To vasectomy, or not to vasectomy...Me(35M), Her(33F) I honestly don't know where to start. My GF of 13 years has asked me to get a vasectomy. When we got together she had 3 kids and we have one together. I almost got one a couple years ago, had the appointment made, but I never went through with it. I guess I need to share a couple things to set the stage in a sense. Our relationship hasn't always been the greatest. Things in the beginning were rough. I was struggling with alcoholism which I ended up getting clean, a lot of thanks to her. But I wasn't truly dedicated to the relationship as much as her. Now here's where things get complicated. During the middle of our relationship she expressed her fantasy of other people in the bedroom, and we started experimenting. I still wasn't %100 into the relationship so the idea of other people was alright with me. We had some good times, some not so much. About 3 years ago I became friends with a girl in my AA groups. She wasn't comfortable with this. Mostly because me and this girl had talked about her being invited into our bedroom and my gf wasn't okay with that. So I stopped talking to this girl. She was so upset about this that she claimed that she wanted to break up and see other people. Which I didn't want. So she went out to the bar one night and met some random guy and went home with him. She came home the next day and regretted her decision. After some lengthy talks we agreed to try to work things out. Things actually got better for a while, though I could never really let the one night stand go. It really messed me up. I became really angry, jealous, paranoid and bitter. She kept talking about how much she wanted to have fun (threesomes and whatnot). I haven't been able to get behind the idea ever since that one dreaded day. I don't think I ever will. I think she's always going to want more of those experiences. When she drinks she gets real friendly and impulsive. I honestly worry the lack of excitement and the wrong situation could lead to those impulses getting the best of her, and her cheating on me. Now, I have to say other than her wanting the occasional excitement and my jealousy, things have been really good between us lately. I'm %100 in the relationship now. I know this is what I want. Her, our family, I can't imagine life without them. I've actually proposed to her a couple times. She says she would, but she's worried about the financial implications(and tax bracket) that would come with us getting married, and that she takes narrative really seriously and wants to know The relationship is real and serious before she would. So when she asked me to get a vasectomy at first I was like, yeah of course, 4 kids is enough. But the more I've been thinking about I can't help but think that she won't get married to me because it's a big deal to her, but she wants me to get a surgery that I can't undo. Which is a big deal to me. If things don't work out I can't ever start another relationship and have another kid. I don't want to be like "I'll get the surgery if we get married". I just don't know what to do. Is that wrong of me to think or say to her? I really am not interested in anyone who has something to say like "you guys have a toxic relationship and should just break up". We're working on things. Relationships aren't perfect, they're hard and they take work and communication. I just don't know how to think about this, or communicate it. This is getting too long so I'm gonna stop here. If you have any questions or comments please let me hear it. Thanks in advance.