Fun With Fatties Today I work for a small, local grocery chain.  One of my duties is to help out departments when they are short staffed. There is a store with a bakery where I was helping today.  The bakery has an open tortilla oven in the center of the store, where I ended up working today.  The employees that were helping me get set up warned me - make sure that you always have samples of these delicious baked tortillas while you're making them, since people come specifically for them. One employee complained to me that the same people come all the time, that they never buy, they're just there for free food.  I knew I was going to be dealing with fatties, and sure enough, I was surrounded by hamplanets as soon as I started cooking. So I decided to have fun.  First, I didn't make any sample batches.  Not one.  Eventually, some people started asking when I'd have the samples ready.  I'd shrug and say, "I don't normally do this, so I'm not sure, but I'll probably have some cooled and ready in half an hour."  I probably told 20 people half an hour... and when they'd come back, I'd tell them the exact same thing. When I got bored with that, I'd reach down and pull out the sample tray, set it up on the sample table, and watch several people who were just milling around descend like slow vultures... then I'd act like I just needed to grab something under the tray and put it back down. Finally, after finishing up hours of cooking, a young (non-ham) kid walks up and asks if I have samples.  I pull out a fresh tortilla - which is big enough that they make six to eight samples from each one - and I say, "you know, this isn't enough to fill up the sample tray, so why don't you just take the whole thing."  He looked so happy, while the look on the faces of the orbiting planets was priceless. Mind you, these were not starving homeless people waiting for much needed handouts.  This is an upscale grocery store in a middle class neighborhood, and flocks of fatties with full grocery carts waste time just hanging around for free food because they can't possibly just buy something and wait to get home to eat it.  Fucking ridiculous, and I was happy to not give them shit.