Fatty Pyramid Scheme: "It will help you lose weight...it also helps you gain weight!" This story happened a few years back, but I figured I would share it because it shows how delusional fats are. My cousin is an acupuncturist and sends me an invite to attend a seminar at her new business. I'm not thinking and don't ask anything because I figured it was for her acupuncture business and was finally opening up her own shop. Nope. Pull up to the address and it's a house. That's really strange. Walk in. I am surrounded by hams, me, my friend who came with me, my cousin and the guy giving the seminar are the only humans there. I'm thoroughly confused until we sit down for this seminar. It's weight loss coffee. The guy first introduces my cousin and 3 hams as the newest sales rep for the coffee before going into the whole spiel about how great the coffee is and giving all the pseudo science about it suppressing appetite and keeping fat off of you for what you do eat. He then goes into the whole pyramid scheme how instead of just being a customer you can be a rep also and makes thousands a week without leaving your house. Typical BS nonsense. The hams are eating it up. No effort weight loss and easy money! SQUEEEE! He starts going around the room asking every single person whether or not they want to lose a few pounds, he wisely skips over asking me and my human friend. My cousin then talks about how she got involved with the company because hams(she called them "people") were coming to her to see if acupuncture could be used for weight loss, answer no. And, this is a way for her to expand her customer base in her business. Note: I asked her later on if she believed any of the bullshit given about the coffee and she said "no", but allowed her to get hams to come to her and then she could treat all their pain related problems with acupuncture. After the seminar ends the fats are all lining up to get this miracle coffee. I go up to say goodbye to my cousin when the seminar host corners me by the sign up table asking if I'm interested and if I want some free samples. I tell him first I'm not a coffee drinker, he says they have tea also. So I tell him "Listen, I don't need to lose weight. If anything I should put on a few more pounds." His face lights and he goes "Oh! Well you're in luck than! Because the coffee is also a stimulant for weight and muscle gain." I ask him to explain the science he mumbles something about it making you more active, but doesn't reduce appetite(the exact opposite of what he was saying for the last 2 hours) all within earshot of the hams gleefully filling out order forms. I just laughed and left. I wonder if any hams heard or if the fat was clogging up their ears and all their happy squeels were drowning it out. On the plus side, my cousin got a lot of hams as her customers because of that stupid coffee. And, taking money from hams is something I always approve of.