Why was I not Surprised. Just a rant here.  So I got advanced screening tickets to see 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them' the other day (which was awesome) but so did a whole lot of other people... Me and my buddy got there just in time to start filling up the second theater so we watched one by one the people come in, and holy shit. Fats, fats everywhere! They came in with giant bags of popcorn, huge liters of soda, pizzas, burgers, hot dogs, nachos, fucking every type of junk food under the sun (the theater has all sorts of foods you can want, sort of like a food court). The movie tickets were given away so I guess the mentality here was, the movie was free, we have lots more to spend on food! Even though a large popcorn and drink was like $20. The few people that weren't fat had nothing, like me and my friend. Shocker.  Now I hadn't been to a movie in a while but I wasn't expecting things to be this bad, this is Vancouver after all, where there is a semblance of hope for fitness around, thanks to a high asian population and yoga moms, and hikers. But this theater had none of those. This looked more like something you would see in Abbotsford or Surrey or something.  So the fats surrounded us. To my left, to our right, above and behind us. The smells of food and sweat, the crinkling of wrappers, the chewing, the lip smacking, the sounds of 'mmmmmmmmm' were coming from all directions. People coughing, sneezing, blowing their noses (cold season I guess, fats have weak immune systems, right?). True surround sound. I had never seen so many people get up during a movie to get more food, and I can only imagine go to take a crap or two. Me and my friend huddled together to avoid the people next to us, clinging for dear life. Plus, it was so HOT in the theater, like a sauna, I couldn't breathe. Now I'm usually always freaking cold no matter where I am but it was like a hot oven in there. Was that because of the fats? Probably, I'm sure there is some scientific reason for it.  Now, the true part that truly pissed me off. I worked in fast food for a while in my younger years and I get irrationally angry at people who DO NOT CLEAN UP AFTER THEMSELVES. Like holy shit guys! It was a disaster! I am amazed at just how many pro eaters couldn't get all their food in their mouths! Every cup holder had a cup left in it. Bags of popcorn and spilled pop (soda for you 'mericans) littered everywhere and I mean like a blanket on the floor, you couldn't take one step without hearing crunch crunch crunch crunch. Empty M&M bags, McDonalds (must have snuck that in), mustard stains on the seats, garbage in every goddamn seat. And what was sad was that I didn't even really see any kids, maybe one or two. These are FUCKING ADULTS.  I know many people have the attitude that "People get paid to clean this", but the reality is that you are not giving them a job to do, you are making their job a thousand times harder. It must take a long ass time to clean this up, could you imagine the stress the poor minimum wage people have knowing they have to clean this all up in a short amount of time before the next movie plays? Like how hard is it to take your empty cup with you when you leave!?!?! I'm sorry guys this just pisses me off to no end!  I weep for humanity. I feel like the Indian on the side of the road with a tear down his face, and on a grander scale this is what fats are doing to our planet. I don't know if I ever want to see a movie again. Thanks for ruining something else you fat fucking freaking fuckity fucks, I hate all of you and may the Beetus take you and your souls to the holy depths of hell where they tie you up and you starve for all of eternity. Wheymen.  Thanks for reading my fellow shitlords, I guess I found myself some Non Fantastic Beasts.