I got in a fight with my cousin Disclaimer: Something happened last month I’ve debated sharing because its personal and I’ve decided to share it but I’ve changed a few small facts so there is no way this could ever get back to my cousin that I wrote this.  My cousin is a law student attending a school in a deep south State which is not where she’s from but that’s where she was offered money to go and it’s a good law school apparently.  She was allowed to shadow me at my job (I’m a hill staffer) and the whole idea was for her to visit and spend a week with me and she could meet people and network and hopefully next year when she graduates get a similar job and maybe move in as a roommate. About her appearance.  Not a ham planet and not someone you would notice on the street and laugh at for being fat but she’s carrying extra weight and she does not regularly exercise and she’s self-conscious about it.  And she has a poor diet of soda and takeout food so her skin has blemishes and it’s not nice.   I have been contacted ahead of time by my mom who is telling me that cousin’s mom wants me to help impart some good habits for cousin to follow over the next year and just because she thinks I’m a good role model since I’m already out working and have my shit together.  OK great I’m game.  Cousin obviously is a hard worker and intelligent and we get along well ever since we were little kids.   So on Monday I showed her my route to the metro.  We ride the train together.  I tell her how I like to climb the escalator stairs whenever possible.  In the Capital I taker her around and show her where all the stairways are explain how that is my little secret at work.  I take her to the good places for salads and healthy food and we eat our meals together so I know she’s eating well.  We stop in at whole foods and do shopping blah blah and buy healthy stuff to eat for the days ahead. Now I’m a real bitch about attending my yoga class and I won’t miss it and I’m not bringing her to my sculpt classes because she would hate me and it would be pointless.  I leave her to attend my evening class and when I get back all hot and messy I find her lying down on the couch. She says “I’m pooped. My legs hurt from all the walking.”  “Yeah?  That’s good!”  I laugh and smile.  “Have you thought about dinner?”  It’s late but not too late for something quick and healthy.  “Not hungry” she says.   So in the trash there’s a pint of ben and jerry ice-cream consumed and neither roommate is home.  “Cousin! You ate this while I was out at yoga?” She laughs out loud and admits it.  I’m laughing too.  “I should so kick your ass!”   It’s the same routine the next day minus the stop at the grocery.  Same result.  I come back in the evening from yoga and once again I find her lying on the couch completely spent.  This time she’s finished off dirty Mexican takeout.  I’m not in such a good mood then and I give her my hands on hips “Really?” look.     Next day I’m not letting her take the evening off despite however tired she is feeling when we get home from work.  “C’mon we’re going on a run.”  Mild pouts but I got this sold I think.  “It will be fun get dressed!”  And so we run…very slowly.  Slow enough that I’m not really sweating at all which is a bummer for me.  It’s only been twenty minutes running (which should be a ten minute run/warmup) and we’re at the end of the route where I normally run my hill repeats.   “C’mon on I’ll race you to the top!”  “Please you know you’ll win.”  “You know what you are right.  You get a head start.  Move up to the blue car.  If I catch you to the top of the hill then you can start further ahead on the next interval and if I’m far behind then you will start the next one closer to me.”  She says “Next time?”  “Yeah we do at least six.”  She looks at me like I’m crazy.  So we run the first one and I don’t catch her and she’s breathing hard and saying she’s going home.  I’m thinking ‘Fine.  Be a fat girl.  I’ll do the rest of them on my own.’ Next day I tried to bring her running again.  “No thanks.  I’m going out to meet a friend.  We’re having drinks at some fancy smhancy club.” Next night Friday night I ask her what she wants to do for fun since its Friday.  “Let’s get pizza and ice cream and watch Netflix.”  Are you fucking kidding me???  You are in DC with your cousin in her apartment on a Friday night.  Ugh this makes me sick.  So of course I eat a normal human size proportion of pizza and barely touch the ice cream.  I don’t want to go into her eating habits its personal and mildly disgusting. The next morning I normally am stoked for my yoga sculpt because it’s an extra fifteen minutes of class.  She knows this.  “I’m coming with you to yoga this morning.”  Not what i was expecting to hear.  Thinking about other situations with irregular students and especially fat people I know that a 75 minute heated sculpt class at core power is a terrible idea.  “Ok…sure.”  But I’m taking her to the regular power yoga class without the weights cause I don’t want to her to die.   So we get inside the studio room and already I can tell she’s having second thoughts.  Obviously this is still an intense power class with the heat and most of the people there are athletic and in shape and dressed for a hot yoga class.  I’ve seen this look before.  This look of fear and desperation.  A feeling of being trapped by fun loving spirited people that happen to be fit and not fat like them and surrounded by a room full of mirrors so you can't possibly not see how they look and how you look in comparison.  They must consider it.  ‘I don’t belong here.  Am I going to die?  If I quit will This Girl crane kick me in the face or will she merely judge me for being fat? ”  I’ll spare you the unpleasant details of how the class went.  It’s not the highlight of the story. That night.  “…because you are actually fat.  I’m telling you the truth.  Do you know how easy it is to get employed as a hill staffer when you are attractive and you have a law degree?  It’s easy!  All you have to do is look good and be qualified and you are pretty much guaranteed a job.”  Angry scowls.  Her “I’m not fat.”  Me “Its not just that you are overweigh but you don’t eat well and you don’t look as good as you could.  You are so beautiful you just let your appearance go.  You can get it back.”  Her “What the hell does that mean?” Me “You are a law student at a state school with one of those fancy free student gyms and warm weather much of the year.  Exercise!  You have no excuse.  Eat right and change your diet and you will land it next year.”  Her “You have no right.”  Me “I have every right.”  Her “You’ve done nothing but be mean.”  Me “Take it back!”  And now I’m really pissed.  After all the time I’ve put in this week. “I mean it.”  Her “Hell no.  You are a conceited stuck up bitch.”   Me “So do something about it about it fat girl!”   And then she shoved me to push me away out of her face.  And I stepped up to her and shoved her harder because nobody does that to me.  She tried it again and I put her against the fall and threw her on the floor.  I pinned her arms under my knees and grabbed her hands and pinned them against the floor.  She raised her hips to get me off as I was sitting on her and then I lifted up slightly and slammed my butt down on her and drove her back against the floor and she lost all her breath and could not breath and soon began hyperventilating.   Mega tears.  The fight was over.   Lots of crying and hurt feelings obviously into the next day and beyond.