Sushi Fats Mr. Ferret took myself & Baby Ferret out to our favourite sushi joint for dinner. Seated directly behind me were a smallfat, an obeast, and their 2 male handlers. The two middle-aged calorie hoarders were discussing the topic of dieting. I overheard the following conversation as we were waiting for the server to bring our bill: Obeast: After like 2 days, I don't like salad anymore. I don't want to see another salad. So instead I eat veggies and dip. Smallfat: What kind? Obeast: All kinds of veggies. Carrots, celery, grape tomatoes... everything. Smallfat: No I mean what kind of dip. Obeast: Oh! It has to be something creamy. Ranch or a blue cheese dip. I love a good, creamy dip. The way she said this was so sexual, like how you would fantasize about a sex partner. It was revolting. Smallfat: I really like these edemame, they're so healthy. Obeast: (To the human-shaped men at the table) I heard they lower your testosterone levels. Smallfat: What? No, it's just soy. Obeast: (Loudly) How is that soy? Look at it, it's a vegetable! That's not soy. Smallfat: ...they're soy beans. That's how they grow. Obeast: Well they're still not good for you. I had to stifle my laughter as we packed up Baby Ferret and left. Obeasts don't know anything about food, other than how to stuff it down their gullets as quickly as possible.