Ham Force Five New to the world of FPH but thought I'd share a few thoughts on a former cow orker. Plus I really wanted to type a bunch of synonyms for ham planet.  First a brief intro to set the stage: Red hair, permanent vacant look in the eyes which I assume because she was dreaming of deep fried chocolate Easter bunnies, delusional belief that she was sexy, recently divorced, late 40s, sack of gelatinous goo loosely held together in a giant bag of blotchy skin.  D-Town: 'Ol girl showed up for her first day of the new job late, on crutches, and bleeding from the face. We met at a client site, both traveling to get there. I didn't really remember her but I was told that we'd met years before. It was a promotion for her so this was kind of a big deal. She told me that she tripped getting onto the escalator and sustained all kinds of injuries...the previous night. I decide that I don't know what the fuck to do with her, so just tell her to observe for the day rather than participate. Observing was too much to ask. Chubby sausages texting her chubby lovin' boyfriend all day.  KC: In one city we were a bit pressed for time to get to the airport but she insisted on stopping to eat. I mention more than once that airports have places for piggies to feed before getting to the next feed trough but she claims she MUST FUCKING STOP. So we pull into Jimmy John's and she orders a sandwich wrapped in lettuce or some bullshit. It was really important that a 400+ gooey person show me that she's eating healthy. I had to run to catch my flight. She had plenty of time.  Princeton: Mrs Kool-aid orders a salmon burger with fries and washes it down with four beers. Last bite of burger and she realizes its an actual hamburger patty. She calls over the waitress to report the magically delicious meal and the waitress offers to bring the correct order. She eats another half, then boxes up the leftovers (with new fries!) for later. At least have the dignity to lie to me about when you're going to stuff your Type 2 hole. Is that too much to ask? Memphis: Ham Force Five gets blasted and decides to sexy dance with a bunch of middle aged corporate guys attending the conference. She goes down quick. Imagine a tranq dart hit her. It took 5 pretty big guys, all could be mistaken for Mayor McButterpants, to get her back up. She grabbed cocks. She boasted of her prowess in ball draining. Did she get fired? Nope! She had a condishun and the medicine mixed with one drink made her do it.  I really hated that future scholarship winner to Cardiac U. TL;DR Fat people suck.