Shitlord Vending Machine (Short story) This is the short tale of a diabeastus and its (soon to be whales) children. I had just finished leg day and was walking out of the gym today. On my way past the front desk, I spied a massive ham and its children. The diabeastus had gotten a manager out front and was complaining to the manager about how it had tried to get a soda from the vending machine. Apparently the machine worked for the person before her (she saw this). She stepped up to the glucose plate and put in some ButterBucks (money that is greasy from wallowing in leftover burger wrappers in its purse), and the machine did not dispense a soda. So the ham shoved a few more ButterBucks into the vending machine and it took the money but did not dispense. Manager told the ham to go try again and by this point I was out of the lobby. As I walked to my car I looked back and saw the obeast waddling out of the gym to its car (inevitably in a handicapped spot). Freaking fatasses... Anyways, the shitlord vending machine appeared to have won the battle. The ranch guzzler must have gone to a nearby McDiabeetus for her nutritious beverage.  Pic of lard: https://slimgur.com/image/zgZ edit: dang typos