American ham yells "DISCRIMINASHUNZ!" in Japanese tattoo parlour. I'm a pretty well known tattoo artist in Japan who has a self sustaining client base. Feck it, I'm anonymous so I can brag. I love it here. Fatties are few and far between and shitlady grannies are eager to click their tongues when a ham enters the subway tilting the car 10 degrees in the process. All I have to do is sit back and chuckle while 'Murican hammies try to fit themselves into 50 cm wide escalators and jam themselves in the process. The country is shitlording the hams on it's own. Oh Grorious NIPPONLAND! Anyways...  Every now and then an obeast expat or a travelling whale who is not one of my regular clients comes in to get a tattoo. Yesterday two college aged exchange students came in. A 5'2" petite, meek French girl and a planetary 5'8" 250+ lbs ham from the land of the free. From the waft of perfume and sweat that filled my poor shop the moment it entered, I'm guessing the ham was once a female.  My shop is on the 3rd floor with no lifts so I'm assuming the travel upwards took a good 15 minutes for the obeast. It was panting and sweating profusely with a face the colour of fresh period blood. I have to admit that I was slightly impressed by the effort it put in to reach the shop, subsequently reminding myself that it probably exerts the same amount of energy for everyday menial tasks like walking from it's room to the kitchen and back. This was one dedicated ham. Once the ham catches it's breath suckling on a gooey coffee/caramel substance from Starbeetus (First time seeing that size of beverage in Japan.) the French girl starts explaining what she wants for a tattoo. Pretty generic stuff...  Quote, check.  Cherry blossoms, check.  Placement on the shoulderblade, check. The size and approximate cost are discussed, the down payment is handed over and an appointment date is set. Before I go on explaining what occured, I want to cut in with a mini-rant. I fucking hate fat people. I hate them, I hate tattooing them. I hate everything about them. All of you here probably have similar sentiments so I'll skip the reasons of my personal hate and address why I hate tattooing them. They're smelly. They're sweaty and they're so fucking wobbly it drives me nuts. In order to tattoo, you have to stretch the skin. Otherwise your lines will turn out squiggly and shitty and you can't put ink into the skin because it keeps on bouncing away from the needles rendering it impossible to penetrate and get the ink in. There are certain areas that are hard to tattoo even on the fittest of people like around the armpit and the abdominal region. It's not hard, but it's usually a little more time consuming than say, the inner arm. With fats, it's a never ending struggle trying to get the patch of skin as taut as possible to no avail due to the layers and layers of fat beneath it. It's like trying to tattoo jelly. Even if the skin is stretched to it's limits, the fat under it never ceases to wobble. This means that the estimated amount of time spent to get the tattoo done properly doubles.  Back to the story... After the French girl is done. the ham starts speaking from where it was sitting without even showing the decency to get up and waddle up to the counter like any normal being would. It huffs that the design will be the same with a different quote but it wants the tattoo to be on it's ribcage abdominal fat fold #2. I cringe and try to make it change it's mind to no avail. After my futile attempt, I start explaining that even though the design would be the same we would have to resize it to make it fit her fat fold and due to the area being harder to tattoo and the time going into the tattoo would be doubled, the price would rise. She throws a hissy fit. Yells DISCRIMINEESHUNZ!! and accuses me of judging her by her size.  Which I did.  Which is my bloody job.  If a 5 cm tattoo and a 20 cm tattoo were supposed to be the same price I'd be out of business quite quickly. She tells me to make the tattoo the same size as the French girl's and I explain to her that the pricing is also related to the time the tattoo would consume so even if it was the same size, it would still be a little pricier. At this point I'm just fucking with her. If it was a normal person I would resize it and pull the same price writing off the additional 15 minutes it would take due to the placement but I was having so much fun I couldn't stop. I try to make her consider a different body part. Upper arm, her shoulder? Nope. She wants it on her ribcage/fat fold because she saw a fit chick on tubblr with a similar tattoo placement and it looked sexy. Fucking delusional ham. her boobs which are basically fat deposits were eaten up by the surrounding fat and she was still going on about her RIBCAGE!!!  Urgh. Long story short, she said that she would go somewhere else for the tattoo and I was the rudest, most entitled person she had ever met. Said that I had fat shamed her and left in a huff, leaving her fucking beetus cup and sweaty tissues on the coffee table. Un-fucking-believable. The poor French girl was taken quite aback by what occured. Apparently, she had only mentioned to the ham that she was going to the tattoo parlour and the ham had insisted that she too would come along. She had sent some images to hammy via text explaining what she wanted and apparently had no idea the ham wanted the same tattoo as her, but was too shocked to say anything a few minutes ago when she found out. After a 10 minute small talk session the French girl's phone went off. It was ham. Pissed that the girl hadn't followed her out of the shop. They arranged to meet and French girl apologised to us and swiftly left. Later that evening French girl phoned the shop confirming her appointment, apologising for the ham and stating that she would be coming alone this time. Fucking fat people.