Cataloging Fatty Facial Expressions I've been greatly enjoying all the quality FPH posts as of late. I've noticed that there's very little variation among fats, particularly their facial expressions and thought I'd start a catalog since I've never seen one done before. I've listed a few of the most prominent ones here in the hopes it will entertain you fine folks. Update 1: Okay, so folks are asking for pictures. I've started but I have other stuff to take care of so I'll be back later with updates. In the meantime, please enjoy! Update 2: Added some more. It's been a busy day. I'll get to the rest later. Maybe not, it's quite a bit of work and it looks like this post is slowly dying off. Thank you to @NancyAndrew for contributing to the "High on Life." Update 3: Finally completed the post, although I'm not sure if anyone is even still looking. Oh well. I did it for me. 😅 This is a small, impish look the ham puts on, clearly intended to convey humility. This is characterized by scrunched-up features in what is intended to be a bashful expression. In certain variants, the lips may be pursed, but the idea is to make the face as small as possible. Fats are always desperate for attention but some don't want to outright admit it. They enjoy the fact that their presence takes up so much space and attempt to offset it with this expression. Since we instinctively look at faces first when viewing pictures of human-sized humans, fats hope that by making their faces smaller it will counteract the enormity of their frames and lessen the chance that someone might notice they're literal planets. This is also another reason why female hambeasts have such an obsession with makeup and tutorials -- they're trying to draw attention away from their bodies. Arguably the most common facial (fatcial?) expression, images featuring this look are as much a lie to its subject as they are to its viewers. The "I'm Happy" is easily detected by a distinct lack of crinkling at the corners of the eyes (as would naturally occur with a genuine smile). This lack of crinkling is even more noticeable in hams that have significant pudge on and around the cheek areas -- whereas a genuine smile would crinkle the eyes more easily in a normal person, the blubber overlay serves to make this even more difficult through visual occlusion. A dead giveaway for the "I'm Happy" is a lack of visible teeth. In extreme cases, the corners of the mouth will curve downward slightly, but in all cases, the chin will be tensed as a result of the lips being pressed tightly together. When applied to certain deathfats, the effort associated with forcing this expression can even cause them to go slightly cross-eyed. When a fat cannot muster the "I'm Happy" or its derivatives, it will instead opt for The Lusty, in which it attempts to convey sexual value. Images featuring The Lusty are almost never taken straight on -- that is, the subject is always either angling its head upward or downward in an extreme tilt. The exception to this rule involves "portrait" shots, in which the lips will be parted (provided the mouth is not completely agape in a simulated orgasm) with the lower lip slightly protruding. Occasionally the tongue will be partially extended, but never fully (see "The Goof"). Generally speaking, the wider the mouth is in The Lusty, the lower the eyes, although they will rarely be seen fully closed (unless showcasing false eyelashes or heavy eye makeup, although in such cases the chin is angled downward). Virtually exclusive to female hams, The Lusty is generally accompanied by a minimum of 14 visible inches of cleavage and/or "overhanging" (uncovered) FUPA. Most commonly observed in "lifestyle" images featuring exercise equipment and athletic clothing, the "High on Life" is characterized by the ham's attempt to look as if in deep contemplation and/or concentration. Variants may attempt to convey enjoyment of physical activity. Unfortunately, without the visible musculature necessary for such an expression, this usually causes the ham to actually appear vapid or otherwise devoid of thought. The eyebrows will be angled, although the direction will depend on the purported activity in question. In an attempt to simulate an action shot, no eye contact with the camera is made, and in some instances, the object of this expression is to make the subject appear to be pensively focused on something far off in the distance. Lip presentations will vary but generally take on a variant of the "I'm Happy," albeit with less effort as the ham does not need to commit to simulating an expression of happiness. When a fat is actually cognizant of its inability to mimic happiness, thoughtfulness, sexual value or athleticism, it will generally choose The Goof as its mainstay. The Goof is wildly unpredictable from fat to fat, but each fat has one that it relies on most. A loose derivative of the "I'm Happy," The Goof is distinctive in that the subject is not attempting to convince viewers of its happiness. Rather, it is attempting to convince audiences that it's entertaining. The Goof will usually take the form of an exaggerated expression of surprise, although some will stick their tongues out. Note that in many such cases, the tongue is rarely seen "hanging" outside of the mouth (since excess adipose at the jawline usually prevents the tongue from protruding far enough), but rather stuck straight out with the lips wrapped tightly around it.  As is the case with the "I'm Happy," there will be a distinct lack of crinkling around the eyes (a sign of genuine joy), although certain hams will counteract this effect by either opening their eyes as wide as possible or putting on an exaggerated grimace with the tongue slightly retracted but the lips stretched laterally. What are some other good'uns? Please do share! Note: I realize many of the images may can be traumatic, especially this many all at once. After you finish your journey through this post, please enjoy some complimentary eyebleach: