I'll go ahead and also say I've been deeply aware of this my entire life. I've felt the immediacy/severity of it without any external knowledge and It's well past crazy like you said. A constant sense of alienation and total awareness of what I'm living under slowly destroyed my social life before I had the chance to enjoy it. Not many would believe me for claiming I even remember "jumping down the hole" so to speak but I'm not looking for approval. The connection I have isn't some novel thing. It's a forgotten normal. When everyone is poisoning themselves out of ignorance and ejaculating into their sock every night it's no wonder they can't see god, let alone themselves. Also, yeah, I genuinely don't think I've even been to this planet before.