Stories from your waitress. A little while ago, I posted about a Humpty Dumpty who came into my restaurant with no self awareness, leaned all over everything, blocked my entire section, complained about his life, talked loudly about all of his conditions and then asked me for help standing up from his seat.  I'd link the post, but I deleted it. Everyone wanted a picture or an update.. this is the update. Came back the next day, was waiting for me in the lobby. Sat in the same section blocking place, but did not stink this time. Smelled pleasant? Was pleasant, did not complain. As I was framing the picture for all you folks, I got struck with some crazy paranoia that he'd seen my post so instead of snapping the pic, I deleted my post and limited my interactions with him. He tipped me great both times. I'm sorry, but my job isn't worth it. He was notable, but the amount of pictures I want to take on a daily basis is ridiculous.  Small snippet of today: two women having brunch, one orders some meal, the other one orders the "healthy" option, but asks for her toast to be buttered. First lady says, "I would slim down SO much if I spent a week at her house!" I bring out their food and first lady looks at her meal and says, "I'm going to need SO much more butter" Basically, fml and I give up. At this point I just cater and pander to them. Idc, get grosser, make me look better, whatever, here's your ranch with your omelette.