This.  I have exactly one obese friend (the rest are fit running and gym shitladies and shitlords). The only reason I'm friends with her is because she doesn't infantilize herself. She's not a "big girl"; she's "very overweight." She dresses like an adult human (she's 37). She has tats but she doesn't run around in sleeveless shirts. She won't try to squeeze into too-small seats on the subway. If more fats were like her, I'd hate them a lot less.  (Although I still shitlord her. I just texted her a pic of the age group award I won in a recent 10 mile road race.)