subreddit,author,date,post,automated_readability_index,coleman_liau_index,flesch_kincaid_grade_level,flesch_reading_ease,gulpease_index,gunning_fog_index,lix,smog_index,wiener_sachtextformel,n_chars,n_long_words,n_monosyllable_words,n_polysyllable_words,n_sents,n_syllables,n_unique_words,n_words,sent_neg,sent_neu,sent_pos,sent_compound,economic_stress_total,isolation_total,substance_use_total,guns_total,domestic_stress_total,suicidality_total,punctuation,liwc_1st_pers,liwc_2nd_pers,liwc_3rd_pers,liwc_achievement,liwc_adverbs,liwc_affective_processes,liwc_anger,liwc_anxiety,liwc_articles_article,liwc_assent,liwc_auxiliary_verbs,liwc_biological,liwc_body,liwc_causation,liwc_certainty,liwc_cognitive,liwc_common_verbs,liwc_conjunctions,liwc_death,liwc_discrepancy,liwc_exclusive,liwc_family,liwc_feel,liwc_fillers,liwc_friends,liwc_future_tense,liwc_health,liwc_hear,liwc_home,liwc_humans,liwc_impersonal_pronouns,liwc_inclusive,liwc_ingestion,liwc_inhibition,liwc_insight,liwc_leisure,liwc_money,liwc_motion,liwc_negations,liwc_negative_emotion,liwc_nonfluencies,liwc_numbers,liwc_past_tense,liwc_perceptual_processes,liwc_personal_pronouns,liwc_positive_emotion,liwc_prepositions,liwc_present_tense,liwc_quantifiers,liwc_relativity,liwc_religion,liwc_sadness,liwc_see,liwc_sexual,liwc_social_processes,liwc_space,liwc_swear_words,liwc_tentative,liwc_time,liwc_total_functional,liwc_total_pronouns,liwc_work,tfidf_abl,tfidf_abus,tfidf_actual,tfidf_addict,tfidf_adhd,tfidf_advic,tfidf_ago,tfidf_alcohol,tfidf_almost,tfidf_alon,tfidf_alreadi,tfidf_also,tfidf_alway,tfidf_amp,tfidf_amp x200b,tfidf_ani,tfidf_anoth,tfidf_anxieti,tfidf_anxious,tfidf_anymor,tfidf_anyon,tfidf_anyon els,tfidf_anyth,tfidf_around,tfidf_ask,tfidf_attack,tfidf_away,tfidf_back,tfidf_bad,tfidf_becaus,tfidf_becom,tfidf_befor,tfidf_believ,tfidf_best,tfidf_better,tfidf_bit,tfidf_bodi,tfidf_bpd,tfidf_brain,tfidf_call,tfidf_came,tfidf_care,tfidf_caus,tfidf_chang,tfidf_come,tfidf_complet,tfidf_constant,tfidf_control,tfidf_could,tfidf_coupl,tfidf_cri,tfidf_day,tfidf_deal,tfidf_depress,tfidf_diagnos,tfidf_die,tfidf_differ,tfidf_disord,tfidf_doctor,tfidf_doe,tfidf_done,tfidf_dont,tfidf_drink,tfidf_drug,tfidf_eat,tfidf_els,tfidf_emot,tfidf_end,tfidf_enough,tfidf_etc,tfidf_even,tfidf_ever,tfidf_everi,tfidf_everyon,tfidf_everyth,tfidf_experi,tfidf_famili,tfidf_fear,tfidf_feel,tfidf_feel like,tfidf_felt,tfidf_final,tfidf_find,tfidf_first,tfidf_food,tfidf_found,tfidf_friend,tfidf_fuck,tfidf_get,tfidf_give,tfidf_go,tfidf_good,tfidf_got,tfidf_great,tfidf_guess,tfidf_guy,tfidf_happen,tfidf_happi,tfidf_hard,tfidf_hate,tfidf_head,tfidf_health,tfidf_hear,tfidf_heart,tfidf_help,tfidf_high,tfidf_home,tfidf_hope,tfidf_hour,tfidf_hous,tfidf_hurt,tfidf_idea,tfidf_im,tfidf_issu,tfidf_job,tfidf_keep,tfidf_kill,tfidf_kind,tfidf_know,tfidf_last,tfidf_late,tfidf_leav,tfidf_left,tfidf_let,tfidf_life,tfidf_like,tfidf_littl,tfidf_live,tfidf_long,tfidf_look,tfidf_lose,tfidf_lost,tfidf_lot,tfidf_love,tfidf_made,tfidf_make,tfidf_mani,tfidf_mayb,tfidf_mean,tfidf_med,tfidf_medic,tfidf_mental,tfidf_might,tfidf_mind,tfidf_mom,tfidf_month,tfidf_move,tfidf_much,tfidf_need,tfidf_never,tfidf_new,tfidf_next,tfidf_night,tfidf_normal,tfidf_noth,tfidf_notic,tfidf_old,tfidf_onc,tfidf_one,tfidf_onli,tfidf_pain,tfidf_panic,tfidf_parent,tfidf_part,tfidf_past,tfidf_peopl,tfidf_person,tfidf_place,tfidf_pleas,tfidf_point,tfidf_possibl,tfidf_post,tfidf_pretti,tfidf_probabl,tfidf_problem,tfidf_ptsd,tfidf_put,tfidf_question,tfidf_quit,tfidf_read,tfidf_real,tfidf_realli,tfidf_reason,tfidf_recent,tfidf_relationship,tfidf_rememb,tfidf_right,tfidf_said,tfidf_say,tfidf_scare,tfidf_school,tfidf_see,tfidf_seem,tfidf_self,tfidf_sever,tfidf_shit,tfidf_sinc,tfidf_situat,tfidf_sleep,tfidf_social,tfidf_someon,tfidf_someth,tfidf_sometim,tfidf_sorri,tfidf_start,tfidf_stay,tfidf_still,tfidf_stop,tfidf_stress,tfidf_struggl,tfidf_stuff,tfidf_suicid,tfidf_support,tfidf_sure,tfidf_symptom,tfidf_take,tfidf_talk,tfidf_tell,tfidf_thank,tfidf_therapi,tfidf_therapist,tfidf_thing,tfidf_think,tfidf_though,tfidf_thought,tfidf_time,tfidf_tire,tfidf_today,tfidf_told,tfidf_took,tfidf_tri,tfidf_turn,tfidf_two,tfidf_understand,tfidf_us,tfidf_use,tfidf_usual,tfidf_veri,tfidf_want,tfidf_way,tfidf_week,tfidf_weight,tfidf_well,tfidf_went,tfidf_whi,tfidf_whole,tfidf_wish,tfidf_without,tfidf_wonder,tfidf_work,tfidf_worri,tfidf_wors,tfidf_would,tfidf_wrong,tfidf_x200b,tfidf_year bipolarreddit,jibberjabbery,2019/01/01,"This seroquel withdrawal sucks Problems sleeping even with trazodone, nausea anytime I try to eat or drink even the littlest things, no appetite, depression is coming back with a vengeance. I emailed my pdoc, hopefully I hear back tomorrow. I need something for the nausea at the very least. I can't get my latuda calories down without wanting to throw up. I haven't had a full meal in days. I feel awful. Please don't let this last much longer or please let me go back on seroquel. I'll deal with the weight gain if it means I feel ok. Please please let this all stop and let me feel like a person again.",3.7430769230769263,5.792834290598294,3.395222222222224,91.55950000000004,73.61538461538461,6.047521367521367,27.084615384615393,6.742157984588678,1.083034871794872,480,18,95,4,10,143,81,117,0.131,0.6990000000000001,0.17,0.4215,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,6,6,1,0,7,2,9,5,1,0,1,19,21,4,0,5,4,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,5,5,4,1,4,1,0,3,5,3,0,0,1,5,12,3,12,16,4,17,0,1,0,0,4,6,1,4,9,60,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856787456605848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10667823936971578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986733727250178,0.12767485277825802,0.1066642553112055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131724192125007,0.0,0.12672047791620716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16359190645602031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18785351495102284,0.08847218732894138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06470192244743281,0.0,0.0703818152833746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13957804758318101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300226761712887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094711748102443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.506544123263437,0.0,0.060502561222199776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13489938627870848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09103754092518954,0.09182669027093313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108133370434232,0.0,0.5437618523278873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849931574275853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393064966690855,0.0,0.0,0.09533901612007532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10353679933044983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227459910782263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408005449252767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218197044577952,0.07304475605670534,0.0,0.0,0.15080523444611355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937851007107787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Avachi,2019/01/01,"Mental/emotional pain What do you do when you feel a lot of mental/emotional pain? I'm talking about something different than depression, just talking about overall mental or psychological suffering, like having too much anger, sadness, anxiety, etc. It's an almost indescribable type of anguish for me. I feel this way sometimes and don't know how to overcome it.",6.999523809523812,9.476965777777783,7.1176507936507925,66.47457142857147,65.82539682539684,10.11936507936508,37.99682539682539,10.355215969177356,4.802831111111111,296,16,42,8,5,95,50,63,0.341,0.626,0.033,-0.9723,1,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,0,6,8,1,1,2,0,4,2,0,1,0,9,8,4,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,0,2,4,1,7,8,3,2,0,3,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,30,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798276071749072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738139988127387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15467558402156198,0.0,0.0,0.1876272369853893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4040160438060254,0.0,0.0,0.20028382248568247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18160630632244049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869476428784664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773575519315452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267604087112274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5429358195704124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13201502949049554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.382180440835284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13825266913821102,0.1776133378626967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886859095259399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425455566173805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Serendipity10,2019/01/01,"Bipolar and different perspectives? Hi everyone. I’ve been a lurker for a long time. I’ve tried to read through the subreddit and the internet to find other stories that relate to me, but I can’t seem to find it. So here it goes! Background: I’m a 20 year old male college student diagnosed with MDD in Feb 2017, which transformed to a Bipolar2 diagnosis in Nov 2017. I’ve been on Lithium and Wellbutrin, adjusting dosages according to my psychiatrist. However things got rough ever since October since my insurance ran out so I haven’t been taking a steady dose of Lithium since (dw my insurance is now reinstated and I can’t wait to be stable wooo!) Sorry had to get that aside. So sometimes when I notice myself being either depressed, hypomania, or in a mixed state, I can’t help but doubt my perspective on life. Sometimes my views on religion, family, self-worth, body positivity, and other thoughts change so frequently that I can’t tell if it’s my bipolar influencing my thoughts or if I’m experiencing life changes. I’ve been doubting and question my religion (islam btw), sometimes feeling so distant. And then all of a sudden, I’ll enjoy praying and I feel so connected to God. Imagine a twist on a perspective like this but also to weed, alcohol, body image, etc. That’s been happening quite a bit. A question for you all: have you guys ever questioned your perspective on life and doubt it being an effect of Bipolar? Sometimes I don’t know if this is who I am NOW, or if it’ll change in a few days/weeks. It really makes it hard for me to be grounded in my beliefs and have a steady outlook on life. I always think my values on life are changing because I’m growing as an individual, but what if it’s Bipolar? I would really appreciate it if I could hear any similar stories, updates, or comments where anyone could relate to this feeling. Sometimes I feel so lost because I’m sick of analyzing my thoughts and feelings 24/7 and comparing it to my previous feelings “x days or weeks ago”, and finally trying to see where and who I am today. TL;DR — Bipolar 2, 20 year old college guy trying to figure out if these different perspectives on life I’m having are due to bipolar or are natural? How do you distinguish what’s grounded and what’s bound to change?",5.730498084291187,6.821278148148153,6.69048850574713,73.62750000000003,67.28703703703704,9.84750957854406,35.498403575989784,10.004066432519934,3.7770691890166015,1808,89,316,42,29,603,210,432,0.064,0.836,0.099,0.9432,3,0,1,0,0,0,54.0,0,4,0,3,17,7,0,3,17,0,31,18,2,4,4,74,58,44,0,10,18,0,8,1,0,2,16,1,0,3,27,18,1,2,23,1,0,2,6,5,0,0,12,12,33,2,42,38,6,43,3,2,2,0,17,19,0,20,22,204,60,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06774942993872247,0.08167903544068797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06112000272390521,0.06359479987969377,0.0,0.0,0.051974135956224986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05344072317494484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318045066330427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344034410247785,0.16979010924019028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4042571456143557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12204419367720094,0.0,0.0,0.04929018786207947,0.0,0.06582792618364001,0.0775735203518253,0.0,0.15970344620897345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08523820204568848,0.0,0.13826826716878796,0.0,0.0730308968715796,0.0,0.0,0.07205017513838517,0.0,0.23186787887758584,0.0,0.0,0.08372390360200127,0.13970889194736907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03993084058368485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611270122313311,0.0,0.0,0.15135285559821446,0.06758564583576579,0.0,0.06846510189368019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614069808442172,0.0,0.051228545679422366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04200321401305618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239031008699061,0.037339201613848634,0.0,0.0,0.06763699326360907,0.0,0.0,0.08343095301997391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05101674984950609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701458001665427,0.16039812515381066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25685290216323586,0.08129132884389795,0.07644938137434615,0.0,0.0979243628900786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06090377759341317,0.0695778168198725,0.07973180120624124,0.0,0.0,0.18966782802899135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3779496863714975,0.08555567086594931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05746486974074199,0.0,0.06680205138024102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05077583133221719,0.048972424060503415,0.0,0.18202754875755955,0.044566188825398964,0.0,0.07244546977835806,0.0,0.0,0.15567020848274052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261298395100813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05429275469794537,0.0,0.0,0.09843515227713297 bipolarreddit,countrymouse,2019/01/01,"2019 resolution: be S.T.A.B.L.E. Hey friends! We made it through another year. I’m really proud of us. I’ve officially made it past the one year mark of my major manic episode post diagnosis. 2018 was really hard as I was in a depressive episode and had to work through medication and side effects for the first six months. I started a new job in September and started taking improv classes in May. Things are finally at a relatively calm place—for the first time since my husband and I got married in 20-5, it looks like we might have a nice quiet year without any major life changes (that happened to me in prediagnosis manic episodes) We know that stability is never guaranteed. My goal this year is to do everything in my power to stay stable, and be able to steer through an episode if/when one comes up. So, what does stable mean to me? S: Sleep. 8-10 hours, one hour without electronics, in bed by 10:30, out of bed by 7:30 T: Therapy. Going to personal and couples therapy, meditation, journaling, being kind to myself through self talk. A: Activity. Working out consistently, more walking and biking as transport, being outside more B: Balance. Work vs life, alone vs social, self care vs being productive, comfort vs growth L: Learning- less tv, more books and hobbies. More improv! E: Eat healthy, drink water, take meds and vitamins It’s a tall order. I’m probably not going to be able do to all the things all the time, but it’s easy for me to remember and my ultimate goal is to be healthy. What about you?",3.6809141888367236,6.168650531690142,4.7579968701095465,79.68476004173188,75.3732394366197,8.151069379238391,30.588941053729787,8.94667605116694,2.9075343244653107,1197,57,216,28,27,391,175,284,0.023,0.87,0.108,0.9649,2,1,1,0,0,0,58.0,4,1,0,10,2,9,0,0,12,0,19,8,1,3,3,36,36,14,0,0,8,1,1,1,1,2,4,1,2,3,12,16,3,0,5,4,0,6,4,1,0,6,6,3,17,8,39,21,9,39,0,1,1,0,13,13,0,2,18,126,29,9,0.20768218047805329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754805265337457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061550222525079,0.10888643718706867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587291214456628,0.0,0.10985010463568846,0.08944990452241801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489819126038063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943817886303357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087203784093068,0.0,0.0,0.1017247357183096,0.0,0.10625535927112208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332567619468583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375283864446226,0.0,0.17665435662014106,0.0,0.0,0.08022736872971031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803056920340495,0.0,0.08305120592827288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182633315790434,0.0,0.0930212203854086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20452511338140214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030462591191563,0.0,0.0,0.10813451598645678,0.05706834751624964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466920659634042,0.05073151147471866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720036275391584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19651390071338026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131133893290407,0.11534404195747094,0.10460897377905394,0.0,0.11015898687218867,0.0,0.0,0.08288496752700246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008865039249086,0.10029037202764188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110962305235082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09912807049742588,0.0,0.09067003465915076,0.10849183785035356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945106012042056,0.0,0.11195825837570733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13304652282040288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176317126300594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166578080391632,0.0,0.0,0.08589842290994079,0.0,0.10391608303251793,0.10585291448183784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469985162766827,0.11068078569810806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15615115335323215,0.08346353490354129,0.0,0.0,0.2375026730581551,0.0,0.13797481245091078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110114957260698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12490804594133564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001982108249502,0.0,0.22679265130628154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267481030200224 bipolarreddit,egr3gious,2019/01/01,"Enjoy life with this one weird trick. Yes, you are bipolar--or maybe you are the SO of a bipolar person. Here is one trick that will make 2019 better than any other year has been. Quit your addictions. Whether it's video games, Netflix, gambling, sex, impulse shopping--quit the things that every other person in your life is telling you to cut back on. You know it is holding you back. You know you overindulge in it. I am writing this because I am the expert at overindulging. I've probably spent 10,000+ hours or more on video games. If something is stopping you from maintaining relationships and pursuing your goals, get rid of it. Burn it at the stake and pour the ashes in the ocean. Life is what happens when we are busy making other plans. ",4.186914893617022,6.326462531914897,3.6378900709219866,89.90875000000004,72.61702127659575,6.118439716312058,26.643617021276608,6.816661863887847,1.0868340425531922,591,21,113,5,12,175,92,141,0.055,0.883,0.062,0.6124,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,1,11,0,4,5,6,3,0,7,1,13,6,0,2,0,14,20,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,14,4,0,2,2,5,2,0,0,4,0,2,2,0,14,2,13,17,1,13,0,0,0,1,19,7,0,2,6,74,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956938048189324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220738340630425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760662054988684,0.0,0.10942841725903998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15876314968158706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151246005518942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378724085987854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15874124240848814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17678246253213256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19730942258906972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38038240232988496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23965036228056594,0.0,0.1803432204739506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432829940944221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31348467168484184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19354353398702032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3818647104172077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19272794706431245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13819656248177098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15007947784789652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15690078122954687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925932570928532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559938634833465 bipolarreddit,magicalpussyjuice,2019/01/01,"How do people make friends? Seriously, how? I never learned how as a kid and only did it as an adult through drugs or psych hospitalizations. I have no friends. I'm thinking of starting group therapy, or joining a support group but my social skills are shit, I'm painfully shy and have terrible social anxiety. I can kind of make friends but ai can never keep them. The few I made always pursued me. I'm so insecure I can't approach people or when I do it borders on harassment and stalking.. Anyway, how the fuck do I make friends? I need serious answers. :/",2.0095902228612488,4.7283544018691614,3.610654205607478,83.83590941768513,84.42056074766356,6.282961897915169,30.660675772825304,7.61054688173877,2.412212652767793,439,24,80,8,13,145,69,107,0.308,0.584,0.108,-0.9807,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,1,7,14,3,1,5,0,10,4,1,8,2,23,23,16,0,1,5,0,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,4,8,0,0,2,0,11,6,6,21,1,6,0,0,0,1,11,1,2,3,4,53,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047243484118355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129147454779624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19577853831443787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5217221448507254,0.15607211513407288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500556895368885,0.0,0.1758008909743692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597423288905636,0.3380675974734215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12517848879245036,0.2604100266689695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839583059077572,0.17963724071485246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340781812110046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17329213170446134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441831039493713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949223565483826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915758504359457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19306130494747545,0.0,0.0,0.10817355602765996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,lunalavendermoon,2019/01/01,"Things don’t feel quite real. I sometimes get into these “fogs” of feeling like my life isn’t mine or that it’s all not real. I have a cold and my partner just handed me Nyquil to take before bed, it felt like the pills crumbled or disintegrated in my hands for a split second, I’ve seen/felt this before in the car when I look at building or the road sometimes for a split second it looks like the buildings or the the world around me crumbles/disintegrates kind of like the movie Inception if that make sense. I’ve been in a mixed episode for almost 5 months and keep get snip bits of this feeling. Last year my sister in law essentially took my personal experiences having Bipolar and claiming it as their own experience (observed from their many behaviors this person shows symptoms of BPD and factitious disorder) this kind of fucked with my head a bit. I am someone who constantly tries to make themselves feel guilty, I obsess, and try to convince myself my problems aren’t as bad as they seem because I don’t want to come off as pretentious or as a victim; recently I shared with extended in laws that I have bipolar in the context of the conversation we were having, one of them was a social worker and I had a lovely conservation with her about it that made me feel open and comfortable. However in sharing this I feel like I am coming off as though I’m victimizing myself or trying to gain sympathy(even though that wasn’t my intention). This is making me feel like my experiences aren’t real and that I’m just pretending to even though I know what my life has been from my memories; but I keep questioning if they are real? I keep questioning if anything is real. And I’m kind of terrified. It isn’t that extreme but maybe it will get worse I don’t know I’m very confused... anyone ever experience this?",6.058212898212898,6.70171222222222,6.432842527842528,77.35908508158509,66.37891737891738,9.572701372701372,31.054260554260555,9.573946990214177,2.7699219373219384,1454,53,271,28,22,470,179,351,0.08199999999999999,0.8370000000000001,0.08,-0.8246,3,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,5,3,10,21,3,2,17,0,24,11,3,5,2,67,58,30,0,5,14,1,10,6,1,1,6,0,1,3,25,18,0,4,13,2,0,4,9,7,0,3,9,13,40,14,41,48,4,26,0,0,2,2,19,15,1,14,13,181,65,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648658668321469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05340880149377542,0.0,0.06285673829033896,0.06799710475042511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06377665257314162,0.0465623956498984,0.0,0.12999269189582852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16678100556958467,0.0,0.09620177204672008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159446077403664,0.0,0.08254293674422082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875415878005293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10090056249647868,0.06909283777776762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29886910150592266,0.0,0.0,0.2703509404445221,0.16370418916507776,0.14667940451812236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061489485833533,0.1197209662319928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07839104131825088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20367828161564566,0.0,0.23862356362939854,0.0839562485702159,0.06226237689192626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10790320807690544,0.2239013870079978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12828504152316952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893868086783972,0.07227548463312994,0.1529588282319879,0.0774404194685101,0.07673703590729072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06096821827940496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05175912852280869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338945841293584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730882589054402,0.0,0.0,0.1711329843576172,0.08124277119484258,0.0,0.4347031414782261,0.0,0.0,0.07541904263329029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953625598848709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786289586875192,0.06471910668389806,0.0,0.15108957046085722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793912309479706,0.05743054432107465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05074550146760077,0.0,0.22513786351966644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486437418373087,0.1555772221893759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630240121185304,0.04505269932483512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07784084907584468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04918817706460028 bipolarreddit,dodged7,2019/01/01,"Latuda/Antipsychotics and antidepressants? Is it possible to mix antipsychotics with antidepressants? I take latuda right now and it's made manic episodes go away completely, but I still struggle with depression. My mom takes zoloft for depression and it works really well for her but she isn't bipolar. I was wondering if it's worth bringing up to my psychiatrist about taking latuda and zoloft, or if it will just cause mania? Does anyone have experience with mixing them?",6.252129629629632,9.514798456790123,5.8402314814814815,71.22479166666669,70.60493827160494,9.975925925925926,28.64351851851852,10.125756701596842,3.7449370370370376,389,15,58,12,8,120,57,81,0.162,0.777,0.061,-0.8993,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,5,4,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,2,0,16,12,9,0,2,6,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,3,1,0,2,0,8,1,10,9,0,7,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,4,2,41,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472461114476959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978517855657166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163290723161481,0.0,0.0,0.2207946405138832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627535549425865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842845817676836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20599279424826028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968045725752345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19926086651591307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24663491355518066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374032417365229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13490631109495654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17983866301495838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16817366214999505,0.0,0.0,0.22014943866432565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4750017277913468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18934144069048908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22837073352746726,0.15330857869657066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,sko56,2019/01/01,"Ruminating thought lead me to burning bridges. not sure if I did it for them or me... Communication has been difficult for me, it like I get to the first or second chapter of my story before getting cut off. instead of cutting myself again over the pain, I've cut ties. and stressed others. It's time for change. just not sure how much more or where... ",1.7985294117647044,4.410680323529416,2.8220588235294137,89.96926470588238,84.0,5.1647058823529415,24.676470588235286,6.6274283507984215,0.8531117647058828,274,11,55,3,8,87,52,68,0.237,0.73,0.033,-0.9067,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,1,2,5,9,3,1,2,0,3,1,0,2,2,13,6,6,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,6,0,2,3,0,8,3,9,3,2,7,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,4,4,42,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519627023736565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132387792896452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518659185960994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094042466815135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14466146189447282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21767051661085016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150755422175926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3391861416165549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5581490480399707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350735078257061,0.17266062871993004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ssnakeggirl,2019/01/01,"Happy New Year! Here's my Resolution I want to notice the times when I am alright. Really notice them, stop to think ""hey my mood is okay right now, I'm not anxious, and I'm safe."" Taking a moment to just feel my body and appreciate my surroundings. This has been so helpful to me lately. I'm climbing out of a small depression caused by a medication problem (lithium level got a bit low while tapering off another med). I'm also kind of stressed out by some life stuff outside of my control, it's not terrible more just annoying but I don't like it. I kind of have to realize something always comes up. There are no perfect stretches of time where work isn't stressful, a social situation isn't stressful, etc. But I have a roof over my head, food in my pantry, and love ones around me. **I want to notice that it's okay right now.** There are three times when a potentially bad thing can hurt you. You can get anxious before it happens (if it happens). You can have it happen. And then you can ruminate and dwell on it. I know I can't always control what happens to me, but I do want to get better at reducing anxiety and rumination. When I think back on events I want to tell myself a story that is neutral, not one that makes it worse. I don't want to invent problems or spin existing problems out of control. It's hard, but these two things are my mental health resolutions for 2019. **I want to appreciate the good moments, and I want to do my best to ensure that bad ones only hurt me once.** Disclaimer - I'm talking about my own anxiety and rumination over small problems, this isn't meant to dismiss traumatic events that you will naturally feel a lot of anxiety around and ruminate about. Terrible and traumatic things happen. This is more about not spending the entire day worrying about something inconsequential. ",2.8093968253968247,5.347319885714286,4.182238095238098,82.39437301587306,78.71428571428571,7.317460317460316,26.579365079365076,8.344100000000001,2.0916126984127,1440,59,268,30,36,474,177,350,0.18600000000000005,0.649,0.165,-0.9393,0,0,2,0,0,0,51.0,0,5,1,8,20,31,1,4,12,3,25,7,2,5,1,56,55,23,0,12,12,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,23,16,1,5,7,0,1,2,11,17,0,5,3,3,35,13,41,51,8,44,0,4,0,1,12,22,0,4,21,185,58,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06061094467470416,0.12613025933650415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07947466421214598,0.17394233234178672,0.17124708315082446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13494214181220324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05827947507853558,0.12656653731685086,0.0,0.0,0.06449352633741094,0.0,0.07953917190782835,0.06703198610302769,0.08274538374743097,0.08418797822994932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07785940273085336,0.0,0.06528821503741837,0.0,0.0,0.2550219795606492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04887965831758373,0.0,0.06527965664514918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452826763932414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664556365709321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09164815305818096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919652688384286,0.0,0.0,0.06357084868558753,0.06061789580114155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33511368275459497,0.0806821393170104,0.0678948677697423,0.0,0.07778459872078272,0.08056349756214765,0.0,0.0,0.05080187188418751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16227410072190696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578516952116273,0.04165337642744204,0.0,0.08549683194841118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05353422789010151,0.03702820978981136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443576462991271,0.06840536287654285,0.0,0.050591840065514704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418797822994932,0.07635260441467392,0.07638064771957033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320051832455968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588695513859625,0.0,0.08071615244874496,0.15407614089239374,0.057643335606910415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900913571018853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04855438380989144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294521419645053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519353769285587,0.0,0.07726053906849795,0.0,0.11669698005290502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633656203824772,0.2604589110001451,0.0,0.08676386389645223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056986254669012415,0.060918848864727385,0.06624566851959443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15105878435205444,0.09712908223272636,0.0,0.0,0.13258501398277184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403790494138535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129291632739342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05517757850589186,0.07697059428678313,0.07723866283225295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04880765136469694 bipolarreddit,jakefloresdsa,2019/01/01,"Depakote v Lamictal Two anticonvulsants, two lists of scary or unpleasant side effects, one sad man looking for relief. Lamictal has generally been great to me, but I think it might not be working anymore and increasing the dose makes me dumb as a post and a goldfish in terms of memory. Are similar things to be expected with depakote? I've heard about the weight gain but that's a gamble with 80% of these damn drugs. Is the relief comparable? It seems like L for me at least shortens depressive episodes, but does fuck-all to lessen the fall.",7.318943894389442,7.82386289108911,7.097772277227726,74.15708745874588,63.65346534653465,11.089768976897693,35.645214521452154,10.864195022040775,3.929137293729373,436,19,79,11,6,138,78,101,0.155,0.701,0.14400000000000002,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,1,8,2,0,7,0,7,3,0,2,0,16,12,7,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,1,5,4,1,0,3,0,1,2,1,4,0,3,2,3,4,4,14,7,3,7,0,2,1,0,2,3,2,3,2,48,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383804325166334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20702857607075364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21034762601401003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27875052766331204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22221631043786208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650065300254922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743164626162945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20184855241118954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16044748314927168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549924258685037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16287955388012598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23020606666184565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21882196777922894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15968979533385644,0.1540180863619379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4696091500173606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927034259068715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17499074131475026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,SenDrala,2019/01/01,"Seroquel side effects I was recently put onto seroquel (quetiapine in the UK) and about an hour after taking it, I have trouble with my balance and my speech becomes slurred. Only for an hour or so, but still off-putting. Anyone else experienced this?",5.128333333333334,7.701886666666668,5.579722222222222,75.09625000000003,71.22222222222223,7.166666666666668,35.694444444444436,8.07648339933343,3.2137777777777785,200,11,31,3,4,64,39,45,0.043,0.957,0.0,-0.2144,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,6,3,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,4,0,6,2,0,9,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,5,23,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859846172440094,0.2725355867329713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937622530951693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221983928955528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5238881399718539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20229544994050935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5347817290587326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626305287658793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124179299403809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19998946812006327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,blanca8833,2019/01/01,"Disgust with partner during depressive episode We all know the pattern: infatuation with new s.o. Then a few months later when depression kicks in they become the most annoying disgusting person. I'm aware it's the illness and it will pass, but once those thoughts are formed, the magic of the relationship is gone and I'm back to believing that I'm better off alone. It's too much work to push through the depressive period trying to make myself feel better and get out of the mood but also to convince my partner that it's all ok and I still like them. I simply want to be alone when I am depressed and it's annoying and a huge turn off to have to validate a partner when I am fighting tooth and nail not to jump off a bridge from the depression. Please talk some sense into me or tell me how you cope when this happens! ",5.093451178451177,6.108836302469138,5.522772166105501,81.69792929292932,68.69135802469135,8.853872053872054,29.54208754208755,9.095868883498916,2.3585111111111106,659,24,128,12,11,211,105,162,0.201,0.6509999999999999,0.14800000000000002,-0.8769,0,2,0,0,2,1,10.0,1,1,2,3,10,16,5,0,12,1,7,2,1,2,2,26,19,17,0,1,4,0,1,1,3,1,1,0,0,4,9,12,0,0,3,0,0,4,1,10,0,0,2,1,12,5,20,15,7,22,0,5,0,0,12,7,0,3,12,88,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138964078127267,0.0,0.12118529877795772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165237670839742,0.0,0.0,0.16736238829716388,0.0,0.170732017742403,0.0,0.2680470105579977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6525995211856931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07662242835547055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917262157935424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134005011758697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832816068873611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403406580567523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115313805073894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095659998723475,0.0,0.11139824760293482,0.0,0.0,0.14635684580519912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16138357689697375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13231758954991096,0.0,0.16634378753823514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626956575413683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101885690686237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180092127754436,0.13245134480873827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12030465695303595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288470705204683,0.16483039313172293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08938134464756131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032184654055402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,atticus__,2019/01/01,"Over the holidays I realized I’ve officially pushed everyone out of my life / they’ve given up trying to maintain a relationship with me. This was the first year I didn’t get a single text for Christmas or New Years aside from my mom, sister, and one aunt. Added to the funk I was already in because of the holidays. I’m so glad they’re over. ",2.818695652173915,4.719716884057976,4.45731884057971,83.58858695652177,75.81159420289855,8.078260869565218,25.99275362318841,8.841846274778883,2.0035971014492757,271,10,55,6,6,91,53,69,0.0,0.868,0.132,0.8173,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,6,0,3,1,0,0,0,5,6,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,4,0,6,1,12,2,1,10,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,1,4,34,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34837602171677023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19244404522417866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016590093795584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685290337171599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16493701063741165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229839075626606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697368301399631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048990945592866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21392232790387372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33893705757444514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21433540639376208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4065929872977014 bipolarreddit,peeweefap,2019/01/01,"Hello. Hi I'm new here. Been lurking for awhile. There's something on my mind that's bugging me. Idk if I should believe and apply all the things I've read in this sub. Part of me wants to think that some of the posters here are just trolls. Idk, just passing by. Maybe I'll open up and post about my experiences over time. Anyways, thank you for reading and thank you for this sub. I'm sorry for taking your time",0.7734117647058838,3.1309480470588262,1.468529411764706,99.6733823529412,86.1764705882353,3.8705882352941177,19.088235294117645,4.935628992294339,-0.6612117647058824,324,9,73,1,10,99,61,85,0.068,0.872,0.061,0.34,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,0,0,7,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,1,13,10,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,8,2,13,8,3,10,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,2,3,44,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542178647932252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207182212292989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266846854696407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22783104948736604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21792353496697656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443450292664431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21609977248545809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4514000864453981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17370791215126816,0.0,0.2525843671361811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16965243342864347,0.0,0.0,0.4154761183464706,0.0,0.0,0.14990451355300988,0.1445803488330778,0.0,0.0,0.2631438100175088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13308771775270298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,chinacatsunflowaaa,2019/01/01,"Slowly getting worse, idk what to do Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, I just need advice on what to do, my mental health is rapidly declining even with medication, most likely due to the severe toxic environment/relationship I'm in with my partner. I'm 26 and I dont know how to leave (we are on a lease together) or where to go. My parents live in town and say I can come live with them again but they are toxic in their own way, as much as I love them. I dont have any close friends who I could get a place with and I'm pretty much broke, even though I'm on disability for mental health reasons. I wouldn't be able to afford my own place unless I went the sect 8 route, which I dont think I can due to the waiting list in my area being over a 2 year wait. I've spoken to my therapist about all this and she never really has any solid advice other than ""you have to do what's best for you"" and I'm at the end of my fucking rope I just need some direction on what to do, anything would be helpful. I'm trying my best but damn.",4.217081043956044,3.74403827678572,5.5639285714285736,85.86184065934067,70.25,8.499450549450549,25.26648351648352,7.882392219407189,1.0958060439560442,810,18,187,9,13,274,127,224,0.073,0.7879999999999999,0.139,0.9727,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,2,4,2,9,9,2,0,8,0,22,5,0,2,2,34,41,14,0,6,7,1,0,1,2,2,3,1,0,1,10,12,0,2,3,0,0,3,5,4,0,0,1,1,27,5,33,34,9,28,1,1,0,2,15,17,2,4,7,127,37,0,0.11315140727285695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211404912437216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538936741452607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311396706083774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374908420915871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09746991825525313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903421914935689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978378198482399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021856172674537,0.0,0.0,0.14947087469476855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742049657480765,0.10460665272627047,0.11823388029591557,0.0,0.06430655232836849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24054930946540146,0.0,0.0,0.07584300316569652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218505427221741,0.0,0.0,0.11981100252851075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05528006209516964,0.0,0.19982953130362616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10212356278964374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398813869560832,0.2280600100720471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16635860742667086,0.16780066951309572,0.08726934085181975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564124721025766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3546574126522147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10836777022949494,0.11511565986170146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248768890636591,0.11633849201676633,0.0,0.1214822656789958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998254062831627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782888295073694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126663736599806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313775049877406,0.0,0.07250285292686985,0.11117068314450798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682237808482623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981432032871059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489248815737856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11531095080620606,0.0803795132541636,0.12371330104737364,0.0,0.0728657964691083 bipolarreddit,gotja,2019/01/01,"Wishing you all a better year this year than the last! I hate saying 'Happy New Year' it seems kinda trite, but I'm sending good vibes and luck to you all.",1.565833333333334,3.4748297500000014,2.5825,95.54583333333336,79.625,4.266666666666667,16.916666666666664,3.1291,-0.9377833333333334,120,2,26,0,3,38,27,32,0.091,0.557,0.35200000000000004,0.8831,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,1,0,6,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,8,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,4,2,4,2,6,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,3,5,13,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584885014095532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24514167586821325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31112617266801856,0.0,0.2885554882026193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382385403042564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822755729635665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324243290586702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660710520845609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33609534462738844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5646356638988472 bipolarreddit,barchives,2019/01/02,Accidentally double dosed on Lamictal? I am on 250mg per day of Lamictal for Bipolar 2. I thought I missed the dose I was supposed to take 12 hours ago so I took it now but I think I actually did take it this morning. Should I be worried? What should I do? ,-0.21563492063491907,2.0321476481481504,2.7148677248677267,89.33833333333332,91.03703703703705,6.048677248677249,24.38095238095239,7.447530270364453,1.284828571428572,199,9,45,4,7,70,41,54,0.139,0.861,0.0,-0.6848,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,7,3,0,0,0,5,13,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,0,9,0,5,6,1,7,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,30,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.33100483864805075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006754003281765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21875234937159432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33403819242791416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5100640028921821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21734209753131908,0.0,0.2692824925756511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.376857497267438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34446841308431536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,echo-of-an-echo,2019/01/02,"Help connecting with a friend Kindly direct me elsewhere if this is not an appropriate space to ask questions. I have a buddy of five years that our friend group and I are struggling to connect with. They are bipolar2, so they have their ups and downs over time. All around we enjoy their company, they're a lot of fun to hang with, but this past year they've become kind of withdrawn and even aggressive. They'll stress that they haven't spent time with anyone in a while, but when we make plans they will either insist we have to do it some other time (without even giving when they are available!) or complain when they do spend time with us. I worry a lot about how much they've withdrawn, I think it's taking a negative affect on their health, however I've become frustrated with how they've been treating my friends and I. I want to be mindful in approaching this, and supportive. Wondering how to help them get out more, and perhaps also discuss how their communication has become off putting and discouraging. Any advice or insight is appreciated ",8.694517766497462,8.007525177664977,7.726502538071068,74.75523604060916,61.18274111675128,10.519593908629444,34.92842639593909,9.642632912329526,3.147824771573603,848,30,152,13,10,261,122,197,0.129,0.7240000000000001,0.147,-0.126,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,5,0,12,1,13,15,2,2,7,0,16,1,0,6,1,43,26,22,0,2,8,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,8,18,0,1,4,0,2,3,4,6,0,1,2,0,25,9,26,21,7,24,0,1,0,0,28,10,0,8,11,115,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131125029755912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730851500584894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125109783401933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382598804268473,0.0,0.0,0.11945401055281345,0.12544581876711988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4445937635283748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772572067807611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110153681086309,0.0,0.07010665927694065,0.1287234614955004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426334688144108,0.0,0.0,0.17988412689052544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794681900311147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281603183323454,0.0,0.0,0.0895702130692833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13548963222203095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986421673674093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12809574348426367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13489401666558282,0.15031905692471015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15370963725814127,0.14028036731591387,0.0,0.0,0.15227270999101766,0.0,0.0,0.1008911904788208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598098605964125,0.0,0.0,0.3129797990308897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16140926512271253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791463936638852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935053880881947,0.14551901916172855,0.0,0.136272421034868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728228001387569 bipolarreddit,IronLadyDragon,2019/01/02,"Vivid Nightmares I’ve had bad dreams since I can remember. I have journals from when I was 8 describing my nightmares. Consistently 5 nights out of the week. They flare and will be worse sometimes. Lately, the past few weeks, they’ve become unbearable. Screaming in my sleep, waking up crying or hyperventilating. More concerning, I often have 3-5 min upon waking where I do not realize I’m awake and I feel that it is very real and absolutely what is happening. I had a bout of post partum depression early in the year but have adjusted my meds and my day to day has been overall much better. Obviously, the holidays are stressful for most but I feel that I handled it normally. I am terrified to fall asleep at night. I usually take sleeping medicine and have found they are absolutely worse when I do not take it. I figured out it’s not as bad when I take my lamictal in the morning; but never the less, they come every night. Obviously, this is part of my life that I can’t seem to shake, but I can’t understand why it’s been SO much worse lately. My question: do you have constant nightmares? Does this just come with the illness? Is it my anxiety dragging into the night? Is there ANYTHING I can do? Meds: Lamictal (13 yrs) Xanax (10 yrs as needed, haven’t taken in a month) Ambien (10 yrs) Vyvanse (5 months) ",2.6849498327759207,5.189301351778656,4.15598814229249,82.59779492246886,78.96047430830039,7.528671328671327,25.936302827607175,8.502166056373571,2.0925775007601093,1034,41,195,23,26,342,144,253,0.163,0.802,0.035,-0.9861,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,3,1,8,7,0,2,10,0,30,8,5,0,3,38,44,16,0,2,9,0,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,12,11,0,0,10,2,0,4,7,6,0,0,7,4,29,1,21,35,7,38,0,1,1,0,5,11,0,5,22,131,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269799110686589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889590115646678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805218701487068,0.0,0.11939053687924067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560773129794403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186241180758866,0.0,0.11682022109536325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118745339938142,0.13943412719951556,0.0,0.09310838354332404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460108267202087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910808804470288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931957832852944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11852863162712195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559453866045788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24388828709880536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635587684203415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24015465060978106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257250638563254,0.0,0.15893531066378014,0.08015651234159855,0.08337518577643256,0.0,0.0,0.4057868769156642,0.1059173369244088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706429532993427,0.10319591169134122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10353215558718748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109935663735573,0.0,0.0,0.12304412491572955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12245887333182845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098412306602207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942336939030722,0.0,0.21636081231324414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069159744166516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123830860582404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438385093810487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125383441497258,0.0,0.0,0.11905945045761915,0.08919574854500258,0.0,0.0,0.17342634652129071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975455439453104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3304965472988569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961436007262965 bipolarreddit,arkhanea,2019/01/02,recommended English speaking doctor (psychiatrist?) in Tokyo hello...does anyone would recommend an English speaking doctor (psychiatrist?) in Tokyo (preferably around Setagaya ku) to do a diagnostic? I suspect a bipolar disorder but since I am not a doctor I want to get some contact where I can initiate the process. Thank you,6.447798742138367,10.138007018867928,7.002169811320754,60.59369496855348,73.15094339622641,9.571069182389936,40.90880503144654,9.725611199111238,5.7085371069182385,264,17,32,8,6,86,40,53,0.094,0.769,0.13699999999999998,0.4866,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,0,4,4,0,0,0,8,7,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,5,6,1,4,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,0,23,5,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824892980628188,0.0,0.0,0.2323351876311104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29911554766652243,0.8013986762807919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635577208265365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21589246767739428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24028323881898514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393783881449932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853988139773164,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,footwords,2019/01/02,"Seeking advice on a close friend who is having her first episodes. I've got a very close family friend who seems to be experiencing her first experiences with bipolar. Her mother was diagnosed bipolar. My friend has had what clearly seem to be manic episodes with full-on hallucinations as well as very depressive episodes. She believes that her hallucinations are her having a spiritual experience. Even when she is depressed, she thinks she is being punished for her behavior. She thinks the truth of the world is being revealed to her. &#x200B; We've been talking to her family and they are afraid to take her to the hospital against her will. The problem is that she is convinced that she is right and everyone is conspiring against her to label her as sick and that they just want to give her drugs to kill her. &#x200B; What are the other options available to her and her family? Are psychiatrists available for in-home care or diagnosis? How can she get help when she refuses to believe that she has a problem? I'm scared for her safety because her depression gets extremely severe. She thinks that a mass shooting happed because she went out to a club one night. She thinks her small behaviors put peoples lives at risk. She hasn't admitted to being suicidal but I know that there's a strong link between this condition and suicide attempts and it seems like a bad idea to wait for it to get to that point. &#x200B; We tried to wait it out for a while to see if her episodes would let up temporarily enough for her to see that she needs help but she seems to go straight from manic to depressed and back without any break. Or, if there is a break it doesn't seem to matter because she thinks everything she's experienced is real and that we can't see the truth. The only time she said she wanted help, she meant help in finding someone who will validate her hallucinations. &#x200B; My family and hers aren't sure what to do but she clearly needs help. Any suggestions or resources you might have would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!",6.4383032271158935,7.860842374670187,6.035897097625334,77.7512964278466,65.88654353562005,9.208077937893242,33.046580069007504,9.466822959209583,3.046298477775523,1656,70,295,32,26,512,181,379,0.107,0.742,0.151,0.9623,0,0,1,1,0,1,43.0,2,1,2,4,9,25,2,3,17,0,40,5,0,1,5,65,74,24,3,10,10,1,0,1,3,5,5,1,0,0,22,17,0,3,17,1,0,3,5,12,1,3,7,6,53,13,46,55,1,27,0,4,3,0,68,14,0,12,9,209,75,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633075019660956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941882575811189,0.3299225392807217,0.09232034169009316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052194900357559484,0.05667628092868161,0.12413555635612443,0.0,0.0,0.15295318503542268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920734907282508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338569569734616,0.06889594000192469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871829989765575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07013733935667847,0.0,0.044833558952894405,0.0,0.0,0.06486146646859901,0.061005431125231886,0.13279772827859102,0.2559618035096972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06204034181822996,0.1154759935870234,0.0,0.0,0.15732986087951698,0.0,0.10639221159241506,0.06511589575838367,0.03857730291280894,0.0,0.05428918203127042,0.07483703683094202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274899214002407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07662733321401588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07509825678352268,0.0,0.037304622755378526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941106166116742,0.0,0.033162339190488395,0.0,0.0599385605424837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07200908432141953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066310542857664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370001322914304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04599668986104545,0.051625176002797486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04705887740992192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06416776665862399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990241811648254,0.0,0.06823732539178808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726136877047678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057968449799906625,0.06456864543118206,0.0,0.06795890193052594,0.0,0.16227275704141592,0.3089732856873015,0.0,0.07668415363672301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05751380989560824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14849761383972532,0.0,0.06397532489838925,0.0,0.05103669654181707,0.05455871457501755,0.0,0.0624940301293692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174711921361106,0.0,0.0,0.03958089638711215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04608550828114137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11201486663120136,0.08007379943942385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610315357982598,0.06292468096039319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543310833557933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964388454525216,0.0,0.3299225392807217,0.0 bipolarreddit,emptypackages,2019/01/02,"Grieving what my life could have been It's been about a year since I was diagnosed (type 2), and my therapist says I'm still in denial that I actually have bipolar disorder. I guess she's right. In a way, I guess I'm grieving over what I thought my life could've been: stable, connected to others, and successful. I'm stuck in a mindset where I feel like my symptoms are only in my head and if I stop taking my meds and going to therapy, everything will go back to normal--no more suicidal thoughts/attempts and hypomania. Yet, if roles were reversed and a friend were telling me this, I'd tell them to keep taking their meds and going to therapy and move on with their life. I know this is just whining, but to be honest, I just don't want to have bipolar disorder. I've realized how serious bipolar disorder is and I don't want to deal with the stigma and the risks/uncertainty and the work involved. I don't want to keep having to disclose this loved ones. I don't want the decreased lifespan from being likely to commit suicide. I don't want the reckless decisions that come with mania and mixed states. I don't want any of this. Has anyone else experienced these feelings? How do I accept my condition so I can move on with my life?",5.595891156462585,5.931133269387754,6.288571428571429,79.06809523809524,67.3265306122449,9.635374149659864,32.25170068027211,9.558583805096642,2.871892517006802,981,39,191,19,15,322,132,245,0.149,0.738,0.113,-0.2335,0,0,0,0,0,2,29.0,0,0,3,2,10,11,0,0,9,0,26,11,1,2,1,44,51,18,4,9,5,0,2,2,1,1,9,1,0,0,11,17,0,3,7,0,0,6,6,4,0,1,8,4,29,7,25,39,1,22,0,3,0,1,12,9,0,4,7,126,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.10079072871420863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023697089331818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221889212969039,0.1058271293154719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941937020770244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897041219519347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649284653086642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10648173747294684,0.0,0.10483154728406414,0.0,0.0,0.35511879930305496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628090863483154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282540796178708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444744717857993,0.07378643499342237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797973134049484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17609680719717966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275589422376211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10599964797106833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18360793774006628,0.0,0.0,0.056762435118606236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918114590330874,0.10091913482277004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321825275816972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22945149046288715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21955005939250544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10119683612812608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998821945014343,0.07855248188839878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.088204359879741,0.0,0.08213594382121657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854379681456131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248309885031968,0.0863504288055977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22595285914344115,0.0,0.0,0.10735209522615943,0.15531411187934915,0.0,0.1805503315094928,0.0,0.23622955029704398,0.11992121242294572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199631995572396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3655190839364755,0.0819823925546984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751923130504988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06651180243950029 bipolarreddit,lismox42,2019/01/02,"Currently obsessing over an ex I’m currently obsessing over an ex. It’s crazy because for the most part I am happily married. We broke up 14 years ago, when He moved and I decided to end our relationship. I’ve also been staying with my mom and helping out with my dad while she’s on vacation. I’m struggling and I miss my husband. I’ll be back home in a week and it can’t come soon enough! Does anyone else struggle with obsessive thoughts. I hate this.",2.7504347826086963,4.634501652173917,4.286304347826088,84.81467391304348,75.95652173913044,8.513043478260869,29.97826086956522,9.188382445141503,2.707147826086957,360,17,74,9,8,120,70,92,0.231,0.7070000000000001,0.062,-0.9264,2,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,2,0,0,0,4,8,1,5,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,13,10,7,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,10,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,8,0,0,2,0,10,0,11,7,3,19,0,2,0,0,11,6,0,1,10,44,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18713750694390235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16882570000221936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14761399045399826,0.2163085640872885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16233162556204114,0.0,0.1286915421193348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18185376691856325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18474499751755294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17635647471180504,0.0,0.18698202780309564,0.21813449651920175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20842878824910624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415035127451243,0.0,0.21176193424521134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472511050866655,0.0,0.2243779945636712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22861305958942466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22665462352879764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250166493991368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4413989180147868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675988599973434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693408206998785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359488117423812 bipolarreddit,babyforks,2019/01/02,"Finding natural alternative to klonopin for sleep I’ve been prescribed 1 mg of klonopin for sleep for the past five or so months. It works well compared to ambien, but I moved to another state and haven’t been able to find a psychiatrist under my network. I’m running low on my prescription from my old psychiatrist and fear another manic episode may occur if I don’t get enough sleep. I’m thinking of weaning off what I have left to prep for this.",6.867931034482758,6.964364528735633,6.929333333333336,76.37400000000002,64.63218390804597,10.63816091954023,36.94022988505747,10.355215969177356,3.7545098850574696,362,17,69,8,5,116,62,87,0.083,0.877,0.04,-0.6858,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,2,0,6,3,3,0,0,9,10,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,2,1,1,2,0,6,1,15,7,1,11,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,3,3,41,9,1,0.19220800700130347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4030937085314497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986022516712847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21628744488325485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3513492725150943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10042075056524756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20883456199995454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15341859741708955,0.20428669310408545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20168997048092926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18348429147206854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5770404519757898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315912986727112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728180815478404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13992971828326387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,xXCyberRoninXx,2019/01/02,"I want to live! I'll be 29 in a couple of days and I'm actually surprised that I'm getting so old. My depression is getting worse and often enough I've been thinking about suicide, BUT I do not want to and will not give up! I want to live!",0.3994339622641512,2.0428919622641537,3.0156981132075447,92.32128301886793,82.20754716981132,5.749433962264153,23.807547169811322,6.742157984588678,0.6258105660377358,186,7,44,2,5,65,37,53,0.158,0.736,0.106,-0.6866,0,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,11,14,5,1,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,4,1,7,11,1,4,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,27,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.2408917988907912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731368792068888,0.0,0.15919902309265085,0.0,0.2126131385413733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550639509306031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579398086279809,0.2368027899669274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4359494159683521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25902949388050994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27001586057541804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15817269941689888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4367988543273576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25156312648474244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,SecTrono,2019/01/02,"Being dragged into the upside-down Every fall i get dragged into the upside-down, that dark damn place from strangerthings . Im always stuck there till spring. I know that sounds like a gross exaggeration but its not as much of a strech as the normies would assume. I feel so alone and everything is darker. Even visually, i see more shadows than are really there. And the demi-gorgon is always just around the corner, not a real one but a metaphorical one that represents deep anxiety. - This year i promised myself i wouldnt let it happen again. I telling people i needed help but they didnt really seem to get it. I started asked for small accommodations in august but i didnt get any of what i needed till late December. Its too late now, im stuck in the upside-down for another season because people thinks i was just complaining about the winter blues. - The lithium really takes the edge off. I dont think ill have to spend next winter in the upside-down. I just wish i was taken seriously.",2.953263157894739,5.594440168421055,3.8897368421052647,84.09565789473685,78.89473684210526,6.747368421052633,20.55263157894737,7.908726449838941,1.0771894736842098,792,21,145,14,20,254,116,190,0.11,0.8059999999999999,0.084,0.0705,0,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,0,12,6,1,0,14,0,13,1,0,0,0,26,32,11,0,5,9,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,9,5,0,0,6,0,1,1,6,4,0,2,7,4,17,2,20,21,2,26,0,0,2,0,5,11,1,2,15,95,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022690964593574,0.0,0.0,0.24138459873602966,0.0,0.0,0.09863822180570428,0.15209641232361598,0.11096200683430972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12912426774219732,0.13560113565599527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842045943990012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16999622340919116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580342644700744,0.0,0.12220994903707008,0.0,0.1303605930507289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.073341078998756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273461812063072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128266257864198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972232160966844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3133553919025867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07971507874343173,0.0,0.32724294045903274,0.0,0.0,0.1483223213988245,0.0,0.07086356286782268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10662762657255967,0.2151038338711096,0.0,0.0,0.15426114423023424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19657776883331687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20111727937356336,0.0,0.15154522206548918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16509739652777733,0.2787661069075542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155851889125028,0.13204706537143027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026663536807931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10905871667202433,0.0,0.12677912657691945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858829488155978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679906962949684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10303857258635607,0.0,0.0,0.09340673207119672 bipolarreddit,Turtlphant,2019/01/02,"Addictions and how the heck to quit A little background about myself. My name is Michael. I am 28 years old and live in the USA. I have been diagnosed with bipolar for 8 months but lord knows ive been bipolar all my life. I have 2 addictions, they are video games and weed. They basically run my life. I have friends who do them but they aren't addicted, they're functioning adults even though they smoke and/or play video games. Some thoughts on this; What is the cycle of addiction and bipolar? Maybe it is that at some point in the cycle, you need help mentally, like anything to feel good because you're in the depressive part of the cycle, or maybe you're in the manic part and HAVE to do something ""cool"" and ""fun"" so either way you go to your addiction, your life force, what keeps you here. Then because of this and through this, you're addicted to something. &#x200B; But like, so what? I'm just speaking out loud here, but I love my addictions. I don't want to quit them. I play league of legends, and smoke weed. I love doing it. Am I really happy while doing those two things? Deep down, I know the answer is ""not really"", BUT AT LEAST I am not drowning in despair. My addictions keep me from going over the deep end, they are what make life ""okay"". Isn't it acceptable to use these things for my own benefit? &#x200B; However this brings me to my next thought. Do I over-use them? I play league for like, 7 hours a day on average. I smoke CONSTANTLY. I'm high right now as I type this. At work. Was late because I woke and toked, played League for 2 hours, THEN came to work. My boss isn't happy with me. My addictions are a hindrance to my life, as you can see. &#x200B; Are video games and weed ruining my life? Probably. Will I regret it someday? I already do, and will probably continue to further regret they're use as I get older. But they're also saving me. &#x200B; Therefore I, like any other addict out there, don't know what to do. &#x200B; If I decide to quit. 1. Will life be bleak and dull or will it refill itself with other things? 2. Will I just find a new addiction? I heard it's impossible to ""quit"" addictions, one has to REPLACE addictions. 3. When I am drowning in bipolar, which is often, what do I use as a crutch instead of my addictions. I use video and games to ESCAPE! I escape from reality all the time because it is so vicious for me because I am bipolar. I see the world as hell, everything is horrible because I am depressed. When I am in this place, and I need to run away and can't use my addictions anymore, what do I do? That is the time when I would relapse, not knowing what to do but needing something to help me escape my problems. &#x200B; 4. What about quitting addictions would improve my life? I look at this as a cost/benefit ratio question. Simply put; is the cost of quitting my addictions worth all the work it will be? I will be missing out 100% on the things that I ""love"", being League of Legends and marijuana, and I will have to put in a lot of work finding new things to spend my life doing. And I probably wont find them as much fun as my addictions! Fuck that man, why the hell should I quit? What makes it worth it? I can't find an answer man. ",2.040017633228839,4.308225755485896,3.1495366379310354,90.23740840517245,79.84639498432603,6.495336990595613,24.23207288401254,7.6454224807358475,1.205066536050157,2504,91,517,40,64,803,245,638,0.091,0.775,0.134,0.9829,1,0,6,0,0,1,129.0,0,6,9,11,20,35,4,0,24,2,66,37,0,10,3,88,103,48,2,11,16,0,1,4,1,12,33,3,0,3,43,25,0,2,16,12,4,8,11,13,0,2,8,8,82,22,71,79,12,62,3,8,3,4,33,30,4,8,27,351,125,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6888191798296152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038737317652642995,0.028072062415367968,0.0,0.22820618962189546,0.2559258013174547,0.02387141890583256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034812999006434066,0.0,0.0,0.028886990008375267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03298066603802858,0.0,0.0,0.12839172007543034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0401487750728722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03793415079825645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02263869712800789,0.0,0.06046876865660278,0.03562906754002052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031091067029318208,0.0,0.0,0.0231853705740504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03154854445426298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01774926177434209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833496596669838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027120689739636068,0.032452395999184806,0.018340003259274845,0.0,0.03989998049098111,0.029442947006970338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747361409022152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04705794724052945,0.037088518950513294,0.0,0.0,0.06913927543440357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06240277649339958,0.0,0.0,0.07716732937640372,0.0,0.03959800355617439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22315022068695675,0.06859871410535788,0.03518268606572745,0.03099681957688801,0.0,0.029477895397520007,0.0,0.0,0.029843534301945744,0.09504618150346847,0.0,0.046863394050354314,0.0,0.07053188090311542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03537582728033065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028019085306822337,0.0,0.02580493336408724,0.07808586214229975,0.0,0.06780588985282485,0.037332712688865816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03683496384126207,0.0,0.023786875825059985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602681437338273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03667543283807966,0.0,0.033183924801788355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354174656134955,0.033589076718851966,0.0,0.07057693893330884,0.03932368226304979,0.2613564477753362,0.0,0.0,0.04497609136984325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029977990184232382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05594550293648103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08107260805730272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660522274426395,0.0,0.03448877235701316,0.05573613091523496,0.040937983591822005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034290781966397295,0.0,0.042224896735328886,0.15158971926797246,0.0,0.0,0.020704810822913432,0.027863331955874426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031675230016032105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10222235842449837,0.0,0.0,0.049872694066058224,0.0,0.2559258013174547,0.02260534698494995 bipolarreddit,Rhys345,2019/01/02,"I never really write creative stuff because I have an expressive language disorder, but I tried writing a poem about mania From the depths comes a glimmer Intoxicating, yet foreboding It takes hold, thrusts you from the deep Brings you to the sky to see all that lies below All that has been missing Feelings are blessed, colors are sacred The fire is painful and beautiful It’s too much It’s interminable As the flames spread you want nothing but peace A return to the earth",4.958879310344827,7.63372585057472,4.655847701149425,81.05204741379312,72.10344827586206,7.5683908045976995,30.415229885057467,8.472884824447931,2.59146091954023,387,17,65,7,8,118,66,87,0.205,0.6759999999999999,0.119,-0.7738,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,3,0,0,3,3,0,0,10,0,6,2,0,0,3,12,13,4,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,1,4,6,1,8,12,3,9,1,1,2,0,6,4,0,0,3,45,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19673402636333145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780044685613616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3698780701004332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16318265999356965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372446652060635,0.0,0.2489103013472869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096694200939803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434088947455809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067499572420076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571750898690949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3694501658383413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426537995483793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219113391858632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903553030938325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,playingtricksonme,2019/01/02,"Great, drug prices go up I saw on the news that drug prices are going up including generics. Boo! ",0.576666666666668,3.046924210526317,1.1642105263157916,97.99614035087721,96.36842105263159,4.63859649122807,16.859649122807017,6.42735559955562,-0.18606666666666705,76,2,16,1,3,23,16,19,0.0,0.795,0.205,0.6588,0,0,2,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,3,3,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8258763757920099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4047354066193444,0.0,0.0,0.3925779700101994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Reaper_of_Souls,2019/01/02,"Happy New Years!!! Wow. I can't believe the way this year is beginning for me so far, and I'm hoping many of you are thinking the same. We might be naively optimistic, but I'm not lying when I say things are looking pretty good for me right now. So, I'm asking you guys... do any of you have any resolutions, plans, hopes, desires for the new year? Personal, social, political, global? Just what WILL this year be? And make sure we talk about how we will manage to stay healthy this year. Because we will.",1.5293939393939409,3.9559849696969698,2.8189898989899014,90.8818181818182,83.14141414141416,5.62020202020202,21.12121212121212,6.980632752743323,0.5367696969696971,388,12,80,5,11,125,69,99,0.0,0.723,0.277,0.9845,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,4,3,0,1,7,6,0,0,3,0,12,0,0,2,1,18,22,7,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,2,5,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,11,6,7,16,1,15,0,0,1,0,13,3,0,3,10,49,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22395449825645405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393872549052562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003777200509246,0.0,0.0,0.1855200770720853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13811245259757707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304336864651564,0.0,0.1752880191517412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32709725354504365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13827639026088262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991457967520794,0.16694357404811147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746826111545984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180672690786614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437783594189632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16752260928836832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14062225996977276,0.0,0.1309475184745673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16785433512987485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755100441584509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15519398570369328,0.0,0.0,0.13235078341869178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093955254892416,0.10551012015004688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13070271508674786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5301914772953193 bipolarreddit,Little_Menace_Child,2019/01/02,"Productivity and decision making when hypomanic. What helps maintain a semblance of productivity when you are hypomanic, how do you stop doing half jobs/ getting distracted? Also, what helps you with making day to day decisions? I sometimes spend hours doing the grocery shopping because every item I weigh up whether cost, nutrition, or other reasons are the most important. ",10.248,12.4099458,9.92666666666667,50.61000000000002,57.66666666666666,12.0,45.0,11.698219412168324,6.519000000000001,308,18,35,9,4,100,47,60,0.07200000000000001,0.809,0.119,0.4684,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,0,4,1,0,1,3,0,5,1,0,4,0,12,8,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,1,3,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,0,4,8,2,7,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,6,30,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315700181247722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17651994181387956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3734989917508915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439762610345148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15128902267022798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3881870000915335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28516934432137603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28735477675038906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3865821060474669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2977274654624139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2863933632943645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420945249939598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,cbudryk,2019/01/02,How did you know it was time to seek inpatient care? [CW suicidal ideation] I’m in the pits. This has been the hardest month I’ve had in years. The intrusive thoughts are occurring regularly and I’ve started disassociating occasionally. But I don’t want to take someone else’s space in the hospital if my case isn’t as bad. I don’t know. I’m all over the fucking place. ,1.4574624624624626,4.040689581081082,3.562612612612611,84.16512012012012,85.62162162162161,7.613213213213212,27.141141141141144,8.515128840125781,2.3057015015015008,295,14,62,8,9,100,56,74,0.111,0.831,0.059,-0.6969,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,5,0,9,1,0,1,1,9,19,5,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,5,0,4,1,7,14,1,10,0,0,0,1,1,6,1,1,4,32,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524438518741282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30825893110251656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25256885648078936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27951131548148944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323197114125841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24132737049352884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3158841793586572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561743196289403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21399999576488327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307142689813145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22732437716158035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400266419828781,0.1762986875791426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17832978834762422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19469903771781905 bipolarreddit,JanusOf_Oz,2019/01/03,"How FMT cured my Bipolar 1 Disorder (fecal microbiota transplant) Hi all. I experimented with home FMT under the guidance of my excellent psychiatrist. It was a phenomenal success. After 18 years of hell: continuous unrelenting and completely debilitating depression, interdispersed with frequent psychotic/ manic episodes. I had been hospitalised over a dozen times and had extremely low functionality. Then in November 2016 I started home FMT. No improvement for 3 months, then I experienced an exponential decrease in all my symptoms. Within 6 months I was 100% symptom free, and was so well my psychiatrist agreed to take me off all medication. That was 14 months ago and I'm still 100% symptom free. No depression in any level for 19 months, no mania for 14 months. My intense anxiety and social phobia has completely disappeared. My stress tolerance is still increasing. I am now a highly functioning completely well person. It was miraculous. There is currently a clinical trial underway in Canada headed by Dr Valerie Taylor of the Womens College Hospital trialling FMT for bipolar depression. My psychiatrist is soon to write my case study up in the Australian New Zealand journal of psychiatry and ill soon be featured in a feature length documentary. Here is a link to my story on Australian National TV. since then (June 2017) I've also been able to lose 18kgs. The weight was a side effect of the anti psychotics I was on which I am gratefully no longer on. Targeting the microbiome to treat mood disorders is the medicine of the future... the near future. https://youtu.be/GMjy5yEhZ5Q",6.270441412520063,9.72489809737828,6.7349210807918665,63.760744382022466,71.77153558052434,10.406046013911183,35.378410914927784,10.290406445055957,5.079933226324238,1300,69,178,44,28,421,166,267,0.159,0.727,0.113,-0.917,1,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,0,4,12,15,1,1,17,0,20,11,1,2,3,15,23,12,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,0,2,2,4,8,1,0,2,1,2,2,4,7,2,1,11,2,18,9,34,11,4,47,1,5,0,0,5,20,1,0,25,122,22,3,0.11610274240385322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291807590239743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284732115359594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895384616730182,0.0,0.08881828015176707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3651945493899826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2999973657162714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661276029293917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357076044054708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915490934834788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266892183256065,0.2329210341401023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12988927081856053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696129834388362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4633605065099088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213275209562223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137643637550564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960413882891026,0.0,0.0,0.11835212471761047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217811865098296,0.0,0.18543960011948712,0.0,0.1329952991533943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3620256129110798,0.08729481312312555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770044276920856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14138186198698066,0.20878061759977504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747663595301467 bipolarreddit,GuyFromTheBayou,2019/01/03,"20 days. My birthday is in 20 days and I'll be turning 21. I absolutely dread the day. I have no plan for my life, my meds aren't working, and everyone keeps telling me to push on and keep fighting. I'm just so tired of fighting though. My mom tells me things will get better but I just don't see it happening. Anytime I pick myself up and get better and I eventually fall even lower than the last time. I tell her what happens when I'm 50? 60? I'll still have to get up in the morning and take medicines I hate and live my life as a lie to stop everyone around me from feeling bad. I know I should check into a hospital at some point but now isn't the right time so I'll just continue to be a sad loser. ",1.3969433198380583,2.8671151315789523,3.1765789473684234,93.11336032388668,78.60526315789474,6.519028340080973,23.534412955465587,7.321109707123232,0.7102827935222664,548,18,130,7,13,183,96,152,0.214,0.7390000000000001,0.047,-0.979,1,0,0,0,4,0,13.0,0,0,0,5,12,9,3,1,7,0,10,3,0,1,0,22,25,14,0,1,5,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,9,0,3,2,0,1,2,4,7,0,0,0,2,19,2,17,21,1,23,0,2,1,0,7,10,0,1,11,77,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181586657191774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363430409045813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26191608396149785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864834261118365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780045144483987,0.0,0.0,0.28297912769620964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486987576062895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320852184606988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618799429099261,0.0,0.0,0.14619088095505328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632271799570269,0.0,0.0,0.08137674170120568,0.12069880320581293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20917588963165853,0.0,0.0,0.13075067910999125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644751025333874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17342065447566635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13997631894479395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264530564246539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799456528032125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182508434642064,0.1237951917675588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133204855067093,0.0,0.3882655226281582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837275094475988,0.0,0.14548042247249476,0.0,0.17268446340912627,0.17018748975727793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106029683757256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779850131942124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,PryceTheHippo,2019/01/03,"I’m becoming hopeless Everytime my pdoc prescribes me a new med I immediately get online to see what side effects are the most common for a lot of people, if they liked it, how long it took to work, etc. I know it’s anecdotal information but it eases my anxiety about new meds. And everytime I look there are people who say it doesn’t work, it made things worse, but then there are also a lot of people that say it’s their miracle drug and it gave them their life back. I know everyone is different and it takes time to find the right combo of meds but I’m so tired of getting my hopes up thinking “maybe this time this one will work” and so far it never has. People sing praises for Lamictal from the mountain tops and I’ve been on it for months and the only effect it’s had is making me stupid. Rexulti made my existing sleep problems worse and unbearable hand tremors. SSRI’s didn’t work for obvious reasons. Latuda made me hypomanic. I’ve been on 450mg of Wellbutrin daily for three years and it doesn’t even keep me afloat anymore. I want to die every day and everything makes me cry. So now I’m on Lamictal, Wellbutrin, and I’m starting lithium but I don’t want to take it in the first place because I doubt it’ll work and it’s incredibly high maintenance compared to every other option It seems. But I’m taking it. Because I have to. And it’s not going to work again just like nothing else has. I’m going to be anxious and suicidal until I die which might be sooner rather than later if I can never find any reprieve from this awful disease ",3.4235576923076962,5.0651392147435885,4.707969230769233,83.53703076923078,73.51923076923076,7.6843076923076925,26.26205128205128,8.364918446050245,1.7652457435897442,1233,43,242,21,25,408,174,312,0.166,0.738,0.096,-0.9817,1,0,1,0,0,2,21.0,0,0,4,11,14,8,1,1,8,1,21,5,2,9,3,53,52,27,3,7,10,0,1,2,0,3,3,2,0,0,28,13,0,1,10,1,0,3,7,4,0,3,9,5,23,4,29,38,4,33,1,1,2,0,10,11,0,10,21,152,51,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071876071771978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06112068978712702,0.0,0.06875706266518182,0.1015375004081358,0.08913565302613533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911127612446294,0.0,0.10957860702125613,0.09926411169078712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987276797180542,0.05796441299966518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18656008111092245,0.0939042527026819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423091380587793,0.0,0.07508223353240699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002386592753544,0.05936412276313718,0.0,0.15145358963807673,0.08588307838966318,0.08077730135904307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16429525355477614,0.07645089102448713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391596321332636,0.0,0.10216042622861517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949619237289843,0.0,0.08926996296030726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988843811409531,0.0,0.0,0.0987901142182174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348407910052332,0.08782051752283894,0.0,0.0,0.07953994053659523,0.0754755847265109,0.0,0.0,0.1528235426152263,0.0,0.2551365801955423,0.11998964039057408,0.0,0.09029537016185914,0.0,0.29950537141779465,0.0,0.0,0.09534724036093664,0.0,0.0,0.07174042849790159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13864019660993693,0.1736110775728549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624116610186762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06090422458939695,0.06835690401287628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249242669188338,0.0,0.0939042527026819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600190656732813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241041154358468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675603388805358,0.0,0.1429505139193597,0.0,0.0,0.07162179473818342,0.08182231565128373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899437442881021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361670192371954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831285742089492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027330947862088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059711504163413184,0.05759072823541887,0.0,0.0,0.10481814279648416,0.10330249897056333,0.0,0.0,0.0998586926100759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060257309714624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3925971734159701,0.0,0.18318842258928109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05787902286193429 bipolarreddit,sleepybook,2019/01/03,"I CAN'T. STOP. MASTURBATING. I'm wasting so much time on this and it's really cutting into important things I just went two hours and bled, y'all. I'm sure I'll come back to it in several hours :(",0.3612195121951203,2.6762851219512207,2.8616585365853666,89.15102439024393,88.02439024390246,7.182439024390242,20.39512195121951,8.238735603445708,1.2538448780487808,154,5,34,4,5,53,33,41,0.171,0.6709999999999999,0.157,-0.1528,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,7,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,1,0,3,1,4,4,1,10,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,5,19,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255553172251851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25268079429312923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5777487229083966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21563383767280708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187916919775878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3313833052881919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24523989942051194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27646330586299417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948777105391104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710450940512094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28654415835486435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719230476174183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ClitCum,2019/01/03,"Affording Meds Yet again I’m in the position where I can’t afford my meds. I’m on Invega and it’ll be over $1000 to fill this months prescription. Nothing else works as well. I go completely nuts and end up in the psych ward if I don’t take it. I really want to take it. I don’t know where the money for it will come from. I’m so sick of this happening over and over again.",-0.2487684069611795,1.67667759036145,2.223534136546185,95.54673360107095,86.34939759036146,7.062382864792503,16.451137884872825,8.167268648758528,0.3604495314591691,292,6,73,7,9,100,55,83,0.08900000000000001,0.862,0.048,-0.6299,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,7,1,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,0,0,7,16,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,1,0,1,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,13,13,0,17,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,1,5,44,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21822419506877333,0.26561513152828226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21162745425220905,0.0,0.22437809895865488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14397514505712478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240217890280538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13922534928494476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5627923438607936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20220821272479306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430801212913126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16229179060725035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3809502081808207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494225362983875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22777704909733276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18442965010440612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,BitchfulThinking,2019/01/03,"Antipsychs and binge eating?? Seroquel and now Abilify, which I take before bedtime. Is this just me or does everyone get intense munchies from these types of meds? Does anything help to decrease the urge to eat a billion chips and crackers at night once they start kicking in? I would like to not have to choose between being stable or wearing only spandex and capes from now on. ",6.289565217391306,8.045835927536235,5.354318840579712,81.25408695652175,66.53623188405797,7.259130434782609,35.53913043478261,7.554174236665415,2.723664347826088,305,15,50,3,5,91,58,69,0.0,0.865,0.135,0.8253,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,4,3,1,0,0,10,7,6,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,11,5,0,7,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,5,35,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20621489114054448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132343288681648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4385874263184049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5128339328852187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23945026502385724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092335942692804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679657427909545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242601563468802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27834990666679643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351625068040337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668710423149046,0.0,0.19058560881841474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17736947046150375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884131084022998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17801252700153372,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,positivetalk,2019/01/03,"We just made a website for free advice! Hello everyone, we are a small team of individuals offering free help. Check us out. &#x200B; [https://positivetalk.godaddysites.com/](https://positivetalk.godaddysites.com/)",16.7374,23.21132264,11.863500000000005,21.13925000000004,62.6,8.9,30.25,8.841846274778883,4.155200000000002,186,6,17,4,4,53,22,25,0.0,0.6759999999999999,0.324,0.8622,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,4,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,0,10,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.329664250156924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3655293776000773,0.40992927940458745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32236190068813825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22612527111294836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31921815282301186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40580249593926265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40992927940458745,0.0 bipolarreddit,healthierlurker,2019/01/03,"I feel euphoria. I was diagnosed BP1 almost 10 years ago but if you go through my comment history you can see some of my backstory with this disorder. Since November I have spent almost every moment outside of class and work in my room. I stopped reaching out to friends and would just lay in my bed trying to drown my life out with movies. I’d go to bed at 7pm every night and just wake up early just so I had more time awake to lay in bed and do nothing. I was doing great at work and finished my semester strong but it took the life out of me basically. New Years Eve I finally decided to go out with friends after not drinking since October. (I wasn’t drinking on purpose because of my depressed mood). I didn’t over do it but I was definitely drunk and didn’t get home til 4am. The next morning I woke up around 11 and it was like a switch was flipped. Instead of wanting to be sedentary in my room all day I suddenly couldn’t sit still and had motivation and energy. That night I couldn’t get to sleep until after 3am and had racing thoughts all night. I didn’t feel terrible though thankfully, just restless. This isn’t my first rodeo so I picked up the signs that I’m going into an up swing and notified my doctor and preemptively took an extra dose of my antipsychotic (I’m allowed to add doses as needed) and took a small dose of Ativan (.25mg). Today i haven’t taken any extra doses but man do I feel incredible. Not out of control though by any means. I won’t let it get that far. But I went months living like an empty shell and now I feel a fire in my soul. I’m going on an overnight trip with a female friend from school tonight. Wish me luck guys. ",2.7459147869674183,4.3334669707602345,4.147840434419384,87.07960526315792,75.19883040935673,7.341854636591477,25.37218045112781,8.07648339933343,1.41345664160401,1312,45,277,21,28,434,184,342,0.098,0.767,0.135,0.9227,1,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,0,6,12,13,0,1,11,0,26,13,2,4,2,63,55,27,1,7,12,0,5,2,3,2,8,0,6,2,9,26,3,2,8,3,1,10,11,3,0,1,20,6,36,9,49,29,6,63,1,1,1,0,8,25,0,5,29,171,45,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086514188259127,0.0,0.2052893567475796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13941481846146808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125182924377996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062486539575779314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11496888873882595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610771363771394,0.0,0.08828803220814206,0.1040411548772598,0.0,0.0,0.11748044348393122,0.10491895482239888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20083317566688288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17273099156987326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20731990149863894,0.0,0.0,0.11229001316529297,0.0,0.08719131877043358,0.0,0.0,0.2375870105281426,0.0,0.16066503430697684,0.0,0.2912818336600382,0.0,0.0,0.1130129255695723,0.0,0.10149678536561893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282160169148316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481905053161047,0.14480565245284613,0.1001582406078918,0.0,0.09051443467273032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165878696555263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181909309447448,0.0,0.0,0.07600669750661572,0.0,0.09900066960556927,0.10901600325317673,0.2885840417536196,0.0,0.09835700936845024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10374126794530623,0.08168379272292994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695875927911136,0.0,0.10257975511519403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818612057588791,0.08569937742821697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437350107150293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20142271207586568,0.08137809700320672,0.0597719135710648,0.0,0.09716344323657657,0.0,0.3416629021331518,0.06959465978026455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06046053344257296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502383561672194,0.0,0.0,0.11787652689919675,0.0,0.0,0.1492507797575085,0.0,0.0,0.07281712721845163,0.0,0.0,0.13202065443186847 bipolarreddit,RecycledAccount1,2019/01/03,"Does anyone have a sudden problem with worrying about what to do with their time, or worrying about time, and how much there is, in general? I'm struggling greatly with anxiety over time itself. I'm coming out of a manic episode. Before and during the episode, I had no problem getting up early, because I didn't worry about what to do with my time and any extra time. Now I have overwhelming dread over time, as if I had something very specific and difficult to worry about, but its just simply the passage of time. It feels like I'm in jail, although I don't know what that is actually like. Can anyone else relate to this?",6.481038961038959,6.541471082644629,6.852255017709568,76.7230578512397,65.44628099173553,9.558913813459268,32.98819362455726,9.23628265651192,2.898890436835891,495,19,90,8,7,161,75,121,0.134,0.785,0.081,-0.3453,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,0,8,9,0,3,4,0,11,0,0,1,0,20,18,10,0,3,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,10,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,3,1,7,3,21,15,2,17,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,2,12,66,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.13591707060059158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471509387284596,0.0,0.1065487262567748,0.0,0.0,0.19477545971753427,0.1427086954338215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490372152720613,0.0,0.11851691863409752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119977283128752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188476075785627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635046695272487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07042409174595711,0.09950157343145756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276798824497586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15355655836722132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07654457904905998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13609022722268901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10238673685898413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665440682079415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072244555012982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560557049967554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5685065227819249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492048679524172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5657819119754472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,cozmiksoup,2019/01/03,diagnosed later in life Has anyone else been diagnosed bipolar after the age of 35?,7.421999999999998,8.8820352,8.353333333333339,61.89000000000002,63.66666666666666,11.333333333333336,35.0,11.20814326018867,4.8450000000000015,68,3,9,2,1,23,14,15,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26703802700385804,0.39130852028492497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7752544723124971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190340218535879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697519789467825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,00WELVAERT,2019/01/03,"Adderall combating the negative sides of lamictal. Lamictal was causing me to sleep all day and be a lazy slum who sat on his phone all day and didnt have any motivation to engage in productive activities (as seen in my recent post). But I was sane and safe so it needed to be this way. I've convinced my doc to give me an adderall script because im genuinely afraid that my lamictal brain is not adequate for passing my January exams. Adderall is making me sleep 6 hours a night which makes me feel amazing. I used to sleep 6 hours back before I was medicated, and it feels just so fucking good. for some reason, the less I sleep, the better I feel. I haven't felt this fucking energized in a while. I only took 20mg 2 days ago, and 10mg yesterday. Im making this post because: 1) I was wondering if any of you have a similar situation where less sleep makes you feel better? And if you have any similar medication history and if you can provide any insight into this situation to me? How did these realizations help you and what were your next steps? 2) If I told my doctor that adderall was making me sleep less, would she take it away from me? I only take it to study, but I fucking love sleeping 6 hours. I felt well rested when I woke up today for the first time in like 6 months. Im wondering if I can tell her this information or if she would be worried about it triggering mania. She mentioned to me that she wanted to do a ""sleep test"" on me. thanks for reading, any input is appreciated.",4.2681575583253455,5.3376246812080534,5.743614573346118,79.15851230425058,70.64429530201343,9.166123362096515,29.291147331415786,9.48565724429506,2.587714733141578,1177,45,233,26,21,399,157,298,0.033,0.8340000000000001,0.133,0.9827,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,6,0,4,9,16,3,1,10,0,23,16,9,11,2,49,52,23,0,10,11,0,6,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,17,9,0,1,12,1,0,3,4,4,1,1,15,7,40,12,27,32,7,35,0,0,1,4,21,11,3,10,19,153,57,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662730328198678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542075720140089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702424524491392,0.05748825729414361,0.0,0.09114986016213973,0.0,0.06361794492650175,0.0,0.0,0.13224388376303628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08346041528275132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07680236259725963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446481648997904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652326505312197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15121000585664007,0.0,0.1435687213241782,0.0,0.0,0.06359350803575403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20735201771288725,0.0,0.07171963819554324,0.0,0.06270779379394434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05011217204627707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208799662263883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422711355542144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03652550488263065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06747667332361239,0.0,0.24952495837952854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063204195829671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05967524321866265,0.0,0.0,0.05543593785276176,0.0,0.0,0.07951147174594121,0.07016016363803543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11372150844519938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14320488692009192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478339471584003,0.0,0.0,0.07686898308617474,0.0738196037127856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680738547519631,0.5985372464338363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242518798349124,0.0,0.06534629955649028,0.0688318755053396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043595001424417655,0.0,0.07086673645246022,0.07143940590514496,0.08306462470011948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457136817783563,0.0,0.0,0.044097250432115695,0.0593435186459952,0.0,0.0,0.06722106200014882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16215492162187253,0.0,0.0759256208550071,0.0,0.10621921150428544,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,donut-call-list,2019/01/03,Wish I had someone to talk to who just got it I’ve just come down from a really terrible manic episode where I was almost hospitalized. Unfortunately it happened in front of my friends. And while they’re all here for me and want to support me (and I love and appreciate them so much for it) it’s hard because I just don’t quite get how to make them understand this feeling ,4.784399999999998,5.589318640000003,5.678666666666667,81.06600000000002,69.26666666666667,9.2,31.0,9.3871,2.5529999999999995,298,12,62,6,5,98,57,75,0.085,0.6890000000000001,0.226,0.8863,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,2,1,7,4,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,2,1,16,14,7,0,2,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,2,9,3,10,11,2,6,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,1,1,43,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265601797865892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16168921289136318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284827110636841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411445055849774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20492550335004575,0.0,0.13857812745284598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121384565910227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345528445108272,0.0,0.2376049559089688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393914851611422,0.0,0.17705126061792534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949835719266972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821177807597593,0.0,0.0,0.16992097640519774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22473889654289025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30099376051236565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21319167227216212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761265351215636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15644675044720846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050154958506681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,CarefulShape,2019/01/03,otc lithium vs carbonate have you noticed a huge difference between over the counter lithium that is low dosage (5mg) vs lithium carbonate which is prescribed at higher dosages like 800mg..,8.942727272727273,10.023509484848486,7.293484848484847,72.16022727272728,60.21212121212122,10.236363636363636,49.83333333333334,10.125756701596842,5.687133333333334,155,11,23,3,2,46,27,33,0.062,0.7959999999999999,0.142,0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,3,0,4,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,11,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6446776052312571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30145557468014705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7025064567728571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,alaskajefferson,2019/01/03,"Vitamin D and B-12 Deficiency Sorry about lack of clarity, I’m not exactly sure how to phrase this because I’m confused myself, and I am on mobile. I sought out treatment after I was having some pretty concerning suicidal thoughts the past year. I reached out the a therapist at my University, and immediately was referred to a psychiatrist under the guise of maybe benefitting from mood stabilizers. Before my psychiatry appointment, I researched into mood stabilizers and saw they were used in treating bipolar. Read up on bipolar and really identified/ understood why she would recommend me to the psychiatrist assuming she thought I could have bipolar. Met with the psychiatrist, and not to my surprise she said she was sure I was bipolar. However she wanted me to get bloodwork before starting me on lithium to see my levels in various things. She said she was going to diagnose me official with unspecified mood disorder until she saw my results regarding my thyroid. I was pretty bummed hearing this news, she essentially told me I had bipolar disorder but lacked whether it was I or II, so I still felt lost but like I was on the right track. Well, my blood work came back and everything was normal except I had extremely low vitamin D and B-12. My psychiatrist called me and gave me dosage for otc vitamins. I read into the situation wrong and assumed she was just reducing my issues down to deficiencies. I know these two deficiencies do not explain mania. Maybe vitamin D explains psychosis, but I don’t experience this. I felt like everyone was so sure I was bipolar and led me on to thinking I had a solution, and I think this issue runs deeper than just supplements. I know many mental illnesses have links to vitamin deficiencies, and I guess my confusion comes from whether or not anyone else experienced this along with being bipolar. I have an appointment on Thursday, first one since bloodwork, and was wondering if I should mention the bipolar diagnosis if she doesn’t. TLDR; is my doctor reducing her diagnosis to needing vitamin d and b-12? Can this and bipolar coincide? 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I want to know how long each state usually lasts for you or what time or thing typically triggers you to switch. For me I can’t even tell yet I was only recently diagnosed and I am learning myself.,3.2712244897959195,5.899459387755108,4.366693877551022,81.21044897959185,77.57142857142857,7.185306122448982,26.126530612244892,8.238735603445708,2.0582538775510204,206,8,36,4,5,67,40,49,0.0,0.971,0.029,0.0772,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,3,0,11,6,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,8,0,5,5,1,7,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,6,30,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3616713012800749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353551110131785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958317348645381,0.2904596022614852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31534419551124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27100790820508514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518366342523639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31145144298329763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23673233995585294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20778110149536752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3924513328660964,0.0,0.21017490465248828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,mermaidbipolarbear,2019/01/04,"Latuda side effects My doctor increased my Latuda to 80 mg. Since then, I've been getting drowsiness spells. I'm not sleepy per se. It feels like I'm paralyzed. I get super anxious. Can't sleep but can't function either. I can't drive. It needs to be taken with food. Ive been trying to take it with dinner but then I'm useless at home. Does anyone else have this side effect or something like it? ",0.5103367003367012,2.9746667901234574,1.9953984287317643,93.87202020202022,90.97530864197529,3.439281705948373,18.47474747474748,4.851557810540192,-0.4667629629629633,314,9,62,1,11,101,56,81,0.066,0.821,0.114,0.4215,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,8,4,1,2,0,11,17,5,0,1,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,5,2,2,0,3,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,3,1,5,3,6,13,2,7,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,4,30,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970701664657016,0.0,0.18386787922946432,0.26943379022257946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691508974119421,0.23011823464247425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21966949673208264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296057331625616,0.18785881253591966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31797250597592835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747716923641551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637705113955997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25693813275635285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949816491963022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21752338682235275,0.0,0.2631500970657541,0.0,0.0,0.20243960161253266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19771333735209232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17853270809497304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Vibron83,2019/01/04,"I slept through the daylight. I woke up at midnight last night and couldn't sleep till ~8. Once I fell asleep, I stayed asleep until around 20 minutes ago (EST). I completely slept through the sunlight. I'm struggling to get on a regular schedule, I guess I'm depressed. I really have no clue how to get out of this funk, I take my medicine, I have sleep medication, and I have morning classes starting in three days. I'm losing my mind here. Please give suggestions. ",2.495056179775279,5.186975415730341,2.7304382022471927,91.33857865168541,81.35955056179776,5.807191011235956,28.00112359550561,7.1686216300943375,1.5321811235955058,368,17,72,5,10,112,64,89,0.136,0.8370000000000001,0.028,-0.835,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,3,0,4,7,6,1,0,8,16,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,3,0,12,0,13,12,0,16,0,2,0,0,2,6,0,1,8,39,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18923672511646167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900420443880678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238292284129666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376766378673824,0.0,0.18386960869585608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22306848958105086,0.2047890202271443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351717731592235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17401431188036107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23882899113640554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21505817000461808,0.0,0.0,0.21555347184829815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20033607993441105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22734873510227985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343364201989583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13676045510047194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4272674101214829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511019120148726,0.227540777497566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231751589490477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16051004073123168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,MAX-definitely-DOG,2019/01/04,"Jumped from stairs and sprained my ankle after many weeks of depression i ""finally"" got my manic episode today, when leaving school i though it would be great idea to jump from this high and long stairs so i would be home sooner. My plan went wrong and i fell straight on the ground. Nothing hurt me (at that moment) so i went happily home, after 30 minutes i noticed my right leg is bigger than my left (was pretty funny to me), fast forward i ended in hospital with pretty bad sprained ankle and for next month i will need crutches.",3.1102941176470584,5.567279049019611,3.3115294117647056,89.48788235294118,77.13725490196079,5.648627450980393,23.925490196078428,6.742157984588678,0.8368125490196072,421,14,79,4,10,129,75,102,0.08900000000000001,0.723,0.189,0.8923,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,1,0,7,1,1,0,0,9,11,8,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,4,0,0,4,0,15,1,13,2,0,29,0,2,0,0,0,12,0,0,13,47,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13812808234690008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424855886842379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14652287740970152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812217152093472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13231038599016992,0.18238840334266115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17478707020151504,0.3318818209002083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709744473115552,0.18675160788210085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17516767885457984,0.1797414053062714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464013430274566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16772119899296134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13204554857098216,0.0,0.0,0.1226650857122195,0.0,0.0,0.17593788207796507,0.0,0.0,0.1587356296269598,0.18834443642045068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33660586277106097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14127727995348374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674251341244984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16253524394362212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568093665913011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269887273869727,0.0,0.0,0.3067126272553675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23503505466189986,0.18087296934811545,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,maggie05mae18,2019/01/04,Question for Daylio users Is buying the premium app worth it? Right now the app doesn't seem to do enough to warrant paying for it. Is the premium version that much better?,3.766363636363636,6.097911090909093,4.075757575757578,85.43363636363638,74.45454545454545,6.824242424242425,26.15151515151515,7.793537801064563,1.6248060606060617,138,5,25,2,3,43,25,33,0.0,0.853,0.147,0.6322,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,5,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,17,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3877235756946015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4529778514324645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222697898910312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4911012418381799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3743857990919362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3990971325242781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,beast-freak,2019/01/04,"The mood tracker Dalio is getting a lot of love over at r/dataisbeautiful. Link to post included in the comments below. The mood tracker Dalio is getting a lot of love over at r/dataisbeautiful. I've linked to [one of the positive reviews] but the entire thread is worth skimming. The data presented is also interesting. As an aside I agree with Liz Millar (a doctor who suffered from bipolar disorder and wrote a book on mood tracking) that an additional axis giving energy levels would be useful. Feel free to comment. What is your favorite mood tracker? What features do you look for and how could they be improved? ",5.608740079365077,7.808488187500004,6.015119047619049,74.1021031746032,68.91071428571429,8.192063492063493,32.98015873015873,8.841846274778883,3.1467825396825404,495,23,78,9,9,159,78,112,0.057,0.659,0.284,0.984,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,1,0,2,9,0,0,12,0,10,4,0,2,0,15,19,6,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,4,5,17,14,2,10,0,1,1,2,10,8,0,2,1,55,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20386522543250354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20353866122292752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921687082132417,0.2609288370769263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288988745944742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663779271763142,0.2445494422768037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21407468042680336,0.0,0.0,0.43346005420949196,0.4601635826157559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17274529853410694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441498319619065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22017528911518025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810930003692422,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,lostnfound21,2019/01/04,"Bipolar documentary and how it made me feel I just finished watching a documentary about Mauro Ranallo called Bipolar Rock N Roller. For anyone who doesn’t know, Mauro is an insanely successful play-by-play announcer and has called some of the biggest fights in boxing, kickboxing, MMA, and professional wrestling. The documentary is a brutally honest look at his life and struggles with bipolar disorder. I also work in broadcasting (radio) and the documentary hit me pretty hard. Hearing him talk about everything and seeing the things he’s gone through (and still goes through) was a little weird for me because I kept saying over and over, “That’s me. I do that. That happens to me, too.” It was a relief in a way because it was a reminder that I’m not the only one, but it was also uncomfortable to watch at times because I felt like I was watching myself. I can’t tell if I feel better or worse after seeing it. Has anyone else ever watched something like this and felt that way? Has a movie or documentary about bipolar disorder ever made you uncomfortable or even triggered an episode? Also, does anyone have any recommendations for similar documentaries or specials? Thanks. ",6.831816745655607,8.596964251184836,6.8969478672985804,70.66918167456556,65.25592417061611,9.418135860979463,34.91974723538705,9.725611199111238,3.7065675197472343,951,44,149,20,15,304,123,211,0.116,0.779,0.105,0.1497,0,0,1,0,2,0,27.0,0,1,0,3,13,12,2,1,14,0,14,5,0,4,2,31,31,19,0,1,8,0,5,2,0,0,5,2,0,0,13,10,0,1,5,3,0,1,3,4,0,1,11,14,17,8,20,19,1,18,0,0,7,0,12,9,0,6,8,106,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084198480706884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742285340766533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696691588326403,0.13172136404846982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351006148228976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369780975327455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26254119508708296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946738575512852,0.0,0.11250069167082646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10739249047228802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491038010322714,0.2325734950516496,0.0,0.0,0.11553832589215557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300040953839956,0.0,0.24686887134813415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368212091758438,0.0,0.11516140588529004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14489256016513735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07065131057507076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080328380218296,0.12561246046672495,0.12884742287608592,0.0,0.0,0.10795511311119546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432866069525901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711323639720737,0.09777303920706344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13078821482313818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223331793577613,0.0,0.0,0.20488583109900865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989691027239127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026654163425413,0.0,0.0,0.13439520486799614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332887463552888,0.11236407951187256,0.1183575869594152,0.0,0.0,0.08540725069383484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496235042565523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040843901769374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359068988298858,0.0,0.1310100938796763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,grey_rain,2019/01/04,"On Therapy My therapist is very talented. In fact, she was booked for the entire month of December and for all but the last week of this month. That means it'll be almost two months between appointments, when I'm used to seeing her twice a month. This has never happened in our quite lengthy time together, and I'm scheduled through March from here on out. Therapy is an interesting thing for me. Because I come from a very traumatic background, therapy has been a godsend for PTSD-related issues. What I'd never noticed before, though, is how much it helps me regulate my mood in between sessions. Knowing I'll have someone to help me sort through random thoughts and make sense of any major shifts or psychotic issues allows me to keep the jumble in the background. It's like static; I can tolerate the static when I know there will eventually be someone who can help me understand how the radio works. (bad example but best I can do.) My therapist, pdoc, and I constantly assess whether therapy is beneficial to me, because it has been ongoing for quite some time. We were all of the understanding that, yes, in fact, I get a great deal of benefit from therapy. Now I'm one month into not having therapy, and things are falling absolutely apart. Suspicion confirmed. I will go on through this month doing the best I can, and I will try not to break any more aspects of life. Then, I will spend a couple of sessions picking up the pieces and hoping this sort of break in our therapy journey does not happen again anytime soon.",7.588776315789473,7.646151042105267,7.54564692982456,72.69004934210527,63.140350877192965,11.195175438596491,37.46162280701755,10.820120047756994,4.1767938596491225,1217,56,213,29,16,391,162,285,0.036000000000000004,0.782,0.182,0.9939,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,3,0,0,5,10,10,0,0,15,1,27,1,0,6,6,43,46,17,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,0,14,11,0,1,6,2,1,4,5,1,0,3,5,1,24,8,38,34,9,40,0,0,1,0,10,13,0,7,22,155,38,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015082080179735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886304393617313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683199333890735,0.09758610997492458,0.0,0.06811011842402104,0.0,0.16799895200793993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894937074191361,0.0,0.08649731172919528,0.0,0.0,0.08856530399986982,0.0,0.0,0.08252011666707736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07004557311290645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041818808267743465,0.0,0.045489894697680035,0.0,0.0,0.08824693972568015,0.0,0.0,0.14156231742400682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16095203844607425,0.0,0.0,0.0795000836359612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670867716368683,0.0,0.07114529121560002,0.0,0.0,0.08797833092242399,0.06524517342664883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05653625733313746,0.039104634170865696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05342886974614868,0.0,0.0,0.08718955104941252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3833340942371939,0.0,0.05884031455495655,0.0,0.12346714236564475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112871116721408,0.0,0.0,0.054238747144919365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09356518804268202,0.0,0.0,0.1702697185965096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637833654571467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13563919498088653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6407475760326109,0.18587060419657486,0.10635312074972222,0.0,0.07864117242500482,0.06354466079910115,0.09334664026456244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054343480764750415,0.0,0.07818971546139535,0.16665375470330548,0.0,0.06913086454575743,0.0,0.13208659244905727,0.0,0.0,0.06420512055383762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058271761831187235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,lost_frisson,2019/01/04,"How much value do you place on having sex? I've been realizing that my hyper sexuality has affected how much value I put on having sex. When I was growing up I used to put so much priority on having sex. It would constantly be on my mind and I would feel like I was missing out on such a massive part of existence if I wasn't able to regularly have it. Haha, that sounds so dramatic. The older I get though the more I realize that the importance I was putting on sex is mostly based on the emotions created by the mania/hyper sexuality. When I step back for a moment and stop listening to my emotions and look at it logically I don't really care as much about it. I put more value on non-sexual intimacy like snuggling/holding hands/sleeping together, and the most value on having a verbal connection with someone where we can comfortably share our deepest fears and darkest secrets. Its confusing because my feelings and even my thoughts can be so drastically influenced/manipulated by the chemical reactions going on in my brain/body. So there are times where sex seems like the ultimate high. Then other times where I choose to not base my actions on achieving highs and chasing feelings and instead I do things that align with the values I have built over years based on logic and philosophy. How do you value sex, do you base a lot of your actions/decisions around it? Or maybe it just seems like a bonus to being alive but doesn't matter much? Do your feelings on it drastically change based on your mental state?",6.084676535087715,7.134543392361118,6.997273391812867,71.89348684210529,66.46527777777779,10.22982456140351,32.866228070175445,10.307518312809881,3.5533583333333336,1219,51,213,30,19,407,158,288,0.047,0.836,0.117,0.9257,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,2,6,0,2,21,12,0,2,14,1,28,6,0,5,0,46,42,24,0,3,5,0,4,4,0,2,0,2,0,0,14,14,0,1,13,0,1,8,4,3,0,0,6,7,30,9,34,31,11,46,0,1,1,6,11,26,0,8,15,164,44,1,0.11326966228491712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10083401399652543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709737857810965,0.0,0.06904813479789014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581705998103848,0.0,0.126446403636392,0.0,0.0,0.1154859697267382,0.0,0.1198242836762022,0.0,0.0,0.12240426514526033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548262487815776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07481354366756042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745986091114175,0.2290901784952107,0.08091986936869346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059178723510963586,0.0,0.06437375937691009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393512342800251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22135134208308335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511798862591464,0.0,0.0,0.09629781631318178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379460024258242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141491782743045,0.0,0.11437006935669253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4163311737689785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266000620655455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183426888690448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4554691835479627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256344609518428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20623289286637592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11335146428037965,0.0,0.09597301728006294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09469850954992637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525133053863982,0.0,0.11128686809344357,0.08992345951016956,0.1320969019376602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782862038617364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609270364436582,0.0,0.0,0.07294194881973218 bipolarreddit,scienceofspin,2019/01/05,"me: (to my boyfriend) ""Lets get married"" him: Yeah, someday. me: tomorrow? him: sweetie, I love you... but you're manic. &#x200B; &#x200B;",1.5096739130434784,0.7507662173913054,1.4355978260869584,89.89078804347827,147.69565217391303,2.889130434782609,33.309782608695656,5.148860815047168,2.1196130434782607,105,7,16,1,8,31,19,23,0.0,0.741,0.259,0.6486,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,10,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5019080538424888,0.5628735183745375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100892651394185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236841342070843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090409732645953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5628735183745375,0.0 bipolarreddit,TheeMightyCaesar,2019/01/05,"Did I, or didn’t I take my medication? That wonderful feeling (not!) when your reminder pops up to take medicine and you go to your little pill holder thing only to find that day’s pills missing. Did I already take them, or are my days goofed up? How often does this happen to you?",0.4894642857142877,2.9668590178571432,1.8900000000000008,93.98000000000002,92.75,4.228571428571429,19.5,5.985473137389443,-0.019957142857142784,219,7,45,2,8,70,41,56,0.038,0.856,0.105,0.5903,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,4,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,0,9,12,5,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,1,10,0,6,9,0,7,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,4,3,31,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835492904087377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33142132163025456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22485754726281287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299209879868967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23484646549865096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602987301533327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22721889525761305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25753010980433105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25884879248347964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19542107215534787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5795803557315856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17070530522307847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786499147949917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,yauc-OIC,2019/01/05,"Anyone here smoke to slowly kill themselves? Now for the past year I've been smoking cigarettes on and off (usually like 1 week on 2 or 3 weeks off) because I really enjoy it, I love everything about cigarettes. Now I'm thinking of just making the full commitment to becoming a smoker so I can slowly kill myself, because life is cool and all but I don't want to keep it going as long as I can, my hypomanic episode just ended and the reality of what my life is, is starting to sink in",9.227448979591838,5.970969602040817,9.979285714285718,67.1532142857143,62.163265306122454,13.4734693877551,39.80612244897959,11.698219412168324,4.514461224489796,383,15,74,9,4,133,69,98,0.07400000000000001,0.8190000000000001,0.107,0.2836,0,0,4,0,0,1,8.0,0,0,0,0,7,6,2,0,4,1,7,3,0,1,2,13,15,8,2,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,8,4,15,14,2,17,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,1,11,50,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14956349780972514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607822892491143,0.2362351830406257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894514606628791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19223907056685424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215640102880463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901236960594752,0.4732961908135512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3021670730947488,0.10450048702574466,0.0,0.0,0.1892943188796702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19305264219763785,0.0,0.1427795714776791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20419126778955887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13702949141129506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15139916095965664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13705815721715472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355800703033981,0.0,0.12616346198252545,0.0,0.34315453959272496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377442595023054 bipolarreddit,kidwoclaws,2019/01/05,Need help with partner I’m in a relationship now that started while I was manic. During mania I get the usual symptoms where I’m hypersexual and a dick to everyone. Now I’m still with her and she’s getting to know the real me where I actually have a low libido bc of all the meds I’m on. Now she thinks it’s bc I’m no longer attracted to her that I don’t really want to have sex. She also is still really into telling me about how much of a dick I was to her in the beginning. Idk I know I was terrible and I apologize for it all a lot and feel truly terrible but I don’t know what to do. I’m starting to think she’s just better off with someone else who hasn’t hurt her. I need advice from anyone for how to deal with having hurt a partner during a manic phase. By hurt I don’t mean physically but like emotionally and stuff. Thanks.,1.081784313725489,2.8989637666666717,3.879411764705885,86.10794117647059,80.77777777777777,7.124183006535947,21.1437908496732,8.124751697461798,1.0277418300653598,658,19,145,13,17,234,94,180,0.15,0.741,0.108,-0.8128,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,12,10,0,0,11,0,12,4,2,2,2,29,34,11,0,3,3,0,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,2,7,10,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,3,1,21,4,24,31,4,18,0,4,0,3,16,8,2,1,11,99,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.14502813825059313,0.0,0.0,0.14522619604151388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118848456821498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039160209049357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13143910144911178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15321695100724966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241499064994372,0.1671734122262303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420093096638957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514490173142876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15529183807120636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961441963136014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4772906912209196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24502700971129246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260645112859307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634832259221454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16188679453008667,0.1650792831105166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925013144115847,0.22039430942340354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691579645072442,0.19041490340382952,0.0,0.0,0.15955836248569427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592216741460724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21038286220463615,0.0,0.23737044896898624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17013018667348734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15446931187585994,0.0,0.0,0.12989725728442822,0.1368259855962845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904547371403307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16367993440203113,0.0,0.08765778512009825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,tromperie9,2019/01/05,Experiences with EFT (tapping)? I'm curious what experiences folks might have had with tapping AKA [Emotional Freedom Techniques](https://www.google.com/search?q=eft+tapping&oq=eft+tapping) (EFT). I'm intrigued but skeptical. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. ,11.625595238095233,16.50181608333334,8.049047619047624,46.51500000000002,82.6111111111111,12.057142857142857,49.587301587301596,9.606745405546679,8.588496825396826,233,16,22,9,7,66,29,36,0.079,0.6679999999999999,0.254,0.7615,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,6,8,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,9,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3391743670691233,0.0,0.2128752093492953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3521233580494765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6124185350897473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3451232868254699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33208171935564185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485156115709864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223717876177756,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,newguyhiguys,2019/01/05,"Was misdiagnosed and put on antidepressants, which lead to ""mania"". Not entirely sure of my ""proper"" diagnoses. I just didn't have a manic episode like most of you experience, I think, so I don't know if I believe it. After struggling with severe depressive episodes throughout my life that have caused me to drop out of school, lose nearly all the jobs I've worked, ect. ect., (over 10 years of bullshit) I decided to get some proper medical help. Within first day I started taking the antidepressants I experienced a pretty significant shift in my mood. Energy, talking, felt good. Felt ""high"", I guess. I didn't get any sleep that night though, and for the next three days I don't know if I got any more than an hour of sleep a night. On each of those next days I felt like I was detached from my body a lot, like I was watching myself. I started pacing in my room a lot, and felt compelled to talk or else like... idk I felt like something bad would happen. I had no appetite, my mind was moving way to fast to focus on anything, let alone food. I was totally incapacitated by anxiety, and stayed in my apartment the whole time, where I feel like my roommates were all looking at me funny and put off by how weird I felt I was acting (which is funny because when I asked them about those few days they just told me I was reallly talkative but otherwise they weren't freaked out or anything). Weirdest experience was what felt like a stabbing/lightning sensation in my brain. I reallly don't know how to explain that one. In the end I started praying to God to relieve me of my suffering which was weird because I'm an athiest. I didn't take the antidepressants on the fifth day, and most of this stuff ceased shortly after, though I continued to not sleep very much (like 5 hours a night?) for a little while. I didn't contact my doctor for a few months because I thought everything was fine. I suddenly started cutting and dying my own hair a lot, got multiple piercings and tattoos, jumped fair and doing all kinds of other kinda fun wreck-less shit (never done any of these things before). Drinking a lot and being really social. Started working out, got a dream job, started dating again, felt like my life was getting back in order. Then I just sorta stopped. Real normal for a while. Then the depression came back, lost my job, gaining weight, ect. and I went to my doctor to talk about it and of course all this came up, which lead to my diagnosis as BPII. Sure, I thing my experience was a bit out of the ordinary but it just doesn't sound like what you guys talk about when you talk about mania.",4.995597142857143,6.200196394000003,5.439428571428577,81.50900000000003,69.06,8.274285714285716,29.285714285714285,8.591530228387361,2.133791428571429,2047,75,392,32,35,655,252,500,0.096,0.78,0.124,0.935,3,1,2,0,0,0,75.0,0,3,3,8,19,30,2,1,25,0,31,16,7,6,8,77,70,30,1,4,12,0,11,10,0,1,6,1,1,1,21,20,3,1,16,2,0,10,13,12,0,3,37,15,61,17,61,30,20,80,1,5,2,0,18,26,1,14,50,262,82,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06034117177495042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885911584512225,0.0,0.04456976137406319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588822810426388,0.0,0.05446648299416796,0.0,0.0,0.08959873984506718,0.048645780675193984,0.10654670612724132,0.0,0.04957610445366653,0.06564057283653013,0.0,0.0,0.06360628764908746,0.06471520847899294,0.0,0.06503891740898443,0.0,0.13327089119282326,0.0,0.05985043928735857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878687043513693,0.0,0.10036080395443056,0.05913402805950335,0.06046606686450497,0.0,0.0,0.11926588907554628,0.0,0.059621573029699185,0.0,0.05707392742408113,0.0,0.0,0.04866986898882842,0.0,0.051602249428684965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05236153067714558,0.1709722936513775,0.0,0.0,0.02945868124728393,0.04162190896113044,0.44752014123497935,0.0,0.0,0.049557061307119885,0.07044983686001988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131742778228633,0.0,0.0,0.048866843133320216,0.1397907342642373,0.0,0.06418142832046113,0.05768788092404895,0.05152030562936532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03905134437518448,0.061556298599214236,0.0,0.0,0.11475135713162693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734461536644093,0.0,0.0,0.060670214317778026,0.09605671721892962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05957616178539295,0.0823034070068064,0.2846354511099383,0.05839316290504936,0.0,0.0,0.04892484743290165,0.06517953055995009,0.06359912885915789,0.19812681236450835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05869216503944871,0.0,0.0,0.05882733933928112,0.0,0.046503641300018585,0.06192257821685144,0.04282878444437308,0.0,0.04493473281318039,0.0,0.123923180262915,0.1640229469070738,0.05708373769317863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039479388027964336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059272722447641216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171374659903248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06631415361574826,0.03732370270543383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05896358087185208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06581872448139271,0.05980442255908203,0.0,0.0,0.17491023022019614,0.059390093433061335,0.0,0.04485242163890111,0.0,0.0,0.2474260342928443,0.062098830589904314,0.0,0.04870908435705768,0.0,0.060907396642784724,0.06669528902529692,0.0,0.0,0.10982123641978052,0.0,0.08761054556433533,0.2341412685913997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774124835672303,0.03733151061601351,0.11448293054577452,0.0462529916867389,0.0339726526339636,0.0,0.0,0.05567120178674561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04807170252895845,0.0,0.04624513543216308,0.0,0.07094660964626992,0.0,0.05400884071606015,0.0,0.0650466992638526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482989071483588,0.0,0.0,0.04138718038288036,0.0,0.0,0.03751838920289829 bipolarreddit,AboutAGir1,2019/01/05,"How do you guys make it through relentless suicidal thoughts? Nothing is going right in my life. I don't really have a reason to keep going, I don't have a support system or anyone that cares about me. I can't stop thinking about killing myself. I'm 75% sure I won't see 2020. I'm just trying to make it through each day and I'm getting to where I can't handle the never-ending thoughts of killing myself. I usually just try to distract myself with youtube or twitch, playing video games, music, just anything but it's not been working lately. Ever since I found out my family doesn't care about me at all I just can't keep the thoughts out for any length of time. I'm on meds, they're clearly not working, I see my doctor in 3 weeks. What do you guys do to get through the constant suicidal thoughts?",2.352106339468304,4.382608177914111,3.271312883435584,90.96361554192232,77.65030674846625,5.819059304703478,26.204089979550105,6.742157984588678,1.035464948875256,635,25,130,6,15,202,97,163,0.13699999999999998,0.792,0.071,-0.923,0,0,0,0,0,2,18.0,0,2,0,2,10,8,2,1,5,0,14,3,0,4,4,31,37,5,4,0,9,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,5,5,0,3,7,3,0,2,9,3,0,0,6,2,19,5,21,30,2,19,0,0,2,0,5,8,0,2,8,79,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600915433729754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843612929557726,0.0,0.10408034779043927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579048326169093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667743184986708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156763546227314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12945525702092756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202167718578804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144062956706702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192318933156689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867623960623515,0.0,0.0,0.1321587273128619,0.0,0.14376035180989866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504655609378801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22483833305716505,0.279857610572476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14267232344867925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933492040641403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16884965688661638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404881816879638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754737805731366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12135873779104983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08102483558637731,0.1300401120554657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10801124116872886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015726595692996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462363759483004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574099742303976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27669209090095725,0.14352536381313924,0.11920370943676395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08104178553038432,0.0,0.4016365767751643,0.07375014788388781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17174007469648878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13929728751942716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145275978499224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841545037003863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,sekenraw12,2019/01/05,"Therapist is trying a new CBT thing with me So my therapist has been saying I'm improving after a big setback. She wants me to try this thing I'll call the thought tree. When you get triggered you write what in that moment hurt you as the trunk. You then make limbs by writing what you thought when it happened. Kinda like the A,B,C chart. It all accumulates to the a big covering with your feeling as the leaves. Anyone else do this and does it help?",2.6834340659340654,4.600610461538462,3.498997252747256,90.23662774725277,76.25274725274723,6.747802197802199,24.561813186813183,7.6454224807358475,1.1053615384615387,356,12,75,5,8,113,66,91,0.037000000000000005,0.862,0.101,0.5868,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,6,0,0,3,2,0,0,8,0,4,0,0,2,1,13,12,7,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,10,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,10,1,9,9,1,9,0,1,0,0,12,3,0,1,7,47,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484279572922751,0.21750132364524655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167570077008658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18576371058840985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17732893214412107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733286520976627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090518145492777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18771451353384927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14228378544502202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22724530095106915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22476909228496866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037070812893934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14169553699833493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20501698967903345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16880998866284472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4929364068334442,0.2820528045545437,0.0,0.0,0.3370460531201754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882422452844439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252055830548396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,cat-pants,2019/01/05,Anxiety has been through the roof I just called my pdoc and left a voicemail. Everything is piling up. I cannot handle the anxiety. It leads to severe depression. I am trying chamomile tea (and lamictal and gabapentin and Prozac and propranolol). None of the meds are working. I’m flipping out internally ,3.7965873015873015,7.0409096111111165,4.025978835978837,79.93833333333333,82.51851851851849,8.27089947089947,31.78835978835979,8.841846274778883,3.6233470899470896,245,13,40,7,7,76,44,54,0.149,0.8220000000000001,0.028,-0.7566,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,4,0,6,2,0,1,0,8,7,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,5,6,1,4,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,27,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4934277195328389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3293115509150772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777713022182288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898448396036066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3504003785610952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3582280536671699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3643365156349401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21895832074979588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347859750265559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,CaptainGenie,2019/01/05,"Diagnosed w clinical depression, doc and brothers think I’m hypomanic..might present myself to a psych ward to get proper diagnosis/meds etc...also want to be taken this post is trash, I’m sleeping. I might have bipolar 2...It is 6.08am and I haven’t slept yet. I’m crying and sighing...I just want to escape. Nothing works to fill this void. Drugs, sex, religion.... Bipolar and extreme feelings of loneliness, someone cancel the I’m half asleep ",1.8275046904315209,4.605454658536587,3.27487804878049,82.81805816135086,93.8780487804878,5.937711069418388,27.039399624765487,7.321109707123232,2.1675729831144466,350,17,59,7,13,114,60,82,0.151,0.7929999999999999,0.056,-0.8519,0,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,6,9,3,0,0,10,17,4,0,2,1,1,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,1,3,0,6,13,0,4,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,26,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19323849035335314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26542891555523224,0.0,0.0,0.20812317591477028,0.2452583327244991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802243352404628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694911771870831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217985623609498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624631886532495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5126812395968717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318589807844066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314232103501335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418133453105179,0.0,0.20473980213110687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15483240956556124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.285049692984527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17591595097316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Solicitedcrab2,2019/01/05,"Bipolar rage I’ve been in full on rage for like 2 days and it’s draining me so badly. I can’t tell if it’s depression or mania or what but I literally feel it all through my body. Nothing seems to calm me down but sleep, and dealing with my trauma has got me so raw and vulnerable that it has to contribute, but I can’t get through work without feeling like I’m gonna bug out. How do you guys deal with this?",2.9744194756554343,3.411650955056181,4.5141011235955055,89.11849250936329,73.15730337078651,7.7310861423220985,28.316479400749067,7.793537801064563,1.431200749063671,321,12,76,4,6,108,64,89,0.214,0.732,0.054000000000000006,-0.9168,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,3,8,2,0,0,0,6,3,2,1,1,18,13,12,0,1,7,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,2,9,3,12,10,2,6,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,4,3,48,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043481317550575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27185157202266497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15783740425825726,0.5046335095113694,0.21079467227032728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474963457589208,0.17484269382119802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12786683315581088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19574137083130613,0.0,0.0,0.24233161701008335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391357353433694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348351530412741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22280259981021452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449172930947216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21391402318220232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23592115121539886,0.0,0.1781740311693876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,im-no-mountain,2019/01/05,"How do you deal with and sit through intense emotions? I'm a reactive person and I usually end up doing something self-destructive. When I'm feeling something INTENSE, it's usually not possible for me to talk to somebody, or 'run a bubble bath' as self-help people would have you do. What are some things you all do?? To prevent yourself from coping in negative ways...",5.402173913043477,6.93803791304348,6.038376811594201,76.3497391304348,68.42028985507247,8.998260869565216,36.98840579710146,9.3871,3.8003310144927536,292,16,49,6,5,95,54,69,0.056,0.846,0.098,-0.3197,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,1,1,11,10,6,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,3,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,10,9,2,9,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,4,36,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297861802914652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25071729719995783,0.1974112705007716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269810437896985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14939611341018216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154521425459535,0.1946158825597296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512710238062388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4650384295484855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3431778125489911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791477147645288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807587753269466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4909559506222088,0.0,0.0,0.17691691818125868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583321648239479,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,HoldMyWater,2019/01/05,"What do you do when you feel the mania coming on? Woke up after only a couple hours of sleep. Fully energized. Thoughts racing. Hyper-motivated. All too familiar. It's the beginning of a manic episode. Besides taking your medication, what do you do when you feel a manic episode starting? Anything you feel minimizes its duration or severity?",3.4123333333333328,6.612423566666671,5.103333333333339,70.34833333333333,88.33333333333334,8.0,30.0,8.515128840125781,3.775,274,14,38,8,9,92,43,60,0.0,0.929,0.071,0.6289,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,6,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,0,4,2,1,0,1,7,13,3,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,6,1,5,11,1,9,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,6,29,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428561513518345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542171702831938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3265413552850774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4476600783885612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906308053276832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972993369006341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2244497824802636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333982164537884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953301372034377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088853366764673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22189126167243145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23428993885121785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Charlietd76,2019/01/05,"Mixed depressive episodes- gotta love ‘em! This one started yesterday while I was at work. Today I’m anxious, depressed, labile, all of it. My head is all over the place- can’t leave my flat, barely keeping my head above water. Anyone else feel me?! ",2.8114893617021286,5.446739510638301,3.1398297872340457,89.29400000000004,79.42553191489361,5.4621276595744686,24.293617021276606,6.742157984588678,0.9471055319148928,195,7,36,2,5,60,42,47,0.187,0.732,0.081,-0.5399,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,4,2,0,2,4,9,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,5,1,3,7,2,7,0,2,0,1,1,3,0,0,4,18,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27275590947839895,0.0,0.1688188727254347,0.2473814835420595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4158999217056049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20169024065477492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207816938033693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4955695262572946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21460094553275916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25564769249197544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21790697536329431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16360445256368142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25225103776296176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17089086614771548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22885473503062445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17576954107808215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Brocktreee,2019/01/06,"Went to dinner, and DIDN'T do something stupid. So me and my boyfriend went to dinner, had a good time, finishing up I need to hit the restroom. As I'm getting out I notice the manager of the restaurant was in there, using the facilities. He had stopped by our table and chatted a bit just a bit ago, so I got the idea in my head to offer him a blowjob. It was just me and him, locking stalls... Fuck. It was so tempting. BUT I DIDN'T. So. I'm happy about that. I took my medication, I'm consistent with it, and I know for a fact I'm not manic right now, but god damn! If I wasn't on my medication I know I would have had a much, much harder time tonight resisting that temptation to proposition him.",0.6997916666666661,2.9203293958333347,2.915833333333336,90.18750000000004,84.90277777777777,6.1000000000000005,23.583333333333336,7.413659706084162,1.0737583333333336,539,21,117,9,16,183,85,144,0.07200000000000001,0.879,0.049,-0.4864,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,0,0,9,5,3,0,11,0,12,6,1,1,1,21,27,13,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,7,2,1,3,1,0,3,4,3,0,0,13,0,19,2,16,12,4,16,0,0,0,1,7,6,2,1,7,82,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16167010968311174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3982265118760511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16860866841455993,0.09528675566336303,0.0,0.0,0.1529728679870178,0.14586706900675894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19414839508740692,0.0,0.0,0.1871759367314396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058864046854604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20046409903894336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3674601524783139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681426328678162,0.1352334995352041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076424363724715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15575272182784716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404061145416475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15247901958373208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21269612577042388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026324496504552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15751897463442666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3381387759569151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129558516063591,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,un0m,2019/01/06,"I'm trying to create a new podcast: The Mental Health Podcast - I need your suggestions! The Mental Health Podcast is a podcast talking about anything and everything mental health. We're going to take deep dives into various mental health issues faced by people around the world, be sharing opinions and viewpoints of people who struggle from these mental health issues, or just talking about how we have been this week. Before I write my first episode (or second; the first would probably be an introduction), I would love to have suggestions on what I should talk about. These can be suggestions for deep dives into factual issues (like 'what is depression?', your opinion or viewpoint, your story or anything else. I don't want to narrow the scope too much. Please leave your suggestions as a comment! https://twitter.com/the_MH_podcast",11.480785714285707,11.321107221428573,8.982857142857146,66.28214285714287,55.35714285714285,11.142857142857144,39.285714285714285,10.290406445055957,4.2717857142857145,681,27,95,11,7,199,86,140,0.034,0.88,0.086,0.8505,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,1,4,0,2,7,5,0,1,9,0,13,7,1,1,1,21,19,8,0,5,5,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,3,1,0,11,3,16,12,2,13,0,1,0,1,17,8,0,6,5,69,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17106841421576235,0.09252911618789933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0884457429191624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952383374544809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682898279186743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934150541306225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682353837603842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059071803499196565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5524196612208634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32546075365893024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005802273874588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05078009700838356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381039435831236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5237380800718846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640825555480066,0.07707059247941102,0.0,0.10038642004799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14411856451108634,0.0,0.0,0.11409549882219233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206548072279013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866121904309456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815034960272768,0.2506304036206289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056880299530395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061306822778805135,0.0,0.08337483061247772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14767275309879713,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Crystalcastlesiskool,2019/01/06,What does Lamictal feel like? I just started lamictal and am wondering what it feels like at therapeutic doses?,5.878421052631579,9.246137105263164,6.746578947368422,63.61355263157896,72.6842105263158,12.221052631578946,35.8157894736842,11.20814326018867,5.9628736842105265,91,5,13,4,2,30,16,19,0.0,0.7490000000000001,0.251,0.6553,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,5,1,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,1,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,8,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34426117644146864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978230013914584,0.5620805835660277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3843842448765677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784458418174002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4266183130180552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,56steelgirl43,2019/01/06,Neurofeedback results... Has anyone on here had any success with neurofeedback and their bipolar symptoms? My husband is starting soon and we were curious what others experiences were! Thanks in advance!,7.818225806451615,12.056808806451617,6.845403225806455,59.78810483870971,73.83870967741936,8.261290322580646,43.233870967741936,8.841846274778883,5.621122580645162,167,11,18,4,4,51,28,31,0.0,0.747,0.253,0.8585,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,1,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,0,5,7,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,2,3,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,17,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32653416377502403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3357481857545557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4697014153201064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3398689811442843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4990836905169769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4420788635667393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,2017NYRes,2019/01/06,"Weekly Goal Setting: Sunday 6th Jan - Saturday 12th Jan A few years ago, the weekly goals threads helped me stick to a better lifestyle. The idea is that on Sundays you post a list of tasks or habits you want to work on during the week, then the following Saturday we review how we got on. It always helped me stay accountable and it was motivating to see other people progress. Is there anything you want to work on? You can list everything from showering daily to studying for exams. 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Hi everyone, It’s hard to know where to start. I started medication for bipolar as an adolescent (13 I think) but I have been bipolar since I was a young child, and it feels like there is nothing before it. I am entering my late twenties now (so still young) but as you may know even in my childhood there was a lot of controversy about whether children could be bipolar and very little known about medicating children for being bipolar. I did have a child psychiatrist and I sincerely believe he did the best he could for me. That being said, everything was sort of a stab in the dark. I am sure there are many of you who can relate. It turns out that a good psychiatrist is hard to find around here, so the next one I went to missed a medication interaction between a non psychiatric medication I was already on and lamictal. He also happened to miss my signs of tardive dyskinesia even though I brought them to his attention several times. I no longer see him. I am no longer on lamictal. I now see a new psychiatrist and she is fantastic. I am in good hands and trust that, but she had to bring me down from a fairly standard dose of Abilify I have been on for the past 14 years to basically almost nothing because of the tardive dyskinesia. I was fine at first, surprisingly fine and stable, but now I have been manic/hypomanic for a couple of weeks when I was pretty well managed before. I see my psychiatrist in three days. I plan to talk to her and come up with a plan to deal with this at that appointment. It’s just at my last appointment, before the mania started, we talked about my choices and my medication options are now limited based on what did not work for me before and especially now thanks to developing TD and I am just scared. There may be some major changes to my medication. I have started this amazing life with this amazing girl. I have a stable job. We are getting married next year. We have a home. We have cats. We have a future. We want kids. I am scared because although she has seen me in bad moments and knows of my past, she has not truly experienced me at my worst. I know she will always love me but I am terrified- terrified of the td getting worse. Terrified of feeling out of control again. I don’t really know what I expect from any comments. I suppose I just needed to say this to people who would understand how I feel. Most people I know and talk to don’t get it at all. They have not lived it. I needed to confide in people who struggle with what I struggle with. It’s like my life that I worked so hard to build and maintain since I was a child (with consistent therapy, with medication, and with A LOT of everyday effort) is going to be ripped out from under me and it’s not even my doing. I did everything right. It hurts. It’s scary. It’s a lot. Sorry this is so long. I hope there are still people willing to read it. 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Hello all, I'm 18 years old and I'm new to Reddit. When I was ten years old, I began to have depression. It wasn't severe, but I would often isolate myself from others and think about dying. Over time, my depression has gotten worse. However, at age 12 I began to have severe mood swings. Sometimes I would get very angry at everybody and everything around me for no reason. Sometimes it would last for a few days, and then I would go back to feeling ""stable"" or depressed. At age 15, I began to have three distinct and intense emotions that have taken over my life until this point. I rarely felt stable at that point. This feeling can occur for a week or less, I feel veryyyyyyy euphoric. I actually love life and everything around me. I feel very energetic and hyper like a five year old. I'm bouncing off the walls, and talk very fast because my thoughts race. Sometimes I can't sleep at night because my thoughts would never shut up. However, I have never done anything impulsive. I'm mostly abnormally energetic and euphoric. Then, I can switch to a depressive episode. These are always the longest, they can last for 4-6 months. At that moment, I'm extremely suicidal. I've never tried to commit suicide because I'm scared of failing but the craving is always there. I'm also hopeless, think that everybody hates me, and I feel so dead and emotionally tired. I sleep for 8-9 hours and I still feel tired. I can have a good day and still feel extremely miserable even though I know I shouldn't. Then, after my depressive episode, I can feel super angry and annoyed at everything and everybody for no reason. I just get super angry and lash out at anybody, and I don't know why. This lasts for a week or less. I have been to 4 therapists and none of them have really helped; I can't really afford one right now. My family aren't very supportive, it's taboo to talk about mental illness so they ignore my symptoms or brush them off as hormones since I'm a female. Could I be bipolar? Is it just hormones? your insight would be nice, I hope to a doctor soon to get a proper diagnosis but your insight will be helpful. ",3.857409200968527,5.894575903147705,4.783428571428573,81.7848765133172,73.26150121065376,7.528716707021793,27.538498789346253,8.329178653251315,2.0513982566585964,1700,65,309,29,35,552,200,413,0.234,0.636,0.13,-0.9952,3,0,0,0,0,3,57.0,0,2,4,3,19,21,2,2,12,0,37,13,2,2,6,68,73,35,4,9,9,0,9,1,0,8,10,0,0,0,13,21,0,2,19,0,0,1,12,12,0,4,12,10,44,8,43,49,6,61,0,8,0,1,12,21,0,7,40,207,57,2,0.0,0.0,0.06880784934581964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05638703503058546,0.11734038117694133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05802394186181056,0.12553817331678266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054218042969869915,0.0,0.12894721289817135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05629671071222251,0.0,0.0,0.09094657806866112,0.0,0.3036519481580397,0.0,0.07317852499148171,0.0,0.08081087468404663,0.07217024603157643,0.0,0.07215648376406122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.158629119863807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046571366343228775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19011024430459805,0.0,0.06647080445726067,0.0,0.28521687665925344,0.0,0.06770091378884552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051611288192846,0.0,0.04007260963542456,0.05914066660726845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961429085873971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452309133035228,0.0,0.0,0.07003260479497109,0.06943840976526819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750119746068125,0.17242583541010134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960697361096632,0.03444775483608896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363826885558037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105776492574098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05628062239758468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631455941490297,0.06809925522818301,0.0,0.06616910906581996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219659922810521,0.0,0.047779581726833456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330998646016132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034136509406593,0.1449925958510832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06021538274079465,0.0,0.0,0.07059307786418226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15931306347945895,0.0,0.0583268214802334,0.0,0.14112237730644875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20920937096319625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261918058677675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15425357559705158,0.08001421538633438,0.0,0.1465743305859907,0.0,0.1133469634368503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186785454407426,0.0,0.09036026400411963,0.06927597930931349,0.11195455182039413,0.04111510370555975,0.16208235883227856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04787184286507278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23271341876966056,0.0,0.0,0.11311816611791467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06362454878050122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07185598591495775,0.30053082375233464,0.0,0.0,0.13621890049885785 bipolarreddit,alphawolf9,2019/01/07,"Loss and depression go really well together I was doing well, on new medication, ping ponging a bit but never getting fully manic or fully depressed. Now, I knew I would be depressed for about two weeks after the end of the semester. The change in schedule always does it. But, during the second half of the semester, a good friend passed away. Afterwards, a good mutual friend started acting very strange, sometimes flat out mean. Our relationship was strained for about a month for reasons I don't fully know. He eventually blocked me online even though we had agreed that no matter what we would say goodbye as he was graduating. I was easily able to push it all away when I needed to during the semester. Now I just keep falling deeper and deeper as opposed to the normal brief depression. I can't think of my friend that passed without thinking of the one that blocked me and vice versa. They were my two go tos, the people I talked to every day and who made me feel secure. My world was turned upside down. Two of the very few people I would go to are gone. I don't know how to pull myself out this time and, honestly, I'm scared.",5.3378955453149,6.540471115207378,5.7672073732718925,79.48128725038406,68.2626728110599,8.551643625192012,27.83072196620584,8.841846274778883,2.143365837173579,900,29,164,15,15,289,134,217,0.155,0.6940000000000001,0.151,-0.2205,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,3,0,1,1,12,16,0,2,14,0,16,1,0,3,2,36,34,13,0,5,5,0,1,0,3,3,1,1,0,0,8,9,0,5,8,0,0,11,6,7,2,6,10,2,22,9,27,20,3,33,0,5,0,0,13,8,0,1,14,114,30,1,0.11436302727472995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951592001236775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148956574505172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485480601962763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098091886040024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375469157500973,0.0,0.3940028312557579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007985584695707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10129169742053536,0.0,0.0,0.07553570093156102,0.0,0.0963557829158812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0578253828145942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650697735481041,0.0,0.05974996159116504,0.0,0.19498543169168045,0.19184456272193087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165111330547563,0.0,0.0,0.12570185787729268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082130615896668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245748633724619,0.0,0.11520871837860625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128347728376604,0.0,0.0,0.0847987356355554,0.08820381689126802,0.11045252438306384,0.0,0.0,0.11205148515941372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749534701976611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15856984692853038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07326388370486903,0.11758423917371813,0.0,0.12278309212487977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09094606948467164,0.11449734109341968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310795822974345,0.0,0.08094673932832487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192066932894848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14655842020199733,0.11236109364461744,0.0,0.06668600088699833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439413350492474,0.33514818014884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18872294913355028,0.0,0.0,0.09173512220832404,0.0,0.205652191934836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024187723869436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24372064002125415,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,chemkitty123,2019/01/07,"Struggling to stay medicated (xpost from r/bipolar2) I was diagnosed a few years ago (bp2) after a long depressive stage and short hypomania. Basically I have a hard time staying medicated. I recognize that it helps make the depressive and hypomanic stages more manageable and my life more livable in some ways. However, there are a few things counteracting this: 1. I sometimes get this intense urge to cut/hurt myself. It's so intense that I can't focus on anything else, and it makes me very irritable and frustrated. All I can think about is ripping my veins open, I want it more than anything. Theyve tossed around the idea that it could be harm OCD ,but no therapy (ERP) works on it. No idea if it's that or just another facet of bipolar, but it seems to get more intense and unbearable when I'm slightly affected by but not consumed by depression. This plays into wanting to stop medicating because it gets so intense that I'd almost rather be severely depressed. It's like I can't win. 2. In a sick way, I like feeling extreme emotions. I really can't describe it. I don't enjoy being severely depressed or even hypomanic, and yet I want it. Even the depression. 3. I think I deserve it. I'm not sad about deserving it either. Rather, I'm angry about it. Angry about not feeling extreme emotions and instead feeling dead all the time, even though I'm still experiencing rapid cycling with only sometimes less intensity. Just. I'm fucking mad. All the time. I want to flay my veins and feel all the feelings. And yet I'm sick of it all Just, can anyone relate? I don't know how to fix this, or if I even want to feel okay anymore. I'm waiting for a new therapist in February and I'm not hopeful that it will help. Waiting for psychiatrists appt at the end of January, and I dont even know what to say. I'm fucking sick of trying meds and trying to justify side effects...nausea, rashes, 60 pounds gained, lack of focus, constant exhaustion, poor memory. And I'm irritable because of wanting to flay my veins. Commiseration or advice much appreciated.",3.3497752052766216,5.835616690537088,4.900644097455917,78.25409981154934,76.46803069053709,8.003257504374748,30.238322789069862,8.841846274778883,2.8712823529411766,1630,78,292,38,38,546,203,391,0.222,0.66,0.118,-0.9952,1,0,0,0,0,2,61.0,0,0,0,3,25,21,4,1,13,1,17,16,4,4,5,73,54,28,1,13,19,0,7,2,0,1,10,1,0,0,29,18,0,3,13,1,1,0,12,14,0,0,1,9,24,7,36,48,16,32,0,7,0,2,3,11,2,10,17,184,53,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807718799087134,0.07327082076067024,0.0,0.08276947215776599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667351804731221,0.0,0.0,0.08197395573963925,0.05779599404177385,0.0,0.13604003722634234,0.07358263340680775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077439921080736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932331276550932,0.0,0.06599522865277807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.427156318641556,0.08389554732215028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687388750683686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904967293630702,0.18595695741293145,0.07320994528763379,0.0,0.0,0.2729722510969361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507644685536485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15283091656600795,0.1295552803562928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404481799699493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11080706041960073,0.0,0.0,0.08209747440164956,0.0,0.0,0.08848648394403692,0.18662034539762584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085271914778696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058383384354991914,0.0807644861741082,0.0,0.0,0.07314922080807121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103489472131667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181376634699982,0.2498059816533261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060762718691976976,0.0,0.0,0.07983105696603504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286469705233774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0529524635698881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06573250266954568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524821610659528,0.0,0.1867587274405142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16350061543971547,0.0,0.0,0.1762036360913265,0.06601032706427032,0.06910530917298825,0.0,0.08641148835949328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452597013632287,0.09597164224331037,0.054913920897665086,0.10592708186026524,0.08121050123219135,0.0,0.1445946291960888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223793276520597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820103291993529,0.2925209481116107,0.13121923452142625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601755904708373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05322867222329791 bipolarreddit,kra4173,2019/01/07,"There is hope To those of you out there thinking no one loves you or wants you, please do not give up. I have struggled so much with those thoughts recently. I was having a particularly bad day while spending time with my boyfriend this past weekend. He recognized that I wasn't doing well without me having to say anything. I told him there wasn't anything he could do to help and that I just had to work through it. He kissed me on my forehead and told me he loves me unconditionally and that broke my bad spell. It took me a bit to fully pull out of it. If I can find someone who loves me, there is hope for every single one of us. Please do not give up. Focus on yourself and someone will come along. Remember, if you're gone, they won't be able to find you. ",3.756551319648096,4.7463635290322586,4.2177126099706745,89.92111436950148,71.7741935483871,6.926686217008798,26.34897360703813,6.980632752743323,0.9102903225806456,597,19,132,5,11,188,92,155,0.098,0.746,0.156,0.875,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,4,1,1,7,11,0,1,2,0,18,5,1,0,0,26,33,9,0,6,7,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,10,10,0,0,5,1,1,4,7,4,1,2,9,1,22,7,21,20,3,16,0,1,0,4,21,6,0,5,6,95,32,1,0.1357855307071515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22347984418991912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267504927501296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482426313880875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169672114316431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10841369730046686,0.0,0.0,0.08757043404943057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11440516600269315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482110302080711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26051570793184425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09101417899685882,0.0,0.0,0.269731340298602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676552286528206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981798875316286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840235795286429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296226535130326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29810347417372896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407183028482986,0.0,0.15381853648393926,0.0,0.0,0.10798210405046113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301012790549348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195251889463026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700588529771808,0.0,0.10779854399051507,0.0791776349136524,0.0,0.0,0.2594977871035292,0.15086272081326044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333327460927574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800898240928684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208749929240023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130892406083731,0.0,0.09885348355267183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,BluesBreaker013,2019/01/07,"New here and seeking advice I’ve been on a mix of 1mg Clonazepam, 75mg of Venlafaxine (Effexor), and 200mg of Lamictil (god I hate spelling these) for about ten years now. I had a suicide attempt about four or five days ago now. While I was in there, a psychiatrist decided to take me off of the Effexor and onto Latuda (40mg) instead. Is there anything I should expect? I typically drink 3-4 times a week, though I won’t be for awhile, and smoke pot everyday. Today was my second dose and I’m afraid to go outside or do anything until I know how this affects me. I’m sick (bi-polar II) and I truly want to get better. Any advice you guys can offer me? I found this sub late last night while searching for other resources. This seems to be a place that I can speak freely and get legitimate answers. Thank you all. ",2.5606753246753238,4.281642145454549,4.167640692640696,86.1743181818182,76.03030303030303,6.896103896103897,25.119047619047624,7.7094869923839395,1.3039956709956722,634,22,130,9,14,212,114,165,0.07400000000000001,0.8440000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.3313,0,0,2,0,0,1,26.0,0,2,0,2,10,4,1,1,6,0,12,3,0,2,1,20,24,14,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,6,7,1,0,5,1,0,1,1,2,0,4,5,1,16,2,18,15,1,22,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,3,16,82,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3782377429793463,0.17155592950220824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316095384434825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31852345577119057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17116481195009034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12481321247523043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895893266250068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121996900013685,0.0,0.0,0.20222671920146126,0.0,0.10998964990386344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916287697804266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19107444085921904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636104877351103,0.15775577918583186,0.2183144199291044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869160334055278,0.0,0.18161824764630125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022015032736598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618579297366538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21169443331362767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455132412333654,0.0,0.0,0.1781798097846938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901458572401745,0.0,0.11285104472801433,0.0,0.1834472986310224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415117830710368,0.0,0.15524104372376352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462934418687295 bipolarreddit,Crrrie,2019/01/07,"Crisis Center I'm sitting in my car outside a crisis center. I don't know if I should go in or go home. I forced myself to not move last night because I was scared if I got up I would kill myself. I felt like Donnie Darko, with the path laid out towards the supplies to do it. My husband is worried I'll lose my job if I check in. I'm scared to go home. He keeps telling me to calm down, but the problem is I'm terrified of myself. I think I'm going to sit in my car all day...I can't decide if I should go into the center or go home.",0.5405785123966922,1.6288345041322358,3.0744545454545467,94.57168181818184,79.99173553719008,5.170578512396695,20.36446280991736,4.935628992294339,-0.3225411570247938,409,10,100,1,10,143,69,121,0.22,0.752,0.028,-0.968,1,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,1,0,7,1,2,5,0,9,0,0,0,1,21,24,7,1,8,8,1,1,1,0,3,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,1,4,0,1,9,3,5,0,0,3,1,18,2,16,18,1,25,0,1,0,0,3,12,0,6,3,58,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871523588077696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443590875074313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554848264759542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5521948588495311,0.0,0.1295157382937905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4873077658095361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606973936026544,0.14393696410194373,0.1791591954045691,0.0,0.08899628944770682,0.1320001931944786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791141933457622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811659778428021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721133051562113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15196681795545594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15495175059751398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3242541894294001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14153999497487366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376263171884087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16445479035873753,0.0,0.1150353330226056,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Karoal,2019/01/07,"How effective was therapy in your Bipolar treatment? You can also say which type of therapy you had, if you had any :)",3.766363636363636,6.097911090909097,5.327272727272729,76.46090909090911,74.45454545454545,9.854545454545457,33.72727272727273,10.125756701596842,4.172381818181817,92,5,16,3,2,31,18,22,0.0,0.775,0.225,0.7269,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,0,3,4,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,14,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030048123081533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25766381885540873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013151148333663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8666063937820347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Ugvjivvnjbhyfv,2019/01/07,"How to get meds without psych? Hey guys I'll keep this short, basically I've been seeing a psych through my university. Were currently about 2 weeks from the end of winter break and I'm going to run out of my lamictal tomorrow. For some reason the pharmacy said im not able to refill my prescription without a confirmation from my doc. Do I have any options for getting an emergency script somewhere or am I going to have to just wait it out? I cant afford a trip to urgent care, however after I get my next paycheck I will be able too if that's my only option. Anyone know what I should do",4.478249999999999,5.207128325000003,6.091666666666669,78.10500000000003,69.91666666666666,9.333333333333334,29.166666666666664,9.516144504307137,2.575916666666666,469,17,92,10,8,161,87,120,0.024,0.927,0.049,0.4137,3,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,6,0,11,0,0,2,0,18,23,4,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,4,3,0,2,2,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,3,2,12,1,19,17,1,15,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,5,7,60,16,2,0.41113771905708507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13979387373597102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14373852629641354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095911527356483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820729934721714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222037336856345,0.0,0.2336590404125952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035454904233122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2220496440842299,0.0,0.0,0.1827190476675201,0.0,0.0,0.11297526910676566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283406607541404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21862481423646954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15634438095904038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21135902504054874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19554306020680493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16381176595428393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16489493939133898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3963220896873116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Ovihydration01,2019/01/07,Suicide hotline doesn't answer. I've exhausted all my options. Now what? I'm I just supposed to die at this point. I can't think of anything else to do. ,-1.1008333333333304,0.7010222500000012,1.2399999999999984,95.67166666666668,107.75,3.3833333333333333,24.08333333333333,5.46131890053228,0.4986083333333333,120,6,25,1,6,40,27,32,0.251,0.6859999999999999,0.063,-0.8069,0,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,5,5,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,15,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697666097852109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4663415518998346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3753639588609564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4247693293682415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4915024717866411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28791743035723283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,speleothemm,2019/01/07,"I literally cannot leave my house. Please, does anyone know what to do during these periods of intense social anxiety? I can't even bring myself to text reply or reply to texts. I am fine otherwise, all things considered. But that doesn't make this any less...idk. What to do? I need to do something. ",1.7964778325123127,4.451851603448277,3.3069458128078817,86.11120689655175,84.6896551724138,6.762561576354681,20.354679802955662,7.957251820313856,1.206750738916257,235,7,45,5,7,77,45,58,0.032,0.8390000000000001,0.129,0.4953,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,1,1,6,11,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,6,11,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,29,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175986989995819,0.0,0.2447853163157103,0.0,0.0,0.22373881975178908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800183612169596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113450604942412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692162092965422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758537117527077,0.0,0.0,0.3388146838502449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135904366700692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23726256183112185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3512440928903571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3261813022739585,0.0,0.2463377384109853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21258178967743566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Dragonrun,2019/01/07,"Abilify Withdrawal? I'm thinking of dropping my abilify 15mg to see if my lamictal is enough to hold my moods on its own. At the current dose lamictal has worked wonders for my depression/anxiety, and if it's able to control my hypomania then that would be amazing, so I feel like this is something worth trying to keep my meds as few as possible. Has anyone dropped abilify cold turkey? And was it painful or just meh?",6.1496296296296284,6.6907229753086455,7.04404938271605,73.41422222222224,66.16049382716051,11.418271604938273,39.65679012345679,11.20814326018867,4.802281975308642,335,19,61,10,5,112,63,81,0.05,0.83,0.12,0.7112,1,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,1,0,7,2,0,1,0,13,13,9,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,2,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,7,2,10,10,3,6,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,3,41,12,1,0.26592227371651883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034298115318661,0.0,0.0,0.1859390367834227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982544418029699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747687942536659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13445829166138878,0.18997492547686373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363639352696681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299161906850113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953796982136899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829600481487189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997874080595413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21190562307922464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20471995809381266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17039225552674642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805437682570261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883813623608287,0.19359458238462002,0.0,0.0,0.18890355356545055,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,carnimirie,2019/01/07,money Have spent over $7000 in the last few months and my account is overdrawn. Just opened another credit card to get by. Somebody take my cards away from me lol.,3.0377083333333315,5.3122831875,2.9512500000000017,92.90208333333337,76.5,5.516666666666668,23.166666666666664,6.42735559955562,0.4775291666666664,130,4,26,1,3,39,31,32,0.0,0.843,0.157,0.6597,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,6,4,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,15,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.51647099015651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4627574133287986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573317488166493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40148572556706863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3931406183693644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3703286785289477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,sunlight1997,2019/01/08,"Tips on getting back info life please So ever since my bought of psychosis Im terrified of going outside. If you want to read about my phycotic break you can read it on my page. I have noise sensativity, light sensativity and derealization. Im scared to be around traffic. Are there any tips for going outside my biggest fear is that Im going go have a break outside from home. I've been in a depressive and anxious stage since August havent left the house since September 2018. I know im a loser. I still have my job im on FMLA and college is on hold for me and receiving mental help in home and my parents are taking care of my son And I. I thank the lord for all I have in the time. Is there anything advice on how to get back in to life im so embarrassed and feel like a failure. I'm a 21 y/o that sits in the house all day and cries i have ptsd from my psycotic break. Sometimes i believe the break was actually real that's how real and scary it felt. I don't want to die I want to live Im scared of suicide I just cant see this getting any better. Im like a deer in the headlights all day please help",0.2686357243319257,2.4375658776371343,2.421518987341773,93.33568213783406,86.42616033755274,5.030098452883263,20.59212376933896,6.42735559955562,0.16926891701828414,871,28,195,9,27,293,122,237,0.152,0.725,0.123,-0.9061,2,0,0,0,0,2,15.0,0,2,0,2,13,11,0,4,12,0,17,2,0,2,4,28,36,14,2,4,2,2,2,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,6,10,0,1,4,2,1,5,3,6,0,0,4,4,22,5,28,31,4,33,1,2,1,0,7,14,0,1,10,109,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.07808554043213288,0.0,0.0,0.07819217801175979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108829292147931,0.0,0.0,0.0903970025074474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584758717731093,0.07123254251877942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305704150691073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015232479887372,0.0,0.07076897900208587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158317737074139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08789546990180103,0.10320933972594827,0.0,0.0689189582311253,0.0,0.08304553515787731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723804127074571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004193725842823,0.04045925386064959,0.05716452025422846,0.07682935146515248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12541752841993564,0.0,0.18190316422660446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726809135903956,0.0,0.16052815981958687,0.0,0.0,0.1846589106093977,0.0,0.0,0.691461075984723,0.0,0.07940502499478069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04397552710476051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693925132427813,0.0,0.1130374577779772,0.07818502041912884,0.0,0.07065692128936732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806388228796318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884996783928326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17567037935494795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353617918623756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16007831408923742,0.1821548733408455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16022295968264272,0.0,0.0637635901269112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19857391650546907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913935667922573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390208139586838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752616110371438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06016320408409771,0.0,0.0,0.07366936623004887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046658849583225234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158918965834522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,LucySparky,2019/01/08,Good bipolar documentary to show loved ones? I would love to know a good documentary to show someone who is interested. The problem I have is a good majority of them just show a bunch of famous rich people. What about the regular joe who's not genius? Especially ones that also don't solely focus on crazy manias. ,3.6039548022598886,6.304259932203393,5.445000000000004,73.53891242937857,76.79661016949153,8.001129943502825,25.08757062146893,8.841846274778883,2.3321841807909607,252,9,43,6,6,86,44,59,0.071,0.601,0.328,0.9605,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,3,8,0,0,5,0,5,3,0,0,0,5,8,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,3,7,7,7,2,1,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,30,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065719437174315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6499793319784273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14196147209369564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4662731737953286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3500776751948109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17908095615914207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471696152146158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21886684586082086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834973718569836,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,im_just_a_dreamer,2019/01/08,"Why does Seroquil sometimes cause hallucinations when it is also meant to suppress them? Just increased dose and I'm starting to get auditory and slight visual hallucinations. I don't have schizophrenia though, I take 300mg seroquel and 200mg lamotragine for bipolar II. It's not that bad though, the worst side effect I get is congested sinuses and the odd dizzy spell. It does seem to work well for what it's supposed to do otherwise. Anyone else experience these?",5.1832142857142856,8.05068398809524,5.2216666666666685,76.32750000000001,72.21428571428572,8.009523809523811,30.73809523809524,8.841846274778883,2.8958380952380947,381,17,63,8,8,119,62,84,0.102,0.815,0.083,-0.3839,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,2,6,3,0,0,2,0,5,4,0,2,0,11,12,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,1,0,4,1,6,11,2,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,36,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18528851576935454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16200837430351805,0.2374016088036781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19345784801216992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380172961849429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40552032522762216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19355364405559405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22664474726216585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24210490364654025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21092882582585207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22915488646036286,0.0,0.16399677927561646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742077871174064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4552835018804832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20832400049795766,0.0,0.20907107819447207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686786384864021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,broskymchoesky,2019/01/08,"Having a depressive episode I thought i was getting better... i thought i was becoming more confident and happier.. i haven’t smoked in a bit or drank in quite a bit and i thought everything was going well... I’m curled in bed in my room at noon because i feel so alone and crippled by my own fears. I feel so much regret for everything I’ve done and all the people I’ve hurt... i shouldn’t be here because it’s just a nuisance in everyone when i talk about how sad i am all the time and how terrible life is... I want to go to sleep but it’s noon and i have plans today so i can’t just ignore it but this downtime is killing me...",0.8766819747416754,2.741976955223884,2.783731343283584,93.46373708381172,81.68656716417911,6.5111366245694615,24.48679678530425,7.61054688173877,1.085162571756602,488,19,113,8,13,163,80,134,0.174,0.7979999999999999,0.028,-0.9516,0,1,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,11,10,1,1,6,0,13,3,1,2,2,24,24,15,1,3,5,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,4,6,1,1,5,0,0,2,3,8,1,0,8,2,17,2,11,14,7,14,0,4,0,0,1,7,0,1,5,75,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17801040669816434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20954650511591605,0.1898221582996168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520092494722768,0.37528542452584107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803547066597875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17588754329439402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642336895344837,0.3089398862170091,0.0,0.0,0.19340687822103653,0.17381007611779706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979746321346273,0.0,0.1953607630110324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839954750976084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19015394595089866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140021914529843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634771770368275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915631087564252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828099535279004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17199887628572794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13814641386888593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4093480596567337,0.10022154913633664,0.0,0.16291716658882838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013761809050947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545360419341847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,etoet,2019/01/08,"Psychosis or just anxiety? Recently I've been having this strong feeling that people around me can tell what I'm thinking, tell that I'm constantly thinking about killing myself. I feel like people are always looking at me with this mix of pity and disgust because they can tell I'm suicidal. It makes me feel really anxious about being out in public. I *know* it's not possible for people to hear my thoughts, but I can't shake the feeling that they can. This started happening a couple days ago, after I quit all my meds cold turkey about two weeks ago (I know, not smart). Could this be psychosis, or am I just anxious?",3.0807703081232454,5.624397966386557,3.746407563025212,85.8653816526611,77.73949579831933,6.3196078431372555,26.723389355742306,7.492282038375204,1.6555036414565816,494,20,89,7,12,156,80,119,0.132,0.7929999999999999,0.075,-0.7803,0,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,2,2,6,7,2,1,2,0,11,0,0,1,1,23,28,4,2,1,7,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,10,4,0,0,9,0,0,1,3,4,0,1,2,7,14,3,12,23,1,13,0,1,1,0,7,4,0,2,9,59,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602666847713318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215311441258375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230505000945763,0.3316946250801815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13068714021976596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949066804536923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586435244270576,0.0,0.11721145739781552,0.16243640048007124,0.0,0.09467676553310247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969150893963863,0.10487717284681328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12981874530689094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545935467352665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16241744184848664,0.0,0.1613598412681348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172126927735442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327881658470274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799315184754208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16306671834315026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.305327293037435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16550002971938374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15614466924661785,0.0,0.0,0.0940467296580849,0.0,0.14495174516670425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10390898933205887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16058030900754866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38494084299421377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18813280741950655,0.0,0.11654638446166515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14340667688702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11775772457315507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,youreawfuliloveyou,2019/01/08,"🙌 Hands in the air if you're not sleeping 🙌 Can't sleep. I have a baby, so finding time to sleep is hard. Worried that this last bout of no-sleep could lead to an episode. Where my non-sleeping homies at? ",0.9831818181818156,2.623453681818184,1.8409090909090933,101.45636363636366,80.36363636363637,4.4,22.363636363636363,3.1291,-0.4603454545454549,158,5,39,0,4,49,39,44,0.096,0.904,0.0,-0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,0,4,4,4,1,0,5,4,2,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,5,3,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,2,20,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473829319806693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16871516373351494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16535956609512806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15046838350148786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9236343239406628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763798552619648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874637139954608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ValiantDisease,2019/01/08,"miserable (tw self-harm and suicide) I'm having a horrible depressive episode. It's been over a year that I've felt this empty and hollow inside - dissociating. Even in previous episodes, I don't think I've felt this much dissatisfaction with any of my hobbies. I have no interest in drawing or gaming, I just want to lay in bed and rot away. I can do little more than get up and take a shower every day, but I'm trying as hard as I can and it seems like it's only making me feel shittier. I cut myself tonight, and I can't stop fantasizing about dying. I'm not actively suicidal, but... Death sounds really comforting right now. On the bright side, it isn't a mixed episode. I just with I knew when it would be over. :/",2.4905448717948744,4.475873930555559,4.381388888888889,83.37942307692309,77.05555555555556,8.041880341880344,24.27136752136752,8.841846274778883,1.8237976495726496,562,19,115,13,13,191,101,144,0.199,0.662,0.139,-0.7341,1,0,0,0,0,2,24.0,0,0,0,0,6,7,1,1,5,0,11,0,0,1,0,24,24,12,4,2,6,0,4,1,0,1,0,1,2,0,8,8,0,1,6,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,4,6,12,4,16,18,2,17,0,2,1,0,1,11,0,2,7,70,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13939876164765885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19259282500768615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220019963663093,0.0,0.17655572763271413,0.0,0.2127450162156604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539253611669513,0.0,0.1727110976346278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036480119285612,0.0,0.3936409487209408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709768669562778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836288423938044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014670508936764,0.2054516695613112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13683097605122885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506896498085922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15590249067296622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132046036811484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17505849672583254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18661323222394444,0.21384702501737585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17137901435880076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4484468557618281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412534586145488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13134793187649998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391732887180901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209071400509828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14561748131239935,0.0,0.0,0.13200544922563154 bipolarreddit,BlueBoyBlitz,2019/01/08,"Anguish For the last three months I've been doing what I can to keep my anger and anxiety down to a minimum. Long story short I was asked to help an aquaintence with a project and when I divulged personal stories to them about things that I had guilt or fears about they decided to tell me it was my fault and then rub salt in the would be telling me I was a burden on them. I came home crushed and filled with rage and anger but mostly a feeling of guilt. Like I had done something wrong. Like maybe there was truth in their words. Logically I know there isn't. They never took the time to even listen to me and interrupted me constantly while never giving me a chance to think to respond, claiming that because I had to think I was about to lie and was unsure myself. Truth is, I just don't think of certain things that often. I had opened up to these people just to be kicked down, and for the last three months I've been filled with an uneasy rage and panic attacks whenever I think of them which has been daily. I've done everything I know to do to get them out of my head, but it only serves to strengthen the memory. I know that by giving them so much real estate in my head I'm giving them the power over me but I can't control it. I feel so hurt, and now it's starting to cause severe paranoia in my normal life making me laugh or at those I trust. I feel lost, helpless, useless and full of guilt but lost of all I feel like it is all my fault for not being able to cope. I have a history of trauma, bipolar, depression, and autism. I'm terrified of people and I don't know what to do anymore. I've resigned the idea of ever getting a job or of ever having a meaningful relationship. But know I wonder if having a standards life is out of the question as well. I feel like my troubles are so insignificant compared to others and that I'm just whining, but I also know that just because others have it worse it doesn't invalidate my pain but yet still I feel like a waste of breathe. I'm scared. I'm so scared for my future.",4.993237410071941,5.000057992805762,5.601530935251797,84.61127482014392,68.59232613908873,8.302695443645081,27.95098321342925,7.839951260653429,1.5219295731414868,1601,47,337,17,25,519,194,417,0.275,0.629,0.096,-0.9979,2,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,9,4,23,39,5,8,20,0,37,7,3,3,9,79,73,34,0,3,16,0,7,5,0,1,4,1,1,1,22,21,0,2,22,0,0,4,8,28,1,2,19,9,52,11,56,50,5,38,0,8,0,0,21,15,0,8,24,244,74,2,0.0896194965740282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166867903161805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855866957978242,0.0,0.08887845912433852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378213155395177,0.10195511524355508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926242658686816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250082917438498,0.0,0.09206390980802266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968468378870838,0.10051588590824218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718914107847576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18342372043969374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059192832265543366,0.16213193092843367,0.0,0.0,0.08054422482223847,0.0,0.0,0.1008468493489385,0.271885861394445,0.1920725587779236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364497610323293,0.25791356199245763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18395091742068104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600700594556603,0.0,0.08989566219085808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593952463701287,0.10116950310946296,0.0,0.0,0.08893352183454709,0.07965792632213038,0.0,0.0,0.2955151893886313,0.14610370212540505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660180158724468,0.21891779585221915,0.0,0.0,0.07931043430692418,0.0,0.0,0.19566053425425856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05982170986995964,0.0,0.09003482998766749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14306685429103722,0.0,0.06588064173334869,0.0,0.13824016124920946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780807862173269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815966555373057,0.09536146299908728,0.1051491696303811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426174955492544,0.07825228762331364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039434654822477,0.0,0.0,0.10200660730597373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621780016018937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17944950063637238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124452195313972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06899346687514407,0.0,0.0,0.06343314094411458,0.0,0.07157024573024204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15666278028981906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190784226483338,0.229698218911876,0.0,0.0,0.05225784915321618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957055822266997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08057869028891068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718852112275857,0.0,0.0,0.09132992341672526,0.06366311905721725,0.09798485079943348,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,likeaparasite,2019/01/09,"How often between med changes? A year ago I was out on medical leave for a major stress triggered episode and my entire cocktail changed to get me working again. I've had two severe depressive episodes since then but I take some extra Lamictal and ride them out. I think I'm in a mixed episode right now though and I see my doctor in two weeks, I don't know if it's time for an adjustment or just ride this out too. The rage and anxiety, next minute I'm holding in tears all trying to hide in the bathroom at work. I don't know. Lithium, lamictal, Lexapro (tiny), and topamax (appetite)",3.77323754789272,5.321658431034487,4.084942528735635,88.7320881226054,72.44827586206895,7.224521072796936,30.992337164750968,7.793537801064563,1.9790739463601523,462,21,94,6,9,144,85,116,0.162,0.838,0.0,-0.9319,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,2,7,3,1,1,6,0,4,2,0,2,1,22,12,11,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,8,1,1,4,1,0,2,2,3,0,2,2,1,10,0,14,10,4,20,0,1,1,0,1,10,0,4,8,57,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16754213025486814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14458882690648991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3998858937011965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16279031414792194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934553210489928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987476662210902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077451562223805,0.0,0.0,0.20012972352237485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099427008023373,0.19040333692687084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20100968356500404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16140981693635448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506130553098136,0.0,0.0,0.21352261865113187,0.0,0.1563474505863393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21650536641565885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421087483671892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211072072231848,0.1856971197299643,0.0,0.11021073121798193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12832244920735933,0.0,0.3692621690637436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15160895484019793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27519677034218065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171346031538413 bipolarreddit,flyingsunflower,2019/01/09,"Positive Affirmations/Pep Talks/Success stories I'm having a pretty rough night/week and I'm getting overwhelmed about it. Rather than ask for advice, I'd love some positive affirmations that you guys have for yourselves, what pep talks you've used to get you through rough spots, or something you were successful at despite not being able to do it before due to bipolar disorder Basically just throw all of your positive things my way. ",7.98769230769231,9.289583923076927,7.135025641025642,71.6933076923077,62.33333333333333,10.342564102564104,37.3948717948718,10.355215969177356,4.155114871794872,358,17,57,8,5,110,62,78,0.031,0.705,0.264,0.9661,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,4,0,1,3,3,0,1,1,0,5,2,0,1,1,8,12,2,0,1,4,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,2,5,2,10,10,2,4,0,1,0,1,8,1,0,2,1,33,10,1,0.2735012558837077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.267262261864977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556867542956101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327294244376936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134561342803117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28578623570238154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27080924313106625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468455616370083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566624011636751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782491027100959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21055462884168188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198299494358832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18170208151118145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362172712203081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170925664849112,0.2193862101284715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,KahleenB,2019/01/09,"Thought on being involuntarily held or medicated? So I myself had a very very rough start when I got diagnosed. It was lucky for me that my dad knew what to do and was able to convince me to get help in a very dangerous manic state. A few people close to me in the past few years have gotten mentally ill. With some success they manage to get to the hospital but there is nothing that can be done if they refuse to take medications. I have a friend who’s in a psychosis state and is refusing medications. He’s not functioning and no matter how often he’s brought to the hospital he won’t take the medications so he can’t get better. I’m wondering if you guys had any experience or any thoughts on whether being involuntarily medicated while your in a complete psychosis stat should be allowed. Mostly just thinking and ranting. I just wish that there was more that I could do. Because I was the same as him 5 years ago but I was able to be convinced to take my medication. Thanks guys. ",4.668919319022943,6.029355673575133,5.805081421169508,77.99690414507774,69.98445595854922,9.037601776461882,30.366025166543302,9.424239791934726,2.675619096965211,787,32,154,17,14,262,113,193,0.053,0.795,0.152,0.9567,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,2,2,9,8,1,0,11,0,24,8,0,2,0,35,43,17,0,5,10,1,1,0,1,2,8,0,0,2,7,6,0,3,5,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,15,1,18,7,19,20,6,17,0,0,0,0,17,7,0,9,7,108,25,2,0.22341190257596852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990205858653751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519277548722383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809491108800063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879483622637793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712156463079053,0.0,0.0,0.08918811250747201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11337918916550198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11431397164551332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092698550511589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630374086650361,0.0,0.17508524716457247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934145377785434,0.0,0.0,0.22121290831949567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487414448794086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6751919631631877,0.1125733253781478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10718487298698737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066359702962333,0.07744284153212297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906604726901123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25196692017419364,0.0,0.0,0.1028438317781046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157666309671802,0.0,0.17736409529363642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27650732581860393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845633112438215,0.0,0.12114033911496362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14386994041197262 bipolarreddit,noctif,2019/01/09,"Akathisia: Abilify vs Rexulti? I am on Abilify and it is working really well. However, the akathisia is near intolerable so my doctor is switching me to Rexulti (supposedly has fewer side effects). Anyone make the switch from Abilify to Rexulti for akathisia reasons? Also, how did it affect your appetite/weight gain? My appetite is way up but I'd rather be stable if it means being a little chunkier haha",4.395833333333337,7.534379138888893,6.1116666666666735,67.27500000000003,77.05555555555556,9.155555555555557,35.388888888888886,9.516144504307137,4.650772222222222,326,19,46,10,8,111,56,72,0.0,0.855,0.145,0.8695,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,3,5,2,0,0,3,1,9,1,0,5,0,11,11,6,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,5,2,7,8,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,0,35,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563510333897297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22414240838430816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32810586937494385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212844783872448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21397571926139805,0.0,0.0,0.3491828853299156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053583974325011,0.3295881913291186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25444492944199165,0.0,0.3903546809171775,0.288221170026592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333708762640624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,getoutahere3011,2019/01/09,"Hobbies I’ve tried meeting new people even tried doing one of my favorite things today and another one yesterday again driving and playing In the snow and I didn’t enjoy myself like I used to I don’t find much satisfaction in many things besides working even relationships is this normal maybe I need a more extreme hobby to do on my days off from this job anybody relate ",4.653427230046948,6.874562535211267,5.312323943661976,78.0523356807512,71.53521126760563,6.986854460093897,30.143192488262912,7.793537801064563,2.26564600938967,304,13,50,4,6,98,55,71,0.0,0.812,0.188,0.9081,1,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,1,0,7,7,3,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,7,3,8,6,2,10,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,6,36,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368935053505893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14569767250959784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984318849985795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064838994181084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22418760468820914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037155678381402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22904421724977694,0.2269638316021842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16607487211626545,0.16751447467300298,0.0,0.2181918923632877,0.0,0.0,0.2213505370348797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061741958373048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15662229164224548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24255013971460915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30017822068539585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214142749062062,0.0,0.0,0.3067654103014447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19511961442694933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16447015056429026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,schalk81,2019/01/09,"How do you control impulse buying? I am depressed right now and remember about a lot of things I bought that I don't use anymore. I am afraid that I will spend too much in my next hypomania. I have no one I trust enough to ask them for help with this. Even if had someone, I think I would just buy stuff without asking them first. ",3.2402941176470605,4.332507147058827,3.7698823529411776,92.25747058823532,73.11764705882355,6.616470588235294,25.364705882352943,6.742157984588678,0.7048023529411767,258,8,58,2,5,81,56,68,0.085,0.8220000000000001,0.093,0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,2,2,6,3,0,1,1,0,8,0,0,3,0,12,13,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,2,0,4,0,3,2,0,2,2,0,13,1,7,9,3,5,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,2,3,47,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270295116411513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4280230912720591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25675594193190554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19717053125921533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23653803831259976,0.0,0.15120108892867698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19472128003293007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15344186203087462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946216416736886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16828430720658175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24346157389158485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15512374561680248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593244581569455,0.19549848234137068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19396521016298812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620613835571844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15208587326558826,0.14668423310380374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197715456395276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206730284946288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626199078101994,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,BipolarBill18,2019/01/09,"Any other lawyers on here? Just wondering if any one else can relate to the joy of being responsible for client matters, including some that are life and death, while being unable to remember what you said or read ten seconds ago because of BP depression. I know this applies to lots of other jobs but just wondering if there are other attorneys on here. ",10.054871794871794,8.614514384615386,9.38,66.40333333333334,59.0,12.974358974358973,40.12820512820512,11.855464076750405,4.8615128205128215,285,12,47,7,3,91,51,65,0.07,0.856,0.07400000000000001,-0.1779,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,0,14,9,6,1,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,2,1,9,6,2,4,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,7,2,39,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265686938885649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3476254223906949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15580775382042136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201427712426508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21351602245199916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25363764487444657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14046779945849766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805336285410486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21729691180632515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731971356344704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556632063508253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28953822107734795,0.0,0.24312846151021456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5543616647110245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,jadillow,2019/01/09,"Seroquel question I was just put on 50mg starting out and was told to take 1/2 before bed. I know everyone is different but from anyone’s experience, what should I expect good and bad. ",2.4333333333333336,5.084441222222225,3.9811111111111153,82.55000000000003,81.22222222222223,6.933333333333335,25.66666666666667,8.07648339933343,1.9514666666666671,148,6,27,3,4,49,32,36,0.126,0.7709999999999999,0.102,-0.2263,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,9,8,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,3,1,4,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21977676198932344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624403806304604,0.0,0.0,0.26745940845040866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3283928828156291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30034200673274364,0.0,0.3074609500237773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636329962046892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17273962290357028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159739728081346,0.3521053845036203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22247418555258028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23632619937448215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30034200673274364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,CHOCALAT-FISH,2019/01/09,"I failed the IB diploma. I don't want to try anymore. [BD1] It's 12:29 AM here. I'm so tired of trying. I tried in the IBDP, and scored 24/45 points and didn't receive my diploma. My attendance was 38% and I was in a psych ward for most of the time I wasn't there. I don't want to repeat senior year because I'm so burnt out, I just don't have another senior year in me. I can't go to university because I have no ATAR. I'm applying for a remark but I was three points away from passing my HL subjects so I doubt it'll do much. I can do a diploma at a university and go onto a degree in 2020, but I know it's going to tear me apart seeing my friends doing real degrees. My dream was to study in the US. I got an ACT score of 30. I was going to go there for real! I was so excited and proud of myself when I got that score! Now, I want to go back in time and slap that stupid smile off my stupid face. I was never going to make it. I was stupid to think that I could. I have had anorexia nervosa since I was eleven years old. My BMI is around 13. Every time I move my head I can feel my blood pressure doing some weird shit. I've had disordered tendencies since I was six. I do not remember a time when I was at peace with myself. I don't think I'll ever get better. I've tried so many times to heal. I'm on meds. I don't want to give up hope. There's a small part of me that wants to keep going. I really do want to be able to do a degree someday, move out of home, maybe even find love. God, I'm so lonely. I have friends, sure. But I want to experience love. It seems like it's useless to pursue that - 90% of relationships involving an individual with bipolar end in divorce. I imagine that this is higher for those with BD1. But I have so much love to give. I was in a relationship until a few weeks ago, but she was emotionally abusive. I can never get better and find love, because my body is disgusting. I'm very short - 5'6"" and female. I'm the shortest in my family by four inches. I'm around 36 kilograms, and I only look normal. I once weight restored to the (still unhealthy for my height) 46kg and I was hideous. I looked overweight. I can never get better from my ED if I ever want anyone to love me. I don't know. Just a little rant. I'm tired of trying to get better when it seems like there is no hope for me. Just this past week, I had 7 straight days of eating over 2000 calories. This was a big deal for me. I really thought I could get better. But today I freaked out and ate nothing because I saw how fat I had gotten in only one week. I need advice. What do I even do? My new psychiatrist doesn't think I'm sick enough to see me more than once every three weeks. My old one went to jail, but he cared and he saw me once a week. He went under for getting caught cooking morphine, but he was always lovely to me and genuinely cared. This one doesn't really think I'm sick enough to be seen more often. Although, if I ask, I will probably be able to go inpatient in the private hospital she works at. A friend of mine (also BD1) went IP there and found it very helpful, but he's much older than me and I don't know what it was like in his ward as I was down the hall in the eating disorder program. Which I was kicked out of after four days (had panic attack and lit a cigarette in my room). So. What should I do about treatment? I have the option to go for BD or my anorexia, but I don't do well with other anorexics around as they trigger me. I also have all the group thought experiments/exercises/not sure how to call them from the eating disorder unit, as I got friends who've stayed there to send them to me. In theory I could complete them in my own time if I were to go for BD and stay in that ward instead of the eating disorder ward. However, I do think that some of the things I didn't experience during my time in that ward (takeaway nights, eating in public challenges, etc) may have really helped me. So I'm fairly certain I will go inpatient, but not sure which ward to go to. Also, what should I do about my education? Should I just try to get over myself and do a diploma here, then review my options for university (be that domestic or abroad) when that's finished or wait and see what happens with the remark or resit my exams? This got long, I'm sorry. I skipped meds yesterday morning and last night. But I just really need some help. I'm so tired.",1.7157916535238693,3.268729717226435,3.579149992457179,90.21152214161309,77.93824485373781,6.493569400825598,21.65104159523843,7.294493503376922,0.5627897993609166,3391,92,759,42,79,1143,351,923,0.112,0.731,0.157,0.9952,1,2,1,0,1,0,118.0,1,0,4,9,47,44,6,3,33,0,84,28,6,4,10,122,177,64,0,22,26,0,2,3,4,7,9,0,2,0,35,32,10,2,18,2,0,24,21,14,1,9,44,11,118,30,113,119,16,125,0,3,9,6,39,50,1,20,52,497,153,9,0.08876295072712971,0.052584790993266815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04336906407338248,0.039341500084809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647554944097223,0.03692894282834997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046537846610820964,0.0,0.0,0.04401449790247507,0.03103255949490564,0.0,0.0,0.1185267674782868,0.04149068840614585,0.05049033534386736,0.041697857052900064,0.03412661504959905,0.0,0.10821814179067177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19625904168366606,0.0,0.04929781404149356,0.0,0.0,0.04531844849262046,0.0,0.09049974400686682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046533132525793434,0.0,0.0,0.1063049901728646,0.0,0.0,0.057244760043299536,0.04575535231579179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034600631894011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270666457219893,0.0,0.049923186200737914,0.039308814052323456,0.09171585593349244,0.04949707674356047,0.05862709181194317,0.08029117070752195,0.07478661430228009,0.0,0.0,0.08682719808599773,0.04183890512261237,0.0,0.022440607457946283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08112772888815888,0.0,0.0,0.04866199697328343,0.13715607109152195,0.0,0.16231242369733334,0.0851495105051709,0.3278991978679952,0.0,0.14198368069270165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039246392091927165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04554819777896992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08924390224454369,0.0,0.04451823843396968,0.08816163822389687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039448294508751314,0.0,0.0,0.07317269455188835,0.03617682593791448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504764120317671,0.0444818977462183,0.0,0.039276209093172455,0.07453852309039682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403360857046248,0.0,0.029624979432983693,0.044995850070649296,0.04458715727843558,0.0,0.09859562808298712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943409692296702,0.097876472970675,0.06581660325290191,0.10268918949465017,0.042863905464608734,0.0,0.08329801629022505,0.04348442277683765,0.04258522258635024,0.0,0.09314178525264853,0.14179446842260165,0.0902221089238855,0.06750822383973018,0.0,0.05207209881607911,0.0,0.048060812875539136,0.04236714010313597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08390967915830885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04785073687507982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103167061045272,0.1421595478526302,0.0,0.0,0.09529819047395503,0.050275559935356255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060988693273262,0.08080645663869493,0.0,0.0,0.045556946681761,0.07342563009250523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04968142810460532,0.0,0.09460949518872518,0.03544310355523176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12548704589092033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029485080161847005,0.14218928683770468,0.0,0.07046786795953114,0.18115436633605653,0.15302993145494082,0.042068449254955384,0.0,0.0,0.1807926509718306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05338545031543747,0.0,0.0,0.07323873035809983,0.2094187524304561,0.0,0.17800071243663035,0.05404468055374601,0.039904276352764036,0.12342621690299832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03231024264549567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857406450909254 bipolarreddit,Usernameusername0987,2019/01/09,"A minor adjustment to my meds. So I’ve been really lucky with meds and lifestyle changes being really successful for me. I have bipolar 2 and anxiety, I’ve been pretty much stable with little dips into mild depression for awhile. I was only taking gabapentin and Hydroxyzine. Gabapentin was the first mood stabilizer I ever tried, and it’s always kept my hypomania at bay and my anxiety dialed down a little. Hydroxyzine comes in for sleep and breakthrough anxiety. It works. I’m productive and mostly good. But the little dips into mild depression started to string together and I feared I might go into a deep depressive episode so I just told my doctor I want to add an SSRI. We’re trying Celexa right now. So I took it last night (she said some people prefer night, some morning) for the first time and couldn’t sleep very well. So I’m definitely going to switch to the morning from now on. I had a little stomach upset but not too bad. I slept less than I need to but I feel really good this morning. I’m still on my gabapentin and Hydroxyzine. And will go back to take just the hydroxyzines at night so I go back to sleeping normally. BUT, I don’t know if it’s too soon to tell, obviously it’s been like 12 hours, but this morning I got up feeling really optimistic and happy to start my day. Maybe this is placebo effect (although I’m usually skeptical that things will work) or maybe I’m just super lucky with things working on the first try. I don’t know. Just letting y’all know that I’m feeling optimistic and happy. I felt pretty good before, but let my doctor know even though I was stable, I was still struggling a little with depression and I’m hopefully this addition works out. ",3.9393733567046425,6.061142512269938,4.877094653812446,80.83345092024541,73.2638036809816,8.338124452234883,26.366783523225237,9.04235418022936,2.294507800175285,1353,48,246,30,28,440,165,326,0.075,0.72,0.205,0.9932,0,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,10,22,22,1,3,12,0,19,8,5,1,2,63,52,29,0,7,13,0,4,1,0,3,3,1,0,0,13,25,0,1,11,0,0,6,4,9,1,3,15,5,29,12,32,30,5,46,0,4,0,0,5,19,0,9,22,159,42,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457140310126983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17809684237707607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934289194749645,0.06479475221258828,0.0,0.0,0.06603391618255508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820930363973621,0.06684758555353927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05004712013247358,0.0,0.2673552909964701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15885866405685434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05125564514045535,0.07019580242692693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732426082559752,0.11771429662145748,0.0,0.07451046179902672,0.0,0.0,0.19802565381068835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17641290093898618,0.1952676027573451,0.06206571849636173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16521836927369896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707668083383801,0.07642271999957312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705929710427145,0.06325630336669794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870739813741155,0.0,0.037912606745339666,0.3888898963925288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15592405767734896,0.0,0.17239751688970575,0.0,0.0,0.08232386986600197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05704668394919212,0.05754118712730784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184737515671494,0.07603386332504664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059020112685970724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053799724527009256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15789905355219652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19885630653990952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662720150191087,0.07381764139888547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329752934223865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985473875588272,0.0,0.12394673400008502,0.0,0.0,0.08112686482993378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11669467551469498,0.0,0.06782790724753285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031111562252618,0.0,0.07624395183226068,0.0,0.04525057628573514,0.0,0.0,0.07415240695250283,0.08621910801299909,0.15806078172764831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854680663856797,0.06403009696973468,0.04577189882948314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06977386614654753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259818497225429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Kilby-,2019/01/09,"Just started Latuda - any advice or experiences you could share? Diagnosed BP2, have just been prescribed Latuda and am after any advice or experiences with it. I was on a mix of lamotrogine, Seroquel and zyprexa but I was getting the worst drug hangover to the point where I could barely get to work in the morning. Is there anything similar with Latuda I should be aware of? I've also just started dexamfetamine for ADHD and if anyone has any experience with that as well I'd love to hear about it.",4.691209677419357,7.006959559139784,5.184610215053766,78.59691532258066,71.68817204301075,7.230645161290322,28.829301075268816,8.07648339933343,2.1575172043010737,401,16,68,6,8,128,66,93,0.058,0.836,0.106,0.5803,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,8,4,0,0,4,0,11,3,0,0,0,16,17,9,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,1,5,3,14,10,1,7,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,3,3,52,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118530480847424,0.3445155098974802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097021687011138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3596272034124126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12325834423958633,0.0,0.1450625602761586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814888037248704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17891942899239605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20442762329024455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5173039307054038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18419695700328445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19867919419372426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15909863955328593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16664059115758612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495423037363129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849595107126144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833317893475216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,alec_nichols,2019/01/09,"Just about to start work and I feel terrible After months of job hunting, I finally got the job that I want through connections. In the past year, I've gotten accepted in certain jobs but I quit the moment I felt like the job wasn't what was stipulated in the contract. This new job I got is legal and legit. This is the job that i really really want. But throughout the process of passing job requirements, my enthusiasm just dwindled and panic or maybe dread is a better term to express what I feel. I don't know how I will handle this job after just being able to handle my bipolar moods. I feel jittery and i don't feel that I deserve this. I play around with thoughts of overdosing to feel more balanced, but of course that's stupid and counterproductive. I didn't know where to post this, and even opening up to my family and SO, I feel like they can't really understand what I mean when I say these things. I just want to make this job last, and I just want to have the courage to stick with it even if challenges or events overwhelm me.",4.802857142857143,5.717527922705315,5.225703933747415,83.931847826087,69.28985507246377,8.61959972394755,28.31228433402347,8.841846274778883,2.0063501725327813,828,28,168,14,14,264,109,207,0.081,0.758,0.161,0.8951,9,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,5,13,14,1,3,9,0,12,1,0,2,1,44,33,17,0,5,11,0,7,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,16,12,0,1,13,1,0,1,5,5,0,0,8,8,25,8,24,23,2,22,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,3,15,112,41,13,0.08971721030236877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986733832226582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07934758172068357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851474252310434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845774012458328,0.0,0.2721823033765531,0.0640939929663585,0.08614259142764549,0.09828081854365073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351009780388138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8012743886920451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986124649488662,0.07313150079297767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08766259432479995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059886934542386513,0.0,0.09013299656140332,0.0977283435207352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716114213112367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664944077335113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526381563698983,0.0,0.0,0.08564522894755923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08592428734212147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09542529666627253,0.0,0.0,0.17242542678048944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134672661758984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06350230322396383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05960412798341343,0.0,0.0,0.07122544347044205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339877997212556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21167014051641234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531519762694206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05777494194044175 bipolarreddit,waiting4aliens,2019/01/09,"Probably the most ridiculous way of fighting my negative thoughts First off, I've been a Queen fan since my early childhood. I probably knew all the lyrics to ""Bohemian Rhapsody"" by four or five. I was as much of a fan as any poor kid whose family couldn't afford a CD player, and was limited to the radio and her parents cassette tapes could be. The movie was right up my alley. Anyways, a pattern of my depressive episodes, combined with my comorbids, is the worse, most negative, loathsome thought patterns, often about my physical appearance. To combat this, I have given my attempts at more positive self talk the most flamboyant, happy Freddie Mercury voice and wordings I can imagine. And it's working. Yeah, it's really, really weird and kinda stupid, but until i can stand on my own two feet, one of my childhood idols can ight the demons for me.",8.752500000000001,8.120983191082804,8.2981449044586,70.52326831210192,61.03821656050955,11.671656050955415,40.644108280254784,10.9516,4.6276375796178355,679,33,113,15,8,216,111,157,0.133,0.805,0.062,-0.8047,2,0,0,0,2,0,24.0,0,0,0,5,3,6,3,0,11,1,12,1,1,0,1,23,17,10,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,6,0,1,4,2,1,1,3,5,0,5,8,1,16,1,18,6,7,13,1,1,0,0,7,5,0,7,5,84,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452054814057981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704836989556332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839102379593469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20129397389411013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181625706021579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273031477711238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15696669672456334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469122128613207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370961364970723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4604358049580259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735813495155736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18235063920796854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22275492154895565,0.0,0.0,0.17663149673354167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17162467706934592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390327048915324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085845639446006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16948755941917454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15544998418421033,0.0,0.21760195428658025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,surfinsano,2019/01/10,"Is it bipolar So here’s the deal. I’m grappling with the variation of depression/anxiety to elation and feeling great. I’ve pinpointed that it’s about a 6-7 month cycle and I figured I’d put it out here to see if anybody else has similar stories/situations. For the last ~5 years I’ve had 6-7 months straight of feeling depressed, high anxiety, suicidal thoughts (with plans), isolation, and a general urge to just shut myself off from the world. One time I went without talking to my parents for like 6 months. Then all of a sudden I’ll wake up elated and happy and it’ll last for about 4 months. Then the cycle starts again. Right now I feel the depression starting back up. There was a trigger to my depression this time around but it’s really suck for the last few days, making me afraid I’m heading into another cycle. I’m so tired of it. And I’m in a position where I can’t get professional help. So I can’t figure out if this is a depression thing, suicide thing, or bipolar thing. Any input would be appreciated. Thanks. ",2.778421052631579,4.962921960784314,4.3307017543859665,83.1371052631579,76.94117647058823,7.824148606811146,28.38390092879257,8.6894789155246,2.383729411764706,816,36,158,18,19,272,122,204,0.158,0.716,0.126,-0.8934,1,1,0,0,0,1,28.0,0,0,0,1,14,10,1,1,13,0,10,5,2,2,1,29,26,15,2,3,6,1,3,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,12,12,0,0,6,0,0,2,3,6,0,1,4,4,9,4,27,19,2,35,0,4,1,0,4,14,1,3,20,96,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834008513709705,0.12860096264961424,0.1876417816623231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917749392892664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09430422477542803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909402544748115,0.1264386468800405,0.4225259342319801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245175931826006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186034631920183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640754490549438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521337706337822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305548238253785,0.0,0.0,0.12586620370115192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822044319843812,0.12957813981494873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29990910495683964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059916747951907226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186457154789954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3915671001280739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310547869363732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13617956739086354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328921077994172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07856768645342202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473570564105432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772989602515034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736134562725085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26830116080733074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09857509541151373,0.0,0.11291239228486902,0.0,0.0,0.24443393724192425,0.0,0.0,0.09736414891782366,0.14302722005915455,0.14095908264288515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369047965529025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822263313009095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712144765422641,0.0,0.0,0.07897750827121491 bipolarreddit,blueorchidnotes,2019/01/10,"An Eyeful. *Obligatory Disclaimer: Obviously I don't think that people with physical disabilities have easier lives than those with SMI, per se. The thought-process I'm describing is irrational by definition. I hope my post is taken in that spirit, rather than delegitimizing a different kind of disability by implying it's a lesser one.* Talking about bipolar disorder, we focus on the trials and tribulations of hypo and manic episodes. Deservedly so, as no other mental state perhaps carries quite the same potential for leaving a scorched earth in its wake. The depressive states aren't exactly a case of the sniffles, though. Dealing with my own psychopathology, I've come to fear depressive episodes more than I do the other side. Probably that's because I've only been fully manic a few times in my life, and the choices I make now when hypomanic aren't quite as destructive as when I was younger. My depressive episodes are pretty profound, though. Near-catatonia deep. It's strange, though, because suicidal ideation isn't something I often feel when I'm down in the black. What I do feel, and this has been a feature of my depression for years, is a morbid fixation with my eyes. A bit of background: I've always had a *lot* of trouble with my eyes. When I was a kid I had to do these weird exercises to correct a lazy eye. Then I had to start taking these prescription eyedrops because my tear ducts didn't produce enough lubrication. Later on, I was diagnosed with Graves Disease (and autoimmune disorder involving the thyroid) and I started showing signs of developing Thyroid Eye Disease. I had surgery to correct that, which was thankfully successful. However, I became night blind, and my eyes became absurdly light-sensitive. I can't drive at night now, and if you see me during the day chances are good that I'm wearing sunglasses. Heh, people make fun of me because I own a few extremely expensive designer sunglasses, but fuck it. I figure if I'm going to be wearing something every day it may as well be well-made and make me feel good. The thing is, when I'm in a depressive state I'll begin having intrusive thoughts about my eyes. Specifically, blinding myself. Putting sharp needles into my eyes. Using a pipette to put a drop of nitric acid onto them. Staring into the sun for hours/days. Take a lesson from the Oedipal myth and pluck them out with my hands. Things like that. I've read literature regarding people who have strangely antagonistic ideas about certain body parts. In fact, I remember a story about a woman whose psychologist gave her tips to blind herself, and she did, and is apparently much happier now. I don't think my eye thing is essentially a body dysmorphic thing the way it is for these other people. I've been trying to think of why that's the place my mind goes when in a depressive state, but I haven't quite figured it out. I feel like I should figure it out, as I feel that there's a strong non-zero possibility that I'll act on this at some point, which is a pretty fucked up way to feel. My initial hypothesis is that I feel so sick inside, and that some disabling external situation would... somehow validate the internal state? An ugly thought, for sure. Is the desire to or fixation on maiming oneself something that others with bipolar disorder feel? Perhaps it's just an oddity of my presentation.",6.694439024390245,7.973765533333335,6.991056910569103,71.6568292682927,65.21138211382114,10.48780487804878,35.97560975609756,10.540112619661397,4.137146341463415,2693,129,449,69,41,872,307,615,0.127,0.78,0.093,-0.9604,3,0,3,0,0,0,84.0,1,1,2,7,24,27,3,1,42,1,44,28,15,5,7,79,80,35,2,7,7,0,10,2,0,3,11,0,0,2,40,28,0,0,19,3,1,6,9,13,1,1,17,26,52,14,71,58,13,61,1,7,15,2,15,25,2,10,23,302,92,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06067321950708857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17779937817429362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07960704842304506,0.16198985746556324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06281198854309875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107730789431244,0.07517476326316623,0.3768225285015847,0.074009749808911,0.0,0.07618329066375087,0.2507093920653716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753432921868175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06143615709289658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205248439555038,0.2949543199212603,0.052092292202433235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348221480060653,0.0,0.0,0.04144070807074847,0.1223195156132141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724235520757531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231500665401968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593237818999124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720912721451273,0.0,0.0,0.05150380213288883,0.07124763597093603,0.0,0.06438750773313431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06199186954920195,0.0,0.0,0.14601903621111995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348371167333143,0.0,0.07362591065237624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05360276858120145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13685630943656454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04941079994784811,0.0554570611809825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896257043806054,0.0,0.20220731400423525,0.0,0.07618329066375087,0.0,0.06893062720486391,0.08220354986347712,0.06983482969864238,0.14836666815353056,0.07861742144887111,0.0,0.0,0.14660449889309587,0.0,0.2326702803515053,0.07293725439944207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260133787144085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058105824276930715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819623497202798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16840641231873846,0.0,0.0,0.10322279458564944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975993394669789,0.0,0.06872390143078548,0.0,0.10964980351607577,0.058608342022476674,0.0,0.06713265737133349,0.0,0.0,0.19377264593347465,0.1401678112253598,0.2149232850810857,0.17366510222530254,0.042518793396835335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049506210926340284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297732706040521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575706967804147,0.0,0.0,0.13112321842931868,0.0,0.06579672190390683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05179851543938558,0.0,0.0,0.04695649339743576 bipolarreddit,kehwa,2019/01/10,"Intense bursts of anxiety and stress I did a little bit of research prior to this but I couldn't find anything specific enough to my situation. Does anyone here get these intense bursts of like anxiety, agitation and stress seemingly from out of nowhere? I always need to step away when I feel this way just to clear my head, and it's over the most trivial things - often a sudden change of plans or having to multitask (e.g. being part of a conversation while getting texts I need to reply to). It completely overwhelms me to the point where I can't think straight. I get really snappy and rude, and I feel terrible about it cause I can't control it and it affects the people around me. It's a very confusing feeling but it fades again after maybe 10-20 minutes of clearing my head. That's also around the time where embarrassment kicks in and I start apologising for being so cold and rude. Can anyone relate? How do you handle it and maybe prevent it from overwhelming you?",5.0864401544401545,6.8144476864864885,5.509517374517376,79.09817567567569,69.43243243243242,8.528957528957529,28.88996138996139,9.04235418022936,2.461888030888031,782,29,140,15,14,250,115,185,0.193,0.736,0.071,-0.9776,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,2,13,10,2,6,8,0,9,2,2,4,2,35,20,17,0,3,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,14,12,0,2,6,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,1,4,17,1,26,16,4,22,0,2,0,0,3,11,0,5,10,100,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148267615478364,0.11947618776220816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21968787789158306,0.0,0.0,0.20079924422363454,0.0,0.11816016452394885,0.25564638901084435,0.0,0.0,0.13490505324483454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156760210548506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14750377377575988,0.15189639003505154,0.0,0.15054861723654228,0.0,0.1610454360106639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565426814060188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14836412831007634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217806253696924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13123624760146266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250554109504702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947241168188921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014953221563006,0.1439122585189905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885056092476015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129364191297057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554911206045708,0.0,0.0995453975045747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573646866609598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919857408882688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307165416383356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16139821100918889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163187389301176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.328957676174775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953930631043194,0.0920049837925736,0.0,0.0,0.08372694550532843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847461136922348,0.0,0.11397296454691085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,insane-danish,2019/01/10,"Experiences with mood stabilizers in addition to Citalopram(Lexapro)? I recently started taking oxcarbazepine in addition to my 40mg Lexapro and I’m experiencing some side effects. What kinds of effects have you all experienced, and when did they finally leave(if ever)? (I’m BP2)",8.373000000000001,11.752450688888896,8.201944444444441,56.29625000000002,64.33333333333333,12.5,44.58333333333334,11.698219412168324,7.019333333333334,231,15,30,9,4,74,37,45,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,1,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,10,6,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,1,6,5,2,8,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,5,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3662228818850531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3960349117948469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4435089827568577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4216038013429686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3997545915108259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28656499124566154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30440752074969674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Spysnakez,2019/01/10,"Lithium and muscle pain? Hi all, I started lithium about ten days ago with 300 mg at evening. Then as ordered, increased it to 300 mg at morning and 300 at evening, bringing it to total of 600 mg. I increased the dose yesterday. Since yesterday I have had a quite bad muscle pain in my lower back. It is seriously distracting and affects my daily function. I feel drained in other muscles but the pain is bad. As far as I know I shouldn't even be in the therapeutic range yet. I have blood tests scheluded for 2 weeks from now on but I think I can't handle this. Is it normal to have this amount of pain so early?",2.541396895787141,4.498939089430894,3.8326977087952687,87.50008869179605,76.8048780487805,6.423946784922395,27.4419807834442,7.348242739294969,1.4686650406504067,480,20,97,6,11,157,78,123,0.214,0.762,0.024,-0.9731,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,8,8,0,1,4,0,10,6,1,1,2,14,15,10,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,8,0,1,1,2,11,0,19,12,5,23,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,11,67,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791060694511613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697887685643606,0.2974793802776657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11488574130851993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3529799180824478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900730764272432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979012373158926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17453964842585898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7582152570238219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18947411201430706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735947775555408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126088604747052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414509633457035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14289338473082194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,PlaidCoat,2019/01/10,"Reasonable Accommodation Frustration. To start off with I have a few different mental health disabilities. I am fortune that I am employed full time! I am also ""out"" about having a severe and persistent mental illness at work. However being in my office causes me some issues in being easily distracted by things going on around me. My disability causes some executive function deficits, along with hyper arosal (awareness... Not the sexy kind) This summer my 5 year old was diagnosed with two chronic, incurable autoimmune diseases. This of course has made mental health stuff worse. I was lucky to be in a DBT program when it happened or I'd be in a horrible spiral right now. I knew it would effect my performance and I asked my direct supervisor, and manager about working from home 8 to 16 hours a week as an accommodation. At previous jobs this has been heart for keeping me up to date in notes. I was told that as an orginzation we do not have a policy for this. I said fuck it, and worked from home anyways (making sure I didn't go over my hours) and got caught up. Woo! Over the fall we had a lot of staffing changes and I wound up with double the work load for 3 months. I have stopped working from home becuse I was worried in would get caught and get sacked. My performance has suffered and my new supervisor has noticed. I again went to my supervisor and director and was told the same thing about their being no policy allowing us to work from home. So I went to HR, with documentation from my care provider. HR just now got back to me, after a month. Again they implied they where (but didn't out right) denying the request. I've been in contact with an ADA specialist in my state, along with AskJAN about this and it's super frustrating. The best/worst and most ironic part of all of this? Our orginzation serves people with disabilities. This is what we do for them and teach them what to do. How to obtain and maintain emoloyment. My caseload is only people, like me, who have a serious or sevre and persistent mental illness. Ain't that some shit? I love the people I serve, and what I do and this is really leaving a sour taste in my mouth about the orgization. If you read this whole thing... THANK YOU for listening. I am so frustrated with the situation and I'm not gonna give up this fight. ",4.178439466864127,6.279738970319638,4.8947932864371255,81.0538411699371,72.53881278538813,8.388103171664815,26.906330988522768,9.068930737419137,2.2799714179933366,1831,66,341,40,37,589,231,438,0.111,0.816,0.07200000000000001,-0.9391,4,0,0,0,1,0,55.0,5,2,5,13,19,17,6,1,22,0,38,13,3,8,2,65,66,29,0,3,8,0,0,1,0,3,7,2,4,0,25,35,1,2,3,1,0,7,7,9,0,1,21,4,49,8,66,37,12,54,0,1,0,2,23,26,2,9,21,252,74,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864975669866465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07641973948370627,0.0802529504462732,0.0,0.0,0.06600906496573898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008842922332046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875241138455981,0.1763717454945778,0.09081202046238708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713028568516161,0.0,0.08968915443042208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07936178883718659,0.08970033928912037,0.08234979593739014,0.09757473150557663,0.0,0.13731525950197326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591194267294671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18249722178453714,0.0,0.10172605849221154,0.0,0.0,0.3444358356288473,0.0,0.16907893572847596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959927797674419,0.08518734709207601,0.07630247041000811,0.0,0.08939375989690326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908968524967571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041939250521507716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298186141589814,0.0774779463273801,0.08122807179798157,0.05730182114922284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3460439635499221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704040414069946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290908185257867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977344483174154,0.0900792848167228,0.0,0.0,0.06528855450037889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09296114820637504,0.0,0.17854114912874186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858676570225283,0.0,0.05499413766097844,0.08826236760707125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466213420312057,0.08165770758865662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697976707634504,0.08811806998105423,0.0,0.09649273190348304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06076112677512055,0.0,0.0,0.07176978424710946,0.0,0.0,0.09827133001629908,0.0,0.0,0.08090735586221723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903401417611719,0.0,0.0,0.17109366713587199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050056575319061165,0.0,0.0,0.16405605622652605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385753081367517,0.0,0.1032602750954154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688592207231839,0.0,0.0,0.15915728644020372,0.0,0.09584223628455237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3749745884985515,0.08717918189690514,0.08748280429586024,0.12196283489550495,0.0,0.0,0.05528099601816752 bipolarreddit,Zombiebloomers,2019/01/10,"I got a job interview of my dreams! I apologize..... I’m mostly just venting here, bare with me! I’ve been jobless since last June after a few weeks stay in the hospital. It still took me a few months to get “better” afterwards. I tried to do everything right, Switched doctors, new therapist, exercise, eating healthier, stopped drinking beer, tons and tons of new meds... I am FINALLY doing well! I can hardly believe it at times. I’ve come so far. So, I’ve been job hunting. It’s been awful. But I had a phone interview yesterday at a spa I really want to work at and it went soooo well! We immediately set up a time for an in person meet up next week. I was nearly hypo after my call, I was soooo happy! Naturally, it didn’t last. My mood DROPPED. HARD. things are going so well, wtf?? I became really depressed, anxious enough that I had to take an ativan (it didn’t help). Had a few crying spells. fucking disorder. I’m over it!!",0.7849590163934437,3.2920853169398896,3.052602459016396,86.75792008196724,89.27322404371586,6.547267759562843,21.832650273224047,7.793537801064563,1.3970584699453554,715,26,142,16,24,243,119,183,0.134,0.773,0.094,-0.8559,3,0,2,0,0,0,44.0,1,0,0,2,9,8,1,0,10,1,15,6,0,0,0,10,26,6,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,9,5,3,1,0,5,0,4,2,2,3,0,13,2,17,5,19,13,7,36,0,1,0,1,9,11,1,1,18,89,26,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14833379491377638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14793229959825913,0.0,0.1161258772566924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407393977802576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131049769895053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14422899260613894,0.0,0.0,0.11309015047356945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15048337468862746,0.13439307787970478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12862589349996878,0.0,0.13435464274151254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356699815872946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800569843967257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383483432504188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213865083847686,0.0685998334133656,0.0,0.07462190644632594,0.0,0.10501413931765306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13977333437105655,0.2352414582754645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800890860918273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605937888643755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21405717730826052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14584683215851493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480393908713463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536244232124917,0.1396410804905438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464777115766198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16823074303409638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121311214416416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108614304269366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13995037542412886,0.10485788215773266,0.10977428363109998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872270239525913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524516481040156,0.08723116067429941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15312640979264056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14588126328146225,0.08914538414620098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744527376726704,0.0,0.2106449588940417,0.0,0.3541685818399576,0.12171819441094955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09558936086196754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,aurortonks,2019/01/10,Recommendations for diary/journal app for bipolar? What apps do you use for journal/diary keeping on your tablets or phones? There's so many to choose from these days and I'm wondering which you've found works best for you.,4.23,6.860714142857147,3.676428571428573,87.40607142857145,74.23809523809524,6.104761904761905,27.16666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.316552380952381,182,7,34,2,4,54,35,42,0.0,0.888,0.112,0.6767,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,3,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,7,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,7,5,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,1,19,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3969523845862075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439413997094211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4147340523513236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3362079663303835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834883975073704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32668848468349465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4101984139682823,0.2753721322242071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Beemoeee,2019/01/10,"My skin is crawling... I don’t even know what my mood is at the moment. My thoughts are racing by disjointed and scary. I’m curled up in a ball on my bed. Self harm is all I can think of but I just don’t have the motivation to do anything. My skin is crawling and I just want to bash my head against the wall but there’s also a sense of calm. I smoked weed with my “friends” on New Years and it made me extremely paranoid. I thought that people were coming after me to kill me and I completely freaked the fuck out in front of them and so now, nobody is talking to me. The effects of smoking should’ve worn off by now but I’m still paranoid. Can someone please tell me what’s going on?!",0.7166436781609171,2.751964158620688,2.09586206896552,97.25367816091958,83.27586206896551,4.9701149425287365,22.080459770114945,6.079149491110277,0.08871494252873502,533,18,124,4,15,171,90,145,0.187,0.721,0.092,-0.946,0,0,1,0,0,1,14.0,0,0,1,2,9,7,2,0,7,0,13,4,3,3,1,22,25,10,1,1,5,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,4,8,0,0,6,1,0,3,2,4,0,0,5,2,20,2,22,20,1,20,0,0,0,1,5,10,1,0,7,84,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18341523467426832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18873975032624776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19756915763020375,0.2404745164638608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514869168473095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17719922389457848,0.21203514511545893,0.0,0.0,0.13034782013817525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353845581022664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537474973311024,0.0,0.12604759509058433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21702139333663376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22151263800348814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590059860430586,0.0,0.0,0.2517630862455857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392674472758999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19433187863542328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18316332313751907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843469858550723,0.20046651480002708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146961522436449,0.0,0.3641647478689378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13527961286848753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14769720018391144 bipolarreddit,ZetaBunny,2019/01/11,"Hypomanic and not taking all of my meds... Not only did I miss my therapy appointment last week (I was so busy and I completely forgot because I hadn't been in two weeks due to the holidays), but I never started taking my lamictal like I was supposed to start like 3 weeks ago? Still taking 450mg of Wellbutrin. I feel amazing like really really good even though I am going through a lot of financial stress right now. I'm cleaning and organizing almost all day and I've posted like 40 items for sale on the market place in the last couple of days. I guess this is hypomania and I don't want it to stop. I'm scared of feeling numb. I haven't felt this good for this long in months. But today I got a call from the mental health department at Kaiser saying that the psychiatrist who prescribed me the Lamictal wants a follow up with me in a couple of weeks. Fuck. Should I lie? Be honest? If I'm honest how am I going to justify my decision? Either way I'm going to feel so ashamed, but I don't regret my decision right now. 😐",2.340222672064776,4.337471423076926,4.337165991902837,83.46572874493928,77.55769230769229,7.648178137651823,22.966599190283407,8.532816995589336,1.564678846153846,808,25,161,17,19,276,124,208,0.11,0.6990000000000001,0.191,0.9608,0,1,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,8,16,1,3,10,0,13,3,0,1,3,32,37,13,0,5,7,0,4,4,0,1,2,1,1,0,6,6,0,2,6,1,1,5,7,7,0,1,8,5,22,9,23,27,5,37,0,2,0,1,3,10,1,4,24,100,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556703317931397,0.0,0.11925248718113665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259680070912461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160528056485577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486470354964098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635439705865397,0.0,0.15360775440198135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865851750919757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806480444545924,0.0,0.11434608710858328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11009775973881927,0.0,0.0,0.2030465700802167,0.19977585048929128,0.09524799447336786,0.0,0.13119222161902758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265882206754217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941502065695127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327274924216185,0.0,0.0,0.10539183456549532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124695475228918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13228331302485127,0.0,0.12001577117971965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505734252378463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185036201101793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09057411245888376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442480342670315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405630922326793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525855564486694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034062175772296,0.0,0.09470598552377672,0.11923091992372405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16858652092309145,0.0,0.09510626897619932,0.0995654530766153,0.13641839915209794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686249529798003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619099830043666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170063551777394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11288439354693006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633465443622353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14048597752080247,0.09452893485207957,0.3821106378807368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,fergusoncommaturd,2019/01/11,"Latuda 2x/day? Had a pdoc appt today and we decided to try latuda. She said do 20mg once a day for two weeks then 20mg twice a day. I was under the impression that latuda was generally taken once a day. Anybody else taking it twice a day?",0.7552941176470611,2.6273535490196096,3.6585882352941184,86.99964705882354,82.13725490196079,6.432941176470589,18.04313725490196,7.554174236665415,0.4212243137254901,185,4,40,3,5,66,36,51,0.0,0.948,0.052000000000000005,0.3094,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,7,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,3,1,3,2,0,8,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,7,23,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7199659372616756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865166844255687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4755588099437406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123845976972026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16787417779084102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21163754009330926,0.0,0.0,0.15158831458518526,0.0,0.21810614664153552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909684612635207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,SubstantialProblem9,2019/01/11,"Living without meds I stopped taking meds 2 months ago. I will never put that garbage into my body ever again. I tried everything you could think under the sun and still had BP symptoms as well as the horrible side effects of sleeping all day, being overweight, being constantly hungry, pissing myself in my sleep, having no sex drive, not being able to have an orgasm... I could go on. I can't live with medications, but it looks like I can't live without them either. So that leaves no option but death. I've been trying to figure out how to kill myself but I can't even figure that out. