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bipolarreddit,TanagerOffTrack,2018/01/01,"What birth control are you on? I tried an IUD but it came out after a traumatic assault. I was taking microgestion but even at the lowest dose of hormones I had a bad reaction. Yet some how depo provera doesn't affect my mood, but I absolutely hate not having my period. 

Huff. 

I hate condoms, I don't even trust them. I'm on the fence about getting fixed, not even sure Medicaid would cover it anyway. 

What's a girl to do? 

If it matters any I was not on any birth control after getting on lamictal, which is my only script and I've been doing -amazingly- well on it. ",1.0269548872180465,3.5177203421052674,3.31904761904762,85.77000000000002,86.80701754385963,6.064160401002509,22.177944862155385,7.447530270364453,1.1692050125313287,445,16,87,8,14,152,78,114,0.278,0.6920000000000001,0.03,-0.989,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,1,2,8,9,3,0,6,0,12,2,0,4,1,19,19,6,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,3,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,4,1,0,5,0,12,4,12,13,1,14,0,0,0,1,3,7,0,2,6,65,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29257259481024844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17961292464841871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460354650023172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4825419058314191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4262463863530353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22477852546433352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4247651471561519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636054570874172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20274434070209893,0.0,0.16174050555301386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14604968411213767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934151722888128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15281227700209293,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DuplicitousSnake,2018/01/01,"Hypersexuality I was diagnosed with bipolar unspecified at 13, and I'm a young adult now. I didn't actually find out about my diagnosis until last year because my parents worked really hard to conceal it from me. The most recent discovery has been learning that, believe it or not, I wasn't just a normal horny teenage boy. I have nearly crippling hypersexuality as a cute little side effect of my bipolar. I don't really want to turn this into a nsfw thread unless it can't be helped, but how do you ever cope with this? I'm a severe pornography addict to the point where I can't function if I don't get my daily fix (I have painful shaking fits and the like). It's been like this since I was 11. I'm not asking for medical advice or anything like that, I'm just curious if there is any hope for me.",6.120407177363702,5.7724861614906855,7.657474120082817,72.02436162870947,66.26708074534162,10.136922015182883,32.17460317460318,9.725611199111238,2.9129166321601105,636,23,123,12,9,222,104,161,0.077,0.8240000000000001,0.099,0.6634,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,2,8,7,0,1,8,0,16,6,0,2,1,25,25,11,0,5,10,1,1,3,0,0,6,0,0,2,9,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,8,2,0,0,6,1,16,5,17,18,1,17,0,0,0,0,6,9,0,6,10,83,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.18425933611543024,0.2058397200839409,0.0,0.18451097002253106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284028580074863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538129890564711,0.0,0.17651953825351432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11510182858711696,0.0,0.0,0.21273346415705124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19164650908801253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17079688146396824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17257642368706566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864972181365073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16914402895175745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12656086639603012,0.0,0.0,0.18753908730820767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15391204280651324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767411202549297,0.1892454512670708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902144824179648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850017564097825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20091588866939614,0.0,0.2096602776563057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17849424038275558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24192356125436176,0.0,0.18643520369211045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21331083292333666,0.0,0.15619237493758356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205379992534179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136987267718916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13746190607425746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12159273692814672
bipolarreddit,dearangelou,2018/01/01,Meditation I have been using the free meditation app Oak. I am finding it helpful for clarity. I thought I would just mention it. Hope all are having a good new year.,1.8515625,4.5714260312500015,4.123750000000001,79.74625000000002,85.5625,6.95,29.875,8.07648339933343,2.66135,131,7,24,3,4,45,27,32,0.0,0.601,0.399,0.9274,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,1,1,7,9,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,4,1,6,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3669768850169049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33677122667066545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691266368995731,0.0,0.0,0.3987943927038138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38778510683434414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187575818031527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34677952377831633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852243077777001,0.0,0.0,0.25856210764619986
bipolarreddit,dootdoopdooq,2018/01/01,"Family question diagnosis - vent Start with the stuff that isn’t as bad.

Mom and sister have asked what makes me bipolar.  I hide basically everything because nothing good has really came out from opening up.  Planning on talking to my sister about it as I trust her more.  I beat around the bush (“uhhh...  Bipolar symptoms...”).  I think they just want to know what’s wrong, but I’m anything but comfortable talking about it, especially with more than one person.

And then there’s my dad!

I accidentally told him because I said something about my antidepressants while I was on a high.  He asked who told me and I told him a psychiatrist.  Didn’t go too much farther.  Whatever, cool.  I asked him a bunch if he was upset because he didn’t look very happy, he said he wasn’t.

Two days ago he said something like “I’ve never seen you have a mood swing.”  Took me off guard, really irritated me.  You don’t need to see me have a mood swing for me to have them.  You don’t need to see me hitting my legs and crying because I feel I’m awful and no one loves me for me to have an actual problem.  He’s seen my self harm before, do you think that magically goes away?  Oh I act fine, but that doesn’t mean I am.  And he has definitely seen me in my highs.  When it’s night and all I do is talk and talk more than normal?  Bipolar isn’t necessarily severe mood swings and acting off of them anyways.

Then last night he decided to turn it up a notch.  I said something that must have riled him up.  His response was that I was “making [him] tripolar.”

What the fuck???

I told him that’s not how it works and it’s not in the DSM and hid in my room.

Seriously.  What the fuck?  Do you not even care how your daughter feels?  Do you not even care bipolar is characterized in part with depression that was *obvious* when I was 12-15 and you did *nothing*?  Even when I had cuts all over my damn arm?  Do you not care that I was in enough pain to go to a psychiatrist?  That I have low self esteem that you say upsets you, but if I do anything about it suddenly my issues don’t exist?  Do you even think bipolar exists?

Thanks Dad.

You really made me feel loved.

^I ^want ^to ^break ^things ^:)",0.7666701366297985,3.181046990804603,2.4762307525482536,91.9277878985036,87.13793103448276,5.581869442637172,19.70180004337454,7.052630249996997,0.3789340707004989,1671,50,362,25,53,548,203,435,0.183,0.735,0.083,-0.9932,0,0,3,0,0,0,70.0,0,13,3,3,18,30,4,2,13,2,38,13,2,5,5,58,87,28,0,9,12,6,3,1,0,1,7,5,1,3,24,19,0,1,10,0,0,6,16,14,0,3,26,15,66,13,41,59,9,43,0,2,6,4,62,22,3,3,15,235,90,1,0.0,0.0,0.07719487086680958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012162962922461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301930155292046,0.07042004051993349,0.22185692049404585,0.0,0.07432156075118314,0.0,0.06604920128453376,0.19288620010548435,0.0,0.06731235590249335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047481400840814,0.24195783779631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689290502822672,0.05101604988773744,0.0,0.06813284574178931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173640134503914,0.0,0.2089918894507545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07109429083588834,0.0,0.07457296246395369,0.0,0.119993286587605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462622202955995,0.0,0.0,0.08991415821051542,0.06634935062103478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420852735309088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671571223682146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256485599541201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04347392766145127,0.06448096753074485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03864660807604444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642810642688775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14279033549803272,0.07485087159436771,0.105606132511211,0.0,0.0,0.08616831429773021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926465821814165,0.0,0.0,0.058151127708816974,0.11731040928293605,0.061010496101626385,0.0,0.0,0.14846898655518406,0.07750590552024783,0.1518063723773048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10720691538943344,0.0,0.08417308130974815,0.0,0.0,0.0856627864436549,0.0,0.0,0.0690712575252125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07569260739179208,0.0,0.0,0.08861547662207782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15202967565483308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009871070489127,0.06290730960761981,0.0,0.0,0.12607256295111838,0.0,0.16504711077013787,0.08936590432352931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18269621232148575,0.0,0.0,0.055990782466002816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055606690691524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222017276770206,0.0,0.25432575756516457,0.0,0.0728290690119642,0.0,0.0,0.05255371214214013,0.15206147941563192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023520939763389,0.08788834010877153,0.0,0.08604330362055719,0.0772738922913975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526974204865603,0.093316117609182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575892343488108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648867743926285,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lemonyellow3,2018/01/01,"Unable to stop talking to myself- any ideas/experiences? Hey all- I know this has come up on here before, but I find that particularly in times of anxiety, I cannot stop myself from saying things out loud. They aren't even my thoughts, necessarily- they're just parts of conversations, random sentences, etc. I sound insane. I'm at home for the holidays and it's starting to confuse my family, who don't know about my diagnosis. What have your experiences with this been? /has anything in particular helped you? ",3.6630791788856314,6.747997419354843,4.836304985337243,75.44718475073313,80.18279569892474,7.682893450635388,25.658846529814266,8.575989854853784,2.3893526881720435,412,16,70,10,11,135,77,93,0.139,0.81,0.051,-0.8014,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,1,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,7,0,0,0,1,15,13,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,7,4,0,2,4,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,3,12,0,15,11,3,11,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,2,4,50,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511346584832485,0.0,0.17001730871175805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828892277726355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18911467317234545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19144494261659015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478626401168353,0.14679115126501752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43479776923073976,0.20951341302469245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203128491537816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489665698795649,0.0,0.22293050090134986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24428078652077026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406703738729808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17673865573550507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573066101275738,0.0,0.0,0.371614618382058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17863262946448025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476501299427288,0.0,0.0,0.17643821559751294,0.12959322178438099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MissHeadspace,2018/01/01,On my way into the hospital Please send good vibes my way. <3,-0.06461538461538296,2.262118307692308,1.468076923076925,96.11442307692309,96.69230769230772,5.676923076923077,14.192307692307693,7.1686216300943375,-0.06896923076923045,50,1,11,1,2,16,11,13,0.0,0.679,0.321,0.6369,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,5,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3985650587173631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5216136092285417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7543640610721053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,smlybright,2018/01/01,"Husband has just about blocked me out and refuses to deal with my mental health issues In some ways I can't blame him, but I need someone. Right now I have a good friend to talk to, but she really just doesn't get it. She never saw the bad years. My husband lived them.

I have been married almost 12 years. I know that I've been working hard to act better and my actions have been consistently much more thought out and I've been MUCH less volatile. I can let things go that I would have never been able to before. The other night my really stressed out husband (he went back to college and has just been grumpy the whole time) flew off the handle at me. Over something I said about Mexican Coca-Cola. Anyway, I just let him vent as he said things like, ""You just make me want to hate you."" And he referred to the last time I was in the hospital as the ""Smlybright show."" - making everything about me. He immediately referred to how selfish I am (which I really haven't been in a long time). 

This isn't even really him! I least I hope he hasn't turned into this guy!


I WAS selfish a long time ago. I was mean a long time ago, I was way too hypersexual a long time ago. And he has dealt with all of it. But he can't ever forgive me for anything. He has stopped being there when I really need him because he has just started blocking me out. He doesn't want to deal with me. I cry in private. I contemplate leaving or dying in private. I can't talk to him about these things anymore because ""we've had this conversation 100 times and you never remember what I tell you anyway and I have my own problems to deal with and I know how you feel because I'm depressed and have problems with that and I still am moving forward because somebody has take care of this family (we don't have kids. He means the pets. Which I definitely help with)."" 


We haven't had sex in about a year. For years prior, I felt like he just did it to get his obligatory sex in for the quarter. When we got married, we had sex all the time, and then I wanted it all the time and he didn't anymore. Then he says he felt like I was using him. Maybe I was. I would actually throw fits about it. Crying, screaming fits. Embarrassing but I'm being honest in this post.


Medicine has made me gain a lot of weight. He says it's not me. It's that he needs to feel like I am a safe place, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I still wonder if it's just my body. But I take my medicine because it works.


He says I get worse every year, but when I really look at myself, I know I'm doing better in a lot of really important ways. My relationships with other people (not so much my husband right now) have improved tremendously. I am not working anymore (well, some part time, but not a lot) but I'm slowly becoming more productive and balancing my functionality with my anxiety and the pressure it makes me feel. I bring in the money because I was medically retired from the military.


I think sometimes it's how you look at your illness. You can only really judge your own level of the illness affecting your life because you are the only one inside your brain. It's easy to forget the good times when we are feeling low. Last time I had some pretty bad depression I honestly couldn't think of any reason to keep going. I started to end things. But at the critical moment, I just had this strong feeling that I was checking out FOREVER. No more good days OR bad days, and that I could always off myself if I wanted to, so I'd live another day and reevaluate later. And things got better. And then worse, and then better. 


Any advice on any of this would be great. Sometimes I feel like I don't even like him anymore. A lot of times I feel like I love the old him, but not this guy who, at one time was always there, and now refuses to deal with me.",2.4643633850407016,4.370504655352484,3.8074128398095546,87.82899976962065,76.85900783289817,6.80353248348948,23.66679465519889,7.724431198458867,1.0945684841038243,2970,95,617,44,68,974,287,766,0.112,0.728,0.16,0.9921,0,0,1,0,0,0,96.0,5,12,1,9,39,40,1,3,30,0,68,12,2,10,7,140,127,51,1,17,28,4,11,7,1,3,5,6,1,3,38,42,1,7,23,1,2,10,22,15,1,3,34,20,105,25,73,83,22,104,0,3,3,4,75,33,0,14,66,421,143,4,0.04746321693134026,0.0,0.04631725307363408,0.0,0.0,0.04638050626667605,0.12621983412898732,0.0,0.04752755570925628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898639737181776,0.0,0.0,0.09682984528911384,0.049769321346630715,0.03630923103993767,0.0,0.1882830297961861,0.0,0.0,0.03905818340631784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036496284090663834,0.11888941079332035,0.2025319555258492,0.05241939410509626,0.04038770177746091,0.0,0.0,0.16790943327343374,0.0,0.05272093419438634,0.0,0.052984647123654825,0.0,0.0,0.04839191291908937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03789551660256322,0.0,0.10427223019621756,0.09182954516023796,0.1957299702134004,0.08175999838886062,0.0,0.049259325699178194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05338973067341017,0.04203832237201418,0.0,0.0,0.06269801429378062,0.04293319703484826,0.039989807336414766,0.0,0.0426568789319937,0.0,0.044744096804735164,0.0,0.16799180013410958,0.10172319497804597,0.091144262960887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03666996366355329,0.0,0.07439271562376742,0.0,0.053948879944688166,0.11942968345480018,0.0759213408547506,0.05232836422667792,0.0,0.09399209383672552,0.0,0.0,0.042517719644581856,0.04686010037954647,0.0,0.050451180117930566,0.0,0.0,0.031813593827403494,0.0,0.0,0.04714168384179478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04953926714542742,0.0,0.042187488011661965,0.0,0.0,0.0782536282653226,0.07737771326043867,0.0,0.05025669358277776,0.0,0.097068710087255,0.03352467377268935,0.1623169123307294,0.0,0.083821780233636,0.16801381361560824,0.0797142966113655,0.0,0.0,0.16140611893730425,0.04283740636824538,0.04491084347300887,0.0950461975787677,0.0,0.04768318089748587,0.10340271511413077,0.0,0.047814197674651296,0.09566351839805898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05044588819299077,0.10467277689680812,0.10558012185105242,0.10981967673587943,0.0,0.0,0.04454101384357069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04980466199697416,0.0,0.0643246083007702,0.07219583050150367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05139803867991645,0.0,0.03290501844384667,0.0,0.04958895966248082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045456641775254235,0.04828715495367043,0.0,0.09083177711166382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432492170507661,0.048800091993034894,0.0,0.05095773237118225,0.0537665723820305,0.08106665584950645,0.09029677653803456,0.11323396541351065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04021542968196401,0.036539503236723135,0.09388467035281987,0.0,0.06718941847167903,0.0,0.07580837270421015,0.03968137461676941,0.05436895463337955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713728645242786,0.07629827178941613,0.0414849436239606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15766226161879596,0.06082502585780161,0.0,0.03768049255070571,0.3874665687444197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051626350615457575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040992980272185266,0.0,0.0,0.11198014030260704,0.1130222771075972,0.0,0.05779741155728434,0.04267513212447791,0.043998877608974835,0.0,0.05299098669464685,0.0,0.0,0.051471834116756814,0.1036613616306033,0.0,0.09673814589819857,0.10114952256540982,0.0,0.0,0.15282377780544826
bipolarreddit,Sociofunetic,2018/01/01,"Ketamine Therapy So the other day I'm on the net and I see an ad for a ketamine clinic that promotes it for bipolar, but provided no information. I requested the science to support their claim, and sent it to a scientist to back up what I had read. Thid scientist was also part of the DC ketamine trials and helped analyze the information. We were of the same mind. Good in theory, but no real science to support their claims. With MDD and PTST sure, but bipolar is a different kind of beast. Anyways I get a call from the doc that runs the cliinic. We talk for about 15 minutes and I get all my questions answered. They claim an 80% success rate. That seem super high for me. Also insurance doesn't cover it so it would all be out of pocket. I am a prime candidate, but I'm not going to pay money to be a lab rat, especially if there's a 20% failure rate. I would mean regular maintenence doses and stopping meds, which scare me. 

Anyone done it? Any thoughts? I'm not looking for a cure, but an effective treatment that's more effective than the meds I get to take the rest of my life.

Like I said I'm just looking for thoughts and experiences.",2.6280218166561795,4.748328903083703,4.2724103209565785,83.68447870778269,77.14977973568281,7.495615691210406,28.43066918397315,8.418075326091056,2.2312510593664774,899,40,175,18,21,301,135,227,0.067,0.7709999999999999,0.162,0.9753,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,2,0,3,5,9,9,0,1,21,0,11,5,0,2,3,39,31,17,0,3,9,0,0,1,0,2,5,1,0,0,12,11,0,1,10,1,2,3,5,1,0,0,8,4,18,8,26,19,6,11,0,0,3,0,14,5,0,3,4,119,30,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323606101560132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879533217360753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158310283625074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171129621472764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14834704866548085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936935341615894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517866023859859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14867180536301772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14211164557021724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277082968397487,0.0,0.08256593045174614,0.12185390994972813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09737807265198377,0.15349621922339196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15128668762047212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026155088287754,0.07097643392560622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439970978738328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15825243069713907,0.3227464956090071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14669131154787185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15732400344003727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16274676703520846,0.0,0.14531924174182873,0.1653603626704501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13819447927927353,0.0,0.14545055114544495,0.0,0.1157692923079389,0.13225738914492566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146052411827528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.329723878871066,0.13692461181453955,0.0,0.10923242474163193,0.116770502160789,0.0,0.0,0.1661402577160302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23067206811476565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20640538361316488,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hotpotatobean,2018/01/01,"Blegh, tired of this (Rant) (triggering) I just had the stupidest disagreement with someone important in my life and now I can't stop with my suicidal thoughts. 
I'm tired of this shit, tired of the ups and downs, seems like these feelings will always be the background music of my life.",4.0430188679245305,6.591455943396228,3.6836226415094337,87.53260377358494,74.47169811320755,8.013584905660379,27.581132075471697,8.841846274778883,2.2722256603773583,227,9,43,5,5,68,38,53,0.334,0.574,0.091,-0.9553,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,3,0,4,6,1,1,0,10,8,2,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,5,1,9,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,3,28,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18514699417775185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125082577552691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3143322286537298,0.1087076452301028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025656762820157,0.0,0.0,0.22840436514117865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18853286573211955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18602917665814586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433909416051649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17664889568414505,0.0,0.7672310566756522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jibberjabbery,2018/01/01,"2017 was brutal All of my recent med changes were on 2017. Zoloft made me mixed and totally insane, I got lithium poisoning, akathisia from abilify, suicidal from trileptal, suicidal on latuda, depakote didn't work out, haldol wasn't right, too much wellbutrin made me unstable. It's been an almost nonstop joyride.

I almost hospitalized myself a few times. I've never been before so it's a big deal. I legitimately almost killed myself on 3 occasions. I dabbled in self harm. I had a very rough year. Professionally I didn't get along with my old teaching team and they turned our kids against me. Principal got involved and was on my side, it was ugly. So I finished my first year of teaching and now my second year is going much better but the end of that first year was miserable.

2017 was not my friend.

I saw an idea on Facebook to put a note in a jar each week that has one good thing that happened that week on each note then at the end of the year look at all of the great things that happened. I love that idea.

Here's to hoping everyone has a better 2018. It can't be worse than 2017, that's for sure.",2.5157839866555456,4.921530261467893,3.430508757297748,88.11672226855715,78.95412844036696,6.348957464553795,23.67055879899917,7.520522993642371,1.1105614678899085,879,30,174,13,22,280,129,218,0.123,0.738,0.139,0.8201,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,0,1,6,5,13,3,1,12,0,17,3,0,2,5,24,30,8,3,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,13,9,0,0,2,1,0,2,6,5,0,4,17,3,22,8,25,12,8,34,0,1,2,1,9,14,0,4,18,114,35,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3429723515755522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971497120399296,0.0,0.0,0.20194703304961595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077603915598326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770359173066125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20224032234297934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909371121633488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19422478988970945,0.0,0.0,0.0882069603776511,0.0,0.05964877576297796,0.0,0.06488507541704303,0.09575983815225653,0.18262332534703726,0.12587211681798033,0.0,0.0,0.20191916695591974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133959301656428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25776660985532235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263114755870975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958735038196887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304230025623702,0.2160596081903356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268164156426211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678552246750133,0.0,0.08805444480760924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11980153260298365,0.0,0.07736410959868634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147717354505198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11272846445895393,0.0,0.0,0.09750000526416122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11910353655997445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497654876241304,0.0,0.10760326584374913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169809265431305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657306896121055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241834735633095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420167456525673,0.0,0.0,0.1831595398047186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311665010940067,0.0,0.1163483263924101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676066067948189
bipolarreddit,Sheepsaysmoo,2018/01/01,"Feel alienated and alone on NYE Every winter I get into a deep depression. It makes me focus on how I have no meaningful relationships  and especially no significant other. I’ve developed a resentment for couples. It’s just jealousy but it becomes intrusive thoughts. “I’ll always be alone” “you’ll never find someone for you”. It’s sick thinking but I don’t know how to make it stop.

I want to be able to be happy without needing things outside myself. It feels pathological, because on certain meds the obsession goes away, unfortunately along with my sex drive. I would usually talk shit about people who need to be in a relationship really badly to feel okay. But goddamn I just want to cuddle and be next to someone. 

I hope this year is different and better than last year. Good luck guys. ",3.50966836734694,6.378168142857143,4.9305399659863935,76.07703443877553,78.45578231292518,8.02874149659864,28.23511904761905,8.841846274778883,2.879789455782313,635,28,106,16,16,211,103,147,0.226,0.596,0.17800000000000002,-0.8201,1,2,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,0,1,5,12,2,1,4,1,10,5,1,4,2,35,24,9,0,6,6,0,3,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,10,7,0,1,8,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,1,3,12,7,20,16,0,16,0,1,0,2,7,7,1,2,8,69,22,0,0.14621371997809726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3028666362930815,0.0,0.0,0.12166152795867352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737260298076184,0.0,0.12208234883054768,0.08913052659196433,0.16148156628724405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931415338870494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16178270012636406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12593366276807252,0.0,0.0,0.15276221737316595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12319136522758024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217901501549593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336366911751023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07639063393981235,0.0,0.0,0.12263713125466995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14477457046662467,0.0,0.15564722374975992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14522321507434194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035523668084209,0.11918369666739535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19519758690704525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16241048137198028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21683124139288085,0.11276903463702648,0.0,0.1554999499551941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10136618340856453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09366825303424443,0.0,0.0,0.3139576325986074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15008628240990218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477728209119729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224121691867935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11752104964111865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09713789861648632,0.09368784791071257,0.0,0.11607736143160093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610337556371088,0.0,0.17248128061987947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409448084101208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386603159587283,0.0,0.0,0.1883136837215622
bipolarreddit,catwiththumbs,2018/01/01,"Question for older people: does it really get better? So I'm almost 13 years in on this. I was diagnosed when I was 24, so I've been consciously dealing with it for a big chunk of my adult life, and, honestly, while my episodes aren't as outwardly extreme, it doesn't feel like I am getting better; I'm just controlled and left with an uncomfortable anxiety and paranoia in place of the bigger feelings.

And some of the more peripheral symptoms are definitely more pronounced and progressive. Every year it seems like I have more trouble with memory, attention, and verbal ability. I have ways to work around all of this, but it's exhausting to keep myself ""on"" and not get lost in thought. My s/o sometimes doesn't understand me or has to remind me to answer someone if they've asked me a question and I'm just staring into space.

It feels like I have a very slow, drawn out terminal illness.

How does this progress? What is this going to be like at the 25 or 50 year mark?",6.39963924963925,6.494354158730161,6.844242424242427,76.59545454545456,65.61375661375659,10.25897065897066,34.11303511303511,10.018931242160765,3.323143915343916,772,32,145,16,11,252,120,189,0.117,0.797,0.086,-0.6033,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,7,7,10,0,0,7,0,14,5,0,2,1,38,30,18,0,1,7,0,3,4,0,0,5,0,0,1,11,14,0,2,11,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,5,4,13,7,24,24,5,24,0,1,1,0,5,15,0,8,11,94,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763561763441646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278795364954833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312490855260532,0.13783253421175065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607898988074864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653617427285275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15199979575424225,0.0,0.14964419396168555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258044056084045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242209875321463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2236438521990168,0.21065627429836656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310872998772247,0.0,0.08379114065998383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310476786802911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601893857659643,0.0,0.10413823821912603,0.2881186623133971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16094354954506693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221339281462463,0.0,0.15403899018927858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.330323589257544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09445112383347318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421997955490025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12492184188579865,0.0,0.14581773759556807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15324220786979445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704752553494015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15348582684860854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12164994358363902,0.0,0.11702764454725614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733498999176842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848313887238857
bipolarreddit,athousandsuns0,2018/01/01,"As a woman in my early twenties, how do I build my trust in men and confidence in romantic relationships? Just in need of some advice. I am finally doing quite well dealing with being bipolar II (diagnosed a year ago), but I am finding some issues that are making themselves more apparent as I lean back in to the dating scene. Not only do my mental health issues make me nervous going into a relationship, but I am noticing I have some real trust issues. 

My father was an alcoholic most of my life and was not present very often. I have not had many men in my life that I have been able to fully trust. I know where my trust problems come from, but I am having trouble working on these issues. Anytime I meet a new guy and things are great, as soon as they mention a good friend that is a girl, my stomach just drops and I begin wondering if I can trust them. 

My first serious boyfriend also ended up dating his “good friend” right after we broke up and I think that is kinda adding to this thought spiral.

I guess I’m asking how can I come to terms with the fact that a guy could be unfaithful? Because of course I can never know for sure. How do I deal with that possibility without it making me push the person away out of fear? I get the worst feeling in my body just thinking about being in a relationship with someone and finding out that they secretly are very attracted to their friend that they just can’t be with for whatever reason. 

Please help:( I want to have a positive relationship in my life but I am getting in the way of that. ",5.040986842105261,5.81075165131579,5.825500000000003,80.36950000000003,68.67105263157895,8.448421052631579,28.68684210526316,8.548686976883017,2.055124210526316,1218,41,233,18,20,399,166,304,0.08,0.721,0.199,0.9914,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,1,0,5,3,15,21,0,2,15,0,32,9,2,7,3,62,53,19,0,5,13,1,1,0,3,0,7,0,0,7,13,17,1,0,11,0,0,4,6,7,1,1,5,1,41,14,43,43,7,41,0,1,0,0,29,19,0,9,16,179,54,1,0.09354014347306976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140634560894648,0.08291769329957739,0.0999659659985618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480401894029089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744740715612791,0.0,0.08788404394617971,0.07192659644231597,0.0,0.05702120325296098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039020122827126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611531019834139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468419313249791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19287156117363646,0.0,0.09494127662061423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284880293162054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10525866711508083,0.047296707106821344,0.0,0.0,0.10246865496865656,0.1709879930236087,0.07956519825318871,0.0,0.0,0.2168066484328059,0.0,0.09774172847526492,0.0,0.053161019169197805,0.15691406872632666,0.0,0.10312833840477496,0.10304501384460908,0.1852388967974926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942879837756606,0.0,0.0,0.06269798642839816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3905264291746067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10281443313342148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19821050893715747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187316316358176,0.09483502377563137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426646374431076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935883114242697,0.07214392521336015,0.09034165345181856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10649607332398647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114149419156726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167564526915612,0.0,0.1026789879555353,0.0,0.1054524571010663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950528443141292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949145666745844,0.0,0.10646916181592417,0.0,0.09617484657921158,0.0,0.4017084306744718,0.0,0.07988277143134086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925626001549317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881604782212415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06214391491181375,0.11987349390418316,0.0,0.07426042538219965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15436082936319614,0.0551724001619656,0.07424781195363132,0.0,0.0,0.08410382270191291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09016936032023523,0.1014402954411696,0.0680983385061267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060236785562585764
bipolarreddit,nicobyday,2018/01/02,"Partner struggling with depressive episodes Hi Everyone, 

I have a partner who struggles with depressive episodes, where he self-isolates and will completely disappear (meaning, will go to entirely different cities). He is on medication, is very consistent with taking it, and regularly attends counselling. He is so wonderful to actively work towards his goals, and uses this isolation as a way to not subject anyone to any pain that he may cause them. Although I am well aware self-isolating is a way that he manages those experiences, I was wondering if anyone else had this experience with their partner, and if they were able to build that trust with them for them to get their space, while also staying in the same location? In terms of longevity, I am concerned that these spells of radio silence and disappearing acts are not conducive to a healthy dynamic, regardless of his well-intentions. I've suggested going to counselling with him, and he doesn't seem to have interest in it. Any advice is greatly appreciated! ",11.781931818181825,10.583162420454553,10.488863636363636,59.04704545454546,55.47727272727274,14.481818181818182,49.27272727272727,13.22790407523584,6.803968181818181,830,48,123,25,8,261,114,176,0.112,0.773,0.116,0.4241,1,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,6,2,4,10,0,2,5,0,17,2,0,2,0,25,26,13,0,3,4,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,3,11,12,0,0,4,1,0,6,3,5,1,0,3,0,13,5,25,20,2,18,0,2,0,0,21,7,0,6,2,88,24,3,0.14302450160819985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397618876681567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437664226274825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19452313122543524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20001211401950936,0.1465455037512376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14692556106380344,0.0,0.0,0.14995846878118166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463735873185747,0.0,0.0,0.1494301629671516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11947861859045375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136666040466999,0.0,0.2798108136459388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472439897167492,0.0,0.16256824052974592,0.0,0.0,0.15768501794388642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15579561132073072,0.0,0.14408213842954626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218815368826616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13020413463949385,0.29841149532423106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15244508869887094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990405260589929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075366255905219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352724808656387,0.0,0.1180101925643058,0.0,0.2270523842680389,0.0,0.0,0.2571924069957969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31020794195465,0.10412354058436236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,windofchaos,2018/01/02,"Abilify My pdoc started me on 10mg of abilify, so I took my first dose this morning. 

How has abilify worked for you? How were the side effects and how did you deal with them? Did you feel better? I know everyone reacts different but I always get very anxious with med changes, and like knowing how it went for other people!",2.134285714285713,4.711117349206352,3.4660317460317493,86.24285714285719,81.85714285714286,6.774603174603175,26.46031746031746,7.957251820313856,1.9386888888888894,255,11,48,5,7,83,49,63,0.045,0.862,0.093,0.4753,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,3,1,4,5,2,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,6,0,14,11,8,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,1,10,2,6,6,0,6,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,33,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137311931589113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29018289187181684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271750878017144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27172775836585605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2648152179529231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683679182449396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24544429348557725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298780154495943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218488150235036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13420069279146124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2823311674697522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254906396061678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853176887350754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780769622853728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18180946410310836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853850457580185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21193947113026348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381152431791859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18699984843796527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,notnotpsycho,2018/01/02,"Money and Mania Are these things a problem for anyone else.. like a HUGE problem? I just added the balances on my credit cards and was damn near shocked. I don’t even want to talk about the insane APRs that I “missed” when applying for these cards. (I just checked those too and fuck my life) You all are probably thinking I’m some kind of idiot, which I would not disagree, for not knowing what’s going on with my finances. When I’m manic, I apparently *only* occupy my time visiting retail websites. However, it can get so bad that I won’t even necessarily want anything so I’ll go to amazon and buy like paper plates and light bulbs and shit. I’m about sick to my stomach right now. ",3.5114747474747467,5.26423014074074,4.4052525252525285,85.33818181818181,73.51851851851852,6.983164983164983,25.60606060606061,7.686295010490155,1.342111111111112,539,18,106,7,11,174,93,135,0.222,0.665,0.113,-0.9621,2,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,1,0,0,12,13,4,0,4,0,7,5,2,0,1,20,19,10,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,9,7,0,0,2,0,6,3,4,9,0,0,1,1,13,4,13,16,2,12,0,1,0,1,3,5,3,1,6,66,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15067225185175478,0.22079003721539592,0.17732594698582724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17992112891509454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001022187490756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846518652215964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992125815408964,0.11258211550359402,0.0,0.24493039334412825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2243946607509517,0.1184250224242009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15220355904139327,0.21055035393469132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16388619356573295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323294757210615,0.4123804408713493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840231708672173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22119244611963412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17319882952175078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14315878214119893,0.13807420583886446,0.0,0.0,0.12565114444262573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25419749065382324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15307449307515494,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jakeas,2018/01/02,"Traveling Advice Hello!

I'll be traveling from Florida to Maine to visit my in-laws (and play in snow!) in less than 24 hours. 

Severe season/weather changes in general tend to trigger a cycle... but I've been feeling the tides of change (a mix of dysphoric mild/moderate mania and hallucinations/delusions) already for about a two weeks. 

I was able to get in and see my pdoc and she increased my Rexulti. 

Other than another med tweak is there anything else you guys suggest in order to not become completely unhinged?  Anyone else triggered by travel and/or the seasons? ",4.526310679611656,7.300743621359223,5.382339805825243,74.81933495145633,73.95145631067963,8.003495145631069,31.65922330097088,8.841846274778883,3.2737619417475736,455,22,70,10,10,148,80,103,0.018000000000000002,0.911,0.071,0.6421,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,5,0,4,0,0,2,0,10,8,5,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,4,0,5,1,0,0,1,2,2,6,1,18,5,3,14,0,0,1,0,6,5,0,0,3,44,7,0,0.20718309403261406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20245692164164994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286316961989893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21724953871994548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14486723659448206,0.212283563601726,0.1704940332451614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22881744981001514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43834448397720654,0.0,0.21722753226987745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3461497798205733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047579974983332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10824461546518338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2051438363719302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20403361376595314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23013371138504415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16509810185838314,0.0,0.0,0.2340579239337449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023877779888618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661897809413809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ICareAboutYourCats,2018/01/02,Anyone else trying the Paleo Diet? Is anyone else trying the Paleo diet for the new year? I’m embarking on it to help me lose antipsychotic weight. ,1.9192857142857136,4.75181378571429,4.418571428571429,75.8514285714286,89.7142857142857,5.6571428571428575,14.142857142857142,7.1686216300943375,0.5018285714285713,118,2,18,2,4,41,21,28,0.08900000000000001,0.8220000000000001,0.08900000000000001,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.357269848189436,0.5235311884453379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4268352258056857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712403355577505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858125594179312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467405403776164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3469031882308166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3111012293403179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16451831965030106
bipolarreddit,neurotickathy,2018/01/02,"I used to be a morning person Ever since being medicated I hate waking up. My sleep meds make me wake up foggy and tired, and I feel irritable every morning unless I have some alone time while taking my antidepressant. My head hurts and feels heavy and it just sucks. 

I used to wake up by just opening my eyes and feel great about the sunlight poking into my room. I’ll be able to just wake up and start my day with no problems. Even now when I miss my nightly dose I’ll wake up so easily and positive, and it makes me miss not waking up in a fog. 

I don’t need advice, just needed to vent a little. I used to be a morning person and now I can’t be. I can’t even be a night person because I have to take my meds and knock out at a certain time. 

I guess that’s the price to pay for overall stability. ",1.8744873949579808,3.2759336588235293,3.861008403361346,89.0088235294118,77.11764705882355,6.26890756302521,20.966386554621845,6.868970318607317,0.32816806722689096,622,15,138,6,14,212,94,170,0.157,0.7659999999999999,0.077,-0.8631,0,2,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,12,8,2,0,8,0,11,12,9,5,2,35,29,14,0,3,6,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,1,3,3,14,0,0,3,0,2,0,5,6,0,0,0,4,22,2,22,23,1,24,0,3,1,0,3,13,1,2,11,91,25,1,0.13993091723415768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13673887282164274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14492622929798754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853005883541255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09024386542007863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18484610222649966,0.12657552583449574,0.11789783294075075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122598286216511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542743302501927,0.1541496812845269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13815281078145575,0.1436094911528452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979894101923386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024754023959912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868099476703602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108634077599101,0.14096567763428153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20751400414182747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626313732879195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3665468386253365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13389498970992714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11575230074229495,0.0,0.1400319736690914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904382343881524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104212702851357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631896862677302,0.16083000469117453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3625661533612344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,La-la-la-la-lies,2018/01/02,"[Trigger Warning Suicide] - Why is it a bad thing? I'm not really sure what to put here. I'm dysfunctional. I've tried everything I can think of, from therapy, CBT and going to my doctor to exercise, dieting, lifestyle changes, meditation, supplements and so on. I can't access meds. I don't have any offline support network.

The past year was the year with the least depression for me. I didn't really want to die anymore but I wouldn't have minded either way. I tried all of the above things. I still doubt I can ever hold down a job, have a relationship or study. I'm pretty close to being kicked out of school again. 

This past week the day I spent the most time not crying or laying in bed was new years eve. I think 2 hours for a movie and 2 hours for a meal with family. I could bear to listen to music today and didn't throw up my lunch so that's an improvement.

But even at my best, I don't know what to do. I just don't want to live. The thought has bounced around here and there for years. And medication or not, my broken brain will never be fixed. 

Why would it be a bad thing to go?",1.4769696969696966,3.5189879555555588,3.0830808080808083,91.1743181818182,80.55555555555556,6.579797979797982,20.005050505050505,7.686295010490155,0.5749111111111107,850,22,188,14,22,280,136,225,0.086,0.7929999999999999,0.121,0.899,1,0,0,0,0,2,31.0,0,0,0,1,11,7,0,1,14,0,23,7,1,1,4,39,37,13,2,5,10,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,1,0,9,11,3,1,4,1,1,4,11,4,0,0,6,1,18,3,27,24,5,31,0,1,0,0,2,8,0,5,18,121,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382021512579188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12223961539128755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10972647014491717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20583190976129992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935251292871505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13759759215792802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13039147371328427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09841212730782843,0.0,0.1353940111222453,0.07949173322804151,0.0,0.10616262940176098,0.0,0.1279231810624641,0.0,0.0,0.12616061134731266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141127919351593,0.11149464715411174,0.0,0.0,0.11077706748365168,0.0,0.11619743298930395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14010164043712475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427701915589573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231534627799072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773981654094945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10883978432112787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13691274728194774,0.12417028003679945,0.0,0.0,0.12445625740111525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506479021588632,0.11904412336526135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353289556050989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539851852321834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390914481552685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792549529665464,0.0,0.0,0.1323338298307256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474449262366336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843464206873244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348251285669606,0.1398726329019139,0.1161699663921598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14095718731266502,0.0,0.2456630222217837,0.1579585324300618,0.0,0.09785372419678033,0.07187320127510831,0.0,0.11683493626186447,0.0,0.0,0.1673692773483856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14540247516593105,0.09783710335258304,0.09887077969554806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22244380232077807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755951965005339,0.0,0.0,0.31749852067800105
bipolarreddit,bugbody,2018/01/02,"stuck in a mixed episode and cant get out (self harm mention, description of manic ep) i've been manic since yesterday cooking & cleaning & working on projects & up & up & up & up but today i realised it's probably either a mixed episode or i hit peak because i'm pacing cant stop moving & breaking into tears at random and clenching my fists so hard i leave crescents in my palms and i want to scream my body feels too tight im too tight in my skin and i want to scream and i want to scream and i want to i keep getting caught in these thought loops and i want to cut myself open i need to split myself down the middle i have taken my meds and i have taken my emergency ativan // klonopin as well and nothing is helping and i dont know what to do i dont know what to do i want to pull myself apart

my partner is behind me on his computer playing videogames and every time i even think about working up the courage to tell him i start crying and have to leave the room until i calm down and i dont know what to do",1.3257514198339884,3.2771133532110137,2.640222804718217,94.6231039755352,80.60550458715595,5.069812145041503,22.766273481869806,5.916634753146586,0.2258787243337701,813,27,179,5,21,262,116,218,0.157,0.7390000000000001,0.104,-0.9311,0,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,0,0,2,6,9,1,0,5,0,14,4,3,0,0,37,37,18,0,7,3,0,5,0,1,0,0,3,2,2,5,16,1,4,6,2,0,3,5,5,1,0,6,8,32,4,33,30,1,30,0,0,0,0,7,20,0,2,6,110,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7164477784095666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575832400681359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492613581470084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376221850441948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33212675228977445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062391348556583126,0.0,0.07958842194095943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047762893176460264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987051323785152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461951773293491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331597718621802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10203531441066577,0.0,0.0,0.0839622848956277,0.0,0.0,0.15574175520271094,0.0,0.0,0.2000435211190105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492613581470084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039829901941616,0.0,0.07004247537186581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063896514830692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184615715338166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854460709819167,0.0,0.0,0.07814005331840443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668607845782523,0.0,0.0,0.07897457368645236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256406862791107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060527521198286575,0.0,0.07499238280495325,0.05508162992960182,0.0,0.08953905778304902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342972840717897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493280283489467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13753911705592964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ifoundxaway,2018/01/02,"I cried at midnight in New York I live in California.   I watched the New York Times Square celebration online.  At midnight their time, 9pm my time,  I watched the ball drop and saw everyone so excited, and I started bawling my eyes out.

I'm not excited for the new year.  Last year I struggled so hard and I feel like this new year is going to be more struggling and more feeling like I'm never good enough.",2.181759259259259,4.433445740740744,3.363688271604939,88.98034722222225,79.24691358024691,6.519135802469138,27.40895061728395,7.6454224807358475,1.5896283950617285,319,14,66,5,8,103,51,81,0.165,0.6859999999999999,0.149,-0.1128,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,2,7,0,2,3,0,2,1,1,0,1,9,9,6,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,8,10,5,7,7,3,20,0,0,5,0,1,5,0,0,15,34,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17898668893348385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16836504473333605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557002846646421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16477909255909348,0.23281491563118145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260501453550037,0.136669968355737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14596610901800589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13282137216849166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15921273240419812,0.0,0.14388282360793778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12567270807521055,0.6294905749974198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11533283138743422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3406895734635161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28504243753439995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3147924074691464
bipolarreddit,CatapillarSwings,2018/01/02,Social media Have any of yall started a social media account solely to share about your mental battle?,8.893157894736841,8.637101473684211,9.20947368421053,62.876315789473715,60.57894736842106,7.6,29.52631578947368,3.1291,1.946010526315789,84,2,10,0,1,28,17,19,0.131,0.758,0.111,-0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,7,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745397123690628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40684927379774016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8230722087785182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28575120975949514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Hiddenindifference,2018/01/02,How do you deal with your kids while on a manic? I just need some advice or coping help. ,0.17684210526315525,2.1284227368421083,1.778157894736843,99.2346052631579,84.78947368421052,3.8,9.5,3.1291,-2.040284210526316,68,0,16,0,2,22,19,19,0.0,0.856,0.14400000000000002,0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,6,2,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,1,12,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5626027076429266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5935586956283794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3859038089027792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4269010640313652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gekosaurus,2018/01/02,"My biggest struggle with BP is probably that I go into full ""fuck my boss"" mode sometimes Like when I get depressed, I think ""Oh, I can't keep a job, I'm pathetic."", but it's not that I *couldn't* keep a job, it's that I had shitty bosses in shitty companies, and hypomanic me has 0 tolerance for that",6.34,4.349731571428574,7.958730158730159,75.4057142857143,66.6190476190476,11.574603174603176,35.285714285714285,10.504223727775694,3.429533333333333,231,9,50,5,3,82,46,63,0.254,0.6729999999999999,0.073,-0.9062,2,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,1,2,0,5,1,0,2,0,11,12,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,0,9,1,4,10,1,6,0,1,0,1,0,4,1,0,2,31,15,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372946645243937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547027363950949,0.14394157570829605,0.0,0.15657756384796784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5467984209656248,0.4897683958965506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345993081393616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970442567114873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.272484488678647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28802081457948986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17653442257872026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jokosmash,2018/01/03,"I shared my story and something wonderful happened. Would you mind sharing your story? December was a very difficult month for me, and this subreddit became a sanctuary during some especially hard moments. So first of all - thank you to all of you. You have helped me to realize I am not alone in this.

As a sort of therapy for myself, I shared a video of my recent challenges on Facebook. I felt completely vulnerable and almost removed it. But then responses of love and encouragement began pouring in. It was empowering and brought me a sense of hope I haven't had in a while.

People from all parts of my life began private messaging me, sharing their own stories of mental health challenges.

I realized that talking openly about my challenges is very helpful to me in the start of the journey to management. I invite you to [hear my story](https://www.facebook.com/tommygeoco/posts/10212173351023813?pnref=story) and share your own story in the comments below. 

What kind of challenges are you currently facing? How far have you come? What are you suffering from right now?

I begin a DBT partial in-patient program on January 16th, and I'm trying to make it through every day leading up to that date.

Thank you again for everything this subreddit has provided in allowing me to pursue self-love and a sense of peace. It's a long road, I'm told, but today I feel present and capable.
",6.577630522088352,8.389809755020082,6.675682730923697,71.83994979919682,65.90763052208835,9.870682730923695,34.71686746987952,10.125756701596842,3.907130120481928,1115,52,178,27,18,356,146,249,0.029,0.818,0.154,0.9645,2,1,1,0,0,0,41.0,0,11,1,6,5,17,0,0,12,0,12,4,1,4,3,32,31,16,0,2,3,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,11,11,0,0,5,1,0,5,2,2,0,1,8,4,33,15,37,22,7,37,0,1,0,1,26,14,0,5,18,131,44,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16163821145534302,0.16718181617278136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904851948121724,0.16924516907566955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410215868074277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360028059057739,0.0,0.14507334774406933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161849841670613,0.0,0.1549879373087981,0.0,0.0,0.137303258617685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427426417408372,0.0,0.14460007580763204,0.0,0.0,0.17158127318728186,0.1819313946610733,0.0,0.2163920416057394,0.0,0.0,0.16032588563558153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680934645264659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401529549279968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285108884386194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145687310138703,0.0,0.10774870250180016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626727882870701,0.0,0.16298757783547546,0.0,0.12884342452249406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748014792798659,0.0,0.11190788690470356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593821830670682,0.0,0.0,0.1378512850559666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683956377747794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426853985045945,0.0,0.0,0.1142534816741234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974279873152622,0.0,0.2972265910644972,0.18459715098573107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530067162996082,0.15424315354600468,0.0,0.10959317630437934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.266375819325579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750524528939396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11466770994249773,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lifewasjustabridge,2018/01/03,"Longest manic episode? What's the longest episode of mania or hypomania you fellow bipolar reditors have experienced? the reason why I ask is because I'm currently riding an approximate 35 day streak of consistent good days in a row- which is a little bit scary because of the possible back lash it may cause. or perhaps my good days will never end, and this is just what my life looks like now (Ha!)",6.2288,7.392472946666674,6.779999999999998,73.17000000000002,66.2,9.733333333333334,35.0,9.888512548439397,3.6350000000000007,321,15,55,7,5,105,59,75,0.038,0.848,0.115,0.721,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,6,1,6,2,0,2,1,8,9,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,4,4,7,1,11,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,3,9,32,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160419196061437,0.0,0.0,0.1776972064865328,0.0,0.2817458083583332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522950579386739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373974430164036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4471100018666691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20468090483760149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3876617697803338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16322869646072155,0.1129009729751344,0.2316171397964492,0.0,0.0,0.19406095959920075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17823412492024007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605240338186793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23760336811019125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20852660780368126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,inkedandnerdy,2018/01/03,"Happy Event caused Depression? Okay so I'm kind of weirded out by this and not sure how to take it. I went to my psych doctor yesterday after having months of depression and we realized my depression started when I got engaged. She said major life events can trigger mood changes. I am NOT depressed about being engaged, I am super excited and was waiting very impatiently for the day and couldn't be happier to spend the rest of my life with my fiance. She said maybe the wedding planning is what's stressing me out and causing the depression. I do tend to get depressive when I have to deal with my family a lot which wedding planning has definitely entailed but idk. I feel guilty for being depressed during what's supposed to be such a happy time in my life. ",6.537486590038313,7.220321124137932,6.8064367816091975,74.95946360153258,65.34482758620689,9.754789272030653,35.42145593869732,9.725611199111238,3.5342260536398475,613,28,106,12,9,198,96,145,0.149,0.7,0.151,0.3266,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,3,6,19,0,1,6,1,14,4,0,4,1,23,25,10,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,5,10,0,1,2,0,1,1,3,9,0,0,5,3,17,9,19,15,3,14,0,7,0,0,8,3,0,1,10,76,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500416773733589,0.12874392016932856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07848732026248957,0.12546877611911464,0.7337485256362813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12456651660772912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472922738453376,0.0,0.061535873086179575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06358394660640412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733570906879467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591067583530537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267332565579228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578838457983234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346615890821473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222653912868025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714087827156227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315317583173623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614086125497647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13940851652484987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470210783990906,0.0,0.09150428981533168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07096505180717122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10041638188170092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128183960421374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,stupid-loneliness,2018/01/03,"I feel like a failure because I've had to move home to deal with my mental illness I've been just fine living abroad for over a year, but I came home for the holidays with the intent to move on to another country afterwards. But in the last week or so before I came home, my mental health dropped off a cliff. And it has continued to fall. And now I'm having to change my entire life plan because I need to take care of this so badly that I need to stick around my hometown while I seek therapy. This is such a sudden change from everything that I'd had planned for MONTHS, and now I feel like a failure because I have to move back and stick around to deal with my stupid mental illness. Like, as it is, I'm depressed as hell, and feeling this sense of failure on top of that is only making it worse. I have an intake appointment with a local counseling center next week, so I am actively working on getting help, but everything still sucks. 

Now I have to find a car, a job, and an apartment (I can't handle living with my parents for longer than a couple of weeks), which are factors that I hadn't planned for at all. I have a love/hate relationship with my hometown - I've fantasized about getting the fuck out of here ever since I was, like, 14 years old, and it breaks my heart that when I finally made a huge move that I'd been wanting to make for years (living abroad), I now have to cut that plan short to deal with this mental illness shit. Which is why it feels like failure: I tried something that I'd been wanting for SO long, and just when I thought that I'd made it, I ended up stuck back here to deal with factors beyond my control.

So the point of this is part vent, but part ""has anyone ever felt like this?"" and if the answer to that is yes, ""any tips on what to do about it?""",8.747786885245901,5.429640390710388,8.272994535519128,79.2083442622951,63.12568306010929,11.180765027322405,36.14863387978142,8.447377352677275,2.726510601092897,1397,43,301,13,15,445,167,366,0.168,0.722,0.11,-0.9841,2,0,1,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,0,7,26,16,6,0,19,1,25,8,2,6,3,51,50,25,0,5,8,1,5,6,0,0,5,0,3,0,26,22,0,1,8,1,0,8,2,8,0,0,14,5,29,8,57,36,3,58,1,1,0,1,7,20,4,2,34,196,55,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05244474767805676,0.08086782000959014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053924614446758924,0.0,0.0,0.13730761801834834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860217712462233,0.06439259643585853,0.14103626160367108,0.0,0.06562406939796094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17641116236834778,0.07862973410075652,0.0,0.16316703382353814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0864974674467731,0.0,0.08533263177955636,0.0,0.0,0.3180323856831381,0.06642398022313363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830608485512958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13952024887256856,0.0,0.0,0.13862229639893905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15597825314015346,0.16528521586605793,0.07404800439906682,0.08448200086918434,0.07048695905913473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712968812804748,0.08058480705664298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08197574012779704,0.0,0.09138844803925864,0.051692406283270334,0.0,0.2320751703185931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653043437166625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286369614242733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0544726592843847,0.2260637878179684,0.0,0.2042970786041064,0.06824942791545438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960447870562445,0.14594701748731098,0.10295738539897488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31087826709222616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06155703877020944,0.32786856611544746,0.0,0.11436810280475468,0.0,0.0,0.08201878174181662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092524336344882,0.0,0.0,0.05865379784642893,0.0,0.0,0.08563345497461745,0.1670284917837168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290402678041827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279881296329157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07916333119699011,0.0637950729442519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059371313311813965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061588722461844575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057985198569609986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819428715289236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06122525296739768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052359920017038125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09097562098114606,0.0,0.1855848169591572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958947234717283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05614481711138277,0.0,0.0785926225120869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14898968387391806
bipolarreddit,yesihaveshatmyself,2018/01/03,"Seroquel and snoring Hi all. I’ve been on 150mg of seroquel for about 2 months now and I am snoring like a grizzly bear. I’ve never had a snoring problem before and my husband is getting tired of sleeping on the couch! Any experience with this or advice? Will it go away? 

Thanks!",1.157678571428573,3.7051979821428596,2.701428571428572,89.94357142857143,87.03571428571428,3.9142857142857146,27.642857142857146,5.288315135182226,0.9033142857142856,221,11,42,1,7,72,45,56,0.051,0.7959999999999999,0.152,0.691,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,5,2,1,0,2,8,8,4,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,8,5,1,7,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,4,27,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.306975488524139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21362702748747414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951463286725565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26731132282639986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072907165408484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16412599501708713,0.0,0.17853388319145713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347369422822718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25074478943318845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422853308365123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30059103917546576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.314368420910845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892193345008474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3610595015201745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Aneaunymousse,2018/01/03,"Getting a bit high... escalating quickly So my psychiatrist put me on Lamictal first, then added Seroplex (SSRI) about two weeks ago.  And two days ago, I finally started getting better. Like a lot, lot better. And I feel I'm getting higher and higher as the days pass. Today I'm missing work because all I want to do is to see some friends and climb a building. I wanted to watch a TV show but I can't since I just wanna dance and sing and do something. All my apartment's completely clean (much thank's to high me) so there's no much to do here.

I feel like my chest is heavy as shit, my arms and my legs need to move. I've been getting no more than 4 hours of sleep last days.  I felt great... Now I feel just awesome.

And I just can't get out of my head I should buy anything I think of, like this TV which is around 2000$ while I have an income of barely half that. It feels right and the right time. Don't know what to do. But guess what, I'M GONNA CLIMB A BUILDING. No worry, pretty safe though. 

edit: by -> buy",0.4047798742138369,2.594047245283022,1.8814150943396264,97.30690251572331,85.98113207547169,4.476729559748428,18.738993710691823,5.7366,-0.4179251572327041,784,21,179,5,24,252,127,212,0.09,0.759,0.152,0.911,1,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,6,12,11,1,0,8,0,13,6,6,0,2,35,37,18,0,5,5,0,5,3,1,2,0,0,1,0,6,11,0,1,7,5,2,6,6,2,0,4,2,7,21,9,20,33,9,31,0,1,2,0,1,8,1,4,20,106,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21485843947592506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973052642665424,0.1078863974920974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07387739733488931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21436859976508826,0.13231005884040545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12706729810588674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23447605806647345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24511286498543544,0.08657944720935422,0.1163631348557334,0.13275969473860624,0.0,0.103085684448001,0.0,0.0,0.09363248521232803,0.0,0.31658857139212715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13361438900223235,0.13350643264059928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243777521781524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560915843601022,0.0,0.0,0.11934951225155928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660384466689383,0.09878749347961233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776245777407586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.206065871556852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128807705499517,0.17817983722492384,0.0898621851990907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12329563136815047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183123391118253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20699427260644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965741750428396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12440164267033962,0.10025111056520092,0.0,0.12127932477314365,0.0,0.0,0.09329936969309699,0.0,0.0,0.08578018087494339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11157712819236508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07765481289296455,0.11907032965278545,0.0,0.07066791405533107,0.0,0.11487565723989775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23677356042279954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296412899611646,0.0,0.09721275298931692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822907488192422,0.12307615721682405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BitchfulThinking,2018/01/03,"Manic Pixie Dream Girls? What are your views on the [Manic Pixie Dream Girl](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manic_Pixie_Dream_Girl) trope in movies? Especially the ladies on here?

While the characters aren't usually *explicitly* bipolar in films, and more along the lines of having borderline personality (as someone with BPD), I personally find them more cringe-inducing than relatable (Despite attracting the same kinds of guys. Ugh.) and I kind of hate the term. ",8.783541247484905,12.668950492957745,6.813601609657952,64.27802816901414,65.19718309859155,10.817706237424547,31.269617706237426,10.608840637214634,4.528632193158955,379,15,50,12,7,111,55,71,0.055,0.84,0.105,0.3913,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,1,0,1,5,1,0,6,0,3,1,0,0,1,7,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,4,3,11,4,4,7,0,0,1,0,6,4,0,0,3,32,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3403347073806124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469776917243065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675619167147308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.266787934244256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5627885292486435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4718942419748562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289579263103609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976109697660563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ACONHA11,2018/01/03,"Experiences with mixed eps? (self harm/suicide mention, description of episode) I was wondering what your mixed episodes were like, if you care to share. I thought I was stable for a day or so because I was getting shit done, but not going as crazy as usual on a hypo episode. But today... oy! I got like zero sleep, and am currently wide-awake writing this at 3am, got up and ran some errands that i ususally do with my husband alone because I was annoyed that he was still tired. Like I wanted to kick him in the head because he was still asleep. And in the car I randomly started crying and couldn't stop until i started screaming. When i stopped screaming, I began to cry again - this went on for some time. My chest feels like it's going to burst open and every other thought I have is either ""God I just want to die, please let me die,"" or ""I should go buy some new razors."" I haven't showered in...awhile?... and my room is absolutely disgusting - which I would usually clean obsessively on a normal hypo episode, but I just have zero energy. I can feel myself getting fatter and grosser but the thought of going to the gym make me want to throw up. 

Maybe it's just a *light* depressive episode? I just got out of one though, man I would hate for another to start so soon! :/ 

Love you guys, hope you're all coping well, and having a good new year <3",4.162105263157893,5.295757015037597,4.68654135338346,86.3979323308271,70.95488721804512,7.404511278195487,28.285714285714285,7.669130373188453,1.5731308270676694,1050,38,213,12,19,334,159,266,0.183,0.645,0.172,-0.8442,2,1,0,0,0,2,51.0,0,3,0,0,13,18,4,1,9,0,22,7,5,1,1,49,51,22,2,10,13,1,2,4,0,3,1,2,3,3,9,12,0,2,6,1,1,8,3,8,1,3,17,5,31,10,28,29,5,40,0,1,0,1,14,11,1,9,25,136,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104353344055298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180964979195587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949998777758948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108715222346758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342535768182533,0.06876678917259597,0.0,0.0918392750745058,0.0,0.22132783033361025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911833763977237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983940774259759,0.0,0.0,0.10430347896839363,0.0,0.0,0.10782950410121972,0.07617567407975204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141834977729173,0.0,0.2423985382992252,0.08943522314909867,0.2558425040674192,0.0,0.0,0.1055793288992516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10527391716197644,0.1094319658773642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059065106442527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903522679185193,0.0,0.208373886700318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962367031422956,0.0,0.07117558754266927,0.0,0.10712301499918488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20596562186437875,0.0,0.0,0.10447363675295326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0722544705504684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704646084403254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123714884680114,0.0,0.10945298558129067,0.0,0.0,0.10670585935010723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264173534752904,0.0,0.17030787991505572,0.1782929917112384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166346589114466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047623069510572,0.25395419680771003,0.062176141826800875,0.12255418109301087,0.10107168511302657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23487323492645426,0.0,0.18867738094648825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958721446979574,0.09884601524773744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563444288624665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15149215605994515,0.0,0.0,0.06866548553998965
bipolarreddit,FruitfulMrs,2018/01/03,"72 hours without sleep so far. Need tips. Advice. I just read this on another post. “Rescue drug” is a great term when describing benzodiazepines.  Vodka is also a rescue drug. That’s what I use. I was going to switch to another “Rescue drug” until I read that. I’ve just realized I could be bipolar recently. Doc prescribed an anti-depressant and I haven’t come down yet. I am now 72 hours without sleep. But, in all fairness when I was revving up I decided to binge drink for two days. I’m not freaking out. I’m just completely unable to close my eyes. I am also full of anxiety. I’m sure this is what smoking crack / meth / cocaine would feel like. I also have been unable to eat or drink. I’m going to see the doctor tomorrow. What can I try in the mean time? I’ve been watching documentaries. Reading. I’ve been getting rushes of feel goods that make my hair tingle. Adrenaline? Maybe? I’ve had way worse episodes on alcohol than just dealing with anxiety by itself. Or depression, but this is very, very, different side effect with this anti depressant. Thank u in advance. ",1.5458529819694853,4.267887281553399,3.1462760055478505,85.60924757281556,88.80582524271843,6.438002773925103,23.376560332871012,7.7094869923839395,1.66317253814147,844,33,155,18,28,277,127,206,0.07,0.8390000000000001,0.09,0.4439,1,0,9,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,2,12,8,0,0,5,0,18,14,4,3,2,30,34,12,0,3,11,0,3,1,0,1,7,0,0,0,11,6,4,0,6,6,0,5,4,3,0,1,6,6,14,5,24,25,3,31,0,2,3,0,1,12,0,2,13,93,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059480815866712,0.0,0.11586944266229808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2601135265467107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22737846319433835,0.16588406131015293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339538673785884,0.11367771536374854,0.0,0.0,0.08656562008384394,0.0,0.0,0.06992279677992012,0.11177764389791472,0.2801494316391142,0.0,0.0,0.11327722715897802,0.0,0.11097383879606684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124232794644728,0.3772030092468566,0.110942101336838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964217746484207,0.07745622912367331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0566456768068522,0.0,0.12323669562865652,0.09093867851711944,0.0,0.1195349134506644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21354636613472516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05296919163049535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07237208837752113,0.0,0.10892381189182077,0.11810262736466225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039305205430694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038376761946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253520501532633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705299619305764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639777303567413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21699928725296996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218583269113694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09981980579445836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632213570216742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361097495295857,0.0,0.1059118979022242,0.0,0.0,0.09364122921354967,0.0,0.17891792560140873,0.0,0.08605981549846821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090286113110117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11049061124123193,0.0770194113276469,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,judithiscari0t,2018/01/03,"I'm on klonopin but it doesn't seem to be very effective anymore... The background (which can be skipped if you'd like):

I've been on benzos for about 16 years. At one point (when I was 20-21) I was put on on Xanax 6mg/day which is obscene. I think this increased my tolerance. At the time, I was also very depressed (maybe exasperated by  the Xanax) and drinking a liter of vodka a day.

Needless to say, after a bit of homelessness and finally moving to a different state, I was slowly tapered down on Valium.  I was relatively stable in that and then was forced to move again to another state where they refused to prescribe any benzos or any adequate medications for my bipolar disorder.

I ended up staying in the house for about nine months because I was too anxious to leave. I would go to my psych appointments with no progress on getting them to put me on something that worked for the intense depression I was in. I *was* seeing a psychiatrist at the time who I really connected with and miss him but have never found another one who I don't feel is judging my life.

I quit drinking cold turkey 5 years ago and have never had any more problems with that.

However, I was then forced to move to yet *another* state where I couldn't find any psychiatric treatment whatsoever as was unmediated and in a mixed episode for over a year. I did finally get into psychiatric treatment by going inpatient and was put back on klonopin 3mg/day which I'm told is a high dose.

Then my psychiatrist suddenly died and his clinic closed. Two months later,  I got an appointment with my wonderful new psychiatrist and was back on track.  Unfortunately, the klonopin doesn't seem to have much effect on me. I've taken 10mg at once with absolutely no effect (I'm aware this is dangerous as fuck but apparently not for me).

To the current situation:

I am looking for a change. My anxiety level is very high but vaping with nicotine (I have never been an actual cigarette smoker) seems to help quite a bit but not entirely. 

With the Klonopin not doing its  job, I feel like a different benzo might be a potential answer. I don't want to be back on Xanax and Valium didn't do much either. Has anyone been in a similar situation with tolerance and successfully switched to a more effective benzo?  If so, any suggestions?",5.785169257476525,6.8046349153318095,6.6772855677424445,74.02924485125861,67.12356979405034,10.604245245798154,32.917935768957626,10.630303351738835,3.681716389173834,1826,78,333,50,29,607,219,437,0.149,0.7559999999999999,0.094,-0.9791,6,0,6,0,0,0,52.0,0,1,2,9,13,9,2,0,25,0,45,11,0,4,3,56,68,27,1,6,12,0,2,2,0,2,8,1,0,0,12,21,2,1,14,3,0,9,14,6,0,4,23,6,37,3,64,37,8,73,0,3,2,1,12,31,1,8,31,232,49,4,0.0,0.0,0.07856364478564036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07136498500639722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06438176796362136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737390880330106,0.25325720054790146,0.061587968641543485,0.09095048782884826,0.07984174411506773,0.056292671562852094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857157479570126,0.0,0.04907658610921619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17578653905096586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516619301916281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15576190918158447,0.0,0.1386818743522044,0.0,0.08355400870725166,0.16822627222814782,0.0922684971824374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15773327673634735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130569295568179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141395784697908,0.05751452879420224,0.0,0.17638392324889088,0.07358233853851058,0.0,0.0,0.08827224881851067,0.0,0.07442782785846422,0.08412362560467153,0.0,0.09150846303038516,0.0,0.06438915154445449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053962437730003,0.17012105386878254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289477270269417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798912083256545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524575100473103,0.0,0.0,0.05686478335934244,0.07866373387151182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06760597042916479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088054100108111,0.0,0.0,0.08110277256403282,0.0,0.08540566774939826,0.0,0.0,0.1285205356190145,0.2566999926305841,0.11836445841285001,0.0,0.18627689469915573,0.07775458394324418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573779250202307,0.10910784517991833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610554989153237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07703474406075474,0.0,0.24279663026287499,0.0,0.17125913736372544,0.0,0.0,0.051575125397602985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402274491734768,0.0,0.0,0.06415400363837866,0.2198728399022312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18098746373872607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061978557933259536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581021556182689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051585914626378564,0.0,0.0,0.09388906741188843,0.0,0.0,0.07692830574305932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864406737152034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19928119985102768,0.04748537198327598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08730688077692182,0.058610372684777326,0.0,0.0,0.05719017309045029,0.0,0.0,0.1555324488939711
bipolarreddit,grey_rain,2018/01/04,"What do you think? (TW: suicide, self injury) [](https://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/2018/01/04/artificial-intelligence-to-listen-for-suicidal-thoughts-on-social-media/)

Apparently, it's being tested in Canada for artificial intelligence to catch behavior related to self-harm and suicide on social media.  As a community in which these behaviors are discussed frequently, I'm wondering what you all think of this.

Part of me thinks it's a good idea.  If we can prevent these behaviors, isn't that a good thing?  However, part of me is taken aback.  Would I be willing  to discuss my suicidal thoughts or talk about self injury online if I knew that information might be used to single me out?  Not sure.

Your thoughts?

EDIT:  The '1' superscript above the post should take you to the article.",7.6739461358313825,11.69724986065574,7.152833723653398,59.3014754098361,70.88524590163935,8.731615925058549,28.386416861826696,9.23628265651192,3.2857170960187365,641,24,89,16,14,200,88,122,0.145,0.779,0.076,-0.9047,2,0,0,0,0,2,43.0,1,4,0,0,1,3,0,0,6,0,12,0,0,1,2,23,23,5,3,4,4,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,11,3,0,1,9,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,0,11,3,15,12,4,7,0,0,0,0,12,4,0,5,1,64,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454080380048708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1651475169767479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15519424957981598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3168431364345994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14010870182759866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4578479734920474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982555322137354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4800639244636451,0.0,0.13787986103132704,0.0,0.10999448049479027,0.11758514701721598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971908787799544,0.2812168391266637,0.0,0.2322813428060085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263505843299423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15864902415008994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1039226813629679,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wolfsaint28,2018/01/04,"I can’t stop tearing up I’m diagnosed bipolar 2, and I’ve been on 200 mg of lamictal for about 6 months maybe, and I was only on 100 for a while and I definitely see a marked improvement.. but I am consistently tearing up, maybe every hour or so, and it could be for a simple thought about a flower or a cat or it could be an existential dread thought about how I’ve put my notice into vacate my apartment and where am I going to find a new place to live, or what if I apply and they deny me or what if my girlfriend leaves me. It’s so maddening, I’ve never really been a crier until my diagnosis, in fact I was known for not crying but I never felt blocked up or anything. I’m not sure if it’s a me thing, or I’m cycling all day, or anything. It’s just alarming and very perturbing. Has this happened to anyone else. I guess I just feel really scared all the time, and that’s triggering it? I guess what I’m asking is does anyone else feel like they’re on the verge of crying about 8 times a day but then it goes away if you make it? Sorry for ramble, please tell me if this is formatted wrong or unacceptable for this sub. Thank you again.",3.0910983646570642,3.8748944730290487,4.823470832316328,85.73052965584577,73.149377593361,7.994239687576274,24.549914571637782,8.313332769828598,1.291820405174518,892,25,197,14,17,304,130,241,0.136,0.7809999999999999,0.083,-0.9278,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,1,0,11,7,0,3,12,0,14,2,0,3,6,53,31,31,0,7,21,0,3,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,16,9,0,2,8,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,7,4,22,3,25,20,2,29,0,0,1,0,6,13,0,16,15,129,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17364328352896008,0.25445101245505897,0.2043605196781476,0.0,0.11608097250087987,0.0,0.11666058057466056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1982772057217337,0.0,0.2727869718007879,0.16015707792935582,0.0,0.0,0.1260286162735433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10866086570058094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074540309246168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461748469050418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255668506499422,0.08870614374106818,0.11922142378334295,0.0,0.1134879418478177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056793340116735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735716428296786,0.0,0.1098019709045589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12228115713898148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314767242377764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06066255457802582,0.0,0.10964323654465263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288357110965462,0.0,0.249488296133637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09911027131155603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915331116415096,0.11992290373231144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14136688737839928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443589123435926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972986302896072,0.136299944902934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12482383863395034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15909129685661524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431452961574148,0.0,0.09894637733491604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389966932619242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10381059269789968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702752981335506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10852891632998868,0.114317855919253,0.0,0.0,0.082492166578432,0.0,0.0,0.1971521552675492,0.1448075344467288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245218109515183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357589805867785,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,playingtricksonme,2018/01/04,"No sleep I didn’t get any sleep last night for no reason. I missed two meetings this morning to try and rest but I couldn’t fall asleep. I just can’t afford to go hypomanic right now with starting work again. I have one important meeting in an hour and then I’ll try and rest again. 

Any tips to stop this in its track!?",1.0006396588486126,3.1354891492537327,1.8801705756929648,98.63044776119403,82.88059701492537,5.0226012793176995,18.526652452025584,6.18269132825596,-0.4151049040511725,251,6,59,2,7,78,48,67,0.125,0.84,0.035,-0.5707,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,1,0,4,3,3,1,0,9,8,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,5,1,0,2,1,0,5,0,7,6,2,14,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,9,35,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34281316506184645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316887485691189,0.0,0.143249115731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24822418322984066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20545911264903052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365372869055071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17079952852173222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591553349304334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152542699239948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5044756491509975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784063875360549,0.0,0.0,0.2107299291726055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34225867599962223,0.0,0.2462218845205329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18349961919851884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,scepticferret,2018/01/04,"Spiritual feelings I always seem to get a feeling that I am part of some kind of energy that runs through the universe either during a phsycotic episode or just after. Has happened all three times the same feeling. It feels really intense and I get some kind of idea that I should be doing something about it (non-violent, always makes me feel connected to nature and really compassionate). I feel like I am important and protected by it. Then the stage passes and I almost completely forget about it.

Does anyone else get the same? Not similar but the exact same? I wouldn't want to use meds to suppress this if we are just waking up.",4.5869747899159625,6.763999840336139,5.412344537815128,77.45397899159667,71.60504201680672,8.45747899159664,27.866386554621855,9.120678840339163,2.6109825210084034,507,19,86,11,10,165,81,119,0.025,0.878,0.097,0.6126,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,7,0,8,1,1,2,2,35,22,8,0,4,7,0,6,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,2,8,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,6,10,4,13,19,8,7,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,6,4,66,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17166465922094082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852907704925835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986943208487925,0.1756526237959762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797434778111989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15002153837073293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14320966734371518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5200878526436683,0.12247125090684105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686988629122209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15159699386742795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935261707076856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35704066563710096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837531497712458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443237418882392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904226099413392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18564444695173365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196478091900271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15606550384060147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197694006411795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996353767893368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14806244259485296,0.0,0.0,0.10111519695097834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gnome_alert,2018/01/04,"I am an idiot, oh math (X-post from r/bipolar) I will run out of lithium (good on my other prescriptions) in less than a week and my pdoc appointment isn't till the 22nd. The only 2 pdocs I've seen and might let me pick up a prescription (appointment slots mean waiting for months) are closed until the 15th for holidays.
This happened last month, too, and I can't believe I didn't just sit down and do the math in the dr's office so I could insist on a bigger prescription. I'm honestly a little baffled by the pdoc as well.
So do I just divide them as evenly as possible and hope things work out or walk to the psych ward I was in for a month in the spring and see if they can give me a scrip? Yech.",2.0809234234234246,3.4523813716216267,3.5713513513513497,91.4247747747748,76.5,7.095495495495496,21.792792792792795,7.793537801064563,0.7202414414414409,545,14,124,8,12,180,102,148,0.024,0.897,0.079,0.743,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,2,1,7,5,1,0,15,0,13,1,0,1,0,19,21,15,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,9,0,1,1,1,0,2,3,1,1,0,3,2,13,4,23,14,1,24,0,0,2,0,3,13,0,4,8,83,16,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384727028923596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16899637963849545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980199211026031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20304727435604103,0.0,0.17753361465691675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18717366418895293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210229985327262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725343071960556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164406511853071,0.0,0.0,0.2121428072098022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23056400948888056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245419206792694,0.0,0.0,0.5068442529944149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16097991363605438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23861921414143694,0.20271548138816908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686687028605063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14062007228259624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16978399184806306,0.0,0.19031124196743135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15409382071672184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mistertrevinwhite,2018/01/04,"Amphetamines And Bipolar I have heard the EXTREMELY rare cases of someone having bipolar being prescribed Adderall. It helps with motivation, sense of well being, focus etc. 

But, I can only imagine that it could easily send one into mania. Any experiences or opinions?",6.30590909090909,9.968994136363635,7.151090909090907,59.46663636363638,73.54545454545455,8.065454545454546,33.8,8.841846274778883,4.254087272727274,218,11,24,5,5,72,39,44,0.0,0.8,0.2,0.8176,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,1,0,9,7,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,2,1,4,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,22,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706358758222133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31774974838123426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.443846059962883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3892948059109432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667534932899292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696773910836289,0.30267705829975905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372019649845059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578263000581867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Audreyjaye,2018/01/04,"Started mood stabilizers and having severe panic attacks I just started Lamictal, 25mg moving to 50mg in a couple days. After the first 2 days I was very manic; creating a lot, no sleep, the usual suspects. Then very recently—3 days ago— I started getting into a depressive episode. Yesterday I used my positive coping skills to help deal with it, felt better but then had a very sudden onset of panic attacks. Today was no different. Panic attacks after every 3 hours. I hung out with the same friend, and they didn’t really do anything to cause it, nor did anything else. 

Also, in my manic states I have quite the sexual appetite and in my depressive episodes I usually ignore the avoidance symptoms (dumb, I know) and have sex anyways. Recently however the thought of ANYONE having any type of sex (friends talking about experience, me imagining etc) has triggered panic attacks. 

I’m not sure what to do does anyone have any recommendations. ",6.653382642998028,8.366297449704144,7.288298816568048,67.8930793885602,65.62721893491124,9.657001972386588,35.38510848126233,9.928628108626363,4.06062090729783,755,36,110,17,12,249,111,169,0.267,0.67,0.063,-0.99,2,1,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,4,4,18,5,5,10,0,13,4,1,3,1,24,22,9,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,8,0,2,5,0,0,1,5,13,0,1,7,1,13,4,17,15,3,25,0,2,0,2,6,5,1,1,18,74,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863285530931095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995994007377373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359898105770367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13982712147021625,0.0,0.16456232932261455,0.0,0.0,0.4550007068774241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843078788146752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027146699321633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063422883620087,0.0,0.19345093056427967,0.10308268654448303,0.1722381151258019,0.0,0.0,0.10446562024980176,0.0,0.0,0.0874997049041634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352669735349859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11151245457820863,0.0,0.0,0.08424375214770635,0.0,0.0,0.09780692739574368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09600364705396362,0.0,0.0,0.0850492871159919,0.0,0.0,0.15450013570456678,0.0,0.052239323918060965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701949051110034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846751262302256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05495049616671992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500576762278879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10627085212114518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4692549892676609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634897731006183,0.0,0.0,0.06405453075504103,0.0,0.09872555965032792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129573757680036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005967529921893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21231492824131654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09423700297536836,0.10392526122052803,0.0,0.08036613734911494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937887893634796,0.0,0.0,0.09477642611145116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08635706695943793,0.2202441343554445,0.2475003918333157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,gpeach19,2018/01/04,Bipolar and weed? Does anyone else experience heightened mania after smoking weed? ,8.6525,13.077125916666667,7.400000000000002,52.69500000000002,81.5,5.7333333333333325,39.333333333333336,7.1686216300943375,4.701533333333335,69,4,5,1,2,21,11,12,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3514051812025935,0.5149373031986046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4397980782801199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4198286270952433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4916050717913283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DominionsFive,2018/01/05,"I had two beers last night and lost my damn mind Guess alcohol is one of my triggers. No huge loss, right? I felt so out of control, like I could do anything and damn the consequences, like the world can't touch me. Today I feel like a straight up addict coming down. Started lithium recently.",2.3252631578947347,4.810460035087719,2.8132456140350897,91.81355263157896,80.22807017543859,5.905263157894738,25.28947368421053,7.1686216300943375,1.1407684210526314,230,9,46,3,6,71,47,57,0.188,0.632,0.18,-0.128,0,0,2,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,1,7,2,0,3,0,5,3,0,2,0,11,11,3,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,2,1,2,1,0,1,2,4,0,2,3,3,7,3,5,7,0,13,0,2,0,0,0,7,2,1,8,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25030688387013955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453813908433693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889480257984552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19778717640753032,0.0,0.0,0.2575251762779913,0.1833235041727182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609683011866526,0.1640321796251634,0.22045992731102287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529393735566783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18716136909472755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33652497885974003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25064452807226456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318388784710205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21547178846630707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558849245819614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267104466564404,0.0,0.0,0.19608419087879767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16251790108492964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176417735420438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2242938967942841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,StellaZaFella,2018/01/05,"Do you give in or abstain during periods of hyper sexuality? When I'm having hypersexuality problems, I tend to indulge my urges, but I wonder if that can make it worse/if I should try to ignore them. 

I'm not doing anything unsafe or irresponsible, but I wonder if it increases those kinds of feelings if they are always being honored. 

If I should calm myself, what tips do you have to do that? ",5.5677631578947375,6.468366565789478,7.572210526315793,67.84647368421055,67.55263157894737,8.71157894736842,29.673684210526318,8.841846274778883,2.4932821052631566,313,11,54,5,5,111,53,76,0.116,0.7829999999999999,0.101,0.1431,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,2,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,11,0,0,1,0,18,19,9,0,7,9,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,11,3,6,16,1,4,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,8,2,44,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610962352659876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582202754662329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586603264432905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010134453479988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267612670180396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20945551124323816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002521425902697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130410319439401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6805780517806311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,almightytata,2018/01/05,Tips for the new semester? Spring semester of my sophomore year of college is starting soon. I need to figure out how to get a better handle on my life despite being bipolar. Does anyone have any advice for me? ,3.234250000000003,5.788845925000004,4.535,80.36,77.25,6.0,27.5,7.1686216300943375,1.827,167,7,27,2,4,55,35,40,0.0,0.919,0.081,0.504,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,3,2,0,1,0,4,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,8,5,0,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,19,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3796690020289156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26421510304460405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716706284898818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3436250059217722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34000699684083263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20299194907947912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744316623332565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880915764250826,0.0,0.37524665469545865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750049698829405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502018881470117
bipolarreddit,Denvertoad,2018/01/05,"Three strikes and out Had total of four treatments. Recovery from each was progressively worse. Paranoia, anxiety, extreme memory loss to the point I couldn't recognize wife or children. Ended up in locked room as the paranoid me became the angry me. I knew something was wrongs, I literally felt short circuited, and lashed out at staff, doctors and family. My first, and really only memory of this time, was ripping plumbing off the sink as I prepared to combat staff⁦ as I wanted the hell out of the nightmare I was living. As crazy as it sounds that was a beginning of my recovery. Today I'm stable but have lost big chunks of memories. Events one normally would never forget. Getting married, birth of children, pa#ing of family members much less the little events of life that connect so much of who we are. I thank God I had an advocate in my wife that was able to say enough. The docs kept saying just one more, just one more. Today I'm stable and my BP is under control through meds. Don't take this treatment lightly. It can have ramifications far and long that aren't always positive. Best of luck, T. 
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bipolarreddit,sarky,2018/01/05,"Trying to get pregnant, off my meds, and falling apart. I need advice from bipolar moms please. Hi everyone. Like the title says, I'm off my meds because I'm trying to get pregnant. I thought I could handle it, but I'm cycling pretty bad right now. Luckily, I'm not suicidal, but it took everything I had to get out of bed this morning. In the past two weeks I've been delusional, anxious, depressed, energetic. All over the place. I was diagnosed in 2011 and have been on meds consistantly ever since, but my meds were deemed too risky for a pregnancy. Now that I'm in this emotional state, I'm questioning my capability to be a mother in the first place. I babysat my 2 year old nephew yesterday and it took every last drop of my energy. I came home so drained I could barely move. I'm assuming it was also compounded with my current mental fluctuations. But it'll only be more of that if I do have kids. Is it possible to find a balance with kids? Will there be time for myself and time for them? Yes, I will be getting back on my meds as soon as possible after the baby comes (if the baby comes), but will it be enough? I'm not even pregnant yet and I feel it might already be too much. I'm sorry for the word vomit, I can barely think straight right now.

I just want advice from other mothers. How did you do it? How did you survive being off your meds throughout your pregnancy?

P.S. I do have an appointment with my therapist at the end of the month (she's on vacation).",2.5180158730158766,4.581411459183677,4.109047619047619,84.99706349206352,77.26530612244899,7.48480725623583,25.514739229024944,8.401726058763845,1.7870848072562358,1155,43,231,23,27,385,162,294,0.083,0.8059999999999999,0.111,0.8515,1,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,4,1,2,16,3,0,0,13,1,30,3,0,2,2,38,53,18,1,6,10,4,1,1,0,5,3,1,2,2,14,12,0,0,6,0,0,7,2,2,0,2,12,2,30,1,34,27,4,48,0,1,0,0,15,19,0,5,21,156,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17991338040589053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101586799299211,0.07361766749253322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399780843314432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707858793654737,0.07686345518849727,0.056116877683421315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052882802059155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15859730058989166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14699948411501712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928825532618684,0.09343555911283258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10355133759411728,0.08153486554302421,0.095119124832242,0.0,0.06080254725699081,0.0832705077189025,0.07756169562172274,0.08796407138363285,0.08273457864057304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04654660680813105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413810777784039,0.07830333706610275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19238319461902265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923403229640672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503845409060106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044974227852412216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6135250940037871,0.0,0.09277144840526427,0.09765755506909377,0.0,0.10781563257959097,0.07347873750926656,0.09784164730969648,0.06767222785257013,0.06825883744013303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965979656229676,0.0,0.0,0.0700132284135323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787848616225243,0.0,0.0,0.1923592060938421,0.10105055451384318,0.0,0.20756007586526967,0.0,0.09365470514645698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312451299760618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15723174740941576,0.0,0.0732071407226305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615020983634052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10304987973187114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069503061899313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068848626441098,0.0,0.058986182429919924,0.0,0.07308269503547064,0.10735794254388877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20455664444571656,0.12500084135951192,0.0,0.08992596794310387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05429739561360492,0.0,0.07384228959828071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05928146258966525
bipolarreddit,burntupquestions,2018/01/05,"Wondering If I’m Bipolar... So, for as long as I can remember, I’ve had issues with mental health. It didn’t get bad until around 12, when I started self-harming, and eventually I was hospitalized at 14 after a suicide attempt. There, I was put on Zoloft for depression and also diagnosed with anxiety. For a few months, I felt happy so I figured it was working. I stopped cutting, I felt good. Eventually, I just stopped taking it without a doctor’s consent, but I took myself off of it slowly. I started cutting again after that. 

That’s my only experience with doctors/psychologists since and I’m 19, turning 20 in 5 months. 

I had my first hallucination when I was 16, but the timeline is so bad and foggy because my brain literally can’t remember anything besides the event itself - I was in the shower and just like flicking a switch, I thought somebody was in the bathroom with me, trying to “get” me. Immediately, I opened the curtains to find nothing but still wasn’t convinced. I went to my room, thinking something was following me from behind the entire time and closed my door, psychotically looking around for whatever was there trying to get me. For about 3 hours, I sat in the corner of my room, looking back and forth between things that would just escape my direct line of sight - it was like I could only see the “things” trying to get me in the corner of my eye. I wouldn’t move off my bed in fear that it was under my bed, and would snatch me that way. It felt so real at the time. I forgot it even happened the next day and didn’t remember it until months later, when it randomly popped into my mind, but I couldn’t place it along a coherent timeline - only that it had happened sometime that same year. 

A few months after I remembered the event, I was in class and out of nowhere (just like last time) I thought somebody (who, in my head, looked similar to the girl from the ring/exorcist) was inside the room with me. I started darting my eyes everywhere making sure that she wasn’t - it felt real but apart of me knew it wasn’t but that didn’t help it go away. All throughout the day I continued feeling like she was right behind a closed door, or peaking out at me from somewhere. On the bus ride home, I was convinced she was somehow following me, in vans, in cars, buildings - this thing that was following me didn’t adhere to the normal rules of transportation, she could transport between buildings just to keep an eye on me. It happened about three or four times, varying on levels of intensity for about two weeks and that was the last time I’ve had delusions or hallucinations (if that’s even what they are). 

Now fast forward to 2017, where after smoking weed one night I get put into this semi-catatonic state where I felt unreal, like a joke and like where I lived and the people around me were fake too. All kinds of memories of my childhood were playing on fast-forward on my head, except I was outside looking at my younger self and it was terrifying, I was convinced that I was actually going to die. Now, this experience is drug-induced but after this first time, I began having experiences like this without being high and the thoughts couldn’t leave my mind - I felt unreal, fake all the time, and occasionally I wouldn’t be able to view the world around me as real, or the people. This happened between July 2017 - December 2017, and it’s just starting to subside after I quit weed a few days ago. But, while it was happening, it left me in a severe depression. 

Now, since the new year, I have been energetic and positive - I feel better about my body (which, all throughout my life I have struggled with) and have positive thoughts about it. And not just “I love my body!” its more like “I can 100% fix my body and make it how I want it!” I didn’t sleep for 40 hours straight albeit a 2.5 hour nap before my shift. During work, I was talkative (which I NEVER am) and had something to say to about 99% of the customers. It was almost as if when the thought popped in my head, no matter what it was, I had to say it. Nothing inappropriate, mostly just about the products or casual talk or responses but it was so natural. My answers are NEVER natural because I have social anxiety - I’m always rethinking it before I say it. But not this time. I bagged their groceries so fast, I couldn’t stop singing songs in my head, occasionally singing them out-loud in front of customers and not feeling embarrassed (like casual singing when you have a song stuck in your head, except it was a few different songs) When I wasn’t with a customer, I couldn’t not be moving, my hands, my legs etc.

Once I got home, I became obsessed with watching and rewatching and tweeting about my favorite show. I had so many thoughts about the show and my favorite characters that I just had to put them out there. I think I tweeted about 500-600 times within 6 hours. On top of that, I was also writing some characters for a TV show I’m writing and usually I’m a little stunted w/ writing because I’m usually depressed but it was like I could write for ages. I wrote like 10 characters within an hour. 

This has been going on since the New Year, and I’ve gotten a total of... less than 20 hours of sleep within 5 days. And now I just got the idea that I want to finally get my license so I can get a car and runaway. I know, logically, the plan seems bad but it’s like I have no intention of doing anything else? Like all of my effort is going into that plan. 

And lastly, on top of all this, I haven’t eaten one meal since the new year and I don’t feel hungry at all. No desire to eat really, albeit a few snacks here and there. 

I’ve had past experiences with being energetic, so I always speculated whether I was bipolar but never like this. 90% of the time, I have been depressed

So, sorry this was long but please, how do I know if this is really bipolar? Since these symptoms started, I’ve also become obsessed with researching hypomania/mania and the thought will not leave my brain. So am I just making the symptoms up or am I actually bipolar?????",5.448748229963184,6.073049318606628,6.0699072217502135,79.4959013310677,67.70858113848769,8.792201642594168,31.156374964599266,8.803633496244426,2.4428420708014733,4756,182,910,74,75,1550,426,1177,0.08199999999999999,0.802,0.116,0.9906,3,0,3,0,0,1,164.0,0,2,4,12,66,43,2,5,57,0,96,33,17,6,12,193,175,89,2,19,46,0,11,14,0,5,11,6,11,2,72,58,4,5,34,15,0,21,31,16,0,7,79,28,134,27,139,80,19,180,0,4,11,1,25,70,0,18,103,648,206,5,0.04003971531166881,0.0,0.07814597269163473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03549279176561425,0.0,0.04009399115974258,0.0,0.0,0.09605923760637254,0.06663250130805289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061260545239812926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06589854819331785,0.14257534215995693,0.0,0.0,0.0376186305621426,0.03078806957054488,0.10029446947565276,0.07322351645637584,0.04422071980107053,0.0681416973317005,0.0,0.0,0.035411874400219326,0.0,0.13342529221073046,0.0,0.08939512843342641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590536384524014,0.0,0.0,0.10328921589209657,0.0,0.13794459250868307,0.040639468211957804,0.04155490303771475,0.041832980481702316,0.0,0.04098234524950148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04643335799323984,0.04097062468972298,0.033448044358848225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044654866593258666,0.052891708679617074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15666609837523787,0.0,0.04505581142909959,0.08098113248165885,0.028604380618969607,0.2306664345902825,0.04386155099811054,0.03659557441426183,0.06811552277961487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464336907042871,0.0,0.09102197170889134,0.03358341353200175,0.06404683606469032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17703494008459125,0.042623021484752346,0.0,0.0,0.2054614968395964,0.04256034503480553,0.0,0.0,0.02683777717243597,0.04230415755969323,0.08032619819288328,0.0,0.2365863251732426,0.0,0.0,0.04519996493597592,0.0,0.041791060140760894,0.0,0.035589138682802016,0.0,0.04169520201970689,0.04400956081255095,0.0979131360258734,0.0,0.08479255447312438,0.04350326784075402,0.0,0.028281235039690492,0.27385935383996685,0.040130313552926566,0.03535580218179368,0.0708677761489309,0.13449310640726822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03613740632363791,0.0,0.08018046265207125,0.04059398684421335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04035061559261563,0.0,0.08085739684998719,0.0,0.12783727504243125,0.08511176159060188,0.0,0.0,0.09264329045553264,0.11601181965380455,0.042582691474626296,0.03757456045530013,0.039230419768924406,0.07683837343727967,0.0,0.0,0.04264099005198368,0.05426389466232751,0.0913560232595914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03822243885321107,0.05551699425358053,0.0,0.041832980481702316,0.04395158371136698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075291879540892,0.0,0.04258716581993646,0.0,0.13672188550177666,0.051300933808322784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18142876868838864,0.034193698102877534,0.0,0.09552356607700953,0.0,0.0,0.03190646914398315,0.036450653033204765,0.08354031081501477,0.045233481450335566,0.0,0.16560633132406902,0.0,0.08013726303043013,0.040815447439999264,0.0,0.06164905802085011,0.03960030225610997,0.04482118319163866,0.1417015829044145,0.0,0.03197576836930748,0.1004249845809764,0.0,0.041858203997989986,0.0,0.043796949842200505,0.0,0.03773695783068104,0.08323319028400472,0.030104882910321987,0.0321824064900597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07980182312221766,0.051311665677746116,0.0,0.2225094303450488,0.233474799890952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044485596963451585,0.08155301526204774,0.043551712565407616,0.03911298386131652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819617929486437,0.0,0.04723292296814938,0.031781662319062036,0.032117444464624195,0.0,0.0,0.03711721723465921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07719371347975165,0.04342136327560106,0.05829877923520541,0.0,0.0,0.05688612992371068,0.0,0.0,0.10313705562832932
bipolarreddit,cat-pants,2018/01/05,"Is it a trick of depression to not care about getting better? I just don’t care. I used to want to get better, but right now I don’t care. I could just eat and sleep and drink beer and read books and that’s it. Go on forever, never seeing friends, never accomplishing anything.

Is this a trick, or am I just fucked up and weird?",1.829901960784316,3.5515265000000014,3.0594117647058816,93.31401960784315,78.11764705882355,6.298039215686276,20.15686274509804,7.1686216300943375,0.2289039215686275,254,6,58,3,6,82,46,68,0.317,0.616,0.068,-0.9559,0,0,2,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,3,5,11,3,0,2,0,6,5,1,1,2,16,16,7,0,2,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,3,0,0,4,0,1,5,5,0,0,0,1,5,6,7,15,0,7,0,1,1,1,1,3,1,1,3,38,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606056563461596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452183689273866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5969567136826484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15582481789327093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16809688852528526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19118917421710127,0.0,0.19970437132854346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150785394218364,0.18042857209918453,0.20393320730145625,0.0,0.11091779643872644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010493529342521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19521962613344904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16667139041075085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15552268021217247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19530775835957093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16856146210667194,0.0,0.0,0.11511444185680013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,grey_unknown,2018/01/06,"If I grew up an attention-seeking class clown ... would that make me more or less likely to be BPD? I keep the idea of borderline personality disorder (BPD) in the back of my mind, just in case my bipolar keeps worsening.

If that doesn’t make sense to you, then you know what I recently realized ... I have no idea how much BP and BPD truly differ **in the details.**

I keep seeing BPD as a variation of bipolar ... maybe the “bipolar type 3” or something. But, it’s understandable. I live in the world of bipolar, and still haven’t gotten my meds right. 

So, I am one of those that sees bipolar in everyone ... even someone that coughs wrong.

*kidding haha*

So, here are my 2 best possibilities I thought of:

(1) How can we truly tell if BPD is just bipolar with more dysphoric mania?

(2) Or, how can we tell if it’s BPD or just strong attention-seeking ADHD and bipolar, especially since ADHD is a common comorbidity to accompany bipolar?

I have a bunch of other ideas, but I want to chat with people I comment, if anyone is free?

I read different parts in DSM-5 ... but, like many of you, I kind of felt an overcomplication to create enough various “symptoms,” using different language, but still being the same? That’s a weird subject I’m still trying to learn and figure out. ",1.9169566461582512,4.597463892116185,3.7597481757046793,82.90871369294608,84.35269709543569,6.643640005723277,24.49291744169409,7.873277556716777,1.722580941479468,982,39,184,20,29,329,138,241,0.04,0.8690000000000001,0.09,0.9163,2,0,1,0,0,0,57.0,2,3,0,2,14,9,0,0,12,1,14,10,0,6,0,48,29,24,0,7,16,0,1,2,0,1,10,0,0,2,10,9,0,3,10,2,1,1,3,2,0,1,3,3,23,8,26,23,10,18,0,0,2,0,11,10,0,9,9,129,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20757491237759287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06038463981671161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06640520122975678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906290715396793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6526013532186393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706822018083513,0.09897558268432738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923255149054847,0.0,0.05703970088491464,0.0,0.0,0.0825202980252577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829187583566056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2924684277727171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23028113962229466,0.0,0.08993023333567178,0.047460977296650685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438187608781937,0.0,0.07625710839524817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529140630065512,0.087555079052018,0.08675982505250299,0.0,0.0959260464846768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719857697532601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348424217511023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05851949951434403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09351903039980396,0.0,0.05987087249223435,0.07540587109551693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735747248355583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863829694704553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526968584500476,0.0,0.0,0.07375062597245359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13763483931218942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143755298654765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317220827024143,0.06648383871745049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069006627558796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976069021053196,0.0,0.0,0.1509641925468753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06855987541224914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058632499156435,0.0,0.0,0.08990338854404409,0.0,0.07458696609275542,0.0,0.0,0.05093712918867571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06134738159062893,0.09442066491733146,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,conntn1,2018/01/06,"Bipolar help I was on abilify for months, stopped it because I was about to cancel my costly insurance and abilify wasn't really doing anything-felt the same-  and the ex cost about $600 a month out of pocket. Now I'm in bed for days, haven't showered for weeks this time longer than usual and by the way does anyone have a problem with not showering? What is up with that? The family is in my face about not getting out of bed my dad says he is more depressed than me but gets out of bed. And last night I relapsed and took some of my sisters narc for her wisdom teeth extraction . The mom found out, told the Dad and they are so pissed that their middle age daughter that is here with them because of a longer sad story is pulling this pathetic shit and that i owe them to get better already. I'm just starting a new job and need to snap out of my manic stage? Any advice???",4.892313585291113,5.130416556179775,5.238886618998979,86.323937691522,68.8314606741573,8.270480081716038,27.979570990806952,8.00094639256281,1.5666674157303375,689,21,145,8,11,219,113,178,0.16399999999999998,0.7829999999999999,0.053,-0.9706,4,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,4,1,7,7,2,0,10,0,12,5,4,0,0,26,23,10,0,2,4,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,0,8,16,0,1,1,0,3,2,4,5,0,0,6,1,15,2,31,17,3,27,0,2,0,0,15,10,2,1,13,94,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773675826348923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20029866570976948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343170991631623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12691466090371642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212912662142497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16052913539832125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11705768759748357,0.0,0.1563326323680531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15883893282395234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17110965201213282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17427620883934405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990142271627898,0.0,0.0,0.28449142102860125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12166103146116618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18011874960522642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14795330037913618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21258005466576935,0.2897560152042075,0.0,0.0,0.1345859319958404,0.0,0.17530162241186786,0.0,0.17033302543352305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17367870717166442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627871566896722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1443425002886581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863154227054183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847234422631024,0.0,0.0,0.15174887162589767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583881367081337,0.0,0.0,0.17343873662803172,0.2016621412781482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19990549282463585,0.0,0.0,0.1440726552890077,0.1455948231612893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Eiiisdead,2018/01/06,"Advice needed: Depressive episodes fixed with Lamictal; manic episodes are not. Is this a common experience? My psych did say Lamictal is not a strong anti-manic. I am worried by my current state, as I have received all the ""warning signs"" in terms of others expressing concern, intrusive and distressing visions, confusion between dreams and reality, a total loss of interest in eating and sleeping, paranoia, and thought fixations.

I could really really really do without having an episode about now or really in the next few months, I know timing is not something controllable, but I would really like some help coming down.

I plan to call my psych and arrange another appointment, but I'm not exactly sure what they could do to help.
Is this a case of adding in another medication? In which case anyone on a Lamictal combo that they get on with?

UK, NHS care if that's relevant.",7.685769230769233,8.9126703974359,8.118358974358976,64.6433076923077,62.97435897435898,12.393846153846154,38.03589743589743,11.979248473330829,5.398255897435896,706,35,106,24,10,233,106,156,0.098,0.77,0.133,0.894,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,2,4,2,9,0,2,8,0,14,3,1,1,4,31,21,10,0,5,9,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,7,8,1,1,2,1,0,2,5,4,0,0,2,1,11,5,20,16,5,18,0,2,0,0,8,8,0,4,8,78,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15857593831111036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34032473842656713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11346837533255105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16570372559484484,0.0,0.16545298047614646,0.0,0.0,0.1397879118157454,0.0,0.0,0.18200829439876448,0.25913115602851283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397695875319045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16605065003752392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15873877730119382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847834261497808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175427091382894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918360698833948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928071125587544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634777597565481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12952855113011072,0.0,0.0,0.12032689476096632,0.0,0.0,0.17258422719345734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5197964072378892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12904977945469745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16239494417287745,0.0,0.0,0.12492933944855115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529448580703489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12883040620335146,0.09462546051683236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15642995925979133,0.0,0.0,0.1648009313840143,0.0,0.11527745700104755,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,overdramaticteen,2018/01/06,"Can you be manic with low self-esteem? (tw suicide) Hey everyone,

I just spent a night in a psychiatric assessment unit. Before admitting myself, I hadn’t slept in 90 hours, not because I couldn’t, but because I didn’t feel like I should. I wanted to keep “being productive” which is interesting because I was also too anxious to do things that I actually need to do (reply to emails and texts, do work, self-care and hygiene). This resulted in three terrible nights of organizing parts of my room, drinking, cutting, exercising, writing, and beating my Tetris high score. I created more art and wrote more than I ever have in such short period of time. I kept making plans with friends, setting goals, etc while fully conscious that I would be too emotionally drained to do any of them the next day, which just lead to disappointment. The whole time I was awake, I was surging with adrenaline and didn’t feel tired. I wasn’t getting hallucinations or feeling sluggish like most people report after not sleeping for 3 days. This was especially strange because I usually feel tired after a normal 8 hours of sleep due to low iron, plus I was only eating ~500 cal a day. Instead, I felt alert and was able to do math homework, write, go to work, etc. One weird thing was that my train of thought was totally off..one second I would think “I’m getting out of the bath in two minutes” and immediately follow that with “what am I doing in two minutes?” or I’d be surfing reddit, see a recommended website, open a new tab, then forget what I was doing. 

The second night I was awake, I had this really strong urge to kill myself for about two hours (very different from my normal passive “I want to die” thoughts; this was like a primal irrational urge) and I then spent the rest of the day totally out of it, like my brain was in a different place. I immediately forgot the details of those two hours after they happened so I can’t even really describe it in detail. 

This whole not-sleeping episode came right after a few months of feeling extremely depressed, unable to perform basic activities or care for myself, too anxious to go out or go to classes.

Anyways, all that to say that I met with a psychiatrist while I was in the unit, and she was considering the possibility of bipolar disorder (I am already diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and depression). Bipolar disorder is not something I have ever considered before. She was worried about putting me back on antidepressants in case it triggered more mania. What held her back was that generally you should feel an inflated self-esteem during manic episodes, but I didn’t feel that at all. I hated myself and felt more suicidal than ever before. 

So my question is: is anyone here bipolar and feels low self-esteem during manic episodes? Is this possible? As a 17 year old going off to uni next year, GAD and depression are already enough to deal with…I truly hope I do not have BD. But if I do I’d like to figure it out ASAP so I can start getting it under control. Thanks for any help!",7.710811544991515,7.491747989473687,7.914651952461803,71.06788624787778,62.96491228070175,10.723259762309,36.10639501980758,10.237710317436264,3.7117787209960382,2414,101,421,48,31,789,281,570,0.16399999999999998,0.735,0.101,-0.9923,2,0,2,0,0,3,75.0,0,2,2,9,21,23,3,0,21,0,54,13,4,5,7,91,98,31,4,12,14,0,10,5,1,4,7,1,3,0,27,26,2,5,17,4,2,8,11,12,0,8,35,12,54,11,69,54,17,73,0,7,1,0,19,27,0,8,42,298,81,8,0.06298583383733564,0.0,0.06146508800947724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901286776295424,0.05036974856356232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856650537713257,0.0,0.04818399048575328,0.14231212806274546,0.0,0.044041159512646685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686443667482936,0.0,0.15358231877546538,0.0,0.160788916409117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07031302122837693,0.0,0.07203901429231997,0.06421825538293764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07064396844273146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624826085482257,0.06493562898761025,0.1627488191701523,0.06392929550350923,0.06536935134244856,0.1316135810173016,0.2165616672429625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06170213820320911,0.0,0.06445023244625007,0.0,0.0708505854055383,0.0,0.06508120352865124,0.14049170856375667,0.04160154921601357,0.17092287813873114,0.0,0.06018566343018444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547802408056851,0.04499709227855726,0.12095255596318776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04866269897960922,0.0,0.09872249560675668,0.0,0.14318520351547293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05569816484844527,0.0,0.0,0.06218547091691279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042218076736770825,0.06654799161138812,0.0,0.06255914489670583,0.24811343519892495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0559847031388754,0.06968449301334904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15385848437782482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04204353317943682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050274691649054785,0.0,0.0,0.046703197699781734,0.0,0.060832110809672074,0.13397229768942398,0.1773238148368206,0.12342548800362152,0.0,0.0,0.06609303725459674,0.0,0.04268083109437064,0.04790356488366824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0682075201211346,0.0,0.04366644652672231,0.0,0.0658067905086508,0.0,0.0,0.14201412771231772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331815981056163,0.07055854888306645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070067600129745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05378955794833545,0.0,0.050088863133706654,0.0,0.0,0.05019155476495918,0.0,0.2628318455691131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890939643597765,0.0,0.0,0.048489572097405724,0.0,0.0,0.04458169737637379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13779255840707874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057988893383761675,0.0,0.0,0.08368997851203681,0.040358779066463,0.0,0.10000743296186414,0.07345509245841728,0.14478590081111045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24611202983786595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936999740024698,0.05196990932595008,0.07430135340788806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14064286825116554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170887438248164,0.06396517166694624,0.0,0.08948665841237198,0.0,0.0,0.08112162383912865
bipolarreddit,TankMarvin,2018/01/06,"How long did it take to be diagnosed (uk) I am starting to write a mood diary before I go to my GP and beg to be looked at.

I have throughout my life had what I think is bipolar. I'll have wonderful drive for a month or two and then over a day (sometimws) I'll go into a deep depression for months.  It just happens and then I'll go back to feeling like I can take on the world etc. Rinse and repeat.

During my highs I have enrolled on courses (which I've paid for £1k+) and I'll do them and then I'll get into my depressive episode and that's the end of the course. I am hard to live with during my lows and fun (but irritable) when I am high.

I should add though I do have some reprieve sometimes I just feel ""fine but that's few and far between.",0.7748148148148175,2.438360679012348,2.5343456790123464,96.12855555555558,81.09876543209877,5.554567901234568,21.29382716049383,6.42735559955562,0.08329086419753072,578,17,139,5,15,191,98,162,0.047,0.892,0.062,0.2846,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,0,6,7,0,0,7,0,16,3,0,1,0,26,30,18,0,1,5,0,3,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,13,0,0,4,0,1,4,0,3,0,1,3,4,17,3,18,24,3,28,0,3,1,0,2,12,0,3,13,89,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13739737236120378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15204737244333832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152367382461712,0.0,0.3078014439765769,0.1813610344645213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15826145527690885,0.0,0.19928048164876397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180696532277219,0.1276522623823801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335529085763056,0.0,0.30465160485172715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15801013784259485,0.0,0.1600662397148066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3775800282208688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262101663334103,0.08729623459208617,0.0,0.15778171172344124,0.15813018425261358,0.1500500005262866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28524857072316423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17672356697233044,0.0,0.12647382848008332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686970547238988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449383046645673,0.17555664135900909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17454881980948933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19377574825660865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,emptypackages,2018/01/06,"Could I be bipolar? For years I've been dealing with what feels like cycles of depression. I'll descend into a deep depression over the course of 2-3 weeks and then immediately feel great (but not manic) for a few days before the cycle starts again. In the past year the depressions have gotten worse to the point of me attempting suicide twice and self-harming frequently. 

I now see a therapist and psychiatrist and they've put me on lamictal, wellbutrin, and abilify. I've tried several meds and lamictal has by far been the most helpful in keeping me emotionally stable, without significant side effects.

My psychiatrist has diagnosed me as having major depressive disorder. He claims I'm not bipolar because I haven't experienced any manic episodes, but I don't feel like MDD fully describes my symptoms.

Could I be bipolar, or do I just have recurrent depression with mood swings?",7.9034810126582276,9.083626816455702,7.973265822784812,66.03977215189875,62.48101265822786,11.636455696202535,39.21772151898736,11.407655852321104,5.078595443037977,719,37,111,21,10,233,107,158,0.138,0.792,0.07,-0.8677,1,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,0,0,0,2,3,9,0,0,9,0,14,5,0,1,0,24,22,11,1,2,7,0,3,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,9,0,1,4,0,0,1,5,5,0,1,3,5,12,3,16,15,3,20,0,5,1,0,3,9,0,2,12,70,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485318229729192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502750561119837,0.0,0.11868970856540816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22273155557486551,0.0,0.0,0.08995495718653923,0.14380078650024264,0.6006822593268751,0.14157224804221266,0.0,0.0,0.15985953351476587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568995336483607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21158029642460924,0.19929328046133585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15378043380609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349247453094804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239788459566466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13628863789084394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15493410220038442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315224908658854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185646320314026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14021888018123446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114984429038564,0.0,0.1455111265548847,0.1575760199985951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872674287118333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15257169740050716,0.0,0.0,0.14497618175973825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16195044402673778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09469976038278777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118848010144451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344565767329515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421450322561157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179644880508808
bipolarreddit,silverlinin,2018/01/06,"Do you still get depressed even when stabilised? As bipolar is a degenerative disorder as much as I hate to believe it, do you still get depression, is your memory, cognition getting worse even when you're stabilised. 

I can't even think for crap. Meds have made me crap. ",5.167200000000001,7.233169919999997,5.333000000000002,79.09150000000002,69.8,9.0,32.5,9.516144504307137,3.1934000000000005,216,10,39,5,4,68,36,50,0.363,0.637,0.0,-0.967,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,3,0,0,7,5,3,0,1,0,6,3,2,1,0,2,12,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,6,0,5,11,1,4,0,2,0,0,3,0,2,0,4,27,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25463169892415605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38931777880660096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590227925940825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.447825075980521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3542368808312285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22313442458317084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21385261949350684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510420425835517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661406303245734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3609778358333128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481570712726252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303197213130499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,codexsam94,2018/01/06,"Don’t you realize we do everything we really wanted and thought when we are manic ? Opposite when we are depressed , we do the things we don’t want to do and have to think about the things we don’t want to think about.",7.8226666666666675,5.358302933333333,7.869444444444448,78.71750000000002,64.1111111111111,12.555555555555555,33.611111111111114,11.20814326018867,3.2867777777777767,172,5,38,4,2,56,22,45,0.073,0.8690000000000001,0.058,-0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,7,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,9,0,0,0,0,16,15,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,8,0,5,14,0,2,0,1,0,0,8,0,0,0,2,30,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850632487117095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974537360047924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21202731600260935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4397624009974324,0.4241433418707358,0.0,0.2627525399028136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5856425491968329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SunChild91,2018/01/06,"X-post bipolar - they say to stop smoking bud but don’t have to deal with the suicidal thoughts I mean I get it, you’re gunna tell me that ‘in the long run it’s better’. Go ahead and tell me how to get to the long run when it feels like you’re taking on the battle of life on your own with no reprieve. I’m fucking tired and they all give a shit til it actually matters ",2.0085185185185166,2.841091765432097,3.514506172839507,93.91027777777781,75.79012345679013,6.387654320987655,23.37654320987655,6.42735559955562,0.3150395061728397,287,8,70,2,6,95,59,81,0.254,0.698,0.048,-0.9676,0,0,0,1,0,0,5.0,0,1,2,2,2,5,3,0,5,0,2,5,1,1,1,12,12,6,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,5,4,0,1,3,0,0,3,2,3,0,0,1,2,7,2,12,11,2,12,0,0,0,1,9,3,2,0,7,39,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.20861751326126965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890701957590447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22039681191643154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809311022379504,0.15272379490765708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976352854763254,0.2233814587911828,0.20507634300421854,0.1214955597582525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15099846409792753,0.10444164466209056,0.0,0.0,0.37837546123803995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232868055206981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20474123440105468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17000567976778594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21944112111757494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17872885687281082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338395812299229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16073523928240424,0.0,0.3737046220273869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697166850955321,0.0,0.2457075679924956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Massiko,2018/01/06,"I just need to put this out there I feel miserable. I'm so sad, I'm sick to my stomach. I'm at the point where I'm disgusted with my own voice. I don't know what thoughts are real anymore. I feel that there are spirits manipulating me, and that they want me to think I'm sick. I feel like meds will only allow them to take over. I feel agitated, and my seroquel is barely helping me sleep. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I have nobody to turn to. My family doesn't believe in psychiatric disorders and I'm tired of worrying my SO. I'm not suicidal but I just feel like I can't keep living like this for much too long.  I'm just tired.  I don't know anyone who's been diagnosed bipolar so it's good to read posts on here that I can relate to. Just needed to vent :/",0.4074866310160417,2.353908636363641,2.8559001782531186,91.8744385026738,83.84848484848484,6.306595365418893,20.00891265597148,7.5105763829236425,0.5219447415329768,595,17,138,10,17,205,94,165,0.16399999999999998,0.71,0.127,-0.6289,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,2,1,12,9,1,1,1,0,11,8,2,2,0,29,36,7,1,3,6,0,6,4,0,1,6,1,0,0,8,5,0,1,10,1,0,1,5,4,0,0,2,7,23,5,17,33,2,10,1,3,0,0,4,7,0,0,5,79,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376673862044036,0.0970628214903724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563972041067508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14089451472503878,0.0,0.0,0.1590942554787872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13086262446174998,0.0,0.42113484249026784,0.2975088383514459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643161095817245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304490824750694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12338533560633745,0.0,0.0,0.1525784166664353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712723964437074,0.0,0.12257637243522156,0.12284709138010245,0.0,0.15529871090481456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15419240314227306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016378895131215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10204515062767597,0.2058594365601008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10557522141806423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13122524119859288,0.0,0.13294659780232435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954762569379214,0.0,0.0,0.1388527739996329,0.15800209794081466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13891545931625893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15184130762414888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437176112594584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894718057939842,0.0,0.11020376984511926,0.0,0.319095323562407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509910852017979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187680662962528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409735826171193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,beast-freak,2018/01/07,"A Revolution in the Treatment of Depression ? — A BBC article looking at the link between depression and inflammation. You can read the article here:

* http://www.bbc.com/news/health-37166293

From the article:

>Inflammation is part of the immune system's response to danger. It is a hugely complicated process to prepare our body to fight off hostile forces.
If inflammation is too low then an infection can get out of hand. If it is too high, it causes damage.
>
>And for some reason, about one-third of depressed patients have consistently high levels of inflammation. Hayley is one of them: ""I do have raised inflammation markers, I think normal is under 0.7 and mine is 40, it's coming up regularly in blood tests.""
>
>There is now a patchwork quilt of evidence suggesting inflammation is more than something you simply find in some depressed patients, but is actually the cause of their disease. That the immune system can alter the workings of the brain.

Hopefully this might offer another treatment approach for those of us who mostly suffer from depression.

There is also a 30 minute BBC podcast on the subject [here](http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b07pj2pw)",8.470937500000005,11.225696302083332,7.286375000000002,65.62112500000003,62.54166666666666,10.12,37.27916666666667,10.355215969177356,4.678857916666667,958,47,128,24,15,291,124,192,0.138,0.813,0.049,-0.9451,0,0,1,0,1,0,54.0,2,2,2,1,7,12,3,0,16,0,18,7,4,3,0,19,23,7,0,4,3,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,4,1,0,2,0,11,0,1,0,2,9,1,29,22,5,20,0,8,1,0,10,14,0,7,2,98,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.1420290621268944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11639075741577365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15261462121504374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16166556393528592,0.0,0.16247422372249729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990256926177173,0.0,0.12537248576659174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6267802557399786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13302374858298924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07604025806048982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15470549999917102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3075485333572299,0.0,0.14455712933770826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222195406085317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543982197346487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426013276106079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19724753050691712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15760898465340728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14558247718544862,0.0,0.0,0.14964253787801546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204618216550953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325813604159243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17507041841490356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595710377286596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,coolgalgang,2018/01/07,"Lithium Stories (for anyone on lithium) I recently got prescribed to lithium and I am interested in hearing your lithium stories, related to anything. Comment Below!! :)",7.359102564102564,11.315274653846155,8.213076923076922,51.61525641025645,71.69230769230771,8.082051282051282,58.66666666666666,8.841846274778883,7.908297435897435,135,13,11,3,3,45,20,26,0.0,0.785,0.215,0.7418,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,6,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,11,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3474048431983354,0.0,0.4088602383683708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3973714957016996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5599792430399604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4905734625638511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,uhohuhohuhohuhohuh,2018/01/07,"Low grade hypomania is back...and I love it Before my GP put me on antidepressants and spiraled me into a year long crazy cycling that had me re diagnosed to BP I, my mania was a manageable, predictable state that had me making lists of frugality, cleaning like crazy, working out and eating healthy. 

I enjoyed the time, and the depression that followed was usually low-grade as well--general irritability and annoyance of friends, feeling like I no longer loved my boyfriend (which in stability, I found out I don't)

Over that last few months I have finally become stable. Until recently. My medicine has been spotty and once I felt the mania coming I stopped taking it at all.

Back on meds but still manic. I love the feeling. It isn't the crazy ""god is speaking to"" staying up all night redesigning a fish tank (why?) or hyper reorganizing that left my house a total disaster as I couldn't have the focus to follow through.

It's back to setting goals, making lists, focusing on healthy and happiness. Low-grade mania actually makes me SAVE money--I become obsessed with spending as little as I can (whereas the mania from antidepressants had me blow 20k over 4 months)

I feel like I'm enjoying living again. Stability is so... so boring. And the problem with stability is that I never learned self-discipline in the face of not having manic inspirations. It isn't depression, but my room becomes a complete mess, I don't take my dogs on walks, I don't try at work. Again, that's simply because I am so USED to feeling inspiration and energy from mania, that stability requires discipline and vigilance that I have never had to learn.

So why should I go back on meds? To me, this is worth the depression. I become ultra-functional. Functional enough that I can ride out the depressions as people become used to and aware of my energy and motivation. I understand the mania from before, the mania that had me re diagnosed as Bipolar I--that was purely induced from meds-- is unsustainable. I didn't even enjoy it. But this is something altogether different. It is ME. I don't know 'stability', that is not me. I don't even dislike it as I'm going through it, but now that I'm experiencing the energy again I don't think I can go back. 

How am I supposed to write poetry, paint, play the piano, clean, focus on my healthy--how am I supposed to do that stable when I have no knowledge of self-discipline that makes you drudge through you chores while you're tired and uninspired.

I almost feel bad for 'stable' people--to never experience the inspiration that we have. On the other hand, comparing stability to this makes it a no-brainer that this is better. Even the depression was apart of me before. Stability is a whole different person, someone that I don't particularly like.",5.872829457364342,7.272469693798452,6.853875968992249,71.45294573643413,67.17829457364341,9.996899224806203,32.35658914728682,10.190243380029422,3.5325217054263565,2206,93,377,55,36,737,227,516,0.133,0.698,0.16899999999999998,0.9602,3,0,1,0,0,0,85.0,1,2,0,6,18,30,1,1,25,0,47,10,2,10,7,69,78,32,0,3,7,0,7,4,1,1,4,1,4,1,34,20,1,3,18,1,2,9,18,12,0,0,13,9,55,18,53,63,6,61,0,6,0,3,10,23,0,2,30,263,89,9,0.0,0.0,0.0710454538174114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729019218568154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799059630920103,0.060787658905908225,0.04438017535275828,0.402027257219866,0.18585056826623586,0.0,0.0,0.06438854366088323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127248596265055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271353914557617,0.0763328050929762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31352659129055704,0.14778749883426187,0.0,0.15212776707432818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449588312759715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07522520164558158,0.0,0.1442575471348876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07121553212212732,0.0,0.0,0.184057511527502,0.10402128899257808,0.06990252114709053,0.07975238360888359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982498767598938,0.05624759753786325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12412726589759385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750039573767216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400515660819331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040010753114182535,0.05934435214888353,0.0,0.0,0.0791009261214972,0.0,0.0,0.14227192964690766,0.07296796597447386,0.06428658891984189,0.06442857058544851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19712328174694635,0.0,0.2429836181443293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24260394001972144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162216926521537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684510253528687,0.0,0.0,0.06832090273085359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753306754325416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050472595265891006,0.06356897526371658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06966286208382216,0.0,0.0731873579670319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188440994680391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518993004878335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06168594341454451,0.056047485924710684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759856003872898,0.05814075624657394,0.06086676304540824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094779421032307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04664937230467155,0.0,0.0,0.042452150870617066,0.08367660701878446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049428616556979096,0.0,0.0,0.07579073352579324,0.0,0.12575723703370692,0.08018247603994788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654588501542076,0.0,0.13138718867147275,0.08128221015111699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600324201248623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046882895369543716
bipolarreddit,mrkthmn,2018/01/07,"Place to study at night? **One sentence version:** I started a class at night school and am looking for a place to study outside of my house.

**Version with pertinent information:** I just started school to get my real estate license. I'm *really* proud of myself for taking it on, haha, but I have run into a problem. Like so many here I dont sleep well and pretty much never at night. I go to class in the evening, get out about 10:30, go to the gym, then come home. At this point I'd normally waste the rest of the night on the internet but now I have serious studying to do. I live with my parents so Im confined to my room at night for light and sound reasons. The thing is, I'm finding it *very difficult* to study there because it's not fun to do and I am surrounded by entertainment options! I do really well at the library but it's obviously closed in the middle of the night and I'm having a hard time getting up early enough to get there before class. (I've been sleeping from about 10am to about 3pm.)

I'm trying to be a big boy and just have some will power but I figured I'd see if you guys have any ideas of places that I could study at night? Thought there might be some other night owls here with experience in 24hr establishments.  

Thanks for your time. ",0.2265891472868197,2.6329572790697675,2.023604651162792,93.31897286821709,92.48837209302326,4.882170542635659,19.95736434108527,6.5620332695718595,0.2955922480620159,990,33,210,13,36,324,141,258,0.07200000000000001,0.846,0.08199999999999999,0.5657,2,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,2,0,2,16,11,0,0,14,1,18,2,2,1,2,38,36,14,0,4,8,1,1,1,0,2,0,1,2,2,8,13,0,1,6,2,0,4,3,3,2,1,2,5,18,8,44,29,7,44,0,0,2,0,6,24,0,5,17,135,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062213577678012534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05576898103987983,0.0,0.07784779829812323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880703822717157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304408032758793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722084255400548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09452943371556186,0.0,0.060425601799889435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949080595322682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361649348819701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19119051479711024,0.0,0.10398713815123603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058546587940673,0.0,0.0,0.08195343427128886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176785903255684,0.0,0.0,0.1055624938138803,0.0,0.10327649269696536,0.09882051631748008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0446954100784799,0.0,0.08078376279706129,0.0,0.07682514987200245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927523857993141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09705212695143066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0672526938032294,0.0,0.07055959832200605,0.0,0.0,0.6868268723571215,0.08963679875643975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06199324190561745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10158431184766746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.286750012483226,0.0,0.08648378596435106,0.0,0.0,0.09307409270119356,0.0,0.08753969095110803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413103070279113,0.11721647402398272,0.09406278523438358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517731480644956,0.07290245096875714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18310402390444494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295084411034862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878604274217534,0.0,0.0,0.08422796377675848,0.0,0.0,0.060779194663537386,0.0,0.0,0.0726296187890116,0.10669237686364473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062112949254544414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07548548324968214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645136975744487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,helpingblue,2018/01/07,"New sub created for depressed fellows to make friends :) Hi everyone! We understand how tough it is to go through depression alone, and how important emotional support can be. Thus, we have created a platform catered specifically for depressed redditors to share their social experiences and make friends with one another!. This new sub is called /r/FriendsForDepressed/, and we gladly invite you to join our subreddit! Thank you for reading and we hope you have a nice day ahead :)",8.139041666666667,10.570925487500006,6.8675,69.57416666666668,62.875,11.833333333333336,42.083333333333336,11.538034831475384,5.8568333333333324,389,23,58,13,6,117,57,80,0.124,0.52,0.35600000000000004,0.9681,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,5,3,1,1,2,12,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,5,0,16,13,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,9,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,4,0,1,0,0,9,8,10,12,0,6,0,3,0,0,16,1,0,1,4,36,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944445481093425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968643183369768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19170602252392735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12107834252119865,0.0,0.4851068664756368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2111849760219247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793959473392521,0.0,0.18364813167284688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900986874941922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669835541240937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864706048558662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506390736379803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3626456376943201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12721913643575772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18779324618273668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913797750370705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21304789653102726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17284801513905873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19544650156172635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,baconmo,2018/01/08,"Is being forgetful part of having Bipolar? I've noticed even before I was diagnosed that I tend to forget memories a lot. I don't remember much of my childhood to teenage years except significant ones. I forget what happens to movies I just watched. If I ever get asked if I watched something and I'll say yes, it doesn't really look like it because I have nothing to contribute to the discussion. That's how I kind of realized I have poor memory.

I'm not talking about forgetting things I need to bring but really actual memories.

Do I forget them because they just don't matter that much? It's something that I assumed just part of growing up but I'm not so sure if this is 'normal' or not. Do you have this experience too?",3.5988927738927754,5.523576202797205,5.3134440559440606,78.19273018648022,73.68531468531471,8.962470862470862,30.09848484848485,9.516144504307137,3.081452680652681,579,26,106,15,12,197,87,143,0.119,0.841,0.041,-0.7946,0,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,2,0,9,3,0,0,2,1,13,2,0,1,2,29,22,9,0,5,13,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,11,1,0,0,3,0,1,2,6,0,0,1,1,4,17,3,13,20,5,6,0,0,3,0,7,1,0,6,4,80,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.1768717088336242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694422276321598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209739548754776,0.0,0.1542285294399009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18396270316072671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11971246342033864,0.163949012977347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772951284723803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946944954920029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16027683217703084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887416939703196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854852057239834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15220250473088304,0.0,0.0,0.15409039924744122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664759773018286,0.13439294813799518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17758436279680026,0.17391215370082194,0.20635182316928868,0.0,0.0,0.12281820094256825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3925474128425148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2322239653537515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20531842681210055,0.0,0.0,0.14413552640852334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790668249318046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17082390781756732,0.0,0.0,0.14568011720159968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041298557476138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671764164376393
bipolarreddit,amilxtech,2018/01/08,"had my meltdown lastnight i just want to say this,  i had my meltdown lastnight...  i pop the pill and increase the dosage 3x was hoping i could end everything..... and took me flat in just 30 minute...  my body feel very heavy and my heart racing then totally black out... 

i know i shouldn't do that.. i cant take it anymore last night ...

today woke up in the morning i feel empty... i dont know what to do...  i feel nothing ....

",-0.4336274509803886,1.8122042941176488,1.1936764705882368,99.12071078431377,94.2941176470588,3.774509803921569,18.848039215686274,5.46131890053228,-0.4409019607843137,315,10,71,2,12,101,57,85,0.0,0.917,0.083,0.6597,0,0,0,0,0,1,30.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,9,3,2,0,1,16,19,4,0,4,2,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,5,5,15,1,6,12,2,11,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,1,5,44,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23028987481318705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579329076826962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18540075085539354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721483332764002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20566909310705486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20869533106204755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35223698520925645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751699100974607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23063687645480346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552330326162881,0.1892821027935047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179133087711997,0.0,0.22281171081474105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846626733374448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745929843400854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201078820431984,0.0,0.2579937997811061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915975286485676,0.13696344550948406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TrES_2bi,2018/01/08,"Don't know who to believe.. I was diagnosed BP2 about 2 months ago after a very scary breakdown. I have always had highs and lows, but sometimes reading about Mania is just not what I've ever felt. Maybe its hypomania, but can't that just mean I'm energetic and feeling good? I know I struggle with depression, and have all my life. After I got my diagnosis, I got really up up up and dyed my hair pink- and went out drinking a lot. Is that mania? Or just me? I always have had suicidal thoughts, and my imagination is just really strong. Now the more I read about BP I am learning that some of what I thought was just normal, are my own delusions or hallucinations. Like, not everyone feels like this. Which also makes me question everything. 

Which makes me feel weird. I feel like I don't know who to believe. My psych definitely thinks I have bipolar. My S/O also thinks I have it. However some friends I have told say that I am fine. That I am in a toxic relationship that is making me question my sanity. Now I've got all this lithium cursing through my body that is probably also contributing to me questioning my diagnosis. 

Is this just another one of those times I am trying to get myself off meds so in 6 months I can just start all over again because I actually need them? ",2.9791113805647003,5.147969187250997,4.46210289277672,82.50885847912699,76.25099601593625,7.871193486921878,26.450892083838557,8.716276077567194,2.0814138576130263,1010,39,198,22,23,336,138,251,0.104,0.785,0.111,0.5534,1,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,1,1,18,11,0,1,4,0,25,6,2,3,4,51,50,14,1,2,13,0,6,3,1,0,3,1,0,0,19,8,1,0,18,3,0,1,5,4,0,1,12,8,37,7,21,38,8,22,0,2,1,0,10,10,0,8,14,142,56,4,0.0,0.0,0.10406578949384006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453040941736207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558412175411727,0.1774669535929683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11182191029929713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500708684090338,0.0,0.0,0.24029475375287815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845360585329574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09184934572680063,0.10823790909291288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10446713628043493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646247884828472,0.0,0.10189961137136833,0.0958416462294054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156826563299328,0.1523680542741018,0.10239164731746768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823902210541582,0.0,0.0557152836882796,0.0,0.0,0.08944503018464546,0.2558705585234089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267159147646115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758205650331182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753233711449162,0.15629755198237294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09066197842974394,0.0,0.0,0.21355017694372766,0.0,0.10713476159274148,0.11616281698583855,0.11845360585329574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17023893229312734,0.0,0.0,0.07907261337957072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044850928284598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226239362748607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1149765448183906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3583854509696878,0.0,0.21333880823963927,0.0,0.13663332849156098,0.0,0.0,0.11449203694339075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480484215778504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10547022646294152,0.0,0.07548072710369255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11148385248294024,0.0,0.11664744850603424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666191142234593,0.0,0.1693213628006841,0.062182959762862165,0.0,0.0,0.10189961137136833,0.0,0.0724019304431511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798961848219232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885685422539144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,onionqween,2018/01/08,"experience with doxepin? Currently getting of seroquel, first tried traxadone didnt work for sleep then now doxepin.. its makes me sleep but having nightmares. 

anyone here tried doxepin? any problems with sleep? weight gain? 

currently on lamotrigine 100mg and doxepin 10mg (i take two) 

thank you",4.701887755102042,8.167889877551023,3.655892857142857,79.76098214285716,89.0,5.715306122448982,32.65561224489796,7.1686216300943375,2.9007326530612247,240,13,34,4,8,70,40,49,0.064,0.777,0.159,0.7399,2,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,3,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,4,3,1,0,6,6,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,3,1,5,5,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,18,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15398667623793855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15833181612470687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2215013551207806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926093871860896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11830533221461215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15115017493324745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21667209235616008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6798093221570759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17025437997229692,0.0,0.0,0.2084751379417352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074752156689853,0.0,0.22119856224027004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757423996998689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648507077971152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Olinoil,2018/01/08,I'm going to the doctors soon to see if I have bipolar My mum has bipolar so we are assuming it will be genetic. I've researched it a bit but am stuck between the terms. I'm going to let the doctor diagnose me though. What I'd like to know is what to expect going into this and most likely coming out as someone with bipolar. Is there something I need to keep in mind? Anything I could keep tabs on to help the diagnosis? Any advice is appreciated.,2.4432608695652185,4.251033108695655,4.671086956521741,82.0559782608696,76.6086956521739,6.773913043478261,26.71739130434783,7.6454224807358475,1.620626086956522,354,14,69,5,8,123,67,92,0.027000000000000003,0.85,0.123,0.8782,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,5,0,11,6,0,0,0,17,23,6,0,4,2,1,0,2,0,1,6,0,0,0,5,6,0,2,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,2,14,18,3,10,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,3,4,49,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2029404436549795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412280959090107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17090121921611726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267304824367013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788961247439324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658139069815285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21078870039271946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4251342684472588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3540844153699085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13920212100468918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3691873255780823,0.0,0.0,0.1141343444770074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123647268623907,0.0,0.20292186679651414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20969548014572897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15399053391384313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654924008823936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17596481363329255,0.1598805962823439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20404248567856187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BJones7134,2018/01/08,"Been on this med for 15+ yrs for sleep At one time I was taking 600mg+ a night at one point in my life, now I'm down to 200mg and looking to get off it completely. Over that time I've gained over 100lbs from always being 175. No energy is not helping either.",2.3865789473684202,2.9602623508771937,3.837675438596492,92.92914473684212,74.6140350877193,7.1035087719298255,19.513157894736842,7.1686216300943375,0.05812631578947336,202,3,49,2,4,67,49,57,0.073,0.8420000000000001,0.084,0.1561,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,1,0,0,3,8,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,2,0,13,5,1,13,0,0,1,0,1,9,0,0,4,30,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24547779135724904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3093197292557408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413421493682924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977436877168942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20837924370578706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477399922374041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3276973989181193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27685348533274323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39982233146456136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2788864388701673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952300746324746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22181608136632572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3440535900031117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,godisawayonbusiness,2018/01/08,"I'm so broken right now *TW* TW: suicidal thoughts
I'm stuck and scared guys. You know that first question they always ask you, *any thoughts of hurting yourself or others?* well I always answer no with the addendum of ""thoughts, however I would never want my family to find me like that or deal with the pain."" 

But recently the thoughts are getting worse, my mind won't stop racing, heart pounding, I'm crying one minute then angry, I'm getting little to no sleep, my paranoia of being watched by my neighbor and others is getting worse (ya, stupid I know can't help it). My psych doc I saw just last week and told him I'm really really struggling and don't think the meds have been working I'm so depressed and anxious and I've been waiting for them to ""kick in fully"" for almost six months. 

He did not address my anxiety, I brought up my meds not working three goddamn times and finally he said let's wait another month and see if it gets better. I can't wait another month, I'm in pain so bad mentally and physically. I'm tired of this, I cut my hair super short again so I would stop pulling it now but now my skin picking has doubled and that gives me anxiety about getting help because I'm worried they will think I'm on drugs cause the picking. 

I went to a inpatient facility in July last year and it didn't help at all I have been so scared of them doing nothing while I sit in a strange place for another ten days not getting better. Last time the psych doc took me off my anxiety meds as soon as I got checked in because he didn't like them and despite many freak out the clinic left me to cry hidden in the corner of my room for hours multiple days.

 Psych doc kept trying to put me back on seroquel even though I told him it makes me freak out he wanted me to try it anyways I did it did nothing but make me panic cry and my heart felt like it would burst (my BPM was 168 thought I was dying). I want to go hide for the rest of my life I want this misery to end. But I'm kinda stuck right now and it's making me panic more out of indecision. 

My mother is very ill, can't walk well and I help her, my brother is also mentally sick and I keep him together when he gets nuts. My mom is struggling right now, goes to court regarding disability soon so she's nuts and we were talking and I'm saying it's getting very hard for me daily to even live. 

She said she knows and is very sorry and shed suggest more but she's crazy right now and can't deal with the added stress and I told her OK. But I don't know if I can. I'm so tired of fixing everything else besides myself, I feel guilty about needing help, feeling suicidal, feel like a failure. I want help but I'm scared they won't do anything or flat out ignore me again. I'm very scared and unstable but I feel so fucking guilty if I leave to get help because my family needs me to take care of things they are like little children if I am not around (I am in my mid 20s now) they can't do shit it seems.

 Sorry I'm frustrated and rambling but at my wits end and could really use some advice. Thanks.",1.720131440588851,3.7036200615142008,3.10418611987382,91.6274989484753,79.45741324921136,6.1194111461619345,23.027234490010514,7.1686216300943375,0.7466362565720295,2405,79,519,30,60,783,282,634,0.246,0.67,0.084,-0.9988,1,0,1,0,0,0,54.0,1,3,8,6,32,36,5,10,13,1,43,16,6,7,2,108,121,56,3,15,21,3,8,5,1,6,9,3,3,2,19,34,0,8,20,0,1,7,18,23,2,5,30,14,82,13,55,82,6,74,0,2,3,1,52,30,2,13,41,302,101,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05306726503805083,0.0,0.0,0.05437968660652536,0.0,0.0,0.043428546153662866,0.09037400453609697,0.0,0.0,0.0369299911907374,0.1708339545592581,0.12463198930033699,0.0613504037448169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044689270074162415,0.04834391763086302,0.05076884653389293,0.0,0.0,0.041758017249906534,0.045343301749165295,0.09931343231111332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09605861508579874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05536865970824244,0.055787295234233085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04335897956221687,0.0,0.1789580102074171,0.07004584761426395,0.11197435130917456,0.04677374023329331,0.0,0.05636112890712738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297780247670393,0.0,0.04536575474834825,0.0,0.09619812178176024,0.0,0.0,0.07173729675905083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04880679583281289,0.0,0.10238986311932956,0.0,0.10983512686099953,0.03879626868365185,0.05214234544393459,0.0594896474100159,0.04963476596541737,0.046192717096150505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050205088482419134,0.2553541309494037,0.05209533267990783,0.030863392198326782,0.0,0.043433526727995206,0.0,0.0,0.05377154926291328,0.0,0.0,0.04864757370735505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12870591357376654,0.25480150734475765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0534805417892992,0.0,0.05813577325488095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04826973200189053,0.0,0.0,0.11938078776653804,0.13280009043088914,0.0,0.057502289064265334,0.0590037061193168,0.05553163796320122,0.03835798467098098,0.13265601835401372,0.10885790171076376,0.047953256504399085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10874917424942736,0.05505783332725982,0.0,0.0,0.18096541067452498,0.0,0.10945549529177384,0.0,0.054833651793397366,0.06360261517446243,0.13003976566729938,0.0,0.0,0.08053452854818728,0.04188419058521015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10421628144293878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03679919983558229,0.0,0.11557097892957145,0.12743294917708026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05673828677589976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054592601792084465,0.06083522916214084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436958091814247,0.0,0.053620694561109766,0.0,0.0,0.1855083550394597,0.10331502086402182,0.043186368136058015,0.2174794073489289,0.0,0.04327490834867823,0.04943820835026079,0.0,0.0,0.05574440250300765,0.0,0.0,0.054345291190105866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12158240298821985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080461570447623,0.06220742198849846,0.1135449951217736,0.0,0.11880405705940028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04083140766572568,0.04364916359163707,0.0,0.049997734841549915,0.0,0.0,0.036078541168639865,0.06959427630183954,0.05335544000749133,0.21556477558216025,0.06333261459557175,0.12483368202325335,0.0,0.15567533707865672,0.06033604416528299,0.07374051627999292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04690300999078656,0.0,0.1792327871492615,0.16015564142047162,0.0,0.04356105526212621,0.0,0.09765536124001466,0.050342272808044604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907093438821003,0.05515045218975932,0.1106850537196011,0.11573242628245238,0.0,0.0,0.03497132986987177
bipolarreddit,poofpuppa,2018/01/08,"Don’t know if I have Borderline Personality Disorder or Bipolar? Sorry if my this doesn’t come out properly, I feel sometimes as if I have so many Things to say, but I don’t know exactly what it is to say. This is mostly a venting. 


When I was a kid, I was diagnosed with Depression. I’ve mostly felt depressed my entire life due to emotional, physical and sexual abuse growing up. I was always tired, fatigued, I could barely get up in the morning and do things as simple as brushing my hair, taking a shower, eating, etc. 

After I got married, whenever my husband and I would get into arguments, I would feel so overwhelmed with emotions that I would scream and start to hit him, it literally felt like my mind was going to burst, and sometimes I would place my hands on my head to keep my thoughts from blowing up. But then when I would blow up, I would start screaming and hitting things without any discernible purpose. 

We just thought I was just an overly emotional person, because we never assumed anything was wrong other than my depression. So we went through several years of that, until a few years ago, I had an emotional affair with someone that literally seemed it came out of NOWHERE. At that time We started going to a doctor for depression where he also diagnosed me with bipolar depression(?), and anxiety. and then prescribed me, vibryyd, then lamictol, trileptol, Zoloft, Gabpentin, (sorry for the spelling) and then finally Wellbutrin. (Not all at the same time just in a period of a year) I also went to a therapist who told me to pretty much divorce my husband and at that time I felt like that was the greatest thing to do, so I went through with it up until the paperwork, and then suddenly decided I didn’t want to go through with it. Around that time I also stopped my affair extremely abruptly; it felt like I literally woke up one day and didn’t want anything to do with that person and situation. Throughout all this time, I’ve had about 15 jobs, either quitting or being fired. I would be really happy for months, I would be excellent at my job, then suddenly I felt like doing nothing, I would lose complete interest and that showed in my quality of work. There was also a point where I drank heavily when I had the affair, to the point where I would be drunk everyday. That feeling to get drunk did go away just as quickly as the feeling to have the affair did as well. 

Thankfully my husband and I got through it all, he forgave me and I’ve been extremely consistent with my medicine and trying to make things as easy as possible for my mental health. 

My doctor at that time prescribed me Xanax for my anxiety with did not help AT ALL. It made me feel like hell. If I took it and didn’t fall asleep immediately after, my body and bones would feel like they were shaking, and my mind felt like everything was sped up even more. This caused me to jump in front of oncoming traffic to kill myself because the pain was just so bad. I wasn’t harmed thankfully, but I did get baker acted until I weaned my self off the Xanax, which was an incredibly low dose, if I remember correctly. I also put on 20 pound during this time which worsened my depression. 

After all this, my doctor took me off Xanax, and lamictol, and just kept me on a new medicine, Wellbutrin CL (300mg) I felt GREAT. I suddenly had all the energy in the world, and was able to get up and do things! I did have some depressive days, but they went away fairly quickly. I was really happy, I thought I found the medicine for me! But it stopped working, I got more depressed and at the same time, I found myself getting More and more irritable, my emotions blew up again, I couldn’t have arguments without screaming in a rage and hitting myself or my husband, and my anxiety was getting worse to the point of being angry and irritated all the time. 

Instead of going back to the doctor, we found a new one and he pretty much told me that my old doctor was just treating my depression while my bipolar disorder was not in check. So he decreased my Wellbutrin to 150mg and gave me back my lamictol and added 25mg of seroquel as a sleep aid. 

I’m happy that this doctor is really trying to fix what the last doctor messed up, but my concern now is that, what if I just have Borderline personality disorder instead? Someone told me that those people have REALLY intense emotions, which is what I feel now, but I don’t want to diagnose myself, when the doctor already told me I have bipolar disorder. I just have a lot of distrust if that makes sense. Also this seroquel makes me so drowsy, I sleep 12+ hours and all day I feel this grogginess like a zombie almost and I’ve only been at 50 mg- 25mg. I feel calm and relaxed but it feels like my body is so slow. So I’m just worried that this medicine isn’t really for me and just another med that will make me lose my mind. I just don’t know what to feel or if I’m bipolar or just depressed and all this makes my head spin and Feel even more hopeless. ",8.03765164530197,6.7173030144927575,8.012494163252724,74.22444231531651,62.85093167701864,11.285458790361659,37.219858156028366,10.297328927527833,3.6903341967314223,3936,161,743,74,47,1276,336,966,0.168,0.7120000000000001,0.121,-0.9962,4,0,0,0,2,2,108.0,5,0,2,6,50,50,4,2,38,0,77,40,10,7,12,180,159,97,1,24,40,4,22,9,0,12,26,5,1,6,57,58,4,4,33,4,1,20,17,29,1,2,64,28,119,21,111,73,26,128,1,16,0,0,36,46,1,20,71,548,176,13,0.03679208871969543,0.043592608845969466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03261396674240561,0.0,0.036841962246570506,0.0,0.04060098479542691,0.17653572033914944,0.0306139651675626,0.0,0.0,0.02501988198387419,0.0385797129839122,0.08443754149857513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060553508254367824,0.03275275933631155,0.0,0.0,0.06913475694730709,0.056581690370686624,0.03071985727437318,0.04485623158341039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173543276980375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04208034797105991,0.0,0.037795609962402166,0.0,0.03169312663784237,0.03857580502381975,0.0,0.0,0.02937548904317022,0.0,0.0,0.07118356047193762,0.0,0.3168897210229796,0.1120295867493226,0.0,0.0,0.16866768475941013,0.3012660945511608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037647491915266715,0.0,0.24831688637940155,0.0,0.0,0.04103290447188897,0.04860165520981196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03306635697368651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22323822642302552,0.07885282659827204,0.24728322458625415,0.04030393480933741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102187874009328,0.0,0.0,0.13455643473005555,0.0,0.1045489594671009,0.0,0.08827798311122641,0.04056340770094752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11749758776467675,0.0,0.0,0.07551859508852024,0.03910826983340381,0.0,0.0,0.024660961524866708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03623279618700607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302094188375233,0.03270249894842776,0.040704994966890284,0.0,0.060659909292299086,0.02999046288121902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02598734033405104,0.16177280497432034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232187245104079,0.0,0.031279318131941666,0.0,0.03481356394206458,0.12279502457823872,0.037301403215101885,0.0,0.0,0.040867716384901866,0.0,0.03707777183783288,0.0,0.11144856408412207,0.0,0.02936709419905965,0.0,0.05409283712192328,0.0,0.028376326980952295,0.07106805710299616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035303001414667835,0.0,0.038607108015831934,0.0,0.04986254300641154,0.02798204138634235,0.03914937643288605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02550700176223885,0.12850173093208092,0.03843990191517498,0.0,0.10434124828243556,0.04147755191854401,0.0,0.07486156244517142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036986211206386115,0.0,0.0391329151811139,0.0,0.0,0.11784977074555825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04167826433035946,0.0,0.0,0.05851709135242504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03349413575619675,0.03838217259103747,0.04156458780156298,0.0,0.0,0.04135584924902619,0.0736373190523134,0.0,0.062347634754714526,0.0,0.0727766330301027,0.08237146221805942,0.07812488929092544,0.0,0.0,0.061519667220686386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027663071885274226,0.0,0.0,0.06774642424016432,0.0,0.04271845075355672,0.14665817343863138,0.0,0.0,0.0876264261817434,0.19308386525934865,0.042287093648395634,0.0,0.14062566984797062,0.08175472864817969,0.04995882628908195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510278153107563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033080506311230745,0.13642653938928542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093252119407736,0.0,0.0535701575592001,0.03736415202533716,0.03749428164144518,0.28749648630864066,0.04022637329613864,0.0,0.07107869657841542
bipolarreddit,Clittoys,2018/01/08,"Depression I am becoming increasingly depressed. I’m very unhappy with my work/Financial situation. I’m  unhappy with my body. I’m just unhappy. I feel like someone put molasses in my brain to gunk it up and slow it down.

Besides contacting my doctor I don’t know what to do. I tend to be manic and not depressed very often.",2.3585714285714303,4.991110253968255,4.964444444444447,75.50000000000003,81.38095238095238,9.314285714285717,31.222222222222214,9.606745405546679,3.8886888888888897,258,14,46,9,7,91,42,63,0.28300000000000003,0.68,0.036000000000000004,-0.9522,0,0,0,1,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,4,3,2,0,0,9,10,2,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,0,1,8,1,8,9,1,6,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,28,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535330801726633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549915172442552,0.0,0.2562669984355247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5931639781513007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349663295972421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11607339300619235,0.16399906553721527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616121537648586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121523475638437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23077311254213134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580371912052751,0.0,0.0,0.19450705090740888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37882521442707295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16712379554538495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheZech,2018/01/09,"I've been wondering about having bipolar for a while. So I've been at a psychiatrist for about a year now and been diagnosed with depression and AD(H)D (the psychiatrist used them quite interchangeably). I've been taking SSRI medications for a while now.

But sometimes when I would go for a scheduled appointment, I didn't feel depressed at all, then a couple of days later I would be back in depression.

Now my depression feels completely cured. I haven't been able to see any effects of it for over two weeks, I even didn't take antidepressants for a week (I know I really shouldn't have done it and I started taking them again) and nothing happened.

This took me by complete surprise, since nothing in my life has changed during this time. I have been considering the possibility of a longer hypomanic episode, but I don't what bipolar is like.

I sleep very poorly so I can't comment on the reduced need of sleep that is associated with mania.

I will talk about this at my next appointment but would really appreciate input from people with bipolar.",5.5524615384615394,7.493064964102565,6.0,75.20000000000002,68.58974358974359,9.302564102564103,30.948717948717945,9.725611199111238,3.1125487179487186,848,35,149,20,15,273,113,195,0.04,0.9,0.06,0.556,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,2,2,12,6,0,0,11,0,24,8,2,2,1,22,38,13,0,5,3,0,2,1,0,5,6,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,5,0,1,2,6,4,0,1,10,3,19,2,26,22,1,27,0,4,1,0,4,7,0,1,19,108,26,0,0.1261253164927683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576954023647416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698258313177044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13342386122919228,0.0,0.26447998941620643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395552637573884,0.0,0.08134039505073586,0.0,0.4345262011279388,0.12801454132310472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290699885466763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330458202728372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754549932096312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167992392189941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11153220083930072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931517548244245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908604100758441,0.06161845880255056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12705798731019327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352032405130534,0.0,0.0,0.13413570495057806,0.0,0.0,0.2420412855868156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874394137977227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142187343668563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13414979916213646,0.0,0.0,0.16159821473714653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10050554774496216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433216514587604,0.0,0.2524328053759072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247411630273399,0.0,0.0892721481770228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28449162453976296,0.10137475185481096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07354468631986072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012986737570327,0.0,0.0,0.12320610748816732,0.0,0.0,0.10893177801855282,0.0,0.1040665950182362,0.0,0.0,0.202340242257372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367775255906133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687874183730445,0.0,0.0,0.08122056864040876
bipolarreddit,Darcimay,2018/01/09,"Victory Saturday, Goal Setting Sunday, and other topic threads. Hello everyone!

First off announcements:

/u/ssnakeggirl, /u/Reaper_of_Souls, and I will be taking over the Small Victory Saturday and Goal Setting Sunday posts, as well as adding a ""Wellness Wednesday"" with the goal of engaging the community more. I'll let /u/ssnakeggirl go into more detail about this possible thread topic.

We'd like to thank /u/Scurius for doing such a good job with the Victory and Goal setting posts.

Secondly, we would like to use this post to ask you if there any specific topics you would like to see as threads?

Let us know what you think!",6.165045045045048,8.550900819819823,5.91009009009009,74.65720720720721,67.82882882882882,9.97837837837838,33.054054054054056,10.25414643259724,3.958394594594596,505,23,80,14,9,157,72,111,0.0,0.818,0.182,0.9577,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,3,3,0,5,5,8,0,0,6,0,8,0,0,1,0,14,16,8,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,7,8,15,9,2,17,0,0,1,0,8,4,0,1,9,52,11,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12204614532060686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677807608952035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714918254723871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15265757942786812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199726368384927,0.15053140340148127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17809685294151134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863233446896807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3670416449191065,0.0,0.2630407726349166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023261073835724,0.5156496018549196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430148121558018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13493953702501796,0.0,0.0,0.16523239284453034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11499749776743955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158810041177916,0.15500495366338346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3227312009818328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549814944611069,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,caradeee,2018/01/09,"Latuda Dose Increase? I've been taking 20mg of latuda since october 2016 with 1500mg of lithium.. the latuda definitely gave me the mood/functioning boost i didn't even realize i needed and i feel like i'm back headed towards the rut where my medication could be more on point, but nonetheless its working.  

my pdoc suggested i go from 20mg latuda to 40mg. i'm thinking about agreeing to it and increasing before i have an episode that forces me to switch up my meds.. i just have a few concerns about increasing...  

i haven't experienced any side effects from latuda. what are some of the things to be aware of that you guys have experienced when you started taking it or when you increased your dose? next, do i need to eat even more before i take it? that may be a dumb question but the nausea is excruciating when not eating enough even after 20mg. and last, did you guys like have any side effects after increasing? maybe being overtired or a major mood shift?  
idk i'll stop rambling, just looking to hear some peoples thoughts/advice/experience with increasing their dose.  

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!",4.614570135746607,6.6572975384615445,5.066380090497738,80.53156108597287,71.21153846153847,7.778733031674207,28.581447963800912,8.4952907291091,2.2023277149321263,880,34,158,15,17,280,123,208,0.07200000000000001,0.823,0.105,0.5996,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,6,1,4,12,5,1,0,9,0,17,7,1,2,0,25,32,10,0,3,7,0,1,2,0,1,4,1,0,2,9,5,2,1,6,0,0,8,3,1,0,0,4,5,21,3,22,22,13,26,0,0,1,0,13,8,1,6,12,102,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20459367468912007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567056911501325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560078959403651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12010526774278485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078527196386349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554333067794586,0.0,0.29807068759630495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14714836796254924,0.0,0.0,0.07606139173705577,0.1074664644951987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08549223300127617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978966011826661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15438349076224986,0.0,0.1695443477523272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261966324323467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14698396284200738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263224227531475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15112608883481524,0.0,0.16709264009975835,0.15154133070274606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22308230524520306,0.0,0.0,0.15998288382560238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10428848593693966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422039708361551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16851483961305255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443637331280392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647437769033063,0.0,0.0,0.1257653292533944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3393115243616249,0.0,0.0,0.13849475680257664,0.0,0.0,0.09993830322069107,0.09638879043040864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951405961642728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kyerawinterpaws,2018/01/09,"Trying to fight through with no help. Failing miserably. I've always struggled with depression but this is the worst it's ever been. I can't really open up to my family because they aren't the best support. My boyfriend has been going through lots of stress and just spends his time in video games. (I don't blame him. It's been tough) I do not have health insurance at the moment, although, I should have it within a few months. The timing could not be worse and I'm trying.. so.. hard to remain positive. Despite having the worst depression of my life I've managed to stay interested in the things I enjoy. Recently, I've grown more and more uninterested and numb. Today I don't feel like doing anything. I stayed in bed all day I barely ate and haven't had any water. I barely want to move. I'm thinking about suicide every chance I get and breathing feels like a chore. I don't know what I'm trying to get out of posting I just needed to tell someone. I need to go to a hospital or something but I can not. This is the worst feeling ever. Knowing you need help but can't receive any and being completely alone on top of that. Honestly, my cats are keeping me going at this point. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy depression is a terrible, terrible thing. I don't think I can even talk without feeling like I'm going to cry yet I feel so numb? It's hard to explain it. ",1.7625998511535599,4.082243000000002,3.3867501860580487,87.85535971223024,81.23021582733813,6.280525924088316,23.255271644753165,7.503015589744147,1.1314828578516498,1086,38,217,17,29,359,152,278,0.306,0.5820000000000001,0.112,-0.9969,0,1,1,0,1,1,33.0,0,1,1,3,9,25,1,3,11,0,29,7,1,0,3,44,57,14,1,8,10,0,7,3,0,2,4,0,2,0,13,11,2,1,10,2,1,7,14,17,0,0,5,7,28,8,31,47,10,33,0,5,0,0,12,13,0,2,13,146,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11208959034308504,0.0,0.0,0.09005277699987461,0.0,0.0,0.14719490536588922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906085091467436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597362017180991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11357660482503025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347299666628782,0.0,0.0,0.08640972672399112,0.0,0.11888127836667114,0.06979687496812267,0.0,0.2796449191534787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148231198537118,0.1957933896020604,0.0911851488904344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202592612624403,0.0,0.2736118156083231,0.2319502217565673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308733070322323,0.0,0.2460295249159156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938986384034192,0.0,0.0,0.11503927318405692,0.0,0.0,0.14508333413499616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09619632181007896,0.0,0.0,0.11895645782206588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644328825466119,0.15862140313262954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200995183167067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638503279687322,0.11502720648517305,0.0,0.2407448240464953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10230863716430737,0.0,0.10365067812070408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933240477898574,0.0,0.10686020774837622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169961516427368,0.08331773181585482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23070922479157405,0.0,0.0,0.12397262086200532,0.11314140805909367,0.0,0.11838177706043035,0.1228136848156322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869880319086389,0.09459437324214093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438012109352806,0.1386938174632729,0.0,0.0,0.12621500725279994,0.0,0.1025856791269621,0.0,0.0,0.22043523364394504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06383455214203343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12445466280603765,0.1043260890604472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029163210145444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,What_u_callme,2018/01/09,"I think the police are coming Last night I took my normal medication and vitamins for Bipolar I. Then I started the shower on 100% hot. I pulled out. Few other medications - just 2ish doses - and took them. I just wanted to see what it could feel like. I showered nice and hot (I'm a girl so the fires of hell would be comfortable lol), then laid down and listens to my playlist. The steamy bathroom and songs I love felt good.

My husband woke up at 1am to use the restroom and asked me' ""what the hell are you doing?"" Then moved on. I have been hiding this for so long. Thinking and planning and trying to figure things out. On my way to work he told me to drop my attitude and I lost it and told him everything. Everything I've kept secret for 9 months. I told him my final plan and what I'd done.

He told me to go home or he'd call the police to my work. So I kept on going to work. He's not my master. But I don't want them to take me. I have a degree in psychology and this isn't my first, or fifth run of this. I know what to say to stay out. But this is the first time a family member has called. I don't want to go. It won't help or change how I feel. I have an amazing therapist, psychiatrist, and Dr. I'm not emotional or desperate. I just don't want to try every day like this. Trying to look and act normal and happy. 

Yesterday my husband and mother in law told me I'm doing a shit job covering it. So what's the point anyways? I can't hide it. No one wants to hear it. I told my husband I want his support, but the only thing he will say is he is calling the police. 

So maybe they are coming, maybe not. ",-0.028144752534288383,2.056728473837211,2.256976744186048,94.59148181276086,86.93604651162791,5.2723911747167564,17.54144305307096,6.67199483983844,-0.1535242098986278,1241,30,287,15,39,420,171,344,0.062,0.866,0.07200000000000001,0.6427,3,0,0,0,0,0,46.0,0,1,3,9,10,13,3,0,16,1,25,8,1,2,0,57,67,32,0,10,13,4,6,2,0,3,6,5,3,1,19,21,0,2,8,1,0,11,10,4,0,3,15,13,46,9,33,46,1,41,2,1,2,1,35,13,3,4,16,182,65,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809383672211455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652162232221452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158761913930596,0.14915786952805316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06912516729719273,0.0,0.0,0.055835388467363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859894208144208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09738814497390737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729453605634499,0.0,0.15562072545282124,0.0,0.08161765439502941,0.0,0.08755247005387311,0.061851053469007364,0.08312807147382296,0.09484152697292182,0.0,0.1472857216393421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14761213275373952,0.07261718174250928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09216346321149713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09757924546466937,0.0,0.058031139110937935,0.0,0.0868443901228069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591490709303658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047580783783156666,0.07057229790924985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459488257598495,0.0,0.0,0.07661844998857144,0.07270337738140208,0.0,0.09450967574129318,0.0,0.07813966261070845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17395766846878494,0.0,0.0,0.17443564356727914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910541290254336,0.09201828536519023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124721100424702,0.16965532818635473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058667221201259175,0.06584616478402426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184381467285684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13769996215337735,0.0,0.0,0.06899113654371529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888706604216365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128006963417084,0.09228020018894116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824723247166817,0.0,0.0,0.06509557914810063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052326450384827,0.11503661844911625,0.11095085818126088,0.0,0.0,0.05048409376200382,0.0,0.0,0.4963716318170113,0.1923817944558081,0.17634151827033648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477524713658773,0.0,0.0,0.3063942634782786,0.06872126761334686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18908856792007875,0.0,0.0,0.06150224174445122,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,galacticspacewarrior,2018/01/09,"Mania So everything I've read about bipolar I and II says that most people's mania is periods of high energy and productivity to the point where they might not even sleep bc they're doing things like crazy. I'm diagnosed with bipolar, but I've never experienced that. My downs are major depression and I have suicidal thoughts a lot, but when I'm not depressed I'm angry. Like I'm so pissed off at everything, and the slightest tiny thing could trigger it and make me so mad for an hour or so, and then I'll be back to normal, or back to being depressed. Or, I'll have a couple days or a week where I'm really pissed off and snapping at everyone around me, and then it'll go away and I'll be depressed again. 

I've never felt that ""on top of the world"" kind of feeling that I've read about on Reddit and in doing research about bipolar. It's always anger or depression for me. ",5.860055865921787,5.441561067039106,6.618932960893854,79.48996368715086,66.82122905027933,9.841564245810057,30.19050279329609,9.3871,2.4150867039106143,697,22,142,12,10,231,98,179,0.2,0.6829999999999999,0.118,-0.9776,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,1,15,12,4,0,7,0,12,7,3,2,2,33,22,24,1,2,9,0,2,2,0,2,4,1,0,0,9,12,0,0,3,2,0,1,4,9,0,0,2,4,7,3,22,14,3,29,0,5,0,0,2,16,2,8,14,92,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11314607705449548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210508410566896,0.0,0.0,0.1277574873736393,0.2091201274815138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856879625360373,0.15045904947700364,0.0,0.08769571418455191,0.0,0.585595962437333,0.13801662286413915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981336777589383,0.0,0.0,0.12993451509278414,0.2444197315557384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875546674564592,0.0,0.13056192133314398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728044739768508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436701122428399,0.0,0.0,0.13391270052200224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416020244749347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13286571200620634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560515340622002,0.0,0.0,0.09076756465091547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14425306677438052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2097519913893606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332313213797506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427126381777373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12854485258071785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27203317290451184,0.0,0.08711213440433396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081365855570675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13607799136727888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14873981808630074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18067785841891,0.0,0.0,0.10795276289217533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907478407233873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hipaa-shrink,2018/01/09,"How do you contact your p-doc outside of appointments? Hey all, posting under alt throwaway for reasons.

I recently had a pdoc retire which meant dealing with the lovely process of finding a new one. It took months and was all around bad. So I finally started seeing this new doc and things are looking better...

Except last week I started getting some side effects from a meds tweak we had agreed on. I wanted to register my experiences with the doctor before they got lost to my utterly fractured memory.

Let me note that over the past decade-plus I have worked with six other pdocs and every single one of them offered two direct contact channels *at least* - a private voicemail box and a private email. They have all been clear that answers were not guaranteed let alone timely, and emergencies always go to 911. Most had a list of on-call staff you could talk to within minutes.

Biggest thing for me is the privacy. Legal implications aside, **I don't want ANYONE reading/listening to the stuff I disclose to my pdoc.**

So here's the kicker. New doc gave me his contact card at initial appointment; so far so good. Dumbass me loses the card. Call receptionist to ask doctor to get in touch, either via email or phone.

I was told that the receptionist is the ""best"" person to email and straight up didn't get an answer to the phone question. Not even a ""we can have the doctor call you when they get a chance.""

On top of this a ton of people are telling me this is MY broken expectations and doctors never give out contact info.

I am so confused, frustrated, angry, and generally miserable about this... And the original side effects are getting worse.

Is my experience really that weird? Or do these people just not have a clue?

Someone tell me I'm not crazy! (Ok, that would be a lie.)",3.5282407911449813,6.11563169161677,4.290805661404463,82.32664035565233,76.39520958083833,6.8029758664489215,27.187080384685174,7.898369717300924,1.9449612774451104,1411,57,247,23,33,451,204,334,0.103,0.8270000000000001,0.069,-0.93,0,1,0,0,0,0,55.0,2,4,4,8,12,12,1,2,24,1,29,5,0,5,5,50,51,18,0,5,9,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,16,16,0,0,9,1,0,2,7,7,0,4,14,3,31,5,35,32,10,35,0,3,2,1,35,17,0,6,15,175,47,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070060416797054,0.0,0.0,0.0859686539983529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224218094466492,0.0,0.0,0.0919747121767196,0.09658815992433864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626601508313005,0.0,0.0,0.08791580513669643,0.0,0.10842561626416343,0.09137616382345427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109979717704442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249082533942696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065160752121318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4230004264744164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824040691250692,0.0,0.08704966993700776,0.0,0.0,0.20212919131200344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317955735009948,0.09443056205096813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698963299276225,0.09911181103630892,0.058717864694236316,0.08665803628378388,0.08263265195282653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421776508120449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21129882180283088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676089823220212,0.11558614721262395,0.112783541209274,0.0,0.09324831335002752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476274146019648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246725134485419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968502683717656,0.29935481297418753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002157785617791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986284937902453,0.14325505350458165,0.09021308399797406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894985563927547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573953801420125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661880034785232,0.10622786614480734,0.1020138249165271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233087914461078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754080385383937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462576864153384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827411810792238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304290290972229,0.18060855454698505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13727945943806388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060245417461866124,0.0,0.0,0.0987245484885462,0.11478983433566388,0.0,0.0,0.10092644011280144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12187898494781407,0.0,0.08287527606762378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752165607205267,0.0,0.1052896254277286,0.07339397328201154,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,clownblowie,2018/01/09,"Catastrophic anxiety + panic anyone? Anxiety in itself isn’t new for me but this is next level.

From my own mortality to the plane I’m flying on crashing/hijacked, to the car crashing and bursting into flames with my children inside while only I escape, to terrorist attacks in a city McDonalds... it’s becoming a huge problem. I get so carried away in the thought of whatever scenario I am picturing that I get to high panic really easily and I can’t talk myself down easily and hit a benzo as needed. I’m going overseas in 6 months and the “I can’t go. This will happen” has already started. 

Anyone else? Fuck this. I haven’t had this in my life for over 10 years and have no idea how I got over it back then. 

(Am in therapy, don’t have an appointment for another month)",2.781932773109244,4.895975993464057,5.099593837535013,77.96602941176472,76.6470588235294,8.292997198879553,27.26844070961718,9.04235418022936,2.6176166199813253,609,25,110,15,14,213,102,153,0.205,0.721,0.07400000000000001,-0.969,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,2,2,8,0,13,2,0,1,0,13,26,11,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,8,7,0,0,2,0,0,3,6,5,0,0,3,0,13,0,23,21,1,27,0,0,0,1,2,15,1,0,9,78,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839927559202591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17483289507111002,0.2550988363415915,0.0,0.0,0.23316558943229135,0.17083649622080624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18968156337571024,0.15665007295642072,0.1282065102408799,0.0,0.0,0.1841422422748765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13928307625148018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15414091986563264,0.17422103272709594,0.0,0.18951511918118824,0.0,0.13335070139765107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744043504866627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17616136656380238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18821997768238288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776764507540513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26616756328843744,0.0,0.0,0.12362956312396173,0.0,0.16103067142538155,0.1773212269160559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12680709438180365,0.0,0.3912478316659883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15953987443673512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10681270029927108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11801367018583228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13401275509625846,0.0,0.0,0.19067241518127234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13236647440826022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736985269838067
bipolarreddit,Axzeena,2018/01/09,"sertraline - wired and low at the same time I’m on sertraline. I started the transition from citalopram at the start of December. When I saw the psych at that time I was all over the place between up and bouncing around too fast after a small depression blip. 

I’m on 100mg now and have been for 9 days. I’m not feeling any better. Just before the increase I was very nearly in crisis (low) hence the increase. Now I’m struggling to get as good quality sleep. I wake up a lot and feel wired way past the time that I usually go to bed at. So I’m down a few hours in my sleep. 

I keep getting the failure thoughts and accompanying low thoughts. Everything feels far away, like not really real. Like loving behind a smoke screen. Everything is dull and there’s no enjoyment to be had from anything. It’s all just motions. 

Has anyone else had these experiences with sertraline? Will it pass? I’m also on Quetiapine XL 300mg. This has been helpful for levelling me out but I need an antidepressant too. (BP2) 

Thanks. That turned out a bit long. Sorry about that. ",1.7129126213592232,4.35625440776699,3.0323378640776717,87.99858446601948,85.01941747572816,6.596970873786408,23.28854368932039,7.839951260653429,1.4321940194174758,832,31,165,17,25,269,132,206,0.109,0.8029999999999999,0.087,0.0936,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,1,12,13,0,1,15,0,12,4,3,0,2,27,34,11,0,1,5,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,8,10,0,1,5,0,0,5,3,6,0,0,9,5,10,7,32,23,8,46,0,5,2,1,2,25,0,1,17,102,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174145890990867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984492056793401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10266230813320996,0.15043788457911658,0.12082311630534134,0.13070392004336354,0.0,0.0,0.13794538120396133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493586653531552,0.0,0.0,0.1298533317212499,0.1602930837770889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468892173624352,0.0,0.12645874606733418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12265207852227387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639107400775565,0.14362142068415715,0.0,0.0,0.22271490927994064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15341829288501468,0.0,0.08344309985299514,0.1231484695900742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0984126042707226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445914357061083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305033497753182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14346095613190346,0.0,0.0,0.12993405461414115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248239714446192,0.1325138160678635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886766211694313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015951190571455,0.0,0.0,0.1533991629470317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16711712904515627,0.0940588049665731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29385879103476803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16435673252830468,0.20784466184822087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15349165614834215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351752248747693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23312269731213603,0.2568416483365065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970165585895607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617051895797406,0.12114464977570788,0.0,0.11654155024746027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PMcKenney14,2018/01/09,"Reputable online screening I really think I have bipolarity, I really don't want anyone else to know, especially family, and was wondering if you all could recommend a reliable, reputable online test for it. I just want to have a more firm comprehension of what I feel. Thanks in advance!",6.370882352941178,8.626182509803925,7.6609313725490225,62.846691176470614,67.0392156862745,12.158823529411766,32.357843137254896,11.698219412168324,4.970525490196079,232,10,35,9,4,79,40,51,0.063,0.818,0.119,0.5706,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,5,1,0,0,1,11,12,2,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,6,1,5,10,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,25,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234966938519079,0.3275045188919833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552030752033745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670145893098741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013240648365653,0.0,0.16161739980560733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17566340620692533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4095335926095393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2942775824891684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048096323772744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770588017923693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466312516786172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BipolarChildfree2017,2018/01/09,"I just flunked out of university. After 6 years of trying, I gave up on my 26th birthday. I found out that I have comorbid non-verbal learning disability, and that's why I flunked out of STEM so hard. I have decided to never go back to university. I was in computer science, which has an average IQ of around 124, and the only degree relevant to horticulture, which is what I want to go into, is biology, and I'm too bad at chemistry to make it work. 86% of bipolar people don't finish college, and I'm no exception. I have been put on Latuda and Lamotrigine instead of lithium, and I'm rapidly losing weight. In a year, I will be thin. I used to be really obese.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/bipolar-you/201005/graduating-bachelor-s-in-perseverance-the-challenges-completing-college
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bipolarreddit,notthelasttimelord,2018/01/10,"Sickness and depression So, I’ve been manic or mixed since before September. Now with this viral bronchitis crap, I’m crying a lot more and just want to sleep. Hello, depression. Even though, for me, depression is safer than mania, god I miss mania. 

I want to know the stats with sickness and mood change. ",3.506488095238094,6.3334890535714266,3.853571428571428,84.05809523809525,78.10714285714286,7.3047619047619055,21.833333333333336,8.344100000000001,1.5819619047619051,241,7,42,5,6,75,44,56,0.273,0.608,0.119,-0.9076,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,1,0,2,0,2,4,2,0,0,11,7,6,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,3,0,6,6,2,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,25,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21804343850959465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710705190388654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814702819477515,0.0,0.0,0.6621036997651681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692457112274822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14082414061619689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21784815439299648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21196638965469736,0.0,0.25642748960076056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25175689076362706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022768536187588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,icequeen15,2018/01/10,"Why do I want to ruin my life? There's a not insignificant part of me that wants to go be a wild and crazy person and I don't know why. My life is great. I am in my last year of college/grad school in a subject I care about. I have a wonderful loving husband. I do a sport and am in two bands. I have a good relationship with my family. My part time job is pretty good. I like all of this.

But also i want to say fuck it all! ghost everyone I know, runaway with just what I can fit in my car (and have enough room to sleep in the back seat) and throw my life away for a new, shittier one. I want to quit my meds. I want to go to a bunch of bars and sleep at a stranger's house every night. I want to do whatever drugs I can get my hands on and inevitably fall back into addiction. I want to skip work and go skiing on a tuesday. I want to inevitably hate myself for doing all these things. I want to burn out in blaze of glory.",0.6126819923371656,2.053795098522169,2.700944170771759,95.78509989053093,80.7733990147783,6.087465790914067,18.666940339354134,6.937597516519254,-0.1196018609742744,707,15,177,8,18,239,111,203,0.09,0.695,0.215,0.9603,1,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,6,10,2,0,11,0,15,11,3,0,3,30,35,10,1,9,3,1,1,1,0,0,5,1,1,1,6,12,1,0,3,4,0,6,2,3,0,2,0,2,29,7,33,34,7,28,0,1,0,2,6,14,1,1,9,118,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11962750871481835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775515812034235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309978370156972,0.16875911035987834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11188229673671528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272579329471455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338574182302916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09245659493431377,0.10485663640406324,0.0,0.0,0.10344853125136384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144837597444828,0.057332085620619776,0.0,0.18709504017779835,0.18408127140035604,0.0,0.12098338794634834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834074000221072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266196273405297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889520186839978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12061513491512522,0.0894487916843418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325275406228881,0.0536110503219766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904025531573213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12189101128602728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598288963385316,0.0,0.10297900263072086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07435937617730343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23766494310263755,0.0,0.0,0.09581649845440664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11164009590055217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671683734593274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781448159974953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726579404738932,0.0,0.11105782814326408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21962879460018736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729031562282275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06398744720055921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719529434659583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5825217002793752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19803780551822886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190030868972381,0.07988849460224615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066583743214737
bipolarreddit,WestonParish,2018/01/10,"finally got up the courage to go to the Psychiatrist. I'd been hesitant.. scared.. wary.. about going before. Thoughts racing through my head of what a diagnosis would mean for me. My pdoc didn't feel comfortable giving me a diagnosis for anything other than general anxiety/depression, and recommended I go to a specialist so I could get more accurate treatment. Took me well over a year to finally go. I'd made appointments and blew them off , never actually going. I'm so glad I did now.


I had to get over the fact that I would get diagnosed with 'something' and it would be on my medical records. I guess I had some preconceived notion that it would never go away and there would be some sort of stigma attached to me everywhere I go. Irrational as that may sound, it is what prevented me from seeking professional help.


I finally went this past Monday, spent an hour with a P.A. talking about my history, what meds I am currently on (Lexapro/Wellbutrin from my pdoc), etc. She took that information and talked to one of their head Psychiatrists about it, then came back about 15 minutes later with him. He was very nice, understanding, and seemed genuinely interested and concerned about my care. My personal research proved to be right. I have Bipolar II. I felt an inner sense of calmness and clarity now that I had a professional, someone that has spent their life studying conditions such as this, verifying that yes indeed, there was something amiss in my brain. And that better help was coming.


Lexapro had been working WONDERS for my anxiety and slightly for depression as well. Wellbutrin didn't seem to do much, but made life ""liveable"". I was not thriving or excited about anything. Just going through the motions.


He took me off Wellbutrin and replaced it with a mood stabilizer, Trileptal. I stopped the Wellbutrin cold turkey and started Trileptal that same night. I had a really good Tuesday and today is looking great as well. 


I feel much better now that I was finally able to get over myself and get proper help, and hopefully better meds to balance my moods. I have a follow up appointment in 2 weeks. By then I hope to see even more positive changes with the Trileptal.


I also chose to stop drinking cold turkey as well. I knew I had been drinking too much for too long. Each time I drank it was 6+ beers, and sometimes 4-5 nights a week. It became routine. A way to quell my mind at the end of the night. To slow the racing thoughts. It took the words from the Psychiatrist to really cement it in my brain that alcohol counteracts anti depressants and that in order to feel better, I would need to make a lifestyle change. He said the Trileptal would assist in those nighttime racing thoughts.


I even stopped smoking cannabis. This happened after I started the Wellbutrin. I think that can be attributed to the fact that Wellbutrin is somewhat of a cessation tool used for people quitting cigarettes. The urge or desire to smoke (which used to be daily) just stopped. I don't care anymore. It doesn't really do anything for me. Even with my MMJ card and specific strains, all it really did was numb me and slow my brain down (again like with Alcohol to slow the racing thoughts). So without the alcohol and cannabis, I feel strongly that I can finally let my mind be a blank slate for the psych meds to work properly and not be counteracted or made less effective by other psychoactive chemicals.


I am committed to feeling better, and if drinking La Croix instead of beer helps in any way, I'm all for it. I want to be able to let the meds do their job in the most effective manner.


Thanks for being here, community. I may not post much but do lurk frequently and have gleaned a ton of helpful insights over time since I have been subbed.


I hope you all have a wonderful day!",5.556485939380679,7.261403125177808,5.6955867709815085,78.30729086880405,68.24608819345661,9.27682459787723,33.149387241492505,9.661875296680813,3.3099388554546447,3019,138,536,68,52,954,320,703,0.049,0.787,0.165,0.9979,3,0,12,0,0,0,90.0,0,1,4,11,31,33,0,2,38,1,61,20,5,9,9,115,128,40,0,15,12,0,6,1,0,9,9,2,0,1,37,33,9,5,23,5,2,17,10,5,4,1,41,12,67,26,92,66,18,86,0,2,2,0,21,22,0,19,44,375,104,7,0.10286046831144297,0.0,0.05018848963551584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648898381385025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04112873967309865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034974322843767565,0.0,0.03934398835838567,0.0,0.05100497256630585,0.0,0.0,0.1269681017106304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04832039796908178,0.03954667546685338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04376334125078464,0.0,0.0,0.2274293133854417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17223945095229096,0.0,0.05882248670343405,0.1048731027343692,0.0,0.10881273666213233,0.044302592781002084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04106285705710218,0.0,0.0,0.03316824631332517,0.0,0.1328903559505877,0.052200605070133216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511461493339167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04555192215972164,0.0,0.05735830605205362,0.1019075538292908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13002335847382518,0.0,0.0493810901272248,0.2816965381380386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343508732086525,0.04933656697588264,0.2338318982472619,0.043137240318886966,0.04113345649563314,0.05670201472135927,0.0566562012183953,0.0,0.04547958621294786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10556451573336677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17236300925886008,0.0,0.0,0.15324548114716469,0.05064842081163802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05103657158423759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518179785839467,0.07265339071381399,0.025126214567014048,0.0,0.0,0.04551413881272751,0.04318844365534449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14599359326754624,0.034330080661257284,0.0,0.0,0.056022602285366575,0.22850958412262906,0.051810550176836265,0.0,0.0,0.10385975077113042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15122855897216628,0.038134866956336735,0.07933233430851408,0.0,0.0,0.14479137232660724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034850457688838536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049095977953931655,0.035655248693181665,0.04490689670816784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049255947691366486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05470238469726478,0.0,0.0,0.13179009978626358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043921138958960916,0.04892193008720741,0.0,0.051490636466767055,0.0,0.04098323792724695,0.09364030718172188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04254362115898809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043576670502724735,0.07918701381395593,0.05086581664769073,0.0,0.07280516889076426,0.0,0.0,0.17199191459049928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267534814344794,0.0,0.04735004974071148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032954417385149364,0.0,0.1633194444269617,0.059978766254376786,0.0,0.04874984840018747,0.0,0.2285635300429423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05354068754073043,0.0,0.0888384189040187,0.0,0.042435329388318364,0.03033488461646397,0.08164585198492039,0.08250846323163617,0.0,0.1849678281152507,0.04767634231982108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04957691043392976,0.11154779014994608,0.07488364599299546,0.0,0.0,0.2557419391710339,0.0,0.0,0.033119384589822456
bipolarreddit,illicitbrood,2018/01/10,"Struggling to re-adjust my sleeping pattern after depressive episode - any tips? Hi all. I'm looking for some practical advice.

I've been pretty depressed the past couple months since I quit my job in October. I'm also studying at Uni and have like 6 hours of contact time a week. I've really been struggling to find a reason to get out of bed in the morning and so my sleeping pattern has been destroyed.

My circadian rhythm is now set almost in reverse. I don't feel tired until 4/5 am in the morning and wake up around 3/4 pm in the afternoon. I've upped my meds (Seroquel) which used to help me sleep at night but it isn't really making much difference at the moment. 

I'm desperate to try and re-adjust my pattern because it's making my low mood even worse. It gets dark early here in the winter so I have no exposure to sunlight. I'm running on a different time to everyone else so I get minimal socialisation. It's preventing me from passing out of my depressive phase big time.",3.3343875075803524,5.398676798969076,4.918320194057003,80.12628562765312,74.82474226804123,7.86367495451789,29.453001819284417,8.671277953709913,2.5585109763493032,785,35,143,16,17,264,121,194,0.14300000000000002,0.8190000000000001,0.038,-0.959,2,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,8,9,1,2,9,0,10,5,4,4,1,18,22,10,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,5,7,0,1,3,0,0,2,3,7,0,0,3,2,14,1,29,19,3,36,0,4,1,0,3,17,0,2,17,83,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12873040726630772,0.0,0.0,0.13191407544467856,0.0,0.0,0.10534883283199258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958465831838161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11727252574647502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030473889605022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457628265905136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.340390782827207,0.0,0.0,0.2752711208695979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004810744459664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701005621219578,0.0,0.0,0.12587891693737388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660942768967303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204038616407795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20647908681356708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882995296873039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12973293273024014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307271579649839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06435931174065351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106246426971544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17586894018331276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632844435292003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10515002034470483,0.0,0.09684075117066172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12362484400599945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575644221782356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340223646369177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011692132528025,0.0,0.0,0.16878627088560968,0.1354460359008686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897296803085307,0.0,0.3954919174499843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754370977022507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304480906717794,0.15141057972258007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943975806879033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137771764533246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567027301713784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342497303507235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,heylater,2018/01/10,"An Unquiet Mind “There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in this kind of madness. When you're high it's tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars, and you follow them until you find better and brighter ones. Shyness goes, the right words and gestures are suddenly there, the power to captivate others a felt certainty. There are interests found in uninteresting people. Sensuality is pervasive and the desire to seduce and be seduced irresistible. Feelings of ease, intensity, power, well-being, financial omnipotence, and euphoria pervade one's marrow. But, somewhere, this changes. The fast ideas are far too fast, and there are far too many; overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Memory goes. Humor and absorption on friends' faces are replaced by fear and concern. Everything previously moving with the grain is now against-- you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and enmeshed totally in the blackest caves of the mind. You never knew those caves were there. It will never end, for madness carves its own reality.”",7.566979510905483,11.03696250561798,6.9227428949107725,64.07926305353604,67.20224719101122,10.030931923331133,37.998678122934564,10.194018383442646,5.178210442828816,898,49,114,26,17,278,120,178,0.175,0.6679999999999999,0.157,-0.7077,2,0,0,1,0,0,37.0,0,4,1,3,9,15,2,5,11,0,13,4,1,0,3,31,19,16,0,1,1,0,3,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,7,14,0,0,8,0,0,2,2,8,0,2,4,3,5,7,15,13,2,21,0,1,0,2,7,8,0,1,12,80,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522799460774814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18214448068277664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250110346268306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15474502169320112,0.0,0.0,0.1937512953242024,0.1741195954248049,0.0,0.16532059192116436,0.0,0.157370153172229,0.0,0.0,0.18878738557834526,0.13302647696405753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819184931934432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38874238315449533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35859966312381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411885307219709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17456432997143226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.347707096583549,0.0,0.0,0.18300096627327966,0.0,0.0,0.2655929310710079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23334836387768804,0.0,0.1832125356356374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11936850328468815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14704148231316502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15481123822703244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolar_batman,2018/01/11,"Really bad new symptom and want to make sure I'm thinking of everything to tell my pDoc. I'm having a really hard time. My brain just isn't working right. I have to type everything I'm saying 2 or 3 times, I've never had a problem with that before. I play hockey and I'm usually pretty good and now I had no idea what to do with the puck. I even missed a pDoc appointment because I couldn't find the office I have been to probably 50 times. I just couldn't work out where it was. 

I'm trying to work out anything that's different or not to tell him. I've not sleeping differently, I'm not taking any over the counter meds, I'm not changing my prescription meds, No dietary changes.

What else should I think about to tell him?  It's been like this for a couple days and I'm really scared. I've been stable for a while and this is the worst I've been in a very long time. 

edit: And now my pDoc is sick and I can't get an appointment until Tuesday. Which is pretty shitty.",1.20241463414634,3.1684684975609763,3.085548780487805,91.19710365853659,81.09756097560975,6.441463414634146,20.493902439024392,7.554174236665415,0.6203121951219512,762,21,168,12,20,255,110,205,0.131,0.758,0.111,-0.7202,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,3,7,9,0,1,11,0,19,4,2,1,2,31,34,11,0,5,8,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,9,11,0,0,4,2,0,0,11,5,0,0,7,2,15,4,19,24,1,20,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,2,15,97,24,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08241330755762034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09972898558587404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118852867934648,0.07387625592602859,0.0,0.1031237035913826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352880407749037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564057515218109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13409435146338228,0.0,0.07815747846720886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25323536386477663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123863499856273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004480519127205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178353877799165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11076539964310696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331673601710701,0.0,0.0,0.10164836269934896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856237233226924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680867864822074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05920727781121556,0.0,0.0,0.1072492736156566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08089521871953226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692293817994257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09346914443257916,0.11704598869264587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24658745289103814,0.13066324093682286,0.1159623950770222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329121154522287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034955372681606,0.0,0.09637509581605988,0.12133226076825927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127745100253297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422007393881685,0.12596273911450934,0.09111974439923597,0.0,0.3177760190482037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15530722624575274,0.0,0.0,0.2826672889324819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822800067329155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13347358530303072,0.09999438353133444,0.07148096009718945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26468313521714604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,guyamassonora,2018/01/11,"Maybe I should throw up my meds more often! /s When I was last at the hospital (2 months ago), the docs increased my Latuda from 60 mg to 80 mg. I immediately started experiencing nausea as soon as I took it, so my nurse gave me that minty Maalox stuff that you drink out of a little cup. They said that my body would adjust to the higher dose and to just give it some time. 

Well, the nausea didn’t go away, and I’ve thrown up my meds twice (last night was the second time) and experienced nausea and/or stomach pain every day or almost every day. They said to take it with food, and I did, but it didn’t make a difference.

I also got a phone charger that lights up for Christmas, and its brightness was preventing me from getting good sleep. I thought I could put it as far away from my bed as possible and not have it affect me, but it was still too bright. 

Throwing up meds + ? days of unrestful sleep due to too much light from the charger = waking up at 4am and completing 5 of my Chinese lessons, restlessly pacing the house for an hour straight and then doing 200 crunches nonstop. Mind you, I am someone who barely exercises so this was pretty out of character for me! My parents were concerned at first but then we all joked around about how I’d get a 6 pack and I should start my own fitness plan (manic state recommended but not required 😂). I admire them a lot for their strength and composure in situations like these. 

Feeling restless and like you can’t sit still even for a moment without screaming is pretty uncomfortable, but at least I was able to get that energy out in a positive and productive way. I ended up getting in 5000 steps this morning, so that’s pretty good! Only another 5000 to go :) 

So, I’m going to put the charger in a different room (even though I don’t want to because it’s really cute :’( ) and talk to my psychiatrist about lowering my Latuda so I don’t have as many stomach-related side effects. I also need to make a commitment to myself to exercise on a more regular basis. I was going to the gym every day for a few days but then I got sick and couldn’t do anything for almost a week. I’m feeling better now so I’m going to get back on the bandwagon. 

Thanks for reading! ",3.6176070428171236,5.090836630385488,4.8540169401093785,83.36373049219691,72.71882086167801,7.818620781645992,26.80278778177938,8.405096225971981,1.7945893824196348,1738,61,346,29,34,575,236,441,0.048,0.763,0.189,0.9966,3,0,1,0,0,0,50.0,1,3,4,7,26,17,0,2,23,0,25,12,5,5,2,58,56,40,0,7,11,1,2,2,0,3,5,3,2,0,20,20,2,2,6,6,0,12,9,4,1,3,18,11,42,13,62,33,10,72,0,0,2,0,16,28,0,6,31,233,62,2,0.08482718086194102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07519417765489317,0.0,0.1698843367446908,0.0,0.0,0.13567253177615582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894869535189534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980554210515097,0.07551417537383906,0.0,0.0,0.15939585751966784,0.06522686601344324,0.0,0.05170986211601202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07502274806465263,0.0,0.0942238750185662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889396852290918,0.0,0.0,0.06772760146773191,0.0,0.0,0.27353257039185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772526989112356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08309834319966672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07513170420247645,0.0,0.0,0.11205510587023138,0.0,0.21441167532748875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578234283080086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721539567071816,0.10257336381032686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22159350443793827,0.08137396141924592,0.24104620863495585,0.14229802941731934,0.13568809129147966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08353768601464857,0.09787917759936687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13829094827098765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288455156546966,0.08501912012367463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211703572012837,0.0,0.0,0.11324560383840016,0.08600144724150438,0.08522030472386412,0.0,0.28267162505569865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08565127115952179,0.0,0.06770824646548944,0.0,0.06235773827405153,0.06289827976782338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07960456288810802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06451489350467164,0.090262101198046,0.0,0.09419054572714082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562990090370732,0.0,0.25889921657578896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705494923816348,0.0,0.0,0.08485013630179136,0.0,0.05434246418426504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16138014845732954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953493054083762,0.169776884074951,0.0,0.07187379506971615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008223043437133,0.0,0.1354861924241653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09710682736171138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0637794831352662,0.06818087478032614,0.0,0.07809747124650031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334227450573545,0.0673433063163314,0.09892682264543214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424611913437812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050033269068844734,0.06733186778794427,0.06804324779077635,0.0,0.07626982292976438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177037528590297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06025879547360545,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Schaatser28,2018/01/11,"“Just when we think we have all the answers, all the questions change.” - Mario Benedetti Often I find myself like this. Thinking I have it all figured out and then things change or my expectations change, and I realise I’m lost again.

Just when I think I’m starting to do really well, something comes up and destabilises me. Sometimes even something good...

Anyone? ",3.5738846153846167,6.700406753846156,3.009519230769232,87.9573557692308,81.46153846153845,5.096153846153847,26.586538461538463,6.6274283507984215,1.3059615384615384,289,12,49,3,8,85,46,65,0.036000000000000004,0.8859999999999999,0.077,0.3804,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,2,0,0,1,8,4,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,3,22,11,7,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,7,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,9,3,3,10,3,8,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,3,6,36,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13937655947061636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6325958941014913,0.17170562412090265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165595235317262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821845170707357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16718901325757382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973828411206428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21759284857002867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22329584173952435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276962583692183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.306908800945539,0.19714301682262814,0.0,0.14108719353528593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13242636429483642,0.38316891514423496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17922210854460618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jesussaurusrex,2018/01/11,"I had ECT and it changed my life I was hospitalized over a week ago for a suicide attempt. Since I've been on around 30 different meds without much results, I requested ETC (electro convulsive therapy) since they did it at the hospital I was in. I got three rounds of treatment and my depression has been zapped out of my brain. I feel so much better. Just had to share. :)",2.8145238095238088,5.16871727777778,3.8269841269841303,85.94500000000002,77.6111111111111,8.003174603174603,29.73015873015873,8.841846274778883,2.613799206349206,292,14,58,7,7,94,55,72,0.108,0.7809999999999999,0.111,-0.2075,1,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,0,1,2,3,3,0,0,3,0,8,2,1,1,0,8,10,3,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,8,2,10,2,11,2,3,8,0,1,1,0,3,6,0,0,2,42,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201221436912186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20207775854270416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007626871851022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534066116172725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401354632684408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955144110821596,0.0,0.0,0.23716625331802466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531645433911099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114777811423969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18155230599670413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033652100173973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521453670214628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3337416297226341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3755528071259684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483007039236775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595938101809695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820853757517084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21881950072509865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cantilevermetronome,2018/01/12,"Just wanted to say thank you for the irc chat link It has helped me so much as well as so many others.  We're able to talk in realtime with each other instead of typing out everything and waiting for replies.  It's active at all hours of the day and night.  I've seen people come into the chat in an absolute crisis and be talked down and feel good when they left.

I know there was a very short period where the chat link was removed and I almost lost my sh*t.

I dont think the chat gets the recognition it deserves.  I'm not an oper in the channel but I'd be more than willing to answer any questions.

Some of us old guys grew up on slip/ppp and use chatrooms for 20yrs, it's an invaluable resource and one the moderators of this sub should be proud of.

Everyone is welcome and you should stop by and say hi :)",4.857485029940122,4.820228550898207,5.478688622754492,85.5276137724551,68.88023952095809,8.83568862275449,27.47844311377245,8.548686976883017,1.655862754491018,636,18,138,9,10,206,119,167,0.04,0.848,0.113,0.9105,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,2,1,2,8,6,0,0,12,0,11,0,0,1,1,33,23,15,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,3,0,2,0,1,7,14,0,2,7,5,0,3,2,1,1,1,4,4,9,5,25,13,5,22,0,1,1,0,17,12,0,3,7,89,16,1,0.18297444479048786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18322247585388396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12442889691859843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15761628252243012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800337979172247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144446865718946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17483992319487887,0.16444563271738194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09251737705299193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09559659541132247,0.0,0.0,0.15347028312652766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811734675438133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12264391340730114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18019297072349585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055796966172408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19880226964086495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19973822098526667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855073680428406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450727023045916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717091214070526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920009001930271,0.0,0.1239882192058856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268514413865624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20497325383424192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2910172451077103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15297482889813288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29413585554762217,0.0,0.16845828537113194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11724263603748153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22009572803378605,0.15803117214875892,0.0,0.15097307958620745,0.10792306824182572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645160002140749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,carbunch,2018/01/12,"Is there a sure way to tell when you're going up? I can feel that energy coming on again. It's only been a month since my last episode, though. I can't tell if I'm just having a good day, but my good days normally don't feel like this. 

I'm pretty heavily medicated, so it wouldn't make sense.

Are there any sure warning signs I should be looking out for?",2.0700438596491217,3.2938676710526344,3.6342105263157904,91.56780701754387,76.23684210526315,7.171929824561403,20.561403508771924,7.793537801064563,0.488524561403509,277,6,65,4,6,92,60,76,0.075,0.711,0.215,0.8703,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,3,0,10,1,0,1,2,14,18,5,0,4,3,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,3,5,5,5,14,0,12,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,1,7,36,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271201265090291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18077582830333036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27068470824269514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21222306733222246,0.14992404299781792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926828780186995,0.3520412625922261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17106392911323512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025270072325647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17622956546856114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14008319553523324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114118956731855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16750826888622675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20561826590848015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596080048219087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135030903348681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17359838039405154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3955811778467146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3668538216667128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20618640795271612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16657711878247367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ressurected_,2018/01/12,"I think I'm losing it I don't really feel anything. I'm like a zombie, just going through the motions. I can smile, but it's hard work. The noise of the world has died down, and all i hear is my own breathing. I'm winding down like a machine falling apart. I forget what I'm doing and suddenly realise, that I've been standing still, just looking at nothing, for god knows how long.

The day before yesterday i almost got hit by a car, and I didn't even flinch. I barely registered other people's shocked expressions, and just kept going.
I think, that if the car had hit me, I would've flown through the air, and crashed to the ground, with that detached look on my face still.
I usually ride my bike (bicycle) with my 9 year old, in traffic, but i think I'd better take the bus for now.
I know this is cause for alarm, but i really have to force myself to care, and take care. You guys know the routine.

If you've read this far, thanks for reading.
Take care, all of you.",3.001926298157453,4.188335457286435,3.933748743718596,90.48893132328313,73.82412060301506,6.9147068676716925,25.32696817420436,7.3011,0.9904228475711898,752,24,164,8,15,242,120,199,0.112,0.753,0.135,0.8307,0,0,0,0,1,0,34.0,0,2,0,3,8,10,0,1,12,0,10,2,2,2,2,30,37,12,1,2,8,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,9,8,0,1,7,3,0,7,2,3,0,0,5,5,22,7,19,30,3,28,0,1,2,0,5,10,0,3,12,94,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384833628275905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380573865679085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11767962133872932,0.0,0.0,0.12231148132477718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4230056480722991,0.14206798032861714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918941184710913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435293057183919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134313486611813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699265602354586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15719348920919454,0.0,0.11060786142951133,0.0,0.0,0.13693467967658585,0.0,0.0,0.12388595854079823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15586952558887746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22801142271937885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13512877816973648,0.0,0.0,0.12238751585138866,0.2322674434954787,0.15471773266291367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269864186632666,0.0,0.1451182787523244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958769610598828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766666412362752,0.0,0.17719178421691906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208865620354584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31194390748045064,0.0,0.0,0.1273242801989444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26584327762587945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523133909098256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10068105922740947,0.0,0.0,0.09824143646233667,0.0,0.0,0.0890580226762776
bipolarreddit,SparklestheDestroyer,2018/01/12,"Positive Medication Experiences Anyone? Psychiatrist wants to start me on Lamictal but I am unbelievably terrified of all medications (even Motrin/Aspirin) due to a severe allergic reaction that landed me in the ER once. Would anyone mind sharing some bipolar medication success stories? There has to be something better than, “it sucks, side effects are miserable, but I’m stable so that’s worth it” out there. I hope there is anyhow...",7.4290867579908655,10.200068917808217,8.067328767123291,58.894052511415566,65.3013698630137,11.442009132420091,38.19406392694064,11.20814326018867,5.610499543378996,353,19,47,12,6,117,61,73,0.198,0.5539999999999999,0.248,0.6108,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,3,5,6,1,1,2,0,6,5,0,1,1,11,11,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,4,8,9,2,7,0,1,0,0,1,5,1,3,2,33,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156581896386313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996315315475305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14908633034421315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22079806343173347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22419149089120166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6821692855788274,0.0,0.0,0.2279134646711816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24038507689747685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25500003408747474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17377074893116434,0.0,0.0,0.15976620552874451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13313586065836425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16034544108193027,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolarer,2018/01/12,Any tips on knowing when you're ready to go back to work after being on disability Does anyone have any tips? My mood is starting to lift from a dark depression but I am still worried I am not good enough to return to work. Also I am sleeping 12+ hours a day which would make it hard to function while working.,7.3407291666666685,5.412969531249999,7.48,79.43166666666667,64.625,9.783333333333333,33.83333333333333,7.793537801064563,2.3120895833333326,246,8,51,2,3,80,50,64,0.155,0.8170000000000001,0.028,-0.7969,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,3,4,3,0,0,2,0,7,1,1,1,0,5,11,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,10,9,1,12,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,9,33,6,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18565936003982486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31575537926085473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623326247144472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17851775953351198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149724874458116,0.0,0.19996024383721667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031659753770724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398847511121352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194265412258535,0.19472593848352399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079709822668328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286321795818843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758981488444454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15496951417291988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323290295703808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16432500936433733,0.0,0.1854043663105276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5070487171383662,0.23577113595349025,0.0,0.16492077295142635,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sugarplumteacup,2018/01/12,"I'll never kill myself, but I'll never live either. Not functioning.  Live in isolation, can't face the world or anything stressful.  Mostly because there is nothing I want in it.  I don't try.  I do the absolute bare minimum to take care of myself.  Thank God for my overprotective mother who never wants me to leave.  But this also enables my avoidant behavior; I won't push myself to overcome my anxiety and do things because I don't have to, and don't want anything enough in the first place.  So I stay in my comfort zone.  I just exist. Every day the same, in hiding really.  I don't see suicide as an option, however I'm getting desperate.

