[30F][36M][61F] My boyfriend’s mom is suggesting I leave him. I’m not sure how to take this. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over a year and have grown quite close with his parents. His mom especially. She and I go for coffee once a week and I join the family weekly for dinner. His mom has expressed how much she loves me and told me today she wishes I was her daughter. She has told me on multiple occasions how much joy I have brought to their family and how special I am. She is a kind, gentle soul with such a big heart. I am so very fond of her. To give some perspective, my boyfriend is a bit of a handful. He has quite the temper if I am being honest and has a short fuse. On top of this, he has a bit of an alcohol problem, smokes cigarettes and is overweight. He does not eat well or exercise. I rarely drink, do not smoke and workout and eat healthy on a regular basis. Clearly, there are some important lifestyle differences at play. I acknowledge that. I do wish that he took better care of himself- not for me, but because I genuinely care about his well-being and I want to see him do and be well. His mother is well aware of his temper, alcohol use, and smoking and wishes he would seek professional help from a mental health professional to work through some of the underlying issues. She seems to think I deserve better and should leave him for the reasons outlined above (among other things). I find it interesting that she would throw her son under the bus like that and encourage the demise of his relationship. Is it possible she really doesn’t like me and is just turning it around on him so that she can get me out of the picture? I’ve never had someone go out of their way to tell me their own child is someone I should run for the hills from. Should I be taking his mom’s advice and not looking back? We certainly have some issues but I am totally dumbfounded by this. TLDR; my boyfriends mom thinks I should leave him because he has a terrible temper and doesn’t take steps to care for his well-being. Does she not like ME instead so is turning it around trying to make it about him? Should I be listening to her advise as his mother and run for the hills? I’m shocked she would say this.