caught the hurpling monster at work a few times today Caught the heifer at work (like 5'11" approaching 400lbs) today. She saw some leftover donut holes in the lobby and was stuffing her face with them when I walked out, looked at the donuts, looked at her, and walked on.  Caught her again during lunch. She decided to engage me in conversation while I was also waiting in line. "I just wanna taste it," the behemoth says as she take a portion equal to mine (which I threw out half...too salty).  I assume she stole from our clients twice because she ate her 3 course lunch from home. Before 9am. Again. Can't tell you how many times I've walked into a porkchop-smelling office at 8:45am, guys.  Miss Moo must've gone out for fried chicken as well. She comes hurpling into my area to engage a fellow planet in beetus banter. "I had to take a break for my eyes. You ever get that way after you eat at [place]?" NO YOU CRAZY CUNT THAT ISNT NORMAL.