Dear Fat Patients, your nurses hate you. [a rant] Bear with me, I just finished my 3rd 12 hour shift in a row (well, technically 13 hours by the time I was able to clock out) and my back is fucking sore. I am 27 years old and at this rate will probably end up on disability before I even turn 40. The "state of the art" public medical center I work for is too poor to put ceiling lifts in every patient room (probably because they're losing so much money keeping these fat asses with shitty Medicaid if they even have insurance alive) so when you have three "bariatric" (that's medical talk for HUGE FAT FUCK) patients in a 12 bed unit and only one room with a ceiling lift, guess who gets fucked over. The nurses, and every other patient on the unit, because it takes all 4 nurses and one nurse's aid just to turn your yeasty lymphedema ass to wipe it. Someone could be having a medical emergency and no one would know because we're all in your room trying to clean the shit stains off your scrotum. Not to mention the entire unit can smell you. It's the sick, sour smell of the yeast infections in your folds. And then you shit and piss yourself because you haven't been able to roll over let alone find your own dick in years.  Your personality is just as ugly as your appearance. Rude, demanding, selfish, lazy. Complain that we're starving you even if you had 2 lunch trays plus vending machine snacks as I desperately pump you full of insulin to combat your lethally high blood sugar. Even if you normally live independently at home, you want me to help you wipe your ass and tuck you in your blankets like an overgrown toddler. Fuck you. I can't say "wipe it yourself" without being disciplined for low patient satisfaction scores. And as much as I would like to let you lay in your own shit without cleaning it myself, I can't because the hospital isn't reimbursed for the tens of thousands of dollars it costs to treat a hospital-associated pressure ulcer.  We tried using a mobile lift that supposedly had a weight limit of 380 pounds on a 360 pound obeast who was as wide as we was tall, but the whole contraption started to buckle. The only petty revenge I can get is to hum the theme to "Free Willy" as I imagined returning it to the ocean.