content: It works so well. Surrounded by men in a church deciding who would take me home pretending to be oblivious. I was being groomed and prepared. The vileness is right there if you understand humans. I remember them hugging me. remembering what i felt. love is a hell of a drug. It was  small group of men in the church and everyone on the upper circle but not super old. I even was asked if there was anyone i liked. It was so sweet and loving. The sweetest feeling i ever had but it was a drug and they were addicting me for life.  Its real its right now every second of every day every moment. I feel guilty talking about this. I feel wrong that im betraying them. I was fucking 6 but the programming was so ingrained and so well done it was now just the tiny seed of doubt left. They had controlled my actions for two weeks always playing sleeping or doing something. No time to think at all exactly what they wanted. I knew there would never be anything that tasted as sweet again. The poison i was being offered would addict me forever and nothing else would be this good. I would feel pleasure few people comprehend. IT would fill me forever and last until i died. I knew that. I understood that.  I know this redpill is pretty big. Its why its a suppository. I desire nothing but that what happens to me happens less and to fight against it. Sex..jerking off food nothing tastes like it used to before they fed me that sweet poison of love and pleasure. They knew precisely what they were doing. Thats even more damning isnt it. Tell me how you maintain sanity turning that down when they punish you by putting you in the slowest dumbest public school classes from the private school where you got everything you wanted and could focus without the massive distractions and if you complained its your own fault for turning down the church.  I remember asking to wait but they gently opened my lips and gave me just a small taste of the poison they never forced anything but that small sweet taste to taint everything else forever. They choose that. They made that decision. A gilded cage is still a cage.