I'm seeing a psychiatrist for the first time soon but I'm afraid it won't be enough.  My family situation also isn't the healthiest, but I feel really helpless on my own.  Also have adhd, and anxiety to the extent that nearly everything overwhelms me.  I'm very childish, and couldn't imagine handling the responsibilities of living alone. Is anyone else as pathetic as me?  I have no friends, no dreams, no desires, no motivation, no stability inside my mind (or outside of it).  I need to bond with someone desperately, but who would ever want such an empty person?  Yet I'll probably run off and do something impulsive in my desperation to not feel.... this.",4.032996515679444,6.148929918699189,5.863124274099885,73.89134146341466,72.98373983739837,8.75075493612079,29.60046457607433,9.362217197678863,3.04370987224158,1024,44,175,25,21,352,138,246,0.229,0.659,0.113,-0.9791,1,3,1,0,0,2,40.0,0,0,0,4,11,10,1,4,11,0,19,1,1,1,4,38,36,19,2,8,11,1,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,9,6,0,1,4,1,0,2,19,6,0,2,0,4,25,4,25,31,7,24,0,2,2,0,5,11,0,4,10,129,34,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428167028065087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307732977830475,0.0,0.2850971711191217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18181705980900906,0.0,0.0,0.08309226832859118,0.12176060814855105,0.19558233168327452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14488155379462306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116030928615246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07663881161179294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927148147115752,0.0,0.0,0.24557685976444266,0.0,0.0,0.10749315572795973,0.10012370110838012,0.0,0.10680132966067453,0.0,0.11202716075009156,0.0,0.12017319916253502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20216215886851904,0.0,0.0,0.09181170718373197,0.0,0.0620864375188943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13147343657344746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12582921754652826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148007240901095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998957976561254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811472445359088,0.2749588763162045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11402548805420586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376222982596672,0.12415739175118715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12812434207361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522576221607642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189392385782285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13357563678869264,0.0,0.0,0.10068859866087652,0.09148506943145354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12666241020088329,0.0,0.0,0.13612521104423034,0.0,0.0,0.12998631693105472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934920959684789,0.0,0.0,0.10940739849816962,0.0,0.0,0.07894876324656383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06929370525432703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08068123561671192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805140687734096,0.2803680948850973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441704890279512,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LucySparky,2018/01/12,"Can your mood change in a day (not rapid cycling) Is it just me or do you find you can be normal one day and depressed the next, and stay in that depression for months on end. I'm not talking rapid cycling through mood. Just it takes a few days to change from depression to mania and you stay there.",4.262868852459018,4.8145404918032835,4.0919262295082,92.88739754098364,70.31147540983606,7.411475409836067,26.72540983606557,7.1686216300943375,0.9564393442622948,234,7,53,2,4,71,43,61,0.163,0.8370000000000001,0.0,-0.8934,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,4,0,0,3,5,0,0,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,10,7,4,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,5,0,8,6,1,11,0,3,0,0,5,3,0,1,6,35,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4193158750661013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.383446993079442,0.0,0.5121003073958933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17553684143295498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811413753503301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15819276096128138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21077650571940534,0.0,0.1941833761665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13429815856598176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4224867209905953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901364392879066,0.15929700426893526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,imaliveimalush,2018/01/13,"UGGGHHHH I just took my PM meds (that includes something to knock me tf out bc insomnia) instead of AM meds. I spent nearly 10 minutes, to no avail, trying to throw them up bc I have shit to do today and nothing came up. I guess bc there’s nothing really in my stomach?? My tongue and lips- basically whole mouth is kind of numb. Mannn I had shit to do today. I took my AM meds (that include adderall) after puking failed and now that I’m typing this.. I kinda feel fucking great, actually.. but probably shouldn’t drive and I really don’t feel like going literally anywhere. Ohhh, the woes of being bipolar and on 57 medications. Any Netflix recommendations? lol fml (but not really fml bc all this is somehow comical to me now)",2.7800714285714285,5.221860292857143,4.7457142857142856,78.84928571428571,78.21428571428572,7.428571428571428,26.42857142857143,8.418075326091056,2.180571428571428,571,23,103,12,14,195,93,140,0.114,0.8170000000000001,0.069,-0.5539,0,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,1,6,9,3,0,1,1,11,10,5,0,1,18,21,7,0,1,4,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,5,7,0,0,2,2,1,6,4,6,0,0,5,2,15,3,16,14,2,17,0,2,0,1,1,6,3,3,6,65,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.14564997144855796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149755771934256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17070634265163398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15093419695943086,0.1066267928328593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137982536733643,0.0,0.0,0.08482425340653947,0.0,0.0,0.1645526072854256,0.1644196537845906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15542464376701653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291776383137462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4973612671683764,0.15035728727429598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28642568546571906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16092061138923755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868470102976821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.306413325763174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490270363642816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829498986390789,0.0,0.3316524552412345,0.10133338874529603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666363004480451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Bunjun,2018/01/13,"Seeing things can be a medication withdrawal? I been bit down lately since I lost my pet unexpectedly over the Christmas break, I was riding the hyper train for a week and a half then until the day my pet died unexpectedly my mood drop and after the new years I forgot my meds a few times thus rare thing I do, was my idiot fault I know...

I wasn't sleeping well earlier in the week at 3 am in the dark I thought I saw a shadow person in the distance but it could of been just my imagination of being tired. The last time I saw shadowy people I wasn't sleeping well and sort of in the dumps since Christmas, I have been on my period for 3 weeks due to the neximplanon I been on it only for 4 month still my body getting used to it.  I think my iron might be low I been having low iron issues here and there majority of my life so could be the contribution.  Going to a doctor get that tested soon.

Its been a few days since then so it hasn't happened since maybe I am paranoid but that's rare.  I am spiritual as a belief so it could contribute fear.

Edit: I am back on them once I had my routine and medicine alarm on my phone set 🙂",2.788055555555559,3.991980300847459,4.473333333333333,86.34332391713751,74.38135593220339,7.278342749529191,22.856873822975523,7.793537801064563,0.8770506591337095,885,23,194,12,18,299,132,236,0.16,0.835,0.005,-0.9844,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,11,11,2,2,19,0,28,7,3,2,0,21,41,14,1,3,3,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,1,10,5,0,1,5,0,0,2,3,8,2,1,16,3,32,2,24,17,4,39,1,3,3,0,3,13,0,2,21,136,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778705710988901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13883837414777606,0.1412589015951893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046083571427114,0.0,0.0,0.16403023304421724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198397084409982,0.0,0.0,0.1301654501665875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431033275813069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13288375173007475,0.0,0.07227451144149905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245736441403867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327340376214132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06989014732958929,0.10366177070019487,0.14345502558469414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982501288779128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882274810212206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776089538376906,0.0,0.1412589015951893,0.1281119378361788,0.0,0.1349088970901661,0.0,0.0,0.10150710234287004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12282305659464525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543352953264556,0.0,0.09671967949954097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08816472684662997,0.1110412751815292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10133924483990872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4207904166733202,0.0,0.2545267444791012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155934851639728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16897422809063878,0.08148638177097131,0.0,0.1009599900042203,0.14830948421981474,0.14616496660019132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983537099345887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060279926504965,0.0,0.22868495717874465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08189429614744394
bipolarreddit,Detrimentation,2018/01/13,"The fog has lifted, but I can't tell if it's stability or hypomania After my meds stopped working about a month ago I returned to another awful mixed episode. It was my first period of stability since I first had symptoms two years ago, and I've been so afraid of how long before it would come back. How long I would be useless and unable to function in mixed state hell. I had some med changes last week, but I thought I would never be stable again. 

But this afternoon something changed. It's like my eyes opened wider, my senses were heightened, my energy levels quadrupled, and I now desire to do things. I finally took that shower I couldn't take all week. I was joking around with my family all day and having deep laughs that actually hurt. It felt oh so genuine, too. 

It's not all better, my paranoia's still there, and I was a bit delusional today. Feel a little antsy. My flashbacks of my mania have continued at about the same intensity, as well. 

The thing is the first time I was stable it felt a lot more subtle and not as sudden. It was great since it was the first time I had felt like a person in so long, but this is something else. I feel so disconnected to how I felt just yesterday, it's like it never happened. Like I've been feeling this good forever, and I just woke up from a bad dream. 

The recent med change was increasing my lithium from 900mg@0.6 level to 1200mg@0.9 level. When I was first put on Lithium at only 300mg I had the same high I'm experiencing now, is that typical? Also added on 50mg seroquel, but can a dose that low really do anything yet? 

It might seem overwhelmingly obvious that I'm hypomanic right now, but idk. For one I haven't been hypomanic in so long, recently it's either been manic or mixed manic. Also I feel more in control compared to when I was last hypomanic. More self-aware and hopefully less annoying. Then again maybe that's because I have more experience with this hell now. 

Idk, I really want to just savor how good I feel but I'm kinda worried 




",3.3261399851079685,5.305818073417727,4.564679821295608,83.02840469099034,74.59493670886077,7.6850335070737135,25.288533134772898,8.4952907291091,1.7438756515264333,1589,54,310,30,34,523,201,395,0.134,0.747,0.12,-0.7148,1,0,2,0,0,0,47.0,0,0,0,8,31,21,3,2,14,1,37,3,1,5,6,65,58,34,0,8,16,0,9,4,0,4,2,0,1,1,25,13,0,2,11,2,0,4,7,9,1,7,25,12,35,12,30,26,15,70,2,4,1,0,2,19,2,9,50,212,60,1,0.0,0.0,0.07940470230881191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442579555764588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13014200482207652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532280917778401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696000346072138,0.07243593118651061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625679715718429,0.0679399694156125,0.049601972018581186,0.0,0.0692392839333107,0.0,0.0,0.07196453631826005,0.08883420468413361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582338009614908,0.07009244981930274,0.0,0.0,0.09126259256707284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05247646908169134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797361178436231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07959479212356435,0.0767077374214821,0.0,0.20571382298581714,0.0,0.3125091661225955,0.08913609441016179,0.0,0.3460634388842536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13649742205117035,0.0,0.08970994409190748,0.0,0.0,0.07195460613764999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859711363682879,0.0,0.08081807800309053,0.0,0.0,0.08710752204899383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326536847298329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15901172578257666,0.08155341833938226,0.0,0.28803709133411337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917727182925829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08174640189224458,0.0,0.2711488575429405,0.0,0.0,0.08631997206379345,0.0,0.0,0.0649482015456478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255140458495282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05513794573626297,0.061885021762793764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104853703749005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08179862411852723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042545184839703,0.0,0.16068474098681004,0.0,0.0,0.06948894038110871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740755576614186,0.08488592927530306,0.0,0.0,0.13461905699101834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252841299725301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06498163068439686,0.06802838099314339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457386182642747,0.06117958950920189,0.0,0.07112035753764487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811629894607007,0.0,0.0,0.06459813774106092,0.09489419015925826,0.0,0.07712858521801999,0.0,0.0904042898756007,0.0,0.0,0.07948598585297703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0479937232627527,0.0,0.13053909389274426,0.0,0.07316077568214717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0592378218696633,0.08263447721026235,0.0,0.173407255288135,0.0,0.0,0.05239916349554589
bipolarreddit,Cactusauce,2018/01/13,"I can't decide about school... The second semester just started and idk what to do... I haven't been to school since before Christmas and right now my goals are to take a shower every week and get through the day. I was gone for some time last semester as well and will probably not get a grade in a few classes. This week I met with my school counselor, main teacher and my ""psychologist"" about school. I'm currently being evaluated for bipolar but it seems pretty clear that I'm going to be put on some medication at least, which is kind of terrifying. Though it will be some time until then. 

So, my options are to either take the rest of the school year off and start this autumn redoing my school year, or take 3 classes now and the rest next year. Everyone excepts me to have an answer, but I don't. I can't even answer simple questions like ""What do you want to eat?"". I wish somebody would just tell me even though I know I have to decide myself. I just can't seem to care. I could barely speak and focus throughout the meeting and my mom ended up speaking mostly. The psychologist brought up shortly how I was last time we talked and I felt shameful for how I had acted. I talked with my brother about how things have been lately and he could kind of relate to my ""ups"", only it's from his experiences with drugs. I didn't think it was that bad and it seems he thought he was experiencing a milder version of what I was experiencing. That hit me. 

Right now it's like I'm taking a look into myself looking at things that seem new to me and all of this is overwhelming and having to evaluate myself is freaky. Idk if school thrown into the mix will help, and now my whole class knows I struggle mentally (in Norway we have a main class that take certain subjects together). I've also been oversharing with some people and I feel like everyone is looking at me differently. I feel like a disease and a pushover. I'm making everything worse and being distant to everyone but I can't help it. Mom deserves better than me. Though it would maybe be better to take 3 classes now instead of everything next year. The thing is that I haven't been able to concentrate at all. Up or down. When I was up there was just too much noise in my head and I had too many other plans. I couldn't even concentrate on what I wanted to do and kept jumping between a lot of things. Still I was 100% sure I could catch up to everything in a couple days which didn't happen. I ended up not sleeping making a workout schedule that was ridiculous, especially for someone who doesn't excercise, drinking a lot of Bailey's to calm down (didn't work) even though I rarely drink, then jogging and working out. Then turning really suicidal and lashing out for 2-3 days before becoming numb. I hate that I want to live yet die so badly at the same time. But. This wasn't what I was going to talk about. I was talking about school.

This turned out more like a rant than I would like but it feels better to let it out I guess. Took an hour to write this. Time moves so differently.",3.757551782443288,5.318930016556294,4.504034098915035,85.66004438495139,72.50993377483444,7.325855995491053,25.599408200648163,7.915984808538092,1.3748568127377765,2406,77,482,33,47,772,262,604,0.102,0.797,0.1,-0.8006,4,0,3,0,1,0,65.0,2,1,0,7,37,24,2,3,25,0,60,9,2,5,5,100,109,47,2,12,16,3,4,6,0,6,4,2,1,0,37,34,3,1,17,4,0,11,15,8,1,1,28,11,59,16,79,64,21,81,0,1,3,0,24,30,0,17,46,348,96,17,0.05615880798590973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04491017845671353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937805178265159,0.0,0.062022991246975766,0.09557401860871152,0.0,0.0,0.1490037058992403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057257647529987264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13451471547885915,0.06213865287880986,0.0,0.10865335574593146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05828397635704506,0.11734800310458625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002850388939657,0.06512638802213001,0.05746448063136912,0.0,0.0,0.09948007011639584,0.0,0.0,0.14836945211344413,0.0,0.04731621783765649,0.16098644299014456,0.15141574643067834,0.05493409024060023,0.0,0.0,0.08518674210316425,0.08023972729238865,0.05392126254360464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05868131860663256,0.0,0.0638326895172608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06186525839647506,0.0,0.04966104843462845,0.0,0.0,0.05544519629215732,0.05763513881003957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528413043217742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05530511353571015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169615131342372,0.06172682437869353,0.0915538478495425,0.06334958151360531,0.0,0.0,0.05742618604124354,0.0,0.1646181413457244,0.0,0.0495892563286161,0.0,0.1414777642528555,0.0,0.0,0.09548842058328452,0.0,0.0,0.07497288082177099,0.056936216824257625,0.05641907087867697,0.0,0.0,0.05657409083955341,0.056594869757192336,0.0,0.0,0.13154503435099993,0.0,0.05968792534241825,0.04128318558490808,0.0,0.0,0.05423852670047416,0.1194510588016018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0427113040860918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038933446404064084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05713369717758138,0.060548693393775686,0.0,0.0,0.0564551131926857,0.06291071749120422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035976770424237414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591863034690644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45468569485926,0.0,0.20449947845220548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04645514629505351,0.0,0.056199365205410315,0.0,0.04758317576424118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07949898668045062,0.0,0.04484849660083713,0.0,0.0,0.058709379491344464,0.0,0.061428620993213175,0.0,0.052929011914527035,0.0,0.2533466073330985,0.18055329040494425,0.04908527347934456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14923766654388387,0.03598429656409108,0.2207029748492566,0.04458382054108758,0.16373326276877306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062394502022869724,0.0,0.1221693133619995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937175992389737,0.0,0.0900944166384371,0.0,0.05049351278103957,0.0,0.0,0.06269930356961449,0.06457985766211001,0.0,0.0,0.08176856212383457,0.0,0.05723062311883258,0.11968081775482152,0.0,0.0,0.14465772441632355
bipolarreddit,scurius,2018/01/13,"Insights from over two years of custom mood tracking (SO MUCH DATA) **Some background statistics are needed to understand these interpretations, and I'll do the most basic explanation I can to make it most accessible (while risking misrepresenting it; if you want to get pedantic and explain it better in the comments, go ahead). The explanations are in the footnotes below.**

* my mood over the past two years has improved slightly but overall stayed about the same. an average mood of 64.76 for 2016 and 64.91 for 2017, that's something.

* 576 days out of 741 (~77%) of days felt more good than bad.

* I spent 92 days in the last two years with a mood lower than 40% (~12% of the 741 days)

* I spent 15 days severely depressed (~2%)

* I spent 8 days with strong suicidal feelings and 3 days actively pursuing suicide

* I spent 159 days with a mood above 80%. 57 were in 2017, 99  were in 2016, and the remainder were in either 2015 or 2018, for which few days have been recorded.

* I spent 24 days euphoric (mood 90+%)

* I spent 8 days on top of the world euphoric (mood>92%)

* my mood had a standard deviation of 18.86 percentage points for 2016 and 15.60 percentage points for 2017, I've gotten more stable. A full time job does that I guess. So does no longer having the tribulations of terminal cancer in your life.

* my happiest days of the last two years were all in 2016 (lower standard deviation suggested as much) (an emphatic thank you to the redditor behind 8/14/16 being one of them)

* my custom manic rating scale suggests I spent 34 days in 2017 some kind of manic (~9.3%) and 51 days in 2016 some kind of manic (~14%)

* Getting off lowers my stress levels and increases my mood: each orgasm reduces my perceived stress by 3 percentage points. with a p value of under .001. With mean stress levels of 35.7%, that's about an 8.4% difference per orgasm. Each orgasm also raises my mood by about 3 percentage points, for a typical increase of ~4.7% per orgasm.

* each 1 (out of 10) point increase in my stress levels increases my anxiety on average by 4 percentage points. With mean anxiety levels of 28% that's a 14% difference per point.

* the effects of alcohol on my mood are unclear. My mood tracker strongly suggests (P<.001) I drink more when I feel good, but the direction of causality here is likely such that I drink because I feel good rather than because it makes me feel good. The data isn't of a nature that can tell me how it affects me during the duration of alcohol. It's clear there isn't sufficient evidence to strongly support the hypothesis that alcohol makes me in particular depressed.

* sleep plays a highly significant role in minimizing stress and anxiety, with p values of .01 and .03 respectively and meaningful correlation coefficients.

* weed improves my mood by .624 percentage points per level of r/trees high-ness scale. with a p value of .019 and a mean mood of 64.84, that's about a 1% improvement per point of highness. At a total high, that's a 10% increase in mood (and a very high likelihood of experiencing some psychosis). At a moderate high, that might be a 5% increase in mood. In other words weed definitely improves my mood overall, but at level other factors are still very important. ***It's worth noting that the percentage increase in mood is different based on the baseline mood, if I'm at a suicidal depression (typical such mood around 15% (1 is most suicidal ever on my scale)), a 10 point increase in mood is actually an increase in mood of ~67%)***. I actually used weed the last time I was suicidal to get out of those feelings and it helped me. Weed is risky and makes some of us psychotic and can make us depressed. Use it with caution if at all.

* weed increases my sleep. with an average night's sleep lasting 7.96 hours and an increase of .045 hours per point of the r/trees high-ness scale, for a very strong high increasing my hours slept by a half hour (this is probably weaker than it should be because of an alarm)

* weed impairs my cognition. p value <.002

* weed causes me psychosis with a p value of less than .001. Typically the psychosis hasn't been severe, so it's something I've continued. It's not helping me, but that's why they call it a vice.

* I drank a bit more in 2017 than 2016 thanks to a bender around July where I learned to cope with boredom better (1.24 drinks per day vs 1.1 drinks per day), but I've had two drinks in 2018 for an average of .18 drinks per day. I intend to drink again, but I'm giving my liver a break for the time being.

----------

**Things this teaches**

* the effects of substance use are complicated and hard to measure. I deliberately minimized my analysis of alcohol because so few of my tests demonstrated statistical significance. From anecdotal observation I can tell you I've learned it increases the effects of stress on my body and can exacerbate either depression or mania, but that it helps me feel connected to friends. You may benefit in one way but be hurt in another. It's a lot to keep track of, and probably more than my mood tracker can keep track of (and it has 17 columns with 11 variables!)

* sleep and meds make a world of difference

* mood trackers are only as informative as your data, so if you want to see how substances affect you, you've gotta track it measurably.

* a support network and friends can make a world of difference (learned through observation and verified with it, but still)

* meds definitely help


----------------

**Pretty dumbed down statistics**

P value is most basically explained as the likelihood of occurring due to chance with 1 meaning 100% and 0 meaning couldn't randomly occur at all (I know this isn't quite right, but this is a simplification). R squared is how well an algorithm explains the data. a high r squared means a regression has high explanatory power. 1 is a perfect fit, 0 is no fit. Beta is the strength of a correlation. If my mood is measured on a 100 point scale and one unit of sleep changes my mood by +6 points, then sleep would have a beta of 6. Standard deviation is a descriptor for the amount of variation in a data set. If everything is close to average, it's got a low standard deviation. If everything is very disparate, it will have a high SD.

-----------

Edit: thought I had percent and percentage point confused somewhere but was wrong so I fixed it twice, oops.

Edit 2: I wanted to share it but was feeling too worn out to set up a new one for you guys, but u/glitter-beast reminded me [I posted about it before and had a dropbox saved file for it](https://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit/comments/6mmchn/making_a_mood_tracker_how_i_did_it_why_you_might/). I updated the one I linked in the description there to make it more likely to output possible mania (as it seemed to fail at this), corrected an error that was getting in the way of accurate alcohol-related depression results, and changed the dates to be for 2018

Edit 3: the biggest thing I might change for yourself if I was you would be the role of your sex drive in your manic rating. Most people don't keep the same baseline libido as I do, and plenty of people don't have their libido as a very strong indicator of mania.",3.829386363636363,6.426399556060607,4.6479356060606065,80.10690340909093,75.4090909090909,8.125,28.64583333333333,8.930421266530582,2.677378787878788,5634,242,1003,132,128,1814,491,1320,0.109,0.738,0.153,0.9953,6,0,14,0,0,1,304.0,2,12,3,17,31,75,1,9,91,0,75,28,13,22,8,180,141,73,5,17,28,0,9,2,2,8,6,0,0,1,52,55,12,3,33,8,8,15,10,21,1,12,29,14,81,29,186,96,50,164,0,9,4,5,39,95,1,29,49,613,133,10,0.0,0.0,0.06122446649100894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16762296898375395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025086281358735463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032893791674377164,0.07199304206096391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055851241963303634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026192330302488468,0.07649053986573724,0.0,0.026693244202025037,0.0,0.0,0.0554877760919375,0.03424751072541705,0.034844586571524394,0.0,0.0,0.03203189903023215,0.0,0.0,0.03222525063438664,0.09955472556477382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3439238697487874,0.0,0.16211169540988685,0.0,0.0,0.1638729305877066,0.0,0.0,0.05490354830198594,0.0,0.0,0.21511206040935396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02837562580657715,0.0,0.0,0.05638600049599104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102999050617143,0.0,0.030119763712159107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048472195835459586,0.0,0.06555734667082011,0.0300926070253648,0.017828083344828362,0.10524542753123037,0.025089158362459868,0.0,0.034557183511544125,0.031060865107748387,0.0,0.0,0.028101026387677048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08410560557846186,0.3645810943937694,0.0,0.0,0.12357106441435076,0.0,0.03358183715658615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031129516842084357,0.08364830407808062,0.0,0.06533328362204027,0.017239927973540212,0.10228173948772833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02215729700933431,0.03065123284195124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026669337192262384,0.0,0.0,0.16751577011725133,0.0,0.0,0.20502433693077365,0.06968917314304879,0.0,0.0,0.06655643914602348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04612057420195267,0.023260182773612626,0.0,0.03029698362483307,0.0,0.029438272226614333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628436392797463,0.0238580167864382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029945860882777963,0.04349550254844712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4151621518170592,0.035364543861191686,0.030043433671880424,0.031914190762859014,0.06764353251653582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03336546231215895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026789492172095045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024997533253064468,0.028557732514419537,0.0,0.07087750459657917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883537054858215,0.0,0.0,0.04829974670471847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033435851159820285,0.05010365324329746,0.0,0.2156028274697525,0.0,0.0,0.17156641575140594,0.07119576756576282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0548368776695092,0.057761880358446475,0.0,0.0,0.04168117585915936,0.0,0.0,0.024903981782639726,0.054875649646685266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15321784906497735,0.032656890594326186,0.07546760363899159,0.08127986378157033,0.0,0.1294161480569588,0.0555078606727502,0.04979950348459272,0.0,0.0,0.028205064240324974,0.0,0.028306211368703545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04456816948277911,0.034297765345498776,0.0,0.08080405155637561
bipolarreddit,Red_robot89,2018/01/13,"Temporary relief is better than permanent relief I have come to terms with the fact that I will always experience this drastic highs and lows. They may become less intense with the help of medication and therapy but they will always be with me. 

My Dr doesn't want me to smoke pot anymore; I totally get why but when I am very deeply depressed and contemplating suicide I will choose the temporary and nearly instant relief over the permanent relief every time. 

Sorry if this makes no sense to you, I'm stoned.. But im alive ",4.976836734693876,7.103266224489797,5.5630102040816345,76.99716836734696,70.42857142857143,8.573469387755104,27.556122448979593,9.188382445141503,2.5329959183673467,422,15,72,9,8,136,69,98,0.161,0.66,0.179,0.0164,0,0,1,0,0,1,7.0,0,1,2,1,1,7,0,0,4,0,9,2,0,1,2,18,14,9,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,11,5,10,9,3,8,0,2,0,0,4,4,0,2,3,49,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3786925228409572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256761225164356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25131963553177644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20125632074276445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19602083587524435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959951402239634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19172720281016428,0.0,0.0,0.22259512577459808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888952232259553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15252715034494652,0.240427236535475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24580139852910826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15189655242412656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292404736450284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547322493731302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.248911223545458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602320971946743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326907428879708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18775895980757396,0.13421944553205128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20533545784185947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kapibarasann,2018/01/14,"New to Risperdal; do side effects subside? I'm 27 years old and was just diagnosed with bipolar type II after Prozac treating what they thought was depression sent me into a psychotic episode. I was diagnosed with major depression & generalized anxiety disorder at 12 years old and just coasted on Wellbutrin XL & Celexa until college, then cut back to just Wellbutrin XL in college until about a month ago. I haven't been depressed in at least a year but my anxiety has been out of control for many years. The psychiatrist at the hospital was convinced the anxiety is a manifestation of hypomania, and put me in Risperdal 0.5mg twice a day. I started it 4 days ago and take it in additional to Wellbutrin.

Anyway, enough about that. My dose of Risperdal is very low at 1mg a day and I still feel like a [metaphorical] zombie. My brain is in a fog and I can barely stay awake. I'm terrified of driving or working like this. No general anxiety, though! Thankfully, I don't notice an increase in appetite either.

If you took Risperdal, did early symptoms go away after a while? I'm just a little disturbed because it's such a low dose and I'm already feeling like this. The psychiatrist eventually wants to maybe bump me up to 2mg a day, but if that's gonna make me feel even more like this, I don't know if I'd be able to function. I'm willing to stick with it if it'll make my out-of-control anxiety manageable at some point, but I'm a bit skeptical if these side effects will continue as long as I'm on it.",5.049664429530201,5.96964903355705,5.980731543624163,78.72223825503356,68.73154362416108,9.449932885906039,34.698657718120806,9.642632912329526,3.3266491275167787,1204,59,232,26,20,398,163,298,0.139,0.7809999999999999,0.08,-0.9291,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,1,4,12,15,2,1,18,0,20,8,1,5,0,41,42,23,0,6,14,0,3,4,0,4,7,0,0,0,13,13,0,1,7,0,0,6,4,8,0,1,10,3,17,7,40,27,8,56,0,5,0,0,3,23,0,7,30,142,30,5,0.10334455423392444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18321742374956126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404328542227088,0.0,0.0,0.2239475626711169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3952915056123412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709561059746906,0.07946558312725431,0.0,0.06299788105152739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11282548721856568,0.0,0.0,0.11536670062117667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23181941027831396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.266594751996887,0.0,0.2670315393882612,0.2097850943233131,0.0,0.0,0.11844181250437055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678255026432593,0.0,0.06825810340580317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567623353312737,0.1476587403878679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058733091747326174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05679546431338384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019557162545125,0.10357839293093517,0.0,0.09145667843355554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13796658486951952,0.10477515742401948,0.10382349518016767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248863722495971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998108144598025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765845995841652,0.216885450486604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769400766300394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10388982096250488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07314780739827323,0.11015154438288682,0.08253109450681494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741456177213478,0.07770224339544751,0.0,0.0,0.0951457807598491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153549982586932,0.0820440323630089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11481960229317915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527008036026303,0.0609552956522413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752360663099975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662020185693704
bipolarreddit,Bunnyhat013,2018/01/14,"Trouble controlling anger? Has anyone gotten any advice about controlling your random anger outbursts? My therapist and psychiatrist are basically saying I need to talk to the other about it (Oh you need to talk to her about adjusting your meds, oh you need to talk to the therapist about different strategies) and not really helping me deal with it at all. Whenever someone makes me angry I start feeling and reliving every painful or hurtful experience they've ever caused and all the anger I had then comes back fresh and raw. I'm really running out of ideas on how to handle it.",7.242571428571428,8.65804087619048,7.341904761904765,69.14142857142859,64.04761904761905,10.952380952380953,34.04761904761905,10.914260884657429,4.194619047619049,472,20,74,13,7,152,71,105,0.21600000000000005,0.752,0.032,-0.9721,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,4,0,2,7,6,3,0,3,0,3,1,0,5,3,25,12,8,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,8,0,2,3,0,0,2,1,6,0,0,2,2,11,0,16,10,2,9,0,1,0,0,11,3,0,2,4,50,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15538186036958762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081316463272558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118286569868037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226818926853307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16334615534203825,0.0,0.1369722672080104,0.0,0.0,0.3566844716490531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16393140863413502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166130674853906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383284193863716,0.13397203178478428,0.0,0.0,0.155541419414228,0.0,0.0,0.08039978286687025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10658045355352376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.170222539184765,0.17950192866298487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10613981454427918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766232733305057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3537097171155995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16919690225165224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20373061292967215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12645042511188448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13472790149415784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254746529989124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834164943820979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692436608221466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hooray_this_sucks,2018/01/14,"It’s 4am Seroquel reduction is going *really* well. I have to be up in 3 hours. I absolutely cannot get to sleep on my own unmedicated and if I do it’s a very light sleep. I’ve been tapering for a while now and I’m at the arse-end of it. 

I just need a med so I’m tired enough to fall asleep but not too tired that I can’t wake up enough the next morning. Also one so I’m not too drowsy so I can function properly the next day and the kicker - doesn’t make me fat. 

People can walk on the moon but not invent this wonder drug for me. Why lol. ",-1.8825968436154952,-0.00377752845528434,1.43013868962219,97.69605451936874,96.64227642276423,4.845337159253947,13.739359158297464,6.522977012572876,-0.7224132950741269,416,8,107,6,17,148,81,123,0.058,0.894,0.048,-0.2748,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,9,1,0,0,8,1,10,8,5,1,0,13,18,11,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,3,1,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,1,1,1,1,9,1,12,16,3,15,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,2,6,67,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462629956953264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11795370114199047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21210293386195614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16199282175230462,0.3779638399244994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09555634987100496,0.0,0.10394481510558938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801171106634489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208544389853855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20315779540364687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13561611480948885,0.0,0.0,0.3890269488940121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123936020977973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679803776087165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11716876660296073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660590001458892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4204273436139167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15090952090888005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644467400558966,0.0,0.1650364680347498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983444433284714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tartansheep,2018/01/14,"This isn’t related to bipolar but I need to talk to someone and everyone here is asleep. Mice in my room, tw eating disorder Not sure if this can go here.

I have an eating problem and I binge eat a lot and I keep the food wrappers in my room because I am embarrassed and don’t want my parents to find out about the binging...

Woke up at 4am and saw a mouse on my bedroom floor and there is always more than one. Must have been attracted by the food wrappers. Told my parents and they are angry but I told them it was wrappers from Christmas chocolate not binge food. I’ll die of embarrassment if they find out, which they will, because all the wrappers are in a bin bag in my room. 

So the mice are going to be horribly killed and my parents are going to be so angry with me and it is all my fault and I feel so guilty. This happened when I was around fourteen for the same reason - I am now 22 - and oh god why the hell haven’t I grown out of this pathetic crap. 

I don’t know what to do, I mean short term the mouse need sorting out. I am in my brother’s room tonight now - too scared to go into mine - and I think I can hear them in the loft. It’s an old house. I am so scared that they are all through the house. The thought of them living in my room makes me feel a bit sick - when I was fourteen we put out traps and one died in front of me, and I swore I would change my ways and grow up a bit but now I am a fucking adult and I still am like this and my parents are going to be so disappointed 

Oh god. Been hearing noises for about a week but told myself it was the radiator making the papers move on my noticeboard, although looking back it was mice and I was lying to myself. 

I can definitely hear them in the loft above my head. 

I feel so bad ",1.7133870967741949,3.1349824892473137,3.1421505376344108,93.90822580645164,77.60215053763442,6.090322580645162,23.021505376344088,6.6834051587181325,0.3985505376344087,1354,41,317,12,31,443,168,372,0.236,0.723,0.041,-0.9983,4,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,8,0,20,15,4,4,23,0,39,12,3,3,5,61,68,33,3,8,8,5,3,1,0,3,2,3,8,1,13,27,6,1,10,0,0,10,6,12,0,2,14,8,53,3,44,48,9,50,1,1,2,1,22,28,3,4,12,224,66,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347846247679238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861191403113457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790259918994665,0.07373262064135168,0.10766220289373724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19281665182634694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341705158658538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832973593152176,0.0,0.1012074234569701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710801890804052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438108187424799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13395195259605064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16142191805067493,0.0,0.3203433693537438,0.0,0.0,0.08163835893154489,0.0,0.0,0.2509343939324371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808955057501173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062841460000437,0.0,0.2985850760075398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20378874447843687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784912809800099,0.0976985643291238,0.0,0.048531194226597664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04314231870981357,0.0,0.0779766610273672,0.0,0.07415560333572056,0.0,0.0,0.07507541708751858,0.0,0.0,0.11789115923303027,0.0,0.0,0.09619216441466694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385632022811252,0.0,0.13095697959584315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266329670631927,0.0,0.11967815914209327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3922177019925633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449783188340601,0.0,0.08877288248719642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09079425945950598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682133877314915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07482219823153002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07052205005567791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08322826204979578,0.0,0.0,0.0709777871540579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0565835324670353,0.0,0.07010585999917891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25314324562274393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05208573128508608,0.07009395224006268,0.07083451443715022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968329356491985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627307287133786,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thatonejessica,2018/01/15,"I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and I’m so relieved to finally have answers. After a few years of considering that I’ve only ever been depressed I finally understand what is wrong with me. I’m reading through old journals and I can almost pin point each episode and determine whether it was mania or depression. I HAVE ANSWERS!

My manic episodes  and then depression and sducidal gestures.  I finally understand. It’s a relief and scary. I joined the community about a week ago so I can understand my condition all the more.",4.004142455482666,7.091107371134022,5.244967197750705,73.16495782567951,78.38144329896906,9.300468603561388,36.653233364573566,9.573946990214177,4.743729896907217,433,27,67,14,11,143,65,97,0.197,0.7390000000000001,0.064,-0.9264,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,5,0,8,2,0,0,2,19,13,11,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,9,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,9,2,7,10,4,11,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,2,10,49,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437842583889038,0.0,0.1624241007251485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41911878326452495,0.1646338737387472,0.0,0.0,0.1859000942667637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14672300764423138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5330603991676106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17020604817686916,0.0,0.0,0.12336362211688708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533354214178393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16224811950658474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5065809551799415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13011044507822395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17734485650713816,0.0,0.1044542026579985
bipolarreddit,meggu22,2018/01/15,"Trileptal and lack of coordination I was upped from 75mg of Trileptal to 150mg 7 days ago and since I started taking the 150 I’ve noticed some coordination problems, like it’s harder to accurately direct the movements of my limbs and my motions are a little jerky. I wobble a little when I’m walking. I can’t contact the medical office today bc it’s Martin Luther King Day but I don’t think it’s really serious enough to call the office’s 24 hr crisis line either. Should I take my 150 dose today as usual or the 75 dose to see if it helps the lack of coordination decease?",3.0184615384615374,4.888241829059833,5.31146153846154,77.82103846153849,75.15384615384616,7.073162393162392,25.375213675213672,7.908726449838941,1.6090177777777774,462,16,86,7,10,162,75,117,0.127,0.826,0.047,-0.8334,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,8,0,5,3,0,0,0,13,11,8,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,1,1,9,1,11,9,5,14,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,3,9,49,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881283020593802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167096513478957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737404391171394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192894044646904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422526997549355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368442370983397,0.4254186483654845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137985020722959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416242499420198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20307459741537956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13595940318183913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691191243677496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17555811404198265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15021685736629256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3191397590257894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13598784513120546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4023367645638862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23374038267316816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolarguy321,2018/01/15,"Anyone Else Catch their Episodes with a Sleep Tracker? After 2 years of stability I had a manic episode last year and was wearing a sleep tracker which seemed to document the episode pretty well, in terms of how sleep dropped as mania rose.

I wrote about it here:
https://medium.com/@bipolarguy321/going-manic-with-a-fitbit-6e7209d4bb54

Has anyone else had a similar experience and care to share their sleep data?",14.626510416666667,14.508364046875002,10.430000000000003,58.28166666666668,49.15625,11.658333333333333,40.08333333333333,10.504223727775694,4.1319333333333335,345,12,49,5,3,96,48,64,0.0,0.8270000000000001,0.173,0.8767,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,0,5,0,4,5,5,1,0,6,7,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,4,3,9,3,1,8,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,5,29,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473623182758896,0.3624764001772249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803446673854608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2955271806791929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1730261486446043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418378112406274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17995426040855447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610282294720894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.708045563341433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15903964204695853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22781453936730856
bipolarreddit,Wombat_33,2018/01/15,"Not bipolar. Asking for advice about my daughters mother who is bipolar. Hi. 
Need to clarify that I am using my wife's account to ask this question. I'm not a person who likes or enjoys social media (I'm an old fart) so please understand I'm only borrowing her account for this. Thank you. 

I hope someone can help me out with something I need to know. 

When my ex (daughters mom) is dealing with a common cold or flu she tends to go into almost a bipolar mania with borderline psychotic actions. She lashes out verbally and sadly physically. Last time a week ago she physically went after our 10 year old daughter. I had to drive to her house after my daughter called me terrified locked in the bathroom as her mother was kicking at the door. I have my daughter now, getting her therapy, and have a 3 year no contact order for my daughter and I against her mother. 

So when my ex gets sick with normal winter illnesses why does she spiral downward like this.? 

Then she blames anyone and everyone that it was there fault. My daughter was asked if she could go and get her mother a glass of water and my daughter said ok but could you please wait a few minutes so I can finish up my last bit of homework. Normally anyone would be ok thank you but not my ex. She started breaking things and basically telling our daughter that she doesn't care about mom and doesn't care about mom being sick and then into saying what did I ever do to you to make you hate me, just a glass of water and you couldn't even be responsible and respectful enough to go get it. 

Now my daughter is not a child that yells back or gets defiant (yet lol she's at least 2 years away from the hormones) and my daughter is very soft spoken and would help anyone who asked. Complete opposite of my ex thank the heavens. 

Plus my ex goes off and on meds for the last 14 years. She says she doesn't have a problem and if she did meds cure it and ya da all gone. 

Please help me understand the correlation between bipolar and colds/flus with a person who cycles back and forth and refuses meds then goes back on for roughly a month no more than that every few years. 

Thank you 


Update edit: 
For the record I don't plan on keeping the PFA order no contact for 3 years. That's what the judge ruled. I just wanted it for 3 months but with supervised visits for a few weeks leading into an actual custody order for my ex to have our daughter 50/50. But because ex was arrested (swinging at a cop and it was neighbors who called unbeknownst to me until the next day) the judge ruled this way. Yes I wanted to just get her out of my daughters life because I was extremely angry for a few years. It was for me. Not my daughter. It was so I could feel better. Thanks to my wife she's changed my view on how it shouldn't be a selfish want or desire. I had to think about my daughter AND my ex and how it wouldn't be a good thing for either of them if I stopped their relationship. So I apologize to everyone on here for being a jerk. My wife said I was being one lol ",3.694488914483156,5.1148094105960284,4.593452346674347,85.51654909300319,72.44370860927151,7.172703714367981,26.70659372300605,7.665016162671287,1.4549285632018427,2380,82,472,29,46,771,260,604,0.098,0.779,0.123,0.9563,0,0,1,0,0,0,48.0,3,8,2,3,26,23,2,0,31,5,44,11,0,5,2,91,89,48,0,21,20,33,3,2,1,4,9,5,3,3,28,35,2,4,6,0,3,9,15,6,0,1,17,10,79,17,72,57,10,74,1,1,1,0,99,19,0,10,43,330,107,4,0.0,0.0,0.06665043720112282,0.0,0.0,0.0667414584230401,0.060543365376008275,0.0,0.06839206034275534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14326974701035286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554031648473268,0.0,0.06416960689114881,0.15755424573594692,0.0,0.08326945445167712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0604053370785804,0.07456533943776872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13948280464384089,0.0,0.1392717373773612,0.0,0.07225179044289869,0.0,0.0716107021472515,0.0,0.0,0.16359472433573716,0.0,0.0,0.04404751236851863,0.07041376173229916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05976933255527375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07057161730722714,0.0,0.04511116038854128,0.06178078713488073,0.0575452550764058,0.13052615430219214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03453426772383363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21410194654766335,0.0,0.1164485001660602,0.05728636083260704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743159341984316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13733909915800316,0.0,0.0,0.06783679147503913,0.0,0.07880842635581436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060707713299064624,0.0,0.0,0.03753560635505301,0.1670195686119102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04824194043680678,0.06673534901180317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04559043122914437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275959656839668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2399745658582137,0.10903198179898416,0.0,0.0,0.1012863935019818,0.0,0.0,0.07263726859434648,0.0,0.13383797214989593,0.0,0.0,0.14333762373494852,0.0,0.046281493196730805,0.05194482992518532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11927293770669722,0.0,0.2249169472830382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06535337541091722,0.0,0.0,0.07651104527187959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332807789610625,0.0,0.0,0.1299368860356272,0.10862897084777624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06962271561120659,0.05786992519337696,0.052580274179207916,0.0,0.0,0.04834272133223511,0.0,0.0,0.0571014209919705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059696753289863534,0.3144049103322749,0.07810640426941891,0.0,0.09075027528342214,0.043763547028005965,0.0,0.0,0.039825974268901485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220432846471392,0.0,0.05898881898230372,0.0,0.05635422139708319,0.12085440327948364,0.05421294573688733,0.10957144132286853,0.0,0.0,0.06331429941095118,0.061629654658029324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970359776582846,0.0,0.0,0.3078783671599477
bipolarreddit,Quibblicous,2018/01/15,"Well, I’m bipolar. Hey folks. 

After a very shitty year where I lost our house to foreclosure, our savings, and nearly did in my loving family (wife and two daughters, 13 and 10), I’ve  been diagnosed as bipolar. 

The psychiatrist has me on a mood stabilizer and an antidepressant for now, which seem to be helping. They’re still making a full assessment so we’ve got a ways to go as yet. 

My wife has been amazing — despite the shock of the foreclosure and all the monetary problems she’s stayed with me and helped me find well recommended doctors and therapists for help. 

We’ve been going through couples counseling as well to help us get on the same page — the couples counselor suggested I might be bipolar, which started us working through the diagnosis process and into treatment. 

My kids haven’t been told of the diagnosis yet, and we’re not sure if or when we will tell them, or how. 

Personally, I’m a little freaked out. I’ve already been diagnosed as ADD, which seems to also be correct, but that seems a lesser issue since I am able to hyper focus and accomplish a lot. Or maybe that was a combination of hyper focus and manic episodes. 

I’m having trouble coming to terms with who’s right now. It’s been a hard blow, and has fractured my self image. I’ve always considered myself in control of my mind and actions and now I really don’t know what I’m in control of any more. It’s been surreal and I’ve been feeling a little lost. 

I don’t have any specific questions at this time; I partly wrote this to just make the diagnosis more real.  

Any comments anyone can provide are welcome. I’ve got so much to learn. ",5.695,6.377103436305733,6.4667579617834425,76.66255732484079,67.18471337579618,9.33732484076433,33.215923566878985,9.3871,3.0327151592356687,1285,55,237,24,20,424,177,314,0.065,0.845,0.09,0.7757,0,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,5,0,1,6,16,15,0,0,20,0,26,7,0,5,3,53,49,29,0,2,7,3,2,0,0,2,6,0,0,3,11,22,0,2,8,0,0,4,4,6,3,1,16,2,22,8,34,28,10,32,0,2,0,1,27,14,0,10,12,159,33,4,0.10247411576244693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308273492417167,0.08194851335235051,0.085266673344614,0.0,0.0,0.2090577381168732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07165228438297126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827237705103673,0.0,0.0,0.2298668687570188,0.0,0.2267713200046305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20801814087138548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048865996829423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660347637808307,0.0,0.05181399193216247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936594853317404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053538496022723966,0.0,0.11647680300944607,0.0,0.16391582312771424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09179667975554376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747449589356568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11824137115171734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695635324489083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05631709409339241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20541196982024665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237252049363068,0.08711982871217458,0.09248689033220577,0.0,0.136804535991966,0.0,0.10294902274068607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870884297372284,0.10346964483337576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533026590827703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11096948134104813,0.0,0.0,0.08947644527286487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980538893530344,0.0,0.0,0.11479446195705832,0.0,0.0,0.11663797817668295,0.06564754255712253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751233495207368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798657589945085,0.10690285151445324,0.0,0.0,0.08476764749698958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07253170656803921,0.10922377278781564,0.08183596121910176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658064137476036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895668939058632,0.0,0.0,0.11898034659198325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059753480976092316,0.0,0.0,0.0979184090427734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010232102852122,0.0,0.2465274879142765,0.0,0.0,0.0845518774616028,0.0,0.08133918331475823,0.0,0.0,0.27640961015100624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746023767358897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06598997080515735
bipolarreddit,2sl333py,2018/01/15,"I stopped taking my meds and I regret it I feel really panicked. I thought they weren't working and that the side effects outweighed the benefit of taking them. I was wrong. I'm just sped up, scared for no reason. I can't stand to be apart from my SO while he's at work right now. There's a knot in my throat. I couldn't remember what this felt like, and I feel so dumb for forgetting. Please do me a favor and don't make the decision to stop taking your meds. At least not without a medical professional's advice.",1.4283704974271032,3.6497566226415152,2.9738421955403105,90.90503430531734,81.83018867924528,6.496054888507719,21.900514579759864,7.686295010490155,0.9208226415094348,406,13,87,7,11,133,75,106,0.209,0.6940000000000001,0.097,-0.9029,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,2,3,5,7,1,1,6,0,7,2,1,3,0,21,16,7,0,2,3,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,2,8,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,4,3,15,3,11,10,1,13,0,1,0,0,4,7,1,0,6,56,19,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847378409876028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911791024688333,0.0,0.1815180095381839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09236046518380152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619259503712646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4199847022764472,0.19044836630677384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20752054382361265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111051279147625,0.19437527445160774,0.0,0.0,0.21415722463332731,0.16144798950246705,0.0,0.0,0.1892724080659548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3161091615504529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4264270689986859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15008488266908473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18223781771189296,0.0,0.2752618529196177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20669691026192846,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Lawlbooobz,2018/01/15,"A poem to me, by my bi-polar father. My dad died from suicide due to his uncontrolled disorder. While going through his art, I found a letter addressed to me. This was written while I was a little girl. If this doesn't belong here, I'm very sorry. I'm just missing him, and maybe his words can bring comfort to anyone going through a tough time.

""There once was a guy who was tired all the time and sometimes he let the weight of the world wear him down so much he had a hard time remembering how much he loved the most simplest and best things there were, like the joy I feel when I think about Megan Elizabeth.

I wish sometimes when I was the most dead man walking-est I would just think of how much I love you and how happy I can feel just because you're my daughter.

I love you forever and more than that.

And that's the truth.""

So all of you struggling, I know it's fucking hard. Please, please just keep trying. Someone loves you. I love you. ",2.723125,4.395515062500003,3.1639583333333365,93.751875,75.45833333333334,5.841666666666668,22.9375,6.322622252153567,0.3118687499999995,740,21,161,5,16,229,112,192,0.14400000000000002,0.649,0.207,0.9573,0,0,0,0,0,1,25.0,0,5,0,1,15,16,1,2,13,0,12,9,1,3,3,30,33,16,3,3,5,3,5,1,0,1,1,0,1,3,7,6,1,1,7,1,0,3,1,5,0,0,9,5,27,11,14,22,9,14,0,1,0,6,26,3,1,3,9,105,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357776236722526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286403607707767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543877098045209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405268555724484,0.0,0.13699109168916546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208753507943364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13105785940780595,0.0,0.11050303951764172,0.0,0.0,0.13586266853944384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835293618106606,0.0,0.12724130957419874,0.21414979725426486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062432566925708,0.0,0.0,0.06569025325407264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12222694889733846,0.0,0.05839604582535435,0.1197998985577374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5393999234521109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200833864914989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636036708679512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729495063356155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.262414858190894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13540355257664746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012769050748375,0.0,0.2364353414224316,0.13380342001350976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495812140004027,0.0,0.13074580494652768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941004748738112,0.15317927518595806,0.0,0.0,0.2090957298838572,0.137381505687206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811526423999116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09862430462674872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14555465427449168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745295493932094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491028340975693,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LickingTheLimeLight,2018/01/15,"Just Some Thoughts I was on risperdal up until last year right before exams ended my senior year. I ended it in April due to lactating. I was on 4mg and it helped in every aspect. I did hate being tired, the constant headaches, heart flutters, high blood pressure, and gaining weight. It helped with my paranoia so much. It helped with my anxiety a lot.

I switched to Abilify but I couldn't afford it on insurance, so I switched to lithium. I haven't seen my doctor since I quit my restaurant job and have become a stripper. I'm on lithium, but my paranoia wasn't going away so I took a 2mg risperdal last night. 

I can't sleep when I miss a dose of lithium. I had missed 2 doses and I can't swallow the pills because they are too big for me. I usually break them and put them in yogurt, which makes it bearable. Has a metallic taste, but it's okay. Better than swallowing a whole pill. The scary thing is I can't tell if I'm going manic anymore because since I was in the hospital at 16, I don't get that high manic I was. I don't even talk fast like I used to. It's more of being highly emotionally unstable. It's more where my thoughts feel like dough in a mixer moving really fast and I can't control the settings. I did a mindful meditation video and that helped a lot.

 I'm fine right now, calm, but damn, I hate paranoid thoughts. I hate thinking ""He's only talking to me so he can get dirt on me. He doesn't like me as a person, he's faking it so he can make me lose my job."" 

There's so much stress I have and I don't have ativan nor do I want any because I'm trying to rely less on anxiety medications. I haven't had ativan in a few weeks, I found one and took it back then but it's been over a month since I ran out of my script. 

Money has also been tight and I haven't been able to afford food up until last weekend, I was living off of noodles, potatoes, and oatmeal, so I didn't want to take my lithium. My job is tricky because when I stay up late I HAVE HAVE to take the next day off because if I keep messing up my sleep cycle, I'm super unstable. I will get aggravated at small things. I will get emotional, and overthink. That's basically it when I'm off my meds. I don't really get all that delusional, but maybe I do? For example, when I'm smoking a cigarette I have to pick up a specific one because if I don't pick that specific one then things will be bad. Or if I don't hold something a certain way, things will go bad or so i think. I keep overthinking things. I'm paranoid that everyone around me that tries to talk to me doesn't really care for me unless I already know them. For example, at work, if someone tries to talk to me, I don't trust them, which is standard in my line of work, don't trust anyone. I don't like people talking to me and it's weird because I'll be having a bipolar episode or so it feels when I miss meds but I'm sleepy, I'm so so sleepy but if I stay up past 12, all hell breaks loose. I can't sleep, my whole schedule is messed up. I have to sleep before 12 to keep myself normal which is hard with my line of work.

I know I should find a new job but then again, paranoia and fear of rejection. More fear of rejection than anything. Living in fear from high school and the bullying. How people were mean and I just relive high school when I see them, but that's a battle of confidence i need to work on myself.",1.7061058282906425,3.3565415035260955,3.3826736885208604,91.17833648027666,78.25246826516221,6.3231357204604395,23.28315664952909,7.1686216300943375,0.7354473178943532,2622,84,582,31,62,872,277,709,0.199,0.743,0.058,-0.9985,6,0,2,0,0,0,77.0,0,0,6,10,29,36,6,5,25,1,64,19,6,7,3,81,116,62,0,12,22,0,5,4,0,5,8,0,0,1,31,21,5,6,12,2,1,8,23,23,0,3,23,8,92,13,73,83,14,94,1,6,2,0,22,42,2,12,42,369,123,13,0.05721886909403508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06314244488258214,0.04575790894189183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03891079310257097,0.0,0.08754455648400998,0.0,0.056745742972504724,0.040008763675521836,0.0,0.047086253900780535,0.05093692459840207,0.0,0.0,0.05375901104383728,0.043997778423305885,0.09555073131952108,0.24416064059367285,0.06319374545612873,0.0973780864603611,0.0,0.0,0.05060543987159808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583384504790904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618332701150009,0.06417582710815445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03690143696671725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05856593708882792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287270525631176,0.10135786911438084,0.0,0.0,0.0377925233926034,0.0,0.048209365041312784,0.05467508148011605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931614065699306,0.057863158897190764,0.040877171513649294,0.0,0.0,0.05229700974473269,0.0,0.06918928363244947,0.06273753659290215,0.0,0.0,0.14947248739951513,0.0,0.09755640574648757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05125686777698813,0.16947536151390602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780463537454491,0.15341040732694392,0.30227438365877746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271235942379601,0.15257627969701726,0.0,0.0,0.06289198810275892,0.13992304563709435,0.06454537661658252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11181699681051707,0.0,0.10105061941662116,0.0,0.0,0.06401327849634175,0.0,0.09729087267525292,0.0,0.0,0.07638807886413712,0.0,0.05748404474368597,0.062328122729672066,0.12711452898557862,0.05764199088190487,0.0,0.0,0.05777474651893361,0.0,0.04567155541100525,0.060814602537847005,0.08412490494314916,0.042427066415569294,0.0,0.05526234032436048,0.06085291641542327,0.0536960325322582,0.056062342995929104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631895960226855,0.04351752832700412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05462188500024803,0.07933671860459399,0.049961309458245146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057520767397194375,0.0,0.060859310491319936,0.0,0.0,0.10996761814355553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772920313543357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581710058558377,0.04559603051599096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14199611939419204,0.0,0.22904076750796085,0.0,0.04848136210112746,0.044049880889607325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197540248291515,0.0,0.0,0.0655440212248384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604293716518799,0.2299517978277305,0.05001181361193078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19006837066449667,0.07332708183757257,0.0,0.13627617195289285,0.0,0.06576467278791617,0.0,0.0,0.12714453783740706,0.11654356850891565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04941873146444347,0.06301850048614342,0.0,0.06749834296288207,0.045417674967715566,0.04589752539825635,0.06967716770345209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776564787974354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666240726955976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07369415140448991
bipolarreddit,MonksMoodStabilizer,2018/01/15,"Do you have phases? I do. I've noticed a structure and pattern of my phases as it relates to my level of brain activity from depression to hypomania. I hope sharing this will clarify these cycles for others. I have a lot of phases of interest. Sometimes they reoccur, sometimes they're one-offs. It's frustrating to be passionate about something, and then stop. But I know it's because my moods change.

I've come to some observations about my phases and even have a little theory about them, although it may just be limited to my case. Here's the theory:

My phases fall into four categories. At the lowest level, there is basic pleasures. Some basic pleasures I've had are baseball, harry potter, and Disney movies. Next there is high pleasure: e.g., classical music, jazz music, and Shakespeare. Then I have phases of personal development: losing weight, learning musical skills, learning Spanish. Finally I have the highest order of phases where I have a sense of duty: I've become vegan and buddhist out of this level.

I feel like these phases accord to a particular level of brain activity, from low to high. I think everyone falls somewhere on this dimension at a given moment. I also think healthy people have a smaller average range of categories of particular interest: some people skew basic to high, some high to personal development, some just are adept at acting on a sense of duty.

At least in my case, I run the full gamut. At a depressed level, I have basic interests (at a certain level of depression one my have NO interest, but I don't get that low). At a hypomanic level, I have a grandiose sense of duty. However, I feel like I have a natural balance. I feel like I have an ideal scope like anyone else, but I have no balance of brain activity. I feel at my ""most me"" when I am at a mix of high pleasure and personal development.

I've also noticed a pattern of logical progression from disordered to ordered interest in my life. Say I start at my healthy level: high–deveopment. When I approach a sense of runaway personal development, I become grandiose about that development. Then I may achieve a personal sense of duty to apply that development. Of course, my deveopment only goes so far, and my sense of duty goes farther, so I burn out. Then in a depressed mode, I land in basic pleasure. With higher mood after building basic pleasures, I ""grade them up"" to high pleasures, from which point I have more confidence in my ability to develop related skills. The cycle restarts.

This is very interesting to me, but all I've really done is describe a pattern of disordered mood change in terms of its effects on human interest and concern, and apply conceptions of general human interests and concern in doing so.

But I actually think I have a lifestyle tip for myself based on this theory. I'm at the high level of the personal development stage right now, and could approach an abnormal sense of duty. First of all, by recognizing this generalized progression, I can catch any slip ups early, and so can my support circle. But what really interests me is how I can adjust my personal development habits toward a more healthy progression.

Right now my personal development topic is math. Math is an extremely broad topic in terms of range of difficulty and scope. I could get frustrated with basic algebra, or I could obsess over an unsolved problem way out of my league. But I think about another personal development habit I had: weight loss.

When I lost weight, it was a development of daily regiment, one where I ate a little less every day and gradually lost weight. Normally, I have a seasonal peak of hypomania where I have that grandiose duty. After the regimented challenge of losing weight became difficult, I went to a modestly, fairly euthymic basic pleasure. The nature of the challenge didn't involve runaway progress because of how structured it was.

Applying that lesson to my math development, I could continue to over stress myself with difficult problems, or I could make it a daily grind. I could even get a tutor to make sure I stay on a good track. Perhaps I wouldn't have to go to a toxic level of stimulation and go hypomanic, and just cool off, adding a daily practice to my life.

Thinking this way has opened up some different options about how to deal with my moods, as well as who I really am. I see my doctor tomorrow, and I look forward to discussing these ideas with him.

---

Note about ""high"" and ""low"" pleasures: I didn't mean to call anyone's hobby ""high"" or ""low"". I think it's completely relative. I think something high for me could be low for someone else. I strongly believe whether a pleasure is high or low, at least in a mental health context, depends on the kind of enjoyment one gets out of it. It's something one can really know if one really asks themselves and is honest.",6.6930425963488815,7.852594651583715,7.573594944609145,67.91024886877831,65.15384615384616,10.847682945857393,35.49024808862537,10.815546143071897,4.330451380870652,3848,179,613,105,58,1290,338,884,0.081,0.77,0.149,0.9964,3,0,3,0,0,0,130.0,0,1,3,20,33,66,2,2,47,1,61,14,3,8,4,115,96,53,0,14,16,0,9,4,0,4,4,3,0,11,30,32,6,9,21,1,0,12,6,23,1,7,12,15,87,39,127,70,18,122,0,15,2,1,24,81,0,18,29,441,117,18,0.0,0.0,0.044189539244350665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07242537358880594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030793897626191676,0.04748302701188407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06332565720399627,0.04639764136702556,0.0,0.0,0.042333361378018734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05520802233066323,0.10002272238768972,0.0,0.05101827652882472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165194315581926,0.04623886300341677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958065232075412,0.03900717428518122,0.04747821718412023,0.0,0.0,0.2530827531594296,0.0,0.0,0.029203698552661327,0.04668464031259755,0.15600824391199716,0.0,0.0,0.04731095075107369,0.10379616140227277,0.04634892602526232,0.0,0.04634008766937363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565603794706242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059817803935247375,0.0,0.03815276259706462,0.04326971329944794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158549848681563,0.09705025272973096,0.0,0.049605159738617566,0.0,0.038517577596695066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463370150856718,0.0,0.05147058578181592,0.03798111455052653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04813356267481636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5741259336989596,0.0,0.04497609745681568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051118837109193564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047155130392233235,0.049772551231191925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06396924640488291,0.08849167231247608,0.09077064394004153,0.0,0.0,0.03802619763356537,0.10131987490139337,0.09886318180706466,0.038497868255050215,0.0,0.0,0.06045332137545845,0.0,0.0,0.049326309682529074,0.0,0.0,0.045634472253602607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048158835349668784,0.0,0.04436758835396282,0.0,0.10310967252156836,0.0,0.0,0.18410902725808045,0.034439655565851685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06278686698232376,0.3558532205203049,0.0,0.0,0.04280693942880116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665916290262103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14504679830016287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734263006433004,0.0,0.036010747805494986,0.0,0.0,0.036084576640956836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038368020342967636,0.10458287388165922,0.08957181287075296,0.0,0.03205144138879741,0.04826550370062025,0.0,0.03785849860547292,0.05187136315330588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05138645291978107,0.04267855966427287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031079977947141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037363101917796286,0.0,0.07188685307383633,0.0,0.2757116211287561,0.04071472940708454,0.041977664904224526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rumhan5288,2018/01/16,AMA Not ask me anything... against medical advice I took half my Latuda dose a couple days ago to see if it would give me more energy. News flash I slept horribly and have been feeling the effects ever since. Not sure if this is leading to depression or what because I rarely get depressed episodes but I cried and obsessed over the stupidest things yesterday. Anyone know if this is possible just from reducing one dose?,5.661731601731602,7.7039487012987005,5.505909090909089,78.44553030303031,68.48051948051949,9.28917748917749,33.612554112554115,9.725611199111238,3.5555385281385283,338,16,57,8,6,105,64,77,0.192,0.7509999999999999,0.057,-0.9059,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,1,3,0,5,4,1,2,2,18,13,7,0,4,8,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,3,0,2,3,2,7,1,5,9,1,7,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,4,4,39,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203395235210193,0.19987720667943096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576630604980427,0.0,0.18555341918568125,0.0,0.21079630629105808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745243474784424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494928155675672,0.24768265126092584,0.1454179773244984,0.0,0.3884166115932295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20396241738933624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11401105512537005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11780563885847342,0.21630398273077256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12391964177531073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271505505480446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152793217285893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25419837098810233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17968087632039328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18652199089930005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21251519941250432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14980098493358446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505200750969384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601767595944661,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ilovemeatpatties,2018/01/16,"Who here lives a normal life? So, I'm just curious. I live a decent life, but I can tell people sort of stop and go, ""What is up with that person?"" This is the case in more strenuous situations, but truly anywhere I go because bipolar. Work is good. At the same time, it might be bad socially speaking. I don't know.

How are your social and professional lives? I've found meditation/CBT to be most helpful. What do you guys do to help yourselves?",1.4353409090909108,3.888693670454547,3.262454545454545,87.34618181818182,83.88636363636364,6.247272727272727,22.43636363636364,7.554174236665415,1.0831781818181816,345,12,70,6,10,115,69,88,0.08199999999999999,0.731,0.187,0.8791,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,0,11,3,0,1,0,15,16,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,2,6,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,1,6,1,7,12,3,7,0,0,0,0,11,3,0,3,2,45,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593931768434912,0.11637061314200088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20931153800252408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21698526313198999,0.1601175119655204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18902059907822685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559119312538418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491341765014596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26967604026030795,0.0,0.0,0.5057034842660757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2025142885791128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870410582526848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13234573345584447,0.1666861514053846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21457912821625552,0.0,0.3891961659957329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15960059822347716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16685464865053545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111315081266424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13897716908486996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rubix_cube_Y,2018/01/16,Feeling down Hey y’all first time poster long time reader. Just wanted to post and get some advice. I was diagnosed as bipolar type 1 a year ago. And right now I’m feeling depressed after an episode of non stop energy and I know it’s going to take a while for me to come out of this spell. Anyone have any tips. I was seeing a therapist but stopped going when after I was leveled for a while. I’m on medication as well. Although I’m on medication I went through a manic phase of high energy through the month of December. I didn’t really notice. I’m bad at spotting my moods. I’m also just nervous because when I go through these episodes I make terrible decisions and I just got my life back together. I’m starting school tomorrow. Any advice would be great ,1.5082748538011683,4.060110236842108,3.3072807017543866,86.39152046783626,84.78947368421052,6.535672514619884,24.891812865497073,7.793537801064563,1.6807269005847951,604,25,117,12,18,201,101,152,0.121,0.778,0.101,-0.6181,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,1,9,7,0,1,7,0,7,5,0,1,0,20,28,13,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,3,6,0,2,4,0,0,5,1,4,1,1,6,3,13,2,21,20,1,33,0,1,1,0,2,8,0,1,19,70,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055987741388022,0.13860933427519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12504611324583567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21266895945652906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933498730784304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202360708893536,0.13055937045196256,0.09531947534897843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13469576451915513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13467810774619698,0.15870855331291606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15812704923663304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330051370520242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169496385961272,0.0,0.26659979974879544,0.0,0.12506045407731986,0.17239445240651946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652096334135846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08593485638231826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11044617699330857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13837929879445346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437575253282318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150452932054853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248101283931158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17802412535799308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14975573922276553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017228751439336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335360081490805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15825109375103455,0.1246037357761186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067690702848618,0.0,0.0,0.2614585396999029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756803483334158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1815533837691416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823569517812372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222892428018636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405921270939429,0.14495317260526247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107816835440533,0.0,0.0,0.10069480244151877
bipolarreddit,AwwFxxxIt,2018/01/16,"I fucked up There were a couple weeks in december where i stopped taking my meds. not because i didn't want to take them anymore, but i got lazy. i was also supposed to get my blood drawn but didn't do that either, i kinda forgot and when i remembered i already stopped taking the lithium. i see my psych tomorrow do you think he'll fire me as a client?",1.0692123287671222,3.348515698630141,2.6783390410958923,92.11285102739728,83.7945205479452,5.293835616438357,22.823630136986303,6.6274283507984215,0.6245356164383562,278,10,58,3,8,91,55,73,0.192,0.792,0.016,-0.8949,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,1,0,4,1,1,0,3,0,6,2,1,0,0,12,17,6,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,6,2,15,0,5,10,1,8,0,0,1,1,3,3,1,1,5,39,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555872260007169,0.1852183113244897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296947332442135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118721327839476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25627189090964997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21411957185276326,0.12100658594677748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18523955296504568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572663278102953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26236880751525604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845630617866819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3872724065351611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5224253432354202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14840623824785226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13660948882806825,0.0,0.18578344913080394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,McChubbin,2018/01/16,"[Rant] I KNEW IT! My medication is poisoning me! I originally posted this over in the /r/CasualConversation Weekly Chat Thread but upon reflection, realized it would be much better suited to this sub as it's pretty specific towards my disorder and I feel I'd get better advice here from people who are knowledgable of what I've been dealing with. 

From my original post:

>It'll be 8 years this summer since I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and got put on a treatment consisting of Depakote/Epilum (sodium valporate) for rapid cycling moods and mania. Over the years, I've constantly inquired about what sort of side effects I would experience on this drug and every single time, my doctors have been frustratingly vague and flippant, never sitting down and going through the effects in a thorough and detailed manner.
 
>As a result, I've had to do my own research and recently, I uncovered several side effects that NO ONE told me about:

>According to what I've read in numerous articles and medical journals, prolonged/long term usage of sodium valporate can apparently CAUSE depressive episodes and according to the many medical journals I've perused, it is not as effective against treating depressive bipolar episodes in the long run. Considering that I've been dealing with crippling bouts of depression over the last 7 years, this makes sense but no-one told me. NO ONE TOLD ME.

>It can cause pancreatic damage and liver problems on it's own. My pyschiatric doctor (the one who typically prescribes me this shit on a 3 monthly basis) has been constantly drilling it into me that all the times I've gotten elevated liver enzyme readings from my 6-8 weekly blood tests has been because I drank alcohol whilst taking this fucking medication. Not once has she ever stopped to inform me that this stuff causes liver problems all by itself regardless of whether you drink or not, let alone any mention of trouble involving the pancreas, which is typically characterized by intense cramping/pain in the abdomen due to organ damage and inflammation of the pancreas. This makes SO MUCH SENSE considering that all these years I've had near-daily cramping and aches in my abdomen that I always previously thought was due to IBS or my IUD being a dick.

>Apparently, it can increase the likelihood of polycystic ovary syndrome and something called hyperandrogenism which I have never heard of before now but is a condition to do with having too many androgens or male hormones/testosterone in the body along with uterine fibroids which also explains the agonizing cramps I often get regardless of what time of the month it is. Also, I was at child-bearing age (22) when they first started me on sodium valporate and whilst I have no desire to ever procreate, the fact of the matter is that all these conditions lead to infertility so I feel incredibly deceived by the doctors who put me on this shit because again, NO-ONE TOLD ME ANY OF THIS.

>I am absolutely steaming and yet I just know that if/when I raise these issues with my current psych doctor, she will no doubt laugh off my concerns like she always fucking does and dismiss my worries as trivial.

>I know it's dangerous to quit cold turkey but I honestly feel so betrayed right now considering all that I've learned. I ended up writing a strongly worded but teeth-grittingly ""polite"" letter outlining all these concerns so I can slap her in the face with it- not literally but y'know- and get my voice heard.

>I want to change my doctor and try to get one who will help me find an alternative course of treatment but giving that all this happened on public healthcare (which is often laughably crap at times here), it wouldn't surprise me if it ends up being a long drawn out process.

>Urgh. I'm so angry I could spit fire!",10.542382352941175,9.456413385294116,9.668676470588236,63.5915441176471,57.79411764705882,12.382352941176471,43.308823529411775,11.333407214811013,5.1185,3082,150,478,66,32,978,341,680,0.16899999999999998,0.759,0.07200000000000001,-0.9977,3,1,4,0,0,0,84.0,0,1,1,10,22,26,8,1,28,0,43,34,13,13,12,104,75,42,0,11,17,0,4,1,0,5,17,3,0,1,52,29,3,1,19,4,0,6,11,17,0,5,21,8,51,8,78,43,14,82,0,5,0,3,30,31,6,8,43,330,103,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615992647872435,0.0,0.07235538098344214,0.0,0.0701213084277815,0.0,0.10828631995803926,0.11267091852969725,0.0,0.0,0.09208258613995708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08254391070580237,0.0,0.057611431942503386,0.0,0.0,0.11975802610456054,0.0,0.07520429186639492,0.0,0.0,0.06913373125434344,0.0,0.0,0.20865311309131584,0.07162224585143602,0.0,0.0,0.1463287424306856,0.0,0.0540564300416064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396004645199998,0.17494102321369412,0.06871851006809399,0.0,0.0,0.1551901465891783,0.3464914562800942,0.05924855016614746,0.0,0.0,0.06632450697204076,0.07851557412394954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993195164493815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12248495706322154,0.057043851528125286,0.0,0.0,0.06622786500537935,0.0,0.0,0.1027000908096732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618805673272609,0.05758930227028865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12518319760677465,0.14149095506984236,0.06494820069427085,0.03847795354181559,0.0,0.0541493693518112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05987075051847152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04538081185537386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066577180737299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162565287578538,0.05518809767801745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06923230511793257,0.0,0.033076935150016994,0.0,0.0,0.1797487099263078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903863850003096,0.1372832084863427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728201184010778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10808196389607486,0.0,0.0995410037714112,0.0,0.1044355674916147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210294408671772,0.1835129324152888,0.0,0.07204222286160887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04693768516688472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12968414189050473,0.06887968413352462,0.0,0.12956787623418567,0.0,0.1361231832187614,0.0,0.07201193105936822,0.13544538290504304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684989715142589,0.0,0.0,0.05781916178363195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648666646541441,0.13899512509472509,0.05600575424402141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05212213152247605,0.0,0.0,0.04792150133803515,0.0,0.0,0.056603884660621925,0.0,0.0,0.07750530516486176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05090526009302053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053749706881228314,0.15791584971805112,0.0,0.0,0.2587777065777312,0.0,0.045966822786979465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039933791402039565,0.0,0.10861672299906318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06875707386703678,0.0,0.09619048338696487,0.0,0.0,0.1743975772178905
bipolarreddit,Romie94,2018/01/16,"Trouble breathing I have bipolar II and it's gotten a little worse in the last recent months than it has ever been before. I get this problem when I'm anxious that I feel like I can't get a deep breath. I take xanax for anxiety but when I feel like I can't breathe deeply or yawn that it's all I can concentrate on.
I've been to the ER for this before because I thought maybe I was having an asthma attack but my oxygen levels are always normal. It just feels like something is laying on my chest and I cannot for the life of me stop obsessing about it in my anxious periods, like right now. It scares me and consumes me, has anyone else had this problem? I'm 23 and perfectly healthy otherwise.",2.2512587412587406,4.206490489510493,3.5531468531468526,89.18048951048954,77.67132867132867,6.078321678321679,24.28671328671329,7.010146845296331,0.938255944055944,552,19,112,6,13,180,91,143,0.185,0.68,0.135,-0.5652,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,6,11,1,2,6,0,14,9,4,0,3,19,24,9,0,3,4,0,3,4,0,0,5,0,0,0,11,4,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,6,1,0,6,3,17,5,11,18,1,17,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,1,13,72,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13079154290269618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202470427146822,0.3551514179183232,0.0,0.10990827317814597,0.16105587742299438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17882203917923548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09581927243797793,0.0,0.26750782441194465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130893311498346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14218395239625894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384342563019711,0.3368816419754186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164246644669743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281277642778795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102528926339064,0.3071730266668855,0.1575419059383836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791470449608686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546455644803484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15400914057170315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008120048089975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15520244807477993,0.0,0.0,0.1342361893859702,0.0,0.0,0.1573708467536655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210096463251087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314147342661038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818448977451668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12478831601449282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16018620649339715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LordoftheCatsx,2018/01/17,"For the ladies out there- Bipolar and that time of the month? some stats: i'm 23, diagnosed with BP 1 with psychotic features, Major depressive disorder, severe panic disorder, PTSD & mild ADD when i was 21 but have been dealing with BP symptoms since i was around 14 or 15. i'm also extremely sensitive, to almost everything. 
 

So, i notice when its that time of the month or whatever (i've pretty much always noticed this), My moods get a bit dangerous. i'll be mostly stable the rest of the month but since i'm already a sensitive person when i'm on my period, i feel like my moods go to the extremes, really quick. right now, i keep having random extremely angry thoughts. i don't have anything to be mad about. but i just feel almost uncontrollably angry. its like literally my brain goes to polar opposites and its frustrating. I've been dealing with extreme moods while on my period for a really long time. i'm just not sure if its me or if Bipolar has an effect? Does anyone know if BP amps up the mood swings or am i just a moody bitch? lol. 

I currently am not on any medication due to some insurance problems. but i do smoke weed regularly (indica only) and it helps a LOT. more than the pills in my opinion, but i know i need meds, just need to figure out this whole insurance thing.

In the past i've been on MANY medications & honestly, none of them helped while it was that time of the month. Some of them made me worse (more depressed/triggered Mania). I've been told Birth Control helps, but i don't notice a difference. 
I asked my doctor and she says ""its very possible"" but i just want to know from people who have BP.

Sorry if this is an inappropriate question, I'm just curious, really. 

Side note: being an adult is an inconvenience, can i make a new character and start over? lol. 

Also, i notice i ramble a lot. my thoughts are always like this & they never really make sense. its even worse when i talk irl & i'm actually probably the most awkward thing on this planet. It's gotten a bit worse over the years, & i think my brain kinda has lagged out on me. idk. Sorry about that. anyways, hope everyone has a wonderful day!!!",3.2182958137134747,5.288310508353227,4.6818564148874415,81.66587047668196,75.18138424821002,8.348345481519706,24.212152486615487,9.068930737419137,2.008641824163065,1689,54,324,40,37,563,213,419,0.165,0.7290000000000001,0.106,-0.9755,1,0,1,0,0,0,74.0,0,0,3,2,21,20,4,3,26,2,26,10,2,5,2,73,56,29,0,9,23,0,2,3,0,0,8,1,0,2,21,14,0,2,12,0,0,1,6,10,0,0,12,3,36,6,38,41,16,46,0,1,0,0,17,17,1,23,31,203,57,1,0.0,0.0,0.06883703093894666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14127158264802034,0.0,0.07784283232161575,0.11282189784621426,0.11739014554675425,0.4585814720777401,0.0,0.04796973491629945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04932332740647336,0.0,0.058048549970901836,0.06279570719609502,0.06594553726424822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15402319304709006,0.0,0.0,0.15749231879281778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911679945195017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045492574377955806,0.14544763690799134,0.060756145552444386,0.07159678827437113,0.0,0.07369946454055852,0.16169029358471068,0.07220085362614004,0.06173017863172035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046591117384380605,0.0,0.0,0.06740415591670237,0.06339695685606346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133445947506417,0.05039391195314142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036854327687095616,0.0,0.04008960453645746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418447682396787,0.0,0.0,0.07006230581016315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06269934473183042,0.0,0.0,0.1163010988890278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338709266342608,0.0,0.0,0.06242583118887345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199414609644376,0.0,0.06674681498772958,0.09417222322399596,0.07151666124515299,0.0,0.0,0.07835422736533193,0.14212360130331184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22521796464089516,0.0,0.05185514182843936,0.1046092853397335,0.05440492821076618,0.06812813630464762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212418069454871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053648978383866716,0.0,0.08276369144057652,0.0,0.0,0.06733857460020176,0.04890367244069303,0.061592956084590075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952344346755848,0.0,0.07176471312353509,0.07605423464725873,0.06749741658183928,0.08245768454596354,0.0,0.07902113492006918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18075935821774708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06024092024582986,0.0,0.056096374916114834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969031428810497,0.0,0.1167031160827635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792789149904865,0.04992869580102145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648327595800446,0.07331824657600806,0.0,0.05669751709375403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372750982191032,0.0451992930170028,0.0,0.1120020320455574,0.1645301629244755,0.0,0.0,0.06740415591670237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058203028288401286,0.04160642023774352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875558131190598,0.0,0.0,0.07649780594601915,0.0,0.0,0.2156593806928936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045425557099752906
bipolarreddit,NeuErotic,2018/01/17,"I just... I can't. Living in the US with bipolar disorder and lapsed insurance is absolute hell. I can't get the medicine I need, nor can I get any kind of help. I am extremely depressed; I have no motivation to do anything at all. I can't even cry. All I do is sit in my room/office and just fantasize about self harm. Everything is so overwhelming at work and at home. I need to get things done. My house is a mess, I have loads of work orders that need to be completed, but I can't do it. I want everything to just be still and quiet. I don't want to kill myself, but I don't want to live either. 

Everything just sucks. ",0.7945684086905445,2.7177772061068737,3.0224427480916027,91.34127422196129,82.2824427480916,7.389547856723429,21.52730475631239,8.384062270229773,1.1490218438050501,478,15,111,11,13,163,72,131,0.16,0.757,0.083,-0.6848,0,0,0,0,0,1,21.0,1,0,0,3,8,8,3,1,3,0,20,1,0,1,2,21,30,8,1,6,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,1,1,19,1,15,27,3,8,1,2,0,0,3,5,2,0,1,78,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092597306651408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221605135799186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16845731206126555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17648622312277615,0.0,0.0,0.13838308906427993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841394158114296,0.0,0.0,0.16441911833363906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611968037112693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43319404056552985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25182715251374216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076923550593469,0.0,0.16116307622600104,0.0,0.0,0.1853892682741728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17775530634696005,0.16731096883795718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837455261295143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35739979680631506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16761173543274815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12830965017697618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674066155383978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19326378808333824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28429839837859217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23393639467923044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Erica2393,2018/01/17,Why I was looking around the internet and was a little angry. Why can't people who want to be open about their struggles get treated or get fired just because they have something that they can't control. ,8.246923076923077,7.5581922820512855,7.143205128205127,78.58096153846154,62.07692307692307,8.825641025641023,37.44871794871795,7.1686216300943375,2.7779641025641024,165,7,29,1,2,50,33,39,0.25,0.75,0.0,-0.853,0,0,1,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,3,1,3,2,0,1,2,0,6,0,0,1,0,7,10,2,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,2,4,1,3,7,0,3,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,1,0,20,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684751579650005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18384380589759106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3382539377129343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31513209705844913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022680389774409,0.0,0.0,0.2532559798971753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090815084315216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321753585128652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152827904248313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17788302329018146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5442682598604732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wowwww321,2018/01/17,"Zoloft inducing hypomaniA Hi guys. ive recently (11 days ago) started the antidepressant Zoloft, and it caused a hypomanic episode that lasted about 4 days. Let me just say, I have never felt so great in my life. It was such a relief from depression I just can't explain it.

so on the last day of the hypomanic episode at night I smoked some weed, and the next day it was gone. I don't know if the weed caused that or not. My question here is, do you think it would be possible to come off the antidepressants for a week, then start them again so I can experience that high again? or maybe try some other AD's?

Yes, I understand this isn't healthy as such, but I would do just about anything to experience that again. Please, if you have any knowledge or ideas with regard to this I would love you forever.

Thankyou",3.1537232142857166,5.1664620687500005,3.912142857142858,87.37000000000003,75.1875,7.821428571428572,25.17857142857143,8.634040054169528,1.6119196428571434,641,22,136,13,14,204,102,160,0.025,0.871,0.103,0.9209,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,3,1,0,14,4,0,0,9,1,17,4,0,3,1,31,27,13,0,5,10,0,1,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,12,4,0,0,9,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,4,2,16,3,14,18,2,25,0,1,0,1,10,5,0,8,18,92,28,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12924791389670842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09915284386897166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11998562889971966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2995651391121651,0.0,0.12559865946877413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3761303357098481,0.0,0.12558219520189834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28525181291815405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399962921751566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160751247074536,0.0,0.14437051991487085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15405167758725585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16459683461245894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801309736931326,0.23770213508890806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14909615873763246,0.10298684463710654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131595294385744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14648137596175284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112454308159034,0.0,0.15506596600086714,0.1368287281120065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16005082228144696,0.0,0.16437396595624326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16333570045258433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14396549212546333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595050740592908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064039831772314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342637501171558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899246739275362,0.0,0.0,0.15178882679381034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11695649990451575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31072845738017474,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,aryeh86,2018/01/17,"I'm graduating from Law School! It only took me seven years (I took a three year mental health break in the middle). It's been a huge mountain to climb, but I made it! ",0.3047142857142866,2.489243400000003,2.31964285714286,94.01660714285715,86.42857142857143,4.642857142857143,14.464285714285715,5.985473137389443,-0.8274285714285718,129,2,29,1,4,43,29,35,0.0,0.928,0.07200000000000001,0.3036,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,3,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,4,0,3,0,3,1,0,9,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,16,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3170542505366442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28223668475185376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30059282120355657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268529187822669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30187200793335844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6627929164290339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3841609113842273
bipolarreddit,Throwaway23949594939,2018/01/17,"Hey I think I'm on the verge of an episode. I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and basically this means when I go manic, things become hallucinogenic. As of late I have been doing good but not. I've basically been hiding from everything and I've been content with it. Well something happened that woke me up and I'm scared. I don't want to go through psychosis again. I don't want to have to deal with the horror of it all again. I don't want my parents to have to go through it again and I don't either. I loose it when it happens. One time I thought I was the reincarnation of Jonah....and most of the time I was fighting off imaginary demons thinking I was possessed and condemned to hell. It's a nightmare. I just want to be happy and healthy. I am going to be. I want to be a good person. And have a good heart. And I wanna have a head on my shoulders. What action should i take? I do not like my doctor. I just don't really have any connection to him. I want to get this sorted out myself. I don't want to involve my mom and dad. I'm 26 years old. It's time to step up and do this for me.",0.2941025641025625,2.4954981538461567,2.313076923076924,93.91525641025645,86.69230769230771,5.347008547008547,20.632478632478627,6.775458762138228,0.3106478632478637,864,28,195,11,27,288,112,234,0.16699999999999998,0.7340000000000001,0.1,-0.8934,1,0,1,0,2,0,28.0,0,0,0,0,8,9,2,1,9,0,28,5,3,0,1,36,51,14,0,9,6,3,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,13,14,0,0,4,0,0,6,8,3,1,1,9,0,30,6,33,38,3,24,2,0,0,0,9,7,1,2,12,138,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803086642868158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296804875480695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334579138216603,0.0,0.1313896630094193,0.0,0.0,0.14836163533325625,0.13249820355875838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634187786776165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06763261051165828,0.0,0.29427910146140146,0.3257311363176749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289455265240205,0.13780260115896478,0.0,0.0,0.13285369134442682,0.0,0.0,0.15339961804858807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14602594741631972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632430382794778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14100968418461002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15161101154939485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13583665866728942,0.0,0.0877190960776891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14373960349610335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303129565946075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292938738751444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12960266196952291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09965741820194716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733076229972344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860012454959594,0.16589347150628622,0.0,0.10276933925054077,0.22645110747170846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5344733424607511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163916614136718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833619605460451
bipolarreddit,unevenbananapancake,2018/01/17,"Monitoring moods on an app Hi everyone!
I wanted to know what apps or other similar things you are using to monitor your ups and downs. I have tried emood for a little bit but I just don’t think it’s capturing whats going on. I’d love to give another one a try or suggestions of how I can make the most out of them.

Thanks",0.8368322981366418,2.842256782608697,3.4745755693581764,87.70826086956524,82.62318840579711,8.000828157349899,20.002070393374744,8.841846274778883,1.3506505175983443,254,7,57,7,7,89,58,69,0.0,0.851,0.149,0.8988,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,1,0,2,3,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,3,0,13,13,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,7,2,11,13,2,7,0,0,0,1,7,6,0,3,0,39,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013129571576654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31371326340594835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745765400836373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756536096888834,0.16330840075417585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792079339211412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880015541325341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593458226983525,0.0,0.19180926511996735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947167192628968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645545267946117,0.0,0.0,0.19090347625863668,0.18412314970863455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3901854244371031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.248179315576586,0.0,0.0,0.16948727802872174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Reaper_of_Souls,2018/01/17,"That burning passion... I'm sitting here in my living room, watching the log in my fireplace slowly burn. There's something oddly therapeutic about this, and I'm not exactly sure what.

I was an angry kid. Just... I was BAD. There was so obviously a problem, but not one they could really do anything about. You can't really help a kid whose primary problem is ""thinks everyone wants to hurt him"". Doctors tried to fit me into these neat little diagnostic labels, even though nothing ever really fit. They tried to give me all these medications, even though nothing ever really worked. And when I only got worse, this only confirmed my original hypothesis.

I'm still angry. At a society that doesn't believe victims of child abuse, sexual assault, violence... ANYTHING. I'm angry that I was given such a rough hand. Some might call this a ""sense of entitlement"", whatever that means (""Other people have it worse!"" said the better-off person.) But... fuck. I'm not demanding anything other than wanting to stay alive.

I know what I need to do. I need to find a psychiatrist. A therapist. Probably a medication change. I've just been dealing with so much shit in my life that I've completely neglected my mental health. I've pretty much destroyed myself just trying to survive. Because I've been doing it all on my own and it's just... too much right now.

A few years ago, I heard someone describe anger as a motivating force. I never understood this. To me, anger has only been a force of destruction... not unlike fire. If my anger is a small spark, my brain's reaction to feeling it is the equivalent of dousing it with gasoline.

Yet kept in a small confined area, with a watchful eye, a fire can keep you warm. It can be a light in the dark. It serves a purpose. Fuck, sometimes it's just beautiful. And if I have a choice, I'm not going to freeze to death or live my life in the dark.

I didn't even know where I was going with this post when I started. Strange how you can find meaning in everything around you.",3.4709673790776168,5.7722423884514455,4.667502062242222,80.9875748031496,75.24671916010497,7.713865766779152,27.158680164979376,8.591530228387361,2.226246284214473,1574,62,286,32,35,517,208,381,0.212,0.6709999999999999,0.117,-0.9937,0,0,1,0,1,0,77.0,0,4,2,3,29,19,10,0,24,0,26,13,4,3,8,58,55,17,1,9,15,0,7,0,0,1,6,2,1,4,25,10,0,4,10,0,0,2,9,15,0,1,15,13,33,4,34,37,8,37,0,2,3,3,18,20,3,5,12,192,58,3,0.0,0.11000015034324837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229700722043433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22919808614783505,0.08264723187090495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751747390582286,0.0565943671258725,0.0,0.0,0.1045988227836925,0.0,0.08210938441949654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10364007963561812,0.0947999612311726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982123488319469,0.0,0.09734091316318047,0.0,0.0,0.0741251394834547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571390393830513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502561492432618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18395971891359988,0.16795808602136933,0.0,0.08871254345005213,0.08343855379844596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04694266436247668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697080506766005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171658061334146,0.0,0.08906053233550104,0.10552615742954867,0.0,0.07425258295922854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868451728913888,0.0,0.0,0.062228656351573576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938707840928296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252040646701456,0.0,0.0,0.10204480864386484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311511937203584,0.0,0.09305001212733804,0.16395873994100646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20225982828492264,0.0,0.18705294924958346,0.09356082566577972,0.09848850742150636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20474411970601372,0.13767928171147736,0.07160388691402049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17816485711615854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291074762905688,0.211826878975144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06436352636213451,0.08106425662571623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891500140711225,0.09445159789582896,0.10009716024102808,0.1776705729742378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23790257739763326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928480346795741,0.08831204527418192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529886664025584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866298184627507,0.07147272334308401,0.0918210768604514,0.0,0.06571258901493038,0.0989550257601211,0.07414209785879014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750054691605166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779432866533653,0.0,0.0594880863227145,0.1824295439001878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189096679973514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951880675438704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06758858372350372,0.0,0.18922366551376527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05978587897361515
bipolarreddit,umokrude,2018/01/17,"Bad inpatient stories? I’ve been hospitalized twice as a teenager in a youth ward and twice as an adult. The last time was at Fairfax Behavioral Hospital in Kirkland, WA and it was abusive as hell. Everything about why I was there was horribly exaggerated, and they lied about me when I went to court so I got legally committed to two weeks unless a doctor signed me out. They literally said because I took so long with the strip search (because I’ve been raped quite a few times but you know, they didn’t mention that part), that I couldn’t handle interacting with anyone right now and I was still obviously in an extreme crisis and I might injure someone else. I wasn’t even in an episode lmao, I was fine after two days of being there, and I’ve never been a violent person? But go off I guess. A lot of other shitty things happened and they got my hopes up and said I could leave one day, but then they were like “nah you’re gonna stay for another few days for no reason” I told them it’s illegal to hold me when I’m not in a crisis and they were like “haha ok try to leave then”. When it was my day to leave, my case worker “lost” necessary paperwork and then went on a two hour lunch and my psychiatrist “didn’t have time to write my prescriptions”. I ended up leaving the facility at 7pm when my exit time was 2:30pm.

Not trying to bring up bad memories, but I’m curious to know if it’s more common to have extremely negative experiences rather than positive ones.

So, does anyone have any super shitty inpatient experiences?
Also, where is the facility located? (If you’re comfortable)
",4.373762541806023,5.763634525641031,5.5850501672240815,79.18168896321072,70.73076923076924,9.272240802675586,27.66778149386845,9.653516015845867,2.5149953734671127,1260,44,245,30,23,420,175,312,0.182,0.69,0.128,-0.9525,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,7,4,17,14,3,0,15,2,24,4,0,1,3,39,43,32,0,6,10,0,0,2,0,2,2,2,0,2,8,14,1,1,3,0,0,5,9,6,0,7,25,2,30,8,36,13,5,48,1,1,0,1,16,16,1,6,28,165,38,3,0.0,0.1224219422592042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262809657484929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026380454504846,0.10834413264829994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444929659272434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17254230444168642,0.1259705977284607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824957376647434,0.0,0.0,0.2665415066329789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10575640403318104,0.09041945329650633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631387178548901,0.0,0.09151431950746976,0.0,0.0,0.06824447062598174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286087140272548,0.20214122809718035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058721361340706726,0.0,0.16527514544782412,0.0,0.11382293994531642,0.0,0.0913689957838798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262396008671716,0.10175324212341308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356824179483985,0.08422278024571278,0.0,0.43762042388115097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095769042792094,0.0,0.0,0.09143841234208697,0.0,0.0,0.11279025746459667,0.08784229665598217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10961034445068744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968977207730554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002991613548255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11188972985616782,0.0,0.0,0.09021845618348164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098977007699691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062341920099448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823805787445807,0.1965694060164839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754601690517233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11012954447845594,0.08251461106845827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864381721216375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409960202961685,0.0,0.0,0.09873042753142036,0.1147966700656612,0.1403003102867767,0.0,0.3027973508346985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288021128696553,0.0,0.0,0.19156460659135752,0.09323376124165543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,chassometimes,2018/01/17,"Meds or anxiety?? SOS Hi friends. 
I’ve been experiencing muscle tension and spazzing in my legs that shoots throughout my whole body over and over again. It gets stronger as the attack goes on for sometimes hours and then just disappears out of no where.  
I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this and what it may be from? I’m prescribed Latuda, benztropine, trazodone, and propanoral (spelling may not be right in some of those) 
Please help! These attacks make me feel like I could murder myself and everyone around me. They make me feel like there’s no reason to live like this. I’m not sure if the episodes are anxiety inflicted or a horrible side effect from the meds. ",4.787418181818183,7.231665720000002,4.22901818181818,84.98250909090909,71.8,7.4254545454545475,28.963636363636365,8.296473431620573,2.11108,545,22,99,9,11,163,91,125,0.2,0.677,0.123,-0.8832,0,0,0,1,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,1,5,9,3,1,4,0,8,2,2,4,1,27,17,12,1,3,7,0,2,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,8,8,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,4,8,5,14,11,2,14,0,0,0,0,4,10,0,8,6,63,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563912528176874,0.0,0.0,0.11717344235249433,0.1717020113505523,0.0,0.14917868611110907,0.0,0.3812851079037776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861398049568936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379626474625192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13998873114654087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16012660525793534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16946350975402313,0.2394334870596391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294692514162046,0.0,0.08755184752837819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232305042578823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16502917735290484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.245608359759606,0.0,0.14797319188522598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237173392258794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722796099137872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18394876452642644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17229663594294187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310948524449213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16573752433409014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579389451703498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18709326908826251,0.0,0.0,0.18172965463663696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,scienceofspin,2018/01/18,"They didnt tell me about my diagnosis so I found out by sneaking a peak at my doctor's notepad. 
""BPDNOS""
I thought to myself......""fuck.""",-0.7622222222222241,1.1506127777777806,0.938222222222226,97.95400000000002,106.40740740740742,3.641481481481482,20.214814814814808,5.6839178017228535,-0.11952740740740753,103,4,23,1,5,33,25,27,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,6,0,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,14,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4825711293877858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5169442408600967,0.0,0.4358678688504369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41208693273081337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3742957623314264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,save_that_thou_art,2018/01/18,"My Current Battle with Employment Discrimination This is a long story, so I'll try to keep it as brief as I can and only include pertinent details. For those that just want a brief summary""

**TL;DR the Peace Corps rejected me because I admitted to having bipolar, not thinking anything of it because I am high functioning and my doctor can clear me. I decided to fight this to the bitter end, since I am not my mental illness and they can't reject me based on their discriminatory and outright archaic assumptions about the condition**

I am a 23 year old college student that will graduate this spring with degrees in Biology and French. Three years back I was diagnosed BP II, and as most of you know it was a wild ride. By communicating with my psychiatrist and by making the right lifestyle choices, I have remained totally asymptomatic for more than a year.

Being young and hoping to join Doctor's Without Borders someday, I decided I would join the Peace Corps to gain the necessary public health program experience and to expand my French (I'm looking at West Africa). I spent a large amount of time working on my resume and statement, and kept in touch with my local Peace Corps recruiter. He gave me advice and assured me that I was a shoe-in for a position in Benin because of my health care experience and language experience (I work as a full-time Rec Therapist while finishing classes full time. Not easy, but incorporating the right lifestyle choices has helped my time management).

After I turned in my application, I was informed that I would have to fill out a Health History form, divulging any medical conditions that I had. Naturally I was honest - my doctor said he'd provide a letter clearing me medically, and my recruiter already said verbatim that I am ""extremely qualified""

What happened next blew me away. An automated email was sent to me after I turned in the Health History form informing me that my ""condition"" could not be supported in the country I chose. *Not one person from the organization would speak to me further about the issue*. I've been told dozens of times about how they're sorry, but they simply don't make those decisions. What's really shocked me is that *my resume and essay we're not even looked at because of admitting the condition*.

I have been hiding my mental health ever since my diagnosis. It has not affected my professional life or my work. I am high functioning, and need no more ""accommodation"" than a ""healthy"" volunteer (whatever that is). Having them reject me for checking the ""wrong"" box made me incredibly angry and hurt. But instead of accepting this, I've been fighting it for the past 2 months. I've called senators, lawyers, mental health advocacy groups, and have begun the informal resolution process with their Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. When they asked what I hoped to get out of this process, I told them that I want to be medically cleared, and that I want them to put an end to this discriminatory process. Odds are they will not give me an inch, so I am prepared to take this to District Court (there was a case in 1996 where a volunteer was rejected because she admitted to taking antidepressants. The court ruled in her favor, and this decision gives me hope).

The most exciting development will come the end of this month. Patrick J. Kennedy, nephew of John F. Kennedy (who coincidentally founded the Peace Corps) will be coming to my city to advocate for mental health rights. Patrick Kennedy was diagnosed with bipolar himself, so I'm doing everything in my power to go to the conference and talk to him, get him a letter, anything - if there's an offhand chance to get him to lobby the PC on my behalf, I need to take it.

I'm not giving up this fight until I receive my letter of acceptance, or until they tell me ""stop calling us or we will contact the police"". I will let you guys know the newest updates as they come up - if you have any ideas for me on how to fight this archaic government process, please throw your ideas here.

As always, never give up trying new things to get your condition under control. It is possible, and things will get better if you try.",7.430922196796337,8.124998426315791,7.575320366132723,70.1783295194508,63.42105263157895,10.977116704805493,36.39016018306636,10.802804408421405,4.150908466819222,3324,151,564,83,46,1077,355,760,0.067,0.8270000000000001,0.106,0.9676,4,2,0,1,5,0,100.0,2,6,11,8,18,26,6,0,42,0,55,19,0,7,7,104,109,46,0,15,20,1,1,0,0,10,19,3,0,2,37,34,0,4,19,0,2,12,14,13,0,3,23,7,96,13,92,69,10,79,0,5,2,0,66,33,0,11,34,391,133,26,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05835015574899367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06589399351819024,0.0,0.04968540621568094,0.0,0.0,0.08121280553061794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827624872947464,0.0,0.05582292775641068,0.0,0.05610165922232293,0.04591506286510345,0.0,0.1820002795560642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052810665362818386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194584247300365,0.0,0.06088065618743337,0.0,0.0,0.15431054382802015,0.0,0.0,0.06697240728250202,0.04767540231739282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212134286939246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18335416783881184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15866208814515562,0.0,0.0,0.03943940238771482,0.05401318216281658,0.0,0.0,0.05366555326361643,0.17523022365645727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547144060207731,0.0,0.0,0.15598602705623718,0.2291258668400306,0.0339358687587038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05912455205871148,0.05280337817009794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4442995814821084,0.0,0.0,0.04002388727908241,0.1261786192445699,0.0,0.17792332269656014,0.0,0.0,0.06392323820679569,0.13481580758290307,0.0,0.062324113863836385,0.0,0.053075024278205166,0.0,0.0,0.06563262262168873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06105985906426763,0.04217655419333178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05284349493774796,0.10028656427229644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056501209719471875,0.07971683046009125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18046154123162111,0.24070376316845266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953235555517304,0.0,0.0,0.0885518083622556,0.046053796861684135,0.057670498852316836,0.06350469462019499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06265800049357029,0.0,0.04046259102113014,0.04541388498401781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057002134504781136,0.0,0.05213846577724207,0.0,0.06554615983650178,0.0,0.06731663162955552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060027341055297063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03825322005737504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529819004455567,0.11360011778077547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987892416727342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684301655279082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04992214565122723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776079563784901,0.0,0.0,0.13468862556063946,0.04799447441014903,0.05219117074268633,0.0,0.0,0.06933056750335402,0.07934038035979929,0.03826122241780402,0.0,0.0,0.13927485891699296,0.0,0.0,0.11411529823898575,0.0,0.12162216971791105,0.12989964283026764,0.0,0.0,0.07182652905225555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10565956185151557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05756051380701836,0.0,0.13041376826549134,0.0,0.0,0.1272536863158091,0.06528601201650211,0.0,0.1153582652051105
bipolarreddit,Cityzza,2018/01/18,How long do your mixed episodes last? And do you ever feel they have triggers?,1.7880000000000005,4.557609466666668,0.7083333333333357,103.34250000000002,87.66666666666666,3.0,20.833333333333336,3.1291,-0.7256666666666667,62,2,13,0,2,17,14,15,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,5,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5696482843901539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3184223975425087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5133333254109239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5573122157796266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,itsyoungt,2018/01/18,A month’s sober ! I’m 31 days alcohol free! This is good especially as I am on Lithium as well as Keppra for epilepsy. Have any of you guys ever abused or even just drank alcohol while on your medication? How did that go? ,1.1773333333333331,3.5164809555555583,3.391111111111112,86.78000000000004,83.8888888888889,7.1555555555555586,22.333333333333336,8.238735603445708,1.3904666666666672,173,6,37,4,5,59,40,45,0.067,0.747,0.187,0.7135,0,0,2,0,1,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,1,1,4,7,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,3,4,7,5,0,7,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,4,24,5,0,0.0,0.3341561107278211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6028026067703284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19178816491900524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818842103800096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862763035957516,0.2551097458278811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028255523595333,0.23655103194953614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27925126504153136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841127299661267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2251114177545409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253576319988705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Creature_of_tea,2018/01/18,"Recently diagnosed with bipolar and I'm confused. My psychiatrist re-diagnosed me with Bipolar NOS. I was misdiagnosed for four years. I'm still questioning if I actually have bipolar though because anxiety is my main problem. I haven't really experienced full on mania(atleast I don't think), I only get very irritable and talk fast randomly for a short period of time. I get depressed for about a month then I'm fine. I can see some small signs but nothing that jumps out as being apart of bipolar. I guess I just don't understand yet. I don't know. 
Btw, My official diagnoses is bipolar, social anxiety, generalize anxiety, and panic disorder.",4.043589743589742,7.094646692307695,5.972991452991457,68.26923076923079,77.80341880341881,10.77948717948718,33.78632478632478,10.389873798559362,5.0258683760683756,521,29,82,21,13,179,79,117,0.205,0.7829999999999999,0.013,-0.9524,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,2,2,0,10,7,0,0,0,20,20,8,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,1,2,14,1,11,18,3,16,0,1,1,0,3,6,0,6,9,52,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.16626845667971366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3910257673510981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386341231688744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14674994573447755,0.5188030625621604,0.0,0.0,0.19527277112128616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17803534239983865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18769521072121967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363760541223844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135997452557913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16348632341694053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295833465891394,0.0,0.19990680971039648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16303276204465916,0.0,0.0,0.1908670663017468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091512050684482,0.0,0.16823187493325284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13577255999110166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736832039014878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13606745107369764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13694676449818444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917403889218656,0.16739965388026073,0.0,0.09935123542362424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17737388695332326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14058316513071675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097205554883814
bipolarreddit,_justgotwicked,2018/01/18,"Traveling abroad with meds? I know it's probably a bit of a longshot but I figure I will ask anyway...anyone have experience with bringing psych meds when traveling abroad? Specifically, to Spain? I'm going on a week's vacation there in a month from now - my fam and I actually chose it partially due to being seasonally affected- and it's my first time traveling abroad A) since 10th grade, so 19 years later, and B) on psych meds. I am on Lamictal, Wellbutrin XL, Ritalin, and Lunesta, and I'm not keen on the idea of avoiding the hassle by going off of them for the week. I looked at the State Department and Spanish Embassy websites and they talk about letters, forms, export and import licenses...all of which is SO not helping my anxiety. A good friend of mine traveled there post-9/11 and when a friend visited her there who was on psych meds, she said he got hung up at customs for hours.
Even after surfing multiple websites I'm not able to get exact clarity about if Ritalin is considered narcotic or controlled over there (I know it's Sched II here in the US), some say I need my prescriptions and a letter, some say just one or the other, some say it must be in Spanish and others don't...
I'm probably just overthinking it or freaking out more than I should, but I really just don't want any nasty surprises because I really want to enjoy my trip. 

Help?",5.245067854113658,6.381593667938932,6.120254452926207,77.10843935538594,68.42748091603053,10.097031382527566,31.731128074639532,10.25414643259724,3.35811636980492,1079,45,200,28,18,356,156,262,0.069,0.807,0.124,0.9559,0,1,0,0,0,0,40.0,1,0,2,2,16,8,0,1,14,0,12,2,0,2,2,42,29,21,0,6,12,0,0,0,2,3,2,4,0,0,10,14,0,2,4,4,0,10,5,2,0,2,3,5,22,6,33,21,6,39,0,0,1,0,20,14,0,7,14,132,32,4,0.12574805683194698,0.0,0.12271196409270743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551299073033065,0.0,0.09619691928887228,0.0,0.0,0.0879259651248495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11755745839796608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07665484829348876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13728430959930552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14103713831133174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305540557933183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300572874195415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069612329028295,0.0,0.0,0.19430527355364066,0.0,0.06569816963504485,0.0,0.1429310371254047,0.10547150399449036,0.10057220835211524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685725436783556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238365059623532,0.0,0.0,0.14195425005718446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821568687809505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559669728144587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5587109730804186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10037089925681893,0.0,0.0,0.09324059079304613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521013769461719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12043187847155296,0.0,0.27115534716801554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16111485033913078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961519806244784,0.2999997058505907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10402009205595086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107152482978476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332470317779398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15125942941896592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14833892387858422,0.0,0.2017350123694541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097762578778367
bipolarreddit,lostnfound21,2018/01/19,"UPDATE: I have a 2nd job interview tomorrow Today was a heck of a day. I applied for this radio station job last week with the expectation that I would work part-time doing the news and some office work. It's not my ideal dream scenario but it's a job in radio, which I love more than anything else.

I walked into the interview today and knocked it out of the park. So much so that the owner is going a completely different direction with me. He offered me a morning drive show simulcast on two of their stations. They've never done a live, local show on this radio station. Like...ever.

I wrote this in my initial post, but getting into radio was part of my therapy and mental well-being. The idea was that if I did something I loved that mentally/creatively stimulated me then I would be prone to having fewer episodes and just be in a better place overall.

This proved to mostly work. I was able to be creative to a point but I was still restricted by someone else's parameters. This new job would offer me the chance to build something from the ground up. It's giving me the opportunity to build my own brand. I've always looked at radio as a form of art and I've just been given a blank canvas. 

My wife didn't know how to handle me when I came home today. She hasn't seen me like this in over a year. My moods haven't really cycled; they've pretty much been low and lower. I feel higher than I've felt in a really long time. She couldn't stop smiling and hugging me.

I just wanted to share this news with someone. I've been under this dark cloud for so long and it's nice to feel good about something for once. Thanks for reading.",2.549746707193517,4.591746431610948,3.894294832826752,86.67526190476192,77.08510638297872,6.331955420466057,22.212867274569412,7.3011,0.8237938399189462,1292,37,255,16,30,424,176,329,0.054000000000000006,0.78,0.166,0.9915,6,0,3,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,1,6,10,13,0,0,22,0,24,3,0,2,2,46,40,19,0,8,8,1,3,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,18,15,0,2,6,10,0,4,6,1,0,1,16,5,31,11,41,17,8,42,0,1,2,3,15,19,1,3,19,169,49,10,0.10390938673998393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646093377508555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550857163346721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918994084647692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188446566540612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10894701503806012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701295823820272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856319315768466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633537920351514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17360591851994564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507941612694556,0.0,0.09976930643822424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05428836586986205,0.0996793520869046,0.05905409907708997,0.08715426365003631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422958715373827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730104973541786,0.0,0.0,0.4124561314321337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05710588148706795,0.0847000187941903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152975539059374,0.0,0.0917538921996208,0.1839130748543515,0.08725771461380663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875645568523063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047162220853156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277071044232396,0.0,0.08014132486437484,0.10035633321384883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066010564256204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22504747988716992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856319315768466,0.0,0.09822795695123042,0.0,0.09951646928944104,0.1057132024134123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393750609574888,0.0,0.13313402779509306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17608417237216656,0.2399835673972939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08298217047577791,0.08687290006896801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566580264378816,0.11882943953002127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060590399025237586,0.0,0.2954818464714574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150437222054504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128844849862077,0.0,0.08334984232522746,0.0,0.0934270176949228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269418133045944,0.0,0.0,0.22144274110240145,0.0,0.0,0.06691423825748374
bipolarreddit,kaityp12684,2018/01/19,"Off my meds for a bit, and I’m not doing well at all So I’m 25, and I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder 6 years ago. I am waiting for insurance to kick in with my new job, and unfortunately I can not afford to go to a psych in my new state until the insurance takes effect, due to moving into an apartment that isn’t affordable. 

Right now I think I’m in a manic episode. I’ve had a lot of really bad things happen in the past week or so, and for the past 4 days and nights I haven’t slept more than 4 hours total, and I cannot eat. Usually my mania is the typical delusions of grandeur, irresponsible spending, no sleep, etc, but that’s not what’s happening to me this go around. I don’t have control over my emotions and I’ve been in mental agony over the things I have going on, and the lack of sleep or ability to take care of myself have made it a lot worse. I’m not sure if this is mania, but while I do have insomnia, I still am usually able to get at least 5 hours of sleep at night. I’ve taken double doses of Benadryl, and I just ended up hallucinating and still not sleeping. 

Does anyone have any idea what might be going on, or possibly maybe some advice to help make it out of this? I’m scared of what is happening, and I’m almost to the point of checking myself into a facility, but I know if I do that I could potentially lose my job, and then I won’t have insurance or the ability to provide for myself. ",6.021950947603122,4.543093692307694,7.3779799331103675,77.6695562987737,66.92642140468227,10.782697881828318,30.970122630992197,9.888512548439397,2.6017329319955405,1110,33,242,21,15,385,155,299,0.109,0.835,0.055,-0.9117,4,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,3,8,6,0,1,15,0,25,10,5,4,3,51,50,26,0,4,15,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,13,18,1,2,4,0,2,5,11,3,1,0,6,0,25,3,45,40,11,49,0,1,0,0,1,21,0,11,22,169,38,3,0.10050417096954778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821151267987943,0.08909088348983013,0.0,0.10064040942858432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834628269416762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027485318027832,0.0,0.0,0.08947002028452268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391678469754645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097245243466821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247070055532134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1127239737854673,0.0802444024203608,0.0,0.0,0.06481687577274345,0.0,0.0,0.10200961793791223,0.0,0.0,0.11518648720412925,0.0,0.0879518773011076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284085779563633,0.0,0.11305366484915592,0.08901686426062846,0.0,0.11208871770882133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05250928117490709,0.0,0.2284753459260916,0.0,0.08038236675509405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666265194047479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06736582726388797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197952726762928,0.0,0.0,0.1134569756148836,0.0,0.0,0.1994697632785772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0552344639537221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11243845934362054,0.0,0.17089010419028836,0.0,0.09509947666057668,0.06708731454985083,0.0,0.10096994841764233,0.0,0.11163747690368064,0.0,0.10128456550401274,0.1066190428562511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068200282124423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941351092070382,0.0,0.1886327122313247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19188520694884534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500892738516196,0.11330335173898633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064385545479472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0858300128625333,0.0,0.0,0.10062220823490224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40230701551940096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16052552152562216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09472399172079192,0.0,0.15113325734139002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354101067446197,0.06439901457672892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22138229040126745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061838363363252,0.0,0.09036531976732694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242233652950862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06472139094570738
bipolarreddit,mymainismythrowaway1,2018/01/19,"Buspar and (hypo)mania? My pdoc had me try buspar for anxiety last week. Within 2 days of starting it, at a low dose(5mg 3x a day), I was the most euphoric I've ever been. I was skipping instead of walking, I couldn't stay on topic at all(my friend described me as being ""squirrely,"" I threw stuff at another friend for 2 hours, I went walking in the river off campus, I was so euphoric it was like a body high, I talked about sexual stuff a lot. I went to class, but scribbled entire pages of my notebook so I wouldn't start doing jumping jacks in class. This was all in a 24 hour time period. Needless to say, I talked to my pdoc and went off it within a day of these symptoms starting. I came down over a couple days and was pretty depressed for a couple days. 

What I'm wondering is whether any of y'all have had this side effect from buspar. It's not listed on the pi sheet, but there are a couple case reports in journals. Before I started it, my pdoc told me that mania was pretty unlikely from it...",3.0808928571428567,4.546618921182268,4.4714254926108365,85.60250769704435,74.07389162561577,6.651354679802957,25.002770935960587,7.1686216300943375,1.1094041871921179,783,25,155,8,16,260,119,203,0.039,0.856,0.105,0.9134,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,0,1,6,5,0,0,12,0,17,2,1,1,2,16,29,9,0,2,4,0,0,1,2,1,1,1,0,0,13,4,0,0,2,0,0,8,3,2,0,0,16,1,20,3,30,10,4,43,0,2,0,0,7,18,0,3,17,107,33,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042397140898677,0.1240107261890701,0.09047208173221796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10063444891377027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136529006045275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526317607277144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39257253256062896,0.0,0.3813543588971085,0.0,0.10186111141443366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697708543840533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18274184578777306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495302434447872,0.0,0.0,0.23293358190014984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640141911364684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05777810112236964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10054431866454196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24063519410694986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404874261392844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3348331201409202,0.12605430909653526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27076930429167645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12292218367840828,0.0,0.1901131828918756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896102898026359,0.0,0.0,0.11300687647639696,0.0,0.08029388827032181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486471428742788,0.0,0.0,0.32889735781954965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825289464258458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Browbish,2018/01/19,"Topiramate/Topamax xpost I’m getting put on topiramate in the next week, can anyone please share their experience on it, regarding side effects, weight loss, effectiveness etc? X",5.907413793103447,9.720200344827584,6.361637931034482,62.36590517241382,80.0344827586207,9.796551724137933,34.836206896551715,9.516144504307137,4.996165517241379,146,8,20,5,4,47,27,29,0.077,0.772,0.151,0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,3,3,1,7,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,8,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24074779451619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3839938521012741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.336798781400159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17988644675015894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3661749094700093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37794621779985976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34612411425814177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27618269094732056,0.41927375184062105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SynapticKaos,2018/01/19,"Encephalitis that mimics bipolar and schizophrenia? Saw this the other day, was wondering if anyone here is in the Houston area and participating. https://www.bphope.com/treatable-condition-could-be-mistaken-for-schizophrenia-or-bipolar-disorder/",25.745000000000005,34.39942016666667,13.588333333333335,11.890000000000045,34.83333333333333,9.866666666666667,37.16666666666667,9.725611199111238,5.563016666666669,220,7,14,4,3,53,22,24,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,4,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,1,12,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3482272983575038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3976285996851642,0.0,0.0,0.32118182417847635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5707742874038723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5400816549810201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Throwawaythrow469,2018/01/19,"I'm not in a good place. I've been stealing more, I've been sexting random guys/girls, I'm spending more money, I don't think before I speak and say stupid shit, I'm impatient and flying off the handle easily, but I'm super depressed. I went down to half of my regular dose of Latuda because it was making me so nauseous... I just can't win.",3.2362499999999983,3.9489712361111136,5.103777777777778,84.119,72.75,7.426666666666668,25.511111111111113,7.554174236665415,1.2821244444444455,267,8,55,3,5,92,54,72,0.25,0.655,0.094,-0.8645,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,2,7,2,0,2,0,5,2,1,1,0,8,12,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,3,4,0,1,4,2,6,3,6,8,2,5,0,1,0,0,2,4,1,1,0,29,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298434267124759,0.0,0.32083793516089754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32474872185571385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3162478621808377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25168078758308626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3939322794981679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.299841701429565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3870317698172151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24159552095652975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.349524940023661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,g-baby-,2018/01/19,"Work troubles/starting a new job? I started a job last week. I’ve been in a really stable place for a few months, and if anything I’ve been on the hypo side. Able to be super positive and all that - which is great because my new company is targeted towards a younger demographic and therefore marketing needs to be pretty upbeat and kid friendly. I was SO excited about this job, because who doesn’t want to work in a positive environment where it’s encouraged to be creative and even a little silly with work? 

Well, as expected, I got hit by a wall of depression. Making new friends at the office is tough since I’m so disconnected (the med brain fog doesn’t help). Having a hard time being productive, and generally performing the way I know I can. 

I’ve usually been able to work effectively even through my hardest depressions, but the brain fog is making it near impossible. I honestly feel dumb. 

Does anyone have any advice with this? Have you been there, and how did you get through it?


This might be a dumb question, and the likely answer is “you just do”, but I hope someone has a better one. I’m usually able to hold onto the fact that my mood WILL change and things will be better for a bit, but I’m really struggling right now.

Thank you.

TLDR: extreme brain fog and depression. How am I supposed to start a new job like this and make a good impression. Sos.",3.83818181818182,5.787525242424245,5.002121212121214,80.57318181818181,73.0909090909091,8.587878787878788,28.28787878787879,9.218907990703514,2.561892424242424,1080,43,203,25,22,356,153,264,0.092,0.7070000000000001,0.202,0.9783,4,0,0,0,0,0,33.0,0,4,0,9,12,25,2,1,21,0,29,3,3,7,2,38,46,20,0,5,5,0,2,2,2,3,0,0,0,1,12,13,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,7,1,1,7,2,15,17,24,29,3,27,0,3,0,0,11,13,2,4,15,130,27,9,0.2757116920345139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898074248296394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06249780171341599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06426134189555932,0.0,0.07562907679525306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204752560055667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16256305742101984,0.10033525299983896,0.0,0.0,0.3077854316416643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972221373689292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374700763450269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804257198959028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12140331485993285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046469371900692114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200944622229486,0.0,0.04801599316919978,0.0,0.0,0.07708462874197422,0.07350394228746622,0.10132437127194313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08232784025585242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061601245139232486,0.0,0.0,0.09128130692714033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3648017484430173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05050797848616759,0.07491394258582182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979920399504303,0.09211184915966393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18403969536941356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208451169953217,0.0,0.0,0.0974955116304052,0.0,0.0,0.07335681404632433,0.0,0.0,0.06814557537114249,0.0,0.3550454269803092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062276459332420174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602001197792084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934993036472022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295339822120826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11775197994578145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07848542617812784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602385359232024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786987398086175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19515015470231992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607790798026587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461276099710717,0.0,0.0,0.0610568656900334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05358990161333972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20243831768104315,0.0,0.05420729980185912,0.07294903593802912,0.07371976289239834,0.0,0.08263264092737224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676285273487065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kinggubz,2018/01/19,"Been Diagnosed for about three months now and had a few questions... Hi, I had a recent diagnosis of Bipolar/Manic Depressive disorder after an episode of psychosis in the summer time.

I am just a little confused on my diagnosis. You see I've been super depressed for a really long time and aside from last year (I became manic and then had psychosis) I haven't really had any up/high feelings of mood aside from again the one last year. My Psychiatrist said he's 75% certain that I have bipolar so I'll take his word for it but I'm just a little confused.

So I guess my questions are;

- Is it common to have the majority of your mood with bipolar be depression?

- Is it common to have long periods of depression with bipolar and short infrequent bouts of mania?

- When is it common to start exhibiting signs that your bipolar when you haven't been diagnosed at a young age?

Sorry if the questions are kind of stupid, I just want to start some conversations about my new found mental illness and learn some things. Thanks friends.",4.9206357388316135,6.734189654639182,5.390082474226805,79.454058419244,69.97938144329896,8.472302405498281,29.428178694158074,9.029198982220553,2.544927560137457,819,32,147,16,15,262,109,194,0.15,0.7829999999999999,0.066,-0.952,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,4,0,1,11,14,1,2,11,0,19,7,0,0,1,27,30,12,0,2,5,0,1,0,1,0,7,1,0,0,7,7,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,7,0,2,9,3,16,5,24,20,4,32,0,4,1,0,13,6,0,9,26,99,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777963465335169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4447097545020867,0.262029378650671,0.0,0.0,0.14793822524373024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526732742885986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14153086077323782,0.09972780613851526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14219748202169274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13638136284033436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441819441332287,0.0,0.21043679394611392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587465237115457,0.0,0.22846557998506625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13008347792299754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10303137326089244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12466741633803995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746875406548381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4338014186619973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653854295027257,0.0,0.12745210130496093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278576968523452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10286099514307533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444958226426456,0.18272865938405716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970529895002636,0.0,0.0,0.11884061588910362,0.0,0.0,0.08575580606700596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15053655827123993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613542943431982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624810677394009
bipolarreddit,teacherintraining09,2018/01/20,"Trileptal Heads Up In very rare cases, Trileptal can make your bone marrow stop functioning. I found that out the hard way over these last couple days. Figured I’d let everyone else know about this ridiculously dangerous side effect no one talks about before anyone else is bedridden with myelosuppression like I am right now.",5.777380952380952,9.168417214285713,4.275000000000002,81.03666666666669,73.28571428571429,7.3047619047619055,25.404761904761905,8.344100000000001,2.103569047619049,268,9,41,5,6,77,51,56,0.191,0.769,0.041,-0.7992,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,1,3,3,2,0,1,0,4,2,2,2,0,8,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,1,1,3,1,7,5,0,11,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,5,21,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16856769715985487,0.2470134193378653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20514005283421466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2667487821516398,0.0,0.1554756928211412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4027803154696703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303608442359693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26433013913444064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21595898925715465,0.0,0.2474160989087285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13249044247239894,0.19651115918776368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465191065533863,0.0,0.11777878097250312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16092177515186648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163361035223898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20587972739441104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015524262873791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19376977170281667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19891501571765505,0.0,0.1913568972476564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,coredev,2018/01/20,What treatment worked for your bipolar depression? Title...,8.829999999999998,12.081482000000001,5.145,65.30000000000001,104.0,6.6000000000000005,41.5,7.1686216300943375,5.441300000000001,48,3,4,1,2,13,8,8,0.34600000000000003,0.654,0.0,-0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7637268601497472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6455395286779955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AnotherCrazyChick,2018/01/20,"My Checkup Was A Success (Long Post) **The background story:** Since I was diagnosed over 10 years ago, I've needed continuous/ongoing treatment and consultation. Changing dosages, trying new medication, talking through the most current triggers, how to recognize, avoid, cope, and foster healthy decisions. Gone through 4 doctors... when I was able to get an appointment and afford the treatment. I've gone some years withdrawing, some entirely unmedicated, new medication, lower dose/higher dose, self medicating at times. Having bipolar is truly debilitating and scary. Emotional (Mood) symptom wise, last year was not as intense as I've experienced before. But last year was indeed the shittiest fucking year I have lived through in my entire life thus far. I won't list everything that was shitty. You guys know last year was horrible. My Mom almost dying before her liver transplant probably topped my list though. And my bipolar mania has decided to manifest entirely through my secondary symptoms of OCD. Chronic anxiety has taken over my usual depression and has crash landed directly on one main symptom. [Self Excoriation/dermatillomania/compulsive skin picking.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Excoriation_disorder) No exaggeration, I look like the picture in that Wikipedia link, just add breasts and some curves. I'm not looking for advice or guidance. I've been receiving the professional version steadily over a year and a half now. I just know that CSP is not common in this sub, is often not associated with bipolar, and is still considered co morbid along with symptoms of OCD.

**The point of my post.:** I saw my psychiatrist today. And he agreed that I have had very significant improvements since I last saw him. My episodes have been less frequent, less intense, and my depression has also eased up. My mania still keeps me awake throughout the week (I get 3-4 hrs sleep at a time around 4-7am.) and I literally sleep all weekend. But my job hasn't been suffering, I've made three trips from the west coast to Texas for some extremely intense circumstances, I've lost 30lbs, and reduced my ""skin picking"" from my legs and lower arms to just my upper arms, back, and face although my face has had dramatic improvements as well. 

**My checkup Achievement:** For the first time since I can remember, my doctor isn't changing my medication and has said that I don't need to schedule a follow up appointment at this time. I will continue to have a steady supply of my personal med cocktail without worrying about running out. I'm under no obligation to pay for, schedule, drive to, or stress about coordinating  my life around another psych appointment until I feel it's necessary.

**TLDR: Some years/some decades are worse than others. If you can't remember the last time you caught a break, don't give up. We all deserve peace and stability. Today was my day.**",5.114303030303031,8.387040420202023,5.315505050505049,73.27992424242423,75.10101010101009,8.434343434343434,31.994949494949488,9.10047109697411,3.5929191919191923,2308,113,353,59,54,727,276,495,0.101,0.823,0.076,-0.8892,5,1,0,0,0,0,108.0,1,3,0,5,17,12,1,2,19,0,37,32,11,5,2,65,61,31,1,3,13,1,3,1,0,2,20,1,0,4,9,25,1,2,8,2,1,8,13,7,1,4,22,9,45,4,51,37,12,74,0,4,4,2,17,23,1,11,41,218,54,9,0.07506880980317429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335637212590683,0.06654397049771428,0.0,0.07517056935076949,0.0,0.0,0.06003250007798451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871619244873176,0.05742743402706026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365431247345969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05772328101754934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127756056126806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15882569400559074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04841317203536102,0.0,0.12931331176813893,0.0761932617641895,0.07790957273910602,0.0,0.0,0.15367221554276458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444230704300372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06746700578629414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03795704580184448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385349126966079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939990502034901,0.07844070954258897,0.07201284270727132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432992400660711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931431912071125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449421042227558,0.06672460735652286,0.0,0.0,0.0825117092976884,0.3059554964508177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604664082487494,0.0366748285977829,0.0,0.0662871343805542,0.06643353439812827,0.12607778734359462,0.0,0.08194647366596007,0.0,0.0,0.07103192292364982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338452463955857,0.3024957129494273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791968275684257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11132514255123713,0.0,0.145003848582536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05086856831869877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554718918115636,0.0,0.0,0.07096428964765393,0.0,0.1437903377115753,0.0,0.08093687368415094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700766554342054,0.0,0.07140762870729038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15662628104757695,0.0,0.0,0.18629308562658492,0.0,0.15024604719966922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990009695829952,0.0,0.08599106799850302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31210094687763384,0.0,0.060337465763815434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737547244864532,0.0,0.2188661334180395,0.0,0.14231290825574178,0.0,0.0,0.050966794210263074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267768835663189,0.06193962992937953,0.0,0.0,0.06021567114330209,0.0,0.06749587541468195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07236365381353514,0.0,0.0,0.0762360202818663,0.07650153049727691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3383929659994526
bipolarreddit,batmaninsandiego,2018/01/21,"Am I bipolar? I’ve had a lot of hospitalization in the past couple years. I’m exhibiting all the symptoms, but I’ve never gotten a diagnosis, other than mild depression and it feels much worse than mild depression.",5.607416666666667,7.410505575000002,7.0150000000000015,68.51666666666668,68.25,10.333333333333336,30.833333333333336,10.504223727775694,3.6720833333333336,173,7,29,5,3,59,31,40,0.315,0.685,0.0,-0.9455,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,0,2,2,0,0,2,6,5,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,4,3,3,4,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,19,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3543547427955683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5516682642164912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16192994584992648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27226833177199145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23542339481116226,0.0,0.2469994766615726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3057184933863157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3328663253420934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263659863186342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062329498392576
bipolarreddit,balanceaholic,2018/01/21,"Bipolar Reddit, what's the best life lesson you've learned after coming out of a Psychosis? After my first one I basically had to reprogram my mind. I found that there was a lot of nonsense thoughts that I didn't even agree with. So I learned to be mindful of the ideas and thoughts I allow to circle around in my mind.


What's yours???


Edit: Apparently Bipolar people are wise as fuck.",3.081142857142858,5.349110600000003,3.8499047619047637,86.54400000000004,76.33333333333334,5.885714285714287,26.714285714285715,6.868970318607317,1.2368285714285716,305,12,58,3,7,97,55,75,0.109,0.758,0.133,0.431,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,3,4,3,1,0,4,0,5,4,0,1,0,17,10,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,7,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,6,0,9,2,13,3,2,7,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,1,3,43,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19432927862253466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22908766218625776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18804224626034607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14418212065438038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856820429707799,0.0,0.23934975118297602,0.0,0.20181067456023766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464290513830239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15418856923103913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18558702996501555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6612486856328409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14792268207427736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513386155158004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466044903946024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,m0th3rofDragonz,2018/01/21,"DAE have experience with Pristiq? I was on Abilify, it made me super shaky, and I've been getting more depressed lately so just switched my meds",3.305555555555556,6.173302518518517,4.0903703703703735,81.7666666666667,79.37037037037038,6.562962962962962,31.222222222222214,7.793537801064563,2.523133333333333,116,6,20,2,3,37,26,27,0.175,0.701,0.124,-0.1513,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,5,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,3,1,2,2,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,13,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3715635930828481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42199130366716014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253883338311773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4866372114767042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40820045738861216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4791873807722458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,albatross95,2018/01/21,How honest are you with your therapist? Just got back into therapy after about a month of not in therapy. Changed from a therapist I absolutely love to a therapist from the past who's very sweet but I don't feel safe being honest with him. I always think he's gonna judge me or not believe me. Thought I'd ask how honest y'all are with your therapist?,2.9520833333333343,4.68134115277778,4.659444444444446,83.03000000000002,74.97222222222223,8.688888888888886,25.88888888888889,9.2995712137729,2.2252888888888886,281,10,57,7,6,95,52,72,0.042,0.736,0.222,0.9216,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,4,0,0,5,6,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,2,0,15,11,4,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,10,6,11,7,0,6,0,0,0,1,9,2,0,1,4,38,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805494966826828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551085533706355,0.0,0.0,0.12757874345116405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869299013887899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17551655165644472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389183918782014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269774593099434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497451757990256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324321331576554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15838507540586014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3794775646559777,0.7705625241825822,0.0,0.10631192411322746,0.0,0.13171833823678847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13689762634625516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LioraLeah,2018/01/21,"Anyone ever experienced this on Latuda? I've been taking Latuda for about two weeks now, first week at 40 then upped to 60. 40 seemed okay but 60 made me throw up the meds so my psych changed me to 20mg in the morning and 40 mg in the evening. 

I feel absolutely horrible. After taking the meds I feel this excrutiating restlessness like a constant surge of electricity running through my brain. Nothing helps. I can't  focus on anything. It's so bad that when I feel it coming on I take antihistamines to slow my brain down and sleep it off. It's left me writing on my bed before trying to get it to go away.

Obviously I'm not taking this again until my doc can prescribe me something new. Is this normal for Latuda? ",3.326666666666668,5.2182664788732405,4.647535211267607,82.81853286384978,74.35211267605635,6.986854460093897,25.21361502347418,7.793537801064563,1.3729699530516433,568,19,111,8,12,188,95,142,0.119,0.8490000000000001,0.032,-0.9399,0,0,1,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,8,4,0,1,5,1,4,3,3,1,2,14,17,8,0,1,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,10,3,0,0,4,0,0,4,2,2,0,2,2,4,14,2,24,15,0,30,0,0,0,0,2,13,0,1,14,71,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747363295948002,0.0,0.12648555726968153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14441026641182866,0.0,0.1283366853088614,0.0,0.0,0.1307910537728064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3431697039493579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625987879945982,0.13240266005948298,0.0,0.16609976331485116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152025242895094,0.13903435538283188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23315256445917806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307408143836605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030416225105441,0.0,0.08735370604531564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302476441747513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16700019125604798,0.0,0.0,0.07509216587713091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14543874212071284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34146169431302914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14844858813110334,0.0,0.0,0.15059759713793186,0.14748343856376067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399266383903801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15381532143524249,0.0,0.0,0.1183290933214952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4622660736354984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435514251575903,0.0,0.15014678458971975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465846652201645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ADHDvm,2018/01/21,"Benadryl vs seroquel for sleep? My pdoc joked the other day that she wants to do a study comparing benadryl and seroquel for sleep because she thinks they'd have the same effect.

Anyone have any experience comparing the two?  Does anyone know if there's any science on how each one works and what the longer term effects could be?",6.810901639344263,7.995443491803278,5.639467213114753,81.79231557377051,64.90163934426228,8.067213114754097,31.643442622950825,8.07648339933343,2.2331606557377057,267,10,47,3,4,79,48,61,0.0,0.953,0.047,0.4291,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,3,2,1,0,0,5,0,6,2,2,3,0,13,9,4,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,4,6,3,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,30,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3639774641102841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3742480474869043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313683485593775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136703925267063,0.0,0.0,0.17259082092937073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341934338041753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617807705949758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147075300432413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18134420027701312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5356205251051057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17147816306064628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26142291565748565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578474360475884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19482835803295434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,switch_the_witch,2018/01/22,"Citalopram for Bipolar 2 (intense) Depression? Have you tried it? Hey friends,

So I've had a BP 2 diagnosis for many, many years. I was extremely, badly depressed towards the beginning I suppose you could call it. At the time, Lamictal helped me beyond my wildest expectations. It gave me many years of being able to live and work productively.

Fast forward to the present. I have been ultradian cycling for a few months. Basically, my illness has progressed and is keeping me from working or even doing basic things. So I turned to my pdoc for help. 

Despite the chance that an antidepressant may have to flip me into hypomania, the risk is worth it right now. 

I've started Celexa (Citalopram) which lists its purposes as intended for Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, maybe another thing or two.

Has anyone had experience with Citalopram alongside a mood stabilizer? I'm extremely down and hoping for any help here.",5.595590490797544,8.674106607361963,5.974536042944784,70.37321510736197,71.88343558282209,9.47377300613497,35.954371165644176,9.827888789773867,4.474914417177915,759,42,115,22,16,243,115,163,0.155,0.769,0.076,-0.9184,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,2,0,3,6,8,0,1,9,0,15,2,0,1,0,14,22,8,0,3,2,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,9,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,5,0,1,5,0,13,2,19,14,2,16,0,3,0,0,9,7,0,4,10,77,22,2,0.1435763203086744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763682125170983,0.1505522904936275,0.10983549205046572,0.0,0.0,0.10039190147555034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988023027083736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14660747583011408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11463400885496333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3709862228922545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3291018038855726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948308054633529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14044519139774034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092670891402023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.288708543131889,0.0,0.0,0.142603682109262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12761723042378065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678052127268646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43669156079531374,0.1442417117191507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460124907238772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16783303516043685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261339305592177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162405849774482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907714549354382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372050698217076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974788968924028,0.1561698075175866,0.14025320248627754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20905054234087364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18491688588843516
bipolarreddit,WalrusInTheOffice123,2018/01/22,"$440 for one month of Seroquel XR??? That's with my insurance, there is no way I can afford that every month. Is there anyway to get it cheaper? Going to Canada? Is it normal for them to fuck people over on this drug?",0.5493333333333332,2.7325008222222245,2.6044444444444466,92.42000000000004,85.22222222222223,4.488888888888889,15.666666666666668,5.6839178017228535,-0.618866666666666,167,3,35,1,5,56,36,45,0.14300000000000002,0.857,0.0,-0.7691,1,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,9,7,0,6,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,2,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3958252827289821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28757859712552103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3155467888918181,0.17832671390041674,0.0,0.1939812197702065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5448801004693645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3344231963338061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312886938934999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366297732535961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709256021257664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,drArtem3s,2018/01/22,"How to tell when it is time to call it quits, and also when it is time to try again I've got a lot going on in my life, having just gotten out of my second psychotic episode/hospitalization of the new year, moving to a new apartment, transitioning from school to Real Adult TM 9-5 and other adult stuff, etc.

I am about to start a full time internship/temp job at an engineering firm, but I am concerned about my ability to perform given that I've only recently come out of an intense episode (and am not even sure if I'm out of the woods fully yet) and am unable to even read a novel atm. So when do I know if it's time to work something out with HR? Do I start and wait for a disaster?

On the flip side I'm applying to full time jobs following the internship. I've put the applications on hold because I'm an engineer and because of the aforementioned problems I'm really not up to technical interviews right now.

So for the former when do I bail out, and for the latter when do I start trying again?

I guess this question is more general than the precise scenarios I listed, I'll of course listen to my supporters irl but I just wanted to get the internet's perspective.",7.753223834988539,5.758194521008402,8.515408708938121,72.54804048892285,63.87394957983194,12.352024446142096,35.50190985485104,11.20814326018867,3.7603310924369744,928,33,187,22,11,316,132,238,0.054000000000000006,0.897,0.049,-0.4557,2,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,3,19,3,0,0,18,0,12,1,0,1,2,35,32,20,0,4,8,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,8,14,0,2,2,2,1,5,2,1,0,1,3,1,13,2,38,29,5,43,0,0,0,0,7,16,0,5,22,125,21,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119950305476625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17074193313803795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14300300068751692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063754618511427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561887208195589,0.1849986115931492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316844750752145,0.0,0.07959157877000596,0.0,0.11200787462428717,0.0,0.15427686422200168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779488230884571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769658217742904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09891889196044293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11906241466486908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14884712668184558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27051531138023144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651157421836707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13400546128510368,0.0,0.14078528173030258,0.15688398419511376,0.1489565518879074,0.14008426735591512,0.1594034277687177,0.08971728995804935,0.0,0.13827889388951772,0.0,0.0,0.11959883377156648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173440196421574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781453676384932,0.0,0.0,0.29737662199561976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16031958649824207,0.0,0.15892295971190956,0.13199204523176228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240669914189085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4083108194088234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19016458308682446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260297680609043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10195542444486023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09018526991924954
bipolarreddit,BabsVilla09,2018/01/22,How many of you have an eating disorder? I go through periods of binge eating and then starving..I don't know how to stop it. I'm a healthy weight but I don't want to keep doing this. I have such bad self esteem issues. I tried every eating disorder recovery method known to man. I just can't stop. ,0.2214516129032269,2.573178161290325,2.277661290322584,92.53649193548388,89.96774193548387,5.680645161290323,19.04032258064516,7.1686216300943375,0.4964451612903229,234,7,50,4,8,78,44,62,0.257,0.713,0.03,-0.9191,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,0,6,4,0,2,0,11,11,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,4,3,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,6,0,6,11,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16440552144097134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4513350829635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6044418257539382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16589900858950093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190433629806257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205515251337384,0.0,0.17501615792089606,0.0,0.0,0.1082125689223377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996284224658358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20541244845336376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292389309610929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336840014144079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161383080795636,0.0,0.0,0.23977443041245924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,queenofyour-heart,2018/01/22,"I think Seroquel makes me manic Hi guys. Posted here awhile back about switching to Seroquel from Abilify bc I was so tired I couldn’t function. Ive been on just 100mg of Seroquel for 2 months and holy shit..

I went almost THIRTY percent over budget last month, constantly picked fights with my (now ex) boyfriend, etc. 

So, all of that to say, anyone have a similar experience? I’m so fucking depressed too but not sure if I would be if pretty much my whole life hadn’t completely gone off the rails lately. 

TIA y’all ❤️",1.7016666666666684,4.2715382524271845,2.6507038834951437,91.34621763754043,83.95145631067963,5.375080906148868,22.175566343042068,6.816661863887847,0.6590653721682846,412,14,82,5,12,130,87,103,0.08900000000000001,0.8140000000000001,0.097,0.579,0,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,9,5,3,0,2,0,8,4,1,2,2,15,14,7,0,4,5,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,2,3,4,0,0,5,1,10,1,11,6,5,13,0,1,0,1,6,3,2,3,7,48,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20454374239994835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428281298507754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15706859778909707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21416990422103035,0.22073989600650235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17593473722249825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278115314827191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19981217348252744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888414098451662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20225629471648465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16650474458923,0.2304219022469009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14427971592209995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13634970747338326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3260876991668181,0.0,0.15015963682796213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19563117620697493,0.20781282009304725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624411965285434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2096769845018933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925190872298804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088594852885874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23477469338281756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189357414940324,0.0,0.2280566414627963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14510530841001182,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,42dftba,2018/01/22,"Formerly on zoloft, bad side effects, what now? Long story short, I was on 150mg of zoloft for 3 years as a teen/young adult and experienced permanent memory loss. I didn't want to go down that road again, but I am at the point where I need chemical help. It's more than the anxiety and depression I had. I think its rapid cycling bipolar based on genes and extreme episodes over this past year. 

I have kids. They need their mom. I need me back. But I don't know when/what ""back"" was.

My bro is rapid cycling bipolar and is doing really well on meds and counseling. He is demonstrating that it's possible to live and function with help. 

So, advice? Where do I start? ",1.8388311688311705,4.2242005454545435,2.837142857142858,91.51500000000004,81.42424242424242,7.104761904761905,22.307359307359306,8.192908349453996,1.2345632034632033,520,17,111,11,14,165,94,132,0.102,0.8190000000000001,0.079,-0.2161,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,2,2,8,4,0,0,3,0,12,4,0,1,0,16,20,10,0,4,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,7,7,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,3,1,0,4,1,14,1,14,16,1,24,0,2,0,0,9,13,0,0,10,67,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1990708268609082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15584367717429326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31329306366365145,0.17009598224701628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17546197522978724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157776079141818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730957006904693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195805980839098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17988668562736584,0.18028397861918527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22628472191768034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23859200552765925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4531628446683349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944718382161164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19257931394846528,0.2296613838981553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13050693779930933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14419261633923625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305342391233073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12015812739228912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831669061474253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623753663818608
bipolarreddit,michellealee,2018/01/22,"Best meds for me, I guess Lithium was the best out of all the ones I took. Lithium 1200mg with either abilify or Latuda. Took it for about 5 years, but it did make me...numb. I was just content with everything, no matter how good or bad things were, I was in a cloud where nothing really affected me. And it kinda sucked, to be honest with you. Everyone around me was fine with me because I became this nice, stable, soft-spoken woman who never really complained about anything. Well, I decided to come off my meds about a year and a half ago because I didn’t want to live that way for the rest of my life. I wanted to feel again. Feel something, anything. And long story short, I quit my job because I realized I was miserable there, lost some friends, but gained some too. I have ups and downs, but I can feel again. At least for now, I won’t be going back on meds. Fuck that. 

Anyone else decided to go off their meds and what has been your experience?",2.8021315789473675,4.546214726315789,3.8223026315789497,88.80924342105264,75.42105263157895,7.065789473684213,22.927631578947373,7.8658589789855275,1.0138684210526314,738,21,154,11,16,238,121,190,0.11,0.6970000000000001,0.194,0.9296,1,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,0,2,1,5,14,14,2,1,6,0,15,2,0,3,2,37,30,11,0,2,7,0,3,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,9,12,0,0,6,0,0,5,4,6,1,2,12,3,24,8,27,15,8,26,0,2,0,1,7,11,2,6,9,113,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946545712778882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634630869774171,0.12652896917969855,0.20324168213298388,0.10993130033103556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09495533999911976,0.10310807164304024,0.22583305800043565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25918795945154066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637475111880304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315912847743587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117998933979674,0.1109838588560558,0.12079583784451105,0.0,0.0,0.1873190916701632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540721621900153,0.11416349626956175,0.0,0.0,0.140363173001221,0.10357662869883624,0.0,0.0,0.13603694333953392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225436765533579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08722386061378852,0.0,0.0,0.10904295930023856,0.10928378870562867,0.0,0.0,0.13480271965681326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08242979828024131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5486733081168447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952422509384222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11849092808495786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367927316019992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13134564350535832,0.0,0.0,0.1582203002653348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950677867539274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204053661930287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744014187086039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567390298103328,0.09801973924766404,0.0,0.0,0.11103134966619148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15904560305829554
bipolarreddit,gdobssor,2018/01/22,"Looking for opinions on my guide for bipolar spouses/family/partners https://psyche.media/the-questions-most-frequently-asked-by-bipolar-sos

So, this guide has been up for awhile on the r/bipolarSOs subreddit. I decided to write it up - the reason being, back when my second bipolar partner went manic, I found myself caught between the devil and the deep blue sea and struggled to find a lot of helpful information quickly. So I compiled a list of frequently asked questions on r/bipolarSOs and answered them all, along with including a list of other resources to get help. 
Feedback from the r/bipolarSOs community has been largely positive and I've asked a few people who actually have bipolar disorder in my life and they say they like it as well. 
Apologies for a few typos and formatting errors. Please let me know what y'all think, I'd love to know the perspective from this side of the community.",9.850392156862746,10.897262797385624,8.778562091503268,62.403529411764715,58.28104575163399,11.244444444444444,39.875816993464056,10.980518767755715,4.797530718954249,740,35,107,17,9,230,100,153,0.075,0.797,0.128,0.8074,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,3,0,6,5,0,1,12,0,7,5,0,1,1,22,18,10,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,4,1,0,1,7,8,0,0,10,0,0,2,0,2,1,1,5,3,12,3,24,11,4,14,1,0,2,1,16,8,0,3,5,79,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.2013219818133004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3857309379178885,0.0,0.0,0.15863428321780612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23644112696638064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188557217036572,0.0,0.0,0.22620060614228896,0.0,0.0,0.1077848098205092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765611228176287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267574820900313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21095880897512811,0.14571791968820752,0.10078923173089216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17324257277455815,0.0,0.0,0.17539144479052016,0.1861965244805525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14302453373447974,0.0,0.0,0.22645875742110425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23110659001772385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21211385781212772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640604368987179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156727031160965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13219064103467434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18549118532106945,0.19124496057047066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,honorablemole,2018/01/22,"New to Bipolar A close family member of mine just got diagnosed with bipolar this summer after experiencing a major manic episode. Is there anyone who has advice or tips for learning more about this condition, or things you wish you knew early on that might have helped you to deal with your symptoms better? If there are any resources that can be recommended all information would be appreciated. The biggest issue is sleep right now and I feel like my family member is obsessing over it to the point that they can't see the progress that they are making and I just want to know how I can help. They feel numb to emotion and at times hopeless and I wan't to know what I can do or how I can help them help themselves.

Thank you",6.0809992006394875,6.987307251798563,6.053477218225421,79.1703996802558,66.41007194244604,8.767705835331737,28.394084732214232,8.841846274778883,2.075512549960032,584,18,109,9,9,184,94,139,0.067,0.767,0.166,0.918,0,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,5,4,2,8,6,0,1,5,0,17,6,1,3,1,28,28,10,0,4,6,0,2,1,0,2,5,0,0,0,10,7,0,0,7,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,4,17,3,15,22,3,13,0,1,1,0,16,7,0,5,7,81,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723507022770732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11994041735985235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12332485232681432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15598853415499633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818339240897197,0.0,0.17901597084571738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19839709215415388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3325395571453784,0.0,0.17836006091147896,0.12600167256712685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410624577801863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4728792917079567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184088708167908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19386115522629532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861674627784223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773106289725765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871050186578473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17034317818487352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16673050756073762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506224941420585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14054730047841602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765014476504632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833201936546653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623815492662994,0.0,0.0,0.11717509660783852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284513998190148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10402999759893886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028214789395156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529108061694896,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lkattan3,2018/01/23,"Getting bf committed How realistic is this? He's been unmedicated for 2 years and promised a month ago he'd get medicated because I said I won't stay if he doesn't (it's been bad).

He is currently out of work (for going on 8mos) and obviously also uninsured. He went to a psych on his sister's bill about 5mos ago, was prescribed Abilify, did not like the initial side effects so refuses to take it. I can't afford to send him to a new pdoc and a lot of his family is not speaking to him rn because along with losing his job her burned most of his bridges.

How realistic is it that we could get him committed and maybe get a new prescription that way? Is this a horrible idea? Will it make him worse? I have not proposed it yet but his counselor did about a month ago. Please help wonderful people of this amazing community. 

EDIT: not wanting to commit him involuntarily. I just want to understand how hospitals or inpatient treatment centers work in situations like this. How does one get meds/help with limited funds is probably more the question. I'm sorry for being such a noob.",3.691904761904759,5.742533238095242,5.255238095238095,78.16476190476193,73.76190476190476,8.857142857142858,29.76190476190476,9.444778638647367,2.911619047619048,860,38,163,22,18,290,129,210,0.085,0.7979999999999999,0.118,0.9,3,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,1,0,0,5,11,6,0,0,10,0,19,1,0,6,4,38,34,13,0,4,8,1,0,2,1,2,1,2,0,0,11,9,0,2,5,0,2,3,7,2,0,1,7,2,18,4,23,22,3,21,0,1,0,0,25,6,0,6,12,104,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3636847960606944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10936581924491244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418773553966835,0.16673357117532686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091906301598658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967839022519018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12892385601394887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3572536730160065,0.0,0.07772307552050899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183332840879084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15438383600297442,0.0,0.0,0.13571182844711854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13362670786833344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15299791461615045,0.0,0.11626728844508236,0.0,0.0,0.09128744099878372,0.0,0.13739241569994035,0.0,0.0,0.1377699222163508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21831885194129205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26416465536656875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926711804566422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948112078003075,0.0,0.0,0.15011989724722066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474489232680703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15320095341732662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13008876531486166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537224191795191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15309007883343867,0.0,0.14576649292707405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028254626458052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14237054678477834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16132755509400828,0.1085526272048655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267766111447024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148308889983904,0.19912380873238025,0.0,0.1393687177021737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.088068067666134
bipolarreddit,bbobbos,2018/01/23,"I FEEL GREAT - worked out changes in my routine So I stopped seeing a doctor for a while. When I was with her, she kept me on Lamotrigine, the generic one, got me up to 200-something mg. I also was prescribed some Stilnox which was totally awesome if not for my shitty depressive episodes where I would try to sleep all the time and all the mania where I just wanted to hallucinate all the time. Anyway! The Lamotrigine made me feel so fucking awful. I was a zombie for the longest time. Felt no emotions, no sex drive, I was pretty absent as a girlfriend (which led to the demise of a really great relationship), no motivation to do anything from work to studies, et cetera. It wasn't working so she kept up-ing the dose and also asked me to take some Inderal to calm down the increasing anxiety I had.

I stopped seeing her, as I've mentioned. It wasn't just the medicine, but it was also because I just didn't feel comfortable speaking to her anymore. She wasn't super awful or anything. There were just subtle instances where I would feel shitty about some things she'd say. 

Since the break up, I realized I needed to get help because I was so not mentally healthy at all. I stopped seeing her in the middle of my relationship because of reasons listed above, but also because I refused to believe that there was something wrong with my brain. I just wanted it to all go away and convince myself I was normal. Currently trying some different doctors, looking for The One. 

Meanwhile - This is probably not advisable, but because I can't wait between appointments, I started self medicating. Went totally sober. No alcohol, no cigarettes, no weed (which apparently turns BPD people schizophrenic or something? Which sucks because it was so great for the anxiety), no popping benzos - or any other drug. Started working out more consistently. Controlled my eating. I went back on the Lamotrigine BUT this time I started taking the branded GSK Lamictal. Started with 50mg. I paired it with 10mg of Inderal. I FELT SO GREAT!!!! I was having episodes all the time, but this calmed me down in a non-zombie way. I started building a tolerance to it though - I think? My anxiety would come back worse. Weeks into this routine, I went up gradually to 250mg of Lamictal and 40mg of Inderal. I'm feeling really great. I know it's not mania. I just feel healthy and normal. I think it's helping me keep to my routine, cope with my break up, be more productive. I'm on my way to becoming a better person I think. Someone who won't let the big bad BPD monster win.",4.361812499999999,6.4412132229166685,5.290416666666669,78.50625000000002,71.97916666666666,8.133333333333335,32.0,8.841846274778883,2.9399000000000006,2017,96,352,40,40,659,220,480,0.138,0.748,0.115,-0.8162,3,0,6,0,0,0,71.0,0,0,0,9,27,17,2,0,26,2,28,12,2,5,8,79,72,29,0,9,19,0,8,0,1,4,7,2,0,2,21,14,2,9,15,0,0,8,17,5,0,2,26,14,57,12,54,39,16,53,0,1,4,2,22,22,2,8,19,254,78,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07322733290080705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191825484820609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04659613492451199,0.0,0.1572534626221469,0.0,0.06795369832139972,0.0,0.0,0.1127726918373006,0.0,0.06405720518147467,0.0,0.06437705151379865,0.1053757200161353,0.05721156539990984,0.25061593261065834,0.07567525755378351,0.0,0.07719888289591545,0.0,0.0606006127388717,0.0,0.0,0.1725977689633711,0.07649128506598085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07248536278548177,0.05902414751389955,0.0,0.0,0.07685131194681652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059016410255230585,0.0,0.0,0.0715891009109848,0.0,0.14026680460497712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946176229226352,0.0701133448184878,0.0,0.07707608392681996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20787545131948207,0.0,0.13158041392630915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06334588775668627,0.03579901428382879,0.0,0.03894164988217128,0.0,0.054801921322219824,0.3777192113555021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185538855231284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060903966467618725,0.0,0.0,0.03765694977717285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006662096798645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575397715842475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06483553854063308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06902696579251331,0.06905231848693195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050806913802547884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13427063753424134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286221985793187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04750332940815132,0.05982925895097905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06970975056163811,0.0738764428318743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779168218334707,0.07045025211121644,0.0,0.1471302592248422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05449007085255205,0.0,0.0,0.16380535737306015,0.0,0.07148158787881517,0.0,0.0,0.056680677437470114,0.0,0.06856975696872626,0.0,0.05805700448801684,0.1582507599829832,0.0,0.0,0.24249500755098016,0.0,0.0,0.17185804770224816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030374348546882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045521824348421565,0.13171507157092002,0.06732081978317224,0.0,0.1997736094476478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09304153440598516,0.07453038033125331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08083006397707236,0.10877640582522463,0.054962829478206174,0.0,0.0,0.19055693710199867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19953429765693376,0.0,0.06982801147457313,0.14602450681198256,0.07491616142868883,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rustygrape,2018/01/23,"Death of Seasons [self-hatred] (/spoiler) I was listening to one of my favorite songs from grade school, and I realized that it fits perfectly in describing how I feel towards depression, my will to survive depression, and the angst, remorse, and grief of falling into a depression. Here is the song:  
.  
.  
.  
    
""Of late, it's harder just to go outside  
    
  To leave this deadspace with hatred, so alive  
    
  Writhing with sickness, thrown into banality, I decay  
    
  Killed by the weakness, but forced to return, turn it off    
  

    
I watch the stars as they fall from the sky  
    
I held a fallen star and it wept for me, dying  
    
I feel the fallen stars encircle me, now as they cry  
  
    
Out there so quickly grows malignant tribes  
    
Posthuman extinction excels unrecognized  
    
Feeling surrounded, so bored with mortality, I decay  
     
All of this hatred is fucking real, turn it on... yeah  

    
It won't be all right despite what they say  
    
Just watch the stars tonight as they, as they disappear, disintegrate  
    
And I disintegrate 'cause this hate is fucking real  
    
And I hope to shade the world as stars go out and I disintegrate""  


The first stanza starts the process of slipping into depression. It’s hard to leave the walls that are now built around you, the hatred drawn inwards is real and deadly. Leaving is an escape, but the mind of depression “forces” you to return inwards, retreat back home, and continue the stages of decay, even violence:  “Killed by the weakness…turn it off""

The second stanza is how I see this process of suffering being reflected in the natural world through the observation of stars. I am reminded of the title of the song “Death of Seasons” which is organic and relates to nature. There is compassion inherent in seeing the suffering of them: “I held a fallen star and it wept for me” / “The fallen stars encircle me” is an act of compassion by nature itself, reminding me that the feelings of depression and disconnection are universal.

The third stanza is also about the outside world, but a reflection on society and other people, which is viewed as working a brutal and threatening agenda (malignant tribes). For me, viewing the world at large in this way begins to give birth to thoughts that lead me to believe that the world is cruel, and that I no longer wish to participate in it, which completes the process of depression and fatefully, gives rise to the momentum of wanting to take my own life.

The bridge, or last stanza, is a confirmation of the reality of depression, merely the way things are, so to speak. The vocalist directs the attention to the sky, and sees the completion of the cycle, the end of the season when things wither and die. Yet compassion for the whole world is alive, “I hope to shade the world as stars go out” which still amazes me, that in the throes and thick of a hard depression the parts of me that want to help and be a part of the world live on.",16.203814844373504,14.061924124767227,13.104644852354353,46.65430167597765,47.97579143389199,15.293748337323755,45.683160415004,13.409020233153562,6.078364086193137,2833,108,391,68,21,852,235,537,0.25,0.66,0.09,-0.9988,1,0,0,0,0,0,250.0,0,2,6,6,22,31,7,0,54,1,24,5,0,4,3,63,53,39,9,5,6,0,7,0,0,2,3,6,1,0,32,30,0,2,9,3,0,14,2,26,0,4,4,20,36,5,85,44,6,76,0,14,7,2,14,35,2,3,24,286,68,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.012064520516867351,0.0,0.9807609487439192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.013430018680791135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.011600444879564714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.016997110637268466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.015497801044329346,0.0,0.0,0.03163542813457492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.016571608439034692,0.0,0.0,0.11694438769114472,0.0,0.03131442593762692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.013361997081524043,0.0,0.0,0.009964368661016923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030512376278925807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.012832411685265542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02789410992042617,0.0,0.028944335724522933,0.025721701141872028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027028749662102176,0.014894612562566524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01011203882288011,0.0,0.015132803834719962,0.02996822929030745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0333815442658462,0.0,0.0,0.012297360127878096,0.01701802023883076,0.0479226873306802,0.0,0.0,0.010655910317865945,0.0,0.0,0.013321492386618405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.015232877350659531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.010222877363884292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032674017614666186,0.0,0.010458951157072727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05151458726437615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.012883630432302135,0.0,0.011997243071018949,0.0,0.01526815602515048,0.03606551905681157,0.0,0.01573831656789601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.010678171283608923,0.0,0.012047950508880044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.011343031235094073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02004535443611609,0.0,0.0,0.011976848815168232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04922873516327925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.017796598716177517,0.02394962899953544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.016843331741333355,0.017348517519070995,0.0,0.0,0.010983016871426788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,m2jn5pa7,2018/01/23,"Diagnosed yesterday with many things I am 31. I was diagnosed bipolar 2, ocd, adhd, and gad.

Anyone else have a similar mixed bag? 

My Dr put me on modafinil, wellbutrin xl, and risperadone. 

Anyone have experience with these?",3.725384615384616,6.9406671794871855,4.3955897435897455,77.44107692307695,82.33333333333333,8.248205128205129,30.87692307692308,8.841846274778883,3.5553138461538456,176,9,28,5,5,56,33,39,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,0,4,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,3,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,16,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33716721127756266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3923348997775801,0.2874571663268791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5695057537487912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.234363963803098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27443224643322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2844341977459713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28203076574589264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863853023810555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,princesabug,2018/01/23,"I want my family and my boyfriend to learn more about bipolar disorder since I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar 2. What are some good books or websites to share with them? Basically everything in the title. I haven’t been doing great lately and it’s been taken out on my parents and boyfriend. Have been having more mixed episodes which suck, and then I’m drained and feel nothing. My parents have been getting not mad, but frustrated because they don’t understand. I try explaining to my parents but they don’t want to hear it sometimes which makes me feel like shit, and then my boyfriend doesn’t really understand the way I explain things. He isn’t as frustrated but I can just tell it affects him and I wish it didn’t. ",3.7074749163879592,6.167013326086959,3.770289855072463,86.93864548494986,75.15942028985506,7.4345596432552945,29.455964325529546,8.384062270229773,2.279385061315496,581,26,110,11,13,178,85,138,0.073,0.7559999999999999,0.171,0.9013,3,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,3,0,2,9,5,0,2,0,17,4,1,2,0,29,32,14,0,3,6,3,2,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,8,10,0,0,7,1,0,0,7,5,0,0,7,3,17,4,11,25,3,7,0,0,0,0,13,3,2,2,4,73,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10180682044004664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16951009361174355,0.0,0.0,0.19140618917584648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500964547486244,0.0,0.1574407333463604,0.0,0.168889012968333,0.1193108928280903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725503876371084,0.0,0.0,0.14007879094088335,0.0,0.1841274408692892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18823069689047173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18839284194304826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08159190832445337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11147945849995447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16024914261174966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5563294650339267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10698990999173466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17143180667796715,0.13815114203281054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16517565897949915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14597277436378092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095301442170163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338779647484044,0.0,0.0,0.34772343902423525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19701185931196424,0.13256355931487954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920515120471557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nikkiduck,2018/01/23,"Tips for Severe Depression? Hello!

I've been in a very suicidal depressive cycle for about two months now, and I'm just...stuck. I have some coping mechanisms that work for my usual level of depression, but nothing seems to be helping this time. 

I'm making sure I eat semi-regularly, taking my meds, getting sleep, and trying to keep myself distracted with old hobbies (even if they're not enjoyable, it does take my mind off things for a bit). I'm currently trying to get into meditation/mindfulness at the suggestion of my therapist but it's proving to be a bit difficult (so far I've used Headspace and Calm). A solid exercise schedule seems really daunting/near impossible right now, but I'm planning on taking my dog for a walk tomorrow if it doesn't rain.

Does anyone have anything that helped them get out of a severe depressive state? 

Thank you and sorry for the wall of text!",5.518353413654619,7.067433626506027,6.438734939759038,73.5387449799197,68.1566265060241,10.11164658634538,30.700803212851405,10.317481424215053,3.4765477911646587,706,28,120,19,12,234,112,166,0.177,0.759,0.064,-0.9552,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,1,2,5,10,0,1,8,0,6,3,1,2,2,22,22,10,1,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,7,1,1,3,1,0,1,2,6,0,1,1,0,10,4,22,19,3,21,0,4,0,0,6,10,0,5,9,69,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757988060676739,0.0,0.10307262999414607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27348789238349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4315212499562317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192196657718168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12816519195186316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272849202230435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19631872716609752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679090269633789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113307113383347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360741762678575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912795909204315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.252939853040758,0.0,0.09997583035709813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120183728652399,0.0,0.13143205982199516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08024034388841986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696546401448068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22805143822682766,0.0,0.28300070485317746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253435574460296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14021059211984474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700656326189162,0.0,0.11804956552839177,0.0,0.2825242323818619,0.0,0.0,0.11531622725805032,0.0,0.14542850432210588,0.08321259484508331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303609054184773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17007726770859485,0.0,0.1223540798403592,0.0,0.0,0.10817846401092038,0.137948595296652,0.10334692601824523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118574939758764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,les_incompetents,2018/01/23,"Nonstop Impulses I always thought my BP2/ADD (?) was all about *distractions*. Shiny things, and all that. A partly external problem that I just suck at filtering out. I never considered my overpowering urges and habits to be impulse-based, and it is revolutionizing the way I’m seeing things. 

I Googled around to learn more, and I came across a bullshit shaming listicle from BP Hope (I thought they were our friends!!!) basically saying “just discipline yourself!”. As if everybody gets the impulse to stay up into the wee hours organizing their bathroom, or the compulsion to spend their whole paycheck on something they didn’t give a shit about a week ago, or the brilliant idea to start their own business with no money, but they’re just better at controlling it. 

At work, it seems to take me twice the time to do things as everyone else, and it’s largely due to constant small, but uncontrollable things I “have to do”.

Fuck all that. I figured I’d check in with the real BP ni••az. Where do you think our nonstop impulses come from and has anyone had any luck with controlling them? 


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bipolarreddit,useless83,2018/01/23,Electroconvulsive Therapy? Has anyone tried electroshock therapy? Thoughts. I'm getting desperate about beating this depression.,12.951250000000002,17.226351625000007,9.57,33.57500000000002,95.25,14.1,60.25,9.516144504307137,11.705675,110,9,7,5,4,32,15,16,0.455,0.545,0.0,-0.8759999999999999,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499444465548397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3078799013247022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18675817349039728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8175736634516892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837834284976707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24269197591084216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Marcus7771,2018/01/23,"Bipolar and Shift Work...thoughts please Hi i understand that its not the best idea to work shifts like a 2 day ,then 2 over night then 4 days off. But i need to do this for my job. If i stay on my lithium and use other drugs as needed like sleeping pills or antipsychotics to make sure i sleep after backshifts i think ill be fine. Keep in mind i will be very carful of getting the rest is need and that after the 2 backshift i will have 4 days off. So in total of 8 days only 2 of them i will be working overnight.

Also keep in mind that i have been working a 6am start shift every second week and 10am the next week for 5 years and get up at 5am for that somtimes after only 4 or 5 hours sleep and have done fine.

It seems to be mostly getting stressed and not taking meds drinking too much coffee or drinks that has cause me problems in the past

Thoughts please

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bipolarreddit,Incdeath,2018/01/24,"Pre shift anxiety so I work for a starbucks inside albertsons. I've been here for about a month and everything has been going okay. But I've found that I always without fail get anxious about the day ahead of me, I've been this way since I got my first job 4 years ago. Once I go to work I'm 90% better, but it starts again the next day. You would think that if you had a good day then it would disprove all the worries you've had, but there's always the thought of ""today was good, but tomorrow could just as easily be terrible"". I know many of you deal with this as well but I just felt like ranting to people who would actually understand me, after all misery loves company.

I'm about to go into work and I'm dreading every tick of the clock. Good luck to everyone else who's fighting the good fight today.

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bipolarreddit,littleluna_tic,2018/01/24,"Is it normal to crave being manic again? As some background, I have not been manic in almost 2 years. I also  stopped taking medication for bipolar disorder about 3 months ago. This was with the approval of my therapist and psychiatrist after going though a lot of different therapy including DBT. Lately, I have been having slight symptoms which, because of the therapy, I am able to think differently about them instead of being delusional about it. I know it can be super destructive in many ways, but I crave mania a lot. Just, the euphoria and intense feelings of love towards people, and the sex feeling so much better. Is this normal?",6.848684210526315,8.530647508771931,7.356973684210532,67.6975657894737,65.14035087719299,9.910526315789477,34.42543859649123,10.125756701596842,4.009880701754386,512,23,75,12,8,168,83,114,0.046,0.76,0.195,0.9657,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,3,9,4,1,0,6,0,13,5,0,0,0,18,20,8,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,2,8,3,17,14,4,12,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,4,7,65,14,0,0.16719520531760515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14820846153262895,0.0,0.16742184682821146,0.0,0.0,0.13370594528652496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019206453118222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147870572129179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3493668077428733,0.19162019040725534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690778389248095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502088819701356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188611231019024,0.0,0.18860347410880013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842867692078109,0.15090020053577996,0.0,0.0,0.16950969586690434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684315795297725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13345361774920933,0.0,0.12290771363532693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3276316046158109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11591210352760165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13978267815123044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17377983622573184,0.12570998669880307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3824045769746197,0.1941265199430636,0.0,0.10713193652102304,0.16426844032812293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327117716848947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10766823051440594
bipolarreddit,[deleted],2018/01/24,Do you get sleep paralysis? I'm curious because I get sleep paralysis and wondered if Bipolar disorder could be related to it. ,5.412608695652175,7.95789569565218,7.364565217391306,62.74510869565219,70.30434782608695,13.295652173913044,46.28260869565217,12.161744961471696,7.633017391304348,103,8,15,5,2,36,19,23,0.113,0.792,0.096,-0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,4,7,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20791383267911426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723175932615645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3908971345735076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563912408130108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6826350182320516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36987715814608063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mr_nicey_nice,2018/01/24,"Stem cell research When you are bipolar, have absolutely no hope so you invest your life savings into crypto currencies so one day you can possibly be rich and cure your bipolar with the future of stem cell injections. Maybe a long shot but better than dying. ",5.489680851063831,7.952804297872338,5.562712765957446,76.10875000000001,69.85106382978725,8.104255319148937,28.77127659574468,8.841846274778883,2.6481106382978723,210,8,33,4,4,66,40,47,0.034,0.8079999999999999,0.158,0.7574,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,5,0,1,3,4,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,0,0,6,5,5,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,5,4,4,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,4,22,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32771574398531056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389699980942561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3845658044341699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36803344974134666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.261725936252564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3279194673904003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722608980034744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510899650470781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4177322869443875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Anarchergal,2018/01/24,"Recent upset and trouble with meds.  So i haven't been formally diagnosed because I'm not 18 but I'm currently on an atypical antipyschotic (Saphris). Lately I've been having a few episodes. I'm extra irritable and my mood has been kind of volatile. Last week, my long distance bf and i broke up. He was cheating on me and I've been really upset. I can't tell if what I'm feeling is normal or if it's a side effect of this disorder.  I don't know if i should go up on my medications or ride this out. Does anyone have any advice or have felt anything similar? ",1.8590988142292488,3.917058704347826,4.186403162055338,83.6688537549407,79.34782608695652,7.6600790513834,26.10671936758893,8.575989854853784,2.055,441,18,89,10,11,153,78,115,0.207,0.778,0.015,-0.9727,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,1,7,1,2,3,0,14,2,0,1,0,20,22,12,0,5,8,0,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,4,0,0,2,4,5,0,0,6,2,9,1,9,15,2,15,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,6,6,54,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324466861630879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617617577646741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16632629206718064,0.0,0.19574916341247076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500513776021015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414360292333449,0.0,0.0,0.2726230002040495,0.0,0.20816421479121924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12027570690158675,0.0,0.2283953280524811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13518867488476596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477080645154241,0.13072874816505675,0.19389819644109302,0.26833103991374085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21051006849741388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26422321426258977,0.2396319638495409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2330649782316659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238749791267778,0.0,0.2348708333010199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20791143623157465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19080732602646852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Squeakiez,2018/01/24,"Medication advice- Divalproex Hi guys, this is my first post so I apologize for any mistakes!! So my psych prescribed me divalproex (generic Depakote) and its really been helping me. But when I went to pick up my refill, the pharmacy told me that it was now $114 instead of the usual $10 I pay for it. 

Have you had this experience? I don’t understand why the price would raise by more than $100 in less than a month. I didn’t switch insurance or anything. I called my insurance company and they just said “the price of the medication rose this year”. 

What should I do? Should I ask my psych to switch mood stabilizers for me? I really don’t want to switch up my medication again. I was just starting to feel normal again after months of hypomania. 

Thanks in advance! ",3.1412548262548228,5.476005364864864,4.478803088803087,81.78067567567571,76.43243243243244,8.552895752895754,26.787644787644787,9.23628265651192,2.4805158301158303,606,24,118,16,14,200,93,148,0.028,0.898,0.07400000000000001,0.746,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,2,9,3,0,0,6,0,13,3,0,1,0,15,22,7,0,6,4,0,1,0,0,3,3,1,0,1,8,2,0,0,2,0,3,2,3,1,0,1,8,2,22,1,18,11,2,18,0,0,0,0,10,4,0,1,11,83,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175559764701699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221736330152471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478432652085061,0.0,0.16795602232894505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834509534388021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17574004410024954,0.0,0.0,0.09084050692018944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15281704339798774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778897127913794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12042100218874252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5429597455166306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28680267890252786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176026741503426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720627474031448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301870912305456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1708959444210412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12716289069279846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16540499228868574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17167096343222754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870303633956094,0.0,0.0,0.19786795738832028,0.0,0.10596697117617432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665448099198608,0.16211344381823525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12762392228011926,0.0,0.0,0.11569389224897755
bipolarreddit,Brocktreee,2018/01/24,"Best bipolar videos I've found (youtube) Since I was diagnosed, I've been nigh-obsessively looking for all the videos on Bipolar I could find. I thought the community would like a compilation of what I've found:

Stephen Fry's ""The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive"" parts [1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yT_F0dMZRU), [2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7tLn57pf-8), and [10 years later](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NJEA9t4vs0) -- Stephen Fry's intimate expose into his own bipolar, how it's affected his life, and the research being done at the time of filming.

[Of Two Minds](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-SpgW2V4zs): A documentary that follows multiple individuals with bipolar disorder as they try to manage their condition and learn about it.

[Dr. Patrick McKeon: What Bipolar Disorder is and what to do](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHGf82yy33Q) : A lecture given on bipolar disorder discussing the features and traits of the illness, what aggravates it, and how to avoid the condition. Features of how it can present.

[Ride the Tiger: A Guide Through the Bipolar Brain](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxnbAFQINoM) : A documentary looking at the neuroscience behind bipolar disorder, and the technologies being used to explore the illness and possible treatments.

[Mindscape: Richard Dreyfuss on Living with Bipolar](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsE6c4XkiAc) : A 20-minute long interview with Richard Dreyfuss on his struggle with bipolar and treatment.

[Coping with Bipolar Disorder: Eight Practical Strategies](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ly5zmx3ZORc) : Lecture broken up into three parts given by David Miklowitz, author of the HUGELY helpful [Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide](https://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Disorder-Survival-Guide-Second/dp/1606235427), including practical tips to help manage and prevent episodes, as well as what leads up to them.

[Bipolar Disorder: Preventing Relapse, by Dr. Patrick McKeon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mdopKvBqNA) : Lecture given on how to prevent relapse in bipolar disorder.

[What's New in Bipolar Disorder?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xwjbm6qICI) A lecture by Paul Erickson, MD on the then-most current developments in bipolar disorder.

[DOCS: Being Bipolar](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMFLeNDKwxY) : A mental health documentary looking at bipolar disorder, multiple people that have been affected by it, by a psychologist seeking to understand the disorder better.

[Mood Disorders and Creativity](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MOHA-_O4EI) : Lecture given by Kay Redfield Jamison on famous historical figures that may have suffered mood disorders, and how their possible disorders may have impacted their work. Spoilers: Bepeeps like poetry. LOL

[Kay Redfield Jamison: Understanding Suicide](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVV6vlaSfVQ) : A lecture on suicide, the scope of the problem, given by Kay Jamison, bipolar patient and researcher.

[Why do people die by suicide?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Arywx88jMXw) : A lecture given on suicide including warning signs, how to talk to someone that's suicidal, and why people commit suicide. *Note: The techniques presented in this video helped me talk a fellow redditor through a depression that they couldn't see a way through. Definitely recommend this video.

There's a metric shitton of videos out there. Here are some of the best I've found. Hope you can find some use out of them! <3",11.608918732782366,16.216018080578515,7.627210743801656,58.33884641873282,59.309917355371894,10.314325068870524,47.273415977961434,10.317481424215053,6.673082093663912,2877,180,296,76,48,791,235,484,0.179,0.7390000000000001,0.08199999999999999,-0.9929,1,1,0,0,0,6,264.0,0,1,7,6,11,15,0,2,36,1,20,25,0,11,2,62,40,23,5,5,0,0,0,2,1,3,25,0,0,0,18,23,0,4,12,6,0,4,1,6,1,3,14,4,15,7,65,18,8,36,0,3,4,0,20,23,0,5,10,189,33,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106983911460489,0.046645777413475656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058877217506578115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04210998269604692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085275584159393,0.053531749463260905,0.05473759269641487,0.0,0.8462523455037906,0.0,0.0,0.053973105076146506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640997814198557,0.0,0.0,0.17348576604457538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05606199656920638,0.0,0.0,0.10605501697900686,0.0,0.0,0.052384441981883946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450609248921433,0.051533893959827236,0.0,0.04657191709785943,0.04667477460626281,0.13286931879581915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05315126254424452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05093829502635356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422831582539425,0.0,0.10969343195520112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891676022805575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050466716188857015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0420283332342032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04362850710414234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04468789977933831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05513711148275182,0.0,0.2307635851905981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478361539405108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04187104521967165,0.030754129036732563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035808175098912584,0.0,0.05152101011519843,0.10981200956082332,0.0,0.09110384787863557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04186393325612927,0.0,0.0,0.04742115259069274,0.0,0.0951824223580798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03839661025774317,0.0,0.0,0.03746621435999206,0.0,0.0,0.0339639472733651
bipolarreddit,sseeege,2018/01/24,"99 problems and hypomania is all of them I’ve been fairly manic the past 2 or so weeks, sleeping maybe 4-5 hours on a good day/night (I work at a 24-hour hospital) and eating just enough that I don’t crumble every time I stand. Additionally, I’ve been having relationship problems that have been overwhelming me to uncontrollable tears every second that I stop and think about my life. I’ve been go-go-go nonstop, working 70 hour weeks because I couldn’t say no when I was asked to pick up shifts, and have definitely not been chill towards my body. 


I‘m now starting to feel the repercussions of the past few weeks— my body is dragging, my words don’t come out right (even the kids I work with called me out on it), and my thoughts would get a reckless driving ticket if they could operate a motor vehicle. I have to work 11pm-7am tonight after waking up at 5 this morning to work 7-3pm, not sleeping after, and barely stomaching a chocolate bar for dinner. I’m incredibly anxious about my body giving out on me at work and I don’t know what to do to make sure I can maintain during this shift. 😞



If anyone has advice, I would greatly appreciate it


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bipolarreddit,FuckinOmlettes,2018/01/24,When you miss a dose of your medications can you tell it that day or the next day? I guess the reason I ask is because it seems like every time I miss a dose of medications I have a terrible day. Or if I miss a night dose the next morning is really bad. Is this all just a coincidence or is my body sensitive to substances? <3 Thanks!,1.1988571428571433,3.2479103142857144,3.481428571428569,87.91357142857143,81.57142857142857,7.428571428571428,21.42857142857143,8.418075326091056,1.1817142857142855,262,8,59,6,7,90,44,70,0.174,0.7490000000000001,0.076,-0.7136,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,3,0,0,2,7,0,0,8,0,6,6,1,1,1,9,13,5,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,9,2,3,13,1,8,0,3,0,0,5,0,0,6,9,37,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19581143189910047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748855341160777,0.12768135523603705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23265643275107886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4052419541611604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764742234458328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307374497102125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10232875740673636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4220062043977893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4455139021069157,0.19655860713228765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418174386824064,0.215353834193494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906792655044458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18307223010964765,0.19283731499591214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12213444658028412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cherpumples,2018/01/24,"Trying an alternative route to recovery in case meds don't work out I've been on a bit of a rollercoaster for the past couple of months, being switched on and off various medications (I posted in here a while back about going on quetiapine and immediately having to be taken off it because it gave me hallucinations) and battling through referral systems to try and get therapy and a diagnosis. I've finally been referred to a neurologist and a psychiatrist, but the psychiatry appointment isn't til May 31st (my doc's pretty pissed off, he'd requested it as an 'urgent appointment' U_U), so until then it's basically up to me to keep myself stable. 

i've started keeping a bullet journal where i can track my moods, am using dbt self help books every day, meditating every night, have quit alcohol, and this morning started at a yoga class; i'm trying literally everything that mentally-well people have been telling me to do for years. do any of you have any lifestyle changes/natural remedies i haven't mentioned that work for you? i wish i could rely on meds and therapy to get me through, but the healthcare system is so slow-moving in the UK that i feel i should have a back-up plan, and also it doesn't hurt to fill my life with things other than antidepressants sometimes. i don't wanna turn into one of those 'you don't need drugs, nature is the real antidepressant' kinda people, but if it turns out those people are correct then i'm frankly quite happy to be wrong if it means an easier way to recover lol. (i hope all this makes sense, i'm a rambly person when i'm not in a depressive phase)",12.193014509920044,7.692710338762217,11.975978679301159,58.90987859046496,57.990228013029316,15.2027243115191,44.52146875925378,12.719339214003902,5.482051465798044,1282,51,227,31,11,434,184,307,0.038,0.833,0.129,0.9819,0,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,0,3,0,5,8,8,2,0,19,1,28,5,1,2,2,37,50,24,0,8,6,0,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,2,16,13,1,2,3,2,0,2,7,5,0,1,5,1,21,2,43,38,3,38,0,2,0,0,11,17,1,5,15,154,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298170541051302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202657853543517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1565118354458515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17697334100641846,0.0,0.07014952289571755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12563365571590712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091879164542609,0.1273298796786034,0.0,0.07421477654060853,0.0,0.0991151595023442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334521230599082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939137089394456,0.0,0.10342327403452536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058186100061115825,0.0,0.0,0.12606060285905826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024536888717025,0.0,0.06540058642441347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12250099829515684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713330451766494,0.0,0.0,0.1142968592285386,0.0,0.0,0.12319169709776988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045704347200088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128188487579215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681440980715071,0.0,0.0,0.1253519667743642,0.2556479405460034,0.11592739536172393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185290757503273,0.0,0.0,0.0853277138271058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10799143293777533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797876635630276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985347245898447,0.2393385187688889,0.1004802989234299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021140872745147,0.11707409881259295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447958941329337,0.0,0.13098216941092336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004981247502546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138135305799194,0.0,0.16290337719961448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058187097016434,0.0,0.263199850686156,0.0,0.07645166592848827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343880240201853,0.25034021901214626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938908655134364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134231281462356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323322139251258,0.0,0.0,0.1675540214401841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581800989242234,0.0,0.07410544721831372
bipolarreddit,thatgirltag,2018/01/25,is bipolar disorder caused by faulty brain mechanisms? such as overactivity in diff parts of the brain?,6.370000000000001,10.117594529411768,5.772058823529411,68.81926470588239,74.29411764705883,10.458823529411768,32.029411764705884,10.125756701596842,4.512082352941177,85,4,13,3,2,26,16,17,0.263,0.737,0.0,-0.6553,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7646161580462851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518094609225534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39249854222019176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3708599849201111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ede123,2018/01/25,"He always says he will die young.. 
A very close friend who I dated for a while was later diagnosed BP2, I am not BP. He will often make comments that he will die young and won’t be around later in life. I ask if he feels suicidal, he says no, he’s convinced he’ll die of a heart attack.

I know BP can have a higher risk of suicide - I get terrified when I hear these comments.

Anyone else been there? Said these things? Advice in general?",0.3495757575757565,2.66507997777778,2.154242424242426,94.19045454545456,88.11111111111109,5.050505050505051,17.070707070707073,6.574015621080383,-0.1464444444444446,338,8,73,4,11,111,63,90,0.311,0.63,0.059,-0.9808,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,1,4,0,10,3,1,1,0,10,18,4,5,1,2,0,1,0,1,5,2,4,0,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,5,6,2,6,9,0,11,0,0,0,0,17,4,0,2,7,39,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17285793035394725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14718926414152506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368779733864226,0.18124792748407528,0.0,0.15747239924425585,0.16537120825829987,0.2012414853050567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17954281480644485,0.5507614584044848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14777152108972272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944248726471096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666720213424152,0.0,0.09241936531263156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19937142640072664,0.2096192240991025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972158442806079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12494485702287372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807754538809025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16826588545899598,0.2813450517998218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3869847712373173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751994289001015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145955367287046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,swild89,2018/01/25,"How do you know you've got a case of the rapid cycles? Fairly new to my diagnosis (BP2) and I'm currently on lamictal 25mg heading to 75 as a goal dose. 

I've been having deep sad days followed by not bad maybe I can figure this out days and my daylio is showing a little bit of a roller coaster ride. 

Im wondering - is this what rapid cycling is or am I just wonky cause of the meds or am I just trying to get out of the depression and this is what it looks like?(only been tracking for three months) or am I overthinking it and should just chill? 

Thanks for your insights!",2.992035480859009,4.196233226890758,4.043977591036416,89.61948646125119,73.87394957983193,7.3056956115779625,24.986928104575163,7.793537801064563,1.1168479925303454,450,14,99,6,9,146,79,119,0.066,0.884,0.05,-0.4371,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,0,1,4,4,0,0,7,0,13,2,1,2,0,20,21,9,0,1,7,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,4,2,0,2,1,3,0,1,3,1,8,1,14,17,1,12,0,2,1,0,2,5,0,4,5,62,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023252872468586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645483378144309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24892718654303325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31254993995373365,0.0,0.2087080133833709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660107790271144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938037247485514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486880278657777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617448652820838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317155591269722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11838426397343002,0.24286614982913124,0.0,0.0,0.2034859688338445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434408550152336,0.0,0.2691605101823226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19341579996164013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23403209427399976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230937243932633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645179173388699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627833770889689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,crazyDBA,2018/01/25,"Cannot get help I moved from one state to another. I have bipolar I and I'm in my 30s, married, working. My old psychiatrist refuses to help me without a live appointment; I'm 14 hours away. He has been refilling my current medications but won't even adjust the dose or return messages. I am in the process of getting in to see a psychiatrist in the new state, but I have to see a case worker first, and that is over a month away. I have been to the ER--they refused to help me and basically kicked me out, saying they wouldn't touch my meds and said Benadryl would help me sleep and that would make me better.

I have been experiencing severe mixed episodes, mania and anxiety to the point of it crippling my life. I am trying to figure out how to get help without being hospitalized, because I am in fear of losing my new job to absences. Any advice?",3.7427810650887565,5.23390327810651,5.0504142011834325,82.00804733727813,72.43195266272191,7.803550295857987,28.384615384615394,8.384062270229773,1.980020118343196,670,26,133,11,13,223,97,169,0.163,0.8140000000000001,0.023,-0.9683,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,5,2,3,0,1,9,0,18,5,1,2,0,22,27,10,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,4,4,2,0,0,3,8,0,2,2,0,0,1,5,2,0,2,4,6,21,1,26,18,0,22,0,1,2,0,12,11,0,1,8,90,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13536407905157244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09420109069748406,0.1452545237512616,0.10597050391240094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26029577252759506,0.0,0.0,0.08444296304953823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251324763708067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09149381546679894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558780458983188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11782846928566545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21711926516403887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4642486872616766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13641826616270486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374637253213363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978436191414546,0.0,0.0,0.12231925650563412,0.0,0.0,0.15497295666992628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924658657858569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15386896949611747,0.13954838691507154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11056855927418778,0.1472291216038115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26757474304507817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14535766739870945,0.0,0.0938674678637883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309499834208842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13176807436208118,0.11015986872751007,0.0,0.0,0.2207714345353869,0.0,0.0,0.1564927247787238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386240705539178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09404872351977686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26706444365769283,0.0,0.1008471437668092,0.0,0.0,0.19680699314847752,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,screw_hypomania,2018/01/25,"How do you folks reach to vitamin D supplements? I've been trying high dose vitamin D supplements >5000iu on some days, and have been noticing  fatigue and exercise intolerance on those days that i dose this. And relatively much calmer than usual.

Just wondering if its a bipolar thing, and you guys notice the same?",7.185535714285718,9.070135053571429,6.727142857142859,71.76785714285714,64.53571428571428,11.314285714285715,35.42857142857143,11.20814326018867,4.5568714285714265,257,12,42,8,4,80,44,56,0.035,0.816,0.14800000000000002,0.6553,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,4,7,0,1,0,10,5,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,3,0,4,3,3,6,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,3,3,28,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3608449717069073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770070437189099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29558250405655584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056562795334783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6370187460444661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18586055577366206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18993912856361966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30811684983221793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033885090003576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,GossamerTheMonster,2018/01/26,Fast Cycling I've been experiencing extreme mood swings in a single day. I thought it was a hormone problem but a friend said it could be from my bipolar diagnosis. I haven't mentioned it to my psychiatrist because i didn't think it was related since I had never heard about that being a symptom before. I've definitely never met someone else who has described the same thing. I'm taking lamictal but I can't tell it working other than not being in a depression for months at a time anymore. Does anyone else here experience this?,4.934975247524751,6.888678079207923,6.157512376237623,73.40280321782178,70.1881188118812,8.218316831683168,33.41707920792079,8.841846274778883,3.134216831683169,430,21,72,8,8,144,75,101,0.02,0.8540000000000001,0.126,0.9,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,7,0,12,2,0,0,2,10,19,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,10,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,9,3,7,1,8,6,2,9,0,1,0,0,7,3,0,0,6,52,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21375775555848844,0.15071057453760642,0.22084619398700708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13139117905615966,0.0,0.18340865862336989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17209114562182246,0.0,0.0,0.13900546419333176,0.0,0.18564427998621988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886205002194284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3601120130347792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108394718646952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16652566378642916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17204196590133572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3324754601712327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062426638215425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20502789133816696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17829690939356518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18262633646680296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22402858133431305,0.16205925032122992,0.0,0.18839145403868726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14319519381599288,0.1381093242787201,0.0,0.1711146782521204,0.125683103142892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15691568184543428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FaithNevermore,2018/01/26,"I feel like I'm overanalyzing I've been diagnosed for ten years. Heavily overmedicated for 3, then in denial for 7. I'm now almost a week into Lamictal and terrified it's going to trigger mania. I've been obsessively recording every dream, paranoid thought, and mood variance and I feel completely lost. I can't tell if feeling happy is normal or the beginnings of an episode and I'm overthinking until I'm 10 feet deep in depression. Last night I had my first suicidal ideation/thoughts of self harm in months. I was on my way home from the store (picking up supplies to eat my feelings- is this why people gain weight on these meds?) And I sobbed the whole way home and sat in my driveway for 10 minutea before I could regain my composure. Total hopelessness. I feel so lost. Have any of you experienced depression from Lamictal? The overanalyzing is killing me and the more I look at it the more lost I feel.",3.8508164739884414,6.273732127167634,4.99681719653179,78.49615065028905,74.54913294797687,8.486849710982659,29.887644508670522,9.188382445141503,2.925162138728324,730,33,132,18,16,240,112,173,0.23,0.7090000000000001,0.061,-0.985,0,0,0,0,0,1,19.0,0,1,0,5,2,13,1,1,8,0,10,4,1,2,1,23,28,12,2,3,2,0,7,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,4,8,2,0,7,1,1,1,1,10,0,2,9,9,17,2,21,18,4,23,0,7,1,0,3,10,1,3,11,78,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13376412749845862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084105404833244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11366933580549884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400592853069936,0.0,0.0,0.10665519484011654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23010976865009206,0.1355839827897239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366888081271974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254948013548258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4052616196434956,0.09543175686565536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362567320143872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07591832514453149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422016395808613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679893795988027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477898516950484,0.0,0.0,0.10888801399156207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526193017969645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217611737285256,0.0,0.43746503370299505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14838065324790706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10662471522042584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535864228173732,0.13088302561051762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09260966647196242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935625344204627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461181741521918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167574726991713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21210003900014116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120640129650424,0.10715226426757753,0.16266816614606094,0.0,0.0,0.12053792416908615,0.1491407036341946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602310383566736
bipolarreddit,LabraderpTrickster,2018/01/26,"Medication adjustments, I'm frustrated . 22/F, Bipolar 2. I need a rant . I'm in college. I struggled with schooling my entire life, I guess for the simple fact that things don't hold my attention or interests for long. Pair that with depression and random hypomania, anxiety and well... nothing good. I dropped out of hignschool but got my vrade 12 and now I'm trying to better myself . While I'm doing better than before due to medication, it's still a struggle. 
Back in February  2017, I made the hard choice to see my doctor and have a referal put in to see a psychiatrist . Since I live in a shitty area, we have one fly in once every so often. So when I seen him, he put me on lamotragine and said that was the issue at hand to be dealt with first, then we would see what the next point of action would be (ADHD, depression, anxiety). Since I've been doing well with anxiety, he suspected ADHD would be next and seemed to think I would be able to notice after the dose was increased a few times. 
 Fast forward to today. I'm on 150mg of lamotragine, clonazepam as needed (when I get aggressive, panic attacks etc). I was leveled out for months at 125mgs, but had a checkup for refills back in October where my family doctor increased them because the psychiatrist wanted to see about getting me up to 300mgs. Since it was what the psychiatrist wanted, family doctor wanted to keep increasing to ""see what the differance is""... I was hesitant because I'm in school, I don't want to jeopardize anything, and this dosage I was on was tried and true as far as I was concerned. After telling him how I felt he said ""your feeling good now, maybe you could be feeling better"" so... benefit of the doubt, I did as I was told. 
Yesterday I had another appointment. I went in, figuring it was the usual routine. Told him I couldn't concentrate, I was feeling distracted often and easily, and my interests were shifting pretty often so I was concerned. I asked to see the psychiatrist again to talk about ADHD since that's what was suggested before, and seems to be what I'm dealing with. I was told WE DONT HAVE ONE RIGHT NOW.... BUT would very soon and I would have a referral put in  to see him/her for when we do and they visit. Awesome, right? 
So now he wants to lower my dosage back to 125mgs to ""see the difference"" which is the same shit I was told when he increased it to 150mgs. I don't want to do that. I'm uncomfortable, possibly distressed about the thought of it altogether since I'm so sensitive to these things. I can't afford a hypomanic/depressive spiral right now, not while I'm in school... so I'm thinking I'll just keep my dosage until I see another psychiatrist....  FML",4.5372062423500585,5.961309005813956,5.6220685434516575,78.94074051407591,70.37596899224806,9.152509179926561,29.082823337413306,9.549672527348893,2.7030550387596897,2101,80,395,48,38,696,231,516,0.129,0.765,0.105,-0.8433,2,0,0,0,0,0,86.0,4,2,2,4,33,23,4,6,23,0,49,11,2,2,2,74,102,37,0,16,6,0,6,0,0,6,9,2,0,0,20,24,0,3,14,0,0,11,7,12,2,3,32,18,51,11,67,56,7,70,0,2,10,0,28,27,1,9,33,267,71,7,0.05992764770452325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160641605018104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12567872761210555,0.13753345939432604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049315347894316776,0.0,0.05602426096593688,0.06817635070001607,0.0,0.13824198591553868,0.0,0.07306267562472271,0.0,0.10198802863346834,0.0,0.0,0.15900340327804796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04784735033498692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061782773369183135,0.15484678546519046,0.0,0.0,0.1252232738032006,0.0,0.18401546033232052,0.0,0.0,0.07023475679187026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683516834879698,0.0,0.0,0.05049162784931256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298890566352245,0.0,0.09090365791124627,0.0,0.057539939706465926,0.0,0.0,0.05097442652341445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06261944500633784,0.0,0.0,0.10052893529313348,0.047929614364110536,0.0,0.06601706024927477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05368340135364354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06254889451184963,0.0,0.1065328935777335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042328669844799466,0.0,0.0,0.052917210848496335,0.053034082405406836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056704989247922485,0.0,0.0,0.06020537694251257,0.0,0.0,0.12074160070801693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047833676654641534,0.0,0.0,0.08887118286487428,0.0,0.0,0.12746746639620155,0.0,0.0,0.05750219423008646,0.06822802410937433,0.0,0.06382098897847666,0.08121705004859553,0.0,0.0,0.0703121824482416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056650997408334076,0.06755941849232296,0.0,0.060967962093747885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807315142112224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535336511016764,0.11400983252048172,0.0,0.0,0.18194993658418207,0.4297911872562096,0.10911175949031307,0.0,0.0,0.0615148691852553,0.2478638472820281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04785829686853062,0.0,0.0,0.1252987781361456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0481675732059464,0.052379405511747655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962653255684225,0.07679843375340133,0.0,0.04757585829418495,0.03494429330188432,0.0,0.0568044028679645,0.22905374209837856,0.0,0.08137387807452433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660018374322366,0.04944658548721845,0.21208127572764449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10776430461505504,0.05555352981150373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554252891264964,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tiravalo23,2018/01/26,"Let's go cycling through Manicville...(venting) I just have to vent a little. I am suddenly in a phase where I cry at...every little thing. And in between crying I am drunk on manic energy. I love the creativity that my manic side allows me. I love being able to draw again and write. I am getting things done around the house and well, you all know the story. It's just bittersweet because I know I have to see my therapist and stop this cycling before I do something really bad or go into a psychotic episode (Its pretty devastating to my life when I do). I already emailed my therapist so I am trying to enjoy the energy for the last few hours while I can. It's like a drug isn't it? It can destroy your life but you still want it. IDK. Can anyone relate?? ",1.9498903508771936,4.141187717105268,3.8883157894736833,85.23387719298245,79.72368421052632,6.684912280701754,23.291228070175446,7.793537801064563,1.3033722807017538,591,20,116,10,15,200,97,152,0.126,0.741,0.133,-0.2584,0,0,2,0,0,0,24.0,0,3,0,0,9,7,1,0,9,0,15,6,0,1,1,17,24,9,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,10,6,1,1,2,1,0,2,1,2,1,0,1,1,22,5,13,21,2,19,0,0,1,2,7,9,0,1,9,86,32,0,0.15375443616229084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16967184365134585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750867673337998,0.0,0.0,0.1368740460178874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12837853186842385,0.09372727718745157,0.0,0.13083370062478614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3377840567443245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15734417059405684,0.0,0.0,0.17830633214546782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12954474384118553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033034691447054,0.0,0.1747643786868034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15141714814723453,0.1774119758655271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16899883417781966,0.12533038680349526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15722432815770498,0.21720261064062,0.07511665107233828,0.3082046755486282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27753876322089016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15642353729463312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09849902891291214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252237896738916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11836767671984101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278849133190743,0.12854559329958454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35704150201310314,0.2042952307622697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438916944793693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906883500885966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382437032753625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dalyblue,2018/01/27,"My cat just died.... She wasn’t even a full year old yet. Around 2am tonight I realized I hadn’t seen her since the morning, so I looked for her. Finally found her under my bed. She wasn’t waking up when I called her, and when I reached out to her she was rock hard and cold. I had to pull her stiff body out to the middle of my bedroom floor and absolutely fucking lost it. She’d probably been dead since midday. Picking her up and walking her to my car, and from my car into the pet hospital sent me even more over the edge. I couldn’t handle it. I don’t know what to do. Neither I nor the technicians know what happened. I don’t know what to fucking do. She was my medicine. She was my fucking cure for this stupid fucking disease and made me feel like maybe I had a purpose and she was the one thing who made me feel loved. Gave me the purest and most wholesomely full heart. I haven’t felt love like that...maybe ever. I felt a little less fucking lonely in this endless depression because I had someone who would sleep with me and be close to me and make me feel loved. And she fucking died. I can’t handle this. I have no one to hug me and no one to hold me right now because my closest friend is on a ship in the middle of the fucking ocean for who knows how much longer. 

I just. really? really. This has to be a joke. I’m fucking done. I’m so fucking over this life and feeling cold and alone and not being able to hold onto any kind of fucking love I get. 

I keep thinking that this is karma for just being a shit person inside. I hate myself. I hate this. I just want to love and feel fucking loved. and now. she died.",0.7607810457516351,2.8737549147058843,2.149215686274509,96.4753594771242,83.67647058823529,4.954248366013072,20.326797385620914,6.139981653823899,-0.06597712418300627,1261,37,286,10,36,405,158,340,0.123,0.76,0.118,-0.4036,0,3,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,0,1,16,30,15,0,15,0,29,25,5,5,1,56,75,23,4,3,5,0,8,2,1,1,2,0,3,1,17,23,0,4,14,2,0,5,13,18,0,3,21,12,57,12,34,47,7,37,1,3,2,18,31,22,12,1,12,197,74,0,0.06876936200565978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07122431928342783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04676552436575481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0612193121364518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384232956901813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638725824537031,0.0,0.0,0.07022120748339031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0592309507267415,0.0,0.21411522143948966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07037493354430292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084303005087684,0.062205825054396015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738592785909652,0.049128845957611585,0.13205874400303302,0.07533347465734151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754020558884199,0.05313103849579453,0.6993378374344593,0.03592915329721275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0608125197072992,0.0,0.061603840677784336,0.13579101523119572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149202508827526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611253687119494,0.0,0.07161270801435256,0.15117537153649024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04857383413624888,0.06719447320263251,0.0689249670893032,0.0,0.0,0.05774894407835428,0.0,0.07506988225066252,0.0,0.3724022048715655,0.13014246620673195,0.04590408314162542,0.0,0.13817613473035908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0505533937783667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07216187717309716,0.0,0.1397996983803376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060046754345395276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07414500350525574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811082848195954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05872865940342323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059076185652331,0.11377345378812055,0.0,0.06881902641645847,0.0,0.05826805726238084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045687308382735235,0.044064630388093017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04056195146366947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04885178167943379,0.0,0.0,0.04428521443954564
bipolarreddit,krazykat9,2018/01/27,What’s causing my agitation? I’m having a lot of agitation and anxiety. I take lamictal  and gabapentin twice a day and I can always tell when it’s wearing off. I don’t know what’s going on. ,-0.31641666666666524,1.957541525,3.235000000000003,83.74333333333333,96.25,6.666666666666668,24.16666666666667,7.793537801064563,1.9101666666666668,151,7,31,4,6,55,30,40,0.174,0.826,0.0,-0.5719,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,1,1,0,6,7,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,3,7,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,21,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3572158591647052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32841688171915223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4410141323241242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27686598336422386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439837255736305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.235934608014134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3649794608255016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32278366871284925,0.0,0.37523118592872734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bp2dad,2018/01/28,"Dad needs help with son's bipolar 2 My 18 year old son was diagnosed a few weeks ago with bipolar 2 with psychotic features. Prior to this he was being treated for anxiety with zoloft. About a year ago he started smoking pot to help with the anxiety and convinced me that it was better for him than zoloft. As of last October he started zoloft AND weed. Since then he's had deep depression and some scary ""rages"".

