As promised, here's a short one about one of my clients. So I'm a certified PT now. Quit my retail and factory jobs, and started taking on clients full time. I'm having a blast. Fatties pay me to shitlord them. It's awesome. And why do I take on fatty clients as well as humans? It's because I believe in them, and wish to do all I can to help them in their weight loss jour... lol, no. It's 'cause the portion terrorists have to pay cancellation fees. Easy money, and more time to spend with my fit clients, who push me as hard as I push them. Anyway, there's this one beachball smuggler, I'll call him hrrkFUCK, 'cause that's the sound he makes whenever attempting an incredible feat of strength, like standing up, who keeps asking me for diet advice during our sessions. Now, I'm not a certified dietician (yet. I'm saving up as much as I can from this gig towards tuition), but hrrkFUCK is being your typical instant gratification grease factory, so I cave, and make a diet plan for him (that costs extra, of course), as well as have the pork orc sign paperwork stating that he will not use it without consulting his doctor first (covering all my bases... especially with the proportionately challenged). He studies it for a while, and I can tell hrrkFUCK is perplexed, because he's giving me the same kind of look my dog would if I tried to explain quantum entanglement to him. After a while, I finally ask "What's wrong hrrkFUCK?" "Where are the treats? Can't I at least have some treats?", he oinks. "They're right there", I reply, while pointing to the fruit, "Apples, berries, peaches, and even plums!" "That's it?!", he wheezes. "That's all I get? ...this is pretty sad and pathetic." "Not as sad and pathetic as dying from totally preventable, obesity related diseases, a decade before you hit my age", I shoot back. I haven't heard from hrrkFUCK since, but it's only been a few weeks. Part of me hopes he's laying face down in a pool of his own grease somewhere, but the other part of me hopes the check for his last session won't bounce when i go to cash it.