Envious jewelry store Ham. Mrs. Cthulhu and I went to the grocer for a few items after a date afternoon. She was done up in one of her best dresses and looking fantastic. After paying, I saw the jewelry store that's in the main store and got the idea to get her a surprise mother's day gift. So I walked over with her, and out from behind the counter pops our favourite sales lady, a Vietnamese shitlady who's an absolute sweetheart. She's pushing seventy and still looks amazing, and recently lost her husband. Despite that, she's still going through life with a smile. We hug it up for a second or two, and she helped the wife pick out this great emerald earring /necklace combo. Out of nowhere, this ham steak who I've never seen before walks in, and goes behind the counter. New employee, I'm guessing. This thing is in the neighbourhood of 300 pounds, which by volume alone puts it in everyone's neighbourhood. The first look we got was one of mere curiosity, but then after the Mrs. donned her earrings, she pulled her hair back so that I could festoon her with the necklace. Whether it was the shitlady being spoiled, shitlording by existing, or just the way the delicate chain melted itself to the contours of her neck and collarbones, I'll never know. What I do know is that it shot us the shittiest look, and then turned its back on us and refused to look our way again for the entire rest of the transaction. In retrospect, I think that it was -  Obviously spontaneous gift giving by a fit male.  The striking appearance of Mrs. Cthulhu.  The final dawning realization that since it was a mother's day gift, that hot little vixen has had at least one kid (several, actually), and still looks better than any mayo of any age.  I hope I inspired it to Polish off a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's with syrup and weep Buttery, Buttery tears long into the night.  Happy mothers day, all!