Dinosaur ham nearly ruined our training exercise. So here I go everybody. I'm currently in the reserves(think national guard). One of the few guys in my unit that has completed my DP2, Para, urban warfare, etc etc. We are formed up into our own sub group of gunfighter culture that is surprisingly rare in the reserves. Half of our unit consists of part time clerks, part time officers, and band members who have no clue about infantry. They know military. More specifically they've mastered gaming the military. One particular fucking dinosaur impedes my groups operations and never ever fucking gets what we do because he was too pussy to complete any courses. Licking assholes and band duty is this dinosaurs specialty. As is stuffing his face.  So here's my group. We've organized our own 3 day EX. Only hold up was sourcing a mess. Our 2nd LT(not the dinosaur) couldn't source any IMPs(think MRE) for some reason. Ended up ordering 6 cases of civilian MREs that are on a conditional review. So we got a sweet deal on these and enough for everyone to have 2 meals each for 3 days. They ended up shipped to our unit but our 2ND LT looses his shit because they're nowhere to be found. Were at our parade prepping for our EX and there's no food. I'm guessing you know where this is going. 2ND LT finds them in the dinosaurs office. One case ripped open with half a case missing hiding behind a filing cabinet in a storage closet. Dinosaur comes in yelling and screaming at us to put them back. Like what the fuck? They had the 2ND LTs name on them. Dinosaur thought they were for his stupid fucking cadets. Yet decided to stash 6 in his car. Dinosaur gets caught with his pants down and finally concedes to return the other 4. Yes. The fucking dinosaur went John Goodman on 2 1200 calorie MREs in the 4 hours in between UPS delivery and parade. Then tried to steal 4 while stashing the rest in his storage closet. Like do these fat fucking pigs have any decency? Do they have to steal rations intended for their supposed brothers in arms? Worse yet it wasn't even government property. It was our junior NCO trying to be a good guy ensuring we had mess for our EX. Fucking hams have no respect for anything.