It finally happened FPH! I got to witness a ham destroying an innocent chair by sitting in it Okay. So, story time. I had orientation last night for an event I'm working over the weekend, and there were a couple hams there, though none of our usual breed. Small fats mostly, and one 'normal' FPH-class ham. The FPH-Class ham sat next to me and goddamn did I not smell her presence before I felt the gravitational pull.  But she's not the one who broke the folding chair. OH NO Shitladies and Shitlords. oh no. It was one of the small fats. Blubber round the neck, standing maybe 5'3" or somewhere around 5'. I couldn't have cared more to make an accurate measurement. But she was one of the 'late' arrivers to the orientation. I was paying attention to the instructions we were being given on the upcoming event, our duties, things to watch out for, etc etc. when dealing with an electronic music festival, and BOOM. I hear a bang.  What. The. Fuck? I look over my shoulder only to see the small fat on the floor. And then I noticed the chair beneath her. Shattered. In misery. What did that chair do to deserve such a fate. And my god did I work hard to stop myself from giggling like a school child from the sight of the small fat laid out upon the floor, having decimated a perfectly good folding chair simply by sitting down on it. I've read the stories. Oh I've read the stories, but I take everything on the internet with a dose of salt. But my god. To see it in person.  It was absolutely glorious. And to top it off? The FPH-class ham is stuck at a waterbooth. Which means standing all day, except for the meal breaks we get during our 12 hour shift. I half wish I was working the same position so I could hear the whale-song of complaints, but I have a much better position. And I doubt I want to be near her for that long of a work shift.