content: That's no dachshund it's Ralph, my trusty demonic hell hound... ripped from the netherworld on a dark and moonless night with my bare hands amid the howls and gnashing of teeth of it's once master who I bested at tiddlywinks in a seedy bar just outside of Manila  - I never leave home without him. PS: Be careful about what you say about the xmas lights, Ralph likes them.