Pork sausage: gold sequin casing So Madame and I went to a wedding this weekend. Being friends of the couple rather than family, we figured we'd be allocated to a random table. There was some drunk distant relative and her mother, an invisible guest and, sigh, of course, the sequin sausage. Picture it: short, tubby gunt, unwashed long hair, ugly facial piercings, and a tight gold sequin cocktail dress. This seams were working overtime.  During the evening, it kept going outside to smoke, so luckily we didn't see a whole lot of it. When it was at the table, it absolutely stuffed itself. Didn't know the names of really common antipasto foods but snarfed them down all the same (only the meats and cheeses of course, and not the vegetables). It kept making lame attempts to hide the food the wait staff had just put in front of her and saying loudly, "excuse me, I didn't get mine!" It goes without saying that it ate like a pig and made a mess of the tablecloth by dropping food on it. At one point it complained that nobody else at the table was talking to it. We knew it meant us, so we carried right on ignoring it. Once the bridal couple had had their first dance and many of the other couples were on the dancefloor, sequin sausage sat at our table, lonely, nobody to talk to or dance with. It disappeared for the night while I was dancing with the groom. Thankfully we didn't see it at breakfast.