High fat content in the workplace. Soooooo I got a new job. It's great, pays super well, get rehired at a new location in the country as I plan to gtfo out of my hometown. The bad thing about it? Fatties. There are two, Sadham the boss who is kind of a friendly guy but fucking hopeless and condescending as all hell, and Preggerham the pregnant fat. I'm replacing her as she goes on mat leave in the summer. She's as clever as a rock. Oh my fuck. So I will be vague and a liar to protect my identity a bit (I doubt anyone will find this but you never know) my job is making/selling/ordering/repairing "shoes." The "shoes" are highly customizable due to the fact that everyone needs a different type of "shoe" and typically it needs to fit differently on each "foot." Enough quotations you guys get the idea. The office is nice, but there are two things that answer a few questions about Sadham and Preggerham. First, one of those flouncy "inspiring" quote things written on a black and white tree photo on the wall, I wont say the exact quote because it's long and stupid but the gist is literally "If you can't solve a problem, don't think of it as a problem anymore." Sound fatlogic. Second, is a cupboard for coffee and tea with mugs and spoons and shit, however, there is a fucking PILE of beetus in there. Bossham is snaffeling away at this shit constantly, skittles and gummy bears and those nasty knock off gummy worms that get all rock-like when you don't close the package. Answers THAT question, doesn't it? I am consistently offered beetus but opt for water because I'm not a fan of candy to begin with let alone flab putting me off the idea of food. Complaint 1: Bossham. Bossham eats like the pig he is, and is always fattening up his "healthy" options. If he has a salad, it is slathered in ranch dressing. If he has fruit and yogurt, it is super processed sweetened frozen fruit and flavoured children's yogurt (it has dinosaurs on it, which are awesome, but hints at the sugar overload.) I have seen Bossham in the gym sometimes, I usually go alone or with one buddy but if Bossham is there we say hi and shit because he's trying to be friendly and I'm trying to have a good rapport for work. He has one gym shirt that I'm sure he never washes, it is, unironically (I asked) a logo of the Flash. I have seen him work out and he always picks the elliptical or bike or treadmill and all the stuff that, if you use right, can certainly assist in weightloss. But I have never seen him break a sweat. If you are doing cardio to lose weight and you're not sweating, you're not doing a good enough pace. It's like he thinks he's trying, but is too clueless about how it works that he's not going to improve, especially with the snacking at work. I will begin to drop subtle, indirect hints in case it helps this piggy's meagre efforts. We don't have the type of relationship where I can straight up say "do this, do that, you're making wrong choices," but we're on the topic of fitness often and I use it as an opportunity to talk about his problems in a generalized, third-party context. Bossham is also a huge doormat (in time this may allow me to directly address his faults). Preggerham walks all over him and he doesn't do a dam thing about it, and has asked higher ups in the company to take disciplinary action despite that being his own job. Which brings me to complaint 2: Preggerham. So, going back to the "shoes," you need to be very careful about the details of the shoes because if you order the wrong parts, assemble them incorrectly, or fuck up some other vapid way, it costs the customer a lot of time, is aggravating for everyone involved, and costs the company a lot of money. If we don't catch the mistake and allow the customer to take the shoes they can get hurt.  Preggerham fucks up EVERY DAY I am not exaggerating. Wrong order, wrong repair, damaged goods to be reordered, all the time. Preggerham is specifically told not to do something due to her fucking it up, then does it anyway and fucks it up. She eats all the time too.... but doesn't even make misguided choices on healthy options. Candy bars. All day every day. Sits on her phone all day. Sasses customers. Has hissy fits when she gets in trouble. Takes her 1/2 hour lunch break for 1 hour. Overshares, seriously every second thing she says is TMI. Complains about being pregnant and blames her fuckups on hormones (despite the fact that she fucked up at work long before getting knocked up). Never makes herself useful unless she is directly ordered to. Does a shitty job training me so Bossham has to show me everything despite him having other shit to do. Overall, Preggerham is lazy and entitled and immature, textbook hamitude. When Bossham and I discuss workouts, diets, etc she always has some comment "oooh I could never do that." You fucking could, and you fucking should for your unborn child's benefit if not your own.  I have JUST started here and am expecting to shoulder the majority of the weight in this job after what I am seeing. All while watching lard flab its way through the office, everywhere I look. Thank god the pay is fantastic.