I'm really impressed by your accomplishment here. I could tell as soon as I saw the length of its message...  it was triggered.    No doubt this fatwarrior will think back to your post for years, continually re-triggering itself. Every time it eats, you will come to mind, and it will think "fucking sylph. I told you I'd rather be fat than be like you. I'm eating this pastry to spite you. Guess I won after all!"  I'd love to see a "fats triggered" count for fph usernames.