Collection of shortened, personal, fatty stories. Enjoy FPH! Story 1.  Selling mattresses in a dept store.  In comes Deathfatfuck and his female? sidekick, Trollfat. Deathfatfuck is looking for a mattress that can withstand the weight of his genetics. Proceeds to crush half the mattresses in the store while complaining to Trollfat. Takes forever as he can't move without assistance from Trollfat. Breaks a mattress using the force of 7 suns as he crushes it. Story 2. Going on my break into a grocery store for a snack. Decide to have a homemade, fancy, little cupcake. See loose whale behind bakery counter. Ask for a vanilla cupcake and hope the beast can understand human. Mention it is for me as a snack so she doesn't have to fancy box it. Whale blubbers with confusion, "You're just eating one!?!?!" in reference to what must be a 500-600 calorie snack. Retract visibly from disgusting creature. Story 3. Worked with many adipose princesses. Always complainers.  Always lazy. Always bitches. Worked with queen adipose herself at a restaurant. This is her story. Yells angrily at dumb cis men to have desserts be baked before ordered. Eats them all when no one is looking. Eats all day. Can't walk 5 feet without wheezing and taking a break. Lies about only eating a small salad every day. Lies about doctor saying there needs to be more food eaten daily as she will grow too frail and petite at 450lb and she'll gain weight from starvation. Falls down constantly and can't get up. Takes down shelves with her. No one helps as they are sick of her shit. Gatherings watch as she attempts to get back up. Asian shitlady scolds innocent brave princess about learning to get up on her own while she struggles on the ground like a turtle. Everyone loves winter as we wait to watch her slide on the ice like a massively oversized hockey puck. Goes to staff party. Breaks sofa. Easily. Runs into office crying daily over everything. Running to the office only creates more lulz as she can't run but rather waddles like a massive, half dead penguin. Left tire on princessmobile being constantly changed. Left side of car visibly 2 feet lower almost scraping the ground. Tire is crying. Princess can't lose weight. 5 years later, princess finished successful dieting.  Weighs the same. Still a bitch. If anyone wants more details, I'll be happy to share.