"Okay, porker face -- I mean poker face!  ... uh, let's see [squints eyes] oh god there's drool at the rim of its piehole -- okay:  think Adriana Lima in a red dress instead of this -- thing [looks back down at trough troll] WTF NOOOO! It's staring at my crotch oh god NONONO -- OKAY you got this, mate!  Thinkthinkthink GOT IT: A dozen  naked Gigi Hadid clones slathered in oil fighting over who sucks me off firs-- OH GAAWD IT'S TOUCHING ME NOOOOOO -- okay just think of all those zeros and commas on  the paycheck I'm cashing after this nightmare is over!!!"  [scrolls phone for dealer's phone number] "Christ, gonna kill my fucking agent if I don't kill myself first..."