Sounds like you need to identify several areas with affordable housing and start job hunting. It's worth the effort, even if it means uprooting your famliy. You'll be trading short-term pain for long-term gain. My husband and I have done that and now, in retirement, we have 2 acres on a salmon river, a high tunnel full of fruit trees and berries, and 1/2 acre in cultivation. We've added solar panels hooked to the grid and have ultra-insulated the house and garage/workshop. Small livestock - chickens, etc. are the next step. You can do it. Just do it step by step. But you have to move to somewhere that it's possible. And if you have any debt, get serious about clearing it. If you need help, look up Dave Ramsey. He says the paid-off home mortgage is the new BMW, and he's right.