Your post made me sad. I too suffer from mental health issues, although not nearly as severe as you, but also have a long family history of mental health problems. That's awful that you have to be so fearful of the men around you, I am glad to hear that you have a wonderfully caring and understanding partner. I'm so lucky myself to have the most loving and patient man that I could ever dream of having, we are fortunate to have that support system at least :)