Went to my local used book shop... The call comes in and the owner's wife tells me they have a really thick George Burns book and a hundred year old Jack London anthology that's in great condition. I thank her for letting me know, and say that I'll be there in under an hour.  Truth be told, the book shop is about 20 minutes away but I want to do a trip around downtown to catch some digital creatures and enjoy a 400 calorie cookie from the local bake shop. Incidentally, I caught a really good Bellsprout that I was later able to evolve into a 1000cp Weepinbell. Almost perfect Ivs. Don't judge me cause I like pogo. Or do. Either way, just don't be fat. Anyway, back to the story at hand. I get to the shop and I'm greeted with the books on the counter and "holy shit, you're finally here.  I need to pee. I'll be right back" from the owner's wife, as she rushes away and leaves me alone in the store. As I stand there, and pet her kitty (don't even fucking go there, you know what I mean), the door creeks open. It's immediately followed by some wheezing, heavy breathing, and "this is way too heavy", and more wheezing, followed by what I can only describe as the sound of a cat barfing up a hairball while trying to pass a kidney stone. The beast fixes its eyes on me and oinks "your door is too heavy" in between laboured breaths. Before I can finish saying that I don't work here, the pork orc dismisses me with a wave of the hand and demands that I show it "the good stuff". At this point, I clutch the bag I'm holding with the cookie, close to my bosom (you in the back, stop giggling and follow along), and yell out "NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!" , then run out the door. Anyway, the books are pretty awesome.  My bookstore is putting a bid on a 17th century John Locke for me, and fatty is probably posting a bad review somewhere. TL;DR: that happened