Ziggy the secret is to get them to talk.  Most girls and women I have dated & gotten close enough to share secrets with were all abused as children. It's a sad fact,  that most females won't share what happened unless they are really into a guy and then they finally share what had happened to them when they were young. So like you said ask questions and then really listen to what is being told to you. God bless every man woman or child that has ever been molested.