He agreed to go see a psychiatrist and that's when he got the diagnosis. The doctor prescribed Latuda but he complained about extra anxiety, then when the dose went up to 40mg he had a severe reaction of akathisia and panic attack. 

So he stopped taking it and we have an appointment in a few days with the pdoc.

He keeps insisting that we find a drug with no side effects or he goes back to smoking. He thinks the doctor is stupid and isn't worried about how THC might make paranoia worse.

I don't think he knows just how irritable he is almost all the time. I walk on tiptoes worrying that something I say will trigger a 2 hour lecture. Looking at other med options it seems Seroquel might be better since it helps with anxiety but he looked at the side effect list and balked. 

How do I convince him to keep trying until he finds something that works for him? This seems like a catch 22, he thinks he's smarter than the pdoc but that belief would go away on the right med. 

I love my son! I want him to feel ""normal"". But nothing in my life has prepared me for how to handle this.",4.1624437596302,5.571886077966101,4.559545454545456,86.25595916795072,71.27118644067797,7.397534668721107,27.98536209553159,7.84624498591911,1.6365254237288136,1183,43,235,15,22,373,164,295,0.155,0.7290000000000001,0.115,-0.9346,0,0,3,0,0,0,24.0,2,0,0,5,12,13,3,1,19,0,18,12,0,8,1,55,41,24,0,4,6,4,1,1,0,4,11,1,0,0,14,18,0,3,12,0,0,5,3,6,0,0,7,5,17,7,37,28,5,37,1,1,3,1,34,12,0,8,21,135,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867431136044552,0.0,0.10547601884129007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3223185438535273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11983176046568175,0.0989640410241852,0.0809947553779675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18631737192546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793122215078826,0.0,0.09072336039414487,0.10691101561194616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21562605740467905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221531107503436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053259648193872265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19254533583586966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972660896601092,0.0,0.0842446098789391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118079399543901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10373201806451078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872500369093518,0.0,0.0,0.05788839089337657,0.08586064462983177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07439997849095402,0.05146049771327474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17690677599191318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506735647945556,0.0,0.0703107518505567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340029553564653,0.0,0.0,0.22348383193187188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810325859347368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032042052938228,0.10107007920606112,0.0,0.110529510486773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12358585518944487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08995400659871977,0.0,0.0837652157167663,0.0,0.0,0.08393695023230545,0.19178284101424026,0.0,0.11899657289552246,0.0,0.1742654798658521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621813398283974,0.0,0.0,0.14911081083166094,0.0,0.0,0.08806330042155991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919748334389419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024798501940412,0.0,0.0,0.06142065601338999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151435186444857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062128270706059995,0.0,0.08449196698796646,0.0,0.0,0.09764496352536003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668384911516272,0.21394202494630404,0.10734356466645158,0.07482570751980863,0.0,0.0,0.1356622988635224
bipolarreddit,Mrssomethingstarwars,2018/01/28,"Mania, Hypersexuality, Relationship, Mlehh... Ugh. I already typed like 3 paragraphs and it all disappeared. Anywho, as indicated, I'm experiencing my second manic episode in a four month period, despite meds. I'm not complaining! But what I'm getting at is that I'd appreciate if you just bear with me. TIA.

In my last manic episode, I expressed my hypersexuality by posting in GoneWild-essque subs. That's what I'm doing this time, but also selling content and it's just not enough for me. I want to meet some of these people I encounter and it all just seems so RATIONAL in my head. Like, not everyone is a serial killer, right? The only problem I see is my boyfriend, and that is obviously a bigger problem.

Ah, my boyfriend. He is amazing. I love him so much, I just want MORE. Like, I want to do the things I want to do and come out together at the end of this phase I'm going through. I've never had that kind of freedom before. I've steadily been in relationships for almost 10 years now and only been with two people in my life. So it seems fair to want to explore a bit, doesn't it? But I don't think it's fair that I'd have to sacrifice my relationship to do so. Ugh.

I really can't afford to be in this kind of a headspace. I'm starting college back up tomorrow and I love my life. I had a talk with my boyfriend though, and he said once he is comfortable with what I'm already doing, we can explore the idea of me having different experiences and such. So I wasn't shut down, so that's good. But I started to spiral because he asked if it's something I would risk our relationship for. And I explained that it feels like this is what it will take for me to be happy, and I don't think it's fair to leverage my happiness against our relationship so I couldn't answer... Is that bad?

What are your experiences with hypersexuality especially in regards to relationships? How do you get through it? How do I curb the appeal to just ""fuck it, yolo"" it?",2.548897435897437,4.640706017948723,4.489358974358975,82.17147435897436,77.28205128205127,7.3076923076923075,26.474358974358967,8.256446698504663,1.7962051282051283,1537,61,311,29,36,524,181,390,0.077,0.733,0.19,0.9927,2,0,1,0,0,0,58.0,3,3,0,0,19,21,1,1,11,1,33,6,1,2,4,61,64,29,0,11,14,0,1,4,0,2,2,1,0,0,32,19,0,1,10,0,1,5,10,8,1,3,6,4,42,13,45,53,7,34,1,0,1,3,26,16,1,6,16,212,74,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055512124767114,0.0,0.19958910311662248,0.07231886588480478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454221310148953,0.0,0.0,0.06953703765320844,0.07550738968717574,0.05512683421371587,0.0,0.07695142695210122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098728906832475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789962180081134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448275190611716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08009638456338784,0.09344098320584003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641216297323677,0.0,0.1769207445231093,0.0,0.0,0.04572540709051113,0.06460502135706954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360342176429496,0.09449453455961868,0.0,0.05139489388485257,0.07585052014863125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1925342310330684,0.0,0.0,0.09280987110467108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208732497745338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18834313896551186,0.0,0.07371458621847356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277503483177553,0.17672307548516875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632377878358568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045016027056808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721823869773705,0.0,0.06647831881786186,0.0,0.06974714628732606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630769879939566,0.0,0.13755603643144482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253890670526981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660937104889703,0.0,0.0,0.1730634463889805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05793339783288923,0.0,0.0,0.5825441975102565,0.0,0.07722889111427185,0.08602205000501527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07206302237177982,0.16465276763431308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961938388274236,0.0,0.0,0.12801722801575602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06799401215083856,0.07268624642875053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060079358191322076,0.11589103435363995,0.08884950687673594,0.0,0.05273193862932117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883394467217831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2666972620174875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06424067851000978,0.0,0.0,0.05823558784869005
bipolarreddit,WorkingAction,2018/01/28,"Sleep-talking and Restlessness with Bipolar Disorder? I've struggled with Bipolar Disorder for years. I'm almost 20, and I notice a lot that I end up sleep talking. I've had a couple occasions where I wake up in the middle of the night and I start having a conversation with one of my friends, just like I would do at any other point in the day. I would feel like my friend is sitting in the chair in the corner of my room just having a conversation with me in the dark, and I will wake up and talk for a couple of minutes (what it seems like at least) before I seem to pull out of it and freak out a little when I realize that it wasn't real.

It gets WAY worse when my boyfriend sleeps over at my apartment. When I used to stay at my ex's house as well, I remember sleep-talking over there.

When my boyfriend slept over last week, I had at least 4 instances within the night of tossing and turning where I started having nightmares, and then talking through them. There were a couple points in the night where I ""woke up"" and shook my boyfriend on the shoulder and started talking to him like he was my old best friend Shelby. I began talking to ""Shelby"" about how our friendship had been on the rocks but we should try and be best friends again. He was mostly sound asleep and wrapped his arms around me and I remember thinking ""Oh, that's not Shelby"" right before I fell back into a short, but deep sleep.

It happened with another nightmare that same night, I woke up crying and saying ""I don't know why you would do this, why did you have to do that? Why did you cheat on me? You know loyalty is so important to me,"" because in my dream I guess my boyfriend had been unfaithful or something, and I was in the in-between of asleep and awake and I started lecturing my very-faithful boyfriend on why he dream-cheated on me (lol). But after a minute of talking to him (he's a heavy sleeper, so he didn't really fully listen right away to what I was saying), I snap out of it almost every time, even just a little bit and realize that I wasn't actually having a convo with anyone.

It's a really bizarre scenario, and it's happened a few times.

Another one I can specifically think of included sleep walking and sleep talking at my ex's house. I started having a full-on conversation at 3 am after having been sound asleep, and I started talking about how I wanted to watch the movie School of Rock (idk why haha). 

It's hard because it's not a full-on sleeptalking I don't think. I have a weird experience where in the moment, I am aware that I am having a conversation, even though I think my body is about 10% aware that the people I am talking to are just from my dreams. It's so strange. I'm sorry if this is confusing, but if anyone has any experience with intense & regular sleep-talking, please do share!!",6.172932551319648,5.727297657754015,6.401788281294923,81.39725547697087,66.18360071301248,9.163843367258927,32.178770628486,8.460557738077197,2.3029909838422182,2210,79,447,27,31,710,230,561,0.06,0.84,0.099,0.9669,0,0,1,0,0,0,71.0,2,4,1,2,29,20,1,4,32,2,49,16,14,3,0,76,78,40,0,7,13,2,2,4,4,5,2,5,1,0,24,34,0,0,13,4,0,4,7,7,1,2,21,8,65,13,74,51,9,88,0,0,1,0,38,52,0,11,33,310,89,2,0.0,0.0,0.052537418446276435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782051681934934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058332669595686275,0.0,0.07322239212466372,0.1129061629461603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752885548888619,0.0,0.0,0.04792659271602191,0.0,0.0,0.05058189608869594,0.0413975445814353,0.0,0.06563741148643534,0.0,0.0916231187109734,0.0,0.11299780619463698,0.0,0.05877636522937465,0.0598010805227521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17870977653134554,0.059137723273831024,0.034720591281934075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12340437257230748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04768384968181979,0.0,0.0,0.07111803041225832,0.0,0.04536022976749375,0.0,0.0,0.1053263793793236,0.0,0.0,0.02722174602797985,0.03846136306743382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16637819365833936,0.0,0.028127756366633918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0593078327840514,0.0,0.09521625651560964,0.0,0.04822762750627002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424198389138935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05917512144022099,0.043884568170708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10520870090053472,0.10791819477786463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04577052959572934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20209055822899316,0.0,0.0,0.06129409927957905,0.05649316818833298,0.0,0.07296306750570511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037323990699934174,0.0,0.0,0.059097165606534614,0.10178726131265793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06127861028927688,0.06897907936492031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197428492428145,0.0919534846687668,0.0,0.08562713069077722,0.0,0.054486200856048016,0.0,0.09802287412057567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43100927927099336,0.0,0.0,0.04144656783326325,0.0,0.060266426419397674,0.2286378201960767,0.0573833764235043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056282413619183486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5192683890845998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798701880772735,0.05289485353563243,0.0,0.0627859009801264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03655197865226582,0.058559500081459936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04649812359329484,0.0,0.0,0.03175462218904649,0.04273352636516757,0.043185018015487145,0.0,0.048406179660729985,0.0,0.2428988534387175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05486478702321533,0.11473337557846383,0.0,0.0,0.034669442725117336
bipolarreddit,One_two_bucklemyshoe,2018/01/28,"Jumping up and down during mania I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. During my manic episodes, when I get excited I start jumping up and down (and I usually put my headphones on to intensify my mania). I've been doing this since I can remember and it's taking its toll on my knees. I'm currently taking meds for my disorder, but they're not stopping my jumping up and down. Does anyone have a similar issue? How do/did you stop/control it?",4.003251231527096,5.811105712643684,5.939901477832514,74.61310344827587,72.33333333333333,9.109359605911333,31.968801313628894,9.606745405546679,3.4463904761904764,355,17,61,9,7,123,58,87,0.052000000000000005,0.905,0.043,-0.1764,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,5,3,1,1,0,11,10,8,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,6,0,1,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,2,0,11,1,11,8,0,17,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,5,41,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15206856205879926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24392470175832964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207397840617498,0.0,0.0,0.49850672566476206,0.0,0.1903200776135497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362543671952036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269948401654724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415736186750137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21862960969128026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463648577657823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799034653951369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393497104041814,0.0,0.0,0.3636495978932226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3270389916604964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23952584063207946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pumpernickle89,2018/01/28,"Anyone with bipolar disorder have family members that are Undiagnosed and in denial about being bipolar? I have Bipolar disorde type 2 with basically every anxiety disorder. My dad's side of the family basically all have anxiety disorders but have not acknowledged they may have a problem and need to be formally diagnosed as far as I know. My father for sure has a problem as he has been in the hospital many times throughout my life with Atrial Fribulation thats resulted when he's under a lot of stress.
My mother is the one I'm not sure may have Bipolar disorder or some kind of disorder. Her mood is up and down, where one day she'll be absolutely vicious and will find a way to be verbally vicious to anyone around her. Of course to her family she will be meaner, but to friends she'll just make snarky remarks. And then maybe the next day she will be so sweet and just the best mother I could ever ask for. Her and I will get into pretty bad fights where we have even been violent and I'm not proud of it but she gets so mad over a mistake I've made and then I can't take it anymore and we will get into a fight of course it's 99 percent of the time just verbal abuse. I'm in my 20s and it's embarrassing that this is still happening but I've noticed a patters, her and my grandma are the same way. What do you guys may think this is? Any help",3.5900139033715703,5.021775547445259,5.088352450469241,81.82086374695865,72.72262773722629,8.868682655543969,27.64615919360445,9.362217197678863,2.3876932916232185,1076,40,216,25,21,362,144,274,0.221,0.6890000000000001,0.09,-0.9911,0,0,0,0,3,1,14.0,2,1,1,2,13,20,6,2,14,0,36,6,0,3,4,53,50,25,0,5,11,4,0,0,1,10,6,0,0,1,10,20,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,12,0,2,3,1,25,7,31,30,6,26,0,0,0,0,26,14,0,6,10,154,35,1,0.0,0.11666108730775655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06695737451419785,0.0,0.1506459567587662,0.0,0.0976476103758821,0.13769350659136004,0.0,0.0,0.08765184322884732,0.09204845604935624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221145846605657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332954454390957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861370499944696,0.0,0.0,0.12699938182083964,0.0,0.0,0.09993661576128253,0.0,0.0,0.6770742570343096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06503306514376679,0.08906430071340947,0.08295828105209127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784629588427007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999226662433038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607131302682994,0.0,0.15432662025668306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974926244528474,0.08706941090508499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06599684354086786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253277335224656,0.054112009362521384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954645431567054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.083708668972101,0.0,0.09316689984969488,0.06572399066042375,0.0998247724185284,0.09891807402505948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07300814887112435,0.0,0.0,0.10471520084332216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1120993685643549,0.0,0.0,0.13344047619658758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017100953134048,0.0,0.18842921724278255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07863169027037098,0.0,0.112787615630175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855980907552732,0.0,0.0740309912584437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309032133692459,0.0,0.0,0.1148276903868489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630872721412134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dos4g,2018/01/28,"Acceptance...for now. I've been on disability for a good while now. Anyone on disability can probably relate to the strong desire to be away from it. The Social Security office generally treats you like a criminal, you never know who agrees with the negative stigma and sees you as some sort of lazy leach on society, and some days, you fight with the notion yourself. Many people tie worth to one's ability to work and contribute, and it's easy to fall into that realm of thought where you feel worthless and ashamed. 

Anyway, to my story. Around June last year, I was put on a game-changing medication. My anxiety disappeared seemingly overnight, and I felt more confident and comfortable than I have for most of my life. Gears started turning in my head. I could go out among the people! Maybe I could find some companionship and stop feeling so lonely. Maybe I could earn my keep and feel some pride for a change.

This lead to me starting a second part-time job with the intention of ramping up my hours carefully and slowly, the goal being to eventually be making enough to support myself without the SSDI check, Medicare, etc. I was certain I was on track to being an honest, ""normal"" person. I took on more and more responsibilities. Things were looking good for about 6 months.

Then the medication turned on me, as it seems they all eventually do. Every day, things get worse. While it still keeps the majority of my anxiety at bay, I now have a persistent depression. I've lost interest in many things, including wanting to do a good job at work. I let things slip, do the bare minimum, and count each second until I am able to go home. Increasing hours at a job that I am having less and less of a tolerance for seems like a good way to speed up an inevitable crash and burn. If something doesn't change soon, I will likely have a breakdown and/or wind up in the hospital.

And for what?

Before I started the new med and took the second part-time job, I was doing okay for myself. My first part time job was enough to keep me connected to the outside world, even though the pay might have been considered token at best. I kept myself busy with personal projects. At times I felt lonely, but I had friends. I had trouble with anxiety and depression, but I had time and space to cope. 

In my current situation, I feel like I'm on a speeding train. There are no time-outs when I am feeling terrible. What time I have for my own interests is tainted by dread of the next workday and this consistent, low current of depression. The second part-time job has made the first one, *the one I found rewarding and enjoyable,* feel like an inescapable chore. All I want to do now is go home and hide. All this effort put in to build a ""respectable life"" and dig myself out from under disability, and I feel so much more frightened, fragile, and trapped than before. 

No medication has been effective for me for such a long duration. I was certain it was the one, so I ended up biting off more than I could chew. Now, I'm dependent on a drug that makes me miserable and puts me in a precarious emotional state every day. I stress out and hide from my responsibilities. Every day I feel inadequate and not up to snuff. 

And why? Because I felt guilty for being on disability? Because I was certain that life free off it would be better? That I couldn't have companionship, self-worth, or be among the living if I wasn't earning my keep in traditional terms?

After much thought, *I have made a conscious choice to ""regress.""* Clearly, working full time is not an attainable goal for me right now. I'm cutting my current average of 15 hours per week at my second job to around 7. Between it and my first job, I'm likely looking at around 10 a week, which I think will be manageable. Also, I'm getting off the ""wonder drug"" that keeps my anxiety at bay at the cost of my sanity and happiness. I will regroup, stabilize, and *find some damned peace.*

Being off disability wasn't in the cards this time, and *that's okay.* There's a reason I was put on it in the first place. Maybe I will find an opportunity to be financially independent in the future, maybe not. But I will stop with the self-shaming. I can still have a worthwhile life, whatever the circumstances. 

**TL;DR - I found a wonder drug, thought it would finally get me off disability. It didn't, and that's okay. Life goes on.**

*EDIT: Added TL;DR and fixed some grammar.*",3.980250932804463,6.046768721957044,4.826225083196075,81.4830644727554,72.99761336515512,8.253346330969109,27.196611650811796,8.961289427747246,2.240006164913106,3471,129,657,74,71,1123,353,838,0.117,0.76,0.122,-0.5079,11,5,4,0,1,0,141.0,0,5,1,23,25,52,3,4,55,3,69,13,1,10,8,132,128,52,0,13,10,0,12,6,1,8,11,0,3,2,30,48,1,9,29,0,5,13,13,17,0,13,33,15,79,36,116,71,30,130,0,9,3,0,14,59,1,18,62,460,109,20,0.04639156941774542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03709932130255862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195769450106335,0.0,0.0,0.03243806399460337,0.0,0.0,0.12389499709701053,0.0,0.0,0.043586406585052716,0.0,0.0,0.05655974025215586,0.0,0.07895161734792129,0.0,0.048685089971539385,0.04102957317909526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04729929685741661,0.0,0.1472283874241681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481595730548382,0.0,0.0,0.11967489758265655,0.0,0.11987097228381464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16139847652822598,0.0,0.0,0.05218427146042793,0.041089160756803036,0.09586978491345023,0.05173886295833849,0.030641194071109323,0.0,0.11726069425929855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18765577126646826,0.06628429292302239,0.13362954543186184,0.0508196966951416,0.1272031619810288,0.1578425809903601,0.0,0.10173192270419673,0.035842011452886506,0.0,0.07271304083806747,0.0,0.07909619398272448,0.15564418957800774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04938468829291806,0.0,0.0,0.04761113419070785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09306905332672824,0.0,0.13705905301935478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36829179448415855,0.20617479231174948,0.0,0.0,0.02549559330763947,0.03781532087575122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04743852285463633,0.1638386872072758,0.13598746493295405,0.0,0.04096460572882115,0.04105507907715122,0.07791446859117236,0.0,0.050641878185913126,0.0,0.0,0.0877936493685851,0.061933465645570715,0.09406753988970244,0.186426267723456,0.0,0.05153057539242099,0.14020387664322292,0.0,0.049214123953303636,0.0,0.0,0.037029308107855166,0.0,0.06820628280886776,0.0,0.03578003828450184,0.04480526682782518,0.04933796037665249,0.0,0.04545388816655637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12574451224287034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20095019541592427,0.0,0.06432414598185139,0.08101465801865224,0.048469316099320585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05001795824149072,0.0,0.0,0.18654536280914447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047698259866418034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03961814680352575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0369680744892028,0.12669942735726147,0.09679304905610372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05214606775610904,0.0,0.04729036279329495,0.0,0.035714496624797316,0.0,0.0,0.09850857482993278,0.0,0.0740967345268894,0.07757085862040984,0.05314138602727565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05264460321028743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328198933549316,0.02972584447341928,0.04557948141007158,0.1104891723873008,0.18935908039024266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308548118065,0.0,0.10092141170399313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05472589921340769,0.036823468453993334,0.07442503738117093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041861175652484414,0.0,0.0,0.04471981743169132,0.1006193562033711,0.10132084517113127,0.0,0.047276972579337724,0.06591047975042948,0.0,0.0,0.02987464969767844
bipolarreddit,ClitCum,2018/01/29,"Job I’m unemployed and don’t know what to work in.

What do you guys do?",-3.3584313725490205,-1.9990413529411768,-0.19176470588235264,106.53039215686277,109.58823529411764,4.619607843137255,11.549019607843142,6.42735559955562,-1.1040039215686273,55,1,16,1,3,19,14,17,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,9,3,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5920288353339924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5933373567219702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285978817399656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4352884921144476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ModernModernist,2018/01/29,"I’m bored but don’t want to do anything? So I’m bored at school. Not really sure why, I’ve got a lot going on I feel at sometimes and at others literally nothing. I’m on some meds for bipolarism but I’m finding that I almost enjoy just sitting and doing nothing over everything.",1.4312643678160877,3.644079482758624,4.048965517241381,83.2509195402299,81.75862068965517,6.625287356321839,25.18390804597701,7.793537801064563,1.6640252873563215,222,9,43,4,6,78,41,58,0.124,0.782,0.094,-0.1674,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,13,11,5,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,1,2,2,8,10,2,8,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,3,0,25,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616735653216893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21504354588403815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348569672699693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321309069471034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388411369130597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485137995166135,0.0,0.2090009432317248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221643527463973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902668696477578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5014858972443953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16740785670939426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644691169997641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2584515030665598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24629037953855695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15413291363782142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358000531507497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,maddyj1494,2018/01/29,"My meds make it so much worse I was diagnosed with bipolar two 3 or so years ago and it's awful. I am always depressed unless i'm hypomanic, which doesn't happen very often. I miss being super happy when i'm manic because it's a lot better than the depression. i am on lamictal and latuda right now, and the latuda is ruining my life. i think about suicide everyday to make myself feel better, but i know that's not an option because i can't hurt my family. i have akathesia from the latuda and i also have this feeling like i'm not a person. i don't want to hang out with my friends or anyone anymore and i'm always stressed out and depressed. i'm slowly getting off of the latuda since it is ruining any happiness i could possibly have but each day that goes by i want to kill myself even more. 

if anyone has any advice for me that'd be great because i can't seem to find anything that makes me feel better. ",3.914226677577741,4.765672771276595,5.553191489361705,81.00653846153848,71.28723404255321,7.9122749590834704,26.695581014729953,8.139509932561175,1.72387348608838,723,23,140,10,13,247,113,188,0.151,0.66,0.189,0.8232,0,0,0,0,0,2,12.0,0,0,0,4,8,18,1,1,7,1,17,3,0,3,0,35,36,16,2,4,8,0,3,1,1,0,3,0,0,1,10,11,0,0,7,0,0,1,6,9,0,1,1,3,21,9,17,31,4,12,0,7,0,0,2,5,0,7,7,96,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12241344285435345,0.1110452479280515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017923194302847,0.20847113624314512,0.0,0.0,0.17037725094736314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423524322846816,0.1751848940953028,0.0,0.10308741941955528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290922504140551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323762524800072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10001875851443856,0.0,0.0,0.08078947876779817,0.0,0.3236873752412396,0.127147502317163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08274036235938657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11809441893072822,0.0,0.1900224556856135,0.08949367969242525,0.0,0.0,0.11449549138701945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678412037138172,0.0,0.0654489653507245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13811180039935575,0.0,0.0,0.11077679627707897,0.2667067735597201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13410527473061226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13859388199262684,0.0,0.06884570568451312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848266367528942,0.061201118657316735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10650098666058982,0.0,0.0,0.25085824223078085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13914792193352146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208865264349347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938186914858683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14122431265788485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10698081200503352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404208014803237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362552622953987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434975910525162,0.0,0.0,0.1370262217138788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026864545362139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237163587378352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033617548011501,0.1477762492170622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276619257523461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067046393848852
bipolarreddit,OwnedByCats,2018/01/29,"I just asked my boss to fire me Isnt it lovely how you can be superfunctioning for a while and suddenly wake up to the reality of what a fucking shithead you are?

How do you get people to leave you alone?

Ive dreamt of hanging myself for a week. I dont know why Im writing this. When Im alone and all is quiet I can hear whispers of how fucking useless I am. Shadows moved last night. How can one be so´empty but full of shit at the same time I can feel the black bile hiding in my throayt waiting to spill out and Im scared all the time because thefres thjkis fucking creature i can feelk it hunting and i cant sleep or close my eyes and i cant shut the lights and the scream i want to fill the world with is stuck and it is like it will burst my chest I wear my mask of calm still and tomorrow I will take care of my husband and cats and life and work but under it is death and it will come for me",1.9922504230118463,2.9884637918781745,3.308649746192895,94.73309306260576,76.05583756345176,6.065516074450085,23.79323181049069,6.079149491110277,0.2579491708967856,705,21,171,4,15,230,112,197,0.174,0.768,0.058,-0.968,0,2,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,4,0,1,7,11,4,1,10,0,22,11,6,5,2,33,37,21,1,1,4,1,2,1,0,3,1,4,0,0,8,16,0,1,2,0,0,4,4,7,0,1,1,9,25,4,20,31,4,23,0,1,2,4,9,9,4,1,11,112,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31504610437630826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14218694120151726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271481840156973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15506951407861758,0.0,0.0,0.13101512887196046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17825251171702844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769030704411427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4218241176289724,0.07946260416180492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17142048837561166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4928614107996404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358663929571243,0.12397654558389608,0.0,0.1610451123539916,0.0,0.0,0.10742817462635118,0.07430522759321481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13727036996902192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616513772131857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14272949665866316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030625279184102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544251948392022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15227217977376722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15612184680456415,0.0,0.0,0.1522033934308178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146210812112093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435542379450905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17737394804956208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08970871833592448,0.0,0.12200027430398752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724077520134534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11072591821738352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,imjustrikki,2018/01/29,"New diagnosis, new medications (Abilify) and, of course, new questions Hi everyone! A little background here, before I ask any questions:

I've been struggling with mental health issues for approximately eight years now, and I am twenty-years-old. I was ""officially"" diagnosed with depression and anxiety in 2016, and started an anti-depressant. It worked alright at the start, but I continually seemed to be on some sort of a wave. Sometimes it was really, really bad, but then other times it seemed like everything was fine and I couldn't remember what it was like to be depressed.

Over time, this lead to me having more questions/concerns, and I spent some time doing research, and combined with some family history, this resulted in a personal hunch that I might have some form of bipolar disorder. I was pretty convinced I might have bipolar type II.

In the past few weeks, I finally found got enrolled with a Nurse Practitioner, and I was able to talk about the crushing depression I was feeling. At first, she decided I was experiencing severe depression, and sent me for blood tests before she planned to increase my Wellbutrin prescription. However, after my blood tests and talking some more, she did further screening. Based on the questionnaires I filled out and what we talked about, she and the doctor she works under confirmed that I have bipolar disorder. Despite the fact that I had been thinking about it, it was still a shock and I'm trying to get myself oriented in this new world.

Now, about new medications... Originally, I was going to be given lamotrigine 25mg twice daily, but the nurse practitioner had to consult the doctor to figure out if I would stay on my Wellbutrin at the same time or if I needed to be weaned off Wellbutrin first. In the end, they decided to keep me on Wellbutrin, add Abilify once daily at night, and if I reached the max dose of Abilify without optimal results, then they would add lamotrigine or another mood stabilizer.

So, last week I started Abilify at the 2mg dose. I take it at approximately 11:00pm, and then go to bed. However, I am having a tough time figuring out if my symptoms over the past few days are related, if they're typical, if they're likely to last, etc.

**Disclaimer: I know that you cannot provide medical advice, nor do I want medical advice from strangers on the Internet! I will be telling my nurse practitioner everything when I see her next, which will be on Wednesday of this week. I am just hoping to find some insight from other people who have taken Abilify and had similar experiences or who can provide additional reliable resources about Abilify, because I am struggling to find this information myself.**

* The nurse practitioner told me that they wanted me on Abilify to help me get better sleep. However, I don't find it makes it easy to sleep at all. The first night, I ended up being mostly awake until 7:30am, and then slept until 10:30am. The second night, I was awake until 1:45am and slept until 10:00am, and I had similar patterns the rest of the nights so far. Last night, I went to bed around 11:00pm as usual, and still was up until around 1:00am and woke up at 5:25am. I know that it takes a while for medications to really start working, but is this at all normal? This is almost worse than my sleep lately before I started it.
* I keep feeling so, so sick. The first day, I got a little bit queasy but didn't think much of it until I woke up and couldn't get out of bed at first because I felt so sick. Over the weekend, it made me so sick that I missed two shifts at work because I couldn't be bending over and lifting things up and walking around. I actually threw up once, but that was it. I did some research online and ended up making the decision to try taking gravol with it, but I know it can make me more drowsy and it's definitely causing dry mouth. I'm wondering if anyone else has taken Abilify and had this problem? Does it go away over time, and only come back when changing doses?
* Last night specifically, while I was trying to sleep, I experienced something I don't think I ever have before. I think I had some auditory hallucinations, I heard a repetitive noise, and then it was almost like people were talking despite the fact that I was alone with my boyfriend who was sleeping soundly. I've never had them before, and I don't understand where this would come from. Could it be from taking the Abilify? Or is it likely unrelated and coincidental?

Thank you in advance to everyone who reads and/or responds! ",6.441028708133969,7.558530327751198,6.767665071770338,73.61465550239238,65.69856459330143,9.955598086124406,33.142583732057425,10.061858954937977,3.431559617224881,3598,150,623,81,55,1164,351,836,0.102,0.838,0.06,-0.9906,3,1,1,0,0,0,125.0,1,2,4,13,25,23,0,2,34,1,74,29,10,9,6,143,137,72,0,20,20,0,3,5,0,7,19,2,3,1,49,50,0,2,28,2,1,13,11,11,0,9,48,9,84,11,104,69,23,141,0,5,2,0,34,53,0,31,79,450,133,14,0.048796270329627175,0.0,0.047618120895097586,0.0,0.0,0.09536630123860353,0.0,0.0,0.0977248322569524,0.05053821987634242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033183137119555214,0.05116714406580152,0.03732901324089955,0.0,0.0,0.03411948678427222,0.04999754542914492,0.0,0.13031707801033282,0.045617925745900664,0.0,0.045845702249679085,0.03752131986947089,0.04074284750366537,0.0892372604470024,0.0,0.20761016017690484,0.0,0.0,0.04315633571970786,0.05327288907674027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050127211179811317,0.051619983854198116,0.08406733234383583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03895985126955307,0.0,0.0,0.0629391150957699,0.0,0.21014078066516276,0.04952718723115048,0.0,0.0,0.11184950661671277,0.0998901007147764,0.0427019449977197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04076302245975418,0.0,0.12965703603505574,0.0,0.054420740129065365,0.0,0.044139020152346116,0.0,0.09325385483636768,0.08770988274118931,0.047732115652544135,0.0460007809099258,0.0,0.0493457208850679,0.0,0.04685207179348768,0.053453929003256094,0.13379672118691802,0.20753041307397316,0.0,0.05350259178263399,0.0,0.0,0.07648211176633216,0.0,0.08319613481645446,0.0,0.07805367001346163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05186815354392235,0.0,0.0,0.032707111420715564,0.0,0.0,0.04846570665165149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05093062855509305,0.0,0.08674473424432641,0.0,0.0,0.0804514621213436,0.15910189228036056,0.05504431834775101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11919696444118145,0.09781336422093008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04617221083035068,0.09771566806282507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457855436454749,0.04917516348699727,0.10353026321815234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035870873263100116,0.03618181615412227,0.03763469187285391,0.2356387097658021,0.05189538707717579,0.2747519649260952,0.047809984493853284,0.0,0.0,0.05120347729475811,0.10393287072613888,0.0,0.037111762429835764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316312288541076,0.06765837964628539,0.042607021091943205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0496433495010757,0.0,0.0466914406251986,0.0,0.0,0.1093259806405372,0.0,0.048809475293379256,0.0,0.0937804208192144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055276662019060105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03888430977829596,0.08884458369669522,0.0,0.05512589616633707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441575520624204,0.0,0.0,0.03756575286982095,0.048260759073402826,0.0,0.17269125646167585,0.05201033162102362,0.07793752903590455,0.0,0.0,0.102024913109377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05071800863069517,0.14675489006843476,0.15688237488434326,0.0426500910507703,0.0449250497338444,0.0,0.0,0.032418073767988595,0.12506671888074394,0.0,0.0,0.17072098583050094,0.0,0.0,0.04662692741818383,0.0,0.09938839344752654,0.0,0.04766686573665349,0.0507986383060428,0.0,0.0,0.053742197882938665,0.0,0.05756260901636798,0.0,0.11742427413832207,0.0,0.0,0.0452346314644773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047037863298793184,0.052917473662948133,0.14209706384297327,0.0,0.04972756824789158,0.10399041122632743,0.0,0.0,0.031423198243713965
bipolarreddit,IronLadyDragon,2018/01/30,"How to thwart midnight random racing thoughts? I like to think up fun stories or scenarios to avoid those worrying, terrible, racing thoughts I’ll get the rest of my night. My favorites are astronaut puppies adventures, living in the HP universe, pray, what kind of powers I’d have, and which book I’d live in.

What are y’alls favorite strategies?",7.5150000000000015,8.749668725806451,6.442096774193548,76.48314516129034,63.354838709677416,9.425806451612903,38.08064516129032,9.516144504307137,3.832406451612904,279,14,45,5,4,84,48,62,0.105,0.6679999999999999,0.227,0.8385,1,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,1,1,6,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,8,7,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,4,4,8,5,1,4,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,2,25,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689882011276582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33682126058240497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15802032764733126,0.0,0.5712209214933361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3035339848551942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072523825162517,0.0,0.5135630767359866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32847708807553555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CharlyyBitMe,2018/01/30,"I just got diagnosed After years of suspecting that I had bipolar disorder, I finally saw a psychologist and got diagnosed. I was really pushed to go after I saw how detrimental it was to those around me and the suicidal thoughts were becoming constant. I was a little disappointed when my doctor suggested medication to help with my treatment. I avoided medication for the longest because I would hate for them to zombify me. I don’t wanna be out of it nor feel unlike myself. 

This leads me to ask, does anyone have alternatives for treatment? Has it worked? How long until you noticed a significant improvement? I have so many questions after finally being diagnosed and I just wanna know how to cope and where to go from here. Any input is appreciated!",5.327769607843138,7.918180551470589,6.877058823529412,65.94343137254904,70.69117647058823,10.709803921568627,33.392156862745104,10.686352973137794,4.632727450980392,609,30,93,21,12,208,89,136,0.133,0.79,0.077,-0.8333,0,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,1,2,11,3,1,1,5,0,13,7,0,4,0,22,24,11,1,3,2,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,5,0,0,4,2,3,0,0,10,3,19,0,22,11,0,18,0,1,2,0,6,4,0,1,10,79,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553575677091212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851372627729328,0.0,0.0,0.13815361899472728,0.14508339879280935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460349071785433,0.1713971681923975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16770722041066996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4725492800462669,0.0,0.0,0.17786326655492166,0.15884539992217991,0.13580940417681106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07846964526363097,0.0,0.0,0.3400100978646023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1763981710878304,0.0,0.2482421449165305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532197890376781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10402180309653702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08528936356752534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554297018652535,0.0,0.13733987373635465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15734014330922694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126788556310308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17668691134942902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17385035146092054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994198513720178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16975465827301867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12320496696961634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298149052003954,0.0,0.0,0.11024381355855696,0.0,0.0,0.0999384414699728
bipolarreddit,LisaArouet,2018/01/30,"What happens if you take medication? I am going to be evaluated for bipolar disorder soon and if diagnosed will have to decide whether or not to take medication. What happens emotionally and intellectually if you take medicine for it?

I’m very afraid to take medication because I had a very bad experience at age 12. I was on antidepressants for two years (11-13) and became a bit self absorbed and had serious impulse control problems. It ultimately led to suicide. Twice.",5.989285714285713,8.472911738095242,7.492380952380955,62.719285714285746,68.52380952380952,10.514285714285714,39.38095238095238,10.608840637214634,5.1112809523809535,382,23,60,12,7,131,58,84,0.173,0.8,0.027000000000000003,-0.9178,0,0,0,0,0,1,10.0,0,2,0,1,1,4,0,1,2,0,7,5,0,2,0,14,15,9,1,4,6,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,4,4,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,4,0,2,3,0,5,0,10,10,1,7,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,4,3,41,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372540965180326,0.10020719634528727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179465175046382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18437106752374255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16684669219252393,0.0,0.0,0.1883987487040948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849103094553746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16079947304112208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09342343517675177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2907291404657161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4967999263264778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15729365743423945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714887661856669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17980983833698164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4943864035063848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16057965977812805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712686694351012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585815545317444
bipolarreddit,talkshitaboutsunsets,2018/01/30,"i seem to only have bipolar spectrum symptoms as reactions to medications...is this a thing? So I know I'm only 22 and my mental health could get worse, but when I'm off meds I don't cycle. 

I have plenty of depression, but not anymore than I've had since adolescence, i can be very sensitive, but i don't have out of no where mood swings. 

The only manic, mixed, or suicidal episodes. I've had are the result of medication. 

Zoloft at 15- hypo
every time i've been on stimulants- hypo or mixed
medrol in the hospital- full on psychotic episode
lamictal-mixed ep
quitting wellbutrin- rage and suicidality

I have mitochondrial dysfunction (mthfr) so i'm sensitive in general. I haven't taken any meds for 3 months and I feel totally stable, my psychiatric issues are more inline with autism spectrum.

I've never had any kind of episode that came independently of a medication change. Can anyone else relate to this?",4.92213445378151,7.0805431294117644,6.151596638655466,72.58647058823531,70.6470588235294,9.563025210084033,29.789915966386555,9.957137785484203,3.3354033613445395,732,30,124,20,14,245,109,170,0.15,0.831,0.019,-0.9746,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,1,4,4,1,0,5,0,17,6,0,3,2,22,26,12,2,1,6,0,1,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,3,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,6,1,11,1,19,18,3,14,0,1,0,0,0,9,0,3,4,74,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21194234084454733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15454356798706606,0.10896142627231777,0.15966839989474466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17823040608840107,0.0,0.0,0.16484969719709153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441925016424076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421795775550285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017772202929925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13129526363740454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879339103293878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141583952761211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656422332490223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16264822397230982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16227515008784166,0.08564124575750053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3461886623274137,0.31396888894674746,0.15704210278999708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243836939831012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018732080330258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3555519980181826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16574661808760724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186368947121186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12890592187757458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409100455094867,0.0,0.0,0.16196921697660716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035279216564744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086694957402047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12857780099482768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588062210783885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,eam2265,2018/01/30,"Just got fired, my ex moved out of our home.. I'm legit all alone. I live 2500 miles away from where I grew up. My parents are low income so they can't help me. My ex just moved back to our home city, so now I am totally on my own. I've been searching for a job high and low but nothing so far. Rent is due in a few days as well as my car insurance, and I have no idea what to do. Does anyone know of any resources I can utilize until I can get my feet under me? I am seriously so lost. And sad. My bipolar disorder has once again started setting my life on fire.

",0.463460410557186,1.8694875161290376,2.6999120234604104,95.783504398827,81.09677419354837,5.799413489736072,20.950146627565985,6.574015621080383,0.06746129032258086,428,12,107,4,11,146,90,124,0.218,0.7609999999999999,0.02,-0.9721,4,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,2,0,1,1,11,6,0,0,2,0,11,3,1,0,2,11,17,11,0,0,3,3,2,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,1,4,2,5,1,0,3,2,20,1,16,14,4,25,0,4,0,0,7,13,0,0,7,70,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006500787073871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174581714765854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354633725816016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18201954456056507,0.14896954826338552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249424537373862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22203603887254747,0.0,0.16953799808769746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121806020058263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549468409247714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985586941755212,0.20469069120721275,0.3886621547054411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21870219380285852,0.0,0.0,0.19225117975310688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064711832369632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684010939821847,0.0,0.0,0.17107074113377774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21148363274922116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4118173322624637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18589307384175652,0.0,0.0,0.2063204713433777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215118767851916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13712597826316866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741902035525319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,brightlights1,2018/01/31,Paranoia---Help Please! So do you know if you are paranoid? I feel like I am having some serious paranoia but I'm not sure if I'm just super anxious or if I am actually paranoid. ,0.8893243243243241,3.0897411081081114,3.644527027027028,85.4084121621622,83.86486486486487,5.8621621621621625,28.16891891891892,7.1686216300943375,1.6967351351351354,139,7,28,2,4,49,26,37,0.279,0.516,0.205,0.1152,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,2,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,11,9,6,0,3,7,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,9,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,1,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.3958335476089734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4582431779010331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050972548905177,0.2897800889175225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27188330203589983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22292205196403808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19816891726120606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4452567599907937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3822987514157008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CaseyCPA,2018/01/31,"Is this normal? I feel like I have a burning sensation in my chest and my head. I feel like I drank 3 cups of coffee, but also drank some wine.

I am energetic, but sad. I am restless and I want to cry. I want to yell, hurt and tear into everyone and my impulses seem to be more in control than my logic. I can't focus, am floating. Impulsive, Anxious, Agitated, afraid, sad, paranoid, I am feeling everything at once.

Most of all I want to find a hole and hide until it passes.

No meds, don't drink coffee, don't drink alcohol. I have a hard time coping when this happens and it happens to varying degrees often.

This is the worst one this year due to stress.

I hate feeling like this.

EDIT: FYI, not self diagnosing. I don't know how to cope with this. I didn't catch it in time, yelled/tore into my wife and now I feel even more depressed. ",1.6795394736842084,3.6091808830409375,3.6213998538011687,88.13455592105267,79.35087719298245,6.3802631578947375,23.55299707602339,7.413659706084162,0.9983242690058484,645,22,136,9,16,218,101,171,0.277,0.612,0.111,-0.9904,0,0,4,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,1,6,12,1,3,4,0,14,9,2,2,1,32,29,13,0,4,3,1,6,3,0,0,2,1,0,1,9,10,6,1,9,3,0,2,7,9,0,1,3,7,21,3,18,25,6,15,0,4,0,0,2,6,0,4,10,90,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15657465441588134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11716400974571277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655146197348558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16432344498712825,0.0,0.0,0.16093437695585666,0.0,0.0,0.1261888652027741,0.14870458588765234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28704808453230163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676848618036944,0.0,0.0,0.13999660228178049,0.13167375860060654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3703993402297665,0.3140003618402476,0.0,0.0,0.133907503666407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591166529603192,0.0,0.1312442000657003,0.14464831229714648,0.15036154825667428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15684200617972865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051807520702503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21473218521656035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16273960346178654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435487121905829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560283893098281,0.09927898099363272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13337721931711485,0.15284190309627665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16782673245213794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17086234126838706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592462165206935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434764910610784
bipolarreddit,NachoLlama,2018/01/31,"Just got denied life insurance. What to do? I just got denied life insurance, I was reluctant to have my doc notes turned over because I feel  like it is a violation of privacy, but I knew I would be denied if I did not. I understand why they need that information because they are basically bookies trying to set the odds on if you are going to be alive in 20 years. Well it is another tough pill to swallow, that this is jus the way it is.  This is also the first time my bp has been cited to outright deny something. I get it I understand, how ever I have a family I am concerned about if an accident or something happens. I am sure I am not the first to go through this and this is the only place I think I can find good answers.",2.718,4.175647400000003,4.782333333333336,83.03950000000003,75.0,8.200000000000001,27.166666666666664,8.841846274778883,2.0928666666666667,570,22,118,12,12,197,93,150,0.131,0.774,0.094,-0.5789,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,2,2,7,6,1,0,8,0,22,4,0,1,2,23,35,8,0,5,9,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,11,1,1,0,8,0,0,2,2,2,1,2,6,1,20,4,13,26,0,13,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,4,6,90,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13995041468845934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835066632505044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21336129139415952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15830088732111702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164977935857475,0.0,0.08848714102221887,0.12502269524359902,0.0,0.0,0.15995023308508602,0.29771615611165025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143222266840233,0.0,0.19891729838550407,0.14678482052034938,0.2799329296199585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475521498959804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24722061117694535,0.08549797966468775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12976304372680192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309821791277868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18284164371756612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694528329651817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16493893858890118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11213531986453792,0.0,0.0,0.10204607868512634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11881604090787284,0.19035379790013146,0.0,0.3643700966082107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13890981019235926,0.0,0.0,0.1573493647903138,0.0,0.15791364063330154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431762427890755,0.0,0.0,0.11269666039885767
bipolarreddit,TweakingTweaker,2018/01/31,"Horrible day.. quit my job on the first day. Hey how’s it going?

Some stuff happened today and I really need an outlet right now or someone to talk to without judgement... 

My situation is as follows, I’m a guy 18 years old have been struggling with bipolar for years where the hospital seems to be my second home.. recently out of an abusive relationship where I impulsively chose to pick up and leave my home, my family and my everything all of a sudden to move in with my ex 1000 kilometres away with her parents... that’s the extent of how my mania gets along with episodes of psychosis.


Recently I’ve been looking for work and I found what I thought would be a great job at a health food store, I aced the interview and trial then came the first day...

I went in full of smiles and just my best to be positive as I’ve been in a big low lately then all of a sudden I get there and I’m handed the most ridiculous jobs  and well all they would do is put me down and make me feel like I’m absolute f*ckin trash. Now I don’t know if it’s because of my arm which they all saw (covered in scars) or if it was because I chose to not go to college (year 11 and 12) when they’re all university graduates or students.. I don’t know but they were horrible and I was pretty much in tears for my whole lunch break.. I’m a fragile bloke when I’m going threw a low is all I can say.. 

Anyways I got home having a huge anxiety attack so stressed I could feel my impulsiveness and psychotic symptoms coming out.. so I sat down, chain smoked till I couldn’t breathe and sent my boss an email full of excuses trying to make myself sound normal about quitting after 1 day..  I had to quit I really did if I had thrown myself into that job it would of sent me right back to my lowest low..  the thing is while I got the job I was experiencing a manic episode where I talked myself up Beyond imagninable and asked for 40+ hours a week knowing I couldn’t handle it but that’s just the kind of stuff I do...


So that’s my little rant of today’s horrible events :/ if you were able to actually read it all then well thank you and send me a message if you wanna chat.. I feel extremely guilty right now but any support I can get would really help..

Thanks ",4.996923575654433,4.876928457330418,5.857938244590327,83.21098387227491,68.58424507658643,9.221136234702977,28.523300105357,8.94667605116694,1.9614918388848377,1743,53,375,28,27,575,230,457,0.108,0.818,0.07400000000000001,-0.9333,7,0,1,0,0,0,48.0,0,3,3,8,22,16,2,2,24,0,33,8,3,6,7,74,73,40,0,15,15,2,5,1,0,4,3,2,3,1,15,25,2,0,9,2,1,13,6,7,2,3,22,10,55,9,55,41,15,76,0,3,2,0,25,30,0,11,33,250,70,12,0.07786140846691568,0.09225303704156236,0.0759815030205095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0529484277389669,0.0,0.05956376436114375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727899063990233,0.08857859256900186,0.07315335629550218,0.059870617013138276,0.0,0.09492718383593284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171074451886462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905270877026099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707070907397937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06216599902036265,0.0,0.0,0.2008566685902037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06997681339746356,0.0,0.07340080641471015,0.0,0.11810720278330045,0.05562420576620959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13245774853287906,0.09415032418040276,0.08537101554454271,0.0,0.0,0.1220381169385202,0.0,0.1327512982458313,0.0,0.12454576225203925,0.08584247770969314,0.0,0.07709503573544754,0.06885258636604323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276303623672654,0.0,0.0,0.052188860847322764,0.0,0.2343040233705586,0.0,0.0766778033535449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3863271684549808,0.0,0.0,0.08108067528194564,0.12837178152501616,0.0,0.08783106015491916,0.08244398926659062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03803915124527986,0.07803758620979034,0.0,0.0,0.06538397321539427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394618951082307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275435505673172,0.05723709407166368,0.05773324779989361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628764875524978,0.0,0.0,0.08170245048734781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08645587982605034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921304409247545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07827222097457158,0.0,0.2484455761643231,0.07788247886982856,0.0,0.14964003605764686,0.0,0.15375749518154413,0.08359401387478509,0.0,0.19947965220971367,0.0,0.0619185171409956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708821019982893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0875194853819452,0.0,0.0,0.06597171872419699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918998033261277,0.08139764965384676,0.17826536903170315,0.0,0.0883562036288208,0.0,0.08092781599796671,0.0,0.12516410157594693,0.0,0.14336864781239464,0.0,0.0,0.051727660050842436,0.0,0.0,0.06181326111900828,0.0,0.0,0.1476070222622133,0.0,0.0,0.052862785391952806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06245572534440074,0.0,0.14001351398200482,0.07217830570890217,0.0,0.08692948196211282,0.0,0.07505561927126612,0.0,0.056684032688813835,0.0,0.0,0.22124204248781235,0.0,0.0,0.15042058279842552
bipolarreddit,painfulawakening,2018/02/01,"How can I tell if it's just anxiety, or hypomania/mania? I already have tons of anxiety about facing things in my everyday life.  But I feel this agitation, this growing desperation, and neediness that I can't shake. It's sort of eating me alive, and it feels like anxiety, but I don't even know why I'm anxious, and it doesn't go away.  It just builds in me, and I keep trying to distract myself.  It's not as if it's triggered by something specific, it's just there constantly in the background.  I also have zero appetite and don't feel tired unless I take a lot of sedative supplements, but that isn't so abnormal because my eating and sleeping can be all over the place at the best of times.  Anyway, it just feels bad and I want it to go away, and it won't.",5.32220788530466,5.12813488387097,6.5808602150537645,78.55573476702509,67.90322580645162,9.985663082437275,32.060931899641574,9.725611199111238,2.853394265232975,597,23,122,12,9,203,92,155,0.117,0.773,0.11,-0.0308,0,0,1,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,1,11,5,0,2,4,0,11,6,2,2,1,32,22,19,0,3,12,0,4,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,16,8,2,1,5,0,0,4,7,3,0,1,0,4,14,2,17,20,4,15,0,0,0,0,1,8,0,5,4,92,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837181042586315,0.13313637603478987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3820770636609046,0.18807837577512876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31283247312196033,0.0,0.13900633124985826,0.10148647714104857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17471361249111098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17990895326850873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3407072946439465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099604357378052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3367151803759275,0.11893547156603974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892322241175955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479777188065092,0.0,0.0,0.09149468989347416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175918496793084,0.08133517286241629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14153787300130286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17393927618571275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16660320835989678,0.0,0.0,0.12816672881302332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12517447914970922,0.0,0.14551345936011542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106038918921894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707756232764543,0.1913476906738852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303101270896045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819597287371082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502249913812624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Swepino,2018/02/01,"Depression, Bipolar 2,Crohns, ADHD, half deaf and autism i dont know.... Iknow that you are not supposed to ”be” your diagnoses and that they are part of you in some way. I have gotten all of these diagnoses one after another , i barely made it in to university and after 2 years with only 3 years left of my teachers edc i got worse and i cant work But i have to otherwise i will starve and freeze to death. I have No Idea How to get help... i have been to the hospital and all of that but the other thing triggers the other and i really dont know.... the doctors says that i dont seem to sick and that i have a very broad understanding of my situation But i feel like giving up.  Im so lonley you guys and Im happy that we are ”lonley ” togheter ... i should feel more greatful about the free healthcare here tho so i dont know... so many thoughts and energy But Im hungry But i had to puke and my stomache hurts.. feels like that my body gave up and that my sane/insane side is having the worst fight in my head aswell .... 

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bipolarreddit,liljenn728,2018/02/01,"Employer prying I have told my new job that I have a chronic health condition, but it is under control with medication and specialists. The manager/owner is REALLY pushing trying to find out what it is. I know legally I do not have to disclose, but this is starting to get uncomfortable. How can I politely and professionally get this to stop? Note there isn’t really an option for HR to step in.",5.9148,7.00048288,7.566666666666666,67.53000000000002,66.86666666666667,11.333333333333336,33.66666666666667,11.20814326018867,4.2796666666666665,316,14,54,10,5,110,55,75,0.086,0.8909999999999999,0.022,-0.6808,2,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,10,3,0,2,0,13,15,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,4,0,2,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,6,0,10,14,0,8,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,3,42,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3269910118995745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664656289810275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30463906494601883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30989728378001097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28931210259657963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16022477431758764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2936995715632181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28157468936314195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3735406757058968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20635610737410345,0.0,0.0,0.2437435592517182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27858246670891984,0.0,0.19793901179693804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,candylush,2018/02/01,"Weird behavior I've been sleeping at weird hours, have not left the apartment or done any work in days and days, and am obsessively fantasizing about having someone come save me. I think the way it's manifesting must also have something to do with my daddy issues.

It's all just a bit of a mess really.",7.722316384180792,6.812112983050853,8.080000000000002,72.16146892655367,63.23728813559321,11.256497175141243,33.22598870056497,10.504223727775694,3.262249717514125,242,8,46,5,3,80,50,59,0.125,0.821,0.055,-0.2732,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,1,4,0,8,1,1,0,2,11,10,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,0,3,1,6,7,2,9,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,3,30,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21944972327801296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18661173502772774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29959030771360184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363843823944953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3539501833963101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808220078631302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27024367923562304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28641815650147445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29815290004059186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17579739349388576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746133630845917,0.0,0.2325110946556662,0.2112582151411155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17583416932878548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21781799986212047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19977752201777416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,confessi0ns,2018/02/01,"WarningIs this a Manic Episode? [Please HELP] [x-post /r/bipolar] I've been diagnosed with bipolar by three different psychiatrists. I kept asking for different opinions because I thought I was ""simply"" afflicted with major depression (on and off, for about a decade!).

I've finally accepted the diagnosis and started the treatment, but the pills that the doctor prescribed are exclusively to treat symptoms of depression in patients with bipolar disease (Lamictal). 

For the past 5 days, however, I've been experiencing something **very** different:

* Some of my thoughts seem foreign to me, in the sense that I **know** they don't make sense, but I am still drawn to/consumed by them.

* I do and say things that are completely outrageous. Even though I am perfectly aware that they are outrageous, I somehow can't stop myself.

* It's very easy to trigger my irritability. I am screaming loudly and aggressively, and using profanity at the slightest of provocations.

* I am vicariously living some fantasies. When I say vicariously, I mean that I am having extreme reactions of nostalgia over things that never happened (fake memories). It's strange in the sense that I **know** they are fake but, at the same time, I believe them?

My head is a big mess. I don't have any answers. When I'm depressed, none of this happens. 

Right now, I feel like I have more than one person inside my head. There is the rational side, the side that is aware that something is off, the side that is writing this. And then there is the unbalanced side, the side that is causing all this havoc.

The only thing that seems to help is to go clubbing, or to a place with a lot of noise. It somehow makes my thoughts more clear and leaves me more relaxed (even without the help of alcohol).

Has anyone experienced any of these things? I am scared, but I end up driving away everyone that tries to offer their help. ",3.1302675447622974,6.185761911504429,3.809724909103384,81.7905453797078,83.2772861356932,7.0472936818275365,29.122658983329906,8.133680483312611,2.612096192632229,1484,72,256,33,43,469,181,339,0.14300000000000002,0.7490000000000001,0.109,-0.928,4,0,3,0,0,0,76.0,0,0,6,1,12,16,3,1,21,0,29,9,2,6,4,48,48,16,0,0,6,0,1,1,0,0,7,4,0,1,25,11,1,2,11,3,0,2,6,11,0,2,7,7,34,5,38,41,10,34,0,3,0,0,16,19,0,9,14,183,59,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104560134518085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14057109830822356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226884115413547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966238047587316,0.0,0.09710626054929747,0.0,0.0,0.06300479098694425,0.0,0.0,0.11644669428513145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061749693117742,0.0,0.0,0.1083666838200362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665599837414242,0.0,0.2670608287970579,0.10490405232206038,0.0,0.3239547193643371,0.0,0.10578913257209993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09154264053440916,0.0,0.0,0.13653118061956113,0.0,0.0,0.09876098173444456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05225984327998656,0.07383746818344397,0.0,0.11322132506346695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058739533898459415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827945436746855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21214592181388695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771090966073829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11360338787091452,0.0,0.0,0.10943896367660262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05049446695209793,0.0,0.0912651440866042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786948129837913,0.0,0.0,0.13798171776248708,0.0,0.0,0.112584863594323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07971443374986062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003662566603923,0.0786068114373902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866489158817762,0.0,0.09024637617831692,0.10798490645477904,0.11345372959230805,0.0,0.0,0.09898637203238443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882653649934706,0.0,0.16438550362697027,0.10347727607273376,0.0,0.0,0.1881826402365893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15913682665567136,0.0,0.0,0.07315583063042917,0.0,0.08254014694672891,0.0864101516779939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742634356022493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2746602419285818,0.0,0.10154663676785224,0.2461590941382372,0.06026765039321137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017186458125896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892663038330229,0.0,0.17055886645279664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963138931320048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,adltchickadee,2018/02/01,"Happiness I feel like there's been a lot of posts on here lately about people fearing that happiness or stability will turn into hypomania. This made me think about how much it sucks that people with bipolar have to approach happiness in ways that others don't.

For the first time in years, a bunch of positive stuff is coming together for me: I'm (for the moment) financially secure, my job is challenging but not overwhelming, I have the chance to work on a really cool project, the weather is nice (where I am), I've been running again and signed up for a race, and after careful tapering, I'm down to my lowest daily dose of Klonopin in 9 years. 

For someone without bipolar, it would be obvious that this combination of things would make someone happy, and you wouldn't question that this is a great thing! But since I have bipolar, I'm already like: am I happy or am I *too* happy?

It just seems kinda unfair that we can't just be happy when nice stuff happens to us. People with unipolar depression who begin to feel less depressed have nothing to fear (unless their SSRIs make them manic and turn into one of us, mwahahaha). People who have anxiety and become less anxious--great! People with bipolar who finally reach a balance...nope! Better be on the watch for hypomania!

It just seems like we're not allowed to enjoy being happy....",6.379646414342628,7.2381003187251025,6.7942604581673285,74.29226718127492,65.73306772908367,9.30288844621514,32.02216135458167,9.354420925462401,2.9732488047808765,1064,41,181,19,16,346,141,251,0.08800000000000001,0.67,0.242,0.9924,3,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,3,1,2,4,12,26,1,3,11,1,24,5,0,5,1,41,42,12,0,3,11,0,2,3,0,4,5,0,0,0,21,12,0,1,6,0,0,3,6,6,0,2,3,4,16,20,36,31,5,27,0,3,1,0,10,11,1,7,14,136,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957833098341657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06209844480288961,0.09170433727255453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965110959953354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179245040018828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276304529850685,0.0,0.0,0.0699248405468173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13983134871268596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826882740352108,0.08208876309869323,0.057991241966078,0.0,0.0889229468318592,0.0,0.06904718224415858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17899084857961453,0.0,0.0,0.07178254396522203,0.6912960599072472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08055339216205844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156862900638862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11897361555080307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901185098530546,0.0,0.07680949044038593,0.10836952266266407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059672765229151076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07788934089567535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05500609657140967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28138167802641306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774295074165792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093427316864937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052002609411358126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14779684748484348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714857391150543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375581673752911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858512855561468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10785776476361696,0.05201348806740677,0.0,0.0,0.047333636738419116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17658958850119025,0.0,0.0,0.1952864062202204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443272078426501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07824954115062448,0.0,0.05909616883495283,0.0,0.0,0.11532839563503505,0.0,0.0,0.10454772694229976
bipolarreddit,Flerbi,2018/02/01,"What normally happens in your mania? Hi,
I was just wondering what mania feels like to you and what you do in the episode. No other reason except interest.

Thanks",2.5730000000000004,5.5375846333333385,3.855,80.7825,86.0,7.0,24.16666666666667,8.07648339933343,2.186666666666667,129,5,21,3,4,42,25,30,0.062,0.7020000000000001,0.236,0.7351,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,7,6,1,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,4,3,4,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,1,18,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094559506185444,0.29593845137979063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.366317639991152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20238037300962727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4058745346751306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4259153574971841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3813833835969024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4492336742316632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,XanaxManic,2018/02/01,"Anyone else have detrimental avoidance issues? For example: My gas got turned off. I've been avoiding opening bills because I can't pay them. I didn't realize it had been long enough that it was going to be shut off. If I had I might have been able to prevent it.  
  
I find there is a pattern of extreme avoidance in my life. Especially when I'm depressed which is the majority of the time. I have countless examples of things that have been blown out of proportion by my avoidance. I know stuff doesn't just go away but I can't seem to handle anything anymore. Then it snowballs until something like this happens.",3.4521956856702616,5.807560906779663,4.093636363636364,84.81969953775041,75.52542372881356,6.6637904468412925,30.21879815100154,7.686295010490155,2.1004644067796607,489,23,90,7,11,155,82,118,0.087,0.8640000000000001,0.05,-0.4738,0,4,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,1,0,3,6,0,4,3,0,19,1,0,0,0,15,27,5,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,10,2,0,5,4,0,2,2,4,5,0,0,9,0,12,1,15,16,2,14,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,3,6,66,22,1,0.2222548029482532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204170428775747,0.15540572590298402,0.22772631047795575,0.1828967654899066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20881570355060716,0.0,0.0,0.13548446498275646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19142773610617744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185665368749856,0.0,0.0,0.2296486238993229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20313686340945414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526250527588723,0.0,0.17775746928036207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19653918823938168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23197627066735224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221454272351194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15698514017775286,0.10858247019678374,0.0,0.0,0.1966885066584292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23577722329282624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023324252974669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17110260569680352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254428575380023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476562152925775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12959856292490612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417494035344128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,asunnysnowman,2018/02/01,Recently Diagnosed I recently diagnosed with BipolarII & PTSD.. The PTSD I know when/how it got to that point.. but the Bipolar.. have I always been that way and never noticed? Thinking back I can't really pinpoint when I started acting this way because it seems like it was always normal?,4.487358490566038,7.14615886792453,5.24211320754717,76.35901886792455,73.52830188679245,8.013584905660379,31.35471698113208,8.841846274778883,3.19354641509434,232,11,36,5,5,75,39,53,0.0,0.926,0.07400000000000001,0.5588,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,4,3,0,0,1,8,9,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,0,5,1,2,6,0,10,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,7,24,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145621539603003,0.20480477719714316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.145345909132481,0.0,0.11522578623995205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3837058013912388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511778059607106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10388130396036747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09234638452381197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578507696983856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18520099202381596,0.0,0.21520229458831555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17868646779872302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4419121680197019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109204909114317,0.0,0.3732719660829693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17207812563384464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379043038448776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111738087289795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000730262039508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lolumadbr0,2018/02/01,"Always worried now I recently decided to take a class in college and I am always worried that even though I am studying and retaining well, I am worried I will fail an upcoming exam....

I worry about money all the time. I worry about if someone likes me or not. The list goes on and on really...

I have always been a worrier and I want to get out of the habit of continuously worrying so much. On saphris, I tend to not worry but sometimes I do. It gets overwhelming at times...

 Does anyone have any suggestions on how to manage this constantly worried feeling?",3.200186915887848,5.502952429906544,5.125056074766351,77.37636915887852,76.10280373831776,8.392149532710281,29.39158878504673,9.120678840339163,2.9744138317757014,438,20,77,11,10,150,72,107,0.183,0.757,0.06,-0.8735,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,8,4,0,1,6,0,8,0,0,1,1,16,14,10,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,2,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,1,1,12,2,15,12,2,13,0,2,0,0,1,7,0,2,7,61,15,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710534574666761,0.0,0.0,0.07384130608387572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07592493313651981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173414639144702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09502318540868904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171915720553311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05490367692897384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11346202750574708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053048989936416886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07982223388262917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956212662510618,0.0,0.10721427197388554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200344718843644,0.0,0.10739302525074483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164216600291467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066838970116301,0.0,0.1266332005141854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06404605773182342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09763066802279666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8821841087965571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CaptMcnomnom,2018/02/01,"Mania I often see people (on here/other mental health subreddits) expressing happiness when they say they were manic or had a manic episode. 

But I hate it. My mania is the thing that makes me want to get a knife out and slide across my neck. I have no control over myself. I develop tremors and can't stop moving. I want to smash things. Get a hammer and put holes in my walls and through the windshield of my car. I can't even set down to write a whole email. I'll type a few words, then go and walk or spas out, then come back and do it all again. 

I've gotten manic while driving before or felt it come on, and one of the only things that helps at the time is to stick a knife in my leg. Not inside my leg, but just putting the tip on my flesh and putting just enough pressure to focus on the pain instead of mania.

I have an anxiety med that works to help (Klonopin) but taking my max dosage doesn't always help. my max is 4mg, but I've taken up to 20mg before. 

When I'm manic is the time when I cry the most. 




*Thank you for reading my rant. I apologize if it's a bit of a ramble in some parts. Hopefully, it's clear enough, though.*",2.4674166666666686,3.490604908333335,3.5733333333333337,93.19166666666668,74.91666666666666,6.5,21.25,6.691623216298621,0.17962500000000015,878,19,203,7,18,284,140,240,0.08800000000000001,0.8140000000000001,0.099,-0.1143,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,2,2,11,6,1,1,17,0,12,6,4,2,2,37,29,23,0,4,11,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,11,12,0,2,1,2,0,11,5,3,0,1,5,3,24,3,27,24,9,38,0,0,1,0,11,15,0,8,11,132,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993274124291737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106989135997636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159056973773246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22484533624175074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14423861345252265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276158786218631,0.0,0.0,0.1481815462722119,0.0,0.0,0.14512539478186984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730263767656253,0.0,0.0872626782730336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268539775106978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805238081738416,0.0,0.07508569141831377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14064204404430186,0.0,0.13043915056391342,0.0,0.14043523223868845,0.0,0.0,0.26566768668573865,0.0,0.0,0.1312229625346737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881897760645552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14675328942004048,0.0,0.13314384709731267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404205017069908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895265609671121,0.10048167554697364,0.14058284334164498,0.0,0.0,0.14307089510601587,0.0,0.09159397057072212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3984451766230899,0.0,0.0,0.1321537307563829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10506551873833064,0.0,0.0,0.10528092289870918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045654525484253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933627698676173,0.0,0.0,0.12163648330693914,0.0,0.0,0.2633199414636884,0.0,0.1298052423449435,0.0,0.15407811058746493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15585321267766006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14750500395877025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961834613233594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,J03J0,2018/02/01,"(Canada) How do you guys feel about #BellLetsTalk week this week? I hate it so much. 
Great idea, raising money every year but oh my god is it just an excuse for everyone to beg for attention about their struggles. The focus should be on awareness of mental health and illness. not on Jenny, a 17 year old girl with anxiety and depression who wants to one up everyone's amount of hospital stays and suicide attempts in a 2 paragraph long post that never talks about anyone else but herself. 
Plus no one ever raises awareness for anything except depression and anxiety and it drives me nuts!
Oh man, sorry I'm annoyed, what do you guys think? ",4.705714285714283,6.912231378151264,5.1148655462184855,79.58675210084036,71.3529411764706,7.785210084033612,28.70672268907564,8.548686976883017,2.3947640336134457,510,20,86,9,10,162,92,119,0.28,0.6729999999999999,0.047,-0.9883,0,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,2,1,1,7,6,2,1,4,0,5,2,0,1,2,21,10,10,1,2,5,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,7,7,0,0,4,0,1,1,3,5,0,2,0,1,7,1,17,8,2,15,0,2,0,0,11,4,0,0,8,57,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24412434541879055,0.0,0.0,0.11156733937061887,0.1634870170779542,0.13130343419868226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748558082401659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329104242669695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14433022020405595,0.13443531107403156,0.3049308606524335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067780771852014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175914323958315,0.0,0.3159769254985516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753144591292398,0.0,0.16960372017171266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18012265169615566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14120466440445256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16079790965345014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11729419953378452,0.0,0.12306171153262635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16743029472920926,0.0,0.216242570360044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528133838212433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17861319981271362,0.0,0.17006862838909914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166805675845903,0.0,0.17453161198144526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282474533589583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223894308229832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411201252516667,0.0,0.2559771571002976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205501486275738
bipolarreddit,Avocados66,2018/02/01,"Antipsychotics and stimulants? Hello, hi.  I was recently prescribed Modafinil to take with my current combo of meds (rexulti,trileptal, vybriid) and I’ve started to get frustrated at the lack of effects from the Modafinil which I assume is because of the rexulti (dopamine antagonist). Has anyone else felt like their stimulants don’t work because of atypical antipsychotic? and have been able to do something about it? I think I’m going to try and convince my psych to let me taper off the rexulti and increase the trileptal. Does anyone know if trileptal is also a dopamine antagonist? I’m so frustrated!! Maybe rexulti is the reason I can’t study in the first place. Gimme back my dopamine ",5.735126676602086,8.520970426229514,5.758405365126678,73.53182563338305,70.14754098360656,9.354396423248883,37.320417287630406,9.800150414767053,4.455383606557376,560,32,86,15,11,176,79,122,0.109,0.836,0.055,-0.8291,1,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,3,4,4,2,0,8,0,11,0,0,4,0,16,20,8,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,3,1,9,2,15,16,2,11,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,2,6,56,11,2,0.22117990789185785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17687749243101894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3093082685739949,0.2266249534674578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17007369654790405,0.0,0.2696584378663861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19355602790126164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18476743185775876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123673972175384,0.0,0.0,0.188135516663006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555737300945045,0.0,0.1257016387479204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12155469302305877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22617144121666105,0.0,0.10805733076727547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22220494607757524,0.0,0.24568101622684915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23108592800329694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274097827744702,0.2183884757003027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702750989677693,0.0,0.0,0.15655227721259532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16629976455551027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417231541238532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501666388281087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610216071852617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TrebleIrony,2018/02/01,"Lamictal SJS do i go to the hospital Took meds includes seroquel
200mg lamictal
Throat is red and slightly swollen yellow toung and rash/chafing on my arm
What do i do? Do i go to the hospital?",1.0684615384615377,3.623828153846155,3.185333333333337,86.11800000000002,87.97435897435898,7.222564102564102,30.87692307692308,8.238735603445708,2.8914676923076925,154,9,30,4,5,52,28,39,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,5,3,2,0,0,2,8,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,3,7,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,17,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5861658694101403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5728239818852812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5729592126109374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,colorvdope_,2018/02/01,"Anyone else have trouble consistently taking their meds? Just last year, while in jail actually, after coming down from a manic episode and then spiraling further into the latter, I was finally confronted again with my type 1 bipolar diagnosis. I was lit back on my meds, (depakote ER, trazadone, gabapentin and prasosin) and stayed on them until being transferred to a rehab facility (as a result of trauma, undiagnosed/misdiagnosed bipolar I developed a really shitty and extreme addiction issues) where they were ""hostilic"" and took me off my meds. One manic episode in and they made a exception for that rule quickly....lol. after that, and making a ""timeline"" of my relapses, and it being made clear as day that taking my meds, for me, is a matter of life and death because of my addiction, I stayed on them, and stable for a few months. I had a slip where I stopped taking my meds, went manic after a week, relapsed, but was able to catch myself before everything went to shit...but again a few months later the same thing happened, I wasn't so lucky, and have been stuck in another relapse for a few months and self medicating.
I now find myself very aware I need my meds. J talked to my therapist today who essentially told me that I need to accept my diagnosis, and that I need to take my meds if I want to succeed, based on all the past times I've tried anything otherwise. I've had intentions of calling my psych doctor, I plan to, but I'll pick up the phone and put it down. Or procrastinate it. When manic I'll say that it will keep me from fulfilling my purpose or ""take away"" my ability to ""feel fully"" and ""see the future"". I KNOW I need to. I plan on calling first thing tomorrow for the first possible appointment. I want to get better. But I won't stop fucking myself over.

Does anyone else have this issue? Or can relate? I'm just now starting to realize I'm not crazy, or alone, and it's in fact my bipolar that's effecting my life like this. And I would appreciate anyone who has similar issue's input on this. 

This is my first post here.. sorry for the wall of text and I hope it meets all the community guidelines. Thank you for reading if you've gotten this far.",4.689259689022975,6.209983738609111,5.700733348804826,78.14995822696683,70.12709832134293,8.737959309971378,28.559526572290554,9.19923166143015,2.4954046414481317,1717,63,314,35,31,567,217,417,0.048,0.846,0.107,0.9748,0,1,0,0,0,0,69.0,0,1,5,8,12,12,3,0,20,0,20,11,0,7,4,64,53,34,1,10,13,0,1,1,0,3,10,1,0,1,22,21,0,3,6,1,0,6,3,5,1,4,16,4,50,7,52,32,6,63,0,0,2,1,16,22,1,8,33,216,72,7,0.07334025103797348,0.0,0.07156950555466174,0.15990339811806098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595838181289896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690364786760354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538436263145726,0.15029150827659118,0.0603527776098777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06890558006360935,0.05639412602467485,0.0,0.04470753631314936,0.0,0.06240715186858594,0.0,0.0,0.0648634921108041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497771924828273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06317613227958332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04729839463190525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506685462989289,0.0641805479145608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253273785352295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06591348862624426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03708303455277933,0.0,0.0,0.08034066016895039,0.0670316607780331,0.18714954020104693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780188029554572,0.0383172541601091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485454178298138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284341751026732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22964450306467785,0.0,0.06518818490353462,0.0,0.0,0.04030588395720691,0.059782093188859776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360477647404057,0.03583034209798156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387926376504288,0.04895518706422984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5702513986896997,0.07388258713502233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17561846601510475,0.0,0.0,0.21752346741484302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049697252163946236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07001156823812729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268011347010522,0.07023968737650077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07372720900642361,0.0,0.0,0.07336009795147698,0.0,0.04698364279938284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058323111287529074,0.0,0.0,0.05844268468295335,0.0,0.0765098767470252,0.0,0.07528271376275296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820984065822213,0.051910607164878116,0.15634189875114854,0.0,0.12263146765360045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27571370736848905,0.058948115704989326,0.0,0.0675218495822848,0.0,0.08515368415444212,0.09744800790105763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04276529016691795,0.0,0.06951798253353186,0.07007975279419472,0.08148371744098871,0.04979321627426907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06051338791877028,0.08651596048515862,0.0,0.05882912556691543,0.0,0.0,0.13597429495346952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052098810102776304,0.0,0.0,0.04722871711387204
bipolarreddit,realloveishealthy,2018/02/01,"how important is it to take your meds at the same times? if you take your meds a few hours off everyday how much can that mess with your moods? 

1200mg lithium daily:
300mgx2 taken between 6-10am 
300mgx2 taken between 5-9pm 


",3.0170454545454533,5.162480250000005,3.1818181818181834,91.8427272727273,76.04545454545455,6.218181818181819,26.90909090909091,7.1686216300943375,1.2317000000000005,177,7,36,2,4,54,36,44,0.067,0.8909999999999999,0.042,-0.264,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,4,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,0,5,6,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,0,6,4,3,5,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,3,22,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32741627725863176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7385991127896894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24440392711354106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4999525825976733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938661072435773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,double-bi,2018/02/02,"When do you guys go to the hospital? I know I'm not actually a danger to myself, but I'm so numb and painfully bored and have less than zero motivation, I don't want to do anything at all so I'm laying in bed wanting to die. 

The hospital obviously seems excessive but I'm just so tired of feeling this way and I was wondering at what point have you guys checked yourself in?",1.3792307692307697,3.553266602564104,3.945833333333337,84.13875,81.69230769230771,7.489743589743591,26.41666666666667,8.472884824447931,2.05417435897436,297,13,62,7,8,104,52,78,0.264,0.6609999999999999,0.07400000000000001,-0.9649,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,1,5,4,1,0,3,0,6,3,0,1,2,16,17,9,1,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,2,3,0,0,5,0,1,1,2,4,0,1,1,1,6,0,10,16,2,8,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,2,1,41,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.252959663373247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21331457007447052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690276650700258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310685586637889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14731973081905925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.513333732872411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424595958678117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758265422833636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450450756698682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359826003420271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979332977179148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3057873331823425,0.20575541706790326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28111118357297765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,foureyessenil,2018/02/02,"Can just Lithium be enough to handle bipolar disorder? Seen many people using multiple meds, now I havent actually heard of someone using ONLY Lithium. Why? Are here people who use only one single med?",4.2650000000000015,7.371049944444448,5.94777777777778,68.45000000000002,77.33333333333334,6.933333333333335,28.44444444444445,8.07648339933343,2.8567444444444448,162,7,21,3,4,55,32,36,0.08900000000000001,0.911,0.0,-0.5007,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,3,0,4,9,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,2,6,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,14,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.206938558580386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430374744121079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2191131727789803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21499408952835014,0.0,0.0,0.4710984959256214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369636409403874,0.3225601716004965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.294029400923468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17967652437950468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5494515123308867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19134986110075666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MSteve1232000,2018/02/02,"Lithium day 3, placebo? Day 3 of Lithium. I’m at 300mg twice daily. Feeling very good. I don’t feel like I have little “mood threads” hanging off me that can get snagged on stuff and unravel my mind.

Could I be feeling it this soon? I also discontinued Lexapro yesterday, I could also be feeling good now that I’m off the Lex, I suppose.",0.967352941176472,3.3730595588235315,2.8220588235294137,89.96926470588238,85.76470588235293,5.1647058823529415,29.088235294117645,6.6274283507984215,1.5214941176470589,262,14,53,3,8,87,49,68,0.0,0.7879999999999999,0.212,0.8944,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,0,0,8,14,3,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,4,8,3,5,10,0,11,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,6,32,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3697245653153544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3691323171269893,0.0,0.0,0.2981641438064238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4675351598388105,0.16514406819155142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077398576182767,0.0,0.0,0.3877798724826052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293536870625068,0.2316877028806497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334103932725992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646282122507848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907350412000583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lalalalca,2018/02/02,"contemplation I'm sitting here in my trailer (I'm living at a ski resort at the moment for my job). It should be my dream job but I feel so empty and alone.. even when I'm with people. I have been manic for the past 6 months and it was beautiful (except for the intermittent psychosis ofc). But fuck I want to be psychotic.. it's certainly better than this. I've just taken an oxycodone, adderall.. drinking a beer.. I cut again night before last and i've even found my non dull razors.. I feel nothing and yet everything at the same time.. I feel so fucking dramatic right now but I figured if anyone could understand it would be other people like me. Idk why I think being psychotic would be better than this but I guess it's because im confident. My hallucinations and delusions ARE real... I don;t feel real right now. I feel like a bag of bones (hence why I want to cut into it). idk what to fucking do but is anyone else struggling to keep their grip on reality.. but secretly just wants to fall head-first into it. I hate my illness, but the symptoms and coping skills (albeit harmful and self destructive) i've come to know and love over the years of having this illness, just seem so appealing and comforting to me rn. thanks for your time. ",2.366913580246912,4.795625740740744,3.7884543209876536,85.21364444444445,79.65843621399176,6.521744855967079,23.30024691358025,7.699297019823105,1.2826531358024689,977,33,186,16,25,321,141,243,0.131,0.7040000000000001,0.165,0.8819,2,1,2,0,0,0,41.0,0,1,1,3,14,18,7,1,10,0,16,10,1,0,1,50,42,21,0,8,12,0,6,2,0,3,3,0,0,1,12,13,2,1,12,4,0,2,0,10,0,0,4,6,23,8,25,29,1,26,0,1,0,4,5,10,3,3,15,118,35,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12117784719980612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16361976999572822,0.1198814468574979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07132278064294685,0.0,0.09955931304506002,0.0,0.0,0.2069559184451739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078608207988513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341585270752814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146165288649436,0.0,0.0,0.09773940038087166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15455623760849174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10515303857882896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29579634185800485,0.08358560458631811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995210703753446,0.0,0.12828565999540778,0.0,0.32449687687730444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12888989532866155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551435703662125,0.12007687676452256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263812584865827,0.0,0.23221106350103576,0.10399594779323997,0.0,0.0,0.06430074115388966,0.09537150714411384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11432164867758347,0.0,0.10331410913472676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559805492657848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338915658955772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979760039406708,0.0,0.11226570476630136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169078271145967,0.16222765286598384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2663457184425953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19983658916044816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651340128392826,0.1220576575283572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12231494660468772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160893508253147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077188873175934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496957642846408,0.0,0.0,0.13644855705501965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12180226461615873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070308290500212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21115057708591295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16622843981791766,0.0,0.0,0.07534486819327928
bipolarreddit,Floyd1692,2018/02/02,"Bipolar II and PTSD..No meds, Sometimes I feel i'm losing it.. Yeah so I was diagnosed with PTSD, Bipolar II and Social Anxiety 3 years ago along with some other anti-socialism diagnoses. anyways... I started getting therapy 3 years ago which is when I got mental health help for the first time in my life, I got put on meds and I had therapy once a week. Didnt get better, meds just kinda made everything worse they only took away my hallucinations and made me sleep. After being on crisis for like 2 years straight which includes several suicide attempts and going to the hospital several times while having a daughter and  being married..yeah it was shit. One time I decided to quit everything that includes therapy and all meds, I just started smoking a shit ton of weed and while its been working good for about a year and a half now but then  there's these times when i cant control my mood swings specially when im going through the bad days, I almost feel like im losing the battle..I dont even know why im doing this..I dont care if no one reads it somehow feels good...",3.756379023307435,5.484710825471701,4.858435072142065,82.44150388457271,72.82075471698113,7.81842397336293,28.50832408435072,8.4952907291091,2.1759314095449507,853,34,161,15,17,280,131,212,0.138,0.792,0.069,-0.9335,0,0,0,0,0,1,27.0,0,0,1,8,12,13,2,0,9,1,13,9,3,3,1,29,30,18,1,1,4,1,3,2,0,0,6,0,0,0,9,12,0,1,5,1,0,4,5,5,0,4,10,3,15,7,16,18,3,32,0,2,0,0,4,5,2,5,25,95,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15351903401077374,0.0,0.08671043451762774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06624344874232116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135702402400685,0.0,0.07230158249316278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658451871485847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828738894174247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712147240843197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05584535569996778,0.0,0.0,0.17578025261612826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20297282706161293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05719389501180835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15564850546852976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313521487029847,0.06186209456415685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365600688247494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048259268292072,0.0,0.09842565543155396,0.14526028942057298,0.13851275026529994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204436636115232,0.0,0.0,0.05804149830924776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28060607094946594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04758927747779197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06116323439131687,0.08460998369545332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937509539465136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16387288148880494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3847414447429856,0.0,0.08726543080107592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09221877564989928,0.11735538789447393,0.06585791905060233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024452907592076,0.08704993570653337,0.0,0.09210237111112947,0.08661648658834584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956510049436961,0.17777304962920884,0.0,0.0,0.08665558974581562,0.08827071289693114,0.0,0.0,0.08564274387091811,0.0,0.12258201760481778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471874566523787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970801092496209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019724229179544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09620806836387087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945972412743012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813676189585853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304077410491914,0.0,0.08824571914213561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230523489859172
bipolarreddit,catsandclavicles,2018/02/03,"International health insurance? I know this may be a long shot, but I’m moving abroad this summer and am shopping around for an international health insurance plan that will cover my psychiatric medications and a few psychiatrist visits a year. Does anyone have experience with this? My work doesn’t provide expat insurance and I’ll be primarily getting my healthcare in South Africa (but I’ll be living in Madagascar). 
I’m pretty sure I qualify as having a pre-existing condition but I haven’t been in the hospital for three years, and I’ve had consistent coverage for at least the last five years. ",6.689444444444442,8.684647388888889,7.484259259259264,65.4491666666667,65.85185185185185,11.696296296296294,32.94444444444444,11.45678717892309,4.588311111111112,490,21,78,17,8,163,72,108,0.0,0.923,0.077,0.8229,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,7,0,12,3,0,0,1,12,16,8,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,1,1,1,2,2,0,0,2,2,0,6,1,10,9,2,14,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,1,6,50,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618854531083367,0.0,0.0,0.206103522354092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20260632166805254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264727842797903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096060526211723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4921937772065908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723834799634626,0.1887211997431964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044380256761888,0.20488954211043334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23323389564504135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460710750096517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355409440537569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21820659348249105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685506563377419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4472774210784688
bipolarreddit,BigBenHasAHen,2018/02/03,"I Found What I Was Looking For I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in April 2012. I've struggled with the illness since I was twelve-years-old, and initially I was diagnosed with unipolar depression. I've been hospitalized more than ten times. I've been suicidal countless times. Without my medication I experience so many manic breakdowns-breakdowns that are terrifying. 

I came to terms with my illness in October 2016, after losing someone that I love with all my heart. When this person severed our relationship, I realized that I needed my medication to make the paranoia, the delusions, and the recklessness go away. It was through this loss that I saw the light. 

But, it was as of recently that I realized the way I treated people and myself, and my perspective in life was also unacceptable. I have a strong support network, but I disclosed everything under the sun to anyone who would listen which is not good for anyone's self-esteem. 
I was the proverbial empty barrel that made noise-all the contents of my barrel would spill out into the ocean that is life. I was unable to love myself, so I sought that love in others. I revealed everything about myself in the hope that someone else could soothe my pain, only to scare away people that just wanted a healthy relationship with me. I am sharing my story because medication saved me from the mania, but it was mindfulness that saved me from myself. 

I realized all the love I need is within myself, and that I don't need to turn to others to soothe my emotions when meditation coupled with medication can lead one to find the peace and bliss we are all looking for. 
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bipolarreddit,obliviously_willful,2018/02/03,"Everybody asks this When do I go to the hospital? How many times have I seen people ask that question? 

I've counted all the pills in my ""treasure chest"" but not sure I like any of the potentially lethal combos. I've gone on the darknet markets to see what I can get, but my drugs of choice are hard to come by. I'm not sold on more physically violent methods. I live alone so nobody would stop me.

I've started writing a kind of philosophical paper to explain (mostly to my parents) why I think suicide is a reasonable option. I've drafted my will and had it witnessed. I've been writing my suicide letter in my head for weeks.

Still, if I do it, it won't be tomorrow. Maybe I won't do it at all. Probably not. Do I just wait for my next pdoc appt? What do I say to her when I see her?",1.5268495934959319,3.3273670914634152,3.5679024390243934,88.95595934959353,79.3048780487805,6.568455284552847,25.567479674796747,7.554174236665415,1.2611021138211391,609,24,133,9,15,207,105,164,0.189,0.8009999999999999,0.01,-0.9862,1,1,2,0,0,2,21.0,0,0,0,0,6,5,1,0,6,0,16,4,2,2,3,24,31,8,3,2,7,1,1,1,0,4,2,1,0,0,8,2,0,2,4,0,1,3,5,1,0,0,5,5,21,4,17,21,4,17,0,0,3,0,11,5,0,4,10,85,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17913967292379704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762219454360492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233980269814811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489941123420987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20058459523005592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036712228135307,0.0,0.09830004839908234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549427496239438,0.0,0.17751208596600707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18011652789307062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450200769140379,0.0,0.15273134608747232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175359456473215,0.17376668412210733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839503387734267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920572668648732,0.0,0.0,0.11991221722931435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864856247205408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19376048920934602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17783692301724313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754878435511825,0.0,0.0,0.27566157069225483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122425583152863,0.0,0.13813014678932653,0.14460656270787375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.378391476993236,0.0,0.16301755330258194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11082904764338927,0.0,0.0,0.10085733674347444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13874216460283498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15607409353655344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286943953755307,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ThrowItAwayLikeTuna,2018/02/03,Zyprexa withdrawal. I wasn't able to get a ride to an appointment to refill my meds so now I'm going to be without my zyprexa until next week. Does anybody have any experience with withdrawal effects? What should I expect? I was taking 15mg daily. ,1.9987500000000007,4.755171375000003,3.7550000000000026,82.39000000000001,85.25,6.533333333333335,26.75,7.793537801064563,2.1226000000000003,198,9,35,4,6,66,38,48,0.0,0.938,0.062,0.1431,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,1,0,5,9,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,5,0,7,5,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,22,6,0,0.34744177514991303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362723213880785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040486388024942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3398647249462353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18152398738539355,0.0,0.19745916761654592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3859294870500909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3695082695129329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26123297525030786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27869683466045314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33492147275585665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sapp0r0,2018/02/03,"Tapering/stoping seroquel any advice from tapering seroquel? 
tips and what to do? 
warnings etc

seroquel stories?

Thank you",5.98236842105263,9.226345000000002,4.8940789473684205,68.43480263157898,99.0,6.110526315789473,46.855263157894754,7.1686216300943375,5.696042105263159,101,8,10,2,4,30,16,19,0.104,0.753,0.14300000000000002,0.212,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4763795589188406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33151685698717764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5436915942426588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4075720008000818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4488246917130653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,beemilky,2018/02/03,"Bipolar and stimming? Hello everyone!

It is suspected that I am on the Bipolar spectrum. For most of my life however I have participated in behavior such as rocking and hand wringing. I am not on the autism spectrum, which is what stimming is usually associated with. Can stimming be a bipolar symptom?",4.581572327044026,7.808254735849057,6.334245283018872,65.3823742138365,77.11320754716981,8.816352201257864,42.795597484276726,9.2995712137729,5.46476352201258,243,18,34,7,6,83,40,53,0.036000000000000004,0.8909999999999999,0.073,0.4501,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,8,6,1,0,0,6,8,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,7,7,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,31,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4964095801901217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36694195930033496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5399649251308746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5721616964012074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,its_okay_tommy,2018/02/04,"Mania comedown? I've been Hypomanic the past 2 weeks or so. I was still getting a good 3-4 hours of sleep.

But starting Wednesday, it morphed into something else entirely. I was up for nearly 4 days straight, wrote ~10,000, set up an investment portfolio, bought way too many CDs and audio books, and felt fine until around dinner time yesterday.

My girlfriend came over and pleaded with me to sleep. I really didn't want to, but she threatened to call the police on me if I didn't. She said I was a danger to myself. I see that now (walking through traffic, trying to juggle knives because I thought it was funny, etc.)

She had be take a bar and a half of Xanax with two tablets of unisom, and I slept for 17 hours. 

Now I feel like absolute shit. I don't wanna get out of bed. My head's throbbing. I need to shower, eat, and drink some coffee but that would mean being around people (I live in a dorm) and just the thought of it makes my skin crawl.

This is a rant more than anything. My gf said she'd bring me a sandwich and coffee when she gets off. But I'm not looking forward to seeing her. She must be pretty fed up w me after what happened. I feel like such a piece of shit.",2.596715481171543,4.258601506276154,3.5859811715481205,90.63713075313812,75.77824267782427,5.951548117154813,24.502301255230122,6.508806274219699,0.6908642677824268,916,30,192,7,20,294,159,239,0.102,0.816,0.08199999999999999,-0.7717,1,0,2,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,0,10,7,3,0,12,0,16,15,7,1,1,37,43,17,0,6,8,0,4,2,2,2,2,3,3,0,7,15,6,0,6,3,3,4,4,3,0,2,18,10,29,4,34,19,4,34,0,0,3,0,13,14,2,3,18,126,36,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060034204101686,0.23929027333420405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08192943231226239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13723816346633833,0.1537186205381759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866773466184851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13166154009778494,0.0,0.13752549118455315,0.11227455681844098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14989233160408796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13591408607463928,0.1920318044669924,0.1290457694061612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106564892625775,0.0,0.0,0.11272894852396592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885011408219252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13793391478098088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26471527526045624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132280728152676,0.0,0.11867829934491406,0.0,0.11286275630205063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971352518329863,0.13626123648756786,0.0,0.14640178654267366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996564319439546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283006963493517,0.09317653760022886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367338516107144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610054366568583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556917270425964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141999480955798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759208182847151,0.0,0.0,0.2689955680175437,0.0,0.0,0.1034682415705162,0.0,0.0,0.0951295223743392,0.0,0.10733258973460487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105261612801356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133983201946832,0.07837014147912794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124926754580974,0.0,0.13128997563394054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927302769325709,0.10668103682068032,0.10780815179266708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547441634822083,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,KiwiVulpesVulpes,2018/02/04,"How did you out your illness to your family? (xpost Bipolar). Newly diagnosed, have told a few friends, not sure how, or if to tell my parents.  I reached out via email for help when I first thought i had problems about a decade ago, they never responded, that hurt like heck.

So now, I'm in the middle of being handed the keys to the family business, and I've just been diagnosed, started medication, talk therapy starting soon, things are actually looking up for the first time in a bloody long time, but I know that if the discussion goes poorly, I'll probably handle it poorly.

I thought about first asking them to watch 'The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive', but that's bloody long.

What did other people do, how did it go?

Also, side note, why is there Bipolar & BipolarReddit? they seem pretty similar, but the former has more subscribers, presumably many the same?",6.073896103896104,7.37706624844721,6.0225296442687775,77.9530039525692,66.63975155279503,9.33280632411067,30.785431959345,9.573946990214177,2.8917652173913044,690,26,121,14,11,217,114,161,0.067,0.847,0.086,0.4619,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,3,3,3,12,6,0,0,12,0,11,8,1,3,2,24,22,13,0,3,8,1,1,1,1,0,7,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,6,0,2,1,2,3,0,3,8,3,12,3,15,13,3,23,0,2,2,0,17,7,1,4,16,83,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.1427997090097078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971520249857793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702229136416105,0.0,0.15855153318089632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680141928514716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260362306029068,0.2970494337757764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758990907107807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37341182777347504,0.0,0.0,0.11305636222051355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316430537507997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808379469058638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15665229437895165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042068274556212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335918781225356,0.07149081701287202,0.0,0.0,0.2589998553646706,0.12288270141927267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14835849652219132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474149061391463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286088041888365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624852627356656,0.0,0.0,0.10144874203291564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488730703724739,0.15777151379781415,0.1400207317968494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13321588988072466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20715022523105886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13791693702239174,0.0,0.0,0.11761676574548816,0.12790132153061434,0.0,0.16734431565408728,0.0,0.09721701347523376,0.0,0.0,0.2323438034215469,0.17065567085376698,0.0,0.0,0.13982726622080774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320425959844583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,djtrgirluk,2018/02/04,"Anybody else unable to focus on things/bored while depressed? I'm really frustrated with myself. I used to be able to focus on a book or a video game or a TV show for hours on end. I used to be able to finish long books in one sitting. But then my mood cycled right back into depression and I can barely do anything or focus on anything. If I'm watching TV, I have to bounce from one thing to another on my phone; can't focus on the TV show. If I read a book, I can't even finish the chapter, even if they are short. If I play a video game, maybe I'm lucky and I play for an hour but mostly it's less than 15 minutes and I'm done.

I was feeling so good a few weeks ago and I was able to pay attention to things but then my mood shifted again. Sometimes I wish for hypomania so I can get things done. Anybody else experience this? What helps you?",1.0294509803921557,2.8336320888888906,2.9616339869281063,92.68794117647059,80.8888888888889,5.790849673202615,20.588235294117645,6.794906146795322,0.2380196078431376,656,18,149,7,17,220,99,180,0.049,0.836,0.115,0.9043,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,1,0,6,9,1,0,9,0,13,0,0,2,0,23,22,19,0,5,10,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,2,15,1,0,2,3,0,2,4,2,18,4,23,16,3,24,0,2,1,0,6,10,0,9,13,97,24,5,0.4292309636731761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268291169939641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500286969161619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354803401697991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001737207282666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464640000356095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29283486776345546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23904492828977916,0.0,0.1267237437715592,0.0,0.0,0.18900200222166785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13995674847893338,0.0,0.0,0.0723440240601926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475182088817724,0.0,0.0,0.12000618920130787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959014890499108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28180402481647304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12661863191334766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374006519081714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19390533971306412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431157065559504,0.0,0.091658782138672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12218696589958393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14150679949336434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2851619795911597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471451587660533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476772941533835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16453147501005186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,WreckTangularSquare,2018/02/04,"I’m falling deep into this hole.. After what I believe has been a 9 month of having an elevated mood... I’m crashing so hard right now. I haven’t smoked in 7 years and here I am, smoking again. I have no will to keep going. I can’t stop all this destructive behavior. I want to OD so bad. I want to die. I want to sleep and not wake up. I don’t know what to do anymore. Nothing seems to have a point. There’s no rhyme or reason in this life and I just want it to all stop.. I can’t keep having this happen. Even when I’m hypomanic, I still hate myself when I realize how crazy I was being... my husband just sees it as me going through an episode again... just shrugs his shoulders and tells me it will get better. It’s never going to get better. I’m going to keep cycling through this shit all my life. Up and down and up and down. Fuck. ",-0.32787177440808435,1.7509935418994471,1.907470071827614,96.56880819366852,88.4413407821229,4.526842245278,18.021016227720143,5.916634753146586,-0.4177520085129025,640,17,150,5,21,215,98,179,0.201,0.738,0.061,-0.9805,0,0,1,0,0,1,30.0,0,0,0,2,15,8,4,0,4,0,16,7,4,2,4,31,39,14,2,4,5,1,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,11,8,0,5,4,0,0,5,8,5,0,0,2,2,20,2,22,34,3,28,0,0,1,1,3,11,2,2,12,103,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147504559345571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418701192494842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675727368019694,0.0,0.26308698125128743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543628257688983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823766889939603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750255675137396,0.15541517113510944,0.0,0.33811674996062896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13152533931547322,0.0,0.13323680859271178,0.14684442809012493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3966059077629825,0.0,0.0,0.08174053687127952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21011101159345086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11871837961116047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11471313898679768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271466883822884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406020838463159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15292373557506345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701836550691326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11852206063153052,0.13540221230261298,0.0,0.0,0.15267372492382678,0.0,0.0,0.1488418148820561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877948450844228,0.2486972377025839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13000042192548392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35090961237815915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957800775868956
bipolarreddit,digaaron,2018/02/04,"Punctilious I started a whole Facebook thread as a result of being enamored by this word yesterday evening. For those with bipolar, are we so impaled on beauty (as Holden Caulfield) that we can be paralyzed by the necessary bureaucratic minutiae that is punctiliously demanded of us in society?",13.985510204081626,11.910819081632653,12.989489795918367,45.57158163265307,52.06122448979593,17.963265306122448,57.1530612244898,15.903189008614273,9.336706122448977,241,16,31,10,2,79,43,49,0.038,0.8809999999999999,0.081,0.4877,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,1,0,5,6,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,10,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3466370300600252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3714685502056373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6312908716372818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5859400319032044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,clambakeswayze,2018/02/04,Ringing in ears Just wondering if anyone else has a constant ringing in their ears? I have bipolar ll and was wondering if this is common. ,3.0114102564102545,5.8877198846153895,4.128461538461536,80.89987179487181,80.92307692307692,6.543589743589743,31.743589743589745,7.793537801064563,2.7917589743589746,111,6,18,2,3,36,21,26,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,3,2,0,0,6,6,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,2,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,4,2,14,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455519087134814,0.35982348705124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3794987923614389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933642593515539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7616753876979196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,shaber2017,2018/02/04,"I'm lost I've been using alot of drugs, been off my meds for a couple days now. Using coke dope weed pills if I could. Beer and liqour. And I'm pushing my family away half the time i wanna die. I have no savings behind by 2 grand in bills but I just want to say fuck it. Get a bunch of pills and do it in. But I have a 4month boy and 5 yo girl. I really don't know what I want but I really just want to be happy. I don't know what's wrong with me....",-1.4507012987012968,0.08309513333333385,1.5060606060606077,101.26636363636364,88.14285714285714,4.961038961038962,11.450216450216448,6.11248444174946,-1.4065238095238093,339,2,94,3,11,119,68,105,0.104,0.7490000000000001,0.147,0.5075,0,0,2,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,1,4,6,1,0,5,0,9,6,0,2,0,22,21,8,1,6,6,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,4,5,2,0,2,1,1,1,3,3,0,1,3,1,12,3,13,16,2,8,0,1,0,1,3,4,1,2,3,57,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19900290691977254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16911342340398594,0.2343642539770833,0.0,0.13660022912075714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21982582506861792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456328973335943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19967605844054648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19581536445937128,0.1106622272972132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22547618162649385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328109876166988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312161465113709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352736805299517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2713824188440529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16844018548438774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235083871382833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3658724752095031,0.0,0.0,0.3747939052746341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23158149603021985,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ssnakeggirl,2018/02/05,"Just got my med approved my insurance Some of you know that I've been on saphris and lithium for the past year with really, really good results. I've never felt this stable in my life. My insurance company sent me a letter late last week saying they would no longer cover saphris and I'd have to try a small list of acceptable APs... most of which I've tried, the last of which wouldn't work for other reasons. After several days of phone tag with my doctor and two pharmacies she was able to get a hold of my insurance... and convince them I'm their client (seriously?), and she just called me back to say it's been authorized. I can stay on saphris.

I had given up. I was already thinking of the worst case situation and let's be honest, kinda freaking out. I'm just posting this because I want to give hope to anyone who is in the same situation and I want to remind all of you to freak it *if* the worst comes to pass, not *in case* the worst comes to pass. Anxiety is a bitch, and I'll probably struggle with it for the rest of my life, but I can also choose to counter my anxiety with rational, positive thoughts. I can re-frame the situation. I don't need to be a slave to my own worst case thinking. 

Has anyone been able to get psych meds specially approved? Just curious about your experience.
",3.023583713583715,4.8648628378378405,4.309471744471748,85.13433046683048,75.06177606177607,8.106774306774307,26.444541944541946,8.841846274778883,2.0012378378378384,1021,38,209,22,22,336,145,259,0.099,0.7979999999999999,0.103,-0.1098,0,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,0,3,3,3,7,15,1,1,13,0,19,3,0,2,2,44,38,11,0,7,7,0,1,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,10,15,0,1,8,0,0,5,5,9,0,1,11,3,27,6,38,22,10,25,0,0,0,0,16,8,1,5,10,137,37,3,0.24286489950082574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13400372790873094,0.09710948619306947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18579098336766944,0.0,0.0,0.16981678462115646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337405828027563,0.0,0.07402409427260231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399610815697724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20920660619211104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783138842330957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429125785302048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11878423691614033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116594194911472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12688688611011378,0.11648907084531053,0.0,0.1018517775270907,0.09712062313080276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060982218187265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06673609864991188,0.19796730783950986,0.1369810925436783,0.0,0.0,0.1241729071699812,0.1715426608858022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697681533729898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004062282494735,0.09365619132058617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592101365486285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162987198314248,0.0,0.1309247192326017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558547353139934,0.12485278288937082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19313591596635227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371841038453471,0.0,0.0,0.409485484018989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12943083433238525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12694756229066206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15561802114529552,0.0,0.09640380096556532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488932469036433,0.0,0.11862185858109367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14324801013815872,0.0,0.09740578649732667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840426967179696,0.0,0.0,0.08626212823550349,0.0,0.0,0.07819851632001179
bipolarreddit,CloudsTasteGeometric,2018/02/05,"My Bipolar Anthem & Fight Song This song has been close to my heart and brain lately. I discovered it a couple of months ago and it still sometimes brings me to tears. Sometimes it firms my resolve to keep fighting. But most of all it makes me feel like I'm not alone in my struggle.

I think everyone with Bipolar disorder owes it to themselves to listen to this song. It doesn't trivialize the disorder, its a heartfelt expression of what it means to suffer from Bipolar disorder and how to fight it when you don't think you have the strength to keep moving.

It's ""A Better Son/Daughter"" by Rilo Kiley: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0sy7y54XAE

Do any of you have a ""Bipolar Song?""",6.204285714285714,7.845166095238095,5.4160317460317495,81.16785714285716,66.6190476190476,8.13968253968254,30.66666666666667,8.515128840125781,2.338657142857143,552,21,97,8,9,166,77,126,0.168,0.7040000000000001,0.128,-0.6814,1,1,0,0,4,0,24.0,0,3,0,3,3,10,3,1,6,0,7,6,2,2,1,18,18,6,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,13,5,0,2,5,4,1,2,3,5,0,0,1,6,11,5,17,17,2,9,0,1,0,0,8,2,0,1,6,64,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14571329953171674,0.0,0.0,0.17024851177709946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17810608626120095,0.0,0.11178430353349757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14538109866177748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835028815444706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818837773939606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.565182512099484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15707250910514536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311566536976084,0.11743338502577826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19479155620668787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2922176908037422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854282422970003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803079564500389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097251882219442,0.0,0.0,0.17905843685890838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120686076618254,0.17471034248619635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3251528221446575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13127439354228715,0.0,0.0,0.17184607672727156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21065663585292585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,comakisses,2018/02/05,"Does anyone else feel like there should be a childhood bi-polar diagnosis? I read a lot of posts and stories online,  and I think about myself and so many of us seem to have had symptoms early in our lives.  I get that doctors don't want to give a diagnosis like that at such young ages for a lot of reasons,  but I feel like it would've helped me a lot. Does anyone else feel upset that they didn't get a diagnosis soon enough almost?  Do you think an earlier diagnosis would've helped you manage easier or change some part of your treatment/outcome?",8.310000000000002,6.36138532110092,8.17622018348624,75.2713027522936,62.761467889908246,10.921834862385323,32.809174311926604,9.3871,2.65298752293578,436,12,87,6,5,141,73,109,0.044,0.8490000000000001,0.107,0.7564,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,2,3,1,0,5,4,0,1,7,0,7,2,0,1,0,19,17,6,0,2,2,0,3,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,7,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,3,12,3,10,13,6,8,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,7,8,55,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14704946828757515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20536243548334107,0.3009311881634505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15534825700830054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15030761228301018,0.25701955835542456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453493401857396,0.0,0.0,0.1517357241354297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227559316552349,0.20981991760093494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15344655135593646,0.1408722897995801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968614622327597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.215231070806838,0.0,0.12967159819533491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3745408891836179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14888326176686673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590246783390537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14064209495814847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14689014498208747,0.0,0.0,0.15098667442228594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368709355753902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526337989946826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1881916201557528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766429562143094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08661617373613144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20863662898740665,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Semiomime,2018/02/05,Latuda and akathisia My Latuda got up to 120 mg a few days ago and I'm suffering from terrible agitation and I can't stop moving my feet up and down. Is this akathisia? And will this side effect go away or do I have to treat it with propranolol or something?,1.204591194968554,3.5925125094339627,2.771981132075471,90.92199685534591,84.28301886792455,6.552201257861638,22.040880503144656,7.793537801064563,1.0606125786163525,205,7,44,4,6,67,40,53,0.152,0.7659999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.6088,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,5,1,1,1,0,10,8,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,1,0,4,1,8,6,1,10,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,2,3,29,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.379071627788899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4017761019350411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757884717819579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430341857024065,0.0,0.3420178745320902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4545071323663426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3292134488876194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35752106725575283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Oscar_My,2018/02/05,"A Letter to Me The following is a letter I have written to myself to help me battle intense depression. I write this and add to it when I'm coming from a much better place. If there is one positive thing that has come from this illness it is that the wild variance in mood has helped me gain perspective.

Dear _______,

Here you are again. You've been dragged kicking and screaming into the darkness, the abyss, the place where there is only one way out. You barely eat, lie in bed all day but hardly sleep. Ordinary tasks have become insurmountable. Even your bed to which you have been bound is no safe haven. Ideation and contemplation have reared their ugly heads. 

Clear your mind of these terrible thoughts for now. Remember that you have been here before. Don't forget what you have learned. Depression is not your enemy! You are mistaken. This immense weight you carry with you, though debilitating now, is a blessing in disguise. It is a badge of honor, a shield that covers you from head to toe. Take comfort in the fact that you can persevere and survive this as you have done before. And when you leave this place, don't forget to take the shield with you. With it you will find peace in knowing that you withstand anything, because you have been to the worst place imaginable... and survived to write this.",4.513738977072308,6.807064971193416,4.122034097589655,86.11962962962966,72.1275720164609,7.097707231040566,25.97472075249853,7.957251820313856,1.538590593768372,1040,35,192,15,21,313,137,243,0.13699999999999998,0.698,0.165,0.8339,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,19,1,6,12,13,1,0,14,0,29,7,4,0,3,33,38,12,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,20,14,2,2,6,0,0,3,4,6,0,2,7,3,26,6,26,30,3,22,1,2,0,0,26,12,0,1,6,142,46,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11194692547628532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08292694112983665,0.15024226662948267,0.23151507042739303,0.0,0.0,0.12031374205172266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343677972171724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773266233465342,0.0,0.2343370748035989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392131635903666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391998942192888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985120814043801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433542631916847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12186250299863385,0.0,0.2792265809252608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823655739582129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476242132184427,0.0,0.0,0.14404362519035346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13735867067690266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10000290620076484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18436449173344766,0.10346232917149753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5685191770474718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541034924474462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13613532404422096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045659078101418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903769910046918,0.0,0.13365574009959913,0.10799824578634296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079799018548112,0.0,0.16565651446244453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,psychward_survivor,2018/02/05,"Lithium: How has it affected your creativity and sexual prowess? Not sure whether I should switch medicines.  I don’t feel as creative.  I don’t feel excited about life, but this seems to be getting better.  I feel slow in my head or like something is fuzzy.  I also noticed my erections are not as firm, nor as easy to achieve and maintain.  Similar to when I was on abilify, I noticed the length of my erections are shorter too.  Is there anyway around this?  The therapist suggested asking for Wellbutrin. ",4.1081763285024175,6.8054463152173925,4.429275362318844,81.51379227053141,74.97826086956522,7.567149758454105,34.13526570048309,8.515128840125781,3.2013294685990346,399,22,68,8,9,125,68,92,0.063,0.8,0.138,0.7918,1,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,2,8,4,0,0,2,0,10,2,1,2,1,16,16,12,0,1,5,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,3,11,4,12,13,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,2,3,52,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19810369858504906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22052566192011866,0.2315872199744975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190905362353389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3757680165380155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12942485037135018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542348874818316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17497382036927905,0.12102476459843355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.56406771478699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22551737953537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19070898404784686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334756481278797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876250679186586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HaRsh_MeLL0W,2018/02/05,"Hypomanic phases+hypersexuality=social suicide *disclaimer: I understand that this post is insanely long but I feel condensing it will dilute its message. Some of this is unrelated to my bipolar II but it still plays a central role in my issue so I felt this would be the best place to post this (plus I don't know where else to post). Little new here. I've been suffering from the symptoms of bipolar II along with social anxiety since my early teens so throughout middle/high school it crippled me socially. My rapid, awkward, all-over-the-place speech in my hypomanic phases and my mumbly, confused speech in depressive phases (if I even spoke at all) along with anxiety kept me from really connecting with anyone and i was never able (and still am not very able) to display my true self, something that crushes/depresses me to this day. It also SERIOUSLY held me back academically/athletically. I was a straight-A student with a promising competitive swimming career up until around 9th grade when my disorder had grown to an unmanageable level due to it going untreated, and it continued to for the rest of high school, with my relatively strict parents calling it bullshit at every turn and never getting me in any counseling or put on any meds until i dropped out of college at 18. Only then did they listen and see an issue. Knowing that I never realized my potential in any area of my life sends me flying into bouts of extreme depressive episodes in which I cry over what could have been and it can last days. I only thought I had depression at this point so I was misdiagnosed for another year. Now at 20 I am finally diagnosed properly and on a mood stablizier although it hasn't been particulary effective, and smoking weed and dropping acid probably doesn't help matters. But I must admit that my first couple trips allowed me to take inventory and understand that I've been bouncing between manic/depressive phases since childhood and that my issue quite possibly extends into sex addiction/hypersexuality. And it brought certain behaviors and memories to the surface that I wasn't willing to face and it's a big reason why I'm even here posting this (I DO NOT condone the use of LSD, especially for the people on this subreddit). Now we get to the main point that the title addresses (not sure if I had to give ya'll my life story first).Throughout my adolescent life a common theme has been my complete and utter lack of control of my sexual impulses, resulting in shameful behavior that I keep buried away from many: public masturbation. At the beach with a towel over me, in the nearest public bathroom and even IN CLASS. I knew it was disgusting as I was doing it, but simply HAD to get off constantly like some nympho. I could only dart to the bathroom throughout the day so many times (our monthly hall passes gave us a limited number of times to leave class). After reflecting, I feel that this urge was aggravated by a combination of my hypomanic phases (which involves being too horny) and my hypersexuality, bringing my sex drive to an INSANE level. If this is the case, then it would explain that behavior. It doesn't justify it, but it gives insight into how this happened. And teachers did NOTHING to address it. Unless the kid's autistic, I would have confronted me about it if I were in their shoes and it may have gotten me the help I needed sooner. Because they turned a blind eye, it continued to fester and get worse. I understand that it's not their job to counsel me but such extreme behavior warrants attention, I was very sick and nobody helped me. There is one exception, in which we were watching a movie in class a year after I discontinued my in-class meat-beating. A risque scene comes on, and my teacher promply says, ""Ok, settle down, John."" to which the class erupts into the most intense laughter I've ever heard that rings in my ears to this day. So if anything they made it worse. I quickly became known as that creepy kid that beat it in the back of class, bc, well.... I WAS that creepy kid that beat it in the back of class. I never stared at some chick's ass to set it off, mind you, if anything I blocked out the world to focus on my animalistic impulses. So if anyone wants to call me a gross creep, save it bc I'm already aware :( But this realization that it may not have been my fault, that I'm not a complete pervert really makes me feel better and could bring me at peace but I feel I cannot confirm it without getting some outside opinions and I don't want to go to anyone else (friends, family, etc.) other than my psychiatrist bc I'm so shameful of it and I fear they would look at me different for the rest of my life. I've just been hurting for such a long time and I'm desperate to get answers about this bc I'm too hung up on it and I likely will continue to be until I come to peace with it.

Thanks",6.486178638779358,7.132385000000002,6.970210869192524,73.86861306360366,65.44951140065146,9.937642150980057,33.964626550088575,9.896977689575412,3.3670777415852338,3879,164,690,80,57,1269,422,921,0.136,0.7979999999999999,0.066,-0.9968,5,0,1,0,0,1,105.0,4,1,6,9,35,30,2,5,40,1,60,17,5,9,10,142,116,64,1,19,26,1,5,2,1,10,10,8,2,5,72,49,0,6,22,3,0,14,18,15,1,2,35,20,93,14,123,65,12,125,0,5,6,3,40,59,1,17,47,491,165,13,0.12108494021557803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681012124783434,0.04841579147180688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12351286728917613,0.0634840587032298,0.09262964784086146,0.0,0.0,0.12699810834573386,0.06203291520354105,0.09964258869188136,0.053895634144977236,0.0,0.0,0.056881643602514215,0.13966026734770653,0.0,0.03690612784281693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353558720454662,0.053544894878691913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236412620680156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430395440239236,0.1269552560786409,0.06542490207997732,0.06790352825660995,0.14501470798632102,0.06698909163808316,0.06650306055802285,0.15617953866374748,0.0,0.260725703950441,0.06144933275042184,0.0,0.06325399545473502,0.06938691589715418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115093026994694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752085784940083,0.11996319154968052,0.05476413033432199,0.05100964224113678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057074052675767525,0.06812711067986732,0.12244836793674467,0.0,0.05813026563062908,0.06632131671052315,0.0,0.10299478829110027,0.0,0.0,0.046774962223187284,0.0,0.18978565099809835,0.116155708034085,0.06881536192805526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05353750637173981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.121741024598258,0.12793288736228908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06481196641953825,0.0,0.0,0.18957182809495174,0.06007905972559133,0.053812929190272384,0.0,0.0,0.06654511649772611,0.04935019363369237,0.0,0.06410573420156322,0.0,0.0,0.17105174836273865,0.0591559855527553,0.06067946012558685,0.0,0.1071563617699286,0.050840426879813085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05728674907167635,0.040412568916934136,0.12276112434573325,0.0,0.0,0.06724903596685508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061130636090678425,0.0,0.048324422031180383,0.0,0.0,0.044891474454072315,0.18677634108807648,0.058472294894112826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05809213290787187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0410251445964795,0.13813582999548474,0.0,0.0,0.06722524833641243,0.0,0.0,0.041972525764839216,0.0,0.06325399545473502,0.0,0.11446440661516645,0.0682525383732415,0.23193180351512174,0.0,0.06527502258912064,0.0,0.0,0.0608619044007768,0.0,0.06439436927958253,0.0,0.0,0.07757011325919427,0.062247742604964636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04814580222653202,0.0,0.12254442391460105,0.048244510215878986,0.0,0.06315900014453217,0.0,0.0,0.10016271380357293,0.0,0.0,0.12343084796369885,0.0,0.04660855132644931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669858966795424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06622363585739599,0.0,0.057060561585887994,0.06292680773977316,0.04552040291768728,0.0,0.0,0.05573937233786511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04806395860604909,0.10590840356849814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317056445386756,0.0,0.1890805395812807,0.07282513714193968,0.0522892556218456,0.0,0.09990775671864736,0.07141903494177218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054434951485265726,0.0,0.05463016249344665,0.0,0.0,0.05836078072082461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339589865551988,0.17203053486498487,0.0,0.0,0.07797473157312579
bipolarreddit,mexihotfries,2018/02/05,Severe anxiety after being admitted and realeases...help!! I need help! I cant do this!its a continuous fullblown anxiety!!,4.982333333333333,8.572373900000002,7.070000000000004,56.24833333333334,85.0,10.666666666666668,41.66666666666666,9.725611199111238,6.850666666666666,98,7,11,4,3,34,17,20,0.337,0.47,0.193,-0.471,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,8,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6264979376068792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.548927926862685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3036221859541796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4625927296023656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,themagicianqueen,2018/02/06,Need a bipolar friend Edit: thanks for all the kind words and support guys,5.755714285714286,7.285180285714286,4.19857142857143,89.89642857142859,67.57142857142857,5.6000000000000005,28.285714285714285,3.1291,0.7493714285714286,60,2,11,0,1,17,14,14,0.0,0.425,0.575,0.9042,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33412007507431146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4282066616871496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.45034398075851895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3206660594020918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4907542312461934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3981541060634011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,radiobrainwaves,2018/02/06,When medication is at therapeutic levels I get bad side effects Is there’s anyone else out there that finds when meds start to help with bipolar disorder bad sideeffects start? I literally can’t find a medication which I can function on AND manages my disorder. I’ve tried at least twelve drugs (iffy on the names of a few I was prescribed).,5.281874999999999,7.2445471875,5.811375000000003,76.19612500000002,69.3125,9.495,31.55,9.888512548439397,3.2587537500000003,276,12,50,7,5,89,50,64,0.19,0.768,0.041,-0.8658,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,3,0,5,4,0,1,0,7,8,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,5,0,8,7,2,11,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,4,30,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14440495292744385,0.2116061487041916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3448744122733333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4733841056891133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394999016124709,0.0,0.17252259322360433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3775146511240301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078991976954329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13842731325250315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22939933514850436,0.41609828523835546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29235460565983257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14021485110125925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,2c3l,2018/02/06,"What's your long term medication plan? Do you plan to take meds indefinitely? I know this sub tends to be pretty pro-medication but the idea of being on them for life seems very daunting.

It's that feeling they restrict / dumb down in some way, and are likely harmful in the long term.

Like the idea of eventually tapering off and giving it a go, especially now off the non-legal psychoactives, which were the primary episode triggers.",4.772785714285714,7.187660850000004,5.387142857142859,76.79500000000003,71.75,8.571428571428571,28.92857142857143,9.23628265651192,2.7063571428571427,348,14,62,8,7,112,64,80,0.091,0.787,0.122,0.1803,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,2,2,1,4,1,0,6,0,5,2,0,1,0,12,12,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,5,2,11,9,3,13,0,0,0,0,5,6,1,3,7,38,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988127515860543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084688841639656,0.12350543901184295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4906456239459644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943094676648396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15349640460635694,0.2123388081140839,0.0,0.0,0.3846348586277326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4827771868085484,0.21892256079686373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22108804769627646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19783592117877893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16339425351631873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17930809354930394,0.0,0.17249497384194662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Kukuruz07,2018/02/06,Teeny tiny white lies? As a rule I don’t lie to my girlfriend as I don’t think that’s a healthy thing for a relationship. However she’s going to be awake soon (it’s an LDR) and is going to message me asking how I slept - and if I tell her the truth that I’ve been up all night and haven’t taken my meds or eaten she’s just going to make a big deal out of it when it really isn’t. I feel the best I’ve felt in months today and I’m kinda scared she’ll ruin it; she’s a very clever lady and always knows how to get to me if I’m being non-compliant with meds or food. Is it really selfish of me to think like that when I would never lie to her about anything else? ,2.991604120676968,2.450572781456956,5.019558498896249,88.95787343635028,72.84105960264901,8.03561442236939,22.07579102281089,7.3871296695380915,0.4862047093451065,514,8,128,5,9,180,89,151,0.086,0.807,0.107,0.4618,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,7,7,0,1,8,0,11,3,1,3,3,25,27,15,0,3,5,0,2,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,9,7,2,0,5,0,0,3,5,3,0,0,5,3,17,4,18,18,2,14,0,1,1,0,12,4,0,5,8,80,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15813330394333658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15639147482550142,0.0,0.17766713959410926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19944130952978545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959288428162903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15875885374480805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09609285097368928,0.0,0.18247374126507326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298040980749868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992910703811961,0.0,0.3240221701543198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444418444100638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928467630839989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12685702644579128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42219601291055453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169271956424035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465750128973474,0.0,0.0,0.17834508002469826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434963718676451,0.0,0.0,0.2040380331155726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19026896838453486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16610837859280814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625796423957167,0.2435473099514956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801411674138609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568076625151924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13500306152095642,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LateActinomycetaceae,2018/02/06,"Lamictal / Pristiq / Wellbutrin - Bad Combination? Hey all -

First, I am a male in my early 20s.

I have been struggling to find the right mix of medication for me. I am not formally diagnosed with BP - my doctor classified it as depression at the beginning.

My experiences with medications began about five years ago. I originally started with small doses of Pristiq (Desvenlafaxine) and Wellbutrin (Bupropion HCL XL). 50mg of Pristiq and 150mg of Bupropion. Still didn't feel 'right' so the doses got upped over the course of a year or two. I eventually was taking 450mg of Bupropion and 200mg of Pristiq.

A year or so later, my doctor added Lamictal (Lamotrigene). Began at 50mg, went to 100mg, and eventually 200mg. At this same time, my doctor decreased my dosage of Pristiq. I was taking: 100mg Pristiq / 450 mg Bupropion / 200mg Lamictal. Lamictal seemingly helped the most out of all the drugs. I was not feeling extremely low ever (i.e. hurt myself).

Looking back it seems like a whole lot of medications...did I really need all that? I began to feel suppressed. While I didn't experience extreme lows, their was not any highs either. It was just flatlined. My sex drive was also non-existent. I am in my early 20s

After speaking with my Dr., we decided to lower some of my doses. He briefly told me what lowering the doses of each of my medications would do, and he gave me the liberty of experimenting a bit. I slowly trickled down to what I am currently on: 25mg of Pristiq / 150mg Bupropion / 200mg Lamictal. I do not feel as emotionally suppressed as I once was, nor do I feel extreme lows. Everything seems to be okay, aside from a few things. I know that life isn't perfect, and being 'happy' all the time isn't normal, but I do feel like I am missing some happiness in my life. Another major issue is my sex drive. It is still completely ruined and it is beginning to affect my life and overall well-being.

I guess my questions are: 

* Was taking all three of those medicines at high doses a bad thing? (In other words, is my doctor not giving good advice?) Should I seek out a 'second opinion'?

* Are there any ways to combat the sexual side effects that you have successfully utilized?

* Should I consider talking with a doctor (my current Dr. or a new one) about changing things up, if so, do you have any personal experience that would lead you to suggest a specific change here?


Thank you for all of the help! If I am missing something in my post, or you need clarification, please let me know.",3.5322727272727263,5.915857339702761,5.0947514958502245,77.60173349739433,75.39065817409767,8.443176992858524,28.326626133950967,9.157702336890667,2.790447558386413,1961,83,349,49,44,659,223,471,0.086,0.843,0.071,-0.8009999999999999,4,0,2,0,0,2,88.0,1,5,1,5,13,20,0,1,22,1,40,22,0,4,8,75,72,24,0,9,14,0,6,2,0,4,20,1,0,2,17,17,0,2,16,0,0,4,10,11,0,6,18,8,53,9,56,47,17,57,0,8,1,2,21,25,0,16,28,242,70,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731058442416226,0.07013096613137486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06326850048563762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614034112943956,0.08295932126265919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06083480495310448,0.13211599110809824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08637344921623531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16738705676543295,0.0,0.08295091783786113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814191744283413,0.0803003941642902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40488946116963176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174866486396692,0.0,0.0,0.0889940971510179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156434504783828,0.0,0.0,0.07110375684520344,0.309559893503021,0.0,0.0,0.2400185267274639,0.056520007263598675,0.0,0.0,0.07230997794575396,0.06729545892901659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07589463320498956,0.0,0.06635818485460887,0.0632757563921202,0.0,0.08715445507913286,0.0,0.0,0.16843947897386805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10605867548266212,0.1671793788793749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469459662303548,0.0,0.0,0.08257584927893401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869594321907317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08090078472835825,0.16764449101269455,0.07730350753126276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06643695114658084,0.0,0.0,0.06726102402230813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391011136065785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173260288413278,0.0,0.07641007831213009,0.0,0.0,0.07751622521842616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425524396311758,0.053610594847698964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908045417320563,0.0,0.08684487399687704,0.0,0.0,0.0757706162455081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862727552909701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05068330599602136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351281183737483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21607087407095132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609068459399136,0.0,0.0,0.055998237484713206,0.0,0.12636320880822552,0.0,0.0,0.0827085202620553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17845464547127252,0.06358990508509679,0.0,0.0728387660022228,0.0,0.0,0.15768212857316655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226556981941883,0.0,0.0,0.0755980878315455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728418109765248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06279806610919493,0.0,0.0,0.07113418266613879,0.07334070314797393,0.0,0.08832944011048108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11240252041513926,0.0,0.0,0.15284303506453634
bipolarreddit,nrfx,2018/02/07,"Mind and body is broken. If I have to spend one more day at my job I'm afraid I may turn violent. I'm in a really bad place. My meds are out of wack due to switching some stuff..

I really hate my office though. Even with a clear head, if such a thing exists..

I need something new to do, but I have no idea what. I'm afraid I'm too broken and under educated to find a new career.

I'm 40. My legs and knees are shot. I have loads of impractical experience.

I'm deathly afraid I'll kill myself. I'm just as afraid I won't.

No one can be this sad and agitated all the fucking time, and im so tired of dealing with it alone.

Thanks for listening. ",-0.4690714285714286,1.5232678785714313,2.31964285714286,94.01660714285715,88.07142857142857,5.7857142857142865,16.607142857142858,7.1686216300943375,-0.09007142857142814,493,11,120,8,16,172,91,140,0.259,0.6890000000000001,0.052000000000000005,-0.9866,1,1,1,0,0,1,20.0,0,0,0,0,6,11,4,4,5,0,11,6,4,0,2,20,24,11,2,3,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,5,8,0,0,2,0,1,0,3,10,0,2,0,1,12,1,15,21,3,10,0,1,0,1,2,5,1,4,5,69,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18209636303030172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14680224922976876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952962421864079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11338927231042314,0.18126256794404846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161273673468863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17198557213406698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16069617788366236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162542638662928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17358572363040073,0.18044191284240185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19847923476933352,0.1899156327447612,0.0,0.17447409364029662,0.0,0.19451863863348096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952962421864079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17752795024241616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036820738082391,0.0,0.3396158562172993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23828019122223115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18369434502636456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22526942442656325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535472734946252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012716890559811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16187131611491476,0.0,0.0,0.11680691057268765,0.0,0.1727421316840454,0.0,0.10252198134648596,0.2020790788684097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19124153293304835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,onpsychmedsthistime,2018/02/07,"First week on Lamictal and it's giving me memory problems. Does it ever end? I started meds for the very first time last week and I'm really excited for the future.  My doctor gave me Lamictal and it's great.  I can tell its already working because I'm not getting extremely depressed or extremely manic, I feel balanced.  But I'm getting really bad memory problems and it's to the point where I drive and forget where I'm going.  

Currently I'm taking one 25mg per day and tomorrow I will have to take two pills each day and work my way up until I have to take 100mg per day.  I definitely love the effects but the side effects are frustrating.  Has anyone had any experience with this?  Did it ever go away?",1.9763829787234042,4.404212737588658,4.311460992907803,80.89400000000002,81.19858156028369,7.731631205673759,25.002836879432625,8.648137234880735,2.2297296453900715,560,22,104,14,15,194,87,141,0.083,0.8220000000000001,0.095,0.1654,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,6,4,8,1,0,5,0,8,3,0,2,2,21,25,11,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,5,0,4,3,1,11,3,10,21,1,28,0,1,0,1,4,7,0,1,17,61,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16248714497944616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013080253512238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10295625701351632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13834035469604106,0.0,0.1229423849652828,0.08975842631957735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848801222146632,0.0,0.12682083033650146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071022239169826,0.12885400217065554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304142625790152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26638081234120514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403264615303454,0.0,0.0,0.07445086665697129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25049092539591605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15385756934618236,0.1412496266958682,0.1673640382860318,0.0,0.0,0.16233675959275307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200233126052206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13289323757675586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355461796484275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977617901819012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13919294176754482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2817847754706093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886562395608184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042198875772721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3321269369189544,0.0,0.12869753181331864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08585901758477485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383575318236874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149151840553128,0.0,0.116875239006532,0.2362201171479033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21439041446290105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hegbp,2018/02/07,"Industrial Design for Bipolar stability I’m a student studying industrial design and currently working on a research project/designing a product that will help people with mental illness, specifically bipolar disorder. I came here to get some more insight!
I was inspired by a severe manic episode my dad just experienced in December, and also by my own diagnosis of Bipolar 2. Essentially, I want to create a product that will maintain routine, promote stability, and possibly warn the user and their support group when intervention might be necessary. 
I’ve been looking at wearable technology like Fitbit and smart watches, and also at mental wellness apps that track mood, sleep, etc. I’m moving towards creating a series of products, one wearable, one stationary light/clock/pill dispenser, and also an app.

So, I have some questions!
Do you use any apps/technology to maintain routine or track your wellbeing? (Sleep, medication reminders, mood logs) Do you use it regularly? Why or why not? 
What is your daily routine around taking your medication?
While manic or depressed, how would you react to technology advising you to reach out to family, your therapist, or you psychiatrist? How would you feel if it alerted them directly? 
What is the most friendly way you could be reminded to take medication, maintain a sleep schedule, or reach out for help without feeling chastised?

Any other comments and ideas would be much appreciated! Thank you!
",8.18048668503214,10.571649454545458,8.328539944903586,59.29715335169882,62.71900826446282,10.667033976124886,42.783287419651046,10.746095033038511,5.682952433425161,1176,71,152,32,18,383,152,242,0.054000000000000006,0.7759999999999999,0.17,0.9799,1,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,12,2,2,11,10,0,0,10,0,17,10,3,5,0,42,31,22,0,6,9,1,2,1,1,6,7,0,0,0,8,13,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,1,1,2,3,5,20,7,23,18,7,15,0,1,2,0,22,8,0,11,5,113,28,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840499811637277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16103023212718254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053998664368463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13541647011244484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453165731397148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197655082453548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356950666607251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13204574938082195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161567396820483,0.0,0.1197317911802089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09147447375144996,0.0,0.06185838792625621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15872018746484476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365762115744062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057843581164927126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942501443271244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578224355714604,0.23863590602278376,0.1256022167083072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12583898685355752,0.08703660276830368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045992702821635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08208268962437705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13347664505002954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13263354197532207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13375673047279402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35545235348811915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13435734154722262,0.0,0.0,0.17804204232089174,0.0,0.0,0.10900553436074817,0.0,0.13746991383477514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20451677194481108,0.0,0.0,0.06983456882298109,0.09397930701963683,0.0,0.0,0.10645457108102163,0.0,0.21367266278911015,0.0,0.0,0.11413203667997375,0.0,0.08619559948771573,0.0,0.0,0.25232093033344194,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CricketCake,2018/02/07,"After 1 year with no job, I finally got one only to quit this morning after working half a shift. I’m so embarrassed. 

After over a year of hospital stays, manic episodes and what not, I finally felt well enough to apply for a job at a salon I have been going to and I was hired the same day! I was so proud and excited! I told my friends and family and my sister even took me out for drinks to celebrate.

Then came Monday and it was just a training day. My anxiety got the best of me and didn’t sleep at all Sunday night but I think I did well on Monday except for a few times I think I talked way more than I should have and possibly said some stupid shit. So then I was scheduled to work again today. I haven’t slept this entire time, I’m manic and have had 3 panic attacks. I’m obviously not ready yet and I feel like such an asshole for even trying.  I sent a stupid long text to the girl that hired me apologizing but basically saying I can’t do it. 

So I sit here typing this and crying my eyeballs out because I failed again and feel like I really am letting people down. Again. 

Setting up a therapy appointment as soon as they open this morning...

Edit: I don’t think you guys will ever know how much your words of encouragement mean to me. I’m crying again but this time from thankfulness. ❤️",2.1081179775280887,3.9799954344569315,3.8191619850187273,87.49593398876404,77.80149812734079,6.996816479400749,21.611891385767787,7.9370924344782425,0.9563734082397004,1019,28,214,17,24,341,155,267,0.174,0.733,0.092,-0.9746,2,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,1,6,19,17,4,2,12,0,19,4,3,1,3,40,41,24,0,1,7,1,3,2,1,2,0,2,0,2,9,17,1,0,8,1,0,4,7,7,2,2,17,5,31,10,31,21,8,45,0,1,0,0,14,9,1,1,30,151,40,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910137082820646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13534850039414442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07252458865173385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485439671105855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13607295214926798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26137161457812913,0.15345496072694068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11654784815854825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229304923251156,0.0,0.15716055172091747,0.10761752200833136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11215677273504757,0.0,0.12031223586379282,0.16998808894388429,0.1142323470246672,0.26065732139429604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191793050967012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06761486653392926,0.0,0.1903065025347704,0.0,0.0,0.1178015722760245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361238822852833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06538422591139716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165753735572493,0.0,0.11624799916083595,0.0,0.0,0.10528700127901684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12959603218558116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874585452854588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11164771944873177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061890829917202,0.09048401836461084,0.0,0.13958870423680125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08248061619289407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13412372305862044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654199766986746,0.0,0.0,0.0762168897771053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317018074004302,0.0946117814542435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221236574072643,0.0,0.0,0.11905851394927805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12680895472004747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956256639452026,0.0,0.10953397949864553,0.13605552907742252,0.0,0.0,0.2286985017769393,0.0,0.0,0.2081216278304878,0.0,0.11277210740999692,0.11368341141892233,0.13218292879815202,0.0807745813288318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443490689489756,0.0,0.0,0.21394129893875405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1732269298532176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15322889891497965
bipolarreddit,darthhoux,2018/02/07,Abilify Maintena So I'm currently on Abilify 30mg and I'm kind of interested in switching because I like the idea of just getting one shot every month instead of pills everyday. I was wondering if any of you have had experience with the injectable version? Was it good or terrible? Hopefully someone has some insight :) ,4.435919540229887,7.395018913793103,6.286896551724138,67.20609195402301,75.3793103448276,10.763218390804601,40.70114942528736,10.504223727775694,5.90385287356322,259,18,39,10,6,89,48,58,0.048,0.7390000000000001,0.213,0.8679,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,2,0,5,1,0,0,0,10,10,4,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,3,5,7,7,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,5,4,26,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21449470101592089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19227556685490596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657528288730905,0.0,0.0,0.3085388171366194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16479261376323173,0.0,0.0,0.2645572154801682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132807250959116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3560679396651633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32845876535765145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15409704729062262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25176322150494435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21373504601154875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26725220535375915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3420567998425602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,biteme20,2018/02/07,"Meds Rollercoaster So I think I've been on pretty much all the antipsychotics now. Right now I'm on Latuda before it was Abilify before that it was Geodone. The list goes on. My libido has gone in the toilet the last year or so. My doc says could be the dopamine being suppressed. So now he's added Wellbutrin to the mix. It's been only one day but I've gotta say I'm getting really sick of these meds and the side effects. I really hope my sexdrive comes back. If it doesn't I think I may consider just white knuckling it and getting off all this crap. I've been on meds since 2001. Started with Risperdal.
Hate that crap. I swear my fingers got fat on that stuff. Has anyone been through this low libido stuff ? Is there any hope ? Has anyone been on an antipsychotic and had wellbutrin added to the mix ? What were the results. Looking for any kind of advice or input. Thanks
",1.4716502463054189,4.046344637931039,2.1540722495894933,94.37672413793106,85.3793103448276,4.923481116584567,20.354679802955662,6.42735559955562,0.1855438423645324,693,21,142,7,21,214,105,174,0.122,0.8009999999999999,0.078,-0.8524,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,1,9,8,3,0,10,0,18,5,4,2,2,21,34,10,0,4,5,0,1,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,14,5,1,1,3,0,0,2,1,4,0,1,11,5,9,4,15,18,3,21,0,1,2,0,3,11,2,6,8,86,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14238720624705875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981770972597584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20376918633515845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204284619468054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479788379094881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12551721555324802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163384614066808,0.0,0.0,0.09397160889910997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1522560776129464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653848231714607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438595503709352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28944801168925777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15173569412158094,0.0,0.11877399907615813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12236063064060165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4855565711709741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10711442854003954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873761636215353,0.11081986199858722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14824057874529753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18669253111693784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443648825041435,0.0,0.23175063958699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053373250240833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313507069693884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3336087102605614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13415120936918373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18673158615390348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383317484601716
bipolarreddit,lanadelrayban,2018/02/07,"I’m in a weird place, I think I always see people saying they like being hypo but I’m depressed right now and it’s kind of a relief. Although I’m sad for no reason, apathetic is probably more fitting, and I’m not eating and am just so tired all day and don’t really leave my bed.. I’m still keeping up with my hygiene which usually goes right out the door when I get depressed. But my mind is like on vacation. I haven’t changed a thing with my meds. I take them around the same time(s) every day. I have been crying a little bit more. For the longest time I didn’t cry at all. I might actually be sad about something. I mean I, for the most part, hate myself and my life, but that’s an everyday thing. Maybe my mind isn’t as “on vacation” as I thought. I’m just happy, for lack of a better word, to not be manic/hypo bc I’m starting to think that I get more mixed than anything. I’m possibly even mixed right now but on the more depressed side, if it “works” that way. I don’t think I’m making sense. Is it possible to be in an almost constant mixed episode but either lean manic or depressed? I thought I had a pretty descent grasp on “bipolar” but fuck idk",1.8195414462081128,3.4436934115226343,3.5393180482069404,90.29740740740742,77.8477366255144,6.2746619635508525,23.094062316284536,7.07126945348624,0.6995370958259843,901,28,197,10,21,301,134,243,0.235,0.6829999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.9918,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,2,2,10,15,2,0,13,0,17,5,0,2,2,42,41,18,0,2,13,0,0,2,0,1,3,1,2,0,9,9,1,1,8,0,0,0,8,9,0,0,5,2,24,6,25,31,12,29,0,6,1,1,3,17,1,5,13,124,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.10765056011510547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11046354551444222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09179009283034033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09077903031261814,0.09820285622834894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756377667604227,0.12043432710616248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116697594751355,0.0,0.0,0.11921025431171375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423495185957779,0.14228681993006295,0.0,0.3800531783514248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287877146320505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07286136276367916,0.0,0.09294431066143614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198352404570174,0.11526903366010255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743131420828645,0.0,0.10891224582961756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980521601115836,0.0,0.11487506513600294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168066077908011,0.0,0.0,0.07791804715985144,0.10778770556176684,0.11056361787482877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363545782748304,0.0,0.11082524957867723,0.12016429581610208,0.1225339958480402,0.0,0.0,0.11702573111663693,0.22277140486043906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11945932207841825,0.0,0.0764778442375802,0.0,0.11525466060573067,0.0,0.0,0.24872494106136964,0.0,0.11222900608685996,0.1189371599446898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066997912593738,0.11342117435952465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826226836569113,0.0,0.0877261278962291,0.0,0.0,0.08790598302995581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492511383409489,0.0,0.0,0.07808082358409339,0.0,0.08809691034622698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294240626536463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465754520916455,0.2120542886750592,0.0,0.1751540024209932,0.12864997191960795,0.12678972587400272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149529622683625,0.0,0.0,0.08756212590856678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030991262290035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,psychbub,2018/02/07,Experiences with Topamax (topiramate) Hey all! I’ve recently added this medication to my routine. Just curious as to others experiences..any insight is greatly appreciated. ,6.893846153846159,10.622366846153849,9.584153846153846,35.610846153846175,92.07692307692308,12.849230769230768,47.50769230769231,9.888512548439397,8.930593846153847,142,11,14,7,5,51,24,26,0.0,0.7809999999999999,0.219,0.7339,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31622380232008346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4548705280651236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5126768793921852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4684502184760446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4591428096904287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DoItForBirb,2018/02/07,"Curbing Self Harm Urges? I relapsed a little bit in the depths of this depressive episode (and regretted it the second I did it) and I'm pretty determined to never do this again. I know I just have to keep working hard, but is there like a substitute activity that I can engage in when I feel like I need to hurt myself? I try to draw when I feel depressed, but sometimes it doesn't always work.

Also, I've seen a call for communication here, and i would love to have some people who understand my situation to chat with, if that's a thing we're doing now.",4.989464285714289,5.344408303571427,6.1374999999999975,79.5575,68.64285714285714,9.257142857142858,28.5,9.23628265651192,2.2051107142857145,438,14,89,8,7,147,80,112,0.139,0.693,0.16699999999999998,0.644,0,0,0,0,0,2,12.0,0,0,0,2,8,9,0,0,6,0,9,1,0,0,1,19,18,9,0,4,4,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,9,4,0,2,4,1,0,0,2,5,0,1,2,4,12,4,11,15,2,9,0,4,1,1,5,4,0,2,7,64,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16162265520651412,0.1681668840937886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206454411677095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20637098414629476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3481441015177535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20437991149194654,0.1443832804020378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18104566531233476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163567254287472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17963949851437522,0.0,0.0,0.11107118248446053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19747580625552635,0.20256150243265125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824069305932812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985770296923726,0.15587521787179134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011360454134847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056126285159581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21083875721606454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22717358790981124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19988622095377975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342690496481494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13721548489444926,0.0,0.0,0.2103975991166868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2942685283606876,0.0,0.0,0.1435690245695265,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Yas-Qween,2018/02/07,Tfw you go to work sick so you can save your sick days for depression Because any kind of sickness is more tolerable than depression when it gets bad. I feel guilty for being around others when I might be contagious but it's what I have to do.,3.342755102040816,5.06331791836735,4.1181122448979615,87.35635204081633,73.89795918367345,8.16530612244898,24.494897959183675,8.841846274778883,1.6048326530612247,194,6,41,4,4,62,40,49,0.275,0.684,0.041,-0.8631,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,3,0,1,4,5,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,0,5,10,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,6,2,7,7,1,5,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,29,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22301188712293665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2919380144471487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738179719361096,0.19991047242123802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21149553733850676,0.0,0.5649121346035438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16581738936213347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17133622231782644,0.0,0.1863770641486238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34150125274676457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478947649137158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387457690338068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,B-I-P-O-L-A-R,2018/02/07,"We need to support one another. Seriously. I mean real, solid, ongoing support.

This subreddit is amazing, and I thoroughly encourage the use of Skype or something more ""real"" to help heal and support one another.

Since posting this, I have found the Skype group (see comments), and that is really helpful. Please join if you want to, and we can build an even greater community.

Thanks, and all the best! ",4.604245472837022,7.45161791549296,5.317826961770628,75.00197183098595,74.07042253521126,9.127565392354127,34.08651911468813,9.606745405546679,4.030322334004024,316,17,51,9,7,102,52,71,0.018000000000000002,0.563,0.419,0.9879,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,2,1,0,1,1,8,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,1,1,17,14,7,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,6,7,4,13,4,1,0,0,1,0,8,0,0,2,0,35,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35116221254194285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17572362128104646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059611034298784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18359524310128028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2244702498459528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18239713361482546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12415864561570734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22693067898665925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18380477104021595,0.0,0.0,0.1603664111606921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3811790571775824,0.10726981369671754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343230801930842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385125687926385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12890765289348108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5700451815385442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15416123130504936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14461906714389344,0.0,0.0,0.09876363783309547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,purplepeoplehat3r,2018/02/08,"Success or hypomania? Regardless things are FINALLY looking up. Today my psychiatrist released me! She saved my life several times and I saw her for 5 years but now I'm moving across the country and will need to find someone new. I thought she was going to change my medicine but she said I seemed too stable to make any changes with the move coming up and her not being able to observe me face to face anymore. Wow that felt good to not *need* to add another Med. She emphasized my progress and that I should find a doctor in my new area within the next three months but that she considered our time together a success because I became more and more stable as time went on. I walked out of that appointment on air. 

Feeling great. Feeling GREAT. Walked right into a tattoo parlor and spontaneously got another piercing. Next door was a record store so I spent 100$ on vinyl. I'm hoping I'm just treating myself instead of ramping up to hypomania. 

I finally graduated college in December after a whole year of stability and things are truly looking up for me for the first time since 2011. Just wanted to stop in to brag a little bit (sorry) but mostly remind you beautiful humans that stability and success are possible! Just keep trucking! I'm so glad I didn't give up and end my life before the good part started. Love and light to all of you. Thanks for your support along the way I love this community. ",3.8720646766169153,6.165979962686567,4.747835820895523,80.91202736318408,74.0,7.600995024875622,28.33084577114428,8.472884824447931,2.2697905472636815,1122,46,202,21,24,363,159,268,0.009000000000000001,0.7040000000000001,0.287,0.9983,0,0,0,0,0,1,24.0,1,3,0,5,8,16,0,0,12,0,9,7,2,1,1,45,39,18,0,6,10,0,3,0,0,2,3,1,1,1,8,16,0,2,7,0,2,7,3,0,0,2,10,8,31,16,38,26,7,47,0,0,3,2,16,19,0,4,20,131,39,6,0.10520699781442028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07154436621548503,0.22063742075108864,0.0,0.0,0.10433707186827856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641332093716213,0.0,0.08952340627853864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485879323980885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225901074751475,0.09062651295289738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1076838202652649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318217297222507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10639163842311627,0.0,0.10101521656227327,0.23049824725654225,0.19231458003382246,0.08948901859592615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092413886910624,0.0597915613541511,0.17648527650906615,0.08414364699434683,0.2319821730074558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044942873570147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935128136270107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486216277937773,0.0,0.10544505068007633,0.0,0.0,0.17669476220926608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899068461659016,0.0,0.07022648798685213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686125735191236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08397522192216328,0.2236367777828414,0.0,0.15601931161272758,0.0,0.20321914815093176,0.2237776714460071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392892628592345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11860508239386218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08984620129224509,0.10007594708159558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957764995117477,0.0,0.11885396154895216,0.0,0.08702831577120583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08914154783854611,0.0,0.0,0.11777062062946828,0.07446605455049267,0.0,0.0,0.08795776103037449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938765436047415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686046858158312,0.0,0.0,0.1397897090501896,0.0,0.0,0.08352260452895588,0.24538818591141304,0.0,0.09972393239670434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062053813130267005,0.08350841788242584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752794099777523,0.0,0.11745985590130666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13549971449114107
bipolarreddit,fashionstudy,2018/02/08,"Psychosis triggerd by bodytherapy Hi Guys,

I have had a psychotic episode 2x. In between my recovering fases I noticed that massage therapy was a trigger for me too sliding back and loosing it. After I noticed it the second time I called up some masseuse therapists and came to find out: They have a contra-indication for massages. Meaning they dont do massage therapy on people who have psychiatric problems. The reason being that massaging the body does something to the mind. It can release emotions that are ""stuck"" in your body and these emotions can trigger you.

That was really a bummer for me because whenever I was stressed and needed relaxation I would take a massage.

I have been looking into things like: Meditation, Reiki, Breath therapy and Bio energetica. But often their is a contra -indication.

I wanted to know if any of you also feel their is a body mind connection? And that things that happen to your body can be a trigger. Would love to hear experiences. I would do anything to stay stable & healthy. But I need to find a way how to cope with stress and how to relax my body in a way it wont be triggered.",5.8640350877193015,7.45190605741627,6.386583732057417,74.09075279106858,67.37320574162679,9.018309409888356,35.464433811802245,9.3871,3.5825002232854857,902,45,149,18,15,293,123,209,0.053,0.86,0.087,0.7968,0,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,0,4,4,0,6,7,0,2,14,0,25,7,6,7,0,37,38,13,0,8,3,0,1,1,0,4,0,1,0,1,14,11,0,0,6,2,0,2,2,3,0,1,7,3,22,4,24,24,1,15,0,0,1,1,14,7,0,3,4,117,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08011083135500956,0.0,0.1085408172038492,0.0,0.06812321752045633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08243643629290012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702927622283977,0.0,0.061066451537903375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5563656004947101,0.0,0.0,0.10229105001638923,0.11457482893071275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876648243698429,0.0,0.11740570230241833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22536937192228704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799149747639743,0.0,0.0,0.05065207164479007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831183734095852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991901386580383,0.08858543904237727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290580218421467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05505419247719104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048941007037092026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08412273640423877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904128869561742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10912119552954068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022987099709613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14855869252337114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22810242259412586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06944952939680492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585504693525228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06417540716147244,0.10299776701905604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07712049481187877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10677444756246583,0.0,0.0,0.22950288385512516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753199980934823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34368047557364234,0.11631223179618015,0.13310516621344026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058413518946566725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05908648903415645,0.15903033088753166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21348678934391746,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kenji,2018/02/08,"Welp, back to being alone for a while Broke up with the gf. It was mutual, went the best way it really could have. We just are different people, and we live different lives.

 It hurts but it's the loneliness that going to hurt the most I suppose. It took me a long ass time to find someone (8 years). And finding someone else isn't going to be super easy, I just work and stay home most of the time.

 So, time to inner reflect. Back to finding me. It's actually kind nice being by myself, but it's when it stops being nice is when it gets to be a problem. Wish me luck. ",0.5115123859191684,2.6651315593220346,2.650000000000002,92.23039765319427,85.10169491525423,5.664667535853977,18.39895697522816,7.010146845296331,0.17528865710560648,436,11,96,6,13,147,74,118,0.157,0.604,0.238,0.946,2,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,2,0,0,3,7,10,0,0,8,0,11,1,1,0,0,21,17,9,0,3,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,10,6,0,1,4,0,0,4,1,4,0,0,3,0,8,6,12,8,3,19,0,3,0,1,3,2,1,3,11,65,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.14480230719867354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15368205847370295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281977358244801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15572085124532492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847330902402872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3100613829275945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12395658605611715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4068634704457225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775250124323427,0.0,0.16866117414942303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488422042262522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31769831761346123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15452009217142046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620532601973311,0.13131601205986165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028714414801124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14198435809454002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505919909915934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514521745785176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581586143116308,0.0,0.1240564631108047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595733742827477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16486114013416464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778106719764372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375543360009482,0.0,0.0,0.1706353704045132,0.0,0.0,0.10802601144188627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095555043326364
bipolarreddit,LikeYouNeverHadWings,2018/02/08,"Some tips to save $$ on Latuda I keep seeing a ton of posts about how expensive Latuda is for people and of course many posts about how helpful it has been. I must say for myself it has been helpful with the depression but its certainly not a fix all for me. So with that I wanted to share some tips of what I have encountered along the way with trying to afford and stay on this medication. There are some options or relief available. Not sure I'd call them solutions but instead kind of band-aids. Ultimately it wont get better until generics come out but from what I have read it doesn't look like the patent will run out till like 2026 or thereabouts.



1. When you get the script from the doc make sure to ask about samples if they are not provided first off. I got lucky and I have to say I was on this med for probably a good 3 months just on samples alone. Perhaps my practice is a bit more forgiving on that front.  I told them I had problems with getting the cost (which I did) so they gave me more samples to hold me over till payday.  There were also times I ran out before the pharmacy could get an order in, and in which case they gave me samples to hold me over till I could get filled.


2. Get the discount card!!! It says pay as little as $15 which for me brought my cost down to $150. Not great but far less than what it was. [Latuda copay Assistant](https://secure.latuda.com/secure/latuda-savings.cfm)


3.  Check if you have a preauthorization requirement for this drug. Unfortunately this might require you to call your insurance company directly. Some pharmacies might be able to tell you if its required. For me if my pdoc didnt submit a preauthorization the cost for me was near retail which is about $1300/US.


4.  Check if you have a prescription deductible. I did and at the beginning of every year it renews. So I was surprised to find that my drug I was getting for $150 was now ringing up at $400. Sadly the only way past this is to pay it. But once paid, my cost was back down.


5. McKesson the company that provides the discount card will also provide you with two 14day supplies of latuda at no cost.  That is right, **FREE**.  Just today I got my second free 14day supply of latuda. Call them up at 1-855-5-LATUDA and you can speak to a rep to get this. They will provide you with the info that is used the same as another discount card.


6.  Lastly I was told of another option they have available where they will supposedly try to negotiate a lower cost with the insurance company. I'm not sure what kind of success rate there is with this as I have not yet attempted to go this route. This will be my last ditch effort before telling doc its too much and have to find something else. In order to do this you would call the same number above 1-855-5-LATUDA and inquire talk to someone about what options are available and perhaps inquire specifically about negotiating how much the insurance cost/pay.  I only found out about this one as my insurance is always rejected with the card so I called the card company to sort it out and was somehow transferred to a rep that informed me this is what her department did, before transferring me to another.  


Anwyays, hope this helps some of you. The preauthorization and deductible points should apply to all medications and is something to consider. Its possible that the other solutions might work with other medications as well if they are cost prohibitive. 


Edit:  Looks like the patent does expire on July 2 2018. So perhaps there is hope for a generic sooner than later.",3.8885248478701833,5.964547792647064,4.478590263691687,83.83529411764708,73.27941176470588,7.395537525354968,25.988843813387426,8.216663640201805,1.6812758620689654,2809,97,533,46,58,893,291,680,0.073,0.84,0.086,0.9015,2,2,4,0,0,0,87.0,0,11,10,9,32,28,0,0,35,0,61,5,0,5,7,101,93,46,0,15,21,0,0,3,0,12,5,5,0,0,46,29,0,6,8,1,19,8,10,4,1,4,27,12,62,26,102,50,16,64,0,3,3,0,45,31,0,24,21,382,108,11,0.0727243522497346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532049641363944,0.0,0.11631527643905595,0.06051248689817136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22877347286079136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798745228757454,0.0,0.0,0.055920537873682515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18564920208865165,0.0,0.0,0.06431877968309094,0.0793961572146143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3712984735850453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264559000892123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612895527402473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06263737802865918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364157073450427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686743203118774,0.0,0.06075186451959424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06127340334599452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329374808870602,0.061859296872371676,0.0,0.07973849855306674,0.0,0.0,0.3039637797083146,0.0,0.04133092531687944,0.060997736283555135,0.1163286159802472,0.08017885509484944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14623680104833187,0.0,0.0,0.1444633820887326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06464074576170797,0.0,0.1514624434865208,0.0,0.1185601069470577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10658833518089253,0.07288890632708378,0.0,0.0,0.12214027958726205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04854406984054792,0.0737310786427922,0.0,0.0,0.08078036081780947,0.2197864017051314,0.0,0.231447135608638,0.0,0.0,0.058047884134946486,0.0,0.10692153334954324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07744906167987042,0.04927990320544965,0.11062029394148834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06942362315435276,0.05041790900005785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874801946400318,0.08198578012685931,0.1392996531750357,0.0,0.07840915191317678,0.06958738346469144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274403249227904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062106199462163565,0.0,0.1734999715522628,0.0,0.0,0.057951893089411885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06161910766175699,0.11197351870446573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07751448321525295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20562552401405512,0.0,0.0,0.05845307958883435,0.12712857864369367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042406154630568994,0.0,0.06893418249743646,0.13898247021653948,0.0,0.09875012285142623,0.0,0.07104112488631012,0.0,0.0874784414431132,0.06281049051928728,0.0,0.0,0.042894707179888664,0.1154504115517525,0.0,0.0,0.06538792651610645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05294419458066176,0.0,0.0,0.051661293274610914,0.0,0.0,0.04683209848728117
bipolarreddit,devilsandgods,2018/02/08,"Fighting voices Sigh. I use this account strictly for mental health stuff. Anyway, I’ve been rediagnosed with schizoaffective disorder (am I still welcome here?!) and lately have been struggling to keep my head above water. It really is a constant battle. A struggle. A fight for mental clarity and - literally - mental quiet. 

Idk really. I’m appreciative of this sub, of this great community. But I often feel as if I’m a burden or major stain - at least that’s what I’m being told in my head by different voices. I want to beat this, though. Down but not out. I hope anyone reading who is experiencing the same sorta stuff or is really struggling that we can get on top of things. Keep on rocking, champions.",2.8855000000000004,5.841043915384617,4.643365384615387,76.24350961538464,82.92307692307692,7.25,23.509615384615394,8.278499904357787,2.1248846153846155,559,20,91,13,16,188,92,130,0.154,0.713,0.133,-0.2278,1,0,0,0,3,0,24.0,1,0,0,2,5,11,3,3,5,0,9,4,2,1,0,20,20,9,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,12,5,1,2,1,2,1,0,1,7,1,0,3,5,8,3,16,16,3,10,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,6,3,65,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993513390162798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354681368070364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14845187605746038,0.1628453311877342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07184403850580474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423519451725294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566526882867017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916468710782222,0.15103306035851918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411255943753347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525889546427126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028162345068786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4295743106865604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14212660224756346,0.0,0.2730759240550485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347178107184515,0.0,0.0,0.44562415876263933,0.32531387760821745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09439705402201,0.0,0.13960088710940388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13577131750254914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271854194990635,0.0,0.0,0.0838072729406197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,arsvitabrev,2018/02/08,"Manic or depressive affected decision? I accepted a marriage proposal and was so sure and excited about it until my mood calms and turns more to the depressive side. I am doubting myself so much! My relationship looks like a dream when I am in a good mood or manic, and then not when my mood goes to normal (?) (or normal- depressive) or depressive.",5.208281249999999,7.152674515625002,6.5488750000000024,70.90862500000003,69.46875,11.37,33.1125,11.20814326018867,4.572816250000002,275,13,46,10,5,93,42,64,0.153,0.611,0.235,0.7436,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,5,14,0,1,4,0,3,0,0,1,1,16,5,14,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,1,7,6,5,4,2,6,0,4,1,0,2,2,0,5,5,36,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7496440738833572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825052108037838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630409020964283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827218420867532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15995459973063825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4263864376398736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336115633766663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20507717112851298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23667678912512705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,metalmailbox,2018/02/08,"The Calm After the Storm A year and a half ago I had a long pyschotic episode followed by a BP diagnosis and several months of depression. I had to take a year off of college but I’ve now been back at school for almost a year. With everything that’s happened— the medications, the extreme emotion levels, the social isolation for an extended time— I’ve found myself at an interesting place. 
Anyone else find themselves constantly having to maneuver through conversation just to avoid a long, intense topic about your past? Specifically related to your bipolar?

-CH",7.284657142857142,9.057803980000003,7.445428571428575,67.12700000000001,64.2,10.914285714285716,38.285714285714285,10.914260884657429,4.8528714285714285,458,24,70,13,7,148,73,100,0.093,0.8390000000000001,0.068,-0.5283,1,2,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,0,4,4,0,1,14,0,4,2,0,0,0,9,7,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,4,0,5,2,16,3,0,18,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,1,12,47,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17588193227972942,0.0,0.1986828391677482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13873559767125404,0.20329846668167145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15256802572730666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21441491556564204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17089358339425048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657493361373659,0.2231889082932293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.178321600801213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813466909949512,0.0,0.0,0.21755057732422986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3511800786974689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19988110906948045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583720653782228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894084986704123,0.0,0.0,0.2073002734958196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20080543853600016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241512072017937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20225796296935974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14918254422725316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569672854877247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3833160988013625
bipolarreddit,HardTimePickingName,2018/02/08,"roommate possible BP with Manic episodes? Long Story short, good friend of mine we were friends/roommates for 4 years on and off while we were in different states. He always seemed san while like everyone had his bugs. During few weeks when he used quiet a bit of LSD, some DMT he changed...
First couple days he was hyped up with some grandiose ideas.....from whats you would explain with ambitions up to thinking can control internet, has allergy for wifi and stuff like that.... After couple days of bad sleep, some weed it would get worse and come back again. At some point he would come up to me (fell asleep at tv) as says you and your dog have to go.... and one time i was able to explain him thats is was delusion... Another time he became violent and almost attacked me with a knife which is another story. 
It seemed to calm down after that and even he acknowledged the irrationality of his behavior. 
Today i was on the edge. He txted me and asked whether i saw hi wallet? Is looking in kitchen, replied - no, not here. To which he demanded that i look better and then said that i should go for a walk and find his wallet. I was tired of this shit and started getting dog for a walk, and putting shoes on. He became violent saying everything here is his and shit like that. Started grabbing dog, who started to bite him, to which he went manic saying - see he bites me, ill sue you for 1 mil $$ and again tries to take my shit away. I fought him off and went for a walk with dog, he followed me and started grabbing, attacking me to take my dog or what not. At that point we were 500 yards from house on street... he was saying like stop resisting you know what im capable off, there are cars driving beside - somebody can die.... at that point a moto -cop drove by and stopped, long story short they let us go. I didn't try to press charges.... but what can i do? Lately his sleep is better, but in 1 minute there can be a change in mood, and sometimes with delusional thought and all kind of stuff going on. I myself have been sleep depraved last 14 days... trying to manage my life... and his.... and im not a nanny. 
 I can't move out for another month or two? He himself doesn't have family here in states, but basically isn't self sustainable and im afraid of him being so unstable....


Anything i can do? Do you think it sounds like he could be BP?  Im thinking of contacting his parents for any advice... but as i said they are overseas.

",2.8874056269608346,4.701686367219921,3.5367867624734366,90.64446968930271,75.36929460580913,6.777127821070742,24.411699220726646,7.590005382236693,1.035557271531221,1887,61,398,25,41,594,241,482,0.07200000000000001,0.878,0.05,-0.7791,3,0,0,0,0,0,95.0,4,6,2,4,11,22,8,1,10,0,43,12,8,2,1,70,79,36,1,5,10,1,3,5,1,4,3,8,2,1,22,34,1,3,11,2,0,18,8,10,0,3,20,15,48,11,63,50,7,78,0,0,4,0,56,29,3,9,34,242,70,1,0.07217729864424657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705308208864952,0.0,0.0,0.07227513860302492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06005729447485469,0.0,0.0,0.04908303814312071,0.22705257264928114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05939576687980624,0.0,0.0674760310132517,0.1642241941219574,0.06781294800765109,0.055499887418666065,0.06026502952016743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12766991044975298,0.07879891636306298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15270802319469448,0.12434870353445986,0.0,0.0,0.08095297778979832,0.057627699847187186,0.15972561623139578,0.0,0.13964515963980748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07490864066687687,0.07540991492831177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047672425034209084,0.0,0.0,0.0689685019447587,0.06486830200236574,0.0,0.06804233354671718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596874335882573,0.061393973355006036,0.0,0.0,0.055764001889014335,0.0,0.07541931906695347,0.0,0.16408008858410125,0.0605388936740543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08328291192584494,0.0,0.0,0.3118554728896734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07516154959602153,0.039666755735447166,0.05883413177078401,0.08141913669255141,0.0,0.0,0.07380617802533927,0.05098096056874272,0.17631091150700506,0.0,0.0,0.12774927602605404,0.1212215050879846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057611231166241776,0.0767130458676424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04890920552451238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014434853702204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20469263095039564,0.08136905938298619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255812064112159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13731427889151468,0.2295931394661849,0.0,0.0,0.057515962193106986,0.13141500379193274,0.07529666376987526,0.0,0.2222668795280017,0.0,0.0,0.21668827267838614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138519392790738,0.0,0.20434985389966032,0.0,0.0,0.12068690710416688,0.0,0.0,0.16525147736051166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853669200965264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13874489573894744,0.0,0.057300712841037424,0.08417432654784075,0.08295718708200432,0.06841563964473296,0.0,0.0,0.14701094381138555,0.0,0.07050673300374614,0.0,0.08682040331264497,0.06233801184827688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05789627530487471,0.0,0.0,0.1338181579132569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07355483359762031,0.1538180462670208,0.0,0.0,0.04647981390120387
bipolarreddit,keepcalmandhydrate,2018/02/08,"Surgery tomorrow I’m having a day surgery tomorrow. It isn’t huge deal. What’s worrying me is that they’re putting me under and I’ve had a problem with emergence delirium in one form or another with all of my previous surgeries. It ranges from crying to flailing and trying to tear out my IV. 

I know that I should tell the PACU team that it has happened before... I just don’t want to. I’m terrified of waking up in restraints for obvious reasons. I figure I’m more likely to lose it if I wake up confused and then realize I’m strapped in. Chemical restraints aren’t easing my anxiety either. 

So, of course I’m trying to put it out of my mind. That said, my anxiety is so bad that my skin is tingling and I’m nauseous. I’ll decide what I want to do tomorrow. I just wish I didn’t have to deal with it. What would ya’ll do? Warn someone ahead of time and risk the restraints or roll the dice and see if the ED stays at a minimum? 

",1.7705411629245802,3.7100770414507807,3.6320811744386887,88.11982009211285,79.1036269430052,7.190443293033968,26.784398388025327,8.167268648758528,1.7954239493379385,731,31,154,14,18,246,109,193,0.15,0.8,0.05,-0.9579,1,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,3,4,6,0,2,7,0,15,5,3,1,2,33,28,13,0,8,7,0,1,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,14,11,0,0,5,1,0,2,4,5,0,1,3,4,16,1,27,23,4,20,0,1,1,0,5,10,0,5,8,99,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871427168377232,0.2730601084863912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901607882854478,0.0,0.0,0.15186592931063658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19604234015710234,0.11509922245452205,0.3679921425609525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15782157914573558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980831577883479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719206112283824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19966373093652348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802051342291653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093677019511374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17077292882381298,0.0,0.3588258965836941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18349821838841746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16976707362878835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14221851751021627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512181513800902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902266569866026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15599178063080718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10406804891711817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423405919494889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21053399083085947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20523318452806014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18124626601745766,0.0,0.1267808892945042,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,joojoobar,2018/02/08,"Started Trileptal. Any thoughts on how to manage side effects? Hi! I was recently diagnosed with bipolar. I was previously on Lamictal, but I got hives on my feet and elbows that started spreading. So, my psychiatrist changed me to Trileptal 300 mg morning and night. 

I was wondering, how do y'all deal with the side effects? What are the side effects you've experienced?

I know that I should be thankful that mood stabilizers are working, but I really don't know how to cope with how tired I feel. And I'm afraid of the acne side effect. Skincare is one of the only hobbies I really enjoy and it makes me super sad that something that helps me feel stable could interfere with the hobbies I care about.  ",3.6644230769230752,6.27466396212121,4.6396969696969705,79.88339160839163,76.04545454545455,7.394871794871796,30.60839160839161,8.384062270229773,2.6852230769230765,561,27,97,11,13,182,81,132,0.055,0.7609999999999999,0.183,0.966,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,1,0,6,6,7,0,1,5,0,11,5,2,9,0,28,24,11,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,7,8,0,1,10,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,5,3,16,4,13,16,0,11,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,1,4,64,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14927541618303922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223806707094964,0.0,0.2322141678598614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17526215172900442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263068221052711,0.0,0.2227996545253824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22198332229503615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755634802383819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471339991719805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241275670579888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14652569833013074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20599676759354585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14874674197152685,0.1669484642769083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.281249505276762,0.0,0.21674122409866367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689907549629198,0.0,0.0,0.31074288228519564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20209679006242345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17426769166141196,0.0,0.2522962941073781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380509677530297,0.15980706003718595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Redrahlooo,2018/02/09,"Medicaid Work Requirement For those of you like me are in Kentucky, unable to work, and on Medicaid, I found this today, “For the sake of illustration, it is useful to look at the examples provided by Iowa Medicaid in its November 2013 final definition5 of medically frail which emphasized medical diagnoses and degrees of severity.  For example, the definition specifies that individuals diagnosed with “psychotic disorder; schizophrenia; schizoaffective disorder; major depression; bipolar disorder; delusional disorder; or obsessive-compulsive disorder” will be considered as having disabling mental disorders” https://nationaldisabilitynavigator.org/ndnrc-materials/fact-sheets/fact-sheet-8/

Granted it’s Iowa’s definition, but we should be okay. ",20.884300000000003,20.235161630000007,18.822000000000006,4.6460000000000425,37.7,23.6,65.0,19.78447435784618,13.3389,633,40,53,34,4,209,78,100,0.129,0.8,0.071,-0.6249,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,1,0,3,0,3,0,0,3,1,7,5,0,1,0,10,10,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,5,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,2,16,5,1,6,0,1,1,0,2,4,0,1,3,41,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633249481979283,0.2506105365662741,0.0,0.0,0.8489478133615066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13524004267151227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13536316096201584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06031437859828101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367196915999807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487379171595045,0.12441463765844035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947016971169046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170218778947223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10662636859919228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17975491545672634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ProntoSancho,2018/02/09,"I'm new to Seroquel. What can I expect? Hello, I am seeking some insight into the short and long-term affects of Seroquel. I'm being treated for anxiety, depression and mood swings following a traumatic brain injury to the front right forehead. Anyway, I saw (for the first time) a new doctor and she prescribed 50mg Seroquel to take at night for bipolar and to help me sleep. Well I cant say what its doing for bipolar but it is making me sleep like a rock. I mean knocks me completely out 0.5-1hr  after taking it and then I'm sleeping for 10-12hrs before waking up or coming to at all. Is this a normal reaction to the early stages of starting this medicine or what? Thanks for taking the time to read this and double thanks for any replies. Life is Great.",2.5031096196868035,4.897863114093962,3.489369127516781,87.73790156599554,78.93288590604027,5.584071588366891,24.02729306487696,6.742157984588678,0.935047964205816,600,21,112,6,15,192,96,149,0.053,0.812,0.135,0.9372,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,1,2,8,0,0,9,0,8,10,6,2,1,20,22,10,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,9,9,0,0,2,2,0,3,1,1,1,1,1,2,9,6,22,20,3,21,0,1,1,0,4,7,0,3,11,73,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107142138738374,0.0,0.12052839673395745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406686959721756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17588239647114182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135718840459485,0.16519239605008612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13570104957526016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16126321918890624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340153719034612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17370386712444374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560514085645728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128506622480476,0.07697293752147374,0.0,0.0,0.13943035286242442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516853411397653,0.0,0.0,0.1716225201373161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3043333153571036,0.0,0.14785377805345545,0.15436949114438034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15759665985735394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134550275209316,0.0,0.1252932832434729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4730034213976258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11151754876013367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3553830534978475,0.0,0.0,0.2901091535782093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837420362386831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14165998860497914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Peachy96_,2018/02/09,"I’m new I’m new to this subreddit but I’m very grateful to be here ! I’m 21, I got diagnosed as manic depression (type 2) in October. Previously I was missed diagnosed with depression and general anxiety. I’ve been on and off the same medication since I was 16. It’s currently not working so I’ve had to take a break again to try something new. I’m currently coming out of this depression part of my cycle. Usually the hypomania comes next because I’m so stressed out about how hard I fucked up whatever happened in the 3/4 weeks of depression. I struggle a lot with trying to cope self harm. I use to cut for almost two years when I was in high school, which was be main reason I got on medication to begin with. Throughout the years (16-21) I’ve gone on a few binders. When I was younger it was MDMA & alcohol, when I became older it was alcohol. But was all stopped by the fact that I was pregnant. My kids have been the only reason why I haven’t slipped back into drugs or alcohol. I’m currently in outpatient treatment, I guess you would call it that. I go see two doctors to talk and sort out my feelings and try and find a program fitting for me. This has been the hardest fight of my life. I thought this was over but after I had my son it creeped right back for revenge. I had him in 2016 and I’ve basically missed half of his life because I don’t remember from being so depressed or my anxiety.  I’m in this place in my life now where I don’t even know where I am at everyday waking up. I feel like I don’t have a path anymore. I’ve lost focus in my career right now, I’m trying to pull myself back into this but I can’t. I’m mentally so exhausted I just feel useless. I fight so hard everyday to keep myself alive and calm, and then my two kids all alone. I choose to put myself here and I constantly wish I didn’t. I wish I could have given them a better start, or a better life currently. I have a job interview Wednesday, on Valentine’s Day. This is the first job I’ve gone to since October when I tried to kill myself. I left a job after one orientation because it was a trigger to me basically. I had to hold myself back from saying things, or doing things to this crazy woman who I found out lied about having cancer. I hold hope for this job, I hope this can change my routine into something healthy and I can actually enjoy going to work again. I miss life, I miss being able to enjoy life, I just miss me. 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bipolarreddit,mechanical_meat,2018/02/09,"My date told me: ""I can't pursue this because I am not capable of handling mood disorder. So sorry."" This was several days after a very nice meal was shared and it came up that one of her past boyfriends has bipolar and is/was an addict to a couple of things.  

I am not an addict and I felt that she unfairly lumped me in with him.  

It's no great loss as this was only the first date, and I suppose I should be glad that it ended as swiftly as it did.  

Just felt like getting that off my chest; thank you for reading.",3.6415079365079386,3.949841722222224,4.740105820105821,88.55833333333334,71.59259259259258,7.652910052910053,26.539682539682538,7.447530270364453,1.1677126984126986,398,12,89,4,7,131,76,108,0.081,0.7490000000000001,0.17,0.8862,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,2,2,8,0,0,5,0,10,6,1,0,0,12,16,8,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,12,6,1,0,2,1,0,1,4,1,0,2,8,2,14,6,13,6,0,11,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,0,8,65,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4389521413622979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12272702788467528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23026437382453266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22276441875590128,0.0,0.1298392144946468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307381039379092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17831590298952474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3866108501752412,0.0,0.0,0.1712485838180159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518501146726764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22196365108177227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09835816858651393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13642433815621546,0.15311820241100507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19218933531086407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201381411935808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2274421254782376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22536901526690084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853547880264791,0.0,0.0,0.13375266643200862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923765092999468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16611580191948028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MadFaithlessness,2018/02/09,"My college is keeping tabs on me and it's making me anxious... I'm a business student at a local college. Last semester  I found out, that one of my classmates or professors had anonymously reported me to the school for strange behavior of some kind (my meds give me hypoglycemia which can make me slur words or seem tired).

Since getting that email, I've never had social anxiety so badly. It feels like I'm one careless comment away from a hospital stay. I dont know who reported me or even why. I suspect everyone but simultaneously feel like it's all in my imagination. I had to leave class today because I felt everybody's eyes on me. It feels like the well is poisoned. I'm not sure exactly what to do at this point.

",4.11972920696325,5.7856821205673805,5.477176015473892,78.62454545454548,71.76595744680851,9.098903932946486,32.67633784655061,9.573946990214177,3.2603985815602834,573,28,108,14,11,192,96,141,0.108,0.7909999999999999,0.101,0.0182,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,3,9,1,0,5,0,8,3,1,2,4,25,23,6,0,0,5,0,4,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,10,2,0,1,9,0,0,0,3,3,1,2,5,5,16,6,14,18,2,13,0,0,1,0,5,9,0,5,6,67,26,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306404640791012,0.1817357399809012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114135465751138,0.0,0.1343185699451576,0.09806401158703676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18853681294748814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625219978146468,0.0,0.0,0.15371685082108416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24402000847874955,0.34477370159036635,0.15445909326055254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17638412769152728,0.0,0.0,0.0840472091689652,0.1543198293121931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14298741212089386,0.0,0.1675199022879629,0.08840918103203046,0.13112938807691332,0.0,0.17033663049972705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23577683131896385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147620928107459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17868876058625213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12407178934250025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180174670289634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207283387218948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16280762178396752,0.0,0.14644874083039222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13307217664307688,0.0,0.0,0.16398528933272755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714645341143822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15161676121518175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18489480257864752,0.15248463249965782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14464020002114208,0.0,0.145158899101406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,WiseGoldMan,2018/02/09,"Best jobs/majors for those with bipolar? Im so lost as to what I want career wise.

Edit: right now I'm a Environmental Control major (HVAC). It's okay but I seem to overthink and zone out a lot in class so I'm in fear of not passing. ",-1.1636134453781537,0.8906120784313742,1.8278991596638683,94.93411764705887,94.88235294117644,3.698599439775911,17.089635854341733,5.288315135182226,-0.6987893557422975,180,5,42,1,7,63,42,51,0.134,0.721,0.145,-0.3487,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,3,5,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,9,5,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,3,9,4,3,7,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,2,1,24,5,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3575922705706071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38217600430548815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3834343753997049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3680645289517484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3719648914492531,0.28969036045113644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909955199744793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102026783091394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20098102489058495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,toobadimnotamermaid,2018/02/09,"Happiness or Anxiety or Hypomania? Hey fellow bipolar people! I have a question...how can you tell if you’re just in a really good mood or if you are going into hypomania? 

The two times I was manic I was having lots and lots of irritability and insomnia and a ton of anxiety. My doctor suggested those were manic episodes based on what I could remember. 

Now, whenever I’m feeling particularly good, I’m constantly worried that I’m not actually happy, but instead, hypomanic. 

For example, I had a good day at work. I got a project done and I got to socialize with my favorite people. Usually work can be a somewhat dramatic place, but those people were out today. I’m home now and I’m feeling good, as in not tired or socially exhausted, which is funny because I’m typically an introvert, but mostly around people I don’t know. 

I also have a tremor....which is usually a sign of anxiety or that I’m really hungry. Big anxiety attacks have resulting in my legs shaking uncontrollably. Can happiness cause anxiety? I don’t feel anxious that often around other people. Maybe I just have low blood sugar? 

I’m on Lamotrigine and Effexor and I take Hydroxyzine at night to sleep, if that makes a difference at all. I’ve been sleeping throughout the night this week, which I think is a good sign.

Any thoughts? I’m going to ask my therapist too next week. ",3.2558461538461536,5.877827925490196,5.541666666666664,72.80019230769231,77.58823529411767,9.570135746606336,29.80769230769231,9.851270322608157,3.7439049773755664,1071,51,183,36,26,374,141,255,0.121,0.7290000000000001,0.151,0.9297,0,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,2,0,2,10,14,1,2,13,0,23,10,4,3,1,46,45,20,0,4,15,0,3,0,1,0,5,0,1,0,11,12,1,0,7,0,0,3,4,5,0,1,10,4,19,8,21,33,6,31,0,1,0,0,9,15,0,13,13,122,30,4,0.0,0.0,0.0899729583685666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373153504385756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06269850549485986,0.0,0.35266004738638296,0.10415866622982173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16415337710570374,0.08619365184607355,0.10488971268975544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05620367602500727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947138064214927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963440261551444,0.0,0.07361342720858872,0.0,0.0,0.0594607501915214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09632836809557477,0.0,0.09436961921325816,0.0,0.09435162370934437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398558072243105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479767272850887,0.3866608813626812,0.1474799817931922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2944427618341482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09248314963628528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05067017846756442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567686451147152,0.0,0.0,0.0615435718539548,0.0,0.09262632313168208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980547197841251,0.17304509737960175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31959600992080645,0.0,0.09632836809557477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328402003139996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11813012552850115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444353361928327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18453124024341666,0.18797061073406168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06932220006958649,0.0,0.08058602049795703,0.0,0.0,0.1070501859693042,0.0,0.059077418846177565,0.0,0.0731957351223318,0.05376199880085876,0.10596922779989236,0.08739390470679023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006506023057942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20308842272080166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791300916418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13424399124867212,0.09363259557264428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Untouchable-joy,2018/02/10,"Who is not excited about doing their taxes? I done messed up and said to my husband “Oh, dang, the government shut down again? I was going to do our taxes today. Darn.” Then he informed me it had already opened again. Dang it. My concentration is AWFUL right now. Short term memory isn’t great either. Hah, dug myself a hole. ",0.7379032258064555,3.230966983870972,2.4344516129032283,88.65167741935484,96.90322580645164,5.060645161290323,15.877419354838713,6.742157984588678,0.1863174193548387,251,6,47,4,10,82,53,62,0.128,0.81,0.062,-0.5313,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,2,2,8,0,0,0,0,5,10,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,2,1,0,0,4,1,8,2,5,6,2,13,0,0,0,0,7,6,3,0,6,33,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4383992812427375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40654695447238426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22577870421613844,0.0,0.0,0.43799353317298095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3392679242201643,0.37789643126147937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3765671898498186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Em-aline,2018/02/10,"Body of an 80 year old ( joint pains why?) So on a cocktail of meds to keep me stable apparently trying to kill your self or thinking others/hallucinations are trying to kill you is not convenient for living. On lithium 250mg , quetiapin ( which can go burn in hell) 150mg and now most recently lamotragine 200mg (lamictal) grand less of a unstable mess , bar the mega weight gain it's going pretty well, but now I'm having sever joint pain, crunchy old lady joint pain, at first it thought I'd just wankered my legs doing a 15km run but now it's my knees elbows fingers ankles and hips. Anyone had this and is there an easy fix that isn't putting myself down. Small grimaces of pain every step I take is making people around me extra uncomfortable. 
Thanks 😊


Seeing my doctor in 9 days but not going enjoy these 9 days ",2.9788333333333306,5.2387850500000015,4.057500000000001,84.97083333333336,76.625,6.5166666666666675,21.916666666666664,7.554174236665415,0.9422166666666664,648,18,123,9,15,210,120,160,0.196,0.7070000000000001,0.097,-0.9616,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,2,8,12,3,0,6,0,9,13,6,1,0,16,20,8,2,0,7,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,7,4,3,1,2,2,0,6,3,8,1,1,2,3,9,4,15,18,3,24,1,0,1,0,3,8,2,2,10,66,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467057167769972,0.0,0.0,0.1205292872917476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503921144027865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746357453932076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385814065639762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407521076369433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516599279728162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308424418646109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12034433039488175,0.2995866077844765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955530525940965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903764879374862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503921144027865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841462708996761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5762746754763639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386509123656073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377442839916659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610827810118167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368515453975374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10789141874493084,0.0,0.14124537904132425,0.1529565827677781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10179937221154954,0.0,0.0,0.12465252387420575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675495215649054,0.0,0.10748764286962267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18384715818063907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648733100794254,0.1217353874829838,0.0,0.12217194684555215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718924057923941
bipolarreddit,reallynotapolitician,2018/02/10,"Medicated Type 1: Hypomanic and scared. Help! Hey all,

Diagnosed with type 1 after mania and hospitalization two years ago. Been on medication ever since. Settled into something about 6 months ago. Felt pretty stable, but I was triggered one week ago by a really stressful work event. Couldn’t tell if I was just normally stressed or if it was hypomania. Now, two weeks later, work settled down and I’m still experiencing the symptoms. 

I have three days until my next doctors appointment. What can I do? 

I really don’t want another full blown manic episode.

Thanks for any advice.",4.079530744336574,7.240006718446603,5.171092233009709,73.27631472491909,78.90291262135922,8.093527508090615,27.02993527508091,8.841846274778883,2.857706148867314,464,19,74,12,12,152,83,103,0.094,0.7959999999999999,0.11,-0.2415,0,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,5,4,0,3,2,0,9,5,0,1,2,17,13,8,0,5,5,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,4,5,2,6,1,9,7,2,20,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,3,16,45,8,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14677361973436415,0.3994294894252388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10214109357126573,0.15749770827784595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686652020162986,0.0,0.0,0.1524497532307562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15373597871701014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358644232846783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14421547401695547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067583773145987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.302621227420506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988814009736815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15973931482937254,0.0,0.1471640273863561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177935040224594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15280731259107636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924438247763528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503763186749816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12424692278023745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563123357285687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11994984707576485,0.0,0.3441069930040004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15611522342302087,0.0,0.0,0.13128134706324973,0.13828390281563216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934469863964294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885918021036378,0.0,0.24096262566712345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21869465569055574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967238215168079
bipolarreddit,TheVilleGirl,2018/02/11,Weighted blanket I posted this in the anxiety and insomnia subreddit but I thought Id ask here. Anyone tried a weighted blanket to help with sleep or anxiety? Did it work?,2.081875,4.933040937500003,3.8685000000000014,78.7265,92.75,7.56,34.525,8.238735603445708,4.013517500000002,138,9,22,4,5,46,27,32,0.105,0.774,0.121,0.3632,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,4,1,0,0,5,3,3,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,14,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4145062664867755,0.0,0.0,0.1894336315579065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25327371987811714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18159203077612726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594665644194233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711157530118135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21508029555068475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839369627149037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6598153855381309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972330578100772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rachaelmc7,2018/02/11,"Abilify maintena not covered by insurance? Advice please. Hello. I am trying to help a friend who has issues with regularly taking pills and therefore never manages to take them long enough for them to start working. Remembers a few days here and there only. 

I found out about ability maintena but it’s very expensive and insurance doesn’t cover it. Have the most expensive “platinum coverage” health insurance plan here in California. 

Do your insurance providers cover it? Did you have to go through a special process to get it covered? 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

He can’t afford $2000 per injection, but really needs a monthly treatment since daily pill use has failed for years. ",5.2168213604577245,8.475899925619835,5.691239669421487,70.83727908455181,74.53719008264463,9.342911633820725,33.27463445645264,9.661875296680813,4.292320534011444,565,29,82,17,13,181,93,121,0.036000000000000004,0.8340000000000001,0.13,0.8683,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,2,3,4,4,0,0,5,0,11,3,0,2,1,16,19,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,2,0,2,1,4,1,0,0,2,0,6,3,13,15,3,9,0,1,0,0,9,2,0,1,6,53,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3918940554621327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636131432005769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931960630604186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071920359587424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198611815611025,0.15492220687642844,0.0,0.10476406781407607,0.0,0.1139608374884971,0.0,0.0,0.2210753668209375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21314469343634546,0.0,0.0,0.1344051553918036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20929206976113174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17745498079757813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600541347607362,0.0,0.0,0.14868395316232058,0.1546543363071135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525054332094438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22011209797618111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12845903622998167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271514672343217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16587323571893042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419299604968267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015340234488291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614075436201944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17318596299894606,0.0,0.16545101716034574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459818455141645,0.0,0.0,0.14244453038918872,0.0,0.0,0.1291290994342852
bipolarreddit,FullOfHotAir,2018/02/11,"Experiences with Lamictal and hypomania? Experiences getting off Lamictal? Hi! This is my first time posting here. If I may, do any of you have experiences with what I put in my title?


Here's some (not super necessary for answering my questions) background:

I have a diagnosis of Bipolar type 2. While for many reasons I still believe this to be accurate, I've been questioning the role that Lamictal has played in my illness and diagnosis.

While I had had many sort of hypo-hypomanic periods before, and had actually been diagnosed before at age 13, my first full blown, classically symptomatic hypomanic episode coincided with starting and then increasing my dose of Lamictal. This particular episode was used as a part of my diagnosis. (I started Lamictal due to a severe upswing in my depression and history of not responding to antidepressants.) The hypomania eventually faded back into my more typical depressions and general emotional static. This was then further complicated by the addition of other meds that I did not do well with at all. It's a bit of a tangle, so attempting to determine if there's any sort of clear chain of cause and effect is difficult.

I've never had any other side effects, but I've also never really felt any steadier on Lamictal. Lithium is what eventually became a total godsend for me.

All of this is to say that I don't know if Lamictal has actually done anything positive for me. Yet I've been kept on it ever since and I'm questioning if this is only because I haven't had any side effects to complain about. If this is true, is there really any point to continuing to take it long term? If I don't have to spend the money every month and continue to risk the known short term and unknown long term side effects, I'd rather not.



So, has anyone else experienced hypomania that coincided with starting or increasing Lamictal? Has anyone gone through getting off of it? What is the process of doing that like?

I am, of course, not going to change anything without talking to my pdoc. I'd just like to hear from some other people with personal insight.

Thank you!",6.397751736111113,7.980997507812503,7.687395833333331,65.27913194444444,66.109375,11.62638888888889,36.87847222222222,11.429527900616536,5.006002430555556,1689,87,271,57,27,577,192,384,0.052000000000000005,0.865,0.083,0.9524,0,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,2,0,8,15,12,0,1,12,0,36,4,0,7,8,64,51,26,0,7,16,0,1,2,0,1,4,2,0,1,22,18,0,1,13,1,2,5,11,5,1,2,15,4,25,7,53,34,14,51,0,2,0,0,13,17,0,15,30,201,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.19125542459612727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07836552391203691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3998344449508985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13703894251315904,0.10040612271199194,0.16128092569421076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535110403507718,0.0,0.0597360480134071,0.0,0.16677083676853707,0.11040533921080023,0.0,0.0,0.1069837367404738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066652020073276,0.10366433769435353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16880365489271154,0.0994615394821342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028157449232586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08186115938443501,0.11022971928821658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08864090898390621,0.08256391597191975,0.0,0.0,0.28756991690547695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408931637403453,0.0,0.0,0.16670677684452154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239532405533083,0.0,0.05569207614656838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104460182377261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05385477299455597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574954078926982,0.0,0.0,0.1734426759396902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19870045563514294,0.0,0.0,0.10884890602667938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782176338566112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511575601553847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452862216744446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611762419835052,0.0,0.06793649079120054,0.08556431623653896,0.0,0.0,0.09263571782051032,0.0,0.09385087355697737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851073130609676,0.3293261019191108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12555454286051634,0.1007538411185582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792852085965678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107049845662879,0.0,0.08106139861659757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20808132885825525,0.0,0.07825789283334325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367906451366844,0.07876362153772781,0.0,0.09021943012804956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05714091263774091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08463509089100567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810810197646368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944624267841643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,snortingalpaca,2018/02/11,"My [21f] Doctors Keep Suggesting Lithium Hello everyone. This is my first time posting on here but I just wanted to say I really love the support community in this subreddit.

Before I go into my questions, here's a bit about my symptoms/meds: I'm diagnosed as Bipolar 1 with rapid cycling. My current doctor has me on a very high dose of Lamictal, Wellbutrin, and Seroquel. Nothing seems to be helping right now, the episodes are staying just as intense (and quick) and I feel like I can't get any relief.

I wanted to ask all of you about your opinions on Lithium. I was seeing one psychiatrist for years that had asked about my opinion on Lithium and I said I didn't want to go on it. She dropped it after that and decided to raise my Lamictal. It helped temporarily. I ended up relocating kind of far away from her, so I decided to see a new doctor. She also asked me about going on Lithium, but I'm still really apprehensive. 

My concerns are centered around the fact that my grandmother actually suffered a Lithium overdose and she's never been the same since then. I'm so paranoid that that will happen. 

Has anyone with rapid cycling had success on Lithium? Does it really do the ""zombifying"" thing people talk about? The event with my grandma happened a few years ago, are doctors more cautious with the blood testing and everything now? 

TL;DR my doctors keep prescribing Lithium but I'm very apprehensive, has it been successful for other people with rapid cycling?",4.600490196078432,7.010262382352941,5.445441176470592,76.20740196078431,72.23529411764707,7.915686274509804,33.02450980392157,8.72156446121922,3.1612568627450965,1176,59,192,23,24,383,155,272,0.052000000000000005,0.8440000000000001,0.104,0.955,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,0,2,0,3,17,10,0,2,12,0,17,10,1,0,3,35,42,16,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,1,8,2,0,0,14,14,0,2,5,0,0,3,3,3,0,2,7,5,30,7,37,33,5,38,0,1,2,1,18,16,0,4,17,139,44,8,0.0,0.0,0.10269088968698313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328148945738107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415369538727921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156111600705982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358040148747026,0.0,0.0,0.0936784598715431,0.295132102598586,0.0,0.09886857910070876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08954436527888418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11488568369882145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068078879396572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5385451546859972,0.09208890734770493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09320398855405683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005533307475944,0.0945754024279546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05320827328630333,0.07517749651151315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950996954551177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054979182677999665,0.0,0.17941667882361725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861119633095516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14106908495124415,0.11118299325304193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18706941323524345,0.0,0.10958254772713426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051410858288247985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949756533455149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116111931491035,0.10163336265977796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009725857724152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130767496802372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459087227730572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078281150789084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788350744258876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20224222770907946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986723586456767,0.10009937661691663,0.08368441476593623,0.0,0.0,0.1677119672485256,0.09579892247094696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704869062708034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216291459388132,0.08403811454817504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194156051053465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458119698051038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991121813703766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06136140889793733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736542287163332,0.18620502305047967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13553143735202067
bipolarreddit,krunchies1104,2018/02/11,"Does anyone else experience anger and frustration when your partner isn't taking the hint that you want to have sex? I by no means ever want to force someone into it if they don't want to, but I find myself becoming extremely frustrated when I'm giving some pretty clear hints without being forceful and he just isn't getting it. I'm not sure if it's the combination of sexual frustration and rejection or what but I become unreasonably angry. I don't say anything because I don't want to sound like an asshole but it's very frustrating. We only have sex once a week, sometimes not, yet we spend the whole weekend together almost every weekend. I can't help but take it personal. Why is my reaction anger? ",4.49225935828877,6.4496003382352995,5.803877005347594,75.47267379679145,71.35294117647058,9.063101604278074,30.010695187165776,9.573946990214177,3.1166117647058824,570,24,98,14,11,191,92,136,0.249,0.631,0.12,-0.9763,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,2,2,1,0,5,9,6,0,5,0,10,2,0,0,3,28,21,12,0,6,11,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,7,6,0,0,2,2,1,0,10,7,0,0,0,2,13,2,8,20,2,8,0,1,0,2,11,1,0,5,8,63,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688036557316514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178716600040656,0.1727251559533591,0.13872297968691286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027618429082191,0.3723560037595247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475212442117889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14082290142561776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524858685362233,0.14203182910743584,0.0,0.0,0.16489883751900142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540746272955168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807355487216427,0.161712638518034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299236537387765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823573001256521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18362775092644132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795270262846548,0.0,0.12820899302910085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14719331318461112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715015249453029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340577203375188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428331721635873,0.0,0.1667251275203963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15888007788075312,0.0,0.2534950571714695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13909214812456175,0.397719949413302,0.0,0.13522081193629076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15211284695353608,0.1882081277144572,0.0,0.16250042285597438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,whydidnt,2018/02/11,"Bipolar and high IQ I don't like to advertise my IQ, generally my peers describe me as a genius on their own.  Family is generally disappointed in me as I'm 'supposed' to be a multi-millionaire by now but I choose to work physical jobs.  Made $200k at 19 years old and then I just... stopped, explored other avenues, particularly women.

A hypomanic episode occurs about every 2 years and everytime it's like an 'upgrade'.  It lasts about 5 months and everytime I shift my focus onto something new.  I'm 26 now, survived 6 episodes, and the current focus is management... I am now an ENTP, previously an INFP, and originally an INTP.  Bipolar is a double-edged sword, the best and worst thing.

My job has helped a lot, paid for therapy and etc.  They're used to it, a lot of people in logistics go nuts.  But I'd really like to control this better.

