I am sorry you cannot have the children you want, while I am Childfree by choice I can understand for some it is painful to not be able to have children. May I ask, do you know which direction you are going in? You could be CF not by choice and join the community, they are very supportive.   If you ever try surrogacy I hope it all goes well and you get the little one you want. I hope 2016 is a good year for you <3