That makes me so sad for you!  And I cant help but think that could have been me.  I felt very hurt and disappointed by God at a young age.  I blamed him for bad things happening and him not stopping it.  The way I saw it, I prayed and prayed and bad things happened anyway. Later I grew to understand that I did not have a loving relationship with God.  Loving him changes everything.  Spending time thinking about him and imagining he is  here with me like the bible says he is made me love him. That lead to faith for miracles to happen and miracles did happen. All things come together for the good of those WHO LOVE GOD!  I pray that God would become real to you.  That you would hear his voice and feel loved by him as I do.  If you will commit to a relationship with him that isn't just about you getting what you want but about you surrendering your life and loving him,you too will see how real he really is.