Smallfat mother is driving me crazy. So my mom is a "smallfat" - she's not a planet, but she's 4'11" and carrying an extra 20 and it is not attractive. And she arrived today for Christmas and is already driving me completely batshit crazy. She's up my butt about everything, from the way I parent (apparently I'm too hard on my kids, because I won't enable their bad behavior and make them eat their damned chicken and vegetables before treats) to the way I cook ("does that have caaaaarbs?" one minute, and then the next minute her diabetic ass is sucking down frozen yogurt). She's watching my food intake like a hawk and asking me why I'm using MyFitnessPal (um, macros?!). Then she goes to hang up her giant coat (WTF, she lives in a warm climate, and it's supposed to be in the mid-60s to high 70s for the rest of the week) and breaks one of the hooks in my closet. AND she belittles the training I do, saying, "Are you going to do your exercise thing tomorrow?" Fuck yes. I'm going to fucking go to the box and swing kettlebells and run afterward, and I'm going to get home before you have a chance to feed my kids any of the beetus shit you're eating. And if you fuck up my coffee maker in the morning, I will be forced to make you sleep in the garage. Fucking-A. It's not just minor children that suffer as children of fats. Adult children who are actively trying to do a better job still have to put up with this shit.