Deathfat Barista at Starbeetus Saw another post about porc orcs at Starbucks, figured I'd add my own story. I don't normally go to Starbucks, but my husband and I had to kill some time today, so we stopped at one. Apparently they're fat magnets here in the Great White North too. It was busy as fuck and there were only 2 baristas - one obese and the other super obese. The deathfat was working the cash... I think she was still high school aged, and was at least 300 pounds at maybe 5'1". She was talking to everyone in this childish singsong voice and I wanted to punch her. I got to the cash to order, and asked if they had apple cider. She said no, but they had something similar. I forget what she called it, but she said it was syrup mixed with warm apple juice, topped with whipped cream and caramel. "OK fine," I said, "give me a medium with no whipped cream or caramel." My husband and I would share it. Her face fell. She looked confused. "You don't want whipped cream? Are you sure?" again in that stupid singsong voice. I gave her a quick glance up and down, and replied in a deadpan tone, "very sure." She wrote my name on the cup and I had to go stand in the other line to wait for the other obeast to make it. Although not as fat, she was still obese, and looked to be in her late 20's. She was making the drinks at a snail's pace, and grunted out people's names as the drinks were ready. She grunts out, "ungh, ferret!" and slides it across the counter. I look down, and it's covered in whipped cream and sticky caramel. "What is this?" I ask, somewhat angrily. "I can't have this. There's whipped cream in it! I asked for no whipped cream because I'm lactose intolerant. You need to make this again." (Side note: I actually am lactose intolerant, not just trying to give her a hard time) She grunts again, no doubt pissed off that I'm holding up the line despite her careless mistake. So I stand there at the counter and watch her make it again (to ensure that fatty boom boom didn't think to put any "special ingredients" in it). She grunts again as she puts it on the counter in front of me, and I leave. Goddamn incompetent obeasts... can't even do a basic job properly. Next time I'll just go to a Tim Hortons.