Tales from the office I work in an office (I do accounting and analysis) like 90 % of everyone else, so this is probably something that happens a lot out there. But I fucking need to vent. I always eat healthy, lean lunches (white meats with garlic and aubergines with fresh pepper f.ex.) and I like to discuss food and exercise with a few of my colleagues. Everyone has worked together for so long, that it's rare we have anything else interesting to discuss (let's face it, we're office rats, so our lives are quite boring). But of course, among those of us that eat lunch together there are two fatties. And they hate it when anyone talks about improving themselves in any way. All they want to talk about it how tasty cookies are and fucking cats.  They're sort of trying not to bitch about me and my buddy's topic of discussion, but I am so sick of these passive-aggressive stabs these hamplanets keep giving us. For example:  Me: Last night's workout was fucking epic. Finally managed 250 kg (550lbs) leg-press. It was awesome. 3 x 6 reps, real slow and controlled. Stoked, man.  Him: Heey, nice! Now you're getting somewhere. I really need to work my legs more, I've been too focused on my shoulders.  Then, basically interrupting my buddy, one of the hams starts jabbering away to it's fat cunt of a friend: "AAAAnyway, as a life-enjoyer (in Norwegian it's "livsnyter", there are no good English translations), I had a great weekend. Sooo much chocolate and wine!" And the fat cunt friend immediately followed up with how she lurrrves deep fried shit.  And variations on this is every single lunch. And every single time management orders a cake or a treat like that, and I naturally pass (who the fuck eats cake during office hours?!), I am told by these hams "oh come on Lucifer! You need some meat on you! You are disappearing! Have a slice!".  Fucking fats.