I smelt a smell, a smelly smell that will now haunt me forever. Hello shitpeople, I'm a lifeguard (sun & free gym membership ftw)... And as a lifeguard I am unfortunately forced to interact with fupacabrae and the like. I've dealt with a few memorable ones (some of which I have chronicled on fph) yet today takes the cake (teehee). There was a beast reminiscent of Slimer from OG Ghostbusters in terms of shape that materialized at the pool... This beast wasn't particularly large, maybe a dwarf planet on the celestial hambeast scale; rather what made this one special was the eye watering odor that wafted from it and carried approximately 10 meters in chlorinated air (can't smell shit on an indoor pool deck... Or so I thought). This odor was unlike any I had encountered before... A fetid mix of stale cigarettes, stale urine, and dollar store strawberry perfume trying valiantly to suppress the former... It could not. From the moment this beast arrived to 15 minutes after it left my eyes were watering. Jesus fuck. I thought fat people being sniffable from a long distance was an exaggeration. No. It is not. And imagine if the chlorine wasn't there to dull my senses... The horror... The horror.