This! I don't get it. And it's like any other "shortcoming" (pun intended) that people face. Say a guy is, for example, shorter than average and believes that's an impediment to getting girls' attention. I've seen shorter men who are impeccably well-dressed next to their taller friends, and they stand out in a very positive way. I also recall having sex with an older man who was a bit on the small side in the pants and knew it, and he wasn't ashamed of it. Why? Because 1) he had money and took care of his appearance, and 2) because he knew how to use what he had. As you say, work on the problems you can fix, i.e. being fat and gross! Accommodating for lack of something in one area by improving in another is a fact of life. Wish hams would realize that rather than insist everyone should love them for the fat, loud slobs they are.