Caught off guard by a butter golem. Today I had an appointment for a consultation for laser hair removal (which I ended up selling my arm and leg to get because as a person with real PCOS, my extra fuzzies have been the bane of my existence because I want to show off my body but am embarrassed due to all this damn body hair). I parked in front of the building, and with about ten minutes to spare, decided to listen to the rest of a cool song that popped up on my pandora station. The song finished. So I pulled my phone from the cord, put my phone in my purse, turned off my car, and before pulling the keys out and before opening the door, I looked up and saw the entirety of a new planet in orbit. This behemoth plopped out of a huge truck that parked next to me. It then proceeded to waddle into the smoothie store for a "healthy" helping of blended fruit and other things probably adding up to a 1000+ calorie smoothie. There was also a second beast still in the truck, probably waiting for the first whale to return with a "healthy" smoothie for it too. I tried to get out of my car and trigger it with my body, but I think it had already been hypnotized by beetus drinks.