Fat fuck science teacher does dumb things I've decided to share this story for entertainment and lolz, as I was reminded of it today. This happened around 4 years ago. So my old science teacher is a fat fuck. It was kind of dumb, and frequently had to look up the spellings and meanings of common words even though it was "British". Anyway one day, we were doing some idiot lesson on distillation techniques and shit (which the class had already learned before), and for some bizarre reason it decided to distill some ethanol out of a beaker with this improvised crappy cork-thing in the top, because "we don't have any round bottom flasks right now, tee hee!" Anyway it switches on the flame, and the ethanol began to boil. What she didn't realize was that its improvised cork was leaking, and the ethanol caught on fire. (It's important to know that ethanol flames are almost invisible btw.) The cork began to turn black because of charring. It said in this sing-song voice, "Oh look! Maybe the ethanol is reacting with the cork and turning it black!" (LOL. Who tf thinks that, rather than the more logical "oh the cork's burning".) Then it used something to poke the cork, and it moved the cork out of place a bit. A larger flame came out, and this time the ham realized due to the heat. (roast ham anyone?) It reee'd and waved its appendages around trigglypuff style, before coming to its senses and switching off the heat.