My best guess: his first wife (the mother of my cousins) was tall, thin, and pretty. She ended up cheating on him, and they went through a messy divorce. I think it destroyed his self esteem, and he figures since Fiona is fat and ugly, she will never cheat on him. Fiona has also never had kids of her own, so I don't know what her problem with me is. I'm thinking that since me & shitlady aunt have completely destroyed her "having babies makes you fat" logic, she has it out for us.