Triggered a ham at a friend's celebration There were 5 of us and all of us were thin except for 1, class 2 morbid obeast. We were at my friend's place and waiting to leave for the restaurant which was 650m away. We were discussing whether to walk or drive to the place and I will give you 2 guesses as to why we were discussing that at all -_- . The ham was trying to be funny and quirky about it talking about how it usually drives shorter distances than that, but clearly trying to get everyone to agree to drive.  When the time came to leave, we had to actually decide how to get there. I got all serious (if you can imagine) and said, "No, I'm not driving 650m. I would hate myself." I managed to get 2 of the other thin people to walk with me with the last driving with the hamplanet because he was its gunt wrangler. It seems I picked good friends. The dinner was mostly little stuff. I discussed the obesity epidemic, I criticised someone's deep-fried cheese as being such a fat thing to eat (food hate, I know, but for a good cause), I made a joke about how American fashion is "just fat," and when the blob behind us stood up and caused our whole table to shake, I blurted out, "WTF, people are so heavy." For reasons that should be a surprise to no one, fatty decided not to come back with us after dinner and went directly home from the restaurant, dragging its handler with it (good riddance to a ham enabler). This was good, partly because fuck fats, but also because I had baked special, layered lamingtons for the occasion. I didn't want to share my efforts with a pig, not to mention it has had enough cake. I call that a success.