Annoying fatty butts into a conversation.  Shutting up ensues. Alright, so one day I was having a conversation with a couple of buddies on the topic of weight training and dieting.  I was discussing the finer merits of compound exercises, the importance of good form, and the awesomeness of the ketogenic diet.  In the middle of this enlightening discussion, a fat fuck hamster, a college acquaintance for whom I had an utmost contempt and disgust, came waddling in and started offering some stupidass, irrelevant opinions that added nothing of any modicum of use to said conversation.   Stupid attention whoring ensued.  I filtered it all out and hid my disgust as best as I could, while my friends pretended to listen and nod their heads in agreement.  It's probably because they're nice guys, and I'm an asshole, but I didn't give a fuck.  My speculation was that one of them was a chubby chaser and wanted to fuck her.  dry heave So the conversation shifted into a Q&A session of some sort, and the fat whale asked me what was the best way to lose weight. "Well, there's no such thing as a 'best way' to lose weight.  There's more than one way to skin a cat.  My recommendation is to eat 500-700 calories less than you normally do, take more protein, and remove simple carbs and sugar from your diet." I replied. "Also, take up weight training." I added. Weight training. Those two fucking words, I had come to learn cumulatively in the past ten years, triggers one of the stupidest, most horribly misguided rebuttals from females and beta males, both thin and fat, ninety fucking five percent of the time. "But I don't want to lift weights!  I don't want to get bulky!" she shrieked.  All right, that was it.  My patience was now worn out thin like an anorexic hooker and the wallet of her john who's supporting her coke habit.   "Bulky?  But you're already fat.  What are you worrying about?  If you don't like it, don't do it.  Do cardio instead.  You'll probably end up skinny-fat with a disgusting muffin top, but if that's what you want, then by all means, DO IT.  If, that is, you get past the hurdle of not stuffing your fat face with Entenmann's everyday."  What happened next is not important and certainly wasn't pretty.  I lost a couple of friends after that incident, but hey, one of them told me that he shared that story at a party and had a good laugh about it too.   TL:DR: So the moral of the story is: bacon and whiskey are awesome and Hail Satan.