Delusional hams and online dating... AKA the reason I still have a zoosk account! Back in my more naive times, I signed up for on-line dating due to moving back to the middle of no-where on the west coast of Scotland, and was hoping that i'd be able to meet someone nearish on-line, as there's not much of a bar scene at all in the town nearest to my house. Little did I realise at the time that the vast majority of people on on-line dating sites are not there due to living in isolated areas, but because they're so fat and / or ugly that it is their last resort. As I say, I was naive back then. Here is a breakdown of the average user that tries to message me. Every now and then, i'll meet someone cute and we'll chat for a bit, decide we're not a good fit, and go our separate ways, but most of the time, the users adding me are exactly the sort of person you expect to find on on-line dating.   So here she is, a user that sums up pretty much every ham that messages me Firstly, in my profile i mention some things that are very important to me, and that if my potential partner did not fit these things then to not bother messaging me as I would not reply.   - The first and foremost being NO FATTIES.  After that I also ask that they be avid readers, as I love chatting about a good book. Next that they have an interest in classic movies (such as of the Audrey Hepburn or Cary Grant era... Singin' in the Rain is one of my all time faves!) and that they DEFINITELY be a non-smoker as I have always hated the smell of fag smoke, plus I once kissed a smoker when drunk in a club, and it was fooouuull!!  I also ask that potential matches be fairly intelligent as I had a private school education and enjoy really good, deep conversations about anything and everything; those conversations where you suddenly realise it's 4am and you're still both sitting there chatting away excitedly. (This is not a "oh look how smart I am" thing, it's just a factual thing that I really don't click well with people below a certain level of intelligence and she does not come across as very bright) I also mention that I love being active and especially love my dogs, which makes me even more angry at this particular obeast as she is not only massive herself, but has clearly overfed her poor dog so that it too is very overweight and likely suffering health issues. I love my dogs to pieces, and do everything I can to make sure they're well trained, well cared for, and know they're loved. None of which involves just giving them excessive quantities of food to replace proper dog training.  Now with all that in mind, this gargantuan ham still decided to message me, ignoring all of the things I'm looking for or more importantly, what makes me NOT INTERESTED. I have no idea why on earth lardbuckets like this will message me from time to time (I'd say perhaps 1 every 2 weeks?) as if they either didn't understand any of what I said in my profile, they didn't CARE what they read in my profile, or they DIDN'T EVEN READ my profile and just saw a picture and clicked "send message". They are always the same. Gigantic, hideous, obeasts clearly devoid of any kind of intelligence, and often with cats or dogs in their photos that are also obese.