Hams at Gym Tots - WHY AM I DOING YOUR FUCKING JOB FOR YOU?! I just took my son to his first toddlers gymnastics session. I used to love gymnastics when I was a kid, it's like the funnest sport. It's basically just playing and jumping off stuff into a big squishy pile of foam. Love it. I started too old to get any benefit but my little brother started at about age 4 so I was really keen to get the boy started early, get that physical courage fired up young, build a strong muscle base early, all the good stuff. So there are about 8 kids in the group (because of the age of the kids and the ratio of instructors they need at that age) and each one is accompanied by a parent or guardian. There is me, some human mums, and two sets of grandparents who are so fucking fat they can't even follow a toddler around the world's most basic apparatus. You have to basically join in with your kid- help them to jump and roll and whatever because that's how they learn to do that. I'm helping my boy jump into the foam pit and I notice one of the kids of the planets begin to follow us round. Everything I'm helping my little shitperson to do he wants to do too. He wants to hold my hand and jump into the foam, he wants me to roll him down a big squishy ramp... wonder why? Could it possibly be because your piece of shit grandmayo is barely capable of doing anything other than sitting at the side propped up against some gym mats? It's not the kid's fault- he wants to jump and be active so I jump with him a few times but he seriously just wants to hang with me and my kid and not be anywhere near the disgusting planets who brung him.  Despite me saying "oh no, it's ok, I don't mind" in the most sweet singsongy fashion I could manage the grandmayo still was yelling "come away from that boy!" at her kid. Like fitness is catching or something. Fucking hell. It is my avowed intention to shitlord as much as I can by having my little dude doing flips and somersaults before he moves to the pre-BAGA class, and I'm going to trigger the crap out of them by leaping round that gym with him!