Fatty bike repair fuck all.... Story time, Prologue, I am called as a favor for a friend, to do a bicycle repair at his Seattleite sister's rental. Her room mate has had a problem with a loose pedal, and the stem no longer staying seated in the crank arm. Show up to find it has green hair in cyber goth dreadlocks, covered in crap tattoos, and looks like it fell down the stairs carrying a fishing tackle box with all the piercings it has. On top of that, it is wearing combat boots, with fishnets, and a tutu that is fighting for it's life as it is drawn and quartered by her roundness.  Me: 'Alright, well what I can do is since these are solid aluminum cranks, is retap, install a helicoil repair, and then put the pedal back on that way. But once I do that, that pedal is never coming off, so if the stem on it snaps, your getting new cranks and pedals.' Tub-a-suarus: 'No, no, no. It will just break again, because they are defective, these crank things.' Me: 'Ma'am, I can't say for sure why the male end of these pedals..' The Thing: 'Male end? Male end? Oh that is clever. Because it sticks in something, it has to have a phallic reference?' Me: 'Yes.' Fatti-pocolypse: 'Yes what?' Me: 'Yes, in answer to your question, it is called the male end because like a penis it sticks into the female end, which like a vagina, is an opening for it.' Fatty: 'Wha, why, what the fuck are you talking to me about this.' Me: 'You asked Ma'am.... Now about that thread repair. The crank actually was fine I think. Just the pedal may have been loose or too tight which...' FuckingFatty: 'You don't know what you are talking about. How can it be either too loose or too tight, and cause this to break? That makes no sense.' Me: 'Ma'am, with the pedals self tightening action if it was to tight it would have stripped the female threads. If too loose, the male threads would have pulled out on them, to the same end.' Hippo: 'Bullshit, you are trying to say metal, from me pedaling, was torn up like this?' Me: 'Well, there are several factors involved, such as distance gone a day, were the pedal threads greased, in straight to begin with, how much force do you pedal with, do you mostly pedal standing, and your weight...' StayPuffMarshmellow: 'No, no, no, absolutely not. I already had to deal with your sexual innuendos, I will not deal with you now attacking my body and self confidence, saying this is my fault...' Me: 'No, not at all Ma'am, let's just say gravity has it out for you.... So...' .... It was here that she just waved me off, and went up to her apartment with my friends sister coming down to bitch at me for being a shitlord. Leaving without being paid for my time, I get called by my friend. Me: 'Dude, why did you send me to work on her bike?' Asshole friend: Laughing as he near drops his phone 'Because, you never disappoint you magnificent autist shitlord. I heard from my sister what you did, and she is so pissed with me, because she knows I sent you there because I hate that fat bitch. She was already on the phone with me when you showed up, because she could see where it was gonna go.' Me: 'Wait, you had me waste time on my day off to just go piss of your sister, and her roommate?' El Douche: 'Dude, for the laughs I got out of this, you have to understand. What do you charge an hour?' Me: 'Flat rate of $50.00 an hour for labor...' Dipshit: 'FOR FIXING FUCKING BIKES?!?! Are they able to fly when you are done with them? Jesus fucking Christ, alright will get you for two hours. We square?' Me: 'Yes, now go fuck yourself. See you at the ride on tuesday. Bye.' Dickhead: 'Never change you.'