lardbeast crotch wedgie at dinner with my wife - which we do about 3 times a year because restaurants are generally filled with dia-beasts. tonight was no exception. picture this in slow motion: as I'm taking a bite of our appetizer I see a really gross pasty-white cottage cheese dimple legs standing up from her feed bag. she has to be about 5'2" but is pushing 275 lbs. As she gets to her feet she then lifts one leg - Sumo style - and I think what-the-fff as she reaches down with both hands into the crotch of her cut off jean shorts - and yanked them out from between her thigh rolls. must have gotten jammed up there during feeding time and she didn't realize it until the eating sensation subsided... and feeling came back to her extremities. she was  right in the middle of the restaurant. fucksake that was nasty. but closest thing to yoga she ever tried. sweet dreams goats.