Hams and Retail (Kinda Long) Hello! Long time reader, first time poster.  I work retail. Specifically at a Midwestern grocery chain. If you've ever worked retail before, you would know that there is a lot of physical movement involved, especially working at a grocery store: bringing in carts, going to get things for customers who've forgotten something, stocking shelves, the usual.  This is not a problem for me, seeing as I am physically fit and human sized. However, since I live in the Midwest, I encounter quite a few hams, either as cow-workers or customers.  What I don't understand is how the fuck hams that "work" retail stay fat! Ever since I've started working, I've actually dropped weight because I am more physically active than I used to be. But I see some of these poor excuses for laborers and I just cannot get my mind around how in hell they stay so fucking big! There's one in particular that really gets on my, and all of the other people in my department's, nerves. We'll call her Piggy. Now, Piggy is a high-schooled aged ham, about 5' 2", and pushing 260 pounds. She wears black stretchy pants because she can't find anything that zips that'd properly contain her massive fupa, and the largest uniform shirt we provide struggles to stay on her body. She's pretty much a lost cause. Now, Piggy is fucking slow, as most hams are. We once had a customer that had an egg broke in her carton, and as courtesies, it's our job to run back and get a new carton. This pathetic human being took 15 minutes to get this woman a carton of eggs. I actually went back to see if she had gotten lost or didn't know where the were. Low and behold, this fat fuck was standing in front of the cooler that holds the eggs, and let me tell you: she looked fucking befuddled. Like, she's what I imagined a baby would look like if they had just seen an egg for the first time.  So I grab the eggs from this breathing tub of lard and take them to the woman who was waiting, apologizing profusely for my cow-workers incompetence. (Customer was also a shitlady, seeing as she was a thin woman who gave Piggy a hard once over after she finally half waddled, half stomped back over.)  How in the hell this thing got hired is beyond me. She's slow, she's constantly in the way, and she can't pull her own weight when it comes to doing other tasks around the store. Sorry for the length of this, I just needed to get it off my chest.