Fats in the bathroom Half the time I try to take a shit at work, there's a fat in the stall.  It's always the same fats too.   They eat so many calories that their bodies have no choice but to expel them way more often than humans do.  Their bodies also need to get rid of the poisonous amounts of sugar and saturated fat they consume constantly. I did something fats could never do - I walked up two flights of stairs to the next bathroom, without getting out of breath.  I didn't even think to take the elevator  even though it would have been the easier option.  I'm sitting on the commode typing this.  Fuck fats.