Lars Tetens: Fat-fucking douchebag extraordinaire Lars Tetens made a name for himself in the late 90s by selling incredibly expensive perfumed cigars.  He scammed lots of idiots and made bank on the cigar fad.  He's a fucking lunatic of massive proportions; check out his webpage for all kind of lulz. Lars Tetens is a man of so many talents he has been dubbed by his admirers as a contemporary Leonardo Da Vinci. People ranging from high-profile celebrities to politicians and presidents of Fortune 500 companies have retained him as there consultant on many varying projects, and are among his abundant admirers.  He's constantly working new scams.  He sells skateboards, overpriced spices and sauces, furniture, chocolate, and horrible, horrible clothes and fashion accessories.  He claims to be a master martial artist and gourmet chef and painter (who has listed his shit for $500,000).  Oh, and he's a great musician too. I know this isn't your typical FPH post, but I suddenly remembered how much I hated this guy and had to google him to see what shenanigans he's been up to.  From the looks of his more recent videos, the only thing he's been up to is about 400 lbs.