Account Deleted By User Hello FPH. It's been a while. I'm back reminiscing about a younger me and predictably became enraged.  I remember learning very quickly that tattooing fat people will always be harder, if not impossible. And for some reasons those same people never looked after their tattoos. I mean, I get it, if the canvas is made of Vaseline, who the fuck cares what goes on it or how it's looked after. But one particular story showed me just how little of a fuck they care about anything.  Including their health. I don't know if this constitutes as a 'story' but one of the most fucked up things happened when I was just starting tattooing.  [cue harp playing while blurring to the year 2000] It was the year 2000. The Y2K scare just happened and the Millenium Dome had just been built and as if I didn't need even more reasons to lose faith in humanity a fuckin' ham would attempt to do the same. I remember it like it was yesterday (because it gave me PTSD). I was young, ambitious. And naive.  Very naive.  See when I was younger and started tattooing I thought it was the coolest job in the world. Drawing all day, creating awesome artwork, making people ecstatic with something that'll stay with them for the rest of their lives.  Sounds great right? But just like Reddit and tumblr, fats had to go ruin that too. So this mid 30s hamplanet come waddling into the shop I worked in, dressed in board shorts and a Vans t shirt (which ironically looked like a tarpaulin for a van, could have been, didn't ask), and asks me for a candy skull above it's left hoof on the calf (teehee).  So it pulls up its shorts to make room and I see the smashed cartilage plastered with adipose that at some point used to be knees and subconsciously shake my head. The skin everywhere was not just red and unhealthy, but covered in sores from lack of oxygen to the skin. It felt like I'd witnessed a war crime. The area he wants it on however is as close to healthy as a ham hock can get. So I start tattooing and the guy is moving around like a mechanical bull and won't stop shouting. When it's done I wrap it and give him a slip with clearly labelled instructions on how to look after a tattoo. Not in Zulu or Swahili. But in English, which he had attempted to use to communicate with me while I inked him, though only to ask me where the best place to get Chinese is. Bitch are you retarded it's 11 in the morning. Dammit guys I'm getting pissed remembering all this now. The worst part was not branding him.  Oh no.  The worst part was the healing. See tattoos are wounds. Keep them clean and wash them when needed and change the dressing. Sounds simple right? Simple is relative I suppose. Putting on jeans is simple to most people. But for hams it's not simple at all. Oh no, they need to campaign for jeans that could fit a small elephant and parade in the street against weight bias. How about taking a flight? Simple right? But for hams it's a goddamn global struggle. Harder for them even, than waiting for a Dominos to arrive.  So what do you think happened when he called after a week, saying he wanted to come back to the shop? I shit you not, he had not changed the dressing a single time. That's right, in a week period he hadn't washed it at all, nor took off the clingfilm a single time. The original masking tape was even there though almost entirely peeled off, and underneath was a charcoaled mass of dried skin and blood. The smell was worse since he hadn't washed in a single week. In fucking June.  I was almost sick. He 'hadn't realised' you were supposed to wash it, and hadn't done so in two weeks while working every day. Up until that point I suppose I 'hadn't realised' hams could be quite so moronic and lacking in basic hygiene. But I guess you learn something new every day right?  Just as a side note here - the materials I use are all sterile in every establishment I've worked in and customer safety is paramount to myself and anyone tattooing someone else. Just.  Look after them ok? Thanks if you stuck it out this far guys. This was an edited comment I just posted in another thread but I've been away a while and thought it needed its own post.  HP1 TL;DR Gave ham a tattoo. It came back with an infection and more squeals than a Tyson Foods factory. 