My boyfriend got a ham for a roommate. Help! My boyfriend is a fit 21 year old college student who lives off campus in a four bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment. Last year he had three slim roommates who weren’t shitlords but certainly not fat. The one he shared a bathroom with was a chill and intelligent guy who was clean and worked out with my boyfriend at least twice a week. However, he got accepted into a study abroad program last minute, which meant my boyfriend got a randomly assigned roommate from the apartment complex, also last minute. This would normally be whatever because my boyfriend and his current roommates are easy to get along with. One is boring as hell and just sits in his room and the other is really active on campus and is hardly ever there. My boyfriend and I take turns staying at each others’ apartments. Like he will stay at mine 2-3 days and I will stay his place 2-3 days, normally every other day or something like that. My roommate doesn’t care because her boyfriend is over all the time and his roommates didn’t care because I clean and cook really nice and healthy meals for them. But now I feel like my boyfriend is going to have to basically move in with me after seeing the atrocity that he has been placed with. And forget cooking meals for his roommates anymore! There is no way I am contributing to a fat. We were just out of town and came back to his apartment to both change before going to work, not realizing his new roommate was scheduled to be moving in. Ugh I cannot express how upset my boyfriend and I were to walk in and find none other than a calorie troll standing in his kitchen bitching that he didn’t have enough room to store his poptarts. That was literally the first thing I heard when we walked in. His new ham-mate is about 6’7. So please tell me how something that tall can get this large when they can already consume significantly more calories at that height? I mean this dude is about 380-425 lbs I’m guessing. It was hard to tell because I couldn’t stand to look at him. My boyfriend and his roommates were really considerate and left four huge cabinets empty in the kitchen for this butter golem and he managed to fill all four with food and was complaining he had nowhere to put his poptarts or chips.  For comparison, my boyfriend takes up two single cabinets, not the double kind. One contains all his dry goods and the other contains his dishes. But this hog needed all four just for food. And he still couldn’t fit all his crap so he put it on top of the fridge for the whole world to see! He had THREE family size bags of potato chips and a family size bag of Doritos on top of the fridge just for him! WHO NEEDS FOUR FAMILY SIZE BAGS OF CHIPS FOR ONE PERSON??? WHAT THE FUCK??? My boyfriend didn’t even introduce himself, we just went into his room and locked the door as he looked at me in terror and was like “Can I request a roommate change?” From outside the door I heard this guy’s parents saying stuff like “Oooh your new roomie has a girlfriend! Maybe she can hook you up with some dates!”  No way in hell would I subject anyone I know or associate with to that. This was followed up with “I don’t have room for my soda! There’s too much healthy stuff in here.” When we looked in the fridge later to gawk at it, we found that the hammie had removed my boyfriend’s fresh produce from the vegetable crisper drawer and stuffed as many cans of soda as he could fit in it. What the fuck?  My boyfriend has to share a bathroom with this beast. Need help asap. How can we shitlord to the greatest degree?