"But, you can't quit somking!" Just overheard this exchange between brother-in-law and his ham of a fiancé.  BIL: Yeah, I don't get smoke breaks anymore.  Hopefully it will help me quit smoking. Ham: But, you can't quit smoking! BIL: What? Why? Ham: Because if you quit smoking, it'll put a lot of pressure on me to quit, too.  And if I try to quit smoking, I'll just put on more weight and relapse into smoking again anyway.  I just can't handle this!  storms out of the room Hams, everything is about them. No one else is allowed to improve themselves, because feefees.  Can't wait until they move out.  They're making my wife's cats fat as an added bonus.  And explicitly asked that my wife and I not exercise when Ham is around.  Again, because feefees.