No Fun for Fatties A long time lurker, I've never posted, but life handed me a lovely gem of fat fuckery this weekend.  Hopefully it amuses you as much as it did me. I'm a big outdoors person. This weekend I went up north to a friend's cottage and wanted to kayak the surrounding rivers and such. On the lake there is a watercraft rental place that does tours as well.  I get to the wicket and rent a kayak for my weight which happens to be a 'child's kayak' (120lb capacity). The obeast behind me loudly whispers, "skinny bitch", to its equally beastly mate and all is well. As I'm picking out my paddle from the rack and signing the releases, a commotion kicks off. Apparently Thing 1 and Thing 2 have a combined weight so high they can't even rent an 18' flat bottom canoe with a capacity of, get this, 600lbs. The female says, "You can't discriminate against heavyset (lol) people. We can sue you for this!" The male is less obnoxious, but echoes the sentiment. Shebeast is yelling at and berating this poor shit kid for doing his job.  Then the kid behind the counter says without missing a beat, "I'm not discriminating against fat people. Physics is. Sorry. You will capsize any craft we rent here and we would be liable for you drowning. Please stop yelling at me or I'll have to get the manager to make you leave." The sheham burst into tears.  They left in a fugue of agitated bacon fumes and defeat.  Probably got pizza on the way home. It's hilarious when hams are too fat for fun.