Managed to get some quality shitlording in a Starbucks As the title suggests, I was in a Starbucks when this happened. I was filling up a cup of free water, getting ready to leave, when next to me I see a hamplanet of gargantuan proportions, barking orders at the barista as to the composition of his beetus beverage. I'm average height (five nine) and he towered over me by a head and a half. His tits would give Lara Croft a run for her  money. His gut was even larger than his tits. He was dressed in sweatpants and a tee, which was extremely odd considering the fact that it was fucking frigid outside. (I guess when you're that obese, it works like blubber.) He was pasty as hell with an awful, stringy beard. He had on sneakers, which were hideously abused from the absolutely fucking massive amounts of weight grinding them into the ground every second of the day. Basically, if reddit were a person. I took a sip of water and got my eyes as big as I could get them. I'm one of those guys that's cursed with a babyface. Add to that the recent run-in with anemia that's left me looking like I belong in an Anne Rice novel and the fact that I'm not that tall, and you have somebody who's 18 but looks 15 (dead serious, my roommate has said this). This is... unfortunate... in the best of times, but it works great for when I need to get away with shit, because nobody suspects the bookish-looking idealist who appears to be about five years younger than everybody else. It's probably what stunned the fat, because I managed to get this shot in before hustling out the door: "Hey dude, enough tattoo ink and you could be a human globe!"