Starting the recuitment of a friend - A story brought to you by Walmart and Hellman's Yesterday, I was killing some time with a friend waiting for a doctor's appointment. Eventually, mostly to tease her, I started to show her some of the more horrifying FPH links. Naturally, as a human being she was horrified. While I was showing her these things in gleeful schadenfreude, I was explaining/making fun of the unhealthy and revolting relation between mayonnaise, crisco, and ranch dress, and the waddling fat storage sacks that put those things on everything they shovel into their mouths.  Now, she works as a cashier at Walmart at night to help pay for school. She claimed she's never noticed hams buying any of these things when she's been working, though she has had scarring experiences cleaning down the scootypuffs whales use to transport themselves across sections of land. Well, after she closes for the night, I get a wonderful message: "Damn you [Trajans], every fat person I have rung out tonight bought mayonnaise and crisco. The last customer before I went home got 3 of the giant jugs of mayonnaise. I'm so disgusted." She dislikes fat people already, living with family members who are hams and have thrown "thin-privilege" and "gunetics" at her. Both her mother and sister are huge, my friend isn't, and not due to "having her father's metabolism", but because she rarely, if ever, eats more than 1500 calories in a day. So I'm seeing if I an get her to full blown shitlady, though I'm pretty sure that I won't have to do much.  The seeds are planted - Walmart will do the rest for me.