The literally cannot identify basic vegetables I was sitting at my desk enjoying my snack of iceberg lettuce and chicken salad when this thing that appeared to be coming at me like that boulder from Indiana Jones rolled up and said, I kid you not...'snort ewww are you eating seaweed?? wheeze' No, I tell it.  Just run of the mill lettuce.  Really?  It thinks because it's green it must be seaweed?  I guess it's never opened up it's hamburger bun before it shoved it in it's gullet?