I think they all feel guilt. I think the ones playing proud might feel the most self hatred. It's like how someone who hates themselves doubles down on whatever they did to make it worse. A psychosis. Watched my borderline personality mom do stuff like this my whole life. And i have to fight it within myself. Self sabotague is the milder form that I suffer from. Some people cut on themselves, some starve or binge or both, some prostitute themselves, some mutilate their bodies, some murder their babies in the legal way.