Hamplanets in the hallway. So I'm a high school senior, and my school is under renovation. Because of this, the main hallway is closed and there is only one way from one end of the school to the other. Said way is partially blocked by construction, and is about wide enough for 3 normal humans to walk in a line. And there are lockers in this hallway, because go fuck yourself that's why. So it essentially becomes single lane traffic each way with people at their lockers. Now, I am not a small guy. I'm 6'4, pushing 170 pounds, with decently wide shoulders and whatnot. I like to think I have decent control over my bodyweight, too. On to the tale of woe. A few days ago, I was traversing this shitshow of a hall to my first class, when I sighted it. I could see the bright coloured, oil-on-water streaks of a tumblrina headed towards me. Seconds later it breached into full view. Hammy was 5'6 or so, and fucking round. So round it was bumping into people at lockers AND oncoming traffic at the same time. I wish I was kidding. A voice in my head screams "brace for impact!" And I tense up a bit for the hit. At the last possible second, to avoid being slammed into a wall, I push hard to try and shoulder check fatty and avoid hitting the wall. No fuckin dice. I bounce clean off. Remember how I said half the hall was blocked by construction? Well, there are two doors into said construction in this hall. I happened to be in front of one of them, and suddenly found myself stumbling into the construction area, with several burly men staring at me like I had just stepped out of a fuckin spaceship. I must have had some whiplash, because I was too stunned to think of a witty one liner before sheepishly making an exit. I have no idea what I was thinking, trying to use bodyweight against a fatty. They slam people into walls all the time - I've been late for class three times because someone decided to kick a fatties ass. Fuck these stupid pigs, they shouldn't be allowed on school grounds.