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?",3.751463414634145,5.55214841463415,4.556593495934957,84.30171951219513,72.98373983739837,6.546016260162602,23.68211382113821,7.1686216300943375,0.9985518699186992,497,14,92,5,10,160,89,123,0.174,0.778,0.048,-0.9518,0,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,1,1,1,7,4,2,0,3,0,15,9,5,2,3,25,20,8,2,2,7,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,5,1,1,5,0,0,3,10,2,1,0,2,1,14,2,16,12,2,19,0,0,1,2,3,7,1,1,10,70,19,0,0.15326698580772571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586193531779725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042268060981443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17024506966373631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656271625639149,0.0,0.2447424334386549,0.0,0.0,0.09884452638460373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123139863063328,0.13863876336362282,0.0,0.0,0.13774648413168852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871051600736045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695672114030922,0.0,0.08423152712196888,0.0,0.0,0.162287607964657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748785074511662,0.0,0.40601266934871294,0.0,0.12870566680173395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34049013932747263,0.15440036369657914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233624581938872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11820894806488175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15407565336229848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30675534678378313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223992128490864,0.12813806297658606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15930308313496586,0.115237699015679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09820729585594673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081164453085376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13780542686617425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954878099470091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,LambofgodQueen,2019/01/11,"I can't stop crying A year ago I got out of a 7 year relationship A year ago I got sober off alcohol I don't understand why I'm feeling so horrible all these feelings are here now Why? Why now!? I grieved his loss and got over it It feels like I'm going through all of it all over again Is this normal? Can anyone relate?",-1.0412857142857137,1.0559074428571442,1.6371428571428588,95.79285714285713,96.0,5.085714285714286,18.42857142857143,6.742157984588678,0.12725714285714276,251,8,59,4,10,86,46,70,0.159,0.72,0.121,-0.6809,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,0,3,11,15,2,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,1,1,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,3,6,1,7,12,3,14,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,0,10,35,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233245450544551,0.19490080579447844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12751913575913648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20032769585693128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766391411656304,0.13028699476879202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036465297907633,0.0,0.4375799937676771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909802182404777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17868638944839654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19579988061640985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15247162797715808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18985626880863749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4936886130400047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35232585192402605 bipolarreddit,Clinton_Dix_Lewinsky,2019/01/11,"About to start day program. I'd like some advice So I'm going to this clinic about 500 miles away from home. I picked this one because my dad went there and made tremendous improvements in his mental health. Seriously, night and day. I'm blessed to have the opportunity to go, but I am nervous as fuck. First of all, I have some substance abuse issues but I'm afraid to bring them up because I'm afraid they won't treat me for my bipolar, just for my addiction. I think they go hand in hand, but if I could get some help managing my bipolar I think my problems with substances would start to fix itself. I could be wrong. Will they refuse to treat me if I fail their drug test? This clinic has a heavy Christian influence. One of their main goals with the program is to rekindle your relationship with God. I don't feel great about this because religion use to play a big part of my paranoia and worries. I've separated myself from organized religion over the last few years and that has helped. However, I'm afraid all the preaching will rekindle my fears and anxeity over the issue. Finally I'm nervous because I feel like this is my last chance to get better. I've done quite a few programs and this is kind of a drastic step. For me to go, it's expensive and time consuming and is going to put my girlfriend and step kids in hard spot. I feel terrible I even have to go but if it doesn't work, I can't imagine how I'll feel. I'll have wasted everyone's time and put the people I love most through it too.",3.473787128712871,5.064565887788781,4.171373762376238,87.64240717821781,73.29042904290431,7.4262376237623755,27.146452145214518,8.07648339933343,1.5924016501650162,1196,44,248,18,24,381,158,303,0.184,0.696,0.12,-0.9737,1,0,1,0,1,0,27.0,0,1,6,7,9,23,1,6,10,0,22,11,2,5,2,44,50,20,0,7,8,1,7,2,1,4,7,0,1,1,11,13,0,1,7,1,1,12,4,12,0,3,3,7,35,11,37,40,10,33,3,1,0,2,16,9,1,7,14,151,46,8,0.0,0.1323786789462048,0.0,0.12179933894814812,0.0,0.10917870549115248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497155408029277,0.0,0.0,0.27243190241255394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881379075047964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784104478203594,0.0,0.0,0.1441098379965949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143359036311664,0.0,0.0,0.1295682930739666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379488268306181,0.0,0.0,0.10676030233804587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572436783014632,0.22597088731710704,0.0798180646719009,0.0,0.122391886781682,0.0,0.09503525482348807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10329016514510428,0.11674589238094073,0.0,0.38098347878259,0.0,0.0,0.1231798340856634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008578958885676,0.0,0.0,0.118760983420619,0.0,0.0,0.14977701929885204,0.0,0.1120716747482303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23322872013599374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634687622321327,0.0,0.18214545824632544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916871143909064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008383252005124,0.10571915116031977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259492340786872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484858023635933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514187323683744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12098986793271213,0.0,0.07745769951724034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690801632794536,0.0,0.22463375826057747,0.0,0.1188358245154376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199533964347344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15816243335644314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14318079122374752,0.0,0.0,0.13029827092006036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649658618662356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357240330218148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133886542193762,0.11346458071679776,0.0,0.0793679272008732,0.1221563539487974,0.0,0.07194877146502582 bipolarreddit,lemon__berry,2019/01/12,Anyone have bipolar and OCD? How do the two interact for you? Diagnosed with bipolar but learning I likely also have OCD. Trying to figure out what is what. Thanks!,1.9800000000000004,4.747337000000002,3.27,82.305,95.66666666666666,5.066666666666666,22.66666666666667,6.742157984588678,1.3998666666666666,130,5,20,2,5,42,26,30,0.0,0.861,0.139,0.6707,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,1,0,7,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,4,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,18,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3704490246706871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239048248620495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4701739802666234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22631332139031965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.426484737533256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31450629544425035,0.0,0.4525134828601996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,witchybipolar,2019/01/12,"Hypomanic af, if people only knew Long story short the drugstore that provides my prescription fucked it up and I took medication that triggered hypomania. Luckily its the weekend now and I can keep it simple. I slept 1.5 hrs the last two nights. My gf is concerned as I've been distant but really im just trying to shield her. I was supposed to hang out with people and cancelled bc of this shit and ppl are annoyed. I've shut myself in my room and will only allow my roommate (who also has a mental illness) to see me. I work out in the gym in my apartment building and return to my room. I get anxiety attacks and vomit, my hypersexuality is out of control, the voices want me to be destructive, as a release I suppose. So I've been pouring myself out on reddit and doing lots of art. Fuck this is not easy. I am being vigilant; these are the times I hurt myself and other people and make very bad decisions. My whole body is buzzing and the thoughts won't stop. I've been working out three times a day to try to tire myself out and shut my mind off. I've scrubbed every inch of the apartment. Vigorous cleaning and organizing is always a tip-off that I am in a hypomanic cycle. Going to do some yoga before bed. I keep telling myself its a process and it will take time before I can retrain my brain and body to continue to choose helpful coping. My body is so amped and my mind racing, I want someone to tranquillize me and let me sleep for 100 years. Grateful this isn't my norm anymore. A sad and worn bean. Its fucked up because some friends tell me they are jealous of me bc of how I look and the attention I receive, how social they perceive me to be but what the fuck is that worth when your brain hates you and wants you to die. Anyway I know this will pass ugh",3.6789191444966094,5.087351738028172,4.894397496087637,83.39047470005218,72.46478873239437,7.1747522170057385,27.79603547209181,7.662118739084242,1.6259337506520608,1397,52,274,17,27,462,195,355,0.196,0.738,0.065,-0.996,0,0,1,0,0,2,32.0,0,3,2,3,9,17,10,0,17,0,30,16,8,6,0,56,52,31,1,4,5,0,0,0,2,4,4,1,4,0,18,27,0,4,7,4,1,5,3,14,0,2,9,3,47,3,37,35,4,41,0,2,2,4,14,22,5,4,14,188,65,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821510997975304,0.08547746267487223,0.11130514258058977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858621343013555,0.0,0.10187802069231768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686729768727687,0.0,0.0,0.08577312475451214,0.06262169633891393,0.0,0.17482697710370776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34232109588983095,0.0,0.2293556028658383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521756346091196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06625070290634942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106614868229025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655230211052377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07936696835495037,0.3798794663463719,0.053670849535262834,0.0,0.05838237374108408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014220831538419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068856040265629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997185338808567,0.0,0.11096326756378658,0.0,0.0,0.18261774441431095,0.0,0.0,0.05645631662994027,0.08373657765338209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050457714171144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091055523514242,0.08626518033449182,0.0,0.0,0.08733519926231005,0.0,0.0,0.06857136651587886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348709228564508,0.10352510173016967,0.0,0.2074508681365327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640274718171167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15625770037147002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21365482509170106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580983106898679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818604726463173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544824496253698,0.0,0.0,0.10280163246283776,0.10471769231599012,0.08704062987991215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588474295708902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723825324826733,0.0,0.17957662778282324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155411571468729,0.17970359600584487,0.11807008498165572,0.0,0.0,0.11413397004063207,0.1394903824457909,0.0,0.10034978583955724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476089973165403,0.18177392402109188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146915225408789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495736053200103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615310584026728 bipolarreddit,jeniuseyourtelescope,2019/01/12,"Is it possible or does it make sense to be self aware when manic or hypomanic? Hey friends. A lot of you talk about manic episodes so severe that your friends/families/SO's have to have you formed and hospitalized etc. I've never had that. I've always been self aware in depressive episodes and known when I was close to the edge, and I'm always aware when I'm hypomanic (so far). It doesn't CHANGE anything, like I'm still riding the wave and doing all my bad things (spending, sex, driving fast) or whatever, but I'm self aware that I'm hypo. I don't need somebody to point it out to me. I know. I know that my discomfort about the moon looking at me is a delusion. I know that I shouldn't have bought the $85 eye shadow palette (s/o to Huda Beauty, your New Nudes palette is fucking beautiful) but I did anyway. Anyway, any insight would be nice. My bipolar friend said this is called ""high functioning"" which I always knew I was but I didn't think it meant this? ",2.972365384615383,4.627557938461539,3.928253205128208,88.60622596153847,74.74358974358975,6.926282051282049,25.008012820512814,7.6454224807358475,1.1515705128205131,758,25,159,10,16,244,112,195,0.062,0.8540000000000001,0.084,0.7976,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,4,0,0,10,8,1,1,6,0,20,5,2,1,2,27,37,15,0,3,6,0,0,1,2,2,1,1,0,3,14,6,0,0,8,0,2,2,5,4,0,0,10,3,19,4,12,23,4,16,0,1,2,3,13,7,1,4,8,94,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38971185585659796,0.0,0.0,0.1061666311205796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847306749971693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13035328293823625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15941549106610672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16515375760145687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344655188199277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366212491112701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17411453961616422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412351167462543,0.14432998593906846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16494885057987468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573976255281332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627211441116077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311010819769445,0.0,0.0,0.1327272379604925,0.0,0.0,0.10421099576922713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576065020819275,0.12040900277169192,0.1507812108740764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14758341418505824,0.17600130796615726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850542006136033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4886001414841348,0.1763706265142097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467725498334754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254829611472386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371887585449356,0.10003508831183072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090283185066613,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,sksnsmsm,2019/01/12,"Anyone else have no social life whatsoever? Makes me feel like I’m cursed even further. Waking up on a Saturday knowing you’ll just be sitting on your couch like the last 50 weekends slowly but surely makes you begging for death. I didn’t ask for this fucking life, it’s unbelievable...I’ve got social anxiety and horrible confidence to go with this shitty illness which is just a death sentence ",5.364429223744292,7.622599986301374,5.6426712328767135,76.27761415525117,69.68493150684931,8.154337899543378,31.34474885844749,8.841846274778883,2.907759817351598,321,14,52,6,6,102,61,73,0.301,0.5589999999999999,0.14,-0.96,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,3,0,0,3,4,1,0,3,0,5,5,1,2,1,10,14,2,2,0,3,0,1,2,0,1,3,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,1,5,3,7,10,0,9,0,0,0,1,6,4,1,0,5,29,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18308262674280498,0.0,0.0,0.16734129089532954,0.2452162849520849,0.0,0.0,0.2237361490972126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999249532192539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807160906047926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210096840740628,0.17097350732257144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22125169132299288,0.0,0.0,0.13601365778363092,0.0,0.19140970644950675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152651455871453,0.1950814515940931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3380840166099053,0.2338437741049095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195019928586237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4879224825535216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22556055738248426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ellie-cake,2019/01/12,"songs for when you’re depressed radiohead - how to disappear completely the killers - smile like you mean it third eye blind - jumper & the background the all american rejects - move along fall out boy - i’ve got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth (yes that’s the title) what do you guys listen to?",2.120645161290323,4.9440858225806465,1.89701612903226,95.26552419354843,85.93548387096773,5.680645161290323,20.65322580645161,7.1686216300943375,0.6001548387096771,259,8,52,4,8,76,53,62,0.261,0.667,0.07200000000000001,-0.9315,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,4,0,0,2,4,0,0,6,1,2,3,2,1,1,8,5,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,0,2,4,3,0,0,2,1,0,3,0,3,0,1,1,5,4,1,5,3,1,6,0,2,2,0,8,2,0,0,2,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3462172919387516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26679934354453205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3350275805364063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752160232706222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555622544418333,0.0,0.0,0.3163910322208025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36071742648028265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15610922561338966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34806854953379496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396163652743152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541079767969229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,paranoiaMIL,2019/01/12,"Brother is still manic - Flying across country MULTIPLE times with no ID A while ago I posted about brother (27M) who was manic, eventually we got him admitted into a hospital with a court order, clinicians agreed he was manic/psychosis/illusions of grandeur etc. He was recently released after 2 weeks, court order 'dissolved' as he agreed to voluntary 30day residential treatment. No surprises when he checked himself out after one day of residential treatment... And has now flown himself (with another credit card he secretly has) to another state without ID. I'm surprised he has been able to get on a plane 4 times now without any ID, and just a photocopy of his passport/last ID. Is it that easy to get past TSA? Not really sure what we can do at this point. He's been asking for his passport because he wants to leave the country and we have it locked in a safe. He's clearly still manic. Any advice appreciated, thank you.",6.077456140350879,7.5678648888888915,6.735921052631582,72.15019736842106,66.77777777777777,9.676608187134505,35.30263157894737,9.928628108626363,3.8479508771929822,740,36,121,17,12,243,112,171,0.054000000000000006,0.789,0.158,0.9542,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,3,1,0,0,7,6,0,0,7,0,13,0,0,0,2,21,21,6,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,11,0,1,2,0,2,0,5,0,0,1,6,0,10,6,24,15,1,26,0,0,0,0,24,7,0,0,15,75,16,1,0.181569402339794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774275185611537,0.16095031990337966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246946839742336,0.3807826993622077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697428811200614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068302240007533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11709724364728676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024978793128007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18972503744364705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14521763773169927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14800329665224268,0.0,0.1922557805257775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303612607851105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17332853953944866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17164177362843594,0.0,0.17389329702296608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631800848913525,0.0,0.1792778801146354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29000311850263605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17112701291964275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16716471105593972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117491572935777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709433780101188,0.0,0.1456440224594666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3500528490726584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Chilly73,2019/01/12,"I failed at overdosing for a second time. I overdosed on Clonanzepam last night, but as you can see, I'm still here. I'm sick, tired, and in pain. I just want this to be over.",0.1255405405405412,2.13625175675676,1.4120945945945955,101.41381756756759,85.48648648648648,4.781081081081081,17.35810810810811,5.985473137389443,-0.6702918918918916,133,3,33,1,4,42,32,37,0.35200000000000004,0.614,0.034,-0.9377,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,4,6,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,4,0,7,5,0,8,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,4,21,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33391879506502725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3844280490316342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4358956598233444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3264373963629245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3271464017556164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238869758508298,0.4708315244682974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241621727662098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,anthroplology,2019/01/12,"New job schedule is triggering my hypomania I have a part-time job on some days where I usually work from 5-9 pm and get home at 10 to go to sleep. But I just started a new full-time 8 am - 4 pm job M-F. Because of the distance I have to be at the bus stop around 7 am. I know this is risky, but I really could use the money. (My family was bad with money, so I have ""security issues"" about not having enough cash in the bank.) The first few days were a little rough because my body wasn't used to the schedule change. Getting out of bed was a struggle. But after a few days of that I woke up with the most sublime energy, the kind that begs to be released and shown to the world. My first thought was ""Fuck yeah, I'm all better now!"" My thought process is still accelerating to generate all these new ideas. One day I'm going to write essays on my leftist theories on the occult (don't worry, they make sense to me) for some kind of publication and get famous. But I don't have the patience to sit down and read any relevant literature - I just can't go fast enough and I want to throw the book across the room. I've also started another goal to lose weight because I realized I don't need as much ""fuel"" to stay energetic as I thought I did. I think the moment I realized I was hypomanic was the hypersexuality, the symptom I'm most ashamed of, as I'm usually a very disciplined and self-controlled person. I think the major reason why I didn't end up acting on those impulses later that night (I had the night off) was that my back was in a lot of pain and I had to be still (ugh) the rest of the night. God, this is so frustrating. And disappointing.",3.1112023460410576,4.152764425219947,4.886198240469209,84.32529736070384,73.36950146627565,8.271249266862169,25.956715542522,8.726425361277474,1.6703294076246338,1283,42,281,24,25,438,182,341,0.11,0.7929999999999999,0.097,-0.768,3,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,1,6,12,13,2,2,27,1,32,6,2,5,2,46,57,18,0,3,7,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,8,12,1,3,10,2,4,5,7,9,0,3,17,2,31,4,45,36,14,54,0,2,0,1,4,19,1,5,28,182,39,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668141776350006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520697405985965,0.10054669104355447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536044773545291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373177896367261,0.08006228557367745,0.1753568900425477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848049433558591,0.0,0.10650969992238783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143655001707053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754629139735954,0.07655858461955417,0.0,0.0,0.247358725042414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492810625424371,0.1981554047280689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090394458990411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16312418217952884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864670141505912,0.15029221197568784,0.0,0.1634856941135965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618325495496488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10824562469527213,0.0,0.10008192302852452,0.28546145819008384,0.0,0.0,0.19970472082496965,0.052697412591657465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09610473959231383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727389131838926,0.0,0.08152035598545987,0.0,0.0,0.06400583334097075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048854645491201,0.07109956900398351,0.0,0.277827027260949,0.0,0.2699525392262175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497603686686644,0.0,0.10203135151333724,0.0,0.0,0.10383711442237854,0.0,0.0,0.08372550518959113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591372201681103,0.0,0.061428163001879185,0.09858860116550268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000318600270749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095957022426736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573971912167426,0.10220360819526532,0.15315219943863784,0.08016647215234655,0.0,0.10024272024994957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09966411135975824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12288202686240995,0.0,0.2283725439901691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16563249852957726,0.2112136710068598,0.07911745525442729,0.05655709313174277,0.0,0.0,0.1167654757133,0.0,0.0,0.0865238011256565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980744107020086,0.09737868841488233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,redviolentreddd,2019/01/12,"Approaching Mania? How does your mania appear? Does it come on suddenly? Or can you feel it creeping up? At what point do you alert your psychiatrist if it’s creeping up? ",1.6403125000000005,4.381804906250004,3.1310000000000002,84.01400000000002,93.6875,6.3100000000000005,22.025,7.554174236665415,1.583205,135,5,24,3,5,44,24,32,0.0,0.905,0.095,0.4871,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,6,5,3,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,4,5,0,9,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,3,1,17,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38699687092693696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7862992025973767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22715886235154845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4246949930746057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,MixedMania,2019/01/12,"Bipolar Meds & Sleepiness Temporary? Just wanting to hear people's experiences. What meds are you on & did they make you sleepy at first? Did the sleepiness wear off over time as your body grew accustomed to the med? How long did it take? I'm on Lamictal (300 mg) and struggle to stay awake for even 12 hours at a time. I've been on this dose for over a month and the sleepiness is intense. I'm just wondering if it'll get better over time.",2.707893258426968,4.728740505617981,3.200435393258428,91.93188904494384,76.52808988764046,6.6971910112359545,24.608146067415728,7.6454224807358475,1.0653247191011237,351,12,75,5,8,109,63,89,0.027000000000000003,0.914,0.06,0.4329,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,1,2,4,2,0,1,5,0,7,4,2,2,0,9,15,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,4,1,4,1,15,10,0,18,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,2,7,42,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3820565141173419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15592896609891949,0.0,0.19583702000381886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644892552717935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17246180240498055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499664056507408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09211298421504716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19871048660481927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17362660455112766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15602589882341872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768610439697658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5875110600114565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14072634154425082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12222888030500376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18791950476983293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18431406364989855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13256071151959312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084175981115769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399027118722394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911971166973339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,red_sky_at_morning,2019/01/13,"I lost my reason today. Whenever I'm in a deep depression with suicidal ideation, I can always justify people moving on after I'm gone. My three main reasons I struggled to justify are my dogs and my cat. Recently I've been justifying the dogs too. They're a bonded pair, they love my husband, and he could care for them if I was no longer here. But there was one reason I couldn't justify. My cat, Georgie. Georgie hates every person except me. He's also asthmatic and requires medication that he would only let me administer. If I left him behind, how would he survive without his medication? He'd be alone. I took him to the vet this morning after he was still struggling to breathe even after his asthma meds. The vet came in and said heart failure. I decided the best option was to let him go. I held him as they administered the medication and until I felt him go limp. I get his ashes back in a couple of weeks. My reason is gone. And I want to go too.",2.539040935672517,4.7299150210526335,4.487719298245619,81.68847953216378,77.73684210526315,7.380116959064328,25.292397660818715,8.344100000000001,1.8505730994152048,754,28,144,15,18,257,115,190,0.135,0.799,0.066,-0.9042,0,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,3,4,9,8,1,2,8,0,16,7,2,5,0,28,34,13,1,7,5,1,2,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,2,8,0,2,6,0,0,8,3,5,0,2,13,3,33,3,20,13,2,23,0,2,0,1,21,6,0,3,9,101,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477949465208672,0.0,0.09634669250370834,0.10024784613511277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264060632621393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643485725114278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13779542197900402,0.12283596168237305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961923582791441,0.13330727882276766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376804122247492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957497871833086,0.0,0.10150841629002008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567834910092173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294509567530117,0.0,0.2054122936028387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894767425867735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14276772050605094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309003508876965,0.2463950613560454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151662332571906,0.0,0.10873663986005228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338245641040969,0.3641085420568284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280496846542948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163941704141824,0.09162940390409227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352469123268927,0.10519726601949797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4954882639316433,0.1189580823736321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460273745959346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621436520051338,0.0,0.0,0.2519007818411603,0.0,0.1317840334004555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419962514648567,0.0,0.13385615704274248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106139948629579,0.0,0.09664066537311747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11613707064274485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17116908078985713,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,sociopath_in_me,2019/01/13,"It's over My brother gave up the fight and killed himself. He was very depressed, officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder and in a very bad state. We tried multiple terapists, letting him living alone, letting him living with us and nothing worked. He did not want to fight and made plans about making plans which he simply ignored later. There was nothing we could do and yet I feel like there was something we did not think of and should have done. We totally fucked up and couldn't support him the way he needed it. It fucking sucks, everything fucking sucks. Our society fucking sucks at dealing with people like him. Fuck it.",5.764801932367147,7.857272417391307,5.0924637681159455,81.31077294685994,68.30434782608697,7.545893719806764,32.77777777777778,8.167268648758528,2.6163140096618362,508,23,85,7,9,153,76,115,0.308,0.657,0.035,-0.9892,0,1,1,0,2,0,13.0,6,0,0,3,4,17,11,0,3,0,13,7,0,2,1,27,29,7,1,5,2,1,1,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,14,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,14,0,0,8,1,13,3,11,16,1,9,0,1,0,5,20,5,8,0,4,58,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402827266375191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309297701374565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814378066457253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13964039064458594,0.11666070455815733,0.13747632750960953,0.0,0.0,0.15523453140658253,0.0,0.0,0.1386097847456169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121731449327827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848630888255462,0.09676369724311283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6260950017628363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985255364371106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770084230058774,0.0,0.1323455809851489,0.0,0.23920518914069105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816366793314826,0.0904122357600533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043258027720324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25993099459064617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390221895310898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427407719670323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15370418003673808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08678926750451173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09195993885456848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16292662518111395,0.0,0.0,0.2235166903957776,0.07989042515687785,0.10751189447133523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09860736889750032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,redcapris,2019/01/13,"depression makes me feel so crazy and irrational im scared to even talk about it in real life I have spent the majority of the past three years depressed, with a few periods of mania and normalcy interspersed here and there. A common pattern - I will go into therapy of some kind, talk about how I'm depressed, I'm sad all the time, feel like nothing ever helps me, meds never work, I want to kill myself and the only thing stopping me is fear it won't work. Get frustrated at all their suggestions, walk out feeling worse than I did going in. Then my meds will get adjusted or I'll cycle back up again and feel absolutely fine, and quit therapy until the next crisis. Because of this, I'm sure my chart is covered with notes about how I'm a difficult patient, irrational, dramatic, draining, argumentative and I have have clinicians suggest I have borderline pd or at least traits of it. The thing is when I'm euthymic I'm not like this at all. I may be a little more sensitive than the average person but other than that I'm perfectly normal. Anyway, my point is that I always get embarrassed by how melodramatic I get during depressive episodes and because of this I am scared to go back to therapy and repeat this pattern. I already have a lot of difficulty opening up to people and have always found therapy insanely difficult, and this just makes it worse. I also *know* at this point I'm being irrational and I don't need anyone to point it out to me, but I also don't know what to do when I feel like this that doesn't involve professional help. I'm not sure why I'm posting this, just hoping to hear any advice anyone has or if anyone else feels the same way? I literally feel like depression turns me into a completely different person and I hate it.",6.428245614035088,6.572896298245619,7.295374269005848,73.21534210526316,65.54970760233918,10.933567251461987,32.88947368421053,10.686352973137794,3.554997192982456,1402,54,257,35,20,470,173,342,0.194,0.722,0.085,-0.9881,1,0,0,0,0,1,32.0,0,0,1,4,21,25,3,4,14,0,23,1,0,5,8,64,59,29,1,5,10,0,7,4,0,4,1,1,0,2,21,20,0,1,11,0,1,4,7,15,0,1,3,8,27,10,38,50,10,40,0,6,0,0,11,17,0,8,21,174,48,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07889936863092069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909992472890453,0.12913742095530664,0.13436629706530498,0.0,0.0,0.05490678644179976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693683783680446,0.08272890352716111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241700017490758,0.0,0.09843817527683074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846556146679076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34771139706063553,0.0,0.0,0.08435737173582886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06744891421375084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053328802770594014,0.07303504019295841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908563002161995,0.2857762459414174,0.17304459362174748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08852856107328927,0.0,0.0,0.1687357833685999,0.0,0.13766125820750846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797152215775663,0.0,0.0,0.09100120332260014,0.0,0.10823825218424384,0.0,0.0,0.08019423224770776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721435397260377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893281777748619,0.08407953762499319,0.08874650667118453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05702989913508636,0.1577842926062797,0.08092389639175522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864328304276435,0.0,0.0,0.10779075928461117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17937054837877298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059868578594400285,0.062272592914308075,0.0,0.08586918486021734,0.0,0.07910923548101673,0.07747336141229771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06140732284811514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707661385496158,0.055975783556154006,0.1410002073997964,0.0,0.0,0.228979602709836,0.0,0.07732775307643333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587820750231116,0.0,0.09190116495716848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616720582618474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750326065154715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15219525566888392,0.0,0.0,0.12979344031310305,0.0,0.0,0.3693384069510354,0.0,0.10728173450390877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0470808444881521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782324291282616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0476232531738533,0.06408860836019978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285637677617149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756111410326928,0.0,0.16456436654676393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05199468721325848 bipolarreddit,sam2times,2019/01/14,How do we get through the normal stages of life like this? I’ve [19F] been recently diagnosed as bipolar and I really struggle with seeing a future for myself. I’m in college and I’ve lost all motivation this month. I don’t see myself getting married because I keep causing problems in my relationship. I don’t see myself having kids because I don’t want to give them the mental illness that I have. How the fuck do we move forward from here? My dog saves my life every day. And if it weren’t for her I would have nothing. ,1.95844155844156,4.338987285714288,3.6412987012987017,85.95779220779222,80.90476190476191,5.7229437229437226,25.73593073593073,6.980632752743323,1.2820476190476184,415,17,79,5,11,138,71,105,0.138,0.8009999999999999,0.061,-0.8382,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,2,0,1,2,3,6,1,1,4,0,11,6,0,4,1,18,22,7,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,1,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,3,3,17,2,10,18,1,9,0,1,3,1,7,3,1,1,6,54,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322463761599165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19568949817371548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285267381431145,0.0,0.0,0.19334709007555773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049915355755173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17610835100789846,0.19905018609729214,0.18273890975571447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16931954834464466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691026600125697,0.09306559693358472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20794637030112506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919728394795797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152050249548849,0.2024646502375421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866433749871836,0.1827838375338985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822767389188584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203513857840625,0.0,0.18808954200652409,0.2045189376378789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4553964336885344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19914537012615488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235811654847816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13532125505487394,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,misshapenbonsai,2019/01/14,"Could psychiatrists diagnose teens with bipolar back in the late 90s / early 2000s? Hey, so I just crashed into depression hard and fast and it got me thinking, when I was a teen and obviously showing signs of bipolar, my parents would threaten to send me to a psychiatrist if I didn't smarten up. I always told them ""yes send me please I need help"" in fewer words and they would punish me. What I'm wondering is, would it have done any good? I'm currently feeling extremely bitter towards them for not getting me the help I obviously needed, setting me back years and resulting in a failed career, but is that bitterness justified? Thanks for any input you guys can provide",5.091840000000001,7.139092304000004,5.616199999999999,77.06110000000002,69.96000000000001,8.840000000000002,32.5,9.3871,3.23372,538,25,93,12,10,173,90,125,0.128,0.733,0.139,0.3271,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,3,1,5,7,3,0,5,1,11,3,0,1,2,25,22,9,0,7,4,1,2,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,4,7,0,0,3,1,0,2,2,5,0,0,5,4,17,2,12,13,0,17,0,2,0,0,12,6,0,2,8,62,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716715490421604,0.0,0.0,0.2568960698767162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904812639120185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15080901841904776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16268606695987087,0.1917139375022024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932945699910223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550575127160596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868443047771053,0.0,0.0,0.15842747767773094,0.1510683046155972,0.0,0.0,0.1870254937982404,0.0,0.0,0.16920354015128922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25321079049063444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21307010548208227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28011114011032623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097340439884359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2073386179370456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738996025912113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102965294194995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18048737165810932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20483733895980466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4025346948460122,0.0,0.0,0.12163551780355683 bipolarreddit,Paranoia_Incognito,2019/01/14,"I don't have Bipolar! I have a neurological disorder called, ""Kaksisuuntainen mielialahäiriö"". It's usually treated with the same meds they use for epilepsy. The perfect way to not freak people out if you have to tell them you are bipolar. ""Kaksisuuntainen mielialahäiriö"", means Bipolar in Finnish. No one I know understands Finnish and no one gives a shit enough to actually look it up. So everything in the title is technically true but it doesn't immediately invoke fear and prejudice. So to all my friends who also have, ""Kaksisuuntainen mielialahäiriö"", I hope you are all doing well. ​ Pro Tip: Google translate is your friend, it will say the word for you so you can learn how to pronounce it.",5.643104212860307,8.371036089430895,5.271722099039174,77.1830155210643,70.21951219512195,8.375166297117516,32.320029563931996,9.095868883498916,3.098421138211382,561,26,95,12,11,172,83,123,0.086,0.733,0.181,0.9305,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,6,2,1,6,11,2,1,6,0,13,5,1,2,4,20,20,9,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,1,4,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,4,1,2,0,2,13,7,12,19,4,6,0,0,1,0,15,4,1,2,1,69,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.19894684044081348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16303405160623566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20817315268299452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23365165957808484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21065128568780853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18322440825873,0.0,0.0,0.2294094249152776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150175334597391,0.0,0.0,0.19556982466160136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20248802403015573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204112984036227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17119870454731947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22207322433665866,0.2264526194242689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762939668223956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413371696210644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16212489698520868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20926870916372128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17819058584349404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21223493073040084,0.0,0.17607745201207328,0.2245330194929295,0.0,0.0,0.1618218082020519,0.0,0.0,0.18330281133170406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,wellshii18,2019/01/14,"Fuck Fuck.Thats right.Fuck. I got back on the road as a truck driver and already want to quit .Just started this trip Sat with many delays. Waiting on disptach for several fucking hours. Fuck.Good fkn pay but for what? Lose my shit on some fkn idiot that drives like shit and end up in jail or shot by racist asshole trigger happy cops? Recommmend me a job someone.If not.Im.getting my engineering or writing degree. M I was hoping to save enough to start a trucking business.Maybe not. 12 gauge from Walmart sounds pretty fkn good right now.",1.5433131067961163,4.264236310679614,1.8138288834951448,93.52423847087375,93.6601941747573,3.7400485436893214,21.97148058252428,5.602791699666715,0.2398936893203887,432,16,80,3,16,130,83,103,0.209,0.594,0.197,-0.3632,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,3,11,5,0,4,0,1,4,2,1,0,16,10,6,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,6,0,0,3,1,5,5,14,7,2,16,0,1,0,2,1,7,4,4,8,38,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15536536732607736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825889018044528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469823266764415,0.14547380044693525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6507908562792114,0.0735570120959132,0.0,0.0,0.2361760986095572,0.11260269787368778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987367075755573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398363285772336,0.1386498804698735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207745890120147,0.0,0.13971244189553694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878292729664721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15750810007159033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273905525920108,0.14144257073984576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432341383651386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974759287954015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404679383552014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15905272948635935,0.289038012156152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993039033109185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304164391979804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,behindmywall,2019/01/14,"Anxiety level: 1,000,000 - Husband's surprise Christmas present For Christmas my husband bought me a 6 week training program at a local boxing club. I've never done class-like exercising, so I was pretty concerned that my social anxiety would be a problem. I was right. The training program includes a strict meal plan and weekly weigh-ins. If you lose 20 lbs in 6 weeks then you get all your money back. Unfortunately, it's triggered my eating disorder and now I'm restricting like a mofo. The first class I went to, I had to sit out part of the time because I almost passed out. I've done 3 classes so far and it's incredibly embarrassing when I have to take a break to sit down while everyone else is still up and punching their bags. I know I shouldn't compare myself to everyone else, because I'm just a beginner and they might not be, but I can't help it. I think it's sending me into a depressive state. All I want to do is sleep and not think about going to class or eating... &nbsp; TL;DR: My husband bought me a 6 week boxing training program and it's triggered my mental state and my eating disorder... Has anyone dealt with this sort of thing??",4.81805,6.085003724444442,5.680152777777781,79.38556250000002,69.53333333333333,8.113888888888889,31.39583333333333,8.472884824447931,2.4867833333333333,918,39,168,14,16,301,134,225,0.111,0.8540000000000001,0.035,-0.911,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,3,2,3,8,6,0,1,12,0,16,6,1,2,3,34,28,16,0,5,6,3,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,8,12,4,1,3,2,3,4,5,4,0,1,8,0,26,2,19,15,3,35,0,2,0,0,11,11,1,5,16,108,34,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825302465807875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13877398351858988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195960790930137,0.0,0.0,0.08955609907537998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848515779019017,0.0,0.1561520349223838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103146052108968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935801924405281,0.0,0.0,0.2621394023033257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39317162397122174,0.21398781881446474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447707234194549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10894427780768684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06691620365557252,0.0,0.07279047835058645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858489264326598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703890922906009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06257312851434606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14328809451979393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907391723487413,0.13587201016075873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987827341995758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13869751607925393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303028018698518,0.0,0.12255469459552422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937911340546648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12817190399583414,0.13056082558846835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228437954182802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09629977406945907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850902665844682,0.16413622423358953,0.0,0.0,0.0746841319641936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554455242397587,0.0,0.4109502973115704,0.0,0.0,0.11873089307247148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098393565684593,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,turtlequeen2005,2019/01/15,CBD Oil Has anyone tried CBD oil to help with their anxiety? My meds don't seem to be keeping my anxiety in check and my doctor already has me on the max amount of anti anxiety meds. I've heard positive things about CBD oil.,2.5456521739130444,4.37885595652174,4.029782608695655,86.65380434782612,76.39130434782608,8.078260869565218,24.54347826086957,8.841846274778883,1.7919304347826082,178,6,37,4,4,59,35,46,0.14300000000000002,0.735,0.122,0.2263,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,4,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,5,0,7,5,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,19,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765128362758629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5750615214279652,0.0,0.0,0.17520602409966193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564714338144474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16795337479840852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22272023161755192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5566588212894579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22811167076907785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16646914561672185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17012218821553265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,maroontheanchor,2019/01/15,"A Step In The Right Direction I have a job interview coming up on Thursday I finally got a job in August delivering pizza and it took 11 months from the job prior to that. I’m going to be back in an office setting and it feels so good. Cheers.",-0.1477310924369739,2.158815235294121,2.984761904761907,86.64000000000001,92.72549019607844,6.0515406162464975,19.050420168067227,7.447530270364453,0.8861126050420167,191,6,39,4,7,68,39,51,0.0,0.858,0.142,0.7975,3,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,8,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,2,8,5,0,17,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,6,25,5,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927248269485025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21590208092826985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126729890517014,0.0,0.0,0.2745612162021033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14244311181895508,0.21022290944435096,0.20045776772207186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7461573680089427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20005652395377388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21404312259678265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784675718897404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,flat_uranus_society,2019/01/15,"Question While I’m not bipolar, a character in a story that I’m writing is. I want an accurate depiction of what it’s like though, so here’s my question: The character is a prosecutor who was falsely accused of abusing her toddler daughter. While she is extremely stressed, it takes a turn for the worst when she hits a manic phase. What would that accurately be like?",5.419285714285714,6.86519092857143,6.221428571428575,75.39357142857145,68.28571428571428,9.6,38.285714285714285,9.888512548439397,4.1215142857142855,295,17,52,7,5,97,50,70,0.168,0.743,0.08800000000000001,-0.7713,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,8,0,6,1,0,0,0,6,12,5,0,2,1,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,5,2,4,8,1,4,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,2,5,38,12,0,0.0,0.3384331703857592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790956475269975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6399576847750027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32719625042816325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21476349703736825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806369296837881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31069106365154736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684761196739014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029083493154751,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ThisIsIt_123,2019/01/15,Any one have long term experience with epival/depakote I’m 24/male and currently on it. I’m loosing hair and really concerned it could get worse. ,1.9192857142857136,4.75181378571429,3.5757142857142874,81.89428571428573,89.7142857142857,7.085714285714286,24.857142857142854,8.07648339933343,2.232185714285715,118,5,21,3,4,39,24,28,0.119,0.8809999999999999,0.0,-0.4767,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,4,5,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034832112354921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563153396239113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4365438892985585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233160965636366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3949405129359333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3024083942863273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858960477294025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4547937117708093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,thegrandmaofdeath,2019/01/15,"Are you always supposed to be in an episode? With and without medication. And can you have wine?",1.4566666666666668,4.094020222222227,2.483333333333338,87.94500000000002,96.77777777777777,4.622222222222223,28.222222222222214,6.42735559955562,1.5420888888888893,76,4,14,1,3,24,16,18,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,4,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,13,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5124566320674929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6204284160478418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5936807061126447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,sloth-four,2019/01/15,Help I want to be off med I am in first year uni and was diagnosed bipolar I in November after hospitalization for a manic episode. I am just in the first months of treatment and my meds make me feel awful. I feel nothing compared to what I used to. Everything feels grey and worthless. I’d rather be depressed than this empty. Does it get better? Will my symptoms like sedation and nausea from meds improve? I am tempted to just stop taking the medication and try and deal with it all on my own. ,3.041672394043527,5.276473556701035,4.184467353951892,84.25844215349373,76.31958762886596,6.785337915234822,27.27262313860252,7.793537801064563,1.7349825887743409,393,16,75,6,9,128,69,97,0.127,0.74,0.133,-0.264,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,3,4,0,0,3,1,7,4,0,2,1,18,15,6,0,2,3,0,3,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,4,11,2,15,11,2,11,0,2,1,0,2,5,0,0,7,53,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16205852530436846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18890963844179826,0.15782204143598474,0.18598203001484864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16035221986649129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646818944960283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779508949272261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117231538563272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573394063169224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228201179597903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952050240573979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231233878182005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6106060879353364,0.18459232963158434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14625828640249156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758211574075104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15319461038193616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19045374330312415,0.1377716659041705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12440611716965247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15825821816510158,0.0,0.0,0.10807812311095444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799883105918095 bipolarreddit,Citative,2019/01/15,"Pro’s and Con’s of common medications for Bipolar II? I’m going to likely be on med’s soon, and I want to know: what are the pro’s and con’s of the medications in terms of what it does for you vs the side effects? I know that finding the right dosage and medicine is like throwing darts blindfolded, but I just want to have a general idea of the medications before I get started with this process",3.5540650406504035,4.693211073170737,4.705853658536586,85.66577235772358,72.41463414634146,7.90569105691057,28.300813008130078,8.344100000000001,1.7762861788617887,316,12,68,5,6,104,54,82,0.0,0.935,0.065,0.4039,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,6,0,4,4,0,1,0,16,12,5,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,12,11,1,10,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,6,39,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19345376197088807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19895105076369432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077891164777611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877832497911313,0.0,0.12920534370737655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25664471535694755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24988561879904356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22213846535264015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525289285020778,0.6870781952447974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941512992110671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16091588770763351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681878202296795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Joyful_Desecration,2019/01/15,Ssi and bipolar Has anyone here tried applying for ssi because of bipolar prior? I'm just trying to find something to calm my anxiety about it cause I'm in the waiting period. ,2.491176470588236,5.275364294117646,4.383823529411767,78.77220588235295,82.52941176470588,6.929411764705884,29.088235294117645,8.07648339933343,2.711788235294118,142,7,23,3,4,48,29,34,0.05,0.882,0.068,0.1531,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,5,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,13,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31839342787412295,0.0,0.0,0.2910181494604245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537129056913364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4275541518955399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38040113215338905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3204126706941648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5651477413639671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Cactusauce,2019/01/15,"Does lamictal rashes itch? I have some faded redish rashes on my chest. I don't know how long they've been there. I've been on 200 mg for a few months now. I'm gonna keep an eye on it and if it gets worse I'm going to my doctor, just want to know if lamictal rashes itch, because mine doesn't.",0.34090909090908994,1.8216558181818208,2.645454545454548,95.68818181818185,81.72727272727272,5.612121212121212,15.545454545454547,6.42735559955562,-0.6344363636363637,228,3,56,2,6,78,46,66,0.053,0.925,0.022,-0.4215,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,5,8,7,1,0,10,14,4,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,5,0,6,11,2,8,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,3,4,29,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213274089561945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3716230820090817,0.3177297508818595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18969192402307766,0.0,0.20634413093655926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32271811978628523,0.0,0.0,0.3990735163509277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213103255470202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898033400582953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141512924511651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700048761761784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,TheGreatFadoodler,2019/01/15,Treatment for bipolar depression Ive been diagnosed with bipolar. I struggle with psychosis primarily in the form of delusions. They tell me this is mania even though i dont experience the typical symptoms like endless energy. Well ive been put on a latuda (an antipsychotic) and depercote to combat the delusions. My problem is im horridly depressed now. I spoke to my doctor about what we can do for depression and he said whatever treatment we pick its going to be a long time till it works. My question is what treatments have been effective for managing your bipolar depression? This is a long battle thats starting to feel unsurmountable. Any input would be greatly appreciated. ,7.012718089990816,9.113835157024797,7.499614325068872,65.24012855831039,65.19834710743802,10.667033976124886,39.890725436179984,10.746095033038511,5.172663177226814,558,32,81,16,9,183,85,121,0.197,0.705,0.098,-0.9247,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,2,1,1,2,5,10,1,1,7,0,16,6,0,2,0,12,21,4,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,6,2,0,0,7,6,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,7,1,0,5,3,13,3,14,13,1,10,0,4,0,0,9,2,0,1,7,62,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631567099276435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.589279206916392,0.1736058888712074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17507060963393584,0.0,0.0,0.200462097046162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297283777620967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16731368827566484,0.0,0.0,0.08648490066941078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972081513401939,0.0,0.0,0.1885764284391798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847566896539603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356337647838727,0.0,0.0,0.3027368174822926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636658470949172,0.0,0.17194629362055638,0.19160823687842604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16270185272132195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106570453271615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17881215063451986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17778003279321042,0.0,0.0,0.14949984808848413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16804969634387878,0.0,0.09973703384280416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15378894636078427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12452194670027825,0.0,0.0,0.12150463065044395,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,thegratefuldab,2019/01/15,Imo r/bipolar has become too mainstream How many people on r/bipolar actually have that condition? Seems like a good percentage of the posts on there are just people complaining about stuff everyone will go through at some point. Seems like some are self diagnosed and are just trying to fit into the whole “being bipolar is cool” fad. It’s not fun or cool when you hurt people are actually permanently damage your future and loose friends. I can get the humor appeal of that sub but I mean come on. This disease isn’t something that should be taken lightly. Even one of my coping mechanisms is humor but half the stuff in there is just dumb shit.,4.311322314049587,6.778224429752068,4.595867768595042,81.70471074380167,73.29752066115702,7.375206611570247,25.876033057851238,8.296473431620573,1.8736214876033064,520,18,91,9,11,163,88,121,0.139,0.725,0.136,-0.6543,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,0,10,14,2,0,5,2,15,3,1,1,0,18,22,7,0,1,7,0,0,2,1,2,2,0,0,1,7,4,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,5,0,2,1,3,5,9,12,17,3,13,0,2,0,0,5,8,2,5,4,64,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.3349289427775181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895273476251561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14782493625733334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741783185293774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334534243795365,0.0,0.0,0.16397862002513586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13258377112734362,0.0,0.0896579997760434,0.0,0.09752867519571982,0.1439364922043847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837097137797668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767781899887801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739833881204255,0.0,0.18693121760935755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628589576817365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569137516192385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162224852437928,0.0,0.16435284868684166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31245061679981545,0.17902437590090511,0.0,0.17615295463179986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13211207893995225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3928997796181796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11651044082941105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19159399546169006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,thatonejessica,2019/01/16,Remind me again why I need to take my meds?! I’m so fucking miffed right now I want to stop all together and ride this train all the way to manic city.,0.7690909090909095,2.3561877272727294,2.287878787878789,98.2518181818182,80.81818181818181,5.612121212121212,17.060606060606062,6.42735559955562,-0.537012121212121,117,2,29,1,3,38,28,33,0.078,0.8809999999999999,0.041,-0.2942,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,6,5,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,3,5,2,6,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,15,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3647495667300631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4382494360093622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925493738054833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33693841685561576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3298564471895705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29664798340644993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327122711394037,0.3131706595351669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3560145890218097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,sabrinaiscute9,2019/01/16,"First time posting on reddit... need help/advice/inspiration for dealing with a bipolar depressive episode Hello there. I am 23 years old and officially got diagnosed with bipolar type 1 about a year and a half ago after being hospitalized from a month-long manic episode. after that, I was on EI for 4 months and had to take a break from school. Basically, it ruined my life. The meds helped me remain stable, with a little bit of depression here and there.. nothing major. For the past 5 weeks, I have fallen into a deep depression. I am crying on the floor, feeling physically paralyzed, can't see my friends, and having very dark thoughts. I saw my psychiatrist and therapist last week and we upped my meds. I am now on 200mg Lamictal, 60mg Latuda, and 100 mg Modafinil. I also started light therapy, work out 4 days a week, take vit d, iron, and omega 3s, meditate, and am starting CBT therapy next week. I feel like I'm doing all of the right things.. which is why i feel SO frustrated that nothing seems to be working. Oh, and I got my hormonal IUD taken out as my naturopath said it might be causing my mood problems. I don't want to die. There is so much more I want to do in life. But being severely depressed is no way to live. People with bipolar... what med combos are you on? What other therapy has worked for you? How did you get better? I need some hope in my life right now... Thanks all in advance. It was hard for me to post this.",3.2181914893617005,5.117131475177307,4.4329255319148935,84.20875000000002,74.67375886524823,7.536879432624112,26.289007092198574,8.344100000000001,1.7849900709219857,1124,41,221,20,24,369,177,282,0.14300000000000002,0.794,0.063,-0.967,0,1,0,0,0,1,52.0,1,3,0,6,11,13,1,0,12,0,24,7,0,2,2,37,47,17,1,6,1,0,4,1,1,1,7,1,0,0,11,19,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,7,0,2,10,8,27,5,35,32,7,44,0,5,2,0,9,17,0,4,22,139,38,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821251717717264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408904734592002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193794072559572,0.10114553876402944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951730583677692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176738317292784,0.059749065763287076,0.09551405412375756,0.3191837776405003,0.09403383452219932,0.0961520179214535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405339454397678,0.06618638757046406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880471963910618,0.0,0.0,0.07157814187082646,0.0,0.048403759926697605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481950883994449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299270205628037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241974468964108,0.0,0.0,0.0920184749845118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551893135499126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19631602672078116,0.045262201455126605,0.09285572449615664,0.08180819774566228,0.08198887717462823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087267722939401,0.0,0.0,0.09828286425856586,0.0,0.0,0.14789845556556494,0.0,0.06810553857715587,0.13739180854629526,0.0,0.0,0.09853017127957084,0.0,0.0,0.17779285041505788,0.0,0.09721649017588738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844117918600541,0.06422913586840445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774586952860484,0.0,0.0,0.08864979916710347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15823851494995372,0.08812765047735348,0.0,0.0,0.0937627925660815,0.07382694143596501,0.08434152380325538,0.0,0.10466371477548714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13115076337978984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13931666443737786,0.0,0.0,0.08529607532238145,0.317846645652762,0.10756925502705998,0.06154994770852201,0.0,0.0,0.07355064941713353,0.054022682047767175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644272966251972,0.1092901324205782,0.07353815654683549,0.2972604309003977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835986890320523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20234237801258265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932209313712827 bipolarreddit,kavkazskayakoshka,2019/01/16,"Just casually sharing my life-story I never share my genuine and real problems with anyone close to me and I just want to get some things off my chest. Disclaimer: Don't be stupid and go off your medication in a single day without anybody watching it like I did. This could seriously harm you, don't do it, learn from my mistakes. Also try not to lie if that's a problem for you. &#x200B; When I was 14 my mother first took me to a GP to ask for a referral to a children's psychiatrist. From there on it was a whirlwind of seeing different psychiatrists and receiving different diagnoses. 2 years later it was agreed that I had bipolar II and I was put on medication and sent to therapy. &#x200B; I'm not sure how medication worked for me, I was prescribed some mood-stabilisers and I took them, and after I was asked how they work for me I said yeah, they are great, despite not feeling any difference at all. Therapy didn't help me either, I'm a self-diagnosed compulsive liar and therapy did nothing for me because I just lied to my therapist about a bunch of trivial things, so I never allowed her to get close. I think I lie mostly because I don't like people getting to know too much about me and my life, though often I also just lie for no reason at all. I'm not a sociopath or psychopath, I do experience emotions very much and sometimes I get angry at myself for lying to people I care about. &#x200B; For some reason, at some point when I was 17 I just could not manage to call my psychiatrist nor my therapist for another appointment. My mother, who is a supportive and kind person normally, who however always stigmatised and made fun of me for mental health issues (despite having some herself), refused to call them for me on the basis that I'm 17, I should be able to do this for myself now. &#x200B; So, I never went back to my psychiatrist and that meant no more pharmacy recipes for my medication. That's how I uncontrolledly went off my mood-stabilisers. It was a whirlwind and it pushed me right back to the start of my problems. Don't do this. This is stupid and dangerous and not recommended by ANYBODY. &#x200B; Since then I have learned to control myself better and I have learned coping methods that help me. I still know I am going through phases of depression and hypomania and rapid-cycling. I am learning methods that help me push through it. I believe I'm at a point in my life where I have the will and drive to get help and medication again, but I try to cope. I'm turning 21 soon and currently enrolled half-time at an online university. I study in English, which is not my native language, but I enjoy it very much and it's a field I am very very interested in. I have a boyfriend who is older than me and financially supports me. I am a supportive family that I could always come back to running, if I dropped out of university it would not be the end of the world. Even though I dropped out of high school right before graduation (because I stood no chance at ever passing the math final) I could get a job and not worry about money, thanks to my family's circumstances. &#x200B; Now I mostly suffer from the 'side effect' symptoms of BP II, (as I like to call them): delusions, emotional intensity, binging on various things and irritability. I sometimes get bouts of feelings of guilt for things that are long done with, or just for no reason. I feel highly emotional about wasting food, money, other things. Which can be a challenge when you experience hypomania sometimes, lol. &#x200B; Thank you for reading if you came this far, I hope you're coping well. I'm not sure whether I ever told my story this honestly.",5.775371208832103,6.708112954350932,6.479366433045964,75.75130543323205,67.10271041369471,9.348148607579237,33.070799479005146,9.488314112642756,3.105479042361844,2915,125,526,57,46,958,300,701,0.091,0.794,0.115,0.9672,6,0,2,0,0,0,104.0,0,6,5,7,41,38,4,2,25,2,48,13,1,10,9,114,95,50,0,16,26,2,3,3,0,3,11,1,0,2,36,35,1,2,15,2,2,16,24,14,1,1,24,6,96,24,86,60,17,78,0,2,2,0,36,32,0,14,31,397,132,13,0.044661041289051316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0714308371665291,0.07432312814782811,0.3387315370425081,0.3798763749253688,0.0303710395689176,0.04683099585949562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03122803849023732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350408961569965,0.0,0.0,0.10302475196917027,0.0,0.08167486872302218,0.0,0.038003256695861284,0.05031769976000085,0.0,0.03949906167914205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368117496796594,0.05108033339751936,0.045534908096559086,0.0,0.0,0.03847153251166458,0.0,0.0,0.05009115541109314,0.142632829469211,0.0,0.0,0.02880267691567657,0.0,0.03846648941979503,0.09066003360170692,0.0,0.13998384758691604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0457037512210406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071298071509606,0.03955642648274155,0.0,0.0,0.02949819656310636,0.08079693747762956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08737413632523969,0.0842049099928616,0.0,0.06774589316966527,0.0,0.0,0.048923987717703885,0.0,0.037988658905363536,0.05400430840376118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333485529919375,0.0,0.05076379795733652,0.0,0.0,0.04923895568850531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04747259844581792,0.0,0.0,0.11974141824681872,0.09437368436640096,0.0,0.044358491156202974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04661452380296553,0.04431919216766169,0.0,0.0,0.04650760187634943,0.049089080610659135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463624273908497,0.06545738657249374,0.0,0.0,0.03952361613980136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042259357126502535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249565025943726,0.04500782523034715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849301233817563,0.0,0.10333604492393353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04375833802634806,0.042853473631789214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619246853606024,0.038996298596932016,0.0,0.0,0.08443823948486401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282037547247445,0.0,0.04489668195787218,0.0,0.0,0.04467312720109682,0.05083404253320017,0.0,0.13775696619320302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0762805704741321,0.042482877541435184,0.0,0.0,0.045199358123718926,0.035589067622865726,0.0,0.046591206275662864,0.0,0.0,0.036944074868769584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325127354442216,0.0,0.03161131489350852,0.0,0.03566636526445528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520424611925945,0.08418500574643521,0.04641992230661627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223577283765075,0.15322137888711965,0.10370982237209042,0.1483540567018078,0.028616991924215355,0.08775849262000171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04267553885856624,0.09924012032991657,0.06064383081504219,0.048578388181639065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740014538435406,0.0263422392799623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040155639694294296,0.0828024654295531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043051650069670495,0.0,0.06502753993772784,0.045355455327565526,0.0,0.03172592234386807,0.0,0.3798763749253688,0.028760246320392837 bipolarreddit,lhr00001,2019/01/16,"What is going on?? Mostly rant and confusion. So. I live in the UK with free healthcare and all that jazz, problem is I'm supposed to get repeat prescriptions weekly to my local pharmacy and they just don't arrive. Most weeks I have to phone the surgery to chase them up and now I'm essentially going cold turkey from lamotrigene, sertraline and also meds for thyroid. It usually takes 24-48 hours for a prescription to be ready to pick up if they actually remember to do it. My bf is putting in an official complaint tomorrow but not sure if it'll do anything. Am I being unreasonable wanting to complain? My head is kind of fuzzy at the moment and I feel like hell. Probably withdrawal? I don't know.",2.572888888888887,5.25865902962963,4.265185185185185,80.51333333333336,80.92592592592592,8.044444444444443,27.51851851851852,8.841846274778883,2.735207407407408,559,25,101,15,15,187,97,135,0.141,0.799,0.059,-0.91,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,3,0,4,8,1,1,5,0,13,2,1,1,2,23,22,11,0,4,5,0,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,3,1,1,3,3,4,0,0,0,2,11,5,19,19,3,18,1,0,0,0,6,7,1,5,9,69,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.21700811329848996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17783500287858692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18299752527198807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244061701020353,0.15886634861373902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161829324881004,0.0,0.2527642265993508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22822320971336424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21899679232633615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23157168084912866,0.12221271845592095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10864228943965333,0.0,0.19636318191089566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470109883820009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23976028227888596,0.21278499123441835,0.0,0.2235505527284628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519100692910689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20958792215116667,0.0,0.16720001342155574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449171186906559,0.0,0.13116386098791538,0.0,0.3567552254926741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,dortvk,2019/01/16,Art Therapy as part of your treatment? Does anyone have good/bad experiences with art therapy in terms of using it to treat your bipolar?,5.7323999999999975,7.9387520400000025,6.277000000000001,72.32350000000002,68.6,9.8,32.5,10.125756701596842,3.7766,111,5,18,3,2,36,21,25,0.0,0.883,0.117,0.4696,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,6,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,11,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213141856139522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25451749014418706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26675582417544536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981789202157425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556741014931357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3300975179165703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6971915982163985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632723229794901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ladyfishbones,2019/01/16,Ammonia levels too high in blood caused by depakote? Has anyone had this happen to them? My doctor has taken me off the depakote but they found my levels were too high when i was in the hospital last week for migraines.,3.4450000000000003,5.880738976190479,3.9573809523809516,85.39178571428572,75.90476190476191,6.104761904761905,22.404761904761905,7.1686216300943375,0.9325047619047616,175,5,31,2,4,55,34,42,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,5,3,1,1,0,3,8,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,6,0,6,3,0,10,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,3,24,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21735214535650732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3193265174109532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181660941664916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34082878150000245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274881854978265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6568559459361434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25338260387724304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493435111560139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,cirquerouge,2019/01/16,"New kind of manic episode? I don't even know where to begin but u feel like I need to talk this through somewhere so here I am. I feel like I'm experiencing an completely different type of mania that is like no other... it's not super intense or anything but my risk taking behaviors are like whoa right now and I don't want to stop. It all started this weekend when I was partying (which I almost never do either)... drank way more than usual all weekend. Ended up experimenting with recreational drugs that I always swore I would never try. And I liked it! I also went crazy sexually and did some things I'm not very proud of, but still want to do it again (and the opportunity is 100% being presented to me on a gold platter). Im not having any of the normal mind racing, heart beating out of my chest, anxiety attack ridden mania than I usually have...wtf is this crap? Any words of advice?",2.802954545454547,4.895214295454547,4.589772727272732,81.74840909090913,76.5,7.127272727272729,23.5,8.07648339933343,1.4151090909090909,700,22,134,12,16,237,120,176,0.196,0.6890000000000001,0.115,-0.9328,1,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,4,9,12,2,1,4,0,14,5,3,0,4,31,27,11,0,5,8,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,12,6,1,1,3,2,0,2,8,3,0,0,4,3,15,9,18,21,5,24,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,3,21,91,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14433238896386355,0.0,0.0,0.14790191417247958,0.0,0.0,0.11811699380194395,0.12289964411745215,0.0,0.0,0.20088443786020085,0.0,0.1129913939986548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215459117071557,0.0,0.0,0.16803200335235194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15486241925939748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431683675822594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712870764423112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13081986343787008,0.0,0.0,0.09755557792190052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444806014903384,0.0,0.0,0.14936483197909453,0.21103624383055525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17502722221089045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15954317859867825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538085885726144,0.08117298998910917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36079794249317865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913660904286122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095189368728892,0.2278333086375007,0.14265121943973896,0.0,0.0,0.1447163031112679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261364422888734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454402141873358,0.0,0.11795476609235545,0.12348523241376005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105329451076723,0.11871702928233048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981264444939286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027975693196732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32534510441822023,0.12186936867462292,0.17423657552867633,0.1172387322041506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13692095296499018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492304784599543,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,87Flipflop87,2019/01/16,"Anyone else feel like the periods of stability make bp better than depression? I was very depressed from ages 14-19 but a few months after turning 19 had my first hypomanic episode. I rapid cycled for a while, had a few weeks of stability, had a month long hypomanic episode, a month long depressive episode, and now I’ve been stable for the past two months. As much as the rapid cycling sucks, the periods of stability are amazing. For once I can see why my peers in highschool had such an easy time doing stuff when I struggled the second I opened my eyes. After like 5 years of monotonous depression there’s finally some things to look forward to. Anyone else feel similar?",7.7930952380952405,7.801485134920639,7.7252380952380975,71.73642857142858,62.73015873015874,11.326984126984124,36.253968253968246,10.914260884657429,3.9811873015873016,541,23,97,13,7,174,83,126,0.14300000000000002,0.721,0.136,-0.2515,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,4,10,1,1,11,0,9,1,1,1,0,7,16,6,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,6,0,3,6,5,8,4,16,10,4,23,0,4,3,0,0,3,1,1,23,60,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947128934325863,0.28532570834340704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314216581073985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4796920855252436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23262618510003294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080293986833073,0.099469611274597,0.0,0.15252528924851538,0.0,0.11843333828667105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604651196231995,0.0,0.0,0.24643743345921265,0.11692244967342598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294053660356408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4445446389579063,0.0,0.10235384792234653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828087911898166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13291569516364915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109523791188894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14555879869573732,0.15939092268421984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09250163964637616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08118912937470163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15144784908753348,0.1360124993545442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11488357173451685,0.0,0.0,0.11168603014291403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12563805649962675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966286465011697 bipolarreddit,tartansheep,2019/01/16,"My sleep is dwindling I don’t get much sleep but the past few weeks I sleep an average of five hours and ten minutes. I’m just not tired at night. I’m taking my meds. How can I sleep more? If this carries on I’m sure I’ll be heading towards the danger zone although right now that looks somewhat appealing ...",0.008836805555553441,2.3635440156250027,1.380208333333332,97.83284722222223,93.21875,4.094444444444443,21.17361111111111,5.82211442006289,0.03460277777777776,243,9,53,2,9,77,51,64,0.071,0.835,0.094,0.1177,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,3,0,4,6,5,1,1,8,10,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,1,5,1,4,9,4,9,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,2,5,32,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103891673476592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984751580059438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904513700177761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16239989581680844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148140191783972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14216477918026738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814845345255062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846137769717052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16515502267255586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7741234336740825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822689112879231,0.0,0.14540610976472462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22227472806239476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15512675033804488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,greenbeanz17,2019/01/17,"Moving out of my parents house because of PTSD? To keep things vague l was abused by my dad. He hasn’t abused me since childhood but I still feel uncomfortable around him. I’m 23 and still live with him and my mom because my state is VERY expensive to afford housing (or anything). I have it comfortable here, a parking spot, my own room etc, but I feel it’s bad for my mental health. No rent here, they let me stay free. I found a room that’s only $600 a month to rent from a family, which I can afford, but they have three children and a baby on the way. Therapist says I have PTSD and should move. But I don’t wanna end up in a worse situation; but would it be better for me, for my mental health to move away? Needing advice, is it worth it? . I’m bipolar and schizoaffective so triggers suck. ",2.248974583698512,3.9508892392638053,3.4292418930762487,91.21381901840492,76.8527607361963,6.374934268185803,22.07230499561788,7.1686216300943375,0.5470844872918486,618,17,135,7,14,200,104,163,0.149,0.762,0.08900000000000001,-0.8522,5,0,0,0,2,0,24.0,0,0,2,1,6,5,1,0,7,0,13,3,0,1,0,23,21,12,0,4,6,3,2,0,0,2,3,1,4,1,8,8,0,1,3,0,5,3,3,2,0,1,2,3,21,4,19,15,2,19,0,0,0,0,10,8,1,1,5,88,29,0,0.0,0.2951359868131431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170602260356148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10249168314746916,0.11087335907941938,0.0,0.0,0.11701613676544635,0.0,0.1039916585798618,0.15184555964368185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11015182307319113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031179744797627,0.0,0.13890298233710882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11741195807096375,0.0,0.12594955122357332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365595091824854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26477556896445065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28742135236591543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11070321958136704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273578877734906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997740539019762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25102844426809645,0.0,0.0,0.1458681037079703,0.09941233795961917,0.397121694190136,0.0,0.09235012530629616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472371138402208,0.0,0.0,0.13829485850294645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911778806462945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099044883748278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302668026912544,0.13999620235777016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13275067846134952,0.19892701189652276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446088276435573,0.08274358484134323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027644331606606,0.0,0.09885972160568672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12692417482053248,0.08847471398797704,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,rewritable2,2019/01/17,"Not Sleeping on New Meds I recently changed meds from Olanzapine to Vraylar because of side effect issues. I used to be on Seroquel until I got tardive dyskinesia. :( The past couple of weeks since I changed medications, I've noticed that I feel on edge and wired for no reason. I fall asleep eventually, but wake up 3-4 hours later feeling wide awake like someone gave me a shot of epinephrine. Minus feeling on edge, my mood is more or less fine (not up or down too much). Despite not really sleeping much (I usually need 8 hours to feel human in the morning), I am awake and fully functional during the day. Should I be worried that this is the start of a manic (or more likely hypomanic) episode, or is this likely just me adjusting to my new medication? I am also on other meds that help stabilize my mood (Lithium and Lamictal) so this is an adjunct medication.",6.426871165644172,6.9856106134969345,7.4896993865030685,70.39724846625771,65.56441717791411,10.200981595092024,35.9319018404908,10.125756701596842,3.8100532515337417,682,32,118,15,10,231,104,163,0.039,0.883,0.077,0.7275,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,7,0,9,7,4,3,0,22,18,11,0,2,9,0,4,3,0,1,3,0,0,1,7,3,0,0,7,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,4,15,4,20,13,5,24,0,0,0,0,3,11,0,4,15,79,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10298611460735664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850369881792317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27246643241918234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14249372072952046,0.0,0.083053087531962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26046216059817184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299792550236536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631918588651696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536466768419213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441389968726392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887476664941473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4291399591814822,0.3891999099018244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18933769707025316,0.09548947548884873,0.0,0.2487549735431609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14661801555517973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229360309241619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825004025687456,0.13240831057563374,0.12715569560761736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652896926373076,0.0,0.2577479967702011,0.0,0.1091157185527858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115185059142987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122543096998737,0.14183407116989208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10330034567054812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307833508809057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,furyprawn,2019/01/17,"Not sure if I want kids because of this I was recently diagnosed with bipolar 2, and I'm still not totally sure what that means. I have really bad months, followed by a few weeks where I do really well and I'm really happy, followed by a few more bad months of depression and anxiety. When I met my wife four years ago, I didn't know I'd get this bad. I had a history of depression and anxiety disorder, but I was keeping it controlled without medication. Two years ago I had a breakdown and had to go back into therapy, which led to now. My wife and I always talked about having kids, but the worse I feel the less I feel like I'd make a good dad. I barely feel like getting up to go to work, let alone do all the chores that are already piled up around the house. I can't imagine putting a kid on top of all that. Not to mention, I'd hate to bring someone else into the world and they feel as bad as I do. It seems selfish of me to have a kid on a whim and then end up being a shitty dad. I don't know how to tell my wife. I love her, she makes me so happy, but I don't know if I can do this. She's not pregnant, but she's off the pill and we've decided to take a loose take on ""trying"". We already don't have a lot of sex. Am I right about this or is this just my chemically off balanced brain making itself feel worse? Am I the only one who thinks like this?",3.1135307760927766,3.2417894949152566,4.825263157894735,88.12189116859949,72.6949152542373,8.380017841213203,26.034790365744872,8.371475516178862,1.3733389830508478,1051,31,249,16,19,359,150,295,0.17600000000000002,0.726,0.098,-0.9632,2,1,0,0,0,0,30.0,1,0,1,3,12,18,1,0,18,0,25,7,1,6,5,54,55,22,0,3,13,5,5,3,0,0,4,0,1,4,15,14,0,2,13,0,0,7,10,8,1,3,7,5,33,10,34,46,8,36,0,2,0,2,21,15,0,5,17,166,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17840974691802766,0.0,0.0,0.10422519425796063,0.2221015149487,0.0,0.08373452117678973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539675780433252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958449535150595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773803838318673,0.3360966180512265,0.061344798899356436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112339445885486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286820181189085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17334970436185598,0.10214013716445587,0.0,0.0,0.11533386596627022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406576141393307,0.0,0.08913075952371738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544147457918696,0.1437841334285072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10515293145939136,0.0,0.1143838377367082,0.0844059879602458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142508970890111,0.0,0.0993540203918108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161166984509961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944702444597075,0.0,0.0,0.16591540597295862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290381927591216,0.0,0.14749225601027013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555437729738373,0.09082499848209097,0.0,0.20151945420344747,0.0,0.0,0.10961858150972,0.0,0.1013769226337145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16064822427624925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06819136528780756,0.0765357517136366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10116372278334736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19340377641697235,0.0,0.09936271403018496,0.0,0.0,0.08593983061422675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161228885003082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526581437779576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036545532893911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896903782742368,0.0,0.15132662926309673,0.08088480380778625,0.08795747131107608,0.0,0.1150823358747929,0.0,0.0,0.06448141180301639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832304105289726,0.0,0.0983035879227013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059355811516566874,0.0,0.0807215332119739,0.0,0.09048094035174653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700639341456213,0.0,0.07326185072781181,0.0,0.20510676764215274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296084012919737 bipolarreddit,pinkbicyclee,2019/01/17,Paranoia at its best I’m currently having paranoid thoughts. That my aunt and cousin don’t want me dating my cousins friend. Also that they’re using him to get back at me and to prove I’m a slut. That they also want to embarrass me in front of their neighbors by having him talk to another girl that he possibly likes. Also that my sister and everyone is conspiring against me to show that I’m a bad friend to my aunt by engaging me in negative convo about her. Also to show my aunt is trying to prove that I’m a bad sister. Which everyone is now out to prove I don’t deserve love and show me that everyone actually hates me sigh,4.961337209302325,5.245606558139535,6.066191860465118,80.29138081395351,68.68992248062014,9.860852713178298,30.078488372093023,9.827888789773867,2.695286046511628,502,18,102,11,8,168,67,129,0.159,0.6809999999999999,0.16,-0.2263,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,2,1,7,12,1,1,3,0,7,2,0,1,3,12,18,8,0,2,0,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,1,10,5,0,0,4,3,0,1,3,5,1,0,1,0,18,6,19,17,1,10,0,0,0,2,19,5,0,0,5,69,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.16538221083737673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5421132969324168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177708301981904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13031507159259498,0.2830074798965863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17785254358617025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4858191081055679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26187043745290417,0.0,0.0885431882909487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673205228408148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279645283699667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15295693292641294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19105651005968866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621680944187567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345434530318547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150617449194586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146371152353294,0.0,0.0,0.199920353045148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,akashiclibrarycard,2019/01/17,"Guanfacine (Intuniv)? Recently had a catecholamines blood test (levels of dopamine, norepinephrine and epinephrine). My norepeinephrine level was 5x normal. My pdoc has prescribed Guanfacine (Intuniv). Anyone have experience with it? Thanks!",10.232604166666668,14.84941371875,7.508750000000003,50.72791666666669,83.6875,10.883333333333333,42.833333333333336,9.2995712137729,7.273920833333335,197,12,18,7,6,57,29,32,0.0,0.894,0.106,0.5502,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,1,1,0,0,3,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,2,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,11,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3400423297149829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4757087910301732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4764848490751954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4801767919260751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4477329530378449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,48624862577865,2019/01/17,"Woes of getting in as a new patient I'm just so frustrated, been off meds about a year and a half, been stable, moved to a small city and away from a crappy hospital, but away from from my established medical resources. I called the largest provider here, as of January 17th they're booked into mid April! Place I'm waiting to hear back from is *only* a couple months out, hoping to get in earlier simply because I'm already diagnosed and have records of previous medications. I just don't get it, yeah I should have done this sooner, but I was stable, if not slightly elevated, but I'm trying to stay ahead of this before my depression gets deadly serious (2 previous hospitalizations). The second place I called only has one Psychologist and one nurse, I forget the abbreviation but able to prescribe, however I had a bad experience last time with a similar situation, interestingly enough on my second hospitalization I was being cared for by the Dr that had the nurse as his assistant, and he was not too impressed with the meds she had has been trying, as I was not improving, she'd actually prescribed ssri for me and he explained that that is about the last thing I should be taking, anyways. It's just so frustrating for me, trying to get the help I need, as much as I had bad side effects from my last meds, I'd rather have them than go through this damn suicidal roller coaster again! Thanks for reading and letting me get some of this out. ",6.986697080291973,7.256974923357668,7.410647810218978,72.43341697080292,64.36496350364963,10.79160583941606,34.278284671532845,10.550175099000144,3.6136284671532852,1155,47,210,27,16,379,156,274,0.16899999999999998,0.755,0.077,-0.9823,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,1,2,13,13,3,0,16,1,26,4,0,1,0,33,45,20,2,6,12,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,10,12,0,1,2,3,0,2,4,8,0,5,12,1,23,5,43,27,3,28,0,2,0,0,11,14,1,3,11,151,33,2,0.11100119751133547,0.0,0.10832115665582187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224925816733902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20857855799576175,0.0853530691911993,0.1853627267976952,0.06766529972704358,0.0,0.09445384345764067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266892666739229,0.0,0.11317311870481983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12282071376977348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956051687648652,0.1126638789171539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135927638467166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11469390951965247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085804706259492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3479612657651876,0.0,0.06308453856929241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510641691658184,0.0,0.0744017628870252,0.0,0.0,0.11024923503835987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714423733126499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11350624501656273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3698919210190973,0.2236440571488307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860009684035138,0.11797670619429702,0.08159865213231103,0.08230598146358864,0.0,0.10720564824869022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15043456833450375,0.1688428252257956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319452519975345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103123601181253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476999677060388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11831250736780255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12141729385401888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08345908625904767,0.0,0.0,0.10219498918722243,0.0,0.0,0.07374426334122326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06472569091684417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260875804006864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148113188008469 bipolarreddit,victorioushermit,2019/01/17,"Rexulti experiences I’m thinking about asking my pdoc about Rexulti. I’m really not happy right now with my AP (Haldol) and the number of side effects I’m experiencing, particularly elevated prolactin levels. However, when I tried Abilify in the past it made me psychotic, and I’m worried because I hear Rexulti functions a lot like Abilify. So I’d like to know what everyone’s experiences are for those who do or have taken Rexulti? What side effects did you experience? What did you like or dislike about it? I just want to know a bit more about it generally. Thank you!",4.898511530398324,7.203402981132076,7.148616352201259,64.78810272536688,71.0754716981132,11.126205450733753,34.41928721174004,10.980518767755715,4.820470859538784,460,24,75,17,9,163,70,106,0.075,0.8,0.125,0.5197,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,3,0,2,8,5,0,0,4,0,5,0,0,3,0,16,18,6,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,9,5,10,14,3,8,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,3,6,47,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18891170454332246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318229953228807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22061222900602206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930901546302426,0.0,0.5930007896199502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21511129430531767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22775183416309425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22210892748612546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29616912247699306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17179589989095664,0.0,0.19120709475219885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929022862952455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294536366283591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725699023619562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18604238538129347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948071760762275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719483084038764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918834985849923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205215730527718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,itsachance,2019/01/17,"Does your depression start similar to this- Hi all, so I think I have been misdiagnosed as ""just"" depression. I have a serious question: can you be basically feeling okay and just one thing starts the downward spiral? I was good over the holidays and then my daughter canceled our New Years Days plans-it seriously started me on a suicidal depression. Then I somehow pulled myself out and three days ago my son got annoyed with me asking him if he knew where his brother was...(no fight or anything-just annoyance in his answer to me). Then I went down again- this time is worse. Actually have wondered about hospitalization. The ONLY THING I am functioning at is my job-cause I have to. If BP is chemical is it impossible to be set off by one little thing? Thanks ahead for your answers.",3.359691780821919,6.207895294520551,4.375599315068495,79.94435787671233,78.93150684931506,8.033561643835617,28.30308219178082,8.841846274778883,2.7501520547945204,627,28,112,16,16,203,105,146,0.187,0.74,0.073,-0.9586,1,0,0,0,1,0,23.0,1,3,0,1,7,11,3,0,5,1,14,0,0,0,1,19,25,11,1,2,5,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,7,1,0,2,0,8,0,3,5,1,22,3,17,18,1,27,0,3,0,0,15,10,0,6,14,83,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.16325870639568102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148299575024568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564010382126758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17186112132538284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21578672822602174,0.0,0.4322805440552993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14640359950921478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459089109801395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14032161762758966,0.1338034865330545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16601744177248465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767653795178078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16157744241047015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267308970999966,0.12723766105147993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874120380992492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35524313776960365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18299684882109327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15402551311226076,0.0,0.0,0.33343605466043025,0.1071977975706128,0.0,0.0,0.0975528040494084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15508691393860174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814275350128288,0.0,0.0,0.17049094571032386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773442125919623 bipolarreddit,itastechili,2019/01/17,"This song gets me right in the feels. It has actually helped me get through some hard days. I want to share it in case it can help someone else. It doesn’t just push that, it’s ok! Try hard! Vibe. It’s a, fuck man this is hard. Keep fighting, vibe for me. I also think the song writer might be bipolar from the rest of the songs. So many just hit so close to home. [Stronger than Dead. Amigo the devil](https://youtu.be/J281bgTo_q0)",0.40217194570135817,2.8476130000000026,0.5647058823529427,102.6596380090498,95.47058823529413,3.556561085972851,15.950226244343893,5.369823440869387,-1.0295339366515837,335,8,76,2,13,98,63,85,0.163,0.746,0.091,-0.7707,0,0,0,0,2,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,6,4,2,0,6,1,6,2,0,0,0,9,14,3,1,1,2,0,4,0,1,1,1,3,1,1,9,1,0,1,2,3,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,7,5,2,9,11,2,6,0,0,0,1,6,4,1,2,1,42,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.21530397501503176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17643848626020847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422887065818988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843088430252537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155763453940903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20396975259211492,0.23054112413929875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5929259686557831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2957685422174898,0.0,0.22131082604880487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19610692046805248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22368514788997268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340545656382211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884176207279218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18693988293518185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14137140027234854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979392842731468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013384716254175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,roconfused,2019/01/18,"Could my Depakote have caused depression? Long story short I've been on Depakote (with a few others in cocktail) for a while. Hit year long depression that has just stuck. Doctors and I have been working on it but nothing seemed to work. Pdoc and I determined Depakote speed working for me so I'm switching to lithium. Now that I'm titrating off of Depakote I'm already starting to feel a tiny bit better. It's too early for the lithium to be kicking in... I don't feel 100% but I don't wake up wanting to die or hating the world. I googled it but didn't see anything about it causing depression. I've had my levels checked regularly and recently and they were on the low side of normal/healthy so it's not poisoning. Anyone experience increased depression on it? I know ultimately it won't matter for me because I'm coming off of it but I'm curious nonetheless.",2.2475459358455296,4.879307656804733,3.72865151043289,84.17252257863599,81.89940828402368,6.3981314232326385,30.196511990034256,7.669130373188453,2.311016568047337,690,36,126,12,19,227,100,169,0.16899999999999998,0.736,0.095,-0.9212,0,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,1,4,6,8,2,0,6,0,13,3,1,2,0,22,29,12,1,2,7,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,11,6,1,0,4,1,1,2,5,7,0,0,6,3,11,1,23,19,3,25,0,5,1,0,1,14,0,2,9,81,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17220251379587284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911217789557537,0.0,0.12841395834486966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512522758983824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380115067422571,0.17036366891169008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32060793986982666,0.0,0.13442127338995274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12459138818196346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5376146103961136,0.0,0.16195287252933127,0.0,0.0,0.15972142998677447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526445906804593,0.0,0.0,0.15780480842633474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540647939402664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08575973316407577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761946022751727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15289361080550296,0.14973197371384436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15407827486030792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434981078999804,0.14205996242945715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045136297151208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204097463187214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3408137453789403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048960051757072 bipolarreddit,rorylupin,2019/01/18,"Distraught over symptoms and diagnosis I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 over summer after being hospitalised for a manic episode where I became acutely psychotic. Since then I’ve experience a mixed episode,during which I displayed psychotic symptoms and have been pretty stable for about two weeks. Last week I became really paranoid for a few days. I feel very suspicious of my parents, who I live with, and kept thinking they had been altered and weren’t their original selves. I also had several auditory hallucinations for just one day. This whole this is extremely worrying as I have been violent when psychotic before (if I feel my life’s in danger, I’ll fight and have assaulted staff). I have a great MH team but I’m hiding things from them, I don’t want to tell them about potential psychotic stuff because I can’t face it, I can’t face them suggesting I’m Schizoaffective or prone to psychosis or this is going to happen again. I just don’t want to even think about it. I don’t want this to be happening. I’ve worked hard to get into university and want to get my degree and not be sick (already been signed off for like two month - drs orders). I think if they suggest I might be regularly psychotic or more than BP (which I’m already struggling with) I might end it. I don’t want to put people through episodes time and time again, the last ones were hellish enough and it’s not fair. I’m drinking to cope but am epileptic and constantly consumed by guilt. My parents are away for two weeks and I’ve asked for them to be cut out I’m my care updates whilst they’re away so they can enjoy their holiday. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want this. 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I don't lay around wanting to die anymore. I don't want to eat everything in sight. And for the first time I'm organized. Seroquel 200mg is what I was taking until I started having chest pains and my clothes didn't fit anymore. 200mg zoloft fucked me up worse than anything. Especially the weird withdrawal. Seroquel made me sweat like a hoe in church quitting it. I'm so glad I stuck it out because I am definitely not a good candidate for seroquel or zoloft. I feel good. Not overly emotional or depressed. I feel like me again. ,2.8943174603174597,5.477824066666668,3.641825396825397,86.12750000000004,78.7037037037037,6.8201058201058204,28.9021164021164,7.957251820313856,2.1009894179894184,559,26,106,10,14,177,88,135,0.27,0.599,0.131,-0.9704,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,3,4,11,1,0,4,0,11,9,2,1,0,19,23,11,1,2,5,0,2,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,5,8,1,0,3,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,6,4,16,6,15,17,0,14,1,1,1,1,1,7,1,2,9,65,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3659853043846351,0.0,0.0,0.15184290541899592,0.16426047908647667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15406514063571985,0.11248069230210232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951959806293646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899909079557087,0.0,0.1589254110114206,0.0,0.1915009475820618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18882636697878047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18880836862957198,0.0,0.20755834291251152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658332228552281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18659607498580014,0.131819968116857,0.0,0.2021308669865932,0.0,0.15695124045296185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17058426976626265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095305268108381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140647651884592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18029272095750715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745957533871467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963405666915292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19625801080441468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060305964591065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13873485877084898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759415170592672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21766744341243832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18803999388836376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,bigoltrollmamma,2019/01/18,"Lamictical and depakote Okay! Sorry in advance on mobile. So June 1, 2018 I had my third child. I was diagnosed bipolar a few years ago and never really took eating healthy very seriously. After I had my third baby, I lost my mind. Anyways, we started working with a doctor and trying to find treatment. She started me off with lamictical (? Spelling) and I had never been happier! It worked wonderfully and it was the best two months of my mental health in a VERY long time (at least 10 years). While I was upping my doses slowly, I got the dreaded rash. So off of that. Since then I’ve been on at least 7 different kinds of medication and keep having to switch because of side effects ruining my life. (Everything from weight gain, to hallucinations). I still haven’t lost any of the weight that meds caused me to gain (at least 50 pounds). I went and saw my doctor today and she wants me to be on a mix of depakote (extended release because immediate didn’t work) and fluoxetine. I’m asking for any and all advice. Trying this many different meds in such a short amount of time is awful. It’s taking a toll on not just me, but my family. I need to get this crap figured out! I’m almost to a point where I don’t wanna be medicated at all because apparently?! None work for me. I’m so disappointed and discouraged. Has anyone had this cocktail of meds and had it work? ",2.3554258760107807,4.8586542339622625,4.1757884097035065,81.9812028301887,80.24528301886792,6.955525606469003,23.80390835579515,8.07648339933343,1.6080700808625337,1072,38,202,21,28,361,152,265,0.116,0.835,0.049,-0.9501,3,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,1,0,0,12,8,11,1,1,10,2,18,14,2,2,4,35,36,18,0,3,3,0,2,0,0,0,9,0,0,1,9,16,4,2,4,1,0,3,7,8,0,3,17,3,27,3,37,17,9,39,0,5,1,0,5,19,1,2,17,138,36,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022168435949312,0.09091437613357707,0.0,0.1027002952335966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13949035880643493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171322344662845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588094108424494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875611916047572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10763172352792273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535867432071687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10409752840208956,0.0,0.2143093925897746,0.0,0.20995160794643175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1049457818947264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217545473743644,0.0,0.09668563601119462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373914114994468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05358402961380672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202761539023208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901783219593868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116116764905896,0.0,0.10680177835595264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244205688016618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076349500909063,0.0,0.0,0.22391547946310986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398102840396334,0.0,0.0,0.34176734481424204,0.2066393755901855,0.1033576357541552,0.0,0.1035576440273636,0.0,0.08186342584608178,0.0,0.0,0.07604788087731336,0.1582031455916902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695354925207728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570337468877438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483974095655437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11480894301992865,0.1451867871309699,0.0,0.08190556132875805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07711330983599628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960860061485384,0.0,0.09721609015102407,0.0,0.1139493427727538,0.13926473772146306,0.0,0.10018745637020528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16924757482475758,0.06049329329983585,0.0,0.0,0.24978398918649866,0.0,0.0950753232089433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112233204741922,0.3733291240175644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209218833255842 bipolarreddit,DoomCityRider,2019/01/18,"PSA: Steroids And Worsening Of Bipolar Symptoms Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, so please always consult with yours when you seek medical treatment. I don't see this talked about enough. It's flu season and many of us may become sick and be prescribed steroids. Steroids have the chance of worsening bipolar symptoms and may send you into a mixed episode or manic episode or worse. If you are prescribed steroids, please mention your bipolar diagnosis with your doctor. I'm sure there are cases of bipolar people that have taken steroids and have come out fine afterwards. I'm sure there are cases where a bipolar person is required to take steroids as there are infinite personally specific medical conditions and situations. But ask yourself these questions: Have you disclosed your bipolar disorder to the practitioners prescribing steroids? Are you stable? Are you medicated? Do you have the resources to get emergency help should things go wrong? I was sick last year and prednisone almost made me kill myself. I had no idea that steroids could make my bipolar disorder worse. I spent over a week in hell as it left my system. Apparently, it even awakens bipolar disorder in otherwise stable bipolars. If anyone has any evidence to the contrary or input or experience, please post. These might not be the best links, but maybe you guys will find better ones. https://www.verywellmind.com/steroids-and-bipolar-disorder-379733 https://www.mdedge.com/psychiatry/article/62206/corticosteroid-induced-mania-prepare-unpredictable https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3896137/ ",9.844783100716713,13.703275502074693,6.8474179554884955,65.48128159185214,61.61410788381743,8.697170878913619,36.68068653338363,9.339509955726095,4.087761825726141,1320,62,169,26,22,371,149,241,0.134,0.7829999999999999,0.083,-0.8951,1,0,0,0,0,1,59.0,1,12,0,3,8,8,2,0,9,0,26,19,0,2,2,37,38,19,1,4,10,0,0,0,0,5,19,0,0,3,9,12,0,1,4,0,1,3,4,3,0,2,5,1,22,5,18,25,2,19,1,0,1,0,23,7,1,11,7,113,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095154636242359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100228066744516,0.0,0.0,0.07437345375225536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647209675378554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224357867409613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078749185923553,0.0,0.0,0.11477414038611268,0.09672641038134376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942101681288168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732081858780241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.376032896359356,0.22388394921951055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130055645257632,0.0,0.07223601131211847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069821181521062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999596493800105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057139853713790725,0.0,0.06215590630510904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082907334485218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733065360835015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12346226884822785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209986147259608,0.0,0.0,0.08914887390526748,0.0,0.0,0.11882779461310375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034858993125994,0.073003462505242,0.11088118595845724,0.10987406326998317,0.0,0.0,0.3305278768085572,0.0,0.11602132757478853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07411005253037088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582145340034974,0.1909904600813392,0.0,0.3601570655307648,0.0,0.0,0.1047435561229218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251630603511104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715150724191778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293332732305025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20615460387215825,0.2273488160996429,0.08223053165601628,0.08790522134003323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265871522134798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155528864567986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877277796304964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22290906275508046,0.0,0.11957587633265356,0.0,0.07042889805465563 bipolarreddit,Loving-You,2019/01/18,"Is this me? /off my chest/ I'm not asking legit medical advice, all I'm wondering is some direction in why I am the way I am. and at the same time it's a bit of an / off my chest /. I've never felt quiet right, but I tried to accept it as I never wanted to be categorized as someone who's mentally ill. But lately I notice I'm getting worse and the only way to describe it for me when I found the word 'Manic depression'/'Bipolar'. It's as if I felt understood for the first time. A lot of my time I spend alone on my room, except when I go out to meet friends. So my family doesn't know much of my personality. Last summer I had a job at the same restaurant my sister works and she/coworkers noticed how I'm often staring into space while smiling, and this is a big part of me. Whenever I experience this full on power high feeling, as described by people during manic depression, I get lost in my fantasies and I feel as if the world surrounding me no longer exist and build up whole scenario's and imagine people to be near me. For example I would imagine to be in a big house, while holding a conversation with a person I want to speak with and I would laugh at their jokes as if it were their jokes. most of the time my life is amazing in these deep daydreams, sometimes they could be described as another persons nightmare. I'm not even hating this. I feel a part of it is a coping mechanism which goes hand in hand with my natural creativity. And I love the force of energy I have during these moments. How I can smile as if I'm drunk just by staring and thinking about all the amazing things i can accomplish. by thinking how charming I am. And then the next second I could cry. I'm not sure if it's how I really feel, sad. Or if it's an overload of happiness that makes me sad in the moment. ButI really burst of energy in which I actually do accomplish a lot. I know it's not a healthy me, but it's the best version of myself if I want to get things done. I feel as if it isn't totally me, but more a phase. But I love who I am during this phase. Because the other part of me is depressed and has no energy. I hate admitting to this part, because while I know my life situation sucks and would had likely made anyone insane, and as I have experienced horrible things and have anxiety, I hate accepting that a big other side of me is useless by depression. As I feel like I'm constantly trying to fight it and these moments of feeling high/happy actually make me feel at times as if I'm on the right track. But now I read more about this subject, I feel I'm not winning any battle at all when feeling high on energy, is just another extreme on the spectrum. The weirdest thing I have done in these daydreams is travel to another country because I felt like i could(financielle it wasnt the greatest choice), like it could be amazing. I fell asleep in the airplane and once I woke up i was wondering what I was doing. I don't regret it and still had an okay time for a couple of days, but i do notice it isn't normal behaviour and cried one night wishing to be home again. I'm planning to upload soon a cover of me singing on the internet, but i'm slightly afraid of the attention among friends I will get, as it will likely impact my emotions. I'm not into getting attention as it will bring out either side of me, but I never know which one. Sigh, will be a rollercoaster. 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If so I would love to play with you. I am on the NA server and my username is Summ0ner Name,0.6191954022988497,2.6303120689655195,2.421379310344829,94.91988505747128,83.48275862068967,5.2459770114942526,20.011494252873558,6.42735559955562,0.04402528735632138,106,3,24,1,3,35,27,29,0.0,0.6559999999999999,0.344,0.9017,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,5,4,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,4,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,16,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4358304535747808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5454597888459561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5625585242720593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44277911113530255,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Headtroubles5,2019/01/18,Topamax side effects I have been on it for over 6 months and I've lost so much hair. I got off other meds thinking it was the problem but it's still happening. I looked it up last night and it seems to be a big issue with some. So I decided I'm stopping it because I hardly have any hair left. It's awful. Anyone else experienced hair loss?,0.536249999999999,2.71616790277778,2.6700000000000017,91.95000000000003,85.25,5.266666666666668,21.5,6.6274283507984215,0.4231333333333329,267,9,58,3,8,90,54,72,0.185,0.815,0.0,-0.8944,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,2,1,5,3,3,1,0,11,12,5,0,1,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,6,5,0,7,7,2,12,0,2,1,0,0,7,0,2,5,35,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16537318146115454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17003962160080865,0.24917032778054385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14824246033790162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031486862093408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19449613350810108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150464469939641,0.0,0.21784473201740506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538204886303095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19822708449849705,0.0,0.0,0.264219683902816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20421296965619096,0.0,0.26546361722818984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701221485368842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941068227699092,0.0,0.17876792094539154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282113270807238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326938545736026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213852085259269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942067304464282,0.2033123716825196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582222622366174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Rakosman,2019/01/18,"Welp, giving up on sleep for tonight. What do y'all do to help insomnia? I'm more than a week now of laying in bed for hours before finally falling asleep. For the last four days I got up after 2:00 pm. I'm assuming I'm in a mixed episode so hopefully it'll change soon. Getting real ＴＩＲＥＤ of this shit. Of course now that I decided to give up I'm quite sleepy again >7:42am 🤔",0.5591944444444437,2.773071975000001,2.184166666666666,95.23527777777781,85.5,6.055555555555558,21.38888888888889,7.3871296695380915,0.662347222222222,298,10,68,5,9,97,61,80,0.075,0.816,0.11,0.4101,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,5,2,1,0,3,0,3,4,3,0,0,4,12,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,3,1,16,10,1,18,0,0,0,0,4,6,1,2,11,35,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111011784220347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262439935802329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999363126346566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717638528446747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296136302475187,0.4759694817735031,0.0,0.0,0.19841540637951108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16628544956110305,0.0,0.0,0.2464033498770553,0.24431272871241744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20222153940431287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638678296045559,0.0,0.28237385991930153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25465462073307044,0.0,0.0,0.2482631241028728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19899798918663728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Liberator-,2019/01/18,"Managing bipolar disorder without a doctor Hey there! My partner is struggling with bipolar disorder for a few years already. But she stopped visiting doctor almost half a year ago and her problems got worse. It seems she doesn't want to start visiting him again in spite of we spoke about it a lots of times and she told me she will. In case you stopped with your therapy, what did make you to start with it again? I know that as long as she doesn't want to do anything, I can't force her. But I would appreciate an advise if there's at least some way how I can help.",2.8621052631578934,4.8137587192982485,3.4507368421052647,90.62715789473688,75.84210526315789,7.016140350877192,26.31228070175439,7.908726449838941,1.4283607017543871,450,17,95,7,10,141,79,114,0.201,0.754,0.045,-0.9386,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,3,0,0,6,3,1,1,5,0,9,4,0,2,0,23,19,8,0,5,4,0,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,1,5,6,0,2,2,0,0,2,4,3,0,1,4,1,18,0,16,13,4,17,0,0,0,0,20,3,0,5,11,68,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547288836069635,0.0,0.17478756059715292,0.0,0.19262131161038687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14364055750539925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4001010176027089,0.3573205832849629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13960433865403252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699782107325025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592863612317942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15447209618849353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14839697399487206,0.0,0.0,0.11651411320522542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670216836225814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15890462739075384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24709611881679144,0.0,0.0,0.2918648168164103,0.0,0.18247854993126206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19961422131235612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178206148462154,0.0,0.0,0.16679091103755894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20590934318770052,0.13855041785036834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16826088501397252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778823283241615,0.12399598535305725,0.0,0.0,0.22481017527819847 bipolarreddit,inkedandnerdy,2019/01/19,"I feel like bipolar is ignored. Anyone know any good mental health nonprofits that actually support bipolar? I've liked TWLOHA since I was in high school because of their dedication to preventing suicide and they were really connected to the music scene I was into, but now as I'm older and diagnosed, I'll listen to their podcasts and watch their social media and there's nothing that ever acknowledges bipolar. Just depression and anxiety. I feel like most organizations are this way. They support anxiety and depression because they're the trendy things to support while things like bipolar, borderline and schizophrenia are still too scary and inappropriate to mention. I'd really like to see an organization that recognizes bipolar and supports more mental illnesses than just depression and anxiety. Anyone know of any good ones? In the US, so ones available in the US preferred.",8.960600000000003,10.802786526666665,8.431999999999999,61.32600000000002,60.4,11.6,40.33333333333333,11.407655852321104,5.4913333333333325,729,38,98,21,10,231,90,150,0.195,0.636,0.16899999999999998,-0.7736,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,2,0,5,0,8,15,0,0,5,0,6,8,0,0,1,24,17,14,1,1,3,0,2,5,0,0,8,1,0,0,6,11,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,3,5,11,11,14,14,2,11,0,3,2,0,10,5,0,1,10,66,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.1106352361310594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541944176620911,0.0,0.26018902784159736,0.0,0.0,0.15854541952062395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822168529767118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29294278462864315,0.11507073255361587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255194504433196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464911633543468,0.16198671768538458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19018300026088292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050969897900116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11978430364955242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461315624629765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27694046004266576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285056916106704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087840012268472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15364832230183995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452586929341582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11473905410402675,0.0903432288643279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937829292528501,0.0,0.0,0.11556901807692375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090539449754372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240111478740532,0.5146152188897833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063934396473713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27274639134899353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998983809906347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,angel0211,2019/01/19,"How do I start the process of SSI for bipolar? From the ground up. No records of doctors, psychiatrists, medications, psychologists, nothing. Currently I have no primary care physician, no psych or shrink, nothing. I am ensured with medicaid. A single, very recent, 52/50 on file. I am 21. I am homeless, have no family, and no assets. I know this will be long. I'm just looking for the first step. I started displaying manic depressive symptoms as a young child but was never treated for it. Left home as a minor. No basic education. Just seeking someone who has been there or somewhere similar before who can offer me advice. Sorry if it's the wrong sub ",2.9202801120448214,5.916120915966388,4.361142857142859,77.92552380952381,83.53781512605042,6.870812324929973,29.782072829131646,8.021203637495839,2.7931340056022416,515,26,83,11,15,170,90,119,0.101,0.82,0.079,-0.6782,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,7,0,12,5,0,1,1,11,18,8,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,1,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,2,0,1,2,1,8,2,11,14,1,13,0,1,1,0,4,4,0,3,8,61,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202458929046218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17629930129455615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21123906685632696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17844826463787902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21206277846965624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19531571880955675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17623158130187785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20782359658753688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386353914497345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22510726984157065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833523365075201,0.17398334365751894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20871723992735608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15979395892682688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3975994752129704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045703389419556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17554730381185704,0.0,0.0,0.2319268110219234,0.2932934286831622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21534469885827656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17094944553006994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265244351946309,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,melatonia,2019/01/19,"[Discussion of Suicide, Trigger, Rant] Those well-meaning but ignorant people who repeat anecdotes about ""people who survived jumping off the bridge realized all their problems could be solved except [gravity- ed.] And the trite ""majority of people who attempt suicide are glad they didn't suicide."" And any other platitudes from Chicken Soup for Suicsplainer's Soul, *shut up* *shut up* *shut up*. I'm not even suicidal right now but it pisses me off to no end to hear people reciting 4th hand *wrong* shit in an attempt to shut down conversation about this. Some of it doesn't even make sense. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem? Last I checked, bipolar disorder is a permanent problem. ",4.195204918032786,7.549354483606558,4.503422131147538,76.35628073770494,82.03278688524591,7.64016393442623,33.85450819672131,8.472884824447931,3.797686885245902,565,32,83,14,16,177,89,122,0.276,0.5820000000000001,0.142,-0.9715,0,0,0,0,0,4,28.0,0,0,2,3,5,9,2,0,6,0,7,4,3,2,1,16,10,4,5,4,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,8,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,4,8,0,0,1,2,4,1,19,7,3,17,1,0,0,0,8,12,2,1,4,55,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918610802221598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471214615233472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150308606196716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615946557434105,0.0,0.0,0.17324591996055438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478149364702653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690428771345027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875432612646534,0.0,0.0,0.14286017434641235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3636899991704335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3764768700718611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11200089451769572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13462300268606847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7172809364922579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791908575766118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14339131081608242,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,MutedPresence,2019/01/19,"Stress and Bipolar I'm under some pressure at the moment with exams. I think the adrenaline rush which comes from the time pressure is pushing me towards (hypo)mania. How do you deal with stress? What happens to your mood? Is there anything you do to prevent an episode? Thanks",3.148028571428572,6.281112260000004,2.7717142857142854,87.91300000000004,86.4,4.457142857142856,29.142857142857146,6.18269132825596,1.5268857142857146,223,11,37,2,7,66,40,50,0.18600000000000005,0.743,0.071,-0.7608,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,3,0,0,3,6,0,4,4,0,4,1,0,1,0,8,9,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,1,8,9,1,8,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,2,27,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587970133950888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27090375951699897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32422355128620844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27810089913402064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7204903993694561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895385051498898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201511356377264,0.0,0.0,0.1833806132952752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,bingedown,2019/01/19,"I no longer see this as an illness I was diagnosed 4 years ago after a psychotic episode. Tried many medications to control the swings including Depakote, Lithium, Quetiapine and so on. Nothing worked and I started thinking about that. This 'illness' is not understood in any capacity. No one knows why people get it, no one knows how medication works or if it will work. The medication is proven to be severely damaging to our bodies and often meds stop working all together but are difficult to stop taking due to withdrawals. I'm not anti med in anyway, but I'm anti long term meds. No doubt medication has helped during acute episodes but keeping me on them long term did more damage to my life than good. &#x200B; I've been volunteering, writing music, walking. If I feel depressed I accept that. I lay in bed and cry, and that's okay I think. I feel much better saying to myself 'you have extreme moods swings, experience them' rather than 'you have extreme mood swings, you need to suppress that as well as all your other emotions.' &#x200B; I've started looking for alternative ways to bring myself some peace. I have been off medication for two months now and have really enjoyed the lows and highs I've been experiencing. I feel more like myself, I don't have the constant sedation. I've stopped thinking 'why do I feel this way' and just experience my emotions without any judgement or thinking that there's something wrong with me. Bipolar can be a gift, to experience life in ways others cannot. &#x200B; I think being told that bipolar is a bad thing and it's an illness did me so much more harm than if had been told that i'm ok the way I am, I just need to learn how to experience it whilst keeping myself safe.",5.16925925925926,7.0326274320987725,5.598350617283952,78.0083777777778,69.4320987654321,8.146962962962965,31.787160493827162,8.726425361277474,2.7045354567901243,1384,61,244,24,25,443,174,324,0.166,0.711,0.123,-0.9186,0,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,1,4,2,6,13,20,0,1,10,2,27,14,1,3,2,56,55,24,0,6,14,0,4,1,0,1,13,1,1,0,17,10,0,8,14,0,0,2,9,9,1,3,11,8,31,9,31,40,10,32,0,4,2,0,12,9,0,8,18,162,48,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651838418052255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390235961036135,0.2680571700002991,0.10001187786223716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139818356557715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06503523403213089,0.0,0.0816801826289523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946460307635811,0.08247512413239284,0.0,0.0,0.08077412640444145,0.0,0.0,0.06333510304959718,0.07463590591775199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16543268887595167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2877231591183813,0.0,0.0,0.1487248837384067,0.05253301666198487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038418708439477575,0.0,0.0,0.06167719714486612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04928858324711394,0.07769317027199635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13072157305650314,0.0,0.0,0.08082520723833306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038790953981572,0.035925211670886935,0.0,0.0,0.1301513259392403,0.061750407166040876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455237768194238,0.0,0.0,0.2450405478868569,0.370391046554918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05869448625093754,0.0,0.1081125447143692,0.10904970693405316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07055827577303847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996576755292431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050979519937805286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047108043457175265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584775359548468,0.0,0.0,0.058597425950010024,0.0,0.0,0.08307298334347435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05661040236014125,0.0,0.0,0.10409610632590427,0.0,0.0,0.18443424657737084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055288745335958886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04885301263909747,0.2355894909865325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14053061207677958,0.0,0.04992505596334062,0.0,0.0718324602184832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23347285416075625,0.0,0.0,0.06611629021575985,0.0,0.1327067841303581,0.0,0.0,0.07088457342339682,0.0,0.2141357844263468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039836350001878,0.2680571700002991,0.04735376666570745 bipolarreddit,___statik,2019/01/19,"How do I tell my family and friend that I have Bipolar 1 Disorder? My family knows that I have Bipolar 1 Disorder, but my in-laws have no idea. Most of my friends don’t know, either. How do I tell them without them thinking less of me, or thinking I’m fragile and weak?",3.1483928571428565,4.030262767857145,4.830714285714286,85.36428571428574,73.10714285714286,8.457142857142857,30.07142857142857,8.841846274778883,2.3047285714285706,209,9,45,4,4,71,34,56,0.184,0.703,0.114,-0.4704,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,2,0,14,11,6,0,0,4,0,1,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,11,2,3,11,3,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,2,0,32,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5216721334956459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4291002481035718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3516685245575115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569196438124298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501533066301688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978446515366989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916589623027851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193871322673444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Ruby16251,2019/01/20,Melatonin Has anyone tried this (in combination with other meds)?,8.533000000000001,12.403678300000005,7.190000000000001,61.32500000000002,66.0,8.0,30.0,8.841846274778883,3.3640000000000008,53,2,6,1,1,16,10,10,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.473173975604232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7516764017625086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4594442031893031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,candiholicx,2019/01/20,"Depakote + weed? I honestly haven't smoked weed since I started taking meds (125mg Depakote, 3x / day), so I have no experience with mixing the two. Leading up to my diagnosis I was honestly smoking weed way too much and just kind of self medicating my problems in a way that wasn't particularly constructive with a lot of weed and alcohol. But okay, that said, I am capable of moderation - I can do a glass of wine here or there without totally flying off the handle, and I have done so while taking my Depakote with no noticeable differences (and I was on a much higher dose at one point while doing so). What I haven't tried, since meds, is weed. This is not the type of question I feel comfortable asking a doctor since weed is still very, very illegal where I live LOL and I am aware redditors can not dispense reliable medical advice (and I am also aware that it is not allowed on this sub). Luckily, I'm not looking for advice - I'm looking for personal experiences. I am curious if anyone else has EXPERIENCE mixing depakote and weed? Did it make it more sedating? Did it make you paranoid or jittery? Was everything exactly the same? Is depakote and the occasional, rare high any more dangerous than depakote and the occasional, rare glass of wine or beer?",5.026751054852318,6.7615587004219435,6.323902953586501,73.17463080168777,69.59071729957806,10.16118143459916,32.99789029535865,10.380263240014207,3.8379434599156137,1000,47,176,29,18,337,131,237,0.07200000000000001,0.8270000000000001,0.1,0.7699,1,0,5,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,0,1,10,7,1,0,11,2,25,8,0,4,2,34,37,20,0,2,11,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,10,12,4,0,2,3,0,1,10,2,0,2,8,4,18,5,20,29,7,17,0,0,2,0,6,9,0,6,5,125,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394172228996085,0.0,0.13091855824892445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796568475143842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330630875977503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856570158070017,0.12551890262047216,0.0,0.0,0.11452386172761687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07900436502348254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279896659666489,0.0,0.12538711367476835,0.0,0.1253632033918438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023356207334819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100978871677447,0.35949461468772365,0.0,0.0,0.06194124812874606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12943125095841335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12756812728771336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817248159523307,0.0,0.2057435014869725,0.0,0.0,0.10414775480452823,0.0,0.0,0.16354354090514253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721466553408881,0.2468179703907821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18010774766545834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947059121049893,0.0,0.0,0.08301127091480545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069649816902919,0.0,0.0,0.1158050259309679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11721892222388032,0.0,0.0,0.1372315080682742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165285009569609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12779745015587118,0.0,0.0,0.30400749051195386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08670832464741178,0.0,0.09783113384437636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18421417089047884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317156353488486,0.0,0.1196677282308028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2021557740024102,0.0,0.19447451734216256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180886167950681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,_StruggleBug,2019/01/20,"Weird hypomania, or am I just an idiot? Ever since my diagnosis 2 years ago I've gotten pretty good at recognizing my hypo/manic symptoms...after the fact at least, but more than a few times I've had experiences where I just have one, maybe two symptoms for a week or two, then one or two days that might actually qualify as something. Uniformly it's pleasurable/risky behavior/ being more goal oriented. I have pretty high self esteem all the time unless I'm depressive so I can't use it to judge (unless it's gotten to the point where I think about running for office or starting a cult, that's pretty obvious) I don't get flight of ideas, sleeplessness, distracted, pressured speech, etc during these times. When I'm full blown hypo/manic I get at least 50% of the above. So what does this mean? Is it hypo-hypomania? Am I just making stupid or rash decisions?",4.4983356643356665,6.3140029454545505,5.736969696969697,76.53776223776225,71.06060606060606,8.955710955710957,26.025641025641022,9.466822959209583,2.4152144522144527,686,22,123,16,13,229,108,165,0.151,0.772,0.077,-0.9044,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,1,10,7,2,2,8,0,10,2,1,2,4,22,21,13,0,0,11,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,9,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,6,0,5,3,1,10,1,14,16,8,20,0,1,0,0,1,8,0,6,11,80,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.1463059920578799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13290021049869966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668976326908907,0.0,0.12913090566830512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312011122710137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16720694188347734,0.0,0.13561650502921466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466562393117427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15666012610767668,0.0,0.0,0.12575068079011867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15840488068059655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16924802349148432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007666190093867,0.0,0.15062065694161966,0.16331319122272211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15904762287359228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20318725759097184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14172837841691235,0.0,0.0,0.4575854335263382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15640534796136393,0.0,0.0,0.12402020352881232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542023577805945,0.0,0.0,0.1061182806940558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15583035257231068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09606642405934927,0.0,0.0,0.2622688876368722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4393672796489228,0.0,0.0,0.12948778798683186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202614648691606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654732497332363 bipolarreddit,swinty22,2019/01/20,A seed of delusion Yesterday I really thought for a minute that it was not out of the realm of possibility that I could live forever. It didn't take me that long to snap out of it but it's just so weird to know that my mind can do that. Interesting life we are living I guess.,3.2682203389830486,3.81917137288136,4.962500000000002,85.75527542372883,72.5593220338983,9.289830508474578,24.91949152542373,9.516144504307137,1.667979661016949,217,6,52,5,4,74,44,59,0.051,0.8859999999999999,0.063,0.1749,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,0,0,11,10,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,6,1,9,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,37,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469810341206393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34077042293495463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17000394563257468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184944114569965,0.0,0.0,0.5463018272334647,0.27375418752391745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3123429601268944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3487318509176027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19816969315365676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325835015423209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24557963185858425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,couldyoufuck1ingnot,2019/01/21,"I'm going off meds, and I'm not telling my doc. I'm tired of the side effects and feeling like a numb lazy blob. I want to feel again. I'm going to take my gabapentin, clonidine, and smoke CBD (<2% THC). But everything else is being put away. I need to be functional, not just calm. ",0.8098870056497169,2.8162127288135608,2.0450000000000017,97.91518361581923,82.72881355932203,5.289265536723164,21.69774011299436,6.42735559955562,0.13726892655367262,217,7,51,2,6,69,44,59,0.163,0.7490000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.6664,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,1,0,12,14,4,0,2,4,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,2,4,2,6,12,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,23,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801851688274889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24912246447015415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680186702108091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30157546855318745,0.2130466498426219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3389677684855906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14569401259814005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3312524270136653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211245061187578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29979096734364397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22422245506323216,0.0,0.2606552495692548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3427571599660067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758964148653071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,PlanBrandom,2019/01/21,"Wwwwooo guys I feel ssso great right now (had a couple shots) while the family is gone. It's great but sucks cause I gotta pretend to be more sober when they get back. I'm fucking up though for real I don't know if my meds are working and kinda want to stop but don't want my psych to take me off of a stimulant cause I need my job as much as mental health. I've been drinking because everything was so meh but I think if I stop my meds I will be great for a bit then hit some lows, I don't want to do that but I do. We'll see.......",1.2506666666666677,1.9716434000000047,3.081666666666667,96.71666666666668,77.5,6.333333333333334,20.0,6.42735559955562,-0.1857499999999992,408,8,106,3,9,137,82,120,0.121,0.76,0.119,-0.0488,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,1,1,5,6,2,0,4,0,14,3,0,3,0,22,30,14,0,6,6,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,1,1,2,3,2,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,2,16,3,11,20,4,12,0,1,1,1,3,4,2,4,7,63,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582266988151535,0.0,0.09182066616916974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16444539442201886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094703199545077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16666562925466927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755686667717904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537360665109308,0.0,0.14199749049759058,0.0,0.07616140850080938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392519993195921,0.0786962577877458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4981995569913351,0.0,0.14914415983938953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601091871549396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947380311247724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278052025871709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3346247164161876,0.0,0.15179633197173958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11072798949415814,0.11168782342175317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17144621310501088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12863441789759772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003001468737146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518614082061321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325256710735004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651553666342924,0.14799001296893466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665306718213086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965806489398283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,NicholasSnell,2019/01/21,"Anyone else use domesticated rats as emotional support animals? I have bipolar and my partner has depression and PTSD. He has tried many of the strong antidepressants. Not much effect. He recalled that, when he was a child of 10, he had a pet rat whom he very much loved. A few days ago some extra money came our way and we decided to acquire two rats as pets for him (and, secondarily, for me). Bust my buttons! He has been engaged, task-oriented, energized, calm--all since the rat adoption. Today we got a third because--well, how could we resist. He has been playing with the rats, feeding them, tending to them, and just letting them ride in the hood of his sweatshirt. I have not seen him this euthymic and equable since August. Does anyone else have a similar story about rats as emotional support animals? Or emotional support animals that have had as dramatic an effect?",4.655035714285717,7.040664575000001,5.239642857142859,77.85250000000003,72.0,8.321428571428571,32.05357142857143,9.04235418022936,3.1133571428571427,692,33,118,15,14,222,103,160,0.022,0.8079999999999999,0.17,0.9695,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,4,0,3,4,4,9,0,0,10,0,15,3,0,4,0,22,24,13,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,2,4,11,1,0,3,1,1,2,2,1,0,2,8,1,15,8,14,14,5,9,0,1,1,1,21,1,0,2,5,77,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444118739809283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963183174623864,0.28767824258199265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16056091885428145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112084517832624,0.0,0.0,0.09053551461879493,0.0,0.12091179668456754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285023580993636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345442073785608,0.4737364276494442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122772249308172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355127653846042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267012688688402,0.0,0.0,0.14232647455505232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20639552785314635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16410038356194945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232252775681338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4779153864163099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306680645114696,0.0,0.0,0.0953109401492241,0.0,0.137133933744263,0.0,0.0,0.12124596364571985,0.0,0.1158307963555495,0.0,0.11142960583621643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Hereticdark,2019/01/21,"How do you make your brain shut up? Abilify has stopped my racing thoughts that pile on top of each other, but I now have a new problem of ordered thoughts that I can make sense of, then I have to answer all my own questions. It's just as exhausting and I need a way to shut it up/down/out that doesn't involve illicit drugs or alcohol. What do you do to quieten your mind?",4.002307692307692,4.314325384615387,4.714512820512823,89.04715384615385,70.7948717948718,8.291282051282051,30.98461538461539,8.238735603445708,1.9540892307692301,292,12,66,4,5,94,57,78,0.116,0.865,0.019,-0.8025,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,4,0,1,3,2,0,0,2,0,8,4,1,3,1,17,13,6,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,2,1,1,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,10,0,9,11,3,11,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,2,4,46,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852331543067781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979468137382921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30951733741415466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563134261697129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694912371714673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979017357374435,0.0,0.25777207794623586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25538566401553664,0.0,0.0,0.2989872210642948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22313896144726186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4237749350060333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21185147757403205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,redkitten05,2019/01/22,"feeling down trigger warning: talks about grief and mourning Hi everyone! I thought I'd check in though I haven't been all that active in this community recently. By all accounts I'm doing pretty well- I'm successful in my job and have settled into the city I've moved to for about a year. Starting to form some social connections and am in therapy. It's been 1 year since my last hospital visit and my symptoms are really going down. I also started following one of my passions and started writing a book about my mental health experiences. what I want to chat about is how you all keep it together when life throws you some shitty stuff? My grandma passed away recently, and my family is still dealing with stuff about her passing. We were very close and I hadn't seen her in about a year since I live on the other side of the country. I ended up not going to the funeral but shared some memories that my family read. I won't get into details here but we may also sell one of her properties that was very meaningful to me growing up. Her passing also caused some tension in our family, which I'm not personally involved in but still feels stressful. Then, totally out of the blue, another person I didn't know well but who worked with me also passed away. I can't help feeling regret about not talking to this person more, and wish that I had spent more time to do that. Actually, I'm feeling that about my grandma as well. Looking for any suggestions about how to keep it positive when you're dealing with tough stuff like this? I feel a lot of regret and sadness about not spending more time with these people. I also feel a little bit of disillusionment and a little hopeless just generally thinking about how our time on earth is limited. It's also wintertime, so I think that's contributing too. Has anyone been dealing with anything similar, or gotten through something like this?",5.938748839368618,7.050893481894152,6.382468662952647,75.94588498142991,66.82729805013929,9.437372330547818,32.78563138347261,9.621722640351123,3.195336954503248,1516,64,265,31,24,491,191,359,0.092,0.77,0.138,0.9347,1,0,1,0,0,1,30.0,4,2,0,3,32,18,0,2,11,0,21,4,0,5,4,66,50,30,3,4,10,0,6,2,0,2,3,0,0,3,23,21,0,3,11,3,5,11,9,10,3,2,12,9,35,8,53,36,14,51,0,7,3,1,28,22,0,7,20,199,58,5,0.0,0.0,0.08042014254916266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3954188458029297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056041535600741835,0.0864139311307628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05762289521966279,0.0,0.06781629886931831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15485356586447066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997023093362455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465763438152454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548828632067342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299068172955837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874615963659018,0.0,0.08061266326336522,0.2330660653093869,0.0,0.25001342975150304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043055754231737256,0.0,0.09367085324818633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759783509629278,0.0,0.0,0.05523759680941314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177907707189655,0.14649935281331442,0.0,0.0,0.04529030776848027,0.06717504080649997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05820852630072256,0.08052259678961142,0.16519267341921098,0.07276942249140912,0.0,0.06920353293081491,0.0,0.0,0.0700619220261688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304976305585053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758864678459947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168611749801068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05713262549551605,0.21587135183417214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384046174962421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243216840687027,0.0,0.05279387110645194,0.0,0.1627396035738364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363405873741325,0.0,0.0,0.08400648141612972,0.0,0.0634431418957702,0.0,0.0,0.17499038434007297,0.0,0.13162525268069175,0.0,0.09440022435946854,0.0,0.2830187444154456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565540611893581,0.0,0.13247585913190627,0.0,0.0,0.09424286515022856,0.0,0.0,0.10560983058007407,0.08096727603398504,0.06542422922691382,0.14416156873208266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599354207759504,0.04860747479721124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22228910272153965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476728014445496,0.0,0.0,0.05999536476483401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15920775754741565 bipolarreddit,mentallychillll,2019/01/22,"Keep taking Wellbutrin through manic episode?? I don’t have any antipsychotics or mood meds besides Lithium that i haven’t taken in months and I have to wait 2 days before going to doctor Should i skip my Wellbutrin dose?? 300mg XR. Incase it’s making mania worse? ",2.801266666666667,5.6968876600000025,3.0,88.39666666666666,82.4,4.133333333333334,22.333333333333336,5.46131890053228,0.36673333333333336,213,7,36,1,6,65,42,50,0.092,0.908,0.0,-0.6199,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,0,6,11,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,4,9,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,18,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24533090951170164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3069823641843351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326620038165016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692557634210213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20502967464912294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3206623362769732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408118078471153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4007258722018064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287957230742122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27124854505213136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676478659056929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,kidwithoutahat,2019/01/22,"Attention issues and bipolar This is maybe somewhat unrelated to bipolar, but have any of you experienced really bad attention issues? Mine have been bad since before I was medicated and I always attributed it to (what I thought was purely) depression or now bipolar but it hasn’t gotten better through my medication. Now medication hasn’t made it worse, but I just don’t know what to do about it. I don’t believe it’s ADD because I haven’t been dealing with it since I was a child just since I was around 14. Any advice or personal stories?",3.65747572815534,6.2161109126213585,5.153213592233012,76.46205339805826,75.79611650485437,8.391844660194176,29.717475728155346,9.120678840339163,3.0192959223300964,436,20,76,11,10,146,60,103,0.187,0.777,0.036000000000000004,-0.9589,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,6,4,0,0,1,0,15,6,0,2,1,20,19,7,0,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,2,9,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,9,1,11,1,8,10,1,3,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,3,2,56,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16124253811389638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729870816282316,0.0,0.0,0.2244202902805955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689085588978776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755472344488561,0.1005864907689286,0.0,0.14040846181672426,0.1859059312205442,0.0,0.1459349270499819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17011455739995648,0.14211994130258085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3444480370655316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068331111331383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15613323297479492,0.0,0.0,0.1657713063554642,0.0,0.0,0.4986803645444253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440773970073255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570745208656857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40948548965784426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13099680760972818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16815582054421416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,businessgabe,2019/01/22,"does anyone else have severe Dermatophagia? Hi this is a throwaway account because I don't want my irl friends to see this. &#x200B; I've always been a nail biter. But what I really am is a nail eater. and a toe nail biter. But I usually use a knife and cut up my skin around my nails and chew on it... and eat it. uhh. Its fucking nasty. I cant control it. I also bite the insides of my lips and shit. I also take mucus out of my eyes to discard it. I scrape oil out of my face with my fingernails. Ill bite and pull moles out of my body. &#x200B; I used to be a cutter but I don't do that anymore. I've been a nail biter basically forever but not until recently did I realize that I do all of this things all over my body. but I use a fucking knife and swallow it. What the fuck is wrong with me. im such a fucking freak :(( &#x200B; does anyone have advice on how I can fix this? have any of you had experience with this. sorry for being gross. thank you in advance",0.3209590792838881,2.480474480392157,2.3877578857630013,93.7412148337596,86.05882352941177,5.312531969309464,20.634271099744247,6.7026698264267655,0.2946089514066497,750,24,168,9,23,251,112,204,0.159,0.8140000000000001,0.026,-0.9738,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,2,0,2,5,11,6,0,11,0,19,17,8,5,2,29,30,16,0,1,6,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,16,14,3,1,1,0,1,2,4,9,0,0,4,4,25,2,23,24,2,14,0,0,2,4,4,9,5,0,3,113,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022757414319244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739836710980274,0.08708822956556983,0.34020784563144624,0.3815320068748872,0.07117461635527761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379784537458718,0.14636599145886248,0.1072398942210878,0.0,0.09317250504383644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638017612583151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23251460873288105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11738876310397578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18318307530036235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709665998962517,0.0874327365312547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10238076668747192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086258697581962,0.3870380464878305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130542977825381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704997430266617,0.0,0.1033423578245458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340307972506374,0.0,0.0,0.11823971002933616,0.10743534818662173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11716196794557796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869375762491042,0.0,0.0,0.09635988206985424,0.0,0.0,0.06953362953902066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711863962891453,0.11527181118006495,0.0,0.061733111585981215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443286137649147,0.3815320068748872,0.0 bipolarreddit,sub-dural,2019/01/22,"Color Immersion Does anyone find themselves enchanted by colors and unable to pull yourself away while manic or having symptoms? I spent 15 minutes in a red tiled stairwell (old, faded, worn tiles) today and missed my train. Worth it. ",5.7070000000000025,8.875767699999997,5.125000000000004,76.13000000000002,72.0,6.0,27.5,7.1686216300943375,1.9905,188,7,25,2,4,57,39,40,0.103,0.7929999999999999,0.105,0.0258,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,2,3,2,0,4,2,0,7,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,1,4,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842111177524753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38188904665865997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3557019363960961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715033964860127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4265186521347351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4224747580246182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3852831084341247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,RetinalFlashes,2019/01/22,"Is ""feeling like someone or something isn't quite real to me"" a sign of something? If so what? I started lithium 450mg a week ago today. On Sunday night I wrote >Good. But I've noticed all day and a little bit yesterday that it's weird that other creatures/people are alive. I have looked at my dog a few times and my brain is confused that she is real. That's probably not good? The feeling/thought fades and doesn't worry me. I'm not getting manic about it. Like, I don't gaf that it happened. Whatever. I believe she's real. I'm taking my meds. So I'm confused as to why that would happen. Nothing else weird had happened. I was with my husband all day and he didn't notice anything strange. Is that a normal feeling to have or is it something that comes along with having bipolar? Im sure if it is it will continue to fade as I level out my lithium levels.",1.5283615819209049,3.7131391525423725,3.245000000000001,89.31179378531073,81.20338983050847,4.837288135593222,26.217514124293785,5.82211442006289,0.8743310734463279,678,29,133,4,18,225,105,177,0.063,0.8290000000000001,0.108,0.7545,0,0,3,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,3,8,0,2,6,0,18,2,1,0,3,30,32,13,0,4,7,1,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,16,9,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,4,3,16,4,14,26,4,20,0,0,1,0,5,6,0,6,15,86,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142049258921268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602066558353702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14515352632956005,0.0,0.0,0.14065503316051567,0.0,0.0,0.14382306251473215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098040319819136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16617652007077366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076255554216396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302862324102711,0.0920401300171738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06731124813588431,0.0,0.0,0.21612226386444305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34178650717916464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916448317158134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12588506669466376,0.1291270496726583,0.0,0.0,0.10818939907345274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310723249280885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12090341950458075,0.12623146727971962,0.12362116795469585,0.29336021487781466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931833618997463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13890649433604793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703244727943664,0.0,0.4399291243324945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10916192843008893,0.29755166129584243,0.0,0.0,0.09119045287428744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214259644861908,0.0,0.09686828650924456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228102157703353,0.07512503495162531,0.0,0.12212102027634722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334409277098533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625402881496807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13083873687549616,0.0,0.09152106567341532,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,psilocyborg10,2019/01/22,"Looking for tips for my husband My husband was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II. He hasn’t been able to be in our home because he is actively in his illness and it’s just not good for our child to be around. But because of this added stress of not being home he’s been in a really bad place mentally, like worse than ever. I’ve been trying to help but there’s not really much I can do beyond just encouraging him to learn more about Bipolar disorder, talking to him, listening, etc. I don’t really know much myself, and I’m worried about him. Can any of you guys tell me what knowledge or practice has helped you most? Maybe groups to connect with other people who experience this? Sorry if this is redundant to other questions asked, and TIA. ",3.906425287356321,5.83770726896552,4.910086206896555,81.38145114942532,72.86206896551724,8.14367816091954,27.94540229885057,8.841846274778883,2.3233333333333337,594,23,110,12,12,194,95,145,0.119,0.782,0.099,0.1411,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,2,0,0,8,5,0,1,1,0,15,4,0,0,1,21,20,7,0,1,9,2,0,1,0,0,4,1,2,2,8,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,4,2,14,3,23,13,5,8,0,0,1,0,25,6,0,4,3,80,22,1,0.16304988711863785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11087951445954486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14514896811908198,0.15242963433907047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613984514572774,0.19878739562636835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16549220325225672,0.0,0.0,0.1868692966177123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18184372442844904,0.0,0.14748795768101286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15949407642238855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675850946561574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16144502291418694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185778047830209,0.0,0.3271046621103729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960795383747426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965793887824546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13692084001624516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16380552700503848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16431593647285886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397208555853217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113038261832675,0.0,0.17035242863951966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18265318929253266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3133617984575193,0.0,0.16099209304470713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18252099953844247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18677309480633533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13105332304600864,0.14251278805637468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107001704778706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655850749988428,0.16616176471545155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,burdrean91,2019/01/22,"New to reddit, please forgive my possible lack of etiquette: My SO (in recovery from substance abuse) goes through episodes of depression quite frequently. Usually at night, and leading to suicidal thoughts and/or ideation. I want to help her so bad, but I don't know how. She lives in a sober house where most medications that have worked for her in the past are not allowed and if she were to take them on the low, she would be evicted outright. I don't know what I would do if anything were to happen. I trust her to call someone before it escalates to an intolerable level, but shit if I'm not still worried for the girl. Please... I want to be strong for her but I'm terribly inexperienced and unequipped to give her any real advice. ",6.028849206349207,6.866533964285718,5.985238095238099,79.8575396825397,66.5,9.365079365079367,34.12698412698413,9.444778638647367,3.0389603174603166,585,26,112,11,9,184,93,140,0.14,0.738,0.122,-0.6922,2,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,0,0,1,4,5,8,1,0,5,0,11,2,1,3,0,25,21,12,1,8,8,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,3,0,17,3,21,14,2,15,0,2,0,0,14,8,1,4,6,75,20,2,0.0,0.19908923162197692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16419792642400308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426682667794985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382751772550976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14029884749274954,0.0,0.0,0.14298198572392107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715784149422828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472483463948682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611906246963365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485892384076812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262762222818415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19388518767963175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846908616081332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14837443153806587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692735320020859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622853650660836,0.0,0.15768568958445875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16040458105527167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36889510891821337,0.0,0.1894296799304106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17872162783522658,0.0,0.1912560389742277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17248138365856622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14237210189258326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418975562749266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18379861677368425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633838331178399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13339782683455345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850623823979229,0.0,0.19821804803764967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12232855280598195,0.17064361399464378,0.0,0.23872877063944836,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,AceyCaseyKay,2019/01/22,"My job is triggering a really bad depressive faze. I really really hate my job, and it's exacerbating everything else. I'm constantly stressed, I want to die just so I don't have to keep going to that hell hole just to survive. I've been looking for a new job and so far no call backs. I've taken to drinking to numb everything, I'm so anxious all the time it feels like I'm on a never ending rollercoaster. I have diagnosed bipolar type 2 and general anxiety disorder that I am not currently medicated for, but I can't get myself to just call around to get in to a doctor I promise I will not kill myself, but I can't stop thinking about just dying to escape. I fantasize about natural disasters wiping out my town daily. I want a nearby volcano to blow, or a meteor to hit me. My house is a disaster, I can hardly bathe more than once a week (pretty proud of myself for actually keeping my teeth brushed more often than not recently) I just hope I hit a manic episode soon just for a break from this depression, but I don't think that's going to happen until I get a new job. If you've made it this far thank you for reading my rambling.",7.387006269592477,5.6061176379310345,8.657006269592479,70.56134796238246,64.43103448275862,12.574294670846395,35.74608150470219,11.567385478589935,4.059115517241379,900,34,177,24,11,315,131,232,0.183,0.7020000000000001,0.116,-0.9294,5,0,1,0,1,2,20.0,0,1,0,2,15,13,3,1,12,0,12,7,1,2,2,34,36,12,3,4,14,0,2,1,0,1,5,0,1,0,8,5,1,3,3,3,0,2,9,8,0,0,3,4,27,5,29,30,3,23,1,2,1,0,3,7,1,4,14,116,35,7,0.0,0.0,0.1104942982233133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661919126352187,0.12791553081754944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079702020011842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706542445307784,0.09454073906978666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23123711202124064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223593576950393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19504640377429808,0.11492414427978866,0.23502579548192815,0.0,0.12976921923760626,0.11589376450039235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109204376082608,0.0,0.0,0.09458755355076187,0.0,0.100286494140674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20352424158204385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057251532578644994,0.08089018163680557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17747103639127262,0.0,0.12870028410245687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012724030113562,0.0,0.10143014281773012,0.11178931310715903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246105775926428,0.0,0.130650032166971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4494456957663547,0.2012846864749222,0.1252701232831582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055317533278107664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508309191431498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713917175265318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406540471586844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732849573175294,0.218712820921078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205842376531217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519369016387955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325874725445816,0.0,0.21761047245719667,0.0,0.1117990948538706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466376673603363,0.12970241300363633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10424522744028814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14510399690344492,0.0,0.0,0.06602421923539714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356974125834015,0.0,0.09082475691609827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,sa7abi,2019/01/23,"FDA approves Generic Latuda ! GoodRx mentions Lupin, but the FDA site lists several other pharmaceutical companies. Hopefully these work just as good as the brand name latuda, and are significantly lower in cost. https://www.goodrx.com/blog/fda-approves-generic-latuda-lurasidone-schizophrenia-bipolar-depression/ https://www.fda.gov/Drugs/DevelopmentApprovalProcess/HowDrugsareDevelopedandApproved/DrugandBiologicApprovalReports/ANDAGenericDrugApprovals/",38.792142857142856,50.53602585714286,23.559642857142858,-58.26339285714278,4.7142857142857215,11.5,37.32142857142857,10.686352973137794,6.201714285714287,415,10,21,7,4,106,31,35,0.065,0.715,0.22,0.7745,1,0,4,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,11,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4183774774295205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4074257230810085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4824613296518178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5487614851841379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3536332341858263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,BrittKnee86,2019/01/23,"Latuda? Thoughts? I’ve been through abilify that caused anxiety, seroquel which made me groggy and most recently zyprexa which made it impossible for me to wake up. Prior to all of these I was only on lamictal and Wellbutrin which had been working well until a hypomanic episode this summer. I begged my doctor to take me off of zyprexa which he did reluctantly. He mentioned Latuda. Has Latuda worked well for anyone. Your input is appreciated. ",5.183461538461536,8.302377025641029,5.458653846153847,73.29259615384616,73.61538461538461,8.002564102564103,31.544871794871803,8.841846274778883,3.2608410256410263,360,17,55,8,8,114,59,78,0.039,0.863,0.098,0.6966,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,1,0,7,2,1,3,1,8,11,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,8,0,7,2,12,3,2,7,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,4,41,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198442876230714,0.0,0.0,0.18138087522679056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664787279468534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655103520268977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.490907501892751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972879601997775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25612954380163583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19503905915060726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059373086509978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4664695847175768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37769750128358187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,adltchickadee,2019/01/23,"A sense of place Hi guys....this is a post I've been thinking of making for a while, but I have a hard time wording it. It's one of the big things I struggle with and I think it contributes to my anxiety and depression, but I don't know how to express it to others. Here it is: I grew up in a rural area, and I hated it. When I went away to college at age 18, I moved to a suburb outside of a major city, met great new people from all over the world, explored the city even though the college is about a 30 min drive/subway ride from it. Basically.....I had fun, felt comfortable with the people around me, explored new places, and felt proud of where I was even though, to others, it was a bland suburb. Ever since finishing college, I have been searching for that feeling again: that feeling of just being in the right spot, where I need to be. It's been almost 15 years since I left that area. Since then, I've lived in 3 different places, two suburbs of major cities and downtown in a mid-size city. Everywhere I go, I long for that feeling of knowing that where I am is a perfect fit....that feeling I only had for the six years (Bachelors and Masters at the same college) I lived in that suburb, at my college. I now live in a suburb of another major city...basically the same distance (about 30 min) away from the city, but with good public transportation so I can go to the city anytime I want...just like the suburb where I went to college. I have met a few great friends here. It is basically the same situation (suburb of a large city, good friends, good public transit to put me in the city when I want to go there).......but I almost hate it here. It doesn't make any sense! My husband is obsessed with buying a house here (which is a crazy fantasy bc there's no way we can afford a downpayment anytime soon, but that's a whole other issue), and I almost get panic attacks thinking about staying here for the rest of my life. And yet, every time we move, I'm dissatisfied there, too. My husband says that if it were up to me, we'd just keep moving from place to place for the rest of our lives because whenever we end up somewhere, I immediately start talking about moving somewhere else. On paper these places are basically the same as the place where I felt the most comfortable, but they don't feel right...in the three places I've lived since leaving that college, I've felt like a puzzle piece that just doen't fit. I guess i'm just wondering if anyone else feels this way: a sense of never being in the place where you belong....or is this just my own anxiety that's for some reason clinging to this particular issue? I hope this makes sense. I've been trying to explain it to my husband and a number of psychiatrists over the year, and they just don't seem to get it.",5.5892266187050375,5.381218669064751,6.063588129496408,82.53642535971224,67.34532374100718,8.748561151079135,29.785071942446045,8.17850203761792,1.886682733812949,2164,69,446,25,32,701,232,556,0.081,0.787,0.132,0.9843,2,0,0,0,0,0,96.0,5,1,2,3,38,22,3,3,43,0,32,1,0,5,4,76,72,26,0,5,13,3,11,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,36,18,0,1,21,1,1,15,6,7,0,4,17,12,47,15,71,51,16,85,0,1,0,0,22,42,0,12,26,299,83,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18074668666344115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040915851504955664,0.06309069757287222,0.09205569425749596,0.0,0.0,0.0420704000848637,0.06164854567609938,0.0,0.053561684992990716,0.0,0.0684490304025402,0.11305838496402085,0.0,0.0,0.036677449392479716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051822038078276234,0.0,0.0,0.06286205984664762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052417695454052,0.0,0.053290400822859636,0.0,0.0,0.07947991556240748,0.054424799789750775,0.05069357532700156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18253447655031327,0.0,0.2310803110983931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929702686276262,0.0,0.06286989918086071,0.0,0.10258345031308934,0.1513965197072304,0.0,0.13266940004726194,0.06628110360397849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05389811472215464,0.11880557505253367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05975974029511213,0.0,0.0694250271819363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255981330219796,0.0,0.053479492496297104,0.0,0.0,0.06613278838292032,0.0,0.0,0.06370852103367472,0.06537198629025193,0.0,0.04249796856764117,0.058789442111460415,0.0,0.2656442987190793,0.0532461987428972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048649136943568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557934237127681,0.0,0.044613317047388204,0.04640475849394594,0.1162199754997262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04077094381629635,0.04575997004730173,0.0,0.07059340467261922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342490960693212,0.0,0.5657585386198286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05762367581721315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060484790712713475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06186204195989783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276515188591312,0.0,0.047847480292291265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0547740826983376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19908416738761145,0.06763060624446933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04258674989126438,0.06413037434231073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289996300755465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048360225341155264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039972504335223,0.1156583978068394,0.11822820368696085,0.0,0.07016811460445029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04084967145575306,0.0,0.058774744327540415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097650696092785,0.09551606104665122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155144597773684,0.0,0.06717468161470902,0.0,0.0,0.06524890900488826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11623737459044238 bipolarreddit,angelluxie,2019/01/23,"What did you wish you knew sooner? If you could go back and tell yourself (or someone newly dx) advice about living with BP that you wish you knew then, what would that be? I would say: Sometimes all you can do is endure an episode until it passes. It might not get better yet despite doing everything right to take care of yourself and that isn't failure. You're doing the work. Know what's at stake. Mental illness can take whatever it wants and never give it back. Your hopefulness and dedication can save you Gather at least one or two people you can tell when you're becoming unwell, with whom you can ""just be"". Whether that's a space to talk, a couch to lie on, monitor you, wellness check ins, people who know when to call your doctor or 911. be honest with care providers about how bad it is. Showing up well when you are not well is preventing you from getting necessary care. Some people won't stay in your life because of what happens when you're sick. It will hurt. This has nothing to do with your worthiness of love and care and connection. You're not bad. There will be terrible regrets for what you have done while unwell. One of the few ways I have found to heal is to dispel the crippling shame with whatever forgiveness and empathy. I will do right in the future. I am going to win. Of course... All of these come to me while I'm in remission and experiencing wellness. Thank you for reading. I'm hoping to learn from all of you who respond. ",3.849265156154317,5.653706253521129,4.224947948560931,86.76463257807717,72.73239436619718,7.1926515615431725,25.37599510104103,7.893859768569023,1.3672677893447638,1152,37,226,16,23,361,156,284,0.085,0.7390000000000001,0.17600000000000002,0.9784,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,19,0,3,16,23,0,1,7,0,34,7,0,1,4,48,61,22,0,10,9,0,0,0,0,7,6,1,1,0,20,14,0,1,7,2,1,4,6,6,4,3,5,2,24,17,37,44,6,30,0,2,0,1,32,11,0,8,13,165,44,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252871700766036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16135732377942508,0.17521123615093612,0.06395957274969435,0.11587827853823918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927951210149776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713725278609007,0.0,0.42790052498460907,0.0,0.0,0.09038114738145098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377180437107275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10739227310942707,0.0,0.10737179429339326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429726884181877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150417290135511,0.0,0.0,0.10963499253709544,0.100650893124572,0.1192593589411371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278231648154277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084227513209664,0.0,0.0,0.11232133858410226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532494652108527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07410962205222467,0.0,0.0,0.09264818645185396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09469634267506123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573685579666517,0.11130582733480003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092243533799523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006756389272386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14219593730128816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21821943715510786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495054992489404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17920589673087053,0.0,0.08343831011520257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890020271654643,0.0,0.10377069563035203,0.0,0.0,0.11183305849106212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15777680792789428,0.08433245501344584,0.18341317882318275,0.09659822496821098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10249370111414532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06188580634259495,0.08328232410471473,0.0,0.0,0.37735047734904215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413106038156363,0.0,0.0,0.07638457954830602,0.0,0.0,0.1490673792266635,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,LordoftheCatsx,2019/01/23,"New Meds...and i'm nervous. Weening on Lithium. [Long] Well, i've been on the Lithium train for almost 2 years now, but unfortunately its started to give me painful cystic acne. I've never had acne problems before, even in high school. i would get maybe *one* zit every once in awhile. So, having this acne suddenly for no reason was affecting my self confidence a lot. Not only that, Lithium was also severely affecting my short term memory, so after much deliberation, My pdoc has decided to ween me off. Here's where it gets scary to me. I haven't had a med change since February of 2017, besides a few Lithium tweaks here and there. I've been pretty stable for months and my blood tests have been alright. But...I'm terrified of going back on the roller coaster. This med change was somewhat needed. I have been hallucinating *a lot*. i hear voices, see things that aren't there, etc. I've also been so paranoid to the point i dont leave my house much other than work and back. I refuse to go to a store, and i refuse to go out anywhere in public where there's people because i'm convinced they are going to kill me. *sigh*. anyways, its gotten pretty bad so she's started me on Risperdone (a.k.a Risperdal) and something to help me sleep, Restoril (Temazepam). I'm mostly nervous to come off of Lithium, and i would appreciate any advice from people that have. Will I need to watch my moods extra carefully? what were withdrawals like? and my next questions: anyone have any experience with Risperdone and Temazepam? Thank you in advance <3",2.815535283632169,5.621888487889278,3.5043472790185604,85.53637202474577,81.07612456747405,5.579154870504352,24.32851001363112,6.980632752743323,1.1578133794694354,1219,45,217,15,33,384,172,289,0.15,0.718,0.132,-0.8659,0,0,1,0,0,1,59.0,0,1,1,2,19,14,1,2,8,1,24,4,2,3,1,31,44,15,1,5,2,0,0,1,0,3,2,2,0,1,11,11,0,2,3,1,1,6,6,6,2,1,12,4,25,6,32,29,10,36,0,0,2,0,11,16,0,6,15,141,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921769410037548,0.0,0.0,0.11191878784043552,0.0,0.0,0.1787605095394984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15201116839571224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815028206122791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17188428124073565,0.09332101167057344,0.06813229751860556,0.0,0.0951057246504706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395419255969864,0.0,0.23646992838480724,0.09627761660580172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309904217159928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246500634068069,0.0738212354395874,0.0,0.09416875528889117,0.0,0.0,0.10932984793150502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167875832945301,0.10721736092130918,0.25407968740049325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12596984943880452,0.0,0.07491525294909128,0.11808826953215855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12896443688275694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365393746554472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11834541336526685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054603848239677934,0.0,0.0,0.09891052716522072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19004109207718115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228525697953123,0.0,0.24829650760693076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921157790558762,0.0,0.1643236242689357,0.1657480463179518,0.08620181785696432,0.10794553710127887,0.11886577202642405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11902850728729306,0.07573640261843873,0.08500405413535911,0.11892826787436885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15497072059126604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10565620755460853,0.0,0.0,0.2274150130395016,0.0,0.10694619405548543,0.0,0.0,0.12520493461256746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11491538036950888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131144560187278,0.08906405293091255,0.0,0.11659765031845372,0.12626521499330046,0.0,0.09245505036725483,0.0,0.11184799866246928,0.0,0.0,0.08604391388361002,0.0,0.0,0.15821891445575784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290029655232168,0.0,0.0,0.07425321561453968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049220893074064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08136791219643738,0.0,0.0,0.1587925402744091,0.0,0.0,0.07197446496012731 bipolarreddit,Proto_Ubermensch,2019/01/23,"Will You Take Medications For The Rest of Your Life? It’s been 2 years since I was hospitalized for a manic/psychotic episode where I was diagnosed with bipolar. Over the course of 5 months post-hospitalization I tried a myriad of medical concoctions including lithium, abilify, latuda, and many others whose name I’ve since forgotten. Whether due to the depressive episode that came directly after my manic one or the terrible side effects I decided I would go off medications. So now it’s been 19 months since I’ve taken any medications. I’ve avoided drugs, alcohol, and other stressors. I make sure to sleep 8-10 hours a day, eat healthy, drink lots of water, workout, meditate, etc. and it seems like I’ve been stable. I still get occasional periods of depression which I easily ride out or bursts of hypomania which makes life easier however all delusions/serious effects have all but disappeared. I recognize however that can be an illusion and at any point, things can spin outside of my control. So recently I got a pdoc to write a prescription for Latuda, however, I haven’t picked up the medication yet because I’m starting to question whether I should get back on it. This is primarily because I feel like the effects of long-term medication use can have irreversible consequences on the brain. It doesn’t help that we have had 0 longitudinal studies showing the effects of staying on these medications for 20+ years (if there are, I'd love to see them!). So given that I’m currently stable, I am having a hard time convincing myself to start taking medications indefinitely. I understand some people cannot function without their medication, however, I’m lucky to not be part of that cohort (for now). Anyways I’m not advocating that anyone stop taking medications but I am curious how others view this topic, do you intend on sticking with medications for the rest of your life?",8.186407624633432,8.793878923753669,8.742197947214077,62.75329692082114,61.81524926686218,12.919706744868035,39.630645161290325,12.340626583579946,5.515378768328446,1527,77,244,52,20,511,203,341,0.062,0.8270000000000001,0.111,0.9604,5,1,3,0,0,0,45.0,1,4,2,5,12,10,0,1,16,0,26,24,2,11,3,48,50,15,0,3,10,0,2,2,0,3,18,0,0,0,21,9,4,3,9,3,0,4,6,4,0,1,10,4,26,6,37,35,8,37,0,2,2,1,13,12,0,9,22,160,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773815749543606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847913789592316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050628993151861326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05567688220902296,0.0,0.08827785475649402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083069359779081,0.0,0.08281486685711292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121114507623957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04669683408949781,0.0,0.12472891180916107,0.07349206742209083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093176399337131,0.0839696882467859,0.07409092796977929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075347957999614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03661139718425359,0.05172791774863604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565983895245196,0.0,0.041150839172110466,0.0,0.05791087582259314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486287926099346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04853320715538703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130678182964269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15343063212416988,0.07074927398025291,0.0,0.0,0.06407834073550203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06155824966703055,0.06535057713217908,0.0,0.09666510950105728,0.0734098193048839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8023720962279158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11558991849345017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04906518195943794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841024412917051,0.0,0.05019822926171372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844847219544206,0.0,0.06934634998597053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111294815433354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149365060074996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05769938645113747,0.06591704980793278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796886455853641,0.0,0.0724597712122778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250077319234226,0.07717673891509587,0.057824706578686186,0.06053589496787035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682431924239838,0.0,0.16332423985276465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048104311919269664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04222138352168756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049159925558521285,0.0,0.0,0.07537873963878207,0.0,0.06253681411349805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979822627140336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05143619589127688,0.0,0.0,0.0932560855179059 bipolarreddit,okaylookingpineapple,2019/01/23,"Hallucinations? Hey, I'm in the process of switching therapist/psychiatrist so I'm coming here for now. Can it be auditory hallucinations if the sounds/voices you hear are familiar? Like, I'll hear my kids, or my phone, or someone say my name. I've even thought I heard my kids playing, but when i went in to fuss they were sleep. My husband says it's happened to him before, but it happens to me regularly. Right now it's multiple times a day. I stopped asking if my husband hears them too bc the last few times he didn't. So here I am. ",2.3738888888888847,4.434606388888888,4.136814814814816,84.6396666666667,77.7037037037037,7.282962962962964,27.46666666666667,8.238735603445708,1.8310377777777784,422,18,89,8,10,142,75,108,0.024,0.94,0.036000000000000004,-0.1431,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,2,0,9,2,0,0,4,0,6,1,1,0,0,10,18,9,0,2,6,2,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,2,4,1,0,1,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,6,15,2,7,12,1,13,0,0,0,0,19,3,0,4,9,52,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17502124384251067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159306622887254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612695977815483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207385258129419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365408873615423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311081413265968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6330165099986702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15260564037761068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914640490010522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15988103560964778,0.0,0.2977625998718493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18735073003334632,0.0,0.158627106981582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15652056204023396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217371654415791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14862821484760005,0.21833375660633425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17355066751104595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,RTPTL,2019/01/23,Lamotragine and menstrual cycles Has anyone experienced way shorter menstrual cycles after starting lamotragine? I’m usually on a 25-26 day cycle and lately it’s been 19-20 which is not normal. ,4.984705882352942,8.388226588235298,7.160294117647062,58.866323529411794,77.23529411764707,10.458823529411768,32.029411764705884,10.125756701596842,5.1853176470588265,160,8,19,6,4,56,30,34,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,5,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,4,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986573663086759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754617979917281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4818182422243693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4184941040430548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023229286271361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4704204193000003,0.0,0.0,0.3390338001876406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,xd8282,2019/01/23,"Looking for a new job while in school. Any suggestions? I want to go back to school, but the classes I need to take at the community college are in the mornings and afternoons. I work a full-time job 8:30 to 5:30 to support myself. I've been looking for a job where I can start later in the afternoon and work full-time. Anyone have suggestions or share experience if you have been in my situation.",4.091153846153849,5.668803500000003,5.213333333333335,80.84000000000002,71.69230769230771,8.78974358974359,29.66666666666667,9.2995712137729,2.5975743589743594,315,13,62,7,6,104,50,78,0.0,0.897,0.103,0.7579,3,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,7,14,6,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,7,2,12,12,0,14,0,0,2,0,4,6,0,2,7,40,7,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292941624818294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366803700500061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503078846686503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19121164605754729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109270747379194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5819350697630671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3282988282242344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14494192284587162,0.0,0.1887905656526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3956614179468244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21972161589987094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13835791251386978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218222348015257,0.0,0.0,0.14697255565438222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529597076219344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846156419625525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,miepert,2019/01/24,"Hello, concerned daughter here Hello, I hope this isn't against the rules but I'm posting here hoping to find some advice and a little support. I'm (f26) from Holland and my mom (55) has been in the psychiatric hospital for about 3 months now. Looking back, I guess she already hit a manic state about 7 months back. The trigger seemed to be a renovation (of the whole area) that started in September 2018. She was constantly worried that I was going to be raped by the construction crew. At a certain I wasn't allowed to do any chores at home and she started treating me like I was 9 or something. Then she stopped taking her meds, she offered her body to a friend (even though she is disgusted by sex) and started going on shopping sprees. She only got commited cuz she kept me up at night for a week straight, which sorta forced her to seek help. Now she blames me for getting her commited. She also told me my stepdad doesn't want to have sex with me because I'm fat (I have been diagnosed with c-ptsd because of past abuse of a familymember so this was extremely hurtful on multiple levels). She accused me trying to control her when I asked her why she didn't pay rent, and suddenly my boyfriend is too dumb and autistic to function and she hates his guts. This isn't even half of the things she has done or said. I'm am tired and exhausted. She suddenly came home today, late at night, because she claims she is getting abused by the everyone and she left. I quickly packed a bag and left to go to my stepdads house, she freaked out, started yelling then asked her if I could forgive her. Here's the thinge, I don't doubt it that she will get better. But I am constantly incredible angry and upset, I have no patience anymore. I am constantly swinging between being scared she is going to hurt herself and just hoping that she does, just so I can be done with all of this. I feel guilty and I am just drained of all my energy all the damn time. Is there anything I can do? Is there any advice you guys have for me when dealing with my mother? I don't want to hate her after all of this is done. P.s. I am already looking at other housing options and an in-house therapist of my doctors clinic is helping me trying to get urgency to move. I am also in a lot of contact with the people from the mental facility my mom is commited in. School is also quite aware of what is going on, I can always stay at my stepdads house (who has never done anything weird to me, ever) and my boyfriend is an angel who is always ready to help me. I am exercising, eating right and always try to get 8 hours of sleep. tldr: mom is manic and borderline abusive, driving me crazy. I don't want to hate her after all of this is done, do you have any advice for me?",3.486315207686747,5.038000140767824,4.493283448832957,85.5053399090175,73.18647166361974,7.062777943114664,28.26023553420348,7.65591337171366,1.6758517835126057,2155,85,426,27,43,701,252,547,0.16699999999999998,0.733,0.1,-0.9933,2,0,1,0,3,0,63.0,0,2,0,3,27,25,7,3,22,0,61,14,4,4,11,66,103,33,0,8,8,5,1,1,1,1,7,2,4,1,18,24,2,3,4,2,3,8,10,15,0,1,18,5,81,10,67,78,8,66,1,2,2,3,58,22,2,13,34,310,99,3,0.0,0.2237384320644778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18452724091125375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892264336981242,0.1510111703095373,0.15712573179708408,0.0,0.0,0.12841418106656546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06242448030309732,0.0,0.0,0.10359666735177378,0.0,0.11769006961798167,0.0,0.0,0.09680156814217733,0.0,0.11511197871013945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05566969642154132,0.0,0.06991765368851154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199225835920632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20406340018705346,0.0705981179449722,0.05025642368923305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489348340919747,0.0,0.0638878030720271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06442682736580624,0.055083553202289866,0.3220727085201284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440840190779785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314909660338815,0.05693731433049564,0.0,0.06014660075169854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03182685989857293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057530547380492875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048631115122986936,0.0,0.16443070187744407,0.0,0.1788653389063726,0.0,0.05034282964218708,0.0,0.06934096302881691,0.06232540040075772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864353308725064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12657202702118714,0.0,0.12627784165151895,0.1875556252279877,0.0619881001451164,0.2905201018896913,0.13476774968866906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100464951547371,0.0,0.13677975284046404,0.0,0.0,0.030751724928210593,0.06308737988686786,0.0,0.0,0.10571581611105432,0.0,0.0,0.053513548742592135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991765368851154,0.0,0.06343370856554577,0.0,0.0,0.22116110721870494,0.10048412310144687,0.06690052432838829,0.0,0.0,0.048547028762760965,0.0,0.0,0.1181391501663326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047872473732607834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060088080721194675,0.04363810541915483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060283866097034476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357928252116312,0.0,0.0,0.06694970635711449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537546465742925,0.05987506526247643,0.0,0.06301887953640448,0.06370365366235238,0.0,0.05730272184385912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299041183950463,0.0,0.0,0.04845810060640925,0.0,0.0,0.17821104895123582,0.0670909456013861,0.0,0.05262479982069046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142918758029901,0.0,0.0,0.04732677162136587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730839427817979,0.08363566068056688,0.0,0.06184309746714072,0.0,0.036703708719606515,0.07234596475506691,0.0596644561916072,0.06014660075169854,0.0,0.12820647533617718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11137969370195087,0.0,0.05049064511451752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056798030295132876,0.07027579296429358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392365595053283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,suckonmyusername,2019/01/24,"Diagnosed Borderline but having my diagnosis looked into. Recent letter mentions the word euthymic over and over after psych said it could of been Bipolar I didn’t know how to write the title to explain my situation so here it goes.. I’ve had mental health issues since 14, been in the system since 17. I’m now 32. Nan has Schizophrenia on my mother’s side. I’ve had two psychotic episodes and my clinical notes state psychotic disorder and borderline personality disorder. After being out of the system for several years. I seeked help again after some warning symptoms under a new team. Under the new team, I requested that I had my diagnosis looked into again. I’ve met with this new team a few times now but the most recent letter from the minutes of that meeting mention the word euthymic three times. The psych also stated during that meeting that my previous psychosis ‘could of been bipolar’. I’ve researched the word euthymic and I can only find a correlation to Bipolar and no results on euthymia with Borderline. I’m here because I’d like some insight into what they may mean by this ‘euthymic state’. Well, it says euthymic then later on in the mental state part it says ‘euthymic reactive state’. Please help shed some light on this, I’m clueless. Thanks and love to you all TLDR : Psych letter mentions I’m in a euthymic state 3 times but my diagnosis is Borderline however recent psych said my psychosis ‘could of been bipolar’ ",4.841219898605832,7.455516498098862,5.284510456273765,76.6932802598226,72.2319391634981,7.5772496831432194,30.349968314321927,8.472884824447931,2.729628770595691,1161,51,184,21,24,370,133,263,0.06,0.846,0.094,0.8847,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,3,10,4,0,0,15,0,17,9,0,2,1,35,31,13,0,3,3,1,0,1,0,1,8,4,0,1,12,12,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,11,7,15,4,32,15,7,43,0,0,2,1,26,16,0,5,20,121,27,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978536138917982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07459132391288725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2930905973557917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419582739589988,0.0,0.0,0.28047710347961824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118375274918125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006610318531056,0.0,0.0,0.16403462387909554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12771513802452805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724748205288612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597803608460981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20550813487737307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043734762713862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332891339928826,0.0,0.0,0.24662616465951895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35453672411413817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306254400400477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250716012664027,0.0,0.0,0.10684261580799496,0.0,0.13431778378407108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3624559793202061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327903891850266,0.19461587215110826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13823531413899076,0.0,0.20243980785890744,0.13754109242504994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271819660656965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11265537242113942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21405247576554368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119530830650716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001899510327612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879773359810058 bipolarreddit,jruffo,2019/01/24,"Improving Physique and Body Confidence causing onset of some mania symptoms? Hey guys, I’m a 22 yo male in college and I have been lifting 6 days a week for a while now. I would say I’m pretty built and over the last few weeks I have definitely been becoming more defined (guess that happens when the holiday season and all the food that comes with it finishes haha). My body confidence is definitely improving and my attitude in general has become better because of it. The issue is the last time I really looked good it caused me to almost have too much confidence and for someone with bipolar I feel this could be an issue. The last time I crashed there were a lot more factors involved and I have learned a lot since. I do not drink alcohol anymore and I have cut back my marijuana usage substantially. I am currently eating a normal amount of food and getting enough sleep everyday. But I’m noticing some possible signs of some type of mania coming if I’m not careful. This means I will probably have to up my meds dealing with the mania, but these meds often cause weight gain, so taking more may take away a lot of what I have worked for exercise-wise. I feel like I’m stuck in that I have to make a choice between my mental and physical health (along with my body confidence). I will obviously choose mental health if push comes to shove because I do not want to experience the same crash that I did last time, but it just feels unfair. Has anyone had some type of experience with this? I have an appointment with my psychiatrist coming up and I’m wondering what is best to say to her. It’s just a really frustrating scenario I haven’t seen talked about before. Thank you for reading!",4.934433333333331,6.4744693292307725,5.630326923076925,78.81513141025643,69.55384615384615,9.232051282051284,29.541666666666664,9.621722640351123,2.7946743589743583,1352,52,250,31,24,439,176,325,0.058,0.82,0.122,0.9577,1,0,2,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,4,11,9,2,0,19,1,29,14,4,4,2,63,56,19,0,6,10,0,4,1,0,4,5,2,0,2,15,22,6,0,7,3,0,5,4,2,0,0,7,8,29,7,34,43,17,30,0,0,2,0,10,7,0,14,19,171,44,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192886429587276,0.08613627147640428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530839597630333,0.06014695156617325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808183092015247,0.06614381462291674,0.0,0.10487358179291224,0.1900039290421928,0.0731964013864467,0.0,0.0902723340394215,0.07607740558112118,0.0,0.2866453765077309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770278391677097,0.2650976811617151,0.0,0.2963933073643351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867970500703137,0.0,0.0,0.055475569301764685,0.08868250007167157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426652611114957,0.0,0.08801959467620407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888131102411133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16828748137137553,0.0,0.0,0.13048238545488094,0.061452467642679615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20803064674979027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04494172593288371,0.0,0.0,0.072149215915461,0.0,0.0,0.09476036168373228,0.08517299480834742,0.07606690787744079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18286976816258574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795643684974779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28047003958701194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04202486451457063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223485608507678,0.0,0.0,0.2193925356237407,0.0,0.0,0.05741879600350274,0.0,0.0,0.09370063542667544,0.1910969176718206,0.0,0.1733751855772039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06323435315523437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428101043585569,0.0,0.0979339615723307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697425040287948,0.0,0.08751292646641436,0.09274375043745896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604294563406142,0.0,0.11021280330763432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13681258433001164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07115635785077053,0.0,0.08608178986550992,0.0,0.07288418512023884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940737086494978,0.12935216934614138,0.06913935036168585,0.0,0.07919535271834836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150476279596471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05073662857856937,0.0,0.1379995772688732,0.10474878116995456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328466003998484,0.06262334242230194,0.0,0.0,0.06110590376034551,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,CamembertFiend,2019/01/24,"Does anyone get voices in your head that seems like running commentary in various voices? Sorry if I'm not describing it too well.... Usually when I get auditory hallucinations they don't sound like they're coming from insidemy head, it might sound as though it's across the room. But recently I've been hypomanic and maybe even going towards manic the past few nights I've definitely been hearing things on and off but tonight I can't control what seems like this constant running commentary. I've been laying trying to sleep for nearly 4 hours so far and keep getting interrupted with multiple random conversation tid bits or shouting in various voices etc. I feel like my brain is going a million miles a minute! Anyway I just want to know if anyone else knows what I'm talking about? I hope it makes sense.",7.56453333333333,8.21690558666667,7.587333333333337,70.35033333333337,63.13333333333333,10.666666666666668,34.0,10.504223727775694,3.696800000000001,658,26,110,15,9,212,107,150,0.027000000000000003,0.851,0.122,0.9161,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,1,1,9,6,0,0,4,0,7,4,4,2,0,24,25,12,0,4,7,0,1,4,0,1,0,7,1,0,9,5,0,2,5,0,0,5,3,0,1,1,3,8,8,6,15,21,5,24,0,0,0,0,5,11,0,8,12,65,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20771675017903415,0.1521905607656714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16216057793649916,0.0,0.0,0.1658129852443363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12794882570399468,0.0,0.1605124070490646,0.1665934288181118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998304015139656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408103624697775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16565459136914634,0.09810525768607514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510321625216257,0.10611266686704827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328085384662836,0.0,0.1688305069455373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30487732153426433,0.0,0.16740853043544074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14752770380842914,0.1462759978551366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13202377871551998,0.0,0.0,0.16326072316246312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902646952631322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914754941419328,0.0,0.14922229362225978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15757102353872135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139389028183497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14179243993792906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146659333286358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27043941653005105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14864119606116774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16627157021701747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938594386465876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09867934082254136,0.0,0.14593382877166888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10084478616264833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16358913547416512,0.0,0.08760915831109391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354983825299574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Peanutbutter_cheese,2019/01/24,"Motivation to take medication Hey guys! I'm really struggling to take my medication lately, family or friends can't really understand why it's so hard to do and to be honest I'm not really sure. What do you guys do to keep yourself taking it consistently? ",4.59234693877551,6.623278387755103,7.489540816326532,63.18492346938777,71.24489795918367,12.246938775510205,28.5765306122449,11.698219412168324,4.50911836734694,207,8,35,9,4,76,35,49,0.129,0.706,0.165,0.4504,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,1,1,4,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,1,1,7,12,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,3,5,11,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,19,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18857143244363944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15454346091439405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3961242943514416,0.0,0.0,0.17918849345881493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17779675116195584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22564369024612402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4030203933269761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3844349582602573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20911584139892048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18852685817521905,0.0,0.4511952725188783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082393342476906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18049687227470887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,bottomlessteacup,2019/01/24,"Help! Overwhelming lust, and no idea if this is just soooo hot or if feelings are due to barely sleeping for weeks and brain being a mess We have been talking just over a week. He wants to get me and basically have me live with him and be his domestic helper, which i love since that is my pesonalirt anyway. But i am also usually frigid have ptsd and dont feel things for people easily But omg he is soooo hot and i feel the most ovrrpowering lust. My bidy hurts so much. We have nothing in common, he almost exclusively talks about sex, is smart, a lawyer, but might be a sex addict but i kind of dont mind at all Then this other guy has entered my life who i hace tons more in common with He hasnt sent a picture yet but if i was thinking rationally he would be someone i have real longterm potential with But the other guy is so sexually forward and hotnand i cant resist him for some reason, he is like a vampire amd l want him to drink my blood .. Not really but kind of if you get what i mean I am somewhere with mold which means i have had insomnia for nearly a month I should leave but i was helping a family with nine kids and they basically want my help so much and make me feel pressured so i cant go The lawyer guy will pick me up and make me his and he is so hot and i need him so badly and i never have flings or do amythig like this but i cant control my desire help :( The family here is not down for me to leave until end of month. And that is to go to another over protective family to see if xan sleep there.. But then they want me to come back. They sont believe me about the mold causing insomnnia but this happened to me in the past This phone doesnt work well so sorry for all the typos Im just so full of burning desire and i already felt this way for another stranger a few weeks ago and poof it just faded practically overnight and i cant tell what is lust and what is genuine and maybe this is all just lust but is still genuine lust and i just sont hink i can resist it He sent me a pic of his ex wife giving him a blowjob which i thought was kind of awful since that pic was meant to be private im sure But im probably a masochist and like how dominant and narcissistic he is in an awful primal way Sorry if i offend anyone Help the lust is killing me and he says he is not picking me up sunday and i dont know how to handle this at all ",1.9829084687767349,3.501267249501001,3.5707256914741947,90.70833832335329,77.10379241516966,6.767436555460508,22.3078129455375,7.536579438409214,0.6964232107214143,1856,52,419,25,42,616,224,501,0.103,0.813,0.084,-0.9112,2,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,2,1,3,2,26,18,2,2,21,2,53,17,4,9,6,104,82,59,1,15,30,2,8,3,0,4,3,1,0,4,23,32,1,2,13,1,0,7,14,7,1,1,11,10,56,11,44,62,12,43,0,2,1,9,47,14,0,12,25,286,79,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593051322769595,0.0,0.0,0.06987330416404472,0.0,0.07893150975430825,0.0,0.08698497126637372,0.06303605129515279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16530905554529965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055116034312418696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060611297187690275,0.0658152977269515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880839785570256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799438828399167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097463800791664,0.0,0.06790046408541245,0.0,0.0,0.08840855762521273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771457397520524,0.07721815692389114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06981525144401994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229266197695188,0.0,0.15942446395331686,0.0,0.0756840339629057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236526188200734,0.07561579545926729,0.08959574040873379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23414641550953386,0.06970438559966008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641725367562137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438342771161275,0.08898344540018302,0.2554324741823683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720780629911337,0.24625125733784475,0.043319971123835,0.0,0.0,0.16692786492176953,0.0,0.0,0.05567618774856704,0.11552924034785902,0.0,0.0696036180001382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114233223540073,0.0,0.10523214388430144,0.0,0.07918996468386331,0.17172632370537466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362050660351306,0.07959043516950925,0.0,0.1258341815083175,0.0,0.1158903880404671,0.058447485838370734,0.06079443637932101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563438618901468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07524705617745865,0.05464709357566115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498631432300545,0.0,0.09214180814089716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971971881534338,0.05049709495325222,0.08104487764366977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268453259852677,0.0,0.0,0.06281304773151476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13040914489356994,0.0,0.15776317038053075,0.0,0.06678787774472973,0.0,0.0,0.17647550448121455,0.0,0.0,0.06294947447081993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429130822229282,0.0,0.0,0.12671255010091492,0.0688962262722434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0523676008797004,0.05050765866406731,0.0,0.06257797441777399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681422558519368,0.0,0.18597130453444785,0.12513469059992094,0.18968516037298497,0.0,0.070872834869848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05738529052313762,0.0,0.0,0.055994776138258665,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Arrisha,2019/01/24,"Is my therapist at fault or am I being paranoid? F25. I've been seeing my M66 psychiatrist for the past 2 years and everything has been great. He's always been a very good professional and never made me feel uncomfortable. Considering that I've known how he approaches therapy for 2 years now, I find it very strange that he has suddenly changed our boundaries - and without asking me. First thing, is that one day instead of a good bye handshake he said ""I'm going to hug you today"", and he did so. I didn't mind (goodbye hugging is very common in my culture) but I don't like that he didn't ask first if that was ok instead of just announcing it and going for it. He proceeded with doing this again after every session since then. Then last time he kissed me on the cheek (also common and non-sexual way to say goodbye in my culture) but still strange as he's never done it before. He also called me once to check on me and ask how I was feeling (I had just lost my dad so maybe that's fine) but he's also never done that before all these years. Today I cancelled our next appointment because something came up, and he said ok but I have to pay for it anyway, which I know some therapists do but 1) mine never does and 2) I cancelled way earlier than the timespan that would require me to pay. What is going on here? Is this an approach I'm not aware of, is something wrong? &#x200B; TL;DR: My therapist of two years suddenly crossed some boundaries, which he's never done before and I'm troubled. ",3.5340656565656587,5.248518774410776,4.572276936026935,84.32285984848488,73.37710437710437,7.23956228956229,27.189814814814817,7.9370924344782425,1.7018441077441069,1184,44,229,17,24,386,155,297,0.111,0.8240000000000001,0.065,-0.8993,0,0,2,0,0,0,39.0,2,1,0,4,16,14,0,0,6,2,27,4,1,3,6,42,45,27,0,2,11,1,2,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,20,12,0,1,5,0,3,7,10,4,0,4,17,6,26,10,25,26,3,45,0,1,1,3,27,7,0,4,31,152,46,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174707838626881,0.07542544918778613,0.09821583506735873,0.11014585683816637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25422773335457394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05525748457496296,0.0,0.2314014045143099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256057910830197,0.1036758593773574,0.0,0.0,0.09589235866145436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584597257492873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07932567814877405,0.27828962945886593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637388921749462,0.0,0.08146755293190787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166755221939336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828495879426685,0.15420834582094306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15455009869045785,0.15206057111377114,0.0,0.0999384832930108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049817143701352734,0.0738892894724512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044285477104506345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895175579766156,0.0,0.0,0.08577225079422786,0.0,0.0,0.09106695475589748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915274882053438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3495622336282005,0.0,0.09640396410303853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653594763353396,0.06142465837598859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653268488985012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17245184379102838,0.0720860214653922,0.0,0.0,0.07223381142650641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498401940945684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395687630494082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07239069958456272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10366258449856597,0.3157439736137781,0.06022174601320857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05285691309827889,0.0,0.17184524866781142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854881083258663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22437945871667608,0.0,0.143902516597262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738033841421866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643929286432489,0.09910811155791184,0.11014585683816637,0.2334944237710095 bipolarreddit,bunnywithbpd,2019/01/24,"What are red flags when seeing a psychiatrist? I am meeting with one and she prescribed me abilify ..during the appointment she told me the side effects were sleepiness (that's it) I went home and read up on how it can cause permanent tardive dyskinesia...is that a red flag if she doesnt tell me that?!? Hello I would never take this sh*t if she told me.. now I have to go back another appointment to get a different medication when I couldve done it the first time if she asked me. I feel like I should switch. What are signs that the psychiatrist is really bad for you guys??",3.729459193706983,5.414125053097352,4.761533923303833,83.28757128810228,72.80530973451326,8.916027531956734,25.829891838741396,9.444778638647367,2.1383596853490654,453,15,93,11,9,148,77,113,0.048,0.928,0.024,-0.5492,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,2,5,2,0,0,7,0,11,1,0,3,1,14,20,8,0,5,3,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,10,3,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,1,0,2,5,4,18,1,6,13,0,12,0,0,3,0,13,3,0,3,8,65,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22579190479118666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20130414809831296,0.0,0.0,0.16557520335143447,0.17979125691750375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22120285782618976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22497364552797672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22035698483249005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887713703157988,0.15383153941742586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18315928365989464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250085064981273,0.0,0.12237679793966925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21321019986284126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159931880392801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051991864618841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21692196069602854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16607549472124253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14591293833426086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153879134660636,0.0,0.13794568262827914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715898460160516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619010928348851,0.0,0.18820759832689946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556044600588995,0.0,0.0,0.4115134017553542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19961273562106288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15296399971444882,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Aayu29,2019/01/25,"i surprise myself. moments when i feel that euphoria while doing something i love. share yours. appreciated.",4.651176470588236,5.933930588235298,5.1712941176470615,64.04282352941179,125.47058823529413,6.065882352941178,32.811764705882354,6.742157984588678,3.86112705882353,88,5,10,2,5,28,15,17,0.0,0.359,0.6409999999999999,0.9442,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,9,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3921020013346607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6998938596345988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5969963197500787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,asunnysnowman,2019/01/25,"::peeks in:: Hey. It's been a while. How is everyone?",-4.212272727272726,-6.782134272727271,-0.5720454545454547,104.06193181818183,164.45454545454547,4.736363636363637,11.840909090909092,5.985473137389443,-0.4497454545454542,37,1,10,1,4,13,11,11,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Kougaiji_Youkai,2019/01/25,Anyone on geodon? I'm dropping Seroquel and have been prescribed geodon as a substitute to cross titrate to. Anybody taking it and have any thoughts on it? ,4.431666666666668,7.488459785714286,3.2214285714285715,88.59023809523809,76.14285714285714,5.161904761904762,34.333333333333336,6.42735559955562,2.166604761904761,126,7,21,1,3,36,22,28,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,6,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,13,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4641104404907487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4772065396865383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5131407288921936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5418136301901898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,hinsijutsowshaanu,2019/01/25,"A bit disappointed about psych evaluation I thought I would get a very thorough evaluation but instead I just got 30 minutes of basic questions (I didn't even fill out any forms) and then was told by the pdoc they would treat me for 'bipolar depression'; then I was given a prescription and out the door. I don't know if he thinks it's bipolar 1 or bipolar 2, or if he just hasn't decided yet (can it be tentative?) Did I just go to the wrong place? I thought psych evaluations were supposed to be really thorough. It just didn't seem thorough enough to me.",3.521111111111111,5.2978225454545465,4.623939393939394,83.68035353535353,73.54545454545455,8.161616161616159,30.40404040404041,8.841846274778883,2.4641919191919195,440,20,89,9,9,144,70,110,0.065,0.9,0.035,-0.4606,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,8,4,0,0,6,0,13,3,0,0,0,22,23,9,0,4,9,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,7,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,11,0,11,1,9,8,3,8,0,2,0,0,5,3,0,6,3,60,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660956148604374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26665330751318844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103686703645841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523713472428095,0.0,0.16132213993878142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276084228553083,0.0,0.13881059644405386,0.0,0.19534579063893776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342311811299581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551850223710471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27361135129097314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564702035426156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223523306876536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15650293623709902,0.0,0.3878079879049783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23338746275475836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20152848013793465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470106162656492,0.2670445931972795,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,whyboonwhy,2019/01/25,"Once again I screwed up So I woke up this morning and I started to argue with my wife over every thing, I blamed her for my unhappiness. I started telling her what's really going on in my head, like how I just wanted to say screw my job, my house, my life. I went to see doc yesterday. And told her the meds are no longer working so she added lithium. We get back and my wife is mad because I wanted to try something else, I finally tell her I have been thinking of ending it, that's why I wanted new meds. We yell and scream then she leaves. I try and call and all she does is scream at me. Now don't get me wrong I started the fight because I am toxic toward her. I just needed to vent some where. ",0.3801351351351343,2.4540815405405425,2.129662162162159,96.269222972973,84.94594594594595,4.781081081081081,19.385135135135137,5.985473137389443,-0.23062972972972995,540,15,124,4,16,177,95,148,0.179,0.787,0.034,-0.963,1,0,1,0,1,0,15.0,2,0,0,1,9,9,5,0,2,0,7,4,1,1,1,19,22,10,0,4,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,5,9,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,8,0,0,4,5,34,1,15,18,2,21,0,0,1,2,19,8,2,1,12,82,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194380509369303,0.0,0.18937365913244972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15860779487146495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13592904246136167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12975705465128698,0.0,0.13757497273691344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308709849402605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17015481111219208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16230549089938848,0.0,0.08827678257349403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15941188302746426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17922826764923244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413959743932626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644704845334386,0.0,0.0,0.10971313363737052,0.07588567331842137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3450699587995853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517413608690424,0.0,0.15001726121377665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16541981400166852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950743308655756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352348068506692,0.0,0.0,0.1237767271541608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957949028334865,0.0,0.0,0.3298269968762109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27152796144206925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319337271311152,0.09952824948694756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14842306590970478,0.0,0.21091575030624926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27485037246864763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14399110254550054,0.1401598376080771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308101906000867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16982736257173706,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,belleofthebell,2019/01/25,"What is your work schedule? For the last 10 years, I've been very firm about keeping a routine schedule. That has varied between jobs, but I always work the same time every day. It seems to have worked well for me. I (28F) am now 7 months pregnant and stressing about how to juggle baby/sleeping/work. Currently I work in hospitality, roughly from 3-11, five days a week but the days are not set. I might have the opportunity to work three days at 11-7 then two days at 3-11. The days would still likely not be set. Part of me says hey, that's great for working out our childcare (husband 30M, is in restaurants and his schedule is all over). Another part of me says don't fix what isn't broken and that's a terrible idea. Please share your schedules, routines, feedback. ",3.1012196356275332,4.994692796052632,3.7200000000000015,89.21730769230774,74.98684210526315,5.992712550607287,26.16599190283401,6.67199483983844,0.947585425101214,603,22,123,5,13,190,101,152,0.048,0.8140000000000001,0.13699999999999998,0.9285,2,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,2,0,7,6,7,0,1,8,0,14,0,0,1,1,16,16,7,0,1,4,1,1,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,6,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,2,1,3,1,3,11,5,18,12,4,27,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,2,20,76,17,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247992675656137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12914518388064333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.476572441597001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376856428970396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13578558110447486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390339250397656,0.0,0.0,0.12221841788516435,0.1094712716450846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039275940377622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060170307222831884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065449640227292,0.0,0.0,0.098306039289594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667430045988197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13519393662718207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19588534849962985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212126754185664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983566378612107,0.0,0.1410806587982839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181624559375784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031052842537852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162083108807173,0.0,0.0,0.0987924298722021,0.0,0.11073664732057976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6276393886040599,0.0,0.0,0.08749013339743192,0.0,0.0,0.07931173000555818 bipolarreddit,ironhorse12272,2019/01/25,"The mixture I have bipolar type II, schizzoeffective disorder, adhd, and severe anxiety. I take depakote, lamotrigene, geodon for this, and hydroxizone for sleep. The hydroxizone does not work for sleep. Serequel and amatriptileye are too sedating the next morning. I am looking for suggestions on what to ask my psych. nurse for sleep. Do people recommend a psychiatrist as opposed to a nurse practitioner? I have not had much luck with nurse practitioners. I have been struggling with mania symptoms and panic attacks for a year now and have not found solutions. After my brother died in august I had a severe depressive episode that lasted from August until December and they would not put me on an antidepressant to pull me out. I was out of work from October to present because of this, and panic attacks that have been out of control, along with higher than normal blood pressure. This occurred when they put me on the lamotrigene. Higher anxiety and higher blood pressures. Any suggestions for all this mess?",7.100652353426916,9.70865120809249,6.758765483071842,68.61504335260119,65.82080924855491,9.798348472336912,35.47853014037985,10.125756701596842,4.270594054500414,821,40,120,21,14,257,102,173,0.233,0.754,0.013,-0.989,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,3,3,10,2,5,9,0,14,7,5,1,1,26,18,11,1,2,4,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,15,0,2,1,0,0,3,4,9,0,0,6,1,14,1,31,11,2,20,0,1,1,0,6,7,0,1,10,92,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16836093349369366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526599093666888,0.0,0.2143369039684092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13096522143162753,0.3187451547556024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539755211940056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15712282572916034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065929531704422,0.0,0.14539128287129202,0.0,0.16055525499635873,0.0,0.1225936863797472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15360143332707976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419203203556895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11764030143537342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10298225495862036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14898728402733435,0.0,0.13725843741246482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32873081714629865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712075381767166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816582479358043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165236068932841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4205734567788734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464524648856139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560712970354822,0.10533023126174176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20397434919157226,0.0,0.0,0.09951590308952052,0.0,0.0,0.0902133547018574 bipolarreddit,Mr_Evolved,2019/01/25,"Nighttime lows? So I'm bipolar and have ADHD, and have been trying to get stable for about 17 years now (wow, it has been a long time, never did the math before). I'm probably the closest I've ever been to being healthy and stable because I've finally found a doctor who listens to me and wants to help, but I've also had life-long sleep issues and when it gets to be 2 or 3 in the morning I just get so depressed and my impulse control goes straight to zero (overeating, impulsive spending, etc.) Does anyone else ever deal with nighttime loss of control? If so, how have you dealt with it? I view where I'm at right now, where I'm doing well and a functional human being for ~12 hours a day, as a win, but it just feels like I'll never cross the finish line as long as I lose control at night.",6.626097560975609,4.984619048780491,7.155000000000001,80.2775,65.82926829268294,9.175609756097561,32.69512195121951,7.1686216300943375,2.0740024390243903,620,20,127,4,8,205,103,164,0.08199999999999999,0.7929999999999999,0.125,0.6283,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,6,16,8,0,0,9,0,13,3,1,4,4,26,24,20,0,2,6,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,5,9,0,3,2,0,1,1,2,4,1,1,6,3,6,4,19,15,1,27,0,4,1,0,6,10,0,2,17,82,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16831153641753002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11199703759291656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792543219367393,0.14349662630414314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537249648862746,0.0,0.11917128057443567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4712301777370942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09031994072199406,0.14438424427844165,0.12062389389536672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433459615939054,0.12255771740798148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699286736434453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561915198529564,0.0,0.2533644572295388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081292100217251,0.10005094683238376,0.0,0.15341670093662482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535563666863606,0.0,0.0,0.21950927624313926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387181120076564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13791993469163152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14617464338449426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989206646702826,0.06842080792643816,0.0,0.0,0.3718165513556245,0.0,0.15667887200232308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160286577829648,0.0,0.0,0.13142638536526524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509963781765146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196009770833772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015002019364015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166362733650596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508399549814177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260445712099154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259207610271949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090186886115228 bipolarreddit,hclyfuck,2019/01/25,Let’s Talk? Hey guys...anyone down to talk tonight on voice chat or smth else of that nature? Looking for the real human connections I’m so lacking tonight. :(,1.0380000000000005,3.5713668000000034,1.696666666666669,93.585,97.66666666666666,3.733333333333334,22.66666666666667,5.6839178017228535,0.4278666666666671,124,5,23,1,5,38,28,30,0.115,0.885,0.0,-0.5459,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,2,1,4,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,1,2,11,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26780027554374136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199446907199644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3916401883285395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3216208612362235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43593421987260456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6156766584389262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,jesusthecarpenta,2019/01/26,"How would my BP1 medicine affect an LSD trip? I take Trileptal and Abilify. Recently came into some LSD but am nervous to take it. I’ve tripped plenty of times before and it’s not like my BPD is new, but I’ve never done so on medication. Hoping to get some guidance from you guys on this. Like I said, each of my ~5 experiences thus far have been incredibly positive and helpful to me, but I’m in a good place now and I don’t want to screw anything up. ",2.2327659574468086,3.886949882978726,4.056329787234045,86.90875,76.7659574468085,7.253191489361702,25.57978723404256,8.07648339933343,1.4398127659574467,355,13,77,6,8,120,71,94,0.066,0.72,0.215,0.9567,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,3,6,1,1,2,0,7,2,0,3,1,20,15,9,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,7,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,4,1,8,4,12,10,3,15,0,0,0,1,4,7,1,3,7,47,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18580772083577274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19213251008112772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843773394953742,0.0,0.0,0.2582460958540709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23106378783527376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208680727376605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179670919240287,0.0,0.0,0.1893837632950839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22356975170482574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513437350419294,0.0,0.0,0.2242625761644513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22062130247017425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274618612211492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741448445851549,0.21807148908802929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359047648901209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22294253250270069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21478006379369127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3395352300135765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166123269685265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317807456664688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16039628243834544,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Tomanydorks,2019/01/26,"Should I contact BP ex in this situation? (Cross posted from r/bipolar sos.) My BP2 Dumped me last summer in the middle of a mixed episode. Her stated view was that it was because I had made too big a deal out of something to me when she was in a bad space. She left me on the day I had a pretty significant head injury. Because of various medical stuff she had going on at the time, we didn’t really speak much. We had been planning to marry and move together. That didn’t happen. I was completely blindsided by all this. Three months later, I left town for medical treatment. Even though she said she wasn’t going to do this, she completely ghosted me when I left. My treatment hasn’t really worked. Eight months later now, I am getting closer to being unable to do my work. It looks like I have CTE. I don’t have a whole lot of support in life, in terms of family and other people, and I’m losing my livelihood. My personality has changed. I am not planning to continue my life like this, and I consider it a matter of maintaining some personal dignity in the face of what’s going to be an unpleasant future. Yes, I’ve done everything I can and I’m continuing to try, but I live in the United States, and there’s not a real viable set of alternatives for me. I will probably end my life later this spring or in early summer, when I can wrap up what I need to do to not leave a mess other people have to deal with. This question is not about that decision. I have my dignity, and the prognosis isn’t good. And I don’t know, because I can’t tell, whether she has ever come out of this phase, or if she’s still in it. Should I send her a letter and and tell her goodbye? It’s the only unresolved relationship in my life. It would be especially helpful to hear from people with BP. Would you want to hear from me, or would it be better just to find out from other people? She was having a hard time with all relationships at the time, and I don’t believe at least then she hated me. I think she still loved me. I don’t want to do it in such a way that would feel weird and manipulative, I want to give her something tangible that, if she feels anything at all at this point or some point in the future, will let her feel some kind of closure or at least that she wasn’t abandoned. She doesn’t know how bad it’s been or that it’s degenerating. How do I say it?",3.8700451722190863,4.62583161904762,5.338471673254283,82.85735177865615,71.31884057971014,8.587464709203841,26.023527197440238,8.841846274778883,1.7375623188405798,1844,55,389,33,33,623,213,483,0.059,0.8370000000000001,0.103,0.9391,0,0,2,0,0,1,54.0,2,1,0,6,16,15,2,0,21,1,54,9,2,4,4,71,81,29,1,12,15,1,4,2,0,8,6,5,0,2,32,21,0,1,9,0,0,7,16,8,0,2,18,11,64,7,61,50,13,74,0,2,2,1,43,34,0,14,30,288,96,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939541719760701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408220513236604,0.15421816147631912,0.0,0.0,0.09500968006474954,0.0,0.07458197077554628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08920868889917971,0.07264179429838469,0.17683428495117262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05438509971280794,0.17387858006264878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629764082979416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746902867689832,0.0,0.0,0.05569837713797319,0.07628022759958758,0.0,0.0,0.07578928797171584,0.0,0.07949768765724156,0.0,0.12791752537279516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707499554053257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044058317506041667,0.08089586917331391,0.14377800135347585,0.07073099656569794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07457167942263906,0.0,0.07554204101948549,0.08325723144703047,0.08654567775545857,0.0,0.19008937307201074,0.0,0.05652381712793055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781546843210923,0.0926898062855993,0.06873922729130796,0.0,0.08929202318162675,0.27487046413333466,0.08623191154672373,0.2382557016200744,0.08239758422702531,0.0,0.07446387545789443,0.0,0.0708149533276131,0.09434235683307576,0.0,0.0716933302131572,0.07611003450065637,0.07979394963365732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699047885091636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13462088738207298,0.08962816884336143,0.06199137106490112,0.06252873674306476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641358524724574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338518879950093,0.14726531105657562,0.0,0.0,0.15943594713097228,0.0,0.08076367985628558,0.08579270644608196,0.090920709399922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446755565738377,0.0,0.0,0.09598463643039028,0.1080463774046049,0.0,0.0,0.18107514425620702,0.0,0.0,0.0802159999899332,0.06706164654463441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09478910454343506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12984086048894725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346901773734156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653630061852504,0.0,0.09569532300473386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14741417644827196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05403449005227691,0.08285261793126636,0.0,0.14751840446648865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0572537197757414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14921793353724566,0.06693627633175737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415009374944547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227847416386178,0.0,0.0,0.2396190403001001,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,blue_and_true,2019/01/27,"/r/MadStudies is a sub for scholarly discussion of mental illness including related published research & theory /r/madstudies is a sub for scholarly discussion of recent publications on the subject of mental health, mental illness, critical psychiatry and psychology. Its intended as a hub to provide a regular feed to subscribers of published articles and relevant discussion. Open to all with an interest in this type of material and related academic issues. Thanks to the mods of /r/bipolarreddit for permission to post this notice.",11.596279069767439,12.972186069767444,11.973813953488367,39.85141860465117,54.58139534883721,18.042790697674416,53.24651162790697,15.6451,10.250956279069767,446,31,48,24,5,152,55,86,0.08800000000000001,0.845,0.067,-0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,7,0,2,4,0,1,1,7,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,18,3,1,5,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,34,3,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661790089872517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611314707534973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256411478571901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7427206419655521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27969236992045843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23528012019818545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24256553820287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261762470634049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Beetzart,2019/01/27,"Relative challenging me over my meds. I was speaking to a close relative the other day and when I said I was feeling a bit grotty he preceded to say it is 'those pills' I am on that is causing my problems and that I should try and stop taking them. He is going through a hard time at present so I didn't try to defend my mental health care plan to him apart from saying how dangerous it is to come off the drugs especially cold turkey. Yet he watches a lot of Yt videos about vaccines and psyche meds and how they are bad or so they say. He has fallen for it. It is as if taking a pill for your brain is unacceptable, but if it was antibiotics he would say in the same sincere manner 'you must take the full course' etc. My brother is the same. He once said to me I shouldn't be proud to take medication. I mean if I can't convince my own family that I need lithium, aripiprazole etc to function than what chance do I have outside of this setting. ",2.6470360824742265,4.247922608247425,3.979987113402064,88.12400128865983,75.49484536082474,7.1180412371134025,25.011597938144327,7.8658589789855275,1.2576608247422685,742,25,158,11,16,244,121,194,0.096,0.848,0.056,-0.6642,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,3,3,7,8,1,0,10,0,22,6,1,3,1,28,34,16,0,9,5,1,2,0,0,4,5,7,0,0,12,7,0,1,3,1,0,3,3,3,0,0,6,11,24,5,22,23,8,19,0,0,1,0,20,8,0,5,7,113,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388442415553167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890840153134302,0.0,0.0,0.1522623247898331,0.0,0.0,0.1390641546577021,0.1401156013757253,0.0,0.11749252102971125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796372024434038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15817530909672392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30423375053296786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12858140178249386,0.0,0.06896558969068106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751662345712347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218344726799475,0.0,0.0,0.14498188419032038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595845324468693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14857452722214462,0.3030089824622144,0.13740397060515236,0.13745443727189144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10113542744509522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452566015717581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051193410363784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594864335818346,0.4338682430980497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140326241279837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4102093292803965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795332283407624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18520698558598447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09689134679112947,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,anonventing,2019/01/27,"Anyone else suffer from migraines with prodrome mood swings? If you do, is there a way to tell if it's your mood disorder or an on coming migraine *before* the migraine hits? I always seem to think my sudden mood swings are cause by my bp, and then the migraine hits and I'm like ""okay, that makes more sense.""",1.0680737704918035,3.6455189836065567,1.6985040983606583,96.46611680327871,88.67213114754101,3.7057377049180333,17.46106557377049,5.148860815047168,-0.6338704918032785,242,6,49,1,8,74,49,61,0.104,0.856,0.04,-0.6199,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,0,4,1,3,4,0,2,0,11,10,6,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,6,8,1,5,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,4,3,28,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26206173883633943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22021877364802148,0.3227011651562388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679973187175975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235380720176007,0.0,0.27129957947014105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3609573809829822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630984127349705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15386755080913925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102300534105321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28671658209076656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27527819531877035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20180578645745573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499908461168992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,auralov,2019/01/27,"Has anyone here experienced fatigue with Lamictal/Lamotrigine? I've been on lamotrigine for five years now. I cut my dose in half a little over a year ago because it was killing my immune system - my body could barely fight a cold - and I noticed a spike in my energy then. It's getting to the point where I'm really worried I've got chronic fatigue or something. I work from home and don't have any kids, so it's not like I have a super hectic lifestyle or anything. I'm wondering if the lamotrigine might be contributing. Thoughts? Experiences?",3.561057692307692,6.060946836538466,5.031384615384617,77.51361538461539,75.82692307692308,8.006153846153849,29.63076923076923,8.841846274778883,2.7976300000000007,437,20,77,10,10,146,77,104,0.208,0.75,0.042,-0.9438,0,0,1,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,4,7,3,0,7,0,9,6,1,0,0,11,15,7,1,2,4,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,1,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,4,2,8,2,8,8,0,13,0,2,0,0,2,7,0,5,6,48,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20154262570501486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15461390359802826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589767423577574,0.0,0.18709948939402465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13859771741286078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525478403726811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815299941859427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224035871425564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878722027806282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18184209900729587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280625458206321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515422803283133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110775506419838,0.2278763760606192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241195069637594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588530552513502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21493050624880647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14565386922965826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750343155282632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18049996957134512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24656430590321265,0.16552218715355466,0.2308970682991612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928272469532227 bipolarreddit,IamAshortDude,2019/01/27,"I dont know how to keep living like this I just dont know how to live, im on 5 diffrent meds and they are constently getting changed, my girlfriend and best friend of 6 years left me because i am a verbally abusive terrible person when the rage kicks in. i just dont want to live anymore, whats the point of living if all it is is suffering and insanity? ",8.654,4.9671485333333365,8.949333333333332,75.42800000000003,63.66666666666666,12.666666666666668,41.0,10.504223727775694,3.9669999999999987,280,12,62,5,3,94,55,75,0.228,0.652,0.12,-0.8411,1,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,1,1,5,6,1,0,3,0,7,0,0,2,1,13,12,7,0,2,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,7,3,7,12,2,6,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,1,3,38,10,0,0.0,0.18991214590698124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15896017821479358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09770857288452474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682097775083924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695608402628411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.563560350973777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12383620479016767,0.0,0.08374257518047842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731358802160692,0.0,0.0,0.14246914594538976,0.0,0.0,0.17617747364663605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17415070003087224,0.0,0.0,0.07830741483574873,0.0,0.5661402469948968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17804109280080888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13995514446211774,0.0,0.0,0.15152163705814845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454055991285397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321862775082304 bipolarreddit,Nomadofthefence,2019/01/27,"Concert Depression Has anyone had the experience of being at a concert and suddenly being overwhelmed by depression and super high anxiety? I recently was at a metal concert and I shutdown completely towards the end of the headliners set. I’ve been told it has to do with sensory overload? I think it’s happened before, is there anyway to combat it?",5.052380952380954,7.887354793650798,6.860555555555559,64.57750000000001,72.49206349206351,9.914285714285716,37.484126984127,10.125756701596842,5.1723460317460335,284,17,38,9,6,98,45,63,0.212,0.7140000000000001,0.07400000000000001,-0.857,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,1,5,0,9,0,0,0,0,5,12,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,3,3,1,9,6,0,8,0,3,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,34,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22267068788987385,0.0,0.0,0.2035255939843395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24768239589503965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051853792085317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.501402936985851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578050234668022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847260643671623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573956319511133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3075354888711161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874002977104734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18650836110765648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27813352406065417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,wallewaltz,2019/01/27,Birth control effecting bipolar? Everything was going right and i wasn’t manic or depressed. I quit my medicine a couple months ago and i started taking birth control a month ago. Since the first day of birth control i’m in this weird mood. I’m super depressed then i feel super manic. Is it just my bipolar coming back or is it possible for birth control to mess up with my bipolar? ,1.8101351351351345,4.594350824324327,2.923027027027029,87.28616216216219,88.05405405405406,4.581621621621622,26.318918918918918,6.2581,1.258496216216216,307,14,53,3,10,98,48,74,0.145,0.755,0.1,-0.3685,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,9,2,7,0,0,3,0,4,3,0,5,0,13,11,5,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,4,0,4,2,0,0,2,1,4,0,1,2,1,7,2,6,9,0,18,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,2,13,31,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847961851592485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352261298593535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837754900403607,0.0,0.0,0.7206878291594645,0.0,0.1777456351294788,0.0,0.1035998198184074,0.0,0.2767188191989501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443733048113917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812246531385702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13664070979446158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129568645780443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564433962652525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18109800395403705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17086092356945284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13718609176330065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13288346465043754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370215819794027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078164862522722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,chaoticgoodwave,2019/01/27,"I feel like killing myself, but I might as well see Into the Spider-Verse first. I'm in a really dark place right now. I think I've been in a funky little depressive episode for a while now. I've been cancelling my therapy appointments because I have too much anxiety to talk about my problems, but then, as a drawback, I don't get to talk about my problems. Now I actively want to die, instead of just passively. Last night I stood outside in the cold until my fingers hurt so much I cried (that wasn't the goal, the goal was fresh air, but that's what ended up happening). I'm thinking the most likely outcome is that getting out of the house for longer than 30 minutes for the first time in two weeks will improve my mood enough that I'll find some other reason to live past that. But right now all I've got figured out is I'm going to see the movie before I do any dangerous impulsive thing. Sound good?",6.173934426229508,5.619853743169402,6.2486393442622985,82.85722131147544,66.21311475409836,9.505792349726775,31.961202185792352,8.841846274778883,2.3694048087431696,717,25,148,10,10,228,115,183,0.195,0.7070000000000001,0.098,-0.9644,0,0,0,0,0,2,19.0,0,0,0,4,11,11,2,0,12,0,11,1,1,1,1,21,26,10,2,3,5,0,2,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,6,1,3,6,6,15,4,24,18,6,29,0,2,2,0,2,13,0,3,17,94,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816623446206307,0.0,0.11043104974797878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799736444679715,0.0,0.12283532799930574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15856700225165335,0.0,0.0,0.1243326034575591,0.0,0.1498175227355951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278555324974857,0.14915712775295806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299013936883658,0.103127119315636,0.0,0.0,0.13193769930962984,0.2455762891185199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15083888118146907,0.0,0.08204017648386172,0.12107798244176235,0.11545374452632046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12765249933104672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16656609224059818,0.1545348310129945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970723132396294,0.0,0.0,0.11766845314142747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14104895647860385,0.14468146292257042,0.12746795949442244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15313766230684334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122348192949658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13546722898577834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13780301921781976,0.0,0.0,0.15082007287387966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762561533149089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247740044309732,0.1484208073881046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465564719663777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300642194762361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23205388840083466,0.0,0.0,0.16508232862540378,0.0,0.09590293463969757,0.1849934923996814,0.0,0.0,0.08417446217863875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410136932236722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514421877277567,0.0,0.1157927371872569,0.0,0.12979232838768148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Wavromic76,2019/01/27,"Idk if I’m manic but I’m not doing well I don’t know if I’m manic or what’s going on. I was super stable for about 2 months. Very motivated, productive, going to sleep early and waking up early, etc. I think it slowly ramped up to the point where I was out of the house doing school work or going to the gym or eating out or working like 16 hours a day, making big plans, etc. Everything seemed really beautiful, and i think around that point I started to realize I was manic. Then, this past week or two I’ve begun drinking and smoking every night, if I’m sober I feel like buzzing out of my skin. I’ve been hungover for days and I think I’m acrually getting the flu now. The thing is, I don’t exactly feel “manic” anymore, but I don’t feel depressed either. I’m not out being productive like I was at the beginnings of the episode, I generally feel more on edge and tense? Like instead of having a bunch of positive energy, i have more intense or stressed energy? I can’t eat more than a few bites of anything with out getting nauseas, even if I smoke and get the munchies. I’m eating maybe like 500 calories a day, not including alcohol. I can’t sleep unless I smoke. The other day I worked 8 hours, went out drinking all night, slept for 4 hours and then went back and worked an 8 hour shift. I took a test still drunk from the night before and got a 92%. Im going to the gym every other day just because I like the communal energy. I don’t really know what I’m getting at here. I guess I just feel sick as fuck from drinking all week and barely eating. But despite feeling sick I still feel like going out and being social. But I don’t feel all positive and motivated like I did at the beginning? Idk what’s going on.",3.0741148775894516,4.349089895480226,4.756666666666668,84.31196798493411,73.77401129943503,7.84331450094162,24.693032015065913,8.401726058763845,1.5178274952919018,1349,41,277,23,27,457,162,354,0.101,0.7140000000000001,0.185,0.9875,0,0,6,1,0,0,38.0,0,0,0,8,13,13,1,1,20,0,20,18,5,3,4,66,63,30,0,4,21,0,9,8,0,0,4,0,0,0,9,21,9,0,17,6,0,9,10,3,1,1,11,9,28,10,37,50,11,57,0,1,0,1,1,20,1,12,36,168,37,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144252706132728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557725640444392,0.0,0.0,0.06271219121949513,0.06784073675258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058598781281889084,0.0,0.0464553194940919,0.0,0.0648468785769074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24573732030236506,0.0,0.06563731599763123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239626983016951,0.0,0.3119167532961961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16998277561213068,0.05033426440460364,0.0,0.12841603094660856,0.0,0.0684902910250898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082619817640244,0.1088851536959316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045250691891393,0.15926087017419888,0.0,0.2598625061467872,0.0,0.0609500139291353,0.0,0.0839510351822655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001957255195193,0.08793309982138911,0.0,0.0,0.08231706178775024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376318048968957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978486630236934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050869026645356384,0.0,0.07656056932522913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06082801410071933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21454642794393464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727485797473484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14408123774610915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09764081482609738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712595032209849,0.0,0.06937634851644876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15252485830881807,0.07768384022839624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05393998506393725,0.0,0.12171864511999253,0.0,0.08729531130270221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05062880572749154,0.1464918611105265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08466921775275936,0.0,0.0,0.07444354967821977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287908038022606,0.0,0.0,0.12225794794983146,0.0,0.0685195985247635,0.1412900337608056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22191955917062572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,certifiablycrazed,2019/01/28,"It’s not that I don’t want to live, it’s that I don’t want to live like this. This is where I am tonight. Sick of all the meds, their side effects, the doctors, therapist, support group, of it all. The sad part of it is that yes it will end; but only when I die. ",0.1966101694915281,1.3245222203389844,2.0120000000000005,101.65461016949152,81.03389830508475,5.397966101694917,20.274576271186444,5.6839178017228535,-0.4678027118644068,197,5,54,1,5,65,37,59,0.195,0.7140000000000001,0.09,-0.7447,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,1,2,3,0,0,3,1,6,2,0,1,2,7,9,2,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,10,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,5,8,3,5,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,4,36,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848041441823317,0.0,0.0,0.28088001444199723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430542492428436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406751962050506,0.0,0.4846349405809764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30481823148414977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087084164030332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971696061833871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114080276717573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186222221913164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32371949444725645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,CroissantCroissalt,2019/01/28,"Content with the idea of suicide. Here's why Content with the decision? Hi everyone, First time poster and visitor. And suicidal. But not in a sad, angry sort of way. Let me explain. I have a myriad of uncomfortable, growing, and lifelong genetic disorders that aren't obviously visible. I have lumps everywhere that may be cancerous, and I'm currently in the process of finding out. I also have type 2 bipolar disorder. My teeth, lips, mouth, tonsil, and throat structures are all shades of fucked, meaning I'll need multiple surgeries, braces, and apnea machines in my future. My family has a history of a few kinds of cancer, heart problems, liver problems, balding, and Alzheimer's. I'm freshly in my twenties, so thinking about how ugly this can get for me is seriously worrying and a complete drain on any vision I have of the future. But that's not really the primary reason I want to leave this world. I just feel complete, finished, done. Not in a depressive way (at least, not all the time), but in a closure / final chapter sort of way. I have felt nothing but love from family and friends, have had many successful relationships, have had a super privileged life, and have set myself up for a decent future after Uni. However, I just don't care. I'm content with the time I have spent here and would rather burn out than fade away. My medical issues will surely put myself and my family into debt. My studies feel worthless even though I am excelling - and they have always felt that way. I never thought I'd make it past 18, and have no real vision of myself past 21. Every day feels like unnecessary time to be spending. I feel like I should close my book and leave while I am content with my life up to now. Have any of you felt this way? Any suggestions or comments? ",5.074234234234236,6.75099465765766,5.834229429429432,76.95844324324327,69.3903903903904,9.051723723723725,31.63831831831832,9.490545024520769,3.1333052012012006,1403,61,244,31,25,458,191,333,0.123,0.748,0.129,0.8001,3,0,0,0,0,1,55.0,0,1,1,4,12,18,1,0,16,0,30,16,7,3,5,67,52,25,2,7,12,0,7,2,1,4,7,0,0,0,8,23,0,0,15,1,3,2,8,7,0,1,8,7,30,11,38,37,4,43,0,3,0,2,9,16,1,4,21,165,38,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558678523298185,0.07864735383201793,0.0,0.0,0.19282842001525846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888036825998375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636838809194152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19820268106124825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06095691554292326,0.0,0.0814090493623175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21665385406128249,0.0,0.0,0.09672572140888126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06242888748952195,0.0,0.07963630781781685,0.0903169252485175,0.0,0.0,0.26731221555003937,0.0,0.19116652249201466,0.13504874045086676,0.27225909792162484,0.10354091031406612,0.08638862516471532,0.08039778661068836,0.0,0.0,0.07302512086172758,0.08738126363466579,0.04938226009258551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11200543316707938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670041093249123,0.0,0.09865324667043053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09842696107657738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20016388108073374,0.0,0.09665204949547153,0.13352308590007506,0.09235438767587326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530705964547271,0.0,0.06309214565285261,0.09582739906548532,0.0,0.10295886625250747,0.0,0.09521791720694624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700846177497224,0.07289885567938915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906934997931425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18045810160501108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808837762295731,0.0,0.09501766999906698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758327937619973,0.06055127173574198,0.09718124208006056,0.0,0.10147799979806607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20677682172416947,0.0,0.0890830095461184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0605639387243023,0.09286440698677052,0.07503750338808161,0.22045908332922348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05574973672416444,0.37512378984861866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528866789340014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959886009174539,0.0,0.06714356358258934,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,jupi-sprite,2019/01/28,"Lamictal alone? Lamictal/Wellbutrin combo? Looking for advice... Hi! My first post after extensive lurking... and yes, it's a meds question. I'm on 1200 lithium and 200 Lamictal/lamotrigine. The Lamictal has been the first thing that's worked for me, lifting (some of) my current depression. My psychiatrist has acted like lithium is a necessary, be-all-end-all drug; but from reading here, I see that that's not the case. I don't think it has ever done anything for me (including a good 2 weeks in the hospital on lithium alone with zero improvement). Thyroid issues already run in my family, so I'm worried about that. And recently, it's also given me terrible acne. Maybe I'm vain, but I can't live with that. So I want to go off it. Question--Is anyone on Lamictal alone? How does it work for you? Also, I've noticed that a lot of people here seem to be on a Lamictal/Wellbutrin combo. I'm still experiencing depression (and did even prior to my dx), and I know Wellbutrin doesn't have the weight and libido problems that other antidepressants do, so I'm interested in trying that. I'm hoping it could also help with low energy from the Lamictal. Question 2--What is this combo like? And what did doctors say about its efficacy / why it should be used? My psychiatrist is a resident in a hospital clinic so she is pretty conservative; I need a good argument. PS--I'm bipolar I but welcome all responses. Thanks very much.",2.349337403889642,5.172377276119407,4.440705563093626,77.68973089099957,84.07462686567162,7.726096788783356,27.151062867480782,8.575989854853784,2.7743965174129355,1122,51,192,30,33,383,147,268,0.121,0.723,0.156,0.8931,1,3,1,0,0,0,59.0,0,1,0,4,15,14,0,0,14,1,20,7,0,2,2,32,38,18,0,6,4,0,1,2,0,1,6,1,0,0,20,10,1,1,5,1,0,3,4,6,0,3,5,5,18,8,26,29,4,23,0,3,2,0,8,10,0,6,11,129,38,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244999373627793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3575490986686332,0.12698816418337705,0.2760763950876345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08046314107489674,0.0,0.09469694992412173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187805282007001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19822792045095047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778417589656807,0.10070293982580757,0.11776171543083773,0.0,0.0,0.1334505083115175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192232616514324,0.0,0.0,0.07600597624004736,0.10409195858898652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848250289676004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957655343420944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06539979508824544,0.1930389616591596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713237121756837,0.0,0.0,0.11429547625563966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12010844056278876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06324223053022163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11243970023548304,0.0,0.10161336540873801,0.0,0.09663404818287104,0.0,0.0,0.09783268082035512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560834119442588,0.0,0.12782242362431934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845933924533423,0.08532668137602578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13101369164733745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977854093760083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021007518782096,0.11707268223555907,0.0,0.1101112686064002,0.0,0.0,0.3867311307633409,0.0,0.11510617733362938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362271568373132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151228771466167,0.0,0.0,0.09169990519122496,0.1047599912174374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189907271312747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594563269331954,0.0,0.0,0.07645074087610475,0.0737354367952754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812839598808609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938788396000316,0.0,0.09494895665820796,0.06787423795685815,0.0,0.09230625297647088,0.14013039293319227,0.0,0.0,0.10383732156910652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16755199406452104,0.11686428533380318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Coeus_Tech,2019/01/28,"Meds giving me a weird depression I'm on Latuda.... I don't ""feel"" depressed like i usually do.I still don't feel like doing anything like I'm depressed but, i actually have energy to do something. So i end up pacing a lot trying to figure what i actually feel like doing. Which is nothing. Lot times i just go to bed after dinner just because there is nothing else i want to do for the night.",1.6446250000000011,3.8043962125000017,4.240000000000002,82.47500000000002,80.625,6.5,23.75,7.6454224807358475,1.3781250000000007,307,11,59,5,8,108,49,80,0.16399999999999998,0.7290000000000001,0.107,-0.3206,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,0,3,0,9,1,0,0,0,10,17,2,0,1,3,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,3,8,4,8,17,2,9,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,2,10,38,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.3313129630225328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969397595807564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348112796471733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4386294338289041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14180859617126995,0.0,0.15035262479217296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574998239892413,0.24254614209465494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16284455169748918,0.0964757303169832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3317350515304779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886394160188582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18855963773897905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15930365353360554,0.0,0.3257691765869101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13068576266261214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13556663508638492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898555879290326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525256388455887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18696125010019893,0.0,0.10012595097218477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Wattsherfayce,2019/01/28,"My Mind Wont Stop! I have been getting very little sleep and despite taking my meds i think I am going manic. I am struggling with crazy OCD like thoughts running through my mind non stop, so fast I can't keep up and it's making me upset! I just want to catch and hold on to ONE thought for ONE minute at least but I am finding it so hard to concentrate on ANYTHING. You know how you get that ear worm of music? Well this is an ear worm of constant non stop thoughts. And the voice is not my own (I dont recognize it as such anyways) anymore. And It's getting louder. I sometimes hear my name being called out, or laughter. It's weird. I never heard the laughter before. I wonder whats so funny?",0.5659191176470593,2.8781913680555564,1.97186274509804,96.01235294117649,86.70833333333331,3.9437908496732033,21.66503267973856,5.0885558068054335,-0.11281486928104598,543,19,116,2,17,174,98,144,0.095,0.759,0.145,0.8885,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,0,8,5,0,2,3,0,11,3,3,2,1,30,27,12,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,5,0,0,8,7,0,5,7,0,0,3,5,3,1,2,5,6,19,2,14,20,2,15,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,2,7,76,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15449560757841074,0.0,0.0,0.1281967425911968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13256048687040786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590726139803266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16834687739670262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18257738050835756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423835141071537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24417171982293415,0.0,0.08853548824078004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13955163004225807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17557959454039315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13846774400484305,0.0,0.0,0.08561466820918986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610806535833227,0.15613623115206066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398685467543103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17304061378829838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31459433249314395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12015002236962467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21112618492337604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15589624297241808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15407410008388894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3907265410547477,0.0,0.1628589870453095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712998331529274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981992892345047,0.0,0.3710246598502302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285378986943953,0.09188528478373464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006828917501776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16894081837649705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,mercurysong,2019/01/28,Emotional support animals My cat is pretty much the only being keeping me from completely falling apart. My newest round of Med Roulette has me feeling odd and I'm too anxious to call my psychiatrist. My cat is on my chest purring loudly. She's trying her damndest to stop the panic and she usually can. Hopefully this will pass. ,3.4658313817330217,6.443940360655741,4.831522248243561,75.94409836065577,79.81967213114754,8.075878220140515,31.665105386416855,8.841846274778883,3.527766276346603,266,14,42,7,7,88,50,61,0.162,0.677,0.162,0.0018,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,0,6,1,1,0,0,6,11,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,10,2,5,9,1,7,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,1,3,28,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29033291682499635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624221811934368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26945596200563743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28908649458855706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994516256175234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552555324579241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284303155487176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.285465198371559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18892201284330867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954574344199088,0.0,0.3015300436170231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614578530953928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148605985407288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29163660572722866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17448376761139253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28304535895178545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,pigeonfaced,2019/01/28,"I Hate Myself for Being Psychotic I had a psychotic break six months ago and was diagnosed Bipolar I... I spent 40 consecutive days in a mental hospital and have been depressed ever since. I used to have a ton of hobbies and interests, now all I do is work and sleep. I still feel so much guilt and shame over what I did when I was psychotic. I became convinced my mother is evil (who's perfectly normal) and sent crazy emails/messages to SO MANY people. I ruined a couple relationships I care about. I said so many disgusting things. How do you forgive yourself for being psychotic? Rationally I guess it wasn't my fault but it really feels like I thought my way to this point. I'm not getting any less depressed (taking Lithium and Seroquel daily...), in fact I feel like each new day I hate myself more. Any advice?",3.213846153846152,5.627496282051287,4.426256410256411,81.85207692307692,76.56410256410257,7.493333333333334,25.784615384615392,8.447377352677275,2.0192646153846154,644,24,117,13,15,211,105,156,0.171,0.713,0.116,-0.8685,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,2,9,17,4,2,4,0,14,3,1,2,4,23,29,13,0,1,2,1,3,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,6,8,0,0,5,0,1,1,2,10,0,1,10,4,23,7,10,17,6,16,0,3,0,0,7,4,0,1,11,81,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15275599261226822,0.1385699697402283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21260856226370234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593806382763255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17296725563635726,0.0,0.20162944091828364,0.0,0.2692797193298712,0.15866348067456687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14140214622427302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371232126149153,0.2233528533333728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167176279398562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17220624310832902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3086711087727483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15274200956185505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3169718271690043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575357503177678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477468278125715,0.0,0.11491461407241148,0.0,0.0,0.15097670577824066,0.0,0.0,0.1531623129613295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10837395188000007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14777476299599487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014383895763004,0.0,0.0,0.16783126395545747,0.0,0.0,0.1486979642961126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931112588668647,0.0,0.15643483593124502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483890488570035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11753464594909525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385335223638263,0.0,0.0,0.1241021606924072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13501196721761366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408108144688695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380423562991104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Odramabama,2019/01/28,"Anyone ever done a liver cleanse? It honestly sounds like bullshit but I’ve hit a wall recently so I’m willing to expand my options a little. I was telling my pdoc about how I’m struggling recovering from the holidays. When I was out of town with my family for about a week, I had one beer the entire time. My four hour drive home ended up being six hours due to three separate accidents. It was taking me multiple days to recuperate, it felt like I had been on a drinking binge. When I told her all this, she said sometimes stress and changes in the environment can affect the way your liver functions just as much as it can affect your brain. The stress of family then being hit with an especially stressful trip from sea level to 7,000 ft could have really messed things up. So I’m giving this a try. She ordered some “liver sauce” for me. It’s this gnarly tasting oil I take as soon as I wake up then thirty mins later I have to take a charcoal binder. If it were some random person telling me to ditch my meds and do a liver cleanse instead, I’d tell them to fuck off. But I’ve been with this pdoc for almost a decade now so I’m trusting her judgement. I’m still on all my meds and she told me to try and be more mindful about what I’m putting in my body. So I’m trying to avoid the temptation of fast food even tho I don’t feel like I have the energy to make healthy meals. I’ve only been on it for a week so I’m not expecting immediate results. Has anyone else tried out “alternative” methods like this? Specifically stuff that has been recommended by a doctor? ",2.8643451337773094,4.679191835962147,4.176270592358922,86.03234373174439,75.43533123028391,7.219955602289988,24.359037270709194,8.045849151850463,1.3253389180979085,1240,40,254,20,27,408,177,317,0.098,0.792,0.11,0.2134,0,1,3,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,1,0,19,13,1,5,19,0,25,14,7,5,3,33,46,22,0,3,5,0,2,4,0,1,1,2,1,1,16,9,5,1,2,3,0,3,2,7,0,4,15,6,29,6,41,24,6,40,0,0,0,1,16,15,1,6,24,166,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705730879100712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14951124900783455,0.10954437139838788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187555565938677,0.0,0.11934957823204295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309912585442244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536083882650046,0.0,0.0,0.06894964283104421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942935495932583,0.0,0.1094084876886738,0.0,0.10473343403421012,0.0,0.0,0.08931157786496374,0.0,0.0946926386614097,0.0,0.0,0.07061462110416286,0.09670837188561207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015749607449865,0.0,0.05405811354495039,0.0763782282611794,0.10265265443087017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12927887871943744,0.0,0.0,0.09883877594648036,0.0,0.10256010038524008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072418379312871,0.0,0.2105743241249326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089279612465732,0.10715429533564004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07136484629287376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375111131877354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10795103021943278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859290349935771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07244659809398701,0.08131168544311865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335176962415524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747647499421872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684908106317332,0.0,0.10556308087527977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10169815956664316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573908119943824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538036770906116,0.0,0.3674033228493828,0.11176803658672116,0.12238910074683675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411544213450772,0.0,0.28033840706410923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07102783711439517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062341470688858,0.0,0.0,0.20431872846644894,0.0,0.2903459624148765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486207380121509,0.17151733066074584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Grimm-Bones,2019/01/28,"is there any correlation between bipolar 1 and how we perceive fear? I cant play scary games or watch scary movies. I want too, and I try too but everytime I do i just get paralyzed by fear and can't move forward or continue watching. It seems so easy for others to enjoy but even though I know it's fake it always seems too real for me. Could there be any connection or am I just a wuss?",1.3676851851851843,3.417175197530866,3.072330246913584,91.06923611111117,80.9753086419753,6.519135802469138,22.47067901234568,7.6454224807358475,0.9087641975308648,305,10,67,5,8,101,58,81,0.139,0.693,0.168,0.3574,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,0,0,11,5,0,2,1,0,7,1,0,1,0,19,12,11,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,2,0,2,2,3,0,0,0,2,9,2,5,10,0,3,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,5,2,45,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20318693996185025,0.0,0.0,0.3321172694020397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19496709086508146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16128622256397582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5495667893031957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758001163070026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13420129538925893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595369834970747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779434559769217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44460565063811697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399169681832591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16579004030029726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403050906018147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Fallenheart1187,2019/01/28,"Any discord’s for depression/bipolar sufferers? Just wondering if there’s a place where you can talk in real time (chat room) with people who are going through the same things someone like me is going through. (Can’t got outta bed, haven’t showered p, general feelings of worthlessness. ",6.370882352941178,8.626182509803925,5.809950980392159,76.11727941176474,67.0392156862745,9.02156862745098,36.27941176470589,9.516144504307137,3.897388235294118,232,12,36,5,4,71,47,51,0.07,0.879,0.051,-0.2263,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,8,10,1,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,1,1,2,1,6,9,1,7,0,2,0,0,4,4,0,2,2,22,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257077910474183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16782189125885189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3772602079072073,0.0,0.2654559359232561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621527431034969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23010216545817924,0.0,0.34677163365301017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3777822429865555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28122328727585066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667738598813102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22050392022377424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19353734025814368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3599384243039302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,etd1949,2019/01/28,Ambien Can it make depression worse? My doc prescribed 10mg since I was having difficulty sleeping but I’ve noticed that I’ve been more depressed the days after I take it. But hell im coming off a depressive episode so who knows. I’m just grasping at straws right now and don’t want to take anything that could be exacerbating it. ,4.489692307692309,6.166329353846152,5.273846153846153,80.40615384615388,70.84615384615384,8.276923076923078,29.92307692307693,8.841846274778883,2.416292307692306,268,11,51,5,5,87,54,65,0.292,0.688,0.02,-0.9654,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,2,0,7,1,1,1,0,10,14,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,0,3,0,4,10,1,7,1,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,3,29,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917262437459064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20069536177199251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860190213517416,0.0,0.0,0.15025561203835222,0.0,0.6020071600628517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516630458267073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12804208916324852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15551884270139713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652541924418417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19896733620941887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19272703703371336,0.0,0.2331525784123423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35035042665122856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742018830608002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374309264086892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,nicolanicola10,2019/01/28,"Hallucinating spiders? It’s right In front of my face and then it’s gone when I get up and turn around again. Happened a couple times now that I think about it. This is a long with hearing whispers in my walls but I’ve asked about that before and now got given abilify. Should I be worried ? Is this meaning my hallucinations are getting worse ? I’m not overly stressed, not sleep deprived. Idk. 