UPDATE: EatBeast Roommate Develops an Eating Disorder, Panic Ensues Hello shitlords and shitladies,  After a nice relaxing week in the sun, being continually reminded why I'm never having children via my uncle's aunt's fat ass's bitch's kid (no one really knows why they showed up or who they are...), I am now back at school. I had a six hour car ride back to campus, and I was eager to get to my apartment, take off my shoes, have a non-beetus snack, and just chill. I pictured myself in my own little world, flopping on my bed and relaxing.  Unfortunately, that's not the world I live in.  Snooping is fun. I love snooping! It's like playing 'Spies', only you're an adult and instead of searching for who likes who on the playground, you can uncover juicy secrets about people's shit lives and put them on the internet for all to see! A snoop-perk of being a shitlady is that my 120 lb. frame is very sneaky indeed. Because I'm not a fucking farm animal, I can lurk around without being spotted for shaking the floor (true story).  It was on the phone with its mom. I waited by the door, key in hand, but decided to wait a minute because its voice was growing higher and more shrill, and, if it was killing itself in that moment, I didn't want to walk in on the adipose-volcano eruption. Nope. Fuck that shit. It wasn't telling its mom about its sores or its lack of purpose or even it's "absolute bitch" (yours truly) of a roommate.  It was telling its mom about its bulimia. After about 30 seconds or so of very panicked talking about this eating disorder that's apparently ruining its life, it goes quiet and gets off the phone. I assume it died of cardiac arrest (no cleanup involved) so I walked in. It was still alive, and I said hey, threw a quick bag together, and went to my shitlord boyfriend's house to bang/watch 'Planet Earth'/admire each other's collarbones.  The next day, back at my place, I decide to clean out some old makeup and things in the bathroom. I stumble upon a new bottle (in the jungle of original pill bottles because when you have 64860249 different personality disorders/cundishuns I guess that's how many you need) and studied the label. Curious, I headed to Google and typed in what I found: syrup of ipecac.  It's a kind of medicine to induce vomiting, presumably what Reeee-Reeee Rhonda is using to attempt to be human sized.  How. How the fuck.  I'll keep you posted.