Fats triggered by non-exercise competition 80% of my coworkers are obese, 10% overweight, the rest look normal. As such, it's a strain on our corporate-wide healthcare expenses, so the company does what it can to at least try to persuade everyone to exercise, or at least do something even remotely healthy. The last couple of weeks, they came up with an idea to get people who choose to, to compete physically. Obviously, they wanted to make sure it was fair to everyone, because that's the pussy-ass society we live in nowadays, and they also said it's opt-in. After much thought, and wasted time in meetings, they settled on a planking competition. Basically, everyone has until the last working day of the year to be timed for their longest planking effort--which means we all have weeeeks to practice. Longest male and female competitors get a $150 gift card, as well as a handful of extra prizes for people who just give it their best, picked at random from a hat. When I'd heard they'd picked planking, I was like, "Perfect--it's physical excursion, without any actual movement involved. No one could possibly have an issue with this!" I mean, this isn't a foot race up a cliff, it's not a half Ironman, it's not a boxing match or a 5 mile swim. It's not even pushups or sit-ups. It's zero fucking movement. It's exercise for people who don't exercise! Well, I was wrong. Within a day or so, cows had waddled into HR to "express their concerns" about an unfair competition, "because not everyone there may be able to participate." The HR lady was apparently flabbergasted, because she'd even had to contact corporate to get their approval, and even their lawyers said go for it. Long story short, corporate was involved again, meetings were had, and the planking competition is still on. It finally came down to, hey, you aren't required to compete, and we've had several drawings, etc., over the years where people were excluded simply because they neglected to sign up. So, if you don't want to sign up, then you just don't participate. Fats are still mad, but they're out of options, and HR is done talking to them about it. Meanwhile, I'm at about 4.5 minutes on my plank, and I'm shooting for 6 minutes, maybe longer. Couple dudes that run half marathons have me worried, and I want that prize.