Again and again, fattie, you disappoint me so much. This story is really just another example of fats, and how they're so, confusingly, absorbed in their own lives, and are entitled to not just their own "personal space" but everyone's around them. Really, how they're just rude fucking people most of the time. TBQFH.  I went to see Star Wars again on Sunday. The man who sat next to me was fat, very fat. The kind of fat years of butter, red meat, and beer creates. The hard, inexplicably round, balloon lookin' fat. He looked like you could puncture his belly with a small needle and all the years of self-loathing, over processed sugars, and regret will pour out, leaving a deflated, saggy, and empty, non-person.  Luckily for my own self, the aisle separated the closeness we could have easily shared.  This will be quick and painless: (1) Fatass decides to burp. Not a subtle, noise-less burp. A wail. What I could only assume to be the lard-asses' mating call, if you will. This happens, literally, as the beginning story-line, scrolls across the screen. I shoot a glance, but Star Wars, so I was mildly annoyed, but fine.  (2) Usually when you have a crinkly food item you open that shit as quick as possible, so you don't annoy the shit out of people around you. Instead, this titanic jug of mayonnaise decides to struggle with his sno-caps, or cookie dough bits, or sour patch whatevers, for a solid thirty seconds. He didn't look apologetic. He didn't look around, embarrassed. Why? Because fat people don't care about anyone else but themselves. Why? Because he just didn't give a fuck.  (3) Usually when you have a crinkly water bottle you don't attempt to crunch and compress it in the middle of a movie theatre. But oh boy did it, did this fat EVER so delightfully crunch and compressed his water bottle in the middle of the movie. Fat boy wanted his snacks. Understandable. But to purposefully get your recyclables ready to dispose of? That's just rude and poorly-timed.  I'm not a good wild shit-lord because I'm too nice. All I whispered was, "Sir can you please be quiet," pointing to the screen to indicate that we were in fact in a movie theatre and not his house, perhaps reminding him that this was not a personal screening. He just rolled his eyes and pretended not to hear me.  It's like fats constantly over-compensate for their imposing size by making it seem like they don't hear, see, or know that anyone else is anywhere near them. It's disgusting, selfish, and a perfect way to examine how they got themselves to their sad point in life.  TL;DR: Stupid fucking fatties.