Observations from a birthday party Recently a close relative had a birthday party held in the morning as a brunch rather than a late afternoon/evening birthday party. Family members and friends were invited and the brunch consisted of various reasonable food options: cheeses, ham meat and other sausage meat, whole bread, eggs, bacon, beans, some crackers, a lot of delicious sliced fresh fruit and drinks ranging from water, tea, coffee and juice, and since it was a birthday party there was light and easy apple cake as a dessert. My family and I live close by and were the first to arrive since we had to lend some cutlery to our relative. We arrive and talk with each other as well as the 3 other relatives that arrived shortly after us. Moments later we hear a rhythmic slow paced banging on the floor to later realize it was our relative's friend slugging itself up the stairs and arriving in the hall in front of us. This thing has had reproductive organs in it's former days, visible tattoos and fiercely eye catching bad make up, reaching a standing height of 5.4 feet and weighing somewhere in the morbidly obese category with easily 100 lbs of extra fat attached. It's age most have been 30-35 years. The first and only of it's kind to arrive at this birthday party. Almost immediately upon entering it turned itself to have a look at the large table with all the food and cakes, joyfully commenting on how good it looked and asking if it may begin the feast. With the sack of filth walking around the table the rest of the relatives decided to take a meal and sit down to eat together. Unbeknownst to the lardy being it had picked an older chair to sit on and the rest of us had a sighting of true quality craftsmanship as the wooden chair held out the assault. There were attempts to move the chair closer to the table after it had been sat upon, but none of us knew if it made any progress and our worries were with the poor chair. We continue on around the food table deciding what to get on our plate because they were some nice normal/small serving plates, making room for a few grapes and slices of melon, and suddenly realize that the former human had gotten up and now stood behind us for it's second serving. With you fine folks from the subverse in mind I decided to observe and take notes of how much this being would consume. I say down at the table surrounding myself among family members and positioning myself in such a way where I would register whenever the fatty got up for an extra serving whilst avoiding the direct sight of food slaughter. To my surprise I got worried I would run out of fingers to count it's servings, but the feasting ended just before. 9 servings! All within the same hour and there could have been no doubt that this was the not first breakfast/brunch of the day because how could a being this large willingly choose to wait an extra 2-4 hours between waking up and having brunch?  And of course the only drink I saw it with was juice. Of the observations made by myself the host of the birthday party once noted to the fatty that there was a large tray with various delicious fruits it should try some, but the note flew right through it's ears.   There were 2 large cakes and to our great surprise after having hosted the brunch party for 4-5 hours we had almost run out of cake.   The fatty had brought cupcakes/muffins with itself hidden in it's bag likely as not to have a anxiety attack for skipping dessert, should we have held a birthday party without any cake. In the brief moment I saw this bag I counted 5 differently coloured cupcakes/muffins, possibly there were more. After eating it moved over to the couch to rest on, but rather than sitting down as normal people do it became a pathetic attempt at positioning itself in front of the couch and trying to sit down until the moment gravity took over and let the beast fall down a bottomless pit, saved only by the couch in the last second. Sitting for a moment it decided to declare it had a headache and was feeling so tired it would need to go home and rest. Luckily it left us before an acute need to use the restroom appeared.   All within the same hour this thing manages to enter a party, eat 9 servings with juice on top of that and leave again. This is frightening to be honest. Of the people who stayed for 3-4 hours some had a second small serving of the delicious cake hours after first eating and their total servings reached only as high as 3-4 servings and everyone being a traditional healthy weight.