",3.042592592592591,5.2694000493827176,5.15656790123457,77.3285555555556,76.28395061728395,8.51753086419753,28.701234567901235,9.21078282632365,2.8205130864197527,656,29,122,17,15,227,111,162,0.121,0.7879999999999999,0.09,-0.2669,3,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,1,5,6,7,0,0,12,0,7,2,0,4,0,22,13,13,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,8,0,2,2,0,1,2,1,2,0,0,2,0,12,5,17,10,6,21,0,1,0,0,3,6,0,2,16,75,18,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985096184854651,0.1672948519385501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121567468108966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21096113723391735,0.0,0.0,0.15937374731060194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17832129867015994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075028330052162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678859943077928,0.1998557798818506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754201936214783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15418899142096956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27723908694044785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3216306820072459,0.0,0.17898584404170367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15098408628941978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826899453062633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984894688094121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113831858712016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12117943869302165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14562304606057971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581445321281042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21631862298370366,0.0,0.12566814954755293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16337175181783387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377092543891365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24362306066764566
bipolarreddit,Goddamnporkchop,2018/02/11,"Any advice on Lithium? I have been on various medications for the last twenty-something years. My latest combination is Fluoxetine, Bupropion, Resperidone and some lorazepam for anxiety attacks. I cycled back down into a depression a couple of weeks ago and it got bad enough that I went to see my psych doc. I told her I don’t like the resperidone because, although it works and stops me wanting to actively kill myself, it turns me into a complete zombie. She decided to try me on Litium, which is one of the things I have never tried in all these years. So far I have been on it for almost a week (so I haven’t had my blood work done to check the levels yet) but I am feeling no difference in mood or level of depression.
I’m just wondering what others’ experiences are with Lithium and what it feels like when it is working? 
I have been off work for days now and I am wondering if I should take some risperidone just because i know it works fast.",5.51182971014493,6.332241885869564,6.2302173913043495,77.70536231884059,67.6413043478261,9.611594202898553,31.09420289855073,9.725611199111238,2.9097115942028986,753,29,141,16,12,247,115,184,0.113,0.84,0.047,-0.897,0,0,1,0,0,1,17.0,0,0,0,5,8,8,2,0,8,0,18,2,1,0,2,27,31,12,1,3,5,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,14,8,0,1,6,0,1,1,4,5,0,1,8,3,22,2,22,22,5,29,0,2,1,0,3,13,0,7,17,109,36,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313060875338704,0.11911205750506773,0.0,0.13455345559076748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137709758434044,0.0,0.10279368322986747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15286676191717155,0.0,0.10332324200852563,0.11219442992363572,0.16382300497279892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14088576046553553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486792970978792,0.0,0.0866583777365184,0.0,0.2314676222697951,0.0,0.0,0.14038941793167978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750850134117698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13884148141945074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144092356835047,0.0,0.0,0.1358843419908972,0.09599488965769122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10746901047871138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14866194411536046,0.0,0.07384695705109212,0.10953055074612096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13129406797502927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353649567585777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363543686156616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910534762121752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707653578109616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034455980893966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11234043067437267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103050129383206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927032665781745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12839754364991918,0.0,0.1824585962459314,0.14615739798075686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925567920759018,0.0,0.21556911708998827,0.0,0.0,0.12456354920961807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914399043944758,0.4891195647975578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17306143430518506
bipolarreddit,Rollinginmygrave,2018/02/11,"Can lithium stop working? I am currently on lithium and lamictal. Lithium changed my life and I would never stop taking it. 
Lately my mood has been dipping down and I've been thinking some troubling things. I don't want to end my life but it feels like my brain wants to. I have an amazing life with plenty of supportive family. I have two small children that I would never want to hurt by hurting myself. But the thoughts are there. Constantly now. I use all the DBT and CBT skills I have learned. 
Part of me just wants to die and I don't know why.
How do you deal with this? I'm afraid to speak to anyone because it ends up in hospitalization. Has anyone else on lithium experienced this? It's been a god send of a drug and now I'm sad it'll stop working. I'm hoping it will just pass but it feels so deep.
Anyone else have experience or advice? I feel so lost.",0.8220727272727295,3.2934741085714307,2.2791298701298714,92.89027922077923,87.9142857142857,5.010389610389611,21.097402597402606,6.574015621080383,0.3721428571428573,679,23,143,8,22,219,104,175,0.152,0.736,0.113,-0.6627,1,0,1,0,0,2,18.0,0,1,0,4,8,11,0,1,5,0,19,5,1,2,3,37,37,13,1,7,6,0,3,1,0,4,4,1,0,1,11,8,0,3,7,0,0,2,4,6,0,1,5,5,17,4,17,28,3,21,0,4,0,0,5,7,0,3,13,92,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202900088599196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582190971614187,0.2522570385779656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503944062971721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374181565698749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13022143533982206,0.0,0.0,0.1330252817701397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12690870446598668,0.0,0.0,0.12775636149200806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427546796027466,0.0,0.2056652829838841,0.0,0.2180567043192885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041353266667425,0.11604590450401793,0.0,0.18672624791055145,0.08794128546745462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226415844613905,0.0,0.0,0.2635580588105909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06765147972033353,0.0,0.1388599842028677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26084342085158485,0.06013949884805325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13437608428070355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189881639951594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330321348026833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.308746494277998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969023052303733,0.0,0.0,0.09255442854180178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178088759081201,0.07887627247178987,0.0,0.09772611701798402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202489270804524,0.0,0.0,0.10631720860879404,0.0,0.0,0.2904257230761143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11107686106974417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17923372141563945,0.0,0.0,0.17489067347405332,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Beibi_nugget,2018/02/11,"Bipolar and shrooms Hi just last year I was diagnosed bipolar type II. I'm not really clear on my diagnose since I've never been on a manic state, my psychiatrist says I have hypomania. But the truth is that most of the time I'm really depressed. I get triggered by an ongoing relationship with a friend that used to be my boyfriend but now just see each other from time to time and have sex. We love each other but kind of in a friendly way. This new relationship dinamic that has been going on since December last year, has been a real struggle for me since I really don't want to loose his support and love and sex. It means a lot to me maybe the only thing that keeps me going on. Most of the times we don't talk during the week and I wait for him to talk to me, this makes me very sad and it triggers my depression. 
Not long ago I decided that I wanted to do shrooms. 6 years ago I did them but I was naive and a fool, I did a very low dosage and I was a very different person from now, I didn't get very much insight. 
Now I would like to consult with magic shrooms, 1 gram to start off. 
Last year has been a rollercoaster for the meds. Right now I'm taking 250 mg of lamictal, topamax 25 mg 3 times a day, risperidal 0.5 mg and 200 mg of quietapine. 
I'm really open to all suggestions, I'm hoping this can be an eye opening experience that will help me in the future, maybe help me being so dependant on relationships.
I'm thinking about doing this with a friend we would like to do it on a place with lots of nature. The first time I did it was on the woods and I was really happy and connected to the greenery of the forest. Please let me know your opinions

Edit: please so that you may understand a little bit more about my relationship. I do not feel like I'm in a bad relationship. In fact we have a great dinamic and connection and we understand and love each other. We decided to stop labeling as girlfriend/boyfriend because right now it can bring so much stress in this period of our life's. It my case it was making me enter into a very dependant attitude and he was sucking up all of that energy and getting depressed too. So we decided to break up, stop seeing each other with the same frequency, start acting more like friends, and when we see each other  indulge in sex as a natural and healthy activity and enjoy or spend some time together watching movie, hiking on the nature. So if you see we have been doing this maybe 2 months or so. We see each other every 2 weeks or 1 week. He tells me that this year's that he is focused on creating and expanding his work not really looking for a girlfriend and I do believe him so when he tells me this. I'm really on the same boat with this, I just got a good paying job, I'm painting, eating healthy, taking my meds, exercising a bit, sleeping on time.
He will be travelling on June maybe to Europe 3 months and it will be tough for me but I think that that time will be a deciding period for me to think things over. I will miss him very much but it will make me a tougher woman I'm 28 but sometimes I still feel like a little afraid girl. I'm still very positive that everything will turn all right and that even with him or without him I'm going to be okay. Today I woke up in a good mood. :)",4.441370169610071,4.930091294736844,5.595079559363526,82.49369645042844,69.88721804511277,9.313866060500088,27.79594334673894,9.411308987883313,2.177654659905579,2561,82,538,52,43,854,268,665,0.07,0.7509999999999999,0.179,0.9979,2,0,0,0,0,0,55.0,11,3,1,2,23,36,1,3,40,1,53,15,2,8,7,117,109,46,0,6,20,0,2,5,5,10,6,1,0,3,40,49,1,4,14,2,2,7,9,13,0,1,18,11,65,22,72,73,23,91,0,6,8,6,53,34,1,15,52,353,105,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846134877729314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046371522442682486,0.033855166236391954,0.0,0.0,0.06257178431904263,0.0,0.0,0.12126520961434298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03581711597260726,0.0,0.14350319416227486,0.11273885920740405,0.0,0.058024904166499615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05682876390561351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036682018493513616,0.0,0.04679276907855513,0.0,0.049913555939017334,0.05432636665906918,0.0,0.0,0.05616289345673285,0.07935205309522565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04724019943148621,0.0,0.0,0.17163264902906053,0.0,0.0870482104108496,0.0,0.09468978407654456,0.09316449984388156,0.04441844068995605,0.0612303290915777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059120739389372026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07445127889721417,0.0,0.0,0.055161304164990835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0551124345257448,0.04936431345935545,0.0,0.057833797007472564,0.030521977147611668,0.13581151209218242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05679089295999287,0.03922780385217998,0.13566417298610786,0.11132640186126123,0.0,0.04914897136403283,0.04663754243945163,0.0,0.0,0.09443205349506198,0.15037438269588138,0.0,0.11121520885768628,0.0,0.2231796771509092,0.06049665768238398,0.12337936407696595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865906215417804,0.0,0.12247943674595806,0.0,0.04283397125467195,0.05363849798316925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04223879846021584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048493233925369215,0.058024904166499615,0.12192707301519892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06321387425545519,0.2490513720899377,0.0,0.0,0.29813264459519645,0.0,0.14228625591610847,0.0,0.0441656774426672,0.0,0.0,0.2212811271217916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378236701348274,0.0,0.05557764416929563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05492804282449477,0.0,0.07861950713137775,0.0,0.08870469538219021,0.09286373317789527,0.06361805941699379,0.058059890727305975,0.0,0.0,0.06302333727797628,0.0,0.0,0.08351463011721995,0.08927793482225532,0.0970845081049046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737933417709982,0.1067586309638029,0.0,0.0,0.29145945279709823,0.0,0.052643089939158436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06040889075546641,0.0,0.11563306644458045,0.0,0.04796659917817206,0.0,0.3207699827646902,0.06551495487942338,0.04408311071983613,0.1336465833182386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05353620248117387,0.0,0.04043198738404899,0.0,0.0,0.0789045437168917,0.0,0.0,0.17882176036519698
bipolarreddit,Chunky_clouds,2018/02/11,"Illusion of suppression Does anyone else seem to partially suppress their baseline mood?
I for example can go through the working week just about appearing 'normal' (with great difficulty) and have something as small as music set me off into the manic/depressive side, just to have it set off and start dictating things? ",14.747777777777774,11.41376451851852,12.421481481481482,54.09666666666668,51.96296296296296,16.725925925925928,51.074074074074076,14.554592549557764,7.387918518518517,260,13,37,8,2,80,46,54,0.0,0.92,0.08,0.6662,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,1,3,2,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,11,7,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,12,7,0,11,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,2,2,26,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235875092115617,0.3276375966577383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754136017916604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798289898349334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671230876752999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18173013247290865,0.0,0.0,0.3525426504778109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.313302348772479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29110254942109803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24617114462847275,0.0,0.0,0.2263317038677123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124380244360069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564966382365146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23279313059283716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jubjoe,2018/02/11,bought a new phone when I didn’t need one don’t know what I was thinking. Was going to get my perfectly functional iPhone SE some new accessories but ended up walking out of the store with a 6S instead :/ still don’t feel the pinch yet but im sure I’ll regret this later,5.835789473684213,4.820356087719301,6.311228070175438,83.65526315789475,67.0701754385965,9.705263157894738,29.52631578947368,8.841846274778883,1.9891684210526317,215,6,47,3,3,70,46,57,0.119,0.785,0.097,-0.3071,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,4,0,5,0,0,0,2,12,12,3,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,2,2,3,1,0,1,4,1,3,2,5,8,1,11,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,7,27,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831932518439131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16166930375740865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670500776613553,0.0,0.181714657993155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3453722574655632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17571982107921005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370819159756393,0.0,0.6176105317802192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21666296334422774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553434386976465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.301349586573918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20487540765456602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,yamsareforever,2018/02/12,"Bipolar... pms.. pmdd?? What helps? It seems like I go through the worst time around the same time every month and it correlates with my cycle. I get really panicky, angry, paranoid, anxious, moody etc. I don’t want to take hormonal birth control because I smoke and I know it’s bad for you. Is there anything you do that you can suggest that helps with horrible moods during this time? It’s seriously horrible and borders on ruining my life once every month. 

Side notes: I’ve talked to my psychiatrist about it and she says to talk to my OBGYN, but I know all he will do is put me on the pill.
Currently I take 900mg lithium, 20mg lexapro, 3mg rexulti.",1.9078348214285723,4.390618578125004,3.2788392857142874,87.83937500000002,81.96875,6.7821428571428575,25.549107142857146,7.957251820313856,1.6875138392857134,510,21,102,10,14,166,87,128,0.174,0.775,0.051,-0.9132,1,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,3,0,1,3,7,0,0,3,0,7,4,0,1,1,15,15,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,9,7,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,5,0,0,0,1,16,1,12,14,4,13,0,1,0,0,11,4,0,1,8,57,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123131835824036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15465458452212466,0.16730209473024305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15691796892724072,0.11456350026193808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21078520917568264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20959732890053567,0.0,0.0,0.3166868758024547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818833957346232,0.0,0.10680785543049784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519378888848612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065684458631641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274412789808304,0.09181560302440832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000160276692185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001447613308812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889266961426168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12039604545533344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14945354466559282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710890681194711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28260763165372216,0.3021102492298607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32875942639218325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084899861489468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,union_jane,2018/02/12,"I think I am bipolar and was misdiagnosed with borderline... now what? (UK) Hello.  

To cut a very long story short, I believe I am bipolar, but have been misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder.  My GP says this is likely, and that my treatment so far has been inappropriate because the crisis team are dismissive of people with personality disorders.  So, she has referred me to see the entry-level people who gauge whether I can see a psychiatrist, with a view to be re-diagnosed.  

After that, I am worried about what will happen.  I desperately want some treatment that will work for me, but I've found that BPD is a very ""sticky"" label and professionals often treat me like I am playing the system to try and get sympathy and as if what I say is unreliable.  I am afraid of the psychiatrist thinking I am just shopping for a new diagnosis.  Also I have run into a lot of problems in my health care from being diagnosed BPD, does anyone know if I can have that diagnosis removed if it's found to be incorrect?

Anyone been through this?  

It's my first time here, so apologies if this post is not allowed, I don't think I saw anything in the rules that it violates, but I may have misread.

Many thanks to anyone who comments.",6.088701298701298,7.019135272727276,7.119896103896108,71.44555844155846,66.40259740259741,9.96952380952381,33.581818181818186,10.047579312681364,3.466113766233766,972,42,172,22,15,327,132,231,0.118,0.79,0.092,-0.8069,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,3,9,10,2,1,11,0,30,4,0,1,0,34,44,18,0,6,10,0,0,2,0,3,4,2,0,2,17,10,0,0,7,3,1,2,2,4,0,1,7,6,24,6,23,31,2,15,0,0,4,0,11,5,0,8,8,130,41,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395858287412396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726908508560673,0.0,0.10697648431864627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924498667226497,0.0,0.0,0.14646214346725994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3274534326374267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254064224351225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638885106324976,0.0,0.0,0.29797573177646397,0.0,0.11376128240401714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105754125737894,0.0,0.2850700806933312,0.0,0.0,0.06791808597922129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495594978058797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13818077053399247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144297137355993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701997095653553,0.0,0.0,0.11504328625956252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051883143032404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13179659085453616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12555194761464436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802471534809549,0.22701679556251125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450122616973085,0.0,0.0,0.12438960715014885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20675772175376636,0.0,0.0,0.2071816141400693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196838052706804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24989055521995376,0.0,0.0,0.07580231721058192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0882594543431172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21452233849469068,0.07667562005164807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09463939060319944,0.1320183004567594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ecksdeeteehee,2018/02/12,"Does lithium on its own relieve depression? Or is what I'm feeling the calm before the storm? I'm pretty scared I've been taking 900mg of lithium er daily since I was in the psych ward for a month, April 2017. Pretty soon after I was discharged, I was prescribed lithium, but not er. I had diarrhea every day, it felt like my body was rejecting it. I was still sorely depressed. Then in September I got to start extended release lithium. 

I gradually felt better, I got a job, I felt more like myself. Then this last week, I feel like I went through a period of hypomania. Probably relatively mild hypomania. I couldn't sleep without taking Seroquel, my head felt on edge, it sucked. Nothing about it was enjoyable.

Right now it seems to have stopped, I feel something akin to normal. But I'm scared. Is this the calm before the storm? Is the lithium helping me? Or am I going to spiral back down into hell?",2.422050816696913,5.028481011494254,3.850544464609804,83.76732304900183,80.83908045977013,6.4217785843920145,25.824561403508767,7.669130373188453,1.7092459770114945,712,29,130,12,19,234,107,174,0.152,0.677,0.171,-0.504,1,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,1,5,15,2,2,9,0,14,4,3,0,0,18,33,6,0,2,6,0,7,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,1,0,1,8,0,0,2,3,7,2,0,15,7,18,8,17,17,2,24,1,3,0,0,1,7,2,3,18,80,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10070387708618628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228828636629013,0.0,0.0,0.11582775720381228,0.0,0.14547241203491595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446148659704816,0.0,0.2255996475658968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11460821301998865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103435251847124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19865927270254669,0.0935613070309242,0.5029871332392544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443033599517991,0.0,0.2094890909623065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13440770800046226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778297085001736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12996239433646511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675382329379013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19194841489408185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453488487974524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12831773558901108,0.12566429500232792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664766476069816,0.14120224691924418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184325678439733,0.0,0.0,0.2622373013471108,0.0,0.0,0.11922547057899585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10833546803667392,0.0,0.1310594200742056,0.0,0.0,0.1008231312974291,0.0,0.0,0.09269758699893474,0.0,0.10458868946690236,0.10949246948240132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19693852005554247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505209403522496,0.0,0.0,0.1214057176795656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12624543114467204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Devil_Flaps,2018/02/12,"I can't stop eating granola! Since August I've been eating granola non stop. It's pretty much my only sustenance. I would go through a bag/box of granola in a day, easily. I feel like my teeth are about to fall out of my head. Anyone else obsessively eat the same thing over and over again?? ",1.688022598870056,3.912456135593221,3.245000000000001,89.31179378531073,80.86440677966101,5.967231638418079,20.002824858757066,7.1686216300943375,0.4670994350282482,228,6,47,3,6,75,47,59,0.024,0.76,0.21600000000000005,0.8787,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,3,0,4,5,2,0,0,7,6,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,3,2,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,1,6,1,9,4,2,11,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,6,28,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524493363495564,0.22339411691542305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14060918306663112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6692872262718729,0.182133329287243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024084928626086,0.15575831634396398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390959668501593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22375829246254111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651683150355094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16027470922450754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16581912819974856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218115334928389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18035393729750224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645601636002119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448472499867422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15487991049813438,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,red_sky_at_morning,2018/02/12,"I took a shower and it was glorious Since the beginning of December I've been struggling with a couple of manic episodes. As the month went on I noticed a spike in my anxiety, but it was around the holidays and I was able to get a handle on it for the most part with my Xanax prescription. After a negative experience with my father during the holidays, my anxiety only increased until by January I couldn't get a handle on it. It developed in to full blown paranoia. I was (and still somewhat am) convinced I was being watched, especially from the strip of woods behind my house. Every time my German Shepherd would let out a guard dog bark at the back door I would lose my shit. If I needed to go to the grocery store I would go either very early in the morning or very late at night when there would be virtually no one there. If I turned to go down and aisle and saw another person there, I was overcome with a sense of uncomfortable dread and would wait in hiding until I saw them leave the aisle and go elsewhere. 

This lasted me all of January and I shamefully only showered maybe two or three times from the beginning of December to the end of January. I kept my hair tied up and didn't brush it unless I was going to shower. My first shower since maybe all of January or at least the middle of it, and when I went to take my hair tie out it just kept getting more tangled. I had to have my fiancé cut it out of my hair, and when I tried to unwrap the bun it wasn't unwinding. I asked him to look at it and he was shocked and told me my hair was completely knotted together. Luckily he was able to untangle it without having to take scissors to it. And let me tell you, even with a detangler brush the layer of knots on top and underneath my hair were RUTHLESS. My hand cramped up during it and my eyes may have teared up a couple times but I got through it. Unfortunately, for the past week and a half I did not shower and did not brush my hair. Same results as far as my fiancé having to cut out another hair tie and unknot my hair, but that shower was HEAVENLY! I got the shampoo super lathery and just scrubbed every inch of my scalp. Then I let a deep conditioner sit while I washed my body and was able to do a second wash after I rinsed the conditioner and used my medicated body wash for my body acne (chest, back, and even upper arms!) I put all my products in my hair- about 8 totally I believe- and exfoliated my face and neck and put on a super moisturizing mask before doing my normal skincare routine. 

I'm going through a manic episode now, and was up all night but I was able to take a shower and get ready early enough to actually be on time for once since my best friend/Maid of Honor was coming over so we could go to my mom's and get my Save the Dates addressed and ready to finally send out, seeing as they were supposed to be done end of December/early January. I also did 4 hours worth of much needed cleaning and decluttering. I feel very accomplished and refreshed but at the same time a little invalidated because most of this most likely wouldn't have gotten done if I wasn't manic. Still, my hair is soft, my skin is glowing, and my Save the Dates are finally done! Hopefully after my appointment with my psychiatrist on Tuesday, I can get on the road to getting my moods and emotions to a manageable level. If you read this, I hope you are having a wonderful day, and know this illness doesn't own you!",6.251622807017545,5.87714793421053,7.008070175438602,76.87815789473686,66.00292397660819,10.182456140350878,31.742690058479532,9.747274676799606,2.8116760233918123,2713,94,533,51,38,903,299,684,0.076,0.8,0.124,0.9923,7,0,0,0,0,0,54.0,1,4,2,8,19,20,3,3,41,0,59,29,22,2,5,104,104,61,0,17,19,2,14,1,0,7,7,0,10,1,20,49,0,4,3,4,2,15,11,8,0,6,39,24,80,11,98,49,21,98,1,1,7,0,17,41,1,15,42,394,100,3,0.27269847088553595,0.0,0.06652859258923466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0545192171609798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429740618705869,0.10430679190944846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06068986363033575,0.06373406467258211,0.0,0.0,0.10484414571946614,0.0,0.04155861418903141,0.0,0.058011578383039615,0.07680944838602306,0.0715450552589257,0.0,0.0,0.22717989426312385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058726396573774126,0.07147978960448989,0.0,0.0,0.05443188483139241,0.15086783561351666,0.0,0.04396698848488698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20929891095205128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668726888387517,0.12076495200509547,0.07044260433023536,0.0,0.0900573840696824,0.0,0.11488011155483592,0.0,0.0,0.06668785781501241,0.0,0.0,0.03447113513799694,0.0,0.0,0.1493639227295767,0.0,0.057989295006789614,0.0,0.0,0.052671540537090035,0.0,0.24932896769090615,0.0,0.2712164443502111,0.0,0.10905093932328527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13542555614407026,0.06713826572459967,0.07866435555108932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03746698697939134,0.05557141258794476,0.07690393826705319,0.07218707652924056,0.0,0.20913949677534815,0.0,0.0333066745857133,0.0683288770715292,0.0,0.0,0.057249508669738186,0.07626995883837791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13698113358511887,0.0,0.0,0.06867875502074594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984528831413078,0.05441632944141636,0.0,0.050116188297269576,0.10110123040592343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795452091251908,0.0667966505250453,0.0,0.0776172541341195,0.0,0.07260374289444874,0.0461968853409842,0.10369973768608738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382646742426073,0.06508038673384944,0.0,0.059527446576722126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13706864153151102,0.0,0.0,0.06819306674115007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05432634372643158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998026539541924,0.1691842448285685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888867555408213,0.0,0.0,0.07127091273885826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537764842718623,0.0,0.05958762080640152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19876583919545945,0.0,0.0,0.06514376879184093,0.07574450875795874,0.046286090333381116,0.07415440724657114,0.06659669535439508,0.0,0.0,0.05888098068361481,0.0,0.16875359833109618,0.0,0.0,0.054685566106545694,0.0,0.0,0.12639710727998132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06571789866650746,0.07393246478435225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421464620196571,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SufficientOutcome,2018/02/12,"How to convince someone that I'll be okay? I've spent my entire life managing my ups and downs. I've figured out strategies for waiting out the lows and have handled it myself for as long as I can remember. It's made school difficult at times, but I've done my best to keep my shit together and I'm in a graduate program that I absolutely love and working with people who are amazing. I know how to meet deadlines even in my worst episodes and I've learned how to harness the (very rare) hypomania for productivity. 

I accidentally confided in my supervisor and told him that I was dealing with a particularly bad bout of depression (not my worst though). This spiralled into him being excessively worried about me and reaching out to other people and him phoning/texting me to check up on me. I've had moderate suicidal thoughts in past, but I can usually handle them (or I know to go to a doctor immediately if not). 

I was emotionally exhausted but doing okay before he started worrying about me. I'm afraid that his concern is pushing me deeper into this depressive episode though because he's made it feel more serious than usual. He was worried I was suicidal and that made me think about suicide more than usual and freak myself out about it. (I ended up on the phone with him at 2AM crying because of it...)

The thing is, I know it passes. I deal with it all the time. I know my worst-case measures and I'm prepared to use them. But, the crucial thing is that I've always dealt with it myself. On one hand, I get where he is coming from on the ""you shouldn't have to go through this alone"" thing, but the fact that he's referring to me as a ""student in crisis"" makes me scared and makes me feel more fucked up/depressed. I'm not sure how I can convince him that I'll be okay. I'm also worried that I've fucked up the only good thing in my life (my academic stuff) by confiding in him. I've resolved to take the steps he wants (talking to X person, checking in, etc.) to show that I'm committed to living/dealing with this shit and that I am accepting his help, but it's so difficult when I just want to make an appointment with my psychiatrist and deal with this in my own way without everyone knowing. (Also, I feel like shit for making him worry and also for ruining his perception of me.)

Does anyone have any recommendations for quelling his worry and coming back from this gracefully?

edit: just fyi, bipolar type II, on bupropion and carbamazepine ",6.290588762701738,6.415986914225948,6.990451285116558,75.35059623430965,65.84100418410041,10.092169754931264,34.43544530783025,9.871247098662263,3.3064139868499702,1947,83,366,39,28,645,226,478,0.229,0.659,0.112,-0.9976,0,1,0,0,0,1,60.0,0,1,2,3,21,33,5,2,15,3,23,12,4,12,4,85,63,39,3,4,14,0,4,1,0,1,5,0,0,1,33,33,0,2,17,1,3,7,5,19,0,1,12,4,57,14,74,47,9,48,0,4,0,3,31,29,5,2,12,256,90,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777879766869725,0.0,0.18016734055194705,0.062487486129077986,0.0,0.0,0.05106916140595396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05251021238276665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05774566562753367,0.06270362708041467,0.0915579910517756,0.0,0.06390279943328292,0.0,0.07881063477478026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938041840249231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249153974401886,0.0,0.2322679766209705,0.1940451875980956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686590417718006,0.0657186966253282,0.07685124648659078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447505306984103,0.06651446764296175,0.0,0.08375403300385625,0.049601468466280885,0.0,0.0,0.07175928163765033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391529568888745,0.053649969671563616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13885363545669815,0.03923556409982757,0.0,0.08535975812022059,0.06298857302523114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05033655335989018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06675048260626099,0.0,0.0,0.2063592666368008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060877648333022,0.03668905079236249,0.0,0.0,0.06645929677218547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06777880559967127,0.21317840554400133,0.20051378129044625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05088829472790843,0.05711535286010671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168946297295625,0.10412688523609287,0.06557260783788421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08507130487581775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518611972455153,0.07600310520249948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312608097468423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363022464734562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05315469491545487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596915237080867,0.24643480962312395,0.0,0.07077890166831527,0.0,0.05646429043926383,0.06036086413297876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19956688673077733,0.04811971536945056,0.14756665191470145,0.05961936064801845,0.08758040315627133,0.0,0.0,0.07175928163765033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486049171453165,0.2481292502369017,0.061963649604527965,0.08858939889297968,0.05960923406251947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0723917158387545,0.0,0.05467218080198062,0.4575935038722538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nebraskasurplus,2018/02/12,Stuck in a loop When I'm depressed I'm really careful Always feel anxious about every little decision. Constantly going over every possibility in my head and thinking about all the things that could go wrong.As a result I get really upset when things don't go to plan .. The problem is when things go right mania sets in and I get so excited that I blow it. And I fall into a depression once again..and it's getting to the point where I'm apprehensive about trying anything because I feel like I'm going to fail at everything regardless of how carefully I plan.,4.156931702344551,6.138710972477063,5.6966360856269125,75.79176350662591,72.30275229357798,8.881141692150868,27.70744138634047,9.444778638647367,2.7555741080530067,452,17,79,11,9,153,70,109,0.181,0.738,0.081,-0.9018,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,9,10,0,2,6,0,3,1,1,2,1,14,21,8,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,4,0,0,6,1,6,0,0,1,2,7,4,13,19,1,21,0,3,0,0,0,10,0,0,5,46,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12751425015068366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1731261278089621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610968812413573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341829298552418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3124922110417228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16560617513403303,0.0,0.12235571046243872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639838056621252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582353653715393,0.0,0.13772902959927705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15497314646814736,0.10948009076801213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401965823250066,0.0,0.4354706127583606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572762131994098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748690192283381,0.1535943193053991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16320365483576196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14486848253400544,0.17276360321279755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466372227831271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963486280172871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308725828348975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054326173061514,0.09819485152795268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404503692665153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16755215468049076,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,blablatrucarim,2018/02/13,"My ex boyfriend is bipolar. asking for opinion We broke up 3 months ago. I knew form the start about his state and I tried to inform myself about his disorder so I could better reach to him. At first we met he was in relathionship and I didn't knew that. We were just acquaintances, but we liked each other. He had that conversation with me, that he likes me and that he is in relathionship with that girl for one year and I told him that he shouldn't reconsider breaking up a serious relathinship just because he likes someone (in that case me) and after that it passed one month. We didn't had contact. 

Suddenly he showed up and it looked like he broke up. He told me that he is free and that he felt nothing for that girl, so we started dating. He looked really really in love with me and I sstarted to love him. We had a great relathionship and everything went just perfect. but for one year. Than he had that ""cold waves"", we called that state like that. As he told me he had for a very long time a big problem with retrospective jelosy. Sometimes it affected on us. And sometimes he had a periods when he, as he said- felt nothing to me, but that he cared for me. I gave him space and tried to understand and wanted him to be free to make decision if he wants to be with me. And our relathionship lasted one year like that. 

He never had a relathionship longer than one year. In our case we lasted for two years. But the second one was filled with all those ""cold waves"" he felt. And the last wave when we broke up I gave him a freedom again, but it seems like now that he really choose to move on and it looks like he really don't love me. 

He made an instangram page and now after 3 months of break up he posted a photo with a new girlfriend. I can guess he behave a little bit strange and that he is just in his mood swing. But we were perfect match in everything else. We got along very well. I feel like he is my true soulmate, despite his strange behaviour. 

Now I just reconsider if he ever really loved me? And maybe I  supposed to be more dedicated and try harder to keep us together? Maybe I could do something to keep him close? But I was affraid to be intrusive with him and insisting to be together. I choose to give him freedom. Did I done the right thing? What do you think?",2.741165207877465,4.652854514223197,3.531833150984685,90.0902661378556,76.06783369803063,7.3708752735229774,23.022374179431075,8.238735603445708,1.1538595623632388,1791,53,383,32,40,568,188,457,0.041,0.737,0.222,0.9987,1,0,1,0,0,0,49.0,16,1,0,4,17,28,0,0,15,0,33,5,0,3,6,89,70,35,0,8,14,1,4,9,1,1,1,1,0,2,27,43,0,2,13,1,2,4,5,5,1,9,31,10,60,24,56,31,6,61,0,3,3,4,81,21,0,5,40,249,87,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675000495093862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07118751231030894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046418730303478616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734616118731797,0.08313320662759338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775497910212187,0.0,0.07763731921611533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215949584076976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727148373131292,0.0,0.0,0.07792519785913397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361135706438636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887965616767383,0.0,0.0,0.13687269325118875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03850239851471665,0.05439969672479665,0.2193402516462796,0.0,0.0,0.06477091447672652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730474964402586,0.0,0.0,0.060902008411105886,0.08395274483809746,0.0838849135741931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13536656338275918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18621081071928292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3348158300180283,0.07631966990756822,0.0,0.06738802670500704,0.1918338391308982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27490389959682554,0.07205248316611887,0.050828961125788136,0.0,0.1530005372082549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18234031401699305,0.08093260399372917,0.0,0.0,0.05872954649267945,0.07354360496650049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14613091146754772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095965739016163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292813189465515,0.0,0.0,0.0728627496744758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439097771462388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06502943837428207,0.07243358695068447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06932170623936261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06451941994630768,0.058621966061372564,0.15062339308364742,0.0,0.10779500158534053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05058892941099087,0.048792160342433874,0.0,0.0,0.04440214411958797,0.0,0.0,0.21828622730871008,0.0,0.15509719844470174,0.0,0.0743849163664964,0.07927209820765066,0.18319182194907407,0.0,0.0,0.12565911097744878,0.08982738410315441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06846563104206246,0.0705893753733232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451820501729721
bipolarreddit,LaikaG6,2018/02/13,"Thoughts on Abilify? Hey all, quick question. I saw my psychiatrist this afternoon and he suggested going on Abilify if my anxiety and paranoia don't subside soon. Just trying to weigh the costs and benefits here. I do really need the anxiety to decrease so I can function at work, but my paranoia isn't *that* bad right now. I'm also already feeling tired, foggy and sluggish, and I know that antipsychotics exacerbates tiredness, fogginess and sluggishness even in small doses.  

Anyone here have good experiences with this drug? Bad experiences? Thank you for your input!",5.228831168831167,8.597472346938776,5.825361781076065,69.16574211502785,75.53061224489795,9.6860853432282,34.419294990723564,9.800150414767053,4.682763265306122,462,25,66,15,11,149,74,98,0.174,0.698,0.128,-0.6436,0,0,1,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,1,9,5,0,0,2,0,5,4,0,0,1,16,13,10,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,7,1,0,4,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,2,2,9,3,8,11,1,11,0,0,1,0,6,6,0,2,4,46,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23853256539383136,0.1728591825556256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33071617171663303,0.0,0.0,0.15114069554171325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3609610161482557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506713307130711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427684273915531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4228823959174275,0.0,0.0,0.10929453047949024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12284594394248388,0.18130067097839145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879320869477175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16027629296045645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421432194930819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13847451380134593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18459530337429444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19900660601815487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160303162382662,0.0,0.2484385288146295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14675514718231356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573635119385949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Kpopthrowaway18,2018/02/13,"Is it safe to occasionally smoke weed I’m aware that thc can cause psychotic symptoms, but is it okay to have a couple of hits maybe once every few months on special occasions? I used to smoke pot but I stopped. I’m never going to be a regular smoker again, but every once in a while it would be nice.




Thanks :)",1.2371428571428569,3.5911457301587326,3.0914285714285725,88.92857142857146,83.76190476190476,6.139682539682537,20.11111111111111,7.447530270364453,0.6523396825396826,243,7,51,4,7,81,45,63,0.033,0.6970000000000001,0.27,0.952,0,0,3,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,1,7,1,0,2,1,9,13,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,7,9,1,8,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,30,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560403409815277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757816940282956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4199945156754641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14165005543156522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250397236206097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989427031299056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19223090838416987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5308695024834573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20837759448681664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590580229393909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294686814154601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21526518933529148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17705446950219628,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dan1elle_p,2018/02/13,"Was just prescribed 25mg of Lamictal.. i’m scared i’m a very worrisome and paranoid person, i read that a side affect could be a potentially fatal rash..

is this something i should really worry about? i’m scared as hell ",2.0386046511627924,4.688440767441861,3.954697674418604,82.02693023255813,83.18604651162791,7.1609302325581385,22.55348837209302,8.238735603445708,1.7391990697674418,175,6,32,4,5,59,34,43,0.453,0.547,0.0,-0.9696,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,2,3,0,5,1,1,1,0,5,8,2,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,3,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,17,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26430993906736383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2890529296618277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311313832141091,0.0,0.21207385299414025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6628611822185472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25485214980277626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731441533484339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3361890156316115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TiffRenae,2018/02/13,"I have bipolar, so I blog... I'm not sure if this is helpful in any way, but this is my therapy, I blog. I try to blog almost every day and my goal in life is to end the stigma of mental illness especially surrounding bipolar disorder. If anyone wants to check it out its tiffrenae.com. What's your therapy?",3.1239344262295106,4.811458114754103,5.223737704918033,79.34052459016394,74.40983606557377,8.814426229508197,28.593442622950818,9.3871,2.7284465573770498,239,10,46,6,5,83,45,61,0.145,0.8240000000000001,0.031,-0.795,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,1,9,6,5,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,7,6,0,7,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,3,2,30,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26117416624202394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17736695925365528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18237183544214455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16820771680556187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.298923016397641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310096454967899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21975261368707852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17482255754668025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18422531077929485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26284583000894385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458203389797379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.596542198348578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17708007400848574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15383875387001206,0.20702726064101495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ozymandias53,2018/02/13,"Can medication kill creativity? I started taking Quetiapine (Seroquel) a few months ago and, while I've certainly had less negative thoughts and have been more functional, I feel like I'm no longer as creative as I used to be, something which affects my education as well as what I do with my free time (absolutely nothing). I was wondering if anyone has experienced something similar, and if it's possibly a result of medication?",9.574868421052633,9.488132539473686,10.296315789473685,55.08421052631582,59.131578947368425,14.442105263157895,46.631578947368425,13.427899808715575,6.915089473684208,347,21,53,13,4,119,60,76,0.123,0.6809999999999999,0.196,0.6269,0,0,2,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,2,0,8,2,0,3,1,13,15,10,1,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,4,2,7,5,7,10,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,6,39,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211723281113528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16700723926257188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12076812096475398,0.170632204951986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26424860122562244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11668848412442663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4812260554142061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906452407247517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22917995077705397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26926388482921176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36775187840754936,0.0,0.0,0.16905699765533236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17958307223065625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18961768342976515,0.13927349253525595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062869519455965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147519617110499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590191710993912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,whirlpoohl,2018/02/13,"Depression I usually have a couple of bad days a month (on a lot of meds), usually I have crying spells, overwhelming sense of dread, I hate myself and think I’m a horrible person who’s always and always will fuck up everything good in their life. Then it goes away pretty quickly.

The depression I’m experiencing has been a slow onset over a few weeks, but has been really bad. My boyfriend says I’ve been fucked since New Years, idk know if I believe that, maybe. I feel so god awful alone. I haven’t felt this alone in such a long time, and my boyfriend just took me to pick out my engagement ring. My boyfriend doesn’t “get” this sort of stuff and doesn’t even try, but I’ve isolated myself so badly he’s all I’ve got to talk to (I’m convinced no one else cares, and I’m convinced he doesn’t want to put up with my shit anyways). He gets very mad. I usually have to beg him to listen, then when he finally does, he’ll say things like “don’t do that” “just do what you have to do”. I try to talk to him but he says all I do is tell him what he does wrong, which in my opinion isn’t accurate, my only gripe with our relationship has been communication and always has been. We’re bad at it together.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Everything is such a fucking chore. I hate going to university (I’m in my mid twenties) because I feel so alone. Like those movie scenes where the person is standing still, but there are thousands of people moving around them very quickly. Like I know I don’t have anything in common with the kids at school, but since the depression has onset it’s only magnified how utterly alone I feel.

I can’t let go of the feeling that I fuck everything up. I have to beg my boyfriend to listen to me and that’s always a fight. I’ve missed assignments in school and I feel like I’m trashing it (really though, nothing major, not in danger of failing). I’m just a piece of shit, the same piece of shit I’ve always been. I ruin every good thing I touch.

I wish I didn’t care that I had to beg him to care about me sometimes, I think he is just more aloof than I am at any given time. I wish I could care less.

I don’t know. I’ve been in tears all night and am having a horrible horrible time. I have homework to do, but I’d love to just take my medicine and knock out.

I hate everything right now.",2.5814582427142234,3.901372080578515,3.907946933449328,89.73024575902569,75.09504132231405,7.408786428882122,23.274032187907785,8.032893268588372,0.997678512396694,1813,51,406,28,38,596,212,484,0.231,0.638,0.132,-0.9956,0,4,0,0,1,0,55.0,1,1,2,1,24,40,13,2,17,1,47,9,3,2,3,55,94,25,0,5,13,0,7,4,0,2,1,6,2,3,20,16,0,0,12,0,0,5,13,26,0,2,13,14,54,14,51,77,11,52,0,7,0,5,32,23,7,4,27,244,74,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27547611484653545,0.0,0.0,0.27664688869787296,0.0,0.0,0.045219052602573064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05471992787155045,0.05919487343156345,0.0,0.0,0.0624744795575232,0.0,0.2220830366711937,0.040534889349812864,0.0,0.0,0.07491737999698135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27118537049734825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05309104915545,0.07357573324297348,0.07304191359831387,0.04288393749543666,0.0,0.17181679322134807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638088889107125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05554825181857908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783897561631507,0.0,0.05602511899444503,0.0,0.2390465848451713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681099906538676,0.047504222390110484,0.06384587121272298,0.07284229995204393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458951614992805,0.06948205093161694,0.0,0.07558156990083564,0.11154612758755307,0.05318232868468933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969508888429994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14617620930019787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679959018997778,0.04696756404861591,0.12994488822954453,0.0,0.0,0.058846206868027814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056531886636895824,0.060014562435986726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06680341971496978,0.0,0.07386123636182564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05307587694569814,0.07067393110992068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06422153019295407,0.0,0.06240129090211801,0.0,0.06380398912462762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04505890468544591,0.10114527336235364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046099436246901285,0.11612218103755614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06764957828939445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06684609588444093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519712420672894,0.0,0.0,0.07139101711007448,0.0,0.05678658316908895,0.0,0.15863908353286815,0.0,0.13459349311774818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047692664801994,0.11001112168409236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576550599534031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053103195344243764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07612115641282084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0499961551991014,0.10689273194322374,0.05811978246001245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835298348719957,0.08521494697026079,0.06533124895348794,0.0,0.1163217511776962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738786733213576,0.09029182453317866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21970538207019308,0.10973109617530896,0.039220623349661456,0.0,0.05333848142957938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06000162361289691,0.0,0.1529325197790676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07270212110757412,0.0,0.0428207631244791
bipolarreddit,tori1090,2018/02/13,"Possible Misdiagnoses? During the winter of 2016 I was diagnosed with bipolar I, generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, PTSD, and a few years earlier ADHD. At first I felt that my diagnoses made sense and I was willing to take my meds. While there were times where I accidentally or deliberately didn't take them, I was mostly consistent. I did in fact feel better in time, though there were many ups and downs. The summer of 2017 I felt that my medications were working amazingly. I was productive, holding a job, writing a book, and overall happy. Beginning my first year of college even started off well. Towards the winter I became very overwhelmed but everyone was due to finals. I expected when our winter break came I would calm down. Throughout the break I had very low energy and a few major mood swings. I convinced my boyfriend to go on a road trip to California with me in the span of a few hours. I felt very excited and couldn't stop talking and laughing. Once we got there I was back to feeling depressed and unhappy, even more so because I thought going on a trip would help me feel better. I thought maybe the cold weather was what had me down, but the change to warm weather made no difference. When we got back in early January I took it upon myself to go off my meds cold turkey (which I know is not the best thing to do and I don't want to suggest that to anyone else). I expected my symptoms to worsen from withdrawals but nothing really happened. I was slightly more emotional and less zombie like, but nothing major. Since then I've only been taking Mydayis for ADHD and I've felt a lot better than I have in the past five months. I've had relatively normal moods, getting sad when something saddening happens or vice versa. This leaves me extremely confused. Is it possible that I don't have the things I was diagnosed with? Or could my symptoms just be taking a break? I had extreme mood swings at the time of my diagnoses and even in the summer briefly. I really just want to know if anyone else has experienced this or has any thoughts.",4.775168734491314,6.708602715384617,5.503631100082713,78.01179900744417,70.56410256410257,8.62200165425972,30.52936311000827,9.19923166143015,2.86143258891646,1649,70,290,35,31,535,203,390,0.114,0.77,0.116,-0.261,1,0,1,0,0,0,40.0,3,0,1,7,17,22,0,3,21,0,34,8,0,2,1,61,66,28,0,10,12,0,8,1,0,3,8,0,0,0,12,18,0,2,12,1,0,7,6,6,1,3,32,11,46,13,41,28,11,60,0,4,0,0,8,22,0,8,29,208,58,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18605794291302166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052639867026845366,0.0,0.059216652306400185,0.0,0.0,0.10825047920438284,0.1586266020344328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904343350567173,0.0,0.04718699447499315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123456936894291,0.20538236925578876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08853374780375281,0.0,0.0,0.08188704630978294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0618037222588687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06667110895077373,0.3142686046431744,0.0,0.08087453516543193,0.17743178211599248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293283437405471,0.08707320500789947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15338109923008536,0.0,0.0,0.07396634170905862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11741892469547582,0.0,0.29729399245835536,0.0847963140029827,0.0,0.13168584162348387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04044231039003118,0.0,0.13197768065469653,0.0,0.12381996300297247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13690268608658104,0.08240189941602004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051884726565050006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07623095802466516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681516390471266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850824572518011,0.0,0.0,0.08196354108097778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03781747539770594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580922916491094,0.0,0.1464900096508843,0.0,0.07847922330022365,0.0777664043880135,0.0,0.17196493233490082,0.07798007938793779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06178606016605884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584307707991987,0.14854948567018736,0.0,0.0,0.08243663754621515,0.0,0.05887201780832156,0.0,0.09082121716295903,0.0,0.0,0.07389437567076257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17453102448672292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048541872109077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09917866543397348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06403242088927809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059592202771731675,0.0,0.0,0.05478954412350824,0.0,0.0,0.06471627452359516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16091240683888516,0.232803724099648,0.0622173494553416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102852426897741,0.0,0.07605263842731744,0.1843591198878394,0.13541109691394335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860027646739048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916082927083339,0.09131409346328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06959878765720168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05635370247431516,0.0,0.0,0.10997636940912638,0.0,0.0,0.09969599746688906
bipolarreddit,dont_think_i_should,2018/02/14,"Health effects of long-term (>6 years) use of lamotrigine? (Particularly related to chronic inflammation and low-grade flu-like symptoms) Hi all,

I've been on 250mg lamotrigine for about 6 years now. It works fantastically. However, during the same period I've slowly developed a kind of background inflammation that's basically the same as very minor flu. It's there almost all the time - some days better than others - and is sometimes accompanied by muscle aches/sprains and a slightly sore throat. I also feel like I'm extra warm to the touch.

No doubt the timing is purely coincidental and I have some other problem, but I figured it was worth researching. Unfortunately, however, I can't find much about long-term usage and the only articles that refer to those symptoms are acute allergic responses.

Do any of you have views/experiences here? Naturally I'll pursue it with my doctor too.

Thank you!",6.272096153846152,8.695547825000002,7.205000000000003,65.32769230769233,67.625,10.173076923076923,31.05769230769231,10.389873798559362,3.8449711538461546,732,30,113,21,13,244,116,160,0.1,0.83,0.07,-0.5491,2,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,2,0,3,7,7,0,1,8,0,9,9,1,2,3,23,13,8,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,8,0,0,0,9,6,0,0,5,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,3,7,5,15,11,8,8,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,4,8,68,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977120119848136,0.0,0.0,0.15789618832753058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13426893968208306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17462349677102654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273352820438649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20209267525531194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19313847676182488,0.0,0.0,0.09983380409776786,0.14105429467531708,0.0,0.0,0.1804605737143113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20987412837184105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056079238553521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964613440325314,0.0,0.0,0.3494641017770024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14514432740804686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501653376904771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18892759302374199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952775268261051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4104405931901509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18178024492365988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302627954911148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17052853835883386,0.0,0.162912280174276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374185015564486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25429539674939106
bipolarreddit,TheLawnmowerMan2000,2018/02/14,"The Valentine’s Day Thread: Celebrating Joy, Sorrow & Everything in Between. Gather 'round and [throw it in the fire](https://imgur.com/a/8ImiJ) for your cathartic pleasure. 

Your go-to spot for walls of text, rants about Hallmark holidays, misgivings, successes...*you* name it regarding this brutal day. <3",6.761117021276598,10.689072851063834,4.777845744680853,71.27187500000002,86.44680851063829,8.307446808510639,33.53457446808511,8.472884824447931,4.489427659574469,252,13,30,7,8,72,41,47,0.175,0.596,0.229,0.4981,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,2,0,0,1,4,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,2,7,0,0,6,0,1,1,0,4,3,0,0,2,15,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5439051306783336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6474830611841531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4511555595193397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28529205284440506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kazzam94,2018/02/14,"Is it anyhow possible to get rid of bipolar disorder? If traumic events triggered it, cant you stop it by settling with those events? I mean, shouldnt it work like this? I dont want to take meds, isnt there any other way?",2.0336956521739147,3.739741717391308,3.2602173913043515,92.17119565217396,77.47826086956522,6.339130434782609,24.54347826086957,7.1686216300943375,0.8795391304347824,173,6,38,2,4,56,36,46,0.156,0.802,0.042,-0.6254,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,0,8,9,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,5,8,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,4,22,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21371735889573185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3601856729487389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3683272389158183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16419539509457715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353859001923825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3423369382269006,0.3490879939206101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35429714877173085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26274745834179897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23629522577580636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18536717498714156,0.24945637874041746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287954954495688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jimzsche,2018/02/14,"I just really need to rant about the aspects of bipolar disorder I’ve been struggling with the most lately: side effects, mania, moods.. It’s been almost a year since I was officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder & my first and only manic episode. I cringe so much when I think about the time I was manic. I know I need to be nice to myself because I literally had no control over it, but I just hate the person I was for like a week. I thought I felt empathy for the first time in my life, and also thought I could read minds and was super obsessed with eye contact and the subconscious mind. Classic bipolar shit. It hurts to watch shows that depict people having manic episodes. I wish I could just erase that part of my life, which I guess I am doing to the best of my ability. Just blocking it out. Didn’t happen.
But now I’m on lithium and lamictal, which have thankfully allowed me to at least seem sane to other people, but honestly I’m lying when I say they’re making me feel all better. They’re not. Lithium fucking sucks. I have no appetite. I’m nauseous 97% of the time, and eating makes it worse. I used to have such a beautiful figure, but I’m getting so fucking skinny, my curves are going away. I tried to eat a lot two nights ago because I really want to gain a few pounds but I ended up feeling so nauseous, I just can’t do that often enough to gain weight back. And the fucking flaking. I feel so disgusting. My skin has never flaked before but my left ear now flakes so much daily. I hate it.
And probably the worst of all, it feels like my head is no longer mine. I can’t trust my thoughts or my feelings. As soon as I start to get passionate about something, I start speaking quickly, my mind races, my hands start shaking, and boom I’m hypomanic, thinking about all the weird shit I thought about during mania, making sense of things that don’t exist. I can’t even fucking explain that to anyone because none of my friends have bipolar disorder and none of them get it. So I’m just trying to act normal while my head is just being literally insane. This almost entirely defeats my ability to feel joy about anything, literally. If I’m not hypomanic, I’m just stuck in depression. I feel really alone. I miss who I used to be before all this happened.
I wish I could just turn it off, you know? I can’t even self-medicate with alcohol because if I have more than a few drinks I’ll throw up in the morning.
Hopefully it gets easier.",3.108492063492065,5.052788438271608,4.291992945326282,84.90111111111112,75.1111111111111,7.097707231040566,26.592004703115805,7.957251820313856,1.679207877718989,1935,73,375,30,42,633,240,486,0.171,0.67,0.158,-0.5139,1,1,3,0,0,0,60.0,0,1,1,10,33,33,10,3,18,0,32,26,9,8,5,87,91,31,0,12,20,0,11,2,1,0,8,4,0,1,22,15,6,2,20,3,0,4,14,19,0,3,14,17,59,13,50,71,18,40,0,4,2,5,9,13,7,11,25,255,81,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06488030795323009,0.0782200083086715,0.14658246726245733,0.07580485726543479,0.0,0.05853163048627723,0.0,0.07930352110691195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05117756090301831,0.0,0.06023079458904946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687663104037701,0.056280144098376034,0.0,0.17846869972851445,0.0,0.1245620332300736,0.0,0.07681050747978982,0.06473239218429716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209107202026805,0.17531361245789767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304017799972647,0.07428835776175229,0.0,0.0,0.25165318164257955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717003133133771,0.0,0.14978741398870266,0.0,0.0,0.06482640355586701,0.07562692022840244,0.0,0.09668527542064706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590565849226241,0.05228839240445801,0.07027581548351672,0.0,0.0,0.12451418652894433,0.0,0.0,0.05654797167679141,0.2706593655874398,0.152959234416824,0.0,0.04159671063621714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062925975434931,0.0,0.1294469198931569,0.0,0.0,0.1445239299033125,0.1502322530784884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269618882474116,0.0,0.0,0.07835356924334186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044883809819114,0.0,0.08256378451465161,0.0,0.07952334189767628,0.0,0.10339537395592896,0.07151584601155765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0622252364760258,0.0,0.0,0.14656872141961855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08129983222648388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217092209553714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10760910987166332,0.10854190811937804,0.05645019655680007,0.0,0.0,0.0686857508884084,0.07171263766881797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05566582797625098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925982316702715,0.0,0.1014842593278228,0.06390844711750608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07891337487263063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732118249686787,0.0,0.14066604308357872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05820523056056499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06663126444118805,0.0763552375363972,0.0,0.15026110970602494,0.06054519377492142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056346791425045874,0.0,0.0,0.15541706153200602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651618908123717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738537667233525,0.0,0.0,0.048625524619102654,0.09379697975718644,0.0,0.2324251471939842,0.12803656316705278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09938515177312293,0.07961189815087244,0.0714979665350091,0.0,0.0,0.12642880743744828,0.0,0.0,0.04317054865593342,0.0,0.0587102221007697,0.0891281600854598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833441751643466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458891948335485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047133260006319636
bipolarreddit,enigmaticplum,2018/02/14,"Woke up and didn’t recognize myself i was diagnosed a few months ago as BP II with OCD and unspecified anxiety disorder. it took me a long time to seek help even though i’ve been dealing with these things for a very long time. looking back, most of my life seems so foggy because of the constant up and down, racing thoughts, intrusive thoughts, and anxiety meltdowns. even so, i never really noticed the signs of something as serious as BP II. i’m only on 75 mg of lamictal and 50 mg of sertraline right now, but i’m going back to my pdoc because i just had easily the worst hypomanic episode yet. maybe it’s just because i can recognize it now, i don’t know. either way, i went on a total spending spree, made 3 road trips in a two week period, got my first 2 tattoos, had unprotected sex w a guy i barely know (have never had sex outside a relationship), drank like a fish, drove drunk and my mom even described me as “arrogant.” these things would all seem normal for a college student like myself if it weren’t for the fact that on a normal basis i am very, very straight laced. i woke up monday morning and had to make my first gyno appt because i thought i was pregnant, but instead i am being tested for std’s. i hate the second tattoo i got because it’s visible all the time. i’m in a mess with the people i went out with because the alcohol turned me in an irritable mess. my bank account has barely enough money to buy groceries now. i don’t know who i was these past few weeks but i’m scared of the place she put me in. how do i move past this?

tl;dr my first recognizable hypomanic state made my life a shit show to the point where i felt like i was a completely different person. I dont know how to pick up the pieces ",4.1320726495726525,4.958462780626782,5.443664529914532,82.08293269230772,70.76638176638177,8.69900284900285,28.870014245014247,8.959647251330699,2.2061689458689457,1360,50,278,25,24,456,188,351,0.134,0.8140000000000001,0.052000000000000005,-0.9827,3,0,2,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,3,18,10,2,1,25,0,22,11,1,6,6,46,52,20,0,4,7,1,1,3,0,1,6,0,0,2,13,12,3,0,10,2,5,8,7,7,0,5,26,2,36,3,37,24,10,54,0,0,1,3,8,19,1,4,28,179,49,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08119345334192983,0.09788721409265902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14013986993406208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086182381324786,0.0,0.33501282210731104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603562946105666,0.09898167035773003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443043746138936,0.0,0.09296701110181972,0.0,0.09569729457533346,0.10497582140934604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734867418817988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946421343034476,0.0,0.18149292858728905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794557741064038,0.0,0.0,0.23373201622980744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052055557237090884,0.0,0.14651380004304554,0.0,0.0,0.09069346436048543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09043111330371496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139420711228396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20135289700679526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12939253428195469,0.13424609152288153,0.0,0.0,0.16211741004180674,0.07691674292629956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17333883375315035,0.061140383060186765,0.0,0.09201950272185512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727497332008724,0.07311026626942384,0.09735100424321876,0.0,0.0,0.14128744282722314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17948733242102344,0.0,0.10428153047250656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06966213554022765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17487561001890936,0.06350044978681131,0.07997723319887673,0.09569729457533346,0.0,0.08658689430994948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207828773480156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058678111362302963,0.0,0.0,0.09833876650785282,0.0,0.07822164144872172,0.0,0.0,0.0917025878457596,0.0,0.0,0.16676932126830474,0.0,0.0,0.09402096556645076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051431666808458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170331457840787,0.0,0.08999163615497552,0.21814862944766286,0.1602293676697568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017654307187856,0.0,0.09962907300987184,0.08947501935545464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22672643734988224,0.0,0.07270385867847423,0.14694399053313553,0.0,0.0,0.16981899117015933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06506646992247138,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RaspberryHeroin,2018/02/14,"Probably hypo after med change Here I am at 6, after an hour of staring at the ceiling and trying not to move too much, after going to at 2:30 'cause I wasn't tired. This is all coming off the back of a month long depressive episode with a lot of suicidal contemplation, which was finally ended by an increase in seroquel to 300mg, an increase in lamictal to 100mg twice a day, and a decrease in lithium over the last few months from 900mg a day to 300. 

I have felt fantastic the last 4 or so days, but everyone around me is freaking out because I'm too hyper and loud and all over the place, especially  my gf, who's going through a rough patch. I can't even sit still long enough to comfort her and it's really freaking her out. Of course the only other time I've been like this was right before I crashed and burned and went to the hospital for a week, so bad feelings all around I guess. 

It just seems odd that this would come about after an increase in seroquel and lamictal. If it stays too much longer I might drop a note for the psychiatrist, because I know this isn't sustainable, it just feels so damn good.

Is this common to switch like this after a med change? Also, how the hell do I deal with all the people freaking out thinking this is going to wind up putting me in the psych ward again?
Thanks ",7.157968069666183,5.712445603773588,7.1433962264150965,80.15518142235126,64.66037735849056,10.267053701015968,33.214804063860676,9.057496981413335,2.5666284470246725,1035,34,215,14,13,332,153,265,0.138,0.763,0.099,-0.9419,0,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,18,12,2,0,24,0,15,1,0,2,4,39,30,16,1,2,6,0,4,2,1,2,1,1,0,0,15,17,0,0,6,0,0,11,4,7,0,1,6,6,14,5,43,22,12,56,1,1,1,0,5,19,2,6,25,148,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971091876284172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162005861903469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337377120025557,0.10139071157647424,0.14804773336870575,0.0,0.10332975312512688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474419247226227,0.2569180710343041,0.2092059629830891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23494093036745745,0.1251911387083795,0.10458926947096596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075527767445006,0.12547179576589948,0.0,0.08020474121193387,0.0,0.0,0.11603355286173775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227994129114568,0.0,0.11659383644077438,0.13302290414804446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070379422717995,0.10185146438218866,0.0,0.0,0.13377112253281934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11958613462929465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06673589346872033,0.19796669918588866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186511575201987,0.0,0.0,0.2149271327466373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323720890689556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697673239665326,0.0,0.0,0.1288202433131827,0.0,0.0,0.19385184971285072,0.12906307969393924,0.17853309662207825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235456604449643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.084185712054502,0.0,0.1268706743426428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13092431670248028,0.0,0.0,0.12207277655100272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779249759069927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10370232975578517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054720168875233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12943043639523655,0.0969758130767809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13282698236290638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11179834103920194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780877134761326,0.0,0.0,0.07080802028231023,0.1395683084468146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244440886776291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740548702169442,0.0,0.0,0.1125687514028154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626186302122492,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,darkmeowl25,2018/02/14,"Self Loathing on a Tuesday   I'm having a hard day, an exceptionally hard day. 

  I have this tendency to get into a pattern of just purely hating everything about myself. Everything. Recently, I have changed jobs and spend the majority of my day alone in a car, which has seemed to make things worse. I have unlimited time to criticize and berate myself. 

  I don't really know why I am posting. I lurk a lot but am not very vocal on Reddit, due mainly to my insecurity. I guess I just need the anonymous internet to hear me, since I can't get myself to talk to anyone else about it. 

  I spend massive amounts of time with the one person I hate the most: me. I feel trapped in my mind, body, and life. 

  I'm not okay, and I just needed for someone to hear that. 

Edit: format; spelling",3.017556561085976,4.858774516339872,4.733333333333333,82.0892307692308,75.07843137254902,7.5835093011563615,25.4947209653092,8.384062270229773,1.72085460030166,603,21,119,11,13,204,96,153,0.199,0.8009999999999999,0.0,-0.9765,1,2,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,2,1,10,1,9,2,1,1,1,24,24,5,0,2,7,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,5,6,0,0,3,0,2,1,4,3,0,1,0,5,21,1,21,24,5,15,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,4,8,80,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537372216288748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037914496088648,0.15209249042304174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648813911967149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702794672407325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28719110141629073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400107945020035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26681338826374057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505482035879454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510567904231648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16352142624874608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26594296450297,0.293104007364878,0.0,0.0,0.33460130751723954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14730202161155645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157775964922623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10484629939743392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619686015009415,0.0,0.0,0.099083659550768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14988027974615042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201301075752916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058557446753337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12961052171179632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421627755570515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509331996793542,0.0,0.1465648272211141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13513257379983193,0.15485342891096002,0.0,0.0,0.12278962337922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12577121583406853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11930901254670405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986157526688724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17311103094874328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247707110056195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13394239878266195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151271220068632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lereddit9gag,2018/02/15,"Double post First how's your relationship with your parents growing up?
My dad was always angry at me for not being who he wanted and not following HIS dreams and plans he had for me (he wanted me to go to trade school and become and automotive mechanic with a focus on diesel engines, I wanted a military career). 
My mom was always focused on my little brother and step dad. Sisters are way older than me so they already had their lives when I was barely a teen.
Tldr; I raised my self.

I'm so depressed and having panic attacks. I have no insurance. My income was less than expected so I don't qualify for subsidies. Medical won't accept me since I'm above the poverty line.
Psychiatrist gave me a discount and only charged 150 for a 15 minute consultation.
",2.9541324200913266,5.524542952054797,4.7744931506849335,78.16799543378995,78.38356164383562,7.181004566210048,26.17168949771689,8.238735603445708,2.1679612785388125,605,24,103,12,15,205,98,146,0.17,0.8009999999999999,0.029,-0.9647,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,2,2,5,4,1,1,6,0,12,1,0,1,0,17,20,12,0,4,2,6,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,9,0,0,1,1,2,4,5,3,0,1,7,0,21,1,14,11,2,14,0,1,0,0,19,5,0,0,3,72,22,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22397140884258168,0.0,0.3377579604723783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23089630223884006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22415337616666975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17480915210028006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17263767379967832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153468462051197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20341924125119712,0.179217399937893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20446084928004984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23770430105767376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543602270528282,0.0,0.23812983186907105,0.2253630632377691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943795783425797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21790308621075055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20540635728037568,0.0,0.0,0.21173154574866498,0.0,0.0,0.16789061077186507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3591332026194636,0.1611002023724256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,RhymesTimewithThyme,2018/02/15,"I feel so hopeless 28/M, living with parents, no savings, Uber driver. 

Yes, it's years of bad decisions (largely brought on by bipolar disorder) that have led me to this point. Here's the thing, I *was* an aspiring comedian. Something got ""switched off"" about my personality 3 years ago and I don't think I can do it anymore. But I still have all the jokes I wrote, 6,500 of them. I'm working on editing it down to the best and am going to try to publish it. But... what if I'm completely fucking wasting my time? What if I get it completely polished to something I'm happy with, go leaps and bounds, the extra mile, whathaveyou... and don't sell a single copy? I'm so worried about my future. To boot, I don't have any friends and I haven't had a girlfriend in 5 years. I am pretty good-looking but feel so pathetic about my life, the no money, the broken character, the friendlessness. I'm fortunate to be a 6'2"" Caucasian male with a history of health and fitness, so now that I'm getting sober and focusing more on the gym, I have the plausibility to get really aesthetic. But that's about all I have going for me. 

I can't be a broke lonely loser my whole life. I will not. I will kill myself if I don't see results after a long enough period. I feel like the pain of the world would be so dulled *if just one person loved me* but I have no one. I put $20 in an online poker account and am hovering at $80, and I dream of being able to make thousands that way one day, to afford the life I want to live. At this point, I just want to buy a hooker because I haven't had sex or female attention in so long, I feel pathetic. I have even tried a couple times but it didn't work out. I'm so scared I won't find a way to make money. ",2.4473426988523954,3.6646727202216094,4.310790462999607,87.11994113573407,75.26038781163436,7.373209339137317,25.635239414325284,7.957251820313856,1.3604087059754648,1336,46,292,20,28,455,186,361,0.15,0.731,0.119,-0.948,2,2,2,0,0,2,60.0,0,0,1,4,17,17,2,1,23,1,31,9,0,4,2,47,59,27,1,7,14,1,4,1,2,4,6,0,0,3,15,13,0,1,8,4,5,6,13,10,0,4,7,5,36,7,39,44,8,38,0,5,1,3,9,16,1,5,15,193,51,4,0.1101318574199505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976252466267524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07489343962787745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922120924771206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09195550073490102,0.0671353580762583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557658976658987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23094231431709245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218588054937688,0.0,0.07102593705462555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622064997992785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11379564881599714,0.0,0.07274105314759248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227439048143536,0.07867822094619825,0.0,0.0,0.10065852247501136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08508759984876939,0.10181512754363654,0.17261804993141505,0.0,0.18777141768422426,0.09237337683327047,0.0880825071153763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11723741011710467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117065014439578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184458284298445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23336816364502916,0.05380486256039398,0.0,0.19449689562195774,0.19492645633842626,0.09248302281569187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939830115629836,0.0,0.14702774003141025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22388459046789305,0.0,0.11718806116812028,0.0,0.12228839443823805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19232577983066373,0.0,0.0,0.20822040604813247,0.0,0.0,0.11204369211352824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071293533018013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705532879506011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102612019352363,0.0,0.08776083154405291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16956976879523022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795144359869228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07316671241321973,0.07056804730520662,0.0,0.0,0.12843754343701955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14954460388632146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299172458486425,0.17483508440790016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12295828577400525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16035460773163052,0.11184424713753656,0.0,0.07823451167377651,0.0,0.0,0.21276391609100176
bipolarreddit,peeenisweeenis,2018/02/15,Rapid cycling? Anyone deal with rapid cycling? I feel like my whole life is turned upside down after every shift. Any advice or even someone who’s experienced this would be awesome :),4.2065625,7.511351531250002,3.7550000000000026,82.39000000000001,80.5625,4.45,23.625,5.985473137389443,0.8457250000000003,147,5,22,1,4,44,30,32,0.0,0.738,0.262,0.8738,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,3,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,13,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3209331922953355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22334032017259012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296424558976707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33859184183587915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21692167138264906,0.0,0.2767122992137792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660615911918044,0.2346269465529115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23197635042330855,0.1604519072803756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782735089857023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3572321831571176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36667487898923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23330375761328465,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rockelita99,2018/02/15,"More Trouble Than I'm Worth Without going into much detail, here's a little context:
Happily (as much as BPD allows) married to a wonderful man, and we have a beautiful, brilliant toddler. They're so good to/for me - I often feel undeserving. 
I've been in a depressive episode for almost 2 months - med compliant, have been for 3 years. 

Lately, I've been fucking up little, typical people things; scratched the car, got scammed out of $300, letting food go bad in the fridge... They're hitting my self-worth hard for no other reason than my low threshold for disappointment and my high expectations of myself. 

The latest thing is a creepy message left on my front door on Valentine's Day saying they saw me in the area and wanted to leave their number/Facebook in case they never saw me again.... WTF. Of course my husband is pissed, and I feel like my privacy has been 100% violated. Husband is SO upset that he has a hard time seeing how this affects me - but besides that, I feel like I'm way more trouble than I'm worth. 
My constant emotional turmoil, the fatigue, prescription drug costs, migraines that make me worthless for hours. 
I feel like I should just be alone. Like the people I love shouldn't be subjected to my bullshit and have to clean up my messes or pay my debt when I die (just got denied life insurance for BPD diagnosis). 
I have a lot of supportive people in my life, family, friends, therapist. Regardless, I can't shake this worthlessness, self-loathing guilt. 

Thanks for reading if you do, just having a rough... life right now. I know this probably sounds whiny - I have an objectively great life that I've worked hard for. Why do I still feel so shitty? ",6.182142857142857,6.9600141587301625,6.210912698412702,78.58589285714288,66.14285714285714,9.22063492063492,32.257936507936506,9.255337874911486,2.810526984126984,1320,52,241,23,20,418,187,315,0.202,0.64,0.157,-0.9038,1,1,1,0,0,0,60.0,1,1,3,1,13,27,3,4,15,0,23,11,1,5,1,36,47,15,1,6,7,2,10,4,1,2,7,2,2,1,10,8,1,0,8,1,5,5,5,17,0,0,8,15,34,10,33,33,5,37,0,6,3,2,13,18,2,6,17,143,44,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150925558629187,0.1049906550837572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464125289442291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255348569991495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10954694706818464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06537645113406708,0.0,0.08731141807460244,0.0,0.10520796636365712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175591520805791,0.0,0.0,0.11402967679978945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09556434979140063,0.0,0.2562832433542408,0.2172601903040776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12257923246939445,0.0,0.07831963285961115,0.093716633480612,0.0,0.0,0.11522390666164604,0.08502589064026686,0.16215264341435365,0.1117628125290675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27242777411594976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10710491567128966,0.0,0.0,0.09983084354024033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05571131268726469,0.0,0.11435185204603028,0.10733814263506487,0.11014080180972348,0.10365957553083076,0.28640771675756194,0.19810064400836846,0.20320243195405596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618271409025627,0.09149204428455787,0.0,0.06766649100400582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260126265748124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08091403630805659,0.0,0.1490399341937358,0.0,0.07818421312175926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21083541184325386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929599001468517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013992736167823,0.0,0.0,0.10422713596000856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657099829090162,0.0,0.08061495669673023,0.0,0.0,0.08078023258619174,0.0,0.2115058769902229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08095568313556092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11503556380727532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09332957141679317,0.0,0.11770052058497145,0.13469389344470972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059110735672744524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05979173825023978,0.08046424888081917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09147231908242236,0.0,0.0,0.0977188372199138,0.10993343728458374,0.07379990754945419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06528014196991272
bipolarreddit,twentyoneteacups,2018/02/15,Latuda isn't helping I'm on 120mg of Latuda and I feel like it's taken away the sparkly mania but now I'm bouncing between depressed as fuck and almost content. Is content what happy is on medication? Because it's literally breaking my heart.,2.798750000000002,5.371573041666667,5.116500000000002,75.47850000000003,79.0,5.506666666666668,32.516666666666666,6.742157984588678,2.396786666666667,198,11,31,2,5,69,37,48,0.199,0.674,0.127,-0.5919,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,0,3,3,1,0,0,5,8,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,2,2,6,7,0,5,0,1,0,1,1,3,1,1,2,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3364156622745593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31564571518966816,0.0,0.0,0.20479825089499296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28936207211891835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16987159751082262,0.24001007062490734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105898386942739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3576359346168867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39811451532321984,0.22518707467835095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16413320875562562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33844460832880097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,NA-OK,2018/02/15,"Tell me your stories about weaning off Wellbutrin XL Because I feel so fucking depressed and suicidal. I'm currently on 150mg, down from 300mg (name brand). I've been on it 2.5years. I cannot go back up to 300mg.",0.9536363636363632,3.287345272727272,2.323818181818183,94.07572727272728,84.9090909090909,5.3381818181818215,29.25454545454545,6.742157984588678,1.4534054545454542,168,9,36,2,5,54,37,44,0.203,0.797,0.0,-0.8636,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,6,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,4,0,8,5,0,8,0,1,0,1,3,5,1,0,2,18,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3405430328732491,0.0,0.2699720889673736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38144702279672704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22393057477691045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4094301938512444,0.0,0.0,0.25169569524995355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4844326499810677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3870916963815845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,misshome,2018/02/15,"As experts in psychiatry, what do you think about my sex life? The last year has been chaotic, but the next is looking stable and positive. The next priority is going to be repairing my bond with my husband. I basically shut down to emergency mode for a few months due to job loss and massive anxiety. Hubby took excellent care of me and the household during that time. Unfortunately, as I was coming out of it, he was heading into a pretty hefty depression. All of this, on top of some as-yet-unresolved body image issues developed (no pun intended) from my wedding pictures. I've been worried, and I think hubby too, that we've wandered into platonic territory, and I really want to reel that back. Hubby's depression is currently covering the fact that I'm having a hard time reengaging with him, but I think the problem is mine, because of my reaction to the wedding photos making me feel extremely unsexy, rather than being created/caused by him. 

Any ideas about how to feel sexy again? ",8.0527868852459,7.965368076502735,8.698912568306014,65.29000819672133,62.224043715846996,12.347322404371585,37.972131147540985,11.792908689023552,4.863120655737706,790,36,129,23,10,266,126,183,0.151,0.7070000000000001,0.142,0.19,2,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,3,7,6,0,0,10,0,13,4,2,3,2,28,26,10,0,3,3,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,11,0,0,6,0,0,3,1,4,0,0,5,4,16,2,27,19,3,22,0,3,1,1,7,8,0,1,11,89,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745978616813522,0.0,0.1321351232508882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281583934440644,0.0,0.10529233058516396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19185994685524368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17610594316571626,0.17743745822379672,0.0,0.1487883867829564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2975377653198316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746711832154299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816431932829743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15472881040647832,0.0,0.17726698384374318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949869337391892,0.0,0.180281349467845,0.17140417019131904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14079496295713206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12200167213752512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14504656399931734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529612600704547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786846025989538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673926938996649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17572471210475218,0.0,0.16527571253912607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065287102999816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3320280569816581,0.0,0.0,0.20143615332707152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19190524062899975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10187842882338644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17541191081870244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123005438356937
bipolarreddit,crazyruthie,2018/02/16,"Lowering the doses of my meds, fairly mild triggers For most of my life I have been on huge doses of a lot of medications which made me slow, clumsy, and stupid. I am not like any of those things naturally. 

I have been terrified of changing anything because it almost always leads to suicidal urges and self harm. When my previous psychiatrist changed me from risperdal to geodon  I had a manic episode that lasted several months. I ended up in the hospital, 5150, suicide attempt, lots of cutting. When she put me on serroquel, I had such bad vertigo and extreme sedation that I stumbled into a wall and broke my nose.

I changed to a new psychiatrist about 3 months ago. She wanted to to start reducing my meds. I was willing to try because of the effing side effects and also the fact that the meds don't begin to control my symptoms.

We lowered lamictal waaaay too fast, long story. I was off it for about 2 weeks after taking 400mg a day for many years. I just went nuts when it was all out of my system. I felt suicidal urges that seemed uncontrollable and like I might try, though it was against my will. I cut myself up. My dearest husband has worked from home for the last 3 weeks, keeping me safe. 

I'm now on 100mg of lamictal and I'm hypomanic. I feel awesome. Everything has calmed down and this dose feels good. 

I'm more alert and I have some energy. I'm scared about what it will be like to reduce some of my other meds, but I want to do it. 

Has anybody else had trouble changing meds or doses of meds? Is my body just freaky? These last few weeks have been hell. Sorry this is so long!",3.4634615384615373,5.2874234745222966,4.414904458598726,84.92023517883393,73.80891719745223,7.505928466438021,27.04507594316512,8.263242389622931,1.7970640862322385,1257,47,248,21,26,407,180,314,0.158,0.789,0.053,-0.9822,2,0,0,0,0,2,35.0,1,0,0,5,14,16,4,2,11,0,27,10,2,5,2,39,43,17,3,2,5,1,3,3,0,4,8,0,1,1,18,12,0,3,5,0,0,3,2,10,0,0,13,4,36,6,42,25,8,41,1,1,0,0,5,13,1,9,27,165,54,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07709187236002016,0.0,0.08708587561390885,0.0,0.0,0.06954826709091322,0.07236433132383083,0.0,0.0,0.059141212830626885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715672424358526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07261463576691353,0.1060297542795836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660182706612933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3680023911465037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754199148755206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05608715637462525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726505929269493,0.0,0.0770278222490966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07816121820937008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794725377018932,0.0,0.08350290509035534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294462060127678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723598102884074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773011420137338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21267154848576306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06142806055554635,0.1274644953076408,0.0,0.0,0.15392786201182365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478741436134946,0.0,0.08229121127818635,0.0,0.08817188777497884,0.0,0.0,0.579610962396776,0.08761109653410137,0.0,0.09225928985158054,0.0,0.0,0.13883403361878852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399422294030782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742684678389878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707012580825899,0.0,0.0,0.07917238828751713,0.09072657655105808,0.0982490698786613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735354030342756,0.06155638820760924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853865840667008,0.0,0.0,0.09039303704066784,0.06538910227355932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05777766560659878,0.0,0.08544560481634336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180911077132669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259194296964086,0.0,0.2092814179465823,0.0,0.0,0.08062019444144355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331372968946934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05600453171304555
bipolarreddit,DieZeitbombe,2018/02/16,"An IOP just started taking my insurance! I just finished up my most recent bout of psych testing. I just got word that an IOP in my area struck a deal with my brand of medicaid.  
I've been off meds for a couple weeks and have been drinking.  
I called in refills today and took my remaining lamotrigine.  
I'm really trying to be positive.",2.9813636363636387,5.117935924242428,4.612121212121213,81.58818181818184,76.12121212121212,8.036363636363637,26.15151515151515,8.841846274778883,2.211169696969697,265,10,50,6,6,89,49,66,0.032,0.906,0.062,0.4389,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,4,1,0,0,0,8,9,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,8,0,9,4,1,11,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,5,32,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2966059571762979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214034427237432,0.0,0.0,0.2994654609981645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845534808806121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23231822202678795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32265061595957656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18608478518166924,0.0,0.28680757384247235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055986638620803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21839994921798966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2753349479786449,0.0,0.32272678643830904,0.1972124637816178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23300034951075996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Shydudefrench3333,2018/02/16,"How do I take the next step to understanding myself? I'm using this account as it's kinda my throw away/ deep confession account. I'm going through some shit right now which is kinda relate to this, but for a while now I've been trying to understand if my 'normal' is really normal or if there's something I need to get checked out by a professional.

For as long as I can remember I've struggled to control my emotions in the context of what's around me, and most of the time I've been acting accordingly. If I'm at a party and I'm supposed to be having a good time, I might still be super upset about the fact that my favorite TV show has ended and what's going to fill that void. I attended my brothers funeral, carried the coffin even, and I wasn't that upset but people are watching so I tried my hardest to cry and look authentic. Later on of course I was distraught, but my emotions were always out of sync with reality.  

My mood guides everything I do. I'm of pretty normal intelligence I think, I went to school, am told that I'm pretty logical in my thinking, but I just can't seem to do the most basic things. I'll sometime go a couple of weeks without a shower (not proud to admit that) because when the opportunity presents itself to shower I'll be engrossed in something so deeply that the thought just gets shrugged of until next time, upon which is just repeated again. Sometimes that things I'm doing is just sitting down staring into space thinking, but it feels like important work. Other times I can't stand my own skin and shower three times a day. There's no normal middle ground!

My mood can often change at the drop of a hat too. I immerse myself in work and over extend what I can handle because it keeps my brain from being Moody or reacting to stuff around me, but someone will make a benign comment like they're going on holiday and if I get an envious thought in my head it just multiplies into this intense deep deep depression where I sneak out of work and drive somewhere (I'm trusted to manage my own time) to be alone and sink further and further. The scary thing is I sometimes embrace this mood, it's like I need it and it feels comfortable to be sitting in a car crying by myself. I'll carry this mood with me all day usually, acting normally in front of the family when I get home, and making an excuse to go to bed early because I know that also is the best chance I get to reset.  It's not working tonight though as it's 2am, and I've taken two tramadol to help sleep.

Other times I'm invincible. Right now despite a few big troughs in the last few days where I've been super depressed, I'm super super confident. For the first time in my career I've pushed myself and created a new role that is bigger than I ever thought I would get. It's a 'big' job, a Director role with a lot of responsibility, I'm so proud of myself I take on all these extra responsibilities and I'm totally overloading myself because I know I'm amazing. But I can't tell my family how happy I am because the mania I experience through the day rarely carried through to home. And if I'm not in the mood to be excited then I don't talk about it and my day was 'fine'.

I've done reading, enough to probably have the wrong idea about what I'm like. I fell like I have some level of bipolar but I don't want to go to my doctor and tell him that in case he just says that I'm normal and this is life pal, get used to it. I've never talked to anyone about this other than one close friend who is bipolar and we have similar thoughts.

The logical side in me says go to the doctor and explain myself, but I fear that the Dr won't be able to keep up with me when I talk. If I'm up then I can't get my words out quickly enough and just babble. If I'm down I'll think about every word and choose them so carefully I'll filter out crucial information because I don't want the Dr to think badly of me.

I want to be told that someone else is liked me, I want to hear that medication is there to help me, I want to stop being up and down all the time so I can focus on sitting out the other problems in my life like normal people do. I really just wanted to write all of this down, so I'm sure the post will get buried. ",5.858663976522378,5.113197748275862,6.806390315480559,79.23359867938373,66.91954022988506,9.427243824896065,30.92443140132061,8.656518465578396,2.2452890682318407,3331,108,682,44,47,1119,346,870,0.095,0.742,0.163,0.997,4,1,2,0,0,0,62.0,1,0,1,14,44,44,2,5,42,0,58,14,5,8,9,145,134,64,2,24,30,1,3,7,2,5,9,3,6,0,51,41,0,4,25,4,3,19,15,13,0,4,16,9,80,26,115,103,18,126,1,2,3,0,29,57,1,19,51,455,131,13,0.05341179429706351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05531851073740848,0.0,0.04271339260221192,0.04444289158478788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037346768458581266,0.0,0.0,0.09509564176473753,0.0,0.0,0.05018213895084368,0.0,0.0445966172259098,0.19535600431883215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05605238286892745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05962522677645305,0.0,0.0,0.05445688399534332,0.0,0.056502596215107816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059905869001210164,0.0,0.059099134481136927,0.1173406960213634,0.17223094337055206,0.0,0.09200700032598387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933846942911137,0.0,0.05465880974478818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04461870048344749,0.12016215910644898,0.04730699628674033,0.1103773227629207,0.0,0.035277986394581226,0.048314025824626274,0.04500174032707464,0.0,0.04800307670182298,0.05224698374230873,0.10070377227062204,0.060103117946920526,0.054013216082895964,0.038157396518003296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045432044943654465,0.0,0.0,0.041265819780226906,0.0,0.25114912226732666,0.0,0.21248607502012654,0.04479927895096053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05685784821750337,0.0,0.0,0.054815910251814925,0.0,0.060198974023759975,0.0,0.07160159969003696,0.0,0.10715276922293927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06029541445543829,0.0,0.0,0.053002964264773814,0.09494971378987364,0.0,0.0,0.05870745061314243,0.04353774112932856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545265977286468,0.182660133317234,0.0,0.0,0.047267757181754036,0.04485245510539748,0.0,0.0,0.04540879748752432,0.0,0.0,0.07130557488533952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05380676354853835,0.0,0.05666147315332167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920833738576896,0.04119446849456782,0.05158544376206072,0.11360809835704422,0.0,0.3663255260938913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03619321412379144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405802598699626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05115373455295677,0.108677993373554,0.05758694802275239,0.05110787372190781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0534262482871505,0.0,0.06843392622771384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06050515093154046,0.0912267609852127,0.0,0.08495040523494568,0.0,0.05405558734823362,0.0,0.048624091521344594,0.0,0.0,0.05482643929782735,0.0,0.0,0.0534503676561307,0.0,0.09051127996015627,0.08223801742810494,0.15847689088751885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0426547279204623,0.04465465165417637,0.0,0.055837604343145886,0.06114372581031105,0.0,0.0,0.05033998402236112,0.0,0.08031804426315152,0.12879113115951182,0.0933685248715269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10645326841003673,0.1711206055591484,0.05247681671037304,0.16961199406620128,0.2803036210280053,0.0,0.0,0.10207451672600704,0.0,0.07252620457089567,0.0,0.0521755619909759,0.1112071230626785,0.0,0.09226128237741914,0.05882554545675527,0.0,0.18902196076968267,0.0,0.0428437196353375,0.0,0.0,0.04951326842324669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05148706369804493,0.0,0.15553768951864844,0.0,0.0,0.03794220620939059,0.058397412339900236,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,showercurtaintom,2018/02/16,"Definitely depression, but could there be something else too? (Thanks in advance!) I'm in my early 20's, currently a full-time student, currently seeing a counselor at my university for the depression I had from October-early February.

Some background: *Had an emotionally and sometimes physically abusive father growing up

*had cycles of depression as a teen but nothing as bad as this past fall, never before gotten treatment for it.

*used to have anger issues that I've been working on and have mostly gotten better.

*I used to be and still have worries in the back of my mind about some new super bug plague wiping out humanity, apocalyptic scenarios (before dystopian books were a thing-- or at least before it was on my radar), generally was and am irritable at times (can't stand foot/leg bouncers/tappers and gum smacking--as a result I feel pretty trapped in lecture halls). Something that also seems to stand out to me is that a year or two ago I got uncontrollably angry (literally shaking mad) at my roommate for no reason and had to go on a really long walk.

Currently: During my depressed period I had foggy cotton ball brain, couldn't concentrate, trouble sleeping and staying asleep, the irritability, suicidal thoughts all the time, racing thoughts.

Early last week I kinda started feeling better, one day everything looked more vivid. That sounds weird, but color had a touch more color, bright things were more bright. The next day I was so elated and have been ecstatic each morning. Waking up has been easy for the first time in a long time. I'm not riddled with self doubt or constantly wondering if I'm annoying people by talking to them. I'm actually excited for my future. I got cheap new clothes that fit so I don't have to wear my sweatpants every day any more.

Today I woke up early, did a bunch of errands, got more clothes, ran for the first time since September, did my usual short workout routine twice, and even went to an event at my university.

It's nice to finally be happy, but it feels wrong to be THIS happy so suddenly after having suicidal thoughts all day every day.

I meant to talk to my counselor about all this this morning but she was out sick---so instead I am asking for any personal experience or thoughts on this to see if I might be way off base or not here. ",7.0949133261105075,7.776136631455401,7.336619718309863,71.64546045503796,64.14084507042253,10.121921271217047,35.163958107620076,10.035473477838034,3.6620194293968935,1839,80,308,38,26,597,237,426,0.172,0.6829999999999999,0.145,-0.9514,3,1,2,0,0,0,63.0,0,0,1,7,13,24,3,3,19,0,37,5,5,4,4,56,68,28,2,4,14,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,16,14,0,0,11,3,1,8,7,14,0,5,30,13,27,10,53,30,14,77,0,4,8,0,9,24,0,15,41,207,43,4,0.0,0.1005459034889512,0.08281167877653453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752237785093463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06786297023535348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541620039967658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933318119888796,0.0,0.0,0.06525254314733198,0.07085503452241916,0.0,0.0,0.2166302941670856,0.0,0.0,0.15010456286865648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473246547494084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170413304282844,0.0,0.06775426303829535,0.0,0.0,0.27364024891240674,0.0,0.2923611515814392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070890120366874,0.09545672364169068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056049608677880884,0.0,0.1429973869224906,0.0,0.07626721192014388,0.08300992467659156,0.0,0.0,0.12872416771547193,0.0,0.0,0.09296061068249876,0.0,0.14436472150342852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04822821972225837,0.0,0.2036122591667578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180671317643397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08857239161290761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917269386419903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501978748722094,0.07126150933846664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002365843203995,0.08568498854151052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06544970602881338,0.16391774201616288,0.09025018299412664,0.0,0.0,0.08142600929555721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05750372103847914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100901989813429,0.05883163695342125,0.0740969798464745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08633371151564194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05436385657690912,0.08725080340943164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135245780819504,0.07725387927774277,0.08852808591178264,0.0,0.0,0.07019754360002846,0.0,0.08492185912501965,0.0,0.0,0.13065963129908245,0.08392927740056652,0.0,0.06006475093431396,0.09045008064786253,0.06776976388228953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18564738869070607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13641542957189254,0.0,0.07812821500820663,0.0,0.0,0.11275518903162172,0.0,0.0,0.26947926642281045,0.24741441516479945,0.0,0.08043790150768476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289644991166255,0.0,0.0,0.14658457870963176,0.09346193306601183,0.0,0.0,0.0673583735744374,0.06807003361831232,0.0,0.0,0.07866660212534493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202767241268743,0.06177950843533021,0.08618003195817911,0.0,0.0,0.09278171585085207,0.0,0.05464742728555903
bipolarreddit,mrsmanicpanic,2018/02/16,"(Content Warning) Florida and Media Representation of Mental Illness Reading of the news of another mass casualty in the US yesterday was first heartbreaking, then infuriating.  Every news outlet I saw pointed toward the focus on mental illness.    POTUS went as far as saying that he wanted to tackle the complex problem of ""mental illness"". 

1) WTF does that mean?
Is he referring to ensuring that healthcare is readily available to Americans living with mental illnesses? Or that those who have mental illnesses will be receiving assistance in obtaining treatment?

2) Why is it that the only time people speak to mental health as an issue, as  a priority, is when a lot of people are dead? Why is the culpability always on mental illness and never on a negligent gun legislation? 

Here in Canada, we have a make shift day of awareness that has its own set of problems because it is funded by a corporation that doesn't respect the mental health of its own employees.   We're trying, but we do have basic mental health coverage and care that isn't always afforded elsewhere.  

Folks outside of North America, is this the same portrayal? ",6.5070114213198,8.986748187817257,7.660605964467006,62.06979219543149,67.12182741116753,10.204187817258882,35.15513959390863,10.411451182825502,4.675071319796954,911,45,122,26,16,308,124,197,0.135,0.8290000000000001,0.036000000000000004,-0.9396,2,0,0,1,0,0,23.0,3,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,14,0,18,9,0,1,1,20,24,11,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,9,2,0,0,15,6,0,0,3,1,1,2,3,3,0,1,3,3,4,2,26,19,4,21,0,1,1,0,9,11,0,2,7,91,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15157090976377474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550481558646218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05552122856724826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286163833790438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0587387540397645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970429963700547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673842181617367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07747219115346045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904398044564779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506335318620583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042488270622475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07743254884003653,0.0,0.0,0.060796285250593614,0.0,0.0,0.09921229555587552,0.0,0.0,0.8260805846029019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024613885715289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06927007734478953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262861390639179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609958364586356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743015955958451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110416502377727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243008806986195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05310919916210624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06183701384254095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10955744536298714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053721059276964855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08443162531371216,0.1643701962656538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,zappmusic,2018/02/17,"Boy did I screw up Wow. Did I mess up. 

A little background. Diagnosed as bipolar at 18 after a difficult junior high and high school experience. Struggled throughout my early 20s and finally got my life under control by my late 20s. Met an amazing woman and got married. Managed to find a meaningful career and had a few years of amazing success. Two wonderful kids. 

About 4 years ago my career started going south. There are several reasons, one of which was a move to different state then most of my freelance work. My wife also got very sick when pregnant with our second child and I ended up getting into a bad pattern of care taking without taking care of myself. Especially when it came to sleep. 

As the money stopped coming in, I started selling some stocks that I owned prior to our relationship. I ended up selling almost all of it and cashing out the majority of our small but important IRA over the course of 2-3 years. I never shared any of this with my wife and never reported any of the money as income. 

Fast forward to 2017. Almost all of the stock is gone (and I still haven’t told anyone). We are practically broke and borrowing money from family members repeatedly. A few weeks ago my wife demanded access to my brokerage account. She decided the best way to fix our finances was for her to take complete control. The jig was up. My huge violation of trust was revealed. 

I truly believe that deep down I am a good person. I have a good heart and I am a very caring and loving father and husband. But with my terrible actions and hiding and lying about it, it is clear that I am sick and need help. I don’t know what caused this manic episode, but I am sure the fact that I sleep 5-6 hours a night so she can get a full 8-10 hours of sleep every day didn’t help. 

She says she loves me, but hates my guts right now. She says she loves me but is terrified and feels like unsafe. She says she doesn’t know if she can stand to have me in the house or will ever be able to see me as a romantic partner again. 

I haven’t been in therapy since my psych died in 2011. I’ve been seeing a nurse practitioner once every three months to keep my prescriptions up. But clearly need to find a new doctor pronto and get intensive therapy. Not just medication management. 

If I didn’t have children, I can’t imagine what I’d do to myself. But I love them and I love her so much. I know I have a chronic illness and this is a major “flare up.” I just can’t imagine how I can live without my family.

We are seeing a couples therapist next week. I am so ashamed of my actions and my lying. I’m not sure what to do. ",2.7656730368021343,4.722573485604606,4.341569306517567,84.10869544354503,76.1401151631478,7.064024034048235,25.721480430610036,7.967736418589885,1.6071478427772674,2050,75,399,33,46,685,271,521,0.119,0.701,0.18,0.9897,2,0,0,0,0,0,51.0,6,0,1,5,16,30,3,2,28,0,40,20,5,5,10,80,78,42,1,4,16,5,1,1,1,1,9,3,0,7,15,29,0,4,13,0,9,8,14,10,0,4,18,7,67,20,60,58,12,72,0,1,3,6,44,27,1,8,37,273,82,14,0.0736587129501042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058800943568644,0.0,0.14751712208097642,0.0,0.0,0.058904846134038326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10018090134193006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051503884745094285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06150194858684165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082988145729599,0.07730027485967939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08424594470988926,0.22529990084553184,0.07566778842605833,0.0,0.06345045901833914,0.077229759112525,0.0,0.16522901980206575,0.0,0.08150196486817893,0.0,0.0475037762195329,0.0,0.0,0.07476204314062894,0.07644611483120134,0.07695767757497063,0.0,0.07539281389134532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13047951321898307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06662852290427028,0.12412128506940495,0.0,0.0,0.0720523552640706,0.1388777582235657,0.0,0.03724405846426244,0.052621799249261206,0.0,0.0806895196273943,0.1346454583925932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545091209550012,0.0,0.04186194403525028,0.123562867417164,0.17673480479305068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07272272942778417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728592949874886,0.09874376526284688,0.1556489487515065,0.0,0.0,0.14507798967605898,0.08499226513631263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654712484834774,0.0,0.0,0.12144270688684633,0.0,0.08309023655542412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052027327303595834,0.035985926502116114,0.07382538121421757,0.06504199302512137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33239932132813943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420340400760163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05879368193166045,0.07828755483000154,0.05414762929846336,0.10923400465267888,0.11362028068547042,0.07114004396370327,0.07833687686231501,0.06912371232561433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07844412533152964,0.049913050197465086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06431594699902668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573342475402528,0.0,0.0790818917046202,0.0,0.06290413839501907,0.0,0.1757290949465419,0.0,0.07454654995650895,0.17608937278655634,0.0,0.0,0.08321337951454241,0.0,0.06093124852046325,0.0,0.22113572517504354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042720322907974,0.0,0.058823943310791625,0.061581982245121986,0.0,0.07700407979664889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13884493048082408,0.0,0.1661465555956384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16847031535786267,0.08552344297987563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07038405679862103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0719538595226514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12155230469661525,0.0,0.05846685780891892,0.11816915300700052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200874153319826,0.07987973212405917,0.05362442029871307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423013884323009
bipolarreddit,thoroughembarassment,2018/02/17,"Need resources for my SO on my BPII/Lamictal I'm a 27 year old female who was diagnosed with BPII when I was 20. I was on Lamictal (350mg/day) for several years, which did wonderful things for me. I also was briefly on lithium, welbutrin, seroquel, trazodone, and propranolol but always found Lamictal to be the most effective. 

Last Spring, my boss decided to lay several people off including myself, which meant I lost my health insurance plan. He didn't honor our Cobra agreement and subsequently my normally $30 refills skyrocketed to $800 per refill. I obviously couldn't afford this and thus went off Lamictal for 9 months. It was horrible, I was suicidal, had raging fits of crying and lashing out at people. I self harmed. I tried to walk onto a freeway. 

My boyfriend has been extremely patient and supportive but doesn't understand what I'm going through. I recently got a healthcare plan again with Kaiser and am now titrating back up (I am on 25mg/day now, going up to 50mg in two days, eventually back to my normal 350). I don't know if it's because I'm older now, or that I stopped drinking, or that I'm also on hormonal birth control (Ortho) this time, but the side effects have been way more intense than I recall when starting last time. My night terrors are insane. Like, I wake up sweating and panting, and it ruins my day as I'm gripped with whatever got to me in the dream. I get headaches, I have shitty coordination, I feel lazy and unmotivated, uninspired, my speech is slurred and I have no memory. I'll be talking and mid-sentence just... not know what I was trying to get at. 

My boyfriend has my testimony to go off of, but he really wants good resources to understand BPII and mostly Lamictal, and what to expect in supporting me as I get back up to my therapeutic dose. ",6.2827694235588964,6.813042172514624,7.081311612364246,73.29973684210529,65.87134502923976,10.607852965747703,35.58395989974937,10.504223727775694,3.8834977443609016,1421,66,256,35,21,473,197,342,0.161,0.753,0.086,-0.9855,1,0,1,0,0,0,54.0,1,0,0,7,13,11,1,1,6,0,26,6,2,5,1,50,54,27,1,7,9,0,2,1,0,0,3,1,0,1,14,17,1,2,11,2,0,5,6,5,0,1,18,3,38,6,44,33,3,53,0,2,0,0,6,21,0,6,27,167,52,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18484048041353784,0.09616240868529796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665955685787511,0.0,0.07044960118685774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962011363621734,0.0,0.0,0.12694678005701504,0.2981289789942003,0.0,0.0,0.11729978836856784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321331943548887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05843500247347306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12671510425137988,0.0,0.0,0.18113961292211905,0.0,0.19704105063561989,0.09693353464794577,0.1848616787228036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12284411398884815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12702706006342074,0.18840781535224135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056461024680732726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615687786561294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224582633489868,0.0,0.0,0.08569271979571662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10845338739328776,0.2264655586782948,0.0,0.0,0.12126990015359243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16024155736584803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403626257411934,0.0,0.11411013976514578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056334900517066,0.2611194503641017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818001141131475,0.0,0.0,0.09662060025676476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264133900789399,0.2622919613329557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09288973592829812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677870286786627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477806586329366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15692710972764853,0.0,0.1128938180358786,0.2406221655552648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816540806213812,0.09173304740563358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713333412110457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253293152444363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488448954974332
bipolarreddit,loveforsquirrels,2018/02/17,"little pity party I don't want to be bipolar anymore. I don't want to be on meds. It's not fair that some people are able to just exist with a stable mood & appropriately reactive ups & downs. It's not fair & it makes me feel angry sometimes. I don't want anymore med changes. I don't want to live the rest of my life this way.

I am depressed. I am whiny. I am pathetic. My sincere apologies. I'm actually in the process of a med change to try & get stable. I'm just feeling really sad & angry right now. I don't want to live this way.",-0.14245421245421142,2.017270829059832,2.39407203907204,92.78326923076928,88.57264957264955,5.052258852258851,20.322954822954824,6.5431188927421005,0.2181262515262521,425,14,96,5,14,146,66,117,0.241,0.667,0.092,-0.9314,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,4,0,11,2,0,1,0,14,22,0,0,5,4,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,0,2,11,1,13,20,2,9,0,3,0,0,1,6,0,1,1,52,17,0,0.11768880731705834,0.0,0.11484729912689512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6375788677908418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23343134586526204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489983063249745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10136519729108368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190139942650094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06148754439677246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312708507956297,0.0,0.11795510289073195,0.2078427460397306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855819275270226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39217720166043785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08159060059085567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539446356144966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10050559840804954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11639723973158167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799029748720777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470795388372797,0.18683179457042007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ParticularLaw,2018/02/17,"Unsure if I'm bipolar/borderline/neither... I know no one can make a diagnosis except a doctor, but I was just wondering what others experiences are. I have been on mood stabilizers for about 2 months now. They have really seemed to help me, and I have been practicing meditation/DBT/mindfulness(which goes along with the DBT).

I was diagnosed as bipolar in December when I was baker acted in late November because I was contemplating suicide. Okay, I've been missing my medications, and I've been contemplating going out and doing drugs and having sex; I'm also extremely irritable, and I just want to push people out of my life. I can't stop thinking about these two guys I have a crush on, and I almost want them to stop talking to me by messaging them to delete me from their phones/ off their messaging apps etc. I've done this kind of stuff all my life; well since I was a teenager (I'm 25 now)... I'd just randomly push people away(mostly guys I'd have a crush on)... It's like I was upset with myself for thinking about them so much, and I figured the only way to make it stop was to push them away, but I'd almost regret it afterwards. When it came to female friends I'd just disappear on them for months at a time. Also, I'd have impulse control issues during these phases, but it would only come on randomly like spending money, overeating, sex, drugs, drinking, etc. 

It's weird because in daily life most people would never guess I have these issues since I'm really nice, and I try to keep these problems to myself and my mom and my therapist. Right now though I'm feeling all the urges associated with my manic episodes, and I'm not sure what to do. I started taking my medicine tonight, so I'm hoping it will help. I'm on Lamictal and Trileptal if anyone is interested... Does this sound familiar to anyone else?  I know all experiences are different, but I've asked other friends and family members before if they ever have these type of experiences and they just look at me like I'm crazy. ",6.012962003454227,6.579684005181347,6.7928626943005215,75.00730785837655,66.46113989637306,9.956649395509501,31.368307426597585,9.928628108626363,3.0273198618307418,1590,59,292,34,24,527,188,386,0.103,0.769,0.128,0.8793,1,0,3,0,0,1,58.0,0,0,10,1,23,18,0,1,9,1,31,12,0,3,6,70,62,29,1,10,14,1,1,3,2,3,9,1,0,2,19,22,1,5,8,1,2,8,4,5,1,2,13,3,41,12,45,46,7,43,0,2,1,2,22,17,0,12,20,195,60,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18382819558066288,0.0,0.0,0.1468083355074246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283629461383869,0.09404936644491464,0.0,0.0,0.08581095287994206,0.0,0.17247883726272192,0.0,0.0,0.11190826451289587,0.0,0.07810625047518091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498293203216162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906867504982495,0.0,0.0,0.10294992248798863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316458519927848,0.0,0.09590067108901164,0.0,0.09395061903246026,0.08032576076544834,0.0939327034284068,0.0,0.08991893413396031,0.21289375708793945,0.0,0.07667849299027625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2047394961760815,0.0,0.08302901362848902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693637376194257,0.08653113394698578,0.0,0.046411616272095065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14183294620738576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05216618604635278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111667246743626,0.18177241340320524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12304936496216068,0.0,0.0,0.09116785565708647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19160914029413784,0.0,0.08158687819658147,0.0,0.09558481869659716,0.10089040674743137,0.0,0.10354274840021302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19450128020775592,0.13453139219088892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708020688930131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12254063800090907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246843805136444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10750295479203556,0.146531281366888,0.0,0.06747597057542372,0.0,0.07079385391044032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062199057467311476,0.1396203639287311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909062040687707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783031989887387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760562893344476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838787859056172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0835618702579904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15185873086441054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06496920247340493,0.0,0.0,0.2302208282680645,0.0,0.0,0.10507721426545358,0.10040300339957736,0.0,0.0865106798307854,0.0,0.06901441018334327,0.07377706164173595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065748841968744,0.0,0.11763023137553436,0.09018288696621957,0.0,0.05352329605515083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062319162240772163,0.0,0.08966517224931178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827985378958084,0.07285836939243531,0.0,0.0,0.08252993886956105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09954198409437487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13040949921621653,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MinuteDesk,2018/02/17,"Someone in my life's illness has got much worse. I'd like to know what to expect Hi

I was involved with someone's life for a long time. This person was diagnosed with Bipolar with serious manic episodes, and treated for about 13 years. The meds were hard to take and she was a bit up and down with them. There were some serious manic episodes that led to dangerous situations. There was little I could do, but I did help keep her on track and try to keep her honest with the meds.

I realise that it must be so awful to have to take dulling medication, and I'm really sympathetic to how these manic events and dropping off Lithium built up. I don't want to sound judgemental.

Fast forward to now. As of three years ago I no longer have any influence or connection, but have stepped in to help in a really bad episode. It's become clear that she has not really taken her medication seriously for three years. She's been totally freewheeling. The illness I saw in her recently was very different to what I knew from before. I had seen her as driven and worked up, but her moods were cycling from extremes within minutes. It was frightening.

I have read up as much as I can on bipolar and rapid cycling. I get the picture that some people advance towards this after every major episode, and that it tends to be progressive, and not go back to being a single flavour at a time so to speak.

Can anyone who has experienced bipolar progressing like this (in yourself or in a loved one) give me a perspective? I'm concerned that she's progressed past some kind of horizon and things are going to be harder for her even on Lithium now. Just a gut feeling.

I would appreciate hearing relevant experiences. Thank you. Keep up the fight guys, you're all doing great in this forum.",5.167190265486727,6.491159970501478,5.652083333333334,79.69812500000002,68.76401179941003,8.835840707964602,31.23414454277286,9.188382445141503,2.7292958702064896,1406,58,261,27,24,452,186,339,0.109,0.764,0.127,0.911,1,0,0,0,1,0,33.0,0,1,1,6,11,16,2,0,13,1,32,12,1,3,4,44,56,23,0,5,8,0,2,2,0,2,10,3,0,2,19,16,0,3,3,1,0,7,4,7,0,3,18,9,28,8,55,31,10,44,0,1,2,1,25,22,0,5,18,187,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057246020187651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110687933774653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339552368745111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171035132337596,0.09958447281371116,0.0,0.13172302795523966,0.10148897104026527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13021064797921206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522643819212677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210553295254185,0.0,0.12461051928215945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07877592282924495,0.0,0.10048911475661433,0.0,0.0,0.11666778010825254,0.0,0.0,0.06030589294857135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06231302953845106,0.11441350851956918,0.1355664242677148,0.0,0.09539016116591592,0.13149428186947565,0.0,0.11809487132952975,0.0,0.0,0.10684142518144456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13442461480238718,0.0,0.15988673583986726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3180347898478222,0.0,0.12420010994728893,0.06554701772481245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16848617256798565,0.11653743017153476,0.11953867865028985,0.0,0.10554914190434894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764475577991776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649615169069017,0.2403015526783103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17535259424132812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081963099787565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385557277738102,0.08268597411974095,0.1041409227281456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193010838274804,0.0,0.2292199573603507,0.0,0.11776355919805605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13406313735263334,0.0,0.0,0.2021121479431336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17935060085067,0.0,0.0,0.10980669413133598,0.0,0.0,0.07923689637870084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13909320215151874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08097569161788225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840925743524996,0.0703478331032346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08682911270441827,0.0,0.12154510476540985,0.08472513920979792,0.0,0.0,0.2304156059003585
bipolarreddit,edken181,2018/02/17,"I'm new here: hello I'm new to reddit in general, but especially new to this sub. I'm 21 and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder fairly recently. it explains a lot but also makes so many things more confusing. 

it's meant so much to me to be able to come onto r/bipolarreddit and see so many behaviors, thoughts and feelings i thought made me so alone are actually shared by other people. i thought that would annoy me but it's actually such a comfort to know i'm not just completely misdiagnosed and being mislead.

I'm going to try and frequent here more often. right now i'm in a sort of mixed depressive episode where i'm not completely useless but i can feel myself falling into that... I'm going to try and reach out, even if it's just to strangers on the internet, rather than withdraw completely this time.

but i also could just be kidding myself and a week from now laugh that i ever even typed this.

we'll see. either way, thank you for being here.",3.4408531746031734,5.369408333333336,4.87507605820106,81.15007440476192,74.13227513227513,8.111243386243386,28.2146164021164,8.841846274778883,2.374071164021164,761,31,144,16,16,254,112,189,0.1,0.794,0.106,0.0567,0,1,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,1,0,0,21,8,1,1,5,0,10,2,0,2,1,42,34,19,0,4,13,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,12,11,0,0,8,0,0,4,2,4,0,0,6,4,12,4,21,21,5,23,0,2,2,0,6,8,0,5,10,100,24,1,0.13047964725128272,0.0,0.25465862760371105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351375639496197,0.0,0.2086890535317053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239666264944084,0.4104162829913882,0.0,0.0,0.10417738110462188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11238192898382976,0.13243409538505446,0.0,0.0,0.14954097997647312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723611528532221,0.1180263110395672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194886024997368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483091808751097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07170820179173483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109291300966994,0.0,0.12346299709504956,0.08709617773129688,0.2645717654447234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09591755391032428,0.0,0.0,0.3780541691563027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904581584843037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12883291047870898,0.0,0.0,0.11142890582391513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20795077120478872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12012812869551005,0.0,0.0,0.08668487983281348,0.0,0.0,0.3107587955984656,0.07608373160175085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17717423114926334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10356867066040493,0.10466290261398377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268899776334406,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ShotGunSinner13,2018/02/18,"i kind of want to go off my meds i want a reset. i want to be my true self and not have these pills change my brain. i miss the fun parts of mania, and i truly miss not knowing what's going on half the time.

before meds i was either too manic to feel any worry or realize what's happening, or i was too depressed to plan on living much longer. either way, responsibility was never on my mind. neither was my job, or money, or food, or anything real adults have to deal with. i was completely unaware of how life really is and i want that back!

i'm feeling super restless right now and it's coming out of nowhere. i don't know if i've ever wanted to go off my meds before? i honestly can't remember. i don't know why i'm feeling this way, because i know without my meds i'm a literal mess and i'm reckless and destructive and irresponsible and overall a huge danger to myself in many ways. but i'm so tired of reality right now, i just want it to end. if i can't go into an alternate world maybe letting my mind become an alternate world again is the next best thing? does anyone else ever get tired of living in reality?

i've been on meds for 7 years and i'm still not used to the stress of responsibilities and real life on medication. ",2.4392524916943508,3.9201356937984495,4.751816168327796,82.87662790697676,75.78294573643413,7.394905869324473,23.52602436323367,8.11559375814309,1.2641326688815062,971,29,203,16,21,340,137,258,0.135,0.762,0.103,-0.9072,1,0,0,0,0,1,23.0,0,0,0,3,12,14,2,2,9,0,16,8,1,2,4,54,45,20,0,8,15,0,3,0,0,0,6,0,0,2,8,14,1,0,9,0,1,5,10,8,0,1,6,3,24,6,30,37,6,36,0,3,0,0,3,16,0,7,12,128,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06061113345819631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062321436323390315,0.09132373131780484,0.07334600483993106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853510317431545,0.0,0.05433253123828001,0.09843655793568568,0.15168532234216395,0.0,0.0935359377509274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949802692935823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428721941581997,0.07677719381697623,0.09345061132035176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188862672674553,0.07676712937668424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799784805928077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744562813806898,0.0,0.07894230420510517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16124551645186513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13519969781849756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10777577555586512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04656649818583099,0.0,0.20261745244874368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788169447022689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844730076288684,0.0,0.0,0.09281468478388802,0.19593302425366124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911409781376832,0.12590963892043394,0.0,0.0,0.15740600720599404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036334903201043,0.08954258779799243,0.0,0.4950140479346594,0.08978861964929798,0.0,0.0,0.17999082478435388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06552045633233818,0.0,0.06874218442774589,0.0,0.09479026110963497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0965185900880973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028978250288607,0.057098656079038884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096637719001092,0.15223225490136713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09298153311955264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117895388819978,0.0,0.102097569879218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05921369605682261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05197214285379394,0.20488255526817448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769792926150415,0.0,0.0,0.3154254190665701,0.21224060518935836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042553320329446,0.0,0.0,0.08591768161399695,0.0,0.0,0.0905153592019211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057396491946227327
bipolarreddit,OneBipolarBoi,2018/02/18,seroquel vs abilify? what are your experiences with these two drugs? is abilify as sedating as seroquel?,4.953333333333333,8.37716629411765,6.055294117647063,61.74215686274514,91.94117647058823,11.678431372549019,40.96078431372549,9.725611199111238,7.087172549019607,85,6,11,4,3,28,14,17,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6426863070000141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5421057217719502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5413646619579049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Narcissus87,2018/02/18,"Lamictal literally saved my life but one side effect is.... Within ten months I tried to end my life twice. After seeking treatment, I finally got lucky and a new doctor diagnosed me correctly as Bipolar Type 2. I've been on Lamictal for about two years now and I can't begin to describe how it saved me.

I'm now an advocate for mental health in my day job, fighting to protect what little protection our healthcare system provides (I'm an American, clearly).

Anyway, about four months ago I started noticing a very small and slight downgrade in my vision. It doesn't effect my driving ability, but it does mean I have trouble tracking fast movements on my television.

Action scenes are generally fine if a bit hard to track, but 2d sidescrollers like Mario are a MESS (let alone Sonic, lol). Its almost like I see objects ""trail"" behind me. I'm worried that the symptoms will get worse. 

I take about 250MG daily, so a relatively low dose from what I gather.

How can I treat my loss of vision, if indeed it is the Lamictal? I went to an optometrist and he confirme that my eyesight is largely fine, so its not that.",5.307142857142857,6.725194476190481,5.771904761904763,78.61642857142857,68.52380952380952,8.266666666666667,32.09523809523809,8.648137234880735,2.7047523809523817,880,38,154,14,15,283,140,210,0.122,0.726,0.152,0.708,1,1,0,0,2,1,32.0,1,0,0,3,10,13,1,0,10,1,12,8,0,4,2,22,23,14,0,2,6,0,1,2,0,1,8,0,0,0,11,4,0,2,3,0,0,4,3,5,0,5,3,2,22,8,20,18,1,28,0,2,1,0,4,9,0,4,16,97,33,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250027643316116,0.0,0.17227004219750044,0.1781782801692081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878196695206895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11094952800648324,0.0,0.0,0.1746137688279696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17608699311963133,0.1505505959289927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237357488444533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18845794650843214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988214709301888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375935749015543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541112150206183,0.0,0.0,0.18286711357506072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17072001560918768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759193223093907,0.2430294122764599,0.16809701788061504,0.17242610698490435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18739855048529447,0.0,0.0,0.17337266881563412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27463632490752626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16615424979389048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958650798723668,0.0,0.0,0.11657661351342374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13709108589134816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176855912966095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788121460062463,0.1293502916347048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11680171994311846,0.0,0.1680549924155371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14194840818406734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15947987202852432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17471175946058154,0.17532023504361488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11078608297206696
bipolarreddit,Rogue_Teller,2018/02/18,"Anyone else not sleeping too well at the moment? (lamictal/quetiapine combo) On low starting doses of quetiapine and lamictal which are working, slowly. After three nights of beautiful, undisturbed sleep on quetiapine my sleep pattern got fucked up and now I'm back down to my usually horrific sleep pattern. I need to hit the reset button somewhere. 

Any of you guys had experiences with this combination before?",7.255652173913043,10.258706956521742,7.70659420289855,60.29293478260871,66.39130434782608,10.397101449275363,36.13768115942029,10.504223727775694,5.009828985507247,336,17,43,10,6,110,55,69,0.168,0.782,0.05,-0.8471,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,1,4,3,1,0,2,0,2,6,4,0,0,5,8,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,2,0,4,1,12,5,0,13,0,1,0,1,2,6,1,0,7,30,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12862476396077252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13225425065381938,0.19380091931247664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14544046556897774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609480607719618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15800598127064094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18501964076020674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748610667770895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512761564041071,0.0,0.0,0.18728281834743568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024826964758133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17749932497868642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7571244970629782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13387746927268238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20831597363808174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17006364453386769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13769946788387208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thisfightisnotover,2018/02/18,How do I stop eating ?!?!?! I gained a lot of weight on Latuda. I got put on Abilify when I was hospitalized recently and developed some really really disordered habits to lose the weight. I'm down 17lbs but all of a sudden instead of next to nothing I'm going way over my (healthy) calorie limit for the day. I don't know what to do. I'm panicking. I can't gain weight again.,1.3543421052631572,3.5983854868421083,3.796578947368424,84.76355263157895,82.28947368421052,8.010526315789475,22.657894736842106,8.841846274778883,1.8752421052631576,291,10,60,8,8,101,53,76,0.16899999999999998,0.8059999999999999,0.025,-0.8905,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,4,4,1,0,0,4,0,5,4,0,1,1,9,11,4,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,2,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,2,3,7,0,11,9,3,14,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,2,7,37,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12559012122092586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2231870129270027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992659418251268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067428832676478,0.0,0.15575004293931727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702310070979848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178623941760184,0.0,0.16555957568800414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207106437512256,0.0,0.0,0.1868566926577885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19576582225374986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495087387424711,0.0,0.19228062074328234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16280997492594332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15457423270298834,0.0,0.7114165185030571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,judginurrelationship,2018/02/19,"I had to quit my job Rant incoming. I just need to get this out and share. 

I'm medicated and pretty well stable for the last 5 years. 

My job was so incredibly stressful the last few months. I was coming home every day, with no energy to cook dinner or clean, and mostly just spending my evenings watching tv and or crying. I didn't know what to do. There's an extra element of stress to a stressful job when you're bipolar, as I don't know if the job is really the problem, or if I'm going into an episode. 

My 1-up manager was away on a Friday, so I spoke to my 2-up manager and said I wasn't coping with the stress and would like to hand in my resignation. I didn't ask for any special treatment, just offered my resignation. He asked me to just think about it for the weekend and we'd discuss it again on the Monday. 

On the Monday, he brought my 1-up into the discussion. They offered me some leniencies, and said they'd figured the job might actually be a 2 person job back when they hired me, and they'd reassess the business plan and asked if I'd be happy to stay if the job was cut in half. I said I couldn't offer a commitment, but I'd be willing to try. 

At the end of that week, I heard from one of my colleagues that my 1 up had told him that I ""spat the dummy"" and ""didn't want to do the hard work anymore"". I was furious. I was humiliated. Not only was my supposedly confidential conversation with management not confidential, but it was totally changed to make me look like a whiner. 

I spoke to my partner and he agreed this was not on and that I need to get out of that place. So I took a week of stress leave (sick leave officially). During my week off sick, I received 47 (not a typo!) calls from work from people expecting me to do things and make decisions. While I was sick! 

I realised the only time I was badly stressed during that week was when I woke up and had that instant dread of thinking I had to go to work, and when I received a call. Otherwise I felt ok. I called up on the last day and resigned. 

Today is my 5th day of unemployment and I am so, so happy. I feel almost back to normal again. I still get stressed if I think about having to apply for jobs, but that's ok, because I've decided to give myself at least 6 weeks off to decompress from that stressful job before I start looking again. 

*The point of this message*: no job is worth more than your mental health. Save money! Be prepared to be unemployed for a while if you need to, because shitty jobs will come along, and you need to be able to get out. I've never in my life been so happy to have some savings, and I don't mind if I blow through it all over the next 6 months. I'm just happy to be out.",3.8322162162162168,4.400635248648651,5.164144144144147,84.7548648648649,71.2882882882883,8.162162162162161,27.07207207207207,8.27314431278463,1.5815585585585592,2093,67,452,30,37,701,245,555,0.149,0.757,0.094,-0.9835,15,0,0,0,0,0,67.0,1,3,4,5,26,29,2,9,30,2,47,11,2,2,4,88,89,46,0,17,22,0,4,2,1,4,7,6,2,2,18,32,2,0,10,3,3,8,14,16,1,2,32,13,63,13,76,42,9,69,0,3,3,0,38,25,0,15,37,308,81,20,0.0528888554631554,0.0,0.05161189362291819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052960548967007005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03596623535107855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052451532960043054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483318211620988,0.0,0.049690820702293255,0.08133653043390003,0.04415998514276621,0.06448111078746217,0.0,0.04500452055087529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16201630426925956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055949396268047916,0.0911181317643986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05809592425694955,0.10232680916367004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04684382769636696,0.0,0.0,0.034932590226738516,0.0,0.044561141805340085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02674219445447016,0.0,0.05078159532472781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052897628996157,0.05073580944498693,0.060115910767727314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22520468041920036,0.047378026065072985,0.0,0.0,0.05621838016295416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0530518343232335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5773243097919638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058132663598974614,0.12933442855193114,0.0,0.11200332277522117,0.0,0.0,0.03735696272290441,0.051677646520036286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882663638085092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07060744342069901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05327995768933154,0.05329952671529736,0.05610671768988384,0.05340266709987919,0.0,0.0844307596831536,0.0,0.0,0.1568656646947021,0.040791145827701374,0.0,0.05624789779604912,0.0,0.05181984898661059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0358388572361719,0.08044871568566626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036666473050206,0.04618050857217257,0.05525759713993183,0.0,0.04999706360152733,0.0,0.0,0.05380697989278807,0.0,0.05060749188228991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056253808002966414,0.0,0.0,0.03388195510624125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15092823891448656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037435004114266535,0.056372482837585676,0.04223710829219565,0.0,0.4846720419220376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035137005478634874,0.10166712906721803,0.0,0.0,0.03083991694147495,0.0,0.05013245084752198,0.05053756789715293,0.058761464452932816,0.035908061143830834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03119521725516345,0.0,0.2121212482298031,0.0,0.047553432757572636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551115004121668,0.0,0.0,0.0375707254656304,0.0,0.0,0.03405868888903183
bipolarreddit,latudamatata,2018/02/19,"Latuda Withdrawals/Akathisia Hi All,

I was put on Latuda for about 3 weeks (1 at 10mg, 2 at 20mg) as my previous stabiliser wasn't doing much for me. I assumed my worsening depression/anxiety were withdrawals but by week 3 I ended with akathisia that has really fucked me up.

Pdoc took me off it immediately and prescribed me 0.25mg Xanax to take as needed (which I had been taking one or two of intermittently to cope with the transition) It's been 12 days since my last Latuda dose but I'm still having major depression/panic/crying fits and I'm concerned that the longer I take the Xanax the more reliant I'm going to become on it. I'm already taking between 1.25-2mg/day and while I'm having more frequent periods of stability, it's sometimes taking more Xanax to get there and boy do I come crashing down hard once that 5 hour mark passes.

Has anyone had similar experiences coming off Latuda? I'd think that with only 3 weeks on I'd be in the clear by now, but I've heard some horror stories and I'm also terrified of replacing one set of symptoms with another the longer I stay on Xanax.

Thanks.",4.023231265108784,5.636659579908677,5.3290948160085945,79.80050765511686,71.92237442922374,8.257964007520817,27.037604082728986,8.841846274778883,2.138290142358314,884,31,166,17,17,295,132,219,0.099,0.855,0.045,-0.9224,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,5,2,1,0,6,0,14,7,0,0,2,21,35,13,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,9,11,0,0,2,0,0,6,1,1,0,3,9,2,14,1,31,25,7,32,0,0,0,1,3,12,1,3,12,97,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15296949703676124,0.11085355230243776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453540922888248,0.10604314418429678,0.0,0.0,0.09692561743353488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15309377830188667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.238815962998966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15226644608575365,0.17879555545336834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12277527650360018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13559596632515467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815101804795198,0.07242269842688559,0.0,0.0787803637078306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417538310570735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13651177765486314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299297408560538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019009037530052,0.10278422101652228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476246950967385,0.1878636235819523,0.10542598457889496,0.0,0.16263951188547798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13935036684562307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880287139673605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11466705692340196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13709772074171064,0.0,0.0,0.14774939427325698,0.11070130056193096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440782017798553,0.5211211272464991,0.0,0.0,0.12762173743165262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08882144846248317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15401079289950564,0.0,0.0,0.13541060631592666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.333575365435682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Wormswormsworms,2018/02/19,"Inarticulate Do you ever feel like no matter what you do or say, no one will ever really understand what you’re talking about? It’s lonely. I used to think it’s the bipolar, but maybe it’s just me that doesn’t make sense. 
I know there’s good things about being ‘creative.’ But the reverse of it is, I don’t choose to see things in a different way- I can’t see them like everyone else. It makes me feel stupid- or rather like I have the wrong operating software and people can tell, but they can’t fix it. I feel like I’m good for 1 in 100 things. Because if you want it done the normal way I’ll probably do it wrong. This is boring and self pitying but I just have no one to tell.",0.23883578431372496,2.469868381944444,2.0538071895424856,95.4248529411765,87.40277777777777,5.332679738562091,18.192810457516337,6.794906146795322,-0.02753709150326822,533,14,122,7,17,175,84,144,0.172,0.6890000000000001,0.14,-0.7184,1,2,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,3,2,0,8,12,1,0,5,0,15,1,0,3,2,27,28,9,0,4,10,0,3,4,0,1,1,1,0,1,15,2,0,0,7,0,0,0,7,6,0,2,1,6,14,6,9,25,0,6,0,2,2,0,10,2,0,3,6,78,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786050403851084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058550565836076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749535621596088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040238622881592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607482483611847,0.0,0.13772269534747816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21862985812482075,0.20593345585002265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24177934491960565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07921025339873991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816591721405167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924162128118764,0.0,0.1447982767882043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141217109803524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19533286709735512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999218147504982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15539686011578013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923335723311821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146182137822099,0.0,0.0,0.2297064055438811,0.0,0.15035935525127211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584648998959735,0.25195250133667235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28726133660436715,0.0923528879998861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500447439897461,0.0,0.1244823183374968,0.0,0.0,0.08501179580059103,0.22880787531132546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31516775339167474,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,k1e7,2018/02/19,"Looking for informal Chicago support groups, *not NAMI or DBSA* tried those two and they're damn depressing.",6.096666666666668,9.65765866666667,5.6200000000000045,70.80000000000003,73.44444444444446,8.044444444444443,36.77777777777778,8.841846274778883,4.384244444444445,88,5,11,2,2,27,18,18,0.241,0.636,0.123,-0.3818,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4227972055632272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41221847498611774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5570487341821562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33327764750549965,0.0,0.479521813129813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BD_Rick,2018/02/19,"Time to kick the meds for a bit?? I want to stop taking my medication (primarily lamictal).

I want to my motivation back. My feelings, it feels impossible to have an angry outburst now and I know that is not healthy. I feel so dumb but is it because of just smoking weed? I feel like THC/CBD stabilizes my moods in a much better way. No matter what happens in the day or morning, I feel ungodly restless until I smoke.
I know it is entirely my fault for being like this, a NEET, but I don't know why I find it so damn hard now. Essential tasks feel so hard to do and I've felt dissociated for so long, but I also feel like it might really the blurriness from Lamictal + poor eyesight. I feel like what is up with me is more than BP-II or anxiety. I genuinely feel that I may have aspergers or something. 

I don't know. Really, I want to go back to myself, a nice shy person who at least has a wave of motivation to chase my dreams. I want MOTIVATION and the ability TO DO.
I dream of being an artist but now I feel such little emotion to express and really I don't care I just want to be able to MAKE STUFF. ALSO I REALLY hate feeling obligated to meet with some person once a month to get these things that I essentially NEEED.",1.510517928286852,3.6238004023904367,4.027592031872511,84.06910119521915,80.83266932270917,7.840701195219122,23.18741035856573,8.726425361277474,1.7274728605577692,955,33,202,24,25,334,135,251,0.163,0.6559999999999999,0.181,0.2705,0,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,4,14,13,3,1,12,0,18,1,0,4,0,47,46,18,0,5,10,0,14,4,0,2,1,0,0,2,15,6,0,1,20,3,1,1,5,5,0,0,1,14,31,7,29,40,5,18,0,0,0,0,5,5,2,6,15,136,46,3,0.10276028316090877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16435472263502202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861133535083148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15803262947401248,0.0,0.06264171482842504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088311972998908,0.11218761453171372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047709572964093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662718814926665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11559148740003793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5715455544391232,0.22023590046788594,0.09866598679880714,0.0,0.09392103714957498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053688006677296465,0.0,0.05840103703199919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087057902814487,0.0,0.1841060590711203,0.10145450509426368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258974568466521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20081393492009805,0.1029927998222551,0.0,0.09093961691987508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859328695658254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141435089441965,0.10352017435452172,0.0,0.10901242136083183,0.0,0.0,0.08202227762874975,0.0,0.07554063187298933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10943634783353076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17945263121442126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26332347488124874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910988639047108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591219802340895,0.0,0.0,0.1176359390368948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772629442619719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826936602790126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05992034748743266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3030533871771755,0.08156632967566124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272517221313037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,igobykatenow,2018/02/19,"Seroquel and anger/rage/confusion, anyone else? I have been taking the same combo (lamictal 150mg & seroquel 200mg) for about 5 years now for BPII, and it had been working really well.  It did kind of kill the social life because if I don't take them too late I am pretty much useless the next day.

However, for the past two weeks things have changed, especially in the morning.  I have ""come to"" for lack of a better phrase, yelling at my SO. And not just like upset, like furious rage that I can still feel, even when I realize what is going on and am confused as to what started it.  I have a pdoc appt next week, but I am worried that this could get worse.

SO has said it is terrifying and I even threatened to throw things at him before the light bulb moments.  I have an infant, who SO has been incredible with taking of/now protecting, as far as mornings go, even before the rage.  The biggest issue used to be balance and coordination if I was startled awake.

Any tips on how to mitigate this?  Or cope with the guilt and confusion?  SO is understanding, but can only deal with so much",4.995030181086519,5.746291215962444,5.633712273641852,81.76996478873241,68.76525821596243,8.714822266934942,29.298792756539235,8.841846274778883,2.1575609657947687,851,30,170,14,14,276,135,213,0.199,0.768,0.033,-0.9887,1,0,0,0,1,0,33.0,0,0,1,2,16,15,4,5,12,0,24,1,0,2,0,28,36,22,1,4,7,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,13,11,0,1,3,0,0,4,2,10,1,1,7,4,14,5,23,27,4,24,0,1,0,0,7,7,0,5,15,119,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495245559156437,0.0,0.09384574494368007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09649384995848136,0.14139883396945335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08412442694622872,0.0,0.2348582060759605,0.0,0.0,0.12205110264480687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459872772524316,0.11887606347782458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11018295986040262,0.0,0.0,0.0889995439698457,0.1422734757628438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528253628067067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734460463243023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697776994314542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210008231708592,0.0,0.1568588531408803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440377008352801,0.0,0.0,0.15267820120249267,0.1437073147834187,0.0,0.0,0.1556716907642098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747453302640753,0.13484111381881256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028939464660892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29353229876075504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10495635113861408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13173803665640546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403971269697229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08840728772571366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13127101827318874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14067513932451473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767816436111154,0.0,0.1102081675564947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112798361931537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833641148174144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13480740256925375,0.14366441716403486,0.0,0.11918897813845765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22139294106478888,0.0,0.12407991212318463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046672774343343,0.14014721105665748,0.14063530731429622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0888684345024279
bipolarreddit,usuallytired1215,2018/02/19,"Scared to Start Meds :( Hey all. I’ve been in therapy since age 6, Baker Acted at 15, sent to inpatient treatment at age 17, stayed for a year for self harm, depression, and substance abuse.

In inpatient they just said I needed to find god and quit smoking pot and life would be dandy. Then, the inpatient program took me off my depression and ADHD meds because I traded adderall for a cigarette. Life was miserable.

So, I went straight to university after inpatient treatment (genius move) and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I think that the diagnosis is fitting but I don’t trust it completely; what if it’s BPD or Cyclothymia? 

Fast forward a year, I dropped my therapist. School is tough because I’m either so hyped up I think that I don’t need school because I’m a genius and a god among men and can do anything I want with my life. Other times, I’ll miss a week of classes and do no work because I hate myself and want to die. 


All in all,  I’m so used to dealing with the symptoms that I don’t want to take meds or go back to therapy because I’m scared of the side effects. I don’t want to lose my sex drive or get fat or be lazy.  I don’t want to give up drugs and alcohol. And I’m really distrustful of doctors because not a one has helped me in the past. 

Tl;dr I’m fucked up, probably bipolar, barely passing my classes, but don’t want to experience side effects from meds. What do I do ",3.0996565062664416,4.773746921708189,4.502184743926971,84.54466811078449,74.44483985765125,7.876280365155503,29.299241838155645,8.587818076936951,2.257569890143896,1099,48,221,21,23,365,147,281,0.19,0.745,0.065,-0.991,0,0,3,0,1,1,34.0,0,0,1,5,5,13,3,3,12,0,20,13,1,3,3,42,49,22,1,10,10,0,0,0,0,1,11,1,0,2,8,14,2,0,5,0,1,9,8,12,0,1,7,1,23,1,33,39,4,38,0,5,0,2,9,16,1,5,13,127,31,8,0.0,0.11247608304081796,0.0,0.0,0.1140869620570855,0.0,0.0,0.10145089956404624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811899314051783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07299502224345097,0.0,0.3472093110761578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195605399680509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953190607509876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786827539719316,0.16352549443646228,0.09635157148442737,0.0985219636655756,0.0,0.10879757497615312,0.097164494065524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008822725271887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09285938916608713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676395778111888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776090896693163,0.049596811173229886,0.0910651467236118,0.05395069374445114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09372335169898448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0636293268461675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20115480537657535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10620196871671042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4217816536779097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089516843935284,0.0,0.1407782287065827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643267709399095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906210689142505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10235019199781456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009693416857113,0.0,0.0,0.06081434881566779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09029981237996586,0.0,0.19008223117877004,0.19214769782418187,0.0,0.0,0.09903230262934104,0.0,0.0,0.07852676707098133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671916774277764,0.10118234984198644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09866822865027693,0.07137526413081148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21712059958920185,0.1102206117396983,0.0,0.12165414167697393,0.0,0.0,0.05535422794948455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054703066855151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198871697074965,0.0,0.0,0.3359517154640091,0.0,0.07614681939464492,0.0,0.0,0.08800071376514694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06910989786626857,0.0,0.0,0.06743528218959416,0.0,0.0,0.12226313267975218
bipolarreddit,thrwwayaaaa090,2018/02/19,"Fibromyalgia AND adhd AND BIPOLAR I I’ve dealt with inconsistent mental health care most of my late teens and early 20s. Now that i’m independent of my mental illness-denying family, i see a good therapist and get consistent treatment.

well recently i had a terrible manic episode that put me in a very dangerous situation that i luckily survived. it’s something i would never do otherwise. after speaking with my therapist she recommended a psychiatrist to me and i’ve been seeing her. i was tested and, boom, diagnosed bipolar i and adhd.

i was somewhat surprised by the diagnosis, but at the same time, it explained my entire life.

it’s like, fibro is a lot already with three of the many symptoms being anxiety, depression, and brain fog. i don’t want to deal with more. esp. since i really, really need to be on a mood stabilizer.

it’s just hard thinking about having to adjust all my medication, including possibly my fibro meds. it’s just a headache to potentially deal with more symptoms/ side effects while i rework everything.

but it’s really necessary. my manic brain is so sneaky and tricks me so easily. 

Edit: sorry for the poor grammar. my thoughts are racing pretty bad and it makes it hard to type.",4.188988993069714,6.935406147982064,5.9308948226661276,70.59502140236448,74.96412556053812,9.615083571137383,30.315735833673052,9.910423181423305,3.868768609865471,973,45,154,31,22,332,140,223,0.134,0.7559999999999999,0.11,-0.8192,0,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,7,11,2,0,11,0,13,10,2,3,2,35,24,15,0,3,4,0,2,1,0,1,8,2,0,0,11,15,0,0,5,0,1,1,2,5,1,1,5,6,24,5,21,16,7,13,0,1,2,0,6,4,0,3,9,108,35,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941869238573278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13506450911886664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363085773388702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219364047130697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27326373017695543,0.0,0.0,0.12478855057586162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523650938125223,0.10541752824577832,0.12422704537280953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999957994869178,0.0,0.11538190268329675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06394566499581479,0.0,0.0,0.10265804205051683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21928145792084344,0.0,0.0,0.13009879672011848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13806544274334706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08645030122320757,0.05979538729234572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405476050274078,0.0,0.0,0.08169875583297209,0.12408801757094605,0.0,0.0,0.13595182678814122,0.12329879239830115,0.2466881568381218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09075338956906863,0.09439757911267367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798052479656725,0.0,0.12451841050746296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230394899514835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352256456199945,0.0,0.12084902886236536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19506389056879805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124534665720004,0.13757566487999862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422466219296728,0.0,0.1370097445412036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25442786928231365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2842170755423397,0.0,0.07842495117133715,0.0,0.09716693899348336,0.07136876006395865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10098763380712067,0.07219098480880487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100466495786379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08694498419933802,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,graymal-kin,2018/02/19,"Sex Repulsion After Months of Lamictal Anyone else lose their desire to be sexually intimate after being on Lamictal for a prolonged period of time? I’m taking 300mg a day. It helps stabilize my mood for the most part, but now I have literally no desire to have sex or get near people. I do not watch pornography nor do I masturbate. I wonder if I am just realizing that I could be potentially asexual, or repulsed by my past acts of hypersexuality when my condition was going untreated??",7.959230769230771,7.902110197802203,10.050857142857145,55.419142857142894,62.4065934065934,14.312967032967036,36.88131868131868,13.348371206891418,5.729358681318683,392,17,63,16,5,143,70,91,0.104,0.818,0.079,-0.509,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,1,1,3,2,0,0,3,0,10,2,0,0,0,12,15,6,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,1,10,0,12,10,2,13,0,1,1,2,2,2,0,5,9,49,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120817504254128,0.3107774457051619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24216874965919274,0.0,0.0,0.1956101770248553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533769986212143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15846721495932928,0.0,0.17237834410252303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033026312887527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3393268600868987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24209954335938094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3284557086947929,0.28954418777693225,0.21027730688120602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22805174478437396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17686278879383516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3289272934697838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Indiefujoshi,2018/02/20,"Finally found the right medication cocktail 😍 I'm so happy and I just wanted to share.  After years of misdiagnoses and bad meds,  I finally found the  right ones!  I feel like myself again!  It has effected my sex drive  but I'm working on that.  But all and all I feel stable and happy!  I wish the best for all of you and don't give up!  So the right combo is out there for you!  #stopthestigma",0.22584579976985,2.6312817341772186,2.446352128883777,90.31507479861914,92.41772151898735,5.910701956271577,17.308400460299197,7.348242739294969,0.4597240506329112,303,8,64,6,11,102,52,79,0.025,0.6859999999999999,0.289,0.9774,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,3,5,6,0,0,4,0,3,2,0,1,3,19,12,9,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,5,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,2,9,5,9,10,4,12,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,6,44,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114096386566467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18996533147036548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1830544567741432,0.12931800766684098,0.0,0.39658879273139225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3969498347218369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173647231022136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3853902164547329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843537061998813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010681882482385,0.18235477511718584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266126016589655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4637605308425848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067680432568387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081596937098371,0.0,0.0,0.1317819476766796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656849634453073
bipolarreddit,Professorplasma,2018/02/20,"Lamictal, Dry scalp and eyebrows. I have been on lamictal for a while now, and I have been doing research, I have bowl diseases, and possibly Spondylosis. There is a gene, HLA-b17, which can cause some of this and if you are positive for that gene, it is possible to have an adverse reaction!! Anyone else know of or have this gene, or take lamicital and have really dry skin on scalp, eyebrows and face so I know I'm not alone?? :/",4.383413654618476,5.650602060240967,5.301385542168674,81.69296184738957,70.56626506024097,9.870682730923695,29.49598393574297,10.125756701596842,2.9279333333333333,333,13,67,9,6,109,54,83,0.03,0.8690000000000001,0.1,0.7022,0,1,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,0,13,4,4,1,0,14,17,11,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,5,0,7,15,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,4,2,48,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3036718978766353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20501571546660075,0.3004231163422718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3012022463688301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449351089893857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222755404934638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6610890431017249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18783459622916326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204536294452081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,facetatshawty,2018/02/20,"Getting really hyperactive when 'manic'? Let me first say I'm not officially diagnosed with bipolar and idk if I'm posting on the right place, I'm diagnosed with several things but mainly BPD. Psych says I likely have fast cycling bipolar type 1 and I guess I'm not diagnosed because she's focusing on my BPD first. I've had a really destructive psychotic manic/mixed(?) phase that made me drop out and get hospitalized last year

I don't know whether I should be calling this manic, since I don't know whether its from BPD or my possible bipolar. But when I get manic I get extremely hyperactive next to the usual mania symptoms, my friend just asked if I was on cocaine. I talk like crazy, constantly shaking, twitchy. Its so weird. I'm just sitting here in front of my desk, legs shaking, eyes barely blinking. I feel so amazing yet scared, I'm about to go run to maybe calm down and get some weed

I've had these moods for years. Usually these moods last from about a day to 2 weeks. They probably last longer, but turn more into an irritated mood. I am medicated, I'm on seroquel and while it helps me a lot it doesn't get rid of this. Sorry if this post is all over the place, I'm really not thinking straight",5.045399159663862,5.976591722689079,5.7793172268907576,80.12174894957984,68.74789915966386,9.479411764705883,31.26155462184873,9.673873057562805,2.848024369747898,962,39,189,21,16,314,145,238,0.134,0.7809999999999999,0.085,-0.8446,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,2,10,13,1,3,7,0,12,10,2,1,1,33,35,19,0,4,14,0,1,2,1,1,8,2,0,0,11,9,0,0,4,0,0,5,6,5,0,2,4,4,20,5,22,28,5,40,0,0,1,0,9,13,0,7,20,105,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09882188376814999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443807659298101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39940323531488503,0.0,0.10793878389415336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423183893127918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06817234469525732,0.0,0.0,0.32187149195576753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053448693841564685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798288372284904,0.0,0.0,0.08166905537228203,0.0,0.3313656303188807,0.0,0.06007578987396792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644830546957825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085325144360244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618773261806448,0.2584962235098239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809268767985264,0.0,0.1032863145171063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986840964624047,0.0,0.1000226287668386,0.0,0.0,0.10619700572307482,0.0,0.0,0.1064887981155406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242071676844426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22088287458840508,0.0,0.0,0.11916889016619794,0.20247639339064996,0.0,0.11397014943210786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20315605530918746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027329923426408,0.0,0.1681250823558079,0.10583126357152052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1194189524071994,0.0,0.08744201845455421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833046165755508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987016774441967,0.0,0.08496337548559559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07022711062603205,0.06773285147455116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497898731962085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23284290751031936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479187205992457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614383353424991
bipolarreddit,Odramabama,2018/02/20,"My school’s disability resources is being a butt and I don’t have the energy to self advocate After a decade of dealing with mental health professionals, I’ve learned how to be my own self advocate. There were times when I felt my pdoc was dismissive and I had to stand up for myself to make myself heard. It can be so hard because in the end they’re usually just trying to help and I feel bad for being almost confrontational. I’ve learned what situations you should badger an office and when you shouldn’t. This is the shit you learn when you deal with this bullshit disease. 

And I need to badger my school’s DR right now. For some reason they haven’t granted me excused absences (which I had no issue getting at previous institutions) and those are so much more important than getting extended testing time...

And I know how it looks. I KNOW. It looks like I want a legitimate way to slack off, but that isn’t what happens. I did my best to not abuse those previous accommodations because they were my saving grace at the end of the semester. I’m not completely incompetent. I can follow the syllabus, text classmates, and do my best to keep up with the class materials. But sometimes I just cannot leave my bed.

So much has gone wrong this past month. Life has just taken a huge shit on me at the beginning of this semester and I need help. I have an established relationship with a psychiatrist in this new town, but I need a therapist. She gave me a list and I’ve been playing phone tag with her top recommendation and I just *can’t* anymore. I don’t have the energy. I’m here by myself, away from family, freaked out by my creepy neighbors, and just struggling in general. 

The only two things I can focus on are my schoolwork and taking care of my dog. And everyday I feel like I’m failing at even that. My house is a mess. I’m a mess. My eating habits are horrible. I feel the temptation of hard alcohol everyday... so I binge eat then starve then binge. Luckily my alcohol consumption hasn’t gotten out of control, tho I am planning on cutting it out completely again. 

I thought discussion questions were due at midnight on Sunday’s, but they’re due at 8 pm. I had confused between two different class’s deadlines. My prof has been so understanding but god I need to show I’m not trying take advantage of any slack she has given me. She’s been so great at balancing having compassion but not coddling me. I really like her. 

And I’m just asking for this one thing from my school. Their department is a fucking mess. My psychiatrist had dealt with them before and said she needs to be contacted by them first before writing any sort of letters detailing why I need this accommodation. I told this to the DR but they insisted that wasn’t the case. So I call my psychiatrist and she insisted that that’s how it’s always been and won’t write anything until she’s contacted by them. Then my assigned counselor sent me a passive aggressive email that the recommendation I had sent in did not explain why I needed an ESA. Shit lady, I was not asking for a fucking emotional support animal! Get your fucking shit together. 

Family connections can be great tho, my mother works at the university and knows the chair or director or what fucking ever of the DR and insists that I call him and go over the counselor’s head. But god I just do not have the energy. 

I don’t have the energy for any of this. Sometimes I wish I was still a minor so my mom could just make my appts for me. For the first time in years I just want my mom to take care of me like she used to. I don’t want to be responsible for dealing with this shit. 

I’m being kept awake by my racing heart rate being brought on by my anxiety. I’m all out of clonazepam until at least Wednesday. I had two beers left over and self medicated just to calm down a little, but when I lay my head down all I can hear is my racing heart. 

I need help. I know how to ask for it. Where to find it. But god I just don’t have the energy... The short days are even harder to deal with here due to the fucking freezing temperatures. Everything is so much harder when it’s this cold. 

I’m just in this stupid self pity party where I’m just asking “why me????” 

I’m really sorry for the length. I just don’t have anywhere to turn right now. ",2.9869242254572583,5.074541397163124,4.331221226825932,83.83644736842105,75.92671394799055,7.9041682219733715,25.315976110488982,8.72795950557414,1.8942851063829795,3386,120,673,73,76,1117,334,846,0.081,0.75,0.16899999999999998,0.9978,1,0,3,0,1,0,85.0,0,5,7,10,46,40,14,2,42,0,73,26,10,9,3,120,149,59,0,15,33,3,7,4,1,3,8,3,2,4,35,34,5,3,17,3,0,7,22,24,0,6,33,13,107,16,97,103,11,88,0,2,2,6,62,42,11,7,41,462,142,16,0.0,0.06536827757961433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179214351018517,0.05524550327375419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0459064558388068,0.0,0.0,0.11255393750188206,0.0,0.04220544718426805,0.0,0.05471452604584368,0.0,0.0,0.04540079890580995,0.0,0.20630869005827232,0.0,0.05183470434746167,0.0,0.046065243872254004,0.06726311351725715,0.0,0.09389243260963986,0.0,0.11579652660193085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267094019342536,0.0,0.11250044500286016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156908933605738,0.0,0.0618786499195904,0.04404932791693682,0.0,0.0,0.035580548042569576,0.22751434507477275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057641656350572675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290683291697405,0.0,0.06205963039097116,0.09772975872916337,0.0,0.0,0.07287947596367451,0.04990507174092919,0.0,0.0,0.04958388264487651,0.0,0.1040200830704934,0.0,0.08368791601096359,0.039413970957216674,0.052972539852380186,0.0,0.050425035463618255,0.09385636669898573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550221924027953,0.08647326699647394,0.0,0.03135478964910438,0.0,0.0,0.1216518196256457,0.0,0.0,0.04878728247853965,0.0,0.0988442508672856,0.0,0.11324214395177948,0.05864389183866805,0.06218140728514447,0.13075512959719446,0.11093930514920698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06365959958538886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057583894320260225,0.0,0.04903826784859933,0.0,0.0,0.12128153200110985,0.0,0.0,0.05841782284870749,0.05994314500494372,0.0,0.038968708721116616,0.10781450138597086,0.055295551892849286,0.0,0.0,0.09265901367510317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07365376346607924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055578692713044914,0.05559910603407624,0.0,0.0,0.12923055295498714,0.04403673962468765,0.0,0.12167047415820162,0.32726709830102224,0.0,0.0532842218754024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03738510539235518,0.04195981605619832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05266669168411865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06180382899509659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068754755201426,0.05672468532682515,0.0,0.05923270255589778,0.0,0.09423098104441302,0.05247998544631552,0.0,0.0,0.16750713184637805,0.0,0.0,0.2302203587681428,0.0,0.2831597387878138,0.0,0.06201419701222994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1091304988428408,0.06175910033205854,0.0,0.0,0.0440594055375834,0.0,0.0,0.05767641182917031,0.0,0.0,0.06260707538644596,0.0,0.0,0.12444453839118805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06405745424634676,0.0733059452389413,0.0,0.0,0.043799386345493525,0.09651146554847627,0.0,0.0,0.05271798399312404,0.0,0.07491459013053282,0.06000989698241045,0.1616813204762424,0.05743466167247554,0.0,0.04764978530942825,0.060762749866360814,0.0,0.09762335421046528,0.043791946845542364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493489714057646,0.0,0.06344360132333192,0.0,0.0,0.04016493875930574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603205177495657,0.0,0.03552813264248758
bipolarreddit,whatswestofwesteros,2018/02/20,"Full imagined world's/ excessive daydreaming Does anyone else spend an extortionate amount of time in your own head? I am a notorious daydreamer, I have very complex scenarios set up in my head and I can drift into them for hours at a time. Does anyone else have this? I feel like a weirdo haha",4.280181818181816,6.739349381818188,4.790909090909089,80.30636363636366,73.36363636363637,8.763636363636364,27.363636363636363,9.3871,2.640927272727272,236,9,43,6,5,75,43,55,0.109,0.792,0.099,-0.1431,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,4,1,4,2,2,0,0,5,5,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,2,7,5,3,12,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,4,26,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31085707862382905,0.4555194809562749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3890504554618762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3713852484896631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239520346471024,0.15880218421886144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4562620656692958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21890834189751748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859840999746284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592351757349839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18341040935549235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,YemekBebek,2018/02/21,"Relationships coming and going with the cycles (x-post from r/bipolar) 
*First off, this is a cross post from r/bipolar and I hope that’s allowed! If not, please remove!*


Do any of you feel like your interest in relationships comes and goes with your mood swings? I am shit at maintaining (romantic) relationships. It’s like my feelings for a person are *completely* out of my control. I’ll start dating someone new usually when I’m manic, and I’ll be borderline obsessed with them, and then my depression hits and BAM, time to dump them! Suddenly I don’t care about them at all anymore, and that scares me because of course they’re lovely people who have shared in great times with me. But suddenly I don’t want anything to do with them, get out of my life please, thank you.


I have managed to retain friendships with a few of these people, but the others I pretty much just booted from my life, and they were completely blind-sighted and hurt. I feel awful for doing this, but it’s like I can’t stop, and every time I date someone new I think, *maybe this time I won’t do it.*


My friends and family don’t take me seriously at all anymore. If I mention someone I’m seeing they make comments like, “Yeah, we’ll see how long this one lasts haha.” One friend even told me I should just stop dating altogether! I don’t want to give up on having meaningful romantic relationships in my life! I am human. But I feel like a complete joke. It doesn’t help that I’m prone to rapid cycling so these relationships can be anywhere from a few weeks to a couple months. I go through long periods of staying single and having zero interest in romantic relationships (usually when I’m depressed, but not exclusively - I’ve just never been very relationship-oriented), but a huge part of my mania manifests as uncontrollable sexual appetite, so I always end up dating around at that point.


It’s gotten to the point where I feel like I need a disclaimer when I enter into a new relationship! I’ve tried gently telling people that I’m a bit flighty but then they’re constantly waiting for me to leave and that doesn’t really seem productive either. I’m just tired of hurting people and repeating this cycle, but I don’t want to just give up on dating altogether. Anyone else? Am I alone here? None of my friends understand why I’m like this and I feel I have nobody I can talk to about it.",3.9009769521843833,5.832754257080612,4.956955051026259,81.03761351909188,72.8779956427015,8.143125788327026,26.675897259488593,8.841846274778883,2.124948583877996,1880,67,353,38,38,616,219,459,0.1,0.7070000000000001,0.193,0.9924,1,1,0,0,0,0,61.0,1,4,6,2,17,31,2,3,13,3,31,6,1,4,3,72,71,34,0,8,18,0,6,7,3,3,4,0,0,2,22,27,0,5,10,1,0,7,13,10,0,4,4,8,51,20,54,61,10,66,0,4,2,1,34,22,1,4,42,227,73,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670122107878833,0.0,0.0,0.05383761021767471,0.0,0.0,0.04399987543486468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12833486152118978,0.04524144787759635,0.06629529218426265,0.0532445920818783,0.05759888603290126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03944200463094846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063830267122599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596844601384896,0.0,0.0,0.11147083947919777,0.20351782038080665,0.06992034769423956,0.07256928408641546,0.0,0.07159201512186159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111456227176345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05405058310538111,0.0,0.057307153873990366,0.0,0.0,0.0427353489624422,0.0,0.05451459318806655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060995698587836426,0.0,0.1962929753474458,0.1386703002934676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055035859275762336,0.0,0.0,0.14996682538548672,0.0,0.03380435247969025,0.1241369453252778,0.0735437712513918,0.0,0.0,0.07133466445627723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04336867919271084,0.0,0.0,0.06426411848440515,0.0,0.0,0.13853059256433706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052741121315362835,0.0,0.06851053776264758,0.0,0.0,0.13710373274166318,0.22127239495838213,0.0,0.0,0.11451924014260174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058396474925506675,0.0,0.04318937866250503,0.0,0.06500229387632944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05164486736889395,0.0,0.04756373544881337,0.047976036685524026,0.04990250766432907,0.18747004853650492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08768809071768333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07006643332209059,0.0,0.1794260901756021,0.05649567170041221,0.0,0.14204769059246486,0.12232943198544913,0.0,0.12393409716766204,0.06582563867746996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04145003750356615,0.0,0.0,0.5557296191265767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06477842618197761,0.0,0.10311892937979376,0.05890266796705745,0.0,0.0,0.06641612107772399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16446649296551333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045796717444934916,0.06896418817805004,0.0,0.10818826788428307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04864817979086649,0.0520053674247766,0.056552781214095287,0.05956931031181389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04145870862038718,0.0,0.0,0.15091404375251402,0.07436593243049971,0.0,0.06182595066038968,0.0,0.04392870707800341,0.0,0.0,0.06735751805724957,0.0,0.0,0.14252118501789476,0.053386286146671916,0.1144895199616358,0.0,0.05190039162060624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05838388495354885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,costellofolds,2018/02/21,"Is lithium *making* me manic or did I forget what good feels like? I have a new doc, and at the same time, new insurance that won't cover Latuda. My old doc hadn't tried lithium for whatever reason, so this new doc is giving it a shot. I'm on a super low dose and  while I titrate off the Latuda, he's going to raise it in small increments.

And I feel great! I'd been in a depressive episode for two weeks and that is out the window. I've been more productive this week than the past two months. I have a renewed sense of energy and positivity, and somehow am less anxious too. 

Am I overreacting? Or is this the start of mania? The thing that's got me a little bugged out is that while I used to wake up groggy and hating the world, I've woken up before my alarm clock went off. Last night, I got an hour less sleep and felt like a million bucks today. 

Also unrelated, but what do you lithium folks do about pain? I used to take 800mg ibprofen for my migraine and now I can't. Tylenol has done jack all for me in the past.",1.7327279466271293,3.4782728732394403,3.352058314801088,90.99716085989624,78.48356807511738,6.174351371386213,20.600197677291824,7.0608816371341465,0.3328741784037557,794,20,176,9,19,263,130,213,0.071,0.8440000000000001,0.084,0.3916,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,0,1,6,10,1,1,16,0,19,6,2,4,1,25,35,16,0,0,3,0,3,2,0,1,4,0,1,0,12,11,0,0,4,0,1,2,3,5,0,3,10,3,17,5,22,24,5,36,0,2,0,0,3,15,0,3,21,113,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434859068656965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16153734876248374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1216734681280745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315658133920025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632782558691448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14459949821940551,0.10215167305339136,0.13729227074536351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13716848480761376,0.08126418483359425,0.11993274473710525,0.2287234093593905,0.15764634472175326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14117245297653996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408157795824526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11655546507812654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397148197519737,0.14331296748547825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09544655082972724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413279401259513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4143002300754358,0.0,0.1341858880247613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500433470443272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15215082860595733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729991695360897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.147016942694057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14309268921993898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012086502470908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751025157057288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09499581961744756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337828300623988,0.0,0.13553725460718394,0.0,0.0,0.0970804328019861,0.0,0.2793597800816639,0.0,0.0,0.24699390453586195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22939498183610235,0.0,0.0,0.13255262856809213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,oxford__llama,2018/02/21,"Newly Diagnosed and Drugged Hi there, I was recently diagnosed with BP II.  This is all very new to me.  All my life my doctors bounced me around treatments for anxiety, ADHD, and depression without any real results.  The worst of these was a doc in college who insisted I needed to take high-dose Adderall which turned me into a 95 pound skeleton of a crackhead.  Depression meds made me a zombie.

My psychiatrist now is (sort of) working in conjunction with my therapist.  I say sort of because after therapist sent me to psych for treatment for ""mood disorder"", he prescribed for ADHD.  I wasn't really surprised, but had tried to explain to him in office that I was a hot mess because I was travelling across the country the next day, and that I was nervous because it was my first time meeting him.  Of course I couldn't concentrate and was fidgety and talking fast. :\

Anyway, those meds made me feel awful, so after taking them for a month, I stopped.  Yesterday he prescribed Lamictal, and today is my first day taking it.  What can I expect?  how has it helped any of you?  Were the side effects bad?  I am also taking Trazodone, given to me by my primary doc for sleep issues.  Psych upped the dose of Trazodone to 100 mg and gave me a starter dose of 25 mg Lamictal, to be increased over the next few weeks.",5.066626016260162,6.581455906504067,5.617235772357726,79.13162601626017,69.20325203252034,8.55609756097561,33.178861788617894,8.998388855275968,3.0293349593495935,1027,48,181,19,18,331,144,246,0.135,0.8540000000000001,0.011,-0.9817,0,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,1,4,7,8,0,1,13,1,18,8,1,5,2,29,31,11,0,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,11,11,0,1,3,1,0,3,3,6,0,2,15,3,30,1,36,14,5,31,0,2,0,0,15,9,0,2,19,128,41,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28060916007501513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336078595312787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15878095438009665,0.0,0.0893094635251404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392763621652976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747704364850963,0.2134996659446378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058149455157735,0.0,0.20110427527076646,0.236987058456552,0.0,0.0,0.1337996716793141,0.11949326451167055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538692075995315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05902968598535247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19860615909857554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825158826434353,0.12334730622292292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12185125505192552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246031501468477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22093353244656647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25935434128394896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931845970996635,0.0,0.0,0.08656480066152558,0.0,0.112752869298363,0.24831886926033225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13288115755972474,0.07478971757147286,0.0,0.11527142009002285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284016226049586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682912617907085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760389238388792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.351110285640838,0.09383505965622076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710994554115241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807484015453763,0.0,0.11066043350495007,0.0,0.0,0.07926206569442007,0.12698483402625188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963266984440222,0.0,0.0,0.09364564822939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11253783510091186,0.0,0.08499161535837954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SpellTheTEA,2018/02/21,"I signed up for therapy, but... My psychiatrist is almost 200 km away.


 To put it in context, I live in the Philippines. It's an archipelago of over 7,500 islands. One of these islands is called Cebu. Cebu is where my family is based right now. I am currently studying in Panay Island, in the province of Iloilo. 

I don't know why I got a psychiatrist from so far away! Is it because I don't want my peers to know that I'm so broken that I need therapy? Is it because I don't want my already fucked up reputation to be worse?

I will never know. One thing's for sure. I just  my peers never find out. People here are judgmental.

thank you for reading. I just needed to let it out.

Also, if anyone needs someone to talk to, my inbox is always open. 

All my love and hugs,
SpellTheTea",0.9911111111111096,3.3526944840764368,3.219309978768578,87.5169762915782,85.05095541401273,5.781882519462137,21.461075725406925,7.1686216300943375,0.803801415428167,602,20,122,9,18,205,95,157,0.093,0.8290000000000001,0.078,-0.3372,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,1,0,0,8,5,1,0,4,0,15,3,0,0,4,23,28,6,0,6,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,4,1,0,1,5,1,0,2,1,0,19,4,24,24,1,21,0,0,0,3,4,16,1,2,4,87,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15256350308431502,0.0,0.16812971110516622,0.12183981829469775,0.12677320871255482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065315397740626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862887876105371,0.0,0.0,0.18575079632636585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15557350655794122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362859711602285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13925151546470182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14085156883961794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12185379141434835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511942278338176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15579532999109436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13453400071147073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375081188387949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3389123005652134,0.23501418409292446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064820593115554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562514330753907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15316084169723826,0.0,0.0,0.15239820550186714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301120246472361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12909157095841267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14359464637620115,0.0,0.0,0.1224587657598123,0.0,0.14026983327248985,0.348466959145339,0.0,0.1012192046395295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17972818321384434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374784728137161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552647742963603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bobmcbob2,2018/02/22,Donald trump news conference Anyone just watch this live? Pretty sure he was referring to mentally ill as sickos and that we need to be institutionalized 😬🤦🏻‍♀️ wtf? ,1.7874999999999979,4.565550250000001,4.23725,76.08275,93.375,7.56,18.9,8.238735603445708,1.7825799999999998,136,4,24,4,5,47,31,32,0.191,0.6579999999999999,0.151,-0.3527,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,7,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3205783015353488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4048442511795864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4620377348598195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399554407863927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4664366954346033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4321098516221709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MikisMagicalMadness,2018/02/22,"Help with coping (xpost from r/cyclothymia) Hey guys,

First time posting! Anyway. For reference, I’m 23 and female, married, and a first time mom. My baby girl is 8 weeks old, and was 4 weeks premature. We spent six days in NICU, then 2 weeks later we were in the hospital with RSV (respiratory syncytial virus) for two weeks. I’m diagnose cyclothymic and have been for a year and a month after being misdiagnosed major depressive the year before. I’m on Lexapro and Lamictal and have been since January 2017, and I’m still struggling with a lot of rapid cycling and mental trauma from past experiences...now we have to add my daughter almost dying in my arms from not being able to breathe.

Now that that’s out of the way, I need advice. I can’t get back to my therapist until April, and I can’t change medications because I’m breastfeeding. I had high anxiety during pregnancy, and the anxiety has lingered, along with deepening depressive episodes partially due to loneliness and postpartum. I’m in school (online) for digital media design, and I’m trying to get a job working at home. My husband works as a teacher at a school 35 minutes away, so we don’t see him until later in the evenings.

Anybody have any ideas for how to manage the depression and cycling until April? I have self-destructive tendencies (self-harm, food issues, etc), and am trying to avoid falling back into those habits. I’m open to nearly anything - I’m a Christian, but I’m open to almost anything. Links appreciated too. Thanks!",5.085707792207792,7.031843635714285,5.809350649350653,76.08110389610391,69.78571428571429,8.948051948051948,30.584415584415584,9.457814108942452,3.0525357142857144,1198,50,204,27,22,390,169,280,0.068,0.894,0.037000000000000005,-0.2685,1,1,0,0,0,0,49.0,4,0,0,4,9,7,0,2,14,0,18,5,2,1,0,40,34,23,1,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,3,29,1,1,3,0,1,1,4,6,0,4,6,1,15,1,41,26,3,46,1,3,1,0,12,15,0,3,28,124,18,6,0.1111330265752065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859790736397712,0.0,0.0,0.22256734596528052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07557426898500473,0.0,0.1700329222911255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829060234477048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10441313674293512,0.17090887520798725,0.0,0.06774566150078623,0.0,0.09456602028132556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756400640311315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167160833510795,0.0,0.2871561388332189,0.112797682642003,0.11533853594295213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12394270132022273,0.07340231593238787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18905939126507545,0.13438249686493872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612483907805315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100391686190028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07449012512970055,0.11741814420326263,0.11147548688805774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254556598449214,0.0,0.1159940064777564,0.11028238076858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448132503960184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11195483248714448,0.11199595202099838,0.0,0.0,0.1301576575666816,0.0887053215414106,0.0,0.0,0.08240373104404901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11661541680340988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1060890488301044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643471945310304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22494511200646625,0.08855863373898445,0.0,0.23187196786087985,0.0,0.0,0.0919303880000197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08875097857934264,0.0,0.0,0.1161803689434163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231635967744156,0.0,0.1290340094310897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12960512300825724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509040601622204,0.0,0.1085608187036369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821222367880396,0.35657684191122035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16181233386941746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14313205095006398
bipolarreddit,amorrell,2018/02/22,"Essay about living with a mental illness Deborah Danner was killed by police in New York City. She was a woman living with Schizophrenia. She was intelligent and insightful. Although she did not have bi-polar disorder, I think this essay about living with mental illness is appropriate for this subreddit. 

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2016/10/19/nyregion/document-Living-With-Schizophrenia-by-Deborah-Danner.html",16.649423076923078,22.40014817307692,11.158307692307694,33.58669230769232,48.03846153846154,9.544615384615383,31.55384615384615,9.888512548439397,4.3258030769230755,363,11,30,7,5,100,38,52,0.17,0.7390000000000001,0.09,-0.685,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,2,0,6,2,0,0,0,7,7,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,4,0,8,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,25,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963063639741585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860334289032275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6848800250414858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5210899656660533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2496971204049425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16566038531006896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Rick2wise,2018/02/22,"Major study ""the debate is settled - anti depressants do work"" ""Scientists say they have settled one of medicine's biggest debates after a huge study found that anti-depressants work.

The study, which analysed data from 522 trials involving 116,477 people, found 21 common anti-depressants were all more effective at reducing symptoms of acute depression than dummy pills.

But it also showed big differences in how effective each drug is.""

Major takeaways: 

EDIT: Anti depressants do work better than placebos for most people but their effectiveness varies.

More people could be helped by anti-depressants.

Anti depressants don't work for everyone. 

EDIT: Please note as u/thatonejessica rightly pointed out the study ""excluded trials that included 20% or more of participants with bipolar disorder"". 

The study has been published in the Lancet and you can find out more in this article from the BBC 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-43143889",10.391879194630867,12.638741778523492,8.59415436241611,59.98532550335574,57.38926174496644,12.134496644295304,39.73221476510067,11.792908689023552,5.7829242953020135,771,37,93,23,10,232,103,149,0.119,0.8109999999999999,0.07,-0.7755,1,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,1,2,8,2,5,0,0,7,0,12,4,0,4,1,18,14,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,5,5,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,4,0,1,4,1,3,1,19,8,9,13,0,4,0,0,6,11,0,2,2,60,8,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690595370250203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071720392537912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09675072361798452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7305926665497319,0.0,0.0,0.12660515440719836,0.13888041597759476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14052793730416085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11579071328021212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11075444053918856,0.0,0.0,0.265730710037531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880648217527918,0.0,0.0,0.08122301790924105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821133072918972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520285746591424,0.0,0.0,0.1330169875094705,0.11455232012981614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348529744280296,0.0,0.09636556048559024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259502763892156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35287593003576473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,perfectra,2018/02/22,"Recently diagnosed with 2, not sure what this means I've kind of known I was bipolar (or had some underlying issue) since my mother was bipolar and I tend to have reactions like her. But I don't really know the difference between one and two or what bipolar really is. 

I was always diagnosed with anxiety and depression but I thought that I had depersonalization along with it and it was just not an issue to the psychiatrist.

I guess my questions are, what is bipolar disorder? Does this include depersonalization? Does this mean that emotions are all over the place and sporadic?

I am currently on Lamotrigine and Zoloft, any good experiences with that? Hoping it takes affect soon since I've been really manic and depressed at the same time.",5.278034825870645,7.921159365671643,6.1127611940298525,71.12620646766172,71.01492537313433,9.839800995024877,30.56965174129353,10.125756701596842,3.6919920398009936,601,26,99,18,12,197,83,134,0.105,0.828,0.067,-0.6412,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,5,0,14,7,0,1,2,32,22,11,0,1,7,1,0,1,0,0,7,0,0,0,12,12,0,0,6,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,8,0,11,5,13,14,3,9,0,2,0,0,3,5,0,6,5,75,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581231423115394,0.0,0.0,0.10282265746865313,0.0,0.11566924273262565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26046040713608115,0.3069340303604602,0.0,0.1579740811847202,0.17329078117979738,0.0,0.26463606788752303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700820849083669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14790473125891931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12682120266532312,0.0,0.0,0.16656623195757625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15017786703121042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156315544076401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15745378772988755,0.08309675586881457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738697405364735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3294069692798832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245850047111917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579740811847202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16938102957724868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905919368749992,0.0,0.149293897244988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250151987527976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250625155948196,0.0,0.1136852110982596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003762994425435,0.08816719862619424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14770254513868267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,HauntedVortex,2018/02/22,"Can I take Seroquel with Theraflu? I take 25 mg of Seroquel as sleeping pill every night. Just wondering if a can take one packet of Theraflu with it, are there any drug interactions that I should be worried about? Im very cautious when mixed drugs.  ",4.387340425531914,6.57666895744681,4.30739361702128,85.10875000000001,72.19148936170212,6.402127659574468,30.89893617021277,7.1686216300943375,1.8919404255319152,199,9,36,2,4,61,37,47,0.096,0.904,0.0,-0.5028,0,0,2,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,5,4,1,0,0,6,9,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,6,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,22,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601261811993251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5461357929296943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198391780444064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543456347095128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209705829505985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15955907788953266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356378559499791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5311274526498162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942855984157469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25535478896509245,0.0,0.2391289847579783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,shawnbenteau,2018/02/22,"Lithium and loss of identity I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 just about two years ago now and have been on lithium since. I started at I think 600, then 900 after a few weeks, then 1050 a few months later and finally 1200 after my counts didn't come back after a rough bout of serotonin syndrome a year and a half ago.

The changes were so slow that I didn't notice them until I went back and read posts I had made at the time. I've never really interacted with other bipolar people so I don't have much frame of reference, and I've been worrying lately that I might just be different now and I don't notice it (from either the lithium or the serotonin syndrome). It feels like the kind of thing that's impossible to know. I can't remember who I was six months ago, much less two years.

I've had the intrusive thought of ""stop taking your meds they're bad for you and you don't like swallowing them"" and was hoping to reach out for some commentary one way or the other. I hope this makes sense/sounds familiar to someone at least. ",5.121248606465997,5.548005792270532,5.6122705314009655,83.18612040133779,68.37198067632849,9.074544778892603,28.483463396506878,9.057496981413335,2.087000297287254,817,26,167,14,13,263,122,207,0.055,0.883,0.062,0.1027,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,3,2,1,9,7,0,0,12,0,18,4,0,2,1,32,30,16,0,2,5,0,2,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,10,13,1,1,6,1,0,2,7,2,0,5,13,2,18,5,23,15,8,36,0,1,0,0,7,5,0,6,29,116,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34892472734189744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20178216939048804,0.10955345101178822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13880098517639042,0.11302433359368888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317366390729993,0.0,0.13708474859598752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06634285950604359,0.09373523666597276,0.0,0.14373228066396168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606388971186038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663325492742506,0.07210865100141757,0.0,0.14800867889867314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820349685658128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12415246717485115,0.08758255996746259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14574284395103382,0.0,0.0,0.13919127300426187,0.0,0.0,0.2094584285962245,0.0,0.19290639695350528,0.0,0.1011959306984011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987630413475262,0.0,0.0,0.08891014065897138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096331545616032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566128332176524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124380813057446,0.0,0.08405539759388365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14863342784412598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853686270522216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11117236790516392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286991098614963,0.0,0.0,0.1096960150063148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865231350365387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08716896520593875,0.0840729815145716,0.0,0.10416473512338367,0.0765086156377238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25634289011813216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10414704232888304,0.10524738494079763,0.0,0.0,0.12163140982559167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13324839897350416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25348153261379625
bipolarreddit,scooting-pooting,2018/02/22,"Saw a new psychiatrist, and I am livid First, sorry for formatting. I’m on mobile. 

So today I went and saw a new doctor, because I felt my last one wasn’t listening to what I was saying, and I left there feeling worse than when when I went in. I told her as much of my history as I could remember. Answered honestly all the questionnaires she handed me, told her about my trip to the hospital, even my recreational drug use. 

At the end she pretty much told me she didn’t believe me. She asked that when I see her again to bring in a family member so she can verify my behavior in the past. I wouldn’t mind that IF 1) I hadn’t been on different medications for over 6 years 2) if I hadn’t been diagnosed for over 4 years by 2 different doctors. She then took my regular prescription and said to take 1/3 of what I was taking, and no mood stabilizer. 

I can see if she was suspicious if I came in looking for harder medication, but she doesn’t even prescribe any of that! I don’t understand why she would completely invalidate my past history. I’m sorry this is so long I’m just in complete disbelief. ",4.850598455598458,5.243561743243248,6.433925353925357,77.17783783783786,68.95495495495496,11.027541827541828,30.27155727155727,10.914260884657429,3.3049178893178905,865,32,177,26,14,298,123,222,0.054000000000000006,0.919,0.027000000000000003,-0.4926,2,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,12,2,0,0,7,0,18,7,1,1,1,23,43,19,0,7,6,0,3,0,0,2,6,3,0,0,6,6,0,0,5,0,0,6,8,0,0,2,20,11,38,1,26,20,3,33,0,0,5,0,19,11,0,4,16,123,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735484236175771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10634218947505633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693417883688179,0.0,0.0,0.12815885752309264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010128049074085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385323254936807,0.0,0.0,0.09082122472434276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545526111903245,0.0,0.2376919727252332,0.0,0.2328587247930224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319154926876134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10074996372855416,0.0,0.0,0.15026343368440442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723468197068288,0.0,0.057516117999015876,0.0,0.10921916800238853,0.0,0.0,0.09675686979666036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927225608029674,0.0,0.0,0.12359121241177025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066639599620128,0.09552251420942566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22918510585655544,0.0,0.0,0.1148564717681719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16724071245274064,0.0,0.0,0.2197235925294085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708088224603363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21717713604851027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572605269748013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288581444654522,0.0,0.10820361574500742,0.090459666835217,0.0,0.0,0.18129025248027286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25467072462980594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710537696625867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10782301218529776,0.3260829686402244,0.12638197396343118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11841920322958782,0.0,0.098244673966758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21089734666254786,0.10264293188135157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592237915872985,0.08080572007166056,0.0,0.0,0.14650432464459753
bipolarreddit,halfashell,2018/02/22,"Does this sound bi polar??? This all started last year when I started to feel really sad and depressed but here was no reason for it and then after six months I wouldn't feel it at all. I would feel like I'm on top of everything and I was doing really well in school. And now it kind of feels like it's happening again. But slowly creeping in on me. Like my grades are going down, I sleep more. I have become way more self-destructive and impulsive when it comes to my friendships and I can be just sitting at my computer looking at stuff and feeling content and instantly just go to sadness and pointlessness and the only way I feel like I can get rid of this is to go to sleep. Because when I wake up it's like my mood resets and I try to keep myself busy from my thoughts because they get really deep and depressive really fast. Does this sound like bi-polar or am I just over analyzing this?",3.000957642725595,4.714364270718235,4.175668508287295,86.61716758747698,74.80110497237571,7.699594843462247,24.221362799263353,8.447377352677275,1.4891765009208102,707,22,145,13,15,231,102,181,0.077,0.764,0.159,0.943,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,10,13,0,0,1,0,12,4,3,1,2,32,31,19,0,2,6,0,6,6,0,2,0,2,0,0,12,13,0,1,8,0,0,4,2,4,1,1,3,9,20,8,22,25,4,32,0,4,1,1,1,12,0,1,19,99,32,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15202765540240706,0.13771748497428601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074149915193661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21480182176544604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218245491175114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11206917179524678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37830177615540056,0.26724960894890304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13029754694190532,0.0,0.21260368008831573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026870123644207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108359767512856,0.0,0.12985221370163658,0.0,0.1016442887714822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3655224611305749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471365258249153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953155491367356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948373056579292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3195350782482513,0.1282087679670676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12619951305729749,0.0,0.0,0.13008564255816862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.249573104348394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765216459818804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14274765666795247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899509056269318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08466073675027846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979565517057594,0.0,0.0,0.11211712701877792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858081435870531,0.0,0.0,0.08030045628318044
bipolarreddit,Chipsandiscream,2018/02/22,"Hypomania of spring,anyone? As temperatures are not so cold...with minor routine and daylight changes, this year I see my annual spring/summer hypomania craze coming soon. Anybody else?  So far:

-i am angry at everyone

- i hate everyone. I think they are morons. Only i am right. I do my best not to insult anyone. 

- i am sleeping 4-5 hours instead of typical 8

- i just purchased 300 bucks of stuff from amazon and an online drawing course because i want to retake drawing and then maybe start playing the guitar again



Edit: how i am handling it. I realize that I shouldnt just write about getting in the hole. 


-Take my medication. If it gets worse then I will go to my doctor before the next checkup

-exercise (kickboxing). 

-do my best to keep my mouth shut at work

-think things through: there are better and worse people than I am. It is ok for everyone not to like me. I must be patient and grateful I have a job

-im still working on sleep

-get my salary, move 75 percent of it to another account so I dont see it on my checking account. Cook at home and do meal prep",2.2504938811188806,4.7305187259615415,3.754965034965036,84.98094405594408,80.49038461538461,6.281818181818182,25.8006993006993,7.520522993642371,1.5670500000000005,837,34,157,13,22,276,139,208,0.091,0.794,0.115,0.6312,2,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,1,5,12,9,3,0,5,1,18,9,3,1,1,22,32,14,0,4,6,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,1,0,9,7,2,1,3,4,5,3,5,3,0,0,0,2,27,6,22,28,3,22,0,0,2,0,3,9,0,1,11,106,36,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13987300698381408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865413948890056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131444622398158,0.0,0.1135066571117998,0.0,0.2799730771570895,0.11797426957728258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411109119722866,0.11490528520526848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136532231864688,0.0,0.0,0.15633427890161894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11143179142189737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3823849462465748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20907524053856824,0.0,0.07580967408332125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169685602100853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380292232803626,0.0,0.1313641228026132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440861104164284,0.0,0.13237084887502773,0.11856482358251492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516853009536695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13401006311162064,0.0,0.0,0.13437827610090014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417744482063463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186376768925568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145052846518984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247712747664937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391592865832895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21259210114154276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669764092430818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441545258044584,0.0,0.10652692017675468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15270177812058558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029408587399873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861963162767816,0.17094424911572387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0786779813487219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942217409840923,0.0,0.2718754242715021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589999124720403
bipolarreddit,sadstyles,2018/02/22,"i think this might be mania again and i'm scared i've been very stable for the last months and i'm on my medication but in the past few days i've been sleeping for 2-3 hours per night and even though it's not time enough to guarantee i'm having a manic episode i'm sure that it's not normal. this just can't be normal. i keep feeling a weird rush, my heart is racing all the time and i'm breathing fast even when i'm laying down. my head hurts a lot but when i drink coke it stops. today at my spanish class i thought my book was an ipad and started touching as if there were buttons and i was hearing the professor talking in french. i can barely talk coherently because there's too much in my mind and i forget things almost immediately. i've been studying obsessively lately to distract myself from how miserable my current life is and well it's been working so far but i also feel like i'm developing dementia as if my brain is not capable of storing so much information. holy shit this must be mania again.",3.411826923076924,4.820748067307697,4.6838461538461535,84.63615384615386,73.13461538461539,7.315384615384616,26.461538461538463,7.8658589789855275,1.4581673076923076,810,28,166,11,16,268,129,208,0.138,0.7909999999999999,0.071,-0.9316,2,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,16,10,1,4,8,0,18,10,6,1,3,35,32,22,0,5,9,0,3,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,9,8,2,2,5,2,1,1,4,7,1,0,8,4,17,3,14,19,6,26,0,2,0,0,4,7,1,5,19,104,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14917776977576186,0.0,0.0,0.11913591386953233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081428051217803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663062905783557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09607708301775034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593959335070414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393185154241204,0.0,0.1967942555037277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15065330724244785,0.10642835954030548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528921765418852,0.0,0.1679065826290157,0.1765370705683923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14671117927277175,0.0,0.15948170244349752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324165587753072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143518136250965,0.16805122015157753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522603132514496,0.07278206330453423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266539194573972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15007747119073367,0.0,0.15803980845495702,0.15042311557231666,0.0,0.11891108264240832,0.0,0.21902874631611716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398037203802835,0.2919293569541794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14221428245431542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915079041929696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15292154408781036,0.0,0.0,0.14908341411039924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10544585609925844,0.0,0.0,0.12455046085640198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14040795252520116,0.0,0.0,0.2394822509475973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897291882617927,0.09545769363279842,0.14636799221213076,0.11827016472618106,0.17373800382110985,0.0,0.14121166333614346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229206580900572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339471584476147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10845617529453852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,minspecmike,2018/02/22,"I turn 21 tomorrow I turn 21 tomorrow. This summer will mark my 2nd year since diagnosis. Little about me. Had on and off depression throughout most of my childhood. Got through HS relatively unscathed. Went to college. Then shit just fell apart. Dropped out of college. Combination of financial stuff and mental health. Lost job after that. Got diagnosed(Bipolar 2). Long time Girlfriend left me shortly after that. Its been about a year and a half since that. 2015 and 2016 were fucking rough man. 2017 was ok. Barely though. I went to the hospital for depression when I was younger(like 6th grade). Havnt been back since. Ive come close to going back but I havnt yet. Im dreading tomorrow. Every year I do. Just another year that I really dont want to be here. Been changing meds lately which dosnt help. Idk man...

TL;DR-Have bipolar 2. Am currently depressed. Turn 21 tomorrow. Dont want to be reminded of age since I dont really want to be alive to be quite frank. Will probably just play some PUBG and watch anime to get through the day tomorrow. Just wanted to rant I guess. Back to lurking.",1.5861083743842352,4.21040790640394,2.482837438423648,87.5923349753695,98.01477832512316,6.0638423645320225,22.54876847290641,7.33818517376401,1.5491442364532024,867,34,157,19,35,272,126,203,0.139,0.805,0.055,-0.9294,2,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,2,13,9,2,1,4,1,19,4,1,0,0,20,36,9,0,4,5,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,2,8,8,0,0,0,1,0,5,3,7,0,1,12,2,14,2,24,18,2,39,0,4,1,1,4,8,2,3,25,89,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105788535201255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432653576517141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115574992026908,0.09084021982076898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06800980703467797,0.0,0.2724849357301785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3707777297338798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885045903988023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097491528652812,0.05509593046039416,0.0,0.059932556156729336,0.0,0.16868413316223224,0.0,0.11617066744445145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11209382618105132,0.0,0.0,0.07068432191967944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11390959014605725,0.0,0.10464790186272452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11895793143864945,0.0,0.11457726058520624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569370122150358,0.0,0.0933244335188014,0.0,0.0,0.11511668471389608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171368285117251,0.0,0.10627392439695107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369841986864067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121644657499751,0.0,0.0,0.13511445813075584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082481313773394,0.348934150843763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12072084470889308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360908755484556,0.0,0.061491709278272064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441145574032503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488005702437283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19551584432051455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716384741940613
bipolarreddit,maudes_tooth,2018/02/22,I hate being manic I don’t want to be around Anyone. I’m having early warning signs of mania and I feel obnoxious I feel really high key and I don’t want people to see me like this because it’s so unlike how I normally am. I live with my partner and I feel so guilty that they have to be subjected to me When I’m like this. I’m lucky enough to have a job where I’m able to hide it from my supervisors and I have no coworkers. My family will likely catch on soon. I just want to disappear until I feel normal again. ,0.2263095238095261,2.2385928214285715,3.1160714285714306,89.34559523809527,85.07142857142857,6.590476190476192,17.36904761904762,7.793537801064563,0.4822297619047626,404,9,90,8,12,143,69,112,0.168,0.726,0.106,-0.8323,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,9,5,1,0,1,0,11,0,0,1,0,19,24,9,0,5,1,0,4,3,1,1,0,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,4,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,5,17,4,13,20,1,11,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,1,8,61,22,1,0.20761102875536147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14516645850260493,0.0,0.0,0.1848178316864175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12655775615336767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21451769063047932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957172010021664,0.0,0.41989749660861614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049729090518776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21935245051648086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20602191113243187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3042847854352273,0.0,0.1833243420013544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4068294563701584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14393134667259147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13300094120490252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654391104275175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673630913285655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lap3,2018/02/23,"Dx young as Bipolar. Worried about having kids. I would love to be a mother. I’m 27 and already know who I’m spending the rest of my life with. When his family makes comments like, “when are you going to have kids?!” I cringe internally. I can’t imagine going off my medication in order to have a child. I also have a career. The idea of tapering off my meds, which could render me as a potential harm to myself, is just not possible. Have any bipolar moms on here considered a surrogate? What was your experience like? Did you have children while on your medications? These questions keep me up at night. My fiancé is extremely supportive and even tells me it doesn’t matter even if we have to adopt. I want a child, but I just don’t know at what cost. ",2.2478603603603595,4.600703020270274,3.8850270270270286,84.78249549549552,79.60810810810811,7.189909909909911,23.380180180180183,8.238735603445708,1.5333553153153163,589,20,116,12,15,196,99,148,0.045,0.8640000000000001,0.09,0.5104,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,4,0,0,9,5,0,0,8,0,18,7,0,1,0,20,29,10,0,4,5,2,0,2,0,1,6,0,0,5,6,4,0,1,5,0,2,2,4,1,0,0,2,0,20,4,19,24,1,16,0,0,0,1,18,8,0,2,7,86,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091714882125812,0.15158187062077988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12889948300120005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15133905719509474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503899991848516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18541480897357965,0.1786894607215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21544956658562134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139771897336305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16847942008745262,0.0,0.0,0.2083418019774984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13388371439139465,0.18520764973395212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710749258400373,0.0,0.12652509866718176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21054565792311666,0.381900353675726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22199691765885812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17787843116891858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136874587138996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21233770532894908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21509739673199169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16567374768067414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11180061902642532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19249570729183896,0.0,0.13464981923259736,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,purplepippin,2018/02/23,"(UK) Just been referred for assessment by my doctor as possibly bipolar. Does anyone know what will happen now? Will I have a telephone consultation then a meeting for an actual assessment. What is it like to live with bipolar disorder?  Or bipolar 2 disorder?
I'm currently being treated for depression and anxiety and have previous alcohol issues. I don't think I am depressed though, although I have periods of depression. On reading about bipolar disorder I think it makes SO much sense as an explanation of my behaviour and feelings and my doctor agrees. 
To make things much harder, we are leaving the area in 6 weeks or so and my referral will have to be transferred to the new place we're living, which might delay things. 
My doctor warned me that a diagnosis isn't a quick fix 'medication sorted, now you're fine' sort of thing and I have to make changes to my life also to make myself happier and well, but this feels like a weird sort of relief.",6.275169491525425,7.572974553672321,6.895833333333336,71.8942584745763,66.17514124293785,10.645762711864409,34.52401129943503,10.686352973137794,4.0869062146892645,764,35,128,21,12,251,111,177,0.095,0.8029999999999999,0.102,0.5008,1,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,0,10,10,0,0,9,0,17,10,0,4,0,28,28,18,0,0,4,0,2,2,0,4,10,0,0,0,10,9,1,1,6,1,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,2,15,6,21,21,2,13,0,3,0,0,4,4,0,6,11,95,25,6,0.0,0.0,0.11941740398680542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307784351704578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978608313714817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361423279254696,0.0,0.0,0.08556533648431684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294533330974802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3161964314477342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4207466863338984,0.3757587328241427,0.1070885478250787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374990392699363,0.0874225698014377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821314128769996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772455802832053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06725244208774002,0.0,0.0,0.1295742619078593,0.0,0.0,0.08643495124968975,0.11956954024314632,0.0,0.2161134076137896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267369981442033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232768996672023,0.0,0.12981733671115145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17991497704228526,0.0,0.0,0.11818762466928592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12785267770274625,0.0,0.0,0.13795602520117387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240509956984776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24389552583276206,0.15682205233159086,0.12022985293703947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815942417890923,0.0,0.11002710987625564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,GlamMamTV,2018/02/23,"Am i bipolar? ive got a doctors appointment booked but im so nervous im thinking about cancelling Ive recently been experiencing moods which could suggest i may be bipolar, even getting to the point where i almost ended a 13 year relationship with my BF (in which we have 3 children together) because I felt i didn't love him anymore, only to now fall madly and deeply back in love with him, this all happened in a matter of 2 months and i have had this cycling feeling for almost about 2 years now, but its seems like the moods are getting stronger and i am now acting on them. Ive been hiding my depressive moods from people so no one really knows whats going on only my BF, i now tell him everything im feeling which i think has helped massively so far and he is so supportive.
I also have rushing thoughts daily but ive just always put that down to that just being me, i just thought it was normal.
i can also have obsessive thoughts and this could be on a certain hobby or person (my BF) i will think about it all day long and my brain is hard to shut off at night sometimes. i always have to have the tv on to fall asleep to distract my brain.
i get rushes of creativity and productivity. i can be super excited and obsessive about a project/s only forget about them and almost never finish what i plan to do or have started. i end up losing all interest.
I find it hard to concentrate for too long and i get easily distracted and im very forgetful. 
 My BF made a doctors appointment for me (because i was to nervous that the receptionist might ask me what the problem was and i know i would have freaked out if she had asked me, and i don't know why) Now im really anxious about this appointment just incase i tell the doctor everything and hes gonna tell me im being too dramatic or maybe not even believe me. im having my BF come with me for support but i know im gonna get so nervous im not gonna be able to speak because i know im gonna forget all of this.
Any insight or advice i would be so grateful for. I have been doing some research on bipolar, in one respect i would feel really relieved if it is bipolar but then on the other hand its super scary to think i could have a mental disorder as i have been completely healthy all my life and never thought i would ever have something like this. 
Thanks in advance to anyone who can offer some words of wisdom.
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bipolarreddit,temporaryidforthis,2018/02/23,"How seriously do I take BP break up in non-communicative phase? SO (""A"")  is BP2, rapid cycling, or maybe not.  Dx is up in the air, but has been treating for that for 10 years.  A is also currently treating for PTSD and has a bad case of seasonal affective disorder. 

One month ago, everything was fine.  We were engaged, no issues, planning to leave the state and this bad climate/latitude in the spring.   Then overnight, there was a sudden withdrawal  of communication.  This usually resolves in a few days. It didn't.  A week ago, A told parents that we were moving together (we are LGBT, this was a big step.) 

Then I had a bad week and needed communication and it wasn't happening.  I admit I called and texted more than I should have, but I've been supportive through MULTIPLE issues and haven't asked for a lot back.  

A responds that s/he wants to move to another state, on the other side of the country, not where I can readily work, but one state I can't really work in.  Wants to stay friends.  Which is not really possible right now, when all of my plans are being yanked out from under me. 

I don't know how seriously to take this.  A claims to lose his/her mind here because of the winter every February.  This one arrived right on schedule.  Says is tired of being medicalized, but A doesn't work and is probably disabled because of multiple medical issues, which I have been doing my best to help with.  Won't leave the house for more than a few hours. 

A says will think about it for a couple of weeks, rather than ending things right this minute.  I don't think s/he means it right now.  Meaning I don’t think there’s any real intent to stay with me.

I'm being intentionally vague because I don't want any possible invasion of his/her privacy.  But I'm tired, and I admit I'm having invasive thoughts of my own.  Fellow BP travelers, how do I evaluate how serious this is?  Should I assume I'm being discarded for no reason at all?  What do I do?  ",3.8975681530962234,5.3493069947644045,5.2084979238129625,81.18175392670156,71.98429319371728,9.038599025094783,27.570319552265747,9.494082108488547,2.4246527170969494,1520,55,303,36,29,507,194,382,0.139,0.79,0.07200000000000001,-0.9702,2,0,0,0,0,0,59.0,3,0,0,8,16,15,0,0,23,0,46,5,0,8,2,54,69,23,0,7,10,1,0,0,2,4,5,2,0,0,19,14,0,0,12,1,0,4,15,7,0,3,13,2,24,8,45,48,9,53,0,1,0,0,15,20,0,3,23,205,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15670286012928694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068457436917558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12021497102566538,0.09268347231870804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08263169335129925,0.0,0.0,0.06796561103764663,0.22140312779242236,0.16164316593087005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927587012899329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025495316785756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09780064078004197,0.0,0.057003530666485225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10130134131621343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782863334775062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07447146356449122,0.0,0.07943824731223842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828904775429602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07816201564890422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059245219003983586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704526557333732,0.10198892756908236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767651539700855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048576229913828865,0.0,0.0,0.1871821733741406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888457425437462,0.0,0.07514508512385247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879853406076765,0.19256285648766613,0.0,0.17808504302298614,0.0,0.0,0.08924759591098981,0.0,0.07055117966830002,0.187886832909134,0.0,0.06553925213509264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796838260461766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814541745720434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992904165302226,0.0,0.0,0.09529818781000546,0.0,0.1033218984410969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060592322464076,0.11324839009784055,0.09087851417313028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3019345633052966,0.0,0.14058080781460014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884216216908551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003026804831781,0.0,0.0,0.13291491092214186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058721660111364274,0.1699081215447767,0.0,0.0701709164156614,0.0,0.20318008458145095,0.0,0.08445938532571008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734788995501167,0.0,0.15640219647104456,0.0,0.2127007410780544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19304452384018744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05691955605028776
bipolarreddit,0unique_username0,2018/02/23,"Polyamory Hope everyone is doing well. Was wondering if any of you have tried a polyamorous lifestyle and if so, what your experiences were. I've always wanted to but haven't ever jumped in. I've come far in learning how to live with BP II and am considering starting to pursue romance poly style. ",5.755714285714286,7.285180285714286,5.673571428571428,79.32142857142857,67.57142857142857,8.457142857142857,31.857142857142854,8.841846274778883,2.6531214285714286,240,10,43,4,4,75,48,56,0.0,0.8540000000000001,0.146,0.8126,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,1,1,13,12,7,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,2,3,7,10,0,7,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,4,2,27,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679185846854108,0.0,0.0,0.21896188009053247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27736288280824045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912552482030415,0.0,0.3076719254586012,0.0,0.3149646082684751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3198052736884838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843200028517832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279037214221759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186077164237657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18991599630452774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28950455725260044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3491806540513031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fakejacki,2018/02/23,"I had a rare win today. I’ve been considering getting a new car for a while, and recently I have been more and more obsessed and interested in it, even though it’s really not an immediate need. I was bored and had an abnormal amount of free time today and im trending towards manic so I found myself driving to the dealership just “look” at this one I really liked. I had a plan. I told the sales guy straight up when I got there, this is what I’ll pay, I’m not paying any money today other than a straight trade and increasing my payment. Okay cool we have an understanding. 

So I drive the car, it’s exactly what I thought it was and I really liked it. We go inside. I let him run my credit and talking about numbers. He comes back WAY more than what we already talked about, and wanting a bunch of money down. I was clear It was too much but I still let him run back and forth to “try something” and “see what we can do” and I even started agreeing to pass my boundaries and give them a down payment which would have really hurt our savings and put us in a bad financial situation. I called my dad and I called my husband and basically had them talking me off a ledge because I told myself a thousand times like a mantra “if it isn’t the right deal I’m not doing it.” After 3 hours of then trying hard to pressure me I just told them I am leaving right now give me my keys. I was shaking and so uncomfortable and I’m still surprised I got out of there without fucking myself financially.



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bipolarreddit,mysterymoe,2018/02/24,"What do mixed states feel like? I have had depression for a few years now, but I recently learned that I have been experiencing ""hypomania"" symptoms with my depression. I'm going to see my psychiatrist to see what she thinks but in the mean time I'd like to know of your experiences of mixed states. I feel hesitant because from what I've read my symptoms are a lot milder than what they were experiencing. Like I feel empty and it's hard to enjoy things but I also feel agitated and my mind jumps from idea to idea. I also feel very tired all the time but for some reason feel that I don't need to sleep. I have thoughts of feeling worthless and hating myself. Despite feeling empty all the time and feeling exhausted and that nothing brings me joy I get very creative and I have a bunch of ideas of all the things i want to do and feel like I have to do them. I also get frustrated and annoyed easily and feel talkative even though I think that people don't like me. I feel that it is useful for you to know that I have never experienced a hypomanic or manic episode.

What do you guys think? Am I overreacting? What are your experiences with mixed states like?",5.278552631578949,6.107323083333334,5.916070175438597,79.72015789473686,68.16666666666666,9.237894736842106,28.796491228070174,9.3871,2.3042470175438594,925,31,185,18,15,301,109,228,0.187,0.659,0.154,-0.9112,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,4,2,0,6,15,3,0,8,0,19,5,1,2,4,50,49,18,0,2,5,0,13,6,0,0,4,0,0,1,16,11,0,0,24,1,0,3,3,7,0,0,4,18,32,8,23,45,7,14,0,3,2,0,8,1,0,3,13,126,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22906117295765716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05820250429327811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16447012775952324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06306232035451866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18679161500107003,0.0,0.0,0.5793185639167812,0.1364190085113435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09976663147525958,0.0,0.05426234926513246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453823377164804,0.0,0.0,0.08552953669016602,0.09426476086254597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233491305117156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494442671285058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798743762367465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08117198362862266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400353535121733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640556507775228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07079572925592786,0.07363852176771607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161371871295253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06619242531842164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550384047264816,0.0,0.0,0.098167288685569,0.09427300918243414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15216721325660884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554695584086577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984764055029018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686268504052065,0.18353534682502967,0.09380665295236973,0.07579886920228565,0.16702197368531235,0.10973791880150964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246233898566843,0.0,0.15755870309977835,0.056315399782983576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06148470341403426
bipolarreddit,GoatMoatBoatStout,2018/02/24,"creative work and getting way, way overly excited? So for years, because I haven't been able to do any normal job, I've been making creative projects at home as my ""job"". But I've always had extremely huge trouble actually getting creative work done, even though I'm never not extremely passionate about my projects, even when I'm really depressed.

I'm now on Lamictal, and have been for a few months, and holy f'ing shit it makes such a huge different and I think it's going to save my entire future. One thing I wasn't expecting was that it's given me tons of insight into what feelings and levels of excitement and joy aren't actually normal, because I now barely ever get them totally randomly out of the blue (except when I was off the meds for a few days and it was... yeah). But obviously they're not 100% gone.

So the point of the post is...
I'm realizing so much about why putting in the time to create things was always so difficult: because pretty much every single time I would then hypomanic-ish feelings would come up and it would make functioning so difficult. I would usually get so overstimulated I had to stop, or I'd keep going but then have a massive crash into depression a few days later, if I started working on something at night then instead of sleeping after I'd have to spend hours obsessing over how amazing the thing I'm making is. And I guess I knew this already, that this happens, but now it's like ""WOW SO THESE FEELINGS **AREN'T** NORMAL? NO WONDER THEY INCAPACITATED ME"". And because I'm more consciously aware of them, I've been trying to practice working on stuff WITHOUT getting sucked down the rabbit hole of having these intense feelings. And even on drugs that help, it's fucking difficult. I can do only an hour of being productive and then my mood and energy is just totally different afterwards and it's so exhausting, but stopping and trying to relax immediately helps me not spin into something for hours or days that leaves me completely drained. And also it's no fucking wonder that my anxiety around starting a work session never got better after years, because it could result in such intense draining awful things.

So I'm wondering who here can relate?

When I read about bipolar I don't see anything about how the uppy-feelings can be triggered so incredibly easily and consistently by one thing, which is why I didn't see things from this perspective before. But now that I don't really get those feelings randomly without reason since being on Lamictal, I see how abnormal they are and now recognize that's why other creative people are able to get so much done, because working on something creative for over an hour doesn't make life into the most exciting thing ever in the world. But even on pills I still get the feelings pretty much every time when working on anything I'm passionate about. So yeah, I dunno, hoping people can relate because I don't want to feel so alone and freakish and broken anymore.",6.4761711711711705,7.494517261261264,6.942499999999999,72.74708333333334,65.57657657657657,9.554054054054054,33.975225225225216,9.656535879935292,3.4269549549549545,2380,103,394,47,36,777,248,555,0.114,0.733,0.153,0.967,4,1,4,0,0,0,60.0,0,0,4,8,45,26,4,1,19,3,45,11,2,11,7,97,97,57,0,12,17,0,7,1,0,4,5,0,1,0,35,27,0,3,16,2,1,5,18,12,0,2,18,11,33,13,60,71,13,80,0,2,4,4,7,30,4,12,43,287,68,13,0.1161649167013686,0.0,0.11336020170984602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06015591009838171,0.06409543710180181,0.04644852095842801,0.09665851647299324,0.0,0.0,0.03949806341082989,0.0,0.0444329216595939,0.0,0.057602191461745174,0.0,0.0,0.09559382855285886,0.05170570212837456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24784569256082664,0.0,0.049423894081234813,0.0,0.0,0.051369214390267766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050032894896777716,0.06089835251567844,0.0,0.0,0.04637411678037075,0.0,0.0,0.11237514178289797,0.0,0.10005267253676887,0.0,0.0,0.12136761351074622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188770413831305,0.0,0.0,0.06735721172669748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534516638076638,0.10507781772337953,0.09787395247267797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23494588899768865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10739259363388548,0.24276549778536102,0.0,0.06601919918294367,0.0,0.04645384787659015,0.0,0.063984376147534,0.0,0.0513621260992457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07786289501357539,0.0,0.05826144147992071,0.057688986658512485,0.2287980866206211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11527575528541215,0.05162635770984509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061500936948446425,0.0,0.0,0.041025358035450855,0.028376155291849805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19385245983381197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06451651747466462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046360864116540564,0.0,0.17078915976426068,0.0,0.08959354510005131,0.0,0.0,0.05450645254848288,0.1707254313302542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871635392852135,0.04417432687150815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053412671365906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054906697051049634,0.0,0.055626939625531724,0.1181814823266934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05838891312508005,0.0,0.0,0.05809817628879661,0.0,0.07441822021158946,0.059718440804281424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13885259803278724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059620808829623125,0.04804640975524939,0.0,0.058124404807472566,0.0,0.0,0.13414414227158894,0.0,0.0,0.08222212593877368,0.0,0.04638472626702657,0.0971190718829908,0.0,0.0,0.06649051870512243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701118312328803,0.037216894044241264,0.05706572042879879,0.0,0.10160504565312334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07886835317483153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06396962204537135,0.0,0.03425853879983886,0.09220630384574513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572311535390347,0.0,0.0,0.11197883434539987,0.18896384534857344,0.2959930500662691,0.0,0.0,0.16504044778073773,0.0,0.0,0.07480639773928217
bipolarreddit,mm_writer,2018/02/24,"Afraid of being a hypochondriac The title says a lot. I saw a comment a few days back saying people with bipolar tend to be hypochondriacs as well. My first reaction was, not me! Now I’m not so sure.

