Fumbly bumbly textaplodicus I was trying to change trains on the subway, and the crowd was barely inching along. The reason for the congestion? You guessed it - a flabby, sexless, wide-load Maude engrossed in her Tumblrina fodder. She didn’t even look up as she lumbered, causing inconvenience to everyone else on what should have been a three-person-wide platform. Tubster. I hope she trips on her fupa and smashes her phone.