Soleimani at the Pearly gates Having been martyred, Soleimani arrived at the Pearly gates. Standing next to St Peter was George Washington who boxed his ears. He next met Thomas Jefferson who punched him in face. Soleimani dropped to the ground in pain....and James Madison kicked him in the head. There was a long line of people lined up behind Madison clamoring for their chance. Soleimani cried out to St Peter and asked what was going on. St Peter explained - These are the 72 Virginians you were promised.