I have a UTI with kidney pain. I know this because I have chronic UTIs and have for most of my adult life. I also have a bladder that has moved lower due to having four children. ANYHOW...I know the symptoms and I have been “waiting” to make sure it wasn’t in my head or simple dehydration before going to the doctor. Today is Saturday and thankfully his practice is open on weekends. I haven’t called yet, but I will when they open. The pain is worse this morning.

And then I realized that every time I get a cold, I recheck the symptoms of the flu, pneumonia, etc. in order to rule those things out.

If I get a rash, I will look up different rashes to make sure it’s not some flesh eating bacteria. I had shingles behind my knees last year and wrote it off as dermatitis and didn’t go to see my doctor until it hurt too much to walk.

I guess I’m sort of the opposite. I try to rule out worse illnesses? But then I thought - hey, maybe that’s how you justify it, but you’re a hypochondriac silly.

Except when it comes to UTIs. I know every symptom I’ve experienced.
",1.9004705882352937,4.056964380392159,3.519764705882356,87.99494117647059,79.70588235294117,6.5898039215686275,22.749019607843138,7.699297019823105,1.094636078431373,987,32,201,16,25,327,152,255,0.159,0.8220000000000001,0.019,-0.9889,2,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,1,1,1,10,10,0,1,16,0,20,20,7,3,3,40,41,21,0,1,9,0,0,0,0,2,12,2,0,2,13,13,1,1,5,1,0,5,6,4,1,2,8,7,27,6,29,29,6,32,0,1,3,0,11,9,0,7,17,139,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834795287925302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456488592304543,0.0,0.07496814596441398,0.0,0.10464787050078284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557746807544615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593734069864012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931264491539912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284890895159542,0.0,0.2517527638098931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12584038246055565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13715645132036072,0.0,0.0,0.2072337862922331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10460767321711764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128505112995266,0.0,0.13978600300709998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354775626978122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621410358772772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13165382668900927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20276161297932385,0.1002460224345323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868651981951409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327316264257623,0.0,0.0,0.10455414574995198,0.0,0.0,0.16418169786139308,0.0,0.12355105935763425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307094621032173,0.09040526958767983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26172115340351976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08525962006729512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1955990367922036,0.0,0.0,0.0980000258832252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34772473514434504,0.3834733999569209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11322448725010825,0.0,0.0,0.08170318790435299,0.0,0.0,0.0976332678343319,0.07171127688601944,0.0,0.11657171679559886,0.0,0.0,0.08349610409171923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105747914247108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506565246079462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919580568038148
bipolarreddit,cbudryk,2018/02/24,"I’ve been drinking a lot lately and it’s definitely having an effect on me. Tonight I feel like self harming. I don’t think I will. But the urge is there and that makes me sad. I also just caught myself thinking “I wanna do something stupid, like climb on the roof of my apartment building.” 

Idk, feeling manic, but a medicated sort of manic so the urge is there but I won’t take the bait and it’s so frustrating. ",0.5553246753246768,3.0040965238095265,2.4191341991341986,91.3198051948052,89.71428571428572,4.4831168831168835,20.731601731601728,6.11248444174946,0.2220380952380956,324,11,66,3,11,107,57,84,0.158,0.7609999999999999,0.081,-0.8054,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,6,6,2,0,7,0,8,2,0,2,0,16,15,9,0,1,4,0,2,2,0,2,1,0,0,1,3,3,1,0,5,1,0,2,2,4,0,0,2,2,10,2,5,11,1,7,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,2,4,46,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365275315694548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2897424517286541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29910086494869925,0.21129847712103425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3336419639439467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2889970155398423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514534699054833,0.0,0.0,0.1974290800527148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979576237926377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30855309696383065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276985516531899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223825783047921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3790355386706482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Heavyscooter,2018/02/25,"Omg I love Lithium I had the choice between Depakote and Lithium and I love it.  I always had trouble concentrating and racing thoughts but now I can sing along to music, do my hw, and notice small things like micro expressions (just random things).  I'm on 300 mg 3x a day, granted my lithium levels are at 0.4 but things are looking great so far.  Almost no side effects other than dry skin, extreme thirst and tremors",2.693192686357243,5.464324620253166,3.2181434599156127,87.6242897327708,81.27848101265823,4.523769338959212,26.499296765119553,5.82211442006289,0.9802393811533059,331,14,58,2,9,103,61,79,0.053,0.754,0.193,0.9185,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,2,0,6,4,2,1,0,13,11,8,0,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,6,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,7,4,6,8,0,8,0,0,1,2,3,6,0,2,3,37,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732698598938977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22707460357693754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17599787860309515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008731365900257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13332512124236365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22916720985806965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49260568366189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106983794284191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5439077625622453,0.0,0.0,0.2166520614494596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thepeter,2018/02/25,"Swelling on Zyprexa? Not sure if this is allowed, but curious about a side effect my wife is having.

She's on 5mg Zyprexa for nausea related to her cancer.  

We've asked the doc already and waiting message back, but does anyone on Zyprexa seem to have a problem with swelling? Her ankles have started up a few days ago along with a few other symptoms, including bloating.

A lot of the problems seem to hint towards water retention but wanted to know anyone had experience with this.",6.218333333333334,7.379406611111111,6.124444444444446,77.87000000000003,66.22222222222223,8.222222222222221,37.22222222222222,8.344100000000001,3.2285555555555554,385,20,65,5,6,121,66,90,0.158,0.8109999999999999,0.031,-0.92,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,7,0,6,3,0,2,1,21,13,5,0,4,5,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,5,1,1,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,4,1,16,12,3,10,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,4,4,46,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20674942582124148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573814574759179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32616772840406577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21804394815669476,0.0,0.0,0.17934390024572436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15041776806569862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20410618258129645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22814932464762394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281802723314522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19828869989771394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44635024028715575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4246581466564414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650854691674701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198219406142192,0.2424212557598777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756849232954116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hunklette,2018/02/25,"Alcohol causing instability? Does anyone else experience depression after drinking? Even if it’s only a beer or two? I recently stated clawing my way out of a bad depressive episode and was on a roll of 2 days pretty stable until I drank last night. I only had one beer, but it made me so tired I had to take a nap and then boom; wake up not feeling great. Ruined the rest of my night because I just lost all desire/pleasure from doing things. Now I feel this apathetic mild depression just sitting there today and am worried its going to stay for awhile. Do I need to just give up alcohol? ",4.884195652173915,6.0182584086956545,6.2284239130434775,76.01133152173915,69.26086956521739,8.880434782608695,30.02717391304348,9.188382445141503,2.6559782608695657,467,18,85,9,8,158,89,115,0.255,0.69,0.055,-0.9788,0,0,5,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,7,7,0,0,5,0,6,8,1,2,1,17,15,9,0,2,7,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,4,6,0,2,4,0,1,1,6,0,2,6,3,10,1,14,9,2,19,0,5,0,0,1,4,0,2,10,59,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3329689042931586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892696604575326,0.15961790304073126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13007214307469614,0.09496375780977827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600318628669572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004670277770258,0.0,0.402526529635147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13632659079146384,0.0,0.0,0.15260785109623076,0.0,0.0,0.13013655192031434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10289307977012244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238548498253873,0.0,0.0,0.15753694354595962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494410707749046,0.0885349635101313,0.0,0.0,0.1717511029739162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12698378589201567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17005534444249995,0.0,0.0,0.14740546577310565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155109830523739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29238323682625833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055624668121198,0.2369597005753443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584871273032684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538167355632774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16604375271913838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712928911126955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034951798343628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1790494287170943,0.14766389296197988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15217717366127978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365314707567965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15820501002648354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Extremeoncaffeine,2018/02/25,"Hypomania and self control I need help. I need help. I know I am the only one who is responsible for the behaviours I produce, I know I have to help myself, but I need help.

I have the opportunity of my life, to enter a training that might lead to employment with a big software company, it is something that I never did before, I am excited and have big ambitions. Not to be the CEO, lol, just to follow my dreams in an environment that is beneficial for me intelectually.

But then again, I took the interview when I was on the low phase, and now the excitement has triggered my hypomania. I am a different person, to say so, from the one who applied. I am afraid they will realize I am mentally ill, unstable and possibly a liability for the company. I hope I am not a liability, but I feel like it when I take bad decisions because I am hypomanic, when I can't express myself clearly for the same reasons, when I do weird things, etc.

Tomorrow is my first day of training. I am pondering if I should double my antipsychotic dose (got approval to do it when I am not well, from my pdoc) or just go there as I am and deal with my mood, stay focused no matter how much effort that takes.

I need to be stronger than I think I ever was. More disciplined than I honestly think it is possible for me. I just met my own limits and I am so very scared.",4.835412642669009,5.271361619402988,6.89330992098332,73.71964442493417,69.0,10.783494293239684,32.555750658472355,10.718039707386858,3.5301871817383663,1046,45,211,30,17,371,143,268,0.115,0.69,0.195,0.9724,2,0,1,0,0,0,34.0,0,0,1,8,16,13,0,2,16,1,31,3,0,6,3,47,48,21,0,7,11,0,1,1,0,3,3,1,0,2,11,8,0,3,9,1,0,5,6,5,1,3,6,2,46,7,24,37,6,24,0,1,0,0,14,5,0,4,14,170,57,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11450926794862472,0.08360153166849484,0.0,0.11669919466682027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15381833044434104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844634624890256,0.14138914131536245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14328598564146286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529514870761302,0.0,0.12405433579869556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06934397963271889,0.0979754926246611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11665436823500593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779419299148579,0.0,0.1096863518577209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3676981472797948,0.0,0.0,0.13621464697071373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507411909469964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968686570059812,0.06700148848766653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138208601439637,0.14548780188439847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081640557071912,0.4067612879033585,0.10577368249592416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18586425212607066,0.10430397010767237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11974859622345015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3092178498144055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14100657340279946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10906218139950184,0.13730477693921486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14307079770659994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055799268982158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14617694551547555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20623000181940573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911121858908592,0.1757523013392969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15237170611224027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11315792221301695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330866407471565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bethmac121,2018/02/25,"Alternatives to Lamictal Hi guys. I have bipolar 2. I’ve been on Lamictal for about three years I think. But I think it’s giving me a rash. I have eczema so it’s hard to tell. My dermatologist took a biopsy to see if the rash is being caused by the med. Meanwhile, I’m kind of a mess. I’m gonna need a mood stabilizer. I talked to my psychiatrist today (on a Saturday)-called and left a msg and she called me back. She’s going to see me tomorrow (yes, on a Sunday!) at no charge. She asked me if I had ever been on Depakote. I have not. She wants to try that, for now. I should get the results of the biopsy by the end of next week. 

Have any of you with bipolar 2 ever taken Depakote?",-0.5607622504537204,1.6113577586206915,2.2787295825771317,92.31791288566244,92.10344827586206,5.259528130671507,17.286751361161524,6.8360192770164,-0.007896551724138057,525,14,121,8,19,183,86,145,0.095,0.887,0.018000000000000002,-0.8386,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,0,12,1,10,4,2,2,2,16,25,6,0,5,4,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,5,3,19,1,21,17,0,19,0,0,2,0,12,6,0,2,11,78,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13297299296704168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828022497549197,0.0,0.0,0.15035715837056912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19966683268206145,0.0,0.0,0.20087206570177987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17318921232693105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35375182250813697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10216087841411124,0.18757849874057228,0.11112912571602512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19361401428543185,0.0,0.0,0.17516423015216534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036234223456379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212453324408081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21719936836357287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144989437486355,0.0,0.0,0.20795758146593527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3116379884185541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571665666885883,0.17090940609095087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505865534988795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18534778435653526,0.0,0.21725064419895115,0.13275791350777372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11533376691179865,0.0,0.1568493169979541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592048497430738
bipolarreddit,kandykong,2018/02/25,"Getting out of the house while feeling like shit Had grocery shopping to do..one of my least favorite things when I'm depressed. I pulled into a dollar store parking lot spot and noticed a car behind me wanting *me* to pull forward into the spot ahead of me (making my car backwards) so they could pull in and have my primo spot. I was parked correctly, already parked and I wasn't going to pull forward. The lady sat there for 4 mins waiting for me. She finally sped off and went around the parking lot to the other side to pull into the spot she wanted me to go in and gave me the meanest glare. At this point my adrenaline kicked in and I gave her a thumbs up with a huge grin. I don't have time for weird shit and I'm not going to let someone bully out of my spot. But anyway, she waited in her car for me to get out. She was twice my size and looked like she was going to kill me. Needless to I stayed in the car and ended up leaving because I didn't need a scene in front of my kids or harm done. The adrenaline on the other hand has kicked off a good sensation and for the time today I don't feel sad. Thank you scary lady for the uplift. ",2.477632680026428,3.841156142259418,3.633781105483376,91.4146487557807,75.44351464435147,5.868399031050428,23.039198414446158,6.05967700443912,0.3490786610878658,894,25,193,5,19,290,124,239,0.125,0.7929999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.9159,0,0,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,1,1,1,5,12,3,0,18,0,14,3,3,1,1,33,36,15,1,4,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,18,0,2,2,1,3,17,5,7,0,1,11,4,32,5,43,23,3,51,0,2,1,0,12,25,2,3,14,133,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17532906672967993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14143772019796233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685234557925754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12685350132805362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136843919730355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625903626196185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407213533668188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16066995293484684,0.11350457438518025,0.0,0.17404630235596938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16601746585045524,0.0,0.3611827956053044,0.13326179336403593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18332727154830228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757782185516111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682319735341797,0.0,0.1624665243794721,0.0,0.15524240256898528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13341997335867886,0.0,0.0,0.27014978496934383,0.0,0.0,0.10605426034284607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11780820290618615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18088700181669853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150193841971618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3261780008821448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13461930381031434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16934594092036725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627622206886526,0.0,0.0,0.10555343590323868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18528950613748504,0.0,0.15060055246949755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18742418826969592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14728422197641808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hoochipopl,2018/02/26,"Seeing my therapist makes me feel like crap on a regular basis This is my DBT therapist. I dread going to see him. I want to quit gracefully. Any advice?

Edit: I already have another therapist lined up. I'm not quitting therapy. Just don't want to see this therapist/do this type of therapy anymore.",1.0036842105263162,3.4562466491228068,3.8154561403508787,77.86002631578948,100.05263157894736,8.595789473684214,26.752631578947373,8.548686976883017,3.5690926315789486,237,12,40,9,10,83,42,57,0.096,0.757,0.146,0.2263,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,1,4,1,1,1,0,3,1,1,1,0,6,12,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,4,7,2,6,12,0,3,0,0,3,0,1,2,1,0,1,22,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579383435100654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646428848800976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145925203392132,0.1564463343813499,0.0,0.0,0.14796359002302287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0754386168196738,0.1065865513484777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479224030947494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07289024430296717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959032864523468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3173792991303236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35667269538867064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3412401357377982,0.6929180664077046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17600081736937453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,chatterpillar,2018/02/26,"Just had worst case scenario with Topiramate do yourself a favor don’t take take it I’m now tapering off and I can’t believe I’m still alive. The last 4 weeks of being on this drug I can only describe as trauma (actual PTSD nausea inducing flashbacks) and it makes me queasy even to write. It’s therapeutic to rant but mostly I’m just so frightened to try any other drug ever again. It made me aggressively suicidal, (if anyone is thinking of trying this drug and wants more details ama) I’ve already been on the basics I feel lithium, seroquel, lamictal, saphris. Lithium I was on for many yrs and was ok but then something changed. I kinda just wanna try just not being sedated I’ve had a few windows now between drugs and now that I’ve been to literal hell and back on this drug I feel I have this new found grit. Do you guys have any different drug recommendations? Or how do you get the courage to try another one? Any one have any success going drug free after lithium? ",2.756891705704053,5.175562005235605,4.084453017360154,83.68393496831084,78.16230366492147,6.743565720584184,26.80655828051805,7.85451343220497,1.813339267015707,777,32,145,13,19,255,120,191,0.133,0.769,0.098,-0.8463,1,0,8,0,0,0,17.0,0,2,0,1,14,9,2,0,5,1,18,7,0,4,1,30,32,14,1,3,9,0,2,0,0,0,7,0,1,1,10,7,0,0,5,0,1,1,3,4,0,2,8,2,11,6,18,22,4,18,1,0,0,0,4,5,1,4,12,94,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0941655231982095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064849969966994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26248053551752304,0.1011837678796436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06747177889218561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741989530494021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10871719380106214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102079265114683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008170826548984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7833276390520564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373425589463008,0.08728555112996689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758187718015597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058021495382158,0.0,0.0,0.050414827621656284,0.0,0.054840520203915055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955455484218769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865657362567068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130621512000124,0.06441138257757814,0.09783111984466414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319579174377801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077546687694078,0.07338904728541949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11279787784383465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428681995062754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07706129578915376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10555023002018447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14510495947155913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06183031163720865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620559818514905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05691544618719201,0.0,0.07740273382314743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Sera3125,2018/02/26,Bipolar friends I have no bipolar friends in real life (just a few family members who are usually unstable and I tend to distance myself). I honestly feel it could be destructive to my own stability so I tend to be OK with it. But at times I do think it would be nice to have someone I can talk to that really gets what I go through. What are everyone's thoughts on this?,2.2647428571428563,4.3299364266666664,4.164571428571431,84.28800000000003,78.06666666666666,8.552380952380952,30.714285714285715,9.23628265651192,2.958428571428571,292,15,60,8,7,99,55,75,0.107,0.71,0.183,0.7378,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,1,1,11,3,0,0,0,10,18,3,0,2,2,0,1,0,2,1,3,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,9,5,10,12,2,6,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,2,46,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22723338833900106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27195162095884784,0.0,0.0,0.2682996205524885,0.0,0.14390449387453755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43976917802322013,0.0,0.14869400881215772,0.0,0.1617471918313456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010244455623168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239420201022216,0.1823248129223154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24114431387705135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22875416906107496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823629542569785,0.0,0.22594403676766875,0.1659550657352237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31345144613703585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20217474081402428,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PassionatelyCurious9,2018/02/26,"Seroquil did not do it at all, and I don't know about this Tegridol stuff either? Was on seroquil 150 mg extended release at night, got better but it made me sleep like a person after a week long meth binge every single night. Not to mention I gained a hefty 30 lbs in 3 months. Now I am on Tegridol but day to day I shift from completely stable to racing thoughts. Extreme confidence to loss of it all. What worked for you guys? I am not sure if I need to up my dosage of Tegridol, but I don't want to start sleeping 16 hours a day again either.",3.3887831858407083,4.271039238938052,4.224944690265488,89.92998340707967,72.53982300884954,6.7119469026548675,25.629424778761074,6.6274283507984215,0.8302398230088497,426,13,92,3,8,137,78,113,0.084,0.8,0.116,0.6954,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,1,0,4,3,4,0,0,4,0,7,2,2,1,3,18,14,5,0,3,9,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,5,0,10,3,18,9,5,19,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,1,14,60,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17523437449455875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20774085875169296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3833422004365761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16693734802482435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584667212092287,0.0,0.0,0.19618487716637914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19512313975601864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888985674138514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09679879052364546,0.0,0.0,0.1753433083621437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18748020073892788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15814952829078827,0.0,0.0,0.1469146491728065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3718726958012548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17300390697242635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39655633593787903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14024102742773847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22681725997581775,0.0,0.0,0.18673996541527255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15729711938261884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686520202700808,0.0,0.15893200759481094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14424469596862569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Kafkaesque92,2018/02/27,"I'm an idiot, and I am pretty sure I've become a burden Long story short at the beginning of this year I went inpatient (I didn't know I was bipolar) because I wanted to kill myself. Over the course of the past two months, I have been forced to resign from my work. I wasn't stable and did not have enough FMLA time. I broke it off with my boyfriend (I realized after four years he was mildly emotionally abusive) and I am currently cat sitting for a friend, but I have been here since mid-January. 
I feel like I have way overstayed my welcome here. I was going to go a couple of hours back to my original city and stay with a friend. I think I got confused and she got upset and felt her boundaries were broken about me staying too much. I feel like an asshole. I feel like I probably just lost a friend and I didn't mean to overstep. I let her know I meant no harm and I thanked her for her help and wished her a good night. I hate this illness. 
I am going to be flying out to my brother's on the 12th to be with his family that isn't triggering, stabilize, and get ready to come back and move in with my best friend once I find work. I have a couple of friends I am staying with a couple of days before I fly out, but for that first two days, I think I will just sleep in my car. I feel like a complete loser. I feel worthless. I don't want people to think I am using them. I'd rather curl up in my car than lose my friends. Sometimes it feels like it would just be easier to be dead.",2.421666666666667,3.547136554140132,3.7927547770700656,91.17325106157114,75.17834394904456,6.7619957537154995,22.955944798301488,7.1686216300943375,0.6144441613588114,1154,31,261,12,24,380,166,314,0.177,0.616,0.207,0.9292,1,0,0,0,0,2,30.0,0,0,1,7,10,29,3,2,15,0,29,3,1,3,1,51,60,13,2,5,7,1,7,5,6,2,2,0,0,0,7,19,0,0,16,0,0,8,7,13,0,4,16,7,54,16,38,37,3,41,0,6,0,0,18,11,0,1,22,174,61,2,0.0,0.10266976090048534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13326177935874567,0.0,0.05282292908688065,0.09570154750548207,0.07373541083942335,0.0,0.0909370885965837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07464397796409777,0.09085413291811978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876400406130709,0.0,0.11176816937817204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974730809765218,0.0,0.08953582225591382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168883633723541,0.0,0.26288648394141223,0.3095249809349485,0.08320057070971998,0.0,0.07919936896215103,0.0737070876331173,0.0,0.0,0.4016878481123836,0.0,0.0452726713708024,0.0,0.1477408710565058,0.07268051402119666,0.13860880944032936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555200225309033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058081750332504664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533585439725015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09586882298035453,0.0,0.09524456168385992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860867173594589,0.0,0.21167165268774665,0.0,0.0,0.07668527192947902,0.0,0.09694266052409098,0.09459210131853367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09439063558089407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916568243054942,0.09209853810363644,0.06370000328909252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813180698683123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09228272975877506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272019460880438,0.06007435300490056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08815736107972284,0.09342670420627024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07168034466971891,0.0,0.0867156857618627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570213747408993,0.0,0.0,0.2770820440605858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166952683700697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977853772387397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665714341331918,0.0,0.0,0.050528122910735496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16929498660011952,0.0,0.0,0.07484046154834176,0.0,0.0,0.10222049395834787,0.06878120211325175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032829733287251,0.0,0.0,0.09964679535266767,0.0,0.0,0.12616898629394438,0.0,0.0,0.0615558802501133,0.0,0.0,0.11160351836415787
bipolarreddit,nightrhymester,2018/02/27,"Depression Craving Mania a poem by me I try not to listen to my brain
Telling me to bring on the pain
It’s like living in constant rain
Maybe I just need a little cocaine
Anything to bring back my reign
Everything is just so plain
I question wether I’m sane
I’m stuck but not in chains
It’s more like I’m trapped in a train
Going nowhere driving me insane
It’s rather difficult to explain
Please just bring back my reign",0.6018965517241384,3.0969199080459795,1.7501436781609208,95.42797413793107,91.29885057471265,4.279310344827587,22.192528735632187,5.985473137389443,0.3114528735632187,340,13,70,3,12,107,56,87,0.156,0.725,0.119,-0.5281,0,1,1,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,4,0,1,2,1,0,0,10,12,2,0,2,7,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,2,3,0,0,1,1,9,2,10,11,1,13,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,1,5,38,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20293309198359855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792446617080623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752902805695749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664900188988313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21239862977014085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22163069505785765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015005386114074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409553427938155,0.2471607898758681,0.21775478984040456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477456576635065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18285285106025914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624027653486889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27069582030725475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762515730267364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155417161314737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16742711335777308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Legalese78,2018/02/27,"Bipolar II, weaning off of Klonopin. Hi all.  I was diagnosed with BP II disorder in August of 2013.  My doctor initially put me on a regimen of Trileptal (300mg, 2x a day).  This did nothing to help my depression, but helped me avoid instances of hypomanic.

After a very failed experiment with Zoloft in late 2016, we settled on Wellbutrin SR 150mg which, while it has helped my depression, supposedly had the tendency to increase my anxiety.  I would not have initially known, however, because I was also taking 1mg of Klonopin per day.

Fast forward to October of 2017, at which time my doctor told me that he wanted to wean me off the Klonopin because extended use can cause cognitive impairment...which I was initially unaware of.

After weaning myself down over many months to a quarter pill in the morning, and a quarter pill at night, I have found this dosage to be completely ineffective as to my anxiety.  I have a very stressful job, which does not help matters at all.  To make matters worse, my psychiatrist has effectively retired, and I have to begin seeing a new but, from what I hear, very competent psychiatrist in mid-March.

I don’t know if this is relevant, but I have also been sober for six years.

I know that every person is different, but what non-benzodiazepine based medication have you taken to assist with your anxiety?  Bear in mind that experiments with SSRIs have been a complete failure in the past. 

I am home from work today for the second day in a row, which is causing me to feel extreme guilt for a variety of reasons.

Thanks in advance for your help, and I hope that you’re all having a good day.",6.992508250825082,7.4163484653465375,7.448267326732676,71.64421617161717,64.34653465346534,10.957755775577557,36.965346534653456,10.746095033038511,4.16600198019802,1287,61,225,32,18,423,172,303,0.166,0.7659999999999999,0.068,-0.9788,3,1,0,0,0,0,43.0,1,3,0,6,2,10,0,3,16,0,25,8,0,6,3,36,40,12,0,4,7,0,1,0,0,1,8,1,1,1,14,8,0,1,7,0,0,4,3,7,0,4,10,3,30,3,49,28,4,39,0,3,1,0,14,18,0,2,19,154,44,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720247468926097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468397898729179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13113009429255834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209789687302904,0.0,0.0,0.2255405223142126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774584984744136,0.0,0.18527538997927792,0.10916692252430264,0.0,0.11237296992638618,0.12326832095492417,0.2201759376073794,0.09412284811262464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062044148058462,0.0,0.0,0.2104205169998021,0.0,0.0,0.054383468857463486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11792943670967525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09021274304152696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212232585464989,0.0,0.36046209143624425,0.0,0.10788728593911667,0.10682722639654972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673258381884636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182197633712807,0.0,0.12132768227735273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179436427538273,0.10904474915030664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083512022417587,0.0,0.0,0.10860074658705908,0.0,0.0858500523892728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387810901787167,0.0,0.10093387808902303,0.0,0.10320273774464386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267422790120638,0.0,0.09391361857129732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10812333519366822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105853259931819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08570808621064538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232048614354852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086861282567945,0.0,0.0,0.09902297501382076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0627166803909434,0.0,0.10195036851056913,0.10277422275670224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289372010771407,0.0,0.2662345183204592,0.06343922631279819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830193892840426,0.0,0.1096085987056659,0.07640458907705237,0.0,0.0,0.06926244028612566
bipolarreddit,SoftCatsMeow,2018/02/27,"I feel ashamed about the dumb stuff I said whilst hypomanic So I am in a hypomanic episode and looking back on the things I said and did, I feel so embarrassed. 
My parents are away so only my maid was there and I still managed to tell her weird secrets and proceeded to show her all my dumb drawings of my imaginary boyfriend as well as showing her all the shows (not really a show but a game that has many stories) that I watch and pointing out which guy I’m in love with. 
I have no clue why I done this! I feel deeply ashamed for doing this and revealing personal secrets. I also yelled at my grandma (she did deserve it but I should have just hanged up the call), complained about my mum and stepdad to my maid, grandpa, grandma and (biological) father. 

I also went and bought lots of random cooking stuff and makeup that doesn’t suit me, so now I have to return it. And I bought 3 bags of cereal. I am not even allowed cereal by mum. No clue why I bought it. So yeah...

P.S. For any people who are going to be like “go get a diagnosis and meds and this wont happen” : I don’t want to right now. I have nothing to gain from **just** getting diagnosed, and while I do want meds one day, I will wait until I have kids, because I don’t want to take pills when I’m pregnant, and apparently withdrawal symptoms are horrible. Also I’m scared of the side effect of gaining weight.

What’s the weirdest/most embarrassing/most regrettable thing you did when (hypo)manic? Did you apologise/explain afterwards that you had bipolar?",2.376666666666665,4.740014765100675,3.647758389261746,86.6023310961969,79.20134228187919,6.7921252796420575,26.040715883668906,7.908726449838941,1.6379338702460853,1192,48,237,21,30,388,169,298,0.149,0.799,0.052000000000000005,-0.9777,3,0,0,0,0,0,44.0,0,3,0,3,21,11,2,4,10,1,27,7,0,2,2,40,51,31,0,4,6,5,4,1,0,3,4,3,2,3,17,17,2,1,7,6,3,4,8,8,1,1,13,9,38,3,30,34,3,27,0,0,2,1,25,10,2,2,14,167,55,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3160811935193143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08959449276307803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12378342721570144,0.10130758913464376,0.0,0.08031355460767271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345314427884886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496782675558671,0.0,0.0,0.1337234391663931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348259547957573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701960802164523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19985021986305848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13766783581402026,0.0,0.14975308034465926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304531771051143,0.11650605720161515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06436637699160043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063678687397092,0.0,0.0,0.11200910714976596,0.11890948550178927,0.0,0.0,0.13357378354390662,0.0,0.0,0.2926890160593515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641764284899412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927718466889531,0.1002017837694292,0.0,0.0,0.14629274239431353,0.0,0.0,0.09133883550160786,0.1150389858898786,0.0,0.0,0.12454630042028747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440239997133962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251374856299763,0.25064877056998913,0.0,0.1319046969657092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052156906687479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016443735469829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693865775405192,0.0990595757177082,0.0,0.11515527480796785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750576423883286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23312862516704086,0.0,0.0,0.16043596133089966,0.1184590393036533,0.12213353568057515,0.2377676984879037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,macnsleaze,2018/02/27,"The Lithium struggle bus I have fluctu-weighted many times in my life, but I was by far the fattest towards the end of 2017. I've been steadily shedding pounds but a couple of weeks ago I started taking Lithium again. And while it's helped the mania, as of yesterday I've entered a new world of despair about my body:
So this past weekend I suddenly put on (at least) 10 pounds of water weight after binge eating socially and consuming hella sodium (I wish I could sue myself). I was also dehydrated because I'd been vomiting from the startup. My body quickly blew up like a balloon, my favorite sweatpants even became tight. I was uncomfortably bloated all over (I think the more fat you have, the more water you retain). Including my face-- which felt heavy & the bags under my eyes were dark as hell.
So last night I drank a LOT of water, thinking that would fix it. But it only made everything worse. I peed ~10,000 times then went to bed. This morning I woke up and was pleasantly surprised with how tiny I looked. However, then I realized that my boobs looked different. They're still heavy, but squishier and hang a little lower. And my stomach is squishier. I can barely feel fingers against my skin now. My face has more wrinkles, my neck/chin curve feels loose. I feel like I've aged years overnight.
I fluctuated a net amount of at least 20 pounds in 2 short days, quickly up then back down. And now my skin is stretched too big for my body!?? If it is this loose already, I'm terrified to keep losing weight. I know it happened so fast. Freshman + sophomore year I was so thin and beautiful and taut. :( Im a senior now, so I was already feeling shitty before this happened. Feels like I've lost myself. Who is this bitch in the mirror with the body of a postpartum mother of quintuplets....???? I've never come close to having a kid, let alone 5. Yet here I am. And I don't know if I should try to fill back out a lil or what?
Or does anyone have experience like this? I'm in despair.",2.7867741710782923,5.063829384020618,3.5842658122039563,88.04276260796878,77.32474226804123,6.153357481192533,25.6926720534968,7.222845823187471,1.244500334354974,1563,59,303,19,37,496,230,388,0.147,0.767,0.086,-0.9802,3,1,0,0,0,0,69.0,0,2,0,2,21,13,2,1,20,0,25,22,13,2,2,45,51,30,0,6,8,1,13,4,0,2,3,0,1,1,16,14,8,3,11,1,0,6,2,7,0,0,15,16,40,6,38,32,8,65,1,4,3,1,7,23,3,5,40,188,56,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702156004623135,0.0,0.0,0.10167425442979286,0.21666552027953426,0.07850631351252421,0.0,0.10636688298177442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864257167755856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15097295600378094,0.0,0.059843368349119234,0.0,0.08353522660547005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43617784532992665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08456454697924871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838055713516973,0.10862296102545364,0.0,0.06331136729282498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10256649426005726,0.0,0.0,0.08590900967561726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10045216223375417,0.0,0.0,0.08694926006955322,0.0,0.0,0.06484019393580402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08822864117152583,0.0960288526822624,0.0,0.0,0.2481878760552935,0.14026497786124995,0.09425835495887563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17362237121935914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658011140160897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10604017588573557,0.0,0.0,0.08725778432226723,0.0,0.0,0.10790305434829164,0.08002144869544235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10038522045793537,0.0693401975657582,0.19184312418609484,0.09839187949997692,0.0,0.0,0.1648757304344121,0.1098268392679431,0.10716387864087866,0.08346041076581913,0.0,0.09289059098317548,0.0,0.0995287180283746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07571456308176439,0.0948129561700352,0.0,0.09212566006260063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466251848327336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371413440067973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868771329781884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007169719612574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0694850542430929,0.0,0.07839848906644381,0.0,0.0,0.10262833751408193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07381143453481194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580642360666816,0.0,0.0,0.11448714123229918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665081613795003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07874585184695247,0.3586329248133981,0.0,0.0910043416608372,0.0,0.0,0.11289036753889595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004336200566892,0.06973697368813098,0.0,0.0,0.1264362006040811
bipolarreddit,youhadtime,2018/02/27,"Back to the psychiatrist... I sat in the parking lot outside of work today and finally made another appointment with my psychiatrist after three months of quitting medication. I'm so tired of feeling depressed and *angry* and nauseous and paranoid. I'm in a mixed episode and my method of keeping my head down and waiting it out isn't working well for me.

Music sounds strange. Voices and lights are overwhelming. Road rage spills out of me and I'm horrified but unable to stop...and when I'm not behind the wheel my feet drag, I have trouble focusing, every small task a huge ordeal. I haven't cooked in weeks -- I'm either overeating or not eating at all -- and I'm spending way too much money on delivery and drive-thru's. I'm anxious and irritable and bitter and hopeless and yet I know, logically, that I have no reason to feel this way.

I was on medication for six months before I stopped taking everything cold turkey. The lamotragine and wellbutrin had helped a lot at first when I was in a similar state last spring, but I wasn't convinced that I needed them anymore (or that my bipolar diagnosis was even accurate) and I was a couple of weeks away from losing my insurance indefinitely.

It's been a whirlwind of a winter. I went through it all:

Euphoric hypomania around the holidays. Huge spending, not sleeping or eating, hanging out with everybody, falling in love, lots of drinking and partying and being merry. I could so easily sink karaoke in front of hundreds of my coworkers at the holiday party or confess my love for my best friend or *be curiously spontaneous*. 

Followed by a crash. Depression. Self medicating. Waking up with a feeling of dread. Not wanting to leave the house, go to work, get out of bed. I quit my food industry job, stopped hanging out with friends, stopped replying to texts and calls.

Started feeling better for a week or two before *bam* here we are. Mixed episode.

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. I don't want to be on medication or accept that I have bipolar, but I'm willing to try if it gets me out of this horribly distressing mess. I don't know where to start except to post here and not be in the dark about what I've been going through these past few months (as well as the past decade). And I'm fortunate to have a wonderful psychiatrist. It helps with going back.

Words of encouragement needed.",4.217821095571097,6.552690543181818,5.115454545454547,78.4818997668998,73.11363636363636,8.240093240093241,31.282051282051288,8.986495653885253,2.9707907925407926,1869,88,328,41,39,608,234,440,0.156,0.6679999999999999,0.17600000000000002,0.9626,2,0,2,0,0,1,64.0,1,0,1,9,16,22,2,3,20,0,24,18,4,2,2,82,62,38,0,6,19,0,4,0,2,1,7,2,1,1,13,34,5,5,11,4,3,10,12,11,2,4,11,10,32,11,69,45,9,69,1,5,1,2,12,30,0,13,27,224,45,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09036322455639492,0.0,0.09735453922824283,0.08546360107632331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07671505871448181,0.0,0.0,0.08096534530060401,0.13252830561178236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14665914126556512,0.0,0.09043657023766764,0.07621581635777856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799550120855577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06880465684047013,0.0953522892860197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14844681209709235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441983569414829,0.0,0.17635946474474426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05691854531639605,0.0,0.07260713713855071,0.0,0.07744958190127395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17429303662132106,0.0,0.0,0.09440177829216033,0.0,0.07330140331759814,0.10420456276315528,0.0,0.1331589851477383,0.0,0.09004698055455956,0.0,0.1469277042895987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844160879337126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552413596116748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943572606451256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08551654818573327,0.07659733646189462,0.0,0.0,0.0947203349635482,0.07024507758821093,0.0,0.09124811761151166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07236627595219898,0.0964090874561239,0.0,0.2197916855555314,0.1555547098626191,0.08154197252366874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34725368677351826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20635498212117567,0.0,0.0633493980343912,0.12779707125293244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16452980418143087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825329463447662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18331792170314706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860345192225272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990053612510096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623840203308232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12199186858273173,0.0,0.0,0.28818853608453393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06479375255412395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09904682652203042,0.08168492965639126,0.0,0.0,0.05850796039380553,0.0,0.0841815929167645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016578716589845,0.13680525981079167,0.2073759684278493,0.0,0.15496544629492245,0.07988616983378431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345437668775602,0.1882118269929353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ibetudiphedipshedip,2018/02/27,Talk Space Have any of you tried it?,-0.9450000000000004,1.0802645000000022,-0.6699999999999982,114.115,91.5,3.2,8.0,3.1291,-2.8074000000000003,28,0,8,0,1,8,8,8,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5428246422356966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6415880655953299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5419466411625139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,frigoffran,2018/02/27,"Experiences with Lithium? My doctor prescribed me lithium 300mg ER twice a day. I have been extremely reluctant to start the medicine because of the dumbest reason ever, the notorious weight gain. 
I take care of myself pretty well with the exception of a few beers every other weekend or so (definitely nowhere near drunk). I go to the gym 4-5 days a week and eat relatively healthy. I just recently lost a few pounds, and am still trying to lose more (personal preference, I'm a healthy weight). I drink probably around 10 glasses of water a day. Does anyone have experience with weight gain on the med? I read online that part of it can be attributed to an increase in sugary drinks to accommodate the extreme thirst, but I only drink water with a cup or two of coffee/tea in the mix. 
I'm pretty nervous, I know that the good outweighs the bad 10 fold, but weight gain is not something that I would take well.",6.876763005780347,7.027979942196537,7.1859017341040445,74.35642485549134,64.60693641618496,10.15699421965318,34.641040462427746,9.888512548439397,3.3564617341040464,722,30,131,14,10,235,113,173,0.092,0.735,0.173,0.9276,0,0,5,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,5,7,8,0,1,18,0,8,14,1,2,1,20,17,7,0,2,7,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,7,13,0,3,8,0,2,1,4,3,2,2,4,12,4,21,13,5,16,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,2,9,83,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163932630029272,0.0,0.0,0.1039386330891944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09748735796600738,0.07117408564632208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904171378906794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258961419984108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950590842682104,0.10217498414814892,0.0,0.0,0.3431327228851262,0.0,0.11947173087707195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561354253586393,0.09837294936823172,0.0,0.0,0.22842182764352975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635578899674968,0.09793037264660408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06416668582959273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306214051775793,0.1274542407452942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12969089214459856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879908721208897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643663456917126,0.0,0.0,0.10194785518321507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375680287445591,0.12588397428498893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11678876371197625,0.0,0.0,0.12004581413485407,0.11528361728005572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988537183007006,0.0,0.0,0.08264132414782459,0.0,0.09324242483819747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17557371879906622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927045263436512,0.0,0.1140547872302911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936555571362666,0.5687151021167512,0.2099574312247856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294094191085744,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,alittlebitblue39,2018/02/28,"The young and the manic Does anybody else feel like going manic has ruined their life? And more important, if you have felt that, how have you continued onward when it feels like it has?",4.319904761904763,6.526513371428571,4.131428571428572,86.22190476190477,72.42857142857143,6.9523809523809526,20.238095238095237,7.793537801064563,0.7705238095238096,148,3,27,2,3,45,27,35,0.075,0.746,0.179,0.5192,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,2,1,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,1,0,7,8,5,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,3,3,2,0,7,1,4,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,5,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3255392032557565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3107577852613857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3761881727369507,0.5315129264095961,0.35717778483738744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21141584568379232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2627541948671809,0.3634802568057175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pumpkincat,2018/02/28,"Trump and general rhetoric around the mentally ill is turning me into a paranoid... well... crazy person People talking aboit bring back the age of involuntary long term commitment and how dangerous we all are is driving me nuts.  I know that it's unlikely  Republicans would ever get around to actually doing anything because it would require a shit ton of money to bring back asylums, but it's just making the stigma so much worse.  I'm in training to become a teacher and I'm terrified of the day they decide people with bipolar disorder aren't safe around kids.  Anyone else feeling the stigma especially bad right now?  What are  you doing to try to stay calm and carry on?",8.014400921658991,8.229585370967744,8.162119815668202,68.09532258064519,62.225806451612904,10.634101382488481,37.06912442396313,10.290406445055957,4.045780184331797,542,24,86,11,7,177,91,124,0.227,0.727,0.046,-0.9785,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,1,1,1,11,6,2,0,8,0,9,3,1,2,3,25,18,7,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,5,10,0,2,3,0,1,3,1,3,1,0,0,1,6,3,15,16,4,19,0,0,0,0,6,7,1,0,8,59,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.1684149645613728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067322375623232,0.17683047300742946,0.14202013586058518,0.4609032373033307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26540953894564306,0.14409861392001402,0.10520427779195272,0.19060306505015606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11130099885429894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977937215808955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14416996836346652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15611013990046818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872625554925005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901668797548868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09484645682068228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15272948301202888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519970734212533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17392188646433954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686749783132364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239293012748476,0.1506917915361089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14738393434406258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17715276181074818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18394926116628288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871473248942726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11717172962474898,0.18771946590858365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15517178561884742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17587562227920928,0.2451943516767036,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rxrunning,2018/02/28,"My new psychiatrist doesn't agree with my current diagnosis Starting in 2009 (age 17), I had increasingly awful depression, reaching a peak in late 2014 (age 22), when I checked myself into hospital for 5 days outpatient then 7 days inpatient. After this, my meds were switched from Paxil and Abilify to Effexor XR. In early 2017 (age 24), after gradually increasing the Effexor, I was bumped to 225mg a day. This sent me into a hypo manic episode for a week until I dropped it back to 150mg. My body couldn't keep up with my mind, I had no filter, and I did things without thinking.

This lead to my psych to change my diagnosis from Major Depressive Disorder to Bipolar Disorder Type 2, rapid cycling, as we believed that this wouldn't have happened if I didn't have bipolar, paired with how I had described my depressive episodes as wave-like/ebbing and growing for years. I added on lithium 300mg 2xday at this time.

Now I'm in a new state and have a new psych (age 25). I went to her last week for Rx refills and because I had the worst short-term depression in years. I couldn't work or even get out of bed for 5 days.
She says the the Effexor Lithium combo seems to have helped with some issues (anxiety, bulimia, self-harm), but isn't doing enough for the depression. She upped my Lithium to 300mg 3xday and is seeing me March 13th. Her main issue is that I don't have any issues with sleep during my ""up"" periods. I sleep normally. When I'm depressed, I sleep a lot more and have trouble getting up in the morning.

What my issue is: If I don't have bipolar, what are the other possible disorders I could have? What runs similarly to bipolar but isn't? Is there such thing as cyclical depression? If I don't have bipolar, what the hell was that episode in early 2017? 
(I asked my new psych something like this when I saw her, but she didn't have an answer for me, just shrugged it off...)

**I'm not asking that you diagnose me, just what is similar to bipolar**

Edit: added info",5.194278350515461,5.842511603092787,5.973109278350518,79.88116907216495,68.2783505154639,9.30078350515464,32.01484536082474,9.3871,2.810253278350516,1554,64,302,30,25,510,198,388,0.123,0.861,0.016,-0.9903,1,0,1,0,0,0,66.0,1,1,0,2,11,11,1,0,16,1,37,12,4,2,0,42,53,23,0,8,11,0,0,1,0,1,8,1,1,0,20,16,0,1,4,0,1,7,14,10,0,0,13,3,45,1,50,36,9,60,1,7,2,0,13,17,1,7,35,202,65,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05895506836241001,0.0,0.06632087013321061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16209485686728625,0.0,0.0,0.0666625331409341,0.0,0.0528480150542774,0.0,0.0,0.09767474117764599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096297776897603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171102979281978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921831069529136,0.0,0.0,0.2236424976801858,0.0,0.5226874621074198,0.08799284704427894,0.0,0.0,0.29807739176975623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08957834342535255,0.0,0.05726073982418255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905883433391712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07666344610175235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05810933374978905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36194512621129415,0.0,0.07705783993580867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706673912579666,0.0977948992424083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470887079667172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370435799764104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096297776897603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753648689878768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349194186920002,0.0,0.0,0.08494196597764787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773474992564812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894275367236195,0.0,0.0,0.0690840993407345,0.07892319654101973,0.09044101848525378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26027060288804216,0.0,0.0,0.06674147536281465,0.0,0.0,0.0613626420769529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519162569129852,0.055550180012451225,0.0,0.0,0.05055211905911024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13908180901822156,0.0,0.0,0.0803664457862575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357017109053914,0.0,0.06311445240075994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1116565196321951
bipolarreddit,bipolarbearlady,2018/02/28,"Hypomania and Hypersexuality Bit of a controversial confession so ask me anything... 

Im female in my 30's, married, with children.
Home and business owner.
I have been with my husband a good decade long and have been married a couple of years.

I struggle with bipolar affective disorder type 2 with ultra rapid cycling.
I get depressive low periods. I also get hypomanic, and when I do, I get extreme hypersexual symptoms that I act on, as I haven't found a means to curb the extreme intensity of it yet.

I've had a few extra curricular affairs.
But I have also been having an affair with my ex boyfriend that has lasted years.
Due to my condition I am a bit of a flake. 
When I'm hypomanic I feel like can't breathe without him, the inner most part of my soul
Craves him. But when I'm depressive I don't want a bar of him.

My husband has no idea about who I really am or what I'm really like.

Anyone else been in a similar situation? 
I live in 2 different worlds.

And yes I am medicated. 
Lamotrigine 
Sertraline 
Quetiapine


",2.9308622057656706,5.248247698492462,5.6907167416027535,72.91777836551177,77.04020100502512,9.0135942872256,30.07167416027506,9.549672527348893,3.31976783919598,808,39,148,24,19,290,117,199,0.097,0.8440000000000001,0.059,-0.6023,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,8,7,0,1,12,1,18,5,1,1,0,23,29,15,0,1,4,3,1,2,0,0,3,0,1,1,5,10,1,1,5,1,0,1,5,4,0,0,6,1,25,3,20,23,6,18,2,3,0,0,13,7,0,2,12,100,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502233789450355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10939232436315706,0.1602998234272346,0.12874366230195616,0.0,0.14625808886053626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3416021582324374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17310712427267294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26949747029661675,0.0,0.0,0.16345522807031196,0.17930336386704696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306925219342862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910498682356285,0.11176673294719604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17153754133410304,0.0,0.0,0.2452134181038884,0.0,0.0,0.13122145386351314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15693045169685846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17661114489826088,0.16899106534802238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12752628664353252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528655232090303,0.0,0.13814675986956473,0.13845186716167654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1704181182374918,0.0,0.15760525405461018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169418317947672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20044963900019366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17585450103275174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635537846531818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626097393041649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922772906363109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15081062713121876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014952168851896
bipolarreddit,jessamine_francessca,2018/02/28,"I don’t know how to help my bipolar son. My son suffers from bipolar among other things. I have it too, but mine is much more mild, I think mine is the Cyclothymic one, however, his is Bipolar I. 
This week he has had a manic episode, and somehow he is convinced that he needs to fly across the world to “save” his friend from Terrorists. In reality, his friend is on vacation and just has very bad signal so can’t be in touch. He is 16, but stole my credit card to buy tickets, got his passport and is planning on leaving.
 When I tried to talk to him, he was convinced that I’m with the “terrorists” that kidnapped his friend. His friend is an adult lady who was his caretaker for a while. I have no clue what to do. He won’t speak to me anymore because I’m evil. He won’t take meds either because he thinks they are poison. He has dropped out of school two years ago and stays at home. I don’t want him to have a record so I don’t want to get the police involved. He doesn’t have a doctor (he got a diagnosis from one but haven’t seen her since). Apparently doctors are evil too. I have no idea what to do.",2.529236714975845,3.8180704260869582,3.5533333333333346,92.34555555555558,75.17391304347827,6.502415458937199,24.951690821256037,6.937597516519254,0.7410531400966187,858,28,195,8,18,276,127,230,0.155,0.706,0.139,-0.8534,2,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,1,1,8,13,3,0,10,0,32,6,0,1,0,21,45,12,0,3,5,2,1,0,4,2,6,1,1,1,10,6,0,0,4,1,2,0,10,5,0,3,6,3,26,8,25,36,3,16,0,1,1,0,34,9,0,1,5,127,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14099878838801638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15774667621665506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281005310855115,0.19392533128114145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256132154178592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4915633568185311,0.0,0.08310328436279035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25443268438399097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1066158472213251,0.0,0.15955206758326695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795615383889803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08741626740771287,0.0,0.0,0.1684235988533615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17668192710100314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11692880775438795,0.11794239282270368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21556893724025464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16097914759242984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315776579102471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16953883510866738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195947628732563,0.12784794029375846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10567366697715866,0.20384090207697853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10799259764512104,0.0,0.1553803761367833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124273631289576,0.1876376745597576,0.0,0.12758987192488722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243065674810127
bipolarreddit,EstroJen,2018/02/28,"Does anyone have a good recommendation for a mood tracking app/website? My new psychiatrist and I are working on tapering some of my medications down from years with other doctors. I've been weaned off one with good results, and he suggested a slight decrease in my lithium. I'm all for the change, but I really want to go a mood tracking app/website between now and my next appointment in a few months so I know for sure I'm making the right choice.

I'd like to find one where I can write a brief synopsis of my day (stressors, good things, what happened), combine it with period tracking, and maybe a rating of my day, like 4 out of 5 stars kind of thing. And hopefully be able to see a graph over time.

This may be asking a lot, but I only see print out stuff or simple day ratings. Thank you in advance.",5.233374999999999,5.648900587499997,5.9162500000000025,81.14375000000003,68.125,8.9,31.0,8.841846274778883,2.3595125,634,24,127,10,10,207,106,160,0.0,0.831,0.16899999999999998,0.9758,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,0,2,3,11,0,0,11,0,7,2,0,2,2,25,19,9,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,7,10,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,1,2,12,9,25,15,4,24,0,0,2,0,5,11,0,5,12,79,19,2,0.15998265648892904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111863593199101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14956218774599234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16924043762205582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095267352012185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637490279620178,0.14000190079755892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14622124970068562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09092183048442394,0.4025575858115628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414721347823232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15889887580274015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16659731793875354,0.08792228409839711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15631888984874653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360115335129519,0.0,0.0,0.10678966549204706,0.0,0.16072408157367876,0.0,0.0,0.1611656953835026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769663008588966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545122465520401,0.1701433701396427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168167768411824,0.12167401935443208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248898633685266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662431451116133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25497092839463154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18314186616460573,0.0,0.0,0.150781760423846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14729053574723475,0.0,0.0,0.2125707364363028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328717354513784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943619158048722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11646927930818304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302358554144067
bipolarreddit,greygrave,2018/02/28,"Bipolar II; I just went through my third extreme manic phase ever Some background: I was in and out of the ER in January, four times within two weeks, because of some undiagnosed pain I had mistaken for a ruptured appendix. I don’t know if it was all the pain meds or weird sleep schedule or what, but right after the last visit I was thrust into a manic phase (I guess just a really major, extended hypomania technically) for the third time in my life. When I was young, my bipolar II was misdiagnosed as depression because the hypomanic phases were not so pronounced, and I was on Vyvanse for ADHD the same time as my antidepressants. It was about 3 weeks of minimal sleep, maximum spending, obnoxious/incoherent rants on social media, questionable fashion choices, etc. This morning I woke up and immediately could tell I’m crashing. This is the hardest my depression has hit me in a really long time, thanks to the contrast of the hypomania. I guess I just wanted to vent. I don’t have a therapist anymore and my mom doesn’t understand the depth of what manic phases are. She thinks it’s just not being tired and talking faster than usual.",8.49046740994854,7.986195448113213,8.847118353344769,65.95997427101203,61.5,12.048713550600345,38.6123499142367,11.389717465364855,4.595088679245283,913,41,153,23,11,304,130,212,0.111,0.8540000000000001,0.035,-0.9312,1,0,0,0,1,0,25.0,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,15,0,18,9,3,0,2,30,29,13,0,3,10,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,7,7,0,0,4,0,1,2,5,5,1,4,11,0,20,1,26,15,6,29,0,2,0,0,7,12,0,8,15,113,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16945580694464935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13983510851528236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17190580742453326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11257782885899688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428879173931208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15725339212005018,0.0,0.1275434811682134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31065700643751115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774904646622777,0.11493463794533668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09959317948129633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247814520747685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15662032976799714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16513867250544625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000700205209076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15795339480685844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806577082351601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041408755699134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822056677839068,0.14373276756819275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11333126651669832,0.12324109293729688,0.1298147810017725,0.0,0.1637130340532499,0.0,0.0903477504104072,0.0,0.0,0.3288752788520906,0.1620599127625517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13773749329837515,0.1467870185109506,0.0,0.0,0.1552926861530398,0.0,0.08316604575421373,0.0,0.2262050017657849,0.0,0.0,0.13070934394165462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,VagabondTrampster,2018/03/01,"Has anyone here had any experience with legally taking time off high school? Hello everyone! I'm a high school student who was a month ago diagnosed with Bipolar II. I'd been having depressive episodes for about a year, and a month and a half ago started experiencing manic episodes as well, which was the reason why I decided to see a doctor. I'm still very early in my treatment, don't yet have a psychiatrist and won't for another month or two (thanks, American health insurance) and I've been having a really hard time coping. I've always been a very high achieving student, getting straight A's every semester, and doing my best not to miss school. This year, however, has been different. Due to my Bipolar Disorder, I've now missed a month of school, have had to drop 3 classes, and I really don't know what to do at this point. My mental health takes top priority, so I am certainly not planning on sacrificing my health and safety for school. I'm feeling really hopeless and lost, and balancing school, work, and my illness just isn't possible anymore. I plan on going to college next year, but I'm afraid that my absences and now failing grades are going to affect my ability to get scholarships. I really just need to take this year off without ""dropping-out"", so I can get the help I need. I was wondering if anyone here has any advice or similar experiences. I live in New York in case that matters. Sorry for the wall of text.",6.27674323744096,6.891480427007303,7.017780163160154,73.45588020609706,65.8978102189781,10.534650064405325,33.635895234006014,10.46071229359064,3.6347610991842,1143,48,204,28,17,379,154,274,0.076,0.838,0.086,0.1352,2,0,0,0,0,1,37.0,0,0,0,8,12,11,0,1,14,0,25,8,0,2,1,32,48,18,0,3,9,0,2,0,0,1,8,0,0,0,8,13,0,0,5,0,1,2,7,7,1,2,10,4,17,4,28,37,1,39,0,6,1,0,3,15,0,4,21,123,25,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08341784830649818,0.15134213091026136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103065322696922,0.0,0.0,0.11610247488354067,0.08951281546043675,0.0,0.0,0.08465930237975249,0.11937861218901423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958547088486209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352488892560656,0.08664384248601359,0.0,0.08918842521936836,0.0978358713185869,0.08737486051700898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192383073644718,0.08157007051446204,0.0,0.16700701741131968,0.0,0.0,0.04316319083264542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379932145049936,0.0,0.0970299775870472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764704177064631,0.0,0.0,0.2722175259858129,0.0,0.0,0.057218468654052564,0.2705789415098978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0469144605317364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537900198961313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09318615835835957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602800517432868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27255063144154285,0.0,0.0,0.12659437189858966,0.0,0.08244620538318978,0.0907868182111798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069767052882612,0.09623639377990052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187484346542632,0.08776960406193261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5183646081066559,0.06802498183238283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09555930988659986,0.06042190102072409,0.0,0.06817272862700346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19255193394786999,0.0,0.0,0.07859277197892918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955422487665788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338935921018638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14087039759112802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675353256282147,0.0,0.0770287809843635,0.0,0.0,0.08228896988472496,0.09257487673207694,0.062146854614792135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198894620304798
bipolarreddit,Qthechrisman,2018/03/01,"Exhausted I just found this Subreddit and honestly it’s good to see similar people as me, anyway, does anyone else feel really tired for anticipating the next low or high, like, I just want a break, but I’m always just waiting for the next time it changes",3.0789795918367338,5.659465469387758,4.607510204081635,79.48391836734696,77.9795918367347,8.817959183673471,24.08571428571429,9.3871,2.449886530612245,204,7,38,6,5,68,41,49,0.11,0.7509999999999999,0.139,0.1163,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,10,6,4,0,1,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,3,3,4,5,0,6,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,4,20,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2055340369427459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727167565911847,0.2530933111228073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26130628057090793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21616214472314574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20634709638562732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12489685024880726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708362578940773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071822135458617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609820766747924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206777418661854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5254008065646273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712472400685129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15824241650197318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196836837249556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403486948249278,0.283904323420993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14569426546615666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Rhys345,2018/03/01,"Here we go again; My therapist said I was hypomanic yesterday I don't know why she says this, as I've been feeling stable as ever lately. I am having some sleep troubles, yes, but I'm not feeling sped up or anything. I suppose I have been engaging in some reckless spending and ""grandiose goal-directed behavior"" but that's about it. 

I mean, it's possible, but I'm not getting the buzzing I usually do when I'm hypo. Is it possible to be hypomanic and not be aware of it? I usually am which is the strange thing. ",4.355589459084605,5.194040592233009,6.187406380027743,76.90970873786408,70.2621359223301,10.15755894590846,36.0735090152566,10.290406445055957,3.913966435506242,403,22,79,11,7,140,69,103,0.08,0.82,0.099,-0.0516,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,2,1,13,1,1,0,1,17,23,9,0,0,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,8,3,0,0,4,0,1,1,4,1,0,0,4,4,11,1,7,17,2,11,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,3,8,56,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797755783408342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976113493724943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22092186134173689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141373570508035,0.0,0.12415696592954882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006097955895068,0.0,0.2464346056266058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379691179985661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4925660692024639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078073505821631,0.1737297184584977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21861972991702386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536511727044701,0.14513641850766773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4812099681975667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19712793868658948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BipolarExpress150,2018/03/01,"BiPolar ExPress Hey guys and gals, I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar. So I decided to make a YouTube channel dedicated to helping End the Stigma on Mental health. I'm new here and just wanted to say I have some  videos about my life with Bipolar along with some informative mental health ones too. I'm hoping these videos reach people that really need it. There's a lot more to come in the future. Thanks! check it out : https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCOxg3VI4OIV6cwGLAZcnDBg",7.149788359788362,10.09784577777778,5.675943562610228,74.97888888888889,66.53086419753086,8.085361552028218,27.62081128747796,8.841846274778883,2.350977425044091,392,13,61,7,7,115,61,81,0.0,0.847,0.153,0.8832,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,0,2,7,0,1,0,18,10,3,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,4,8,0,0,2,3,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,4,2,12,9,4,8,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,4,4,38,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886160372497768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22224142318350404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939349935871327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168064171799771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4654919007494803,0.0,0.0,0.14676535044149358,0.0,0.0,0.21747828261651606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546590593121643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861533291220768,0.0,0.0,0.14615857371598925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.441323601424231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623572580031059,0.0,0.2114744856034904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483740524646796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15180040926514576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402724130239688,0.0,0.21619817233932992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17412705928955005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20159043038001648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12914922959633673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sparklerose01,2018/03/01,Anxiety! I have a psychiatry appointment in the morning with my new doctor. I haven't been on meds in a few months and I have never met the guy before. I'm so nervous that my stomach is in knots and I can't sleep. I've had three panic attacks today and its not getting any better. ,0.426828087167074,2.7133673728813577,3.0971428571428596,87.86983050847458,87.13559322033899,5.405326876513318,21.987893462469735,6.868970318607317,0.7827317191283292,221,8,45,3,7,77,44,59,0.233,0.767,0.0,-0.907,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,2,4,0,7,3,2,0,1,6,10,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,3,0,6,1,5,7,1,8,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,4,32,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18989544864708136,0.0,0.2136208427610077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3176802842823342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376160178493348,0.0,0.0,0.2469685643021517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858179957834088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458934284906709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27649539419036256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31017705611459223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22288984144632706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2153701342986843,0.2696955284750737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32763258636346265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794455974576518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646905952914101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwaway738382829,2018/03/01,"[Vent] It took me an hour and a half to get through 4 pages front/back I’m super frustrated and angry and depressed.  No distractions besides my picking compulsion.  An hour and a half and I have four more.  And a 4 point quiz which for all of these are 20% of my grade and I’ve already bullshitted a decent amount on them and I need a 2.75GPA for my graduates program and I’m at a 2.5 with an F in Bio, two Cs, a B- which is easy to bring up and an A.  My two good grades are artsy classes (art/piano).  I have to retake bio if I fail it and can’t at least get it to a C, so theres a bunch of money burnt that I don’t have.  It’ll take me two years to get licensed *after* graduates school.  So fuck me.

How am I supposed to study for a midterm, two exams, try to do fantastic in bio, read for my classes, do two papers (one with a presentation), practice for piano, eat, and shower.  When it takes me an hour and a half just for four stupid points that add up that I’ve already burned a good bit because this takes too long.

And because I need to try to get this done so I can have time for my other classes, fuck if I get tired of reading or frustrated because then I still have to come back and do it and I have even less time.  So then I either angry walk for over an hour or I become a mess trying to get it done anyways.

And I can’t take the easy way out and rip up my fucking arm because it’ll upset my boyfriend.

God damn.

Fuck college.

I wanted to take my meds (seroquel) earlier so I’d sleep enough so I’m not half awake for class, but then I’m still leaving more work that’s just going to pile up.

And then I’m supposed to be somehow working so I can eat more than two pizza slices a day.  And don’t forget that stupid internship I need to have for a year so I don’t have my loans dropped on me before I’m all the way done because theres no fucking way I’m going to be able to pay $400+ a month.

I’d of been better off at a dead end job.  At least I could have afforded a small apartment with $9/hr in the city near my hometown.

At least spring break is almost here so I can go back to a even more stressful environment.",0.7652740923583252,2.3423706868250527,2.6755924097500774,95.51451583873293,80.792656587473,5.532633960711715,21.390980150159415,6.307378622147532,0.08049196749974241,1640,48,393,13,42,548,208,463,0.126,0.833,0.041,-0.9862,3,0,0,0,0,0,53.0,0,0,1,5,25,20,10,3,30,0,34,11,2,2,2,47,67,40,1,7,9,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,0,19,26,3,0,0,2,3,7,8,16,0,13,5,0,37,4,57,57,16,58,0,2,0,5,1,22,6,6,24,258,56,22,0.07301753829964859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07311651724554329,0.0,0.16115333841954685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1684379395463146,0.0,0.22255406811588924,0.08064213435532841,0.06213254709718775,0.0,0.0,0.06457807891872824,0.07971624044659917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289814383045511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05829856284110267,0.0,0.0,0.04709027161304443,0.0,0.06288989874384036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241668784850782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14943034105792152,0.0,0.0,0.06467186617990671,0.07544663588185553,0.0,0.0964547908042264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33751768784544073,0.22889190044286856,0.0,0.12449264911656223,0.12248729366421016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876302678485146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245863997141172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731503015909369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06461822366725782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110602442520018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05828190244282976,0.0,0.0,0.1624247383419633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04947857366058599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805035009455605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460745957650039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389764697956698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307027069256107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662380081339745,0.0,0.0836413434217373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745005082828665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08515422754802722,0.08392291896164235,0.0,0.0,0.0811251717145682,0.14872234652510088,0.0,0.427965150332861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04306763590831655,0.17387376964683202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063152750336563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940418013818871
bipolarreddit,A_Hobo_In_Training,2018/03/01,"Where and What next? Hi. I've had ongoing mental health problems for the past 20 years. For the bulk of it, it was assumed to be depression. I went from Effexor to something else and then to Citalopram. 

Recently...well over the past 8 years really, my behavior and moods have deteriorated. It destroyed two jobs and one long term relationship. I had a full psychotic breakdown complete with hallucinations over the weekend. That was my personal breaking point, where I was able to finally admit it could be more than depression. I went to the doctor that day rather than wait til monday like I planned. I am now on anti-psychotics and am waiting to hear back from a specialist, but based on everything he's heard, I most definitely have bipolar.

My lover is no longer my lover. We had been together for many years. She says she still wants to be friends with me, but I do not believe she will be able to do so as I worry she won't ever be able to see past my behaviors while being improperly treated. I did not cheat on her, but I was verbally abusive, absurdly egotistical and prone to addiction and believing positively bonkers things. Now we're trying to move to separate places. I still love her, but I have to let go as I do not think she will ever feel positively towards me due to my actions or the fear that I might relapse while taking this new medication.

My questions are as follows:

* Work and Affording an apartment. How the heck do I do it? I'm working as a moving helper in Canada. That isn't exactly steady work here, but I hadn't been able to concentrate well enough for better previously. Can I apply for disability or some form of assistance while I adjust to the meds and new diagnosis, at least until I'm stable enough to work regularly to earn my rent/bill money?

* Relationships. My family that I had previously abandoned have actually been quite supportive after coming to terms with what I am personally. My wife (common law), is no longer my wife. I do not think she will ever forgive me for the hurt I caused, and I do not believe I may expect her to. How do I move on? Right now I'm trying hard to find answers and to stay busy as I can. I no longer drink (been sober for 5 months now), smoke or game online (gambling on those stupid chance boxes in mobile games, more addictive than you might suspect.). ",5.250209241499562,6.500367531531532,6.10121185701831,76.83001307759373,68.50450450450451,9.60290613193839,30.538796861377506,9.857291076455118,2.956086835222319,1840,72,345,43,31,606,238,444,0.102,0.769,0.129,0.9441,3,0,3,0,0,0,59.0,1,1,0,8,18,21,3,1,13,0,50,10,0,3,4,61,71,33,0,5,14,2,2,1,3,7,6,3,0,2,15,16,1,3,11,4,2,9,11,9,1,2,17,6,53,11,58,39,11,65,0,4,1,3,32,18,1,10,37,249,68,7,0.3278243499635827,0.09710456211810968,0.0799773190833637,0.17868846507588176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06301917243312667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27700933642688336,0.0,0.07248349929489102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841914776964596,0.0,0.07059791248547923,0.08592939845438803,0.0,0.0,0.06543526703394607,0.0,0.0,0.05285489637367415,0.0,0.14117731612895407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388552832370892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802857647327044,0.0,0.0,0.06846379472319157,0.0,0.0,0.1693650932424507,0.0,0.0,0.22240191963022052,0.0,0.0,0.07365684687778916,0.0,0.07726090538141764,0.09222338357586787,0.04143946034029648,0.0,0.0,0.08977888786436793,0.07490637920696595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06331906989460089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0465775331998534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07341655657570546,0.0,0.0,0.08711548856339384,0.09237046698924836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773568671512287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132877080295801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380565215425248,0.0,0.04003960458616996,0.0,0.0,0.07252855842177212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396856873982292,0.0,0.0,0.08309060919918801,0.0,0.0,0.09103473752500384,0.08256213592937445,0.08259245991332384,0.17388491482945634,0.0,0.0,0.06541656712854957,0.26131905253797216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583073999988261,0.08716122881810855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05553556592404632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23470907710397115,0.0,0.14312178880678045,0.0856266679639494,0.0,0.07747499322743302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0784209073174051,0.0,0.0,0.09180957452155636,0.08717038722078074,0.0,0.0,0.05250316825222594,0.0,0.0,0.1759803335113859,0.0,0.06999005091677073,0.0,0.06517477024924642,0.0,0.0,0.06530839083982637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309380016265545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735428466087188,0.13090047467444665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300279686109154,0.0,0.0,0.06162077823221879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05444798284926385,0.10502830324478836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128560733488993,0.0,0.0800591887933292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04833982381113796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07368836518474227,0.15194822837393068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23866003114265236,0.08323038509016208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15833109992477926
bipolarreddit,Giorgio23,2018/03/02,"Lost alot of $ going crazy I lost alot of $ on the stock market last 2 months. about 260 k worth. I feel like complete shit. I have been sleeping in until noon and staying up until 9 so sleeping 15-16 hours at a time. I have no energy. eating one meal. soups and frozen pizzas . ill drag myself out to grocery store tomorrow or next day i guess. havent shaved or showered in days.

how do i get out of this i just want it all to end. ",-0.6509057971014514,1.4946668804347851,1.380434782608699,98.82072463768117,92.15217391304348,3.936231884057971,15.27536231884058,5.46131890053228,-0.9224811594202896,331,7,77,2,12,109,72,92,0.192,0.723,0.085,-0.8658,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,4,4,1,0,4,0,5,7,3,1,1,14,12,8,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,4,3,0,1,0,2,1,2,3,0,1,3,1,8,1,15,9,3,21,0,2,0,0,0,7,1,5,13,44,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21900328124985555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694164266051516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137330447201232,0.0,0.0,0.18500278816878293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561435260791988,0.14922158029870625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109129472294757,0.0,0.11870946133419692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.230101271153884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20570150769146167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702624163807691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10204662131985637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4560272582810838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16672341604786609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221427759565617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14154028053495266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21440896551505603,0.0,0.0,0.4180551639801469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22263480620220652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12179770316909963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12320090935232772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kik254,2018/03/02,"Bad decisions. 32 M. BP1. I am in this viscous cycle of being depressed and wanting to alleviate those feelings. The easiest way is through deviant sexual stuff. I’m happily married with a great family but it’s like I have to escape from the current situation of feeling horrible. Chatting w people online or attempting to chat w people is about the only thing that feels good. 

Then, when I’m manic, I can’t get enough and start doing the same stuff online. 

Then I feel super shitty about it a couple days/hours later and delete everything and stay away from it for a while. Only to be brought right back to the same place. 

Anyone else suffer from this sick circle?",3.3028205128205137,5.972577682539686,4.578888888888892,79.49730769230773,77.73015873015873,7.051526251526253,24.77167277167277,8.139509932561175,1.9272998778998789,532,19,89,10,13,175,92,126,0.161,0.679,0.159,-0.5023,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,4,7,0,0,8,0,8,1,0,0,0,15,18,10,0,1,2,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,10,5,0,0,5,2,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,4,4,4,17,15,3,15,0,2,0,0,2,4,0,1,9,61,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12313036654348115,0.180431087193338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16544792007388615,0.13540689805606346,0.14703274345451092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948467937496435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15167116382865414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14710555081395102,0.0,0.0,0.1819541659268214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15826366439349054,0.0,0.16600756777316075,0.0,0.3561575669849469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200285372941162,0.0,0.0,0.14770090869396146,0.0,0.19414638111321894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17341901620252062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603157494900181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678577752328135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441654863761112,0.0,0.18398276353404086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15038495942615884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979391999990848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464160344159768,0.18769482779842603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4031754115062039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169903091135018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038659401912757,0.13977675020608005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,KnitNotPurl,2018/03/02,"First depressive episode since diagnosis So I’m having my first depressive episode since I was diagnosed as bipolar. I was going through the feeling of “why does this keep happening? what’s wrong with me right now?” when it finally clicked on how long bipolar disorder had been impacting me. This kind of event wasn’t new, I just have a name for it now. 

There still needs to be reflection to figure out what triggered this but recognizing what’s going on feels so good (even though I feel so bad right now). ",4.636552631578947,6.836261957894743,4.5675657894736865,83.46608552631581,71.52631578947368,8.960526315789474,30.822368421052627,9.516144504307137,2.954394736842106,406,18,77,10,8,125,68,95,0.142,0.794,0.064,-0.774,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,13,6,0,0,2,0,8,3,0,2,0,14,17,8,0,1,2,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,8,2,0,1,5,0,0,2,1,4,0,2,5,4,7,2,11,11,0,18,0,2,1,0,1,5,0,0,11,52,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529782536298648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31560847228148203,0.18596104774314368,0.0,0.0,0.20998215932314748,0.0,0.16033412911952255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101287240875633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27791953683742826,0.0,0.0,0.20070488955975008,0.0,0.3116879856203938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082524940822396,0.1536734372268365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16201788258434133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628513809091272,0.0,0.1907919516320167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16214097383297033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13585282785933175,0.0,0.17695178671212905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129320439066602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031174199947875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14631705703764258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18000943290701804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1653245332528007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20031864997757806,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PompousJalapeno,2018/03/02,"Mania w/o meds For the past week and a half I haven’t been able to relax, every time I try my mind races I become tense and I NEED to leave. I need to go out party, meet new people, see something new! I’m going to go on a bender. 
It starts with beer at a friends on a Friday night. Then a night out at the bar. Then I’m begging people to drink with me on a Tuesday, because Monday wasn’t enough. I need more. So I disappear. 
No replying. No trace. The only think I’m using my phone for is to call people I shouldn’t and ask for things I shouldn’t have. 
And then.. I’m driving down the highway, it’s beautiful and sunny . But I haven’t blinked in so long. My jaw hurts. There’s mysterious bruises on me. I don’t know where I’m going but there’s no way I’m going back. Because he doesn’t love me, no one does, I’m a piece of shit and they know it. My dad knew it, same with my mom.
My friend hands me a pill and it makes me feel again. Screaming crying outside my house. I don’t want to go in. I’m so fucking a lone.",-1.4357333333333315,0.5331781155555575,1.1278888888888898,100.3345,94.51111111111112,3.7111111111111117,15.055555555555555,5.2151,-1.0874444444444444,776,17,192,4,30,263,117,225,0.147,0.754,0.099,-0.8565,0,0,3,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,1,0,8,9,2,0,13,0,11,9,3,2,0,29,41,15,0,6,2,2,2,0,2,2,1,1,0,0,6,12,3,0,5,4,0,8,12,5,0,2,3,4,25,4,25,36,4,37,1,2,1,2,11,12,2,0,16,110,31,0,0.1272019432839534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11891664597034762,0.0,0.0,0.09781044267798604,0.0,0.1550822479602914,0.1404845526079972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12988740612277028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397253617543203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113152777665567,0.0,0.0,0.12460947813269853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13143361063509115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717312339155884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06431712451512027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965518116862384,0.11759614686120815,0.0,0.0,0.43375077442922416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467739640898609,0.136172311138639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398137228213095,0.0,0.0,0.13468849142701805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256971699457996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148047201092095,0.0,0.08490828488131613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14129268336304487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284377015188561,0.14897737860639648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829558875252416,0.0,0.2457048589382428,0.0,0.23874081375207254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08619532878137387,0.0967428098065377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142864806442825,0.2645574337643257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10136347990619612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13057096683993574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09792627046466487,0.0,0.0,0.09003419016119127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450731896013351,0.08150586906700215,0.0,0.0,0.07417247605980404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636176973495416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986163789036472,0.0,0.0,0.07502700183758458,0.10096698181570048,0.10203372619944773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fuckmeimfallingapart,2018/03/02,"Have you guys ever tried psychadelics like LSD, shrooms or DMT? They apparently can exacerbate mental illness but fuck that I will do these things before I die multiple times. It seems worth it...",5.9857843137254925,8.739630323529411,5.141764705882356,78.38460784313726,69.29411764705881,8.062745098039215,28.98039215686275,8.841846274778883,2.5155215686274515,157,6,26,3,3,47,32,34,0.278,0.627,0.095,-0.8705,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,4,6,2,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,5,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,3,16,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050745627105905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3720877045665881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243023429098269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3314464506516199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35499168884987425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751550202183625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3613043669017497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263836232458255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381851078545859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20905620279446396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24341190434093585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ShakyMD,2018/03/02,"Speaking in front of school soon. Help, please. I’m two weeks, I am set to speak in front of my entire school about my struggles with depression as a bigger part of an outreach day the school leadership is planning. I intend to discuss the struggle that is depression, tell my personas story, and finally send two big messages about mental illness to my school. I’d like to first address those who may suffer from mental illness and help them to know that there can be hope. That I understand how much it forces you to feel worthless and isolate yourself, but that if we all can learn to help one another, we can begin to not be alone. The other is to address those who may hold a stigma against mental illness or simply don’t know how to help at all. I would love it if y’all here at r/BipolarReddit could give me some feedback and overall relay to me what some of the most important things need to be addressed in regard to mental health.

Here’s a few questions to guide your feedback if you’d like to answer them. If not, feel free to share some thoughts and ideas with me it’d be much appreciated. Love y’all. It’s hard. I know.

1. As a person who suffers from mental illness, what does it help to hear? What helps to give you hope?
2. How can others help?
3. What’s one thing you think people need to better understand about mental illness and bipolar disorder?
4. What do you wish for in the future for the mental health community?
5. What do you think I really need to relay to other people who may be suffering from mental illness?

Thank you. Hope to see some good responses.",2.9662269835955826,5.2272299190938565,3.687847338466693,87.60058252427186,76.66990291262134,6.2038165383327755,24.24740542350184,7.237678284180719,1.0689720120522264,1251,42,240,15,29,396,151,309,0.13,0.66,0.21,0.9868,0,1,0,0,0,0,35.0,2,10,2,3,10,20,0,2,11,0,23,11,0,4,2,56,49,17,0,13,8,0,3,2,0,4,9,3,3,1,26,10,0,1,14,0,1,3,3,8,0,5,1,7,27,13,45,36,11,19,0,6,1,2,39,8,0,17,9,167,53,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710762825089099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07806719613273295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06584487343416724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05944217536259048,0.0,0.0,0.048014016927379534,0.0,0.12824715421736835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532601857910191,0.0,0.06515159632710954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07528819794381361,0.0,0.0,0.08155621025468715,0.0,0.06332703439581414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428382278364323,0.0,0.06244503153123855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06669247377299893,0.0,0.0,0.1582734932615655,0.08391043157584803,0.0,0.3493153214204722,0.0,0.0,0.2218366040922813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404485842239684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274712976974285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274490668847412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13438785638549966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6002237885877186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094584640050098,0.16561093977669727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089833810276387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062197068183391,0.0,0.10322835269204954,0.06500676817018898,0.0,0.08172361716860269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08340091018263956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04769450291570395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013890344168313,0.05932691951781354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15566236981864673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06507248125589217,0.06854345171844163,0.0,0.0,0.09892239128438944,0.09540896067977046,0.0,0.05910489278819685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14545343987580964,0.15500991240838696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059719207232616235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08561369387081498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05288706243919023,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Dang_ol_boomhaur_man,2018/03/02,"Schizoaffective vs Bipolar 1 I was diagnosed Bipolar 1 when I had my first psychotic break, but how do I know I don’t have schizoaffective disorder? ",4.177777777777777,7.2621638148148175,4.9644444444444495,75.50000000000003,77.51851851851852,11.007407407407408,34.925925925925924,10.504223727775694,5.153503703703704,121,7,20,5,3,39,20,27,0.157,0.843,0.0,-0.5499,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,0,4,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,5,0,0,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,14,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5529559834185921,0.0,0.0,0.6243828630674698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4634027897243854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2994053693321211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Infinity8Music,2018/03/02,Bipolar weightlifting I got back into lifting weights about a month ago. I hadn’t been in the gym since I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 two years ago. I’m on lithium and abilify and was wondering if anyone knows  about how lifting weights and meds mix. Will I still be able to build as much muscle/strength as before? I’m a 20 year old male. ,4.071470588235297,5.370127911764707,4.290470588235299,88.52511764705883,71.3529411764706,7.2047058823529415,31.24705882352941,7.554174236665415,1.8965670588235304,270,12,55,3,5,84,52,68,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,6,5,0,1,0,9,11,7,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,3,4,0,9,4,1,11,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,8,31,4,0,0.2109393175500091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3739699553159092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474936754143916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16219931468894005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179493822820204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21409896707550735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16870744191812295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592673238575285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343060289328931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683697507899398,0.0,0.15506466938820687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213453299562083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17449118326412924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16845641147686188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20605706256473275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.513734522785803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287546918141304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27167600917003576
bipolarreddit,Emmalah,2018/03/03,"My therapist says she doubts my diagnosis because she has never seen me manic. I doubt her ability as a therapist as a result. Is it just me? What does she want from me? To induce mania so she can go ""Huh, guess your psychiatrist is right.""? ",1.126241134751773,3.691293999999999,3.784148936170212,81.88416666666669,87.72340425531915,7.388652482269504,20.599290780141846,8.344100000000001,1.6443078014184391,186,6,36,5,6,65,37,47,0.107,0.8190000000000001,0.07400000000000001,-0.3899,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,2,2,1,4,0,0,2,1,8,8,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,2,12,0,4,7,0,3,0,0,1,0,7,1,0,3,1,27,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18929191770771772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717407398426932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764773573997082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3420760553636949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23949445426495766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651849160208768,0.0,0.2469403257868609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7210821934167178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831544905298671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Ninetenthsofacent,2018/03/03,"Lamictal Withdrawal Experiences Hi there.  I've been trying to find out about people's experiences getting off Lamictal.  I've been on a road getting off meds for a while now, with the doc's approval.  I got off some clonazepam and then moved on to Lamictal.  As I mentioned, I've gotten off things before, but this last one really has me freaked out.  It's been 5 weeks, and I'm still exhausted.  It's not every day, but most days, and I get dizzy still.  It just seems with everything else that I've gotten off of, that given some time, you have a slope effect of things generally getting better over time.  This is the first time where if it is the withdrawals, it doesn't seem to be getting better (as quickly as I would think) and kind of getting worse.  

I'm looking into other things, such as Lyme (which actually could be a possibility) but was wondering if anyone else had a case of a longer withdrawal time with Lamictal, or something that you thought was harder than you might have thought in the first place?  Or just any thoughts?  It's really dragging me down.  I'd really appreciate it, and hope that everyone is feeling well!  

Thanks, and take care.",5.471242424242423,6.6099897,5.8990909090909085,78.89196969696972,67.9090909090909,9.321212121212124,30.12121212121212,9.558583805096642,2.6963121212121206,914,34,172,19,15,294,125,220,0.057,0.7979999999999999,0.145,0.9586,0,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,0,3,0,6,11,9,0,0,10,0,18,1,0,1,0,40,43,19,0,5,10,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,18,12,0,0,10,0,0,1,2,2,1,3,13,2,9,7,30,25,3,33,0,0,1,0,5,16,0,12,16,117,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.11225457685021546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822566169976357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043300490064723,0.11786381319124885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788370579261238,0.0,0.0,0.2034728004195729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728272613811633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918436413743757,0.0,0.0,0.14837216588128824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19218884539505754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691936811827577,0.10991794528567377,0.10338328757643056,0.22504661435699466,0.0,0.0,0.05816360361557672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513710634005027,0.19569221351250493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3605966355478087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200154829996184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11425266872485773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11978806068166008,0.0,0.093766381675086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659785545567233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12777454979314798,0.0,0.0,0.12203070669617296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226074426164482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794861748795279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797486611693125,0.0,0.12018389075242775,0.0,0.0,0.12968122497962292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22107721300232702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2094415100981618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855720497143055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837293067895412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648970064161049,0.0,0.0,0.1059059524620339,0.0,0.0,0.2292663224452825,0.07370782037436588,0.0,0.2739675261006552,0.2683041898562544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07809913425502571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227168115530084,0.0,0.10342752604616932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474722862548372,0.0,0.0,0.11722737114626412,0.0817153875405801,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,KurtWarner_,2018/03/03,"Looking for resources on being supportive Coming from /nba after viewing a mental health post there.

I'm looking for knowledge/resources on how to help and be a support system for my girlfriend.

She let me know beforehand that she was bipolar and gave me opportunities to not pursue a relationship with her. I really care about her so I let her know I appreciate it but that I'd really like to build something with her.

Most recently she lost her meds when I was visiting and it totally shook her. One night she started to have a manic episode (Idk what the correct term is) and she was crying and laughing and rolling around on the bed.

I tried to comfort her but honestly I had no clue what to do. She couldn't talk after a point and was texting me saying it felt like if she talked that she'd completely lose it. She needed me to leave so I left but I felt scared and awful that I couldn't do anything for her. I didn't want to leave also because I was worried about possible suicidal tendencies.

I feel like this is something I'll have to talk to her more about, but atm she isn't ready to open up about the topic, and I don't want to force the issue just yet.

I'm stuck in between wanting to give her the space she needs, and wanting to do everything I can to become the support system she needs. I don't feel her family provides her with it.

Sorry this got longer than I wanted, but what are some things that I can do to help? What helps those here that go through this?

Apologies if anything I said was politically incorrect, I'm here to learn and soak up the knowledge. ",3.90666666666667,5.400974926751593,4.7322452229299365,84.4375822717622,72.02547770700636,7.653715498938428,27.733014861995755,8.212053250817874,1.8007817409766456,1253,46,248,19,24,405,155,314,0.135,0.733,0.132,0.1455,0,0,2,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,3,15,15,0,2,12,1,29,2,0,1,2,49,61,23,1,12,9,0,4,3,1,0,2,2,1,0,20,17,0,0,8,0,1,4,8,4,0,1,15,9,47,11,41,39,5,26,0,2,3,0,38,11,0,4,11,183,67,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220574890634427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16918433794793528,0.09151003903860888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06266335396621008,0.11352986383217305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480714968333577,0.0,0.0,0.0885494631491754,0.10777942058035617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11291633848265598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238621962980514,0.0,0.09690671371268844,0.0,0.103953271056833,0.07343732646786659,0.1974001405336212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861107996395076,0.05842121125760245,0.0,0.08221517661874167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926710822863632,0.0,0.0,0.2067055354357504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729208815519732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298774576350727,0.0,0.0,0.21769177902624007,0.1116879168053658,0.2102313013476695,0.0,0.15066247850628114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1726451324794297,0.11500218476820527,0.11221373804511446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418293901286684,0.0,0.10359396939674216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286653072163015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646687686754273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965708156415269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717523955380768,0.11588679769902195,0.09844994279532804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13170721905755167,0.0,0.10149843233705846,0.1103641985196886,0.0,0.0,0.09778232770388484,0.08174733095158661,0.10291650962461897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15827442868352884,0.0,0.11507146078658885,0.07275938286084663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11244189995589272,0.34995430219478546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24787006473736795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829294919803032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979158758951473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031580748285164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104394105405721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DAT_DROP,2018/03/03,"Is it wrong to want to choose the time, place, and method of your demise? Watching Dad nearing the end has me thinking. I was a teenager when I decided that 38 was the age I would end it, as after that I'd be too old.
38 was over a decade ago, and since I had kids and a healthy body I allowed the year to pass.

Now I've been caring for my father for the past four months. He is frail, has a hard time walking, has multiple health issues, and is in constant pain. I look at him and think that's not an existence I want- I've led a rich and exciting life. He's less than 20 years older than me, so in him I see my near future...

I had ideation for a six month period years ago, but other than that I don't think about suicide. I'm not looking to end it all now, but this has been my plan for 35+ years. I now learn that bipolar people have 20x suicide rate vs the general population. 

When the time comes and my health & quality of life start to tank, I'd like to go under my own terms.

Outside of crisis situations, do any/many of you have similar thoughts of a long-term planned end-of-life?
",3.4379885057471284,3.67671774137931,4.5307931034482785,90.12685057471266,72.01724137931033,7.9108045977011505,26.242528735632185,7.793537801064563,1.1378370114942524,844,25,199,10,15,277,137,232,0.05,0.843,0.108,0.8996,1,0,1,0,0,2,35.0,0,2,0,2,8,6,0,0,15,0,20,7,1,2,1,27,34,13,2,3,5,2,1,1,0,1,6,0,0,1,10,8,0,0,7,0,1,5,3,2,0,2,8,5,22,4,28,24,4,42,0,0,4,0,9,8,0,0,30,118,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21675461876423907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13247012095397048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13580479729343506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12465359396682042,0.0,0.0,0.10531732671604437,0.0,0.13212108452072538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4331490657762549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06948394235658631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952215445238377,0.0,0.0,0.2599161943476974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276090842386183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17271361350472406,0.05973071963919933,0.0,0.0,0.10819744684548,0.2053374823135806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12395381857595222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19517568523960407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282927195832451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009469578771618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671229212650555,0.0847606255083992,0.0,0.1277370880820357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742646621161524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10113585160654837,0.1374268792331335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653721235445913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674681447650946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23502040792363965,0.0,0.09706185466854364,0.21387472803892785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14422582307262335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08685095473760827,0.133673592619684,0.0,0.31492920197450897
bipolarreddit,Languy22,2018/03/03,"I think I might have Bipolar disorder. Back in 2014 I was diagnosed with major depression with psychotic features. I see a psychiatrist take my prozac as prescribed and go to therapy. I am now doing much better than I was then. I steal deal with depression but I can function and I know how to manage it. The only time I ever get relief from it is during the spring. From March to May I feel fantastic. I have more energy and I feel more creative and productive. When summer hits I tend to get depressed. When this happened last summer I talked with my doctor and decided to increase my dosage of prozac. It did not work and I felt weird and had suicidal ideations. He suggested what I have might be bipolar disorder. I thought he did not know what he was talking about until I remembered spring time. In the spring I am walking on sunshine. I also think I am a genius and the shit. My libido also goes up, and I will do things sexually that I would not do the rest of the year. I know reddit can not diagnose Me but does my behavior make any alarm off. Any advice would be helpful.",2.6347099977431725,5.024693739336495,3.9873392010832767,84.3712638230648,78.43127962085308,7.431369893929138,25.213495824870233,8.418075326091056,1.9120709095012407,853,32,162,18,21,280,121,211,0.123,0.725,0.152,0.8683,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,2,9,10,1,1,8,0,26,8,1,2,1,38,44,19,1,2,6,0,3,0,0,6,7,0,0,0,8,13,0,0,11,0,0,3,4,7,0,0,8,5,31,3,22,27,6,25,0,3,2,0,8,5,1,3,17,123,39,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036805583508562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21337806369850434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18144862562979786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258511571106656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11799152345581647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754127401426136,0.34472107657955225,0.27081948346306284,0.0,0.0,0.30580199786194223,0.13655219986748213,0.11674919709428787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067823054875333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349136039044159,0.0,0.12809584585399367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13940387869563772,0.0,0.07582076133915265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11797524214284877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942283537309287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199582152108048,0.10874808033279217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905313165849145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830567812853729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098072714316913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146536572675212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511290857857225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631159649575783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13694486370825254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593039544292558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10030875400444393,0.2144620263429479,0.0,0.0,0.15256753917978813,0.0,0.08863259235517662,0.1709692499173468,0.0,0.1059137329915994,0.15558649630534493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712507307342083,0.0,0.0,0.18954323223180072,0.0,0.0,0.08591255422403238
bipolarreddit,Coffin_Nail,2018/03/03,"Losing my step dad My step dad passed away on Monday, he was in hospice care. I was there as he took his last breath and I watched the life drain from his body. That experience has changed my outlook on life. I no longer want to kill myself. I don't know if this is a permanent thing or if those feelings will someday come back but for the first time in years the thoughts are not in the back of my mind.",2.2885714285714265,3.853028809523813,2.5757142857142874,97.96928571428572,76.38095238095238,5.752380952380952,22.714285714285715,6.18269132825596,0.06211428571428579,316,9,75,2,7,96,64,84,0.076,0.885,0.039,-0.4588,0,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,2,3,3,1,0,5,0,7,4,2,0,0,12,14,6,1,3,5,2,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,5,3,2,0,1,4,2,11,1,11,9,0,18,0,1,1,0,6,6,0,3,7,49,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21450681702469493,0.3511159607473121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536033725402354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23277949276667406,0.0,0.2415240227126784,0.19667073457206816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22333313039290467,0.0,0.0,0.1154415027083484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19420223122279567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525936097239427,0.0,0.12547440812552227,0.18610490635414426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3225273019904293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25542293935371263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305302262736791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15168047334451434,0.0,0.0,0.1812543752468955,0.1331306733703526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536632425337797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13466444436266134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702556412563728
bipolarreddit,bipolar-noirefemme,2018/03/03,"Switching to Abilify questions and concerns I got taken off 100 mg of Seroquel. It kept me stable and on a pretty good sleep schedule. My anxiety and mood were under control. I stopped self medicating with alcohol. I also moved to a much less stressful environment and was put on 100% unemployability by the VA. I have a very supportive bf. Things were going well. The only problem with Seroquel was weight gain. It was driving me crazy that I was working out constantly and eating better than I ever have, but still seeing fat accumulate all over. The doc I see now put me on 5 mg Abilify and 2.5 mg of Ambien on Wednesday. It’s Saturday where I live and I’ve slept no more than 3 - 4 hours each night. My anxiety is so pronounced that I barely leave the house. The doc also mentioned that he doesn’t believe I have bipolar (it’s a military doc, of course) because I have seemed quite stable (duh because the meds were working) and said that he’d probably take that diagnosis off before he PCS’s. I had also told him I’d be on Abilify before with no effect, but he said I should try it because it *might* work this time. I’m exhausted. How long should I wait this out and has anyone had success with it?",3.2056636271529904,5.32483672340426,4.792158054711249,80.6366666666667,75.38297872340425,7.54002026342452,27.78622087132725,8.418075326091056,2.1677071935157053,950,39,177,18,21,319,140,235,0.084,0.8190000000000001,0.097,0.4277,2,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,0,9,10,9,0,1,10,1,21,9,3,3,2,32,36,16,0,3,2,0,1,0,1,3,5,2,0,1,15,16,4,4,3,0,0,5,3,3,1,0,16,5,21,5,23,15,5,29,0,0,2,0,12,12,0,3,12,117,36,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913927939440828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28990277856847235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848817742486768,0.0,0.0,0.08449287438194437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22098552316481615,0.0,0.20564880468634208,0.13614326389213552,0.0,0.10687156216051724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058315840056914,0.1355303088639104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12364763903194667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10930506395522392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867512996854648,0.10135334340916592,0.09664534195949842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900127939817055,0.13943105101957154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795019904492025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10670233854051824,0.10693799851260036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13422399173346158,0.12173176692509848,0.0,0.12819022718790246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12843187593826993,0.08882997589479755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339845860652464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09190289118071096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293588469879503,0.13028401026777398,0.11562583143177455,0.0,0.24295151999498996,0.1353664316135291,0.12852629283970932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22988958698857614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19258479016985905,0.11000655281341057,0.12606058944059295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092546119610785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650153726089067,0.1010261403733012,0.13841974215329295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13712574975726474,0.0,0.0,0.09085528286143596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802795262397055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046172226710952,0.0,0.0,0.11546607210330813,0.0,0.08204120122205452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970416467026967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14714836543822948,0.10864804785857184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639149316907779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kjjja,2018/03/04,"Manic psychotic crisis for First time Hi, I'm a 21 year old, recently I was diagnosed with BD type 1, due to a manic psychotic crisis, the truth is that I lost my common sense, I had delusions I behaved in a way that now embarrasses me a lot.

The crisis was in the university, it lasted about 1 week being the last days a strong psychosis, because of this I lost several relationships, people who think I'm crazy or I can be dangerous.

I was hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital, and there I was able to stabilize myself after a lot of medication, why talk about side effects and how bad they feel.

I broke my gf and the truth all this takes me very sudden, I have never had depression or any similar episode, in fact I practice a lot of sport and I lead a normal ""life"".

Now I feel very lonely and misunderstood, I hope that this bad moment ends, I miss my life before the crisis.

Do you have any experience with psychosis?, how do you deal with bipolar disorder?.

I would like to know about your experiences with this disorder and how to face it

Thanks you",6.250349593495933,6.359530258536588,7.247134146341466,73.5315142276423,65.92682926829268,10.93089430894309,31.71747967479675,10.686352973137794,3.3412845528455284,833,30,158,21,12,281,118,205,0.222,0.691,0.086,-0.9839,0,3,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,4,1,6,9,16,1,1,15,0,15,6,1,5,5,32,27,11,0,3,2,0,2,1,1,1,5,0,0,0,10,10,0,0,5,1,0,1,1,10,0,1,8,2,27,6,20,16,4,25,0,6,0,0,11,5,0,6,19,107,37,2,0.13466360332976965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18315173615193306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248769677557776,0.08208968268745066,0.0,0.11458880799058915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684688370575548,0.13883226197401305,0.11598556422341967,0.1366807227331351,0.0,0.0,0.30867231224674896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119271982275097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634536879521384,0.0,0.0,0.13617992806416776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454479219936843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13375134311591638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400759463256693,0.21953762005094946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19023377101539796,0.06578983446558244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2940024612874477,0.3434585398048313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356594130251385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386087263573096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319417394729374,0.0,0.0,0.14130679883826391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335878681992647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296406234999256,0.1445783135294887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521315412918855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012502706117716,0.10823750338983557,0.0,0.12398015332035354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628699953573378,0.0,0.0,0.07852343003760008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22222315172099588,0.0,0.1068897002483827,0.1080190198078058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151295642151035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566116011793682,0.0,0.0,0.08671894542470747
bipolarreddit,starlight95,2018/03/04,"Having weird fever dreams/nightmares despite taking meds properly I’m taking my lamictal, rexulti, Doxepin and vistaril every night and morning as directed. For months I had normal dreams and normal nightmares but for the past week I’ve had “fever dreams” that are so intense I wake up feeling the emotions I felt in the dream. I’m wondering if it has anything to do with the medications I take, and I won’t see my doctor for another 3 months. I’ve been incredibly manic for the past few months and now I’m dipping into a depressive episode, maybe that has something to do with it. ",7.7755757575757585,7.6014377090909075,7.865454545454547,71.32484848484852,62.81818181818181,10.969696969696967,38.33333333333333,10.504223727775694,4.1652424242424235,468,22,80,10,6,152,70,110,0.045,0.8440000000000001,0.111,0.7195,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,0,10,5,1,0,0,15,20,9,0,3,2,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,3,7,0,12,15,1,11,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,2,8,49,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847558730913016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449935137016483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15175653874271658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803431001249832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981957165132837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14845192920623226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908951155956588,0.0,0.16917487947363635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17701161036791746,0.0,0.19571298068207066,0.1774979766353258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4219116247311877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16534711903596716,0.34526747931383034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33639622501640704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404046431319846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13564355792205804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3974302505062081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14133304152262405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910760161992009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DangerousPrint,2018/03/04,"Bipolar II and not on meds. I (23F) have Biploar II and have never been on meds to treat it. I am not a fan of medications unless there is absolutely no other option (besides death). I have tired Prozac once but it made me violently nauseous and did nothing to help me.. 
For the most part, I think I have managed fine so far. .
I have waves of very low hopeless depression and then waves of great high functioning hypo-mania. 

Anyone else similar to this?  opinions?
",3.3917045454545445,5.630195670454551,4.522727272727273,82.22909090909094,75.25,7.127272727272729,26.90909090909091,8.07648339933343,1.857268181818181,361,14,67,6,8,118,65,88,0.252,0.655,0.092,-0.9507,0,0,0,0,0,1,16.0,0,0,0,0,2,7,1,0,2,0,9,4,0,1,1,14,11,8,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,0,8,3,10,8,2,7,0,3,0,0,1,5,0,3,2,47,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16109360054458924,0.2360611301833925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19843402213310252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19246075120182465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540050878122421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544251346888632,0.24341901294881185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2179999873618769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5118212930019844,0.23209304663932045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17769048102971186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22106480896472971,0.0,0.0,0.2453571541985633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494892305770441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14762420211786575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647986829576534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900953541173013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,niki1998bobe,2018/03/04,"Am I bipolar? Hy! I’m suffering from bulimia and also have anxiety and depression.After years of visiting psicologists,my current one said that I could possibly be bipolar.So I would like to ask you what is it like?what levels of bipolarity exists?
I have periods where I am active,full of adrenalin,work without rest and dont even have the time or the need to sleep much..
And then there are periods of deep depression,where I could sleep all day and I can’t find the energy or the will to do anything or see anyone.",4.1888366336633664,5.957216534653469,5.456522277227721,78.4285457920792,71.77227722772278,9.802475247524754,30.446782178217827,10.125756701596842,3.321048514851485,414,18,78,12,8,138,70,101,0.062,0.888,0.05,-0.2575,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,15,4,2,0,1,15,20,10,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,1,2,8,1,9,14,3,11,0,1,1,0,4,3,0,3,8,56,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17486302709885815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672749750459646,0.0,0.0,0.15289277173196233,0.0,0.179939273498967,0.0,0.20441840617510826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3491658408890712,0.0,0.0,0.1410181785293596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25626892339052537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14442344929981873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998520833588676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136533224040066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16074090657686604,0.1621342722144946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14817027158352147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24650728831058746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079965701492959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742444116020055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4376375894530983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12750291781679818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107812858256929,0.0,0.15918772520884214,0.0,0.0,0.1553304157871916,0.0,0.0,0.1408104379336384
bipolarreddit,daydreamer782,2018/03/04,Looking for friend Just looking for a friend who can help me by just listening without judging.,8.680588235294117,9.436907647058828,7.004705882352942,75.12117647058824,60.764705882352935,9.15294117647059,46.41176470588235,8.841846274778883,4.6121058823529415,78,5,12,1,1,23,13,17,0.0,0.588,0.412,0.8442,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,2,4,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,10,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6020670541769642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611662898576114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6543959543692532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3755973458663369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,1999wasagoodyear,2018/03/04,"Possibly Bipolar Friend Hi guys i’m not sure where to put this but i could really use some advice! 

A bit of background on me before i start, my mom has BPD and i personally have had a lot of experience with the mental health system and was tested extensively for mood disorders so i know a bit about the process. 

So anyways, i have a good friend (f19) who is also one of my roommates. i’ve always known her to be a partier, smokes weed regularly, drinks quite a bit and just generally goes out p often nothing too unusual for university. i have noticed though that when she’s not in her party girl!!! mood she hits really low (we did have a suicide scare wherein she left notes and everything) and that the change can happen really fast. similarly her feelings can seem to change fast as well (being in love with a bf one day and breaking up with him and moving on the next.) 

I just want to know what you guys think: does this sound like bipolar? if it does can/should i talk to her about getting help? if so how? and what kind of help? i’m just genuinely very worried about her. any help is appreciated!!! 

ps sorry if this isn’t the right subreddit for this ",3.3273684210526326,5.14983805263158,4.51280701754386,84.08131578947369,74.17543859649123,7.782456140350878,24.719298245614038,8.532816995589336,1.5849087719298245,908,29,184,17,19,298,143,228,0.09,0.736,0.175,0.9733,0,0,2,0,0,1,29.0,1,1,0,1,18,12,0,1,13,0,16,5,0,2,1,37,30,20,1,5,9,1,1,1,3,0,3,1,0,4,10,13,1,0,6,1,0,2,3,2,1,2,3,2,22,8,25,23,5,20,0,1,0,1,26,10,0,7,7,119,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122618948598148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187153094702216,0.0955914817544966,0.0,0.0,0.07812407112474637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775658559010833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3762659594471549,0.0,0.14469054568916226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2430610026745831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917243653192276,0.0,0.0,0.07408973851017908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316653512702747,0.0,0.20106898128091014,0.0,0.0,0.11254115934845664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10324902514382407,0.1123771747300052,0.0,0.0,0.05808806735537789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17751594092748466,0.0,0.060021388955039875,0.0,0.0,0.0963580294564172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275035657282949,0.10159025648319384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122114774801888,0.0,0.0,0.2310100479388825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963249359919095,0.1262728862597251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248202229369959,0.0,0.0,0.056125809288652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766903281351894,0.10368598354939368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11577458622998033,0.0,0.0,0.1345490500104925,0.0,0.1221019659395228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217889153929,0.0,0.0,0.1102329017864323,0.13079454065069138,0.0,0.0,0.1556947734127732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031100839585587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295128097827636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548869002599403,0.0,0.1221917293973828,0.0,0.0,0.22079010311147929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810906702147026,0.0,0.0,0.1150174704899256,0.0,0.0,0.10458475566613537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286016052577834,0.0813144577248736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256628597022918,0.0,0.10827544051706756,0.0,0.0,0.09233823922016086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361209705682031,0.11287151866645648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922163451270867,0.0,0.09479013235350732,0.06776070244230388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10329320616167964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666880252371513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PrepickedUsername,2018/03/04,"How do I get my dad to stop spending money we don't have? My dad has BPD 1 and has always been super impulsive, but it's getting even worse. I won't go into specifics, but he is unemployed and spends majority of his time buying and reselling things online.

The problem is that he doesn't have the money in the first place to be buying these things; I just found out he has taken out 2 new credit cards this month alone just so he could charge them without going over the minimum. 

I've tried, endlessly, to talk to him and tell him this isn't normal or healthy but he considers it to be his ""occupation"" and will not listen. He is majorly in debt, and if anything happens to him (which wouldn't be surprising based on all of his health complications), my family takes on all of his debt. I'm scared.

What do I DO?",6.004159891598919,5.4495583048780505,6.554471544715447,80.52602981029811,66.5609756097561,9.97181571815718,29.807588075880762,9.444778638647367,2.320353116531165,638,19,133,11,9,209,103,164,0.16399999999999998,0.802,0.034,-0.9705,4,1,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,1,2,5,5,0,1,4,0,22,1,0,1,2,28,32,13,0,5,9,2,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,10,10,0,1,1,0,9,2,7,2,0,1,3,1,16,3,18,22,4,16,0,0,0,0,20,9,0,2,5,90,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20730496933091108,0.0,0.0,0.16654881257913404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16471428712461528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520939955491729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15981114476001362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220352084857245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18869264685347853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17025564423439654,0.0,0.2194646581490536,0.0,0.0,0.2091502480416778,0.0,0.2275106143268145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17700046360134705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21276028332583208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597654743834143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19331537842329874,0.0,0.0,0.1961138994103979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20912416880954116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19152569462293006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2003946668088091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16734237903826152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15049510083278328,0.16088069580574735,0.17494830326185187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659542740003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11671466604327978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13589522217641378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19294670117798432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203979721402012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SZAdragon,2018/03/05,"Is there a protection against noise complaints during mental episodes? Hey guys,

I've been getting noise complaints from my mental breakdowns that are either the truth or (most of the time) overinflated (i.e cries reported as screams, laughter reported as ""violent fighting"" etc). I was wondering if there's an ADA accommodation that can protect disabled people from getting evicted from excessive noise related to illness?

Thanks.

PS The walls are non-insulated and very thin.",7.238344155844157,10.906256389610395,6.093620129870134,68.51757305194809,69.51948051948051,9.044805194805196,40.79383116883117,9.516144504307137,5.124040259740261,390,24,51,10,8,117,62,77,0.215,0.665,0.12,-0.8299,1,0,0,0,2,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,0,5,0,6,1,0,0,1,7,10,5,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,2,2,8,8,3,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,4,1,31,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3156506621493992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32048154340902224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002667140496365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845308535219869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5791811083174456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992187342745674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26456180570649673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16756149984212648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371014904989787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31162886782846777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,rosesandgrace,2018/03/05,Geodon users? Just started taking Geodon and am not enjoying how cloudy I feel. Does it get better?,2.2416666666666667,5.073995388888889,1.8277777777777795,92.645,95.11111111111113,4.622222222222223,17.11111111111111,6.42735559955562,0.10097777777777804,79,2,14,1,3,23,17,18,0.132,0.713,0.155,0.124,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,5,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.498873020929372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4936204139046984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28521013702085074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29470267040075354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3992508046033356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4241095433825536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Araneophagous,2018/03/05,"It’s only 4:30am I have to be up at 8am for work and I’ve spent the last 6.5 hours drawing circles by hand, perfection takes time. But, I swear I’m fine... ",0.4173333333333318,1.6546368285714266,2.4457142857142853,98.30761904761906,80.71428571428572,5.80952380952381,20.238095238095237,6.42735559955562,-0.15604761904761946,119,3,31,1,3,40,32,35,0.035,0.762,0.202,0.7717,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,1,3,5,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,2,5,3,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,13,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.515606095819674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4267753832246511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3981948022397077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.393655748221286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30529498259691024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3811615814714507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,marsasagirl,2018/03/05,"Waiting to get into a doctor I moved to Florida about a year ago and I had a lapse in insurance coverage. I used to be on a lot of medication that helped several things and finally had me functioning as an adult. I ran out of these meds about 8 months ago, but I’ve been managing pretty well lately until this past week. I’ve been working a full time job and I deal with stressful people day in and day out. It usually doesn’t get to me, but I haven’t been able to get in to see a doctor and I feel so frustrated. I’ve had some really bad lows and some mild highs but I feel myself dipping down really low again and I’m worried I’m going to fuck everything up. On top of having bipolar I also have ptsd and anxiety. Depending on how my bipolar is being treated these things kind of make one or the other worse at times. I’m just really frustrated and I’ve worked really hard to get to where I am and I don’t know how to keep control of everything when I can’t even get a doctors office to call me back and schedule me. I don’t have a support system anymore and I just feel helplessly lost. I don’t usually post personal stuff like this on reddit and I’m on my phone and pretty mixed up so sorry for poor writing. ",2.0787486631016066,3.759419329411767,4.293591800356508,84.92434491978612,77.27450980392156,8.0873440285205,24.139928698752232,8.841846274778883,1.782490196078431,959,32,201,22,22,332,141,255,0.206,0.72,0.07400000000000001,-0.9896,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,5,15,14,3,1,10,0,19,7,0,6,0,40,42,26,0,0,6,0,4,1,0,0,6,0,0,2,10,18,0,3,4,0,1,3,6,9,1,1,8,5,22,5,37,32,4,45,0,4,1,1,7,21,1,5,20,134,32,7,0.1065158692169519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18883978252207545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08518070212967284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148434840421341,0.0,0.10563512059535247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190412859561096,0.08893630162532534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087646116586288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946660455500868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738784761386355,0.10981318406655527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3270705168221585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035272704270885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19145919013860188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16157287175959034,0.0,0.0,0.1166829282726158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847220471722197,0.2782507269274043,0.0,0.06053542313516312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541729696949608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139534187796255,0.11253986395473707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10570056452958013,0.09467619866858906,0.0,0.11091988668588723,0.05853833609100392,0.0,0.12015453998141888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05203827337502807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11627465381001295,0.09055598296472342,0.0,0.0,0.071100169811595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11831511841618884,0.10730353219829317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501995058830243,0.11320951205373456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217790963376892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016814496894055,0.07384469211634598,0.0930055484916404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201275900407218,0.21672986427970772,0.0,0.0,0.12451135107098242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729471732603619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848793571098339,0.0,0.0,0.12033261367838012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192357950057224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201356830846224,0.0,0.12193518655497255,0.0,0.12087294611723914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415288210517197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422051983666893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919955116359172,0.2346243629876366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08544060534765181,0.0,0.09577055846767853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15508964277564127,0.10817203559314714,0.10854877063736317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859272751576631
bipolarreddit,ilovepringles9,2018/03/05,"Meltdowns at work and ruining relationships, advice? I’ve been struggling with bipolar and I’ve tried so many different meds none has worked for me. In the past 2 years I had 2 ectopic pregnancies which triggered a meltdown that required me to transfer to a different location. Then I had a meltdown in November because I’m so exhausted with my current job. It’s customer service and sometimes I have to handle picky clients. Started taking just klonipin to help my nerves. Ended up causing a huge fight because I took too many and felt like I could stick up for myself for once. Broke up with my boyfriend. Ended up getting back together. Things haven’t been the same since. Long story short, I recently found out that during that time we “broke up” he added was talking or trying to talk to girls on social media.  I’m normally not the person to go through peoples phones but I had a really weird feeling by the way he was acting. I’m overly jealous. It’s a flaw.  Which caused another meltdown. Well, i really can’t control my moods at this point. I’ve been crying at work 24/7 recently. How embarrassing. I started partying too much again. (Black out drinking, klonopin, weed) I can’t sleep at night. It’s the only temporary fix that makes me happy for a moment. I did stupid shit I’m too embarrassed to even say the past couple weekends at parties. I feel super guilty too. I tried killing my self either last weekend or the weekend before. I cant even remember because I’m too mentally drained. I can’t get these thoughts out of my head. I feel guilty and I hate myself. I don’t feel bad for myself at all. I think I’m a disgusting human being and really don’t care about life anymore. I would call off but if you get so many points you get fired, plus I really like the people I work with for the most part and don’t want to leave them hanging. So ANYWAYS, (after that nice short summary) I don’t feel mentally stable to go to work for the rest of the week and I have a mandatory 8 hour meeting tomorrow. Honestly I don’t even think it’s worth going good to because I want to quit. I don’t have a back up plan set in stone and i don’t even care anymore. I’m that done. I want to move far away and start over from scratch or I’m probably going to kill myself sometime soon. Rant over! Sorry for how long it was. I’m desperate at this point. I’m embarrassed to talk to anyone and be honest about my condition and how I haven’t taken any meds.",2.173613963039017,4.548081804928135,3.449257084188911,87.6811381930185,80.02669404517455,6.606472279260781,25.34574948665297,7.770157013224466,1.5372446324435316,1937,76,380,33,50,629,244,487,0.179,0.693,0.128,-0.9834,4,0,1,0,1,2,51.0,1,2,1,10,25,30,8,4,21,0,32,7,3,8,1,59,73,27,2,7,9,0,8,2,0,1,3,1,0,4,17,21,1,2,11,4,1,8,15,18,1,0,16,10,48,11,63,53,8,71,0,3,1,0,21,32,1,5,31,232,65,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117316729474292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04953005283628384,0.07637347065559384,0.0,0.0,0.14446478334447696,0.05092767380863427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06843054189125987,0.11201068475992908,0.06081388213195711,0.17759728217701826,0.0,0.06197691415289117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07437231088606944,0.0,0.1485195393987154,0.149642477100724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169024206471608,0.05815253346669079,0.08059014387190938,0.08000543203733346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15219339356654887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453512441211409,0.0,0.0713502188062501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290197452253092,0.0,0.0,0.19242637131736684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18413691221207606,0.0,0.0699326764392406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798594234271575,0.0,0.0,0.15221237313673955,0.0,0.16557441764822176,0.06109024045298093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775338286816757,0.0,0.0719091280415411,0.07474935347950723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048819523933304916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172744902255643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227714167453944,0.0,0.16116147571840447,0.0,0.0,0.05936995274593125,0.0,0.07712136731499337,0.0,0.0,0.05144526023942217,0.07116665221163995,0.0,0.0,0.12891272893331054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048617687799750085,0.22152867946806867,0.0,0.0,0.16180573138970653,0.0,0.14680037254877354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07741169574665238,0.05354184089357748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06835037572764968,0.07136248298497841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756651458156825,0.0,0.0553940258081909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887281748400655,0.13905781066698167,0.10098873734041892,0.06359639832356194,0.0,0.0,0.20655683123380594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785280608090642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774686050800571,0.0,0.0,0.18663894179943985,0.0,0.14383084041439625,0.07819714580435122,0.0825074489055467,0.0,0.0,0.05792102913153841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07598241421085555,0.0,0.07476371134346624,0.06024956689696208,0.0,0.0728872403501764,0.07424574324255531,0.0,0.0,0.1440706427612681,0.08153241646966987,0.15465819930335206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614257986998375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05476258493044217,0.17562517422118662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048388098472847016,0.09333899281290947,0.0,0.05782256848685088,0.042470464330430766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092196502306151,0.14834981879601564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12887927333556176,0.057812747093645936,0.05842355492569262,0.0,0.06548708848835946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651224270427571,0.0,0.0,0.05173963855948533,0.0,0.0,0.04690312021098735
bipolarreddit,2Crazy4LifeOrReddit,2018/03/06,"[Rant warning] Had fucking enough. I hate everybody and everything: Modern society, people, especially any Sanist, atheists, my parents, the world, every single redditor, memes, neighbors, SJWs, Any kind of discriminator, myself, assholes, mythbusters/fake science, medications, cycles, skeptics, people who take anything without a grain of salt, western arabian american oceanian african and asian cultures, rich people, police, politicians, communists, the army/conscription, murder, rape, the lack of cigarettes, moderators...
OH AND ALSO REDDIT ASKING ME IF I AM A HUMAN RIGHT?",13.200602409638556,15.287322072289154,11.356289156626506,43.21009638554218,51.168674698795186,13.386987951807232,51.53975903614458,12.688352899677879,8.080760963855424,464,29,41,14,5,144,72,83,0.221,0.741,0.038,-0.9537,1,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,0,0,0,1,7,5,0,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,6,6,5,1,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,1,1,5,2,4,5,3,3,0,0,0,2,6,2,1,1,1,25,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18675175893113904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3176132485660008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192173133361837,0.0,0.2183165735173915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412962061343968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19675688698650345,0.0,0.20987934842027947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158922969286288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305599373608095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2431828268743061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23525426389476425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593045159391488,0.0,0.0,0.4856954378984407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19943110389569985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17558352458376109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22511205788208824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Stateofdespair,2018/03/06,"Bipolar Boyfriend Hi everyone, I'm new here so please go easy on me if I make a mistake.

My boyfriend (whom I've been dating for over one year) has bipolar disorder. When we started dating he was in a hypomanic phase, luckily he got out of it in a month or so, instead of it escalating into full blown mania or another psychosis. He's had psychosis several times in his life, and it's been difficult for him sometimes. He needs to take medication daily.


I have some questions about certain behaviour and would like to know if this is common with people who have bipolar disorder.


-Being indecisive. He'll say one thing one moment and when he's with other people, they'll be able to change his mind in a minute. He'll tell me/promise me one thing one moment, but then completely abandon those promises and stop caring.

-It's very easy to talk him into doing something, that he usually wouldn't have done on his own. I'm talking: drinking way too much and suddenly just smoking when he quit smoking for months. He also has a hard time when I ask him about this type of behaviour or when I get upset.

-He used to be very sure about our future but ever since a couple of months ago, he's been doubting things and he hasn't been sharing his feelings with me, or telling me how he feels, even when I ask him. He's tried to break up with me two months ago, to which I said ""are you sure? Do you want to give it all up?"" (Calmly and respectfully not mad) and he ended up not breaking up with me. He's been threatening to break up with me again.

-He often gets really tired and sleeps till late afternoon, he's been doing that for months. He lost motivation to look for a job as well. He had a job interview but he cancelled last minute, last week. He was too anxious to go. I often feel as if he's just very insecure.

-He'll say that the reason he never responds when I'm talking to him (irl), is because he just can't think clearly and his mind is just blank. (However I think this could be because he doesn't like to be confronted when he's lied to me)


I've never experienced him in a depressive manic state before, and he doesn't feel anxious when he's outside, he doesn't feel as if they're spying on him and stuff. Which he definitely did when he was experiencing hypomania. He believes the craziest conspiracies when he's actually manic, so I don't know what this all means.

It would help me if y'all could really enlighten me on this subject. I was hoping to talk to his therapist about this tomorrow, but he has been ignoring me and suddenly is hanging out with friends (he's out with one friend who's done hard drugs, right now). He says he's never done harddrugs but this friend does get him to smoke and drink too much when they're out together.

We had fights several times last week and yesterday, but he is just refusing to make up, ignoring me and instead just seeing his friends or he'll sleep over at his parents' place. (Even though I don't live with him, so he could just stay at his own place, but he always feels the need to go to his parents, which is why I think he's insecure.) Any advice? What do I do and what do I say to him? It's been difficult for me to understand everything which is why I'm here. It's also been difficult because him changing his mind constantly is so confusing to me, I never know what he actually wants because he'll constantly tell me something else.",4.59757460766658,5.5052102766272215,5.467339850784668,82.03903138667354,69.75443786982247,9.01435554412143,29.34062258811423,9.26112553598018,2.381684049395421,2681,99,541,53,46,878,267,676,0.125,0.7709999999999999,0.104,-0.8678,5,0,7,0,1,0,81.0,3,3,1,3,47,34,3,6,12,0,60,11,2,6,11,119,108,60,0,17,26,2,8,2,4,9,7,5,0,0,35,34,2,5,18,2,0,4,14,18,1,7,23,17,60,16,75,68,8,95,0,3,2,0,108,29,0,18,58,340,95,5,0.05887487933558145,0.0,0.11490677885616267,0.0,0.0,0.057531850694483126,0.10437805644809242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941644394675129,0.048988615975452635,0.0,0.0,0.04003693685383338,0.061735444378652235,0.0,0.13302371116213482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008012930851947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355831994438864,0.0,0.05009818597481895,0.06633182783716939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060026863287644006,0.0,0.12456363161326875,0.0,0.061729190841902974,0.1272456577553924,0.0,0.1410204013707862,0.0651439341667189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050708847301530524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13495142479783034,0.0,0.05152180365737785,0.18074832744541386,0.0,0.11534993569642878,0.06827616849216585,0.0,0.04918240702536826,0.0,0.05214566810131975,0.0,0.0,0.07777260507788046,0.0532556990094868,0.0,0.056257470232673454,0.052912945272686106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17861344790556974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18194634291687,0.0,0.0922790834454266,0.0564781489958234,0.10037985209561298,0.0,0.04708761932724702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548065535970624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03946259058944679,0.0,0.0,0.058476039495526565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11684846639530536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706828191517226,0.1439726537519032,0.06641342829977583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04158506841175636,0.057526584316681076,0.0,0.051987597091110116,0.0,0.04944007062462684,0.0,0.06426888559588959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859887825486209,0.0,0.0,0.06413200335875385,0.0,0.05931024697914936,0.0,0.0,0.1783405343623237,0.0,0.2349668349327415,0.0,0.08655962108418339,0.08730995405289273,0.18163174585913,0.05686172533489895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393708515898596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13074717225987728,0.0,0.0,0.08163285658530056,0.0,0.12302343605276285,0.06462693771602115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06595333900496611,0.06262068122553432,0.0,0.0,0.07543351055963766,0.060533181554284374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05027882526571115,0.05600349245984652,0.18727866844911986,0.0,0.0,0.04691565627413468,0.0,0.0,0.13302371116213482,0.0,0.04870190858260884,0.0,0.11783479613865624,0.0,0.0,0.09064951695778012,0.058228761089656585,0.0,0.04167194262106548,0.06275278781977225,0.0,0.04922203536713232,0.0,0.0,0.06739765114777005,0.0,0.0,0.11097775403641708,0.0,0.044266582191219456,0.18928559147659216,0.154377718663945,0.0,0.0,0.06835827268953842,0.11734156126007078,0.11317393624441913,0.05784427002311916,0.0,0.1029912467994462,0.06766801295162607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03997217842028137,0.0,0.05751220225630466,0.06129082572247825,0.0,0.05084899261299666,0.06484236180784209,0.14573382398405585,0.06945185845530195,0.04673213881652313,0.09445175385005387,0.0,0.05293558711145046,0.0,0.10625084239736314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364605015437324,0.0,0.0,0.03791349200337234
bipolarreddit,the_writing_bull,2018/03/06,"Just to say “gracias” to all I so appreciate this site, on bipolar, and how good people are to one another. Right now, I’m anxious. That certain dread builds, seemingly from nowhere. When I tell “the sane” about the symptoms. They become deer in the headlights. It’s helpful to read of others’ struggles; one feels less lonely here. So, much thanks.",3.3304761904761904,6.204412841269847,3.2787301587301587,87.5857142857143,79.3174603174603,5.504761904761906,28.04761904761905,6.868970318607317,1.5302761904761897,271,12,48,3,7,82,54,63,0.131,0.674,0.195,0.6968,0,2,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,8,6,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,1,2,7,5,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,0,2,0,2,3,3,9,5,3,6,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,1,2,33,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722224459071534,0.0,0.2932840314074499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867175056873937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13126600164658286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177475311048805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17401029570958348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19084232733312048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518352617609217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17998004314781232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25967903799205994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22170448320127692,0.0,0.2064513251041056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363380868826133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27139946832270345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269832929178782,0.0,0.0,0.2269095200832881,0.23901288892184844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hoomin_here,2018/03/06,"I wasn't...until I was Hi everyone, first time poster here:
About a month ago I was diagnosed bipolar. (Doc didn't specify what type) Now I've heard this before but since the meds never worked, it couldn't have been true, right? Wrong. New doc insisted I keep changing drugs until I found one, and, I did. BAM! Smacked in the face with reality. Coinciding with some late bills and my husband seeing that I had maxed out a 5k credit card in 2yrs, frankly, it became the week from hell.

I've been depressed all my life and I've been on pristiq for years. My earliest memory is sobbing alone on the swing set at 3yrs old bc the Puff the Magic Dragon song just made me so sad. I never made the connection when my grandmother said my uncle's were manic depressive. My mother clearly is too and my mom would argue that my grandmother is a hypocondriact. Beyond that, my mother is a person who should have never had kids. I was up for adoption but she changed her mind last min. (Bad idea) My childhood was badly bizarre to say the least.

The above matters because I *never* wanted to be like my mother. Selfish. Reckless. Embarrassing. I made it my life mission to be kind, polite and ""together"", someone dependable. But I now realize that I too am a terrible, horrible person. I've been married 15yrs and he's no saint, but I don't know how my husband has put up with me?
- Sudden remodeling projects I'd do while he was at work.
- Minimalism now! or Collect all the things!
- Thinking I can suddenly learn new careers & then land a job immediately.
- Suggesting I off myself bc I bought too much cereal at the store and that alone is gonna throw us in bankruptcy surely. 

So here I am. Having a bad week at work. Wondering if my anger at other people's actions is warranted or if they notice my moods. Not trusting anything I think. Wondering when the Lamictal will start working and wondering, at what point will it become too much?

Any guidance you can suggest, if you've felt like this, is most appreciated. I don't know who I am or what I'm doing now. I'm embarrassed of my past and current self.",2.202007700770076,4.80139338118812,3.6836105610561054,84.6433476347635,81.77227722772277,6.858437843784379,24.571837183718372,8.021203637495839,1.7200448404840487,1642,63,310,33,45,540,235,404,0.193,0.743,0.063,-0.9961,2,2,1,0,0,0,67.0,1,1,1,5,18,23,3,2,19,0,41,6,1,5,9,60,63,27,0,7,12,6,1,2,0,5,5,4,1,4,18,13,0,1,12,1,4,3,10,15,0,2,22,6,45,7,28,33,7,55,2,4,1,0,26,19,2,12,34,203,63,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839582190973379,0.0,0.0,0.1961902159749827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262254619821043,0.0,0.06440874702494727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07794152660556862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372466245567649,0.057736756600419485,0.10460413782657578,0.0805946118865466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20038964185442126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16315400599675214,0.09613268515677728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983813472792024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905032565730071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909402636908329,0.0,0.0,0.0805636539276279,0.0,0.10384897868128047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692054274984364,0.0,0.0,0.09398899995502133,0.08418612778471367,0.0,0.09863002407913664,0.1041046411192,0.07720452630921652,0.10684148285460483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379855512555233,0.09254492245471696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688619436046664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10520586818990464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09563410910590196,0.11092785616273053,0.07559978669540238,0.0,0.13925133077338947,0.0,0.2921970083138395,0.1829506835584442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783248184241263,0.09938637820750787,0.0,0.06418063683494679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041520083470836,0.06566274073266178,0.16540116946208416,0.0,0.0,0.08953531527742742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09521369935073197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088521229966805,0.09009467411377224,0.07532034995175592,0.0,0.0,0.07547477089723455,0.0,0.09880732636058576,0.0,0.0,0.07834837417710745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08025083885504414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06703903498205152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08926679519994324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06292375265290906,0.12137777432868005,0.0,0.0,0.055228477186013834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392924328079307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0558647530652896,0.0,0.1519476662762785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3081397785335574,0.27581159084130996,0.0,0.0,0.06728208633564885,0.1035548570145932,0.0,0.06099269092919535
bipolarreddit,buxtoncap,2018/03/06,"Diagnosis fear My family and boyfriend have been saying for years they think I have bipolar. I have written down all of the things I have felt recently and it’s overwhelmingly scary. I don’t want a diagnosis, I don’t want to admit my mind works differently. I don’t want to admit I think about death daily. When I’m feeling high, it’s amazing, nothing can stop me and I feel I will succeed in everything. But just like that I can become extremely aggressive, overly sad (sobbing for hours) and recently it’s becoming difficult to cope with. On so many occasions I can feel myself slipping away and this angry monster coming in to replace the high, it destroys what’s around me and I have no control over it. I don’t know what to do or where to vent so here I am. ",3.2800764136525693,5.2492295496688754,4.725430463576164,81.87187468160981,74.69536423841059,8.08986245542537,28.171676006113092,8.841846274778883,2.346628731533368,606,25,117,13,13,202,92,151,0.187,0.6829999999999999,0.13,-0.916,1,0,0,0,0,1,15.0,0,0,1,3,8,10,2,2,3,0,16,1,0,1,1,28,31,11,1,3,3,0,4,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,10,9,0,2,9,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,3,5,20,3,19,27,1,18,0,3,0,0,4,11,1,1,7,84,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480285738185801,0.0,0.0,0.15622988229968984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3672966158784769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432394836684862,0.0,0.0,0.18650235041370936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17373204497982492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14944590206676914,0.0,0.1567583488657725,0.18711643702333464,0.2522355135018616,0.0,0.15965932034216868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3513776794942413,0.0,0.0,0.16375686365684405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09138568314505746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123827015980083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16858651396866253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679000724397093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15955458583713653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3283720199777727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223621081762785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390213952199089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104721184457584,0.2130969514212621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2942369466557745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12105719004159556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708184894538543
bipolarreddit,duker334,2018/03/06,"Getting a psychiatrist referral in Australia Hey guys, 

I'm on the annoying wait for a psychiatrist appointment and it's only an analysis with not guarantee she will take me as a patient. 

The positive to it is that she comes highly recommended from a GP who previously worked with her at a mental health facility, and the three months might go quickly and of course the chances are she will take me on.

However, I am still considering looking for a faster route if possible.

In regards to private health insurance, I have top Bupa cover but know its limitation for these services.",8.357999999999997,8.771828752380955,8.878809523809526,62.57535714285717,61.47619047619048,13.095238095238097,41.30952380952381,12.45797560212912,5.720809523809526,469,25,76,16,6,157,79,105,0.06,0.8740000000000001,0.066,-0.096,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,2,1,1,0,11,0,7,2,0,0,0,13,16,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,6,6,0,2,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,1,8,0,15,13,0,13,0,0,1,0,7,7,0,2,4,56,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20881335034011986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12664837064728027,0.0,0.13776626553993396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400224021599855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5153375331651686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561177568181637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332213031066544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20356198248322904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24429062645273664,0.25715697788240843,0.0,0.0,0.19348805182690612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843624921581995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732790197378606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19358764101916826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3645218590813632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764761837165683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,maw352,2018/03/06,"Father was Bi-Polar Manic, worried. Hi, so my Dad was diagnosed as bi-polar manic a few years ago and has spent his time in and out of hospitals for the past few years, It's always been in the back of my head that I could have received it too. Sometimes I feel at the top of the world and splurge on very useless things and spend a lot of my money, other days I feel the exact opposite and just want to curl up and stay in my room all night. Is the disease genetic? just worried I don't know if im just sad at the time or if what im experiencing isn't bad compared to what being bipolar is.",3.567342519685038,3.6325284409448813,5.188651574803148,86.13762303149609,71.6771653543307,7.9248031496063,26.898622047244096,7.6454224807358475,1.2930795275590548,460,14,104,5,8,157,82,127,0.086,0.866,0.048,-0.6851,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,9,0,11,3,1,0,2,21,16,11,0,4,6,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,7,7,0,0,3,0,3,1,2,3,0,0,4,3,9,0,16,10,4,22,0,2,0,0,5,11,0,4,9,71,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17679932754120367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16595737947930686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1533638163013612,0.16653141738839966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15924363785757062,0.0,0.0,0.12862797629850545,0.0,0.0,0.20243633408593084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016946125403588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20469201023539785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4308778601300408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109611844687023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695642377805026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871691881839884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19039644812554352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19725996353128755,0.0,0.0,0.2125858837655016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250492060230099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326003989267933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16456614833407734,0.11764007004183548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4050998766511686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568769765997127
bipolarreddit,throwaway_4adv1c3,2018/03/06,"My brother is manic, how do I help Hi guys, using a throwaway.  Recently my brother got into a fight with his girlfriend and I feel like he's super manic right now.  He just bought a $20,000 BMW after trading in his volkswagon, bought $1,000 of gucci stuff, traded in his phone for an iPhone X, and is just acting strangely.  He's being rude to my mom saying really hurtful things for no reason to her, I just want to see how I can help get him back to baseline.  He planned a trip with his gf to leave to Florida (which had been planned back before he started acting like this) and my mom and I feel nervous about him going.  It's not like we can force him to stay because he's 21 he's an adult but still.  All of this is really stressful for everyone involved so I wanted to see how some of you have coped with this in the past or if anyone has advice for how to help him through this. Thanks",2.9831133540372647,4.221121146739134,4.093322981366462,89.12434782608698,73.94565217391305,6.561490683229812,24.01242236024845,6.868970318607317,0.750800931677019,697,20,147,6,14,227,110,184,0.09,0.8,0.11,0.5826,0,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,1,1,0,3,13,10,2,2,7,0,11,0,0,6,1,28,25,12,0,3,7,4,2,3,2,0,0,1,0,2,8,9,0,0,3,0,4,4,2,5,0,0,5,5,21,5,26,19,2,18,0,1,2,0,34,5,0,3,11,96,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388736730031452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11011348718941702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24218437990582625,0.0,0.09599818032803456,0.0,0.1340036493372481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15047862845670812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592529641165402,0.1125035489302486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227665798384423,0.0,0.08949935837002436,0.0,0.12595092428348229,0.0,0.0,0.15592968934418686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31666602582849657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685853055692027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16674829334989374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23080992102838385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3688767075369354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033221928615798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20177109211882632,0.16191538828063548,0.15549223260152692,0.0,0.0,0.1344868269957249,0.0,0.12523420023539733,0.0,0.0,0.2509819080054516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11146496180524353,0.16785243637688188,0.12576351396096985,0.0,0.18039249600456406,0.0,0.18027661151442706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14498617519158902,0.0,0.0,0.104622533542986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13601192224184014,0.0,0.0,0.18577124710548176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thatdamnjess,2018/03/07,"Do any other women impulsively cut off their hair during episodes? I've done this a couple of good times, but I'm so upset with the most recent incident which was in October of past year. It took me so long to grow my hair out and then in a mixed episode aggravated by Klonopin withdrawal, I chopped it all off. 😭

During manic episodes, I typically will bleach my hair, you see, and in my mixed state, I felt like I should not be a blonde, my hair should be it's natural dark color to reflect my depression, or whatever. A rational person would have dyed their goddamn hair, but no, I cut it down to the roots. WHY AM I LIKE THIS? 😔",4.791200787401576,5.160363740157481,5.653218503937008,82.80691437007876,69.07874015748031,9.4996062992126,29.260826771653534,9.516144504307137,2.3355204724409453,493,17,105,10,8,162,87,127,0.18,0.72,0.1,-0.9187,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,2,0,2,7,2,1,6,0,11,5,5,1,1,16,15,8,0,3,4,0,6,2,0,4,0,0,0,2,8,4,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,4,9,15,3,14,5,2,16,0,1,3,0,5,7,0,2,8,66,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18555875535905805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3019218824681737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350197425271712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27923743514185445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619948830235656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288676941353174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26661783404739164,0.0,0.0,0.24147849801283885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604822001261633,0.0,0.2382567318723749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694230088726179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174394813685224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15911080342928388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3031650129775055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462198112593425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19383671900290173,0.0,0.0,0.17571724862831956
bipolarreddit,ginger_jamie,2018/03/07,"Does anyone else diagnosed with BiPolar feel that your doctor essentially treats you like having emotions is a “privilege” you are no longer fit for? They always give meds that basically zombify you. Joy=mania, sadness=depression. They act like you’re just not allowed to feel anything anymore because you’re a danger to yourself. It really makes me feel that there’s no way out of this constant cycle and I really just don’t want to do it anymore. Euthanasia would be so much more favorable of an option to me at this point but if you talk like that you just get sent away to be around people that make you feel even worse about yourself. What the fuck am I supposed to do?",5.4655299145299185,6.7105311769230775,5.7464102564102575,79.590811965812,68.0,8.854700854700855,29.82905982905983,9.150863307647796,2.533726495726496,543,20,99,10,9,173,91,130,0.109,0.7879999999999999,0.103,-0.5859,1,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,7,2,0,8,8,2,0,4,0,10,4,0,3,0,20,21,4,0,3,6,0,4,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,10,4,0,0,4,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,1,4,13,6,15,17,2,10,0,0,0,1,12,6,1,2,4,66,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14255812697224554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33982150042939835,0.11979610619539068,0.17554517451005885,0.1409878575201302,0.15251771531721026,0.0,0.0,0.16096773817349688,0.0,0.0,0.10443959680759957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18514406126567992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14756404418222616,0.17389371119840116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17536086033116566,0.14992976799564942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14312206389003482,0.19272027229006514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11316013617541636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465131381847539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15838942658938698,0.0895114986257718,0.16435285985091774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511057502238786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22872474845476945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19030612563829524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259453569720334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877685154471106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619597770676971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21951344740401596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377064795893497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010533433021516,0.13599172065666748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745972641478589,0.12170607396429706,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Spacemonkeye359,2018/03/07,"I hate myself So I know this has been written on before but honestly just typing shit is a better outlet than anything else. Ive been bipolar I for pretty much my whole life crazy black out fits of anger when i was like 4 suspend from school till I was misdiagnosed and placed on adhd meds. Football helped the most, just a pure outlet for all my rage. But now that im a married adult with kids I can barley function in the world anymore. My wife hates me and looks and treats me like im some sort of broken child. We havent had sex in months im 24 and buff as shit!!!  She chastises me whenever I try to discipline our kid and questions every choice I make.  AND I mean for anything like asking my kid not to stand on the counter. I cant fucking do this shit anymore Im suspicious of everyone arround me I day dream of just beating peoples skulls in for fun or anything to make my life have some kind of excitement. Pretty much just smoke pot all day for a chance to feel something like anything. But I live in the most conservative state in the country and pot is keeping me from holding a job. Im fucking bored of living not suicidal just bored to the point of depression taking Lamotrigine 100 mg does nothing but make me go to sleep and antipsychotics make me feel like im dazed and loopy , but their great at night when my thoughts are racing so fast that i wont sleep at all. 
Does anyone else just feel like there is really nothing wrong with us and we are just meant to do way more with our lives maybe that is just the grandiose shit they talk about but I honestly feel like im capable of doing anything I want in the world and its other people that get in my way? Every person ive met that is bipolar is usually super rational in their choices but that could just be because we see the world as black and white and have almost no concept of grey. Anything can be rationalized to a right and wrong choice. Anyways I dont want anyones fucking pitty ""I like myself"" I just Hate that I cant trust myself to be a functioning human anymore.  ",3.5912180656934325,5.114537150851582,4.262371502433092,87.37961564781023,72.86861313868613,7.0839720194647215,26.46905413625304,7.6454224807358475,1.3636915450121665,1623,56,329,20,32,517,201,411,0.16399999999999998,0.652,0.184,0.8013,1,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,6,0,3,3,18,36,12,0,16,0,32,15,7,4,4,71,61,29,1,3,20,1,4,8,0,1,4,0,0,7,11,21,0,4,9,1,0,1,8,18,0,0,9,10,48,18,47,47,11,36,0,1,6,4,23,21,7,8,18,205,59,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814221621509727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510881404308329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934491148060561,0.0909279358778158,0.06662136557876193,0.3210388536476728,0.0,0.060785554210244765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03963600013066092,0.0,0.05532780563642741,0.0,0.0,0.05750550340710218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05191371840446523,0.0,0.0,0.0838659130164977,0.0,0.05600221231476429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380006215100798,0.0,0.07620374714110596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863286179659208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095654464291448,0.06213004159861112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13150562823091294,0.13935235016523298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18033169961075832,0.03397061918730602,0.0,0.036952748145085416,0.0,0.0,0.07168552400328812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19258336660418068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04358198804124888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4916344080967706,0.0,0.06452298732815982,0.05779336367936028,0.0,0.06770902761897342,0.03573366267835211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09185205163395173,0.2541265408372812,0.0,0.17224334243205505,0.0,0.05460099133221128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17360722248554214,0.0,0.06532200765865327,0.07082657680841639,0.07222331233776058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05189888264896292,0.0,0.0955953553630803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06101749909824729,0.0,0.124778183034172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015429869991788,0.05677354566157777,0.06793276668813872,0.0,0.06146555464823419,0.0,0.0,0.1322988041623937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283803695755192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04165390951295928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05552730139425404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06580439463844011,0.051813059916889344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669711550765422,0.0,0.0,0.1301352648026929,0.0,0.0,0.0500560924281472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112206543790706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04888745586308787,0.05226115582436984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051619153266446685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044144770423694336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07821186653790671,0.0,0.07161108773308546,0.0,0.07670175777691922,0.10322077109597304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259326189142352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14217980253262674,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,wellshitbasically,2018/03/07,"Prescribed medicine above max dose...Normal? I have been taking Geodon for a while for hallucinations. Varying dosages that go up once it doesn't work anymore. It's been pretty effective, but they have come back recently.
However, my dosage was just bumped to 180mg, where 160mg is listed as the max dose. Is this kind of thing normal?",3.2819585253456225,6.179990467741938,3.0900921658986182,88.68370967741936,79.80645161290323,6.123502304147466,23.37327188940092,7.447530270364453,1.0999465437788023,267,9,50,4,7,80,53,62,0.0,0.922,0.078,0.5439,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,2,3,1,0,0,2,0,8,1,0,1,0,5,11,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,0,3,1,6,8,0,7,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,29,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3240712482521801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512684516417781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814862124410161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857127632204296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402840450382117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3201683954237013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3480028366924592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3324458629611323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3226491530403524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456928096255357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21709362115268005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378948111292165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,mattsulli,2018/03/07,"A tiered approach to medication Lately I’ve read a lot about medications people are being prescribed and their feelings towards them and I want to share my feelings on this. I am not a doctor. 

Bipolar patients need mood stabilizers. Lithium or lamictal. That is what treats your mood disorder and for the most part what you will always need. Other symptoms, either bipolar in nature or created by the mood stabilizer, get treated by other secondary meds. Insomnia? Probably seroquel. Psychotic features? Probably abilify. Tremors? Gabapentin. Anxiety? Stay the fuck away from benzos even if they try to give them to you. 

Is this generally the consensus? I feel like in the mental health community people just think drugs are drugs and maybe something will work eventually. That feels sad from my perspective. I do 1800mg Li along with 10g seroquel to sleep as needed, 25mg bupropion as needed during seasonal depression, and 40mg propranolol for performance anxiety when I need to perform. It’s a lot of drugs, but it’s really just the lithium at the core of it. 

Thoughts? ",4.207783687943266,7.538217792553191,4.913936170212768,73.78416666666669,81.18085106382979,8.452482269503546,31.76950354609929,8.959647251330699,3.85122269503546,867,45,130,25,24,278,127,188,0.067,0.899,0.033,-0.7319,0,0,4,0,0,0,25.0,0,3,4,3,5,10,1,0,11,0,9,13,1,0,0,31,24,12,0,7,8,0,4,1,0,2,11,0,0,0,11,7,0,0,6,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,4,14,4,25,20,5,11,0,2,0,1,9,6,1,6,4,89,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079400000296812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853358428955537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11381029301188812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433337323965404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13883117169802214,0.12398677600598094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4214343265372338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000850606168095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449979246572337,0.08653884766726834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119873289807528,0.06328802281828694,0.1162037023643443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876080991562794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13664552384168227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059180428190620325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059692414639789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169636027070045,0.0,0.1345536451379278,0.2440614789847484,0.12207555977402082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4491002314433679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117736935054822,0.0,0.16795947350347776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612079741977452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12116775209686945,0.0,0.07760216442307613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12122245348083373,0.0,0.0,0.0932556189900314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12911376183523507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12590561688428034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07761839836335227,0.0,0.09616763626752728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224269397264307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144854454407934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08818770178294606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,recklessdaughter1970,2018/03/07,"Can't Pinpoint Moods/Feelings... Hi everyone,

I'm very new here so please forgive me if this has already been discussed...

I was recently diagnosed and prescribed Lamictal (this happened two days ago). I've been seeing a counselor for some other issues and she recommended going to psychiatrist.

My therapist/psychiatrist recommend keeping track of my moods. This seems so easy...So I write down how I'm feeling or rate how I'm feeling. I've been trying to do this for the past month. I have found it so hard to identify my emotions/moods/feelings.

I sit down and either use an app (Dayio, Evernote...) or a physical notebook to start my journaling. I get in my own head so much that I can't seem to figure out how I am feeling. Lately, it feels like I am making it all up. I overthink it all so much that I think ""Oh nevermind...I'm fine"" and just move on with my day. I guess my question is...how do others track their moods/feelings? 

Are there are tips that you have for someone recently diagnosed and feeling like they have still made it all up (even though, logically, I haven't)? Have other experienced this?

Thanks a bunch!",3.6358312838170193,5.83354232242991,4.5727250368912955,82.33934333497297,74.37383177570094,7.869749139203148,29.02016724053124,8.6894789155246,2.417592523364486,883,38,165,18,19,286,127,214,0.009000000000000001,0.856,0.134,0.9629,0,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,0,1,2,0,14,6,0,0,5,0,18,3,1,6,3,38,41,17,0,1,5,0,6,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,16,7,0,1,13,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,6,8,24,5,17,35,9,21,0,0,1,0,9,7,0,8,13,112,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168959071068277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13904188380604834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16251652341127076,0.0,0.0,0.2557705576539516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08322046534725246,0.0,0.0,0.120396451869756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5096668417572432,0.18002593794047295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381502615150445,0.0,0.0,0.06582873458210797,0.0,0.07160754522341163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13880095988077473,0.0,0.11141958136240196,0.0,0.11286942510640592,0.0,0.12931025905407026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315091366526189,0.0,0.11199277756107197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421311888133131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12311247930754347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192223178057541,0.08410461778400709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10057037088930032,0.13391589311282534,0.18524599863137065,0.0,0.0,0.12168961649360527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12027931135062572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830792540148135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14114655302344822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488155732216351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004040624149204,0.22940762424667435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675766401759032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918200575578777,0.0,0.10062213492283004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11600199471685177,0.0,0.14629334475452044,0.0,0.08073440624334144,0.12379235758338294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554434522922569,0.0,0.12308170030108025,0.0,0.0,0.10882178431479926,0.0,0.10396151392591134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cogniztherapper,2018/03/07,"questions about hypomania symptoms in general i'm really shy, i have anxiety disorder too, and as a result whenever i'm hypomanic i don't have that ""talkativeness"" symptom. i don't have anyone to talk to, and i've never approached strangers. HOWEVER i do sing, a lot, all through the night. would this be the equivalent? can anxiety override hypomania? 

i find it pretty hard to figure out my symptoms given that i'm never around other people. it's like my symptoms never reach their full potential because there's no external stimulation. does that make sense? sorry if this has been asked before.",4.090555555555554,7.1532776851851825,5.510740740740744,71.58333333333336,77.7037037037037,8.785185185185185,31.222222222222214,9.2995712137729,3.8100777777777792,482,24,73,14,12,161,76,108,0.14800000000000002,0.797,0.055,-0.6941,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,4,0,11,4,0,3,4,18,17,4,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,3,1,0,1,6,0,0,0,2,1,8,1,9,13,3,9,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,3,5,52,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424590726543101,0.0,0.0,0.11080629257153493,0.0,0.0,0.14107238642812514,0.14814857147959426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660217587574052,0.0,0.13484676539735965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18162097854101214,0.0,0.13867864545289785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14483921096358848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195848522738308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742070564552968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347259939050518,0.0,0.0,0.10578032208447967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3666667706524797,0.0,0.0,0.14871387526379132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986352545985686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612215196502549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17752328270818865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015202916393768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739480556975287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6588463113189603,0.0,0.1273726246284346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11257293135575763,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,suicideDenver,2018/03/07,"I'm Manic and Stable and Doing it. Well the title says most of it. I'm Manic right now but I'm also stable and know I'll get through. Life is normal, I talked with my doc and got a sleep aid. I'll make it and life will continue. I never thought I'd be here, but here I am, and it's a wonderful place to be.",-0.8354728370221309,0.660804084507042,2.3262776659959776,96.4498591549296,85.61971830985915,5.183903420523139,15.77665995975855,6.18269132825596,-0.6667199195171031,234,4,60,2,7,84,45,71,0.0,0.833,0.16699999999999998,0.875,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,0,6,3,1,1,1,16,15,9,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,4,1,4,10,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,2,3,36,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.225597332179806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14738695526682485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256232046618855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15503620094926376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3985147915819582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18830566344251168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175749016119668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27640063342256244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947371547692524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409140628717353,0.0,0.22433929525425625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28230631220401897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267433688272964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239579382243368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25364409956127915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30592821550571897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,berfica,2018/03/08,"Latuda... what to expect? This is my second meds switch in a week and a half, from Zoloft, to Effexor, and now Latuda.(Zoloft didn't work, and Effexor caused heart problems)

My pdoc said Latuda shouldn't cause akethisia, or weight gain. I'm super prone to akathisia, and I am wondering about other people's experiences

<3",6.771379310344829,8.313893206896553,5.73051724137931,79.80370689655173,65.20689655172413,9.248275862068963,28.29310344827586,9.516144504307137,2.4694000000000007,258,8,45,5,4,77,47,58,0.0,0.87,0.13,0.8074,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,2,0,4,3,1,2,0,11,7,5,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,2,2,2,3,1,6,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,2,26,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5500949334006546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619056033934486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172786503556181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974039014762947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856203994274336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561954307508308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25468643569677185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147685749297375,0.3260408024825503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29035760682886563,0.19492126389880474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,maria21j,2018/03/08,Need a friend Hi everyone.it has been a long time that i am looking for a bipolar man to be friend with.i am not looking for anything more than penpal but i really need someone who understands me and has the same feelings.please let me know if you are interested.,11.1346,8.063870060000003,10.208000000000002,66.40400000000002,58.4,14.0,43.0,12.161744961471696,5.0894,213,9,38,5,2,68,40,50,0.0,0.8440000000000001,0.156,0.775,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,0,8,1,0,0,0,9,14,3,0,3,3,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,5,3,4,11,2,2,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,1,2,29,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201486830739183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41337530345017903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702367686648138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27356045301810594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367494887109876,0.44930398422772505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3967299168780304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2936599830601931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17138212188276575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266714197031516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559948470371661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27850093907430035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,vviktoriaa,2018/03/08,"Hypomanic and leaving the country I have been stable for a long period of time, without medication.
My doctor has been wondering if I really am bipolar or if it has always been my ADHD that has been the problem

Lyrica basically saved my life, I was in a constant state of anxiety and it really helped me, but after 2 years things started to go so fats in my head, I lost a lot of weight, excelled at work and college and took on to many responsibilities and I crashed a couple of weeks ago.

They put me on concerta and it seems so calm my head, but I'm still feeling tingly inside and I'm horny as fuck(sorry) i sleep around 7-8 hours, I don't  feel I'm better than anybody else and I can listen in a conversation, but I'm  wondering if the lyrica and concerta are pushing me into a hypomanic episode
I get these intrusive thoughts, but ofc I don't act on them

I am leaving the country in 2 days for a school trip to Girona and I'm afraid I won't be able to go:((

Does anybody have any advice on what I should do, can I do something to calm myself down before the trip? My doctor thinks it's fine, but she's not a psychiatrist

I've been known to ovethink a lot, I have a hard time getting out of my head and into the reality, but I need advice 
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bipolarreddit,RoyalJokerJester,2018/03/08,"I'm just not sure anymore Ive been subscribed to Bipolar Reddit for a couple of years now but this is the first time I've posted. I realized that I felt different from everyone around 14 or 15 years old and got a full diagnoses at 21. I take 10mg Trintellix every day to help stabilize, I have Bipolar II. I'm 24 years old. 

I use to be so sure of myself and now I just don't know anymore. I thought I was on the right track but when I begin to reflect I realize I feel I lost my way.

I have a stable job, I'm in college,  I have a girlfriend who lives with me, and I'm sober for the most part  (no more hard drugs). I just feel so lost to the wind. I feel like I've let control go to life. Like I'm a plastic sack blowing around aimlessly. I feel like the things around me control my life more than I do.

I know this is gonna just get buried in this sub but I needed to vent. I feel like I do everything the way I'm supposed to do but it just isn't enough. The best thing I've ever done or most perfect isn't good enough. Not for me or anyone else. I can't afford therapy plus I live in eastern Texas so therapy isn't very extensive in my area.

I want to quit but I know I'm way to strong of a human being to do that. I only want to feel like I'm on the right track. I want to feel like I'm doing the right thing. I feel like I am sad but I can't exhibit the emotion. I just feel frustrated, anxious, and blank. I don't know what I want from posting this other than some else to try to understand because everyone else around me seems to not have a grasp on what I feel or I'm going through. 

I love you all that are going through anything difficult right now. Please know that you aren't alone. I suffer just like you. I'd love to talk to you if you'd like to talk. Just never give up because you aren't the only one. This sub has taught me I'm not alone. Thank you if you've made it this far. I just want to feel connected.",0.29238265071330005,2.0008457877358516,2.4139254486884494,96.17520708697654,82.86792452830188,5.8346985734008285,20.247123791992635,6.914303735213361,0.15305494707777267,1490,42,364,18,41,502,178,424,0.087,0.736,0.177,0.9893,3,2,1,0,0,0,38.0,0,7,0,9,21,24,1,0,18,0,31,8,0,4,6,78,85,21,0,8,25,0,13,9,1,1,6,0,0,1,19,10,0,2,24,0,0,3,15,6,0,2,10,13,55,18,47,70,11,43,0,4,0,2,16,20,0,10,24,220,74,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13859747369548994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558942482094368,0.13271377995720113,0.046785132951432204,0.06855735623860765,0.05506135272759531,0.238256878797916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157561338542944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021807489651202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15009084648922089,0.0,0.07403480885048971,0.0,0.043151511718494594,0.0,0.0,0.06791239428571831,0.0,0.06990686614802193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06847231464518784,0.0,0.0,0.07759453198550845,0.0,0.1676845349995931,0.07526491342565718,0.0,0.13827214330507462,0.0,0.0,0.06052406178411124,0.05637468758730715,0.12787103230298727,0.060134528856580514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3721496075641443,0.2868037492167723,0.06424423736991222,0.0,0.0,0.056913739813971125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03495779200918474,0.06418631325572373,0.11407974138190498,0.05612105968883092,0.05351415969437057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05993835233373013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04484846345874262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639799994201838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18386034425050812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842016216328306,0.09452123609911804,0.2942002778437212,0.0,0.11816577744249765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608066648073398,0.0,0.12077804630287893,0.06331200220031655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04961302876264805,0.05160523292716381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14042189485189802,0.0,0.045340049610963364,0.10177636904797706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245717261913656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344725248175962,0.0,0.0,0.12816285696453367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07116718116463412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285636116632213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06091248802400756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261240499493865,0.0,0.05030810608711645,0.1075596888825974,0.0,0.061601876896239686,0.15303517669389133,0.0,0.13335639256717804,0.0,0.0,0.05311918554175093,0.03901584681983628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045427600075696406,0.0,0.0,0.06965582635889647,0.0,0.0577888869700235,0.0,0.05520788154068136,0.1973267016653581,0.15933048911053052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12926382951361212
bipolarreddit,xxpandamoniumxx,2018/03/08,"Brain zaps Hey all I’ve been getting really bad brain zaps recently. Like constant zap zap zap. I take Wellbutrin and my dose just went up, so that could be why. Does anyone else experience this? Should I be concerned? 

Side note I also recently have tinnitus. I heard the two are related..",1.831666666666664,4.641932814814819,2.9943518518518566,85.61708333333334,91.22222222222223,7.144444444444447,23.41666666666667,8.07648339933343,2.021933333333334,228,9,42,6,8,73,44,54,0.077,0.8759999999999999,0.047,-0.3925,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,7,3,2,0,1,5,11,3,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,3,1,5,1,1,4,1,6,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,4,22,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17836916441676154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15595838864081332,0.2285361638182573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18623342389308956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4979844133348049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410326209961777,0.0,0.17808344140997154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951883560201404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18632564256162945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181810028578516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653191020858805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10896861739252277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288846536581956,0.0,0.4404604496991604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16770223072920834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178827489068002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20676513332588786,0.20126359891446235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,_grottesca,2018/03/08,"Does Depakote give you anxiety? I started Depakote about two weeks ago.  Zero side effects, felt like taking nothing - no drowsiness or anything.  

But the last two or three days have been the worst anxiety and panic attacks I’ve had in years.  Ones that last hours and involve extreme dissociation / dysphoria.  At 23 I can honestly say I haven’t had my panic attacks and OCD flare up this bad since childhood when I had no coping mechanisms .  

I almost checked myself into the damn hospital just because I wanted someone ELSE to deal with my crazy ass lol wishing to be sedated so the terror and intrusive thoughts and obsessions would go away and give me some peace.  Lasted at least five hours.  None of my usual mind tricks / coping tricks were working, just kept getting stuck in that OCD/anxiety panic loop, unable to break free or calm down.  Scared for literally no reason and then scared wondering if that means I’m going crazy (because fear of insanity is one of my OCD obsessions).

My sister finally talked me down over the phone but this is H E L L.  It’s like being a scared kid who doesn’t know what to do about this feeling, but all over again and I’m an adult.  

I’m wondering if anyone thinks it could be the Depakote?  My anxiety and OCD were at high functioning levels for years until two weeks of Depakote.  Can’t see the doctor until the 23rd because he’s on vacation so I’m asking y’all until
I can ask him.",4.984483394833951,6.533092789667897,5.500404059040594,79.76145479704797,69.44280442804428,8.372029520295204,29.78616236162361,8.841846274778883,2.4749511439114387,1130,44,203,20,20,363,166,271,0.17,0.75,0.08,-0.9606,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,2,0,2,8,22,5,10,10,1,20,2,1,2,1,40,46,24,0,6,10,1,2,2,0,1,1,1,0,2,10,11,0,1,10,0,2,2,7,17,0,8,10,4,19,6,29,31,5,40,0,0,1,1,17,16,2,9,23,128,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08611425115235204,0.0,0.09727789369826996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972663302086108,0.0,0.0,0.06792688678580634,0.0,0.07994305107315552,0.0,0.18163717978158386,0.2210356701801082,0.09127205945445947,0.0,0.08111302515220065,0.17765827856042712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07756334153298823,0.0,0.0,0.06265126689244234,0.10015347387345502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943325943289304,0.08501330051455831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115319052651644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931649127238913,0.04912004124090613,0.0,0.09327559340264538,0.10641892143976912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05075488366260945,0.18638298787120908,0.1104208564922689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264030152774453,0.0,0.0,0.191338890815934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053389014844816535,0.2375613742228977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949214595166792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582069894902983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808997592873196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321440578712957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316575682272362,0.0,0.0,0.3419404282356841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998824806056606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07725456307152917,0.2917809018843245,0.0,0.07741294951927782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803603464175887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231166604830145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876058541406994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730418577657004,0.07808244145666242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06224736693578151,0.0,0.0771232371230934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846931854045727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10699282243886317,0.0,0.057299349935604024,0.0,0.1558496551785971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171334388582732,0.0,0.21070183530139744,0.07072359579501676,0.0,0.0,0.06900987828297099,0.0,0.0,0.12511794465399875
bipolarreddit,just_being_jen,2018/03/08,"Realizations In a very bad depression now. And I don't know if it's the depression or what, but I'm am realizing most of my family and friends treat me like shit and really take me for granted. My husband, my kids, hell even my mom. Starting to realize my support system isn't that great. That only makes my depression worse!",2.890520833333333,5.128537843750003,4.795000000000002,79.68333333333338,76.8125,9.266666666666666,27.854166666666664,9.725611199111238,3.001747916666667,258,11,50,8,6,88,51,64,0.348,0.474,0.179,-0.9585,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,11,2,0,2,0,3,1,1,1,0,11,9,6,0,1,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,9,5,4,9,1,4,1,3,0,0,4,1,2,3,3,31,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916287727493621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5930221725396381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15158722025074808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163587901039153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17731655208115196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25303229656437914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261310544615053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212553569928096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15319771605374932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687958445760195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17455042847350125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14702807200607865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.235585654930708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16244624795711274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26044184320399644,0.0,0.0,0.17256071434533207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189367325012304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23388725774005675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,daredevil699,2018/03/08,"I feel lost So Here’s the situation. I was completely manic for about a year, didn’t realize it of course so my life got completely fucked. Lost friends, my place, and most of family won’t talk to me anymore because they feel that I’m a drug addict. I’m not. I moved recently, and got back on one medication. But Im struggling to make sense of things. My mentals are still fairly unpredictable, some days start really well, I feel stable and I can be productive. But then I fall into full mania or crippling depression again, all within a matter of hours. So does anyone have some suggestions on how I can start to rebuild my life and stay stable? Cause I feel very alone, and very scared that I’m gonna get my life more fucked than it currently is ",3.576666666666668,5.3196313513513545,4.528108108108111,84.56531531531532,73.32432432432431,8.446846846846848,24.495495495495497,9.075114841892004,1.8349711711711707,592,18,119,13,12,192,99,148,0.17,0.753,0.077,-0.9474,1,1,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,2,10,9,2,2,4,0,9,8,0,3,1,23,27,13,0,0,4,0,4,0,1,2,6,0,0,0,5,6,0,0,5,0,0,2,3,7,1,1,6,4,15,2,14,18,6,20,0,3,0,2,4,6,2,4,11,73,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14653125399951653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13921251292734094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333027097486651,0.09398549269546404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335617756542248,0.0,0.08193761278741407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380803489211871,0.0,0.0,0.2818613390763318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0866860011625264,0.0,0.11577070271366945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762672061982182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558777299340496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12671368961471008,0.0,0.271855313599488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384803193422493,0.2485274149307591,0.07022584095121621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150065351008132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13237085325171127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14519033789919614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848220487322974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2934578261587103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972248288314859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13540810600698006,0.13545783961896762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14286095988752934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09108250062999394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14043416878900986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610914061721013,0.0,0.13271774842833925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13457200391159052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108712625403045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19027804169939588,0.14326758997177114,0.10734330665962813,0.0,0.0,0.14051884464769854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803699504601152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08929878267473759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22181148668147205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208544552790162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655829988521592
bipolarreddit,r33bad33ni,2018/03/09,"Meds and memory Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum, and was diagnosed with BP2 less than a year ago. I'm on a medicine regimen that is working really well for my mood, however my body has adjusted to it and my memory attention and focus are still no where near where they were pre-treatment. Which I'm a biochem student and I have finals in less than two months so this isn't ideal. 


Currently im on 100mg seroquel (I don't think this is effecting my memory very much, it's the first thing the started me on, tbh if it is this id rather have the sleep)

And 100mg lamictal (I'm pretty sure this is the culprit, but idk if stopping it and trying to find something else while school is on session would be safer or riskier in terms of cognative abilities)

They had me on buspar but i stopped taking that within a few weeks of school starting because it was just impossible. And stopping that helped a lot and then he raised my lamictal and it's still better than it was but not where it needs to be.
I'd really rather not take amphetamines, but if anyone has had similar problems with these or could suggest something that's helped them so I could do some research and bring it up with my doc in a few weeks thatd be wonderful.

---also side note I think the lamictal was making me anemic so I doubled up on my iron and B vitamins, so im not sure it might still be due to some level of anemia",2.762793427230047,4.514340654929583,4.2320422535211275,85.7974061032864,75.54929577464789,7.972769953051642,25.91784037558686,8.72156446121922,1.8836741784037556,1102,40,227,23,24,366,150,284,0.065,0.86,0.075,0.7164,2,0,2,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,3,5,15,7,0,0,11,0,29,4,2,2,2,53,43,28,0,11,15,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,23,15,0,3,7,0,0,1,6,1,1,2,7,0,19,5,28,27,10,40,0,0,0,0,8,18,0,10,21,162,42,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10911237057511493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843549079002822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860677941665448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503487388991001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886361342979822,0.0,0.13672588342190725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19655562119256634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249343456778935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282638331739492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761832225145147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13483971162679015,0.11250255835796537,0.10470078280299508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16501003964913175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659178934725572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10464720769190283,0.0,0.0,0.08216391665807443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13672588342190725,0.0,0.0,0.13057965146145742,0.0,0.0,0.09824972504174924,0.0,0.09048573784544306,0.09127010394424327,0.0,0.11888164730040407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12522736973189105,0.0,0.11778105944200415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577099524181733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491484729448097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317947258692374,0.0,0.0,0.18952228127894472,0.0,0.0,0.17424828936590994,0.0,0.2949008838844888,0.3087277046269303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23202282617778705,0.0,0.1850975917546084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177591058096632,0.15774294446121162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357042261382444,0.0,0.1202416089880271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156261797411208,0.0,0.0,0.1974716739946534,0.0,0.1106732122453008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13348648119571424,0.08961140681741549,0.0,0.0,0.08744001500092523,0.0,0.0,0.07926629657692237
bipolarreddit,MoodyAssBitch,2018/03/09,"Hypomanic rage Looking back at every argument I've ever had with my partner, I blame about 85% of them on being untreated and hypomanic and irritable and full of rage. And no matter what I started the argument for, it always ended the same way, I would get angry at my partner for not talking and thinking as fast as I was; the reason for the argument completely forgotten, my anger just grabbing at straws until I was essentially getting angry at my self for having such debilitating racing thoughts and flight of ideas, but I was directing it all at my poor wonderful partner. 

I'm curious as to what other bipolar 2 people feel in regards to anger, irritability, and rages. I know for a fact that when I get snippy, I'm hypomanic and probably going to try and start an argument. Hypomania in me is not the fun ""happy, high"" that it can be, sure I'm up there in energy and a little bit excited but I am not elated, I am angry. How about you guys? ",9.259303278688524,6.939252327868854,10.483162568306014,60.64638319672135,61.24043715846994,13.740163934426231,40.36133879781421,12.38480682065935,5.097350273224045,748,32,131,21,8,266,111,183,0.263,0.6559999999999999,0.081,-0.9881,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,1,0,9,9,5,0,8,0,12,1,0,2,4,32,27,18,0,1,6,0,2,0,3,1,1,0,0,5,8,11,0,0,7,0,1,1,4,5,0,0,5,3,18,4,28,19,4,23,0,0,1,0,8,13,0,1,8,100,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16140006940813298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915233461385366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211766958227014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20337573307609605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17180143352291782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17545859064107586,0.1634296003989699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807796605790432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040267657382648,0.0,0.11023863927576064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19206256993404802,0.0,0.20648657910106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049418476674204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21897054244397754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660182388963872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944106934502759,0.0,0.0,0.16288745194100254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13447561700307809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20913439869551967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19943530777134486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20235488236565494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745884649928431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18281611806722345,0.0,0.0,0.15590717860650488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428929185094614,0.0,0.15399193570984313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169411388679433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539657795671712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103541337605704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13779199546479207,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,smashit79,2018/03/09,What to tell? I recently got a new therapist after seeing someone else for 2ish years. Do I tell the new therapist about past drug problems or leave that out? I’m honestly just not sure how switching therapists works. ,4.17625,6.964816124999999,4.535,80.36,75.25,9.0,30.0,9.516144504307137,3.3572500000000005,175,8,30,5,4,55,35,40,0.151,0.7759999999999999,0.073,-0.3009,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,7,4,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,2,2,5,3,0,7,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,6,16,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164284572629077,0.0,0.15590319011820672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14926292778641348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19761139991933327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36049168438476303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17815690769189393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1785771541320392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18427197750381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14871782253060822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15812873452808573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17589405371626954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262410318180889,0.0,0.0,0.6500661574639267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358669219230635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018188432294626
bipolarreddit,violetvioletviolent,2018/03/09,"I feel beyond awful right now BUT... ... I gotta hang on to the little piece of me still here: the “real me,” what I’ve been calling the “control centre” of my brain, that part that can view this like a third party would, and who knows 95% of the thoughts in my head right now are bullshit. 

But... if a human has 2000 thoughts a day (I read that number somewhere recently), that would mean I’m being tormented with 1900 BULLSHIT THOUGHTS PER DAY... and ALL 1900 of those thoughts, somehow, some way, point out to me that I should be dead. 

HOWEVER... sure, all I can THINK about is being dead but goddamn it, I also have to remember that I’m not actually DOING anything towards it!! Keep remembering that!! 

...but ya... That. Is. ALL. I. Can. Think. About. Right. Now.  And this constant fucking torture of me BY ME is... utterly exhausting.


",1.7094585091420562,4.236254474683545,2.770042194092828,90.83694796061887,83.36708860759494,5.536427566807316,23.967651195499297,6.937597516519254,0.9347963431786216,629,24,126,8,18,200,98,158,0.161,0.8,0.039,-0.9741,1,0,0,0,0,1,53.0,0,1,0,1,10,5,2,0,7,1,17,4,2,1,4,34,31,9,2,4,6,0,1,1,0,4,1,0,0,1,15,5,0,2,11,1,0,1,1,3,0,1,5,2,15,2,17,19,6,20,0,0,1,1,4,10,1,3,9,94,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.14193934106529438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631723230647985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969390341621985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16237158726474188,0.14852188682081466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15718102095463715,0.16313583296997275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1876079180782212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07354447188548721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13446724463937385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14927484281642672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928366542065048,0.0,0.0,0.07993614830230619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106008499174711,0.1457802639407365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584389430902677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15750942161180828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749835095469526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14549051139895508,0.16555525229605916,0.0,0.0,0.14361546351634807,0.0,0.3295355984566848,0.3726434627509029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615747647816613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370859877688629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863984480429047,0.0,0.461887864995813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1154523528762796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20664864788331064,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,turkishhhh,2018/03/09,"Substituting Geodon for Indica Strains Hello, 

       I am currently on 125mg Lamictal when i wake up then 40mg Geodon before bed.

 I have gone from 240lbs (lithium as mood stabilizer) to instead 215lbs on lamictal (mood stabilizer). So, in trying to get back to the weight I was before medication, 180lbs, I will experiment if Indica Cannibis can produce similar, or better, sleep effects as Geodon. 

If anyone has tried or is in a state where they can try please comment.

My guess is a couple hits off a indica was vape pen and a small edible and you will be counting sheep within an hour. 

Keep in mind I will be continuing on the Lamictal mood stabilizer (studied to cause weight loss) and only seek to eliminate/lessen my dosage of Geodon (said to have low risk of weight gain, which for me is 45 pounds). 


Thanks for reading

Also, I have tried up too 200 mg of CBD oil which was advertised as a alternative for anti psychotics with no success. When i took them in place of the Geodon I would only nap for a few hours in what felt like a shallow, half awake sleep. I would not recommend spending 80 dollars on a 30, 30mg capsules from Wildflower CBD.com (which was recommended by high times so i assume it is legit) they simply do not help you stay asleep. 

I would try the indica strain canabis for myself but live in a state that is dragging their heels with there medical Marijuana program. 
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bipolarreddit,MyDamnCoffee,2018/03/09,"Quick question: should I take my seroquel now or not? My daughter went to sleep really early and I'm afraid she might wake up after I've taken my seroquel already. It takes about an hour to work. I've never tried to stay awake after I've taken it so i don't know what to expect if I did. Would i hallucinate?

And if I did skip it tonight is there a chance I could withdrawal tomorrow?

Thank you in advance!",0.7128571428571426,3.0763331428571448,2.5764761904761926,91.55185714285713,86.61904761904762,5.2647619047619045,20.304761904761907,6.742157984588678,0.3867419047619047,320,10,67,4,10,106,60,84,0.0,0.915,0.085,0.6632,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,2,5,2,0,1,2,0,8,2,2,0,1,14,16,6,0,6,4,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,5,0,11,1,9,7,0,14,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,5,9,45,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937361221830127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125229789929205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621335689625285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14628550364210344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282374794025944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2052943368536458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981823894333857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17052165031650354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26637211702333025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837123411492025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4002682941900269,0.0,0.0,0.2450626757988455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18071866947205886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467514202239893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19378212653532487,0.0,0.0,0.1890865532965494,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sivvus,2018/03/10,"Hands shaking - coordination awful - how to cope? Hi everyone, first post so I’m sorry if I’m doing this wrong. 

I’m teetering on the edge of a massive down at the moment while my pills even out (just upped dosage) and alongside the other crap I always get really bad problems with my hands and coordination. I feel like I can’t close my hands properly, as if all the heaviness goes into them, and when I try to concentrate on them they just go shaky. My shrink says it’s a normal symptom of depression (lack of coordination) which is fine; my problem is that I’m a piano teacher and every time this happens it makes it almost impossible to demonstrate exercises for my students, or convince them that good technique pays off. Not to mention I keep dropping/breaking things. 

Has anyone found a way to work around this? It doesn’t help me to have “proof” that I’m useless/bad at my job/clumsy when I’m in a down, and like I said I’m definitely heading there this weekend. 

Thank you xxx 

Edit: I should have said, this is a symptom that I had before I started taking lamictal, but I agree that it could have made it worse. ",5.433374836173002,6.115189178899082,6.234233289646134,78.10064220183487,67.76146788990826,8.797378768020971,30.70904325032765,8.841846274778883,2.414552031454784,883,33,168,14,14,291,137,218,0.111,0.807,0.081,-0.7389,1,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,4,2,9,14,1,2,10,1,13,9,5,3,2,33,33,15,0,8,7,0,4,2,0,1,4,3,0,0,19,10,0,1,2,2,1,2,3,8,0,1,5,7,23,6,24,26,2,25,0,1,0,0,11,13,1,5,10,111,42,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342026176788845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12748513551820065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10712979440200884,0.0,0.0,0.13639167418302547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558521998890126,0.0,0.0,0.13037261618936366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12232777365115605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13196176584059194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10119546042008266,0.0,0.129088201950291,0.14640118063587018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746888114789968,0.10945509377667073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13032253753023698,0.0,0.16798967973604725,0.0,0.0,0.08004724651696228,0.0,0.08707423682622162,0.12850743829944108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354853735644652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572403031804103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269515904911032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15203983902059792,0.13618237583420034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497038495879557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14497344243823104,0.10227058313834174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15011579281874546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14673529442395492,0.0,0.0,0.2932074838134365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981518984035778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914804871937432,0.12184078867867842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17150893336137096,0.10844464875299284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3184930577320569,0.11519678842127234,0.0,0.0,0.14105755376441634,0.0,0.0,0.10178762651478884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933948424531253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10402128089147723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12161301011371906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115405789283735,0.0,0.1561367026471269,0.0,0.1675138984118816,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PhDsurvey123,2018/03/10,"We are investigating social anxiety, perfectionism, and thinking styles, and we are interested in your insight. Hi everyone, I'm a PhD candidate in clinical psychology and I'm currently conducting a survey on social anxiety, perfectionism, and thinking styles. I would love to hear from you! The survey is open to anyone aged 18+. It should take about 30 mins to complete, and you have the option to enter a 1 of 4 $50 Visa gift card draw at the end.

Link to the survey: https://qualtrics.flinders.edu.au/jfe/form/SV_cVfmOOF57d75gHj Thanks!",5.919247311827959,9.028112322580649,6.2034408602150535,68.99182795698924,70.93548387096773,9.724731182795699,29.68817204301075,9.994966539143718,3.7120881720430106,438,18,67,13,9,140,66,93,0.036000000000000004,0.772,0.192,0.938,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,2,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,7,0,6,2,0,0,0,15,14,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,8,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,3,12,12,0,10,0,0,0,1,10,5,0,1,4,37,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38952645091578336,0.0,0.0,0.17801759864876168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26693629673718033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254941518592454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432748682251975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869452228166366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22978044964248914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5190517427360448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19142252406320168,0.0,0.0,0.2343953624906717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32626629331793866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18085582007778445,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BI_polarprincess,2018/03/11,ECT? Has anyone had experience with ect treatments for Bipolar II? Did they help? How was the experience?,2.8000000000000007,5.063549555555556,3.865000000000002,75.36750000000002,109.0,6.2444444444444445,26.722222222222214,7.1686216300943375,2.547955555555556,84,4,13,2,4,27,16,18,0.0,0.823,0.177,0.5661,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3202992738949753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8961777228154741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30704049288591034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MessyLass,2018/03/11,Someone please help me explain please I don]'t know what's happening right now but my head it's wrong. we went to watch a movie but i get stuck inside the story do you know what i mean? i want to sit and phase out of the story when there are credits but he doesn't understand so i dont know why but started getting emotional walking home and things were getting worse and he said i wasn't being normal and i got scared becuas you know when things are what they are in your head but someone is basically telling me i can't trust that so i just have to imagine what it's actually like and he said he's hurt that id think he was going to grab me or but i told him i thought he was going to call the police or something but i dont know how to explain. he doesnt know doesnt understand but how do i say how things are in my head that i dont know whats actually happening. i know objectively its not real that its a sickness that i'm wrong in the head but it doesnt make it any less LESS. so i say im scared and confused and i don tknow what to trust really and things are just ODD but i dont know who to tell or what to say so can someone please try and explain what its like if you know. i dont know how to explain but somepeople do but how do i find explanations?? someone please help thank you,0.9040239884012102,2.7413709537366557,2.5784974298141563,95.11276262027151,81.45551601423487,5.728799261895348,21.083563991037305,6.775458762138228,0.1911327533939633,1022,30,242,11,27,336,117,281,0.145,0.7490000000000001,0.107,-0.9513,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,1,5,1,0,15,12,0,3,6,0,27,5,4,6,0,62,65,36,0,3,19,0,1,2,0,0,1,5,1,0,25,11,0,0,22,0,1,4,12,6,0,0,11,7,33,6,15,53,2,14,0,1,1,0,31,5,0,5,6,149,58,1,0.0,0.0,0.14368575943614229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05006438901695305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517464834122542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4314127375965342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281302850262211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06728770172794776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11539084392509845,0.0,0.08368032721260843,0.0,0.058880950370602064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13020453357545544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30222303406244944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09869238968503416,0.0,0.07384725272731822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788121489929773,0.0,0.07952265335679258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4450582445259732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07193440663458546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04914218127642282,0.0,0.0,0.08019418609148111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721323500539134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232523169893294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08379612014634677,0.0471631063005579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06287140988352012,0.14005969752650052,0.17563766452794938,0.1474137049811163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495132665021148,0.056676572158125285,0.0,0.0,0.05210889020031049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869492973380772,0.06777976290721778,0.0,0.0,0.19564046044873976,0.04717297255952907,0.0,0.05844636532599162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034743654642378,0.0,0.04998341150807637,0.0,0.0,0.15328284245834495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043423212824080994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06824683810083512,0.066430950082177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750254658762323,0.0,0.16098467632557667,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ambreray,2018/03/11,"Geodon Questions for anyone taking Geodon: 
what dose are you taking? Did you start at that dose or slowly raise? Do you take twice a day?

I'm taking 80 now. I'm not sleeping very good and when I wake up, I'm so groggy and feel horrible! Can't go to sleep, can barely keep eyes open but also wierdly restless. 

Did anyone have similar experiences when starting? Been taking for 18 days and 3rd day on 80. Couldn't get to sleep until 4am and up at 9am. Just now barely starting to function. 

thanks!",1.4373545454545464,3.817215590000004,2.8234545454545485,91.0117272727273,83.1,4.836363636363637,19.090909090909093,6.11248444174946,-0.028099999999999792,389,10,78,3,11,126,69,100,0.083,0.878,0.039,-0.5276,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,0,0,7,3,0,1,1,0,9,7,5,0,0,13,25,11,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,3,2,4,2,11,21,0,18,0,0,1,0,4,6,0,2,11,42,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631953715760913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208968297112545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056109345385018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15451394520855266,0.0,0.0,0.07986867865457288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252691551128681,0.0,0.08977158488824022,0.13248828616312966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14040097459459572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17694992513560287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4742184096289856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3354120005886636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5938265236393484,0.0,0.0,0.14542717367895988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13033249280354642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jeichert183,2018/03/11,"It’s 10am and I don’t want to get out of bed The depressive hot yesterday. Hard and fast and vicious. That thought process “unneeded, unwanted, unremembered” I was laid off a month ago. I check the job boards and nothing is even interesting. I’m 40 years old never been married and don’t have kids. What I do is who I am, I have nobody to share my life with, nobody to make working worthwhile. I want to open my own business but I need to raid my 401k to do that. I don’t see the point in having a 401k when it’s likely I will die in my sixties. But everyone thinks it’s a bad idea to use my life savings to do something that interests me. If I show people the statistics of reduced life span for bipolar and they disregard it. If I only have 25-ish years left why shouldn’t I make it the best 25 years doing something I love? Why should I get a job that is just a job with no purpose other than to buy another day. The funny thing about starting my own store is the people who would never shop there think it’s a horrible idea but the people who would shop there and owners of similar shops think it’s a great idea, challenging, but great. My father literally told me to get a job as a janitor at the hospital. I want to do my own thing but I’m being blocked and told to do something safe. Is anything worth doing ever safe or easy? Hell no! I can’t escape the working class playing it safe. 


If you’re wondering, this is the store I want to open; it would be called The Basement, if you think about the kids from Stranger Things and the basement they hang out in then roll that forward 5-6 years what do you have? A place with music, and books, and games all specifically tailored to what they enjoy. The store would be selling specific genre records (growing at double digits %), dystopian/speculative/sci-fi/high fantasy books; and games like D&D and Magic and Catan and similar things. Stores that carry everything and try to cater to everyone struggle but boutique style stores serving specific markets do okay and can develop a solid customer base. But apparently, having done tons of market research and knowing the product and knowing the area and what sells and having worked in retail management for years are all indicators that I should do something “safe” maybe I should be a get a job as a bus driver instead. ",5.256776798825257,6.113176160792952,5.620810572687226,81.71827900146845,68.22907488986783,8.696505139500735,30.99236417033773,8.841846274778883,2.42670302496329,1843,72,356,30,30,589,221,454,0.08900000000000001,0.75,0.161,0.9874,6,0,4,0,0,0,48.0,0,2,3,5,9,23,2,1,31,1,46,5,0,3,5,82,73,37,1,19,13,1,2,2,0,9,4,0,1,2,29,28,0,6,11,10,14,3,9,5,0,0,6,3,35,18,40,54,8,36,1,1,1,1,19,17,1,6,20,234,64,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07219241383703674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824114427156228,0.0,0.0,0.08539784894755968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701889349601545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06799972131211758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854671643514868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08316022980768284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05252262112704095,0.0,0.07014489853835748,0.0,0.08452276104025766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334228156969427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05379092389748537,0.07366792586304767,0.0,0.15564047504493125,0.07319379901199614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17019796452223704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17957768452493672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07295501930826502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604674632935923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758104740500159,0.0,0.0,0.4040874648029111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895155401679045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848573918791629,0.0,0.1725722764180401,0.07957578676867433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735035612172016,0.0,0.10872482089036968,0.0,0.08181829628059273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500532223984777,0.0,0.0,0.0603873701960877,0.12562443303901388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814470738707842,0.0,0.08545848902538425,0.0,0.0,0.06193944844928465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16938252634267725,0.0,0.0850883711519577,0.0,0.07698794237219055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489782600738203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507886299108472,0.0,0.0,0.057644264119619724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513967583766094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21642277030348225,0.20873607394638893,0.0,0.06465495056087707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15564047504493125,0.0,0.05529300208650437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033875975147011,0.0,0.0,0.19214373127746007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14697542847425554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831914512843198,0.17786976118427442,0.0,0.0,0.2314130181790103,0.0,0.0,0.26222623776059595
bipolarreddit,voici_emily,2018/03/11,"X posted - manic safety plan with SO So. I'm a ""constant suicidal thoughts"" person. They're always there but I'm always too exhausted to do anything, and love the people in my life way too much. EXCEPT for when I'm manic. Manic lows or highs give me so much energy and that tends to worry myself and my boyfriend. The only time I really consider hurting myself is when I am manic. Often needing my boyfriend to stop me.

I'm going to Europe in June and want to work with my boyfriend to create a safety plan for when I'm feeling like this. One of those ""when I'm feeling like this, I'll do this. If that doesn't work I'll do this."" This isn't just for suicidal ideations, but also other side effects to the mania.

A big part of the reason I want to do this with my boyfriend is that he is far more concerned than I am that I'll do something I would regret doing or hurt myself. Biggest two concerns are me cheating on him or me hurting myself. Mostly this is to put his mind at ease when I'm away. He worries about me so much when I am here, never mind my two months away from him.

What are some good steps to have on the plan? And circumstances to account for? Also any good apps to put this plan into your phone? I want this to be in my phone and accessible when I am out.",2.3038636363636367,3.872119234848487,3.75060606060606,89.5459090909091,76.34848484848484,6.012121212121213,22.227272727272727,6.574015621080383,0.4554909090909085,994,27,209,8,22,328,128,264,0.156,0.703,0.141,-0.8906,0,0,1,0,0,4,28.0,0,1,0,7,20,12,1,0,8,0,21,3,0,2,1,37,39,25,2,7,8,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,1,16,11,0,1,5,0,1,4,3,7,0,3,1,2,28,5,36,36,7,35,0,5,0,1,11,16,0,7,15,151,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18596969284919784,0.19349975250912746,0.0,0.0,0.07907079245025297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09568418201176504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21848784183724354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565165800901193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758397767979382,0.1661333571993214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154130031292928,0.06608159926766356,0.19505142623450208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285061880032515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3734234571486671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08212826883884672,0.11361190356501386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494246865531703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348086290003034,0.0,0.09280936703768228,0.0,0.25642587961863594,0.08621622679278979,0.08967822720576886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879075512112546,0.08843215920122666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12591418389676975,0.0,0.08061024603034221,0.1015265949553401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135903429045503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337764048372645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07448855889038862,0.11954977106531617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951395516660307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721086697272856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543713289687432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230913455466767,0.06780072053299513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271669995418157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057455158939461,0.09229345548107074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16929875259287558,0.2361652314570717,0.0,0.08259822042812744,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LadylikeCunt,2018/03/11,"Any other pregnant ladies? It’s my first time pregnant and I’m really happy/excited. After years of contemplating and planning, the husband and I finally decided to go for it. We’re in our 30’s, I’ve been the most stable I’ve ever been in my life for 6+ months, and I have a great therapist.

I’m currently on 200mg Lamictal and will be staying on it throughout the pregnancy and during breastfeeding. I came to this decision with the help of a prenatal psychiatrist.

Feel free to ask any questions.

I’d love to hear from other pregnant ladies or mom’s with tips and tricks for staying healthy.

",1.9508791208791223,4.630537940170941,3.9068925518925535,81.93711538461542,84.12820512820514,7.787301587301588,27.16056166056166,8.634040054169528,2.651630525030525,477,22,88,13,14,161,77,117,0.013,0.816,0.171,0.9583,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,2,1,4,1,0,6,0,5,2,0,0,1,17,13,8,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,6,10,0,0,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,1,3,2,6,4,17,8,1,16,0,0,0,1,8,4,0,3,8,51,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904826363040123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996679109278792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24427793910263115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931947978808414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079921636204285,0.0,0.0,0.23396579656904765,0.0,0.18167053128759889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12138209679973165,0.0,0.0,0.2354720460720011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407195099280323,0.0,0.14315777193018267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15085744880072044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927637501194042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501416157437555,0.17047704199862482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23925781156982376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13682443472777875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4552944524168421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2479821487909916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453986758844598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13753813320981134
bipolarreddit,themagicalasianhobo,2018/03/12,Weed and BP 2 I've been feeling suicidal more recently and never had that feeling before. I want to get an indica to feel calmer and relaxed when I get really bad. What has been your experiences with BP and MJ usage?,2.785,4.966294883720934,5.067616279069767,77.87723837209303,76.90697674418605,8.951162790697676,24.703488372093023,9.516144504307137,2.548679069767441,172,6,32,5,4,60,33,43,0.165,0.636,0.199,-0.3167,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,10,10,5,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,3,3,1,3,7,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738607726181909,0.0,0.0,0.2790982091485802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3208404633507902,0.0,0.0,0.4975299251888521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34272600800936864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25296871537071874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21012095844715334,0.0,0.3238538940561353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3587715230404669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19345899397094396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,makemewarm,2018/03/12,"Did xanthan gum make me go manic? Confused.... Can anyone relate to this? I was on a really strict diet, off dairy, gluten, not eating anything processed, and feeling pretty stable.  I was even sleeping well.

Then someone brought me a treat, these gluten free cookies and chocolate soy milk.  I ate the cookies, and as time progressed, started to feel more unstable.  Like unpleasantly stimulated, unfocused, bloated, and I was up all night with insomnia and strange sensations going on in my body.  I then read the ingredients on the cookies, and it contained xanthan gum, and tapioca starch, and I decided to be cautious about those ingredients, and didn't have any more cookies. 

I didn't however read the ingredients on the chocolate soy milk, which turned out to also have xanthan gum.  I kept drinking this for three days, and my insomnia became steadily more severe, and I started having to rely on sedatives again to sleep.  My mood was also elevating, and it became harder to focus on anything.  I was feeling insanely promiscuous :S Then by day four, my anxiety and panic skyrocketed.  I ended up getting SO desperate, feeling hyper social and feeling so needy and vulnerable and afraid that it made me reckless, making dangerous plans, needing to meet up with any man or else I was convinced I'd die.  I NEEDED someone to hold me OR ELSE.... Almost got myself in some trouble, and was NOT thinking at all.  Thankfully I managed to stay in the house, and not act, mostly because my family came back early and I could no longer have any strange men from the internet over........

Anyway, since I stopped drinking that chocolate milk, I still have anxiety but am finally feeling a bit... more settled...... I'm back to being my introverted self again, and not wanting to socialize at all, and am just thankful that nothing really bad happened.  

I'm just confused about WHY that happened to me.  Also, during that whole time, I was horribly bloated.

Can anyone relate to anything like this?

I'm confused and feel alone in this.  And this isn't something anyone else really understands.

If you read the comments here, you'll find a lot of people have had puzzling reactions to this ingredient, and insomnia is a common response:

https://chriskresser.com/harmful-or-harmless-xanthan-gum/",6.759713080168776,8.9249469164557,6.72221518987342,70.31893459915611,65.91139240506328,9.01350210970464,36.20464135021097,9.473421319101043,3.9083907172995778,1812,91,268,37,30,575,208,395,0.119,0.794,0.087,-0.83,1,1,3,0,0,0,90.0,0,2,0,2,18,17,1,5,13,0,28,14,3,4,3,72,61,37,1,5,10,0,7,2,0,1,3,0,0,3,17,28,8,4,11,5,1,5,8,8,1,2,18,7,32,9,42,39,12,44,0,0,0,0,9,18,0,11,22,196,49,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968217636072902,0.09275794991369753,0.0,0.21486515158265887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827131888566524,0.0,0.13702749123334207,0.0,0.0,0.18786892300285168,0.09176559495114693,0.22110265341667254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377334111753083,0.07477950385536851,0.05459541547784391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09777716723757042,0.09948182791572664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243366416816564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715069889985973,0.0,0.0,0.1155185778199275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929499417514526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754709212849148,0.0,0.09164302886169852,0.2244495990304628,0.0,0.07932426114945162,0.0,0.0,0.0591540453895807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442992535301543,0.0,0.31699232207410544,0.0,0.0,0.09810944828105043,0.08185692328723213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0467918070051652,0.0,0.10179890157324126,0.0,0.07162993108388183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15839659020645472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10334110649296062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750973884361579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614136582568341,0.0,0.08474456817208162,0.1195650218274764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281635557495142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08404671772394176,0.0,0.08593597642123482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050802692645102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062090162710795024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09111550303584263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687550259380917,0.0,0.17212477207386212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09343141791362604,0.10117818015862516,0.0,0.07408559628341993,0.0,0.17925090389547807,0.1825918572672016,0.15176910334810187,0.06894825800542967,0.0,0.0,0.12678315110108646,0.09545986675632903,0.07152334839254915,0.07487681584946708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16491105239870185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05738692653894345,0.0,0.0,0.10444721303091496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09741640216213736,0.0,0.0932359224207992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05282526390033625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052589005033706,0.0,0.08081466664979167,0.09999140379425857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dayglo_nirvana,2018/03/12,"Bipolar I, starting day treatment New here! I'm bipolar I with all the fun that comes with it, including hallucinations.  My doctor has given up changing my medications (I'm on 4) and signed me up for day treatment (intensive outpatient treatment, 3x/wk, 4hrs a day).

Any suggestions on how to get through this? I drive 1hr to get there, and I dislike group therapy. I always feel like my symptoms aren't severe enough to require this kind of treatment.

On a side note, this will be my 3rd round of day treatment, the last one was over 12 years ago. One CBT, one DBT.

Your input is greatly appreciated, and enjoy your day.",3.4527972027972003,5.841482376068377,4.392369852369853,82.51601398601402,75.66666666666666,6.98958818958819,29.439782439782444,8.00094639256281,2.1498957264957266,486,22,90,8,11,157,81,117,0.022,0.8490000000000001,0.129,0.9141,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,2,0,1,3,5,0,0,4,0,6,5,0,1,1,11,14,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,2,12,5,15,10,2,19,0,0,1,0,4,7,0,0,11,53,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15661352213552127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14700943768339952,0.0,0.0,0.12014643517173665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18690086538109807,0.15219161255186497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5697103233771762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18083642101990324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18255459505171076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933321213663313,0.12621810160287178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18461290644952166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19478704323336588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18398193322129008,0.0,0.1440153557339367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631546986834239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17798351481571392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17063577120407053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3591627727108554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19959474856672266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12505290729110305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18363507687753772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20204557506844564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377421119271243
bipolarreddit,cashiersoulmate,2018/03/12,"Upped the dosage on my meds and now everything feels really, really wrong. I feel like I did when I was at my worst I've been on 100 mg lamictal and recently upped it to 150, eventually supposed to get to 200. I don't know for sure that what I'm feeling is because of the meds. I don't think lamictal is strong enough to get a reaction like this, the impression I got is that it's mild or something but I also don't know anything about how meds actually work. 

It's like I have an electric current going through me, I can't close my eyes and I can't sleep. I'm starting to get irritated like I did before, and crying a lot, and getting that bone deep sorrow for no real reason. Everything's turned up to eleven and I really do feel like I'm crazy, like the way it felt before I got diagnosed. 

I'm scared because I'm feeling that zero inhibitions I can do anything kind of mood and this is when I feel most like I could go through with it",3.839308863725108,4.333485847715739,5.414416243654824,83.23455681374466,71.23350253807106,9.10722374072628,28.35181569699337,9.265573868473778,2.1714134322530256,740,26,161,15,13,252,104,197,0.153,0.7070000000000001,0.14,-0.6679,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,6,16,0,1,7,0,18,4,3,2,1,28,43,13,0,1,2,0,7,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,12,9,0,0,11,0,0,2,6,4,0,2,7,8,20,11,20,35,4,17,0,1,1,0,0,8,0,3,13,98,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.10940234672714164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965363713560649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18451253647348512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13668137990171866,0.0,0.19079323837904336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951002427036822,0.0,0.12314662382723067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11378841516697108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158387081909546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20151292874802265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34011449198059884,0.2402723717118669,0.10764235351764538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342895898340165,0.0,0.12742841333588234,0.0,0.17932783800836133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11674441538319963,0.12322450064888188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38339603374696013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531118004660498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3735839372864083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760474283067866,0.21545995351818295,0.11526686559003925,0.11069424880426182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11224080471136802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11219010185483004,0.0,0.0,0.08630709157096074,0.0,0.0,0.07935142488208125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566153578536576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183500884652591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219425491686682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08898701547462236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161678766002196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12257374318959345,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,WaY_WeiRd,2018/03/12,"Prozac and periods? Also eczema? Has anyone taking this medication had side effects that caused them to spot brown/pink between periods? I'm getting anxious because I have been and this isn't at all normal for me. I've had HPV and a LEEP for CIN III so I'm worried that if it isn't the med causing it, that I have a bigger issue. 

Also, I have broken out in an eczema type rash on my face since beginning this med. I have tried hydrocortisone to get rid of it and it isn't helping. I've never in my life had eczema before.

Are these potential side effects of this med?  Should I call my Dr? I asked her about the face rash and she said she hadn't heard of it being a side effect before... This was a couple weeks ago before the spotting started.

My period isn't due for another 7 days and it's normally like clockwork. Extremely predictable. ",1.495060728744939,3.9399231775147925,3.2398941139831834,87.67666459047025,83.49704142011834,5.92475864216755,21.912488321395198,7.273561745256523,0.9108390532544388,663,22,131,10,19,220,101,169,0.1,0.884,0.016,-0.9067,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,3,4,1,0,0,8,0,18,8,4,5,2,18,28,10,0,4,1,0,0,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,15,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,8,2,15,1,15,18,1,19,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,1,11,83,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312874811162957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368814382851753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15530258492787938,0.0,0.167318194661954,0.0,0.10355951247143523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13845958997194727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028435123314904,0.0,0.3780831835128456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15123330167555338,0.0,0.0,0.30429235844935737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638770315867598,0.0,0.09551644366623363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475907277241935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927266885619022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545847127296319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461200504424813,0.07235735756314983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4935388190151672,0.14920172295314305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422886771444647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902258593017657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14088320302122434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225152320506476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483054707314353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135766024543348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055459544103826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880210526967122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15040934585472104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,microwaved-poop,2018/03/13,"Has anyone else experienced catatonic symptoms when very low? About a year ago when I was in a very low period, I was hospitalised on 3 separate times where I was unable to move, speak or pretty much function which lasted for about 6 hours. Before these episodes set in, I remember being heavily suicidal and feeling hopeless and like I had no energy at all (like I was melting into the chair), and then seeing visuals in my surroundings.

The bit that is funking with my head is whether my mind is playing tricks on me and I could actually move and speak but I was pretending or whether it was all legitimate. 

Does/has anyone else had similar experiences of these kinda catatonic symptoms?",7.116666666666667,8.126651261904764,7.596944444444442,68.64875,64.15873015873018,11.6968253968254,36.38492063492063,11.45678717892309,4.6837968253968265,553,26,91,17,8,182,84,126,0.093,0.828,0.079,-0.4025,0,0,0,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,0,5,7,1,0,4,0,14,3,1,0,2,19,16,13,1,1,5,0,1,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,5,7,0,0,2,2,0,2,1,4,0,0,8,5,12,3,13,6,4,23,0,3,1,0,2,11,0,3,11,66,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.16237206943160154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749417917232244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23268669880154064,0.3409712422594383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415851390575173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18165414933206706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284841057295935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27799401524718964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162760777854425,0.0,0.0,0.08413148888585784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076354561227922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16386005955454444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356295828900797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625789293862894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16800587929453334,0.0,0.0,0.35369123670565017,0.12231536680919115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169277855582827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18848677424879315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13259082316646792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18200301655292864,0.0,0.0,0.3458846281212091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09702300736089256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745773901479189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071493295216652
bipolarreddit,asdfvhjklzxcvbnm,2018/03/13,"Disability with Bipolar Disorder I have a general question about being Bipolar in the work place. I was diagnosed with Bipolar type II about a year ago and I currently have a job but am looking for a new position. While filling out my apps there is a mandatory question where they ask if you have an kind of disability and Bipolar Disorder is on the list. I'm very hesitant about identifying myself with a disability. I was able to stay on my dad's insurance with a letter from my doctor but I'm not sure what applies for this. I'm really nervous about letting any of my employers know I am Bipolar. I'm pretty good at hiding my illness but I have depressive dips that last for a few months and they affect my work. I'm on medication but currently I've been having hormonal issues that I'm dealing with my gyno. I get very antisocial and irritable but I am afraid of my work trying to get rid of me if they knew. I know they technically they're not allowed to but I work in the Biotech industry and they can be very cutthroat. I don't want to not be hired for a job if I was upfront with being bipolar. I also do value my privacy and I don't want the whole world knowing about my illness. I was hoping someone out there has been dealing with this issue and can offer some advice. 

