"I just imagine him on me, breathing hard and looking out of shape and it grosses me out...I was on top, like I always am because you can't fucken move anymore." /r/DeadBedrooms OP has a dead bedroom thanks to her husband going from fit and low-BF% to fat and neckbearded. It's my birthday and I think he's going to try to have sex with me And honestly I wish he just wouldn't. I was a HL when I was pregnant. I got rejected soooo many times by my LL husband. Now baby is out and I honestly just dont see him like that. I feel kind of bad because I've been there. It sucks. But I just imagine him on me, breathing hard and looking out of shape and it grosses me out. I know I'm horrible but damn I dont even have his face to look at during sex. He grew his hair out long and never ever cleans up his beard. He's gained so much weight while I was pregnant. Last time we had sex it felt good to orgasm but he just wanted to talk about it the next day like it was some sort of amazing session. Yeah sure buddy. I was on top, like I always am because you cant fucken move anymore.  I know this post is hostile. I'm angry. I crave a good sex life. But after rejection for so long I honestly lost attraction to him. I see his naked body and it doesnt do anything for me. He used to be so muscular. He used to trim. Now I find myself browsing subreddits of guys with nice bodies. My husband is never in my fantasies when I masturbate now. And honestly it doesn't bother me at all if he masturbates and takes care of it without me. Some thing that used to make me cry when I was pregnant.  Money shot for the "your preferences are socially constructed, you bigot!" crowd: I'm not doing this on purpose. I cant help feeling this way. Just venting here.