Parenting can be done in yoga pants. So what, you got a disabled kid. Watch a YouTube video about the parents with like 10 kids who adopted a kid with no arms or legs and said, “Don’t be a pussy” learn to cook learn to dress yourself.  Don’t give in to disabled manipulative kids. Giving in tells them they will never be able to.... so they don’t. Nature doesn’t “feel sorry for”  Sure, you can motivate, encourage and keep expectations reasonable. It’s the giving in to foundational rule breaking that says you’re a liar.