Salty Whale Attempts to Penis Shame Me in a Locker Room Went to my gym's indoor pool for the first time in a long while to do laps, work on my max VO2, etc.  There were a couple of lane lines roped off at the opposite far ends of the pool--one lane for the "fast swimmers" at one end, and another for "steady swimers" at the opposite end.  In between the roped off lanes, one could see the typical Shit Lady grandmas wearing floral swim caps or shower caps in the shallow end doing resistance training with water weights, and a couple of whales wearing swim trunks and t-shirts while swimming.  As an aside, who the French fuck wears a t-shirt while swimming? In the "steady swimmer" lane opposite of me, there were whales in their 20s to 30s, (but they could also be in their 50s?  It's so damned impossible to say) toddling along with a kickboard.  Their "workouts" consisted almost entirely of pushing off from the wall periodically, and merely drifting like icebergs while actual "steady swimmers" would pass around them.  Their lack of effort was obvious, and cumbersome to other people in "the steady lane" of the pool. Anyhow, my work out was nearly done.  I'd clocked about an hour and a half of laps, and had outlasted about 2 to 5 different rounds of whales getting out of the pool, only to be replaced by different whales getting into the pool, and doing their own leisurely iteration of what I internally refer to as "the dance of the icebergs."  Apart from the lifeguard, I'm the last person in the pool around midday as I do my wall-outs, take my goggles off, stretch, and go to the locker room. The pool locker room is set up in such a way that the door only leads around a corner directly into the open shower area, and then into the locker area.  There are two ways to enter the pool area: from the main doors, and from the locker rooms. I pass the showers, go to my locker, grab my bodywash, and head back to the showers, which were the ones where you hit a button on the pipe/post, and the water would come out for 30 seconds to two minutes at a time.  I mostly do my business with my suit on, only taking it off to wash the chlorinated water from my bait and tackle at the very end. During this period of brief nudity, a couple of fatties with their duffle bags enter the locker room from the pool-side door.  They lumbered around the corner through the shower area, they pass around the shower heads while I was naked in the corner, and they give me the stink eye as they waddle and wheeze their way through into the locker area.  I thought nothing of it, grabbed my towel, dried briefly, and followed them out (or rather, got stuck behind them while they obstructed the hallway to the locker area by walking slowly in double file) while my shower completed its last 2-minute cycle, running loudly in the background. Walking into the locker area behind them (and the ground trembling from the force of their steps), one fatty said rather loudly to the other something along the lines of "gawd, if I had a dick like that guy's, I'd probably compensate by working out so much, too," to which the other snickered, or snorted, or managed to wheeze out a couple of coughed laughs from around what I assume was a meatball-with-7-cheeses-and-quadruple-mayo Subway sandwich perpetually lodged in this fat fuck's esophagus. (To clarify, there really isn't anything odd about my bait and tackle, save for the fact that it is an average unit that happens to be uncircumcised, which is not the norm where I live.) I'm still shuffling rather silently behind these fat fucks as they chortle their laughter through their thick fucking necks, and I decide to make my presence known by coughing rather loudly behind them.  They both flinch a little bit, look back at me with a towel wrapped around my waist, stare open mouthed at me, and shuffle more quickly into the locker area, after which I walk by them into a separate, walled-off alcove of lockers, change, and go home. Now, having swam competitively and recreationally for years, there are four basic tenants to locker-room etiquette that everyone civil should follow.  Every man, child, woman, everything in between with any amount of common decency obeys the four laws.  The four laws are perfect.  They are as follows: 1.  Don't look:  Long story short, don't stare at people changing in the locker room.  It's fucking creepy.  Sure, you can hold conversations while changing, but you don't stare at people's bodies. 2. Don't touch: this is self explanatory. 3. Don't ask: if someone has a scar, or a weird tattoo, or something unusual about their person, you mind your business, change, and don't bother them about it. 4. Don't tell: if someone has a hairy birthmark of their ass that looks like Teen Wolf, or has some other odd feature of their body, like a tattoo directly on their ass, you most CERTAINLY do not tell people about it.  It is not your business, and not your information to share. Fatties, much like in every other aspect of their lives, fail utterly at common decency, and cannot respect the four laws.  Fuck off, you salty, drifting fatties. Edit: was listening to their chattering while changing, and apparently the one whale was trying to shame me for having foreskin, not for penis size like I originally thought. Wtf