Talking about a mayo sandwich reminds me of a story from eating lunch at work. I was eating some white chicken chili my fiancée had made when one of my mayo barge coworkers comes in with a sandwich from the cafeteria where we work. On said sandwich was lot of Turkey, ham, and bacon (I'm talking a pile of bacon) and she scraped the lettuce off and removed the tomatoes. She then put on 7 or 8 packets of mayo, the mayo dripped from the sandwich. Along with that heart attack she had two bags of chips (bbq flavor) and a 32oz pop (whether it was diet or not is up for debate because it was in a Styrofoam cup). The cheeto destroyer in question then told me of how she only eats "once a day" but still can't lose weight. I had to fight the urge to tell her that it's because she usually has fast food for dinner at work (usually Popeyes chicken box) and she is constantly guzzling Pepsi. Instead of calling her out I decided to end my lunch early because I was so disgusted by her meal.  I'm sure that was more than you bargained for but I had to get it off my chest.