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Maybe I just need to rant. I've been sober for a year and 3 months. I take my meds everyday without fail. I eat pretty good and try to get outside as much as I can even though I'm a shut in, agoraphobic. I go to therapy. My problems are dealt with, my stressors are at a minimum. Why the fuck am I depressed? Why the fuck can't I sleep? Seriously, it's almost 8am and now my schedule is completely out the window. I'm not even hypomanic, I don't have any energy. I've been laying here watching YouTube, eating left over pizza, just kind of doing nothing. I'm so pissed. The worst part is, there's a cycle! An actual, honest to god cycle. Not just a bipolar cycle where triggers set things off. No no no. This is a biological cycle. You see, I have PCOS. And every time I've gotten my period since I was 9 years old, it's made me depressed, moody, bitchy, argumentative, etc. A lot of the time, I start to think this is all from my hormones and I don't even have bipolar. I'd be even more convinced if my lithium didn't work great within 2 days of my first time taking it, and it didn't run rampant in my family. Alas, I have the family curse. But seriously, having PCOS is a fucking curse, too. I use the app Clue to track my cycle and I just checked it tonight to see where I'm at and realized why I was being such a cunt to my fiance all weekend and never wanted to leave the apartment. Why I keep falling asleep later and later in the morning everyday and can't get out of bed until the late afternoon. I'm fucking 25 years old! This is so stupid. I haven't been able to have a job in years because of this and I've never gotten any kind of relief from any doctor. Those fake sun lamps don't help. Melatonin doesn't do shit. Sleeping pills make me hallucinate. I've been checked for any type of vitamin deficiencies. I try to fix my schedule at least once a month, where I won't sleep for like 30 hours. It's ridiculous, it's the same shit all year every year. I'm so sorry if this isn't really a bipolar post, I think it is because I feel like my cycle effects my bipolar so much that this happens every month. But I could be wrong, maybe it's just all the hormones and my bipolar is completely fine. I wish I had an answer. I wish I could find a solution.",1.8589280733213758,3.5689619539748967,3.783717872086076,88.20592747559273,77.9958158995816,6.560749153217772,23.305638573421007,7.447530270364453,0.9122885435345688,1786,57,385,24,42,605,223,478,0.189,0.732,0.078,-0.9946,1,0,0,0,0,0,62.0,0,1,0,4,23,30,10,0,27,0,44,22,7,6,6,59,78,26,0,9,12,0,1,2,0,1,8,0,2,0,19,16,3,1,9,1,2,3,20,20,0,1,12,4,46,10,41,60,13,56,0,3,3,4,3,18,8,4,35,238,65,6,0.07584374009940886,0.0,0.07401254974598398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594655010399905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063053762410633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246728001691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590414370133795,0.0,0.0,0.12111011001615556,0.0,0.0,0.04891293796804844,0.0,0.13064820442539965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776292817661866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15521416106433664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845858185981125,0.2003763001452435,0.0,0.1917048664423196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14299745649142187,0.0,0.03834887384367083,0.05418278308131352,0.0,0.0,0.06931980442565662,0.0645126465837646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804652623686298,0.07925044773401717,0.0,0.04310374531817053,0.06361413081350782,0.0,0.08361799121152183,0.0,0.0,0.06706836889210907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050836460271206786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469080643989298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526320916758211,0.06741340100971249,0.0,0.1579591683287218,0.04168173607347666,0.0,0.08555504235292337,0.08030756979371463,0.08240444553379625,0.0,0.0,0.07410684079456381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447963563470528,0.0,0.0717651807069777,0.05062628545264911,0.0,0.15239046204278822,0.0,0.08424529750314512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18161324926758135,0.0,0.11150775133129673,0.056237172271170366,0.11699073596585985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07277411414236487,0.0,0.1591704938880024,0.08077110793396741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213137960914166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726373378690613,0.07716034999784935,0.0,0.07257221635429857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048587441997639466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208752826741918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15570501861642375,0.06273872555781561,0.0,0.2276955406243842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490085762282991,0.05368258960794956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405010736967862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08673392665116551,0.0,0.050387210841603206,0.09719521243939967,0.07451608956796768,0.0,0.13267528431349995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10298584202729147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06550464007025368,0.0,0.0,0.044734602954178866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737487148023308,0.0,0.1744331162232216,0.07311065896565316,0.0,0.05521514608695461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292322364891809,0.0,0.2930452919359403 bipolarreddit,xota_pe,2019/01/29,"I'm in love for the first time since diagnosis and it does not feel good. Yesterday I've put my best friend on a hold. Totally my fault. She were there for me the whole time, but things worked out in a way that I developed a crush on her. I really thought ""wtf, mania. Again?"". But I had my lithium tests, talked to my psychiatrist and sadly I wasn't manic at all. I was really suffering, because she has her problems too and when I try to talk with her about it she doesn't respond well. I tried do keep my distance, try to get over it, but she likes me a lot and we became even closer. Relationships are a huge problem for me, and my friend is in a different phase of life. She broke with her first boyfriend recently (they were together from age 13 till 18, church boyfriend, holding hands only, she was unhappy) and now she is dating a lot of guys no strings attached, a lot like what I do, but it hurts for me to see it. I started avoiding being at the same places she goes to and the others close to me are telling me she is not really all that. So I decided to put our friendship on a hold too, since I'm unhappy with this ""let's speed date everyone we can and maybe we'll get together at the end"". I can't keep having sex and making out with strangers to compensate her actions, you know? It became toxic. Yesterday we've had a huge fight about it, because I told her I didn't like to be exposed this way. Edit 1: She thought I called her a whore idk but things went ugly and she told me that I was the one she liked. It doesn't matter, because it was turning my first time being ok with my disorder in making me feel like a mess. Sorry if the text is unclear, writing in english is uncomfortable for me and sometimes I just can't organize my ideas. ",3.152883524192717,4.363262175487463,4.3209037449706,87.7660002063345,73.48467966573816,7.881192613226041,26.388218301867326,8.401726058763845,1.580591994222635,1367,47,297,23,27,448,179,359,0.184,0.711,0.104,-0.9831,1,1,0,0,1,0,44.0,4,1,1,5,12,23,1,1,19,1,31,5,1,2,3,57,51,20,0,3,9,0,3,5,2,1,1,0,0,1,18,21,0,6,7,0,0,4,9,11,1,4,15,4,59,12,39,31,9,44,1,4,1,3,39,19,0,5,24,208,77,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877179749436135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772169342434526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048140633705893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072442674418581,0.11764235463616197,0.0,0.08982708120994062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091477453765548,0.0,0.0,0.06779737525007057,0.0,0.0,0.09808360710470837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380281454492904,0.07333103713351878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26193445665845605,0.0,0.0,0.1586096347648438,0.0,0.10725764154472656,0.0,0.0,0.08609543333905789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016366678939694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988573623153433,0.11587596848559885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824747394507656,0.0,0.0,0.05641210661339746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496351179464301,0.07250261155810415,0.25074069589589365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618004254961412,0.0926429248836924,0.0,0.13703533880453947,0.0,0.10312270794657452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955626355799467,0.07806766876325888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072442674418581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19643863196736386,0.0,0.20637717208705134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197274889405619,0.0,0.10135152882995473,0.11020446316764496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179636905143314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698213178413311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152050743289168,0.11490491239004845,0.07265407474651568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16500754040473786,0.08971800213394238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363882111310134,0.0,0.0,0.16298050404579356,0.17956287306417126,0.0,0.0,0.1961672142094168,0.0,0.20907172471917249,0.11165045990348334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16295282115904428,0.0,0.0,0.09229198018721207,0.09515479714749106,0.0,0.11460170948874356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472823834018855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,JonasMMA,2019/01/29,"A story going from manic to depressive Bipolar II explained My eyes open. WHAT A GOOD DAY TO BE ALIVE. Why was I so down yesterday? Maybe I should go to the gym. No, no: maybe I should get some work done. Yes work, I’ve been neglecting work. Actually maybe I should pay rent, I’m a couple of days overdue. I put on my favourite song. What a great fucking song, my auditory cortex shoots out musical notes like buckets of cum for my vagina of a cerebral cortex to process and enjoy. First I need to make breakfast. What’s the most optimal amount of nutrients I can make in a meal for my body weight? I research this for a couple of hours; I want to know anything and everything about how nutrients work from the macro to the micro level. I order an organic chemistry book. I order a vegetable juicer. I order 5 different multivitamins and 2 fish oils. I go for a run, planning my ultimate breakfast. I am so excited. I get a few hours of work done, life is so fucking great. Hell, maybe I’ll even find a girlfriend soon. Maybe I can share this with my friends. I haven’t spoken to them in a while, but I think it would be really great to catch up. So I plan 3 coffee dates for tomorrow. Perfect, that will scratch my social itch. I also want to get REALLY fucking high. Or maybe I’m just craving affection. Peaking on MDMA and having my first kiss felt identical. So does the mdma comedown and breaking up. I don’t deal with relationships very well. I’m either careless or obsessive. Very rarely do I find a good fit, in fact I haven’t yet. But I’ve learned from my mistakes. My thoughts start racing. Maybe I’ll never find someone to give this boundless love to. Maybe I’m not attractive enough. Maybe I’m too weird. Who spends 4 hours planning their breakfast? Sometimes I say things I don’t mean. Sometimes I just want people to like me. Sometimes I won’t shut up. Sometimes friends say they like me or click well with me but it doesn’t feel genuine. Are all my relationships fake? I’m definitely overthinking this. This can’t be true. My dad comes into my room and asks how applying to work is going, I tell him to fuck off. I can’t believe I just said that. I’m just mentally fucked up and waiting for my meds to work, this must be the case. My friends like me, right? I need to slow down my thoughts, this is driving me mad. I order some ket, haven’t eaten all day and decide to order pizza. I binge and fall asleep. I wake up. The greyness of the bleak sky reflects through my cold window. I gather all my strength to go take a shower. I made it to the bathroom and undress. I’ve put on weight. My brutal acne medicine isn’t working as promised, in fact it’s made it worse. I’ve ignored calls from my landlord for days now, there’s no way I can call him and sort it out. I dropped out of school, I’m a fucking failure. I put on my favourite song. My auditory cortex hits me cerebral cortex with notes like harpoons to Moby Dick. What trash, how can anybody enjoy music? Oh fuck, I have to meet up with my friends today. I try and get myself together and make a lazy breakfast. One friend calls me and says he can’t make it. I’m somewhat upset but also relieved. I meet up with my other friend. We have a seemingly normal conversation but I am fucking shattered. I can’t tell if he can tell or not. I leave the conversation feeling defeated, I’ve had so much to say and nothing but small talk left my mouth. He must think I’m boring, I despise being boring. I return home to find my books, vitamins and juicer waiting for me in a parcel at my doorstep. I’m never gonna use this shit, what’s the point? Ah but yes, my ket arrived, I’ll get a couple of hours of peace completely zombified. My dad calls me when I’m all fucked up. He can tell I’m fucked up and he’s worried I’m going to overdose. I try to pretend to be sober and he tries to pretend to believe that I’m sober as to not upset me more, it’s the saddest thing in the world. He drives me to the emergency unit and I get my vitals checked, all is seemingly fine. My parents have been nothing but supportive and I’m still like this. My phone dies and I can’t get it to work, my last friend completely ghosted and in my mind gone forever. Maybe some day I’ll get better, I’m just waiting for the meds to work. I fall asleep. I wake up, WHAT A GOOD DAY TO BE ALIVE. ",1.3514363517536871,3.63811773947668,2.8102709800789114,91.56960877931887,82.64050056882822,5.651688330549708,23.571769176772445,6.947713065588193,0.8124796698375816,3379,125,711,42,94,1099,358,879,0.147,0.6920000000000001,0.161,0.8643,4,0,0,1,0,0,115.0,1,0,3,19,27,65,15,3,36,3,51,36,11,11,13,123,131,50,2,14,22,3,6,6,8,9,4,8,6,0,31,35,10,5,19,8,4,17,21,28,3,3,14,19,105,37,96,100,16,94,1,3,3,14,54,41,13,13,34,407,136,16,0.0,0.0,0.04107718975763301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732432301962013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03463936880753945,0.0,0.03935174586880626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09484993335158376,0.0,0.037228285330869984,0.0,0.046756395822084414,0.0,0.0,0.17192870369304594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03625982817248532,0.08826848027728862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13972699114686998,0.0,0.16288097421958206,0.04339655632713064,0.036255075004812766,0.0,0.043686413480984766,0.04397875458419346,0.0,0.0,0.036836310730437215,0.08615254230438996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04349384396210968,0.0,0.02780236369456119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0378309289536717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04256748276540689,0.0,0.040416366866704224,0.0,0.15389080744427205,0.07160942933552175,0.0,0.0,0.2276493680212479,0.3891476797610822,0.17593695615785715,0.0403799265205298,0.14353625690042526,0.10591810706407152,0.0,0.13922471677855475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04447410014265119,0.04222321857453203,0.0,0.16581449712579865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023133490036406745,0.034311825504393746,0.0,0.04457094499125496,0.04573471739159959,0.0,0.029731888113792564,0.12338856472738292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03799103257086118,0.07965978623919262,0.11239096836414043,0.0,0.4228858449052856,0.045852168126691926,0.0935127916441688,0.0,0.04242035351138719,0.0,0.042502441511879804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030943570222907845,0.062423602611823566,0.06493021356037702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041242698545160175,0.0807797084772579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028523649028317024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046739856940171014,0.0,0.0,0.029182336967338914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039791968957566495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12694679938837167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05393235557009901,0.0,0.0,0.09038534469658684,0.0,0.03594762409649992,0.04004056348569215,0.13389778180225698,0.0,0.042600875298527685,0.0,0.07664069381248476,0.0,0.0,0.043208378970011584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042909028368010034,0.03566569100297404,0.0,0.16652621489813318,0.0,0.029794000173957468,0.0,0.033615928235615045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047767211735012034,0.0,0.0,0.03164907788193661,0.03383316561855207,0.14716631822850315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05593010991249378,0.05394363791828848,0.0,0.06683508368709801,0.0,0.0,0.039899721787468784,0.0,0.0,0.08573618237360245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036355274063737626,0.0,0.06946310161436273,0.07448352126448199,0.03341186574117276,0.0,0.10251710041025984,0.07569423417327456,0.0,0.03798284190463815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064457367153916,0.0427479985717679,0.04289687872405285,0.029902018913685713,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,LIKES_ROCKY_IV,2019/01/29,"My meds are finally balanced but I can’t stop vomiting! In November last year, I was hospitalised after I stopped taking my Zoloft. Now I am back on it but am taking Zoloft in the morning and Lamictal and Latuda at night with dinner. I never had an issue when I was taking all three at night but now I cannot stop throwing up after taking my nightly meds, but I don’t want to change them because I’m finally stable! Grr. Has anybody else experienced this?",3.139666666666667,5.2192829111111125,4.793055555555559,80.73625000000003,75.44444444444444,7.611111111111112,26.805555555555557,8.472884824447931,2.1305555555555564,362,14,66,7,8,122,61,90,0.099,0.851,0.05,-0.6467,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,4,1,1,0,2,0,10,4,0,0,2,13,16,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,1,3,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,3,1,12,0,10,13,1,24,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,17,49,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330568685914504,0.0,0.0977529728975853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16963789085625347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13395883994327154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3513295083433009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673724740494395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13071347287666868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3562439938567647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236782593804842,0.0,0.0,0.4514563969093879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4022003287085984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4822781443397517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945835203406953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326553160260324 bipolarreddit,fookinwhale,2019/01/29,"Does anyone feel like they get way too overly attached to their partner/someone they’re seeing? I handle break ups and unexpected rejection really badly. When I broke up with my ex last year I didn’t really care, and then 3 months after i was crying for like 2 months about it. I stayed over for one night with someone who’d had a crush on me for 3 years, the next morning she says she doesn’t feel the same way anymore and we should probably never meet again. This past weekend I had a girl I’d been video chatting for a while take a 4 hour train ride and stay over for the weekend. It was amazing having her there but it was constantly on my mind that soon she wouldn’t be there anymore. I feel like my feelings come way too fast and abnormally and it’s really making me depressed. Was diagnosed with bp2 a couple of weeks ago and waiting to start meds.",3.833698568872983,5.2430558313953535,4.457209302325584,86.67204830053673,72.0813953488372,7.385330948121648,24.85867620751341,7.882392219407189,1.2342194991055455,681,20,138,9,13,217,112,172,0.09,0.84,0.07,-0.5069,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,2,0,8,9,0,0,8,0,14,1,0,1,1,24,26,11,0,2,1,1,4,3,0,2,1,1,0,1,7,12,0,1,4,4,0,2,4,4,0,1,8,6,19,5,20,14,1,38,0,3,1,0,13,7,0,0,26,87,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865255751603347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654923036821011,0.0935930898008842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11176161614810824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364719959560892,0.0,0.0,0.11530245802238015,0.0,0.1446474789746206,0.0,0.0,0.14810573521995438,0.14703117235170446,0.0,0.0,0.11528734344672828,0.1358579193004455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171356122122646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707202787243823,0.19124913807940724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993263800602499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181818597845155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910801344871417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19618135995079727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934787866517298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14868044440002534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351533149842913,0.0,0.21368028372961315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323564121451824,0.0,0.14235412313425164,0.125611919316007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070221814311497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777777962305667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443161114094706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572488678623208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644523253187796,0.0,0.0,0.10666346536616236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22682632803153335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474180180984168,0.2853388545236914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064075473744616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187387068199876,0.10736875678229367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723938131689949 bipolarreddit,BeastOfWeaverHigh,2019/01/29,"Tegretol I got prescribed tegretol today for bipolar 2. Just wondering what I should expect to feel. I guess I thought that this feeling was just happiness but apparently it's mania? Kind of a shock to me actually but it makes sense. What does it feel like to be on a med like this? I've been taking zoloft for about 5 months and that's what triggered this mania. Waiting on my insurance to get tegretol( 200mg 2x daily). Thanks.",2.0707228915662625,4.791441674698799,3.1433855421686765,87.3092951807229,84.06024096385542,5.729638554216868,25.16746987951808,7.1686216300943375,1.344687710843373,341,14,64,5,10,109,58,83,0.041,0.7879999999999999,0.171,0.8727,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,2,0,16,16,3,0,2,4,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,11,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,3,6,5,10,10,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,4,38,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.24198950022966334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217006092105088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3761534299649174,0.17715461288523948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12955759736660394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19832963000849144,0.0,0.2731743058481821,0.0,0.0,0.2639758214559287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582295862779324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422977917802217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16552638109641124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754462251260517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979326460002684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864476266406802,0.0,0.0,0.2283036400540748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19686581037646586,0.0,0.0,0.2350529281974072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26892016661731705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,bipolarer,2019/01/29,"Dealing with the trauma of group therapy. Advice please I'm at a residential program and given that I am elevated, I am quite elevated and sitting still for that long is tough and it's amplified when people are sharing their traumatic experiences. Please share any advice that you have for this issue?",5.4266666666666685,8.245620925925927,6.5405185185185175,67.40633333333335,71.22222222222223,9.505185185185187,31.170370370370367,9.888512548439397,3.840574814814815,246,11,37,7,5,82,43,54,0.134,0.705,0.161,0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,1,1,2,4,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,4,7,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,2,5,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,3,26,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4803839734991013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16715178271174055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534080274031271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404386359005189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25655034745332705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21752442427896013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17040611218460855,0.0,0.0,0.5396270893485828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26143754552665016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19629543872785754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810926351117749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,MaskBehindTheMan,2019/01/30,"Job interview tomorrow Been un/under-employed for a couple months now, after an incredibly high-stress and high-reward contract ended (side note: it was an entire year, and I managed to do it without taking a mental health day the entire time!). It opened a lot of doors for me, including for the job that I'm interviewing for in the morning... But it's not a job that I necessarily *want*. It'll look good at a resume and will get me a step further in the direction I want to go, but I'm worried it'll come around and bite me in the ass later, too. I'm worried my mental health will flare up, and shit'll go sideways (like it usually does) and I'll end up burning everything down and making it a flaming road block instead of a bridge to where I want to be. And if I get an offer, they will want me to commit to 2-4 years there... and I've only managed to hold down a job for 2 years once before, and it was a shit-show towards the end. I've been in a depressive episode for the last few weeks, and I'm worried that the interview won't go well. And if it does go well, I'm worried about the job. Sigh. I just need to get a good night's sleep and go into it with as good a frame of mind as I can. None of it matters right now and I don't need to make a decision until I have an offer anyway, I just can't help but stress about it. Thanks for reading, and supportive words are welcome. Please and thank you. ",4.104654654654652,4.012394810810815,5.413873873873875,85.53713213213216,70.48648648648648,8.334534534534534,27.93093093093093,7.984000788550335,1.529646246246246,1088,34,243,13,18,366,147,296,0.107,0.764,0.128,0.631,6,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,1,1,0,14,13,0,1,27,0,17,4,2,2,1,46,44,24,0,8,9,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,1,0,16,21,0,2,1,1,0,7,6,2,3,0,4,1,17,10,40,33,3,44,0,1,1,1,9,18,1,3,20,151,33,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750802457372495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408754236557065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07500044845200816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633789903815322,0.0,0.05615096525304961,0.0,0.0749906169187391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238570965963558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23134636431223446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825014016570726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13646662790655625,0.0,0.2474107062652753,0.21908282331633253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850961446123268,0.0,0.0,0.05835912608932293,0.18398197803537644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4320024535801282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097116643231452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042536502767294884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731142905812985,0.0,0.0,0.07402118806314044,0.0,0.0,0.1162357001413257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17548596875376146,0.0,0.08791277660039011,0.0,0.06949599071844015,0.0,0.0,0.1291180467708161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170641321271219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272343603676356,0.0,0.06621832161149005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09557334048780627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870904888652406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07435468020412611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17874589941351432,0.0,0.0,0.0871298060118296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19946974214909294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988025173309136,0.0,0.0,0.0654634937304801,0.0,0.0,0.1603190577279765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05076942549291901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589191971814748,0.0,0.20541731823428144,0.0,0.06983983729855607,0.0,0.1565672479533373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08392941094418878,0.0,0.0,0.3536827640833956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16820473977471534 bipolarreddit,caveghoul,2019/01/30,"Lithium and watery eyes? Ever since starting lithium 4 months ago I've had a sudden, extreme uptick in how much my eyes water. I can't seem to find any consistent factor that could explain it, other than the drug, but I also can't find anything about lithium and watery eyes online. Is this a thing? And if so, any remedies out there?",4.199846153846156,5.804492369230772,4.729230769230772,84.31076923076925,71.46153846153847,5.815384615384616,26.84615384615385,5.6839178017228535,1.0276769230769234,264,9,47,1,5,84,51,65,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,0,5,5,3,1,1,13,8,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,1,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,5,6,1,7,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,2,5,32,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392536484967687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158421651820987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3670880084523528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22210802956850156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154964155530664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130030003050385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441436586357961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4933748100328174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21543483159739865,0.0,0.198410526710542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457105033009261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223267412972762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910394703889914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17931225270348866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,dootdootoops,2019/01/30,"I think the best thing I’ve realized is that I may not be able to walk my entire life I don’t know where to share this, so I thought I’d share it here since it’s such a great community and it’s good to think about things you’re grateful for. I’m thankful I’m able bodied. I’m thankful for my medication. I may have 20 more years before I could possibly get MS. I might never get it, but I’m more likely than the average person. But I’m still able bodied now. I can enjoy walking places. I can enjoy climbing and going up stairs upon stairs. I can enjoy the sand and water on my feet. I can enjoy having to stand all day. I might not be able to for my entire life, but knowing that allows me to enjoy my legs, my brain, and my life right now. A lot of people don’t get that until they suddenly don’t have a limb, or they’re old and their body becomes increasingly more frail. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the little things. Even the fact you’re under a ton of blankets cold or have to wait for your car to heat up. I hope we all have a lot more time to enjoy what we have. Sometimes we/I take the time we/I have for granted. 20 years sounds like a lot, but that’s only double my age. I hope you all are having a good day. Stay toasty.",-0.1517082111436956,1.9725754469697,2.034320625610949,95.64567448680351,88.0909090909091,4.467057673509287,15.334310850439882,5.843745405466311,-0.7539441348973609,954,18,218,7,31,320,129,264,0.0,0.746,0.254,0.9968,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,2,2,2,2,9,20,0,0,14,0,24,11,6,1,5,38,44,13,0,3,8,0,1,2,0,4,4,1,0,1,13,7,1,1,6,0,0,6,6,0,0,0,1,3,29,20,24,36,14,34,0,0,0,0,9,11,0,11,17,139,42,0,0.4268085342491909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784412335868108,0.09079565667803108,0.0,0.11197730617513003,0.0,0.0,0.3555660483407315,0.0,0.11911486956979392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519297121786536,0.0,0.0,0.13762809780083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047575288610887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16724238245444004,0.0,0.060641281455086675,0.1789933743672352,0.0,0.11763947894405564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21195858902338244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728140420794506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261006174760949,0.10425854545117706,0.10694356948570392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721430147507812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10749117393022606,0.0,0.2263882034225039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229526338112365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119659399427936,0.0,0.0,0.08115178075641366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739738243605405,0.09316818733344563,0.11148101918114146,0.0,0.0,0.12029062330131983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112303905164948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08826510751215655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553113845960292,0.0,0.0,0.1137302772067879,0.08521246169561585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802267251944811,0.0,0.0,0.19647397740081168,0.0,0.0,0.2126644688410206,0.13674083748680474,0.0,0.08470957530448688,0.12443774431200755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742535129450512 bipolarreddit,catloving,2019/01/30,"Lost my job I don't know if my bipolar shit was part of it, as they said I wasn't fast enough to get things done (physically). I do believe my short term memory had a part of it, but that doesn't matter now. Ignoring the pause between a transfer, I was employed just over 2 years. THAT is an achievement for me; at least something positive.",3.5591304347826096,4.637226652173915,4.499246376811595,87.38452173913046,72.33333333333334,7.838840579710146,28.29275362318841,8.238735603445708,1.7325049275362332,265,10,57,4,5,86,54,69,0.076,0.8079999999999999,0.116,0.6933,2,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,2,2,3,1,0,4,0,9,2,1,0,0,6,13,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,7,1,9,0,8,6,5,7,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,1,4,43,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2986311578584908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712477758465709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738771978674135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13848258789167114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630305386674843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14566970520205752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893436280225744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5740669646970404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25213217157920115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720796480304025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040556629531436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17609367652804767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17068955258129168 bipolarreddit,T_86,2019/01/30,"Getting help is extremely hard. You’re all so brave and I’m proud of you! I work as a receptionist at a general practitioner’s office and any time someone comes in asking their options for mental health, they’re usually shaking and you can tell they’ve been crying. It ALWAYS reminds me of when I finally sought help after suffering for so long. I wish I could hug every one when they’re first getting help. I don’t because that’s weird, but I really want to. ",2.7243467643467625,5.115454230769231,4.302783882783881,82.22277167277169,78.12087912087912,7.560927960927963,25.49572649572649,8.515128840125781,2.032610744810745,369,14,69,8,9,123,68,91,0.094,0.716,0.19,0.8104,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,1,3,4,6,0,1,2,0,5,2,0,0,1,11,12,9,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,2,1,1,10,3,9,10,1,12,0,1,0,1,8,2,0,1,8,39,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17506410702007585,0.0,0.0,0.14307468089418193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966893650119332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825382278078604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812352265758391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16798195625666665,0.0,0.23110719660200296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17726545694441814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304756119690119,0.0,0.17896046126933804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21984366528609486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18847110058888264,0.0,0.0,0.2236382741670868,0.0,0.0,0.42306664791481824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18619147869977745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21202699426737232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425679672232827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13478335632230953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17826558799891906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838930461942581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268204420433693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23171853176359644,0.0,0.1240954386979883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24194194931549934,0.0,0.0,0.15316885193890092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,silverlinin,2019/01/30,"Do you guys get stressed from reading? I think it's a form of irritation. It wasn't as bad as back in high school and primary as I was able to read and do my homework without being really stressed. Unless if it's something I'm really interested in. If I was given the same work again back from high school I wouldn't be able to do it. I thought long why and I think it's because of the newly bipolar diagnosis in late adolescent. Memory problems, stressed from reading! ",3.1847872340425525,5.0754304042553215,4.683989361702128,82.40875,74.74468085106382,8.104255319148937,29.835106382978722,8.841846274778883,2.507791489361701,374,17,74,8,8,125,56,94,0.145,0.7929999999999999,0.063,-0.7683,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,1,3,6,0,3,3,0,9,1,0,0,0,13,15,9,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,5,3,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,5,0,0,5,0,8,1,15,7,2,10,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,5,50,13,7,0.289232175716757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22240168988944867,0.12074839274372072,0.08815662488046899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07555593709709331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14319266348873905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055896735931261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313324613766106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279806869517742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837806525119264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4339656690767386,0.0,0.18528953797728825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29271840319426184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133252973618543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4969717201050443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853282995159088,0.0,0.11480901998578373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304935256986378,0.0,0.0,0.13940474805834704,0.0,0.10528223433019317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,twentyfour2424242424,2019/01/31,"(Reminded by earlier post) I have Bipolar and also ADHD. Is there any hope for ADHD treatment? I have Bipolar (I was diagnosed as BP2 but after an illness earlier in the year I feel like I may have had a manic episode over the summer, but we'll see what the doctor thinks) as well as ADHD. The mood stabilizers help, but don't do a whole lot for concentration while the ADHD meds work for concentration but make me, you know, *manic.* I'm totally open for another medication besides the standard Adderall/Ritalin. My overall mental health is the most important thing but I really feel like I always need that little extra *oomph*. Any hope out there?",3.231614748887477,5.99761561983471,4.911074380165289,76.43066751430388,78.75206611570249,8.020597584233949,26.663064208518755,8.841846274778883,2.6870312778130967,514,21,86,13,13,173,82,121,0.028,0.8009999999999999,0.171,0.9513,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,1,0,1,4,6,0,0,10,0,11,7,0,1,1,21,21,11,0,3,5,0,2,2,0,2,7,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,3,11,5,12,17,5,10,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,5,6,62,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6723846660310134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185372720317713,0.11638277291014835,0.0,0.0,0.1902323483567077,0.14666554791480602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14196477416434206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14316253740639906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14144461886620638,0.19984584510326067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14867492211536418,0.0,0.0,0.09375169368571468,0.0,0.0,0.2778442905471307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686871453681217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666651456696793,0.14018615772657028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891219445141515,0.0,0.0,0.09336409303246797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15536367567374046,0.14090398081215386,0.14095573298649453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037115904685386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339564834710381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960409428260516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145802063114407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929231958971593,0.08962283895971432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257596339677035,0.0,0.0,0.15615949520361944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182678800097487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900714837967708 bipolarreddit,City_in_space,2019/01/31,"Feeling flat from meds While on medication I always feel flat. No motivation, no creativity, no desire to do anything. How do I deal with this?",2.2903846153846166,5.202043807692308,4.645000000000003,73.33750000000002,91.69230769230772,7.215384615384615,25.73076923076923,8.07648339933343,2.5491076923076923,113,5,19,3,4,39,21,26,0.201,0.518,0.28,0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,6,4,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,4,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,14,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484060918295538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34456841905318963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4316788475296201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4234317986867505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4651002008308589,0.4218133324241173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,youngile,2019/01/31,Invega sustenna injections Anyone have experience with this? I’ve taken it 4 times and I really don’t like it. I have never been this depressed. Yeah it’s supposed to stop mania but I feel as if I have no soul. I’m going to ask my doctor to stop. I can’t stand this drug.,-0.9107088122605376,1.201312258620689,2.3854022988505754,89.4387164750958,98.82758620689656,5.33639846743295,15.06513409961686,6.937597516519254,0.11802835249042155,213,5,45,4,9,76,42,58,0.17800000000000002,0.757,0.064,-0.7309,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,1,8,11,4,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,1,6,1,5,9,0,6,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,28,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166891143274226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897144376711407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669162050080852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171955309705817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3593853293106005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031414256351487,0.0,0.0,0.1566946276484217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761231724930521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15140136672385665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23901379588374466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19852971858431592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5181801433917496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18070503937439172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,_ChelseaDagger_,2019/01/31,"Goodbye Mania, Hello Migraines. I just had a period of mania that lasted for about a month. My meds were moved around a bit and now, I’m plummeting. I have a horrible migraine and I feel the depression washing over me. I feel uncoordinated and confused. I’m not looking for a fix. I know I just need to ride it out like I always do. I just want a reminder that I’m not alone.",1.2437987012987008,3.4228096623376665,3.794918831168832,84.99809253246755,82.24675324675323,6.447402597402598,23.910714285714285,7.6454224807358475,1.2955987012987018,292,11,60,5,8,102,51,77,0.138,0.782,0.08,-0.7149,0,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,7,0,4,3,0,0,0,16,13,3,0,2,5,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,2,3,10,1,8,11,1,9,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,1,5,41,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30779573096594665,0.0,0.0,0.24728309058272646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264559115732482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3244508388733096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559664165016076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3005329880439841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16332600456649524,0.2422467755706547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14519038022654876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495619282000553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3301073597426278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23721153974108694,0.31586236503057125,0.0,0.2203601270104638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17528837938743635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,doncrotti,2019/01/31,"I think its best if I reenlist Right now I am contemplating on re-enlisting. Thinking about telling the truth about everything that happened to me. School is not working for me and I cant get a job. I believe the VA abandonned me when I applied to see a career counselor twice. If anyone else thought the same and have done, how did it go? I want to know because Im ready to work out and join again. Please I need help, no one wants a veteran apparently. ",2.7351923076923086,4.665224208791209,3.6286675824175854,89.3069574175824,76.14285714285714,6.747802197802199,28.957417582417587,7.6454224807358475,1.675471428571429,357,16,75,5,8,114,70,91,0.025,0.778,0.197,0.9231,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,6,3,0,0,6,0,6,0,0,1,1,18,17,7,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,4,0,0,1,3,1,0,2,3,1,11,2,9,14,2,7,0,1,1,0,2,3,0,2,3,50,14,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14818449425130545,0.2171445611145508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12918891376571193,0.0,0.0,0.23876949213943716,0.2224046242775803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21687520534453894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17703806348393536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19046659020726645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110723266179471,0.0,0.1204431672667347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187406609638028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205040055098278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22891784864587825,0.0,0.2103051422536356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11646970055173657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15714140607659455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14360742178299246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326325325281417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18098475446102905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21448173973978035,0.16887861811168753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852337994440128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271588910498446,0.0,0.16824660202883218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500004223043611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3085711938356695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,hercognizance,2019/01/31,"Dear husband, losing you is too high stakes Lately, I've managed to break down a ton of walls. I've managed to get to a better, stable place with my husband. I love him more every day and I am so fortunate to have him as my number one. However, lately, I've just been realizing that he, as my number one support is also my life support. In other communities on Reddit, people would urge me to be more self-sufficient, independent, but I think you guys know what I mean and if you have found your ""person"", you might relate. I'm so scared of him dying that I can't let him get any closer. I feel like this is the final hurdle of a really wonderful marriage but I'm just so fucking scared. The world without him is unimaginable and horrifying. So, classic me, I won't let it be ""no holds barred"". I still hold back just a little back in case he dies. I know I sound ridiculous. ",3.5369580419580444,4.731378045454548,5.1104545454545445,82.53664335664337,72.52272727272728,7.688111888111888,24.902097902097893,8.139509932561175,1.435108041958042,680,20,136,10,13,230,108,176,0.125,0.74,0.135,-0.6204,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,5,0,2,12,11,2,2,6,0,16,4,0,1,0,24,31,13,2,2,7,2,1,1,0,3,1,1,0,2,6,4,1,2,8,1,0,0,4,5,0,2,2,2,26,6,16,22,3,18,0,1,0,2,18,10,1,3,8,94,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091493979468538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431786491414534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21329693850818346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266511836827415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944728363130489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28788857897179626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11685714982928025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012873767420548,0.09908427028802924,0.0,0.1519344128523736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520727291735573,0.0,0.12822198437662208,0.1449256080467531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13733059651733154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465396729888365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15244711210129808,0.0,0.31290969045569145,0.0,0.0,0.2836515990931573,0.09796490873476983,0.06775973681954417,0.1390095764627248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15516506533326366,0.0,0.0,0.12517832787139924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108032993501386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14713427102377735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18796765702514573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615416843797564,0.12110377765867808,0.1449075370733252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885204785943128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2777172794058157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14468991388073396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107626037415666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31478058307128265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888706352126203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13369775197810105,0.1504096226513344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852548020674352,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,daltonminor,2019/01/31,"Does your “team” communicate? Hi all, I was wondering whether your different care providers (gp, psychiatrist, psychologist etc) communicate about you? I get awfully paranoid about what people say behind my back even though I know they are just relaying facts and doing what is in my best interest. Does anyone else get this feeling? I feel so stupid for being paranoid about it. Sometimes I think the four of them are plotting against me. ",6.925600000000002,9.428314293333337,6.119666666666667,73.45150000000002,66.06666666666666,9.8,35.16666666666667,10.125756701596842,4.035266666666667,352,17,56,9,6,107,61,75,0.099,0.7509999999999999,0.15,0.647,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,3,2,2,8,4,1,0,1,1,6,0,0,0,2,10,14,4,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,13,3,8,12,3,2,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,1,1,43,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.165438137219595,0.24242746772975074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819329025806813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24829997858688005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412322623566403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471995051589197,0.0,0.0,0.4141053047335301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976512292175174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638745984073358,0.1562738784334286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23926690910095497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472303326491893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003067830515327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16403054897556793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18815599552750475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340061599516153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15160548230560358,0.23246099092633601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565855789249631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,destinyl3gacy,2019/02/01,"Please give me advice on anti-psychotic options etc I don't want to make this to long. I have tried so many different anti-psychotic over the last 10 years. Although some have worked great for me, I have had such bad side effects that I have had to get off. I'm currently taking 400 of lamictal and have an appointment Wednesday to add another anti-psychotic. I'm having such a hard time with this because I desperately want a new doctor but have to be on long waiting lists to switch. I have already tried Abilify. Geodon Risperdal. Seroque and latuda and none of these worked for me. The only other pill I know I have been recommended was one called Saphris and I took it one time and my entire mouth went numb. I know going on reddit to get medication advice might be the silliest thing ever but because I'm on a waiting list for a new doctor I'm desperate for advice. Thank you all very much.",2.6748253968253977,5.1793241428571415,3.84509523809524,84.8115158730159,79.0,7.088888888888889,24.579365079365076,8.167268648758528,1.7029555555555556,715,26,135,14,18,232,105,175,0.081,0.847,0.071,0.0844,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,3,4,4,0,0,8,0,17,6,1,2,2,22,36,9,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,7,7,0,2,3,0,0,3,2,2,0,2,6,1,15,2,20,27,5,21,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,3,11,86,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3985505516636668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002580616333505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14255694956969214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351378238809465,0.16574948461615593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882163114175985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420403298767575,0.0,0.27830414048114577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15162180433888486,0.0,0.12297587025419345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205804328959118,0.13041701925403595,0.07726434226470456,0.0,0.0,0.1498869540167442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217857959721063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14943072340447253,0.11081857727434342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406255109226377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09074864882229072,0.1378334322816623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369567834599778,0.0,0.14422300464480595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099939958818346,0.0,0.0,0.2626055159267921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1842484424844158,0.10339720423615588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923386708482608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221857133401377,0.0,0.0,0.1251658298748796,0.0,0.0,0.09032010270783357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854876804164664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15104706369695453,0.18460422146799127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217418456766597,0.16037537565304272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602835656006606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19794855013026946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754827671418909 bipolarreddit,Whoisthisguyreally,2019/02/01,"RISPERIDONE 1MG Tablet Hi everyone.. Yesterday I saw a psychiatrist and he diagnosed me with bipolar, schizophrenia, manic depression and anxiety. He gave me this medication called risperidone in 1mg tablet form. After reading lots of negative posts online about it, I'm terrified to take this. Suppose to take it in the morning, not sure if that cause it could interact with my Tramadol prescription that is taken at night as a sleep aid. Was wondering if anyone may be comfortable sharing there experiences with this medication? Also, how bad do you think it would effect the creative portion of ones mental state? Thanks in advance :)",5.982424242424242,9.27829818518519,5.939090909090911,69.96954545454547,71.77777777777777,9.482828282828283,34.81818181818182,9.800150414767053,4.486322222222221,516,27,73,15,11,162,85,108,0.149,0.733,0.117,-0.6152,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,2,4,6,0,0,4,0,7,5,1,3,1,18,16,7,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,9,5,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,2,0,1,4,1,5,4,14,8,3,10,0,1,1,0,8,4,0,5,3,51,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16015337017664208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320363283359786,0.0,0.0,0.14003127519163086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16721449906175986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20449489940298524,0.0,0.0,0.20572927569780491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15989682638094707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17248959031747174,0.20326669121616414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19136360830742685,0.0,0.1958994595868664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17025975953310382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4034956717603304,0.2018219352002493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18793692225045586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13570603659213595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19180033443077815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20032109832076672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20041153361502406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18874918625410125,0.0,0.3011515754446138,0.0,0.0,0.1843788578079532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12832294518111514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21718091376327325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14226386213246714,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,nepheliads,2019/02/01,Do Lamictal side effects go away? I’m on my 3rd day of 25mg Lamictal and I am SO drowsy and disoriented. I can’t think or even walk straight. I have no motivation to do anything and it’s made me more depressed. I told my psychiatrist and he says it will only last the first few days and I should keep taking it. Will it actually go away or should I insist on being prescribed something else? ,1.265694444444442,3.655049625,3.3641666666666663,86.7752777777778,84.0,6.555555555555558,23.88888888888889,7.793537801064563,1.3510972222222226,310,12,65,6,9,105,58,80,0.121,0.8240000000000001,0.055,-0.7412,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,1,0,10,0,0,3,0,14,18,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,1,3,0,0,3,2,1,0,1,2,1,9,0,6,11,2,13,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,2,4,43,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.2383844230907551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20102363375232532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4590227869787882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31508392939319896,0.0,0.2104001074593561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20406663282474072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16134624761314806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20778651851219293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776626800721852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21712945660486505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19912279238955616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311459510522397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857878032652138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19426320091755786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1880605567273465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18366999341375054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15652632373881234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334223397341703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Wowwzaa,2019/02/01,"It feels like my life is falling apart. Any time I try to make a name for myself or pull myself back from the brink, it all seems to fall apart. I'm not necessarily afraid of failure, but it seems like that's all that can happen to me. It's getting really hard to keep going when all I'm ever met with is disappointment. I'm caught in this stranglehold: the manic side of me sees all this potential and what I can be if I put my mind to it, but I always fall short and that just further verifies what the depressed side of me feels(that I'm not worth much of anything and I have no real way of making my life better.) It leaves me with no motivation to even try to do better because it's always ended the same way. I feel like I'm running out of time to get my life in order and I don't even really have a clue what to do with my life. I've been trying to just take the bad with the good but I just keep wondering when the good is going to come and it just makes me so damn disappointed with myself. Nobody has to reply or anything I think I just wanted to write all this down somewhere to try and get me to stop ruminating over my life",4.055739972337483,4.144829788381745,5.364796680497925,85.21613001383126,70.6182572614108,8.252392807745506,24.36542185338866,8.021203637495839,1.0707657538035955,893,20,199,11,15,300,116,241,0.14800000000000002,0.764,0.087,-0.9427,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,12,13,1,1,9,0,13,5,0,4,6,51,41,15,0,2,13,0,3,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,17,13,0,3,7,0,1,10,5,6,0,0,3,4,25,7,33,37,7,33,0,3,1,0,3,12,1,6,11,132,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939845637739483,0.0,0.0,0.07926890335427797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19184783512055165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08963208836289513,0.09732777312494878,0.07105757510195672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061863767108558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041132064768464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039815809652776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10324291141848432,0.0,0.0,0.15398153804912434,0.10544065529437056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787858289867605,0.16654960229518498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18270283198642112,0.0,0.13249433181386533,0.1955401251988762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307896282112433,0.0,0.10442027453273924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207218501690542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12342660389337586,0.0,0.0,0.4116702010629635,0.17084483520112648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334262074126225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769846957513333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568945050860069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11718106438110187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267767129036442,0.14935037812847332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288804077529801,0.21223468695050232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974544276117488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764315407920642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469081069758146,0.0,0.0,0.13594118881916442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165627540013829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875366958975042,0.1850493912114054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264108963063891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ChoonieShlop,2019/02/01,"Depressive State (Seeking Advice) I'm currently feeling really trapped in a depressive state and I don't know how to get out of it. I'm more accustomed to dealing with depression (as I was initially diagnosed with depression for 2 years be for ending rediagnosed). But I just can't seem to find my way out. I know I have a lot to be happy and grateful for, and I'm trying to engage in activities that I enjoy (doodling, baking, etc.) but I feel pretty stuck this time. I don't know why. Sometimes I'll feel like I'm getting out, but then I'll fall right back down. And I feel like I keep making stupid decisions in this state of mind (honestly I make bad ones in a manic state too), I just want to be stable for a while at least. Basically: Any advice on getting out of a depressive state?",2.635515370705246,4.5759428227848105,4.56965641952984,82.40151898734176,76.46835443037975,8.311754068716096,25.84267631103075,9.04235418022936,2.1914018083182643,618,23,123,15,14,211,90,158,0.162,0.688,0.15,-0.609,1,1,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,5,13,1,0,5,0,8,2,0,3,0,32,28,11,0,1,5,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,10,1,1,10,0,0,1,3,7,0,1,2,4,13,6,27,23,4,26,0,5,0,0,1,12,0,2,9,76,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653893658344804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923434337096066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10441591165958676,0.1133809146507172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13999591868151348,0.5847886286074736,0.1378263457859684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12027168969337175,0.0,0.1514443312104614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746427071669285,0.1940201202250737,0.0,0.0,0.12411171984706446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128376467969008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14455344905009596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12069845276364533,0.0,0.0,0.22388372240022866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268253624849702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544577397528527,0.0,0.0,0.1812848552893817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711153255593658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09201638995884656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13814960705068094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08699203696923014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596589881167572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12362022757966624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13430207608803102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918159345552593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09219407123121123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009382824028527,0.10778562252817687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253144711508247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744580156805629 bipolarreddit,HEM1987,2019/02/01,"Am I bipolar? tldr; got a diagnosis for bipolar as I was incredibly agitated and restless after a bad reaction to some medication and hospitalized as a manic episode. However I didn't feel elated and I was lucid. Is this bipolar or should I get a second opinion. I'm 31 years old and male. Apologies for the essay. Basically my story starts when I was very depressed and anxious for most of my adult life, and medication and therapy didn't do anything to really help. I tried Zoloft one day after the recommendation of my Dr. I woke up in the middle of the night all the time in a panic and couldn't think straight and after a week I was so restless I had to go to hospital. The attending Dr at the hospital said that it is a common reaction to medication if you're bipolar, and prescribed me Olanzapine. After 2 months I hated the medication as it made me so sleepy and gain weight. So I decided to stop as I didn't need this before for 31 years. I was also prescribed Klonopin. I stopped Olanzapine and became very restless but I could deal with it with the Klonopin and I took it for 2 weeks. I remember the first day I stopped and I felt amazing though, like fully focused and full of positive energy to do things. However, one day I forgot to take Klonopin and it was like a switch flicked in my brain. I spent the next month waking up in the middle of the night in panic, feeling super restless in the morning and struggling to focus on anything. I came off the Klonopin after that bad experience (but slowly tapered, I learned my lesson from the Olanzapine not to come of medication too quickly). I also got some Trazadone for sleep since I couldn't sleep for the whole night and would wake up in a panic and also couldn't get back to sleep despite feeling tired. As time went on, over the course of 3 months, I stopped having the panic attacks in the night, but would wake up super early really restless but exhausted. I also started to have depersonalization and had this spaced out feeling a lot of the time, and I would sort of feel like I was looked at myself in the third person. This carried on and didn't get better with time over the course of a few months. Around thanksgiving I got really drunk, and after then, the restlessness became unbearable. I was also super emotional and couldn't focus. But I was fully aware of everything, and I didn't do anything reckless, and I didn't feel elated or anything. I basically tried to stick it out but couldn't take it, and went to hospital and they put me in a psychiatric ward as I was so agitated and restless and it was then they told me they thought I was bipolar and put me on Olanzapine again. I've stuck it out for a few months, and to be fair, after two weeks of taking Olanzapine and Depakote, I started to feel much less restless and I was able to sleep fully. Also, the spaced out feeling subsided and started to feel myself again. However, the medication has left me super sleepy and it's affecting my work. With my psychiatrist's help we're going to lower the medication dose, but after that reduction, I'm feeling a bit spaced out, but less so than I was before. I'm still super sleepy though. Basically I don't know what the hell is wrong with me and I kind of feel like I've been put in a bipolar box in terms of a diagnosis, but when I look at classic bipolar behavior, I don't really see it in myself? Has anyone else experienced anything like me? Like severe agitation, inability to sleep and depersonalization, but also being lucid, not engaging in reckless behavior and not having an elated mood? Also that was a massive post, so thanks if you read it :)",6.1095428344265565,6.576342222222228,7.065010932220236,73.48761180679786,66.23646723646723,9.949035976942957,32.707347777115224,9.877274947071175,3.1690531637182797,2888,115,529,60,43,969,255,702,0.159,0.708,0.133,-0.9331,4,0,0,0,0,0,68.0,0,1,3,10,25,38,3,13,46,0,50,32,9,2,1,113,101,79,0,13,17,0,13,6,0,4,21,1,0,3,22,52,2,5,19,2,1,11,16,21,0,6,40,18,67,16,97,49,14,106,1,1,3,0,13,42,1,10,58,382,89,3,0.05190769867721489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33208454302747004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05864092456624283,0.0,0.036295069829218034,0.05318557146283942,0.21357806594392706,0.04620885689391408,0.0,0.05905250088401943,0.0,0.039913816211755784,0.08668152041890442,0.0,0.0,0.08833925678330369,0.0,0.0,0.045908141245606486,0.056669762979429224,0.0,0.0,0.057946158630414864,0.0,0.059368578918022635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04471388618867065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04144407362587296,0.0,0.0,0.10042851429010227,0.053514558076808265,0.04470802480958923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04336222159439844,0.05838917442663057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04665129254334848,0.050775689612775454,0.0,0.0,0.28870701313339364,0.07416574061330186,0.049839530944294184,0.0,0.0,0.044152661977778826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135889044276827,0.0,0.05900068274329333,0.0,0.12454598547205666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05124810595969975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958527251201778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054053880400438375,0.028527113689401088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05639786649267051,0.0,0.036663942668741234,0.1521568776873071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871787872017728,0.0,0.0,0.044130069178497384,0.0,0.0491163195640283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660408181529791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20716114927910412,0.0,0.03815813110411119,0.03848890084909313,0.0,0.0,0.055204426423220335,0.1948474355384944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05446839794696714,0.0,0.07034800001096282,0.0,0.0,0.2436100010369808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04532380031167077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04971322671957303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15654472251953286,0.0,0.0,0.0519217456376661,0.0,0.13301360378084956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058801303800169825,0.0,0.0493761081854229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04136371533333722,0.0,0.0,0.05864092456624283,0.0,0.04293858474514967,0.0,0.2597259289820677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469621451647663,0.0,0.04145355521553167,0.17358864146815736,0.0,0.054265197027108886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708438823737727,0.0,0.0,0.04778963492272106,0.059360977238191975,0.0,0.034485168507290165,0.03326035737134995,0.1019981008011647,0.0412089146035016,0.12107118611735672,0.059660263698512274,0.0,0.04960003054163643,0.057671363162312875,0.07048384018200028,0.0,0.05070627912402527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565857524536058,0.0,0.0,0.1249116745642324,0.06320959297340606,0.0,0.09623791342951564,0.0,0.05795309184232236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03778942285471994,0.0,0.0,0.11062121950698506,0.05675291989648186,0.0,0.06685371217474992 bipolarreddit,p1netr3e,2019/02/01,"Pauses in symptoms during hypomania Is it possible to experience a break in symptoms during hypomania? For example, I may feel very tired from the lack of sleep for a few hours during the day, feel ashamed of hypersexual symptoms, or just feel like I've snapped back to my true self/calmed down, only for this fleeting break to end and be brought back up. I'm new to all this, and am not yet well-versed enough on the illness or my own individual symptoms to be able to differentiate between a genuinely high mood, with the normal mood fluctuations all people experience, or being hypomanic. I'm using either zopiclone or ambien regularly for sleep at the moment, so I don't know if the drowsiness is perhaps just a hangover from those. I'm also starting abilify (though at a very low 2mg so far), so unsure if that's potentially causing certain symptoms I'm having as well. I appreciate any insight from you all.",8.287192982456139,7.88062941520468,9.071461988304094,63.86578947368422,61.865497076023395,11.576608187134507,39.46783625730994,10.980518767755715,4.508934502923977,734,35,124,17,9,250,109,171,0.097,0.831,0.071,-0.6632,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,0,11,8,0,1,11,0,9,9,2,2,5,28,20,14,0,4,10,0,3,1,0,1,7,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,1,3,6,4,25,15,8,22,0,1,0,0,1,10,0,7,10,84,11,0,0.12611753907438816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085615043277636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576425132527661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19395320555421502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12955745330440838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08133537925929042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11170270595108844,0.13031313120709306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467343065462907,0.0,0.0,0.1913064514921898,0.09009839511421874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332501043654727,0.0,0.0,0.12420037154462775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931090121669778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061614659148782586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180510512617293,0.0,0.0,0.12356841100391333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591807154003816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743402191508619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14217857579791793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315680984678314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25241723930562976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926664328026315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6554220632076866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390984180686546,0.0,0.0,0.1449535585265352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892506082619126,0.0,0.2081203556671108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267896274708551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,MissLuxious,2019/02/01,"Recently diagnosed BP, on meds, still feeling hypersexual sometimes. I was diagnosed about 9 months ago and have been in meds that have been working and keeping me on even keel. They did take a while to get accustomed to but I'd say I've been steady for 5 months. I am not nearly as hypersexual as I was or engaged in risky behavior (blowing a cop on the side of the road who had stopped me for speeding???), but I still find that some days I'll start masturbating and end up spending a good part of the day doing it. It hasn't happened often but it happens enough to make me worry. Even then I didn't start doing that until a couple months ago. I didn't know if I was just getting used to my meds or what. I'm hesitant to change them since everything else seems okay. ",5.56530465949821,5.431611064516133,6.200215053763441,81.28476702508962,67.38709677419354,9.469534050179213,31.415770609319,9.150863307647796,2.414555555555556,605,22,127,10,9,198,99,155,0.073,0.85,0.077,0.163,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,1,7,3,0,0,7,1,16,2,0,2,0,21,30,14,0,1,8,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,8,3,0,2,4,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,10,2,13,3,20,20,3,27,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,6,18,85,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24089801263275826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374252751524508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15034811731377687,0.0,0.17526211377733916,0.0,0.0,0.27582972879009754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11350991302274965,0.0,0.12034893387062025,0.1403998790949888,0.0,0.17949429830446095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12211976149483993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870477393131356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419143027360725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14198289414487367,0.0,0.0,0.11396930439719792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403156421989584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077597102835635,0.0,0.0,0.07467583704457406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070064250610232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4527945834856722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32537323741828256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14714429142602514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416464488717894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805685738251436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369962234658945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11240095273097178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13438833124414162,0.0,0.1923524637566572,0.0,0.21702713901570925,0.11360137275192787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216449739330534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735628810966013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098921917367197,0.13799226015197774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,clah_13,2019/02/01,"Mental health road to recovery. Fuck. Me. I’m new to reddit. My sisters been an active user for years. I finally decided to check it out. Little overwhelming with all the communities. I feel like I want to reach them all. - Anyhow, going through a mental health transition. Seeking help I’ve felt that I needed for a long time now. I could only repress myself for so long. This last melt down, completely broke me. My life that I created is, in my eyes, perfect. I’ve worked so hard to have it all, to not be my mom. And yet here I am, in the shower, tears blending with the water and my dog is scratching at the door to get in. But in that moment, I wanted everything to stop. Even my heart. I pulled myself out of the shower. Looked in the mirror. Wiped my eyes and smiled. I couldn’t convince myself I was ok, but maybe I could to my husband. Got dressed, went downstairs. Tried folding some laundry. Tried hiding. Tried holding back. But I looked at him and completely lost it. - Immediately, I made an appointment with my primary that week. From there, I have now sought out a therapist and psychiatrist. I’ve since tried new medications. Not to much help. How am I supposed to feel? Bipolar 2 is my official diagnosis. However, I always mask and mask and mask and pretend. I’m very high functioning. - Before my meltdown, I was the most manic I’ve ever been. Reckless. Hyper sexual (my husband loved that part). No sleep. Busy busy busy. What can I get into next? What’s going to keep me from crashing? Constantly on the go. And the second I withdraw in the slightest, people are surprised. What do you mean you don’t want to go out? You don’t want to talk and socialize? Why are you being so anxious? BECAUSE THIS IS WHO I AM. I’ve been so fucking good at keeping this up, I trick myself. But only for so long. Other people, I had convinced. - Which brings me here. I’m now trying another medication AND was told that marijuana isn’t a great match for bipolar, which is a fucking bummer. I love my maryjane. However, I am dedicated and took my vows seriously. I want to be the best me, wife, daughter, sister and friend I can be. This process is hard and challenging. I want to be open with those around me about this struggle. But for now, I think I need to understand it myself before the outside world can get it. - Well, thanks for sticking around this long if your still reading. This journey is hard but worth it. Exhausting but rewarding. Everyone, keep your head up. It’s so fucking hard. But please do it for yourself. You’ll make it through. We’re all struggling together in different ways, but we all have the same end goal. Keep fighting. ",1.3472865595942525,4.027880737672587,2.781854325162019,88.01841124260356,89.74950690335304,5.73737954353339,22.824711186249647,7.2259226712905225,1.2026526570865037,2062,79,392,36,70,668,250,507,0.102,0.737,0.161,0.9872,5,0,0,0,2,0,100.0,1,7,1,7,23,30,6,4,20,1,40,20,5,3,7,78,85,31,0,12,12,7,8,1,1,1,8,0,3,0,30,27,1,7,7,2,2,9,7,14,1,1,14,12,65,16,56,62,11,60,0,3,4,6,27,26,4,4,25,269,95,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06154528040441065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775593504637675,0.0,0.08356004186780126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169007976185426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05687495854521325,0.0,0.04508872561224599,0.0,0.12587850635002787,0.0,0.07762230354481084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510298806587972,0.07993050559668255,0.0,0.11811097976254382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727827901869415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06551154184023472,0.0,0.0,0.04885356211837152,0.06690609365886413,0.0,0.07067727290045538,0.06647548596723983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747984303186901,0.05284101876500357,0.07101854759592559,0.08102566771945048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057145616743831465,0.2735199144257974,0.11593187423291593,0.0,0.16814535434853992,0.062038811756704414,0.0591570240833853,0.08154730324703015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26503449350792324,0.0,0.07591001500509276,0.15724388656314822,0.0,0.08764955787080811,0.09915512634727053,0.0781486868471806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629759923864414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06029181249080416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05224407028197327,0.0361358418887787,0.07413293368391964,0.0,0.2618288114119371,0.1242249020193272,0.0,0.08074215828550907,0.0,0.13351363143305114,0.0699880117771047,0.049372593053981735,0.0,0.07430835780736833,0.08057019066611107,0.0,0.14902506259885698,0.14907979753946188,0.0,0.0,0.08662758290859221,0.0,0.0,0.05437320533810387,0.1096890674962949,0.0,0.1428728189328114,0.07866322397426341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125082996589414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009750559710592,0.0,0.1025568277183594,0.0,0.0,0.08119198561159502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398558722299292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06118508474394475,0.0,0.07401898813985791,0.07539858502123051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05906900061690092,0.06183852938943917,0.0,0.15464974909894147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05945072427530421,0.0,0.06809756027087423,0.0,0.08587972893022597,0.0,0.047394151354972436,0.0,0.0,0.04312991931736383,0.0,0.0,0.07067727290045538,0.08217847102619094,0.2510888377091592,0.0,0.0,0.07700076803961875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0610293424496831,0.2617608612609619,0.058710427516506014,0.059330719593127176,0.0,0.06650393131699868,0.06856682542885252,0.06674242329919322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053847816678494094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04763140272481177 bipolarreddit,SaveTheWalrus,2019/02/01,"Hello! I has a question about smoking-related mood changes. I'm new to reddit so I'm really sorry if I'm doing this wrong and thank you all in advance for your responses. So tldr: I've been diagnosed for some 4 years, unstable as hell for 3. A year and a half ago I started taking a concoction of depakote, trileptal and clonazepam and it worked better than other things. I was suppressed and tired af all the time but could fight through it and improve and get stable. Now 40 days ago, I stopped smoking. Ever since I did I've been so fatigued I can't do anything. I'm not depressed or sad or anything, just **tired**. Has anyone else experienced something like meaning? Or conversely, used smoking as a way to stay alert? ",2.4130952380952384,4.968523642857143,3.6428571428571423,85.56880952380955,80.42857142857143,6.019047619047619,28.619047619047624,7.3011,1.863461904761905,570,27,104,8,15,185,98,140,0.136,0.7020000000000001,0.162,0.6976,0,0,1,0,1,0,22.0,0,2,0,3,7,10,2,0,6,0,10,4,0,1,3,24,20,17,0,2,7,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,7,0,2,2,0,0,1,2,6,0,1,4,1,8,3,12,15,3,15,1,3,0,0,6,1,1,6,12,64,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2995246745167216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11813247158973372,0.17310734045646534,0.27805985690100904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149420905289685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17872473623869148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13489134676440298,0.0,0.0,0.10895757713098632,0.0,0.14551479017682598,0.17147881137533072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14113449663194585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282327008943414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08826843295821858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253953000208189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840340593205892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16317117172865406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18926058858527928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10823250818655228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13975565183859714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006453648320135,0.0,0.18912361692460944,0.11958236697251945,0.18007624386148155,0.0,0.14124821465441562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12702797957716744,0.0,0.0,0.15554475349837682,0.0,0.0,0.11224164075516273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851502229946356,0.3883620800049784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14591695304736013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410317402729488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229962621034532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847182752052036,0.0,0.21759413306856928 bipolarreddit,funclubfatass,2019/02/01,"Going off abilify... akathisia gets worse? Hi, I'm currently tapering off 5mg abilify (I was only on it for 2 months) because of the horrible akathisia. Ever since I started tapering, it's gotten worse. I read that the akathisia usually gets worse during withdrawals before it disappears. My psych prescribed geodon to taper onto while I'm going thru these withdrawals, as he said it has a much lower incidence of akathisia. Is this all gonna be ok? Should I just tough it out?",3.7975252525252543,6.563489863636367,4.448333333333334,80.58555555555556,76.5,8.002020202020201,30.232323232323232,8.841846274778883,3.013594444444444,380,18,64,9,9,121,65,88,0.212,0.764,0.024,-0.9454,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,1,5,0,0,0,2,5,15,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,8,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,3,1,5,1,11,9,2,14,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,6,37,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13732830656876807,0.0,0.1916962818944723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037782265198405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23539850593937545,0.0,0.2560630895699892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17981596638153138,0.0,0.16560637078129548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17133522912097549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253404873583293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142924153591869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863535498299915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15945400625470274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481135679057765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6887372419046138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,KYLO_RENS_DAD,2019/02/02,"How do you move on and let go of the past? It seems like my past mistakes haunt me. I can't let go of the small, stupid things I've done years and years go that don't even matter.",-0.4518292682926841,1.1033500975609771,0.7831097560975628,107.7044207317073,84.60975609756099,4.1000000000000005,12.689024390243905,3.1291,-1.9553463414634151,138,1,39,0,4,43,30,41,0.219,0.7240000000000001,0.057,-0.733,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,2,0,6,0,0,1,0,6,10,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,2,0,0,1,0,4,1,3,7,0,10,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,5,22,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518135768450228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16252596753182325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41953931120614657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5032435620712186,0.0,0.1202166722524862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615319441585979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4698005801758534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240115813717849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634770217301256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3169201784709492 bipolarreddit,gotigergo,2019/02/02,Expired Quetiapine (2017) Is it safe to take them for 2 nights? Very low dosage (only 25mg). Won't be able to pick up my prescription until Monday.,0.7101724137931029,3.2320888965517263,2.699568965517244,88.62107758620691,91.06896551724138,5.658620689655173,17.594827586206893,7.1686216300943375,0.4199586206896551,114,3,23,2,4,38,28,29,0.08199999999999999,0.8190000000000001,0.099,0.1298,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,5,2,0,5,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,11,3,0,0.5195104136225437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4875253305841914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39511107959576014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3906071771754507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4286504987705104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,coldhandscolderheart,2019/02/02,"Hypomania or am I overthinking a normal mood? I have a real problem with getting oddly anxious about hypo/mania. Right now ive been doing great for about 3 weeks and I'm worried I'm actually hypo, and to be honest, the only thing missing is productivity. Instead of working on coursework or assignments like I usually do when hypo I've just been playing video games and partying. I've had loads of energy, not much of an appetite, some confusion, a bit impulsive, far more sociable than usual. Idk validate me Bois or tell me I'm overreacting. I shouldn't worry anyway as I'm clearly not a danger to myself or others. ",4.228050847457624,6.3572760423728845,6.612000000000003,68.6749491525424,72.47457627118644,9.126779661016947,31.29152542372881,9.642632912329526,3.596265084745763,495,23,78,13,10,176,87,118,0.101,0.66,0.239,0.9537,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,7,9,1,1,6,0,11,0,0,0,1,18,17,9,0,3,7,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,8,4,12,12,4,8,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,6,6,55,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.21034635378350044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24351089542533036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353254971461683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261632502712778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376453672034018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530716618364236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845453907232976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21119388425432573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16393599249312532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062528739856357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453438448341391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840790886741121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18840078046816527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14320228277808794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4747972056222542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729017402505492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569234500483403,0.4378043232347841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,pineofapple,2019/02/02,"not wanting to take meds? i want to get better! i really do! there's no excuse for me not taking vraylar at all all i have are two days of community college a week. i impulsively quit my job (hi mania), so i don't have to worry about being excessively tired while in retail. im just over being drowsy & needing to nap every day. everything seems overwhelming too. i hate feeling that way. tbh there's a part of me that wants to stop seeing a psychiatrist & just use weed/alcohol to help out. i daydream about getting high a lot. it's detrimental i know! i know drugs aren't worth it and hurt instead of help! but that's where i'm at rn anyone else have that feeling during the trial process?? is there something wrong with me??",1.4137751813053967,3.9110491849315054,3.1963980660757483,87.44259871071718,84.54794520547945,5.901047542304593,21.601933924254627,7.285733465282438,0.888350201450443,575,19,114,9,17,191,100,146,0.125,0.784,0.091,-0.8312,1,0,3,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,2,11,5,1,1,5,0,10,2,0,1,2,22,27,4,0,4,5,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,5,1,2,0,5,4,0,1,0,3,13,1,18,25,4,13,0,2,1,0,4,7,0,2,5,72,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161514139725561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32750290534987786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567500440404767,0.15485258810668714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13366396734152886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19493526696299093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752651321480878,0.0,0.12625138839844655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273352234619037,0.0,0.1358276914239258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15283375464645596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579204585508522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492115554116032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20260118009870115,0.1596792496935634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617899256776552,0.0,0.16324848821762056,0.0,0.1499751842872118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16611638324141936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284870170172397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678735753910329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206245878222904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16366122211474235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16074747913623588,0.0,0.0,0.0968190255004282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12043263232681205,0.1375848914842391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634879284847867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12635311447226522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272649022002013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737039950261135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763399808727373,0.0,0.0,0.13052951866999668,0.0,0.0,0.2674246977881196,0.11996154245504433,0.12122896968103745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15348187632682947,0.0,0.0,0.16523911066222344,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,oblbious,2019/02/02,"Is it mania or genuine confidence It's more than likely that it's mania since I'm on reddit posting about it after drinking champagne and finishing crocheting a stuffed animal cat wearing a scarf.. but I HAVE FELT REALLY FINANCIALLY CONFIDENT AND WANT TO APLY FOR A CREDIT CARD WITHIN THE NEXT HOUR or I never will. I have refused to get a credit card for 9 years now.. (currently24). My recent stability has helped me succeed financially to the point I confidently have bought myself things that aren't necessities! I am now sure that this is just mania and a bad impulsive decision as I am constantly deleting random rambled jumbled sentences into this impulsive post. &#x200B; I just would really appreciate some sort of advice or anyones past experience having a credit card even though there's a chance your mania could destroy you ",5.9541249354672185,8.649285228187921,6.777986577181211,66.88207537429014,69.20134228187919,9.685286525554984,32.266907589055236,10.035473477838034,4.05653701600413,685,31,98,19,13,226,104,149,0.056,0.67,0.274,0.988,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,1,8,8,1,0,9,0,13,2,1,0,2,21,18,9,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,10,4,1,1,2,1,4,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,12,6,13,13,2,17,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,6,12,74,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868824839784531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20721397003309736,0.2323837114705645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13372301031915676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596816579221207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20666799615990947,0.0,0.15269363886659598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18734737584037592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631557517254774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870743904888572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18362527313284333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991766372518224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12818754941056915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18833788564251966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343268852055367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749999967736255,0.0,0.2033913178564194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825650737617973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18078842149332974,0.0,0.3663198534071132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24503299752100235,0.0,0.18883144976559335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15819991084142634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18024622961298387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270547367963991,0.0,0.1878973253137064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280130630572067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13585502151536494,0.0,0.2323837114705645,0.12315556472385257 bipolarreddit,allendullard,2019/02/03,"im cycling too fast maybe I just have a personality disorder :/ (not because that would be worse but because they say it's harder to treat) I used to have a lot of faith in psychiatrists. Fear, almost, about how much they'd know about me just by seeing me and talking to me. But they don't know shit. They just know about different variations of ""crazy"" in their most extreme and/or delineated manifestations and anything more complicated than that is just conjecture On the topic of rapid cycling. They don't seem to know anything. It is said to be rare but you talk to patients and so many of them say they rapid cycle all over the place. How common is it actually? Whatever. I'm so depressed. After feeling so so good. That's 2 distinct episodes already this year if we're talking in bipolar terms. I can't be this person. Do I go back to the ward if this gets as bad as it got in december? It did not help whatsoever. I'm just talking to myself at this point, rhetorical. Thanks for reading, I guess I could use some support",2.4780547619047617,4.9941259150000015,3.700285714285717,85.49633333333338,79.85,6.609523809523811,26.023809523809533,7.793537801064563,1.6122809523809516,813,33,159,14,21,264,122,200,0.111,0.7879999999999999,0.102,-0.2312,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,8,0,16,9,1,1,5,0,16,2,1,4,2,34,34,16,0,4,12,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,2,12,3,0,0,6,1,0,1,5,4,0,0,3,5,19,5,28,25,7,16,1,1,1,0,19,9,1,8,6,108,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.13009668281432998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334962013014382,0.0,0.14711695329939922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194145706282479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251137924126114,0.11131286176357016,0.16253576508781906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10644156715621964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11482443227349587,0.0,0.0,0.13928630754604882,0.15279109624369774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500169850483235,0.0674083151283072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965183875661246,0.0,0.07576626264077563,0.11181870408948164,0.10662457231991623,0.0,0.14686203734966552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935855973081573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400360134381204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29306681722019456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334005832716228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516097755875875,0.13393332395892474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800222128595193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23281187936303765,0.13928630754604882,0.0,0.12602622512822298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335156251893132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12681355560690868,0.2120356498515536,0.0,0.0,0.10623518149373104,0.1213654109789758,0.0,0.0,0.13684643002479038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512848330346173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4286157492323151,0.0,0.12273898750682688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302835508662923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135859869139438,0.09470349585925587,0.0,0.0,0.0858508017132852 bipolarreddit,MissVipolar,2019/02/03,"BP2 but only suffer depression these days I was diagnosed BP2 a few years ago, and whilst I don’t doubt my diagnosis, I only suffer depressive episodes these days, no hypomanic ones. I’m not on any medication for this (with my doctors blessing). I stick to a sleep routine and rarely have insomnia these days. Is this why I’m never hypomanic? It’s not that I want to be - although I’ve found hypomania can be beneficial for me (confidence, ease of talking to others), there’s no guarantee it will be a positive turn, and can completely destroy my world. I’m just curious as to why I only deal with (a lot of) depression since being diagnosed. Anyone else similar?",4.602,6.527587800000003,6.465799999999998,70.96990000000002,71.0,10.76,32.5,10.793553405168565,4.1886800000000015,525,25,92,18,10,182,81,125,0.258,0.626,0.116,-0.9729,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,2,8,1,1,4,0,11,6,1,0,1,14,17,6,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,9,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,2,0,10,1,12,10,2,9,1,5,0,0,2,2,0,2,7,61,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14385776968379302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11036082940723484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347495105405345,0.16628236691444856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17015499274634513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31398536487527645,0.16731092919834034,0.41933306238530893,0.3294360892608964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16610777824798253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13557009247185112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17793948725506578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379707344166824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16348723362287287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12516585742359587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996997519988712,0.3702800794058104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13424561036010987,0.0,0.1624043552878524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13044026661217728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176521821020543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572116781790124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29287782766697035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450760602621174 bipolarreddit,eastofmars,2019/02/03,"Does anyone else see and hear words differently when Manic? This is really hard for me to describe but I will try. When I get Manic language takes on a whole new meaning. I get words all mixed up. Each and every word suddenly take on 2 or 3 different meanings. Obviously many words in the English language that look and sound the same have different meanings. But when I'm manic my brain takes it to a whole different level. My world gets turned upside down. It is extremely hard to talk to people when this happens because a simple conversation turns into some grand puzzle I try to solve. &#x200B; Does anyone else have this happen? Is there a scientific term for it?",4.012493333333332,6.618657016000004,4.7093000000000025,79.85248333333334,74.84,7.366666666666666,25.61666666666667,8.344100000000001,1.9793866666666664,537,19,92,10,12,172,81,125,0.028,0.916,0.056,0.6546,4,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,6,0,6,1,1,0,2,20,23,10,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,7,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,7,1,13,22,7,15,0,0,2,0,3,8,0,3,7,56,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255547772101882,0.13744197251425408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15817936801596266,0.23179071210347396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895127873323018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12626903315299698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4727067429197974,0.0,0.0,0.19796800331432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18897907731943467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953007065718363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17728713477163596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20004696999056185,0.0,0.20265007479854336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748406434211526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498456352929696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467657266047812,0.0,0.369632381406208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924309156969188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841676958024163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724616589890225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901346433690059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551356785242334,0.0909141565820964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15358958321044128,0.2460640857800922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25256828228527184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13744197251425408,0.0 bipolarreddit,throwemawayplz,2019/02/04,Hello? Is there anybody in there?,0.4800000000000004,-0.1838763333333322,1.313333333333336,90.99000000000002,145.66666666666666,1.2000000000000002,19.666666666666668,3.1291,-0.3917333333333333,26,1,4,0,2,8,5,6,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,les_incompetents,2019/02/04,"Anyone get thyroid issues from Lithium or other meds? I’ve been on lithium for maybe five years, and recently found out I have a bunch of tiny nodules on my thyroid, even though my thyroid-function bloodwork has always been normal. I don’t know yet if it’s related to the meds, but I’ve definitely felt like something’s been up over the last few months- way more tired than usual, super-prolonged PMS cravings/binges, etc. Has anyone experienced the same? If so, did your pdoc switch you to another med or add something to your regimen to mitigate the issue? ",9.166,7.8776421714285725,8.670476190476194,70.30285714285716,60.61904761904761,11.066666666666668,40.04761904761904,9.888512548439397,4.029819047619048,448,20,76,7,5,143,80,105,0.042,0.887,0.07200000000000001,0.4679,0,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,3,0,0,4,1,0,0,5,0,8,4,0,0,0,13,12,8,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,2,7,1,13,6,5,12,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,4,7,51,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14067175255103712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17727451536115468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364218521274012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885469769344313,0.11166276530701734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232444613628147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18536594531511816,0.0,0.0,0.08832705404167197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35291015979051293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291114586681118,0.1378067476795851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259434639016422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16984384266779493,0.0,0.5633638035932276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13494235672190208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16564324597973618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669266979068611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603018306282753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661009333936875,0.0,0.0,0.1943100000686143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186196088487746,0.0,0.0,0.13419223500971586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886932115241986 bipolarreddit,whatsausernamefor,2019/02/04,"What do you know about long term care mental institutions? In the last year, I’ve been hospitalized multiple times for suicidal thoughts and attempts(this led to the psych ward for a few days). I’ve seen 3 different psychiatrists and therapists. I’ve tried what feels like 2 dozen medications. I’ve been through insane weight fluctuations. I’ve been having a real bad time and I’m exhausted. A few days ago, because of my stupid(really stupid, I don’t blame her) actions during mood swings, I lost my bestfriend. Since then, I’ve been just comatose almost. I can’t function. I keep thinking of suicide. I think I need some long term care. I think on my own, I am in danger. But I’m also scared of going to one, because I don’t have money for something like that. I’m also scared of what it would be like. I’ve seen “Girl, Interrupted”. I’m worried about the shame and worry it’ll bring to my dad. I’m embarrassed about people seeing me as the crazy person. I’m just embarrassed about being 24 and wasting my best years because I can’t control my emotions. I’m sorry if this is rambling, I’m just having a lot of racing thoughts right now. 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I'm taking 400 mg Seroquel and I'm not drinking nearly enough water to account for going to the bathroom every 10-30 minutes.,3.8186363636363647,6.983099878787883,4.791136363636369,75.40670454545456,80.51515151515152,4.512121212121213,32.49242424242424,5.985473137389443,2.352278787878788,148,8,19,1,4,48,30,33,0.097,0.903,0.0,-0.481,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,5,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,10,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2545832462151287,0.3730577044906622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186214331403884,0.0,0.0,0.3566738663562374,0.0,0.0,0.3041541230956641,0.0,0.0,0.376206808477732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067652064864128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069232186681834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3483891360963666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737536510132137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,godisawayonbusiness,2019/02/04,"Kind of embarrassing but question on lithium (Also something positive!) I've been on lithium for about 7mo give or take, 2mo ago it was upped to a once a day 1200mg dose at night with 20mg of zyprexa. Now my problem is, and yes this is quite TMI embarrassing, I've had diarrhea for a solid month now. Every damn time I go to the restroom it's fucking horrible. Does anyone else have a problem like this? I set an appointment with my Psych to discuss this issue but my stupid clinic doesn't make appointments more than 3 days ahead and he is booked. Very frustrating. But I can't stand this bathroom thing, however I will not stop the lithium because it has saved me. Any feedback appreciated! ",4.637238805970148,6.168786305970151,5.2225671641791065,81.48623880597016,70.26865671641791,8.345074626865673,31.310447761194034,8.841846274778883,2.570181492537313,551,24,105,10,10,177,98,134,0.215,0.662,0.123,-0.9462,1,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,4,11,4,2,7,1,11,3,0,1,0,15,16,7,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,8,4,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,8,0,0,3,0,8,3,16,12,1,17,0,0,0,1,4,4,2,2,11,61,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17868399580719532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611993830845801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707785142523704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140945864258373,0.20653731680854207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12287819447849065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599982827678315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17639956255120118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16838997217923932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16983555593477348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18635275660477385,0.0,0.19336902183815846,0.11455966692194013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21039183573619155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209909250082924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847931931895984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13455281800084432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16089517040904527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18916439842741856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146707009687787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857599320878823,0.0,0.0,0.22581003232407426,0.2143997296426299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15518221414731362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16852565108905188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155924637451476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13391741363844506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11753995132391253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16632041177916554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,brokenteef,2019/02/04,"Reducing Lamotrigine While Manic? I've been manic since mid December. It's getting stronger and stronger. So I finally got to see psychiatrist today and told him all about the mania, the hyposexuality, the non stop, rapid thoughts, the fact that I'm sleeping between 3 and 5 hrs a night...all the good stuff. I went of lithium because it was making me super flat and lifeless. He wants me to reduce my lamotrigine. He said it might be what's making me go up and down (in the last week I've been quite depressed in the morning but it's gone by lunch time). Does this sound normal? I was really surprised that he wants to reduce the only mood stabiliser that I'm still on. Is it going to make the mania worse? Is it going to make me more susceptible to depression? Looking for personal experience and opinion, I know this isn't the place for med advice. 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I just sliced my leg. About a 4"" wide 1/4"" deep. I don't know why I did it. I'm scared about what's happening to me. I'm ruining my life. ",-3.907499999999999,-2.602476749999996,-0.13888888888888928,106.745,108.16666666666669,4.622222222222223,11.555555555555555,6.42735559955562,-1.1645777777777782,111,2,34,2,6,40,28,36,0.279,0.721,0.0,-0.8519,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,1,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,2,7,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,7,0,4,6,0,3,0,1,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,17,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4482212542149138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4287371372709726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664521069443985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3424526182122785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4854034504987892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4374873068135995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,kam2516,2019/02/05,"Finally went to go see a doctor I finally went to go see a psychiatrist on Monday and got told all my symptoms do match bipolar and its not all in my head. I got referred to a therapist so the next step is meeting with a therapist a couple times then going back to my psychiatrist for meds to help. While this is great and all, but I'm afraid of what'll happen between getting my meds. Just this last day I've been having horrible mood swings, getting so angry and cold. I've been having more and more thoughts about hurting myself and others. The hurting others bit is what's scaring me the most. Im not a violent person but I'm afraid I'm going to snap and really hurt someone. Does anyone have any tips to control anger and moods swings in general? ",5.642928623988228,5.7604226821192075,6.50432671081678,78.3128403237675,67.21192052980132,9.360117733627668,31.34731420161884,9.150863307647796,2.6109729212656374,599,22,115,10,9,199,91,151,0.195,0.7509999999999999,0.054000000000000006,-0.9807,0,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,0,1,5,11,2,3,9,0,9,4,1,1,3,22,27,14,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,6,9,0,1,2,0,0,7,2,8,0,0,8,3,8,1,15,19,7,20,0,3,2,0,4,3,0,1,10,71,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778998736816399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026721322361962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09926717252530352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409398467137853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14479260384939568,0.0,0.14284272491893166,0.0,0.0832565061481915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13213564842226702,0.11297314049721455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2828376193044818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348950944906282,0.0,0.2934738648851216,0.0,0.2065003884301969,0.14232925047252593,0.0,0.0,0.11415953117890056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13249016348589704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865306040272373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4146011386781381,0.0,0.13944627849770952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10523080641245793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867940230500397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729549920361211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272200786743845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270246751572849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12924802991008394,0.0,0.20574625310183065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938297133214037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341806026652987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997817699107767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248813127323728,0.07527715626334305,0.0,0.0,0.12335715439774933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23934733539884465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Lardpoontang,2019/02/05,"How do you guys manage a job? Im 20/f, and i got dignosed with various mood disorders when i was 16. I’m falling into some kind of weird mixed state. Super high highs but just as bad lows. The lows don’t last as long but they’re just as severe. The highs are so high they are unbearable. I work at UPS. I’m a supervisor. I can’t file for FMLA because I haven’t been there a year yet, but many of my higher ups know my situation. I can’t just call off, i have employees to look after. I can’t just not show up, either. I’m stuck. I need time to sleep and see my new doctor next week. I’m between doctor and medications, and I’m doing all I can to help myself right now. I just can’t control these emotions, these feelings, these things I thought I understood but suddenly lose grasp on when a trigger comes around. 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I don’t want a therapist telling me what to think or meds making me feel ways I’m not supposed to feel . I just want to have control over my body and i feel like everyone is telling me what do with it . Honestly I feel like everyone around me is so stupid. They don’t know anything about me . Like I don’t need that stuff I’m fine on my own . I feel like everyone is trying to control me or mess me up. I feel like I can’t do this anymore I feel like everything around me is going so slow and I’m really confused about my life rn ",-0.13704318936877158,1.818343186046512,2.18186600221484,95.83133720930236,86.13178294573645,6.166334440753047,21.617386489479518,7.447530270364453,0.6605898117386491,457,16,111,8,14,155,60,129,0.084,0.733,0.183,0.8334,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,1,2,7,11,1,1,1,0,14,2,1,3,0,27,32,7,0,4,5,0,7,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,5,0,2,9,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,0,7,22,8,14,32,1,8,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,4,7,68,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22741250920146955,0.0,0.0,0.09435071767112453,0.2041332658124041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273550775719864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571890878196198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32867128401717977,0.10304388964984128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4058086045792267,0.4095452652493264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516067948402479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06301100344235247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08098372106143377,0.3360857901055252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653263389286448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547101551439728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501470882403475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345047887572305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13125173984813718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004258192322224,0.0,0.13111718142332848,0.13312247638784624,0.0,0.07346584430652242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07784274190326408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028782257847248,0.09100724464484944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,rustygrape,2019/02/05,"Should I get my own apartment? (currently living with parents) Hi guys, I am currently apartment hunting with the approval of my step-father who has agreed to help pay for an apartment of my own while I wait for disability benefits. I think it would be very helpful and therapeutic for me if I created my own space that I deemed to be sacred and worth my time. One of the fears that I have is that I would feel alone in this apartment, and fall into depression and anxiety. Maybe my meds will help with that. Also I have anxiety about needing to go out and get groceries on a weekly basis. But maybe this would be good for me and I would be able to hit up the natural food stores. I also would choose not to bring my cat with me (who is very therapeutic and supportive) because she is happy here at this home. But I won't have her around. Maybe I could get a small fish aquarium. Also I would have space for some small fitness equipment, like a kettle bell and barbell. Well I hope that if I do get an apartment it will be a good decision. I just don't want to be alone and depressed. But I am sure that is normal for many of us who live alone. We just have to make sure we have a solid routine of having activities to do outside the house and around people. 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I don't have much experience with depression, but I believe I'm in an episode right now. Not severe, but my motivation to do anything is relatively low. For the past two weeks, I've just been coming to work to surf the net. Maybe put in 30min of work per day. I'm not getting into trouble because my project deadlines are over a month away, but I'd still like to correct my behavior and I'm hoping some of y'all might have some tips/tricks to staying productive while depressed.",5.0650137362637375,6.0098336057692325,5.408131868131868,82.75115384615384,68.71153846153845,8.250549450549451,33.12637362637363,8.418075326091056,2.4852681318681333,421,19,83,6,7,134,76,104,0.103,0.74,0.156,0.7107,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,4,4,7,0,0,4,0,9,0,0,2,1,17,15,7,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,5,0,1,1,0,7,2,15,13,3,20,0,4,0,0,2,8,0,4,9,51,7,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448405805183173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653664439750844,0.0,0.0,0.10729357901301448,0.0,0.0,0.1983021036713712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15161634702922494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11351137772569375,0.0,0.45478941659779293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217077810001133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919575462175544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17481685677045775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598920803923657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682490581563093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867179542692049,0.0,0.0,0.14048886991187973,0.0,0.12938701912546927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16802070407027106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17693786724304744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15031090119800447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19884030503711408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3752047920781393,0.14056118018088204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17193542023589256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118396925450602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38441039716832204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ohnono27,2019/02/05,"So i'm medicated since +- a month now. Hello, After 3 years refusing to take a single pill, i accepted it. I take valproic acids. I have 0 side effects, 3 pills/day. So all goods ! On the psy level, i feel more serene and the depression disapeared. I feel like i can see more clearly the things about my life. I dont feel this hole inside me anymore. I dont feel this deep sadness, its really weird to be free from this. But there is a second effect. My cynism level is rising sky rocket ! I always been a cynic person with a touch of misanthropism. But now this is a new level of this. I dont see my friends anymore. I dont answer them when they call. To be honnest, i just dont see the point. Before, when i felt lonely and depressed, i needed them to keep my mind busy and dont let the negavity take the control. Now ? Whats the point ? I evolve in a particular social environment. Wealthy artist people... And now i realize that i dont really like them. Also, the sadness disappeared but i feel 100% lost in life. In a world where wealth, fame, possession seems to be everything i give absolutely no value to this. To be honnest i dont even know what is valuable. Yes well, virtue, honor, compassion, heart are valuable values to me but its just an utopia in this world. I just feel like there is no point to even try to exist in this world. I'm not interested in making a family, not interested in money. As soon as it comes to money i lose all interest in something. The egyptians were buried with their possessions and we are the witness of what it becomes. So whats the point ? Thats my major problem. I thought it was depression. But i think its just myself. I just feel like the modern society is wrong about everything. Like if we missed the purpose of our existence. I remember when i was a kid i watched on tv a report about a temple in Thailand for drugs addicts reability called Tham Krabok. And there was that man, an ex us soldier of fortune who went there to overcome a alcohol addiction. After his rehab he stayed there and became a monk. He died recently after dedicating 30 years of his life to this temple. That is a great life. That is what life should be about. In my opinion ofc. So, all that to say that yes i'm bipolar. Never experienced high psychotic episode. My episode are soft. Just compulsive needs to buy thing to overcome emptyness. Sexual urge and needs. Planing big things but i still quite about it, i never talk about that to people as i remember that its not normal. But the reality will still disappoint me. Without or with medication.... My shrink told me this morning that i would have been an hermit if i was born earlyer. He's so right about it hehe. ",2.0332060150375924,4.528666175238094,3.5556290726817035,85.97545864661656,81.53333333333333,6.8842105263157904,23.30576441102757,8.032893268588372,1.4749809523809525,2102,74,412,42,57,692,251,525,0.111,0.746,0.14300000000000002,0.9709,0,2,3,0,0,1,81.0,4,0,5,7,38,32,1,0,32,2,38,15,1,4,6,72,70,30,1,9,20,1,10,5,1,3,14,1,0,3,39,14,1,3,19,2,5,4,16,14,1,1,12,17,57,19,54,49,7,56,1,10,4,0,29,29,0,5,27,283,96,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924358098359724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825178564703965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05107246066449536,0.05314042491120147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667295306353174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053338217768719,0.054344031505529286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130425699994069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05501365821386514,0.0,0.0,0.0716295276900641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04118735387011113,0.0,0.16501934002651725,0.0,0.06628132401510374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5987902520752211,0.0,0.07406260684728308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843638710340489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479468603492055,0.0,0.060205817598662274,0.0,0.2260428614993248,0.1368745501586093,0.061319987024600675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04934159590508982,0.0,0.0,0.06126469948324504,0.0,0.053566557761609464,0.0,0.07041089611477704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567980384406355,0.0,0.0674764075819205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056765749887861774,0.0,0.0,0.03509828861027128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06530583329857532,0.22554711552469994,0.15600497551361195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144809987190452,0.06971570478427694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042630085631527925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12867363828525386,0.0,0.0,0.06448499368134439,0.0,0.05097607760391788,0.0,0.0,0.14206427243238715,0.09851256215478688,0.06168078410287527,0.0,0.0,0.06257370307404299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855128072676609,0.055764065077651435,0.0,0.0,0.2414905850601277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06110975296710481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679278142950852,0.0,0.0,0.08182653712224439,0.0,0.06305854227966655,0.0,0.1446921797914236,0.05453998006383271,0.0,0.050787656581158885,0.0,0.0,0.1526753426129441,0.05813989126778221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0528294189279229,0.0,0.0,0.0651018700281102,0.0,0.049166053716902254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807111698718192,0.10200463045212428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14405458942869992,0.05133190926272777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272863154212906,0.04092182738887218,0.0,0.050701322041111385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06102531808801349,0.0,0.043359839905346184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682119488295515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05742190376302843,0.059203081278678724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06156315092874628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045367546713040136,0.06982586404254439,0.0,0.08225335763460626 bipolarreddit,axelwetzel,2019/02/05,"I feel very vanilla It feels like I missed a manic episode and went straight to dissociation after the holiday blues. &#x200B; Work is boring and long and stressful, which makes my free time essentially the same since I feel a responsibility to make the good times count, or whatever. &#x200B; I don't know, I just feel like I am in a rut that grows more like a valley with each passing day. &#x200B; I didn't really have any intentions with this post, I just felt the need to say my peace.",6.295567375886524,7.143633946808514,6.0859574468085125,79.33333333333334,65.91489361702128,9.245390070921985,30.56028368794326,9.2995712137729,2.4385092198581564,397,14,77,7,6,124,67,94,0.079,0.7,0.221,0.9186,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,2,8,0,1,8,0,5,0,0,3,0,20,16,4,0,1,3,0,5,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,0,6,1,1,3,2,3,0,0,3,7,10,6,7,13,3,11,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,1,8,43,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4241487314491248,0.4756689735442836,0.0887358231919585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415349894246868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26391315251243563,0.18644027401142232,0.12528824938597596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10944653730752343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717123950900455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912484776269873,0.0,0.0,0.11547713425251198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17420254175219022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675466275080076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249707416786291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359349118297807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103768720318169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794042423561498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947273532476382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152176361538008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076656695403427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209630133921185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499629200094396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4756689735442836,0.0 bipolarreddit,ShahIAm,2019/02/05,"I miss my bestfriend so much[venting] The only person who had kept me under some sort of control for the past year and a half, my former bestfriend, cut complete ties with me a few days ago. Told me to never contact her again. Now I feel like I'm in hell. I have a family. I have a handful of friends. But I can't build a real, trusting relationship with them. I’ve tried so hard. I have some really bad trust and attachment issues because of my dad leaving when I was 5. And then when I was 12, my mom also left(but thankfully my dad took me in and raised me from then on). This has left me in a way that I can only do one of two things. Either not get attached at all, or get extremely attached. But because of the extreme attachment leading to hurt in previous relationships, I had purposefully put space between me and others. She was the first person in a long time who I really opened up to and let in. I thought she was doing the same to me. We were so insanely close. Then I did one dumbass thing, which I didn't realize was a dumbass thing, and she just turned cold on me. It's like, all the stuff she told me about how much she needed me, how much she loved me and how she would be devastated with me, just disappeared. I've spent the last several weeks trying to fix things, with her warming up a bit, then turning cold, then warming up, then turning cold. I can't put all the blame on her for this. Me going from begging and pleading for forgiveness, to yelling and screaming at her for abandoning me, and then back to the other one, made the situation way worse. But I was at such a low point, I was actually planning my suicide and I was just desperate to have her back. It was so painful and anger inducing that this person, who I gave everything to, didn't even care about it. I put her in front of me. I have suffered, so that I could make sure she didn't. I'm not an innocent angel in all of this. I'm clingy, I'm needy, I'm unstable and high maintenance. I also have extreme mood swings. But I also loved her. Fully and completely. I thought she knew this. I was willing to do anything it took to make her want to stay. I tried everything I knew. But it all failed. After one too many fights, things are at a definite end. There is no going back. Now I'm feeling so isolated and alone. The only person I could talk to, hates me. It feels like no one else is even trying to understand me. To them, ""she's just some girl. Just move on."" They don't know her like I do. She's amazing, in every way. The day after I attempted suicide last March 25th, I was in the emergency room, alone. I was so scared and I had no one to talk to. She called and texted me as much as she could(she works as a waitress). Kept telling me that things will be okay and that she would be there for me. That’s what made her so special. When everyone else was freaked out and pushed away, she would run forward and try to help me. And I lost that. All I can think about is that it took me 23 years to meet this one person who I got along with on such a deep level. Is it going to take another 23 to meet the next? And even if I do, they will never be able to replace her. It was nice to be in a relationship(whether it be friends, romantic, or familial) where I felt like I could just fully and completely be myself. I just miss her so much. The depression and stress I'm feeling from this is making my bipolar disorder spin out of control as well, which is just fucking annoying as well. When I met her, I was at a point where all I could think about was killing myself. I felt there was no hope. Nothing would get better. Now, without her, I'm basically back in that headspace and it sucks. I just feel so hopeless and empty. It hurts to breathe. Every morning, I wake up and I feel ok for about a minute. Then reality comes crashing in and I just cry till I can’t. I do go to a psychiatrist, who is also a therapist. This is my 5th Psych and 3th Therapist in the last 2.5 years. They've tried over 2 dozen meds and a stupid amount of hours of therapy. Nothing has worked so far. I'm basically giving up at this point. I even told my psych that a few days ago. All this time and nothing has changed. Why should I believe it will now? I think any day now, I'll just end it all. I can’t go on without her.",1.782348765432097,3.672258888636364,3.195900673400672,91.49988496071829,78.86363636363636,6.663860830527497,23.47783389450057,7.662118739084242,0.9602779180695852,3322,111,737,51,81,1085,332,880,0.16399999999999998,0.7490000000000001,0.087,-0.9971,0,3,0,0,2,4,125.0,1,0,4,11,63,54,10,2,37,2,77,8,3,12,12,132,147,76,3,13,24,3,12,5,2,9,2,2,1,6,51,44,0,5,20,0,1,19,18,27,2,11,46,17,124,26,102,80,22,125,2,11,0,3,71,52,3,8,57,535,175,6,0.04898637334177152,0.0,0.04780363401226129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684692859768829,0.0,0.0,0.10147021852971044,0.0,0.15669754025250182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03331241368672341,0.05136648364942183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0403116113507657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04602431028739719,0.15066998940580495,0.04090157557819777,0.05972327702812993,0.0,0.0,0.05519086781227457,0.0,0.043324466385392106,0.05348043232975341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05002056418682861,0.0,0.04994487239257739,0.0,0.05182108763428697,0.042197423084009186,0.15408384133227834,0.0,0.10988476619733688,0.1955581652796372,0.0,0.0538092308930525,0.12636863305555296,0.0,0.04219189157883179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05614262783002638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184365826583011,0.0,0.08677477370976346,0.0,0.0,0.12942015036299967,0.0,0.0825462646108008,0.04680857899297335,0.08805158739999401,0.0,0.09235998622208133,0.0,0.14861389342458314,0.06999174980660355,0.09406920099455912,0.0,0.0,0.041667784139810427,0.0,0.0,0.07569350105579926,0.04528711279856398,0.07678007469923097,0.04699219299613159,0.13920042430772706,0.0,0.039178877751783296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0438821686099195,0.04836390199480168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0328345334625564,0.05175679297410784,0.0,0.0486545218368684,0.04824171018817025,0.0,0.10488185164527657,0.0,0.0,0.051129046709458614,0.0,0.0,0.05419616416764077,0.0,0.026921629684299123,0.11979129719309645,0.0,0.051869496295000615,0.10644767593605743,0.05009188567029756,0.0,0.1196613380874798,0.0,0.0,0.04335139889619672,0.0,0.0,0.053474413189279375,0.0,0.08842422899331248,0.09270418179388036,0.09809635377316636,0.049664493853233536,0.0,0.0,0.054412817595342236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05737224840661701,0.0,0.05206476240651497,0.1800531042527956,0.03632277512884078,0.07556262207059716,0.0,0.052097563787262935,0.0,0.0,0.14101123917367436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23236104047583736,0.111769033010824,0.05212495503176702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04676303627840135,0.0,0.2138650585476632,0.0,0.0,0.13892386980937285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477345060067556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05575721734489213,0.06276385026103391,0.0,0.0,0.15777909699183473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04904390545703712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534065845938908,0.0,0.0,0.055062736084736975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052212956137958864,0.0,0.0,0.05611372515532022,0.0,0.05607767758918894,0.10716628325155067,0.0,0.04616907714470416,0.0,0.03683165632362946,0.07874678264254663,0.04281624946251389,0.04510007104628173,0.05602018712108497,0.1137539101483844,0.1952662185727233,0.09416547016303466,0.0,0.07777941720473214,0.057128696467132214,0.0,0.0,0.14042573697892008,0.16327698967540866,0.1995511916943924,0.15984932221389908,0.04785256875647047,0.050996542246027864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02889343219014592,0.11664930909211277,0.039293913882279284,0.0,0.08808926532237353,0.0,0.04420258259798565,0.0,0.0,0.09444223163731702,0.0,0.07132532643540067,0.0,0.04992129945822135,0.1391940565371251,0.0,0.0,0.09463685505228853 bipolarreddit,NixonGottaRawDeal,2019/02/05,"what do u guys do on nights you can’t sleep but are trying not to let anyone know your awake? i live in a one bedroom apartment with my father. in the past when he finds out i couldn’t sleep he jumps to conclusions that i’m not ok, or manic, etc. i want to keep his sleeping function cause he’s a human and deserves it, also busts his ass at work all day everyday. So my question is, any ideas of time killers at like 3-6am that are quite? BTW: i live with bipolar rapid cycling thanks in advance",3.525206043956046,4.087574625000002,4.160054945054945,91.69923076923077,71.98076923076924,6.712087912087912,26.395604395604394,6.18269132825596,0.7422873626373625,387,12,87,2,7,123,82,104,0.124,0.797,0.079,-0.7809,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,4,3,3,0,0,3,1,8,5,4,1,1,18,13,6,0,2,4,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,4,4,0,1,5,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,10,3,13,11,2,16,0,0,0,1,11,8,1,2,7,49,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483263038974653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12613107233445878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296901929463906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19053650281665174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961765474749347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068564610085888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16952309097377247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18365190326169165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20938154108783733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16486093991331455,0.0,0.0,0.10193359307449933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189663328339604,0.0,0.0906149463193376,0.0,0.3275600924782375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740580857744638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568436619275986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177059277867959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20777726835358468,0.1972781709581439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5568344020500915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707627786123147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10815343214444126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592705945763868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939944549915716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13502984191577627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,porcupineprickles,2019/02/05,Risperdone/risperdal withdrawals I took my last dose of risperdone two days ago and I'm pretty sure I'm experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Especially because my dr tapered me off in the course of 3 days. What are your experiences with risperdone withdrawals and how long did they last?,6.058775510204079,9.379371204081636,5.089142857142857,76.03085714285714,71.65306122448979,7.185306122448982,36.330612244897964,8.238735603445708,3.381723265306123,235,13,36,4,5,70,38,49,0.0,0.861,0.139,0.6808,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,1,1,5,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,6,1,5,3,0,9,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,19,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25161917967467323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17303458183207773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36612430974207655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776633873740503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4627573044295967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512015935195872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.288781261727456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675287544433987,0.2950326815550346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3153719067578708,0.0,0.0,0.2772838208615589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,peakyshelbys,2019/02/06,"scared of mania/mood shift. help/advice? technically, my “unclassified mood disorder” isn’t bipolar but i take mood stabilizers along with my prozac and xanax. but regardless, i feel like i’m losing my mind or i’m about to crawl out of my skin. in december i was extremely depressed, and very suicidal. my parents knew this, i’m in college and living at home, trying to get this mental health thing sorted. anyway, i went from wanting to die every night to feeling like i’m buzzing out of my skin in like a month? is this mania? i developed a rash on my face due to stress cause school started up, i can’t sleep, im creatively inspired (writing poetry, enjoying my english classes, having fun writing essays) but cannot focus in math. online algebra takes twice as long bc of videos and i feel like i can’t catch up as i’m writing this i feel like i’m about to throw up because i just keep seeing all these clues that something hasn’t been right. i don’t know if i should see my psych or wait for this to pass. y’all help? i have never felt a mood shift like this before and it’s terrifying",2.930787059391598,4.870174174311927,4.148957025591503,85.75251327860941,75.60550458715595,7.1582810236600665,24.776436504104296,8.032893268588372,1.4314275229357794,862,29,172,14,19,282,132,218,0.15,0.675,0.174,0.6035,1,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,1,4,16,0,2,3,0,12,9,5,1,2,37,35,13,2,4,7,1,7,6,0,1,4,0,1,0,10,9,0,2,8,1,0,4,7,4,0,1,5,9,23,9,30,29,1,22,0,2,2,0,6,12,0,4,12,94,33,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279471321088683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07981611535839754,0.0,0.111415140343286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450522517436736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277321182020505,0.0,0.1358887593116868,0.0,0.15006164036492356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11031749271690608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26481653947310313,0.3741569354319736,0.12571711687417292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840758025310356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13917665690154593,0.0,0.0,0.1755245218277084,0.0,0.13133741886906647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414311250286633,0.0,0.0,0.11638010311775435,0.0,0.0,0.0719578699442763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38380626007103996,0.0,0.11561706902776077,0.11587241783859265,0.0,0.14648158875882106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13195061688308735,0.0,0.1322059556864472,0.0,0.10451022279811684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098432738593864,0.0,0.0,0.12287263424290977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14538664687523808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181687049687644,0.0,0.0,0.1310877168960931,0.1325121388696411,0.208674798353274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13102850027054622,0.0,0.0,0.10079934490021876,0.0,0.0,0.09267571759658212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14998438742994388,0.0,0.0,0.1432204803917189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19689205792127065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698669264167452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889555144294048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803421412043784,0.07722823098613668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137707539691507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,obliviously_willful,2019/02/06,"I can't trust my memories I had a pretty extended hypomanic episode in Nov-Dec, and a few weeks into the episode I had a long-awaited pdoc appointment at a specialized mood disorder clinic. I came out of the appointment very upset because the doctor didn't seem to want to help me, didn't seem to get what I was saying, wanted me to stop taking the meds that had pulled me out of a year-long suicidal depression. I hadn't slept more than an hour the night before, so the appointment is a bit of a blur, but I felt betrayed by the system and cried for hours. I saw the pdoc for a second time today and my impression of her was completely different. Apparently she is not a psycho monster bitch. She clearly wants to help me and has a reasonable approach, even if it's not what I would have chosen. I also realized that I have gaps in my memory from that time - like I know one of my friends was concerned enough about my state of mind to call my mother - but, for example, I completely don't remember one of my friends coming over and visiting me for several hours. Granted, I was drinking a lot over that period, but not enough to completely forget events. It makes me wonder what else I'm not remembering. I'm diagnosed BPII but I know that over about 6 weeks I spent way too much money, hardly slept (or sometimes even didn't) for days at a time, and drove so recklessly that I could have been arrested if I had been caught. I just didn't go to work a few times. Also had a few panic attacks. I had some pretty big ideas but I wasn't psychotic, so manic vs. hypomanic? Don't really know, don't really care too much, but I normally consider myself a very grounded and rational person so feeling like I can't trust my memory freaks me the fuck out. I guess this is more of a vent than anything. It's the first hypomanic episode I've had that can compete with (milder) depressive episodes in terms of negative impact on my life. I don't really know how to come to terms with the fact that I can't trust my memory from that time. Especially because according to friends I seemed pretty lucid, but my judgement was obviously impaired. Anyway, bipolar sucks.",5.7005019094380796,6.094601498817968,6.5999172576832175,76.72173076923079,67.10874704491727,10.668448808874343,31.162847790507364,10.560738912317856,3.2463501363884344,1706,63,329,44,26,568,205,423,0.152,0.7340000000000001,0.114,-0.938,2,0,1,0,0,0,46.0,0,0,0,3,15,21,4,2,28,0,37,9,2,3,3,65,69,24,1,8,16,1,3,2,3,1,5,1,0,1,16,16,1,1,15,1,2,9,18,9,0,4,28,5,49,11,47,39,14,46,0,2,1,1,13,15,3,11,21,227,65,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13589235382121598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991864382752028,0.0,0.0,0.0966595225541109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358728899242632,0.0,0.0722986347371605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275936075263842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675837790255078,0.09717689186784408,0.08662709395170924,0.0,0.0,0.14637899583708802,0.2672513665590071,0.0,0.0,0.06783733642783585,0.0,0.0933296468034309,0.05479515175355293,0.0,0.14635980755225547,0.08623730206972406,0.0,0.08876994540041594,0.09737681693327004,0.08696489010077821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323298244833499,0.0,0.0,0.07097703862588424,0.0,0.0,0.17558233243641516,0.0,0.11223666202024464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04296066540133942,0.06069874239224465,0.08157936062450483,0.0,0.0,0.07227086342451716,0.0,0.0,0.1969303668238729,0.07854842323685446,0.04439050781369111,0.0,0.04828735226247311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359810929450887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611161188072611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389998928274896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251019111312185,0.0,0.0,0.09591471545333267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18677733527187854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060013024685815874,0.0830188444204086,0.0,0.0,0.15038203223748636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07223388261660874,0.0,0.0,0.05671454444034246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437654029744703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579004676385232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491754553544007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797335413746233,0.0832472891202684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11514845251094848,0.0,0.0,0.09968767637753548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418783003057408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593186954084393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632915360338861,0.0873577814747861,0.0,0.0,0.19249670600899976,0.0,0.0,0.06756727704207874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23204580039299794,0.0,0.09598583778589084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840321829483903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103422782247269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09293750532304136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388282119664185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477177695688951,0.0,0.08053652628531671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14020942147976942,0.15034300489844218,0.06744096156456285,0.13630698834727453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921405073892043,0.06185525618816118,0.0,0.0,0.06035642917646675,0.0,0.0,0.05471443040552085 bipolarreddit,RedLeader75,2019/02/06,"Can't sleep Death Death Like how is it to actually pass away I'll always be alone I'm not from this world Death I don't connect If a electrical wire never has electricity is it just a wire I shouldn't have been born I've always been a mistake I'm hungry Death I wonder what I should eat tomorrow All running in my mind tonight. But I'm not down. Does this happen to others? I never know if I'm just odd or off. I'm really tired of depression in my life. But I'll always be this way. Which tends to mean I'll be alone. And odd. And never sleeping enough.",-1.1198552631578949,0.9270007250000064,1.4264912280701765,96.08447368421056,100.08333333333334,4.526315789473684,14.649122807017546,6.339386263674448,-0.4956666666666663,437,10,100,6,19,148,70,120,0.15,0.726,0.124,-0.2669,0,2,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,13,5,2,1,4,23,23,8,4,5,9,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,2,1,0,3,0,0,2,8,2,0,0,2,0,7,1,10,16,2,15,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,4,7,58,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.1701228054615047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36111058507892135,0.0,0.0,0.4351743666499959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637905767480882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15015182655940856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15255903729756054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17838507535711268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18013147439727378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541611404121613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09580826362100334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12313579014119533,0.08516976987773868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18989856716660905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602554195229253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4033665699363005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168149146604804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.348915639262436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20036889586377368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383765629812886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890555298750323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ladywithamission,2019/02/06,Ability What can you tell me about it? I was recently prescribed it for the first time and just started taking it this week... what are your experiences? ,2.423928571428572,5.3817978214285755,3.1542857142857166,84.91571428571432,88.64285714285714,7.085714285714286,24.857142857142854,8.07648339933343,2.1154000000000006,121,5,22,3,4,38,25,28,0.0,0.907,0.093,0.3939,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,4,0,2,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,19,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41828296353988653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3637233967885583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42221160368923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.302663351677211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32150822089384656,0.0,0.373748496920256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493418352102269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3430015808477962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,sebisrude,2019/02/06,"Nortriptyline for insomnia? Has anyone heard of taking nortiptyline to sleep? My pdoc suggested it instead of trazedone and wasn’t very clear on why, but google says it’s for depression and nerve pain and I’m confused. I plan to ask him at my next visit, but I was hoping ya’ll had some advice! Thank you!",2.527339901477834,5.364242275862072,3.1034975369458166,87.56982758620691,83.13793103448276,6.762561576354681,22.07881773399015,7.957251820313856,1.4303714285714295,244,8,45,5,7,76,47,58,0.193,0.6779999999999999,0.128,-0.7578,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,1,5,0,1,0,0,4,3,1,0,1,9,10,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,4,2,6,2,8,6,1,4,0,1,0,0,7,2,0,3,1,27,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29664616096104623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122639682374184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28379799505214953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614653395845201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015145943535219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32285130382722843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32302104878954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414119194615765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037903307490145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22824768380258426,0.0,0.0,0.2794874785210693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504779461879805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739256960760117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,LetsStayCool808,2019/02/06,"How do you know if you’re suicidal? The thought of ending it all has been crossing my mind these past few weeks. But the thought of the pain and suffering I would cause my family (my seven year old son and wife) is heart breaking. My son tells me that I look sad. My wife tells me that everything is going to be alright and I will get through this, but I feel like I won’t get through it and all won’t be alright. All I want to do is sleep and watch tv. Is become increasingly difficult to get up for work in the morning. I loved my job but I don’t enjoy work anymore (I’m a chef). I’m I suicidal or just going through another episode? I felt great a month ago. Now I’m just blah. I’m on 40mg Latuda. Maybe I need my dosage increased? HELP? I’m confused!",-0.5119461697722585,1.6681407453416168,1.5453416149068318,97.6384265010352,91.85714285714286,5.0542443064182185,20.71014492753623,6.655083550727371,0.2572393374741204,584,21,138,8,21,193,95,161,0.131,0.685,0.184,0.91,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,2,4,11,0,1,6,2,15,4,2,2,3,27,34,11,2,4,7,4,2,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,5,1,0,5,3,5,0,1,4,4,21,6,12,24,6,17,0,2,2,1,9,3,0,3,9,79,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13855558455197214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16390016972032345,0.0,0.0,0.15501326773235552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17262738084419205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605690247126532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384404686482075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404774971311994,0.0,0.14735111634740308,0.0,0.07903286548134653,0.11166483334365697,0.15007799749046086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449898529210441,0.0,0.17766427871442825,0.0,0.0,0.17232760154002044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852230237235916,0.10476842533995817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510930282031413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590153269045096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636307657481516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13125743319607772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107200950629786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570300986720587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578242134330297,0.0,0.1247617297056032,0.0,0.0,0.11589870642035192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16401655343688998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663203001139636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14921149041421475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15641859616032702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34194616343809464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732361670535617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481785548648692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921931598839524,0.0,0.12537901558994174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22758484283070496,0.0,0.0,0.111035094626104,0.0,0.0,0.10065575515953727 bipolarreddit,quietaway,2019/02/06,"I’ve been stable with my job and got a raise! I was a seasonal team member at a retail store, and my manager decided to keep me on and moved me on to sales lead. Around this time I felt myself coming loose and the depression was coming over me. My anxiety began to grow to the point where i felt like the ground was shaking below me all the time and the walls were creaking. I got an intense ptsd flashback where I acted out. There were some nights were i was SURE that all the cameras were watching me and people in photos or paintings were spying on me. This would be around the time work would get complicated and I would need to leave, but for the first time ever, I pushed myself through it and made it! My raise was 50¢ but it really does add up to a lot. I also got a store key, so I can close on my own now! (This is probably not a big deal but this is the first time ever for me) I’ve been working there for about 2 months now. It doesn’t seem like much, but this is the longest time I’ve kept a job in a while. I’m so happy for making it past those episodes, and I hope to keep working there until I make through my medical leave and go back to school :) ",3.645163934426229,4.043412491803282,4.478811475409838,90.11362704918035,71.62295081967213,7.575409836065574,23.85655737704917,7.413659706084162,0.7440622950819664,904,21,206,9,16,292,125,244,0.038,0.857,0.105,0.9638,2,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,7,17,7,0,1,19,0,21,1,0,4,5,47,41,20,0,5,6,0,2,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,12,18,0,3,4,1,4,9,2,2,0,2,20,3,27,5,30,17,6,49,0,1,1,0,2,20,0,5,22,147,39,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899382134398821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603541102104803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200235373619014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647863676946076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937572644893912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594646839205199,0.09686593278068392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841887235453928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034620479446624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159680582996962,0.0,0.0,0.1913253294209701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058758316479012924,0.0,0.0639164466890124,0.0,0.26984558383470925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972107522204699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117031132136054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22320830177955994,0.19992810462091806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23816837565065516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988942849335456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561371438029614,0.0,0.10641709468460564,0.15014251087980915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329664748491805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976848360581062,0.1195324880395276,0.08267470948022225,0.0833913665014117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10554077636925832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736056050724538,0.0779690647636578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631576930245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125628303178833,0.0,0.13146555720170747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07204795368184527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382057608535324,0.0,0.10238390479291004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10599692395609224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3934754473968439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24562756080074125,0.0,0.0,0.2396757105355857,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,AnonymousOlle,2019/02/07,Anyone manic rn? I am it feels good af. Not doik g any drugs or anything just chilling tho,-1.7023684210526326,-0.3670961052631547,0.5467105263157919,99.60322368421056,115.31578947368419,1.9,15.276315789473689,3.1291,-1.2971157894736842,70,2,15,0,4,23,19,19,0.058,0.789,0.153,0.4215,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,2,2,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3429193934008303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3525957678159125,0.0,0.4149694297571711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.58479054900087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549729492402644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.422955902512194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,myBisL2,2019/02/07,"My new insurance considers my meds ""preventative"" So I thought this was interesting and also maybe a little sign of attitudes towards mental health changing. I got new insurance and was looking through the list of ""preventative"" medications, the ones covered at 100% and don't cost you anything, to see if anything I was taking was on the list. (It never is, but always worth a check.) First I searched depakote. To my surprise it was listed, but as an epilepsy medication. My first thought was whether or not they knew I wouldn't be taking it for epilepsy and I would get away with getting it for free! Next I searched for Cymbalta, and it was there! Listed as an antidepressant. In fact they had nearly all your antidepressants on there. Lithium is on the list and even some anti anxiety meds. Sure enough, when I filled my prescriptions, they were free. I mean it makes good business sense. I am more expensive if I end up in the hospital. Just like quitting smoking drugs are frequently covered because you're a lower risk if you quit. For some reason it just made me feel good. Like hey, it's just an illness and we know you need meds to keep it under control. No big deal. Or something. It also made me very people for everyone under this plan because while I do not currently have any issues paying for my meds, I know what it's like to be in that position and it's horrible. It's nice to know everyone I work with who needs this kind of medication can get it and maybe this is a new trend we will start seeing with insurance companies like smoking cessation drugs. Fingers crossed.",4.247145069695404,6.518332516778525,4.758523489932887,81.36059886422305,72.8255033557047,8.074548270521424,30.25348477026329,8.841846274778883,2.6540873515746,1262,56,229,26,26,401,163,298,0.068,0.795,0.13699999999999998,0.9724,2,0,3,0,0,0,37.0,2,4,3,7,10,14,0,1,12,0,23,8,1,5,4,54,47,24,0,7,13,0,2,4,0,3,7,0,0,0,21,14,0,4,9,0,7,2,6,1,0,3,15,5,31,15,33,27,5,30,0,0,3,0,12,15,0,7,17,160,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14944424107373286,0.07774767817982772,0.0,0.0,0.06354086188876379,0.0,0.07147960924363701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537825840805633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778782501319134,0.0,0.0,0.11391754836129507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09884473107417233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479836163007923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633019887376408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167162092491248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275809677997456,0.09654615465502107,0.0,0.061714740765811335,0.0,0.0,0.17856751425893785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04724492479814119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895617424406053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464520754380877,0.0,0.0,0.15674227298746696,0.07473068999425254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931993979006107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752471634214416,0.0,0.08305174942227019,0.0,0.09730101931140614,0.1540528017282872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825958245678616,0.09364915445524302,0.0,0.0,0.07846416200117863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682608253101306,0.062370411678057375,0.0,0.18774152139421335,0.1017810823776382,0.4151530249736411,0.28238605458122856,0.09416325708527697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13856578869264802,0.07206493918593207,0.2707282314917431,0.09937208802936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331582540307301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477795847380376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19876505895835075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09606955054704627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14891554998918854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193293106220694,0.0,0.0,0.06613570764388002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08806395663705738,0.0,0.14050709201698466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14835824425307595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709591450597107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06802378174729852,0.0,0.0,0.06637548396626093,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,whatiscalm,2019/02/07,"In hospital, not voluntary, but I really don't think I need to be here. What happens if you don't respond to ANY medication? I feel stable and don't want to be a medical guiniea pig. I only came here because I needed a safe place to go, and wasn't sleeping. I knew I wasn't making sound choices due to extreme sleep deprivation (would you)? but now I am sleeping better and see no reason as to why I should have to stay. I tried Seroquel in the past and hated it. They want to try me on Abilify. Any experiences with it? So far they've just given me Atvian which helped with my overwhelming anxiety when I got here.",2.9817599999999977,4.504919055999999,4.8610000000000015,82.47550000000003,74.44,8.200000000000001,26.9,8.841846274778883,2.0669999999999997,482,18,98,10,10,165,84,125,0.14,0.7759999999999999,0.084,-0.7232,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,1,1,7,5,1,1,3,0,11,5,3,2,0,24,26,10,0,7,5,0,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,4,7,0,1,4,0,0,2,7,3,0,0,6,3,17,2,14,16,0,12,0,2,1,0,5,5,0,1,4,65,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273739703961057,0.0,0.1278909513734653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191034752582727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14785563168701368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19120745253707333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16353246849782088,0.0,0.0,0.08453037787891886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09501128754379257,0.0,0.1337077684292355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14783522951113678,0.0,0.0,0.16505397242933648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11205609881190756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159282166573274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3368291233181998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479212006226074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12714663989825162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15959061577448652,0.0,0.0,0.1746657543333629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709870774753824,0.1718871486217124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13321947030729958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5018971396340106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17818983720079296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712111220027684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270062004488915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19721220014935248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15085242398798945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187586765252912,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,sniperbullet1997,2019/02/07,"has anyone taken olanzapine/zyprexa or valproate/valproic acid for anxiety? how that work out for social situations does it make you calm/relaxed around people and confident? ",7.627738095238098,11.478358678571427,7.014285714285716,61.39738095238097,69.35714285714286,9.447619047619048,37.904761904761905,9.725611199111238,5.170176190476192,145,8,17,4,3,45,27,28,0.06,0.8140000000000001,0.126,0.4329,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,6,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,4,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,11,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025995016792675,0.0,0.0,0.2765821756885081,0.0,0.0,0.35212898710306817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.346154000740848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640369147651851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742289467078783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4446218762002707,0.0,0.4032198540777409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879697115986141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,spaceCidet,2019/02/07,"Been lurking over a year on this sub and wanted to share some good news. So I have bipolar 1 with psychotic features as per my diagnoses and I wanted to share some good news with this wonderful community. I will preface this by saying that after I got out of the hospital over a year ago (pretty long and arduous stay around 4 months) I was lost and I had no optimism about my future once I got my phone back I started googling med related things and this subreddit would always come up. I started to realize slowly that there are a large number of people with bipolar living productive and stable lives and that exhibit linear thinking. I thought I was relegated to being acutely ill for the rest of my life and that. I would have at least two major manic episodes a year that would always get me hospitalized. I will spare some of the details about these episodes because they are honestly a bit embarrassing and I imagine they could be triggering (drug usage). Anyways it has been over a year since my last manic episode and I haven't even experienced hypo-mania in the interim. Over the last year I went from living in group homes and care facilities to finally going back to college and getting A's and went back to work. I have been living in my own apartment for 5 months and have never had a period of stability this long. I think what actually worked for me was staying on medication for more than 6 months and working with a treatment team. I am actually really happy with my psychiatrist from Stanford and actually appreciate his style. He doesn't just shove pills in my face and actually takes over an hour to ask about how im doing and then during the last 5 minutes we talk about meds. He was even willing to take me off of my monthly injection and switch me to a lower dose oral dosage which seemed shocked me as the shot was the one thing that I would consistently take due to non-compliance. This made me realize that he trusted me and after that I started trusting him. My relationships are really solid now too and I have actually kept a friend instead of burning all my bridges like before. I actually got a job volunteering at one of the residential facilities I was a client at and this really helps to give me a feeling of fulfillment. I also started making music again which really helps as well. Lastly I think that staying sober (with the exception of the occasional beer with family) has been a huge factor in my stability. tl;dr Humble bragged a little, got medicated, got sober, turned life around and really appreciate that something like this community exists to know we aren't alone.",7.524938775510204,7.73185510612245,7.971734693877551,69.07862244897963,63.24489795918368,11.3265306122449,35.05102040816327,10.98876172936215,3.991183673469388,2102,86,364,53,28,695,250,490,0.033,0.831,0.13699999999999998,0.9931,2,1,3,0,0,0,32.0,2,0,2,5,22,16,0,1,28,0,37,13,1,4,2,68,73,30,0,7,2,0,1,2,1,7,11,1,1,0,25,36,1,1,11,2,0,4,5,3,1,3,23,3,52,13,68,40,10,64,0,1,0,0,22,23,0,5,36,263,77,6,0.0,0.0,0.3924775383443504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05941924265291487,0.0,0.0,0.06942425753236889,0.0,0.053604942153510665,0.11155089714947763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934421653937526,0.06266525874526098,0.0,0.0,0.154628899471304,0.0,0.04086168557786129,0.0,0.05703873726349745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318086746637112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834292334530342,0.0,0.0,0.057741568113974615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053519074367444686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680354038904088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773507882980794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854714199761007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06319118616355772,0.0,0.033893061956155324,0.0,0.0,0.07342956167271296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05178825065096113,0.0,0.07004222199722826,0.06430257381615853,0.038095457941386364,0.11244542333829356,0.26805544900571954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07135611289547916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985939480921723,0.0,0.06723790415428965,0.0,0.06601237211142512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07240535493232822,0.0,0.0665182665268003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03683867403609864,0.2185579699994443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946924422538958,0.06549625829076662,0.06718301717389953,0.2367596218298888,0.11864126144467868,0.0,0.0,0.07317263107219661,0.0,0.0,0.06342667912261822,0.04474394310642405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14891342569425067,0.13505405549722874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21401511935143716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05169870539811844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138619445861723,0.09084434793198773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04647109439429711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06819497578199038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21470997931128094,0.0,0.0,0.07196657844704459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0533060157612104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061022818710347725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05544902103382668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05160400401939367,0.0,0.0,0.18978052320035804,0.21433948399667144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15119768722327115,0.053877255782403946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906529385003951,0.12885293726535094,0.0,0.053215400232510916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291085451838282,0.06547988375450038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907364767428385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06026922904267725,0.1242774562244414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269263398132847,0.14639885188327484,0.0,0.0,0.19046857625873814,0.0,0.0,0.21582994144828227 bipolarreddit,Ihavenoidea209,2019/02/07,"Question about lithium and possible secondhand effects? Hello, I don’t know if this is the right subreddit, but I am hoping someone knows what I’m talking about because I’m super frustrated and I tried to ask my doctor but they don’t know the answer either. Basically, my partner has been on lithium the day we met, and ever since meeting them, I’ve had frequent breakouts, patches of eczema emerging and rashes all over my body. My period has also been coming late every month since meeting them and I have ALWAYS been regular and on time. And now I’m starting to have these pinkish bumps on my face (not pimples I think.. blood would come out if I squeezed them) and their acne has also been getting a lot worse too. I’ve never had such a big reaction to anything before and I’m highly suspecting it’s their medication because I don’t know what else it could possibly be.. (we tried to switch soaps and detergents etc) They said that their previous partners never complained about any skin problems or etc but they only started lithium when they met me. Are secondhand effects possible from lithium? Has anyone else’s partners experienced the same thing or am I being paranoid?",4.476506849315065,7.003364264840188,5.060408675799085,78.28513356164386,73.01826484018265,7.302374429223744,31.49794520547945,8.238735603445708,2.7500865753424653,950,45,153,16,20,304,132,219,0.081,0.865,0.054000000000000006,-0.7089,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,2,0,10,3,10,5,1,0,6,0,23,7,5,2,4,44,42,20,0,6,9,0,2,0,3,1,2,1,0,3,8,15,0,0,10,0,0,2,6,3,0,0,9,4,26,2,14,29,6,23,0,0,0,0,25,8,0,7,13,110,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993787401814693,0.10372587137620352,0.0,0.0,0.08477206550352097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08716413274012992,0.12772738095449698,0.10258333695410206,0.0,0.11653888466100765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15198134845243447,0.0,0.10607521545840487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138467508863276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21476454677813306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995296813538363,0.0,0.0,0.08039442998425836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12759327321038774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20827238832963585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780543943358818,0.0,0.11276076442485775,0.10503017608487893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06512892944332553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317085662274266,0.0,0.1238140337408612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740362408465774,0.0,0.1406202356263161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598021234854134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12558033998210474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950123804322072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19228866476101067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480841863499237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4216012390183206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928136417218142,0.0,0.0,0.13964606719831002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064576914169411,0.1185787950902516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062376250003308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562275595110253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17646787827094695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019579306296272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281757879180113,0.07987614346912436,0.0,0.0,0.07268938307182216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16926989893024652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270376775303992,0.08855383303528634,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,folie-circulaire,2019/02/07,"Rapid cycling? Need help I am a 38yo female. My pdoc says I rapid cycle. Because I was untreated for 20+ years, my bipolar cycles have gotten shorter and shorter as I've aged. Now a cycle lasts 3, maybe 4 days. I'm on Abilify and Lamictal. Have been for almost a year. I still have little baby cycles, but lately my depression is really hitting me hard. It's weird, I'm deeply depressed but have energy to get out of bed, go to class, socialize, etc. I guess that is thanks to my medication. I am really becoming discouraged and hopeless. I'm having intrusive thoughts of suicide just because I am sick of being stuck in this endless loop of misery. And now I don't even get the hypomania to look forward to. I have often thought about how easy it would be to hang myself and just be done with it all. I'm NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF but I can't get this idea that I should out of my head. I do go to therapy which I do not find helpful as of late and my next pdoc appt is next week. I'm worried that my doctor will want to commit me if I admit how awful I'm feeling. I've never been committed and if I was, I'd fail out of my classes which would just be more fucking depressing. If anyone has words if encouragement or anything to help me out I'd really, really appreciate it. I feel very alone right now. I just need some relief.",1.9728571428571442,3.8891705054945054,4.186016117216116,84.50065054945055,78.37728937728937,7.298402930402932,23.74051282051282,8.238735603445708,1.503864293040294,1040,35,211,20,25,359,152,273,0.204,0.662,0.134,-0.9777,0,1,0,0,0,4,31.0,0,0,0,1,13,12,2,0,4,1,30,6,1,2,4,51,57,19,2,10,14,0,3,0,0,4,4,1,1,0,11,12,0,1,7,0,0,5,5,9,0,0,9,5,30,3,29,39,4,28,0,6,1,1,7,9,1,9,16,138,41,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706549364520738,0.1210804157170228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174410681657218,0.0,0.0962045165822645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14253086896489853,0.12911461900197502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539535661627753,0.0,0.3020755358336027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11965928905048458,0.0,0.11963647101622335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038223060839993,0.07721598433102496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822340425205745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068508986039041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080786564516622,0.18323727884048896,0.0,0.19932286127753535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878626307319696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047257273088028,0.0,0.11998033050279645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23508093423629114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319737959459873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12934029674459765,0.0,0.0,0.09529482491571106,0.2637524220169737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11717154691567172,0.0,0.0,0.09817245326559644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744881526172755,0.0,0.0,0.11777152370877038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17337014845624885,0.09016590114366728,0.0,0.2486638847381188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2995745231151477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09983795656611427,0.0,0.09296915484585797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191719847464596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336209742561886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12787730542973733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076322773376536,0.13369336625958542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856222309528044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646053524017976,0.06895478952871552,0.0,0.09377575996098224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11872475391529495,0.0,0.1660947859880595,0.0,0.0,0.15056857625048053 bipolarreddit,throwforRz,2019/02/07,"Really needing some advice [TW for mentions of self harm/suicide] A quick preface is that I made sure to read the info and I'll be taking everything with a grain of salt and also reaching out to my physicatrist soon, but I'm not very comfortable with him so I wanted to see if anyone could help me sort of understand some semblance of what's wrong with me currently, and that all I know is that I have bipolar but I don't know what type and didn't even know there were types until the other day -- So since mid January I've been..I don't really know how to describe what it's been like. Definetly been up and down. I didn't end up creating this throwaway until I cut myself I dont even remember when, a few days ago or last week I dont know anymore. I just get so confused and disoriented whenever I try to figure out what's happening. I've just been crying and then being happy and then wanting to die and cutting myself and enjoying times with friends and sobbing because my friends hate me. Alot of crying and confusion I guess. It all started about maybe mid January ? I just remember not being able to speak up to my family (I'm 16) since it was my brothers birthday soon. Now it's my birthday in a few days. When I'm at my best, I'm drawing (all I ever do really) and watching but not listening to things. A sort of list of some stuff: crying constantly, eating constantly and feeling extremely hungry, sleeping at 9am until 6 pm, having trouble recalling events and feeling disoriented and confused alot, I was already paranoid before but it's been even heightened now, seeing larger things that aren't there than usual, feeling extremely insecure alllll the time and doubting and hating myself and feeling as if everyone I care about hates me and feeling guilty I'm like this, stopping doing everything I love (aka art) because I just can't bring myself to do anything but play cookie run and listen to videos, being tired all the time from crying and not sleeping, not being able to focus barely, thinking about wanting to die when it gets really bad, being extremely short and snappy with my family because hearing them speak to me is irritating me so bad I get so unreasonably angry I,only moving to eat and having even more extreme memory issues (it's taken me a long time just to being it back into my head everything that's been going on). I just want it to stop and I want to feel bettrr I'm so tired and stressed. I started writing this feeling sharp but now I'm just so confused and I don't know what emotiona I'm feeling right now I just want to sleep or die",6.432003543682704,6.39473460869565,7.212456044704923,74.43013833992094,65.56126482213438,9.983262913997546,33.45618100040889,9.668497473035632,3.1806323565489985,2056,81,370,38,29,686,230,506,0.234,0.653,0.113,-0.9978,1,0,0,0,0,3,44.0,0,0,1,1,38,29,5,7,12,0,34,10,4,2,6,110,87,55,3,10,23,1,9,2,2,0,3,5,0,1,26,35,2,2,20,4,0,4,14,17,0,0,12,18,45,12,52,67,13,57,0,1,3,1,15,15,1,17,40,259,71,3,0.13737988686879302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712301773656215,0.06088949034056565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580106066350434,0.05493132294749385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06812196634851866,0.04802960557006579,0.0,0.056525970684020724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05281832652388177,0.11470646717373405,0.12561825588181047,0.0,0.058450082609281036,0.0,0.07208585780166238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003397527611759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14845885260622688,0.0,0.05484333048079799,0.0,0.3018107097257093,0.13289799281384246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21386794962430186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16100820425821666,0.0,0.0,0.14057392119313072,0.0,0.0,0.0608389016275016,0.0,0.0,0.18147623923253364,0.06213398640988936,0.0,0.06563618459442265,0.18520227601714356,0.0,0.12950953084307218,0.0,0.2778535944184101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061393598092856,0.0,0.107662981114825,0.0,0.03903807781413516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566971686568562,0.0,0.06074229012701494,0.07312172207022315,0.0,0.20345129465565884,0.0704956990128514,0.0,0.07741855848359162,0.0,0.0460414211622108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169445473793712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226501179085988,0.05599147182365664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711687339796799,0.0,0.0,0.060788438392978275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06199535578398775,0.06499608533097594,0.0,0.0,0.06900828073576408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07300653917931932,0.0,0.050932722689492095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06870853190861914,0.0,0.1760181466823991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15562463121392014,0.058660836377500074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947398320051513,0.0,0.07165859172209108,0.0,0.0,0.11364206206244486,0.0,0.2062186514701585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723819101612886,0.0,0.0,0.1148557368864386,0.07868409812500783,0.0,0.07863355130740142,0.07513564928827328,0.0,0.06473945877482934,0.0,0.05164628889372988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126909242582856,0.044013742174408864,0.0,0.0,0.16021463362595634,0.1578979705579145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0466359626656484,0.0,0.0,0.07150865359617141,0.0,0.0,0.07565226825087566,0.05667639712620865,0.2430906499960449,0.0,0.055098929309556496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751016700175416,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,peachyjax,2019/02/07,"depressive swing is back i’m on lamictal, lithium, and abilify at the max doses i can possibly (personally) take for these. i find that while my mood swings are now more muted, i’m still having the swings overall and they’re disrupting my life. i go from depressed > hypo > really hypo > stable > depressed all in the span of 1.5-2 months. i’ve just hit the depressive end again, and the hopeless/suicidal thoughts are back, and i feel stuck. my psychiatrist told me to go get a second opinion because he can’t help me anymore, and that’s scheduled for late march. i truly don’t know what to do. i know i probably need a medication change, but i’m in school so a hospital trip is out of the question. unless of course my thoughts get even worse. i’m getting really tired of going through this cycle over and over. ",4.235351966873703,5.659420149068326,5.3269720496894415,80.76739389233957,71.11180124223603,8.844927536231882,29.565734989648035,9.2995712137729,2.606589648033126,648,26,125,14,12,214,106,161,0.116,0.848,0.036000000000000004,-0.9063,0,0,0,0,0,1,29.0,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,9,0,9,4,0,0,1,20,29,10,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,7,0,0,4,2,4,0,1,4,1,13,0,18,24,2,23,0,4,0,0,5,8,0,2,11,73,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14730878191009622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284315547486231,0.0,0.0905467709928227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571324410886133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5117387704955427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155968583825697,0.0,0.0,0.09810728161530477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510476564511254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576011872414406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232813341348586,0.0,0.2532509849241977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956121398663184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16326409126074304,0.0,0.1675561955709027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491606944574998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14963539146540994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856080902481987,0.0,0.0,0.11013829665997232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129696771130365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16745313916652374,0.0,0.0,0.1601479989204229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16639542411496694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19031319977759775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15032736482001852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862183281979448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624753595346034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168133151338072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23584355809126026,0.0,0.17072142038563168,0.0,0.1419334602346057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15137188361511553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,awkward_zoo,2019/02/08,"Anyone get on disability while married with a semi okay work record? I feel like I’m having a mental break. My husband and therapist see it and we’ve talked about it. I currently have a job, but I really don’t think I can keep doing what I’m doing with where I’m at mentally. I would like to quit and try to get on disability, but what are the odds with my work record? Any idea?",1.7701607142857156,3.439255837500003,3.912142857142858,87.37000000000003,78.125,7.571428571428572,20.17857142857143,8.418075326091056,0.924232142857143,297,7,66,6,7,102,53,80,0.0,0.902,0.098,0.7176,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,4,1,8,0,0,0,0,13,17,6,0,1,2,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,7,3,9,16,0,7,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,4,39,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792356973879046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16237979945098027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742187553616637,0.16590432452104809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24265996044483734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621580851887109,0.0,0.0,0.2304512830117135,0.20641565682217736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22691055470443555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4680640852234969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24700394924604166,0.0,0.0,0.1487717368213963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18505631293668853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866567390959112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696355738632377,0.0,0.14880285903954954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576681335390991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3381307121540765,0.0,0.0,0.16496869981780024,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,frogbasoon,2019/02/08,"Transitioning Treatment from Symptoms to Behaviors So I’ve been officially diagnosed with bipolar for about a year now. I had been diagnosed as all sorts of things before we settled on this. The medication has been working well now that I’m on the right things and I’ve made a couple lifestyle changes, like spending less time with my more reckless friends and not sleeping because I just could. And all of that has been going very well, and so is therapy. But this week I had a realization, about how messed up a lot of my mental relationships with things like sex and my past romantic relationships. On particular the combination of those two things and a lot of anger and shame about how I’ve handled things in the past. What I realized this week in therapy was my perspective has been all about limiting symptoms and episodes, I’ve been sleeping cause it makes me feel better. But I have been mad at myself for a long time about how I handled a breakup without changing the underlying behavior, and not thinking about how it has kept me in the same place. And that is an awesome realization. But what scares me is contending with the behavior. How I’m going to change what I’m doing not how I feel. I realize the two are connected but adding the other mode is scary. I’ve always thought that you can say I did this because of my bipolar and that explains the behavior but doesn’t excuse it. I just wanted to ask if people have gone through a similar process? And if so how did it go and how did they deal with it? Thank you ",5.956430752649545,6.843493965870304,6.090422130411357,78.86386024788936,66.67918088737201,9.717909107239088,33.85108676127178,9.811843763644266,3.2104648464163823,1224,54,233,26,19,389,141,293,0.057,0.872,0.071,0.2506,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,2,1,3,23,12,2,2,19,0,28,10,2,11,3,61,46,32,0,4,13,0,2,2,1,0,7,1,0,0,24,19,0,2,7,0,1,4,5,5,2,2,17,3,23,7,35,28,8,25,0,0,0,1,12,11,0,5,12,179,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879176920988159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976000792769564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300995849632464,0.0,0.09080286263116358,0.0,0.0,0.09437685565778348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10962118296535274,0.3386570025480663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519973251659126,0.11807325136218205,0.0,0.0,0.1100139449381073,0.0,0.21661802942717245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791217325646596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824443463403409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18193828266268686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10426681987992917,0.0,0.0,0.09443552471701892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18144307549919084,0.0,0.10097215169606738,0.07123015540649609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10749970491496516,0.10753918813920244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20373468818784773,0.07397969525713265,0.0,0.1114898668180084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291345022795182,0.0,0.09113027098732483,0.0,0.08486055370088735,0.1068359283421762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21357533409149024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22182634832009027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824478523123507,0.24406574644535264,0.0,0.3544689114219297,0.06837584492843303,0.0,0.0847162982387312,0.12444762025306283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20848150484809247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804742222662364,0.06294067779186283,0.0,0.17119361636027608,0.0,0.1918912931177605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286521227921354,0.0,0.07768658911870377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871812899533591 bipolarreddit,time4anewthrow,2019/02/08,"Evidence for high TSH/low thyroid causing rapid cycling mania? I was recently diagnosed with unipolar mania/bipolar NOS after having a ton of hypomanic episodes over the past three years (started out as 1-2 a year but over the last six months I've had at least one a month, each lasting up to 10 days). I just started lithium, so I had my bloodwork pulled, and my TSH showed up with a result of 2.78 mIU/L. My psychiatrist looked at that result and said that we need to get it below 2, and that she thought my high TSH was the reason I was rapid cycling. She wants to get me on a synthetic thyroid and I'm skeptical. 2.78 mIU/L seems to be within healthy reference ranges, though it is on the high side, and I can't find any evidence that higher TSH values cause rapid cycling for mania. [I've found evidence that taking synthetic thyroid was effective in preventing rapid cycling with people with depression](https://psycheducation.org/treatment/thyroid-and-bipolar-disorder/high-dose-thyroid-hormone-as-a-mood-stabilizer-in-bipolar-disorder/), but it doesn't mention mania. Anyone have experience with this? I'd rather not take more medication if I don't have to.",8.986057774001697,8.505737401869162,8.484188615123196,68.88583262531863,60.49532710280374,11.333220050977065,40.01529311809686,10.637119530657019,4.36350093457944,940,44,157,19,11,299,127,214,0.022,0.915,0.063,0.8594,1,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,1,0,0,1,4,1,1,0,9,0,14,5,0,6,0,33,28,11,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,9,13,0,1,7,1,0,1,4,1,0,3,9,3,14,0,28,18,4,29,0,0,1,0,5,16,0,2,12,94,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953739787925792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806520695293697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881482578798775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09044885971360088,0.0,0.0,0.14234955807888852,0.0,0.0,0.16073725087517887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719021711446022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12818484283168946,0.0,0.0,0.1537755467676335,0.0,0.0,0.14654839654114882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.592722139188828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286429466499117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177736514776681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412858895330406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238904740754572,0.0,0.0,0.10399269225593076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503620205528217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13388332866646574,0.09723084412236536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14419910281555154,0.13847874914189864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340870510837705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767722067378962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19853761471797216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21089925468267184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13779371290561093,0.11134186427835717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272236334667257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18063123038025525 bipolarreddit,pinstripe31,2019/02/08,"Trying to get back into the gym Hi guys. Recently diagnosed bipolar II here. I thought I had been struggling with MDD for the past few years and got my new diagnosis. My antidepressants made me gain weight like crazy and I’m feeling pretty bad about it. Switched to Lamictal and that’s going alright so far. My question is: those of you that struggle with BP, especially II, how do you motivate yourself to get to the gym, get a routine, and stick to it? I think it would help me improve my quality of life drastically but it never sticks when I go to the gym. ",3.724821610601431,5.599275100917431,4.8305810397553515,82.0009378185525,73.22018348623854,8.147196738022426,30.45973496432212,8.841846274778883,2.5475007135575938,442,20,86,9,9,145,78,109,0.067,0.804,0.129,0.5994,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,2,6,5,0,2,5,1,5,4,0,3,1,17,16,8,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,7,7,1,0,5,3,0,2,1,3,0,0,5,2,12,2,13,10,1,11,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,8,54,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569441709550207,0.17041917624577868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071623111012009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320163684841667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199093652838898,0.0,0.23199518657399346,0.0,0.16324143943863134,0.0,0.0,0.20209607102583085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680730059910018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14416542020337372,0.09971540889102584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931291163300968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15741838335326142,0.1971259117630078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19484134800823166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076481946259034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286443474691621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20152909568388566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4267497907966049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307822631045934,0.0,0.1620365966534149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13857391892073853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485449427582842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449903586722076,0.0,0.0,0.13143694876063258 bipolarreddit,fountainofrain,2019/02/09,Geodon and depersonalization? I've been on geodon for a few months now and I have been in a constant state of derealization and depersonalization. Am I the only one who has been experiencing this? ,4.476428571428574,7.697111428571433,6.365357142857146,65.01089285714286,77.57142857142857,8.071428571428571,23.035714285714285,8.841846274778883,1.9428571428571435,160,5,29,4,4,55,26,35,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,6,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,2,0,4,3,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,23,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.640961873619423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4734300106222159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4019196469552647,0.4511014287273793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Fyfeyy,2019/02/09,Doctors appointment I have a doctors appointment on Monday. How do I go about mentioning I feel I may be bipolar without them looking at me like an idiot ,3.5426436781609176,6.279874758620689,5.269655172413792,74.49919540229888,77.27586206896551,8.004597701149425,37.25287356321839,8.841846274778883,4.178508045977011,124,8,19,3,3,42,24,29,0.119,0.7909999999999999,0.09,-0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,2,0,4,3,0,1,0,4,7,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,6,1,4,5,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,1,2,17,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7942857851985998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19618863320251495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22051403424136928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895612354317072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258292137020737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3740261138691551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ecot0ne,2019/02/09,"My behavior isn’t registering with me. Feeling a bit messy cognitively. How do you achieve self awareness? I’ve had a weird two months now with some mixed mania stuff. I feel like I’ve been doing better recently, because I’m not really doing to any risky type things anymore and I haven’t had any fits of rage, and I feel somewhat normal I think and in my perception I feel like I seem good and stable. None of this is being validated by anyone or anything. I feel extremely confused because like when I have a conversation I feel like I’m talking normally and in my head it’s making sense but I’ve had my therapist and some others telling me I need to slow down, calm down, or I get a look and then told I make no sense. I still haven’t regained any appetite and have lost about 40 lbs since December and I have to force myself to eat to take my medication or I throw up when I take my meds. I keep not sleeping and it’s not like I don’t want to sleep because I do, it’s like the concept of sleep isn’t occurring to me until I realize (like I don’t know how it got to be 5:57am right now or what I’ve actually been doing since around 10 pm) that the sun’s about to come up. I tried to put gas in my car today and couldn’t remember my pin for my debit and it only came back to me like 3 hours later. I had another weird bit where I couldn’t recall my sister’s name for like a half hour. I wasn’t talking to her or anyone but it was like I could see her face in my head that she was my sister but it was mentally straining and very unsettling. They don’t feel like typical moments where you forget what something means. I’m on 7 meds right now to try quash the manic stuff I had going on and I think they’ve done their job in that respect, but my head is feeling very cognitively fucked up and not like I’m a drunk or in sedated way but just like everything feels sharp in my head and important but I can’t figure out what it is? I don’t know how to explain it. I guess what I’m seeing in myself isn’t what others are seeing me and i don’t know if they’re lying, because I’m usually very self aware and I can’t tell if it’s me, or the medications since I got switched from latuda to vraylar and had some sedatives added on. And then it’s confusing because the cognitive symptoms I’m feeling aren’t being noticed, or at least acknowledged by anyone but they keep talking about things I’m doing behaviorally even though I swear I’m very calm and I don’t feel manic anymore and I’m not seeing it in me what they say they’re seeing. I don’t know what or who to believe or even why I’m still on 7 mqedications at this point. What are some self awareness techniques some of you use? I can’t afford to fuck up again and I need this weird stuff to clear up fast. ",2.259377853881279,3.746328351027401,3.8847945205479455,88.880696347032,76.27739726027397,7.0584474885844735,23.639269406392692,7.793537801064563,1.0142666666666658,2183,67,481,32,48,729,231,584,0.08,0.8059999999999999,0.114,0.9418,3,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,3,4,3,22,28,3,3,11,0,49,15,8,6,1,108,107,51,0,10,25,2,12,13,0,0,3,1,0,3,34,29,2,2,25,1,1,6,26,10,0,2,18,19,72,18,57,83,10,59,0,1,6,2,26,30,2,23,35,301,106,3,0.0,0.0,0.05800513229748774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12126427224453774,0.062328309161124223,0.0,0.0,0.11789755790716955,0.12468606326596028,0.0,0.04891428021824284,0.052914445233037385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04570590107492215,0.0,0.181171194242661,0.0,0.0,0.06696883312768691,0.0,0.052570091298041334,0.12978676691477098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798383749100513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05120253217513145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047458221464877895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060828036723257664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060822238781666524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851947973077791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053421084836671975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33060266930889576,0.16985657225236772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990314956298833,0.0310550894491798,0.0,0.033781277070965475,0.04985568104992133,0.09507963292817403,0.0,0.06548016230439663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2440114753603196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11707339157538285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898529938344652,0.10566649190204792,0.0,0.0,0.13066727865092487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3775136956467317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04991485908709402,0.0,0.0648860798068006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793536878675264,0.0,0.0,0.06474788304672655,0.13204948738781436,0.11975964366484272,0.05990181490146808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04744465898867957,0.0,0.0,0.08814841885116517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164776947757427,0.0,0.0676731450252542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04520700626297039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05619027098445236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059753892096905424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038078961078117916,0.0,0.058690098873987726,0.0,0.06733424236631726,0.10152333710269804,0.0,0.0472692910201874,0.0,0.0,0.2368310099799383,0.054112192316398064,0.1860275052222967,0.0,0.0,0.14750882473229496,0.0,0.1784496008149221,0.0,0.0,0.045760026311601636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949381579467652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20413467561874796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06178120314679352,0.08938337605211144,0.14332752016334707,0.10390683745584448,0.0,0.0,0.0690147385638208,0.07897895265058595,0.07617385396907936,0.05839976664114245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056342428841179876,0.05679772831597722,0.0,0.08071208750493504,0.0,0.05806450992369644,0.0,0.0,0.051337311394011986,0.06546506329019294,0.1961778019727472,0.03505941318787671,0.04718092216282863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05363560123544469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,anon-Q,2019/02/09,Current status. Manic. Sleep deprived. Tired but i cant sleep. ,0.6509090909090922,-3.0575040909090863,1.3589090909090906,89.23836363636364,180.8181818181818,0.8800000000000001,20.381818181818183,3.1291,-0.22988727272727205,49,2,7,0,5,15,10,11,0.364,0.636,0.0,-0.4588,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8671828272067329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4979899037106452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,GaileoB,2019/02/09,"I don't want to keep taking medicine, it's pointless. I've been taking medicine for the last 7 months, and I'm tired of it. I track my mood multiple times a day and it's pretty much just neutral all the time. I don't really think I need to take medicine, cause I feel like this is just my normal self that's having these neutral emotions. Like, I don't feel empty or emotionless or anything like that, I just feel generally peppy all the time. But, I'm afraid that if I do actually quit taking my medicine then something bad will happen and I'll ruin my life at the ripe old age of 21. I also keep having the thoughts of quitting my medicine so I can drink again even though I haven't drank since last May. So, how do you know if you actually need mood stabilizers or if it's your normal self that's having stable moods on its own. I don't even feel like the same person I was last summer before I started taking my medicine, but I also think I was relatively normal before that summer also.",6.057223466188983,5.391228793103452,6.488060904612628,81.41595163457234,66.48768472906403,8.958172861621136,29.29198387819077,8.00094639256281,1.753112315270935,787,22,163,8,11,256,104,203,0.043,0.89,0.067,0.3149,0,0,2,0,0,0,17.0,0,3,0,2,13,10,0,1,7,0,17,4,0,2,2,37,40,19,0,9,11,0,4,4,0,2,2,0,0,3,12,3,2,2,8,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,5,4,25,4,8,33,5,17,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,7,19,99,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.2080149158528896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255697811919632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770689317127144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899049181038349,0.0,0.0,0.18138477196335528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094878107273442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06873578001609988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440857974778216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988902187033867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407911879697398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21556176062093094,0.15228264803762387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424902370857484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894677725131792,0.0,0.0,0.05857400435253263,0.26063266026113274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528115044662767,0.20827992421435448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507175448358273,0.0,0.07834912994394994,0.15805658226801902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132795786920919,0.0,0.0,0.11183859023236896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306221812813403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843096047270732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22672353825331404,0.0,0.0,0.06827837098798605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223739768789104,0.0,0.0,0.08816471505452153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205108449555333,0.0,0.0,0.07543841820331802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4006773778389528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365853088852848,0.10471506625812643,0.08461322689808103,0.1864443138153637,0.12249891747191576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062864100082776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Tiddleboo81,2019/02/10,"I am torn between weed and meds So I got off all my meds for bipolar/psychosis a year ago and I started smoking weed daily and it was great, I was doing really good untill recently I am still smoking but now I am getting extremely manic or extremely angry where I'm starting to lose control but i am not deppressed nor have I had a psychosis episode. Recently I do get the urge to hurt others physically this isnt a normal thing for me, I have also noticed my teeth grinding is getting out of control my jaw hurts so bad and I'm worried for my teeth but I do it without noticing. I am concerned about going back on meds because everytime I have gone into treatment I have been locked up multiple times because the many medications i have been on which I started treatment at 10yo treatment have always failed me somehow it usually enhances my depression or psychosis I am torn between starting treatment again or staying on weed, I am afraid I'll end up going in and out of mental hospitals if I start medication again I havent been in a hospital since I started smoking weed, but I am also afraid it's just building up and I'm just a ticking time bomb.",4.4806996631251605,5.99495862995595,5.628219746048199,78.49409950764445,70.62995594713657,7.808136823011142,35.37937289453225,8.313332769828598,3.059770355014252,927,50,163,14,17,308,119,227,0.193,0.7859999999999999,0.02,-0.992,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,4,14,10,0,2,7,0,26,5,3,2,1,26,42,20,0,2,12,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,8,9,0,2,0,0,0,3,5,8,0,0,8,0,29,2,25,34,1,38,0,5,0,0,0,14,0,5,20,125,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969594411125793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17988096375581947,0.09358224298428884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648081794941445,0.09390593907577607,0.13711868882133624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522844661608435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686837595091263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09961311389733944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17627939547597293,0.0,0.12783611760258332,0.09433267860871423,0.08995079664308506,0.12399617805023695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407982732089633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12582273201900776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140247256513267,0.0,0.0,0.3747792104693297,0.2265990101472613,0.11334111848799615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11019459282245016,0.0,0.2560907365287426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720497708884774,0.0,0.22209682499572567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303455000770132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4776318476046754,0.11987574094018258,0.0898169531806013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471862785086096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13116179056878782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12386742384020953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084149733224654,0.0,0.0,0.11421653923621428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07242559419968796 bipolarreddit,talkshitaboutsunsets,2019/02/10,"are there communities for people in remission from BP? my illness has improved significantly this year. I'm not really in remission yet, but I'm becoming skillful in symptom management and I'm wondering if there's a community for this. A lot of the subreddits for mental illness, including this sub, are very support group/venting based. Which is great, but I'm looking for discussion of practical techniques for managing bipolar, major depression, and/or anxiety.",8.076538461538462,10.644062038461538,8.692820512820512,55.89384615384617,63.23076923076921,13.405128205128205,45.051282051282044,12.45797560212912,7.370651282051281,381,25,49,16,6,127,57,78,0.14300000000000002,0.723,0.134,0.0489,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,3,0,4,4,0,0,0,7,11,4,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,11,11,2,5,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,3,2,32,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22330101962465995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3223781891414845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25141114920144664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3218183572727025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24512063739936274,0.0,0.0,0.2481610729563185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941643293915053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20236518259494973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186997206476882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3312421666443667,0.0,0.30339358202369715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24084625671916995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165507148190734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18797261428815795 bipolarreddit,YoungQuavo96,2019/02/10,Wellbutrin and Remeron Combination Have you ever been on this combination. What were your experiences? Did it treat your depression? What dose?,6.032727272727271,9.012196818181824,5.43509090909091,63.93263636363636,103.54545454545456,9.032727272727275,31.67272727272727,8.238735603445708,4.686589090909092,118,6,15,4,5,36,19,22,0.157,0.742,0.1,-0.3695,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,3,1,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,14,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5428991288999234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5701662360669407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6165800832730182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Taqosl,2019/02/10,"I think my wife might be Bipolar. Advice? So my wife was diagnosed with depression just over a year ago for reasons I won't go into. She cycled through some medication until she found one that worked Mirtazapine. She has been taking this for 95% of the year since she has been diagnosed. My concern is, is that while there has been improvements in herself, as much as less self hatred, which is something she struggled with. More recently she has been far more verbally violent and sometimes gets physical as well in herself and on me. The latter only once, the former a number of times. This isnt her nature, before she was diagnosed with depression and before the event that triggered it she was wonderfully sweet, caring, comforting and affirming of me, but now when she is in one of these phases of what seems like BPD all hell breaks loose if I say the wrong thing, it just triggers her, and I am unsure of how to deal with that, how do I deal with that. I was reading the post on here about how SSRI's and SNRI's can bring on these phases of not supplemented with something else. I wonder if this is happening? I am at a loss. I live my wife dearly, but I don't know what to do about this. How do I support her, how do I enable her to understand how she is being and seek help in that way? Any advice welcome, or any words of support appreciated. Thanks. A guy from the UK.",5.022296571664602,5.9136474646840185,5.635359355638169,81.27754130524578,68.77695167286245,8.803056588186701,27.95559686080132,8.998388855275968,2.1008858323007025,1084,35,212,19,18,351,147,269,0.102,0.752,0.146,0.8954,0,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,3,16,17,2,1,11,0,31,5,0,9,1,42,47,25,0,2,8,3,0,1,0,2,5,1,0,2,18,14,0,0,8,1,0,2,4,7,1,2,9,2,34,10,37,34,6,27,1,3,0,0,26,11,1,8,12,167,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23240473971673306,0.10541097995342058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16173256685209822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20237582714986024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14976929016008814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124177625068625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451923040720037,0.2048426448339138,0.3620886909064099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933823060961612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038416878833908,0.0,0.0,0.0621281838105073,0.0,0.06758213962491258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177445540264068,0.10515614913330784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970622345517417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06535257867577843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058095866435394335,0.0,0.10500413096928607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11979436038762907,0.0,0.12615003184311338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741621365040554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266406028932976,0.1611597743625997,0.09044022234180872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388770682485105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894718840869062,0.0,0.0,0.12226443381820708,0.11741422470113867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456598751391226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825575743790013,0.12405428807597275,0.0,0.0,0.09836772371494994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830931661306758,0.11760998387600237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431578591101428,0.0,0.0,0.26988668446672714,0.0,0.0,0.08940928710021706,0.0,0.0,0.10948096292455396,0.0,0.0,0.07900184759517014,0.07619593575298325,0.0,0.0,0.06934029763975116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123794717422693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438919856528936,0.0,0.0,0.10691887359681973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579165078938029,0.08657154232686738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13001489400566302,0.0,0.15315473315099046 bipolarreddit,Sbananas2,2019/02/10,"How do I come down? I’ve been hypomanic for the past month though I assume I’ve crossed into mania now. I wake up after sleeping a few hours and immediately feel like I’ve drank 6 shots of espresso, to the point where I’m just immediately shaky and jittery. It doesn’t even feel like a new day anymore it’s just a continuation of the day before. I’m drunk or high any minute that I’m not at work. Last night I became very paranoid that my phone was being hacked and that the cops were gonna randomly break down my door and arrest me for no reason. I have a bunch of tests coming up at school and I cannot sit down and focus on them because I feel so jittery and then smoke weed to “calm down” and then I can’t focus even more. I have the worsssttt racing thoughts from the very second I wake up and it’s almost like my brain is narrating everything I do. My friends are all applauding me for being so busy and productive and “not having a mental breakdown” but they don’t realize that me being productive is the mental breakdown. And I’m here really suffering. It’s been a fun month but I’m starting to get scared. How do you know if you’re experiencing psychosis? ",2.5819187675070046,4.490326239495801,4.0014285714285736,86.56023809523809,76.52100840336134,6.886274509803924,23.098039215686285,7.793537801064563,1.0323282913165277,927,28,193,14,21,306,134,238,0.084,0.846,0.07,-0.51,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,2,1,12,9,0,2,13,0,20,7,4,3,1,37,36,23,0,1,8,0,3,3,1,1,0,0,1,0,8,15,3,0,8,1,0,3,7,3,0,1,6,4,21,6,22,26,4,34,0,1,0,0,5,14,0,6,18,122,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366862522113267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435847151476924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521916807496086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354815840007367,0.0,0.13058366910240232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17131278391691326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26438543999375874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979387851794143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20271856014559936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792049357226127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327828735182501,0.2192645689727484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856328016443035,0.0,0.08017683051283447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16213955122191887,0.0,0.0,0.15112778034761196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433793332903453,0.12509087246381226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22491929512507894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3093043843023311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24498157628556164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14821320535350913,0.0,0.14401237894849128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14649550871027486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14506987141554228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831079100452296,0.15778305733012885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15364083367669845,0.15531032174701698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535714290678459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862020370994434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15077426196560606,0.12183057599981685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532421361221482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11172114571297084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,setandreflect,2019/02/10,"Does anyone else try to stay home and isolate because it's easier? I prefer to be alone and will avoid social interaction as much as possible. I'm really good at acting like a fun carefree person and because I rant / become overactive when manic people assume that I love to hang out and I have a lot of friends (which I wish I didn't in all honesty because upkeep is really stressful) in reality I hate going out with friends at night now and I'm just not interested in anyone's conversation about their mundane work lives or rocky relationships etc. I do have a few friends I love to talk to and be around, but generally I would rather keep myself away from everyone for fear of being triggered into depression or doing / saying something I shouldn't when manic. I have a lot of hobbies that require me being alone (writing, drawing, film etc) and sometimes I even get flu-like symptoms when getting worked up about having to go to a bar or concert and stay home ""sick"". People must think I'm the most I'll person in the world at this point. Does anyone else have this experience ? ",7.638221343873518,7.1689118647343015,7.881458058849366,72.0736758893281,63.20289855072464,10.232586736934564,34.27711901624944,9.573946990214177,3.1839603864734287,864,32,152,14,11,283,129,207,0.117,0.7709999999999999,0.111,-0.5034,0,3,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,3,10,14,1,3,7,0,17,5,0,1,2,37,30,17,0,6,7,0,0,1,3,4,2,2,2,2,6,13,1,3,3,3,0,4,3,5,0,0,1,2,16,9,30,21,8,26,0,1,0,2,15,15,0,7,6,104,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22779619948293764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23068549219134166,0.22535916104884784,0.0,0.09789863055165897,0.0,0.0,0.1033225622178274,0.0,0.0,0.20111421446812747,0.121455725652098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947189499531816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19247493886430853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18373543069957574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.245296288725294,0.07263564328623555,0.0,0.0,0.10508321113622256,0.0,0.10757397634438126,0.0,0.12374937125815183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548928954117727,0.0,0.11491193814258414,0.0,0.12499954403637392,0.09223951755541113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10857484320244452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206222950300032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977484012810716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537268933413986,0.0,0.09710752401406694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869889726397395,0.19850852396644636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084226770810139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320152016265063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15248184229983394,0.1920470784246478,0.0,0.0,0.103959335782093,0.12397720417280965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14090209680777865,0.0,0.0,0.11806905570710585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874543584014543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210287414905824,0.0,0.0846620216877313,0.10876538121032156,0.0,0.0,0.2344316025793089,0.0,0.0,0.12597285700601255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430329006130535,0.0,0.08839154023418598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046578637055151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466394857679998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12646267645537373,0.0,0.0,0.16012223610326493,0.0,0.0,0.078121141181159,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ListlessIntellectual,2019/02/10,"I'm exhausted There is something profoundly satisfying in hearing from a licensed professional that your are certifiably ill. That you experience not something that everyone else experiences. I have a problem. I have a disorder. It does not just come and goes as it pleases and logic doesn’t help defeat it, Today I did laundry, cleaned my room, cleaned out my car, got a car wash, had lunch and read at the coffee shop, went grocery shopping, fixed that lightbulb that was out for 4 months, made a huge meal for tonight & work this week, and I did not drink alcohol at all. I was so excited that I immediately told the people I cared about most, like it was some huge accomplishment or something.  The worst part is that I don’t want this feeling to go away. I don’t mind the swings, I’ve learned how to deal with that. I’m just lonely. I want to fix myself so maybe one day someone will love me. I don't know where to go from here.",4.668791208791209,5.928291593406595,5.171098901098902,82.92390109890111,69.87912087912089,8.457142857142857,30.48351648351648,8.841846274778883,2.308767032967032,738,30,149,13,13,236,119,182,0.107,0.7340000000000001,0.159,0.7804,0,2,5,0,0,0,24.0,0,2,0,3,9,9,0,0,9,0,16,8,0,2,1,27,32,9,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,1,4,1,3,0,14,8,4,0,4,4,2,6,7,5,0,1,10,2,17,4,17,21,5,21,0,2,0,1,7,10,0,3,6,95,31,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683847099754965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707171948758622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480336742963516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16064386247978624,0.0,0.0,0.13572478427067447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161376102220143,0.16243839373898133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18057846886642445,0.0,0.13788262601337745,0.0,0.0,0.15434972104300826,0.0,0.0,0.13162193387896806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505562146103099,0.0,0.30824963367352354,0.0,0.0,0.07966753714051734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909100773229092,0.0,0.1260158640550496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17758261205918555,0.0,0.1056097658371583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865913630280696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697630855386525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220488512444254,0.1490879555596829,0.0,0.0,0.15829112536844586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15909161725024942,0.0,0.12576362598648608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676735952980693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17062312604241242,0.0,0.10923290564326807,0.0,0.0,0.1729545794387567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15076452480311767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15760356180838092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13350085924887034,0.3638942901174931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14934933244315346,0.1505562146103099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858670299861509,0.0,0.1263858689713171,0.0,0.0,0.14606055469844625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470622891127068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ManicTypist,2019/02/11,"On Abilify, not sure if it's causing anhedonia or my dose is too low. Basically, this is just a venting post. I'm so bored, all the time. I don't care to do anything, not even take a shower, and I'm on 5mg of abilify and I have no idea if my dose is too low, or if I'm experiencing a side effect. I plan on calling my psych tomorrow to see what they think. The thing that confuses me is that I've got a bazillion ideas but when I try to put them into action, there is just no action. I can post all day long on social media because I'm talking about myself, but trying to write anything, zilch. It's like, I have an idea, but I can't get the idea out, and it's gone beyond writers block. It's like I can't think or something, and I have no depression (good) but I also don't feel happiness (bad). So I'm just super flat emotionally. I never used to be this way until about a year ago where I experienced a major depressive episode and ended up in the psych ward (best decision ever made, btw, learned a lot). I just am so irritated that I'm so bored despite having a bunch of ideas flowing through my head. &#x200B; I have ADD/ADHD, but I can't take meds for it, so I have racing thoughts and ideas constantly. It's just frustrating. The only thing that helps is .... well, social media because it's a major time waster and I feel like I have nothing to do with my time and the hobbies I have I have no desire to do them. So, that's about it. Thanks for reading. ",2.061824104234528,3.451409293159613,4.112555048859935,87.44962736156353,76.58957654723126,6.996690553745927,24.33211726384365,7.699297019823105,1.0976296807817594,1131,37,249,16,25,388,151,307,0.157,0.75,0.093,-0.9425,1,0,1,0,0,0,51.0,0,0,3,4,24,20,1,1,16,0,26,3,1,4,5,56,47,28,0,4,18,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,18,11,0,1,14,1,0,5,12,9,1,0,4,5,30,11,26,42,7,35,0,4,1,0,9,13,0,8,17,167,48,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141883067158676,0.0,0.08422413594473194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07598262336696568,0.0,0.10294757767517562,0.11545235190098607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563767741418302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933268147708689,0.1158392469302822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971128109664884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701986854641127,0.0,0.0968730567691417,0.0976055018615201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026763281657451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06127613895780387,0.0,0.1636707558680669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10687790786576278,0.08415416014722492,0.0,0.0,0.06275581942946845,0.085945559552306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09608381831633496,0.06787798654376312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04964086854678425,0.0,0.0,0.07969319532502299,0.07599133738429213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10114411905419418,0.0,0.0,0.0975117266373582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368584945226978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6435551223929822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925705333478008,0.0,0.0,0.0840843579153302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077746455716338,0.0,0.08990449905514282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553908169892363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07328061747694069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116844982060994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226239225509734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18199420413866985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955152651418157,0.0,0.0,0.09503966447521968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571381852533526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193709518064002,0.0,0.07314638248100748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08954952564625031,0.0,0.1428773350703659,0.07636861583464964,0.0,0.08747608179709906,0.0,0.0,0.12624609608374454,0.1217622083416951,0.0,0.07543046500469741,0.16621019909233087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901647353248394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820615484178805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541765284024622,0.0,0.0,0.08542895387990307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545235190098607,0.061185870158821064 bipolarreddit,girlski,2019/02/11,"I feel like shit. I'm swinging into a big, dark depression. I'm getting married in August and I'm kind of dreading it. Putting the guest list together has been stressful because I hate hurting feelings but I would rather elope so bad. I'm a full time teacher now. Prior to that I didn't work when I was in graduate school. I'm having to accept that I can't do the things I used to do all the time. I know this sounds dumb, but I bought a seasons pass for the local ski area and I've only used it once this year. That's the most depressing thing to me. My friendships have dwindled as I got older. It's pretty sad. I'm just sad. I hate life changes.",0.31606751824817536,2.5464064233576638,2.047185218978104,95.63603330291971,86.95620437956205,4.592883211678832,21.701186131386862,5.985473137389443,0.15241642335766414,508,18,112,4,16,166,91,137,0.275,0.64,0.086,-0.9824,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,5,15,4,2,8,0,10,2,1,2,1,16,26,7,0,2,4,0,2,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,10,3,0,0,4,1,1,2,2,12,0,0,5,3,13,3,10,20,3,18,0,5,0,0,1,7,2,1,10,63,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537889208171765,0.1122790282768133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19484601828144246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172809546536185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18626153120931185,0.13158363115235364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09623039912551308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14731161924937095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3636941701704475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19717659466438828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19180300236060888,0.1012246671982717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009712217043298,0.08998473915915435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19615374238344604,0.0,0.14008294077124633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18738496725918613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851593728363876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18640764612957425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890658856287119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21098623005780529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447320639188053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148024972919498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181578319753963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409073885750328,0.0,0.0,0.13084155950229506,0.0,0.0,0.11861075115307572 bipolarreddit,talyen42,2019/02/11,"Advice on long-term treatment for a bipolar depressed family member? My brother has had bipolar depression since he was a teenager, he's mid-20s now and still living with our retired father. Recently, he ""attempted suicide"" by jumping off a 15-foot balcony and breaking his feet, leading to hospitalization (and inpatient psych). Given the background context below, what would you do? * He has talked about and threatened suicide hundreds of times * This is the third time he's been hospitalized in the last 90 days (previously for psychosis and suicidal threats) * Each time, he's released after 3-5 days after he begins to act normal and wants to go home * Our father is a psychiatrist who desperately wants to help him, and has not been willing to ""kick him out"" of the house * He has not been willing to consider longer-term inpatient psychiatric options (I don't know what options are available?) and because he always has had my father's home to return to, the hospital is always able to discharge him * He has seen at least 20 psychiatrists in the last decade, and taken hundreds of different medications, with zero success * He has received a year of ECT treatment, with significant memory loss and only temporary depression relief * He dropped out of high school due to a combination of social phobia, depression, sensory issues, and rage issues * He has never applied for a job * He sometimes wishes to move into his own apartment, but that gets derailed by his constant suicidal threats, changing his mind about everything, easily becoming frustrated and overwhelmed, and at least for now, he can't even walk... How do you end a revolving door of 5-day long emergency room and inpatient psychiatric visits? Is my father's home being open to him actually hurting his chances of recovery? Would being barred from returning home force him to choose between homelessness and long-term inpatient care? My father is in his 60s, and beginning to decline mentally, so I see this situation deteriorating long-term if someone doesn't do something. What would you do?",7.198691148775892,9.498111957627124,7.190000000000001,66.86620527306971,65.01694915254237,10.103201506591338,37.96986817325801,10.338469443840273,4.711782297551789,1659,88,236,43,27,530,199,354,0.139,0.8079999999999999,0.053,-0.9869,2,0,1,0,0,2,61.0,2,3,0,4,8,14,4,1,14,0,34,5,1,2,1,43,47,20,4,8,4,6,0,0,0,5,3,0,6,0,7,24,1,0,2,1,0,8,6,11,0,2,9,2,22,3,48,31,4,48,0,7,2,0,43,15,0,3,23,158,29,5,0.09207831266080783,0.0,0.08985515070066306,0.0,0.0,0.08997786145779818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15323306474725445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05613008475802915,0.10169326210824252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387997645554183,0.0,0.09740664564657976,0.0,0.0,0.09950394456647473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781486826524171,0.0,0.3172276630843222,0.0,0.0,0.0962022388607017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08155405472632912,0.0,0.0,0.06081685710121451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275405017565947,0.0,0.0868032384166405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04810711797306736,0.0,0.052330227030685066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061718152049010024,0.09728579277631133,0.3694482208220304,0.0,0.0,0.10624601013966807,0.09857173811235438,0.0,0.0,0.19221167144243734,0.09137351739912968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05060383258247007,0.15011222869447882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813068370323831,0.32594563667717696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927592128759632,0.09279328211182718,0.0,0.09297284721105864,0.0,0.0,0.09786467428463017,0.0,0.0,0.07101647117193277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021719633068996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002970598622281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091622534213906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931881682392368,0.07337449377133573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616813174404867,0.10349988136081532,0.0,0.09386224406235376,0.07801765551208394,0.07088638362563232,0.09106780565789724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07353385943332648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4028749165441333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400905985226451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107481376007773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862034894832633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058855153566327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19622937437515667,0.0,0.0,0.059295414447494914 bipolarreddit,Bloof_Iron,2019/02/11,"Depressive episodes are not forever One thing that gets me through my episodes is the knowledge that it can't last forever. For several years before I was diagnosed I only really experienced depression (no hypomania at all) and it felt like it would never end. And I know that a fair amount of people also feel this way. And some people suffer from chronic depression. But now with my diagnosis I feel that as long as my episode lasts and however intense it is it can't last forever. I guess it's just a small solace. But on the flip side, when I was just depressed I held on to hope that one day I would be cured but with bipolar that hope is pretty much squashed. So I guess it's a mixed bag.",5.1242497972424985,5.903665934306574,5.850316301703162,80.23115977291162,68.48905109489051,9.884509326845095,31.28061638280616,9.994966539143718,2.963513219789132,551,22,110,13,9,180,87,137,0.08199999999999999,0.81,0.108,0.5379999999999999,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,5,0,11,3,0,0,2,27,21,12,0,4,6,0,3,1,0,2,3,0,0,0,15,6,0,1,5,0,0,0,5,5,0,2,4,4,13,3,12,14,4,16,0,5,0,0,0,5,0,5,11,77,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857584683117127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617151145935804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562541730593947,0.0,0.5108378105036979,0.1504964898143752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132806372886482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14994507452851594,0.0,0.14236771235448178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746781783173988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32668431326149217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29454201359770354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814883254133276,0.3625929158756948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243990926116645,0.0,0.0,0.13121913278661967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108999537718094,0.0,0.11435919014895653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20095060367779047,0.11277018318137892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055910947611832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508494679431558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498906853412596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16750908611437285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985076395688629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176941734212277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21066129182576016,0.0,0.0,0.09548454694890897 bipolarreddit,bchris10sen4,2019/02/12,"Does anyone else have difficulty accepting your diagnosis when hypomanic or manic? I am a 30 year old psychiatric RN, I was first diagnosed with bipolar I when I was 23 years old. In retrospect I may have had 1-2 manic episodes before then- I was medicated a short time, felt better and then I talked myself out of my diagnosis. I would tell myself that I was just stressed and unhappy with my life so I was essentially just rebelling. It wasn't until what I believe to be my 3rd or 4th spring/summer manic episode that I sought treatment because I could see the cycle. Context: My first episode I had been married for 5 years (got married to a man in the army when I was 18), I had two children who were 3 and 5 at the time. A lot had changed, I was going to nursing school which was terribly stressful, I was drinking a lot and smoking a lot of pot. My husband was lazy as fuck and would lay around all day and expect me to come home from a day of school and work and do all the shit around the house. Anyway, I began to say things to him like ""you're not my father"", ""I'll do what I want, I'm an adult"", ""If I want to go out with my friends I will"".... Which are things I had never said to him before... but I started to feel like my life wasn't enough and I needed more. So I started with the sexual symptoms, I was reaching out to plenty of people, men, women... everyone, my boss, his son... and I started doing really shitty things. One time I told my husband I was leaving to pick up a friend and I ended up going to a party and getting fucked up and never came home that night... and I had a lot of nights where I drank in excess and can't recall the events... Needless to say, by the end of the summer I had looked my husband in the face and told him without any feelings whatsoever that I did not love him anymore and I was moving out. He was DEVASTATED and I didn't care. I took my two kids and moved into an apartment. He would say things like, HOW do you not care? It wasn't until I came down from that episode that I realized how fucked up my choices were and actually cried about my massive life change. Episode 2: I had remarried by then, I had just had the second child with my new husband. I was terribly stressed with work and kids and I felt like my husband and I were on two separate pages and I began to resent him. He was controlling and possessive and I began to say the same things ""You're not my dad"" ""don't tell me what to do"" ""im a professional, I go to work, I make good money, don't restrict my life"".... and I began to get sexual and unfortunately I was working in juvenile corrections at the time and I was a woman amongst a whole lot of men.... So as you can imagine that ended badly... so my husband caught me in some bad predicaments and I ended up telling him I didn't love him and I was moving out and done. I took my kids and rented a house down by the lake in September. By Christmas I had realized I fucked up and my husband was more than willing to take me back and work on things so I moved back home. Episode 3: Husband and I had been working on our marriage, I was being really restricted at this point because he couldn't trust me... I was still kind of denying my diagnosis so I never brought that up to him and he just thought I was a terrible, no good, lying, cheating person... so he kept very good tabs on me and asked me a lot of fucking questions and it got old really fast... so some summer time.... I began feeling great, increased sexual drive, defiant and making the same statements. was drinking every day, smoking an eighth of weed every day, rolling blunts on my way to work and smoking before during and after work to get by... it was terrible looking back on it.. I had many nights where I didn't go home, I would stay with friends or ""sleep"" in my car... I had about 4 police contacts that summer, I could have easily ended up with 2 DWIs, I did have a harassment charge for punching someone, and I had 2 welfare checks because people were so worried about my erratic behavior. I had friends and family expressing their concern for me but once again I thought everyone else was crazy and needed to leave me alone because I was successful, made it to work, work performance was ok, and I still took care of my kids when it was my day to do so. My husband grew tired of my behavior quickly, obviously... so we were talking about splitting up again...I fell so hard from this one... I ended up being caught with a belt around my neck in the garage after calling my ex to come pick up my older two kids- the other two weren't home. That's why I decided I needed treatment... I fell from the last episode in October, 2018. It's now February and I usually start to trend up in the spring and I am anticipating it. I have trended my timeline and disease symptoms... I have red flags in place with my loved ones. One of them is wanting to drink... I haven't drank since September- and I know when I start to want to drink is not a good sign... but anyway, ive been thinking about drinking.... and I haven't said anything to anyone because I guess I am trying to convince myself that I can.. I'm also starting to resent my husband again... he's controlling and manipulative and I don't think he understands my illness and he holds things against me... during my manic episodes everything is spinning out of control so fast that I can recall certain events but to put a timeline I really cant... like I know I did something but I don't know where it fits in and some minute details, that's hard for him to accept. he thinks im withholding information from him or lying.. and I can only tell him the same thing so many times before it's just maddening to me... I'm currently on a med regime and it's hard for me to accept the amount of chemicals I put into myself every day. I take Wellbutrin, Depakote (needs to be increased I assume), buspar, Vyvanse, and atarax. OK, back to the original question, am I the only one who tries to convince themselves that they're misdiagnosed? EVEN THOUGH I know that I am capable of ruining my entire life and everything I've worked so hard for, I'm intelligent, I work in the psych field and I am still trying to talk myself out of having to deal with this bullshit forever!! 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Posted this on the BP2 subreddit, figured I'd do it here too. Just reached 100mg of lamictal after titrating for a month. Just looking for some solidarity and seeing if anyone else is in the same boat as me. ",4.286304347826088,6.551844369565224,5.568913043478261,75.61902173913045,72.69565217391305,8.078260869565218,31.06521739130435,8.841846274778883,2.9221478260869564,195,9,33,4,4,65,39,46,0.0,0.919,0.081,0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,5,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,7,5,2,6,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,3,24,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3980655259149446,0.5833117989595056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4755743858610581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2390329453792953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272036180807855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27261446020314856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268279021839215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20147558566448664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,hiyyori,2019/02/12,"Does buspar induce hypomania? I have undiagnosed bipolar 2 (my psychiatrist isn’t really sure if my hypomania is actually hypomania or just anxiety but I am 99% sure it’s hypomania and not anxiety) and I was just prescribed Buspar. I do have a significant problem with anxiety, however, I read that it can induce hypomania in people with bipolar disorder. In anyone’s experience, has it caused or worsened hypomania for them? 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It’s been awhile but I’d kinda forgot how nice it feels. Like a lot of me doesn’t want it to end ever and I know that once this is over I’m gonna realize I made some dumbass decisions but right now I just feel so great. Anyways, check up in three days when I feel like ass :)))",0.1006325301204818,1.7497845301204862,2.6731174698795184,94.37666415662649,83.21686746987952,6.559638554216868,17.60391566265061,7.6454224807358475,0.12632650602409656,288,6,72,5,8,100,61,83,0.146,0.652,0.202,0.7401,0,0,0,0,0,1,9.0,0,0,0,0,10,6,1,0,3,0,4,2,1,2,1,19,16,8,0,1,3,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,6,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,3,3,5,4,6,12,3,12,0,1,0,2,0,5,2,3,9,41,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624220269152054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15501890775896304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128966708946704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217428627115459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36461521944861264,0.3434410690313791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222183968233358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650090181676704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13210118770270068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23486549765105025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20435416689378505,0.0,0.2274441158203885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559864414315923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15398731914644292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4105497121934021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14177658462302292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Aneaunymousse,2019/02/12,"Comorbid Anxiety? I sleep too much Hi guys, So it's been a very long time I've been here. Some good news: meds work, like work work. Took a year and a half to stabilize but Seroplex+lamictal+solian combo did a good job. I crashed a car in August and it was the last time I've been maniac since. But here it comes. These days I've been starting to think that hypomania was so intense and fun I feel like my life is so boring now. Plus I think I may have anxiety too. Lately I've been sleeping so much I can't even hear my alarms. I have trouble getting to sleep at night but I can sleep for hours at daytime although I had 10 hours sleep the night before. I get anxious when I have to meet friends or have a big party. I wake up a lot during the night. Monday I took 3 coffees during the morning and I had to get out of class cause I got stressed... What do you guys think? I'm meeting my psychiatrist on Saturday. And by the ways, thank you all for supporting me last year, it was so helpful there were many times I couldn't have been through it if you and my friends hadn't been here. ",1.1918376811594198,3.3090909200000027,2.437661835748795,95.00965217391304,82.02222222222224,5.690821256038648,21.33816425120773,6.8959733430537185,0.2999410628019321,847,26,194,10,23,271,125,225,0.086,0.735,0.179,0.9743,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,3,0,3,14,14,1,2,12,0,26,7,6,1,1,25,42,19,0,2,5,0,1,2,2,1,1,1,0,2,8,9,0,0,4,0,0,4,3,5,0,1,18,2,24,9,17,22,5,33,0,0,0,0,12,7,0,5,23,119,32,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15705644360643606,0.1159671318744713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734898295736859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545150852238587,0.0,0.08842529640548434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06620181410157981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678004385120103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051903752313182235,0.07333435042071054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861680116111884,0.0,0.16089373158636194,0.0,0.0,0.1721986467098105,0.08209989200379672,0.0,0.0,0.20328252020651816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569585608239175,0.0,0.06880522888760462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20218237089994048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186591092228732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16734957077052887,0.11579551841684232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250588741487142,0.10030081000535793,0.0,0.0,0.09084346902788104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727075144034074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407264872685404,0.0,0.0,0.11402282823163692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15092152978710607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28899482425839845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491449540531984,0.0,0.5136288569846608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265735744678417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175871040607545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116487861885046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450783623057593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973250734707428,0.0,0.0,0.17957098618230918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280994928608087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469835157899615,0.0,0.08148009189589453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241948442697063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220857811184925 bipolarreddit,the_penumbra_cafe,2019/02/12,"Looking for advice about what to do now that I have no insurance. *I really need some guidance and/or suggestions. I have no support system and no one to talk this out with to figure out what I should do.* &#x200B; Backstory: I lost my job at the beginning of January. That (on top of things that I was already dealing with and at the time I was unmedicated) I ended up flipping my sh\*t and ended up in the mental health unit for a week. During that week they got me medicated with Lamictal and Latuda, stabilized and finally I was discharged with a follow up appointment with a pdoc already scheduled for me. The problem is that my insurance ran out at the end of January. I currently have no job (not for a lack of trying, I just bomb the interviews horribly) and no way to pay for a doctor's visit and my local resources can't do anything for me for a couple of months due to lack of openings through my county's community services board (I don't know what the term is for other places but this is set up to handle mental health stuff for uninsured or under insured people). My awesome therapist decided to keep seeing me even though the insurance is now cancelled, and my primary doctor is going to work with me to get me taken care of as well. My therapist, the pdoc in the hospital, and my primary care doc have all advised me against going back to work right now and are urging me to seek temporary disability benefits as they all feel that I need a year or two to get back to a functioning level and I hated to admit it, but I agree with them because I am completely unable to handle leaving my house most of the time now days. They all told me to go to social services and apply for Medicaid so that I can keep going to the doctor which I am working on as well as trying to figure out how to get disability. I have no insurance or money to pay for a pdoc appointment (first appointment as a new patient is base priced at $300) and medications; the Lamictal I can get without insurance for around $15 while the Latuda is about $1500. The makers of Latuda offer a discount program themselves but it's only up to $600 which still leaves me about $900 to pay out of pocket so that does me no good.In the meantime, I have no idea how to get my medications refilled and I know that I can't just stop taking them. The pdoc in the hospital said the Latuda would only be for a month and then he advised that I stop the Latuda and go fully on the Lamictal 2 times a day. Of course that would ultimately be left up to the pdoc I was scheduled to see. Should I contact my primary doc and see if she will write the Rx as the pdoc said it should be be after the month of Latuda was up? Is there anything that anyone knows of that will help me get low cost or no cost help? &#x200B; Thanks in advance. I hate to ask here but I don't know where else to turn at this point and I don't want to annoy my doc or therapist until I have an idea of the direction that I should be going in first. &#x200B; &#x200B;",5.733667060212515,5.608469932231408,6.715726092089733,77.70190082644632,67.03305785123968,9.889492325855961,31.33530106257379,9.606745405546679,2.75794828807556,2379,85,466,45,35,798,245,605,0.08199999999999999,0.835,0.083,0.872,3,0,0,0,0,0,63.0,0,0,5,8,24,13,3,0,40,0,46,9,0,3,3,82,91,42,0,13,14,0,1,0,0,8,9,2,0,0,28,32,0,4,11,0,8,10,16,6,2,4,12,7,62,7,104,66,8,87,0,2,4,0,25,37,0,8,37,351,90,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06124527212231552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13832681378291808,0.0,0.0,0.2716332897990717,0.3046278782863209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04382380831879476,0.0,0.10315234842712216,0.055794026480128635,0.05859265253400281,0.0,0.0,0.09638639292697974,0.0,0.03820609047111546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12780265304600474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06571353164144306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06934868124347501,0.0,0.08084036354799512,0.06461515975745907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19245151550846398,0.05484730366115621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052356909529906855,0.0,0.1665343072218356,0.0,0.0,0.04139623794609585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03169035670279778,0.0,0.0,0.06865738495237235,0.0,0.10662262419570084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19647056399508334,0.0,0.213717837440718,0.05256880567175296,0.050126912735762065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12375714844175313,0.0,0.13324116116579235,0.0,0.0,0.08401944558108779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723185203280947,0.0,0.14150486345440522,0.0,0.0,0.12439050778079636,0.1114168167365428,0.0,0.0,0.1377781354983236,0.0,0.0,0.132727523789733,0.06809655698124938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052631204152139816,0.0,0.06841715223486929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18941536759366254,0.126323291573832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15007973049497153,0.0,0.0,0.09294541771918087,0.0,0.060531893193802574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04247019337057751,0.09533430402285356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04345094461013156,0.0,0.0654820219367309,0.0,0.059248121253565274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05997149831193559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04015120168739495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05352409662156268,0.11923653051655615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14983155072996454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388925660681873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05005232574137671,0.1047981914047252,0.0,0.0,0.07174786548880988,0.0,0.07112283274644465,0.0,0.0,0.04712379037871031,0.05037578062793399,0.0,0.057702707566980586,0.0,0.21831147245279015,0.04163847656488672,0.0,0.06157785670924625,0.0,0.10963886717194556,0.0,0.0,0.05988863615061055,0.0,0.08510440443406893,0.0681723885018811,0.061224355466089585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0369673313056084,0.049748487561694935,0.10054818847555733,0.0,0.1127046809188153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06041645110213674,0.0,0.136884411419148,0.0,0.0,0.08904502535241215,0.0,0.3046278782863209,0.040360636878946025 bipolarreddit,mental_chillness_,2019/02/12,"How I stopped letting anxiety spirals control my life (xpost r/mentallyhealthier) I used to spend most of the day caught up in anxiety spirals. I used to fall into the trap of getting stuck in the past and beating myself up about mistakes, or fretting about the way things could go wrong in the future. (There's a term for this- rumination.) The only way I've found out of this terrible habit is through mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness is paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment. Figuring this out, the idea that you can live your life without reliving your life story, has significantly improved my quality of life. I recently read this study: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19733812](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19733812) The participants engaged in Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction therapy, and the conclusion was ""the more mindfulness meditation had been practiced, the less rumination was reported at follow-up assessment."" Though the participants were in a full on 8 week course of therapy, you can easily do this yourself with some effort. Basically, the goal is to “decenter” from thoughts and emotions, to see thoughts come and go without attaching any important truth or meaning to them. I'd recommend downloading the Headspace app, it teaches this stuff in a very practical way, and I found it to be very effective when I started out.",10.975262622839718,12.059439837004408,9.309867841409693,59.41638427651645,55.91629955947136,13.680650626906136,45.214842426296165,12.896187039172386,6.5785339884784815,1141,63,160,38,13,348,143,227,0.112,0.818,0.07,-0.7798,0,0,0,0,0,0,54.0,0,4,1,6,6,6,0,1,19,0,15,4,0,5,1,39,30,10,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,11,11,0,2,10,1,2,5,2,4,0,0,11,1,14,2,36,16,6,38,0,0,1,0,5,18,0,4,11,111,25,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579276521293922,0.0,0.17052451225480295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600803503686164,0.0,0.0,0.12500550640364988,0.08898721206995537,0.0,0.0,0.07187882140222113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537111805651435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444078365860825,0.0,0.0,0.058230286457548075,0.0,0.12668412653991395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258183704449351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396960200441388,0.3148939528518889,0.0,0.0,0.09841621387511626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214064375341957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45014839832265297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476603903810237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10639576773464496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148448947877654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004770329986563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881466965812565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888794726170674,0.0,0.0,0.09318080909895714,0.12767055656539278,0.0,0.12758854075164902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549154756291657,0.0,0.07404530333887366,0.0,0.10950331172391777,0.17696457428862306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925215094502082,0.0,0.18392298666824347,0.0,0.3538690323038629,0.08940193938465647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21487599055381595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12185781166223485,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,throwawaynotbrave,2019/02/12,"Unraveling my brain When I was younger, I just thought I was weird. Quirky. Kinky. Now I am realizing that all of that weirdness - everything that makes me, me - stems from a deeply unhealthy place. And I feel shaken, and I'm questioning everything. Polyamorous? Or just codependent, addicted to relationships, and unable to truly commit? Fun loving, or just impulsive and incapable of saying no? I want to be better, but it feels like I just act more and more crazy the harder I try. I just broke up with one of my partners. There were many issues, but as with my last relationship that ended, at the conclusion, I was left asking, ""why were we even together?"" I am nothing but a role.",3.89945333333333,6.477540592000004,4.520500000000002,81.20608333333338,75.08,8.326666666666666,26.416666666666664,9.075114841892004,2.4167466666666675,534,20,97,13,12,170,84,125,0.151,0.736,0.112,-0.6113,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,0,2,9,7,0,0,4,0,8,3,1,1,2,28,16,12,0,1,10,0,2,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,5,8,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,6,3,17,4,12,9,3,9,0,1,0,1,9,4,0,3,5,70,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21074072100416955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18072243174300226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17097046410716862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158022818059046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17121876588138527,0.0,0.0,0.1276820294539292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3474761957651206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954906657557157,0.13810351224709652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017695213488116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15757665653180095,0.0,0.0,0.2100361536599744,0.0,0.0,0.0944434229218774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17447337186826342,0.0,0.12903855127822342,0.19598998607858129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854899322659164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309945238965264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019719150449284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21655584675309067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4150936363015337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15373099844776886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346966929939945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312474709387778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140215661805328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17443575632961986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,HolyCrapImGay,2019/02/12,"Pharmacogenetic Testing? Has anyone had this done or seriously investigated it? I've been on the same med combo for over 10 years and I feel like I could be doing better. My therapist recommended I look into genetic testing with a different psychiatrist to give me the best shot at finding the best meds and dosages for me. I am seriously considering it, but wonder how effective it could be in relation to the cost. Any experience or input is most appreciated. ",5.6651979345955255,8.127791939759039,8.08488812392427,58.21686746987953,69.36144578313252,11.489845094664373,33.54388984509467,11.20814326018867,4.859682960413083,373,18,59,14,7,134,64,83,0.03,0.752,0.218,0.9517,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,4,1,6,0,0,5,0,11,0,0,2,0,16,15,6,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,7,4,10,8,4,6,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,4,2,47,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14141619743439365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14540662813346145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4364708556166285,0.1839188642922676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3320695086362334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172682014287172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21280966334724088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20341941350396267,0.0,0.0,0.10514804827047018,0.14856274304395636,0.0,0.0,0.1900666541489968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19948891440624147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015960690893258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17462941318781666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4619811598396025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414512134689522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22551779466440955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339158859767479 bipolarreddit,SleepDreamRepeat,2019/02/12,"Does it ever get better? Been struggling to find a reason or meaning, or a light at the end of the tunnel. All the pills, therapies, counseling, doctors; can't seem to fix what's wrong with me. It all feels for nothing. I feel like I'm permanently broken, discarded, a former shell of a person. Times become irrelevant. I don't live life, I just exist. I wish I could fix me.",1.6531081081081105,4.043230459459462,3.8039864864864867,84.26516891891896,82.24324324324327,6.402702702702705,21.41216216216216,7.6454224807358475,1.0818702702702696,290,9,56,5,8,99,56,74,0.185,0.7390000000000001,0.077,-0.7851,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,1,7,0,4,3,0,1,3,15,11,2,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,3,7,2,7,9,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,5,34,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455589436462575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19664316884415106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775217585918251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22757615554168745,0.1945727235671131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969287552930536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20112080063529408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248452923983428,0.15884095781452234,0.0,0.0,0.2032162894615884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616436356184917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570465210109447,0.1086249256959677,0.0,0.1963317981838261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24219529743774998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133428616453488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941401998757556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22860430274383525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024115368161268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23243982465493795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25426711587720224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12964923566860528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556819867843224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24309574961653466,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,redditreadr999,2019/02/12,"Have you been in Involuntary/Assistant Outpatient Treatment? Take our survey. Hi all, MadInAmerica.com is conducting a survey of people who have been court ordered or compelled to be in Involuntary/Assistant Outpatient Treatment (IOT/AOT). [You can take the survey here.](https://www.madinamerica.com/involuntary-outpatient-survey/) If you aren't sure what Involuntary/Assisted Outpatient Treatment is, here's a quick overview: Outpatient commitment—also called Assisted Outpatient Treatment (AOT) or a Community Treatment Order (CTO)—refers to a civil court procedure wherein a judge orders an individual diagnosed with severe a mental disorder who is experiencing a psychiatric crisis that requires intervention to adhere to an outpatient treatment plan designed to prevent further deterioration that is harmful to themselves or others.",16.31975,17.361954141666672,14.53166666666667,26.500000000000053,45.08333333333334,17.333333333333332,58.33333333333334,15.4700424275458,10.266333333333334,707,46,62,28,6,227,75,120,0.103,0.877,0.021,-0.8768,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,3,0,2,2,2,0,0,10,0,11,1,0,1,2,10,13,4,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,4,1,10,10,1,7,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,4,1,48,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535484258901015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237481658300041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32180371563148297,0.0,0.0,0.3633720067002703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195164355497311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219805718646647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35818141924855906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29882018099263685,0.0,0.4767711589465031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,kned89,2019/02/13,"Is this normal rage? Sometimes, at work especially, when something doesn’t work right or takes too long or interrupts my thoughts, I feel a rage pent up and its like I cannot stop myself from hitting something or myself, or breaking the object Im holding. For example, I have broken equipment at work just by smashing it against the wall, and have bruised myself up in the process via punching myself, hitting things. Luckily Ive never been caught, but Its only a matter of time. Some co-workers have even seen me hit the wall, and throw objects work before. (Im usually quite jolly so they probably think Im nuts). I don’t always feel particularly unstable, Im usually on edge anyways, but it feels like Im normal and yet I know this cannot be totally normal. Anyone else deal with this or have any advice on how to calm down before getting physical? 