All 3 of the advice columnists pile on in chorus that the guy is the asshole  It's a very common pattern!  I've seen it on more radio shows than I have the links to.  Notice Nia's reaction to the asker on the "Girlfriend Cheating...on her diet" episode of the Bill Burr podcast.  Asker's significant other gets a stressful job, smokes high-THC/munchies/[whatever the fuck it is, I know there are varieties that don't make you so hungry] marijuana, gains 70 pounds with all the dangerous health risks thereof--and when Asker packs healthy lunches for her at work, she secretly eats McDonald's instead (she never is an adult about it or comes clean).  Nia was mad at the asker. America apparently programs all non-NAWALT women with reflexive fatlogic where not wanting your significant other to die of diabetes and sleep apnea makes you "shallow" and "an asshole."  Never mind that none of them want to fuck a fat neckbeard.  It's a very distorted view of reality.  Women don't have to like male sexual preferences, but they're how our species survived in the first place, they're not harmful--unlike losing a foot to diabetes that you'll never get back.  Fat-shaming isn't nearly as painful as medical complications.  Nobody claims that alcoholic-shaming is worse than cirrhosis.