Fucking fat promo hams So, I work as a promotional model/booth babe on the weekends. I usually work concerts, parties, expos, etc., but this weekend I was booked for a lower-end gig.  Which meant I was expecting some hams to waddle up. This is a field where it normally pays to be a human. Higher-end clients don't want fat fucks representing them but some people will just take whoever the fuck they can get.  And sure 'nuff. There were the hams, waddling up, fucking out of breath. Insert eye roll here. Turns out the fat fucks are pregnant, too (not that that's an excuse for being a hambeast) and were complaining about having to stand for the whole shift. A 5-hour day broken into two shifts with a 2-hour break in between.  OH NOES. THAT'S SUCH HARD LABOR, GUYS. So while the sugarsnorters were flopped down in the grass, waiting for the shift to start in their too small t-shirts (they both just wear larges, guys, TEE-FUCKING-HEE), I remained standing because, ya know, I'm not going to crush my fucking knees by doing so. And then I saw one of the buttergoblins point to me and drool, "I WANNA BE SLIM LIKE THAT." Bitch, please.  But, hey, I'm on the clock. Gotta be nice, right? So I smiled and said, "Oh, but I don't eat a lot of food," and went back to sipping on my water because it's hot as balls today. Thankfully, the hams shut the fuck up and left me alone.  Unsurprisingly, they're both slow wastes of space with limited reasoning capabilities who were HELLA SURPRISED that I handed out all of my freebies while they still had a shitload left after our first shift.  NO SHIT, FUCKTARDS. MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I'M ACTUALLY WORKING? One shift down, one to go. I might be back for more venting. Who knows.