I'm Tired of These Mutha Fuckin Fatties on This Mutha Fuckin Plane! Short story, nothing special just an airplane fat.  Sooooo I'm going on vacation and YOU GUESSED IT, got seated next to a crisco cruiser.  We'll call it the USS Exxon Valdez (Because tons of oil and grease).  So Exxon is of course invading my space with it's arm fat and side gut (I THINK it was female?  Not sure, never found out).  A few funny moments arose when the super tanker blew it's horn in my direction a few times, signalling its intention to set a course for the lavatory.  Me being the Shitlord that I am get up and let my seat return to it's upright position.  Now I stand there in the isle and watch the Exxon Valdez struggle and wiggles for several MINUTES as it tries to get through the seats.  In typical fashion, like a super tanker navigating the Panama Canal.  While I'm standing there staring at it I notice other human passengers giving me looks like "Fuck, dude.  I'm sorry", a few smirks and giggles, you know the deal.  I should also include the several times that Exxon was pestering the fight crew about when refuel and resupply would happen (food).  Oh, and it smelled about as good as you'd expect 53.1 million gallons of crude oil to smell.