Thanks guys! ",2.785,4.966294883720932,4.793197674418604,79.84468023255816,76.90697674418605,8.020930232558143,28.579457364341092,8.841846274778883,2.576043410852713,1032,46,194,24,24,354,129,258,0.136,0.7859999999999999,0.078,-0.9219,6,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,5,4,9,8,0,2,14,0,27,12,0,2,1,42,45,18,0,6,12,1,0,0,0,0,12,0,0,1,5,16,0,0,6,0,0,1,5,3,0,0,7,1,33,5,33,33,3,21,0,1,1,0,15,11,0,7,8,139,38,10,0.12201402478012065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923069287787845,0.1081580710625893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975745715342095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297372088967367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406664248678355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25158220386091024,0.105090500754216,0.123841666776778,0.0,0.0,0.2796772863947721,0.12488652453937045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274945840089101,0.0,0.0,0.10233957506936918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081306754996865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118745741086324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547018832632048,0.24216018504278225,0.0,0.0,0.1270588307844943,0.20116715123021486,0.09945771519075196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476760704077115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246105079791512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229162934395258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973904304977949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178419054501533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274786865338477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413212803509607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27336726395022026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07816530862181023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338208724572004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13005071593303374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11499677437859325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233412091631316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283951361476616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30202304635800603,0.14393406617938087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362243012949756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3553106528797975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857303157145726
bipolarreddit,HipsterBran,2018/03/13,"Boyfriend [26m] diagnosed bipolar when he was 10 but I’m wary of his initial diagnosis. He’s going to go see someone to get re-evaluated as soon as he gets insurance. TW: Suicide The more I talk to my boyfriend about his past, it seems like he was demonized for having any emotions as a child and his parents were emotionally abusive and neglectful. He acted out in elementary school and attempted suicide and was sent to a psych ward where he was diagnosed. They’re not going to see that his parents were trash and used religion to mentally abuse him and shammed him for having normal human emotions/responses to their behavior. 


In the year that I’ve known him, he’s been severely depressed with racing thoughts. He’s like your typical person with severe major depression. He has thoughts of suicide almost constantly. He claims he felt normal when he moved out of his house and he’s gotten worse since being back home. Can you go an entire year or two without mania with bipolar and only have depression? His description of mania is so hard to understand that I’m unsure if that’s just his “normal” mood of being pulled out of the depression or if it’s truly mania that he’s describing. He said a happy event will trigger it and it might last 1-2 days. He also has anger issues with the depression. I know depression can make you agitated and so can mania. 


Can you have bipolar and not have manic episodes hardly ever? Like be depressed for a whole year with no indication of mania or hypomania? I’m not certain how to identify mixed episodes but he’s always depressed. 


I know he needs to go to a psychiatrist for an evaluation and treatment, but it’s not an option at this exact moment due to financial issues, so I’m just trying to learn all that I can for right now. I’m trying to get the money to take him as soon as I can. I just want to learn more about this stuff and more about him in the meantime. ",4.860149149149149,6.306428208108107,5.827957957957961,77.68682182182187,69.62162162162161,8.940940940940942,29.91991991991992,9.348350401419415,2.7449349349349363,1527,60,277,32,27,504,181,370,0.24,0.715,0.045,-0.9983,2,0,0,0,1,3,30.0,0,4,1,1,19,16,1,0,14,0,26,5,0,4,4,64,56,33,3,7,16,2,3,3,0,2,5,1,1,3,14,21,0,1,10,0,1,9,6,10,0,1,13,6,24,5,49,38,6,35,1,9,2,0,43,9,0,9,20,175,38,4,0.0,0.19037677705513184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08044774353459498,0.0,0.0,0.06424694147889694,0.06684835085314589,0.0,0.0,0.05463316626931044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06177560908985755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08681774535571785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051811905659818976,0.0,0.5535658027113705,0.16308446335871826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180740763815847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267108044243567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07713788540043838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12592118441675587,0.0,0.2282920714626438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552218928301134,0.14393564131794714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08058640714495048,0.0,0.0,0.09270023508670552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16770575295674067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830425105877615,0.0654868774416782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11774849774419592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053626799671963724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809626550204141,0.08522681360602183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538747291256563,0.0,0.0595702320353815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23614501752276024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611013081756371,0.0,0.0,0.178413549153227,0.0,0.07669251349606983,0.0,0.07014877644538244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06860893056318318,0.07642063443542181,0.0,0.0,0.08130719536404893,0.1280393082625753,0.07313746279836786,0.0,0.1815200437589371,0.0,0.06645711880857014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807083858844641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09196875112498899,0.263632954958143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06040480953515887,0.06457331656814358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275601303597451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10908959782584783,0.0,0.07847937318116938,0.08363556594512239,0.0,0.06938696329828734,0.0,0.0,0.047385929455013104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969544601313965,0.0,0.0774437750504799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187214169857726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552067372211136
bipolarreddit,KYLO_RENS_DAD,2018/03/13,"Not sure what this is. I have these kind of ""episodes"" where my mind suddenly brings up dark memories and emotions. I'm overwhelmed by them and my mind interprets my surroundings based on the feelings and memories I'm experiencing. I'm aware of my surroundings and I don't zone out but the thoughts become overwhelming and I can't get them out of my head. It's not a flashback. I don't know what it is.",1.5277499999999975,4.1671862750000015,2.7225,89.79250000000002,86.25,7.2,25.5,8.238735603445708,1.928725,322,14,67,8,10,103,49,80,0.022,0.962,0.016,-0.0979,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,2,0,1,4,0,2,3,0,6,1,1,0,1,17,14,6,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,1,2,11,2,8,13,0,9,0,2,0,0,2,7,0,0,1,43,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322408346147403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3383909520820934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15210764978944244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571701870402109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087362643496761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132660160389851,0.16532717333827893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6075009437898086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28352678160573963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388237885512657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jordansboat,2018/03/13,"Can’t. Sleep. I have been sleeping too much and then too little for about two weeks now. I’m not sure how I will feel in the morning, after I inevitably get at least a couple hours of rest. I think this time change blows. I don’t want to work tomorrow. I am so uncomfortable in bed at the moment, my body just hurts. My body itself cannot rest itself. It’s pathetic, all I have to do to “work” is get on my computer, which is right next to me, because I work from home. I don’t even want to do that. I am far more active at night, always have been. I just don’t want to be up in the morning and work. My job is getting worse and worse. Well... back to the original post, I just can’t sleep and it’s pretty annoying. ",-0.12176470588235233,1.894718130718957,1.8794771241830084,97.61764705882356,86.64705882352942,5.168627450980392,16.84313725490196,6.522977012572876,-0.4152980392156865,546,12,132,6,17,181,89,153,0.139,0.779,0.08199999999999999,-0.8918,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,4,12,4,1,0,5,0,20,5,5,2,2,17,29,7,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,7,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,2,1,1,2,1,17,2,20,25,6,24,0,1,0,0,0,11,0,0,12,93,24,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11622930144440675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740931973909706,0.0,0.08515081979469402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31031760185565443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14776845190975904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15455905031757133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092260777118538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062904944094174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21893930239152784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011567508895928,0.0,0.13756181426166345,0.0,0.14953592792596335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13861603715016055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000129724795302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268471655688803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485568269705749,0.13108512596906993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13377983793020914,0.14211009682042874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11929042333033585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.419358327490907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316516763199164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950465524476119,0.0,0.0,0.08145158102572506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13645217280948024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471699036053747,0.0,0.11204706595193199,0.0,0.12559379743645804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40677004480098616,0.0,0.2847023663541971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ChromaticAmber,2018/03/13,"Unstable bipolar people giving people with bipolar a bad name. I've made forays into dating and I've encountered people who've had bad experiences with unstable bipolar people. Whether it's because of being unmedicated or a comorbid mental illness such as borderline, these bipolar people have hurt others and left a bad impression of what people with the medical condition of bipolar are like. 

However, maybe the impression is justified in the sense that almost all people with bipolar bring unnecessary drama to mentally healthy people? 

When I was unmedicated, I know the mania caused trouble. And even medicated I still have some issues and understand that medication only lessens the frequency, duration, and severity of episodes and does not fully stop it.  

It makes me sad when I think that maybe no one good will love me because they can do so much better in the sense that they can find someone without bipolar and the baggage that I carry. ",9.967452574525744,10.397237804878053,9.720325203252033,57.82846883468835,58.14634146341463,12.654742547425474,42.61246612466125,12.06081838636515,5.83730433604336,776,40,105,22,9,253,103,164,0.157,0.7020000000000001,0.141,-0.627,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,2,1,6,12,0,0,10,0,11,12,0,3,1,28,19,13,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,11,0,0,0,11,12,0,1,4,1,0,1,3,6,0,1,3,0,9,6,14,14,3,10,0,2,0,1,5,4,0,3,6,76,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437010711208855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860949704652489,0.1392491522711131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101413581044233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11733055722809778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995056344414996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07543811693537605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11172446252993587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10439069906789508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956570643285007,0.0,0.0957983600969414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1222698222281953,0.0,0.0,0.11921108092191356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276973230269631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240952386817671,0.0,0.0,0.0557998178179687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308375176521263,0.10807326196036443,0.076239587999426,0.0,0.2294892058010232,0.0,0.0,0.3451796433408894,0.2302042821818086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396137445430198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07739523137173923,0.08686586911827086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6334599670085803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12903075919570706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09677423826340643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121247218363757,0.09548909043498226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318454124811527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11890213715454155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11009945659792174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwawayejg,2018/03/13,Fuck it I'll just get drunk I'm a failure and am dropping the ball in just about every way possible.,-0.6360606060606031,1.5458432727272748,1.7518181818181835,95.56439393939397,93.54545454545452,4.751515151515153,20.96969696969697,6.42735559955562,0.3238606060606064,80,3,18,1,3,27,20,22,0.365,0.635,0.0,-0.8481,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,9,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43575755975854186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4781367601467441,0.2702120897233807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5830575997426783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41052387221608216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Krucifyr,2018/03/13,"Not sure what it is... Hi everyone. I'm new here as I've recently been ""diagnosed"" (I say it like that because its suspected that I have it) with Bipolar 2. I was put on Lithium and built up to 900(?) mg over the course of 9 days i believe (300 for 2 days, 600 for another 2, then 900 for 5 days followed by blood work after the 5th day). However, after the second day of 900 I started feeling what I believe is hypomania(?) only to feel completely cluttered and confused after a few hours, resulting in me feeling rather scared. A few days later, I gradually became more and more agitated, hostile, and on edge for the most part. ""Brain zaps"", knowing what they are as I've experienced them minimally in the past, are a constant thing now and are the most severe I've felt them. I go through moments where i feel like crying my eyes out because this whole thing feels so uncomfortable that its practically painful. The urge to cry also hits hard when I'm listening to music, which I've been doing A LOT btw. Also with music, I feel that its the only thing that calms me down somewhat. Yet it also hypes me up and makes me feel great. But that's somewhat besides the point I guess. I reached out to my doctor about this a few days ago and she wanted me to get off of the Lithium. Its been 2 days now, maybe more, and I'm not sure if Lithium was even the problem. As a matter of fact, I have no clue as to what it could be, seeing as I've never felt this way before. Yes, I have been euphorically happy and ""hypomanic"" as well as severely depressed, but I have no clue if its the Bipolar 2, or the Lithium. Anybody have any ideas as to what it could be?",3.9510902403782993,4.845546870090637,5.316264284776043,82.58009194798373,71.23564954682779,8.052594246683302,28.89281492184421,8.321376580360154,1.9344587153553128,1278,48,262,19,23,429,169,331,0.108,0.836,0.057,-0.9257,2,0,0,0,0,0,53.0,0,0,3,1,14,14,1,2,19,1,21,8,3,2,4,51,44,28,0,7,8,0,10,2,0,0,5,2,0,0,29,13,0,0,12,0,0,3,5,6,1,1,8,15,26,8,43,31,13,43,0,1,2,0,7,13,0,10,28,185,55,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829319132949892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22445054243584048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06362141409311035,0.09810181746359936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406196424363428,0.0,0.07960942284006016,0.21081156641869309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443964353654776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09809188016863284,0.10110099972384502,0.0,0.14939400224251326,0.0,0.20553415269594086,0.4826879977905578,0.0,0.08057980519671254,0.09495755860415976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09575871983532452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06179297795463112,0.0,0.0,0.08939694419107526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3311337278914607,0.06683655737803869,0.17965721866224627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04887924536158292,0.0,0.053170136034592766,0.0,0.0,0.10314602443100876,0.10306268558107172,0.0,0.0,0.09959229878243893,0.08380796560376715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921339969329399,0.0,0.0,0.10561354535763813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051416032663186936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09141365273610763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953812302971745,0.0,0.0,0.0624494800758935,0.0,0.09398976280808023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07215629755808779,0.0903571466215687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14230738924815467,0.09955037722116472,0.0,0.0,0.10131223155417872,0.08930996484667954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844083501602729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952063416779969,0.0,0.0940498064864318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237544615196637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07439963351658711,0.0936660623624844,0.0,0.07455216681944954,0.0,0.0,0.2113837190628676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621954939355698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17635119465934412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864637169050622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055181861969764885,0.07426054510506504,0.0,0.0,0.08411824611295278,0.0,0.0,0.10445213965703784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811001705171299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SergeantSanchez,2018/03/14,"Bad Generic Lamictal So I've been taking the teva version of lamictal for years and it's been very effective. However, apparently the workers went on strike and other companies are having to make it. The pills I'm getting now are completely useless and may actually be making things worse. I've told my doctor and he's doing what he can (I've been going to him for 14 years and I know he'd never try to screw me over, so I trust him), but I am falling into a huge hole and my anxiety is kicking hardcore. I've been searching for any news about when Teva is gonna start producing and shipping again because I can't live like this. Changing medications is simply not an option here
:( I should also mention I'm in college so I'm under sore hard core stress right now

So, is anyone else having this problem with the generic?",3.3470113935144568,5.3216520490797565,4.949487291849255,80.31443251533744,74.52147239263803,7.3565293602103425,28.20727432077125,8.192908349453996,2.1386182296231384,656,27,119,11,14,221,111,163,0.183,0.764,0.052000000000000005,-0.9651,2,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,11,7,1,1,6,0,20,5,0,4,1,22,33,14,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,3,4,0,0,0,7,9,0,0,2,0,0,3,3,5,0,0,6,1,11,2,14,22,1,18,0,1,0,1,7,7,1,2,9,77,18,4,0.0,0.0,0.1936363394496514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15868217303038232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13493731131141792,0.0,0.15179627720210026,0.0,0.0,0.1387449231640599,0.20331213194437475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656784371383574,0.120959389203531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2099096841304818,0.0,0.20804716085162409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030986637658108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657604774325177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367003063418774,0.0,0.11277075967016635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17775181055393705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10905040865197944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09694151484367737,0.0,0.1752148671769335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649034151270013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19989454462514128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530393017109845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189868047632787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16945575836684074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14044780485927374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22729770563411694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491925719401567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13182622536220964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896057084010475,0.0,0.13471905463158876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163723234266835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18394401728769555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022142853235894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255561242961182
bipolarreddit,redthunder79,2018/03/14,Considering checking myself in My skin is crawling. Can anyone tell me what the process is like when you go to the ER instead of finally killing yourself?,6.596785714285716,8.335153678571428,6.305714285714287,74.78928571428574,65.78571428571428,8.457142857142857,42.57142857142857,8.841846274778883,4.217942857142857,125,8,20,2,2,39,26,28,0.134,0.79,0.076,-0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,2,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,4,1,3,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,15,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33963028950315155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5320881142569044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760487726745893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5373828663436521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23730075306828116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4245451539905941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bingedown,2018/03/14,"I don't know who I am I don’t know who I am, I spent so long believing I could change the world, that I had been manifested by the universe to help everyone. Now it’s gone I feel worthless, I have no purpose, my emotions control me. I hate the medication, I know I need it yet slowly I reduce my dosages because I need to feel at least alive. The absolute nothingness of depression is the worst feeling a person can experience, to not even be able to be sad is tragic. Sometimes I want to feel sad so I can feel something. I look at death and illness so I can try to feel something for someone. Every thing is pointless now. I want my purpose back. ",1.0249999999999986,3.3764339242424266,3.0389696969696978,88.94845454545458,84.75757575757575,5.944242424242425,26.224242424242426,7.3011,1.4278751515151509,506,23,105,8,15,170,79,132,0.239,0.6920000000000001,0.069,-0.9776,0,0,2,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,8,7,1,0,6,0,16,2,0,1,0,17,33,4,1,5,1,0,6,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,1,0,1,9,0,1,1,5,7,0,0,4,7,23,0,11,26,2,9,0,5,1,0,4,3,0,0,5,76,29,0,0.16565390954733333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12737763123629658,0.0,0.10098108571605463,0.0,0.0,0.1866352293652514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17523987137652774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18579494539516814,0.13226116739224594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14267746955806673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18633835183408487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10941284493678402,0.0,0.13957056338816262,0.15828940951481352,0.0,0.16204131003038105,0.0,0.0,0.5025575640611947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16354894024316932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11103432373502807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731171693896465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14659849712485853,0.13910756301654206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16687888619376268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456605498725627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14464260424757774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403580199922006,0.25505694537463397,0.16383595230181194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005309675072852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246813077443336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19541393559163825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,secretservicebarbie,2018/03/14,"Mania and hypersexuality I've engaged with a guy I pretty much know nothing about yesternight. I have a boyfriend. It meant nothing to me (the sex last night) but I was into it. 

I tend to be overly charming when I'm manic, and with my looks I can get guys easily to do it with. The guilt hasn't sunk in yet. I love my boyfriend so much and the activity yesternight felt the same as like, having coffee to talk to someone casually. 

Any suggestions how to handle this? ",3.1088043478260867,5.08188161956522,4.671086956521741,82.0559782608696,75.19565217391305,6.773913043478261,25.630434782608692,7.6454224807358475,1.3730173913043475,367,13,72,5,8,123,65,92,0.027000000000000003,0.737,0.236,0.967,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,6,0,7,2,0,1,0,13,15,8,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,7,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,2,9,5,14,11,3,7,0,0,1,2,5,3,0,0,5,51,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16289552634176105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299961232569699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514984952567046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4743648474842376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13164501013475588,0.1952572054263845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702722494880673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20115340881782093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161943511311924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3521791661517035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22479221790081144,0.0,0.4596904973886521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24369846398820905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20296160441681813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19253331095894527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bipolaradvice,2018/03/14,"Some Questions From a Newly Diagnosed Bipolar Person Hey, I am 18 and male and diagnosed bipolar. 


Currently, the only things I am taking for my bipolar disorder are NAC and fish oil. 


I am also diagnosed adhd, so if some of this is irrelevant, to Bipolar disorder, I apologize in advance.


Onwards with the questions:


1. My psychiatrist has tried to prescribe my mood stabilizers (most recently lamotrigine), and I have refused to take them. I really enjoy the high feelings I get and don't want to give them up. I also am deathly scared of putting any drugs into my body. I do not even drink. Has anyone tried this drug? What has your experience with mood stabilizers been?


2. Some months, I legitimately cannot focus. Like, even reading for me is just not going to happen. I meditate every day, and during some months, getting my self to sit still is a near impossibility. I am a master level chess player, but I have to play multiple games at once to properly stimulate myself. I have found that intense exercise (especially weights and competition) help a bit. I have also used audiobooks. Does any have any other coping strategies when they cannot focus?


3. I am hypersexual. Like, it is all I think about. If I wasn't so busy with sports, academics, and music, I would probably sleep with a different girl at least every week. I don't even really enjoy it I just sleep with a girl within 30 mins of meeting her at a party or on a first date and then I feel like shit the next few days. Then, I think I really like her for a sec. Then next week I decided I am bored with her and it's on to the next girl. 


The only girl I didn't get bored of was this other girl I slept with who had bipolar disorder too. She was just crazy enough to keep things interesting. She got a boyfriend though.


I really want a stable relationship, but my habits seem to prevent that. On top of that, I have a horrible reputation because of the number of girls I have slept with and the way I have slept with them and used them mostly for sex (although I have always had consent and never slept with even a tipsy girl).


How do you guys hold down a stable relationship? It seems hopeless with hypersexuality, boredom, and mood instability. Speaking of which:


    4. How do you deal with loneliness? I have many friends, but I still get lonely. I use sex to cope but that is clearly insufficient. A relationship would be ideal, and I am working on it, but is there anything else I can do?


    5. How have you reconciled giving up these manic episodes when they are so appealing not just because of the emotions but also because you are better at everything, confident, and able to have life experiences you would never otherwise have.


    6. How do you explain to your friends when they ask if you are on drugs right now or comment that it is like you are either ""marijuana [your name] or meth [your name] depending on the week."" I don't want to tell them I am bipolar (and I didn't even know for sure until recently).",4.016426430925982,5.974282584507043,5.368966137249025,78.09467335930476,72.6267605633803,8.496014384177405,27.75412046748577,9.138037386147262,2.4450664069523533,2340,89,435,52,47,782,259,568,0.086,0.777,0.13699999999999998,0.986,2,2,5,0,0,1,83.0,0,12,8,7,30,23,1,1,25,0,60,26,8,9,5,96,92,49,1,10,20,0,3,5,2,3,14,1,0,11,22,30,2,4,13,7,0,3,13,6,0,1,14,5,74,14,61,74,12,54,0,2,0,2,60,21,1,17,33,321,96,3,0.06932190376479619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331145703775868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22174680558157406,0.05768137719423735,0.0,0.0,0.14142381512829552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04847148692689083,0.0,0.057046020189429836,0.0,0.0648066222509409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267739673371143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061309590495206234,0.07568156469549313,0.07700100757814776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941378614056318,0.07146783886692518,0.0,0.21108081931997247,0.0,0.07242663501910647,0.2383467224476377,0.0,0.06066406513663894,0.0,0.0,0.06790907456510621,0.24117420035793535,0.0,0.057909555403081875,0.07797781126223415,0.0,0.07162805750197111,0.0,0.2289323182310129,0.0,0.11681338750206813,0.0,0.06230205720164043,0.13562024742480225,0.0,0.0,0.07010247486726935,0.049523581900741714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058965175929224685,0.0,0.07600788940770806,0.10711586177652843,0.0,0.14487133424416573,0.13299977354301354,0.039397235433432834,0.0,0.055443059117134035,0.0,0.0,0.06863958350133254,0.06130113056010635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04646501085052567,0.07324239736412855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06161649321523013,0.0,0.0,0.03809750538472857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04896411072132807,0.16933590297433998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07028152991447116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11066416443104132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10693065148643993,0.0,0.22117389328113726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382556508731689,0.0,0.10544486315549556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060529212496944027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07474073697541063,0.0,0.0,0.06968766012191625,0.15531279455909175,0.0,0.0693406632564593,0.0,0.17763754656209166,0.0,0.13689403382190504,0.22327734493538795,0.0,0.059200527046688836,0.0,0.0,0.06940331897245001,0.0,0.0,0.12621611527769286,0.07231786417212475,0.0,0.0711579380320384,0.0,0.0,0.13874393442929053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11072112378663967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533507390728775,0.0,0.10424288882751387,0.0,0.060590399377023124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921087851511515,0.08883735367337851,0.06810841848238243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413004449404844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17961560238772287,0.0,0.0,0.1226635647272144,0.05502450053947306,0.16681754930203088,0.08441540335591502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05046717156066072,0.0,0.0,0.14773287447578026,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fergusoncommaturd,2018/03/15,"Geodon causing hypomania or coincidence? I'm definitely at the beginning stage of hypomania and it definitely started at the same time I started Geodon (and I'm definitely calling my doctor tomorrow). My heart has been racing like crazy too. Super weird because it's a super low ""let's put you on this for 6 weeks so your HMO will pay for Abilify or Seroquel XR"" dose of only 20mg once a day. I'm not sure if that's even a quarter of a therapeutic dose. 

I can't find anything but some anecdotal evidence on the internet (including one post here from a year ago). Could just be a coincidental timing deal. Anyone have a further anecdote to add?

On the plus side- my house is finally clean.",3.553696741854637,5.8006308796992485,5.67836466165414,74.09218358395992,74.78947368421052,9.245363408521305,30.632205513784466,9.725611199111238,3.382794987468672,549,26,100,16,12,191,98,133,0.058,0.815,0.127,0.8698,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,2,0,2,5,6,0,0,11,0,9,4,1,1,1,16,15,8,0,2,6,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,2,0,2,1,0,7,4,13,10,2,22,0,1,0,0,4,8,0,4,12,60,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18290941930539967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14427887661978595,0.0,0.1698015932743021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257839522550661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21069789102443465,0.0,0.0,0.21196970994416495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16474701422051174,0.0,0.0,0.13307329150166156,0.21272917667486246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21119941820474009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13628671117992702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260371873781715,0.1885925263209378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24451584409839786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23809055561398584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109983131887172,0.0,0.10080810555444622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21974711880996145,0.13982243954604182,0.1569321199527912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19761825884326328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074303462531817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29209935825687894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19447455947518266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24063894636696995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551482214732918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132877254897449
bipolarreddit,Sonnet64,2018/03/15,"Newly diagnosed, need to vent. Any advice welcome My psychiatrist thinks I’m bipolar II. I struggled with depression for over 5 years, but it was always manageable. Ssris seemed to help. Then last summer they suddenly stopped working, I had my first hypomanic episode, and everything seems to have changed. This illness feels like such a heavy burden everyday, and I have virtually no coping mechanisms. I had to give up alcohol and weed, as I was becoming dependent on the former, and the latter started bringing on paranoia and psychotic episodes. I’m in my last semester of undergrad, and seriously don’t know how I’ll make it to completion. I have to write a thesis which, as you may imagine,  is like fighting the final boss in a video game that I don’t even want to play. On top of my other schoolwork, I’m just not sure how to hang on. My psychiatrist has suggested inpatient care, but if I don’t finish school this semester I won’t be able to afford to go back (my financial aid will run out). This disease is new for me, and I’m scared. I feel that if I can somehow power through the last two months of this semester I can then truly seek proper help for my condition. Anyone have any words of advice/strategies to just power through the illness for a period of time? I started lithium about one month ago, I’m still on a small amount of citalopram, and now on klonopin because I can’t sleep. Sorry for the wall of text, but I’ve been lurking here for a while and this community seems pretty supportive and I just need to share with someone. My SO is good at listening and caring, but she’s also busy with her school/thesis and I dont want to always burden her. When your mind becomes too much, and your thoughts are racing so much that you can’t do anything, what do you do? When you’re so tired and depressed and can’t move, what do you do?",6.334678571428569,6.433664158333336,6.697936507936507,77.575,65.75,10.07936507936508,33.8095238095238,9.842372674337009,3.1774523809523814,1467,60,279,29,21,476,201,360,0.132,0.7340000000000001,0.134,0.4121,3,0,1,0,2,0,43.0,0,6,1,5,20,18,1,2,12,0,32,7,1,5,1,54,59,34,0,6,10,0,2,2,0,3,6,1,0,0,14,19,1,1,9,3,0,5,10,8,0,3,6,3,35,10,46,49,3,48,0,2,0,0,20,15,0,8,30,189,49,5,0.10934240736591977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10684813499651008,0.09692544678654476,0.11685378032469372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08744108366620232,0.18196328433214426,0.0,0.0,0.14871317303948134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645475356785354,0.0,0.08997948468525388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407756196037967,0.0,0.06665411665073165,0.2415201966780079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22296374319800116,0.0,0.11566976870732194,0.0,0.1146434337968108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18835291048653532,0.1109802418368152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12814848709310062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221962883238596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826990530136127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105736130719008,0.07811423766985913,0.0,0.11977926265471688,0.0,0.09300659584785666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489120053350587,0.06214180990281878,0.09171122358315363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465798216366973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06009172753731803,0.2673859672197941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683835428131416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298690597445948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040466142303658,0.0,0.17455213274412335,0.1162136747855258,0.16075850102518027,0.16215201917843305,0.0,0.10560357838967208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07409324503489181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124053759616144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094708247104761,0.22132070753367564,0.0,0.2986236631569365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094213731448475,0.0,0.0926454669316204,0.0,0.0,0.12239987305140528,0.15478623743176034,0.0,0.08732098776576913,0.09141514858681006,0.0,0.11430842496075765,0.0,0.0,0.1240804681126954,0.10305392492814117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700621995871798,0.0,0.08680565778311702,0.06375843704341529,0.12567301234921435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068116439233111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12898596965701664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07960257482417613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041292541200819
bipolarreddit,tupacgurl,2018/03/15,"Feeling depressed and have to leave the house . Need some encourgment . Im venting Hey   Everyone , Ive been a lurker in here for quite a while I really like this community.   Short background on me: I have bipolar type two disorder, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, depression, anxiety, ADHD, carpal tunnel syndrome, asthma, hypothyroidism, insomnia,   Hypertension. I believe undiagnosed PTSD.  I am disabled I haven’t been able to work in several years my health is just getting worse.  I’ve been sick I was 19 and I’m still only 31,  I’m stuck in bed and barley able to walk everyday . Im in constant pain. Not looking for sympathy or anything I just need to vent. I guess it’s hard for me to talk about on the Internet to complete strangers even though reading on Reddit is a great comfort to me.   I can’t drive anymore. I need help with everything. I have to depend on my family for everything I’m lucky that I have them and that I do have least with my mom as a support system. Though I don’t have anybody to help me right now so I’m gonna have to run out and get my medication( I have no idea  how I’m going to do that I’m trying to find a ride right now because I’m out of my medication. )   I’m feeling so down that I just can’t motivate myself to leave. Where I live it’s freezing cold it’s dark and gloomy. I don’t have any friends where I live, I have no social life because I’m in constant suffering constant pain . Everything causes pain. So I know when I leave the house because I have no choice I’m going to be in so much  more pain. I guess that’s one of the main reasons besides being depressed that its so hard for me. I guess I just need to vent thanks for listening. Im usually more on depressed  Spectrum then manic. Hang in there I take some comfort in knowing that all of us are true warriors.   I hope this makes sense I’m a little scatterbrained and very tired I didn’t get much sleep last night I never sleep well.  And again thank you listening Id love to return the favor. ",1.4399010869565243,3.9191728575000013,3.0823043478260885,88.45191304347826,84.175,6.278260869565218,24.69565217391305,7.586124646067393,1.4334880434782615,1573,64,315,28,46,518,200,400,0.166,0.7120000000000001,0.122,-0.9013,0,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,1,1,1,3,24,24,0,0,11,0,30,18,2,6,3,44,69,21,0,5,6,1,5,1,1,1,15,2,1,0,13,12,0,0,8,1,0,7,11,10,1,2,6,9,45,14,45,60,9,47,0,6,1,1,13,22,0,9,18,193,58,4,0.14908933792738252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08958820586973483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050692931140930465,0.0,0.057026467719492324,0.0,0.07392828086189931,0.0,0.0,0.06134391093968535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363252149049917,0.0,0.0,0.08398631476922616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657790929982801,0.0,0.0,0.0781586671367525,0.24166891401279506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568208565882153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543464887963655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04923605080300107,0.0,0.0,0.07123062573641435,0.20098782538968965,0.0,0.07027407959332672,0.0,0.07538404888946351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813247694226868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057593026325301326,0.0,0.11683953844733992,0.0,0.0847309065092723,0.0,0.0,0.08218576069826918,0.2463580713113892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355476265257388,0.0,0.0,0.0792374972425304,0.0,0.0,0.09993144054435917,0.0,0.0,0.0740396762710191,0.0,0.1720290788505215,0.0,0.08415185765171576,0.2415631032306152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08193560110186297,0.060763854549838923,0.0,0.23679612309616235,0.0,0.0,0.052653104236824455,0.03641875985898793,0.07471334188882778,0.13164861683317072,0.0,0.06259874737487521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727947415792239,0.0,0.04975914538210493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501918229679814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873058153404272,0.0,0.0,0.1095978178157106,0.22109570993802544,0.05749344423786931,0.0,0.0,0.06995512202805948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050513396920993534,0.056694579858320875,0.3172831342692615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08713872886774662,0.0,0.0,0.07928743132755993,0.0745648418097905,0.0,0.04775522376348123,0.07664433509175846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12732147997968202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421425763254252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14919700846421147,0.07598890237696032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059531468927678285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08459240694570311,0.0,0.0,0.05604831386217728,0.05991618121114111,0.0,0.13726143157926818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14647951754573907,0.0,0.0,0.08567813100996348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05061093698576241,0.0,0.07281930981348222,0.0,0.08966805832031763,0.0,0.08210042127200137,0.06150715884433669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702460985320241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05426940682828964,0.0,0.07596738620323905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04800432276964146
bipolarreddit,pbby1996,2018/03/15,"What is the best/coolest thing you did for yourself while experiencing a manic/hypomanic episode? I wanna remember it’s not all bad sometimes. So hit me w some stories guys. Or, what are some non self destructive things you like to do when manic/hypomanic? I learned/memorized the moonlight sonata during an episode. Not the greatest thing but hey, still pretty fuckin cool lol. ",4.198544776119402,7.432872343283584,4.0553544776119415,80.90452425373138,79.29850746268656,6.932089552238806,30.76305970149253,8.07648339933343,2.6727626865671645,305,15,51,6,8,93,56,67,0.066,0.722,0.212,0.8834,0,0,0,0,1,0,12.0,0,2,0,0,3,5,2,0,5,2,4,1,0,0,1,9,5,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,2,5,2,3,3,4,3,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,3,4,35,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24090734266989025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027904681394389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28568632067932714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14095933748989478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935348936635038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268439634091705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009957735877079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28535981002700705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304174126833924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5750520018430239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,theresfourcherries,2018/03/15,"I'm planning to end my life in August. At least now I know why i'm like this. Eating disorder, childhood trauma, abusive relationship, toxic work environment, lots of hard drug abuse 25 year later a psychiatrist finally tells me I have bipolar disorder. Feels like a lot of things suddenly click and fall into place. Why I get so restless and high energy, and so hyper focused on sex or cleaning or things like that, just to crash into nothingness. Why I always feel torn into multiple pieces. Why I can't cope with work, why i'm alone, I have no friendships, why I hate looking at myself in the mirror.

The diagnosis doesnt change my plans for the Summer but at least now I feel a little less like a lost fish drowning, especially reading things other people wrote and how I can relate to it. Sorry if some of this sounds weird, my English is weird today

My favorite sub got deleted today so I just wanted to share somewhere. Thanks

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bipolarreddit,WillBeDeadAndGone,2018/03/15,"Have manic episodes had an effect on how you view spirituality? I'm guessing you guys are well versed with the crazy-seeming coincidences, and all the music/media speaking directly to you. After it's over I always think I was insane - which I was, but in the moment, it feels very real. It's not just music either - there seems to be some kind of ""flow"" that becomes ""visible,"" if you know what I mean. It feels pretty supernatural. Anyone have similar thoughts?",4.755899159663869,6.87301897647059,5.804537815126048,75.07470588235296,71.0,7.680672268907562,26.26050420168067,8.418075326091056,1.967050420168068,363,12,62,6,7,120,67,85,0.023,0.901,0.077,0.6553,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,4,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,0,7,0,0,2,1,20,16,4,0,1,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,7,2,0,0,8,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,4,4,8,2,8,11,3,6,0,0,1,0,6,3,0,4,2,45,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20567917662947535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728387220637529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27299834345398377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499700945390905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723040717649016,0.2447537438505305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2574069606411884,0.13584737258927335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2692588346042852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25147778866021386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28135263607797634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4500590646486912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15838728759849596,0.0,0.19623866743382967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039549551615908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222505730093838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,unicorn199,2018/03/15,"I have no real friends I just realised I have no real friends besides one, I even feel as though we don’t really have a lot in common but somehow we’re living together.  

I feel as though all of my university friends aren’t even my friends, I don’t feel as though I can genuinely tell anyone how I feel. Even with my boyfriend I feel as though I can’t tell him how I feel completely because he’ll worry and I’m scared that he’ll leave me when he realises how suicidal I actually am. I’ve been diagnosed with type 2 bipolar so most of the time I’m experiencing depressive episodes and a lot of the times I can experience extremely bad episodes where I don’t do anything productive for two weeks at least. 

I just want to meet likeminded people who I feel as though I can talk to honestly. Any suggestions on how I do this? ",7.480853293413175,5.8435323173652725,8.025501497005987,74.70436002994016,64.1497005988024,12.42185628742515,38.240269461077844,11.45678717892309,4.154761077844311,655,29,137,17,8,219,93,167,0.165,0.728,0.107,-0.8906,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,0,0,18,8,0,1,4,0,15,2,0,4,1,27,27,19,1,1,3,0,7,0,4,2,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,7,0,0,0,7,3,0,2,1,8,24,5,16,24,5,9,0,1,0,0,15,4,0,4,5,92,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.1096699797978342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642456084202695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785810812355857,0.0,0.09248195652495099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383543866581344,0.06850787309867984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178318490859875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096795651474866,0.11406677796147613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226845129405168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099325227649068,0.0,0.0,0.3977709407252649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3473085217532885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11899778601219912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923659473314367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910886832489796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615389541381072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07791249412496484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25583380954800816,0.07199567911925232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251538155656886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229291910756408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090329514063067,0.19645607747597285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5520805637408845,0.0,0.13106332011955382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978224474420743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628663678101618,0.0,0.09014717878021754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413079052937082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,janesae,2018/03/16,"Is happiness and stability truly attainable? I am 24 years old right now. I was diagnosed bipolar type 1 in October 2016 (age 23) after a suicide attempt landed me in the hospital, so relatively speaking, this is a new diagnosis. When I got diagnosed, a lot of things about my adolescence suddenly made sense. I suspected as early as age 15 that I was bipolar, but was unable to get help for a few years. 
I have felt depressed since I was probably 9, and I started struggling with sleep/having manic episodes since I was maybe 12 or 13. 
When I was 21, I got to university and they had a counseling program. This was when medication began.
The counselor and doctor just assumed I was depressed and had anxiety, so we medicated that, which caused further problems. I eventually stopped taking the medicine (couldn’t afford it, and especially not if it was making it worse) and things went back to normal. 
So I guess that’s what I’m getting at. My normal is fairly stable. If 1 is a major depressive episode, 5 is perfectly stable, and 10 is a manic episode, I’m probably at a 3 most of the time. 
The depression is such a huge part of me that even when I’m manic af, it’s only ever a mixed episode.
When I was diagnosed bipolar, we started medicating for that, and sometimes things feel okay for a little bit, but I’ve gone through several meds and combos and almost everything makes me feel worse. I either end up somewhere on the mania/mixed episode spectrum, or I feel no different at all. 
As it is, a good cup of coffee makes me feel better than most combos I’ve tried, so I stopped taking anything, and I feel mostly fine. Just the usual 3-4 that I always am. 
But what I want to know is if it’s possible to actually end up happy. Is there a combination of drugs that will make me feel better, and I just need to keep trying? Is there something that may be more effective than just drugs? ECT, or some kind of therapy? Or will I always live a life of being a little bit depressed. 

TL;DR: fairly recently diagnosed BD1, always at least a little depressed. Is happiness in the right combo of meds, something else, or am I doomed to always be depressed?
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bipolarreddit,Psychological_Gold,2018/03/16,"Latuda 60mgs, Lamictal (just started-working way up to 100mgs), Lexapro 15mgs 2x a day, Buspirone 15mgs 2x a day and weight gain Let it be said that I work out with a personal trainer 3x a week. My job is sedentary (office job) but I have a standing desk which I've just recently started standing at after lunch break. I'm doing the whole Keto diet (for a year) and granted I haven't been a saint on it, I've had cheat meals on weekends and little treats here and there (also used to drink but have cut that out and used to smoke but quit that as well) but for the most part have been keeping my carbs under 50g per day and ideally I want it to be at 25g or under. My caloric restriction is at 1,425, I'm female, 5'4 and last month I weighed myself at 147lbs. I started off last year being at 137lbs (before working out 3x per day and before being switched around between many different anti-psychotics-Bipolar 2) which is MUCH more ideal and my goal weight is 125-130lbs. I understand it's going to take time...but I'm becoming impatient. I religiously write down everything that goes into my mouth and count my macros. My weight has done nothing but go up and I understand muscle weighs more than fat but I have a pudgy stomach, full face, and I can't seem to go down in weight. I will be more than happy to provide a weekly macro sheet if that would help any of you but I'm desperate for any advice, suggestions, or just telling me to calm the fuck down and just be patient :). Also, I have started running 5k's and try to run at least 3 miles of my off-training days. Thanks for reading and for any feedback!",4.357193920630452,5.2118627337461305,4.8219772023642005,86.64131367858153,70.26934984520125,7.606473402758232,28.304109203490015,7.686295010490155,1.5632365325077395,1265,44,259,14,22,402,181,323,0.062,0.841,0.097,0.9042,3,0,2,0,0,0,43.0,0,1,0,7,10,10,3,0,12,0,26,15,4,2,0,48,47,28,0,5,14,0,4,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,11,21,11,2,3,3,0,5,2,3,1,0,5,5,24,7,44,33,9,52,1,0,0,1,7,25,1,5,18,160,35,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964531723070645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15786835979585664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20136791302874732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786818416032381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901167880272733,0.16798100202828828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3182820993548765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031254907687345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10100926333766154,0.0,0.09669311076415052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08870949510668298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125098206236963,0.0,0.0,0.16828860976071874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507307770202973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615973593514259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19589853493316128,0.08773334700131702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609151454044832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093232883054387,0.0,0.0,0.0989281239872188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000711583866257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878521668480426,0.0,0.07255937316881372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470990208379612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688766208231468,0.0,0.0,0.08618520994307792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498468732227673,0.0987314946589126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974590661120146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389085250728683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985712802687533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20959126189131075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421371341255932,0.0,0.08627233158051283,0.09087410346429386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0575555531631743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06701406900907904,0.0,0.0,0.205510321774486,0.0,0.1704984834291912,0.0,0.0,0.05821863880416995,0.07834726300539459,0.1583500474751334,0.4807833414998722,0.08874745455261293,0.0,0.0,0.11020036609760868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155747743988148,0.0,0.0,0.07011704639217155,0.0,0.0,0.12712528913360513
bipolarreddit,drakfyre,2018/03/16,"7 years later: tales from an SO Hey all.  A whiiiiiiile back I had a really rough week.  And I [wrote about it here.](https://np.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit/comments/fy8mx/its_a_long_story_but_i_need_to_tell_it/)

Well, I just wanted to say:

LIFE IS FUCKING GRAND.

Yeah, Chris has bipolar.  Yeah, his medications suck.  But he's up again.  He's doing again.  This isn't a sudden thing either, this has been slow and gradual and we wouldn't want it any other way; as if we had it faster that's... bad news.

But... our relationship is better than it's ever been.  I stuck through the worst of things and honestly the worst was only about 1-2 years. (Only.  I know that's a long time but seriously, compared to eternity, it's nothing.)  During that 1-2 years time I basically had lost all hope, and was only driven by my promise and loyalty to my husband.  Promises that were hard to keep because he seemed like such a doppelganger.

We kept adjusting medications.  We lowered stress in our lives.  I took over on all the hard stuff and I give Chris whatever latitude I can.  I've lost my judgementality. Chis still judges himself very strongly and I am trying to help him be less critical.  He's come a long way but he wants to help more and I think this is a good sign.  He just needs to be more patient with himself.

About 4 years ago he had another psychotic break.  This was while he was medicated.  But the problem was we were moving.  The stress of this put him over; it's something that happens.  But the second time was much milder, much easier.  Firstly, everything was set up so we had a p-doc (The best, thank you Madeline, god, thank you so god damned much) and he had medication, and he was able to recognize the discrepancies.  The first time through he had no idea something had gone wrong in his head.  But this time he DID and it made a HUGE difference.  ([Here's where I wrote about it](http://www.pushypixels.com/post/122389851999/missing-the-man-who-is-there) at one point, sorry the picture is missing my hosting screwed up; I'll have to fix that later.)

Anyway, that was much milder and cleared up in a few months.

So, all sounds pretty bad-ish, not GRAND like I claim, but seriously, let's step back and look at things, specifically this statement:

> During that 1-2 years time I basically had lost all hope

I.  
Had.  
Lost.  
All.  
Hope.

I had lost the LOVE OF MY LIFE.  He was gone.  I was resigned to caring for his shell for the rest of my days.  I even... god help me... I even wished for his death.  Or my own.

And NOW I HAVE HIM BACK.

There are no words I can write to explain the magnitude of this.  None.  All the worldly troubles I've ever had have MELTED in the face of this tragedy.  All of them.

Anyway, hope this was worth a little read.  Chris will be waking up soon and I am gonna cuddle him back into bed the moment he does! <3

----

Edit: Tips for bipolar SOs:

During the bad times:

* Take it a day at a time
* There's only so much you can do to help.
 * Get them their pills on time.
 * Force a smile, laugh even if you don't think you need to.
 * Be around when you can.
* You also have to help yourself.
 * Focus on work, focus on friends, focus on YOU.
 * Stop worrying every second about your SO, the worries don't help either of you.

During the good times:

* ENJOY THE SHIT OUT OF THEM",1.5581649626744571,4.187951618670887,2.544050632911393,91.2545683219734,85.81962025316454,5.456215514443363,19.494969165855238,6.955863796453363,0.3229132749107437,2541,72,523,35,78,802,293,632,0.151,0.647,0.202,0.9927,1,0,2,0,0,0,163.0,8,10,4,12,38,47,5,2,35,2,58,17,4,1,11,84,102,37,1,14,16,1,3,2,1,3,9,2,1,0,31,27,0,3,8,1,1,8,8,23,1,5,43,6,62,24,61,51,25,84,0,7,1,4,63,27,5,8,47,340,93,3,0.06178731854780412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05477072985915506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04941129631953562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04201749538994092,0.06478939083292062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055003813179786205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900425362387948,0.1547694903881896,0.037664975897584656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06484197884129697,0.05464586216234982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06299628916840341,0.0,0.0,0.05322430390585537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796954178520093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645545971220664,0.0,0.0,0.0540704988385754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224298235122347,0.11178033403446767,0.05205848074172248,0.0,0.05553045784146733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10511252318539174,0.0,0.0,0.047736729039962886,0.05712138036985815,0.03228132376369968,0.05927202607252392,0.0,0.10364854263685036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05463832173607007,0.0,0.11069860230528733,0.0,0.06341161447187962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24848842321089526,0.0,0.0,0.2454749951421461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975036186220877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05491940768108863,0.0,0.0,0.033956694395896145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318171943403827,0.08728442071681881,0.06037232568889106,0.061927125295901365,0.05455933427386261,0.10935966516256353,0.051885786046334696,0.0,0.33724078519051043,0.0,0.055765467327369575,0.058464654764794725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489768923252738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049318048179453566,0.06567014131629817,0.22710394236313045,0.0916290275978524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05928659855981446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04186868611636459,0.18796815999524866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058408987453972175,0.0,0.05917517157642317,0.06285991590510095,0.0,0.05912211929060913,0.0,0.06211332091243822,0.0,0.0,0.0618040390737019,0.0,0.039582538416436885,0.0,0.0,0.06633645686188172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049135755670589865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0562488542365272,0.0,0.0,0.063423794581695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09513379294673023,0.0,0.06916584451199079,0.0,0.0,0.04934343240620948,0.05165696495894565,0.14155432927790268,0.0,0.07073169725078837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04645637402127878,0.0,0.0,0.11377092306153698,0.0,0.0,0.12314624685932805,0.07918163772571506,0.0,0.0,0.3602868232567816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864798435689604,0.041949533467849694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05098100869341138,0.1093312840011538,0.0980877950005976,0.04956205998544682,0.0,0.05555421973312688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710523670328221,0.0,0.0,0.04498190378621366,0.12549604242622073,0.0,0.0,0.06755473329626105,0.0,0.19894503683986656
bipolarreddit,flstormet,2018/03/16,"Should i ask to be evaluated for spd at my next pdoc appointment? I have an appointment on tuesday. I have reason to believe i have sensory processing disorder. is there any reason to bring it up? will i just be looked at as the annoying self diagnosing patient? I believe my sensory issues are a huge factor in my anxiety , especially in leaving the house and social situations. years ago i tried to tell people i thought i might have aspergers, but i just got laughed at my fam who sees me as a bit of a hypochondriac. maybe i am",4.339117647058823,6.089776196078433,6.157009803921567,73.62904411764707,71.35294117647058,10.590196078431372,33.338235294117645,10.686352973137794,4.1144470588235285,420,21,77,14,8,145,70,102,0.054000000000000006,0.8809999999999999,0.066,0.4836,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,6,0,12,1,0,2,0,9,18,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,16,1,15,11,1,13,0,0,2,0,5,8,0,1,4,56,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16056718197492975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12317949470011852,0.0,0.138569447852424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16933881273498144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4081591489052922,0.0,0.0,0.19775488779272749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18385042604835708,0.0,0.0,0.2075989026876088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448719510320499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20900798720459565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890601562948272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19179812078625424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521096116746657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819766450450065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19215792442160173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19264144720260434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557771417197958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3724783813341783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14434288153637892,0.0,0.18896558458205187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20360578106134272,0.0,0.18464654512851675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15832188034602418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14380268868309334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298025590341362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11664640590118568
bipolarreddit,OneDirtyLittleHorror,2018/03/16,"New job, new problems So I recently got hired as a waitress! I love it and I rack in the tips all day, so nothing to complain about there. HOWEVER, I was blessed with the laziest coworkers ever. I have only been there 4 weeks, and I’ll be juggling 10-12 tables all by myself because people just don’t want to do their work. I do this while maintaining all the little tasks such as replenishing ice, making drinks, running food, cleaning tables. I have no problem doing it and do it with a smile, but it puts me under a lot of stress and it can get frustrating. Managers say it’s a work in progress but I’ve yet to see any kind of improvement. 

I’m fairly new to my diagnoses as well, I’m still learning how I function and what sets me off and how to work through the highs and lows. I recently discovered a new issue though. If someone comes at me, I get into a fight or flight kind of mode. I used to be a snazzy biatch and tell people to pound sand, but now my brain completely shuts down and I cry and try to runaway. I AM NOT USUALLY A CRIER OR A RUNNER. EVER. 

The incident that set me off last night was charging my friends card for $200 instead of $50 (he was cool and we fixed it) and then I had a coworker coming at me for not bussing HER table right away. She threw a glass at me, and yelled at me in front of 20+ people. To add to the embarrassment I had customers coming up to me asking me if I was okay. I wasn’t and I went from a high to a low, so I told my managers I needed to dip. 

Whatever, that little scene she caused was, messed me up. I drove 100+ all the way home, not caring what happened and I’ve been in bed since then. I have to return to work today and I really have no idea how to handle the situation. My managers were understanding, but how do I face everyone after they’ve seen me at my worst? I’ve also never had an episode happen in public, or experienced a high and a low within the same 15 minutes. So I guess my questions are, how do I handle it? How do I go back to work? And what do I say? And how do I get these feelings under control before they turn into a big problem? These are things I need to be able to control to be in a successful work environment and it’s something that I’m really struggling with. 

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bipolarreddit,zumifi96,2018/03/16,"as my gujurati jain friend wants scientists to investigate this would taking any nootropics induce OCD intrusive thoughts, intrusive photographic visual images and how to get rid of them? if someone can help out my friend i would appreciate it His weight is 180 pounds, he is Gujarati Indian , he is 5 foot 11, he Can certain nootropics induce OCD euphoric intrusive unwanted thoughts during years of development?Please look at the nootropics below he took andhe is trying to find a cureI took all of these in seperate order. He never took them all at once ..he took the following but not in order. He suspects prl 8 53 induced it or ganja, piracetam, lexapro, modafinil, tianeptine, aniracetam,phenylpiracetam, oxiracetam, shankhpushpi, noopept, semax, selank, colouracetam. ashwaghanda, deprenyl, weed, alcohol, cdp choline, vinpocetene, forkolin, cordecyps mushroom,gotu kola, magneisum l theronate, mucuna pruiens extract, 5htp, n acetyl cystine prl 8 53, reishi powder, theacrine, vitamin d 3, 7 8 dihydroxyflavone, nicotine solution, and sulbatimine.""",10.656023424428334,13.008598907975465,8.432035694366983,61.00190741773568,56.852760736196316,10.835248187395427,46.72002230897937,10.832165505486646,6.0883055214723925,854,52,101,20,11,252,124,163,0.028,0.861,0.111,0.8912,0,0,1,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,8,4,1,4,4,23,19,7,0,5,4,0,1,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,4,3,2,0,7,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,6,2,6,3,13,11,2,15,0,0,1,0,13,6,0,2,2,44,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17459057634545286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109575795913458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14931527921499604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25243523184650085,0.0,0.08535297256939813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10950204378949234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13718787078163222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259993774581742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17398145643355495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793288696473221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13842107138032458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228323115414108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259391690714483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7260308862980901,0.11091606421068496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963586061157866,0.0,0.0,0.19893806168523664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321037040399393,0.0,0.0,0.10520355606547738
bipolarreddit,ricelick,2018/03/16,Bipolar defending you from deep emotions? Is it possible for your hypomania/mania to start when your body knows that you wouldnt be able a specific situation? Everytime Im supposed to feel really devastated I start becoming manic? ,7.609166666666668,9.909442250000003,9.080000000000002,53.7116666666667,64.0,14.333333333333336,40.833333333333336,13.023866798666859,7.149333333333333,190,11,26,9,3,66,35,40,0.124,0.8759999999999999,0.0,-0.7034,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,3,7,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,4,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,16,7,0,0.29627718982021106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3272148788398086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32909716697890035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33327196072820464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14980664930659382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200302064268601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628261952072909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3340080150565003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18980275440985697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3330279748855529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4194130397701451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,TheAGH,2018/03/16,"Lamictal and Memory Loss Hey everyone!  I'm 17 here, going on 18.  I first started taking lamictal in early 2016 to treat my depression, but only started taking it consistently a few months ago.  I used to just take whenever I'd wake up, which could range from anywhere from the early morning to late in the day, but the only noticeable effect that it produced was that if I missed a dose, my body would physically crave it.  

A few months ago, I began taking it at a regimented time everyday, as to give it the opportunity to properly regulate in my system.  About a month into doing that, I started to feel different.  I've always been one of the sharper kids, praised for my vocabulary and my writing ability (which may not come off in this post, but I'm really just looking for help here).  It's all that I really had to pride myself on at a young age and it carried over into just being a part of my identity; but over the past two months, I've just felt like I've been losing myself.  I struggle to keep up in conversation, my word find seems to come and go, and I just feel slow.   I know that I'm functioning at a technically normal level, but I feel like a piece of me is missing.  I've also been having terrible mood swings, going from happy, to sad, to complacent, to ragingly angry within about twenty minutes.  I know that I'm functioning at a technically normal level, but I feel like a piece of me is missing.

My biggest concern, though, is that I'm experiencing brain damage, as I've banged my head up a little bit.  This started getting really bad around the same time I started better regulating my dosage and I'm not discounting that as a possibility, making it hard for me to figure out if it's my medication or if I just destroyed myself for the rest of my life.  At the same daily dosage for nearly two years, I've never experienced anything like this, so my question would be this: Was my irregular dosing the reason that I wasn't experiencing these things earlier and will these effects go away after I wean myself off? 

EDIT: I've had a significantly worse sense of humor over the past month.  I know that this sort of thing is common, but can lamictal actually make you more serious? I can't seem to find anything on the subject.",6.4673103448275855,6.464239271264372,7.797379310344829,70.15055172413794,65.48275862068965,10.82206896551724,32.11264367816092,10.53366545652748,3.390234022988505,1773,64,322,42,25,612,210,435,0.121,0.7809999999999999,0.098,-0.8636,1,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,0,1,0,10,14,26,2,1,26,0,23,8,4,7,2,67,65,24,0,8,19,0,6,4,0,4,4,1,0,1,30,13,0,1,17,0,1,6,5,14,0,4,10,11,40,11,63,48,11,70,1,8,1,0,9,32,0,9,34,228,70,2,0.0,0.0,0.0846008633109062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536980459138425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06932918102343888,0.07213637428854733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426835926680286,0.07717606306582832,0.0,0.0,0.08145189092954981,0.0,0.07238589024014921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07667382060845811,0.0946474224988238,0.09629751877365827,0.0,0.09677920410691614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493584534383757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06921812515722413,0.0,0.0,0.05591047455292187,0.0,0.0746694372936957,0.0,0.0,0.09057680496436267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082839856738644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753404170136228,0.12386845855193407,0.08323986010211694,0.0,0.1584735377738272,0.07374189396513824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045294050259614985,0.08316480908806524,0.1970808506593048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09228740241697334,0.07766081857713407,0.0,0.08897308158602825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0581091779890754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705763338406617,0.0,0.0,0.14293430782547029,0.0,0.09779463710546206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06123455419251792,0.16941728747303894,0.08689018908016938,0.0,0.0,0.07280114713216991,0.09698843927532844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157378706778276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873351102096444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3459917209867032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686377713008787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16988347658537886,0.0,0.09870172285338667,0.0,0.0,0.05874611546727102,0.13186942624090814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938811815522701,0.16551851431116074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09773448794993073,0.08302891216988527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09711714963381808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666152383552463,0.08913589727998232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578459699784647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068123879791108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063141894330934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607324724601834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151913169228328,0.0,0.08517644007183994,0.0,0.10110396711066856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16937493193105452,0.0,0.0,0.07487580308789922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834861865699442,0.1231698969556104,0.0,0.0,0.05582811016974937
bipolarreddit,USmellLikeShip,2018/03/16,Feeling like I’m on a timer Yes I posted this to another subreddit sorry if you’re seeing this again but I’ve come to realize that every time I’m manic I am incredibly anxious and agitated because I know the false feeling of happiness is going to crash and burn in a couple weeks. Anyone else feel this way? How did you overcome or cope with the feeling? ,2.547766599597587,4.884359028169017,4.81923541247485,78.57661971830989,78.43661971830986,7.437424547283702,27.044265593561374,8.418075326091056,2.2993364185110656,285,12,51,6,7,99,55,71,0.155,0.67,0.175,-0.2835,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,4,1,3,0,0,1,0,14,13,6,0,1,3,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,5,4,2,7,12,0,9,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,2,4,29,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426343860287216,0.0,0.2614067721544374,0.0,0.1617944655435654,0.2370881541198182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14105424027313831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19932347154345292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560305288011012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19329808430343773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949574976700929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4679944096428654,0.16530628568335234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13150524266896374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463207807259259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12716683380401195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304630270737928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22160929805029406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18438923652010686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590240778864936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349263683935258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18366797102827656,0.1856084744784668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BeBeKiKi,2018/03/16,"Nurse on Night Shift Hi everyone. I'm just no sure what I should do and I'd love some input (especially if there are any nurses on here). I am graduating from nursing school in May. I already have a job lined up on a floor where I already work as a secretary. I've always worked days. When I start working as an RN, I'll probably have the option to work days (7am-7pm) or nights (7pm to 7am). I still don't know which to choose. I know that working nights is generally a bad idea when you have a mental illness because it messes up your circadian rhythm. But days are faster paced and higher stress and I know that high stress is also bad I you have a mental illness. Either way, I'm screwed, but I really want this job. I'd love some insight from anyone who has experience with this. Do I a pick high stress job (days) or a messed up schedule (nights)?",1.6885091277890467,3.7803290747126472,3.1856727518593644,90.45307302231241,80.0919540229885,6.163083164300202,21.72954699121028,7.285733465282438,0.6218009465855303,665,20,144,9,17,218,104,174,0.135,0.7929999999999999,0.07200000000000001,-0.7622,3,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,3,0,5,8,11,1,3,10,0,15,5,0,1,1,26,24,13,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,8,0,0,0,0,14,3,15,22,3,27,0,0,0,3,7,11,1,7,15,82,22,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349621142085885,0.0851358784629256,0.08858309738448501,0.0,0.0,0.0723963273034033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443918047165714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777790033848098,0.06489691728767676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27463110315598793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10172691889729664,0.0,0.10413813061782644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22496128677828914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018017685357292,0.0,0.0,0.31693482879092777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1755225963955579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921682854911913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21457291504274395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3996213118403596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11478169045420132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820088584770663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774302003074693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535280754312856,0.0,0.08501894864510441,0.0,0.3658480875113095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033711912013787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06279275928271047,0.08450284869945426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38752007931635774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,howtodatedotcom,2018/03/17,"Is this bipolar? Im 30 y/o and i just went to a psychiatrist for the first time. I have been wanting to go for years but felt like ive never had the time. There has been a lot of drastic change in my life for the past few years, most of it for the better i think, but lately its just getting harder to deal with all the emotions at once. What prompted me to finally make the appointment was that i had 3 one night stands in one week. Whenever i tell a friend this it seems like im bragging, they say they dont see the problem. But the problem is i didnt feel like i could control my urges and i actually got seriously physically hurt because of it. I actually forgot to mention this episode to the doctor during the session. Still, she prescribed me 25mg of Zoloft which im starting next week... i did some research and i think i may be mildly bipolar. But is to possible to get to 30 before needing to be diagnosed? 

Im starting medication next week. Not sure what to expect. ",1.848907894736844,3.8788344749999983,3.6782631578947402,87.43978947368423,79.25,6.4105263157894745,26.02631578947368,7.475848149327749,1.3436,765,31,160,11,19,257,118,200,0.046,0.833,0.121,0.9427,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,2,3,4,10,0,0,13,0,18,7,0,2,3,32,35,7,0,6,7,0,2,3,1,1,7,1,0,0,11,4,0,2,5,0,0,2,4,4,0,3,11,4,20,6,23,20,5,24,0,1,1,0,8,3,0,5,21,105,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.2181052672602674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06812223362840053,0.0,0.09509167648820964,0.0,0.0,0.09883447686708023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11821749958690275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12533799361966366,0.08922389852684172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521013939549353,0.0,0.11342468166159288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143816508480405,0.0,0.0,0.1309710729890296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12570457771929544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056504548265869974,0.0798347741390724,0.10729826637560476,0.12241750884133283,0.0,0.09505514992464263,0.0,0.0,0.08633836955473903,0.0,0.11677033248311768,0.0,0.06351053925856814,0.0,0.08937730132418678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963151315011646,0.0,0.4828400429295739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12605973880031315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893287541665507,0.16378734795097494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500651045814806,0.0,0.0,0.07459450834311901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125771464262577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08286178175364689,0.08618908489973283,0.0,0.2376964284873269,0.1048705297025189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11901092546674336,0.15145043103643988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10667875712949217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598220503098015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138607938511551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886869956857123,0.0,0.0,0.08905089719005899,0.10173370613722532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581955437807412,0.0,0.08924431120155174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053237804810278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976751007016394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143210765324728,0.0,0.0,0.13032554813718394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06591350093051318,0.0,0.2689191867755784,0.0,0.0,0.10359408560780947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439276670790088
bipolarreddit,BpdBitchThrowaway,2018/03/17,"Medical marijuana- does it help or hurt? I have a few diagnosed mental health conditions. I was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety as a child and cyclothymia as an adult. My current therapist sees BPD traits too.

I changed psychiatric care providers and during my intake appointment the APRN suggested medical marijuana. They told me it would increase the efficacy of the stimulant and mood stabilizer I am on. They also claimed they would be able to replace the benzos I dislike taking.

My childhood was absolutely difficult but I don't really see how it would result in PTSD (the only psychiatric condition that medical marijuana is approved for in my state) 

I am looking for studies and information about the use of medical marijuana in combination with traditional psychiatric care and therapy. Is there any validity to the claims it will help boost my medication? I am quite interested in CBD for anxiety. I have used marijuana in the past recreationally and of course I like it. Just this fact makes me feel like a big phony. I'm concerned but mostly because I can't find much research on it. Any help is appreciated. 

",6.144879068378621,8.836558949238581,7.438041206330251,62.375479247536624,68.64467005076142,11.94493878769782,36.96894595401612,11.442366930564873,5.599811824425203,911,50,138,36,17,309,122,197,0.044,0.769,0.187,0.9864,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,3,2,6,8,0,0,12,0,17,8,0,6,1,27,29,14,0,3,4,0,1,2,0,4,8,0,0,2,8,9,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,3,4,21,5,20,21,4,13,0,1,3,0,11,8,0,2,5,96,29,1,0.11551094831750636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13882171269842916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237406363655364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15710281179020402,0.0,0.17673111859104673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0704144019604917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14548199575345785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355422204216934,0.0,0.12219526711475917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23448236211181725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108440928719407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05840580618499005,0.08252104455820533,0.0,0.0,0.10557491410492924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278273652604944,0.0,0.0,0.2322736613728033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365685922814824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11286562932912705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700010441097803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710445495914901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5818256403089235,0.11640786743905365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491383787342492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785128131814507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026827050530028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350261171808021,0.0,0.0,0.12286011205934128,0.0,0.0,0.07399927131906979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18409454111231735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684985761987545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209683628003535,0.13411711400218862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103756612303181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19952874380389116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461669905412281,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PartingWorlds,2018/03/17,"Lamictal - Vaginal Issues (please be kind) Ladies on Lamictal, any issues with itching, burning, yeast, or vaginitis? Label identifies vaginitis as a reported side effect - though I bet prevalence is unreported due to embarrassment. I am 33 and have never had a single issue ""down there"" my whole life - totally bumming me out. ",6.797924528301888,10.030614075471703,7.023245283018872,63.58920754716985,68.62264150943396,9.52301886792453,37.01509433962264,9.888512548439397,4.904678490566037,258,14,32,7,5,83,48,53,0.057,0.943,0.0,-0.4404,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,2,0,5,2,1,1,2,8,5,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,4,1,6,3,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,2,2,25,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707472110769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7862062064394919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2614676160900501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17734959294393773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19365313936039374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756172235587645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466908949424552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803287508094769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Still_awayke,2018/03/17,"I need help getting out of mania. Hey, this is my first time posting on this sub, I just need all the help I can get. I’m going through a separation/divorce, and I’ve been having a manic episode for about a week. Can’t sleep more than three hours a night and I’ve lost about 6lbs. Cant seem to come out of it no matter what I do. I did stop taking all psych meds about 6 months ago, before this all happened, aside from the occasional xanax and switched to thc edibles for sleep at night. It was working pretty well for me until this all happened. Is there anything in particular that you could recommend for stopping mania? I’m fucking desperate. ",3.09107822410148,4.9677524418604655,3.8937138830162077,88.03414376321354,74.96899224806202,6.551374207188162,25.68076109936575,7.348242739294969,1.1592883720930227,511,18,104,6,11,163,90,129,0.086,0.8,0.113,0.5279,0,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,0,1,0,3,6,3,1,0,6,0,11,4,2,0,4,18,25,4,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,6,0,2,1,0,0,2,3,2,1,2,4,0,8,1,20,20,5,19,0,1,0,1,4,5,1,1,11,67,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15267867183943398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173726993279498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465619260692817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14836786091442014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13751809729766898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14650562878116172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592313359878896,0.17997458314448905,0.0,0.09788687404820967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046191429491952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308951181338152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16961982093604588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188018218144553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19131768631641333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374787977650723,0.0,0.0,0.2554247181214168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32326755376981303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649564763038981,0.1752280551493345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15679908555915265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3447249504950769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2879975060208071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12950160610027425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043341360896538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381590041188674,0.0,0.15486272514062746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253913786533254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Hyper1012,2018/03/17,"Abilify is scaring me So recently I was 'diagnosed' by a psychiatrist.  I see a psychologist these days, we really just talk about things and I don't find that particularly helpful.  I swing between horrible depression and even worse panic attacks/spells of psychosis.  I used to drink to 'level' myself out but in the past 4 years that really hasn't helped things and just made the psychosis worse.  Also my current gf has a flat 'no drinking' policy.

Anyway after 6 months being on the waiting list at the ONLY place my GP would refer me too, I was given a 1 hour assessment and a script for abilify.  I have a long, LONG history of eating disorders along with the alcohol abuse.  This past 13 months I have gone from being a happy 78kg (I'm 6ft 2) to a huge 115Kg because I don't have my crutch of alcohol anymore.

I'm scared of abilify.  I just took my first dose.  I'm terrified of the weight gain.  When I was 16 I was put on seroquel and I blew up like a baloon which STARTED my crippling ED bullshit.  I told all this to my psych and he assured me that Abilify was 'completely side effect free' and 'weight neutral' but my pharmacist was flabbergasted and told me I could expect a similar trail to Seroquel?

So toss the meds and get a second opinion?  Or is it not as scary as all that?  Can anyone tell me they've had ANY positive experiences with atypical antipsychotics? ",4.062055137844613,5.7806467593985005,5.497368421052631,78.2099122807018,72.00751879699249,9.27719298245614,29.208020050125324,9.725611199111238,2.941889223057645,1082,44,202,28,21,364,165,266,0.139,0.738,0.122,-0.5684,1,0,4,0,1,0,22.0,1,0,0,3,11,8,0,3,18,0,21,9,0,3,3,34,35,18,0,3,7,0,2,1,1,1,4,0,0,0,11,14,7,1,3,2,1,3,5,4,0,2,13,3,29,5,27,18,2,28,0,1,1,0,9,10,0,2,16,134,40,1,0.0,0.14213024740675154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563965789854649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959301216122417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08157534294450827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896579520804312,0.08387720622946733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312509461422298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12577335601370054,0.0,0.0,0.0957764546772734,0.0,0.0,0.07736278640658747,0.0,0.1033193828999681,0.12175453058888265,0.0,0.0,0.1374819057577202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350257362948637,0.0,0.1227466646712352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923092311079813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173416392125439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10963915573895054,0.10203595010881687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267294212298381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276971919536315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608102224486049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11813416133211582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058605268195113136,0.0,0.0,0.21231756217597952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11350686703977562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332459514239903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19149816790630764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09123322899162796,0.0,0.14074450326646348,0.0,0.0,0.22902637781887394,0.0,0.0,0.12533025469523446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12059061131157944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536959362269857,0.0,0.11844374739093785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401971496043437,0.0,0.09559074821336568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490667062986881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09641744756553897,0.1048483086920302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15938911837636918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292494275561145,0.13327740776533012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036049292664809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.292152300048367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24449426942382904,0.08521450145159165,0.0,0.0,0.07724881960101418
bipolarreddit,throwawaymanicgirl,2018/03/17,"I got married too young I’m bipolar II. I receive no treatment because I simply cannot afford it. I breastfeed my 8 month old daughter and can’t afford therapy. 

I’ve never felt 100% certain in my choice to get married or have a baby. I don’t know what the heck I’m doing, my life is a series of rapid cycle. I want to have sex with everyone, I’m attracted to everyone but my husband, I wish I’d never got married, never had a baby (though I love her so much) and my mind is SO FUCKING CONFLICTED. I met him 2 months after escaping an abusive relationship, slept with him the night we met, he moved in within 2 months, we were married in just over a year after finding out I was pregnant. If I didn’t know my child, I’d have wanted an abortion. But now I know I’m my baby, I can’t put her through adoption etc - I love her so much but have NO will power.

Also, tonight I sexted with my friend’s ex. The ex and I are good friends but this was insane. He’s mentally unstable too. What the fuck am I?

I believed in God, but now I’m not so sure. What God would let me feel this way? I can’t control my emotions - I’m neurotic. But now it’s going to affect my tiny human’s life. What the fuck have I done?

Edit: extra info,I’m in the UK. Waiting lists for mental health are averaging on 1y-2y long and I can’t afford private/to pay for queue jumps ",0.4908421052631553,2.5204128035087727,2.978859649122807,90.62618421052632,84.12280701754386,5.343859649122807,22.48245614035088,6.588339656340683,0.5739614035087715,1039,37,224,11,30,359,154,285,0.131,0.754,0.115,-0.6865,4,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,2,0,0,2,12,11,3,0,12,0,26,11,1,2,5,40,53,18,0,5,10,4,2,0,2,2,4,0,0,2,8,10,0,3,6,0,1,5,13,3,0,0,12,2,39,8,22,38,4,32,0,0,0,6,23,9,4,2,17,141,47,2,0.0,0.14155150582483342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553950278656284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07282733580702244,0.0,0.0,0.1346009148745254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13399490393268834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225850459960827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13438680745527445,0.0,0.0,0.1332397755061051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22831594450955395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060407234055622976,0.0,0.11470919934119295,0.0,0.1091927149595228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18460326673646735,0.3313421435288709,0.06241774354048985,0.0,0.06789711851051977,0.1002051247961431,0.19110091934355772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699020847049064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19697149885803727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216538543923115,0.16876930535014165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572651208105883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2156512950667423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407937756063025,0.0,0.12062986888339243,0.0,0.2860776068896119,0.12697688821416075,0.17564726570966946,0.0,0.2764261135270202,0.0,0.0,0.1121137824776429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12536286356461745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12009957719021322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282652465586238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259833861876008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662348023930052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11737791523661373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14093209840029958,0.09482911663746728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738372242301036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848675156672686,0.0,0.0,0.07693426935662279
bipolarreddit,albuqwirkymom,2018/03/18,"What do you do when you have a depressive episode? How do you manage? I'm on effexor 225 mg lamictal 100 mg and depakote 250.  :(  I want to talk more.. But too much effort.  Sorry.

Edit: thank you every one who answered.  It helps to know I'm not alone.  ",-1.1419607843137278,0.7679473529411744,1.4278431372549036,94.91862745098041,104.88235294117644,4.619607843137255,17.43137254901961,6.42735559955562,0.10776078431372582,189,6,41,3,9,64,41,51,0.121,0.728,0.151,0.1779,0,1,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,4,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,1,0,7,9,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,5,1,3,9,2,2,0,1,0,0,7,1,0,0,1,25,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3815066960665111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172652900579597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3103566065059549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24690189022343365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20243933919538745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2707847323690953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24960819364679665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4123454331170273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2960713528278176,0.0,0.3391335772514171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172664652270717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MITAACC,2018/03/18,"[Trigger heavy, i guess]Depression is back again. And i'm scared. I was doing so well. I got back to school. Life was going fine.

I wasted 6 years doing nothing because my mental health always gets in the way and *DESTROYS* everything.

But out of nowhere it all comes back again. School is getting harder day by day. The first hint of melancholy has transformed into a cold apathy and desire of self destruction.

I cannot handle failure this time. Not again.

I usually don't self harm because i really dislike self inflicted pain even though i am a masochistic by nature but i still managed to stab straight into my cephalic vein just so i could bleed.

This is not me. But i never know at what state my mood is in before it is all too late. I feel the ""same"" as always. But all the signs are there.

The spark, happiness and light is gone and now i just feel this disgust. This is the darkest and most ominous my depression has ever felt even if it isn't the most severe it has been.

I want to rip out my guts. Bleed out all my blood. Set myself on fire. Just purely *destroy* myself.

This can't go on. I can still prevent this from getting worse but i don't know who to reach out to or even that should i. Everyone is too scary. I feel like i just need to hide and wait for this to pass instead of getting into trouble by talking to people.

Sorry if my text is a bit incoherent or rambly. I don't even want to think about these things much less write about them and it makes my brain go fucking haywire. I just need something external to tell me this is not okay because i never feel that anything is wrong even if it is hitting me in the face. Be it escalated moods or bedridden depression. I just never ""feel"" my own moods.",1.7837268847795151,4.208171116959065,2.7821163268531706,91.5794238975818,81.98245614035088,5.3347241978820925,22.108740319266637,6.643151254067905,0.5305287498024343,1350,44,272,14,37,428,180,342,0.19,0.7290000000000001,0.08,-0.9933,1,0,1,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,1,1,31,20,5,1,11,1,32,11,5,2,9,70,60,23,0,10,20,0,7,1,0,1,5,0,0,3,21,16,0,2,9,0,0,6,12,12,1,1,6,9,38,5,35,50,11,43,0,2,0,1,8,14,1,8,21,202,59,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16180958333321438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08001363010618233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22429615927873653,0.0,0.17781512708374067,0.0,0.08273724861299718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061521330198656,0.0,0.0,0.10854303980693984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837567363085291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07763181960044048,0.0,0.0,0.1254131591807337,0.0,0.25123727083695496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3211040098758933,0.08795188734421598,0.0,0.09290931818007436,0.08738582890152173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458170383723352,0.06946254183168073,0.0933579432892082,0.0,0.0,0.08270546762561291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08988939341846543,0.20319877377439952,0.0,0.1657775150330806,0.0,0.07776529211718004,0.0,0.10711198166548402,0.0,0.0,0.1035052446097638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335304185507788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10687230042339713,0.0,0.1096819020800857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06867781890349006,0.04750263124155951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490309783016772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798696083904566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147668872769794,0.1441925537682036,0.22497387810677916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932967016532031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346167596532888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740840829727833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06228929247119756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734616847876036,0.1968078978156255,0.0,0.0,0.3043024639434725,0.10984445492075376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748539241017006,0.0,0.10884323467329032,0.0,0.0,0.15529916047055897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815137781999112,0.0849850311667718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459660323490585,0.06230232304400876,0.0955299210263959,0.0,0.05669674610368381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10708728280592662,0.0,0.11469987521183445,0.07717821538335139,0.0,0.0,0.08742322194093922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990876885201517,0.0,0.1063079001107514,0.0,0.06261420354115395
bipolarreddit,Chorecat,2018/03/18,Would I be happier/healthier in a warmer sunnier climate? I live in the Great Lakes area. Winters are long and cloudy. Every year it seems I’m thrown into an episode triggered by the winter season. Has anyone found relief by moving into a sunnier more livable climate? ,4.232448979591837,7.099428979591838,4.607510204081635,79.48391836734696,75.53061224489795,5.5526530612244915,30.20816326530613,6.742157984588678,2.064784489795918,216,10,32,2,5,68,40,49,0.0,0.6990000000000001,0.301,0.9465,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,5,0,4,0,0,1,0,7,7,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,6,4,1,11,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,5,20,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24633506265768626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29682639169889713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3862767450886462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3884099617245865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110857269606283,0.3117727826965516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3744371870163126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32071901066533426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502625027471022,0.0,0.0,0.2268684625068368
bipolarreddit,TheLonelyJelly,2018/03/18,"3.5 years diagnosed, 1 official year off meds.. I was diagnosed right after losing my mother at 18. When initially diagnosed, I got put on a cocktail of meds hoping something would work. I was watched closely to try and figure out the cycle of my mood swings. I had a regular therapist and a psychiatric nurse I saw every week trying to figure it out. I stuck with it until a year and a half ago and decided being on a fluctuating list of meds(that may or may not work/have ugly side effects) sucked. 

Until a year ago I was in a pretty toxic relationship too, of course half of that due to myself. I had no idea what bipolar was, or what it meant, until I was diagnosed. I’ve since been diagnosed with GAD(generalized anxiety disorder) and PTSD to top it off. 

I have a vicious rapid cycle from manic to depressive and stable periods in between which I’ve been able to prolong. As stupid as it sounds, changing my diet(less caffeine/sugar/heavy foods), having a schedule and sleeping more regular has done fucking wonders for my ability to function. 

Everyday is still a damn challenge but I lost my mom to this disorder and I’m not going to let it have me too. I refuse. 

P.S. A hearty salute to everyone still trying to figure out their own medical cocktail that will allow them to deal with this shit maybe just a bit easier... you guys rock. ",4.914761609907117,6.505561854901964,6.071661506707944,75.43616099071208,69.66666666666666,9.446852425180598,30.67595459236326,9.811843763644266,3.2075490196078436,1063,44,185,26,19,355,154,255,0.128,0.816,0.057,-0.9563,0,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,0,1,2,6,6,12,6,0,14,0,21,11,2,2,0,35,32,17,0,2,6,2,0,0,0,4,7,1,0,1,13,15,3,1,8,3,0,2,3,9,0,2,15,3,22,2,39,11,3,34,0,3,2,1,9,14,4,6,18,133,35,2,0.1062288744166458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883309753736834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126479816751854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11597441782571953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11237606368672627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10951730502933904,0.09149477387636253,0.5391003571632791,0.0,0.0,0.24349498663910185,0.0,0.0,0.10870902040566087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08950240830980917,0.10150624184350757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284523766083201,0.0,0.0,0.09820688264891156,0.0,0.0,0.0603723173763514,0.0,0.08496093506335074,0.0,0.0,0.10518328695232368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550924139557323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991946899335874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862622131746047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188429381784924,0.11596136508321395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672118248269344,0.0,0.23599266378279035,0.10701441513036908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441397383035427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080729552514494,0.0,0.0,0.12417586950753876,0.10678935940071987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140500560770251,0.0,0.09071887832710678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10904241303874257,0.08787362265634821,0.0,0.1063055916393136,0.0,0.0,0.08178017739917398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1696690326611289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12333991078750613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21636729804734944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08521039543010574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152006828844541,0.1546717715102124,0.0,0.0,0.07546194453028185,0.0,0.0,0.27363164909545323
bipolarreddit,brooklxn,2018/03/19,"Differences between bipolar 1 and 2? So a week ago my therapist told me I was displaying symptoms of bipolar disorder and at the time he thought I was manic -- with that being said, what are the differences between bp1 and 2 other than hypomania and mania? And how can I tell the difference between a manic episode and a hypomanic episode?? I'm seeing a psychiatrist this week (two, actually -- trying to see if I should switch), and I'm kind of??? Really confused. 
I'm not sure if when my therapist said manic he meant hypomanic, or if it was just an assumption and I shouldn't even be here. 
I'm just struggling with figuring this out..",5.695,6.726089833333332,7.075000000000002,71.05500000000002,67.33333333333334,11.0,35.83333333333333,10.9516,4.3285833333333334,500,25,89,15,8,171,74,120,0.097,0.903,0.0,-0.8754,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,2,8,0,9,3,0,1,1,26,20,15,0,5,7,0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,6,11,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,8,4,8,2,11,8,0,7,0,0,2,0,6,2,0,5,5,63,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.1625155747375434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476245353190468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5219855072605203,0.19086522641212764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999576995269554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17342210958891827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668752918760097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31682864509898345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654160152944228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17410008080794875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15695865517983548,0.1730951614054492,0.0,0.0,0.14556021803115896,0.0,0.0,0.3867233625306778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322113574726981,0.09710875681523816,0.0,0.0,0.15913273697433952,0.0,0.11306733360988752,0.0,0.16268193568988756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26717102706577595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,poe9x,2018/03/19,"Seroquel to Depakote ? Hi guys...

I have taken alot of medications nothing worked but seroquel.. but the weight gain is so bad and the fatigue. I've tried lamictal (got the death rash), tradozone,  paxil, prozac, zoloft & more. My other physician suggested genesight and the only medication compatible with me is seroquel.. (allergic to others i've taken).

My psychiatrist picked depakote 500mg delayed release for me.. any of you had good or bad experience with it? I'm so done with medications.. I wish I didn't have bipolar.... if I can do it without medications I would.. feeling hopeless is just bad.

",4.048364779874216,7.142611226415099,5.221037735849059,73.36350628930819,78.24528301886792,7.684276729559751,33.361635220125784,8.59863814320734,3.5084427672955982,474,26,74,11,12,156,74,106,0.246,0.6609999999999999,0.093,-0.9669,0,0,0,0,0,1,33.0,0,1,0,2,3,6,0,0,5,0,11,12,1,1,0,17,17,8,1,3,6,0,2,0,0,1,10,0,0,1,4,5,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,6,2,10,1,9,10,2,1,0,2,0,0,4,0,0,3,1,49,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18195088609484106,0.0,0.1141974061997302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4206408353748898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17184956185635758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642666810044857,0.0,0.0,0.08490989432113921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408507886496266,0.13430807683722787,0.0,0.0,0.1662760064428572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6766827732912083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16113230251121333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12771749077606948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140126956368768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044921521415121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19310994013798388,0.1618774609087252,0.0,0.12225423459060315,0.0,0.0,0.11929186792379926,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,allieoop729,2018/03/19,Life is hard... Quit my job today because I just can’t do it anymore. I filed for ss but I doubt I’ll get it. Thank god I have a supporting wife. I am an Uber driver too so I at least have some income coming in. Anyone else have issues keeping a job down? I go to school full time so it’s draining. ,-1.9304545454545448,-0.06060131818181703,0.9294545454545472,100.15418181818184,100.06060606060606,3.246060606060606,14.175757575757576,4.935628992294339,-1.2207224242424235,227,5,55,1,10,78,52,66,0.052000000000000005,0.794,0.155,0.7579,3,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,1,3,0,7,1,0,0,0,6,13,3,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,8,2,5,13,3,8,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,2,34,11,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365362585978621,0.16677062939363374,0.2443800568301294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453925160540058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20545388057958644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992431760355108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461080278719207,0.0,0.13554982869646026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136566920498096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24894081887132985,0.4733655989523008,0.21199723808826898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168465547075373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25368305797736257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.241383249378196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706565229360908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195865039537212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907617484435328,0.0,0.2260780894020287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,314kee207,2018/03/19,"Running out of meds to try I'm so jealous of people who've been on their meds for years and they work for them. I, however, can't find a med that works for me. It's been over 3 years and I've gone through pretty much every med out there. Some work for a bit and then stop. Some I have horrible side effects. Right now I stopped Zyprexa about 2 weeks ago because I gained 15 pounds in two weeks and that's a deal breaker for me. So now I have no clue what I'm going to take. I have to be medicated or else bad things happen. Not really sure if anyone can help, I'm just sort of ranting. ",1.7944094488188966,2.935096826771656,3.114181102362206,95.35552362204727,76.79527559055119,6.33984251968504,22.148818897637806,6.742157984588678,0.2253691338582673,455,12,111,4,10,148,87,127,0.154,0.779,0.067,-0.8781,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,3,5,7,3,1,0,3,0,8,1,0,1,1,18,15,9,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,6,0,2,2,0,0,3,3,2,0,1,3,0,11,1,18,11,4,20,0,0,0,0,5,7,0,5,10,64,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12867804958550202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150119392606524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12120486136608374,0.08848988590529082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15848016353143146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965645644933098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12126487933011025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12230590652079013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267615492705426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249935554713175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12836697067397998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09729955435923436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6449725146233162,0.14623623319728582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671134904214223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10063759687567413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14768273850973748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299499667373758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239682245637409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24272517512609584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13681420619177193,0.0,0.10914434799837736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643970359339872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855600174665836,0.0,0.14180294720066025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328816588264225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31704070736708506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869601473714216
bipolarreddit,TheStarcaller98,2018/03/19,"Massive disagreement between wife Bipolar Type II, OCD, and GAD

I really appreciate anyone that takes the time to weigh in on this.

My wife’s parents did not like me when we first started dating. They were incredibly restrictive and would only let her out to see me once a month. We got tired of that and started sneaking around to see eachother. During that time we had sex, and for LDS culture that is wrong before marriage. Her parents are very strict Mormons, and are the type to judge the hell out of you and spread rumors throughout the church.

Come 5 months after dating, they filed police reports that I was a sexual offender/rapist, and needed to be imprisonment for the protection of their daughter. This paper they wrote up was so detailed i wouldn’t be surprised it was in fucking MLA  format. It was all based on things she had wrote in her journals, which they photocopied as well, and attached to the police report. They then destroyed her phone, threatened not to let her go to church because I was there,  

This went all through the regional church, and suddenly my family and myself were completely ostracized. Incredible restriction went by for the next year and a half. During that time they started using the money in her banking account without her knowledge at all. They didn’t stop until threatened to sue (which under the circumstances I was able to), which they then suddenly had all the money appear again. She was saving for when she turned 18 so we could get her the hell out of there. Which we did.

Once she turned 18 she moved in with me, we severed contact for months with her parents. They stated her sisters weren’t allowed to come to our apartment because they feared I’d rape them. Blocked anyone that supported us from Facebook and any calling/texting, and they went on like nothing happened.

Now she has gone a long time without any support besides myself and my parents. We are still active in our church, but one very far from where this all happened. She doesn’t feel like she has any support from anyone, so she started turning to her parents again. Her mom is incredibly manipulative, and has proven herself to be.

For the last few months she has been trying to essentially convince me that if I just let it go, talk to them, and suddenly be happy about it all again, everything will be better.

I was diagnosed with BPII only two months ago, and before that I had to drop out of my double honors meteorology chemistry major program because my depression ruined my GPA, lost my scholarships, lost my job. Since then I’ve been seeing a therapist twice a month, changed all my Meds around, and got my grades withdrawn and been recovering.

My therapist was appalled to hear this story, and thinks I’m completely justified in not wanting to have anything to do with them. I have told my wife many times, I will talk to them when I’m ready, and forgive them when I’m able to let it go. But after she goes to dinner with them very Sunday, this topic comes up, where I need to forgive them, start going to dinner, and fix all this. The thing is, she wants me to fix it her way and for what she wants. Which under other circumstances would be completely viable, but I hate them. I hate her parents for two years of absolute hell. To this day they have never approached or tried to talk to me in person, haven’t apologized. Nothing. For me, that is the first step, they need to initiate it. Then I will talk. My therapist agrees, and honestly doesn’t think I need to fix this at all right now and thinks I’m completely justified in the way I’m thinking.

Am I over reacting? I don’t know when I’m overreacting with my anxiety, and been in a depressed episode for a year now.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.


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bipolarreddit,FunnyStoryW,2018/03/19,"Stages of bipolar? I know bipolar isn’t just mania and depression. What I live with confuses me so much. Sometimes I know I’m manic or depressed, but there are so many in betweens and feelings or behavior I can’t explain. I think I’ve heard of ... hypomania? ... can someone explain the different stages I guess of bipolar, other than depression and mania?",4.275897435897438,6.796651384615388,5.3365384615384635,76.09762820512822,73.61538461538461,8.025641025641027,35.44871794871795,8.841846274778883,3.6512564102564102,280,16,45,6,6,92,44,65,0.181,0.8190000000000001,0.0,-0.8943,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,1,0,4,3,0,0,0,16,13,8,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,2,7,0,7,12,1,3,0,3,0,0,3,1,0,4,0,32,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6693921290013857,0.0,0.0,0.270665850762822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13099011154890247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2853872644363611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28474866198542786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22875750584214186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626493703897021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904412218856396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195033645139529,0.0,0.2562200774889357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16599720465530027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,vita_throwaway,2018/03/19,"Will lamictal help me more than lithium if I mainly struggle with depression, not mania? I have been taking lithium for about a year, since my last stay at the psych ward, and I have not spiraled into depression like that since.

But I can't remember the last time I daydreamed, the last time I felt like drawing, reading, playing the piano, anything that matters. I'm not alive right now.

So I'm thinking lithium is probably destroying me more than helping me, because depression is my problem, not so much mania. (I have experienced a bit of hypomania, it was very uncomfortable but I popped Seroquel when it got bad and it passed)

So I think I really need to try lamictal. What should I tell my ARNP? All my insurance covers is this pirate lookin dude who barely speaks English, so I have to do the talking",6.952994849153789,7.39587792715232,7.129492273730688,73.8307211184695,64.43046357615893,10.154819720382637,36.64532744665196,9.994966539143718,3.7691848417954392,641,30,111,13,9,207,97,151,0.142,0.795,0.063,-0.9179,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,7,10,1,1,7,0,13,0,0,0,1,20,21,10,0,4,7,0,1,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,8,4,0,0,4,2,0,1,5,7,0,0,4,3,19,3,10,15,6,13,0,3,0,0,6,3,0,1,10,77,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13349504559458386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544875815533772,0.09888914536998196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17710462353281445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4191652207371441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15575874859659036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974390991987955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21746823779980695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3966982252700997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15850714222162804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11925198004379332,0.12028570328668628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17490296531069832,0.15522473358294064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16226609625424665,0.0,0.10392369309406443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837661254476738,0.1385368695498495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683837548105508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17290727725108493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695898621264521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197090305975987,0.13038805677875578,0.14178935008210236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20789086670286736,0.0,0.0,0.1891861348155734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101382229630242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13385030149758748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10446577596220144
bipolarreddit,dreamoftheflood,2018/03/19,"Zyprexa and liver issues Anyone else have issues with Zyprexa and their liver? My ALT liver enzymes are through the roof ever since I started taking it. I have had a couple of liver ultrasounds that have shown no problems. I'm probably going to ask my psychiatrist about switching to another medication, but has anyone else had this problem?",7.892999999999998,9.470020300000002,7.7633333333333345,66.12000000000002,62.66666666666666,9.333333333333334,36.66666666666667,9.516144504307137,3.984666666666668,278,13,38,5,4,89,45,60,0.131,0.8690000000000001,0.0,-0.7904,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,7,5,4,0,1,7,12,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,0,5,0,6,10,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,28,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20874594218752696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783936663175266,0.4079486912245373,0.0,0.0,0.1861068672940308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22027106230948684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326007610989541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180073395088978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313806848581927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4155620657765677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005456267731776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21463492363296027,0.3809729443904767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16467567206696812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14090526135788028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496785112657747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,maeganwrites,2018/03/20,"Cymbalta and Abilify Hi, I’m currently on 15mg of Abilify and have had a great experience with it. Yesterday, I started 20mg of Cymbalta. Any experience with these meds? ",2.5874999999999986,5.490152750000004,6.336250000000002,63.88375000000002,84.0,13.2,36.125,11.20814326018867,6.597600000000003,136,9,23,8,4,51,24,32,0.0,0.8640000000000001,0.136,0.6249,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,5,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527291518088517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.72707393875671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4097363700334174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4128102324774298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26304996187141233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dowdyash,2018/03/20,Do you ever walk around your home for hours doing nothing? I do this often and then it’s like I snap out of it and realize hours have gone by. ,0.6015053763440861,2.389570870967745,2.523870967741935,95.37247311827957,82.2258064516129,5.423655913978496,16.78494623655914,6.42735559955562,-0.428879569892473,111,2,26,1,3,37,26,31,0.0,0.915,0.085,0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,7,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,5,4,0,8,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,5,21,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217399488238873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3269245973384936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3625331912835369,0.0,0.7118507403453773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17657129437583444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34679172377065365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,maryjanepaulobvs,2018/03/20,"Changing med times I take quetiapine every night at around 10 pm. I missed a dose last night because silly me forgot to pick up my repeat prescription so I'm running on 0hrs sleep. I'm exhausted and want to take my meds now (8pm) and then go back to 10 pm tomorrow but I'm wondering if that'll affect me negativly. 
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bipolarreddit,makeupthrowaway22,2018/03/20,"Extremely anxious about helping a friend next week I haven’t really seen any of my friends in about two years due to severe depression, mental breakdowns, and moving and all that stuff. A friend of mine had a baby not too long ago and asked if I could help her with something all day in about a week’s time. I know it’s really important that she get help for this, and I thought it over and said that I would. 

I DO NOT want to cancel. I want to be a good, reliable friend (which I haven’t been in the past due to...well...bipolar and anxiety disorders). 

I’m anxious about getting sick, about being around people for 7 hours, about doing something that requires me to talk to people, about having IBS in a public area. 

I’m going to take Imodium, I’ll bring Xanax and other meds with me, and I’ll steal away to the bathroom if I need to. I know, logically, that everything will be fine. But I’m having major major anxiety because I’ve been on disability and away from people for so long. Aghhh.

I don’t know if I’m looking for advice, support, or if I’m just venting. But thanks for reading anyway.",3.430997326203212,4.871051677272732,4.636149732620321,84.87334224598929,73.13636363636364,7.5401069518716595,25.668449197860962,8.124751697461798,1.5263556149732618,859,28,172,13,17,283,123,220,0.105,0.7390000000000001,0.156,0.9094,1,0,2,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,0,1,12,10,0,0,8,0,16,2,0,0,2,35,39,17,0,9,10,0,0,0,4,2,2,1,0,0,11,12,0,1,5,1,0,3,5,2,0,1,6,3,17,8,34,27,4,26,0,1,2,0,13,10,0,5,13,111,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11505237371287765,0.10436778074167996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800659906751068,0.0,0.18013875031095095,0.2660212307539663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481193017997904,0.1100692922501462,0.0,0.22123776637461767,0.0,0.0,0.07177209352930868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400434555698804,0.0,0.0,0.0759313771962157,0.0,0.10140771033538803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13493813923505646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581547230403793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3638568616908837,0.0,0.12302666512879536,0.0,0.06691331333361346,0.09875318806171872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2367522336949973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159483775147954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19411745166825106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20838914480454293,0.098870406796093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13078056087936007,0.0,0.11865237958096808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12513703811870802,0.0,0.08730135864993868,0.0,0.0,0.12521587584778393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123944023335174,0.2448744602266647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11777002818077564,0.0,0.15085216871380722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11199595816816743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13301061537698314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18128118556976067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134782032102558,0.0,0.13360787615279307,0.0,0.0,0.08852444855809885,0.0946334784390844,0.0,0.1083974851476282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347095276844612,0.06865407174685452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11501308070518028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13889004225653254,0.0,0.1888849107166856,0.0,0.10586075152352448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08363781545176241,0.0,0.0,0.07581951906773059
bipolarreddit,AnxiousPurpose,2018/03/20,"Venting about getting help Just venting since I would like to get therapy and psychiatric help but it’s so hard to start when I switch constantly from anxious and restless to sluggish and always exhausted.  



I have a history of severe depression since like 11 years old but the SSRIs I took when I started treatment in high school made me manic. Now I’m 25, a few years back my doctor started treatment for bipolar after I had severe anxiety as well but the medication I took was very powerful and the side effects were harsh and I was in school so I stopped... it’s now worse than ever, and as a result I don’t really have the sleep schedule or willpower or energy or mental frame of mind to get medical help or therapy. 



No matter what my mind wants it gets vetoed depending on my state, so ultimately I don’t get anything done and just spend the day unfocused. I also have severe agoraphobia depending on the mood/cycle I’m in, usually when I’m depressed, so I rarely leave my apartment. I know if I could just get started and get to a doctor it would get a lot better.


Thanks for listening",6.097053701015966,6.569929169811324,6.911509433962263,74.55627721335269,66.26415094339623,10.296661828737301,33.76052249637155,10.214889679676881,3.519098984034833,872,37,157,20,13,290,119,212,0.21,0.655,0.134,-0.9689,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,17,9,0,1,11,0,13,7,1,5,1,36,35,26,0,5,11,0,1,2,0,2,6,1,0,0,5,8,0,2,2,0,1,2,3,4,1,0,8,2,20,5,20,24,2,31,0,2,0,0,4,8,0,8,22,104,25,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941597934164903,0.08263159503274595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07596978150855728,0.11218893626235918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08172141283398045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636115249018302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782920068575445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10731586769656463,0.0,0.07928876580404648,0.0,0.0,0.06404496673017808,0.0,0.17106639374735705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032903756977658,0.0,0.10162580495435604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898291014374195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4150715536075459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08895979835232891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19969068769961856,0.10492357174205556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05457667257333197,0.0,0.0,0.1051520487070247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09703302132999657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08442748055118453,0.0,0.09396692984923527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20008323207697773,0.10007836000501633,0.0,0.20054404504555767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042062633013604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361877318177038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20100849624039085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3365668087870776,0.0,0.1642959821251723,0.0,0.09937897776265617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2811607569086784,0.0,0.0,0.08302531541577803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142878196420773,0.22713301132637864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22066803802423854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937291603741607,0.08193888917687962,0.058573994466650986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928915238605302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10120258122990117,0.14109005541018585,0.0,0.0,0.12790123807823986
bipolarreddit,jrt364,2018/03/20,"""Drunk"" on antipsychotics All antipsychotics mess with my vision. I feel like I'm drunk. I've been on 4 different ones so far and they all do the drunk vision thing, which makes me feel like I'm going to topple over when I walk since I'm so wobbly. That is no exaggeration. Well, my eyes move up uncontrollably and I get double vision sometimes. 

My psychiatrist insists that this is from being dehydrated, but that's not true. My pee is clear and always has been. So I know I'm not dehydrated.

I'm just so frustrated. It takes about 6 hours to wear off.

I know this vision thing is due to antipsychotics, because whenever I skip my antipsychotic, I don't get double vision.",3.3338974358974376,5.6206811846153855,4.610384615384618,81.30378205128206,75.61538461538461,8.025641025641027,22.371794871794872,8.841846274778883,1.6281794871794872,534,15,103,12,12,176,77,130,0.132,0.732,0.135,-0.3813,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,0,8,7,1,1,1,0,10,6,3,1,4,17,24,9,0,0,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,4,3,0,4,3,0,3,4,3,1,1,2,3,14,4,11,21,4,12,0,0,1,0,1,6,0,0,5,64,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042063035522453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14960370525013245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564081534699717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481800532311047,0.350651391854343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25644012934246,0.0,0.13947593156362104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24168595398253284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2697491331727224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397963466692421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16381751221366325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608390482429071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16630066600851307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20301117983364364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427233312429934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845227700388622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3260878199399809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22065903180064889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Mumdot,2018/03/20,"Obnoxious people in group therapy I’m doing an 8 week bipolar/stress management program. It’s the first group I’ve ever attended despite having been diagnosed with bipolar disorder for 7-8 years now. I’m getting a lot out of it and I mostly enjoy the group format... except for that. One. Fucking. Guy.

He’s racist, he’s obnoxious, he overshares, he tries to work in how much money he has into every conversation, and he just won’t shut the fuck up. Tonight he “shared” his biggest trigger, which was having so much money he has to talk to the bank a lot and he hates it when he has to speak to stupid people in call centers he can’t understand. He has to talk to the bank all the time because he has sooooo much money - like SEVEN FIGURES - and its soooooooo hard. He doesn’t attend every group, but he’s irritated me since the first time I met him - I’m legitimately pleased when he’s not in the group! Tonight I wanted to walk out!

There’s a diverse mix of people at various stages of illness that attend and I get along with them just fine, I just can’t stand this asshole. Thank fuck there’s only one session left.

How about you guys, any group horror stories?

",2.1607101449275383,4.580102513043482,3.4361956521739145,87.4957427536232,80.3913043478261,5.920289855072465,23.931159420289852,7.1686216300943375,1.0671159420289853,918,33,178,12,24,298,130,230,0.145,0.792,0.063,-0.9594,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,1,3,13,10,5,0,12,0,14,6,0,3,2,28,27,11,0,1,6,0,1,1,0,1,3,1,0,2,8,11,0,0,2,0,5,4,5,5,0,5,3,2,10,5,27,23,8,31,0,0,0,3,35,13,3,3,13,103,18,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09258268251936656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829922029683973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13901838687223195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13818343440459774,0.0,0.0,0.1560329772880394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12315016735028216,0.2294146164697528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23160826871209575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3775891857502259,0.14225938607635288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696082026269974,0.0,0.0,0.12195840634305888,0.13441415040925253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14792100444586204,0.0,0.0,0.0665131489911286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23148975537920616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3002448194435103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845095828887693,0.10354375194835996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2831556097302522,0.0,0.0,0.14944538036476634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11261983794744708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15595265026096033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21885500238375427,0.0,0.1253432308612002,0.15569268704699069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15877348358788335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09243293306386036,0.0,0.0,0.14173084918884649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08030134005033847,0.0,0.10920661553132324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09911455403771434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876723613038514
bipolarreddit,Crissygm,2018/03/20,"Looking for insight. My dad has struggled with bipolar since his teens. He's 60 now and I'm 36. I have some trauma from my childhood because of his manic episodes in which he became violent. I can remember at least 3 episodes where he had psychosis. My parents divorced but lived together on and off for years. Apparently my dad's doctor released him and said he was ""cured"" and didn't need any more treatment 10 years ago or so my mom tells me.

Well fast forward to this past Thursday my dad had an episode of psychosis following days of mania and there was a lot of alcohol involved. He apparently hallucinated that my mom was screaming at him and being horrible to him and he's hospitalized right now. The police found him wandering the streets at 5am. I saw him Friday morning in the emergency room and he was still babbling on and on rocking back and forth and seemed to be scared of something, I think demons possibly from what he was babbling about. 

Well he was given a shot and moved to the crisis center in the local hospital. I visited him today and finally got him to sign a release stating his doctors can talk to me. But he still believes that my mother was screaming at him and doing horrible things to him which are not true.

I let him tell me all of this and my mom was there visiting too. I didn't say much because I needed him to trust me. He thinks there is nothing wrong with him and claims the doctors told him that he is fine and not bipolar at all and they've given him pills to calm him down. My mom said he can't come home and she wants nothing to do with him ever again and all of his care is in my hands now.

Mostly I'm just venting here. I want to tell him he was hallucinating but he still isn't well so I'm guessing that's not a great idea. I feel he will come around and realize he was hallucinating but I don't know how bipolar works. I don't know what's going to happen to him now. ",3.5070542635658914,4.984403413436695,4.473041343669255,85.9694069767442,73.00516795865633,7.330542635658915,28.14547803617571,7.908726449838941,1.6813890439276484,1519,59,311,21,30,493,191,387,0.112,0.8290000000000001,0.06,-0.9717,3,0,2,0,1,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,25,16,1,2,11,0,32,9,1,1,5,62,61,29,0,4,9,9,2,0,0,1,8,5,2,0,11,27,1,0,11,1,0,8,9,7,3,0,22,9,50,9,43,35,9,50,1,0,2,0,61,22,0,6,21,208,61,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555098447518014,0.1031406743828574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06563064076441069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08591505681082394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421083354739781,0.0,0.11766415297216228,0.0,0.0,0.10873460124887603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0983991736188118,0.0,0.0,0.1662709848439601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06224146978626205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2963486224484569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08729952701200612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048798750838422535,0.0,0.0,0.10572284347978607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581909023850697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054849301091833134,0.0,0.0771884882152761,0.106403477071437,0.10631750629886136,0.0,0.08534416515194743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680818262945497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10894892472963066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10607960283027576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868881266173403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852207880275158,0.0,0.08104474941172485,0.0,0.0,0.08205001498393577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4521290423962162,0.0,0.10257568695324633,0.07094652891178435,0.1431230428672008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852093950918612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071638013277348,0.0,0.09213046115190512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880140487903446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10932790153498624,0.08241967988503893,0.18360770748287905,0.0767492469309907,0.09662412850070254,0.0,0.0,0.08785979058359117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.079834715587647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429871451758918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312209037888207,0.0,0.0,0.1008940233284292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757171022743821,0.2530640301642493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411747467020516,0.12368042341615218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914809359416185,0.09222018738932583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384911861118555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2603243485420738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026099820788069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055193888106884,0.0,0.12429955782491105
bipolarreddit,noncontributor,2018/03/21,I think part of the reason I'm bipolar is because I let external forces sway my opinion. Thoughts?,2.9036842105263148,5.532547000000001,3.6413157894736834,85.87671052631579,79.0,5.905263157894738,35.8157894736842,7.1686216300943375,2.7355052631578944,79,5,14,1,2,25,17,19,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,8,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815464335125521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4722845918769037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5001509075251399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4748704605174711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29594214744722075,0.0,0.3666663753960265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tmangione,2018/03/21,"Sleep Medications I wanted to know if there are any good medications out there for sleep. I can’t sleep on my own. I currently take 300mg of Trazadone but I fear it’s loosing its effectiveness. What are some other options that, I hope, don’t cause weight gain?  Thanks!",2.2867948717948714,4.98312742307693,2.9938461538461536,89.03448717948721,82.46153846153845,6.543589743589743,22.128205128205128,7.793537801064563,1.0415666666666663,214,7,44,4,6,67,42,52,0.076,0.669,0.256,0.8818,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,1,0,0,4,6,3,2,0,10,9,2,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,6,3,5,9,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,1,26,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14807126152809713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22367985792114545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450190197353537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18263071515040127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21626581895813587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11966469038342835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43870204775192734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6536943740172672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163714039675927,0.0,0.0,0.20046654312206907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284292094384184,0.0,0.0,0.2651497257935163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LilMeezie,2018/03/21,"Drug advice I am 26 and have been diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder after a manic episode that lasted a month and a half. 
I’ve dealt with it my whole life but never saw a doctor for it. 
In the beginning I was given an anti depressant and Adderall for ADD. 
The Wellbutrin (anti depressant) made me horrendously depressed and mixed with Adderall incited violent, irrational and unpredictable behavior. 
I then was prescribed Lamictal for my mood. 
All three of those sort of mellowed me out. Then I decided to stop Wellbutrin because it made me incredibly forgetful, even to the point f frequent black outs and loss of time/days. 

So now, I am currently on Lamictal and a very low dose of Concerta. The concerta is doing nothing. 
I have horrendous ADD and my memory is pretty much wiped clean every week. 
I am also extremely EXTREMELY tired mentally and physically every day which is not ok because I am a runner and an avid biker but I haven’t been able to work out in weeks because of this exhaustion. 

So basically, any insight on the right cocktail ? 
Thanks for bearing through this rant. 
-Meezy ",5.5695540201005045,7.762576391959801,6.397308417085428,71.34963096733671,69.0,10.40213567839196,34.5480527638191,10.550175099000144,4.397163065326634,878,44,140,27,16,289,126,199,0.227,0.6920000000000001,0.081,-0.9871,2,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,5,10,1,0,13,1,15,8,0,2,2,30,21,17,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,1,0,8,18,1,1,2,2,0,1,3,7,0,2,8,2,15,2,24,13,3,25,0,5,2,0,0,10,0,1,14,101,23,2,0.15411385681528614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15059827723314734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324479561538147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10480270742372967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28183913004448685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987813762491796,0.0,0.39821411714927823,0.15642232059631495,0.0,0.0,0.17662783170871266,0.15774206281370914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787231459944372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10179074894409627,0.0,0.2596951424860395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12562336260692195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088551747568521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916525152715801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15531051970383838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230122101780028,0.0,0.11329141732687267,0.0,0.11886210719385397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14787640208797045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14568740869120025,0.0,0.0,0.15678919731278654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13161239165644695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1288460850592801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1418873335058476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08986502925979993,0.17713120734498464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12716007198138055,0.0,0.0,0.2472416798653656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17206261741114834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11219672324870426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,bintthrow,2018/03/21,"ease my fear of medication? i’ve been diagnosed bipolar with psychotic features and some other illnesses for a year or two now. finally going to try medication in the upcoming weeks... but i’m freaking terrified. i keep watching videos and reading experiences about it, so many people say how horrible medication of any sort is and i just don’t know how to feel. i don’t want to totally lose my identity and my sense of reality, but i also don’t want to deal with the turmoil of my emotions and paranoia yadda yadda yadda... 
i keep fluctuating from “i really should give this a shot, it’ll be okay” 
to “omg, i’m going to become a zombie, become boring, and get horribly sick and die IMMEDIATELY!” 

any of you who are on medication, do you regret it? are you happier now? is it a necessary evil to feeling better and working for recovery, or is it a welcomed support? sorry to cause such a fuss over this, just anxious as hell )-: 
",4.749895697522817,6.209912881355938,6.919999999999997,69.70013037809649,69.90395480225989,10.417905258583225,32.82442416340721,10.560738912317856,3.951718296392873,728,34,127,22,13,258,109,177,0.312,0.5820000000000001,0.105,-0.9948,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,3,0,3,10,12,2,2,8,1,13,8,0,3,1,31,27,17,1,4,6,0,2,0,0,2,8,1,0,0,9,10,0,2,3,2,0,2,3,8,0,1,1,4,13,4,23,23,2,10,1,2,1,0,8,3,1,4,5,89,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10955058696142994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18631534185421936,0.0,0.0,0.1547593308047808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025886482619446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115622784282135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14072612323416125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14123033116445716,0.0,0.13904162808361709,0.14217364614826875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15409493672462965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340021802819242,0.0,0.15415146042405978,0.13853218311788648,0.0,0.0,0.1500654838602301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157144680713556,0.13141297092565735,0.15570876901953795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435254201035245,0.0,0.0,0.0752859382252144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15325639642985367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388860206483604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5520107085974715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949713862773351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13702673804237542,0.0,0.08775908830446091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10893968131692842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15334871635366967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15545425036227867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300699144669344,0.0,0.13381899898201688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16160010939087974,0.0,0.10988484753185136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973010889159743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821685396767798
bipolarreddit,im-a-scaredy-cat,2018/03/21,"I'm home here, thank you all I can shout, cry, or mourn without judgement.
I feel motivated to listen, reach out, and do what I can to ease the burden of others when I'm able.
Through reading the situations that sound like my own, I learn about myself and the dangers of our condition.

For all the salt on reddit it's been an incredible discovery and has definitely eased my adjustment process since diagnosis.
Thank you to you all for being as patient and as understanding as others are to you here.",6.219087719298247,6.964006715789478,6.856578947368423,74.10521929824564,66.05263157894737,10.12280701754386,32.675438596491226,10.125756701596842,3.242754385964913,398,16,74,9,6,131,66,95,0.136,0.7140000000000001,0.15,-0.123,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,4,0,1,4,6,1,0,5,0,7,0,0,1,3,15,14,9,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,5,5,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,5,12,3,16,12,4,3,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,1,2,57,17,3,0.2879694544174192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163209236736875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14560600866742332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28885684237481146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068732952935833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880473830415047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382113084883214,0.3236897322123465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5302471674223731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997863578368024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775922778444471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AnguishLanguish,2018/03/21,"Medication Shame Today,  a colleague was talking about how 'lithium, the thing used in batteries and other stuff' was also being used to medicate people with 'mental problems'. That those people would end up with scrambled brains. At first,  I was incredibly embarrassed and upset. However,  I decided that I needed to say something (I'm reasonably close with the other colleagues present,  although they don't know about my BP,  they know I've had depression etc). I told this individual that I take lithium and I suffered from depression and Ocd as a teenager. He asked me if I was worried about taking 'something they use in batteries' and I explained that there are many chemicals that are broadly used and that taking lithium helps me to be the best version of myself. Everyone was kind of awkward and I told them that it wasn't something to worry about and that mental health issues need to be discussed openly. The colleague later came and apologized incase they had offended me. 


My point is: don't feel ashamed because you are taking your medication. Be proud because you are working your ass off.",7.470307692307696,8.94234136410257,7.082564102564103,71.00076923076925,63.56410256410256,9.487179487179487,37.05128205128205,9.661875296680813,3.932897435897436,886,43,134,17,13,278,115,195,0.138,0.779,0.08199999999999999,-0.8954,1,0,3,0,0,0,19.0,0,4,5,4,7,13,1,5,6,0,20,6,2,6,0,31,39,14,0,5,1,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,15,15,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,10,0,1,11,2,24,3,21,23,3,15,0,3,0,1,19,9,1,1,5,103,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09010362703619612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533295765789637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1373674116403016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182421412306726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257790324792868,0.0,0.12886656497122162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940881755588368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09979380447064816,0.0,0.12565888128399486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10766276833397473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0569702660039547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09583860666883096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11976489355231583,0.0,0.0,0.07552155706465719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760012436702574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11733037942828595,0.12384298956432127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114231557786607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34051506514267577,0.2270934212242862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670894783851688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15622492960729312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065113043600478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781173097950827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584541351118703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960116679501229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602208534292745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12898229642686845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33886079581460976,0.0905613543402273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485416172963445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10679972674180073,0.21532553666794946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3892491638224801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820264389729969,0.2288474386133473,0.0,0.08003884002050297,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,maroontheanchor,2018/03/21,Vraylar Hey guys I posted this on another forum but I was just seeing if anyone has taken it or heard good word about. I’m on lithium for my bipolar 1 and it’s severe but I was wondering if vraylar is good too?! Stay strong guys:D -MTA ,0.16366666666666774,2.404171100000003,3.0,88.39666666666666,88.0,4.933333333333334,20.333333333333336,6.42735559955562,0.4289333333333336,185,6,37,2,6,65,39,50,0.062,0.711,0.227,0.8762,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,9,9,6,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,4,3,4,5,0,4,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,4,0,23,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232395617262351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21554394242307334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5171110434098245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3052278230389324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952297633846349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24564488560471026,0.0,0.0,0.3482482917877431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3285662529219075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342969654994559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Doggostrophic,2018/03/21,"What to do? I'm on an upswing, and I think I'm way too high into the swing now. I got pretty much zero sleep yesterday and I've just been gogogo since yesterday morning. Like super intense in everybody else's faces passive aggressive get the f*ck outta my way on a freakin' mission. I feel like I'm going to explode at the first person who opposes me but I'm also super excited and happy about everything and I just have so many great awesome ideas on how to improve my business and diversify my market to I really am going to change my industry if I could only grasp and hold on to some of these ideas for more than a god damned second. But man they're going way too fast I cant even write them down but I can feel that they're great ideas! Everything is just speaking to me so clearly and everything makes sense now and everyone knows I have these great ideas and wants to hear them.

But I know I'm manic and I know some of this is exaggerated but I don't know where that line is. I don't know if I want to know where that line is. Why should I stop? Why should I filter myself or slow myself down just for the rest of them? But I can hear it in my hubby's voice that I need to dial it back a bit at least. I don't know if I can though. I don't even remember what I was going to ask anymore so I don't know if anyone could make sense of this and figure it out and read between the lines but I feel like I have a deep connection with all of you so I think you guys know what I'm saying. I totally love you guys, like love love. Like I'm pretty sure I would be jumping all of you guys LOL. Cool beans, good talk. Have fun tip your waitress",2.139342857142857,3.453265705714287,3.714714285714287,90.69378571428574,76.22857142857143,6.942857142857143,21.642857142857146,7.5804360353943165,0.6125714285714281,1287,32,292,17,28,428,169,350,0.028,0.684,0.28800000000000003,0.9988,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,5,3,3,21,21,2,0,10,2,27,5,2,3,5,74,65,31,0,12,16,0,3,5,0,3,0,5,0,5,15,15,0,3,21,1,0,5,6,2,0,3,3,9,45,19,35,56,10,33,0,0,0,3,24,16,1,7,14,188,60,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613425191633382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08201505155510717,0.0578249687750839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731227461067064,0.0,0.0,0.06359032196381757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028574101650932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748443296970332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13205662777919028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908428945068049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924363986013198,0.0,0.0,0.07902230883723108,0.22297322038472708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254450918651437,0.11816017038470455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034361174163091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0432067433360816,0.0,0.1879986815505776,0.06936388376837828,0.06614183647963967,0.2735273695876557,0.0,0.2456546327134045,0.0,0.0880344788449868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864152609121483,0.0,0.0,0.08737589063403399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37342780669585257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4090421976001979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20201243912242287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239168614770116,0.0,0.11040426819811654,0.08384366831781252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06079318072656058,0.06132016001783405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628962128669181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220945847804051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16826895157834132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272124380454944,0.0,0.052979010107160884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368169209146553,0.0,0.0,0.06576545619454735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840935514982223,0.0,0.08275858844816167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913995357934882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0779427009182747,0.0,0.0,0.06647021456100764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059801860415861,0.08125121430675977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09755586565616743,0.19692752753956286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14924572412187884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05874690046473573,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,vodkaandnubs,2018/03/22,"Therapy suggestions? On and off meds. Hopelessly in love with my ex/bestie. Hey so I was wondering if you guys had any suggestions of helpful therapies? I've done the standard/""basic"" kind of therapies and it's just not helping. I have a kickass Psych who has me on a good medication set up right now. I've been going on and off my meds (sometimes I forget to pick them up for too long or can't afford them every once in awhile). The guy I was seeing threw me head over heals and quickly became my best friend as well as a serious love. Unfortunately we aren't talking right now (long story I'll spare you the details) and I just can't get over it. I've been trying for a few months and can't get the ""loss"" of a love AND bestie through my head enough to accept it. I'm happy for him that he's found someone else and all but I'm still getting panic attacks, obsessive thinking, and really deep lows. I'd like to not be as reliant on my meds as I've need to be. So that's why I'm looking for maybe some alternative therapies. Has anyone had luck with therapies like hypnotherapy, outpatient intensive, or anything else??? Even done at home things that have been beneficial??",3.801363853123508,5.331945733905581,4.95532904148784,82.59080948974727,72.34763948497854,8.611254172627563,27.536719122556033,9.150863307647796,2.2184527420123987,928,34,187,20,18,306,135,233,0.094,0.752,0.154,0.9402,1,0,0,0,0,1,32.0,1,2,2,2,11,20,1,2,9,0,19,7,2,1,1,30,36,19,0,2,8,0,0,2,1,0,2,0,1,2,8,12,0,0,4,0,0,2,6,7,1,0,11,2,18,13,31,23,5,27,0,3,2,3,20,17,0,6,9,116,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06656936066525207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06844779061341398,0.0,0.08055610200578478,0.0,0.0,0.1113653516779827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273075621657164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200353332778384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635510430585546,0.0,0.0,0.10114775908020572,0.0,0.06465620254874638,0.0,0.08247754293823169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10733262849958218,0.07563048446722685,0.0,0.15343230702598895,0.0,0.05563381469527285,0.08210647913668936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1938553214337103,0.0,0.10420698363332467,0.0,0.0,0.2009291888994914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13122879181914945,0.0,0.098192837213657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193860226474293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564937380694036,0.0,0.0,0.17326123141982291,0.08220393844668464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650518413387431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834484989685496,0.0,0.32620510600472125,0.09861506729933917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07813580762241952,0.0,0.0,0.07258507115857331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042509141226744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11485421037053335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271159790549544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671970693041593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800659812617106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294288093139368,0.0,0.09681688217606514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817602448281162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07868122412650537,0.0,0.0,0.5597354902092686,0.0,0.06503455164467306,0.06272471682224975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664616869055192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08801592897363766,0.0,0.08833156585329162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615881123809763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jclh19,2018/03/22,New BP1 I was recently admitted for a short involuntary stay at the county hospital psychiatric ward. My s/o took me because I had a breakdown last Monday & cut myself and was threatening suicide and really wanted it. I was so scared and angry with my s/o for forcing me to go. I was screaming and crying. The hospital itself was dirty and it was overcrowded. I slept for 12 hours  and then woke up to be told I was being “admitted” to my surprise because despite my arm being cut up I felt okay and wanted to go home. The unit I was taken to was the only available one and it was a schizophrenic unit. Wow the things i saw and experienced were remarkable. I left with a bipolar 1 diagnosis and it makes a lot of sense to me and am started on Latuda for about a week now and don’t feel any different. Cut again on Monday. Hoping for a break in this depression. ,4.264402697495181,5.224464606936415,5.993193641618498,77.77202552986516,70.5606936416185,9.466088631984585,29.44556840077071,9.725611199111238,2.7981834296724464,679,26,131,16,12,234,102,173,0.187,0.721,0.092,-0.9611,1,0,0,0,0,2,15.0,0,0,0,0,4,10,3,1,12,1,17,4,2,1,0,23,34,14,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,7,14,0,0,4,0,0,3,1,6,0,1,19,5,18,4,21,12,1,24,0,1,1,0,3,8,0,2,11,93,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21078172466648493,0.0,0.13229243752444006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23717698661227915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21369073952736128,0.0,0.0,0.16755520128987578,0.0,0.0,0.2032506918232657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836420338689493,0.0,0.1867868839012781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211207342618329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951373672905927,0.1932200215486253,0.19158063691086405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15857434657764755,0.0,0.0,0.21136598882964092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16538915900738516,0.0,0.0,0.12985555349780512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878859083016675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13182391027537502,0.1479548330521656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462595501989032,0.0,0.1920826990888068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19476636726613006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376949212135223,0.2073515087440264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21279287903164676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12924233122271495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858892925103089,0.21613875594992188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22948697796731116,0.0,0.1560465625891866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sum_bits,2018/03/22,"300mg Lithium enough for BPII maintenance? My doctor started me on 300mg / day in 2015, and in 2016 increased to 600mg at my request. It was my first time getting treatment for BP specifically, and it helped me get to the stable place I am at now. However, I am suffering side effects related to lithium (weight gain, acne, diarrhea, memory/focus issues, dry skin, drowsiness/slugishness) and want to reduce my dose back to 300mg. I am now taking 400mg lamotrigine, so I feel like that should be stable.
However, I can't find much research on levels that low. I'm meeting with my doctor next week, but in the meantime just reduced it and feeling more alive. I asked my partner and a friend to let me know if it seems like I am starting to get hypomanic. I hope that this can be stable, because it feels nice to lose the bogged down feeling. I want to be vigilant about distinguishing the feeling of a good mood from hypomania. Does anyone have experience with low dose lithium and or cultivating self-awareness about good + stable moods vs hypomania?",6.635303030303028,7.142976419191921,7.114696969696968,73.44204545454545,65.1111111111111,9.832323232323233,35.186868686868685,9.725611199111238,3.44339595959596,833,37,147,16,12,273,124,198,0.046,0.7120000000000001,0.242,0.9891,2,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,4,7,13,0,0,6,0,13,6,1,1,0,27,31,10,0,5,5,0,7,2,2,1,4,0,0,1,9,8,1,0,10,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,1,7,18,7,25,25,4,24,0,4,0,0,6,13,0,4,12,89,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10888562756829316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14558063269274762,0.0,0.0,0.11974190840001965,0.0,0.09492771845878692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100428899900027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187795986779653,0.1362748539818819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609042034209408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232765372031898,0.0,0.0,0.3936928931810028,0.11124903807521627,0.0,0.0,0.14232863510062185,0.13245849452508804,0.0,0.0,0.12031173965890125,0.0,0.24407760849627474,0.0,0.0,0.26122729245461845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043783095422274,0.0,0.0,0.15466876502780427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625350782012716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558166967024147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15923802767018538,0.0,0.15215746191582594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17421498095534904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447483285345895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16561391516599588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16269811608234447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14176500240205406,0.16245377486886775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204440641710282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11708483779995872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080373824087247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836997387107448,0.0,0.12491215418082108,0.18962950702756584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,colleenery,2018/03/22,"Great Day, thank you all. This group has been so helpful to me, I really appreciate everyone's honest sharing. 

Today I had my second visit with the new pdoc. I got a really good vibe from her during our first meeting last month. She spent over an hour with me and really listened and then presented a measured plan of changing up meds.

I think the new meds are working as I feel more like myself lately than I have in a long time. I saw the pdoc again today and my good vibes were confirmed. I think she can really help me. I brought in a print out from the mood tracker app I have been using (which I learned about from you guys) and she praised me for being a ""perfect patient,"" lol.  

I feel really lucky/grateful to have found a provider I have confidence in.  Just wanted to share a bit of the hope I have with you all.",3.812540650406504,5.015885823170733,4.5619512195121965,86.69747967479677,71.8658536585366,7.66178861788618,25.861788617886177,8.07648339933343,1.421713008130081,641,20,132,9,12,206,104,164,0.0,0.715,0.285,0.9935,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,3,0,5,4,12,0,0,13,1,13,0,0,1,3,21,27,7,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,8,0,0,6,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,9,4,29,11,21,17,4,23,1,0,1,0,18,6,0,1,16,91,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15912538058099596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15418817561314727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09399913179683624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1392739853108596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14739498367676096,0.10412653133424092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397809292811852,0.0,0.15981149937667774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24450271502342485,0.1165726147191297,0.1606940597518996,0.0,0.14431916004269688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953913760910999,0.0,0.0,0.14476639337058553,0.14353811588953727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880878622801612,0.16441661523725515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120793581695882,0.0,0.0,0.1289875109000952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3237991890176281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11633927861177015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2815398227573841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4668680265117873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13419050027905088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18678627708032464,0.0,0.0,0.08499020269111696,0.0,0.2763150865171931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12588447047057982,0.0,0.0,0.08596935726322256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611048957230107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,KAYREX_10,2018/03/22,"Every time I'm in an argument I question and doubt myself I'm currently in a fight with my boyfriend and I can't stop asking myself if my crazy is showing.

How do you know if your feelings are logical and reasonable? I've felt justified before when I wasn't medicated and can see where I was clearly wrong while looking back. I'm fully medicated and have been doing really well, but I keep doubting myself now.

",4.5670370370370375,6.035084901234567,6.136728395061732,75.11027777777781,70.35802469135803,9.350617283950617,30.78395061728395,9.725611199111238,3.153187654320988,331,14,59,8,6,113,59,81,0.156,0.757,0.08800000000000001,-0.6496,1,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,6,5,1,2,2,0,10,2,0,2,1,21,20,11,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,0,2,6,1,0,0,2,4,1,0,4,4,12,1,3,16,0,10,0,0,2,0,5,3,0,5,7,42,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313169746929189,0.0,0.0,0.1902611321487202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21054773263972645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20847344346987404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12510984095107422,0.0,0.2375750174554771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199303143210316,0.0,0.0,0.13598301196471713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20778187012191005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4985265546356826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771822116372554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15851227249395405,0.25440290656690884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19717250957527327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068655329690226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14428049687774647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22247248329252306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705297517772801,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,1blessedguy,2018/03/23,"Anybody found a way to put the depressive episodes to ""good use""? Please forgive me if this is an ignorant post or common knowledge or insensitive to the community.

I'm just wondering if there is any advantage that can be found during the depressive episodes, or derived from the experience of passing through depressive episodes. 

Either during or after the fact.
",8.806451612903226,10.361885935483876,8.155000000000005,64.20250000000003,60.61290322580646,12.006451612903225,44.532258064516135,11.698219412168324,6.0230516129032265,296,18,43,9,4,93,45,62,0.16399999999999998,0.7070000000000001,0.129,-0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,7,0,0,7,0,4,0,0,1,1,16,9,6,0,2,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,2,0,1,3,7,6,1,6,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,7,2,30,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548217099162522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5882690633227152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227025050893153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4992513344892359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19095670092233108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499105523575419,0.0,0.0,0.21804253592523148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288687239207219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19663162575608614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18071186779427748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24689569667353045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hclay24,2018/03/23,"Bipolar 1 side effects Went to the doctor for tendonitis and brought up to the second doctor of the day about me being Bipolar 1 and he was the first doctor in over 6 years to bring up: Hyper Sexuality as a side effect. 😂 I am
well aware of that and that's partly why I ended up moving away from Branson, MO area and deleted dating apps after meeting my serious bf. I said I didn't want to end up pregnant and he was worrying about me getting diseases. I was like oh yeah that's important too to avoid those lol 😂 it cracked me up but it was awesome that he knew to bring that up without me bringing it up. He sounded very aware of the impulsiveness and crazy boosts of energy I experience. I also got asked when my last mania episode was, ""right now"" is not a good answer but the truth. I'm trying to suppress the urge to go spend all my money, and I can't go run because of the tendonitis in my left foot. I've been hyper for days but I'm trying to be okay. Been off meds since October and I've been great up until this month. Manic Depression is weird but I'm a pro at it. Have a Happy Friday! ❤️ ",1.167583286278937,3.194538519480524,3.2940560888386976,89.33437605872389,81.55411255411255,5.575832862789385,22.16469038208169,6.7026698264267655,0.5539232448710711,862,28,182,9,23,293,137,231,0.079,0.7709999999999999,0.15,0.9576,0,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,3,7,11,0,1,12,3,16,8,3,2,2,23,32,16,0,1,6,0,0,1,1,0,5,2,0,0,11,8,0,2,4,0,2,9,4,4,1,2,14,2,16,7,37,16,2,41,0,1,0,0,8,19,0,0,14,114,27,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12491927018866618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460331468360564,0.0,0.14676231018748448,0.0,0.0,0.09522278610892752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20148213418796146,0.0,0.13454149428035705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4796557112132697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767073786900044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528011399007985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13287022059788572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08161209491868904,0.0,0.17755291256216185,0.13101963788384866,0.12493359647323755,0.17221958060271286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16628603983708531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12733015375737575,0.0,0.0,0.16972016241971138,0.0,0.0,0.07631520954113287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17351158038514627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246835247119604,0.1660241025325045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16915775595263968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340055319509453,0.14858932832099772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292166535761851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21210959824532935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128887741747935,0.09213537000319612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14044951462281793,0.14480613641931145,0.1409531853453952,0.0,0.0,0.15057868339365005,0.0,0.0,0.1586365385970582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10059266062958057
bipolarreddit,inuhasaa,2018/03/23,"alcoholism Sigh, unfortunately, I've fallen into a hole. I'm definitely becoming an alcoholic, even on my medications, as my reasons for drinking are not associated with my mood disorder. However, I'd like to know how exactly it messes with your body while you're on medications? I drink daily and I'm on Geodon 40MG a day, Lamictal 25mg a day, and Zoloft, 20mg a day.

Is anyone else suffering as well? I'm in an unhappy relationship but we live together, and I don't have enough money to support myself, so I've been drinking everyday to stomach all of it...I know I should stop, but I really don't want to....",6.020678571428569,6.041674091666668,8.402380952380955,65.35500000000002,66.41666666666666,12.857142857142856,35.476190476190474,12.28987398476788,4.819119047619047,481,22,90,18,7,176,82,120,0.127,0.7859999999999999,0.087,-0.5284,2,0,5,0,0,0,23.0,1,1,0,0,4,7,0,0,6,0,7,10,2,2,2,19,14,10,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,1,5,0,0,0,1,7,5,1,3,3,1,1,3,2,2,0,1,0,10,3,15,12,2,12,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,0,7,52,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3537579335145802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1157278590148223,0.16958370227240438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18279187340247266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18384337502259387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32021916468326644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18968784633922314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4864079258978352,0.0,0.0,0.13826167275221202,0.0,0.0,0.1710152146270338,0.0,0.1093172449532467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18191902132609533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080859419621766,0.0,0.14614762820529306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33346614997734003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10602941155531068,0.17017099090721113,0.0,0.17769490707571245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383730760191946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878178432358044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09762159587702697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14881261948758334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AlexTheGreat076,2018/03/23,"Random extreme passions - is it a bipolar thing? /u/renagadethrowaway recently made a post about extreme passions to things that evaporate very quickly and I was wondering if that is actually caused by the bipolar disorder as it seems some people in this community share the issue, or is it just a personality trait that has nothing to do with the disorder. I haven’t found any research on it, what do you think?",12.098333333333334,9.45904117567568,11.570540540540538,56.0415765765766,56.16216216216216,14.731531531531534,48.990990990990994,13.023866798666859,6.415482882882882,333,18,53,9,3,110,56,74,0.071,0.812,0.117,0.5514,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,6,0,8,4,0,2,0,13,13,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,11,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,3,3,8,10,1,5,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,6,2,42,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.21914925834156745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15271622971467858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306966538429228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.514756482619758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24623091142857345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343941605614176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21249485635422408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154822823358984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556895089659255,0.1960870546112661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150772913045655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22173713136733486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20444133723471414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2983904736084762,0.14389626349551154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18529489591073856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435380667811785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BabyGirlR,2018/03/23,"Struggling with new medication, and shame. I was diagnosed with bipolar ii three years ago. This is the first time I've been on mood stabilizers. I had a lot of shame when I was diagnosed, and they started me on anti-depressants. After awhile, I stopped taking them. Stopped going to my CBT appointments. Essentially went MIA because I felt like everyone around me was treating me like I was crazy.

My highs and lows have been out of control lately. After struggling with self harm when I was depressed, and nearly quitting my job and deciding to move to another state (I didn't.) I decided I needed some help.

So, now I'm on 300mg of seroquel. I just started it so I need to give it some time, but every fiber of my being says 'flush them.' I feel like I zombie, and I'm wondering if maybe I can just learn to cope instead of being on medication. I smoke weed sometimes to help curb my anxiety, and help me sleep. Sleep isn't an issue now. 

I know there is a good chance I'll gain weight, and I'm already pretty overweight so that idea alone makes me feel really shitty. 
I'm ashamed to be on medication again, so nobody in my family knows. Just this thread, and one friend, now...

I feel alone in all of this, so I suppose that's why I'm writing here. Thoughts? Suggestions?

*edit, added a sentence and spelling correction",3.1959986413043486,5.3359858281250006,4.192275815217393,84.8305774456522,75.484375,7.420923913043477,26.755434782608692,8.321376580360154,1.8812430706521728,1036,40,201,19,23,335,148,256,0.153,0.7120000000000001,0.135,0.2065,1,2,1,0,0,0,41.0,0,0,3,4,18,15,0,5,5,0,17,10,2,2,2,45,39,19,0,3,5,0,5,3,1,0,7,1,0,1,7,15,2,4,12,0,0,3,2,8,0,3,12,6,33,6,28,24,4,35,0,2,0,0,12,12,0,5,22,126,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09793520981642018,0.0,0.0,0.2288510901257069,0.1219191150864628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11584951672940907,0.08451806765651232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09835198468813393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734851492295355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12391442975510038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19031515891441814,0.2242728536232937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308545362231388,0.10556983600701217,0.0,0.0,0.10415215339626854,0.0,0.16758834272187578,0.07892802674095448,0.10607959412522476,0.0,0.0,0.09397553254235087,0.0,0.0,0.08535775562057638,0.0,0.0,0.1059839502702312,0.06278919925545802,0.0926666651732538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221603210938648,0.11672980176017865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472019893313192,0.0,0.11531401278220133,0.10963587043644643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143551852918293,0.0,0.1246279774983335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16192708400959435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09392744551318907,0.0,0.0,0.0737472788358847,0.0,0.11099354609682048,0.0,0.0,0.33389555313603553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174243813260158,0.0,0.16384130841685784,0.0,0.10670374963278513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486514366502657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239943431536296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751070604997738,0.0,0.0,0.07077729683078685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785934665216474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11525633038148013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22112263585312814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092690576682977,0.0,0.15639879043279334,0.0,0.0,0.1847350113735312,0.0,0.2309985654638301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08306836057842915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770999350628829,0.12884533662589656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345367390181511,0.0,0.10241748470177252,0.09969239605962524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981250590241913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711464827105678
bipolarreddit,wasteoide,2018/03/23,"Disengaging from my friends Fuck. Fuck man. I feel like shit. I feel like I'm pushing away the people who can help me the most because I feel like a drama queen and I feel like I am a burden to them and I feel embarrassed because I don't want to make a spectacle of myself.

We have a weekly game night on Thursdays. Last night I really wanted to bail - I left work half an hour late and the day started off shitty - but my friend asked if I could bring him a sixer of something, and I'm always there for my friends when they need me. So I snagged it and showed up. Felt flighty, left an hour in when I realized I just couldn't people anymore.

Cried the whole way home. Depressed as fuck.

I don't want to change my meds right now. Last time I changed them I got real fucked up. I'm on Lamictal 150s. I close on a house in three weeks, and I'll have a real bed, instead of sleeping on a pull out couch. I won't be in direct contact with my family constantly. Gaslighting. Half-apologies. It's frustrating.

I think I'm not sleeping enough. It's been this way for 8 months now. 9 months. I just need a good nights sleep, maybe I should get a hotel for a couple of days just to get some fucking sleep finally. But honestly I don't want to spend the money when I'm close to getting the house. I'll need to buy out fuel, pay for utilities & cable 'installation' (even tho I have my own modem), and my first mortgage payment is 18 days after closing. It feels tiring.

Like, I'm not stressed about the house. At all. My mother is. She picks at it like, 'I don't think you're going to like the commute' 'Are you picking out the shingles for the roof? No? That's a mistake.' 'You can't put a roof on in winter.' And she was stressed about it *for me* in the beginning because she thought it was a 2 bedroom house *even though I sent her the listing that showed it was a 3 bedroom*. And she was stressing ME out, where I had all my shit in order.

I've had all my shit in order so much that I haven't had to gather paperwork or do anything for the past 3 and a half weeks. I've been twiddling my thumbs, just *waiting*.

And I texted a couple people from game night, who haven't texted me back. And I'm stressed about it. And I'm worried they all collectively decided I was crazy and to stop talking to me because that's what I tell myself when I'm depressed - that I'm useless and a burden and everyone would be better off without me.

Even my friend who I was supposed to babysit for on Saturday hasn't gotten back to me. I feel so alone, and I feel like I'm doing it to myself. Because I am.

 

Edit: Heard back from one friend. Still on for babysitting at least. She's awesome. People don't hate me.

But I still feel crappy.",1.0456186612576062,3.160879976827097,2.5063055504333387,94.32124331550804,82.5650623885918,5.223689224906264,21.793625914315577,6.398798736517818,0.27092633843506064,2101,68,463,19,58,681,243,561,0.14300000000000002,0.731,0.126,-0.8698,3,1,1,0,0,0,75.0,1,2,4,4,30,37,10,5,33,0,38,13,7,3,4,78,89,32,0,13,12,1,10,8,5,3,1,1,5,1,20,26,0,2,15,6,4,6,15,21,0,5,17,11,73,16,64,65,11,83,0,3,0,5,34,33,8,4,48,295,93,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06056938787502277,0.0,0.0,0.04866144628268621,0.0633648806033677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05799811641768556,0.0,0.0,0.04812544329066926,0.0,0.05467248045772312,0.0,0.05494546758390068,0.13490641631130942,0.0,0.17824945998441233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051722297379439564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12373173538037245,0.0,0.0,0.063197924826778,0.0,0.0466928662875876,0.12941774287663368,0.06423938421426904,0.11314754508787872,0.0,0.10074037814241664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06042721311469566,0.0,0.11587980295743235,0.0,0.0,0.0558817556123408,0.0,0.0,0.05513132730643552,0.0,0.2661308712511126,0.2088966350676795,0.056151588167365984,0.06406382668728985,0.0,0.04974449086690269,0.0,0.0,0.2259140214488033,0.27032687428705765,0.09166279905407464,0.0,0.033236488949883534,0.04905166222175833,0.04677314541036566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05773855583478441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039199040305736274,0.0,0.058661897748434035,0.0,0.1151853577721889,0.26992004754007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953407564488665,0.06596988727499388,0.0,0.12708104241005402,0.0,0.0,0.2285695757524802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03903697844816513,0.0,0.0587527124425733,0.0,0.0649599676054734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09335904506485096,0.0,0.04299076701562954,0.13009028386975324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21952439656893472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0396287028606724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05582738509094518,0.16217534570147155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05879024556174275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331299202122397,0.03746486452946109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04994303893071688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18009182586639175,0.0,0.0,0.23409567665294806,0.0,0.0,0.04502205780015113,0.0,0.0,0.0413936372149453,0.0,0.09340709739573434,0.04889330678667045,0.2679622875198483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04700536266599218,0.05111556984159656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494540394061516,0.057457957985619576,0.046427924938264004,0.034101140465160384,0.06721609320319738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13797605064608795,0.09284007794115946,0.1407314389709322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529271212028072,0.0,0.05637425682835698,0.0,0.0425753627495487,0.05939098926674009,0.0,0.041543710669285784,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,renagadethrowaway,2018/03/23,"Obsession/Strong passion that quickly goes away For a lot of my life I have become completely obsessed with many things. They feel like passions. They feel like it's the best thing ever. But then I suddenly lose interest. It happens on small and large scale. Small obsessions go from being completely obsessed with one music artist or style of music for maybe a month or less to a point where I can't think of anything else. I play the same stuff over and over and over again and eventually lose interest and move on. This happens to a lot of people but it spreads to other things. A lot of my hobbies are like this. Sculpture, painting, working out, video games, there's do many. On a larger scale: When I was in college I switched my major 4 times because I would get completely obsessed and passionate with the major then suddenly I would lose so much interest that it became hard to go to class, focus, do homework etc so I would eventually switch majors. My last major I decided to stick with because I couldn't afford to change any more so I just dealt with it and did the minimum to get my degree. This happens with jobs too. I'll really truly love a job, work there for 6 months and then start dreading it every day. 

My hobbies do this, my interests do this, my life is just like this and I don't want it any more. I try so hard to be passionate for things and sometimes these passions come back for a bit but nothing sticks. Ever. It never has.

 Does this happen to anyone else? Does anyone have any advice? I'm 26 and I can't keep living my life like this. ",2.8859601081812016,5.164374323529412,3.6415122830741495,87.74852941176472,77.00653594771242,6.573630831643001,24.27721433400947,7.6298220110432995,1.2429737660581472,1237,42,240,18,29,392,155,306,0.07200000000000001,0.7509999999999999,0.177,0.9899,3,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,2,6,16,25,0,5,12,0,20,9,0,0,3,43,37,24,0,5,7,0,4,5,0,3,3,0,1,0,25,19,0,1,4,4,0,4,5,8,0,1,2,4,26,17,36,29,15,35,0,3,0,6,4,13,0,5,23,166,51,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702724659210223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18168915136455546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12454399306277687,0.09125128391370843,0.07328781922295269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367369150426626,0.06848073406080236,0.0,0.10857885813975952,0.09835846790379896,0.0,0.0,0.09346173539649016,0.0,0.09722916363832908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421242106726836,0.07671628622696014,0.2801294299669231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05743557020235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587194424080847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487944299556595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932412412823564,0.0,0.16111759987508328,0.07503589555979727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006162898119205,0.12724727528975502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930591136718918,0.0,0.10122835769232266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150176758857679,0.0,0.15955841666616102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17675427048044431,0.07915956978093988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259482350117713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887146316101248,0.21754820062694588,0.0,0.07864056826200354,0.0,0.0,0.29890211220842,0.0,0.2271438678374788,0.08037906067562547,0.0,0.0,0.18058332700442092,0.08947155338066819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14217179831914106,0.09465542972055307,0.06546847874767325,0.0,0.06868765103602131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545433816443472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060348560194066064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06174217111312149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418936972237026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05705335953507791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08808144860509565,0.0,0.0630362900320042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10195103990854093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23666688657990495,0.05706529477990172,0.0,0.0,0.05193091318894395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060465091705087674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05252919851445816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12967176093089725,0.0,0.0,0.1897944880627151,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,artisticpenguin,2018/03/23,"Anyone else’s sleep schedule totally screwed up? I mean, generally. When anyone asks what my sleep schedule is, I basically say it’s either nonexistent or incredibly erratic. It’s been this way for as long as I can remember. Can anyone else relate?",4.003333333333334,7.044391555555558,6.013333333333335,67.98000000000002,77.8888888888889,9.822222222222225,31.222222222222214,9.888512548439397,4.269355555555556,200,10,31,7,5,69,33,45,0.092,0.908,0.0,-0.5931,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,4,3,2,0,1,6,6,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,4,5,2,6,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,1,4,20,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4600977135917801,0.4494744500427164,0.0,0.0,0.2050509871108171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3664567319238148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941068165871384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23892287693904385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24846667019308386,0.0,0.0,0.17442601163132634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4389918764814417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17409992619596568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,greatbooks28,2018/03/23,"I gave up my old career in return for a happier, healthier life. I went to medical school as a healthy, bright 18 year old, but within the first year I had my first major depressive episode and suicide attempt. At 19 I had my first manic phase - a month long binge with multiple sexual partners, drug use, and irrepressible urges to study all night. Spontaneous and irresponsible acts were my forte; I decided that Morocco was my spirit country, and whisked myself off the next day. I gained a reputation amongst my friends as mercurial and fun, but inside I was imploding; my second suicide attempt followed the month after.

In my mind the problem was Medicine. This stressful, hypercompetitive environment was obviously causing my mood swings; no way was this an organic health problem. So I left med school at the beginning of 4th year, and began teaching Maths - and I was great at it! This career change had solved all of my problems, and I was tippety top flying high fantastic! Life couldn't get better, right?

Wrong. The depression came back, harder than ever, sending me spiralling down into a deep, dark chasm. I was admitted to hospital and diagnosed properly, treated and sent on my way a month later, armed with mood stabilisers, CBT worksheets and a new found passion for yoga. I thought I could just ride the wave, surfing with the sun on my face when times were good, and paddling against the tide when times got bad. I never imagined I'd be dragged under again.

But I was. The stress of teaching caught up. The long hours, the constant need to be 'on' and engaging, the marking, the data tracking, the free time spent planning, the expectations, the meetings - they slowly pulled me down until I was drowning, exhausted from fighting the tide, and ready to accept defeat.

But three months ago I stopped fighting. I left teaching, and I felt the wave pull me up, lifting me toward the surface. Each day that I got up was a victory that brought me closer to sunlight. I chose to leave behind the stress that was threatening my survival and anchoring me to the ocean floor and I put myself first. 

In a few weeks time I start a job working part time as an activities coordinator for the same psychiatric hospital group that I was admitted as an inpatient to. I tutor for an online company, and I'm happy.

I'm not dipping and diving on the surf with the wind rushing past, but I'm not inhaling salty foam beneath the surface either. I'm just sitting on my board, content to be.",7.1459314033983645,7.927174376651982,7.004056010069224,73.7263986784141,64.04405286343612,10.009943360604154,36.69886721208307,9.957137785484203,3.7776365009439896,1973,93,336,40,28,626,252,454,0.16699999999999998,0.7070000000000001,0.126,-0.9766,2,0,1,0,4,2,64.0,0,0,1,13,8,28,2,3,40,0,23,10,2,2,5,61,48,32,3,7,10,0,1,0,2,0,7,0,0,1,9,26,0,1,8,1,2,13,5,14,0,6,31,3,48,13,54,12,8,93,1,3,1,1,12,33,0,0,44,223,57,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878579118636013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834239572458994,0.07421017748652524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07860617334464579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165379558036426,0.0,0.0913031235291954,0.0940221019978288,0.0,0.0,0.09604652704252002,0.0,0.07096257759848656,0.0,0.0,0.1146390885340483,0.0,0.15310255012407514,0.0902102228986668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030713185678756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039606262896176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533769180206044,0.0,0.0,0.3024014222213786,0.0,0.09745113744985988,0.06866762549511128,0.0,0.046435562202774026,0.0,0.0,0.07454741298825747,0.14216916735268825,0.09798931219178396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09461325253323087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09447412530620344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390544834632808,0.0,0.0,0.08752782318796365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819860406622075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094109932729351,0.1931343918314409,0.0,0.12555560537720714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731007722307733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09872443284176767,0.08953615142344616,0.0,0.0,0.0897423627051431,0.0,0.2837691924556886,0.0,0.0,0.06590258568306209,0.0685488947056025,0.0858398052460266,0.09452372923573098,0.08340683633735868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865269302853424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09624719848750872,0.08484497658028586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255135340914929,0.0,0.08934785320339761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07590210362749479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17990040414635722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0629089500493999,0.0,0.0,0.07430674860536536,0.3054314738006893,0.0,0.0,0.19443820410937904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07055992677502616,0.25913003621916425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676284173841864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14109588378172466,0.07129330061550335,0.0,0.0,0.0823916401330178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064704905119558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717513578541126,0.0,0.17170531234841846
bipolarreddit,totential_rigger,2018/03/23,"Any experiences of how long my insomnia will last from stopping Seroquel? I am now on the lowest possible dose of 25mg. I'm finding it really hard to stop though. I don't seem to be getting any other withdrawals apart from insomnia. It's relentless and I'll just not sleep a single minute. After a couple of nights I end of caving in and taking my seroquel.

Does anyone have any experience of how long the insomnia lasts or any advice? ",3.9801344537815098,5.904572929411768,5.5268907563025245,77.06529411764707,72.6470588235294,8.621848739495798,27.43697478991597,9.23628265651192,2.574932773109244,349,13,62,8,7,118,62,85,0.109,0.8759999999999999,0.015,-0.7591,1,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,0,5,5,1,2,0,11,9,6,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,12,7,1,13,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,10,39,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17310998229433866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4818752288496266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12386815209157788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19601429736842552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15502610138971826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15690327310488444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465754921042689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16191287512737138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255412615530216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586925690838671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.288803543787857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31354625726778085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624428533615065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997112220168813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134875162170898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612716872829408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772790135115177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962124655486764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331955632723581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17405003382745887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sweet-tea-Sarah,2018/03/23,"Bipolar or ptsd? Some of the symptoms are so similar, how do you know which one you have?",1.125,3.451149277777777,2.342222222222226,94.30000000000004,84.0,5.822222222222222,25.66666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.141466666666667,69,3,15,1,2,22,17,18,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,1,0,4,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068396809877977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37833406696018607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.65264962746099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5803113024262949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FrankManic,2018/03/23,"CBT? DBT? Anyone had good experiences? I'm running out of drugs I can try. Vibryd, Lamictal, Latuda, and welbutrin worked for two years but then I crashed and i'm back to zero. Have tried many drugs but pdoc is useless for therapy otherwise. Want to try other therapy stuff in concert with drugs. Does anything work on bipolar?",1.9015000000000024,4.649339483333336,2.8766666666666687,85.12500000000001,95.83333333333334,5.7333333333333325,26.0,7.1686216300943375,1.936700000000001,259,12,44,5,10,82,48,60,0.076,0.868,0.056,-0.504,0,0,3,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,7,7,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,2,1,1,2,1,9,6,0,7,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,25,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12391218931485308,0.0,0.1458320695635606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13626667131324513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550812157909998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6165361342779775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17334935277698582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14863874342158312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17966723928306105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20286769754725245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40531943782250063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3609501368656563,0.0,0.17311238379847388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452544246915464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580278886860584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412004272725748
bipolarreddit,popcornbits,2018/03/23,"How do you know if your emotions are real? Hello, BP2 here. 

This might tap into a more philosophical topic, but I can't tell the difference between my actual emotions and my mental disorder. Being BP2, its hard to tell whether I'm actually motivated and happy for once rather than hypomanic. The depressive episodes are easy to tell apart from reasonable sadness because I've suffered from severe depression (before my BP symptoms manifested) so I can tell the signs more easily. But with mania, I just don't know. 

I can never tell when I'm actually getting better or if I'm just being hypomanic. I don't know if I'm actually genuinely excited about life because I've finally gotten a handle on my mental illness, or if my mental disorder is just playing tricks on me and secretly transitioning me into a hypomanic episode. 

I feel like I'm going crazy, having relapsed multiple times over the years.

So I guess my question is, can you tell the difference between genuine emotion and your regular BP symptoms? If so, how?",7.09070409982175,8.17818002673797,8.408355614973264,62.53449420677365,64.24064171122997,11.580926916221035,38.57798573975045,11.374738998889045,5.11400926916221,823,43,125,25,12,284,106,187,0.175,0.69,0.134,-0.8317,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,4,0,2,12,10,1,0,8,0,15,4,0,4,1,36,28,20,0,6,14,0,2,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,8,1,0,1,4,5,0,0,1,2,19,5,15,24,2,12,0,4,0,0,13,6,0,10,6,87,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.3887345125876375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214159732067214,0.0,0.08474214532992969,0.0,0.0,0.08807758903394826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715501838609254,0.0,0.0,0.2080967542858864,0.2282732005196152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33606965363724883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05035473994973767,0.07114576461709791,0.0,0.1090939050427451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05203067634807916,0.0,0.05659821707422626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10970752918471263,0.0,0.0,0.1060133933406223,0.08921138412557818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16419305994665492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034202620979954,0.04865371942757513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010841700103183,0.10564724534920084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07680848869388067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10605808535726743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156147333881898,0.0,0.0,0.11335307009426412,0.0,0.1023931619227601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125062159864857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20702035269202185,0.0,0.0,0.5222663781598255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058070626937644435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06413147675506263
bipolarreddit,Friendlybydefault,2018/03/24,"Your first honest realization: I am bipolar / I have bipolar (depending on your preference) This is what I’ve been going through for the last several weeks. All the signs have been there since I first tried to kill myself at age 12. The mental health professionals declared it so when I was 15 in a lockdown, but denial runs deep in my family. Anyhoot, an official diagnosis will be coming soon, I’m 99.9% sure of it and 0.1% hopeful I’m just an asshole. 

That said, it would be nice to hear how other people felt or what was going on when they had their first honest realization about being bipolar, be it before or after an official diagnosis. Thank you in advance, this sub has been helpful. ",4.3335524475524485,6.481490369230772,5.3575524475524485,77.70108391608393,72.23076923076924,8.111888111888112,27.97202797202797,8.841846274778883,2.418692307692308,548,21,96,11,11,180,92,130,0.02,0.8059999999999999,0.174,0.9712,0,1,0,0,0,1,20.0,0,3,2,4,8,7,1,0,7,0,17,4,0,2,2,15,27,8,1,3,4,0,1,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,10,2,0,0,2,0,0,5,0,1,0,3,8,3,11,6,13,13,1,22,0,0,0,0,8,7,0,4,10,73,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17187363955602594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17399146512614205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904126857440725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19393646469482256,0.0,0.0,0.5154228586384544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295845006768688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21469971216843234,0.22765082309127666,0.0,0.13538572183684966,0.0,0.0,0.20061584145920547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234655416984013,0.0,0.0,0.1646440452575593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20355252163648765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14003038129686907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19213318585547973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281846032925975,0.0,0.1670833807360844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19036767624260656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859598730238413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713398304540966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16201950610365706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143483748910032,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,StarRice,2018/03/24,"My math professor gave me a chance to catch up and take my midterm on 4/3; I've been trying to but any advice? I was honest with my professor, told her my medical issues and diagnosis. Admitted if I took the midterm I'd fail, and would like to request extra time. She's wonderful. Next week is spring break, I have until April 3rd.

**Can't focus on studying, always tired, have headaches, fog, etc. It's ONLY with Calculus.** 

How in the world do I work around this? I'm so lost.

If curious:

1. My psych left the clinic and I was told to go somewhere else through my insurance. Month long wait-time, appointment finally on March 30th.

2. Constant suicidal ideation. Went to school counselor and psych, was told to ""try and get a goodnights sleep"" and ""it's just thoughts, right""? No help, didn't care, didn't even try to change my medications.

3. On Klonopin .5mg, Lamictal 200mg, Wellbutrin 300mg, Buspar 10mg-x2


**TL;DR - Please give me advice on how to focus and not sleep or pace my hours away to study and catch up in Calculus. I received a 46% on my first exam...A & B Student in everything else.**",0.7515661742538455,3.2952124532710307,2.100388905637626,92.29925384383482,92.6915887850467,5.7519445281881225,21.856496834489,7.233258080335977,1.0066025324088033,851,32,174,16,31,272,141,214,0.111,0.773,0.116,-0.4448,0,0,0,0,0,0,60.0,0,0,0,4,6,5,0,0,6,0,12,6,2,2,0,24,28,17,1,3,6,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,12,0,0,3,0,0,6,5,2,0,1,14,0,19,3,26,13,2,36,0,2,0,0,11,16,0,4,14,89,22,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512462737444027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696863625237292,0.139290041341174,0.0,0.08742228066052968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444182354462258,0.0,0.0,0.12078230682983256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13107109838751846,0.0,0.13599487896321627,0.0,0.0,0.138923035567599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21478357378983534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14337358159283867,0.08490982381645434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553756894768814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14082647963313846,0.0,0.10934940811643024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06716504446476833,0.12332233633970788,0.07306116378318722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861681722229926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266014635647668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341787452982147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13967613828372888,0.0,0.0,0.06280581876099495,0.0,0.0,0.11376774427006872,0.0,0.0,0.1403337266988091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590126750398529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10261192890154744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13672043959261734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977723986511222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14111554807169574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10978586073424547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13010522615141334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572970718818512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406190644104658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665788335234904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020588616668523,0.07496185931297915,0.1477558595852222,0.0,0.3685214258438913,0.14283010682890335,0.26184263395784924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031196238126804,0.0,0.0,0.11917241679758846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13941316692695055,0.09359007672753247,0.0,0.0,0.09132227696935076,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jakobwer,2018/03/24,Jury Duty? I was summoned for jury duty on Monday. Should I tell them of my illness?,-0.5878431372549038,1.4596945294117631,3.278823529411767,81.6480392156863,103.70588235294115,2.266666666666667,17.43137254901961,3.1291,-0.32518039215686256,65,2,10,0,3,24,14,17,0.179,0.821,0.0,-0.4696,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,9,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,venusreturnstoearth,2018/03/24,"Lithium experience and advice I'm taking lithium for the first time. After the first month, I'm at a therapeutic dose but my body isn't responding to it. My depression is persisting, so on Monday my doctor is going to talk to me about adding something like Abiifity.

Has anyone ever reached the therapeutic dose and have it not work? Has adding medications worked? 
Even if your experience is outside of my request, I would love to hear about people's experience. ",5.540714285714286,7.912925928571433,6.509047619047622,69.76928571428572,69.47619047619048,9.561904761904762,31.04761904761905,9.957137785484203,3.5697333333333336,374,16,60,10,7,124,59,84,0.056,0.8220000000000001,0.122,0.7149,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,5,5,3,0,0,4,0,8,6,1,0,1,7,14,5,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,2,0,1,7,2,11,13,0,10,0,1,0,1,6,2,0,1,8,42,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18884789329570145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13512935105701887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21466426644731626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664514328802175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978060891119572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276440132533811,0.1748114556115951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5671254541566028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3287675482411771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10983205168824507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178139804291395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441530322389327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17442142395731922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19468546653122265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542553950056124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397963739868388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14877819937218986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453047431866195,0.15533215405937306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268934657463947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813858858079294,0.0,0.0,0.1372837842297564,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,notannoyingsubreddit,2018/03/24,"How does lamictal help for you guys? Hi guys, I've just recently discovered that I believe I have bipolar ii disorder and I've started the process of getting treated. I've made an appointment with a psychiatrist which I will be seeing next month and in the meantime I've been researching medications. One particular one I've been interested in is lamictal. It seems perfect for me since I suffer more from bipolar depression as opposed to mania plus it doesn't seem to have as worrisome side effects as lithium. For those of you on lamictal, what kind of symptoms did you have in order for your doctor to prescribe it? And does it work well for you? ",6.463442622950819,7.561683991803282,6.993565573770492,72.08411885245904,65.63934426229507,10.69016393442623,38.200819672131146,10.686352973137794,4.459718032786887,525,28,90,14,8,172,79,122,0.105,0.807,0.08800000000000001,-0.4945,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,5,0,3,3,7,0,0,4,0,10,5,0,3,1,13,16,8,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,2,8,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,2,1,2,4,1,10,5,21,10,1,10,0,2,1,0,9,5,0,2,4,62,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21599538759635725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16512249827255746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21972020262612374,0.19622682149690496,0.33553943298402056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016235566813167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3796528781317422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12850147248840926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19964003802583602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18140388502750676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19313111371127445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15302383256548158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20388941013449965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25981996654427475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892938858615792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527707842778726,0.3490574169265871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15858733226537686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356957540869463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19926366186517827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17237339944628302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395696619706418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,unstablebitch,2018/03/24,Does anyone else constantly think about the fact that you’re BP and it makes you really depressed all the time because it’s always on your mind? Like you wake up happy then you’re like “oh yeah I’m BP” and then you just keep thinking about it and you end up staying in bed all day getting nothing done,0.32267025089605283,2.7598181129032247,1.3708602150537637,97.50406810035842,93.67741935483872,4.0458781362007175,18.179211469534053,5.82211442006289,-0.3244681003584229,241,7,51,2,9,75,45,62,0.053,0.785,0.161,0.7436,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,5,0,0,3,4,0,0,2,1,1,1,1,1,3,12,7,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,3,6,6,2,11,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,8,26,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001145464919508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681625872333426,0.2464197849118067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14660604060141685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25989412629609465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15510204622363513,0.0,0.2071415527632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21046241393122428,0.2461141148523293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20090616730621294,0.0,0.2130108498848843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256508719197648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25601580151117803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137666816565191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.234991458781608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605350402696537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24283556798128705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307654065467605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540699043580012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256340078722612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082042698465468,0.0,0.0,0.14023697979301356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,privateimportant,2018/03/24,"Progress is not good enough I have bipolar 1. When I go manic I go full hallucinating manic. When I get depressed I get dangerously close to killing myself. 

I’m better now where I ride waves of hypomania and depression. I feel like that is progress but it isn’t good enough. 

I’m not perfect. I don’t want this illness. I can’t control how stable I am. I take my medicine, I do my cbt and DBT coping techniques. 

I just wish people wouldn’t expect me to be stable all the time. I’m trying my best. 

Can anyone relate? ",0.4422857142857133,2.8776520380952384,2.5064285714285717,90.45107142857141,90.5238095238095,4.5238095238095255,20.833333333333336,6.18269132825596,0.260619047619048,404,14,83,4,14,135,69,105,0.206,0.597,0.197,-0.0205,0,0,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,6,6,10,2,0,1,0,11,2,0,2,2,16,22,6,1,4,4,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,3,6,4,0,0,0,1,18,6,3,20,5,10,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,5,52,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497158019940144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247029074069404,0.18936936110004307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401507705174355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3688378516107765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44248083787302384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826414570640958,0.1529654494212026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237349147656884,0.0,0.2433756038126041,0.3591828826815405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23688907997628866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10460690243904648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14844198323388094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16098957028617414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485352565250303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14537159881658593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262919373354408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24622434009142005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Tu-whenua-a-Kura,2018/03/25,"Advice: The Dead Sea, saltiest place on Earth, second to her. New Relationship, and best described as dating a pretzel... Twisted, salty and I can't get enough! I'm a 22 y/o Maori male and have been seeing this choice as lady for a coupley months, she's 30 and deals with type 1. We just started living together, and she has 2 awesome young girls, who also seem to posses the ability of growing horns on command. I don't know how to explain, that I enjoy playing with fire aware of getting burned. The unpredictable is such a turn on, from good vibes present to more energy than a lightning storm. I haven't known her personally for long, but majority of her previous relationships with family and partners has been a path of hardship through physical, mental and spiritual violence... Due to their lack of understanding/empathy. I'm fortunate to have personal stability, and have so much stength to support this beautiful lady, plenty of time for her daughters, as want to provide them with the guidance and opportunities that, I took for granted in whatever they wish to pursue. It's still early days, and she's a really independent lady, a survivor not a victim, so there aren't labels yet as such, as she struggles with romantic feelings as much as guys. She doesn't take meds, but from previous experience, they bring about a numbness. I strongly identify with spirit/natrual alternatives (as a Maori, not just crazy) if anyone has any suggestions? At times she goes really queit, and you can feel the static in the room, I just haven't grasped, how to bring her out of this headspace, as she is so independent and hasn't had a partner that can support and just listen, without anger or wanting to fix everything she keeps quiet. Her thought manifests in the environment and is like static electricity. she seems to resolve issues like a male through self reflection, rather than a verbal release. Laughter seems to help, so I try change her pattern of thought with humour, but the downside being i dont know what's appropriate at times. Last thing I want is to come across as her mother, especially since early days but I'm all about the family values and just here for support. To listen rather than reply, these ears aren't painted on. If anyone has any advise on this situation, dealing with my lady who could make even the devil breakdown on Jeremy Kyle. Would be much appreciated. She's so worth it, without darkness we'd never appreciate how good the light is. Nothing worse than a basic b*tch, like a challenge.",7.088244514106584,7.999517419913424,7.250376175548593,71.45590909090913,64.1948051948052,10.181937602627258,34.97865353037768,10.165852483727232,3.7096646365129127,2016,88,338,44,29,651,256,462,0.054000000000000006,0.725,0.22,0.9976,0,0,0,0,0,0,69.0,2,1,4,5,25,21,2,1,27,0,31,2,1,6,2,74,65,41,1,11,18,2,3,3,2,1,1,4,1,9,14,26,0,1,14,1,1,5,14,5,0,1,6,9,36,16,71,54,9,39,1,0,1,0,48,15,0,6,22,235,50,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967079430914686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914267612928988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345998699530285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13839796000845006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385818857762087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469237867293048,0.08525001689871874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901590038605527,0.0,0.0,0.12764912305197496,0.20405817383554967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598683119234753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225781862843128,0.0,0.06536578065155267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08894381179230189,0.09680725086762798,0.18659173501003706,0.0,0.10007986270162528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341078020432896,0.0,0.0,0.16601513524626824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799140623375376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06633448983298748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10329427195871788,0.0,0.08796508529565497,0.0,0.0,0.10877770336631147,0.08067009281348628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14504863589094413,0.0,0.08738835132643118,0.08758135493549518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606024101057957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992836245651384,0.0,0.09973394899977846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789933194456998,0.0,0.21825309308095164,0.0,0.0763282961095201,0.0955814984463456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496006820552726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728257179964415,0.10339788577189278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679966937150303,0.0,0.0,0.21250382451143332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07886269192263258,0.2702834281879621,0.10324260207538308,0.0,0.0,0.08186528586858899,0.1112413706488242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07004829163083733,0.0,0.07903397767138051,0.0,0.0,0.10346023031980324,0.0,0.0,0.3369146363499167,0.0,0.0,0.0744097410343307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06574828199000371,0.0,0.0,0.1571351079395326,0.1731227400851775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10995431404495162,0.06719107953677014,0.1076460474284876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17511725141851225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138054431102795,0.19079842451528767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10085430131471962,0.07030225310421791,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pikethemalingerer,2018/03/25,"this disease is ruining my life im only so young but why me? why was I born with bipolar  disorder? theres nothing  good about it, one hour im happy and im productive the next, i hav destroyed all relationships with everyone i know, one day im smiling and im doing fine and i feel happy, then the next i want to kill myself and i think of trying",-1.3987110187110192,0.4549410000000016,1.9381081081081104,91.30595634095634,105.21621621621622,4.97962577962578,19.205821205821206,6.67199483983844,0.5739160083160089,270,10,58,5,13,96,51,74,0.217,0.583,0.199,-0.3857,0,0,0,0,0,1,6.0,0,0,0,0,3,7,2,0,2,0,3,2,0,0,1,12,7,7,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,1,9,4,5,6,1,7,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,32,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08793527351929095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15627034066768153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13028945861864175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06894328680078107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436495588205932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902968733073405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13427851130019658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7364137175728498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15085245142068796,0.0,0.07493507882872136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630891733272737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900221936757186,0.0,0.0,0.13083269781122664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18479026597853693,0.10370126669511713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14639021001890995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736837272182782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09257354560464252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08042349754419284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460715826089006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,minademi,2018/03/25,"Just diagnosed. Looking for some help with this. I was recently diagnosed and put on Lamictal. 
Looking back on life, I realize how bipolar has made me act towards certain aspects and has really turned my life upside down. 
I don't know how to recognize the episodes, or what to do even when I do recognize one. 
What is the best thing for you? How do you know when you're going through a depressive or high episode?",3.7683001808318255,5.990084202531648,4.49497287522604,82.93696202531646,74.0632911392405,9.071247739602173,32.804701627486445,9.606745405546679,3.4410853526220624,328,17,62,9,7,105,55,79,0.033,0.85,0.117,0.7757,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,1,8,3,0,0,3,0,8,5,0,4,1,15,15,9,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,1,0,1,2,2,8,2,10,13,2,12,0,1,2,0,3,5,0,3,4,48,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17075162060130988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23303989073762155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191261282800428,0.450775586411305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14666955576288096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620269309194554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488431723538287,0.2346202136817808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24407843478060526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3136972718974039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3729515393312629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101200025333466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15047464948233855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22323318593057145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422583115524741,0.0,0.21925898538915492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14752782289944866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24153919372783106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,toasterbell,2018/03/25,"Um, is it me? So, I finally got an appointment with a real psychiatrist two weeks ago and was diagnosed with bipolar (II). However, at the time I couldn't believe how the office was set up.  You walked into a waiting room with two receptionist windows on the other side. The receptionists sat behind frosted glass windows that were closed, and in front of each was one of those bells. There were no signs specifying which window to go to or even saying ""please ring bell for service"".  I must have stood there fidgeting for 3 or 4 minutes before finally knocking on the window lightly (no way was I gonna ring a bell in a quiet office). Then, while I was filling out my paperwork they decided to turn on music and it was the Braveheart soundtrack.  So, I'm sitting there listening to the sountrack to a film where someone gets disembowled and it occurs to me that they can't be THAT stupid and they must have hidden cameras or something to see what their patients do in such an uncomfortable situation. Now, two weeks later I'm like,  ""um, you totally thought someone was watching you on a hidden camera"".  So, since I've never dealt with psychiatry before, was that being delusional, or is that honestly something plausible?",8.271266666666666,7.9960313822222275,8.294944444444448,68.98775000000002,61.84444444444443,11.233333333333334,38.30555555555557,10.686352973137794,4.247955555555556,971,44,162,21,12,316,140,225,0.022,0.927,0.051,0.7299,1,0,2,0,0,0,31.0,0,3,4,0,11,3,1,0,15,0,21,2,0,1,4,28,34,15,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,3,2,5,5,0,12,13,0,1,2,1,0,4,5,1,2,4,14,8,15,2,27,14,2,33,0,0,2,0,9,15,0,4,12,121,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14258601395755233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737472180546292,0.1812256570330774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16326187638222364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10624154281570294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3524120482895041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403877933661985,0.0,0.09141616848735444,0.0,0.12864841854880998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858439439699402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405934509368716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10899780007175597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1765677146478208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18308533183485984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12791634440289504,0.0,0.0,0.12817859707242615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13305882966641908,0.18080492154856267,0.0,0.0,0.2725795604555272,0.2476641878576316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12769889789124247,0.09379437181450434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749613030368237,0.4713884863946554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767720772560562,0.258052306223512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Stuffed-Friia,2018/03/25,"Never-ending Guilt Trip I place the blame on myself for so much in my life. At work, at home, in my relationships...even when my dog is being a buttcheek I wonder what I did wrong to make him act like a brat. Recently I confronted my ex about something he did that made me uncomfortable and upset and I think maybe he hates me now. So of course I'm in this downward spiral of ""Wow, I ruined everything, like always"" but mixed with ""I shouldn't have said anything, what did I gain from this?""

All I can feel now is this giant weight of guilt pressing on me and I'm not sure what it will lead to...hopefully trying to open up more to other friends will help. 

Please tell me someone here can relate. ",3.770785714285714,4.807243078571432,4.367142857142859,88.68785714285715,71.78571428571428,7.314285714285713,23.285714285714285,7.554174236665415,0.7900142857142858,541,13,116,6,10,172,97,140,0.132,0.737,0.131,0.6959,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,3,7,12,2,3,3,0,12,2,0,3,2,16,21,7,0,1,2,1,3,2,1,3,1,1,1,0,9,5,1,0,3,0,0,3,2,7,0,0,5,4,19,5,18,12,3,19,0,1,0,0,8,12,0,1,6,75,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16979548008702613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679251927793104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18073788314736128,0.0,0.0,0.13478066846626596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18339728050076368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10317960453071376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576573762623184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20146844281089454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13677809387328724,0.0,0.2046902805384837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441346426068482,0.1993882416827638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19308788556885487,0.13621260778497346,0.0,0.20500716229536275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15000865124975796,0.0,0.15738477640728427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21320079135325504,0.2239982023894024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014860716273098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19410917617135087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17290061116754982,0.15709647991704753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19232550920641964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17835870867372616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075434265237362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385443350429994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484918813795161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212959465330116,0.1485591717916332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22310917022976398,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,alphalemur,2018/03/25,"Been a bit hypomanic lately. Just went on a cleaning spree of the apartment, now it is clean and organized. What's the best thing you have ever done while hypomanic? Been feeling hypomanic this week and today I went on a cleaning spree of my apartment.

I rarely clean or organize anything, so there was a lot that needed to be done. Granted, my apartment is 400 square feet so there isn't a lot to clean but it felt really good to have it clean and organized. I still need to clean my desk but I think that's just a lost cause at this point. But the kitchen is spotless and a lot of the clutter has been dealt with. 

Sometimes hypomania isn't a bad thing! What's the best thing you've done while hypomanic? ",2.3763571428571417,4.7178730642857145,3.312857142857143,89.12214285714286,79.07142857142857,6.571428571428572,24.285714285714285,7.7094869923839395,1.1843571428571429,559,20,116,9,14,178,73,140,0.02,0.7559999999999999,0.224,0.981,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,3,9,5,0,0,13,0,16,2,1,1,1,21,24,12,0,2,6,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,12,5,1,0,3,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,11,3,8,3,11,12,6,17,0,1,1,0,1,7,0,4,8,84,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462432435332699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12644821307354207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31785925001379084,0.0,0.16533605385369313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15557322741070045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4649349603767514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369884671065054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657390942276747,0.0,0.14540860838327127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12702283542351211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17083380572008694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16531744553490782,0.3862531503923048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245854808274058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431621711578625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701798279078423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14978056567733802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12094222522211825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30183512570246696,0.0970382784120475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14354984056657324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12147808794261598,0.0,0.0,0.28077754345514505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,hippiefish89,2018/03/26,"ADD Inattentive and BiPolar II ... anyone else? Hi there, 
I am 30 yo female who was diagnosed as ADD Inattentive in Highschool, prescribed all those study candies and made it through college (where I began binge drinking and smoking pot)... also had a bout of serious depression and started Lexapro, which lasted only about two years . I am very petite and was taking high doses of Vyvanse (70mg) and also Adderall (30mg tab) for studying. I had what I would call my first “episode” in college after smoking a bowl... fast forward to five years out of college and still taking Adderall and vyvanse and ambien, gained about 40lbs. I wanted off of that shit so I quit taking it and quit seeing my doc. When I didn’t have any left since I stopped seeing the doc, I became addicted to Benadryl (3 at night) just to sleep. 

Anyway, I went on a trip and got some pot candy, and I got sick and then I was prescribed a 10 mg prednisone. That’s when the mania started, it was full blown mania for about 10 days, before I went to the hospital. I don’t remember everything but I was signing everything! I couldn’t stop, it was weird. 

Anyway sorry for the long post, my new doc has me on Seraquel 200mg and vistiril along with a bunch of supplements (I am trying to get away from big pharma). My problem is now I am still very distracted due to the inattentive ADD, during work I don’t work and I’ll pick at split ends or google stuff that’s irrelevant. My new doc said NO to stimulants and even said I should not drink coffee. He also said I can do pot or alcohol but it is dis-inhibiting, so basically watch out. Now I am in a depressed state, and I should be happy. 

My question to others is how do you deal with bipolar and inattentive add? It’s a tough combo but I am trying to take things one day at a time. ",4.044726205997392,5.329596206214696,5.020000000000003,83.32216427640158,71.40112994350282,7.81903520208605,28.022164276401572,8.263242389622931,1.8961533246414604,1403,51,273,21,26,459,195,354,0.1,0.88,0.02,-0.9709,0,0,3,0,0,0,51.0,0,1,0,6,21,9,1,1,13,0,30,11,2,4,1,51,49,33,0,6,7,0,0,0,0,3,7,3,0,0,16,27,3,2,2,2,0,4,6,8,0,4,18,6,33,1,39,26,4,50,0,2,3,0,10,18,1,4,28,183,49,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10952167135531124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736652396104032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24102545536499095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831964020376531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024745890179564,0.10293825753977953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09439016785249066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08548830928690895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258599032094366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12958321820489802,0.10357499618645416,0.173060702192882,0.10196985293300308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19683489106767005,0.0,0.0,0.08392561010837121,0.0,0.08898216404200324,0.0,0.0,0.06635618024461312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805829150391318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08545547156358002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05248881220476579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16070206480750615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694685298764754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614678081705868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0818923780259972,0.0,0.0,0.10915550864716947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889083571899345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095062405340904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19405943219023614,0.0,0.0942795900690898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06807767918406701,0.07640815415971677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621769202514563,0.0,0.0,0.09613143002772843,0.0,0.0,0.11254378444350999,0.2137137726725746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380725237644278,0.0,0.28669564324909075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601151840498764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031258714010896,0.08310568023092729,0.0,0.10053754742860943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246233426326632,0.14221927800605733,0.0,0.1604629460716547,0.1679864650313533,0.0,0.0,0.11500838073114647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3021486862889167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06674447711042067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05858194522692494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13641827084845345,0.0,0.09813969984321383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16578828123071496,0.05925685571890544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18626410970539575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627942259929294,0.0,0.0,0.07136744841239934,0.0,0.0,0.12939232299389686
bipolarreddit,KenseiBae,2018/03/26,"Anyone else not trust their emotions? I've been feeling abnormally happy this week/two weeks, I haven't been all that active, but was put on Seroquil I think 2 months ago? (Sorry can't spell the name.) Any one else worry way too much about real vs artificial happiness? ",2.5835294117647045,5.390655490196083,3.4583333333333366,85.40750000000003,82.33333333333334,5.752941176470588,20.264705882352946,7.1686216300943375,0.7097294117647066,214,6,39,3,6,68,46,51,0.104,0.696,0.199,0.6356,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,1,8,7,1,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,1,3,3,2,4,2,6,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18717779616674154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435938905280217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14764577057682185,0.21635513360765274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35278888572761274,0.23752302150482096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676724170574343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44956076040278464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16854337331661962,0.0,0.15522457174341994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430853380229005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21227094382136324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403427094434915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363727921657765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353007754733735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20626954816665866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16760646924260486,0.33875455687429085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21444001850434966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,estafaniaas,2018/03/26,"Stimulants for Bipolar II I have had Bipolar II for about 14 years now, and have been on stimulant medications for perhaps six. I recently switched from Dexedrine to vyanse, but I was wondering if there is anyone else who takes stimulants to help with the depressive state and lack of motivation that comes from Bipolar II? I find they do help a lot without making me go too manic, just enough to be extroverted.",11.919599999999996,9.043845226666667,10.522666666666666,64.14800000000001,56.73333333333333,14.8,46.33333333333333,13.023866798666859,5.865133333333333,332,16,58,9,3,104,59,75,0.078,0.797,0.125,0.5927,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,1,5,1,0,0,2,0,8,4,0,5,0,17,13,4,0,2,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,3,0,6,0,13,9,3,7,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,3,3,43,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18696242882240136,0.2739684388482713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303292651938232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302990721765769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2233665979035417,0.0,0.0,0.27628109743358664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443858560919775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15196156116754495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3584462468410085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273219188318125,0.0,0.0,0.17848215547652685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693631501548537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2640113051745516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20104091001016156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577504528295633,0.28996858791354385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17218774426937486
bipolarreddit,SmeatyTee,2018/03/26,"Medication Frustration (Triiger warning- mentions suicide and ED) long I am new here (36 f) and have commented some, but this is my first post. 
I started a little over four years ago to try and find some relief from all the bad things going on in my mind. The only other time I had been to a Dr to help with my ongoing mental issues was when I was 22 and in college. A GP prescribed me Zoloft and up the dosage a couple times and then basically didn't schedule any follow up appointments. I basically went full out party mode and made terrible decisions, lacked impulse control, and was hyper sexual and engaged in a lot of risky behavior that I am still embarrassed about even today.  I eventually stopped taking the zoloft after about a year because my ex found out I was taking it and he said I had no right to be depressed because my life wasn't that bad(he was very emotionally abusive).
 My father was bipolar and we lost him to suicide and my sister is also bipolar. I had no idea that antidepressants alone could trigger a hypomanic/manic episode in some one with bipolar.
I knew that there was always something not right with me, I would have terrible bouts of depression. I attempted suicide at 14, luckily it didn't work, I just screwed up my stomach and I never told my parents. My family never talked about emotions. I didn't even know my dad was bipolar until after his death. My mom said he never believed it and refused to take medication for bipolar. 
Fast forward to about four years ago, I break down and tell my husband that I can't take it anymore and need help. I never admitted it to him, but I had a plan for suicide and it scared the shit out of me. On the outside my life seemed great, married to my husband who is amazing and the love of my life, we have two healthy kids(I also have an older children from my previous relationship), and I am a stay at home mom (which is something I really wanted). I had extreme anxiety and depression though. I started seeing a therapist who eventually said I needed to see a psychiatrist because I most likely needed meds because my issues were not going to be resolved with therapy alone. I started meds and did an inpatient program for Eating Disorders because I had an existing ED and felt myself falling back into old, bad habits in order to deal with my anxiety. The ED treatment was great, but my depression and anxiety were still out of control. 
I told my psychiatrist back my past with zoloft(I was finally realizing my behavior while taking it was probably caused by being on it alone). We tried a few antidepressants and they all made me feel irritable or angry. My Dr then starts adding mood stabilizers and antipsychotics to the mix. I look up more on bipolar disorder and start to think that maybe what's wrong with me, especially with my family history. I ask my Dr if she thinks I am bipolar and she says no because I don't have any type of hypomanic/manic episode and says she changed my diagnosis to mood disorder. We try a bunch of different combos, either they don't work or the side effects are so bad I can't handle them. All things she is prescribing me is medication for bipolar disorder. After three years she then starts prescribing me things I already tried and didn't work the first time. I got a new Dr. 
The new Dr asks right away if my old Dr thought I was bipolar after I give her the list of meds I have already tried. I see her a couple times and she says she thinks I am bipolar and my extreme attacks of anxiety that come along with not sleeping and being paranoid and suicidal are episodes of dsyphoric hypomania. I am now on my third med change with this Dr. All together I have been on 30 different meds in a little over 4 years. I am so frustrated. I am always med compliant, I really want something to work. I was just on Fetzima and lamotrigine. I am so irritable and can't sleep. So my Dr took me off the Fetzima because she thought it was what was causing me problems, I think it might be the lamotrigine. She said it was unlikely, but I had the same trouble with Vraylar and Rexulti. I am now on the lamotrigine, oxcarbazepine,  and mitrazapine. It's been a week off Fetzima and I am still extremely irritable and not sleeping well. 
Sorry about the life story. I am just so frustrated and want something to work, but I feel like I am starting to run out of options.",6.3577715157919465,6.8621073113772475,7.117449806269814,73.1953058588705,65.70658682634729,10.42925912880122,35.53422566631443,10.328600350310266,3.773304567335917,3475,160,626,81,51,1155,335,835,0.195,0.731,0.073,-0.9989,3,3,4,0,0,5,79.0,4,0,3,14,29,33,6,2,38,0,75,35,5,8,8,136,131,63,6,12,17,9,3,2,0,2,27,7,1,1,30,63,1,4,20,0,0,9,21,21,1,8,51,14,117,10,90,72,16,107,0,5,4,2,58,40,2,12,58,462,147,8,0.0,0.053269579497264234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970765412294609,0.0,0.0,0.13969324902345254,0.0992277105905388,0.07190808899081377,0.0748197042752001,0.0,0.0,0.06114791601766612,0.0,0.13757538104085493,0.0,0.04458767926544165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406200662584773,0.051147848677159526,0.04224086982544888,0.0691420617642057,0.15015700345019714,0.19184798298103825,0.0,0.0,0.0506538880920553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923714502453288,0.0951222431495078,0.03872857288529781,0.0,0.0,0.10085166025861353,0.03589645103336943,0.09949352094615854,0.0,0.0,0.046351204056767965,0.15489398439579974,0.0,0.0,0.0939460823816595,0.20610963371469865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04600472686870026,0.0,0.10114662760254968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059390566530341526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476750940373133,0.0,0.04546568315165632,0.03211902985589886,0.0431681088644498,0.049250864222526586,0.041092109731819995,0.07648494609800154,0.0,0.049295700663636186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043129187483022725,0.05110296681134666,0.0,0.035958167861418824,0.0991358731862339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06027072410690663,0.0,0.04509797978735268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05075373043740769,0.0,0.09385194011022197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024708530076436943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12702471620715464,0.04392981860003113,0.09012233170175613,0.0,0.039787685814094434,0.03775460267476367,0.0,0.04907853507017452,0.03822290447761866,0.04057764606355198,0.08508341028854785,0.0,0.0,0.045167796131485465,0.0,0.2996387861799369,0.13587570452161668,0.0453085366254578,0.04769485640961081,0.045396213574586286,0.10531189544847297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1000105557042896,0.13870195392923476,0.1302663095115789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09435472957700608,0.0,0.030465677197722724,0.03419367680866203,0.0,0.0,0.04992213276756223,0.0,0.04291886865319506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04305871147608158,0.0,0.048473875883544376,0.043020108071863926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057604331538375624,0.0,0.0,0.048269608355463414,0.0,0.11518533733132914,0.17106687587678476,0.10726064345314663,0.04501223838458277,0.0,0.10748054803385147,0.04092938171379597,0.0,0.0,0.04615021467381004,0.0,0.0,0.1349757146360363,0.0,0.0,0.13844788052124962,0.0,0.05032840739625191,0.2227576400127819,0.04792077642561282,0.10771399030797364,0.037588101405412834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458916272855861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690195019226749,0.036136691392066086,0.039296528479542285,0.0,0.05141503299022847,0.052201370109716566,0.08960715400765774,0.11523276408694327,0.04417241731541498,0.071385539875087,0.10486483407124557,0.0,0.04261628808604403,0.0859213350340137,0.049951587348093934,0.15262252816754307,0.0,0.04391883582900561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03709624299532778,0.07955472012506785,0.0,0.03606374741672691,0.0,0.04042393211616164,0.041677847334239806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636550233127781,0.0,0.0,0.03193789318050303,0.0491560851005,0.0,0.14476201272729838
bipolarreddit,jigglyblob,2018/03/26,"Does anyone else experience different types of personality surges? I have never been clinically diagnosed, but the closest symptoms I’ve detected are in the bi-polar category. So I was wondering if anyone else encounters this? Its not like multiple personality disorder where each personality takes over the body and does their own thing. While the main personality doesn’t remember at all or is forced to be in the back. I’m conscious and can “control” each one of them, I can basically bite my tongue before bad things happen. 

One side is apologetic, can’t make up my mind, sluggish, sleepy, full on emo emu depression mode, pushes everyone away, and doubts everything and everyone. One side feels like its just a burst of anger; Like it can easily make someone cry by just telling them off, a demon in its own way. While the other one is bubbly, fun, can do anything and everything, the life of the party, a daredevil, a creator, an artist who can easily pull all nighters. 

Is this how bi polar works? I know there are like manic phases and etc. Are those it? Please and thank you everyone",5.841666666666669,7.7637481161616195,6.483252525252527,72.09154545454548,67.83838383838383,10.532525252525254,30.371717171717172,10.650279960617883,3.6228480808080814,869,34,150,26,15,284,130,198,0.179,0.7120000000000001,0.109,-0.961,1,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,3,2,8,10,1,1,13,0,19,6,1,4,3,29,28,14,0,1,6,0,1,4,0,0,4,0,0,4,12,9,0,1,5,1,0,2,4,4,0,4,2,1,10,6,15,25,9,21,1,1,0,1,10,14,0,4,8,103,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15959443625268846,0.23386430538166034,0.09391322620578336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072219967933233,0.08775328201573848,0.09528765511317797,0.0,0.0,0.09710997906638126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267645493716624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12799826847239265,0.0,0.0,0.1253583844328882,0.0,0.0,0.09829368078131794,0.11583209875507815,0.0,0.11923389108103595,0.13079445674622547,0.0,0.19973901957827325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906696789008842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12727693409145607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32714727990561115,0.20513217825307475,0.11163386097922512,0.0,0.0,0.05770384645531317,0.08152925189383803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091829231635427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06271882997606575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060821054418002,0.22301827062405946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15235552492473836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523135499901095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08801843168052025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3093298747207733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3985900230310351,0.0,0.1252724114977263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12927872814500874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966957604094345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11861714167116298,0.08580603840806238,0.0,0.09974823596278644,0.10506881347936756,0.0,0.0,0.15163605009982464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058525640989908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12376115781799613,0.08308265647636896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DrPotato2301,2018/03/26,"Have been taking Lexapro 10mg for past 4 days. Feeling like my depression is gone since yesterday. Not sure if it's Lexapro or if it might be a hypomanic or a manic phase.(X-post from r/depression) I'm not sure if cross-posting is allowed. Here is the [link to my original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/87a00b/have_been_taking_lexapro_10mg_for_past_4_days/) on r/depression. 

**TL;DR** Not sure what type of depressive disorder(PDD, Smiling Depression, SAD, Cyclothymia or Bipolar 2) I have. My psychiatrist started me Lexapro 10mg and based on how it goes, he said we could try switching to mood support meds. I've been taking Lexapro since Thursday and I've been feeling like my depression is gone since yesterday. I'm worried I might be in a hypomanic or a manic phase(got told by my psychiatrist that Lexapro elevates the mania and asked me not to take it if I'm in a hypomanic or manic phase).


I met my psychiatrist last Thursday and we talked about my depression. I've always had ups and downs in my life for a few years. But I always thought it was because of my actions that caused then and not the other way around. I'm still not sure what type of depressive disorder I have. Since I had like 2 weeks time before my appointment, I did a bit of research reading about the depression types and how each of them is different in their own way. So I told my psychiatrist that I wasn't sure if had the persistent depressive disorder, seasonal affective depression, smiling depression or Cyclothymia(aka bipolar lite).


When I was doing my research and if there was something relatable to me or if something similar has happened to me before, I noted them down as a list. We talked about how I identified that I was depressed and all the points on the list. Then he told me that even he wasn't sure if I had Dysthymia, smiling depression, bipolar 2, or cyclothymia. So as a general procedure, he said that he is going to prescribe me meds to help with depression and if it doesn't work, he is going to prescribe me mood support meds for cyclothymia or bipolar 2. 


He prescribed Lexapro 10mg to take every morning and asked me to get back to him in 2 weeks about how the meds were working. He also warned me not to take Lexapro if I feel like I have a hypomanic or a manic phase as it might elevate the mania. 


I've been taking Lexapro since Thursday and I've been feeling like I'm not depressed since yesterday. I was not sure if it's my hypomanic phase and I didn't take my meds today.


So these were the differences that I noticed in me yesterday compared to the day before:


* I feel fresh, more energetic, and I feel like I got back my motivation to do things. 
* I've been procrastinating to buy my vitamins for a week and I ordered them yesterday (I still have vitamins for the next couple of days) 
* I smoked close to double the number of cigarettes than I did during the past few days
* I was clenching my jaw more than usual and today morning, I had a little pain in my enamel 
* I've been hitting my bed at 12ish and could sleep only by around 4 or 5 in the morning and I slept for around 4 hours for the past couple of weeks. I started using melatonin for last week and it helped me get to sleep by 12. I used to sleep for 10 to 11 hours on melatonin. But last night, I didn't take melatonin. I went to bed at 12 and slept in a few mins, and woke up at approx 8. 
* I planned my family's trip to the US (have been wanting to do this for weeks) 
* I could never stay interested in a single topic for more than 10 mins max. I watched the entire Dota 2 loregasm playlist by SirActionSlacks. It has 12 videos and it took around 3.5 hours to finish. I watched the whole thing without any break. 
* I completed the tax return process on Sprintax. I still have to take a printout and mail it, but I got my w2 and access to Sprintax like more than a month ago and I've been procrastinating to finish it. 
* Finally, I usually don't write this long posts if I'm not on Adderall (diagnosed with ADHD), but I'm not on Adderall now.



I want to wait a couple of days to talk to my psychiatrist about this. Before that, I just wanted to make sure if it's Lexapro or a hypomanic or manic phase.",3.9268503965990007,5.854284734895195,4.742830115759059,82.61825238787569,72.79778051787915,8.047709663765023,29.36711632957285,8.755935421946482,2.366242269540092,3324,140,638,65,67,1073,277,811,0.075,0.873,0.052000000000000005,-0.9414,2,0,4,0,0,0,109.0,4,0,4,5,28,36,0,0,39,0,57,15,6,12,10,121,114,69,0,19,43,0,6,7,0,3,9,2,2,0,31,36,0,1,9,2,2,8,19,16,0,0,44,10,85,18,98,61,14,104,0,15,2,0,32,31,0,29,66,411,116,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0479659220397116,0.0,0.035379177209794825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03191724874125132,0.06641920667377206,0.0,0.0,0.02714121975615735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14211894993594482,0.07462381528477705,0.0,0.0,0.061379030225460075,0.0,0.02432970786239319,0.0,0.13584714334080855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0435730709928906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04100015165813844,0.0,0.0,0.041846496402220414,0.0,0.0,0.09559836502176257,0.13248409883012394,0.0,0.1286982261440317,0.0,0.5500120943684996,0.04050937883606056,0.0,0.08339814120285054,0.0914841784778988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026361199573456968,0.0,0.03362719869116792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0376250533255151,0.0,0.12108286052722525,0.14256408140249208,0.0,0.04372114754190709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04170427076431552,0.0,0.04536530245830982,0.0,0.09576272744996936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03529364812404616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05350373567516778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791449907622435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759971020319004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02819070510960558,0.1364913568091142,0.040001854011639436,0.0,0.03532046207289529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026641266726907663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216636497425998,0.0,0.0,0.1270195287124055,0.0,0.0,0.031857015063866886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030782244574894164,0.0,0.042446381724482236,0.03745428203301002,0.0,0.0,0.045439559403370716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03035452904942153,0.042468698683963815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430025959990002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03772931131450588,0.0,0.15289691315094597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03992234641189635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593003937909705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980914586264077,0.0,0.11982110826549372,0.0,0.0,0.061451715687511566,0.0,0.0,0.056499195054480124,0.04254039740217737,0.09562023604914667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058229835764348,0.3009292765171949,0.0,0.2700766383659466,0.0962381660283382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05303091513248055,0.0,0.0,0.03168530918701977,0.02327274330492616,0.0,0.07566295733125973,0.11441157709578445,0.044343195898673665,0.02709731972248304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048008675395269415,0.06894152207133321,0.08791385803364239,0.0,0.07062259132200831,0.0633598546224979,0.1920878075881081,0.0,0.0,0.03699840279545652,0.0,0.0445598155407788,0.0,0.038473305885846486,0.0,0.058112161345258526,0.04053211209292517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02570172693139781
bipolarreddit,guineagirlie,2018/03/26,"Starting to doubt I have bipolar? I'm a 26 year old woman. I was going through a really rough patch, considering suicide, etc. So I booked an appointment with a doctor. The doctor referred me to another doctor who discussed the possibility of having bipolar. At the time it made sense, I could see how I fit many of the symptoms. 
In order to get a proper diagnosis, I need to first speak w a psychiatrist. I have an appointment this Thursday. 

I'm now starting to seriously doubt that I have bipolar. I'm no longer feeling so down, i actually feel fine. I'm starting to question whether I have bipolar or if I'm just being a little dramatic? Doesn't everyone do wild stuff now and again? My friends all have crazy stories of wild shit they've done. All similar to mine. And normal people feel down sometimes too. Right??

I'm dreading going to this appointment on Thursday because I'm embarrassed to explain that there's nothing wrong with me, I'm just dramatic and a bit of a cry baby. What should I do? Should I cancel or go and just apologise for wasting this doctors time?? Or could this all be in my head??? Help lol ",3.010773809523812,5.4137110694444415,4.537169312169311,80.85333333333334,77.19444444444444,7.262433862433863,29.73015873015873,8.269060116576782,2.452271428571428,885,42,161,17,21,295,125,216,0.157,0.754,0.09,-0.9383,0,0,0,0,0,1,30.0,0,0,0,1,11,9,1,4,14,1,17,11,2,2,3,33,39,12,1,7,8,0,4,0,1,2,9,1,0,1,10,6,0,0,6,1,0,3,2,7,0,1,3,6,17,2,23,30,5,26,0,0,1,0,8,9,1,7,13,107,27,5,0.0,0.0,0.12600278263518067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539388809544392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787105337191096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409659208827719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20618409877328284,0.0,0.14183258164524673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.528640375183981,0.0,0.13213489196192005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400326095258073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337997573156274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19586130319028291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982965743799958,0.0,0.0,0.09975802004909677,0.0,0.06746002518385036,0.0,0.22014611862695624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13251467444565995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654661237153828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12941245726492406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221767456523336,0.0,0.1309077134610761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574106307675193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12651047480940306,0.1238944059787076,0.0,0.13549002981344108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08951575517648276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14556373255742244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446442815895092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827177676466985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11026802690271148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028921582963614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13254012787876268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770327390136166,0.0,0.2741760293171542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14781184665048588,0.1412366462652385,0.0,0.0,0.13420542635987615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15058216539213198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411727735458817,0.0,0.08314923696227823
bipolarreddit,HippieInATruck,2018/03/26,"How did the whole diagnosing process work ? Do you feel like it made your life better or worse ? Someone whose opinion I care about told me recently that he thinks I should go see someone and get medicated . It started kind of a big fight , and at the time I was really angry because I didn’t think he understood what was going on .  I took some of the meds they would probably start me on when I was a teenager because of these seizures I was having , and I told him I would literally rather die than take them again and feel the way they made me feel again . I hated being in a fog all the time , not feeling anything at all ever , the weird side effects . He tried telling me that I could tell them that and that it didn’t have to be like that again , but all I heard was ‘ you’re being over dramatic and crazy’ . Which isn’t really fair to him . I’ve never been professionally diagnosed with anything ever , but there’s always been something not right . It’s gotten worse the last few years , more and more intense , to the pint I don’t even believe myself when I say I can handle it myself . I guess if I’m being honest , I’m fucking terrified to even think about getting diagnosed and getting on meds . I’m terrified of not being me anymore , because even when I feel awful and like I’m drowning in darkness I know that I’m gonna get this high again and be ok . I’m scared of getting told I’m crazy . 
And I’ve never admitted that before and now I feel more fucked up than before . ",3.691732186732189,4.963343283783782,4.606597051597053,85.99958230958235,72.24324324324324,7.408845208845209,26.29238329238329,7.84624498591911,1.4020324324324331,1156,38,237,15,22,375,150,296,0.168,0.755,0.077,-0.9831,0,0,1,0,1,0,24.0,0,2,4,3,18,14,4,1,11,2,26,7,0,4,7,51,70,20,2,6,8,0,6,3,0,4,5,2,0,0,17,13,0,0,13,0,0,3,9,6,0,0,19,9,34,8,23,40,9,36,0,0,1,2,21,13,2,5,22,157,51,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783124209687809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09333822266425716,0.0,0.0,0.15489962844072036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17211753222456738,0.0,0.16017232378225182,0.10603700312366526,0.0,0.08323834647907527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959579872510167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751443222568909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865786287549375,0.0976780098637268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864890710042594,0.17026742384016022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855286119958027,0.06723680644158138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17401827192197586,0.2458597875410019,0.0,0.10697708814682737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367987391344942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09292050352132472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09943919050038556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800779345952684,0.051723936297542634,0.07671746346308438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06647722779326648,0.13794162168700785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781105100193459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20908430463351124,0.09481241583801643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451768075070975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10147344502239176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058680810781455,0.0,0.0929286342165092,0.0,0.0,0.08037492898344265,0.0,0.07484517387370787,0.09422697925014313,0.0,0.07499862061846534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15948911526470316,0.0724554367505657,0.0,0.0,0.1332322070402239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076385299688777,0.0,0.16452384091668465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809180512939574,0.0,0.0,0.10976011079117268,0.0,0.0,0.2697968867118466,0.10456683234337204,0.0638988875508719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07470525253468854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507764870063344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851789219687691,0.0,0.1918253941791276,0.13371524305457813,0.0,0.0,0.06060790424559795
bipolarreddit,thebpdev,2018/03/26,"Throwaway, can I vent for a moment? I'm currently undiagnosed (getting there.. why does it take so long to see a pysch?), but I had one of those ""oh shit, I was so crazy I convinced myself I wasn't crazy"" moments a few months ago after I checked myself into a psychiatric hospital in the middle of the night while going through a month of full blown mania without really realizing what it actually was. I didn't want to get hospitalized so I kinda lied my way out, Idk why. I probably shoulda gone but I just wanted to talk to someone and in the moment the idea of a hospital bed was the last thing I wanted. Feels fuckin bad man. I didn't ask for this shit. I really should have seen the signs earlier though. I was such a bright kid and then when I was like 16 I just dropped off the face of the earth. Or when I was 19 and I drank myself into a near coma and flipped my car 3 times and walked away without a scratch, or that time I dropped out of college suddenly to become a plumber after sleeping 16 hours a day for months,  or when I was drinking myself into blackout daily just to cope with the pain. 

