But you'll notice it's always hams telling themselves "I look cute." Or else they tell tales of these mysterious, nameless individuals who instantly come bursting out of the woodwork every time the ham waddles out the front door, "Soooo many people told me how cute I look!" Sure they did. These hams' laughably pathetic attempts stink of desperation every single time, and ultimately they fool no one (except for the other mayo mammoths online, who are also desperate to believe it's true).