Fatties and Their Degrees: a Modest Proposal A brief story:  I was visiting a friend at his shop on the Fourth.  At the traffic light outside his shop, there's an accident. A BMW crossover rear-ended an early 90's Honda Accord.  They pulled into my friend's parking lot and came into the store to wait for the police to arrive.  The Honda driver, a young (late teens) Marine, seemed happy that he didn't have to wait outside in the heat; he just browsed a little and kept to himself. The fatty, dressed in a pantsuit made by no-doubt the finest tentmaker, decided she had to call someone and regale that person with what had just happened. Everyone in the store could hear what she was saying, she spoke so loudly.  There was this idiot parked in the middle of the road... The Marine walked over to her and (far more politely than I would've done) said: Ma'am, the light was red that's why I was stopped. To which she replied: I have two Master's and a Ph.D., I know the difference between red and green... An observation: Fatties always feel the need to bring up their degrees even when they're immaterial to the conversation. Also, because most people don't walk around with a copy of their transcripts, they could just be claiming degrees.  A proposal:In order to qualify for a degree, degree candidates should be required to pass a physical fitness test: a timed run, a swim test, pull-ups, sit-ups, and push-ups.