An Open letter to the Lonesome Lards looking for Love Dear Fats Do not hate us because we do not find you attractive, it is not fat discrimination, it is simply not finding 300lb of sweaty rolls of flesh attractive. Shitladies: If they don't make you leak a river, don't let them take you to dinner Shitlords: If she can't make it a rock, she ain't getting the cock. It is not our fault that we do not find you attractive, it is not within our control, if it were... We still wouldn't. It's not our fault that we want actual sexual attraction in a relationship, feeding one another pizza with extra cheese isn't a valid alternative to sex due to sexual attraction Please don't come online saying we're bigots for discriminating against your "curves" because we want a partner we find visually pleasing.  You shouldn't complain and there's one very good reason... You are a hypocrite, We all know that you are the same sort of person who when out at a local eatery would constantly order the same sort of dessert regardless of how many times you visited. We both know you would never order that Low fat Soufflé and instead would always choose the Sticky Toffee pudding with double whipped cream and hazelnut drizzle.  The same sort of person who when watching shows like Masterchef and Hells Kitchen would mentally rate the dishes on a scale of 1 to 10 on how good they look. Don't be mad that we do the same but for people.  On that scale of 1-10 I'm afraid you are at best a 2, most likely a 1. Do not be angry that us 7's, 8's, 9's and 10's want to be with someone of similar ranking.  And just like any good cooking show you have to understand that some things just don't go, You don't mix a burger and fries with Rum cake dessert for example. Just like courses of a meal, men and women need to be compatible and go together, there are some desserts that are "Just to heavy" to go with certain main courses. I'm afraid you are the same, I'm not going to apologize for the fact your body isn't up to par.  Continuing with the food line of thought, since you are likely to understand those best, a chef tries to make their dish the best that they can, they try to make it perfect, that is the same with us and our bodies, we are constantly trying to look as good as we possibly can, I'm afraid your McBody isn't quite up to the standards that we set ourselves. Fat people are a joke, Do not be surprised when a date that you catfished using MySpace angles is rude to you and storms off, it's just that they know what they want and they can see straight off the bat that you are not worth the time. Now you might say that you could still be friends but we all know that you have nothing in common with a thin attractive man/woman. They shouldn't be obliged to discuss your past and then be forced to imagine the life of gluttony, gastric bypasses and gravy laden meals you have in store. Now maybe you'll find someone, but that is only on the off chance that you find a chubby chaser, A Bus Banger, A Snorlax Shagger or whatever other name there is out there for that sort of ultra specific fetish. You are not attractive to anyone apart from that sort of fetish enjoyer. If this was Mastermind this would be the Specialist Subject of fetishism, as in no one apart from that really small part of the population would know anything about it or be interested in trying to roll you in flour to find your disgusting Fatgina.  I will end with this: Fuck off and die you fat lazy useless piece of crap. You would be doing the world a favor. Do not attempt to make the rest of the world feel bad for wanting to vomit from the mere sight of you and your cheese smelling sweat patches that your shirt is covered in. No Regards Ripley Riae TLDR: -Witty comment, Witty comment, Funny anecdote, Insulting fatties, food puns, McBody, Witty Comment- And yes I did release this Open letter when I knew the lards would be on the forums looking to downvote, I hope they enjoyed the read.