Trying to catch me eatin' dirty, trying to catch, me eatin'... dirt-ayay.  My FUPAs so proud, I let it hang out. Swangin'. They hoping they gonna catch me eat-eat-eat-ing. These skinny bitches, think they can catch me, stealing all, their candy. I got her chocolate taped to my left sleeve, and that whore's credit card, ice cream drinks for me. They see me sipping a Dasani, bot-tle, well bitch this is iced tea. Eat at Starbucks, I get the extra shots. The doctor acts, like he doesn't think I'm hot. Say's I'm too fat. I say fuck that. My size is perfect, not zero, six, twenty-two or twenty-eight but a number being crunched on a Cray Titan (.FAT) Next to my beetus cup is a Danish, cherry. Fuck it get two, then watch Drew Carey. My picture is getting a little too scary. Lets feel better, eat more Pillsbury.  My tumblr's tricked out. I picked out. The selfie where you can't really see me. Other bitches wanna be me. Everyone looks when-ever. I have that trouble breathin'. If they can't handle me. They just too skinny, I'll make up a story For /r/SRS and This is TP. I'll wear a corset, eat a cake the size of Dorset, husband's at war he can't divorce it, if I can't think of a rhyme then I'll just force it. Because, see, I'm lazy. You better think I'm pretty. I deserve this, that must be. If I'm not a princess, why is that what the plate of my SUV says? I'm too big to be a Disney princess?  That's not my fault it's patriarchy. Guess back to T-I-T-Pee. Hundreds of reblogs, they really get the special snowflake that is me. As for the rest, screw them all, get more food at the mall. I'll go to Wetzel's Pretzels. Pretzel balls. Feeling super trigged. I should not have lingered. Seeing the stores, skinny bitches get to be shopping in. Torsos straight as Glenn Quagmire or Wilt Chamberlin. You know, you can't tell health... just by lookin'. Those bitches are sick though, they should get to ordering in. Oh wait, ah well, fuck facts. It's about the feels, you can't argue that. I try to roll home, they see me. Going 15 on a sidewalk, on my scoot-puffy. My picture will probably go on TV, they're all amazed, at the real woman that is me. Trying to catch my permabulk so flir-ir-ty. Look at me I'm fat, cute and furry, pretty soon there will be an obituary. TeeHee So, this was my story, of discrimination, and the Goddess me. If you didn't like it please don't tell me, flee walk away. Failure is one of my triggers, can you please just honor me? If you don't it's bullying, I saw it on pub-lic TV. Look at the laws, stick boy, they now favor me. I am a drain on so-sigh-a-tee. But I don't give a fuck, my birthyear was in luck. I'll get Food Stamps, Medicaid, a better space and that EBT. Why do you care? This only effects me. By the way, will you move the fuck over? I need that half of your seat. The see me rollin, and eatin, trying to catch me permabulkin'. Can't not catch whales permabulkin'. Because, myyyy curve so dir-ir-tay. fade to black as Handsome Waiter returns and gives singer $100 tip for the trauma, asks her to a nice seafood dinner, and everyone but the skinny bitch bursts into raucous applause EDIT: So, I'm bad at formatting in the editor, gonna take some imagination to hear this the way I did in my head; nonetheless, I hope all you shitlords enjoy it, anyway.