Fat People at the Water Park For starters, I wish I took pictures because some of these fatties looked hilarious but phones and water do not mix too well so I did not have it on me. So the other day I went to the water park with my gf and I was shocked at what I saw. There were Hamplanets that make the pictures of cows posted on FPH look like dwarf planets and fat rolls spilling out of swimsuits that were the size of tents. So I did what any of us would have done on here. I pointed at them and laughed at them with my gf.  The thing that really ticked me off (but ended up being a good thing) is this. Where do all the fatties go when at a water park? Well to the lazy river of course! I got in the lazy river before all the planets gravitated to it. It was fast, kids were having races and pushing each other around in innertubes and having an overall fun time. As soon as the whales enter though, everything slows down. Pod after pod of whales enter and because they are so physically fat and large, they have more drag causing them to be slow. The cow herds end up clogging the river and so all the children and thin adults leave the lazy river to go elsewhere. As I am getting out and throwing my innertube where it is supposed to go, this 300 lb she beast who is too lazy to pay attention to where she is going or move slams into the back of me and ends up pinning me against the concrete river wall for like 4 seconds. I try my best to push her out of the way but she is just too big. Eventually the current takes her. I am just lucky she was in an innertube that acted like a crumple zone because that hurt. Without it, I could have easily had a broken rib the way she hit me. As soon as I got out, I realized what a good thing it was that these things all went into the lazy river. Now that they are all floating around in the river, they are practically no where else in the park. There were so many whales in the river that there were literally no more innertubes. They were all gone and some whales were still wanting to get in. They probably would not have needed innertubes though. I hear fat floats just fine. The one fat thing I was "nice" too was this 300-400lb man on the jumping platform. At this water park, there is a 15ft tower that people can jump off of into a 12ft deep pool and this giant cow was at the top. I get up there and he is nervous of jumping. It just turned to adult swim time so there are children up there all wanting to see this thing hit the water(because fatties make the most ridiculous cannon balls). The lifeguard and all the other thin people and I up there are being "encouraging" and "nice" to get this thing to jump. I told the guy I would jump first to show him how simple it is. I run, jump swim to the side and wait for him to jump. Sadly he does not jump. I really wanted to see how much water this guy would have displaced. That just shows how little will power tubbys like this have. There were little girls who were barely up to my knee cap who were jumping but this thing chickened out. tl dr; Fatties clog up lazy river at waterpark causing the lazy river to  be a fat fest but the rest of the park a thin delight. I also almost got a ham planet to jump off of a 15ft tower into water