A Whale Tale From My Commute Home tonight: Forced to sit next to a beast, which emanated noises that were unsettling to say the least. As I got on the subway today after a long day of work, I had to go to a seat as quickly as possible before it was gone. Unfortunately, the only one that wasn't taken was next to a hambeast. I subjected myself to this because I REAAALLY need a seat after work - my current job has me on my feet a lot. It glared at me as I was about to sit down, presumably annoyed that I was preventing it from hamspreading as much as it wanted to. As I settle down, I hear these disgusting noises - not breathing noises - just noises that are creepy and disgusting which I do not wish to describe, but I'm sure some of you can imagine. I was uncomfortable to say the least. The only recourse I had is that there was a gorgeous red head sitting across from me - the eye bleach was great but ear bleach is what I really needed. One express stop later, which in NYC is about a few minutes, a lot of people on the row across from me got off the train, and I quickly switched to the other side. The ham glared at me again for god knows why, and it was disgusting. But hey, at least I was no longer having physical contact with it, and hearing its sounds.