29yrs bipolar 1",5.0927510040160655,6.536121789156628,5.727891566265062,78.63513052208839,69.06024096385542,8.183935742971888,31.90562248995984,8.59863814320734,2.6608851405622493,691,30,122,11,12,224,111,166,0.073,0.8190000000000001,0.109,0.7144,0,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,1,5,8,5,2,0,6,0,12,1,0,1,2,29,25,14,0,3,8,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,5,0,2,6,0,0,2,5,2,0,0,4,4,13,3,15,17,2,22,0,0,1,0,2,11,0,6,10,75,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897496631106822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09279264809158544,0.0,0.0,0.07583666772713847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797659916712626,0.1142642790590198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897887192207097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497107635819866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315972081532052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365717351326881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916190104483889,0.07966911559818722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05826401600905405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.602297676833461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128786416503211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10896499090897993,0.0,0.0,0.09869070624887756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601024105381867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3277944964971348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481513926847438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12023622253176552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11861406411497767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09523652069854877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170537601940855,0.1102950313866585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323478353547587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384832479336272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408819364604335,0.07145680025151245,0.0,0.08853353998957746,0.06502756018230442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24564459888710946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4059353918541591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,turdylogmonster,2019/02/13,"Inside sales Does anyone else in here work in sales? It’s hard some days to motivate myself to pound out phone calls and perform how I know I should. Lots of pressure on me to move up quick and it doesn’t help out. Worried I’m going to crash and burn as I progress. Doesn’t help that when I taste success I tend to get manic. Sorry for the ramble just curious if anyone else is in sales with BP",3.1349799196787167,4.092087337349401,3.8796987951807225,91.88573293172692,73.21686746987952,6.497188755020081,22.26706827309237,6.42735559955562,0.2796200803212852,311,7,69,2,6,99,60,83,0.109,0.703,0.188,0.8402,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,5,5,2,0,1,1,0,4,1,0,2,0,14,9,7,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,2,0,3,2,2,1,0,0,0,2,7,1,16,8,2,12,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,3,3,42,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180325227568765,0.4660341348338269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322196547130067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14666608030004158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19901540987583552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37995785077420136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188167488401982,0.0,0.129247140627639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037222532035485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048675738585642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12498322742320404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19334302559978547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24170981166060684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25457632517978124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16556333326486786,0.23095446553778826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Elizalib321,2019/02/13,"Experiencing a mixed episode for the first time This episode has been going on for two and a half weeks now. I can’t eat or sleep. I’m so exhausted, there’s so many emotions I am going through in one day and it’s getting so hard. My therapist has put me on Prozac to help me get used to the Lamictal which I was put on mid-December. I don’t know how to reach out to my friends or family either. I’ve tried to talk to my boyfriend about it but i just feel as if he doesn’t know what to say or how to deal with it, which is okay because bipolar is so hard to understand (I don’t even understand it tbh..) I just feel unsupported by everyone in my life right now. Anyone I’ve supported and been there for has pretty much dropped me and don’t really talk to me when things get bad. I’m just so exhausted and I just want one day where I’m not going through a million emotions. I’m so tired. I just want to turn off for a while. I’m so tired.",1.874390394088668,3.0404501921182288,3.541376231527096,92.27048799261084,76.63546798029556,7.636576354679804,24.51016009852217,8.278499904357787,1.1516209359605911,731,24,178,13,16,244,106,203,0.139,0.7759999999999999,0.085,-0.9459,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,22,6,0,0,6,1,14,9,1,3,0,30,36,22,0,3,12,0,4,0,1,0,7,1,0,0,9,7,1,0,6,0,0,5,6,3,0,6,3,6,17,3,28,33,2,24,0,0,0,0,7,9,0,4,9,115,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184502225002653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967420932100642,0.08007152650631691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16942354563881135,0.1354191023847573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13440683893314428,0.0,0.2955087316050553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675737096075198,0.0,0.0,0.12551335291911578,0.0,0.0,0.12382785159999145,0.0,0.1328319755009273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11172873453139093,0.0,0.0,0.10148294731534324,0.0,0.2058794524466827,0.0,0.22395269019274186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353328485540982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804309968561544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14437626949668433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277845850770157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317125361754528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655951667174484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17801628862139454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13363315129329242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640919476682635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414804997133371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217468389235576,0.0,0.10445712147230783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144779077991242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14905774752762915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111530179658424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15251087490315435,0.08726504959905784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659294936687344,0.3019417387879628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918001673841389,0.14287426809749518,0.12831272556508794,0.2734860635500657,0.0,0.11344675700881167,0.0,0.0,0.15495072183544462,0.0,0.10536339677007102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,mergirla,2019/02/13,"Popped my spontaneous ""I quit my job"" cherry They say we can't hold down jobs. It makes me feel like shit. This job was horrible and not even worth being paid to do. Still I wish I could've given a full 2 weeks, but they didn't know what I was struggling with. I was about to lose it. There were so many major factors that were cracking before hitting my bipolar d/x, but I was too scared of how I'd react one second longer. So I've officially joined **that** club. What do I do now guys? I can't really afford therapy. I'm not mentally ready to get a new job quite yet. What would be the best types of jobs for us? who has had the best experience health-wise and where at? I live in a major city, but the bustle of it is pretty triggering as well. I just am defeated that my life is this way at this point in time. ",-0.13778516057585932,2.0550887209302324,1.8740531561461824,96.21468992248064,89.11627906976744,5.369213732004429,15.748615725359912,6.868970318607317,-0.3074709856035436,628,13,147,9,21,208,117,172,0.133,0.745,0.121,0.2244,6,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,2,0,2,6,13,9,1,2,6,0,20,3,1,4,0,19,29,9,0,2,6,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,1,13,4,0,1,2,1,2,0,5,5,1,2,10,2,19,4,15,15,5,15,0,2,0,0,7,8,1,0,7,97,32,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970171672248087,0.0,0.27058789309561504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10293240378699793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08515067087769791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610883362881278,0.0,0.0,0.06518599919902329,0.09210071901817468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673555583870749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276514087016409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703629634852735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6396677399854913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085124912339452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106025110538886,0.06298396772182993,0.0,0.11383902507044902,0.0,0.0,0.1442288876140834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08605533024043595,0.13070499326550533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299213836653157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245120709196126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735976110967587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12187139516285632,0.0,0.0,0.1311583368434765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742453084518962,0.0,0.0,0.08258967311665766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252263148158336,0.12907175398624865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13233487976973854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295595269833574,0.0,0.0,0.1347755344322217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14743164809112486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517448893237291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15507529945537785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023309677692257,0.10341212304581404,0.0,0.11591487134399248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14825203239034207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915813129800918,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,momsbiryani,2019/02/13,"What should I know about taking propanolol? I get hand tremors from taking lithium so my doctor prescribed me 10mg of propanolol. Will there be bad initial symptoms? What have your experiences been taking it? I'm new around here so thanks for any help you can give me. ",3.0838666666666685,6.0496787199999975,2.056000000000001,95.16466666666668,81.8,4.133333333333334,24.333333333333336,5.46131890053228,0.2991333333333337,216,8,41,1,6,61,42,50,0.063,0.754,0.183,0.7705,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,0,6,3,1,0,0,3,14,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,7,1,5,10,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,25,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182730585267626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2392069989183529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22435987118972564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750339200945608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26284788559401634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403887863807977,0.2577691010307865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801092401477236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14767483361708164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595197626558248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792903928071905,0.6061046953564225,0.0,0.0,0.2473901307602659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,immapunchayobuns,2019/02/13,"Afraid and unmotivated I am 1.5 months into college. I'm finding it really hard to push past my fear of failure and lack of motivation to get to class. I feel like I'm such a disappointment, especially to my partner who tries his best to encourage me to go to class. My family has been so supportive of me going back to school and all I want to do is stay home. It's not even that I don't like going to school - I actually love it. I like what I'm studying and I'm excited to see what I will do after graduating. However, I'm also scared that if I try hard I will find that my best isn't good enough. I'm scared that I'll never amount to anything, or that I can't handle ""normal"" life. It makes me want to just ditch everything and be a blob. At the same time, I know that I HAVE to earn money and whatnot, and that this new education will help me get to something stable. I'm just having a really hard time getting to classes (still doing the homework though). How do you find motivation or the strength to follow through?",4.5878490703609165,4.7252901327014225,6.175071090047393,79.69915785636168,69.47393364928911,9.525483047757927,28.55304411228581,9.466822959209583,2.2541874589865114,802,26,171,16,13,276,117,211,0.121,0.6859999999999999,0.193,0.9467,1,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,6,11,16,0,4,6,0,17,2,0,4,2,30,39,14,0,5,6,0,4,3,1,3,1,0,2,1,15,8,0,0,7,0,1,5,5,5,0,0,1,5,22,11,24,34,7,17,0,1,1,1,7,2,0,3,12,112,37,11,0.0,0.0,0.12333416120760528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107055713264528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400461964039047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718276207702843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26526788063570794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13059015951217715,0.0,0.08347652860600828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11358727112870702,0.0,0.1191451410046006,0.14221899142681946,0.06390438114884779,0.09028993226368397,0.0,0.0,0.3465425781136873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980938542885264,0.0,0.21548362913998664,0.10600628530920986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396501481092596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471363583381011,0.0,0.12677510991139826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945824693166952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926992092859948,0.18523693104436686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406798184550328,0.0,0.0843634015148637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008798185329387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747640325141403,0.1220640465046137,0.0,0.0,0.12383110093504507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12064940195630584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193176493901834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530681638277667,0.2558180465925069,0.1007129983395996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729784656010126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13471028474096594,0.10093174184059714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434209357388928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417325757426377,0.0,0.14739297556019293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17161511779134664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14909105959042548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Imnotwhoiam669,2019/02/13,"Is blocking out the majority of my childhood a thing? I feel like I can't remember anything before maybe 12, and it's concerning (I'm 20F) I have pretty much no actual memory of my childhood. I know facts about it, but I'm not sure how much of it is just based on hearing stories from my family. I don't remember being excited for my first day of school, or when my little brother was born. I barely remember any of the houses I lived in(there were a number). I don't remember what my relationships with my siblings were like, or conversations with my parents. I literally don't have almost any memories from before I was like 12/13. The exception being of my dad. I do have some clear, distinct memories of him being an abusive asshole. I remember things being thrown at me, being called fat, being yelled at. But even these I only have a few. I also have trouble with dates and when things happened. I have a hard time answering questions like ""when did you start this medication"", or ""when was your last dentist appointment"" I have BPII, severe ADHD, and I suspect I disassociate sometimes but haven't really discussed that with my doctor. I had a rough upbringing, and have a lot of lasting issues resulting from it. It makes resolving these issues difficult because I don't have clear ideas of what my childhood was like. I also feel incredibly guilty and sad because my mom died when I was 14, and I don't have as clear memories of her as the rest of my family does. Overall this is becoming a real issue. I plan on discussing it with my therapist next session.",5.311311920741449,6.6398735604026875,6.53556088207095,73.4806599552573,68.42953020134229,9.837264301693834,31.97571108980505,10.07000556051586,3.447110706295942,1243,53,216,31,21,419,154,298,0.138,0.763,0.099,-0.9175,1,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,2,0,3,11,11,0,0,12,0,36,4,1,3,6,48,45,22,1,0,9,4,4,5,0,0,4,2,0,0,16,12,1,1,13,0,0,0,9,3,0,1,9,6,43,8,29,30,7,23,0,1,0,0,15,6,0,7,22,167,59,3,0.0,0.1133361641971238,0.0933460011554638,0.0,0.11495936126936845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095785198295321,0.0,0.0,0.1529913894173467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009808441318862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871635279363946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662144942884407,0.10564402027305088,0.16279162543564007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767499352001216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06168990501952445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927534058038387,0.0,0.0,0.09790749069332637,0.08370880102301702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317957700781815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803510456630492,0.0,0.09673262262705047,0.06833633146639402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08136454700206948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458787140268187,0.0,0.08568856837777544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781073705811026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037364144321322,0.0,0.10798345285916923,0.0,0.2995185712446919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052569779004102105,0.15594405177555018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23366230693911755,0.09587197308458624,0.08446558760838997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132291298054732,0.0,0.0,0.06385081066088054,0.0,0.09609883928299363,0.0,0.0,0.09636288543040283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203060346169474,0.0,0.0,0.14063564517555607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017307439061086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275034280097765,0.0,0.0,0.10621414867195683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973160652453547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10715608809591268,0.0,0.0,0.1088769375434256,0.061279383461570115,0.0,0.0,0.10269824372438716,0.5417953564430329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680850560379912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806352435819552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460576745885864,0.0,0.06770547817593403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015420725944903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106344577721908,0.1906478559751054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05577751018953137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Bi_Everything,2019/02/13,"Has anyone gotten out of an episode by using LSD? I was in the midst of a horrible mixed episode and impulsively took half a hit. It was a partly beautiful partly scary trip, and definitely a stupid thing to do when I was already so messed up, but I felt great the next day, and over the next weeks finally started to stabilize after almost three months of bipolar hell. It might be a coincidence and I'm definitely not recommending you do this, but I'm wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience, especially after reading things like [this](https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/feb/10/amanda-feilding-lsd-can-reset-the-brain-interview)",7.807013274336281,9.786651681415933,7.6709623893805325,65.2237887168142,63.15929203539825,11.313716814159292,34.47898230088495,11.20814326018867,4.522452212389381,532,23,81,16,8,170,81,113,0.13,0.7240000000000001,0.147,0.4355,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,0,2,5,2,0,10,0,10,1,0,1,0,14,19,9,0,1,4,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,3,0,2,7,1,4,2,12,9,2,16,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,4,11,55,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18232655425434613,0.0,0.20092951639057646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546287699710218,0.1865622067337465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032612027754037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742636664810475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15210425547802886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17810892018347102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17482510048874758,0.1994594508158243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007435517530399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895496181357658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19315782608844825,0.0,0.0,0.14533430814412626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3872877298002767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3943492211241852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18212900937614787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288769743097551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419313719624243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022972862935556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15725843103242734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460533813498214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974577067053301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,DistinctParsley,2019/02/13,"Hello I'm new to this particular sub, but have been a member of the other one for a little while now. I was diagnosed bipolar 2 in September of last year. Before that it was depression, anxiety and OCD. I've been going through a really bad depressive episode here lately. I'm on Cymbalta, Buspar and Seroquel. The Seroquel actually helps...not so sure about the other two. I'm often overcome with feelings of hopelessness and, to a degree, don't want to leave my house. The OCD has been kicking in hard, too. I wake up every morning with this sense of dread and anxiety which I have to grit my teeth through. I'm unemployed and nothing that I used to like doing brings me joy anymore. I'm married, and my husband is awesome, but I feel like such a burden. Anyways, it's good to know that there is a community for us.",4.1355416666666684,5.573052137500002,5.540000000000003,79.09166666666668,71.375,8.583333333333334,30.833333333333336,9.075114841892004,2.743770833333333,642,28,120,13,12,216,104,160,0.189,0.667,0.14400000000000002,-0.8009999999999999,2,0,0,0,0,1,24.0,1,0,0,0,9,11,0,1,10,0,12,4,2,1,1,17,24,10,0,1,2,1,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,10,8,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,6,0,2,5,3,10,5,21,19,0,13,0,3,0,0,3,5,0,1,8,82,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.1846201842096261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894565838110576,0.0,0.18762364636162907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15796406640913474,0.0,0.0,0.16098504222830942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258946712477362,0.19202182400568035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15939903830693822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913182609584232,0.13515593541627854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751989261385032,0.15868190718240094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16947527567053214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21829753565121526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397276973260657,0.15421345964916225,0.2134122893140314,0.20032276120236625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18485538798003895,0.1896160640233339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18271893634660333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18153097555438286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819867593206202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119866864018505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783074384064073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18480917280174508,0.0,0.2275698537566802,0.16339767725691276,0.0,0.0,0.11158797617823088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121830860587515 bipolarreddit,pigglesbaby,2019/02/14,"In the emergency room right now. Came here as I think I’m having lithium poisoning. Told my psychiatrist I didn’t want to be on this and I feel like he totally dismissed me. Now I’m suffering physically and mentally... Nauseous, migraine, chills, weird thoughts, throwing up. Felt awful all day and listened to my body. Something is wrong so I’m in the emergency room with my fiancé, baby, and brother close to midnight. I told my new doctor that I didn’t want to be on lithium and he told me I needed to be on it. Fighting off the shakes and just want to be home, without a migraine, and without a knot in my stomach. Has anybody else experienced lithium poisoning? ",2.5761867266591665,5.244076748031496,4.021872890888638,82.38498031496063,80.73228346456693,6.778177727784027,31.118672665916762,7.957251820313856,2.6045775028121487,525,28,94,10,14,173,76,127,0.196,0.7559999999999999,0.048,-0.9674,0,0,1,0,2,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,5,8,3,1,5,1,9,7,2,0,2,23,25,9,0,4,3,1,2,1,0,0,5,1,3,0,3,10,0,0,4,0,0,3,4,7,0,0,8,4,13,1,18,13,2,19,0,1,0,0,8,12,0,0,5,62,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071315915616532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21327762399598904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202608927685258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19086497597587526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15577586260925935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428731940248712,0.13321771573604213,0.1790451604972941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870495428577816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110222371053407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187922853824234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826878582771365,0.0,0.18009863382501534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924855757276213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355749904561682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194855952879403,0.0,0.1480402521715129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5345543142605362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3299632068163251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35951032521694504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20388104500648352,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Bootstrapbill22,2019/02/14,Everything feels like a distraction Whenever the people or the stuff or the music or whatever is gone I just feel dead,4.836818181818182,7.434240863636365,5.863636363636362,72.61545454545455,72.18181818181819,11.672727272727276,29.181818181818183,11.20814326018867,4.462381818181818,97,4,16,4,2,32,18,22,0.261,0.644,0.095,-0.6597,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,4,3,1,0,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,11,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4298975869132273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4837221455552635,0.3417233605228026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23369082606962266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316179800424928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5475803216533932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,baboperson,2019/02/14,"Loved Ones with Bipolar I am unsure if there already is a post on how to cope with loved ones with bipolar. Please let me know if there is. My husband was hospitalized about 5 months ago and it's been a roller coaster since with finding which meds work, finding a permanent psychiatrist, going to therapy, etc. His bipolar is affecting our marriage and it's like he's completely forgotten his life skills. We are seeing a marriage counselor very soon. Right now I am the only one working but luckily I make enough for the two of us to be living okay. It just gets overwhelming when I have to literally do everything on top of working full-time. We got a puppy as an ESA, which has helped tremendously. I only agreed to get the puppy to help him when I am at work and he did say he'd do most of the work of caring for the puppy, but I am the one that ended up caring for the puppy a majority of the time. I grew up with no pets. He grew up with dogs his whole childhood, so getting used to a dog was difficult when he just got out of the hospital. It's fine now since I've caught on quick with caring for a dog. It gets so exhausting with his mood changes. The smallest things upsets him and keeps him in a depressed/unhappy mood for awhile. For example: I was tired from work and didn't feel like going out to get food. Initially I did agree to get food but thought he was going with me, but I forgot his back had been hurting all day. I got home and didn't feel like going back out. He got so upset because he was hungry and he didn't want to eat what was at home. He has zero cooking skills and will always order food or grab fast food. He doesn't like going out in public, which I understand. But when he gets upset, I can't do anything at all. If I go to a different room, he says I don't care about him. If I want to do something to lighten the mood, he tells me to stop because I am not doing it appropriately for his bipolar at the moment. When it gets too much, I break down and start crying. He automatically makes me feel guilty by saying, ""I'm always the bad guy. You can never do anything wrong."" Anything I say is used against me when he's upset. He somehow finds ways to twist what I say to have a different meaning. When he is back in a good mood, we reflect on his behavior and how I reacted. He is reasonable when he's happy. He admits he was an asshole. I know it's his bipolar, but I don't know what to do anymore and am exhausted of this endless cycle. I've told him before when he's experiencing an episode, I always feel like he's gas lighting me. I honestly can't tell the difference between bipolar and gas lightining anymore with him. TLDR: I just want to know if there is some support group for people with loved ones living with bipolar",4.115159390483317,4.8443120355239815,5.299703187809669,83.4548777694681,70.74067495559504,8.199850425352905,28.314901374217072,8.371475516178862,1.8449886323268208,2168,76,449,32,38,721,240,563,0.107,0.76,0.133,0.9514,2,0,1,0,0,0,56.0,5,1,0,9,31,33,0,5,29,1,50,20,0,9,3,84,102,39,0,8,16,1,5,5,0,1,11,5,4,1,17,31,6,3,17,2,0,9,11,11,0,7,23,13,55,18,71,75,9,62,0,2,1,3,64,22,0,9,32,292,72,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05487969097302409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831948767140764,0.0,0.15454283385316614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279664161323375,0.0,0.0,0.15284055355391524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14281545572792118,0.05169246314834055,0.07547981350919811,0.0,0.05268105305207376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252486456974344,0.0,0.06549282331974994,0.0,0.06491170716717011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06800548990250478,0.03992698212102818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19404906690438575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06334962988518904,0.0,0.0,0.05483409537148184,0.06396982601204873,0.06904628115091976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05564093036128991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521470710412136,0.13268606024657498,0.0,0.0,0.16975450914915413,0.0,0.299448424520831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587643548892167,0.0,0.21111009154168944,0.05192737073562899,0.1980610933195386,0.0,0.0,0.061300869620803285,0.0,0.06590460009082615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299425569859374,0.0,0.1242020341193363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627619076357925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05502866457522436,0.0,0.0,0.13609699193013072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633074134049493,0.043729032350093414,0.1512310766010037,0.0,0.10933574967298024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676292221280722,0.0,0.08265112986843713,0.0,0.0,0.06743839932600462,0.06876831830028346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04941616170609997,0.0,0.045511148774880834,0.0,0.0477489925700857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20975989925835906,0.09417105231055184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04292076414427588,0.0,0.0,0.06795885056840288,0.0,0.0,0.05929289490464864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06365403630532537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052871005400279836,0.0,0.24616753271886985,0.0,0.0,0.04933444453243955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242557808649018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04766152625164921,0.0,0.0,0.04382038545481003,0.0,0.0,0.05175973153619401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025500497108042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10822455449226867,0.0,0.07079975324626417,0.0,0.04113041150207231,0.0,0.0,0.049149813921815916,0.0361003579335719,0.07115671178243517,0.0,0.0591578859839873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0604773070970846,0.06445074165188779,0.07447039409913653,0.10694113670447984,0.0,0.051082430520501966,0.109548788104461,0.04914146563046344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06912057033411938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27042834581687536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768912695882523,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,srakes19,2019/02/14,"Manic and proud of myself for starting a big journey! How has your Thursday been? I'm finally moving away from Northern Virginia and slowing down my world to a pace I'm more comfortable with. I'm driving all my stuff and my bikes in my old 2 door jeep (most maniacal idea I've had in a while) to Florida on Wednesday, first move and 1,000 mile road trip of my life. 🙃 2 months ago me wouldve been shi**ing bricks at the idea but I'm really starting to sort it all out since I started Lamictal and Hydroxyzine again. Hope all you beautiful people are having a good week going into a long weekend!",3.941951447245565,5.382085529411764,4.8372549019607884,83.93209150326798,71.85714285714286,7.97796451914099,29.188608776844074,8.515128840125781,2.1518900093370674,474,19,93,8,9,154,89,119,0.01,0.8370000000000001,0.154,0.9573,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,2,2,5,1,0,6,0,6,1,0,1,3,18,15,8,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,8,0,0,2,2,0,6,0,1,0,1,3,0,10,4,16,12,5,34,0,0,0,0,2,12,0,3,16,55,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729184975388682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18327544136940813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136905304154075,0.0,0.16592712593457656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086323312396712,0.16361613503185454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937493230987396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4404223864469634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377842775485666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17263152271197355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557036543911446,0.4146587857704554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046939939917912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352375335476373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496735189298765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16136458458714553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4142163565467841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233093999008671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15647403220028835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,SparklePonyParade,2019/02/14,"Wow. Latuda Lactation. I'm on 60mg Latuda, 50mg trazodone. I've been taking that for about 3 months now. I'm now randomly lactating. I can't find much about this with Latuda. Has anyone else experienced this? My psych is a little confused about it, saying the Latuda should have less side effects. Im about to get a blood panel done. Im also getting an MRI because of my past history with breast cancer. Co-morbid diseases are dumb. ",1.4398716577540114,4.097182035294118,3.2495187165775405,85.52828877005348,87.47058823529413,5.44385026737968,20.668449197860962,6.980632752743323,0.8485294117647064,343,11,62,5,11,114,66,85,0.119,0.8340000000000001,0.047,-0.7102,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,7,3,1,1,4,0,8,4,2,1,0,7,13,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,2,3,1,10,10,2,7,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,2,4,34,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052516671664564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794633023134406,0.2629794717315823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15645813149223414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26265326030016545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144072878105712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345834564153274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681895037924712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5544757335650287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572416968705275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20486431978564207,0.0,0.18867532836485373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24501191639488076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20410708724686655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19297709083997452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,AllVicesNoVirtues,2019/02/14,"Microdosing antidepressants? So me and my psych have been working on addressing my negative symptoms and she suggested microdosing an SSRI. I've had bad experiences with SSRIs (and every other antidepressant out there) in the past, they always make me manic. Does anyone have experience with this? I'm also on lithium, trilafon, seroquel, ativan, and adderall.",7.196954022988503,10.841828120689659,8.117931034482758,54.078505747126464,69.51724137931035,10.763218390804601,35.5287356321839,10.504223727775694,5.51488735632184,293,15,34,10,6,98,48,58,0.123,0.877,0.0,-0.8205,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,1,0,8,6,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,6,0,6,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,28,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434733946156788,0.2533318245510786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128827503640079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542080861028592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664315426103518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565173547108678,0.0,0.0,0.5956328783638387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032267787066048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2906377513493032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31644641194500256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22164763175369825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,coolkatzen,2019/02/14,"[Help] Depakote side effects (x-post from r/bipolar) Please help. Just started depakote on Friday. 250mg/2 day. I feel lethargic. I sleep as much as I can and can’t get enough. I feel sick. Drinking water makes me want to vomit. I get mild visual/audio hallucinations, but I have a feeling that’ll pass. My muscles are pretty shaky and I feel week. How long will this last?",1.035300896286813,3.6315440281690137,1.8850192061459656,93.04419974391807,94.6338028169014,3.1451984635083226,21.94750320102433,4.851557810540192,-0.0469267605633803,290,11,55,1,11,90,58,71,0.091,0.7490000000000001,0.16,0.5574,0,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,0,6,5,1,3,0,13,15,6,0,1,2,0,4,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,5,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,4,9,0,5,13,2,8,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,5,29,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413267131071515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341251281430736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469467924380365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4833743064989259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497311288026407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203880096795901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19481366738670425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115039707358319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15953170959497248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17568958539937665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623458779219126,0.0,0.0,0.22889213749480455,0.24314488882690125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391686356746705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916262410070548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14096605396829534,0.0,0.1917082037364893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,nodfvther,2019/02/14,"manic paranoia / work rant I keep fucking up at work (already 2.5 months in) small mistakes but consistently enough that I truly believe everyone hates me and complain about me and my “boss” (postdoc) thinks I’m incompetent (I sure as hell feel fucking incompetent) and on the verge of getting canned any minute.I try so fucking hard, I feel nauseous starting basic experiments. I have hours long sobbing sessions when I get home (when I should be studying). It’s a mixture of this very long manic episode and I think my medications are making me a bit scatterbrained and forgetful. it’s all just a giant fucking mess. ",4.577076167076168,7.435108738738741,4.822932022932028,78.45759213759214,74.22522522522524,6.91924651924652,33.514332514332516,8.00094639256281,2.8880558558558564,494,26,80,8,11,155,81,111,0.277,0.669,0.054000000000000006,-0.9798,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,5,11,6,0,4,0,5,5,0,2,2,19,20,10,0,2,2,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,4,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,10,0,0,0,3,13,1,8,18,3,14,1,1,0,4,1,7,6,0,7,46,17,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768527629889787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898344660360827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18056004742829695,0.0,0.0,0.17496426094967998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16559316914915562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15313691518260136,0.0,0.15676668721085732,0.0,0.0,0.16206625424891236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5926374096970264,0.16746023969516294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14356299800202482,0.15822524240245325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16075554465881034,0.0,0.15782548499193805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424479559994576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836531096921596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069759242904232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16144679495079942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279193540804531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343405091382963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15104474869508167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20537844312187728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880716944956638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223268039119315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333448419006469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,amalthead,2019/02/14,Experiences with lithium? Psychiatrist says I can stay on 200mg Seroquel but she thinks lithium would be a better treatment for me. I've done too much reading about the side effects and I'm a bit freaked out. What are you experiences with lithium? Has anyone switched over from Seroquel?,4.098333333333333,7.2446085769230795,3.9015384615384616,82.5267948717949,78.61538461538461,5.7743589743589725,33.666666666666664,7.1686216300943375,2.48041282051282,234,13,39,3,6,71,44,52,0.055,0.86,0.086,0.3798,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,1,0,8,8,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,1,8,5,2,5,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,26,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20563344207879167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26009728451256153,0.32106835661377703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009545310517496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5753497584178265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161888068862614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941679772060325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23387089372703504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134590969234779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884399672799516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089119563732311,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,LateOption,2019/02/14,"Scary false memories and deja vu as well as horrible akathsia. Extreme trigger warning! So I have these false memories that I was a child rapist/molester, serial killer, and robber. If these were true I would be in prison by now. Except I'm hallucinating thinking its real. I went to the hospital because it was so intense. I was taking 200mg of Seroquel. Also I have dejavu that I have been in this exact moment in my life. I was telling my psychiatrist and different nurses about this stuff. I'm on 3 antipsychotics right now and I have horrible akathsia. I can vision my own death and I'm really scared for my life. I've never had these memories before! I was very suicidal as well. I'm afraid for my life.",2.206943430656935,4.906930547445256,4.028207116788323,81.43311359489053,82.94160583941607,7.220620437956206,24.62089416058394,8.278499904357787,2.0648251824817514,563,22,101,13,16,189,85,137,0.243,0.685,0.07200000000000001,-0.9827,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,2,2,0,15,3,0,1,3,14,22,12,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,10,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,2,0,9,0,16,3,14,11,1,10,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,4,72,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17503224786133373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13342263587589193,0.0,0.18624436474180836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22867516308392735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.463788328762149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688079541516847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24912480618759675,0.14021531898865305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18691590702073516,0.0,0.0,0.21912954095415374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25055663151986624,0.23941097508279274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16456487034557754,0.0,0.19130419983209085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402446512518855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805927230109525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3935853006239464,0.202896987176656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548073419258152,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,dontlookback76,2019/02/14,"Thank God for my wife So today I was supposed to go get our niece's car, take my kids to the doctor, go to best buy (my kids cashed out some stocks they got when they were born and wanted to get a few things), and run a few other errands. I get easily overwhelmed just taking my kids to school. I can power through that but just barely. All this other activity plus driving a car I want no responsibility for in the rain had me going bat shit crazy. Add to that I don't have my buspar right now. So I start ugly crying cause I can't just power through it. My wife holds me, tells me it will be okay, and calls in sick to work to handle things. Thank goodness that her boss is very understanding and they have a very liberal call in policy. So here's to all the spouses who deal with us and are extra supportive through all our emotions.",3.1606072874493947,4.4377218128654965,4.169239766081873,88.5996356275304,73.56140350877193,6.8989653621232545,21.92577597840756,7.321109707123232,0.5387090418353577,654,15,142,7,13,212,108,171,0.132,0.748,0.12,-0.8447,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,3,0,3,4,9,8,1,1,7,1,12,3,1,2,3,23,28,11,0,2,4,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,11,9,0,1,1,0,2,7,3,2,0,0,4,0,23,6,20,22,8,17,0,1,0,0,18,5,1,1,5,97,34,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16920359207597366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292728782589733,0.0,0.0,0.16563022097107913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17710636236408678,0.0,0.16622365784684187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650283255821259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181364893977476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527120255454045,0.0,0.2748964857462256,0.13523419581717994,0.12895238242517768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13769169892606956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16317592728369046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16550287418860662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412121398463294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18296476337626685,0.0,0.0,0.2424535925550444,0.0,0.1409243370798335,0.2968825011174849,0.0,0.0,0.214231456140182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528295852000134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678487490053793,0.19394288051783068,0.0,0.0,0.2660674443540503,0.19019824615522812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737920148414382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,doyoulikemyladysuit,2019/02/14,"Is it my bipolar, or does it sound like something different I should explore with my pdoc? I've been having a lot of trouble lately. I'm on a solid cocktail of meds, and I take them regularly. But in the last month I've been having stuff go on that I can't tell if it's a result of bipolar or just stress generally, and it would be really really helpful to know if what I'm experiencing is within the norms of breakthrough symptoms, or if I should consider looking for answers outside of my bipolar. The following things I've been experiencing for about six weeks, increasing over the first couple of weeks and then the level at which I'm experiencing them has kind of evened out.... ⦁ Difficulty concentrating. Sometime it feels like there is a fuzzy border closing in around my vision if I'm trying to focus on something. My brain gets fuzzy and my thoughts feel like they are just entitities taking space in my brain, growing and pushing the limits of what my mind can contain (like my thoughts are swelling my brain....fucking weird. I know.) ⦁ Often feeling like I want to break into tears for seemingly no reason. Much of the time it is because of aforementioned feeling of fuzziness and there not being room in my mind to think straight. ⦁ Feelings of being completely out of control of my own life, that it is driven by external factors only. ⦁ Becoming more and more preoccupied with my self-image, again and while all of my measurements are stagnant, am experiencing the physical feeling of being larger, fattier, and I look significantly different in the mirror. ⦁ Headaches along my orbital sockets frequently (every 2-3 days), which almost always provokes fuzz brain. ⦁ Significantly diminished desire to do anything at all, including hobbies, taking dog for walks, exercising, chores, errands, sex drive diminished - all coupled with physical feeling of absolute physical exhaustion. ⦁ Sporadically becoming really tired, sometimes to point of barely being able to keep my eyes opened. Eyes water and vision becomes blurry when this happens. ⦁ Significantly more jaw clenching. ⦁ Having more defensive responses which tend to come out snappy, when it's totally unwarranted. (This I can almost definitely attribute to my bipolar, I always get snappy when I have mood shifts.) Thanks in advance, I appreciate anyone/everyone's input. ",6.212512849800112,8.702087184466022,6.835882352941179,67.63558823529415,67.93203883495146,9.410165619645918,34.69046259280411,9.845776108104099,4.07177447173044,1888,93,279,47,34,618,225,412,0.056,0.841,0.103,0.921,2,0,2,0,0,0,60.0,0,0,3,5,13,13,1,1,13,0,29,17,6,5,4,74,62,23,0,9,11,0,8,5,0,3,9,1,2,0,19,22,2,5,16,2,0,11,3,5,0,2,6,17,31,7,55,48,12,52,0,0,4,1,5,25,0,13,20,192,50,0,0.08679187088877173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17381904327065995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444355786625448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142231459479331,0.0772631660361928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052907518920774485,0.287564407516995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3875537268277213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476351169322464,0.0909996253424318,0.0,0.09734446326433477,0.0,0.19206710866131654,0.0,0.05597357661092519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18135806474139932,0.0,0.0,0.07595215109486088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05732521216840442,0.0,0.07312589452648716,0.08293335201813694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071920440770736,0.18601238971432296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382512104034145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08023768609109419,0.0906903406740325,0.0,0.0493258203455385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674976479238549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05817476156262424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07714460269152211,0.0,0.09038037763772568,0.0953970848739102,0.07074695873104564,0.09790501075033607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613036651492995,0.21201062044758895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14576662491063738,0.0,0.0,0.07378734492295963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640620273071322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17527009603290244,0.0,0.06927644330066951,0.0,0.06380201150390392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600912880239969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820463716017533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668032847726484,0.0892364984393414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790120595824353,0.09054284994068837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13363324495468326,0.17167875914277486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09941979486396596,0.0,0.0993559273944619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902099858672649,0.19577005658025665,0.0,0.0758599206633483,0.07990629385877622,0.0,0.0,0.05766066246308218,0.055612726363377656,0.0,0.1378061014792588,0.050609037876979734,0.09975448798665908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05892598316544381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051192094150032834,0.0,0.13923840724404882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061654454898955324,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,green_lemons,2019/02/14,"I feel like things are catching up to me and I am tired I spent the last two years telling myself to not be sad or angry, and telling myself that depressive issues were simply unacceptable and disregarding the patterns because I managed symptoms so well for four years. Got into my dream school after five years, no self-confidence, not solod on resources, too much pressure, depressive cycling, poor performance, got kicked out. Took time off, made a bunch of promises. Three months back in the school (everyone was so happy) and I was kicked out again. The depressive episodes and ensuing nastiness fed (feed) off of my extreme guilt and fear from a lack of support structure and having ruined my opportunities already at this age and crashed my big dream. I was ""discouraged"" from working so I could not always comfortably cover psych and meds. All I wanted was to be free. Any money I receive came with strings attached with the subtext that I would do what 'normal people' do- get a degree to be a valid person with a future (*like your sibling* narrative). So I lied about school, lied about my health, trying the same things over because I wanted the help I recieved to be valid and prove myself as ""not problematic"". Then I hid the drop out. I am terrified of the person of influence who I lied to the most. I wrote a letter clearly explaining that I am not ""better"" than ""other people"" with mental illnesses and need to reevaluate my choices because continuing to try when I just keep cycling is stupid. I did not receive a good response. To me admitting my fear of failure, shame, and poor mental health- a sentence, and $50. No contact for a month. So I know what to expect. I hurt them by lying, since they put in alot of time and money to help me get this far. But they were really calculated and nasty in the past and I don't know if the rug will get pulled from under me by coming clean. Now I sitting in this place I won't have the money for soon, on a phone that will get shut off, havent seen my psych in two months, trying to imagine a future different from the only one I ever imagined, or not being homeless. I want to freak out, scream, and walk off but I need to get a job, move, and think about a new future. All the food I ate didn't make me feel better and frankly I'm more likely to get employed if I look decent so I should cool it there He even sent me a Valentines Day card before I sent that fucking awful letter. I feel like a piece of shit. I ruined myself",4.230111486486488,5.854403279166673,4.760292792792793,84.03993243243244,71.41666666666666,7.272522522522522,26.93130630630631,7.824948511530503,1.5916644144144143,1954,67,370,25,37,622,254,480,0.165,0.76,0.075,-0.9867,3,0,0,0,0,0,64.0,0,1,3,5,20,33,3,5,31,2,30,11,1,3,5,81,68,34,0,13,14,0,3,4,0,5,5,1,2,2,15,30,4,3,12,2,7,12,13,18,1,6,20,7,56,16,62,37,10,63,0,8,2,1,23,24,2,6,29,261,71,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544816721081403,0.0,0.07196985198813886,0.0,0.0,0.058818816617981176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650846858498001,0.0,0.15817763217541184,0.0,0.07359993659115945,0.0,0.0,0.1529936477950191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989259770340192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450683440326326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06905833945209516,0.0,0.0,0.05578140872543461,0.0,0.2234912027281396,0.0,0.0,0.09036771408510692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05712840386215176,0.07823868257797266,0.0,0.0826486261196161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946593638900901,0.13120174098505175,0.12358251597622864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458876474655146,0.0,0.0,0.07996221492404762,0.2711369506946805,0.0,0.0,0.07254697793740242,0.13835414314027206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920743627306741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838779377984352,0.0,0.0,0.11595007318492695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925935066803112,0.0,0.0,0.09027715765472773,0.08583184750233643,0.07687975066537256,0.0,0.0,0.09506956862084648,0.07050407102782211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16902619827958815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07263309024530265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184261758894132,0.0577353485274076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960752219849997,0.0,0.17433101113254276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20711581246595467,0.09192932523733853,0.06358296711933699,0.1282682587609036,0.0,0.08353634563167657,0.0,0.0,0.08474565561178543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05861050374039741,0.0657825069662929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256821259564008,0.1199279565023222,0.1510462709548093,0.09036771408510692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08695025722921026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05541020583887472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626093272866093,0.0,0.0,0.09023199919516006,0.0,0.08878474330981467,0.07154864619948763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098152250411015,0.0,0.08990027790711888,0.0,0.0,0.15119895838763808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492540498492,0.05542179734510352,0.0,0.0,0.1008705749371675,0.0994120119437605,0.0,0.0,0.09609790316176164,0.1761710373278952,0.0,0.16898394051271864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15304902599719966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07776840176961379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06296858785548604,0.0,0.0,0.061442783482791176,0.0,0.0,0.1670977034258406 bipolarreddit,moodslayer,2019/02/14,"Anyone here overcome Amphetamine abuse during depressions? I haven't used since last year, but I'm in a depression now. The cravings have been building over the last month, pretty severe cravings. I'll have anxiety attacks just thinking about it. The depression's making me tired, unmotivated, and well, depressed. I go to AA and NA meetings, but the meetings themselves don't help when I'm in depressions. It's like my body's craving the instant euphoria and dopamine if I go score. It really does help my depression temporarily and I'm able to quit fairly easily when summer comes from hypomanic energy, but I don't want to use because I know the stuff is dangerous. I'm also on meds and they help some, but don't solve it completely. I don't have this problem when the weather is good, summer hypomania replaces the need for stimulants. I have a SAD light lamp that I use maybe every other day, but it's not the same thing as the sun. I'm thinking instead of relapsing, I could go see if a 72 hour pysch hold will reset me? Probably not, the weather is still going to be shit and I'll be depressed. Or I could buy a plane ticket to somewhere warm and stay there for a couple months? ",5.203848253275108,6.447328825327514,6.017202510917032,77.41436271834063,68.60698689956331,9.218449781659393,31.343067685589517,9.516144504307137,2.946521615720524,947,39,173,20,16,311,135,229,0.276,0.621,0.103,-0.9936,0,0,0,0,1,0,26.0,0,0,1,1,12,16,3,0,16,0,18,3,2,5,0,35,38,20,0,7,11,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,10,8,0,1,3,1,1,5,7,12,2,0,1,3,15,4,15,32,2,24,0,8,1,0,6,4,1,4,15,104,25,0,0.10324009140383833,0.12232262636887105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256106379603183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897838734337967,0.0,0.0,0.07218787236125287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174505081953774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629342014798958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467646773706565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893219724197696,0.10824527161198813,0.0,0.0,0.16485762452653974,0.11423319748042525,0.0,0.06658131811581049,0.0,0.6224437761285666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034609971019768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08698422971636455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346948924545654,0.08659289047657953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20759897118079584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016706939000368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05673805427390751,0.16830890753114616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0504378938014694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891356268451009,0.0,0.10371854822658746,0.0,0.11467646773706565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16481051198123695,0.0,0.0,0.07655121962549791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503228844053553,0.11131027998181113,0.098786824594576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980854528202212,0.0,0.0,0.0661382461669251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08226898630916554,0.0,0.0,0.1166319171626456,0.10597447022606167,0.08540127046292241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100402009052368,0.08244767035576801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818520468193275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858812930445307,0.13230416383879404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865929783774384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674988741073924,0.0,0.0,0.06089368076851787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282524080858937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648323400471554 bipolarreddit,elcaminoavalhalla,2019/02/14,"When someone asks ""what's wrong with you"", what do you answer? Currently on a depressive episode. I look all wrinkly, fed up and messy. Coworkers and friends star asking me what's wrong. It really pisses me off because some know my diagnosis and ask me again and again when they know for a while that being depressed for a month is not your regular sadness. It also embarrases me because I don't want to show instability for professional reasons so I answer I'm sleepy or couldn't sleep well. In this cases, what is your approach? ",4.790399999999998,6.762781840000002,5.4510000000000005,78.24550000000002,70.6,8.6,30.5,9.188382445141503,2.7732,424,18,77,9,8,137,71,100,0.197,0.7509999999999999,0.052000000000000005,-0.9214,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,4,1,0,7,8,1,0,3,0,6,3,2,1,1,16,15,10,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,8,5,1,0,5,1,0,1,3,6,1,0,1,1,13,2,9,12,2,12,0,3,1,0,9,4,1,2,7,55,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15920568923465578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5583439870732475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427169046123913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34293782368748005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15381014898835035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21882036449595532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16717861995704542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15890523902352172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753693547106074,0.2046893061842369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19922563168394564,0.0,0.16868141151613122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742363737872465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789984983455926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4353295167948216,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,hestolemynickel,2019/02/15,"Too much stuff Im going through this episode where i keep thinking i have too much stuff. Doc said its a manic thing, but I'm really anxious about it. I feel claustrophobic in my own home. I have this feeling that i need to get rid of every physical object i own because I'm so uncomfortable. This feeling comes and goes every few weeks, and i dont have much in the way of possessions. Im ways trying to justify giving away or throwing away my belongings. Any ideas on how to cope?",3.132603092783505,4.854092814432988,4.466585051546391,84.63534149484539,74.4639175257732,7.73659793814433,26.55798969072165,8.472884824447931,1.8248773195876282,381,14,77,7,8,126,67,97,0.08,0.845,0.075,-0.3641,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,1,0,13,17,6,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,9,3,0,1,5,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,4,9,0,12,16,6,12,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,1,1,51,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10945805866132932,0.0,0.0,0.18183855114703368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3024537160627853,0.0,0.0,0.09811948815641136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13865245715074806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18864347160252248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712308378195864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24415805497215803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08409475618192891,0.15440713080616789,0.09147705928994053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614556190482549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18170381479212036,0.3477280129428857,0.0,0.0,0.14306830266330428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3549715148136197,0.11934951601479064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311485184307084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531094545341639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685205029496198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069344169419314,0.1031364228953585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092810138378347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555245028171336,0.12911209530499787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,nopentrance,2019/02/15,"Brother committed, diagnosed, home. Still manic? My brother 26 was committed for a manic episode, diagnosed bipolar and was released today. Immedietly drank with his buddies, took the brand new truck he bought during this manic episode and blew up at my dad for making payments on his over drawn accounts. He was committed for 20 days, but just started the bipolar medication about 10 days ago. He looks and sounds so much better, but he's still talking about how intelligent he is and that he has all of his finances in order and knows what he's doing. I'm afraid he hasn't actually accepted the diagnosis or realised just how much of a mess there is to clean up. He started his own company this year, and I'm scared to death all of his financial issues will get so much worse. He doesn't seem to care, says he feels amazing and is planning on furthering his business. I guess my question is how do I approach him about this without seeming overbearing or telling him what to do? Should I wait and see if the meds just havent kicked in yet? What do you wish your family and friends did differently?",6.474278846153848,7.1980151778846135,6.4778846153846175,77.11711538461539,65.49038461538461,9.66923076923077,35.230769230769226,9.661875296680813,3.3448153846153836,879,40,161,17,13,279,126,208,0.097,0.773,0.13,0.7682,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,2,0,2,15,8,0,2,6,0,18,6,0,4,5,38,37,19,1,3,9,3,1,0,1,2,5,2,2,0,7,10,1,1,6,0,3,2,4,3,0,0,7,5,16,5,23,28,6,23,0,0,2,0,29,9,0,7,11,102,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.14728439208354402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13378896131152526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13348394584980147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388161004964926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946727239736804,0.0,0.0,0.30637839233588304,0.0,0.1576881030991336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422819070624906,0.0,0.07631395743746905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660694336354208,0.0,0.07885388394882828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662646996316316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513935377822424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575300856935315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294632707072565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674188275055126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10074591001029516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676474796670725,0.15204453136022034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.332849322658098,0.0,0.0,0.14576763411417978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690744016658222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002435847267193,0.15110570461630113,0.0,0.12027043108024328,0.2747991784159311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136558624993528,0.0,0.24106330465737785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131056822026973,0.13191811467233308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14306251967195194,0.0,0.1676870574275133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17356026491689286,0.14548963652164715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15380898115065458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971929711557051 bipolarreddit,twandar,2019/02/15,"Finding the right meds I started treatment a year and a half ago. I know I am better with meds and I am really grateful for them. But I don't feel good yet. I've had a couple great days even one great month but it never lasts and then the doc just ups dose. I'm starting to feel like I'm on a hell of a lot of meds (400 lamotrigine, 300 quetiapine, 120 propranolol) to not be getting satisfactory results. I do trust my doc and follow all his directions, but how do you know when you finally have the right cocktail? How long did it take you to find it and once you did, how long did it work for you? 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Been taking stimulants for so long that now I realize, I was taking more than usual (for school), that I realize I was self-medicating. Bummer. Oh well, more espresso, less depresso.",7.583448275862068,9.327660620689656,7.1546551724137935,69.59336206896553,63.48275862068966,9.937931034482759,36.91379310344829,10.125756701596842,4.2030206896551725,268,13,40,6,4,84,46,58,0.099,0.774,0.126,0.1531,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,0,6,7,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,3,0,5,2,4,4,3,8,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,6,29,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827799459769509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25825212704962386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648689087075756,0.0,0.0,0.26534934928436554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3330551287681663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871642528943986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034545276367543,0.0,0.0,0.312798966164712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4508853825890212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992006615501879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3302318776883553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695925601870291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,RagingAmish,2019/02/15,"I need someone to talk to [self harm trigger warning] Had harsh side effects from a new med which interacted with my cornerstone med. Because of this I haven't taken them for a month. I've been cycling horribly for the last month. Two days ago it was my birthday and yesterday my girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me. I'm losing my mind and Ive lost my best friend and support system. These dark thoughts of ending my life are always in the back of my mind, but they've never been so present and loud as they are right now. . This is the only sub I feel comfortable reaching out to. If you did, thanks for reading",4.184937275985663,5.4288816693548405,4.438172043010752,87.78281362007168,71.01612903225806,7.124014336917562,28.293906810035843,7.3871296695380915,1.454531541218639,493,18,100,5,9,154,90,124,0.08900000000000001,0.7809999999999999,0.13,0.8142,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,2,4,3,9,0,0,5,0,10,1,0,2,1,18,18,8,0,2,2,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,1,5,7,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,4,0,2,8,2,15,5,17,10,1,19,0,3,0,0,8,5,0,2,13,64,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14856424382234476,0.0,0.16782375187058898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13945376903843218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12887141436219968,0.0,0.10216531123833793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17588225644014402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10808592034227284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14844081244099686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474185963211843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948469137825105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366135703461432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11837841119345673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874976881427073,0.18295145004173186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3723240064248109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33844951109479715,0.0,0.26754796050430124,0.0,0.0,0.12427073029935433,0.12926080392727554,0.16186580808800854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12746474085785728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16764192030602273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14312655188384074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748397700986192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200402675033044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901865973223882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13470777154281413,0.0,0.15430040093561168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13305295292010225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3274349850733135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792669382470507 bipolarreddit,f0rtyfikacja,2019/02/15,"Therapy for bipolar? Hi! I'm asking on behalf of my non-tech mum. She is over 50, she was diagnosed with bpd just last year. She started having symptomes after her thyroid was removed (due to the risk of cancer) and she is on thyroid hormones. She was always more on the ""maniac"" side and by this I mean never depressed, always energetic and doing more things at once than one person could be capable of. Then the ""first depression"" came, then again she was up with her mood and from that time the extreme swings started, finally causing a 3-months long deep depressive state. So she went to psychiatrist (some professor someone reccomended her) who prescribed her some meds (idk exactly what, but something more like a 1st generation lithium thing?). He told she does not need to go to the therapy as this is purely physical (like the ""chemicals in the brain"") thing, not managable with therapy. At first there was a huge improvement after just two weeks and it lasted about six months of really minor swings and neutral state. But now she is back at the deep depression state and I am worried that meds are not right. I know absolutelty nothing about bipolar other than what internet taught me, but I have a feeling that a) those meds might not be well-suited for her? b) she should at least try therapy? She obv does not want to go to any other doctor, she kinda feels uncurable at this point and even blames herself for the state, and blindly listens to the ""professor with years of experience"". Idk, can you hint me with things that worked for you so I can try and advise her on? Would therapy be useful? And if so, what type of therapy? Thank you in advance ",5.660660349422562,7.1880054495114045,5.803412792419309,78.30957284572106,67.79478827361564,9.230026650873556,30.89265620373112,9.573946990214177,2.9487537459283395,1311,52,232,28,22,415,174,307,0.067,0.858,0.075,0.6865,0,0,1,0,0,0,50.0,0,3,0,4,12,10,1,1,15,0,23,10,1,2,3,46,42,21,0,6,11,1,2,2,0,3,9,1,0,1,19,17,0,0,4,0,0,6,6,6,0,5,9,4,30,3,44,26,6,51,0,4,1,0,31,19,0,5,24,175,49,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442872477572039,0.0,0.0,0.05896083520876823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810553563027897,0.0,0.0,0.06666905391339949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919906371780423,0.09678893026189006,0.0,0.09916483474416067,0.0,0.08906759560434219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922508146791602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987077658100976,0.08800145429796588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874392656142782,0.15174830113459653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057266340935301516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481191501019977,0.0,0.0,0.08767901922231999,0.0,0.0,0.09497861181319267,0.0,0.14749860981469667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855032848453776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04764955749814272,0.14134860755249887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08471715681951303,0.0,0.0,0.07672919502098202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09444469978930503,0.2889215895600836,0.0,0.0,0.09197790381802967,0.0,0.0,0.13841059704015554,0.0,0.0,0.06428898184433464,0.0668704968325747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831936157863057,0.0,0.0,0.09233558662009086,0.0587520193577651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07570548680456553,0.0,0.0,0.08196211249681312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0555439943065953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07404366477397507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346294880204657,0.06674800385722282,0.0,0.0,0.12273728885303754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901173429810842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982423254798104,0.5949128247996727,0.0,0.2304057869312976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050557063948698085,0.0,0.0,0.08284818201153804,0.0,0.11773093597933615,0.0,0.08469597692018876,0.0,0.0,0.07488332798615968,0.0,0.0,0.051139521440857684,0.0,0.06954770683710486,0.0,0.07795617431353992,0.0803743070432805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312062610829837,0.08805083939649111,0.0,0.06159113766646907,0.0,0.0,0.11166744161077127 bipolarreddit,flounderingknitter,2019/02/16,"Meds and hallucinations I had my first visual hallucination while taking abilify. I also had my first auditory, and full visual (ie not just shadows or people moving out of the corner of my eye, but a demon sitting on me) then. I had the mild visual hallucinations continue until I stopped lithium. On no meds, I see words in the carpet, but just barely. On depakote, they’re back. I saw shadows moving in front of me a few times last night. I couldn’t sleep for hours because I was sobbing in terror. Wtf. How did meds make this worse?",2.646657754010697,5.277207676470589,4.453814616755796,79.64671122994655,80.07843137254902,6.062032085561497,22.998217468805706,7.348242739294969,1.1894196078431376,421,14,75,6,11,142,70,102,0.217,0.7829999999999999,0.0,-0.9758,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,1,5,0,6,2,2,2,0,14,10,10,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,2,6,3,13,0,12,3,2,25,1,1,3,0,0,9,1,1,12,55,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15156327433488284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14573321892320712,0.0,0.11553283358253788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32242016247771643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866441947678709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15448837473902322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650957638276653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6315594836203021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4028706949749651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17785660878245912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13139294522797676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102708671527654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18966212334880111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15845159577982296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424994016521519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051369767629736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19314242183375788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,CyborgSunset,2019/02/16,"Titrating down Desvenlafaxine -50 mg / Lamotrigine -50 mg - What can I expect? Stepping down off of Pristiq from 100 to 50 mg and Lamictal from 200 to 150. What can I expect when titrating down on these medications? ",2.9316666666666684,5.986849710526317,3.64842105263158,80.18561403508772,91.36842105263159,6.7438596491228076,27.385964912280702,7.793537801064563,2.5418280701754385,171,8,28,4,6,54,26,38,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,10,2,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,errantpea,2019/02/16,"A win but also a vent I just want to share that over the last year I've been 300% more active than I used to be. I've gone hundreds of kilometers on my stationary bike and when I bike I go hard 75% of the time -- drenched in sweat, heart pounding, out of breath. I started doing pilates to strengthen my core and my arms. I walk my two dogs through the woods 5 days a week. However, thanks to magic of seroquel, I'm still kinda fat. I'm right at the line of healthy/overweight on the bmi index (seriously if I lost 1/2 pound I'd be in the healthy category). I'm watching what I eat, getting loads of veggies, switched out most carbs for alternatives, even cut down on my one major weakness : potato chips. My fitness pal says I'm running a 300+ calorie deficit most days. But I look in the mirror and I don't see much improvement. My arms are a little more toned, I can see my cheekbones more clearly. But that's about it. I know that the exercise IS making me healthier. My heart, my lungs, my strength. But I wish I could see the results more. I wish I got to shop for new clothes, to show off my hard work. To top it off a friend of mine recently lost about 20 Pounds just by cutting out the insane amounts of candy and soda she was consuming. And everyone is gushing over how good she looks. I know this is a real pity party I'm throwing for myself. But I do crave that outside validation at times. Because I can't even share with the majority of my friends the reason I'm struggling with my size. Nothing makes the average conversation more awkward than tossing around the word ""antipsychotics"". Anyway, I just wanted to share how well I'm doing being active without anyone doubting it because of my size. I think my seroquel buddies will understand. 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Monday there was a two hour delay and my co-op teacher was sick. The sub said eight words all day and I was shakey to start. I barely got sleep trying to focus on knowing the content (my memory blows) and adjusting lessons every night and i had to skip a lot of breakfasts bc I would wake up dry heaving from the nerves. I got better almost every period it felt like and after a week of dread and wondering if I could handle of this I feel so relieved that I get a fresh start again on monday. Still a long way to go I had to gush somewhere. I havent been happy like this in a while. Just a reminder that things can work out even with a lot of highs and lows along the way.",2.7255732946298963,4.301048949685537,3.5032704402515726,91.7302031930334,75.22641509433961,5.898597000483793,21.664731494920176,6.297961479604792,0.22734310595065305,609,15,129,4,13,193,105,159,0.095,0.8190000000000001,0.087,-0.0597,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,5,6,7,0,1,12,0,11,4,2,0,1,26,23,10,0,3,2,0,2,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,7,10,1,1,6,0,0,1,1,2,0,5,11,3,13,5,20,10,3,31,0,1,0,0,1,8,0,5,22,86,20,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033447224881624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327786357833007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986735703164028,0.0,0.0,0.09682205058026004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09916008459981186,0.0,0.2529836214607145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591072540793553,0.0,0.1441492673697893,0.0,0.0,0.2554026394685165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07843723131110678,0.0,0.08532288557519799,0.0,0.2401468903564623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15981720091249055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15862160430296468,0.0,0.0,0.1478487561660624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08250805054923238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14669280942481105,0.0,0.0,0.13286117718175774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25527195061962304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14088773785385986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428089246757851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15023938496351028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21252693549896828,0.0,0.1198947803275042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128797995291602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974034027338108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10192906846375363,0.0,0.14665613516599674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383339395117958,0.4817040083969473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628106243240746,0.10929712851678998,0.0,0.0,0.10664872806358876,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,bpd11ss,2019/02/16,"Mixed state (TW) This inner tension keeps building. It is so impossibly tense I could swear it’ll snap at any given. Yet it never. ever. does. Mixed state makes me wanna rip my face off. And I am not a violent person. This horrifies me. I see the glass of water I am drinking from in my hand, and the thought flashes I want to smash this against my face. Not for the self-loathing. No no no. But for the shock of shards in that sensation, that might actually feel refreshing, against this numbing blunting nauseating depression. I can’t run from it. I want to quietly go quiet. Motel. Spend what’s left of my bank account at a motel. To quietly go quiet. ",0.7891918773311204,3.338454574803152,2.626290924160795,88.13871529216745,93.80314960629921,5.8232905097389125,23.219643597181932,7.273561745256523,1.3618125984251974,509,21,99,10,19,168,84,127,0.189,0.745,0.067,-0.9372,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,1,6,0,7,6,3,1,2,16,17,4,0,4,3,0,2,0,0,2,1,4,0,1,11,2,2,1,2,3,3,3,7,5,0,0,2,7,13,0,18,12,0,15,0,1,1,0,1,7,0,1,3,66,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.24763405271401734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725661276047201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026074461079384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21856390877431334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22206789137798708,0.0,0.0,0.24858909405653384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295412804556187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830914594240256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884363578048628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22555436553077496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757119823492197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16938738475465734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692002348826357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19571606556355284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22157424754985994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20221459890447,0.0,0.2647279830240732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20145782531095774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29934953096780365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,TrixieVanSickle,2019/02/16,"Generic Abilify has become too expensive. Any suggestions for an alternative? I'm in the USA and my generic Abilify is now $30 a month (up from $5) through Medicare. I also have the ""Extra Help"" program for those familiar with it. I'm on disability and on a very tight budget. It's been a good mood stabilizer for me but I need to explore cheaper alternatives that are NOT Seroquel with my pdoc. Any suggestions that I can look up prices for and ask my pdoc about? PS it really sucks that the US has such a shitty Healthcare system that I'm being priced out of a med that works for me.",3.708717948717952,5.1913797008547045,5.4150427350427375,79.39384615384617,72.5042735042735,8.960683760683763,29.23931623931624,9.444778638647367,2.6807367521367524,463,19,91,11,9,158,79,117,0.08,0.8859999999999999,0.034,-0.7992,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,0,1,5,3,1,0,9,0,8,0,0,0,0,11,15,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,1,1,0,4,1,1,1,0,0,1,2,9,1,18,13,1,10,0,0,1,0,5,6,1,0,2,63,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23153136531857374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3937710118750162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27066483671938363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31975530576872074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24283807932096685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194061102680588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431263249247249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215946830659701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231094423347916,0.0,0.0,0.21467756811468566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18547578883716004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3482604108992873,0.0,0.0,0.2388867207970178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107761255827067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,iloveufionaapple,2019/02/16,"i think i’m having an episode or some shit they want to put me back on meds and for a long time i was really really happy and fine without them now i’m so scared and freaked out because I’m feeling really overwhelmed by this illness or whatever I have literally all the symptoms and I just thought i was misdiagnosed for a long time and i don’t understand and there’s too much stuff online and i don’t know who i can trust online Or In the real world and i feel like it’s concrete that i am CRAZY and I thought i was doing so good and I was normal and I think that I’m just freaking myself out and it’s impairing my ability to function and i have STUFF to do! I’ve worked really hard to try to rebuild my life that I fucked up and I am not going to let anything ruin that!! I’m sorry if this is a little much, I’m just really upset right now. ",0.8203825136612011,2.719904071038254,3.2700819672131165,89.72566939890713,82.06010928961749,6.471038251366121,21.642076502732237,7.594959193182576,0.8317519125683059,667,21,148,11,18,231,99,183,0.179,0.701,0.12,-0.9174,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,2,1,10,13,2,3,6,0,16,5,1,0,1,38,33,20,0,3,9,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,11,16,0,0,8,0,0,2,4,8,0,0,6,3,23,5,15,26,4,17,0,2,0,1,3,8,2,5,8,104,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711818366235842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943618290328824,0.0,0.08675765484831667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14392370404503718,0.10167426126150042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13157361406689125,0.0,0.0,0.08088439193409189,0.11937223207138105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150351549025656,0.1274917997705272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821598453160954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14553302310046048,0.10052564040895401,0.06953092720341891,0.1426431859874044,0.0,0.2518994864167587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808671871898894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20924484858089049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394445138357145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430720697089206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619926319660024,0.4558728797930394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12154148837270218,0.0,0.0,0.14248830385013905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14609061995555642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593168805359156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258473438881475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14792617339443231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18238729834346093,0.0,0.22597419860176315,0.16597721949166466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09662672174668774,0.0,0.0,0.14816134113185392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394470437900599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719251426267032,0.0,0.10361149556330318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,InducedMania,2019/02/16,"Like what the fuck I can't fucking do anything like a normal person. I got into a huge fight with my parents today because I can't take 4 college classes at once. Realistically I can only take 2 because of my stupid high stress levels. My mom was telling me that when she's stressed she WALKS AROUND HER FLOOR ONCE. No Mom, you being stressed out teaching sixth grade isn't the fucking same and I've heard plenty of anxiety coping strategies, you aren't going to fucking fix me by telling me to take a walk. And it super doesn't help when you tell me that ""I have a right to be upset."" No fucking shit you do but that doesn't mean that you get to overrride any feelings I have and tell me that I don't really understand my own emotions and that your life is so much harder than mine. EVERYTHING ends up being about her feelings and how she has a right to feel stuff. No one is trying to take that from her, all I trying to fucking do is express what's wrong with me. When I fucking say that I'm dropping a few classes no matter what their input is, my mom immediately takes that and says ""obviously you don't care about me or my feelings!"" No mom that's fucking not what I said, I said I need to reduce my course load because of my fucking mental illness and I said that whatever your opinion on this one fucking thing is won't change the outcome. Then she goes on about how I'm so selfish and never think about her and how my plan for life is shit and how I just need to do whatever she tells me to have a real life. FUCK YOU and you trying to explain to me that I'm just getting in my own way and how I just need to commit to something and everything will be okay. YOU TEACHING SIXTH GRADE DOESN'T MEAN YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH. I'm so tired of her always thinking she knows exactely how to fix me and that it's so fucking easy to overcome this and ""just act like normal."" Stupid fucking rant over.",4.100525869380832,4.952774913486007,4.769109414758272,86.79546225614929,70.85750636132316,7.04359626802375,28.55046649703138,6.937597516519254,1.3436761662425791,1523,55,315,12,27,489,174,393,0.17,0.775,0.054000000000000006,-0.9936,1,0,1,0,1,0,27.0,0,12,1,2,23,30,18,4,10,1,31,20,2,6,5,59,79,31,0,5,7,5,4,3,0,2,5,6,0,1,24,20,0,0,12,0,0,5,17,24,0,2,6,10,60,6,41,67,6,29,0,0,0,13,45,15,15,2,10,216,84,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04777079234774383,0.0,0.0,0.03904164587222828,0.0,0.043919479657999735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04724459985686175,0.051108219941675005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10499216841455683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05853463634974543,0.0,0.060733532284929385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06457997382753022,0.05084936230798463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15479269647435676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611549282778988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6899855616017446,0.0599900588539522,0.0,0.06525631822652528,0.0,0.04591705318147117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03848157746479537,0.060658179913954564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310348702571347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165387580209425,0.08414476891664495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12507545086927854,0.0,0.0,0.05785707697410172,0.0,0.0,0.2689576355828416,0.0,0.0,0.04220390392927106,0.12770923209103552,0.0442791260909597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250174912882167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222823001560856,0.07780675175045866,0.04366387304671257,0.0,0.0,0.06374844330375656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05012932391379953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534661687597026,0.036779142431901474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098057855827579,0.16383385134140113,0.09131152415213957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11786372818996192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04419801585314522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19729331594114,0.0,0.06572219144380623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21583072553638732,0.0,0.2508999895373344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03814150998893106,0.07357367284701416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06598583223735792,0.0544191899316243,0.0,0.0,0.11693549186768502,0.0,0.0,0.05976717753931631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045570409674131215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06277023296769049,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,aimemoimoins,2019/02/17,"I am spiraling. Yesterday my panic attack lasted basically all day and today I've been waking up crying. Like the title says, I feel like I'm losing the battle again. I'm on Lamictal, but this weekend something triggered me and I've been failing to cope. Someone who I thought was my friend invited me to hang out and I had to drive quite a bit so it wasn't like a spur of the moment thing. Then my friend ditched me to hang out with someone else and left me with his friends who I had just met that night. I left in the morning (I was staying over) and they never came back. I did something kind of petty to get back at them and when I called to apologize, they said they ""owed me a call, but were out with their friend X right now"", so that made me feel even more like shit because apparently it's ok to ditch me, but not step out for a phone call. I really cared about this person and it just sucks to be treated like I'm disposable. Normal me would have been able to handle things better, but I smoked some (A LOT) of pot on Friday and it triggers my moods. I don't know how I'm going to get over this because my chemicals seem to be all out of whack. I just feel like life is a freaking rollercoaster of crap and I don't think I have the strength anymore. I just want to stay in bed for the rest of my life. I've also been single for a LONG time and it's because I've been unmedicated for most of my life until recently, but I still have moments of crazy. Who out there could even deal with this shit? I am so alone. 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What changes do you notice when going into each of them? We all know the “textbook” symptoms, but every person has their own unique experience with bipolar disorder. What’s yours? ",5.942499999999999,9.169760250000003,5.715,71.9,71.5,8.0,30.0,8.841846274778883,3.1187500000000004,190,8,27,4,4,59,37,40,0.129,0.871,0.0,-0.6694,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,1,8,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,3,5,3,5,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,0,1,22,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813496760000765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048124011067592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22408218221088813,0.0,0.0,0.5203184608338188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511508000543766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810006041716812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14616427664594348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027964274788942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4644508070132508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764335482149646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,_B-26354_,2019/02/17,"Help with potentially changing psychiatrists? Hello all, I was diagnosed as BPII a little over a year ago and began seeing a psychiatrist not long after. Personally I think the world of my psychiatrist. But I am still struggling a lot. At times I feel like we've made no progress. Dealing with the illness has been a long, difficult learning experience that has also been painful at times. I know that it can potentially take years to find the right combination of medications. So I've tried to keep this in mind through all the medication adjustments and changes. I'm beginning to lose hope that there is a drug or a combination of them that will allow me to function like a (mostly) normal person. I've talked with my therapist about getting a second opinion on the medication side. But I just don't know how to have that conversation with my psychiatrist. This is a new situation for me and I'm really conflict-avoidant.",5.833017751479289,7.843304609467458,6.656331360946747,70.4944378698225,67.99408284023669,10.170414201183434,33.11834319526628,10.389873798559362,3.8357005917159768,745,34,128,21,13,246,110,169,0.096,0.812,0.093,-0.128,0,1,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,2,7,7,0,1,15,0,12,7,0,3,2,31,26,10,0,2,5,0,1,2,0,1,7,0,0,2,8,7,0,1,7,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,5,2,12,3,22,20,4,21,0,1,1,0,8,9,0,5,14,88,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12411084194735468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196632952852156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962250442597783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443446560824838,0.0,0.14210768905942522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623677053369203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695711443580605,0.0,0.0,0.07079350506238635,0.10002351422359214,0.0,0.0,0.1279670413670121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07314969659507331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09384607282691948,0.0,0.0,0.13906199717649947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444774689104494,0.0,0.0,0.1538921954139066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680409574304273,0.1403272821015537,0.0,0.24780973620963784,0.0,0.1566359127866671,0.0,0.1190319024838772,0.0,0.13248130060854427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4231374834430903,0.0,0.0,0.14137067136045306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13522299314709094,0.0,0.0,0.1371805424499295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489810212040776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445034997373741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896942980659648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195681841221979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157022460158986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573776446846872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181254944484534,0.0,0.0,0.14636935225894754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527045574212604,0.11253511957441804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625629575079241,0.0,0.0897130616132027,0.0,0.0,0.16328247256125478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505792475984866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18032431619544054 bipolarreddit,lordhooters,2019/02/17,nightmare related to my bipolar disorder I have been extremely manic the past week or so and a few nights ago I experienced a nightmare that really irked me. I get weird dreams and nightmares quite a lot but this one was extremely unsettling. It started off with me walking down a street in the city I live in and I could see something up ahead so I started walking towards it. When I got close enough I saw a person with a bag over their head being held in handcuffs by two men and was wearing a nightgown of some sort with “BIPOLAR” written across it. They were knocking door to door telling people to stay away from people with bipolar disorder and that they’re freaks. I started running down the street and I passed two children in a window sewing dolls (not sure what that was about but pretty creepy) and after that I woke up. Overall it was a horrifying dream and I would like to know if anyone else with bipolar disorder has had a nightmare similar to that. ,5.4084448160535095,6.778599978260871,5.321304347826088,82.12102006688964,68.23913043478261,8.052842809364549,32.63210702341137,8.384062270229773,2.5391317725752507,772,34,141,11,13,240,113,184,0.093,0.825,0.08199999999999999,-0.2732,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,2,4,4,0,0,13,0,12,6,2,0,1,28,23,15,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,3,3,11,14,0,1,1,2,0,4,1,2,0,3,12,3,17,2,29,8,4,31,0,0,2,0,6,16,0,6,11,105,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13606391379443608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10732716065308237,0.15727360216353506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442134543733186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225531392856415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5277551524230522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12822524230522545,0.0,0.0,0.1586012008745983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08019471832946784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276384510213502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575299885039901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435674950668806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498982521528165,0.0,0.1355387553609494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304958234448525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440445087671819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040120756665633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465281925265427,0.2128279896979993,0.13402577320688733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561594340778628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16326065577312598,0.0,0.0,0.09833272459046444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231551397142187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11816782646249475,0.0,0.0,0.3259333121186679,0.1636050756801781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14466706961362613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416125520928626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2998843088756525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12312430151425666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090383299396807,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,TheVilleGirl,2019/02/17,"Been on the downward side lately. Would you guys pray, send good vibes, remember me in meditation, sacrifice a goat or whatever you do? I could really use the boost. Thanks guys.",3.17625,6.225134125000004,4.123750000000001,79.74625000000002,82.75,9.45,23.625,9.516144504307137,2.9579125000000013,140,5,25,5,4,45,29,32,0.0,0.701,0.299,0.8768,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,1,0,5,6,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,2,3,0,6,2,0,0,0,5,4,0,1,1,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24845323998126906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26100441832808113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6162375483958537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35102647444516377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993509441136697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3525081674199776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864942703571397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687610482244694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22105452796699016,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,two_fat_furry_pigs,2019/02/17,"Hypersensitivity Does anyone else suffer with extreme hypersensitivity? Stress really pushes me to lose all control and react in withdrawal, tears, fear and extreme reckless behavior like quitting my job because in that moment I'd give my arm to get away. Controlling stressors is something I never could do. Does anyone else have a similar problem or perhaps any pointers? I feel like I'm losing a hold no my life. 🙁",5.72127201565558,8.747666958904112,6.904540117416833,64.13493150684931,71.1917808219178,8.007045009784736,33.71624266144814,8.841846274778883,3.6392050880626217,340,17,47,7,7,114,58,73,0.32,0.61,0.07,-0.9668,1,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,5,1,8,0,2,2,0,4,2,1,3,2,13,8,3,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,6,0,0,0,1,6,2,6,7,1,6,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,1,4,25,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490922610404787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363033855010369,0.34627101299468865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587581712580961,0.0,0.0,0.10300597861564148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37904108549758414,0.13491329473713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29574343348832605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28231492083681936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19014456720367312,0.08543915811847615,0.12071622728362005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828279498518096,0.16209682615311755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16768224419800734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935248808179705,0.1651059197753328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780810261568019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13032442659634558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16168686187186482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17972638726095422,0.0,0.0,0.1082501185388457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13008569909272344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19356101878570628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Jakeas,2019/02/17,"Sleep Apnea I have a sleep study appt in April to see if my Pdoc's suspicion is correct. I'm also 99% sure I have sleep apnea due to my loud snoring, waking up choking for air and my husband just recorded a cycle of me not breathing last night. We all know proper sleep is crucial for managing Bipolar disorder. What I'm wondering is how did getting diagnosed and treated for sleep apnea help you manage your disorder? Is it possible that my daytime fatigue will be reduced? Did your cycles decrease in severity or at least in length? Did you notice any changes at all? To know that I stop breathing while I am sleeping kinda freaks me out. Any other advice is welcome.",3.5528645833333314,5.955391890625003,4.6106250000000015,81.00520833333336,75.40625,6.7666666666666675,30.979166666666664,7.793537801064563,2.4531541666666667,534,26,90,8,12,174,88,128,0.129,0.812,0.06,-0.8056,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,4,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,0,13,12,9,1,4,18,20,7,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,5,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,2,15,3,14,15,3,14,0,1,1,0,8,8,0,4,6,61,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12873724095773895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535442530568627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17917882789249406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13936609081746554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371585882487216,0.0,0.0,0.3019766248099237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06883001593881959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830421709373895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14480445929713584,0.10738771650628892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363140666710735,0.0,0.0,0.14998970324464214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485198679475145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498171140934467,0.0,0.0,0.14883151984727122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7910258245088699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014262449402668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416574201831584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14286911559623605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Bipolarapparently,2019/02/18,Has anyone else been violent when manic? I have on numerous times. I hate to admit but I can be pretty dangerous. I am like an angsty teenager but a lot worse. I can be very weird too. Anyone else?,-0.6748571428571424,1.3648558000000044,1.9785714285714284,91.055,103.5,5.285714285714287,15.714285714285715,6.868970318607317,0.2944285714285715,152,4,31,3,7,52,31,40,0.313,0.511,0.17600000000000002,-0.7905,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,3,0,2,0,8,0,0,0,0,4,10,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,5,1,2,7,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,22,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.374058189274052,0.5481322573701198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4468924889474537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264082336929107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306778175408682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22740297576392665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27212457123521444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15597045571690496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207000269102736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27258622401645444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,peakedattwentytwo,2019/02/18,"Lamotrigine to Trileptal Questions re: depression and hair loss Not remotely manic. 54 F, history of major depressive disorder and 2 types of anxiety since adolescence; recently dxed on the autism spectrum (PDD NOS) and also complex PTSD. HLA 1 and 2 mthfr mutations. Suicidal last summer and out of work for 2 months. 25 mgs of lamotrigine REALLY helped me. I survived an itchy, scary rash, which is now quiescent, but my hair started falling out (mostly on top and at the temples, giving me a Draculinuan hairline) at 50 mgs. I had a radical, fast response to the lamo, but since a shaved head at my age is not a good look, had to back off. Some loss still at 25. The biggest irony of the lamo experience is that I suspect if I were to keep taking it, I could have found a way to live with the hair situation. I cannot afford a good wig. I make 16.00 an hour. I have no self esteem to draw upon in this regard, so my NP okayed me to drop it and start trileptal, which she said might work for me like lamo seemed to. Has anyone here done this/used trileptal for treatment resistant depression? Results? Effects on hair? Much thanks in advance. I hope this ticks no one off enough to remove it.",4.197807017543859,5.950116149122809,5.18684210526316,80.43622807017546,71.71929824561404,8.575438596491226,28.89473684210526,9.150863307647796,2.5208052631578943,934,37,176,20,18,306,146,228,0.184,0.722,0.094,-0.9411,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,8,6,11,0,0,14,1,13,6,6,3,0,29,25,12,1,3,5,0,4,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,8,10,0,1,6,0,0,3,5,5,0,1,6,6,17,6,32,17,5,33,0,5,1,0,6,16,0,7,13,109,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417008550685664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921575887713657,0.0,0.0,0.09982545259353136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10977840204803907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139872006443124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3688929790338052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16362244383938634,0.0,0.0,0.14609939885557852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751565738667155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13965274678335518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565357789053952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369543563703105,0.0,0.23949104469925994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465193181649027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956931803002685,0.0,0.0,0.14179905847811927,0.14059595749378606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689716599191495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637351483181932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06974835816464238,0.0,0.1260651778686751,0.0,0.11988765870848896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529755289624547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15145238625985882,0.0,0.0,0.1139546257047564,0.0,0.1049495902753378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09674207782472548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688605802647316,0.0,0.1599308273110366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09145968902249414,0.0,0.14096440763450732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580335759401413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299689944646929,0.14893629181354576,0.0,0.0,0.2361953662620969,0.16047520023366876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20210131464437966,0.0,0.1140132786759415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15616306041008465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073424214586111,0.0,0.0,0.1314399437137836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717301707106332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332117123559107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20787100052271928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,nrfx,2019/02/18,"Coming off of Lamactil, which was honestly lovely save for some severe (but not SJS) skin reactions... I'm in hell, and Pdoc wants me to start Seroquel but I don't wanna. Bleh. I was on 200mg of Lamactil for 4 months. I had some of my very best days ever in those 4 months, emotionally speaking, but I had some ugly blisters, and a mouth full of ulcers, that I/we eventually decided were due to a reaction to Lamactil. SO i've been doing a fast taper, 50% lower a week, I'll be done with the taper next weekend... This morning had an emergency appointment witht the pdoc because the depression lows were getting worse than they had been since before starting Lamactil... So, she wants me on a fast taper up to 300mg of Seroquel. The side effects terrify me, I'm already obese, being lethargic and gaining wait, along with all the other pretty common side effects... I mean I know I'll probably feel better, maybe, but at a cost I'm not entirely sure I can bare. My other option is to use copious amounts of marijuana, which she is like, 50/50 on. She wasn't into marijuana before we had a legal program, and now she's relenting a bit... I have my medical card, but I'm actually totally sold on the idea. Funny thing, i've gone and and off with pot since my 20s, but have mostly given it up the 6 months before we had a medical program. Just ranting, but if anyone has anything to add that would be great.",4.4854405034324945,5.447452605072467,5.936857360793287,78.37122425629292,70.05072463768116,8.709077040427157,30.10602593440123,8.99025400887824,2.5360101449275363,1093,43,206,20,19,371,160,276,0.124,0.7440000000000001,0.132,0.5301,1,0,0,0,0,0,51.0,2,0,1,5,5,11,1,0,17,0,26,7,2,3,4,49,45,16,0,5,11,0,2,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,10,15,1,1,7,1,2,2,4,3,0,0,17,3,22,8,32,24,10,33,1,2,0,1,9,16,1,6,16,136,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.137493814089322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548183542237876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851750309665784,0.0,0.11594510148081096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588867058103324,0.0,0.3596754205732193,0.0,0.14786127503879853,0.12461073827952693,0.15382154039330215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136911271375485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086602775641184,0.0,0.12135320288262567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418515123373438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15848862392203325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274481671437883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124106585832962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361215337556823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15533793360204276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590540206153506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743255556356184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06883448973130142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12716381038186092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14154860175070466,0.15347665011168946,0.0,0.2838750560382827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33738465188208816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498441049070714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433415124067791,0.15190932346530794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15917196177688614,0.0,0.2331006484076808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994533094919971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327924673672573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360479842556406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12168858976914412,0.0,0.11625365361877198,0.16620779051799262,0.0,0.11301797869145665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14358468783033368,0.10008821571465266,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,daiyanoace,2019/02/18,"“Lost my way, constantly pushing without rest within the harsh rainstorms” (My first post here because I stay in r/bipolar with my dumb memes lol) That’s some lyrics to one of my favorite songs. It’s Lost by BTS I found it a few years ago and I cry every time I hear the song, even more now that I connect it to my Bipolar. I lost everything when my symptoms got really bad. I lost my job, freedom, sanity and almost my life. Now to make sure I don’t go off the deep end again I constantly have to go to therapy and take medication. I’m going to have to watch everything I do for the rest of my life so I don’t trigger an episode. I have to push through the hardships and never give up even though sometimes it’s hard and I want to give up again like I did in the past. Sorry, I just wanted to share, it popped up in my playlist and even though it’s in Korean I still remember the lyrics and bawl my eyes out especially if I’m driving alone lol",2.7254545454545465,3.8735436666666665,4.03981818181818,89.60972727272728,74.45454545454545,7.502222222222222,25.826262626262626,8.021203637495839,1.3031511111111111,738,25,166,11,15,243,112,198,0.135,0.773,0.092,-0.7713,1,1,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,5,16,9,1,0,9,2,7,6,1,2,2,22,25,12,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,8,9,0,0,2,2,0,6,4,6,0,2,7,6,27,3,27,18,5,35,0,4,2,0,4,11,1,3,16,108,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10345241021519633,0.0,0.1168637296275068,0.12087173192490586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744424226595397,0.07114260750810672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25223443379135485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819554398980684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033664590228495,0.0,0.0,0.23124870450205795,0.0,0.09832944199797547,0.0,0.20977480923938768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992696636989569,0.0,0.12796158921033676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239091562704675,0.1989793255347757,0.0,0.09334007312393088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454523105119096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13153561354705345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158122299829873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16486513363273667,0.057016426646801524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5095914864094792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790184711592099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756854283836787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900104989503491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790826870925372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140863332983904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11177163678886924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476455055731783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322046144407057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542475274131064,0.13064228535451802,0.0,0.12439256618859755,0.09320118654324873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999358031777567,0.12130173080837288,0.08774803393562196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13346294387057467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293251802022673,0.0,0.06805193272125129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13767188996661875,0.09263541705214047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11249996570681696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515453460036374 bipolarreddit,ICareAboutYourCats,2019/02/18,"Weight Gain Rant I went from 140 to 128 during my last manic episode, but have recovered enough to become euthymic/ stable on my cocktail. Initially, I was taking 500 mg Seroquel with 150 Lamictal, 2 mg klonopin, and 30mg buspar. My weight slowly crept up to 150. I complained about it to my doctor, and she added in Vraylar while taking me down on the Seroquel. Now, I've been on Vraylar and Seroquel for over 2 and a half months, and I'm now at 160. I'm only 5'2"", and I do HIIT (Orangetheory fitness) 4 times a week. The insatiable hunger is still there, and I hate it. I can't get it to stop. I'm losing inches, but not any weight. I tried Keto, but put on 5 pounds that I couldn't lose. This is me just ranting, and I know it'll be okay. My blood work came back with me looking healthy compared to my time in the hospital in August - no diabetes, lowered cholesterol. It's just frustrating. I feel so gross because of a number on the scale. ",3.0740175438596467,4.547204331578953,4.193157894736846,87.56043859649124,74.10526315789474,6.750877192982457,26.35087719298245,7.3011,1.233656140350877,733,26,151,8,15,239,124,190,0.16399999999999998,0.758,0.078,-0.9568,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,4,9,7,2,0,7,1,10,7,1,0,0,21,22,13,0,1,6,0,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,11,5,1,2,1,0,3,4,6,0,1,4,5,20,1,24,15,1,29,0,2,1,0,2,14,0,0,12,91,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11138593570913197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12594792673293453,0.0,0.09984765976362184,0.180898252318854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18733737180468504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16765070005448512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692435931101172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281946451027139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557591117651295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16171324386448582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001722124973258,0.133514449529682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754620010402624,0.3664884909607853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307392764094074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245731640492246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16465879999810373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080656851768802,0.13693960871412364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463062894154493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910198814074705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120577260767936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13138613751053674,0.5983730402322477,0.0,0.15183922285513202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192444098989547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,lulukodiak,2019/02/18,"New psychiatrist prescribed abilify, lexapro, and lamictal Has anyone been on this combo or any individually for bipolar/agoraphobia? I’ve only been on them for a few days, I take them at night and wake up extremely groggy in the morning. It feels like I’m hungover even though I didn’t drink. Do the side effects dissipate after a while? Thanks in advanced for any advice!",4.275819327731092,7.180434102941183,5.377983193277314,73.8073529411765,75.61764705882355,8.003361344537815,30.302521008403357,8.841846274778883,3.0551109243697487,301,14,49,7,7,99,55,68,0.0,0.8759999999999999,0.124,0.7936,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,2,2,2,0,0,4,0,5,2,1,1,0,5,9,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,4,2,10,6,1,13,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,1,6,32,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962506139719002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4123269799711037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119809361790614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19551719263305425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969875717466109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20023849160414364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15328999782126235,0.2165820757694887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14811174782143138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927999158487128,0.0,0.2845010492602023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23057164349722525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279433391118753,0.0,0.0,0.27911481086113776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29785936489522113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,dnbhead10,2019/02/19,"Started taking Geodon from Risperdal two days ago, was pretty much hypomanic/depersonalized the whole day at work. I'm not really sure if this is a withdrawal symptom from the Risperdal, but if it is, how long would it normally take for the Geodon to take effect?",11.372499999999995,8.935734583333335,9.995,66.15000000000003,57.33333333333334,13.766666666666666,40.66666666666667,12.161744961471696,4.726341666666666,212,8,38,5,2,66,39,48,0.034,0.899,0.067,0.1433,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,2,1,9,9,4,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,7,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,5,24,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21517538876668107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3130959284882121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21481828457700686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17844267992811585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378347942028197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24695502282886025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550620037438165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718134397072205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287806669509564,0.25230100517202725,0.5475334197531113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371228378923224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710118320587784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767184527128608,0.0,0.0,0.17243635274733554,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,punkhag,2019/02/19,"I’ve been feeling so much better! I just wanted to share my progress! I’ve been feeling a lot better the last few weeks and it’s not mania! I got my medications changed and after adjusting I think it’s been a really good change for me, my moods have improved a lot and I’m handling my emotions and triggers a lot better. I feel really good and like, normal. I wish you all well and hope you’re all making progress too!",0.9980232558139548,3.3894039186046534,2.719813953488373,90.88041860465117,85.3953488372093,5.300465116279072,21.390697674418604,6.742157984588678,0.5362920930232558,331,11,68,4,10,109,53,86,0.0,0.575,0.425,0.9895,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,5,4,10,0,0,5,0,4,1,0,2,2,24,14,7,0,4,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,3,11,9,3,10,7,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,4,43,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4480612014873096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35728878275927456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899584905683945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561605685387719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.283283971305412,0.13506252165718066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16772819402701492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13765337855419574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825024247471296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4307073055310848,0.0,0.0,0.1127235019331786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17012097089560868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12414049451163214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545889680823095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21636770554978665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10820648423392347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996051963421601,0.0,0.13545908916390986,0.0,0.15183638465533467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941946909396431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,caffeinejunkie17,2019/02/19,"Struggling with sudden depressive episode A little context- I was diagnosed with bipolar I in mid 2014, started to improve and stabilize in 2015 and since then have been doing relatively well. I also have OCD which has given me the biggest flare ups in past years. I wouldn't say I've necessarily been ""happy"" the past few years but I've been mostly okay, and my biggest struggles have been with my OCD. However, over the past few weeks I've start slipping deeper and deeper into depression. My last major depressive episode came in 2015 after the manic period that led me to being properly diagnosed with BP1. It all feels like it came on very suddenly and intensely and I'm having a really difficult time managing it. Right now I'm high functioning but just barely. I can make it into work (normally somewhat late but I make it there), I can force myself to shower most days, make myself eat, I take my meds, etc. Sleep has been a problem. I fall asleep (thanks to seroquel) but I find myself waking up throughout the night, often from a night terror. I know from the past that this high-functioning state can quickly devolve for me and leave me unable to do anything until the depression passes. I met with my psychiatrist last week and discussed the depression and have added on 150 mg Wellbutrin in addition to the Lamitcal, Abilify, and Seroquel that I take. I logically know that once the Wellbutrin begins to work I should feel at least a little better. It's just so painful right now- I'm back in the place I've been before where I feel empty and unable to enjoy even the things I love. I guess all of this is to say that I'm looking for some support, advice on how to cope, etc. I have people in my life I can talk to who try and support me and I'm grateful for that but this illness can be so isolating. ",4.328078817733992,6.2166126781609234,5.126108374384238,80.44758620689656,71.64367816091955,8.074876847290641,27.65845648604269,8.738905477910976,2.2365628899835803,1444,53,260,27,28,468,183,348,0.135,0.774,0.091,-0.9547,2,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,3,15,21,0,3,17,1,27,11,3,5,2,54,55,24,0,4,7,0,3,1,0,2,6,2,1,0,18,23,1,0,7,0,0,5,1,11,1,0,11,6,34,10,40,40,12,60,0,5,1,1,7,26,0,6,29,181,52,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807211010352803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07207538763753918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07416772489774606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06930292507634897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766923521127816,0.0,0.0,0.07971095663364929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20616501087326347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0581251511544356,0.0,0.3881358872392094,0.18295619439099076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222351946091288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201033251968983,0.059528742381601475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13671438568391628,0.06438751355779583,0.0,0.0,0.08237542616780101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992862338438538,0.0,0.0,0.09594300992847624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904505155842803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990640640410007,0.1469328179095138,0.10166839235942593,0.09543261613428886,0.0,0.0,0.06366012355959473,0.044032024058496544,0.18066401383668448,0.0,0.0,0.07568488221770138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134410496774562,0.0,0.1804835663058153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10011197149145774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16915818265538138,0.08830637580995214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598345657829653,0.0,0.0,0.0959026244687698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441497765892617,0.062483457827783126,0.0,0.09416465379230583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624039406427647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0577383516026986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393776425490124,0.0,0.14334692269229102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455487357285365,0.0,0.0901931626940143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275862283047439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18844286218441805,0.0,0.0,0.2045525389783462,0.0,0.0,0.13553018905494044,0.07244153130961442,0.0,0.08297782078527333,0.0,0.0,0.05987708708750575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05255440431880204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06119104559322774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0743650994292496,0.0,0.0,0.14459060788306888,0.0,0.08103596182282433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312286215321991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11607904845134538 bipolarreddit,Shamelessfanforlife,2019/02/19,"Hey guys could I get some advice Hey guys could I get some advice, I went manic a few months ago and for some reason within that time I ended up sending drugs to be sent to one of my best friend's house, which obviously freaked her out. So yeah we got a friend group and they all know that I got bipolar and all that happened, and she accepts my apology and all cause they say her friendship is important to her and all, but it is a really sad and frustrating situation because I loved her so much as a friend and wish I could go back in time and can't stop thinking or weeping about it so yeah, any advice on anything regarding this situation???",7.8810256410256425,5.900737000000002,7.836923076923082,77.46641025641027,63.615384615384606,11.12820512820513,34.743589743589745,9.725611199111238,2.968205128205128,510,17,106,8,6,165,82,130,0.097,0.6859999999999999,0.217,0.927,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,2,1,5,10,1,0,4,2,7,3,0,2,5,31,19,15,0,4,2,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,2,7,11,0,1,4,0,0,4,1,4,0,1,4,1,17,6,12,11,10,16,0,2,0,1,21,5,0,4,7,73,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4087231797175208,0.12358873276054183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09481138963034473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147320012997954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720651470571037,0.0,0.084990042174155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14631424513219707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14322426879437153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33395012882742675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16168465727062736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348605174113103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3231500765109605,0.0,0.1456839412601523,0.0,0.07923644194541908,0.0,0.223016193226756,0.0,0.0,0.2760983766208989,0.12328995726163285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160873672675408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766224010510299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12583333208288427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112848978349554,0.0,0.1024908322885563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09447560536032296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08931697231190347,0.14334850547783956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11087355951209316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134311775867197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656260294411012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933565692469668,0.0,0.0,0.1625955762544365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129245111850386,0.0,0.0,0.1603278251687488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,moodymadge,2019/02/20,"School/Work Questions Bipolar type I. Senior in college with a campus job. Been in a huge depressive episode, the kind where it's draining to be in public or even leave my room. I haven't really left bed in over a week and have forgotten about work shifts and not shown up. If I go out in public, I have severe anxiety and paranoia. I got an increase in medication but don't feel better yet. I am afraid I will get fired from my job/that I'm going to fail classes at school. I've gone to the office of disabilities but they dont recognize my disorder as a disability where they can give help/accommodations. any tips on how to not get fired and how to save myself from being failed in class? I have a near perfect transcript so this would greatly affect it. thank u in advance",3.777172043010754,5.3141683032258085,4.825564516129036,83.47168010752691,72.41935483870971,7.747311827956989,26.46505376344086,8.344100000000001,1.6953763440860208,617,21,123,10,12,202,108,155,0.18600000000000005,0.687,0.128,-0.8283,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,2,6,8,10,0,1,8,0,13,2,0,3,1,20,23,12,0,2,6,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,2,0,3,6,0,0,2,0,0,5,5,4,0,0,3,3,14,6,25,16,1,27,0,3,0,0,6,19,0,3,3,80,17,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220327534004074,0.0,0.13727943355972544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870972221745427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456078172409182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20566625767988125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21031509723642133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185256151266671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907357578404501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18751135857742585,0.17214563776646374,0.2039721433880616,0.0,0.14352326349422045,0.1978452309343557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028214354970343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3561546213410882,0.0,0.0,0.18687047896869685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19001257338773606,0.194973908371109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180777884435752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20102605711595267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149608301186747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.363227746040902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027284180096004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16521426216933766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14394467323885712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612847587073458,0.0,0.0,0.12747675788325705,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Mixedup1997,2019/02/20,"Medication help I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 when I was 15. I spent a lot of time in and out of inpatient psych and on a lot of meds. I had some success with Valproic acid but came off of it when I moved across the country about 2 years ago. I have yet to track down a psychiatrist because wait lists are long but after a really crippling few months of depression that cost me my job, I went on 350mg of Wellbutrin XL. I have had really good luck with the Wellbutrin helping my depression, I don’t tolerate ssri’s at all. For about the past 6 weeks I’ve been feeling like I’m manic and it’s getting really hard to deal with now. I feel really impulsive and self destructive and I need help but I don’t know where to get it. Should I go to a walk in clinic? Is there anything I can even go on without having to stop taking Wellbutrin because that has been the only thing that has ever helped the depression. I’m not sure where to go or who to ask for help. Thanks in advance. ",3.257293729372936,4.415414168316836,4.616455445544556,85.95049174917494,73.15841584158416,8.158943894389441,26.337953795379534,8.648137234880735,1.732270231023103,770,26,164,14,15,256,123,202,0.117,0.7240000000000001,0.159,0.7056,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,11,10,1,0,10,0,17,4,0,0,3,31,35,11,0,2,6,0,3,1,0,1,4,0,0,1,8,11,0,2,3,0,2,8,4,4,0,0,9,4,17,6,34,25,5,35,0,3,0,0,9,13,0,5,15,110,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544103189494928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716818860084393,0.0,0.1217474644665812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587739909654964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14894841926607602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13426140525057215,0.3365007085528511,0.1321807024094264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601568269106215,0.11780048521979047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316963956997213,0.09303633360757103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13607959345436876,0.0,0.22203811992116712,0.1092307400976292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666049468678852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4364520986419372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292331740505681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157099879596465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06362379681031928,0.0,0.0,0.11524944643349715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22143376735751236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14465616488560912,0.13119301788536855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394833860205152,0.13841387357326615,0.0,0.09656389028070228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904577868985318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431926493398855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337146750876208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358582856625732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887810614824472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274022796850033,0.0,0.09791674803138856,0.0,0.0,0.11989828135975952,0.0,0.0,0.0865190211875837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593815667943647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10446264569182097,0.0,0.0,0.12072450899140755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12553706677617504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386384626325735 bipolarreddit,NocturnalWeather,2019/02/20,"Self(ish) Rant I've generally been the kind of person who when bad news is received my brain can take awhile for it to sink in. My grandma recently passed away, I love her and miss her and this isn't at all her fault obviously, but, at work a few of my bosses kept telling me that it's alright if I need a day or whatever to myself. They asked if I was okay how I was holding up how my mom was holding up. But the thing that irks me down to the core is that all of the sudden it took the death of a family member to think I might not be alright. They never thought to ask or say anything the multitude of days I called in sick or didn't call in at all and just didn't show up. They just don't understand, I'm not depressed today. I'm depressed almost every day. It just makes me feel that without a, in their opinion, legitimate reason to be depressed I'm the one in the wrong. Maybe they just considered me lazy and apathetic up until this point. ",2.844393939393939,4.022024752525256,4.21860606060606,88.32790909090912,74.20202020202021,7.300202020202018,25.32121212121212,7.793537801064563,1.1729490909090905,743,24,164,10,15,246,113,198,0.128,0.775,0.097,-0.7573,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,5,1,7,12,0,0,12,3,14,3,1,5,5,41,30,15,1,3,14,1,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,12,4,0,3,5,1,0,3,8,7,0,1,9,2,23,5,28,18,4,27,0,4,0,1,19,15,0,8,9,115,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14765332460977384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12134162060511686,0.0,0.2756981308690797,0.0,0.13853736455512458,0.0,0.12311746664691227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16460680934112668,0.3011329053159649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28528581867869585,0.0,0.3810043058827208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423588622665067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390059840294717,0.0,0.07455689179172655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15355007123030967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330824902215512,0.0,0.098426318897841,0.0,0.1481368036377232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564248022620438,0.0,0.17269569154263065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093348603869454,0.1137251862675054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09991826981311007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875065979960498,0.0,0.0,0.13939116579193234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15160669881937758,0.14559248708290706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726089705609663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15382610054491236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086663911773917,0.0,0.12888080937294796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09796151620301977,0.09448221303784364,0.0,0.11706156386582195,0.0,0.0,0.13976862368031873,0.0,0.1638262018548881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15350423548059902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213985817535688,0.0,0.10734786343012444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16121719343875585,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,cuttlefish_tragedy,2019/02/20,"Feeeeckin Depressed, Yo Being Bipolar is bullshit. Things that would bum a normal person send me careening down. And not like in a BPD moodiness way, I mean in like that slow slide where first you're tired, then you're sad, then you're slowly numb, then you're numb with a core of pain. I've hit the numb-core-of-pain stage, and it's bullsheet. On the outside I seem distant and detached, and on the inside I'm curled into a ball. I emailed my doctor, but haven't heard from her. I think I need to call the office. I have zero plans of hurting myself, but it troubles me that the thought has crossed my mind.",2.98560975609756,4.596075081300814,3.2135040650406523,93.93098780487809,74.60975609756099,5.5704065040650415,24.49512195121952,5.6839178017228535,0.366194146341464,477,15,102,2,10,146,82,123,0.237,0.763,0.0,-0.967,0,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,0,2,1,10,0,0,9,0,6,6,0,0,0,17,14,9,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,1,6,1,0,1,6,6,0,0,4,1,0,3,2,8,0,2,2,1,12,2,11,9,0,17,0,3,0,0,6,7,0,1,7,57,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27472948105305833,0.0,0.22273704964878505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18787667836511546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22326723380922806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855428753270174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23351470117286174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21313644766645234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23760957720645004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22025102782436815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16174203347719593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21372293971119555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4642154236200542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19046435376438464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19857908139999794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14491713600868628,0.1397701081803467,0.0,0.1731723561421347,0.0,0.25071052057883003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731429421287761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154954637086487,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,whatuwere,2019/02/20,"Anyone type 2 and in a long term, healthy relationship? I just had a manic episode with my new boyfriend. Granted we started out as friends but still, I feel I’m not compatible with anyone. I was off my medications for a solid week or two and I felt myself going off the rails. I got mad at him for things I still can’t even understand, I was pushing him away like I would during a manic episodes. No emotions. Impulsive. Quick to end it all and move on. Anyways, I’d really like feed back. ",1.8774489795918403,4.159503479591841,3.4034285714285737,88.11657142857145,80.53061224489795,6.3689795918367365,25.106122448979587,7.554174236665415,1.2974375510204084,383,15,79,6,10,126,74,98,0.075,0.78,0.145,0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,0,8,4,1,0,5,0,5,2,0,0,1,16,12,6,0,1,4,0,2,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,7,1,0,3,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,5,2,14,3,13,6,2,20,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,1,12,55,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001310673117462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20164018929785624,0.16502759626151178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24141578074619055,0.19008738738130115,0.0,0.0,0.14175282288422586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851704753169003,0.0,0.20606643942293928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16581293436230227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197206099333095,0.0,0.1716492061915899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20970252210559528,0.0,0.0,0.18992971812441548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21620453440735327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281044187700157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20727890167027171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13748945468893525,0.0,0.0,0.2304188575270561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15190735852785722,0.0,0.3427875970275265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14258231874493416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096500949648249,0.22342436785719647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721531986899991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15245810167506202,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,PestoPastaPenne18,2019/02/20,"Venting I have good reason to suspect a hypomanic episode in a few weeks or a month later and I want it to happen now. Only because I miss the feeling but mainly because I want to get it over with while my guard is up. I don’t want it to happen later in the semester where more work is bound to happen and I forget all about it and get fucker over. Problem is, it seems to be taking piss-long. Sure I’ve had brief rushes of energy mixed with excitement the last few days but they’ve been triggered (partially) and I’ve had these before without linking to a full episode. I’ve also had very brief issues sleeping the last few days but it would be fixed right after. and I’m afraid it’s just that. I want the episode to happen now and it won’t ;————; ",2.415544455544456,4.075546948051951,3.741688311688314,89.33582917082916,76.27272727272728,6.037162837162838,22.885114885114888,6.67199483983844,0.5751574425574422,586,17,122,5,13,192,87,154,0.096,0.784,0.121,-0.0387,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,6,7,1,1,9,0,13,2,1,2,2,31,28,12,0,6,6,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,10,8,0,2,5,0,0,3,3,4,0,0,4,1,8,3,19,20,7,23,0,1,0,1,0,8,1,2,12,82,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698048597011255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19358799706847385,0.0,0.13511453022557046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20480666653625726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028658002993251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659174514574506,0.0,0.0,0.1331815120676932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5616529954422169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16573051977443484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25886230008134764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051992623375906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674085060278975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12076331770751275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193601460191505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16325765553422034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560171339306976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14455210403764154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15889989642043065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965319412619302,0.0,0.11938672710553838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310144388293748,0.37462255552317336,0.0,0.12736792861966864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15306328931627228,0.0,0.11559753392618415,0.0,0.0,0.11279646709676587,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,fade_back,2019/02/20,"On lithium one month... Levels not checked My psychiatrist who I started see about a month ago put me on 900mg lithium carb. I saw him the other day and at the end if the appointment he said we'll wait and see how lithium takes (because I told him it's help but I still get swings etc just muted now). Then he was like, you can come back in 2 months or 1 if you prefer. I forgot to ask about this business of checking blood levels and I called his office, the office manager said oh he usually does that every three months. Everything I read says to get levels checked soonish after starting. We're they gonna have me do it only in three months after starting? I see him in a month. Should I switch doctors? Go get it done myself? I'm freaking out and feel like no one cares about me ugh",2.3701242236024846,4.1597310745341645,3.4068012422360248,91.12026397515531,76.7639751552795,5.8422360248447225,23.301242236024837,6.5431188927421005,0.5389801242236025,617,19,130,5,14,198,108,161,0.065,0.8540000000000001,0.08199999999999999,0.3999,0,2,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,2,1,0,8,5,0,0,6,0,7,2,1,1,0,18,30,10,0,4,6,0,1,2,0,3,1,3,0,0,7,6,0,2,2,1,3,3,2,2,0,4,7,8,22,3,15,20,1,32,0,0,4,0,19,10,0,3,21,77,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11222916703744563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836013852023808,0.0,0.0,0.09735270827415507,0.0,0.07717824616070586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12927955758657164,0.0,0.12908393001153706,0.0,0.0,0.10906042897114246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816508232155422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958728355227675,0.11079434328440227,0.12956257233178245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213592386695888,0.0,0.14119989532029262,0.0,0.0,0.10667157340978603,0.0,0.11378590434675673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06401613251631119,0.09044782477773776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984402665173104,0.0,0.07195348378379404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486177692331029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370724000942042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6063373792526714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17158390183498465,0.09629007172296196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272746645125688,0.0,0.0,0.12664092376764086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408638567851513,0.1006826994061681,0.0,0.0,0.30266735387699234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688385414526396,0.0,0.10110824398283492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519245358598508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209780913479008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13943935156627052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Cxodael,2019/02/20,"Atypical antipsychotic induced mania? or akathysia? So my pdoc increased my Solian dose (amisulpride). When I started it at 100mg, it threw me into a hell of akathysia. Unbearable, wouldn't go there again. It was one of the most horrible things I've experienced with meds, alongside being knocked out with Seroquel. Now it's at 200mg and 2 days after starting it, I felt my blood running through my veins, couldn't stop moving and pacing and wanted to cry. I slept, hardly, waking up a lot during the night. And when I woke up, it started again. Though this time I didn't want to cry. I took my train to go to school, started singing at loud, pacing and having a big smile on my face. I'm now trying to work, since I have exams coming in less than a week and one homework to give on Friday. But I just can't concentrate. I keep focusing on everything else like that girl who doesn't give a shit about me but she's so beautiful, I'm pretty sure I could get her. Or my friend's birthday which is important or the friends I just should go see today, tomorrow or this weekend. &#x200B; I don't know what's going on. I haven't felt like this for months. &#x200B; PS: You knew me under the username Aneaunymousse (which, to explain, is just how we'd say Anonymous with a very bad English accent in French). I decided not to hide and go out with my new real username.",3.2228074995959304,5.145116200743498,3.885802489090029,88.03454501373852,74.72490706319701,6.611346371423952,26.193793437853564,7.423996415210882,1.3067955713593014,1074,39,213,13,23,340,165,269,0.059,0.8079999999999999,0.133,0.9605,0,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,1,1,0,1,15,8,2,0,10,0,16,7,6,2,1,45,44,19,0,6,10,0,3,2,2,2,1,2,1,1,15,15,0,2,7,2,0,11,8,3,0,2,9,7,29,5,34,29,4,48,1,0,1,0,12,16,2,6,23,136,44,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466186488913443,0.2765747740756702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502369633474314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803424588320593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086525128003664,0.0,0.25002225191114746,0.07339579492940253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09507074996546393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022819681712833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185442263139529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17585328088617258,0.0,0.05945921316103407,0.21834718170359574,0.32339435980396736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194829430291404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115647028265899,0.0,0.0,0.06254509093583352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120024099506573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967542394868792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641339564076998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083928406572264,0.12095832746585905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991505294018468,0.0,0.10679971611443582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15423649604882478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578215213370532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953674313405894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09050351812187446,0.0,0.11517828115425957,0.09068906743021507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682076451137582,0.09414193517023003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222113822496723,0.0,0.0,0.095147352482487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726130484303968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560799959329105,0.0,0.11181433494026036,0.0,0.06636150109564658,0.0,0.10787528053848797,0.0,0.12644323897094778,0.07726716136949842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390230355035076,0.13425207648814466,0.0,0.09128873124739853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285250707782857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765747740756702,0.0 bipolarreddit,paisleypoppy,2019/02/21,"An Ode to My Wonderful Sister Growing up I was a monster. I can say that now with hindsight. I don't care to get too into the details. My sister, despite all of my bullshit I put her through, has always been there. And continues to be. I truly don't know how I'm so blessed. When I was diagnosed she did the research to understand what it meant, why I can behave the way I do, trying to fully understand me. She's the only one I don't get snappy with when I'm in an episode. The only one who can talk me down. She's my go-to when I need to chat to stay grounded... and she's not afraid to reality-check or shut me down when I'm completely out of line. When I'm depressed, she calls, texts, or comes to visit for ""welfare checks."" She knows more about me than anyone else in my family. She's a wonderful angel I never deserved, and I love her very much.",1.081784313725489,2.8989637666666717,3.289411764705882,90.33794117647058,80.77777777777777,6.235294117647059,22.810457516339866,7.285733465282438,0.8139084967320263,658,22,145,9,17,225,105,180,0.075,0.8270000000000001,0.098,0.5987,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,1,9,0,13,2,0,1,2,22,30,12,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,8,0,0,7,1,1,4,5,2,0,2,5,1,30,3,24,24,3,23,2,1,0,1,18,9,0,4,8,102,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430448308255116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120205098847931,0.17614449855191394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755417106856618,0.0,0.1752760785948661,0.0,0.0,0.14808725081601784,0.18024680806251628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14806783860231548,0.1744873970239414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14361069306510968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16206364566153292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17963419483414453,0.0,0.09770173930818128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889570422107384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15515759044191316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637534361566535,0.12747081498625493,0.132589387562921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23298448893642,0.261494148461559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17281937494656693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13671158549853227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18323567095683005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13817661956424485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671718798345752,0.0,0.0,0.3579335983290885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14184567701606407,0.0,0.13645600631937654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551241392838561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37286317890160176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,retroprim,2019/02/21,"Lithium and the horrible acne So I just got Reddit to post this, honestly. &#x200B; I started taking lithium carbonate for bipolar disorder in September 18. My dose was increased in December 18, and about a week later I started having terrible acne appear. I know this is a side effect of the medication. I've read all there is that I can find about lithium acne and that it supposedly is harder to treat than regular acne, and in some cases makes peoples acne worse in the long term (they never had problems with acne, suddenly it's coming back months later after clearing up, etc). I've been off lithium for about a month and a week or so now, and nothing's changed in regards to my oh-so-lovely breakout. &#x200B; I started birth control (? I honestly have no clue if this will work, I used to take birth control for my acne when I was younger), I'm now using tazorac prescribed to me by my PCP, and I'm going to see a dermatologist soon. &#x200B; What I'm trying to ask here is how long did it take for your acne to clear up after STOPPING lithium carbonate? What did you do to make it go away? Is it still effecting you months later (if this question applies to you)?",6.0151164254247975,6.515492088105731,7.004056010069224,73.7263986784141,66.44493392070484,9.128886091881688,35.15701699181875,9.04235418022936,3.2666893643801136,932,43,160,15,14,313,128,227,0.079,0.848,0.073,-0.3038,0,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,0,4,1,5,15,5,0,0,8,0,16,3,0,9,4,33,37,14,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,13,9,0,3,5,1,0,5,2,2,0,0,7,1,19,3,32,29,5,43,0,0,1,0,7,10,0,6,27,115,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3447197909977083,0.3865920064974845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914369946071223,0.0,0.09963873742803696,0.08154694453292544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11218826989009544,0.09135385044452678,0.0,0.0,0.2378912209245161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121544038747014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827529234536553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969290156394024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12054285607636275,0.0,0.08481895521428492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058283050294471374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877042208686411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158020366798502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683558128753592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25394753525970204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179334152811707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10175913371789816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352265527168207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156788116541356,0.0,0.0,0.10147682256570748,0.0,0.0,0.11880178669508094,0.0,0.10608005230831237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450919806986272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251910811398661,0.0,0.08469274774226909,0.08866368002905009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239212258296985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07200190750109582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831886380646811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701359974060673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720664827227137,0.0,0.1080753892393728,0.0,0.0,0.3865920064974845,0.0 bipolarreddit,mollymilli0ns,2019/02/21,"Was off meds for 10 days. Help? Type 2, with a history of psychosis but none recently. Apparently my health care lapsed due to a billing error on their side Jan 1st and I wasn't told, found out when I tried to pick up my meds. Been off them a week and a half before I was able to afford them again. Called my health insurance again today (about the 5th time) and they want $1800 in back payment to reinstate it. Work for a startup that's a month late paying me so I'm broke. My work health insurance kicks in March 1st, if I can hold on that long. Skipped my last psychiatrist appointment. Haven't seen my therapist in two months. Took my meds this morning but it will take a while for them to kick back in I think. Rapid cycling, crying in the bathroom constantly at work today. My family's across the country. My best friend has pulled away since he got in a relationship and I feel like I have no safety net. I just need someone to tell me to keep going, even if it's a stranger on the internet. ",2.1195518499218338,4.178825514851486,3.043444502344972,92.17860083376759,78.5049504950495,6.826889004689942,22.017717561229812,7.85451343220497,0.8403227722772281,782,23,172,13,19,248,131,202,0.071,0.81,0.12,0.8759,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,5,4,9,5,0,0,13,0,9,3,0,1,0,19,23,11,0,4,5,0,1,1,1,1,3,0,0,0,6,6,0,2,3,0,2,3,4,1,0,2,9,2,24,4,29,13,2,41,0,1,1,0,12,17,0,2,22,103,30,5,0.12476276254150973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11721872234674892,0.1918697264973773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10616392171116117,0.0,0.1309308220365527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273967298679792,0.0,0.12720395141331345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13482422352396867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704603624384984,0.08046166047345002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240462799302979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761522892261868,0.0,0.06308380144255978,0.08913054248843325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13679592946019106,0.09639140085215668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090555311133102,0.0,0.0997841784997062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978509472354827,0.0,0.0,0.08362584984541001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089487584956118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10169830333542597,0.14073783043025034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060952783767224135,0.0,0.0,0.11041111879405896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41574991029638025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991688935088955,0.0,0.0,0.09251000756130552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318817651791847,0.13394851580912615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320504643715092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571108383095383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09380607051383932,0.0,0.10904815360263784,0.0,0.0,0.14485918339977558,0.0,0.07994294053704591,0.0,0.0,0.07275017015351322,0.0,0.2365210215248675,0.11921616619914165,0.13861601980099328,0.08470572612286394,0.0,0.1218750902646203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358830983869741,0.0,0.10007716253697373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724863311426481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,S_Seaborn,2019/02/21,"Recent Bipolar II diagnosis. Scared and confused. Off the bat, I'm an alcoholic who has been trying (mostly unsuccessfully) to stop drinking for a while. Went to a 10-day detox in January. I thought I could dry out and get back into the groove that was my 6 months of clean time. But instead, I relapsed a week out. Spent the most of February bunny hopping - few days drinking, few days drying out - and realized that I had to get my ass back to rehab. So here I am; 4th rehab in 3 years. I've been to this one twice before, I guess 3 times if you count my short stint in their detox a few weeks back. Most of the time, I get sober for 6 months and relapse +/- 7 days. The psychiatrist who has been seeing me whenever I end up back here diagnosed me with Bipolar II yesterday. And I feel weird about it. Which brings me here. I don't know what to do next. I don't know if I should get a second opinion or just accept this one; we've met about 4 times this year alone for 1+ hours each time, and like I said he's the same psychiatrist who has done all of my evaluations here over the years. He would like to put me on Lamictal.",2.408298017771699,3.935957476190481,3.7611027568922317,89.75187969924816,75.96969696969697,7.114240145819093,22.54750512645249,7.85451343220497,0.8339038961038949,871,24,195,13,19,286,134,231,0.068,0.884,0.048,-0.5106,0,1,3,0,0,0,33.0,0,1,1,0,13,6,0,2,13,0,16,11,1,0,1,35,32,12,0,5,5,0,1,2,0,2,8,1,1,0,11,12,3,1,6,2,1,3,2,3,0,4,11,3,23,3,28,18,9,41,0,0,1,1,9,12,1,9,28,126,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425419044037631,0.0,0.13010890645087014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38638938282790003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689704138689582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10030079525106046,0.0,0.0,0.3240691681714505,0.0,0.0,0.12750603772747787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855729246867492,0.0,0.2461280106292607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126585788906412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0635194294347463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625340834275249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13838934855913254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12371464748673673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380796788990394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274739184444555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200544263147396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13360288666630862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17025257722291673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12628713659447058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403885794120716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949749346812664,0.0,0.12577185699519502,0.0,0.10010631628359427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502755437955973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099731675594358,0.3662627484204096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08529066527608226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20153649965387985,0.0,0.0,0.11645500074897393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923991069952822,0.0,0.0,0.24269382483289906 bipolarreddit,AliveDifference,2019/02/21,"On too much medication, and scared for my future. Let's see where can I start. I'm 30 and I've been hospitalized twice in the span of a year. I don't have much work experience except working in a factory and logistics for a year. I'm heavily dependent on my mom for support. I also was recently diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Currently, I am on Seroquel 300mg, Zyprexa 20mg, trileptal 600mg, and a Long acting injectable of Invega. I'm going to try to tell the doctor I don't need three antipsychotics to functuion I said some really obscene things while I was hospitalized and if I had done (which I did not do thankfully) those things while in psychosis I probably would been put in jail or prison. The reason why I decompensated so bad was because I titrated too fast off of Seroquel and started to become extremely delusional. I'm really unsure what I can do with my life job wise. I feel like I'm 100 percent disabled on so much medication. I just want my life back and I dunno if I can take back what I was saying to the nurses and psychiatrist.. They know I was sick.. but I don't know my future is really bleak/fucked",2.9729767243220167,5.248758439461888,4.9021012171684815,78.83065769805681,76.71300448430493,8.91129617766389,26.762545376895154,9.48565724429506,2.742881443519112,904,36,171,26,21,309,129,223,0.066,0.899,0.035,-0.726,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,2,9,6,0,1,8,0,23,7,0,2,0,27,41,17,0,5,7,1,1,1,0,1,7,2,0,0,6,10,0,0,4,0,0,3,4,2,0,2,11,4,26,4,23,28,5,28,0,0,1,0,5,11,0,6,15,116,32,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887936380746924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093823880700036,0.1136798323828492,0.08299597296603009,0.150367334543456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13818971151500048,0.0,0.0,0.15604006523044814,0.13935562438217075,0.0,0.13932905042007487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318114071854778,0.0,0.0,0.06884169397488381,0.0972658176820728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258687793628214,0.0,0.0,0.07737736592894917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351081868584644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14964931334408574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13922292934298705,0.19233399861629127,0.0665161704124824,0.0,0.0,0.1204887511157052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743142525934782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15945761233139247,0.0,0.0,0.3002584583423234,0.10095373906641288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14679307548158524,0.0,0.0,0.1368686792020398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26166414899111456,0.13998520745501533,0.13443201828748882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12951013491941812,0.10827220121925657,0.13631022455594966,0.0,0.10849417968446604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19273579822108228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15450177265203602,0.0,0.0,0.10236809849165708,0.0,0.1190013830360934,0.12534892469347278,0.0,0.0,0.18090444914476064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243713191539556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803049878130327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285448933430715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982381128161328,0.0,0.0,0.09671728284389018,0.0,0.0,0.17535268780401658 bipolarreddit,ManicMick420,2019/02/22,"Make sure to bring your pills with you if you are going to be away from home for a while... As title says, I forgot to take my pills with me and was due at 4pm for my second Geodon. I took it at 9. It is now almost midnight and I am flying high and feeling great. No sleep for me!",-0.4052380952380972,1.0741941111111115,1.8034126984127,100.83464285714287,84.07936507936508,4.2,13.674603174603176,3.1291,-1.562415873015873,211,2,55,0,6,71,48,63,0.034,0.8390000000000001,0.127,0.7177,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,5,3,1,1,1,11,12,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,3,2,10,2,13,8,0,10,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,2,3,39,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30800728739830263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889912433242233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552691453652764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17481067479664114,0.0,0.0,0.33911942827538377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3249860749386958,0.30853818361253993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053189359091312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24460817875650576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078124712900937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28990024888724064,0.0,0.23126965049970166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3417441779346884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Downtown_MB,2019/02/22,"KETO & HYPOMANIA Has anyone else experienced hypomania or mania after following the Ketogenic diet? I've been doing it on and off for a year and feel like every time I'm thrown into a hypomanic state. Experiences would be extremely helpful, thanks everyone! ",6.489000000000001,9.400510288888887,8.988611111111112,50.65625000000003,68.33333333333333,12.5,33.47222222222222,11.698219412168324,5.796222222222222,213,10,27,9,4,77,41,45,0.0,0.807,0.193,0.8427,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,0,0,6,9,3,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,5,6,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,4,17,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3505880322331408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262477141121177,0.33153577121725986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703012712392713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27262173677380924,0.3091850651545706,0.0,0.3165136135957766,0.0,0.0,0.16360674798613234,0.2311585204016305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.216882195237424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807999050180271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978998445351998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188676308054956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298548918031695,0.0,0.0,0.20836851438250148 bipolarreddit,thesquareunicorn,2019/02/22,"Faking Sorry if I rant but I don't know why people never seem to take me seriously. I've been accused before of exaggerating. And my moods being a ""self-fulfilling prophecy"". Early on, I was diagnosed multiple times with depression and anxiety. Because 75% of my mania is comprised of mixed/dysphoria. I get very moody. The only question anyone ever asked was ""do you spend a lot of money"", and when I was younger I didn't have the money to spend 20,000$ even if I wanted to. Anything else -anger, excessive energy, no sleep, etc- was labelled anxiety or agitated depression. Whenever I disagreed -and rightly so- ""professionals"" thought I was just vying for a bipolar diagnosis. Despite my reactions to the antidepressants they always insisted on. The only way I got properly treated was after a case of road rage. Years later, I struggle with the fear of being accused of faking. I can see it in their faces. And at times I'm afraid that I'm actually faking. It's been really taking a toll on me lately. 2018 was a year of relapse for me and again with an empty bank account I'm faced with having to ""prove it"". Right now I feel like I should stop taking all of my meds and embrace whatever my brain gives me, maybe I'll be blessed with some euphoric mania. I feel sick. I hate myself. Screw all of them. ...The point was to ask if anyone has felt this way/been treated this way. Even if no one answers, I just need to let it out somewhere...",3.22964882943144,5.5705067028985535,4.839130434782611,79.27560200668898,76.17391304347825,7.579487179487178,26.91973244147157,8.502166056373571,2.233805351170569,1134,45,202,23,26,381,170,276,0.259,0.6759999999999999,0.064,-0.9952,0,0,0,0,0,0,53.0,0,1,3,0,9,19,4,3,13,0,23,8,4,0,5,40,44,15,0,7,8,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,7,13,0,1,9,0,6,0,5,14,0,1,14,4,31,4,31,25,5,26,1,2,1,1,8,10,1,9,15,136,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.12008758109887264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239473166744648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18827920214587576,0.0,0.0,0.1720910678220414,0.0,0.10126685967158162,0.0,0.2300866247805753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501546714802494,0.0,0.10471392603718116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737425443477014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21198062893662967,0.12490203312143194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279978868243966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372430268323047,0.16255827745813914,0.11131367770363536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13847529751323195,0.1244443952696588,0.08791319012479941,0.11815569084604305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429311381680347,0.11804915889845095,0.0,0.0,0.09842131788920737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214950311427995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06762986653269623,0.0,0.1388156214349534,0.0,0.0,0.12583590154012986,0.0,0.060120285576172265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462014212567494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12362904691208128,0.0,0.13669052114579455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124649818258547,0.09491048843293848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338778860321867,0.1871834375964979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531343740643167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116330287623623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137853954750826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788345814500858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101829871746792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806188518572016,0.11202805727441964,0.1283771063879409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314761390433918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775418709579926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288261881226797,0.0,0.12864771642415976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775745781985017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769489563283608,0.14351308455566295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153635019474476,0.07258323458147474,0.2930349052989061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104137441002307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584915908710899 bipolarreddit,monorogue,2019/02/22,"Is having a routine bad? I’ve been through a very severe depression this winter. I was self harming and I ended up being suicidal and basically almost worthless as I couldn’t do anything but sit in bed and sleep. I had my meds adjusted 3 times, and once my pdoc added Seroquel to the mix, everything changed. I feel stable, I sleep well and wake up rested, I feel good overall. Not manic good, but normal good. The problem is I developed a certain routine. I do almost the same thing everyday. I can finally cook, clean the house, work and function like I’m supposed to. But I’m scared of anything that threatens to break my routine - like going out, having friends over, etc. I managed to stop taking naps, because I no longer feel mentally drained. It’s not about comfort zone, it’s just that I felt so bad, and I’ve been in such a dark place, that right now I’m happy to feel stable, something I haven’t felt in a long time. My previous manic episode was pretty bad too. Is it wrong that I cling to my routine? I feel like I need this routine for now, until I feel I’m able to do other things too. Am I wrong?",2.2713899613899606,4.390086936936939,3.575199485199488,88.25905405405408,78.27927927927928,6.0303732303732325,26.337194337194337,7.07126945348624,1.2754707850707856,868,35,172,10,21,283,126,222,0.209,0.601,0.19,-0.4486,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,1,9,21,0,1,9,0,18,4,3,0,1,32,33,13,1,4,6,0,8,3,1,0,0,0,2,1,12,8,1,1,9,2,0,1,5,10,1,0,7,8,24,11,20,24,3,23,0,2,0,0,2,9,0,2,14,107,36,2,0.11521760795348855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23074758243286414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896285483385799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886056699953908,0.07023558439727327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12188495190517255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923675690032492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10204860224893156,0.0,0.12849808926733275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035501567543473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34954490689830536,0.08231148214353884,0.2212539443381679,0.1262152577208625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901683809523121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06548082179078478,0.2899171892670073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265128612920286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13294565016616633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16886851013969562,0.0,0.0,0.1019639573521582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279807884859048,0.0,0.11611224934651365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543239638050243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128887927799387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12270299217452885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203778774936007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117217728766457,0.0,0.11024769033364816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09839520765396484,0.0,0.0,0.1153529254356618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201970931220862,0.13016310159920924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23060163346403326,0.0,0.0,0.0887001436256232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632707935208523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602936252662733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866293021727928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530909181696026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13436862750627646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506659312567982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359446662863557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387979082522748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519447342680549,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ladyredridinghood,2019/02/22,"Doc has me on Seroquel as needed, is she nuts? Doctor prescribed me Seroquel to help me sleep and to potentially help me calm down when I start feeling manic. She had prescribed it to me to take as needed. I think I'm experiencing withdrawal symptoms a day or two after I take it each time. Constant waking up and vivid nightmares. I don't think this is supposed to be an as-needed medication.",4.301096491228069,6.079060250000005,5.4973684210526335,78.20991228070176,71.5,7.171929824561403,29.771929824561404,7.793537801064563,2.0703666666666667,313,13,56,4,6,104,51,76,0.031,0.831,0.138,0.7184,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,6,5,2,0,0,9,15,6,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,11,1,11,13,1,9,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,1,6,39,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517368363141765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15023386245254974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384348052609285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778682037058785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31228374729598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2346732171284765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5181897441466108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23311882944323256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488363035002435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421248637162106,0.3502997132265384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985306706827884,0.0,0.0,0.13583536546388975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275588825717652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,OmenRazor,2019/02/22,"Can cold meds make you manic? Pressurized speech, feeling wired, more friendly and talkative than usual, irritable, mild euphoria, etc. All from some alkaseltzer sinus meds?? I took an (unprescribed) ativan last night to get me to sleep but can cold meds really induce a hypo/mania? I'm taking more today. Damn, I love the feeling. ",4.2082706766917255,7.489198649122812,4.768170426065165,75.38052631578952,80.05263157894737,7.4676691729323315,23.932330827067666,8.418075326091056,2.391222556390978,261,9,38,6,7,83,48,57,0.091,0.665,0.244,0.8436,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,1,3,0,2,3,1,2,1,8,10,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,5,4,2,4,9,5,5,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,4,20,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358058636059275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138157309320727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16335412068925878,0.0,0.11046603661700184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17234770705769162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19082830062491288,0.0,0.14113447336890253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7045697066615864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19841738098737888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13545064539828136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115876494272039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15897277172686694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20041561360323107,0.0,0.23491201318638694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23286573012076103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Ressurected_,2019/02/22,"Hypomania I can't ignore the red flags anymore! It's not just because it's finally spring, that I'm feeling this good. It's not just because it's spring, that I'm this active. (I'm getting up at 4 am cause I'm just not tired anymore. I never sit down) It's not only happiness, that makes me laugh so much, even though I'm doing really well, generally speaking. I have to admit to myself, that I'm hypomanic. I've been riding the high for a couple of days, getting things done, but it has to stop now, before it gets worse. I've started dating this guy, that I've wanted to date for years. He knows I'm bipolar, he just doesn't know what bipolar is, just yet. -Or how it affects me. -And my surroundings. We were on the phone last night, and i was... Not in control. At all. He was so confused, and i don't blame him. I was at a meeting today, and i could. not. sit still. Every spring is the same! April is rough. may is soo good. June is meh. Juli is sweet. August is sweet September is kinda melancholic. October is heartwarming and cozy. The rest of the year is fine. But spring? Soo sweet and full of promise... Anywho... Tonight I'm taking my sleep meds on top of my regular meds. That usually stops hypomania. At most, in a couple of days. I should have done it yesterday.",-0.16411298516561598,2.1516942316602368,1.9662273928063416,93.10539067262756,95.10038610038609,4.8884779516358465,18.78490144279618,6.5966054737557815,0.2242138996138996,982,31,209,14,38,327,142,259,0.065,0.775,0.16,0.9724,0,0,0,0,0,0,59.0,1,0,0,2,14,14,0,1,9,0,28,4,1,5,2,44,47,13,0,3,14,0,2,0,0,2,3,1,0,1,20,7,0,4,4,0,0,1,10,3,1,0,7,7,16,11,21,37,6,44,0,1,1,0,10,14,0,5,27,130,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26648306693148044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16380001872282154,0.0,0.11432404341083954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13801698004813195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15068770215002592,0.1072695027070192,0.2973168713682456,0.0,0.17329243714077794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749784146368427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873852921108506,0.0,0.1131977376457396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793263792818026,0.0,0.0,0.14717654701101662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21058083713909487,0.0,0.0,0.2253769293610245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330300530007165,0.0,0.14302068628563674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195074483603773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476731909489845,0.10951518235130958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968130676596439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984705791237998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09876451298484132,0.0,0.10362089561896956,0.0,0.0,0.12608067743673704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021810959412112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606962276225617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134449482420724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509535893413996,0.0,0.1072940438613648,0.22464933604224185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101632555362718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08925780100524222,0.0,0.1320006045830744,0.0,0.0,0.1544183826155975,0.12735041762093416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14797024766340142,0.0,0.07924455872512377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079899184273032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13691662937505564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730371517974198 bipolarreddit,zhombeh,2019/02/22,"needing validation ive never posted on this subreddit before because i am not officially diagnosed bipolar, but i went from MDD to an unspecified mood disorder in less than a year. some bg: im a college sophomore. the first time i ever went to therapy was march of last year. i started lamictal in december. growing up mental illness was just not a thing to my parents, so i never saw any doctor or pdoc. basically, ive had to do and learn everything myself regarding mental illness and treatment. but i think im reaching a burnout. the lamictal is great, however my focus issues, which ill just address as ADHD (i have vivid memories of almost never sleeping during pre-school nap time and instead lifting up our bed mats with my legs, and ive heard my mom say she has it) are still something i don't have treatment for. not being diagnosed with anything as a kid has made this journey incredibly difficult, especially concering ADHD. while ive improved drastically since freshman year (i had a debilitating depressive episode where i ended up with a 0.8 GPA), i haven't made progress with the ADHD. last friday i went to an ADHD screening for testing at my school's psych services office as im required to have the school's insurance anyways. it was the most discouraging experience. i told the woman that ive had focus issues and homework issues for as long as i can remember. i told her exactly what my thoughts would be like in a class, my horrible sleep quality, my difficulties around getting my work done, etc. i talked to her about the very recent development regarding my mood disorder. she told me that she thinks what i was describing is related to other issues, which were ""out of their scope"" and recommended me to a doctor who has a semester long waitlist for full psychological testing. which would be at least $400, $4,000 if i didnt have insurance. last semester i dealt with ADHD by meeting with a professor every week to go over assignments. i got accommodations from a few classes even without being registered with disability services. however, that's not 100% the case with all my classes this semester. i was struggling before that screening but now im struggling even more. i have a test tomorrow morning i have not studied for, not to mention i did not do at all an essay assignment, and i havent done the workbook pages due by the test. i had to ask for an extension for a paper in another class the night before because i hadn't even written it. ive missed meetings and work. that friday night i tried to find coke. sunday night i took 5 shots at 1am. monday i bought adderall and took 3/4 of it, and ive never taken adderall before. i have not done anything but stay in bed because the thought of even trying to tackle my immense amount of work is so overwhelming. i know it takes a while to get a diagnosis but like i said, i am feeling so burnt out. how many more doctors do i have to see? how many more episodes do i have to go through and other self-destructive behaviour? my family is no help either, my father threatened to not pay my tuition when he found out i was taking meds and refused to tell him. the rest are just invalidating. i don't know what to do or figure out what i need to find out. i am so tired of not having anything. my chest literally hurts and im curled up in bed in the dark crying. im sorry this is so long but ive never had the chance or resource to really talk about this stuff honestly that im just letting it all out now. im just desperate for some reassurance and validation at the very least.",5.491317657497781,6.5145935291545225,6.6015971606033705,74.29417923691216,67.79008746355686,9.696995816960325,33.571935606540755,9.867487886160001,3.417484193180377,2835,128,509,64,46,952,312,686,0.117,0.8290000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.9928,3,0,1,0,0,0,72.0,1,0,1,7,27,15,0,3,36,0,66,15,4,4,10,94,103,39,0,5,27,3,1,2,0,2,10,3,5,2,29,29,1,3,13,1,3,9,23,8,0,1,38,9,75,5,84,58,19,74,0,5,5,0,31,27,0,8,38,366,104,30,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224290744944562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0537301747254184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03648889876184721,0.0562645036550694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246650206777916,0.04776649707477003,0.05016246258665807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812723102410847,0.0,0.18263411537811847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058940177585870286,0.0,0.0,0.04621507390214735,0.1089223429554225,0.0,0.0,0.12299214835521548,0.16476198855883167,0.0,0.1647305698137454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04752456490776121,0.0,0.05984222859821275,0.14176093058728553,0.048536225854214236,0.0452087068934395,0.0,0.04822384665177863,0.05248727175671605,0.050583458445796745,0.0,0.02713081356983145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808385499070196,0.0456409905150164,0.0,0.058832612721914285,0.0,0.0,0.05606759488068128,0.0,0.06098951865736658,0.0,0.042914755962500856,0.059157516329987885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03596545055770616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05744139861238615,0.0,0.4636739374371492,0.22401770423675305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058977450826136986,0.13121392394245274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054868367155934336,0.0,0.05242862906594374,0.0,0.0,0.1424554360170741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015439330241308,0.0,0.10880044330088702,0.0,0.0,0.0596013189333862,0.0,0.10814815703587588,0.0,0.0,0.06284294448117214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795726228000008,0.2069196255818455,0.0,0.0,0.15106161597510326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05958023648769314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05138899462779426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03437432963603223,0.0,0.05298024809361451,0.0,0.06078341891061581,0.0,0.05104051226839936,0.04267054943689575,0.0,0.16291257982141258,0.042758032123744114,0.0,0.05597641151292312,0.0,0.0,0.044385988325413135,0.0,0.10739238025684916,0.0,0.0,0.04130811829034932,0.0,0.0600651103725687,0.037979011757588436,0.05719169101619497,0.04285090039096593,0.0,0.0,0.11218881181190188,0.06142493064580716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068743330716333,0.08625563451171513,0.04689896705450445,0.0,0.06136195820886085,0.0,0.03564761847297235,0.06876304110840865,0.0,0.08519602652719399,0.06257616879368558,0.061671333224655525,0.0,0.15381594826386746,0.11923077890089215,0.07285975832731524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885460138795463,0.0,0.0,0.04304076129369954,0.0,0.0,0.14922295159345428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051723856780008966,0.0,0.1171897647495126,0.0,0.0,0.07623341083894852,0.0,0.0,0.1036608951731056 bipolarreddit,kajiracalista,2019/02/23,Need Xanax script back. How do i tell my dr? Been off of Xanax for two years. With my current situation at work my anxiety is out of control. I just don't want my Dr to be disappointed. Any advice?,-0.5518699186991861,1.6678221463414682,2.040853658536588,92.60160569105692,95.82926829268294,5.660162601626017,19.028455284552845,7.1686216300943375,0.4736308943089434,152,5,35,3,6,52,33,41,0.154,0.846,0.0,-0.6577,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,2,0,7,7,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,6,0,8,5,0,6,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,23,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3317587734320194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308739403002845,0.0,0.2597191562508751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610571427385349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3807819089534428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25173745425654515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38161602347849216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29674091812297065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.331645470250021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20024788960869191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471625039272965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186290455066072 bipolarreddit,Roadguard69,2019/02/23,"Seroquel 100mg still getting anger flashes Pretty much I'm severely depressed, and have severe anxiety and I cant really control my emotions. For my medication it says take up to four tablets (each one is 25mg) based on mood, my mood definitely tells me to take four lol, I didnt know I was severely depressed til I told the doctor my symptoms I always thought I was funny and quite happy but a dark sense of humor. I also find it kinda hard to carry on a conversation with someone I dont know, and making eye contact is a bitch for me (makes me insecure and nervous but no disorders like down syndrome or ADD), Just in general I'm not coping with life that well, my last post I was coming off Lamotrigine which didnt seem to hell either. I also found my habit of smoking pot coming back rather strong actually, as of now I know I'm addicted to marijuana (sounds retarded I know) Anyway I'm taking 100mgs and still getting angry quite a bit, I feel kinda numb sometimes like i cannot get angry or really think, when I get angry I yell, throw shit, smash shit, think about suicide, and by the end of my fit I usually have bloody knuckles and borderline pulp of knuckles. What usually calms me down is just punching shit super hard til I realizemy body is in pain, or if my dog has the balls to come up too me and chill me out (I dont physically harm anyone or anything). What makes everything worse is that I have a new born so I cant really explode unless i go and smash the old fridge we have in the garage, if I dont do that I look for something's I misplaced ruthlessly ripping apart my whole room and everywhere I might think I left it (memory is shit now too) I also pace back and forth like a mofo aggressively, that doesnt seem to help only makes me think what else I can destroy. Any way thanks for listening to my crazy head and any advice on medications would be appreciated and any advice would be amazing, TIA",4.379616091287108,5.479291723237598,5.685825355381493,79.5634077942172,70.40992167101828,8.807233343003581,28.284401895367953,9.150863307647796,2.3053530412919447,1522,54,297,30,27,511,208,383,0.235,0.614,0.151,-0.9905,0,0,1,0,0,1,33.0,1,0,0,5,19,29,9,2,11,1,30,15,7,5,0,62,66,31,1,5,14,0,3,3,0,3,8,4,1,0,11,23,0,1,14,1,0,5,11,16,1,3,8,9,47,11,37,53,5,39,1,2,2,0,8,16,7,11,19,185,58,1,0.0,0.0,0.07546937158663877,0.08430831593017853,0.0,0.15114487278645372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855381678042788,0.06435025155817077,0.0,0.0,0.15777463234236466,0.0,0.0591622919654111,0.0,0.0,0.05407555313113482,0.0,0.06364143729128995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893415273099375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443154382516213,0.08590353505605018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998559148395833,0.0,0.0,0.08673957977473705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13321981097459282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863445068774177,0.0791572933471883,0.0,0.0,0.2719137790298704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06460481075653722,0.08699327260829758,0.06849727825889662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695051548442855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039103711734970584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068425687897446,0.0,0.0,0.08479559680624761,0.0,0.0,0.16162073888747694,0.0,0.043952175453452286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232625523189382,0.1385568171658292,0.0,0.07936966944117073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051837096864309616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17000870468057924,0.06303965592791846,0.0,0.0,0.08402644878098472,0.0,0.05462513198374835,0.11334827791161778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494327137844949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20649114032634933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15581698878767866,0.0,0.08204191763977887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05685130392679641,0.0,0.0,0.07469217605914517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115175865505353,0.0,0.05240528576142227,0.05881797383862505,0.08229160149666155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406709080444661,0.07867913138688716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16451400021696258,0.0,0.0,0.14863143049992336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06150117321246067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080868321614978,0.0,0.2621050556145784,0.31753965910369186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06552705535795614,0.059537497678877026,0.07648788089701501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235222270175866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459369480357712,0.0,0.0,0.08038234536630683,0.17444250932009078,0.0,0.06759560245574373,0.07120115637030078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19821669782236825,0.0,0.061396626638369485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389844128915284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17035069110959958,0.0,0.0,0.06138619817717428,0.0,0.0,0.06953489661165768,0.0,0.0,0.08634355882986207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881260863837322,0.10987541211571357,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,RavensAndWolves,2019/02/23,"Mood Trackers Recently my psychiatrist had me look into CBT, and while I can't afford counseling at the moment, I've decided to start mood tracking. I've tried it in the past but gone into episodes of just not being able to. How do you guys stay motivated? What trackers do you use? ",3.33818181818182,5.563379181818188,4.790909090909089,80.30636363636366,75.36363636363637,8.036363636363637,27.363636363636363,8.841846274778883,2.3485636363636364,225,9,42,5,5,75,45,55,0.0,0.92,0.08,0.6553,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,3,0,10,9,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,5,0,7,6,0,11,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,5,27,7,1,0.3672168258144752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36360239130344174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083696477632813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3505500116898567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3625823141238364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599179593661153,0.3914042765648488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24931611998250935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31715743410319663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Jord_Anstead,2019/02/24,"Psychosis while in a depressive phase? Okay so I’m 18 and I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder when I was 14. I have noticed that often when I’m at the lowest of my depressive cycles, I often end up having psychotic episodes (hallucinating, paranoia, delusions, etc). I have only heard of people having these due to mania and I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this. If you have experienced this, please let me know if you have any advice to help prevent this. ",5.087305194805194,7.102295068181817,6.3424025974026,71.9818181818182,69.9090909090909,9.119480519480518,30.75324675324676,9.606745405546679,3.260238311688312,378,16,62,9,7,127,62,88,0.139,0.768,0.093,-0.634,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,1,11,2,0,0,0,11,16,9,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,3,10,1,8,11,1,8,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,6,5,48,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23341628362286276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16243650943356774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16702008363265367,0.2447455986604256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4114684489041649,0.2424431236536049,0.0,0.0,0.27376018384317685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995412024628173,0.0,0.21156364532539687,0.0,0.2663978102946511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16010629114704478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13127405282924734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442558241425589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27194958391685026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18166772859091104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16559903580058286,0.0,0.0,0.2622022313119577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590390920208229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Type2sugarnova,2019/02/24,"Stop recommending the ER Be depressed Go to ER 6000$ medical bill Be depressed and in debt Seriously for those with mental health issues in the United States please fucking stop recommending the ER. Its expensive and a horrible experience. If you live outside of the US great! Enjoy your healthcare.",7.261346153846155,9.626395519230767,7.4069230769230785,65.11307692307693,64.96153846153847,10.584615384615383,36.07692307692308,10.686352973137794,4.632638461538462,245,12,36,7,4,79,41,52,0.273,0.552,0.175,-0.7082,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,2,0,0,0,6,1,0,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,6,4,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,4,3,0,0,0,3,2,6,2,0,6,0,2,0,1,3,2,1,1,2,21,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42033902233990056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386932080020063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255876663265763,0.0,0.0,0.13867918235779034,0.0,0.0,0.2690270779492189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593762248600344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25468795902252833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21546945846684945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458191475119689,0.24590943364373746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26785487407001324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4080144456996153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935196500018917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,cynth313,2019/02/24,"Do you know how to explain mania? I figured out over 10 years ago that I'm bipolar (runs in the fam) but wasn't officially diagnosed until 2015. I have so many different types of mania that it's extremely hard for my husband to know when I'm manic vs just 'me'. We're coming up on 12 years together but he still doesn't know how often I am manic and which version of myself I am most of the time. My most obvious mania episodes involve an excessive amount of energy, hyperactivity, very fast talking, increased sex drive, etc. However, I have a vast amount of different 'types' of manic episodes. I tried to explain to my husband that 75% of the time I'm in an episode but they don't look the same. He thinks I'm trying to use my bipolar disorder as an excuse. I was only trying to explain some of my symptoms. Does anyone know how to tell loved ones about all the different forms of mania in a simple to understand way?",4.268297604035311,5.391859032786889,5.697814207650271,79.28462799495587,70.69398907103826,8.690878520386716,29.923917612442203,9.057496981413335,2.530574106767549,725,29,139,14,13,245,107,183,0.031,0.8959999999999999,0.07200000000000001,0.8056,4,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,1,0,9,1,0,0,10,0,9,6,0,4,2,29,26,11,0,0,5,2,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,10,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,2,2,16,1,28,24,11,22,0,0,1,2,14,8,0,4,9,88,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14147126636477414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159247819275957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374768912940886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198548342727564,0.0,0.5002281671986883,0.18290960392976893,0.0,0.13966258918475394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17799052179430658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429656998657083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3508367750513789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340195370261209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440406454782291,0.0,0.0,0.1618041985417896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814564752273892,0.12137912758861732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745270854053173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16588022873515113,0.0,0.1282763506145366,0.13949299371338167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226197999095364,0.0,0.0,0.1861221614966617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32506342192459464,0.0,0.0,0.16614393918732787,0.0,0.1378387684754625,0.0,0.1316825223793308,0.0,0.12667901823973407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20554779073493076 bipolarreddit,UncreativeAfffff,2019/02/24,"I tried Omega 3 supplements and it's made a huge difference. So basically, I did some research online on foods, medicines etc. and their relationship to bipolar disorder. I then came across a study that said that Omega 3 fatty acids help with depression in bipolar disorder and I also came across a piece that said that when post mortem are done in people with bipolar disorder they generally find levels of omega 3 in their brains less than in people without the disorder. So I decided to give omega 3 a shot. I've been taking 1500mg daily for the past 2 months. When I started I was super depressed. It took like a week for me to begin to feel the difference. At the moment I feel quite stable and happy. Anyone else can relate?",5.274892086330934,6.732148035971228,5.790712230215827,78.3034784172662,68.64028776978418,9.013237410071943,28.288489208633088,9.3871,2.515626762589928,583,20,105,12,10,188,89,139,0.126,0.748,0.126,0.0146,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,3,2,5,5,0,0,9,0,6,5,1,1,0,16,18,10,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,6,8,1,0,4,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,10,5,12,3,19,8,4,23,0,2,0,0,8,10,0,1,10,66,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019089875100598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910487152897241,0.13057127413421454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225857794614455,0.0,0.2915012767430755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195175722607716,0.0,0.0,0.26628298068871376,0.5842019829123127,0.0,0.0,0.13040930771928191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645482162068486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421226845635684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12886899934249094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11647244019951697,0.0,0.15409379503078666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224638118495633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356559474872143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541637744006328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06225785440636144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058120745659927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10171666663910947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165024855779735,0.17669349085929678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220466223369068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355418299513394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368165107444536,0.0,0.0,0.2424379838454517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019849752422164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581456858126124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158395147491346,0.08651937513603992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221993204482688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12284190535270195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,hazelerea,2019/02/25,"Bipolar disorder and pregnancy? I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant. This was not planned. I was not comfortable with terminating the pregnancy, so here we are. I was previously on 50mg seroquel, and 100mg lamictal, and since finding out I was pregnant, I had to drop the seroquel, but stayed on lamictal and actually bumped up to 200mg because I was not fairing well without the seroquel. I'm in therapy once a week and I see my psychiatric nurse once a month. My OB is okay with me taking lamictal I'd it is helping me, which was a relief as I was scared I was going to fave judgement and have to advocate hard for myself. Anyways, where I am at now is that I'm struggling to sleep more than 4 or 5 hours at a time. I'm craving coffee again, I want a pack of cigarettes, my driving habits are slipping into unsafe behaviors, and I'm picking fights and arguments...all which are my known mania symptoms. I'm sure there are more I'm just unaware of, and I've suspected an episode was coming on as soon as my sleep became troublesome, though I wanted to brush that off as 2nd trimester energy boosts, but it's clearly more than that. My therapist gave me a whole packet of stuff to help me calm my senses, and not agitate myself more, which I guess will be helpful, but I'm so, so, so scared. I'm not going to give in to the symptoms if I can help it, I'm definitely not going to pick up smoking again and will actively remove myself from the temptation, but I'm just so worried because this could go so many different ways and I feel more like a fish out of water than I've ever felt in my life. I guess I just needed to vent a little, but also, are there any moms here who have experienced pregnancy with their bipolar disorder? What did you experience while pregnant? What about post partum? Is there any advice/tips/suggestions you could give me? I tried researching on Google but it's just freaked me out even more so I thought that asking people who ACTUALLY have to deal with it would be better and more accurate.",5.456775818639798,5.988717528967258,6.296902770780858,78.20093098236778,67.66498740554154,9.777692695214107,32.504685138539045,9.791249743138472,3.0648463274559195,1597,66,307,34,25,528,200,397,0.105,0.755,0.14,0.9499,2,0,1,0,1,0,44.0,1,2,1,2,28,13,1,3,14,1,32,8,2,2,3,61,62,35,0,7,19,1,3,1,0,3,5,0,0,0,19,23,1,0,6,0,0,7,7,5,1,0,14,6,39,8,47,41,8,41,0,0,1,0,17,18,0,4,13,214,58,1,0.0,0.0,0.20390208902279325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835474029914315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209109582280238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766859949143257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273721255814903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239830176418587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999465099244561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16682714295634982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770756889294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091525489602349,0.23947131498068455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900374722006243,0.0945022425003873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219510883758247,0.0,0.0,0.05282492979388494,0.07463587389750863,0.10031092296547924,0.0,0.0954868666297354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004409605599407,0.2374987416389696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301786299692019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09358771603135882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.280105481662203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288533171847426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379270749489061,0.0510404644237751,0.1047098715997858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059197094130602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235807531958028,0.08338973378382246,0.0,0.0,0.07746576051076089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225216898613214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724287555370288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005671324247084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20919235499881186,0.0,0.08325183611792042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08642154099386677,0.0,0.2090978559439305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135482741599292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921836332643202,0.11959713779343085,0.0,0.0,0.09846501707009407,0.21717589263249332,0.07855105392857106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194745275903834,0.12130176080241847,0.0,0.0,0.10264466216111294,0.08294027210856214,0.06091932545237842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709306340654598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232423288383905,0.08292618437350953,0.16760464537954234,0.0,0.0939342039096235,0.0,0.0,0.11664090775461187,0.0,0.10070870510537026,0.0,0.0,0.10609788865494583,0.0,0.07421496161828628,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,StuddedMohawk,2019/02/25,"My Diagnosis is the worst thing to happen to me I was diagnosed a month ago after going in for a [TMS](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transcranial_magnetic_stimulation) consultation for what I thought was my life long clinical depression. The psychiatrist told me I was not a candidate because I was not depressed but had bipolar type 2. I got a second opinion and he also confirmed bipolar type 2. &#x200B; Ever since I got my diagnosis, I've kinda gone off the deep end. On one side, I got an answer to my problem and a potential solution. But on the other side, I am now unable to see any part of me with any normalcy. Everything about me is now seen with discernment and that is causing me to lose my mind, so to speak. I don't want to call it a mental health crisis, but that's what it feels like. &#x200B; I'm 27 and have obviously lived with this most of my life, but I always just thought I had depression that I was able to come in and out of depending on my lifestyle choices and I was probably a bit ADHD, loud, laughed too much etc... But now when I'm in a ""good"" mood, I just think I'm hypomanic. &#x200B; The doctor gave me a mood stabilizer that caused extremely vivid hallucinations and I was scared to sleep... I would stay up all night just because I knew I would wake up with crazy hallucinations - I saw my girlfriend turn into a wearwolf and bite my neck. CRAZY things like that... &#x200B; So now I'm depressed and it's hard for me to work, I keep having meltdowns and I don't know what to do... I'm fearing that this will ruin my career and even though I'm optimistic that I'll eventually find a drug that helps me, I don't know how much time I have to get stable. Why is this happening to me just because I got a diagnosis? &#x200B; I talk to my therapist and I try to go to support groups as often as possible but I don't know who else to ask... any insight would be helpful... :/",4.449268171915229,5.7241136336898375,5.6507248960190175,79.22135967518322,70.41711229946523,8.74929689047336,29.359873242226186,9.150863307647796,2.4077943355119817,1505,58,297,30,27,502,187,374,0.133,0.784,0.084,-0.9665,0,0,1,0,0,0,77.0,0,0,0,2,19,17,0,2,18,0,27,12,3,4,3,61,62,26,0,5,12,0,2,2,1,4,9,2,0,0,21,19,0,1,12,0,0,4,6,10,0,2,21,8,47,5,42,36,8,32,0,6,4,0,13,14,0,5,15,202,68,6,0.06931666906006431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330516593992826,0.0,0.061445044793259775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05543251520391068,0.05767702150055697,0.3755229098319062,0.4211366999774485,0.1414131357921255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648017285086498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12676439425486094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567584975370256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07078006917853448,0.0,0.0,0.1424146265599019,0.0,0.05971017267791081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23880938196289295,0.0703549599915443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094854798173622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038532952373158,0.0,0.057905182478981035,0.0,0.06139399450982221,0.0,0.07730640903593435,0.045783006173096864,0.06270089561902513,0.0,0.0,0.062297352586563125,0.0,0.0,0.07800052387368964,0.03504859060963696,0.049519842226635316,0.0,0.0,0.06335417974355767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0362150986438735,0.0,0.07878852086019979,0.058139533300493575,0.22175548978224227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12259300305599967,0.0,0.062094120296469615,0.0,0.0,0.07368037781727195,0.0,0.0,0.09292300427657348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06161184036914427,0.0,0.0,0.11428388558372185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792082658913467,0.06772924636510233,0.0,0.0612078887202844,0.06134307084978901,0.0,0.07754762216094234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985489895798748,0.0,0.069990075789518,0.0,0.05532790392414568,0.0,0.10191145487462168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504899827293165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046970768884594935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.075063197731961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814412934431388,0.0,0.0,0.07473509307834117,0.06632669086984425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939807811981177,0.0,0.05523641078147453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057339464945178775,0.0,0.06936672872947224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388234634174012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865973460966905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05571411292172242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048199536053573,0.09210182974070702,0.04441532264926519,0.0681032754115614,0.11005938497324404,0.04041910715880997,0.0,0.0,0.0662350477874849,0.0,0.04706146822612633,0.07539663115475786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040884767344594085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254751230853063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050463360633270886,0.0,0.0,0.14772171872362874,0.0,0.4211366999774485,0.0 bipolarreddit,brittymaa,2019/02/25,"I’m jealous I’m probably gonna sound like an asshole, but I’m jealous of everyone that get to be like the “fun” and excited hypomanic. I jump from like being really hyper one day to raging manic (like ready to kill everyone and agitated) the next day. Sorry if I sound like an idiot, I’m just having a hard time dealing with my rage today and I’m finding myself being envious of other people’s situations. I know that people with what I’m calling the “fun” manic struggle really hard and their situation probably isn’t any easier than mine. ",4.3904716981132115,5.929360075471699,7.0548584905660405,68.08247641509436,70.88679245283019,10.205660377358493,29.287735849056602,10.411451182825502,3.5724754716981133,432,17,72,13,8,157,67,106,0.262,0.521,0.217,-0.743,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,1,16,7,1,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,11,14,6,1,1,3,0,2,5,0,1,0,2,0,0,4,6,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,8,0,1,0,4,7,8,9,10,0,6,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,10,39,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101168362521719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16534695827212015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20886078992131155,0.16694102692675652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094589708592854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479995857025712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08460088374857466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29011200573163826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791497365296716,0.0,0.08899159080655515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3955500821949252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722126458517628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972684617163198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245214696173716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34917231531712256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20747090519305764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3640285180209603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18126553959695174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16928267827767582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09442172778789708,0.0,0.15348914967079225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ouidhead,2019/02/25,"I have the urge to break up with my SO when I’m manic Whenever I stop taking my seroquil for a while, I start to feel manic and can’t resist the urge to break up with my boyfriend. When I’m not manic, I really love him and he’s been my rock through everything and I adore him BUT when I’m manic I feel suffocated by him and I want to run and ghost him and I just don’t understand??? Has anyone ever felt like this? What can help? I try reminding myself of reasons why I love my SO to calm myself down and sort of talk myself down",0.7123162055335968,2.485442808695656,2.955098814229249,92.49667984189723,81.78260869565217,6.2687747035573125,18.280632411067195,7.348242739294969,0.1678695652173916,413,9,96,6,11,141,66,115,0.1,0.763,0.13699999999999998,0.6372,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,3,0,6,2,0,1,1,21,18,14,1,1,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,1,5,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,3,22,5,16,16,0,14,0,0,0,2,9,4,0,1,8,66,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18304941356136126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368037305234163,0.0,0.0,0.2352796614559764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26473743074992634,0.0,0.251359122725317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754720873353778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278972018378095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4725507688474385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677091563835982,0.2691633661582827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852960651040969,0.0,0.0,0.2188678735925729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968332402985617,0.21041660812678314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17773799129712034,0.0,0.0,0.2725322631735235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544103211476959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362244446971687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,asx523,2019/02/25,"Tired of mania and I just want it to stop I’ve been in a mixed episodes I guess since around December with about a month of hypomania preceding it. Right now I feel stable but I’m all over the place. I was switched from latuda to vraylar in December, and my doctor added 1 mg klonopin up to 2x a day and 100 mg trazodone. My meds I’m still on, and was on before is 500mg depakote 3x a day, lexapro 5 mg, and temazepam 30 mg. So I’m on a lot of meds and I was putting a lot of faith into trying this vraylar since it’s supposed to treat mixed episodes, and some of my symptoms have dissipated or gone away like I’m not as physically and mentally agitated, and my thoughts have slowed a bit, but I’m still having these outbursts of rage where I feel completely out of control and aggressive, and then I feel shame and embarrassment because I have no impulse control when, and leading up to these outbursts, and before. I had to move back home with my mom a couple weeks ago because I quit/was sort of pushed out of my job in December because my episode was escalating and I couldn’t manage my caseload. My boss was a social worker and said she’d call me in January to see if I was ready to come back to work and she never did so I just figure that my job I’ve built my career around is now just obsolete because of my circumstances for leaving. I blew all my savings in December and January by going on a trip to Vegas and then other stupid shit. I’m not hearing things anymore like I was, but my thoughts are disorganized and I’m not sure if my thinking is accurate. I ruined most of my relationships with people within a few weeks in December, so I’ve been isolating myself from the people I do know, but I still keep putting myself in not-so-ideal circumstances with people I don’t really know or really care to be around if it weren’t for the impulse to do some of these things. I don’t know why I can’t control this. The klonopin and trazodone aren’t cutting it for sleep. I’m supposed to use the klonopin and temazepam and trazodone together, but apparently there’s been a shortage of temazepam so I haven’t been able to fill that since early December. My therapist and psychiatrist have been trying to keep me out of the hospital, but I’m starting to feel crappy and just kind of weak feeling. I cry nearly everyday, which is very abnormal for me, and I feel like I can’t eat so my body’s starting to feel like shit. My therapist brought up the prospect of ECT today. I’m 25 and the thought that I’m already having to escalate to even having that kind of conversation was terrifying to me. I know it has advanced over the years, but it’s still kind of scary. She also said if I don’t seem better next week she’s probably going to hospitalize me. I’m so exhausted from it all and tired of going several nights with no sleep that I don’t care anymore, but I think that means I probably don’t need to go then. I also read relapses happen within a year for most people even with successful ECT treatments. I’m just feeling so worthless. Has anyone had ECT treatments? Did it actually help? Or just any advice in general? Thanks ",4.363037288625524,5.405855252782196,5.349615190056369,82.17026466974998,70.39904610492846,8.70705304234716,30.511670761670764,9.033387906413283,2.4649456279809216,2490,102,500,47,44,819,252,629,0.146,0.762,0.093,-0.9904,6,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,0,9,33,28,6,2,22,0,46,12,5,6,5,113,101,57,0,7,24,1,8,4,0,0,6,3,1,0,24,42,1,6,20,1,0,15,17,12,0,0,25,12,61,16,86,73,11,78,1,2,1,0,13,31,2,16,36,328,85,11,0.06651502594376398,0.0,0.06490907041326954,0.0,0.0,0.06499771353626516,0.058961557212132164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340098512984189,0.10638408443202214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04523249853918816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319300652311491,0.04650885269126507,0.0,0.0,0.17763742528309395,0.0,0.0,0.0624930564149283,0.10229189844646026,0.0,0.16218776978067287,0.0,0.1131987760299903,0.0,0.0,0.05882713516100992,0.07261718108990796,0.0738831990842905,0.0,0.0,0.06791927831431288,0.0,0.13563300388753086,0.0,0.0,0.057296805207653165,0.06973973920071021,0.0,0.2238067724501602,0.0,0.07359761107076189,0.07306363269422507,0.08579337816584859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808094753641916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06806147703490151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786509463541202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26905596536063003,0.09503669564911116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120808833286184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732738000473879,0.0,0.058819017772823924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496726840346027,0.0,0.04458361981353292,0.0,0.0667199943253152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13201179962462525,0.11824322247930225,0.0,0.2077954917374032,0.1462196749619436,0.0,0.0,0.07042980846287666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998352748954733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309739291510225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245436280079201,0.147766398168581,0.0,0.06703150165025018,0.0,0.0,0.07790159448207476,0.05309165911794919,0.07069494608355127,0.0,0.04932004892846754,0.051300488529111066,0.0,0.07073948468771002,0.062419845996793365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18445257586636904,0.0,0.06949404510961868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14342889588961633,0.0,0.0,0.13373194529384527,0.0,0.07074691758757135,0.06653302585442565,0.0,0.08522245766831073,0.0,0.0,0.07141224531004113,0.0,0.05680346872404717,0.12654204292039392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05300386394774021,0.06055278148953708,0.0,0.07514304656704207,0.13655343656933394,0.165065750423982,0.0,0.13312612460003867,0.06780369251493397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415935542791168,0.0,0.2124759425586065,0.055609540034691936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268962477899942,0.069134580104137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06123809931344764,0.0,0.15445814353177342,0.08837925534712032,0.08524028573146156,0.0,0.15841650239655733,0.0,0.15289847513352575,0.06304846719684437,0.0,0.0,0.09031867290968502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05744762623782849,0.0,0.05488186242065087,0.03923228564652997,0.0,0.1600630250627153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060019465163780185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04842373107719576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566699185399164 bipolarreddit,tomatosoup04,2019/02/25,"Seroquel - maybe bipolar? Hey guys. This subreddit is new to me, I didnt think I was bipolar. I had a ""mental health consult"" with my new GP today. He thinks I MIGHT be bipolar. He's prescribed me 25mg Seroquel to take an hour before bed, daily. Only until I get an actual psychiatrist to weigh in on it (appt isnt until june). I hadn't heard about the drug until today, I've only ever been on citalopram 20mg for depression, it didnt help and made me suicidal. I dont have problems sleeping. Actually, I told him I sleep too much, if anything. It seems that a lot of people that are prescribed seroquel do. I'm reading all of these horror stories about being crazy high and hallucinations that I've kind of scared myself from taking it. I dont know if I should be taking it given he doesnt know what my actual diagnosis is. Should I be terribly concerned about the side effects? Any advice? I'm really new to this. ",2.4577627772420456,4.552360530054647,4.470530376084864,82.18423336547734,77.5792349726776,6.71025393764063,24.42590806814529,7.724431198458867,1.4296675666988103,719,25,136,11,17,246,112,183,0.138,0.8490000000000001,0.013,-0.9707,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,1,5,5,0,1,6,0,22,8,2,2,2,19,37,7,1,5,2,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,1,1,12,3,1,0,6,1,0,0,7,4,0,0,10,1,19,1,19,20,3,16,0,1,0,0,10,5,0,5,11,87,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.3656751050406994,0.0,0.0,0.12205816317837805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494138312390884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10278822952574518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628708245677124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758264654801357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927813190035154,0.0,0.14485304426006146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112985984657397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652590132779738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367806273002405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327708313481813,0.0,0.0,0.08372286417808752,0.13197163143512053,0.0,0.0,0.12300872660209193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13007193975658862,0.13729179055226684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10619188959453592,0.0,0.1181904964466868,0.0,0.0,0.12548637225702622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587738123977224,0.13250711831808387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182138439329712,0.0,0.0,0.3619093249609339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18999556428909573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659513303959486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11951960818119893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249413015422414,0.0,0.08001894281048276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250541975881876,0.0,0.0,0.11371109661928085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499954130028048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662853147238654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817446847557989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16007136465465496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23679540951745426,0.11935446885112745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,tragiccity,2019/02/25,"That darn Facebook This is just a vent, FYI. After fiiiinally finding the right med combination about two years ago, I'm finally getting my shit together, getting things done, and living the kind of ""normal"" life I've always wanted. For the first time ever, I'm really proud of myself. I usually just lurk on Facebook, but I felt the need to do a little bragging and let people know that my life is changing, and I'm happy about it. Like most people, my Facebook friends list is an assortment of old classmates, former coworkers, family, and some randoms I can't quite place. A handful of these are people I speak to in real life on a regular basis. I got ZERO replies or feedback from anyone. I'm a little hurt and annoyed - c'mon, guys, I give you courtesy likes for pictures of your average kids and stupid dogs - but not too terribly surprised. 99% of these people only ever knew me when I was un-/improperly medicated and a total fucking mess. It's kind of a relief, though, too, because now I no longer feel obligated hand out those courtesy likes for dumb fucking shit that I don't care about. I already knew, on an intellectual level, that these people aren't really my friends (at least not anymore) and give as much of a shit about me as I do about them (so, none), but I feel like now that I've ""confirmed"" that, I can just relax and go about my business. I'm still proud of myself for what I've accomplished so far, and not having that recognized on social media doesn't change that. I guess it's just hard knowing that no matter how much positive change I make in my life, the people who only ever saw the old me will never really SEE the new me. Vent over.",5.392117057349251,6.1590462538699695,6.263679787704557,77.5502683178535,67.88544891640868,8.753000147427391,29.31284092584402,8.841846274778883,2.3218655167330087,1312,45,241,21,21,434,176,323,0.124,0.68,0.195,0.9824,0,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,0,2,1,5,23,26,8,0,17,0,16,12,5,2,5,46,43,21,0,3,11,0,6,4,2,1,5,1,0,2,20,11,0,0,8,1,0,1,11,11,0,3,7,9,30,15,34,34,7,35,0,1,2,2,12,15,7,5,23,164,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881419817799724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811545118576406,0.0,0.07398103814809416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08817577756091187,0.06216860792622361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054199293717564524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065064555036337,0.0,0.2821680077733989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098677751748037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412751506593994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381733672522733,0.0,0.08991210195912933,0.06351800494449827,0.0853684611458831,0.09739760669118472,0.08126300329853359,0.0756276140068457,0.0,0.0,0.1373847685652525,0.16439349281076798,0.09290461000256488,0.17058298187021406,0.05053014541791192,0.0,0.07111021392189497,0.0,0.09794544227202813,0.08803582529559811,0.0,0.09464736627167282,0.07964675295136565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518101761708317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517415799545447,0.09772627271792698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09091747671623472,0.2512017513703869,0.17374960872519796,0.17822427191369658,0.07851000333531326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05934875373376615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09876002890669117,0.08956843456316473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13071956620947134,0.06592634750828685,0.06857361068356395,0.08587075563178828,0.0,0.0,0.0871138595885124,0.0,0.0,0.1865941844039967,0.0,0.0,0.1352415774914375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3698379729813885,0.0,0.09289302559894352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456774628879673,0.0,0.10120013335257932,0.17087590589883947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592947087723008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085052082914171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737974568651884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063352312500346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100440455050018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059068488648384175,0.0,0.08735456313714522,0.0,0.051844693620299885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868530850358499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792285711689096,0.0,0.05244198562797076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057255740795666275 bipolarreddit,Kimi147,2019/02/25,"How i solved my bipolar disorder. Hello, Let me get straight to the point. Bipolar and many other mental disorders does not exist. There are only consequences of poisoning your body/mind. I tought i have bipolar disorder for 2 years, went to psychiatrist, gave me many drugs. Those drugs only destroy you, no drug cant help you. &#x200B; How i fixed my bipolar disorder? \- Stopped eating sugar \- Started meditating \- Cold showers \- Minimize meat consumption \- Never eat processed meat \- Dont ever ever take any drug, even for a headache, NOTHING. \- Stop smoking if you smoke cigarettes (i had biggest improvement when stopped smoking) \- Dont drink so much alcohol &#x200B; And many more things you can do to stop all mental disorders, but these are main that helped me. Im now 1.5 years free of all ""bipolar"" and other disorders. I feel like a god and i have a will to live and achieve my dreams, you can all do it to!! &#x200B;",3.5177710843373475,6.597901921686753,3.783144578313258,82.72254819277111,80.98795180722891,6.934457831325301,29.986746987951808,8.07648339933343,2.6707720481927724,733,36,122,15,20,227,105,166,0.1,0.784,0.116,0.7905,1,0,8,0,0,0,54.0,0,6,0,1,9,4,2,0,4,0,14,15,0,2,6,21,20,11,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,11,0,1,0,7,5,5,4,1,2,1,1,6,2,0,0,3,3,19,3,9,15,6,16,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,1,13,78,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356820200578978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541773958453337,0.28505166234220136,0.05317625348086025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5377192964725209,0.0,0.06843022234887876,0.0,0.1832912658259889,0.0766027311478367,0.3627321296527921,0.16002893812969682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0516480041491016,0.14146629449539025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0395384642586096,0.0558635448077462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04085440693752464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10482683667119316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446556235689674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799611470603112,0.0,0.038202825564301636,0.0,0.06904887980992015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378367180752255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576072177338706,0.0,0.07895610242599421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05748337302606405,0.0,0.0603099070318333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503158300552695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189438164921078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392090112911362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534783522394951,0.0,0.0,0.261502865624535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05879398326413775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05195023309088792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248887349625563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28505166234220136,0.10071187356196866 bipolarreddit,POISUNBPOET,2019/02/25,"Shocked, Embarrassed & Ashamed Hello everyone, my first time ever using Reddit. I was first diagnosed with severe depression at the age of thirteen. In 2017, I was told that they have misdiagnosed me and I am bipolar with insomnia and anxiety. I was told that my medication is very important to keep me regulated and without it could be dangerous for my life. I refuse to take the medication because of the feeling zoned out like a zombie, incapacitated and no ambition. The breakup I experienced in 2017 seemed to have an impact on my mental health causing me to have rages of anger and outbursts verbally and physically (breaking things, throwing and punching anything). Recently, I have been going through overwhelming troubling events that caused me to lose everything, facing homelessness, out of my control, no family support, no job, no money, pushed away friends, and no where to go. The person that I've been dating could relate to having bipolar and understand, but I managed to destroy it. Rages are heightened and outburst increasing. I've done something that brought me so much shame, embarrassment and shock. Two days ago on Instagram, I uploaded seven videos of me and in those videos I was having a manic tantrum attack. At that moment and in the mindset I was in didn't realize that I just showed my mental illness for the world to see, I just snapped. My inbox and notifications were sounding off rapidly like a person ring the doorbell. I snapped out of that trans and watched the videos and I immediately removed them. I turned my phone off for the day. Throughout the day my mania were in and out and I haven't slept since that day. Well this is who I am and wanted to share. Thanks!",6.2786445012787695,8.26170818300654,6.257519181585677,73.8957928388747,66.84313725490196,9.243307757885765,34.872975277067354,9.653516015845867,3.65027127024723,1368,66,224,30,23,432,172,306,0.198,0.7390000000000001,0.063,-0.9905,2,0,1,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,2,4,7,24,7,5,15,0,26,11,2,4,1,43,43,21,0,3,4,0,1,2,1,0,9,2,0,2,15,25,0,3,4,4,1,7,8,17,1,4,15,6,35,7,40,25,2,41,0,3,2,0,12,19,0,1,16,167,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755888945727694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314697622344826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09282330137700168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985090363315696,0.0,0.0,0.13803958634533184,0.11400112318264152,0.0,0.0,0.0739665691765862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492952707056399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13609097766956246,0.1937571718094383,0.0,0.0,0.31301210193980794,0.0,0.10450831308827148,0.12315560009701144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417098659018805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975724280859782,0.0,0.11594373813448712,0.10905084507439687,0.0,0.1143867458382506,0.0,0.061352180565564886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064202228260652,0.0,0.0,0.09374550193260033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13791845761066462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289767082029646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204093246027736,0.1078508633173154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857046764153491,0.11855931665962155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13574627779583678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444707064146798,0.2445604972818124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08919745234274871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21189546769270054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980671862572738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669074245533099,0.11046163362224813,0.0,0.13707749627624227,0.0,0.1003721161296056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341198433471708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13769301866548914,0.0,0.0,0.09123113770420953,0.0,0.0,0.1117118045395442,0.0,0.0,0.08061163074439102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07075321197150733,0.0,0.0,0.2318874762689743,0.0,0.0,0.1319809911948386,0.11852967597661145,0.12631722361888728,0.0,0.10479714533092656,0.0,0.1001166260259089,0.07156834511391011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909750873370684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696558205107455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,fundawunda,2019/02/26,"So lonely I feel so lonely all the time. Is this my depression? Or am I just honestly lonely. I have like 2 friends and rarely see them. I’m married, 3 kids. So I am not totally alone. Just want to talk more to people. ",-1.1473291925465858,0.9153765652173932,1.5945962732919268,95.33456521739132,98.56521739130434,5.237267080745342,17.440993788819874,6.868970318607317,0.19417763975155333,166,5,38,3,7,57,35,46,0.223,0.5539999999999999,0.224,-0.2402,0,7,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,5,7,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,2,9,8,5,0,1,4,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,6,3,2,8,3,1,0,4,1,0,4,0,0,1,2,25,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4475485737097499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3721864636113633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184941125234373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33385676041193685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111132190912592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2995793221872308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3443456738987917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3473236853785261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519740963628258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548770378865978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,catchmeifyoucanlove,2019/02/26,"Worried about this This is the first time I've ever openly spoke about this part of my bipolar to anyone except the psych. I am not for sure if I'm able to bring myself out of this mania this time. So let me start at the beginning of this episode. I lost my mom tragically on Christmas. I was the one that found her and well needless to say there is a lot I don't remember for a couple weeks after. I was able to get the stuff that needed done done with my siblings and I went into a massive depression/anxiety/mania almost to the point of a nervous breakdown. I shut down completely for a couple days and things have not been the same since then. I have tried to take each day as it comes and deal with my issues as I always have. I go for a more natural treatment because I couldn't handle the side effects of the meds. But I seem to have hit a mania where I am not sleeping and am not making the best decisions. I don't know if anyone else has experienced this or not or if there is something else wrong with me, but I tend to, in my mania go from timid to housekeeper of the year to gourmet chef to Julia Roberts in pretty woman without getting paid to depressed and feeling worthless. This cycle has gone on for the last month and I'm starting to worry. (My mania does this, but usually doesn't last this long) Has/does anyone else been able to calm down the mania without the meds or should I just deal with the mental fog, lack of feeling, and general distortion I feel when I take the meds to get back on track to where I was before my tragedy?",6.68879746835443,5.47622493670886,6.8625000000000025,81.03875000000002,65.45569620253164,9.545569620253163,31.775316455696203,8.278499904357787,2.1752063291139234,1224,38,252,13,16,395,162,316,0.117,0.8370000000000001,0.046,-0.9697,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,4,12,11,0,2,23,0,25,2,1,2,2,55,54,22,0,7,18,1,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,15,17,0,0,9,0,1,6,11,7,1,2,13,6,30,4,51,37,7,42,0,4,0,0,7,16,0,9,20,186,45,1,0.28773072687898976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604025345064077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980500479709086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20118801430641509,0.19654275475447106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07374905613737046,0.0,0.05846599349512644,0.0,0.08161255206820603,0.0,0.10065188209477932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261818126218219,0.10056006427548576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21224571771047426,0.0,0.12370834364521012,0.19775849679894564,0.08260735114830321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393169935831858,0.1962989543812293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24036210150693435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675630511901299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14548530085103342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158120309865291,0.0,0.1051606302389898,0.0,0.0,0.15032742914646868,0.0,0.10901600189502188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010537469065016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052709760894703576,0.15635929687661654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980747208623136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487754630998796,0.0,0.0,0.10469735919573024,0.08153945821478444,0.0,0.0,0.0640208314858121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196039733133574,0.0,0.09665496590160524,0.0,0.0,0.11232891659853653,0.0765546403611842,0.0,0.0,0.0711162293859896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06499126235431467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386144601843353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066617989684812,0.0,0.0,0.09757519676648736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086476079336173,0.0,0.0,0.07627167422664011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731308244676203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793379435338634,0.0,0.09597950752294956,0.0,0.0,0.07383639026763475,0.0,0.0,0.13577152628458186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979428110105433,0.0,0.0,0.09039426831005512,0.0,0.14422513205481288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06371850325356164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11185206714156727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06511675880329365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10563158178876736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693341115080922,0.0,0.08623482617845264,0.08890975548920754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18490810201094213,0.0,0.0,0.1948030132849773,0.0,0.0,0.10486279370531816,0.0,0.061763051495876437 bipolarreddit,Noots_up,2019/02/26,"Anyone had Strattera-induced hypomania? I've been diagnosed with ADHD recently and stimulant medication isn't working too well for me. I'm trying Concerta soon, but if that doesn't work my only other option is Strattera. But I've seen a couple of articles saying that they've induced hypomania in a couple of people. Is it like an anti-depressant in that sense where it can cause mania in people with Bipolar?",6.869210526315792,8.093062236842108,8.348526315789478,62.280684210526346,64.78947368421052,10.81684210526316,34.93684210526314,10.793553405168565,4.4524926315789495,334,15,48,9,5,116,55,76,0.02,0.927,0.052000000000000005,0.4944,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,3,0,7,3,0,3,0,10,9,4,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,2,2,2,8,6,0,6,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,2,3,34,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801044172168808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16296771272574148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394267241751045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5157742513194009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007425410114285,0.23656078040777326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386605420914585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23479314400133255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17725996515279782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32316228691832544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301281536030153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18534633393539224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582389877280307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20955759856847814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3393549502363502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Burntjellytoast,2019/02/26,"Involuntary med change The past year and a half I have tried several different med combos. Lamictal and risperidone were sort of working but the risperidone had some very unfortunate side effects. My psydoc took me off the risperidone and put me in Saphris last December. Between the Saphris and the lamictal I have been the most stable I have Ever been. Last week I went to refill my saphris, and out of nowhere my insurance no longer covers it. It was 2 Months ago I got it filled! So instead of a $50 copay it's now $360. My psydoc prescribed me geodon in its place, but I'm so frustrated. I dont want a new med. I liked what I was on. Now I get to play another round of what weird side effects am I going to get, and the possibility of it not working as well. Uuuuggggghhhhh. Life sucks so hard right now, with several other things going on in my life. I just need a win for once. I want to cry. I'm also a few days into a hypomanic episode, so I got that going for me too. ",2.591256684491981,4.376480116161616,4.328110516934046,84.77687165775403,76.12121212121212,7.487106357694593,26.29352346999405,8.313332769828598,1.6977922756981587,765,29,160,14,17,258,114,198,0.138,0.775,0.086,-0.8637,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,5,13,7,2,0,13,0,11,2,0,2,1,22,26,14,0,3,4,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,11,9,0,0,2,1,0,7,3,3,1,1,10,2,22,4,22,16,3,32,0,0,1,0,0,12,1,3,14,106,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202581803354893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849065912916207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14225580463594106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351479787556146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14902081851223775,0.08749222400910832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174027627810912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15899750149721842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271608944089413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14175795227218102,0.0,0.2313033747925201,0.0,0.21700620261849807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152852913544525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22116895635543976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19164735679138245,0.06627870441600463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4520772262140953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10828591744186357,0.0,0.0,0.100593329257837,0.0,0.13102538698662095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14447800852688186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295068862101983,0.0,0.0,0.14174027627810912,0.0,0.0,0.15294106840457794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363800512925892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11585653616509642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3065239953722937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901293056865137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15072798379150185,0.09210712681279096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193722181360746,0.160036590121912,0.0,0.10882168564952822,0.0,0.12197846171200966,0.12576212751124308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19753039301344671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736333504652084 bipolarreddit,Liquid_Entropy,2019/02/26,"New to sub Do people push the med agenda here as on other BP subs? Cuz that shit sucks. ",-1.6543859649122794,0.26173163157894663,0.5431578947368436,102.44877192982456,101.10526315789473,2.533333333333333,6.333333333333332,3.1291,-2.569750877192983,67,0,16,0,3,22,19,19,0.264,0.736,0.0,-0.7269,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5773937054975615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5020374572283527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603720385285061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5335793232859517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Triposer,2019/02/26,"Latuda and pristiq Hi, has anyone taken that combination? I have been on latuda for a couple of years, but I’m sinking into deeper depression that latuda alone can’t handle. My pdoc wants me to start on a small does of pristiq. Any thoughts? ",3.979130434782608,6.168375826086957,5.055869565217392,79.29728260869571,73.34782608695652,6.339130434782609,24.54347826086957,7.1686216300943375,1.3060608695652167,192,6,32,2,4,63,38,46,0.16899999999999998,0.831,0.0,-0.8364,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,9,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,3,0,7,6,0,6,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4016322581664074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637096899531126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711509538360476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4290809445325134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3340019354773888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33935660257713673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27447891701767124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078610002368035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22872788853427906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24972328072325664 bipolarreddit,SmokeyAx,2019/02/26,"Aripiprazole prescribed to my 16 year old brother. Hi, My little brother, 16y, has been diagnosed with Major depression and anxiety. He describes intense feelings of anger, anxiety, and goes through episodes of blacking out. The psych has just prescribed him Aripiprazole 5mg. My mom is very concerned and wants to consider other options, mainly due to his age. Do you guys have any suggestions? Thanks.",5.604514925373135,9.188051746268659,4.759832089552241,75.85377798507467,76.31343283582089,8.126119402985074,38.22574626865672,8.841846274778883,4.511120895522389,325,20,45,8,8,97,55,67,0.14400000000000002,0.8,0.056,-0.765,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,6,1,0,0,0,9,9,3,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,6,1,8,8,2,6,0,1,1,0,10,2,0,1,4,27,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19983952854945625,0.0,0.4496146570109323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531070789711019,0.2982686570891169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14858790418271953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909743736080184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945317756021877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441732917110741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083638152056193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27055310432302737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24247091949954966,0.17333027625541522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18924061037132206 bipolarreddit,SealEvil,2019/02/26,"Someone be my friend. Please. I need someone who understands. Bipolar is different. People think that they understand when they have depression and things like that, but they don't. They can't. I just need someone who won't run away when I get bad. I am very supportive as well, even when I am going through a tough time. Right now, I am laying in bed. I can't do anything. I have a son that I need to be taking care of, but I am frozen here. My post history tells you who I am. If we have stuff in common, let's definitely talk. I am more comfortable talking to girls than guys these days, but I guess that it doesn't matter. Let's be friends. Let's build each other up.",0.7630018248175183,3.1043484890510946,2.1333166058394184,95.01851505474457,86.00729927007298,5.760766423357666,20.24133211678832,7.1686216300943375,0.4325624087591251,521,16,116,8,16,167,86,137,0.071,0.723,0.205,0.9624,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,1,4,0,8,10,0,0,2,0,22,1,0,0,0,16,34,9,0,4,5,1,0,1,2,1,1,0,1,2,12,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,5,3,1,0,0,0,21,7,10,27,2,15,0,1,0,0,17,5,0,2,8,82,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11746513320154628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411152661144413,0.0,0.11918424648522155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14553576232116794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920572746720896,0.0,0.12294413441348424,0.0,0.0,0.14913580827564032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428025010630804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22056541244764605,0.0,0.074577203271885,0.0,0.08112400291192197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15724724871401013,0.14133777942981984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4378924452842319,0.0,0.06973690480995418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175258548932739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895986032674968,0.0,0.0,0.15668869122667994,0.0,0.0,0.13670811121649634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190154145809395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36283644494217865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634063151266794,0.0,0.16198279825175085,0.0,0.0,0.10732479479529736,0.2294624551673808,0.12476346833526655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483195042252393,0.09146380017277576,0.0,0.0,0.0832344542339279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29720050511620943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117777730435257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834288853752818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,GomezTE,2019/02/26,"I used amphetamines to trigger mania. So I have bipolar II and since I started medication (mood stabilizers with ssri's that supposedly affect the noradrenaline (don't know the correct english term) just like stimulants) Since I started this I managed to pull out of my cannabis addiction, alcohol problem and get my grades up. Last year I tried elvanse (active substanse lisdex(in swedish) amphetamine on two occasions and it triggered a full blown mania episode for a solid month. Like not even hypomania, mania. Today I did the same but I could only get my hands on normal street amphetamines, I snorted around 0.3g of it on different occasions between 07:00 and 13:30, where I snorted 0.2g. The effect should wear off around 21:30. Should I expect the same thing? I am very careful when it comes to this, and I know it's a bad idea just talking about the substance itself. But how bad is this, could this lead to developing bipolar I? I had a much worse deppressive period during autumn than I usually do. The same duration but worse and it led to drug/alkohol problems when I first started ssri without mood stabilizers. I am certain this period was because the stimulant even though I only used it twice during spring when I didn't have any medication. But could this be remedied by just using this substance every couple of month and keeping my regular medications? ",6.257830551989732,8.39723091056911,6.5358964484381685,71.26415275994866,67.130081300813,9.243988018827556,34.898587933247754,9.682069395223575,3.8169951219512193,1108,54,172,25,19,356,144,246,0.1,0.8590000000000001,0.041,-0.9581,1,0,4,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,3,15,10,0,0,12,0,17,9,2,12,2,51,30,17,0,9,9,0,1,2,0,2,7,0,0,0,16,12,1,1,4,0,0,4,4,4,0,3,4,3,24,4,23,20,6,33,0,0,0,0,1,11,0,0,20,124,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643628845471655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394829832242155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887098168819917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20649516120956712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19367839561455888,0.07070087345130165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11825024607761687,0.0,0.0,0.09990726624154858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778039072964906,0.12833064770959368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12117534375269992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450100976869364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320856671265926,0.0,0.09771890121463132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865328495210793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119045515726383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092830646199236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308914316151432,0.0,0.0,0.12748012688693805,0.09453990431488747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133248079090042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3505156316398246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18514967818813044,0.0,0.08525929836231247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11363664616585033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17641738479846353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22195609446314105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918811798226525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462756105975465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322104531681252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705254910979893,0.0,0.11395063459565995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099363215021858,0.0,0.0,0.07874341045952392,0.0,0.11329647589087985,0.0,0.0,0.30051074935262273,0.127736563599676,0.09569637994335548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180143822823893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23638886887320945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468788994648971 bipolarreddit,Greanbeens,2019/02/26,"Just started Lithium. Bipolar II. Looking for others experiences and advice as I’m feeling very anxious. Hi guys. Long time lurker of this sub so I know you all are kind and give good advice. I just started 450mg of the extended release type of Lithium last night. I took it after a meal but by the time it hit my stomach I had really bad nausea. I went and laid down and after about 30 mins that passed thankfully. I woke up during the night quite thirsty and today I have been drinking plenty of water. I have been feeling dizzy at times, have been sweaty - sometimes hot flashes and then feel cold later. Hands and feet sweating a lot. Also I am feeling very anxious (there is a lot going on in my life so that would make sense but I wasn’t anxious this badly and in this way before the lithium). I feel ‘out of it’ too - like dissociated maybe - the anxiety makes this scary, although I am in a rational state of mind. I also have a feeling of just being a bit unwell in some hard to define way. I feel a icky lol I have no symptoms of toxicity at all thankfully. No shakes. However searching reddit and Google I can’t kind anyone reporting anxiety, dizziness and feeling slightly out of it and unwell. I know it is early days and I might need to adjust but after hours of obsessive Googling and worry I just need some feedback as to whether what I am feeling is normal or not? I am also on Lamictal 200mg but have been for many months already. I was on 25mg Seroquel since the Friday before last to help with sleep but my last dose of that was Saturday night. I stopped it as it wasn’t helping me sleep and I was getting no benefit. If anyone has some experience with lithium I’d really appreciate some reassurance. Especially regarding the feeling of not quite being here or right in some way. Thank you 🙏🏻 ",2.6273722334004006,4.983736791549298,4.154446680080486,83.34281690140847,78.26760563380282,6.536016096579478,26.48088531187123,7.658307877764058,1.688885714285714,1431,58,266,22,35,475,187,355,0.123,0.73,0.147,0.7982,1,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,2,0,2,13,13,0,2,14,1,30,13,6,2,2,64,60,33,0,5,15,0,13,1,0,2,4,0,0,1,16,18,3,1,13,1,0,5,8,4,0,0,13,15,30,9,42,42,10,49,0,0,1,0,8,15,0,11,26,183,46,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618622910498909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09139438121778176,0.19869435439222674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12671477298225958,0.2806904661428717,0.0,0.11581991182674173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830316485358474,0.0,0.0,0.14094813675280046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041843675192696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341231249267682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113247113946892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16202850474086994,0.0,0.0,0.4187648746060615,0.05916691701390981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04327024561803035,0.07944888336086231,0.04706874725134687,0.069465830005563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200522629870298,0.0,0.0,0.07419081922391213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102554926473512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156142034452349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17248942325583336,0.09103186211583204,0.20252906262800247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058498504440070015,0.040461868605704415,0.0,0.0,0.07329345610062671,0.06954828503142424,0.0,0.0,0.14082190074881856,0.0,0.0,0.11056653275281644,0.08396689594049449,0.08320423304821538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785936635815034,0.08362500403541859,0.0,0.06610646061939057,0.0,0.0,0.12282056829276565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331640314020857,0.08114641676070697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17617939989616627,0.0,0.0,0.10611374998136397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07072817709291544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06850989848688573,0.0,0.16576044259105238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191150259548619,0.0,0.11724142407593467,0.0,0.0,0.06924157069943508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608211672080017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22874971707008485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448797402118134,0.0,0.07850406416197392,0.0,0.09201652218629973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667102279736446,0.0,0.19721695799443453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677534924332348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410814593018072,0.0,0.058833242594433136,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,euthymicfornow,2019/02/27,"[tw suicide] If I never kill myself, all of this planning will have been such a waste There's probably a better way to think about this, but I'm having a hard time seeing it right now. I'm pretty sure I never feel this way when I'm ""up"", but at the moment, it feels like I've invested so much time in considering methods and logistics (off and on since I was 13) that it would be a shame not to actually do it one day. Won't it have been such a colossal waste of time otherwise?",5.971089108910888,4.3327437326732685,7.12562376237624,79.95378217821784,67.11881188118812,10.456237623762377,30.1009900990099,9.3871,2.2488756435643555,371,10,83,6,5,127,71,101,0.109,0.7490000000000001,0.142,0.5376,0,0,1,0,0,2,13.0,0,0,0,2,7,5,1,1,6,0,11,0,0,0,4,14,18,7,2,2,4,0,3,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,3,0,1,0,4,2,0,1,3,4,4,3,10,11,2,17,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,1,10,57,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.20732938874545168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879027676243669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13701851328544387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148513623803682,0.1517807903569177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19032158083182274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350544644020796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379676187704316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561818502621715,0.0,0.3277230396727199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14396775321592828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21614723793929652,0.2290667939310833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181438870934292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16930235856814085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17574832464512372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323957211596821,0.0,0.20024014368652213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613518283862736,0.0,0.0,0.3716597481475033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372802152160477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15092481594307172,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,annachristineAAC,2019/02/27,"Hitting low I've had some really low lows, and I think I'm headed for another one. It hit me so suddenly yesterday. I have an extremely long Self harm history, and when my best friend released a new album with a self harm tw I got really scared and felt so small and vulnerable. It's stuck like that since then. It reminded me of when I was hurting myself daily and my drug habit and I'm just so lost right now. I was just manic, how did this happen?",1.0977419354838671,3.3359121612903238,3.3896881720430123,87.32453225806455,83.3010752688172,7.590967741935482,20.052688172043013,8.548686976883017,1.3100675268817206,353,10,75,9,10,121,66,93,0.254,0.652,0.094,-0.9319,0,0,1,0,1,1,9.0,0,0,0,2,9,11,0,1,3,0,5,2,1,1,0,13,15,13,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,5,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,0,1,8,1,10,3,3,5,2,13,0,5,0,0,3,5,0,1,9,45,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22821152208502915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283967559524989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523899923383241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20896578873111654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16814591792758568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17406430594589453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19245580807690385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22335849852046474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23298506440915576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632651550008296,0.0,0.0,0.192602024194188,0.0,0.0,0.23757665231317746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21019531028994026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474765615709551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.278847855300849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18586093220870825,0.0,0.0,0.2178927486984149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4540860131117913,0.0,0.0,0.1800316948868741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13945309435899986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ohsovogue,2019/02/27,"Doctor is forcing me to come off Depakote because I am a 'woman of childbearing age'. She knows I have an IUD and do not want kids but insists despite my protests. I feel totally enraged and dehumanised. I have recently moved back to the UK (specifically London) after having attended university in the US. This is important because the two countries have different rules regarding prescription medications. It was in the US that I received my bipolar diagnosis and started treatment. When I first moved back my GP was happy to renew all my prescriptions from the US, so I do currently have enough Depakote to last me a few months, but he also referred me to a new psychiatrist. I met with her for the first time yesterday and she said that in the UK, they do not prescribe Depakote to women of childbearing age because it can cause birth defects and she would not be able to keep me on as a patient if I were to continue to take it. I'm on a lot of medications for a multitude of health conditions and it took months of painful trial and error to find a drug for bipolar that didn't give me unbearable side effects and also played nice with my other medications. Finally finding Depakote was the best thing that happened to me. I really don't want to go through the pain of finding a new drug all over again. Especially as I've recently been through some trauma (coming out of an emotionally abusive relationship), and am worried how the instability of coming off and on medications might impact me. What makes me the most angry about all of this, is that this would not be an issue if I were a man. I do not want kids and of this I have been certain since I was a child. I have an IUD in place, the most effective form of birth control, and moreover since breaking up with my ex I have only dated women (I'm bisexual) so I don't foresee an unplanned pregnancy occurring in the near future. My psychiatrist knows all of this but apparently at 25 I am too young to know what I want or have agency over my own body and my mental health is less important than the wants of some hypothetical future baby-wanting husband. I feel truly disgusted, like I've been reduced to a walking womb. I desperately wanted to scream at her but I need to hold out at least for one more appointment because I'm almost out of Ritalin (also have ADHD) and she's the only doctor I can get in to see and prescribe it before I run out. She was deliberately vague about what the 'rules' are surrounding this and if another psychiatrist would be allowed to prescribe it to me or not. My pharmacist certainly had no issues giving it to me after I said I had an IUD. Has anyone else been through this and know what the rules are? Anyone on here a woman in the UK who has successfully been prescribed Depakote? If anyone has a London (ideally zone 1/2) based psych that does will you message me their name (private sector doc is fine)? I'm really at a loss of what to do but I feel like she's not the right psychiatrist for me long term if she's so rigid about these antiquated, sexist standards. ",7.292836375212225,6.959677037351444,7.936145479626488,70.94790242996606,63.85568760611206,11.097644312393891,36.06329584040747,10.618573550423957,3.8400801782682494,2441,104,443,55,32,816,266,589,0.108,0.812,0.08,-0.9387,4,0,2,0,0,0,47.0,3,1,2,9,16,21,3,1,39,0,55,17,2,7,7,94,90,39,0,16,19,2,3,2,0,5,15,3,0,8,29,27,0,4,13,1,0,11,11,10,0,4,19,7,64,11,81,63,19,72,0,1,1,1,36,29,0,14,33,340,93,5,0.07487914189187342,0.0887195388139765,0.0,0.0,0.08999017733146918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749806443350747,0.0,0.0,0.17964246815352708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851730910628298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15707171111269685,0.07672252967582358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515487620252088,0.0,0.18258251957687308,0.0,0.06371663464058773,0.0,0.07858103973958401,0.0,0.0,0.08317384634767322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769215051318795,0.0,0.19350525146252892,0.0,0.0,0.08398332473440635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823276606406032,0.0,0.15328394925449662,0.06552724167121111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17367206408076974,0.0,0.0625519147690335,0.08422895617139321,0.0,0.07737017003063164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11358343202102306,0.05349367392911438,0.0,0.08202643987900711,0.2053145374174176,0.12738431968240035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03912126111589415,0.1436617919280484,0.04255554192765373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621537788281999,0.07971023891588504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1591860526490576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563087398466034,0.0,0.06655602180224454,0.0,0.0,0.16460647250015062,0.061036494627814436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316433287363512,0.0,0.0,0.0662656842651281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.063659568733017,0.0,0.0,0.04998240865889138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3017314310831901,0.07546056326487845,0.07943493649460509,0.0,0.0,0.11953563333881875,0.1591693553063966,0.0,0.055521934922662365,0.0,0.14463748368127616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05074004443335718,0.1138979231842616,0.1593533726899921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07823276606406032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593899137188708,0.0,0.14786823826247647,0.08039217565529899,0.0,0.06394637804297955,0.14245442218025722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0596689814526411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388159990531893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05299984203189625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05629979587850077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049746374653978284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04366262979925944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319348180280935,0.0,0.0,0.07314604126349891,0.0,0.2702111642110661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649939476369801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07604340331124076,0.0,0.1595759820373537,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,DevHoward,2019/02/27,"cycle me out, guys I'm rapid cycling after stability (more or less) for the past year and a half. I know I'm running high and it feels so good that I just don't care. I've ruined my celibacy/sobriety, I can't concentrate on study and I blew off a pdoc appointment that I was really lucky to get because I was hooking up with a coworker. Then the depression comes with the self loathing and I don't care enough to get out of bed and I don't care enough to live, I'm blowing all of the progress I've made during the past year and a half, and I've made a lot. I'm scared guys.",1.7383200000000016,2.9526383920000008,3.4450000000000003,92.6275,77.08,7.240000000000001,23.7,7.908726449838941,0.925959999999999,449,14,108,7,10,150,71,125,0.151,0.748,0.101,-0.7181,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,2,8,0,1,10,0,6,0,0,2,1,21,20,10,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,12,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,3,0,2,4,1,10,5,14,16,6,14,0,2,0,0,3,6,0,3,6,62,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193665314902946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5114802857776926,0.0,0.0,0.1440464855493943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14402760302476675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3455689495257869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455219729494096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17473262760817518,0.0,0.0,0.1402574313190062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33115108232259804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17667865917748546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190054410585803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14765961749290105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14216570989584082,0.0,0.31645798741205666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192636202505542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712635261697348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16741785877868226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744484579469573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21537028215506546 bipolarreddit,kokopuuffs,2019/02/27,"I Am a Colorful Portrait of Bipolar, ADHD, Anxiety, Trichotillomania, Insomnia, and Binge Eating and I Need Advice I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar a month ago. At the age of 13, I was diagnosed with ADHD, Trichotillomania, anxiety, insomnia and a binge eating disorder. I didn't seek medication until I was 18 as my family refused me any meds. In which I was placed on Adderall and Xanax. After 3 years, my body began to digest it differently causing constant need to have my meds adjusted until he suggested Vyvanse. Xanax never needed to be adjusted nor did I experience addictive side effects. My doctor would take me off of Xanax to see if I experienced and adverse effects. With Vyvanse I was able to focus, avoid binge eating all together without any issues maintaining a normal diet. My mood swings were gone, I was even able to sleep normally as once the meds wore off, I was tired and ready for bed by 9:30am Now with my new diagnosis of Bipolar, which came apparent when mania appeared out of nowhere once I stopped taking Vyvanse when waiting for new insurance due to moving out of state, (the meds are expensive as hell at 200 bucks) My doctor now has me on Lamictal(100mg) for depression Seroquel(50mg) for my mania and Insomnia, and Hydroxyzine(50mg) for my anxiety. My mania and depression are gone, although these meds do nothing for my anxiety. I am still dealing with the mood swings I often experienced with adhd. I am quickly irritable or angry over the smallest things. No attention to anything..