A story to share with my fellow Shitlords So not long ago a friend and I had a big night out, so we decided to go into the nearest shopping center and grab some good old McDonald's before our hangovers took a turn for the worst. As a side note, (this is key to later on in the story), the McDonald's is down two flights of stairs from where we currently were. As we were starting to walk down the stairs (we were both taking it slow because our heads hurt) we noticed a young whale some way away from the ocean. We called this whale lollies. Now the reason for her name is we didn't actually see her, first. We heard her resonating mating call, much to the irritation of my friend and I. "LOLLIES" screeched the whale as it launched its unstoppable mass at incredible velocities towards the lolly store adjacent to the stairs. Both my friend and i nearly break down in tears from laughter after this rare whale sighting; however that wasn't the end.  Post our seemingly short trip down the stairs we talked at the bottom of the stairwell for 5 minutes before approaching the McDonalds. As we approached the glorious grease merchant the ground began to shake. The earth was rumbling at our feet until finally a quiet ding noise paused the madness. Two metal doors opened 40 meters away from us, revealing this story's protagonist, our favorite whale, LOLLIES!! Now at this point my friend and I are already in line for McDonalds and he looks at me and says, "it would be so funny if she came over...." His sentence was interrupted by the thud thud thud of a whale charging. charging... right in our direction! We were now playing a giant game of bowling and with a ball larger then all the pins combined she was guaranteed a strike. Luckily for us we managed to move our weary heads away from the phenomenal force charging straight to the front of the line.  Having survived almost certain death, I was just glad to have survived and wasn't concerned with her act of defiance to public waiting lines (which is one of my biggest pet peeves). After having ordered my hash brown and burger my friend and i sat down just in time to notice the fupanova collect her order. She walked out with two giant paper bags filled with food, sadly i couldn't find out the bag's contents but my goodness they were loaded.  TLDR; Fat girl goes to lolly shop. takes elevator down flights of stairs to MacDonald. Cuts line. Leaves with arms filled with grease bags.