Fatties Are 5,000 Lb Vehicles... Short funny for today.  So I'm backing out of a parking spot and my car has these super fancy shmancy radars in the rear bumper that alert me if a car is coming from the left or right while my ass end is sticking out from the cars next to me.  It beeps at me.  I get the "vehicle approaching from the left" message.  I wait.  Still waiting... How slow is this motherfucker driving down the row of cars???  Then, I see the "vehicle".  Big 'ol fat cunt.  A traveling gunt.  Waddling down the MIDDLE OF THE PARKING LOT.  Just waddling along.  I have to put my car in park because I'm about to rupture a testicle from laughing so hard.  So my car's computer thought a butter barge was a 5,000 lb automobile.  Enjoy your week my Shitlords and Shitladies.