I made an obeast shit itself at work! [NSFL] So I decided to do something stupid because I was bored. So with getting tired of all these obeasts whining about their problems and condishuns at work, I thought I'd take my shitlording game to another level. Instead, I got more than what I bargained for. So I decided to buy a small bag of baked chips just because and I thought maybe a snack with them is good for a month. Most chips are too salty for me anyways. So, I was at work and this obeast in front of me keeps reeeeing about how its eyes hurt and it wears these huge ass sunglasses with thick frames like those fatshionistas on Tumblr do. Granted I had to wear blue light blocking glasses because like most workers these days, I sit in front of a computer all day and that strains my eyes which affects my work performance. So later on in the day, after drinking a small box of coconut water with chocolate in it, the calls were slowing down a bit and the obeast in front of me was snoozing to protect its eyes. When I tried to get its attention by saying "hello", it wasn't responding. I wanted to see if its eyes are still hurting behind those sunglasses behind the computer but it wasn't responding so I took the sweet opportunity by popping my bag as loud as possible on an open napkin to collect the chips after I popped it open.  Soon enough, after a loud "BANG!", the obeast woke up and bounced up and down on its chair and I couldn't help but laugh at it. Little did I know, I ignored the noise of what sounded like a small fart and when I noticed the odor, it was too late. Oh wait! That's not all! It was starting to smell like shit and the obeast in front of me scolded at me and blamed me for making it piss and shit itself and I just lost it there but that's when the smell of wet shit hit my nose and all the other coworkers were affected leading them to spray Febreeze on the obeast and all of us had to take breaks to catch fresh air. I left my bag of chips immediately and ran outside first to catch fresh air as the others just whined about the odor. The obeast just left reeeeing about how it shit and pissed itself at work from the noise of my bag being popped open as well as how its eyes kept hurting (totally has nothing to do with the fact that its so fat, its fat on its face keeps pressing down on it eyes). Of course the rest of the day, I had to move seats as the other workers disposed the obeast's chair because it had a wet, elongated, spot on the cushion with the strong smell of wet shit and diarrhea. That night however, after leaving work for the day, I felt traumatized and vowed to never buy a bag of chips again. I learned that when I shitlord, I better not literally scare the shit out of obeasts. It was a terrible night and I had no idea my fun little prank would turn out this bad. TL;DR: I loudly popped a bag of chips open at work during slow hours and made an obeast shit and pissed itself on its chair causing it to leave work early.