(like I stopped writing this post 3 times lmao) no motivation, and I am back to binge eating. I have asked my doctor to allow me back on my Vyvanse in which he has told me no until my mood stabilizes. It has and then he has told me my mania may happen with Vyvanse even tho he stated this med carries a small risk due to the way it metabolizes. I have never experienced mania during Vyvanse and I am so worried about my binge eating symptoms in which I have gained 60 pounds since last October, and my lack of attention and along with my impulse issues. I see my psychiatrist again today and I am wondering if I should insist that I am placed back on my adhd meds as a trial run? I have tried most non-stimulants such as Concerta which just led to me being even more exhausted than I normally am atm. Any advise would be appreciated <3 Thank you in advance ",7.039863945578227,7.733754256235829,7.797687074829934,68.24850340136054,64.26077097505669,11.068480725623582,35.6077097505669,10.903163001774269,4.2288131519274375,1901,85,313,50,27,636,213,441,0.123,0.835,0.042,-0.9859,2,1,0,0,0,0,53.0,0,1,0,5,19,11,1,2,12,0,37,28,2,6,3,66,57,33,0,12,5,0,0,0,0,4,20,0,1,0,13,27,7,5,8,0,3,8,8,7,0,0,17,6,56,1,62,33,4,64,1,2,3,0,13,19,1,8,33,228,69,5,0.13128473564209556,0.0,0.0,0.07155987010234285,0.3155574795022973,0.06414496211851245,0.05818799843952242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13391718327305707,0.0,0.2008649268481592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06136675284437738,0.0,0.0,0.15142478697849782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729138726366443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507738146095834,0.0,0.06743279377462318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093607973615508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767439887680167,0.11307535043512927,0.13325124315475198,0.0,0.06858230310719372,0.07523184051096587,0.20156323491038494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3358426495801184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13006849457366018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06421083151182372,0.061881782360554714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058047329076903686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13702715516520586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05350729094427874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5103971084565101,0.06612777965235822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05239511173004125,0.06976744860370432,0.0,0.14601895196365322,0.10125488157441104,0.12679561577010456,0.0,0.0,0.19294674981083249,0.0629856223087456,0.0,0.0,0.1398139587885741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13716460621438745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286724314614606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06481391906902476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461693681472684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054300044991082944,0.0,0.06568977395404339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05242207973559202,0.1097599175381142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06822755417980743,0.09870978261591278,0.0,0.0,0.060434672959366935,0.0,0.0,0.043609872392975285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03827659255839157,0.07544624542789638,0.06222128933374544,0.12544819098976845,0.0,0.04456685887230183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052103856175626066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06327690012613177,0.0711863477859864,0.0,0.06666301087863415,0.0,0.09326090945706313,0.0,0.0,0.04227153270718701 bipolarreddit,lupinthe7th,2019/02/28,"Been a hypomanic mess lately So the majority of the past month I’ve been feeling depressed and out of it. Not really talking to anyone and just hiding in my room and then after a few good news and change of events I started to feel better. I finally felt hopeful and felt like myself again only to realize that it was all a lie. That I wasn’t actually feeling better and just pivoting into a hypomanic state. I went from feeling good and organized to realizing I wasn’t eating or sleeping much, being incredibly impulsive, getting pulled over for speeding at my job, flipping out on friends and telling them off, and over all feeling like my skin is made of electricity if that makes any sense. I just can’t find a balance these days. Now I called out of work mid shift cause I wasn’t eating much and just feeling sick and shakey and now I’m worried that I might loose my job. I can’t seem to find a middle ground. I just wish I could breath for once. I hate not being able to trust my feelings and the days I feel good I only end up finding out that my good feelings weren’t good and just manic. I reached out to my parents and said that I need a therapist again.i wish this would all stop. ",4.7485504201680655,5.606012878151264,5.48183823529412,82.25452205882353,69.37815126050421,8.302941176470588,30.00105042016807,8.472884824447931,2.115419327731093,947,36,189,14,16,308,129,238,0.087,0.7140000000000001,0.199,0.9715,4,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,3,10,15,1,0,10,0,15,6,3,3,3,63,39,19,0,7,10,1,12,2,1,2,1,1,1,0,10,21,2,1,17,0,0,2,8,3,0,0,12,13,26,12,29,22,7,36,0,1,0,0,7,17,0,5,18,126,36,3,0.09796384620270804,0.0,0.09559858243913742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661877474126855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849859903781116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17328212203755114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10003203998759128,0.0,0.0,0.10063585543356883,0.10363275974001217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821615980214686,0.0,0.0,0.12635715290791266,0.0,0.08437611718656242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200482942732772,0.0,0.0,0.08676689052554634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4458011771188923,0.06998539130131665,0.1881213102743515,0.10731460508009412,0.2686115419936848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568662456638475,0.0,0.051182066332271514,0.0,0.0,0.4108371316581474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09671901660745104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973002034879953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19442800257348405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11050748552144887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572037381927324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926957599437097,0.0653916280420402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392415972282824,0.0,0.0,0.07819380740939176,0.0,0.14402939764720418,0.07263895066392001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10432829901181503,0.0,0.1490118389142733,0.0,0.0,0.108777257968533,0.0,0.09351757604073532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627581483851012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931860512338278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918260631819452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09803459452084473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933931455942602,0.0,0.0,0.08190216195612325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873962877319571,0.08562471951247344,0.0,0.0,0.11374357600413047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081346688768724,0.0,0.0,0.2253071769397613,0.0,0.0,0.0713188467793486,0.0994870410971066,0.0,0.06959070562234466,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,bipolarbpdthrowaway,2019/02/28,"I really just can't commit During a manic period I committed to a volunteer position that I didn't realize was actually a 2 year commitment and I have now (as of last week) committed to another year in this position because I can't say no. We have a big event tomorrow and I just don't want to go. I am one of 2 social media coordinators (and the better of the 2) so I'm supposed to be snapping pictures, tweeting, putting stuff on Instagram and Facebook during the event all day. I'm at a hotel and the bed is just so comfy, I don't see myself getting out of it at 5am. I've struggled to get to my paid job for the last 2 weeks (well, really the last 3 months but it's been especially difficult the last 2 weeks leading up to this event). Being around a bunch of professional people trying to network while helping... its giving me anxiety and I tried ALL DAY talking myself into it. The topics the lecturers are talking about don't even interest me, so that doesn't help. Usually at these events there's something I want to listen to, but it's just going to be 8 hours of blah. I don't want to let anyone down, but doing *anything* is just so difficult right now. I even thought about telling the head of the board I'm on that I have lice, thinking that's embarrassing enough that she won't ask questions and I'll get to avoid going. I just need some motivation or a good excuse to get out of going. ",3.2677272727272744,4.6408575209790275,5.323356643356647,80.05118881118884,73.44055944055944,8.696503496503496,27.685314685314694,9.218907990703514,2.3793342657342658,1105,42,220,25,22,384,152,286,0.115,0.812,0.07400000000000001,-0.8747,1,1,1,0,0,0,30.0,1,0,0,3,19,9,0,3,18,0,23,1,1,2,6,40,45,17,0,4,10,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,14,12,0,1,5,1,1,6,10,5,1,1,5,3,21,4,38,35,5,43,0,0,1,0,14,14,0,3,23,149,35,5,0.0,0.0,0.11693740545751127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565285986204308,0.09167010110071944,0.0,0.0,0.08378836008426789,0.0,0.0986103951837848,0.1066746629425921,0.11202545961086467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304763754255984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598045099750067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456168119915745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381706967570368,0.0,0.15829399699496058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250426225583856,0.11495245579691275,0.2724100256136204,0.10050824398425713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298079368285075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16063988572644305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800902882803585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891340639754935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3907118159415071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122534934127737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564766263265416,0.0,0.0,0.08885289100602288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120033359712132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830754681681532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046287683586306,0.1342377259422547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353313524587972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102334700085599,0.0,0.09529412365388493,0.0,0.0,0.0954894946085156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215223284902185,0.0,0.09225147049234304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12527298858896016,0.13717739784554053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19263063657428406,0.10473724910293897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767826267610227,0.0,0.09513213204236527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627142586880282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197650528586913,0.0,0.21203762422402345,0.0,0.28836270094985195,0.0,0.107742124090551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15433398902455386 bipolarreddit,emmireese,2019/02/28,"Pm is open I love talking to people on here and man I’ve been on a down lately... coming back up! Got higher dosages and I feel so good.. I did before.. not like I ever didn’t. Anyway, I want a good conversation not talking about our hardships, but what is happy with our lives. A happy convo with some stranger ",0.3755952380952401,2.748182492063492,2.278075396825397,92.75616071428574,89.15873015873017,3.784920634920635,17.398809523809526,5.148860815047168,-0.5592523809523806,239,6,49,1,8,79,46,63,0.024,0.727,0.249,0.9386,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,2,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,0,1,13,10,4,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,1,7,6,8,6,1,9,0,0,0,1,7,5,0,1,4,35,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18310200504255555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026252633320996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051220101569456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21539602334416252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204022202011847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3994528036123303,0.1904488372225851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5069730453186031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686132868122921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633494376046476,0.0,0.21026710539746946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149154411819956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650846107527931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3827887384704384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14045120431588767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,delic8flower,2019/02/28,"Lithium Poisoning???? Has anyone experience lithium poisoning on any scale? I've been taking lithium for 5 years and it works so.damn.well. I take an amount that has me dangerously close to toxic levels. I fully expect to suffer the consequences later in life but I'm wondering if anyone experiences side effects of toxicity. How long have you been taking lithium, how old are you, etc.?",4.620335820895524,7.959426164179107,5.992667910447763,67.01497201492539,78.40298507462686,8.126119402985074,29.270522388059703,8.841846274778883,3.4472402985074626,311,14,43,8,8,104,53,67,0.116,0.884,0.0,-0.7745,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,2,2,4,3,0,2,0,6,3,0,3,0,9,11,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,5,0,6,9,2,9,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,2,4,27,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645404657438473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3383668172299946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698483237042815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.47336480044741897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17090284777380535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21412616426141406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538953436328066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5457693287492971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26239429174880763,0.17614908576393684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15581370910030595 bipolarreddit,AccomplishedToday,2019/02/28,"Lyrics that hit home Was listening to music and these lyrics stood out to me. I figured others here could relate ;) > When we last met who was I? > I'm sorry we no longer see eye to eye > The energy to keep you in while keeping myself out > I'm sorry how you'll take this > But I just don't have the patience anymore ",1.2920476190476191,2.7466091571428564,3.120000000000001,93.47333333333334,78.85714285714286,5.80952380952381,18.80952380952381,6.42735559955562,-0.15447619047619066,251,5,58,2,6,84,50,70,0.07,0.872,0.058,0.0516,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,6,2,2,1,0,12,16,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,5,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,4,9,0,7,9,0,6,0,0,3,0,7,3,0,0,3,36,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786761166824039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22435533181949674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28186553066693903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4995307477004947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290521952246637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239203163924648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6291121387368548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21127674377936065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,9aagb98,2019/02/28,"Mania and marriage Has anyone ever gotten married while manic? If so, what's your story? ",3.470625000000002,6.592624812500002,5.230000000000004,71.81500000000003,82.125,3.2,20.5,3.1291,0.44885,71,2,8,0,2,24,16,16,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,8,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6115828683441553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7911803809169787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,rileydunliving,2019/02/28,"Just got diagnosed, need advice. Hey, all. I just got diagnosed with Bipolar II, and I’m not sure what to think. I always thought I was just depressed, but after going on antidepressants I began to rapidly shift from what I now know as hypomania to depression. The thing is, these shifts happen so quickly. I’ll be on top of the world for an hour and suddenly feel like I want to crawl in a hole an die the next minute. I’m on mood stabilizers as of yesterday, but is there anything else I can do? Thanks in advance. ",2.3252941176470614,4.587303882352941,3.774274509803924,86.17023529411766,78.80392156862743,7.217254901960787,24.90588235294117,8.238735603445708,1.6266164705882349,404,15,82,8,10,133,73,102,0.13,0.77,0.1,-0.6464,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,7,6,0,0,6,0,6,3,0,0,2,17,20,7,1,2,6,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,5,1,7,3,17,14,1,17,0,2,0,0,1,7,0,0,9,53,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20658615405305075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759089903172725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397136305101746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3641720408445389,0.4291508005767998,0.2194088738257564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766048578620969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068946007575155,0.15103043153284074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014844727180707,0.0,0.3381657312568557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869480325655768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20819500377497854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618470348353585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328362173590998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15675688684272845,0.0,0.0,0.22483557168784088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19925021631563214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19463674536221007,0.0,0.0,0.14045055946504326,0.13546217121792034,0.0,0.16783490878942486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12469434023868045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Big_Rig_Jig,2019/02/28,"Doing well, but life is definitely testing me right now. I had a what I'm assuming was a panic attack the other night cause I've only ever felt this sensation when I think really hard about some kind of medical condition I probably don't have. My vision went blurry, and my ears were hissing. I remember fumbling with my breathing while wondering wtf was happening. I started taking deep breaths after figuring I might be having a panic attack. I ignored all my emotionally rooted thoughts and calmed myself down. Fuck. That. Shit. I feel for anyone who goes through anything like that regularly. That is down right terrifying to the ""piss your pants"" core. So, I've been stable for about 6 months now doing what I'm doing and actually being successful (how I perceive it anyways). I'm holding a job, I'm loved by my peers and getting along with my parents better than ever. I've matured a lot I guess, but being disciplined with my diet, meds, and sleep, have made it all stay together. Just a couple weeks back my Mom got diagnosed with breast cancer... And I'm pretty sure the restaurant I'm working at is going to close soon because I've never seen a shit show like this EVER! Everyone is drunk and indifferent... It's sad. Aaaaaaand now my ex wants to talk on the phone today (only have let her text me recently since making amends and healing our friendship). She's been sporadically contacting me telling me this or that reminded her of me... I really feel like she eventually (prolly not today) wants to try and rekindle things. She's expressed since finalizing our divorce how she feels she messed up and turned her back on me when I was simply severely depressed. I get that now and I understand why she did what she did, and he don't blame her for it one bit. But I can't trust her anymore like that. She'll prolly drop me when I hit another dip in my journey. I'm overloaded right now. But I'm staying disciplined and trying to do everything how I need to, to stay stable. It's working I guess, but man, this is the shitty part of life that usually puts me down for a year. I'm afraid, but I'm excited to challenge my will through these tough times. Oh yeah, I forgot in my rambling, my parents (whom I'm living with currently) are selling their house and moving to a different city. Overall a good thing for all of us, but keeping the house clean and sprucing it up for random showings today with a few hours notice is stressful. Stay positive peeps and keep on chugging along. Sometimes it's awesome cause sometimes it sucks.",4.547202044367116,6.35535948140496,5.443897346672468,78.71826228795132,70.92148760330578,8.48316659417138,29.67899086559373,9.063066167217693,2.6589181818181817,2015,82,360,41,38,659,261,484,0.161,0.6920000000000001,0.147,-0.8662,6,0,0,0,1,0,65.0,3,1,1,5,23,31,7,4,17,1,34,18,8,8,8,79,77,32,0,3,10,4,5,4,0,3,6,1,1,1,28,25,2,7,12,3,1,5,5,16,1,1,16,7,59,15,45,53,8,57,0,2,1,3,33,16,5,9,35,238,87,6,0.0,0.0,0.07486845638084297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044847259013027,0.0,0.0,0.07608644116447544,0.053644983464856175,0.0,0.06313470049750157,0.0,0.0,0.17456202445057414,0.0,0.11798715477192835,0.0,0.0467683017566684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0678533335136416,0.0837592684707144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15762683840367092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08489013167347917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066079532645673,0.07787002063878128,0.0,0.08015693110210023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630059981649812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20819513094074826,0.0,0.07331003441465962,0.06895172895045551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637706031503572,0.054809371459819414,0.07366402175235744,0.0840439117868881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07092716483236282,0.08016692722653421,0.0,0.04360221188541775,0.06434978654785202,0.061360650934140414,0.0,0.1690332727854002,0.0,0.06784397062615206,0.0,0.06872678812715108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07555455666893224,0.17705105859271886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613357885905203,0.13638598562816842,0.0,0.07989293129720103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784522397686109,0.10838037273248212,0.14992767568721496,0.0,0.06774589252097668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06522530036511176,0.06924353836465083,0.07259509799167832,0.05121174526677394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521953915994637,0.07728815798507288,0.0,0.08138866937778964,0.0,0.08985450094024151,0.06123782915933064,0.08154209347789977,0.0,0.0568875183143455,0.059171828579638736,0.0,0.0,0.07199729540964875,0.0,0.0,0.08734716577307321,0.0,0.0,0.0519880153851616,0.11669928650966227,0.0,0.18003071131967,0.17037878984512475,0.0830811751908214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805265887976008,0.08271802359280858,0.0,0.0,0.07712561780048763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982986478466618,0.0,0.07575255729094893,0.0,0.08690973691233304,0.1965574915818311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667269255913014,0.1575056451179026,0.12692851560812146,0.0,0.07677623011167857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15175771188255435,0.0,0.05430339357672986,0.327096758219426,0.0,0.0,0.08788344382103122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723084679601024,0.0,0.05768451106023791,0.06166529159575016,0.06705738112824858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019398118290501,0.049159605687958435,0.0,0.06090776386190911,0.04473652900997915,0.0,0.21816710913368548,0.0,0.0,0.1041768058001952,0.08345022475773142,0.0,0.07986908270909393,0.09228570398473514,0.0,0.08449714777433949,0.0,0.09050385864245956,0.0,0.061540816682963,0.0,0.06898123390281402,0.07112097178640221,0.0692286098230328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320046012413565,0.11170734613415596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04940569478243075 bipolarreddit,asphodelusrasmus,2019/02/28,"The ""Calm"" I have Bipolar 2. After a month of isolation and depression, I went out with my friends last night and had a great time. I went home tired and slept the whole day. I woke up exhausted but the racing thoughts and irritability are gone. My mind is blank and surprisingly calm. I'm actually panicking a bit because, at this point, I don't know what's happening. There are no more excessive intrusive thoughts, or those crazy ideas - just really calm. I feel alright but I still think of suicide. I think what scares me a bit is that I experience this before a big mood swing. Am I okay? ",3.0049760765550246,5.379463421052632,3.978133971291868,85.00011961722487,77.0701754385965,8.355980861244019,26.15311004784689,9.095868883498916,2.2175368421052646,466,18,95,12,11,150,81,114,0.236,0.619,0.145,-0.911,0,1,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,0,3,12,0,1,8,2,8,4,1,0,0,19,21,8,1,0,4,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,1,0,6,7,0,0,7,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,8,1,13,8,7,13,4,15,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,1,7,56,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.1719361825745431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740388754152813,0.0,0.14992485101688002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38470804854942503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362807877305985,0.0,0.151752328532234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17234778687686422,0.0,0.0,0.0890870399323229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361240822601286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19425027583569868,0.0,0.0,0.15580437855995075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17673309835823356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19889724718793644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682950537644562,0.14361849798386134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17790183765656653,0.0,0.14063330651894496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653425317794338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16655665297593478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128719295147572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17639708898840012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407056911301348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19272344063055688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22579108338662404,0.0,0.2797506163155772,0.10273790046483812,0.20250467283346604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266600910734069,0.0,0.19671002398720452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,microdelic,2019/02/28,"Bipolar 1 doesn’t seem to cover it anymore. Schizoaffective, anybody? I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 & C-PTSD (repetitive childhood trauma and abuse) , 4 years ago. Mainly after a severe 6mo. Long manic episode in which I was convinced I was indestructible and a direct channel of god, resulting in multiple unintended near death experiences related to drugs, alcohol and physical safety. Long story short, “bipolar” in itself has been one hell of a show. Since my first severe episode I have experienced a multitude of smaller shorter lived episodes 2 out of 4 which would probably even fall in the hypomanic category. The depression always lasts much longer (usually 2/3X times longer than the initial mania) but it never comes with out visual & auditory hallucinations, explosive anger, psychosis and catatonic moments lasting no less than 3 hours at a time. I’m 21 years old. The lines are starting to get blurry. I don’t know where the episodes end and begin. I am scared as fuck and have had a handful of clarity moments that reveal the way my brain seems to be slipping through my fingers. I tried to tapper off my lithium (my doc is on board) thinking that much of this time spent somewhere else / staring at a wall only to snap back a few hours later confused as to where the time went - was just because of my high dose of 1250mg lithium carbonate. I’ve tapered down to 300mg at night and 300mg in the morning and my partner has started to point out that I seem to exhibit ALL symptoms of bipolar each day, simultaneously and more consistently. Redditors, I’m usually better spoken but my brains in shambles and I’m eager for you to make me think deeper on this and reflect before I word barf it to my psych. Anyway. I’m not to familiar with schizo effective but am starting to feel that could possibly be more fitting. I don’t want more meds in my life. I’m also an avid micro dosed, lsd, dmt & earth medicine user for some background and am very on board with alternative medicine to get me back to “reality”. At least one I can be comfortable in.",6.508825065274153,7.583510096605745,6.86782872062663,73.11026527415144,65.52741514360315,9.783352480417756,35.94663185378589,9.888512548439397,3.7309165326370763,1649,79,281,35,25,535,231,383,0.08800000000000001,0.833,0.079,-0.5579999999999999,0,0,2,0,1,0,47.0,0,1,0,3,8,11,3,2,17,0,24,16,4,3,2,46,48,18,1,3,5,0,3,0,1,1,11,0,0,1,12,21,1,0,10,2,1,3,6,7,0,3,8,5,24,4,58,35,12,65,1,1,1,1,2,28,2,5,33,176,36,1,0.0,0.1191024981380172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910696138732854,0.10742777708610286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038765385389061,0.0836426134129862,0.3267476380466681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969111896149854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15459090085276353,0.0,0.061277466296165074,0.0,0.08553708078389845,0.0,0.0,0.08890381308044341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2244322821979271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08659106798836545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025888382661023,0.0,0.0,0.0648285730311387,0.0,0.08657971708336018,0.10202802723094888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657396423225595,0.0,0.0839734900778651,0.0,0.08903292880015429,0.0,0.0,0.06639403676876279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833010651017844,0.0,0.0,0.05082709957558355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550422432648838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092931254487511,0.1050375146557601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062073380727144,0.0,0.0,0.1979884505488616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055244431910207004,0.16387819605336235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100187934805162,0.0,0.0,0.08876304013039904,0.17791815968183367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670994215458141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165762370030373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477909261030522,0.0,0.07752900138081828,0.0,0.0,0.09433337703460097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548125318255633,0.0,0.13623303566349926,0.0764517453839632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502607328983924,0.11332379916979103,0.0,0.0,0.10838005042744564,0.0,0.11750519942342287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064036714731496,0.0,0.0,0.2745352031326585,0.0,0.2271231923161589,0.0,0.08315309242643099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21345062219568364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10448116791937316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12882127285056366,0.0,0.0,0.2344614660484684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824804906833487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22142224243264946,0.08294143212647978,0.059290662043821774,0.0797899296226512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318518714377676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140816388945609,0.0,0.0,0.12946614194462824 bipolarreddit,merrozz,2019/02/28,"Is anyone else’s mania a nightmare? Just got diagnosed yesterday, and I’m struggling a bit with mania. For me, mania feels like I have so much energy that my body is going to explode. My thoughts are constantly racing, I’m full of rage, and I try to do everything but accomplish nothing. I can’t stop talking or obsessing and the anxiety is out of this world. Mania has never been fun or exciting for me. I don’t spend money or party or have a lot of sex. I don’t feel like a god or that I’m on top of the world. It feels like I’m in a tornado and have no control over my life. Does anyone else feel this way?",1.2880232558139542,3.0975050310077528,3.7869961240310097,87.05863372093027,80.08527131782947,7.40077519379845,23.1531007751938,8.344100000000001,1.4455007751937985,475,16,102,10,12,166,78,129,0.112,0.68,0.208,0.9236,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,2,8,1,2,7,0,13,4,1,1,1,22,24,11,0,0,7,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,6,0,2,5,0,2,1,5,3,0,0,3,4,10,5,13,21,4,14,0,0,0,1,1,8,0,6,7,65,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271147954549225,0.0,0.0,0.2323710812081021,0.3405087468805965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18140775258594616,0.1845704404739537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17956395688435356,0.1863667477142003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686526840052531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14541099623724438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27761694254585123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14933724248309171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3360694897773808,0.3561221968163639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443467463753508,0.0,0.13289631089680656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736635360360766,0.2435376095693977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412664576352561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214945753327765,0.0,0.1281557090339947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594385764007376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892031511856154,0.0,0.1737104042572888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335561086574358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131915437646016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281426256966197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189303128433358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Hungjury21,2019/02/28,"You guys have any songs that have helped you through hard times? For me it's been ""numb"" and ""somewhere I belong"" by linkin park. There are definitely a bunch of others, but those are the two that stand out. Hbu? ",2.535,4.832036097560977,1.9343292682926825,99.45076219512195,78.26829268292683,5.0756097560975615,17.567073170731707,5.985473137389443,-0.6912000000000003,164,3,37,1,4,47,37,41,0.03,0.913,0.056,0.2523,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,5,1,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,5,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,4,0,5,4,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,26,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.340491784782377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4957697033958397,0.0,0.0,0.4485270281110732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33560729061245503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29196100896971355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4891091559902711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Emeraldwolff,2019/03/01,"I'm back here. I keep thinking I'm not bipolar and then going well I can see it. And I wish there was more info on irritable/dysphoric hypomania. Although I did have tactile hallucinations at some point but I'm nots ure what was going on at that time. I've noticed a pattern for years but idk. Didn't think that could be it since itit's supposed to be uncommon at least compared to other disorders and I dont know of any family history, though I've wondered about my bio grandfather. He was abusive, angry, and I guess he did drugs. I think my grandma said he used to be really smart and charming but he was lazy. Idk. Anyway no one talks to him and he won't help anyway. &#x200B; I don't feel like typing out a history right now so maybe I'll edit later but for now theres my post history. &#x200B; I sometimes wonder but then chalk it up to stress and insomnia and midterms and some sort of atypical depression/mood disorder but nah not bipolar. And now here I am thinking fuc. I was probably right ten years ago. I'd stopped thinking it was a possibility and then found out in 2016 that I had a cyclothymia diagnosis. I think at that time I had never been fully honest about how bad my depression could be because I was scared to tell her. Even after several years I guess. But it's not like shes a therapist. Anyway I seem to get angrier, less patient, sleep less though my energy isn't necessarily up, spend more money (used to be on food and stuff but it wasnt bad until last year and maybe this year) sometimes talk more. Maybe even lower tolerance for boredom than usual. &#x200B; I guess I've been angier lately. I got in a fight with my parents Tuesday night and ended up tearing my curtain rod from the wall somehow. I think I probably grabbed the curtain. I also punched the wall a bit but no damage. My friend had to pick me up from my house. I'm back home now but. Theres so much context really.",2.756174270755423,4.869193039267022,4.235157816005987,84.13815183246075,76.72251308900523,7.402363500373973,26.35931189229619,8.329178653251315,1.8711251159311888,1519,59,298,29,35,504,198,382,0.203,0.741,0.055,-0.996,3,0,1,0,1,0,49.0,0,0,0,0,26,14,1,2,10,0,31,6,1,4,1,62,61,35,0,3,14,1,2,2,1,1,4,1,3,0,14,17,1,2,14,0,2,2,13,7,1,2,19,4,35,7,37,34,10,51,0,2,1,0,16,20,0,10,30,196,49,4,0.0,0.08902300977403188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660288422603937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06008564897147281,0.0,0.2442271037989718,0.27389273422755595,0.05109456069182917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554877095562048,0.12546962555310534,0.0458017637437796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202825592871718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11997879995883283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06471389870608135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722230596699949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805797788479962,0.0,0.08713306034286455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665475486635227,0.0,0.0,0.09925227558793506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07083084651115246,0.0,0.03799065051565504,0.05367665252437282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085386778067986,0.08238194638315124,0.058049323895343626,0.0,0.03925507793717306,0.0,0.08540221186018902,0.0,0.06009253985471703,0.0,0.24830991507568034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050361588282602114,0.0,0.0753668028410995,0.0,0.0,0.08669601473281567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06678368100904165,0.0,0.0,0.04129237991468608,0.06124527393247198,0.0847558582067309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734145962387945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264504353760413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055233069266687466,0.0,0.05794895283974282,0.0,0.0,0.07050936191142873,0.0,0.0,0.08554200388207645,0.0,0.0,0.050913604059605135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342882664458524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07102711684070863,0.08470372862735559,0.0719588201890967,0.0,0.16201705991644255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962671569395578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283302215867088,0.07147084840407937,0.0,0.07522351359780413,0.0,0.05987308308942855,0.06840032871931094,0.0,0.0848814696818556,0.0,0.062152672492570275,0.0,0.07518953266700057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14862140819449918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06281645078450862,0.08606719892938315,0.0,0.08601190919346642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078176930840195,0.06567153846407738,0.0,0.0,0.08723784053399214,0.0,0.3370055342228321,0.1476400443001341,0.0,0.08762396133572035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12978550025783864,0.08275088583544117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755563189806436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08640185346520618,0.0,0.16296199241128392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27389273422755595,0.24192325517780103 bipolarreddit,RemiReed,2019/03/01,"Anyone been on venlablue XL? I’m having really bad tremors, I can’t stop shaking.",1.7043749999999989,4.387680687500001,3.7550000000000026,82.39000000000001,85.875,5.7,26.75,7.1686216300943375,1.855725,65,3,11,1,2,22,15,16,0.435,0.565,0.0,-0.7713,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4615118400871099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5511016810039688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4228353418685256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5518188401286576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ktmaverick97,2019/03/01,feeling guilty starting to come down off a short manic/hypomanic episode (can never tell the difference) and feeling guilty about the weird shit I did all week. I also tend to feel guilty when I think about how other people have it so much worse why complain. i’ve never had a psychotic break or loss of reality (at least I don’t think I have) so I tend to start to feel resentment toward myself like why feel sorry for myself other ppl have it way worse I gotta stop complaining. anyone else ever feel like this?,4.0839,5.880804190000003,4.743000000000002,83.32150000000003,72.1,7.4,23.5,8.07648339933343,1.2847999999999995,409,11,77,6,8,131,69,100,0.3,0.628,0.07200000000000001,-0.9734,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,8,8,2,0,4,0,7,1,1,1,4,17,21,7,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,8,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,2,6,9,2,12,18,3,16,0,1,0,0,3,5,1,1,10,50,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13384638645910932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702957081070825,0.17149118684454812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14417514374711213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748668866778157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13981684582698067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513964913099279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5077663013840974,0.11956974919284832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16353785950755784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303681263227595,0.0,0.25817339312991017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11603385452155522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17180374433787968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18735793318303276,0.23693185954705395,0.0,0.0,0.13992950216256722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462894762241877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21448893012165468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13285116860394147,0.1342547783329239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020522692758084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411303344805037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,lowkeyted,2019/03/01,"I feel my mood escalating and I don’t know what to do. Have you ever seen mania coming and successfully avoided or minimized it without hospitalization? I’ve probably been hypomanic for a few weeks now. I was trying to ride it out because my work, my relationship, and my friendships are all in good shape. I didn’t see anything to worry about. Until last night. I made bad choices and I’m afraid of more to come. I haven’t hit mania yet, but I see it approaching on the horizon. Has anybody had success nipping a manic episode in the bud? Do I just admit myself and ride it out under supervision? I really don’t think I can afford that. ",2.8067333333333337,5.1134151600000015,4.898100000000003,78.49888333333334,77.4,7.366666666666666,26.416666666666664,8.344100000000001,2.0569866666666656,505,20,93,10,12,174,87,125,0.05,0.835,0.115,0.8290000000000001,1,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,3,5,7,0,2,4,0,13,0,0,1,2,21,25,8,0,0,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,9,0,1,4,0,0,5,5,3,0,0,6,4,16,3,15,18,3,19,0,0,3,0,4,7,0,1,7,68,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912980719559268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19409773724959856,0.14170790206025755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.400494319477316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21027700469914554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754078756866805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19497978133065932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12775613973119052,0.18948919366134856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21996306579151664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21815172463599694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25063551905081644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489223965645102,0.0,0.0,0.24957934813416024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3704874354597184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14895355029984197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578278025797635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864686057790016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240870089045772,0.0,0.16923656697811554,0.2360784849224507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,constantpsychosis,2019/03/01,If lithium doesn't work then what? I'm scared nothing will work. :( If nothing works I'm left living in a hospital at some near future. I'm worried. ,-0.218,2.0034065333333366,1.696666666666669,93.585,100.33333333333334,3.733333333333334,22.66666666666667,5.6839178017228535,0.4278666666666671,116,5,23,1,5,38,23,30,0.16699999999999998,0.754,0.079,-0.4007,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,5,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,3,2,11,1,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079669787337471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502896936039989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5439518200084777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837808013390559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6190603532585358,0.287855106971318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ADHDvm,2019/03/01,"To be bipolar & legally recognized as disabled or not: pros & cons? I am pretty stable on meds right now and could probably pass as not having a disability. The exception is if I need to take time off in the future for breakout episodes that would put me over my vacation/sick day allowance. In that case I assume I need to use ADA accommodations. I was talking with my pdoc the other day and I asked about the national parks access pass for people with disabilities and she said something along the lines of I need to decide if I want to be considered legally disabled because that could bite me in the butt one day. I know on my job licensing application it asks if I have any conditions that affect my ability to practice veterinary medicine. I said no because I don't think that this disorder will affect my medical judgement. Anyway, I will take time off before it gets to that point. But at the same time I might need to take more time off than I have available in my contract if I have breakout episodes. But there is already an example of this potential problem. Does anyone know the pros and cons of legally having a disability in the context of bipolar disorder?",6.5054633204633205,7.309455337837839,6.752844272844275,74.89135135135137,65.44144144144144,9.946460746460748,35.676962676962674,9.957137785484203,3.645053024453025,943,44,166,20,14,304,124,222,0.052000000000000005,0.885,0.063,-0.3204,1,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,12,0,18,4,1,4,0,37,35,13,0,13,10,0,0,0,0,4,3,2,0,0,11,7,0,0,5,0,0,3,4,1,0,1,3,2,25,0,34,24,2,27,0,0,0,1,6,15,1,7,9,120,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837075281893899,0.0,0.0,0.2717195731781113,0.0,0.08526935794768273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08767545760116896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23444505715318306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15287290601670986,0.0,0.10669747708252568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20022709073725647,0.0,0.0,0.2425981266332215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874151284012181,0.0,0.10972945143655627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06551099073104022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244300199972103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13782190024857702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392797911346894,0.12631702315524002,0.0,0.1330187534855471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3718997660441161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496736776248115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869294933060966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853388243047933,0.0,0.0,0.12756649629231565,0.13519140284785294,0.11998109610368272,0.0,0.12605137324463048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070821967330508,0.2385488111796833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653118740672847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28283255453062023,0.10078356464232734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034471530797292,0.0,0.0,0.2924631828813936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10829652049121596,0.0,0.0,0.07395814770217515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907331019805739,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,NonbiasedWolf,2019/03/01,"Should I tell him? Hi everyone! I'm currently doing my honours in Zoology which entails a research project. I have two supervisors: One of the professors at my uni and a postdoc whose research I will be elaborating on. It's a lot of work so far (writing up, going through literature, making proposals, etc.). I started this year off on a really bad foot and I've just been in a really low place for the whole of it. I'm type 2, so I'm either down or I'm REALLY down. Anyway, it's definitely affecting my productivity at this point. I'm also scared that it's affecting my relationship with my supervisors because I can't get myself to talk to them when I'm in my down cycle (or, if I do, I always say the wrong thing or come off as defensive). I'm going to have to work with them through the whole year and i'm scared this keeps going on. I don't like to tell people that I'm bipolar but I wonder whether it will make things easier if I told my professor. He's an amazing guy and would understand. But I feel like giving this info would mess around with his perception of me or something. What would you guys do?",2.752987890079183,4.476679650442482,4.973726129483001,80.58927573358173,75.50442477876106,8.65170004657662,26.49650675360969,9.276330184999452,2.315791150442477,875,33,178,22,19,305,126,226,0.084,0.841,0.07400000000000001,0.4747,1,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,2,3,7,11,1,2,10,0,15,2,1,4,0,37,38,18,0,6,11,0,1,2,0,6,1,1,0,2,16,9,0,2,5,0,0,4,2,7,0,2,2,2,25,4,31,29,5,28,0,1,0,0,18,19,0,8,7,123,41,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061721162106176,0.11047110900368108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818899077623403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085322280076923,0.08093230690018158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436528487287445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14806806102512396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686263946422074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671299691442147,0.0948473368793999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936422869595958,0.12736027809338618,0.22636021373178605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26291643091006234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180076251557374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297245378363398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287204855697107,0.0,0.0,0.17724332631913475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996499462765585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204252884624672,0.0,0.13871115914973126,0.0,0.12550583096634535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551579607313166,0.0,0.0,0.1425399155973109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10558005050945823,0.2658418362517443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220897722434012,0.0,0.0,0.09397174474154622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671147159635416,0.2320849098874984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764063227957405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686263946422074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969210576762538,0.13821303897840842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964547447226976,0.0,0.0,0.14397797055016573,0.193308990935196,0.0,0.0,0.2829373235088347,0.14515767705677785,0.0,0.17099260407411573 bipolarreddit,Thrwaway891011,2019/03/02,"Took Lamictal 8 hours apart I take 300 mg of Lamictal every evening. I forgot to take my Lamictal last night and took it this morning around 11 am. I forgot that I had taken it so late this morning and took it around 8 tonight. So that’s 600 mg in about 9 hours. Any danger with that? I’m just feeling restless and maybe some heavy chest, but not much else at this time. I’m 34 years old. I’m not too worried. Just curious. I don’t think it’s time to call poison control. Just wondering if anyone has had experience. Thanks ",0.7770668583752709,3.18970180373832,2.2872897196261697,93.32375988497485,87.03738317757009,5.5352983465133,21.31488138030194,7.010146845296331,0.5938948957584467,411,14,88,6,13,133,70,107,0.081,0.82,0.099,0.222,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,10,4,2,1,0,0,5,2,1,1,0,20,20,7,0,1,7,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,10,6,0,3,3,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,8,1,6,1,9,12,2,18,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,3,10,46,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114210249584344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142782698218254,0.0,0.0,0.29098542811066963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668864563232806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18330740099303588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365298285071576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794795411661136,0.0,0.13770190128371065,0.0,0.0,0.15987179485426614,0.0,0.0,0.08263816571320326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3219031288894734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332221751321828,0.1843629566902619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641934559374546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12014428468468814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533736394318333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17149861693709206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457671041617726,0.0,0.0,0.1504699348997756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472320653847214,0.0,0.0,0.19060172276662374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5447503171752898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17723939905014358,0.0,0.1659772183076969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052474426202437 bipolarreddit,scurius,2019/03/02,"Small Victory Saturday 3.2.2019 Back by unpopular demand /s! &#x200B; This thread is dedicated to celebrating the little victories that other people might not appreciate and to remind ourselves that we truly are deserving of great love. Whether you made your bed or made a friend, this is the place to share! &#x200B; I've missed you folks.",8.801551724137934,10.848311741379316,7.765000000000002,65.21750000000002,60.89655172413793,11.317241379310346,36.91379310344829,11.20814326018867,4.8138827586206885,283,13,41,8,4,87,49,58,0.079,0.607,0.315,0.9634,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,3,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,0,4,1,0,2,0,8,8,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,4,4,5,5,0,5,0,1,0,1,7,3,0,2,2,26,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4169653469281456,0.4676130420082066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14795603954021694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14866013702285172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121393374559411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928513980129033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736629672948485,0.3641373744335148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041229862329204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13339703839040318,0.0,0.20103378355872453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4676130420082066,0.0 bipolarreddit,russkispaceship,2019/03/03,"DEPRESSION HAS A PURPOSE: HOW TO USE IT RIGHT This text discusses personal experiences with depression and suicidal tendencies. It is an amended and an updated version. I edited it for mistakes and added a couple of paragraphs alongside with real-life illustrations. If you have already read the first version, just look for the new paragraphs. Thank you for reading. I think I know now why I need depressive phases. By saying that, I don't mean the physical side of depression. This implies fatigue, general exhaustion, increased or decreased need for sleep, the same applies to appetite, drop in libido, decrease in hygiene and general activities. The body needs to recover. It takes time. What I am talking about is the emotional, intellectual, — if you want — spiritual side of depression. I think I found a purpose of depression on the other side of the coin. It appears that I grow during these times, because I reflect a lot on the recent events, critically evaluate my actions and decisions, as well as my reasoning behind them. Most importantly, I try to understand my mistakes and to learn lessons from them so that I will never repeat them again. In all fairness, it is a painful and self-destructive process. Most of the time, it is counterproductive and worsens the state of an affected person with ever increasing speed. It is a vicious circle of being paralyzed, feeling ashamed of it and guilty for own disengagement, inability to find enough energy to at least do things that you generally like (normally, it’s worse: you completely lost interest in the things you like), being paralyzed from shame and guilt, hating yourself for this lameness, becoming ever more disgusted by your own bad smell and a total disaster on the floor and in the kitchen, feeling dizzy and weak at all times, having a hurting back and ass cheeks from spending days in bed, losing all respect for yourself and hope for improvement, wanting to give up and to end the pain. You are a burden. You are a disgrace. You are worthless. You have no purpose. Your existence does not make any sense. You are a waste of resources. You are a disappointment. Your parents must be ashamed of you. They should regret bringing you to the world. You will never produce anything meaningful. You will never change anything. You mean nothing. You are a lab rat in the obstacle race in an endless labyrinth. You were born a slave to the indifferent capitalist feudalistic world system. You will never find your place in the society. All spots are occupied. Even the untouchable ones. But you are nothing special. You don’t even have the guts to slip down the social ladder and join the untouchables in protest against the system. “Fuck the system” remains just a graffiti on the platform of a subway station. You are a fucking joke. This is an approximation of the thinking patterns typical of a depressive episode. They dance in circles in your head, every day. They hold hands and take turns in solo parts. They exhaust you. You wake up with them and you go to sleep with them. You cry when you fall asleep. You cry when you wake up. Day after day. Slowly you develop a real anxiety for answering phone calls. They terrify you. People want something from you. We don’t want that. Opening the mail box becomes a real nightmare. You spend days pursuaiding yourself to open your mail account or to open your post box. You stop answering text messages. You are tired of lying that you are doing fine. You are not fine. During the depression, I take a pause of silence. I cut my connections to the outer world and go inside myself. I need that time free of background noises and external advice to keep hearing my thoughts. This is the time when I re-evaluate my knowledge and values. Regarding this, three semi-cool metaphors come to my mind. Winter tree Depression looks like a tree in a night of winter sleep. That very deep and dreamless slumber. Though, how would we know? They might as well watch nightmares, which could compete with the Saw, or I spit on your grave. It is sad and does not bring joy to anyone. To some, it might even look ugly. Sometimes, decomposing fall foliage that cover the decaying human and animal feces with a soft fluffy coat smell bad. I mean, really bad. You better keep on moving. The tree stops interacting with the surrounding life. Birds abandoned their nests and no longer sing on its branches. It lost all its leaves and stays alone for the rest of the winter. It might appear that it is cold or dead. It is winter that makes its skin harden and darken. It becomes raw and thick. Or we could look at it differently. Winter can be beautiful. I love winter. It is my favorite season. In Germany, winter is usually gray and wet. The wind is brutal, you don’t want to go outside. The gray sky weighs heavy on your head. You are cold. On those days, I often must think of winter in Russia. With a nostalgic smile and a sharp wrench in my heart, I see my way home, my parents’ house, a rare artifact of Russian wooden architecture that survived the Revolution of 1917, on a peaceful winter night. The sky was beautifully painted in the darkest and deepest blue. Twinkling stars were magically winking at me. The way home from the bus stop was a thin stamp white trail in the snow. It lied between two snowbanks, as high as your knees. Tiny snow flakies sparkled in the soft orange light of the lanterns along the road. Like in a slow motion, the snow was falling on my palms and in my mouth in huge fluffy flakies. It was Christmas magic. No vehicles were driving by. It was so silent, that the only sound that sent waves into the space was crispy and squeaky snow under my heavy winter boots. I was the happiest I could be. Inevitably, the spring comes. And the tree that was asleep just yesterday, wakes up and gets more beautiful than ever. It gives birth to fresh crispy-green leaves, it grows more branches which are strong and flexible. The new ones make the tree bigger and older. It hosts more nests and attracts more birds to sing on its branches in the early morning when the sun rises. It amazes more people, they enjoy being around the tree. People go outside and spend time in its shadow. They arrange pick-nicks under its thick coat of leaves, laugh, eat and take pictures. More animals and kids play on the tree’s branches. Some might even build a small cabin on them, which will become a young kid’s secret escape into the magical world of their dreams. In Russia, they have a tradition of hugging a tree. It is believed that the tree would suck up all of the negativity and charge you with positive energy. Many people even have their special tree, which suits their personality. Some prefer the pine tree, others the oak tree. Lime trees and birches are popular as well. Then the fall approaches. The facade starts cracking, the leaves are falling off. Everything is getting browner and rainier. Slowly, everyone left the tree behind. Birds headed off south to have a sex-vacation, people are running from box to box hiding under an umbrella. It's winter again. Current view from from kitchen Last spring, I had a crazy idea that I can be an artist. So in a creative madness I decorated the only tree in our backyard with pieces of my old linen. And then died it with acrylic paint. I conceptualized it as a memory tree. Because my linen kept memories of nearly everything and outlived a lot of relationships and tragedies. Now, my roommate says, it is the only thing that reminds him of joy in the whole backyard. Computer game Depression is like a progressing computer game. You need to die so many times until you learn the lesson and get to the next level. Sometimes, when the level is hard, it gets frustrating and exhausting at some point. You lose interest and give up on the game. And when you do that, you stop playing the game and stop unlocking the next levels. That's a metaphor of the suicide. Suicide is the worst possible side-effect of mental illnesses. It should rightfully be taken seriously. Real suicide Last summer, a fellow member from the self-help group, which I regularly visit, jumped off a roof. She left two kids behind. She was young and had a special outlook on the world, which she lived in photography. She had been deeply depressed since March, when I saw her for the first time, which was the first time I visited a group meeting. In the flash round, she cried. She said, she could not bear it anymore, that she just wanted to give up. I felt that. I felt her pain. I knew too well those two sentences. There comes a time when only those two are left. And you just cry and say them over and over again. I wanted to give her a warm hug and to let her cry on my shoulder. But we didn't know each other. So, I had to restrain. At the end of May, she committed suicide. It shook deeply the whole group. It became so apparent that this is how the game ends for us. Many of us were deeply grieving. Up to 17% of people with bipolar disorder will take their lives as a result of their illness, making it the #1 cause of premature death in people with this disorder. Women attempt suicide about 3 times more often than men, although men are 4 times as likely to complete suicide. People with bipolar disorder are 2x more likely to attempt suicide than someone with a unipolar disorder. In a review of deaths of individuals with bipolar disorder from 1936-1988, 19% of 9,389 deaths were found to be because of suicide. (Ctrl+C Ctrl+V from the listing40 Profound Bipolar Disorder Suicide Statistics. Source: HealthResearchFunding.org) At her funeral on July 3rd, I was brokenhearted. I was late because it had taken me quite a time to choose the right black shirt and trousers. Dresses seemed too festive to me. I was nervous, it was my first funeral in Germany. It was my first suicide funeral. It was my first mental health funeral. The chapel was crowded. I stood leaning on the cold wooden door. I breathed heavily and needed time to process. I had never seen so many people attending a funeral. Those are small and private in Russia unless you are some kind of famous or rich. I counted some 250 people. All grieving. Some crying. Speeches were boring and long. Also, swampy and sticky. I was outraged when the priest said, ""We cannot know why [she] left. It will remain a mystery forever."" I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream so loud so that he would stop talking. How dare you say that we don't know why she jumped off the roof? How dare you indifferently pass the verdict that it will remain a mystery? I wanted to scream. Or to leave the chapel and slam the door. But I couldn't leave. I needed to stay. I owed it to her. I started crying. I couldn't stop. Tears ran in deep rivers down my cheeks. I didn't have a napkin. I couldn't bear the ceremony, but I couldn't go either. In the chapel across the columns, her family hung out on a string her photographs for the visitors to take away as a memory of her. I waited for most people to take one and leave the chapel. By the time I came up to the string with hanging photographs, I only had three left to choose from. I picked a very bleak image of a closed backyard, probably taken from a balcony on some fourth floor, on a clouded winter day. It was bleak. Like depression that kills us. I took it to remember this. The weather outside was good and sunny. It seemed totally out of place in the given context. The sun brutally burned my shoulders in the black shirt. I hate the sun. I hate everything when there is the sun. It blinds me, makes me sweaty and hot, and gives me headaches. Also, it burns my skin. So, no reason to love it. As I stood in line to throw my flower into the grave, I spent my time hating the sun. In that moment, I didn't realize how much this day would impact me. Her name was Verena. Depression Directly after the funeral, I fell into the deepest, darkest and the coldest well of depression. None of the previous episodes could come close to this one in severity. I was tired, I was failing on all fronts. I had ten days left to write my master's thesis, after which I had to go to Russia for three weeks — I deserved a vacation. I had been in a manic phase when I invited my then-partner's mom to come to visit Russia with me. Also, I didn't know how I was going to pay my bills. Verena's death was the trigger. When it became clear that I would not be able to finish my thesis before the deadline and that I needed an extension, it was too late to cancel the trip. Christoph's (my ex) mom had already made all the reservations. I didn't want to go there. I had a bad feeling. I wanted to stay home and close off myself from the angry, cruel world. But I rarely change plans. So, I went. I arrived in Moscow already at my worst. The first thing that I did upon arrival was buying a battery of alcoholic beverages and red bull cans to keep me going. This way I was going to write my thesis and to finish it by August 3rd. Good plan, destined for success. I worked, but much more I drank, smoked and had severe headaches. A bad state to write your thesis. My next step was to keep myself awake by the cocktail vodka red bull, with a lot of vodka and a lot of red bull. Three all-nighters, four cigarette packs. I came forward. But the body never forgives. Then Christoph's mother came. For a whole week, I needed to guide, to entertain and to translate for her. She was nearly helpless without me. She didn't know the language, people often didn't speak English and she wasn't very well at that either. Most importantly, she couldn't plan her program by herself. And she needed company by nearly any activity she undertook. A rich touristic program requires to get up early and to go to bed late. I was getting exhausted. I gave out all my energy, even the emergency generator. Burned all calories. No spoons left. I still needed to finish my thesis. So again all-nighters, again red bull. With the only difference: I increasingly preferred watching TV shows over writing the thesis. And I couldn't wake up. I turned into a horrible host and an indifferent individual. I could not wait for her to leave. A shameful thought, but I could not ban it from my thinking feed. I was anticipating my trip to Saint Petersburg, the time in a summery St. Petersburg, which everyone is talking about. I wanted to fall in love with St. Petersburg too. I was excited to see Sonya, my dear friend-by-coincidence. She is an architecture enthusiast and gives brilliant city tours. Instead, I locked myself up in her room for the whole week of my stay. I only came out of the room to either visit the bathroom or smoke a cigarette. Much more seldom it was because of the food. I was starving. Worse, I was deadly afraid to go outside. I was afraid of people and public space. I went outside only to buy cigarettes or alcohol, only at night and only in Sonya's company. What was I doing behind the closed doors the whole week? I was watching a TV show. Over and over again. Until I exhaust myself and pass out. Sometimes Sonya forced me to work on my thesis, and I did. But more often I watched TV series, not wrote my thesis. In this fashion, I spent my last week before the deadline. I failed. Self-explanatory. I went to my psychiatrist and first thing cried a quarter hour. I was the worst failure in the history of failures. He gave me a sick leave until the end of October. I had time to crawl out of the deep stinky rabbit hole I had accidentally fallen into. _____________ So back to the pink fluffy unicorns: I, for example, like to play Two Dots. It's an endless game which gets ever more complicated. Being depressed I spent hours solving new problems and trying to unlock a new level. Eventually, I would give up and even delete the app from my phone. But then occasionally, I would install it again and start it all over. Because deleting the app did not kill the small worm who wants salvation from unresolved problems. Lighthouse stairs Lastly, depression is like a brief stop on the endless stairs leading to the top of a lighthouse. You take upon this torture because of the view that it rewards you with in the end. The way up there is at times unbearable and brutal to your lungs and leg muscles. The space is tight, and the air is bad. Normally, the stairs are also crowded af, if we take a tower in a city hall or a cathedral. So, taking a short breath break is like a lottery. When you do get a chance, you would bow putting your hands on your knees. You breathe heavily and your face is red. You get no air, your lungs hurt, your leg muscles are sore. Looking either up or down makes you dizzy, and your feet sweat with tiny ice-cold drops. In that moment you question your sanity in deciding to punish yourself with these stairs. You now see the promised view in relation to your suffering. You re-evaluate the price- performance ratio. And the results are not in favor of the view. But the stream of people on the stairs keeps moving. In most cases, it carries you away, again and again upwards. Maybe the saddest thing about this is that in most cases you barely spend ten minutes on the roof of the tower. You briefly enjoy the view. Sometimes the view is disappointing. The weather was bad, gray clouds covered the city with a thick ceiling. The wind was strong and freezing. Your hair was flying around and got in your eyes and your mouth. It might be dirty and noisy upstairs. Even better, if you are afraid of height. In most cases, it's pretty crowdy on top. People are pushing each other, trying to get the best view. No one is talking to each other. It is understandably very upsetting. You take pictures from all possible angles anyways and go downstairs. The way down seems much shorter than the way up. You easily run downstairs asking yourself whether the view was worth the trouble. You don't know. Sometimes though, you might give up halfway through and turn back. Similar to the computer game wormy, we have a tower wormy. Every once in a while, it bites a little bit off your achievement organ and crawls inside your thinking organ. Then you forget about it only to remember again sometime later. Hope Now, going back to my introduction, when I wrote that during the depression, I try to understand my mistakes and to learn lessons from them so that I will never repeat them again. In manic phases, which in my case normally follow depressive episodes, I challenge myself to act upon my new knowledge and imperatives. I need to do that to prove myself that I learned the lesson and deserve redemption. I am my strongest critic. I need to forgive myself to move on, not the forgiveness of the others. I pass my own judgment on my actions. Because I know best all my motifs and thoughts. And before I ultimately forgive myself, I ask for forgiveness people that I hurt. Not formally to check the box, but genuinely and humbly. NB! I did not intend to romanticize depression with these metaphors, or worse, to implicate that I have the cure to depression. Depression is a serious, brutal disease that tragically changes people's lives, and sometimes ends them. Therefore, I do not recommend terminating your prescription meds, if you are affected by depression or other mental health issues. I take a bunch of those on a daily basis. However, I do not propagate for taking medication either. Whatever works for you best is best for your health. Invest time into exploring those ways. It always pays off. If you are affected by depression If you are affected by depression, allow yourself time to recover. My former therapist used to say: ""If you want to lie on the couch, lie on the couch"". That's the best advice I can give you. When you are well, you won't lie on the couch anyways. Take your time. There is no hurry when it comes to health. Second advice is to start slow and small. Make your bed. It's challenging enough. Don't be ashamed of feeling like taking a shower or doing laundry (because you have nothing left to wear) is Mount Everest (or Mount Weather rofl). It's okay. All people with depression share this mess and this shame. I think we should talk about this more, to support each other. So again, start small. Make your bed. It's enough. Third thing, your depression procrastination pays off. Hundreds if not thousands of hours that I spent on YouTube watching beauty tutorials, BuzzFeed videos and in-depth analyses of each Game of Thrones’ episode, eventually make up for the wasted time. At some point, you'll be able to connect the dots and turn that Netflix binge madness into something meaningful. Lastly, if you have suicidal thoughts, get help immediately. Tell people about this. Tell them how you feel. Don’t be silent. They care. Get any help that’s available and acceptable to you: medical, religious, anonymous hotline, support group, parents, friends — anything will do. However, suicidal tendencies without a doubt qualify for a good reason to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. This is how I got diagnosed. I needed to get suicidal first to notice that something is not right. If you are close to an affected person If you are close to an affected person, give them time. Recovery is a gradual process. Be patient and supportive. They know that they have problems with hygiene, that their room looks like an aftermath of the nuclear war, that they haven't done the dishes in weeks. It's alright. If you can, help them. If you can't, leave them. Time will come when they get up and do all the dishes and laundry in one go. Here, the spoon theory is a great illustration of this particular face of depression (shoutout to Anja Osypova). It is a metaphor that is used to explain the reduced amount of mental and physical energy available for activities of living and productive tasks that may result from disability or chronic illness. The term spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure in order to quantify how much energy a person has throughout a given day. It was coined by Christine Miserandino in 2003 in her essay The Spoon Theory. According to her theory, each activity requires a given number of spoons, which will only be replaced as the person ""recharges"" through rest. A person who runs out of spoons has no choice but to rest until their spoons are replenished. However, people with chronic diseases [...] and various disabilities may have sleep difficulties. This can result in a particularly low supply of spoons. (Ctrl+C Ctrl+V from Wikipedia) I hear people call each other tenderly spoony. I think it's cute. So, love your spoony, they can be adorable. My former partner Christoph used to literally drag me out of bed every day when I was at my lowest. He woke me up with the best good morning YouTube playlist and started by shaking all my body parts. It was very funny and so I started my day with a smile. Then he asked me what I wanted to wear. In most cases, I said ""Dragon. I wanna be a dragon."" So, he went into my room and brought the dragon, socks, and slippers. He took one foot out of the blanket and stroke it. Then he put a sock on it. When he was done with the second foot, he would start putting the dragon on me, while I was still lying flat. Anyway, it was funny. I laughed a lot. Next, he would put me straight up and finish dressing me up as a dragon. I was ready to start a new day. Tell them that you love them and that you believe in them. You might need to repeat it everyday. It is crucial to regularly give the person in depression encouraging affirmation and to cheer them up. On most days in depression, I cry at least once a day. I feel hopeless and worthless. I see no exit in the darkness. My partner was there to console me too. He hugged me, let me cry into his shirt and told me over and over again what I achieved and that I can do more. Once I was about to meet an elderly friend of mine who is usually very proud of me and thinks highly of me. I grew to perceive her appreciation as high expectations. It put a lot of pressure on me. I was afraid not to meet the standards. So, this time, being deep in depression, I got so anxious so that I wanted to cancel the plans. Every time I thought about it, I started crying and couldn't calm down. I felt like a complete failure. But canceling the plans would be a typical failure too. So, I had nothing left to do but to cry. Christoph took an A4 notebook and started going through the recent months with me. He asked me what I did in March, April, May, June, July, and August. Unexpectedly, it turned out that I had done a lot of things and worked a lot of jobs. At least on paper. So, we decided that we killed my worst enemy: I had things to tell about. My plan was to take a shower, put something semi-fancy on and just force myself outside. I would just recite from the chart Christoph and I had made earlier and that would do it. Fake it till you make it. It wouldn't be me if I hadn't blown up my own plan. Soon enough into my report, I got annoyed by the necessity to keep up the facade. So, I told the three ladies that I felt like a piece of shit and that I had been feeling like shit for months and that I didn't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I told them about my disorder, how I got diagnosed, how long it took me to find the medication that's right for me, that I went to a self-help group and that I found friends there. I felt relieved. And the ladies were again amazed by my honesty and strength. Of course, I thought that I didn't deserve it, but it was a huge relief, nevertheless. Epilogue As far as Christoph is concerned, so that you don't think that I am the luckiest girl in the world — which I was — should be rightly noted that he broke up with me three weeks ago. He couldn't deal with my illness any longer. And I let him go because he deserves it. I am deeply grateful for the time he spent next to me, feeding me off the spoon and putting the dragon on me. But I cannot force this burden on anyone. Author: Sasha Khrenova #depression #suicide #bipolar You can find this essay on Facebook if you want to share it. It would be appropriate due to my authorship. Also, it has pictures. 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But that scares me a bit. My GP still haven't put me on mood stabilizers. I am only on Sertraline till my next appointment. Which sent me on a bad, bad manic episode. My first episode which felt as real and dangerous as it could, to the point I have a scar on my face because I'd cut it. That is how serious it was. I didn't spent money nor had sex, I was however extremely paranoic, had too much energy, was hallucinating, my self-esteem was sky-high... At the time it was good, but now that I am back to myself... I am terrified of it. I hate it. Every moment of happiness I am scared that shit is starting again. However, now, I am... Fine. I am not depressed. Which I was expecting, because I would always crash. I had an horrible depression that lasted 4 years, and it was packed with anxiety and panic attacks... It messed me up. I didn't finish school, nor do I have a job. I am a 23 yo that can't get its life right because of a crippling depression and anxiety. But for the very first time ever since my 13s (yes, I had panic attacks this long), I am feeling fine. But this is scary? I am not sure if Sertraline is dealing with my depression and is doing a good job at it. But the fear of getting manic again because of Sertraline is making my anxiety peak at night. Last night I woke up 4 times because I was hearing my dad call me, and then it was my mom, but really they weren't saying things... It was my imagination. But while I feel fine, this fear is so, so bad. I always think ""am I hallucinating again?"". Thoughts like ""in a few days I will either be depressed or manic again"" makes me extremely worried. And so is my family. They are very supportive, and they felt so powerless last time it scared them to death. Every time I say ""I am so happy today"" my mom asks me if I had a good night of sleep or if I am feeling like a bit high. Same for my sister and my dad. Questions like ""You okay? For real?"" is turning out to be too common. Seriously. This is the worst.",1.3078351388972962,3.439132215880897,3.4399406887369146,87.90692791865887,81.67990074441687,6.909374810869697,22.484355141318158,8.015777009494485,1.2212824426556927,1525,51,324,30,41,519,182,403,0.254,0.629,0.117,-0.9972,5,0,0,0,0,0,82.0,0,1,4,2,17,40,6,7,16,2,52,5,3,3,2,49,73,34,1,7,15,5,6,3,0,2,1,3,0,0,27,12,0,0,10,0,2,2,9,25,0,2,24,9,57,14,29,44,7,50,0,5,0,1,18,14,1,6,37,232,84,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425583623369175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17135737352212185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980243393075686,0.16988622904892614,0.0,0.057413383190025764,0.1870284460236162,0.22757786091992505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16303140746875638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624211909393085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05961455721031929,0.0,0.0,0.048153257204242496,0.07697715028821911,0.3215476749259215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753948119242036,0.12581829572552095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07038826114352345,0.16803954275790314,0.15101306626836486,0.05334125485286746,0.14338173393067466,0.0,0.0,0.1270213646092442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801958646974658,0.0,0.0,0.1878783649157308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15896624240202262,0.0,0.07371700890782484,0.0,0.0,0.08415377117690626,0.0,0.0,0.1577770118351014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14818854968109707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18258775156753349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05273865516967511,0.10943379953087876,0.0,0.0,0.06607687400700404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967998840262994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17489534021912076,0.0,0.0,0.05488794635102634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940791407183034,0.2102063560049396,0.07315662054543542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056786697393739864,0.0,0.17520843239163045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07058330508118628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505974115752463,0.08364277217560755,0.0,0.0,0.16997202947482293,0.04783281660441007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376417616461236,0.0,0.11875446516257028,0.22426044216859412,0.07556576507003393,0.0,0.0,0.07789270232819298,0.0,0.07664335982358868,0.06176431255111569,0.0,0.07471971212134271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0528488300267302,0.0,0.05962819584956738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472985296016289,0.07037162285847041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049604632726111465,0.04784282296304413,0.0,0.059276296519074685,0.21769111117278436,0.0,0.07077443789179096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121493802559815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232141917470939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582673348028597,0.0,0.05304043451025939,0.0,0.0,0.04808232034743545 bipolarreddit,LeftistUU,2019/03/03,"Making the Ativan to Klonopin switch. Any feelings about Klonopin? I'd been taking Ativan as needed for anxiety and sleep for several years now. But it's become clear that it's not that great for sleep- the half life isn't long enough for me to stay asleep, so I go to bed at 10 and wake up at 2:30, 4:30, 6:30 etc. My partner gave me some of her Klonopin as a test, and the next day my psychiatrist approved the switch. I'll be taking 1.5mg to start with. Anything I should know about it? I've had at least some little memory problems (partner said she cut me a check for rent and it was a bookmark in a book I was reading, I don't remember her ever giving it to me). But I'm wondering what people's experiences are.",2.685585585585589,4.207227108108114,3.810540540540541,89.7099099099099,75.21621621621622,6.825225225225225,23.819819819819823,7.492282038375204,0.8965927927927924,564,17,122,7,12,183,98,148,0.07,0.8740000000000001,0.055,-0.2676,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,1,0,8,0,9,5,4,1,2,20,22,9,0,3,3,0,1,0,2,1,1,1,2,2,8,5,0,0,4,2,2,1,3,2,0,1,6,2,13,1,21,14,5,15,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,3,7,75,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367842704808606,0.0,0.13913071643159688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14966422819201186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20086208514662032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729166423894175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879212240806224,0.2028340935248402,0.0,0.16451261266279918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17790460746115005,0.0,0.0,0.09195937561042887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744671091070764,0.10336140565921992,0.0,0.0,0.20051327433905752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999514728724743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284607728265964,0.0,0.18228238920781584,0.0,0.16094999528516932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140021682720975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348549443520744,0.0,0.0,0.1934217316955928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12608636038729934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17402585874650636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18192008511968205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060242401541109,0.0,0.1730008437438686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205462313671688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3640044264916215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287291366526709,0.193850146897255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734885176751801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19723119855762666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11711887630155494 bipolarreddit,GreyWolfXx,2019/03/03,"Where I end and bipolar begins: passion? I'm not sure when I began having bipolar symptoms. But for most of my life, I've been very cyclic. I don't think I was stable for most of my adolescence. It is very scary for me to look back on my life. And think of how most of the times I really felt like MYSELF were when I was most likely manic. I used to be very goal-oriented, loved to learn, passionate about my hobbies. Just passionate, passionate, passionate. But not always. I would slip into depressive phases and either lose interest in things or stop entirely. When I think of myself, I think of someone is incredibly passionate. But that doesnt describe me at all. I feel like a husk who used to be someone. I still like the same things. But I never learn, or do anything anymore. I used to write essays for fun. I used to practice Japanese religiously. I used to be so passionate. The scary thing is. I think my passion and vigor was never me. It was mania. I'm scared that I was never anything but manic or depressed. I'm scared that's all I'll be. Or a husk. The only moments where I feel like myself are when I'm passionate and working hard. But I haven't felt a single flicker of that passion since I had my manic episode. I just feel blank. Sometimes depressed. Sometimes stable. Mostly bored. And I'm scared to feel passion sometimes. Because then...its mania. It must be mania. I dont know how to separate who *I* am from bipolar disorder. Is the me that I appreciate just my manic self? Is this passionless, semi-depressed, stay at home, jobless, college drop out...ME? TL;DR: My identity is being passionate, being hardworking, a love of learning. I'm scared the past me was just manic and that I will never have that kind of passion again (unless manic). What separates ME from bipolar? I am currently a husk of my old self.",1.4420591417237674,4.122540282485876,3.14744680851064,85.91214028128384,88.26553672316385,5.837624714508955,23.351123933165045,7.295548434001253,1.3824435148455343,1436,56,262,25,47,474,153,354,0.13699999999999998,0.69,0.173,0.9315,2,0,0,0,0,0,68.0,0,0,0,2,17,34,0,4,11,0,35,22,0,7,8,65,63,25,0,2,18,0,7,5,0,3,7,0,1,2,17,8,0,1,15,0,0,0,10,9,0,0,12,8,45,25,32,41,10,29,0,4,1,15,7,7,0,9,25,189,62,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109504072528514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473604390530179,0.0,0.0,0.14062386599840532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570004178145007,0.0,0.052084981376152896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29436614954307394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792455707204084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001380244614351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07567673271619257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17280926871245758,0.12208034008061025,0.16407648158902818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653973621428478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570583753757692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897526064451669,0.04695698730871572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12070119040631952,0.20871455405222852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175021715820873,0.0955883506506656,0.0,0.0,0.1542304625430421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2635942271839244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965757626128458,0.0,0.0,0.06498290440489883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156457565132247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05473668115033042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3421715658556947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17827041407730132,0.0,0.0,0.07067895479665462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14479037941508655,0.0,0.2535145803951518,0.0,0.0,0.09107038271723014,0.06823452548864341,0.07143379210307166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052858593487598,0.08880751790450295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17029268760590238,0.2737406587947416,0.0,0.0,0.049822234137168624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3689746208049838,0.0,0.2114971395883012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062203189173395484,0.0,0.0,0.060695931328354526,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,didyoubringranch12,2019/03/04,"An interesting title I read a lot but don’t write much, anxiety but today is different this is the longest cycle I’ve ever gone thru and am beginning to wonder when it will end, over and over I lose myself I lose all that I love and I begin to love the mania. I won’t hang from the rafters but I can love this part of me and live like this. Bring it on world 🌍 bring on the pain and misery. 🖤",-0.816839323467228,1.2677364069767452,1.8660676532769536,95.60884778012684,91.90697674418604,4.9877378435517965,14.79492600422833,6.574015621080383,-0.500590697674419,305,6,72,4,11,105,58,86,0.179,0.605,0.21600000000000005,0.705,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,2,8,0,0,6,0,7,4,0,0,2,13,16,9,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,1,1,0,4,2,3,0,0,1,0,9,5,9,13,4,15,0,2,0,3,4,5,0,2,7,51,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15855551537787113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21654556792152346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835733690417268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18748111672187429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125816081172076,0.0,0.18301689658776127,0.0,0.0,0.4637482338433458,0.0,0.17620746598225245,0.5611884512258819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523620450554422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22054228889918392,0.0,0.0,0.22444547237428628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20731894144970228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19646095020352344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247677230302665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,misslennox,2019/03/04,"What are you all taking to help manage your depressive states? I’ve been on lamotrigine for a few years and it’s been great until now, this month I’ve had the worst depression since my diagnosis. I’m going to the doctor in a few days and I have no idea what he might recommend switching to or adding. I’m already on lithium which seems to help the manic side of things and I’ve tried depakote - that was seriously a dream drug for my mind but my body blew up - so that’s out. So what is everyone else taking to boost the depression up?",1.4331345565749238,3.813961724770647,3.000206422018348,89.73101299694191,83.12844036697248,6.569113149847095,20.09250764525994,7.793537801064563,0.7918067278287464,424,12,90,8,12,139,75,109,0.132,0.754,0.114,-0.4606,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,0,3,6,0,0,7,0,8,3,1,0,1,11,14,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,5,0,0,4,0,6,1,15,9,4,14,0,3,0,0,5,7,0,3,5,58,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.216291228331525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21771217177447466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12640399248986486,0.0,0.5064443684140483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20061463402130134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272981466405266,0.0,0.1637331181738608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872867063423236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139149938288734,0.0,0.0,0.21609104609547752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262749767618971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.221260505424998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079253671486812,0.19790445102910045,0.0,0.15644558645182552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784313311884649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16213349113100164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947356980446033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302139042428362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330713523146354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262177807476963 bipolarreddit,PopPunkJess,2019/03/04,"Doing a half marathon for charity - if you can donate anything, even a little bit is so helpful. Yep. I'm that prick but I'm hoping to raise £250 minimum, maybe even more if i'm lucky. &#x200B; Please donate if you can. spread the word if you can. I'm running for the mental health charity MIND, as they work so incredibly hard all the time and have provided and help me when discussing my rights, treatments and meds &#x200B; [https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/jess-woodward1996](https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/jess-woodward1996)",8.805238095238092,12.948321428571429,5.7500000000000036,70.4616666666667,66.85714285714286,6.590476190476192,26.0,7.793537801064563,1.6989857142857152,456,14,65,6,9,126,60,84,0.044,0.705,0.252,0.9627,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,3,1,1,5,3,1,0,5,1,6,2,1,0,1,13,11,12,0,5,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,6,2,4,11,3,5,0,0,0,0,7,2,1,6,2,38,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3776564478523108,0.4235293933063103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14341448915715327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902645075568185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302156144224561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561172720072906,0.0,0.0,0.1852474844700068,0.0,0.0,0.23362736866416714,0.0,0.0,0.17309562085484587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17467056788643898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750838987738204,0.0,0.1935816053378661,0.0,0.17562945105908798,0.0,0.17596931315998218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19130296792343326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14883094939913588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162187203033017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12687517208991314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4235293933063103,0.0 bipolarreddit,Sooodun,2019/03/04,"Dealing with fatigue, anhedonia, and cognitive impairment? I’ve been having these symptoms, I guess symptoms of depression, and I don’t know how to deal with them. Part of me wants to take a low dose stimulant medication... but I’m at risk for mania and psychosis. I just wonder if anyone else deals with this, how they deal with it, do they talk to their doctor about it? How do you talk to your doctor about it? What if doctors don’t take you seriously? My GP and psychiatrists haven’t taken this side of things seriously, and it’s been going on for years. I’m 33, not employed, not in education, not in a relationship, nothing going on in my life, no motivation, I struggle to focus enough even to have a conversation (I struggle to find words), I can’t focus on cleaning and don’t have the energy for it, and this has been going on for years. What makes this more pressing is that my mom is in poor health, her memory is failing at an increasingly rapid pace, my family’s financial situation is increasingly dire, and I need to step up and take on much more of our shared burdens. I do receive SSI disability but I never worked long enough for SSDI so it isn’t much, and not enough. My brother is also mentally ill and not working. My mom has been carrying all our burdens her whole life but it’s time for her to be in retirement and focus on her own wellbeing. What can I do? I feel like I’m missing that part of me that cares about getting up. My energy is almost bedridden level, like someone who has a serious physical disease. The GP tells me I have slight anemia (and I take iron pills) but otherwise they say nothing is wrong. I took like 2.5 milligrams of Ritalin the other day that I got from a friend, after my dad berated me about not doing anything. After that, I felt a little jittery but was able to get up and walk around, and I even went to the gym the next two days in a row, and did some basic chores around the house. I had better days than I’ve had in a really long time, and didn’t really suffer any side effects (besides some initial jitters)... But I know that this is playing with fire. Before my bipolar diagnosis, I had a prescribed stimulant for a while to study, and while it helped me study (and clean), I also dealt with huge amounts of anxiety, anger, and possibly a mixed episode... (idk how I would describe it... very agitated, speedy, anxious, angry mental state though). I’m very conflicted and confused, because I need something to change for me. I have a psychiatrist appointment today, and I just feel like the fatigue, anhedonia and cognitive impairment is a huge issue for me, but I’ve been trying to communicate this for years and don’t know how to. My GP is passing it to the psychiatrist, and psychiatrist is just giving me antidepressants that aren’t helping these specific symptoms (they do help my mood and anxiety though). Anybody else’s experiences would really help!",5.5588552401322175,6.542807670863311,6.421259965000974,75.7901215244021,67.61510791366906,9.751818005055416,31.393933501847172,9.901549036053794,3.070468559206689,2299,91,425,52,37,761,252,556,0.141,0.757,0.103,-0.9672,2,0,1,0,0,0,87.0,2,3,6,6,21,28,1,4,22,0,48,17,0,10,2,84,80,47,0,7,18,4,5,4,1,2,17,1,3,0,31,34,0,1,10,2,1,11,17,18,0,1,16,6,59,9,67,61,17,56,0,7,0,0,38,27,0,8,21,302,90,8,0.0732284437450302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332770858386449,0.0,0.0,0.11712152001238525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04979785285695497,0.0,0.1120391180597669,0.08272729778406883,0.0,0.05120303051264921,0.0750311943539006,0.060260769734384136,0.1303776805294384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0446393796251289,0.0,0.062312012097287435,0.0,0.0,0.06476460764611905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466127881799836,0.0,0.07746598373710985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167886453263018,0.3019812402038062,0.06307155129490476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22485724538365431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12234593656061166,0.0,0.0,0.226993672756542,0.0,0.09673339291938224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07163146941932089,0.0690332595982177,0.0,0.07405300285206788,0.10462882968636897,0.07031078974870787,0.0,0.06692947093784284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0565761139864016,0.0,0.07651767892844415,0.07024739588832725,0.12485223639134697,0.0,0.05856747600854596,0.0,0.08066938663289798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07783841138455974,0.0,0.0,0.19633392901179164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449579224270651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764314699228398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207333127790558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034468308789599,0.14310287480901593,0.07339413843495744,0.0,0.12960973669922646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048880554827992334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376995305010575,0.14759409556241615,0.0,0.0,0.17152853654456388,0.0,0.0,0.10766266385064943,0.10859592632539672,0.05647829020652704,0.0,0.07787928068142108,0.0,0.0,0.14052933351081165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585985370322376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08255406754666614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14073604855360206,0.0,0.0,0.07861994360212557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058234197640564436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231183892093348,0.0,0.0,0.062046222749882224,0.05637483361299363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15310853800409072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283371751642557,0.22023470521597494,0.11771649847621295,0.06400488750746723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04864972415320107,0.0,0.143893148356751,0.0,0.08540018887054457,0.0,0.06941200229310522,0.0,0.0813594954246049,0.04971730646158404,0.0,0.07153354902985486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084227038537015,0.04319203340437429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.067883500996027,0.0,0.08175694230283632,0.0,0.0,0.07941312352521188,0.10662235838587536,0.0,0.0,0.10403877081955468,0.08006380764150481,0.0,0.14147015064888796 bipolarreddit,TickleGrenade,2019/03/04,"Hey guys, I'm a little worried about my condition. So I take lamictal, lithium, seroquel and adderall. All last week I was so manic that when I was tired, I was wired and creative. Nothing new, I know. 2 weeks back I had issues with my insurance which caused me to miss 4 days of lithium. So I worked on getting caught back up on dosage, cutting down to build back up. Day before yesterday, my stomach hurt so badly, and I could smell this rotten. Sour smell. I laid down, and slept for 3 hours. I woke up realizing I took no lamictal or lithium that night Now today I have been chasing down this foul odor that my wife cant smell. It's bad. It keeps getting stronger, and my stomach hurts and I just said f it, lay down again. The smell is so potent, that I have bunkered myself in my room, which has that odor, but only slightly. I'm all shakey, seeing shit, and a mess. Had anyone else had a situation like this before?",1.7367730802415906,4.036220278688528,2.8034742594190405,92.11796376186369,81.18579234972678,5.382686223756112,22.74633304572908,6.5966054737557815,0.5319573770491806,713,24,148,7,19,227,116,183,0.141,0.809,0.05,-0.9179,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,1,13,10,2,0,4,0,13,5,4,1,2,18,27,15,0,1,3,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,13,8,0,1,2,0,0,2,2,9,0,0,12,10,22,1,16,14,2,30,0,3,1,0,4,12,1,1,17,92,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058476553689756,0.15510558500892516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492031189956452,0.25279013770550696,0.0,0.0,0.2576246099414661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15550784239856513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12086374383295585,0.0,0.0,0.1952537506207816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12645765689262278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15817846771493438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14988892315346805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490777358723214,0.0,0.3241085134914778,0.0,0.0,0.15800025519462946,0.0,0.13455253288861402,0.0,0.0,0.08319389142038656,0.123394017978066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395609021302185,0.1517214390122301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620269701347272,0.0,0.1420588547112019,0.0,0.1452521492747346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513048436646765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439960112286275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062939418452193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538827832829707,0.0,0.1701562402002213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138181028768874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17398779120404814,0.14348950879725994,0.0,0.16818754176219874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24285406517651306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102056512286662,0.15373263377128113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,VictoriaMusicOnline,2019/03/04,"Wrote this while sectioned , day 6... ""Mania Made Me Do It"" Mania made me miss my class, Perhaps that's why I didn't pass. Mania made me steal those tools, Played the clown and class fool. Mania made me smash the school window, Lobbed it hard, smashed in one throw. Mania made me drink so hard, Smashed the gin glass left the shards. Mania made me smash a door, I wept and wrangled on the floor. Mania made me drink too much, Persuaded myself it was my crutch. Mania made me incredibly poor, Living life became a chore. Mania made me feel as such, That one day the stars I could touch. Mania made me think I was God, But then I behaved like such a sod. Mania made me talk so loud, But perhaps I shouldn't be so proud. Mania made me rather odd, I told the others who'd wryly nod. Mania makes my mind a crowd, I try to calm it with a shroud. Mania gave me a wild sex binge, But surely after I did cringe. Mania made me accuse my friend, I thought he stalked me hours on end. Mania made me search the garden, Made me accuse you - I beg your pardon. Mania made me stop my pills, Suspect the government of grave ills. Mania made me think I was Marx, Made a speech in the park, commandeered a high street march. Mania made me see weird shapes, Talk nonstop two hours straight. Now I'm in a mental hospital, the loony bin, the madhouse. Now I am deep in the shit because mania made me do it. Mania made me do it! Victoria A Weaver 2019",1.4493684210526323,3.7170140596491272,2.2335964912280737,95.96934210526315,82.08771929824562,4.6421052631578945,16.517543859649123,5.6839178017228535,-0.6768456140350878,1097,20,236,6,30,341,151,285,0.109,0.797,0.094,0.1003,0,0,2,0,0,0,50.0,0,2,0,1,9,13,1,0,23,0,13,7,1,22,1,40,45,11,1,3,4,0,4,1,1,1,3,2,4,0,12,3,2,1,5,4,1,2,2,7,0,3,30,7,43,6,11,11,2,28,0,3,1,1,11,14,1,0,13,122,55,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02936111819534148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038456070668293284,0.0,0.0,0.062125264318303376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943673093170736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04266015721251111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024353821532900014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037212389234297136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629329154975167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050889281082444435,0.0,0.0,0.09486623141011713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052331736473634934,0.0,0.034020573917887105,0.02353113134997191,0.0,0.04253083996734357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9570785472635892,0.03215070997426319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0485392911050129,0.0,0.04863321991565022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03540703550419366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06527610399055457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04874585231564632,0.03838150598615237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049440985550441366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04026834526315145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045395222716161934,0.0,0.0,0.07742688304198951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061724755393100274,0.0,0.0382378659603238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04602400567274108,0.0,0.03270107523068805,0.0,0.04705049679533396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043461689203273784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,iwannabeaccepted0416,2019/03/05,Feeling of dread and despair I have an overwhelming feeling of dread right now and I'm barely keeping it together. Im feeling legitly sick right now. I just cant. Plus I think my relationship is ending. My life was going so good. I was so stable. I am learning to leave my problems at the door when I go to work but i just cant deal with my life right now when I have time to think. I'm having these thoughts of stabbing myself. I'm not going to it's just a continuous cycle of these thoughts when I go through this. I can't deal with the dread and my relationship going down the shitter. Ugh ,0.5909756097561001,2.963107121951221,2.573853658536585,91.21443902439026,87.53658536585365,5.231219512195122,22.83414634146341,6.742157984588678,0.7060399999999998,468,18,99,6,15,156,65,123,0.157,0.7759999999999999,0.067,-0.8906,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,11,8,0,4,5,0,10,3,0,0,0,21,26,10,0,1,5,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,5,6,0,1,8,0,0,5,4,7,0,0,4,3,16,1,14,22,0,19,0,2,0,0,4,5,0,0,9,66,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33312082230575385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14309347211008752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24506751334264104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4590889997595913,0.1355081674233901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17451162825901487,0.0,0.0,0.14360121428656725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17106783467458012,0.0,0.0,0.22822804055024234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15459030750344865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34690817541773866,0.0,0.4139119475988601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20704118647163008,0.0,0.2565198707115024,0.09420645177303942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761700057165975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,colouredcats,2019/03/05,"Week 4 and not doing well I don't know if I should even post this here but I love this community and the support that derives from all of you and I am in need of support. I found out I was pregnant a few days ago and have had some major internal turmoil about decisions I have to make. Would I want to have a child, and am I ready for a child who could potentially have the multitude of disorders I have? Do I have the money for such a huge responsibility? Would aborting be a regret for me? Do I want to bring a child into this devastating world inside of a capitalistic society? I am so frazzled. I don't know what to do. I know I can't raise a child with no money but aborting sounds down right scary. No one can tell me what to do, I know, but what do I do?",1.6095031055900648,3.21018991925466,3.8465527950310574,87.96746894409941,78.37888198757764,7.084472049689442,22.68012422360249,7.957251820313856,0.9374894409937892,591,18,136,10,14,204,87,161,0.16,0.7070000000000001,0.133,-0.7509999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,1,11,0,27,1,0,1,1,30,40,10,0,9,5,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,4,8,8,0,0,6,0,2,1,6,2,1,1,3,1,21,4,19,32,4,12,0,1,0,1,8,7,0,2,3,107,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179763579815183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16191354798789073,0.0,0.0,0.13078457822987502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324181159177045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339427306476521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22235183605138573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4457984736733338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18302841796363145,0.0,0.1353657675315909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503682903106401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374176484007157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19421944359898652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731839416489056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4602537284600519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772498441089666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23922489315465,0.0,0.16266815046850286,0.0,0.18233508004635213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881163709084425,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Spoonriver1993,2019/03/05,"Failing all of my classes again I failed one my first year, two last semester and I'm on my way to failing at least one this semester. My French teacher scolded me very harshly today and is speaking to the dean. Everything she said was true. I'm just so ashamed and needed to vent. My family is very disappointed in me as I have quite a high potential and a medium at an ""elite"" college but doing pretty much none of my work. I've already taken a leave of absence and being cooped up with my mother for that long drive me insane. Plus I really love school. I just feel so ashamed and need some motivation/support.",3.4989256198347114,5.321964057851243,4.6347851239669415,83.38490495867771,73.71074380165291,7.4846280991735545,27.802479338842968,8.238735603445708,1.9507646280991733,485,19,93,8,10,159,86,121,0.162,0.745,0.094,-0.7218,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,7,5,8,0,2,5,0,6,1,0,0,2,17,14,11,0,2,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,8,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,6,0,4,3,3,15,2,15,10,5,14,0,4,0,1,5,6,0,1,6,64,17,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210874667999793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800586152392935,0.0,0.1888689541407328,0.0,0.1013012660929882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17041472468228494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21167719395698908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633092275957392,0.0,0.2121381329245204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773004458960146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18082063817669594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14727781101330487,0.2971089464468993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2715200967916974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20382452895028824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21309328159117505,0.0,0.0,0.12834716895846568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19057550565210246,0.0,0.0,0.2027614659853665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273509595648889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899051609936061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19570952711600387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33061387158177546,0.0,0.15902581417665304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14585471867881053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290166486449054 bipolarreddit,Flamestaaq,2019/03/05,why did i drink coffee at 4 pm honestly though i'm thankful for my meds which will allow me to get much needed sleep. i hope that this is okay to say. ,3.5190909090909086,3.2527719696969686,4.790454545454548,90.10568181818184,71.72727272727273,7.8121212121212125,22.560606060606066,7.1686216300943375,0.4816787878787876,117,2,28,1,2,39,30,33,0.0,0.642,0.358,0.9081,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,3,2,1,1,0,3,8,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,4,4,6,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,16,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33015211816512124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17607947895190024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3347377384268987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37435417748774136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477490956191161,0.24989668258960615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680124991068141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372642325620044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102835094247118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33112126429107785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3041088879896441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Sp00kyGhoul,2019/03/06,"Trying to think through crisis Apologies in advance for how long this might be. Today they changed my meds due to me being in crisis and mixed state for awhile. So I’m weaning off Effexor and starting latuda. As well as switching from busipar to Clonidine, and keeping my 400mgs of seroquel a day. So a lot of change when I’ve been all over the place but I was excited for hopefully some relief. After getting this news I found out my boyfriend and I will be homeless in two weeks. We have been approved for section 8 but 8 families have to be placed before we can and they have no eta. My boyfriend is going to stay with his grandma and I’m going to bounce around friends houses I think. My grandmother and mom passed in September and November of 2018 and my dad passed when I was a teen. I spiraled into an uncontrollable sobbing mess because I can’t go to my grandmas who always took care of me. I feel like I’ve wrecked everything by going off the rails so hard this last year, and I’ve let my grandma down cause all she wanted was me to have my shit together before she died and I couldn’t even do that... idk the purpose of this post I think I just needed to get it off my chest. ",3.763842203548084,5.159738222689079,4.291876750700283,87.84217553688144,72.23529411764707,6.969561157796452,28.348272642390288,7.3871296695380915,1.5001253034547148,939,36,190,10,18,297,144,238,0.123,0.769,0.108,-0.4116,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,2,0,2,2,10,11,1,1,7,0,21,2,2,2,2,38,41,21,1,4,3,2,2,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,7,17,0,1,5,0,0,8,3,4,1,1,7,2,31,7,37,26,5,37,0,1,0,0,12,15,2,4,12,132,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445466981989473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224508564966945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08385070583218286,0.0,0.2340940326706425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402439052647226,0.1413042719298514,0.2910245379254552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870996037077322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275774173900255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085210571862487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12362328593684037,0.0,0.1296722219667306,0.0,0.06955065919691991,0.09826750834434284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15081917785304572,0.1062726930983443,0.0,0.1437309711889138,0.0,0.3126969425966274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12321999041196365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662063439778116,0.0,0.15871707624296902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226295087686473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212361770283616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14065671473255315,0.0,0.06720118626265427,0.0,0.0,0.12172960283296196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694218665852965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15278977942011734,0.0,0.0,0.1459214279273411,0.0,0.1610997843205524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199340973545117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874260983527981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173723827450529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14119562844513958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736034257096766,0.14661262554935006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644141959749073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038365305205926,0.0,0.15282584961514625,0.09338909442486967,0.0,0.1343687709642329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113200760624473,0.0,0.11033629023358016,0.0,0.12367618525086035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08857927750274856 bipolarreddit,Okzeins,2019/03/06,"Anxiety from Vraylar? I recently got prescribed Vraylar for bipolar. The doctor said it would also help with my anxiety. The anxiety does happen less often, however, I'm still getting it occasionally and when I do, it is the worst it's ever been. Has anyone else experienced this? Does it pass?",3.2396765498652265,6.362479490566037,5.396819407008088,69.8556603773585,84.28301886792453,8.311590296495956,30.21293800539083,8.841846274778883,3.723773045822103,235,12,35,7,7,81,41,53,0.173,0.78,0.048,-0.7219,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,0,5,2,0,0,1,5,10,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,2,3,0,3,6,2,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,28,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872558267463608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5373899948872642,0.0,0.0,0.16372850710187772,0.23992223340374655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23967032634010066,0.4098259595185921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956087104854213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21180904391019773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223377328687607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18727730205803655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070648793052676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569509693503662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312024780941888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227375926741472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869986403508866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633891057280267,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Paczkl,2019/03/06,"My sister (14yo) just attempted suicide My sister has been suffering from eating disorders and depression for months now. This afternoon she just attempted suicide by taking lots of antidepressants. It's just so fucking frustrating how our genes are fucked up. At her age I was already at my second or third major depressive episode. And I'm so cought deep on my own shit that I don't know what I can do for her as I never knew what I could do to help myself and I never had any help at that point to know what could had been done. So that's it. Just wanted to vent a little and see if you guys maybe had any insights on this.",4.241404444444441,5.447199416000004,4.930666666666667,84.44977777777778,70.84,8.435555555555556,25.88888888888889,8.841846274778883,1.780822222222222,497,15,100,9,9,160,81,125,0.214,0.747,0.039,-0.9787,0,0,0,0,0,2,9.0,1,1,0,2,9,7,4,0,1,0,15,4,1,1,2,21,24,11,2,4,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,10,4,1,0,4,0,0,0,3,7,0,2,8,1,16,0,15,14,3,15,0,3,1,2,10,9,3,3,6,78,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19085550209139604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352249415801183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27617427206573764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29792453123085505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982165939049856,0.0,0.0,0.17698870969770827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17697183967762548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31978044468810235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17124847754111625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318505434092412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19009846687436815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17334213159026596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14703658044818282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17375231893858542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380476738819931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667806291274632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349440315406893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378193909609697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17753150487451755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3783601956055661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003747324496095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201085941852506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,squeakylemons,2019/03/06,"Bipolar and ADHD I saw a post from about a year ago about a person taking lamictal and vyvanse along with other things, but I couldn't exactly find what I was looking for. &#x200B; I've been taking lamictal for a while, but recently stopped taking it because I kept forgetting about it (I know, very bad. I'm back on it now). I've also been on vyvanse/other ADHD meds like adderal for a while as well. Apparently I've been manic recently according to my pdoc, which isn't surprising, so she took me off of vyvanse for the next month until I get my bipolar back in check. She said that stimulants like vyvanse can influence manic bipolar. What I was wondering if this was true. I've never had a problem before, and vyvanse helps me concentrate in school. Has anyone else had this experience where stimulates affected their manic-ness?",6.490000000000002,7.369562363057322,7.068031847133759,72.35172929936306,65.49681528662421,10.356433121019107,34.808280254777074,10.355215969177356,3.8676196178343965,669,30,112,16,10,220,98,157,0.07400000000000001,0.79,0.13699999999999998,0.8743,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,1,0,10,7,0,0,7,0,12,3,0,4,3,23,24,12,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,1,11,5,0,2,3,0,1,1,3,2,1,0,12,3,14,5,19,11,0,22,0,0,2,0,6,6,0,2,16,79,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35925307015831925,0.0,0.13249070894301992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11952620854247452,0.0,0.16194404842693744,0.18161497035170732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450861809878173,0.15314340494534054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22985699131959586,0.12479609429471936,0.09111179222598244,0.0,0.1271827509044278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485789055778672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462043517043195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366072759320086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808870690732304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018248627812047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214143805355448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604100130907888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12551201335133685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16602067327424214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930064075802363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11527575619978098,0.0,0.15895652896036672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13050609242097982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431450786605621,0.0,0.0,0.14301674487759758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29515509442228843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421743740357936,0.0,0.0,0.1512654231529324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249584938315633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371347037822514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09929715861021032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16605986698266004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12332335175722152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13438597543151007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16208719904728042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18161497035170732,0.09624983650716597 bipolarreddit,graymal-kin,2019/03/06,"I’m so tired of being a disabled parent. I wish this were ever easy. I’m currently tearing up because I’m bedridden with severe asthma and I can’t look after my daughter alone (her father is with her supervising). I don’t know what I’d do if I were alone with her. I might die in the middle of the night trying to prepare things for her. It’s so scary and depressing. I wish I had a normal life. Normal physical wellness, mental wellness... but now I end up feeling like a terrible mother.",1.789090909090909,4.0172766464646426,4.004333333333335,83.98650000000005,80.51515151515152,5.9802020202020225,24.041414141414148,7.1686216300943375,1.2135123232323228,384,14,72,5,10,132,67,99,0.184,0.687,0.129,-0.6582,2,2,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,5,0,9,3,0,0,1,15,17,6,1,5,2,4,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,3,2,13,3,11,12,0,10,0,1,1,0,8,4,0,2,7,52,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37377373610054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999775456497864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15541723647664518,0.0,0.187273689376988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982093977298625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632230667258065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123854431812016,0.1289101285110986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09916799485426712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745382226529794,0.08815643851333847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515285705864931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818463790856029,0.19142390342005114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16933565112151225,0.3535960817555755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003631049719473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20385178006267216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987981154749912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20739527972843774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225104855784016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3244839154481049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4150062833646118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,kitler4420,2019/03/06,"New here, and new diagnosis Hello reddit, I just got diagnosed with cyclothymia, and I have adhd. and have been medicated for two days. I struggled astronomically in the past, and even now. Ive cycled through many abusibe realtionships, addictions, suicidial tendencies among others. I feel really good figuring out that there's a word that describes people like me, or just me in general. However, I sort of am scared about my new diagnosis, and I'm still very VERY afraid of the stigma attached to it. I'm also afraid of telling people if it were to ever come up, or why I don't drink late at night anymore, or why I'm not ""fun."" It has been super disruptive of my ability to make and keep friends, often I find that I seperate myself from those around me. I am also a mom of a beautiful little girl, and I am terrified people won't think I can be a mom, or something worse will happen (Yay, paranoia). If anyone has ideas or things that have helped them cope or manage, or just want to share your story I'd be really happy to chat. (I am also being treated for ADHD as well) ",5.077108680792894,5.9898762631579014,6.323051948051948,76.31886363636364,68.66507177033493,9.416404647983596,28.80416951469583,9.606745405546679,2.6151719753930283,845,29,158,18,14,285,132,209,0.07,0.8059999999999999,0.124,0.8858,1,0,2,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,1,1,16,14,0,4,6,1,20,4,0,1,1,37,31,20,0,3,13,2,1,1,1,2,3,0,0,1,10,11,1,1,5,2,0,1,3,4,1,1,4,1,21,10,24,22,0,19,0,0,0,0,11,8,0,11,11,112,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13262538737657453,0.2924190115124137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29187003804655703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206522365448542,0.08506623697191085,0.0,0.0,0.10830158446408203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479776058726643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845946970701681,0.0,0.0,0.12348050462175525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191787130073304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035408883800638,0.1100468002853494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06151403760700636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119338402824908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09399281782995528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10204111993356428,0.09730117032348096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758193794915512,0.12950740826604887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815449220667587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13733729117886678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10813539145458012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13723574033022973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05943604772015479,0.12193346975654025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120778826341661,0.12334231230558905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255782997095795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849692096552821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35249472159000306,0.0,0.114167972419381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11613651076467453,0.2530274176975368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587470685344848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180107425324754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09365842035834687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715638977649492,0.0,0.0,0.12718355774919665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633462264944757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082429735114867,0.07795365748667178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884237656035172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20076149997188444,0.07175715406078398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938532572455367,0.0,0.21955519223153716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398009182722955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,MentalHealth_Help24,2019/03/06,"Gabapentin good? For those on Gabapentin, or who’ve been on it before, did it work well for you? Also, what’s your daily dosage? Thanks ",1.0223076923076917,3.6190070000000034,0.10653846153846304,105.87596153846157,94.3846153846154,2.6,14.192307692307693,3.1291,-1.6832000000000005,106,2,23,0,4,29,22,26,0.0,0.713,0.287,0.8146,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,3,4,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,15,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3877678774538112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4126072931479413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40670432040033205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4464233144809313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43597605151274255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3530070784262224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,mcCheester,2019/03/06,"What about ketamine? I have major issues with my meds to the point where I stop taking them frequently. &#x200B; I also have an opportunity perhaps to explore ketamine therapy through a very reputable hospital. &#x200B; What should I know?",6.120000000000001,9.900041000000002,5.525000000000002,69.70000000000002,76.5,7.2,38.0,8.238735603445708,4.2448500000000005,200,12,25,4,5,61,32,40,0.057,0.86,0.08199999999999999,0.2406,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,1,5,4,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,21,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635138573813862,0.0,0.4430843471260389,0.4969046491566888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21341260719791466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11237086452230248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271190647068787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19328938027808745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17094531473995722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15373530916994785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338282240457672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687084129658395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4969046491566888,0.0 bipolarreddit,sweetsuss,2019/03/07,Still recovering from psychotic break My first experience of full-blown mania months ago has left me humiliated and isolated. Trying to pick up the pieces. Just wanted to say thank you to this sub for your honesty and support.,6.9026666666666685,9.027464600000004,7.0150000000000015,68.51666666666668,65.5,10.333333333333336,30.833333333333336,10.504223727775694,3.5903333333333336,184,7,30,5,3,59,37,40,0.1,0.722,0.17800000000000002,0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,4,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,2,7,4,1,7,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040796128106573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355538136383776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29178518739806913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3727082650576575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27380706873087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2727950056151126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273947998491406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3892717748742044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31582031426846635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23289808127979966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20233078624692824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,boot-doot,2019/03/07,"Experiences with lamictal After being on 25 mg for two weeks, I've now been on 50 mg of lamictal for almost two weeks. I'm going to move to 75 mg soon, which (according to my psychiatrist) is when I should start to feel something. Just wanted to know what everyone's experiences were. I've had some pretty terrible experiences with medications in the past. Zoloft made me go manic (which is what caused my psychiatrist to realize that I probably have bipolar tendencies). Another one which I've had (I cannot remember the name of it -- it had two names, one started with an ""m"" and the other with a ""r"") caused weight gain. My main worry is any side effects -- particularly weight gain. I've gained the horrid freshmen 15 after starting college. Also, I've gone off of my Dexedrine (which majorly suppresses appetite) -- which I've been taking since I was eleven years old. It's hard to manage my appetite now that I actually feel hunger. I've also heard that lamictal can cause lethargy. I've actually been experiencing issues with insomnia (which I'm now taking ambien for, which I hope doesn't cause weight gain as well) and briefly went off of lamictal because I couldn't sleep. What have been the experiences of people that were made more energetic by lamictal? Did you still get the whole ""brain fog"" or anything? At what dosage did you guys start to notice changes? When should I start worrying about the dreaded rash that I'm always told to fear for? I haven't gotten anything so far, but am I at too low of a dosage to feel safe about not having had any rashes? ",6.210954504906333,7.1085389661016976,6.705263157894738,74.64324710080284,66.11864406779661,10.278322925958967,31.119536128456737,10.307518312809881,3.1839152542372897,1245,46,228,30,19,406,159,295,0.076,0.861,0.063,0.2632,0,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,2,0,5,15,7,0,2,10,0,28,12,4,7,0,35,54,10,0,5,4,0,7,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,20,7,4,2,7,0,0,5,5,4,1,6,20,9,18,3,38,30,5,34,0,1,0,0,7,10,0,4,19,142,38,2,0.0,0.0,0.17483560744507634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08970209286372473,0.0,0.0,0.1432752457070968,0.07453828675054253,0.0,0.0,0.12183584371192573,0.09393313454852373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14743450374072434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05460753995786928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10000164463985103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3680960630704859,0.09476446218169553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559816121697203,0.0,0.35050830557282064,0.0,0.10080314939864694,0.13588402256719848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046802198469804115,0.0,0.10182150894307122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08869893900472392,0.0,0.0,0.08024667751153272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897380979568156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349893710217766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049231188972563886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169526776274735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024309237053288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952100666603278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198817716274312,0.09399983543923147,0.0,0.12140434956335562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551487792343776,0.06210395161469785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09113573785019273,0.09658310455833932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147742708000812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07410204911786478,0.0,0.08964535585344968,0.0,0.0,0.06896356994636195,0.0,0.0,0.3170282673527229,0.0,0.0715392322062603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13470701840153748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08559816121697203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625218699126167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05283699526736384,0.0,0.14371240690071216,0.32725533859832273,0.0805437731369826,0.0830421709318255,0.0,0.1000136097572941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819470207542008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057687009163064185 bipolarreddit,ngunguru,2019/03/07,"Does anyone feel like your meds do nothing? I'm on heaps of meds, and I feel exactly the same as being off them, apart from the occasional side effect. Then I think, if they don't have any effect, do I even have bipolar? Probably sounds silly, but it's what I think sometimes. Does anyone else feel this way about medication? If interested, I'm taking Lithium (900), Latuda (20), Lamictal (100), Abilify (15), Wellbutrin (150 - I think), ADHD meds, and side effect meds. Thanks!",3.1636781609195417,5.806783298850579,4.320229885057471,81.306091954023,78.08045977011494,7.085057471264367,23.459770114942533,8.167268648758528,1.6440252873563224,365,12,65,7,9,119,62,87,0.0,0.87,0.13,0.8759,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,2,3,2,4,0,0,2,0,6,2,0,3,1,16,16,7,0,2,3,0,3,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,9,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,8,4,6,15,1,7,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,2,33,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18607494192734214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528935284060632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21652073882144124,0.15864109480930372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709846352167525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129340159706761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022634085029167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23485930513695355,0.1106102084139279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564186111373297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.687922575016635,0.15597440793358927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14856305775850925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16693236184794058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15313031049859685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164124969998236,0.0,0.0,0.14254617927673305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29762542896580296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289643113339202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,rowennalunamoth,2019/03/07,"oh, i'm the science witch the format of this reddit thing is all new to me...but i do like this dark mode. [The Science Witch](https://www.michellelmead.wordpress.com) is my blog, and it's full of rambling weirdness couched in philosophy and science lessons, all as an excuse to talk about my mental health journey through coping with bipolar and ptsd while i write a book. kinda messy, but scary-fun at the same time.",7.3559459459459475,8.897757297297296,5.49010810810811,82.06164864864867,63.864864864864856,7.0010810810810815,31.016216216216225,6.742157984588678,1.6186140540540541,336,12,59,2,5,96,58,74,0.069,0.889,0.042,-0.2272,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,6,0,3,2,0,0,2,11,4,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,10,4,4,7,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,4,36,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42999759902885104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19763344179134013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4076721607865629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3906986176083911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4728751601135315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3251467418880011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687524604779122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358853136757929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,3Floo7floo6,2019/03/07,"Has CBD made anyone here /worse/? I’ve been smoking weed really heavily for a few months, and during my last manic episode it was giving me symptoms of psychosis like hearing voices and eventually started giving me 3 hour long panic attacks where I’m /convinced/ I’m dying. I finally decided to quit weed and threw all my weed out. I bought CBD oil at a hippy grocery store here and decided to try that since it’s literally proven to not make you intoxicated, calm anxiety, and there’s even studies showing it to be an antipsychotic. Last night I took it for the first time and I did feel great for the first hour or so. I was estatic that I finally found something that can help me sleep with out making me psychotic. Until I ended up having another panic attack. I became very anxious that every little ache I felt or inch I felt was a sign that I was going to drop dead from cancer anytime soon. I was shaking so hard and would stand up to do something but become so distracted that I’d just walk back and forth a few times and then lay back down in bed. I even heard voices like I usually do when I get really high on strong sativa. I honestly, definitely felt high, and CBD isn’t supposed to make you high at all! It’s just supposed to be like a muscle relaxer. I’m honestly so confused about why I had this reaction. I’m not manic anymore, I have definitely crashed into depression and have been depressed for a week or so now. The fact that I’m not manic and *supposedly* wasn’t high when this ‘panic attack’ happened is really concerning to me? Especially because I was still hearing voices? (I say *supposedly* because since there’s not any regulation laws on CBD, technically the manufacturer could leave traces of THC in it and not tell you, so I guess theoretically I could have been high. But I bought really expensive CBD from a really reputable store, so I’m hesitant to think that it would be spiked with THC) I don’t have any of these symptoms during the day when I’m completely sober. I thought CBD was safe, everyone says it calms you down and relaxes you. Why tf did I have the opposite reaction? What are your experiences with CBD?",4.322095655348669,6.145133891566267,5.6639430449068975,76.85373859072656,71.5301204819277,9.078495801387367,28.961299744432274,9.573946990214177,2.82913654618474,1715,68,315,42,33,575,206,415,0.104,0.774,0.122,0.9159,0,0,2,0,0,0,41.0,0,6,0,4,25,24,3,6,14,0,35,5,1,4,3,57,67,31,2,4,12,0,5,3,0,2,4,8,1,0,20,20,0,1,9,3,5,5,8,11,0,2,25,14,39,13,37,35,4,56,0,2,0,0,15,21,0,5,31,200,59,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587885543609904,0.08163059794651611,0.05955363988440175,0.08794627780297169,0.07720446999065256,0.05443325318776058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656906087065274,0.0,0.11972088075693638,0.0,0.09491104838722106,0.08597719175213889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08162232911571297,0.0,0.0,0.12431086444656868,0.0,0.0,0.050205631888356736,0.0,0.1341010360600529,0.0,0.08079411377262674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895037543300228,0.0,0.0,0.10283596919504727,0.0,0.06559044399866037,0.07438726618511984,0.0,0.07615045187901485,0.0,0.0,0.03936237575395817,0.0,0.22423936524288346,0.17055773843914118,0.0,0.1324352337471078,0.0,0.0853565044257343,0.0,0.0,0.04067245775055076,0.14935812384095265,0.044242911187775714,0.0,0.0,0.0858278864531067,0.08575854013182105,0.0,0.06884088300214798,0.0,0.06973667279360066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17548109943235665,0.0,0.05217998993539321,0.4112543489550332,0.0,0.0,0.15332953976370547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12691330382408927,0.0,0.08242997567526038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11409805638044075,0.07802432160613312,0.0,0.06889318408219107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366182434859123,0.15589278155633854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062137669619796373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07305523754024165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27401417591794497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280111536746564,0.0,0.0,0.24935766779372825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238159848203456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128793627672004,0.0,0.07790439482954872,0.0,0.0,0.11986265503233735,0.0,0.0,0.05510133810467517,0.0,0.06216965216480653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16182812024278484,0.0,0.0,0.06804273520660875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04988196640560361,0.0,0.061802754279300286,0.09078779237343253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864921855080806,0.05285379992827437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573876514394735,0.064232896313097,0.0,0.0,0.06244510930047813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14049173670833706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933393986737436,0.11060221820201027,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,bowzergrl,2019/03/07,I lost weight on Zyprexa :O Guysssss I started really committing to a diet after weight gain from all my meds and I'm actually losing weight on zyprexa! I legit didn't think it would be possible with all the hunger and it's notorious reputation. Anyway I am feeling really in control after feeling completely helpless (depakote weight gain like woah) with my physical and mental state and just wanted to share with you all! ❤️❤️,3.926203703703704,6.611168333333339,5.257515432098766,75.40256944444448,75.54320987654322,8.494444444444445,29.878086419753085,9.188382445141503,3.188393827160493,349,16,58,9,8,116,56,81,0.171,0.6409999999999999,0.188,-0.182,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,5,2,5,0,0,2,0,4,6,0,1,4,18,11,4,0,2,1,0,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,7,6,1,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,6,7,2,11,7,3,7,0,3,0,0,2,3,0,0,4,35,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.15900502070030728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17083850692423427,0.0,0.1827500135175338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647737714826457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07960379553883278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18228713267369268,0.17786723440141122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18098856638995867,0.0,0.16420425126427013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836893108584781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20876587138599015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532910703865172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044047720213564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096105680633374,0.0,0.0,0.793663528057677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574723500816113,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,hbkmr,2019/03/07,"In a bout of mania and can’t sleep. This just made it for me. “Everybody hurts.” (Post in comments) https://youtu.be/sSOCIxu2FPI “Everybody hurts” To have to wake up everyday and value your worth and self is a struggle on its own. I applaud every person with a mental illness and it’s an ABSOLUTE struggle to make your every day life “normal.” I hate that word (normal) but it is used so frequently. An illness that is not apparent to every day society is still an illness. I am so thankful that people have an outlet to a place like Reddit for emotional support. I appreciate you guys and I hope you guys understand the impact that this community has had on a lot of different people. Just keep humble and amazing and keep humanity going. Everybody hurts and you are worth it. Keep swimming with this. I’ll swim with you. All the way.",2.9310394265232986,5.80003870967742,4.440591397849467,78.56310931899644,81.25806451612901,7.315412186379928,25.38530465949821,8.344100000000001,2.2290358422939067,660,26,113,15,18,219,91,155,0.128,0.6809999999999999,0.191,0.9252,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,6,0,0,5,11,1,2,11,0,11,6,2,3,1,28,23,11,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,5,12,11,0,3,1,2,2,3,2,6,0,0,2,0,12,5,17,21,3,16,0,3,0,0,12,6,0,2,6,81,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16924009169273835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13708725332758706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475943755169166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316520180799192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745700638010426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598384411829968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12954340029334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13032182967933295,0.0,0.0,0.42139130004391856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34987829321321445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267799682594632,0.06410291965759599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115506438629828,0.0,0.12415473561543898,0.08758416022429467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322295231650653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257117252038135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18192995496832184,0.11456812103860575,0.13708725332758706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566357933055106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688137469397518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130545745882513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047850334428077,0.0,0.0,0.2743398222758793,0.0,0.0,0.14889634592389342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080118261414292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13659496470039734,0.0,0.11332391543349235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414894524215816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,dinerdrive,2019/03/07,"rant went manic, got taken off of an antidepressant and put back on an antipsychotic a few weeks ago, and was subsequently in a depressive slump. so i slacked off and didn't do any of my coursework then last week seemed to get better. i was still procrastinating but managed to get some work done. was feeling really stable. able to get back on top of hobbies like cooking/baking and reading. disordered eating was getting back in check (i was bingeing for the month before). made time to watch a bunch of movies. the academic quarter is ending next week. i'm feeling better so naturally i decide to catch up on the coursework i missed. it's a shit ton of work so for the past few days i've been getting something like 5 hours of sleep. well i guess the stress and the lack of sleep is enough to send me manic again despite being on risperdal. fuck this. i miss the euphoric, godlike, powerful mania. i just can't sleep and can't focus. when i wasn't getting sleep for the past few days i was fucking exhausted the whole time and now i feel wired as hell. i hate this brain",2.724228753702441,5.16771428229665,3.478988380041013,87.84625199362043,78.42583732057416,6.086215538847117,24.306447938026885,7.2636822038024595,1.0719567555251772,851,30,166,11,21,269,125,209,0.16899999999999998,0.69,0.141,-0.8582,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,6,12,15,5,1,15,0,16,10,6,1,0,18,37,14,0,1,2,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,7,1,0,5,1,1,4,4,10,1,1,14,4,14,5,26,22,9,37,1,3,1,2,1,10,4,3,25,105,17,6,0.10998920892071368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749879733909693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479643375677096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25372473729401673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935927157035032,0.0,0.0,0.1945530342242316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278433277087608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186788114726742,0.0,0.09473354447464408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12605716244131607,0.0,0.0,0.11255714816357652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254641956199947,0.0,0.0,0.09741779257694354,0.1136482547839381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16684154650879932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20336650260939884,0.34478893214332085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796841807934823,0.0,0.12116551391922505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085915726729484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831721514796454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965588533454195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074703434182418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407444890859308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779233720225141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697477148754876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099942909064513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056953418866727,0.0,0.0,0.11001897356270594,0.0,0.07046190366926643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013004489562907,0.0,0.0,0.11290234236970947,0.0,0.0,0.4402745672479557,0.0,0.0,0.0846750666137275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783752432293519,0.0,0.12599226720393147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282711844629119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646801268481649,0.0,0.09889350799268966,0.10196109860423214,0.0,0.12279902381887894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601469081188709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,completedisaster1989,2019/03/07,"Unable to hold a job for long So I’m 30 and the longest I’ve ever held a job was for 2 and a half years. When I was younger I didn’t even know why I kept quitting my jobs but now I have a better idea. Sometimes, during periods of mania I would just randomly say “fuck it” and quit a job. Then during depressive periods I would get suicidal and lose all motivation and drive and then I would quit a job. Then during other times I would quit my job in a fit of blind rage. I don’t do well working with the public for long and I almost inevitably have a confrontation at some point. The point is whether it was from impulsive mania, suicidal depression or simply blind rage I have never been able to hold down a job for long. I have never once given a two weeks notice. Every single time I’ve just walked out or just never came back. This has happened at nearly 15 jobs by now I’m not proud of any of this, in fact I find it quite painful. My reckless actions have really damaged my life.",2.475711388003475,4.111220940886703,3.8897189220515775,88.44376992176181,76.04433497536945,6.943958272964357,22.77861489423356,7.724431198458867,0.9500376122862932,773,22,163,11,17,255,115,203,0.279,0.665,0.056,-0.9955,8,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,10,11,12,4,0,13,0,18,5,0,1,6,39,28,16,2,4,8,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,0,6,10,0,4,4,0,0,4,6,9,1,2,9,3,17,3,20,15,3,34,0,4,2,1,2,10,1,5,20,108,23,10,0.0823660818708903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247773323782083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05601176012550272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0633344328038998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284610600615639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420485508572032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14188357124639153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05440202026270408,0.0745048365993999,0.06939697639620691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752811066426066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614611546027693,0.043032878242878526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283605418026562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298128079829236,0.0,0.0,0.6538850156954563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04526624453710952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05817759947983885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21867417163889,0.0,0.0921465771857318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19057740014013685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09377433012872352,0.0,0.0877171890543875,0.0,0.0,0.08764331835118735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15572514087684594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4380323335555541,0.0,0.0,0.052765821150556606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655008142361876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146216106557053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801902500214161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605664941880117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045969372807052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606910263135815,0.0,0.07405699937070305,0.0,0.07432257766397887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059963488577308675,0.0,0.0,0.23404200545097084,0.0,0.0,0.053041056246782535 bipolarreddit,pickleb1tch,2019/03/08,"Hypomania and False Hope r/Bipolar: “Is there anyone present who is making their first post or has been diagnosed in the last 30 days? If so, please introduce yourself.” Me: *stands up* Hey everyone, I’m pickleb1tch, and I have been diagnosed with bipolar 2. I’ve been trying to manage, but it’s getting hard. I’m on meds, but they’re being adjusted and that’s a process. I used to love my hypomania. With the small caveat of mild insomnia, loss of appetite, and wanting to do everything at once thus getting nothing done, it’s a pretty good time. The world seems beautiful and I feel euphoric. I become more creative and productive. Being around people makes me happy and I seek company. Conversations become more meaningful and memorable. Lately, I feel as if being hypomanic contributed to me doing things “normal” me wouldn’t do. Hypomania let me feel capable and as if I mattered a bit more than I did. Think very mild delusions. Among the things I wouldn’t normally do: A friend (A) had confided in me about troubles regarding her friend (B). I hadn’t been present in either of their lives for almost 2 years for various reasons. So I went ahead and made a long but gentle text to B about maybe considering talking to a professional about problems A mentioned - without telling A that I texted B. A texted me, clearly upset, and I hadn’t grasped the gravity or the sensitivity of the topic. It was something between the two of them and I had breached their trust. I was way out of line. I had been absent for 2 years and thought I could butt in and fix things like a glowing ethereal fairy whose words of wisdom would magically make all things well. I thought I had a connection with them that had clearly been far weaker than I perceived, but thought I was doing a good thing. Writing that text felt like I was genuinely helping, like it would change things: more so than I normally would and looking back at the text I sent to B makes my insides curdle. Like Reggae says, “it wasn’t me”. You might think “ok, it’s just one text to your friends what’s the big deal?” For me, a lot was at stake. I hadn’t been there for a long while and was still testing the waters. I had no friends when I came back, and I desperately needed friends. It felt like I kinda had to make good impressions else I’d lose them forever. I know this is super mild compared to the severity of others’ mania, but for me it’s new and scary. When I realized what I had done with some semblance of sanity, I just sobbed and screamed in the car for this to “go away, leave me alone, make it stop.” So please, if you’ve made it this far, a bit of advice about grounding yourself during mania would be greatly appreciated. ",3.7678433268858815,5.8033036421663455,4.489985493230176,83.79965909090909,73.50676982591875,7.794777562862669,28.384429400386853,8.575989854853784,2.1636038684719527,2121,86,408,40,44,679,251,517,0.087,0.6859999999999999,0.227,0.9981,0,1,1,0,0,0,67.0,0,2,6,5,19,30,0,1,29,1,51,7,1,11,3,96,85,39,0,18,15,0,6,5,5,7,4,2,0,0,28,26,1,1,19,0,0,5,8,7,1,3,38,10,55,23,58,34,11,48,0,3,2,2,27,20,2,13,25,279,83,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390066080511813,0.0,0.0,0.07572831898753273,0.07832552581507145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05287932082802742,0.0,0.0,0.06732299952272426,0.0,0.0,0.07105293268843961,0.11630315097139067,0.0,0.0,0.16704551869688564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16512758299889851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649577329599042,0.0,0.0,0.08000207343745841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06038105109026985,0.0,0.0,0.0487723874750004,0.07796688362438724,0.0,0.15351719912229342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15478290925107602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317565548972565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226369698233089,0.06796759661985849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471603702614674,0.0,0.1452252638786844,0.0,0.0,0.06432727059406007,0.0,0.0,0.2921415444297685,0.0,0.07902272292405849,0.0,0.04297988744112696,0.19029401008063526,0.0,0.08337771633986836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08050507504602618,0.06774586632571779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05069038256962602,0.0,0.0,0.07511348770847016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04156196431574557,0.061645124232331726,0.08530920139785121,0.08007680736154647,0.0,0.07733250880987723,0.0,0.1847347401285554,0.0,0.06677897081923154,0.13385291418759718,0.06350662885527497,0.0846059307984296,0.0,0.0642943545013999,0.0682552411047148,0.14311792936832213,0.30288487010894977,0.0,0.07597628532455288,0.0,0.08400322007756131,0.0,0.0,0.08022702742771604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05607557571576608,0.0,0.07303987314927646,0.0,0.0,0.222291694316944,0.07256499896652888,0.0,0.0,0.08053901353285882,0.0512460022765291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052429410598133636,0.0,0.0,0.16602884646932295,0.0,0.0,0.07242861571751394,0.07693863104808922,0.0,0.07236368132831324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777559223890354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06014067506096993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06884689202440902,0.0,0.08543563294908578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582204389740508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06039486508825586,0.06322655878255602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06078515692677505,0.06610028639287371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3014545443035791,0.09691592365410548,0.0,0.1801153236414887,0.04409801471559435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05134495698331742,0.0,0.07387542204523732,0.0,0.0,0.06531641360418405,0.0,0.06239920880968777,0.04460605883553228,0.0600282434458299,0.0,0.0,0.06799668045474874,0.07010587834663119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290057673400717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21488960655802425,0.0,0.0,0.0974010770958026 bipolarreddit,ANNAGRAM_,2019/03/08,"Any mothers feel like extreme shit and guilty ALL the time!? I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old and some days it's hard for me to even get up and do my dishes. I'm irritable with them and angry. I try not to yell at them, so I end up walking away screaming into a pillow from the stress. I feel like a failure as a mother and like I can't do this. My thoughts are constant, ""How can I be a mother when I'm ""not normal."" ""What if they have bipolar too?"" I want to protect them from this pain and I can't even help myself. I feel so guilty. Like I'm a bad mom. Or I don't do enough. I'm on meds. I see a therapist. Nothing works. I'm cycling through mania lately and now that the mania is ending I feel the depression coming on FULL FORCE. This time of year is always bad for me. How do you cope? I lost my passion for every artistic thing that helps me like producing music and drawing. I can't stop thinking negatively, even with nightly meditation. (oh and side note. I recently, in November, got the Nexplanon birth control implant in my arm and I've had my period for over TWO MONTHS. as If I wasn't already an emotional mess.. I feel like a 15 year old again going through crazy ass hormones I can't control) HELP!!!!!!! :'(",0.8244050480769225,2.8302521015625004,2.8617187500000014,92.08256009615386,82.671875,5.500961538461539,22.73677884615385,6.67199483983844,0.5421753605769228,942,33,208,10,26,317,144,256,0.201,0.69,0.109,-0.979,0,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,1,4,5,11,16,1,1,15,0,18,7,3,5,1,37,37,21,0,4,5,4,6,6,0,0,2,2,1,0,8,15,1,4,7,1,0,3,9,9,0,1,5,9,32,7,26,31,4,38,0,2,1,2,12,12,2,4,29,132,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884348986042274,0.0,0.08961039928736797,0.0,0.0,0.07323591055344157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118246918970687,0.0,0.17984071395784554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276922205723827,0.0,0.11637942787318285,0.2415769383778193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945400290001806,0.0,0.09275706128071193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114174700152475,0.19077061258506625,0.11127714255705108,0.0,0.21339348099178235,0.0,0.09073720848343524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722677174790253,0.2308107831747208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056265898711111206,0.0,0.06120523069551575,0.0,0.08613307980614378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647306272760234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21655593422395625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148401642879662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156843740700476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756120039985732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196242421773664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261304236934178,0.17192134522161304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106393424675064,0.10551768313339632,0.10333571739223256,0.0,0.33902158825491546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459447460662622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633526475564901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581852350474115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054679256433897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003737205386361,0.12336361438538702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504154257743802,0.07154739897657715,0.06900624708991772,0.0,0.08549735385242895,0.12559498521624934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07311745386769385,0.0,0.10520181690100723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352096955084338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784028331921783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20805506070041024 bipolarreddit,bunny1888,2019/03/08,"Rapid cycling. Please help. Hi guys I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 but they seem to think it’s something else as I don’t fit the category properly. My GP put me on antidepressants. I’m cycling between moods in a matter of days and I don’t know what to do. When I go to my GP I’m not being heard and I feel like no one takes me seriously. I last visited my GP exactly a month ago when she started me on these antidepressants, I asked if I can be referred again for an assessment. I was referred to SPA and then they contacted me and over the telephone asked me what’s going on (I told them everything) but at the time I was good (manic) so she was like ok that’s good let’s leave you on the medication for now. I don’t know if that’s what my GP referred me to or if I should be waiting on another referral? I’m just so confused and sick and tired of all these moods. I can’t be productive or do anything when I’m like this. I’m just feeling so down and depressed, I have no idea where my time even goes. I’ll be going back to my GP next week but what should I say? I feel like everything is just overwhelming right now and everything is making it worse. Sorry if this is repetitive or doesn’t make sense ",1.1734251968503957,3.1628857440944915,3.192085039370081,90.27299370078742,81.3228346456693,7.0561259842519695,23.54582677165355,8.109356740369918,1.2651693228346454,945,34,213,19,25,319,131,254,0.132,0.742,0.126,-0.5842,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,3,0,15,13,0,2,7,1,24,5,0,2,2,43,48,26,0,6,14,0,3,4,0,2,5,2,0,1,12,9,0,1,11,1,0,5,8,4,0,1,6,5,35,7,22,34,1,35,0,2,0,0,17,12,0,9,22,139,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856552130905115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025352444919195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006876792966104,0.0,0.2500852834661284,0.0,0.0,0.10284915153582064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862607526672086,0.0,0.11520277575348392,0.1357582622999394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173493599388244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834375517623827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3606304516719889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20289127125357545,0.19110884949300386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280477314417232,0.22437428754854208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13243823779658964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965299383151955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150992839367931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14701623233193378,0.10902797853129848,0.0,0.1416269744378351,0.0,0.13677330065096416,0.0,0.261383271187017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17856467713074914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13474384542786602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676177051827987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14224970091879094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063568458330527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14682255680279369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13446047356238822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422583120045594,0.0,0.10636715086651076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176530681151598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297094619555257,0.0,0.14972749920319342,0.09467230506029974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056693087942267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570464716460753,0.0,0.0,0.15598694824798626,0.15373141644090846,0.0,0.1278084017397367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728999767642716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630752382984834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,TheBurgundyPhone,2019/03/08,"My doctor put me on a leave. I've been stable for a long time without meds. It's been about 11 years. Well that changed. Last week I started having some derealization, depersonalization and sensory sensitivity. The mental illness was hard to hide. I run myself hard. 1.5 jobs with complex advocacy/legal-y components. For the last five years, I went to school part time while I worked one or two jobs full time. I over commit myself constantly. And that is through hypo-mania and depression. I push. I always push myself. And I may have just run myself down. So now I'm off work with an unknown return date and waiting for her to call in drugs for me. Lithium is on the top of the list. I've never been on it before, and I've heard good and bad things. It just sort of is what it is. I'm trying to treat this like a vacation for now. I do what I want, when I want. I almost feel like I have a free pass to eat all the cookies because I'm crazy (in a comedic, not dangerous to self and others kind of sense). This is very surreal for me. I have been in this same general zone before when I was a teenager, but I was in the US then and they still made me go to school and perform. I still needed to maintain my GPA (which didn't happen). So it's strange that this is taken so seriously now. I'm pleased about it, but it it's still hard to conceptualize. And that's it... Thank you for reading. Going to go get a snack now.... Because... Well, I can... 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Everyday was a new adventure, lots of alcohol, house parties, clubs, gigs, meeting friends, 4 am walks. So many new environments and experiences, and we pretty much left the house for 14 hours a day and wandered around. And it wasn't all alcohol. Just walking around the streets for hours, talking to new people, watching a new film, going to a new cafe all in a day. Sadly it ended sour. And of course it's not really a healthy way to live. But it felt great to have someone who matched my energy in that state. &#x200B; I'm now coming out of a depressive episode. I don't know what I am right now, but I am longing for someone to sweep me off my feet and have a 7 day bender with me. I'm this close to redownloading tinder and going out with anyone. As awful as it sounds, I don't even really want to hang out with my existing friends like this. I specifically want someone new, and someone who's going to spend an unhealthy amount of time with me and probably kill their liver with alcohol. I don't know, it just seems more exciting? The idea of watching TV with a friend feels like a band aid. I can't be quiet. I want to dance! I may be in my PJs but if someone I didn't really know invited me.... anywhere right now, I would jump out of bed. &#x200B; Anyone else feel like they need someone new when (hypo)manic? I really don't think I can be alone if I keep going up and I'm probably going to hang out with anyone I can.",3.6014195583596234,5.199734037854891,4.877597476340696,82.67710283911674,72.97476340694006,8.352757097791798,27.50649842271293,8.954980946260402,2.176294738170347,1258,47,250,26,25,417,156,317,0.097,0.785,0.118,0.8141,0,1,3,0,0,0,52.0,2,0,2,0,10,13,1,0,15,1,20,5,2,0,2,56,45,20,1,7,8,0,3,3,3,2,3,2,2,1,12,29,3,1,9,5,2,13,8,3,0,0,6,8,29,10,43,34,7,57,0,2,2,0,14,18,0,5,27,150,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207302569142636,0.0,0.07130496821869868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14919189234428334,0.16731384307121674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925583391535092,0.14108424857706467,0.0,0.12257726434392124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05930579347348616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320230548081852,0.0,0.059298019294882987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11502605466131552,0.0,0.060978211845949315,0.0,0.0,0.04547294685184329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734580279922263,0.0,0.0,0.06962245738072863,0.09836895136023943,0.06610413857846806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595735999789574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956373401991958,0.0,0.0,0.07590431537987836,0.0,0.06816958297122436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560130890132885,0.15888092225025716,0.0,0.0777201438391381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06119458237315745,0.07616926068642478,0.0,0.11350991316565183,0.056119682293640484,0.0,0.0,0.07480271807389959,0.0,0.0,0.1009058385757166,0.0,0.060793366433123476,0.06092763305963204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05853145391182184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0698002863720191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054953203052118114,0.0,0.1012212730982892,0.05104934952748882,0.0,0.5319446787657358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954600027901929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14008477018403995,0.14845791919692514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764211968001547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175903184310878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267593350534582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3500042131446051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055336796500615404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04411452578280732,0.0,0.0,0.04014537413035935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121823642083371,0.05464772750118695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04890709767568576,0.0,0.16731384307121674,0.0 bipolarreddit,zefcashi,2019/03/08,"SO in need of help We have been together with break ups for 7 years. 2 years ago we moved for a fresh start but I feel it was to get me away from friends and family as all I have is him now. He also now has little support. I am scared for my safety and though I love him I can't do this to myself no more. I want children and a house and this feels like it'll never happen. We have moved countless times from him damaging the houses or putting us in financial debt that we are then kicked out. We have been homeless from him not being able to accept help and choosing drugs. My jobs have been comprised from him going into work and abusing me having police show up or I become sick from no sleep or malnourished or crazy depressed. He is in and out of work for his family but really is just a pay cheque and he never goes to work so has no routine. Especially now days. I've had many police involvements and hospitalized from them and other times. This past year and a half has been nothing but a downward spiral and I feel I am an enabler and he does better without me because he has to stand on his own two feet when I'm not there. I feel like a mother more than a partner. Our current house is trashed inside and out. Actual mess and filth to house damage aswell. He recently got out of hospital but his mania is still very high up. He spent all our pay on material things, drugs and the likes and we now have to paid rent that I'm aware of for 2 weeks. He goes out at all hours night driving around and from this his car has been in multiple crashes but won't tell me any details so we can't get insurance. It's still half drivable but suspended and I'm worried of him driving my car. I have most of my belongings in my car as he has said he will light the house in fire before being hospitalized and did try. I am extremely mentally drainage from all this and the way I am spoken to constantly. I am walking on egg shells and get no sleep as he hardly sleeps and does many OCD things to wake me up like flicking lights, rummaging through draws. Half organising or cleaning at inappropriate hours of the night. Physically waking me up to harrass me when his not driving around. I know his taken his meds and the hospital and docs just won't believe me that he isn't fine and his meds currently don't work anymore. I am sorry for the mess of this post. Hard to put 7 years of a very stressful realtionships in words and currently what's happening. How do I get out? I feel I have spent majority of the years trying so hard to help and also been a bad guy and an enabler which makes it hard too. But it gets harder and harder to see a future and happiness. I am scared he will try to hurt himself or follow me if I try. Any advice I'd be so greatful for. ",2.9835283687943246,4.4926155443262425,4.152609929078015,87.6136666666667,74.40780141843972,7.353758865248227,24.41276595744681,8.021203637495839,1.220697446808511,2173,67,461,33,45,710,254,564,0.147,0.764,0.08900000000000001,-0.9868,6,0,2,0,0,0,34.0,10,0,1,7,23,22,0,3,20,0,51,11,6,2,6,88,82,60,0,3,20,1,10,4,2,5,3,1,2,3,19,48,1,0,8,1,8,13,16,10,0,4,15,14,62,12,73,59,9,80,0,4,1,1,51,30,0,8,37,312,81,7,0.06878707001778228,0.08150142982614332,0.0671262576832135,0.0,0.0,0.0672179287097459,0.06097558719645445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001799008227316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09355513284246343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821828982054585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224701520431148,0.0,0.0,0.06462771661358588,0.0,0.05743433022701406,0.0419319594243391,0.07596991450901976,0.058532730178031435,0.07749947239527173,0.0,0.06083657350877586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433438563490256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044361969549149546,0.0,0.0592462026116348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039205704089205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15954232554250475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969265544061528,0.0,0.17390404710594198,0.09828299313002026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05314471966203374,0.0,0.17969202501337753,0.0,0.03909327708975629,0.0,0.055015303711654376,0.07583798753429466,0.0,0.06811001400534683,0.12165635768787506,0.07322511512429879,0.2464788143137521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13831956919114133,0.07267731614599801,0.0,0.0,0.13548281573486334,0.3968552163585679,0.07363798114205722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682605529736239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03780357474448056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13442355136629225,0.06894271516951163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062083016317568414,0.0,0.04591590337722215,0.13947858488095002,0.0,0.0,0.15281385570970565,0.0,0.06932118768639127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621953873291688,0.0,0.051004740820386175,0.10610565797213636,0.0,0.0,0.1291040108955459,0.0,0.06600304887959961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566504175118343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587899857464137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830000896819022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044066758446985,0.0,0.06791893310860027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06543225566744608,0.0,0.13773571417837507,0.0,0.05481438891219488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20651024165128665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700149320453781,0.04868784220369266,0.0,0.10986688594416323,0.0,0.07879535629811975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805875189251997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601229311083813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913981455982847,0.0,0.0675829470414405,0.0,0.08022058739666524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18680762096084386,0.0,0.0671949722551769,0.0,0.0827423757028493,0.0,0.0,0.1135130734588412,0.040572396108018084,0.05459997440555518,0.05517683839616337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630828082482422,0.0,0.2003112248919816,0.06985660860689523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22148308909386272 bipolarreddit,Eggsandbake,2019/03/09,DBT self study workbook recommendations? I'd like to do some DBT work on my own. Does anyone have some materials they would recommend?,3.96125,7.20510929166667,4.738333333333333,75.34,81.08333333333334,8.200000000000001,24.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,2.454266666666668,109,4,19,3,3,35,22,24,0.0,0.797,0.203,0.6553,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,1,10,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36768959205799495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4601786901300075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569058761466021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5485807773147197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3828282336675258,0.0,0.0,0.373551846617819,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,winningwriters,2019/03/09,"Supporting and promoting writing and poetry from the Bipolar community Hey there writers and poets of /r/BipolarReddit, I'm from a writers' resource website called [Winning Writers](https://winningwriters.com/). Part of our mission is to find and promote voices and themes underrepresented in publishing, including (but of course not limited to) racial, cultural, national, religious, gender/sexual identity, body positive, neurodiverse, and [dis]abled. We are interested primarily in the representation of the voices/themes in the poetry, rather than the identity of the writer. At this time of year we're offering two contests: [The Tom Howard/John H. Reid Fiction and Essay Contest]( https://winningwriters.com/our-contests/tom-howard-john-h-reid-fiction-essay-contest), with two first prizes of $2000 each, ten honorable mentions receiving $100 each, and the top twelve entries published online. The contest is international. The deadline is April 30. [The Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest](https://winningwriters.com/our-contests/wergle-flomp-humor-poetry-contest-free), with a first prize of $1000, a second prize of $250, and ten honorable mentions of $100 each. The top twelve entries will be published online. The contest is international and the deadline is April 1. Since I started doing outreach on Reddit last year we've received hundreds more entries featuring diverse characters and voices. We're working hard to increase the diversity of our entry pool and give good writers the exposure they deserve. I know /r/BipolarReddit isn't technically a ""writers' subreddit,"" but in the past some of our strongest entries have come from subs like this one, which ostensibly have nothing to do with writing. So, if you are a writer, please consider entering our contests. And if you know any writers, please consider passing this information on to them.",12.713453832752617,13.977227198606277,11.058586672473867,47.72669533972129,52.275261324041814,13.307404181184669,46.50892857142857,12.602617957971056,6.722756271777003,1534,82,182,44,16,478,160,287,0.004,0.838,0.158,0.9862,0,0,0,0,0,0,98.0,5,2,2,14,3,11,0,0,22,0,14,2,1,0,0,35,21,18,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,4,21,0,1,4,1,0,6,2,0,0,8,0,3,11,11,31,19,7,26,0,0,0,0,21,10,0,3,11,117,15,6,0.18303155081097644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12446773097077955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033067914414853,0.0,0.0,0.18689567753219066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576654743025684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16728752154510915,0.311373087236211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17558054155351005,0.0,0.1535181809471367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16396031846622633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20117870727426632,0.1491951428066132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941997044550329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17562370939135524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240269157232841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19820533323386794,0.17472432570074034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4018273588946087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15140559022669736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295506737222311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20770203483828809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672716917862186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35759045923561444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324914888564005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23573263559430985 bipolarreddit,ironically-spiders,2019/03/09,"Meds while pregnant? I'm 28F and my SO and I are at the point where marriage is likely and then kids. It sort of hit me the other day, and I can't find a definitive answer anywhere online, do you have to completely come off all mental health medications when pregnant? Right now I take a handful (lamictal, cymbalta, ativan, and trazodone), BP2. I just know if I have to get off them... well, I'd likely be dead in a month, it's nasty. I don't believe I could do that. Does it just depend what ones you're on?",1.5230769230769212,3.5167805384615427,3.3294615384615405,89.71553846153847,80.15384615384616,6.083076923076924,21.93846153846154,7.1686216300943375,0.6495530769230773,392,12,84,5,10,131,77,104,0.08800000000000001,0.89,0.022,-0.8095,0,0,0,0,1,1,20.0,0,1,1,0,7,3,0,0,5,0,10,3,1,1,1,16,16,10,1,2,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,1,11,3,8,13,1,15,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,3,8,57,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836024624287547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21683466068115406,0.2639238371279787,0.0,0.0,0.20097809445576395,0.0,0.0,0.16233870261929453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22028204049904726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23006769954475745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13151341344025047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675667981911184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13833883708862862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459555465194661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796043923464763,0.2535816159300663,0.25367475311413695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20092065950480484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17057211989594284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23795694909818285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149676726591055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18926226100013988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263266872695279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,uhohimout,2019/03/09,"I won't be able to take my Latuda for the weekend. How bad is this? So, I was going to refill my 80mg Latuda prescription today when I discovered I didn't in fact have any refills remaining. Normally, that's not a problem and my doctor's office will send a new scrip right over, but I realized this after they'd closed for the day. That means I'll miss three doses before I can get it refilled. How bad is this?",2.4575083056478384,3.94292581395349,4.294451827242527,86.15569767441862,75.74418604651162,7.239867109634551,22.75083056478405,7.957251820313856,1.1139388704318942,324,9,67,5,7,110,65,86,0.119,0.86,0.021,-0.8239,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,10,2,0,2,1,11,15,6,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,2,1,0,2,3,4,0,1,2,0,10,0,7,9,0,12,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,6,44,16,1,0.27500482736386794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870127129247864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4592350877790336,0.0,0.0,0.2340088530240377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17735536306796112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814790937592172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14367867189195022,0.0,0.15629158087961972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29956087742695875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26560137593156946,0.0,0.0,0.2694463417630997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631424795740355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348526199678949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067694054045835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606724208704941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Eira_Grey,2019/03/10,"Anxiety Overload I don't know what is going on with me lately but my anxiety is out of control. I have Ativan but I've been trying to avoid it. My big thing is the overwhelming sense of dread I get about my cats being hurt or sick or anything beong wrong. I have two and they are like my children. I'd no joke die for them. They have gotten me through so much. And to feel needed, to have someone rely on me, makes me feel so much better. Riggt now my momma's boy, Fred has a cough and it scares me to tears. The vet said it might be bronchitis but that was two weeks ago and I'm in a panic. Then tonight I was almost in tears again because it looked like he was limping and he made a weird jump that morning. I have wood floors and they slip sometimes.. I just can't get it out of my head that something bad is going to happen. I can't lose either of them it would crush me. I haven't been sleeping because of my fear. Getting only a few hours if that. How the hell do I calm down? I've always feared medical stuff myself so I think I'm projecting on the boys. I just can't live like this. I'm so scared and worried. Am I valid in my fear? I don't know what to do. Please help.",-0.07097451274362854,2.0263613873517805,1.7112280223524614,98.3325691699605,87.300395256917,4.438271773204306,17.419790104947527,5.727593064623523,-0.5955336240970426,913,22,214,6,29,298,140,253,0.273,0.63,0.097,-0.9951,0,1,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,5,3,10,21,1,9,8,0,29,5,2,4,0,33,49,19,1,3,9,1,3,3,0,2,3,1,0,3,15,10,0,2,5,1,0,3,7,15,0,2,8,5,34,6,24,37,4,22,1,3,1,0,13,11,1,5,11,140,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902654935807593,0.0,0.1231604866421046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234066315054717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881797831908452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121338671624176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269465416001257,0.1499517119574168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877798787014296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379479629154494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12764810717146072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4152065310400815,0.1243786836477903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19277749343769626,0.0,0.13980037914068952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10876297790660798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262270839346511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244012634662339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112408076774613,0.0,0.13166736647811078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351883105122596,0.0,0.13874232123042904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18026561897681614,0.0,0.10860574555879783,0.0,0.10328378365434013,0.1375985595515238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637967185772854,0.08209929147133238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239032760286672,0.0,0.1304769453746051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18082913443103385,0.09119831637919926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354229862450493,0.0,0.1443066797023843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13501021679324152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699523334072733,0.0,0.24627642521680604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12308258703493816,0.0,0.10421221576070673,0.09468660723528714,0.12164397596650366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407984319603611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171159057642845,0.07880943668229162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350469115423488,0.0,0.24029406836510386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865817733644856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124906135987327,0.0,0.08737123995309397,0.13447437131176626,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Spaglioni,2019/03/10,"Recently diagnosed with Bipolar 1 and I have some questions. I'm 26 years old and just had my first manic episode this past October. I'm now living with my parents while my brain heals. The thing is, I used to feel like I was a really sharp thinker before I started smoking weed. I won't go into it but weed has been a detriment to my mental health with how much I've partaken since 17. It feels like there would have never been this decline if I didn't start smoking. So my questions Could weed have been responsible for triggering my disorder? How long did it take it take before you started thinking clearly again after being on meds? I'm on olanzipine and lithium.",5.175683760683762,6.3486941923076925,5.474102564102567,81.54311965811969,68.61538461538461,8.23931623931624,32.136752136752136,8.515128840125781,2.535341880341881,535,23,99,8,9,170,88,130,0.028,0.877,0.095,0.8079,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,1,7,2,0,0,3,0,16,5,1,4,2,25,29,9,0,3,3,1,3,2,0,2,4,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,7,3,13,2,10,18,2,18,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,4,16,66,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764833734850994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813593412715675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971127111872974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16489370984093968,0.0,0.0,0.186193494129104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16428954350948252,0.23212323612917404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13818858542027956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09232989045178927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726876234771826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15873972068515074,0.0,0.14345535615160773,0.14377218786952628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804566872815294,0.0,0.1637216969653728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11942695917660645,0.0,0.12529934180741056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17047467865444654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18039285533321608,0.0,0.1550866686739751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3639852682463383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10407618094113967,0.0,0.1604098740333708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13438877793749565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449705528661505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442997433686621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10793135545034097,0.1040979530981166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031347385538767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11540708348706087,0.0,0.0,0.10461905921066243 bipolarreddit,31secondstodeath,2019/03/10,"Forgive! and Forget? I don't often let people do unforgivable things and get away with it. At 37 and BP1 it's just easier to let those bridges burn. Occasionally though there are those few people in my life that rarely if ever hurt me, but it has happened recently. After multiple conversations with said person we have decided to move past it amicably. It's important to me that this person remains in my support circle. Anyway, I have forgiven them without problem. I'm a pretty open person and people fuck up. It's life. It's how we recover from it. Well... I can't seem to forget it. I'm having trust issues and generally feel not so great when I'm around them. Like a bad energy kinda feel bad. The last few days I've had this overwhelming sense of dread. I don't know. Does anyone else experience such issues and if so how have you dealt with them? Oh yeah on top of everything I've been rapid cycling daily within a mixed episode for a few weeks. It's starting to wear on me more than I'd like.",1.8617222476016444,4.359003452261305,3.769888076747375,84.1453209227958,82.31658291457286,6.83426222019187,21.105756052992234,8.00094639256281,1.2268472361809049,793,24,154,16,22,267,126,199,0.129,0.6970000000000001,0.174,0.6336,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,2,1,3,1,14,14,1,2,5,1,14,4,1,2,1,34,27,15,0,3,6,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,0,3,17,13,0,0,6,0,0,1,5,7,1,0,3,3,15,7,24,22,4,21,0,2,0,1,12,11,1,5,11,102,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972649530788577,0.1425287824805588,0.0,0.12383230887177045,0.0,0.0,0.13069305837970074,0.0,0.23229254154958684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897107584783014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173110055376707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620378383674987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12582779310864933,0.0,0.0,0.1250179652952224,0.13607068648639242,0.0,0.0,0.14067061608737252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859967351757434,0.072676249590731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15336296950548645,0.0,0.0,0.1230094632046835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14891401820529526,0.0,0.0,0.2903774741987826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644807924411745,0.11338856139052585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844871198450165,0.19650694599244287,0.1359186581769809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478458447335643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327907836571906,0.2893121970135105,0.3643814984856155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415190706246274,0.0,0.1331040179563206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373487035434466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232003322957184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12663532015014206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845873159274232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15785389849269574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241470845932644,0.0,0.1366692574947393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11158106985016343,0.0,0.1250714614028058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409157047449508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Soakitincider,2019/03/10,"Hey guys I have a question about voices. I've had hallucinations before where you hear external voices, in my case when it was really bad it was demons talking through my sister and my dad to me that they were going to do awful things to them. BUT I'd had this thing throughout the years of a demon sitting on my shoulder planting bad thoughts into my head. And then the other side was combating it. Is this considered Intrusive Thoughts or is it a hallucination too? Or is it a combo of Intrusive Thoughts and delusions? ",5.528095238095242,6.933203656565659,6.1358152958152985,76.2618181818182,67.98989898989899,8.889466089466088,32.324675324675326,9.23628265651192,2.9672614718614714,418,18,74,8,7,136,68,99,0.101,0.899,0.0,-0.8734,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,2,0,4,2,0,0,6,1,11,2,2,0,0,11,16,8,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,11,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,9,3,10,0,10,7,0,10,2,0,0,0,10,5,0,3,3,58,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4014465599639866,0.0,0.0,0.20456200222405352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662439818981326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380329910131429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24671892141968174,0.0,0.2709473558586351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693021078048404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15400587520898287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932237606571136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194210761446405,0.0,0.0,0.5725503057910426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548091948761128 bipolarreddit,klk_kvn,2019/03/10,"lithium, anticonvulsants, antipsychotics, benzos--which are the most dangerous to be on long-term? Hey everyone, &#x200B; So I've recently been through a rough half year involving suicidal ideation, crazy mood swings, three months on disability, and two surgeries. Needless to say like has been incredibly stressful. The number of meds I'm on has grown to the following: trileptal, lithium, saphris, rexulti, klonopin, and provigil. I want to wean down so am wondering, which of these are the worst to be on long-term? Which are the safest? I need to figure out the right cocktail and I just want to get off all of them but history has shown this is not the smartest thing to do.",5.843500000000002,8.290916350000002,5.020000000000003,80.44500000000002,68.83333333333334,9.133333333333336,34.5,9.642632912329526,3.5571500000000014,542,27,95,13,10,162,83,120,0.132,0.809,0.058,-0.9038,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,0,3,5,1,1,8,0,13,0,0,0,1,14,20,6,1,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,4,1,0,2,1,0,2,1,3,0,3,2,2,4,1,19,16,3,13,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,2,4,63,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403136672313213,0.2695039427090594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119336372869668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587819193440115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10835732752029066,0.0,0.0,0.3925613572216479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463630940333449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17703382595465764,0.0,0.0,0.16445741389772553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189947819373791,0.0,0.0,0.18941083331701794,0.0,0.1763794622586414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25406423629466296,0.0,0.0,0.24260659789988395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735005431234227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21666047481607692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616396527944666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405260927627022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695039427090594,0.14282804095692067 bipolarreddit,pepperonionpizzaaaa,2019/03/10,"Advice for a bipolar person taking lithium for the first time I'm just really curious about prescription meds. Months ako I was prescribed lithium by the doctor but I had issues with addiction(not drug related) before so I kinda avoided it until now. If so, what are your experiences with it? Also, are there meds specifically when someone is in a depressive or manic episode? Thanks so much. ",4.042028985507244,7.353214072463771,5.014492753623191,72.76637681159424,82.18840579710144,7.7043478260869565,27.95652173913044,8.515128840125781,3.1493304347826085,317,14,45,8,9,103,56,69,0.096,0.825,0.079,-0.294,0,1,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,9,3,0,1,4,0,5,3,0,0,0,8,8,9,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,4,1,8,6,1,7,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,3,6,37,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23045957129019595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18860071498226288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20068199306650186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20312816411538392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24139166023923864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734988763632904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306962263858154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20060490720738985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461551023768913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5239289033456109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188244790989164,0.0,0.17336912445279307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059259022793438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108478429458552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19982599220602812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17732190831901953,0.0,0.0,0.2171292703477848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13751987404963475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Texastornado81,2019/03/10,"Bipolar tendencies that get out of hand Am I the only one who can be in a house full of people and pets & feel like the most lonely person on the planet? I mean I feel like the life I have is like I'm in some kind of Alice in Wonderland saga. I should be GREATFUL. But damm, I feel like I'm missing out on adventure or something. I have a wonderful supportive husband. 2 mostly great kids, a June Cleaver kind of life. Anyone would kill for my life right now. The only thing I can think of is damm, how much longer am I in this for? I want to be wild and free. No attachments. No expectations. Just me, my dog, my truck, and my camper on the open road. I'm such a gypsy by nature. This staying in one place hits my internal self like a damm knife. Idk, maybe it's me. 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I'm pretty sure I'm bipolar, I suffer with various deppereison, mood swings, parnoid, general anxiety disorder and ocd. How would a doctor work out what is causing what? Can you be bipolar and not show some symptoms? ",3.4434782608695684,6.292111173913046,4.415391304347828,79.79265217391305,78.56521739130434,8.027826086956521,33.11304347826087,8.841846274778883,3.5221530434782604,198,11,33,5,5,64,35,46,0.21600000000000005,0.7020000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.7833,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,6,5,0,2,1,13,8,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,2,6,2,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,23,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269795090137094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.362293944693954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4041956255942853,0.3609773790727861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35879683898730397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33239162007365103,0.36656392768239615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567512962392434,0.0,0.0,0.250529904528888,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Saturniqa,2019/03/11,"Please tell me about your first (hypo-)manic episode. I rejected a suspected diagnosis because I'm still hoping it wasn't mania. I only recently (26/F) realized I *might* have had more than just a ""good time"" or a ""sort-of-mild-hypomanic-state-but-not-really"" during last summer, while caring for my SO (33/M), who had a terrifying psychotic manic episode for the first time in our relationship. Until now, I never once associated my... utterly *unusual* behavior back then with BP. It began last spring, when the fog of my life-long crippling depression suddenly lifted: First, I became motivated, euphoric and optimistic; then, I felt like a superintellectual magic sex goddess; and then finally, between summer and fall, I turned into a binge-drinking, erratic mess who would stay up 3 or 4 days straight, had spent thousands of euros on chemistry textbooks, plant oils and booze, lost many important friends during the ride and ended a relationship of 5 intense years per text, only to start dating one of her ex's friends a month after. Could it be that it was a one-time substance-induced mania as the treatment of my severe ADHD had begun only a year before? Methylphenidate usually *eliminates* my restlessness, emotional instability and impulsivity and chills me the fuck down. I can easily fall asleep at night, one/two hours after taking +30mg. I do have episodically recurring insomnia since childhood though, which occurs seemingly independently from medication. But still... Does it really sound like the beginning of BP to you? Does something like an one-time mania due to ADHD meds and/or excessive use of cannabis exist? How did your first mania evolve? Please tell.",7.648413793103447,9.408762013793103,7.9684482758620705,63.75887931034484,63.3448275862069,11.317241379310346,34.8448275862069,11.20814326018867,4.5906413793103455,1344,59,201,40,20,440,200,290,0.087,0.754,0.159,0.9533,0,1,3,1,0,0,73.0,1,3,0,6,10,14,1,1,17,0,15,6,1,4,1,26,29,20,0,3,4,1,1,3,2,2,2,1,0,0,9,9,1,0,5,0,2,3,2,6,0,6,11,3,21,8,27,14,1,54,0,3,0,2,14,7,1,5,46,120,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478541217143189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929090582066244,0.0,0.06285940223151476,0.0,0.08774530168590118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513504882352584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233084306596143,0.0,0.0,0.06650218415630722,0.0,0.08881485463073538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18047744114290648,0.0,0.0,0.101015782409964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11599318155512793,0.09133139833572007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900886282795716,0.11296005751093327,0.0,0.3508463880314692,0.0,0.0,0.15933647535573148,0.09533036299960887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864899721432968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024188326801027,0.1015498551302221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16810886717974546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283486023331183,0.15113384040583078,0.0,0.0,0.0912556428955286,0.0,0.0,0.11256480940173164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045448458655268,0.0,0.0,0.1145401712020812,0.10387991926227776,0.0,0.10939125247960887,0.0,0.0,0.08230731479066994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953048611459174,0.0,0.0,0.0967686826706512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981665214717794,0.27950004148680435,0.2352762591960816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263838514942841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066059638812161,0.0,0.10181597984020607,0.2214189668318334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387419663110537,0.0,0.11649329651543215,0.0,0.0852997684069465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793848026467427,0.0,0.0,0.07298701751318587,0.10990941471702977,0.16469935749006465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753144217486466,0.0,0.18025828326475626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131230952215456,0.0,0.12025715563123468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216210654064662,0.10073070390485843,0.0,0.0,0.08906031446915431,0.11356923385839265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07325163339565434,0.0,0.0,0.13280843324243458 bipolarreddit,InsurmountableRunner,2019/03/11,Tardive diskinesia Talk to me about tardive diskinesia. Do you/have you had it? Were you able to get rid of it? Does it ever get better or does it get worse with time?,0.8288235294117641,3.2001227647058816,2.995588235294118,88.72514705882355,86.05882352941177,5.752941176470588,20.264705882352946,7.1686216300943375,0.5173764705882355,130,4,28,2,4,44,23,34,0.097,0.826,0.077,-0.1877,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,5,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,17,7,0,0.31396099883283474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776729896976974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5494987716488978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28399569805070163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4920949908834069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523499582305677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830731832268973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3199530802491823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,koolaidbootywarrior,2019/03/11,"My attention span has plummeted to almost nothing. After a year of trying I finally finished a book! I used to be an avid reader, among other attention intensive hobbies, but as my illness has progressed I’ve lost all ability to concentrate it seems. I bought Carrie Fisher’s “Wishful Drinking” last February on a recommendation and because I knew it was relatively short. After literally just over a year of struggling to try to read it I’ve finally finished! It was incredibly frustrating because it really was a fascinating and hilarious read, but I just couldn’t for the life of me focus long enough to retain anything. Even though it took me a stupidly long time to complete It still feels like a pretty big accomplishment and I just wanted to share! Side note: I’d highly recommend ""Wishful Drinking"" to anyone reading this. Carrie’s retelling of her life is bittersweet in the best way possible. Her humor in addressing the problems she faced was really relatable and refreshing. Though, as you probably guessed from the title, the whole thing is basically one giant trigger warning.",5.699377545084353,8.655201732984295,6.588123909249562,66.72859656777197,70.93717277486911,9.898894706224553,35.21844095404305,10.125756701596842,4.668915997673066,885,47,126,27,18,292,124,191,0.122,0.7090000000000001,0.16899999999999998,0.901,0,0,2,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,4,7,9,2,1,13,0,10,6,1,2,1,25,21,10,0,5,5,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,10,4,2,1,5,6,1,1,1,5,0,1,8,1,14,4,24,11,4,26,0,1,0,0,5,11,0,3,14,89,24,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262325487077337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814524779237183,0.0,0.10373800978604472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536920427935491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322939408482947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13217325814568012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469848805719689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025539915704187,0.0,0.08326254133111714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06374056594708984,0.09005847922080046,0.0,0.27618878603061386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388711371733911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319107116119547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275708283625323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17808216525209192,0.06158736227890529,0.0,0.0,0.2231212145702016,0.0,0.0,0.1376111996730464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095956821683893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542264723337617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142115587052439,0.0,0.12825003408412122,0.13591579707094087,0.12062398915062506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.378287339568112,0.0,0.16151666218287522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476180598011244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067300913156917,0.0,0.0,0.13178702399425704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374976925350298,0.0,0.2477098931555819,0.0,0.07350757107677328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14005914909064812,0.17117519231768902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887680423834632,0.0,0.0,0.0743544366215677,0.10006188260778533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407433479205857,0.2899293886257798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16235915933517292 bipolarreddit,knuck_if_you_cuck,2019/03/11,"Vivid dreams are making it impossible to get rest I have Bipolar II and I'm so sick and tired of feeling like I get no rest at all. Every night I have dreams that are either nightmares (people murdering me, my loved ones dying, at one point I even dreamed someone was slicing open my veins and I was heading towards the light and forced myself to wake up so I wouldn't die) or dreams that genuinely feel like real life and then I wake up confused that I'm in my bed. For the past few nights I've had dreams that I'm in relationships or in love with someone and then I wake up and am honestly kind of sad that it's not real. The content of the dreams and the lack of restful sleep is really starting to drag me into a bad depressive episode. I feel so helpless..I take 75 mg of Lamictal and 75 mg of Wellbutrin. I know vivid dreams can be a side effect of lamictal but I'm very sensitive to medication and terrified to try different drugs. I was prescribed vistaril but I hate taking it because of how tired it makes me the next day and it honestly didn't really stop the dreams. I used to smoke weed and it definitely made it so I have no dreams but I started to get horrible panic attacks so that's a no go. Does anyone have any experiences like this and could offer me advice or medications to look into?",3.3107313566936187,4.863620932075474,4.693692722371972,83.88704402515725,73.64150943396227,8.066486972147349,26.95867026055705,8.704169506293173,1.9514707996406115,1037,38,211,20,21,345,143,265,0.185,0.664,0.151,-0.9346,1,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,7,16,3,2,10,0,17,16,6,6,1,43,41,27,3,3,8,0,3,3,0,1,8,0,1,0,14,17,0,1,5,9,0,1,6,8,0,2,6,7,23,8,29,32,7,25,0,2,3,2,4,14,0,4,13,134,37,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382665002807195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921299844251868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144820195162787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325171721774291,0.0,0.0,0.09725913207734957,0.07100746128307177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300285945891404,0.0,0.0,0.07512243354346168,0.0,0.10032735163987604,0.0,0.24178364913656664,0.12170080948023056,0.0,0.0,0.10193578414270882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350842610206641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07693647078191634,0.0,0.0981426502375764,0.0,0.0,0.11394353671928475,0.0,0.0,0.17669317238741405,0.16643214210050755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18257397962101465,0.0,0.06620044466054707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500366588312412,0.11954601462516297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129998338176218,0.06401646636317954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227597359304707,0.17072434576539194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978170795554158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21026240786388115,0.11021981590875084,0.15550772137029714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23469040694779955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238818741250264,0.21862436625925072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15786491495254046,0.0,0.0,0.13666867604373314,0.0,0.0,0.1111969956522474,0.08075522067481332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11011486975323724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26516819899246025,0.1492450477989597,0.0,0.0,0.1250600399980155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656795270180842,0.0,0.1973927414167278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648957080802815,0.0,0.0,0.09738569724024564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17516268634486998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677620530319003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07908487401294946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060462885464952,0.0,0.0961113584889217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,pigeonsplease,2019/03/11,"Help Coping With Hypersexuality??? I’ve been feeling super hypersexual for the last month and a half after about a year of having absolutely zero interest in sex whatsoever. And I don’t know how to deal. Help!!! As background, I have a lot of sexual trauma going back to childhood that I’m in the process of finding a therapist to deal with (life is hard without insurance). I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years and he’s amazing, but he’s not feeling the same need to suddenly have sex all the time and the sex we have been having feels a bit unfulfilling and like I’m just going through the motions. I’ve also had what was a harmless crush on a coworker for a while, but lately I feel like it’s getting into risky territory where I’m changing my wardrobe and behavior and it even got to the point where he (jokingly? I can’t tell right now!) asked me out even though he knows my boyfriend well. And I didn’t say yes but the best I could do was say that it’d make my boyfriend sad. And I’m afraid I’m going to do something I regret and hurt the people I care about. I just was hoping that people might have some coping strategies. I could really use any help I can get right now. Thanks!",4.1659946302172335,5.216769182572616,5.264134732731268,82.5711935562607,70.86721991701245,8.160214791310715,27.45447888699048,8.4952907291091,1.7895382474981698,947,32,194,15,17,313,134,241,0.077,0.716,0.207,0.9861,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,0,2,15,17,0,1,17,1,24,4,0,3,1,44,48,18,0,5,7,0,5,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,7,16,0,0,7,1,0,4,5,5,1,2,9,7,17,12,26,35,6,27,0,3,0,3,14,10,0,5,15,125,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299541094119693,0.0,0.0,0.1037835704955798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08825361849746782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12132508752621812,0.0,0.0,0.09979141626516984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619420220489134,0.0,0.14168416964006378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323175124892245,0.0,0.13728811551181375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20723464681915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26759122770708704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17143453913958248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624790061158441,0.0927135638307717,0.0,0.0,0.1186149132042503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13560749423997498,0.0,0.2212678058768692,0.0,0.10379547284629402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625576590641565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609627525340524,0.0,0.0,0.12889902391188907,0.0,0.0,0.1389302349787295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14264539686808478,0.10578654493204513,0.14639544942400254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166617256961443,0.12680613515168784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033277499296416,0.0,0.0,0.08662794860103491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13767414937409206,0.0,0.0,0.1035877119441829,0.0,0.0,0.09622888239610262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17994371068494536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268233619703844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313923074534066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216597278508366,0.0,0.2064096488994998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09990958993414707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343185699759427,0.11948231976698705,0.0,0.15068247955914174,0.0,0.0,0.12750641133016874,0.0,0.07567470539184208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11208668663717453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668617724000832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510154261639567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16714579696183987 bipolarreddit,JustASmallTownBoy_,2019/03/11,I(15m) haven't taken my meds in 3 weeks. So yeah I haven't had a good night sleep in a week I went off my bipolar meds cuase I just keep on forgetting to take them so I'm in school right now so i cant take them and I'm suppose to take them at night so I'm going to try to remember to take them tonight. What I'm asking if I should tell anyone im off my meds my mom is out of town and it's just me and my twin sisters(17/17) that are home so should I tell my sister or keep this to myself.,-2.3137282608695666,-0.5393513999999993,0.4496467391304364,104.6405570652174,97.78260869565216,3.9184782608695663,12.404891304347824,5.602791699666715,-1.448989130434783,379,6,104,3,16,129,66,115,0.024,0.95,0.025,0.0225,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,4,0,8,1,0,0,2,1,8,2,1,0,0,14,22,10,0,3,4,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,4,4,0,2,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,0,18,1,15,17,0,18,0,0,0,0,9,10,0,2,6,60,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570737434683418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14133129212162807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591810522490566,0.12680117573731656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15164414962851466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632984938386602,0.0,0.0,0.26874841797469456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5037749932505808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770581842729167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28374116520375936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17125553035533014,0.12910543230276822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15300049892388445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15128746759090175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4546690341439562,0.0,0.2642729750969497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264013424659747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24253220810395526,0.0,0.0,0.1401437879734093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,BipolarBilbo909,2019/03/11,"I don’t have an appointment until Thursday and I am barely hanging on... horrible mixed episode... not sure what to do in this situation It started with a massive depressive episode after over a month of doing really good. It came out of nowhere with none of the usual triggers or red flags. It got to they point where I was about to go to the ER. The only thing that stopped me is that I work at the hospital and I would have been seen by people I know. I made it through the night. Since then I have had a few days of being almost constantly awake, in various states of mania and hopelessness. My therapist can’t see me until Thursday and my Psych doc can’t see me until next Tuesday. My antipsychotic was gone, I had been doing so good that I hadn’t used it in forever. All I have had is my usual meds, which aren’t doing anything and my lorazepam for my panic attacks. Yesterday I had a huge panic attack in the middle of all this, ended up taking more loraz than ever before and it barely touched it. My girlfriend found me walking along in the snow crying by the side of the road. An absolute mess. (First time I have cried in probably 2 years too, I can’t usually get emotional but it all just started pouring out.) I just don’t know what to do to get through until my appointment. How can I make it with all those hours between now and then?",4.208798669536293,5.279061204460966,5.240872627665818,82.70488554099005,70.78438661710037,8.3397378203874,28.656036000782624,8.6894789155246,2.1267724907063195,1060,39,209,18,19,349,150,269,0.091,0.8809999999999999,0.028,-0.9033,1,0,0,0,0,1,28.0,0,0,1,2,9,10,2,2,15,0,31,0,0,5,6,36,49,17,0,1,5,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,19,14,0,1,3,0,0,5,9,7,1,1,15,5,29,3,42,32,8,53,0,2,4,0,2,18,0,2,29,165,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12323721994110735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012764462029142,0.0,0.0,0.2800206754610324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472383888859342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14075974193232813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13299537201553305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27037409297988324,0.07937022137384382,0.0,0.10600034815034956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384376259920751,0.10900383793787476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11132421532732106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10468361242399199,0.0,0.1349403323323007,0.0,0.0,0.12859840038098105,0.0,0.06994373983790937,0.2064512112713816,0.09843063504440304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119954531452885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352725375670159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164521804715054,0.08215044220686568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13670346109444192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823361260236957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088675791927645,0.11549322571981102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09360057875448377,0.0,0.28879317564134904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853215136906518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634130014984186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269069783169374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884204440674915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19614233662969924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180509989993834,0.13833627686939892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17421971356075402,0.0,0.0,0.10289235830109997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11599238782587168,0.0,0.0925336183603941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14289421056961993,0.08176249976071831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176333518464319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629330396767893,0.4066339480555341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959671101689841,0.0,0.0,0.08742567529727252,0.0,0.0,0.0792532973202028 bipolarreddit,Sociofunetic,2019/03/11,"The Logical Loop The suicidal ideation always starts in the most reasonable, logical way. I hate cycling. I don't want to do this anymore. Kill yourself. It is almost entirely devoid of emotion except for maybe fear of the horrible human being I am becoming worse. It has rooted. Soon enough it will be an emotional, visceral, barely controllable impulse if I can control it. All weapons have been surrendered. The proper people notified. Now I wait. Again. Forever. I guess.",3.2679616724738665,6.3240936707317115,4.538188153310107,72.95829268292684,94.0,8.684320557491287,31.46689895470384,8.634040054169528,4.380045993031358,379,21,53,13,14,124,67,82,0.284,0.6990000000000001,0.017,-0.9782,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,3,4,3,1,6,0,11,0,0,4,1,14,16,1,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,6,0,6,12,3,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,4,4,41,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963871094525121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16318859695637314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19449958781192286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21660052013882533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43993333301048904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4412200343539704,0.0,0.20264568522862628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22069093933164666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21604967573782916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19362913839899853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21697911333620035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19703016336972545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13596578578961316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016453163751133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13881563529342658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145248236344859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567739883703287,0.15567192529097396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19986431621858694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Sinop257,2019/03/11,"I quit smoking weed and my life has gotten way better I was diagnosed bipolar 2 about a year and a half ago, but I havn’t had the opportunity to go on meds yet because I’ve been moving around a lot, lost my insurance, bullshit like that. I started smoking weed for the first time during a manic episode about 6 months ago and smoked nightly no matter what my mood state was. If I was manic I would smoke all day everyday to feel less “up”, and if I was depressed or baseline I smoked to wind down at night or to distract myself from being depressed. I swore by weed and told all my friends it was actually making me more stable, but I see now that I was just numbing my symptoms. I was in a manic episode for the last month of these 6 months, this recent February. Every night during this month the smoking started giving me 3 hour panic attacks. It started slowly, maybe the first week I would just get paranoid about stuff like cops, and then I started hearing voices ontop of the paranoia, and then I slowly became convinced that I secretly had some medical issues that could kill me every second, and then finally the last week or two I would smoke and just become completely convinced I would die in my sleep. This even happened at a party, I didn’t even smoke that much but began hearing voices and had to leave the party early. It was humiliating. And being convinced you’re going to die is very traumatizing, especially when it happens night after night. I would be laying in my bed shaking, too high to even cry, and praying to god to forgive me for my sins since I was going to die that night, all while listening to classical music to try and calm down and hearing voices speak over the music. Finally I just said, why the fuck am I paying for weed, paying to have these panic attacks? So I threw it all away. This was about a week ago, and I’ve been a week sober for the first time in 6 months. I can already notice myself returning back to normal. I hadn’t realized how much weed was affecting my brain even when I wasn’t high. I have wayyy less anxiety, whereas when I was smoking I was wondering why I was suddenly developing anxiety. I wake up feeling refreshed and not still high from the night before. I don’t think every little ache and pain in my body is secretly cancer or something that’s going to make me magically drop dead. I’m not paranoid about cops busting in and arresting me for no reason. I was derealized for a long time and nothing felt real, and now everything feels real again. I hadn’t realized how fucked up weed was making me. I guess I wanted to post this because I’ve seen people on here say the same things I used to swear by, that weed is ok to self medicate with and that it actually reduces your symptoms. If you start getting paranoid when you smoke, you need to stop before it becomes psychotic panic attacks like i was having. I finally feel like I’m returning back to my normal self. I’m not even sad about having to quit like I imagine doing I’d be. I have literally no desire to smoke anymore, I’d do anything if it means I didn’t have to suffer another 3 hour panic attack of hearing voices and saying farewell to the world as I fall asleep and prepare to die. So yah, use weed if you want. But be aware that it gets bad very quickly, and likely is affecting you when you’re not high and you don’t even realize it. Take a week off and see what happens. ",7.086876332622602,6.304634276119407,7.444669509594885,75.78350746268656,64.44776119402985,9.98550106609808,33.76972281449893,9.159459690764724,2.87467078891258,2695,98,507,39,35,884,285,670,0.224,0.6779999999999999,0.098,-0.9987,0,0,8,0,0,1,55.0,0,7,0,8,36,38,7,6,24,2,55,17,5,10,4,98,108,53,6,17,21,0,5,6,1,5,10,13,1,2,31,28,0,1,16,0,2,8,14,22,0,6,35,21,71,15,67,62,12,104,2,5,3,2,24,25,2,13,73,345,102,2,0.0,0.0,0.09707569983969168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13227121556887134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05488795290885516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052155421356593096,0.07610002277638206,0.0,0.04932747969839884,0.0,0.0,0.0409307572990948,0.04427803712507539,0.0,0.2263400570565104,0.046731197565882066,0.0764920647175897,0.04152978278577288,0.06064056670606289,0.10986509411158328,0.08464803404318469,0.0,0.0,0.04398988676744107,0.0,0.05524854393875685,0.0,0.055524900106995234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052150138235245065,0.0,0.0,0.03971234854031732,0.0,0.054635686749660316,0.032077382151811204,0.0,0.08567983349393365,0.05048378927160016,0.20648389956446286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19711187124325935,0.0,0.12572113875574598,0.0,0.0447019857666981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059763592026218,0.03553337646745594,0.047757004820832234,0.16345912447712233,0.0,0.12692327862889488,0.0,0.0,0.0384280386843783,0.0919653549249424,0.0779593396943409,0.047713945982969234,0.11307072264998645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05479284616329725,0.0,0.13195145018621748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22423676688021565,0.0,0.0,0.2102069017652864,0.0,0.0,0.09796530901351624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05191433762320148,0.0,0.0,0.0550285629315452,0.0,0.0,0.08108744763868526,0.0,0.05266615977226721,0.0,0.0,0.03513195356390585,0.1457990595729595,0.04985129928971542,0.0,0.044017232934618726,0.0,0.0,0.05429572658152584,0.04228611077533498,0.0,0.0,0.0996030154507666,0.0,0.049969264680346834,0.054180085545393344,0.05524854393875685,0.10021312563940336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19850499828879226,0.05286442497555039,0.07312741579088286,0.03688065655058314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32673516480910963,0.09746683860730498,0.04772567682663177,0.05662790216551261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0529255420991987,0.23343084843494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034482589982141106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04763597817080935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580657668624502,0.0,0.11322718464208995,0.0,0.05113972405632459,0.04911101997520848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047312946008275666,0.07910850859156626,0.0,0.0,0.07927069597784285,0.0,0.10377673804373858,0.0,0.0,0.04114441207253353,0.0,0.04977467567403646,0.0,0.0,0.03829132356856835,0.0,0.0,0.17602673375272535,0.0,0.039721433945305314,0.041583826283910816,0.0,0.0,0.05693897451351524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339522202370532,0.037397353650501314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03304421866430933,0.031870585802694244,0.0,0.0,0.08700920398207157,0.0,0.0,0.0475275118527483,0.0,0.0337693496666818,0.0,0.048587536252681585,0.0,0.0,0.08591662899590934,0.0,0.08207936377873629,0.05867441270070947,0.039480308522949266,0.19948714508736154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976297992994894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053939558019266684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766649221741334,0.0,0.0,0.03203012743226448 bipolarreddit,QuerterPastmidnite,2019/03/12,"need to do this this is a repost and i apologize if its the wrong thing for this subreddit. on r/bipolar i saw a post from someone planning on committing suicide [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/comments/b0dtx5/this_is_the_end_my_end/). iv'e seen too many people go like this and feel obligated to do everything in my power to stop this. if you see this i ask that you just run over there and comfort them, assuming its not too late. please.",5.795388788426763,8.52065298734177,4.49497287522604,82.93696202531646,69.75949367088607,8.05858951175407,30.273056057866178,8.841846274778883,2.622857504520796,362,15,62,7,7,105,59,79,0.14800000000000002,0.755,0.097,-0.7237,1,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,2,1,2,4,3,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,1,12,10,5,1,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,4,7,2,9,8,0,9,0,0,3,0,5,4,0,3,3,42,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26092447931244217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25084059731559305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411233228791696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15862118383540524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148413670537372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363560721970521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28296755734633233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20695201253075893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934955085273354,0.0,0.0,0.3063722795210304,0.0,0.0,0.2673043940473023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22240968032697786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364838369635404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23334336595612326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3052943768156624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854242357563766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051563107926635,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,princessbroke,2019/03/12,"My boyfriend is forcing over communication on me because of my diagnosis. I tried (again) to tell him I don't feel comfortable talking to him about *everything*. He makes me talk about bipolar related things despite me telling him I don't feel comfortable talking about it in front of/to people who aren't bipolar. He's telling me now how ""doctors and everyone"" say that communication is key when living with this disorder. Am I being unreasonable?",5.597035714285717,8.216634775,6.124642857142856,71.50750000000002,70.0,9.571428571428571,37.67857142857143,9.957137785484203,4.4476071428571435,362,21,59,10,7,117,55,80,0.111,0.889,0.0,-0.8190000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,2,0,6,10,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,13,2,10,9,0,7,0,0,0,0,13,3,0,0,3,40,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13175386330642336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477093850458565,0.22122328625925905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20652621306440866,0.19424816231614705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185686561313486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908511262440214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14427176168738787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14984076481278094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718791923213698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5211632726325429,0.5667344351838642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359046115344726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14674144789896787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,jeanadhoc,2019/03/12,"Brain Zaps? (Not on meds) I've been off medication since October, and generally doing really well, really proud of myself. HOWEVER: I've been experiencing infrequent brain zaps (that's all I know how to call them, but they're weird) at night. This happens only when I'm laying down at night, and almost exclusively when I'm in a really bad depressive episode. I get this low humming in my ears (like when you yawn or stretch), and then it builds up really loud for a few seconds. Usually when this happens, I either have really intense hallucinogenic dreams (where sometimes I can't tell if I'm awake or asleep), or I sleepwalk, where I fully remember being conscious, but didn't feel as though I had any control or explanation for my actions. Once I ""woke up"" scrubbing change on my bathroom floor, and didn't know how long I'd been ""out"" for. I can tell when this is going to happen because I get nauseous, and it doesn't matter if I'm sleeping on either side or on my back or stomach. It lasts what seems like a few seconds, and then I'm ""good"" for the night (i.e. after the incident I sleep through the night). This isn't accompanied by drug or alcohol use, it just seems to happen. Again, almost exclusively when I'm in a bad depressive episode, and only at night when I'm laying in bed. I do have a small history of seizures (I was born with a brain seizure and I've had one other seizure in my life, after my first major manic episode. Is this an experience other people have had?",4.863166089965397,5.955874442906578,5.846884083044987,78.88036072664363,69.27681660899654,9.101799307958476,29.67491349480969,9.3871,2.576783944636678,1170,44,225,24,20,387,153,289,0.081,0.872,0.047,-0.9088,1,0,2,0,0,0,49.0,0,1,1,3,16,11,0,0,10,0,21,13,8,4,1,41,42,32,0,2,15,0,1,2,0,0,5,2,1,0,14,10,1,1,7,1,0,2,6,6,1,4,10,4,22,5,32,31,6,49,0,3,0,0,5,24,0,13,25,146,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043150443325834,0.1954839548280584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0663779177504898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505580545962984,0.16299998223647758,0.05950194434489281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268939947678797,0.09967037893593668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325808045847304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947753653145836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681421187485707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319621960683646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548097985510512,0.0,0.0,0.049354378256138316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08302672914931444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199404004346116,0.0,0.05547382067492818,0.08187035393539986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452636091288694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072874357108358,0.07956490281256011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894459135975994,0.09537430139023402,0.0,0.0,0.0863814798099506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842233063272476,0.09833146601889126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4580002804823785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395110504133688,0.06614283354020334,0.14847309374445158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767024984876932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126562465204504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057271986681824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17772034174913456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074372157865921,0.0,0.19536031027529935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653845219060704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17063029487652492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590099791972724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430340866692924,0.10750325317198542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877628091326202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Dashismygirl13,2019/03/12,"Is it just me or... One of the biggest steps to helping your bipolar disorder is learning to love yourself. And it makes it easier. Knowing I'm all chemically imbalanced and weird af but I still love me for the weirdo I am ? When I hated myself it was so hard to not get so crazy, now that I love myself it makes dealing easier. I was always looking for love and validation when I really just needed it from myself.",2.362682926829269,4.616919597560977,4.524573170731706,80.8800304878049,78.63414634146342,7.514634146341463,24.88414634146341,8.472884824447931,1.956117073170732,325,12,61,7,8,112,52,82,0.177,0.5720000000000001,0.251,0.8758,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,8,6,1,0,2,0,5,5,0,2,1,14,17,9,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,2,2,12,4,7,15,1,6,0,0,1,4,7,1,0,1,4,49,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17183509975100408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21290551332248145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23668143179728865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10789435595078987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849948051667624,0.20388852488503167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13842110162427326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.113493972517412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17341864631849188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7455430546311386,0.0,0.2756976455919658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15312654139333226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13993834193722693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229731595273955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649212993506791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ekhojustin,2019/03/12,"Season Change Mood Flux Hello, I'm Bipolar 1 with SAD as well. Is anyone else currently experiencing bouts of Stability, Anxiety, Depression and Confidence. I've been relatively stable for the past year. This is the most indecisive and confused I've been in quite some time. I'm hoping it's the season change. 300mg of Lamotrigine 1.5mg of klonopin 20mg of Lexapro &#x200B; Thanks for listening!",4.330416666666668,7.452714541666667,5.456111111111113,71.97500000000005,77.19444444444446,9.155555555555557,29.83333333333333,9.516144504307137,3.6123,325,15,53,10,8,107,54,72,0.17800000000000002,0.657,0.165,-0.269,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,1,8,0,2,3,0,4,1,0,0,0,8,9,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,2,0,3,9,7,2,7,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,5,6,23,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582193992155409,0.2895846373380245,0.0,0.0,0.18231399150188626,0.0,0.0,0.16663874245733012,0.2441867941608799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5042214878270913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052644909371036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990856088897713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23670533088029666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275032115690967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534824382313652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21941284872818548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13896618946695355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142781175102874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895846373380245,0.15347013489469086 bipolarreddit,iamcarltonwhitfield,2019/03/12,"Lithium covering depression? I took some time off from my therapist (6 months) but found myself having a hard time again so I went back. I’ve been on lithium for 7 years and it saved my life. Before then, 15 years of intense suicidality. Lithium raised me out of it and I haven’t had a depressive episode like I used to in at least 5 years. I’ve struggled with hypomania, but honestly it’s just too much of a good thing. I’m pretty happy and stable, comparatively. But now I’ve got dysphoria - I feel hugely fat, but I’m 6 feet tall and I weigh 145lbs. No sex drive at all. A lot of dissociation. My therapist thinks I might have depression but it doesn’t feel like that because I’m used to being really sad and suicidal when I’m depressed. She thinks maybe lithium is masking those symptoms, so it’s coming out in other ways. She also thinks I’ve been on lithium too long. I am very sensitive to meds, had horrible experiences on a lot of other drugs. I really don’t want to change meds. So I’m wondering if any of you have experienced anything like this, and what you did. Thanks in advance.",2.4681413210445484,4.719834400921663,4.263963133640555,82.8968970814132,78.2626728110599,7.8199692780337955,25.079877112135183,8.704169506293173,1.9568807987711216,863,32,172,20,21,291,128,217,0.159,0.674,0.16699999999999998,-0.0303,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,2,0,1,11,14,0,1,5,0,15,7,2,2,1,33,35,18,2,2,7,0,3,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,12,10,2,0,7,0,0,5,4,6,0,0,9,4,18,8,24,24,6,31,0,5,0,1,4,13,0,6,15,105,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09353497892872682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953860430053451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625028477667362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993704854303515,0.0,0.07129933819483114,0.0,0.09952658978315893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12373096175284345,0.10075295560222054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4029589930695699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356395262874623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11441190281788365,0.0,0.0,0.11827964767951532,0.083558131580063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282434949269497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810271105656107,0.0935457059264389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450890250009132,0.10477554937139802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261416984243276,0.17142610997303614,0.0,0.0,0.103508253562949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988749035099808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750469018736501,0.0,0.2598382457839115,0.0,0.0,0.12407887490520035,0.0,0.0,0.09335846134130484,0.0,0.08598099643529385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899305113597185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985852112781567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222747439967172,0.0,0.25587628317972205,0.0,0.0,0.12156896452718605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10768348215806006,0.0,0.2716052739984102,0.07770477915718373,0.22483480604278286,0.0,0.0,0.13640370899679208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994979384467578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020363304661107,0.0,0.09650642523252646,0.06898759397828512,0.09283949746243372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842553673484008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12684099104604507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22596031128332794 bipolarreddit,scoot-n-code,2019/03/12,"Vivid dream of psychotic break I've never had a dream like last night's before and I sincerely expected I would be on my way to the hospital when I woke up. In the dream, I was hallucinating and detaching so vividly it seemed like a real episode and not a dream. I mean, I know dreams have natural tendencies to be weird and surreal, so to say ""I dreamt of hallucinating"" doesn't do justice to how it felt. The confusion and anxiety were so palpable, and as I kept waking up and falling back asleep I felt the hallucinations weren't always limited to the sleep. However, today I'm fine. It's got me kind of shaken because I've been really stable lately. Has anyone else had this kind of experience?",4.0074064171123,5.844321558823534,5.9774064171123005,74.22855614973263,72.38235294117645,10.23957219251337,28.540106951871657,10.436869588844218,3.3507294117647053,556,22,104,18,11,193,88,136,0.114,0.7240000000000001,0.161,0.7558,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,6,8,0,1,8,0,13,3,3,1,1,21,22,13,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,2,5,5,0,1,4,2,0,0,11,5,11,6,14,8,0,14,0,0,2,0,1,4,0,2,9,65,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049002091220071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755120989945758,0.0,0.0,0.13486484423467182,0.19762639511699168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14831134453077693,0.0,0.11757669262150686,0.0,0.16412504731284616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16112489350523626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18867178111949487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3703864248868512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15426222725545774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4017056969327651,0.10600075333341058,0.15722138535890387,0.2175748851942022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18846098294791275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210100782707255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487594725367314,0.0,0.0,0.18100302029361368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21953749129014294,0.12356264252559453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533843976673534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17558896792774026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193017382915594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18282587541305234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530976490475626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370150602460893,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,bpthroaway,2019/03/12,"Is this normal psych hospital procedure? A few years ago on my 16th birthday I was sent to a psych hospital and stayed there for a week. Some things happened there that scared me and I'm not sure if it was standerd psych hospital procedure and I'm overeacting, or if their procedures are abnormal. I was voluntarily admitted due to bipolar disorder. I wasn't on the medicine I needed, and since it was an emergency, I went to the psych hospital. During my time there they had a skin check. At first I didn't know they were doing, they just told me to undress myself and be naked. They didn't ask if being naked in front of other people made me uncomfortable, they didn't ask if I was menstruating, they didn't ask if I had been sexually assaulted. I was confused and thought they were going to sexually assault me, so I started crying. They then told me either I undress myself or they would restrain me. By then I was crying uncontrollably. I begged them to not make me undress myself. I let them touch under my clothes because I didn't want them to see my breasts. They forced me to take off my underwear which was uncomfortable since I was menstruating. It probably doesn't seem like much to be scared of, but when the only person you've allowed to see your private parts is your pediatrician due to yearly check-up and that it is required, and I have had the same pediatrician for several years so I trust her, it was a big deal to me. I was stuck at the hospital for a week, they said they would let me home on Friday but then said I had to stay over the weekend even though the insurance didn't cover weekends, so the hospital bill put my family in some debt. My family can afford a house, food, utilities and all that, but we aren't middle class, we get free lunch at school and help from the government. Hospital bills are notoriously high in the united states, and the medicine I'm on costs more in the united states than it does in third world countries and the developing world. My parents asked that I be released from the hospital, but their request was denied even though I was voluntarily committed. Also, the psych hospital had zero privacy. No locks on doors, the shower curtain was clear. Everyone had a roommate, mine treated me terribly, and so I was worried she'd come in when I was in the bathroom or showering and see me. The psych hospital was tiny, it was a hallway with rooms on each side, some bedrooms, a room to eat, and a desk where a lady gave you meds. They made you go to groups, but the medicine they put me on made me super tired and knocked me out. Best sleep I've had, but it made the nurses and doctors angry that I wasn't participating in groups and instead, sleeping. Or trying to sleep, rather, since the psych hospital was so small and crowded that every little noise echoed. I often hear people say psych wards make them feel safe and calm, but my experience was far from it. Is it normal for psych hospitals to be like this?",6.882727272727273,6.731532438811192,7.059571678321677,76.28628059440561,64.64685314685315,10.576573426573427,32.90996503496503,10.198262852665088,3.1259202797202796,2353,86,454,49,32,760,256,572,0.105,0.816,0.079,-0.4689,6,0,0,0,0,0,61.0,2,4,20,4,20,17,2,4,34,0,59,11,5,7,4,78,98,49,0,12,21,1,3,2,0,2,3,4,8,1,21,26,3,3,5,2,6,8,13,7,0,3,51,10,82,11,51,37,12,64,0,0,3,1,49,34,0,15,20,323,103,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357331607217826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637400909211352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3103702223430305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05059522090886962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710198707054136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149600788700497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18234029071700525,0.0,0.08556798776525265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512367032796026,0.08495265912956068,0.07263269836755512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492836347947992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963968193826563,0.0,0.0699299620015551,0.07930878921678346,0.0,0.0811886287339284,0.1564875250849135,0.0,0.0419666230773106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059862915237675,0.10036232526990893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043363381181928895,0.0,0.09434011754097968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07339545273686562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354553702629644,0.0,0.055632261210155874,0.08769265533859515,0.08325443666912342,0.0,0.0,0.09576932543173404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045613900270822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16974353366690362,0.0,0.08109791874863638,0.08318647523144443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3141414061943181,0.11080451791396258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092192815381302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06101357486265972,0.061542464617315024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626421551938662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631242311468147,0.0,0.0,0.09216020452539564,0.08987947507734241,0.0,0.11508165918785665,0.07247124016192767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948660780111621,0.0,0.0,0.1668731822100994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15790148972330062,0.06600387637144775,0.16619230251975395,0.08399908851879387,0.19841759035859116,0.07555887500648582,0.0,0.09376487625340102,0.0,0.20597208084144755,0.0,0.2491758420005095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05874688818958861,0.17693108493433035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822526738426341,0.0,0.06240467304752478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055140630567839584,0.0,0.16309155031993888,0.0658916755988294,0.048397193888555456,0.09539476541876583,0.0,0.1586175784335669,0.0,0.05635065102924919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04895476796383195,0.0,0.1331530587185712,0.0,0.0,0.07694060172440262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428918163931026,0.0,0.11791975240039924,0.0,0.0,0.16034527325873166 bipolarreddit,exactlyimprecise,2019/03/13,"I can't stop myself from eating (Lithium and Zyprexa) Hello, I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar 1. While Zyprexa helps me sleep and lithium mitigates the intrusive thoughts, my appetite (which was already pretty high to begin with) seems to have no end. I gained around 5 lbs in 12 days while in inpatient with no end in sight. Is there a good way people have found to manage this? And is it the antipsychotic or the lithium that causes this side effect? I would like to hear people's experiences with lithium in general. I have no one to talk about this with (the inpatient facility couldn't find me a psychiatrist in time so I'm back to my GP). Thanks in advance.",4.146558441558439,6.395551563492062,4.7979076479076515,81.06577922077925,73.04761904761905,8.073881673881674,28.914862914862915,8.841846274778883,2.4767079365079367,531,22,97,11,11,170,82,126,0.051,0.8029999999999999,0.146,0.9071,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,5,3,0,0,6,0,10,4,1,2,0,20,17,7,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,6,9,1,1,5,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,4,2,10,3,20,11,0,21,0,0,1,0,4,9,0,2,11,65,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21404590462679984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17267054078831864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14914760272109506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19925614036424247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12509179003533732,0.0,0.0,0.1968710394714878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19847527109344992,0.0,0.0,0.3435919661643804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18973561290351826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17728107900959236,0.0,0.0,0.2126733103074539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626891743898511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21861337084827387,0.0,0.130011078429589,0.20493534583929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476181306990107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13143613607621418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26894270146524824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197332785597324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915176671863529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17657903185726387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19410571751230069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621639584475631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15590223241473813,0.0,0.17857749922546498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15398705027960596,0.11310292325972092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539608949667438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13778762398145444,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,raging_loner_,2019/03/13,"Has anyone else felt written off by a medical professional once they find out you're on Bipolar medication? I went to the emergency room this morning for chest pain, feeling faint and uncontrollable shaking. I've been experiencing chest pains and shortness of breath, headaches, bouts of weakness and an inability to control my body temperature recently and it was so intense this morning I felt it warranted getting check out. This was the sickest I had ever felt in my life. After getting to a room the Dr came in, quickly looked at my info and asked about the lamictal and when I last had my levels checked. She said they'd do a blood test to check and left. Someone came to draw my blood and did an ekg. A while later the nurse came back to let me know I'd been discharged. I wasn't checked out by the Dr, when the heart rate and bp would go crazy no one came to check, my resting heart rate would jump up to ~150bpm, my blood pressure would shoot up too. I had to ask about the test results as I recieved the discharge papers as no one came back to let me know. They just checked my lamictal levels and said I was good to go. I was embarrassed when I left as I was still feeling sick and people in the waiting room watched me warble out and were asking if I was ok. Is this a thing that happens? A Dr sees the bp diagnosis and medication and decides whatever's going on is simply a medication or bp issue? I'm doubting myself, if I should have waited to see if I actually passed out or waited until it got worse before going in? The experience just left me bummed and self conscious.",6.814518630603367,6.422695520900322,7.025091734442978,77.27997541138645,64.85209003215434,9.761376962360508,35.014374881785514,9.168548406835145,2.958503158691128,1261,52,245,19,17,408,162,311,0.134,0.835,0.031,-0.9837,0,0,0,1,0,0,25.0,0,0,3,1,14,10,0,5,21,1,26,24,9,2,1,54,60,29,0,7,7,0,5,0,0,4,15,2,3,1,9,25,0,4,11,0,6,13,3,8,0,2,27,12,31,2,39,26,1,51,0,0,4,0,10,24,0,6,14,163,40,4,0.0,0.0,0.08401290946011554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060197195944533426,0.08821094109572919,0.0,0.0,0.24145186286696946,0.0,0.0,0.13239813708576756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07325754675774315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562827622968463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4923288472639511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09655896569719943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191842203887885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07787471311365929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421403103014521,0.0,0.0,0.08706092351048968,0.0,0.2479840946019157,0.0,0.07868609408800448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995853693735067,0.0,0.19571119034465287,0.07220948650953853,0.06885525708077447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613045115603699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040377430650953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985718472537046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09462730120499438,0.07017608328418476,0.0,0.0,0.28061608114443465,0.1760688341989127,0.0608089900726031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07229519821955617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3469126162350257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09168466430543196,0.1166756906900048,0.0,0.1832149048155298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05968502343848998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500499468939432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16378550989994994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372075980914815,0.0,0.08981223634475348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294506967844666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875280300185768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057195383714139125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980770610538887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773461888774242,0.18347084762803145,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,enimicmic,2019/03/13,"My therapist broke my heart all over again In November, I went on a trip with a friend. This triggered a manic episode. I was a god awful person to my then boyfriend. I knew I needed to fix myself, so I went to my psych, asked for a med switch, made an appointment with a new therapist, all that jazz. My actions were just not something my boyfriend could move past. And I don't blame him. I was inconsiderate of his feelings at a delicate time and really hurt him. He broke up with me at the end of January. I told my therapist all about the breakup, all the issues we had, all the fights we had, but I also told her about all the wonderful things. Those were so much more important things to me than any disagreement. We left that topic for a while to work on other things. In my appointment today, we circled back. She said ""it honestly sounds like you two would have been a perfect match if mental illness wasn't as big an issue as it was."" This broke my heart. I have been trying to forget about it, leave well enough alone, or just understand the fact that he's never coming back, and I'll never get to talk to him again (we ended with no contact). Now I'm sitting in my car in the parking lot in my car, trying to compose myself before heading back to work. And normally I could just hide in my office and cry, but I'm getting trained to run new machines this week so I have no where to hide. My heart is just hurtin real bad and I feel like I'm gonna throw up.",3.7307750079897737,4.666769197986579,4.555695110258867,87.67529082774051,71.78523489932886,7.8238414829018845,25.599872163630558,8.11559375814309,1.3279496324704372,1143,34,245,16,21,369,162,298,0.14800000000000002,0.75,0.102,-0.892,0,1,1,0,1,0,36.0,5,1,0,3,19,12,1,0,18,1,18,5,4,2,10,50,38,18,0,6,9,0,2,2,1,2,1,2,0,1,14,16,0,0,5,1,0,10,7,6,1,1,17,4,42,6,39,17,10,45,0,4,0,0,23,16,0,4,20,175,56,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10547662186522737,0.0,0.08144225685088582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06925541134660602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520764118620582,0.0,0.0,0.234928460723784,0.08503302906932049,0.0,0.0,0.08665923894406664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772705337213499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626235949876734,0.0,0.1118676195243118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18040189775181148,0.10522903617945578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029877972591156,0.07275527179312355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868214836040831,0.0,0.1064154983689585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451830609241353,0.0,0.0,0.36204643028161293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902295833012908,0.0,0.0,0.21259120968677406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783497515471853,0.11065060690543713,0.0,0.0,0.0995087929619048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658162517573711,0.0,0.09636447097564284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312245640714855,0.0,0.10263183264012764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10824092697202466,0.07486489521010271,0.07551385367793703,0.15709220361936685,0.19671745579952424,0.0,0.0,0.0997826133999065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972188128945961,0.0,0.08892368317512465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11591741922626304,0.06524198919361211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09687416700515797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840222153110482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185598430991026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35473595130473884,0.20297601993847555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05938433958484796,0.0,0.0965334145030146,0.19462698939767684,0.0,0.13828678597580882,0.0,0.09948391504701797,0.10602013242621372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816907533307903,0.0,0.09156734126943043,0.1888153611213776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110442282558961,0.14828300549363432,0.0,0.0,0.07234496525182227,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Lostsoul852,2019/03/13,Manic Episode Help During a manic episode I typically tell my boyfriend if I have thoughts of cheating or doing something that ik isn’t me or that I will regret. It helps me not doing anything stupid and not in my control and he likes that I do because it reassured him. Should I continue this or is there a better way to fight the mania?,5.925597014925373,6.127713164179107,6.2648880597014935,79.98001865671642,66.61194029850746,8.491044776119404,34.660447761194035,8.07648339933343,2.6258985074626864,270,12,51,3,4,87,49,67,0.119,0.662,0.218,0.7562,0,0,1,0,1,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,1,7,3,0,3,0,8,0,0,1,0,12,9,6,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,10,3,3,6,0,3,0,1,0,0,7,1,0,4,2,39,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29575931127873256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21908967031174187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3178641068987877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4031027498226216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4818025714002981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755869028975066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27668717204119103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3141354073491031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853270570601469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852785931248232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,cosmicpicklecat,2019/03/13,"Feeling guilty I have FMLA and i took a day today because it was impossible to get out of bed. I felt foggy and extremely apathetic. I'm going through a tough depressive episode after just having a mixed episode. My fiance never misses a day even when hes sick. I feel like a loser who can't suck it up and go to work. I work on the phones for mail order pharmacy. You have to be on your toes because of high call volume and doctors and nurses can be fucking ruthless. Ive tried moving departments but I have to get a note from my therapist who I can't get a hold of. I know the stress from my job is triggering these episodes. I was doing better with my old position before I got certified. Then they moved me to this other department and its 10 hours a day at a desk on the phones. Am I just being a baby? How do you guys handle work and being bipolar? ",2.8125892857142856,4.262594301136367,4.666266233766238,83.99886363636367,74.73863636363636,7.5285714285714285,25.07142857142857,8.192908349453996,1.5307496753246754,671,22,136,11,14,229,115,176,0.093,0.847,0.061,-0.6394,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,3,1,5,5,9,2,1,13,0,19,5,1,2,1,20,34,11,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,1,1,8,9,0,1,4,0,0,7,3,7,0,0,5,3,22,2,20,25,0,25,0,3,0,1,12,7,2,0,11,95,30,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19640520986551924,0.0,0.13708080080733395,0.0,0.0,0.14247628958348554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16449699171863028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31168071057124763,0.0,0.13875171846750167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488854624261834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064023654499888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16290992043877767,0.11508698947603052,0.154677389475095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489306236363419,0.25249797792726536,0.0,0.1831090985623669,0.0,0.1288431594855415,0.0,0.0,0.15951033267120496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17020673164431316,0.0,0.0,0.15864707506449127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15986288759665207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853412925710864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07870335115332244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3424390320120437,0.0,0.0,0.12424713934212304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690431158500305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18453488344713204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18704483165913469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527001382193141,0.0,0.17898354443558345,0.10937358551505127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518393431594535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,TheeIggyPop,2019/03/13,"Reclaiming Life After Destructive Mania So I have sought help for mental illness since I was 15 but was always misdiagnosed for 19 years. This resulted in a MASSIVE manic episode (2015) where I lost my job ended up on the street and in the psych ward. Declared bankruptcy. Luckily my folks helped me get off the street I sought help got the right diagnosis. Clawed my way back into working and have held down full time work for over three and a half years. Problem is I’m still depressed and traumatized by the whole thing. I have a pretty serious drinking problem and get after it as soon as I get home from the office. I would use weed but it causes mania for me. I went to an outpatient rehab but the counselor was an idiot so did me no good. I also cannot seem to get back to a healthy diet or exercise regimen. I’m just Blue and am like well got a decade shaved off life expectancy with the diagnosis so what’s the use 🤷‍♂️. Just don’t know how to overcome these three issues. If I even want to or if it’s worth it. 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It was pretty sudden. Just months prior he appeared to be in solid health. I was living about 4 states away over the past 19 years. When I found out what was going on, I decided to move as close as I could to my parents. I'm only 3 hours away now (I would be closer but my company doesn't have operations any closer than where I'm at... Changing jobs is not an option for me at the moment). He's experiencing delirium and is in pretty bad shape. My family (wife and 2 young beautiful daughters) are still back at ""home"" until the kids finish school and they're all moving up. We're in the process of listing the house and all that fun stuff too. I've been fortunate enough to be able to stay at my sister and brother in law's home, rent free - they wouldn't accept any money. So I cook for them, make sure to buy my own groceries, buy some for them, help out around the house, etc. So, all in all, I'm in about as comfortable a spot that I could ask for under the otherwise shitty circumstances. Sorry about the long windedness... But I guess I'm stuck in a bit of an ""episode."" It's understandable under these circumstances, but I don't think I've behaved like this before. This is the second night in a row that I may not go to sleep. It's 4:44; I get up in an hour. Other days, I've not be able to get out of bed even when I when I went to sleep early. I've been sometimes sleeping till late in the afternoon, barely mustering the energy to shower, super low energy, depressed, etc... I've definitely experienced all of those symptoms in my time, but not this intertwined. These days seem to be in a completely random order and far too many. Anyway, I do know about hypomania, I do take my meds, I do therapy as well - intermittently. I'm not in therapy currently. I don't even think I want answers or explanations; I just want to bitch. 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(And the drama while she was out) The postal service apparently got confused when I meant that when I changed my address, I wanted them to update it in their system. Consequently, I went a total 16 days without Lithium for my Bipolar 2. During this time my bf(21) and I (23) discovered some circumstantial coincidences suggesting that our newly moved in gf(21) might be cheating on us with her ex bf. It was a whole thing, shit got weird and she distances herself physically and emotionally when we confronted her (she said our fears were unfounded, “he’s here on a business trip, he’s in a room with two other dudes”. Tried to not give in to doubt, but depression whispers so so close to your ear. Anyway I continually saw texts and snapchats coming up on her phone under dudes name. There were other things too, mostly that she’s been inconsiderate, lying, sneaky and had tried to turn bf and I against each other following an argument of theirs. So after a business week of thought, we broke up with her. She had no reaction, it was almost like everything went as planned. The following three days have been filled with her running out of the house to claim some more territory, coming back and exclaiming about her conquests. She’s on the lease so if. We let her stay on the condition she gets a job and really keeps up with bills. As you can imagine, containing myself while unmedicated has been one fuckload of a task, but I’ve held my tongue. Got the meds back in me last night, started to feel better this morning and a little more throughout the day. Until a friend came over and told me that she had recently messaged him trying to latch on to him. I got so angry that I was shaking, I ripped apart our storage room and consolidated 30 boxes into ten. I threw a mattress in there and set up a corner all nice. When she got home from work she said how sweet it was and thanked me for creating space for her rather than leaving her to sleep on the couch in our living room. I wasn’t doing it to be nice, just don’t want to see the bitch. Round two of returning to meds tonight and I’m up sleepless, readjusting sucks, glad for 24 hour internet service ig. Thanks for letting me vent into the void. 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I can't find the right medication. I'm gaining weight from my new one and can't stop eating. I got fired from my one job after being in the hospital. I'm failing half of my classes at college. I feel like because of my bipolar I'm just not made to be successful in life. I haven't been stable since early highschool. I'm so tired of rapid cycling and my moods shifting so fucking fast. I always used to say that I didn't want to live past 22, but that was even before my diagnosis. I can only see my life becoming more hopeless and I feel bad for my partner of almost a year that puts up with my bullshit. My mom says I wallow in self pity a lot and there's people worse off than me but how is that supposed to help me? I don't want to end up being on disability for the rest of my life, I don't want to drop out of school because of this fucking disorder. But it just doesn't seem to end. 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I love to write, and before I went back on my meds it seemed like I was overflowing with ideas. Now I stare at my notebooks with no ideas coming to mind. I don't miss all the embarrassing behaviors, but I do miss being blissfully ignorant that I was making bad decisions. &#x200B; Thoughts?",3.2122417582417597,5.979625476923076,4.369890109890108,80.27153846153847,78.84615384615384,8.021978021978024,27.747252747252745,8.841846274778883,2.6908021978021965,276,12,49,7,7,90,49,65,0.209,0.6559999999999999,0.135,-0.7151,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,1,2,0,6,1,0,1,1,16,16,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,5,0,0,2,2,7,0,0,5,1,10,2,6,10,2,7,0,4,1,1,2,3,0,2,3,33,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25007512163558737,0.2804510955648814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17747337929794751,0.1927109934791962,0.0,0.0,0.1963964851522322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988164810236802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5210973362883963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127587630447184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19622058848518234,0.2083088582291239,0.0,0.1540628979452675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25637027397032924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330453916138218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101145236338162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18323192383017325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139568366791373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804510955648814,0.0 bipolarreddit,Geishawithak,2019/03/13,"Don't Want a Life with Bipolar [Trigger Warning] I spend most of my time deeply depressed. Suicide attempts, ideation, self harm, isolation, and generally there is just a huge part of me that bullies myself. I've been in therapy for years, been hospitalized, tried every med out there, and I excersize, meditate, and eat well. At best I am minimally functional. I can't handle stress, relationships destroy me, and I can't connect to anyone. This is not a life I am willing to live so now what? I can't keep doing this. Life is almost purely pain and suffering for me. It's torture. I can't have a day without extremely intrusive thoughts of mutilating myself and I have a million other health problems besides bipolar. On top of that my life is generally just a disaster and I can't afford food or a place to live. I hate who I am and I hate that after years of work, I am no different. All I want is to be able to love others and be loved, but I think I'm broken and unfixable. What do I do? Is suicide my only option? I can't do more meds and the hospital was traumatic. I can't go back there.",1.6491896024464836,4.083679660550462,3.8662614678899097,83.52183868501531,82.6697247706422,7.119571865443425,26.5145259938838,8.212053250817874,2.0860269113149856,858,38,167,19,24,294,124,218,0.212,0.718,0.069,-0.9849,2,1,0,0,0,2,32.0,0,0,0,4,9,14,4,1,8,0,30,12,0,1,2,33,41,14,2,3,6,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,1,11,13,2,1,2,0,1,1,11,10,1,1,4,0,27,4,19,34,5,15,0,2,0,2,5,7,0,4,7,125,38,1,0.13270186773259626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13288175178911604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278823139074023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10203954508891673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392624231307316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558172653591539,0.0,0.11429592422813355,0.0,0.0,0.13864520762777047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13578713974804382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180704694933684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604636252075725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541752954817643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620312420668096,0.0,0.14105587998065686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11795151732324792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37492501456000543,0.0,0.0,0.2343563608376053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395372333109935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948037191125473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009257501858181,0.14120414344482132,0.0,0.0,0.1437031910517941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13864520762777047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697776564139338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142472143657177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843698924706496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15200954113487913,0.0,0.0,0.29030860982955425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15175615083467356,0.0,0.0,0.08502999857647671,0.0,0.10535046003721496,0.0773795262350285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009585741106013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15654199955104595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931491594523963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791986501702965,0.0,0.09660854018094683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17091130403631166 bipolarreddit,PrimaryAstronomer,2019/03/14,"Manic but I sleep fine (mostly) Usually my mania is racing thoughts, spending money, and some delusions (like that I was going to have sex with a celebrity I was going to meet that night...though part of me still believes I could have 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️). But usually I sleep fine. Is that a thing?",-0.7453734061930781,1.42544360655738,1.7549726775956316,94.552276867031,96.54098360655738,4.0225865209471765,18.25318761384335,5.82211442006289,-0.1920834244080143,224,7,48,2,9,76,41,61,0.0,0.909,0.091,0.5267,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,7,3,2,0,0,8,10,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,7,3,4,6,3,5,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,4,31,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730680210159264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19351274333301768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27548894153705994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1184097517538895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22744785010056526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624631185583161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4850901239656098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19355701524611624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16101987517899408,0.0,0.2381273192274821,0.19241472705331047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5338726820654343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,BushOfEden,2019/03/14,"Bipolar women who still have PMS, does it make regular PMS turn into PMDD? [PMS EXTREME] I have PCOS and Bipolar 1. My hormones have always been tied to my bipolar diagnosis/symptoms. &#x200B; Lately I'm on a much better treatment for PCOS, but my PMS symptoms are INSANE now especially if I'm put in a difficult situation. Mixed episodes are becoming more common the week before my period. &#x200B; I tried going back on a low dose SSRI to combat PMDD and I got awful side effects. My lithium level is great, it's just now that my hormones are more balanced in the right direction, my PMDD is rearing its ugly head.",4.468706896551723,6.739311905172412,5.616758620689655,75.45410344827587,72.1896551724138,7.398620689655173,31.427586206896553,8.238735603445708,2.743657931034482,495,23,79,8,10,164,79,116,0.173,0.767,0.06,-0.9382,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,5,1,9,10,1,2,0,8,15,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,10,2,8,13,3,19,0,1,0,0,2,9,0,1,8,49,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367505614175398,0.3561416134788822,0.3994012080175808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637333781811522,0.0,0.0,0.1815092677108694,0.13984789979553022,0.0,0.0,0.1453523013548388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438218948443272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340266002454566,0.0,0.13144397429074198,0.1811940644000796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16866828944395168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18539151239154714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970345369143633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081456623803125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652149638080906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14035215009841595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847338484821874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312483905127405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3416406491267338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115813894965838,0.1787632469770434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318299171009271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3994012080175808,0.0 bipolarreddit,summfree,2019/03/14,"A big move has me stuck in a mixed episode, not sure how to cope. Hi, r/BipolarReddit I just moved back home to be with my family for the next 6 months and I'm trying to figure out how to cope until getting to my new pdoc. Surprisingly I have been stabilized on only 12.5 mg of Lamictal (extremely rare-- my body is intensely sensitive to meds, substances, etc.) for the last couple of months. My day to day routine was rather consistent though, so there wasn't that much to throw me off. It's helped more so with my co-morbid BPD mood swings. But after an 11 hr stressful care ride, change of environment, change of sleep schedule, and moving away from my boyfriend? I'm lost. I'm waking up in a deep depression, don't want to shower, don't want to eat. Then when my loud and boisterous family gets me out of the house I start feeding off of their energy and won't stop talking, become obnoxious at restaurants, speed home, racing thoughts and sweating like crazy, stay up all night, then repeat the next day. Luckily I haven't been doing anything too extreme (yet) but I don't know what to do in the meantime, even right now I feel panicked and sweaty and confused yet worn out and can't find the will to do anything. Not to mention I've been feeling intensely lonely even though I am near my family. I start work on Monday, which I'm hoping can add in some needed structure to my day, but at the same time I'm nervous to be adding another facet of change to my life and sending me down more of a spiral. I want to get out and distract myself during this weird state but I really can't find the footing and I'm afraid if I stay around my family I'll get worse. I don't see my new doctor for another couple of weeks, what can I do in the meantime? ",4.647372776679845,5.267512440340912,5.262786561264825,84.58972332015813,69.48295454545455,8.621739130434783,27.23616600790514,8.716276077567194,1.8025233201581023,1377,42,284,22,23,444,197,352,0.122,0.8320000000000001,0.046,-0.9721,1,2,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,1,2,18,15,0,5,14,0,26,9,5,2,2,48,52,26,0,7,9,0,2,1,0,2,2,1,3,0,6,19,2,1,7,0,0,6,11,9,0,0,9,4,31,5,55,39,7,63,0,3,1,0,6,24,0,4,31,176,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892506637976584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14852095500548246,0.0803334313060687,0.0,0.0,0.08478418857874609,0.06938959386447048,0.0,0.0,0.09966385779270946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023716942842878,0.113655110384519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200649511163303,0.0,0.2863883568643643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996994256302081,0.0,0.23279136500942185,0.0,0.07772425637181635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236526785027953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233885226481936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006423299739052,0.11920637556268725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402839256073589,0.0,0.09125690522284564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16495688630456046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18858834361637694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060486496366830525,0.0,0.18103773140143933,0.08962946166637836,0.0,0.10412575057658993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04959397574341943,0.07355828450870691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373973557819994,0.04408708958653135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850847744738793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023716942842878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14405866817355512,0.2877350213365608,0.06633736062455603,0.06691239905598996,0.0,0.17431022603979002,0.19194419840516644,0.08468486416971302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863218382401033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05781055797719181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706513780107048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07191022257752637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09030595637622787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12774578497246,0.19236934097703146,0.0,0.07544533744315922,0.1033705149673336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505087243458709,0.0,0.0,0.07253212517302426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17732222727065566,0.07164110374117584,0.05262012775728229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06126756983458709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15967906014448274,0.0,0.07238571493605718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569636665033905,0.0,0.09196306997175983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,suzy_sweetheart86,2019/03/14,"Experiences on Zyprexa? I've been on Zyprexa since the summer time and was wondering if anyone would like to share their experiences with it. I am not sure if I like it and am considering asking for a switch. PROS: full night sleep every night, no mania symptoms CONS: gained 40 lbs, seems to completely cancel out the effects of my ADHD medicine (vyvanse), bit more prone to depressive episodes Anyone else on this drug?",4.8217293233082685,7.469182526315793,4.481127819548874,82.27289473684213,72.42105263157895,7.5007518796992505,27.962406015037594,8.418075326091056,2.1479458646616543,336,13,59,6,7,102,60,76,0.112,0.767,0.122,0.2123,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,2,0,5,0,0,3,0,5,3,1,1,1,12,8,4,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,4,4,10,5,3,9,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,4,6,33,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360660740515128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27469147771798896,0.20126181444403946,0.0,0.0,0.18363194488826828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21444649380748945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20594909257252172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16918156458418326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277919855016955,0.0,0.1640888526037701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16549751237559882,0.0,0.0,0.3842849532322759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19192780072494944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36866529152220384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17881899966132014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16248575013443334,0.0,0.1965680175557297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18512933206976095,0.20416199144152145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453767405647018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130157925511136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953550898382186,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,sasa_yuri,2019/03/14,"Obligatory “just got diagnosed” post. Hey y’all, I’m a 20 year old college student and the title explains it all. My mother is diagnosed with bipolar (but in denial) and I just remembered yesterday it runs in my dad’s family too, so genetically speaking I probably never stood a chance, lmao. I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation and self harm, and was told i’m Bipolar 1 with mixed features. Im on Depakote & Seroquel, and am doing tons better. I probably won’t post much, but I just wanted to say hello :)",5.164035346097201,6.613924814432992,6.723564064801178,71.53907216494845,68.89690721649485,10.078939617083948,34.47569955817379,10.290406445055957,3.98438851251841,405,20,69,11,7,139,71,97,0.091,0.8440000000000001,0.064,-0.1263,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,1,5,2,0,0,3,0,6,4,0,0,2,17,13,8,1,1,5,2,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,1,2,7,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,5,2,8,1,7,7,3,10,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,0,4,42,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215824598315899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761692588954351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4043516542440272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18778062007271284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15931214931740578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21516169059694645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146429140780982,0.0,0.15362925664170846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090186411208092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3815420128483672,0.0,0.4295256300329149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22564586218250846,0.0,0.0,0.15840558313524036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078008421390468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178838687943957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19033662406332524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117488683890629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12827320610983747 bipolarreddit,beth8666,2019/03/14,"I have to stop reading bpd/lovedones I'm not saying all groups are like that but there is one in particular that is almost a hate group, the reason I read it is to see if I can identify things that I might do wrong and oh boy we are monsters to them I wish I could tell them that we aren't trying to hurt anyone but who I am to upset them even more I understand they want to vent and they have every right but I do need to stop reading cause it just makes me want to keep my head down and not engage. I just need to tell myself that I'm medicated now and try to be self aware of other's feelings as much as I can.",2.81666666666667,3.1328475555555566,4.2451851851851865,91.34333333333336,73.44444444444444,7.185185185185183,21.66666666666667,6.937597516519254,0.2612222222222225,480,9,116,4,9,160,84,135,0.138,0.7709999999999999,0.091,-0.8156,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,2,0,5,0,5,6,1,1,2,0,16,2,1,3,1,31,29,10,0,7,8,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,0,2,10,6,0,3,3,3,0,0,3,4,0,1,0,3,21,2,15,26,3,6,0,1,1,0,15,3,0,3,4,83,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15371529841438905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733581161848632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19333695932073575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576941918902628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122563017521138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139006554550342,0.0,0.1293364465417637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07761785859480698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155659082563255,0.15754268600266924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16433264500191058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13644426296055262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499586967205883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246725579120454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15464236597743228,0.0,0.16284689303589325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11284546334189058,0.2276473047375241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040204594238779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4606462586977391,0.0,0.0,0.15783098018436634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13109432001503676,0.0,0.12207509604645707,0.0,0.0,0.12232537305344075,0.0,0.16014150044825892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566778051042053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683441382035675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198337041221232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084426404886648,0.0,0.0,0.15980642106863202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810850613526086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17652571760591695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16783603799279598,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,comeonrichie,2019/03/14,"Extremely lonely I just went on a couple dates and hooked up with a guy who I knew wasn’t compatible with me. He called me cute and gave me other compliments that I haven’t heard in years. In the end I had to turn him down though, just because I wasn’t getting the right vibes. But now I feel extremely sad about it. I feel like I lost something because he really seemed to like me. Now I feel I know what I’m missing. And it hurts. A lot. I’m going to continue to date and hopefully find someone. I’m not meeting people any other way. I know I deserve happiness but it’s so hard to find. I’m putting in the effort but I have yet to see a positive outcome. I just wish I didn’t feel so intensely lonely. Just needed to get this off my chest.",0.8462500000000013,2.8682230636942703,2.968085191082803,91.2600258757962,82.69426751592357,6.472770700636943,21.914410828025478,7.6454224807358475,0.8809366242038221,579,19,129,10,16,196,91,157,0.103,0.763,0.134,0.6776,0,4,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,2,11,12,0,0,7,0,6,1,1,0,0,28,31,10,0,3,8,0,5,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,9,6,0,0,10,0,0,3,5,6,0,0,9,7,21,6,17,22,1,20,0,6,1,0,9,8,0,3,10,79,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525452937134205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20663102503241165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17306150909561996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875301674849284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15011199427451638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3427836142560797,0.12107898064215993,0.0,0.0,0.3098095291848164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17709617117063287,0.0,0.09632132659467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16781522020561462,0.0,0.18041823950000974,0.15182384376265878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833526591112397,0.0,0.0,0.18143549375692572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862872974833449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16560206456266616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18501116080926305,0.14408873281964205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566979962199792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749845525552792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17037763681573578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10857541112747213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14473790451300836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350563331996094,0.1542913294222718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436027417256079,0.13047660779908174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665165879868031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184349279674417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13452804058107912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571128173307056,0.0,0.0,0.19489755510387372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10914175811265732 bipolarreddit,demusique,2019/03/15,"First time seriously experiencing suicidal thoughts. I don't think I'll act on it, but it's scaring me. I recently made a major fuck up that I've been beating myself up over. I got the courage to tell my shit-hole dad, and he just reiterated every negative thought I already have about myself. &#x200B; I've been on hold with a crisis line for over 30 minutes. I doubt anyone will talk to me soon. &#x200B; I don't know what I want/need right now, but I feel emotionally alone and literally am physically alone. &#x200B; I also experience a lot more of the hypomanic/manic side of BP 1 with occasional mixed episodes. Now I feel like I've suddenly been submerged into a depressive episode and don't know how to cope. &#x200B; Thanks for listening.",5.745734265734264,7.129801650349656,6.655531468531468,72.81560489510493,67.46153846153845,9.915804195804196,34.579720279720284,10.125756701596842,3.660575384615385,608,29,110,15,10,202,97,143,0.254,0.6709999999999999,0.07400000000000001,-0.9811,0,2,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,2,7,8,1,2,6,0,9,1,0,2,0,21,21,7,1,0,3,1,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,1,7,0,0,1,4,5,0,1,7,4,15,3,17,13,3,17,0,1,0,1,5,9,1,2,8,66,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21365771753851293,0.11382493235833112,0.0824863671315687,0.0,0.447037562596825,0.5013380514181164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07212256078419524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884008908215893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602613802752865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690553121707245,0.0,0.0,0.10089725071995342,0.0,0.0,0.10430812680376474,0.07368801273364246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877365179970777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535744866477497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249582702648323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11337344166811353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05039226039685602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769162345500553,0.0,0.0975998878062748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018449082262075,0.0,0.0,0.08808670583638492,0.0,0.0,0.10326782627414012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10587859041201654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282573255672985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290539868100114,0.09015474950457274,0.09496360981771138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660922311902582,0.0,0.16377389338698448,0.06014566180097499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608385875486494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5013380514181164,0.0 bipolarreddit,laeiylaa,2019/03/15,"Hanging isn’t painful like they think; anyone hung themselves remember the experience? All I remember is the act of it and being resuscitated. The just before and as I started to regain consciousness and came to the realisation I wasn’t dead... they were shouting my name but I didn’t quite hear them at first. Honestly thought I was entering the afterlife for a short while. Anyone else have a different experience surviving this type of suicide attempt? I also have decided it might be time to try again. I don’t want to repeat past mistakes but I also this time want it to look like it wasn’t intentional. If I died in a tragic accident the people who think they love me could accept that more than if I died intentionally. ",5.5952941176470565,7.2724326470588245,6.633117647058821,71.72952941176472,68.11764705882354,10.145882352941179,31.982352941176465,10.355215969177356,3.6070817647058817,584,25,102,16,10,195,88,136,0.19,0.657,0.153,-0.8708,1,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,4,4,4,8,0,0,9,0,14,2,0,2,1,26,24,11,4,6,5,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,8,4,0,0,8,0,0,4,5,3,0,1,7,3,16,5,12,13,2,15,0,1,1,1,8,3,0,3,10,74,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25376645453766866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22188256288690625,0.16256961290207503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350110413813346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814688951869723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667997769189646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32933554362827583,0.16576969697208244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254308236775697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104069008998904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13495918101282095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17882541369499752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15503004559107353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13323746740755565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14320009778520806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16831701107084535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16882926190203218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514623637443705,0.10999736581334768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16875827377297628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3594698687635603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230291596747988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17355223127882735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033304625342976,0.0,0.1259611791496254,0.1850360475532904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077221725655946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18716780964149976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,__sortof,2019/03/15,"Am I disabled? Hi /r/BipolarReddit, long time no see. I've been pretty well, so I haven't been coming around much. