I Was Arrested for Calling the Bouncer a Fat Fuck At least that's how I remember it.  I was overly intoxicated and asked to leave, which I did.  Once I was safely outside on public property, In the douchiest way imaginable, I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "Go fuck yourself, ya fat fuck!"  He looked pretty hurt and was like, "oh yeah."  then he got an evil smirk on his face, then he tackled me and pinned me there.  I struggled, his fat bouncer buddies joined in.  Eventually the cops came and I made them throw me in that car I wasn't going in voluntarily. When they finally got around to telling me why I was there, it was because that fat fuck of a bouncer accused me of battery.  We will see, ya fat fuck, we...will...see.   The bar has security footage from out front and my lawyer is working on getting our hands on that. Being drunk has crimes associated with it, but that's not what I am charged with.  Being mean is not a crime, at least not yet.