James Woods United Airlines Now you're at 35,000 feet in a horrendous thunderstorm with a drag queen in the cockpit... #FlyUnited? Fly how you identify.  "Good afternoon, this is your Captain speaking, I'm not an actual pilot but I do identify as a pilot. Should this flight experience difficulties, please move in an orderly fashion to the safe spaces at the back of the plane... ... as those will be the last to hit the mountain."