Oh my God, look at what the fats dragged in TLDR: Fat cunt monkey stomps my ankle at a show, from day one of three tainting an experience I've been waiting for years to have and spent a lot on with the pain of not being able to put any weight on one leg First of all, if you got the title reference, we can be friends. Second, saw the concert weekend rant, and it got me ranty. Not to derail someone else's tale of fat hate, here we go: I was at a concert last September. I went all out. Three days, front row touching the stage, backstage pass, actually got a tattoo of an autograph from my favorite artist and got to hang out and hear his unreleased album on his tour bus! I dropped like 2 grand on tickets, travel, merch, and party boxes of booze and mixers for the band.  Fucking awesome ass time. Right? Fuckin RIGHT?! Except I spent the whole time limping after the first show. Apart from some pair of morbidly obese ham hocks sloshing their beetus laden barger-maker beverages all over me fucking twice, one of the nacho cheese scented sweat effervescing trundle monsters decided to be all jumping around like we're moshing. It's a concert, I get it, there's some thrashing around, but this ain't a pit, and she's banging around into everyone like it's free LSD night at a Sex Pistols show. Clearly there is effort to try to jostle me from my position of front and center. Motherfucker, I've been a fan for 14 god damn years, never gotten to see this band because I was either deployed or a broke student. I am NOT moving. Until it decided the place to land its gargantuan elephant stump was on my god damn ankle. I went down like a whore when a carrier makes port. Guess what happens when you hit the fucking floor in a large unruly group of writhing bodies? Did you guess the very fucking ankle that got fat-fucked gets stomped on again? Did you guess that it was by the same obese cunt? Well if you did, you win all the internets. So every band member I got to meet after the show, I got to waste my time with the same conversation, answering, "Jesus, are you all right?" when they saw how I walked. I couldn't put any weight on that leg. I've walked away from sparring with 4th dans who throttled the piss out of me in better condition. I was gimping around just dying for something Mama'd say was my magic shoes to make it stop. Why in the 80% HFCS snail trail slobbering land manatee exploded hot pocket lookin cunts are fats allowed out of their god damn pizza box crowded hovels? They fucking ruin everything! I'm trying to be cool, already trying not to fan-boy flame like a 12 year old at Comic-con meeting Stan Lee, hanging out with the band after the show, when one of the guitar players give me a frozen bag of whatever for my ankle because just SITTING there he could see me wincing. Yeah, that's totally cool. We're partying, and I'm a wounded little bitch. Fuckin fuck fuckin fat fucks, and fuckin fuck fuckin America for hiring one to lead it. Ermuhgerd, Dernerld Trermp! We're gonna make America Great again! Fuck you. You're a fat orange fuck, and Barry Hussein may have been a herpderpalicious nincompoop, but at least he fuckin looked like he knew what a fuckin salad tasted like. God DAMMIT I hate fuckin fat fucks. And I'm fuckin sorry I rant forever, but I'm new here, and I don't get to vent like this elsewhere, and I got a million fat fucks fuckin shit the fuck up fuckin stories that make me want to face fuck a brick wall into dust I get so fuckin mad thinking about them.