I Like Fat Bitches When fat girls say there’s “more of them to love,” they mean that in every respect, including their pussies. BBWs have wider and longer vaginas, meaning that pricks that satisfy starving, anorexic models won’t even scrape the voluminous amounts of K-Y needed to lubricate their tunnels of love. Put simply, if you don’t have a big, thick dick, you’re at a steep disadvantage when it comes to chubby chasing. And both of those dimensions are important. Penis girth not only gives the girl more pleasure, it protects you from accidental cock bends; bigger girls have snapped skinnier dicks from the sheer awesomeness of their weight. Trying to bang a fat girl in cowgirl position with an insufficiently meaty cock is like popping laxatives before chowing down at Taco Bell. I’m fortunate in that I was blessed with a nine-inch meat wrench with the circumference of a bratwurst, giving me the ability to make fat girls gush like a leaky soda machine. But if you weren’t gifted with a big crotch rocket, there is something you can do about it, and no, it doesn’t involve painful surgery or little blue pills. I’m talking about dick extenders: cock-shaped silicone sex toys you can slip over your penis to make it longer and harder. They’re also designed to help you last longer in bed, so if you’re having performance issues, you’ll want to check them out as well. You can get a quality penis extender from any sex shop or adult store. A warning, though: if you use silicone-based lubes, they will cause your dick extender to dissolve and break. If you do decided to buy yourself a cock extender, you’ll need to use water-based lubes instead.