Hams. Hams everywhere. I recently started a new job as the assistant director of my shitling's daycare. The job comes with many perks. However, the worst thing is that every person, aside from myself and two other teachers and director, is a fucking ham.  It just so happened to be a coworker's birthday today. She brought in a delicious cake from a local bakery. I decided to grab a piece. When I came in, a planet literally had her hands IN the cake, trying to get a piece out. The serving utensils were right there. I simply looked at it as it stared at me, frosting all over it's face, and said: "You look like you need a minute alone." The double meaning went straight over hammy's head and it oinked/ree'd in laughter as it nodded.