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder almost 10 years ago. I wasn't all that compliant with my treatment until about 5 years ago, when I overcame my marijuana addiction and started getting my life under control. I was rediagnosed bipolar I from bipolar II, I revamped all my meds, started in on weekly group therapy then graduated to weekly individual therapy. I'd been working at Starbucks the whole time, but last September I started back in school, and things have been great. I haven't had a major episode in over a year. Sometimes I still get very sad and a little suicidal, and there's some intrusive thoughts here and there with some paranoia/psychotic delusions, but I have a 4.0 GPA! The thing is though, to pay for my weekly therapy and my medication, I need to maintain 20 hours a week at Starbucks to be health benefits eligible. I've been juggling school with work since September, and clearly I am capable of doing that. But I'm starting to plan for September, and as part of my program I have to do a placement of 10 hours a week while still maintaining a full time course load, and reddit, I just don't know that this is a good idea. Since September I've been tired all the time, and I have no doubt the psychosis-lite comes on when I am stressed from having 3 papers due in the course of a week while still having to work 20 hours a week while having to go to class while having to go to therapy while having to maintain a social life while having to get exercise while having to cook right so I don't get ill etc etc etc. It seems to me a recipe for relapse. And TBH I'm secretly convinced that I've just been in an extended hypomanic state since September. I have a couple of friends who've been telling me for years that I should just apply for disability. I am in Ontario, Canada, where I can apply for a bursary for students with permanent disabilities which can pay for services including therapy. Then I could ease off on my hours at Starbucks and still maintain my treatment. But honestly, I don't feel ""disabled."" I'm working 20 hours a week and maintaining a 4.0 GPA on a full course load. This, it seems to me, is more than fully able people do. I don't think anyone would consider me disabled either, despite my long track record of being in treatment. I was just hoping to hear some discussion around the word ""disabled,"" its relationship to bipolar disorder, what it means to be given that title by governing agencies, how you feel about the word, the relationship between disability and capability, and whatever else you have to say about the topic! Also, I just wanted to say while I'm here that this community gave me so much support when I really needed it, and I am glad it's still an awesome community full of amazing people.",8.081970488378168,7.332750850091407,8.143370984591277,71.47389168190129,62.436928702010974,11.397466701488641,37.8172499347088,10.686352973137794,4.026910733873073,2293,100,413,49,28,747,237,547,0.062,0.8190000000000001,0.119,0.9885,0,0,0,0,0,0,63.0,0,2,0,6,31,14,0,2,29,0,51,14,0,2,4,65,84,41,1,7,10,0,2,0,1,2,13,3,0,0,20,25,1,1,10,2,2,4,9,3,1,0,16,6,47,11,70,62,19,81,0,1,1,0,15,25,0,8,51,293,67,17,0.063404032590872,0.0,0.0,0.06911975431076234,0.0,0.0,0.11240769862278256,0.0,0.06348997994622604,0.0,0.0,0.05070418195567431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04433357380472466,0.0,0.0,0.11288606288279658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048753787365015636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923391980062752,0.0,0.0,0.07111301390498427,0.050622960790723655,0.0701553560978262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435375843533403,0.0,0.0,0.14533302883382876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05296593340191148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21213676931375827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411796791193043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04898579829920456,0.0,0.13250396049516516,0.0,0.072067945735794,0.05318029435327229,0.0,0.06990316976733457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739552173786666,0.07146095279464107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629745106198249,0.31220100166120346,0.0,0.0,0.07157543522972275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034845198153241365,0.051682748985061935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956828659788546,0.0,0.06354749749307395,0.0,0.11222114726874567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06906557902053972,0.07042758679247614,0.0638728923927656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321851863156592,0.09402657355310358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06866038861804345,0.0,0.08791274577258137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450469530609107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04061824683075521,0.0,0.0,0.1361444054115924,0.0,0.05414669739885633,0.0,0.10084286313557532,0.0,0.1283365319234206,0.050524805027152515,0.11544129996360646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15734541287509052,0.0,0.0,0.06463242656829163,0.0,0.0,0.0627082094692878,0.0,0.17951080242633605,0.0,0.2531727116469908,0.0,0.07262910511297903,0.0,0.0,0.06935372076350384,0.07195014481234177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05541791913028283,0.0,0.3625401849194712,0.0,0.08424564385081132,0.04062674394160354,0.062294140100675015,0.05033571957798587,0.1478856051418439,0.0728736083532234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05231496709493411,0.037397341163935865,0.0,0.4068711237768649,0.0,0.057007839817396065,0.0,0.0,0.07078833809916765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846355634581536,0.0,0.0,0.04504040560198982,0.0,0.0,0.16332047282262807 bipolarreddit,PerfectStormX,2019/03/15,"Creating A Transcendental Platform For Transcending Bipolarity Transmutation Ascension, Lucid Dreaming Hybrid Mindset Voyagers 24/7, INtellectual Light Warrior/Soular Empowerment, Starseeds, Otherkin, Mind Voyagers, Mediums & Psychics, Merkaba-Ascension-5D, Dimension-Shifters, Future Earth(+Discord) Manage and transcend the negative effects of bipolar, and boost the positive potentials [https://www.reddit.com/r/LightWarriorAscension/](https://www.reddit.com/r/LightWarriorAscension/) [https://discord.gg/PRVXJak](https://discord.gg/PRVXJak) [https://disboard.org/server/539367976806383616](https://disboard.org/server/539367976806383616) &#x200B; Comprehensive Introductory Information To The Community, Discord Server And Internal Chatrooms/Mission Objective On Gaia: &#x200B; At the shift of ages, and the arrival of the age of Aquarius, golden age as we battle the last inner and outer demons of the Kali Yuga/age of Pisces, this transition time is like no other. A powerful incentive, a leap of faith: Take the first step: make the Quantum Leap, The Interdimensional Shift and Enter The Lightning Grid &#x200B; \-Psychic tools, trainings, intent, purpose documentations, pantheon and mentorship/guidance for otherkin and humans alike: All-in-One. →Free Speech, Absolute Tolerance for Mutual Respect and Natural Equality ( circles of responsibility but nonhierarchy). →Diverse Environment, rapidly expanding, work in progress pantheon for the golden age with widest assortments of deities helping out. Friendly and Helpful staff whose best interest is to serve your growth and cooperate on creative works/your development. → Knowledge on esoteric/transcendental topics generally not discussed/shunned/overlooked/disregarded/labeled as forbidden or far-fetched knowledge by others (metaphysics-spirit science, free energy, universal law, light body process, central nervous system rewiring, DNA-upgrade, cosmic origin, obscure(d) truths, connected dots and converging rivers). \-""Convert""-friendly- encouraging ex-religious ones for the One-Source path of the truth-seeker lightwarriors/workers/starseeds/otherkin/enlightened human old or mature souls(motto: strength in unity, collaboration versus illusion of separation) \-Various high-quality reddit/youtube/no-nonsense channeling websites/ news/video post feeds ( of spiritual/esoteric/cosmic theme) \-Weavesilk avantgarde spirit-art. (Interactive generative art- subliminal, angelic/demonic/divine, spiritual source channeling and through the higher aspects of self outside of the boundaries of the human psyche box/confines. - Surreal, intricate shapes including the semblance of elements of Gothic dark fantasy, with multiple meanings will be created on the screen and you will recognize your ability to master your soul-mind interaction as well, as I fill the screen with this magical stream of thoughts with a natural flow.) \-Soul ScienceTechnology & Source Transmissions. Logos God, Elohim, Doctor, Scientist, & Architect Of The Age Of Aquarius. \-Multiversal Starseed Community. Come join your star families and twin souls, or otherwise join and commune on the older site with archived content in the interim period \-Soul technology/higher-self descent to physical vessel: Production of DMT internally without the use of physical substance and unlock spirit molecule \-Sections encouraging to showcase your work (media/documents/arts, personal photos) \-A place of unconditional love and growth for Starseeds, Indigos, Human Angels and Walk Ins' to reunite with their long lost Star Family and Soul Mates. \-Server voice chat option for those interested \-Server map for ease of access with descriptions and guidelines for each topic (accessibility) Our own e-literature (growing library of PDF e-books and Links), videos, (multi)media and psychic tools, image-works not available anywhere else and written/crafted/made/authored exclusively by us. \-Mainstream launch Mid-February with over 340 members and counting \-Logos God, Elohim, Doctor, Scientist, & Architect Of The Age Of Aquarius. \-Futuristic & Future-Oriented Community Dedicated To The Universal Law, Spirit Science, Soul Technologies and Extraterrestrial Soul Origins \-A joint planetwide effort for reconstructing the new pantheon for the golden age of Aquarius, fusing the ancient with the new influx past with the future to create the new present in the Now with the help of deities and entities of various origins. Spirituality, lightworkers, ascension. &#x200B; We are highly focused and streamlined, yet loose and flexible (effortless effort being the motto). Our basic aim-quintessence is to harness all available energies to create an interdimensional rift/gate to haven that can propel us to 5th dimension and beyond while still connected to Earth but ultimately undergoing physical transfiguration, also fueled by the bowels of the earth likewise (as above so below)- which constructs a beastly cyclotron that irons out certain unwanted specific frequency-sets, diminishes their influence on the collective. &#x200B; ""As soon as humanity unites on this planet, it will qualify to establish contact with other more advanced civilizations, such as the Agarthans and those from the GF. In fact the Agarthans and some ascended masters such as St. Germain will already help us run the cities of light and the numerous healing centres which will manifest very soon all over the globe. The next step will be visiting other civilizations, but this could only happen after the incarnated human personality has completed the LBP and has ascended at least to 5D by transfiguring from a carbon-based body into crystalline light body."" The three cities of light will be open portals to the multiverse and to numerous advanced humanoid, and later on, other civilisations, such as the dragons. Alone this fact will make the existence of national states and nations obsolete as all the people will recognize their multidimensional nature and will strive to ascend too and be able to live in these cities of light and enjoy the advantages of a higher dimensional life. In the first place, they will enjoy the healing possibilities there which will help all humans advance rapidly in their LBP and also ascend. (Source: [http://www.stankovuniversallaw.com](http://www.stankovuniversallaw.com)) &#x200B; ""You see, nothing is ever just about one thing. We are not just sharing information with you. We are also preparing you for contact. Now, all of the other beings from the other star systems that are connecting with you all through the various channels that you have there on Earth are doing the same thing. And certainly those who channel faeries are readying you for more interactions with the fae."" ""We are excited to witness the coming together of humanity and the Arcturian beings that you will be meeting in the flesh. Now, of course, some have already established connections with physical Arcturian beings. A full and open contact with the fourth and fifth dimensional beings who are from our little star system."" (Source: [www.danielscranton.com](https://www.danielscranton.com) ) &#x200B; \`\`\`Keywords: spirituality, starseeds, occult, esoteric, lightworker, light warrior, spiritual awakening, light body, soul technology, quantum, lucid dreaming, astral projection, psychic, chaos magic, otherkin, bilocation, golden age, mentor, indigo, crystalline, human angels, transliminal souls, walk-ins, lucid dream, mental projection, multilocation\`\`\` &#x200B;",15.771372085163904,16.916748289962833,12.645952010814463,39.242407232173036,46.1189591078067,15.409097668131125,52.927948631294356,14.131278197562025,8.510816951672863,6264,359,619,204,55,1879,580,1076,0.028,0.8109999999999999,0.161,0.9993,3,1,0,0,0,0,398.0,11,13,5,18,23,24,1,1,76,0,42,15,6,10,12,128,54,67,0,2,13,0,0,1,3,13,7,2,0,12,30,75,1,0,9,11,1,16,6,3,1,5,2,13,30,22,141,28,21,104,14,1,3,1,67,44,0,6,40,423,60,11,0.04348923455768456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04504173133485638,0.0959829035254578,0.10433497549065797,0.0,0.6125673771573321,0.4227534409721445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04563926859573682,0.0,0.0,0.1932269425898078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07492424954290212,0.04559763501641967,0.0,0.0,0.034722615043087934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08902614873288896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036329675056252564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03933850246309209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08199555979645325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398384139656143,0.0,0.0,0.06719934947911277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038457386493957725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14574958605147664,0.09189752806971513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035449530595328016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030717732497555193,0.021246643278796398,0.043587638058656106,0.038401790874147836,0.03848660405714915,0.0,0.0,0.04747363683769719,0.0,0.039250732121390304,0.041150565264181864,0.058058803533390387,0.0,0.0,0.04737252573930078,0.0,0.0,0.04382691965701407,0.0,0.08782345903213958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12600652120315547,0.04625129432670666,0.0,0.0,0.04172909346924049,0.0,0.04563463599161155,0.0,0.08840829253957139,0.03307552258108256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04151539529477165,0.030149959436998813,0.07594624431559044,0.09087398780208593,0.0,0.0,0.04902757758622387,0.04165066517148211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03465528937229537,0.0,0.09073751258659052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03473055889510132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032698492085358806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057784630033430213,0.0,0.0,0.03452559444416177,0.025358922401745924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15693658345402894,0.03756073543970927,0.0,0.03588317307118223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039102044714464566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041922070196653664,0.0,0.09498204213683432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4227534409721445,0.0 bipolarreddit,Traggggic,2019/03/15,"What do I do in this state? Hello, I've only been able to talk about this recently even though I got diagnosed quite a few months ago. I'm on medication, and it was working quite well. However, it is not doing so as much anymore. I'm having the issue of not sleeping going on 9 days now even though I take seraquil for sleeping. I'm also far less able to control my mood at all, and I'm dealing with panic attacks as well. I was just curious if anyone had any advice because im a 22 year old college student who hopefully is graduating in a year or two, and I'm honestly unsure what to do in order to be able to do work and focus. Also, in addition to being a college student, I am in engineering....a field not really welcome to mental health issues. I'm just really worried and don't want to end up failing my classes and ultimately failing out of college or talking like 8 years to graduate. It's scary and new to me to deal with this fear and worry when medication isnt enough? ",5.035149253731344,5.016099542288559,7.028072139303482,74.50837686567165,68.50248756218906,9.685074626865672,33.167910447761194,9.516144504307137,3.091271641791045,772,33,148,15,12,274,123,201,0.151,0.775,0.07400000000000001,-0.9445,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,7,14,12,1,2,5,0,17,6,2,1,1,24,28,19,0,3,8,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,9,12,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,5,2,1,5,0,8,6,29,21,5,26,0,2,0,0,7,11,0,4,13,101,17,12,0.3344223602052796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108931219977884,0.09881508147713253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782916270884608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07580622425698863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105523731182674,0.07794529665423537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268179045043198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06795358892833782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12502770449356493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189158542027423,0.22984984595672264,0.0,0.11314388535765972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873298310883796,0.1151825649412957,0.0,0.1472552099354607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254393767271393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335331135699188,0.0,0.08915603717338906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849177686787685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107189538460903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041117872894548,0.2327000389316129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05446062429013415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245968965934164,0.11233969403611838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897757911347709,0.0,0.0819463046269398,0.0,0.0,0.10766239980129576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697333704644285,0.0,0.0,0.08478109152827215,0.0,0.13079086145937271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371328966268678,0.0,0.0,0.14282635154762854,0.0,0.11006724522952194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22310925068954796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381466516604172,0.17919735029276368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21904551396441474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889401748368983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06575032421121847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2004572428902865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623089741203536,0.2264147600240869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153570355044287 bipolarreddit,surrogateuterus,2019/03/15,"Question about something I can't quite seem to piece together Do people have like breakthrough mania and depression even on meds? I read some posts where people talk about the various moods and going through them. I guess, is it like, I shouldn't expect the medication to fix it all? Should I be prepared for stuff to come through? Should my family be prepared? If it does break through, do I tell my Dr? Does that automatically warrant a med change? I haven't had thoughts of suicide or harm for about 8 years. I'm newly diagnosed and just trying to learn the avg picture as well as my own.",3.3383105390185044,5.8270698141592945,3.662381335478681,87.10198712791633,76.52212389380531,6.586967015285603,26.201930812550287,7.686295010490155,1.4739274336283184,471,18,91,7,11,146,78,113,0.11,0.7959999999999999,0.094,-0.6966,0,0,1,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,1,1,7,6,0,0,4,0,12,3,0,0,1,18,18,7,1,5,3,0,0,2,0,3,3,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,4,1,0,2,3,2,1,0,2,0,11,3,16,11,5,7,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,6,3,62,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920479956201012,0.15638287217760866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15636237252137644,0.18426191420961407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177382995335797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990717295183315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17114220329211105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10317484135581452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999896375591944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17738508535444006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4033057981713832,0.1828850669261552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517175564152413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17386762463051747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20336925627989727,0.19309289811117095,0.18159172470566345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16526956177326466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13976036030903266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20782283953662886,0.19857813523484447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459170625167152,0.1586762313303031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14412454327555674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12325550639078152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632285968233509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690748016744215 bipolarreddit,TlyTbs,2019/03/15,"Advice, Bear with Me PLS Hi everyone. I have never posted on Reddit, this is my first time and I wish it were something good, but I need help and am too afraid to turn to anyone right now. This is TMI, but its the internet right? &#x200B; I have been struggling to figure out whether or not I have BP, but my complicated past makes me afraid that I may have BPD so I am just going to lay it out and if anyone out there, help me out. &#x200B; To start. There is a stigma surrounding BPD and a part of me admits to being afraid of lying to myself so I don't get labeled as a crazy BPD. My mother was BPD, and my father was a psychologist who diagnosed me as BPD by the time I was twelve, but he also intensely hated my mother. I have always been incredibly emotionally sensitive, but cognitively I was one of those kids who were three levels above everyone in class, and three levels behind on the social scale. I dread seeing a therapist after being raised by my father who became obsessive and emotionally abusive over my being BDP. But bear with me pls. &#x200B; I think I've had three episodes. My earliest one was when I was thirteen. I remember being overcome with such intense suffering that I collapsed in the shower. It was like I was catatonic. I literally couldn't get up. That night it was as if the world were silent. I remember laying in bed staring at my hands. They kept moving, but I wasn't understanding that I was inside of them. I remember having the intense realization that I was going to watch these hands age, and that I was inside of a living corpse. I was repulsed by that thought and became fascinated with hands for awhile. &#x200B; My second episode happened my first year of college. I'll skip the fluff. One day I just stood up mid class and left. Just dropped out of college. I remember sitting there thinking, what am I doing here? My professor was talking, but I wasn't understanding her words. (I went back to college after a period). &#x200B; But what prompted this post was the most recent episode that scared me. I convinced myself that I was losing my mind. I got obsessive over ""sanely questioning my sanity"" and ""being made to make my suffering."" Like my brain just stalled. I was in the middle of a 20 page research paper and I couldn't get my thoughts together to write it. I reread the things I wrote later and realized that I kept repeating the same words over and over. But I was also under an insane amount of stress. I was also convinced that my teachers were correcting my borderline behavior through subliminal therapy (still kind of convinced...?) This ""episode"" lasted for 4 months, but I had decided to quit smoking weed right around the same time. Still, I had been off of weed for awhile when I think I had an audial hallucination. I was on the verge of falling asleep, in that between stage where you're still conscious but your dreams start to engulf you, when this voice in the back of me head detached itself. It took on a presence of its own (idk how to explain) like it floated out of my brain and was talking. It startled me awake. I snapped out of it, but I was really scared for awhile. &#x200B; I won't lie, a part of my has come to terms with being BPD. I have self mutilated, and I have felt suicidal. I get feeling so intense that I don't know how to relieve my emotions so I will drink and push my limits in risky ways. I have issues maintaining relationships (although that has been improving now that I am consciously working on it). I know dual diagnosis is possible, but a part of me seriously worries if I lie to myself so I don't have to face being BPD, living up to the label put on me by an abusive parent. At the same time I am beginning to string together a family history that may suggest psychosis, although no one in my family is open to talking about it. &#x200B; If you made it to the end, it on me- BPD, BP, BPBPDP. I feel close to myself right now and am looking for answers in my own way. My mental state is getting is affecting my career, and I find myself in a place where people are tiptoeing around me and I can't stand it (but I understand it, and want to start working on fixing it). ",4.111564823420075,5.8676011747211945,5.090233697335815,81.02681894749072,71.94919454770755,8.116860285006195,27.97492642503098,8.751876143730069,2.216757140644362,3296,124,616,62,64,1078,334,807,0.123,0.809,0.067,-0.9949,2,0,2,0,0,0,127.0,0,3,2,7,37,25,1,11,33,0,80,10,8,7,2,119,126,60,1,9,26,5,6,3,0,4,1,1,2,2,48,38,1,3,27,2,0,9,12,16,0,10,48,11,114,9,103,65,12,110,0,3,4,0,31,55,0,9,40,477,162,12,0.0,0.10367742834207966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04275374065199681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496486663571084,0.03640499231351185,0.3318353064432182,0.3721424771502145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061184534587507826,0.0,0.0,0.0778967340792632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728484832839945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4408307608144389,0.09768292948927547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03768829112225943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028216283621383394,0.0,0.0,0.044407143626251054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04286009554236826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14764461726009478,0.0387510977522354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361341632612537,0.0,0.0,0.08249058341443515,0.0,0.044244436988859964,0.0,0.04200857746293022,0.0,0.039988341398156144,0.07443049666583748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429251662644856,0.0,0.04973029850858097,0.03669692379824424,0.03499230148753271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038689561439133116,0.0,0.0,0.043195832469666746,0.04490195665078038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058651802198288236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04566549936837031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04556075426375462,0.04808967670881415,0.035663546511977916,0.0,0.0,0.04753644543624222,0.0,0.0,0.06412474055974847,0.0,0.07726726035486156,0.0,0.036740482563763485,0.04894705924911473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279799893805916,0.0584093161593441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044091511549397916,0.0,0.04417683342255995,0.0,0.03492225958758626,0.04650122636355007,0.0,0.03244139626011617,0.03374407594615797,0.0,0.0,0.041058089001784766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858937481276888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04858118265189736,0.14213676774727024,0.04176603205158852,0.03033198078107598,0.0,0.04571130613413157,0.0,0.0,0.049323566892204206,0.08380423715927775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043982631041244336,0.049012015377804266,0.04653541181536491,0.0,0.0,0.028028515578811992,0.0,0.04319961217526176,0.0469730464235298,0.19824898660235246,0.14945515082506536,0.0,0.0,0.08760634425270539,0.0,0.03486451029559743,0.0,0.045642656562278096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04459943784659162,0.0,0.033682263750063585,0.0,0.0,0.09290322173436204,0.0,0.10482070270676656,0.0,0.050117525077250036,0.04573886811660398,0.0,0.04785735462606379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10549808918183384,0.0,0.0,0.05003398232966938,0.05079919777840999,0.02906674370952422,0.0841031369641565,0.0,0.06946806474641028,0.10204807718243764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04860984605783413,0.0,0.04758938145977496,0.0,0.13664146219809584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02580593800089511,0.0694562653193541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04055834560013469,0.0,0.0,0.05031239672754143,0.0,0.0,0.06370364516657513,0.04443206425035552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3721424771502145,0.02817471686999237 bipolarreddit,saucysadie,2019/03/16,"New diagnosis, nervous about medication Was diagnosed with BP 1, but it must be the mildest ever, based on reading posts on here. I have been taking lexapro for three years, b/c previous therapists diagnosed anxiety disorder. So currently, i have a lot of mania, but very little depression. and the mania doesn't seem too extreme - my therapist thought it was BP 2 but the psych testing came back BP 1, which she agrees with now. I have thought I was the second coming on occasions, that's probably the most manic idea i've had. I have a good career, have always done well in the workplace. I am a mom and wife, and my family loves me. So I really hesitate to medicate. But I also wonder if I should keep taking Lexapro? My therapist said withdrawl from that is ugly, so she doesn't recommend it. But maybe it's been triggering my mania? I was also diagnosed with mixed personality disorder, mainly borderline with a heavy dose of narcissism. So naturally, I am very concerned with medication that could affect my skin (already went through struggles with acne while younger, not going to do that again) and also obsess about my weight. Anyone on a mood stabilizer that others haven't experienced acne or weight gain with? And no lithium for me, it's an unnecessary hit on my kidneys when I am pretty functional unmedicated.",6.240374331550803,7.778282347107442,7.22292173067574,68.6324574623238,66.43801652892563,10.983373845405927,34.070004861448716,10.966923227221727,4.298736217792904,1056,48,173,32,17,354,146,242,0.139,0.773,0.08800000000000001,-0.9039,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,1,17,8,0,3,12,0,25,12,2,2,2,36,39,21,0,4,8,2,3,0,0,2,7,1,0,1,12,14,2,1,5,1,0,4,5,4,1,2,13,5,23,3,23,21,3,21,0,1,0,1,7,7,0,6,9,130,35,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964932377858532,0.2601215175909205,0.09021801438896636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294457874799042,0.0,0.0,0.0758130529772045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833718815591941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400894225777465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339825597220557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08656827949839391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338601273793408,0.33014628500490456,0.0,0.0,0.2485281394829135,0.0,0.0,0.11095608562353204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807632495557456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022131329866476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061620240814465765,0.09094147227802092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12239825931558783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637283195874599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867000741315733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217878043105016,0.09785750135998184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892715818068116,0.0,0.0,0.3276793562442712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698566762511102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047172256716928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467224309872514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384086623039757,0.11030687271139766,0.11690013678389086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108454015138125,0.0,0.06945962246095849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313669386182572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870575095578632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11334901066157507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304372228351774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37766820962241016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17215415981667906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17892342220542004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640640860209973,0.0974868030993622,0.10051075894850653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758193373759104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982193513713783 bipolarreddit,kayday0,2019/03/16,"Help! Acne from lithium I've never had acne or problems with my skin. Since taking lithium though, I have a lot of acne and pimples. My entire skin care routine has always been just a face cleanser (origins) that I use when I shower. I'm going to start washing my face in the morning and at night but I'm wondering if I should add additional products. Anyone else get bad acne from taking lithium? Did it go away with time? Did you find a skin care routine that works? Share your products and secrects please!",2.022006802721087,4.7556510306122455,3.0072448979591826,88.04787414965988,84.61224489795919,4.082993197278912,24.493197278911573,5.46131890053228,0.6338340136054423,403,16,71,2,12,128,69,98,0.064,0.789,0.147,0.8188,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,1,3,5,0,0,4,0,7,6,5,2,1,19,19,8,0,3,4,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,7,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,4,3,9,3,9,14,1,11,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,4,6,43,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17335335987174935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567431509932066,0.2134662292281373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19573979285491294,0.0,0.1739529800907912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4248276145906817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17403911775543365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19041655818441294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088476635004753,0.0,0.2368058276086457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13964413020673572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771209597642962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16068260338192258,0.0,0.0,0.19551048430604945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22869184132306025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993507017582617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17233880396197546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14746224448072315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132875097648005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20469038281998067,0.0,0.12148318076598877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17993657383531114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22593296263148166,0.15167206781149056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,usthcd,2019/03/16,"Feeling a bit shitty, could someone talk to me? [Not an emergency] Can someone talk to me for a bit...? I'm not in the greatest of moods today and could use a sympathetic ear. &#x200B; It's not an emergency, I'm not suicidal or self-destructive, I've been stable for a few months. Just a bit sad and lonely.",1.8929569892473133,4.001788080645163,4.046451612903226,84.4563440860215,79.48387096774194,7.359139784946238,26.46236559139785,8.344100000000001,1.9735397849462357,239,10,48,5,6,82,41,62,0.183,0.626,0.191,-0.2856,0,2,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,8,0,4,1,1,1,0,12,8,3,1,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,6,5,5,3,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,31,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059360907299161,0.2309506114955133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6225075056506391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035039680238717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961029213766577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517086167594834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19827996166527445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.322084076917835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20790101092625266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30553519673993984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801600459685992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415572723569874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309506114955133,0.0 bipolarreddit,Wookie-8,2019/03/16,"Hypomanic and Intrigued I wasn't sleeping well and began being a meaner than normal ass to my wife. I was speeding more than normal. Some of my mannerisms changed too; lots of talking hands and random tears at bullshit commercials and not due to PTSD either. Shes says i have faster than normal speech but in my head I'm talking through cement and can feel the sludgy ripple waddle. I did a walk in to pre-empt the inpending glorious chaos. The nurses kept saying how hot it... they read my history. I hate clothes. Now the seroquel (100mg tab at night) they gave and I capitulatly take, knocks me out. No dreams to remember but living on a grey plateau during the day experiencing the Nothing with my FUCK IT meter pegged out at 3pm. It's working though... It's been 5 years since my last manic episode. 5 years of Li, Buspirone, and fish oil. 5 years since i felt the pull of mania and the energy i miss. I felt i was out of that dark cell in my mind. No more tasting the black that had become me. The sudden surge of electrons through my being gave me a pleasurable headache and brought stinging tears to my eyes... It felt better than stabbing myself i felt better than real. I surmise this is what maybe those other ones feel. I have tears streaming down my face as i right this. Knowing im missspelling as i go and so on. I feel alive as if i never was before I am . As needed",1.9616218264494163,4.3817876227106245,3.0366906656561845,90.05802197802198,81.19780219780219,5.3772388531009225,22.60060629026146,6.647476241863616,0.6017334596438038,1083,36,216,11,29,346,165,273,0.105,0.774,0.12,0.8472,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,0,2,3,6,7,2,0,14,0,15,8,6,1,1,40,35,20,0,5,5,1,9,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,12,14,1,1,9,2,0,4,5,3,1,1,16,18,35,4,35,17,5,31,0,1,3,2,11,14,2,4,13,139,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13625188573559827,0.10497833142964594,0.0,0.0,0.2182205394289052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305085398715907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956310132873946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18713793091677366,0.0,0.4738161481799635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405308603422824,0.0,0.0,0.07011371221736923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180180926303184,0.12661266716773778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13326019670199535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780063370836842,0.10056258304422283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089375012581217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488431071131883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394121347775115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456799489066288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914768979687079,0.09515013988993977,0.0,0.0,0.11577388927072473,0.362627657063984,0.11837633268728485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359834494282699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421230718573658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12340285441447975,0.14042146460411564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397535588050411,0.1053568523477093,0.0,0.19621670668910413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20410499905171087,0.0,0.12345856483911664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275848708101436,0.1983194118732566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212098767976375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109239686044106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981444267091937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23833767940334905 bipolarreddit,chemelion__,2019/03/16,Abilify.. good or bad.odd side affects ? So ive been taking Abilify to give me some mental clarity and i have not slept at all in the week ive been taking it . Has anyone else have similar experiances ?? Thank you in advance ♡ ,0.5528571428571425,3.011532727272733,3.2205194805194814,83.16863636363641,96.72727272727272,7.059740259740257,24.467532467532468,7.957251820313856,2.2805168831168827,176,8,33,5,7,61,36,44,0.0,0.815,0.185,0.8243,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,7,1,1,1,1,6,12,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,5,2,4,9,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,1,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180576463238301,0.3195343220482928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603875459016378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605164840497181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30505595992869616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29916162489645576,0.0,0.2615708327183674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3142784789045267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4689552647313934,0.0,0.0,0.287116001125164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501528525500345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,SynethestheticOpal,2019/03/16,"Delusion or just incredibly elevated anxiety? Hi everybody. Last year I was diagnosed as type 2 because I haven’t experienced what I considered to be full blown mania—only hypo, and I’m extremely prone to severe depressed “lows.” However, I’ve been wondering a lot lately whether or not I’m just experiencing an intense level of anxiety/insecurity or if this crosses into the area of what would be considered a delusion. I haven’t had any of the more obvious signs of delusions that I’ve read about on here (i.e. thinking I’m God or somebody else or an informant, etc.), but I most definitely feel all the time like I can tell 95-100% exactly what people are thinking about me to the point that it hinders me from functioning in many instances. For example, I will literally coup myself up in my room for days/weeks because I feel like I absolutely know exactly what my roommates or friends/family/professors are thinking of me in these high and low emotional states and I don’t want to even confront them for this reason. I’ve even accused my mom of basically “thinking her thoughts” too loud at me or even lashing out when I think she’s judging me or thinking something extremely negative. She’ll obviously say things like I’m assuming way too much and I have no clue what I’m talking about and I still don’t believe her. I know logically when I think about this that it’s ridiculous but part of me also lets it affect me to the point that I will hide myself or freak out about it. The fact that I’m partially able to understand that this obviously isn’t the true case is what dissuades me from calling it a delusion, but it’s also so strong of a fear and “observation” that it makes me wonder. What do you think? Has anybody else experienced anything this? ",7.1868780259253455,7.184570311572702,7.854371388411684,70.34189754802439,63.98516320474777,11.486428236764016,38.211619553334366,11.10113133989139,4.396327002967359,1413,69,255,37,19,472,183,337,0.111,0.802,0.087,-0.7779,1,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,1,1,19,12,2,1,13,0,22,1,0,3,8,61,46,26,0,3,17,1,2,3,0,4,1,2,1,0,28,9,0,0,20,1,0,1,8,7,0,0,4,7,36,5,34,35,8,28,0,3,0,0,13,18,0,15,10,177,64,2,0.1102338429948765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763079288332244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496279331606152,0.0,0.08432858816778399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071306025264717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439505507227462,0.0,0.0,0.12419579246503255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256107858027857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494424744425467,0.11188503023563373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18417246184886849,0.1239982362995986,0.0,0.0,0.12293987393970975,0.2184252409739467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240437202018438,0.11147508634918928,0.07875107946130308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11646810738203968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116327449187385,0.08985529475585959,0.1243485763464567,0.0,0.0,0.11272157303362433,0.0,0.1615640626824374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937168713147144,0.0,0.0,0.07358194617889921,0.11175981491099646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910454462496782,0.0,0.0,0.0810345582697714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937250975387075,0.0,0.07642226699740225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084132247140447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026367383832347,0.0,0.0,0.11333875001935807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876623764120107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453286576827385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486339787575754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803288941056832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860178741552288,0.09634923753082918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07323446709752013,0.5650671643489775,0.0,0.08751335809818266,0.06427824032739539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475731816293973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501877665876775,0.08749849360628857,0.08842293964758181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23908780093404755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830695930009485,0.0,0.0,0.07098698073019118 bipolarreddit,dcultravillain,2019/03/16,"Doctor wants medication changes There's a long history with my psychiatric illnesses and medications but I'll jump ahead. 2 and a half years ago I got extreme PPD and was hospitalized twice. I was only on a small bit of klonopin at first but it stopped working. Everything I tried made me crazier until one doctor put me on Celexa. After initial anxiety it changed my life. Saw a regular psych who tried different things so I wouldn't get manic and I was hesitant. Had a huge drunken manic episode, was hospitalized again and prescribed Abilify 10 and it helped a lot. That was almost a year ago. &#x200B; I was doing okay, taking sleeping pills at night, stomach meds, ativan, propanolol. I needed birth control for PMDD Recently Psych took me off sleeping pills and ended propanolol (I get severe anxiety an panic attacks). My Birth Control made my anxiety unbearable one week every month so my med doc switched me to something else and increased my stomach meds (acid reflux/gastritis. I started an anti inflammatory diet being tired of this mess and was exercising doing well and happy, which my psych thought was hypomania, although I was still depressed a lot. She wanted me to drop my dosage to 10 mg while remaining on 10mg Abilify. I am terribly med sensitive and many things cause crazy reactions for a long time. That is a big cut for me. So basically in one month, new birth control (also sensitive), no sleep meds, less anti anxiety meds, more stomach problems and now a decrease in a med that I had no problem with. I'm two days in and already going crazy, what can I expect? &#x200B; Long story short, Lots of med changes. On Abilify 10mg, ativan twice a day, Loe Estrin Fe, and Dropping 20 mg Citalopram to 10 and feel a mess.",5.414672897196262,7.392562330218072,5.886135825545175,75.73137196261685,69.0,8.874317757009345,34.023800623052956,9.3871,3.4542467538940813,1392,68,233,30,25,448,184,321,0.214,0.741,0.045,-0.995,1,0,1,0,0,0,49.0,0,0,0,6,9,12,2,1,16,1,18,17,6,6,0,39,34,24,0,7,2,0,1,0,0,1,10,0,0,0,12,17,1,4,2,1,0,5,3,9,1,8,17,3,28,3,25,15,7,51,0,1,1,0,3,14,0,4,30,142,40,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039195119599595,0.0,0.06799963579693467,0.0,0.07493770718857165,0.05430567011184426,0.0,0.1471556770300233,0.1650302939842253,0.0,0.0,0.2077964624889524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772546798607649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413749343757244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975979441501068,0.2155116578373702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22849238809290515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875895472020977,0.0,0.0584887022931595,0.0,0.0,0.07094897152349992,0.0,0.13901257871620826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05672807243009322,0.0,0.06014596307662351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05721506805653361,0.0,0.06103095747978025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03433611468883429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05776215596343935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07095781935160489,0.0,0.03859344472007936,0.0,0.05431189812200383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722888855335072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04551702189123369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0479651345989574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18028822381386994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17319779766723606,0.0,0.12851159517563718,0.0,0.06884763130600212,0.0,0.0,0.6034401341441978,0.1368194925776799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10840637078912477,0.0,0.0,0.05035261282378771,0.0,0.06558556744964561,0.0,0.06372666707114416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13804780843319225,0.0516467773999512,0.0,0.0796749179088771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299567728701556,0.0,0.06826587777031003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06705054642401362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671624040109573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20386987708911067,0.0,0.0,0.052278575559360906,0.0,0.0,0.048065337227012034,0.0,0.054231084023963566,0.05677378063304304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05105805170293756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902295622740067,0.0,0.0,0.05391103606866285,0.03959745812556534,0.07804977779839736,0.0,0.0,0.07544782408096268,0.09220958345713874,0.0,0.06633584186977666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08010730452506662,0.0,0.05447136748300571,0.0,0.06105707307572316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049437529673777146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650302939842253,0.08746051486807896 bipolarreddit,usersarx,2019/03/16,"I honestly don't know what to do \*warning rant ahead and me being manic reaching out for something, anything!\* I am trying to dumb this down as much as I can to fit a general post, so here it goes... YEARS ago, i disowned my friends. Swore them off like they were a plague, mainly to reinforce my manic state of I wasn't good enough for them. Because, seriously, I am not good enough., My mood swings are prevalent, my lack of funds from being manic are there, my general lack of well being keeps me from hanging out so to speak. I dont know what to do. I miss them. The whole friendship arc has worn itself out and I am a side character waiting to be in the story again. So, instead of that, I cut things, Everythings. and here I am, alone and depressed years later reaching out to the interwebs to see what they have to say about my relationship issues. I want to be a part of someones life. I want to be a human again. I want a friend. I want to say ""sure I am ok"" to someone and actually mean it. Its hard and I hate crying and I hate that this is rant and this is how my life is and I hate it. Sorry. Thanks for reading. I really don't know what to do. ",0.9430252100840306,3.0789665462184885,2.6992705882352968,92.66631764705885,83.11764705882355,5.656739495798321,20.86453781512605,6.918507183188421,0.3895171092436973,890,27,196,11,25,294,121,238,0.18600000000000005,0.6759999999999999,0.139,-0.9202,0,1,1,0,0,0,40.0,0,0,5,1,12,19,5,0,9,1,27,2,0,1,1,30,44,15,0,6,1,0,1,1,2,0,2,3,0,1,15,13,0,2,4,1,1,1,5,8,1,0,3,5,34,10,36,35,8,19,0,2,1,0,12,9,1,0,8,150,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.12593057955018513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11439176410370028,0.0,0.0,0.1336530547369354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10619411442029007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866543040283902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14175130764689925,0.0,0.0,0.1111473943064256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512413096024545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666786608008408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159784989228113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19940171188019784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21647583790642247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560014294203445,0.3822195320517826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13469081623206985,0.0,0.11470228613577492,0.0,0.0,0.21276142485588104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822984446298649,0.06304550675474539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405692585080963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948638832041459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13974457398012674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359068950100376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908122781192108,0.0,0.0826703680743785,0.0,0.0,0.1385474384645479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052456042189348,0.0,0.0,0.10283319823932556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21868103268811112,0.09934615102845472,0.0,0.14445677444494293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12162461625069185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880850069172645,0.0,0.0,0.0857326316277162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876139709851325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3044594191283269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11602812697619615,0.0,0.0,0.1440755921942122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16620318029217554 bipolarreddit,SupremoZanne,2019/03/16,"What kind of image would you use to illustrate being bipolar? and, what description would you use with that image?",5.2360000000000015,8.287782600000002,4.830000000000002,78.24500000000002,73.0,8.0,25.0,8.841846274778883,2.3885,92,3,14,2,2,28,15,20,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,6,5,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,12,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4220899312406287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7001518003856975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5758711195762015,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,dankblacksheep,2019/03/16,I can’t stop spending money I’m just spending it left and right on really stupid shit Ike more clothes and makeup I don’t need. I’m not in any debt but it’s really unhealthy to just shop when I’m feeling overly happy or sad. ,-0.6279591836734717,1.5718943673469388,1.8297959183673491,94.41163265306123,95.12244897959185,4.4326530612244905,17.20408163265306,6.18269132825596,-0.1939877551020408,180,5,39,2,7,61,37,49,0.274,0.58,0.147,-0.8031,1,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,10,7,5,0,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,1,5,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,2,1,4,7,1,7,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,1,2,19,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449853510322097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18215545307561692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834975161289707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39141746828977614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671240787019156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4615763971032997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30765529596273355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697959727297577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30118881614146714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,green170,2019/03/17,"Bipolar with No Friends Can someone tell me what it is like to be bipolar with no friends? Maybe we can relate. Because I don’t really see my symptoms much because I’m mostly by myself. And tbh i am sad about it but simultaneously, I rather not expose myself because I don’t want anyone to deal with that as well. However, I’d like to know you see your symptoms? Or, is there anyone out there like this as well? Sometimes, I get confused about it all..",2.773333333333333,4.761961166666668,4.0063888888888926,86.37625000000004,76.22222222222223,5.833333333333334,26.805555555555557,6.6274283507984215,1.125222222222222,355,14,70,3,8,116,59,90,0.084,0.6970000000000001,0.219,0.9023,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,2,0,0,7,9,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,0,1,15,14,5,0,2,4,0,0,3,2,0,4,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,2,0,0,2,12,7,12,13,3,1,0,1,2,0,7,1,0,3,3,52,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2724994745217127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563521739543666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20089076868854328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30109470430595603,0.0,0.10180563089166722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070892482995732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855943617807678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957617600118549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14324356894101264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483147609672793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105543189650049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16510314844766066,0.0,0.192720241817696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4050656092231407,0.0,0.0,0.17031509695795696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114932712852891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35040275485760325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,iamfuckingmanic,2019/03/17,"I want to come off risperidone. I’m on 8mg of risperidone a day, my eye sight was fine and I didn’t need to wear glasses before starting risperidone 18 months ago. But I went to the opticians for the 3rd time in a year and yet again I need a new prescription. My left eye isn’t responding to anything and won’t focus but my left eye is doing ok (ish) I think it’s the risperidone causing all of this but I’m terrified to become delusional again if I stop it!",1.5364146620847663,3.3973459175257767,3.0896219931271496,92.1079266895762,79.51546391752578,6.372966781214204,24.179839633447884,7.3871296695380915,0.9658073310423828,362,13,80,5,9,119,62,97,0.096,0.845,0.059,-0.7385,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,6,1,6,4,4,1,1,15,15,7,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,4,9,2,11,11,1,18,0,0,4,0,1,5,0,1,11,46,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107968937421059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19569056941195306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626333379088129,0.20235176520762227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2442878917517075,0.0,0.20484514199083245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533624489931336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5167445710678708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898110795380354,0.0,0.0,0.35265395301297797,0.0,0.2296704016399141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16831729502624615,0.0,0.0,0.19881290210103728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237375252179058,0.0,0.0,0.13866410652923933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026162706214698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204445947528216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531365234646141 bipolarreddit,BigBenW3,2019/03/17,"Gabapentin common? I know Gabapentin is common for anxiety disorders, but what about Bipolar? I see it’s used sometimes for it. How well did it work for you?",2.496724137931036,5.462377206896554,2.2926724137931025,91.53831896551728,87.27586206896551,5.658620689655173,27.9396551724138,7.1686216300943375,1.761682758620689,125,6,23,2,4,37,22,29,0.047,0.841,0.112,0.4291,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,4,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,1,4,4,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,16,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3149897562036172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4719043682367134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22628856430687594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3281136626400741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4072340363413886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3556222065896303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3702152064046996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997609339972295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Happypuke,2019/03/17,"How do I ask for forgiveness? I [m34] had been treating what I thought was just depression for years. I had a long hypomania then crashed into depression hard. I got paranoid and delusional and asked some hurtful questions to my girlfriend at the time. She was really hurt and iced me out. I spiraled and was suicidal. I was coherent just enough and I made an emergency doctor appointment and was diagnosed bipolar. She ended up talking to me 5 days later. I tried to explain the diagnosis. she left me officially. Its been 3 weeks and I finaly am starting to feel stable. I don't know how to explain or ask for forgiveness. I can't make her take me back. I just wish there was a way to Express that it wasn't really me. It doenst feel like it was me. I feel sick that i hurt her and in my right mind would have never done that. I am trying so hard to be well, but how do I show her? I am desperately in love with her. I am at a loss. Maybe I can't. If i can't, how can I go on knowing that any setback in treatment can ruin everything and drive everyone away in seconds?",1.4111240232418325,3.6884501244239662,3.4241274293728736,87.31768182728916,82.3179723502304,7.091885393708678,25.10298537367261,8.18289091462,1.717703025445803,835,34,174,18,23,282,122,217,0.16,0.767,0.073,-0.9488,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,11,13,0,0,6,0,28,5,0,6,1,40,47,18,1,3,6,0,5,1,1,1,4,0,0,0,9,12,0,0,11,1,0,2,6,7,1,1,16,5,37,6,22,29,2,27,0,7,0,1,19,13,0,4,12,130,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08850045230891927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3649932537144955,0.0,0.12227190488043355,0.10007051978575328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393028262864599,0.0,0.22418078279231227,0.1320905391118759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332049929846975,0.0,0.13317959189701087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152664408310178,0.13447060838762684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243554565506292,0.1169624840862782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974098441372772,0.0929728715251554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396222098272727,0.0,0.1040857751886823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2331618361128802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4179564139465209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304435735938706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14139875237153604,0.0,0.0,0.06358039765130034,0.0,0.0,0.11517083230948436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745747898319475,0.12314271335668064,0.0868702356267168,0.0,0.13074428853073733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13140547368130992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037288642283212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457878846858917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16674352056826694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113984053828818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09211458369104766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14235330752703648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784995691341897,0.10460253566848356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331754504006926,0.07588635763092699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17671461145404865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10329999614417336,0.10439138947639212,0.0,0.1170125331941574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965591265417266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09244854694481698,0.0,0.0,0.08380664093156724 bipolarreddit,Chernushka,2019/03/17,"People who have pets and live alone, how do you manage things if you get hospitalized? I was recently diagnosed with BP1, I'm 19 years old. Thankfully so far I've never been hospitalized, but sadly it's probably in the cards for me like many of you here. I'm currently living at my mother's home but will most likely move out this summer due to re-entering college, and I'll bring my cat with me. I can't see myself leaving him behind. I'll also have my mouse if the little fella is still alive by then. I just have one question. In case you have to be hospitalized (since even on medication BP is still pretty unpredictable), what solution do you take for your pets? I wouldn't be able to get my family to care for them because the university I've applied to is 240km away from my closest relatives, and I don't trust friends because my mum and I had a bad experience with one of her friends who said she was going to pet-sit, but ended up leaving the cats alone. ~~I'm also not a really social person and I don't like the idea of using people as a means to an end lol~~",5.230885142255005,5.21051567123288,6.497808219178082,78.48135932560591,68.08675799086757,9.843484369511767,28.26167896030909,9.661875296680813,2.3411746399719,848,25,173,17,13,288,140,219,0.1,0.795,0.105,0.2605,1,3,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,6,1,0,9,10,0,0,9,1,20,2,0,2,1,24,34,16,0,3,7,2,0,3,2,2,2,1,3,1,6,9,0,0,3,0,0,3,6,2,0,2,5,2,26,8,27,25,1,25,0,1,1,0,20,10,0,4,15,113,32,2,0.12965478086842666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685665022873318,0.0,0.20736976283499728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181493460028325,0.0,0.10825632634132136,0.15807270201045046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13219169013353566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159687336975645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296713045432365,0.0,0.0,0.08563575996023473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682725449119978,0.12222698842275435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20034192415271304,0.0,0.1354785434000344,0.0,0.07368579986312447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005431661569444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14636446596628588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745713845343737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19002833044909606,0.12994815196324844,0.22897509378504324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144959767804382,0.0,0.14123206596717708,0.0,0.13061355135018424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13780251323539347,0.0,0.0,0.09999775996943314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13605088223971326,0.0,0.1757148700170971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17977259998958964,0.11320955363627963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13190552387830135,0.1397897828566663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14524302746319134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08306017262472047,0.0,0.1280184544382605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333138725194248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10331807389106866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10725177454989908,0.0,0.0,0.13216672128379645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070849509668672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748425947648816,0.0,0.0,0.11936870255446975,0.0,0.0,0.08613687526058847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11198010202347727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08349342798029766 bipolarreddit,yepandhuh,2019/03/17,"Latuda Withdrawl symptom- swollen gland? I stopped taking latuda last Sunday, and I haven't really had any withdrawl symptoms that I've noticed. The one thing that I have noticed is my left gland is sore, which started pretty much after I dropped the latuda. Has anybody had this as a withdrawl symptom? Thanks for any help you can give. ",4.6553005464480846,7.507323737704923,3.850409836065573,85.5650136612022,73.91803278688525,4.722404371584699,31.478142076502728,5.46131890053228,1.6010961748633874,272,13,43,1,6,80,45,61,0.07,0.7829999999999999,0.146,0.6966,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,8,7,0,0,0,2,12,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,6,1,3,10,1,7,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,28,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26948628833437105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900755644774404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281019855282294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615119234474899,0.0,0.0,0.21528152657743976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14565694105649787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4511712560149594,0.0,0.0,0.13426593748894766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015813325504856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269346406979308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024570842709946,0.0,0.0,0.1656553255282514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6178352508543582,0.14897789228370906,0.0,0.0,0.1824222475167386,0.0,0.0,0.13163653489435642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,butidontwannadie,2019/03/17,"What do you consider the difference between Bipolar I and Bipolar II, based on your perspective? I have Bipolar II and describe it as the sadder instead of madder version, but I don’t know if that’s really accurate. My manic episodes are generally not dangerous and I have no temper or anger issues. But my depressive states are lengthy and horrid and dark and deadly. I only know what I’ve endured though. ",6.668399999999997,7.9412590399999985,7.251999999999999,69.78600000000003,65.26666666666667,10.266666666666666,37.66666666666667,10.355215969177356,4.413266666666667,328,17,51,8,5,108,54,75,0.274,0.687,0.039,-0.9646,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,2,5,4,0,2,0,6,3,0,0,0,14,8,12,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,9,0,4,8,1,2,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,39,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3491573956781867,0.0,0.0,0.4235409087899749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4231164833941588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4455778471282614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083134620042169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596999290602207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3982885778507629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,still_treading_water,2019/03/18,"Question about Mania for Bipolar Depression (xpost in r/bipolar) What was your shortest manic episode? Average length? I have undetermined depression -- I'm on a mood stabilizer and Bipolar Depression has been thrown around a few times, but I have very infrequent/very short mania. Just wanted to get the feel for if this sounds like the right diagnosis.",6.021000000000001,9.26775776666667,5.616666666666671,72.60500000000002,71.33333333333334,9.333333333333334,33.33333333333333,9.725611199111238,4.059833333333334,286,14,43,8,6,88,48,60,0.122,0.8240000000000001,0.054000000000000006,-0.4871,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,4,0,5,2,0,0,0,9,9,3,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,3,1,7,7,1,6,0,3,0,0,2,5,0,3,2,26,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24111249724431785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.699843984462687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13694908801565245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14150710899946056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232284608810813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034121921130759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313030518377705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15793387886712773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4469565874614687,0.15975340246733774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,thatsmypurse14,2019/03/18,"Lack of empathy I know this is not really related to my bipolar disorder, but I just recently found out my brother is in jail again. This time he has a felony charge of meth possession (living in Texas). My dad and I thought that he quit doing meth, but we were very wrong. He has been in jail multiple times and has had multiple suicide attempts (one of which really fucked me up when I found out about it). He apparently lit himself on fire ""accidently"". Anyways, I don't know what's going on with me, but I have absolutely no sympathy for him. Yes, it's sad, but idk.. I just don't feel much. Just figured I'd reach out and see if anyone has had a similar experience. ",3.065905673274095,4.785228263157896,4.917935748462064,81.33866712235134,74.63909774436091,9.34764183185236,27.88038277511961,9.800150414767053,2.7460736842105256,521,21,107,15,11,178,89,133,0.238,0.706,0.055,-0.9845,1,0,2,0,0,1,22.0,1,0,0,2,7,3,1,0,2,1,14,2,0,0,0,25,23,9,1,2,9,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,7,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,7,4,15,0,16,16,2,15,0,1,2,1,9,9,1,1,5,73,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15102810104299258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24754795835183135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21128368170799294,0.0,0.0,0.1092131099009482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4736527773058054,0.0,0.19968307053375664,0.0,0.0,0.1227544280378594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374094238705383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19072675281200613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15878052052579905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14636319621122826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22973631899336716,0.0,0.0,0.27674271032446085,0.0,0.21326812197262726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17211933764755696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23626249472497274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17147519340490494,0.25189580039886456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17821775820005115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361556476111453,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,_kza_,2019/03/18,"What was your tipping point in going to the doctor? Hello everyone, new person here. As the title states, what was the last straw that drove you to go to the doctor with concerns? Throughout my lifetime I have exhibited symptoms of bipolar disorder, or at least how google defines it anyway. My actions have certainly caused much trouble in my life at school when I was younger, in my marriage, and in my career. Whenever I try to explain myself to my wife I am always at a loss for words about why I do or say the things that I do. My actions are my own and not the result of something else, though. I honestly have no idea what to call it, or what to do about it. It would just be nice to talk to someone who understands what I am trying to say. Thank you.",4.658800000000003,5.432522613333332,5.285333333333334,83.88600000000002,69.53333333333333,7.866666666666667,29.666666666666664,7.908726449838941,1.8876666666666668,592,22,117,7,10,191,93,150,0.064,0.8640000000000001,0.07200000000000001,0.2869,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,3,0,1,8,6,0,0,7,0,14,5,0,3,1,17,20,9,0,1,5,1,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,1,13,3,0,0,3,0,0,5,2,2,0,0,4,2,20,4,24,14,3,17,0,1,0,0,13,8,0,3,3,94,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15228300274827045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18687860761210506,0.0,0.0,0.1880066480860668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20975085521571665,0.3746468748281046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15288540970342265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17487851664039178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080230952732208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20660147073707646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14918151622520429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292687895164811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13453696081204872,0.0,0.0,0.17675686693791742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15980149367764493,0.0,0.0,0.17300817357898596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.291081483057414,0.0,0.18522078251830115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506787478742468,0.14089376036800227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902224874640053,0.0,0.1471003909432836,0.0,0.16849547016015992,0.0,0.0,0.12158692341099288,0.0,0.17981114500797987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485101175048587,0.0,0.0,0.19052489636810327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651424213832794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000848699137693,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,beebop19,2019/03/18,"Has anyone ever been in an extended stay hospital? I’ve been here three weeks, and after some initial drama/mood issues I’ve been an almost stereotypical mental patient — doing yoga, watercolors etc. But damn is it a stifling, tense environment. I know i’m lucky my insurance is letting me stay here, but it’s more difficult than i thought it’d be.Feels like fancy jail sometimes tbh since we can’t leave and are in an isolated are, though the staff are nice (tho extremely overworked). Any tips to cope? Tips in general? ",3.6195876288659785,6.3656415257731975,4.7373298969072195,78.37506701030931,77.04123711340206,8.003711340206186,27.22577319587629,8.841846274778883,2.6212729896907216,416,17,71,10,10,136,76,97,0.122,0.789,0.09,-0.2913,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,0,5,5,1,0,5,0,13,0,0,0,1,12,16,6,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,4,0,5,3,6,10,3,8,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,3,4,44,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357574940252011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16010614846861312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646239653916361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625759905545887,0.0,0.21296746260937494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904470161833397,0.16819720107192745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457364639052191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293907574451528,0.0,0.0,0.2492952132768853,0.0,0.2407516597153035,0.0,0.1150232831637927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372664765796876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19475703235487196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328545438478353,0.0,0.0,0.5018919004803866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23131697907337126,0.18691174761296486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18885443934242596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Laura7777,2019/03/18,"Bipolar 3 checking in. How do people combat boredom, restlessness, and general apathy about everything during a depressive episode? Trying really hard not to blow up my entire life because I’m feeling low, restless, and dissatisfied for now for no discernible reason other than I’m in a low cycle. I don’t know how to cope. I’m newly diagnosed and having awareness has been helpful in decision making but not in emotional feels.",7.736842105263157,9.176192684210527,8.503789473684215,61.1675263157895,62.94736842105264,11.343157894736846,38.88421052631579,11.20814326018867,5.3051242105263166,348,18,46,10,5,117,59,76,0.254,0.705,0.041,-0.8505,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,2,2,0,5,3,0,4,0,16,12,6,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,6,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,1,3,2,0,11,11,0,8,0,3,0,0,1,7,0,0,1,31,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913713046225075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270390967733716,0.318636488409596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3531335916903021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821437133612564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174690124733913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812232775703097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104233999899637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17252996324437192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22174092864438286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20955343973550772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176423668212712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20111421384209116,0.3227765254283281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131406368047814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,RLRR__LRLL,2019/03/18,"Lost it during D&D Hey everyone, BP1, long time sufferer and diagnosed almost for a decade now (around 7-8yrs ago) &#x200B; I have been struggling, recently I have found out I am pre-diabetic, and that my years of self medication mixed with regular meds has done a number on my liver. This has caused me to go on a diet, and change my regular intake of food, essentially being 275lbs at 5'8"" is not a great thing. I've been agitated by just about everything, couple that with a mixed state and it's a powder keg waiting to explode in rage. &#x200B; To get to the point; I was being nit-picked by 2 fairly pedantic friends who are playing characters in the game I am DM'ing. I could tell that this was going to be something they were planning on doing for the entirety of the session, so I decided to try and nip it in the bud, what started off as a joke turned into a full on rage rant. No profanity or throwing specific individuals under the bus, more so a blanket warning that I will not be taking shit from anyone. &#x200B; My face turned red, a couple members laughed at the rant, others seemed stunned, and I felt like a prick. I haven't apologized yet, but now I feel like a complete asshole. I feel stretched thin, down, and exhausted. &#x200B; So yeah,... I'm a dick head dungeon master... &#x200B;",5.957259999999998,6.742270836000003,6.4101500000000025,76.93482500000002,66.64,9.29,33.625,9.354420925462401,3.07058,1039,45,189,19,16,337,164,250,0.139,0.7979999999999999,0.063,-0.9391,0,0,1,0,0,0,61.0,0,0,1,3,9,15,4,1,20,1,22,11,6,1,0,27,37,13,0,1,5,0,4,2,2,1,3,0,0,1,13,12,2,1,6,4,0,3,4,8,0,0,9,5,18,7,33,22,2,32,0,2,1,1,9,19,3,3,11,127,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980993867789187,0.0,0.07885992972029959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5119741986494815,0.4784686429858443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055066051642344516,0.0,0.0,0.0701070231308824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090120513731162,0.08331041772886666,0.0,0.08257120651508139,0.0,0.0,0.06287800269540403,0.17427778229140936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993281572534566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08059184139194271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525203439804108,0.07077827640122482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963994393486677,0.05626128454803414,0.07561539894323052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522865281469088,0.08634879242849207,0.06084450828996784,0.0,0.041145283953311435,0.0,0.08951448938280697,0.0,0.0,0.08682565437486567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08082347869257203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694964746719953,0.0,0.0,0.06969408239095466,0.0,0.0,0.0859683944120325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747702471364702,0.07933553939364824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444720643462421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775926027744631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169393351250511,0.08215673781934292,0.0,0.08083900327516362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060628042285403215,0.0,0.0,0.055741903192304085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232991852439585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059212587269924524,0.0,0.06883374686148606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05232011066110975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04592161014229069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053468236893820666,0.17132168151696592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4784686429858443,0.05071446320973411 bipolarreddit,Galaxygoddess87,2019/03/18,Crying on and off I guess I'm having a mixed manic episode because I am crying out of nowhere. I cant sleep...how long will this last without meds? Will it go into something worse? I want to scream cry and dance and laugh all at once. I have depakote but no Dr...i live 30 mins from a Dr and my insurance sucks. How quickly will the depakote work?,-0.298333333333332,1.975963611111112,1.148555555555557,99.65200000000004,93.44444444444444,3.4355555555555566,19.7,4.935628992294339,-0.5061599999999995,268,9,60,1,10,85,56,72,0.231,0.721,0.048,-0.904,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,1,0,3,0,7,1,0,1,1,12,12,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,1,6,1,9,9,1,11,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,1,4,36,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305521614436966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7057460757287823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217141266959878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23592538417208495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17457194301128662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18911040951545352,0.1895280737807023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23788751390743876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280772770877042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143182970536043,0.0,0.0,0.1648736259556346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631925814029782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064460974907772,0.0,0.15591367378305368,0.0,0.21825103613383928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,wocket-in-my-pocket,2019/03/18,"Flattened emotions I’m on 4 mg of Abilify right now and I’m feeling it. I know that’s not a lot, but it’s certainly affecting me. I’m feeling very stable. VERY stable. To the point where I feel like I’m forcing myself to be happy. Not manic: even just smiling or hugging someone doesn’t feel good. It just feels numb. The bad part is that, by the way my psychiatrist described it, this is the intended outcome. It’s kind of upsetting, but only kind of. The ability to feel appropriate sadness seems to have been numbed out too. 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She’s 50 and on 7+ medications, that is not an exaggeration. My family wants nothing to do with it because she lies about how she really feels so, now it’s my responsibility to look after her. She is on 400mg of Abilify and it’s making her sleepwalk, develop tartive dyskinesia and sleep text/call which is becoming scary. I don’t know how to cope since I have no close friends to get out of the house with and I have no job because I take care of her (driving her to work, doing the shopping, cleaning) and her house. I’m only 19 and my life is on hold. I don’t know how to say that I’m tired without hurting her feelings because it’s not her fault. But, the last time I moved out she completely quit all of her medications cold turkey. I don’t necessarily need advice, I just feel extremely stressed out and alone. 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My boyfriend ignored/didn't hear me & had the nerve to ask ""are you sure you didn't fall asleep"". There is *nothing* in the world I hate more than whenever people make stupid comments like that, obviously I'd know if I fell asleep. With that being said, that set me off to which I started throwing things and hung up on my boyfriend. I'm refusing to talk to him because this rage inside does not need to be directed at him. Idk where to post this or turn to. I'm very angry right now and just want to take my own life. ",3.512193236714978,5.045169765217395,3.7585507246376832,90.87425120772949,73.08695652173913,6.850241545893723,24.951690821256037,7.3871296695380915,0.9235314009661841,453,14,97,5,9,140,86,115,0.188,0.753,0.059,-0.9604,0,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,2,0,0,4,6,4,0,3,0,6,3,2,1,2,15,20,4,1,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,7,3,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,4,0,0,3,2,14,2,17,15,2,16,0,0,0,0,10,9,0,2,3,58,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24896802835284565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21481457133836024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400725960017669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010832334002758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268615401661937,0.0,0.0,0.2589803143513045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542190511322344,0.0,0.1262818367016886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16230138356598872,0.11225957516740934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533808548922865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703799811215568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22048143057275565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15930147615787746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22006704382601505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962320423258108,0.21857471101793025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16264044287033952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21656623053750249,0.0,0.17276700050687815,0.1846895686305539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15265653810907004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499361571767931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895937024861528,0.27106202175533795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,shawnbenteau,2019/03/19,I perpetually feel terrified I'm going to feel like this forever But then the this that I feel changes every 2-4 weeks so that's fine right,1.7560919540229882,4.049586448275863,4.048965517241381,83.2509195402299,81.06896551724137,8.004597701149425,23.459770114942533,8.841846274778883,1.8257494252873565,113,4,24,3,3,39,23,29,0.135,0.71,0.155,-0.1082,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,3,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,2,1,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,11,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4125660860559816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285900669372169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5915839973913807,0.2786145910107668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22164480467589887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19053328349792897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33305609161699223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3128328060313941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,artcatswhiskey,2019/03/19,"Seroquel + Lamictal My doc is adding seroquel to my lamitcal again, after several years. The last time I was on it was in hospital, so I can't really remember any side effects. Anyone have this combo? I'm going on vacation next week and I'm not sure if I want to start before I go away. ",0.7461501210653765,3.1120013389830525,3.6971428571428575,83.56813559322033,86.45762711864407,7.439225181598062,23.682808716707026,8.418075326091056,2.0418842615012105,225,9,44,6,7,80,48,59,0.061,0.939,0.0,-0.2924,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,1,7,11,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,6,1,7,9,0,15,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,8,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19837938917913508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039771864541608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740802467232714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24823196562090954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315820391441527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23779047844471515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.310247194305145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18688310001200764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3304615355592885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3295602091517066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064806943961652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27494235059229805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701040941723581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720638283095748,0.0,0.2339999349110756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18785791262542345 bipolarreddit,Vetr_Es_Komandi,2019/03/19,"Medications I'm wanting to talk to my doctor about going off my meds, I don't want to take them anymore. The problem is, I don't think my family will support this decision",5.756285714285713,5.5239110571428585,7.417857142857144,73.04964285714289,67.0,10.428571428571429,34.64285714285714,10.125756701596842,3.5038571428571434,137,6,26,3,2,48,27,35,0.117,0.8029999999999999,0.08,-0.0572,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,5,11,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,6,1,5,10,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,17,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30306265026430834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31278378217645353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880825654017702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17367354405255458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3394410225638842,0.3078492519103254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29240786203064795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3467793210164339,0.0,0.0,0.22976525821894814,0.24562124886260295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958093999104941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3604891862406668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,scooby6920,2019/03/19,Had a good day and now feeling drained the next is it normal that yesterday I actually had the best day I have had in a long time and now today just feel depressed and drained? I've got no energy or will/want to do anything but cry and sleep.,8.959411764705884,5.059528960784316,8.931470588235298,76.44661764705886,63.31372549019608,12.55294117647059,39.22549019607843,10.125756701596842,3.549972549019608,191,7,43,3,2,63,39,51,0.208,0.6579999999999999,0.134,-0.6187,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,0,6,1,1,0,0,10,9,6,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,2,2,2,2,5,1,10,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,9,27,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.2592321107929447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186039684188749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27877901770870056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917995837089098,0.3426393009850221,0.0,0.22880045290117995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686371310580761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228112051759026,0.2124613198964847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23508829137980436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825174635107913,0.0,0.26027661243968825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26583777938913056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15490027984300914,0.0,0.25180128338976193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15668485397539408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,SellMeBtc,2019/03/19,I'm tired of feeling like shit Sorry for the pointless post. I've been feeling like shit for the better part of a few months now and I just want it to stop.. Missed appointment with psych on monday so I gotta deal with that when her office is open tomorrow. Too many things I need to do and not enough energy to do them :/,1.8685572139303481,3.664849313432839,2.8545522388059688,94.485907960199,78.25373134328359,6.257711442786071,18.629353233830845,7.1686216300943375,0.04445472636815895,252,5,57,3,6,80,52,67,0.228,0.615,0.156,-0.7659,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,1,5,6,2,0,3,0,4,3,2,0,0,12,11,4,0,2,2,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,5,3,10,9,3,9,0,1,0,0,3,2,2,0,8,36,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002132223697988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333861015834291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23390931318779865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289273550175034,0.3234494256299889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22119401890340853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295120790010155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18069301052771225,0.0,0.0,0.16785665146497514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24514565374861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21680784814781945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4647481725293473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534119887528309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892624071251282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503956928657144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601885704456444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335237949073249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,tilliedelaney,2019/03/19,"Should I go on medication? I have recently been diagnosed with unspecified bipolar a few months ago and ever since I start realizing my bad bad habits and I was going to therapy and reaching out and getting help and I feel like I am high functioning without the need of medication. But I’m worried that’s just another symptom, that I only think that because I’m doing okay right now. But I’m scared I won’t be able to afford it, and I’m scared it’ll make me not myself, I’m scared of it changing me. And I little part of me feels like I was making this whole illness up and I’m actually fine. Idk. So I don’t know if I should take medication or not, any thoughts? ",1.9228804042672683,3.9668382335766452,4.195912408759123,83.75014037057835,79.07299270072993,7.4270634475014035,25.86692869174621,8.384062270229773,1.8271037619315,526,21,109,11,13,182,88,137,0.165,0.738,0.097,-0.8796,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,3,2,1,12,7,0,2,1,30,31,13,0,4,8,0,2,2,0,4,7,0,0,0,7,10,0,0,6,0,0,2,5,5,0,0,4,2,17,4,10,22,3,14,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,2,8,68,24,0,0.13887614449529648,0.0,0.13552308390272408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310532278800748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09444054052271653,0.14562374633742206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319115595862833,0.08465760868256232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14691254655640934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14095636334284992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12562142350531685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14043990283614813,0.19842629075241108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255705359730863,0.0,0.15785302663736556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308575227170976,0.14673027148870804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07632269708967153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13569573859077114,0.1391903808565192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540180968309136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.419709315202797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084961358044236,0.0,0.0,0.10297490145002497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562156588741818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15038933110692024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13712343854619746,0.0,0.0,0.11859946859262135,0.0,0.0,0.4171177433372436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148797818329882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09829724986536376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14434548885662613,0.1044175773110312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15881697440637674,0.0,0.0,0.0889862258196462,0.0,0.110252146113392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550502557759584,0.0,0.13387164748669256,0.0,0.0,0.14103546594344868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,abrainadickandaheart,2019/03/19,"How did your moods change as you got older? I'm 24 and this year has been wild in terms of my mood changes/the severity of my mania. My insomnia reached a high score this week. My impulsivity is getting harder to manage. It kind of feels like the older I get, the more bipolar I become. What has been your experience? How did medication affect you over time? ",1.9195714285714305,4.5051923142857175,3.4996428571428595,85.55660714285716,83.0,6.357142857142858,21.607142857142854,7.6454224807358475,1.0217142857142858,282,9,56,5,8,93,53,70,0.0,0.934,0.066,0.5329999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,4,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,7,3,0,3,0,5,12,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,10,2,7,7,2,9,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,7,35,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3198620430396512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3063790858532112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28330349735816285,0.0,0.0,0.1464403485502569,0.20690426718123944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3026285266222694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316352145107045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30599895992166104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015941975384031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14149348479114976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917612310407993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3271876589885414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16887949094303467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323153365635295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865054971672631 bipolarreddit,classictom,2019/03/19,"What is the longest amount of time you've been stable? I've been so stable for the past 2 years (thanks to regimented medication, therapy) that I'm getting this idea in my head that I'm not bipolar or don't have any problems anymore. I realize this is dangerous thinking. Has this happened to anyone else? When I worked at a mental hospital a lot of older people came in not having had an episode in 10 years and then having it hit them all at once for whatever reason. I'm just curious how long you guys' stable periods have been. Looking for words of encouragement that this can last a long time. I'm scared that one day my medications will stop working and it will all come back.",6.066194029850745,6.303231104477618,6.70518656716418,76.82330223880598,66.31343283582089,9.98358208955224,32.421641791044784,9.827888789773867,3.008734328358209,544,21,104,11,8,179,90,134,0.061,0.833,0.106,0.6271,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,1,2,5,5,1,1,6,0,15,4,1,2,2,19,27,7,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,11,4,0,1,4,0,0,2,3,3,0,1,5,1,6,2,13,19,4,22,0,0,1,0,4,5,0,2,15,66,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370750884341548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16582589447260407,0.11691606587036985,0.1713248605323476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12857300970378144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912419707709743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403531078886114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078356449627468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396812399058963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735953614733534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16556269623130598,0.14786191785912406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160415313718785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887580355438622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13629723855141435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959485085482301,0.1404130213131074,0.0,0.0,0.14215468104110654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33688993029151115,0.16850683276051553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17807158760540365,0.11330480202726352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15961942629484338,0.1159213153090855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999594549102547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719181790063651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16740487092636722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13979378697806707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539431148868563,0.19121748373998115,0.0,0.0,0.10714045052395406,0.0,0.0,0.19500123346925727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434595482237641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153535742755233 bipolarreddit,rhysdahl,2019/03/19,"I thought Bipolar was going to run my life. I'm so glad I was wrong. This is a celebration point for me and I wanted to share it with people who would understand the significance. I've been receiving treatment for Bipolar II for over a decade and it's never been easy to deal with -- until this year. March/April is one of my depressive times and, instead of being crippled by my emotions, I was proactive. I spoke with my psychiatrist early-on so that he could make the right medication adjustments to keep the episode from getting worse. For the first time I feel like I'm managing my Bipolar, rather than it managing me. I now have hope that I can continue functioning as an adult as long as I use all my skills and resources. Anyone else have something to celebrate? ",4.892838589981444,6.504560510204081,5.3551515151515146,80.47090909090909,69.74829931972789,8.88286951144094,31.050711193568336,9.339509955726095,2.8064748299319726,613,26,115,13,11,196,97,147,0.076,0.792,0.132,0.8223,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,2,5,6,0,0,7,0,13,5,0,2,2,21,26,10,0,5,1,0,1,1,0,1,5,1,0,1,8,7,0,1,4,0,0,3,1,2,0,2,7,2,17,4,22,16,1,15,0,1,0,0,7,3,0,1,10,80,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14315026280692242,0.2097675681095624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16345828949355615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110651140426932,0.1763315384482067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710235975943259,0.2302909376832981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351640043352993,0.14625740231414974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17414114907298486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696169482855636,0.0,0.11635138436475985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20334065070126486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819712527140938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446051227691307,0.10001953952840778,0.0,0.0,0.18117743896278546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13665722906863256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20624146775390914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157898507275906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13872868597436824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14193230526434594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935337081288496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17483620871428926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15760926973654282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16253080606365022,0.23875656105079926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131285991996768,0.0,0.17681887033785074,0.0,0.0,0.12075361304003507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20863486336834974,0.14543257728904552,0.2238374367777495,0.0,0.13183782966205673 bipolarreddit,noviceProgrammer1,2019/03/19,Any apps for tracking mood or sleep you like? Anyone have any success stories with any apps that help? ,3.647368421052629,6.460944526315793,2.399210526315791,94.78197368421051,77.42105263157895,3.8,25.28947368421053,3.1291,0.17971578947368405,82,3,15,0,2,23,16,19,0.0,0.633,0.3670000000000001,0.8504,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,6,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8102071291348073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776897528348051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661947919611027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194022704993256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3974271401773711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Throwaway7777666432,2019/03/19,"Mania. It is 6 am and I haven't slept yet and got school in 2 hours. I think I'm going to skip meds today folks, wish me luck.",-2.765000000000001,-1.126246499999997,0.3150000000000013,106.1625,97.33333333333331,3.0,7.5,3.1291,-2.564,95,0,27,0,4,33,27,30,0.0,0.794,0.206,0.6908,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,5,9,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,2,7,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,12,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21759024841884772,0.0,0.3062110544985233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770435958150788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4252752301805571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38747847711386985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453235822514052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3629099948566036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4402743289628303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,horrormovielesbian,2019/03/19,"Going to see a new Dr. tmrw and hopefully hop back on the med wagon! This is very long and in no way asking for a DX. The whole reason i’m booking an appt with a qualified professional tmrw is so I am able to get Dxd. This is more of a vent post/ Can anyone tell me about their experiences with mania and the journey to a DX I guess. Anyways loooong post under this paragraph. I’m on mobile so i apologize for any mistakes. I suspect i have bipolar. My friends suspect i have bipolar. When I first went to a therapist for devoloping issues after I made a very stressful move at 18 and was really struggling, she was the first to suspect Bipolar and pushed me to to see a psych. She suspected bipolar due to very impulsive behaviors (sexual and dangerous) and hallucinations that happened while I smoked. Unfortunately I didn’t see a psych for a long time. Who really knows but i would like for this at least to be considered bc i had a hell of a time last summer and i’m probably gearing up for another hell summer if i don’t get something straight. I in no way am qualified to diagnose myself of course, and this is mostly so I can get my facts straight to tell the doctor. Last summer starting around march, my mood really picked up and i was having delusions, paranoia, psychosis all that good stuff. Maybe it was the weed maybe it was something else. I at one point believed the owner of someone i was dogsitting for was secretly filming me from a camera in her bed and her tv. I thought every police man was out to get me. I felt watched all the time. For a straight month I only ate stale kid sized bags of smart popcorn from my trunk and this was before i got kicked out of my house. I never slept more than 2 hours. I got kicked out of my house for smoking weed constanly even though i promised I wouldn’t do it again. I drove like a manic, In talking going 100 down I95N (any baltimorians here?? y’all hit essex and the highway gets all twisty the adrenaline rush was insane) At the time was in the middle of a ED relapse and just didn’t give a fuck I mean i was planning to buy a dog a car an apartment with absolutely no money. Shit me and the friend i was living with had elaborate plans to start a dog grooming business. I quit my job suddenly one night for no real reason and once spent an entire 7 hours filling out loans. In september I bought a car with a loan that hand a ridiculous interest rate and smashed it into a exit sign a week later bc my phone died and i was agitated and “got bored” I have no idea what this was but thank god im alive bc i totally smashed my car to bits. I was wearing my seatbelt and I joke i’m a walking seatbelt ad. At the time I had been on Lexapro for about two weeks after seeing a psych and expressing the issues that were going on which she said sounded like anxiety and depression. The doctors in the hospital told me it was anxiety and depression. Maybe it is. I would just like some answers. I was in the hospital for six weeks, where they tried out Lexapro again and after I had adverse reactions (extreme irrabilty, impulsiveness) they switched me to Prozac and Risperdol and Dx’d me with BPD and let me go. My aunt had BPD but i also have a family history of undiagnosed disorders that caused extreme psychosis, my grandfather used to hear voices and suffered mood swings, but he was black and this was the 60s black people didn’t go to the doctor for shit like that they either drank it away or went to church. When i got out i spent 1500 dollars i didn’t have on random shit including three tattoos and completly fucked up my credit. I was medicated with a low dose of Prozac (20 mg) and Risperdol (.1mg) at the time. Three weeks later i was so depressed i did nothing but sleep and not eat. I lost ten pounds. They admitted me to the hospital for my ED about a month after I got out of my first hospitalization for the car crash. The psych there said a BPD dx didn’t make sense coming from someone who had only known me for abt four weeks and pulled it off my record. She put me on prozac and seroquel but didn’t give me a bipolar dx just left it as historical. I was doing okay and moved in with my Aunt in Texas and had about two weeks where i went off the seroquel bc i couldn’t get it refilled. I stopped sleeping again and was just generally euphoric. Nothing too crazy I was just very happy and excited and never sleeping and playing sims like a maniac. I stopped taking my seroquel after I got it refilled bc I didn’t like the feeling of forced sleep. Stopped taking my prozac too cause i just don’t give a fuck lol. Now i’ve been off my meds for about a month and a half and I’ve been okay, very impulsive and hyper sexual, making questionable decisions (quitting a new job I had for about a week, becoming a Cam girl, hopping on tinder) but still sleeping. I wanna go back on my meds but I know that after being off seroquel this long I have to wean up to the dose I was on (300mgs) cause there’s no way I can just start at that high again. Anyways anyone else just experience wild ass shit before they got a DX?? Even if i’m not bipolar I really don’t want a repeat of last summer lol. TLDR: I’m trying to go back on my meds and get a DX from a doctor. Had a wild ass summer/fall last year and just generally did not have a good time. Anyone else have trouble with multiple DXs before they settled on one?",3.4522857611010984,5.01770044846797,4.504175651319024,85.33758413894806,73.29897864438254,7.55662898028292,26.691015347643237,8.201025600215134,1.6636987689114648,4241,151,857,67,85,1383,422,1077,0.16699999999999998,0.7340000000000001,0.099,-0.9981,2,0,3,0,1,0,87.0,0,1,7,8,45,49,12,2,75,4,79,45,14,10,7,141,155,66,1,10,24,2,3,7,2,3,25,5,1,3,33,64,3,3,19,5,9,25,23,24,0,14,72,15,116,23,130,75,12,160,3,6,7,5,42,60,11,9,77,563,149,15,0.04409573689928365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035263344867006184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599732263975241,0.046238224917026456,0.06746623606522505,0.0,0.0,0.09249829355078999,0.09036258689283314,0.0,0.039254554679479615,0.04122356151390028,0.0,0.0414293963597728,0.1017206994244488,0.0,0.0,0.04870027697915909,0.11256667289041404,0.04968079529614738,0.0,0.0,0.04814112399828998,0.0,0.16661111094059627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13589540557597024,0.0,0.03798457283535122,0.04623354118239637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139387807317103,0.04475624474480318,0.04576441308243508,0.0,0.050537534762064414,0.18053542085110336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04512094736075237,0.11050898981393384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058249636690354975,0.0,0.03715256017118421,0.0,0.0,0.08626818399203857,0.041569536328560135,0.0,0.022296129504925474,0.0,0.04233882255828067,0.0,0.0,0.11252343384063908,0.0,0.0,0.06813651388836348,0.122297394642449,0.16126741781816625,0.1269019466426278,0.17542436426562955,0.07397082400610452,0.24687172314408976,0.0,0.04857642559189677,0.0,0.03899371451162905,0.046940731886183286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049699100266033774,0.0,0.0,0.04658956705804621,0.0,0.04379701634392134,0.08685083687202053,0.10176111994961748,0.0,0.049778719607748614,0.047630962717669145,0.09204898578147888,0.08751642957743114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04846772759340049,0.14377564381008195,0.0,0.0,0.04791014716345653,0.045090878557097085,0.0,0.15080064781099572,0.0,0.03893734355341783,0.11707001863184605,0.0,0.0,0.04813570578876361,0.0,0.0,0.041724452444416034,0.0588684935785609,0.0,0.13290028375561544,0.04803318459155625,0.19592169209121155,0.04442181581922172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559038948541652,0.0937335796950578,0.0,0.0,0.06801870142535764,0.08517587495051372,0.0,0.04138086195283903,0.0,0.08462209764692684,0.0,0.0,0.04696052066856904,0.08964123758878592,0.06707358988382177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030570431794897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04168472437157497,0.0,0.08446305352400374,0.0,0.04754266248238772,0.0,0.0,0.04432839490803552,0.04939731711067166,0.09380248808786118,0.0,0.050190602376763434,0.11299543277422383,0.09067552333414668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389028722672685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14055437285770786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810545610173936,0.0,0.0,0.22063791156556406,0.0,0.07472434955737636,0.06789410517571375,0.0,0.0,0.09363356861047567,0.0,0.03521491244855336,0.11059803157258724,0.05051151763418607,0.04609843841806726,0.05047906893705769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06630901273218719,0.03544248300281744,0.07708323529650501,0.04059743008776735,0.0,0.0511985492186929,0.0,0.0,0.04332383761726127,0.03500708955642248,0.17998805156146488,0.0,0.0,0.042135366288555805,0.0,0.0598762216688471,0.0,0.08615025517885762,0.0,0.0,0.03808455873133678,0.0,0.18191800510532552,0.02600880810434562,0.1050034303891378,0.24759658228730705,0.0,0.0,0.12263156964575872,0.0,0.04923131549850058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264869264950483,0.0,0.0,0.028396208827614913 bipolarreddit,sad-horse,2019/03/19,"[Everything Warning] I legitimately want to kill myself just to spite my father. I lived on my own for many years, and about 2-3 years ago, I was guilted into moving back home by my mother. Now my father wants me to GTFO because apparently I left the kitchen light on, so according to him, that means I am wasting his money on purpose. I'm nearly 30 years old. But I'm constantly treated like I'm 8 years old. And I'm so sick of this. Ever since I moved back home, I haven't been able to do anything because of the way my parents treat me. I'm just constantly anxious as all hell. And every time I hear my parents awake and walking about, I just get frozen in place because of how they treated me when I was younger (constant ABBAB--Always Be Berating And Belittling--I can't seem to focus on finding a job because of this)...and if I try to shift my schedule over so I can avoid them, I'm given constant shit about not having a ""normal schedule"". I legitimately want to just slit my wrists and ankles in front of them just to spite them for bringing me into this world.",4.094713178294576,5.052711990697674,5.257674418604651,82.89689922480623,70.95348837209303,7.407751937984497,29.21705426356589,7.554174236665415,1.7372077519379845,838,32,166,9,15,278,124,215,0.146,0.8170000000000001,0.037000000000000005,-0.9784,4,1,0,0,0,1,31.0,0,0,4,0,17,11,5,2,4,0,10,4,2,1,2,27,25,14,1,5,8,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,3,8,1,1,3,0,1,5,3,7,0,0,4,2,32,4,31,20,2,38,1,0,0,0,12,13,2,2,20,105,35,1,0.11436354905890644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137638593902376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515963428991156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12919825814653074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941114564695828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17587701997141306,0.0,0.2788598320888963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4943454725501873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344837756052867,0.09635622254155422,0.0,0.10278258368993233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452621196945916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597502342018614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288960314789614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22943192867982384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134881758558555,0.0,0.1265263226642119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425633067573025,0.0,0.0,0.05587225334418682,0.0,0.10098510905636174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11594668867692565,0.0,0.12457543174839635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431007075447424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11205199639712136,0.0,0.0,0.2400106134353573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25397437443271303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948556772593195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041122798687138,0.0,0.0,0.11739253966060742,0.09460270958183448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06668630514354769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07764534279047729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20236375287698175,0.09077646205792067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945855041507785 bipolarreddit,WanderingWombats,2019/03/19,"Possible Misdiagnosis? PMDD instead of Bipolar? I need possible opinions Between the ages of 12-13 I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder after a short stay in a mental hospital. This mental hospital stay was right after the start of my first period. Over the years that I was medicated I took Lamictal, Prozac, Buproprian, and Lithium. They didn't do much except harm my memory and turn my into a zombie. However, I never had many of the Bipolar symptoms to begin with. Just mood swings and a lot of PTSD related trauma behaviors. At the age of 18 I took myself off of them and almost three years later I have still not had a manic episode. However, in the past few months I have noticed a pattern where my depression, negative thoughts, and unstoppable crying (among other things) come about a week before my period and disappear almost as soon as my period arrives. I am not sure if this is important but, my mom who was given a Bipolar diagnosis that was later retracted also experienced similar pre-period symptoms. I would like to be treated for my possible PMDD however my psychiatrist is worried that potentially treating my PMDD with Prozac could reactivate any latent Bipolar Disorder. I was just wondering how often Bipolar and PMDD are misdiagnosed as one or the other and if you guys ever were misdiagnosed? How did treatment go for you? What do you use to treat your PMDD? What is your opinion on this matter as well? I don't have a lot of friends who understand this kind of thing and I want an outside opinion before I start something potentially damaging.",6.98991660489251,8.368539285211272,7.897924388435879,65.06130837657524,64.59859154929578,11.612750185322465,36.42624166048925,11.418023490513045,4.901629577464788,1263,61,194,40,19,425,161,284,0.101,0.8370000000000001,0.062,-0.8483,3,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,5,2,1,13,13,0,0,17,0,25,12,0,3,3,45,40,20,0,6,9,1,0,1,1,1,12,0,0,1,15,14,0,0,3,0,0,5,6,4,1,3,15,1,32,8,34,22,4,40,0,2,0,0,12,11,0,12,23,159,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22282346105572656,0.0,0.0,0.08897531014289008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566123462074316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893496806188097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09584142291143648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08883278386472296,0.0,0.1222148860676398,0.0,0.0,0.09582885941138604,0.112927482404707,0.0,0.0,0.25502928586442536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006418635960823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946384738607264,0.0,0.0,0.08595990366394267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06323213959756674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101657940747777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586111727356978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05435646099506277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18918009521252305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280110042724326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112083662356252,0.2242496584152364,0.0,0.0,0.13030743398646752,0.08880739748319393,0.0,0.08178957125819633,0.0824985555518307,0.08581127340107089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667128434055247,0.0,0.0,0.07539327259070516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621112876154544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3762898788921955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005805071888152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950162098757085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565408482471043,0.0,0.0,0.15750209059525985,0.23717865428473225,0.08885310706008377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486209167908066,0.23128537465750865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14783361057607095,0.0,0.0,0.0883287351846455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472299313638609,0.0,0.121019921539667,0.0,0.11582653193518473,0.0,0.09609370403050732,0.0,0.0,0.06562456784115989,0.0,0.08924679146258631,0.0,0.10003692067773064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12065771165408674,0.0,0.1129908556169937,0.0,0.0790365587773797,0.0,0.0,0.14329675740336606 bipolarreddit,allergictosushi,2019/03/20,"Sex and bipolar It is so, so easy for a woman to get laid these days. Combined with a hypomanic phase and a little too much time on your hands... I understand how people can get addicted to this. I've been through this before, but the force of it always catches me off-guard. Can't stop doing it. Can't stop thinking about it. Anyone else go through phases like this? How did you handle it? Please don't get preachy on me, just need a friend.",1.2249438202247198,3.6013976179775287,2.3326853932584264,94.19026404494385,84.05617977528091,4.908314606741573,20.135955056179775,6.2581,0.04049573033707876,344,10,73,3,10,109,66,89,0.0,0.802,0.198,0.9522,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,0,0,7,2,0,0,5,0,8,4,1,2,0,12,15,7,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,9,3,0,2,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,1,5,2,10,13,1,9,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,5,47,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622248659316145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20014913002747806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16819164887284804,0.2464623708583833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046824173158766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15512885075743818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20094088764861928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18584114656729825,0.0,0.3770177602198433,0.0,0.1367048219208798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751603484986695,0.24108497167815154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682508997793112,0.1783578796672067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16676063307639535,0.0,0.0,0.26404145335894297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4022055884105742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412876665370664,0.0,0.0,0.1402612153653791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25041134971371176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Mechageno,2019/03/20,"Always questioning my diagnosis I dunno why i do this but basically I worry (probably part of my anxiety) that I don’t have bipolar (actually schizoaffective bipolar type). Then i remember that I’ve had up episodes where im full of energy and make bad decisions and all that great stuff, I’ve had an episode where my confidence flew through the roof got super cocky had unlimited energy but i still feel like im somehow making it up? I dunno",3.7814285714285694,6.300728333333336,5.783571428571428,72.29892857142859,75.19047619047619,10.390476190476187,30.73809523809524,10.411451182825502,4.086552380952382,356,17,62,13,8,123,57,84,0.118,0.636,0.246,0.9377,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,2,0,6,2,0,2,1,14,11,5,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,1,10,3,5,6,3,8,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,4,3,41,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.21344086898521133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18199401059309445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673215337927864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18262351837175456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059228449620448,0.15625485602920053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17493175751159634,0.2411414924663289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4725140279201282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685639497103454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29199692207855943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23685433206792986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358190310025661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24501840761401206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.247769096179616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17467146551866802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25038406561808607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973623519643867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221225457820237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,LikeALighthouse,2019/03/20,"I faked my bipolar disorder for two years, and I feel awful First of all - Sorry. I faked it because I wanted to be helped and I thought faking some symptoms next to my real ones would allow me to be relieved of my symptoms sooner. I was in pain. I was having trouble; stress, depression, anxiety and terrible racing thoughts. I tried to find help but felt I wasn't being taken seriously by my psychologist and psychiatrist at the time; they diagnosed me with very mild autism, a lifelong condition you're born with; I was having trouble for 8 months. I googled my symptoms for days until I was convinced I had bipolar disorder. I told my psychiatrist I was seeing things, and that I was paranoid. I said that so they too would be convinced and help me get rid of those terrible racing thoughts. I ended up becoming more convinced that all of this was real. The depression got worse and worse, after a few more months I didn't want to live anymore. The racing thoughts stopped after a month of rest. The antipsychotics they put me on afterwards made me sleep all day, which was nice at first, but I lost all motivation a little while later. The antipsychotics also made me fat, which I didn't like. I was also put on lithium, which made me thirsty and made my hands tremble. At a certain point in time, I was no longer depressed. Shortly afterwards, I went on a long holiday to my parents in Africa, where I stopped taking my antipsychotics. I still take lithium, but I'm planning to stop taking that as well. I would just like to say that I do not recommend anyone to stop taking their meds; I took a lot of risks doing that and I just ended up lucky, because it turns out that I do not have bipolar disorder. I had a 2 year long bout of depression and (for 9 months) had terrible racing thoughts, triggered by (I think) burn-out syndrome, an existential crisis and possible anxiety.",6.732932049224182,7.030334786516857,6.832102728731942,76.27383895131086,64.89887640449439,9.92701979668272,34.92990904226859,9.725611199111238,3.3421628143392192,1488,64,269,28,21,477,174,356,0.254,0.645,0.101,-0.9954,1,0,0,0,0,1,46.0,0,0,4,5,9,28,0,3,14,1,29,11,3,7,5,56,58,20,0,5,7,1,3,2,0,3,9,2,0,0,15,14,1,4,10,1,0,4,6,18,1,4,33,6,53,10,40,18,10,50,0,5,1,0,11,16,0,3,32,192,68,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12249406575661892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11717852614511315,0.0,0.07595426595989467,0.05355179292320801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933741143823438,0.08458492739626959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09878526250085032,0.0,0.2638589646334179,0.07773474705059505,0.0,0.0,0.2633278889028701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13566766676351555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038724964463734135,0.0,0.07353605470597775,0.0,0.06999962955782058,0.1302906550321054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04001383175873029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612540569541053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15400505309410198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07483361279363153,0.07676084137783874,0.06762820628061081,0.13555513630846172,0.0,0.0,0.08360435364778633,0.0651119928258491,0.0,0.2898759513971843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850714981969265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445257941671773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145172405429314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0518977032814002,0.0,0.08149454878402447,0.0,0.08504140632525553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723999862672662,0.08634095064227587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15398327473553905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17434678902669662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285229463234377,0.060905490590567074,0.0,0.0,0.061030358351376185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664285662533014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573348744965195,0.0,0.0,0.06116291318017693,0.25612247132916016,0.08773077519849444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23881135547329996,0.2303372126639275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050881362441619664,0.04907420701719042,0.0,0.3040097831221648,0.08931762796478343,0.0,0.0,0.07318268230502903,0.08509158164454328,0.051997916405996464,0.08330525739743894,0.07481490385149342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06319274635950482,0.09034663790972013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06886140166248585,0.07099742245419557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15609850489388516,0.16321678585618615,0.0,0.0,0.0986397372253545 bipolarreddit,GailTheSnail_aSALTed,2019/03/20,"Having a hard time getting out of bed in the morning - does your doctor prescribe anything for this? So I've been in a depressive episode for months now, and can't motivate myself to get out of bed. Is there anything your doctor has prescribed to help you with this? I'm at my wit's end and have tried everything, but can't manage to not crawl back under the sheets after I wake up. Any advice would be appreciated, thanks!",5.936987951807227,6.219600048192773,6.096048192771086,80.92334939759041,66.59036144578313,8.567710843373495,29.853012048192767,8.238735603445708,1.9911224096385545,336,11,65,4,5,107,65,83,0.054000000000000006,0.818,0.128,0.8485,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,0,9,3,1,1,0,9,13,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,6,1,16,10,0,13,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,0,6,45,8,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23602152110689875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16424951783462707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3975192425122287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18572260587886247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080304931826636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4944348938360499,0.2113656057052824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139249781788989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21707269414684452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25238019610852475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21636453916245849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16189329119970694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19278792224153907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22236950445327555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408388016775102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639838496211602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715768548526134,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,C4Arthur,2019/03/20,"Fantasizing that it's all a bad drem I keep fantasizing about waking up on the ground during a boxing class I took last year and having it all just have been a dream. I was diagnosed about 9 months ago with type 1 and it has taken everything from me. I have crippling insomnia and couldn't leave my bed for the entirety of last week. My only comfort is thinking about waking up in that ring and going back to a normal, successful life.",8.324302325581396,6.547558523255818,8.436860465116277,72.86831395348841,62.6046511627907,11.855813953488376,33.127906976744185,10.686352973137794,3.255381395348838,347,10,67,7,4,114,64,86,0.043,0.8420000000000001,0.115,0.6057,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,6,0,8,5,2,0,2,12,13,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,5,5,0,1,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,4,1,7,2,12,8,2,14,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,7,46,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23538915277891076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20418730822211212,0.2217185426850164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26952204985649897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386542494201056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15091504316081455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236028128133666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4329083735698206,0.0,0.2811732547159771,0.0,0.0,0.18756191396539973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119550644573091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601772025584793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20195853718067874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701501757218891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2950296795259642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130037583934408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17100193403202466 bipolarreddit,teachmehowtopuppy,2019/03/21,"Any Bipolar people also diagnosed with ADHD? I go to a new psychiatrist in April to sort out some meds that aren't working. Bipolar Type 1 is my official diagnosis. My therapist also wants me to be tested for ADHD because of the things she's heard from me and seen in my behaviors. Valid, but I'm a 28 year old, so I feel like if I was ADHD, I would have known it long before now. I'm wondering if anyone out there has a diagnosis of bipolar and ADHD. How do you cope? What does the combination of meds look like for you? My biggest concern is adding on an ADHD med because of the link to psychosis that's come out recently.",3.1295275590551204,4.6018262440944895,5.251188976377954,80.03426377952758,73.96062992125984,8.229606299212598,27.660629921259844,8.841846274778883,2.2148966929133853,491,19,97,10,10,171,86,127,0.0,0.934,0.066,0.8349,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,2,0,1,6,2,0,0,7,0,9,4,0,1,0,19,19,9,0,4,3,0,1,2,0,1,4,1,0,0,5,7,0,0,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,4,13,2,18,14,1,16,0,0,2,0,4,7,0,5,9,64,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7327266566367734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19502695217541535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292176763539888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526162384138103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148664091011961,0.0,0.10375993926621246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503846838271523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12376412442318845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670843892555867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06165532791987718,0.08711226494181147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692999633574712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914513028259505,0.0,0.0,0.10791096255425647,0.10239689572606477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4063356434745432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776811979353295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795302719760654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453619703591304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039869578848547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14157898304291508,0.08100994099777878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192197157467796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223615474093975,0.08877204457196759,0.0,0.0,0.08662099150894151,0.0,0.0,0.07852383376949533 bipolarreddit,Knossoscrete,2019/03/21,"Withdrawals or new med at fault? So I went from 0.5 mg rispridol go 2 mg abilify overnight and upon taking the ab my legs started getting tingly, started experiencing light movements in my chin, twitching in arms and legs, and some “light” restlessness (not full akathesia)... I’m in like my 4th day of this and idk what to do I’m scared. Anyone have any ideas? I didn’t have any movement issues on rd (was taking for 2 months). I’m afraid I’m going to be permafucked by these damn drugs. ",2.7869356725146197,5.039380863157895,3.4319298245614043,89.2579532163743,77.21052631578948,5.906432748538013,25.292397660818715,6.937597516519254,0.9999941520467835,382,14,76,4,9,120,71,95,0.129,0.8440000000000001,0.026,-0.8299,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,1,6,1,3,1,0,6,5,3,0,0,8,18,6,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,5,2,5,0,0,3,3,5,1,12,14,2,17,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,2,6,36,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3279657116875503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16861006428206868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15551476945201426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27964479741022313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598522620309,0.0,0.2740898132127097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722166904084431,0.0,0.25168656870181505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11780838301424497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26785117727289715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924749276474916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328936437535755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24142230443608834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3413589898002384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36261318355399336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22353835997665025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,thats_the_joke11,2019/03/21,"Seeing “signs from the universe” everywhere. 1:11 2:22 3:33 4:44 5:55 every time I look at the time. Opened Reddit while contemplating how unhealthy cigarettes are (as I’m smoking) first thing I read is a showerthought about how no other industry could survive after killing over 400 million people besides cigarettes. Was talking to my wife about how I’ve been seeing multiples of 11 everywhere and she says “someone gave me a book today” and pulls out a book which has the subtitle the meaning of 111,222,333 and other number sequences” I know this is a symptom and I’m probably ramping up to being hypomanic, but the cognitive difference between understanding that- and my experience of actually seeing it and feeling like the universe is trying to tell me something- is a real mind fuck. Hope you all are having productive and meaningful days. This sub definitely gets me through most days. 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Back in the states I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and put on meds. When I moved back I thought I was ok and didn't need help. That turned out not to be the case and in August of last year I went to a GP and asked for anti-depressants. He said he wouldn't prescribe them to me and said it would be best if I see a mental health specialist and he did the referral. That took until January and in the meantime my depression got worse, I got fired from my job due to the symptoms and started putting weight back on. I would see my GP each month and beg for just a week or two of anti-depressants, he didn't budge. The referral came through in January and I got an appointment in the middle of February. It was just an intake appointment, the Doctor there said he didn't want to prescribe anything until I had blood work done, that was another 14 days. That's finally done and I now have an appointment booked in the middle of April where hopefully I'll get a prescription. I'm a big proponent of universal health care in the US but honestly, I don't understand how people in the UK with mental health issues survive. Waiting so long for something as simple as anti-depressants is shocking to me and has taken a huge toll. At this point I'm tempted to move back to the States as this would have been resolved in a week or two back there. I'm trying to hold it together but I'm starting to fall apart without treatment. 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I'm bipolar and have had a lot of success with lamotrigine, but it took me a really long time to start taking it because there's such an intense stigma around medicating mental illnesses. I kind of assumed I would lose all sense of self if I took them, and I wish I didn't have that feeling for so long (over a decade). So I started up a project called Wear Your Meds recently to try and help other people not feel that way. Basically it's a series of 1"" buttons, and each button shows a commonly-prescribed mental illness medication. Anyone who wears one of these buttons is signaling that they’re open to sharing their personal story of how the medication helped. It's also a show of solidarity because sometimes it can feel like no one else you know is on meds. I'm hoping some people on here would be into it. More info is at wearyourmeds.com",6.669560276679842,7.068245135869567,7.4151581027667985,71.69268774703559,65.03260869565217,9.951778656126482,34.11857707509881,9.800150414767053,3.3557130434782607,771,32,135,15,11,257,121,184,0.1,0.7509999999999999,0.149,0.8571,0,0,0,0,2,0,16.0,0,2,2,2,10,8,1,0,10,0,12,10,2,1,1,27,27,11,0,5,3,0,3,2,0,2,8,0,0,2,12,9,0,1,6,2,0,2,4,2,0,2,4,3,12,6,21,20,5,17,0,1,0,0,14,8,0,5,8,91,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316564916019868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146006944199448,0.0,0.0,0.1037104132634348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1420356149901024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896034427383728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09732147090113344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17671891763986786,0.08322819612972603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06086686058075666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342640952741433,0.0,0.0,0.1157115830716056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213176575151348,0.06402579394536878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383281421606177,0.0,0.0,0.20619908716671276,0.0,0.13033459753499166,0.0,0.09904481563682027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588122552906303,0.4694492054887061,0.3522162209941641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578879168152278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423009615809845,0.10172400654238764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463339684771306,0.0,0.11503048707941115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215357442251232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11522227196145722,0.0,0.16491973437159607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759410429817488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793255444163035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588733549830288,0.07909639715229452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247291385381176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339701726539075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551765414601788,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Idontnow125,2019/03/21,"Trying to understand my ex-girlfriend better. Hey, I don't know if these type of questions are allowed on this subreddit, but I figured the best way to understand someone who is living with a bipolar disorder is to ask people who live with a bipolar disorder. I met my ex-girlfriend when we were younger. We became best friends and I saved her life 2 times when she tried to commit suicide. Because of this I always thought that we have a really deep connection. However, we only started dating 3 years after knowing each other. I was 18, she was 20. We dated for 2 years and our relationship was beautiful, but also exhausting from time to time. Constant suicide thoughts because of the slightest issues, and also a shitty behaviour that she showed from time to time, including insulting, manipulating and blackmailing me. She also had depressions, social anxiety, schizophrenia and I think borderline. So it's hard to distinguish why she behaved like she did. However, after 2 years of dating, her best friend and 2 other friends came back in her life. She suddenly lost ALL interest in me. That's what I personally think is because of borderline, since they always need 1 favourite person in life and can't have 2 at the same time. But what really surprises me, and what can't really be explained with any of the other things, is that she really.. changed. A lot. And quickly. We always used to play videogames, watch movies, go for a walk in the park or woods. And then when her best friend came back in to her life she changed completely. She was suddenly going partying, drinking alcohol every day, she also seemed to have lost every other mental illness she had. No signs of depression anymore, no signs of social anxiety anymore. She was suddenly like one of the girls of these clichee american student movies that only drink alcohol and party and just enjoy their live without any fear of repercussions. And then she broke up. She had no sense of any guilt anymore. Cancelled a date with me to go out with another guy, broke up over whatsapp, 30 minutes later she came by with another guy to pick up her stuff. When I talked to her mother, her mother cried and told me that her daughter just said ""I have to go own my way now."" the whole time and that they (her parents) also worry about her and don't know what is happening. Apparently she also wasn't home at that point for 1 week anymore. She is also not using any social media platform anymore or is playing any video games anymore, which was basically her whole life before that. I first thought this was because of borderline too so I asked people with borderline about it and they said that even they would never do anything like that. So my last hope, before I have to accept that she just wasn't a good human is to ask you guys. Could all of this be explained because of her bipolar disorder ? Like a manic episode ?",5.821091070372564,7.34185836516854,5.999515079834421,77.07832052040216,67.40823970037454,9.141651882515275,32.404691504041004,9.4824395486982,3.1575026217228466,2293,98,392,47,38,729,239,534,0.149,0.6920000000000001,0.159,0.8912,6,0,4,0,0,3,66.0,7,1,5,8,25,32,1,2,16,0,37,14,0,5,4,81,72,39,2,5,11,4,1,4,4,1,12,2,1,7,33,35,4,0,17,7,0,8,12,10,0,2,26,4,67,22,62,42,12,63,0,6,1,0,80,16,0,7,41,282,100,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656801213440646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3052953567898175,0.13613871718853246,0.0,0.0,0.18543686510659094,0.1143746567159618,0.08344208286244906,0.0,0.32451929696402004,0.0,0.0,0.04487971905356415,0.0,0.1529556131930624,0.0,0.0,0.08387194864895386,0.0,0.1662277817833831,0.0,0.09281479838093976,0.0,0.2289349838118453,0.048233990514622495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871291275165212,0.0,0.0,0.11538689604045065,0.0,0.05718153552595257,0.05893566722831571,0.0,0.04354375934026697,0.0,0.05990688747108815,0.0351721784287372,0.0,0.0939461448920941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18751411413569324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685198292708338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03602150716341389,0.0,0.09190039893018408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06136985454478935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046389573205282635,0.0,0.0,0.1685421618106767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397968179853565,0.045743471001952515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16200211057304872,0.048227334844178994,0.0,0.04885489149857341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054705563420941405,0.05416804730835149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05692298508810353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991715807503843,0.04445534494026171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19260726038238066,0.10657707901001863,0.0,0.14447284612499445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11906825651827875,0.046365835784496864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05496097686772962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040438868316217715,0.04206268536341492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036956024282252746,0.08295645898426796,0.0,0.0,0.0605574443268171,0.0,0.0,0.07561887698921044,0.09524009010183968,0.0,0.0,0.0515555695407195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06109448618930581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13975248679220392,0.0,0.0,0.058552869411111486,0.0,0.0,0.10375531089891764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049648895531056815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04511398704270285,0.0,0.0,0.16678235236190753,0.046209450321055265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03860192617014473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06243239431636725,0.11931035558202548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04383518002564843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03623229443720898,0.06989086111676025,0.0,0.1298900592905235,0.22260880091373167,0.0,0.0,0.05211292240892538,0.0,0.07405477082124579,0.0,0.0,0.11355093046467725,0.0,0.09420578620593932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657866463160614,0.04374669621134213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04921161476721466,0.1217783515677904,0.0,0.052572207865785384,0.0,0.0,0.05538548282050476,0.0,0.03874187822061249,0.0,0.0,0.105361093852154 bipolarreddit,jblittl1,2019/03/21,"Rocky Meds So to start my marriage has been very rocky and very nearly ended over the last year. My husband is struggling to make it through each day and a few times sinking into suicidal thoughts. He’s overworked (understaffing problems, he’s law enforcement), doesn’t sleep for shit, has chronic pain issues and has also struggled with depression his whole life. He is in a very very dark place and it just doesn’t want to end. I do my best to help but quite often it just never seemed to be enough. Just always coming up short. When we first met I was going through a really dark patch in life and he was my rock. And now when he needs one I just can’t pull it together. I sank into a very dark place too. My journal entries over the last year just got deeper and deeper into the darkness. I didn’t know what to do and my eternal demon of self harm became the main urge and thought in my head every single moment of every day. I called my psychiatrist and told him I just didn’t think I could do this anymore, told him I’m not gonna be able to pull myself out of this one. So he put me on a med to work in tandem with my mood stabilizer. I’ve been on it for a few weeks now and I already feel so much better. My mood, my ability to cope and do better in many aspects of my life, handle my husband’s dark times, doing things to improve the relationship itself and my anxiety is so much lower I find myself going days without having an attack. But I still find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop....... I’m keeping the hope this med truly will continue to work...... If you made it this far in the post, thanks for reading. I just needed to get this out of my head. 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I’ve been diagnosed BP2 since 2015. As the years have gone on, I’ve gotten worse at drinking, and no matter how little I drink, if I drink at all I can feel my emotions get negative. The more intoxicated I get these days, the more belligerent and unnecessarily angry I get. I pick fights and make shit up to fight about with my boyfriend. I’m about to kick alcohol to the curb because of how bad it makes my mood swings. I can’t be the only one that turns into a complete bitch for no reason when I drink. Thoughts and support I’ll love a lot, because I just don’t get why alcohol affects my bipolar so severely. ",3.6179104477611936,4.896281238805972,4.958388059701496,83.38026865671642,72.43283582089552,8.046567164179105,27.579104477611946,8.548686976883017,1.8686143283582093,522,19,108,9,10,174,90,134,0.237,0.708,0.055,-0.9789,1,0,7,0,2,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,7,8,4,0,8,0,6,12,1,7,1,22,21,10,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,7,7,1,3,4,0,1,5,5,0,1,4,1,14,2,16,16,4,11,1,0,0,1,3,7,2,2,3,65,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4216699236182645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981508068369301,0.16034874923093662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13789794344725229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482058110666435,0.0,0.0,0.13349170210393033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509547865679595,0.0,0.0,0.5153645687677691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479441493348855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650129596245356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748585265580958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13181924119194852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181500010599137,0.11870342039427395,0.0,0.1755834398731333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912247108503082,0.10002813831752484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352261569090354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148582023745949,0.13500507952411586,0.10879606461549414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492492051925005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044134957532195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861155667478313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373556571259734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13403179340508264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469562786849122 bipolarreddit,Okay_then_now_what,2019/03/21,"Neuroscience of bipolar I am a total hopless nerd. What helps me probably the most with bipolar (besides meds, duh) is understanding what the medications actually do. I have binders full of detailed notes I take on different classes of psychopharmaceuticals (Its so fascinating how people with different brain chemistries react so differently to various meds!). For some reason the chemical perspective helps me understand it all SO much better. It also helps to explain it to normies, I've found! And with work I've done on emotional awareness it feels like I can tell when something is emotional versus caused by brain chemicals (Of course there is overlap). After things like exercise, sex, caffeine, anything that gets them neurotransmitters moving I feel hyper aware of my chemical state. I can feel the the fall and the rise. ...it's just when I let my chemicals get so off balance that I get manic or depressed and then this logical view is fucked. Lol. This was kind of random, but it consumes a lot of my thoughts! Are there any other bipolar science nerds out there? Any thoughts? Or do you have certain scientific perspectives that help you understand this illness? 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First: my current job is making me miserable. I have been working my way out of a depressive episode that started in November but the stress of this job is a major contributing factor to keeping me down. The job pays poorly but is part time and offers health insurance, allows me to work alone for the most part, and I start work at 10. Honestly have no idea how I will get better if I stay at this job because I cannot emphasize enough how much it is affecting me. There is no point in trying to change anything about the job because oh my GOD I have tried. &#x200B; I have an interview for a temp job that would have me working 8:30-5:30. I am getting desperate to start a new job and earn more money. However, I am really bad with sleep disruption- just a time change can be a trigger for me- and I would need to get up two hours earlier. I have non-manic related insomnia that keeps me up at times, but I have depended on the ability to sleep in to make sure I don't become sleep deprived. Being at work so early feels risky since I can't seem to fall asleep before midnight on somewhat regular basis and it leaves no room for flexibility. &#x200B; I had been searching for a job that can accommodate my needs for MONTHS with no luck. I'm a little concerned that I may be flipping up since I am having a sudden lack of sleep and am afraid a big change will trigger a hypomanic episode or exacerbate the depression. I have no idea what my options are since all jobs seem to start at the crack of dawn and leave very little flexibility for sleep. But I need money. &#x200B; I don't know what to do. Advice or support would help. I feel so lost and I don't know what I need. &#x200B;",4.030963210702339,5.4717909246376815,4.907898550724641,83.50933946488296,71.63768115942028,8.20624303232999,28.051839464882946,8.730908602173464,2.066050167224081,1379,51,274,25,26,448,174,345,0.14,0.755,0.105,-0.8639,13,1,0,0,0,1,46.0,0,0,0,9,8,13,0,3,20,0,39,9,7,10,2,54,64,20,0,9,8,0,2,0,0,6,2,0,1,0,12,11,0,2,8,0,4,1,10,8,0,2,4,2,35,5,40,51,10,39,0,5,0,0,3,20,0,11,16,184,47,19,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05386672017798392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0570920359291524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389081459775317,0.26792769644798825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04536251122640626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04602639584905748,0.06720638877698584,0.060880336620806864,0.04690662533456357,0.0,0.0,0.048752866157707686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332563339252649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949567676049605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056958023570606475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05574489320386633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04688860758689868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08640034183208159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058594435913137725,0.0,0.0,0.03694858237862862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05428622291850766,0.0,0.0,0.12445700083263972,0.0,0.0,0.5470225246157465,0.09799382519328023,0.0,0.0,0.06058962605889355,0.0,0.0,0.11673711514612085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104978394196809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06017456478028128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359164932380799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04399960229209948,0.0,0.0405226220899334,0.16349555270506178,0.0,0.10647857179905026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938825123422585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052110176966202036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03531396744854449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036598394113062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367978980383144,0.0,0.3309839983005853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19508592591279084,0.058755051698696936,0.0,0.0,0.06314457304037635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255427720472735,0.05195389641127997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964300749090876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748514127002077,0.0,0.05384832346540615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04548322956330387,0.0,0.04375501595309785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20065533308751612,0.0,0.0,0.11747592828848365,0.0,0.26792769644798825,0.0 bipolarreddit,spazzieabbie,2019/03/22,"It this a mixed episode? Backstory: diagnosed 7 years ago as bipolar 1 and never had a mixed episode. Anyways..... The past few days have been miserable. I will be perfectly content and happy, getting things done. Then I’ll crash really hard and that lasts for hours no matter what I do to try and get myself out of it. I know that I can google symptoms and that this is probably a mixed episode, but I feel completely isolated. I quit my job about five weeks ago, and currently do not have health insurance. I live with my boyfriend, who is the main bread winner and starting the process of getting me on his insurance. If this is a mixed episode, what have you guys done to help stabilize? I am taking 300 mg of lithium ER three times a day and 7.5 mg of remeron at night. ",4.38518181818182,5.74486116666667,4.596181818181822,86.3980909090909,70.66666666666666,8.654545454545454,30.96969696969697,9.095868883498916,2.519733333333333,605,26,123,12,11,189,102,150,0.069,0.83,0.101,0.7798,2,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,2,2,3,0,1,8,0,16,5,0,0,2,18,23,12,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,12,10,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,1,2,4,2,14,2,13,17,2,18,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,1,15,82,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3155231092569433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18660039177907506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295546005947017,0.0,0.0,0.18063796521648065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3642545582808423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998805616819601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789492764943512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17622038899980108,0.0,0.18945464129175146,0.15942807079429394,0.0,0.0,0.18917605136714086,0.0,0.0,0.1192909669505884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17526669785820154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766098770352511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780882803125622,0.14507103921268066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571526509994148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372630779481404,0.0,0.0,0.1670147874265718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16989453562839274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19188405686760884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892952668063363,0.0,0.0,0.11401350343105725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12596958931798366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18498118692107807,0.13381289252207434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823677477093017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377697995865287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12083139357181402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14275850721727593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460821638924973 bipolarreddit,kickingandsinging,2019/03/22,Hormones? I recently went to the gynecologist to complain about my non-existent sex drive. She tested me to see how my hormones were faring before doing the shitty thing and just sending me straight to my psychiatrist and making him deal with it. It turns out that my testosterone as well as my estrogen are low. I have the worst mood symptoms the week before my period and the week of my period. Has anyone had a similar experience?,5.7251666666666665,7.557501850000005,6.720000000000002,70.63166666666669,68.0,9.833333333333336,30.833333333333336,10.125756701596842,3.4710833333333344,348,14,57,9,6,116,57,80,0.146,0.8079999999999999,0.046,-0.8645,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,6,0,6,3,0,2,0,8,10,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,3,1,13,1,10,7,1,11,0,1,1,1,5,3,0,0,5,46,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18421856486582602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44837304852994975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27161747131844305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577161227282766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17586274816357886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260136670527582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20994488540952652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738376113882844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17503226420176424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28657070334770623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4226662102499623,0.0,0.23688373248498185,0.2442316598519813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Twilek36,2019/03/22,"Going off Seroquel - coping suggestions? I'm getting off of Seroquel. I love the sleep, but I've gained 30 lbs in 6 months because I'm always hungry and always eating. &#x200B; Those of you who have stopped taking it, what worked for you to sleep again? I plan to use melatonin and magnesium, but I am open to suggestions. &#x200B; Thanks!",4.23,6.8607141428571445,4.051031746031747,84.72035714285717,74.23809523809524,6.104761904761905,27.96031746031746,7.1686216300943375,1.6790126984126983,273,11,46,3,6,83,45,63,0.036000000000000004,0.802,0.162,0.8463,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,3,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,4,2,1,0,7,10,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,9,10,0,8,0,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,3,26,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031405212808099,0.3947367866013377,0.4426844363327983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104198157982656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18639337083001026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517016998731244,0.0,0.10352473421444916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16440493716480212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453969813331824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645796152353963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15229245777398276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13696033796392731,0.0,0.0,0.1677068475666965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15732624631640696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13261337921032826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4426844363327983,0.0 bipolarreddit,readingsocks,2019/03/22,"Are the meds making me sick? What if? I am starting to wonder if all those meds are just making me sicker than I was to begin with. I just want to be off of all of them - and I know, a lot of us feel better and decide to stop but I am actually not feeling better right now - and live my life. Maybe I am just an emotional person with anxiety. Do I have to be medicated for that? All the side effects, are they worth it? How long does it take for your body to go back to normal / regulates itself when you stop meds? I am not thinking of stopping cold turkey or without consulting my psychiatrist but really considering being off medications. Thank you for the feedback! ✌️ ",2.071756601607348,4.233879447761196,4.192686567164181,83.3622445464983,79.14925373134328,7.108151549942595,22.247990815155,8.139509932561175,1.3032222732491392,522,16,104,10,13,179,88,134,0.073,0.8029999999999999,0.124,0.8027,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,3,2,3,7,3,0,0,5,0,13,6,1,4,3,35,26,10,0,4,11,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,6,5,0,3,7,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,1,3,18,3,20,22,4,14,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,5,9,83,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.14343454074156187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244185553519698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11302111848031515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25998964586115136,0.0,0.1632653597055079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12862611447882516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16533647812148675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14863838974880034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835340213946421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077820169051163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038186823914576,0.0,0.0,0.12978898524959934,0.1300756337810078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249599825460552,0.0,0.0,0.1962250463812987,0.0,0.14766452454023038,0.0,0.4897960791165237,0.2961405104696881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440124691993683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12834018621087773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416129362732632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12552297232245907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040355671120734,0.0,0.0,0.3686539701589184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051318207682287,0.0,0.0,0.13532251494260886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09418099164513856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768028647569289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669458425646161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416866981078494,0.15939716623362365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,theprojectisreal,2019/03/22,"Is this something to worry about? so I just realised the appointment I have today is with an SHO, which means it’s someone so don’t know. Normally I have the same team of CPN and Psyc and it’s making me not want to go. I find it hard to talk about what’s going on to people I know let alone complete strangers. Have any of you had this problem?",0.046103500761034866,2.298843260273973,1.6363470319634708,97.77756468797566,89.0,4.3403348554033485,19.07001522070015,5.82211442006289,-0.2997811263318111,270,8,61,2,9,87,52,73,0.157,0.843,0.0,-0.8405,0,1,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,1,5,1,0,0,3,0,8,0,0,1,0,14,15,4,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,4,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,1,7,0,10,13,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,42,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585963151151012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16979302009592548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617879029904086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22820576293926784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838012359490245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236669491051135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27443852330778834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25531781125933195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16666535908786956,0.0,0.0,0.2719780130742509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446363533593333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17309877263186074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389129360439543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21155561820123048,0.19221819229940174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006857589704501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366703145636852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472695181633429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535652334329247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,marekstopka,2019/03/22,"Do you do cocaine to cope with the lows? My PDOC is much more afraid of me having a manic episode with psychosis, than he is about the lows of depression, so he never prescribed me any anti-depressants, even when I was on Olanzapine tired all the time, he would not give me any stimulant which eventually led to me being let go from my last job about a year ago. Today I got some bad news regarding other job opportunity on different continent I was looking forward to... feeling down, I've reached to my stash and had some white nose powder, how about you and a drug habit? Do you self medicate with illicit substances?",9.968389830508476,7.411657364406782,9.514,68.88608474576272,60.10169491525424,13.168813559322036,40.54915254237289,11.602472056035307,4.5235471186440686,491,20,92,11,5,159,84,118,0.117,0.836,0.047,-0.8604,3,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,0,1,7,6,0,1,6,0,12,4,1,3,2,16,17,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,5,0,0,4,4,13,1,17,10,5,15,0,3,2,0,8,6,0,2,8,63,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17951778674889346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754349922497231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16909199763078558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3488526361164957,0.0,0.0,0.2115856120526531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23485370531886635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13375958902070562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239793031447612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942713373370108,0.11509423529294595,0.0,0.16197015910342313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4019308039658565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650771757552289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070858369964229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17006202945838042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040130776821285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14887220674187446,0.0,0.15619245140947638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112678512423374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808842655953053,0.2327617955755369,0.19196103061468686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14386121283516626,0.0,0.0,0.13041335322720812 bipolarreddit,eharby4,2019/03/23,Pressured speech... what is it and who has experienced it? Can someone give me an example of what it is? I think I get it a lot. I have anxiety as well as bipolar 2. Can anyone describe to me what it feels like?,-0.6360606060606031,1.5458432727272748,2.2881818181818185,91.71893939393942,93.54545454545452,5.660606060606061,23.24242424242424,7.1686216300943375,1.0584060606060608,160,7,36,3,6,56,32,44,0.08,0.805,0.115,0.3695,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,0,6,1,0,0,0,4,10,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,9,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,5,2,4,10,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,29,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3141009784043827,0.0,0.0,0.2870947622546117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20760713804627615,0.2933262805251895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21451684226785608,0.39387628465824265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005940146994643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3490697711478474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478924077506224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630901231754667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3691706040012525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,BlackCanary37,2019/03/23,"Thismay sound batshit, but I think my night vision got shittier to prevent hallucinations? So I'm bipolar 1. When I was a teen, I used to habitually hallucinate at night, seeing shadows as things they weren't, picture things lurking in corners, hear things, etc. It kept me up for hours with lights on, hoping the images wouldn't become more vivid or real feeling. Most times they didn't. Sometimes they did. Ever since I started getting medicated, though, my night vision has devolved into shit. I physically cannot see in the dark no matter what, not without a source of definitive light. While medication severely lessened hallucinations, it didn't rid me of them. I still fairly often hear things that aren't there. But night hallucinations? The inability to see has made them nigh impossible. Is it possible my brain decided to rewire itself a bit to make my life easier? I mean, it's done that before when I grew to be more introverted and self-sustainable socially, or re-conditioned my conscious brain to want and need more sleep. If so, hecking wild. If not, a convenient coincidence. Nighttime hallucinations always really fucked me up but it's hard to create any visions out of the pitch black. Anybody else experience weird stuff like this, body adapting in weird ways to cope with disorder?",6.01725905673274,8.441297852813857,6.570626566416043,69.609022556391,68.30735930735929,9.365322396901345,31.638414217361582,9.811843763644266,3.4983194805194806,1048,45,167,26,19,341,156,231,0.145,0.7440000000000001,0.111,-0.9376,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,5,0,9,6,2,0,8,0,13,10,5,3,1,35,33,16,0,6,10,0,2,1,0,1,4,3,0,0,15,6,0,2,5,0,0,1,10,4,0,0,9,12,21,2,26,22,6,24,0,0,5,1,8,10,3,7,13,110,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414966217592914,0.0,0.0,0.07694571492356991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249650170327328,0.096282109450072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12353022926328926,0.12568387239223275,0.0,0.25262509967230395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12967942451408115,0.0,0.0,0.11579148630760168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452210302813484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619188899511966,0.0,0.1023504332761428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068217421598507,0.0,0.0,0.0572119169782007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046051272021354,0.05911607802000859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049619720937824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10135995751735663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550559995342206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11238323953974998,0.11142971849691674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992101970163057,0.055279255922075325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706503604957386,0.0755283415111206,0.0,0.0,0.1232532565099976,0.0,0.2279729527143981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389911120161826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4247335283927566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755935010840005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878919525610594,0.07248663178699499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704971206689196,0.0,0.11803987373884163,0.127827018766758,0.11614659969529,0.0935986483609418,0.0,0.11323147253826313,0.11534192811611906,0.0,0.0,0.1119080030401574,0.0,0.08008798048007659,0.0,0.0903615422109998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12952940107949326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006866835448072,0.07250179558635547,0.1111690618942736,0.0,0.06597853331274897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772506083655937,0.0,0.0,0.06673865836844263,0.08981301052756731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907232812143793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,koolandkrazy,2019/03/23,"Weight gain making me depressed. Any tips? I have been on lithium and citalopram for 2 years. I feel so much better. My depressive and aggressive are almost gone. They have only happened twice. My manic episodes are still there midly. Overall my mind is amazing. My mind is so healthy. I haven't felt aggressive or suicidal thoughts in over a year and my constant worrying is much better. But, I've gained nearly 30 lbs and I am so self conscious. I feel like i did before i started my lithium. I'm so depressed. I hate leaving the house and looking in the mirrow. I feel my weight everywhere i go. Any tips to anyone feeling the same? I exercise daily and eat healthy. I allow myself to eat unealthy once a week. I run and hike. I am not looking to stop my Lithium because i feel so much better mentally. Can someone please help me ",1.487926136363637,4.201585031250001,2.733863636363637,88.41568181818184,89.3125,4.90909090909091,26.647727272727273,6.574015621080383,1.4098125,655,31,118,8,22,210,96,160,0.13,0.6509999999999999,0.22,0.9347,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,5,7,11,3,0,5,0,13,5,0,2,0,25,29,14,1,0,3,0,8,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,7,4,1,8,1,0,3,2,6,0,1,5,10,27,5,9,24,4,16,0,3,2,0,3,6,0,2,8,76,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219442518170436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16562802864053622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08515082998249061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423545416992823,0.0,0.10362510763210092,0.0,0.0,0.32311134942657505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160002427281167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3146646724192009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492209944557309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.307876047199568,0.08699906625341278,0.1169271045851052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920991099844477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076889214050958,0.0,0.0,0.12023172232571715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08162601335162882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051681643564287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289465617638882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05949515312310415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20452767061828292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812885442899703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227247646460108,0.0,0.24592450084255396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685651149909163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969084589034796,0.0,0.09261854942291252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13367696347572144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704223755515065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10318309895985116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619592616621183,0.0,0.0972530056819448,0.10181284239221593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320665081949445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667906130713563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09768390779330914,0.29658845291478503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367266252036152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568435907652624 bipolarreddit,weatherthestorms,2019/03/23,Does anyone have a recommendation for a good pill cutter? The two I have blow.,1.7880000000000005,4.557609466666668,3.855,80.7825,87.66666666666666,5.666666666666668,14.166666666666668,7.1686216300943375,-0.08233333333333315,62,1,12,1,2,21,13,15,0.0,0.7909999999999999,0.209,0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4097176669325763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5127785593191799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4914764197712462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5723989092535996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,novannon__,2019/03/23,"Being tired I just wanted to know how you guys deal with fatigue, I get little episodes of being so tired all the time and wanted to know what helps you guys with this. It’s really frustrating being half asleep all the time lol Side note: I was on medication and it helped to fatigue a bit but since being off it’s gotten a little worse than it was ",4.045633802816901,5.055285112676058,4.739549295774649,86.37411267605634,71.11267605633802,7.370140845070423,21.242253521126766,7.554174236665415,0.605014647887324,277,5,57,3,5,89,46,71,0.175,0.773,0.051,-0.7909999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,3,3,1,0,4,1,6,6,1,1,2,13,12,5,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,6,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,5,0,9,5,3,7,0,2,0,0,7,5,0,0,2,39,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21986404771878432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076226673988382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052171624407496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39881249081080783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699728898047525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22135567031619305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4036883028368567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028776942013098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901460934085746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16659062168323432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23486247023424944,0.4629328366694036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375682722474728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20523205382092147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Chamomilesky,2019/03/23,"Accidentally took an extra dose of 200mg Lamotrigine I know to watch vigilantly for SJS rash, but other than that is there any other danger? I'm trying to stay mellow about it, but I can't seem to find any concrete medical response (not that Reddit is necessarily the best source either, but maybe someone else has a recommendation)",9.506994535519127,8.67326286885246,10.136721311475412,58.60322404371587,59.65573770491803,12.06775956284153,35.087431693989075,11.20814326018867,3.9829300546448083,269,9,44,6,3,92,51,61,0.125,0.785,0.08900000000000001,-0.09,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,3,0,4,3,1,0,0,8,8,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,1,2,1,7,7,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,29,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.406605559234662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31373965563591805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24974238396489504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732436580964036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16430037757449584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003451008883755,0.0,0.0,0.30117034464131265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721615915096586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25330749873978525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186511555335127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3321551155146957,0.2029739440325096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,youvebeengilmored_,2019/03/23,"Took night medicine this morning Accidentally took my night time medicine this morning instead of my morning. One was my Seroquel, so of course I’m now super exhausted and have a huge rest of the day ahead of me. If I take my morning pills tonight will that be okay? And then go back to my regular schedule tomorrow? Also, any tips of curing the seroquel drowsiness? ",4.531225490196079,6.923793985294122,4.447647058823531,83.36107843137258,72.38235294117645,6.886274509803924,34.86274509803922,7.793537801064563,2.709345098039216,293,16,52,4,6,90,49,68,0.067,0.816,0.117,0.5775,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,5,3,0,0,3,1,4,2,0,0,0,3,9,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,3,0,7,2,7,4,1,15,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,11,35,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22842145972593705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942409599807144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21963496594462945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18421034292948865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623324223908265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5360964439212296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935530356795334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21476127035588632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16655552114263614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6346999152841841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Sultryspice1994,2019/03/23,"Depressive Symptoms Seem to Always be Present. Hey everyone! I was officially diagnosed with RC Bipolar Disorder around 3 years ago. I have luckily been at baseline with very few manic/depressive episodes for about 2/3 years. But, lately I have become more cognizant of a background feeling of depression that always seems to be present. It is really more of the physical feelings rather than the emotional feelings (e.g. listlessness, fatigue, body aches, flat affect, etc.). I don’t feel “depressed”, but I have been depressed enough times in my life to know what the symptoms are. Does anyone else experience this? It is affecting my life, but I don’t know what to really do about it... Meds: 300mg seroquel XR 100mg Zoloft 50mg Topamax 2x/day",5.836363636363636,8.282007484848485,5.627878787878789,76.0868181818182,68.84848484848484,9.345454545454547,34.72727272727273,9.800150414767053,3.8998090909090894,596,30,96,15,11,185,91,132,0.125,0.8390000000000001,0.037000000000000005,-0.8805,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,4,0,14,9,1,2,0,17,22,3,0,1,4,0,4,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,8,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,4,8,0,16,17,5,10,0,5,0,0,1,3,0,2,7,58,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160814572094134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179258791595105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156500690977536,0.13417627356580747,0.0,0.11657545558372115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446267069453388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454586652476151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445350519304777,0.0,0.5639458223768135,0.1329139933937246,0.0,0.0,0.15008286776070748,0.0,0.114597382824041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939397936405199,0.14730389512921058,0.0,0.13530890005487334,0.14604661193936674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251306902188114,0.0,0.12809663659882706,0.0,0.0,0.2648539998492516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439360978985192,0.0,0.1477200821255906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849911946498232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454586652476151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16778300202474106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384284081269933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722194996708071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635943425356202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804949640720857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16865818542377484 bipolarreddit,indentionsofme,2019/03/23,"I feel no amount of therapy or meds. could ever help my obsessive worrying. So lost guys. Kinda exactly the title but I am struggling so bad. I have not been doing well lately and I feel lost. One day I want to die, then I am on top of the world, then overwhelmed by everything. I miss my cat that passed away so much that I can not get past it. He died in September and everyday a wave comes over me and I miss him so much. I feel like people can't understand that and think it's just over emotional. &#x200B; I have always had excessive worrying since a small child. The OCD type of if I don't worry about this enough, do this, ask this, something horrible will happen. Some of my worries are valid, but the people in my life assure me it will be manageable if they even happen. I don't see it that way for me it's my fault if I don't worry enough or fix it. I feel responsible for everything in everyone's life. I don't want anything bad to happen to the ones I love, I can not handle that. I want to go away from life to escape this, but I know that I will make things even worse by doing so. &#x200B; On tons of meds, no therapy, IOP, positive affirmations, or meditation can help this. This has been my burden my whole life and I am panicking and hysterical. I want it to be okay and I am so scared. I want to help and I want to fix everything for everyone but I don't know how, I feel so responsible and I want to do the right things, the right actions in my mind, press the right buttons in life, make the perfect choices. I spend my entire existence worrying. ",2.064108926844991,3.946568286604364,3.7985476420668185,87.54392523364487,77.97196261682242,7.792072188204965,22.906971747770967,8.641336200584522,1.4493447416478675,1224,38,264,27,29,410,145,321,0.21600000000000005,0.615,0.168,-0.9776,0,1,1,0,0,1,45.0,0,0,1,4,14,18,0,4,11,1,30,6,0,3,4,51,61,29,2,11,14,0,6,1,0,3,5,0,0,2,21,10,0,0,9,0,1,4,11,12,1,2,5,7,44,6,32,50,8,29,0,5,1,1,10,17,0,8,8,186,65,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061668106808549436,0.16060320945905746,0.18011126316540835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609888362096161,0.0,0.06928582321144043,0.0,0.13926355348855582,0.0,0.1237628271392111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06384194624583338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05917334739072036,0.0,0.0,0.04779687294310928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15383556964799122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08336735749951514,0.0,0.1531574631322004,0.0,0.09790211911937063,0.06703961868052448,0.0,0.14163664818886498,0.19982445486514624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18736926534801585,0.0529464740051664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038721080131209236,0.0,0.04212023084138895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338370497640281,0.1966141335774042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14902951652878849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146133624005931,0.0,0.08360290055887162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617416709365744,0.03620795847498258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16180659210212134,0.0,0.06689004282301267,0.0,0.098942252658899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646460813064477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748331893193338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10896343675032084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10044202412313956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074942094056437,0.10276150119268196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898767645271666,0.0,0.0,0.0742002271001335,0.0,0.059058612791924224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613071923027477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05705595047527926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774791924147723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695097716154678,0.0,0.0984750135486436,0.04748873623865304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715443908298852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3059971360687102,0.058827596382256875,0.0,0.0,0.06663665374008433,0.0,0.0,0.08274472405654673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.451593220015313,0.0755276669428107,0.0,0.0,0.18011126316540835,0.0 bipolarreddit,fairees,2019/03/23,"Wellbutrin making me suicidal? I am a bipolar 18 year old and I have had suicidal thoughts since I was 11, but until a few months ago i was thought to just have severe unipolar depression. I went on 300mg of Effexor, which worked wonders for my depression, but made me extremely manic. I went off of it and was on nothing for a month after the initial Effexor withdrawal (which is not fun). Last week I got put on 150mg of Wellbutrin (bupropion) and 12.5mg of lamictal (although I’m eventually gonna increase to 25mg) and ever since the first day of starting this my suicidal thoughts have been through the roof. I’m still waiting it out to see if things will get better but I keep getting worse every day. I can’t tell if it’s the medicine or just my life that’s making me feel this way, since it’s been pretty awful lately, I have absolutely no friends at all, my dad is dying, I may have a permanent STD, I get harassed by men almost on a daily basis, I either get terrible nightmares and sleep paralysis every night or I just don’t sleep, I can’t leave my dorm without getting extremely irritated by everyone because I can’t stand noise, I’m always in constant fear that I’m gonna gain weight, and more. I’m scared to switch medications because 1) I’m tired of them just making me worse and 2) I know a lot of antidepressants, especially the ones used to treat bipolar, cause weight gain and I absolutely cannot have that because I know it sounds stupid and shallow but I’m conventionally attractive and thin and that’s literally the only thing that brings me comfort and keeps me going. Should I just stay on Wellbutrin and wait it out?",5.74747678018576,6.214239993808054,6.454010835913312,77.55544349845205,67.01857585139321,9.679814241486067,33.4874613003096,9.642632912329526,3.0904502786377708,1310,56,251,26,20,431,173,323,0.192,0.695,0.113,-0.9851,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,1,5,7,13,2,2,12,1,23,10,2,6,2,54,60,23,4,3,16,1,4,0,1,5,6,1,1,1,17,15,2,4,7,0,0,6,8,7,0,2,13,6,32,6,30,42,6,38,1,2,1,1,5,11,0,8,18,152,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08566446263409701,0.0,0.09676979568801024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041122062494553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767303409333779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546916262303844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927466483699154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443220792828932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464805859349047,0.0,0.1664697083927924,0.0,0.1002958139231692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741532450586792,0.16284470883463012,0.09234251183882347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10874551373995656,0.048863479402758266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822009113074247,0.0,0.0,0.0746628947913202,0.0,0.2524489139040021,0.0,0.05492205534175745,0.0,0.07729087403334681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717940060058179,0.0,0.0,0.10622031094838404,0.07877351771279699,0.10901277223566087,0.10232653241650247,0.0,0.0,0.06825884022599801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215884932051994,0.0,0.0914419662909966,0.19352144210581226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735342099785303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542723314558573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068896443457808,0.0,0.09272753202468068,0.0,0.10140616099091654,0.0,0.06548494983684304,0.0734981597822428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09831639876047604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714868273740628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675229450927006,0.0,0.07700860929228769,0.0,0.0,0.10917433339989988,0.0,0.2398218343944083,0.0,0.1934171766426072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840143786980311,0.1030040993347226,0.07717586806802929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171214762158629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446656805111996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840504517331294,0.0,0.0,0.23016123033097016,0.0,0.11107208093879208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08346489244784429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670737884356618,0.07751781374121132,0.2353600400537732,0.0,0.1791702658882177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09315635168462398,0.10480065294406983,0.07035419513330712,0.0,0.1969663803262331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062232216800591364 bipolarreddit,rsund,2019/03/23,"Lamictol related disassociation Hi , I m on a dose up schedule with Lamictal and changed from 50 mg to 75 mg this Wednesday . I have been feeling a lot of disassociation since the beginning of this week and it makes me scared and anxious . Any one else experience this ? Does it go away ? Thanks ",4.205555555555557,6.721215111111111,5.8849629629629625,72.10633333333334,73.81481481481481,9.505185185185187,33.022222222222226,9.888512548439397,3.7174266666666673,232,12,43,7,5,79,44,54,0.096,0.823,0.08,-0.2168,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,7,7,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,3,1,8,6,1,8,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,4,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001409990147919,0.0,0.0,0.3324867052372376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765140805019962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3113411218621129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575528016210926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458583710323697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878918071359801,0.0,0.0,0.1488120583575335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16726324454438946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502119707624189,0.0,0.0,0.1964543150840963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19943217911965452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946558098751769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24345640310185565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27096125065348714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360778553472061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,throwthisawaymyguy,2019/03/23,"dear people of bipolarreddit, PLEASE help me - what can i expect? hello r/bipolarreddit. good morning to each and every one of you. please, i badly need your help and advice. the benefit of your experience would be absolutely priceless to me. my very best friend has always been COMPLETELY stable--in fact she's the rock of our friend group. she and i always spoke every single day, ever since we were 11. we would write and share poetry; go to movies together; do kitchen gardening together; shop together; ride horses together; watch tv for hours together; even travel together--we've been to portugal, spain, mexico, the bahamas, peru, and canada. we are southern and she really is as sweet as pecan pie. i love her like a sister. her 30th birthday was three months ago, december 28. she was NOT herself: speaking rapidly, having ""amazing"" ideas, vastly inflated self-esteem, incredibly project-oriented, overly friendly to everyone, no filter when speaking (lots of sextalk, really a no-no in AL), said she didn't sleep anymore. it was frightening to watch. a doctor friend who was at her birthday party told me quietly he thought she was manic. he was right. the past three months has been hell. she has been hospitalized twice. she lost her job and her boyfriend. she is spending all of her money. all she wants to do is go out to honkeytonks and drink, or go out dancing in the nearest city (formerly she had no interest in either activity). my momma was a raging alcoholic and i have terrible anxiety about drinking (and in general), so i simply cannot go out with her. she is being aggressive to strangers when she is out. she has de-escalated a few times but not to the point of normality (we went to see a romcom and she laughed loudly at every joke, but very artificially, almost inappropriately). i am so scared for her. before her second hospitalization she attacked her boyfriend and her sister (this is why her bf left). she refuses to take her risperdol. will she ever be ""normal"" again? she is in denial. after her first hospitalization she told me was fine. i am exhausted and run down from the uncertainty of it all and frankly a little afraid of her. i already know we will never travel together again, but will she ever be my poetry-writing, mint-growing bff again? i really struggle to be around drunk/unpredictable people. even her horse seems nervous around her now. i am desperate to help her but i feel myself pulling away because i can't condone or participate in the drinking/aggression toward strangers. i cannot speak to her honestly about her condition because she doesn't believe she has it. bp1 is NOT!!!!!! a problem for me in our friendship but her choice to drink and not take meds is. i feel my trust vanishing. it is so heartbreaking. her very religious gamma recently told me she feels her granddaughter is dead. i have read every single thing i could find about bp1 but i'm still confused about outcomes. i have been there for her as much as i can, was right there after the first hospitalization, have taken her out to flower shows, a dressage event, and dinner (even when she's irritable and delusional), but i am just so scared. i am scared of her. PLEASE help us. what can i do? what can i expect? god bless all of you. god bless your families. i hope you all feel good today.",4.005089213414124,6.654156205930808,4.829621645771091,78.76091140088796,75.07907742998353,8.200921453103621,26.927344818920503,8.985284822729394,2.539344310725156,2615,101,453,62,59,844,294,607,0.112,0.743,0.145,0.9501,2,0,5,0,0,0,118.0,8,6,0,4,27,40,4,7,18,0,66,10,1,0,10,82,93,37,1,11,15,3,4,1,5,5,3,7,2,0,10,31,6,1,9,13,3,11,12,17,0,7,26,15,101,23,64,56,13,65,3,2,3,1,95,27,1,7,28,333,111,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415306723553106,0.06726667875514437,0.0810970283143081,0.07598696775289654,0.0,0.08373999467612868,0.0,0.12628330534660492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0580511311173294,0.0,0.07525663954328955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351058801293006,0.0,0.08632912218634141,0.07129561275266194,0.0,0.06336005635255414,0.0925164897578806,0.0,0.0645717825539223,0.08549539828964617,0.07963568445740407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956303827600487,0.0,0.0,0.06058728152724072,0.0,0.0,0.04893896872192245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07767059494038996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230125947816508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503622031224391,0.20592454692428486,0.25574251864375924,0.07251051239108414,0.0,0.07422921378530921,0.07153677882853393,0.0,0.15347713022532528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935669541692722,0.12909395855115754,0.0,0.0,0.23451147906263026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17250673801697405,0.12729597065660606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20345405878264855,0.0,0.0,0.075370036528221,0.07473055580028425,0.0,0.0,0.08566391568097778,0.0,0.0,0.07530326315237626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04170391848692072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244829998067522,0.0,0.0,0.037073139688467836,0.07605580670955174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283646253711863,0.0645139507585727,0.0684883657016605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429013162465669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113993413083993,0.0,0.055783547067025284,0.0562671008759685,0.05852649836662776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14870061850599725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05142103211207632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243996281149119,0.105216964688722,0.0,0.0,0.24989387268966154,0.07173500527714559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261083823187306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590463835029916,0.0,0.1458398985818826,0.0,0.07492639701998652,0.0,0.0,0.1296092187352254,0.07218315927037926,0.0,0.2279196756784789,0.0,0.06046980537041158,0.0690820373948507,0.07916366917271797,0.0,0.0,0.0627721141946714,0.0,0.07593890562599928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060601142706698224,0.0,0.0,0.07933054069665865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141108031773233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050414026182048974,0.0,0.0,0.06024350147268572,0.04424863072310221,0.0,0.07192925678125968,0.2175315371732524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09127923258711418,0.0,0.0,0.1878369966884624,0.04475841005895578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034532376310858,0.06847359997128515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781177914859996,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Fantafyren,2019/03/23,"Recently started treatment, and I was told to double my quetiapine dose last night, but got hit with some kinda scary side effects. Is that normal? So, my psychiatrist wanted me to double my dose from 50mg to 100mg last night, and I did. As soon as the meds start to kick in, my heart starts beating like crazy and I get this extremely dizzy feeling, like I am about to pass out any second. At times it feels like my body just starts falling, as I lay in the bed. I have taken a lot of different drugs, but this feeling made me panick a bit, thinking I might be allergic or something. A couple of hours in, and the symptons didn't change, so I figured, that if it was something that was truly dangerous, surely my symptoms must have gotten worse by now, and I went to bed. Didn't feel any side effects this morning, except for some pretty bad shoulder pain, but that started while I was on 50mg. Are these normal side effects, and I just have to get used to them? Didn't feel anything like that at all, while I was on 50mg. But I have only been in treatment for like 5 days, so most of you know better than me. I also took 10mg of zopiclone (about 5mg of lunesta/eszopiclone) last night, and some melatonin. I am also on a lot of tramadol and sometimes some instant release oxycontin, due to some pain I got after being admitted to the hospital with acute pancreatitis. Which is actually how I found out I have bipolar. so maybe it had something to do with mixing it? I have been on zopiclone for over 6 years though, and never experienced anything like that. Thanks for reading it all! I hope some of you can help me out, since I am kinda new to this, and can't call my psychiatris till monday. ",5.557678571428577,5.642460363095237,6.02807142857143,81.76692857142861,67.39285714285714,8.505714285714287,30.78809523809524,8.07648339933343,2.042769523809523,1326,47,264,15,20,429,171,336,0.111,0.743,0.146,0.8994,1,0,4,0,0,0,45.0,0,2,1,5,14,14,1,0,8,0,31,11,3,6,5,62,60,30,0,6,9,0,5,6,0,2,8,0,2,0,17,16,0,0,13,1,0,4,5,4,0,1,21,6,35,10,51,34,14,47,0,0,0,0,7,17,0,15,32,187,52,1,0.0,0.0,0.09374741109095376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536492886631243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13065753701989094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15810970354553694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021182697142899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496334315265239,0.1048801451716696,0.1067086401510656,0.0,0.0,0.09809501914898958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162601454914023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629616872393756,0.0,0.06195518623658512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003694364098126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140707448361324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24287148959442575,0.13726038778582936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533236868644376,0.0,0.0,0.10038195317363983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366690983102135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11383970808840252,0.0643916005570712,0.0,0.0,0.09541608194274026,0.0946065195708981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05279584151709196,0.23492197225423034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816005323068933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16334524157288952,0.0,0.09090079886240754,0.0,0.0,0.09651208707507636,0.0,0.1067086401510656,0.0,0.0,0.1019117718614764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409269546898573,0.0927819854211461,0.0,0.27045676015562525,0.18825027894197424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07306318652271326,0.20444385404704454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773454739765616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960928709375691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485444835967988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946751079887247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22187091874036005,0.09501259468811928,0.0,0.3399831389187133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09054189172447387,0.09985026530742053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844547047453627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06155577377013284,0.09438521582615317,0.0,0.05601736670710925,0.0,0.0,0.09179601484506633,0.1067338316362299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297093455241013,0.0,0.0,0.056662731219627525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905495453695504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790035170347297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06186391710071178 bipolarreddit,CrochetCatsCoffee,2019/03/23,"Wellbutrin in conjunction with other meds Hi everyone, first post in this sub. My pdoc has prescribed Wellbutrin for depression, which I am taking together with 900mg Lithium, 100mg Sertralin and 1,5 mg Risperidone. Has anyone been on this combination? I started taking it on Friday, and I am a mess. Zero appetite, shaking, cold sweats, hot sweats, all the sweats. basically I am white-knuckling it till Monday when I can call the doc, but am feeling pretty alone right now and would appreciate any advice you might have. Would you for example consider stopping the Wellbutrin before consulting the doc?",7.1254807692307685,9.456784432692311,6.4992307692307705,71.62076923076923,65.25,9.046153846153846,35.115384615384606,9.516144504307137,3.7951384615384613,487,23,71,10,8,150,75,104,0.096,0.815,0.09,0.4784,0,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,1,2,3,0,1,5,0,12,3,3,0,1,12,16,6,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,2,1,3,8,0,9,12,1,14,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,1,7,49,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309663472358099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.244795654000137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16073157647486233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16526704149733554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20112328871863994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24134799157814496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035748388482844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258502420401693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950972992049368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20104603334927967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625405062144785,0.0,0.0,0.2507385356597974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263656728555504,0.2404611052310121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20184848001148045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16729544162448964,0.0,0.0,0.19760591003112932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3554236712326074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3358039491455388,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,berfica,2019/03/24,"Should I call my psychiatrist? -TRIGGER WARN- I don't know what to do. All of the sudden last Friday I took a nose dive deep deep into suicidal/harmful depression. I saw my Pdoc Thursday, when I was doing ok. Now I am constantly thinking of suicide. I tried to smother myself with a pillow, twice. I figured it wouldn't work, but gave it a go. Then I tried to see if I could get a gun from Amazon - spoiler alert... no you can't -. I was in so much mental anguish I self harmed the ""typical"" way... but that wasn't enough. I wanted to break my hand. I needed to. For three days over and over I've been beating it with a hammer. Yesterday it was as swollen as a half a golf ball. I haven't told anyone. I don't trust anyone. I don't want to go to the hospital again. I tried calling my therapist, but she only works 2 days a week. I'm afraid to call my doc. I don't want to waste his time, or for him to think I am just trying to get attention or something. I don't know what to do. I'm desperate for help, but I don't trust anyone. I've tried sooooo many treatments. Last month I finished a round of 25 ECT with Ketamine sessions. I've gone through all the drugs. Nothing helps. Nothing will ever help. I just want to be put out. And I 100% do not want to go sit in the stupid hospital. That would make 6 months in a row. ",-0.21295175624206308,1.9638069388489217,1.8606940330088868,96.28552264071101,89.32374100719427,4.853322048243758,19.32754972492594,6.37848985222837,-0.024872534913246813,1011,31,232,11,34,336,152,278,0.189,0.745,0.067,-0.9835,0,0,2,1,0,1,49.0,0,1,0,3,7,9,2,2,15,1,25,4,2,2,3,38,49,14,1,11,10,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,1,1,8,7,0,0,6,2,0,6,12,6,0,3,10,5,35,3,34,33,4,36,0,1,3,0,13,9,0,3,18,143,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380598796918821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34765113066961306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263997094832138,0.0,0.09061075629776412,0.0,0.0,0.14638045664195254,0.0,0.09774685705719532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316097927119571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726321206253006,0.0,0.0,0.1026561926680634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858536013480322,0.0,0.19349315901164532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22820539649716226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473982985954545,0.18501537246877495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07575397318686453,0.11505879447048925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436898780219942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811697236246116,0.0,0.0834265750385662,0.0841497495272468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21778916790546607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631256926635959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140865626126034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043506590286736,0.0,0.11839250341378788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736843615954665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413720952482435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317680575448501,0.0,0.14543677165318486,0.0,0.0,0.06617563610537802,0.0,0.0,0.10844243546957097,0.12608909732266002,0.3852537592778235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3346901597081887,0.09008131590358244,0.0910330501843606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16524090830610585,0.0,0.0,0.08061846150061998,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,showmethememez,2019/03/24,Are manic episodes somewhat forced? Like I mean when I’ve been manic it’s like I’ve lost track in thought. I have an underlying feeling like I’ve needed to change for a while. Like I’m not happy with who I am. So before I go manic or at least the early stages I’m thinking of shifting my mindset to a more positive energetic state. Whether that’s mania taking place or just me thinking myself into mania I don’t know. But it usually blows up into insanity where I have no self control. I feel like now I have a gf it’s less likely to happen because she gives me affirmation of who I am. I don’t feel the need to change who I am or “improve”. Maybe this isn’t what mania is like for you guys but I’m interested to hear what your opinions of how in control we are of it happening in the first place,1.8325000000000031,3.606915821428572,3.949428571428573,86.69557142857145,78.28571428571428,6.3847619047619055,24.29523809523809,7.3011,1.0287709523809525,630,22,133,8,15,216,98,168,0.06,0.8029999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.8424,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,2,0,4,6,10,0,0,7,0,13,0,0,3,0,27,33,10,0,2,8,0,3,7,1,0,0,1,0,2,11,4,0,2,8,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,3,4,19,9,20,30,4,20,0,1,0,0,12,11,0,5,13,90,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857690935646829,0.0,0.1197248895629218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29768277529950965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156128485338676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21342564514906376,0.20103146500453944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967890090281323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497175635544828,0.07996275362498705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13931460022651987,0.2488401607870806,0.14977720661284472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15857853318237802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732475142711365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4811705927232577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15359009673858245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14135153315770624,0.15326297489963125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086537546884528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2940020084254444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467802370359624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578849435457834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18030908378032945,0.0,0.11169966625403148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549605929912309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,IdealPail,2019/03/24,"Psychiatrist came into my work? I recently saw my psych, and most of what she asked me about my work. The next day, she comes in(never seen her there before) and makes eye contact with me the whole time and it was really uncomfortable. I'm working on switching to a new doctor soon, for other issues with her. Was it inappropriate for her to show up? Maybe she was just hungry? She asked me a lot about work, now she suddenly shows up??",2.9403571428571422,5.250754940476192,4.238333333333333,83.37750000000003,76.97619047619048,7.533333333333335,21.214285714285715,8.472884824447931,1.2356000000000005,341,9,68,7,8,112,58,84,0.047,0.953,0.0,-0.5931,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,0,4,0,3,2,1,1,0,12,11,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,3,15,0,13,5,3,14,0,0,3,0,11,4,0,2,8,49,19,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37761617807001546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718555895136277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309918036455898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397319267127012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302493904806116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20671763041709768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107968412330331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170167216940482,0.0,0.0,0.13481183295128274,0.0,0.20289892225547584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950570691941377,0.21478988146790284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293826330640492,0.0,0.1994140415629542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776621640790733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22548441373308215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5881257124911735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Caserole,2019/03/24,"Am I ruining my friendships or are they abandoning me? Some suicidal ideations... I moved to a new city in August and immediately made a band of friends in the form of coworkers. I recently left this job for something better and at first they were still there, still able to hang out, etc. But, now the closest one has stopped talking to me, going as far as ignoring me on my birthday when we had made plans to get Banh mi. That’s all I wanted. Still haven’t heard from her, it’s been a month. There’s one who isn’t “too busy or tired” who will go out of their way. In fact, I just saw her this afternoon. But, looking at their Instagram story, I see they met up with two of our mutual friends and went to a place I love and wanted to go to this morning but didn’t have time. I told them this today. What gives? I make an effort to make plans but usually, no one wants to do it when it comes time. My partner from out of state was in town and they share the same friends. Only two, a couple, made some time for us during the few days he was here. This also happened before he moved. I’m confused. I stay in my room and do nothing. I’m starting to have suicidal ideations again and panic attacks in bed about dying. So, I feel like I’m a burden and should kill myself to save the torment of existing but the idea of dying petrifies me. Now it’s controlling my sleep. Help. In between insurance enrollments so I can’t see a doctor until May. Tl;dr: friends have suddenly vanished while I was on my high. It’s like pulling teeth to get anyone to see me and all I do is waste away in my room, wanting to die. 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Or is my only option switching medications? 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My mania state is very odd. I become extremely self confident and I just feel like I’m unstoppable. And then I crash, hard. I think I’m currently on my up and I’m making a lot of changes in my life. I can’t wait to feel on top of the world and hopefully these meds will keep me there. I have just recently been diagnosed with bipolar 1 and I must say I’m terrified of what’s to come. I’m praying this brings my confidence back in myself. I can’t take another crash. I know for a fact I won’t make it out of it. Good luck, everyone . ",0.06993230769230863,1.960310824000004,2.603200000000001,93.5249846153846,84.76,7.366153846153848,20.815384615384616,8.384062270229773,1.0628523076923075,443,14,108,11,13,153,78,125,0.121,0.667,0.213,0.8906,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,4,0,9,3,0,2,2,25,28,6,0,2,2,0,4,2,0,3,3,1,0,1,5,8,0,3,5,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,5,17,5,15,24,1,16,1,0,0,0,2,8,0,3,7,62,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21321432923318848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15635195581025485,0.0,0.0,0.224567377061188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21510132006482285,0.1751549769229211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20638060218323165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19429517193470314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084366434104909,0.29052492844797057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17054763295508962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18214809503642124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019573951842075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807333657574301,0.0,0.0,0.11174752109134772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362142456035976,0.19867828297999507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17286802618657432,0.0,0.0,0.27145519521661404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22585919029342236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20076864321312032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16170004150351402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21212260409825007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15288250897583822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13028876763798258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16777255400083008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,NoBiscotti5,2019/03/24,"What can you do when you're thinking about suicide? I'm seriously considering it and I think I'd be better off dead. My question is: When you're suffering from emotional pain, and the pain hurts so much that you think about killing yourself not just because you feel worthless and like you're a bad person but because you want the pain to stop, how do you care for yourself? Is there any drug you can take for emotional pain?",4.837389558232932,6.217334686746991,4.732710843373496,85.77007028112452,69.6024096385542,7.9429718875502004,30.700803212851405,8.344100000000001,2.1122706827309234,341,14,68,5,6,105,55,83,0.33,0.5479999999999999,0.122,-0.9667,0,0,1,0,0,1,7.0,0,6,0,1,8,13,1,0,3,0,7,5,0,1,0,14,15,8,3,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,10,0,0,0,1,8,3,7,14,1,4,0,3,0,0,8,1,0,1,4,40,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063128450047689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053280695264693,0.19060016345795355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382651921610892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15939347798058964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18129842812218352,0.0,0.0,0.35171062052084523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07904743842032996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16735935352263856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17296100052046767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07637715722909404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149238715937533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6654038722365374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365052861983109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751304584758861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307026717830477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17100460759467548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754411454020575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3005185732979101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09221015946109663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ashxgxo,2019/03/24,"Dealing w mania? Hey all, I’m new to this.. I’ve had a few acute psychotic episodes / manic episodes over the last three years.. all of which have resulted in a short term stay in hospital. I’ve lost a long term relationship and left jobs because my delusions feel so real to me (ridiculous in hindsight but they feel real and I cannot help but believe them during these times). I’ve resorted to moving home to my parents, and am trying to find a new job whilst learning more about myself — my question is does anybody have advice for how to keep it together while in mania? The medication I am given at the hospital usually makes me aggressive and labile and I can’t bare to go through these episodes for the rest of my life, I’m beginning to think I’ll never settle down or have children because I can’t get it together.. TY in advance x",4.4277272727272745,5.744975121212121,5.3628030303030325,81.10420454545455,70.51515151515152,8.40909090909091,31.32575757575757,8.841846274778883,2.6137575757575764,665,29,126,12,12,218,107,165,0.044,0.926,0.029,0.1084,3,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,2,2,3,3,2,0,8,0,10,2,0,3,3,23,22,11,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,6,5,0,1,6,0,0,3,4,3,0,1,3,2,13,0,22,19,7,27,0,1,0,0,9,10,0,2,13,77,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808376770766366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19723196654238173,0.0,0.0,0.18226400049462255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16678198253559412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14156959567500574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635956805799782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14785858678556635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08452028465142465,0.0,0.09193994300351488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843376196974933,0.0,0.16227260176613634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3210716428491932,0.1437922435917251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186747443507407,0.0,0.0,0.1757680213097323,0.0,0.11426582346223367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14316497824847918,0.0,0.0,0.17659552854164096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798546076769992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16297037541737022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17194025492208256,0.0,0.0,0.1247701506823136,0.31248484694274264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17963098143430947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18122400369445524,0.0,0.0,0.3682686608333427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17368482958675968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17242965440811822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365830423703196,0.0,0.0,0.0943317723917612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983398746751924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17817130403263978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417720950218293 bipolarreddit,CorrinCarnation,2019/03/24,"I'm frustrated Every time I start to get upset and have depression symptoms I start to get really frustrated. My coping mechanisms dont work. I really struggle to stay calm. I can recognize what is going wrong but I feel powerless to change anything. I feel like I'm missing something or doing something wrong. ",3.4645864661654144,6.5608011228070255,4.975187969924813,73.89631578947372,81.63157894736842,8.871177944862154,29.195488721804512,9.23628265651192,3.7528015037594,252,12,38,8,7,84,39,57,0.334,0.5660000000000001,0.099,-0.9367,1,0,2,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,0,10,2,2,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,5,15,3,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,8,0,0,0,2,7,2,4,15,0,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,20,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17239644036591134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216178104691746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18043763761273987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455264451714297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17650847618789564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118538171081272,0.14966318781760535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2189048618275219,0.0,0.11906077104814518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234861889395316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684155757136659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3225587951809775,0.0,0.0,0.2965631159614923,0.22329367339950293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21900954018575364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21774539984047747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221581522502342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525147714687688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45809953972960293,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,me_aninsect,2019/03/25,"Never gets better I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder late last year, started meds, was doing great! The best I’ve been in years, until my meds started giving me side effects. It’s been about 2 weeks since I’ve stopped the meds and realized that I’m never going to get better. I can’t function without meds. I just think it’s better to kill myself now (16) then let my life get worse. There’s no hope. I’ll always be like this.",2.360258620689656,4.3896701264367834,3.5707902298850582,88.83135775862068,77.6206896551724,5.729310344827588,22.36925287356322,6.6274283507984215,0.5830701149425286,339,10,67,3,8,110,65,87,0.221,0.619,0.161,-0.6136,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,5,4,8,1,0,2,0,7,3,0,1,2,11,18,3,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,4,0,7,7,7,12,1,16,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,14,36,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445585757352983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14435432352693406,0.3649657185185145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396143051580051,0.0,0.0,0.15764867764120052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21559869413616425,0.13195422750301192,0.07817504690249154,0.0,0.11001441342814296,0.15165365182540685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662205217877155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218300148188782,0.0,0.0,0.11212478126597182,0.15516678189597996,0.0,0.0,0.1406581743979778,0.09715838205566908,0.0672018836431403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6111654599858101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21218008327997134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137860011208174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19472270585635412,0.0,0.0,0.11500121318558422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813897997797229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033743524872036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259704351729829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14017916777151465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17716039346886456 bipolarreddit,keikeimcgee,2019/03/25,"How to ask for a reasonable accommodation? So basically I’m asking for a reasonable accommodation tomorrow. I work in a job where I have the option to work from home two days a week. Many of the offices in my company work from home three and four, some even five days a week. It’s up to our individual office - mine is two. When I go into the office I start work at 6am and leave my house at 450am which means I’m up at 430am. I get home about 415/430pm. I work 9 hr days. Problem is when I get up so early I fall into a depressive state and want to die. My boss is great and I have reason that I’ll be approved for three days work from home - I’m just so nervous. I have no idea how to start the conversation. Any ideas? I’ve been here 4.5 years with the same management and my immediate boss knows I’m bipolar. Thanks!",1.5142763157894734,3.4028703216374296,3.5523940058479546,88.62929276315792,79.7017543859649,7.0820175438596475,21.213815789473685,8.07648339933343,0.8431780701754392,639,18,146,12,16,217,95,171,0.1,0.833,0.068,-0.6318,1,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,1,0,0,7,12,5,0,1,11,0,8,1,0,7,0,25,23,12,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,3,8,0,0,7,0,0,2,1,3,0,6,1,0,16,2,24,21,2,27,0,1,0,0,4,11,0,2,13,87,19,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502258321346136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062719156399766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845936466248922,0.0,0.09501997443576984,0.0,0.11449657438586452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286648523442553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11527713757458463,0.0,0.06269840134782961,0.0,0.0,0.12163013525112865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4426469010493418,0.0,0.0,0.12729650458876055,0.0,0.24907968827810506,0.0,0.0,0.10947732871661736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060629956815086074,0.0,0.0,0.11681481980343295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184895390344007,0.0,0.12017274388880793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055630297111374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402874450843793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15617262601127976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156945890568077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155366678182784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06507063526506461,0.0,0.17698693056221104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4818933525546162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104359954209548 bipolarreddit,Stardust_and_Shadows,2019/03/25,"I need help I am barely hanging on after some information and events today. I quit smoking last week but am craving one (first time since I quit that actually feels like I #need one. I also want to get drunk and just go numb. I am not looking for advice or all that. I posted this because I am proud me. I might be hanging on only by the tips of my nails, but I still am.",2.2796153846153837,3.4073223461538475,4.154358974358973,88.43230769230772,75.53846153846153,6.2256410256410275,23.256410256410252,6.42735559955562,0.48385641025641,285,8,63,2,6,97,56,78,0.08,0.7829999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,4,3,3,0,0,1,0,7,2,0,0,1,15,14,6,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,2,1,0,3,1,1,0,3,0,2,13,2,7,12,2,14,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,3,9,45,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.2090274095612484,0.0,0.0,0.20931286800730564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17129493186228648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13057377483578764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10830549395534897,0.15302386999470388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821976333152385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191018180879242,0.0,0.1217342769188122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14357313237043653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17460084404065812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046468539134206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17987328500657332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272313808787081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31765181665100684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902936886774452,0.1629080572509461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20514351450267285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4556541889637046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17718769759362166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17105966694768207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249012097184138,0.0,0.2030356880949805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634017075962672,0.0,0.1718175866761283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Ramen8ion,2019/03/25,"Does anyone else feel frozen in a hypomanic or manic episode Like your body can’t keep up with your mind and it creates this intense frustration. I find it especially painful when I’m feeling ill/chronic pain flairs up and I’m having racing thoughts and so many ideas for things, but I don’t have the physical energy to do them. Makes you feel like a prisoner in your body type feeling. It makes me really angry and just useless. I’ve been so unproductive because of it, and I have no idea how to reconcile these two things. My concentration is too low to be productive and it’s getting frustrating. I’ve been trying to get an appointment with the mental health team for months, they don’t seem to give a shit. What do you do in this situation, if you can’t get access to meds’ changes?",4.8075974025974055,6.101573915584417,5.4245454545454574,81.10681818181818,69.58441558441558,9.236363636363636,29.584415584415584,9.573946990214177,2.6132025974025983,629,24,124,14,11,203,101,154,0.201,0.7190000000000001,0.08,-0.9762,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,6,2,1,6,9,3,0,6,0,14,6,3,3,0,27,29,13,0,1,4,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,11,8,0,1,10,1,0,0,5,7,0,1,3,4,13,2,16,25,0,8,0,2,0,0,10,6,1,3,4,77,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443602401097687,0.15303702801693422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09104850388129627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3318107029986538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15800313490437118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307059916022237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477116139769286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020837285024737,0.10670285391278378,0.0,0.0,0.13651238537882554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341033940909336,0.14327977563534186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15876275523039507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372186463095751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327580805310099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145939557873456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993979944771029,0.1514276538853997,0.0,0.0,0.1659053514993269,0.0,0.15051980667655007,0.0,0.1508110788829756,0.0,0.11921777179134972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.317859260689054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568387651275843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13597178549107564,0.0,0.0,0.15331595121260402,0.0,0.1678869609838939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984563690438577,0.0,0.0,0.11857520085367228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140567383214524,0.0,0.14590307193295432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,BipolarMeHeHe,2019/03/25,"Anyone train in a martial art? I was recently thinking of getting into wrestling or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, maybe kickboxing. Really anything to compete and get out some of my aggression. Have any of you found success on a similar path? ",5.292073170731708,8.273900097560977,5.963597560975611,70.56295731707318,72.41463414634147,8.978048780487804,39.51829268292683,9.516144504307137,4.9209951219512185,188,12,26,5,4,61,38,41,0.052000000000000005,0.852,0.096,0.4329,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,2,0,2,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,6,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,3,1,8,4,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,1,18,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621771530345149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695751723494416,0.0,0.3172626155993539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4227194415947021,0.0,0.0,0.4028524538175294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38732192263674187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24698371798679766,0.0,0.3806694935603193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470353856040193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,shameraider,2019/03/25,"Weight Loss & Bipolar My care provider and I have been talking about weight management for a while. Yes, I put on weight thanks to meds. Slowly but surely I've gone back down to 235 lbs at 68 inches tall. It still isn't healthy for a guy to be at that BMI so we've been talking about realistic strategies for the rest of 2019. This would help contain any comorbidities. If you gained weight due to meds, did you feel particularly different when you shed the excess? Did life just roll on? I'm in a place now where I don't think I've been voluntarily photographed for a while just out of fear of how I look to myself and others.",3.560476190476192,5.183741238095241,3.933523809523809,89.30314285714289,73.12698412698413,6.9447619047619025,23.711111111111112,7.554174236665415,0.7914025396825402,500,14,108,6,10,156,88,126,0.069,0.799,0.132,0.8033,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,2,11,5,0,1,6,1,10,6,0,1,1,13,17,9,0,2,4,0,5,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,3,4,1,2,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,6,6,9,3,21,9,1,20,0,1,1,0,7,11,0,1,7,66,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16124864414762308,0.0,0.10120410683399232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144349809646096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15173401270058753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548738169983833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16746619697672724,0.0752489071521475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14735724111404794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09975229245286492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051174249820092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12497305195054627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33061552710317577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548738169983833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149607279232102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884949253756374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402630340665374,0.0,0.0,0.23923507549876785,0.0,0.13701536164002542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535916942829242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7249007241319111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571892433941467,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,dina_047,2019/03/25,"bi-polar /ADHD - looking for advice I'm 37 years old and i have bi-polar and ADHD. I am a mother of three and have spent the majority of my life raising my kids and taking care of my disabled mother who has Parkinson's disease. I need a job desperately and I know if I find the right one , I will absolutely flourish in it. I have a mindset for success , however I just need someone to give me a chance. I spend time dwelling about different things I could be good in , but I don't know what field to get into with no experience. I also have a major fear of going on the interview once that time finally comes. Anyone have any suggestions?",3.368437499999999,4.855857718750002,5.25825,80.16175000000003,73.375,7.932500000000001,27.64375,8.548686976883017,2.072894375,500,19,97,9,10,172,88,128,0.077,0.846,0.077,-0.4497,3,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,2,8,0,11,1,0,0,0,17,24,8,0,4,3,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,8,0,0,3,0,2,2,2,2,0,2,1,1,16,3,14,20,2,12,0,0,1,0,7,5,0,1,5,66,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4328817667809553,0.17598812473565198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440230317522232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247173264915523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592759534803696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18362028991305912,0.0,0.0,0.15513710795707836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14379232655262314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18816241393342029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761688440099874,0.0,0.20265852785546912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197286811019315,0.1646048534380548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940929395447768,0.17276488432639334,0.10235293852189044,0.15105632172371086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787178947914374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19795255091282146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12720741847247038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15123562358929332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670784078565713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889808838554672,0.19179679593237794,0.1220379864346315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15380134769891088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15259510136594598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354100849225134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964805043022735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21003132664343246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597618152919008 bipolarreddit,Pickles_Aplenty,2019/03/25,"Should I own a gun? I’m a security guard. I’m a security guard for a college where we are not required to carry a firearm. I have a degree in criminal justice and know how to properly use it and when. I own a handgun, thats the culture we have in my area and my profession. I’m also newly diagnosed. Prior, I have had bouts off depression where i disassembled the weapon and gave it to a friend for safe keeping so I wouldn’t be tempted. What do you folks think?",1.6639583333333334,3.5973266458333337,4.18041666666667,84.08958333333338,79.41666666666666,7.6,27.333333333333336,8.515128840125781,2.0938833333333333,362,16,76,8,9,127,62,96,0.124,0.721,0.155,0.4515,0,0,0,3,0,0,10.0,2,1,0,1,6,6,1,0,10,0,9,1,0,2,0,18,17,8,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,4,6,0,7,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,11,4,8,12,2,8,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,0,2,55,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3487838762797457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3756498402904512,0.4426765693580883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3369634604970154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3876644678602466,0.0,0.0,0.2396931143125024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27946320571673083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37668803316351457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,calesia_apartment,2019/03/25,"Should I have waited out this depressive episode to decide whether to end it with my boyfriend? I’ve got bipolar 1, psychoaffective with rapid cycling. Emphasis on the rapid cycling. My relationship with a person I really love was going amazing but in the past few months I’ve gotten increasingly DEPRESSED. I decided that I didn’t want to be a burden on my boyfriend anymore so I broke up with him over the phone last night. It was super out of the blue and I instantly regretted it. I can’t tell if I made the right decision though. If you love something let it free? I’m the worst right now. We’re in our mid 20s. I don’t want this incredible person to waste any more time with this worthless version of myself. I love being with him and I want to be with him. But I don’t know if I can handle friendship or love right now. ",2.4520681818181806,4.706988581818184,3.5930871212121254,87.66963068181822,78.33333333333333,6.791666666666668,24.85795454545455,7.8658589789855275,1.3899772727272723,656,24,133,11,16,212,98,165,0.16899999999999998,0.619,0.212,0.8219,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,1,1,0,1,4,14,0,0,8,0,13,5,0,1,0,29,27,11,0,8,7,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,8,11,0,1,4,0,1,2,4,7,0,0,6,1,22,8,22,16,5,22,0,5,1,4,14,12,0,4,8,89,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556225040051674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15394721749917545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674000788775732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13748839211925645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822122698654432,0.0,0.12415223173376058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531077455539059,0.12653380037264386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15873398511106546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.560407341854357,0.14688311306005486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239037239813819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567356714479335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481853399015769,0.0,0.2710830511969445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09944480966860077,0.0,0.0,0.16665975934428207,0.0,0.3976987022198716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950423483592333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13567853982235545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15251344873630027,0.0,0.09051631350150444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746773997648325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Jspeo,2019/03/25,"I don’t want to be me anymore. Bipolar 2, currently depressed. Just took another stab at meds and had side effects as usual and had to come off. I get worse and worse as time passes. Hopeless. Helpless. A shell of myself. The roller coaster ride of this illness and the meds takes an enormous toll. I’m scared to go back on meds, scared not too. I get every side effect I’ve even had gene testing and the meds that are suited to my DNA still give me awful side effects. I don’t really know why I’m posting guess I just had to vent. Thanks. 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I feel like I want to jump out of my own skin, like I want to rip off my limbs. Like everything inside me is wrong - all my bones ache as if they don't fit inside my body, like they want to burst out. Like I want to explode. It's a kind of intense restless agitation to which nothing brings relief. Sometimes I go for a run or bike ride to try calm myself down, but it doesn't have a big effect, and often I end up overexerting myself and get hurt. What appeals to me most in this state is the thought of hurting myself or not living or losing myself in drugs. It's very hard to keep myself from self-harming. I've been in this state for so long and I don't know how much more I can take. In the past I've described it as 'restlessness', because I don't know how else to describe it. But it's clear to me that it's much more than that. Is this a mixed episode? I've been like this for so long... Sometimes they'll last for one day, sometimes days, sometimes weeks or maybe even months. I'll then have a brief period of respite before returning to the state I've described above. While in this state I can often get into a kind of semi-mania and get things done which I never thought I could - read books, make art, play music, write essays - but always with this horrible exploding depressive restlessness underneath. And it's extremely hard to motivate myself to do anything. But if I curl up in bed or try to calm down with a film or music, my heart begins to pound and shake my entire body, and the restlessness just gets worse and worse and I want to die. I've tried lots of times to search on the internet for this kind of feeling, but I've never found anything. However reading this sub today, I'm struck by how people seem to have had similar sensations. I really didn't think I was Bipolar, because I don't think I have contrasting periods of 'highs' and 'lows'. I might be in a relative 'low', but there will always be the potential for a relative 'high' to emerge quickly out of this low. And vice versa. It's as if everything is there at once, as if I'm in a low and a high at the same time. Always fluctuating, but always wrong. It's awful. It has really impacted all aspects of my life. I've withdrawn from society and do not keep contact with anyone, and when I do meet people they are scared or unnerved by how bizarre my behaviour is. I know it's unwise to seek opinions on the internet, but at this point in time I have no friends who I can talk to about this, and I don't have the money to see a doctor or psychologist. If a redditor or two could give their thoughts on my state, it might help point me in the right direction. Thank you. 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In reflection, I’ve realized how much I’ve taken my good health for granted. I’d forgotten what it was like to feel completely out of control. I think I’ve also been in denial in the past that I ever did anything outside of my control during an episode and downplayed it, but this was the kick in the pants that reminded me what it’s really like. Anyway, in the aftermath there are some things that are still really getting me down (pretty sure I’m still depressed). This is the first episode I’ve had since my son was born. Before he was born I expressed to my wife that I was worried about passing bipolar on to him, and I was even more worried about having an episode while I was home alone with him. Well, I did end up having to be home alone with him a couple of times and it really terrifies me. At one point I was trying trying to get him into his car seat and he was giving me a really hard time. He wasn’t being intentionally difficult, really he was just playing, trying to turn off the dome light. I ended up screaming at him in my driveway while I tried to get him into the seat so I could buckle him in. He started bawling. That was early on in the episode and at that point I hadn’t realized yet that I was off in any way, but a couple minutes later I realized I had just done something that I would never, ever, ever normally do. The other times I was with him, I just felt so down that I could barely respond to his needs for food or a diaper change or whatever and definitely couldn’t play with him. It was really hard to look at him in the face. He had no idea what was going on and couldn’t understand why I couldn’t read to him or play with cars when that’s what we normally do every day. The one time I tried to read to him I started weeping before I got past the first page. Like I said, I was worried that something like this would happen, but I was not at all prepared to handle it, nor was I at all prepared for how it would make me feel. After screaming at him I’m worried I’m going to become violent. And when I have trouble feeding him, it’s just an overwhelming feeling that I can’t take care of the kid that depends on me just to survive. I feel completely unable to parent properly and like I am a complete failure as a dad. It has me wondering if my family would be better off without me (not necessarily in a suicidal kind of way, more like should I just leave?). In my mind I keep telling myself I’m being irrational, but it’s pretty hard to believe right now. My wife knows I’m feeling down still and last night she asked me if I was going to be ok with him in the morning (I get him ready for the day and take him to childcare for the day because she leaves early). I know it’s a necessary question, but the fact that it even needs to be asked really cuts deep. Anyway, idk what I’m really looking for with this post. Just needed to get it out. ",4.737500811424862,4.9252322405063325,5.741392405063291,82.7627442388835,69.15822784810125,8.76053229470951,29.02158390133073,8.617729084823388,2.001633511846803,2424,81,502,36,39,804,244,632,0.117,0.773,0.11,-0.7647,1,2,2,0,0,0,59.0,1,0,0,7,31,26,2,1,30,1,58,5,1,7,10,98,105,33,1,17,22,5,9,6,0,5,2,3,3,1,39,23,2,3,18,5,0,7,13,9,1,6,35,15,78,17,86,53,9,94,0,3,2,0,43,42,0,10,48,364,117,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723221527601875,0.0,0.049120262732043375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354002289473697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05054621629697263,0.0,0.1148451560650404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03744312838750529,0.06783730838244417,0.15680034234139156,0.06920312655782404,0.0,0.05432399687057792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06262523968375085,0.0,0.06497780209069437,0.0,0.19320376712507212,0.0,0.13778310947739764,0.09808315757812948,0.13592762532281172,0.0,0.11883901521572553,0.0,0.0529038757385604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06285745363962808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880578409255884,0.0,0.0,0.0811391394964747,0.16668291823011094,0.0517518551816141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05790450548038016,0.0,0.15528755756438595,0.0,0.05897608680264354,0.0,0.0,0.15674011227832635,0.07427340691165933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604559303966452,0.058922912576810996,0.10472498399231207,0.0515190252568073,0.049125896057158516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054316500857569526,0.0,0.16506987777071944,0.0,0.0,0.06529019120397571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322533650544595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933953074556765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05459593120038645,0.0,0.12792601704374298,0.06751337748565266,0.050068260860214674,0.0,0.13007700218822044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18005019421502347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316035532331906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04100058973594492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06202011398490921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045153259061326514,0.13663399601121207,0.09474700988538516,0.0,0.0,0.05764169051086499,0.12036376141361828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486623599074688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820340554453823,0.0,0.11727115177132978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612991454820035,0.0,0.058826628555754726,0.12497933932374634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880825412011611,0.0,0.1228800239349901,0.0,0.31479517137830937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052455239384975934,0.058427709634245616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05081006287846145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09457345288048337,0.0,0.0,0.08695158306794036,0.0,0.1471583956158355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06718721915928355,0.0,0.05789081808915347,0.0,0.0923654899780915,0.0,0.053686750140695065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04080697094767846,0.07871525619340715,0.0,0.0,0.14326589047832305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20851224911222788,0.0668110100688954,0.0,0.06394391512500193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975100557993506,0.0,0.0,0.055227004195920436,0.0569400978358745,0.05542505561093484,0.0,0.0,0.059209955989739216,0.06661104622819315,0.0,0.2495137361280045,0.0,0.1745336555206921,0.0,0.0,0.07910929853460796 bipolarreddit,RisibleLaughter,2019/03/25,"I hurt someone today It's said that those you push away the hardest, and still somehow fight to remain should be cherished, and I do cherish you. Even though sometimes my actions speak otherwise, deep within, it's undoubtebly clear that some people can weather the storm and when I can actually speak out, it's just to confirm my misguided reality that consumes me whole that no, I am not alone, and that to be alone is sometimes even my greatest desire, and that I suffer to espouse that truth, and revert to a sequence of events that could very well led to a reality and truth, different from my desires, to become intertwined— and it's scares me. And yet, through those moments I leave behind everything, and continue on my merry way as if actions don't continue to have consequences that are severe and just stubbornly maintain my path without a single thought of those outside my bubble, and thus greatly alienate those that only care and support. It's just not fair. It's my greatest burden and yet I unfurl as if it's just and nebulously accept that I can't escape; but, somehow I pester on incesstantly able to change my direction and yet I can't, and sometime the act of several conjoined inactions are my closest held resolve and action. I feel like a taker that returns little and some will have me believe it isn't my fault, but how can it not be, how convient that I can absolve myself thoroughly and just continue wistfully.",15.636268656716418,8.678335985074629,13.722014925373134,56.3496641791045,54.82089552238807,16.534328358208953,54.3955223880597,12.38480682065935,6.6098940298507465,1156,56,192,21,8,369,143,268,0.07,0.779,0.151,0.964,1,2,1,0,1,0,25.0,0,2,0,1,19,18,2,1,7,0,21,0,0,5,3,56,27,30,0,6,13,0,1,1,0,2,0,3,0,0,26,21,0,2,4,0,0,6,9,7,1,0,3,4,29,11,23,18,6,27,0,2,0,0,6,8,0,6,13,158,55,0,0.14455702284832148,0.0,0.14106680169872218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994349591076111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13581608149220284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596518744674897,0.0,0.16286626249497216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14738551901440305,0.0,0.15292216259632144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154170200323796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15103132148255993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19095710048312772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12991853104542975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309237420465939,0.1032715660066998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15937462802139574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475128275858827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15306501481001805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062325950642417,0.14488411338654264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10994212986507644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021763821640027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750683195389818,0.0,0.1447267980477007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266165785958859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248269635411285,0.0,0.42891177573147937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11544342517858835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640415964500514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14202654099238216,0.1147621289654241,0.0,0.0,0.13702315505118373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927468308601424,0.0,0.11474263616143596,0.0,0.0,0.1299741241411698,0.0,0.0,0.16139275358124894,0.0,0.1393478114963919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,bleukat,2019/03/25,"I don't know what to think about this As long as my mind is busy I'm ok or okish... hypomanic even. The moment I stop and am still and unoccupied by an activity I start to slid down into a depression (still some hypomanicness going on but no joy just heavy weights of meh) This has been going on for a few days at least.. I just don't know. Usually this time of year I'm primarily hypomanic not this quick yoyoing. &#x200B; And one else go through this and maybe understand it a bit? &#x200B; I plan on talking to my therapist about this but he is brand new to me.. (and I him) I've only seen him once so I don't ..well.. have that sense of faith that I can have faith in him yet. ..and honestly unknowns are really had to deal with right now.",1.1445833333333333,3.3178718039215696,3.1785906862745112,89.30553308823532,82.59477124183006,6.962254901960787,21.327205882352946,8.07648339933343,0.9889480392156864,578,18,130,12,16,195,102,153,0.044,0.8370000000000001,0.119,0.9253,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,0,0,1,12,7,0,0,5,1,13,1,0,0,0,21,24,12,0,0,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,8,1,1,4,0,0,4,5,1,1,1,3,2,14,6,23,21,4,26,2,1,1,0,6,8,0,2,14,90,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32771623646189785,0.367523074462677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16510447181132473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09753112262402493,0.15591194282381454,0.13025455611300632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263336269027198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988627913324412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257843231964152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16622458928229022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13383418018961268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193130343075972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15269963314416007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14605930103825102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16105548265230155,0.1024776598148926,0.11501756409604368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968820921481962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291499691942504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704168359807546,0.0,0.2415456489926148,0.12643541923957333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12155329892318024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17559019657618852,0.0,0.0969023593418944,0.0,0.0,0.08818368555173242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574362211550424,0.0,0.0,0.1665589636533604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841579338362736,0.13597432733548345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.367523074462677,0.0973874448817184 bipolarreddit,SlappyKraken,2019/03/25,"I miss my life before diagnosis Rationally I know that the BP 2 diagnosis is not what made everything fall apart. I know that the stuff going on with my body physically isn't caused by it. (Except for weight gain caused by the medication) I know that my friends didn't leave just because I ""suddenly went crazy"", I know I must have had symptoms before the big crisis, and I know that had things not gone the way they had I wouldn't have met my wonderful fiance. But I miss my friends. I miss everything about the life I had made for myself. I miss being blissfully ignorant of just how bad my mental issues are. I miss just having 2 pills to take at night instead of 8 at night and 2 during the day. I miss being able to drink if I want to. I miss living without parental restrictions. I miss freedom, fun, friends, and everything that I used to have. And I love my fiance, and I wouldn't trade him for any of that back because I know there's no guarantee I would have stayed happy. I'm just so sad and hurt and angry that this happened, and that I hurt my friends bad enough that they don't want to talk to me but I can't even remember all the details because I was so completely disconnected from reality during that time.",4.393437801350046,5.416213647540985,5.192892960462874,83.39627290260368,70.31147540983606,8.691996142719383,27.467695274831254,9.007467420416297,1.9863281581485048,966,32,199,18,17,314,123,244,0.129,0.754,0.118,0.1065,1,2,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,2,1,12,21,0,0,8,0,22,9,1,6,2,43,50,14,0,7,11,1,1,0,4,4,5,0,0,0,15,9,2,2,8,1,1,4,10,14,0,0,11,1,39,7,22,33,2,17,0,11,0,1,11,5,0,2,6,133,54,1,0.10800711726905736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344854346482578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305080629843124,0.1803628629187213,0.1975204086041968,0.0,0.18381220339178386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11997155882426927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2219061227300997,0.0,0.0,0.1132434075352078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965565543266651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580585618468484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11160022426128076,0.0,0.07133768231682917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29120949798691154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337841235153408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061382933768999524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551033710204496,0.11497558471709635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312477057857169,0.0,0.0,0.11273136929887087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35614732212561195,0.0,0.0,0.11436394219132595,0.0,0.0,0.15257724215413832,0.0,0.0,0.09537226333069614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974806402147233,0.20439789172564934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880580772353736,0.10884577066211533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027147259084616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992912194671546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235100913665035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11512121620458653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364230879666273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11226075002913877,0.0812079105347382,0.08681202962398081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175512946878226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297981864981632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328347115348057,0.0,0.0,0.12741079226641086,0.08573102237068446,0.0,0.13152357154690875,0.0,0.1001236797854202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10411500680440347,0.11712911140313295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07672515723235511,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,trollwizard7,2019/03/25,Abilify I’ve been on abilify since the beginning of March and it seems to be working pretty well so far. My only issue is with the side effects. I have blurry vision and I’m extremely tired even though I take the medicine at night. Does anybody know if the symptoms will clear up eventually?,2.251071428571432,5.070163392857146,3.544285714285717,83.90071428571429,84.71428571428572,6.771428571428572,25.857142857142854,7.957251820313856,2.05385,234,10,42,5,7,76,48,56,0.076,0.76,0.16399999999999998,0.6494,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,4,0,5,2,0,1,1,8,10,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,1,6,7,0,8,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,2,3,26,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25399059452340217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917004918221254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3029346936503578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595080715532451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723701653471849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207402637952112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952779751504195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642231944530021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24008916298002814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016700331996869,0.21822402808401786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28515889371121395,0.0,0.0,0.3335876778323856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609602204785648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21129785614820296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,kam297,2019/03/26,"Problems being around friends and being with friends when depressed. Whenever I'm depressed I can't be alone, when I'm alone I can get really overboard with how I think. When I'm alone in the moment I can feel like I'll be thinking completely rationally but if I'm in the same mood around people I care about my mindset will can add will be completely different.",2.5108802816901417,5.212970000000002,3.4937852112676078,85.8212411971831,81.39436619718309,6.930281690140845,27.184859154929576,8.07648339933343,2.0858014084507044,294,13,55,6,8,94,42,71,0.087,0.71,0.203,0.7278,1,3,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,7,8,0,0,2,0,11,0,0,1,0,14,20,7,0,2,2,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,6,4,7,13,1,8,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,1,5,34,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5727050729025986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3281707799891071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18792825585782996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.386515587690948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31751201738703044,0.0,0.0,0.1925769438946509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931985889295348,0.13167945812538934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848129738199757,0.0,0.09630047978662158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09005027136173542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277854573647674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17637097212506062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180811997852962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362118034283148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,RaeKenz,2019/03/26,"Destroyed Self Image Anyone with advice on improving your self image? I have struggled with hating myself (appearance, personality..etc) for years and I haven't improved. I've tried to improve myself by being healthier, and accepting my husband's compliments and try hard to believe them, but I just seem to end up hating everything about myself all over again. I can't seem to stop my own brain from insulting and absolutely tearing myself down at every opportunity. ",8.824444444444445,10.029897617283947,8.937876543209876,59.83644444444445,60.48148148148147,11.418271604938273,37.18765432098765,11.20814326018867,4.845368395061729,381,17,52,10,5,125,60,81,0.196,0.654,0.15,-0.6304,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,1,1,3,8,4,1,0,0,4,1,1,0,1,14,9,5,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,6,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,0,1,12,3,15,8,2,10,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,3,4,40,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19977878010101274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14295090317868647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303366133231455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282253692011069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18107531454455575,0.0,0.2280073555118223,0.0,0.0,0.1722515679369282,0.0,0.18373967690113865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18314026402455172,0.4036891548966578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722334266713352,0.42655609121095817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709230289140961,0.0,0.2137276209329645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776059850808727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165422440563948 bipolarreddit,Quitemoose,2019/03/26,"Tambel ramble For over a week I've wanted to post or talk to someone, but every time I've tried I haven't been able to put forth the energy. It's almost been a year since we lost our son (late miscarriag) and I've been a complete mess this month. I started skipping sleep, over eating, and probably on purpose induced a hypomanic episode. Now I've spent nearly 4k in credit that we can't pay back. I had started mildly hallucinating, picking fights with everyone bit especially my SO and am worried I damaged that...over all just being a complete idiot. Today, I'm coming down, I guess, and the depression is hitting hard. The worse part is, I never did feel any better, just able to hide it more easily. I miss my son, I feel alone, I'd kill myself but I don't really see the point of that either. Don't worry about commenting back. Just wanted to say this stuff. ",3.876747638326588,5.331734245614037,5.273333333333333,80.68384615384619,72.04093567251464,7.834637876743139,25.434547908232126,8.384062270229773,1.6950248313090412,680,21,129,11,13,228,115,171,0.244,0.662,0.094,-0.9841,0,2,0,0,1,1,26.0,3,0,0,2,8,10,3,0,9,0,13,2,1,2,2,25,27,8,1,2,7,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,7,8,1,0,3,0,3,2,5,8,0,0,7,5,15,2,15,18,5,22,0,4,1,0,9,7,0,3,12,78,22,2,0.28313065863711745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14175722824308398,0.14661898730453252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626927841861174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21770999987937847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520302959780327,0.15455267451702812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194599615702605,0.2968571087948149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193001070436553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485667371609412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192748956134738,0.1352717388127922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14315936813135716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15595017046074233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12681472880497016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15662106224247546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596918576230556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545352798510161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299609525005055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918390919619607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15330145621136526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338249941642596,0.0,0.13558045321577206,0.0,0.15263136856909273,0.0,0.0,0.14231225657147634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069037494889856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11257843189038184,0.0,0.0,0.11280923894191767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710430330805993,0.0,0.14166756610635314,0.0,0.1199478441347573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20040133744885424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620584328614518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378484930689027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08254788196387314,0.0,0.1341873793945113,0.0,0.0,0.09611356601502974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669977981265895,0.0,0.11355516809031832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875329273352184,0.14426716484004815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116343067951256 bipolarreddit,safeharbor_,2019/03/26,"Missing work, feeling guilty Last night I left work because I was legitimately sick. Today I feel better but told my boss I am still sick so I can’t come in...it’s really because I am so incredibly depressed, working a full shift feels so unmanageable. Even getting out of bed feels unmanageable. I feel so guilty about missing work, it’s really unlike me, but all I feel capable of doing is staring at the ceiling and going to sleep. I want my job to see me as a valuable and good employee, I tell myself that there is nothing wrong with taking the space and time I need to feel like myself again, I just hope my boss and coworkers can understand that sentiment as well. So yeah, today I feel pretty defeated. I hope you’re all doing better than I am.",3.7272448979591815,5.543305755102043,5.241921768707481,79.29920918367347,73.08163265306122,8.16530612244898,27.215986394557824,8.841846274778883,2.2246965986394565,594,22,111,12,12,200,90,147,0.152,0.593,0.255,0.951,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,7,12,13,0,0,4,1,10,3,1,2,2,27,31,13,0,4,3,0,8,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,7,0,0,9,0,0,2,1,5,1,0,2,10,22,8,12,29,3,14,0,4,2,0,2,5,0,2,8,71,25,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613210498272041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340510684704374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11398123027825108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396628889749055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739554979342475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5352362986795443,0.0945288262792924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691312939311592,0.0,0.07520002150966344,0.11098302410110313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628455413746746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130633791821722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078577666027426,0.0,0.0,0.14376514223744444,0.0,0.0,0.06464445236288033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811297216095732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241725575223374,0.0,0.12696379185744544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13461614383391834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16953406978217975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544123010644768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241470801989294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056702430859362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948753251105276,0.0,0.11565276817785634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07715635969704618,0.0,0.2508461626162149,0.12643661700796194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377489002958045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07804526218194735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11897080558405344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3853196647065219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14467021730987578,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,OpalMagnus,2019/03/26,"Is having a therapist I talk to in my head a coping skill or a symptom of my illness? So my boyfriend and I are just double checking because we know hearing voices can be a sign of extreme mania. Is it healthy to have a therapist I talk to in my head (or sometimes out loud, I’ve always talked to myself out loud)? She doesn’t tell me to hurt myself or anyone else, she mostly just helps me gain an impartial perspective on things. Sometimes I even pretend my boyfriend and I are doing couples therapy with her. Is this mania or just a coping skill? Thank you. :) ",4.220202702702704,5.427268531531531,5.129358108108106,83.00052364864867,70.8918918918919,7.351801801801803,30.091216216216218,7.6454224807358475,1.9746297297297293,441,18,83,5,8,144,69,111,0.066,0.804,0.13,0.8042,0,0,0,0,0,2,13.0,1,1,0,3,5,2,0,0,7,0,11,4,2,0,0,16,14,7,0,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,19,1,13,13,2,5,0,1,0,0,11,5,0,5,0,66,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14731758178414195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12379562671510895,0.18140593701635746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792642391550077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19589953008991293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14790034633620208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693810777250245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3634033274449675,0.0,0.19954523575829172,0.0,0.11867110962040656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18953285460841726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730059576051954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35020872107565154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18401999138725145,0.0,0.4269118709674096,0.15474719137687612,0.16300141682003133,0.2024690795251631,0.411131248639882,0.11762239521301128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,drbrydges,2019/03/26,"Lamictal - Issues since raising dosage Hi all, first post here, &#x200B; So, I've been on Lamictal for about 8 months and haven't had any issues. I've had it slowly raised from 50mg to 300 mg last week. Since I've raised from 250 mg to 300mg I'm seeing a massive increase in being disoriented, vision being fuzzy, unable to think straight (like type at work or write), and last night I experienced a large amount of paranoia I haven't felt since before I went on the medication. Does this sound like 300 mg might be too much for me and I should go back down to 250 mg? &#x200B; Thanks, all!",4.665254237288135,5.563194974576278,4.762500000000003,87.18917372881359,69.59322033898304,7.594915254237289,24.91949152542373,7.6454224807358475,1.0143355932203382,469,12,98,5,8,146,79,118,0.04,0.8540000000000001,0.106,0.75,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,5,3,0,0,3,0,10,1,0,0,2,11,17,5,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,5,4,5,3,15,7,5,17,0,0,1,0,2,6,0,2,9,47,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3259844031193786,0.3655808798330446,0.10229841166697068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567234925576768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128005917918513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164340467926267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14443759523134905,0.0,0.0,0.12795674835425172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549354870508327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140222931674592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452431006575745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469862248879583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15154366288543372,0.0,0.15958378872561438,0.0,0.0,0.12007279226074613,0.0,0.1105842810069892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14116954199283738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14407155891157156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11987423355285985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3733148650711927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13849688820179726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639027382947403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066687860381445,0.0,0.0,0.1394512801633154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951574501006026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3655808798330446,0.0 bipolarreddit,ElonMusks_SugarBaby,2019/03/26,"It’s the small things I’ve been suicidal for 3 weeks straight, and I’m trying desperately to hold on. I told myself two weeks ago that I would give myself a week to live and make everyone around me happy just a few more times. I tried extremely hard to hang out with all my friends (after isolating myself for months), to talk to my parents (after we got into a terrible argument), and to experience the things i love about the world. Obviously i didn’t kill myself, i didn’t even attempt. I’ve been at points in my life where I’ve just given up, but this doesn’t feel like that. This feels like I’ve been desperately grasping at anything that can give me a reason to live just one more day, over and over. I’ve found that the small things are the most effective, because it’s hard to see myself with any “big” future. I can’t tell if this is good or bad. I know it’s good that I’ve been trying to escape these suicidal thoughts and use every coping mechanism I know, but the fact that nothing seems to work for more than an hour or two seems disheartening. So, please tell me some things that make you want to live another day, no matter how small. I think the more of these that I have the easier it will be to keep going even when the “big” things in my life continue to fail. These are my reasons right now: -Feel the sunshine on my skin -Ride my bike -Eat my favorite food again -See my cat -Going swimming once the weather warms up -Reading my favorite books again -Going to the zoo -Planting a garden ",6.612828073089702,5.891907166112957,6.487074335548173,82.06057828073092,65.37873754152824,9.784136212624588,29.775955149501662,9.017664075816787,2.0910480066445185,1191,33,248,17,16,376,164,301,0.116,0.722,0.162,0.9252,1,0,0,0,0,1,34.0,1,1,0,4,14,14,1,0,18,0,16,6,1,7,3,47,43,13,3,3,8,1,7,2,1,2,2,0,1,0,23,11,2,2,14,5,0,6,5,5,0,3,11,10,31,9,37,29,8,46,0,2,3,1,11,23,0,7,19,159,54,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583042265410633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584501242651923,0.10153052210536026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796795625584481,0.0861956841719798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808456804582732,0.05902424175941574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488954256084644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990771888766589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279053431707651,0.0,0.08158009608933163,0.09252140941946832,0.0,0.0947144248888289,0.0,0.0,0.14687443172565826,0.1383450529616347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170824050939117,0.1061647308416312,0.07480754118414762,0.0,0.0,0.1857686783598549,0.16508537185893538,0.1624261397443475,0.07744061167958526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307309644702542,0.17347418680588336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953541234414541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606341352950027,0.10712364275513962,0.0,0.1064260943548088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13678215975044458,0.09460860287628124,0.0,0.2564974430226374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873892614270473,0.0,0.12926423752885946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728560365369175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290717551507367,0.0,0.0,0.10311654892408438,0.06561181555514739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751383420781832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628589126422798,0.09153188377924902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685222032037698,0.0,0.0,0.1991065453488594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268889017403841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543156001992159,0.1762935401936536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118238960035049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778250854232366,0.16926041471679815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32163451912433866,0.062042202558913434,0.0,0.07686904258177678,0.05646002964787206,0.0,0.0,0.09252140941946832,0.0,0.1972155308289877,0.0,0.18916990008841236,0.0,0.0,0.08362659118259133,0.0,0.0,0.05711049398870732,0.0,0.23300397313117135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049049416878858,0.0,0.0,0.06878242498859671,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,devileone1,2019/03/26,A question about abilify ? Hey guys I've been taking abilify for a while now these past few days I've been experiencing really fast heart beat as Soon as I woke and I can feel my heart racing called my doctor he told me it's my anxiety and I should take Xanax and to call him back of it doesn't stop he also told me the med doesn't effect heart rate and it's safe although on the list of side effects on the net I can see fast heart beat and anxiety as side effects . I wanted to Know if anyone had these issues with abilify ? How was your experience with it? Any help is appreciated as idk what to do at this point ,2.1782875264270603,3.8282464341085287,3.9851867512332646,87.37832980972517,76.90697674418605,7.4816067653276965,21.029598308668078,8.296473431620573,0.9046372093023248,486,12,108,9,11,164,83,129,0.038,0.871,0.091,0.8190000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,5,6,1,0,0,5,0,11,6,4,4,0,19,20,14,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,8,7,0,2,6,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,3,12,1,16,12,1,15,0,0,1,0,12,6,0,2,9,66,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429166123307564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718930096296202,0.0,0.21866411782882156,0.0,0.0,0.09993175322245984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098953012243242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2918709951676885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217043851740683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14628286991991196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980145810325378,0.0,0.0,0.07226375404251516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14151152264203035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6774351884043331,0.09579508061712963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491695064586502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854412455389137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1587499409454119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13643162724695648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510392773113736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16010113204882168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155708124273564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388732994605152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194860442688374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2149134532889321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27312899714677713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429687813645884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,jumpingjellyf1sh,2019/03/26,How much do I have to disclose to a potential employer? The store I work at is closing down in a week. I had an interview today that went really well but I have to fill out a medical form through a 3rd party company. As part of the form I have to consent to this company contacting my GP (who obviously knows I have bipolar). I got to the question about if I'm being treated for any illnesses and have no idea what to say. I'm in Queensland if that helps. ,2.2828723404255307,3.949501489361701,4.683989361702128,82.40875,76.65957446808511,8.955319148936171,29.835106382978722,9.516144504307137,2.9194936170212764,356,17,74,10,8,125,65,94,0.076,0.8059999999999999,0.118,0.4398,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,8,0,9,3,0,1,1,11,14,6,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,3,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,3,1,8,2,17,10,4,10,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,3,2,58,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197189289115898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23191519908723585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943605279648081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3273404124530073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15935972305135473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2921138917745905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21316103939276965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31400884755054764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3248323437102279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18576196746863946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23059548506967045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748573001250772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23259614322441166,0.0,0.2607175176649454,0.2688047483202961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211101341200044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,TheKingOfThings58,2019/03/26,Having extreme manic bounces up and down... I’ve recently and utterly destroyed the love of my life and she walked out. Packed up and said her goodbyes a few days ago and I am just skyrocketing and plummeting. You know how bad manic episodes can get. Idk where I’m going with this. I can’t keep a train of thought. I don’t really have friends to talk to anymore. I don’t want to feel so lost anymore. I hate the darkness in me. I want to reflect and grow but how do I do that when I literally can’t keep my mind in one place long enough to work through my issues?,1.6412587412587456,3.5800012222222213,2.9804040404040437,92.63909090909094,79.51282051282051,6.305827505827506,25.166278166278172,7.348242739294969,1.0133145299145303,441,17,99,6,11,143,79,117,0.106,0.828,0.066,-0.5351,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,2,6,6,2,0,4,0,10,2,0,2,0,22,24,12,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,9,0,2,4,0,0,3,4,4,0,1,3,2,15,2,15,21,2,16,0,1,0,1,7,8,0,0,5,63,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17650568306902822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3949421857564834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16625482679928527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12841433920648446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20574164387357094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067980985245054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15383771566212515,0.0,0.1040306951529852,0.0,0.11316308531646993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19658734500607847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20782697695451854,0.0,0.35396963273720833,0.0,0.0,0.10942979132333136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14064260545298685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17621275496379027,0.0,0.0,0.2173603138094269,0.0,0.17971135180400874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20105195100512105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349271967194062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20803544684500264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275597933196325,0.0,0.1966045467184972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894063757700297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600431343311888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807708325562592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348893653363397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14495993889341666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,tickedofftaco,2019/03/27,"Bipolar depression and MAOI’s 22 m. I had early onset bp at 15, diagnosed at 19, and I have had no luck with meds thus far and am now onto MAOI’s. My oral selegiline trial is just about up after two months. The only time a medication ever affected my mood was when a low dose of lithium brought me out of a ten month depressive episode. Unfortunately, my stability was short lived and I was launched back into a brutal episode in a week’s time. This current depressive episode has lasted well over a year now. The limited number of studies out there on bp depression, treatment resistant depression, and atypical depression treated with MAOI’s seem to have incredible results. Especially the ones using tranylcypromine. I believe that will be the next drug I go on. But I’m just looking for some personal experiences, tips, or insight. Right now I’m on oral selegiline, therapeutic dose of lithium, a dopamine agonist , and a low dose of quetiapine for sleep because of the stimulatory effect of the maoi. ",6.4045271122320315,8.058676699453553,7.180874316939889,68.65184110970998,66.15846994535522,10.876670870113491,37.57419083648592,10.891193690592663,4.6874047078604475,808,43,133,24,13,268,118,183,0.19,0.768,0.041,-0.9808,1,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,11,13,1,0,14,0,12,8,1,6,1,27,19,9,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,1,2,11,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,9,1,3,6,1,9,3,26,11,1,36,0,8,1,0,1,17,0,4,17,86,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079109671019612,0.0,0.08554851046343194,0.0,0.0,0.1581124401563034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7252355177704553,0.1424397300133866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16274708472257793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12694341158952924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13727712084242666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975710341410003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143938907496638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12392068938784925,0.0,0.11784825569934584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15588345874615872,0.1413753876821632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2240322984508577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14925065075296431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509640314267807,0.1067330837133017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253739653508855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198475605175368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277580983536003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14043896995073785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16366398934133372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13708946269096564,0.0,0.0,0.12120664488949258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11257037356888724,0.0,0.1261803740708612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037282600164673 bipolarreddit,thebowski,2019/03/27,"Pot induced my mania, is this the new normal? Is bipolar mania precipitated by marijuana use typically one off, or a ""new normal"" in the cycle? Am I likely to experience full-blown mania without medication? Some background: After a period of minor depression I reverted to old habits and smoked some marijuana which caused my first manic episode. I spent some time in a psych ward and was given lithium and zyprexa, which didn't fully suppress my manic state. After a couple months in hypomania, I gave my zyprexa to someone else I'd med who couldn't afford them. I thought I'd be fine, with just a week until my next refill. I was wrong, and went manic, totalled my car, and ended up back in the psych ward. Now I'm dealing with the fallout from this event. I'm 26, and generally high functioning. I was an alcoholic for a few years and have been sober for about 4 years (it runs in my family). I'd smoked pot before, but not often because it would make me feel very anxious and make my thoughts race. Is this extreme episode of mania my new normal or is it likely a one-off ? I'd never experienced them before. In fact, I don't think I'd ever really experienced general hypomania before, only excitement related to specific projects or areas of interest. I'm unable to find much online about this, here's one: >Clinicians agree that cannabis use can cause acute adverse mental effects that mimic psychiatric disorders, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. >[...] >Cannabis abuse prior to development of bipolar disorder has a significant effect on first-episode mania and on the course of the disease. Another study reported that using cannabis at baseline can significantly increase the risk for manic symptoms during follow up. