Buildup of My Shitlording Escapades To give just a bit of background, I've been casually talking to this (Now, I'm not sure to what degree as she hides herself pretty well. But there are the telltale signs of hammity, like the missing collarbone, pudgy fingers, etc.) ham- Not as friends, we met for something else and later 'met', or revealed who we were- Never physically met. We did that a few months ago, and since then I've made sure to casually shitlord... No ham can go unaffected. (In case this helps, it was over SnapChat.) I'll try to remember most of the things I've said/done: -After my discovery of Hammity in this online contact, I've sent casual photos of my legs/torso/collarbones, etc... Guess who always tried to hide her own? With Zoomed in facial shoots, filters, etc.: Allll the ham-tricks.  -At first, food was brought up an odd amount of times. Anyone want to guess from whose part? Anyhow, at first I would agree about my love for food just to hear it ramble on about whatever greasy food it ate. (McDonalds multiple times a week, takeout, the whole shebang. No foodhate, just keep things in moderation! Not that I need to tell all you shitlords that.) But a little more recently, I've been having a few personal problems with food (Nothing big, just stopped stuff I deemed 'bad', and am currently edging to a little lower intake than I should be having.)- And of course, I make sure she gets a little tic when she goes on about that food. For example, she'll mention some food and I'll say how many goddamn calories are in it, and how I wouldn't want to even try that- it would make me feel too sick. -I also tell her if I haven't eaten much (Just from regular not-stuffing-my-face constantly) and occasionally send pictues of my food. Which, as it happens, is mostly raw fruits and vegetables. -One time though, months ago, I had bought an ice cream cup: Three scoops plus toppings, and I hadn't eaten any in a long time- It was fucking delicious. (Well, at first. I started feeling sticky and sick about halfway) and I told her about it and how HUGE it was, and how I couldn't even finish or eat dinner that night (It really killed my appetite). She has sent a picture before of her own desserts, and let me tell you: My ice cream wasn't nearly close to her usual. -Which leads me to my next point: She goes to the gym every few weeks, and makes sure people know about it... I asked her what she did and: she does a bit on the treadmill (No running), no weights, and around ten minutes on the stairs. She tells me, after I give her the calorie count (I honest to god do it in a subtle/sweet way, so she can't REE over it without sounding like a bitch.) that she works all of it off anyways, and that you should 'treat' yourself. -Sometimes, if it pertains to the conversation, I bring up overweight and obesity statistics for my country (They're different) and go on about how awful it is... Guess who doesn't have much of a response, she tries to change the subject as fast as possible. -I also- on more than one occasion (As shopping has come up multiple times) complain about all the crazy vanity sizing, saying how it's insane that I fit into a size 2 jean (I'm nearly 5'8, and not THAT slim- "normally" (Who knows what normal is anymore) around a size four.) Her country uses a different clothes number system, see, and so I went online to a size chart that put me as a size 8UK, and I pretended not to know the difference and whine about how the heck I was in an EIGHT, I have never been that big, etc... I am sure she got the message. -The best part? She has done so much to try to hide her size: Never mentioning it while discussing size/clothes, talking about going to the gym, all the photos with angles, all of it; that she cannot come out and complain against anything I've been saying/doing, otherwise she'll out herself as a fatty to me. Like I didn't know, Hammalina.  Bonus: One time her friend took her phone and sent a picture of her to her story. It was very blurry and not all of her but it CLEARLY showed her... Rolling girth. TL;DR: For months I've been subtly- or not so subtly- shitlording this in-the-closet-ham over Snapchat. Also, I want to hear some more ideas for shitlording her, if you have any! Hit me with your best shot guys.