 I am so very fortunate to have a wonderful girlfriend that cheers me up when I am down, but sometimes she gets upset when im ""away"". Sometime's I'm ice cold. I just check out from the world. Nothing gets in, and nothing gets out. It's like an emotional hostage situation. It might be for a day, it might be for a week, but I'm just gone. I just get so wrapped up in all of my racing thoughts. They kill me. I suffered from some serious childhood abuse so I often flashback into those memories (definitely have a ptsd diagnosis coming as well) and then before I know it, it's an hour later and my already shitty mood is just shot to oblivion. I am so. fucking. depressed.

 I've moved to a new city a year and a half ago and I don't have a single friend in my area besides roommates/girlfriend. Honestly, it scares me to talk to anyone I haven't known for years at this point. My desire to engage in friendships is shot. I would honestly rather fuck off in my room and work on my projects all day and night. Sometimes I feel like code is the only thing in this world that makes sense. It just is, or it isn't. There's no grey. And that brings me to the next thing...

Ever since I realized that there is actually something wrong with my head, I have been lower than low. I pride myself in my mind and my work. I refuse to be limited.  I just can't accept that for some months of the year (when I'm low), my critical thinking is shot. It makes me feel so fucking useless. And somehow, despite all of this, I am doing relatively well for myself. So there's that I guess. I do seriously wonder how long I'll be able to keep this up. I just can't really help but feel that there is just no fucking point to anything anymore besides my work. I don't feel as if I could ever possibly achieve happiness, so I spend my time working towards some stupid never ending monetary goal. In mania, I have a hard time discerning what is real. The one thing that I can understand is that money is the only god, and with enough money you can do anything. So I pursue this because it is a constant, providing stability above all else. If I could fuck off to some island with my girlfriend and enough books/a working computer, I don't think I'd ever come back. I feel different. I'm losing my ability to blend in. I just act.. very eccentric to put it in a good way. And I feel like its becoming noticeable. 

I guess that's the end of my ramble. I feel embarrassed when I open up like this. Sometimes I find it hard to believe there are people just like me who are struggling just as much..... It's a lonely world.",2.5649736445783127,4.333580149933066,3.9687246904283815,87.39768542921688,76.14859437751004,7.024841030789827,25.326493473895574,7.8658589789855275,1.365172038152611,2880,102,599,44,64,950,320,747,0.168,0.7240000000000001,0.108,-0.9937,4,2,2,0,1,1,96.0,0,1,1,10,50,46,10,4,41,0,58,15,5,3,8,119,108,55,1,11,28,0,11,6,3,4,2,0,2,2,43,33,2,3,22,1,5,11,15,26,2,3,17,16,88,19,87,81,14,114,0,7,4,6,14,46,8,19,59,419,131,10,0.059511714609442025,0.07051165038460064,0.11614969758155315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550708853976384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06567265692404926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059019629617819536,0.041611974571208,0.0,0.09794614079372282,0.0,0.055635419668876564,0.0,0.11182642976284217,0.04576083509574652,0.04968979589290418,0.03627778885815125,0.1314520263763447,0.050640085887740036,0.06704932311228626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252814521739896,0.0,0.06431102156886362,0.0,0.09503052320669708,0.0,0.0,0.1151403979253336,0.0,0.05125735258974276,0.0,0.0,0.06217707534408703,0.0,0.0,0.0520791024970904,0.0,0.0,0.058298823970876865,0.0,0.0,0.04971440117976125,0.06694266887782226,0.10541943026247312,0.12298301935125858,0.0,0.0,0.16149525892260355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2407272882678761,0.08503036161597642,0.0,0.0,0.054392629007415816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04597860308206397,0.27508810598717864,0.18655448776796635,0.0,0.033821878860547265,0.04991560270022464,0.0,0.0,0.13111772610466205,0.0,0.0,0.06335132681758761,0.10662161399607313,0.0,0.061076188319368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03988944784960408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11721410233656525,0.0,0.0,0.06718148200326134,0.06428286403969696,0.0,0.0,0.05289674634298723,0.06584089482127127,0.0,0.03270608198355663,0.048509990329435836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17444650623213967,0.0,0.0,0.10533198940982227,0.0,0.06657838614091302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07944906323567982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12626504928468307,0.06008986687271075,0.0,0.19000673130552356,0.0632515344609684,0.04374795774358496,0.0,0.04589910308763308,0.05747678481076525,0.0632913836328238,0.1116954254537055,0.0,0.11420619041515682,0.06775448152383835,0.0,0.0,0.08065335598927523,0.0905226813220941,0.06332466023230486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04125792968650623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251561238404986,0.06709051642271477,0.0,0.0,0.06416369382571421,0.0,0.06956600969457302,0.0598257104283591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773735999795598,0.1143741847900592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059581608226605236,0.0,0.04742313153606069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217583968054717,0.049228705302020434,0.06689366066411047,0.059554693258007274,0.0,0.05042408266576684,0.0458150253856644,0.2354344298373619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062214565488336926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04474540306203488,0.09566652387877143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15814775524735206,0.07626540748802979,0.05846995744629786,0.04724565387686802,0.13880703747718842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619537937017693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982067942474777,0.10530465351602082,0.0944752580293432,0.04773670776840633,0.0,0.10701635700698577,0.0,0.10740013195990067,0.0,0.0,0.1147343384060277,0.12907583178831425,0.21662618508386974,0.0,0.0,0.04227541458404053,0.06506671761995304,0.0,0.11497077912082178
bipolarreddit,young_wulf,2018/03/26,"Does anyone else have the urge to stop taking their meds? I struggle with the urge to stop taking my meds all the time. I'm tired of the weight gain and the side effects. The anti-psychotics seem to have the worst side effects. But I know if I stop taking them, I'll turn into a crazy bitch.  Yet, even on medication I still also struggle with impulsive sex with strangers. Does anyone also still experience impulsive actions even on medication? This is something that makes me feel quite ashamed and is not healthy. ",4.783750000000001,6.967949875000006,4.454583333333336,84.49875,71.08333333333334,6.883333333333333,27.625,7.6454224807358475,1.6110875,412,15,75,5,8,125,61,96,0.277,0.6920000000000001,0.031,-0.975,0,0,1,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,4,7,5,1,3,8,0,4,5,0,3,1,19,13,6,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,6,1,3,5,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,0,2,8,0,10,13,2,13,0,0,0,1,2,5,1,2,7,46,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327882429708928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20354010956422314,0.1491304066050806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547388423042686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12158609111101595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19226523504762186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14237318560913162,0.0,0.0,0.07359308698703901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07998898849365907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715395149113036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.323340473186864,0.29324718041165115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15480746700734893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250079356519592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204942066289318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232468520107478,0.36505217447354016,0.0,0.30431527478507303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3283003631379052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848697998218184,0.167285207976789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583136650743419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772373980798897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,oh_i_dont_think_s0,2018/03/26,"Depot (long acting injection) for bipolar Hi all. I currently work mixed day and night shifts, taking lithium and quetiapine. The lithium causes no problems for me but I'm really struggling with having to delay my quetiapine (otherwise I'd be passed out at work!), and I can see a pronounced reduction in its effectiveness.

Is anyone here taking depot antipsychotics, and if so, which ones? I am thinking this might be a better option for me as the drowsiness of APs is a real problem for my working life.

Thanks ",4.620132850241543,7.444560554347827,5.711884057971016,72.31814009661835,73.8913043478261,8.001932367149758,29.78743961352657,8.841846274778883,3.0965468599033823,409,18,61,9,9,135,70,92,0.145,0.777,0.078,-0.6890000000000001,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,5,2,5,0,1,5,0,8,2,0,2,1,18,14,8,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,2,0,0,2,1,3,0,1,0,1,7,2,11,11,1,10,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,3,5,45,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14949921504313748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18909540917269868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21963925691689526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13788818632911906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15101860046432378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18921295970650887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22681603012062024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20064390840986596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448815339243026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40916991318392976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24335980815954014,0.13697059579210308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17037694107489015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2235180810475592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32151334818855354,0.0,0.0,0.1968452724230187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369992492773275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4669633435309648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,CraigTheTexan,2018/03/26,"Side effects/medicine advice. First I want to be honest, as far as I know I am not bipolar. BUT, I am epileptic and we take a lot of the same medicine. So I am asking you guys, because I can’t seem to get any useful advice elsewhere. 

I take, Divalproex 500mg, and I feel like complete crap while on it, and weak and and tired, and depressed most of the time, mood swings, I don’t hardly eat.  I also have still have seizure while on this medicine. I won’t have health Insurance through work for another 2 months.  I don’t know whether I should keep taking it or wait till I talk to a neurologist. They can’t seem to figure out what the source of my episodes are, I’ve don’t many test. This is my second medicine. The first one ( Levetiracetam 500mg) it didn’t seem to help either, I was very depressed and suicidal on that one. I’m just terrified I’m going to keep having episodes. Any advice would help. Stop taking my current medicine, and wait, or continue and tuff it out.  Thanks in advance, I really appreciate it",2.986154737757168,4.7484461724137965,3.657206606780644,90.11076499565344,74.96059113300494,6.7469139379889915,26.226890756302524,7.5105763829236425,1.2214169226311211,795,29,168,10,17,251,118,203,0.162,0.72,0.118,-0.9275,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,1,1,1,4,4,8,1,0,6,0,20,6,1,1,0,38,42,20,1,3,7,0,2,1,0,3,4,0,0,1,9,12,1,5,7,0,0,2,8,4,0,5,2,2,22,3,20,36,4,21,0,2,0,0,8,8,1,7,12,106,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3730589705915585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10176649522548756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17307674813205773,0.1334389041368634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896708584519737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0775740139473774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13342538734599552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21921063603130408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13021455257506662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06434440536957735,0.090911638575048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164876027479551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648595413134542,0.0,0.07232245914196844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126003345632831,0.0,0.0,0.11399628852193455,0.0,0.0,0.13526706824994547,0.0,0.0,0.17059389126154495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22622177744219274,0.0,0.0,0.13987302643371666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062170803557131366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818841330973958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290175064253608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157444326350144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1724637790599257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08152338648877733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34754696896127635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162672409771094,0.10639162842160237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13919729735742364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3827223908036392,0.10228347001365623,0.0,0.11716013301561193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420393717594323,0.14626193403584584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099082369784971,0.0,0.10499944272333048,0.07505882541074509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09264380896404856,0.0,0.0,0.09039893840819513,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,NostalgicPhil,2018/03/27,"I’m so stressed and tired and over it. So I’m in college now diagnosed about 2 months ago but I’ve been dealing with Bipolar for like a year and a half now. I have so much going on with life and I just can’t handle it anymore. I do theatre so right now I’m designing a show, trying to do homework, trying to balance my meds because the ones I’m in now don’t fucking work, I’m in charge of setting up a banquet for our department and EVERYONE keeps talking shit about it. I can’t take it anymore. Why do people have to be so mean? Why can’t they understand that I have feelings and I have a lot of problems right now?? Why do all these things have to pile up on me now?? Why can’t I just be better now?? Sorry for the long rant but I just need to talk to people who kind of get it. I don’t know anyone else who’s bipolar so no one understands how I was fine with all the stress last week because I was manic but now I can’t because I could barely pull myself out of bed today. ",0.4470623742454691,2.261890272300473,2.547873910127432,94.86112676056341,82.89671361502347,5.183903420523139,21.879946344735075,6.18269132825596,0.18628477531857746,760,25,176,6,21,256,110,213,0.125,0.83,0.046,-0.9441,0,0,0,0,0,1,17.0,1,0,1,2,20,9,2,2,8,0,22,7,1,1,2,29,38,16,0,3,6,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,2,0,10,10,0,1,5,1,0,3,8,5,0,3,3,1,18,4,27,32,4,30,0,0,0,1,7,11,2,1,16,120,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079600376118236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415671409973288,0.08515883438707042,0.12478888436631567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227272975004171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10771390758437532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09723990114464832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255607830485985,0.0,0.1236149172390002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10174043650524044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11637615814940712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06158099767343458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259346714983327,0.0636305730570054,0.0,0.06921641691422599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108253100408125,0.0,0.12682619073772472,0.06693294052464363,0.09927561177164514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602431780392715,0.059500745825796925,0.0,0.0,0.10778086757769682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10354203119996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326656910530968,0.13528192485358226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721211220093963,0.0,0.08953012027543289,0.09030620270386494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650569543076777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16886856427897626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11653717667664015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2080170507663706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501632288144202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363346297223008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790214910821455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157139040402727,0.19578137657077094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08091227727459674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13998040339078247,0.11544326866147572,0.0,0.0,0.16537567502327136,0.0,0.0,0.2535766644993669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09769309034055004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4395883706538168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866502303509698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07842916724005462
bipolarreddit,Inferno2589,2018/03/27,"Bipolar with social anxiety Hello!
I am new here and I figured I would find a chat board that I can relate to. I've been diagnosed bipolar for over 12 years as well as ADHD, PTSD, trichotillomania and social anxiety. My fiance and I just recently moved and what two friends I had turned out to only want me around because I finally got my disability and had income finally. Given that, I'm back to having no friends again in my community.  It's painfully hard for me to talk to new people as people see me as socially awkward and just not someone to fit in anywhere. With that said I was just hoping to make a friend or friends who know what my struggle is daily with these conditions.

My fiance and my dad are my friends right now, but I would like some females to hang out with and talk to. My fiance and I are getting married this year in October so I am under a lot of stress and my anxiety is really high. I don't bite much, tend to have a good sense of humor but I'm way to good at seeing through people. If someone's fake I know it pretty quickly which also keeps me isolated. I just want a friend. :(",3.5252809285149027,4.9093595022421574,5.029918227380642,82.36453442363494,72.81165919282513,7.937641783170668,27.91585333685043,8.4952907291091,2.0170149828541284,871,33,172,15,17,293,128,223,0.121,0.716,0.163,0.8987,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,0,13,17,0,3,5,0,16,4,0,1,0,39,33,20,0,6,9,1,1,1,6,2,4,1,0,0,11,17,0,1,4,1,0,2,3,5,1,1,7,4,27,12,33,24,3,26,0,0,2,0,16,12,0,5,12,124,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124921604463608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312472174557953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385527573161639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253302394553607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992723385820337,0.0,0.06336386361518777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10550191437652673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22773317670838636,0.09500378150315526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4818455633501179,0.0,0.0543069349584253,0.0,0.0,0.17436814873882664,0.08313425484977427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931142390471295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982352390429664,0.0,0.1032407677322002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239102840776148,0.0,0.0,0.1142508285880598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05078224159075997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883702610819156,0.0,0.0,0.06938404690131647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047700891328237,0.07641148248440356,0.0,0.0,0.20078131928211584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905480204157322,0.11060473255762676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21618697654832866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10574936113336024,0.0,0.0,0.12150605892148605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06658978284180649,0.0,0.1026330768574676,0.0,0.0,0.08876840097049092,0.09887543012692153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656613003954284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3178762934541103,0.17614440116223926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11906856437255264,0.10866580810355496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16709399228535268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11306223364100912,0.1015390913292734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261882386720124,0.0825066459836886,0.0,0.0,0.09345897398128324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14767898972303434,0.0,0.0,0.13387425193651267
bipolarreddit,Debauchery_,2018/03/27,"Two week long depressive episode I have been deeply depressed for two weeks. My psychiatrist doubled my dose of my mood stabilizer so that may play a part, but lately getting out of bed has been nearly impossible. I am on the brink of losing my job because I can’t get myself to plaster on a fake smile. My friends don’t want anything to do with me because I’m such a downer. My mom thinks I’m just being lazy. I’ve lost interest in everything and have spent hours just staring at my ceiling.  Can feel my quality of life diminish and my doctor can’t see me for another three weeks. I don’t know what I’m going to do but I’m scared. ",3.257846153846156,4.628522169230768,4.729230769230772,84.31076923076925,73.46153846153847,7.969230769230768,28.384615384615394,8.548686976883017,2.0176000000000003,502,20,104,9,10,168,86,130,0.157,0.737,0.106,-0.7914,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,4,10,0,1,4,0,15,3,0,0,0,13,29,5,0,1,4,1,1,0,1,1,3,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,3,1,1,1,4,6,0,3,4,3,16,3,16,23,2,14,0,4,2,0,2,7,0,1,6,66,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184916634064051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451196763936106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150006498145985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037771722433553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18050002142723812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849053710908206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916703070036748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13624630733234586,0.0,0.18426948167822796,0.0,0.10022283829647476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736676142827676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17499853867446927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691644806205198,0.0,0.19892863397117488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124560063597507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560627513567973,0.0,0.19728870935152468,0.19250506931718184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065370706791148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19096809144711135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17655547497405785,0.0,0.1405268129262692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112996909985442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445334512737155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10401483316679833,0.0,0.4243680574227252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lots_of_punctures,2018/03/27,"Can i be bi-polar For 3 years i have been struggling with depression and anger. 2018 has been hell. I have lost 2 friends this year, and January my parents divorced, and my mother whomst i was very close to moved out of the country, leaving me with my asshole dad who doesn't love me.

I have periods where i am low all of the time. These periods i have this constant feeling of sadness and self-hate. Last year i had a suicide attempt.

A few months pass and i am suddenly very angry. I want to kill everyone and everything. I have been arrested a few times for violence.

Then i have a week where i feel superior. Noone is as good as i am. I am a legend and everyone else are inferior.

Disclaimer i am norwegian and my english isn't all that great

",1.31936470588235,3.738190826666667,3.1911764705882355,87.89911764705882,84.06666666666666,6.99607843137255,26.823529411764717,8.124751697461798,1.9958941176470584,584,27,120,13,17,195,92,150,0.308,0.617,0.075,-0.9911,1,0,0,0,1,1,17.0,0,0,0,2,2,14,3,1,7,0,23,1,0,0,2,17,28,11,2,1,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,12,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,9,0,0,6,2,22,5,12,21,4,21,1,5,0,1,7,5,1,0,14,84,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946995494591608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551799864507829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15050875068073533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3443199336222377,0.16192500061500345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821985307685309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13919874208892338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15111788181299035,0.0,0.19863784275205812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19933119152776704,0.0,0.0,0.14686243556706569,0.0,0.19077380584437856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19667662206307032,0.0,0.16261028059698907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438098170302745,0.19149198631472986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000572434541768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18795639705198547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18835259610059235,0.0,0.1970765206376752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21011692085804148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2973179111039004,0.10626881725381042,0.0,0.14452134748349582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3480703361526189
bipolarreddit,29TwentyNine29,2018/03/27,Advice??   Does anyone have any advice on how to approach a doctor about a possible misdiagnosis? And/or what to expect if I do?  I'm starting to think that the initial diagnosis of BD might actually be BPD. I've cross referenced the two and am starting to doubt. I'm currently medicated for BD and I'm not sure if I would need all the medications I'm on. I don't want to screw up the balance I have but I also don't want to live with the side effects of certain meds if I don't have to. ,1.1881553398058244,3.133470582524275,4.2367087378640775,83.03292718446603,81.03883495145631,7.226796116504855,24.863106796116504,8.238735603445708,1.635606601941748,382,15,82,8,10,138,62,103,0.073,0.885,0.042,0.2693,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,1,1,7,0,11,4,0,2,3,21,21,8,0,8,5,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,2,0,1,0,0,6,2,15,18,1,9,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,5,3,52,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.1954263440733506,0.0,0.0,0.3913864564272815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1601490558697828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13618469293329466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002750294574925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522223592721581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049761395962319,0.17525019548986046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17683458082819836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224453900442036,0.4034848021536376,0.0,0.21244581328867795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14849137093232462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22576476081271454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834922526916696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18874410161611926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12831948834119986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19562639451630465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2362388524354941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14226002974382904,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,sonofabiscuits,2018/03/27,"Finally something positive I nailed another interview this morning. And have a phone interview this afternoon. This is the longest ive been without work in 4 years. Its driving me crazy. But im pushing through. Even when my life feels like its in shambles, im pushing through. 

I got squeezed in to see my psychiatrist yesterday because things were getting extra bad. Got prescribed depakote. Had some wonderful dreams last night and woke up this morning ready to jump back on the horse. 

Im still having some issues with wanting to push people away though. And im almost drowning in stress. But i will pull through this.",3.9044780219780217,7.0142929642857155,3.678928571428575,84.03145604395608,79.17857142857143,6.6604395604395625,33.615384615384606,7.882392219407189,2.939599450549451,500,28,83,9,13,151,80,112,0.07200000000000001,0.8,0.128,0.7624,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,8,3,0,1,3,0,8,1,0,0,0,13,16,7,1,1,3,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,2,1,0,6,1,2,0,0,6,3,7,1,15,9,3,22,0,0,1,0,3,7,0,4,10,53,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15757743365952628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16500999926766632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478487696111497,0.12100329375860933,0.1313924659953004,0.09592770614720944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393751625268303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956802666801302,0.11242095782879556,0.0,0.17238470011806795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221625704652825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25171692239059923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.679921007976815,0.1642472554217599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12827275983443814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111509308345174,0.07688015961904476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14767556524469816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909646590327196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539882858790974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12114658667614628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256711884544467,0.0,0.1802600662716308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10454572805227673,0.0,0.15460944762315745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281743436198807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169339485715275,0.17065467400604742,0.11456295259763223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10133733304549544
bipolarreddit,Haolmi,2018/03/27,I'm so unhappy with where my health is at. I'm overweight. I have constant headaches and my anxiety is through the roof. I had such a bad panic attack that I thought I was having a heart attack last week. I constantly have stomach pain. I'm so exhausted I can barely function. I can't focus. I have no motivation. I'm on 60mg of prozac and 40mg of Latuda and it doesn't seem to be doing much. I switched psychiatrists and I still have two more weeks until my first appointment. No doctor has been able to find the cause for my headaches/stomach aches and I'm beginning to think it's just anxiety related and nothing will ever help. I want to be functional again.,2.2475028702640643,4.453276873134328,3.840447761194032,85.88761768082665,78.77611940298506,7.406659012629162,26.7256027554535,8.384062270229773,1.9795655568312287,527,22,106,11,13,175,87,134,0.258,0.701,0.042,-0.9798,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,8,6,2,1,4,0,18,8,2,2,1,16,28,9,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,3,7,1,0,5,0,0,0,4,6,0,2,4,0,15,0,12,21,2,14,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,11,72,18,2,0.17577122622165914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26892901390513285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3999302899704907,0.0,0.0,0.14676163192606126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18056546774227236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37989250334700503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17990929810245018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15899513721010405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606517164023432,0.14951091523137072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18683659404053032,0.0,0.20828974937812392,0.1178157478379461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432770092437051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292120757694189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16865723213586828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870329774927404,0.20622966194475906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16001552284662346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14037112831356607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262710443179405,0.0,0.1395427197835031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717029474604681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10367442330097276,0.0,0.28198615063618154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ConcernedVulture,2018/03/27,"Hypomania or Depression? (BPII) So, my therapist wants me to monitor my mood and how often it switches from hypomania, to depression, to neutral. But for a few days, I've just been annoyed with absolutely everyone and everything. Usually when I'm hypomanic, I'm in a super good mood, with the grandiosity, the rapid speech, feeling like I need to do everything all at once, etc. Sometimes I have a tendency to get super annoyed at people for stupid reasons, but it's always paired with the other symptoms. The past week, however, I've only had the irritability, none of the other symptoms, and I don't know what to call it. I've never had this before, but can the irritability come with depression as well as hypomania?",7.194318181818183,7.8408375227272735,8.544999999999998,63.18750000000002,63.92424242424242,12.35757575757576,37.71212121212121,11.93303328291395,5.091603030303032,571,28,94,19,8,198,83,132,0.158,0.752,0.09,-0.8912,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,2,6,13,3,0,10,0,7,2,0,2,2,22,15,12,0,2,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,7,8,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,6,1,0,3,2,6,5,19,12,4,10,0,3,0,0,1,3,0,2,7,67,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449980045903811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828214382677196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17793860585463006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15010927518094105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123830706190904,0.0,0.4502687937224781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943455948423072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16651258184407292,0.31322670905354705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811092476495952,0.12449114263681728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910434849579527,0.0,0.0,0.14616074299721205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576855701720004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513447227207566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292113368225273,0.1343997998077641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18558086068873694,0.0,0.13253233101878964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16635057233319436,0.1208097134221189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17916796304832536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17234726884304927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3622450386809544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20232890723417987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919224066214859,0.0,0.10278286792342196,0.0,0.13978059561003064,0.0,0.1566803705339768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Cbcb23,2018/03/27,"Business travel w/ bipolar? Hi Friends -

I've got Bipolar, but i've also got a cool startup job. They want me to travel for three weeks a a time, which I just can't do given my sleep schedule and the time zone changes. HR knows I have ""health issues"" that prohibit the trip duration they want, and they asked me to make a list of what I am able to do and what I am unable to do. So far, I have the following: 
- Must have solid 9 hours off-set for sleep 
- Trip duration of no more than 5 nights -
 Must have set schedule of work hours

What am I missing? What else do I include? Clients are film production people.

THANK YOU!",2.7007142857142874,4.110435103174607,3.5589206349206366,91.98885714285716,74.95238095238095,6.627301587301588,25.29841269841269,7.1686216300943375,0.9215612698412698,477,16,105,5,10,152,78,126,0.046,0.831,0.123,0.8117,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,1,3,1,3,4,0,0,7,1,15,5,2,1,2,11,26,6,0,4,2,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,3,0,5,2,1,0,1,3,1,14,3,10,21,1,16,0,1,0,0,7,1,0,0,9,62,20,2,0.19819795574572235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15849883360290498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18528833386489574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209667157067892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16556895981935127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531272489578584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3170340218753657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106751588034576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3903701249432872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20686717235303254,0.1966808886313578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10892441315351477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229867449261856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859953551696258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13740550706413188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.396682183878058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18247404891551056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311416437221397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338045788615825,0.0,0.15898244498282293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14429047230914602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,donedward,2018/03/27,"Finding a job when depressed is impossible. Finding new job I stressful by its nature for anybody. But when you depressed it gets million times harder. Fact of not haveing no job a specially if you have absolutely no savings is hard. Amounts of stress are incredible and thoughts spiralling arround head aren't marking it any easier. And there comes depression when doing anything seems like impossible amount of effort. So even if I make myself to apply and get to interview it is all for nothing. There is absolutely no one who would hire me I know I wouldn't. Everyone looks for someone happy, enthusiastic someone they will like to work with. There os no chance in the world they will like me I don't so why anyone would.

Another think is when I think how I lost mu previous job. I have been harassed and discriminated for long time. My manager was not being but hostile towards  me to over a year. I know is not how everyone behaves but it makes me feel worse. 

At this point I have no job and no perspective to get one. I have no job so I have no money and I mean 0 nothing. I can't pay bills, rent, buy food. I can't sleep my thoughts keep spinning arround everything. I keep thinking about killing myself. Not only because I'm depressed AF but I don't want to end up on street. I can't find anything to hold on to. I've been suicidal before hell I tried to kill myself but this time is bad it is really bad.

I lost all hope. I can't stand other people. I'm lost.",1.4702605363984669,4.086246972413793,3.0951149425287383,87.21999042145596,86.17241379310344,5.980842911877395,24.95210727969349,7.3871296695380915,1.4382337164750956,1162,49,227,20,36,382,154,290,0.212,0.679,0.109,-0.9917,7,0,0,0,0,2,28.0,0,2,2,5,14,23,5,2,4,0,32,3,2,4,3,48,58,22,3,7,11,0,2,3,0,5,0,0,1,0,10,8,1,3,13,0,5,1,20,16,0,3,8,3,34,7,26,44,4,23,1,7,1,0,6,10,1,4,14,149,44,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057573602801312,0.08877632088576479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059198193733909214,0.0,0.13934053065118054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14137979243608653,0.05160965311529909,0.0,0.07204180157214805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07292950005738895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916797599885487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498610580611834,0.0,0.0,0.055918976643045466,0.0,0.0,0.16179785469639188,0.07608945972312839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04280805223366095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321407784315228,0.0,0.10237458597827354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269844585144466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012511799530494,0.07584123352234366,0.0,0.08688845136323724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408925696789246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5040885532836393,0.15050436179360127,0.18733367437652973,0.0,0.09305691438537747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408589328610195,0.0,0.0,0.07492390807831495,0.07109542368345652,0.0,0.2772583206319714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11302614417768167,0.0,0.0,0.09222260188658207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08176785354435337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624724674922321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11473939995259536,0.06438986951998762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058694520983672165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08003370530521617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054237153440640035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707382750419732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08472393597227718,0.0,0.1434690204087599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939618878521536,0.0,0.0,0.09260735477832838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16274549865253565,0.0,0.13442560225071576,0.1481026672167973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057480479385178286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04993630915267745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07639500269243106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06163552200815602,0.0,0.08627861953691078,0.12028403883813635,0.0,0.0,0.054520063245145134
bipolarreddit,cutie_cthulhu,2018/03/27,"Mania?? I was diagnosed with bipolar over 4 years ago. We have a difficult history.  Last September I started a med (latuda 80mg) that actually works! I’m actually stable for the first time since I was diagnosed. 

I was super anxious last night and realized something. I quit my job this month. I’m impulsively spending and it’s causing issues in my relationship. I’m not sleeping much. I cut all my hair off yesterday after pulling an all nighter and I’ve been very anxious. I feel pretty shitty about myself and now I’m scared that I’m starting to lose control again. I made a therapy appointment and I talk to my psychiatrist again in a week.. 
am I manic or am I just over thinking this?",2.0974530075187983,4.822369060150379,4.242852443609022,79.4489403195489,83.96240601503759,7.535526315789473,28.61325187969925,8.472884824447931,2.7752259398496246,547,27,98,14,16,187,89,133,0.13,0.78,0.09,-0.6315,1,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,6,5,5,1,1,6,0,7,5,2,3,2,18,17,6,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,7,0,1,3,0,1,1,1,4,0,1,5,2,17,1,11,12,3,22,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,1,16,61,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.3053242356869324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867393475277154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3534635932111484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16070617816177873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17545989413814073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175650425263095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910037308509786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13306712562890674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632819076470507,0.15524179273181066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25503769753883204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17501547817178487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14802657808368175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737687132698853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248682975917731,0.0,0.11500083116054274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14680761601826006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15915493365169392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663923732238177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679571828648358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566229561640778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294081442583437,0.0,0.15655220443258971,0.0,0.0,0.12043455902270922,0.0,0.0,0.2214569785529087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573992396150058,0.0,0.0,0.17890188862416892,0.0,0.0,0.10023993921415672,0.0,0.0,0.09122097067005384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12907874500414174,0.0,0.0,0.12548611074398472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138896196334359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007417324146098
bipolarreddit,lost_frisson,2018/03/28,"Are any of you successfully managing your condition without the use of prescription medication? Hello. I was wondering if anybody is able to manage their bipolar condition without being on medication?

If so what are some aspects of your routine that help you prevent mania and depression?

I know its not the norm or even encouraged methodology, but I do hear about people doing this and was looking for more stories.

Thank you.",7.106484018264839,9.797339397260274,7.582397260273975,62.37076484018266,65.986301369863,10.89406392694064,39.56392694063927,10.864195022040775,5.523102283105023,348,20,47,11,6,114,58,73,0.03,0.828,0.142,0.7655,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,5,1,1,3,4,0,0,2,0,8,3,0,1,0,14,14,7,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,2,9,3,9,11,2,1,0,1,1,0,10,1,0,5,0,43,13,3,0.24697883473835025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16795407688719674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21272250845850935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16312719103181422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783630966250813,0.0,0.16554470683471673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13573310851766607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20740001797120425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4976103850153018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17122402647214932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22738492837413746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21331041498350886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.47615756645499796,0.2678380108620101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,pigeonsplease,2018/03/28,"My job has become too much. What do I do next? I work at a coffee house/bar. I've been in there for almost five years. I've even been told I'm a crucial part of the team and promoted to assistant manager. 

I like certain parts of my job: restocking, getting everything in order before the end of my shift, making drinks (coffee & booze), flexible hours (I work 3-4 days a week).

For the longest time I also loved the company culture. They seemed to really care. And I love most of my coworkers, and they've become close friends. But lately it seems like the company doesn't care at all, and besides making me feel undervalued, my day to day experience is also incredibly stressful. Management has made this job pretty toxic, and I've been super depressed for months (maybe I would've been otherwise, but the focus of most of my depressive thoughts has been my shitty work environment).

I'm feeling really ready to leave this job, but I'm also terrified about what to do next.

I don't really like dealing with people all day. I've gotten by this long at my job without losing my shit mostly by being the utility player and spending more effort keeping things running smoothly while other coworkers do more of the small talk that I find so emotionally taxing. But, if I can avoid it, I'd rather not go into another customer service job.

I've considered so many different careers, and I've gotten pretty enthralled with each idea for a time & then talked myself out of every one. I've seriously considered nursing, social work, teaching, and making toys/theatrical puppets/art directing sort of deal. 

I just don't know what I can do that'll give me the time off I need to function while being fulfilling and not emotionally draining. 

Do you have any advice on selecting jobs/careers? 

I'm just feeling so overwhelmed by the prospect of making these decisions, but I don't feel like I have the luxury to put off these decisions any longer because this job has really gotten to the point of pushing me over the edge.",6.743396097226977,7.244269015748031,7.254161816729432,72.55831222184185,64.87926509186353,10.510601392217275,33.36311765377154,10.374825546531014,3.5751242953326483,1609,64,277,37,23,529,201,381,0.065,0.795,0.14,0.9691,9,1,1,0,0,0,52.0,0,1,1,9,14,19,1,3,17,0,27,5,1,5,3,55,57,24,0,3,12,0,5,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,15,15,2,2,12,2,2,4,7,8,0,2,11,5,30,11,41,43,11,38,0,4,0,2,14,14,1,8,23,174,45,19,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07269576460201932,0.0,0.0,0.07449362415502299,0.0,0.0,0.1784756402613301,0.0,0.16120909426174698,0.0,0.10117928423224808,0.0780073173029686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045349148807842,0.1643219637377044,0.06330277734247923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169679649379364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19190875753119385,0.15339138126675453,0.12814878653035566,0.0,0.0,0.0777246224470997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287660375098756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16736373125741608,0.0658899230174091,0.0,0.0,0.049135730234466116,0.0,0.06267912652555131,0.0,0.06685943468722058,0.07277041467199344,0.0,0.0,0.15046090130318546,0.053146217609691966,0.0,0.0,0.06799365409374472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05747567806015064,0.0,0.03886715762289975,0.07136433427739289,0.042279131823744966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07326190399892805,0.0,0.0,0.08398039462685476,0.0,0.0,0.5167634930259806,0.06612372189326,0.0,0.0,0.0408843268974628,0.0,0.08391829728774149,0.07877121360778236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453782202853655,0.0,0.0,0.06583527017935642,0.0,0.08322649300087732,0.0,0.0,0.13428477867842764,0.07039224812295193,0.19863103594357828,0.07542260352376932,0.07473754758234899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05937960804445337,0.0,0.054687253776969036,0.055161304482864895,0.0,0.0,0.15823513311915835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050410473704872436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611202645955278,0.0,0.05157458741966451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07032522391539403,0.0,0.0,0.15136840592597645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478529232745472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19063168177460366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354487876471182,0.0,0.0,0.07636312064194715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07583407172412618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852166792867844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195881988362304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049423258087619736,0.0,0.0,0.059059558358515424,0.13013708655332665,0.0,0.0,0.07108549027663573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059673401613602274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171198616995046,0.0,0.2166353223225449,0.0,0.0,0.05284649718815766,0.0,0.0,0.04790651189988559
bipolarreddit,PeeUrPantsNews,2018/03/28,"Now that I'm finally balancing out I'm terrified how much of my life has passed and how bad I screwed things up It's been a long road but I've finally begun to get some normalcy in my life.  I really went down the tubes for a while, a long while, and I made a lot of decisions that have left my ""old life "" way in the past.  

I feel like I have a twin, old life me, who had the life I wanted to have.  Then it all fell to shit.   Then there's current me, the remaining other twin, who's life is, well, crap.  I mean I'm a loser, not being down, I just am. 

The thing that really freaks me out though is when I look back - so much time has passed, yet I feel stuck in cement, going nowhere. 

I had suicidal ideation for years, bad, and that's gone away lately. Which is cool.  I actually want to live again, only problem is I can't shake the horror of all the time that's passed and how bad I fucked everything up and how low I have sunk. 

Anyone else deal with this? I'd love to hear any words of wisdom. ",1.2923004694835676,2.678612525821599,2.985563380281693,94.73402582159628,78.67136150234742,6.986854460093897,18.875586854460085,7.793537801064563,0.2362093896713615,760,15,187,12,18,252,119,213,0.195,0.672,0.133,-0.9406,1,0,0,1,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,1,14,17,4,1,13,1,16,11,2,5,2,28,34,17,1,3,3,0,2,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,14,8,0,0,4,0,0,8,2,12,1,0,7,5,21,5,22,26,6,44,0,2,1,3,5,13,4,2,23,117,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.11478973133045925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999230803430729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08224950181734246,0.12052564652094115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105170835172266,0.0904500670337079,0.2946479468742612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127117436345075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826461667147372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10571809308758076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11895433789131182,0.08403476348250005,0.0,0.2577154257035339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10874686869090297,0.0614567234504717,0.0,0.06685173475837204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325773508050793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13269155513982311,0.0,0.1278051383951031,0.0,0.4985125032165079,0.057467985995298614,0.0,0.10386928189980564,0.2081973697153486,0.09877941894209616,0.0,0.0,0.10000466240112674,0.10616550079270012,0.11130417531227976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12813335311488705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17294289766415935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468654071755137,0.0,0.0,0.08946277506215622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122909686995214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11255584689295103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071334340149367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12074531491703724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286679257373417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1562960447883416,0.0,0.11557069619490552,0.0,0.13718178239418866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13876222537688207,0.09336907208862576,0.0,0.0,0.1057633306377838,0.10904401717318217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757497443438815
bipolarreddit,CynderBlane,2018/03/28,"Lamictal Withdraws So, I am being forced to stop taking Lamictal cold turkey due to some issues with my doctor. I have been on 250 mg for 2-3 years now. Can anyone provide some experiences on what it was like withdrawing from this med?

Thanks",2.9315217391304316,5.65299693478261,4.158869565217394,81.63178260869569,79.65217391304347,7.1582608695652175,22.243478260869566,8.238735603445708,1.620631304347826,193,6,34,4,5,63,41,46,0.11,0.782,0.108,-0.0164,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,0,4,8,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,2,7,5,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,5,23,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25393728731203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37172043889781575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3552504773330426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3790556914923657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774267825152327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40340060155736895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3036268350634149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27305905067813,0.0,0.0,0.3343586418488921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23386992222740946
bipolarreddit,zdlr,2018/03/28,"Panic Attacks and Music That Soothes Them I wrote a Medium article about the panic attacks that go along with my Bipolar Disorder and how music seems to help me come down from the panic attacks.

Check it out and tell me what you think:

https://medium.com/@ants000/panic-attacks-and-music-that-soothes-them-69a7dcf93839",13.98471014492754,16.909582543478265,8.603043478260872,60.69340579710146,49.65217391304349,8.742028985507247,32.72463768115942,8.841846274778883,2.860472463768116,271,8,33,3,3,71,36,46,0.355,0.6,0.045,-0.9559,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,1,0,2,6,3,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,11,5,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,2,0,1,2,0,6,0,0,1,0,6,0,7,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,0,24,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5500100233738217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388204576131702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18469718568960727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09158789892868577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080185619797796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7563210158115752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14670913684739004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14085626346975286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326138978808476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BaphometBoy,2018/03/28,"Really stressed out, worried that it’ll send me into a really bad depressive episode So, my aunt passed away in October and since then everything has turned to complete shit. I had to move in with my cousin because he’s handicapped and can’t take care of himself. He has nurses throughout the day so I’m mainly just there for the night. The nurses are complete jerks who move all of my things, take up the laundry room to wash towels all day, chain smoke, and other not professional behavior. On top of that, I recently made a mistake and now two of my closest friends won’t even speak to me or if they do it’s to cancel plans that we had made. Then, my job is opening up a couple leadership roles to apply for but because im so stressed out about everything else my work has suffered lately. I don’t know. I’m stressing hardcore and can’t afford a depressive episode right now. ",6.305028901734103,6.314240803468213,6.36740462427746,80.2246329479769,65.82080924855491,9.69456647398844,34.06300578034682,9.3871,2.9632825433526007,701,29,136,12,10,223,109,173,0.16899999999999998,0.799,0.031,-0.9695,3,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,1,3,9,12,2,3,8,0,13,2,1,2,2,22,22,13,0,2,5,2,0,0,1,2,1,1,1,0,8,11,0,0,1,0,0,4,5,10,0,1,4,1,14,2,23,16,3,27,0,3,0,0,12,14,1,2,9,88,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12631802320475208,0.0,0.11225819878092723,0.16391611838165787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707837250461838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2819316736937286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487638031547778,0.0,0.17341526492179915,0.0,0.23159918339793825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123137865557093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880142610845645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416658151084421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387394578114498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452265681495005,0.0,0.13341857899833065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388893004448233,0.0,0.15166284168740465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544352954752162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2857932177472287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617004203968635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722612559359492,0.0,0.13275086631562405,0.0,0.0,0.1148175860171334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13800861374683296,0.11121651208696284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4620280972390218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20217584963708504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932106595677268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462404706454183,0.13133584952911356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09787951392962617,0.13653814755318286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,unourspoilu,2018/03/28,"After years of struggling with my own mind, I finally decided to go see a doctor the other day. As we were talking, he asked a bunch of question about my insecurities and anxiety, my hundred of ups and downs. And by the end of my appointment, he just told me that there was a lot of chances I may be bipolar. For now, he gave me some pills for my insomnia, he said that it could just be caused by the lack of sleep. A part of me wishes it does but deep down, I know it’s more than that. And now I’m just scared, scared cause all I wanted was the doc to tell me everything will be normal, but it wont, it never is and I don’t know what to do with that. I’m just fucking scared",3.5165900383141766,3.4491063448275874,4.853333333333335,88.9622222222222,71.75862068965517,8.375478927203066,25.766283524904214,8.167268648758528,1.1862260536398463,520,14,125,7,9,174,88,145,0.128,0.853,0.019,-0.9398,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,1,0,0,0,8,6,1,5,8,0,13,6,1,2,2,31,26,8,0,5,6,0,0,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,11,8,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,6,2,15,0,23,13,8,13,0,0,1,1,12,4,1,4,8,93,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12660020164060207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15471179376178618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3400097935667923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13213113871462268,0.0,0.0,0.10672803766314501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693871039502195,0.1448223346347137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14657595152802128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14873268641269535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181287358083178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15299381068070644,0.0,0.0,0.0940523784677468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818991081836576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14069457420492926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16709878609911344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763690133027522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621460936643292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792106820894012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18538785239685907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574198873096155,0.0,0.4970562389290357,0.0,0.1318749420676965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16561056743557973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17300717927711254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330154387288578,0.14464647356661392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581337919362998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761091006347362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903065423112892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657081150723004
bipolarreddit,autumnwolfmoon89,2018/03/29,I feel really angry at everything I hate my life and how much of a mess it has become. I hate how forgotten I am. I hate my alcoholic mother. I hate how everyone uses me. I hate how I'm afraid to go out anymore out of fear of being raped as I was beaten/almost raped before. I hate that I'm so anxious I won't even see a doctor even though my health is bad. I hate that the boy who I've talken to and spoken to online for years uses me and wants everyone else but me. I hate how my family treats me like invisable dirt. I hate how my christian grandmother treats me like some worthless little girl. I hate how old I've become. I hate that everyday is the same and I can't break this terrible pattern.,2.7370024570024576,3.7714815945945968,4.726191646191649,85.14214987714989,74.27027027027026,8.354791154791156,22.914004914004913,8.841846274778883,1.4325054054054056,548,14,118,11,11,189,82,148,0.384,0.578,0.038,-0.9952,0,0,1,0,0,1,12.0,0,0,0,0,11,23,13,2,4,0,8,6,0,9,0,20,27,15,0,1,1,1,1,2,0,1,4,0,0,2,6,6,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,19,0,0,1,2,26,4,11,24,3,9,1,1,1,2,4,4,0,1,5,74,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08716575729067606,0.0816732958787692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214267293572664,0.08088831506277172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810147558731064,0.0,0.1801592621645188,0.06940387882164192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348291383695453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813519793034112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10774283246865878,0.0,0.0,0.15587337428956505,0.07330332566627326,0.0,0.07689008623790243,0.09178075096703613,0.041240568738971584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04635398105685229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8857894467121451,0.0,0.08669737165554102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057610170761270924,0.07969486338177395,0.08174728625687154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059957993844263285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558636847021256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052251175607472285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06499493862960404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013497153826643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14088802829263478,0.0,0.0,0.04810781343053434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052523726228928654
bipolarreddit,Daisynotyou,2018/03/29,"Now What?? Looking back, I can see this shift started when my best friend was diagnosed with brain cancer.  Palliative.  I work at his family physicians office.  Managing the practice.

I seemed to hang in there somewhat until about 3 weeks after he passed.  I didn't see it coming.  I didn't attribute what was happening to what I had experienced with him.  And I didn't talk to anyone about what I felt at any point.

Now, I'm home trying to put the peices of my life together.  Trying to keep what I still have in one peice simultaneously.

It's not really going well.

My thoughts are too scattered to follow.  My feelings are overwhelming and fleeting.

I'm sick of being sick.  But it turns out working to avoid it doesn't help anymore than any other thing I've read about or attempted.

Meds lol.  Which ones??
I managed to become more successful without them than I have managed to maintain with them.
At what point do life experiences and there impact get added into the equation of medacting someone.  That is not a question.  Because psychiatry and psychology are two separate parts of a faulty medical system.  Until they become one psychiatry is winging it.  Treating train wreck trauma and cat scratches with fentanyl all the same.  




",3.884970238095242,6.805977080357145,4.538392857142862,79.14827380952383,77.30357142857143,6.947619047619049,27.63690476190476,8.07648339933343,2.2641047619047625,982,41,161,18,24,313,145,224,0.115,0.823,0.062,-0.8791,0,1,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,3,5,12,8,0,2,6,1,17,9,1,1,1,28,34,10,0,0,5,0,3,0,1,0,8,0,1,0,16,12,0,2,5,1,0,6,7,3,1,4,8,7,20,5,33,25,6,26,0,1,3,0,10,9,0,4,10,120,36,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18601723442359694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13563956593267362,0.09563310046147708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10516805763263663,0.0,0.083374015824578,0.30210450174147474,0.0,0.0,0.1435321818527415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15268108962826987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781565898688122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13881915932669642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337877747194832,0.1289350373257429,0.0,0.0691552647403979,0.0,0.13132111033746066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056685344287366,0.0,0.07145693138451248,0.0,0.07772981628957885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209456847506868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916743704874204,0.0,0.1371919441328298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215678878311233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932100711778192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148527576032562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15192117181102352,0.1377818707300221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780376529361265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14810910285183554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25858462554318745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749210977200724,0.15321424023390395,0.0,0.13680749314070573,0.0,0.08761867240490136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21797673141538101,0.1245107092589786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588518480422395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680685048071082,0.0,0.1092250828849759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10993093193934987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086423031575963,0.0,0.0,0.10858048458726456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18571635764176606,0.14876700881112606,0.1336048865124909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1097090300750813,0.0,0.12297308798885563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184186312029444,0.0,0.1991410783476391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,abheg,2018/03/29,"Newly diagnosed Bipolar looking for support and somewhere to vent All of my social media platforms are shared with family and friends, have nowhere to openly rant about society. So here I am! Almost two months ago I finally got my diagnosis after years of instability. Learning to live a different- routined life has been a challenge. I wake up to a handful of medications and see a therapist now weekly. 

Most of it isn't a big deal. I've known about my mental health for as long as I can I can remember. Now, it's coming out of the ""bipolar closet"". 

My meds give me a rash on my chest that is extremely noticeable, but they keep me stable. I am emotional and cry, but I was so depressed that I hadn't cried in a year.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. But, what helps you? What calms your manic episodes? What gets you out of been when your depression wins the battle? ",3.004069767441859,5.2397763255813965,4.518779069767444,81.8121220930233,76.44186046511628,7.788372093023256,26.44767441860465,8.660442795831766,2.1363534883720923,696,27,132,15,16,232,117,172,0.111,0.735,0.153,0.3948,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,4,1,2,9,9,1,0,9,0,14,10,4,0,1,21,25,12,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,0,6,0,1,0,8,10,0,1,4,0,0,2,3,3,0,1,5,3,21,6,24,20,2,22,0,2,2,0,11,9,0,2,11,93,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14102215837558155,0.0,0.15930392876888794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704046365902145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3495020032876683,0.0,0.16401302763998174,0.274044999056133,0.1614712519751246,0.0,0.1662133888416354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789528984872792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14997426869191072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17427343085044986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12291120787174632,0.0,0.08311705840116608,0.15261197120315345,0.09041353378705423,0.0,0.12723742779400035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16910339873102034,0.0,0.0,0.1066335183733421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414049699138899,0.0,0.0,0.0874307563058493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11236875456746018,0.0,0.0,0.1404778628771343,0.1407881185818976,0.13359408494434533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767112114266811,0.160264701746922,0.1603235648587919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269827445977503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18112305734811504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10191602368317276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180216004990682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12677275922790535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16217046354268905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18053149101329627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1847137508696438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15540612981523474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276110194379575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20489526844293465
bipolarreddit,OviHydration1,2018/03/29,"I feel like this is killing me, but still no one listens..? I am convinced that I have been suffering from bipolar since the age of 19, I am now 21. I don't think I'll make it to 30, I just can't see it happening. I've been cycling between manic episodes which start off fun and then end up making me irritable, paranoid and delusional; and then crippling depression, where I lie in bed all day feeling like I'm burning in the fiery pits of hell; and each year it seems to get more intense. I can't hold down a job or maintain a relationship for more than a couple weeks. I can't afford to feed myself a lot of the time. After waiting for months I got to see a psychiatrist who discharged me after I told her I had been smoking weed, saying I had a substance abuse problem, but not addressing the underlying issue which I believe to be bipolar. Luckily I live in New Zealand where we have sweet welfare benefits which are just enough to put a roof over my head. I basically feel like when I kill myself, it won't be because I had mental health problems, it will be because no one would help me. People willl say at my funeral, oh if you were struggling with depression why didn't you tell someone, even tho in actual fact it's basically all I ever fucking talk about, and no one listens. Does anyone have any advice? I'm so confused and just feel stuck.  ",6.18322222222222,5.791758285185188,6.77,78.58500000000002,66.14814814814815,9.57037037037037,34.66666666666667,9.029198982220553,2.887488888888889,1067,45,211,16,15,351,171,270,0.239,0.648,0.113,-0.9925,2,0,0,0,1,1,28.0,1,2,0,0,13,18,4,2,11,0,25,6,1,2,4,36,47,15,3,4,8,0,4,3,0,3,3,4,2,0,12,9,1,2,6,0,0,1,10,11,0,3,11,11,31,7,28,30,7,30,1,3,2,1,14,12,2,5,20,145,43,1,0.0,0.14184426119489954,0.11682585751151632,0.0,0.0,0.116985400835593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08141120178711997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370843339674547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459559131094409,0.0,0.0,0.1348792951037975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246382931380096,0.0,0.077207121510294,0.0,0.20622297930176892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047645570214386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10603312445253317,0.1236989591382978,0.0,0.07907149925855399,0.10829026391813833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24212867070592464,0.2565760854433368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106758073153178,0.06254683527640892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574807615079972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586474502784586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1228634808788042,0.12725284831496927,0.0,0.0,0.08024332473907407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495273317603413,0.11879997352136218,0.0,0.2648967378126759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17546203825583195,0.0,0.10571170248771476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177853284217273,0.0,0.0,0.15982314434315148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206458914095646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955564232190196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562276634956965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433686269741557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829962215164897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22910469741146205,0.0,0.1203479659018714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12853052342377674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904064429703572,0.0,0.0,0.19079681214638386,0.10898524007788683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903057572839806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143524812061804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847358263687953,0.0,0.09560560655056892,0.0,0.0,0.1251534892336335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09622344198904263,0.10463733902745127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670938292369127,0.0,0.0,0.06980754801586835,0.0,0.0,0.11439407260015093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602920947607273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10802535671051228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504303779125441,0.0,0.0,0.07709338402209401
bipolarreddit,panflet,2018/03/29,"Doubting my BPII Diagnosis, Apprehensive About Meds, Feeling Like a Fake **TL;DR: I’m afraid that I was never hypomanic in the first place and it was all in my head (“Labelling Theory”), my current medication while effective is dulling my moods/cognition/memory and could be dangerous to keep taking in the long-term if I’m not really bipolar, and I don’t know what to do.**


I’ll preface this by saying that I’m not seeking medical advice or re-diagnosis, just venting and looking for general advice or shared experiences from people who know they have bipolar. I don’t feel comfortable opening up to my therapist about this because she doesn’t believe me, and I have a strained/weird relationship with my psych. Apologies in advance for the wall of text.

 
So history. I was initially diagnosed with MDD in late high school (but had recurring episodes since age 13), put on Zoloft, and once I titrated up on a higher dose I started to feel restless and hyper to the point where I wondered if those were side effects. So I googled and found out what hypomania was. Even though a lot of the symptoms were similar, what I was experiencing wasn’t as harmful or destructive. I also did not experience the two suspected episodes for very long, maybe 4-5 days TOPS. 


In fact, I was very productive and somehow ended up doing paid work for this relatively well-known animator/illustrator on the internet that I would’ve otherwise never dared to message out of the blue. So I wasn’t too concerned. It was psychomotor agitation and racing thoughts that made me uncomfortable, but those aren’t exclusive to hypomania. Other stuff happened but I don’t want to write a laundry list of symptoms/actions.
 

But then I saw things like, “Even if you have the slightest concern, it can turn into full-blown mania!! Especially if you have a bipolar relative!!” and my anxiety kicked in. I stopped seeing my psych (for unrelated reasons) and cut off my meds. Then something traumatic happened which triggered a year+ long depression. So I got a new psych that diagnosed me as BP2.
 

However, in retrospect, I’m wondering if I exaggerated my “hypomanic” symptoms and made myself believe I experienced it after researching it. What if that “euphoria” was really just the happiness from getting out of a depression and accomplishing new things in life? I got second opinions from other professionals who disagree with my psych and suggested ADHD, dysthymia, or even a vague “personality disorder” (big NO for the latter). So I’m confused.
 

It’s been a year since I’ve been on medication (Lamictal and Klonopin) and I’ve been tracking my moods on Daylio. Aside from good days, bad days, and occasional day-long “blips” of intense moods, it’s so… purple. Neutral. But I’m functioning well! I’m so glad that I have not been suicidal for so long, but it feels as though my emotions have been dulled or flattened. Happiness is just mild contentment. Seeing other people cry at a funeral without being able to feel their pain feels so uncomfortable. If I were truly bipolar I would have definitely had at least one hypomanic episode by now but it hasn’t happened. With these meds, I also get “brain fog” every once in a while and I feel that my memory is much poorer.
 

I was actually thinking of switching to another psych (I live far from my current one and my mother hates her) so that I can explain my situation and try something different. But if my current medications are working to an extent is it worth it? If I’m not actually bipolar, staying on this medication for the long-term might do more harm to my body than good. No matter how you look at it, all of this is risky.


Does anyone have any personal experience that is similar to this? Thoughts or advice?",6.094970781264049,7.756875889867848,6.863096886331627,70.61139081183136,66.90014684287812,10.434367227067039,35.63070514549432,10.564185070125287,4.224964913542509,2975,148,500,83,49,983,325,681,0.13699999999999998,0.767,0.096,-0.982,6,0,2,0,0,0,96.0,0,3,2,8,27,30,4,5,26,0,53,21,3,7,5,105,98,65,2,12,32,1,7,2,0,2,18,1,0,2,44,30,0,2,20,0,2,2,18,18,1,5,31,17,59,10,75,62,7,68,0,4,7,0,20,37,0,23,30,350,103,11,0.06264541137468492,0.0,0.12226576958492147,0.0,0.07528761062394815,0.18364911289379135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019502568634356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042601027937476714,0.065689175980397,0.047923568233602734,0.0,0.0,0.0438031282115448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05230630179728067,0.03818806132032152,0.0,0.0,0.14115985252076488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958492964020344,0.0,0.0699329971755908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05001726347916845,0.0,0.06881304279319353,0.1616044312443775,0.0,0.10791280204359124,0.12716754773951056,0.0,0.06545112149040855,0.07179706877930407,0.0,0.054821421653964315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07046765595466704,0.05548524033476388,0.0,0.0,0.12413011017010045,0.0,0.05278146095760971,0.0,0.0,0.18383769910927808,0.0,0.0,0.2217278159253073,0.04475389440321996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053286154912883764,0.0,0.0686874601110636,0.0,0.0,0.06545928369853911,0.0,0.0,0.10508799773934877,0.10020651648714997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16619139116695705,0.13337441059008648,0.0,0.06184937421292532,0.06429226527204587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618831658910747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0556821200126041,0.0,0.0,0.06885655954496743,0.0,0.07066675267270013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044248306698855065,0.0612107673114332,0.0,0.05531704596098772,0.3326353063827885,0.1052127358094274,0.0,0.0,0.053258888529646616,0.0,0.1185532058908118,0.0,0.0,0.0629357358414553,0.0,0.20875478892061036,0.3155433066422844,0.0,0.0664568816962708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04605158543380957,0.0,0.09663200643853216,0.12100665734787475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343063717797596,0.08490030404695185,0.0,0.06665913453257305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686088090861148,0.10939911373243072,0.06545112149040855,0.0,0.059220162535487425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297594121028255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026450930811865,0.06440991647170705,0.0,0.06725772742567593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04981814552784964,0.0,0.06340050079007517,0.09984056427374274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036418632979164,0.07041606712499106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645499650824088,0.0,0.0,0.044340744605164815,0.06677167328820521,0.0,0.052374368985071335,0.0,0.0,0.07171400824065674,0.06852391228220096,0.0,0.0,0.130225137835816,0.0471015530361232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07273615100066906,0.0832376553966863,0.040140650098053,0.123097597215003,0.09946691814229093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04253212217060927,0.06814021849293415,0.0611954641787752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10337805028467764,0.036949886715430764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11265149647459677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06038794105847816,0.13587255272301746,0.09121321116803824,0.0,0.0,0.08900300571183305,0.0,0.0,0.08068318202961222
bipolarreddit,Grimm-Bones,2018/03/29,I have a (probably) stupid question about psychosis I didn't know if I should post here or on NoStupidQuestions. I may have asked my psychiatrist in the past but I don't remember. I'm diagnosed Bipolar 1 and two years ago I had a pretty severe psychotic episode. I've been on a various cocktail of antipsychotics and other drugs since.  I'm not planning on stopping my meds anytime soon if I can help it but I was wondering if the drugs are the only thing keeping me normal. If I for whatever reason couldn't take or get my meds would I revert back to a psychotic state again as soon as the drugs were out of my system or just be more at risk of going psychotic again if something triggered it? ,3.8779296615792975,5.6434093211678835,4.8570537491705394,82.42283344392837,72.57664233576642,8.485467816854678,29.242866622428664,9.095868883498916,2.5496627737226283,555,23,106,12,11,181,91,137,0.068,0.858,0.07400000000000001,0.214,0,0,4,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,8,2,1,1,8,0,15,5,0,2,0,28,24,14,0,9,12,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,4,3,1,2,5,1,0,1,4,2,0,1,5,0,15,0,14,14,2,19,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,11,9,79,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207932325873207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498409800738726,0.0,0.0,0.12324609790948275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16268171236796455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5576247811563869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374014087518737,0.0,0.09109131388900568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10743289070099324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246500452276167,0.0,0.0,0.08808617617985001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3560718346809947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15704122484173652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219008265682713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15300622958669954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1535047707583582,0.16306327001418802,0.17280989026821966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17955125993631352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16479543234660154,0.0,0.0,0.1815669843974105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810717645301257,0.0,0.1325859945718918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339204677083962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13400198686124026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051126941290052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10648349012096464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156571123352133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17381776981392072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385893360746235,0.0,0.0,0.1032156272979336
bipolarreddit,Risperdoll,2018/03/29,"I feel like I shouldn't be allowed to exist because of how disgusting I am Really stupid rant/vent incoming

I truly believe I am the most horrendous creature on this earth. I wouldn't even call myself human because I'm so monstrous I feel I don't resemble one. It should be considered a crime for me to expose my appearance to other people. No one deserves to look at such a disgusting thing. I don't deserve to be alive.

Those thoughts are always in the back of my head. Sometimes I'll look at myself and feel confused because I don't understand how I could feel like that. I look normal. Even pretty sometimes. And other times I'll look at myself and cry and scream and vomit because of how hideous I am. I don't understand why I have to hate myself so much. 

How can my feelings change so much? How can I be okay with who I am one moment and want to die because of how I look the next? I can't even trust my eyes to know how I look. I don't know if I'm pretty and I don't know if I'm hideous. And I can't ask anyone because I know every answer other than ""you're disgusting"" will make me think they're lying to make me feel better.

When I see someone look at me, I know they're thinking of me. Thinking how can a human look this grotesque. Despising me. Hating me because my existence forced them to look at me. I don't ever want to go outside because I know I'm being looked at and being watched and being hated.

I'm so tired. I've been in therapy since I was 6 because of things like this. 13 years of therapy hasn't helped one bit. In fact, I hate myself even more. Because wouldn't constant lessons change my mind a bit if I was actually wrong? So I must be right. I haven't been to a doctor since October but I have made an appointment for next month. I don't know if I can last that long. 

I've covered up all the mirrors and windows in my house and I've covered the cameras on my phone and computer. There are 3 people I can stand looking at me. I have to leave the house next Sunday and the Sunday after that. How can I do that when I'll be subjecting everyone around me to look at a monster?

I'm so tired of this",1.886876613319565,3.5718300022371388,3.6102013422818793,89.59348477026329,77.83668903803131,6.4638100154878675,24.43692996041989,7.321109707123232,1.0144117363620726,1669,58,358,21,39,558,179,447,0.131,0.8220000000000001,0.047,-0.9839,1,0,0,0,0,1,38.0,0,0,1,2,26,18,9,1,14,1,48,6,2,13,4,71,98,36,1,13,5,0,6,3,0,6,4,1,1,2,16,16,0,0,21,0,0,2,16,12,0,4,6,22,63,6,43,76,7,37,0,0,15,0,8,17,0,7,20,238,79,2,0.0,0.0,0.05742456530200751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04896403859094815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041146031386470286,0.0,0.0,0.052384830365013416,0.05501245128316887,0.0,0.0,0.045248435733291785,0.0,0.3587157433336625,0.0,0.0,0.06629854943554124,0.0,0.052043923030714624,0.1284877454258731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06008767354074055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12450113855833192,0.0,0.0,0.0635909095695579,0.0,0.046983217341011886,0.0,0.06463884508186843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06107217457063616,0.0,0.0,0.06023070108285536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554671737719663,0.05322898084720465,0.049579738659239786,0.05622924609427669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.178523838283019,0.08407824824238612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0334431639806963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23239036995790144,0.060392297828940365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03944279237218453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13579924800678342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263790273794204,0.04796680775714493,0.0,0.062308720638487726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624658520355494,0.0,0.0,0.05207627596281702,0.5929832009664726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055680885472288784,0.07855944552515487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05941702055312013,0.0,0.04696979061014757,0.0,0.0865161944829703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18774806658066026,0.0,0.05765594116373241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595005068207001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08159190172130726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973373630240815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03769783294085671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05025360058858193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04689211888487455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735495007601737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049859467361954235,0.0,0.11639909592570208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458955412219512,0.0,0.07818846099182437,0.1131171573521892,0.0,0.046716628502339534,0.034313192173360214,0.1352681283829875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252015274121145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06941701474731353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05309876839623424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433814383943251,0.0,0.03789447096241578
bipolarreddit,ACKAFOOL,2018/03/30,"Alcohol and depakote? How bad is it really? I can search all the internets, but I would rather ask y'all? Does anyone have experience? ",1.6653999999999982,4.395799440000005,3.839500000000001,78.66725000000002,94.6,8.9,22.25,8.841846274778883,2.8560000000000008,106,4,19,4,4,36,23,25,0.133,0.867,0.0,-0.4956,0,0,1,0,0,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,1,6,5,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,14,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4422351206147933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893443162190023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3868548086825624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3455125637234757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3621263460000839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4047838249295728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265096130238141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939574738219145,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,r0se3,2018/03/30,"Meds Has anyone tried taking Abilify mixed with Topamax? I’ve taken Abilify before for bipolar 2 but only 5mgs because I’m very sensitive to medicine and I feel like it’s the only one that actually worked for me. I’m currently on Topamax 50mg and I feel like it’s not enough for me. 

I wanna go back on Abilify, but I like Topamax because I’ve lost a couple of pounds on it. I think if I mix the two meds I’ll hopefully stay weight neutral on it. ",0.5803868471953564,2.880123382978727,3.3086847195357834,86.56136363636364,86.44680851063829,6.396905222437137,24.502901353965182,7.686295010490155,1.559757446808511,354,15,72,7,11,124,59,94,0.033,0.818,0.149,0.8847,1,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,1,5,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,12,11,5,0,3,4,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,3,1,0,3,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,2,3,8,4,11,9,1,8,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,2,5,38,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.1838384249146104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13172449041266632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485788636466235,0.0,0.2296777934659568,0.0,0.1603033640377082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20844650540490509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19465401150014852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19050813919708498,0.2691672569947955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706460829155473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871106840364727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761089491004121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056465391612005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4185107215626315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12765582896791425,0.2865534306125305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20079535405354296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14164349270592186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12071070936905355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127902329076492,0.0,0.18402661324976305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15543890984040648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294044745689185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13714789617292758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,catloving,2018/03/30,"I don't get this thing happening right now. Ok. There's a celebrity that I think is very hot, and I'd love to go out on a date with him. So in my head I wrote an email to approach him, fantasized on him coming to my house to pick me up, what I would say during the date. And this is now stuck in my head. After 3 or 4 days of thinking/feeling/having this fantasy, I've accepted that this is sooo impossible it's not funny. But why am I getting obsessive? i would check the mail every few hours in a day hoping he'd answer. I would cry a little bit knowing that he would reply that I'm not good enough, in his circles, too crazy.

Logic says I want the impossible. My brain keeps going over this. I'm looking at all his pics on the net. I want to know what he smells like. This is all irrational. And it's not going away. WTF?",0.7666978609625659,2.588977113636368,2.862419786096257,92.98017379679146,81.8409090909091,5.959358288770052,19.44385026737968,7.048011613610866,0.1834549465240647,636,16,147,8,17,215,110,176,0.097,0.785,0.118,0.5807,0,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,1,9,1,11,4,3,1,2,29,31,6,0,7,5,0,1,1,0,4,0,2,0,0,15,6,0,1,6,1,1,5,4,1,0,0,2,5,20,6,20,24,5,27,0,0,1,1,14,14,0,2,9,92,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579399918545624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16941320921124156,0.0,0.0,0.17322897042300528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13367133648112536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17045476436264884,0.20015279174985795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033943193168287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13074340452120822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621472663505866,0.0,0.26457217615743195,0.13015519416745702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13722260233717626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31851295866171075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15412587983954154,0.15281819134191454,0.17905354582297628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792854175168046,0.0,0.0,0.1705625584285462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07581169568306965,0.1555282266796648,0.0,0.0,0.13030968666974474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14005339666497654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325204006329657,0.0,0.2468061260553268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309277399185816,0.09943122373457866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12803736389409998,0.18305495521347004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14002320189142453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4409334553558964,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,michemarche,2018/03/30,"Don't forget that today is World Bipolar Day. So depending on how comfortable you are with sharing, today is a good day to share information, bring about awareness, and do some damage to the stigmas associated with this mood disorder.

So what are you doing today? I'm bombarding my Facebook feed with different articles and photographs and videos and hopes that a few people will take the time to take a look at it. Oh and I'm doing it on Instagram and Twitter to.

Feel free to share what you're doing and if you're not doing anything feel free to share why.",7.2070404984423675,7.1585377570093485,7.57621495327103,72.50799844236762,63.953271028037385,10.871651090342679,33.72118380062305,10.504223727775694,3.5309389408099685,448,17,80,10,6,147,66,107,0.049,0.728,0.223,0.9569,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,0,4,11,0,0,5,0,11,2,0,2,0,20,20,11,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,7,10,1,0,3,1,2,1,2,1,0,0,0,3,3,11,13,19,2,11,0,1,1,0,7,4,0,4,6,53,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18334017366615696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28736691928242497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327719234113861,0.2553408011122815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22530230634693865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18686872588443185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22128434424504448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18709053660236646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15445705022233858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.335026164448183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12991275690355455,0.0,0.6335469300024031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20103659711070826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jbhe82,2018/03/30,"Recently diagnosed I never really thought that I had anything other than depression that came and went but after something happened a few months ago I figured I would talk to a professional. After talking for a while she diagnosed me with bi polar disorder.
I always just thought that the periods between depression were just that, but she pointed out some things that I never really noticed occurring during the times that I didn’t feel depressed. like extremely high energy, not sleeping, really really obsessive behavior. I get super into one thing or another and that’s the only thing I can focus on for like a week and after that I’ve lost all interest in it. Like a while ago, I started researching how to brew better coffee. Next thing I know I’ve spent nearly a grand on coffee makers and different coffee beans and am making like 10 cups a day, it’s all I could think about. About a week later I have no interest in touching any of it and I start feeling depressed again. 
Sorry if that sounds weird, that was just an example. 

She asked me to do research on my own to see if I think that fits but I’m not sure. I figured I could talk to other people who are also diagnosed. 

",4.911527850078084,6.559706774336287,6.093820926600728,75.05120510150964,69.75221238938053,9.565434669443,29.665799062988032,9.916854025145753,3.196537532535138,945,37,161,24,17,316,133,226,0.141,0.701,0.158,0.7405,1,0,1,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,3,8,17,0,1,12,0,12,5,1,3,5,42,31,16,0,5,11,0,3,4,0,1,3,1,0,0,21,10,0,0,9,0,1,2,6,7,0,1,10,5,23,10,24,18,5,34,0,5,1,1,8,11,0,4,25,123,44,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18874202588322256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513660665877094,0.08858385506555494,0.0,0.0,0.07239694653357642,0.11163335702291456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760810906976799,0.0,0.09952641063741892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415586351669948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217627127153772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700004589171725,0.0,0.0,0.06865836304207973,0.0,0.3667778801630971,0.3241661973984055,0.0,0.1112288029776679,0.12201321896061885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10765948691667683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05562133698985627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414287121829737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248160547397504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05850803256648241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20804533894481875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162144619416024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106336340602824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497593833360724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16421815487246189,0.0,0.1132221932492171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12120624578373232,0.0,0.0,0.07214054531492156,0.08096818184246543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380646495466424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006398002199318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728058767714232,0.0,0.10511712654314292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483541763612645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10653761384130933,0.0,0.0,0.0819586705202521,0.0,0.11917407024415455,0.15070690412214607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10033797733731488,0.0,0.0,0.2567073043525398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829111117308448,0.13643147312017048,0.0,0.16903585437364888,0.062078107316976834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17079275066544353,0.0,0.0,0.09869016253047068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562664749902312,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ElYungHefer,2018/03/31,"Lurker realizing I need some help coping/understanding depressive episode relapse. I guess for some preface I was diagnosed last year but have had it all my life. I'm type 1 but was pretty functional as I typically used what I now realize is my mania in school and etc. and pretty much was excelling despite going through manic and depressive episodes (thinking it was normal/teenage angst etc.) until about my 4th year in college when things went down south fast. Fast forward two years, a couple of hospital visits, and finally getting a full wrap around team, I'm a lot more stable now that I'm on what I feel are the right set of meds for me atm (been on a set of lithium, lorazepram, and buproprion for the past 3 months and it's worked amazingly). It's allowed me to work, write, and just generally focus like I used to without the mood swings and recognize when I'm becoming manic or depressed at high caliber level that I'm used to. I know that the meds aren't a cure all and that relapse happens, but recently have had a string of events (good, bad, and otherwise) have caused my depression to come back in full swing. I recognize it for what it is and why I feel like this, which is a huge step compared to before, but it's just as heavy and still rather difficult to deal with unlike my mania where I  know just to tune it down. I don't really know what I'm looking for in this as i have a pretty solid support system, but I guess if anyone else has had relapse experiences post medication I think hearing about others dealt with hearing about it would be helpful. Because I'm really in a spot where Im really not sure how to approach it and could probably use some netflix/movie suggestions as I don't have much energy to do anything else. Thanks for reading and sorry if this is all over the place. ",7.602496065470568,6.692947419263454,7.669098205854581,75.00847576329873,63.475920679886684,11.017248977022348,35.475133774000625,10.25414643259724,3.4674621970412325,1441,56,273,28,18,467,190,353,0.081,0.794,0.125,0.9513,1,0,0,1,0,0,34.0,0,0,0,4,17,15,0,0,14,0,26,3,0,7,4,63,57,30,0,6,14,0,2,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,24,18,0,0,9,2,1,7,5,6,0,1,9,5,23,8,43,45,14,51,0,4,1,0,9,23,0,9,21,181,47,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06408114148012282,0.0939023439174583,0.07541699919687776,0.0815845322846002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047025713718671,0.07652073408058854,0.05586666204525,0.10121600797453874,0.07798415099924533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09414587423097434,0.0,0.07894507106515318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317201917584548,0.10140475747556572,0.0,0.0,0.09448318968670473,0.3157388897831861,0.09301894580474368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15311725090806638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20441943747355348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896475517236157,0.0,0.0,0.09267812676866842,0.06547205088159329,0.0,0.1003939129795196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047881347647312784,0.0,0.05208463733624229,0.0768684695129054,0.0,0.0,0.2019172039694181,0.0,0.08104241626089582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20658381598145625,0.0,0.1228570082316214,0.0968292232279402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899360334910773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15109903496136448,0.07470387035300273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06473240879353168,0.08954739079929505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769597113744234,0.0,0.0,0.07791430681525778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035964965617697,0.09232388690778803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315110828332097,0.0,0.1347409777363862,0.06795448286311492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979380023750379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08748665089977288,0.0,0.0,0.09575075451241756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877717092112016,0.27971134411013737,0.09881008494073763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167098296705263,0.0,0.17613267317232068,0.0,0.090489548653185,0.0,0.0,0.07826533885990787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09275082915125356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025903977990728,0.0,0.0,0.0731887594959836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399900151391901,0.08637544214358485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08437549152477512,0.0,0.0,0.060885651204962775,0.11744634609724028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952500330668926,0.09540690775535504,0.0,0.3166115052616551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495692907117729,0.08269642479148596,0.0,0.0,0.08834364924744684,0.0,0.13343902429723847,0.0,0.0,0.06510281838356187,0.0,0.0,0.1770514098126696
bipolarreddit,lstewart3,2018/03/31,Using Lamictal to treat BPII & panic disorder. Does anyone have any success stories? I am currently reducing my dose of gabapentin (should be off that in another day or 2) and slowly increasing my dose of Lamictal. My doctor said the Lamictal should start helping my daily anxiety once I get up to 150-200mg range. My anxiety & panic attacks have been so bad/frequent lately. I’m curious if anyone has any success stories they’d like to share?,4.927487091222034,7.20685142168675,6.2366953528399325,71.46746987951809,70.92771084337348,10.04406196213425,34.74870912220309,10.290406445055957,4.434743201376937,360,19,56,11,7,121,62,83,0.159,0.6409999999999999,0.2,0.6199,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,2,1,8,1,2,1,0,9,3,0,1,0,6,14,4,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,2,3,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,2,8,5,8,8,1,8,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,2,5,30,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4059038557555769,0.0,0.2547564812055653,0.19641243575882467,0.2865855638020217,0.0,0.0,0.2619451067083886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21309386809622988,0.0,0.0,0.1563972753228925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080041915733535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21467520255536854,0.19172125343122973,0.16391755259694504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786252576904596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12555094754783605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112955264312265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151093557554303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19948063027003932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4395393645550497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781761267898654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13258004109930305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16177699205895302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Timarok523,2018/03/31,Cannot stop thinking Does anyone else have trouble with overthinking and if so have you found anything that works for you? ,11.19318181818182,9.848181045454547,8.008181818181821,76.83227272727272,56.72727272727274,10.618181818181819,40.18181818181819,8.841846274778883,3.5143090909090917,101,4,17,1,1,28,20,22,0.114,0.805,0.08,-0.2052,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,5,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,11,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738086950522736,0.4012300289370528,0.32224504211212884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3426828753300367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32712303255501285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4293580067760678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3273866093930944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25091493394759523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850820402692791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,locked_noumena,2018/03/31,"I'll be without lithium until monday (and other concerns) I haven't had lithium for roughly 33 hours. I talked to my nurse at my psychiatrists and he said I should probably just feel irritable and ""offkilter"" (idk what this means?) until monday until I get my meds prescribed. Are there any other side effects I should be on the look out for?

However, doing research I found out about how toxic lithium can be to your kidneys and thyroid and whatnot. Lithium works unbelievably well for me - my moods are completely stable on lithium. How likely are these horrible side effects and I realize I should talk to my psych about this ( i see him tuesday) but does anyone have any advice on this? Should I stick with lithium or try something else? Does anyone have any personal experience with lithium fucking them over medically?",6.366716141001853,8.344513884353741,6.5592331478045764,71.83825602968463,66.6190476190476,8.610760667903525,35.13234384662956,9.095868883498916,3.51565850340136,659,32,101,12,11,211,91,147,0.038,0.938,0.025,-0.4247,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,1,1,3,7,4,1,0,1,0,16,4,1,4,0,26,24,13,0,4,4,0,2,1,0,4,2,1,0,1,7,10,0,0,6,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,3,5,19,2,21,14,0,16,0,0,2,1,8,9,1,1,8,77,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17783431734071015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3712695444975837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544972620932607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19080854137057854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3185138204653825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15202569833839918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780169324394847,0.0,0.0,0.0920174366973255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19953792402660514,0.0,0.16824284482908958,0.09508001574345032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792192537771054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890901932936414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282215160254028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19823577547610105,0.20214508414625634,0.18333144433084195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15890289151195167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19621136190606486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17311007259579506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450190391129239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401014809262672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925464202553473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12355634272466486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16362699762580726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17542771818270889,0.0,0.13248775519462774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kata_strofa,2018/03/31,"Single manic episode? Is it possible or have any of you only had one manic episode in your life? But like a really big one that made you do embarrassing things. I'm new to this. I had one a few years ago. Only recently discovered what it was. I knew I had depression, but this was an eye opener.",0.8322142857142829,3.1887779833333383,3.28952380952381,86.74500000000002,85.83333333333334,7.428571428571428,20.238095238095237,8.418075326091056,1.3903095238095236,229,7,48,6,7,79,44,60,0.079,0.8909999999999999,0.031,-0.4137,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,1,3,0,8,2,1,1,0,6,11,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,7,1,6,1,3,4,2,7,0,1,1,0,3,3,0,1,5,35,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326752231693493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17849734962473668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22607610764263655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18539941061328127,0.12823586967928044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483676341341241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535075873667247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5335955488077652,0.3992600946536037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959099923474582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16815324505145954,0.0,0.2591701637501668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743819526971454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690303596982758
bipolarreddit,BurningEcclectic,2018/03/31,"Trying to get diagnosed... Also looking for health insurance Hi,

I recently have started on the journey to get some help. And new to this sub. I've been reading but to scared to put myself out there.

I don't know if I'm bipolar. I've done a bunch of research and I believe I can trace manic highs and depressed lows as far back as very in early in life... I'm 28 now. The last 4 full ""swings"" as I call them took about 4 and a half to 5 years to run their course. They gotten more pronounced as I started adulthood. This last one landed me a 3 month mania build up with full blown mania for about a month (I wish I could explain this part better... All I can say is that I was not myself and I was pretty delusional about what I could and couldn't accomplish... Sleeping three or four hours every day or two and trying to do everything) and then one of the hardest depressions I've ever experienced for roughly four or five months (suicidal thoughts, complete isolation from everyone and everything including work, weight gain of about 70 pounds, increased self loathing).

I'm also a complete fuck up in life. So maybe that's a consideration. This last time, the catalyst for my swing was believing I could do a new job, and then eventually hiding from it because I couldn't carry some of the tasks out due to anxiety.

I guess I wanted to give out some info since I see a lot of you guys share yourselves openly... And maybe vent, too.

So two days ago was tough. And I've been thinking and thinking about trying to get help, but the farthest I've gotten is two therapy sessions with someone I really didn't hit it off with. 

So after having a shitty wave of self hatred that day, I decided to call around again. I found a practice with a therapist and psychiatrist. I went through the process of setting up an appointment to first see the therapist and then the psychiatrist.

I don't have health insurance. 

It's a steep bill, but I can pay it. 

As a side note, before I tried the new job, I landed myself a decent paying job that is also self employed so I can take days or even weeks off without too many reprocussions. I've done that going on 6 years. It's very difficult to explain but I developed a skill at this job and I could do it the rest of my life if I wanted. But because it is set up the way it is, it doesn't give me health insurance, retirement, or any benefits you might find at other jobs.

I figured if I was going to shell out a wad of cash to self pay for trying to get help (and ongoing therapy if it's recommended), I should look at just self paying for insurance.

I just don't know where to start so I don't get health insurance sales calls. I didn't even know those existed. I was called almost 20 times in 6-8 hours. Fuck maybe more. And I was trying to work.

I don't want to risk ANOTHER set of health insurance salespeople having my information. I just found my state's marketplace? Seems more legit than the 2nd AD on Google.

Does anyone have experience or a better starting place? I asked a family member but no one is in this particular situation. And I don't even understand how health insurance works really.

I'm in my kinda of even place in the episodes. Truth be told, if I hadn't had an exceptionally hard day two days ago and talk to someone about it briefly I probably wouldn't be asking for help. I never really ask for help. But I feel the shit building up against my demons again and I'm so afraid of another swing.

I just want of this train. I need a change.",3.9730320420851264,5.216239426111912,5.061377331420374,83.11684839789575,71.52510760401722,8.623051171688187,27.00956480153037,9.061647067312856,2.049664945002391,2748,93,558,55,51,905,302,697,0.08900000000000001,0.8340000000000001,0.077,-0.7528,6,1,0,0,0,0,82.0,0,2,3,9,34,16,3,3,36,0,51,16,2,1,4,102,105,57,1,19,25,0,4,0,0,3,11,1,0,6,26,31,1,0,19,1,7,8,17,11,0,13,23,10,63,5,90,70,14,93,1,3,4,2,33,38,3,20,42,364,89,17,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08932583812102271,0.0,0.05045291150400013,0.0,0.0,0.12087766954371602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034263264348533384,0.10566531891000112,0.038544090751115465,0.0,0.0,0.03523009264958491,0.0,0.0,0.044852987396472435,0.1413084341512535,0.0,0.0,0.038742657053842514,0.0,0.061427984409039085,0.0,0.042873594343740565,0.1135324093450837,0.0,0.08912219081341784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057932913194037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05330023939843584,0.0,0.10565461546465334,0.0,0.0,0.1609120533985406,0.0,0.0,0.1949634415775248,0.0,0.08679238605315029,0.05113932122891948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04409191404604045,0.10312190376313343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311424580686262,0.0455757666948805,0.042451209209002284,0.048144656550499335,0.0905648820216344,0.049285819198634284,0.04749812866930293,0.0,0.025475974032570445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04605062314710845,0.04285712576176813,0.0,0.11048825425850092,0.0,0.09315952497416703,0.1316194027477693,0.0966670230554599,0.05726947293986712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05550433122039713,0.049888687958514366,0.0,0.0,0.045134716367545,0.0,0.0,0.32133892279252074,0.0,0.0,0.1688587189100483,0.05323410954790524,0.0,0.0,0.09923738846106968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499947677965113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08307019628548504,0.12321055210768482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676442584598704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08462076983592001,0.0,0.0,0.04283519588491037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05108208902639942,0.15185434660896405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053450111783227686,0.0,0.0,0.12064955130554005,0.0,0.0,0.03735955184201535,0.03885971937099595,0.14598531852544566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242575244079437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054561625530680564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528239275470737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05125926463714619,0.05432313418223569,0.0,0.0,0.05065045201379744,0.0,0.0,0.05039824741900952,0.0,0.09683301906231936,0.0,0.049748726524475116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0400678662514809,0.050443786906640836,0.0,0.08030002589230023,0.045868259022160685,0.2628106972297783,0.0,0.051719080815558115,0.04167867222550175,0.05663441562557151,0.05042099979194278,0.0,0.08538143754968291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14264995258305066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055112588460695965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03788295825330134,0.040497243094597575,0.0,0.0,0.11523839120363864,0.1170008373078886,0.0,0.06456885066013435,0.0,0.039999754410211384,0.058759345610570377,0.0,0.0,0.048144656550499335,0.055979158519225115,0.20524706784650687,0.0,0.19687378146516832,0.05245215865379302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08314516424200832,0.1188725997914644,0.039992960292854714,0.04041549709661599,0.06135488448634911,0.0,0.04670704068731662,0.0,0.0,0.057939817964909525,0.04856896859359782,0.0,0.1100417942114874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06489207721510168
bipolarreddit,bipolarspinster,2018/03/31,"Ok. Hi, I’m new here! Edit***

Thanks so much for the love and support everyone! 💕 I’m feeling embarrassed now that it has so many upvotes now. Ha! You’re all so appreciated, I cannot tell you how much. 

I’m new-again. I used to be a member several years ago then switched to chatting on Facebook. With the security issues there, I’ve deleted that account so I’m back!

I’m having a weird time. 

I turn 50 tomorrow. Half of my life is gone, wasted...on being on disability, sick,  unproductive, contributing zero to this world. For 50 LONG years!

I’ve tried volunteering twice in the past year...neither ended up working out. 

I also have PMDD, so I feel I hardly get any well time for any length of time! I have no friends. I’ve either cut toxic folks out, or have been very inappropriate during times of instability, and never get forgiveness even after heartfelt apologies. 

I have two kids. One won’t talk to me anymore, though he has his own problems, my daughter does talk, through infrequently. 

So, I’m totally alone. 

My new AD is just starting to help a little. But 50 is hitting me so hard. 

I want to at least go back to school to learn a trade that doesn’t involve being surrounded by several people. But I cannot think of anything I’d like, and that I can learn somewhat easily. 27 shock treatments later, my memory is shot. So learning will be difficult, no matter. 

Sorry for the negative introduction. I wish I were in a better place. 

Thanks for reading.",1.4379384703852764,4.10763795390071,3.3668295955530034,84.49905405405406,87.90070921985816,6.169216024535174,23.57906843013226,7.534196372845213,1.4739096032202412,1141,45,216,22,37,382,179,282,0.111,0.718,0.171,0.9575,0,1,0,0,0,0,56.0,0,1,0,2,20,19,1,1,9,2,23,3,0,2,3,28,46,18,0,3,5,1,4,1,1,2,2,0,0,1,6,6,0,1,7,2,2,2,8,6,1,5,3,4,21,13,29,36,8,36,0,0,0,1,16,12,0,2,23,132,27,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032503965540508,0.0,0.0,0.12063570319397192,0.0,0.0931471235158097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15841757348772084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11551451654769945,0.0,0.0,0.09585116998162037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17912822486802474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030150036855408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019303642897334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316461320037502,0.0,0.0,0.07693238012461094,0.0,0.0,0.11129937284356092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11778918515826553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899903327241416,0.0,0.1217095148617804,0.0,0.06619692483009709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20868216683239216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807250424205422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157239026004445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0822715990381836,0.05690508949121089,0.11674119115623642,0.0,0.10307904262084168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512561418077288,0.0,0.0,0.11809004112873317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17124892926043073,0.0,0.08983473358735107,0.3374844803224805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892826069377515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119108338725807,0.08075092697729841,0.0,0.12169433873494792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145336710993137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650915661360545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11788158618860944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631731495290349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303871774618166,0.08244347034651643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13217744113640276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872406236232748,0.10180658792070163,0.21447391613425024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463416605916115,0.11443868608986345,0.0,0.2716761852188017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790806691265758,0.12669422069364653,0.11378172561803353,0.0,0.0,0.10059927977825182,0.0,0.0961062483165062,0.06870152760979857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472738326559727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339435331811009,0.0,0.0,0.08479710633080778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250233363586588
bipolarreddit,GoodTimesGirl,2018/03/31,"Nostalgy rules my life Hi, could you please advise me, what can I do? I'm very sensitive, cyclothymic person and I have terrible problem with accept changes and tranzisions in life. I'm so attached to so many animals, people and places... I worry about their health all the time. My imagination is so catastrophic. I have also thanatophobia. Because I'm sensitive and allergic to meds, I am looking to some others ways to cope with that. I really think my most meaningful life is in the past. I love to write and my text are almost always about passing and are so depressive. I don't seem depressed, maybe mildly, but my huge triggers are connected with this vulnerability to change. How can make my existence full and coherent, when I have so many reflexions about changes and things I will lose? It seems I've always been like that, but now when I'm older, I worry for future. Does anybody had like that and really change this thinking?",5.085970272502067,7.193570433526013,5.531019818331959,77.41735549132952,70.09826589595376,9.104706853839804,29.12014863748968,9.606745405546679,2.9213454995871184,747,29,130,18,14,239,105,173,0.126,0.768,0.106,-0.5678,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,1,1,1,13,9,0,0,2,0,17,6,0,3,1,31,28,20,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,5,0,0,1,9,12,0,0,7,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,2,1,20,4,15,24,4,14,0,3,1,1,7,5,0,5,9,88,29,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12780419133925458,0.0,0.0,0.10206660921694892,0.2123987335822568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778027832187161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5400674642109156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019031124680928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198570980992408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169090645655487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356659769445588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27044903261855074,0.12470829613045707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717804718294098,0.1427866445837572,0.0,0.0,0.11519212377459555,0.0,0.08519480429230702,0.2587959697596908,0.12822267596437129,0.0,0.1417694695385175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12183840389413875,0.08848339053969176,0.11144262415744324,0.133347419080169,0.1401007096532436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212580310965525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16352760527628685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323812671148597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479248532860653,0.16356181433987801,0.0,0.0,0.07442276793864834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530909082300316,0.0,0.10130769061932077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259231319044072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwaway89389898,2018/03/31,"In high school I was in a manic episode for 2 years In high school I was in a manic episode. In sophomore year during the hypomanic phase I started talking about sex a lot and got in trouble. Two months into my junior year the mania started. I thought I was going to win the lottery and become the president, the next MLK or really famous. I even intentionally failed classes because I thought I was going to become the president anyway. I thought everyone in America was going to change the constitution for me while I gave a speech in front of a big audience like MLK did in the civil rights march. I thought I had a special connection to god and god put me here for a special purpose.

When I spoke I switched from one topic to another easily. I was very hyper, had lots of energy, was easily distracted and always wanted to chat. One time when I entered school the security guard once said ""this one is always laughing and smiling"". I went with my mom to buy lottery tickets (they don't sell tickets to minors). I thought I was going to win the lottery and use the money to make myself famous. I used to go to an organization with lots of little offices and I had a plan to buy the building and employ people there to promote my agenda. One time a fortune teller solicited me on the street. I went in and I asked her what college I am going to go to. She answered Harvard. I literally thought I was going to Harvard. I didn't tell my parents most of my plans because I thought they would interfere with them. I was very angry and moody at home.

A few days before I turned 18, there was a ""breaking point"" I realized all the stuff I believed weren't true. I was devastated. I wasn't going to become the president or the next MLK. I failed many class. I couldn't sleep at night. I was extremely stressed out. I managed to catch up on my work, took summer school and thankfully graduated in the summer on time. A year later I decided to google bipolar and I read the symptoms  of a manic episode on WebMD.

As I read more about bipolar, I learned it's impossible for bipolar I to go undiagnosed. So I wondered how this went on for 2 years without me being diagnosed? During sophomore year, CPS was called because I was talking about sex. Then at the end of sophomore year I did the most stupidest thing. I drew 9/11 on a state test. This was a math question about storage bins so I made bin laden jokes. I was laughing but the school wasn't and they took me to a hospital. The hospital just let me go and told me not to do this again. The security pointed out a couple of times I was always laughing and smiling. I saw counselors at school (who are mental health professionals). I wondered if this will happen again, but I don't think it will. Well if there's anything worse than bipolar it's severe OCD. I am taking medication for that now. Severe OCD is **HELL**.

I most certainly embarrassed myself. In 9th grade I told my classmates I wanted to become a prostitute. I was annoying during my high school years. I didn't think there was anything wrong with me. I thought there was something wrong with everybody else. I guess I am lucky this happened in high school where you are still supported by your parents and not in adulthood where you quit your job and become homeless. Online I realized was safer than offline. When I posted online I used a pseudonym and never used my identity. So if I said I wanted to become a prostitute or something embarrassing online it would not affect my reputation. But if I say I want to become a prostitute to my friends, they'll remember it and it will affect your reputation. I actually had former classmates come up to me and say ""remember when you said you wanted to become a prostitute"". I mean I am most definitely not the person I was in HS.

We had a teacher with a reputation for being mean and a girl at my school said she's bipolar because one minute she's happy and the next minute she's angry. I literally thought that was the teacher's diagnosis, but I didn't know what bipolar was or that I had it. Now I know what bipolar is, and realize the girl was using the term colloquially. While I know what bipolar really is, my classmates still probably don't know.",3.5539764970189225,5.6460756932515395,4.88553356951525,80.48087617730927,74.27607361963192,7.634494081050723,28.9021861228722,8.467506076407052,2.3205866240387105,3330,142,612,62,71,1105,309,815,0.07,0.8340000000000001,0.096,0.9286,4,0,2,0,0,0,84.0,1,7,5,9,30,31,2,4,54,0,64,15,1,11,4,114,132,47,0,12,18,3,0,1,1,6,12,8,1,3,23,34,0,4,28,6,4,21,16,12,1,6,65,9,120,19,90,57,11,108,1,2,1,2,43,43,1,20,42,435,143,28,0.0,0.0,0.042792381588581306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946297002766994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04598173788682857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217149453240704,0.0,0.040994891211658925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692497811579632,0.38744106203731904,0.03731408560001049,0.04940521206028043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044776911090271335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046388685760018485,0.037773869455250506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04852044617025041,0.0,0.02828035398497956,0.0,0.0,0.044507978373894606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03663199595054361,0.0,0.038839089386996775,0.0,0.0,0.028963260712378813,0.0,0.0,0.04190163813430583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03387927767295513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741377126272414,0.0,0.03507175807045683,0.0,0.04830696838068133,0.0,0.07755482668831037,0.046680347995183856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04661170531353665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18532452442265349,0.04398626322297769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043515484567603936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963977466768753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04484075594640265,0.0,0.02142344926967803,0.043950356791965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184199904919696,0.0,0.041493003661221925,0.029270972732833824,0.04445816759090336,0.0,0.09553348156085004,0.0,0.04417540455157649,0.04419162959521788,0.0,0.0,0.05135791864235922,0.03500155712724102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03382069819890031,0.0,0.1399085367975283,0.04115131909282746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046700027007654465,0.14857331778541352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09738299067588163,0.0,0.0,0.03040085523184748,0.03828911915562117,0.0,0.0,0.08290699192618221,0.0,0.041997265198125966,0.0,0.047278939635550715,0.0,0.0,0.04408250185345127,0.049123306350349547,0.04664107919506364,0.08772600231302917,0.0,0.056184319159707605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09934957405285537,0.03744862919339458,0.1668498825563559,0.06974436428775001,0.0,0.39941720217096216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09907860032357003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04388280318161255,0.0,0.0,0.06751749129324505,0.0,0.0,0.06207611728148135,0.0,0.07003914518010565,0.0,0.05023132631689331,0.0,0.05019905761521189,0.0,0.049761747676698415,0.0,0.04557811895851418,0.0329705957403986,0.0704917615855022,0.03832782429724559,0.04037223298524961,0.0,0.0,0.02913274520224435,0.056196072606128536,0.0,0.3133161225690285,0.1022797964796031,0.0,0.0,0.08380327626861166,0.09744044765903252,0.0,0.04769744207521099,0.04283618650614473,0.0,0.0,0.1893665036084688,0.0,0.07236355671229569,0.1293226761136392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039427436150209084,0.12195132279018872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04227092874638636,0.09510936942166108,0.03192414811989952,0.0,0.04468805227791076,0.06230117547832695,0.09588866323666463,0.0,0.22590954278787315
bipolarreddit,allentomes,2018/03/31,"Hospitalized for the first time This week I was hospitalized for the first time, I had taken benzos and either they mixed with the lamictal poorly or it was a bad source but I was black out for over 12 hours starting and terrified my wife and family. I am embarrassed and ashamed and while black out I talked about many things I'd prefer to have kept hidden, including sexual frustrations and a long struggle with substances including LSD to my mother in law, calling my father and telling him that I was diagnosed even though I hadn't wanted to do so at this point yet. I spent the next 4 days in extreme depression, not eating, showering, talking or sleeping and am finally feeling normal today. I ate, talked with my wife and mother in law today, showered and got my hair cut. I am still extremely embarrassed of the things that happened during that day. I don't know what to do or say or how to fix things I did or said. I feel like I hurt my marriage and my relationship with my mother in law, I'm scared ",6.853328671328673,6.773247917948719,6.99645687645688,76.47566433566433,64.69230769230771,10.578088578088575,32.086247086247084,10.230975488527342,3.1061282051282046,804,28,151,17,11,259,114,195,0.2,0.7759999999999999,0.024,-0.9902,2,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,1,2,7,11,2,5,7,0,14,5,2,1,0,36,27,21,0,3,8,6,3,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,10,17,2,1,4,0,2,0,3,10,0,2,13,7,24,1,22,14,1,26,0,2,2,0,17,9,0,5,18,105,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252978503999765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14984774769064224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18928270152444707,0.0,0.1263952141819408,0.14894775345593195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15016147537641195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692672580243704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13834246111684165,0.0,0.1484020127004413,0.10483794251373328,0.0,0.16075701212889035,0.0,0.24965026708973334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173690597775715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297701853344949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14451879409919838,0.0,0.1570984803766686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064974152002925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169444123454685,0.0,0.0,0.12986877676090314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14878105965191102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15606986287744778,0.0,0.14378344867207532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13872580427554213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15755414932002068,0.0,0.0,0.13959247352454324,0.11670117085081486,0.14692194880570694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14685557933774265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387012115749952,0.0,0.11719441895241656,0.0,0.0,0.15341454314026232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3538553055738229,0.1282656173679827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2924817375500137,0.0,0.14418073546999147,0.0,0.1711417420668815,0.0,0.2782029208577008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655671536559235,0.0,0.11771367614362226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Zajren,2018/03/31,"Rant, I Guess. Hello, sorry this is my first time actually posting on Reddit so I'm feeling a little nervous, but it's all good.

I'm a freshman in college, and last October I finally saw a psychiatrist after years of struggling and got diagnosed with Bipolar 2, GAD, panic disorder and social anxiety. We decided to try lithium and two other anxiety meds. I actually overdosed on the anxiety meds although I was taking the amount I was told and was having a lot of pain for like a few weeks, so I wasn't really able to focus in my classes; I got pretty behind and almost left on med leave. I'm now on Gabapentin and got started on Lamotrigine.

I guess the lithium was working for a while, but lately I have felt like an absolute mess. I will be in what feels like hypomania in the morning and be running around, talking a mile a minute, everything, and then just get hit with depression and withdraw from everyone. Or vice versa. And this sometimes happens multiple times a day. I'm starting to feel crazy and it is taking everything that I have to just barely function, nevermind actually having time to do homework or other responsibilities. I don't know what to do with myself. 

I just feel so terrible. It just feels like I can't achieve any sort of sane moment because if I'm not being affected by my BD, my anxiety is at a 10. I just want to be calm and stable. 

I am just afraid of this starting to affect my family and my boyfriend. He is the most understanding person I have ever met, but I feel like eventually, he is going to get exhausted with me. I'm not a very happy person and I don't understand why anyone would want to spend time with me.

I don't know anyone around here with BD and it is making me feel really alone, which is why I guess I decided to make this post. I just feel so crazy, I don't know. I'm sorry. 
",5.171552281710382,5.681944490358127,6.786154030422808,74.51978440531803,68.28374655647383,9.949407114624506,31.76057012815906,9.971965246562196,3.154045011378608,1442,58,271,33,23,499,180,363,0.16399999999999998,0.741,0.096,-0.977,0,1,0,0,0,0,39.0,1,0,0,3,16,17,0,4,17,0,31,4,0,4,2,72,75,29,0,4,15,0,9,5,0,2,4,0,1,2,14,25,0,0,16,0,1,2,8,9,0,2,12,10,35,8,39,56,5,39,0,1,1,0,10,15,0,10,25,183,49,5,0.08023364492867854,0.0,0.23488939082389945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08034240567007384,0.08309785894484617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05456162988042015,0.0,0.2455140750451825,0.0,0.0,0.11220246011859296,0.0,0.0,0.14284990901412653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048909685246754285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051744063415162,0.0,0.06910512080955923,0.08143546069765102,0.0,0.0,0.09195470820527543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07257592530085041,0.0,0.07666668606666871,0.14421765313321191,0.0,0.07563713982722171,0.0,0.3245483330178497,0.17195679590546473,0.07703688144725397,0.08789203622978636,0.0,0.06824669738895746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383753590732387,0.0,0.045598629398040984,0.0672961747066753,0.19251052599724905,0.0,0.2651592165301541,0.0,0.07095034723474893,0.08541020696514345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13228293888514148,0.06540112925881092,0.09050704621113496,0.08495584515569254,0.08717408997548592,0.0,0.0,0.1959905307710255,0.08041519035335641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06821177573606807,0.0,0.0,0.10711316202871256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673644764057825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08537425509669072,0.09413689501927296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011384799153798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15368330642745145,0.08162646140849084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027994548824143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178809694362818,0.0,0.0,0.07935312640345167,0.1796299933447907,0.17036936052246834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0838776262714378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206514315721065,0.06448876459721838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871395343191731,0.0,0.0,0.07666668606666871,0.0,0.05447337823179877,0.0,0.07837661269073615,0.16705210792443556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662011598132124,0.09464776512198866,0.0,0.06435859034292937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447967700059631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058411049086177114,0.0,0.0,0.056995679341600276,0.0,0.0,0.0516678367706896
bipolarreddit,sarijanee,2018/03/31,"Need Advice About My Mom Hello Reddit,
I'm wondering if anyone in this group may be able to shed any advice from experience about a rough journey my family and I have been going through.

My mom and I are best friends. We use to talk everyday, until she started a few new medications after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Once the medications hit her, she no longer talks to me. No longer answers her phone. She is a lifeless walking panic attack, which was never the case until medication. 

Last May, my mom went through a traumatic experience with her brother almost being killed in Jail. He truly made a miracle of a recovery, but my mom endured a lot of stress from the situation. She went to her psychiatrist who prescribed her Seroquel to help her sleep. It did not help her sleep at all. She went manic in fact. To make a long story short, by the beginning of June she had been involuntarily admitted to the local psych ward on 72 hour hold. During those 72 hours, they took her off seroquel and the anti-depressant Paxil (Paxil she had been prescribed for almost 20 years due to OCD, which had toned down immensely in the past 10 years that she had even had her dosage lowered about 6 years prior to this) and immediately put her on 3mg of Resperidone and 1800mg of Gabapentin. Everything was pretty normal for about 2 months after the new prescriptions, then BAM. She was a completely different person. Zombie-like, unable to take care of herself, a living walking panic attack. It was just awful. Her doctor then only put her on MORE anti-psychotic medications and anti-depressants as well as a benzo. Again, making a long story short.. In September I had spoken to her psychiatrist on the phone during one of her appointments who agreed with me we should taper her off of anti-psychotics. Now fast forward and she has officially been of anti-psychotics for 2 months. She is still prescribed Gabapentin, mirtazapine, and diazepam. She is still in awful shape, but has shown signs on being more cognitive in general.

I didn't speak with her for over 2 months after Christmas. She didn't want to talk to me, or anyone else at that. I saw her right before Christmas (I live in a different state) and told her I would like to be apart of one of her appointments again over the phone, and she wouldn't let me. She moved in with her boyfriend after this all started, who I feel helps her as much as he hurts her.

A few weeks ago. our family dog died. She was 14, but the way it happened was super tragic. I talked with my mom the day it happened and she cried! Which was a great sign to me because 3 months before this she told he she couldn't cry if she wanted to She just had no emotion. So I took this as a great sign! I have noticed she no longer has one worded answers, but she can actually respond to the things I'm saying with short responses. So I see very slow improvements. I feel the experience with my dog passing away has opened her up to me a little bit more. I talked with her again about a week after, and just tried to have a normal happy conversation about me coming home for a visit in a couple of weeks and she seemed to act half-way normal again. I want to keep this door open, and open her trust back up to me again so that maybe she will let me try and help her at the doctors office again one day.. How can I keep this door open? How should I approach my mom about trying to help her again at the doctors when I go home in a couple of weeks? I miss my best friend more than anything, and this has been the toughest thing I have ever had to go through. If anyone has any experience dealing with horrible reactions to medications, and overcoming this yourself or with a loved one. Any advice would be appreciated.

P.S. I probably skipped over a lot of details, so please don't hesitate to ask questions!",5.05007525083612,6.331220010869565,5.577826086956524,80.28188963210705,69.0,8.487625418060201,27.4690635451505,8.841846274778883,2.0487105769230767,3032,98,571,52,52,976,312,736,0.087,0.78,0.133,0.9931,3,1,0,0,0,0,85.0,3,0,1,3,31,22,3,3,41,2,57,13,2,6,5,94,98,42,2,16,13,7,3,1,2,8,10,2,4,1,25,35,0,3,8,0,0,20,11,9,1,5,32,7,96,13,111,48,14,117,0,3,2,1,100,42,0,14,56,406,121,4,0.052072719508687526,0.0,0.05081546266038433,0.0,0.0,0.1526545765106453,0.04615932395634344,0.0,0.10428661339840356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106233704746638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10923136869452743,0.05335465480594277,0.042851411272401295,0.0,0.04868096344019433,0.11848047180600055,0.0489240341075179,0.040040707045030204,0.0,0.031743046490987525,0.0,0.088620097929753,0.0,0.10929421298575216,0.0,0.0568499229873767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053091608003937626,0.0,0.0,0.044856037023041306,0.05459725567991111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523494739481685,0.11439887446751724,0.06716519242900232,0.05368468730801616,0.08970031401985842,0.052852714179183316,0.054043261627861945,0.1088098175463922,0.0596798479258043,0.15989590478158705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043500075324083225,0.0585748006508406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034393540125973995,0.04710275601506175,0.0,0.0,0.04679960262607143,0.20374844660388247,0.09817905119886876,0.0,0.052659063187499085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0804625078408925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878237953923733,0.0,0.0,0.11482071418235375,0.0,0.0,0.09209546777747056,0.05543237820528262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17451623120427578,0.0,0.10446636683448783,0.0,0.10256227893098148,0.0,0.0557449232276516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256925139251647,0.05761074892110559,0.0,0.0,0.042446216452870916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10649576746463917,0.0,0.025440100457284544,0.05219054494196728,0.09196233068523536,0.09216543626453493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854072797642927,0.046997662411297436,0.049272466264804485,0.0695178892466853,0.0,0.052314045795687575,0.0,0.0,0.2622889328853113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3659216384136356,0.16625579163644688,0.05534505994484523,0.0382794404027838,0.03861126170465872,0.040161691466430095,0.10058431397428803,0.0,0.0,0.1530606270999079,0.0,0.05928513629630181,0.0,0.05545574680703532,0.17642911195829974,0.0396036496729657,0.0,0.12219223329850785,0.0,0.0,0.04970930292207077,0.0,0.04546789013656248,0.0,0.057160208876350836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052976676220922315,0.05614319891730386,0.0,0.0,0.1046949313757342,0.05833336325143676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044469817939913586,0.0,0.04141031659922973,0.0,0.0,0.04149521557070183,0.047405048126138924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05853191848918584,0.1042206516079142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07371467777013092,0.0,0.08317068212942362,0.0,0.0596491242618473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039152204540630633,0.20927039730762725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918960203019718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995154300358418,0.1157094147559656,0.10606187520995457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04497411051228524,0.0,0.042965447091024775,0.09214151737159453,0.08266580192082612,0.16707837844739348,0.0,0.046819628520518144,0.14481579803641775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056470643033674474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398193179932178,0.0,0.0,0.10059937227726856
bipolarreddit,marlymarly,2018/03/31,"Assistance programs through drug companies? Hi all, 

I was wondering if anyone has applied for free medication through a patient assistant program by a drug company? 

I was doing really well on Vraylar until I found out that I couldn't use their coupon with my insurance anymore (I get it through my dad, he's a federal employee). Since then, nothing has worked. My copay for Vraylar is $300 and I only make $1000 a month. 

Any advice would be appreciated. ",4.923928571428572,7.1429454404761925,6.368571428571428,70.77642857142858,70.78571428571428,10.038095238095238,37.0,10.290406445055957,4.6110428571428566,363,21,59,11,7,123,66,84,0.0,0.879,0.121,0.8538,1,0,2,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,4,0,9,3,0,2,1,11,14,4,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,10,3,10,8,1,5,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,3,40,12,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290517376368193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15939918228470148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324605670234321,0.16389705029370566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5436562475753793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570061218002875,0.0,0.0,0.1224636681279509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15646298027318062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23613207234346426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187094839393126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22491191450545606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17827080553435087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501618361060929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19389706140890373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.202445253794096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107526190160547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25419543667784544,0.17064507569025894,0.0,0.0,0.1665101409309692,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,aliendividedbyzero,2018/04/01,"Help: Explaining to my family Hello! I was recently diagnosed (eh, sort of. The doctor agrees I'm bipolar but she doesn't like labels, and she's trying me on antidepressants first since my hypomania isn't terrible quite yet) and so... since I'm only 20 and on my parents' insurance, I had to tell them about what's going on. My mom just asked me how I'm feeling on my new medication and I explained to her that it's too soon to tell. However, that question sort of evolved into a conversation about what depressive episodes even feel like and I... got stuck trying to explain.

How would you explain depression and hypomania to someone who hasn't experienced either? I need to be able to explain this to my mom, and also to my younger brother, who is 16. If there's any resources I could link them, I'd very much appreciate that too.",4.527898550724637,6.024628285714287,5.8400155279503085,77.08913302277432,70.49068322981367,9.341821946169773,31.42908902691511,9.725611199111238,3.108949896480332,658,29,124,16,12,221,100,161,0.102,0.823,0.076,-0.741,2,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,1,2,2,13,5,0,0,2,0,9,4,0,2,0,28,24,13,0,4,4,4,2,2,0,1,4,0,0,0,9,8,0,0,9,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,4,3,21,2,19,17,2,11,0,2,0,0,24,5,0,4,7,83,30,1,0.16255580459909522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12999581820810185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054352140344437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1519677338795356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12978758268617185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28001815261169377,0.1649907198952763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1663827540863941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073665758373964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532431454799021,0.0,0.1643861981214636,0.11612989928577915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826988435031912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09238420985365284,0.0,0.13001072669325328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895772929347358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15883311023253802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637578713955841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3807667873810199,0.0,0.0,0.11949722029093372,0.12053306937310805,0.0,0.15699740903113935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363101444270808,0.0,0.0,0.1804989838248044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18209970379454832,0.17289810758063362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605042461632181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689356827394124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13773300572328898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841618763134517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207294417590591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13412556301531686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11547497963331603,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Heliosvector,2018/04/01,"My boyfriend is suicidal over Tinitus Hey peeps. I was wondering if any of you have had these same side affects. My bf has Bipolar type one and for a long time he was on ... mirtazopine? He was taking it for years. Back then, they said that he was scitzo affect. Last summer, he had a manic break, I had to hospitalize him and he was finally diagnosed with Bipolar type one. They then took him off that and put him on abilify and Klonopin. The abilify was giving him akathasia so they gave him the klonopin. After a while, as all mental health people seem to do, is he went off his medication. This apparently by the doc was ok. Since hes type one, if he leads a healthy lifestyle, he wont get manic again and wouldnt need an anti psychotic. Great. Thats what he wanted anyways. So after a while after being off medications, he get a ringing in his ears. Apparently this is a somewhat common side affect. He figured if he could just tough it out, his brain would fix itself.


He stayed off EVERYTHING for 4 months apart from his blood pressure meds, but he finally broke and became upset, suicidal and started drinking. He then took a Klonopin and it made the T's go away. Looking into it, its a Glutamate inhibitor to level out with his Gaba.

This would then make me think ""maybe hes addicted to Klonopin"", but he goes off it for months and then breaks down to take more again. 2mg makes it go away completely, and .5 makes in bearable. I feel so lost. He now wants to seek medically asisted euthenasia and refuses to go see the psychiatrist because he thinks they caused his T's.


Has anyone else here gone through this?",3.7874038461538464,5.724135240384619,4.5207692307692335,84.02423076923078,73.19871794871796,7.876923076923077,27.384615384615394,8.617729084823388,2.026496153846153,1273,48,247,24,26,408,176,312,0.079,0.892,0.029,-0.9556,2,0,1,0,0,0,44.0,0,1,4,2,10,7,0,2,15,1,25,12,3,9,1,48,55,27,2,10,6,0,1,0,1,4,8,3,0,0,17,16,1,1,6,1,0,9,2,5,0,3,18,6,24,2,37,31,4,57,0,2,2,0,42,20,0,6,25,156,41,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12081574239059785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0753648839442785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774915027614932,0.11355343514359098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2082477022556646,0.0852176787026075,0.0,0.06755796629337135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237174892528223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384792942890562,0.0,0.0,0.1161980328504778,0.0,0.0,0.08848484273314469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248516691818558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085664289013782,0.0,0.0,0.09258016943452184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960247443965316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05603651207315012,0.0,0.0,0.2428070101498648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1158031051799124,0.10631355640411236,0.1889534139724124,0.0,0.0,0.12218508927167185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11780192325270188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903372668158477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980767463252329,0.09306519123640647,0.0,0.12097871327782593,0.0,0.0,0.10486541095083722,0.22192989037050895,0.0,0.11133873188694676,0.0,0.12310172783392558,0.3349339558574728,0.11168565756112417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17691911157049478,0.0,0.0,0.0821754243887233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22529391441175656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683218605174154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114098586437952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10542007059929444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08831327439404953,0.10089102961023662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167568691863467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07844259241996761,0.1181248352860504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24244939366887405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16665340016548724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14202452769579066,0.0,0.0,0.06462302040949497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462615787091726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13073505776197092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10273599926070634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018511832873854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15745397519535906,0.0,0.0,0.07136774561920331
bipolarreddit,PestoPastaPenne18,2018/04/01,"Question I’ve been very conflicted the last several days. I started Vraylar 5 days ago and have noticed since that I’ve been feeling small charges of minor, anxious energy and even more minor things happening during my sleep. Today I went further and got my usual Hypomania symptoms: warmth/pressure in chest, random thoughts, forgetting thoughts, many ideas but it was still more minor than my last episode and lasted shortly (under an hour). 
My last episode btw, also seemed to include rapid cycling and maybe mixed states. I would cycle between HM, normal, or depression in one day or under a day and have symptoms of all 3 during HM. The previous episode which was my first a year ago, wasn’t like this. Sure I had the energy spikes here and there but it wasn’t nearly as intense in symptoms and I didn’t cycle between depression, just crashed into it at the end. (And boooyy that was my worst depressive episode yet).

Anyhow after this recent episode, I crashed into bad depression with suicidal thoughts then went baseline and have been that way till the last few days. My question is- is the Vraylar causing hypomania or have I progressed into rapid cycling due to my illness being untreated for a year and the meds are helping it, which is why it’s so minor? I know this is a lot but damn, this is confusing and worrisome ",5.549044434857635,7.559372209016393,5.329076790336496,79.7289516824849,68.71311475409836,7.923727351164797,33.74374460742019,8.532816995589336,2.94580655737705,1065,51,178,17,19,329,138,244,0.189,0.75,0.061,-0.9911,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,0,0,0,2,8,10,1,1,12,2,22,6,2,1,2,43,33,23,1,2,7,0,1,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,15,16,0,1,9,0,0,2,3,8,2,2,16,1,16,2,22,15,6,44,0,4,0,0,3,13,1,10,28,122,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17914520223255112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808077297353754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415502668281688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08437052578484916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380372071412954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3258367148114475,0.0,0.3481286015065769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949818166242683,0.0,0.0,0.06674098722923602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051092703031262635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08595103749595721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808169971168611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935605954335611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773007672625632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09951153215490828,0.0,0.0,0.11407044158194987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05553311869628968,0.4118364058823708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049366753568000916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08590705657949163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244640701492397,0.10151589657741804,0.0,0.11224110477546548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900519420369418,0.0,0.11504336308337333,0.0,0.0,0.06847246933549489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263928771241762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997723151722826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09198994055277873,0.0,0.11415502668281688,0.0,0.08358761945794141,0.0,0.10112057602255152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715220118319273,0.0,0.08069674441065572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105296744260506,0.0,0.09523616776700193,0.3150814425437966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06713153587242919,0.0,0.0,0.24066152337785604,0.0,0.0,0.0957813102340094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128965622270323,0.08337485310024607,0.0,0.08020688202035102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18734427631738249,0.0911797426412149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178131630718425,0.0,0.0,0.13014268369068632
bipolarreddit,Roadguard69,2018/04/01,"Got prescribed lamotrigine 50 mg? Not sure what its doing Pretty went to the psychiatrist early December of last year, and they give me 2 different kinds of medication, neither seem to be helping. I mean I don't get super mad (albeit temper was an issue but maybe the police coming kinda made me see sense in getting to upset) but still need to sometimes walk out the room and chill out. I don't really feel any different other than real tired and hungry? They said it would help with my lack of motivation and drive. The other medication helps with serotonin levels but again didn't feel anything. My mood is real shitty only with my girlfriend soon to be wife, I'll berate her with my rants and angry issues for no reason? Any advice? Found out I have severe depression and a real lack of motivation and drive, my mom suffers from bipolar so the doctors assume I have it. Pretty much just wondering if their is other medication or if I need to up my dose or anything of the soft and advice would be amazing, thanks  ",6.427832469775474,7.097598341968915,7.129132124352335,72.596427029361,65.58031088082902,9.127633851468048,29.036701208981,9.075114841892004,2.476361312607945,812,25,137,13,12,269,125,193,0.188,0.6759999999999999,0.13699999999999998,-0.9161,2,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,3,3,5,11,2,1,8,0,14,7,0,4,1,47,32,16,0,8,9,2,3,0,1,2,7,1,1,0,7,16,0,0,10,0,0,5,6,5,0,0,7,5,18,5,23,20,4,18,0,2,1,0,12,7,0,8,6,96,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223313708173206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547224180447382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18723080357146168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799481052639587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0979819647466736,0.0,0.0,0.2377115358718209,0.0,0.11643894507049705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150417036820656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473278735589045,0.0,0.0,0.1188705900733058,0.10912967457059752,0.0,0.0,0.0909848616651132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22875429234007955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374733279192746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846431208655595,0.0,0.09273019229774687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764316948703047,0.0,0.0,0.1142879609044432,0.12391880365305233,0.0,0.3438059532730957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332352120385828,0.0,0.0,0.0836272385676956,0.16870430497413458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08652017439397279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314711549716622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38845390665068896,0.07287804757641539,0.11696499480233435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082125214020722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065258675246153,0.10356351156767199,0.0,0.12851726346742048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125122876961356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084947955207663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721815779998052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473561165355093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075124386240114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054573522438607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336867747692673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16162474151087478,0.0,0.0,0.07325819131340412
bipolarreddit,TrixieVanSickle,2018/04/01,"Psych doc put me on Buspirone. Thoughts? Experiences? I've been in the midst of a serious depressive/anxiety ridden phase for weeks now. Rather than increase my Cymbalta and risk a manic episode, the doc put me on Buspirone, 15 mg 2xs a day. 
This shit sure works. And by works I mean I'm too damn tired to do *anything*. You can't have panic attacks when you're dizzy and laying in bed 18 hours a day.  I called up my therapist and told her I'm discontinuing the Buspirone. The psych doc will be calling me tomorrow. 
Has anyone had experience with this medication? How much did it effect you? I feel like I'm back on seroquel and that's *NOT* a good thing.",0.7682252141982886,3.315203325581397,2.4253365973072216,89.76694002447981,93.26356589147288,5.816564667482661,22.293349653202768,7.273561745256523,1.1094248062015502,515,20,105,10,19,168,93,129,0.11,0.768,0.122,0.3753,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,2,0,3,6,9,3,2,9,0,9,3,1,2,1,14,16,7,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,5,6,0,0,4,0,0,4,2,6,0,0,5,1,11,3,12,9,2,18,0,0,0,0,6,6,2,0,9,59,16,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321781783118912,0.0,0.0,0.12081357680091392,0.0,0.14218531714814564,0.0,0.0,0.1965650950503,0.0,0.1328591162107267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3528606048985589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2228609024362425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33802897779323976,0.0,0.0,0.0873640491376426,0.1234358886998021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14492180586306722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701560079846232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844128266582756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18821085058584494,0.0,0.17406024212213456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701505533445068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20272309509416706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.347388372505005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17735880527855274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16284550917938614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20061385850534197,0.11478904913399693,0.0,0.0,0.1371700452088566,0.0,0.1985881246190808,0.0,0.16510113156872175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13859574003949313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515755093902946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,crypticcalamity,2018/04/01,"Accepting bipolar and getting medicated First time posting here. Actually, I made a post earlier and deleted it because it was long. I am diagnosed BP1 (mixed episodes, rapid cycling), PTSD and ADHD. The meds I took only made things worse so I stopped. I've been fighting symptoms unmedicated due to subconscious fear and denial.

I had a psychotic episode last week that lasted a few days. At one point I recognized my delusions for what they were but the feelings didn't leave. I even had the presence of mind mind to mention inpatient. But I was too scared. So instead of taking it out on my husband verbally, I internalized. I have so much self loathing that I felt I deserved to be hurt. To die. I didn't deserve my family. But I couldn't abandon them either. I love them and they should have so much better than me. 

In the past month or two I stopped taking care of myself. I feel so stressed. I force myself to eat once every other day. I haven't been showering or grooming in a while. Fighting addiction. Not sleeping. Car keeps breaking and I can't keep up with bills. I hate myself but want to change. Would you go to the new appointments or consider inpatient at this point? I have gotten a new job and I desperately want to excel there. What should I tell them? 

I will get stable. I hope I never experience a psychotic episode again.",2.4357647058823524,5.206189576470589,3.5508823529411804,84.74397058823531,82.64705882352942,6.6941176470588255,27.323529411764717,7.908726449838941,2.0677294117647063,1062,48,196,21,30,342,158,255,0.17,0.705,0.125,-0.9362,2,0,0,0,4,0,34.0,0,1,5,3,11,14,3,3,11,0,21,8,1,2,1,39,41,20,1,7,9,1,3,0,0,4,5,0,1,1,10,9,1,5,4,0,1,3,7,8,0,3,14,3,40,6,21,21,4,33,0,2,0,1,13,9,0,4,18,138,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.10960878493977276,0.12244612450253113,0.13498763471615838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06846964632433293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993385171815356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145184229198614,0.0,0.11882039027398605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1448750979911533,0.0,0.0,0.11400312972975632,0.1165711366400731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11493210042146447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741867523312798,0.0,0.09463502045666808,0.0,0.0,0.10987118141024137,0.10588594440602457,0.12639199628895995,0.11358542518099035,0.0,0.10784547068769122,0.0,0.0,0.09553991626506708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117365842845185,0.0,0.06383443303727626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11089342143395978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155978265160596,0.0,0.0,0.12024161508436408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114609473101455,0.19967156917825765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831126970852846,0.0,0.1189313863225296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09940027064119757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137380242584967,0.21256109363268827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12476295882118915,0.11315127219778875,0.0,0.0,0.2268237432296707,0.0,0.08965329821092863,0.0,0.16513725275966404,0.0,0.08662863570055213,0.21696003266575267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11961786250124153,0.07611140222807965,0.08542494139718551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10722280204168988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21235870289736905,0.0,0.21514433355998705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312968686875274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245259899002903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171749694390192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124018004590618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878102420957227,0.12866296380608716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11674419729460035,0.1689023514788371,0.0,0.0981732283796796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746208714036629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654950939854211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12479241252073725,0.0,0.0,0.10972098724332004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13249929887293949,0.0,0.09009687746877147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11446437262126764,0.07978939113686961,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Topiarey,2018/04/01,"Ever feel like you should probably hospitalize yourself but can't because of school/work/etc related anxiety? University student, dropped from hypomania to severe depression in a matter of seconds last week and have been having bad ideations since (so far no plan or anything, which is usually how this goes for me)

I have a 12 page research paper due in 2 days, which I haven’t started yet. Spent my entire freshman year hypomanic, finished with a 3.96 gpa. Had a full blown manic episode last semester (when I finally got diagnosed) and gpa dropped a ton. Depression this semester has set me to make my gpa fall a lot more.

I have such high expectations for myself based based on how well I used to do in school, and I feel like I owe it to my parents to also do well. They aren’t super strict or anything, but my brother was also BP and had a paranoid, violent manic episode which ended in suicide. Sister too, although she’s relatively stable now but without a job. It feels like I have an obligation to be the one who turned out really well and to have grades continue dropping is putting me under way too much stress
",8.090561749571183,7.486962816037737,8.123533447684391,71.14771012006862,62.349056603773576,11.482675814751287,39.08404802744426,10.832165505486646,4.289899999999999,895,42,159,20,11,291,143,212,0.173,0.7190000000000001,0.108,-0.9657,4,0,0,0,0,1,23.0,0,1,1,2,15,12,1,1,10,0,20,1,0,4,1,25,30,17,1,2,6,3,3,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,8,7,0,0,3,0,2,2,5,5,3,2,6,3,19,7,21,22,6,33,0,2,0,0,7,10,0,3,19,112,27,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20922232220327944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007163694423106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21529601358062467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922344550468273,0.0797424304764453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843636052580435,0.0,0.2253382030132088,0.13277250774028793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11586154852823816,0.0,0.14589114674119733,0.0,0.11832790680146138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19842904900650185,0.2803586400784245,0.0,0.143299319002509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462315836403983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821118568151014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12981178257611814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21326021530052006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19172596832551395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121259024395892,0.0,0.0,0.08731873690348124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616265457894478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886423185521915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452524283923624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14103860943717073,0.0,0.0,0.13150326149123773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380219932535135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647796118277428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14778152939062594,0.0,0.10820991944523466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09259016094827516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14984592439108474,0.0,0.0,0.14308826167694655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14228705118714954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298048792462648,0.14407211035608025,0.0,0.0,0.10383332243051507,0.10493035050401683,0.0,0.35284996731083434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609912692553588,0.0,0.09523346955335013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08423932521275951
bipolarreddit,bipolar-cow,2018/04/01,"Scrambling & struggling to cope... Hello! I'm new to Reddit in general and I'm really happy that this is a thing! I have been struggling to cope lately (Bipolar II and anxiety)  and not a damn thing makes me feel better. I am in this constant state of emotional discomfort that manifests to the physical. I want to be left completely alone so I don't have to worry about the toll taken on myself and the people I love. I'm so focused on pushing people away I feel like I don't love anyone anymore...at least for right now. I try to avoid any sort of affection and I just feel like such an awful, horrid person. My boyfriend is so supportive and I feel so guilty and angry with him for trying to help me because I'm tired of the help and I just want to give up. I've felt like a ghost for a while now, why not be an actual ghost? My boyfriend just got his concealed carry permit and I just wish he could kill me. I can't live with myself like this for much longer...and I don't want to try to cope with this on my birthday in 4 days.

Can anyone offer any feedback or perhaps share their own experiences? Thank you all so much for reading.",1.4353683834048638,3.636331283261806,3.034876609442062,90.5956339413448,81.66094420600858,5.943419170243205,20.867131616595138,7.1686216300943375,0.5817097281831192,891,26,186,12,24,293,127,233,0.146,0.634,0.219,0.936,0,2,0,0,0,1,28.0,0,1,1,1,14,17,2,4,10,1,14,4,0,3,1,36,35,16,3,5,7,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,8,12,0,1,5,1,0,1,6,6,0,0,4,5,26,11,31,28,5,19,0,0,0,2,14,10,1,2,11,119,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.1195297116591568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12685966468299242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13271468951621884,0.0,0.16659081615524415,0.0,0.0937022735322791,0.0,0.0,0.17129161506674828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508063459261515,0.0,0.0,0.07466698118265744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083298598910804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842536281557254,0.1323650086860483,0.0,0.09779595878620123,0.0,0.0,0.07899402725333478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13778146780007325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11981585819816575,0.0,0.0,0.24773257231209395,0.1750095750201193,0.1176067960440298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175007589928905,0.0,0.0,0.09796409954102747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038976399253052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16420100263656293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551379533884084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381707504812287,0.0,0.13308256029406448,0.0,0.0,0.23936398198809244,0.0,0.10815832715894703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22109872635504949,0.0,0.08176107056570726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800841804550056,0.0,0.0,0.11829877577946092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16983422399767253,0.10695098525611707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252021705990933,0.0,0.07846835370712227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10460328879455426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2561001613835179,0.0,0.0,0.13899687586069384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11276963769295953,0.0,0.0,0.1627499337308745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14078086875589346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494820414526844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21673814281435455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11052552931796153,0.0,0.14085408594575016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439156557295845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,anonacct729,2018/04/01,"Depression thoughts... I feel like my biggest issue when I’m depressed is overthinking. I’m so scared of things dying. It’s like my worst irrational fear that I obsess over. I don’t mind death myself (not suicidal) but I mean like if I died right now, it wouldn’t scare me. I’m mainly just scared my wife will get cancer suddenly and leave me alone or I will walk in my house one day and my cat will be dead. I don’t know why but it freaks me out. Anyone else?",0.9834375000000009,3.105380468749998,2.289416666666664,95.74725,82.85416666666666,5.923333333333334,17.933333333333334,7.1686216300943375,0.02564083333333312,359,8,82,5,10,115,67,96,0.412,0.531,0.057,-0.9913,0,1,0,0,0,1,13.0,0,0,0,0,4,12,0,5,0,0,8,1,0,0,0,15,16,8,5,2,6,1,1,3,0,4,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,9,0,1,1,1,16,3,4,10,2,10,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,2,7,47,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17557634339782555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11853553098725615,0.1736979701064858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10932933245619816,0.0,0.29202255210595673,0.0,0.3518795080517618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14161603726524152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907622879802584,0.08571672346719947,0.12110839689835433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856959842889413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956086094787651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17693962214213407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931662780817919,0.0,0.0,0.17950205735876534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484634466181507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846619701403253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17117150411888102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487424565413262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14477306872778464,0.0,0.0,0.5091710480690821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185432380273564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11262460106650556,0.0,0.0,0.1345835838564027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529695694707168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,juju_onthatbeatt,2018/04/02,"Ways to help until I can get on meds? Hi! I'm a freshman in college who's had a long history of mental health. I had to drop out of school last year after I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt. My doctor said it was ""anxiety"" and basically send me to CBT and told me to get back to school. I've always had ""ups and downs"" where for a couple of days I feel like I'm on top of the world and can run 5 miles easily. I can study without distraction and can get my work done. Other days, I'm too exhausted to get out of bed and I easily snap at people. I can barley do the things I love, like read my book or play my Xbox. My mom has been insistent that I have Bipolar Disorder (she's kept a notebook with all my Up and down behavior and notices a pattern). I can't get a psychologist until May since the University ones refuse to take me until next semester. Is there anything I can do to lessen the symptoms until I get on the meds? 

Thanks so much :) ",3.097042354630293,3.864263417085432,5.014877961234745,84.42559045226132,73.12060301507537,8.49978463747308,25.772074659009327,8.841846274778883,1.6999702799712852,736,23,162,14,14,254,120,199,0.07,0.7809999999999999,0.149,0.9315,0,0,0,0,0,1,22.0,0,0,0,3,5,7,0,1,12,0,20,6,0,0,1,18,36,14,1,0,2,1,1,2,0,1,5,1,1,0,5,11,0,2,1,4,0,2,2,2,0,1,10,2,22,5,33,25,2,31,0,0,0,1,10,15,0,2,14,109,27,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180333120820672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851738885171576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11673318203525088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907643425312416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569579821484828,0.0,0.1829672909582104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625761753206456,0.145192866896168,0.0,0.14516517982032448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172529242731336,0.10134002831153012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44467497756699065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15078342818286306,0.0,0.0,0.09508127914748636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562937520080845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860471753414202,0.0,0.0,0.12553570966932792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802814466515974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3151340831374303,0.0,0.14295476560088635,0.0,0.0,0.16613687452843648,0.0,0.0,0.1042784998687698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508625974847355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615009261484481,0.0,0.0,0.0961234695941521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834321959934073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14189169094500853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349349756382393,0.0,0.0,0.28712623250812064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11734251846600087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551644902258032,0.0,0.0,0.1474398969199539,0.10665603031530446,0.0,0.0,0.13059946320276164,0.0,0.0,0.0942410316126441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554691041380046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11259654953218334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13674152245621973,0.0,0.10327089435919028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134887656343224
bipolarreddit,femuhnist,2018/04/02,Fuck depression. That is all.,1.4860000000000009,-0.5884013999999951,1.9050000000000047,85.85750000000003,163.0,9.0,22.5,7.1686216300943375,3.391,23,1,4,1,2,7,5,5,0.706,0.294,0.0,-0.802,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6816610548551955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7316680984529134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lost-in-limbo1990,2018/04/02,"Here we go again: EMDR Take 2 I have PTSD as the result of an extensive history of sexual abuse. My therapist guided me through 9 months of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) in 2016. It was BRUTAL, but my symptoms were nearly nonexistent after we finished it up. I recently have had some symptoms pop back up, and after an assessment it appears that I’m in need of a “tune up” as my therapist calls it. So here we go again... I’m starting it again today. I hope that it’ll be a little less sucky since I’ve put some hard work into it previously and that it’ll be short-lived compared to 9 months of nonstop weekly EMDR sessions. I’m still EXTREMELY anxious as I get closer and closer to my appointment today because I know that things will get worse before they get better.

Has anyone been through EMDR before? Do you have any coping skills that help you, especially in between sessions when your brain is processing everything? 

PS: For the record, I’m not trying to scare anyone who is facing the possibility of going through this process. Doing EMDR has changed my life for the better. I’ve had PTSD as long as I can remember, and the relief that it’s brought me has been amazing. Just stick it out until it gets better. ",4.768396624472572,6.439035227848103,5.826012658227852,76.74425105485233,70.13924050632912,8.30464135021097,28.77848101265823,8.841846274778883,2.433977215189873,987,37,173,18,18,327,138,237,0.07200000000000001,0.8,0.127,0.9502,0,0,0,0,1,0,26.0,3,3,1,5,10,8,1,1,9,0,22,6,3,1,0,21,40,14,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,20,10,0,0,2,0,0,7,1,2,0,0,7,2,20,6,32,28,3,37,0,0,1,0,10,12,0,4,18,121,40,3,0.0,0.14670131004536704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0841988942938474,0.0,0.0,0.1398764525319009,0.0,0.17314957598847833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520659948674444,0.0,0.0754768768283192,0.0,0.2107160135955012,0.0,0.0,0.3285146672192198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821922432203795,0.1264296317911045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309805504021615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127753109724876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587542871863725,0.0,0.21110187791555085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11091451105639838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299102665452966,0.0,0.0,0.12297688722246165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804584841325452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745466198342891,0.0,0.12409581838044854,0.0,0.10957296242409584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976569563180012,0.0,0.0,0.09180774267195617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13958355246471396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894677603249342,0.12446893593277457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12225302654407187,0.0,0.14025900581644454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239610749965048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024215930311132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08763736108434125,0.0,0.0988793456323118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573837568223015,0.09309396691049628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875190475889444,0.08225762249562757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23472553568081025,0.0,0.0,0.08406270534110141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931745362192634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013927476834176,0.0,0.1261787349191543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FriendlyRelic,2018/04/02,"Newly diagnosed, any tips? Hi all! Recently diagnosed here. Graduated from a “Major Depression with ADD” diagnosis to Bipolar I (Adderall did some very scary things to my mood). Was lucky enough to catch it before I did anything truly regrettable or life ruining. As one of my friends who is also a doctor put it: “You’re lucky. A lot of diagnoses come after you’re brought against your will to a hospital in the middle of your first manic episode.” I’m not new to the mental health system and I haven’t lost my job yet, so I’ve been able to start  to get a good professional support system up. Other than that I’m not sure what I can do to try to start feeling... well, stable I guess (whatever that is.)

Anyways, any tips, suggestions or words of warning for me? Hell it’d even be nice to hear some about what I should avoid or watch out for. Anything really.
",1.6978143712574862,4.316047928143714,3.2114101796407186,86.91064820359283,84.68862275449102,6.693293413173653,23.32005988023952,7.908726449838941,1.5198026347305391,672,25,131,14,20,220,118,167,0.146,0.72,0.134,-0.5118,1,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,2,0,2,8,14,1,1,7,0,13,7,0,0,2,22,25,7,0,1,5,0,1,0,1,2,7,1,0,0,10,5,0,1,1,0,0,4,3,5,1,2,6,3,12,8,26,15,6,17,1,3,1,0,7,4,1,9,7,87,22,4,0.1558538968737279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463630502145814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21197198866397227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2565089550288734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13262018705763112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13425433190956854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342367330023896,0.4745652738842335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595230675453347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610387378433025,0.0,0.1029400289919884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880441314499019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13256924506279286,0.0,0.0,0.12041233411233508,0.0,0.08142722848415107,0.0,0.0,0.13072285425963,0.0,0.0,0.17169063853011124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16566540431998875,0.1756586688928953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466094399637312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11008421650922752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17013293922451594,0.13250140973394894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15706407082095816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505246647877492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561063405219223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566762134932615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09984399720442266,0.0,0.1538869208085902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206283807656589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17686115522006865,0.1468904533483819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035424037892775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581456545878216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859578726133186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14013137059003974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tinyconfusedjoey,2018/04/02,"Questioning Medication? This probably isn't a universal experience, but since I've been on meds things have gotten a lot better. I still have the swings but I can manage to get through them without hospitalization now. But... I really just want to go off my meds. I feel like I might have been making up how bad it is. I want to see if I can survive without them, I hate the idea of being medicated for the rest of my life.",3.1296428571428585,4.903002202380957,4.963809523809527,80.84785714285717,74.59523809523809,8.609523809523811,25.095238095238088,9.23628265651192,2.0255666666666667,331,11,68,8,7,113,58,84,0.069,0.758,0.173,0.8352,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,2,2,4,4,1,0,5,0,11,3,0,2,0,16,20,5,0,3,7,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,3,2,12,2,12,15,2,6,0,0,1,0,3,3,0,4,3,53,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15665521953727565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16593502076620914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1835287790293801,0.0,0.0,0.0948665251953732,0.13403607045392305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802392929909423,0.0,0.10662901231234063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18523632837052628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118006247146476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13252185610304826,0.0916618635014661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15950817756641392,0.0,0.0,0.1252380918412431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4168079965400524,0.3780156828302843,0.0,0.19903562351321308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022865532443289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101778170613939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019444975718707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14950918892761195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15520155593404514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498339152683674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464667479716468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22132677770708686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36171879253034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,DarnHeather,2018/04/02,"Depakote side effects suck, but (TMI-girl stuff) I just got my first period without having major PMS in years. Usually, I get so angry a few days before my period. Or I have terrible mood swings back and forth.  This time I didn't even know it was coming. ",1.38826666666667,3.9329323600000015,3.2360000000000007,86.70466666666668,85.4,6.533333333333335,18.333333333333336,7.793537801064563,0.8781333333333334,198,5,38,4,6,66,45,50,0.23,0.77,0.0,-0.9179,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,4,3,1,0,1,0,4,1,0,1,0,8,9,4,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,3,0,6,0,2,6,2,11,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,8,25,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2555314314964596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2827774801513765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28626186193129666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21431711668848213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21949239139901475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826688598179728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17362203294474768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657844407056754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18263285471981294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3804237137302219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19377684494893307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660004713204928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203419438625653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140013959356088
bipolarreddit,Butthurtboner,2018/04/02,"Question from a non bipolar person I’m sorry if this offends anyone that’s not the intention! 
I’m curious how mania and depression feels for another Bipolar person. My boyfriend is bipolar and I can usually tell when he’s on the ups or downs but I would love to hear the point of view from other people on how they feel if anyone wouldn’t mind sharing! I want to know as much as I can about it so I can help him if he ever needs me and just to overall learn more about it!",2.5984090909090902,4.080467565656567,4.135239898989898,87.4561931818182,75.36363636363637,6.970202020202023,25.506313131313128,7.6454224807358475,1.298140404040404,375,13,78,5,8,125,69,99,0.053,0.777,0.16899999999999998,0.9318,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,8,4,1,0,4,0,6,4,0,3,1,24,15,14,0,7,7,0,2,0,0,2,3,1,0,2,5,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,9,2,15,13,2,8,0,1,1,1,12,5,0,5,3,56,14,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324737057410865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3100381573192085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19095146661197568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20054200346613896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241982195032124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2498740821382228,0.0,0.14860206749632374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218415311434054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20009456294177488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22385565442095484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629763589094918,0.16438910233048099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537001383210079,0.3871629837731304,0.0,0.0,0.20957989552681575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2483567953352981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481770545717825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19377717669793115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24417325071828425,0.0,0.13076548705699895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15749062346359385,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Spagbolsunday,2018/04/03,"What helps or hurts in a work setting? Hi, 

Everyone’s got different skills, interests, and goals, but I was wondering if you could share aspects of your work environment that make a difference for you, for better or worse. 

My SO has bipolar DO and is looking for work. He found something that seemed good on the face of it - turned out they wanted him to do rotating shifts, ie a month straight on nights. Between that and the long commute, it was a less than ideal setup. I’m wondering what other environmental factors are worth considering when looking at potential jobs. (Could include management style, size of organization - big orgs might have decent HR staff and can afford to handle sick day requests, but maybe the right smaller employers could offer a better culture ? Anything you can think of.)

He’s looking at sales or customer service as possibilities  - I think  sales especially would suit his personality in many ways, but wonder how the stressors might affect him (competition with coworkers for commissions , managing disappointment, dealing with complaints, etc... he’s very personable and likes people, so I can see that working for him, it’s  just the other stuff i worry might stress him out. Input from anyone in those fields would be amazing.) 

Thank you!",7.7620151515151505,9.469735413636364,7.186363636363637,69.66287878787881,63.04545454545455,10.048484848484847,35.57575757575758,10.203070172399654,3.963675757575759,1021,46,158,23,15,318,150,220,0.12,0.742,0.13699999999999998,0.2915,4,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,0,5,1,9,5,12,0,1,10,0,20,3,1,3,0,37,37,17,0,8,8,0,0,1,0,5,2,0,0,2,13,9,0,0,7,0,3,0,0,3,0,0,4,4,16,9,26,24,2,20,0,2,4,0,23,13,0,11,6,104,29,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07658789678213287,0.0,0.09013618073423872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19374576215018888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623591397970752,0.0,0.0,0.07063960957255097,0.1129235312017128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288769748486173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215805161915295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10466330654240633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12009708712599458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187093539338807,0.08760340476770115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07341754257236299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11725715270199305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10869442588478732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05351220472385832,0.0,0.0,0.09693310178025027,0.2759399549533015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07311401005639362,0.11104909092016528,0.1100404431677682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34859104842253696,0.0,0.0,0.08742805451490644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1027891346641818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593626817365674,0.191279672769762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348180060645715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354043257922608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728347886866182,0.09971456852262263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432371862824099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546947896130847,0.0,0.12538887712409671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10084310745066362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14036842079544135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191402585551726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09037605038735892,0.06460529705106903,0.08694205676342959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35635102337506225,0.3189647994255995,0.1112358988612169,0.1116233045437124,0.15561794997465214,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,biosisme,2018/04/03,"How did you know? Hi y'all, I've been struggling a lot with my mental health. I'm currently seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist but I feel like I'm not getting better. I'm on medication for anxiety and depression, I feel like it's not working and I'm just like I was before. (it worked for about 3 weeks I was on a crazy high, then I started feeling shitty again)I have this gut feeling that there's something more going on that depression and anxiety. I was wondering if anyone could tell me how they were able to get proper help and what they were feeling? I feel like a lot of things in my head I'm too scared to tell my therapist, for fear of being judged or called 'crazy'. Thanks in advanced for any help! ",2.160357142857144,4.352071305555562,3.4992063492063497,88.29500000000002,79.0,6.8920634920634924,24.174603174603178,7.957251820313856,1.355743650793651,564,20,116,10,14,184,87,144,0.213,0.599,0.188,-0.8079999999999999,1,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,0,2,2,4,6,11,0,3,5,0,10,4,2,2,0,25,29,11,0,2,6,0,6,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,7,6,0,0,8,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,7,7,15,6,15,20,3,12,0,2,1,0,10,6,0,5,8,71,22,2,0.13067282165170124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886199968514509,0.0,0.1999287017926204,0.0,0.0,0.0913694751933072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119294671751234,0.0,0.0,0.11556949173671438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343156100370654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10433161514461206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22509661962369806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14704325356508202,0.3964326294364785,0.28005806969291913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365423119823888,0.0,0.0742643759010185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1341080141246047,0.13889909887913776,0.0,0.0,0.17517447577654408,0.13806301051077233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07181436539025783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553605604793884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22218672012790666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163912033601102,0.1316874696492555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13082629053140168,0.0,0.10412932058915401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005983222039319,0.0,0.0,0.09249089573439613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366076053017247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284276115226903,0.1203059777296162,0.0,0.3034424350889481,0.08681321632083915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048178554658993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14170910095189346,0.19026274093646614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,w3b_p1ra73,2018/04/03,"Sick and tired of being sick and tired. Haven't posted in a while but.... Here goes. 

Quick background: BP1, Lamictal, Welbutrin, Benztropine, Hydroxyzine.

So, I have a appointment with my pdoc this afternoon.... and I really feel like I need a med change of some sort. Long story sort I went inpatient last year around July for a full blown psychotic manic episode after taking SSRIs for months and not realizing they were in fact driving me bat shit crazy. They kept me in the hospital for 16 days on a CEC, which I think I'd the max without a court order. I went ""home"" slightly less delusional than when I went in, still not well by any means. This subsided as time passed and with med compliance. As I came down I was in a mixed state for a while and eventually wound up crashing into what I was hoping was only a depressed episode, the only thing is that I have not come out of it for almost a year now. Furthermore at this point it doesn't feel like my depressive lows of the past. I feel more detached from life than ever and I am constantly, obsessively  plagued by the thought that somehow I will stumble upon some kind of joy that I once understood. I have lost any and all drive that I once had..... Personal Improvement, Professional Advancement, Sexual Intamacy, Intamacy of any kind for that matter, it has all been lost somewhere in the past. It feels like when you misplace your keys  and need to get out of the house quickly because you are already running behind for an ""important"" event.  Every minute that passes while you look for the keys you know you are falling further and further behind and then you start to regret not making an intentional effort to put them where they could be found after you last used them.... but as they say hindsight is 20/20.  Finally you look up and realize that even if you did find you keys at this point that you likely wouldn't make it until after the events concludes anyway, so what's the point in stressing over it now, worry about it tomorrow...... Rinse and Repeat. My life has become a series of repetitive movements, each step trying to make it to the next hoping it will be easier, but it's not. Each night trying to fall asleep and telling myself that I will wake up rested an refreshed to take on the day, but I won't. I don't want sympathy, I don't want attention, I just want to feel better, I truly just want to be well. Whatever the hell that means.

",6.252899159663862,6.720749832244014,6.253758948023656,79.42370098039218,65.92810457516339,9.607251789604733,29.900482415188304,9.516144504307137,2.535733208839092,1899,62,359,35,28,601,246,459,0.1,0.823,0.076,-0.8436,0,0,0,0,0,0,69.0,0,12,6,6,21,22,2,2,27,0,31,10,3,6,4,82,69,31,0,12,13,0,5,4,0,5,7,1,1,1,28,24,0,1,17,0,0,16,12,10,2,0,17,8,47,12,64,42,10,86,1,6,2,0,21,29,2,9,42,254,75,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445828852827653,0.0,0.09307565285026416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17207034718142725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508400284463412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05141529275785957,0.09315127289290458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07459537499035092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646701623882388,0.0,0.0,0.08922472189503662,0.07265484981574961,0.0,0.09114585275439664,0.0,0.0673417857784772,0.0,0.0,0.10878974810611178,0.0,0.14529065151677814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05570838750648,0.07629393703291926,0.07106342069999036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21323419216462086,0.18076601717181756,0.0,0.09239468115650472,0.0770888478132139,0.0,0.0,0.0924787943745347,0.0,0.0,0.04406623586949655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.084603864907392,0.16754515885375829,0.0,0.09732160104932214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17566250206395226,0.04635323246194162,0.13750316284276345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914926101527674,0.16482478619964994,0.0,0.0,0.0746417469577522,0.14165536103343354,0.0,0.184142782914378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16890073682160234,0.0,0.0,0.1837505888403091,0.18737424238303788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732254103355036,0.0,0.0,0.1250799493904279,0.0,0.0,0.08970075412411646,0.07915108913984414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17964712101587285,0.0,0.1282947585256738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16103169954106575,0.0,0.07364588912779015,0.0,0.0,0.23919690253900094,0.0,0.08077819507627708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478897179065199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054032897998239085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707369917218085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08657785883360437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05969908621056012,0.0,0.06735719225577963,0.0,0.09661571669069538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683231643463455,0.0,0.07372033520102474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05603437661839419,0.05404420137934415,0.0,0.06695967979508947,0.049181639050868316,0.1938819399724512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11452801935516077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728460974648416,0.0,0.0,0.19899300222739072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516706915878497,0.23456307680233146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130456381439269,0.0,0.0,0.08565538152528962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086294847463406
bipolarreddit,allycat45,2018/04/03,"could i actually be bipolar? I've been diagnosed with OCD (at 14) ADHD (19) Social Anxiety (19) and Depression (14ish), though I had struggled with all of these since I was a kid, but got worse at puberty. I was on Luvox from when I was 14 til 18 (I'm 20 now), just for OCD, and it had a moderate effect on that, sort of helped with my mood but barely touched my social anxiety, but I was stable(ish). Anyways, a year ago I went back after stopping the luvox because my symptoms all came back really bad with OCD and my depression, and the doc pointed out the other issues too. And I was given a Zoloft prescription, but I didn't take it for several months until everything became unbearable. I ended up stopping it after a week though, because I think I became a little manic almost when I took it, I had barely any sleep, full of energy, I was talking really fast (which is an achievement when I already talk fast), I felt amazing, though my head felt like it was about to explode, and then I started to worry that I was going to bite my tongue off (that was OCD), and then I became like scarily numb, and I stopped taking it because I was freaking out.
Point is, the past year, my OCD is much better and I have been in therapy for it, but my depression has just gotten worse, I had an episode at uni and then I dropped out, and I got better when I started fixing my social anxiety and met a guy, then after I broke up with a guy, my depression came back worse than ever, and when I was on Luvox, I got depressed, but these days I have a lot more suicidal thoughts and urges to hurt myself, which are becoming more and more frequent, so I'm going to ask for some antidepressants when I get my ADHD prescription refilled (she has said several times she wants to prescribe Lexapro but I refused).
Anyway, I was remembering what happened when I started the zoloft, and I had read that when people with diagnosed bipolar take antidepressants it can trigger an episode. My question is, is it possible that I do have bipolar and I've just mainly been depressed, or can meds trigger that even if you aren't bipolar? I'm just a little worried I don't want to fuck up my life any further than I have, and I just needed to ramble a bit. 

Sorry it's so long and confusing to read",5.8496360814073824,5.822395195067267,6.630493273542602,78.07810624353229,66.78026905829597,9.552121421179717,32.62469817178337,9.265573868473778,2.8157688168333896,1771,69,339,30,26,587,197,446,0.192,0.7509999999999999,0.057,-0.9963,0,0,0,0,0,2,63.0,0,1,0,4,28,20,1,2,19,0,40,14,2,3,3,69,73,47,1,5,14,0,3,2,0,0,11,1,0,3,22,30,0,4,7,2,0,6,3,14,0,0,35,4,57,5,45,36,11,68,0,8,0,1,17,20,1,8,43,252,79,3,0.0,0.0,0.07116565128723402,0.0,0.17528673355109575,0.0,0.06464485769392699,0.0,0.0730252601716767,0.0,0.08047610108466284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09918491198210466,0.0,0.16736550010346354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06817634411134291,0.0,0.0,0.1682277113506869,0.0608905018382049,0.13336577839326852,0.08054148452285745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12899495742091427,0.0796167462267313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.166816758463368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05822580012679505,0.0,0.0,0.04703149802047084,0.0,0.3768684333677788,0.14803753148908794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459114891530765,0.0,0.0,0.04816720255991554,0.06596610822258323,0.0,0.0,0.06554155027825012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14004156991768515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741928608192402,0.03810103656172352,0.0,0.0828915128316632,0.0,0.17497772352579494,0.0,0.0,0.14441721237456287,0.06448857888777704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07484353055396836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04888103188924845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780692245973675,0.0,0.0,0.07611621969661865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0515100763733245,0.07125631542332676,0.1461828320506988,0.0,0.06453757335413463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0619994214556341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100479560932072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058209160522444674,0.0,0.05360929851965586,0.05407400508381189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961650513991041,0.050557986771193116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13787804879424134,0.08221356397535139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169426332508183,0.0,0.14589227936540033,0.0,0.09343704455555102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261140044221525,0.0,0.06936971090719815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1647721594101671,0.0,0.060325475619697214,0.0,0.07297907133923782,0.22301785744807934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163513955822428,0.1548530539218045,0.0,0.0,0.1829092194275205,0.0,0.07623851227715894,0.0,0.07976965037503891,0.0,0.0,0.07579845756926062,0.16449474173363202,0.1172309634889616,0.0,0.0,0.08339769944440141,0.0,0.0,0.046728295532247034,0.2149494672328877,0.05789541942247019,0.04252397307526215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08102391900086557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602776597309994,0.0,0.0584971630470529,0.0,0.0,0.06760350783264435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481206079352256,0.22295471018823348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09392442736109732
bipolarreddit,1Word1,2018/04/03,"Abilify Looking for experiences of this med. am on Lamictal too, small dose seroquel but really struggling with ‘crazy’ (thoughts, behaviour). 

If I’m being honest my first concern is weight gain and my second is if I’m going to feel sedated all day. 

Thoughts? ",5.412608695652175,7.95789569565218,6.08195652173913,71.94076086956524,70.30434782608695,9.817391304347826,35.413043478260875,10.125756701596842,4.398452173913044,206,11,32,6,4,67,40,46,0.076,0.757,0.16699999999999998,0.7105,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,9,11,4,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,2,3,2,1,5,8,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,20,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027165147607773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074745525900289,0.0,0.0,0.15893443276026248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673685003750412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17864069072570432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639576024927299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34914919864307176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20136751771764147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32860542721062297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4990850021757005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3827686333186861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,drd_ssb,2018/04/03,"Marijuana and bipolar Hello, 

I’ve scrolled for quite awhile and haven’t found a recent or pinned post about this discussion. I have seen mixed reviews/experiences about using cannabis while diagnosed with bipolar. (Specifically bipolar II)

I’m wondering from people in “green” states (or places marijuana is medicinal/legal) if you are able to stay stable with cannabis medication. Is that even a thing? 

I’ve talked with my psychiatrist about recreational drugs. I’m just wondering from other people if marijuana helps you. (You can’t be taking anything else)

Thank you
",6.184062500000002,9.597715947916667,5.731083333333332,71.07225000000003,71.8125,9.256666666666666,31.475,9.642632912329526,3.8373075000000014,465,21,69,13,10,143,68,96,0.0,0.918,0.08199999999999999,0.743,0,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,0,4,0,1,5,1,0,0,2,0,7,6,0,1,0,14,16,7,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,6,1,11,13,0,7,0,0,2,0,8,2,0,6,2,39,10,0,0.20440712211527332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16820964488532633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20746892621088425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370473666874529,0.0,0.1707559215782848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13500897634765602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999493880803018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22412185886584834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13700978523665658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059186708112218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.283420322435644,0.0,0.2135619367722417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19576551963904676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21741213533958886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20182737322987865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21787079494187367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15368871705046386,0.16429470195208593,0.0,0.18819061508078225,0.0,0.0,0.13579900920033725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17654212390379906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4433416090199221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PlaidCoat,2018/04/03,"Good news, Shitty news, Less Shitty news, and Good/Horrible ideas * **Good News**:  I am finally out of my depressive episode that I have been dealing with for about a year! (other a 4 day medication induced hypomania that was quickly resolved by adding a typical antipsychotic) WOOT.
 
* **Better News**: I was offered a position that will be part of a 3 year national research project that will be working with the same population I am already working with - people with severe and persistent mental illness. Once I announced that I'd be leaving my current organization I found out that despite me not feeling like I fit in with my team due to our extremely different backgrounds and ages that they really DO value me as a team member and the contributions I have made to our program! I thought that this coupled with more daylight hours was contributing to my decrease in depressive symptoms. 

* **Shitty News**: I am starting to notice yellow and red flags of swinging into hypomania; despite not taking my stimulant medication, and abstaining from caffeine I have had three hours of sleep in the past 3 days and am not tired. Tense body and jaw clenching, speaking at a faster pace than my baseline and being way more chatty than normal and last but not least; impulsive shopping for big ticket items that last one is more of a red flag.
 
* **Less Shitty News**: I had the cash to do it without spending bill money or putting it on my credit card and I still have enough in my accounts necessities until next payday
 
* **Good Idea**: Talking to my therapist about this tomorrow at my appointment and following up with my psychiatrist about this and trialing a new antipsychotic while starting a new job. Out of the 4 I have been on, only one did not turn me into a zombie. But I did develop temporary tardive dyskinesia after being on it for a few months so it was discontinued and the TD went away.

* ***Horrible Idea***: Not bringing this up so I can ride the wave at my last week at my current organization, and for the first few weeks at my new job.

*Quess which idea seems more appealing right now, as I am awake at 4am and I have an all clinic staff meeting at 8 with an hour and a half commute - in good weather.* I know what I ***should*** do but, goddamn, I just want a lil taste of it. 

Edit: I do have some what of a crisis plan set up with my mom so that I don't spend ALL of my money or rack up credit card debt, wherein I get an agreed upon amount of cash for the week out of my checking account and she holds on to all of my cards so I cannot absolutely fuck myself and kiddo finacially. ",2.003713117148699,4.796535243353784,3.5324393806602394,83.5615746421268,86.13701431492842,6.376745544843705,25.553315804849554,7.681125190322801,1.845612562080048,2030,87,369,40,63,667,244,489,0.07,0.865,0.065,-0.6689,6,0,0,0,0,0,79.0,2,0,1,9,11,12,1,0,27,0,38,11,3,3,3,77,54,32,0,3,13,1,1,1,0,3,6,1,0,0,23,34,1,2,11,4,14,5,9,3,0,5,14,6,51,9,73,32,18,74,0,2,3,1,12,32,1,4,36,273,74,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701559892979003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259836412716666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775304024698695,0.0,0.09765295107867984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972754834993192,0.0,0.11339488090311547,0.09063576688250263,0.15144088861214616,0.0,0.0,0.0918517155653606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09083895672406614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044452103706306534,0.06280598232024404,0.0,0.09630580131138827,0.0,0.07477984537434075,0.0,0.0963934750904615,0.0,0.08127533926843343,0.0459315850552046,0.0,0.0,0.36869165332416937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597335833621948,0.0,0.0,0.3969781043623681,0.0,0.0,0.17448272368180456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04831539153275237,0.21498562657505899,0.0,0.0930885333275784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04295047862129567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318662154964174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17712878490253384,0.0885969209848974,0.0,0.0,0.10296414731893652,0.0701723430331729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547244910202378,0.0934978387936206,0.0,0.08613733271290717,0.0,0.1000909954475354,0.0,0.0936258436425134,0.11914598865775032,0.0668627748329874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520260278856003,0.08392413214007421,0.06094869534163455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837813788042452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05632014174152033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750783184967439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08003386266111273,0.0,0.09931811753227886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879777750150642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12445236593926767,0.0,0.07020846106162906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137660323901492,0.06610060077877714,0.0706621716429393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207526014678946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979412166915709,0.0,0.1010445371699779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0956254961726164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05185412270216636,0.06978226686003593,0.2115586080418968,0.0,0.0,0.08149742238678959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474623290441152,0.0,0.12800529215129766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11322783350287095
bipolarreddit,queen-serene,2018/04/03,"I'm not sure if I should go to the hospital Sorry in advance if this is kind of disjointed, I admit I'm kind of having a hard time stringing a coherent sentence together right now.  I'm trying to determine if I should go ahead and go to the hospital or wait until my psychiatrist appointment on the 19th.  When I went on the last day of February, they RX'd 25mg of Seroquel.  I felt it was kind of low, considering I was reporting hearing noises that weren't there (children laughing, lots of random noises, turning to see things and they aren't there).  My psychiatrist said maybe I was misinterpreting geese or other random noises, but geese don't sound like young kids laughing imho.  I'm mostly not wanting/able to leave the house becaue I frequently feel like I'm being watched/people are video taping me outside.  Since then I've also had two major episodes of dissociation that felt very extreme.  I feel very anxious when I go places because I feel like I'm being watched, but she said maybe it's just anxiety.  :/  I feel horrible most days, and I can't sleep a lot of the time (one night I got 3 hours).  Today I actually feel much better (still awful, but in comparison it feels so much less worse).  I don't feel suicidal, but I'm at a loss for not being able to leave the house for months.  I can't live forever like this, and if it's 60 days between appointments and they give me medicine that wont' work every time, I dunno what to do.

I'm just not sure about the hospital, I feel like I'm being dramatic and I'm not sick enough.  Like, today I don't feel as bad as I did Saturday, so what if I'm getting better? (even though I'm 90% not)",4.198549407114626,5.175377524242428,5.4886824769433495,81.26650197628459,70.72727272727273,8.769433465085639,27.98418972332016,9.085049710711278,2.172229249011857,1293,45,261,25,23,433,168,330,0.156,0.768,0.076,-0.9678,1,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,0,0,3,6,14,18,0,0,12,1,23,2,1,0,2,49,61,27,1,7,19,0,12,6,0,3,1,4,0,2,13,6,0,1,12,1,0,6,14,3,0,2,12,18,29,15,28,42,9,36,0,2,2,0,11,8,0,14,28,152,42,2,0.08944047311184854,0.0,0.08728099981380831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152551403359238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06842171712122375,0.10104227639787927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467905911733583,0.05452208225252507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15820566032895533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17304511779424428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09241591767005657,0.0,0.059074588957184176,0.0,0.07535745613270656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40701411531788656,0.19168887558646844,0.1717537606531187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046728955681548515,0.08579945171310184,0.2033243281039009,0.0,0.0715337168902582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801210960089248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10080591353264064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08808084960385015,0.20640459492657254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27941546782550714,0.0,0.07290592304708289,0.0,0.18940909368124945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621765840978833,0.0,0.0789775763831912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207818363621545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17970995371503848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139053232599027,0.0,0.13149807777988615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393382515165865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06060717931822629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062006762449943416,0.0,0.09344625796756788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638167534307623,0.17015674318324428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127247717305286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07398608361046778,0.0,0.0895050659518736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012128704932874,0.0,0.0,0.07142727736209133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783336080815527,0.0,0.16859317484679262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05942027609071695,0.0,0.08787481071830547,0.0,0.15646037739825205,0.0,0.16955822102002227,0.0,0.0,0.06072421021609691,0.09728555126729607,0.08737034602123503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14759551456275422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08291221464043955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651137296563193,0.0,0.09114748321436192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwaway---890,2018/04/03,"Could I have Bipolar? I recently went to a psychologist after an ""intervention"" from my family because I had textbook severe depression for a couple months. The psychologist said I had a lot of red flags for bipolar 1. I was sleeping 14 hours a day and taking NyQuil without my parents knowing to stop suicidal thoughts. I would rather be asleep than deal with thoughts. I was skipping school, practice, and extracurriculars and then failing tests. When I wasn't asleep I was in bed in a dark room just staring at the ceiling. To be all honest though it started before the depression. 6 months ago I was extremely paranoid. I was staying up all hours of the night checking corners and simulating what I would do if someone came into my house to attack me. It got really bad because I was sleep deprived and it devolved from just being paranoid of strangers to my close friends, watching their every move to see if they were out to get me like my thoughts were making me believe. Out of nowhere I started dissociating soon there would be 10 minute chunks of time where my brain would just disappear and I didn't know where it went. After this, I started to get paranoid delusions where I would believe the alien gods that live in a black hole were going to abduct me because I knew about them. I had a panic attack during my lunch period. At this point I had no idea what was going on I thought I was going crazy but because I even had that thought I knew I wasn't. Now this is where things went really downhill. I woke up one day with the best mood I've ever had. When I was at school, everybody thought I was high just because of the way I was acting. I was all spaced out and I talked over everyone.  Nothing I said made any sense. No one really thought anything of it though because everybody assumes I smoke weed because of my personality. I was functioning on 120% with less than 2 hours of sleep per night. All of my inhibitions left me at this stage. I started smoking on school property and also selling weed on school property. This is not something I would ever do because I'm a straight A student and I'm top of my class so this has especially a lot of risk. I was also very close to doing cocaine. This lasted for a week and a half. After all of this I came down really hard, and this is when my depression started as I explained above. I told all of this to my psychologist and she recommended me to see a psychiatrist as soon as possible because my manic like periods are dangerous. The thing is is I don't was to go to a psychiatrist because then it is more real and I might be too young to even get a mood disorder diagnosis. Oh yeah I forgot to mention I'm 15. I wanted to post this because I am so lost as to what to do. My mother is very concerned because of my depression symptoms and she is pressuring me to go. I'm conflicted. Should I go to the psychiatrist if so should I go asap or should I wait a couple of years?",4.151704545454546,5.703454347222222,5.166843434343439,81.3352272727273,71.5,8.083585858585861,30.62563131313132,8.643655677312706,2.4277409722222223,2328,101,447,41,44,764,251,576,0.123,0.833,0.044,-0.9892,1,0,3,0,0,0,44.0,0,0,3,4,29,21,3,3,26,1,60,10,6,2,8,80,110,35,1,15,12,2,1,2,1,10,3,2,2,1,24,25,1,4,14,0,2,15,8,14,0,3,49,9,75,5,75,45,11,89,0,7,6,0,16,33,0,8,39,326,99,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05144267939407853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281780547924563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03946437357773505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0477561459469123,0.0,0.0,0.13204164193001894,0.0,0.0,0.04845506163905737,0.4245159305638729,0.0,0.04938173802094459,0.13076644916252722,0.06090196602068655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064783927984055,0.0,0.13274839375192346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04633456202453369,0.1284246376621903,0.0,0.07485286101318503,0.05982938918623629,0.19993466542256874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06651075059154124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076660388683388,0.10498819170540874,0.048895235492130325,0.055452939117343135,0.0,0.0,0.0547082693283699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04483608769939245,0.0,0.09095941170016404,0.0,0.2308701086090405,0.0,0.04641422511419552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05198609478463638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061314963014215275,0.0,0.0,0.17145220014365498,0.06696219454263351,0.0,0.06551209947586267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06378674695709949,0.047304572886332885,0.0,0.0,0.06305293409730474,0.0,0.0,0.05670390375799213,0.0,0.05124412890283096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06334978422151838,0.09867502147383232,0.0,0.05491214922066802,0.038737422714992274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061563754046548874,0.0,0.0,0.09264264132909936,0.061679806608117976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10891992265021386,0.0,0.055684148995655235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864921289433689,0.0,0.0,0.06808912418178675,0.06443868657002713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05067210467017538,0.0,0.0,0.05485986443953148,0.06542339428532586,0.05557949268384073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06605416454199371,0.14870949053239232,0.0,0.0573005043713093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11040518689838973,0.0,0.0,0.23492964084032494,0.09248944256682247,0.0,0.0,0.06556067777068933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17422448296616885,0.0,0.04917110223049971,0.04467657472053258,0.0,0.0,0.2053799866497788,0.061855367971956086,0.0,0.048518117134603134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347859204903733,0.0,0.0,0.06031842114593215,0.043633531280916016,0.04664466041811804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710898274874281,0.0,0.11403409256096407,0.32250157617888064,0.033839460577521636,0.0,0.0,0.055452939117343135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576646840916683,0.03422931801394273,0.04606382828623568,0.04655050550719029,0.0,0.0,0.1613912863331979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05594166105615301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473495150474844,0.0,0.0,0.03737129584913032
bipolarreddit,wanttoquityesterday,2018/04/04,"Actually losing my mind + new meds **Trigger Warning:** Talk of suicide. Sorry I can't edit the title. 

Bipolar II here with several anxiety disorders and PPD/PPA for funzies. 

I've been actively suicidal (but not attempting) and somewhat paranoid lately. The only reason I don't kill myself is because of my 10-month-old son and a volunteer project I don't want to leave unfinished. 

I should add that I am traditionally very high functioning -- successful career, marriage, healthy baby -- but life circumstances have taken a flamethrower to my world and burned it down to ashes as of late. On a scale of 1-10, my level of stress is at a 13.

I came into my psychiatrist's office sobbing Tuesday morning. I didn't tell her everything, but I told her as much as I could without her being legally obligated to commit me. My doctor doubled my Lamictal dose, added Seroquel for sleep (because I was worried about developing a physical dependency on Klonopin), and added Gabapentin as a spot treatment for anxiety. 

Last night I took the Seroquel as directed. I woke up this morning and my first thoughts upon waking were that I wanted to kill myself and that I was half hoping that my baby had died in his sleep (in some way that wasn't my fault) so that I could be free of the responsibility of being a mother. I'm sure if I walked into his room and he was actually dead, I would lose my goddamn fucking mind. It would be the literal end of me. I have really intense OCD about his safety and intense fears around him dying as a younger infant used to keep me from sleeping. So that was a super strange and disturbing mismatch of thoughts.

With that great start to the day, I quickly downed the double dose of Lamictal, as directed, and tried to get on with things. I walked back in the kitchen to my breakfast and half of it was gone and I had no recollection of eating it. I walked around the house for awhile wondering if I had put the pastry down for a minute and forgotten about it. Nope. I did not find the pastry in another room. 

Almost the exact same thing happened yesterday with a donut. I ate half of a donut on the way to the doctor's office. I thought I had a whole second donut in my bag. When I looked in my bag after the appointment, there was only half of a donut left. I thought maybe a homeless person in the grocery store ate half of it and put it back in the pastry case and I didn't notice when I purchased it (it was a sketchy grocery store; it could happen, though unlikely). I told myself that was insane and that surely I ate half of the second donut and forgot about it. I tried to tell myself I was being nuts and eat the rest of the damn donut, but I ended up spitting it out because I pictured another person's mouth on it. 

Can stress really cause memory problems like this or am I straight up losing it? Why the fuck do I keep having memory problems only around my breakfast? I am not eating very much at all, so maybe it's first thing in the morning blood sugar thing.

Around noon, with the new drugs in my system, instead of wanting to kill myself, I just don't see the point of anything. I had a job interview today that went fine. But all professional jobs just seem stupid to me all of a sudden -- like we are all working on gibberish and acting like it matters. Who the hell cares if we make a new brochure and more people buy a product? I feel like a 15-year-old who just watched Fight Club for the first time and realized capitalism is meaningless. 

I had some other projects I was working on, and I just don't understand the point now. Why would I spend time refinishing a dresser? Seriously, why? I can't think of anything more stupid.

I also had the thought this morning that I feel like I'm on life support but instead of a breathing machine, it's a bunch of pills.

Right now I'm thinking about leaving everything right where it is, telling my husband he needs to pickup the kid from daycare tonight, and just bailing and going to another country until my money runs out. That would fuck up my life and relationships irreversibly. So I might as well kill myself if I'm going that route. Or not. No idea. 

I guess I wanted to write because 

1) I would never, ever admit this stuff in real life because it makes me sound like a horrible person who hates my baby and I would never tell another living soul how bad off I really am. 

2) can Seroquel make me even more insane? Because that's how I feel. I'm thinking maybe I should just up the Lamictal and see what that does before proceeding with the onslaught of new drugs.

**Edited to add:** I am following doctor's orders on the meds. My doctor suggested adding new ones and upping the existing one. I just worry that they are going to make things worse while we sort out the cocktail and I may not have the capacity for things to get worse right now.",4.081535862785863,5.812885255341879,4.975451605451607,81.91969854469856,71.98076923076924,7.7090321090321074,28.35377685377685,8.358175599149588,2.071104054054054,3813,147,712,62,74,1240,389,936,0.151,0.75,0.099,-0.995,3,0,3,0,1,5,110.0,3,0,1,11,40,43,13,4,60,0,65,35,8,11,11,153,129,62,9,23,25,3,3,6,0,10,14,1,4,5,52,51,11,3,20,2,7,15,20,26,1,13,40,9,105,18,116,71,18,113,2,4,4,3,38,55,6,18,45,513,157,17,0.0,0.0,0.09084899875364584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046611473725888614,0.0,0.0,0.0372247187197304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19524011952097808,0.07121875902806689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766106929950937,0.16575169053564182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07158565432613803,0.03886594884996345,0.17025274434890894,0.0,0.03960923872806087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05323894044248122,0.04745917066242749,0.047818003528854784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149526943410687,0.0,0.0,0.03001985106409275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966197285477092,0.0,0.053348470583305725,0.1905769371985564,0.040734796700844685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796267388215658,0.1428918255094358,0.0,0.0,0.08245608803071504,0.0,0.0,0.03074476272036413,0.04210567018847314,0.0,0.0,0.08366935609860543,0.0,0.0,0.052379863163504285,0.07060877116079392,0.06650833689039898,0.0,0.0,0.04254437151188114,0.11878207214582916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12909966802328268,0.048639209513277666,0.0,0.07936354276661899,0.0,0.0,0.051319747836211516,0.0512782830411569,0.0,0.08232514867816587,0.0,0.0,0.04595688343401054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049180913936285535,0.0,0.04623303944406338,0.0,0.053710575117244336,0.0,0.05254744955747266,0.0,0.0,0.09238415943415153,0.08274866904774779,0.20599552116290976,0.0,0.0,0.037943138404505146,0.10501718914920376,0.09857601627207,0.05057494570372475,0.0,0.1315139756215457,0.13644710883671338,0.0,0.041103067985636066,0.0,0.03908891154436876,0.1562271752439636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428560723214392,0.0,0.14029229783031494,0.0,0.10340950222808734,0.0,0.0,0.0493804699622181,0.09400117872528417,0.0,0.03715446887719955,0.0,0.06843682319070837,0.034515030296259665,0.07180195292844394,0.22478355348150691,0.0,0.0436824967224161,0.0,0.0,0.05299563352880148,0.097689378696435,0.0,0.06308476724704562,0.10620641035461964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032270782281078506,0.12193273694921312,0.0,0.0,0.0880065203963793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08908101687820504,0.0,0.09358794736982896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05298224155692436,0.08946024301221776,0.047859482184801114,0.0,0.049975534573675484,0.0,0.11925617390120732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741860565721836,0.042375892421871175,0.0,0.052586414352028384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13974597522576127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052107094910471344,0.03294717945215584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10664201272628232,0.0,0.05328675284499136,0.1018327344219875,0.05282254439731792,0.087742585237356,0.0,0.0,0.03741382065384073,0.1627413260279754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18554803221855853,0.08947895759644292,0.045733542159545656,0.18477105147695425,0.05428546366170287,0.0,0.044122416800275316,0.08895793431733308,0.0517169574308777,0.06320658230321441,0.0,0.0,0.04845850005630644,0.0,0.04020285062820315,0.0,0.07681456873294211,0.10982175055385283,0.07389586695162705,0.0,0.0,0.04185257941597716,0.043150810030819726,0.1260080050709841,0.05196959841857382,0.0,0.044870972477267325,0.050479727134152885,0.06777554286742163,0.09454426877500154,0.09487354185451803,0.19839978063612285,0.0,0.0,0.029975627391594963
bipolarreddit,thesquareunicorn,2018/04/04,"Relapse/Breakthrough Symptoms: What to do? I've been really stable for maybe two years. My treatment plan was on-point. I made a lot of improvements and changes. Then, last month I decided to sign up for a volunteer effort that lasted the whole month. It took a lot of time and energy, as well as being a deviation from my normal routine.

So after it was over, I took a week to recoup. Five days in - on a Sunday - I fell apart in the middle of the day with a full blown panic attack and couldn't stop crying for the rest of the day. Ever since that day I've been tired, irritable, and sad. Little things set me off (like a delay in traffic) and I get so upset over it that I just start sobbing.

I really, really don't want this to be an episode of depression. I don't want to jump the gun and call my doctor and she changes my meds, but I can't afford to isolate myself for weeks hoping to recover. If you've had a similar experience, what have you done to cope? Do you have a plan of action that helps you discern what to do? I'll appreciate any input. I just feel so screwed up right now.",2.6328749377179856,4.117504995515699,4.375298953662185,85.75982934728452,75.27802690582959,7.4667663178873935,22.70279023418037,8.167268648758528,1.1387989038365722,846,23,178,14,18,286,131,223,0.131,0.769,0.101,-0.6864,1,0,0,1,0,0,31.0,0,3,0,3,8,10,2,2,17,0,17,4,0,1,1,27,26,15,0,6,4,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,12,8,0,2,3,0,0,5,4,7,1,2,9,1,20,3,33,14,5,40,0,3,0,1,6,14,2,4,21,124,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835416376491871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478096292583192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13266901526076072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748890492519783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427176560395528,0.33516619374203765,0.0,0.11190510940351096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13298480920067213,0.0,0.13295945010020746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175255431972163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270925997146184,0.0,0.0,0.0656945105652461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06788099433097347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08708668708240813,0.0,0.0,0.12904587553173227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118141300986774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347530119634756,0.1302200266604802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22091694904602646,0.0,0.12293916221348032,0.0,0.0,0.13052817221600044,0.0,0.1443185426892551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20741145396575808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729993503473666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15244021590048873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12282210529109305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24970184793410896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095612977717197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747616437994116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09196232109828324,0.0,0.0,0.10862398863198328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13504290520338444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631708895757573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757609198000718,0.14933087213444424,0.0,0.0,0.28870522603557297,0.0,0.0,0.12691886382781906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15326749142024262,0.0,0.20843766739743555,0.0,0.1168191150514903,0.0,0.0,0.14505778572207936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836681111143787
bipolarreddit,Pwngwn,2018/04/04,"Reflecting on bipolar and relationships Hi everyone.

I recently started dating someone who was diagnosed BP I and is medicated. I'm new to this sub, so instead of asking something that has already been asked, I searched through some of the older posts about BP and romantic relationships. Some of them are uplifting, and others are absolutely heartbreaking. What I read has given me a somewhat clearer perspective, but it could always be better.

I have been around bipolar most of my existence--one of my very best friends has been in my life for 25 years and is BP II. I recognize the difference between the two, that BP affects different people differently, and that all relationships have some common facets regardless of their nature.

But I am curious. Is there anything you wish you would have known going into a friendship or romantic relationship? Anything you wish your friend or partner would have known? I'm lookong for perspectives from either side of the coin. I want to understand more thoroughly so I can be a better partner and friend.

Thanks for reading. :)",6.337177419354839,9.06174619892473,6.326545698924733,70.40981854838712,68.19354838709678,10.026344086021506,36.35618279569893,10.270032843473604,4.591656989247311,867,46,130,25,16,274,119,186,0.01,0.728,0.262,0.9953,2,0,1,0,0,0,23.0,0,4,2,3,6,8,0,0,7,0,23,5,0,1,1,32,35,13,0,7,5,0,0,0,5,2,5,0,0,2,8,9,0,0,4,2,1,1,0,1,0,1,5,0,19,7,20,25,9,14,0,1,0,0,19,5,0,7,7,102,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13009655269565573,0.0,0.0980954366676686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19402984231083245,0.10494871251015876,0.22042587115266785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237201896123436,0.20853146523498914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412702370450636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11965771363627448,0.0,0.3695155733527928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11265068421320068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732487783609633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700063697036072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08327047750747202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876360375647813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11386065242583968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173134261617848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290777330680862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23584744234046104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11640394767047935,0.5062867708741812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988935479256923,0.09075888114641224,0.0,0.0,0.08344443554502112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853894672150297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516317580554705,0.12272954018503335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09727309645522893,0.06953564871038401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27113954505373483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16749393000876955,0.0,0.0,0.07591846553759694
bipolarreddit,lucky_aces_,2018/04/04,"Post Manic Decisions - How to Love Yourself After Mania Man, this month has been really rough will self realizations. I don't know if any of you can relate. After being super manic for a few months and then having some mixed episodes it left me in the worst depression I've ever experienced this month. I've been spending a lot of time in bed and not leaving the house, sleeping a lot, suicidal (but not acting on it) basically depressed AF. 

Anyway, my mind recently started having flash backs to stupid decisions and things I've don't while I've been manic. This isn't just the most recent manic episode - it's flashbacks from my entire life. I did some not so great things, made some not so great choices and went through some traumatic shit. I keep trying to meditate or do breathing exercises to let the thoughts pass. Anyway it's not going well- it's pretty much been mental torture. Physically, it makes me cry out of nowhere, have panic attacks, crazy sleep patterns, throw up and some other fun stuff.

Recently I've been feeling like a prisoner of my own mind just sitting here with my thoughts rotting my mind. It feels like my mind is trying to torture me and my body is trying everything it can do to survive. I'm stuck in mental illness purgatory. 

I've been trying to hang in there. Any healthy suggestions to try to make peace with the fucked things I've done while manic? I'm always too hard on myself but some days my brain feels like it's taking over my body and I'm not driving this human vehicle anymore. The thoughts and visualizations of the past have just been haunting me. 

",5.6346817538896765,6.929350610561055,5.809420084865633,79.11079207920794,67.64686468646865,8.41169259783121,30.270155586987272,8.704169506293173,2.3979521923620943,1277,48,229,20,21,405,166,303,0.14300000000000002,0.778,0.079,-0.9446,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,0,2,14,19,6,1,11,0,26,12,7,4,1,52,47,18,1,1,13,0,5,3,0,1,3,0,1,3,18,11,0,1,9,1,1,7,9,10,1,0,15,6,18,9,30,29,13,36,0,2,0,2,6,10,2,11,20,151,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0758431011253856,0.0,0.0,0.12396861556887075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039511450183706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10369491558799283,0.0,0.07008779883855383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024915315333174,0.0,0.101752202495718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10012267380817264,0.0587834337018901,0.0,0.1570126510930148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932768658168525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244930551831715,0.0,0.0,0.08191866169824465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13826271187824427,0.1953501569947526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08426559434489107,0.0,0.0,0.051801962026263616,0.0,0.0,0.20098374159730886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08165141892584599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517347420392137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810172390679536,0.0,0.0,0.050092995245050426,0.0,0.0,0.09651341548554064,0.0990334349562318,0.09320582075167752,0.06438109111797123,0.13359209476077935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15498289589272685,0.08226534824324784,0.08624719588401167,0.12168505994969167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18371309849011794,0.0,0.3681372066570085,0.0,0.2182623011661972,0.0,0.06700485372512224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694347451742152,0.0,0.0,0.08701184071721488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08729535195160387,0.09273109543074504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05839225354400904,0.0,0.26999532316092034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508807439026122,0.0,0.09356293057747904,0.0,0.0,0.18242924772791014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06451558786401362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10434356574137847,0.0997019901897037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853255195627786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18166563230358648,0.0,0.0,0.21708589089268984,0.0531495967005477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094202509875404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195371529657307,0.08449584827099822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,johnnyfairplayccc,2018/04/04,"Bipolar Jokes/ Memes Bipolar sub,

How do you feel when you see a meme or a joke with bipolar disorder being the butt of the joke? 
I saw one today and it made me sick to my stomach. Some people think it’s better to laugh about bad situations... but I don’t think I’m that type of person. 
I saw one today that said Missing Person: Mother Nature and she’s bipolar and off her meds. What made it worse was all of the hateful comments under it about people with mental illness and bipolar. 

How do you feel about it?

(Open discussion)
",2.4357142857142877,4.620770904761908,3.5640476190476207,88.2117857142857,78.04761904761905,5.342857142857143,22.880952380952376,6.2581,0.5478380952380952,415,13,80,3,10,134,66,105,0.188,0.747,0.065,-0.9429,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,3,0,1,6,8,1,0,5,0,5,9,2,4,1,19,18,9,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,7,1,0,2,8,7,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,3,0,2,6,6,10,5,12,11,2,6,0,1,3,1,11,3,1,2,3,53,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16217225919003286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17177887385998006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22260210427966529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964150158275588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191759929510469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3675664417654087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21574351192073665,0.0,0.1957361315506511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632278260959117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26930646610765063,0.3391847792286089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.184755296763234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15477456167549494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218320399197683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24890690750751174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3682108490929914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979349157189275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,le-revenant,2018/04/04,"Birth Control and Mania? Hello! I'm curious to find out if anyone here has experienced heightened manic/hypomanic reactions to birth control pills? My former psychiatrist (*former* for MANY reasons) took me off BC because she was afraid that it was triggering my manic episode at the time (despite me desperately needing BC due to hormone deficiency). I've just recently started to take BC again after talking with my OBGYN who said he's never heard of that happening before, but I'm rightfully concerned now. So who's right?",8.046014492753624,9.495857369565217,8.474782608695655,61.612971014492786,62.26086956521739,10.915942028985507,40.333333333333336,10.864195022040775,5.147755072463768,426,23,59,11,6,141,73,92,0.03,0.951,0.019,-0.2458,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,1,1,0,3,1,0,4,1,13,12,4,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,5,3,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,5,3,6,0,11,7,0,18,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,1,12,35,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15815186122825564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13787857673863174,0.0,0.19246440281750646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5073651655588174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20672644360820328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20001218258684425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293132616853253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677112438288705,0.17444566514369128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325529839412741,0.22332764695905305,0.0,0.0,0.386316745440435,0.21515107827251095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16009293340162195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17006087426972766,0.18179669391528527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13188866639235944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512967592184667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,kkrissie,2018/04/04,"When you finally convince yourself to take medication... ...and you don’t drink often so you decide to get all your drinking out beforehand. Then you remember how nice it feels to be tipsy and you start to think maybe you don’t need your medication after all.

An endless cycle. ",3.137647058823532,6.0824026666666695,4.383823529411767,78.77220588235295,81.15686274509805,7.321568627450981,26.14705882352941,8.344100000000001,2.3597294117647065,220,9,37,5,6,72,37,51,0.0,0.907,0.093,0.5859,0,0,2,0,0,0,9.0,0,8,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,3,4,0,1,2,12,9,6,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,8,2,6,8,2,6,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,1,5,28,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5246441486164127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539741734877106,0.0,0.0,0.2933394752117414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399037947067465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690206115737712,0.0,0.0,0.5395195730753815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985551887535044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3033420990838705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18953578713002936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20133694211144498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17158236245223935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,albinocobra,2018/04/04,"Near death experience that wasn’t real So I’m bipolar (if that wasn’t obvious from the get-go) and I was coming home from a trip with my Mom on a plane. I had a really amazing weekend and I was feeling happy but not manic but then I started getting very sad for no reason on the way home (just assumed it was another mood swing). Then, I had an extremely bad delusion where I was convinced that the plane was going to crash and we were all going to die. I was laying my head on my Mom’s shoulder, I told her I loved her, and I just silently cried while thinking about how this is the calm before the storm. In my head I was telling myself, I can’t believe we’re all about to die and I’M the only one who knows. I actually accepted death, and embraced it (not in a suicidal way) in a way that I had never ever done before and it was like I finally felt at peace. I had emotions that I had never come close to. When we experienced turbulence I closed my eyes and thought “this is it, this is when it happens” and waited for the screaming and the overhead announcements. I thought of the baby crying and how it never got to experience it’s life and how my mom would never finish her book, how my sister would react when she found out her closest family had died. After we landed safely I felt a weird mix of disappointment and relief. I didn’t want to die- but I had expected it to happen so much it felt wrong that it didn’t. After that I got that post-delusion state where everything kind of feels like a dream for awhile. But now I feel like I had a near-death experience that wasn’t real and I’m not sure how to move on from it. I feel like I should’ve gone down with that plane and now life just seems a little off. ",2.7674828973843084,4.159296298591553,4.24591046277666,87.20343309859156,74.74647887323944,7.0995975855130755,23.664486921529175,7.7094869923839395,1.0164346076458757,1346,39,286,18,28,448,167,355,0.191,0.6809999999999999,0.128,-0.9858,0,0,0,0,0,1,31.0,3,0,0,0,20,21,0,0,19,0,29,8,4,7,9,75,60,33,7,5,11,4,7,4,0,2,3,1,2,0,25,25,0,2,16,3,0,7,14,6,0,1,33,10,43,14,35,25,3,49,0,2,1,1,16,19,0,3,23,204,68,1,0.0,0.0,0.08162945276470038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771337236984443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06984350250037365,0.0,0.0,0.14235844208104634,0.09424388815229694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14411258163112467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18376921178681366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3472582274246314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560206922734105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09409397597903067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566539781239118,0.0,0.0,0.07517841522969916,0.2454746054722861,0.07885692467156359,0.0,0.16918198855437988,0.17927679619371914,0.2409487549804971,0.09163349772393403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171691798445583,0.0,0.0,0.08740640205057032,0.0,0.1426191296411403,0.0,0.133803649738966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794124156710295,0.08904601988147877,0.0,0.0,0.17169621387823947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16781373051757614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710766291726364,0.04597135644749483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181676629151194,0.16346689530201633,0.08383837123706057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549657649472089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2939064364925505,0.0,0.08890575269817066,0.06149171155051274,0.0,0.258061363598702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05668279341337455,0.06361890812438477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801127127883857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19042197245416934,0.05358775390276487,0.08600520410667621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07615099684682748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05920726184584248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09149853601514038,0.0,0.07883828457490863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07311299831651807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053598964162206185,0.0,0.13281607965518086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993029749390218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06901926599135906,0.04933840505871662,0.1991902804738072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884383790058653,0.09145715680891456,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,MollySPrentiss,2018/04/04,"My therapist thinks I may be bipolar. So, I just saw a new therapist and I was describing the symptoms I experience. Back when I wasn't on medications, I used to have huge highs and devastating lows. During my highs, I was more confident than usual, my mood was highly elevated, I was more energetic and I would be excessively talkative. Every time that happened, though, I would experience a crash. I would become desperately depressed, with suicidal ideation, worthlessness, etc. With each crash worse than the last. This cycle probably occurred 20 times in a span of about a year. After telling him this, he said that it sounds a lot like bipolar. He's a therapist, not a doctor, so obviously, no diagnosis. My doctor put me on Latuda along with my Zoloft and Wellbutrin. One thing I noticed about my high periods, is that sometimes, I would get a little giddy in the day prior to the high. I also noticed that I still needed a full night's sleep. I just sleep more when in a depression. I've wanted to stop my Zoloft, because my depression persists when I'm on it and I really miss the highs I used to have.  ",4.5466374434389145,6.572491995192308,5.747149321266972,75.65079185520366,71.35576923076924,9.317194570135744,29.542986425339365,9.773937934552695,3.086991176470588,877,36,157,23,17,292,118,208,0.195,0.75,0.055,-0.9805,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,1,13,8,0,0,15,0,15,10,2,2,1,26,26,12,1,6,3,0,0,1,0,5,8,2,0,0,9,10,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,6,0,1,7,3,28,1,20,12,7,35,0,6,1,0,5,17,0,2,18,113,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07456829138214771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169993641542048,0.0,0.05684151412401275,0.10298218895199047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060135551815719876,0.0,0.24093631030668955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908811815441186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399323959040496,0.0,0.0,0.07856324869027785,0.0,0.0,0.18242373504805884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04871685901633172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08245657570890258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5911131388451489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07600742457727805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0455549794147706,0.09345636053870976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07927388193901748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939349037428124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914026283376537,0.0,0.09005696263348416,0.0,0.08750446627741308,0.0,0.0,0.21232095117820712,0.0,0.0,0.06318547819354398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053428347311427,0.0,0.0,0.09373735476517596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05973537385447938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886977030347961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18662542809389845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222205852460877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07446587561004347,0.07795730737493542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019953041121948,0.0,0.0,0.09691764593005164,0.0,0.0,0.08150056626713349,0.0,0.0,0.3247951960497202,0.06194808274232413,0.05974787016175041,0.09161310588716884,0.0,0.10874425412367944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106812801504627,0.10269660514173126,0.0,0.0549985371081976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950250016223,0.2649553515593942,0.0,0.0,0.06004696326998413
bipolarreddit,Llama123454321,2018/04/05,"Looking for someone to discuss my experience Hi all!

The past few months I've suspected more and more that I may have a mood disorder, specifically bipolar or cyclothymia.  I've noticed mood patterns in myself and also my mother (strengthening my suspicion).  I was just wondering if I could have a private conversation with anyone here and see if they have any insight.  Obviously this is no replacement for a professional diagnosis or therapy.  I'm just very curious about my situation and I don't see myself reaching out to a professional on my own will, so I thought an external opinion may spark me to do so.  Thank you immensely in advance if you take the time to help me out.",6.087724444444448,7.752101008000004,7.385066666666669,66.8529777777778,66.92,11.315555555555555,38.68888888888889,11.20814326018867,5.095782222222222,546,31,90,18,9,186,84,125,0.068,0.845,0.087,0.5162,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,1,1,7,3,0,0,7,0,11,1,0,0,2,24,19,12,0,4,7,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,3,17,1,13,13,5,9,0,0,3,0,8,5,0,9,3,71,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855905571612474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15781918226776384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16227246641235574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18529326647091235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659784336800984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270142040233905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555552014313938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948848271216341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852403138856984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26421930083007983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22154216188652814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3698679814477613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608623939424193,0.0,0.0,0.19663667357943795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17449176565909333,0.0,0.0,0.2136637831073454,0.2653983648582129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18424188856369592,0.13532499093662798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19148645173900875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516757951809454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Butcal,2018/04/05,"Just got diagnosed As the title says I just got diagnosed bipolar, not sure what type I am yet but it's probably type 2.
I guess I'm searching for people similar to me for some guidance, and answer to some of my questions. Even if it's just to talk and share our experiences, it would help greatly!
",4.596,5.354124600000002,5.796666666666668,80.22000000000001,69.66666666666666,9.333333333333334,31.66666666666667,9.516144504307137,2.8456666666666672,236,10,47,5,4,79,44,60,0.025,0.863,0.112,0.732,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,1,15,6,5,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,6,3,7,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,5,1,32,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4994357448535644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16250218742533648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24066705649065284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3935494321511663,0.27125176919896155,0.2710326060211936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16491044078654565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17056800074532946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2652647154000782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2756127776761325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956549690640485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318827788835105,0.0,0.0,0.19775165453338533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17477447368470606,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,catclaw88,2018/04/05,When is it ok to tell someone about a psych ward visit if at all? Whenever I meet someone new I always wonder when it’s appropriate if at all to tell them what I’m going through. Only because it is such a big life event and applies to my current position. Example I’ve been out of work now for 3 months  (this was after a psych ward visit for 2 weeks) and just help my family out and take time for myself ( time to get back to work but still nervous to). So I’m talking to this guy whenever he asks me what I’m up to or do I have any plans for the day or the next day ( you get what I mean) I only have so many things to say you know. Finally I just responded yesterday with “ yep not really much planned” and ugh I kinda just want to tell him (about the psych visit)so he can see where I’m coming from and not like I just never have anything to do. Thoughts? Anyone else with similar experience? When is it appropriate if at all to explain this to someone. I’m passed the idea that they will think I’m crazy or different or judge me I guess but still worried about it. ,3.1114854260089686,4.013723139013454,4.661768497757848,86.46422225336325,73.2152466367713,8.265582959641256,26.04512331838565,8.660442795831766,1.6291616591928246,832,27,184,15,16,280,125,223,0.07200000000000001,0.894,0.034,-0.8799,2,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,2,2,4,18,4,0,1,7,2,12,1,0,0,4,39,33,19,0,4,15,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,13,10,0,0,7,0,0,5,3,2,0,0,3,2,19,2,32,29,4,34,0,0,1,0,20,8,0,10,22,119,32,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310337257552468,0.0,0.0,0.09243601795223064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950443438047716,0.13927477652896053,0.11185754552477263,0.0,0.1270747665598689,0.0,0.0,0.10452059986220764,0.0,0.08286073112946596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11709033738632713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17532523076190934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14201631589642302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11355079124380045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296412221243478,0.12814126026380734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890299018926734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14203402631454706,0.0,0.07725127960568855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974052982592706,0.13459055181774765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911099853988548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15344669265587038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747027299853981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09601029530024614,0.06640778239404832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13781012953845467,0.0,0.14806594808750195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849680459479086,0.0,0.0999230625170788,0.0,0.10483641257461747,0.1312805593255139,0.14456146548835042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20675944687469625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707925585999009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809577179963008,0.0,0.0,0.10831738855120164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3455152439875848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21710529680057986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220128980021304,0.10925415195789144,0.3564224112834079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09030483278293183,0.08709747235497363,0.0,0.10791201851452846,0.1585219630701212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801741309334882,0.0,0.10903361621266633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740862287587508,0.1979150840534574,0.13804195517828494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,littlelunacy,2018/04/05,"tapering off of lamictal - PLEASE HELP I have been taking lamictal for a month now... started at 25 then got up to 75. was low on pills toward the end and also decided to taper off because of side effects (irritability, fatigue). I have been taking 50mg the past two days as was almost out of pills... experiencing slight withdrawal. constipation (tmi sorry), fatigue, slight nausea.... my doctor just refilled my prescription and said to take two pills for a week (50mg) then 1 pill for a week.... I told her that with all due respect, i'm pretty sure that's not safe as I am much too sensitive for that as I am ALREADY experiencing discomfort at 25mg lower. I think once I get a refill I will up the dosage a bit as I really am not feeling great. what would you recommend for someone that's been taking it for a month? this is the WORST. i'd rather deal with my moodswings than take anymore drugs. please help me :'(",5.5352850539291225,5.979500977401134,6.418787878787877,77.70272727272727,67.47457627118644,9.600205444273241,30.215202876219827,9.573946990214177,2.6098632768361583,711,25,139,14,11,236,110,177,0.132,0.74,0.128,-0.2025,1,0,1,0,0,0,35.0,0,1,0,1,5,9,0,1,10,0,13,8,0,1,2,18,26,9,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,2,8,1,0,0,7,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,8,4,15,4,28,16,4,23,0,3,0,0,7,11,0,1,12,89,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13851696588588294,0.0,0.15264999155588987,0.11062201387013072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13718564749422654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08432435083702552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15101993604824598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921105370317163,0.14261159238204968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158605702862934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604182491957702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12251883731462272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994352795079857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227143003982067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063470048323826,0.1525087106686435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854386334468932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208264998543783,0.0,0.10168806460608032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14731635323702752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13205111553028726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30368840045491924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14073078439717165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08861738994665615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158298726572415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720609693079252,0.0,0.0,0.1548484978306406,0.09791029906174308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13037387272429898,0.0,0.5200326680466031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863592821071771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13217972065822864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702555517422753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22191908715314101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982652747967674,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,serrj_ua,2018/04/05,"Paxil withdrawal induced hypomania/rapid cycle I f**ed up my life in just 2 weeks.