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2811144/",8.385213505461769,9.205063698113207,8.451833829857666,64.2772939424032,61.38993710691824,11.097252565375703,37.49155908639524,10.882677951670544,4.513588679245283,1448,66,217,35,19,472,190,318,0.086,0.856,0.058,-0.875,1,0,3,0,1,0,63.0,0,0,2,3,9,9,0,1,16,0,18,6,0,10,4,50,35,16,0,5,7,0,1,2,0,1,6,0,0,0,13,12,1,1,8,0,1,5,6,4,0,3,11,3,20,5,37,21,7,42,0,1,0,0,5,14,0,7,24,136,33,4,0.0,0.12411081485011638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11194516622348702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098387947377842,0.0,0.11833691530572732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054576089166758,0.0,0.06385421290789896,0.0,0.2674018671805149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21521281127108413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590312964239775,0.0,0.0,0.10799194885825844,0.09022043537874748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3601553855437887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750461528770671,0.0,0.09277680581539732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475175648274717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246493427144623,0.09874833595647496,0.0,0.05296440329474602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09573898031217792,0.17819943527952406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106734071689373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10235045281233483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13984196829141474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635287990024913,0.10552391919029858,0.1055626767344898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360990744334429,0.0,0.07700280243008724,0.0,0.08078913277485468,0.3035026364687154,0.11140208962371134,0.0,0.30789627811649883,0.0,0.0,0.10991679006369867,0.0,0.2129425494431112,0.07966657765080576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671050963194784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875375847229783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088746507393881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711913433161344,0.0,0.16631851811158996,0.06108017056138456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271409339567662,0.0,0.08642915880844343,0.0,0.0,0.08402358570652177,0.0,0.0,0.09710366859788908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009746059919978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07441091115486988,0.11452693702937974,0.0,0.13491025480950625 bipolarreddit,JosShavaughn,2019/03/27,"Decade of Stability Here I'm just over 2 months away from my 10th anniversary of leaving a psychiatric hospital and never looking back and needing that much help. I've gone on to FINALLY finish my Bachelors degree, I am not super successful, but I would like to know if I were to kind of tell about these last years what sort of information would you find beneficial in a story like that, basically overcoming mental illness that so many people assume upon diagnosis your life is shot to shxt which isn't true. ",8.595684210526315,8.265742463157897,8.836842105263159,65.54789473684211,61.21052631578947,12.65263157894737,35.84210526315789,11.979248473330829,4.520957894736842,414,16,70,12,5,137,77,95,0.106,0.773,0.121,0.3701,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,2,5,6,0,0,2,0,6,2,0,0,2,16,11,5,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,1,7,6,15,7,1,13,0,0,1,0,5,5,0,3,9,47,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22567137444693064,0.18469534570311208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631221910847246,0.21953413649917355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16099783461280606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501264242483837,0.13200504549159328,0.19579121349519624,0.0,0.25433212247328485,0.0,0.0,0.16965703129253254,0.2346945643789904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017035423872487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435203160912852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24206035000458245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917215827189632,0.0,0.17657116969894646,0.1781017583069978,0.18525340926352854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665211653262039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20994126374804176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34125567398430257,0.0,0.0,0.154677886676432 bipolarreddit,sjoy9280,2019/03/27,Just learned I am a F-up I haven't cut in 2 years and today really set me off the rails. I know to many it will seem insignificant the reason is because I have to drop out of school. I just am not smart enough to do this. I am trying to be strong but I need the release. I will try to keep myself safe. Sorry just needed a place to vent.,0.12954285714285876,1.6644039733333358,2.4339047619047642,96.696,82.6,5.352380952380952,16.047619047619047,6.18269132825596,-0.7098380952380956,258,4,65,2,7,88,54,75,0.092,0.8,0.108,0.4728,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,1,0,5,0,10,0,0,1,0,15,15,2,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,10,3,10,12,1,8,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,2,44,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15964321401962295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27059814141154553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327762210203669,0.0,0.0,0.14392564183721168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26551119817667096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38837015329543695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736150261274814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16777081363432933,0.26926232243182624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650425124146111,0.0,0.23841108778769535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931598243498091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482372118668699,0.0,0.0,0.3556066711759516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16864593345673842 bipolarreddit,AbortRetryImplode,2019/03/27,"""People first language"" and being bipolar I had a somewhat irritating encounter with someone recently who lectured me at length about how damaging it is to refer to myself as bipolar and that I should instead refer to myself as ""a person living with bipolar disorder."" I know that there was a big push for awhile in various health communities to use ""people first language"" (for those unfamiliar here's a [quick and dirty overview](https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/disabilityandhealth/pdf/disabilityposter_photos.pdf). That just got me to thinking how do you refer to yourself? I've always just said ""I'm bipolar"" but I'm curious to know what others prefer and why.",9.50614285714286,11.127638990909093,8.667662337662339,60.90863636363639,59.09090909090909,10.64935064935065,37.532467532467535,10.608840637214634,4.552792207792207,539,24,72,12,7,169,74,110,0.059,0.912,0.029,-0.2508,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,0,2,10,1,0,0,4,0,6,5,0,3,0,21,14,9,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,1,8,6,0,0,7,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,4,1,8,0,16,8,2,8,0,1,0,0,4,3,0,1,4,59,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20860320059190252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873249078048154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4264920506624014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005083814745616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26648329323585346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755572749610282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213734543903422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3476088233577848,0.21890232290485886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24753685666193215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23847392988816776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124180270014315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16063898965152468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165250516826243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262185341261928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,foofighterfoos,2019/03/27,"Making and maintaining friendships? Following my diagnosis of bipolar 1 I am finding it very difficult to make friends. Due to mainly having the depressive side of the illness I tend to isolate myself and avoid social situations. Currently I'm 25 and realizing that making friends as an adult is significantly more difficult than it was when I was younger. So any tips you guys have would be greatly appreciated, thanks for reading",7.268288288288289,9.928163216216221,7.7172972972973,61.70045045045046,65.48648648648647,10.87927927927928,40.711711711711715,10.864195022040775,5.534700900900901,354,21,50,11,6,116,60,74,0.168,0.6559999999999999,0.17600000000000002,0.399,1,1,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,2,8,0,1,3,0,8,2,0,3,0,10,15,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,2,3,3,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,0,6,4,8,11,2,5,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,3,35,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17017093640376804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21553027547438172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287136912351995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3866676871714821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758891139713205,0.0,0.2477757127720719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5011089420406676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25030647603104816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812788484380423,0.0,0.25508690033788617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23038622760862784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064731823649676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777624338896368,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,rufflayer,2019/03/27,"I made a (manic) decision two weeks ago to adopt a puppy and now I have to rehome him and it's tearing me apart. Newly diagnosed, but I'm about 99% sure I was manic when I decided to adopt a puppy. I now have to rehome him because he is stressing my other animals out too much. I have two rats and two rabbits, and the rabbits sometimes won't eat because they're so stressed out with the dog being in the room. It's been two weeks and it's not getting any better. It sucks because I really love him. He's a great dog, eager to learn, about 4 months old. But my pets that I had before him come first, and rabbits can die of stress. I'm of course devastated and I feel myself falling into a depression. I'm trying to think about how he will make another family very happy, but holy crap does this suck. He's being sweet and kissing my tears away right now, which makes me cry even more. Has anyone else ever had to do something like this? What got you through it?",2.2582263814616748,3.960733075757581,3.791746880570411,88.6223262032086,76.82828282828281,6.477005347593582,22.758169934640517,7.285733465282438,0.8001660130718955,751,22,157,9,17,249,123,198,0.207,0.628,0.165,-0.8783,0,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,2,12,16,3,3,8,0,15,5,1,4,2,28,29,14,1,0,4,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,2,0,11,13,1,0,5,0,0,2,2,7,0,5,6,2,20,9,19,19,2,21,0,1,0,2,10,8,3,0,12,101,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069795489600158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492219879997027,0.13094682292175513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08731850244320008,0.12795358911205024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173282027719168,0.0,0.0,0.22837576642442065,0.0,0.10626307712809227,0.0,0.0,0.11044558289540088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757244988869956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717403506532788,0.0,0.0,0.10755834861141728,0.1267498496267398,0.12960498606461354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928270733343963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277826887756366,0.1043206217827695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248159260694009,0.11296046635700595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11772507967863165,0.0,0.06314272071129831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622225941212717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06524427428969044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09987737533779198,0.1376798569635264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293632524059534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100971269929576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127084339177882,0.11816380268815704,0.16671579019599678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967745704625533,0.0,0.09180064619575544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103980682744734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000087023780215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664623046043233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613817770717906,0.12350880995678205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4291464108119727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11769725197836227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800176059739654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478483992588468,0.0,0.4879556786539101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030384918259875,0.0,0.0,0.20034126603499508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,gatorgurl101,2019/03/27,"Mania a memoir a short shitty one I wrote something I have no where to share. Was my lowest drinking cheap wine on a toilet seat at mid day in a sprawling Westfield shopping outlet, having my stomach and veins flushed for the third time in one year? Or forgetting I had sex with my best friend after my court date for a shattered window. In a million little pieces. You might assume it was. It wasn't. Truth is this is medication, because without this. I'm fine in the sense THAT I FEEL. I feel everything, I feel everything. Life is like day time television and it hurts me with its monotony. My brain is too fast, the world is too slow. I am too arrogant the world is too humble. Atleast I'm self aware, my addictions are my angels and my devil's. They save me every time and yet darling they push me closer and closer to the edge. The edge is always there. Hi my name is Sophie and I have manic depression. I swear you might disregard what I say, but I know it has value. I want to live. 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I'm in my first semester of my history degree. Love my classes and everything has been great so far, except for the fact my bipolar brain is doing its best to make everything as hard as possible to me. I really don't wanna ruin this (too much), as studying what I love is really what keeps me motivated every single day. I've been keeping track of my mistakes, figuring out what I can do in the future so I won't let them get the best of me again, but as you all know, it's never that easy. Not being familiar with my reactions to this new environment is definitely the worst part of it. What I wanna know is, what were your experiences like? I need to know there are people out there who made it. Maybe there's something I can learn from it. I don't know. I wish there were other students to talk to in real life, who are in the same situation, but I'm not close to any, so... Yeah. 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Ive recently decided that I need to actively take steps to be less underweight (Im anxious often and it ruins my appetite), so! I'm trying new things when I have free time! So far this week Ive cooked ramen stir fry, a steak/potato/asparagus dinner, and tonight I tried a new recipe for chicken alfredo. Everything has been way better than frozen or canned ""fast"" food I normally eat and although none of my meals turn out exactly as I would like I understand that no skill comes instantly. What hobbies have y'all picked up to cope?",3.2432075471698134,5.592990679245286,4.240226415094341,83.54203773584909,76.16981132075472,8.390943396226419,26.63773584905661,9.120678840339163,2.4558105660377354,436,17,82,11,10,141,84,106,0.067,0.818,0.116,0.7218,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,2,4,4,0,0,2,0,9,6,0,1,1,14,15,9,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,5,6,0,2,2,1,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,11,4,10,12,2,14,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,2,9,48,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341463394816499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833058278766157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17853730739271548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21208011167365004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862731439162999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506212563039937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22387783242940965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012574301450364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536816704570716,0.0,0.4003486213837463,0.0,0.0,0.20307212468948835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20464558642791603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558347469167284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13769523642603118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12085576436494158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.422150570441178,0.2254408404655644,0.0,0.2157663827200613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164514418436281,0.16625255924980642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472325218161556,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,fly_thelma,2019/03/28,"Seperation anxiety from husband So, i dont know if this fits in the bipolar board or not but i dont know where else to post it. I have terrible separation anxiety from my husband. Like, terrible. Mostly because I'm so worried something bad is going to happen to him.. And i mean, i know theres nothing i can do really but it doesnt stop the worry. Anyway, i have it so bad that its a struggle for me to even be apart when he goes to work. I do a good job managing it and he doesnt really know (i dont think. Maybe he does) but his mom just invited him to visit (over 20 hours away) for 7 days. I was not invited (which im incredibly offended over but thats a whole 'nother post.) So now i'm stuck trying to piece together how im going to manage him being gone for SEVEN WHOLE DAYS. This trip isnt even until the end of october and I'm already having anxiety attacks over it. I cant tell him not to go, i cant be that person who says ""no you cant visit your mom"" but i will be a total mess for his entire away time and i know it. I literally cant handle it. I dont know what to do. How am i to handle this? Does anyone else have terrible seperation anxiety? How do you manage it? I am at my wits end over this and he hasnt even bought the plane ticket yet. Please help.",0.07897931034482752,2.011352396363637,3.1264576802507835,89.53727272727276,85.03636363636362,6.702194357366771,19.66457680250784,7.873277556716777,0.7866990595611285,979,28,223,20,29,350,132,275,0.187,0.746,0.067,-0.9875,1,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,3,0,1,17,11,2,1,8,0,30,1,0,3,1,30,48,21,0,1,11,4,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,19,5,0,1,8,1,1,7,16,9,0,1,4,1,30,2,27,39,5,31,0,0,0,0,24,11,0,3,12,153,49,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533435728866672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920840207727944,0.0,0.0,0.06674270240108747,0.09780250554356187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085911533188247,0.1793617870612098,0.0,0.1593979278236691,0.058187040881362014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231181071035669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16706248982878447,0.0,0.4474791134923301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594768581486593,0.0,0.16908540711665118,0.0,0.0,0.18913669731728588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16274379805545525,0.08006114226785895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440845068347952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06397988978422413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400161888584084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20621045303914365,0.0,0.09472201254099236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3147496343099952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04663333639870559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589500246132232,0.10397590338713958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235859470282662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158937851167036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334555988243242,0.0,0.10477833032250798,0.0,0.0,0.18283447928077665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222988055156564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590776725081007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07348410250470118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980267769309808,0.0,0.09978782002510717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342981101617894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06116219487206461,0.0,0.0,0.0556591995992828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480607409613033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21313891832996348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06949065576589818,0.19387357026217875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ta100909097778,2019/03/28,"Had a really bad day Hey. This is my first post on the sub but I’ve really appreciated the sense of community for a while. If anyone is up/willing to chat I’m sort of at all loss for what to do right now. I’ve been in a really deep depressive episode for a couple weeks now and I’m not doing great. I went to therapy this morning promising to be completely honest with my therapist, and I was. I told her I was feeling suicidal, had a plan, but probably wouldn’t act on it. I totally expected to be sectioned but she’s great and understood why I was saying I wouldn’t act on it. It was a good session but it left me feeling pretty shitty. Today was my day off so I didn’t really have anything to do all day so I came home from therapy and surprise surprise got drunk. I decided to drive out to this bridge in my town that’s known for people jumping off it and I kept telling myself I didn’t want to jump, I just wanted to take a look. I walked out over the bridge and stood there for a while and then I chickened out and went back to my car. I guess that was suspicion because about two minutes after I got in my car the police came rolling by, but didn’t see me. I sat there for a while and then drove home. I don’t really know what to do. I feel suicidal but I guess I’m not that bad since I decided not to jump. I can’t check myself into a hospital for multiple reasons, partly because again, if I’m not really truly suicidal there are other people who need it more. I’m kinda freaked out right now and I don’t know what to do. ",1.0244019230769226,2.9781141200000043,3.4023221153846173,88.75902163461541,81.64615384615384,7.1394230769230775,22.15625,8.17850203761792,1.2117403846153851,1199,39,264,25,32,414,153,325,0.175,0.732,0.093,-0.9871,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,3,12,12,0,0,14,0,28,1,0,1,3,55,58,25,3,8,13,0,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,17,18,1,1,10,2,1,14,12,5,0,2,24,6,36,7,43,30,6,53,0,2,2,0,8,21,0,6,17,184,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122170445880004,0.0,0.08382071704568038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832275941147508,0.1700948822626266,0.1241837708062884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329975614723568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10679650877132116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11270429179045255,0.0,0.19707056626870093,0.0,0.08773042027217574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15450787865320936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664063348678812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543392473036103,0.16293080411121558,0.22459831096999688,0.22441684236723394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043443964904721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195733579294713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066936083463047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08553533367447792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552665235572653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11030263266661136,0.0,0.14123146546126494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09755211266364533,0.10362652840781728,0.10982049483904817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3915182814934275,0.1047273156613244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397289451771833,0.0,0.08100182298247018,0.0,0.0,0.0811678920208968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425825344841542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342494037426332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658477891551832,0.0,0.08902865975578207,0.0,0.23296772796621734,0.11826535824158227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965497757401647,0.09732998815007364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09950077635804776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201573503482774,0.0,0.08170459891778313,0.0,0.0,0.18884736302369085,0.09191128919146258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,sweetally4,2019/03/28,"Vyvanse and Bipolar 2 I don’t have ADHD or Binge Eating Disorder, let me preface this with that. I recently did some genetic testing through my psychiatrist and the results came back that I would highly benefit from stimulants, if I had the need to take them.(Also said I should never take SSRIs and all atypical antipsychotics will make me gain weight- fun facts) I know it’s very uncommon, and I’ve read some horrible things about having bipolar and taking stimulants (mania, psychosis, etc) but my pdoc put me on 20mg to see if it could help with my cognitive and executive function. Does anyone have experience with taking Vyvanse without one of the regular prescribed diagnosis? Also, if you take Vyvanse just in general, how did you deal with the crash? First day taking it and I feel like hell, it’s been about 10-11 hours since I took it now. Thanks!!",6.290995397008055,7.779938145569623,6.516881472957423,73.92299769850406,66.27848101265822,10.049252013808976,34.61680092059839,10.230975488527342,3.834637974683545,689,32,116,17,11,221,112,158,0.085,0.805,0.11,0.4661,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,0,2,7,5,1,0,4,0,13,4,0,5,3,36,28,14,0,7,7,0,2,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,9,12,2,0,2,1,0,3,3,1,0,2,7,4,16,4,14,16,4,13,1,0,1,0,5,3,1,6,8,80,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16480541749263108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193280262459312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09588553511738898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054456609134391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15684190677960694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094883463721087,0.0,0.0,0.0884384746014807,0.14137655780550687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571645825502736,0.0,0.1200047020797239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031976212556832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15293787452761945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13414092306156938,0.0,0.0,0.0693378080792105,0.0979667728915502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166439860983105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191635561660956,0.1448869615890363,0.0,0.0,0.13504690707014053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07536388755645353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14022625240063774,0.0,0.06699552541382026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09153634286078154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10168127162616712,0.10576426873073848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09292385518513524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13785503613592742,0.0,0.0,0.1371686123796564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13540081519666802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13044346181590932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10927605313456527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11343659606786695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6186349425891114,0.0,0.0,0.1262522634393977,0.0,0.0,0.09110407698604192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15235814516372798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314785125695795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16698922678275974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13218987500311488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09741428498576823,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,-babs-,2019/03/28,"How do you deal with a downswing that has a clear cause? I've been swinging down pretty hard the past few weeks - And I know exactly why. My car died, and I was forced to buy a new one - Just after moving and furnishing a new apartment from scratch. My bank accounts are overdrawn, I don't have much food, I'm just barely scraping together money for gas and prescriptions. I'm dealing the the finality of the absolute end of a relationship. &#x200B; IT'S GOING TO GET BETTER. I can see, on the calendar, looking at my bills and my paychecks, when things will start to get easier financially. I'm not going to hurt myself, and I'm not suicidal. I feel like a med change isn't really the solution, because the meds I'm taking have kept me stable for years, and even if they change, my situation is still going to be shit. &#x200B; I'm taking my meds and seeing my therapist, but my therapist can only fit me in every other week (not that I could afford more copays right now anyway...) I'm working full time, and doing well at work, but that's literally ALL I'm doing. Being on time for work, being on the ball, and doing my job well is so exhausting that I literally cannot muster anything else. &#x200B; I'm sleeping 12-13 hours a night. I'm not showering. I'm not eating. &#x200B; Does any one have any practical, everyday advice? How do you keep motivated to push forward when it's going to get better but you just have to GET THERE?",4.247953895339052,5.647738607773852,5.635325593134785,78.66267373380448,71.04946996466431,8.64135958270234,27.610466094565034,9.107695989026183,2.322883358573111,1138,40,213,23,21,383,158,283,0.053,0.836,0.112,0.9452,3,0,0,0,0,2,56.0,0,3,1,6,16,8,1,0,15,0,25,6,2,4,3,35,54,19,2,2,12,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,8,11,2,2,3,1,5,8,8,3,2,2,3,6,23,5,23,46,5,38,0,1,3,0,7,12,1,1,21,135,31,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692960721038097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411960068978485,0.3826401975175418,0.10707202319732016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478434475300072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04799030898445896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925254151358654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08087273211878991,0.16656219358551352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06285587290719734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16232498241006782,0.0,0.0,0.08170459709295419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06889317952207859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055579819022357,0.06576501900164806,0.0,0.06972738954740593,0.0,0.0,0.05199742306345753,0.0,0.06632959444471533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03980595740736054,0.05624148350064217,0.0,0.08623989205125009,0.0,0.0,0.09519513727940572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16452321180926605,0.0,0.17896596987199284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07052254783361155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07752871888722962,0.0,0.08427723188980897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07812287032675128,0.06997480500254151,0.0,0.0,0.04326545331081449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03846128259577706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06610955788305199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26233871204544434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367270382414692,0.05787227048932904,0.0,0.0,0.15206707736720912,0.0,0.07387851007999796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066928166348044,0.059874258926518174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515235840106126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009209391838082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05043354479129873,0.0,0.0,0.08452168057646586,0.0,0.06723111167118154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546799609672638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081055214846379,0.0,0.08849071416465065,0.07878231339020184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05572228494014905,0.0,0.06287025309578417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611287427405595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838349503479854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828126508744688,0.05230169670204223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181089624555357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12629762881438128,0.0,0.1415672840270822,0.0,0.07103748161003492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17193921487798125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3826401975175418,0.050696614355099145 bipolarreddit,SOHELPMEPVBLO,2019/03/28,"Hey y'all, I made a new Album about my Mental Health Issues, Heartbreak, Loss and other deep topics.. I spent the last 5 months only working on this, neglecting my school to do this. I'd really appreciate if anybody would give it a listen. (also yes I am actually bipolar, I'm not bragging about it in the second song ) &#x200B; [https://soundcloud.com/tomniland/sets/aurora-the\_journey](https://soundcloud.com/tomniland/sets/aurora-the_journey) ",14.0940625,16.710370281250007,11.115625000000005,43.86687500000002,49.3125,9.525,31.625,9.516144504307137,3.090356250000001,374,10,44,5,4,111,54,64,0.141,0.7709999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.5318,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,0,2,3,3,0,0,4,1,3,2,0,1,0,6,8,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,1,2,2,6,0,5,5,0,6,0,3,0,0,4,3,0,1,3,28,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.2435742028361956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996055281257808,0.0,0.2704421708616229,0.3032920772327383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394396615458475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26531379051849474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605182022529229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20345782158903306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236178144680742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515387214054912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19922883604048397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410658371631121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18983252131278772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.159900550555848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252609156132325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18171222635582576,0.0,0.0,0.1773091212682201,0.0,0.3032920772327383,0.0 bipolarreddit,islandoflesbo,2019/03/28,"What are your talents? I write, produce and sing songs :) i also do fake nails and shit. I'm scared abilify is gonna take away my creativity :(",-0.29464285714285765,1.8051731071428565,1.7654285714285716,92.37957142857144,103.64285714285714,5.097142857142859,19.88571428571429,6.742157984588678,0.6102485714285724,109,4,23,2,5,36,25,28,0.312,0.474,0.214,-0.5994,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,1,4,1,1,0,0,3,1,1,1,0,4,6,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,1,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,12,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3928610362262872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4615556364693694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4918377017887629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5042720899211991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3693669382662956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,deadpres1dent,2019/03/28,"What are your psychotic episodes like? Is there a possibility that they’ve somehow taught you something (such as perspectives, life change, etc)? Share anything you’d like to, even if it has nothing to do with the topic. Take care everyone, and thank you for your time!",5.568749999999998,7.947925041666673,4.577500000000004,83.61750000000002,69.41666666666666,8.133333333333335,30.75,8.841846274778883,2.5189,214,9,39,4,4,63,43,48,0.0,0.747,0.253,0.9109,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,5,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,0,5,1,0,0,0,4,9,3,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,5,5,7,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,2,3,26,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435152603973493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3017080736456308,0.0,0.3130419555679099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33002673851224296,0.19545101622259603,0.0,0.0,0.28276228412504995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20901560061219093,0.28914112760530386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839412555978777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33360302804124514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22781209645405945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224934722274242,0.0,0.0,0.27244149208552143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17255213733958796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Shitstorm2019,2019/03/28,"There is no help for the functionally depressed / suicidal I am depressed, I’ve been depressed for years. Right now I am in the midst of an especially bad depressive episode and I honestly I won’t fight any feelings if I want to kill myself and have a pretty solid plan when it happens. But I keep going, I get good grades, I get dressed everyday and most people are unable to see just how terrible I feel. I feel like I’m constantly put on the back burner, i would have to wait months to get into a therapist, I only see my doctor once a month at most, I’ve literally been told by the suicide hotline that there were more important calls to take. I feel like I can’t complain because from the outside I am doing f*cking awesome. If I did let the appearance slip everything would crumble around me, I’ve adopted the view that I’m either going to kill myself or not. Because experience says that no amount of help is going to matter. I don’t have friends, I don’t have family...it’s just me and I am not a good enough reason to keep going. I wish I had killed myself 10 years ago when I first starting really getting these feelings because it would have saved me a lot of pain. ",5.062950354609928,5.604864429787239,6.035744680851064,79.69333333333334,68.53191489361703,8.990070921985819,30.98581560283688,9.029198982220553,2.53021134751773,931,36,181,16,15,309,134,235,0.212,0.631,0.157,-0.9647,0,0,0,0,1,3,22.0,0,0,0,2,10,19,4,0,13,0,26,2,0,2,0,36,53,11,5,7,9,0,5,2,1,4,2,1,0,0,6,6,0,3,6,0,0,6,8,12,0,1,6,9,29,7,20,42,7,25,0,4,3,0,8,6,0,7,15,122,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09071441650780804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.069591779901777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911004624393326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868983045733775,0.08544602837975288,0.18714866426554988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449618350050206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058852779245842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35256632677612554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474491724913558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574012604483213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09197272146005787,0.10010394360153682,0.0,0.0,0.2587200039703628,0.14621727783786093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704668746378247,0.0,0.0,0.07906430189970767,0.0,0.2138647015918243,0.0,0.2326389287010596,0.17166864658121606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049511459860514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371869146074182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18192133044623415,0.3396578432061975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464517867769084,0.0,0.09999210001711653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700214590615286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16336674626786185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898417226306917,0.0,0.07783090530226475,0.10889239164937706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07094668367085173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041121892610303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10287563591764394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655588648458511,0.10521813551469844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739412194257963,0.0,0.08138144985085911,0.0,0.0,0.16309659439215554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243372962202534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22387727491225687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07694370466206911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11881962610784826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977861393481737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06036024265587611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768099555101505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21808901864474667,0.0,0.0,0.13180166107307215 bipolarreddit,oat_cat,2019/03/28,"Is this a delusion of reference? i believe photos can read my mind and they judge me for my actions/thoughts. although i talk to them a lot through my mind. as you can imagine grocery store line ups are the worst, because the magazines judge me and i’ve even stopped going grocery shopping with my mum because of the overwhelming anxiety it gives me.",5.223181818181821,6.9916464696969705,4.9337575757575785,83.20063636363638,69.15151515151516,7.704242424242422,38.95757575757575,8.238735603445708,3.3682521212121213,281,17,50,4,5,86,49,66,0.119,0.8809999999999999,0.0,-0.7717,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,1,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,9,6,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,2,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,12,0,8,6,2,3,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,1,1,37,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138471245972664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3408096437013127,0.0,0.0,0.3149455443613409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18463335205220466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2681599762888364,0.15886886779184325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376546778777924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5645108691442862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27961537255837043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337077271763027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22468344228993312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22192331686986247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,InterpreterCarli,2019/03/28,"""just ask for help"" isn't working I am \*curse word\* struggling. &#x200B; Background: I have been diagnosed by a PCP since 2012 with MDD, GAD. In 2016, I started seeing a male PCP in the south who told me he would handle my diagnosis unless he felt I needed to see a specialist. He changed me from Celexa to a high dose of Prozac, increased my Seroquel, put me on upto 9 Xanax a day, as well as Klonpin. Diagnosed me with ADHD, and started adderall. He changed my meds a few times saying I did not need to wean off or on as they were in the same family....I ended up in ER twice. Had several Manic breakdowns/hysterical fits (i didn't consider bipolar at the time), lost time....then over christmas, he left and the other dr refused to process my xanax refill and I went through 2 weeks of withdrawal. When he returned, he apologized and said, ""I'm surprised you're here, most people don't make it through that alive without hospitalization....I stopped going outside of needed refills. In 2018, I had no insurance and my partner and I decided I would probably be okay going off meds for a bit, and use cannabis (legal here) as the previous Dr had suggested. &#x200B; That is when things got bad. My symptoms blew up, and I started changing (I also turned 25). I've never been an ""angry"" person, not even when I should be. All of a sudeen I couldn't make it through work. I couldnt think. My moods were changing, and I would have a week or two, and then literally not be able to do ANYTHING for weeks. The house started getting messier, I wasn't cooking or eating, canceling shifts left and right, couldn't think or read through anything....My partner started expressing conern over my need to ""at least get back on seroquel and adderall"". In august, our dog died traumatically. PTSD symptoms fllared. My partner has BPD, anxiety, and depression that is not medicated. His anxiety sending me into full panic attacks and anger. &#x200B; I got insurance this year, and January I requested an appointment with a PCP. She immeadiately referred me to a Psychiatrist and Psychologist. First available appointment for therapy is March 25. Med appointment with Psych not available until April 9. Doctor calls and asks for urgent appointments. psych calls and says they can make an exception and get me in on April 7, I decline as 2 days isn't enough to move my off request from work. PCP has me come in to address medicine and for ""safety checks"", mentioning inpatient options. I can't do that. It is not an option. I have laid out my sypmtoms and cited that my sister and father have Bipolar disorder. My chart says ""Bipolar 2 suspected but not formally diagnosed, depression, anxiety, adhd nos.) &#x200B; Today I went in, telling her it seems my depression has improved marginally but my anxiety has been horrible and constant. shaking constanty, not sleeping, headaches, and picking my skin on my face and arms worse than I have in a year (i skin pick with anxiety). She ups the limotrigene literally making me take more in the office, ultimate goal of upping to 200 mg in two weeks. She puts me back on Seroquel, and then tells me she would like to take me off the adderall and wished she had not started it as she attended a conference for ""patient's in crisis"" and they expressed the need to treat Bipolar or other disorders before ADHD and adderall. Says it may be part of the anxiety. I tell her I think it is a bad idea as it is the only improvement I have had to mood, ability to get out of bed, and work- and it seems to sometimes help the anxiety probably because I can think somewhat clearly. She then tells me to come in next week, and that the psych doc may completely change my meds in two weeks, and he or she may still take me off of Adderall. Hopes the seroquel will aid in sleep, picking, and anxiety, as well as upping the limotrigine. Perscribes me nothing for the panic, constant anxiety, not even refilling the 5 mg of Lorazepam she previously would give me 5-10 at a time. To be fair, I told her it wasn't doing much of anything and I did not ask for a refill today- thinking she would perscribe SOMETHING to help me. &#x200B; I am completely overwhelmed. I have been screaming for help for months and all I have been able to get from it has been constant med changes (which I know is a thing but....), wants to take me off the only thing that is helping, and just basically having them hope I'll make it through until the med appointment, and checking weekly to see if I have killed myself or been admitted yet. The idea of going off the adderall literally crushed me. The mention of starting completely over was too much. I was literally crying and shaking the entire time I was in the appointment. I didn't ask for this. I am barely holding on. My social life is gone, I can't make any commitment by the time it comes up either from anxiety, depression, or complete exhaustion. I didn't ask for this. I can't enjoy things. I can't breathe or stop shaking. My mouth is twiching from constantly holding it in a weird position to prevent my chin from shaking. I'm falling apart and everyone see's it, but there is nothing they can do? How am I supposed to do this? Killing myself wouldn't even matter. It would make everything worse for the people already suffering from me, I'd just be another number on a statistic sheet, and other people would still go through this. I have lost 13 friends, 10 to suicide. One was a fucking psychologist. &#x200B; TLDR; this process of waiting and changing meds while waiting for 3 months for psych is too much. Any help appreciated. Even just empathy or your experience. Thanks <3",5.0923292220113865,6.839644682163192,5.479369544592032,79.24434843453513,69.4459203036053,8.571707779886149,33.66835863377609,9.086538512062043,3.122793586337761,4461,216,793,87,80,1423,424,1054,0.133,0.787,0.08,-0.996,0,0,2,0,0,2,196.0,1,1,5,8,25,38,5,8,51,1,95,30,8,12,5,159,172,78,4,23,34,2,3,1,4,14,19,6,2,5,38,53,2,8,15,2,2,21,30,25,3,6,36,13,110,11,136,113,17,133,0,8,4,1,75,56,1,22,57,550,148,12,0.06915530507216126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12466685667636605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03815729940136397,0.027651736240541902,0.0,0.22478923245871635,0.25209379526405656,0.0470279788855275,0.03625768356514436,0.26451809546904764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05690892366051986,0.0,0.16162718740624407,0.03933707155178731,0.0,0.05317616089826327,0.057741791116232025,0.02107821604782717,0.0,0.02942303554375733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037749841035909434,0.0,0.04354934292108338,0.0,0.07061529850531002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25605000085045115,0.08935675783571442,0.14501604326684442,0.1494646338215731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037981927669406425,0.04459945069589802,0.0,0.11912672584878263,0.10528676841076194,0.03588614422515321,0.0,0.07925797094735243,0.03539169255126992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035381570864829466,0.0,0.0,0.0306255369559546,0.03572795825892077,0.0,0.0913528535618938,0.0,0.0,0.03304042879097088,0.031076164519522925,0.0338235791116107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03319996893465646,0.0,0.0,0.0294117335831882,0.0,0.0,0.0267146085758002,0.0319664825927366,0.09032698155061786,0.033170035062446986,0.07860510711428005,0.0,0.05530981492355366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13906002977580662,0.0365331883492284,0.0,0.0686868218901115,0.0,0.03989796854214108,0.0,0.07806792181380587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651009885147364,0.0,0.019002973550094317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513744130659496,0.0,0.024423218568905676,0.016892894444435796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754911846986239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16156596097394266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26885583895666004,0.034833347176556013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055199104728503694,0.0367505724766716,0.0762556595091355,0.1281944561182969,0.02666841728048814,0.0,0.0367737257470371,0.0,0.0,0.06635638034563059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023430712235129502,0.052595725764774316,0.0,0.08113885015931634,0.0,0.037444228128933915,0.0,0.07191537160811612,0.03019187247227317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745611154071842,0.0,0.04041942544130499,0.06952018242095047,0.0,0.0,0.03458700973992606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0295291263367292,0.03289126576456973,0.10999014856816704,0.0,0.0,0.11021564914996347,0.06295639244608088,0.0,0.03906290522827805,0.0,0.02860299149344796,0.0,0.06920524820642694,0.035247562294072034,0.0,0.02661956623353404,0.03419818250646972,0.0,0.1713196830466714,0.0,0.05522751596217729,0.05781693160990541,0.0,0.03614807004397142,0.0,0.03782233969436888,0.0,0.0,0.07187884106336433,0.10399236586071717,0.0,0.12088956955305112,0.031834456801093834,0.039542559147307664,0.0,0.09188742361384522,0.11077981780352293,0.0,0.0,0.12097504355942665,0.0,0.06555114309082972,0.06608085758194175,0.0,0.0,0.03761055673637746,0.1013320265949886,0.0,0.0,0.029863989841238194,0.0,0.0,0.020394795341866046,0.0,0.1941527502081654,0.0,0.0621789244781332,0.06410766063924732,0.0,0.0,0.03976259395730496,0.03333162313837351,0.0,0.10069177145648328,0.0,0.07047516397153168,0.19650377824251564,0.0,0.25209379526405656,0.044533749120732116 bipolarreddit,katinsipid,2019/03/28,"Lifeless mode- advice appreciated Hi. I just want to say, thank God for meds that have made me come down from manic episodes of sexapades and erarrtic behaviors of last few years ..adgitation, running away etc. Bipolar meds help. I'm feeling good and stable now. This year has been fine. But I've just litterally been in my bed, listening to talk radio, on my phone , smoking my vape pen, hardly getting out . I'm not depressed. I went through a depression last year and got through that with the right medication, and now I feel just a static of nothingness. I just don't do anything at all. I have no motivation to leave my room. It's weird. Not even shop or goto the beach, listen to music. Has this happend to anyone ? How long does this funk last for? How can I get out of it? I turn on my music but I just turn it back off and want to crawl back in bed. I'm not at all sad. Just unmotivated to do anything but sit and lay around. It's the weirdest thing. It's been going on for a few months. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you for reading. 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I’m curious to know if anyone else out there prefers this terminology? If so, why? Anyway... thoughts? 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For example my SO not picking up after himself is causing me to really wanna tear shit up and just fucking lose it. I am currently unmedicated and I really dont feel like this would be cause to get on any. I just need to know I'm not alone and some techniques yall might have learned to help. 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I've been unemployed and out of school for two weeks now. I finished my masters program on the 17th and my last day of work was the 15th. I'm applying to a million jobs right now. But I have always done so much better with structure and routine. It's only been two weeks and I already feel myself slipping into a depressed episode. I realized today I hasn't gotten dressed or left my house in 5 days. I went for a 2 mile walk today, just to get dressed and out of the house. My sister (who I live with) even commented on the fact that I was dressed today. I can feel myself slipping but not sure what to do about it. I dont have any income so I cant go out and do much right now, nothing that costs money at least. And I dont have a car either to really go anywhere. I just dont want to get stuck in a depression right now when so much of my life needs to be changing. Any suggestions on creating some sort of structure and routine when I have no job, no classes, and no money? I'm thinking about trying to go walking everyday just to get out of the house. And also getting up and getting dressed even if I have nowhere to go. I want this mini vacation to be over already and back to an 8-5 job where things are predictable. I hate not having anything to do. 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Is it safe to half my dose of lamictal (100 mg to 50mg) until my next appointment? He’s out of office until my next appointment so I don’t really have any other options ,2.7087158908507227,4.070195730337081,4.615762439807384,84.61539325842698,74.84269662921349,8.231781701444623,21.703049759229536,8.841846274778883,1.3666712680577842,336,8,70,7,7,115,57,89,0.0,0.893,0.107,0.775,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,1,8,12,6,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,10,2,13,9,2,11,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,9,42,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12693027157217807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137817848272913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12037558327947699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19104700024921487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857243753181878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033195654431056,0.4146582579896816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5955219560450213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195782836232182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898929510860109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957453208687245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17591800928402038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11009262880309352,0.0,0.29944315696339224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,goodbyecrowpie,2019/03/29,"I need energy! So back in September I finally came out of a multi-year depression, and since then I’ve been getting CBT which has helped so much. But I’m still dealing with daily fatigue. I have a fairly light school/work schedule right now and it still tires me out. I feel like I’m really being held back by it and worried I won’t be able to go away to grad school. I’m exhausted from the moment I get up in the morning, and I’m finding it really hard to sit down and write. It’s mental as well as physical fatigue, hard to focus my brain on anything. I miss feeling “sharp”. I’m dx’d BP2 + BPD + OCD tendencies, but I haven’t experienced true hypomania in a very long time—I’m more prone to mixed episodes/irritability. I *do* experience occasional psychotic episodes (paranoia, delusions, that make my brain feel like it's been electrocuted and often leaves me ""hungover""), but these (in addition to most of my self harm urges) seem to be a result of the BPD as opposed to the Bipolar. I’ve been on lamotrigine (225 mg) since 2012/2013 + went on bupropion (Wellbutrin) almost 2 years ago (200 mg). The bupro I went on to try to bring myself out of depression; it worked a bit, and I tolerate it, but nothing miraculous. Now that I’m not in a depression, though, and I’m *still* so tired, I’m wondering what else to do. My doctor ran a bunch of bloodwork and my iron was kinda low, but taking iron supplements hasn’t fixed anything. I even tried taking Cytomel despite (hypo end of) normal thyroid testing, but it made me very ragey and I had to stop. My Dr’s temp suggested that maybe it’s the lamotrigine causing fatigue, which is interesting, and I might try bringing it down a titch, but a couple years ago I lowered it a bit (under supervision) and my self-harm urges went up. But I also want to try lowering it a bit for brain fog reasons (i.e., it gives me brain fog). So! While that’s something I can try, I’m also wondering about energizing adjuncts. Wellbutrin is not giving me energy (or, if it is, I’d hate to see how I am without it)—(nor is it raising my libido or suppressing my cravings; it just seems to have given me tinnitus but I’m still worried about going off it because this is still the most stable/non-depressed I’ve been in years). Tbh at the end of last semester I turned to energy drinks in desperation, and—they don’t make me manic? Sometimes I barely feel them. Still, those are obviously not great to be using. So I’ve been looking into modafinil/armodafinil, and Vyvanse … I imagine I would stay on lamotrigine because I overall tolerate it and it seems to be doing *something* … Sorry this is rambly, and yes I’ve used search for past threads but— **tl;dr – Any thoughts on adding modafinil/armodafinil** ***or*** **Vyvanse to lamotrigine? Any other ideas on ways to gain energy? Is this the lamotrigine? The bipolar itself? Something else??** Thanks all!!",2.091316889632104,4.777837682971018,3.583594202898553,84.49574247491641,83.40217391304348,6.585328874024526,25.702452619843925,7.8292811421721575,1.813645730211817,2259,95,423,44,65,742,274,552,0.122,0.802,0.076,-0.9746,2,0,4,0,0,0,115.0,0,0,1,2,25,19,1,0,21,1,34,16,4,9,3,80,84,42,0,5,18,0,7,2,0,3,11,0,0,1,33,22,1,4,14,1,0,9,8,11,1,0,16,11,41,8,64,60,9,66,0,8,2,0,8,28,0,15,28,255,74,6,0.06629898484598645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754009962825265,0.0,0.06638885645473631,0.0,0.0,0.10603854845634376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09017116636866906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911683097726782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06229007869192826,0.10195965390892066,0.0,0.08083049159436803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217143960495866,0.0,0.1670025010150586,0.29604637391542565,0.0,0.07582837641271682,0.0,0.06810732033271907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335856570523841,0.0,0.0,0.06835134219755662,0.2284128739959759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06785982031839873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494776486192448,0.0,0.0,0.11076858907779956,0.0,0.11744244398455525,0.0,0.0,0.04378985421015608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485312895714249,0.0,0.0,0.13409103519893506,0.09472801604227253,0.0,0.07262729723000097,0.06059607104184955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692769663846812,0.12720005498645598,0.07535848189735889,0.0,0.0,0.0730948648486775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878173594848382,0.06545652161418351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04443881201964354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484348395094738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05404252145711065,0.0,0.07020105213420222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647806702093402,0.0,0.0,0.058672515281314376,0.055674449444614936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273370250366223,0.0885101744095009,0.0,0.06660624146702936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681378303709894,0.07033274577989365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048737382320767735,0.04915985719191232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649589285417225,0.06361566405323335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06328988292199886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494565474974122,0.0681663985020074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05661897080697367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13419622439602147,0.05283170716374674,0.18106831736416976,0.13832860093137408,0.0,0.0,0.10968641075881064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531205928293348,0.06557139127333349,0.07421628555724567,0.0,0.07066589648519395,0.31767872963936894,0.05542892000326993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969717118742652,0.0,0.0,0.061039197696650976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513841599284953,0.05263398829924189,0.03865947122600755,0.1524018602115939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250632936538084,0.07211425727967724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452207218861547,0.0,0.1094072117786606,0.03910485900962896,0.052625048207015634,0.0,0.0,0.05961074956453308,0.1843794695200064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06390985550673947,0.14379684188025074,0.09653290116995332,0.1346596746808165,0.0,0.04709689662378519,0.0,0.0,0.17077749017285088 bipolarreddit,whatiswong,2019/03/29,"Diagnosed today Hello everyone! Left the doctor today telling me I have ‘severe depression’ and ‘bipolar 1 disorder’ Ah honestly feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders so I can hopefully acknowledge the feelings I have going forward and hopefully get the help I need to feel like myself. So she tried putting me on medication but I personally feel like the diagnoses was rushed and there’s more than just what she asked me about. So she referred me to a psychiatrist and I have a follow up with her in a week. Baby steps ... but I feel oddly emotionally validated cuz before I thought I just was being weak when I was down and think ‘ oh you’re not depressed you were happy asa clam yesterday’ ",6.125945716709076,7.481260458015273,6.840865139949107,71.9420271416455,66.55725190839695,10.402374893977948,32.876166242578456,10.504223727775694,3.754185072094996,564,24,96,15,9,186,91,131,0.029,0.778,0.193,0.9582,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,8,10,0,0,8,1,11,8,1,1,0,24,25,12,0,3,5,0,6,3,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,6,1,0,9,0,0,6,1,3,1,0,6,6,21,7,10,18,1,17,0,2,0,0,10,7,0,2,9,68,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13744538125048913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510458180818987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532590357192573,0.2984477272889399,0.0,0.0,0.16849952982567018,0.15048287215389186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16537954958547235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14048547168120767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3716927780707927,0.31509685393941866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681273562736603,0.0,0.0835557826698002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565072631606068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854550213139512,0.0,0.0,0.29205131182051675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15973943543009744,0.0,0.0,0.2154820319465061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14810882871081346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090146786449476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12837361984736914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14779734973415046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660925982816732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12850338828411062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420552654049777,0.0,0.11671875485406763,0.0,0.0,0.278718636329385,0.0,0.0,0.0998180386759947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179318865198071,0.17903274225187854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,paint1218,2019/03/29,"Anxiety related to BP I have intense anxiety. To the point of affecting my jobs, relationships, pretty much everything. Tell me I'm not alone and what helps you. I'm on 3mg Ativan 3x a day. They help to an extent but make me very sleepy.",1.62125,3.901610291666668,4.133166666666663,82.52850000000002,81.5,8.840000000000002,24.18333333333333,9.3871,2.451578333333334,186,7,38,6,5,65,41,48,0.057,0.7659999999999999,0.17600000000000002,0.5529,1,1,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,5,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,5,4,2,3,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,1,20,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880154914618854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4254733989709735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17934387292269885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24992772841602745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.372793295576512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27595961276181546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18562602211094376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20442681236730756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26288321978412443,0.0,0.0,0.282915657483606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985626378588454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24306132991898294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229451875428034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,karwankareem1,2019/03/29,"Lamictal success stories Does anybody here take lamictal? If so, what dose and how long and can you guys please share your experiences? Thanks in advance 😊",3.9250000000000007,7.2551999259259325,3.649907407407409,80.91708333333334,86.77777777777777,7.144444444444447,32.675925925925924,8.07648339933343,3.3439703703703705,126,7,20,3,4,38,25,27,0.0,0.6579999999999999,0.342,0.8875,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,2,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,4,3,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,11,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35420022969862125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3959240341168328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4007670140111662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35819179915452826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4442949306658297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043222959423235,0.0,0.0,0.3726402377174952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,CREST_BD,2019/03/29,[Cross-post] World Bipolar Day AMA on r/IAmA! - We are a psychology teacher with bipolar disorder and a professor of psychiatry from an international research team working to improve lives of people with BD - Ask us anything! Join us at r/IAmA! - [reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/b6zhfx/we\_are\_a\_psychology\_teacher\_with\_bipolar\_disorder/](https://reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/b6zhfx/we_are_a_psychology_teacher_with_bipolar_disorder/),23.43318181818181,31.3502705,13.319272727272725,15.243909090909142,37.18181818181819,8.974545454545455,38.345454545454544,9.3871,4.986132727272729,378,13,28,6,5,95,37,44,0.06,0.8059999999999999,0.134,0.5067,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,8,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,16,3,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23980546748429546,0.0,0.2724288617042674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18793523819696345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3339809216611869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.257320226406658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20202689020169945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790900723103714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7010603111058551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21214983321407654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,LV42069,2019/03/29,"FINALLY employed again, and as a result, severely depressed again I guess this is just what my life is going to be: any little change and things just become hopeless, desperate, unbearable in my head. Infrequently I get lucky and stress will catalyze a short upswing, but more often it's this. I was *so* *happy* to get this job. It felt like I was finally closing the chapter that landed me in the psych ward a few months ago. The start of my new life. But I feel destroyed, incapable of anything - forget building a life, can I even keep an entry level job? Can I perform the basic operations of said job without feeling the need to go to the bathroom and cry? My main takeaway is this: for all the progress I make, sooner or later it gets taken away. My experience of cyclical mood disorder prevents upward trend, it's fluctuation in stasis. I project this into the future and don't see a life worth living. Even if by some miracle I am able to ""build"" a ""life,"" I will feel the same ways about it. ",4.195881326352532,5.918329146596861,5.129926701570682,80.9630226876091,71.6701570680628,7.606422338568938,28.96369982547993,8.238735603445708,2.1265787783595123,781,31,143,12,15,255,124,191,0.156,0.767,0.077,-0.9163,4,0,0,0,0,1,32.0,0,0,0,2,9,8,1,1,16,0,12,6,1,2,1,30,29,11,0,2,7,0,4,1,0,2,5,1,0,0,13,7,0,2,4,0,1,2,2,4,0,0,5,6,17,3,19,21,6,23,0,2,1,0,1,10,0,6,11,100,30,6,0.12843148092116713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384675872448048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733781112953327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10568816572674536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066560403126113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14184248032843366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586347740794752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107595111416002,0.0,0.0,0.11061784632490873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719360391735145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696555637645728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12563063240992384,0.0,0.0,0.19481644706390386,0.0,0.12331436243005255,0.2813808193358929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013004439022524,0.0,0.1459811406242771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14148175572785446,0.0,0.0,0.1367176996142661,0.0,0.0,0.13180775190826027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38234528253495786,0.11415580131282793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.453574765723736,0.06274513425340142,0.12872208404366725,0.1134073506271975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08572901080167251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025127827634753,0.0,0.0,0.09523031575365967,0.0,0.12403992458087636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221677488692295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10234326221428093,0.0,0.0,0.14509101687328185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090446322920663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147117827470518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853241691323794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194293156185454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12380336451992068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,FlyPolar,2019/03/29,People who're doing well on Lamotrogine; what dose are you on? I saw a post where a lot of people were calling it a life saver. I've been on it about a year now and I seemed to have plateaued a while ago and am now slipping a bit. I'm on 150mg a day. Just wondered what dose people were taking. Maybe I need to speak to my doc about an increase?,0.5455451127819515,2.1308967500000016,1.9969172932330816,100.08342105263156,81.5,4.342857142857143,18.75187969924812,3.1291,-0.8754751879699247,267,6,66,0,7,86,52,76,0.0,0.926,0.07400000000000001,0.5803,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,7,1,0,0,8,0,7,3,0,0,0,7,13,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,2,5,1,10,9,3,13,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,3,6,43,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22697037906023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795372086080248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26145280201868315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651292510228475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808536978336204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21768215897275026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25723381078222424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898557421115738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.532532632818735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24522242369589106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330957392862676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192515616433966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302171678859865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776722481301989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488599125778575 bipolarreddit,elealyansteorra,2019/03/29,"How do you make a loved one understand? My SO does not deal with any mental illness himself. But more than that he was misdiagnosed as a teen as having severe mental illness and was medicated. He now holds a lot of resentment towards the field in general. &#x200B; I have Bipolar II. I have suffered for years and years. No medications work, though I did have great luck with dTMS. A full year of no depression and no suicidal thoughts. I thought I was in heaven, I swear. &#x200B; But that's all worn off now. I'm taking my medicine, I'm trying my hardest, but it's just not working. I'm having full meltdowns nearly daily and it's only a matter of time before I need to commit myself again. This time last year I did a 10 day stint in the psych ward after a suicide attempt. And those feelings are back and so so strong. &#x200B; My SO keeps my medicine under lock and key, luckily. But now ECT is on the table. He doesn't think the time off work is justified nor the cost. But he doesn't understand. I could die. And if I do attempt and it doesn't work, the hospital bills for inpatient treatment are going to be far higher than the cost of ECT, plus I would very likely lose my job. &#x200B; He says if this was cancer, and I needed 6 weeks off work for chemo, it would be a different story. Cancer is killing you, depression is just rough. How do I explain that I'm dying? &#x200B; &#x200B;",2.2539467766116985,4.716310634057972,3.3420139930034978,88.05326086956524,80.34057971014494,5.980809595202397,24.372313843078466,7.237678284180719,1.1591813093453274,1109,41,214,15,29,356,147,276,0.185,0.711,0.104,-0.9732,2,0,0,0,0,1,57.0,0,2,0,9,14,12,2,0,15,0,28,8,0,3,2,47,47,28,5,7,11,0,2,1,0,2,7,1,0,0,10,13,0,2,7,0,3,1,9,6,0,1,9,3,23,6,27,33,5,30,1,4,0,1,12,13,0,4,17,146,33,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43424258220434375,0.4869888980703814,0.04542377489289513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05136223200641147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05683873195820392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05333141069672845,0.0,0.0,0.04307808791205983,0.06886405281517673,0.11506311151185758,0.0,0.13864802831737036,0.0697879171702434,0.0,0.0,0.05845389271293856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03377421654461408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03796187690398251,0.0,0.0,0.07364315712936312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628502142281371,0.05937162100228682,0.07390020982449694,0.0,0.0,0.05444790010313544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03263329842012977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472797444423998,0.0,0.056787826039480176,0.060286269116410926,0.0,0.0445870492754878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458049088313032,0.13462992052299494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09905722091793573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04526290193075935,0.0508015964981812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05311909917666103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546080677083282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461286225701131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050222505085058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042800372253562716,0.06562702611257416,0.106057602779363,0.1168483799756206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04535030342531453,0.0,0.0,0.13907460906819874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05511394339931657,0.0,0.0,0.053579963182338264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24314251157483255,0.0,0.0,0.09490035081263408,0.0,0.4869888980703814,0.17205851011550333 bipolarreddit,Mishelle_v,2019/03/29,Tomorow is Bap day.. What are u going to do? It says 30.03 we shoud spread awareness acceptance let people know about bipolar disorder and so on. But im thinking about doing something for myself to make myself happier. As we are bap i think we all can do something to enjoy tomorow. I feel so out lately and a little bit sleepy or depressed and i dont know. Just let me know if you have some idea what to do tomorow.. Thanks. Love u all :) ,0.2058653846153824,2.6127704431818195,1.9340909090909117,93.25286713286717,94.5681818181818,4.071328671328671,20.405594405594407,5.873414542411696,0.15829265734265796,341,12,68,3,13,111,61,88,0.061,0.74,0.2,0.9287,0,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,3,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,0,12,2,0,1,2,23,22,9,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,7,0,0,8,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,10,4,10,20,4,6,0,1,0,1,6,3,0,3,2,48,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22070844127567216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130377704577342,0.0,0.17412175293234136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316950581304777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369322475627294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221913368053938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11489326968951333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282161840200322,0.21836954904189249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333086887323181,0.0,0.22804743489908325,0.0,0.0,0.41344849041916976,0.0,0.0,0.20261933909791294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18245901259533706,0.0,0.13494464170002146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015361068045756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16076726139765402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112682231031956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18612352122870005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590743721432942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,piifunk,2019/03/30,"my medicine regimen. 1500mg lithium 100mg anafranil 20mg abilfy 1800mg gabapentin 45mg buspar .8mg clonodine taken daily. i feel kind of normal but keep being told i’m over medicated. GAD, OCD, rapid-cycling BIP. feedback?",1.4928571428571438,3.9028815000000003,2.471785714285716,86.6919642857143,103.04761904761904,4.0047619047619065,26.67857142857143,5.985473137389443,1.3678000000000003,181,9,30,2,8,57,36,42,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,6,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,1,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257186820059537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3967903747964292,0.0,0.4648680875383792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4497118532080156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4373877407450421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4265645901630539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,casualfanboy,2019/03/30,"Grateful to be doing good This is the first time I’ve remembered World Bipolar Day on the actual day, and I’m just happy to be doing good these days. Last month marks 15 years since I was diagnosed, and I can honestly say life is way better since then. There have been ups and downs (way more depression than mania) and it never completely went away, but I’m feeling solid. I’ve got a support network that kicks ass and I just feel safe. It took a while to get here, but I never want to go back. My advice? Stick with the therapy and stay honest. And keep fighting.",2.171230893000807,4.370115584070799,3.349106999195495,89.34800482703139,79.0,6.586967015285603,20.892196299275945,7.686295010490155,0.8141929203539822,443,12,90,7,11,143,81,113,0.093,0.69,0.217,0.9165,0,0,0,0,2,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,5,10,1,0,5,0,10,4,1,0,2,20,22,11,0,1,4,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,8,0,2,3,0,0,3,2,2,0,1,5,3,5,8,10,15,1,24,0,1,0,1,2,5,1,0,13,55,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.16091368762465344,0.0,0.0,0.16113343952855488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15492423623749574,0.12679404040410874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14583618577314947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17288922083336014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31903080955895635,0.0,0.14202378128968168,0.16736490615826805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16675168542676866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402595626802176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615080708983096,0.0,0.09371360172545697,0.2766121261696995,0.1318815572560426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17553374354633952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14656621058215855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441139483062298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11647018173985342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316175781964943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543543062196716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18679383725921705,0.0,0.0,0.13113108492626793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728056179939133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757560797948593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18712083843077684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18857174935204232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615157307243496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18320435991807316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09725931548753644,0.26177187673033936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15285927332845675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061869433591429 bipolarreddit,desperatedark,2019/03/30,"Cognitive-Behavioral Function/Dysfunction vs. Mood Disorder I have never felt that my bipolar is a “mood disorder”. My upbringing and career have made me into someone who is not very in touch with my emotions and moods... I have always been turned off by my pdoc’s suggestion to keep a “mood journal”. I’ve always seen my moods or moments of happiness/sadness etc as situational. It is difficult for me to look back at periods of my life and discern any mood swings in the context of bipolar. Recently, my therapist (a new therapist for me) posed a question: “Are you feeling X or Y? ... those are common in mood disorders...” My response was to reject the term “mood disorder” as a descriptor for my bipolar. I said that my experience of bipolar is one of different phases of cognitive-behavioral function or dysfunction. Depression isn’t depressed mood but a decrease in the quality of my functioning (but I can still function if I push myself). Baseline is functioning. The hypomania spectrum is higher functioning (I’ve developed a way to focus hypomania on school/work so I don’t spin out). Mania is complete inability to function [within the confines of societal norms]. And while mania includes a euphoria feedback loop, I see it more than a sub-symptom of delusions- a “mood” that is solely born out of the far-between, brief psychotic states rather than an everyday experience of the majority of my life with bipolar. And I understand depression and hypomania encompass behaviors and functional levels that are not necessarily strictly associated with moods/emotions, but when it comes to actual moods and emotions, I feel like that is something outside of my bipolar experience. I can stay in bed until noon but still have a great day (or whether I have a good/bad day is dependent on whatever people/stimuli I come across). I can be hypomanic over a work project but then go home at night and get sad due to loneliness. All kinds of combinations of emotionally-neutral activity with situationally-based emotion on any given day. Anybody else experience bipolar this way? Accepting the bipolar diagnosis but don’t see it as a mood disorder or don’t identify your experience as a “mood disorder”?",6.972772459499263,8.871908832474231,8.000883652430044,62.3813402061856,65.05670103092783,12.037702503681883,40.918998527245954,11.698219412168324,5.860342120765831,1769,105,265,63,28,598,202,388,0.104,0.845,0.051,-0.9445,1,0,1,0,0,0,57.0,0,2,0,1,7,23,0,0,24,0,28,10,0,2,2,48,45,31,0,2,17,0,4,1,0,0,10,1,2,1,12,18,0,2,7,0,0,5,7,6,0,1,7,9,32,4,54,37,5,50,0,5,4,0,7,19,0,8,23,187,44,4,0.0,0.0,0.07778101448313259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326426268885334,0.0,0.0,0.10840486858260803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128856555727773,0.06655071540407881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373183626670032,0.08356964027189949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542102501357932,0.0,0.20595054316093225,0.0,0.0,0.08327522324303223,0.5480960565359961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658366984499843,0.35863158017226865,0.0,0.0,0.08889263785706031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3898360864617111,0.0,0.0,0.08060293347773059,0.05694158423197356,0.07652972452991552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04164280412004594,0.0,0.045298439931827916,0.0668531437860081,0.0,0.08787553202525282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995105787050298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084585976688625,0.0,0.08300095322811495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125966227794369,0.038940053253968175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693249758771662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07541921713427993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06147375113939139,0.07698001329140003,0.0,0.07479815863329561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05401047080566301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928833733608912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869950898692868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07581812842527014,0.0,0.0,0.08066616334125394,0.12702983675878854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959225718675108,0.0,0.0,0.0675341629946281,0.0613611438904583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495539683305421,0.12730573909197165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284447369417053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18508832467621664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669663372627819,0.0,0.08297617687413851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576533770431657,0.0,0.12653294095610454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11605302322963774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,TA2086,2019/03/30,"NSFW! I'm terrified I just lost my job. It was completely my fault. I'm so sick of being a complete disappointment to everyone. I know that if I didn't exist everyone I know would be better off including (especially) my daughter. I am trying to get up the courage to do what I need to and I want to say good bye and I love you, but I'm afraid people will think I'm just being dramatic. I'm sorry I just thought it would help to put this out there instead of just journaling. ",0.7681818181818159,3.0057060202020196,3.4149494949494934,86.60909090909092,84.75757575757575,7.236363636363637,23.141414141414145,8.296473431620573,1.613638383838384,372,14,79,9,11,130,65,99,0.125,0.735,0.141,0.3729,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,2,7,8,0,1,2,0,10,2,0,0,0,17,24,5,0,5,6,1,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,4,1,13,4,11,14,0,4,0,2,0,1,6,3,0,1,1,52,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874912406079648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4445428180933567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4051382176722021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075798242402857,0.0,0.0,0.17781029594203926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209493912553164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103710814640844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330124370740947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23141621596570686,0.0,0.19133263230852926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15719067629478548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14696977078632978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213112267522744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685859354093241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23730964215961256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13583703233063202,0.0,0.16829935417735126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14392983771480256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12503940379930742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30118854913583243,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Sanesplaining,2019/03/30,"Choosing between physical and mental health. I was having severe stomach problems, so my physical doc took me off my Vraylar cold turkey and the results weren't good. When I felt better, I wrote an essay about it (and other things, health care, the ability to talk to your loved ones when in crisis, etc) recently published by As It Ought To Be Magazine. I'm bipolar 1 and a poet and essayist. I wasn't diagnosed until 45 years old. Before then life was a heck of a roller coaster. I'm mostly high-functioning now. I work as an English prof. Happy World Bipolar Day! [https://asitoughttobemagazine.com/2019/03/29/frankly-im-not-doing-well-by-daniel-crocker/?fbclid=IwAR1aB\_aQbULtEJIpzWWbkBSRXG6maTo6fjVvob89HwfnvY8bxwgVWFzMNdE](https://asitoughttobemagazine.com/2019/03/29/frankly-im-not-doing-well-by-daniel-crocker/?fbclid=IwAR1aB_aQbULtEJIpzWWbkBSRXG6maTo6fjVvob89HwfnvY8bxwgVWFzMNdE)",17.119633027522937,22.805554403669724,9.66283486238532,45.19902293577985,46.247706422018354,7.662752293577981,29.24862385321101,8.548686976883017,2.6450029357798166,766,20,76,9,10,194,82,109,0.103,0.7509999999999999,0.145,0.7046,0,0,0,0,0,0,58.0,0,1,0,2,5,6,0,0,7,0,7,8,1,1,0,12,14,12,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,1,0,1,7,2,9,5,12,5,2,13,0,0,0,1,4,3,1,1,9,52,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507695717876967,0.0,0.0,0.15670384943689894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806497440483304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11426829283788348,0.0,0.0,0.17983688284636054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19760573564023126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701233406797488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486125845307788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18861445925751316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37667420961344705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18720342961421887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3827758075306996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514950062970295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15991445738168328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17855865857448833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18592361614656944,0.0,0.12006369788452158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695400770177473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17494670810527485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001662094073237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14241287891567128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771242544239705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19685668738924791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3186173569292613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289912392151156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140999587729158 bipolarreddit,ManInAbstractland,2019/03/30,"The warm glow fades as it casts shadows of doubt That's the problem with becoming close to someone so quickly. The stars line up, and suddenly a light flickers in the ever present darkness. Everything is new. It is bright and exciting again. Life has meaning. It has purpose. Reality has it's own plans, to which remaining blissfully unaware can provide a temporary sense of comfort when staring into the face of eternity. Depending on others for happiness is a reliable way to perpetually avoid adressing the root causes that prevent you from finding it within yourself. Even an otherwise functional and healthy relationship will crumble under the weight of one sides inability to truly form a connection, given they lack the emotional stability needed to build a solid foundation. You know by now that isn't the solution. Light cannot lift the darkness from outside the source. It will just burn out of control, leaving you with yet another fire to put out, and smoke further clouding your eyes.",7.330898176967539,9.573787745664744,7.197687861271678,67.16121831925302,64.60693641618496,10.640995998221433,41.053357047576704,10.727762888450028,5.309699333036906,812,48,117,23,13,258,125,173,0.118,0.7559999999999999,0.126,0.3481,0,1,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,4,1,2,9,8,0,2,17,0,11,4,2,4,1,25,15,7,0,3,1,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,11,10,1,3,3,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,1,9,5,5,26,12,3,24,0,0,4,0,6,11,0,2,11,87,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294292330999113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416456777727072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22476626023198495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454010460408635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461187862799851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14451430064841725,0.1979157079846228,0.0,0.0,0.19664192227257726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19997780277203356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23291499916187025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024589602870504,0.0,0.0,0.2316759472472597,0.0,0.0,0.15454380299910453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383356351582004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16223626477426334,0.0,0.21131688882496816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14826347991679995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093605498323908,0.0,0.2199528564634752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349076326961476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185387201212882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17367201091211398,0.0,0.26643754525789604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,erratastigmata,2019/03/30,"Feeling weird about my meds muting my feelings potentially? I don't know. I had wildly bad, totally untreated BPII for about fifteen years, sine I was a kid, so I honestly don't think I know what normal is. It's weird because I've had med combos in the past that seem to have muted my good feelings and my bad feelings, and that sucks in its own right, but that's not really what's happening now. 2019 has been an absolute shit year for me on an actual non-mental health level, lots of life problems, and I'm just...handling it? Not really bummed out about any of it? I mean, I'm stressed, but I don't know. As an example, my grandmother just passed away and I did cry a bit but overall I don't feel much. She was quite old and it's an inevitable fact of life. It sucks but what can you do? Has anyone experienced this, I guess I would almost categorize it as apathy? But I'm happy and excited about things, so it's not really apathy all the way through. Is this what being normal feels like? :I Sorry if this seems like a brag about doing well, it's really not, I just want to know if anyone else has been here. I am so so so grateful that after a shit load of trying different things my meds are working for me these days, and I recognize and fully support people that are struggling.",2.4162118940529744,4.277749704980845,4.071667499583544,86.08247376311847,76.8544061302682,7.6042645343994675,22.458937198067627,8.456263369488248,1.340249242045643,1007,29,208,20,23,337,141,261,0.165,0.7170000000000001,0.119,-0.875,1,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,0,2,15,19,4,2,10,0,25,5,2,0,3,48,48,22,0,7,13,0,6,2,0,1,3,0,0,1,24,9,0,0,15,0,0,1,8,11,1,0,7,7,25,8,23,39,6,16,0,0,0,0,3,7,4,7,9,141,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.1056285972532715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838874733059732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07360828526021149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15137067403242493,0.11090674076412377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10169694073802303,0.0,0.18075513056875767,0.06598333062118056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11817225121507333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889877612762005,0.06980714815032553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308987258095045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042231825386296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32838250520367385,0.07732812059306188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078827072406803,0.0,0.0,0.11924078815400832,0.0,0.09571806065933894,0.11522564285932525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11505620545236328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237947933296884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15290907940300594,0.1057631667449214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202349448669747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11790729182839595,0.3606974478375384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07957033906017137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21210839494954967,0.0,0.0,0.11358179154213245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033292557658782,0.07504138760757134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357299457152457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151287118608967,0.0,0.0,0.2773704383891372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243809350895543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970789391313203,0.0,0.0,0.2222177557481027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116807929301017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123990868001621,0.11315806098660958,0.0,0.0,0.12283176137510125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14382237658261945,0.06935711568472612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734892262705764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638439477487177,0.08591747708833729,0.0,0.0,0.09732257516956733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880147959118174,0.0,0.0,0.07689202527070385,0.0,0.0,0.13940862383071018 bipolarreddit,S-Fleur-44,2019/03/31,"Reminder that we are all valid When I'm having a good week, I often have people I work with make comments about me not being sick anymore (I'm really open about my mental health in hopes of destigmatizing it or to raise awareness or whatever) or if I am able to smile and laugh in the middle of a depressive episode then I get comments about how I mustn't be ""that sad."" I also often find myself comparing my experiences and where I am currently with the rest of you, and I find that I often feel like because I don't go so severe into mania in my standard cycle (except when a severe episode was caused by SSRI's) I feel like I don't belong, or like I'm making things up. So I'm making this reminder for anyone who might occasionally find themselves feeling the same way. We are all different. We all react to different medications or treatment plans differently. We're an abnormal bunch of people, and that's fucking great. At the end of it all, we are all valid. We all belong here. This is a community for all our different levels of crazy. And the level of support I have seen in my short time here has been overwhelming. I adore you all. Thanks for reading my little ramble.",5.305747126436785,6.008382793103452,6.4126896551724135,76.63460919540232,68.05172413793103,8.94528735632184,28.82873563218391,9.029198982220553,2.3260697701149424,936,31,174,16,15,314,131,232,0.05,0.794,0.156,0.9723,5,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,6,2,0,2,15,14,1,1,10,0,18,4,0,6,9,50,35,18,0,3,8,0,3,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,10,14,0,0,6,1,0,1,4,4,0,0,3,4,29,10,27,28,11,23,0,3,1,1,11,14,1,11,10,130,39,2,0.12373878323271577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09895386024561176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271562336393953,0.08652103430632888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543001375680071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12711381579655726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657603268212287,0.0,0.0,0.5171227680827433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959583432750693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104027361253054,0.0,0.0,0.1876981402106936,0.1767980229312602,0.0,0.0,0.33928501847289955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143945111984566,0.06464840710915609,0.0,0.07032360207253098,0.10378622062879543,0.0,0.13642244535034834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315285402900108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229005317225628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18135755760042047,0.12401876814392195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477897959657095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12465380612672328,0.1246995898261597,0.1312672947321427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17156978425552674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12377226870478725,0.0,0.07927023305150692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795792084172469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140417304841563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139220467708566,0.0,0.0,0.08220654930595755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215307958393201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982180865638598,0.09925578810093896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008330791521267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,JungleCatStevens,2019/03/31,"Made process ln acceptance and combating shame I've always been the type of guy who tried to hide my diagnosis, like if nobody knew it wouldn't exist or something I just got disability for my Bipolar 1 and have made a lot of progress in seeing myself as equal to others even as someone who has struggled with mental health I was talking with someone at my gym and they asked me what I did for a living (a question I used to fear extremely since I had to stop working) I was able to tell the upfront truth to them that I was getting disability for problems with mental health. I wasn't hesitant with the truth, didn't downplay my diagnosis or make a cheap joke about it. I know for others to accept me, I have to accept myself, I've made a lot of progress in that regard, it may be the best thing I've done for myself in a very long time ",6.411150326797383,5.598816847058824,6.839019607843138,79.67336601307194,65.82352941176471,9.437908496732025,32.41830065359477,8.515128840125781,2.3518104575163408,664,23,135,8,9,217,97,170,0.087,0.747,0.166,0.9143,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,2,4,3,12,0,3,10,0,15,3,0,5,2,30,26,8,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,1,11,7,0,1,6,2,1,0,3,4,0,0,14,1,21,8,27,9,4,7,0,0,1,0,9,4,0,7,4,96,32,2,0.15119331910147538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580495333669278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141345343762056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15866806051048069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547232586399917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09986176132837142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17013451823396178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07899226895640292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092310905800255,0.0,0.0,0.14970515649022792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214228561730525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309189413128314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07386541864344351,0.0,0.13350647075661673,0.133801329628518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570783063516363,0.0,0.42918832270600377,0.1009227145355984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3047346092122367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14467158727635446,0.0,0.0,0.16937111961024695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048150025886292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506867594938975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25621121726762963,0.11639600368156658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264043847575122,0.0,0.15806008471389854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12152346279262766,0.1321496250099851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100446123007945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881620402325347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265033907978237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058248361417962,0.0,0.12475032250403388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007053700961372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,buffystan,2019/03/31,"Feeling like I’ve changed so much that my friends don’t find my interesting anymore I don’t know if it’s the meds or not for certain, but around the time I got stable a couple years ago and went on a new med my personality changed somewhat. I used to talk constantly, I always had something to say. I was also a bit of a wild card so people often found me entertaining. But now I don’t talk so much and I no longer feel full of energy. There will be times when I hang out with friends and there are long awkward silences. I went on a couple dates with a guy a couple weeks ago and he kept telling me that I seemed really tired. I wasn’t. Apparently I’m boring now. Just needed to vent. It’s worth it to be stable now but I miss the version on myself when I was unstable.",2.390584045584045,3.7836109074074114,4.05641975308642,88.17542735042738,75.72839506172839,6.959924026590691,24.18993352326686,7.61054688173877,0.980482811016144,605,19,134,8,13,203,98,162,0.117,0.725,0.158,0.6816,1,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,14,9,0,1,10,0,11,1,0,1,1,27,24,15,0,2,7,0,2,1,2,1,1,1,0,2,5,8,0,1,6,1,1,3,6,3,0,0,9,3,19,6,14,12,6,24,0,1,0,0,9,6,0,5,16,87,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357243729866995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632911842999336,0.11063446836685016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1318619002582411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836376297179654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14515932320863106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28131089002970816,0.0,0.0,0.14368395001006082,0.0,0.0,0.4413575101287667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13445847542828185,0.09498759255973696,0.0,0.0,0.12152423638378558,0.0,0.0,0.1457852229843817,0.20545116981858705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063413127152029,0.0,0.0,0.13165260954189928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307206345211441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0649581841220611,0.0,0.0,0.11766658289369004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953801019151555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19548373576186012,0.09858913297954884,0.0,0.12841487001797822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217863691135443,0.11609669482601274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08517842535082543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573617721054904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104299075639682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10236011894438003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21373854277707088,0.1162140529453548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506162821998376,0.15281947630640555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11483588896546285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665354966093994,0.0,0.0,0.24651294881029026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562272985678421 bipolarreddit,FuzzySpend,2019/03/31,What's wrong with me My whole life is failure after failure. I have never felt like I belong anywhere I'm standing since kindergarten. Everyone leaves me no one ever understands and I don't think I understand myself anymore. I keep trying to get better but I fail every time and I don't know what to do anymore. I've been alone my entire life no matter how many people are around me and I don't understand why or what to do anymore I can't keep being alone but I'm too afraid to do anything because I know I'll fail like every time,1.4366969696969711,3.7960052454545488,3.1104545454545485,89.08901515151518,82.9090909090909,5.121212121212121,21.89393939393939,6.42735559955562,0.5446666666666662,427,14,83,4,12,141,64,110,0.267,0.705,0.028,-0.976,0,2,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,4,7,0,1,0,0,12,2,0,1,2,21,24,7,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,2,7,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,2,1,16,3,7,21,1,7,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,7,52,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29755888019131443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4273905147447104,0.0,0.0,0.11821279293617733,0.12788012682097788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08756850872772387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12704791503675406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12994083924414349,0.24206485821624565,0.13726498819372931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792779060703855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505188346410946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553677795477488,0.0,0.0,0.1578940126050827,0.0,0.0,0.1521060017142742,0.0,0.0,0.2029303451067711,0.1403615534860774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14563988715476714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11079275049093834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734184924393692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958973491927302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11882985279919865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204596271498468,0.0,0.0,0.1675284747964943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752981384063247,0.0,0.0,0.4486382573399316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962296888687136,0.16038156389538458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15706016295717445,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,meowmeow2345,2019/03/31,"Inspired by the other post: lamictal solo treatment? In the last 1.5 years I’ve taken a ton of medications, Wellbutrin, adderall, abilify, seroquel, Zoloft, gabapentin, propranolol, hydroxozine are a few. I spent 2 weeks in a hospital last May for a mixed episode. For the majority of that time my main mix was lithium, lamictal, and latuda. After months of tapering (mostly due to weight gain and acne side effects), I’m down to just 250 mg latuda (with Xanax/Ativan as needed). Does anyone have experience with being only on lamictal? After being told my some doctors that my bipolar will never be able to be treated with one medication, I’ve been a bit nervous about this ",8.14017857142857,8.68760704166667,8.304047619047621,66.06000000000002,61.91666666666666,10.857142857142858,37.976190476190474,10.608840637214634,4.421119047619047,535,25,81,12,7,175,91,120,0.018000000000000002,0.921,0.06,0.7059,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,1,8,0,10,6,0,1,1,13,15,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,5,1,4,2,20,4,7,16,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,3,10,56,8,1,0.22530906222715386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15754133500585674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459791414165494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23061337235191695,0.1971694786859592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22039549627757254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673139146301591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4539503529566273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798395438958757,0.0,0.0,0.16706381476067333,0.17377223865267874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267525160948126,0.17135769463893574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157838004363222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13137952607213554,0.0,0.0,0.21529246436578692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807293392854937,0.2743657391779086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450916490265135 bipolarreddit,rainywriter,2019/03/31,"Bipolar/In a relationship/Struggling Hi, I'm an almost 22 year old female who has been diagnosed by 4 different psychiatrists with Bipolar type 1. I have also been in impatient once and am currently treated for my mental illness through therapy and medication (lithium and streamline). After feeling good and manageable for a decent amount of time, I entered into a relationship and have been with him now for 6 months. It's hard. I don't know how to explain this... But my reality and perception is constantly compromised by my mental state. Sometimes I feel like I'm dreaming... And when I snap out of it or come back from it... It feels like it never happened, but still leaving those I love confused and hurt. I get scared of myself and sometimes don't recognize myself and just seeing a glimpse of myself in the mirror is scary. I feel like a whole other person. My anxiety that the ups and downs brings leads me to want to make impulsive decisions such as cutting out those I love, including my boyfriend. Feeling cozy and settled with him or anyone scares me and even happy moments send me fear that makes me want to run. But I don't really want to leave. I just don't what to do? I feel torn between wanting to take care of it myself or want a lot of love and comfort. Just another human in the room reassuring me that everything is under control makes me feel grounded and overrides my emotional illusions. One misconceptions leaves me simmering in sorrow for days and days and even up to a month. One sentence feels like it could make or break me. And one reactions feels like it can end my life if it comes from someone close to me... Ecspecially if it involves a negative, failing perception I have about myself. I feel like I can't do it. Between the sorrow, constant confusion, frustration, and pure exhaustation my brain imposes on me... I want to die a lot. And think about it regularly then feel guilty and resentful about how it would hurt those I care about. I wish I got murdered quite frankly. I can't control that, but it would be nice. That's just bluntly how I feel and what I want since no one here knows my real identity. I try to pretend I have no issues by being fully invested and loved at work. I feel like I have to earn acceptance in my work life but also my personal life because of the burden my mental illness places on others for even knowing me. I love being productive, getting things done, and I'm very goal orientated... And I get so fucking pissed and feel like a failure to everyone but especially myself when my mental illness damages days, weeks, and even months worth of plans or goals. There's so much more I can say. But I really just want to know or hear from people that get it, that understand, that know what I'm talking about. I want to how you deal with. I feel like I'm literally crazy at times. Thank you.",4.059857997606702,6.1275772550458765,4.944413641802953,80.7158785400878,72.77981651376146,8.262066214599121,29.27901874750698,8.964715089967882,2.5750023932987642,2264,95,416,48,46,735,257,545,0.19,0.637,0.173,-0.9566,2,0,0,0,0,2,68.0,0,2,0,11,30,43,6,5,16,0,30,18,2,11,2,116,93,54,2,15,20,0,16,9,0,2,10,2,1,3,34,37,0,2,27,2,2,7,10,19,0,4,5,19,66,24,64,82,6,53,0,6,1,6,23,20,2,13,33,291,100,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054587264705456814,0.0,0.0,0.08718864313494126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05716202060082728,0.04170257814547478,0.0,0.0,0.03811701516785977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041917415922035725,0.0,0.03323084382348316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060854948559891466,0.0,0.0,0.11116002582911212,0.0,0.0,0.09391688105779487,0.0,0.11781917151785712,0.12228275760433445,0.043524489426483945,0.0,0.0,0.10546983985686753,0.056200889859507434,0.0,0.05532992213064032,0.05657627056612266,0.05695486812162887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05578610321827021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06132020292924281,0.04828266459004008,0.0,0.0,0.1440222646288777,0.0,0.0,0.052089860286200655,0.0489931010972624,0.0,0.0,0.061342695846875524,0.4134539603433022,0.3504992559423764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050396731308522034,0.11392394157624736,0.0,0.0,0.04572322762481423,0.043599321153647584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04820599225459756,0.05803049507006194,0.04883327118922668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06144052887729885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671537816989913,0.0,0.0,0.056897794313775826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979561002508598,0.0,0.0,0.17316536027686985,0.0,0.0,0.11551321422389944,0.23969230705401665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269063397042246,0.2460022197463038,0.0,0.14555238868775194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054916484262558136,0.2197466174526272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053615336327906,0.0,0.0400735986710161,0.0,0.04204407088610024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05720261072599511,0.05805495895872612,0.14775867885438593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0377927062548764,0.09519794242435947,0.05695486812162887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05798167821222664,0.0,0.06204814852163629,0.06984532026943295,0.0,0.0,0.11705391469116973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043351219108118615,0.1091547847897794,0.0,0.043440097296372035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045094022238241945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0461890007288028,0.0,0.1078302318697998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04353444697439713,0.0,0.0,0.05698920949599871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04098726928444507,0.04381578114616362,0.0,0.05018858615749041,0.06234078844354962,0.0,0.03621626014893107,0.034929965760572744,0.0,0.0,0.06357436780450859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03701099926171697,0.0,0.0,0.056750339741646186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04497923860248724,0.28938057734662265,0.0,0.04372733648960343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06086222980620627,0.0626876841386198,0.0,0.0,0.07937276389965607,0.0,0.0,0.07744946667550816,0.0,0.0,0.03510482240402369 bipolarreddit,kismesistude,2019/03/31,"Does anyone else have adverse reactions to touch when coming out of an episode? I just had a minor freakout over something I said, basically I told my boyfriend I wasn't up for D&D tonight (which he was okay with) but I feel like I ruin everything and I hid myself away in the bathroom. I ended up getting really angry at myself during this and threw my phone at the wall, which prompted my mother to come upstairs and ask what was going on. I blew up at her and told her ""everything's fine, just please leave me alone"" (which was obviously yelled, not calmly spoken). I then moved to my room and started sobbing which prompted my boyfriend to come in and try to comfort me. We talked it out and I started to calm down, but when he was rubbing my back it felt like my skin was burning so I pulled away. I don't really know how to describe it other than an adverse tactile reaction to touch. I notice it a lot after I have a breakdown like this. TL;DR had mini-breakdown, lashed out and regretted it, talked it out with boyfriend and when he tried to physically comfort me it felt like my skin was burning. 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We all know to hit the hotspots with baby wipes, reapply deodorant, febreze clothes, spray some cologne, use some dry shampoo. But if your feet stink, the best, fastest way to curb it is to use a household antibacterial cleaning spray. A few squirts of 409 and your foot stank is a distant memory. ",6.4465517241379295,7.908386241379311,5.120172413793104,84.17956896551725,65.89655172413794,7.8689655172413815,38.63793103448275,8.07648339933343,3.031124137931034,254,14,47,3,4,74,46,58,0.139,0.7959999999999999,0.066,-0.5719,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,1,2,0,1,0,4,0,0,5,0,2,2,2,2,1,12,6,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,1,7,5,5,2,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,26,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4373040349242735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35890563812351256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290090422496247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7197951092512611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3307594038390727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,hammerkat605,2019/03/31,"If you have to take a med with a certain amount of calories how long can you wait after eating? So I take Geodon at night and my psychiatrist told me to take it with 350 calories. Normally when I'm at home I eat 4 tablespoons of peanut butter and take the Geodon. But if I go out and have a big dinner how big of a window do I have to take the Geodon? Will it still work if I take it an hour later? Half an hour? ",2.7119999999999997,3.0021842000000016,4.157777777777781,91.97000000000004,73.66666666666666,7.333333333333332,21.66666666666667,7.1686216300943375,0.3086666666666669,318,6,78,3,6,106,54,90,0.0,0.962,0.038,0.4696,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,1,5,1,0,0,8,0,6,3,0,2,1,15,16,11,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,3,6,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,9,1,12,14,1,14,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,3,8,51,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34257812977039503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513565228805106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16791298007341965,0.0,0.3297049264804525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14814120115294188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18594048547294084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570908760264792,0.16401365534849652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336835721799044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.755170898355509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599551408452886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218671115558041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,golden095,2019/03/31,Lithium solo treatment? Recently my doctor is pairing back my anti-psychotic so I will soon be solo lithium. He upped the lithium a bit to curb any discontinuation mania and I’m a week into tapering off. Anyone who is solo lithium with good experiences? Looking for a little encouragement and any advice if you have it! ,4.3547126436781625,7.293642172413794,6.897241379310348,62.830229885057484,75.55172413793103,8.004597701149425,32.08045977011494,8.841846274778883,3.6767839080459774,258,13,35,6,6,92,46,58,0.0,0.892,0.108,0.7235,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,4,0,5,1,0,0,0,6,7,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,6,5,1,8,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,1,4,27,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.293133997819092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4079892170588606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20975085401678195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.230663753420998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.327497129439191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3070391132378463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934350122395165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516064282702595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30065570460239044,0.0,0.0,0.2519050817888055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2961910426562257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406234101013031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,tinypurplepotato,2019/03/31,"Mania and crafts I'm awake. I have been wide awake since 3 am. I know that it is in part due to my (maybe? hopefully? tapering off) mania and in part my new med. I have so many craft, gift, and furniture rearrangement ideas. They're all floating in and out of my brain and they all sound amazing; it is absolute torture that I need to wait another 6 hours for the fabric store to open and before anyone gets too concerned I only need a yard and a quarter of fabric so hopefully it's a cheap visit. If my husband wasn't asleep right now I'd be taking furniture apart right now to fill the time and to make getting it downstairs easier. If my gym was open I could fill this time productively, or at least in a hot tub. Ugh. How do you guys fill up antsy hours? It's been a long time since the 3am ""gotta make shit"" style mania hit me.",2.3906523534269226,3.828800208092488,3.6894013212221317,90.62082369942199,75.82080924855491,7.254995871180843,22.183732452518573,7.957251820313856,0.843368620974402,648,17,145,10,14,212,107,173,0.061,0.847,0.092,0.6601,0,0,0,0,1,0,20.0,0,1,1,0,6,6,2,0,8,0,12,3,3,3,2,28,26,14,0,7,3,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,8,11,0,1,3,2,2,4,1,3,0,1,4,2,14,3,16,18,5,28,0,0,0,0,5,14,1,5,10,81,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652986234031892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11022511222065716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13413949247440926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17597767046178153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586220904899814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16472012813125173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15608775950333428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31314292552572964,0.3104860491967862,0.0,0.0,0.17795565986150633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663447466946025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395058810926512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104510060197481,0.15982157785971124,0.158369934501292,0.0,0.17510180189451496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337751895948034,0.0,0.1522490850562213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989184375483185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3414161499306529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26924631988639075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16181454711307144,0.2608018303532929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11852518715331307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757623515934953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,intertropical,2019/03/31,"Obsession as a feature of (hypo)mania? Around 2 years ago I spent a solid month with classic hypomanic features (feelings of grandiosity, sleeping less, immense productivity, etc). Afterward, though, the euphoria ebbed away. Instead, I became utterly obsessed with a friend. And whenever she got remotely close to someone else, I became *utterly convinced* that I was getting abandoned, and would sometimes do crazy things to try averting it. It wasn't even like the catastrophising that happens when I'm anxious/depressed. I truly 100% believed that Fate Itself had ordained she was destined to leave and no amount of logical thinking could convince me otherwise. Basically — do you think that might have been hypomania/a mixed episode? The psych I saw said that my ""feelings of being under-appreciated"" were a feature of depression, which makes sense given my low self esteem and self-harming tendencies in that period. But I don't think I was depressed? Depressed me never has so much obsessive energy. And in fact it was when I got properly depressed and anhedonic that the obsession gradually went away. (Also I'm currently going through a mixed episode (I think) and am really obsessed with self harm :// )",8.418719211822662,10.370392817733991,8.084704433497539,62.92538177339901,61.70935960591133,11.317241379310346,42.57881773399015,11.20814326018867,5.701666009852217,974,57,134,28,14,310,132,203,0.162,0.736,0.102,-0.8745,1,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,1,0,0,8,16,0,5,9,0,18,1,1,1,2,28,37,14,0,2,1,0,2,1,1,2,0,1,0,2,13,12,0,2,7,0,1,2,4,12,0,0,15,4,17,4,18,18,4,18,0,6,1,0,7,7,0,1,10,95,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068586510614802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985501550204096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14106264334336854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115690189992844,0.0,0.0,0.2346307777295394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068082886521968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969506142384814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5377330085559417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430922848832308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925820692591895,0.08247258444484402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262716492576935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647089174662282,0.0,0.06523714868772199,0.0,0.07096402664516918,0.0,0.1997329346180047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041828226238397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221469458357107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100304957163225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334879123121677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246272270586196,0.0,0.0,0.09966657085138424,0.0,0.09179062026057017,0.0,0.09630408730189206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999213300584347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877582746458652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3907863166213959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249558268667314,0.0,0.10579826036884436,0.0,0.12349532103949495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295518977168669,0.32003546765690594,0.12267986752802924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08477558021644889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575170888448648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870097546463993,0.0,0.0,0.08040938496829016 bipolarreddit,coffeefandom,2019/03/31,"Advice for Communicating with Psychiatrist? So I've seen this guy on three separate occasions and the first time we met, he seemed very serious about only meeting with me if I stayed compliant with my medication. Honestly, I have a problem with doing so because I've been a bit self-destructive and purposely go off of medication to ""feel"" something or to induce mania. Well, after having a particularly bad depressive episode after a particularly bad manic episode that started to become psychotic (seeing shadow people, forming complex delusions, thinking my assailant is after me again), I'm struggling to figure out how I'm going to talk to him about dumping my seroquel down the toilet. Truth be told, like I've read many others say, seroquel makes me feel dead. It helps regulate sleep, but I hardly function in the day and it does a damn good job of making me in a continual depressive state. I told him when he tried to re-prescribe it to me the first time I met him after being out of the psychiatric hospital ... and he didn't listen to me or take me seriously when I told him it makes me suicidal. :c So now that I broke my promise of not taking my seroquel, idk how to communicate to him that I don't trust him. He didn't even refill my lithium after we first met, so I was rapid cycling all of February. I feel like an emotional train wreck and the seroquel helped me crash from my manic episode last week, but this depressive episode this week was god awful. Should I just find a new psychiatrist if I don't feel like he is helping me and I don't trust him? Being on Medicaid makes my life more difficult. If it helps, I have type I with psychotic features and PTSD. Thank you in advance for helping. I've found this subreddit so supportive and not knowing anyone with bipolar disorder, I don't feel as completely out of my mind seeing so many similarities to other people with my diagnosis. I appreciate you all!",8.078499347542412,7.562977041322316,8.569592576482531,67.65142235754679,62.33333333333334,11.719240249383793,37.83804552704074,11.10113133989139,4.325157575757577,1538,68,266,37,19,514,185,363,0.17800000000000002,0.708,0.114,-0.981,1,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,2,2,0,4,17,25,2,1,14,1,19,5,1,7,3,55,51,26,2,5,10,0,6,3,0,1,4,2,0,1,14,20,0,0,13,1,0,3,8,13,1,4,13,11,48,12,46,34,5,36,0,4,3,0,32,10,1,6,24,181,62,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09369246526271224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704126696324005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16011097315771486,0.05844733283476985,0.10589151901545496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10467572390752182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052796840072674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061834429753360724,0.0,0.2477429557867369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988636318313938,0.0,0.08390491077847502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10785167927539613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06332759168782218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423981102255559,0.1369928543843198,0.0,0.0,0.08763224527782314,0.2446654941884493,0.0,0.10512706599614602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089812071286426,0.08041928509136931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949359083763848,0.0,0.0,0.08588931625595245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3213304763662788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951457388089304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05269293745792037,0.07815469574736622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06772261852493495,0.14052583319616652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560015915249525,0.19441379286291416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931772813750176,0.0,0.0,0.09681109460223357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260114460786456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729207795025171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329417268450164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174385756866478,0.11207815720257047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590557689711468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07624733050608587,0.0,0.0,0.15280730387361655,0.08728521462687522,0.10002336518967066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09594887362991178,0.0,0.0,0.07381282381954463,0.0,0.0,0.06786409596290481,0.10219492893014406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023420750601728,0.0,0.10487675388137913,0.1088030684747984,0.0,0.0,0.14417909954867952,0.07706441514601392,0.0,0.0882730819366204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061435795779359766,0.0,0.0,0.11181636718488587,0.0,0.0,0.2748512873434262,0.0,0.0650959754103004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911073649584335,0.0,0.0,0.15381771244579506,0.0,0.08620730250689544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,torchic442,2019/04/01,"People with breasts Through mania and medications I managed to lose so much weight I now have the smallest breasts in my life. Maybe this isn’t the place but I’m p angry about it. I lost a lost of weight, unhealthily, but like, god fuck. I also worry, maybe it’s new med, I’m gonna enter mania soon. ",0.2214516129032269,2.573178161290325,1.89701612903226,95.26552419354843,89.96774193548387,4.390322580645162,19.04032258064516,5.985473137389443,-0.18049032258064512,234,7,51,2,8,76,48,62,0.298,0.617,0.085,-0.9423,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,3,5,5,1,0,3,0,2,7,2,0,0,4,8,5,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,2,5,1,6,5,1,6,0,3,0,3,0,2,1,0,4,27,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16141916514326676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18660683321291466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425724416437954,0.09861358774557426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258182292832655,0.4406856735405202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4055703910494449,0.0,0.22420955875069049,0.2033423786294241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14838278494024185,0.0,0.0,0.19494773789487208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13993719532313886,0.0,0.21089001806827767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4915972123866731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20498821024875027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ctilley83,2019/04/01,"What careers can BP sufferers succeed in? To start let’s just say I’ve had a very hard time getting my career together. Took me seven years to get a bachelors degree in Information Systems. My grades in subjects that interest me I excelled in, and anything else I usually failed or received a sympathy D. My first Job out of college I was happy for about 6 months, then I started struggling. This was well before I was diagnosed and started having intense panic attacks. I was able to hold that job for another year before I was let go right in the middle of the Great Recession. So I tried to freelance however I struggled. I would program for hours upon hours until I would crash after a few days. That led to poor quality work and I was in over my head. It was the perfect example of being overly ambitious and it led to me abusing Xanax to try and reduce the anxiety. I literally forgot two weeks of my life off of one binge. Luckily I was diagnosed and got on the right medications. I’ve been sober for quite a few years, but I’ve had very little luck becoming financially independent. That’s kind of the cruelest thing about it because my mood has improved, however I’m still spinning my wheels. I’m getting older and feel like I’m running out of time to build any type of meaningful career. My question is what careers have bipolar sufferers been able to excel in? Is there anything that fits the personality type so to speak? Seriously need to know what careers would accept someone who is only productive 6 months out of the year and burns out quickly. I feel I need to work in a field completely different than what I’m in because it’s just not working.",4.882667189132707,6.52479729153605,5.980583855799375,75.85869187565311,69.81504702194357,9.078422152560083,33.35436259143156,9.516144504307137,3.3808149425287364,1332,64,233,30,24,443,175,319,0.104,0.758,0.139,0.9119,5,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,11,10,21,1,3,14,0,25,7,1,3,1,36,44,14,0,5,5,0,3,1,0,3,6,2,0,1,16,12,0,2,7,0,1,6,1,8,1,4,15,5,27,12,48,23,2,53,0,3,0,0,7,23,0,3,24,156,43,20,0.19815448077335288,0.11739032862797005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737592096628046,0.10389112524915907,0.07579381770947513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1630642538204953,0.0,0.0,0.11271466419467045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079313227604024,0.10942302790363974,0.16861486837099224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10388060152204888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389662359381325,0.0,0.0,0.20112262686590124,0.0,0.10351462868840307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276632102926161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019285935497577,0.07078080032881033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427505005927527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15529130651923415,0.0,0.05630787894764892,0.0,0.07924112001538235,0.1092330072996956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546956472541598,0.08875374663317408,0.0,0.1016818324212736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195142248381226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19663774642957946,0.0,0.0,0.10317369944620017,0.05445026022283464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026263819675738,0.06998118494720952,0.04840413506821102,0.09930142339242047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998098962352344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581650160492704,0.0,0.0,0.14692903668713214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06713730222514702,0.07535270590550805,0.0,0.11624579420978133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651042471833324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098918412474494,0.1053808408098103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16922284388275485,0.0,0.07879019822473013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08394782426183346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21038214208034176,0.0,0.07912321215608865,0.0,0.0,0.20715408725470008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06582251606295167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554547125506474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007845959404744,0.13453388524337515,0.0,0.09678406737169028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091195827588352,0.16349819905404758,0.0,0.0,0.07947378599117905,0.0,0.08908233780585176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21638823301721494,0.0,0.0,0.2111448867173882,0.0,0.0,0.2552099777363804 bipolarreddit,Doggostrophic,2019/04/01,"5 years Today marks 5 years without being inpatient, which is a huge achievement for me. I spent a lot of time inpatient as a young adult. I probably spent more time as an inpatient than out between 17-19 years old, and then in and out for years after that. I've had some close calls with manic episodes but I've managed to keep things from getting to the point where it's a crisis. I'm proud of myself! It also marks 5 years of keeping the same career choice which is another huge one for me. I used to flip flop and jump from job to job so much. I'm glad I was finally ablation to find something I enjoyed, which probably helped keep my episodes from being as serious as before. You can do it! It's possible, even if things seem bleak. 12 years ago I tried to kill myself and was ready to die and even though sometimes those feelings return I know it's just the bipolar and not me.",3.3029130087789302,4.7803927988826835,4.031065442936954,88.93459497206707,73.52513966480447,7.348922585794092,25.63487629688747,7.957251820313856,1.3431624900239432,697,23,146,10,14,222,108,179,0.12,0.77,0.11,-0.5911,2,0,1,0,0,1,16.0,0,1,0,2,7,5,1,0,8,0,9,1,0,1,0,26,21,16,2,1,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,12,10,0,3,4,0,2,1,2,2,0,1,5,1,14,3,28,14,5,25,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,4,16,94,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762430653765645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611451553882384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13914014268783104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112911939244876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13549435242214564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137714347333651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17528490280832187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06709354968251224,0.0,0.0,0.14535865631221126,0.12127896535304435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06932659710007598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894129686293765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26335458423814384,0.3538308103922653,0.1468051048011251,0.0,0.07292458290951148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128108130268181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754459654316977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13923894458021002,0.0,0.08991618667022383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543774133569927,0.14959137966357425,0.0,0.0,0.28613091672223434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079869101841648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215352664125298,0.13123673455490753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17631061854622224,0.0,0.13037016361824938,0.0,0.1547486690398757,0.0,0.12577741469089027,0.0,0.0,0.0900898125042833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460411695281104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127911282339855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5126995106526518 bipolarreddit,snippyorca,2019/04/01,"Does anyone have a good diet they follow that seems to help symptoms? I'm bipolar 2 and have just been diagnosed prediabetic (thank you Seroquel!). I have an exercise plan, but I was trying to a modified Mediterranean diet, basically about 50% of veggies, some chicken & fish, a tiny bit of whole grains (not daily), tiny bit of hard cheese and yogurt. Light on grains because of the prediabetes. Well, damn if I didn't start having low level symptoms. Can't fall asleep at night without extra seroquel. Snappier with my child than I want to be, and for no real reason, leaving doors open, windows down, losing things. Low level stuff, but signs that more is coming if I can't nip it in the bud. I started thinking about it and realized that my first real hypomanic episode happened after I decided to eat nothing but fruits & veggies for a month. Two weeks in & things went bad. Does anybody have a diet they follow specifically for BPD? Is there any research on this? I never thought I'd be worried I was eating too many vegetables.",5.547468541820873,7.1261154455958575,5.927361213915621,77.12022020725391,68.11917098445596,8.001332346410067,31.402294596595112,8.418075326091056,2.5459299777942266,823,34,140,12,14,264,131,193,0.116,0.8320000000000001,0.052000000000000005,-0.9356,0,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,1,2,3,6,8,1,0,8,0,15,13,1,1,1,27,28,9,0,3,8,0,1,0,1,0,5,0,2,1,9,7,7,0,6,1,0,5,7,5,1,2,6,3,14,3,23,20,6,24,0,3,0,0,6,11,1,4,8,91,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4079183932938968,0.0,0.08534028688570232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.087748387986101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10478232609460494,0.07650003454067036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27401409460831305,0.0,0.15805541750435775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810204945497323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12737386316791166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196414536427488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568235743595244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067452117346919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10525849151436292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109740123402458,0.0,0.11241805813157932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411604550196643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13288012499065535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14039579036519848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723131362760867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016818806589448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678878129312367,0.0,0.0,0.11776770544993448,0.0,0.12041496720871413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856795048782656,0.0,0.12902882902372476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142451093999878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776507304417197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143660712740627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260872827739023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553810053665345,0.0,0.0,0.16674539876530464,0.08041154781931631,0.0,0.0996282923308559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520225176783669,0.0,0.12258949424377966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740196677253191,0.0,0.10066379203594808,0.0,0.11283426119852452,0.11633428185042123,0.0,0.14010967362516324,0.0,0.12097182776741833,0.0,0.0,0.12744534347278008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,mycatsnameislucky,2019/04/01,"help - friend in need - will delusions from an episode last when my friend is fully recovered? Hi - I don't know if this is allowed and I want to preface this by saying that I am going to ask my friend's doctor as well. I was hoping that people might point me in the direction of some research - I've tried googling and haven't had any lucky myself. &#x200B; My friend had an adverse reaction a psych medication that triggered a manic episode that turned into psychosis. He is in the hospital now and is receiving help. I'm just worried -- he's made some very serious (and unfounded) accusations about his boss during this episode. I'm worried about him keeping his job. When he's recovered, will he continue to believe these delusions? Or will those thoughts go away? I want to make it clear that before the manic episode/pyschosis he had NEVER said anything about his boss like this - he would mention criticisms here and there but it was a very grounded professional relationship. ",6.112410256410258,7.803017933333333,5.608888888888887,79.51115384615385,66.8888888888889,8.64957264957265,34.401709401709404,9.057496981413335,3.122299145299145,788,37,137,14,13,241,112,180,0.062,0.826,0.112,0.78,2,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,10,10,0,0,8,0,17,2,0,6,2,30,33,11,0,6,4,0,0,1,4,5,2,2,0,0,13,6,0,1,2,0,0,3,3,2,1,0,8,2,14,8,16,20,2,16,0,0,0,0,23,7,0,7,7,86,27,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15772978186002165,0.17688880779717606,0.0989955715822944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11979531248024905,0.0,0.13609239588600516,0.0,0.1367719237167621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12387307685199282,0.16401247764812976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14900154828707762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44988162506340973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654665518798288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19515087908860906,0.0,0.0,0.1445882080055835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14446011144094592,0.12939319928269674,0.0,0.0,0.08000387313832602,0.11866255072095824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112028970145393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13774599990050726,0.09717203025513484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14665087446183514,0.0,0.1544314141610575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794155953844424,0.11227593762016924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092294681609168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13761484459955026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562924063617165,0.0,0.0,0.13847457328984933,0.11576659133524915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556979833300017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883544948884704,0.15834312466240433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24022822153528064,0.17172708417569482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088885201867353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2956757021332075,0.0,0.10341186409769768,0.0,0.17688880779717606,0.0 bipolarreddit,hijk178,2019/04/01,"[SURVEY] Participate in a Research Study on Interpersonal Stress and Suicide Risk (18+; $50 gift card raffle) I am a doctoral student in Fordham University’s Mood and Behaviors Lab, conducting a study on the role of personality, interpersonal stress, and suicidal thoughts and behaviors. The study aims to investigate whether there is a relationship between certain personality characteristics and suicidal thoughts and/or behaviors, and how perceptions of interpersonal stress and relationships with close others may play a role. **You do not need to have a history of suicidal thoughts and/or behaviors to participate.** You must be 18 years of age or older. Your participation is completely voluntary and you can end the study at any time, and all data is confidential. After completion of the study, you may enter a raffle to win one of two possible $50 e-gift cards. If you are interested in participating in the study, please click on the link below. **You must take this survey on a desktop or laptop computer.** This study should take approximately one hour to complete. [https://fordham.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_eyxdAL1elTNHeyV](https://fordham.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eyxdAL1elTNHeyV) We hope that this research helps us better understand risk factors for suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Thank you very much for your time!",8.398428571428575,12.235682557142859,7.639523809523813,58.102142857142866,66.28571428571428,11.23809523809524,35.714285714285715,10.813802987103665,5.313428571428573,1107,54,149,38,21,344,122,210,0.152,0.731,0.117,-0.906,0,0,0,0,0,1,60.0,2,9,0,2,2,13,0,5,14,0,14,1,0,1,4,35,24,15,5,6,5,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,2,5,13,0,0,7,1,0,1,1,5,0,3,4,1,12,7,26,14,2,20,0,0,1,0,18,11,0,6,8,93,17,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07196462816378096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359361177306627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33286649390835843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831637059030833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372953852497606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093226608511509,0.0,0.0,0.10510810190473448,0.10421630711977478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777935505913286,0.07846789580022068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434195160900319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848046144040504,0.0,0.11616407017041795,0.0,0.11930178579122705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227232889893332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3636665361744687,0.0,0.0,0.5787768636655368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15913445821805144,0.0,0.0,0.09742944097441067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3360529135218415,0.12341481579214432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337564697731992,0.11016755600140113,0.12729444381999178,0.0,0.0,0.08731670700472455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814782969971232 bipolarreddit,PositiveRush,2019/04/01,"Questions for you people, who are bipolar. Hey, I'm actually not bipolar, but my ex-girlfriend is and I had some questions regarding the disorder. I hope that this is allowed on this subreddit, if it isn't then I'm sorry. We dated for 2 years. Before we got together she was in a manic episode and then afterwards we got together. At this point I didn't even know that she was bipolar. She had social anxiety, schizophrenia and depressions, the same as me, so we worked perfectly together. We would sit at home, playing videogames and were just enjoying the company of the other person. Then her life changed. She finally found the motivation to get into a new class and I think this is what triggered the manic episode. She was suddenly a complete other person, she spent like 1000$ (all she had) on creative things and new hobbies. She was really outgoing, which I wasn't used to at all. And then it happened. She met with another guy. Then she met a second time with him. Until then I just thought she is finally making friends, but then she cancelled a date with me to go out partying with the guy and another friend of hers. That was the moment I realised something was seriously wrong. We had a talk. She didn't cheat, but she also made it pretty clear that she does not want the relationship anymore. I asked her why and she couldn't even give me an answer. She tried to explain it by ""feeling like she is trapped in a cage."" and I first thought that she meant she wants sex with other guys, but no. She told me she misses the time from before the relationship (her last manic episode). And yes I know that it sounds like she cheated, but she didn't, I know this for a fact. Even more things happened. She proposed the idea of a 1 month relationship break (without cheating). I agreed. And I think that was the time where the manic episode manifested itself completely. After 1 month I texted her and her response clearly showed me that there is no spark of common sense left in her. She didn't care about anything anymore. She straight up told me that she knew 3 weeks ago already that it won't work. She told me she is currently at a restaurant with another guy and she will bring him with her later to pick up her stuff. When she arrived she had completely new clothes, a new haircut, tons of make-up. BUT I also knew that she did not do any of this to hurt me. It was pretty obvious that she didn't really have a clue what her actions did anymore. It was almost like a child that just wants to have fun and that doesn't even realise how his actions affect other people. 1 week later I visited her parents to get back my stuff and they just cried and told me they don't know what's wrong with her and that she is behaving really weirdly lately. So now my questions for you guys : What will happen once her manic episode is over ? Will she feel regret and shame ? And what can I do to prevent that ? She tried to commit suicide multiple times in the past and I'm almost sure that once she realises what she has done, that she will do it again. And the last times I was there for her, but I'm scared that she is too ashamed to contact me this time. After the break up I texted her that she can contact me anytime, but I'm not sure if she will do it. I mean, what happens to you guys once the manic episode is over ? And especially what happens when the manic episode started like this ?",3.759271425323941,5.463227066265064,4.25929074789725,86.83985792225508,72.76506024096386,7.3607183450784275,27.58854285064788,8.029587711577364,1.6847019549897708,2668,100,533,39,53,842,263,664,0.106,0.754,0.139,0.9698,4,1,1,0,0,2,78.0,6,3,2,5,23,29,3,3,33,1,57,5,0,9,10,110,108,49,1,9,19,1,2,5,2,7,4,1,1,9,57,39,0,1,22,2,1,5,18,14,0,2,41,3,107,15,56,59,6,77,0,4,0,1,107,21,0,9,53,386,164,4,0.0,0.0,0.05786642973981816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05256422231966846,0.0,0.11875704108715986,0.0,0.06543697085486397,0.0948414005627477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04032476789467729,0.18653780691558236,0.04536291397806172,0.0,0.1764234598106464,0.0,0.0,0.048797315813471874,0.0,0.05543575524256295,0.0,0.0,0.045596608584265085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091669743638366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06045840465659924,0.0,0.06272956833912002,0.0,0.1865189114327294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06513622119246879,0.0,0.0,0.05107340017309709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679608045677384,0.0,0.05189220098390155,0.060682584003173085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15666344604630533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05996584150909735,0.04236260230249353,0.0,0.1299164254632567,0.0,0.050438966684453385,0.0,0.06501734864986458,0.0916271900894144,0.0,0.06196166030475765,0.056884178170077,0.033700498882113884,0.0,0.09485227738656804,0.0,0.0,0.3522868823063298,0.2621857421193644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05948086822512304,0.05889643177912893,0.0,0.0,0.06347988416170136,0.06694038106175834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13035482551040525,0.09667179529612067,0.0668908835622332,0.0,0.06442760145537124,0.0,0.04188402918311155,0.14485037709132584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05610933282799131,0.07916393639154852,0.0,0.0,0.06459305714380104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466241751911207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229082048368658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894517480471672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584356582414387,0.0,0.0566067833364009,0.08221972640912822,0.10355369536195674,0.0,0.0,0.05605590814459676,0.0,0.0,0.12065505072246492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19928245986677548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396371864947627,0.0,0.0,0.190992028517082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0593677817165113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06044698505208537,0.0,0.045650604396039164,0.0,0.0663794117260279,0.04197152794304948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13576436424706348,0.06486253951595722,0.0,0.11177558836054226,0.0,0.0,0.04766159790124818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879009724588627,0.07599170614948861,0.0,0.09415219729377078,0.2074633300511076,0.0,0.0,0.226647651667894,0.0,0.08051908780769497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05121455300846586,0.0,0.0,0.10492673611452427,0.0,0.09513078048786697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05350734715207586,0.0,0.0,0.05716128987296965,0.0,0.08633950276217651,0.0,0.0,0.042123696551709146,0.12966641229218615,0.0,0.03818605730738642 bipolarreddit,kindahappybutno95,2019/04/02,"Thought loops Hey, I'm just curious if someone can relate to this. So from time to time I experience something like thought loops on different topics. I'm not sure even how to call it, but, for example, today I spent whole day thinking about that our world seems kinda hollow and that there's something beyond love, family and money. The reason I post it is that it feels somewhat damaging to me. I feel like I have to find the answer and I spend some time doing researches. I just don't know how to be over it and calm about it. So why it feels damaging..I have 2 outcomes: first is logical but I can't accept it, the second is irrational, I can't prove it, but it feels like it's the truth. I'm not sure, maybe it's something obvious and I just don't know about. Just curious if it is related to bipolar, because my friends say I just need to calm down, but I can't. If you experience it, how do you stop it or what do you do about it? Btw, I have bp2",1.7206060606060625,3.54403641414142,3.5393939393939418,89.27909090909094,78.79797979797979,7.228282828282829,23.626262626262626,8.167268648758528,1.2780383838383842,742,25,163,14,18,249,99,198,0.081,0.764,0.155,0.9436,1,0,3,0,0,0,26.0,1,3,0,1,17,12,0,0,4,0,18,2,0,4,5,48,34,18,0,4,15,0,4,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,20,5,0,1,16,0,3,0,7,1,0,2,3,5,19,11,18,30,3,13,0,1,0,1,9,5,0,8,10,111,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109290668888048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258769487313284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637185593406904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15612557161773635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869901876888657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29234809330228234,0.14087203558424338,0.0,0.3022310496016594,0.21350978216153144,0.0,0.0,0.13657896014856302,0.1271075453810883,0.0,0.0,0.11545148511162505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642488237602487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21901609517244594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13486902329438755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501254296287343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11080259925905432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431154077296325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536419055626047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188350370529694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13603809661943764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266140082325616,0.3451222329500348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493259259294415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28167747287365824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09575056620816584,0.0,0.23726605592687194,0.26140657087956193,0.0,0.141644913103022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13483994624438714,0.16683649232813344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,robbyes,2019/04/02,"My experience with tramadol This past week I was prescribed 8 tablets of tramadol for an unrelated post-treatment painkiller, and I felt completely different. It’s hard to explain, but basically even during arguments and other stressful situations that unsettle me, I was able to stay calm and focused. I felt enough of the “anger” emotion that I knew I was angry, but my brain was calm enough to accept the anger and be passive while yet acknowledging it. I was also productive and in great spirits, which seems to be the norm on this opioid. I’ve never been diagnosed and I’ve always lied on depression quizzes at the hospital, but the truth is a couple weeks ago it hit me that my mood swings and depression might not be normal. I realized that sometimes I am completely happy and good, to the point of being TOO happy. I will often hyper-organize my house, deep clean or workout every single day... basically checked off every symptom of a mania. During these times I paint,write, exercise, I eat and cook , hell I even tackle projects outside and have a hard time falling asleep for being too excited with my projects. I’ve also had bad instances with alcohol during these times, from a feeling of cockiness and recklessness where I have acted out in ways I am ashamed of. As for the depression, it comes on as low and long as it can be. I sleep on the couch during the day, lose weight, and am constantly weepy or angry. I do not like to work on anything, much less have the energy to deep clean or create. These “mood swings” as Ive always called them come in bouts of weeks, sometimes months and occasionally like I mentioned as a result of an argument or something else incredibly stupid. This is having a toll on my marriage and family, and I am curious as to medications having any similar effect on me as tramadol , which I read up on and completely agreed with the following: “In fact, one of the reason people like taking Tramadol is because for some people it works as an antidepressant, producing euphoria or energy, unlike other opioids which tend to make people drowsy. This has led it being used recreationally, while people still go to work or live their daily lives.” blog.iodine.com I am obviously not going to get this prescription refilled and don’t need the cautions because like I said, I read up and completely understand the danger of taking opioids as anything other than a TEMPORARY strong painkiller. TL;DR I’m (24f) hesitant to take the first step in getting diagnosed or treated for what I suspect is Bipolar 1 Disorder. Had a good experience with an unrelated painkiller and would like to hear from people who self-diagnosed and are now on treatments, or anyone who can relate to my experience. 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Maybe just a place where I can spew how I'm feeling out without being afraid of creating some kind of judgment or conflict. I have been having a growing identity crisis lately. Once I was diagnosed, my life was based around understanding my illness. Then it was about treating it. Then it became about maintaining it. Now that I've been maintaining it for nearly two years, I feel like I've completely lost myself in the process. I am on disability so don't work, live in a rural town so don't have a big social circle, and I used to get into a lot of different artsy projects, but since getting on my current med cocktail that actually seems to work, I've lost all drive and desire to be creative. I even pulled my art bag out in the hopes that I would want to pick things up and get messy...but nothing. I ended up putting it behind the end table in my living room so it is out of the way. I spend my days exercising, taking care of my dog, cat and husband, my house, cooking and watching tv/movies. And while I am a genuine cinephile - it's not enough; I feel so empty. Nothing about my life feels worth while anymore. I can't tell my husband before I sort this feeling out because he'll take it personally and I cannot handle that kind of conflict right now. I literally cried myself to sleep last night (though that was provoked because right now my husband is sick with an infection for over a week and he can get a little brash when he doesn't feel well...I try not to take it personally, because it's not personal, it just can hit the right/wrong buttons). When I was showering today I was listening to music, and the song ""Try"" came on, and when Colbie Caillat sang ""You don't have to try so hard"" I just lost it. There was no trigger this time except the song. I've always really been interested in and invested in politics, but the way that politics have been for the last two years, I just feel like it is adding this constant weight to my heart. I am so so sad to see what has happened to our country. Everything feels like it's getting worse and I can't see the good happening in the world, anymore. So that hobby has become a very heavy emotional weight. I just....I just feel empty and I don't know what to do. I don't know who I am other than a woman on disability with bipolar. I know others feel this way and that I'm not alone and I wish it made it better. I guess what I need is how to dig myself from out of this pit that is quickly burying me alive. 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I've been out from work for 7 months on disability related to my bipolar diagnosis. My current workplace is terrible and I'm not looking forward to my impending return. I was looking at applying to different jobs, and there's a section, like the section asking if you're a vet, asking if you have a disability. I would have never considered my bipolar as a disability, but this time it gave me pause because I am actually on disability leave lol. Does anyone report their mental health as a disability? Even without having to divulge details? Do you think this might later help if I need a reasonable accommodation at that job? 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I'm recently out of a long and dreary depression, and finally feeling active and happy again. I'm probably in the early stages of hypomania, but doing good so far and keeping an eye on it. My main problem now is the insomnia. I have no trouble falling asleep at all, but most nights I wake up after 4 or 5 hours and can't get back to sleep at all. I know that the lack of sleep will probably trigger hypomania or mania for me. I'm going to talk to my doc and see if a low dose antipsychotic would help, but I thought I'd see if anyone here has any tips. 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At first when I was on Lexapro it didn't help much with my panic disorder but when I went on this depakote and Seroquel during inpatient it was like night and day. It was like my panic was gone and I could finially relax and function. Is it common to use this medication for panic disorder?,4.2318143459915625,5.769178784810129,5.22854430379747,81.02779535864978,71.27848101265823,7.79831223628692,30.888185654008442,8.344100000000001,2.407479324894515,320,14,59,5,6,105,45,79,0.236,0.653,0.111,-0.8667,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,7,0,4,0,0,8,1,0,1,0,12,12,9,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,9,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,4,0,1,9,0,6,3,11,2,1,11,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,8,42,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458684645138601,0.0,0.0,0.10063418638292902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.536512981406443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13272925262856838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459166900427977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246848663316415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571959070082995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470883059554984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14643485430523606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7323267029008668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477019438257232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14465250510219715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,bedgrimlin,2019/04/02,"Diagnosed . . . Now what? I spent almost a decade avoiding seeking help because I was convinced I could manage myself and things weren't serious. I thought I was suffering from depression alone. Recently It got so bad I finally made the call and was eventually diagnosed as bipolar 1. Now that I've been officially diagnosed I've been so out of my body. Trying to look past the stigma and facing the signs that have always been there is so surreal. Makes me think how long I've been suffering from this and how alot of things are explained. I'm in therapy now and I've gotten some answers but now what? I feel like therapy is so wasteful. I go, talk for 50 mins and I'm back to my brain spinning until we meet next time. Nothing is better just more confusing. I did not want to be on medication if therapy would help but at this point I dont feel like a chat is enough to help me cope. I'm afraid to lose alot of myself in it all. The transition from unmedicated to medicated has me hung up. What has it been like for other people making this transition? I dont know how I'm meant to tackle this.",2.256517931609676,4.597868738532114,4.025921601334446,83.84791492910759,79.50458715596329,7.816847372810677,24.587989991659718,8.710501217029153,1.9696440366972479,867,32,172,21,22,291,127,218,0.107,0.7959999999999999,0.098,0.2876,0,2,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,0,2,14,14,0,3,8,0,23,9,3,6,1,38,43,18,0,4,5,0,2,3,0,1,6,0,0,0,15,8,0,1,8,1,1,1,4,9,0,0,16,3,19,5,23,24,6,21,0,4,1,0,9,7,0,6,16,116,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026093865238313,0.12438545290451655,0.0,0.0,0.09993127299469924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234805612383873,0.10027693004943726,0.07321071117936666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621704478966157,0.0,0.13340195888955886,0.0,0.134069242614449,0.12263362829156355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958885919827274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10344035164159268,0.3656912508933005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815082502947791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240934824459184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145045583733065,0.17159626983014512,0.0,0.13156164156285038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825454038791816,0.0,0.0960534533986316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414977542077185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600279667730759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602165382718976,0.0,0.0,0.1062830742631924,0.10085218976062624,0.13435909827937426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11363976352527674,0.16033288149841798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24197248133020555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772573393055714,0.0,0.0,0.11523740399493974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464726362003802,0.0832609282210634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135315610555382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858242409102085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653033536040652,0.0,0.0,0.4120280678105565,0.0,0.15957573487113966,0.07695403849466301,0.0,0.095344507736792,0.07003019099469336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153875332815129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708369943617484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531427257603541,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ITS_MY_ANUS,2019/04/03,"How in the WORLD do you all use things such as ""To-Do"" lists on a daily basis?! How do you organize your life? I've tried: - ""Traditional"" pen & paper lists, as that's what we were taught throughout school, except I lose lists all the time - Various mobile and desktop apps, where I end up over-using the solution and I'm left with a huge, clutter-y mess, in which there's a million things I need to do when only a dozen them are critical - Not doing anything and forgetting everything I need to do And no matter method I try, I can never seem to remain consistent in any realm of my life, and it's absolutely eating me alive !! ",4.732659999999999,5.213509576000003,5.79655,81.33402500000003,69.24,9.13,26.825,9.188382445141503,1.9935,487,14,99,9,8,162,89,125,0.092,0.8370000000000001,0.07200000000000001,-0.5223,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,1,3,1,1,6,2,0,0,7,0,8,3,0,3,3,20,14,10,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,7,1,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,2,0,13,0,13,12,3,13,0,1,0,0,5,9,0,1,4,66,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378695256100763,0.0,0.1492934902469882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806612157447625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246423652476849,0.0,0.0,0.1944456645254488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973067597015937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23852887423027005,0.0,0.31013261718879265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456070670078398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255695564685163,0.16932137801875302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669686781694345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22218435809222625,0.0,0.1998593132082698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917028225794357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12801447786171893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981040258362211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640773987421276,0.189610499186097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,xanif,2019/04/03,"[TW:Suicide]Seeing a new therapist. How much do I need to dance around my suicidal ideation? I've been on medication for more than a decade at this point but I've been resistant to seeing a therapist. Up until now I've felt like I've had this under control but my medication is being adjusted and some new pressure in my life has put me in a bad place. In previous years I have had minor suicidal ideation but recently it's gotten really bad. I need to talk to someone about it, but I don't want to be involuntarily committed, so I'm trying to make sure I phrase my concerns in such a way that I'm not going to get 302'd. I have a plan, but I don't have, at the moment, the means to execute it (by design). However I could get everything into place in under 24 hours if I decided to. Is mentioning that going to land me in a psych ward?",3.7277713178294576,4.594630575581399,5.9162790697674446,78.17503875968997,71.73255813953489,10.151937984496122,28.286821705426355,10.317481424215053,2.8832193798449617,657,24,136,19,12,232,101,172,0.136,0.8109999999999999,0.052000000000000005,-0.9446,1,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,0,2,6,5,0,1,9,0,16,3,0,3,2,24,30,10,2,5,7,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,4,1,0,4,3,3,0,0,6,2,15,2,29,21,3,31,0,0,1,0,2,18,0,2,9,91,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120524820602208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24612317131211295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16530651174838132,0.1176761411613167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324614982650206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415141699572984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15400674433210773,0.0,0.16752630867780927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451460308458306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410345594801164,0.07200560760119054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09838164481238347,0.0,0.0,0.16054712524239387,0.0,0.29695282078285684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834604876911004,0.21857047018825254,0.0,0.28469363377822937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079750820386087,0.0,0.13932789843699772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14816415837532734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944195770678238,0.0,0.14552640505034956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174479721386168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488011787119185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224338563825813,0.0,0.13891004836333587,0.0,0.0,0.11846369975133868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34225421293791586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006577058186138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08693238659149409,0.11698855720210673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491208492259068 bipolarreddit,eiligh,2019/04/03,"University Advice/Info Hey there. I was diagnosed with BP1 last August following a psychotic episode and hospitalization following. I was supposed to be starting my last year at university then, but have taken a health leave to focus on getting better/stable and finding the right medications without the added stress of school. I’ve been in /some/ contact with my counselor, and the school’s health leave advisor. One of my next steps is filing the necessary documents for accommodations. That being said, I want ask about two things: do you have any advice/what was your experience studying and managing your diagnosis? Second, more specifically, were there any accommodations you were able to receive, what were they/any recommendations on any? Thanks so much in advance for any responses. Even though I still have some time before returning, I’m pretty nervous about it. I’ve already had a few semesters prior to being diagnosed where I was clearly severely depressed and totally failed most of the classes I was in, so I’d like to avoid any repeats of that. TL;DR going back to school soon with new diagnosis, looking to hear your experience with school and/or any advice you can offer. Thank you!!",7.216057692307693,9.569858490384616,7.06653846153846,67.55346153846155,65.05769230769229,10.007692307692311,34.153846153846146,10.270032843473604,4.056965384615385,978,44,147,25,16,310,131,208,0.097,0.795,0.108,0.5603,0,1,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,7,0,2,12,8,0,3,8,0,19,5,0,0,2,19,33,10,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,5,9,0,1,1,0,0,6,1,5,0,3,12,3,16,3,26,18,7,29,0,2,1,0,14,8,0,3,16,101,21,7,0.1066709362764124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10423760436628796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771403072188573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5077792619916001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972292590051854,0.0,0.0,0.08202336559261772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076911008553136,0.0,0.0,0.0943417746147975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187552110841993,0.2165375098299798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045514737301024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20868928845241871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749530324969062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05573116152389211,0.0,0.06062355131857632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267724342079317,0.12022589779102308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17390210049097254,0.0,0.2258982388988394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05211403130754075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957672071038332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10745974594681756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841541187839904,0.0,0.0,0.10302345496443584,0.11344575088535193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07228298708642641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852269108693938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910963967399625,0.10146848779748467,0.0,0.0,0.431826729604887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050779531748684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550223772874062,0.0,0.08518754750280866,0.0,0.12219119710115732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964165328621004,0.0,0.0,0.07086743018983452,0.0,0.10480365329364963,0.0,0.06220068076772214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10420200484879392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291728196448762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282697600922364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06869258561798562 bipolarreddit,Papakotsos,2019/04/03,"Reality is more than what it seems. I feel like I know what's up but there's a law I can't break The law is to play along no matter what everyone will say otherwise they'll keep you feeling like you are right but reminding you that you can't do nothing about it Theyll log on to reddit and tell you to get help You tell them I don't need help I can manage All Im waiting for is the one who is ready and that one is not apart from me this is really personal If it touched someone please respond but not in a critical, assertive way this is a poem and im high if you seem to understand then tell me your story",0.6306371986222707,2.434820559701496,2.695671641791048,94.09508036739382,82.2089552238806,6.5111366245694615,20.755453501722158,7.61054688173877,0.5524013777267509,481,14,115,8,13,162,84,134,0.021,0.782,0.197,0.968,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,8,3,0,2,3,0,0,5,0,16,0,0,0,1,24,26,9,0,3,7,0,3,2,0,3,0,1,0,1,11,4,0,2,6,1,0,0,6,0,0,2,0,4,18,3,12,23,2,9,0,0,0,0,20,6,0,4,3,77,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16497837112240196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17459817972702893,0.2466882166372437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09020463008456192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314527791168249,0.1824185135094462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3729920651615272,0.0,0.0,0.15346287812108253,0.0,0.0,0.09488616635730183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16870012351336666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802081166149054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16566624501544522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339897440947111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507548819394287,0.0,0.18952233136188454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060662387326592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744563984086398,0.0,0.13730145320666995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31435557762299604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462892405957944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4527218244516459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17973898489606782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704477128333856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,curious_one13,2019/04/03,"Lithium poisoning after fasting???? Okay so I’m 23 and I’ve been on lithium for 2 years now. I had lithium toxicity last year after a manic episode (I have bipolar 1) my psychiatrist at the time did not take into account my very small body weight 80 pounds, and increased my lithium to a toxic amount. Within 3 days of being on the high dose of lithium I was hospitalized with lithium poisoning. I did not even realize I had lithium poisoning. I developed a tremor and had an urgency to urinate but that was it. No other symptoms. Since then I have been very careful with lithium. However I just ended a fast of 5 days. I had been taking my lithium 300 mg twice a day like directed with no issues. Last night I took my 2nd dose for the day and got sick a few hours later. I feel very odd I guess?? I feel nauseous and I have a slight tremor. Could it be lithium poisoning??! Any other symptoms I should watch out for??? How long do I have until this is serious, serious??? Should I just go by and get my levels checked just in case??? Any advice??? ",1.2802439024390253,3.82357312195122,3.2645853658536588,86.26224390243904,86.07317073170731,6.011707317073171,25.27317073170732,7.404127859558343,1.5435034146341464,810,35,156,14,25,272,120,205,0.126,0.831,0.044,-0.9451,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,0,0,0,0,7,9,4,0,11,1,22,13,2,1,0,25,33,11,0,3,6,0,3,1,0,2,10,0,0,0,6,11,1,0,3,0,2,3,4,6,0,1,13,4,23,3,22,15,3,34,0,0,1,0,0,10,0,1,22,105,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14917850479279093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076293498033076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957189059509006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15564800375021998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218873393191599,0.0,0.0,0.3938147106901812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352122816296254,0.0,0.0,0.1008311118042216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15437991751696498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975904086671992,0.0,0.08676073088896817,0.0,0.1220969004246621,0.0,0.16817323774714674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16129466591910893,0.0,0.0,0.1503402757597448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15933835993065212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24887808473041945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458242461007622,0.0,0.0,0.13510012889682155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432619516685382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262827080166476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3173463412265505,0.2295640576084073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890178224109635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696119226652219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3778837930162737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858998991393971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196617281740908 bipolarreddit,TimeTravelJulie,2019/04/03,Have Latuda side effects pushed anyone into a hypomanic state? So I’ve been on Latuda for 2 weeks no problems. I went from 20mg to 30mg. Been at 30 for 5 days then suddenly I have shortness of breath. It started about an hour after I took the dose. It really freaked me out—I think it pushed me into a hypomanic state. I haven’t slept all night and I just want to get up and get some writing work done. I’m calling my Doc when the office opens in about 15 min. ,0.7720408163265304,2.7795384489795936,2.8013877551020414,92.43289795918369,82.87755102040815,5.5526530612244915,20.004081632653055,6.742157984588678,0.17407020408163287,360,10,81,4,10,121,71,98,0.084,0.901,0.015,-0.7264,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,7,2,0,0,5,0,6,3,2,1,1,13,15,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,0,0,4,2,2,0,0,6,0,8,0,15,9,2,25,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,1,10,46,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20364062776249772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29738692039806275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18782464387516531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980379504996249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043200376209803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868111118061619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27330746488211594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786757708335105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18657474625575016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20614000496139226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866137766527793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235765257803172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17177992608528653,0.0,0.23361383922404344,0.0,0.0,0.2699808706465535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21202498932024916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,robertdoleson,2019/04/03,"I keep convincing myself that I don't have bipolar. Hi reddit. To preface, I'm 21, got diagnosed with BP1 in November of 2017, have been medicated since February 2018, and started going to a talk therapist last June. Despite having experienced detrimental manic episodes within the past year (severing relationships, abruptly quitting a job I needed, etc) I can't help but think that I don't *actually* have bipolar. It's probably because the meds are working and helping, but regardless of that fact I can't shake it and start to convince myself that I don't really need them. In therapy I've learned a bunch about my habits and childhood issues, but we don't really discuss things through the lens of having bipolar specifically. My mind keeps coming to the conclusion that all of my actions in the past have come from a sound mind, and that I'm using mental illness as a scapegoat of some sort.. or something. Sorry. This is a rambling post. But does anyone else struggle with this or something similar? TL;DR I have bipolar but keep thinking that I don't, wat do now",6.684435767278407,7.885274015228433,7.031675126903554,71.63963295587664,65.19289340101523,9.91940648184303,36.98125732135884,10.035473477838034,4.048723076923077,859,43,139,19,13,279,121,197,0.071,0.88,0.049,-0.6372,1,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,1,3,2,4,0,2,11,0,18,7,0,1,2,34,34,13,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,12,10,0,3,4,0,0,5,7,2,0,0,2,2,16,2,19,32,4,20,0,0,0,0,8,4,0,4,10,93,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.12911203709790242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09251176570274694,0.13556362197644822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806528009699681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279406311771635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13428829014967272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578229050331525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052508518008848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755669661804266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07519282045650845,0.0,0.10581757689059727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17736448661716986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13809358873927455,0.13129376419948746,0.35280023030961954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10784743828773828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14696267070761346,0.13328485724664435,0.13333381101735714,0.0,0.2671836529037893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196207153988786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526030080992961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12671303304412912,0.0,0.1426487608673684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14072422528888062,0.0,0.0,0.16951783542714133,0.0,0.0,0.14204764306452974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14946866060848665,0.0,0.10944528582648033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20371198136204893,0.0,0.1481062700402015,0.18729441222497933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13831545763121778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634293534333747,0.0,0.0,0.15130398822720836,0.15361801848937426,0.08789854501390028,0.16955329761349305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427031696464765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632069175311464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852010339995342 bipolarreddit,LowPhotojournalist6,2019/04/03,"Can someone help me? Venlafaxin + Lithium Hi! I have a major depression disorder, and I'm taking antidepressant meds for 4 years (3 years of Escitalopram (Lexapro) and, since last year, a growing dose of Venlafaxin (Venlift)). Sadly, the antidepressants done nothing about my mood, so my psychiatrist considered the possibility of me suffering from bipolar II disorder. She prescribed me 300mg of Lithium, sticking with the venlafaxin. Has anyone had a similar experience? What should I expect? The Li will stabilize my mood and finally the venlafaxin (Now in 225mg) will do its job properly? &#x200B; Thanks in advance! ",6.115895851721093,9.582355417475732,6.964730803177407,61.80663724624893,72.49514563106796,11.124095322153575,39.46072374227714,10.637119530657019,6.004774757281552,500,31,68,19,11,165,76,103,0.152,0.7809999999999999,0.067,-0.8819,1,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,8,0,9,2,0,0,0,6,12,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,2,0,9,1,10,7,1,10,0,3,0,0,3,2,0,0,6,43,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21295443517471047,0.23882145596705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742754954132447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692823384367342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4505109853770288,0.0,0.0,0.20113189424681646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19225692725179014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21530342829364196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317387393176138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19503876233394896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16020891024624556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21831514679214686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885884658555062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215728853159304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16258253559132355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16653038434326686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14777599860183271,0.0,0.0,0.1809505382358306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23882145596705,0.3797020594731352 bipolarreddit,soykitsch,2019/04/03,"I don’t care to improve any aspect of my life. Can’t solve any kind of problem. I feel hopeless, nothing is interesting. But still go every day to class at university and other tasks. Seems like I am going by routine, not questioning anything at all and making no effort at all. I want to have a boyfriend but can’t think of looking for one and I’m not responsive. For example, it’s been a month since the bathroom’s lighting stopped working. I don’t care to fix it, I haven’t even called anyone to fix it. Is this depression? I’m 30 years old and I think I’m too old now and it’s worthless to try having a better life. So, yes it is depression, a new kind of depression I’ve never experienced. ",1.6937162837162845,3.7939972377622375,3.6593056943056936,87.01994755244756,80.11888111888112,6.603196803196802,25.5989010989011,7.7094869923839395,1.4620593406593403,547,22,113,9,14,185,86,143,0.218,0.644,0.138,-0.9489,0,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,3,5,13,0,0,5,1,12,2,0,1,3,21,26,8,0,2,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,5,0,0,2,9,6,0,1,1,4,8,7,16,25,2,15,0,5,1,0,2,3,0,2,11,67,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20771610598971016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678868166777178,0.0,0.12567943912285226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13507261191407374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15594902413867018,0.0,0.3114260799322935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849481571791446,0.0,0.3946247563526671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10087324324054868,0.0,0.1286771712956463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07722221193683518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17359396626873747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180786070478039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157479856498734,0.07461358825210447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825030780321148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194494265297473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190342175061535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779072632263216,0.14750249512770594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654349665458646,0.0,0.3205178244142535,0.0,0.103490229037768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14613693989771293,0.0,0.0,0.17108664937511506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13903485750356465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263354741894767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219661660037695,0.12768471215311755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19571967940539103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10369006599704196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008100223021052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118542178400463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834971831340904 bipolarreddit,Batmans_Black_Top,2019/04/04,"Lamictal making me hypomanic I've been taking lamictal for bipolar depression and it's working great in that aspect but I can't sleep now. I have night sweats and I can't stay asleep for more than 2 hours at a time at most. After awakening from about 5 to 6 hours of disturbed sleep I still feel amazing and energized. And in addition to that I have a slightly raised anxiety level which leaves me randomly sweaty all over sometimes during the day. &#x200B; Would Tegretol, lithium or gabapentin be a good medication to mention to my psych when I visit them next? I mean I'm just fishing for options because I don't want to take APs but I still obviously need something for the manic side of things. I should mention I have a similar experience on anti depressants because they make me unable to sleep without pills so I'm starting to think I will need something for mania and depression.",5.8117857142857146,7.355178511904764,6.165238095238099,75.79642857142859,67.45238095238095,9.171428571428573,34.83333333333333,9.516144504307137,3.5014547619047622,722,35,123,15,12,232,113,168,0.12,0.784,0.096,-0.2653,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,1,7,8,0,1,6,0,11,8,5,2,2,26,24,10,0,5,5,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,1,18,4,25,19,3,22,0,3,0,0,5,8,0,4,12,82,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503518688770452,0.16861471893329738,0.0,0.0,0.10615488002844284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16917976759230954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949197463338578,0.0,0.35855439119112553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573884147164986,0.0,0.0,0.07016377645273618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638953654360637,0.0,0.1529889526015473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273311235552131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14693214714566274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852534908645476,0.0,0.0,0.15115581497005792,0.0,0.13979118456752568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20578504597832584,0.0,0.0,0.14757820019660514,0.13022159504586345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4165957800163904,0.0,0.0,0.21365622302090495,0.13724217826110435,0.0,0.09821861345943518,0.14790507527855135,0.221635889251284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086680894598782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921893303041704,0.08891503810091357,0.0,0.0,0.08091501397862645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184721914322764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13376455206715118,0.0,0.1010226058434736,0.0,0.0,0.09857470699443548,0.0,0.16861471893329738,0.0 bipolarreddit,somepainwillast,2019/04/04,"Positive experiences with mood stabilizer? Hi everyone. So, I had an issue on Friday evening. I had what my husband thought was a seizure but the emergency room physician said was a dystonic reaction likely to my medication (seroquel 100mg) which I’ve been on for about two years at varying doses. Aside from that I’ve been having odd neurological symptoms for about the same amount of time that I’m having investigated by a neurologist currently. So, I’m seeing a new psychiatrist and at the request of the treating doctor Friday they have come to the decision to taper me off of seroquel, and add a mood stabilizer. I’ve never tried a mood stabilizer. This is the plan so far. She also affirmed my bipolar diagnosis made by the last psychiatrist I saw and also suspects I suffer from PMDD. But, that’s another story. Week 1 50mg of seroquel nightly 450mg of depakote Week 2 25mg of seroquel nightly 900mg of depakote Week 3 Stop seroquel (Start 1/2 tablet of trazodone for sleep as needed) Just wanted to hear positive experiences with depakote. I’m trying to go into this win a positive attitude instead of being fearful. ",6.086939102564106,7.761577533653848,7.404538461538461,66.67379487179487,66.93269230769229,9.96974358974359,36.94358974358975,10.203070172399654,4.328122051282051,909,48,143,23,15,310,126,208,0.101,0.813,0.087,-0.2382,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,1,2,10,8,0,1,15,0,11,8,1,1,1,20,25,11,0,2,3,1,0,1,0,0,7,2,1,0,7,8,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,2,0,1,10,4,10,3,32,14,2,23,0,1,2,0,7,8,0,0,14,91,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590153669644287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16981387953746005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950162851880998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16575798629633834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696341399120557,0.0,0.0,0.15474577642267576,0.0,0.3168273658997024,0.0,0.18223360639728006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920373068411186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18252424354181185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169028930188078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320071212843833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911834569001999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532366597955941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16314296004868492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200804673002888,0.1249022815091552,0.15640788324270374,0.0,0.3039495880054028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15404716719820016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904952225000435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620623620531536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11462579261505347,0.0,0.0,0.13539361170150022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683232856795134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856656369397884,0.0944316691620656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199006019776449,0.0,0.15819713106759967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09551959691942892,0.0,0.3897085113379652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428753253020123 bipolarreddit,wenca7590,2019/04/04,"I was recently diagnosed with bipolar and it's making me question my own identity I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder three weeks ago. I am going through a major depressive episode and went to see a psychologist my mother recommended. My anxiety is slowly killing me and forcing everyone that I care about away from me. The meds aren't doing their job and I'm just really looking for some support and reassurance that I'm not all alone and absolutely insane. I prided myself in my abilities in the arts and my motivation and commitment when school started, and always attributed my falling grades to the lack of motivation as the year dragged on. After being diagnosed I'm just not sure exactly of who I am anymore. I'm afraid people are going to look at all my past, recent, and future achievements with ""oh its due to mania"", but I feel like I need that validation to keep doing what I do. It has always been a way for me to express myself. My mom and grandma also have bipolar. My mom is extremely unstable and controlling, and the only thing holding her back from completely grabbing my skin and stepping into it herself is the fact that I wasn't bipolar like her. Now that I am, she has been forcing her past feelings of when she was young onto me. She's pushing onto me her experiences, trying to relive her life through me, and its making me question my own identity and whether or not I'll just end up like this nightmare that is my mother. My mother is also only taking me to her psychiatrist and doctors. I should trust them, as they are reputable institutions in the area, but I don't because of their affiliation with my mother. She is the only person I know who has this, so I decided to make an account and find some people to help me go through this process.",7.331406613879834,7.309133781710916,8.041577394814473,69.18721006054963,63.69026548672566,10.912653314702688,37.31113181183047,10.5429385540328,4.1158991150442485,1428,66,243,32,19,479,172,339,0.056,0.847,0.097,0.9325,1,1,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,4,5,12,12,1,1,12,0,28,10,1,7,6,60,51,29,1,3,10,6,4,3,0,1,9,0,0,1,18,23,0,3,9,1,1,7,6,3,0,1,7,7,56,9,39,42,8,37,0,1,3,0,29,11,0,5,21,196,74,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401981774434652,0.0,0.0,0.10985087908907733,0.0,0.16963955333153585,0.17650839275208652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08113908503453597,0.0,0.10518752619952924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996511295195192,0.08155708654418366,0.0,0.06465596091822362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10813987035437346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120665530590593,0.0,0.11896040375374595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135323541278546,0.32295983531651984,0.0,0.0,0.12155915520559382,0.10856155403438804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939417034169708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013492160713752,0.0,0.1037514751814199,0.0,0.0,0.107258839582643,0.0757725306660981,0.0,0.0,0.09694107072219543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18083677202645354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109282738531696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10525269283641453,0.09427503913279192,0.11734470198914787,0.0,0.05829029897013464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491652337680542,0.15545333445441786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17813500605682098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212396718043142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178137966621568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484430215724216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864551464801936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420005930622915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20250121537099888,0.14706359860067322,0.09261146779148396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23763312419835125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06794766214257278,0.0,0.3141778212821724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734297996681844,0.08451970849723874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07507302940122998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036078640194935,0.0999645764947709,0.0,0.07974733639255555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046456939919102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201086239401883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418909728440926,0.08507857862856615,0.0,0.0,0.09832289391675528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830208818807629 bipolarreddit,tiravalo23,2019/04/04,"Unbearable, mind boggling irritability I had my meds down to a science. Topamax, Seroquel, Buspar, Sertraline, Gabapentin, and a little Klonopin for the bad days. And then something happened. I developed an allergy to Seroquel. A bad one. I had been fighting a rash for weeks without nailing down the cause...took two Seroquel and 45 minutes later I went into shock. If my husband had not hit me with the epipen I would have been dead almost immediately. &#x200B; I had to give up ALL my meds. We are slowly reintroducing ( I take 1 sertraline a day and the occasional klonopin) because this is the 7th time I have developed a reaction after years of taking a medication. I realize not dying is super important......but. &#x200B; I can live with mood swings, fatigue, headaches, depression, anxiety- and more. But this irritability is not okay. I quit smoking 4 yers ago. It feels like that only worse. I wan't everyone around me to sit down and shut up. People at work drive me crazy. My kid drives me crazy. My husband drives me crazy. I spend my entire day 5 seconds from screaming, crying, or throwing something. &#x200B; Does anyone else deal with this pervasive irrational bitchiness???? NOTE: For those of you that will ask - I have an appointment with my Pych tomorrow, just looking for some feedback from folks that may have felt the same thing.",4.38150290885585,7.475712147058829,4.5396638655462205,78.81947640594703,76.68907563025209,7.527084680025857,31.422753716871362,8.502166056373571,3.0230861021331603,1073,53,174,23,26,334,152,238,0.223,0.767,0.01,-0.9936,0,0,2,0,3,0,63.0,1,1,0,3,2,11,1,0,15,1,18,3,1,0,1,31,28,10,2,2,8,2,2,1,0,3,2,1,0,1,9,13,0,0,3,0,1,5,4,7,0,3,8,4,28,3,26,16,4,27,0,2,1,0,9,10,0,5,12,117,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651797764140736,0.0,0.10903033404264097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35392320344407685,0.3969133334917017,0.0,0.0,0.08329499655596279,0.0,0.0,0.07613334206952338,0.11156323226257513,0.0,0.09692872131393304,0.10179066195437947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18182507641426976,0.06637390648062662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196025749694782,0.21066107512561585,0.11225332186800747,0.09378054270448356,0.0,0.11300309169172483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952840177843464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909575560833667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404212224012056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055054383900373684,0.07778584979338646,0.10454450358742552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445024380613634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628464563549248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05319460591436825,0.10912910801219416,0.09614545249107218,0.0,0.09143407711390747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418883521558649,0.10968790350463564,0.0,0.0,0.10994052641514436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378176118605992,0.08281022870414312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07548558092401852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581019451960255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16764650250575344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16373253672598825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723368529842898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349040014806219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12097272824965033,0.0,0.0,0.10636261375958124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873391647297512,0.0,0.0,0.1009353889889506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495907395644864,0.0,0.07926793006173541,0.0,0.11096081214936286,0.0773471730871588,0.0,0.3969133334917017,0.07011691342057069 bipolarreddit,brainoffthechain,2019/04/04,"How can you explain your depressed, but there is no real reason? I have been in an ongoing depression for almost 2 years. Yes I have had a few manic episodes but extremely short lived. I have BP1 and anxiety and several other things. I have no motivation to do anything. I have these ideas and know what to do, but I just can’t do it. When I start it’s like being in a hole with stuff constantly falling on me and I become so overwhelmed I just quit. I know people say it’s laziness, and some of could be. But I know it’s something that isn’t right. It is starting to affect my relationship with my husband and I myself. I am at a point where I just don’t have any reason to do anything. I have had a chance at several interviews but when the time approaches I can’t go thru with it. It’s like I’m terrified of having some kind of freak out at work and that can’t happen again. I have lost all motivation and I take my medication religiously. I have been stable for several years, my last hospital stay was in 2007. My medication has stayed the same, but we went out of the country for 6 weeks and I have never been the same. Has anyone else just had that feeling that you know something isn’t right but also terrified of talking to a psychiatrist because of medication changes. It took years to get my combo right. I have had so many reactions to most meds the thought of that just scares the hell out of me. I don’t know why I felt like sharing but at least I know that everyone on here has had the experience of all the mood swings and manic and depression, it’s like you can understand me. I feel like my life has become a roller coaster ride and I am starting to wonder will this ever end??",2.6093507751938,4.471702938953492,4.146534883720928,85.75737984496125,76.29651162790697,7.609922480620155,25.129457364341093,8.447377352677275,1.634174341085271,1337,47,278,26,30,445,161,344,0.139,0.754,0.106,-0.9503,0,0,2,0,0,0,28.0,1,4,0,5,16,16,1,2,15,1,46,4,0,6,4,64,70,26,0,1,13,1,3,5,0,1,4,1,0,0,21,19,0,0,18,1,0,6,10,8,0,0,14,4,42,7,36,52,9,42,1,5,0,0,12,18,1,5,21,208,63,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202104048150224,0.0,0.0,0.07348957401272431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0624927509960416,0.0,0.07030054816657867,0.0,0.0,0.06425614865888354,0.09415879353599564,0.15124592976561285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056019235277959205,0.20298486278020147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721428042796612,0.0,0.0,0.09930743746038978,0.0,0.07337185376593564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374508853621825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676770894944293,0.0,0.08139299627428899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312561846252596,0.0,0.08781101540691598,0.0,0.08989238139967293,0.0,0.0,0.09293123301996148,0.06565085666825393,0.08823502267703423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048012112789341616,0.0,0.052226881766139314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126374509964898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10373992917203577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956960322970375,0.3030233803092569,0.07490788846646035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490919459939712,0.2244798673334905,0.0,0.08114626680253177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031585280861624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316859705520296,0.0,0.0,0.10207626180909184,0.27772807716383746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07087622305116567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06370944158771624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08687186789733907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774320781124207,0.0,0.10459830177827144,0.0,0.1889697533895066,0.0,0.09866241769426558,0.0,0.2354372502952407,0.0,0.07307976155236579,0.09200439813286576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114505620862218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14149278482106475,0.0,0.0,0.19513438377518408,0.19589882002438866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519947233406796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06909470892893296,0.07386290176537663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06105193142092453,0.0,0.0,0.07295553239856889,0.05358557078185845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10210035969499263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566746637486293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07371380527985727,0.0,0.0,0.08518894854101668,0.08292227076835336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09965780188424013,0.06690172478278468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17753494158209873 bipolarreddit,zelliebear,2019/04/04,"Tired on Abilify so i was officially diagnosed 2 days ago as bipolar and my doctor has prescribed me 15mgs of abilify. im about 5’9 and 110lbs and i feel like im a zombie. today is day 2 of the meds, and im exhausted. yesterday i woke up feeling almost like i was hungover i felt nauseous, dizzy, and hot. today i was a bit dizzy when waking up and after about 3 hours of jitteryness i just feel exhausted. im at work in the back ready to pass out sleeping at any moment. does this go away? will this tiredness adjust as i adjust to the meds?",0.7084065934065933,3.0243940714285737,3.15214285714286,87.8082417582418,85.96428571428572,6.303296703296704,22.008241758241766,7.61054688173877,1.144599450549451,424,15,87,8,13,146,71,112,0.113,0.8029999999999999,0.084,-0.4696,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,5,0,6,8,2,0,0,15,12,10,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,1,6,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,6,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,5,5,10,2,18,6,1,21,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,1,13,51,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314797472240916,0.0,0.1485244625922901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086500010252172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935471940020258,0.11405154126463316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193074038863092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19131264858156824,0.0,0.0,0.15054513161757885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181528772484973,0.12979880928842716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22499030716409693,0.10596226856765376,0.14241372686455736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429560790226226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14606867424364714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6408589096149404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449266449674509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32950772669589296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14843052014690036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17047593221781918,0.2811864856310758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798120373196388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,connie1122,2019/04/04,"Documentary on Bi Polar and Families Do you hear voices? Do you have intrusive thoughts? Do you experience paranoia and/or severe anxiety? Do you have unexplainable visions? And, do you feel misunderstood and alone? If you or someone you know are experiencing these sensations, we’d love to hear your story. We’re looking for brave individuals to share their voice in a new documentary series. Email us at [fightstigmanow@gmail.com](mailto:fightstigmanow@gmail.com) including a brief description of your situation.",9.028037518037516,13.42375064935066,8.434978354978355,49.82643578643579,68.48051948051948,11.214430014430015,34.529581529581534,10.504223727775694,5.443021356421356,428,20,53,15,9,135,58,77,0.122,0.733,0.145,0.6072,0,1,0,0,2,0,20.0,2,9,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,9,2,0,0,0,8,16,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,7,12,3,7,14,0,5,0,0,1,2,17,3,0,2,1,35,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25171501640141475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18592410265285528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377386917020933,0.2291154565703288,0.0,0.12288777654136325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.54784503529637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356783016195026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20409147538500333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21935210718815054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347284959329271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274564792578849,0.0,0.0,0.273185920312532,0.0,0.0,0.20592608166760548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19294574862523955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29234588685790985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,aha98,2019/04/04,"I’m aware I might be manic right now And obviously trying to convince myself that I’m not manic but having an spiritual awakening? I wrote a lot of bullshit about feeling connected to the universe on my journal half an hour ago and just read through it and it’s clear that I’m being way too philosophical and believe shit I normally would not, yet questioning my sanity at the same time. I also ordered a tarot deck online and it’s arriving today. I am Christian so this does not make sense at all! I’ve also been gettin really into meditating and trying to align my chakras (but all the times my mom would tell me to do that before I would sceptically tell her that It is not true) why now? I also ordered a 23andme test to see where my ancestors were from cause I want to practice the magic they used to practice? Make no sense but???? Like I know this isn’t me and I might be manic but!??? I kinda want to believe I’m just happy and spiritual because I had the most awful depressive episode last month. Then again, I also stopped taking my Lamictal and now I’m titrating back up so yeah I might actually be manic. But I’ve been sleeping just fine? I mean, my sleep pattens are a mess but overall I’ve been getting at least 5 hours of sleep every night! Plus it’s not like I’m euphoric all the time? I suddenly get this waves of euphoria and need to dance? At last happy? I also have a atrong desire to go vegan to feel more connected to nature and at the same time to do keto so that I can fast easily and feel more connected to myself! I’m making no sense and I know that! But I keep questioning whether I’m actually manic or happy or just faking it I’m honestly confused but happy? 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Also my pdoc. It was a horrible and abusive place with so many unexplainable micro aggressions and condescending actions to name or number. They have about a 60% turnover rate. And they like that number. It was a well paying job and I shouldn’t have quit but I was on the brink of believing them that I am worthless. I tried to overdose around January 7th but luckily couldn’t find the right meds in the house that night. My wife doesn’t know about that. Since I quit I was hoping to snap out of it. But when you fucked up head is chemical I guess environment doesn’t really do a lot. Despite your best efforts. I have slipped into depression like never before. I can’t get a new job and I realize just how immature it was to quit the one before. I’ve never quit anything. My wife is away on a conference cause she is badass and so smart. She is in DC with her people from grad school presenting this week. They are all in an Airbnb that I picked out for them. She says it’s beautiful. I know that she is true and that she lives me. Cognitively I know this but when she fails to call me and gets too busy my heart crushes and I can hear the voices that tell me I have no value to her or the family. I can’t focus on the right things. I don’t know how to snap out. Be a man. Take better care of my kids. Be there for her. Not be so selfish and get a fucking job again. Just so frustrating. All the meds do is keep me from manic. I miss manic. ",1.1601624649859943,3.4237468920634915,2.745140056022411,91.88275210084036,83.25396825396825,6.3725490196078445,20.37581699346405,7.618777277803332,0.6853604108309992,1201,35,262,21,34,393,163,315,0.157,0.723,0.119,-0.9332,4,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,2,5,9,18,19,4,1,17,0,32,4,2,4,5,49,48,26,0,3,9,3,0,2,0,1,0,3,0,2,16,18,0,1,6,0,1,2,11,10,1,1,7,3,47,9,33,36,4,29,0,4,0,2,26,18,2,5,11,186,63,8,0.0,0.1162962139617688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07849356595059165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508739556607924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807722219260663,0.08737770022144903,0.0,0.0,0.09221873499872314,0.0,0.0,0.059833651206508,0.0,0.16704332493482935,0.11058573135257606,0.10300636740295196,0.08680906806874196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022601369639424,0.0,0.10007435033692087,0.10083100001044068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08453973224816769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253067607872588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971080362587898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814832304036354,0.15384394285663885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812748706119184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007341258645358,0.0,0.11062647684528017,0.1163127367836319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748887984949096,0.0,0.113256317715976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3896100419687505,0.08724361572919516,0.0,0.0,0.21577106690678385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590598670810398,0.0,0.08667161200044507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834468587760803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951255692692468,0.0,0.0,0.21805351020035904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15140453766767673,0.0947975607963804,0.0,0.09211070104204952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665115615199948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804749275148762,0.0,0.10254983989585027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5219932916760216,0.0,0.0,0.06287984370193543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676456339242141,0.0,0.07805584887552795,0.0,0.09933689533939803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119384546578368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07379944930979035,0.0,0.08579075575857126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06520902957703358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06663999362739566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873306538967995,0.0,0.08825206248903446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,stressedandanxious22,2019/04/05,"someone be proud please!! thanks to my tax return i was able to pay $1,000 off my credit card that i racked up when manic last. progress is so satisfying!! ",2.120860215053764,4.286297000000005,2.9045161290322596,92.64344086021508,79.0,5.423655913978496,20.010752688172047,6.42735559955562,-0.010492473118279387,121,3,26,1,3,38,28,31,0.035,0.518,0.448,0.9498,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,3,4,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,14,5,3,0.4748504976367732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3870665330256335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5212432514769809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4023392856995298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4371785400475667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ConvolutedThoughts,2019/04/05,"How the hell do you clean/organize?! I can not for the life of me get my room in order. I have all these plans for it for after I get it cleaned and get rid of a bunch of clutter and clothes (need summer clothes and more professional ones for a new job in the summer).... I refuae to buy more clothes before going through and donating at least half of what I have. But I cant freaking get myself to do anything! I keep it decent (no food or trash), but the clutter and clothes is overwhelming. I leave early and get home late because of my insane class/internship/work schedule and by the time I get home, my vyvanse wore off (I have bipolar 2 and ADHD, just started vyvanse this month...). How the hell do you get yourself to do these things when youre either depressed or just not hypomanic... and I even keep common areas clean almost religiously (I have roommates). Ugh. ",4.410215686274507,5.526324041176473,4.92794117647059,84.964068627451,70.35294117647061,7.313725490196076,29.46078431372549,7.492282038375204,1.6965490196078434,677,26,134,7,12,216,100,170,0.132,0.8370000000000001,0.03,-0.9616,1,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,3,0,1,6,6,2,1,8,0,11,3,0,2,1,25,24,16,0,1,9,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,5,0,8,9,1,2,0,0,2,1,4,6,0,2,1,0,20,0,19,23,6,20,2,2,0,0,3,6,2,3,12,96,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002681631196189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16686527747578686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713001888136414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158182508832952,0.0,0.14179784680979976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14352626191251908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006374508625312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20150101112096705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6094354222262791,0.0,0.09470500520317177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33430578903027264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16536388110149952,0.2962334918351963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18797648954592247,0.17644705254792992,0.0,0.0,0.1177023288465802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13300997078785665,0.0,0.0,0.123560995761259,0.0,0.1609413606798375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291916291982695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11794821750669113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11070780577658353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716876803855126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12131546014992248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,cinemagical414,2019/04/05,"Recent experience with lamictal & painkillers Hello friends. I've been on lamictal for about 8 months. It was a godsend to me. Starting from a very low dose, it helped me feel more content and at-ease, and I went from having panic attacks every time I left the house to being able to go about and live my life. Here's the wrinkle: I initially spiraled into crippling depression and anxiety last year after tapering off of the opiate pain medication oxycodone. I was on on oxycodone after undergoing a surgical procedure to stabilize much of my cervical spine, which had become unstable as a result of a genetic condition I have. I was in a horrible place, and Lamictal is what finally got me out of it. I was about 9 months post-op last year and doing really well, feeling really great about my health and future, when a bunch of my pre-operative symptoms suddenly returned. Scans confirmed that my surgery had failed, and I had to go through a revision procedure -- a more complex procedure than I had before -- earlier this year. Currently, I am a bit more than 2 months post-op from the revision surgery. I was hoping to keep my pain meds low and get off of them quickly this time around, but the surgery was predictably much more painful, and I also developed an infection shortly after surgery that sent my pain levels sky-high -- unlike anything I had experienced before. So while I wanted to limit my use of oxycodone, I ended up on double the dose I took last year (60 mg total per day, vs. 30 mg total per day last year). I have spent the last month carefully tapering off of oxycodone. I am now down to 25% of what I was initially taking after surgery (i.e., I'm now down to 15 mg total per day), which is 50% of what I was taking last year. Everything seemed to be going smoothly, which I attributed in part to being on lamictal this time. Then about a week ago, just before the step-down to my current oxycodone dose, I started to feel the depression creep back in. Hoping to get ahead of it, I called my p-doc and we decided to increase my dose of lamictal a bit, from 125 mg to 150 mg. But instead of protecting me from decline, I feel like the increased dose accelerated the onset of symptoms. I am significantly more depressed and irritable, and I have started to become anxious and a bit agoraphobic again. Making matters much worse, some physical symptoms have flared up this week, including a very alarming sharp pain right at the base of where my surgery was performed. While these symptoms may be a normal part of the long healing process after a major surgical procedure, I am terrified that something got screwed up again. I took a little extra oxycodone this morning and it has helped the pain somewhat, but this is obviously not the direction I want to go in for the sake of my mental health. I guess I'm posting here because I feel frightened and a bit trapped. Last year, lamictal was like a miracle for me. I felt relief at a very low dose, and I continued to experience improvement as I increased the dose. I was hoping for the same result when I increased the dose last week, but I am only feeling more depressed and anxious. That said, there are a ton of other factors in play here, including my oxycodone taper, continued recovery from surgery 2 months ago, a flare-up of physical symptoms, fear about the state of my surgery and recovery, normal psychological distress resulting from my current ordeal (feeling isolated/cooped up, losing autonomy, feeling uncertain about my future, etc.), fear of the fear I experienced last year when things went south, etc. etc. Typing this out, it seems unreasonable to expect anything from a small increase in my lamictal dose one way or the other -- or at the very least, it seems impossible to parse out what is a result of lamictal versus the many other things going on. But I guess I'll still throw my inquires out there: 1. Has anyone experienced a marked increase in depression or anxiety upon increasing their lamictal dose, and if so, did things even out with time or further dosage increases? 2. Does anyone have experience with oxycodone / other opiate painkillers that impacted your mental health or interacted with your psych meds? For what it's worth, I also take Effexor XR 75 mg daily, Dexedrine SR 5 mg 2x/day, and Klonopin 0.5 mg at night to sleep.",10.302677899265102,8.300541286072779,9.828623767700305,65.15462233375158,58.97490589711418,13.274192507617853,43.09765190894425,11.926411293798804,5.195933672701202,3443,162,582,83,35,1117,330,797,0.146,0.772,0.081,-0.996,3,1,1,0,0,0,116.0,1,2,2,5,32,36,2,7,50,0,42,31,2,7,4,92,89,44,0,9,15,0,11,2,1,1,28,1,0,0,36,33,0,3,15,1,2,19,1,25,1,1,28,16,69,11,113,56,38,139,0,10,1,1,13,47,1,18,72,396,105,3,0.04726590755476978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379675037126517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07559705838969469,0.0,0.05121259108810547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231657981384151,0.10679404366238716,0.0,0.06609884309877016,0.0,0.07779162920249752,0.04207667867807152,0.0,0.053771793371514255,0.0,0.036344565359262115,0.0,0.0288128585390948,0.10440296280096917,0.12065941809156512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20640851714831865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04826377625869311,0.0,0.048190742859695136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12193040064742194,0.0,0.2035502845875521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04136271422050924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04186356482889843,0.0,0.15814194330590794,0.031218686164534562,0.0,0.039823565676770506,0.0,0.0424795499869142,0.13870538161542126,0.0,0.15956186011085313,0.19119250433047694,0.03376677380130242,0.04538268353669368,0.051777491386941286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036517522928662005,0.0,0.04938897173795053,0.0,0.13431152253321355,0.0,0.0756057281887546,0.05211082994244567,0.10413745195422942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15072434843171567,0.0,0.0,0.06336268302278293,0.04993902641001412,0.0,0.14083713333205394,0.0,0.054538511275980035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042012110371947874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3467522083840444,0.0,0.0,0.05135454685643637,0.0,0.03338530832488612,0.04618346987610116,0.04737285656933148,0.04173666232243091,0.04182884081460117,0.0,0.05287846040286801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03155036031859602,0.047920211582996884,0.0,0.0,0.10500353591446293,0.047615429235755735,0.09526583551021416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18863598233577808,0.0,0.10423764161334667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04435585235976302,0.09262110780255248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03202860221041414,0.035947852578768966,0.3017655487952399,0.05545635850682407,0.0,0.102368743705498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04938281335912476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580302180154705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06055950138463875,0.0,0.046669381508760384,0.0,0.0,0.04036482679524215,0.04496070186850616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908732116357075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047300042427932926,0.0,0.0,0.03638760483897521,0.0,0.0,0.1003651579306714,0.0,0.037746614829100966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24563687871088666,0.10661424049923957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942041062239416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024452319018416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502832486326258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04082256832153786,0.0,0.15599729527588216,0.05575731378648163,0.03751747737007292,0.11374158001452896,0.0,0.042497727299037516,0.08763193968027189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048167997837762336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24350155833296225 bipolarreddit,chaffinyo,2019/04/05,"Bipolar in the media So I just read this article [lost child](https://www.cnn.com/2019/04/05/us/timmothy-pitzen-investigation-friday/index.html) and I was mad / sad when I read that his brother claimed he was bipolar, but essentially should have had the self restraint to not do this. If my own experiences are anywhere close to normal, you are not rational when manic (assuming he was ). Thoughts ‽ opinions ‽ ",7.971435897435898,11.410072938461544,6.244230769230772,69.58993589743592,65.76923076923077,8.64102564102564,36.987179487179496,9.2995712137729,4.098179487179489,331,17,46,7,6,97,52,65,0.07,0.93,0.0,-0.4854,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,1,4,3,1,0,2,0,9,2,0,0,0,12,11,6,0,3,5,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,6,0,6,0,3,4,1,4,0,2,0,0,6,2,0,3,2,33,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3051473472902989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3405307090443229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056451561562419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.624069631307541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254322983898095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24765377037453534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3752379186880818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,vacinom1974,2019/04/05,"Drowning in debt After being on the wrong meds for almost two years I came to my senses when abilify was added to the mix. Lo and behold I had racked up a hefty amount of credit card debt. Apparently I was living off the cards while paying the Bill's with my meager disability check. So I've been to a lawyer who stated that because I have nothing and make so little I am judgement proof, can be sued but to no avail. I feel like crap about this, but what are cc companies doing giving $6000 and $4000 lines of credit to someone who only makes $10,000 a year? What are your stories and thoughts on this?",5.659616724738675,5.36551972357724,6.036840882694541,83.07804878048779,67.21138211382114,8.329384436701512,26.51451800232288,7.447530270364453,1.2467639953542395,478,11,98,4,7,154,91,123,0.098,0.809,0.093,0.2869,3,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,4,5,1,0,7,0,12,1,1,2,1,14,18,10,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,2,0,7,1,1,2,0,1,6,1,9,3,16,10,1,13,0,0,0,0,4,6,1,1,6,63,16,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24984407244951706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15209645320372595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853682286741133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615765695525616,0.17824703246094314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393487510610028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12189595758548412,0.2500704139628387,0.22031824087117316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3330941909319345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771447575180718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23940759680770585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18976044567402173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21140550102163672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19807977856808914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437309654364252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27279548404394044,0.0,0.32134718012941793 bipolarreddit,Chairo777,2019/04/06,"Can’t smoke weed anymore, sooo I smoked really heavily for about 8 months, starting in one manic episode, continuing through a depressive episode, through stability, then in another manic episode. During that episode it made me completely psychotic (while high) where I would hear voices, walk around my apartment building paranoid as fuck, and be 100% convinced I was going to die. This was every night for about 6 weeks. I had to leave a party early cuz I was hearing voices and then became convinced my Uber driver was an angel. The whole sha-bang. Anyway I stopped smoking because of the embarrassment from that party incident, and now I’m also in the depressive episode from that manic episode. I haven’t smoked in about 2 months but I’m depressed as fuck. I’m too young to buy alcohol. I’ve just been replacing weed with CBD, and since that’s very expensive, I’ve been taking 50-75mg of benedryl to chill out and eventually fall asleep. I know this is like, a mild substance abuse problem but idk. I’m so depressed and fucking miserable and hopeless, it’s so nice to take a bunch of benedryl and shut my brain off. I guess I’m just looking to see if anyone relates. ",5.505318181818179,7.090213759090908,5.434318181818185,80.5914772727273,68.22727272727272,8.40909090909091,33.75,8.841846274778883,2.928181818181818,937,44,168,16,16,292,138,220,0.208,0.728,0.064,-0.9864,0,0,4,0,1,1,29.0,0,0,0,0,14,15,3,2,8,0,12,6,2,2,0,23,31,20,1,3,5,0,0,1,0,1,1,4,0,0,8,11,1,1,1,0,2,3,2,11,0,1,8,6,13,4,28,21,2,27,1,6,2,3,2,11,3,2,14,97,21,0,0.0,0.1602272550066625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14452138370790055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814460917947187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14180205484372346,0.0,0.0,0.13411334429974428,0.0945570331226826,0.0,0.0,0.12038473634129032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243588817944217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15096311611274305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417876909014207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4658988895915425,0.0,0.14034898237230184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139384001966527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37505812330496996,0.0,0.0,0.07685519739553386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14897278124873947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30483153513156297,0.0,0.0,0.14287954079045256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431971468069076,0.0,0.0,0.14319066900782051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606729688550576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356042994022986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795934758448566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158810411032542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12690563417273995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163638751007744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12939831497635013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866327837200372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776202440869773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118649226766264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571757606138134,0.0,0.0,0.11305961800225353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20335456815126046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11158017844887924,0.0,0.0,0.10847457983280173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15098117872981662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09606460203559176,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,sketchypudding,2019/04/06,"Is this the beginning of the end? Hello Friends, So since my hospitalization at the end of December, I have been more stable than I've ever been in a really long time which is great. Recently over the past few days, I've had some increased irritability and very low energy. It could just be stress from work, or it could be the beginning of my next depressive episode. Does anyone else have that sense of panic that sets in when something like this happens? For me it's the fear of losing all the progress I've made when I was stable. It feels like that fear of my mood swinging back down is always on the horizon. Can anyone relate?",5.518719512195124,6.320064398373988,5.755843495934958,81.18059451219513,67.6178861788618,9.076829268292682,27.570121951219512,9.188382445141503,2.061309756097561,503,15,99,9,8,160,83,123,0.154,0.6759999999999999,0.171,0.3635,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,6,12,0,4,9,0,14,0,0,1,2,10,19,5,0,2,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,5,1,6,4,15,10,5,23,0,3,0,0,2,7,0,2,16,66,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413130368066636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23749963504192306,0.17401197836726445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058959285692362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27119254507871765,0.0,0.0,0.1095269761794703,0.0,0.14627523277520926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14862029456453654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14187204834892175,0.0,0.30083979998137833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536219059151053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3822142896541669,0.0858716807141902,0.12132733461565998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121104639051773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18723932996178014,0.0,0.0,0.15018103485913026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16594174309758464,0.0,0.0,0.15029513319695775,0.0,0.1899975015976278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16069824394811627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806172462252568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19926014266912065,0.0,0.0,0.16212295208709165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10879811811290344,0.0,0.1676876713167328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14048599788035512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13074423793458378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19454089166973168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902984982624727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012840073534685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363902561245267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,rnizzlenay,2019/04/06,"BIPOLAR TOYS R US THEME SONG I wrote this for you. *Ahem* “I don’t wanna come down, I’m a hypo-manic, Everything in life right now is freaken terrific! From sex to thoughts to fantasies, I have the most energy there is, GEE WIZ, I don’t wanna come down, Cause if I did, I wouldn’t be a hypo-manic *applause* Yes. Yes. *bows* Thank you, everyone. ",-1.7482142857142868,-0.7241642857142858,0.9505357142857171,96.04008928571429,120.42857142857142,4.035714285714287,15.803571428571427,5.985473137389443,-0.17149999999999954,260,8,56,4,16,88,51,70,0.0,0.785,0.215,0.9133,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,8,3,0,1,0,10,14,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,3,1,9,1,9,9,1,7,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,2,1,34,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.326535653629666,0.0,0.5476263424535504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30373431640999904,0.2856772122025661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22451795778709024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714555872992165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2926480475158433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523498749982752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38235332227062624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,borderlinesweet,2019/04/06,"F*ck me I just got diagnosed with bipolar I don’t believe it, I’m still in denial. Why should I even know this??? No one has told me about it, I just saw it on my discharge papers. Is it true?? Is this real??",-2.394166666666667,-0.8079447777777755,0.5015277777777811,101.48562500000004,107.88888888888887,3.1388888888888893,14.513888888888893,5.148860815047168,-1.1129444444444443,155,4,38,1,8,53,34,45,0.058,0.855,0.087,0.3094,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,7,10,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,1,7,1,4,6,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,28,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4034791005502654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3634847080445408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365351729889349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864216306514141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19681362806823874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24267167825404995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40761946306086855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2859954458458616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3421994271653867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3231479948693172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ChoiceRegular,2019/04/06,"Just received my BP2 diagnosis - 12 years in the making Hey everyone. Although knowing that I suffer from Bipolar II Disorder is disheartening, it is a relief to have a diagnoses and a concrete action plan to manage it. I have suffered from Major Depression since the age of 9; but it wasn't until this week, at the age of 21, that I was diagnosed with BP2 after having a 2.5-week-long hypomanic episode. During my episode, I displayed all textbook symptoms to varying degrees of destructiveness. Luckily, I did not do anything that had huge lasting consequences. During these 2.5 weeks, I was aware that I was acting abnormally, but I didn't see any problems with it because I felt better than I ever had before while sleeping less than 2 hours each night and eating less than 500 calories per day. When I crashed out of it, I knew that I had to speak with my psychiatrist. He immediately took me off of my 300mg Wellbutrin (I haven't noticed any withdrawal symptoms yet) and scheduled an appointment with me ASAP. At the appointment, we discussed the many options for medication (anti-psychotics & mood stabilizers). We settled on Depakote and I am now on 500mg for 14 days, then 1000mg for the next 14. At that point, we will meet again and re-evaluate the treatment plan. It seems like this is a very informative and supportive community. If you all have any advice or resources to offer someone who is starting out on their treatment journey, I'd be happy to hear it. I am especially interested in people's experiences with Depakote, apps that can be used to track mood, and how to build up a support network of friends and family. Thanks to all <3 ",8.527107843137255,8.112287813725494,8.527573529411764,67.98783088235295,61.38562091503268,11.179411764705883,40.693627450980394,10.550175099000144,4.455150980392157,1325,66,222,27,16,432,189,306,0.052000000000000005,0.8109999999999999,0.138,0.9849,0,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,3,1,1,3,7,17,1,0,14,0,25,8,1,3,4,39,38,18,0,2,6,0,1,1,1,1,6,2,0,0,18,19,1,0,5,0,0,5,4,6,0,0,12,4,27,9,42,23,7,41,0,4,1,0,16,14,0,4,23,155,45,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633248663145705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14007656331278018,0.0,0.26374777078063383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10638774412371832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880886550790214,0.0,0.11000912248649372,0.0,0.0,0.11433907228365316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16675187803579156,0.0,0.1113500556037476,0.26243621226824915,0.0,0.0,0.14816791797385054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13228735550569012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694261182197722,0.0,0.12353411232728399,0.0,0.12646221535800214,0.12187518995415078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413061336410325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998826461200219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376226708423719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14570976297639776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12731633759145544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104978824400958,0.10538176178847099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06316046117422565,0.0,0.0,0.11441015078863173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629647418357825,0.13107125433703187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302376143502073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749245192509893,0.12132202705142454,0.0,0.0,0.14718796238790202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962758575259132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12221290275690905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370503462912215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302069979519196,0.11769311629333427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694307832389728,0.0,0.12937496906678464,0.0,0.1095398830591317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09150618432282463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934144630523317,0.0,0.26874617402977485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190251309153436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14363661830772928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11165779654156788,0.0,0.10667086230191627,0.0,0.0,0.3111057123977716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08325311395079432 bipolarreddit,ALog37,2019/04/06,"Changing meds is never easy Since I’ve been stable I am weaning off klonopin. I’ve done it before and it’s not the most fun thing but tolerable. At the same time I’m starting vyvanse for binge eating. I was already doing weight watchers and since September I’ve lost 21 lbs, but I’ve got about 70 more to go - this is a result of an episode that was triggered by going through a lot of life changes in a short period of time. The weight has caused me to have severe social anxiety. My doctor has known me since before I gained the weight and knows what a struggle it’s been. She knows this weight is not normal for me but as a result of the self-medicating with food. I see her again in a week or so since medications are changing. The vyvanse is helping so much regarding I was always sleeping during the day on weekends, I never had any energy, plus I’m not binge eating as often. But I’m getting emotional again. My main symptom isn’t panic, but is crying. I cry and cry when I’m unstable. It’s creeping up on me. I’m afraid if I tell my doctor she will stop the vyvanse and it’s helping me so much. But I also know how important it is to be honest with your doctor. There is no point to this other than to share my struggle among others who will understand. ",3.2027906976744163,4.604568077519378,4.534023255813956,85.53219767441863,73.65116279069767,7.020465116279071,25.69069767441861,7.554174236665415,1.2932753488372088,996,33,201,12,20,330,144,258,0.168,0.7509999999999999,0.08,-0.975,0,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,1,0,2,11,8,0,4,15,0,24,14,1,5,2,37,40,22,0,2,11,0,4,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,15,8,7,1,5,1,0,2,7,5,0,0,9,5,22,3,28,28,7,25,0,1,1,0,10,10,0,5,13,140,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082117985279268,0.07306284030808545,0.07602121238481907,0.0,0.0,0.062129872812246474,0.0,0.06989233225622284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548611693762746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938548167948517,0.2899493516731008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30107341091671463,0.058921481741264936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28054125338955016,0.0,0.09349591883288333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869740141782565,0.0,0.1027709122011371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047632415825784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047733319681157495,0.0,0.10384722931195667,0.0,0.0730712194720068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247718865781974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506319035222473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064532284793501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973334629557516,0.07767343021217599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20296706617220808,0.09203846225125628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13432441818089902,0.0,0.1409293287107896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951619749080544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719462243531848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636742689989486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280436482582643,0.0,0.09531138088004668,0.1032140181663914,0.0,0.3023051835356809,0.0,0.09142883387507132,0.09313292274809468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06466709739404396,0.0,0.0,0.07638343582788408,0.0,0.19102458132056974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496098618290458,0.0,0.0,0.07985516025407695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06069741967935289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065488282779991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511195176087847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07328576952604199,0.4450213652465504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,BB770M,2019/04/06,"How Do I Stop Impulsive Spending? Hey everyone, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 last December and it explained so many things for me. One of them was how I love to spend on food, projects, and other stuff I don’t need. The only problem is that I’m on medication now and the new one I’m on seems to be helping me stay stable. While the impulsive urges to spend are pretty much gone, I’m still going after food. At this point I think it’s just a deeply ingrained habit. I really need to save my money so I can purchase the gear I need for my summer job. I want to just eat at home for the rest of the month and not buy anything I don’t need, but I feel like I will keep falling into my old hypomanic habits. Can someone please help me? It’s a lack of self control and I don’t know how to stop.",1.09,2.9408134761904776,2.974047619047621,92.44178571428571,80.90476190476191,6.104761904761905,21.809523809523807,7.1686216300943375,0.5438738095238094,616,19,140,8,16,206,103,168,0.068,0.8,0.132,0.8516,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,1,9,4,0,0,8,0,12,7,0,4,0,31,29,12,0,7,4,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,1,1,8,7,3,4,5,0,6,3,4,1,0,2,3,1,20,3,20,24,3,22,0,0,0,1,7,7,0,1,12,90,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174375255448558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600605210866266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14484685071575198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602715584790169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636477201006988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215806778145761,0.10195149276371004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34512910205759073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110493645738602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19130995924275532,0.0,0.14314897992175224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416168769571503,0.1268465086945506,0.0,0.0,0.07842925320570132,0.11632705857174375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697205146482596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880063960763835,0.0,0.0,0.1446847464074557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14376452182656718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11390913506424252,0.0,0.10490769444132693,0.4232683030143639,0.0,0.13782945054805087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497493164153781,0.0,0.19340691685273387,0.10853678985209768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15665186491510336,0.1349063372632011,0.0,0.0,0.14518657804353532,0.0,0.13655344686499452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142317835160997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12991711089464406,0.14887683650606295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12091705600954973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15210903669588766,0.11396776462118526,0.2386225901360308,0.0,0.0,0.1633679099818835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480966220933933,0.0914423035709676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08417359334469693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Keyliming,2019/04/06,"Rehab stories? I have a dual diagnosis of depression & alcohol addiction. However, I suspect I’m actually bipolar (but still an alcoholic). I have been on 200 mg Zoloft for three years and it doesn’t seem to be helping; frankly, I don’t know if it ever did or if life circumstances were what made me feel like it did. I also have therapy but I only see her once every two weeks and I just started seeing her last month. Nonetheless, the past few months have been absolute hell. A lot of change in my life has occurred and therefore stress has followed, but some other things outside of being stressed have also added to it. 1) I’m a special education teacher & this is my first year teaching. I feel like I’m completely in over my head and like I’m not supported at work. I’m the only SPED teacher there and am constantly overlooked. 2) I moved out of my parents during the summer when I got my job here in San Diego. I absolutely love my apartment and where I live & I’ve always my own space (I grew up sharing a room with my 2 sisters my whole life). While I love it and am grateful to be where I am, I’m alone every single day and don’t have friends here. 3) I’m codependent & am constantly on the lookout for a man who will temporarily fill the void that my ex has left in me. This turns into having strangers come over and sharing my bed with them for the sake of feeling desired and not alone & jumping into relationships that are short-lived because I’m a mess or because they move on. 4) I was drugged by someone I went on a date with who then took me back to my apartment and raped me in my bed. That was on November 6th. 5) My social anxiety at work is through the roof. I feel scrutinized all the time. I’m afraid everyone thinks I’m not good at my job and I’m only there because they were desperate for someone to take that particular class (moderate/severe disabilities). 6) I attempted suicide last month and was out of work for two weeks. They were supportive but my anxiety tells me I’m a burden. This has also caused great concern for my parents who already have to deal with my older sister (that’s a whole different story). 7) My drinking is out of hand and I feel completely lost. When I’m not drunk, I’m numb and my thoughts are too much to handle. When I am drunk, I lose control and slice up my thighs with scissors. That happened just a week ago. However, I’ve been managing my drinking since then, but I don’t know how long that’ll last. 8) Today I tied a scarf around my neck and tightened it until I couldn’t breathe just to see how it felt. Suicide ideation is constantly running through my mind. 9) My sleep schedule is absolutely fucked. I’m either awake for 30 hours at a time or I have to sleep for an entire day. Basically, nothing is getting better. Ideally, I’d like to make it to the end of the school year and then look into rehab options for the summer. I’ve been depressed for three years and this is the worst I’ve ever had it & it is affecting every aspect of my life & I would rather deal with it all now than let it continue to get worse. Has anyone here ever been to rehab for something similar and was is helpful? 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I’m working full time to pay my bills, recording and mixing my a cappella group’s album ENTIRELY on my own (basically another full time job), helping to direct my major’s HUGE end-of-the-year showcase, trying to make the most out of my classes and professors while I still have access to them, and trying to keep it together for one more month. I’m really really not doing well. I’m not sleeping, I’m always busy, I haven’t had a day off in 2 weeks and I don’t have one off for the foreseeable future. I keep telling myself to hold it together for one more month, because going off the deep end would mean not graduating, potentially losing my apartment, letting my group down, and losing the best free portfolio building opportunity I’ll ever have. I’m about one mildly bad thing away from losing it. I need some support, someone who’s been through the same thing and made it out the other side ok. I’m really hanging on by a thread. 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Please excuse my poor manners. On mobile. This post is all over the place. Mainly to get it off my chest, maybe just something to leave behind. I’m trying not to be over dramatic. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 2 about 5 years ago. My post can be triggering to some. Around December I started noticing downs more often. I’ve been really stressed, and it started then. I couldn’t afford rent and medication took out some loans. Now I’m even further behind. I’ve been fighting to stay positive. It’s been really hard. Like really hard. Ive honestly thought of selling my body just to get on top. Also, my owners of the company I work for. just recently said everyone is replaceable. I’m passionate at my job and have been there three years. To hear how unimportant I am hurt. I took it to heart. I feel so awkward in my own skin, so unhappy... So alone. I don’t know where to seek help. Not just from a clinic. I hate doctors and in my past they gave me lethal mixes and have killed me once. (honestly I wished I had stayed dead) The thought of suicide sounds better and better. They’ll find me when they evict me. So I have about 9 days to think about it. I’m tired of the swings, feeling alone and unimportant. Like there is nothing left of this world. Deep down no one cares. I struggle on for family(to save face) but idk if that will keep me on this plane anymore. All I do is work work work. No enjoyment from life. No ease. No partnership. Nothing other then my little kitty and a small apt... Now I’m loosing everything. What little I had is going to be gone. I just rather be dead then continue this path. It sucks... I feel like I’m working towards nothing. I will never get on top. Life keeps punishing me. I can’t keep up this pain. Loosing everything sucks. It’s hard to find any sliver lining at this point. I’m tired.... 90% of me at this points wants to end it all. With death comes peace. A peace I’ve tasted before. No more rent/bills, no more feeling inadequate and alone, like I don’t belong. Im afraid I’m at the end of my road. 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Hey there. My psychology assignment for my final term is to research an illness of which I chose bipolar. I chose this because my Dad is diagnosed with Bipolar and i wanted to learn more. Looking at it has made me start questioning my own mind as well. I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD-PI. However, doing research i've found that ADHD and BD can be mistaken for eachother sometimes because of similar symptoms. BD runs in my family (through my dad) and yet i'm not aware of anyone else in my family with ADHD, which is supposedly hereditary as well. I have also had issues with depression and self destructive tendencies for a long time. History of alcoholism and pseudo substance abuse after failing school for 3 years and a seemingly innate ability to tell myself that i will never succeed and that i do not deserve anything other than misery and seemingly becoming hellbent on proving that voice right. However, while i do feel that i have cycles where suddenly out of nowhere i'll just get depressed and basically zombified for a period of time, I don't feel that the mania symptoms strike me at all. I do have periods where i will suddenly be very happy and everything is great, silver linings in everything and sign up for lots of different clubs or take new courses etc. But i've seen it state an increased or grandiose sense of worth, or feeling that you are good at everything, and I have never experienced that i guess. Am i just being a hypochondriac or is this something that any of you can relate to? I don't really know if i'm just being in my head or not. Thanks for reading. 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I just burst into tears for the first time in over a year. Today has been hard. This week has been hard. And I'm starting to sink back into that energetic depression again. I'm not actually suicidal right now. Which is good. Unfortunately I can't bring myself to leave the house for more than a soda without somebody pushing me to do so. I'm sinking back into that mire of despair that has no cause or meaning. I'm doigts my best to hide it from those around me so they don't get worried. The messed up thing is I'm still on my meds. Yeah I've missed a dose or two but not enough to spiral me out like this. I'm thankful I'm on my meds or I'm sure I wouldn't make it. I'm rapid cycling I know. I know it'll pass. I just had to tell somebody what is happening before I tear my face off. The last time I felt this way I was fresh out of the hospital. I wish I knew why it was happening. What the trigger was.,0.11855454545454693,2.170857310000006,2.174454545454548,95.66472727272728,85.9,5.236363636363637,19.590909090909093,6.574015621080383,-0.015000000000000124,722,21,171,8,22,241,115,200,0.086,0.762,0.151,0.9564,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,2,12,9,0,0,9,1,17,3,1,3,1,27,41,7,1,2,9,0,3,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,15,7,1,0,5,0,0,3,7,4,0,2,8,3,20,5,25,31,3,31,0,3,0,0,2,13,0,3,15,108,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.1472919566224341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343652167189742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321212393410323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12843558768108165,0.0,0.15839822797412592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550530528276368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300011263297212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15595744051647428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449224202164606,0.0,0.0,0.12838625307230253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885793389100698,0.0,0.0,0.1265981219200662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669447631651137,0.0,0.2704183733702239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17416010762623102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16590117440226154,0.12303314670864453,0.0,0.15981964041376315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373980235244365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10075108432879223,0.0,0.0,0.16441376828867146,0.3353121801117417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889868855055614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683341794130104,0.0,0.12053784284459243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16509970288060338,0.0,0.14225558053497234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13192488999790988,0.13896177237307472,0.0,0.0,0.10027530329759476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760242219195043,0.0,0.14306986737511632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744273374158662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980612861932527,0.12107191385470495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361964422401887,0.0,0.17356917898684396,0.1454971088817391,0.0,0.0,0.15328303587658895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09719796299496078 bipolarreddit,mish92,2019/04/07,"Agitated & Restless every single Sunday I have BPI, ADHD-c, anxiety, and stress related to trauma. I’ve been mostly stable for a few months now but every single Sunday I’m agitated and restless. I work a 8-4 Mon-Fri schedule and my husband seems to think it’s because I have to work on Monday. But I don’t get like this during the week, is it because I’m not being stimulated enough? Maybe it’s my ADHD and not BP but damn I feel like there’s electricity running through my limbs and I don’t know what to do with the energy. ",4.374705111402356,4.793571293577983,6.5048754914809965,76.16027522935781,70.00917431192661,8.797378768020971,28.415465268676282,8.841846274778883,2.2070749672346004,417,14,81,7,7,148,69,109,0.161,0.713,0.126,-0.1808,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,2,7,1,3,4,0,8,0,0,1,0,17,15,8,0,0,5,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,1,1,9,2,8,13,5,9,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,9,51,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5102855338107422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23002644114522064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624085516563115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588316337115776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21936215532549275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3577430038867169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073450161629206,0.1516668194566956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091773682333046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11667426404085643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074376435486473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21328340276357094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16945545135172707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932695095309798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24318838279341415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13603296009157528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702938691773734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091131579667171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,sillysnek6,2019/04/07,"Bipolar & handling work What do you do for a living? How do you manage your stress and triggers to avoid mania/depression? Have you ever had to leave a position because it had negative effects on your mental health?",4.17625,6.964816124999999,4.830000000000002,78.24500000000002,75.25,7.0,30.0,8.07648339933343,2.635,175,8,27,3,4,56,32,40,0.24,0.76,0.0,-0.857,0,1,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,5,0,2,2,2,0,2,2,0,6,2,0,3,1,6,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,5,0,4,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,23,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.361283942503821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032629653496828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2871928475052132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30161710743429665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35443293453002217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3530666149866606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944351299245371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3360308071489527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3819563406246203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427495287802968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Vicarious124,2019/04/07,"I called the suicide hotline.... I called them to thank them for all of the hard work they put in. I wanted to thank them for being there when I needed them. I wanted to let them know that I have been mostly stable for over a year. The operator on the other end sounded overjoyed that I was doing well. He said he would pass the good word around. Made me happy to thank somebody for the service that has helped me in the past.",2.8408803986710964,4.421518337209303,3.4711960132890383,92.05802325581396,74.93023255813954,5.379401993355483,20.42524916943522,5.288315135182226,-0.2017588039867104,331,7,70,1,7,104,55,86,0.061,0.708,0.23,0.9349,0,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,6,1,4,6,0,0,8,0,8,0,0,1,1,10,17,1,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,3,15,6,14,10,2,11,0,0,0,0,12,5,0,1,4,54,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17154384270103035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3935364626102869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706749915994577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16162760603678575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20513271880687176,0.17262133771537125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916273896922625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590287300730757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970487919582346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823373864601031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428845982524612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18395394151476244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19371671046540592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833018149571409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21078250869175766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5322367723623118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273188893733895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732604301474183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402878851739477,0.0,0.0,0.13688854153413516,0.0,0.0,0.12409247335001372 bipolarreddit,KinkyGuy79,2019/04/07,"Am I Bipolar? Hi I’m in my late teens and would like to know if I’m bipolar or not, I’m asking this because someone told me that I might be bipolar because she thought I was on a manic episode. I would also like you’re experiences of early signs of bipolar My mood swings during seasons but it kinda has to do with my seasonal affective disorder: -winter: feel anxious, sometimes get panick attacks, I even got depressed this year due to me loosing myself to my OCD fears My fetishes also come at me very strongly in winter, I become hypersexual and cannot control my sexual urges which cause me distress -Summer: I feel some sort of euphoria and well being -Sometimes I feel very hyperactive and cannot concentrate, move my legs a lot, turn my head a lot, cannot stop laughing at jokes that aren’t even that funny and I have a very strong compulsion to fool around Paranoi: -I hallucinated a few times but they were just like rare, sometimes I hear a voice call my name but it lasts one second When I’m anxious I tend to have more auditory hallucinations but they don’t scare me because they last like one second. I remember a few times when I woke up from bed I heard 10 second conversations and once heard someone say my name aggressively but they didn’t really scare me .The voices don’t really interfere with my life or anything. I remember having many hallucinations when I was little of having bee buzzing sounds that disturbed me several times but I don’t have them anymore -Sometimes even now, I am scared in the shower and get anxious so I sometimes have a strong compulsion to see behind the curtains if someone is looking at me to reassure myself because sometimes I feel pressure. So do you guys think I’m bipolar or not? ",4.5512204373047735,6.552133162650605,5.3772423025435065,78.4114881749219,71.28915662650603,7.810084783578758,31.27219991075412,8.515128840125781,2.617958813029898,1398,63,246,24,27,455,174,332,0.158,0.7240000000000001,0.119,-0.9441,2,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,5,4,14,24,3,7,11,0,28,8,2,3,0,50,54,25,0,4,14,0,4,4,0,3,6,7,3,1,9,11,0,3,9,1,0,2,10,12,1,5,10,13,49,11,25,39,6,31,0,1,2,0,20,10,0,11,23,166,58,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13377456932406476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834699028300824,0.08294890984595595,0.0,0.0,0.06882901210214322,0.07445778564200571,0.07819258508125591,0.09515315348616134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039459113445102,0.09237437065910953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08540631104556089,0.0,0.0,0.08592184236732206,0.0,0.07204889228704471,0.0,0.0,0.09380994270642096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203944766243059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585926934884503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16573130167296513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181646695335107,0.0,0.09411882583597908,0.16916461744419892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08739742741767048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689495558640478,0.0,0.0,0.08281725364558698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583929230738968,0.0,0.09426893221497493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04596663624350125,0.13635635603005086,0.09435013704087652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05907776490310593,0.1634501110008416,0.08382976295909554,0.0,0.0,0.07023696198438685,0.0,0.0,0.14221633912316928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847983480175644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0887293622277166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889662411634562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907441213197947,0.11335394678092435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716450333885633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894967834359102,0.0,0.0,0.06651428967516114,0.2512162215148954,0.0,0.06665065653360057,0.0,0.0,0.09448996761002744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21260499502583535,0.0,0.4963356112620467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992721052371093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05359346077783293,0.0,0.06640122124491146,0.14631435988633168,0.0,0.0,0.07992209048548228,0.0,0.0,0.09097685558837436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20703653788691795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07520286222479901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11883163536401545,0.0,0.0,0.05386174539988972 bipolarreddit,a_throwaway_account3,2019/04/07,"Are we allowed to drink in moderate doses? Hello all, I am wondering if we are allowed to drink. My doctor told me that I may use from time to time but he didn't tell a definitite amount. I am wondering about your experience with alcohol? I am on olanzapine, sertraline and lithium. Is it okay to drink one or two glasses of wine or beer once in a while (e.g one or two days a week)?",2.0756593406593424,3.932590705128206,4.18648351648352,84.89423076923079,77.84615384615384,8.046886446886448,26.52747252747253,8.841846274778883,2.0788549450549447,297,12,63,7,7,102,56,78,0.0,0.96,0.04,0.4386,2,0,6,0,0,0,11.0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,1,8,8,0,3,1,16,12,7,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,4,6,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,9,1,11,9,2,8,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,7,5,45,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20154069759126567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216221370946733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19302539454276152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5542263984043202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18447294357027572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20083755281375068,0.25558102184867104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164832162415506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199316075757841,0.0,0.0,0.1802016615622507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3684415372332613,0.0,0.0,0.16287744400399365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127202583811938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4090261661128056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,zhongshiifu,2019/04/07,"Every spring/summer like clockwork Hey there, I have BP1 mainly characterized by hypomanic blips in the spring and summer and not much else (there was a big ugly manic episode at one point, hopefully never again..). I’m just amazed by how reliably I get these symptoms in the spring/summer. This year I started having hypomanic symptoms the last week of March. That’s the EXACT same time I started getting hypomanic symptoms a couple years ago for my first big manic episode. It doesn’t happen every year in spring, summer ones are more spread out, but it’s very interesting how tightly it is associated with the change in the season. Do any of you also notice the same thing? ",6.945241935483876,8.038396427419357,6.917903225806452,73.07185483870971,64.56451612903226,8.780645161290323,30.01612903225807,8.841846274778883,2.4743419354838703,543,18,90,8,8,173,85,124,0.018000000000000002,0.9,0.08199999999999999,0.7607,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,1,7,4,0,0,9,0,7,3,0,2,2,15,14,6,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,1,6,4,12,13,5,27,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,1,19,61,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987441800788942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13520888434295572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497651544740105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17885849218002925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18707781218050631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14124012038526348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.284905259564892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143814755420117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766689844758398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495120969207337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16792921204001912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378183526588822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260130182374098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428927376538168,0.0,0.1304007428799537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19249253536144065,0.0,0.0,0.22913862862816145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15983013232807852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23934372262224635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5271996931856129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232564136208738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858875003195816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395042393451511,0.0,0.0,0.1356214334680684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266354677610619 bipolarreddit,Sew_Knotty,2019/04/07,"Lacking the will to...well...do anything. I literally want to do nothing. 