Fats dont like humans that can climb a tree. Yesterday my daughter and her friends kicked her favorite ball into a tree and it became trapped in the branches.  Today I went to the school with a ladder and a pole. I climed the ladder and got into the tree. I used the pole to knock the ball down. It took 10 minutes tops. The entire time a whale pod was standing at the base of the tree trying to stop me. I told them repeatedly to call the cops if they didn't like me climbing a tree. The couple of children milling around said that the whales should call the fire department instead. One of the childrens told me not to fall. I told him loudly that I had been climbing trees for like 35 years and I didn't forget how.  Anyways fats gotta fat and climbing a tree is a fucking emergency.