Deathfat poker player As I've mentioned before in previous posts, I'm a pit supervisor at a small casino. Today due to a dealer shortage I had to deal poker for a few hours, which I don't mind because I like dealing poker a lot. Anyways, so this enormous (5'9 prob ~400 pounds) butterhuffer sits down at my table and of course immediately asks for a waitress so he can get a menu and order food. The fat fuck orders a huge helping of spaghetti and meatballs, baked with cheese of course. He also asks the waitress to bring him a side table, which are literally maybe 10 feet away from him. Like, seriously? You can't do that yourself? I've seriously never seen any other player actually ask the waitress to bring a side table over to them. Fats are so fucking lazy and entitled.  So as he's eating, he folds his hand and I notice that the top card has fucking bolognese on it. Wtf. I throw the card back at him and say "really?" and make him clean it off himself, which of course he huffs about cuz I'm interrupting his condishuns but fuck you it's my table. He then asks for the menu again to order massive piece of chocolate pie.  I should preface this with the fact that I live in Canada, so deathfats of his proportion aren't as prevalent here as they are in freedom land. I shit you not, every time he left the table the other players would shitlord him so hard and we'd all laugh our asses off. First it started when this older Asian guy sitting right next to me whispers "can you imagine changing that guy's diaper?" and of course I fucking lost it. As I'm laughing I'm like "Jesus Wayne, I was planning on eating on my break!" Everyone asks what he said, I tell them, and they all burst out laughing. This starts a cascade of shitlording. Someone asks how much he must weigh and I say "at least 3 of me." Then someone says, "I heard he owns a restaurant" and I bait with "I'm surprised it's still in business," and this quiet old guy pipes up and says "why, cuz he probably eats all the profit??" All in all it was a great day.