Long time lurker, have just registered because of your post. I feel really strong compassion towards anyone, who was exposed to abuse in childhood, because I too aswell was raised by abusive controlling narcisstic ham mother and beta (plus alcoholic)father. Thanks to that I decided to be childfree... And many other things. My weight fluctuated from bmi 20 to 26, had serious mental issues etc. What made my change was that i finally realized, I was free from her control and took responsibility for my own life. That all the things she did to me were simply abuse and I'm the only one, who can fight that, being victim forever is bullshit for the weak (fat) ones.. Now I'm at normal weight and live happy life with my partner, though I still hate my mother, and still working on my mental health. Sorry for rant. And sorry for my english, not a native speaker.