Fire Drill Fat = Fire is a Shitlord Fire drill time at work. Workplace was a tall building downtown. Office was on the seventh floor. Office Fat is big. Really big. Not quite to My 600 lb Life circusfat proportions, but close. Definitely deep on the other side of deathfat. Fat enough that he doesn't (can't physically reach) wipe. Fat enough that he drops trou completely in order to piss at work. He prefers the stall to drop trou, but has been witnessed dropping trou to the floor in front of the urinal when the stalls were full.  Fire is a total shitlord, so the Office Fat must use the stairs (also a known shitlord). Everyone made it down the 7 flights of stairs quickly, then waited over thirteen minutes more for Office Fat to exit. What if there had been an actual fire? Could Office Fat have moved faster? I doubt it, not by much. Surprised he did not drop dead from the effort.  He's 25.