My brief history:

* fall 2014 was prescribed Paxil 20mg/day for mild depression, anxiety and hypochondria. 
* Tapered from 20mg to 10mg in 6 month.
* I was on 10mg since June 2015 till August 2017. So: 2 years, 10mg daily. I always took medicine before go sleep.
* I tapered from 10mg/day to 2.5mg/day in 5-7 months (August 2017 ~ March 2018)
* I stopped to take medication 2 weeks ago (20 of March).

Until this point I was TOTALLY FINE. 

Now detailed description of last 2 weeks:

* First 5 days were totally fine
* On day 6 (30 MArch) first withdrawals symptoms kicked in: shivering, cold, severe insomnia
* On day 12 (1 April) withdrawals was unbearable, experience first manic/depressive episode. Decided to reinstate on 5mg(and later 10mg)/day. I took my first half pill midday.
* Day 13 (2 April): 5mg morning, 5mg evening
* Day 14 (3 April): 5mg morning, 0mg evening
* Day 15 (4 April): 5mg morning, 5mg evening
* Day 16 (today, 5 April): 5 mg morning

The symptoms I have now are rather painful and hardly bearable. Most prominent are: RAPID cycling from depressive episodes(+moredate agitation and anxiety) to hypomanic episodes and severe insomnia. Cycles changing every few hours and quite intensive! I never had this before, never!! Now I'm totally off, confused, suicidal, haven't slept cople nights. I'm in  hypomanic episode right now so I can write this post. I took sick leave at my work, but if this will continue I will lose my job completely. I beg you for advice on how I can stabilize now, based on what I've already done. I'm not even looking to weaning off meds now, as there are a lot of life circumstances now that I responsible for. I just want to stabilize and reduce pain.
What I can do at this point? It's do hard to believe I broke my brain beyond repair so rapidly, just in 2 weeks. I was normal, happy and fully of life. Now I'm anxious, agitated and depress vegetable, lying on the coach wanting to die/suicide.
Any advice highly appreciated.

P.S. yes, I visited my GP,  he put me on a waiting list to mental illness clinic (waiting time ~4 weeks) and advised to continue Paroxetine 10mg/day for 2 weeks and then increase to 20mg/day if needed. But I'm scared to follow this advice",2.8153655978423733,5.5446705845070445,4.06602037758466,82.05493107581661,80.24413145539907,7.193607032264509,28.312656078313857,8.265842613841098,2.4221155329137947,1783,82,318,38,47,582,229,426,0.14,0.7929999999999999,0.066,-0.9801,1,0,0,0,0,1,111.0,0,1,0,7,22,12,0,2,4,1,20,18,3,2,5,38,38,22,1,7,9,0,2,0,0,2,14,0,0,0,10,10,1,3,2,1,0,10,4,9,0,5,12,4,29,3,47,24,7,89,0,5,1,0,5,24,0,5,54,160,39,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19645058560952686,0.05940225592864015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394960903780216,0.0,0.055759503535321664,0.0,0.0,0.04557058160539605,0.0,0.10252827139365568,0.07570469123421822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11404486215229555,0.07549978122762879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480775720664345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07089000290182611,0.0,0.07026099771233295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5618250757006991,0.0,0.2308699761429137,0.0,0.06954806490391717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857672816779968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17704365642680042,0.0,0.05646065342251565,0.0,0.0,0.06555077248138201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22800211060251466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038084567243166764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07133571366854602,0.12005950481199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080204935135577,0.0,0.0,0.06599350054871728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06649925033941259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054623872206633374,0.0,0.07095622478668275,0.0,0.0,0.14199805748444588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0562733553069104,0.07496949044078319,0.0,0.05697136063277604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07443542722322526,0.06750772317739731,0.06753251787403455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697696844246876,0.0,0.0,0.049688683735426384,0.10336785162938286,0.0,0.0,0.06288639313896675,0.06565771018213677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14261137240256086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669634420413445,0.0,0.06417914633679685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06736575165068162,0.0,0.07127570409274397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05722803715377546,0.0,0.0,0.0670908844040916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15140938246843647,0.0,0.055433169313246745,0.0,0.0670605772489024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056025184635642974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14660090085901334,0.0,0.0,0.139302630902021,0.05038482098422056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03907534213593961,0.0,0.06351971286750192,0.0,0.2233589992085162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905104216484835,0.0,0.3225187810179251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048785666499923316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043153648032386506
bipolarreddit,DarkMatterConfluence,2018/04/05,"Hi I'm bp1 and this is my 1st public post. Appreciates help and support Hi friends and lovers and haters, 
I find myself here after 4 years of being diagnosed bipolar one and still needing support from literally anyone that will listen. I really appreciate that considerate feed back that I have read on this forum or sub (whatever it is I'm new). I cognitively understand what I need to do to get better and resume life after constant states of bipolar depression mixed with mdd and severe anxiety, but I have trouble starting and maintaining habits. Does anyone have any tactics for flattening out the constant flux? Also, I am wondering how I can most effectively help the community. Love and ✌",6.728284444444448,8.551760744000003,7.479466666666667,66.1761777777778,65.56,10.675555555555556,34.68888888888889,10.746095033038511,4.3720222222222205,563,26,86,16,9,187,91,125,0.08,0.6920000000000001,0.228,0.9611,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,5,9,1,0,2,0,10,7,0,2,0,22,22,13,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,1,4,1,0,0,7,11,1,0,5,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,10,6,11,20,1,13,0,1,0,2,9,2,0,3,9,58,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13878793201523154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11802000206426146,0.0,0.13276533209849992,0.0,0.0,0.242700494905186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334492948178531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534909376523154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37509195185899546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494784250116762,0.1761496725941803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15187483988091388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15862162412773442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13408435718389522,0.0,0.09067275100221732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326539135514153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12258355022801973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566357182409847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573703626521661,0.0,0.16761574357953676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11760202211063325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16621299786646582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735970397893878,0.0,0.11118062184008624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960621853173528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122839636111898,0.0,0.13859731381877533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3938851361582354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806717483082022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18820765283389068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11176055802762896
bipolarreddit,dottywine,2018/04/05,"Dealing With Friend with Bipolar? Hey guys.

A friend I’ve known for about 3 years sent me some concerning texts and I want to know from others’ experience how to tread lightly here.

I’ve known that whole time they suffered from bipolar and was not medicated. In person and in every interaction, we clicked.  I never thought about their disorder unless they were isolating themselves. In which case, I’d reach out to them with some positive message or offer that we go do something together or share how I had felt a similar way and maybe we can grow together. These times were awesome. 

But recently they sent some texts that were out of character. I asked if they were doing ok (which is often what I do when I notice something wrong) and they took offense. I asked if they had been drinking or smoking and that made it worse. This was all through text. I stopped responding only to say “I understand how you’re feeling” and that’s it. I guess they calmed down but now I’m really nervous.

I had never seen that type of behavior in my friend before. I don’t know if I should just stop talking to them for a while or what?...

Any thoughts would be great. ",3.0950909090909065,5.6151230545454585,3.4890909090909084,87.85863636363636,77.54545454545455,6.90909090909091,26.363636363636363,8.00094639256281,1.7106363636363633,912,36,176,16,22,283,135,220,0.068,0.8059999999999999,0.127,0.8994,0,0,3,0,0,0,24.0,3,0,10,0,10,11,1,1,3,1,19,4,0,4,3,53,37,22,0,6,12,0,2,0,3,2,3,1,0,2,15,15,1,2,9,1,0,5,4,4,0,0,18,6,28,7,25,16,5,24,0,1,2,0,31,7,0,12,11,123,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09762846609932753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684259840267326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122162418891747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14800821511600876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645368206992272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406380978621266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095889046000785,0.0,0.0,0.14043317297108074,0.0,0.0,0.0725902891763614,0.0,0.13784398642882392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33275164948693203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815907489222564,0.0,0.0,0.1582798542438188,0.15815196893661818,0.1421509647053297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577980770585685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358437601466391,0.0,0.0,0.14422936840987607,0.0,0.0,0.14462566049161224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22145086683213544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16344860417608706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918691705409446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535457691300605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09197079630880567,0.0,0.14175216382111389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11416788202705308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22104521446139805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24005192149058585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153913323715865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22794761337945346,0.1674266854029567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595049241126082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494552223885689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08467778683335431,0.11395444778541207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602841169261851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14630401560286094,0.10198377065723237,0.15696473405318812,0.0,0.09245053092526888
bipolarreddit,manicstrawberry,2018/04/05,"Creativity is more fleeting than it used to be? I am/was a very creative person I went to an Arts high school and ya da ya da. I created art in cycles, I could be very prolific in painting, poetry, music... etc. It didn’t always have to be a manic episode. 
Now, that I received this official diagnosis in early university and have been put through the ringer of meds it’s just not what it used to be. The lithium and the anti-psychotics really mellow me out and I notice that when the prescription for an anti-psychotic increases my creativity decreases. 
That said, I’m no longer on anti-psychs but my creativity hasn’t returned... am I just getting older? or are the medications that make my mood more stable taking this part of my personality away from me? 
TLDR; now that i’m on meds i’m less creative, is it me or is it the meds? ",3.180984320557492,5.085298335365856,5.383449477351917,77.33036585365856,74.79268292682926,8.588153310104529,26.958188153310104,9.23628265651192,2.4761285714285712,653,25,124,16,14,228,98,164,0.01,0.8690000000000001,0.121,0.9476,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,0,0,5,1,0,0,10,0,15,1,0,3,0,15,25,8,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,14,5,0,0,0,2,0,4,4,0,0,0,4,1,16,0,17,16,6,18,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,2,6,91,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395367152005326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16254349996380638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13813008139638275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929458408778321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903877537122153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18278883973232046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11548190203836975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5765072692850969,0.17428391558740725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19696686353081036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18734710337715985,0.0,0.0,0.3021218562036377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739173893232506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108311654094063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16456697534750134,0.0,0.0,0.1750898734864195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13007791514794612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988408238928331,0.0,0.2854937976838567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16037698098212744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,lowkeyted,2018/04/05,"How do you choose an ER/hospital to go to? I’m not doing great and think I may want to admit myself sometime soon. It’d make the decision easier if I knew beforehand where I was going. I live in a major American city, so there’s a few options. From people who’ve admitted themselves, what did you learn that you’d like to share?",3.3095588235294144,4.418975544117647,5.158117647058828,82.30452941176472,72.97058823529412,8.969411764705884,25.364705882352943,9.3871,2.0834788235294126,259,8,53,6,5,89,57,68,0.051,0.758,0.191,0.7241,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,3,0,0,5,3,0,0,4,0,7,0,0,2,0,15,16,4,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,7,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,0,8,3,6,10,2,5,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,3,2,35,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.456904064578069,0.0,0.0,0.4431795865345831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19638500391404726,0.0,0.354951874146266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683218758261112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27867931062561696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3975642082815765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575697731907411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370956603211243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,solliso,2018/04/05,"Akathisia on Saphris vs Vraylar Hi, during a manic episode I was prescribed Saphris and had the worst case of restless leg I have ever experienced. It was excruciating. I've been prescribed Vraylar now to start tonight and I'm freaking out that I will have the same issue with it. How common is akathisia on vraylar? Have others dealt with it? What has helped to calm it?",4.661739130434783,7.020528144927539,4.115289855072465,86.04076086956526,71.89855072463767,5.759420289855073,33.23913043478261,6.42735559955562,1.8691043478260871,298,15,54,2,6,89,49,69,0.187,0.782,0.031,-0.9107,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,1,3,0,10,1,1,1,1,9,12,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,1,3,1,8,7,2,8,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,5,38,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5350743257584015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3964912571810699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6174054530551126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4186892110276759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,geo_star_force,2018/04/05,I need some advice My boyfriend has bipolar 2. Lately I've been noticing that his episodes of depression have been getting progressively worse. He's been missing work and sleeping most of the day away lately. I tried to encourage him to go to work this morning. I even told him to take it one step at a time and I would be there encouraging him throughout. He immediately said no. I tried telling him the same thing but with a different approach and he still said no. He started to get aggravated with me so I backed off. I've noticed that he's been getting slightly aggravated with me lately when I try to be encouraging so I'll back off and let him do his own thing once I detect it. The only reason why I try to encourage him so much is because I'm so used to doing it whenever I'm dealing with my own depression. I love him so much but I don't know how to fully get through to him without seeming to aggravated him. Can someone please give me some advice on what to do. Thank you in advance,3.080402941176473,4.939087905000001,4.456235294117652,84.0678235294118,74.95,7.305882352941178,29.264705882352942,8.124751697461798,2.0199088235294123,791,35,159,13,17,262,111,200,0.125,0.75,0.126,0.2817,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,1,0,4,12,9,0,0,5,0,16,3,1,3,0,22,36,13,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,9,8,0,0,3,0,0,4,4,3,0,1,7,2,28,6,26,25,8,20,0,3,0,1,28,6,0,4,10,113,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319457457597588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150391134051056,0.18251542538575485,0.0,0.0723463202938305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653888112857994,0.12235402748638464,0.20443808537344849,0.0,0.0,0.12399550108650663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783871223796647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24802192836844195,0.11384881791420635,0.06744866647059984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652235088524976,0.0,0.4016291489715,0.0,0.0,0.12135849823238545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10711347251544992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17448713732216425,0.0879998303574059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27023628374002445,0.0,0.12639049064728036,0.08042074377779199,0.09026160500563524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1302751700472364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12202296440435675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257840077617345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804195483416568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876586333007813,0.0,0.1005573093036095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400242380372244,0.0,0.09477812424368304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923270583717399,0.0,0.10373168558505573,0.10926474056847232,0.0,0.0,0.15769164156630336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692033521642405,0.0,0.0,0.11340397301808115,0.0,0.32230413662751706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250154801542784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10709037941578946,0.0,0.0,0.1144034332891564,0.0,0.17280113108753464,0.0,0.12094521599635663,0.08430697626060693,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,NegativeGPA,2018/04/06,"Bipolar people with bipolar family members, do you guys seem to “sync up” phases with said family members? It seems like my brother, Dad, and I do

I’m trying to test it by popping in at my parents’ house when I just started a manic period of just left one to compare / contrast to my dad

My brother lives near me (same university), so our sync could be weather or “the time of the semester” or whatnot ",7.099615384615383,6.125920884615388,8.050897435897442,72.07326923076926,64.51282051282053,10.364102564102565,38.730769230769226,9.516144504307137,3.7723230769230782,311,15,56,5,4,106,57,78,0.0,0.967,0.033,0.3612,1,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,4,2,0,0,0,11,9,5,0,1,4,5,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,9,1,13,6,1,9,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,4,5,40,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971699732046116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4656061275310575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445199364557415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2849478559158973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683125680535194,0.0,0.0,0.1206475975605458,0.0,0.21806191924971632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16734012928329015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742094356611213,0.0,0.0,0.17120446391887062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2349065879901851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.449629133993694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1747929178355405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14399889075881686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16766325875079074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SnowAndTheSea,2018/04/06,"Small bursts of elevated mood while in a depressed phase? Hi there, I am new here. 

Two days ago I was told by my therapist that I could be diagnosed with a bipolar disorder and recommended meds.

I never realised that I might have something like this. If anyone would be so kind and answer my very clueless questions, that would be amazing. 

My cycles of hypomania and depression are long (?) so I tend to have a few months of depression and then one or maybe two months of hypomania. When I am in my depressed state I sometimes feel for a very short time that I will switch phases into hypomania again because I feel energised, happy and productive. It only lasts for a few hours maximum and then goes back to the depression, though. More often than not it happens in the middle of the night. Is this possible that there are smaller cycles in big cycles (I hope this is understandable as I am not an English native speaker, sorry.) or could this be a sign that I actually am not bipolar? 

And how long are cycles in general ""allowed"" to be when it stems from bipolar disorder?

If anyone takes the time and reads this: thank you so much!!!",5.017095070422535,6.683093488262916,5.723001760563379,77.74253080985915,69.51643192488262,8.893075117370893,30.21390845070423,9.354420925462401,2.7973288732394366,895,36,161,19,16,291,120,213,0.119,0.773,0.108,-0.5701,1,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,0,13,12,0,0,11,0,23,4,0,2,1,34,32,23,0,7,7,0,2,1,0,4,4,1,0,0,14,10,0,0,5,1,0,0,4,5,0,3,2,3,18,6,21,19,4,31,0,5,0,0,4,10,0,8,21,126,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.11316425390813815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10279519624438947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16216961917404246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891692508831111,0.0,0.07069065172015848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18517582879860786,0.0,0.0,0.07478726446536985,0.0,0.4993986367508068,0.1177011416206226,0.0,0.0,0.26580985827134496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726988765096028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025466890758366,0.12344596297152165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11517853771355943,0.11420129982788878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12075878680858278,0.0,0.09452623600448287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05665421186534004,0.0,0.0,0.2052491955194819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11650154601466305,0.0,0.12880999600651993,0.0,0.0,0.12301960654648125,0.0,0.0,0.18512290977439946,0.0,0.08524697181551362,0.0,0.0894386789482205,0.11199887051934727,0.0,0.10882447177742904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858028945194047,0.08819593943743398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307321223106483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990635496953906,0.0,0.11599550237169527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892748457121173,0.11469148069940542,0.1298123391509011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08719058695402566,0.0,0.0,0.10676418219266404,0.0,0.1346432822217397,0.0,0.0,0.11393415993709392,0.0,0.13523922283375567,0.0,0.0,0.11080868698980753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265601916174366,0.12072273948224052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19136508886598927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16475516853416147,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tharowawayyyy7878878,2018/04/06,"Bipolar Parents, are your kids Bipolar as well? What’s that like? I’ve always said I never wanted to have bio kids because I’m afraid of passing along my less-than-ideal illnesses to them (fibromyalgia, ADHD, & Bipolar I; it’s a tough combo to deal with). Also, I had an emotionally abusive and neglectful childhood growing up so all of my coping skills and all of the help I got, I had to do myself.

However, my Sister In Law is pregnant, and I’m so emotional and excited for her that I’m starting to reconsider. 

What is it like to parent while bipolar? How do you cope while cycling? What measures do you take to make sure you’re raising your kids in a healthy environment (i.e. not villanizing them, not losing your temper with them when you don’t deserve it, etc.)?

Also, do any Bipolar Parents have Bipolar Children? Is it easier to deal with since you’ve had it before? Was it easy to spot them developing it?

I know I have a lot of questions, I’m just so curious and don’t want to end up like my mother. I know I want kids, I just don’t want to knowingly pass along diseases I have struggled with that have nearly ruined my life on more than one occasion. I want to be better, I want them to have better. I want my kids to have an actual childhood, instead of it being anxious and filled with fear like mine was. ",3.762251908396944,5.213165034351146,5.0571679389313005,82.13773664122137,72.3206106870229,7.682748091603054,28.748854961832066,8.238735603445708,2.04295358778626,1037,41,199,16,20,345,132,262,0.08199999999999999,0.723,0.195,0.97,4,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,6,5,4,11,17,1,3,6,0,25,8,0,2,4,37,44,16,0,7,4,5,0,4,0,0,8,1,0,6,14,13,0,1,4,0,0,4,6,8,1,1,7,1,34,9,35,35,5,18,0,3,0,0,28,6,0,2,12,142,48,0,0.0,0.13844948350380867,0.11402984862485635,0.0,0.14043235276596486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18689161571165336,0.097229502378005,0.12660815244817766,0.0,0.07946277659667772,0.0,0.0,0.13200851854286685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712313653513375,0.0,0.09943170664003212,0.0,0.0,0.20669066048040585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409367718687826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628835910079648,0.10349541949093784,0.0,0.13031990012039407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13149000978473388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09345652462701276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07832285050636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19265497829188066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253541006458305,0.2283502424081525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307265270838087,0.0,0.09934265359112696,0.0,0.0,0.0779990378174695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09012279646142993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918135101545329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3892480602798367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13090001021531156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115218494904464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666046370281024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08270783249319055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12215817402219373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013080881276903,0.0,0.08785750878497971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4824527751666066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10506320071407793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cocoscoffee,2018/04/06,"My friend is bipolar and suicidal, asking for advice Hey

So a few months ago a good friend of mine, after a night of drinking told me had been planning to kill himself on April 8th but wasn't going to anymore. It is clear he was thinking about this when he was in a low state and he was definitely more manic at that point when we were talking. He has been starting to understand his own ebbs and flows.  He texted me the other day after cancelling on me telling me that he was emotionally drained after this past weekend and needed some space. I've made sure he knows I care about him and I am here for him and have tried to be respectful of his space, but also, April 8th is this weekend and I know he is in a depressive state. My only slip up was I messaged him about a possible trip together, but realized that might have been more overwhelming. I want to make sure I see him this weekend. 

It's going to be a rough weekend for me, my great aunt passed away,  so her wake and funeral is this Saturday morning. I was thinking of messaging him:

 ""Hey, I'm sorry to be messaging you so much. 

I'm going to be home this weekend and it's kind of looks to be a rough one. It would be really good to see you. I'll be around Saturday night or Sunday if you could swing it.""

Do you think this will also be overwhelming? Should I just mention I'll be around and not my personal stuff that he might feel like he has to take on? 
I don't want to just show up at his house but I'm not above it. Would love your thoughts on how you would either best approach this or how you'd feel most comfortable in his shoes. 

Thanks <3",2.942608391608392,4.371870342424248,3.877575757575759,89.86867132867134,74.36363636363636,7.379953379953381,24.813519813519807,8.012643519586192,1.2083659673659677,1263,40,275,19,26,406,162,330,0.06,0.762,0.17800000000000002,0.9931,0,0,1,0,0,0,29.0,1,7,0,2,17,20,1,2,9,0,42,5,2,4,3,54,72,26,3,9,12,1,4,1,2,7,1,0,1,1,20,13,1,0,10,7,0,7,4,5,0,1,15,7,38,15,40,39,9,49,0,4,3,1,44,18,0,7,23,189,58,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128024374438417,0.10094595795979344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18213635837379671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11293635589153045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20275109085284285,0.1064605385798934,0.0,0.10699211051946753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950791393460455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161061898274792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09092230041875336,0.0,0.0,0.07344187598709141,0.0,0.09808293700957173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115570662619804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12809739955453694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516025632773325,0.08135445141922787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759636891893879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19415844047054429,0.19103089286045827,0.0,0.1255508745939128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142288986366032,0.0,0.0,0.1313998989713252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259891120615716,0.11858639179474485,0.12516871890355946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05563502866035908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09562882200790412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10277932273155443,0.10775409780365212,0.07601443569652934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416130808515133,0.0,0.0,0.09089631690109796,0.0,0.08371341801449413,0.08443907897133374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21373353920009966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07716666619931596,0.08660933506570953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870941714241464,0.0,0.09943385935606168,0.0,0.0,0.1076514993896365,0.12838031157983762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729531497791362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18149201190616615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274770748959441,0.08060342012635509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303630416367263,0.12456402659824525,0.0,0.2146572962680834,0.0,0.08562206841091732,0.0915308064252614,0.09953437359335704,0.10484354367698012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21890523351438132,0.0,0.09040639555208307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10881528969369064,0.0,0.07731567303864717,0.0,0.0,0.11855099294321815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343363657541367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426869482835762,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,whatsausernamefor,2018/04/06,"I'm depressed Friend of mine, who I valued a lot, just cut all ties with me. Told me that I’m too needy and emotional. They’re not wrong. I’m bipolar and I had a really fucked up childhood which caused a lot of abandonment issues, something I’m in therapy for now. It does make me very emotional at times, and I do tend to be super clingy during depressive episodes. Lately I’ve been rapid cycling, which causes me to have more of them. They knew all this, and I was hoping they would understand. But, they told me that they don’t want anything to do with me, and never want to see me or talk to me again. Feels weird. Just this Monday, my therapist told me that my fear of abandonment is just that, a fear, and I need to overcome it. Told me that I need to open new pathways in my brain and know that people won’t leave me. This doesn’t help with that at all.


I started a new job this week, and it’s mind numbingly boring and insanely hard. I’m only on week one and I already hate it. I’m dreading going to work today. But I need this job. It pays well, and I have a decent amount of debt that I need to pay back.


Because of my childhood, I don’t feel like I can ever trust my parents. I’m not close to any of my family. After having so many friends walk out on me over the years, I feel like I can’t trust the friends who did stick with me. I feel like things just need to get a bit harder and they’ll leave too.


I have/had dreams about doing something in the entertainment field. But lately I don’t feel any drive or motivation to chase after that. I don’t see the point in it. I wanted fame and money because I thought I could give the people I love awesome things with it. But I don’t really love anyone anymore. I’m always paranoid and worried that everyone will leave me.


I just feel so alone all the time. I feel like no one really understands me. I feel like I can’t connect. Even with my therapist, I can’t really tell her how I feel. Because sometimes my thoughts are really fucked up and when I tell people, they freak out on me. Medication doesn’t help. I just hate waking up in the morning now. The only times I ever feel ok is when I drink or take something. I just really hate life right now. I wish there was a permanent way to just numb everything.",2.17785181236674,3.8286320703624774,3.5251807036247342,90.67229131130064,76.91044776119402,6.822196162046907,21.95954157782516,7.6454224807358475,0.7390447334754793,1767,48,388,25,40,578,204,469,0.153,0.682,0.165,0.7723,4,1,4,0,0,0,55.0,0,0,7,3,26,36,6,3,16,1,31,12,2,5,7,87,85,27,0,12,17,1,11,5,3,4,5,0,0,0,28,25,1,2,17,3,4,3,15,19,1,2,12,13,69,17,46,67,9,51,0,4,2,4,26,20,2,6,32,249,97,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664786055481145,0.07101253637712802,0.0,0.053544891240040436,0.0,0.0,0.08752128986444868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638185478021256,0.044995466855855586,0.0,0.05295509738670618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049481673486160685,0.0,0.11768266680380834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07025423711452428,0.0,0.0,0.07183660128902848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221167618836352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05137875336730774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085023161416976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05631368264633905,0.0,0.0,0.0630391330559923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447716273872137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04250299378162061,0.1164176841739793,0.0,0.06148979849844555,0.057834209915950015,0.0,0.06066406056641367,0.14482473119533598,0.3253761937570911,0.22986056641495825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491514449176612,0.1189822678008703,0.03362055577219459,0.061731001891041325,0.03657195422601976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057645537710166714,0.19059881664248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08626576109931218,0.0,0.0,0.0639147098277938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06716535402739245,0.1277161703820586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03536543129809225,0.0,0.14518065980764275,0.2044141230525864,0.0,0.0,0.04545276327938886,0.15719237211106188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10941723349264454,0.11615793814196736,0.0,0.04295455488939117,0.065241453281909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648265042945857,0.0,0.0,0.06497580663030145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23857593753401984,0.04963118412366988,0.12430050688934922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08721132423117321,0.09788312977461336,0.0,0.0,0.07145377532308696,0.0,0.0,0.13383790316705366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060832159011456416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24734802392422084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05495509879026802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10255826430828052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486208100540758,0.06364443284436255,0.0,0.045547717382426835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04838367612150645,0.05172261048362475,0.11249059931105246,0.0,0.0735905701909435,0.14943211616153618,0.08550341762060745,0.0,0.0,0.10217444737990126,0.11257013489247812,0.0,0.060996886655105824,0.2459591939937822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13398258072719715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0530960210506292,0.11386703216736875,0.0510785463218444,0.1032364108809767,0.0,0.05785895760007971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400006536471908,0.0,0.0,0.046848035602693766,0.06535120313630062,0.0,0.045712851536968746,0.0703573278186525,0.0,0.041439705234129307
bipolarreddit,tornadohuman,2018/04/06,"Bipolar and Supplements Hey y'all. I'm 28F on Wellbutrin, Lamictal, and Lithium. I low key suck at drinking water, but am getting better at it. My doctor recommended that I start taking B6 ( I chose a BComplex with high B6), and I added Spearmint and Evening Primrose for the severe cystic acne that comes with Lithium. 

I also started taking Milk Thistle, as recommended by someone who also has Bipolar, as it is supposedly good for your liver function.

I was just curious if anyone else takes supplements or what your personal experience with any has been. I know since supplements are sort of wishy washy anyway, so defnitely not a recommendation, but am interested to see what other folks might know for further research. 

Thanks!
",7.317673611111113,9.129405906250003,7.380104166666667,67.48225694444444,64.15625,9.438888888888886,37.65972222222222,9.725611199111238,4.159830555555557,588,30,86,12,9,189,95,128,0.05,0.7829999999999999,0.166,0.9505,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,3,0,1,6,6,1,0,3,0,9,7,1,0,0,18,22,13,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,8,8,3,0,2,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,2,1,11,4,14,19,0,9,0,1,1,0,6,6,1,4,2,60,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30997431814024834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13179521135441818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355141605760785,0.1985778813888289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714062888921144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1669473231891716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1983693839507382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1898567966167196,0.0,0.0,0.161900640713147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12800750668368813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18958015476822745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012560089256473,0.0,0.0,0.16255587650604522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20476743394214095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130222029310164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20559829640660926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692245470873695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154438858723249,0.0,0.0,0.21894642179755103,0.0,0.1603189164656067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16421179974473435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743547792051758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4371555878859073,0.0,0.0,0.17843118338833955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Itsokaytobewrong,2018/04/06,I’m desperate to sleep I’m so tired. It’s been more than two weeks of this madness. I actually want to sleep for a change. I’m a grown ass man crying in bed because I want nothing more from my life than to just sleep. Does anyone have any strategies or suggestions? What do you guys do in this place. I’m so miserable. It feels so bad. My whole body hurts. ,-0.22160000000000224,2.048873040000004,1.495000000000001,97.7025,91.93333333333334,5.133333333333333,18.166666666666664,6.742157984588678,-0.03953333333333342,278,8,65,4,10,90,52,75,0.321,0.649,0.03,-0.9801,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,1,0,0,4,4,1,1,2,0,4,7,5,0,0,5,11,4,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,2,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,1,1,1,5,0,10,10,3,5,0,2,0,1,4,3,1,1,1,35,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.1886411842447744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145639024647188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516577873764185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16140450018024455,0.1178390507160548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21472213486212133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204494732297481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21234028016285034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16916554711747106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09774257205233032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19140577985937432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20694071809556355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365394910584591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854846930864588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20196621033041687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5803442332152415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22217965251056845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18883428898020035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22803669126272705,0.0,0.1550603965896004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158220062939702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Im_just_here_for_pie,2018/04/06,"I have bipolar and will begin a post-doctoral fellowship researching my own disease in may! Hi! This is my first post in this sub. I’m super excited to share that I’m going to start studying the genetics of bipolar disorder in a couple of months for my post doc.  I just graduated with a PhD in biology studying DNA repair.  I’m going to be studying the exact mechanism of how lithium works to make people feel better and also why/whether there is a genetic component to why some people with bipolar attempt suicide and why others don’t.  This is all extremely personal for me since I have had bipolar I for 12 years and my wife also has bipolar disorder. Anyway, I hope some of you find this interesting/uplifting/cool. Cheers!",5.333913043478262,6.852822681159424,6.807942028985512,70.83234782608697,68.56521739130434,10.157681159420287,34.814492753623185,10.355215969177356,4.12663536231884,582,29,96,16,10,199,85,138,0.071,0.799,0.13,0.8114,0,0,0,0,0,1,14.0,0,1,0,5,6,6,0,0,6,0,11,5,0,2,2,17,21,7,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,2,5,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,1,11,6,18,17,4,13,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,4,5,67,17,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760650453556909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15265550127234265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909846566504326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3956416181979334,0.1766690005355975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08727450595295977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15775826191577866,0.14681811469270015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19619131934360048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17143616620925328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152154837486234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13777203009883468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393257835247945,0.15071242852394548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4959249496167517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427810187985578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12217103181199493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18880235642989174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114991581894153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565882939623216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111522560819217
bipolarreddit,1251TooMany,2018/04/07,"Is it possible to go manic while still on meds? I believe I was beginning to get hypomanic and the sleep problems and agitation had started again. I just got back on abilify low dose 5mg after two or three months off...
I was wondering if the meds will completely end the manic episode, or if it will just be less severe. I definetely don’t want to end up manic as I do stupid things, but at the same time I honestly miss having that energy and enthusiasm about life.  ",6.661195652173912,6.174507076086957,7.746869565217391,72.29378260869571,65.19565217391305,12.142608695652175,33.61739130434783,11.602472056035307,3.9296321739130438,369,14,72,11,5,126,67,92,0.112,0.7659999999999999,0.122,0.6119,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,6,5,1,0,4,0,10,3,1,0,0,14,18,10,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,2,4,0,7,1,11,11,2,18,0,2,0,0,0,6,0,5,11,54,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16295140004217873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387583410610226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22219136244265086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.375391832709704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071809515107696,0.0,0.12043754229684993,0.0,0.1694897041384802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14968352705843027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4707849170159485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16915044720496725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389050277985495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20277633213145455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23940634258426666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21207044463174207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499962267498446,0.0,0.1692375097199332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14078850439007395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235707403792411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20701250740729285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12499437335798035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298153809639457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,michealcera,2018/04/07,"(Brief Mention of Self Harm) How can I help my friend? I apologize if I am posting this in the wrong place, please let me know and I’ll move it!

I’ve had a friend (M) for quite a few years that suffers from bipolar disorder. M didn’t tell me about it until a good couple years into the friendship; they were in the midst of an episode, and I (not knowing what was really going on) regrettably lashed out because I didn’t understand why they had been constantly upset and irritable with me.  After that, we had a much better understanding and M did a great job of redirecting their anger so I wasn’t getting the brunt of it. However, they’ve been under quite a bit of stress lately, and although they are not usually directly lashing out at me, they’ve taken an emotional turn for the worse. M seems to be in a constant state of negativity, always turning every small difference of opinion into an argument, and going on angry rants about it. It feels like every time I talk about anything, they always have a negative rebuttal. They’ve become very reclusive, so we hardly ever go out anymore, if I suggest events or concerts or outings, they don’t want to go, and can only think about why it’d be a bad time. If something goes wrong, their night/mood is ruined (for example, if they didn’t want pickles on their sandwich and got pickles, rather than take them off, M just throws it away, doesn’t eat, and remains livid about the fact they didn’t get to eat, and eventually leaves for home early because they’re so upset). Our friend group usually gathers at my place, so at this point it’s like I’m trying to tip toe around broken glass in my own home, lest I say something to upset them.  Lastly, the most worrisome thing to me is that they will sometimes joke about how they got so angry they punched their arm/leg/bedroom wall/etc., and the damage is visible. 

They are currently on medication (from what I’ve witnessed mostly just helps more with the mania) and see a psychiatrist pretty regularly, but they don’t see a therapist (though they’ve admitted they could probably benefit from one).  I want to be a better friend to them, but I myself struggle with depression and it makes that difficult at times. 

I guess I’m asking for advice because I don’t know how to approach a conversation about this behavior. My worst fear is that M will misunderstand my intentions. They are my best friend, and I’d do anything for them, but the friendship is starting to take a mental toll on me as well. ",9.414574013321406,7.170245158663883,8.997989859827024,71.17769659011832,60.878914405010434,12.213579878715578,38.25837558405408,10.712014347399686,3.9249110448354703,1977,74,368,37,21,637,242,479,0.14400000000000002,0.7290000000000001,0.127,-0.8423,3,0,2,0,0,0,63.0,3,0,22,5,22,32,1,6,27,0,38,6,1,5,2,63,71,35,0,9,14,0,2,2,5,2,2,2,2,1,20,25,3,0,9,2,0,8,13,17,1,1,16,6,51,15,62,47,9,54,0,4,2,0,44,26,0,11,20,248,71,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07810444741882618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13301253946773225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926682557117448,0.0,0.0,0.13154741410511342,0.07115262054512113,0.0747216330402118,0.0,0.07509472831037638,0.0,0.06673631144782527,0.1461695971398682,0.0882738922052227,0.0,0.0,0.0838792158065342,0.1413791542811644,0.08726037415109354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727469508708681,0.0,0.06381578430550137,0.0884385070071781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06884163206853812,0.0,0.0,0.08350746044562529,0.0916040969913432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16357203246400745,0.0,0.08990793218405947,0.0,0.0,0.08914054085561239,0.0,0.07229920283857931,0.1346851104400349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994091139183343,0.040413859111186126,0.057100382416094386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3087598087375864,0.0,0.08351787440427245,0.0,0.18169907127434395,0.06703958323933869,0.1278510057794938,0.08812059852809921,0.08804939976520353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07159954182592905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10714773797463363,0.0,0.1603480493404876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793159336035209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13177856142921496,0.06515176335064253,0.09016195474207532,0.08463191968649111,0.0,0.08173151366041173,0.0,0.07809729785691981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05335237681154825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08051877369946621,0.08054834718341017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495052208380742,0.0587560741741567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07500675507343259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05416109472670655,0.060788636230504185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16701492089125058,0.08773663975257379,0.07555753465951573,0.0,0.07654866609169952,0.08131523044183347,0.08617560563188495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700259471951882,0.0,0.0,0.051203747037531486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06356173465646356,0.0,0.0,0.127384096438749,0.07276319858966195,0.08338204833446526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306453460656465,0.07905056336431372,0.0,0.0565732548492388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155693846814213,0.08355781190909832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019140352447545,0.06424287741556428,0.06986035424711658,0.0,0.0,0.09280224867568554,0.053100428666023616,0.05121445857602405,0.07852858359264159,0.0,0.13981949690726814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05426567840172368,0.17387682505604826,0.0,0.16641516019775066,0.0,0.0,0.17605819305996182,0.06594874349371284,0.1414303284540973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186462333858909,0.0,0.14424467895705315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08145317977187833,0.0,0.17477683914547856,0.0,0.10294166820277308
bipolarreddit,GetChemical66,2018/04/07,"So afraid I'm currently on my way to army Behavioral Health, I'm terrified I am going to be locked up again. I hate being hospitalized and locked up around other people who could be crazier than me. My career is over and that's ok, I guess?",4.999931972789113,5.187152122448982,6.192244897959185,79.75870748299323,68.59183673469389,9.798639455782316,26.537414965986393,9.725611199111238,2.1563414965986394,190,5,39,4,3,64,38,49,0.17600000000000002,0.78,0.044,-0.765,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,1,1,0,1,6,1,0,0,0,5,11,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,1,8,7,0,9,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,2,27,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35804417220392515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32112478064975786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285801038184858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4430697592085589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3970902313702636,0.0,0.4275208679381362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27883553985755083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31924844237166194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,robotundies,2018/04/07,"I feel manic but not in a good way.. I don’t feel like doing anything creative. 
I don’t feel like listening to music.
I don’t feel like exercising (though I went for a run to try) 
I don’t feel like being around people.
I don’t feel like drinking. 

I just feel like a bag of nervous shaking and it is *awful* 

On the upside, I don’t feel particularly sad or depressed! 

How do you guys deal with this? ",-0.3978896103896119,1.8141266785714296,2.278658008658009,92.32694805194807,91.73809523809523,4.4831168831168835,18.350649350649352,6.11248444174946,-0.16462857142857112,307,9,68,3,11,106,50,84,0.182,0.569,0.249,0.7505,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,4,11,0,2,4,1,10,2,0,1,0,16,20,5,0,0,4,0,8,6,0,0,1,1,0,1,2,3,1,0,8,2,0,3,7,4,0,0,1,9,10,7,8,18,0,7,0,2,0,0,4,3,0,1,6,41,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134194245220035,0.12269476113018365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14209301769345647,0.1187097191607294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13501744962084716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5575135534862189,0.5907794591943722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156022868701177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13646985423873007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4040102486200538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955515062480689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354137870393796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09357511217516773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10940022047241928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776649968868706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,VashtyGirl,2018/04/07,"Can I just enjoy my hypomania? Haven’t slept in over 30 hours, but I feel amazing. I had a really great day at work, I’ve been spending time with a pretty awesome guy, and I just had a very liberating conversation with my ex (at least at the moment...who knows if I’ll regret what I said).

For the last few months I’ve been in a pretty dark depression. I didn’t get out of bed, shower, or take care of myself at all. My life kinda went to shit, and I felt like giving up. But today, right now, I feel on top of the world. I haven’t taken my meds and I know that’s not a good thing, but god I haven’t felt this alive in so long. The last thing I want is to be numbed. Can I just enjoy this for just a bit? Is it so bad to let myself go just a bit?",0.5295955249569744,1.716629102409641,2.895731497418243,95.42048192771084,80.26506024096383,5.947676419965577,16.074010327022375,6.5431188927421005,-0.6190519793459552,565,7,145,5,14,195,100,166,0.128,0.599,0.273,0.9826,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,0,0,2,8,12,1,0,11,0,14,4,2,0,1,27,30,10,0,3,11,1,4,1,0,0,2,1,2,1,7,6,0,0,6,0,1,2,5,5,0,0,11,5,19,7,21,17,5,25,0,2,0,0,5,14,1,3,10,92,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13321179769172578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3483594180061195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626647908508819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028920802145661,0.0,0.13741421071873094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16133953786373578,0.0,0.3063727300174985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08335466815155733,0.15304824858209146,0.09067200223635193,0.1338171559990736,0.0,0.17589679574629036,0.0,0.15797272068114734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157117784511825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17536139556188876,0.26009778875808115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16314359644046647,0.1126899872029522,0.07794468421078332,0.0,0.0,0.1411905946843703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17721638217798188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12734575477674678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32462531392200783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10220737471765412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13624890837430167,0.15176199269727697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16376866664354642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995653178333356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119866503659684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303084598320688,0.0,0.15122817361691154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163973983153476,0.09410263514603977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14789802246305006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11614925367903825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Reneequetzali,2018/04/07,"Switching from Zyprexa to Geodan weight gain I've been on zyprexa 2.5mg and gained 30 lbs in 6 months. I've been eating very healthy and exercising, yet I gained an incredible amount in a short period. My pdoc is switching me to Geodan. Anyone have any luck losing weight when switching to another AP? 

Any suggestions on how to lose the weight from Zyprexa? ",5.515970149253732,7.265773432835822,4.958388059701496,83.38026865671642,68.40298507462686,8.345074626865673,29.817910447761196,8.841846274778883,2.3033904477611937,288,11,54,5,5,87,47,67,0.071,0.727,0.201,0.8642,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,5,3,3,0,0,3,0,4,5,0,1,0,4,4,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,3,3,1,10,2,1,9,0,2,0,0,1,5,0,1,4,25,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767286883374992,0.2133525924973622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14226865878506864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20819724616652988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4552544212547869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16240519166372147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16788134960119305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7433029381393252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,FormerlyFishy,2018/04/07,"Those of you who experience auditory hallucinations, what coping mechanisms do you use? I have Bipolar with psychotic features. This displays as auditory hallucinations and delusional thoughts. Sometimes playing white noise will help with the hallucinations since they're mostly quiet whispers or something like hearing a radio in another room. They've been louder than usual here lately, and the white noise isn't helping as much. Do you all have any suggestions for a situation like that? Thanks.",8.599660714285715,11.9650397875,8.042142857142862,57.76000000000002,63.625,10.571428571428571,38.92857142857143,10.608840637214634,5.379607142857144,413,22,52,12,7,130,64,80,0.023,0.823,0.154,0.8712,0,0,1,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,0,0,1,4,0,0,4,0,7,1,0,1,1,9,11,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,3,1,0,5,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,4,4,8,8,3,4,0,0,2,0,8,2,0,2,4,35,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17380174636933424,0.2679957281714305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25000424246887504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880548850904548,0.0,0.34261697820407644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2883030203588222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497249191016629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18787917472835453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21141669239280586,0.2872802848031137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19675636540723876,0.2527730930878165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23530180619571314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20290031621393945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22073725943432226,0.28148296564391495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,LouderCreep,2018/04/08,"Do you ever experience this ? Sometimes i just want to rip my skin off. I feel like i'm trapped in body and i'm having an anger breakdown and i want to escape my body, it's horrible. I feel like i have so many problems that i just want to tear everything down. Do you ever experience that kind of feeling, like you're overwhelmed with anger and you just want to rip your skin off, and when it happens to me, i usually end up on the floor crying.",1.4971980676328478,3.5459636956521763,3.1466666666666683,90.70944444444444,80.52173913043478,6.262801932367151,23.265700483091784,7.3871296695380915,0.8762207729468603,348,12,76,5,9,115,54,92,0.199,0.636,0.16399999999999998,-0.8903,0,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,4,0,0,7,8,2,1,2,0,4,4,4,0,2,18,14,6,0,5,3,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,14,4,13,14,0,12,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,0,8,49,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37315029887191614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18450552165055728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14877024465607194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30387426835062303,0.0,0.0,0.1509592666143562,0.3286108679051229,0.0,0.0,0.25478977747629683,0.3599902125056215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485339991588736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17491335605177655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461827895193137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702937060021214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607231799578658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16612515188215474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18499358396342147,0.0,0.3962887177565053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,indigodreamerx2,2018/04/08,"Daughter has new BP dx. Now in manic phase. Does she recognize this? So, my 14 year old was finally diagnosed with BP1 in Dec after 5 weeks of hospitalization and very risky bx She was in a mixed state. We found a good med regimen. She has very suddenly and very definitely entered a manic phase on the past 48 hours. She is happy and productive and we are able to keep her safe. We haven't told her she is in a manic phase. I am wondering if we should tell her or if she is able to recognize it? What helped when you were newly diagnosed? Thank you!!",1.042744282744284,3.4588486036036024,3.0481081081081065,88.4171101871102,85.48648648648648,7.37934857934858,20.250173250173248,8.384062270229773,1.2789370755370757,429,13,92,11,13,144,76,111,0.051,0.8140000000000001,0.135,0.8757,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,4,2,0,0,3,4,0,0,5,0,12,3,0,0,0,17,17,9,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,3,9,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,0,17,4,10,11,0,18,0,0,0,0,19,5,0,4,11,57,20,0,0.36274060975312894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3681740832695761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15871837603039782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19868230368181225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19886317781568125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15212480667463146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19307206210821806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215686922368165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17861321603766006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16121026043641734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20146152170944165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17516857063969118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19031762519874296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17313847848244854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15852564068190222,0.16698140886138574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17330709876321934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4489484884742949,0.0,0.0,0.14548431848383772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19668835889941272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11679652988148105
bipolarreddit,twistytwizzler,2018/04/08,"lithium and tummy trouble? hey dudes,

I've been on lithium for about two months now. I'm on 900 mg/day taken once per day in the evening. For about a month now I've had nearly daily bouts of diarrhea. It's always in the morning, which makes sense given the evening dose.

Does anyone else have this? Does it go away? Suggestions on what to do? I super hate this. 

Thanks!",0.6008108108108097,3.0846593513513523,1.6473513513513502,96.43210810810814,90.62162162162159,4.0410810810810815,18.210810810810813,5.6839178017228535,-0.3639362162162159,288,8,60,2,10,90,56,74,0.083,0.813,0.104,0.3923,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,6,4,1,0,4,0,4,1,0,1,0,2,11,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,4,0,1,2,13,7,0,13,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,5,34,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19884068925563786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16709212467887302,0.244851165180341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22451849421794484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3082294447526124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4182453717843373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996272708964849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31567249025041244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13581113748326132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359316279281763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595131319360808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3814842814392069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544933384169544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200098160559779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2334372120858352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,moodslayer,2018/04/08,"Insomnia from missing my seroquel dose I missed my dose earlier this week and my mood definitely went to the upside. Not full blown hypomania, but I'm happier than what i was going through before.  
I can't sleep more than a couple hours at a time now,  even right after the seroquel.  I'm wondering if my sleep will ever get back on track. 

Hopefully this is not a mood swing thats going to end me up in depression. I also have some emergency zyprexa on hand in case i need to take it there. Anyone else go through this?",3.71031553398058,5.249301038834954,4.89726941747573,82.88337985436894,72.59223300970874,8.645145631067964,27.43810679611651,9.188382445141503,2.2540106796116506,409,15,82,9,8,135,76,103,0.107,0.762,0.131,0.5647,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,5,0,5,6,3,0,1,10,18,4,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,3,3,0,0,2,1,10,1,15,15,3,20,0,3,0,0,0,8,0,4,8,55,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16971994271178778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14839587813337438,0.2174543159274984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16319147019878386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18059176694922527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23482802716858836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18279305240203253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17729060672958516,0.0,0.18797244167480492,0.0,0.0,0.14017565604389612,0.19197383292627465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108812119480794,0.0,0.3618449351671192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21079188979013705,0.20900341578461248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736556691486625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18124292762676109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4247657600512267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15957025467416278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12375279249408624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17023779192132882,0.0,0.0,0.1967389750218911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301539593037697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,SmellNoEvil,2018/04/08,"What personality traits do you associate with being Bipolar or Bipolar 2? At the age of 47 I’ve just been given a diagnosis of Bipolar 2. I’m looking back through my life and wondering what aspects of myself are related and which aren’t. I’ve listed the ones I can think of below - very interested to see who can relate, or what people’s differences might be. 
- indecisive about what career direction to take
- Been a teacher, website manager, aged carer, Rehab counsellor and counting. 
- Artistic/creative/crafty
- Love the planning/ideas phase of projects but find the execution becomes boring and I don’t finish off
- Get inspired and enthusiastic about one topic or activity for a while, thinking about it a lot, engage in it almost in an obsessive manner (but often without finishing projects), talk about it to other people ... and then suddenly lose interest. 
- Intimate relationships are topsy-turvy - I’ve been with my SO for 20 years now, but many times in our relationship I’ve had one foot in and one foot out - feel sure and committed, then feel like I’m with the wrong person ... marriage is needless to say very precarious atm because I have hurt my SO so much :(
",6.8877522004062275,8.179856478672987,7.512501692620178,68.04555687203792,64.78199052132702,10.388761002031146,35.924509140148956,10.451354775682146,4.149682193635748,931,44,149,23,14,308,138,211,0.105,0.769,0.126,0.5844,1,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,1,1,0,1,11,13,0,2,10,0,16,8,2,0,2,34,29,20,0,0,8,0,2,1,0,1,5,1,0,2,10,12,0,0,7,0,1,0,3,6,0,4,5,5,9,7,28,21,2,20,0,2,2,1,11,8,0,9,13,103,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14930383873000286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146500221355926,0.0,0.09089102694290646,0.16467113965777774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15577956673235174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15078062316174032,0.10651830130581784,0.0,0.0,0.13627627438759196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789949676158607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15961647916980093,0.16831769749524886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10531495701258506,0.07284357085101448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520789579992025,0.16680669023711112,0.0,0.12676095368374685,0.13457012708883084,0.0,0.0,0.15116574553649897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581733666480464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1096069228892896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40414074743752826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20673672331064336,0.260379748277327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.320158903291208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11857167530544052,0.0,0.0,0.118814769638106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14052661017619414,0.0,0.1121059403919216,0.11984231775258665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910767283505136,0.0,0.0,0.08694241421751782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24604907473346074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14372874107782996,0.16169445925469775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16301932864226445,0.0,0.096016621663254
bipolarreddit,buffystan,2018/04/09,"Getting manic after what I thought was the most stable period of my life post diagnosis I had a terrible, terrible mixed state episode in the Fall and early winter but Zyprexa really stabled me out. I hadn't been that stable in years. I am able to read again and I'm just so happy to be content, if not a little bored and dulled out which was worth it for me.




I used to like mania but now I don't. It only promises a dark period of time in the fallout.



I'm so angry but most of all I don't know whether or not to reach out to my parents who I still live with. They're so proud of me and every time I have a new episode they are so shocked as if it's never happened before. ""But you were doing so well"" they say, and it makes me want to cry and scream. I feel so guilty.




I'm trying to finish school and I'm terrified that my stability won't last long and I'll be stuck forever in this crazy up and down up and down.



I'm just so angry and I'm trying to stay off screens and focus on journaling and writing poetry and socializing, but it's still creeping up on me. 


I hate this and I'm scared.",0.9871644100580284,2.7469104340425545,3.187823984526116,91.23295454545456,80.82978723404256,6.3152804642166345,20.894584139264992,7.348242739294969,0.524191489361701,852,24,194,12,22,291,129,235,0.219,0.67,0.11,-0.9852,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,2,1,14,13,1,1,7,0,15,1,0,2,2,43,32,32,0,3,13,1,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,12,19,0,0,3,1,1,1,7,8,1,0,8,4,22,5,31,21,3,37,0,1,1,0,8,16,0,5,18,131,34,2,0.17966424325763722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15288103811546142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197352734835588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15137487379983172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908436396975552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386715173393788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15887649696245335,0.19125592779078315,0.0,0.17738124421374732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873876946851824,0.14645033772208946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12690216831578144,0.08777487406421614,0.18007077123440593,0.15864681839801842,0.15899720157898686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199272774901857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13856814034955586,0.17352084569698836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366427529783012,0.0,0.0,0.19949588030790305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17206868125687186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17971286295344052,0.0,0.1150975147967192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14287621743317136,0.1798752501815442,0.1818298059928955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18314507034949493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19149817822442092,0.2869601934946265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142633340455847,0.20952733013019947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24396045540254294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15517222084064594,0.0,0.0,0.10597062561338602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16153973149681958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11569788213431925
bipolarreddit,Biopolar91,2018/04/10,"BP1 Lithium 4 weeks It's been 1 month since starting lithium I last seen my psychiatrist on day 18 she said that I have responded well which at the time I agreed with although I did say that I feel a little on the flat side she said we might have to put the dose up but she will make that decision next time I see her 

Unfortunately in the 4 or 5 days ago my head has gone cloudy and I feel agitated i did have some mania as well i was just starting to get some relief to after  a major 5 month long episode also RLS is back which was caused by trying to start a drug called latuda which was 2 months ago 

Would it be possible that my lithium levels just dropped for no reason? I know they were at 0.57 my psychiatrist said that's about where they need to be btw I take 900mg lithium carbonate SR .. 

Also can someone tell me this crawling feeling at the back of my legs, will I ever be able to go on a low dose of Seroquel for sleep again?


Thank you",1.8157575757575763,3.6628212828282862,3.122222222222224,92.27000000000002,78.5959595959596,6.016161616161617,21.60606060606061,6.937597516519254,0.36359393939393936,746,21,167,8,18,242,127,198,0.065,0.855,0.08,0.1803,0,0,1,0,0,0,6.0,1,1,2,0,12,5,0,0,9,0,20,6,3,3,1,21,39,7,0,2,4,0,3,0,0,4,3,4,0,0,11,3,0,0,6,0,0,3,1,1,2,0,12,9,26,4,23,20,3,38,0,1,2,0,15,13,0,4,21,107,37,0,0.13049579955413926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313533052775025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20871488751322276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20068642966429054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13325080164983874,0.0,0.0,0.13405513286446796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16831799012855506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15133369780842404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804092172223772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19794779164390053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681786692515359,0.0,0.07416377016349819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13392633838162973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171707867496557,0.10637149367897614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307910736298689,0.0,0.11548467614208237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710695951887831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843542124673802,0.0,0.0,0.31248150660469537,0.0,0.0,0.0967609818631221,0.0,0.0,0.13878376326839534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14711440664311193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13118432173359834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13417141598637974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.372394165840189,0.10377549752332366,0.0,0.0,0.10398825689652533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10794747389756787,0.0,0.130590042059923,0.0,0.11056866748734652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27709679574784196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811660086207724,0.0,0.11405908064551115,0.12014299956585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218630027887975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859808192800626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1046758590170434,0.0,0.2346627914293387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09270047189586114,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,dedicatedgorewhorr,2018/04/10,"Finding help Hi 

So, I don’t know how to start this, I don’t know If I’m bipolar but that’s what I’m looking to find out. Since late middle school I’ve felt depressive moods/ cut myself for 3years, started partying doing drugs and drinking at a really young age and got pretty promiscuous. I never thought I was depressed because sometimes I’d feel really happy and I was capable of that. I thought I was schizophrenic because sometimes I feel delusional or lately I’ve started kind of seeing things or just being extremely terrified of seeing things. I even started to hear my dog choke the other day and when I yelled about it to my sister she said she heard nothing. I just learned that people who are bipolar have delusions and hallucinations, so that part makes sense. I don’t do drugs or cut myself anymore and after those things I tried really hard to clean up my act and managed to do very good in school and still am, but I have absolutely no motivation and I get distracted SO EASILY like not even adderall will help me (again I thought I had adhd but found out this is also a symptom of being bipolar). My mom will sometimes call me “squirrel” because I’ll talk so fast and leap from topic to topic, but other times I can’t even talk to anyone because I get so irritated. I also have weird sleep patterns, I can’t go to bed even when I’m tired and I feel the need to sleep for an incredibly long time most of the time. I also just hate myself, I hate how I look so much, despite constantly being praised for what I look like and whT I achieve. I don’t know if I’m just being paranoid or If I have general anxiety disorder or if I’m bipolar... I’m scared to reach out snd get help, I don’t know how. I get so hysterical and I cry so easily and I am so incredibly anxious. My family doctor is an asshole and my family would completely destroy me if they found out I was getting therapy (when they were alerted by my teacher who found out I was cutting myself my mom was sad for about a minute) and to this day 5-6yrs since they found out my dad will stay make fun of me for being “depressed” about “nothing” and cutting myself. None of them understand mental illness or why anyone with privilege would be mentally ill (because they grew up in communist poland and had to escape and they were “fine”) so I just feel stuck but I hate feeling like this I dont know what to do. 

Tldr; i feel like i could be bipolar but i’m unsure, I don’t know what to do or how to get help. Family would kill me if they knew. ",3.2083996915067945,4.856401343873522,4.661115395738938,83.62620119541117,74.09881422924902,7.6243324014267815,26.965969343487906,8.331364938255728,1.8457456473537064,1984,74,393,34,41,662,218,506,0.192,0.655,0.152,-0.9693,0,0,3,0,0,5,39.0,0,0,7,3,34,28,9,2,8,0,47,16,2,7,1,91,103,58,1,11,25,4,8,4,0,6,13,4,2,0,21,26,1,0,26,1,0,3,13,16,0,0,23,17,69,11,46,66,4,39,1,4,5,0,27,12,0,14,27,267,90,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07790124413281288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555099921261651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049587250249297714,0.07322833825733037,0.06428418785521797,0.09064753566513196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975688604817346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618863772254488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796271172757481,0.07004757262057755,0.0,0.05175362879568557,0.0,0.07120190960674629,0.08360729040926783,0.0,0.16748854427808765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428952701040861,0.0663461874762887,0.0,0.0,0.07596875283820674,0.06349908625571259,0.15034162909993995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17125243558587253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18332005348679065,0.0,0.1966501440422934,0.09261508035401472,0.062237525372790974,0.0,0.1184889164399699,0.0,0.0,0.2842878691263855,0.0,0.0,0.2031951710738806,0.0,0.03683879462421084,0.05436808061429873,0.05184260889587281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900227297918386,0.05806613755401033,0.19198948512613034,0.0,0.0,0.0730570390698595,0.0,0.17379036606022027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07171391075569104,0.06750022901861273,0.2137408111694744,0.0,0.14623994323650455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12667143739498582,0.0,0.0,0.057363807924850574,0.16329784443107742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08653592947017584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306469647158077,0.0,0.0,0.15183319208196186,0.0,0.0,0.04765028096722665,0.048063332414658495,0.04999330874114062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12439339667865525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019392406136937,0.0,0.04493814210050488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594541299650672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12457637617250795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06165882238006382,0.0,0.06489629502518378,0.1312029389499368,0.10330656143007713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10723982376699848,0.0,0.12973395847613806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19232640750105892,0.0,0.18352019100571146,0.06908967330577394,0.051765469008981685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737297259603953,0.0,0.10419998960179586,0.0,0.0,0.07412750997084973,0.0,0.12919091588299692,0.0,0.0,0.15437991608030344,0.11339148174841834,0.0745012464068675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04400863840996077,0.0,0.0,0.06748007973715736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05348342620026792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05849011848509567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13813916032898094,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,teeaaaa,2018/04/10,Done I’m worried today’s the day I want to die more than anything ,-2.2880000000000003,-0.9427864666666644,0.5199999999999996,100.24000000000002,113.66666666666666,2.0,18.333333333333336,3.1291,-0.9256666666666664,53,2,12,0,3,18,14,15,0.3720000000000001,0.5489999999999999,0.079,-0.7003,0,0,0,0,0,1,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,2,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35104594923629345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751142614883145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44273146472067226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4365480959021089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40435597389111133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516129221833152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4332212812524381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,JTethras,2018/04/10,"Struggling with being at work. I'm not sure exactly what is wrong. I have been so great for a long time. We've just had a beautiful baby boy, I was so lucky that I got to have almost a year off work to be with him. I had arranged to go back to work and a week before I was due back in I had a hypomanic blip, I went to the doctor's about it when I felt it coming on (they were beyond useless, seriously the NHS is in dire fucking trouble as well as anyone who desperately needs their help) they wanted me to postpone going back but financially it was just impossible, plus I felt like I could conquer the world so I went back. I was really productive and confident for about a month until the higher dose meds brought me back down and now I'm stable again.

The problem now is that I have other medical problems, I deal with a lot of pain & I have epilepsy so there's trying to keep that in check too, as well as caring for my son and at this point in time, I just can't deal with it all. My concentration for anything other than playing with my son, changing him, feeding him etc is nil. When he goes to bed at night I pretty much just sit there and stare at what ever nonsense is on the TV because I don't have the brain capacity to even try to enjoy anything like a game or movie or reading or anything. I just sit there and then go to sleep. 

I have a tonne of support at home, my SO is a diamond I am so thankful for him. I really chose well in the life partner department for sure. My family, mil & friends are all super supportive too. So I don't really have much to complain about outside of not coping with work. 

I used to love my job, I was good at it & I love recognition for when I do a good job but I just don't think I'm good at it anymore. I can barely seem to keep my train of thought together let alone handle the complex shit at work I deal with. I've been trying to think if maybe getting a simpler job would be better, I was a cleaner for a while when I was younger and sort of found that therapeutic. But I am quite prideful about my skillset so I'm not sure in the long run whether that would maybe cause more problems than it would fix. 

I don't know, I'm just feeling really frazzled and I'm on the way to work, can anyone relate? In a way I wish I was still a bit hypo it gave me the boost I think I needed.",2.6295455293021206,3.6971256369168373,4.2068921659996725,88.63332602379258,74.57809330628805,7.195855490378817,24.886190450084968,7.63319966405982,1.0555653637410236,1821,57,407,23,37,610,224,493,0.094,0.703,0.203,0.9967,3,1,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,3,11,43,37,2,1,28,0,46,12,3,2,7,72,86,36,0,12,18,2,3,2,2,3,5,0,2,2,19,17,1,2,11,4,1,9,8,12,3,0,23,4,56,25,69,55,8,62,0,1,1,3,23,23,2,9,28,284,75,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030667944482141,0.07271794368938661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22822240646254835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06963094579152805,0.09818703249779133,0.0,0.17333425669375765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2699415642355144,0.0,0.04280028129244221,0.0,0.05974481876895625,0.0,0.0,0.062096369804569035,0.07665277798727449,0.0,0.0,0.07837925904727894,0.0,0.0,0.07158530790300068,0.0721265554821382,0.0742744617507547,0.06048099393344158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05605817295698693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2171549336197704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186444968458958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830438677743395,0.04637403635635698,0.06351032525080108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661891575140673,0.0,0.035501046152916584,0.0,0.13482810936935236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07698329038904388,0.05424523399263685,0.06490940427760353,0.03668261308159623,0.0,0.11970844761767252,0.1766702357305915,0.056154553867120184,0.07740843127012295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04706129128318279,0.0,0.0704278634280581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090222523743752,0.12481442194766625,0.0,0.0,0.0385864065294424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07179602003914765,0.0495924618309298,0.06860358888293286,0.0,0.0,0.12426994361372118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05969131010006733,0.12673724759606025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14107378611166665,0.0,0.07798915313699491,0.0707307038760323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0560421528109936,0.0,0.10322706848075153,0.10412188146368956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658887404520446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747099907684147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637256585094617,0.0,0.0,0.07143034128239313,0.0,0.2015487818012116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467857724207047,0.0702305044494443,0.0,0.17991714988470647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06391791648153762,0.0,0.0,0.07207110011464775,0.0,0.0,0.07026221012792236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05607099796540173,0.0,0.0,0.07340030876191572,0.0,0.0,0.1593503658881053,0.1985205354229047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06464131987200934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13496609066226106,0.0,0.055740091648969474,0.08188178547242626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14300700768210153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06064019662856585,0.0,0.0,0.04141256430586969,0.11146124794547396,0.05631943359204564,0.0,0.18938572306739104,0.13017353566043635,0.0,0.0,0.08073976480876091,0.0,0.0,0.3066888677196221,0.0,0.0,0.14962871439269054,0.07676525787718079,0.0,0.04521390674261711
bipolarreddit,kitannna,2018/04/10,"Scary random images when I close my eyes Hey guys , this is my first post. I’ll try and be as descriptive as possible. Im pretty manic right now but even when I’m depressed , when I try to sleep and as soon as I close my eyes I get these really weird demonic images . It scares the hell out of me . They look like monster masks with bright colors. It’s extremely vivid. Im not on any drugs . I’ve been sober for two years now . Has anyone else experienced this or something similar??",0.8204295532646064,3.2702966701030936,2.4037371134020624,92.2262929553265,87.4536082474227,6.119931271477665,17.361683848797252,7.492282038375204,0.3794199312714781,375,9,80,7,12,122,73,97,0.17600000000000002,0.738,0.086,-0.8933,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,7,6,1,1,1,0,4,4,3,0,0,10,7,11,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,1,7,9,2,10,5,0,14,2,1,6,0,3,5,1,2,9,43,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14185272436668164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458554728235677,0.2137316916486347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17966379809417007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24190563192411155,0.0,0.17425554939254856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13777597361741056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17743201540843648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898302432229147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20654325956824515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4506398759289126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10190967828810704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17516846347632056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351611307958253,0.19977771699812052,0.2122175594201121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13363221342947126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17814021007490222,0.0,0.0,0.2088414147376953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087470742140518,0.0,0.0,0.16058772165725302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28324656446563784,0.0,0.20376840026919565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343292607665571
bipolarreddit,Susccmmp,2018/04/10,"This sounds like a mania induced purchase but I swear it's not... I ordered a baby turtle! The backstory is that I had a turtle I found lost and wandering away from the water when I was about 8 and took him home and made a pet of him. He loved attention and ate from your hand, popped his head up every time he saw me. I loved him and was so attached. He died this fall, I'd had him for 24 years. I was devastated. I couldn't imagine not having him around. I found a website you can order turtles from and finally made the jump to order a baby turtle that looks just like him. I can't wait for him to come, I can see this really cheering me up.",1.9987299465240649,3.3367380441176486,3.808288770053476,89.78002673796793,76.64705882352942,6.7101604278074864,21.922459893048128,7.348242739294969,0.6167588235294117,498,13,111,6,11,168,82,136,0.104,0.721,0.175,0.9029,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,2,0,1,5,6,0,0,9,0,11,6,2,3,0,21,25,9,1,1,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,6,8,2,1,5,0,1,4,4,1,0,0,13,5,23,5,13,11,0,15,0,1,3,2,15,4,0,0,6,74,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17804885874616727,0.0,0.0,0.18791339758227385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17228853819682682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20757595104690535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685147364933844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190981688625745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4385952579187538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20526514318318756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20062358187597049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954268816531667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16795571900627293,0.0,0.21833154268620156,0.0,0.36102870841448176,0.3785033966221769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12812976744515778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15937988523520488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166258373623568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222154167751755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879811312998185
bipolarreddit,ExistSufferDie,2018/04/10,"Just diagnosed Hello, 

I was just diagnosed and have been looking back at my life realizing exactly when my episodes really impacted my life. 

I have had months of extra energy and lofty goals followed by failure when I am unable to continue. Usually the cycle is 3-6 months at a time it seems. 

Since being diagnosed I noticed one day where I was manic in a long depressive streak, so my question is what is typical for cycles? Can I have a 3 hour manic episode? Is it just rare when im having a long streak? Trying to get a grip since this day was very embarrasing and has caused me so much trouble. Is month cycles more common or just day to day?

And I just want to say this fucking sucks.  All my time is spent trying to be like I am when I'm manic and now I find out its a bad thing. This was the best part of myself. ",3.0715799170889007,4.4647639700598845,4.752934131736527,83.8668125287886,73.97005988023952,8.252233993551357,24.822201750345464,8.841846274778883,1.7477871027176413,641,20,132,13,13,217,99,167,0.098,0.841,0.061,-0.7924,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,14,7,2,0,8,0,22,6,0,1,2,20,31,12,0,1,6,0,1,1,0,0,5,1,0,0,8,6,0,0,4,0,1,1,0,5,0,1,7,3,16,2,13,22,6,27,0,1,1,1,3,5,2,3,22,94,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742267373097007,0.11664583307523807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466092565379517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351304992321534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3603864709114353,0.0,0.12032564204828147,0.42538558557531664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12768564269003993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291527997463401,0.07298884089642718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13757891705455094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509027777963462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19735215145051294,0.06825163222099437,0.0,0.0,0.2472648042399269,0.1173149964432548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33452784014455034,0.0,0.10269748314803406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15905233257473606,0.0,0.0,0.09466609522767447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15128429858251952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15649888102979986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949706089819033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11109711234950233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271799974043469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311268636943457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281219779794136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16292341548483386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1896977860249507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538626735106257,0.11526927332661265,0.08240021125296161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throwmeawaylater18,2018/04/11,"Dating someone with depression, I myself have bipolar. He is struggling, swears it doesn't have to do with me, and that he just wants time alone. I hit a low point today. My SO has been struggling a bit lately, I have noticed it when we are together. This morning he finally said he just wants time alone, but the anxiety in me worries that I did something wrong, which has caused me to hit a BIG low. He said it doesn't have to do with me, but I don't know entirely if I believe him (anxiety again). 

I am respecting his decision and told him to contact me when he is ready, but I cannot seem to rebound from this intense low feeling. I just want to cry, mainly because I feel a lack of control. Please help. ",4.6298290598290635,4.951871034965039,5.377296037296038,84.80987567987569,69.41958041958043,8.593317793317793,31.97280497280497,8.515128840125781,2.3205033411033416,550,23,115,8,9,179,85,143,0.21,0.6629999999999999,0.127,-0.9019,0,2,1,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,0,1,7,8,0,2,5,0,18,1,0,2,0,24,30,9,0,5,7,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,8,6,0,1,5,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,5,4,21,1,12,23,3,15,0,4,0,0,15,6,0,2,9,79,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32740611909007594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24183177374607406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09635224322196648,0.0,0.0,0.17808011159786133,0.0,0.0,0.17256118149796953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623717229588585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17727834515925678,0.0,0.0,0.17362209043393115,0.0,0.0,0.13613731870351573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598403248888972,0.0,0.0,0.1731476048018169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594465379968768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686594374423012,0.0,0.1782991831953313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17995298193859646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17350301741946084,0.1494183078947573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3007035540043107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14389238689788614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339241897088461,0.1216827322756811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3304784075633813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18433275368872973,0.0,0.14982291832084707,0.1510336275044425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796846199103661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605181593123077,0.0,0.0,0.17281439688306902,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,auspiciouslyanon,2018/04/11,"Went on 2mg Abilify exactly 7 days ago as of today. I've gained 7 pounds. I am a 32 year old woman who was RX'd Abilify 2mg last week and began taking it a week ago today. I take it with 30mg lexapro, which i've taken for several years with no weight gain at all.

I am naturally very thin and always have been under weight. I have 
never had to worry about my weight...until now being on an AAP. I don't even own a scale and borrowed my roommate's today to find out my weight today and last week. The day I began the meds, 7 days ago, I was 117lbs, and am now 124.5. I am still within the healthy benchmark for my height at 5'6. 

However, given that it's only been a week and its 7 pounds, that's a lot, isn't it? I am excited to be a bit curvier and filled out, but I worry about how unhealthy this rapid increase could be, as diabetes runs in my family and I worry this medication will affect my health and metabolism negatively.

This now is the ultimate incentive to exercise (as i was infrequent) and eat few calories/carbs than before. I used to be someone who could eat anything and be rail thin. 

I'm hoping the effects of Abilify will out weigh the bad. I found that on day 5 of taking it, which was this Monday, was the first day I really felt like it was beginning to make me feel better. So far, I find myself in a happier mood and my coworkers today told me I seem happier and asked me if something good or different happened. I didn't have an answer! I am now not scowling or irritable like I was. I am able to smile at people in my building now at work, when I wasn't able to before.

I'm curious to find out from other women what their weight gain has been like on Abilify. Were you able to control your weight eventually while still taking it? Or did you have to stop taking it in order to loose weight? Has anyone been able to loose weight after stopping it?",4.813097684923772,4.74453332727273,6.232286843591193,80.19439299830607,68.97402597402598,9.500846979107846,27.907961603613767,9.318704503766252,2.1473670242800678,1461,43,304,27,23,499,189,385,0.058,0.773,0.16899999999999998,0.9927,3,0,1,0,0,0,43.0,0,3,1,8,13,9,0,0,16,0,41,14,0,6,3,48,64,25,0,4,6,0,11,3,0,2,4,0,0,2,23,19,10,3,9,1,1,4,8,1,0,1,24,11,38,7,46,31,6,67,0,0,0,0,10,22,0,7,43,203,61,1,0.2565895405204989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17058835945833933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05337576316814552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04485334318397759,0.0,0.05278783225065668,0.0,0.05996914583619325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05356038714558724,0.0,0.0,0.109169400135148,0.0,0.0,0.056733149265635885,0.07003233053500837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07194674698630557,0.10243293461234064,0.0,0.0,0.2068487831408224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702036438602503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312775788007429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04236874289004961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0604724457296047,0.0,0.032434845335056105,0.0,0.061591549378238526,0.0,0.17588864364320206,0.054563733021977215,0.0,0.07033429680908751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05380378319507513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0567253208205766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818567072636045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06371282741868706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10457736103698938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401751649499893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05453581290543176,0.0,0.0,0.042818877686967134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07125328388675159,0.06462174187140922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0494744179732062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06731188994242013,0.0,0.0,0.04878697698334021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044471719940195074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041094457502030134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05839737021517001,0.0,0.0724682863697937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05435187125462186,0.04938379103085652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102456369254946,0.10726017259710358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411542518863687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30402110273244115,0.0612955754676315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05540274476033539,0.0,0.05292831078999335,0.0,0.0,0.20582065216305076,0.6249138694585735,0.0,0.05946526868077653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0467000603664004,0.19543435016344515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08261762573833087
bipolarreddit,gcrandy,2018/04/11,What do mixed episodes feel like for you My pdoc said I have had mixed episodes but I’m not rlly sure what he means. What do those episodes feel like for you? ,0.5359090909090902,2.885021909090913,-0.21492424242424235,111.29761363636364,87.4848484848485,3.3000000000000003,17.340909090909093,3.1291,-1.4874181818181818,125,3,32,0,4,34,22,33,0.069,0.79,0.141,0.373,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,6,9,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,4,3,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,16,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3822607979550512,0.5400928846182191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3693477442328235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41175764309752416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35956877772084683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3562647043993712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,nonnaalee,2018/04/11,Any bipolar moms here. Need reassurance. I’m currently pregnant. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder unspecified because my mood swings are super quick. I’ll go from manic to depressive in a few hours. Im currently what I call stable on 200mgs of lamictal but I’m terrified of what may happen after I give birth. I know PPD with psychosis is higher risk in bipolar moms and I’m scared because I want my baby more than I’ve ever wanted anything and the thought of losing her or causing her harm scares me. Did anyone here either deal with PP psychosis or not have any issues at all after delivery? I’ve already planned on staying with my mom while my fiancé is at work once she’s here so I won’t be alone just in case and my doctor is aware of my situation and is planning to see me after she’s here but it’s still a fear. ,2.4840060240963844,4.725130819277113,4.165888554216867,83.6742545180723,78.1566265060241,6.800602409638555,26.037650602409638,7.8658589789855275,1.7110253012048195,660,26,125,11,16,221,108,166,0.196,0.763,0.042,-0.9832,2,1,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,5,9,10,0,4,3,0,11,5,0,1,2,24,23,10,0,3,7,3,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,3,8,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,7,0,0,3,1,18,2,22,17,4,20,0,2,1,0,11,7,0,3,11,80,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15069001387858388,0.16055849359819166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19788458736044487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017342112490774,0.0,0.11973084047584535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773860660723481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14856772008076033,0.0,0.0,0.14946450759173738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15000002429818518,0.12531552251888134,0.14767541376586812,0.0,0.0,0.1667510623210045,0.1489213579333949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316094942722289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16372349068759315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13957305537286832,0.08268875015655698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286616640338573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14328428741194596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716068601164682,0.15186006041745476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07996081627779872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16277284772179135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5112095963077464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078834670425208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15494852975118684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2913338278390311,0.0,0.115941503172997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16354364039084712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15507941540043446,0.11619332221058995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550760043566352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17163466328627947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592284698093997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,terrafutrobot,2018/04/11,"Increased sex drive while manic I've been manic constantly for the past week and my sex drive has been out of control. To the point where my fiance has had to tell me to stop touching her. Not because it's uncomfortable, just that she has had enough intimacy and isn't interested in physical contact of the sexual nature.

In the past when I've been manic I avoid physical contact all together. I just don't like touching people or being touched. I don't know what it is about this time around but I'm always interested in sexual contact with my significant other.

Anyone else had this experience with randomly having an increased sex drive during a manic phase?",5.16733870967742,7.276673314516131,6.184709677419361,72.80706451612906,69.88709677419354,9.153548387096777,29.335483870967746,9.642632912329526,3.0764251612903224,537,21,89,13,10,178,78,124,0.076,0.858,0.066,-0.0719,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,6,4,0,1,6,0,15,3,0,1,1,17,17,6,0,0,5,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,3,1,0,0,5,4,1,0,0,6,3,9,3,14,10,4,20,0,0,0,3,6,7,0,2,9,63,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20453570032704946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718778227347094,0.2518639657382657,0.0,0.2188252495823021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498450248232843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26563599730615545,0.2756996323357361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053448105115762,0.0,0.0,0.25399003312451224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404518029462976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350921271927863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1200915761381306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4693117109865735,0.17041544406703124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323722760036233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20551026549482315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21485096876142465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14333525161734328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19717596870382256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Jitterbat,2018/04/11,"Have you ended a relationship while manic and later regretted it? My (now ex) fiance isn't diagnosed as bipolar, so I may be completely off. In fact, it never occurred to me to think that our relationship, which would be going so well for months and the would have a sudden two week period of intensely angry fights, was the result of bipolar disorder. We had broken up about 4 times in 3 years, always for just a few days, but this time I was tired of fighting his moods. On our last day together, while doing a last sweep after packing up our apartment, he casually mentioned that his mum ""is manic."" He had never told me that before.

I was really caught off guard by the breakup -- we had just gone to a romantic dinner the night before, and his temper seemed out of nowhere, so after giving him a few days to 'cool off' tried to fix it, and that's when I found out about his new girlfriend. He was screwing her in the bed that We were still sharing at night -- Awful.

Since we split I found out he's cycled through that girlfriend and now has 3 casual ones. He's bought a car, a new computer, 2 TVs. This despite being really tight on money generally and having a bunch of new expenses since we're not splitting them anymore -- I can't think of how he could possibly be affording this besides maxing out credit cards. He's deleted all his social media, sent angry ranting texts to his friends cutting off their friendship. Right before the breakup he applied for a bunch of jobs in exotic places (he's normally sort of boring about where he'll go) and was coming up with two totally separate out-of-nowhere plans to start businesses in fields he's not skilled in. Now I'm wondering if he could be undiagnosed bipolar. It might explain the sudden promiscuity, reckless spending, maybe even the bursts of anger out of nowhere, We're in our mid 30s, so it would be late to be diagnosed.

Now that I have this thought in my head, I'm obsessed with the idea that maybe he is sick, rather than cruel, and that he might come down from his mania and want to reconcile. I could forgive everything with a genuine apology -- and obviously a promise to seek treatment. 

It's been about 3 months since we broke it off. We split our stuff, moved to seperate places, and after getting sick of getting angry texts out of he blue, I blocked his number. I'm not going to contact him, he'd have to come to me. I guess I'm not looking for redditers to armchair diagnose but wondering: do people who dump someone during a manic spell come to regret it when they've come down? I'm wondering if my hope for reconciliation is actually plausible, or if Im just grasping at straws?",7.370692904254548,6.776634039138948,7.493655142422266,75.04592882510694,63.79452054794521,10.544930057258824,34.777197941581505,9.906371001090498,3.288573327534971,2098,81,390,38,27,680,256,511,0.158,0.767,0.075,-0.9939,2,0,0,0,3,0,65.0,11,1,2,2,23,24,8,1,22,2,40,12,1,2,6,87,77,27,0,15,14,2,1,0,3,7,9,0,2,0,24,31,1,3,14,2,5,13,8,13,1,3,18,4,42,10,76,41,6,84,0,3,2,1,61,34,1,14,37,256,66,3,0.0,0.0,0.07909008053806296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06743751102442445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803767440982359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20689482046237606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3490736278916563,0.08497612976075039,0.0,0.0,0.19412805776910474,0.0,0.0,0.15680563160666444,0.0,0.0,0.24678268398482886,0.0,0.0,0.09288676579601396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178349494953735,0.0,0.0,0.05353071124693387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283972529351637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17772747910005302,0.06261663175205046,0.0,0.0846873174275566,0.07774756889342263,0.13818245826173192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089282294603515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317749858530664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049785607579242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09149208190703437,0.08754455672253847,0.0,0.08042653975638968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13212807685054434,0.09142443022640576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680589814880107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16284500341579894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17195590044573816,0.0,0.0,0.1293817202681605,0.08614002548153964,0.0,0.0,0.1250167270483637,0.23482679513102614,0.0,0.15211404556028374,0.07940875139681733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05491947507119409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056187713781146516,0.0,0.16935351529890033,0.0,0.0,0.09136819910335224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384143537603996,0.0,0.0,0.17402807333442954,0.0,0.06921360739912552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378205132686913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20112849270507585,0.0,0.0,0.08261710524647868,0.06867077301330526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05736541100335344,0.0,0.06472415681801841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927793070246268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386315842555306,0.0,0.06434218337195903,0.09451819506987952,0.09315148588220587,0.0,0.07744378348886582,0.0,0.055025523159068584,0.0,0.15834208403200922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04780355983717825,0.0,0.06501093228201149,0.0,0.07287089394812889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636757084404989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17272017132291478,0.0,0.0,0.05219154458727749
bipolarreddit,ilovesmokingcrack,2018/04/11,"Does anyone not want to get better? I saw my psychiatrist today and she prescribed me Wellbutrin for my crippling depression. I'm currently taking 150 mgs and 200 mgs of Seroquel. I'm kind of anxious that the new med will help me, as strange as that might sound.

I don't want to get better anymore. 

I have given up on life. I've come to accept that I'll never be happy and I don't want to be anymore, because it won't last. It's foolish to seek happiness because it just ends with more hurt and pain. All I wanted for a long time was someone to love me. I thought I found that person. We were going to get married. He left me 3 months to this day... what would have been our two year anniversary is in less than two weeks.

I see no point in pursuing another relationship. Why go through the pain all over again? Why get my hopes up just to be crushed and thrown away like the trash I am? I'm not hung up on him. I fucking hate him, he was a horrible piece of shit and our relationship was toxic as fuck. But that was our thing. Lord knows I'm not the best person either. 

It happens.

I really don't know what to do with myself anymore. I gave up on all of my dreams. I've become extremely misanthropic and only leave the house to go to my appointments. I wish I would just commit suicide and get it over with.

Everyone thinks I'm depressed, but I'm not. I think this is a perfectly reasonable reaction to everything I've been through, which this is just the tip of the iceberg and I'm not going to detail every horror that has made up my existence and broke me as a person. 

My fiance leaving me was just the last straw. I can't possibly endure any more suffering in my life, which is why I've cut myself off from other humans, except for my family.",2.4160477094063424,4.2105966750700325,3.973559230143672,87.08562483057743,76.64705882352942,7.1834824252281555,24.121171049064785,8.049812674583475,1.3215051775548925,1371,45,285,23,31,456,184,357,0.151,0.77,0.078,-0.9703,1,0,0,0,0,4,38.0,4,0,0,4,6,23,5,0,12,0,29,8,1,2,6,53,69,16,1,8,14,0,0,1,0,5,4,1,0,4,20,15,0,0,8,1,0,5,12,12,0,2,14,3,40,11,49,47,9,36,1,5,2,3,18,17,3,2,15,186,60,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06079537664510602,0.093744174462083,0.0,0.1009970699351524,0.2659836931048208,0.06251087841737345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399467252859863,0.0,0.0,0.10899537798584236,0.0987357812649277,0.0,0.0,0.0938202643800228,0.15813487888437786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701057791761479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0576558990515406,0.0,0.1540009657677168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782349426536007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918226971769167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532374109625546,0.0854259681349412,0.08034736645810185,0.0,0.0842787947176897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802298701281406,0.0,0.16529856441206478,0.23354024539103946,0.0,0.2032333605011551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905652915228496,0.19033689840873835,0.0,0.08826444296267891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05992324205609965,0.0,0.0,0.08879482610828776,0.0,0.1031561246039652,0.0957050385777359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09309681897839864,0.0982643066304943,0.14574660966026326,0.0,0.18932435177480308,0.09713385845271268,0.0,0.12629237377150473,0.04367654765157462,0.0,0.0,0.07911659145362114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806874031518173,0.08459287432212617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930375418424572,0.0,0.0,0.09483975737190498,0.0,0.0,0.07135859209707124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895114404310829,0.08634351876234413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679930763253828,0.1902567795637379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23418309296779816,0.0,0.0,0.08451232894223458,0.10078558295479062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05727222218420866,0.09191855974283768,0.0,0.19196526793386284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07124058976218249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176828471263633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07574871736580116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977895900189719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721801787513765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059393691372002386,0.11456840642775765,0.0,0.07097397697848468,0.05213012559860623,0.0,0.08474118021156657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746625128004409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21092282403659465,0.0,0.07171165430398146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420100221199495,0.0,0.10280611386277133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270150397013615,0.0,0.0,0.05757096340040173
bipolarreddit,ReekusReekusReekus,2018/04/11,"BPII dx as of today, after 5yrs of unhelpful MDD treatment! Well, I've been half expecting this for awhile, and wondering how I'd handle it if things went this way. I'm actually relieved. 

This partial hospital program I'm in has really hammered it home that no matter what I'd be dealing with a chronic episodic illness, whether MDD or BP - so the only real difference for me outlook-wise is I might actually get some effective treatment now. I might not be ""treatment resistant"" now. I might not have to do ECT. I could cry. I'm getting up there on Lamictal, with a bit of Vyvanse, and I feel just... *normal!* Or what I imagined it would be like. Here's to hoping it's only up from here. I was already fighting for my life, so I know it won't be easy by any stretch of the imagination, but maybe now I'll have better help. 

This community is something special. Thanks for everything thus far.

",2.351609195402297,4.793015885057471,4.116781609195403,82.76471264367817,79.80459770114942,7.085057471264367,29.206896551724128,8.167268648758528,2.370634482758621,700,34,131,14,18,235,118,174,0.066,0.7879999999999999,0.147,0.9329,0,0,1,0,2,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,11,8,1,0,4,0,18,4,0,3,0,31,29,11,0,6,8,0,1,1,0,5,4,0,1,0,13,4,0,0,6,0,0,1,4,1,1,1,3,1,10,7,20,16,2,13,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,9,6,88,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.30868979421255394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17453750955349964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10755669875474896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13988288640822907,0.17267373068369235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12628079652118535,0.0,0.17373533157386886,0.0,0.16305976773479486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16524734021996268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14214728103945626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07997228858966778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16526794770770595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601375383953053,0.0,0.15865102663628552,0.1570921818358079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692260012054016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171565627480458,0.07727076527267489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588966348592012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5033598824382615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15496678572455372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405811504525501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18002484856741985,0.10132367769413032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176209712654308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14561582961116928,0.0,0.0,0.10507689438494887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499206369810535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255429353949848,0.0,0.0,0.14220810690733227,0.14661927870706667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715217205992839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235491180710976,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,ParisOTaylor,2018/04/12,"I just need a little support I have Bipolar 2, but since I was properly diagnosed and medicated 3 years ago, things have been pretty amazing.  If it wasn't for the reminder of taking my meds, I probably would have forgot I even have it by now.  But right now I am having an issue with a boss at work and it is really throwing me for a tail spin.  At least before when I had crazy anxiety I was used to it, but given how stable I've been the last few years it's SO overwhelming.  

It's a tough situation without a possible solution at the moment -
 I'm basically just caught in the crossfire of my two bosses fighting with each other - and it's so tense and uncomfortable here that I feel totally out of control.  It's very nerve wracking and I don't remember how to handle this much anxiety.  Any advice or kind words would be much appreciated.",4.859891126837233,5.593693802395212,6.511747414262388,75.41707131192163,69.05988023952095,9.90506260206859,30.151878062057705,10.018931242160765,2.972142514970059,663,25,127,16,11,229,110,167,0.136,0.733,0.131,0.2629,0,0,0,0,2,0,13.0,0,0,0,2,11,6,1,1,10,0,17,3,0,6,1,31,26,15,0,4,8,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,12,9,0,2,2,0,0,2,3,3,0,1,9,1,13,3,16,14,6,17,0,1,0,0,1,7,0,2,8,96,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658828037550295,0.15047773055361344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543934809859707,0.0,0.25972450634595723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14444916080790654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19039487644275555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17229794116578115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212169980557027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583332296015178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771803111161222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17677390429958895,0.0,0.13837313407051546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17013929334518207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18855974383860424,0.17101049143284394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2495791889899033,0.1258713199661199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913734668008621,0.0,0.17270205294898922,0.18302480268312005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087495194198336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19229953471717784,0.1449700019016625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14042324462680608,0.19081194229646786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926361741591721,0.0,0.0,0.12763477409281546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11277780304211925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658261509970336,0.0,0.0,0.1466139774914545,0.0,0.14006580721575454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636379422355349,0.0,0.12358379768055998,0.0,0.0,0.2411784282123189,0.0,0.0,0.21863354916431987
bipolarreddit,tiredcollegegirly,2018/04/12,"Advice for me - diagnosed with depression, questioning bipolar This is something I just don’t know how to address.
I have depression and anxiety (diagnosed 2 years ago, but I’ve been aware of it for much longer). I was given 3 medications for my panic attacks and depression by my college’s psychiatrist, but upon her retiring, the college wellness center notified me that a nurse practitioner would be monitoring my medication from them on. I felt unsafe, angry, and wiped from the medication so I stopped taking it. I quit going to appointments, and eventually they billed me for all of my no-shows and never followed up.

For months after I went off my meds, I experienced suicidal thoughts, extreme depressive thoughts, and began self harming. This was very out of character for me. But I stayed off my mess out of fear of regressing. I somewhat leveled out.

I have a family history of bipolar disorder, and I’m getting close to graduating. I’ve been feeling very much unlike myself lately, and I’m (and my boyfriend is) noticing rapid mood changed from manic (cleaning the ENTIRE house, instigating fights, eating constantly which I’m not sure is exactly manic but I can’t regulate it, and rapid thoughts) to depressive (laying in bed and threatening to never get out, crying before every shift at work because I’m just so tired, feeling like I’m making no progress and just feeling small). My boyfriend has told me at times he feels in-equipped talking me through these episodes. He’s expressed that I should consider going to therapy again.

I’m graduating in December, and I just feel like potentially being diagnosed with something else or being recommended new medication can ruin that. I’ve worked so hard to get here and I want my degree. But I feel as though it’s irresponsible to put off taking care of my mental health.

I’m also pretty poor so therapy would be tough for me to pay for. I do have insurance though, so I don’t know how much of a difference that could make. I’ve only ever received free therapy. 

Does anyone have recommendations? Is it worth pursuing a diagnosis for soundness of mind, or is it possible for me to just recognize that in myself and adapt? I limit alcohol intake, as that typically makes things worse for me. But I’m afraid of taking medication because I’m so forgetful and anxious about actually going to refill my prescription.

I apologize for the word vomit, but I just don’t know where to go from here.",6.058297742525934,7.875721337807608,6.957156802928619,69.30918242830997,67.165548098434,10.518852959121416,34.57453731950376,10.637119530657019,4.251097539149889,1966,94,319,57,33,654,230,447,0.21,0.7020000000000001,0.08800000000000001,-0.9966,1,0,3,0,1,0,57.0,0,0,2,5,24,21,2,3,8,0,28,15,0,5,6,75,70,38,1,5,16,0,8,2,0,3,14,1,3,1,17,23,2,2,14,0,5,8,8,14,1,0,12,10,46,7,61,50,5,43,0,6,0,0,13,20,0,4,16,217,63,7,0.0,0.0,0.0731236125979559,0.0,0.0,0.0732234739169385,0.06642341417465064,0.08008038451939614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05992374045003344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057323393942924926,0.08465274562729283,0.0,0.052394762471844165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524688812406744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135668998229758,0.0,0.06376230157262884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0763989929960643,0.0,0.07926897640464704,0.0,0.0,0.08097574638416008,0.0,0.059827750813285,0.0,0.08231017233979121,0.0,0.0,0.3226975938475845,0.2281656720643461,0.0,0.0782888369854357,0.0858794912248946,0.0,0.06557420629997911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07667497081467012,0.06259674692404157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0677810159116509,0.06313412358211454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07063998367073668,0.08432024291843546,0.2273296788831111,0.10706402773894533,0.07194724787200336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11744790021839382,0.0,0.17034416919748852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712507874541282,0.0,0.0,0.07965007217047802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646240115286181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235433368330566,0.0,0.08452747262846923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321677115189669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15005469602459895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323345863589564,0.3774346097214438,0.07551464729542777,0.0,0.07566077635592046,0.0,0.05981065340800181,0.0,0.16525270993912858,0.0,0.1155856038425629,0.07237057406761563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531149993302058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0569897780033162,0.0,0.08791750642826436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447548351896092,0.0,0.07623360579428733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532816983340307,0.083941895490392,0.0797002662530119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07817126224092531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537387482613333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986840448671492,0.0,0.06264718376579974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08196433118493904,0.0,0.07062328588384209,0.0,0.16902044106056854,0.06022815363589376,0.0,0.0,0.25707659336044525,0.0,0.04978202883319585,0.0,0.147242209181648,0.1784648413020696,0.04369392364205303,0.08612424112144172,0.0,0.07160151037189083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12365483038812912,0.04419731231218997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737359454533956,0.06946346485420181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910395509569894,0.0,0.0763629342705037,0.10646023546607386,0.0,0.0,0.0482542723603919
bipolarreddit,aabd1713,2018/04/12,"Mental deterioration In the past few days, I have been feeling a burgeoning amount of hatred that is warping my beliefs. I am normally a very empathetic and kind person that punishes himself for his constant mistakes and apologizes constantly.

I hurt myself before hurting another person, and I am overly sensitive to criticism. But talking with the person I felt hurt me and reconciling was easy enough. All it took was one conversation and everything would be good.

But that hatred seemed to warp me into a completely different person. I have a very hard time empathizing, and I can't be affected by criticism or even emotions. When my girlfriend or best friend cried, I would feel all their feelings and comfort them genuinely.

But even when my best friend was crying on me, I couldn't feel anything. Even she noted that she said ""It didn't feel normal, it didn't feel like you were really there. I feel like you don't really care about me.""

I have a history of mental illness, my psychiatrist thinks I am bipolar but I suspect otherwise. I am supposed to be on lithium, but I stopped taking it two days ago. These changes happened before lithium, and have been present in the past without lithium so it isn't medication.

That and my willpower feels boosted, I went back to the gym and train much better and more consistently. I shower regularly, do all my work, and meditate before sleeping. I have much better impulse control and I am much calmer. I don't feel fazed by anything, anxiety, fear, sadness, even my usual depression. Other things I have been doing, the one I find slightly disturbing is I made a list of all the people I have ever known.

Each day I write out what they have done to make me hate them, and I conclude that they are worthless to me. So far I have done 10 people, and I no longer feel the slightest bit of attachment. When I write out the thoughts, it feels like someone is telling me these.

When I hesitate he mocks me and laughs about my weakness, and tells me the truth. Although the truth is painful to swallow, it feels like he is my darker self and he is gradually taking control.

He has had his moments throughout my life, where he took complete control and caused havoc without any mind to the consequences. When I was younger he would make me steal money and cause my parents stress.

But as I grew older he grew calmer and more scheming. To the extent where he never consciously manifested and took control, but rather suggested to me what seemed to be rational decisions. But as of late he seems ambitious since I am dealing with very traumatic repressed memories. He appeared smirking in my mirror mocking me, he appeared in my dreams hunting me down. He corned me in every part of my life, slowly breaking me.

Hahaha, I can feel him right now slowly killing me. I wonder how much longer I have left until I am nothing more than a calloused unemotional monster. When my best friend told me I was fake, it deeply disturbed me. What the hell is going on with me?",5.588239603439202,7.281723983812952,5.785830847517108,77.73463853307602,68.15467625899282,8.661800315844886,32.98543604141077,9.114032605525557,3.054751237059133,2389,108,412,45,41,758,268,556,0.206,0.675,0.119,-0.9954,4,0,0,0,0,2,65.0,0,2,5,12,22,41,6,5,20,0,55,9,1,12,8,103,92,45,1,8,13,1,15,4,4,3,7,1,1,5,21,29,1,6,28,2,1,9,11,22,0,3,23,16,86,19,44,61,21,54,2,6,0,0,46,18,1,8,30,302,107,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05343621364941868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04099371811265077,0.06321076494080963,0.04611544233167295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921363536852518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04635301371301778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15388621671816888,0.0,0.18978621484822855,0.10662877683292044,0.06581215603546517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06146135309461614,0.12385210942985404,0.06377019326034555,0.0,0.1264087239207815,0.13028650628610594,0.27044483613407194,0.0,0.0,0.1324335404712788,0.11663039874137696,0.062147929709857774,0.05192066015653148,0.0,0.0,0.06298169209608016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337850273413142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780895588962117,0.0,0.062287254707323915,0.0,0.15926234622236773,0.054528375161599016,0.0507900498374287,0.0,0.054177430479697856,0.0,0.0,0.06783382895244104,0.39624402210101706,0.17226143315616946,0.05788001951642041,0.0,0.0550965093401931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13972079932822812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034259558667203954,0.05056154704379778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053307031716435804,0.0,0.05400068776414712,0.05951583646407872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935988683638772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06669292407234556,0.0627742595734402,0.0,0.0,0.06800054081447746,0.0,0.06549639515927172,0.0,0.08515769217762308,0.11780264759369916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057040134228353134,0.08047719212170129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060727611473657316,0.12149983184932238,0.0,0.06086747362316106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17725635303306825,0.0,0.04649307099367228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11812680761616287,0.05784205095196509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169706930281254,0.0,0.06414412757063202,0.0,0.0669358490537772,0.06527935791583353,0.1150916739517112,0.08358367484019573,0.2105431088049336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723618016580046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05148036168457384,0.05734183390713363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646349683625219,0.06288710573304086,0.0,0.0,0.049865760691739806,0.0,0.06032537447113968,0.0,0.05107660711134807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05039831718739374,0.06905264364511482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906488824947951,0.04845225927314445,0.1053779697630712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04004857566697287,0.038626168772104924,0.0,0.0478570471332704,0.03515082547215983,0.0,0.0,0.05760188110465416,0.20092602571465734,0.0,0.0,0.05888659804170247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639192981754509,0.14921649280242189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055881869291123897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116219084515417,0.065373083646577,0.043885897216612124,0.0,0.0,0.1284674679452924,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,singing-in-the-rain,2018/04/13,"Does anybody else see someone else in the mirror? Lately I’m so consumed with negativity that when I look in the mirror I’m surprised to see someone who isn’t consumed with darkness.

I feel like freaking Gollum!

Can y’all relate?",2.8804545454545485,5.6927388636363645,4.201090909090908,80.6166363636364,80.81818181818181,4.42909090909091,29.25454545454545,5.6839178017228535,1.459541818181818,186,9,30,1,5,61,32,44,0.194,0.711,0.095,-0.6824,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,8,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,4,3,2,5,8,0,4,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,0,3,17,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25313655712152777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4832853006522632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462603857294204,0.20664999931084946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263019807738289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14131960124808882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24290860127857886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4610113335048518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4901842800665256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jumpingjellyf1sh,2018/04/13,"Latuda nausea I've been taking Latuda for a few months and had a little bit of nausea here and there but the last couple of days it's really begun to upset my tummy. I had to take an odansetron tonight to stop myself throwing up and even then I still feel quite ill. 

I know this is a pretty common side effect, I was just wondering if anyone has any tips? It has to be taken with 350 calories, is there any food I could take it with that would lessen the nausea? ",6.116736842105265,5.171084042105264,6.47684210526316,82.46789473684213,66.47368421052633,8.442105263157895,24.26315789473684,6.742157984588678,0.8446421052631581,364,5,74,2,5,118,69,95,0.115,0.84,0.045,-0.7779,0,0,0,1,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,6,1,0,1,6,0,11,2,0,1,0,15,18,6,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,5,1,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,1,7,0,10,10,2,13,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,9,52,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29502320769637064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15167403250306138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368181549870824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17319128465017075,0.2400155197935237,0.0,0.1398940940862887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432722207542113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968020299852277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622979740049365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921239962628745,0.17681703225496445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21740871247392035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17314179053506648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206834778434549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307188773049225,0.0,0.0,0.13896315503824289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17323090741284464,0.18135306924666972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4892857732655759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352381989530295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15409224560414836,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,magpietakesflight,2018/04/13,"Pets How many of you think about dying, or suicidal ideation, and then look over at your pet and think ""if you weren't here, i'd probably do it, but i can't let you down.""?

Like -- can't let the pets down, but people, meh. ",6.955319148936169,3.7072961276595753,6.881382978723407,87.58250000000002,66.44680851063829,11.102127659574473,29.88297872340425,8.841846274778883,1.7137744680851068,166,3,43,2,2,53,35,47,0.08900000000000001,0.843,0.068,0.0129,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,4,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,1,0,9,9,8,2,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,5,1,6,6,0,5,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,2,2,28,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30324385823296857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5975617762272324,0.0,0.14274775400535858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453633958408104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962316427624755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20256559761039367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150268829157229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196050304083458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3744431182611084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fountainofrain,2018/04/13,"Increased armodafinil and hypomania?? So I’ve been on nuvigil/armodafinil for almost four years now for hypersomnia. I have been at the 150mg dosage for 3 of those years and just recently wanted to go up to 200 to see what it is like. Note: bipolar symptoms started 2 years after I started taking nuvigil and the medicine didn’t seem to affect my mood.  

I have been on the new nuvigil dosage for a week and a half now and have noticed in the past few days that I feel on top of the world and great. This was not how I felt initially but today I woke up before I even took it and felt super happy and irritated like hypomania before I even took the medicine. 

Is it possible for a 50 mg increase to trigger hypomania or am I just adjusting to the new dosage? I’m curious because I have never had mood symptoms as a result of the medicine before. Also online it says that nuvigil doesn’t tend to cause hypomania but I just don’t know.

Thanks!


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bipolarreddit,swinty22,2018/04/13,"My boss made a joke about bipolar disorder (rant) I haven't and won't be disclosing my diagnosis at work. Yesterday my boss was talking about someone outside of our company and how volatile that person's demeanor is and how he ""must be bipolar or something.""

Just a bummer... I always feel like bipolar is a deep dark secret that no one can find out. I work in a professional field where intelligence and ability to work under pressure are critical.  Perceived instability would almost certainly prevent me from advancing. It's stressful to always be pretending not to be struggling. I know a lot of others are in the same boat.

I would love to say I don't need this job or I could go somewhere else, but the stigma is real and I'm almost positive this would be an issue anywhere...",3.7814285714285694,6.300728333333336,5.121326530612247,77.04688775510208,75.19047619047619,8.009523809523811,30.90816326530612,8.841846274778883,3.0124367346938774,623,30,106,14,14,207,100,147,0.07,0.8,0.13,0.8220000000000001,1,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,0,4,6,7,0,3,8,0,20,4,0,5,2,34,27,10,0,6,5,0,1,1,0,5,3,1,0,1,6,6,0,1,5,2,0,2,5,3,0,1,2,2,12,4,14,14,2,10,0,0,0,1,7,7,0,5,2,77,18,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.344610778158767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.286355604196983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738559947229126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972095762237412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374419035096192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08700484247594494,0.12292836879944027,0.0,0.0,0.15727081554216116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779256065819572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17959860491075028,0.17075504445198494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09456634622388722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406575426445131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462895772160921,0.15530182146511404,0.16281881622186994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758930900270204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11660053305123555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15024675258500608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19585576288469286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13683866952841253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579616298247516,0.13246953747181234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19710805115356114,0.17988715808566508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13830506545700091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3758116945362111,0.0,0.0,0.36670532664132977,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,jordy_L,2018/04/13,"Super high Highs and very low lows Okay, it seems like every few months or weeks I’ll get this high where I’m happy as fuck and hyper and I wanna be involved in shit and I’m just in a good mood and I want everyone to feel as happy as me and I call old friends and all this shit. But then whenever I’m not on this high I’m so sad and bitter and lonely all the time. I don’t wanna talk to anyone or go on social media, or get out of my bed. And I just get so introverted and unmotivated to do anything. I also just constantly dwell on everything wrong with myself, and my life, and I often get suicidal thoughts, and so much self hatred. I’ve noticed a huge pattern and it’s getting more and more noticeable. I’m 14 female. I do take vyvanse for ADHD which it really affects my mood when I am not on it, but even when I’m on it now it doesn’t make me happy like it used to. I’m also taking anti depressants but they haven’t done fuck all. I’m wondering if any of these might be playing a part in it? I don’t know. I feel like I don’t have anyone. I don’t have much friends, and the friends I do have aren’t my ride or die by any means, they’re just “now friends” if you know what I mean. maybe my loneliness is doing this?? Maybe bipolar??? I have no idea. all I know is that this is becoming an issue and I’d really appreciate if someone could maybe tell about similar situations they may have had or maybe help me identify the core of the problem...",1.4490633213859034,3.017310090322585,3.618745519713261,89.56774790919953,78.74193548387096,6.915173237753883,21.80406212664277,7.793537801064563,0.8067037037037035,1128,32,256,18,27,387,155,310,0.145,0.696,0.159,0.6762,1,2,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,1,2,1,17,29,5,1,8,1,27,6,2,3,4,63,58,40,2,8,17,0,2,3,4,2,2,0,1,1,17,20,0,0,11,1,0,2,10,13,0,0,3,3,29,14,25,50,10,29,0,5,0,2,14,17,4,13,13,165,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462883026975824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924320681092106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11840715051115365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12174832031320584,0.0,0.0716427076921716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615058873077773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889767832528978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09408059740396264,0.0,0.06951007911858283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498438425246991,0.0,0.09035421426201956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909229032931229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05750210479838065,0.0,0.0733515444859527,0.08318926557163824,0.07824363659193752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803999119896852,0.06219546061587612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690484050935713,0.16097056285934325,0.2274254763470948,0.0,0.04947802866290197,0.07302153825666502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27802997968008963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058354275709747175,0.3679333736241547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982797941497864,0.0,0.09086769854253306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14353718802901413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061492834384706485,0.12759890234195662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058113019744167924,0.0,0.3498526447411727,0.1896670517528544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923565741777539,0.0,0.0,0.06949021472492266,0.0,0.12799778014138966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19823607036728014,0.09135450064427376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09427716140276393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330436657889734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11154533463721417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925587291501078,0.0908222446824732,0.0,0.17873104337440165,0.0,0.09785874029506067,0.0,0.08874639124646358,0.07376539362949458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952291715486272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13091610577666415,0.06997528182970761,0.07609400720866287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06911566995895145,0.05076520591320654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07519162047347235,0.0,0.07183336266892706,0.0513500613659515,0.0,0.06983403272705016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441252112637348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518610520352663,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tattluv,2018/04/13,"Sigh I have a pretty good life. I'm married to my amazing husband, I have a wonderful daughter and I've been at my job for a long time (over 15 years). So why is it that I am always looking for something bad to happen? I feel I don't deserve the good I have so when is the bad going to happen? Is this a symptom of my bipolar? It seems to be the one symptom my meds cannot control. Every day I worry my husband will wake up and see I'm not as wonderful as he says he is, or my daughter will just hate me, or my boss will fire me or even my pets won't want anything to do with me. Why can't I just accept all I have and not look for things that are, or make things, wrong? When I get like this I start fights so that I can say ""see bad things are happening"". How lame is that?? Is this normal? Lots of things make me happy but the happiness is always replaced with fears of something going wrong and this makes me feel so guilty. I'm not looking for happiness. I have it. I'm looking for something to be wrong so things feel normal inside my head. <Sigh>",1.5935859649122823,3.0511068755555533,3.083532163742692,94.04726315789476,78.02222222222224,5.625730994152048,22.953216374269005,6.05967700443912,0.25837777777777804,817,25,187,5,19,268,105,225,0.163,0.72,0.117,-0.8775,1,0,3,0,1,0,29.0,0,0,0,1,11,19,2,1,8,0,27,6,2,6,1,34,55,19,0,3,10,4,4,1,0,4,4,2,1,0,16,6,0,1,7,0,0,2,7,10,1,1,1,12,27,8,21,48,2,12,0,1,6,0,9,3,0,8,8,125,43,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15670123376661027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774875894091142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358648827265776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561108028312567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06072692472645174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06219334291386156,0.0,0.07933583953964585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059588204058966,0.142833937522014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04919594052216852,0.0,0.107029264898157,0.15795782032042496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2498023605879613,0.30071271177302605,0.0,0.09296582434739732,0.09663773508201827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344160109083116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06650965123873258,0.046002967002169784,0.0,0.0,0.08333071503269024,0.3162906283479993,0.0,0.0,0.08005346115450307,0.0,0.0,0.1885622958002135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459314145825672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18451821733516466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06380684407490822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579696008542628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14976335736270965,0.0,0.0,0.1500704005357275,0.08572186530256387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21747232798048285,0.0,0.0,0.0666485947004958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957414677791526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.312786400394993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05490682246368416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05553939262533558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16993374645194428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042300998324536,0.0,0.09562643533705444,0.0,0.0,0.3088552376812066,0.0,0.0606374650011131
bipolarreddit,crazyrhythm,2018/04/14,"Discombobulated And I can't figure out which one of my issues is causing this? PTSD? PCOS? Lyme? All of the above?

Lamictal is making me super itchy to the point where I feel like I have to inspect for bugs! I haven't seen any...no one who's visited has seen any. I've asked. It's just me and my brain and we're not doing so well right now.

But that's not what I wanted to start out with...

My head feels heavy. My brain feels like it's clogged and I've been less social lately. I can't concentrate. Too many thoughts are going around and seconds later I forget what I was just trying to remember, dammit. 

I am an onion. I hate spring. Make it go away.",-0.9841400255754458,1.028735080882356,1.032263427109978,98.19355498721231,102.60294117647058,3.835805626598465,13.265984654731458,5.7926816847441245,-0.9863391304347826,505,10,115,5,23,165,91,136,0.06,0.84,0.1,0.7346,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,1,8,5,1,0,3,0,12,3,3,3,1,26,26,7,0,1,5,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,0,6,0,0,3,5,1,1,3,5,5,16,4,12,21,2,15,0,0,2,0,4,7,0,0,7,72,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11885187202106355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15558533663287993,0.1633894906646138,0.0,0.1642053165999057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3902097218199202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795403751746188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26511197309143203,0.24971623397736936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986554462331667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17255250082993348,0.17936788040119914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824179710668472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197151952697632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707708624657301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23332513807063635,0.17719274631210302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23686189182916176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16521730858382727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2043006947591053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979841368334429,0.1492554869436163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1781594217785413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370547750317636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13875051844673145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186596330122476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10308585073441044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15714223212677134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BirbLikesDrinkie,2018/04/14,"I'm afraid I'm going to lose my job because of my Lamictal. Memory has always been bad but it's getting worse and worse. I'm getting write ups left and right for making stupid mistakes. Mistakes that could directly harm living creatures. 

But I'm afraid to come off Lamictal. It's the only thing that's ever worked like this for me without massive side effects. 

I had to use a week of PTO with one days notice because I had a medicine change that triggered a mixed episode. 

I don't know what to do. I have to work. But I feel like I'm a terrible employee. I'm not worth the payroll. I hate this.",1.4459962168978568,3.7465335491803313,2.868360655737707,91.21289407313999,82.36065573770493,5.7210592686002535,24.958385876418664,7.010146845296331,1.0657470365699877,471,19,97,6,13,153,77,122,0.292,0.66,0.048,-0.9872,2,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,4,1,12,2,2,6,0,8,0,0,4,1,20,23,5,0,3,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,3,0,1,2,3,10,0,1,3,1,9,2,13,19,0,10,0,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,5,53,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579256402669954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15847189680958146,0.2313960002894558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2007792104839706,0.16349261812212093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15153681954973364,0.0,0.0,0.1224028457000448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17168152633979142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596666000565353,0.13559044115144636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198321358900646,0.0,0.10786555268302488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873844510360212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18834343961607086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430702634228453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062141235159473,0.0,0.0,0.18544966988121192,0.0,0.16759351929170915,0.0,0.0,0.2123333965993996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669043537468533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21608422839115946,0.0,0.0,0.1286108151382451,0.14434856046017755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16208491531866462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609215986840178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16392297588817564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15224306100609927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18295676113847828,0.0,0.2763477839422285,0.0,0.3868370792327337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,qwaszxedccde,2018/04/14,"Misdiagnosed? So I was recently diagnosed with bipolar however I am really debating it the last few hours. I have felt fine for a few days, really really good, I’ve done a lot, sorted lots out and now I am kinda feeling like it’s over the top saying it’s bipolar and I am actually fine. I am really confused about everything. Is this the bipolar in me, messing with me or am I actually fine? I was not okay before being diagnosed with this and now I am diagnosed, I just can’t help but think in this moment that it’s all wrong and I am in a good place again now and I don’t need treatment. ",0.03307135969141939,2.390894795081969,3.2645612343298005,84.43940694310513,92.85245901639344,7.460752169720348,21.110896817743487,8.313332769828598,1.8063812921890063,463,17,95,14,17,166,68,122,0.064,0.782,0.154,0.7341,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,7,10,0,1,6,1,15,6,0,0,1,23,19,8,0,1,4,0,2,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,8,9,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,3,14,7,10,14,5,16,0,0,0,0,2,7,0,6,10,72,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.31994336554177844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13949205075520965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572105707574823,0.0,0.0,0.4991554056740441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16775693820269802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473293913535127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288775217439988,0.11711136849731504,0.15739816324584044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749928110616541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10987858307288867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161437675565998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13362453705487545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008774233172546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27873423770263506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215517518768318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17127158450984512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4200701034930696,0.0,0.16186074416157006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303634304134458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503949495435748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17923132865212527,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,19wcw91,2018/04/14,"Voices So I was digonost with manic depression some years ago and I have been taking meds since. I recently found out that audio hallucination are a symptom and I am very confused. I always thought that ""the voice"" was how everyone thought. Its so common to me it was normal and now I find out it not. Does anyone else have this and how do you deal with it?",1.3661746031746027,3.9985190142857165,2.6147619047619024,90.169126984127,87.42857142857142,5.396825396825397,20.63492063492064,6.937597516519254,0.582730158730159,281,9,56,4,9,90,51,70,0.094,0.906,0.0,-0.7425,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,1,2,0,9,1,0,2,0,18,13,8,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,7,8,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,7,3,8,0,5,6,1,7,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,2,5,42,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069278319584139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942382994932456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16322459089151156,0.2391838115810632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406633157045301,0.20105896182181207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042823078375708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19500667482378126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2230590747299717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21335720567781447,0.0,0.0,0.2559516416695204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2592959027465829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287187145832437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23049089354088925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1931015138272446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24263044347412074,0.17551558618248986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3706458347588033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19260998761763468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15032578626585225
bipolarreddit,tclemons96,2018/04/14,"First time taking Lamotrigine/questions I have bipolar (not sure which type yet/newly diagnosed) and I have been cycling rapidly lately. I just started taking lamotrigine and I feel like it made my depression and anxiety worse on the second day of taking 25mg. I'm not sure if this is just my mood swings or if it's the medicine. 
Anyone else have experience with this medication? Ultimately, I'm going to ask my doctor when I go back soon. Just curious and impatient I suppose.",3.8362421972534335,6.576468629213482,5.370037453183521,74.17530586766543,76.19101123595507,8.449937578027466,28.990012484394512,9.150863307647796,3.078534581772784,384,17,64,10,9,129,63,89,0.12,0.774,0.105,-0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,6,5,0,0,2,0,5,4,0,1,2,17,16,8,0,2,8,0,1,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,2,2,1,9,3,4,14,0,11,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,3,9,42,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238239189421535,0.0,0.0,0.1392806440619747,0.20409715928374214,0.0,0.0,0.1862189228939162,0.0,0.0,0.153167415164177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846325243189868,0.0,0.17156496790110987,0.20217708958366995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2038828668633848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664005105939757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19484934965644207,0.0,0.0,0.10071815895165866,0.14230379178990266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16943378883831695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264123786301909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246988109727707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0973158247225035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884815941950488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006663760009692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14099010091172398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3754748100618033,0.0,0.44930589967280815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615126282384095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20299507366549266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,likeaparasite,2018/04/14,"What is 50mg Seroquel good for? I had a really bad episode and the crash brought along with it severe anxiety and insomnia. My pdoc and I were in the process of adjusting my prescriptions to better handle the stress overload caused by my job. He added in 50mg Seroquel and low dose of Lexapro. My anxiety went away and I could sleep, yay! I'm hungry all the time, bloated, and my muscles get all twitchy and tense if I don't go to sleep within an hour-ish of my Seroquel dose. 

So, I hate Seroquel. What is 50mg really good for? As far as I understand that low of dose isn't therapeutic level for anything bipolar related. I'm also on Lithium and Lamactil.

*I can't take time off of work to see my pdoc for several weeks or more and I don't plan to change anything on my own. My job is also still slowly killing me so I'm hesitant to change anything right now too. Question is general curiosity.",2.597852209944751,4.518413270718233,4.07712361878453,85.98043680939226,76.51381215469613,7.618922651933701,28.99205801104973,8.472884824447931,2.204626795580111,706,32,144,14,16,234,104,181,0.185,0.752,0.063,-0.9666,2,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,0,0,0,3,7,10,2,1,6,1,11,7,2,1,2,21,22,17,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,11,0,0,3,0,0,3,4,6,0,0,4,1,18,4,26,17,4,20,0,2,1,0,2,12,0,3,5,87,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252767307716381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21550101324139967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3477247186881364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13233400014903898,0.0,0.11760456756140247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245711213334893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446926112204224,0.29800302387570743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245793412942348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358875018617812,0.0,0.08004877794389999,0.2362780029436581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13906104347512088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13870970457496135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27954544894089906,0.0,0.1558305850158893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577851753648288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804653088320651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028584725771756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11223988298777376,0.0,0.0,0.3182427138649849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2819051203975701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11248366229492447,0.0,0.1613441606554758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590230213086324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16426251430140495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14663069119439434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298204738068103,0.0,0.0,0.1305701392545201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10254108861374052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AliceDuMerveilles,2018/04/14,"It's not all in my head Along with bipolar, BPD, PTSD, and panic disorder, one of the big things I've been struggling with the past few years is chronic pain. My old PCP wouldn't take me seriously, and kept telling me to take Tylenol and lose weight.

I had an appointment with my new PCP yesterday and my blood test results came back. My vitamin D is very low and I also tested positive on a blood marker for autoimmune disorders. So, bad news is I probably have something like fibromialga. Good news is, it's not all in my head! I've struggled with pain so much that I really thought it was psychosomatic at this point.

I cried yesterday after taking gabbapentin. Even marijuana does not take away the pain like this drug does. For the first time in many years, my joints don't hurt, I don't have aches all over my body. I feel like a huge weight is lifted, and I just wanted to share with you guys. I woke up today at a normal hour (I've been sleeping upwards of 14 hours a day for months due to pain/depression) and wasn't in pain for the first time in as long as I can remember.

I feel like this is going to have a huge impact on my mental health. I've been in a depressive slump for a good year or so, with little blips of happiness. I feel like I can do things and be happy again. ",5.4603448275862085,5.207167678160925,5.979908045977013,83.18089655172416,67.6206896551724,9.718620689655172,28.511111111111113,9.3871,2.066080766283525,1008,29,219,18,15,327,142,261,0.13699999999999998,0.706,0.157,0.4169,0,0,2,0,0,0,29.0,0,1,0,3,8,23,0,3,13,0,22,18,6,1,3,36,35,15,0,3,5,0,5,5,0,1,10,0,0,1,9,16,2,1,5,0,0,2,7,13,0,3,10,5,25,10,35,23,5,43,0,4,0,0,4,19,0,1,27,132,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935686207480328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08148441221341995,0.06668897072150208,0.07241479174332892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633596746905736,0.10923168600159834,0.0,0.0,0.09919445938810252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09526733857817783,0.05593279791943306,0.0,0.14939850109670724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19879707051684786,0.0,0.1517936346381665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10057768788059136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05728344876353957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315578188660656,0.18587687323827928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475426737594302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04928988477500227,0.14548773684118474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587498905859224,0.0,0.18464849998767213,0.0,0.0,0.17801721170905274,0.09218848870728144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17082048049417986,0.0,0.09284480288573367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118561633589455,0.08692488171249944,0.0,0.07675211720996468,0.0,0.09702716383444918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792922836294842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0874020703274286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922597300950578,0.0,0.06375552952613467,0.0,0.0,0.08376306095356821,0.0,0.0,0.0849756529673755,0.0,0.0,0.09100711835373324,0.0,0.058769571019690686,0.0,0.4614269389255289,0.10175737231206766,0.0,0.0,0.08279230043136099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198659797501416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09350814271578303,0.0,0.10138113900295348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0555605875985489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09824664238346392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08679127438783235,0.0,0.0,0.06676794425094404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18133521067181427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260836575074061,0.0,0.0758046540806382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523730934209125,0.0,0.0,0.06885285247789406,0.1011443348759504,0.0,0.08220860980748443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07156021095899295,0.05115479893431541,0.0,0.0,0.21122423737973653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16755120195193818
bipolarreddit,PYROCLASTIC_FLOW_,2018/04/14,"Question about seroquel Hi everyone. I'm not sure if there is a better place to ask this. I'm not bipolar but I am prescribed seroquel which I know is common for bipolar so maybe someone here has some advice or info 

I am on 150mg/day of seroquel. Been on that dose i believe for about 8 months. I was also in a car crash around the same time I started on this dose, prior to that I was taking 25mg every few days for sleep. 

I've noticed since then that I am having awful muscle aches and pains. I noticed it in my back first and got physio thinking it was from the car accident (which wasn't a bad accident but I didn't know what else it could be). The physio helped some but I'm noticing other muscles are hurting a lot, every day. My right arm will get numbness a fair amount and extreme pain. I'll also have random areas (eg. Lower leg) that will start hurting for a day then go away. Is this common? Could it be the seroquel? I want to come off it but not sure how fast I can do so. 

Any help would be very appreciated! ",0.9078465955701418,3.121901933962267,2.476480721903197,93.72463084495487,83.90566037735849,4.441673502871207,20.538146021328963,5.511479884284512,-0.12262575881870365,798,24,170,4,23,260,127,212,0.192,0.725,0.083,-0.9767,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,11,9,0,0,10,1,26,10,3,1,2,31,41,16,0,5,9,0,0,0,0,3,7,0,0,0,16,5,0,0,5,0,0,4,5,6,0,1,7,0,14,3,19,26,6,30,0,2,0,0,5,11,0,7,15,113,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12004762119784045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19648623889283215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354222871908654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10936256667473077,0.11484818848271157,0.0,0.11542164109832573,0.0944640850285996,0.10257463821322092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13840990764999792,0.0,0.10865086252646164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582441740165303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961714948105078,0.0,0.0,0.3169124082369583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10262543090319162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20701288663361508,0.11738846212170236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449616727150944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418406685581537,0.0,0.06981849946192753,0.0,0.09825438639413554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646875624330177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2630269821043649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350303202720275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10444269686163847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234193608188858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805771673799506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4195966981597849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26144217325035873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835212731245427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13762014192184086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491324886840976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162280897557706,0.0,0.12293874436525495,0.0,0.10409042628837167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739077579449925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23156938664635104,0.0,0.09236792883362198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07871733462267705,0.0,0.0,0.07163483666424574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013641353219341,0.07246012682265085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726913198874955,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,learn4urself,2018/04/14,Looking for an informational resource on how to deal with the BPD of a family I am looking for a subreddit or online website or informational resource that provides advice to family on how to deal with Bipolar Disorder of a family member.,21.429302325581396,10.175560302325586,20.663720930232557,23.50162790697675,50.62790697674418,23.71162790697675,68.5813953488372,18.243605946275586,10.805297674418604,195,11,26,7,1,71,27,43,0.066,0.934,0.0,-0.4019,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,2,0,8,3,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,11,3,0,2,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,2,0,23,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2246250531740784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28951160640749685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4739691144610779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26344946847014195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6500993154021072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3860636624384457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,JaxJo,2018/04/14,"Newly diagnosed I was just recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. After about a year of trying SSRIs with absolutely no success my doctor referred me to a therapist. Through therapy we’ve discovered my problem is not just depression. I’m so happy to hopefully have the right diagnosis and will soon be feeling more stable. 

I’ve been started on a low dose of Abilify (4mg) because of the success it has had treating my mothers BPD. Any one have any experience with Abilify? So far my only symptoms are waking up through out the night and feeling slightly jittery during the day. ",7.1977142857142855,8.602042295238096,8.240952380952383,62.695714285714295,64.14285714285714,11.333333333333336,43.57142857142857,11.20814326018867,5.832142857142857,471,30,67,14,7,160,79,105,0.084,0.718,0.198,0.9248,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,2,6,8,0,0,7,0,10,7,1,0,0,14,15,4,0,2,3,1,2,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,2,6,5,15,10,1,13,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,1,7,50,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709461410611185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12143965005412655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509043911697021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128477231489295,0.0,0.1715836371819204,0.4043981800016019,0.0,0.0,0.22831771517112806,0.20390505289903352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19487055268681006,0.0,0.0,0.2014582377114832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120681331840273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978655023446616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18694983634176246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13499327874316888,0.1515120282647312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19062190552391445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19670083587771775,0.0,0.0,0.17012857068168002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14100544311017876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2070607229099676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278197801084147,0.23130403635088195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13525394727774728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12828796556000455
bipolarreddit,herzogs-rifle,2018/04/14,"Welp it turns out I will not be the next film prodigy I’m just having a mixed episode. Lately I’ve been like one possessed to write direct and shoot a film myself. I have experience in none of these things whatsoever I’m a psychology major, I’ve been listening to as much new music as possible to try to be inspired and be able to have an adequate soundtrack, I’ve decided that I need to completely overhaul my life. I need to read more, write more, be around people more which means quitting my usually very isolating job in order to gain material for my screenplay. I even went as far as to drive 30 minutes to to look for a homeless man that I met two weeks prior outside a bar because I had an interesting conversation with him about Arthur C Clarke . And as far as my screenplay goes I’m obsessed I think about it constantly but I can’t think of a plot or characters or setting my mind just goes around in circles and runs into walls but it’s very important that I get it done. I started bidding on film equipment on eBay. I spent an hour crying in my car yesterday because I miss my friends and none of them are available to see me and I feel isolated. I keep forgetting to do important things I have major brain fog. I get distracted by everything. It’s becoming sort of a hazard at my job at this point I’m trying to judge whether I should take some time off.  It happens in April without fail I don’t know why I’m surprised. And my psychiatrist went on vacation today FML. I hate this. I had my meds adjusted a month ago and I though I was going to be stable forever HA!  ",3.2981412278573186,5.0322050662460605,4.724621451104103,82.90523355981558,74.04731861198736,8.283863140014558,28.91155059451589,8.950670267944501,2.401282552778451,1254,53,250,27,26,418,183,317,0.066,0.8290000000000001,0.105,0.8749,2,1,0,1,0,0,19.0,0,0,1,3,8,11,1,2,12,1,21,3,1,0,0,40,50,20,0,3,9,0,1,1,1,2,1,1,0,1,15,13,1,1,8,5,1,6,6,5,0,2,10,4,37,6,47,33,9,42,0,2,2,0,9,19,0,4,16,159,52,4,0.1254504326914892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11120423933502877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22335496426333412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529468387598262,0.13855014676781896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14004417183276394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13153239188266372,0.13556735065680006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378014096130997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12837934810331672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285882764151957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11274675981251425,0.12271459522299147,0.0,0.0,0.06343150813256553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692269310419126,0.0,0.1310853466112781,0.0,0.07129637190492917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109354033226676,0.0,0.0,0.12385633019954514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12354340613581992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24898039425397014,0.11150610867539774,0.0,0.0,0.06894427699499564,0.0,0.14151355231223062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0886093506200558,0.06128874466694314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534676796201654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13665229825558933,0.13934714994461572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12666917512001133,0.0,0.10013333850740544,0.0,0.0922205025400322,0.18603981252815693,0.0,0.12116080962456613,0.1334179583715279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08500845987446971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697153434571113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185912080567702,0.1414265135857753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133431977166387,0.12548438136021295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996775273284303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879446194886957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943231128850178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666873863000774,0.1607671436044982,0.12325441317275132,0.0,0.0731511561480631,0.0,0.11891234165745415,0.0,0.0,0.17034521802969166,0.13645404676974554,0.12254684407876935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13816592810604267,0.20701949040526302,0.0,0.0,0.10062877005166324,0.0,0.0,0.2325876158782272,0.1131995029374848,0.0,0.0,0.12092974040546532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,AstridAstronomical,2018/04/14,"Rapid cycling is becoming increasingly unbearable So I’m bipolar one with rapid cycling. I was diagnosed about a year ago.

Lately I have felt so isolated and I think I did it but self. I go one day happy about my life. And that the rest of the week it takes all of my energy just to get out of my bed.

I know this comes with the illness. And I know that I’m going to be OK. But in the meantime I’d really like to stop crying and feeling like my life doesn’t matter. 

I feel very alone even when I am around other people.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me anymore.

I don’t remember how I ended up like this.

I’m so frustrated because the last three years I had so many horrible things happen. 

I’m trying to get myself under control.

I take my medicine but it doesn’t seem to work.  I change it. That will  work for a few weeks. Then I have to move on to something else.

 I don’t take Xanax or Clonopin. Only because my doctor doesn’t want me to become dependent on them. I don’t know. I guess a lot of people become addicted. I don’t have an addictive personality that I’m aware of. But Vistaril doesn’t work. 

I smoke a lot of pot and that helps but where I’m from it’s not really something you can admit. And its something I can get arrested for but it’s also on of the few things that calm me down enough to be rational. 

I don’t know how to make friends. I don’t know how any one could put up with me. But I don’t have anyone to talk to. 

I know I am being irrational. But right now everything feels real. 

What am I suppose to do? I just want it to go away. 

I feel like I am being ridiculous. 

How did this happen? I haven’t always been like this... anxious, yes. I’ve always been a nervous person. But I was brave. And now I’m afraid of everyone and everything. 

I’m not really looking for answers. I just needed to say it. I don’t want to hate my life. I want to be better. I have to get better. This can’t be the rest of my life. 
",-0.21993049393670816,1.9017100652173933,2.298338755792173,93.63319875776398,88.44444444444444,5.601814058956918,18.352361234348813,7.043009809895983,0.19583363896283146,1493,41,342,23,49,512,178,414,0.121,0.72,0.158,0.8947,0,1,4,0,0,0,48.0,0,1,1,6,20,18,3,2,13,2,43,11,0,7,1,67,88,29,0,6,15,0,5,5,1,1,11,1,1,3,25,15,0,2,17,0,0,7,17,6,0,4,8,7,52,12,48,72,9,34,0,0,1,0,10,13,0,6,19,231,77,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17487739850997827,0.0,0.0,0.07109966645448959,0.0,0.0,0.08307143164437271,0.0,0.06414241140180284,0.1334791765414374,0.0,0.0,0.054544277849868684,0.0,0.0,0.09061235489539524,0.07954491092819756,0.05608338839547345,0.0,0.0,0.07140223949661617,0.0,0.0,0.07535817703791489,0.0,0.0,0.09778826136592116,0.2657507289645981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14187514326912504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484956475950152,0.06909220060988762,0.0,0.0,0.0899602363746481,0.06403966403115494,0.0,0.08810486289944595,0.05172760744470796,0.0,0.0,0.08140956208345833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209641825316309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700359929908498,0.0,0.07104059483794133,0.08287643774896734,0.0,0.052976712428861296,0.0,0.0,0.07664230404798958,0.14417178813378445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622225590642582,0.1146014060869865,0.07701238169672615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06196860113235065,0.0,0.16762174674031946,0.0,0.13675238351076835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835829631294517,0.0,0.14185556632374588,0.08538304427730012,0.0,0.07918892137676711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053761817834480745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30856202868897603,0.06538032998291897,0.09047826259461872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22661349284911264,0.1959282006374648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735462702633259,0.0,0.0,0.13638016520163304,0.0,0.0,0.05353954861572688,0.08131845315920465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524854709102511,0.0,0.05947331098663061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16305331107051074,0.06100189605877784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121243434588073,0.14006928810987093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806313227998156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129441005373297,0.15415014293589507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086017397686334,0.06849730350925612,0.0,0.0637847231203964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730184678011151,0.08367457079279919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852444078558972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06705758692785388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809195918746275,0.06446825547723846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10657343316203076,0.05139413009554352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054456054267588185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618010610660321,0.18923532929632886,0.0,0.12867624524355886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17517741851781146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769499725743217,0.0,0.10330281008461893
bipolarreddit,Idrahaje,2018/04/15,"How can I best support my mom? My mom has bipolar disorder. She can be stable for long periods of time, but  when she gets sick she gets very sick. My parents did a good job of shielding me and my little brother from her illness. Now that I'm older how can I best be there for her?",1.7932203389830477,3.3176920508474623,3.4120000000000026,91.61732203389832,77.64406779661016,6.07593220338983,25.359322033898305,6.742157984588678,0.8521972881355939,217,8,48,2,5,72,41,59,0.187,0.602,0.21,0.1926,2,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,5,4,0,0,1,0,7,4,0,2,0,4,11,5,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,12,4,5,8,2,7,0,0,0,0,9,1,0,0,6,35,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4775748087629677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607786010031887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23775873744996814,0.0,0.0,0.19084832778433145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257966497321911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280531497412801,0.0,0.2013642323602658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5329802060986989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526543511351047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582077626358792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267941061592758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18774292450952088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,whataboutjulian,2018/04/15,"Best friend needs me and I’m not there (long post) My best friend recently moved to a new city and doesn’t know anyone. It’s ruining his mental health and I’ve been getting midnight and 1 am texts and calls from him. My boyfriend doesn’t understand that there is nothing going on and he needs someone to be there for him. I understand he doesn’t want me talking to other guys at that hour, but I’m so conflicted on helping a friend or making my boyfriend happy. No matter what I do it’s the wrong decision. When I drink and fall asleep my boyfriend will wake me up saying I got a call or text and I will be in such a confused state I will state a ridiculous lie that doesn’t even make sense. I don’t even realize what I’ve said until he starts yelling at me that I just lied to him. Last night my best friend called me twice and my boyfriend tried to wake me up and I told him some recruiter called me. It’s so outrageous and I don’t even remember saying it. This led to another fight about me lying and our relationship being put on the line. I can’t keep fighting and being the bad guy that’s ruining our relationship. No matter what I am always the one at fault. I don’t think I can survive another fight with him threatening our relationship only to wake up and get told that he still wants this. Last night I got multiple texts and calls from my best friend begging for me to talk to him and he needs someone there. My boyfriend grabbed the iPad and FaceTimed him and told him to stop calling me and hung up. I was a wreck crying my heart out in our bedroom. I wanted to lock myself in the closet and call my friend and be there for him but we were in the middle of battling out whether I’m lying or he wants this and how I was the one who needed to fix it. I woke up this morning and had a text from my friend telling me he had been cutting himself all night thanks to me. Why do I tell people I’ll be there for them when clearly I can’t keep the promise? I’ve let yet another close friend down. I can’t keep letting people get close to me. I ruin every relationship I’ve formed with people because I can’t keep my own life in check. I feel like the scum of the earth who doesn’t deserve a damn thing. I want to make everyone happy at what ever cost and don’t think about the reality of it. I want to rewind time and start everything over again and make it right. At this point I get to keep riding the spiral farther and father down. I could really use a high right now because this low keeps getting worse and worse. 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bipolarreddit,megthekittenhoarder,2018/04/15,"Unmanageable seroquel side effects after two years I've been on seroquel for about two years now, and over the last couple of months I've developed side effects that I can't handle anymore and I don't know what to do. My pdoc prescribed adderall about a year and a half ago to counteract the sedation I feel even after taking my meds at night. Lately my muscles are so stiff and sore I can hardly move and sometimes it hurts so much I can't do anything but just cry. After taking my meds and laying down in bed, my nose stuffs up out of nowhere and I can't breathe at all and my heart starts pounding and when I try to breathe out of my mouth and finally start falling asleep I can feel my breath slowing down and I panic that I'm going to stop breathing and I jerk awake. My legs are so restless and twitchy and I get so frustrated and I can't breathe and I don't know what to do other than just sob and wait it out until the seroquel knocks me out. This lasts for an hour or two every night. I don't even want to take the meds anymore because I know how shitty I'm going to feel. I don't even want to go to sleep anymore. I know when I tell my pdoc she's just going to try to convince me to switch back to lithium which I will never do. I had horrible painful acne so bad I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror without sobbing and wanting to die (her response was ""wear makeup"").

Has anyone else had side effects like these? I don't know what changed recently and why I'm feeling this way after being relatively stable for so long. ",2.1225699414443717,4.058903861635223,3.232463673823468,91.41820754716984,77.9937106918239,5.518282368249837,24.48752981999566,6.311591054244273,0.637711212318369,1220,43,255,9,29,392,161,318,0.166,0.782,0.051,-0.9903,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,20,11,2,2,8,0,25,15,12,4,2,51,52,31,1,4,6,0,5,1,0,1,3,0,1,0,13,23,0,3,12,0,0,6,12,9,0,4,4,7,37,2,43,45,2,52,0,3,1,0,3,17,2,1,29,172,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556881357530025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28719812596177097,0.0674966458436936,0.09890730884148492,0.07943670115434445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422629932361803,0.08059926475465523,0.05884433727990344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10211688677187443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10680959864482084,0.10603465479469948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001838281602516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063917572619618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550309814777635,0.0,0.08133144190440644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19523568261973356,0.0,0.0,0.10574487646015383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05043340817628719,0.0,0.2194429274498515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08647272081334248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11438957468302086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09506348635005343,0.0,0.10333831899158097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265254275401097,0.15737112554194665,0.10889105351192707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0471601190568809,0.0,0.0,0.08542680392443666,0.08106163939797498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32167218715296697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705003897916726,0.10259706405607917,0.07096131439642725,0.0,0.07445057672876534,0.0,0.0,0.1811754104893125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10271567761241256,0.11325820587578947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531261268019474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660060789200928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09547152288430223,0.0,0.13665012784505545,0.0,0.0,0.08070415011457048,0.0,0.0,0.11050477931335452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21773765759012015,0.0,0.0843722565071558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131076281733399,0.0,0.2828899721248624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17080926770011204,0.07662173085881792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871041178069831,0.0,0.0,0.09305233752185928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18648819337837907
bipolarreddit,Ok_Expert,2018/04/15,"bipolar & traveling & manic episodes & foreign psych ward !! Hi everyone. I wrote this about something I experienced last night/kind of what happened to me in my first psychotic manic episode or whatever you wanna call it. Did anyone else ever experience something like this? 




The sun was setting in the Guatemalan Western Highlands as I used some of my precious battery life to check how far I was on the map on my phone. Nearly three hours. 

Traffic had slowed to a crawl, and I felt the tell-tale ticking of my anxiety rising in my stomach. 

This wasn’t the plan, my brain told me. It was supposed to still be light when you got there. 

Fear began to overwhelm me even though I had been in situations like this before. I had arrived only the night earlier in Guatemala City close to midnight. It’s days like this my recent diagnosis as being bipolar began to make sense. 

I thought I heard the woman with her child talking on the phone on the bus saying something about “rubia,” and fright overwhelmed me. I have become so scared of my own brain. In everything I do, I question – what symptom of bipolarity is this? 

While in Croatia last summer, I was relaxed, partying, and feeling like for once, I had come out of my shell; I had become the person I was supposed to be. 

That bout of mania landed me in a Croatian psych ward. When I stopped punishing myself for the sexual assault I suffered when I was four and began to allow myself to be happy, or so I thought, I had a psychotic break. 

I heard people talking about me. 

First, it was about how great I was, how cool, how pretty, and it was flattering. I felt on top of the world. Then, I heard the other hallucinations. 

They were not so flattering. 

I spent a night in a hostel crying, while nearly 10 people in the same room tried to sleep. I felt terrible, but I couldn’t stop crying. I was hysterical. 

My hallucinations had made me believe I had been raped, I had herpes, I was tainted and disgusting, and that I should probably kill myself because no one loved or cared about me. 

That night, I spent in my head. I didn’t sleep, except for an hour, but then I was woken up by the hostel staff and asked to leave – my reservation was only for one night. I wandered around the city and I felt like everyone was talking about me. I wanted to cry or sleep or escape, but I just didn’t have the mental capacity to do any of it. 

I muttered and wandered. I felt so foggy, like there was a weight on my mind. Why were people following me? Why couldn’t I see them? 

The next two days are kind of blurs in my mind, but I know I managed to leave all my belongings behind, including my glasses and my ability to see, have a delusion that I could speak every language I had ever heard a word of, and start to become aggressive. 

The next clear memory I have, I was waking up in a soft, warm bed. It was dirty all around me, and I felt so groggy and tired. I was in and out of sleep the whole day, waking up occasionally to eat a meal. There was a layer of grime and shame on me that a cold shower couldn’t get off. All I wanted to do was curl up in that bed and become an invalid. The delusions were still there, but weaker.

So, when this perfectly friendly, normal Guatemalan woman was simply having a conversation with her mother, and I thought I heard words that might pertain to me, it freaked me out.  

I have a mantra I internalize when I am projecting my fears onto speech around me – no one cares about you, no one is talking about you. 

It sounds pretty emo. 

But, when I thought, just for two minutes, this Guatemalan woman was planning a way to rob me, it’s extremely comforting. 

I went home after I ended up in the psych ward because clearly I needed to meet with psychiatrists and a whole host of doctors and a lovely therapist who would try to help me and have varying levels of success. 

Throughout this process, my goal was to continue to travel by myself. I saw this as a hiccup. A pretty major hiccup, but one that’s able to be overcome with a can-do attitude! 

It wasn’t about or feeling like I had failed, but an urging from deep in my motherfucking soul that told me if I stayed in the relative warmth and comfort of my parents’ house now, I would never leave. 

That’s probably a symptom. 

 
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bipolarreddit,gentlegiantlover,2018/04/16,"Mania-like episode, how do I bring this up to my psychiatrist? So I have not been dx'd with bipolar. I do have the following formal diagnoses as of now: borderline personality disorder (BPD), double depression (major depression and dysthymia), generalized anxiety, bulimia, alcohol abuse.

I'm trying to figure out how to present this to my psychiatrist. I think I've been in a manic episode for the last 2-3 weeks or so especially. I had started thinking this on Saturday and my significant other said he thought I seemed like I was manic for the last few weeks.

My psych doc put me on 20 mg of prozac which I initially thought was making me really zombie like but then I went on a tinder spree. I have promiscuous tendencies when drinking but I usually don't actually do anything. I hit on an old boyfriend once, but otherwise have been faithful to my SO.

In the past month, I have had sex with 3 different guys and had a multi hookup with one that I've basically been texting nonstop. I've been pounding energy drinks and alcohol, and tindering, and wanting to go out and do things and talk to people and dance which is weird for me because I'm introverted. 

My SO confronted me Friday night/Saturday and everything kind of crashed back and I'm having a what the fuck did I do moment.

I felt GOOD last week. I actually felt like I had some energy despite still not sleeping any better than usual (I have bad insomnia). That never happens, and I want to cry because if it is actually bipolar, I'm not going to get to feel like that again. My psychiatrist thinks my baseline is a depressed mood (which I'm now in again). So basically I get to spend the rest of my life depressed and I don't want to have to live like that.

How do I bring this up to my doctor? I have been drinking a lot, so I'm worried she is going to dismiss it as a by product of that instead of something else. I've taken mood stabilizers in the past without much improvement in the depression, but the focus was on the depression. I'm assuming my doctor has ruled out bipolar already.

Is it weird that I would have a full blown manic episode for the first time at 26?",5.22379917184265,6.243021852657003,6.479810213940649,74.94054347826089,68.39613526570048,10.068875086266392,33.384748102139405,10.208560254849939,3.5312052449965483,1693,77,315,43,28,572,198,414,0.152,0.7809999999999999,0.067,-0.9886,1,0,6,0,1,0,47.0,0,0,0,2,17,22,2,0,20,0,39,17,1,4,1,52,74,32,0,5,10,0,3,5,0,1,11,1,0,2,19,19,5,0,11,4,1,9,7,11,0,2,21,4,40,9,49,51,8,53,1,6,0,2,6,17,1,6,32,217,59,3,0.0,0.10100255475816902,0.2495633585259481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822040697267967,0.0,0.0,0.09407106614163678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057970194191597005,0.0,0.06521294652639667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015018365695394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06554890188114347,0.07117683819937046,0.10393032458224652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539314782853639,0.0,0.0,0.1073643361198569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363871358904073,0.0,0.0,0.4405334607940129,0.08652288212561443,0.0,0.08906391245829468,0.09769928616821603,0.1745057592171198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25052584055278304,0.0,0.0,0.07121208339388181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766135961875732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04310293225027775,0.060899749958910385,0.1636990312496127,0.0,0.0,0.07251019277180279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880854110417765,0.08907501934498895,0.0,0.1453417762740088,0.07150028920777476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08440692922601982,0.0753827445436269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877057718223977,0.0,0.2084605704664011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06021176145670964,0.20823441589650374,0.0,0.07527376806893765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247308949970617,0.0,0.0,0.05690235809385837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804253332048693,0.0,0.0626656087817158,0.0,0.06574696022108661,0.0,0.0,0.0799975838325343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.089451323163563,0.09078419374842367,0.05776488679745863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16275388025263565,0.05909883373372464,0.0744335075290351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569576177167973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05461076195290138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108845452281642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760474471134107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530755037059128,0.0,0.0,0.06562652533336646,0.0,0.0,0.060337548172168826,0.0,0.06807755512606545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851749507978863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05663364572424145,0.16386655865977495,0.0,0.13535158280243648,0.049707620397262765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05787642930188381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18777282186024655,0.0,0.1508408748771077,0.0,0.20513756580881995,0.0,0.0,0.07902388374954895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0821740892057461,0.0,0.0,0.08657143747157488,0.0,0.06055630315215795,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,fhdiakalapwiey,2018/04/16,"I am confused with potential diagnosis - am I actually fine? So the last couple of weeks for around 8 days, I felt horrendous, I wanted to die so badly, I couldn’t find a way out. That was just after I had been overly happy, cleaned everything, started volunteering for a charity and was feeling productive and somewhat irritated this lasted around 4 days. 

Now this week (or more so right now) I feel flat and annoyed with everyone, I feel as if I’m fine and normal, I’m not worried about passing my exams because I feel okay but flat, I’ve been like this for 2 days now. I went to the doctor after years of feeling unstable recently and now today I feel as if I’ve been dramatic by going to the doctor, they said it sounds like I may have bipolar and I am waiting for a further mental health assessment.

Many people around me tell me they think I’ve got bipolar but I truly think I’ve messed up by going to the doctor in the first place and actually everything is fine.

When I am not feeling okay I know that actually I am unwell but I feel fine now and I don’t want to talk to any other professionals about this potential bipolar diagnosis when I am fine and feeling as if this is just who I am. Sometimes I’m a bubbly funny person, sometimes I am very low- now I’ve had a professional say it’s potential bipolar I am in total denial of anything being wrong. 

I feel irritated. 

Can anyone relate? 

TL;DR,  I was so sure I was unwell but now I’ve finally spoken to someone I think I’m fine and I was being dramatic. ",3.0192993145468385,4.9080812079207945,5.194603960396042,78.57664318354914,75.20462046204621,7.961868494541763,27.165397308961662,8.730908602173464,2.264480172632648,1198,47,224,25,26,417,142,303,0.1,0.742,0.159,0.8955,0,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,2,1,20,18,1,1,10,2,28,8,0,0,2,54,56,27,1,7,12,0,11,2,0,1,8,3,1,1,11,16,0,1,16,0,0,4,4,6,0,1,14,14,33,12,33,38,3,41,0,1,0,0,8,12,0,7,26,154,44,6,0.0,0.0,0.28603686365300857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644249632582264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06831734646230905,0.0,0.08040258248019752,0.2609334960012226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815792818446493,0.05955983333758118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810831064133798,0.0,0.1890342032054355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140197653960643,0.0,0.0,0.3000144753861904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933609574798576,0.17562123619516054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4940239475834618,0.0,0.0938117633899501,0.10703064235920662,0.08930025837963003,0.08310750522763558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11105558147298353,0.0,0.07814331514831639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400839151811636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10385544889420206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05369590742375718,0.15928462181231806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546709032842124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09905715573178207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846328294804513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572978912829998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773608572424943,0.0853119110515742,0.10208053912524956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647153130808683,0.0,0.0,0.08343921702051582,0.0929394737559778,0.07769864041899227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278481280974459,0.0,0.1932647474446479,0.0,0.06915583738581974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208545401128372,0.0,0.0,0.07853127764325005,0.08539814990146992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18781553820041386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261256144065896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0806165491627482,0.11525744007551687,0.07755338458959504,0.1567455155488211,0.0,0.0,0.09057316745098512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992237907141611,0.0,0.0,0.10682467094179324,0.0,0.06291857597222704
bipolarreddit,csg1234,2018/04/16,"Invitation to complete an anonymous online research survey regarding mental health treatment preferences Hello, You are invited to complete a survey for a WMU psychology department research project designed to assess treatment preferences among adults seeking treatment for a variety of concerns. We hope to learn if and how preferences for treatment change over time, and if patient’s perception of their treatment’s match to their preferences is related to the benefit received from treatment. The survey is open to anyone ages 18 or older who is currently engaged in mental health treatment for at least one month and four therapy sessions, and not longer than one year. If you choose to participate, you will be asked to provide some demographic/background information, respond to survey items about your preferences for treatment and how they have changed over time, and about your quality of life. The survey may take between 30-40 minutes to complete. Your responses to the survey items will be anonymous and kept confidential. Clicking the “SURVEY” link below will take you to a page asking you to read through a consent form explaining the purpose of this research, the content of the survey, the type of questions you will be asked, the amount of time it may take to complete the survey, and the risks and benefits of your participation. At the end of the form you can click “AGREE” to consent to the use of the answers you provide and to begin completing the survey. Thank you for your time and interest.

https://wmichcas.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_afS6lEMGYYG0JjT

Project Title: Treatment preference, retention, and treatment outcome at a university-based outpatient psychology clinic Principle Investigator: Scott Gaynor, Ph.D. Student Investigator: Chelsea Sage-Germain If you have any questions prior to or during the study, you may contact Chelsea Sage-Germain, M.A. at Chelsea.e.sage@wmich.edu or (269) 387-4497 or Dr. Scott Gaynor at (269) 387-4482. You may also contact the Chair of Human Subjects Institutional Review Board at 269-387-8293 or the vice president for research at 269-387-8298 with any concerns that you have.",12.05735632183908,12.405996919540234,9.683908045977011,60.06856321839082,53.94252873563218,12.101149425287357,46.3448275862069,11.429527900616536,5.784458620689657,1760,94,233,38,18,523,173,348,0.006,0.925,0.069,0.9619,1,0,0,0,0,0,61.0,1,18,3,0,5,7,0,1,27,0,19,5,0,3,0,50,31,24,0,11,10,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,2,4,15,0,1,15,1,0,2,1,1,0,3,1,2,22,6,56,19,8,27,0,0,2,0,37,13,0,17,12,162,26,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09173608115428844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560177794998513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021011615896352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.321723988359901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24270264832808916,0.0,0.6013728847836507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160182055642422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438694724228226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393606195879764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08102530492827192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312077904551756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915629584154974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15546522651645947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570100090254664,0.0,0.11474421370091305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25875008438091074,0.0,0.0,0.10561247536876557,0.13118450803343035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675606893076998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990753481747005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738715209038921
bipolarreddit,fujiwaranofuckboy,2018/04/17,"(xpost from /r/bipolar)Weird experience with latuda monotherapy? Advice? Throwaway account cause i don't really use reddit, i just needed some advice

I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 about a month ago and started taking latuda about 20 days ago. The initial 20mg dosage gradually killed my (at the time) current hypomanic episode within a week, which was fantastic! I also noticed some, but not all, depressive feelings being held at bay, which was nice, if not quite optimal.

However, I bumped up to 30mg about a week ago, and 2 days after that, I had a psychotic episode until the next morning-I felt incredibly debilitating dissociative symptoms and I felt like my body was acting seperately from my mind in a way that was trying to kill me. I couldnt really talk, and mentally, I felt completely void and couldnt form a coherent thought. (my experience was a lot like that of this blog post: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/bipolar-mom/2012/03/i-had-a-medication-induced-psychotic-episode/). Since I have bp2, mania with that much cognitive and physical impairment isn't really normal for me.

Anyways, after that experience my psychiatrist recommended that I cut back to 20mg latuda (which seemed to help with hypomania to some degree) until the end of the college semester, and we planned to experiment with med cocktails after the summer. With all this in mind, I'd like to have some sort of plan going forward. Is there a safe way I can continue to ramp up my latuda dose (i.e. in conjunction with a stronger antimanic agent like lithium)? Or should I quit latuda and try a different drug entirely?",8.95834907685702,10.239132821167882,8.395882352941175,63.57558823529415,60.2043795620438,11.702533276084154,35.82567625590382,11.442366930564873,4.5672793473593805,1299,54,197,36,17,411,159,274,0.054000000000000006,0.815,0.131,0.9642,4,0,1,0,0,1,61.0,1,0,0,4,8,10,3,0,16,0,17,6,1,2,2,47,29,14,2,6,6,0,4,4,0,1,5,0,0,0,11,16,1,2,6,2,1,3,6,4,0,0,12,4,22,6,37,13,9,35,0,1,0,0,3,9,0,9,26,130,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20470655534349694,0.2785440429650606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08376263672452236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08054061070486124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634544016586325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10759952516058664,0.0,0.0,0.10982064603215544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510065170072447,0.0,0.0902146665823415,0.10631155620238356,0.0,0.10943374633738742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146818758103778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09277087356178207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4098335301918774,0.0,0.0,0.05296101669105596,0.0,0.3017080279821761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059527645702154436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07020677144035448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23176438398313354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046878168178632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08904843133083126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634544016586325,0.0,0.1055559269378656,0.0,0.21152037828749254,0.12267329260200792,0.08360456133155111,0.0,0.07699787878404138,0.07766532679558204,0.0,0.0,0.1113949664484402,0.0,0.10262553029372393,0.0,0.11925016902561746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031447804593444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22281334238690767,0.0,0.0,0.20130241663177728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09535374893052632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664417904390267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413736674082155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10886768917141017,0.07875341613218143,0.08418815173593314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08315394175896802,0.061076265026380964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14222672928503774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09046399511611422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16627963546255115,0.16803642628734766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,thedogtrain,2018/04/17,"possibly bi-polar diagnose. Goodmorning people!

Just a short introduction..

For a long time now, I've been experiencing symptoms such as;
Indecisive as F. I CHANGE MY MIND ALL THE TIME. I can't seem to relate to anything...
It's really bad. I can't stay at a job, as soon as I get an idea, let's say traveling or doing something else, I quit my job, leave my apartment, and the idea just slowly dies.  Then I start aaaall over again, finding a job, a new place to stay, new idea, BAM. Same vicious circle.

I have mood-swings like crazy. Depressed periods/days, and not so depressed periods/days.
On my depressed periods/days I; 
Tend to isolate myself, disable all my social media, turn off my phone. 
I get irritable and angry about the smallest things, for no reason. 
My creativity/confidence level goes to 0, so it's like i've never played on my guitar before, or sung a song. 
And of course, the overthinking everything like crazy, it gets so bad that I can't even answer a ""simple"" yes or no question, without having to overthink it. And I always know that as soon as I answer the question, I would/will change my mind straight away.

On my good days/periods, I get crazy.. hyper and active?
Spend money on random stuff
Get 1000 of ideas, but never follow through with one of them.
Confidence is SKY HIGH, and I can do everything. 
I sleep 3-4 hours max, and im good to go. 

Relationship wise; I really quickly lose interest. All of a sudden, I just cut off contact without letting the person - Or i do the opposite, and get way to clingy and deep. 



So yesterday, I've simply had enough. I went to the doctor, told him all this, and he referred my to a psychiatrist, which I will be seeing in 4-5 weeks...  He couldn't tell me 100% what it was, and im just clueless on what to do. Can anyone of you relate to any of this?

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bipolarreddit,drfunkadunk,2018/04/17,"crosspost from /advice I'm at a crossroads with career due to mental illness I'm 26 I do tier 1&2 tech support and other IT tasks at a decently sized fortune #### company.  I've been diagnosed with bipolar for 6 years. Anxiety and previously depression for 15


I've been having one of the worst depressed episodes in years. We're going on 5 months now. Typically when I have an episode and I'm working the either the collateral damage from the mania or stagnancy from the depression lead to me losing my job.  But with this one I have short term disability insurance and FMLA so my job is protected. 


I'm at home thinking about what I want to do with my life and if the life I lead could be contributing to the stress I feel. I went to high school for writing and was a college drop out for film.  I have a passion for the arts, a talent for the science, and an interest in a lot of other fields.  And surmountable debt from my previous studies.
  

Part of me knows the reasonable thing would be to go back to work, but it feels like a big ol wall is blocking me.


The tricky thing is that the disease makes you feel like moving and making changes and starting new projects and idk if thats what that really is.  I could use some outside insight


I'm trying to figure out if it makes sense to go back to school and apply for disability/scholarships/ect or continue down the technology path.
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bipolarreddit,MrReeRee,2018/04/18,"New Art Subreddit Hi everyone! This morning I created the sub reddit r/Manicart. For all you artists, writers, poets, photographers,song writers to post to... if you want to. I love seeing everyone's creativity, and I think a one stop subreddit would be sick. ",4.057826086956523,7.059048260869568,5.698,70.59700000000002,77.26086956521739,9.76695652173913,35.286956521739135,9.888512548439397,4.716500869565217,204,12,32,7,5,69,38,46,0.112,0.675,0.213,0.5983,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,2,0,0,1,7,6,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,5,1,4,4,1,3,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,2,18,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6242216802909643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29479810105389165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3154631872531248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22133427284429646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31282313313827353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260283386990844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730789484235264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092925744067197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19265599575040904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320299764685306,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Dragonrun,2018/04/18,How do you cope with mixed hypomania? Help please,1.753333333333334,3.756916000000005,1.898333333333337,89.46750000000002,111.22222222222223,6.2444444444444445,15.611111111111107,7.1686216300943375,0.5618444444444441,40,1,8,1,2,12,9,9,0.0,0.583,0.417,0.6124,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.521145663467226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8534677483357558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,PirateBean,2018/04/18,"I quit my job Just couldn't do it anymore. I did it on good terms though, face to face with the GM, giving my two weeks notice. My ability to deal with customers has been diminishing and I feel I'm a threat to others. Every day I dread going to work a little more. Every day is a little more difficult and I feel as if I'm going to snap. Next week will be my last. I'm glad I had the guts to do it yesterday and didn't wait, because fuck, I feel like I'm barely making it. I feel like a caged animal that yearns to run, to soar, to live.
I don't know if I'll be able to make it to the end of next week. We'll see. Every day there I feel like dropping everything and walking out the door, but I care too much for my managers.

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bipolarreddit,LittleAmbitions,2018/04/18,"There's no amount of meds I can take that will properly medicate my overwhelming generalized anxiety without screwing everything else up It just feels cosmically unfair that the fact that I need to take multiple mood stabilizers seems to mean the balance is such that it's impossible for SSRIs to lessen very much of my anxiety. I've been seeing my pdoc for years and she's great and I trust her, and we spent two years figuring out the formula for my comorbid cocktail. Before I was diagnosed bipolar obvs life was miserable, but I was able to take a higher dosage of the SSRI I still take (Lexapro) and maybe I'm remembering with rose colored shades, but I feel like back then, while my life may have been spiraling out of control, the anxiety wasn't quite so paralyzing. We've tried multiple times to increase the Lexapro, but every time I become catatonically emotionless within the week, so I know at least for Lexapro that's not a viable option.
My pdoc seems to think that the anxiety is more situational than chemical, but I can't help but feel this isn't a normal (or completely unmedicateable) level of crippling anxiety to feel constantly. 
At the same time this isn't an ideal point in my life to go gambling with switching up my meds again. 
Is it really just impossible for some of us to find chemical relief from anxiety in a way that won't throw off the balance of the mood stabilizers? I know I should pursue DBT or CBT but $ makes that really difficult right now when I already pay my pdoc out of pocket and am broke as a joke. Is it pessimistic or deluded to think there's no way something other than medication could treat my anxiety the way meds did in the past? I know therapy could help with depression and such, but what of the every-second-of-everyday anxiety that is definitely not entirely situational and has not improved with changing situational circumstances? If the anxiety was caused by something specific I might be more optimistic about CBT/DBT, but it's just... generalized. It doesn't go away.
I feel my options are a. try another drug and start over so to speak, or b. accept that this is my lot in life as a bipolar person.",8.894113300492613,7.926573559113301,9.126014778325123,65.79010591133007,60.94581280788177,13.440197044334974,38.772906403940894,12.516099999999998,4.9999974384236445,1739,75,309,54,20,578,208,406,0.134,0.7879999999999999,0.079,-0.9526,0,0,3,0,0,0,38.0,2,0,0,3,16,16,1,2,23,0,31,11,0,3,1,72,56,29,0,7,20,0,5,1,0,5,10,1,0,1,21,16,1,1,17,2,3,4,12,6,0,1,9,8,32,8,52,39,9,41,0,4,2,1,8,18,1,13,17,210,53,1,0.07727348268390449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527320966856113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08102798419314702,0.5320260247172744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07260098066902987,0.059418538376495474,0.0,0.0,0.08534249055517061,0.06575404230307398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938115267682118,0.08174509858141621,0.0,0.08101977640454243,0.08350518287364778,0.08666878152759916,0.1233931762451692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06655553740570358,0.0784309583301311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08961270720624936,0.0,0.06455207926567554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510624193916946,0.0,0.06944842361336645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19535897326674906,0.05520419146935328,0.0,0.0,0.07062656324591478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783260195474038,0.0,0.0,0.08519428745836298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358957317582798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12740245562074992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183221842720811,0.03775192040497899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06569515165196481,0.0,0.0,0.051580649729933065,0.0,0.0776315996179847,0.08417347614047263,0.2575002576063785,0.15568980844268368,0.0,0.08197495370041219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05680490097354285,0.057297308281371376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757116063163621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737662828986059,0.0,0.06747222450241275,0.0,0.0,0.07304841813319506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08218986061532689,0.0,0.0,0.09900674341583718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753579231567712,0.06599113199691825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061576961067542485,0.14069375289276814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26057589650614793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11897780442172262,0.0,0.0,0.054694568768100256,0.0,0.061710703089592964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23240016869887986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836896189983802,0.0,0.0,0.0990274550747387,0.0,0.0,0.13517636750961404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10492724475550036,0.0,0.07548496430598893,0.0,0.0929504852357627,0.0,0.0,0.06375871594800445,0.0,0.18400828130978408,0.061984126744405725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07448887979662384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952317867557324
bipolarreddit,ffggghghhh,2018/04/18,"Trileptal? in addition to lamotrigine (lamictal) (which has worked fantastic), my doctor JUST put me on trileptal. i was wondering what your experiences with it have been?! especially women in their early twenties. thank you so much. ",5.947297297297298,9.759084810810812,6.431135135135138,62.134810810810826,79.27027027027026,10.527567567567568,34.42702702702703,9.888512548439397,5.407415135135135,186,10,24,7,5,60,35,37,0.0,0.917,0.083,0.4857,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,2,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,4,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,6,1,5,4,1,5,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,1,21,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4141098275908373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3957617029511512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29741648143754024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4067196096190992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3724874530442852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4387551066281888,0.2945426533165628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,maisondj00,2018/04/18,"Am i BiPolar? Ok so I have been struggling with these severe mood swings for almost 4 years. I thought it was just severe suicidal depression but recently within the past year i have been experiencing these nights or grouping of nights where I would stay up and do a ton of random projects and crazy work ideas. Nothing ever got done but after not sleeping and all, I would crash. I would hit a depressing suicidal low and not know when it's going to end. Currently this is the longest depressive episode at almost 3 weeks. It's to the point where my grades went from A's to F's and my parents think it's anxiety. I go to a therapist but she doesn't know the full story. I also am being evaluated but that takes months. Ii am taking AP Psych in school and we are learning about mental illnesses and i realized i may be bipolar. 'm trying to keep family out of it while also getting help. Can someone help me? Do you think I have bipolar disorder?

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bipolarreddit,broombraised,2018/04/18,"Starting to worry I was misdiagnosed, please help. Okay so I've been medicated for 3.5 years now after the initial symptoms started (extremely rapid mood swings) after a nervous breakdown. And since I've been medicated I haven't had any kind of significant mood swings.  

Except I do still have minor mood swings but nothing like before and I'm wondering if I'm actually borderline instead.  

So my question is, how well do meds work? Will they always keep me truly stable 100% of the time? Is it normal to get into an episode while medicated?  

Thanks!",3.8394545454545472,6.815939600000004,4.947454545454548,75.7837272727273,78.0,7.236363636363637,28.09090909090909,8.296473431620573,2.5291,440,19,71,9,11,144,76,100,0.058,0.752,0.19,0.9189,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,1,7,9,0,1,4,1,11,4,0,1,0,11,19,8,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,4,0,6,5,9,14,0,10,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,3,10,43,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.17837744822039114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15209658466692402,0.0,0.0,0.12430400889555025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1555415035320959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955006460771508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252081695411675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16247285749837245,0.0,0.19034848458940928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08930234941221141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030393662257816,0.5524274867736972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17909616912976548,0.1753926978839006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20064940207770413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20476752425628175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120643469264936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587605313151133,0.0,0.14597696516263176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18998962555228813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16828920549702645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10658678264240894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643508771716359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19822882005489306,0.13307387592928469,0.1856329253961183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771127907347227
bipolarreddit,not_the_fatidiot,2018/04/18,"Journaling Advice I've been journaling as a routine for a while now and I feel I need a little more structure.  My typical entry is food, caffeine, nicotine, water, exercise, sleep, and how I feel.

The static items regarding diet are fine, I don't want to get granular there, but for tracking the emotions I feel I need to better ""standardize"" what I am trying to say.  Has anyone encountered this?

For instance, I can have entries that range from ""feeling scattered"", ""feeling lost"", ""feeling confused"".  Well really this is me saying I am confused.  So I was thinking of focusing on Robert Plutchik's theory of 8 basic emotions and sort of seeing how that works for a while.

The reason for this is so I can trend the states over time and see if that uncovers anything.

Essentially, instead of figuring out how I feel, I have a list of ways I could feel, then I just check the box.

Any thoughts?",5.92015334063527,6.9623039397590425,6.360514786418403,76.33941401971525,66.83132530120481,9.409857612267249,34.36801752464403,9.573946990214177,3.3968144578313257,698,32,121,14,11,226,107,166,0.027000000000000003,0.884,0.08900000000000001,0.8151,0,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,0,0,0,3,10,6,0,2,10,0,15,5,1,4,0,31,32,15,0,5,3,0,8,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,7,5,3,0,12,1,1,0,1,3,1,0,4,13,17,3,18,27,2,11,0,1,2,0,2,4,0,4,5,88,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14858159295963025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339927854149723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631696168415757,0.0,0.12512427258237452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13447595270559076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139962833658145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34207178272396344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6150487725428783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838595782804952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07943989894100469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15239414006761692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16598064001603907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254864374744494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740718424831432,0.15633282144898125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418326765924549,0.0,0.0,0.24232847926186565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15215990364476253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742756128835324,0.0,0.12071079117801475,0.08866163308172262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032320335963307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968308544509478,0.12069028797009325,0.0,0.0,0.13671129578362062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11069427998392826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,tigerjack84,2018/04/18,"Hey, I’m new here! I just wanted to ask some questions. Does anyone go through the whole ‘range’ within a few weeks? Ie, a (I presume) brief period of hypo/mania, to the depressive stage, to anxious to eventually ‘normal’ to then swing back round to it all? I’m in denial, and don’t want anything to be wrong. I’ve had from what I remember in the past, two massive depressive periods - the childhood one I can’t remember too much about it. The last one, I was physically ill with it. My mil likes to remind me of how my body was ‘here’ I most definitely was not. Any manic episodes I have managed to keep myself in check, but this is I presume the anxiety’s doing. I have an irrational fear of repercussions, (that and a poor credit rating) and normally contain it to getting new pets or some other thing that is a huge distraction. If I had access to money, I dread to think. 

Drinking, I can go where I literally want to drink ALL the time, to never wanting to touch it, I also get suicidal after drinking (a bit like how you feel after a manic episode, where you just think what a d**k you’ve made of yourself, and the shame over what you’ve done, well, what you remember anyway) 

I still don’t know a lot about this illness, (only recently been referred) I see the mental health team every week, but I kept fobbing them off when bipolar was mentioned ‘I’m not bipolar!’ And for anyone from the UK, we pretty much only have Stacey from eastenders as point of reference *facepalm* . I never act out on suicidal thoughts, (health anxiety there too).

Also, does anyone ‘forget’ a lot? Eg, I literally washed and changed my daughter (she’s 1 1/2) and literally 5 mins after, I couldn’t remember what all I did.. did I change her nappy? Did I wash her? Did I brush her hair (for that one, I can see her hair has been brushed, but I can remember doing it) I forget if I have eaten, went to the toilet. 

Work, I struggle so much. I get anxious over it, I can’t face them when I go back after being off sick. The looks I’m given, the questions as to why I was off and if I’m feeling better (all in good heart) but I get so ashamed I can’t manage. I struggle to get up and ready to go in. When I’m there I struggle with deadlines, and adherence - everything is timed. I accidentally got a new job, in a completely different sector, where I’m looking after people with dementia. How Can I actually look after people when I can barely manage to look after myself? I’m treading water, and poorly. I’ve four kids, (the elder three are teens) and they’ve to help me so much, as my partner. I’m terrified of another massive depressive episode as before as I CANNOT spend another year or more ‘not here’ I struggle talking to doctors about this, so will be glad when I finally meet the clinical psychologist who’s been assigned to me.

Also, cbt, doesn’t seem to work anymore :( i can’t take hold of my thoughts, which in turn make dealing with them impossible..

Whoops, sorry for the dissertation here! ",3.897658662092624,5.314144104631222,5.283846483704976,80.77973198970844,71.93310463121784,8.181646655231559,28.515866209262434,8.710501217029153,2.2240192109777017,2315,89,444,42,44,776,275,583,0.161,0.7659999999999999,0.073,-0.9953,2,0,3,0,0,0,102.0,1,3,3,4,36,20,0,9,28,0,44,20,5,5,6,80,91,42,2,10,14,1,6,2,1,1,10,1,1,2,22,18,5,4,19,4,6,7,14,13,1,6,23,15,66,7,73,63,17,63,0,3,7,0,26,21,0,13,36,315,88,11,0.0,0.0,0.06429317552565884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580619758527516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04480330637194909,0.13817001228655929,0.1008019953489548,0.14886009156217833,0.0653391181464513,0.138202649207801,0.0,0.05421683011865065,0.0,0.061592546114091075,0.0,0.0,0.10132129361579413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05606234021106906,0.0,0.0,0.0582689492007463,0.07192814717983624,0.0731821524615825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13939284542037925,0.0,0.0690780081273248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792340054448079,0.1702371010334669,0.0,0.0,0.06883464532419742,0.0,0.06743495603993947,0.11531087717945092,0.0674220967529628,0.0,0.19362339810832346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055510021249100525,0.0,0.0592121946478867,0.0,0.0,0.07413769623401659,0.0666257515976542,0.0,0.0,0.07217258420410011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17210807370295653,0.0,0.14977333833603304,0.05526028345654999,0.05269336769559496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006299439399114,0.0,0.07807273020922594,0.04416058458379528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06537959757153615,0.05856063111964675,0.0,0.0,0.036208064480735366,0.05370416605361472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06437508421489667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22130350674256152,0.0,0.0,0.11202425928901552,0.0,0.0623409323913301,0.04397801005357062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06639546790469808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937289676796627,0.0,0.10162743951051594,0.19089322269966624,0.0,0.0,0.1291044529755393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13393389258833865,0.10021533866169967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06289363061370717,0.09135119145006268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062281574270182265,0.0,0.0,0.06702760468405809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14761007638922774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06505239586682217,0.0,0.37316803633360457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500186512095044,0.059978221596558086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375162401724665,0.0,0.0,0.052614961911038184,0.0,0.0,0.2755045988052243,0.0,0.14413257071119676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049536488048345234,0.05295497741049941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043770330869642264,0.0844314764869873,0.0,0.10460890319226886,0.07683485545411302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166275635111602,0.0643589899802239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15544010791006382,0.0,0.1056961695286814,0.0,0.059237531981826276,0.06107502870579558,0.05944996568526133,0.07355701348308542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592851729138256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203369417093544,0.0,0.04242706688723349
bipolarreddit,thoughtss213,2018/04/18,"Overreacted and feeling guilty I completely overreacted over something so minor and I ended up getting really upset and saying to my boyfriend I wanted to die. I do not want to die, but I wanted that moment to end. I also said nobody cared for me which isn’t true because he does. Most of all I feel embarrassed and majorly guilty for saying saying I wanted to die. I don’t know why I did that and I wish I could rewind time. 

He has been my absolute rock and I am just throwing it all back in his face without meaning to. It’s like I can’t stop myself from saying horrible things and/or reacting so badly towards nearly everything. I don’t think we will talk about this again but I just feel so awful for saying I wanted to die. After everything he does to make sure I am well and okay. I feel so guilty and I can see so clearly it was a total overreaction once again. 

He knows the cycle of the bad days- mad, sad and guilty. He knows how my day is going to be before I do. I just can’t believe I’m acting like this towards the man I am so in love with. 

It’s been a bad couple of days after a handful of good ones.",2.134008620689656,3.8247305905172446,4.090896551724139,86.39375862068968,77.14655172413794,6.708965517241379,21.944827586206888,7.554174236665415,0.8559424137931027,875,24,181,12,20,298,126,232,0.273,0.58,0.147,-0.9888,0,0,1,0,0,1,18.0,1,0,0,0,16,16,1,2,6,2,20,3,2,3,6,45,43,19,4,7,7,0,5,2,0,1,0,6,0,1,10,11,0,1,9,1,0,3,7,7,1,1,5,12,30,9,29,35,5,23,0,1,1,1,16,7,0,1,15,127,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08349569564084543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028393781653914,0.2615310106493171,0.06364664759101113,0.0,0.08884421575631211,0.11763298628892767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064517504841924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094706613204953,0.0,0.0,0.08336194695569274,0.11552637345456065,0.0,0.2020051541425712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4334394845780078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18273772398031304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18495044870005145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18767183021242909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21116894612614565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05454929914056526,0.0,0.059337938514393264,0.08757316458222589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17214107085435762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201775112823062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942330364523276,0.0,0.06969369810504712,0.0,0.0,0.11373181348629165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11119198577634418,0.07075011856088304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06688696363961227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09931669720956564,0.4151504216792297,0.0,0.0,0.08320031169318726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037901059781433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872904486465916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840407723263883,0.0,0.0,0.08391985458894792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936458065908323,0.06690095601960645,0.0,0.0,0.0608816225818421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079151359083713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938760681849969,0.0,0.0942127203067392,0.0,0.12006499028013988,0.10064637665307252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,IAmMissingNow,2018/04/18,"Fake clarity So interesting how clear everything seems to be while manic. I know the answers to problems that have been plaguing me. I feel like everything falls into place. I am finally cured of all my anxieties and feel silly for worrying about them in the first place. I spent money on hobbies I've given up on because I know I'll suddenly get good at it *this* time. Oh and no I don't need to see my therapist again or take my meds because I'm *cured* finally!

But of course this lasts for maybe a week until I hit reality hard and everything takes over. But it won't happen *this* time. No of course not.

Fml.",1.870668348045396,4.276684049180329,3.642131147540983,85.66535308953344,81.45901639344262,7.688272383354351,24.13871374527112,8.617729084823388,1.911074905422446,482,18,97,12,13,161,86,122,0.125,0.7559999999999999,0.119,0.1898,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,0,1,1,4,6,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,1,2,19,21,10,0,2,4,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,6,0,2,1,5,2,0,1,3,4,12,4,17,15,1,21,0,0,1,0,1,9,0,2,12,59,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253375180557344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997512706866096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4417477743436024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656853381709263,0.11704767100156975,0.0,0.358958472776073,0.0,0.139362627819338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855998880601748,0.0,0.0,0.13742162050509749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14488359457125902,0.0,0.1467688877183828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18008488502264236,0.13355185795898805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004418218302356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16459978290699004,0.0,0.18198983708126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12148563923296678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34235685796952336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15677321135285532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055964933951453,0.1491542187490515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463753001588384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19023142423186026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1910734018597875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1314229496237887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16638795952598626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,studiospectre,2018/04/18,"Tell me about Lamictal (lamotrigine) Hey Yall ,

I'm Bipolar type 2, 
currently on 20mg cymbalta
and regular dose of dioxizine and clonidine (which doesn't do much)
I was on clonazapam for around 15 years till they pulled me off, and it hasn't ever been the same. I've been off for about a year and a half now. 

My main symptons now are tons of anxiety, and occasional panic, lots of moodiness including intense fear, anger, and resentment, especially to those I love and don't intend to hurt. 

I'm thinking of trying out lamotrigine, have you guys had any luck with it. Of course, I realize individual results will vary.. Thanks guys, stay strong. ",5.214916666666666,6.920517991666671,6.031666666666666,75.56666666666669,69.08333333333334,10.333333333333336,31.666666666666664,10.504223727775694,3.589416666666668,509,22,94,15,9,167,89,120,0.131,0.733,0.135,0.138,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,2,1,1,6,10,2,2,3,0,11,3,0,2,1,18,16,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,4,10,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,6,0,1,4,0,9,4,19,11,5,15,0,1,0,1,8,6,0,2,7,62,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16152616487696192,0.0,0.1817071220758846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21144894321013571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21485631756118215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2672833483778649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4703771569872169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542770304904064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20193653595469974,0.2143769395668921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17460930737502794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786861693687229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531716446957664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20760863007808664,0.2186824881646975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521973900611607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612649015976735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30591855629493525
bipolarreddit,ywkwpwnw,2018/04/18,"I got a new job! My greatest accomplishment was passing the state electrical exam with ADD but with the help of Ritalin. After being laid off from work several times because of being bipolar I went through depression which caused me to want to quit the trade. I have had a divorce from the field and don't want to be an electrician anymore. 

Hit with child support I found myself without a job for a long time. I worried I was going to jail for non payment and finally found a job at McDonald's making $7.25 an hour at 10 hours a week. Not enough to pay child support. 

I responded to an ad for a job remodeling fire/smoke/water damaged houses and aced my interview. I got the call today on the job offer. $11 an hour at 40+ hours a week. I went from $200/mo to $1760/mo. 

I used to make $4000/mo. But I'm happy I can finally pay my bills. Being jobless, a felon, a divorcée and not having filed my taxes since 2012 had me in crippling depression. I've since found a website I could file everything and will be doing that soon so I won't go to federal prison for tax dodging. 

After years of drug abuse with alcoholism I have also been sober three years. 

Small victories. ",3.0794604157452454,4.615432563025212,4.665011057054404,83.92751216275985,74.21008403361343,8.035736399823087,27.232198142414866,8.6894789155246,2.034652100840335,922,35,186,18,19,310,142,238,0.123,0.774,0.103,-0.8691,6,0,3,0,2,0,31.0,0,0,0,4,3,6,0,0,21,0,19,4,0,4,0,25,37,9,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,2,2,10,1,0,3,0,6,5,5,3,0,1,12,0,21,3,33,16,2,31,0,3,0,0,8,7,0,0,18,111,23,14,0.0,0.11599648244328505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10462622072165988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782912636149257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709132311371536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05967944127549125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09996770008279142,0.0,0.0,0.10057112715891947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07816585171809592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16864369412246435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11353388893439825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115773469483266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798695920481157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144911621612602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3220296422756206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127860306906656,0.0,0.15660048479428967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10421726096145942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562086707545642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3856504135026797,0.11296442095570793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4857573696231051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663915958320212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069913721329748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09455323799447564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10412959051842427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060007893131996,0.0,0.16196916733971606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22219341826911115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417353017483405,0.0,0.09279854580088548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455488946208832,0.0,0.0,0.11548889983562212,0.0,0.1570602915789215,0.0,0.0,0.18151011260857985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437291283046813,0.0,0.07127297499853928,0.09942305173176123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260898578607256
bipolarreddit,Salty_Order,2018/04/19,"What would you do if the one medication that saved your life gave you a debilitating illness? Lamictal is the only thing that has ever helped me. Lamictal saved me. I have been on everything under the sun and I owe my life to lamictal helping me.

But it also gave me a recurring, disabling fever condition. I get recurring fevers once a month around 101-104 degrees, they last 2 weeks, and my only symptoms are cold sweats, chills, and really awful flu-like aches. This condition leaves me housebound half of my life because its like having the flu constantly. I have done extensive testing for this through a rheumatologist.

My periodic fever syndrome started after starting lamictal 3.5 years ago. It started exactly a month in as I titrated up the dose. I am 99.9% sure it's tied to the medication, and my rheumatologist thinks that's very likely. I've had 6 attempts of getting off lamictal, and I absolutely cant and possibly never will be able to get off of it, so I'm stuck. It helps me too much, so I end up suicidal lowering my dose. Rheumatologist started treating me for the fever syndrome anyway in case treating the inflammation would help, but I've only had a slight reduction in symptoms. Psychiatrist says there's really nothing else for me to switch to with my history of everything I've tried, and it's down to either getting off or finding a way to treat my fevers. (I take lithium as well, but it doesn't help depression like lamictal does)

Apparently 5% of people who take lamictal have periodic fevers as a symptom, and even lamictal-induced lupus is a thing which is terrifying. I don't know where to go from here. :/",6.481875000000002,7.6095218585526325,7.222868421052631,70.35107894736844,65.61184210526315,11.08,35.92368421052632,11.00357731598739,4.352821578947368,1311,63,225,38,20,435,168,304,0.078,0.8240000000000001,0.097,0.7001,3,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,0,3,1,1,12,11,0,0,17,1,22,19,1,0,4,27,40,19,1,3,6,0,0,3,0,3,18,1,0,0,18,10,0,0,3,0,1,1,4,1,1,2,7,2,30,10,35,29,2,34,0,1,0,0,13,13,0,2,22,151,48,1,0.10649795687165824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09440401304770396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08516637763361304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09480576049380604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06492016603066479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11508645728594875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172653420057436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319707973545488,0.10898438518057156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08896537744692229,0.0,0.09432557951998916,0.0,0.0,0.07034089610757774,0.09633349911351158,0.0,0.0,0.19142699321669132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733720320753143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225631476974788,0.0,0.060525243136542575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569166780524412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058528491934478816,0.086810048943358,0.0,0.11276595923603935,0.0,0.0,0.2256679693716325,0.15608856692371528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21457097478976814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17001130625036553,0.0,0.07828825211263933,0.0,0.08213778973020879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10218766188413636,0.0,0.0,0.11341684835100528,0.0721657717650228,0.24298948554788485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383227395149396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006044476073532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13645063641604707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469144981933817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.301519208062942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649147949974388,0.0,0.10037306399998852,0.33207646358713616,0.16014641946644576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14150502071914653,0.06823959056433403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230512200636703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787196778743388,0.0,0.08453312109286337,0.08542623714471324,0.0,0.09575445311807332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513061859719398,0.0,0.0,0.0685811925526765
bipolarreddit,SkinnyJoshPeck,2018/04/19,"Distinct likes during episodes? I’ve noticed that while my personality stays the same more or less during episodes, one thing that doesn’t is things I can or can’t stand. For example, depending on my episode I crave candy, or turkey sandwiches, or goldfish and string cheese. Each is distinct, and I feel like I can eat it for every meal every day while the episode is happening. Then it will shift to another one of those foods. 

Anyone else have anything like this? Where cravings and things become the characteristic of the type of episode you’re going to have? ",6.641997226074897,8.04833719417476,5.729153952843276,80.19514563106799,65.40776699029126,8.604160887656034,32.190013869625524,8.841846274778883,2.595325658807212,453,18,81,7,7,136,69,103,0.0,0.917,0.083,0.8095,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,10,4,0,1,2,13,13,10,0,0,4,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,9,4,4,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,6,3,8,12,4,9,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,5,7,54,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139503891974308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426672840548598,0.20905982733226872,0.16790491240427682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2253426300947159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13158686512935558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20878059800334087,0.170446576203518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3438196307306258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316714349945892,0.1457639402955373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467221247224451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595882311255284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804290802898983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2990462422590591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23229726445712814,0.0,0.0,0.2765212506128286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17815707543577938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21747609517340247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40665897772832055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,Rosertot,2018/04/19,"(Slight TMI) Should I get my prolactin levels checked? If I'm understanding correctly, Latuda can increase your prolactin levels. I'm pretty sure that's happening to me because my breasts are feeling pretty similar to when my milk came in after giving birth.

I see my psychiatric med manager on Tuesday. Is this worth bringing up or am I worrying over nothing?",5.392708333333331,8.252208687500001,5.901250000000001,71.75208333333336,71.5,8.641666666666666,37.22916666666666,9.2995712137729,4.324091666666666,292,17,42,7,6,94,52,64,0.034,0.716,0.249,0.9183,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,1,0,2,8,15,3,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,2,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,9,1,7,13,1,13,0,0,1,1,2,6,0,2,4,26,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16383801392593794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30739812032897723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13589679129080845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041978910927438,0.25782602541666483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376699813063781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29853981263406737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2578894139445677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.546865810053719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21417269159917174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2533099414695194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797961737680293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729461768751028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,VanApe,2018/04/19,"Coming out of an intense manic phase need help keeping it together. I don't know, I can just feel it. The kind of really instable feeling with the piercing headache after feeling kickass for a couple days.
 
I need help keeping it togeter til it passes. I've been keeping it together for so long and I don't want to land myself on the streets or in jail again again, does anyone have any advice?",3.215844155844156,5.410655779220782,4.331168831168832,83.60246753246757,75.62337662337663,6.477922077922077,29.181818181818183,7.447530270364453,1.949394805194805,313,14,56,4,7,102,56,77,0.016,0.846,0.138,0.7926,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,5,0,5,0,0,0,0,16,16,4,0,3,2,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,3,4,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,3,5,1,11,15,0,13,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,6,37,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21128754450382964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14703691911848268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15118595329272533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862542637516739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23924316223543704,0.0,0.13944392210994244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18921545633886014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3279817732940528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898552285300877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5765584381194998,0.0,0.2251597111113013,0.11882878027555455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19134777182818194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3206485725714168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385159787757175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12753207533836075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,m7meds3ed666,2018/04/20,"Depakine chrono 500 a day for a week now and I feel like shit My anxiety started hitting levels i don't know exist.. I feel tired all the time, can't foucs much, motivation is low also.. I just want to know if these symptoms will go away with time or I should stop the meds and wait for my next doc appt

Ps: my final is 2 weeks away so this is really important decision for me to make",1.0187962962962978,2.981630679012348,2.9266512345679025,92.11368055555558,81.71604938271605,6.519135802469138,20.001543209876548,7.6454224807358475,0.5481469135802475,299,8,68,5,8,100,62,81,0.17600000000000002,0.752,0.071,-0.8245,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,1,0,4,0,7,3,1,2,1,18,17,6,0,3,3,0,2,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,6,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,2,9,1,8,14,2,15,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,2,11,40,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690721922642083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617354292166812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3972713815519722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363481634089819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21380022278779853,0.1510382174620192,0.0,0.23159985759246635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12015464117122104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323813860876207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328894621890304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14112423682659803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348395346421557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15541774560566615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248471624236959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544082110639366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21701919986669904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496438939092838,0.0,0.0,0.17675626753130316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197459344013228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465609590892187,0.2429957500005376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12470076848822065,0.0,0.3391761301173021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,youareseeingthings,2018/04/20,"Hello. Im writing an essay on the importance of maintaining good mental health services in the U.S. Could I get anyone to fill out a form? https://goo.gl/forms/5EawJzNB7v2fLj872

Completely Anon and would help a lot. 

Edit: I apologise. How do I make sure the moderators approve?",5.646159420289855,9.355772021739126,5.356521739130431,70.31420289855075,78.78260869565217,8.284057971014493,27.231884057971016,8.841846274778883,3.1936057971014487,227,9,32,6,6,70,40,46,0.0,0.7240000000000001,0.276,0.9074,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,6,0,3,1,0,2,1,9,5,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,5,3,2,4,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,0,21,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22656092617886395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3397267184738104,0.0,0.0,0.2587020151630633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16928603672005876,0.0,0.0,0.27177093360919063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3444159925499076,0.0,0.0,0.21718244189793656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3499950522497145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754685248564823,0.0,0.0,0.21628453751835752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32653394393220503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053831395501844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23017309756271026,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,cirezitro,2018/04/20,"Take that Seroquel Semiconscious thoughts at 4:00 AM on Seroquel are unintelligible. Memories are photographs, they lie horizontally and twist and float across a black screen and cannot be intelligibly linked to the jumble of words that come to my mind when I try narrate what is happening to myself. I want to panic for fear I've lost control of my conscious self, my own perception of my own experiences and my own story. But what is more likely? Do I have a story over which to have control? Aren't I a random smattering of continuously altered star manufactured material - simply an unlikely accident which happens to be consumed with its own importance.  Why does it make sense to believe that my very own particular microspeck of cosmic trash that happens to exist at this time in this place fits into some narrative that makes sense to try to tell? Perhaps a failed Seroquel dream is simply a more accurate reflection of being. And that's how I narrative myself back into a story of a legitimate human experience with a basic grasp of high school science. Take that Serorquel.  ",9.695647668393784,9.47585962694301,9.48415025906736,61.44135492227983,58.94818652849741,12.486839378238347,40.02538860103627,11.792908689023552,5.024809740932644,880,40,137,23,10,287,121,193,0.093,0.877,0.03,-0.9157,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,4,3,5,0,2,10,0,14,0,0,5,0,27,25,8,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,15,10,0,2,6,1,0,1,2,4,0,0,2,2,14,1,29,20,8,16,0,2,2,0,4,11,0,2,5,99,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245039658244502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18242470042030653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947692018166247,0.0,0.0,0.3632067468568849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14169441584488213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31677124987111305,0.0,0.18220132943080813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.429547271475172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17107390818952822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910433235712472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767512306453792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21616134043845506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634897334338888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18997438808337594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691685138067778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16386836847148906,0.0,0.0,0.16891445530296156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24348245052698636,0.0,0.14152235307999778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12854379216051806,0.09441494355431583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21986165348456774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13359825415263554,0.0955026786194066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14610465839509806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,a_little_motel,2018/04/20,"I don't think I am ready to go back to work. I used to be diagnosed with bipolar, but it turns out I'm not. This, however, is the most helpful mental health sub, so I'm going to post it here.

I have very severe depression. I have been hospitalized twice, last time was two weeks in February. I get SSDI.

I am not good at understanding myself and I told vocational rehabilitation I was ready to go back with my Ticket to Work. I'm not ready. I'm an idiot. What do I do? I have a meeting scheduled with a ""job developer"" at the end of the month who is going to help me get in the work force.",0.5459243176178674,2.5777271532258084,3.4509677419354863,87.30991315136481,83.91935483870971,6.718610421836227,20.02233250620348,7.882392219407189,0.7678146401985111,453,13,103,9,13,161,75,124,0.185,0.755,0.06,-0.9438,2,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,4,3,1,0,7,0,14,3,0,1,0,13,29,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,5,5,0,0,2,1,0,4,4,2,0,2,4,0,14,1,16,24,1,18,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,1,8,68,19,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717246417875012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521812893305142,0.17933480559777334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15649330298266095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846245858368423,0.0,0.4016639075197602,0.14819768077819104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18781129623013126,0.0,0.0,0.2368607545154341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17533577687728386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440244667498027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17806014993382704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410308369951665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16921845622090906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19960737576825752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11321466537434832,0.0,0.0,0.10302831137466258,0.0,0.0,0.16883314865299384,0.0,0.0,0.1921860262942455,0.1725986993858877,0.18393864934683815,0.0,0.15260187657174495,0.0,0.1457862707933575,0.0,0.0,0.14172861783821025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.385893345830868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,BearMom22,2018/04/20,"BP ladies, has your cycle exaggerated your episodes? I feel like my birth control is helping with my episodes. My pms was SO much worse in conjunction with my BP. Has anyone else experienced this?  I started Yaz last month and this month has been a breeze compared to previous months. I still have episodes unrelated to my cycle, but they aren't irritated like before. ",3.7472727272727298,6.894011227272728,3.8971969696969713,81.81579545454547,80.66666666666667,6.936363636363637,27.946969696969692,8.07648339933343,2.2418242424242427,295,13,52,6,8,91,48,66,0.054000000000000006,0.7979999999999999,0.14800000000000002,0.7538,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,1,1,2,2,0,0,1,0,8,1,0,1,0,6,10,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,11,2,5,8,1,8,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,9,32,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775756663047963,0.26021339357534856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161023860537868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848392255210894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21215210298019216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284104787516273,0.18143002435820796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17022492571945833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20701237910370868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24814535477607294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.608128530218566,0.0,0.186690798161892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17975513597309029,0.0,0.20281384559218785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2588082910264365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,L4r5man,2018/04/20,"I slept through the whole night! Wow, it's been a long time since that happened. Lately it's been more like a couple of hours of continous sleep. Maybe today will be a good day?",1.2558333333333316,3.614478472222224,1.6866666666666674,99.00000000000004,83.72222222222223,4.711111111111111,17.333333333333336,5.985473137389443,-0.5676999999999999,139,3,31,1,4,42,30,36,0.0,0.7340000000000001,0.266,0.8685,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,0,4,2,2,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,3,3,1,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,17,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3135813072454157,0.0,0.18277223463395087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377059593246345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506133584466429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2790960054075811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196922312305341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13845695491173204,0.0,0.0,0.2508037591031769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28471756596030906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2659556012886406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344348457616405,0.0,0.28360882624613204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16525524194650806,0.0,0.26863400150851524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164106182842863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
bipolarreddit,throaway4321ada,2018/04/20,"Can you relate to this type of psychosis/paranoia? 
I have BPD (borderline) and OCD. I also think I have some bipolar symptoms although I'm not attempting a self diagnosis or asking for one, I'm just curious if people here can relate to these experiences.
I'm 21 now, and when I was 14 while being hospitalized I went through a time for months - years where I was convinced I would be some sort of Steve Jobs/Elon Musk type figure. I'm pretty sure I was manic/experienced grandiose delusions. I can see this now, but sometimes still have these kind of experiences, it's like I'm looking for the ""ultimate purpose"", or ""meaning to my existence"" and it feels pretty great when I feel like I've found it for a bit but it doesn't stay that way consistently. Idk how to describe it exactly but kind of like there's a missing puzzle piece, sometimes I think I've found it and feel very driven, other times it feels like the puzzle is in disarray. Also I'm curious to hear from anyone who knows what it's like to dissociate, sometimes when I dissociate I'm just completely numb, but other times I think there's hints of mania... where I'm stuck in my head/dissociated but planning and ruminating frantically at the same time.
Also things like lack of sleep/drugs/stress often give me extreme paranoia, normally not lasting long (but sometimes months). I was concerned at one point that I might have been part of a government mind control/illuminati thing(and I'm still not completely sure I'm not). I've only once had an experience that I guess is a more obvious break from reality, where I heard voices mocking me..
Thanks if anyone took the time to read, would like to hear thoughts",6.352358490566036,7.096601311320758,6.6782955974842775,75.5021603773585,65.76100628930817,9.75622641509434,32.8811320754717,9.766711354998122,3.1095177358490576,1339,54,245,27,20,433,167,318,0.071,0.773,0.156,0.9802,1,0,1,0,0,0,45.0,0,1,0,3,20,18,1,1,11,0,21,3,0,1,4,53,57,24,0,6,16,0,4,7,0,3,3,4,0,1,20,5,0,0,13,1,0,3,5,4,0,2,14,10,22,14,26,38,8,32,0,1,2,0,8,8,0,12,25,150,42,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20889039160715914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176323183111648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08139902723878617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950582754069236,0.0,0.10966206266259504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825832189090429,0.0,0.09765680561262603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25551454074052105,0.0,0.0,0.17610154836126593,0.12440615641072715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19093629772290285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352581737295353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599537253189773,0.0959178111911653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08935930287285385,0.0,0.1962692337940743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18134074962631985,0.04785158940290705,0.07097395953297636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2977672376670996,0.0,0.0,0.07705452323461186,0.07311716802552942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094845140918146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923678858468305,0.08791623644537858,0.0,0.1389974515258595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531046001035733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272708520731524,0.1180022503675508,0.06622092766190765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428870830195074,0.0,0.06036362019655204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230962803684484,0.0,0.0,0.17716370449508087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08709391634874293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06938379900119288,0.0,0.09083336842959992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871332350426751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3444592254599325,0.0,0.0,0.09280541215091186,0.13906899415494298,0.0,0.09973879618312803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16412555618265418,0.0904994363185822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08016268357659026,0.0,0.0,0.11569134836897367,0.16737350104778909,0.0,0.06912413512338121,0.2538571177270547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967383668882792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07184216069153028,0.0,0.06911239411413922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08071509036213294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370456244378253,0.0,0.0,0.05607045318143828