I'm starving at work ~ UPDATE!! No longer starving. That ham that I told you about?  The one that stuck her piggy fingers in my food all the time and tried to eat my lunch?  The one who I caught embezzling thousands of dollars (if not tens-hundreds of thousands) from the company?  Yeah...that one... Let me share with you a little story: It started out like any other day.  I woke up, dreadfully shuffled my way into the shower, knowing what was in store for me.  The same old same old.  Got ready to take my shower, when I get a frantic phone call from the secretary. "We need you here now".   "Why?!" I ask heavily.  Bitter and resentful that I have to go in earlier than my scheduled time, knowing full well that I'll be there well into the night.  "Well....(she replied anxiously)..[ham name redacted] just got fired.  They didn't even give her a chance to clean out her desk...we need you here!" I hung up the phone in disbelief.  The day was lighter already (no pun intended) and I skipped gleefully to work.  Knowing full well that I would not be the brunt of any more jealous harassment (she hated me because I was skinny and 'guys paid attention to me' and made my work life MISERABLE because of it) and I would be able to eat my lunch. I packed my lunch, grabbed my water and headed out the door. I get pulled into a meeting with the Comptroller of the company.  They tell me how grateful they were that I noticed the money trail and said something about it.  They also apologized for all of the harassment I went through. Then...something magical happened.  The Comptroller (who is also a fellow Shitlord) looks me dead in the eyes and hands me a piece of paper.  He says "since we don't have to pay her salary anymore, it's the least we could do". And there it was Ladies and Gents...a 3 dollar an hour raise right off the bat (not including bonus money I received). TL;DR - My fat boss was stealing from our company, harassing me relentlessly and eating my food.  She gets fired, I get her pay.  Motherfuckin' KEK. P.S - those that told me to lawyer up, thanks for the invaluable advice.  I did, and thanks to that I avoided being involved in this nasty embezzlement case.  Supposedly a lot of money went missing in just a couple months, so I can only imagine the total figures.