Shitlording at the Gym So last night, as every night, I headed to the gym to do my workout. I go late so that I don't have to deal with crowds and can get the machines I want and essentially be left alone.  I'm on the bike sweating my nuts off, when this landmass of lard comes waddling over -complete in his lycra cycling shorts (fatties in spandex/lycra is another discussion altogether) and plops down on the bike right next to me. Now it's around 1230 in the morning, so there are 7 other bikes free (I'm the only one there), but no, he has to sit next to me.  At this point I've been grinding away for 30 minutes, and my legs are starting to ache (the wonderful reminder my body gives me that I'm working hard not to be a mouth breathing candy snarfing tub lord), and I'm having a hard time keeping my cadence at 90rpm, but I do. Fatty starts spinning like a maniac, and shoots me a look like "THIS is how it's done." I sigh to myself, knowing exactly how this will go down. I glance at his bike - he's on level 4 resistance - I'm on level 16, so it's not much of a surprise that he's spinning the wheels like Lance Armstrong on steroids. Unable to resist the bait, I kick my revs up, then increase my resistance level to boot. Sure enough, after 5 minutes, he can't even keep a cadence of 70 on his level 4 bike, and by 8 minutes he's wheezing and panting and sure enough, hops off the bike. I continue riding along (my workouts are 90 minutes, not 8), and he starts to lumber away casual, acting as if he only really meant to do 8 minutes anyway. I say "Hey, great workout" and start cackling out loud, and he turns around and glares at me. I increase the resistance on my bike higher yet again, then put my head down and start riding hard, as I keep chuckling. Moments like that make working out with fatties so worthwhile. Amazing how these tubs of delusion are convinced they are in as good or better shape than those of us who actually work out. I don't know if it's denial or straight up mental defect, but I see this over and over and over. "I can do whatever I set my mind to." Yeah, apparently not - you can't even walk away from a fucking Snickers bar. Did I mention I hate fat people?