UPDATE: Dignity vs. Chicken Strips Hello shitlords and shitladies and shitty fat people! This past week, I was on spring break with my family in a sunny, coastal town. Every year, my grandparents rent a couple of condos for the family for a week, and we spend time just catching up and going to the beach. My grandparents aren't the shitty, gross, incredibly elastic kind of old people, but, while they aren't fat, they're also not shitlords. This became incredibly more apparent than usual when my aunt brought along her adult son and his wife.  The son was your typical redneck. Kind of pudgy (definitely fat enough for me to HATE him and DISREGARD him as a human, but not fat enough to drop dead on the spot), just a sort of lackluster look about him, like he was too bored/mildly-inbred to comprehend much of the vacation. His wife, however, is probably the biggest abomination to the human race I've ever had to see in a swimsuit. Her roll has a roll. Rollception. Only, instead of Leonardo DiCaprio being all up in that, she has her 8th-grade educated husband, which is half a trillion steps down. When she wears pants (ill-fitting, of course) the roll that bunches up above the waist has no room to go because of her under-arm/ribcage-area rolls, so the roll expands outward, compounding on itself.  I look at my dad and he just sort of shakes his head. We all get to the beach a little bit later, and Two-Ton Tessie is (of course) wearing a two piece. The top of the suit is very low cut, but, although this is scientifically nearly-impossible, her boobs aren't that big so her fat BETWEEN the boobs oozes out of the top. It is like a waterfall, only really fucking awful.  They have a daughter. This kid, instead of being a lovechild of a redneck and a ham (although that's a really shitty combination) is, I'm pretty sure, actually the lovechild of Satan and Hitler. Screaming, throwing shit, being a little shit, sticking its shitty hands in people's food, this kid is the worst. I was trying to be nice to my grandparents, even though they were cool with these shitsacks crashing, so I hinted at how sweet the kid is, despite its mental handicaps.  Apparently the kid isn't even mentally handicapped. That's just how it is.  The last night of the trip, we're all at a restaurant, having dinner. The shitchild is being a dick, running around. At this point, we're all just annoyed at this family. Sensing this, Jabba the Wife makes an attempt to heave herself up from the chair, but catches her breath and says something like, "Kids will be kids."  Instead of disciplining her spawn, she dug into a plate of chicken strips. (I believe it's scientifically proven that if the ONLY thing on a menu you like is chicken strips and you're 30 years old, you're subhuman). Instead of taking the time to make her child a tiny bit more pleasant on the world it has to live in before beetus claims it at age 14 or whatever, this bitch went to town on chicken strips.  I prayed for shark-infested waters. My prayer wasn't answered.  I arrive back at school tomorrow, look for more roommate stories!