24/7. I force myself to get out of bed, put the coffee on, dress my self, get the kids off to school, and walk my 4 miles daily. I do these things because I am supposed to. I have no desire to do ANYTHING. I wish to sleep all day every day and do nothing else. All of the things that used to be bring me joy or I felt passionate about hold no appeal. So now I sit and watch the world pass me by and feel sorry for myself about it. Then I feel guilt for being so pathetic. Yet none of it motivates me to get up off the couch and do anything at all. I was on a chemical cocktail of 4 pills (which took me about 2 years of trial and error to find) for Bipolar 1 and severe social anxiety but nothing seemed to make a dent in the suicidal ideation or crippling depression. I stopped taking everything 2 months ago. I am neither better nor worse. This is the longest depressive episode of my life and while I am glad no manic symptoms have presented themselves, I’m also almost hoping for them to arrive because this deep dark hole I’m in is suffocating me. I have a great support system, a loving boyfriend, and everything I need in life. There is no excuse for being this pathetically lazy and self loathing. I’m sick of being sick of myself. Mmk. If you made it this far, thanks for reading. Rant over.",2.4904395604395617,4.5353079780219785,3.7970051282051287,87.28966153846157,77.27838827838828,6.419282051282053,24.839413919413925,7.404127859558343,1.1851829743589746,1070,38,214,14,25,350,157,273,0.213,0.665,0.122,-0.9808,1,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,0,1,1,2,9,12,0,1,12,0,20,10,1,4,3,36,43,20,1,7,4,0,3,0,0,1,7,0,2,3,12,11,1,2,6,2,0,5,7,3,0,0,4,4,28,9,40,34,6,33,0,2,1,2,8,15,0,6,11,145,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076149949117455,0.0,0.12156594170277138,0.0,0.0,0.09708463655100916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09287172037365836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29970896521807816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14801030404352253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736965152138182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15658768850968385,0.0,0.20912565456891752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141527178970826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228589530466577,0.0,0.21821545754178098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276836684912552,0.0,0.11656435926797885,0.0,0.11095865832111257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19028162495780235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13384544565886025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12057895896729215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17149876431206673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095694816942972,0.11487291736315383,0.0810363611979333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690142011138413,0.0,0.0,0.09001758205585463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3494636835453459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220419141963717,0.0,0.0,0.12143422896764652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286467385367145,0.0,0.11051925322195752,0.2532962237136058,0.1371489993873733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148905065303894,0.12375341442798225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358989011898352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149698635582342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279340113742702,0.13776484284876545,0.0,0.1261825134530453,0.09127872618776868,0.0,0.0,0.11177007626022503,0.0,0.0,0.16130735964563708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348813957065446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485181018936336,0.0,0.0,0.0716056769843714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915441677115292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13960559109523216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12371837378546545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817850586360453 bipolarreddit,Pickles_McBeef,2019/04/07,"Overanalyzing...or not 41/f, diagnosed 18 months ago, not sure if 1 or 2. I broke up with my bf of nearly two years 2 months ago. When we first got together I was not diagnosed. We fought a lot and nearly broke up twice (due to my impulsivity) before I was diagnosed. I started meds and definitely felt better but we still fought a lot and I still felt impulses to break up, but never argued or acted on it. I also have GAD. Being on an SSRI is what lead to my diagnosis because it made me manic. I've tried Buspar but it didn't help at all, so I just do my best to cope with it. Ex-bf has ADD, anxiety, and depression and smokes large amounts of pot to cope. Hates pharmaceuticals and therapy. He was not supportive of me starting meds and thought pot was all I needed. Didn't like me going to therapy because I should be going to him, my partner, with my troubles. He was intolerable when he wasn't high. Sweet as could be when he was, which was most of the time. When he'd run out and couldn't get any, I'd be on eggshells. He ran out and was incredibly irritable and said something very painful and I was crushed. I thought about it for about half an hour and then broke up with him. For a couple of weeks after the breakup I was sure it was impulsivity and I'd made a huge mistake because regardless of his flaws, I still love him. Now that I'm two months out, my constant sky high anxiety while with him is now quite manageable. I'm eating better, exercising (which I quit when I was with him), reclaiming my social life, restarted therapy, and generally feel much better. I don't think I made a mistake because the thought of getting back together is not attractive at all. But what all of this boils down to is, what part of all this is me, and what part is the disease? Was it sheer impulse that lead me to leave, or was I just unable to deal with his crap anymore? Is the energy I feel hypomania or is it just getting my life in order? And if it's the disease...how can anyone deal with this long term? It's exhausting. I want another relationship. Not right now, I've no interest in dating and want to get some debt paid down before I meet anyone, debt NOT incurred by impulse spending. But sometime down the road I do. I don't know how people deal with BP in their partner. I don't even know how to broach it with someone. I know my actions early in my relationship with my ex hurt him, and I feel deep regret for that. I know living with me was really hard on him and I fear doing that to another person. If you've read all this, thanks for ""listening."" I'm not sure if I'm looking at things objectively. I try, but I just don't know.",2.7803493894165534,4.39026398880597,4.439267299864317,84.93239484396202,75.15671641791045,7.783175033921302,25.614654002713703,8.507472789574589,1.645941791044777,2062,72,437,39,44,694,228,536,0.16899999999999998,0.7490000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.9936,2,0,2,0,0,0,74.0,3,0,1,9,23,31,5,1,14,0,44,12,1,7,10,110,88,45,0,14,26,1,6,1,3,1,8,2,0,3,26,38,2,0,14,2,4,8,18,17,0,5,32,10,62,14,66,48,16,74,0,6,1,1,38,30,1,12,35,296,88,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075480674441092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898008405096841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050154430146575515,0.15467247376895432,0.11284137363419874,0.0,0.07314295533703655,0.10313933914044146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0567113473816703,0.0,0.17983607876638044,0.0,0.12551639392980338,0.0,0.07739900886953202,0.1956850629376476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970057095835041,0.0,0.0588856060227124,0.08160606560801344,0.0,0.0,0.228107681583445,0.06352317483934761,0.22457260536200924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754675223758044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048713025960704696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299239962622564,0.1118748885425932,0.0,0.1416284996516518,0.0,0.0,0.06273409032007803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413116681229588,0.0,0.08383082682595333,0.0,0.0589868481432248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606801839470476,0.07281561663545408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049434944295240583,0.1558477558691717,0.0,0.0,0.07263164736538517,0.0,0.0789538931560969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026630384893559,0.0,0.0,0.07809356155127486,0.0,0.0,0.10418756142171268,0.03603189056664583,0.0,0.06512506979026657,0.06526890330262013,0.061933773246371414,0.0,0.0,0.125403978907023,0.06656477759336597,0.20936003559221245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16384545922300445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17660633358270206,0.0,0.054216790922718326,0.05468676347085799,0.0568827027361615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847817455137067,0.0,0.0,0.1597341811057921,0.0,0.05113090217441131,0.0643980964009041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15689035321174047,0.0737727542237154,0.0,0.047247929454324315,0.0,0.0,0.15836580267214473,0.0,0.06298448452355923,0.07015579790222405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751816872767687,0.06249050443413271,0.05677850534217991,0.07294340077151024,0.0,0.10440521675724647,0.0,0.1766972336767585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369379851589072,0.20853341127083733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790166525212891,0.2530282484047978,0.0,0.04899808027267407,0.047257813457826495,0.0,0.17565444448374598,0.043005848259317817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014661399824376,0.0,0.14409152933803307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06085378044517604,0.08700261951015811,0.0,0.05916004398623851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04749438233094557 bipolarreddit,MX5Throwaway,2019/04/07,"Why is it so hard to feel this way????!!! I feel like going to sleep forever. I don't want to die or anything. I just want to fall asleep, and not wake up for a long time. Is this normal? I'm not sure I am bipolar. I might just have major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder.",0.5066585956416461,2.8130258644067823,3.0971428571428596,87.86983050847458,86.96610169491525,7.439225181598062,21.987893462469735,8.418075326091056,1.6003588377723972,222,8,48,6,7,77,43,59,0.276,0.636,0.08800000000000001,-0.8467,0,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,6,4,3,0,1,15,12,4,1,3,5,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,3,5,2,6,11,1,6,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747375325382167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1879668172079476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19673427348384026,0.0,0.2370596341658449,0.0,0.523568803592365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23098787672557636,0.1631803592206487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12981401553734856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046157742000656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159246732874896,0.0,0.0,0.20214087700752376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24231316564713046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22379907733518767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285808516964185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21527927546248773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319114377155494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269451222861734,0.1813059035585129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20610981513535945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,VerlanderFan_23,2019/04/08,"Gabapentin work well? Have you taken or are you currently on Gabapentin for bipolar, anxiety or something else? What daily dosage and how well did/does it work for you? Thanks",3.8679032258064514,7.1253208709677445,2.277661290322584,92.53649193548388,82.2258064516129,5.680645161290323,27.10483870967742,7.1686216300943375,1.5424129032258067,141,6,25,2,4,39,24,31,0.048,0.736,0.21600000000000005,0.7131,1,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,3,0,2,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,4,4,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,3,3,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,1,16,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26917453501096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29393671741163985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708816328954485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239485408953289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6327349005823145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5123214862326925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ReasonsAsWhatMatters,2019/04/08,"Bipolar/ADHD comorbidity I have bipolar 1 and haven't had a manic episode since October, though I had a depressive one in February. I also have ADHD, which has been causing serious dysfunction in my life and schoolwork. I've heard that bipolar has to get treated first, which makes sense, but what counts as stable enough to be able to be prescribed ADHD medication?",10.693636363636363,9.224560484848489,10.15363636363637,61.45045454545455,57.78787878787878,13.042424242424245,44.72727272727273,11.855464076750405,5.524309090909092,296,15,46,7,3,96,48,66,0.08,0.8740000000000001,0.046,-0.0129,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,10,4,0,2,0,5,13,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,4,1,4,1,6,7,1,3,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,34,8,0,0.21050127758521944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7589448871789455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683377956328831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21624279732559215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18130444193360587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21750409028393491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17905227917936015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10997822941844408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486832776208018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051123735734267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21205789130952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426411135076278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741288320786751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20681643645411532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Midna0802,2019/04/08,"Weight gain on Seroquel So, I don't actually have Biopolar disorder, but I do have very bad depression, anxiety, and I am diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. As a result of all of these, my doctor prescribed me Seroquel. (Sorry if this doesn't belong here - I just noticed that a lot of questions about Seroquel are located in this sub). &#x200B; I have heard a number of stories now about how Seroquel has made people gain 15, 30, even up to 50 pounds! Everyone has said it causes them to have really bad cravings. I am already *very* self conscious about my weight, and currently sit at about 235lbs. I really do not want to gain any more (in fact, if by some rare chance I lost weight on Seroquel, that would be ideal), so I am trying to prep myself and my house before I start taking it. I plan on having my husband hide all of the snacks in our house so I cannot find them, and I'll be stocking up on veggies and fruit to eat. I'll also be taking it at night, close to bedtime, so I am hoping that will also help mitigate some of the cravings (I really don't think I'll be getting out of bed to eat...). &#x200B; Does this sound like I am doing the right thing? I mean, I'd love to lose weight in general, so if this did help with that in one way or another I'd count that as a success.",3.4297126436781578,4.820586865900385,4.780726053639847,84.03062931034484,73.06130268199233,7.82536398467433,26.843103448275862,8.395991825355821,1.8004082758620692,1016,36,204,17,20,338,142,261,0.118,0.7390000000000001,0.14300000000000002,0.8397,1,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,1,0,2,8,16,10,0,0,7,0,27,11,0,4,3,36,40,20,0,7,7,1,4,1,0,2,2,3,1,2,14,9,8,0,5,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,5,8,25,5,38,29,6,22,0,3,0,1,12,16,0,9,5,141,39,3,0.0,0.0,0.09631453437252686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089151587020762,0.15785672929038144,0.0,0.21387742591730532,0.23985655999204836,0.06711769260552047,0.10349294687050616,0.07550332649210602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648165997550062,0.0,0.0,0.08398431325123094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138953224997804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500802241664335,0.10017589705939696,0.0,0.0,0.2262317988842485,0.1010210856489194,0.08637085781518207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20198438916428696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518877580226189,0.0,0.0,0.0943097022538394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902077378629159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05156537640246827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323097236069596,0.0,0.0,0.0980288991132758,0.0,0.2277673548093084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0482186189331674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11041727002231576,0.10773999327851357,0.08390909520049081,0.0890783579398603,0.09338997220978544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751052467683772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262092900897484,0.0,0.0,0.11236777151379998,0.0,0.0,0.06687998840663723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842442760800453,0.08617886049118383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056380136681623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896844603414867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428713592827151,0.09388393536394304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10296303008773776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11048378413979404,0.06985860694904199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484164918537121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557024136035366,0.0632413804244568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700913193684029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16287156759100505,0.058214349710406975,0.07834149099210116,0.0,0.4807479211452619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701118807168391,0.0,0.23985655999204836,0.0 bipolarreddit,Bacon_Devil,2019/04/08,"Bipolar Disorder rarely shows up alone: some interesting co-morbidity statistics I recently spoke to my psychiatrist about my bipolar disorder improving with treatment, but not my other mental health issues. I let him know how embarrassed I was about the ordeal, because I sometimes feel ashamed about the number of issues I have. He shared with me some statistics that reassured me quite a bit and made me realize I'm not alone. This info helped me find more self acceptance, and I thought it might help some of you as well. These statistics come from a public 2008 psychiatry study (n=9282). I'll post the full link below, as well as the specific chart I'm getting these figures from in case you'd rather dig in yourself. Here's some of the statistics that stood out to me: * **92%** of people with BD will be deal with another mental disorder * **70%** of people with BD will deal with with 3 or more other mental disorders * **75%** of people with BD will be deal an anxiety disorder * **63%** of people with BD will deal with an impulse control disorder * **42%** of people with BD will deal with a substance abuse disorder If you ever feel alone because of the multiple issues you're facing, just know you aren't. Here's the [table](https://i.imgur.com/8iK9cSS.jpg) where I got these figures from. It breaks down the prevalence for specific disorders, and breaks them down by BD1, BD2 and sub-threshold BD. And here's a link to the [full study](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1931566/) *Disclaimer*: I don't have a medical background so please let me know if I misinterpreted anything",3.3214978744686188,6.4883613548387125,3.435088772193051,81.99123780945236,89.57347670250894,7.183162457280988,25.48478786363257,8.057270187336151,2.4551963157456025,1274,53,208,32,43,390,148,279,0.122,0.7609999999999999,0.117,-0.6603,0,3,0,0,1,0,82.0,0,4,1,2,14,8,0,2,16,0,16,5,1,3,1,50,30,14,0,3,8,0,2,0,0,6,4,1,0,1,10,19,0,1,14,1,0,1,4,2,2,0,6,3,24,6,42,13,9,16,0,0,0,0,19,10,0,8,2,137,34,0,0.0,0.08680495061030746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22763584200428946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07682288738353342,0.0560461724550452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060289398047660564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932117325027827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079984475054437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310978776711806,0.0,0.0,0.08217094512794171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37765587947645257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6717280948625406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06627078834070707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408818349403534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696126737638619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03827701523672883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05859529988232608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778753903749689,0.0,0.0,0.0982136010594224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294033415366385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079067001356135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14983323826260844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06932344217428286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738049992225263,0.22149632047687698,0.0777207121602039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539575041277766,0.0,0.0,0.0804210289254406,0.0,0.0,0.07016592506078817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779244660840715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07233860371006216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764295297823029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245921043730598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058162823149986574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174488944475504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,purse_full_of_pills,2019/04/08,"Life changing I posted awhile back about meds change. The effectiveness of meds hits me quick so the change was pretty much overnight. Prior to the change my body hurt all the time. I was always exhausted, I longed for my couch. I had no motivation to clean my disaster of a house or car. 2 days after taking the new meds I cleaned out my car. It’s still covered in dog hair, but not trash. I just went to the store and bought black hefty bags and am going to throw out all the stuff that’s been accumulating in my house over the years. I’ve been out with friends. I’ve been socializing more with coworkers and the brain fog has lifted, making conversation easier. It has been years since I’ve felt this way. It’s amazing. I want to do as much as I possibly can while this lasts. I can’t help but feel it’ll be taken away and I want to be productive, but not overly manic-productive. I’ve got all the windows open when I usually have the blinds drawn. It’s a beautiful day and my house needs airing out. The best part is my father, who was against meds for years, pointed out the fact that meds can plateau and you might need to switch them up. And then if those stop working you might need to switch back to the original meds. I was blown away. He did all of this research on his own. My shitty mother stayed silent, then started talking about herself, as usual. But I didn’t care. I’m lucky to have my dad and to have a successful meds switch. Just wanted to share. I wish the feeling and relief I have right now for all of you.",2.4512337662337664,4.456134512987016,3.105194805194806,92.39207792207796,77.24675324675326,6.477922077922077,21.064935064935067,7.447530270364453,0.4931935064935074,1202,31,262,16,28,376,171,308,0.048,0.757,0.195,0.9942,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,3,1,5,11,10,0,0,18,0,28,6,3,4,6,51,49,23,0,8,10,3,4,0,1,3,3,0,4,0,13,17,0,1,5,0,2,5,5,2,0,0,16,6,31,8,41,27,11,50,0,1,2,0,17,17,0,5,25,171,44,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06751537751789563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15246829965858422,0.12478403777715327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851519254311662,0.0,0.0,0.09012877897125464,0.0,0.09057960793847793,0.0,0.0,0.08272812479762955,0.0,0.3433434664732723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10465779113172094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08205412710006044,0.0,0.07790758316811455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268893183361399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04611400338956142,0.0,0.06489545238206063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054386751869367096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808756515905311,0.08686255962089916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06614031904326323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057311919045316635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180676946867874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05416189896566168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6309014527987825,0.0,0.0,0.1721544487432063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119295174581642,0.1804939083777629,0.0,0.07836597903129723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786723032368883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670397839590483,0.0914736970846816,0.07771014838681724,0.08254903640219427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06929352465625424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712024167909747,0.0,0.0,0.082712498806955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05743164778068269,0.08648495319964343,0.06479889034625423,0.06783707263084081,0.0,0.0,0.09288643433693336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100754121252805,0.06521764247046688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047313665091686115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17872954560717147,0.0,0.14357626816642796,0.06440553446125626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07521803578785648,0.0,0.0,0.09330754501023032,0.0,0.0,0.05907123418195397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15675542213187107 bipolarreddit,newandimproving,2019/04/08,"Tired of ""Surviving"" Episodes, Feeling Demoralized Hi BipolarReddit, I'm having a rough time lately and I was hoping you could offer me some advice. I was diagnosed with BPD about four months ago, and have had developing symptoms for about a year. I have a therapist, my toolbox of coping skills is extensive but that's all I'm doing: coping. I have recently decided to pursue getting medicated and getting my moods stabilized. The medicine has not started to affect me yet (which I understand is normal) and I'm getting very demoralized. I'm tired of ""surviving"" with BPD. I want to thrive, and feel happy. I don't want to be constantly worried and unsure of my decision making skills because I'm manic or depressive. I know that eventually I will find a medication that works for me, and I will be able to cope better and thrive. I'm just feeling extremely demoralized and defeated lately. I need to find ways to imporve my morale and will to keep fighting through this. Please help me. Sincerely, NewandImproving",4.928582449373192,7.636872530054648,5.8246287367406,72.47603664416587,72.33333333333334,9.55178399228544,32.076181292189005,9.916854025145753,3.903711282545805,815,39,130,24,17,267,108,183,0.161,0.7020000000000001,0.13699999999999998,-0.7795,0,0,0,0,2,0,26.0,0,1,0,7,4,8,1,0,5,0,18,6,0,2,1,36,39,12,0,6,4,0,4,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,5,12,0,1,9,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,4,20,4,19,30,2,11,1,2,0,0,5,0,0,3,10,85,25,1,0.13631749006506788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320787361224268,0.1208372300159841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309787669046677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205617422392241,0.0,0.0,0.3433742134339767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473107790847791,0.0,0.1088384235618362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11741005444506808,0.13835938295542055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20677865657756053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491834326398296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213660786786244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14511250298769265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137074014124816,0.0,0.0,0.13539402582110166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116524858015995,0.0,0.0,0.07491652752941208,0.0,0.3075441327306587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099298314109083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746510598264844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880732002522107,0.0,0.0,0.10107769161060304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335621973201264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496356687174596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13459707597471715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964862210903259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14168606721233484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582751126351727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948782469315728,0.3133538034338316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14191131465222934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11247620562614996,0.1608071750095184,0.10820247855677156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924075630084032,0.13843702816950992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778399425743293 bipolarreddit,sunshine3881,2019/04/08,"Bipolar and PPD Hi everyone. I’m really, really struggling today. I was diagnosed with bipolar ll in 2010. I gave birth to my first child in June of 2016. While pregnant I was on a very low dose of my medications I had taken before I became pregnant. We were not trying to get pregnant but ended up conceiving on our wedding night. After giving birth I started suffering from PPD. I hated my daughter, wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. I sought treatment at a private hospital that had a mother-baby ppd program. I had my tubes tied to prevent another pregnancy and I thought that was a great idea. I thought I was one and done. After the tubal ligation I had a lot of other complications which lead to my having a full hysterectomy. I guess the reason that I’m struggling is because I so badly want to have another child. I want my daughter to have a sibling. I want to bless my home with another little blessing. My daughter is now the biggest joy in my life. Of course I still struggle with my bipolar. I’m on a constant roller coaster. I do know that if you have ppd with an early pregnancy you are bound to have it with one that follows. I honestly don’t know why I’m posting this and not sure if I will go through with posting it. I can’t talk to my husband about this because he definitely does not want another child. I’m just so heart broken today",3.1515049751243787,5.266450518656715,4.791865671641791,80.59635572139305,75.52985074626865,7.451741293532338,30.196517412935318,8.344100000000001,2.5005741293532333,1081,51,197,20,24,364,142,268,0.121,0.745,0.134,0.2129,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,2,2,0,2,6,13,1,3,12,0,23,8,1,2,1,36,46,10,0,7,7,4,0,0,0,1,7,0,1,3,11,12,0,2,6,1,0,3,5,7,0,3,14,0,38,6,34,31,2,33,2,2,0,0,18,12,0,4,16,139,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4710985179411648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378037130133783,0.13693533845224728,0.0,0.09557386928132004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12137525166122955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11399983782749396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982897490612356,0.11493973739733228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994799146860855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10732412764042636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553715749811703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05868122692137789,0.10774512338811787,0.06383258978336707,0.0,0.0,0.123830374648771,0.1237303234730962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089021932621268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330967077606773,0.0,0.0,0.11266355060956992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679271898035085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345345587011912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933312983503328,0.0,0.11257158221509407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09548827138963367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314800489337505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540230930195099,0.0,0.1077716133623136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15221840894004002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2151381211505552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14390685685269347,0.11548103526062845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07949886246911707,0.0,0.08969685305670377,0.0,0.0,0.3522557265734803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585785843365904,0.0,0.0,0.09027650415183792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17833500352855705,0.0,0.0,0.21292760129004776,0.0,0.0,0.07625616937806459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267365123306673,0.33123868220937913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134902017629813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,muhtingly,2019/04/08,"Jitterbug blues Just upped my dosage of Vraylar and my psych warned it might make me restless. This feeling is so irritating! I stand up and I want to sit down. I sit down and immediately jump back up. My legs won't stop bouncing when I sit still. My arms feel like there is some weird energy thrumming through them. This constant need to move is making it impossible to get work done! &#x200B; I have a follow-up appointment next week and I can't wait. I'm hoping this feeling goes away by then, otherwise I am likely off to Abilifytown and I haven't heard great things about that medication. Has anyone else experienced this jitteryness? I'm losing my mind!",3.004685714285717,5.815988879999999,3.751342857142859,84.07010000000002,80.2,7.091428571428572,24.128571428571423,8.192908349453996,1.676097142857143,530,19,100,11,14,168,89,125,0.145,0.769,0.086,-0.8593,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,2,7,7,0,1,1,0,11,3,2,2,0,19,24,8,0,3,1,0,3,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,8,5,0,2,3,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,2,6,15,4,15,20,1,21,0,1,1,0,2,7,0,3,10,63,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20261312071165336,0.2272240089608196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307539082784494,0.19160236818695356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756915273907015,0.14379053377088494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020792693006893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19136469608890885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15621350149709648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28365663455030304,0.133591979450448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976991544457314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20616683618582704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18573200125335493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18271633514483154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092038237671021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24964630095478876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883816168348897,0.0,0.19837617468370086,0.18881547973873447,0.0,0.0,0.19875012951447532,0.0,0.13865724008910335,0.0,0.0,0.19887534431178897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14933748252783136,0.15633936931040407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423369292815704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102967366886636,0.0,0.1499991570547609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613735289920634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272240089608196,0.0 bipolarreddit,WhichWayzUp,2019/04/08,"If none of the bipolar/antidepressant/antipsychotic/antiseizure medicines do anything to help me feel better & improve my life, does that mean I don't have bipolar disorder? I've had every symptom of bipolar disorder for 25 years. Have seen doctors & tried every bipolar medicinal med you can name. But none of the medications have helped. They've only made me feel worse with their side effects. Has anyone else out there had this experience? I mean I have every symptom of bipolar disorder, if the medicines don't work does that mean I don't really have bipolar disorder I just have the symptoms? ",5.983055555555558,8.465134157407412,5.806666666666668,74.805,68.53703703703704,8.874074074074073,35.14814814814815,9.444778638647367,3.742881481481483,491,25,78,11,9,153,64,108,0.029,0.804,0.16699999999999998,0.9181,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,1,3,2,1,0,0,4,0,14,11,0,2,0,14,21,3,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,0,11,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,6,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,3,10,1,8,17,2,3,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,2,1,46,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568820320259273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288784441976159,0.12146105224569904,0.09755057965025668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484142576584908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5434410289633513,0.1213335238520838,0.2074751121417083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09902725340173728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29963212921507804,0.0,0.0,0.11595755238199833,0.0,0.0,0.11987754860919818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15891340804749482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373024738735313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216801272599128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3873834079222254,0.13167426751172273,0.11941934549674207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090157100248218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594151869507787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3696339076177746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804827433395635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08630053109232698,0.0,0.12080518579793853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633764199515773 bipolarreddit,Subby13,2019/04/09,"Lamotrigine Brand Teva has discontinued their version of Lamictal. I'm currently paying out the nose for the brand because my experiences trying anything other than Teva or Brand were pretty disastrous, but this was a few years back. Has anybody had issues being switched to other generics? What brands and what are your experiences? Thanks.",7.804107142857141,11.061726910714288,7.320857142857148,62.524142857142884,65.60714285714286,9.48,34.41428571428571,9.888512548439397,4.383532857142858,281,13,35,7,5,88,48,56,0.041,0.853,0.106,0.594,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,7,1,1,0,0,4,9,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,3,1,5,5,2,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,28,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696244625423692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25193928965849305,0.0,0.1997297544107312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6410006552665862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34197694603144707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333334289166542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.301652104915062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224498972191208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21099306399295228 bipolarreddit,Useful_Pineapple,2019/04/09,"Crying in my car right now I wrote out a long post about how freaked out I am to feel like I’m re-accepting my diagnosis all over again and then deleted it. But I just would rather say I don’t want to feel so alone so here I am, posting anyways.",4.229444444444447,3.3527089814814843,5.196666666666669,89.86500000000002,70.29629629629629,8.681481481481484,29.11111111111111,7.793537801064563,1.3857111111111116,191,6,48,2,3,63,43,54,0.153,0.773,0.073,-0.6269,0,1,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,1,13,9,6,0,3,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,3,7,1,7,7,1,12,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,5,33,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31636647315168503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3355356250791016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3089014951403985,0.21822208877520874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923328658157145,0.0,0.0,0.27032422662942984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5850962498205015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26086284902845835,0.0,0.2429156148523355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18016938115822384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169914157494039,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,OutlandishWaste0,2019/04/09,"Annoying This disease is the most annoying thing ever. Today, I woke up so depressed for absolutely no reason. I had a great day, but I'm not capable of expressing that right now. Last week I was having the time of my life . I just needed a place to vent since I can't talk about it with anyone else, but I always seem to crash at the most inconvenient times. anyone else relate?",3.4715999999999987,5.116423560000001,5.0183333333333335,81.34750000000003,73.4,8.200000000000001,23.166666666666664,8.841846274778883,1.6176666666666668,297,8,58,6,6,100,59,75,0.233,0.7340000000000001,0.033,-0.9264,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,2,0,5,0,5,1,0,1,1,11,9,3,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,7,1,9,6,2,12,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,3,8,40,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17378872909342327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920803392722882,0.4280046802596648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346977916674296,0.0,0.17989130639537387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3489524184548155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889263467348871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302695202487325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17024924411206235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14752440020276414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15486746920611705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21821484619027487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147434558178153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17836578905631162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901388223737717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17277162517179015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16787421793512874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13875768478840186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24357656069853176,0.0,0.1979754027872487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16753535423894012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,doyouhearthatbatsy,2019/04/09,"Antidepressant-induced mania even while on a mood stabilizer? howdy partners I have Bipolar Type II and am currently taking 1250mg of Depakote. I'm extremely happy with how well my moods are regulated on this medication; I still have a full emotional range without experiencing devastating highs and lows. However, I also have OCD and GAD, and so my psychiatrist recently prescribed me 10mg of Lexapro. I've only been taking it for around a week, but I'm concerned that it's triggering mania. My mood the last few days has been exactly what it is when I'm entering a manic episode: increased sex drive, irate, distractible, and impulsive. I knew that antidepressant-induced mania was possible, but I thought concurrently taking a mood stabilizer would circumvent that possibility. The fact that it's only been a week encourages me to attribute this to something else, but nothing has happened to trigger anything like this and my moods have been so good as of late. It may be worthwhile to note that, while my Depakote blood concentration is in the therapeutic range, it's at the low end. Is it possible that the Lexapro is inducing a manic episode and my blood concentration levels aren't high enough to combat it? Or is a week too short of a time period to induce such a thing and I should just call this a bad week? Has anyone here experienced anything like this? thanks y'all",7.426780000000001,8.576784348000004,7.590150000000001,68.47482500000002,63.52,11.05,36.825,10.9516,4.389340000000002,1117,53,185,30,16,362,143,250,0.083,0.785,0.133,0.8971,3,0,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,0,13,16,0,1,16,0,24,5,2,6,2,29,34,20,0,2,6,0,0,2,1,3,2,2,0,1,21,10,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,4,1,0,7,4,15,7,19,23,4,31,0,2,0,1,4,12,0,2,18,124,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10429816090802993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119386283276247,0.0,0.21465184049981276,0.11610293566235412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889664519743368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317510520871098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411118644822135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895056840530176,0.14670682240412464,0.11551488678833036,0.13476044711944166,0.0,0.08614228178406938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939150743902827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11533145043029915,0.13883629093808894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755953061164101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631106669910624,0.14712132245323245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12743487842075554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13138610961647554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1251431080919963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983831113232672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.441092503906236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287756631213699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004049719762799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415491266564088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941825898398425,0.0,0.0,0.12007474933860225,0.0,0.0,0.08664636110127782,0.0,0.0,0.10354023627786237,0.07604992352775397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4184655811389282,0.0,0.11726474268911015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572183399879575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264781108086796,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,TheHQOverlord,2019/04/09,Anyone have an EEG done? What were the results? I get my abnormal readings told to me next week,0.32877192982456194,2.737458368421052,1.7852631578947395,93.54350877192984,96.89473684210527,4.63859649122807,22.12280701754386,6.42735559955562,0.6686701754385971,75,3,15,1,3,24,19,19,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,10,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29822561878632703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4364676792944353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228338041523871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4535980866623351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4266252908210166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4075484596035267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34212049199187433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,DoctorFurious,2019/04/09,"Is it possible to be put back on a med and have a completely different reaction to it, even if not much time has passed? I was put on Zyprexa earlier this year and it showed promise, but it really messed with my blood sugar so I talked my doc into taking me off of it and going back on Latuda. The Latuda wasn't working as well ( I made sure to take it with enough calories, so that wasn't the issue), so my doctor put me back on the Zyprexa and we're going to work with my primary care doctor to manage my sugars more aggressively. I started the Zyprexa Friday and since then I've been just miserable. Is this a known thing that happens? Does anyone have any experience with Zyprexa? To be clear, I'm not looking for advice on medications to try, or dosing, or anything other than personal experiences. I'm just wondering if anyone has had med switches change up their effects like this, and/or if they're had Zyprexa cause major negative mood shifts. Thanks.",5.703900900900901,6.530433583783786,6.177094594594598,78.23465090090093,67.21621621621622,9.409909909909912,30.5518018018018,9.516144504307137,2.7246666666666663,763,28,142,15,12,247,114,185,0.093,0.8059999999999999,0.1,-0.163,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,1,3,10,10,1,1,7,0,14,7,1,3,2,27,27,16,0,3,10,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,13,10,2,0,3,1,0,6,5,3,1,0,7,3,12,6,23,18,4,21,0,1,1,0,3,8,0,6,8,97,25,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648584409376806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08802264644289666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18101287477459185,0.0,0.10651689027523364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2985907445437039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197121906538872,0.13296903698260376,0.1369288133251405,0.0,0.13571384745340914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13523572564250538,0.0,0.2649716627660417,0.11327253940505926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374461384388187,0.0,0.08549293549486224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532314606010744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14712581140193487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446207423298045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510020750200674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06323713288632715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869577441928344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247787708449548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875540782003139,0.1303957123229992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515222094462836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11302074122916525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14592250635698473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3903644542824392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292164375834057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707289860639777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161726545949578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219942929480004,0.0,0.19464334785042695,0.10403779612377724,0.0,0.11916961783644466,0.0,0.0,0.08599321502841839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547665411098811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788027269633471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163807932052681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403705761183141,0.1884655987491427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335417652484331 bipolarreddit,Ifukitallthetime,2019/04/09,"Everything is just the worst, and I can't even give up. I'm about to have a breakdown and don't know what to do I'm so irresponsible and kept wasting so much money, now I'm at risk of losing my job because I know I'm going to fail a drug test. But I don't even know whether theres going to be a test or not. I can't lose this job, I am so fucking close to a promotion, I have so much growth potential. It's perfect for my life right now and I can't afford anything else. My dominant hand is fucked up from work so I can barely use it. My bipolar is I don't even know what's going on. I have to spend the next 3 days traveling for my grandfather's funeral. I've been relying on weed to help and now i can't use that. My family is dealing with my grandpas death so I can't go to them for support. My best friend is dealing with his own mental health. My boyfriend is in a rough spot himself. I don't have anyone to turn to and I have no idea how I'm going to make it these even next few days, let alone weeks. All I want to do is die and give the fuck up. But how can I do that to my family? My roommate can't afford rent on her own. My boyfriend will be so sad. My friends will be broken. I'm just in a continuous cycle of fucked up shit. It's not worth the good times anymore. Like they're great and all, and I use to be able to use that as motivation to go on but now I just don't care. I'm freaking out and crying in bed right now, but come tomorrow morning I have to hold it together and pretend everything is okay, go to a funeral without breaking down. I'm struggling with fucking spellcheck right now how the fuck am I supposed to deal with a funeral. I'm going to fucking breakdown and everyone is going to have to deal with that. But we'll be across the country and it's my fucking grandfather's fucking funeral what shit timing. Everything is so bad and I want to die I dont even know where I'm going with any of this but I need help. My plan was just to get high during the trip but now I cant do that. I have to go back to work Saturday but I also think I need to go inpatient. But how will my roommate afford rent? How will anything fucking work for everyone else. I should just die and they'll deal with that but then it will be over. No future problems. What the fuck do I do",0.3440396881644219,2.25634982730924,2.553576659579494,94.14671509567684,83.85943775100402,5.913914481455232,21.612095440585875,7.128822416839037,0.5078194660996931,1786,59,420,25,51,605,187,498,0.199,0.733,0.067,-0.9968,7,1,1,0,0,1,40.0,1,0,2,11,35,33,13,2,16,1,58,18,3,11,3,74,114,43,8,6,20,1,2,1,2,8,4,0,3,0,20,25,0,2,8,2,5,16,18,23,0,0,3,2,51,10,61,96,9,59,0,4,0,11,18,22,13,1,21,279,71,10,0.05672717037659001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05875224049068727,0.0,0.04536469765519687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03857642111364085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056258109968185935,0.03966495649971963,0.0,0.0933632555035383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04361969246034115,0.04736481776896306,0.034580356539009816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059531665521941037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05783713086665347,0.0,0.0,0.04886543431249397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062312132955974264,0.07316866394237033,0.29241610888285924,0.0,0.0,0.17662154035716646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648382119944388,0.0,0.06578550795220252,0.0,0.09477654355625044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873388051352599,0.0,0.0,0.10841048456862336,0.15294816883625312,0.0,0.10695465528434732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765454223024625,0.5768769041608324,0.029637605194154138,0.10883574172199596,0.3868722984380453,0.04758005910951468,0.0,0.0625419056046944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060298329428237984,0.0,0.0,0.07604605309199337,0.05993537004064192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06403807050026034,0.0,0.0,0.1125859269055651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558788464765201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058007375093444224,0.04006807805872095,0.027714030045947174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12692638680636342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03786582672007087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571676453667371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340199467734585,0.08412495609375123,0.0,0.0,0.12065997850244024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05428024087869493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14533408064884454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164592504004537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059303555266788766,0.0,0.0,0.06437332069597157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03634848023457152,0.0,0.0,0.06615613846881911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061702871752690874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959762465749733,0.0,0.0,0.0669183096768349,0.0,0.045503114345931364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05468296792923719,0.0,0.1238941669544878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,mcndjxlefnd,2019/04/09,"For those that have taken Lamictal, at what dosage did you start to feel relief of depressive symptoms? I'm transitioning from lithium+wellbutrin therapy to hopefully just standalone lamotrigine. The wellbutrin seemed to lose it's effectiveness after taking it for a few years and the lithium wasn't enough to prevent depressive symptoms. I'm starting to feel better regardless of medications, and have been taking 25mg lamotrigine for a week now. It's unfortunate it takes so long to get up to a therapeutic dose on this medication, but I know it's worth it to be patient. I'm just curious when I'll be able to expect the lamotrigine to start affecting my mood vs therapy, diet, exercise, time outside, and all the other things I'm doing to get better.",8.368897058823531,9.04779986029412,8.826764705882349,62.057941176470614,61.42647058823529,12.682352941176472,38.32352941176471,12.161744961471696,5.270414705882351,615,29,96,20,8,205,88,136,0.063,0.825,0.112,0.8183,0,1,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,4,5,8,0,0,7,0,8,7,0,2,1,18,26,6,0,3,4,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,12,3,1,1,5,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,4,2,3,4,21,20,3,13,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,2,10,63,15,0,0.15915503067925246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815193820788353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27415998942377834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16444969151309904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16094713117007226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16630386929652885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807685663123053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746744259768366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084719383439842,0.0,0.1780537690498829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3206638989018093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14488876248547675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379522496436666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3308460324971953,0.3589943279485247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3640152961603715,0.0,0.1057355304053607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280457827992497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766456552743666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10249062165478699 bipolarreddit,chistar666,2019/04/09,Benzos Does anyone else have an extremely hard time getting their doctor to prescribe any benzodiazepines even with a history of it being effective and not causing any addictive problems in the past? Everywhere I go they treat me like an addict any time I mention that I’d like to have it for anxiety and panic to be use as needed.,9.338655913978492,8.278519854838713,9.408709677419354,64.41639784946238,60.1290322580645,12.782795698924732,40.021505376344095,11.855464076750405,5.007563440860215,269,12,43,7,3,89,50,62,0.134,0.7120000000000001,0.154,0.3415,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,2,1,1,5,0,1,4,0,4,3,0,3,0,9,8,3,0,2,1,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,5,3,8,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,28,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4521241196484047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4230526725840346,0.0,0.15863618479460442,0.0,0.0,0.14499673955154455,0.21247333286818304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130243702034456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122502458594196,0.18146940006239648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17322960888307548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13696480890524534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834137991046702,0.0,0.11785218583882975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18576126889506964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2026193572920867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15376096969370168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24330202448099014,0.0,0.0,0.1979565101643217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19842346100994374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418362510839281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909963410095728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,mainhub_j,2019/04/09,"Is this hallucination? (Small something crawling in the floor) I see something crawling on the floor in my peripheral vision but when i start looking at it directly it just vanish. Bipolar 1 Current state: 1. Alone for almost 2 years now 2. 18 years old 3. I left my friends and no familly support 4. Hopeless 5. Close to suicide. ( i'm not sad. I just know that i have to.) 6. I stopped drinking my meds and going to the doctor because i cant afford it. 7. Am i depress? Manic? Idk and i dont care anymore. 8. Dropped out of highschool but i still love learning different field of subjects. 9. Painful intrusive memories and thoughts 24/7 10. I cant focus at anything anymore 11. Its harder for me to read and comprehend 12. I can't think properly anymore 13. I only listen to soundtracks, classical music and watch films and tvseries. And also surf reddit and youtube everyday on repeat. 14. I'm afraid and no enough energy to get out and interact with people. 15. I'm always anxious. 16. Sleeping schedule is a mess. (Avg. 5 hrs a day) 17. My family doesn't believe or ignorant on mental illness. I dont want to go the doctor anymore because whats the point. I just want to know if i am heading to psychosis. Thank you.",0.4122468354430353,2.774585240506333,2.553661392405065,87.30720094936709,99.54852320675106,4.732869198312236,27.02204641350211,6.508806274219699,1.6080228691983134,950,50,173,14,40,318,155,237,0.181,0.715,0.103,-0.958,3,1,3,0,0,2,46.0,0,1,0,0,7,12,0,1,7,0,11,9,2,0,0,33,31,17,1,3,8,0,0,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,7,15,1,2,5,3,0,2,9,7,0,0,1,4,22,5,23,30,1,32,0,3,3,1,5,15,0,3,13,96,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181799714915333,0.12599591286341813,0.0,0.09728593233385698,0.1012251165273796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13743336482539986,0.4825887055344353,0.0,0.0,0.10011012777405018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14831718936627214,0.0,0.0,0.13706137372111207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240334332798776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845617911266634,0.0,0.10477962838628857,0.0,0.0,0.1271015867878322,0.0,0.24903418554060666,0.0,0.0,0.28515303153417537,0.11917371464574085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12570016216587904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146837066552346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939888757661548,0.0,0.06355871861797234,0.0,0.13827650938973304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485116753054835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371471381431915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13217643852640215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215795670993112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979666361903248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351291585597292,0.0,0.12259770187616788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12765445398195255,0.0,0.0,0.0925226570456694,0.12944746522388018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433893523804098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11500149205536253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216860113201686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09694176246349634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12174094667312442,0.0,0.0,0.18730898463838846,0.0,0.0,0.08610668343546024,0.0,0.09715231503231804,0.10170743072736367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306873565572575,0.1380504851797802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11200182090900827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795038810611284,0.0,0.0965789648893431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14350828912381944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566812031564352 bipolarreddit,AntMarktica,2019/04/09,"Everyone I just made this account recently for the sole purpose of helping people who need it. I want everyone out there to know that sometimes people just need somone to have a difficult conversation with. Talking out your feelings with someone who will actually hear you and not just wait for their turn to talk can do so much for your mental health. I know that not everyone has that relationship with someone, or can afford therapy -I know I didn't and couldn't- so I want to tell you that if you feel like you need someone to listen I will do it. Send me a message here and I will respond as soon as I can. I promise. Everyone deserves to be heard, and no one should feel shame for who they are and what they feel",4.177350649350649,5.897872371428572,4.713636363636365,83.9368181818182,71.71428571428572,7.948051948051948,29.870129870129876,8.575989854853784,2.265928571428572,572,24,111,10,11,182,82,140,0.057,0.873,0.07,-0.0516,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,6,3,0,8,4,0,1,3,0,15,1,0,1,0,33,33,11,0,8,7,0,4,1,0,4,1,3,0,0,11,10,0,1,7,0,1,1,5,2,0,1,3,7,20,2,18,24,1,5,0,0,0,0,24,2,0,2,3,87,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.13462008431692812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5272716169798645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790082842983981,0.09855208139654778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14663525297078794,0.15548058120734454,0.0,0.0924655155317814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274424612020009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673957942974845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13053238553394308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13902196328792638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140971320221777,0.3068663178963658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347903446839316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912754346773768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13620977568785358,0.14810753602987314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3506558037468726,0.0,0.1364368717945212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22175926031705845,0.120575082457117,0.0,0.15775876603348238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500508603517427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1627339158627658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,pipette_on,2019/04/09,"Stability and the fear of “what if” I had a major depressive episode in the winter of last year and it had taken me almost a full year to reach stability again, or maybe for the first time. It wasn’t until I had this episode that I was treated for bipolar II after a partial hospitalization and a more intense inquiry of my symptoms. I was prescribed mood stabilizers and an antipsychotic for the first time, and I can truly say I now know what stability feels like. So much so that I sometimes wonder if I can still identify with others on this sub. It’s days like today though that I get the sinking feeling of “what if it’s happening again”. After a conversation with my mom, she pointed how agitated and combative I was being and I realized over yesterday and today that I’ve been cocky, agitated, and jittery. I also realized that the weather just turned where I live and all these things are the early signs of a hypomanic episode for me and I can’t help but get hit with the fear of “am I ramping up again? Is it going to happen? What will happen to my job if I have an episode? What does it mean for my treatment if it doesn’t work?” I know that I’m most likely fine but the sudden fear just makes me realize that no matter how stable I feel, I always need to keep an eye out for the future. I don’t think we will ever be free as we need to be ever vigilant for bipolar to rear its ugly head again.",4.085565371024735,5.128981540636044,5.564542402826857,80.37027650176681,71.04946996466431,8.345512367491166,27.930918727915195,8.697196308434329,2.0237775265017657,1108,39,221,19,20,375,150,283,0.093,0.82,0.086,-0.7903,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,2,0,0,3,17,11,0,3,19,0,22,5,2,3,3,51,44,27,0,7,10,1,3,3,0,2,3,1,0,0,25,17,0,1,11,0,1,1,5,4,0,2,9,5,30,7,31,29,6,35,0,1,1,0,7,8,0,9,29,171,55,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12570354026334776,0.0,0.0,0.10038899340310913,0.10445382298874853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08095864076571731,0.0,0.10812171061643487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985510107053148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22710424643416796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4237798364979727,0.1904203364337449,0.08968106708356584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21355724667499715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117201286930874,0.0,0.07134350905583045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3330262427147049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12883345755049908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414237410121983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457250304313365,0.11157983024257727,0.0,0.0,0.13797971814608118,0.10232645408719183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18398779601283902,0.0,0.11084826864441784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379450156809318,0.0,0.12611514647415906,0.13674264506892322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702316979660324,0.0,0.0,0.0922814735491912,0.18616281158803166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11866961389314555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982917711716464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241557162333554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10025111420432936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304772408966063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339879531212238,0.08043671689859536,0.1233359020580584,0.0,0.14639903915596,0.0,0.2379819196186071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13654426251034804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613558862367475,0.09138979097514864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616787534716221 bipolarreddit,ladyroyalty,2019/04/09,"Doing very well, but I feel guilty about recent events. Any advice? Hi everyone, So I've been kicking life in the butt recently and I'm doing really well at work. I'm so proud of myself and I know that I have the energy to keep going and even push bad thoughts away. To put the situation into context, when I was first diagnosed with BPD I took a lot of time off work sick. I then decided to leave and help myself get better. I rejoined my job back in Feb and I think I surprised myself in thriving when I went back. So I work in a call centre and if you know what its like working in one, you'll know that diseases and sickness are a minefield. On Sunday night I came down with really bad flu and took Monday off. My team leader was fine with it as they know that this is something that's going round and tbf I sounded awful on the phone. I've also decided to take today off too as I'm not feeling much better. I guess I'm feeling pretty guilty about it because I've never had an absence from work since I went back. I'm feeling a little paranoid and worried that my TL might think I'm slipping back into old bad habits of staying of work. I know this is pretty trivial but it means a lot to me that I've improved so much. Just wondering if anyone had any advice about feeling a little less guilty about it?",3.0012380952380937,4.372060266666669,4.327248677248679,86.93833333333336,74.1111111111111,6.624338624338624,24.33862433862434,7.07126945348624,0.9371957671957674,1032,31,210,10,21,341,143,270,0.16899999999999998,0.682,0.14800000000000002,-0.5251,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,2,1,11,21,11,0,0,11,1,13,6,1,0,1,45,45,24,0,2,6,0,6,1,0,2,5,1,0,0,14,16,0,1,17,1,0,9,2,3,2,2,11,7,26,8,34,32,5,45,0,0,1,1,8,17,1,7,19,137,40,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17752434150152516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07264011111906331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354079983379493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351341454035625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534176115509005,0.27938370328237544,0.22752839567161864,0.05537171129460269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067101231265224,0.0,0.0,0.11440254895501255,0.0,0.09275191773692074,0.10389017520106164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09219484435738697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059995160665989325,0.0,0.0,0.08679601157480836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22964261201979305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726356049044995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04745714279790105,0.0,0.1032463868748966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000641591451465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060884278219539414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013896998744912,0.08073764854799323,0.0,0.0,0.2496006215059319,0.0,0.0,0.09618034765541968,0.0,0.0,0.0641589119503228,0.04437702279856461,0.18207954851813565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15444804986555885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989451193382878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636077715386078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354723990362366,0.0,0.07005696777130269,0.0,0.0,0.08524178355154555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953152578141588,0.0,0.06155163370404144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18482216077687488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131350256175502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638148371378695,0.0,0.17937571280506032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513902426768425,0.1021014946697886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992863783758135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681721690345564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829604609584491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11640583007151944,0.0,0.07211224246945408,0.05296617742400672,0.0,0.08610024116890995,0.0,0.20184037186707485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494776320991169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1633417859936496,0.16840850613895722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850586154573952,0.39677046336698296,0.0922465827236268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,luckystar22,2019/04/09,"Falling asleep itchy I have had this problem on and off for a while. Itchy feeling when falling asleep. Just small pinches from some random place to another. I've tried cool showers, lotions, washing bedding, new detergents, etc. At this point I think it is purely psychological, but haven't had much success trying to convince anyone it is real beyond my mind because of lack of rash or hives. Anyone else have similar issues from stress or anxiety? Maybe I just need to get that managed in general to relieve this.",6.1799539170506925,8.147017010752691,5.959170506912442,76.00161290322583,67.06451612903226,7.894930875576037,34.79109062980031,8.418075326091056,3.0985219662058365,414,20,65,6,7,129,72,93,0.227,0.691,0.08199999999999999,-0.924,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,1,1,7,4,3,0,1,17,11,6,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,6,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,2,2,4,4,14,9,4,13,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,4,3,44,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319553011250714,0.16922309550557474,0.0,0.0,0.3093467878958033,0.22665317592511364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348460097228386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18479044164084749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24670478281635305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184913440165786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155717638036533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308831086564712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22223261809508985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22335646762388048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16261292986494386,0.16402252293949554,0.0,0.2136435358211886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311147060028868,0.0,0.20911254295066653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21166565709146112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25178250914351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25339238917901474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174080344117204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3003706792886573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,onelongclimb,2019/04/10,"Doc told me to discontinue and I feel awful! Achy all over, the shits, periods of panic and depression. All within a week of the first reduction. Seems like discontinuation syndrome, but I’ve only been on 50mg sertraline for the last two years. When will this end (based on experience)?!",4.3309615384615405,7.022076326923081,5.712153846153848,72.63284615384616,74.19230769230771,9.544615384615383,25.784615384615392,9.888512548439397,2.9486876923076935,227,8,40,7,5,76,45,52,0.17,0.7979999999999999,0.032,-0.7494,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,1,4,1,2,1,1,0,2,7,5,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,2,1,2,1,8,2,2,11,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,1,8,25,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25818927721911256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26550499712860004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932301003513053,0.0,0.0,0.1515714366440902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549820514749609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443504923344313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464512409174792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279866641723959,0.0,0.3517125301272241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27289704046109364,0.0,0.0,0.3077069936993888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864406578043294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928292541050629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24045537767417266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19304041835137228 bipolarreddit,Bored1985,2019/04/10,"Stability doesn't mean it's time to get lazy. Stability isn't guaranteed in the future even if you are doing great now. Things happen in life that can change everything. It's important to practice all the good skills you have when you're doing well because you'll need them when life with BD gets hard. I have been inpatient free for 10 years. A recent hormonal change has brought me back to a place where I'm getting close to needing it. However, all the good things I've built up are really being put to use now. I'm glad I have that stability toolbox. I also know things can and will get better.",4.13985060690943,5.629138092436974,4.9364145658263325,83.22116713352008,71.43697478991595,8.650233426704013,25.827264239028946,9.150863307647796,1.9586967320261444,479,15,96,10,9,155,81,119,0.032,0.779,0.189,0.959,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,3,1,2,9,7,0,0,5,0,16,2,0,1,2,11,29,5,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,2,0,1,0,2,1,8,8,10,24,2,17,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,9,59,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380876156908113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277591696513705,0.0,0.10526068134531026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15271643076452132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3653331340054151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404977995937353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15518857210219833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3608608850126449,0.0,0.0,0.2896621054018236,0.0,0.1903740809947333,0.0,0.0,0.1526953578608774,0.0,0.15468230132831834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948973071976854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439300006580447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188092988889733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25607168585966583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18040794438624508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17358541520485682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11061961049491204,0.0,0.1704950895070293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441514972630551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068780237339316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913519774374845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15525497843451455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119662035612823 bipolarreddit,athendite12,2019/04/10,"BP friends? Due to my BP ups and downs I've lost as well as have had to cut out almost all my friends from my life because of toxicity in the friendship. I'm looking to form friendships if possible here with people who can relate. Feel free to message me if you're looking for a friend, a listening ear or even just to vent sometime.",5.355882352941176,5.286424588235295,5.963529411764708,82.58588235294121,67.82352941176471,8.564705882352943,34.64705882352941,8.07648339933343,2.4650470588235294,264,12,55,3,4,86,55,68,0.056,0.6859999999999999,0.258,0.9423,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,7,1,0,3,0,3,2,1,0,1,10,9,6,0,2,4,0,1,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,2,5,4,6,15,7,2,5,0,1,2,0,6,4,0,4,1,36,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25444504887149083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15489736894367245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678310516189607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12848089960580922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5889524860209531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17947877035114226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42676101883112816,0.0,0.2773808243953138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761613636787821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28646025025353106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25131199342905225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284669581039564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,4chanRedditcancer,2019/04/10,Looking for a psychologist again I had an unexpected emotional response after talking to the Behavioral Mental Health Receptionist. I immediately cried after getting off the phone. It was very strange. Going to my psychiatrist is a lot different. I don't get emotional about that.,6.822391304347825,10.510265152173917,8.006695652173919,54.04482608695656,71.3913043478261,11.50608695652174,39.63478260869565,10.793553405168565,6.334979130434784,231,14,29,9,5,78,39,46,0.107,0.82,0.073,-0.3597,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,4,0,7,6,1,5,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,3,24,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970467728065733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825342932985355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6083785555446535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825695272815966,0.0,0.15368752211343994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28744681513214737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227087063452979,0.0,0.0,0.2299038135625269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27252260129079386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21735562156017846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231271498078309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,vomitflavoredgum,2019/04/10,"Citalopram and menstruation question Details: I was put on 10mg of citalopram in the beginning of March. I had my last period on March 5th, then began spotting a few days after ovulation (I track my cycles). I am currently 10 days late, I took two HPTs at 3 days late, one came up faint but the next negative. My cycles are pretty regular, never exceeding more than a day or two since I was put on lamotrigine in September. My psychiatrist told me to stop taking the citalopram on April 2nd as I began experiencing psychosis - yay for trial and error. Anyway, still no sight of my period. I also have my tubes tied, so it is not likely that I am pregnant. Question: I know that SSRIs can cause disruptions to the menstrual cycle, but I'm wondering if anyone else here has gone through a similar situation and how long it took for your period to finally come back. I've tried looking this stuff up, but can't seem to find much of anything.",4.952436613665668,6.391011368715084,6.392290502793298,73.75755479157716,69.39106145251397,9.976966050709068,29.970348087666522,10.214889679676881,3.279114825956168,741,29,132,20,13,252,123,179,0.095,0.855,0.049,-0.8126,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,0,0,7,2,0,0,7,1,11,1,0,2,1,21,26,13,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,6,0,0,7,5,0,0,3,10,3,18,2,23,16,3,42,0,0,2,0,4,9,0,6,27,91,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898724418236376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529379722477993,0.1396403171591048,0.1121511268802524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479492466737968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587398915494197,0.0,0.14000246626847238,0.0,0.11739765272926793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3515707788552139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384881669262252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492938010325562,0.12456222547876306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489879479823003,0.1110906470905088,0.3074713370791226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658207628435484,0.0,0.0,0.12060813435956692,0.11444526362669025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018532062402928,0.0,0.10511156626195166,0.0,0.14494088156429866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235039469213134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386510679608188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274008584170052,0.3053412818437206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12406894917328475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273654540621328,0.15319030160514513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883755572155077,0.11394054949079567,0.0,0.0,0.1560139752224406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246952734333596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13022637165372347,0.3028357963065249,0.09252872091900917,0.0,0.2662617211430812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14779551160215884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,lissyh13,2019/04/10,"Wondering if I could be bipolar So when I was diagnosed with depression a few years ago my doctor told me to watch for any mania because of my family history with bipolar. I hadn’t had any issues until this year. I’ve always been moody and could change at the drop of a hat. But I never considered that abnormal for me. I had one experience a few weeks ago where I felt I could have been manic. I was at work and just in a great mood, nothing could shake me, overly peppy and talkative. I couldn’t focus very well, my mind was just jumping from thing to thing. My boyfriend who works with me pointed out that I wasn’t acting normal after I had already kind of noticed the elevated mood myself. I was trying not to fixate on it but once he pointed it out it started making me very anxious. Since then I’ve been keeping track of my moods with an app because my boyfriend also pointed out that it’s not the only time I’ve acted odd and I sometimes don’t notice it at all. I just started seeing a therapist and when I brought this up to her she told me the feeling has to last days to be mania. From what I’ve read hypomania doesn’t have to be long lasting. I’m just confused about whether I should be seeking a mood stabilizer because I have been struggling with mood swings. Any opinions would be very helpful for me!",4.937513873473918,5.4877263207547164,5.718091009988902,81.8310543840178,68.81132075471697,8.197558268590456,30.68257491675916,8.124751697461798,2.108711431742508,1045,40,205,13,17,342,142,265,0.07400000000000001,0.88,0.046,-0.7956,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,11,13,0,3,11,0,31,4,0,1,2,41,43,15,0,9,10,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,14,13,0,1,3,1,0,5,8,5,1,1,17,4,33,3,34,14,3,38,0,1,2,0,7,14,0,4,18,150,47,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19066267810533136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867756774193225,0.08600296279750998,0.08948529064821574,0.0,0.0,0.21940098896597404,0.0,0.0,0.1214942004323276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19667362094333696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376737796283128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434607912531118,0.0,0.0,0.06935703540678513,0.0,0.09262755946171684,0.1091549785268668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007592403420548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519874740268688,0.10138298847877893,0.0,0.05437751873999598,0.0,0.10325918301576384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856772907180906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208453062641483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224807983431027,0.0,0.09559012062977464,0.0,0.11199061113194676,0.0,0.17532555962035015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517312755469612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178650922475946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108588864535163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294462522319161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537036570318398,0.10319144629109282,0.2448792982493217,0.0,0.1145309365076554,0.07287465261304378,0.08179211979506562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049917538628588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757318405123344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569870885404082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896157521211373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636384609853826,0.0,0.15224050825156465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242842388447914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486696711126705,0.14289501761979956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06270981853340951,0.0,0.0,0.20552595637430093,0.0,0.07301537168499618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662053894934242,0.0,0.0,0.08626537489588375,0.0,0.09669504442982624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166269684247717,0.15658674376277787,0.0,0.0,0.07639622961985673,0.0,0.0,0.1385097245086737 bipolarreddit,AAAAAbirb,2019/04/10,"Can Abilify induce hypomania? TLDR: is it the Latuda or the Abilify making me temporarily hypomanic at night? Long version: I've been on Latuda for 3 years, with a 6 week break at the end of a pregnancy (to avoid neonatal withdrawal). Latuda made me feel like shit, but I took it because it's the ""safest"" during pregnancy, according to 2 psychiatrists I talked to. It made me anxious, nauseous, and kind of caused a sundowning effect where I got depressed at night (I called it the ""Night Dreads""). When I stopped taking it at the end of my pregnancy, I felt so much better, but I know I can't stay off medication. I started taking it again, but the side effects were so nasty that I couldn't deal with them with a newborn. My psychiatrist put me on Abilify, but I have to cross titrate. I can't just stop the Latuda. I'm down to 15 mg of Latuda a day, and I'm taking 2.5 mg of Abilify. I feel muuuuuch better during the day... more like my old self. However, my Night Dreads have gotten a lot more agitated and started feeling like a mild mixed state. So now I'm wondering which to blame - Latuda, or Abilify? The nausea accompanying it sure feels like Latuda. I've been down to 15 mg of Latuda for about a week. I'm debating dropping it completely tomorrow and taking the full 5 mg of Abilify. I'm worried about mania... I have a 5 week old to think about. Can I get some opinions? I'm loathe to give up the Abilify, since I feel so much better during the day now. I have a psychiatrist appointment soon, but in the meantime, I'd like to hear what you guys think.",3.6278679653679653,5.164922133116888,5.390974025974028,79.2695562770563,72.79870129870129,8.8995670995671,27.768398268398272,9.408791572840183,2.4922917748917754,1219,46,239,29,24,417,147,308,0.122,0.768,0.11,-0.6946,1,1,0,0,0,0,53.0,0,1,1,5,14,15,1,3,24,0,13,2,1,7,1,40,44,16,0,1,8,0,6,5,0,0,1,1,0,3,12,7,0,3,13,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,9,7,27,10,36,34,8,47,0,1,0,0,10,14,1,6,31,141,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144383065063072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060134726946805925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617376425919679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10073033894919564,0.0,0.0,0.10133836948164922,0.0,0.0,0.1034302445824967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908588314701208,0.10170145494411792,0.08496512601836162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17474517751092974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493962250089896,0.2114218260913664,0.094717269336169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05153935569453007,0.09463187002022627,0.0,0.0,0.0788975834188096,0.0,0.0,0.09767673990873163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118313597841227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272640716213496,0.054214200244431736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24097143526102136,0.0,0.0,0.08730011697640036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386675333833646,0.0,0.1866856922930176,0.06584811084460064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937718715628302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450348312945637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3702967640684477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20702834962146266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09916819283211936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291107330740837,0.0,0.1012604542605088,0.08160240313589602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13964671037284246,0.10514533082177813,0.0,0.16494780143513227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09297429697888557,0.0,0.29668319706928953,0.07928929067168597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264189356388816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10960123287946327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23738772213077544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697923087831883,0.0,0.1001815355560801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352588941151988 bipolarreddit,netvoyer,2019/04/11,"I somehow nailed my phone interview so well they offered me three bucks more than the starting rate. I’m very happy about it because it’s something I can be proud of, make decent money and keep work at part time which suits my needs perfectly. For two days I’ve just been smiling and laughing and crying haha. Anyway wanted to share.",3.626458333333332,6.0472645625000006,3.6887500000000015,87.61458333333336,75.25,5.516666666666668,24.729166666666664,6.42735559955562,0.8845604166666665,268,9,48,2,6,82,57,64,0.039,0.637,0.324,0.9696,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,3,6,7,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,1,10,9,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,6,7,6,7,2,4,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,3,31,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18514624294583631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3336245909936014,0.19587570207690308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233179450867966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699622594904227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027369366579679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252061736432788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3289015608507136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23382019929028697,0.0,0.0,0.21497614671259788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17710286577711926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29669247105763635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506026353724397,0.17914323131653215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730827464577104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22111338951109247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,edgy_emo_fgt,2019/04/11,"How do you live with yourself? A'ight, the title is a bit harsh but it's a question I've been asking myself that for the last month or two. I'm 23 and got diagnosed January 2018, and that's when I started on my medication. I got the diagnosis after a massive manic episode, and in that manic state I actually thought I had finally found joy in life, and an end to my depression for good. A conclusion to my struggles ect ect. But that conclusion was ripped apart as I got the diagnosis. My so called happiness was taken away from me. (but being manic was of course very bad for my health since I hardly ever ate and I did reckless shit. You know classic mania 101) When I started on the meds I kept telling myself that one day I'll be stable and then I will find a new and better conclusion/happiness. But it's been a year and I'm loosing my patience because I simply don't feel better than what I did before my manic episode, before the aggressive depression that lasted a year, even before there even was a build-up to that depression. (I'm starting to tear up as I write this) I can't live with my own thoughts. They always focus on the pessimistic side of things. And even in bright times they seem to spiral down into some negative memory that involves either depression or mania. (all my memories of the mania has turned negative because it's now clear to me how much of an asshole I was, and all the bad/irresponsible shit I did that had consequences on behalf of my friends and people I knew). And these spiraling thoughts always come out of nowhere. Whenever I take my meds I get reminded of the fact that I will be taking them for the rest of my life. That I'll never be ""Normal"" and that I might not get to a state where I can call myself happy. ... Yeah back to the question... How do you guys live with this? How do you cope with the fact that we're not normal? Just... How?",3.219747096774192,4.974805736,4.483475268817205,84.46397419354841,74.30666666666667,7.6120430107526875,25.43010752688172,8.360895534625662,1.6548339784946235,1481,50,294,26,31,488,185,375,0.147,0.745,0.108,-0.9586,0,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,0,4,3,4,17,17,3,1,24,1,27,8,2,5,7,61,54,30,0,2,10,0,2,0,1,3,5,0,0,1,21,20,1,1,13,0,0,1,7,9,0,2,23,3,46,8,41,24,8,39,0,4,1,0,17,15,2,7,21,210,67,0,0.0,0.0,0.08675334917960541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794345642093004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310928206935747,0.0,0.08352425801119971,0.06835843378798669,0.14845518511087616,0.10838494631689972,0.0,0.22694146321404,0.0,0.0,0.1572492400635466,0.09705552132269547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815532045094216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657927801780992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057332995573128966,0.0,0.306276958086292,0.09023139273414804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07873880719710008,0.0,0.0,0.17615237409208062,0.08041492935342498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044950393610580015,0.0,0.0,0.09738534996072756,0.08125277698228818,0.0,0.0,0.0974740065270108,0.06868373988090824,0.0,0.0928929186807582,0.0,0.0,0.07456490719698243,0.2133037957654268,0.0,0.0,0.08802474667243808,0.0,0.2839063669126767,0.0796367300276422,0.0,0.0,0.09449629576123283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0488569873137047,0.1449303516883958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255850697929261,0.0,0.0,0.2355003703880345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974952014520122,0.08955716307306137,0.0,0.09430860465291382,0.0,0.0,0.07095894630224799,0.0,0.06535155808492803,0.0,0.06856498122857861,0.08585994946578804,0.0,0.0,0.17420579397511618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06024078323348011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616319052920124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19917617063901707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093100953244031,0.0,0.0,0.1825086677246993,0.07353880637919714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18877113910171464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09293733924838596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336831229645631,0.0,0.07770231525138506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059061055338999364,0.0,0.0,0.21172945569423504,0.05183816936927437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669741887955448,0.08684215525134266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0733516185625799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144970712129691 bipolarreddit,Paranoiadestroyer,2019/04/11,"My new subreddit (mostly) for people experiencing mental health issues in the UK! Hello all! I'd like to introduce [My brand new subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/MentalHealthUK/). As someone from the UK who has dealt with mental health issues for years, I've noticed a lack of active UK spaces and would like to try and change that if there is the demand for it. Anyone is welcome to participate but I would prefer it if people who are not from the UK only talk about their specific healthcare processes/systems if relevant to a comments discussion rather than promoting it - just so we dont get swamped out due to uneven population. I'm hoping it can be a sub where people can either ask questions, give support, vent or promote their own blogs or work if related to mental health/therapy. My inbox is always open too! Thanks for reading if you got this far 🙂",8.14222222222222,8.531749662420385,7.973842887473463,68.96455767869783,61.92993630573248,10.544656758669495,33.36801132342533,10.25414643259724,3.4997365888181173,695,25,112,14,9,223,111,157,0.018000000000000002,0.8220000000000001,0.16,0.9722,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,1,1,2,3,7,6,0,0,7,0,11,2,0,0,1,26,19,12,0,11,12,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,8,6,19,15,5,10,0,0,0,0,14,6,0,10,6,75,16,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494000995256705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658772832402407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913827943864664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461293075163747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618940703994033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217022811276448,0.1325123986139012,0.0,0.0,0.11047977833928704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4404955286852507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13719996835530984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883556687329018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13497230003823188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4176250388409417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26682473655464545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572684671082079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505846262761012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872978087319062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547436540243224,0.0,0.13817313165004105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704197283824865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15675481229235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102828348477356,0.0,0.1271768396187027,0.15797026895139032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378510688595704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056447130114242,0.0,0.0,0.1962553472025856,0.0,0.0,0.08895489414087136 bipolarreddit,cozykayles,2019/04/11,sometimes I can’t talk right i don’t know if this is a common symptom with other people but I swear sometimes I feel like I mix up my words and I can’t talk right with my medication. does anyone else experience this?,1.1773333333333331,3.5164809555555583,3.128888888888892,88.66000000000004,83.8888888888889,5.377777777777778,20.11111111111111,6.742157984588678,0.3149111111111109,173,5,36,2,5,58,31,45,0.035,0.879,0.087,0.4497,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,2,0,0,0,8,6,3,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,8,1,3,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,22,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16832462982396582,0.24665723666005146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21066521691697346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20109976182897865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354809950316372,0.0,0.0,0.12172076699003262,0.17197819005578238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229939697895549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176089490592861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425110372368061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16689248259296835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4111657154461784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.476177995139056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25021156039503323,0.0,0.3869807281287186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,doublybiguy,2019/04/11,"Riding the wave. All aboard the hypomania train toot toot Went to therapy today, was told I’m hypomanic right now. I think it’s probably and exaggeration, but holy crap I feel so good right now. How can I be hypomanic if I felt like shit literally two days ago I don’t understand. I’m also on abilify and an SNRI , but I may or may not have forgotten to take my meds a couple days ago I should really get a pill case thing. Like 90% sure I took it. Anyone else go from feeling like shit to hypomania in 2 days flat?",-0.03421383647798848,2.3113743207547195,3.0848679245283037,85.53214465408806,93.52830188679243,7.35496855345912,18.3874213836478,8.238735603445708,1.2506976100628928,402,12,88,12,15,143,77,106,0.115,0.696,0.189,0.6797,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,5,8,3,0,5,0,8,4,3,1,2,18,21,9,0,2,5,0,3,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,5,0,0,4,2,3,0,1,5,3,9,5,6,12,1,16,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,4,11,45,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939144574319686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257714828807446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115919803096074,0.1698649706567419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834364876789674,0.0,0.3207502742526265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13849099099912907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16765041880019327,0.1184358934811516,0.15917833029797318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661512986582533,0.0,0.0942186853244559,0.1390514844838791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429805946678084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18414829423576629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787428457994862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10620526997142496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831567122661886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3403491284613509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562491555916881,0.0,0.12464869465710085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895880852529,0.0,0.11013930988175023,0.1062274875219604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15714354321924862,0.15841340989285616,0.18419176746357332,0.0,0.0,0.16194656517948944,0.17258665662871486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15368313145034695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,funferret7,2019/04/11,"Does exercising help? Hey, I know that exercising can be helpful for people with depression, anxiety and other mental health problems. Has anyone here been able to maintain a workout routine and has it helped with your bipolar at all? If so what kinds of exercise have helped the most? Cardio? Lifting? Thanks!",4.483827493261456,7.915647679245282,4.50625336927224,76.24056603773586,81.64150943396227,6.8021563342318085,30.21293800539083,7.957251820313856,2.9318862533692718,249,12,36,5,7,77,48,53,0.129,0.7140000000000001,0.157,0.4245,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,0,6,6,0,0,1,9,8,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,2,6,6,2,1,0,1,0,0,6,1,0,2,0,27,6,0,0.2458412796420961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18806790602903053,0.0,0.0,0.17189793882021798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21174273392098147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21513736050994664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613177842030374,0.0,0.0,0.6591289105293195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560058616718778,0.13510793798640067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477501873931654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17043538899995098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352369030274507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263376204768538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,peachpearl1994,2019/04/11,"Latuda Anger Has anyone experience severe bouts of explosive anger when starting Latuda? My spouse was on Latuda a few years back. It worked amazing like a miracle drug but our insurance wouldn't cover it after the office ran out of samples. We have different insurance now so its covered but it doesn't seem to be working like it did last time. Also, we are on week two of taking it every night. She doesn't sleep and gets super angry a few times a day.",2.8876388888888904,5.427609556818184,4.180151515151515,82.50828282828284,78.43181818181819,6.638383838383841,22.277777777777786,7.793537801064563,1.3222308080808085,363,11,64,6,9,119,67,88,0.112,0.7340000000000001,0.154,0.6369,1,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,3,0,0,3,5,6,2,0,5,0,9,2,1,0,0,8,14,6,0,1,2,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,3,1,5,4,8,9,2,16,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,14,44,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850443746159246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16179490769333155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17792643023022836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922891984873202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24175575106927316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683416578752777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19495803044735274,0.0,0.0,0.2263461140209977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12089294984285355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18861564461750155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22609322327762724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171460407403236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106509003072903,0.0,0.26140748652339185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23155945368309985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16378069268932746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397824623136324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26985347423702605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260366983435207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18560898170684026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3369127659118993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14900908361888202 bipolarreddit,Yas-Qween,2019/04/11,"It's my cake day and I just want to send love to the kind and wonderful people of this sub. Hang in there, everyone. I grew up with a toxic family, was depressed on and off since I was a kid, life-long ED, trauma, bipolar 2, med-induced psychosis, MASSIVE episode that lasted 2 years... now I've been stable for over a year and it is like nothing I ever dreamed of. It took me 3 years to get my meds right and 2 rounds of DBT (plus I've been in therapy for 5 years and counting) to learn how to regulate my emotions and cope in general. It's a long haul but it's possible. I'm not cured and I'm still dealing with some shit. I probably always will be. But I think I can actually do this. I think a good life is actually be possible for me. Not to be nauseatingly positive (I know that can be hard to palate) but... I think a good life is possible for you folks too. I'm sorry you (we) all have to deal with this nightmare of a disorder. Hang in there. I'm rooting for you.",1.0815661103979473,2.8251992926829312,3.468626444159181,89.41148908857511,80.46341463414635,7.242618741976894,23.9602053915276,8.20500826718156,1.325439024390244,745,27,171,15,19,258,114,205,0.078,0.8,0.122,0.8271,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,1,3,0,0,8,8,1,0,8,0,16,5,1,2,2,32,29,13,0,1,6,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,1,10,13,0,0,6,1,0,5,2,3,0,0,5,2,19,5,29,19,2,24,0,1,1,1,9,9,1,2,11,105,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.2376995547677773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10133929714130342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07854467666154076,0.2511209305767299,0.10489781844332467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13958225053839401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13699771001170707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11016631106897357,0.0,0.11637586363296422,0.0,0.0,0.1148130683836492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363041202531011,0.0,0.0,0.2043038731026888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091001987228312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682586977508808,0.06693277113555336,0.0992753605320398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25807230029924144,0.059500595245572524,0.0,0.0,0.21556118962719892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099205128265107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705631649835591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686109038013635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443406845925645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4119008369769268,0.0,0.0,0.13131055674010222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400826216586127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501600649908925,0.1007462057649199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13633428469638806,0.0,0.0,0.09726190157916592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927783746810982,0.0,0.0,0.2341149453879453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13531351939935815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183508230304278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320763996213607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31371587502855 bipolarreddit,wegotthekey,2019/04/12,"Does the stomach upset from latuda ever go away? I’ve been on it around 15 days, and I am so so sick. I’ve been taking it with 350+ calories. Please tell me this stops.",-0.256351351351352,1.659507081081081,1.7310135135135134,99.12733108108112,86.2972972972973,3.7,14.655405405405405,3.1291,-1.367048648648649,130,2,31,0,4,43,31,37,0.222,0.721,0.057,-0.7677,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,3,2,1,0,1,5,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,5,3,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3310429641069537,0.0,0.0,0.3493839194989139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398252577983716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3254257690781644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33637752519705777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113421778049463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40820137138951207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108998050895657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795998107876125,0.0,0.3250305971353724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Everythingisfake_,2019/04/12,It’s like having a middle life crises every few weeks When I clean my room I just flash back to all my projects and passions that I just NEEDED to pursue completely. All the emptied bank accounts. Long hours working on it then losing interest when I spiraled down. Nothing but scrap and shame to show for it,4.188135593220338,6.307446796610176,4.0120000000000005,87.31562711864406,72.5593220338983,6.07593220338983,27.0542372881356,6.742157984588678,1.2382989830508475,247,9,45,2,5,75,47,59,0.122,0.752,0.126,-0.1857,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,2,5,5,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,8,2,6,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,3,6,2,3,11,0,1,0,1,0,4,0,0,8,31,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594073491524831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3537132686243105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842385238038952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33222950921674216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23828581378233496,0.16481599624041002,0.0,0.0,0.29855106551911664,0.0,0.3774171215085629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501465579759656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.323703938645487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27060810392903123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24560051979840344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,iamtheq73,2019/04/12,"I feel like it is time I thought about creating a throwaway for this but I guess it just doesn't matter. I have bp1 with PTSD. I'm going through a mixed episode right now, have been for a few weeks. I thought I could keep it under control, but that didn't work well. I'm in a foul temper, everything is going wrong all the time. I'm knocking shit over constantly. I'm tired but I can't sleep. I can't handle crowds or noise and I work in a loud, crowded building. I can't focus. I just feel like I'm falling apart. My brain is unleashing a torrent of self loathing like I haven't experienced in a long time. I know this is hard on my family. My wife and kids are worried, and tired of dealing with my sorry ass. I just don't want to keep doing this. I was misdiagnosed until the age of 40 (6 yrs ago), so I've spent most of my life riding this damn roller coaster and I don't know if I can keep doing it. I do feel like it is time to just exit stage left. I'm miserable and I'm making others miserable. I feel an exhaustion so deep that I don't think it will ever end. I don't know if I really have the guts to go through with a suicide, but I do know that the idea is very inviting right now. I have a plan that I know will be successful. I'm scared of what that would do to my children and there is still a very tiny part of me that wonders if things can get better. I'll work on making until tomorrow.",0.9398231966053744,2.6364026039603985,2.8059347006129194,94.2195668316832,80.71617161716172,6.0447430457331475,21.0524516737388,7.021680442328713,0.31794021687883056,1091,31,257,13,28,364,147,303,0.219,0.7,0.081,-0.9924,1,0,0,0,0,1,31.0,0,0,0,7,13,15,3,3,15,0,36,9,5,3,2,49,69,18,1,6,12,1,5,4,0,3,4,1,0,3,19,9,0,4,14,1,1,5,10,8,1,0,6,7,32,7,27,58,4,36,0,2,0,1,7,13,3,7,21,159,51,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942189890608268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400418622380788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865393237564673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486089743446393,0.11921240913721826,0.08486330113338261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095795287424865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941407092562805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096144693494975,0.0,0.0,0.09552590614297554,0.0,0.10020002632249714,0.0,0.2149721128112204,0.2277991409434384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05553173562562326,0.0,0.18121985613379024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708956973900107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09521427253636733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998760283428404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834242533286229,0.0,0.0,0.29206890487456205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548355913690647,0.0,0.0750752263284284,0.20771019514568329,0.0,0.0,0.09406262361432598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189777243401527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510087802481543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424642167901526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809160227823112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18154084292830644,0.0,0.0,0.10641406130002863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11088284746374233,0.0,0.10910436693569074,0.0,0.0,0.10636599057479107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898209069362654,0.0,0.0,0.08488271618909586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626316592197927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061384134407624,0.06810584666191437,0.0,0.16876355162121895,0.24791241852342494,0.24432766767324354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753994921282411,0.06269214157391774,0.0,0.08525880884934578,0.0,0.09556678238136224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526613568430405,0.2321394755008917,0.10794187222755,0.0,0.07550481923751412,0.116210587184344,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,itmaywork,2019/04/12,"Fucking thrilled with myself Last year I royally fucked up my life. Got my car repossessed. Lost my apartment, thankfully eviction free. Still have last months rent in collections. You can guess how that haunts me now. Oh and I stopped going to school during my last semester of undergrad. I fully believed I could start a business with no job to sustain my income. Only deliveries for various on demand services. Yippee! Got accepted to finish undergrad in the fall today. Cool. But I can't escape the feeling of how much I fucked up and how I'm still struggling to get some things right. Even though I'm correctly medicated now, I still keep fucking up. Still doing delivery driving with different car. Can't bring in enough to pay even the smallest of bills. I'm just trying to piece shit together one day at a time, but swear I'm one snarky reminder about a bill away from blowing up. 2018 is continually haunting me right now and I'm overwhelmed. Just want to find a regular job...",3.6671009490940487,6.445995278688525,4.222053494391719,81.947471958585,77.08743169398906,7.568478573482888,28.757262007477713,8.532816995589336,2.54764043715847,788,35,138,17,19,249,119,183,0.14800000000000002,0.7859999999999999,0.066,-0.8702,7,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,1,0,1,16,13,5,2,7,1,7,7,1,3,1,23,28,9,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,6,0,2,3,0,5,6,3,8,0,2,3,2,16,6,26,24,5,38,0,2,0,4,1,13,5,2,19,86,18,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612524101363128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392536419650994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868366927597334,0.0,0.0,0.0797110694245295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129134550305638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277107101875342,0.0,0.16327182372832974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062495320712531985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296716109504196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4570607885880529,0.06457532713919019,0.0,0.07024410673835088,0.0,0.19770667254584634,0.0,0.13615812985672654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24530568558318755,0.10986038686817486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022488152678095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730156271164806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13492280668392714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451289474444445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986554677362947,0.0,0.09085941753844724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16750763522855308,0.09400253775446248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21110558114467645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508869171750386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12687250106289835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748394197713172,0.0,0.3948249846413751,0.10333421998612913,0.0,0.12921241297273536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137932668035109,0.0,0.0,0.08211362122894965,0.0,0.12143529780764298,0.0,0.07207151616845546,0.0,0.11715731104847382,0.0,0.0,0.08391554407285376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290183722124079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959364325138986 bipolarreddit,psychedelic666,2019/04/12,"DAE feel like you’re wasting your life when depressed and then have to “make up for lost time” when manic and do EVERYTHING? I constantly worry I’m wasting my time/youth doing the wrong thing or nothing at all. I just got out of a ~3 month episode where I barely left bed or talked to anyone. I’m better now but I have so much boundless energy/drive that I don’t know where to direct it. I know this is irrational thinking — I’m about to graduate from college and I’m on track to grad school. I do things with friends. I travel. But I worry I’m going to look back at my early twenties and be like “you spent your youth doing THAT?” Then when I’m manic I kinda go off the rails and do things I didn’t even want to do but felt compelled to. It’s wack. Anyone else feel this way sometimes?",2.11836236933798,3.758746585365856,3.296864111498259,92.29012195121956,77.04878048780488,5.905226480836237,21.470383275261323,6.5431188927421005,0.26710418118466883,616,16,134,5,14,199,100,164,0.12,0.7929999999999999,0.087,-0.6298,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,0,2,11,7,0,0,3,0,12,1,0,2,1,24,32,16,0,1,6,0,3,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,9,7,0,0,6,1,1,3,2,3,0,0,5,4,16,4,19,26,2,25,0,2,1,0,5,9,0,3,14,83,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324721818445399,0.17032844817206627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12782523885681069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702225136927624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17964208205478316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431788411256647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388688644368068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979732392811477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14940221653313446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681078538984845,0.11875904647392956,0.1596126492557592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12843353730259194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889515230607066,0.0,0.13295413178201332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18271793916659326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18061592299753204,0.0,0.11741741767312965,0.16242904571273173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13959638985900266,0.0,0.1814662539130456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110963834726812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268800581716186,0.0,0.12220260264855165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15950794536637242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682397279656007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644116752136977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13361421660923092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3313194768003735,0.10651732981131223,0.0,0.0,0.19386712112446894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980503120937014,0.13195041565994187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3376414968185724,0.0,0.0,0.1817529925753526,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,ChalkdustBowie,2019/04/12,"I swore to myself I would never get into another relationship after this wretched illness destroyed my marriage, and literally eliminated each of my friendships like a world class sniper. Found someone finally.... And then I’m told today that all too familiar, “I deserve better, you are not emotionally available, I’m very needy and you’re not here even when you’re here.” Pink slipped back into absolute loneliness. Fuck.",5.442499999999999,8.841012694444448,5.783888888888893,69.62500000000003,74.83333333333334,8.6,34.0,9.188382445141503,4.1110500000000005,342,18,48,9,8,109,58,72,0.189,0.71,0.101,-0.7841,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,6,4,2,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,12,8,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,1,7,2,5,5,2,10,0,0,1,1,4,3,1,0,8,32,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28639350512920697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100148935549857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415552886712853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072268556560779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803953077155286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2991931320318157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994655080694042,0.0,0.2524980113508022,0.1426956071672013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343420693236474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21064946103036852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932321195536439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23141641387228856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588888724962065,0.26098093650733856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22535525626997904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19401889574968484,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,sparklerose01,2019/04/12,"Bipolar or just depressed? I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was 17 (I'm 22 now) and used to have rapid cycling. In the past two months I lost my insurance and ran out of medication for a little more than a month, but I haven't noticed a difference between taking my medication or not. It seems like the pills didn't make a difference like they weren't working. The only thing I've noticed is being maybe a little more cranky and annoyed. Am I not bipolar anymore? Sorry for rambling it was a little hard to get all the words out.",3.946132075471698,5.3746571509433965,5.051084905660378,82.44851415094342,71.83018867924528,7.564150943396226,30.23113207547169,8.07648339933343,2.1393622641509435,422,18,81,6,8,139,69,106,0.146,0.84,0.013,-0.9024,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,1,2,3,5,1,0,10,0,10,7,0,2,1,17,18,7,0,0,6,0,1,2,0,0,7,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,3,0,1,7,1,8,2,11,10,3,12,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,3,7,57,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791514388164535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13714610311206651,0.1616169099913324,0.0,0.33272664917357897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319203562275601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14264040306684306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558521410409587,0.4787762408391144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17382030315971006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628845295511898,0.0,0.15996973025794234,0.0,0.0,0.3208185427460521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541945832843181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36257288525012266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211029477658296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520047562524693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14495863675350346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782469468302896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197224856939809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578652257800918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554631668007007,0.0,0.0,0.13752513723253698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592263593508825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,jaydenh,2019/04/12,"Lithium and mood stabilisation. Hey guys, I have been diagnosed with bipolar affectivw disorder and put on lithium, for 2 weeks no, i'm on 500mg and it pretty much has no effect, also on latuda(anti-psychotic, 1 month) 40mg and seroquel IR (3 months) 200mg (sleep). It almost feels like my hypomania can't be stopped with this combo. Wouldn't a significant amount of my dopamine be blocked at this point? How can I be constantly hypomanic for 6 days and be on lithium, my friend tried 250mg and was FLOORED. He said he felt extremely dedated and drunk, clurring his words etc and sleeping for like 12-14 hours, I'm lucky to get 7 hours sleep myself.. I understand i'm tolerant to seroquel and probably getting used to latuda but this is rediculous, I've had serious arguments with rind, coworkers and family due to my expansive mindset and irritability/rages. (usually at retards at work, or stupid people in public, Iwould like to believe its justified, since theyre retards, but even that sound slike a hypomanic thing to say. Anyway, send your xperiences to this space, I'm keen to get an idea of how other people xperience such combinations, especially the lithium side of things, thanks for taking the time to read this :)",6.563733333333335,7.8105956844444515,6.989777777777778,71.66600000000003,65.48888888888888,10.977777777777774,35.444444444444436,10.93419730881044,4.236511111111112,979,46,169,28,15,319,152,225,0.084,0.784,0.132,0.9024,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,1,0,2,6,10,1,0,5,0,13,6,3,4,0,31,27,17,0,1,3,0,2,3,1,1,2,3,0,1,12,14,1,2,5,2,0,2,4,2,0,0,5,5,10,7,27,17,3,25,0,0,0,0,11,12,0,3,14,91,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13797168306872046,0.0,0.0,0.11018654170267804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15523640889333207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488965373131803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885986744685863,0.0,0.0,0.1398487819753782,0.0,0.0,0.15791344248857453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366659499010654,0.0910056327122968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12989134937433267,0.0,0.06966818980922597,0.09843356630207983,0.13229511990580334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645227866712946,0.0,0.2159607837914731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1364287221200446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713807608156101,0.0,0.0,0.15554239067936648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20194423981070256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199571991504925,0.0,0.1012877616252463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910454139016717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025127473459475,0.0,0.0,0.14017678671113515,0.14855543573727664,0.0,0.0,0.13851188968511813,0.0,0.0,0.13782219524760694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13106500059508036,0.1095720896751598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11397710030205264,0.0,0.4136532459232047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519435326840945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10359710379480594,0.0,0.0,0.1268538319395993,0.0,0.0,0.18307634185975769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034348829664922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354690856462336,0.0,0.0,0.14343894919676933,0.0,0.11900192210084015,0.15175061082171892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052274269715806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100309054539941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,tortillasalami,2019/04/12,"Good Vibes Request On the job hunt again. Totally scared shit-less because of my inability to stay stable in previous positions, but I have to keep at it, right? Thank you!",2.5874999999999986,5.490152750000004,3.7550000000000026,82.39000000000001,84.0,8.200000000000001,26.75,8.841846274778883,2.758537500000001,136,6,25,4,4,44,31,32,0.11,0.6940000000000001,0.197,0.4846,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,6,3,1,6,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,15,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22084690818316915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038693060800244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3595141338982605,0.3220175002527268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3093912804584377,0.0,0.0,0.362712678351952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3718825939700124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3861499403236181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3335453694117048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Lileelace,2019/04/13,"What are you good at? I was just thinking today as I work on a painting and deal with soul sucking depression that I AM extremely talented. I’ve gotten full ride scholarships for Art school, I have won state awards, I don’t think I’ve ever not gotten into a juried show, I rule. I know how easy it is to get caught up in your negative qualities (especially with mental illness) but what are your strengths?",4.351054852320671,5.9180357721519,5.22854430379747,81.02779535864978,71.0253164556962,8.810970464135021,28.356540084388186,9.2995712137729,2.486213502109704,322,12,61,7,6,105,64,79,0.06,0.755,0.185,0.8297,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,4,3,7,1,0,2,0,7,1,0,1,1,12,16,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,2,1,2,3,2,0,0,5,0,10,5,10,11,1,11,1,1,0,0,4,6,1,0,2,41,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34342226185006364,0.2869075547801595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013174858829585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17403646896335934,0.0,0.0,0.27939725312628066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830687995817295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3356969995854765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3371255737789142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4268874702101134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3157497705612715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24250838532852614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,BigPudge,2019/04/13,"My brother is having a manic episode, I'm flying over tomorrow so I can bring him back to America. How should I approach this? My brother is vacationing in a South Asian country for a month with his wife but he's Manic and it's hurting relationships with not only his wife but other relatives. My uncle passed away Thursday, and he had a traumatic heartbreak which what probably heightened his mania some more. He even beat his my nephew (same age as me) out of anger, and then apologized but went back to physical violence. I am really scared, that he would go to violence, he's a sweet nerdy guy who would never hurt anything, which has surprised and stressed me out. I just bought the plane ticket just now. I want to bring him over to America, have him change his return flight from April 30 to earliest possible so he can see his psychiatrist. How should I approach him about this? He has the exact same symptoms as listed here , so Its specific to bipolar https://www.verywellmind.com/symptoms-of-mania-380311",6.239120879120879,8.350274010989018,5.9481318681318704,75.57186813186816,67.13186813186813,9.156043956043957,30.582417582417587,9.606745405546679,3.013325274725275,818,32,138,18,14,254,116,182,0.189,0.741,0.07,-0.9828,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,1,13,8,1,2,7,0,14,2,0,2,2,26,22,15,0,5,6,5,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,10,8,0,0,0,1,1,7,2,6,0,0,3,2,22,2,21,15,4,25,0,3,1,0,26,7,0,1,11,100,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16649132501120234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900853909262032,0.3111416950977303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21402670979040855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13362981281989594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11498256858777167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20032765068283265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4331734174084006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16148912146894667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560409104015571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15387274102634324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280843100991168,0.0,0.0,0.21813413608922705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961075286520085,0.0,0.0,0.21721492507181075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20255664632743964,0.0,0.16122207453272705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317557681118655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21028694129408226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11933300724698885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18755177003288434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.287443271677975,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Alwayslearning-,2019/04/13,"A day in the mixed episode from hell...I’m getting worn down. *I apologize for the long post...I don’t know if I just need to get this off my chest because I don’t have anyone to talk to right now, or if I need to share in hope of being reassured by other BP folk that it will get better...all I know is I feel like I can’t do this anymore* I’m at a loss here guys...I’ve been in a horrible, predominantly manic mixed episode for two weeks now. My stress tolerance is zero. I wake up energetic and motivated but that quickly turns into me being irritable, irrational and frantic. It’s become so predictable and routine in the last two weeks I know how it goes. Every day around noon something small will set me off. It’s like this overwhelming amount of intense, frantic emotion has been building up all morning and then it’s just too much. Suddenly I’ll be having a panic attack or bawling because of an overwhelming sense of despair and heartbreak. It physically breaks me down. As soon as it happens, it ruins any chance of getting any more work done for the day (I work from home, self-employed). Inevitably I force myself to take my “I give up” pill...Klonopin...and sit there crying, shaking and paranoid until it kicks in. Then I lay in bed. I avoid my phone or computer because the slightest reminder of the responsibilities I have and am shirking sends me spiralling into a cycle of self/hatred, panic and desperation to be rid of these expectations and responsibilities. This meltdown lasts until I am emotionally exhausted and end up just laying there...numb...except for the twinge of the feeling that suicidal ideation brings. I don’t know what feeling it is...relief that there could be a way out? That is quickly followed by a wave of guilt and hopelessness that hits me like a fucking brick for thinking of putting my family through that after everything they’ve done for me. Sometimes by supper time, the whole ordeal is over and now I’m just depressed...it’s more manageable depression though. The kind that blinds me from seeing any hope in the future at all, but that I can at least watch a meaningless tv show to distract myself. By 8:00 my mind starts racing again, flooded with ideas on how to “fix” my life and do better tomorrow...I convince myself that if I just do _____ tomorrow maybe I can prevent it from escalating like it did today. Maybe meditation, taking my clonazepam earlier, setting more realistic goals, minimizing any stressors, journaling...or changing careers, going to school, moving, getting a divorce...the list goes on. If I’m careful and lucky for the rest of the night, nothing will shatter that illusion of hope for the next day. If not, I cry myself to sleep. I’ve never had an episode that is this predictable. It makes it all the more frustrating that I can’t do anything about it...if I know what’s coming, why can’t I do something to prevent it from escalating? Why can’t I cope better? I’m almost certain tapering off of the last antidepressant I was on (Trimipramine) triggered the episode...but I spent months tapering down and followed my psychiatrists directions to the tee. I know the Trimipramine was possibly suppressing some of the effects of my other medications as well and that the doses likely need to be tweaked now that I’m off it, but my psychiatrist is gone for two more weeks. I will just have to wait it out. The timing is horrible, I’m a full-time artist and I am in a show in two weeks that I need to finish preparing for. I need it to go well and if this continues I’m just not going to have the inventory to make it a profitable show...and damn do I need the money right now. Saying all that, maybe it’s stress induced and coming off the antidepressant is just amplifying everything. If you read though all of that... thank you. I don’t have anyone to talk to right now. I do have a supportive partner and family but I can only put so much of my shit out there before I start feeling like a burden to them. Feeling like that doesn’t help anything.",4.412085657883441,6.279801623036648,5.14118702257317,80.51049909878982,71.38219895287958,7.94177323834864,29.540296970217145,8.602712287640571,2.3405119989700465,3176,130,585,56,61,1026,326,764,0.149,0.7340000000000001,0.117,-0.9921,3,1,2,0,1,1,120.0,0,2,1,8,33,49,5,12,42,0,57,11,4,8,7,101,117,47,1,18,24,0,5,7,1,4,5,1,2,1,50,29,1,5,16,5,3,14,12,25,2,5,11,9,63,24,101,94,17,100,0,8,3,1,14,38,3,16,50,404,113,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061976627632542775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16835671224532356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061380956021543025,0.08655367028442723,0.0,0.10186488460653056,0.05509765076407749,0.0,0.07041191427701386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318769925601264,0.06835565643327075,0.052666153700565516,0.0,0.0,0.16421726722555036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310376207351921,0.0,0.06547430052000741,0.1066302112248336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049416307789682784,0.0,0.135972512931633,0.15966275959649032,0.0,0.0533081167310782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266755007742202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924197901485005,0.054818587092617915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05214729353109601,0.0,0.1112503877837652,0.0,0.11669391303796595,0.0,0.15647411706535153,0.13264853373301222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057218830565315876,0.1616819816765069,0.0593731453117395,0.10552519250027978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054731535784788544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04148539155591263,0.0,0.062083453536758364,0.18442033522449536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06986935734783445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445175286599256,0.20408775109597213,0.1513525043598834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04371666482540753,0.2116636272129284,0.0,0.0,0.054773117448316484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262775432514176,0.0,0.18653869546102747,0.0,0.0,0.06235041294693645,0.0,0.0,0.06249401258086884,0.0,0.049402185737116966,0.06578217586563108,0.09099655445755464,0.2753560455492468,0.04773548811291847,0.0,0.06582361936978369,0.0580821333679756,0.0,0.059387742659979224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047072209340890216,0.0,0.14523556372090118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06977475230989777,0.05927612557996841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443857491277645,0.0,0.0,0.06190947797676785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15856815697830606,0.0,0.04921958223365711,0.0,0.06263874596752465,0.04932049167485664,0.0,0.12913522914345602,0.0,0.06353199681943222,0.0,0.0,0.06193742711395351,0.0,0.0,0.09529609306373137,0.06121349150012704,0.0,0.08761598418694491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14179582374051372,0.0,0.0,0.06770059984790602,0.07023513532243761,0.0,0.0,0.09307125901338208,0.09949406211054614,0.0,0.05698250924405874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03965836157648833,0.12161858384516555,0.0,0.07218029592899662,0.0,0.05866707009436827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0673215161262367,0.24184081117915154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04912756735152556,0.19858645532815206,0.0,0.11129799264359093,0.0,0.1116971221138973,0.06910102152834967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901172875929606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,suhbreenahawk,2019/04/13,"???? am i cured??????? After an intense manic episode that ended in me trying to kill myself and being admitted into a mental hospital I was diagnosed as BP. My psych doesn't know which one I have, but ever since then I've been taking lithium along with Wellbutrin. He's upped my dosage which ended up in me feeling sick, so I haven't been taking meds for almost 4 weeks. I've been feeling quite.... weird. I don't want to kill myself, but I do think about how life is meaningless and I dissociate quite a lot to escape my dull reality. I've gotten my attention span back and I have a will to read books again. I was feeling a little manic earlier, but now I feel ????stable???? is that the word? This is so strange- not having extreme ups and downs, plus I'm not taking meds. I'n confused and scared I'm going to experience a huge crash.",1.1068181818181806,3.5977311212121243,3.0747727272727303,87.71215909090913,86.27272727272728,5.4818181818181815,19.76515151515152,6.961326702584282,0.5562787878787883,645,19,126,9,20,216,105,165,0.223,0.703,0.07400000000000001,-0.9849,0,0,0,0,0,2,38.0,0,0,0,2,8,6,2,2,7,0,18,3,0,1,1,29,33,14,2,1,5,0,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,8,2,0,1,5,6,0,1,6,4,18,0,19,25,1,20,0,1,0,0,2,10,0,3,9,87,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15843103916452408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165877516401402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16058648674465004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802658373123261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14311594441120298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547661635165573,0.0,0.0,0.3199962039366993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08991812206465401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35008638294728495,0.0,0.08695168840795857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175304145557864,0.0,0.15857456676880158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345100687861044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3514858807903893,0.0,0.15944508826263198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721164159255547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33656559203809405,0.15825938429799866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15840238631975267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13087838055015516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3568775079841109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013787886843061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074186645033542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332023143826458,0.0,0.12691178789275645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,XXthrow01,2019/04/13,"Prescribed Lamictal, but I haven't been diagnosed as Bipolar. **I'm wondering if this is normal. I have done extensive research and I am 100% sure I don't have any of the various types of bipolar disorder. I have never had a manic episode, and most of the symptoms I've read about have not occurred to me. I would really appreciate some advice or anecdotes regarding those who were put on Lamictal but do not have a bipolar diagnosis.** I have been on various depression medications over the course of 15 years, and till trying to find medications that work for me. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (including Panic Disorder), Depression, and PTSD. Every day, I experience depression for most of the day, and lately, my baseline of anxiety is high all the time, and at times has spiked so high that I have had mood swings (which is very uncommon for me). But the thing is, my mood swings from being depressed to being angry, irritated or just so unhappy and overwhelmed that I cry. Not happy or excitable. The medications I'm on are Gabapentin (prescribed for a chronic pain disorder, not depression), Wellbutrin & Buspar; I am convinced the Buspar is not doing enough for my anxiety, but this week my doc increased my dose to 3 times a day ""to give it one last shot"". Then he said he wanted to add Lamictal into my daily routine because it would help with my mood swings. He didn't really explain much more than that. I told him I didn't feel like the mood swings were my problem because they are being caused by my anxiety, which is not being controlled. **Does this story sound familiar to anyone? Should I lose my skepticism and just give Lamictal a shot? Does my doctor think I have bipolar depression and isn't telling me?** This post is in no way meant to avoid a true diagnosis from my doctor. *Side note: I fully respect and empathize with those that have bipolar disorder, especially due to my exposure to the podcast Jen Gotch is Okay...Sometimes"" (I am a big fan of her creative endeavors through Ban.do and other projects, so I gave it a listen, and highly recommend). She is trying to erase the stigma of bipolar, and explains her bipolar disorder to reach out to those who either don't understand the disorder or to those who are experiencing something similar.*",5.332066710268151,7.379411995203839,6.118517549596684,73.70261608894705,69.33573141486809,9.754785262698931,33.25986483540439,10.090330364082071,3.818207673860911,1810,86,302,49,33,593,206,417,0.22,0.708,0.07200000000000001,-0.9973,0,1,1,0,0,0,69.0,0,0,1,3,6,24,1,3,20,0,48,17,0,2,4,61,64,28,0,7,18,0,1,1,0,3,17,3,0,0,23,18,0,2,8,1,0,2,14,13,0,1,13,5,41,7,45,44,11,31,0,8,0,0,21,13,0,9,15,224,64,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07182158962819403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963526813279037,0.0,0.049981295820919584,0.0,0.22490368487757176,0.0,0.0,0.05139164980328794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960764010106467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07550289659561399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243448008858296,0.0,0.0,0.08073432061855362,0.14220077440122758,0.0,0.3798233476704603,0.07459912506944383,0.0,0.0,0.5896471271303553,0.15045704254600065,0.1286375388420945,0.07521417581775443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07594328708717402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061925402782636814,0.0,0.0,0.0718953420224463,0.0,0.0,0.03716289789249088,0.05250712819860715,0.0,0.0,0.06717602254240075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14101233981430047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824019974855502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04926429365242831,0.2329646483777879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059910842027097774,0.08290917006091351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035907507594750164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222568480057962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22212510989282905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054029633227810785,0.0,0.056686342248146164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201263007687833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04980428193052727,0.0,0.0782072659638351,0.08623430069690033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039095806084024,0.0,0.0,0.07032785049179929,0.08591546172166772,0.07388599054115708,0.0,0.0,0.07351808886280957,0.0,0.09416965688099896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991361836344435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056582504546129765,0.07269159835910681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06927118293646793,0.07639277093318737,0.0,0.0,0.0642406656705603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048828937695205785,0.047094678324178615,0.0,0.0,0.128572173042144,0.0,0.0,0.07023067903773983,0.0,0.09980090542512987,0.0,0.0,0.07651421742695844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060643711699300565,0.04335114216454748,0.05833944947037785,0.05895582206025112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970566181594901,0.05350756438150582,0.0,0.0,0.104422023899586,0.0,0.0,0.047330430555732834 bipolarreddit,JesseMckaneWilson,2019/04/13,"Maybe I'm just an asshole I have been recently diagnosed and medicated and my mood stabilizers have really helped. But today I was walking in the parking lot with my daughter and a guy in a jeep drove aggressively fast towards us and I gave him a ""slow down"" arm wave. Now I think if I was in a normal state I would have just ignored him but I felt confrontational I guess. He yelled out the window to use a crosswalk. It's a parking lot? And i called him some rude names. He then took a lap around the parking lot to again yell at me ""that's how you act infront of your daughter?"" So I doubled down and called him even worse stuff. What the hell was that? I wish I had just said nothing and now I'm dwelling on it. Maybe I am just an asshole.",0.6749019607843145,3.0079707712418298,2.2243464052287583,94.25455882352942,86.38562091503269,5.230065359477124,22.225490196078432,6.691623216298621,0.4546313725490192,580,21,129,7,18,188,93,153,0.14800000000000002,0.82,0.032,-0.9589,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,2,0,0,11,7,4,1,13,0,10,3,1,2,0,31,21,13,0,4,7,2,1,0,0,1,2,3,1,1,6,10,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,6,0,0,10,4,23,0,14,10,5,23,1,0,0,0,18,10,1,6,8,92,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15126429153073606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34701341226221405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724646148243765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223016154218816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16314927148751365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871853766333743,0.1682469212749949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11389339246877002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4333781940210869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34141375322638023,0.0,0.0,0.17117591966763565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16648493527421107,0.1630422476184468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885471905338437,0.0,0.16777490885418486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16163226111305629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19451706081604794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887749085390087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106372360606092,0.0,0.1887867062019443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20439211728675447,0.14675580558216975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19539892490129054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731623858225372,0.1207058669539313,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,predlily,2019/04/14,"How do you all keep up with cleaning while having bipolar disorder? So my brother works too much, my mother can barely move these days because of pain, and in the end, the cleaning often falls on the woman with bipolar disorder. I'm not too too torn up about it, because hey, I don't have a full time job, and sometimes it's fun. But predictably, some days I end up not being able to clean. And it gets messy, real fast---especially the dishes, which I hate doing, doubly so when I'm depressed. I was wondering if any of you have managed to figure out a system for cleaning that works alongside your bipolar disorder, not against it? I'd love some tips and advice.",5.655058139534884,6.1116311240310095,5.974718992248064,80.94719476744189,67.2170542635659,8.000387596899225,31.62887596899225,7.6454224807358475,2.1231155038759693,521,20,97,5,8,167,87,129,0.154,0.76,0.086,-0.8619,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,3,0,2,9,5,1,0,6,0,9,6,0,1,1,21,16,11,0,1,5,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,4,1,7,7,1,1,2,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,1,0,9,2,15,14,5,17,0,1,0,1,8,7,0,5,7,69,16,4,0.1719596851615483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16803701415325908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693848265871752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20965005600477368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217995421187703,0.0,0.14810862485464654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5912420912507698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046104814289545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984183812263992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697745881734489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17064345370813336,0.15284566924185367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15520032961265126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827659314350736,0.12641015452870216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829772290711565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19572776847997087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700725256225355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027107528085534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18648294324863846,0.2503773976551458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,irresistiblebliss,2019/04/14,"Food. Anyone else have a hard time enjoying food? When I'm depressed I eat junk, and when I'm up I barely eat at all. My eating habits are so disordered that when I'm stableish I don't care enough to fix it because I know I'll shortly be back where I started yet again. I know that's terribly defeatist of me. It just feels so pointless.",2.132582159624413,3.727600028169016,3.484154929577468,91.15937793427231,76.88732394366197,6.423474178403758,25.91784037558686,7.1686216300943375,1.0766319248826297,266,10,58,3,6,87,52,71,0.197,0.753,0.049,-0.8492,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,1,6,12,6,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,5,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,8,2,4,11,2,12,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,8,34,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378163500906607,0.20195143227397536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155712592307574,0.0,0.12014984872285775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20095578009305054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16976126035884367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258927700000186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6050450916729103,0.16465109834701688,0.0,0.0,0.20365617138782566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996592825087185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.476666293062469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176562177511774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21664114193987125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950783497182692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11493013410880012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,jumpkin126,2019/04/14,"Abilify I'm sorry if this has been discussed before. I just started Abilify. I'm currently on lamictal and welbutrin. I was doing pretty good, but then I added the Abilify and it has made me extremely irritable. Is this normal? Will it subside in a few weeks?",1.8712244897959167,4.691815306122454,4.719591836734697,73.69326530612248,89.81632653061224,8.514285714285714,29.44897959183673,8.841846274778883,3.769073469387755,206,11,33,7,7,73,38,49,0.124,0.7929999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.4677,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,1,0,7,11,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,1,2,7,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,4,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.328363414584885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32366567821474396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3651378331934291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780896307356752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39258819847048704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4319715338729688,0.2731344679489248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095371599215558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,mysecretskill,2019/04/14,"DAE feel like they’re way too extroverted for their SO? My new bf and I (he’s 25, I’m 22) are doing great, but after a night out (or even a night in drinking/staying up late) he feels drained. I’m always ready to go. I know he’s an introverted type, but I’m wondering if this is worth pursuing because I feel like I’m “too much” personality for him. He’s mentioned it, but he says it’s good and it keeps him on his toes. Idk. I’m looking for feedback before I bring this up. He’s quite a logical thinker and I don’t want to worry him if it isn’t worth it. I’m just so excited and ready to go out all the time..>.<",-0.74969890510949,1.2159291897810218,2.047185218978104,95.63603330291971,89.2189781021898,5.468795620437956,20.24133211678832,6.9077264865688965,0.2197156934306572,477,16,119,7,16,166,82,137,0.064,0.73,0.206,0.9554,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,1,6,5,0,0,5,0,5,1,1,0,1,23,22,12,0,3,7,0,3,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,7,6,0,1,7,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,5,11,5,13,22,2,15,0,0,1,0,15,6,0,4,7,59,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16322994097963964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958398714203665,0.0,0.1669270253308305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12956905889172715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975697718670518,0.28028912428831626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229769373538009,0.16453888120994106,0.0,0.2162791591588488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17436574922658382,0.0,0.0,0.10781042093499152,0.0,0.2212893703112579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19167842927992326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647341866961673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442082161279173,0.0,0.0,0.18946312088234665,0.0,0.36818628537442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17128890231156474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20865194692723416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15600300901036476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090921257555416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11438885546332468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570670584229018,0.15571136495661986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127390215163744,0.0,0.1992211167834046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Peaceandheart,2019/04/14,Bipolar and Burning Bridges? Is this a common thing with bipolar? A friend of mine has been in 40 relationships because he is physically not able to make amends. He’s unmedicated - self medicates with alcohol. He has very unrealistic expectations of himself and others. Doesn’t think he needs anything or anyone.. Has anyone ever been through something similar?,5.934714285714287,9.558616566666672,6.4361904761904745,64.18500000000003,75.0,8.761904761904763,36.904761904761905,9.23628265651192,4.632976190476192,294,17,40,8,7,95,47,60,0.0,0.936,0.064,0.5775,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,8,4,0,1,1,11,11,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,3,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,7,9,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,1,2,27,5,0,0.27801083021959583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2971090290123969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3887832731266255,0.0,0.2287792252128124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16947282169863187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514767123540315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147904777919777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18557438796105635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800666632235016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061415079453916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2984795890070806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900259278281735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21402631948331696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18469804231915915,0.17813811441940014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293880505806712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,to2ro95,2019/04/14,"Moodswings Affecting Dating Life- Any Advice Please? Ya know that thing where one moment you think ""their loss I'm amazing and they're missing out, I'm independent and living my own life"" and the next it's ""something is wrong with me and this is why I'll be forever alone""? Yeah... How do you deal with that? I've been avoiding dating for as long as I could and finally joined an online dating app since I couldn't really connect with people in person. Finally I found someone that I clicked with and after our first date I think he's lost interest but I'm not sure cause mixed signals and my own paranoia symptoms might be it?? I know for a fact that dating is kind of exacerbating my hypomanic symptoms, but the moodswings are getting tiring and I'm beginning to feel myself wearing down from battling my inner thoughts. I don't want to ruin things with this guy or in future dating relationships, and I don't know what to do other than distract myself with my own life.",6.631890715667311,6.831876047872343,6.641411992263057,77.8877272727273,65.11702127659575,9.17678916827853,31.984526112185684,8.841846274778883,2.5418021276595737,779,28,144,11,11,248,118,188,0.116,0.8290000000000001,0.055,-0.8008,0,2,1,0,0,0,19.0,1,3,1,3,2,12,1,2,4,1,14,7,1,4,2,39,31,15,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,1,6,0,0,2,12,16,0,1,8,0,0,0,4,8,0,2,4,2,21,4,21,22,3,21,0,4,1,0,10,6,0,2,15,92,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14380464061488235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15241506595605378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007495406606742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511755304571071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749658605737046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15171717759106768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07440934130395968,0.0,0.0,0.32241674259901243,0.0,0.12517560639829128,0.0,0.16135513034140825,0.0,0.0,0.07688587724858767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457131493683381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532461906987827,0.2426285479680212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31183383181890423,0.0,0.0,0.12994641447950658,0.13023341070496214,0.0,0.0,0.16064430196962434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561152325453089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15650806188932054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997205283422219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202334412945524,0.1284958581012348,0.0,0.1615392767676775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427550778744408,0.0,0.0,0.15799651577870527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12173362018497533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12468957064280813,0.11329221162423245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13869809368903308,0.3059145592987421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19553529442097128,0.18859045939644406,0.0,0.11682989526440812,0.0,0.16914064411567628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08679974157478393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327904805906625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608981394256843,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,DieBorstel,2019/04/14,"Is it my disease or do I just lack character? I'm don't know what to think anymore. I've been diagnosed with bipolar about a year ago and since my second psychosis I've been depressed. Here are some of the behaviours that make me question whether I lack character or that it's caused by my disease. &#x200B; \-I have trouble waking up in the morning. Each morning I get up at around 12am even though I went to bed on time. I just hit the snooze button over and over. I'm on 3,5 grams of zyprexa daily so that might be a contributing factor. &#x200B; \-Abandoning my schoolwork I'm in my last year of college and I have to write a dissertation. The last 2 months however I've spent oversleeping, playing videogames and watching TV. I literally have one thing to do and I can't bring myself to do it. I'm throwing away my future for some quick fixes. &#x200B; \-Not sticking to my word I've gained some weight (this could also be because of the zyprexa), it's not too bad but it's definitely noticeable. Last week I measured my weight and noticed I'm 8 kilos above my goal weight. So naturally I told myself to stop eating junk food. Well yesterday when I got the chance to order some fried food I instantly went for it. Instead of resisting. yesterday I went out to have some drinks for the birthday of a friend. The day before I already had too much beers so I said I wasn't gonna drink alcohol. I started the night of with a soft drink but the moment my friend said let's have a beer I instantly caved... &#x200B; Sorry for the long post, I would just like some advice. I have a meeting with my psydoc next week and will definitly bring up these things when I see her.",3.2334451599501466,5.258141677710847,3.873622766929788,87.68126506024097,74.99397590361446,6.868466971333611,27.110926464478602,7.753152298057669,1.5580372663066058,1335,52,266,19,29,422,181,332,0.038,0.878,0.084,0.9444,1,0,6,0,0,0,52.0,0,0,0,2,19,9,0,0,18,0,24,15,1,2,0,43,47,19,0,4,10,0,4,1,2,4,3,2,1,0,14,13,12,2,3,7,1,6,5,4,1,2,12,8,37,5,38,26,10,44,0,2,2,0,9,13,0,10,24,174,51,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07781236124231608,0.07058614433629419,0.08509899183034225,0.0,0.0,0.08787238288433673,0.06367913852568748,0.0,0.3451111724848189,0.3870309280748333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897039246434992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088653202429397,0.0,0.0,0.0748138975408989,0.0,0.06648673854014366,0.04854098953887788,0.0,0.06775826081727558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180073283191243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06357713325482774,0.0,0.0,0.051354001324330587,0.0,0.06858418592097383,0.08082157605135483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23401778555723945,0.0,0.08148016214094153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0525940845638078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925749702644376,0.0,0.12304205749393195,0.0,0.04160277185297127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368644152592434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043761916957758315,0.19472434847002504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142586339190093,0.0,0.03890261920876625,0.0,0.0,0.07046899986164065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053152855628496455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447359430337181,0.0,0.0,0.06355896436164313,0.0,0.058536344855027865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08468615336052128,0.07472625329631423,0.0,0.0,0.1813158785239336,0.0,0.0,0.053958549191885814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626239805019126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08920250222862164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15149048513173516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06345385990291752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586978270427181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913794459960075,0.056361688590879186,0.0,0.0,0.06657325900062927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580369938028718,0.051022932537727016,0.07823491127965113,0.0,0.04643220525683245,0.0,0.0,0.0760887498573621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12774687241645566,0.29089935162248515,0.07159587215026371,0.2214501415151132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0565660290129439,0.0,0.3870309280748333,0.102556698597807 bipolarreddit,kinos141,2019/04/14,"Needing some help I don't know if this is the right place to ask, and if anyone can help, but I want to know what I can do to help my wife who is having biploar relapse. She came out of the hospital and was better after having our second child, and was fine for years, but now I see the symptoms coming back. I've looked all over the net and cannot find a decent resource on how to handle it outside of shoving pills down her throat. She doesn't think she has an issue, but I can see it from past experiences. I'm more worried about the kids health. I don't want them to see this. &#x200B; Does anyone know pf any ways I can help her positively?",4.696166666666667,4.527982792592597,5.238657407407409,87.56020833333336,69.22222222222223,7.6388888888888875,25.76388888888889,6.6274283507984215,0.8165,507,12,112,3,8,163,86,135,0.023,0.8009999999999999,0.17600000000000002,0.959,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,1,1,4,2,0,0,7,0,16,4,1,1,1,23,31,10,0,5,5,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,6,7,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,3,4,15,2,15,28,3,14,0,0,4,0,16,6,0,3,5,75,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17091657580597733,0.1916773672706,0.10727196801563467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205978585957987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14747022422632974,0.0,0.0,0.12129612129319466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395125797876505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18041818680630484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13588329749921738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380436593893139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15430481949763655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14417601671243313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767549396993986,0.0,0.0,0.4229324307181513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16464473318764214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600774797270733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324660199180022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696587369809848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058539375577856,0.0,0.0,0.16480988724992696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13471331624238989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37710687990279795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16395739137160706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107658762987516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18608410443693085,0.12521059037882634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16019764296156933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916773672706,0.10158256902606604 bipolarreddit,drivingagermanwhip,2019/04/14,"Long term recovery I'd been bipolar for years, unmedicated. I tried to get help a few times, but symptoms would pass by the time I got an appointment, or didn't seem serious enough. I had a manic episode in 2015. I was hospitalized and then later went to an outpatients psychosis response service. Was put on Olanzapine. Later I was put on fluoxetine. After a while I came off olanzapine and have only been on fluoxetine since 2016. I also quit drinking in 2016. All that helped and I have been sober/stable for over 3 years now. One thing I've noticed since my psychotic episode is it's been really hard to make friends. I haven't made any new friends since then, and I've drifted away from the ones I have. Part of this is just getting older (I'm 29), but I've noticed when I do meet people I would potentially care about, I'm just not that invested. I'm also slightly fatigued the whole time. The fatigue doesn't affect me when I'm cycle touring, but then we're talking 8+ hours of hard activity a day. I can't possibly do that every day as a software developer. I cycle every day commuting for about an hour and a half, so I'm not inactive. I don't have much ambition any more and it really feels like life is passing me by. One of the most noticeable things about this is that when I was actively bipolar I would be fixated on people. I was in love with someone I'd say continuously for 9 years (not the same person). But now I haven't really been attracted to anyone since I was treated. Obviously the previous thing wasn't healthy; but nowadays I try to date but I just don't develop any attachment to them. I'd say it's lack of sex drive, but it's broader than that because I'm also like this with potential new platonic friends. It'd be great to have something in the middle. I'm not sure how to approach this. I've been thinking it may be the change of being sober and treated along with the trauma of having had such a serious episode; but alongside that I've been wondering if it's something more basic like emotional blunting from fluoxetine, so I'm thinking of talking to my doctor; but she's a GP and I don't have a dedicated psychiatrist any more. Counselling is really expensive and I used to just get it on the NHS. Not sure how to approach looking for it myself. A lot of this may not even be a bipolar-specific thing so much as like a personal development/life situation thing. Has anyone had experience with this kind of problem and how did you approach it/what helped? Thanks all",4.581177995391705,5.737478747983875,5.923953917050691,77.83164516129034,69.98790322580646,9.378248847926267,31.71175115207373,9.678323770799102,3.025793502304148,1993,87,385,46,35,672,221,496,0.075,0.8079999999999999,0.116,0.9749,0,0,3,0,0,0,51.0,0,1,1,1,23,23,0,0,26,0,52,10,0,8,5,65,78,39,0,6,21,0,3,4,3,5,7,2,0,2,26,16,1,0,5,1,2,11,15,6,0,4,23,6,32,17,53,44,16,54,0,2,1,2,17,13,0,8,34,258,58,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18823192782696405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21342040515223049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097213121660264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737152150003395,0.0,0.0,0.04782813885924731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973668339761505,0.07999461553238138,0.0,0.08299967110118603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15179952013653367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030654880683885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686036927753402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08825629575209619,0.0,0.08106956228590348,0.0,0.05182171199204905,0.0,0.13221090343914024,0.0,0.0,0.07674837542210386,0.0,0.0,0.039671444060113456,0.05605143078761751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818526775180563,0.0,0.12297543795557488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06275117169405069,0.08650179596641352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14056847233828704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15776910149314927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15453346356735376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170342023184551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05541821406768352,0.1533252528372998,0.0,0.0,0.06943412449297882,0.06588615871129312,0.0,0.0,0.06670339964939767,0.07081269671156988,0.07424020750874481,0.05237227720150061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535341395530108,0.0,0.0,0.15155320826532034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26797973520348584,0.0,0.0,0.15949841615771276,0.05967193024240379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496391432578554,0.0,0.10878777633372236,0.13701549179949918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845121592583577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750750760805762,0.0,0.15774679084818385,0.0,0.08345125906393237,0.0,0.0,0.2010524736753369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12478817199071796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07142651619938256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596097973062613,0.0881916839958556,0.0,0.0,0.06647841843444048,0.12080380116624152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14789416405534134,0.08154938690304256,0.0,0.12612543190397066,0.0,0.07223489962037752,0.0,0.0,0.2606247871054121,0.1005472663661248,0.0,0.0,0.13725096964408895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10653760231980502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776375428437317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273267547970448,0.0,0.08759714901965855,0.0,0.0,0.08508590242755698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16720597886743255,0.0,0.0,0.15157589703295773 bipolarreddit,Saint_Dogbert,2019/04/15,"Hello Darkness my old friend So I have been cycling more and more often lately, primarily triggered by the fact that im getting the run around with unemployment and haven't been paid since before xmas from them and im starting to have that fight or flight response happen. Just this week I started again having thoughts of what bridge locally I wanted to jump off, if that would be effective or should I find a parking garage instead. I keep flirting with that edge between just thinking and crossing over and carrying it out and a few things stopping me but lately a big trigger has been my family that I live with. Had I not irrationally quit my job last fall esp when I knew the new job offer I had was not in stone yet, I feel that I would of been on the path of moving out finally, and since then im starting to realize that I may never obtain that goal. I'm in the IT profession and frankly a trigger lately is helping my mother especially with IT issues almost every single day, often times things I have shown her before how to resolve but then she sits there and claims I never had which further enrages me and triggers me to start rapid cycling again. Oh should also mention I have been off medication since last summer. And at this moment I am safe, this is mostly a vent vs a note I am leaving to be found. To be quite honest its fucking disturbing how my mental well being is so tied to my financial well being. My old job may of sucked, but at least I was starting to dig myself out of debt, now I am just being suffocated by it to the point that I just laugh at collection letters and calls. I really have no desire to restart things at my old dr office as I just did not feel like anything was being changed for the better. Hell at times dealing with their buraracy at times was a trigger in of its self.",7.014805746957926,6.349240367688023,7.128808092655039,77.60614572643306,64.54317548746518,9.563465767482773,33.10086497581,8.6894789155246,2.5920551532033427,1448,51,275,18,19,467,193,359,0.092,0.799,0.109,0.7642,6,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,0,0,2,7,22,16,5,1,14,0,40,3,0,8,3,71,59,27,0,7,15,1,2,1,1,6,2,0,0,1,23,21,0,3,10,0,2,5,7,6,2,0,17,2,38,10,45,29,6,59,1,0,0,1,15,21,3,9,33,213,61,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368398581025188,0.0,0.0,0.0748176305438915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698957468791222,0.08328571155829881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15922051213298302,0.0,0.0,0.08274370904125945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553232513788364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897107466414884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06033663122632204,0.0964533283822022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07882594606753053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881973681918375,0.0,0.09461062676553156,0.06683725691817101,0.0,0.10248730052717976,0.0855095533014961,0.0,0.0,0.1025806017491402,0.07228203311220811,0.08649209089823995,0.048879756952770574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273229147342448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06270939517554719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.303173376022652,0.0976493726858886,0.27852314858414506,0.08315790638240159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15252315173676978,0.31660966941135843,0.09906352847769463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04570730475534095,0.0,0.08261269018373517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424900038796262,0.09428361680313696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943645961025696,0.0,0.0,0.14431410555381394,0.09035809233829592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29451751798590003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844176067581372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990191209689181,0.0,0.0,0.05993511516230951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760052649530396,0.0,0.0,0.23217435947504056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33110121237909285,0.0,0.0,0.07821797862423434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864656685144555,0.05994765325434887,0.0,0.07427393807159569,0.1636618047294629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0551824395268465,0.0,0.07504591397492401,0.0,0.16823825306133225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292065056182525,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,02496,2019/04/15,"High functioning bipolar I hate the fact that this exists. ""Look, that person has bipolar disorder! What's your excuse?"" It enrages me. Someone with an SO, job, college education, independent living situation, transportation, what more could the universe fucking owe you? ""Someone made a joke about the weather being bipolar!"" WHAT? ""I wish I wasn't high functioning so people would realize I have a severe illness."" **WHAT?!** Absolutely infuriating.",4.7220523138832995,7.8471542535211265,5.5005331991951705,64.65933098591549,98.01408450704227,7.662374245472837,34.64889336016097,7.957251820313856,4.554069617706238,356,21,43,10,14,115,55,71,0.219,0.7190000000000001,0.062,-0.925,2,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,2,0,0,3,4,3,0,6,0,6,5,0,2,1,8,12,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,8,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,1,3,0,0,2,1,7,1,2,7,1,3,0,0,1,1,4,2,1,0,0,32,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781223808694264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25568501634924345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20624677938780092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202591070316892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4714220537675517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22138634019926254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969960618364968,0.0,0.1873427462496668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110969075884135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466526790596424,0.1947970485344682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25203268371772164,0.0,0.0,0.2507669683486106,0.0,0.0,0.3780535918148117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256547054246825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15847955464946228,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,FlandersFields2018,2019/04/15,"Benzo Tolerance Issues Hey everyone, I've been on benzos for about a year and a few months (Klonopin at first and now Xanax on top of it) and I've noticed that not only have I grown a tolerance (which I obv. expected) but it's gotten to the point where it barely does anything, even if I take higher dosages. I started at .5 mg of Klonopin and now I'm at up to 1.5 mg per day (prescribed by my doctor). Even at the upper level it doesn't do much. With Xanax, I have to take like 3-4 mg just to feel what I used to get with .5 or 1 mg. Of course I know that's getting to the point of substance abuse which is a problem I don't wanna have. Has anyone else experienced benzo tolerance getting to a point where you have to take very excessive amounts just for a small benefit? Also, I'm considering tapering down for a short while so that if I end up taking more than my regular dose it actually helps instead of barely registering. Do a few weeks of taking lower amounts help somewhat reset tolerance for any chronic benzo users or does it just cause withdrawal to worsen/is not worth it? Looking for any advice, thanks! (I posted this on r/bipolar as well if that's fine)",4.733670886075949,5.126511902953588,5.8572320675105525,81.21065822784811,69.21097046413503,8.851645569620256,29.7240506329114,8.841846274778883,2.2310637974683547,919,33,186,15,15,307,134,237,0.059,0.8029999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.9388,1,0,0,0,1,0,29.0,0,1,0,2,14,6,0,0,11,0,11,5,0,2,0,25,28,14,0,6,11,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,15,6,0,0,2,0,1,1,4,1,1,1,2,3,13,5,37,26,7,32,0,0,1,0,4,20,0,6,11,119,28,1,0.0,0.15692239729681035,0.12924452122721428,0.0,0.0,0.1294210241091491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10591401148614647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801305296898203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926066936506418,0.13570272619033566,0.10898867871825199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360546633846102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08541428813347805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13556024470873898,0.2318021934909789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106384969115299,0.0,0.11730451370958148,0.0,0.0,0.17495370086853293,0.0,0.0,0.1265542360173154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696677599324323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11265530169458275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20758681216048505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17754648343255972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13823528899649995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07278679144583737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06470458855306835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121812517811877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571413240352044,0.0,0.0973602854069942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15078636807294435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10072829160371284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3756021777745784,0.0,0.12684305551323932,0.0,0.0,0.12672933697461328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09374329915573468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4979004092379054,0.0,0.0,0.121935020425329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143875717442138,0.0,0.10927871848192093,0.0,0.0,0.10623717614347,0.0,0.11908147944282887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528846027720448 bipolarreddit,misshome,2019/04/15,"Have any of you tried TMS? I told my doc today how it seemed to be a pattern that I have a crisis, change meds, but there's always another crisis (depression, suicidal thoughts, feelings of hopelessness and desperation the sure knowledge that nothing will ever change). Still haven't found a med or combo that works long term. My former med list is as long as my arm, with all the side-effects in the world but always another crisis. So she suggested looking into TMS. I'm going to be patient and wait until I finish (if I finish, at the rate I'm going, long story) EMDR therapy just to give it a fair shake, and I'm doing my own research, but I also wondered about the community's experience was. Did you notice improvement after trying TMS therapy? For how long? How many sessions did you have to have? What did it feel like? Did your personality change? What features of your illness did it particularly affect? Thanks!",4.211233140655107,6.4447568670520265,5.482566473988442,76.29745279383431,72.81502890173411,7.8503275529865135,27.140269749518303,8.648137234880735,2.299673911368016,730,27,124,14,15,243,108,173,0.185,0.727,0.08800000000000001,-0.9725,0,0,0,0,0,1,27.0,0,5,0,1,10,6,0,1,9,0,16,2,1,4,3,26,32,16,1,1,6,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,9,5,0,1,7,0,0,3,1,3,0,0,9,3,15,3,17,20,3,20,0,2,1,0,10,4,0,4,14,85,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09557318139477956,0.19888602990161428,0.0,0.0,0.0812718144994193,0.2506361364206438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.379281476957382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029349484555979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810485594183293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11690503025683772,0.0,0.0,0.12085705639169282,0.08537893051320884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103802388936606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464617448673875,0.1358421058163894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05838720762328833,0.0,0.0,0.4230551268383428,0.1003594321741461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116574828848906,0.0,0.0,0.39825049540873053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146743611378678,0.13606446121229654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043526988446374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10879864220584476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544191646992242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307260166573196,0.0,0.1126380306332838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002999189592988,0.27334328270197417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487866034539642,0.0,0.0,0.11328278330800835,0.11419821405539606,0.0,0.16228072000467025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296049583201877,0.08700568433260494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,DubDubGreek,2019/04/15,"Posting here for the first time I'm a 24 year old guy with a history of depression and anxiety which I've gotten much more under control, but I've definitely developed bipolar tendencies. I'd call it more cyclothymia than anything, the depression isn't too bad and the mania isn't too insane anymore, but they're there. Just wanted to post. Thanks.",7.015909090909092,7.618115893939398,7.293484848484847,72.16022727272728,64.30303030303031,10.842424242424245,36.196969696969695,10.686352973137794,4.112587878787879,283,13,48,7,4,92,52,66,0.12,0.687,0.193,0.7440000000000001,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,5,0,2,1,0,1,0,8,6,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,6,5,3,7,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,28,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18458794080020186,0.0,0.23929711372483464,0.0,0.0,0.1985629945850046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20146898270534092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463864053794383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706298198496828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4156493902563658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20524309793845946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23891730223833316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773775960165484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25319566779476776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4621826274292266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221495212638297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069947425998985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14232044384415726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538432317328255 bipolarreddit,throwawaybipolar1234,2019/04/15,"Not sure this is allowed — how to know if a loved one is suffering through an undiagnosed bipolar manic episode. Throwaway — I am worried he will read this, and will only make things worse. [Since December — he has hit all of the signs.](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/313571.php) Could also be asked this way — how did you know you had bipolar disorder.. and if it was from a severe manic episode, how did you get help and stop your manic behavior? I have a loved one going through what looks like it hits all the signs — and of course I could be wrong —but I’m not able to get through to them to get help, even at the risk of losing everything. I’m at a complete loss on what to do, if there’s even anything I can do. Thank you.",4.575304120340093,6.434687733812949,4.364081098757357,86.28103335513408,70.94244604316549,7.356703727926749,27.02485284499673,8.00094639256281,1.4887352517985604,581,20,116,8,11,177,85,139,0.16399999999999998,0.7190000000000001,0.118,-0.6202,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,5,1,2,7,10,0,1,8,0,18,4,0,5,3,23,34,11,0,5,5,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,4,0,1,2,1,0,1,2,5,0,2,4,1,10,5,15,22,2,6,0,3,1,2,13,3,0,3,2,79,18,1,0.1701573989766595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13607481048545958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002504100778607,0.0,0.15907419848274604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17840679544703653,0.0,0.0,0.27171367449858563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19501512097295493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22477471446286715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15292649838779798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667006539329637,0.0,0.0967043711172338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281058355400449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18702811295429955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08313031015778362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288935990438015,0.19036260487786436,0.0,0.0,0.3071473919296769,0.0,0.11358138511077738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306061145093653,0.1294123695078073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702034459853849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922294274656091,0.0,0.14075595879153618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422592046884517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603713348054007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15665807161017173,0.0,0.0,0.11304501501716638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13506302313268648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17280309829749954,0.1734049265105012,0.0,0.1860404040249816,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,NonBelieverBeliever,2019/04/15,"Looking for help/advice? Okay I've never posted here before... Bipolar II here. So, I'm definitely hypomanic right now but I feel like it's different somehow this time? I was diagnosed relatively recently, and this is the first time I'm actually cognizant of the mood shift. I'm slightly alarmed; it started where I was having trouble concentrating. That morphed into a sort of word-salad where it'd take me awhile to come up with words that were on the tip of my tongue, or I'd say the completely wrong word. (example as I just was typing this! ""Diagnosed relatively recently""--I had to stop and think how to phrase that because I wanted to type ""soon-ish"", but could not for the life of me remember the word ""relatively"".) At work today and it's been rough. Well, that's an understatement. I feel like I'm literally having to corral my brain. Cannot concentrate AT ALL. Making really stupid mistakes. Fleeting thoughts I barely have time to even grab onto and process. My hypomanic espisodes usually come coupled with wild bursts of creativeness and wanting to do ALL THE THINGS, and I can't get to sleep and can't stay asleep. I've had no problem getting to sleep, but I feel like no matter how much or little sleep I get I'm exhausted? That usually happens when I'm depressed! I don't get it! I just am freaking because this whole having trouble thinking and speaking is totally foreign to me. I'm admittedly a bit of a hypochondriac, so I'm sitting here like, DO I HAVE EARLY ONSET DEMENTIA?!? Really hoping this isn't too disjointed and makes sense. I'm just wondering if anyone gets reeeeally spacey when hypomanic??? This is nuts...also just totally forgot something I was going to put. Oh well. I have a psych appointment coming up so I'll bring this up, but that's a week away unfortunately... thank you.",3.5020665861652596,6.113499876832847,4.862233051578403,78.0662907538382,76.62463343108504,8.117336553389684,28.50448507848888,8.925248442259385,2.7580760048300847,1442,63,253,35,34,478,185,341,0.138,0.759,0.103,-0.9525,1,0,1,0,0,0,62.0,0,1,0,2,22,20,1,1,13,1,27,10,5,4,5,59,65,24,0,7,12,0,5,4,0,0,5,2,0,0,19,15,0,2,9,0,0,6,9,10,2,1,10,8,22,9,31,53,7,38,0,1,1,0,4,13,0,7,20,160,41,4,0.0,0.0,0.10123239900655266,0.0,0.0,0.10137064711177347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295848341842538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07253535912627421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09746437565437263,0.0,0.0,0.12647428872331734,0.0,0.08827259109674981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11325399368717233,0.0,0.0,0.1158048585117091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680808557102414,0.1087663258837233,0.0,0.0,0.08282559527378132,0.11478307549943476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934857132522563,0.2105818493132619,0.0,0.10838314057380326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851734481982469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15735771210632105,0.2223293131366812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882386838765914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709916417550963,0.0,0.05895615756654344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173433294362432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953275961871337,0.0,0.0,0.1030343000032081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732725480616487,0.20272273559491652,0.10397177932325632,0.0,0.0,0.08711299726971579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13849057617259833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625866973800477,0.0,0.0800084100872961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09935142074109657,0.0,0.0,0.09926234926350258,0.0,0.10428439014542877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13291322436245795,0.0,0.10242782442895797,0.0,0.11751385817158418,0.08859087603962078,0.0,0.08249586786167401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114359105261216,0.0,0.0,0.07986185116117801,0.0,0.0,0.07342561970298621,0.1105698953287475,0.0,0.08672882094167145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799735325706678,0.0,0.0,0.09550714044480436,0.0,0.0,0.06891828818559585,0.13294102906819333,0.0,0.08235563215703431,0.18146972866126446,0.0,0.0983305961306402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22850341497347346,0.0,0.12237360261738242,0.0,0.08321160620633432,0.0,0.18654413706333134,0.0,0.0,0.11581871447115415,0.0,0.0,0.11249840832794852,0.07552180973447657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11342018201166458,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Susccmmp,2019/04/15,"Does anyone take Depakote in the morning? I called my psychiatrist because I've been feeling pretty manic and can't get an actual appointment until May. He's increasing my Depakote from 1,000 mgs (2 pills at night) to 1,500 mgs (1 pill in the morning and 2 at night). Depakote has made a huge difference for me but one reason I was taking a lower than average dose is because a full dose (2,000 mgs I think?) knocked me off my feet, I couldn't get out of bed, I was disoriented, I spent 2 weeks in a haze before the doctor cut my dose in half and then I was fine. I really do think the higher dose will help the mania but it still causes some fatigue when I take it at bedtime, am I going to be exhausted all day if I take 1/3 of a dose first thing in the morning?",6.2925,5.049978210191082,7.170756369426751,78.60607085987263,66.26114649681529,10.14299363057325,31.726910828025478,9.188382445141503,2.502478343949045,597,19,124,9,8,201,100,157,0.099,0.8290000000000001,0.071,-0.7383,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,1,0,12,0,13,11,1,3,1,17,25,9,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,2,10,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,4,0,1,2,2,3,0,3,6,1,17,1,18,15,4,23,0,1,0,0,3,12,0,3,9,78,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.17331333578832406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418302022028448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165283158870404,0.0,0.15112570058392222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813508746010742,0.0,0.0,0.18244554845996225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11453820293375087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855556503688588,0.0,0.18178254666168372,0.15542017183979787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980059830911097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510676502611932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855787904435225,0.0,0.10093496186392158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904246698042635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16805072794364953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333337439658088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034729715253704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18068446087344134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377599716444757,0.18260380676384447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14183269820820066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5341365653012942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799047083230248,0.2275995969378317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246112103883568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,bipolar_yogi,2019/04/15,"Does anyone experience rage regarding silly things? I’ve spoken in detail about feeling angry to my therapist and find that I have no idea how to express anger which leads me into the rages about things that piss me off. The issue for me is I don’t express my anger outwardly, I’m just boiling inside. Like raging so much I feel like I could rip through a wall and it takes me sometimes days to pass and an ungodly amount of energy to expel the feelings. Does anyone else experience this?",3.433924349881796,5.886601021276598,4.4258865248226975,81.9338888888889,76.02127659574468,7.1565011820330975,24.274231678487002,8.167268648758528,1.6708855791962178,392,13,70,7,9,127,69,94,0.261,0.649,0.09,-0.9682,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,5,9,6,0,5,0,4,2,1,2,0,13,9,5,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,4,1,0,5,0,0,2,2,6,0,0,0,3,10,3,12,8,2,8,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,3,46,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28659314041208445,0.20998196203876665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636253528068288,0.0,0.0,0.1321672770468599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35868313600314405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17119839306631107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40093501434732176,0.0,0.0,0.3108665995718196,0.14640688537981109,0.0,0.0,0.18730851543501031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313486935341755,0.0,0.2139007669290892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002435299380452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15065212268278586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20268772782205466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15408696312414388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379474113823133,0.2723017970938874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Xeragi,2019/04/15,"I cannot think or focus at work. Hello all, Bipolar 2 here. I just switched off of Abilify to Rexulti to combat some depression issues I was having. Psych told me Rexulti would be stronger in that regard. Also on Lamictal and Effexor. I think that’s actually all I’m on, as I weened off a few others (Ritalin, Straterra, Vistaril). Anyway: I used to function really well at my old job. I worked in shipping and did well enough to be promoted to a manager position when the company grew a bit. I threw it away because the money was not worth it even though I was mostly happy. Fast forward 18 months and I’ve had this new job at an insurance broker for 11 months. I work in the billing department. It’s a great job, with great coworkers, good pay, and strong benefits. I stumbled a bit a month or so ago. Took an entire month off work to try and fix myself. Back to work with a great accommodation: working from home. However, I cannot focus well enough to get my work load done. Even if I give my SO anything I would use to distract myself, I just stare at the computer and space out. Boom. 40-50 minutes go by and it feels like a couple seconds. I’m starting to get paranoid about being fired for lack of progress. Which makes it even harder to focus. I need help. I go to therapy, consistently take my meds, but I just can’t seem to get over this hurdle and I need to. I have a family to take care of. Any help is appreciated. Thank you.",1.898763666947012,4.155300529616728,3.852233569626339,85.07083623693383,80.28919860627178,7.442941247146463,24.18226600985221,8.433251757073789,1.7431180824222037,1120,41,226,25,29,379,170,287,0.049,0.7879999999999999,0.163,0.9836,4,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,1,0,10,18,15,0,1,15,0,17,2,0,3,2,35,42,18,0,6,8,0,2,1,0,2,2,1,1,0,11,11,0,0,4,0,5,7,4,2,3,1,9,4,28,13,41,28,10,34,0,1,1,0,6,17,0,6,13,151,39,16,0.0,0.0,0.08900842413017303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808527261028228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729411132183598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06202636070444216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505858235713493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569539565357309,0.07013534952845199,0.0,0.05560115754798185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991567838650405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299532298957973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092283465847776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785595877405407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334014900443477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18848993970974612,0.0,0.18073129594414272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598527074535142,0.0,0.04611883849032194,0.06516089708578654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296137929226527,0.08749755392934759,0.10367421357718762,0.07650315460761778,0.0,0.3016801469026029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709541882586173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12227313428941262,0.0,0.09149170547443766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520020745116664,0.27153744868854124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044560909866151854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06088380826184296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131445541152202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912138400662673,0.0,0.0,0.13526306277985106,0.0,0.08809180129777261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571021993983647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058431869454149424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0830347380230017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06455935811736667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715809499459866,0.0,0.0,0.08397449974114406,0.1043073121563571,0.0,0.0,0.11688818615113016,0.08961398745957297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715567211623784,0.10133837345224313,0.06192603509829463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15755340968195294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460279490608837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4648170088355394,0.0,0.0,0.12958683870642462,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,mothmanned,2019/04/15,"Brief mourning period for 4 months of stability Well, it happened again. Hubris is indeed my downfall. I tried taking Vyvanse again, at a lower dose than the previous dose that made me manic. And I was OK for about a week before the symptoms started showing up. Namely, lying (about anything) and some risky behaviors. Luckily, not drinking and drugs, but I did take a hit off of a vape pen, which I know is super bad for my brain (no matter how much analog weed I can smoke.) I decided on Saturday to stop taking it. And Sunday I blew up. We were having a disagreement about how to best spend our day on Sunday. I wanted to stay Very Busy, and he wanted to take his time. Which is no big deal at all and shouldn't have been what set me off. But it did, and I was in the History of Pain. My History of Pain is a mindset I get into when manic brain meets remotely challenging parts of my relationship. Suddenly, I am the victim of circumstance and have been forever and will be forever: He doesn't love me, he's shown how he doesn't love me in every action, and on top of that, I don't deserve love for how terrible I am and the terrible things I've done. And then I'm hitting myself in the head over and over and over, and bashing my skull into anything I can get my hands on. And then it subsides, and I'm crying, and he wants to get away from me, and I don't understand. And then it's quiet, and he's mad and I'm still crying, and it seems like I'll never stop and we'll never be happy again. And then it's quiet, and he's quiet and I'm quiet. And then we're in the car and talking about the news, and all I want is to be held, but that's asking too much too soon. I should've trusted my body sooner- there were warning signs that the Vyvanse was going to push me over the edge, and I went willingly. And why? Because Vyvanse would help me achieve my goals, surely, but at the cost of myself and him. Everything has a cost, and this cost was too high. Sure, he and I are OK now, but there's the threat of so many next times, and eventually, he'll walk.",3.090109297912715,4.093964974117647,4.527597722960152,87.02038330170782,73.37647058823529,7.6485768500948765,24.297912713472485,8.049812674583475,1.190952182163188,1594,45,344,23,31,532,201,425,0.175,0.728,0.097,-0.9907,1,0,3,0,0,0,59.0,3,0,0,6,23,23,3,0,19,2,37,16,6,5,6,74,68,52,1,6,6,0,1,1,0,6,6,4,0,0,16,39,1,3,4,2,4,7,10,9,1,0,14,5,41,14,48,43,7,62,0,1,0,3,24,25,0,2,29,236,57,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17497707265580936,0.0,0.09939057109089644,0.0,0.0998868417218262,0.0,0.0887689392940559,0.0648088964545672,0.0,0.09046659639542826,0.0,0.11157147967017116,0.0,0.0,0.11809247036718434,0.0,0.23736635042526136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335650049212937,0.06856465403719468,0.10960653514869352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087975919685121,0.0,0.10414864204995936,0.12329214038830966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957533112848022,0.0,0.09554944896574724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16663626507342064,0.0,0.06042150621535501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940143794455838,0.11317474711687026,0.0,0.0,0.10911029831797983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712609885189842,0.11232808390937878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058428177334480635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051940346582614635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28786146638621424,0.10059822598072016,0.0,0.10778715434810048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485995813443566,0.0,0.15630814075184327,0.0,0.16399402019759754,0.0,0.11306766088651304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22625421654351835,0.0,0.0,0.11512924519432595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414297929234173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678557022883703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525060520171857,0.1133180976100163,0.08490363594609486,0.1777689120144214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20040206023287924,0.11050243429472006,0.31974387471123,0.08545231166748181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063124446768028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12398675887054562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218119502393243,0.0,0.0,0.11067810711080366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08772136009179196,0.25083036942480513,0.0,0.08527982129620455,0.0,0.09559033527828108,0.09855546434494876,0.09593313499083482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755234277663362,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Senok73,2019/04/15,"I want to go to crisis counseling but I know there’s nothing they can do So I might be manic, idk for sure but this weekend I partied a lot and did hard drugs and my sleep was all fucked and when I finally got some sleep it was full of horrible disturbing nightmares. I’m so impatient and time is moving so fucking slowly. Idk if I’m manic, I feel fine inside, but I think my partying behavior is a little off. I kept hurrying my friends to get to the next party, to take more shots faster, etc etc and they were like dude what is wrong with you? But they were just moving so fucking slow. I’ve been exercising and really paranoid my parents or the government can read my phone. My college has crisis counseling and I’ve been before when i was too manic to take a midterm, and it was helpful because they wrote me a note to take the midterm at a different date. I feel like I should maybe go again, honestly because the nightmares are so gross and making me scared to sleep. I should probably wait until the drugs are out of my blood first though. But anyway, I want to go to crisis counseling but idk what they could do for me. I can’t get medication because the school pharmacy doesn’t take my insurance and everywhere in town is either not accepting new patients or doesn’t take my insurance. It’s literally hopeless, there’s absolutely no way for me to access medication. If I go to crisis counseling all they can do is determine if I’m actually manic I guess but realistically there’s nothing they can do to actually help me. I have a hard time even believing I’m bipilar, I know this behavior isn’t normal but I don’t feel crazy or weird, I feel normal, I think my behaviors are just a little bit out there right now. Idk why I’m posting I guess I just needed somewhere to vent.",3.3133990610328645,5.201703518309866,4.846971830985918,81.38867370892021,74.38028169014085,8.564319248826292,27.32629107981221,9.21078282632365,2.405476995305164,1419,55,278,34,30,476,164,355,0.207,0.693,0.101,-0.9926,2,0,2,0,0,1,27.0,0,1,7,1,20,16,3,2,13,0,37,12,4,1,3,61,74,33,0,11,19,1,6,2,1,3,5,0,0,0,7,13,0,2,9,3,0,6,7,9,0,1,12,6,46,7,26,57,10,33,0,1,0,3,14,10,3,11,17,185,53,6,0.0,0.0,0.1765956696046417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654718147849532,0.0,0.0769939144258462,0.10194275454947628,0.0,0.0,0.09878341838610123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224288667124097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453491901464216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098618691244727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201823735645602,0.05976281559427363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18300261450929006,0.06464069196458681,0.0,0.09911911902324597,0.0,0.07696433956489719,0.0,0.0,0.06990652896932452,0.2509487460850375,0.0945467081737434,0.0,0.2056930829448502,0.0,0.07236709398661978,0.0,0.1993532753043366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621090343756054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12129697967081135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945359425451994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841032512267077,0.1813744035482949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692495711777557,0.0,0.0,0.06039774882631591,0.0,0.09090179901303556,0.0,0.0,0.1823031310069279,0.0,0.0959875978602334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923370841979668,0.0,0.06709160222140438,0.0,0.0873885297312305,0.09622912935261832,0.0,0.1773072113466953,0.17364073337512467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10047007088698028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665719099875706,0.0,0.09755540230746848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09050695208526098,0.0,0.057965384812427814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727153178532288,0.0,0.0,0.0905887335049752,0.09157308646813384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716434347996225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527865361978691,0.0,0.3401577696713953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159550216957128,0.08889856368101104,0.0,0.1055221074162047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673780582217632,0.07182077009304629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164635213866357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989283726632506,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,starcoloured,2019/04/15,"Do you have a feeling of waiting? I don't work, don't contact people for months and barely leave home. Sometimes there is a feeling that something GOOD and is about to happen in the near future and I get very excited and happy-nervous. I know that nothing beyond ordinary is not going to happen yet it's hard to fall asleep and just do whatever I do during the day because that mysterious something is about to happen! But after some time I stop feeling that. Do you get this kind of thing?",3.7534375,5.681732468750003,4.7004166666666665,82.73625000000001,73.27083333333334,6.466666666666668,27.625,7.1686216300943375,1.5798375,391,15,70,4,8,127,62,96,0.039,0.826,0.135,0.7888,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,1,6,3,0,0,4,0,11,1,1,0,0,15,22,6,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,7,5,0,2,4,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,4,7,3,13,22,1,12,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,7,53,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12280724948565472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992408503894504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055904564351192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21050753314991955,0.0,0.11449352471677868,0.1689738560969644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5344473359412918,0.0,0.1804672716104204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20207933063931569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20978805681257584,0.1107163390127742,0.0,0.0,0.21331549403074815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608022759230834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19330489206440432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13966597810257442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31018523619113536,0.19924763658833985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16842835106637558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13384009503857872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747208842081568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16622438497414765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466642085643151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,loquacia98,2019/04/16,Opinions: Stopping Abilify I'm on Abilify only and it's been keeping me stable for a few weeks but I think I've been feeling more irritable and starting fights more. I want to stop taking it. Is there any withdrawal symptoms that will make this unbearable? I see my psych on Friday and will tell them I want to get off it.,2.0550223214285737,4.574363921875001,3.647589285714286,85.19562500000002,81.65625,6.7821428571428575,26.330357142857146,7.957251820313856,1.891029464285714,257,11,49,5,7,85,48,64,0.18600000000000005,0.6920000000000001,0.122,-0.8103,0,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,5,1,0,1,0,13,16,4,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,7,0,6,12,3,7,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,1,4,32,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19973249898940654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14850832384078808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15345106618500226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610624559451463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960533398061974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22337927319246856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23404840643955885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078890617390388,0.0,0.0,0.4911085063831993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30527657982057665,0.22083295520460586,0.0,0.25671500669163555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881971572824533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34647488891018474,0.0,0.2355960059991116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Maniackolapse,2019/04/16,"Bipolar w/ ASMR (sidenote on New Age culture & spirituality) Anyone else experiences ASMR on top of your manic episodes? I have type 1 ASMR and Bipolar 1 and I've found it to be a deadly combination. When manic, I'll come up with these metaphysical laws and--despite how compulsive and irrational as fuck they are-- get this huge flood of stimulation from the back of my head all the way to my feet that makes it seem like the universe is confirming my understanding. It got to a point in my development where I believed I was given the date of the end of the world and that the afterlife was split 80% enslaved and 20% saved. Months later, my life has blown into ruins and what was once seeming so inexplicably clear now seems psychotic. Is there a lesson to be had from all of this or can it all be written off as manic thinking? Sidenote: what's extra complicating on top of all of this is the thirst that new age culture seems to have on pondering spirituality and metaphysics. On the one hand, it's nice that there is a community (albeit niche) that embraces neurodivergence and ""out of the box"" thinking. On the other, I'm finding it dangerous because of the community's willingness to affirm these manic thoughts that Im having as reality. The twofold affirmation had me push towards accepting all these thoughts as absolute truths and burning bridges with people that wouldn't accept what I was experiencing. This ended up being a lot of fucking people and I ended up homeless. Yes, I understand that ASMR is a scientifically controversial subject, but it seems there are enough people out there that experience the symptoms of it to talk about it. If you don't know what I'm talking about: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autonomous_sensory_meridian_response",8.761714285714287,9.27581598095238,8.46674603174603,65.52964285714287,60.61904761904761,10.936507936507935,36.86507936507937,10.62613485830676,4.017031746031746,1434,61,236,31,18,460,174,315,0.042,0.887,0.071,0.7068,0,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,2,1,3,13,11,3,0,20,1,24,10,4,3,7,51,47,20,1,2,3,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,30,16,1,0,18,0,0,2,2,4,0,1,12,2,15,6,44,30,8,37,0,1,0,2,8,21,2,8,14,165,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609944668113476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813767411873243,0.11924673252308415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949028909286598,0.0,0.0709451609825991,0.0,0.0,0.13112224233331798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10025246847509152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722191748351823,0.0,0.3092387388840782,0.12025333379766764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22768713060309115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637070071405,0.0,0.0,0.12760644941334334,0.0,0.2151858818073868,0.060804597814542616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308102058460913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944112772318285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571213079030094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06396029979958806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220378656109427,0.056858185394019385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894349935170438,0.0,0.0,0.07768564125023197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289470613104214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248042055212376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394263687804533,0.07886320396785068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420531037486532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001825751913996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5297473214569451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096507453268825,0.0,0.18708629028530535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14914529749312636,0.0,0.1847880273590287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423147609597035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237832018886047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,Iguanada,2019/04/16,"No contact order with my best friend has been lifted. Now struggling to rebuild broken relationships. We have spoken, and I was able to apologize. She said she misses me, only wants The best for me, and that I shouldn't hate myself over what I did, but it doesn't feel like enough. How can I move on when the last thing I said to her was that I wanted to cut her veins out. Truth is, I was blackout drunk and meant to say that about myself, but stil... I put my best friend in physical danger and wasn't able to apologize for months afterward. Really struggling not to have a relapse. It feels like I put a band-aid over the last year of my life and now that it's time to rip it off, I'm realizing the wound is still bleeding. Not sure what the point of this post is. Anyone else been through this?",3.4040740740740745,4.5832698395061735,3.9515432098765437,90.77694444444448,72.82716049382717,7.128395061728394,22.141975308641968,7.492282038375204,0.5738049382716048,622,14,137,7,12,196,98,162,0.161,0.698,0.141,-0.3968,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,0,3,6,15,3,2,7,0,16,5,1,1,2,22,26,9,0,3,4,0,2,2,2,1,3,3,0,0,13,8,1,0,4,1,0,3,6,6,0,0,10,5,21,9,21,15,4,22,0,1,0,0,14,7,0,0,12,97,34,0,0.2821312416499094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863636201986282,0.1445383988989818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4441189979958053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178422250541444,0.0,0.0,0.14575849552955242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14265403287350426,0.20155461540718286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21797389744191548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927309565895776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299746174998864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963881979469856,0.1378350736706707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259723269795292,0.14993043025938754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10728676129770527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13335260811774458,0.0,0.13510187061108536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28361982302998445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037024889212852,0.0,0.0,0.1514516844311532,0.0,0.0,0.2683714182133158,0.1121810436394376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126551870126998,0.0,0.0,0.294944831032464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329526781844714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371773029247067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225649792270337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16640831609353293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084163479321808 bipolarreddit,crustyma,2019/04/16,"Lamictal My doc prescribed 25 mg of lamictal.. ever sense ive started taking it my dreams are so vivid. Not so much nightmares, but just about stuff currently going on in my life. Is this normal???",1.2571171171171187,3.874152054054053,2.7609459459459447,86.25150900900906,96.02702702702706,5.709909909909912,22.382882882882885,7.1686216300943375,1.4420126126126127,154,6,27,3,6,50,33,37,0.0,0.936,0.064,0.3378,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,5,6,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,4,6,1,6,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,3,20,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3851001449074112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419540462759923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3007080212861205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129629621114502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4171282437411639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013362220461499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4873627744291157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200984595725188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,BlueDream808,2019/04/16,"Prescriber & therapist make me feel way worse Does anyone else feel like their med prescriber keeps tabs on them like they’re some kind of criminal? I have been stable for years and have even been told my bipolar is in remission, but still see a med prescriber for anxiety. She talks down to me and speaks to me in a manipulative way that feels like subtle interrogation. She puts me in a situation where I don’t have the option to say no to going to see a therapist for something minor I brought up casually about getting flushed when I’m in public... it feels like there is a subtle implication that there will be some type of consequence if I don’t comply. I have never seen a med prescriber in over 10 years who hasn’t treated me like a potential criminal, and like they’re keeping tabs. These people make me feel worse about myself and put me back several steps in my recovery process.",9.006447368421053,7.4691078538011695,8.548589181286554,71.84463815789475,61.105263157894754,12.058771929824562,37.16447368421053,10.9516,3.862584210526317,717,27,135,15,8,229,101,171,0.104,0.7829999999999999,0.113,-0.0736,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,2,0,9,9,0,0,8,0,13,1,0,3,1,20,30,7,0,1,2,0,5,6,0,1,1,2,0,0,5,4,0,2,5,1,0,5,5,0,0,0,5,10,19,9,22,23,2,24,0,0,3,0,10,11,0,4,12,84,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12909912940178606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114953273131768,0.0,0.0,0.0833125498750483,0.12208340129886508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161910472943864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042690924654826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953465487943516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869754525747996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30122946004074275,0.2553626563996088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062251031611049674,0.0,0.0677157716852701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21181224218939865,0.0,0.12407653788769255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492644461301071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15906729040270798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.397046842855842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189593511513587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260370626888283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395576050035144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09475297549359687,0.0,0.0,0.18989447398455125,0.0,0.0,0.134605746059514,0.0,0.0,0.13392975214061026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172760069191216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515345755339626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576837105366988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766849974137303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385306703494595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18915167395045396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428483485705341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153457570300836 bipolarreddit,anniza,2019/04/16,"Physically feel like shit all the time DAE feel sick all the time? Idk if its bipolar related or not, no doctor seems to really want to consider anything else causing me to feel like this. Basically majority of the time I feel like I'm coming down with the flu, I'm nauseous, tired, my bones hurt and feel dizzy. I am just so sick of this, when its paired with a bad/worsening depression living life feels impossible. Today is one of those days, I just want/need to lay in bed and sleep but I have responsibilities. I am just so sick of this, I'm exhausted.",5.181506493506493,5.728866709090909,6.30766233766234,77.82863636363639,68.27272727272727,10.285714285714286,28.441558441558442,10.290406445055957,2.6329740259740246,438,14,91,11,7,147,71,110,0.217,0.7140000000000001,0.069,-0.9456,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,6,7,1,0,5,0,4,12,3,1,2,23,16,8,0,2,7,0,6,3,0,0,9,0,1,0,6,5,0,0,7,0,0,1,2,4,0,1,0,6,7,3,12,16,3,9,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,3,9,50,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935810499803652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14139762398516334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17396595947767735,0.0,0.14587739660464416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921476867160508,0.0,0.14585827407261234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733337722582766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14146764095819664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5137614168736693,0.3629444702795175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18128940526329665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961475419984985,0.2482030872787299,0.0,0.14953645346741715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475387147788232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10848798822069497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15416709690619348,0.0,0.0,0.17383220366264954,0.0,0.0,0.1694692435846769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962426933790758,0.1946393993213381,0.16052110098034694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19977042951082735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,lizzylou94,2019/04/16,"Struggling to get the help I need! Around the age of 19/20 I began struggling badly with my mental health. I began drinking heavily, doing drugs and staying up all night on my PC. Having just enough sleep to sober up a little so I could go to work and live a seemingly normal life. One morning I was on the transfer bus from the car park to my office and as it pulled in to the stop before my office I got off the bus and found myself on a train to the seaside. I love the seaside, it is where I go when I need to calm my mind. I texted work letting them know I wouldn’t be in work today then went and found a place to sit! Today was different though, instead of calming thoughts and feeling refreshed, my head was spinning with thoughts like walking into the sea or stepping in front of a train anything to just end it all. In a panic I ran back to the train station, getting on the first train home. 35 minuets into the journey the train stopped. A person had stepped out in front of the train I was on. My mind was all over, at the time I was thinking it was a sign. I thought about it for the next 3 hours and had basically talked myself into doing it. By time I had reached my car I had managed to buy enough packets of pills to take my own life. I started to take them, I had taken about 100/150 pills and then in a split second I changed my mind. I ran back to the train station looking for help. I was crying so much I couldn’t even get my words out I kind of just threw my empty packets at the feet of the first ‘official’ person I found. Within a few hours I was in hospital and my mum was there. The next few days I had explained what had happened. My mum didn’t believe me, she refused to believe it. She would say things like ‘but you’re always so happy’, ‘you have no reason to do something like that’ or ‘it just doesn’t make sense’. So that was the first time I really knew I had a problem, work organised for me to see a councilor. I had 6 sessions, but I felt like I was getting nowhere. So, I stopped going. I went to my local doctor’s office, and they gave me some pills. Then some more pills and again some more. Most of the time I would just stopped taking my pills as they started causing me problems with my job. A few years later I felt like I was no better, so I decided to start therapy again, and once again I got nowhere, the therapist would call me by the wrong name or show up late. So, I stopped going. After a few months my doctor sent me to a new therapist it was here that my therapist told me she believed I was Bipolar. I felt like I had answers and I could fix it on my own. So, I stopped going. A few weeks later I relocated to be with my boyfriend over 100 miles from ‘home’ and from my Doctors. But I felt great, my mind was distracted by all the new things going on I felt happy and normal for once. Boy was I wrong!! Once everything had settled down it hit me and hard! Self-harm was on my mind ALL the time! It still is but since moving to a new house I feel like the change is distracting me right now and everything will come back once I am not so busy. I also feel like I am not good enough and that I am alone despite having an amazing boyfriend and a great job. I know that I need to go to my new doctors and get some help but at the same time I don’t want to because I am scared! I don’t know much or anything about the treatment for being Bipolar but if the road is as rocky as it was when I was being treated just for depression I am not sure I could cope. I promised my boyfriend I would try and get help, and in my mind, I want to but only when I physically can’t. Like the middle of the night or on a weekend. I need help to overcome this by someone who understands how I am feeling but no one does ☹ TL:DR After an attempted suicide I tried to get help and for years nothing worked, I tired therapy and medication. I finally found out I am bipolar, but I relocated before I started treatment and can’t bring myself to go to my new doctor to get treatment. Need advice from someone who understands.",3.621029994340688,4.291688397849462,4.48857448280199,89.0359026598755,71.831541218638,7.164006791171478,27.706910645790106,7.0608816371341465,1.2055524492234166,3147,109,688,27,57,1018,304,837,0.097,0.802,0.1,0.6411,3,1,3,0,1,1,74.0,0,1,4,10,38,35,0,6,53,0,69,24,3,4,6,140,145,62,1,21,24,2,10,9,0,6,19,1,2,3,24,37,1,7,28,3,1,26,14,12,0,6,58,13,122,23,103,71,25,133,0,1,2,1,31,43,0,12,71,485,146,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042687115447966974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04524304284379433,0.0,0.03493376495037967,0.03634826066842995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07189577339526729,0.03888767193176335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007699926845766,0.03647398740392512,0.026629121534456117,0.0,0.07434306467203174,0.14764939899794186,0.0,0.03863460071853294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04460584714150038,0.0,0.0,0.04487509786845037,0.09242292850147296,0.0376295596511118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10463341750990536,0.0,0.04798439136056807,0.028172312833691614,0.0,0.0376246269303715,0.0,0.0,0.045640072014000506,0.0,0.22356011536256729,0.038227819099531817,0.0,0.0,0.042793304600413216,0.050659115804341896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038690710058556434,0.1354105310187554,0.0,0.028852610611107787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07852001895581999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835097752250387,0.062415155522407936,0.2097155674121363,0.04785325652507892,0.0,0.11147176208109406,0.0,0.19158728251201196,0.0,0.0,0.18258305458824095,0.0,0.1986112055997148,0.03663973722233205,0.0698755426126023,0.09632266246099136,0.0,0.0,0.038629269640441416,0.09300402446195613,0.0391319317779114,0.0,0.044831983778756204,0.04643363178913014,0.0,0.0,0.17568120684799446,0.0,0.08763643966840025,0.0,0.0860391075342853,0.05040501771477493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08669847944614431,0.0,0.0,0.045489754755821885,0.07202210438966637,0.0,0.04927701172317168,0.0,0.0,0.044669448087256175,0.06171004738335219,0.1920744357055738,0.04378245057870324,0.03857342553910601,0.0,0.036683228108138434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03942616108195873,0.0,0.029159147060670982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04400663857471149,0.044022801632834736,0.0,0.26464794326898466,0.0,0.03486783855600579,0.046428761272850116,0.0642249552856316,0.1619542063840611,0.0,0.21094950054980385,0.09291602382010447,0.08198821242605034,0.08560132043072244,0.04191559932778426,0.0,0.0,0.18608646425009587,0.05920228565191595,0.03322335178662991,0.0,0.05125330097091372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628568182361338,0.045640072014000506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359862511236611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027984837399064117,0.0449140237668083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03730556192435125,0.0,0.0347389578317342,0.04373491154293785,0.0,0.034810179257507644,0.03976791541593532,0.04557152942206648,0.0,0.0,0.0361355313466652,0.0,0.043715155047504964,0.0,0.07402595736032379,0.03362977506345249,0.0,0.0,0.12367792825250146,0.04656091305961177,0.034885785193252535,0.2191287101948391,0.0,0.09133518209062813,0.0,0.04778277621566824,0.0,0.0411712828765553,0.0,0.09853390852232936,0.035111228817000406,0.0,0.0,0.09991202395191512,0.1521601048583207,0.05804289521819785,0.027990691671072536,0.04291892234777424,0.10403971399535407,0.15283357615608914,0.050207880437219764,0.0828139038013214,0.041741558765169016,0.0,0.059316603736403226,0.0,0.0,0.09095235150387886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051531446740711716,0.0,0.035040354796433096,0.0,0.0,0.08099028317095952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15901093180456655,0.0,0.0,0.12412632503923815,0.09552233396168264,0.0,0.05626162171552468 bipolarreddit,virtual_girlfriend,2019/04/17,"Bipolar versus ""Trauma"" I have been dxd as Bipolar 1 for the last 5 years, had signs before that. I am on some meds, but we're always trying to find a better combo, and I do weekly ECT which helps the most. I have to do therapy, so I have been the the last few months, and my therapist wanted me to meet the Therapy head Counselor Manager person, and had me take this one 1-4 on each question thing After, my therapist who is still in school to become a social worker, says she doesn't think I'm Bipolar, and the manager comes in and sees the sheet of paper and says something like ""yeah, this is very common for people that think they have Bipolar t's just their Trauma response"" and I'm supposed to hear from the Trauma dept for other info.....but I have been dx'd by more than 1 doctor by this.....this is completely setting me off. I see my regular Psych tomorrow but wanted to know if anyone had any similar experiences....",7.319289617486341,5.942184535519129,7.815409836065572,75.24584699453555,64.30054644808743,10.537704918032787,31.80874316939891,9.444778638647367,2.7103071038251367,722,21,138,11,9,240,115,183,0.042,0.898,0.06,0.4767,0,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,2,2,3,5,0,0,10,1,18,6,1,0,0,24,30,12,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,1,8,9,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,6,5,16,2,21,24,5,16,0,0,2,0,12,5,0,4,10,92,24,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393215947918902,0.0,0.0,0.10128606298479234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414411618134883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16449537961464678,0.1267391668497115,0.0,0.0,0.13172760978416395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830084581911527,0.1561634631150514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15244904356242664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14569442470018587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613082131115206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15285805871484148,0.0,0.1678691143433571,0.0,0.0998330729091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185494769308567,0.2428161663023055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07276582201669418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16544163151823346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888454768265475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092734799437478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325803250025133,0.13005091731877766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16684977856578356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23689023810058804,0.0,0.1507378443007422,0.2373759078374597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15182820521663706,0.0,0.11466327603491006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118945738107409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11198628527227238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3406576451965383,0.34586763410204685,0.09895083305957633,0.1908727845745368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112223609654933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228932283951724,0.17570038725979786,0.0,0.1194727549263636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591413931206667 bipolarreddit,Jaym2199,2019/04/17,"Bipolar and pregnant. Hey everyone, im a 20 year old in a bit of a tough and embarrassing situation. Ive been on medication for a couple years but i recently found out i was pregnant and don't really know what to do. My support system is very weak so if anyone has any words of advice or anything useful please message me, or comment and i can message you.",4.217500000000001,5.173940194444448,6.414888888888887,74.719,70.66666666666667,9.093333333333334,32.455555555555556,9.3871,3.0799022222222225,282,13,53,6,5,100,57,72,0.1,0.76,0.14,0.6137,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,1,4,0,8,3,0,1,0,13,12,9,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,7,1,7,9,1,8,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,3,4,35,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246164387132196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15631261752468648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607233899746495,0.0,0.18915511635193769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509474828942626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543356127026167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21964098950652744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25202952137306545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24828814138727034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12632499234542888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23155967164003474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24119930353398655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523171498827818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472541409411554,0.0,0.2269589255261187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583721637951004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608422960518045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19852515597905768,0.0,0.1896584943714594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29604448493071833 bipolarreddit,gab714gg,2019/04/17,"What is going on with me? I feel like my brain is continuously struggling to figure out if I should cry for hours or go and get a ton of shit done. Like... I have this urge to get all of my course work done but I'm also too sad to care about it. I keep going through these dysphoric episodes. Had one last night in fact. I don't know if it counts as a nervous breakdown or not. I don't know what triggered it. Something just snapped. I started to feel super tense. I considered dropping out of college. I was curled up in a ball for a good 45 minutes crying until my eyes were dried out later that night. And then one thing lead to the next, I was having flashbacks from my emotionally abusive mother. I desperately wanted to cut myself and I hated absolutely everything that I was thinking about. Punching myself in the head. Staring at the scars all over my arms and hating every ounce of myself. I went on a long walk in the night. I probably looked like a crackhead or something. Stumbling around with tears running down my face. I was losing my fucking mind. Later that night, I couldn't sleep and went to bed super late. And now I'm writing this at my school. It scares me that such a thing happened to me and I'm just able to ignore it and start being productive today. Well. Not productive. More barely functioning enough to make it school and back home. I'm so emotionally exhausted, yet wired. It's like there's a continuous battle going on in my head That no one else understands. I hadn't taken anything that night except my Lamictal. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH MY HEAD. I'm rambling all over the place. Maybe somebody can make something of this. tldr. I went insane last night and don't know what to make of it.",2.0323004769475332,4.533395123529413,3.090842607313196,89.26973767885535,81.58823529411767,5.558028616852146,22.130365659777425,6.885778809224403,0.6729618441971379,1362,44,268,16,37,435,178,340,0.196,0.7240000000000001,0.079,-0.9923,0,0,3,0,0,1,39.0,0,0,0,5,14,23,7,3,14,0,21,12,9,5,4,52,58,21,0,5,11,1,2,4,0,1,1,0,2,0,24,17,0,2,8,1,0,11,8,14,1,3,13,5,36,9,48,42,6,56,0,2,3,2,2,20,3,5,28,183,60,5,0.08329586255891126,0.09869197649206776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06661167119439508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06854539761853286,0.07415097742580917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06404937676105116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298573021143386,0.0,0.0,0.08492568325704188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18299318749716348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704811742070932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958300487633683,0.18739326812436036,0.0,0.08606689241093607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07018035672697683,0.0,0.07486095031972649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423378174084349,0.059506580855386515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540113654481318,0.08703730055417355,0.0,0.2366947912306761,0.0698646175689831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365825617203467,0.0,0.0,0.16447483896247014,0.2564567575271189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355254167609373,0.0,0.0820296459467465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403718985606232,0.0,0.0,0.13733168306214055,0.13579449067238653,0.093961361078849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16277660403899874,0.0,0.0,0.07371421719670325,0.06994754595043302,0.093186763946938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680190518313864,0.0,0.08368188966530149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410507620323995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858609480235989,0.469005146370368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16933029655135493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702644775343843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898070280322724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339368950218085,0.16859971972696808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855020059230138,0.0,0.0,0.08335601783468098,0.0,0.0,0.1923756733965044,0.0,0.0,0.11791448048129832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707892101728648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106761397443736,0.05337262538823239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07895473817628026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671393051019509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049130057858628624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489298387140557,0.2316482972929435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060640379991822486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,jWlt6400,2019/04/17,"Starting Lamictal Very recently diagnosed and have been prescribed lamictal. That being said, never medicated for anything else, especially not mental health-wise. So, I wanted to put it out to all you wonderful people for any advice, general or specific, be it things to watch out for, make sure of, or anything else. Any advice/help would be greatly appreciated!",8.818442622950819,10.501609491803285,9.121434426229511,56.82838114754103,60.639344262295076,12.657377049180331,39.84016393442623,12.161744961471696,5.945619672131147,293,15,39,10,4,97,48,61,0.0,0.848,0.152,0.8716,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,3,14,11,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,2,2,2,9,5,1,6,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,3,3,28,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20326586181283912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829091147148183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3423505239585263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111267033523268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3475328615145683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22933277163113036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211058789911065,0.0,0.0,0.13942533377081728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13884890311314968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209549116202952,0.2096260808304392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16043084356300286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14420857964548478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091084257671173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20538568707379012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19786601720551186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14723119851067665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960478286719598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381932111695451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17163079216014346,0.1226902289167451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22557896760922705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477649881468096,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,georgiehedd,2019/04/17,"Help me. Anyone else had the struggle of being pushed into a wrong diagnosis? Hey so this is my first post here and i need some advice as this has been stressing me out. Sorry if it’s a bit long . Basically after about 5 years of therapy at multiple hospitals with multiple people I got diagnosed with bipolar 2. It was such a relief to know what was wrong with me and why these sudden breakdowns and well “mental” episodes had been happening to me. It fit and was comforting having confirmation that it’s not me or who I am. I have bad depressive episodes roughly every two years, always when I’m perfectly content with my life, no events no reasonable triggers nothing. Manics have been less visible to my hospital as well I was off doing “far more important things” E.g my ,now I look back on it, completely incoherent master piece of an application to a prestigious design school. Instead of attending appointments. Although they did see a couple days which confirmed to them bipolar. In between those times I’m just normal happy average George. So getting to the point my second admittion to the priory hospital ( private so not related to my previous treatment) happened last year during a depressive episode. In one session my consultant told me he didn’t think it was bipolar. I asked why, his response was nothing more than” you don’t look like someone with bipolar” What the fuck does that mean?!? So he told me in his opinion it’s BPD. Disregarding my previous YEARS under the nhs who All agreed on bipolar. Now I’m out patient and have been back home nearly a year and doing really well despite Having had loss and a difficult home life. he’s referred me to a therapist. Turns out she only treats personality disorders. I had my first session with her and she went through the criteria of what is needed for a diagnosis of bpd. ( that’s what he had changed my diagnosis to on my notes!!!) I’ve met him maybe 5 times over two years including inpatient stays. Now with bipolar I do have the symptoms she is describing but only when I have episodes. When I made it clear it’s only in episodes that these are present and my episodes tend to be separated by months or years where none of these symptoms exist she scoffed and said that doesn’t matter and ticked them off anyway. Im finding it hard having people try to make out that the way I am when I’m ill is a problem with my personality and therefore something I can control. I came to this subreddit as I’m hoping you understand how horrible it is for someone to 1. Make out like you have control over this by changing your thinking. 2. And taking away the only thing that makes sense of why I do and say and feel these intense almost out of body episodes. I know full well it’s not like me to go out for three days and not sleep going to random places not having any sense of danger and losing who I am. I’m not putting anyone with bpd down. It’s just a very different experience when it feels chemical. I would choose bipolar over bpd any day because I have long periods of time of being normal. I’m really scared they are going to change my meds and what treatments they’ll give me. Anyone had similar to this??? Sorry it’s so long x",3.651589635854344,5.981634756535954,4.656129785247434,81.1454411764706,74.80065359477123,7.900840336134454,28.575630252100844,8.738905477910976,2.474561064425771,2549,108,463,54,56,829,291,612,0.092,0.8390000000000001,0.069,-0.952,2,0,1,0,0,0,52.0,0,4,5,8,29,27,2,3,22,0,52,16,2,10,3,85,96,37,0,8,12,0,4,3,0,2,13,2,2,2,43,36,0,3,12,0,0,8,12,14,4,7,26,9,60,13,77,65,9,77,0,4,3,1,36,31,1,8,38,326,103,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062364120185179686,0.0,0.0,0.06390646491259838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05310331403421557,0.0,0.0,0.08679951406598314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338731866603844,0.06539108451539717,0.0,0.0,0.059663041700611735,0.0,0.059960947377407516,0.09814721013418294,0.053286995624330716,0.038904051453766485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06967486027755743,0.07088958144331384,0.3215159905250519,0.0,0.0,0.0729930252662587,0.0,0.0,0.20253914654732094,0.0,0.06691400728687989,0.0,0.1431590097145128,0.0,0.07061556495519218,0.0,0.12347577143715155,0.0,0.10993606530609404,0.06477590966204058,0.0,0.06667826828942927,0.07314319610493754,0.0,0.055849271606241854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053313382164857336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053771063570778994,0.0,0.0,0.06242816086156828,0.0,0.0,0.0645385723873497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05833028153629247,0.10857044012344473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05900051886563493,0.03334329176563213,0.06122191497917118,0.1088110513514502,0.0,0.051042647081749784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287154867415325,0.067937527499613,0.05717014304821449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04277716973521237,0.0,0.12803323435483285,0.06338761418293873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06893650161464919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07014755509573993,0.05202178024623581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015584143509507,0.09353761720320587,0.0,0.0,0.16943595232954378,0.10718537537655344,0.07139820374010558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060387983345082275,0.12780094410494688,0.0,0.06411572153189415,0.06951863909994466,0.07088958144331384,0.0,0.06431550277190691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0509404782095144,0.0,0.0,0.09464337409954472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250600088417523,0.12247393372354333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043246052337898896,0.19415180267230456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848944050453443,0.11145024393731393,0.06667826828942927,0.0,0.0603304847307085,0.0,0.06112187423282694,0.0,0.0,0.061067076670692236,0.0,0.06415668071346801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176939315776914,0.06561754165861895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06070739064353769,0.050752188771502976,0.0638949071898902,0.06458920038496682,0.05085624034561575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386604376253784,0.0,0.10814887942638178,0.049131718361578716,0.0,0.14288242642471768,0.0,0.06802357918798245,0.0,0.0,0.07310554140144929,0.06671847246247327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13266673635098694,0.047984662732656884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298367908317567,0.0740998852322764,0.0847982829314338,0.08178649885907026,0.0,0.0,0.11164178478336488,0.0,0.0,0.12196540151422765,0.0,0.043329559347982466,0.06941778332458386,0.12468564283368284,0.06643882259070227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0526581456142809,0.0,0.05065730871653707,0.0,0.0,0.2295272115769509,0.05916173651581335,0.17276274511575412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04533586406375699,0.13955420161422422,0.0,0.2876857045927475 bipolarreddit,blvklee,2019/04/18,How many of you take or have taken Lamictal? I’ve been on Lamictal for over 2 years. I started with small doses but as of August I’ve been at 300 mg a day. The last couple months I’ve been kind of foggy and just haven’t really felt like myself. If it is my Lamictal I don’t understand why it’s just now happening since I’ve been on it for so long. It’s also made my mouth kind of numb for a couple hours after I’ve taken it after I moved up to about 200 mg. Im curious about what other people’s experiences are.,2.4301106194690263,3.074255407079648,4.955918141592921,84.68927544247789,74.57522123893807,8.481858407079647,21.204646017699112,8.841846274778883,1.1414787610619466,403,8,91,8,8,144,73,113,0.034,0.902,0.064,0.4728,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,0,3,0,9,3,1,2,0,11,17,8,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,8,1,7,3,19,9,0,18,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,2,12,55,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861898583899053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43893702673828855,0.0,0.12791818164364144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940226020333041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19044537950496507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17539866037259552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953330252116421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2142500953697213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4130982604183602,0.0,0.16168025817965534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0969029127629568,0.0,0.0,0.1755319175153796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18768186501822184,0.0,0.20109394530411992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15831964284431305,0.21081274913599166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375096692118836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12706693748623168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16407568274139864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14039187858755264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14913316350493436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20648747387675795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17897840162286152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772973927730713 bipolarreddit,Sunflower1000,2019/04/18,"What do you think? I have a question: If someone did horrible things while manic: Cheating on spouse, sleeping with prostitutes, breaking up your family, verbal/mental/physical abuse Should they be responsible for their actions? What if they didn’t have insight that their disease caused them to behave so abnormally? My husband was recently diagnosed as having bpd w psychotic features. For the past year he’s made my life a living hell. He’s currently still unstable and delusional. He’s been on treatment w antipsychotics for 3 weeks (almost 4) but delusions are still present. His delusions were all centered around me being unfaithful. This lead him to act extremely abnormal as a result. I wonder what will happen if he ever gains insight, is it possible to recognize how his thinking has been ? For any or you who have experienced delusions firsthand, were you able to look back after the fact and realize your thoughts were not consistent with reality? Because he thinks/thought I was unfaithful he searched for endless women on dating sites and hook up apps (while he was manic/hyper sexual) He’s now involved with another woman, and told her he’s never been married and doesn’t have children. I know if he were stable, he never would’ve behaved this way. I don’t know what to do anymore or how to help! Please advise! Thanks everyone!",6.2416912574322865,8.540116564853562,6.201145122219777,73.0079541951112,67.4518828451883,9.383043382514863,34.754679585994275,9.811843763644266,3.9382,1085,53,166,26,19,342,158,239,0.05,0.866,0.084,0.8759999999999999,1,0,0,0,1,0,33.0,0,5,5,2,9,3,2,0,5,0,28,3,1,6,5,40,39,19,0,5,8,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,10,9,0,0,10,0,0,3,6,2,0,0,15,2,22,1,23,20,1,30,1,0,1,0,36,8,1,9,17,114,32,2,0.15369302833277765,0.1821011065043644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390136696333126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451652962480032,0.16116054094892202,0.0,0.0,0.1524221855574366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13681938003040478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818045188343933,0.0,0.09368984354454718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19357098890561628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15788507679088296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15599518854493874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390241432189272,0.0,0.14686027494200185,0.0,0.0,0.14488810878290626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359102373756545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10301719718146664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16893133790352569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10855793115427956,0.0,0.0,0.13571375980465275,0.0,0.12906343522122574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14542805955043345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15488642357338522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370750766497808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14671738627228484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16870879195919114,0.0,0.17326579664335548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217136603463812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15175332381352505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538040235997599,0.0,0.13022360415363418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454789019198689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414998911792435,0.0,0.0,0.10210681874783392,0.1969605734063137,0.0,0.24403019363673364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14686027494200185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219943720689454,0.12328327670799726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16667353312124833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917911765919767,0.0,0.0,0.0989732712224385 bipolarreddit,nocreativeway,2019/04/18,Antipsychotics without insurance? Any cheap antipsychotics you would recommend. I’ve been on 80mg of Latuda for three years and loved it but I can no longer afford it. Any recommendation would be greatly appreciated.,5.589166666666671,9.325777361111118,5.573555555555558,67.92700000000002,80.94444444444444,9.546666666666667,29.422222222222214,9.3871,4.074395555555556,179,8,26,6,5,56,31,36,0.068,0.7090000000000001,0.222,0.7422,1,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,5,6,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,4,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5053849647619529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4096769198348105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3353725451579819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3581974302201962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5279306988953246,0.0,0.0,0.2392903943935503 bipolarreddit,PM_ME_FLUFFY_CLOUDS,2019/04/18,"About to make a terrible financial decision for my own mental health... As the title says, I'm about to make a stupid decision. We're in debt $4k due to my stupid spending in the past (we all know what this is like.) Here's the thing, I haven't seen my mom in 5 years. I haven't seen any family besides who I brought with me when I moved away, and I miss them so much. Since I left I've had at least one psychotic break, I lost a chance to obtain my dream job, and I lost the chance to graduate this year (something I was on track for in the last few years.) I just want to hug my mom. Even thirty-somethings need to see their mom sometimes. We're going on a vacation back home. It's going to throw us into another $2k of debt even while making use of rewards miles/points. We're already doing it, the plans are set in motion, but I feel really awful that I have to sacrifice more financial security just to get a break from my stressful life. Is this the kind of debt that's ""ok?"" I miss home so much it makes me cry, I need to go back to my roots and find strength there. I guess I just need to know that this is an OK thing to do. I feel so guilty for putting my family in debt and that I can't get a job to pay it all back. I can't keep living like this without the support of my friends and family, and they're all so far away :(",4.4094120209059255,3.610660627177701,5.384719076655056,88.4054409843206,69.90592334494774,9.265592334494775,26.648301393728232,8.660442795831766,1.4168329268292688,1028,25,250,15,16,340,148,287,0.17800000000000002,0.735,0.087,-0.9769,6,0,2,0,0,0,38.0,2,0,2,6,17,19,2,1,15,3,13,3,0,6,3,36,43,14,0,4,5,3,2,2,1,0,2,1,2,0,17,9,0,2,7,1,6,8,5,8,0,1,7,6,34,11,40,36,9,36,1,4,3,1,10,14,0,1,13,152,51,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004886090293484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781632332625948,0.1045702090536462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18738957414918064,0.23004678105583676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10954307407736584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173465670318987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820351632404461,0.0,0.10084776946351527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114671377929327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704717811160129,0.0,0.10420424489570222,0.0,0.17002780532413314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985817445065976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600286098320108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20006432780058334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19792306804517384,0.08864003609979576,0.0,0.10384809380062557,0.10961234813602797,0.08128906957945624,0.0,0.0,0.1083513502878603,0.0,0.0704386166017661,0.09744105689498678,0.0,0.08805887688554442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21772292627186446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26626846905260576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049920158665752,0.0,0.0,0.3503896461379748,0.0,0.10599174213162188,0.14661849061715726,0.2218341563667195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06757614485495503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519866130978018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427222497622507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002510267395438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06388629780074441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07930520994915244,0.0,0.0,0.07946780061036915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249343327892238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354613600489414,0.09863043477477176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423448819893528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11316658735766733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250552919958006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995672568593432,0.08613025857714665,0.0,0.0,0.05882030518230572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961312046704435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19265861732991746 bipolarreddit,anonymousgirl56,2019/04/18,"manic/hypomanic thoughts i’m 18 years old, recently diagnosed and medicated. i’m not sure if it’s type one or two because i cant tell if i’ve technically reaches mania or if it’s just been hypomania. but during my last episode (at 17) i got involved with a 21 year old and ended up sexually assaulted (among much more) but because i was so “high” i didnt care at all in the moment and didn’t even realize that’s what it had been until other people pointed it out afterwards. and i still didn’t care until i had a pregnancy scare and my uncle died and i fell into a depressive episode and realized i had been sexually assaulted, which was hard to deal with mostly in the fact that i hadn’t cared at all. this did end in me going to the hospital when i “came down” but not being hospitalized, so i don’t know if it technically would be considered a manic episode or just hypomanic? now i can tell i’m teaching a high again because i don’t care about the situation or think about it negatively at all anymore. i’m not sure if i’m asking something or just want someone to relate to not really being able to process negative emotions or situations when you’re manic or hypomanic because EVERYTHING just seems so good. i also can tell when i’m higher rather than low because i have a lot of thoughts and ideas about human power and control and essentially have the thought that nothing really matters so i might as well be selfish and have fun because we’re all technically the god of our own universe.",9.975303030303033,6.760724080808082,10.510984848484851,63.786477272727296,60.717171717171716,13.940404040404045,42.93181818181819,12.161744961471696,5.098654545454545,1200,54,225,30,12,414,155,297,0.17,0.76,0.07,-0.9857,1,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,0,2,21,15,2,1,12,0,27,2,0,1,7,63,48,37,1,8,24,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,13,16,0,1,9,0,0,3,13,6,1,2,18,1,20,9,28,24,9,37,0,2,0,0,8,16,0,16,18,161,33,2,0.10121984926843897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08094547689024635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003828918894394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946268953907196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3702160837521956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576854228757158,0.4128015291139968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352666785303472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104353220047094,0.08718050785600844,0.10273601634637697,0.10505022298738156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385870660774294,0.17930148561774553,0.0,0.0,0.06685475581466978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096987382891514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057525572951595626,0.08489840722314546,0.08095476006917418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906731033399593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21388865621492206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142648893016698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055627782030188234,0.08250768678709668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860534961919633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10196834926972333,0.0,0.10737826443367088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744082357174287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712317528749824,0.0,0.2124264095917411,0.0,0.068589189454583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017309871514672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568547470528352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12968805464746375,0.0,0.0999423898989811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10133872706318099,0.0,0.0,0.09214674922231304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275507030463243,0.0,0.0,0.08576324981432222,0.07792398512125705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083430237678492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19079702009558425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26541182911820005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485759233283525,0.0,0.24107176185678336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09887708491592513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597020896143905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100880050753854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190367678094815,0.0,0.0,0.13036452861151715 bipolarreddit,newsoberliving,2019/04/19,"How to talk to your friends/family about the severity of your illness Hi everyone, I have been diagnosed for 2 years now, but people in my life really do not seem to understand the difficulty of having bipolar II and what it means to have to deal with it everyday. My father said upon hearing that I was diagnosed ask me if ""they gave me meds for that"", as though that would solve the problem. My mother basically said nothing. My grandmother now seems to think I am a loaded gun headed for a psychiatric hospital and the rest of my family treats me like I am a child. I have my brothers and they are kind. My partner is supportive, but my friends aren't. I don't know what to do anymore to help other people understand that I am fighting a disorder that has taken more years from me already than they would care to think about. My bipolar manifests as extreme depression for months with about 4 days of hypomanic episodes afterward. I am on a pretty good medication load, but my baseline of depression has never lifted. I have problems with compulsive behaviors like drinking, smoking, sex, drugs and food. I am not sure how else to talk to people about the severity of my illness and why it causes me to act in this way. I don't want to be the fucked up guy all of the time and I want people to see me as a human.",6.865630580357141,6.491004480468752,7.4898660714285725,73.93281250000003,64.7421875,11.376785714285715,35.082589285714285,10.914260884657429,3.822566741071429,1041,43,196,26,14,346,137,256,0.149,0.716,0.135,-0.4805,0,0,2,1,2,0,23.0,0,2,3,0,9,15,2,0,13,0,24,14,1,3,3,35,44,16,0,7,6,3,0,2,2,2,9,3,0,4,12,9,2,0,8,1,0,1,6,6,0,0,6,4,34,9,42,35,3,17,0,2,1,2,24,5,1,3,12,146,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160667993466175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928720634977368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302063278067386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235461801466988,0.1132041172595116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106885459828857,0.11360971653527235,0.1898274491281119,0.22369812239253511,0.0,0.0,0.12629691902305953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107952483716209,0.12779516386993306,0.0,0.09205662684551298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529929821878206,0.0,0.0,0.2077704972445644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332523484835917,0.0,0.08513901417617041,0.10187664950819084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09242919360384674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911374610341636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309535554762445,0.0,0.12420161116623847,0.0,0.07386366784318146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147546807937984,0.060562161331327274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07783639225204271,0.10767474848081607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003836857774824,0.12240558526154435,0.11101329935841796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795931534346317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08499180328460032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573834145643614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055907944127313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211139470567777,0.0,0.2108899815148424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059591989523649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20964783625829414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781386117626737,0.2006409779031125,0.0,0.24898566135125536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12505184383725665,0.10386069236316596,0.0,0.0,0.17714660704594076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122137633641446,0.10826937319116503,0.0,0.06425757602090278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294408514685868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299957485661357,0.087470364402995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943692005100914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15656357002190754,0.0,0.0,0.14192831936690492 bipolarreddit,benJD85,2019/04/19,"Book: The Master Key System The Master Key System by Charles F. Haanel [http://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/mks/](http://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/mks/) &#x200B; I am finding this book useful for controlling my thoughts, concentrating on what I need to do and meditating.",18.93176470588235,22.234230411764702,11.516470588235292,42.77411764705886,39.00000000000001,11.505882352941176,40.52941176470589,11.20814326018867,5.083576470588237,230,8,23,4,2,59,28,34,0.0,0.914,0.086,0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,6,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,4,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,14,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37962017025149297,0.42573164395257207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3929639731185351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32022712690363797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597910979523258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781505559808565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30260273903471224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42573164395257207,0.0 bipolarreddit,EulerSeries,2019/04/19,"Post mania cognitive issues I had a manic episode in December (triggered by Zoloft), and since then have been struggling with cognitive slowness. &#x200B; I used to be a math / computer science major at a top 3 US university doing well (3.9 GPA), and since the episode have been struggling cognitively. Reading, doing math, and programming are all noticeably harder than before. Worse, I find it hard to follow and contribute to conversations, and I used to be a pretty social person. &#x200B; 1. Has anyone else experienced cognitive slowness, and improvements over time? 2. I also feel like my memories of my past are foggy, including childhood experiences and knowledge of subjects studied in school. Should I expect this to come back? &#x200B; I did find this study by Torres et al. 2013 ([https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/bdi.12154](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/bdi.12154)) that shows a linear improvement in cognition over a 12-month period following mania, so that is encouraging. I'd be very curious to hear from the community to get some perspectives. Thanks!",10.227758768177937,13.793940556886227,8.1399871685201,57.94905688622757,59.59880239520957,10.759452523524379,36.479469632164246,10.7630783206399,5.0856846877673245,911,41,108,25,14,270,116,167,0.058,0.8,0.142,0.9275,0,0,0,0,0,0,69.0,1,0,0,1,4,6,0,2,8,0,16,1,0,3,1,20,25,10,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,5,9,0,0,4,2,0,3,0,2,1,0,4,4,10,4,20,17,3,19,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,9,73,15,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092531464434108,0.0,0.3761079718012044,0.4217928279008894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090556537003156,0.11855628736840887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897213538594828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09845879272379904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09967200115629547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665899722201972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318440478292766,0.0,0.0,0.058505326765913,0.08266165630264027,0.0,0.0,0.21150961698665693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060452535841398786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036514374757192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304110697954927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12076885341078175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05652897336633275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235684066180803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173406670858606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045616213893852,0.0,0.10103156451243946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11081606215502547,0.11771640305263975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573908537937785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171024438344164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914293313853196,0.0,0.0,0.11794950336684593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419257748257645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652817174462656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0674701330575736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13918220445249585,0.19986873083242893,0.0,0.0954710307987662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403518406312404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791610609533132,0.0,0.0,0.4217928279008894,0.0 bipolarreddit,aspicyfrenchfry,2019/04/19,"Does anyone have experience getting meds from a PCP instead of a psychiatrist? I have an HSA through United Healthcare from my employer, so my monthly premiums are lower but my deductible is $5,000. I turned 26 a few months ago and was taken off of my parents' insurance, so it took me a while to find a psychiatrist in my area that took United. When I initially set up the appointment with the new psychiatrist, I was told the initial appointment would be $150 but after that it would be $68 until my deductible is met. Today I found out that it's actually going to be $120 per appointment until my deductible is met. I'm waiting for someone in the claims department at UHC to give me a call back to see why it's so expensive, but I was wondering if anyone has experience just going the primary care physician route in the meantime? It would be much cheaper for me as I'm in an entry level position and the payments would be easier on my wallet. I am seeing a therapist regularly (it's $60 per session with my therapist until my deductible is met), so I will absolutely still be getting care",9.695057113187953,6.968842046728977,10.390809968847352,62.91644340602289,60.77570093457944,13.81017653167186,42.93665628245068,12.261556223090626,5.2814855659397715,874,41,156,23,9,303,117,214,0.008,0.902,0.09,0.9563,3,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,16,0,23,1,0,0,0,18,45,16,0,5,5,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,9,5,0,1,3,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,11,2,21,2,27,23,2,30,0,0,2,0,7,11,0,2,13,114,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.13379989687083518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121540028598443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19174145166620568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542937509131488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000496966197212,0.0,0.27958622449664955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199861676496183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26824041065403303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531635128220392,0.0,0.0,0.15033439220773245,0.0,0.0,0.14326896952167742,0.13152871547389214,0.15584591256784538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522986595713828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2188803034600513,0.0,0.10079186353957358,0.0,0.0,0.1324220043663542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15224478780684805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21851835143562925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11617313175953692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10949648108064408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31839130561923795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299645543387329,0.13101478938450092,0.3046692276483505,0.0,0.1491366592311565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237207403838394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14869029658615815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38959695835934943,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,snxwfall,2019/04/19,Grapefruits? Someone just informed me that grapefruits and juice can increase blood levels of some bipolar medications and cause problems. Is this true?,8.410724637681156,12.806988913043476,4.843478260869572,73.99246376811597,72.91304347826087,4.8057971014492775,42.44927536231884,6.42735559955562,3.769040579710145,127,8,14,1,3,34,21,23,0.096,0.71,0.194,0.4137,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,1,1,8,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5337924733908269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.523462088467699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4972057888499417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44027200776615977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,91210toATL,2019/04/19,"career advice I'm wondering if someone can give some academic advice. I currently go to a Top 30 University ( US news), however my GPA has suffered tremendously due to my condition. I have appealed to my Dean of undergraduate school of education, and he along with a committee have agreed to drop 1 semester from my transcript. Although appreciative I feel as though this is not adequate enough as I requested 3 semesters (while hoping for at least 2). I come from an abusive and very poor background and I hoped that my personal life combined with my condition could gleam well upon me, however that didn't happen. Now I want to appeal their decision and wondering how to do so. However, I am also considering transferring to my local state institution. And here starts the problem. My local state school is much less prestigious than my current institution. However, it may allow me a chance to start my GPA at zero. So my question is this, is it more advantageous for job placement, internships, and grad school, if I stay at my current ""prestigious"" institution and graduate with around a 2.8+, or leave for a much lower caliber school and aim for a potentially a 3.5+ GPA? Oh I am currently a Senior If you have any other questions please ask? Thank you",6.951842105263162,8.196217517543863,7.6757192982456175,67.10436842105264,64.61403508771929,11.869473684210524,36.69122807017544,11.602472056035307,4.888062807017544,1006,49,165,33,15,335,142,228,0.094,0.7909999999999999,0.115,0.6088,10,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,2,1,2,9,7,0,0,10,0,15,1,0,2,0,35,30,21,0,8,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,14,0,0,6,0,1,2,2,2,1,1,1,1,28,5,28,27,7,24,0,1,0,0,11,8,0,12,10,119,35,16,0.0,0.1537556851905875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536185857820086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10377665449842842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824773739537034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552240361275395,0.12131700258603235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117849683934222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361041849090516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13408662472102442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06561537871722907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12448676779034899,0.0737510202962461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475477592228865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25778086850959697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877624498535234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13740720594183925,0.0,0.0,0.09166006405951653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19079108719947946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330975715086965,0.0,0.14244798619463644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417192431380593,0.0,0.0,0.2907431685948681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5253348114199441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109953310383372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18370309709778032,0.13831706357966378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194743576263592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12749791447490227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560967788862978,0.0,0.0,0.10707346131831363,0.07654143708545341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11667840143054695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28145906172821006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,flying_lemur_circus,2019/04/19,"Lithium: hangovers from hell. Does anyone just get the worst fucking hangovers on this medication?? (800mg of Lithium and 50mg of lamictal as well). It feels like I’m dying. I just shiver for hours and then feel nauseous and have a fucked up stomach. Then the headache is terrible too. And it doesn’t end, it’s 11pm (I drank the night before) and I’m still sweating and feeling kinda tingly and terrible. Sometimes the hangover goes into the next day. I even skipped my meds the night of drinking, and skipped them again today. And still... terrible. And while I definitely drank a lot, it was the same as my friends who also are hungover but recovered so much earlier in the day and definitely weren’t nearly as bad. It’s this stupid medication. Who else experiences this actual hell? Also any advice to avoid this in the future?",2.7698717948717926,5.5861890641025695,3.674615384615386,84.15371794871797,81.43589743589743,6.543589743589743,26.615384615384606,7.793537801064563,1.8960538461538456,658,28,119,12,18,210,98,156,0.197,0.742,0.061,-0.9782,1,1,1,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,1,0,11,14,5,1,11,0,6,9,2,0,0,22,16,21,1,0,3,0,3,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,11,12,3,1,3,1,0,0,2,11,1,0,4,3,7,3,15,12,4,21,2,0,0,2,4,6,4,2,16,80,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.1563941740776991,0.0,0.0,0.15660775390437512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563255168164754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089847567599872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120600488905598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13381342785337416,0.0,0.0,0.13637253600382462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20671355226866106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16632833441352654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024777319840145,0.0,0.0,0.15699733386261533,0.0,0.0,0.13387968930038746,0.0,0.14194599788832804,0.0,0.0,0.10585260902885232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15676857179867001,0.0,0.0,0.2431023038190715,0.11449236161051135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12381927467726413,0.2963222670761124,0.08373112641834103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15782738230820365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829670913480609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13625039800048092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17801675213397644,0.3228974716020745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781220031313595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704421772177277,0.30079310021146066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15850481736302016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559734666993521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15191117191072248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14409624058780027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,omgjelly,2019/04/19,Lithium Acne Oh my god has anyone been on lithium and had it cause acne? I’ve been on it for about 6 months and the acne side effect is just evil. Which really sucks bc it’s been working really well for me. Does anyone have any acne (severe cystic acne) tips?,1.026855345911951,3.3706313396226477,3.4399056603773595,86.1333176100629,84.66037735849056,5.0427672955974865,14.4937106918239,6.42735559955562,-0.27825534591194945,203,3,38,2,6,70,39,53,0.13,0.792,0.077,-0.6199,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,3,3,2,0,1,0,7,0,0,2,0,5,8,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,4,0,2,1,5,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,23,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22502654106576045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4627525159144217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399302755621153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28957693014366864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641249720132965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42397204420641216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3738281191669129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975230625275576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409025603650748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,YSIMike,2019/04/19,"Quitting 5mg Zyprexa (Olanzapine) after 5 weeks. Advice would be appreciated! Hi guys, as the title states, I was prescribed 5mg of Olanzapine nightly since I was briefly institutionalized for a psychotic episode. I hate how it makes me feel, the constant mental sluggishness, the dry mouth, the fatigue, none of it is worthwhile for me. But at the same time, I've been looking around online for info on how to safely taper down and frankly I'm scared as fuck by what I've seen of the withdrawal effects. Has anyone else quit Olanzapine after a similar span of time? What was your experience, and how did you cope?",6.056393805309735,7.601220336283191,6.626714601769912,72.710514380531,66.87610619469028,9.189823008849556,33.59402654867257,9.516144504307137,3.2644876106194687,490,22,85,10,8,160,80,113,0.109,0.805,0.086,-0.5792,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,3,4,5,2,1,8,0,9,3,1,5,0,14,16,8,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,6,3,7,1,17,8,2,13,0,1,2,1,4,5,1,0,7,53,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21354004360138065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15279771996905245,0.22390462652398352,0.0,0.1945335278038897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23614782922130514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825495480128035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21375932431579905,0.0,0.0,0.1104927763002467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20202278703942664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21637404840598207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21574813825184588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18350591384418186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586709524340333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22022174329369396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20507085419719875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4648563478431969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187815883030406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807660896818327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25484730129639577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17528752675169426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15523384856765046,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,familyofthings,2019/04/19,"Psychosis (Possible Self Harm) Hi; this is my first post to this subreddit, and to reddit in general! I am a long-time lurker. I am sorry if it's long-- I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in late August after a manic, then psychotic, break that ended with 5 days in the psych ward. I did some severely out-of-character and even violent things while in the ward. I have trouble looking back and thinking what I could have done differently--my husband and sponsor took me to the emergency room, and I said (out of my mind) ""I think that's part of it"" to the question ""does this have to do with harm to yourself or others."" Then, everything escalated: the security guards grabbed me and moved me to a holding room. I nearly passed out from the anxiety spike. My brain was making me talk to everyone and learn their names, I think, as a coping mechanism. Eventually, after a long time in a room with scary doctor people (to my scared mind) coming in and out, I was driven, handcuffed, by police to the psych place. I am told by my therapist and friends that I am very smart and that that made things a little worse for me. My brain had SO MANY false narratives going, and not only was I manic but I was in such fight or flight, I ended up in seclusion rooms twice. This, as you can imagine, made everything tons worse. I felt so isolated. I feel traumatized, still. I went back to work right after. My sponsor stopped talking to me completely, and I don't have a large support group, even though I have been feeling a little more connected to people day-to-day. I want to go back and change everything; I want to believe that the right thing happened; but, being completely ignorant to what I could do, I said things that led to the worst situation for me. The ward experience seemed to make everything a lot worse--the delusions, the mania, the disconnectedness, the alienation, overmedicating, etc. I am now pretty stable and on a mood stabilizer, hydroxyzine, and a sleep med. How do you all cope with decisions that you or your loved ones made for you that you wish went differently? How do you deal with the trauma of hospitalization? I know everyone has different, even positive, experiences. Mine was not that. It's hard not to let it eat at me and get angry. Thanks for listening.",5.1747394540942935,6.635949293706298,5.8154883825851575,78.0166817053914,68.88344988344988,9.544807880291751,29.45642529513497,9.857291076455118,2.8580863373185954,1793,67,334,43,31,582,219,429,0.13699999999999998,0.78,0.083,-0.968,3,0,0,0,1,0,79.0,0,7,1,3,14,16,2,1,26,0,32,8,3,8,1,71,65,32,0,6,9,1,5,0,1,0,3,3,4,1,25,26,1,5,12,0,0,10,4,9,0,3,21,9,51,6,55,40,8,57,0,0,1,1,24,24,0,8,21,242,76,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060133429978486176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18132965207334564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885621252778397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17550074603565968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0831548014557753,0.06771217083013305,0.16483394204243226,0.0,0.0,0.12552110462555846,0.0,0.0,0.15208324069919174,0.08103940872207259,0.0,0.07978350850519272,0.0,0.16425322972496004,0.0900893687017568,0.08045664558706654,0.06878870338453304,0.0804413031718632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043363575396795,0.0,0.0,0.139243296669655,0.0,0.08766654893365951,0.15575570775011052,0.0,0.0,0.15022294090224111,0.2825842761072374,0.15378364361222524,0.0,0.0,0.0794911837725461,0.0,0.07547415626443185,0.0,0.0,0.06686228474594065,0.0,0.0,0.06073085628969849,0.0,0.041068428310059975,0.0,0.08934728446888178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951108993005609,0.0,0.07041560076775336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04319984148272892,0.0,0.08867107313330692,0.0,0.0,0.08038003441485088,0.0,0.0,0.15756786953840524,0.0,0.20869170057663286,0.06600930309280456,0.0,0.0,0.06682807149330543,0.07094504902820611,0.2231368980209255,0.1049403269843892,0.07969421936707355,0.0,0.0,0.08731362559816827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15873944943478668,0.0,0.0,0.08354581461720101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05326550877507314,0.059783459933723235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512271594489779,0.0,0.10899110589025827,0.0,0.08212661486248002,0.0,0.0,0.08861653547841206,0.07528288831682381,0.07997063468716845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08805679056196042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425831210124964,0.1495447502939527,0.0,0.07869839108119005,0.0,0.0,0.07156001577399627,0.08200327651525491,0.08880248710908188,0.0,0.0,0.08835651847084315,0.0786628404341413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799306210731125,0.0,0.0,0.06277491069388713,0.06571819599657593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892012390597762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636116636790767,0.0,0.0723699101022645,0.0,0.09126770823455682,0.20888952583711687,0.15110279102316687,0.07723006670294214,0.0,0.045835832756706635,0.0,0.0,0.07511147045112056,0.08733423836111591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064858241750739,0.09272779583876636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457372326569554,0.0,0.0,0.09039310355137363,0.0,0.0,0.05722615666001463,0.0,0.16021260588579764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,faeriefarts89,2019/04/19,"When did you realize your bipolar disorder hit a new level? I was diagnosed at 15 and began my adventures with finding the right medications. I’m 32 and I’m still on my adventure, as frustrating as that can be sometimes. It was about ten years ago that I hear bipolar disorder is a progressive mental illness. I scoffed at it- I had been at the “same level” of mental illness from the start. Then all of a sudden, three years ago, all hell broke loose. I became insanely manic. I was hallucinating and ocd tendencies came out of nowhere. I was convinced that the planes that crashed into the 9/11 towers were going to crash into my home and the only way to stop them was to lock and unlock and lock my door again. After what felt like forever, that manic phase passed and I had the realization that I had hit a new level of my mental illness. My manic phases have become a monster of their own- I was never nearly this bad before. The lows are deeper, the suicidal thoughts have gotten more frequent (though I would never ever follow through- I love my kids too much). Everything thing feels so much BIGGER, if that makes sense. What was now something in the back of my head as a teenager, “Yeah I have bipolar disorder but I never even think about it, I’m too busy living my life. “ Has now become my biggest priority to keep in check and it’s almost all I think about. Managing my mental health is first and foremost and uncontrollable no matter how much medication I take. Has anyone had the same experience? If so, when did you notice your bipolar disorder becoming “stronger” for lack of better words.",4.0163343144468975,6.33891044701987,4.909308314937455,79.78733505028211,73.66887417218544,7.652882021093942,26.416973264655386,8.515128840125781,2.0938715722344856,1273,46,223,24,27,413,172,302,0.142,0.8009999999999999,0.057,-0.9657,1,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,4,2,3,18,12,2,1,17,1,26,14,1,2,7,43,47,23,1,4,3,0,2,1,0,1,12,1,2,1,15,15,0,2,7,0,1,4,4,6,0,3,20,3,33,6,32,23,11,47,1,2,0,1,9,17,1,3,26,170,48,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17353560478561642,0.0,0.09801616973556593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844240774226973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07526635701678333,0.0817286203352974,0.0,0.32431385246096245,0.08329163521190835,0.0,0.0,0.0865699869598296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195262895224928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934967557497626,0.0,0.0,0.4487318104187621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06465111785567043,0.0885412149869643,0.0,0.0,0.08797136363091976,0.09574882947531664,0.0,0.0,0.049492830453547104,0.0,0.09398349457993986,0.0,0.08946373083856014,0.08325964127384225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05562943954082178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045669371311658,0.10404556598806146,0.1103218001410182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818511513256024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700333783129696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913799933105824,0.047820925874446335,0.0,0.08643290945969348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834366571061886,0.0,0.06533798548074901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19721462402644813,0.394574116715177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21586686952244089,0.0,0.22648133097979964,0.1890729571124455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144099501659398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07444480019048579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359196029612385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753554879449945,0.09680926830282437,0.0,0.06928243360168702,0.0,0.07816987656390018,0.08183497534716183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706864409007748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07359619803004921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502943719746754,0.1254395680501483,0.09617002580265938,0.07770855240616563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769535329950986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06953361844156299,0.0,0.0,0.12606750859768653 bipolarreddit,TheProdius22,2019/04/19,Anyone Here Had A Manic Episode Without Re Occurrence? I had an episode of full blown mania around the end of last year - just wondering if anyone here's had a manic episode without re occurrence?,8.241666666666667,8.361470944444449,7.491111111111113,73.415,61.77777777777778,10.533333333333337,40.22222222222222,10.125756701596842,4.267655555555555,158,8,26,3,2,49,24,36,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,4,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,5,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,3,18,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4536039304100872,0.0,0.0,0.28875160187683635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28728910608904645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643989200744702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6253482007314458,0.3517575482986203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20887896584620386 bipolarreddit,Hypotypo87,2019/04/19,"Lamictal and Long term Eye Damage Is anyone else terrified of the possible long term eye damage from taking Lamictal? Everywhere I search it says that permanent damage is unknown. Lamictal has made me have bad photosensitivity and an eye that sometimes turns inward. Has anyone been advised to stop taking Lamictal due to being on it for an extended period of time, especially due to the risks of permanent eye problems? It makes me upset that this maybe a possibility and that I will have to go through the hardships of finding something else that works in the near future.",8.811221122112215,9.68678598019802,8.967079207920793,60.75510726072608,60.4851485148515,12.277887788778875,37.62541254125411,11.855464076750405,5.0844838283828375,468,21,69,14,6,154,63,101,0.233,0.767,0.0,-0.9778,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,0,7,0,2,7,0,9,4,4,2,0,8,15,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,9,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,2,5,4,0,14,11,2,14,0,3,4,0,2,3,0,0,10,46,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27242448473414443,0.1996008269061265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16265410596539565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.325469297355428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17804831521902192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107122170513448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34479273378254616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18432927822192136,0.1300339045288077,0.0,0.19570788786100748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4392269185815555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18640215391044526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491681964232512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14997046898619507,0.19266720666957549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628657708546202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929383548607363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1135924095523472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118919888890162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14182041938531215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,zsmith0919,2019/04/19,"Anxiety and bipolar I was laying next to my girlfriend and I had just put the baby to sleep, and I started shaking uncontrollably for about 5 minutes straight. My vision went blurry I couldn’t speak or move. She was asleep. I’m still kinda shaky but this was about 20 minutes ago and I’m freaking out 😩😩😩 helpppp",0.8352380952380969,3.398514746031747,2.1241269841269848,92.30142857142859,92.015873015873,4.06984126984127,24.46031746031746,5.82211442006289,0.6309555555555555,251,11,49,2,9,80,46,63,0.182,0.768,0.05,-0.6911,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,3,1,0,5,3,2,0,0,11,9,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,4,0,0,5,1,7,0,6,3,0,10,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,3,4,28,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32066463459839795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767335193628613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3844771089114124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38471933377628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3636530936377648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3620057043845203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560445884568601,0.0,0.2888895905359769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3353407356755828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,LilyChickadee,2019/04/20,"A mother’s letter about forgiveness and psychsosis I just wanted to share a letter my mother (schizoaffective/BP I) wrote to me (bp II). I have been here under many different usernames but the gist of it is that my mother, who I love with all of my heart, has been psychotic many times while I have grown up and the rest of my family has frequently abandoned her. She seems sometimes evil and terrifying and I can’t blame those who are less educated for being fearful. But I feel that this letter she wrote me encompasses how human we still are in psychosis. Just because our reality is different doesn’t mean we are any less human or have any less capacity for love or caring. You are never less than simply because the reality around you changes. I will say I am immensely traumatized by my mothers psychosis and wouldn’t wish it on anyone or anyone’s loved ones, but I would give up anything to be there for my mother and to have lived this life being able to love and care for her. Her letter: I've wanted to write about this for a long time, but the memory is so special to me, I wanted the writing to do it justice. But it just hit me that it is a good birthday sending. Do you remember those flesh colored-flats you had? They triggered my (manic) thought, ""walk a mile in Lilychickadees shoes."" I bought some just like them at Walmart and would wear them when I wanted to keep you with me in spirit. Because every time I go manic, 'They' always say, ""Lilychickadee is the strong one."" Last spring, I had maybe three months when I was manic, but not in the hospital. You dad wouldn't let me drive (smart man), so I took the bus everywhere. One day I had a caseworker appointment in Edinburg. I took the bus to the depot in downtown M, and from there another bus to E. I told the driver to tell me when we got to FG. He did, and I got off. I didn't realize I got off on J. Do you know how far J is from the Expressway where My hospital is located on FG? Miles. hahahaha. So I started walking down FG. In my mania it seemed as though the expressway moved further away from me as I walked! I'm very serious about that. Suddenly that purple purse I was carrying like a baby transformed into you (I used to carry you everywhere when you were a baby and the way that feels apparently doesn't leave a mother's memory.) I was carrying you, keeping in mind how I need to walk in your shoes. I was so so so distraught by the thought of you traumatized when taking care of me in my mania/psychosis. I walked and walked and walked and walked. And walked while Expressway moved further away. You never left my mind as I carried you and walked. It turned into a way for me to prove my love for you after all you've suffered for me. I thought I would walk and carry you like this forever if it meant you could experience some ease after struggling so hard. I barely made it before TT closed, and my caseworker (who I had never seen before) took so long it was the night before we left for her to drive me home. She took Expressway and do you know, every single light: car lights, traffic lights, expressway signs and billboards, businesses--everything that had a light, that light looked incandescent like you see psychedelic colors portrayed. I rode with my mouth open! All I could think is that heaven had come to earth--as in the Lord's Prayer: ""Thy Kingdom come."" I felt <God> giving his approval for how unquestionably and unfalteringly I proved my love for you. Which made me think He set the ordeal up in the first place! Lights--I emphasize that it was Light--have never shone like that for me again. You are so special. My love for you is unparalleled. Happy Birthday.",4.295862806468442,5.857529404225353,4.9941158059467945,82.67554512258738,71.1549295774648,8.30151278038602,26.38758476786645,8.841846274778883,1.9330605112154409,2887,94,560,54,54,930,298,710,0.064,0.7759999999999999,0.16,0.9976,3,0,0,0,1,0,100.0,5,23,4,3,33,31,1,3,30,0,57,14,6,8,10,110,116,55,0,14,15,7,4,5,0,6,1,2,1,3,32,35,0,3,19,0,1,26,11,7,0,5,36,16,110,24,81,67,11,98,3,2,5,7,79,40,0,8,34,393,142,0,0.06658512376823805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05540415699822651,0.0,0.0,0.0905603349271747,0.06982030793488908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311573343998587,0.0,0.054793883441030734,0.05927487701974839,0.0,0.0,0.12511783125700193,0.0,0.0,0.12176902028502938,0.0,0.1699771083020216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20366391404277548,0.0,0.07043823207445725,0.11471437655310406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632560649621098,0.0,0.0,0.04294189638066174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13913456483326533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122016771351609,0.0,0.05984241580932685,0.06513302772885897,0.06277052876443505,0.07492677600558974,0.06733487847267361,0.0,0.06393216075929521,0.0,0.0,0.05663727226223704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12774903604142565,0.03784186029226908,0.05584844270699827,0.15976261843282752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088110239663482,0.05964719224516723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890369226023343,0.0,0.0,0.06679030815868996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836783481368834,0.0,0.0,0.07318688534320074,0.05427576286919892,0.0,0.07050403193766787,0.14468986359926678,0.06808780033318086,0.04703104207355905,0.16265064064323492,0.0,0.05879588418337218,0.11785147844648053,0.055914734073377215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4206697170034337,0.12600890814089274,0.0,0.13501372910513418,0.06689370647411626,0.07253071988152568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344639874416116,0.0,0.05314761053267214,0.14153889795493635,0.0,0.049372025577108763,0.20541820917095707,0.0,0.0,0.06248562805650543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535940930571702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956728241663268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754279652352746,0.0,0.0,0.1059023259033598,0.0,0.0,0.05305972283825012,0.1212331918324962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06585438998399361,0.0,0.04712929331491012,0.0,0.05317496585282567,0.0,0.0,0.06960922854289285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05006372645281821,0.0,0.058198333031570036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533011744245532,0.06541954603115506,0.15858345192444565,0.11647896339792214,0.0,0.0,0.06362493920334307,0.2959140899637853,0.0,0.07242549426022703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575081682516567,0.0,0.054939700467080035,0.15709452463830714,0.10570434392965684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765696062574134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14190048451327794,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,pineapplesforbfast,2019/04/20,"Only thing keeping me from ending it all is being loss drunk Unfortunately I’m not drunk enough yet but I just made it to the convenience store to stock up. I’m so sick and tired of this, dude",0.5857500000000009,2.9912160750000005,2.2800000000000007,92.965,88.25,5.2,15.5,6.742157984588678,-0.37665000000000015,153,3,34,2,5,50,34,40,0.35200000000000004,0.648,0.0,-0.9419,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,1,1,7,6,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,1,2,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,5,4,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,22,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3653104015110692,0.4261735817239075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36660664162334494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3902724308581767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31368863384385515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740150455359192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4740533563168428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0 bipolarreddit,FrannyCaulfield,2019/04/20,"Lamictal withdrawal severity change over time? Hi, so three times in the past week and a half I’ve missed my Lamictal dose. Last Wednesday and Thursday night I threw up all my meds because of Latuda nausea. Last night I forgot to pick up my Lamictal refill from the pharmacy so went without it. Normally I can’t go more than four hours past taking my nightly Lamictal dose of 400 mg without horrible and intense withdrawal. It puts me in a severe mixed episode with suicidal ideation and planning. Every time I throw up my meds or miss a dose I prepare for some of the worse hours of my life until I can take my dose again. I’ve been on it since 2006, and have been at this high dose for probably at least 8 years. The weird thing is... none of the withdrawal symptoms happened these last three times. Maybe I’m just numbed our from my other meds (Latuda 120 mg, Seroquel XR 300 mg, Lithium 1,200 mg). Or could this be a sign that it’s not even working in my system anymore, so I wouldn’t miss it? Anyone know if those other drugs lower Lamictal doses? This is such a jarring change that I wonder if it has larger implications. Thanks!",4.6703636363636365,6.0478765363636375,5.005227272727275,83.66784090909091,70.0,8.227272727272727,28.75,8.660442795831766,2.132272727272728,898,33,172,15,16,284,135,220,0.108,0.851,0.042,-0.9247,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,0,2,7,6,0,0,10,0,11,10,0,1,1,24,25,13,1,5,8,0,0,0,0,1,10,0,0,0,16,6,0,1,2,0,0,5,6,5,0,4,5,0,19,1,25,17,5,37,0,3,0,0,2,11,0,6,20,107,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11483445874395315,0.08096439452593689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07058567251149621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449849708829925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924504166432526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342818520415857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647946332222,0.0,0.09755967674246926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580720986906771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239440203351688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223405084551864,0.0,0.0,0.22806341019317106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363620453970309,0.2831575792271621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178724915191192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163285353009273,0.0,0.38585611985794976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3259885857267188,0.11345148510919575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22107295705396493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484326145726896,0.0,0.0,0.11640284970441166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616237948728189,0.0,0.0957842630431598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665755380946914,0.0,0.0,0.12035212857417148,0.1741222090067949,0.0,0.0,0.10660563195883076,0.0,0.0,0.07692699866553224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700767714362597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928812843167708,0.0,0.0,0.10734025899280296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22323853496741933,0.12557138511643046,0.08429788826178214,0.0,0.11800184685936288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456619250918935 bipolarreddit,coconutfi,2019/04/20,"Short episodes triggered by something trivial? I know that’s a symptom of BPD and there’s a chance of comorbidity of BP and BPD, but I really don’t think I reflect the symptoms of BPD. No doctors have suggested it and I’ve read through the detailed description and nothing matches. The one thing that is similar is I’ve had mood swings that may last the span of a few days (elevated or mixed for a day/half a day and then sometimes depressed the three to four days following). This happens maybe 5-10 times a year for me. Most of my high and low episodes will last one to three months, but I do have these so called mild “blips”. Most are relatively mild and controllable, but some are worse than others. I write this because something trivial happened the other day and then I started to feel the hypomania coursing through my veins. Racing thoughts, impatience, the need to get rid of the intense energy. I felt the need to scream and I don’t know how to describe it, but you know when you’re just looking around you having those racing thoughts and you just feel a little crazy and a little scared? Does anyone else experience this?",4.6787745098039215,6.533275842592598,4.552331154684096,85.05519607843138,70.66666666666667,7.4897603485838795,30.76143790849673,8.124751697461798,2.136784640522876,906,39,173,13,17,278,126,216,0.141,0.833,0.026,-0.9764,0,0,2,0,0,0,21.0,0,3,0,1,7,5,0,1,18,0,13,4,1,3,0,39,30,21,0,2,7,0,3,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,13,12,0,1,10,1,0,1,3,4,0,5,4,5,14,0,20,24,4,21,0,2,1,0,6,7,0,5,13,112,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194888550820595,0.1200851335182742,0.0,0.10433274659292817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144396285593525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4428274619153548,0.0,0.1196741876074046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314496381526084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3779211546749136,0.0,0.10094409030368284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995904977462545,0.1025624102648847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790546621183817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464397766023493,0.0,0.0,0.1185195679143206,0.0,0.11253027020900612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06123210332552149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20727894472768027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382811455717188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19322997734505293,0.19106709952964926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349301511008769,0.0,0.0,0.09841838691533727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774303848661645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935478310630236,0.0,0.0,0.17380446125935878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245645176780134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15883535217746866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117231602216729,0.0,0.07508124821470798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11733753183477233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18045239662734747,0.11591368430748095,0.0,0.08295468272148554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436311137245433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077862396712077,0.07509695479336385,0.0,0.1860872366770452,0.06834019617649899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943669676844135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547288420419015 bipolarreddit,gangstergaga,2019/04/20,Lithium Have any of you gone through lithium withdrawal just from lowering the dose of the pill I started to get some withdrawal symptoms but not as extreme as when I last went off lithium,16.794000000000004,9.225189542857144,13.905714285714286,57.70428571428572,53.57142857142857,17.428571428571427,63.57142857142857,13.023866798666859,7.912142857142857,154,10,26,3,1,47,28,35,0.045,0.893,0.062,-0.1027,1,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,5,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,8,3,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,19,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470057372369528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665985787027446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4159437158369613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3611765611368017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5303729997762315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4730317264283785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0