I farted on someone's FUPA in an elevator by accident. [NSFL] Lets just say I ate hot wings the night before and woke up in the middle of the night with stabbing stomach pains and had to go to the bathroom and suffered from diarrhea. It wore me out so much, I had to see a doctor for this. So went to doc, told to avoid spicy food and consider Preparation H if diarrhea worsens, which I hope not, and got a note to be excused for two days from work. I also have a habit of doing things ahead of time so after obtaining said note, went to my workplace, got in a crowded elevator of fats and got sandwiched between a she-hippo in front of me and another obeast behind me and my ass is on the obeast's FUPA. Oh and lets not forget that eating hot wings make you fart a lot and lets just say I was building up a lot of gas. "Oh shit! Not this again!" I told myself and my stomach cramped up again and I couldn't hold it in anymore. Seconds before the elevator reached to my floor, I also had the urge to sneeze and with a painful stomach with the urge to release the gas, I could only hold it in for so long. And lo and behold, I sneezed and let out the strongest and longest fart ever with a loud "RRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAP" right on the obeast's FUPA behind me and oh god! Its FUPA jiggled on my ass when I farted on it and the obeast held up its gunt and said "Fuck is wrong with you kid?!" and I had to reply with "My stomach hurts!" before bolting to my workplace as it replied "Use the damn bathroom boy! You nasty fuck!". So, had to hand the doc's note to my supervisor and I told her I'd be back Monday because my stomach hurts. And that day, I just went back home, ate clean as usual like I would do at work, and chill. My stomach is a bit tender from those damn hot wings but I learned an important personal lesson from it which I think it should be obvious; don't be tempted to eat hot wings unless you want your asshole to explode with stomach cramps and pains.