The mountain troll and the elf [Part 2] Part 1 Today has been the worst day yet in terms of how much I had to interact with the mountain troll. Before today, I had successfully avoided ever having to do a speaking exercise with this bag of mayo. A lot of avoiding eye contact, and a lot of non verbal conversations with people who understood my plight (mainly in the form of gesturing with my eyes and pained smiles). It started in language class where we had to practice asking for someone's birthday (read: personal information that I really do not want it to know). To my horror, after I had asked one of the girls for her birthday, I was singled out in having to speak with it. I kept it at an arms length and I am grateful for the table that separated us. Its jowls wobbled in the most unbecoming way as it fumbled with its heavily accented diction (incredibly enough, it told a sophomore student that its language skills were superior based off one grammar mistake). More horrific still, it wrote my birthday down. If it sends me a birthday basket I will burn it, film it, and post it here. In the second half of language class, I got into a heated discussion (on writing systems) with one of my friends. This discussion ended up spreading to one of the girls who had a different language background than either of us (Chinese rather than Japanese or Korean). However, she was located close to the beast. This resulted in it and its large ham of a side kick cheering me on in the most obnoxious way ever. "Don't worry pasteldoberman! We got your back in this! Yeah! pasteldoberman!" At that point, the worst was yet to come. Fast forward to next class. To my right, shitlady in training, to my left, the gorgon itself. We tried to avoid this, but it had made a beeline for the free seat beside me. Fuck. Naturally, I scooted as close as possible to my shitlady friend. But even from over 3 feet away, it's stench remained and I inwardly (or maybe outwardly) gagged. We practised a bit of spelling, just to see if we were up to standard. I'll admit I wanted to show off, so I waited until the most confusing sentence came up before I volunteered to come up to the board. Its staring was tangible. The sensation of its eyes boring into my back near-elicited nausea. The thing clapped and squealed "well done pasteldoberman" when I finished. All the while, I pointedly looked away. Thankfully, we moved onto break time. Now, we had learned a little nursery rhyme with a dance the day before, and one of the girls (who I happen to think is very pretty) suggested I do the little dance while she sang the song. Halfway through, the thing started belting out the lyrics. Me being the nice fellow I am, keep dancing (can't look like a dick bag in front of a human). I have literally never felt so violated, as I did when the monstrosity clapped. Afterwards, it kept singing (again, horribly off-key), so I just GTFO'd and recounted this to my classmates who know how much I hated it. One of the guys joked about telling it "pasteldoberman is such a great guy! You should definitely talk to him more!" It was then I realised that I was wearing something that I should not be wearing. A necklace, that was a symbol for a band that she undoubtedly was a huge fan of (though not the same from Part 1). However, conveniently enough it matches the meaning of my name. Something that I pointed out to my friend who told me to hide it in my sweater. After break, time for counting games. Friend desperately tried to have me put in a group of three rather than have me pair up with the troll. But I wouldn't be posting if not for this. Stuck with the creature anyway. FML. This game involved having to pretend to have a shop. Troll is overly into the acting and tried to touch me numerous times. Turned away each time. One of the upperclassmen came to sit by us to watch our conversation. My relief was only short-lived. When she left, I tried to communicate with looks that I wanted her to stay. Instead she said, with a shit eating grin, "nice necklace, pasteldoberman" and moved to the next group. My necklace had popped out of my sweater, and the fatty's attention was drawn to it. Cue the Oohs and Aahs. "Does it mean anything?" "My name." "Oh... Cool." Fucking hell. The way she said cool was in a terrible attempt of saying something sultrily. Her intonation made me shiver and I physically had to turn away as to not throw up. A finally cringe-worthy thing that it did was clap softly when it spied my sketches. Why me? I must say though, every cloud has a silver lining. Today's events resulted in me becoming fast friends with the girl who I talked to for most of break. Turns out we have heaps in common and she even admitted to disliking fatties (in her words: "I've noticed that the people I dislike tend to be fat people... You may have a point here."). TL;DR Asia-phile Gorgon continuously tries to catch the attention of Asian male who does not want anything to do with it over the course of 4 hours.