Turns out I can get a rock-hard erection from this type of rolls... ...And I would gladly insert myself into that body. If I could afford one and a fatty took so much as an admiring glance, I'd have to pick out their beady little recessed eyes for the blasphemy. Instead, I've got a shitty little car that is about 70% duct tape and paracord by mass.  It loses half its value when I take out my textbooks for class and has been around since 28.8k dial-up was state of the art.