Jerry Nadler, How is it You're Still Drawing a Paycheck? Jerry, when you applied for your current position with our company, aka the United States of America, a position description was made available to you. Upon hire, you agreed  to those expectations delineated in the PD and we trusted that you would fulfill those performance expectations with the best interests of our company as your guiding beacon.  Jerry, I am sorry to tell you that in the last couple of months, you have been concentrating on tasks that were not assigned to you by Management or the shareholders. You just don't seem to have the best interests of our business as your focus, and our investors are noticing. Your most recent Federal Employee Annual Performance Evaluation reflects your shoddy attitude at work with an overall rating of "Does Not Meet".  The Management and many of your co-workers suspect that you have DIVIDED LOYALTIES and as such you are not working up to your full potential to further our business goals and expectations. I know that we can agree that our company operates in a highly competitive environment and I just don't see any effort on your part to keep us at the top. In fact, I see just the opposite. Jerry, we are presenting you  with a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP). I know that you will agree that the Direct Deposit that appears in your bank from the US Treasury every two weeks is contingent upon completing the work that you were hired to do. I'll give you a couple of minutes to read over this PIP. If you agree please sign and date at the bottom. Or not, in which case... YOU'RE FIRED.