Hams in burger king. Worse than you think This happened some days ago but it's taken me that long to understand it all.  So I stop by for some cheap and quick food. A standard size meal is enough to fill me up for the rest of the day, and I usually leech off their wifi (and diet coke) anyways.  Hams in fast food?! Why, I never! Now, it seemed like your normal assortment, hams of all races, genders, ages, severity of morbid obesity, all came wobbling in to order absurd amounts of fast food, and likely even more in the drive through.  I'm sitting down to begin my meal and two hams, a mating pair likely, come slowly trudging through the door, panting under the strain. The female looking one (it had makeup) was babbling on the phone, while the male looking one (it had facial hair), easily twice her size, took on the task of ordering its food.  Massive and numerous meals for both. I can barely fit in a regular sized meal, and that's with my diet coke, but they each got several meal sets (sets?) as well as the biggest beetus size ever. Whatever. Fats be fat. Let them eat cake.  I finish my meal and continue refilling my diet coke. Much more and they'll need to build a dam behind me. Speaking of which, I go off to the bathroom, passing by the plentiful meal of the excessively bodied. I feel like I heard one grunt in my direction, or perhaps it was just experiencing difficulties in inhaling endless amounts of fries.  I go to the restroom, and I end up browsing voat and reddit on my phone (hey, free wifi). I don't remember how long I'd been there when I hear the door open, and it's the she whale, still yapping on the phone.  Its heavy footsteps grow closer, and I can only guess how difficult it must be to lift each tree trunk of a leg, based on how slowly it plods. It opens the handicapped stall, of course.  What happened next... dear god. "Lemee have a second" it wheezes into its phone, and barely after it says this, it plops down very loudly onto the toilet, and instantly I hear the most horrid sounds ever to have been heard. And so fucking loud too, Jesus. This super sized ham was having super sized diarrhea right next to me.  I'm frozen, in disgust, amazement, something. After what seems like an eternity, it finishes, and promptly leaves WITHOUT washing its hands or even flushing! And still squealing into the phone.  I only have a few seconds to realize just how gross of a thing I've witnessed before the stench wafts over and just destroys me. I'm panicking and trying to get out as quick as possible.  I escape without puking somehow, and once I get out I see both hams still there. The he beast had obtained more beetus, and the she lard sack was shoveling it down its open mouth.  Just. All of my wats. Tl Dr ham shits itself horribly for whatever pour soul it was talking to, and goes back to binging without any hygienie