Short story, not about my kid for once! So... Went out to dinner with my mom, my brother and his GF. Went to this little Italian place that serves enough for four meals.  We sit down and there is a hamplanet sitting at a nearby table. Of fucking course, this mayoblob is talking loud enough for everyone to hear. I shot him a look, but to no avail.  And what is our dear overstuffed ravioli talking about? Bathrooms. Namely, that he went on a cruise and had to use the public bathroom by the pool BECAUSE HE COULDNT FIT IN THE CABIN BATHROOM. I audibly laughed.  Jesus fucking Christ. At what point do you look at yourself and say "hmmm, I don't fit through a doorway. Maybe I should not eat so fucking much"