A tale about a stupid, thieving, fatty This happened back in December 2014 but it's such a good story with a happy ending so I figured I would share it with you all. I had just started working home depot doing loss prevention. I was in training and following other LPs until I had participated in enough apprehensions to work on my own. My friend and I had about 15 minutes left in our shift when a cashier came up to us and said she saw a suspicious woman in the store that looked familiar. We found her and started following her. She went over to the lighting section and picked up a $350 chandelier and placed it in her cart. No one ever bought those so we knew she was going to steal it. She then picked up a $150 ceiling fan and placed it in her cart. I was on the other side of the aisle watching through gaps in the shelves. She starts walking towards the exit and we continue to follow. After she passed the registers we stop her and escort her back to our office. She started mooing about how sorry she was and pleading to let her go. My friend is very good at pretending to be sympathetic so he puts on an act to keep her calm while the police are on their way. Then suddenly we start hearing heavy thudding foot steps. It was the cops! You could practically hear the authority with each fall of the boot and I could see life drain from her face. She knew she was fucked. At this point I was doing everything I could to contain my excitement. The cops walk in and start questioning her. She said she needed money to take care of her son and that he was with some drug addict or some other form of scum. One of the cops has dealt with her before and was trying to find out who exactly her son was with. This is where the "stupid" part comes in. She just got out of jail recently after being in there for a few weeks because she was caught shoplifting. AT THIS VERY STORE. It turned out the other LP who worked there caught her a couple weeks back and she went to jail. How fucking dumb do you have to be to go shoplift at the same store you got caught stealing from before. Speaking of dumb her first name is actually spelled very closely to the word "dumb". I won't give the specific name since that may be doxxing. The cops put her in cuffs and she starts crying her butter and gravy tears and they take her away. That was a fun bust and thinking about it makes me smile.