Holy shit, I lost it at:  and that's a big "if" since he has the willpower of Bridget Jones on a post breakup bender  You win the internet today my friend. Thanks for the laugh. Also, I'd almost bet she's a whale. My SO put on a few pounds, and even at 6'4 it was noticeable he was climbing to the higher end of an acceptable BMI, which is already too lenient. I told him to lose the weight, his face was getting full and he was losing his bone structure to fat - no thanks. If I wanted to be with Roseannes fat cousin I'd let him know, until then, put the fucking fork down. Surprise, the weight was gone faster than it came. If she had any value, she would've left his ass or put a stop to it. Married or not, if the person your with morphs into something else they voided the contract, not you.