The mountain troll and the elf [Part 1] I was holding off on making a post, as I didn't think that it would be this bad. Wrong! Hey fellow shitlords and shitladies. First off, I'm not a swolebro. I have twig arms, a chest that is under 32 inch and I'm overall really small (5'3 and 134 lbs, currently losing weight). I'm not the type of guy girls or even younger gay guys go for. I am also Asian. In fact, I'm the only Asian male in my university course (which is in the East Asian studies department). This is not a good thing, as the course has a number of whales with intense yellow fever (some of the humans have a preference for Asians as well, much to my delight). But one of the lard buckets outshines the others in many different ways (to the point that one of my classmates, who is a shitlady in the making, and I refer to it as "uri byeol" which means "our star"). For a quick description: this (presumably female) mountain troll is easily 7 inches taller than me. No neck, flapping jowls, incredibly enough it has a flat but wide behind (always clad in the same ill fitting jeans, which have the horrible habit of sliding down), a pot belly, greasy hair, and a stench so pungent I had to close my nose ever so casually earlier today in close proximity of the beast. I call it the mountain troll, because it moves with the same grace as one. Despite its claims of being an avid practitioner of taekwondo. Since day one, it appeared to have an unhealthy interest in me. Here's a brief summary of (some) incidents that have occurred since: It flipped out when it overheard me talking to our language teacher about a band I liked that it happened to be a huge fan of. When pressed I just made it very clear that I only listen to it at the gym. Something it seemed confused about. It would change its opinions whenever its clashed with mine. A hilarious example of this is it complimenting a (real fox) fur key chain I own and saying "it's okay because its fake." I pointed out that it was real fox fur, and it went off on how its dad owns several real fur items. I then said that I don't eat meat, buy fur, or leather and that the key chain was a gift. It then proceeded to talk about how fur is immoral and what not. Many lols were had. Another incident of changing opinions was regarding a film we watched in a lecture. It was a satirical film that hit uncomfortably close to home for me. To make matters worse, I was stuck between the mountain troll's BFFL who is probably more than 2.5 times my weight (and will have a post dedicated to it as well), who in turn was sitting next to the mountain troll itself. (Had my best friend and shitlady not been by my side I would have died of sheer horror) The beast and its companion would roar with laughter while my friend simply chuckled and I stayed quiet. Then, during the post-film discussion I revealed to related in a way to the subject of the film. It blanched when it realised its "mistake" and had the gall to pass a note to me reading "are you okay?" The creature has no indoor voice or a sense of logic. In one of the lectures on colonialism, the professor asked for examples of real international companies from the colonial era. It decided to start screeching "Max Havelaar! Max Havelaar!," which has since become a meme among all students for this class. This was not my personal experience but rather that of some of my human sized classmates. During break time for a class I couldn't attend, it would "sing" (or rather, yowl off-key) as we were taught that singing stimulates the brain in our academic skills course. It then serenaded one unfortunate girl who happened to be part of a singing group in hopes of being asked to join the group. This is sadly not limited to a single event, but the monstrosity has the habit of "making eyes" at me. As in trying to look sultry, or flirtatious. I try not look it in the eyes, much like Medusa. It also often stares at me with its maw hanging open. Vomit. Today, a lot of things happened involving her, which I will recount in a second post. I'll keep you guys updated. TL;DR: Only Asian male in East Asian studies department is showered in affection by one monstrosity, does not enjoy affection at all. Also, sorry for the title. But it really does look like a mountain troll, and well, in comparison I probably am an elf. Dragon Age style though. Not tall enough for other fantasy worlds. EDIT: Pic as requested by @Phillyshitlord EDIT2: Part 2