Ham struggles with strange machinery also known as "bicycle" Narrated to me by my husband who was shopping around at the sports store while I was trying some stuff on in the changeroom, so no photos of the beast. He was hanging around the bike area when a hambeast waddled up and started loudly complaining to the store employee - this is a local enthusiast store, so everybody who works there is a serious athlete and knows their stuff. My husband is fairly into cycling, so the exchange caught his attention. The fatty's presenting complaint was that she "Has been unable to ride this bike for 6 months straight now! Every time it's broken and I've had to bring it in!" When the employee asked her to elaborate, it turns out she has attempted to use this bike a grand total of 3 times during those 6 months. According to my husband, the employee took one look at the bike and said "The tires are deflated. Have you tried inflating them?" To which the ham indignantly said "Of course not! Why would they ever deflate if they are not punctured?!" The employee (who probably has done more cycling in the last 24 hours than this ham has in her 40+ years), had to explain to the ham that if you don't use a bike for months on end, the tires will naturally lose pressure. Ham apparently continued to argue that the bicycle is somehow "defective" and that she is not able to "stick to her exercise program." The employee then apparently went to the store computer and looked up the bike, and every single time she has brought this bike in for the exact same issue - tires losing pressure after months of non-use - and every time the tires were checked and were completely fine and simply needed a bit of reinflation. TL;DR - bikes are practically space rockets