Rotund Roommates (pt. 2 - it gets worse) If you read part 1, you already know that I had found myself living with two Hams. Well, things got worse. A few weeks after I moved in the fourth and final room in the house got rented out. I was there when this blubbering behemoth moved in, and I was shell-shocked by what I saw. This girl must have been in her mid-twenties, but looked to be in her forties. She was about 5'4" and easily 500 lbs. A pasty, jiggling glob. We'll call her Extra Ham. Extra Ham wedged her girth through the door frame and staggered to the couch while her family/friends were left to the physical labor of carting her things into the house. Once she caught her breath enough to speak she called over to one of the people moving her in saying that she needed a snack. Extra Ham must have seen my face when she said this because she quickly added "I have hypoglycemia, and I usually forget to eat teehee so I have to remind myself to have snacks so muh sugars don't get low." At that point one of her enablers returned with chocolate pudding which she promptly inhaled.  I soon found out that Extra Ham neither worked nor went to school. I didn't even bother to listen to her excuse for this one. She loafed around the house all day, watching movies and moving as little as possible. Extra Ham always had a faint musty/moldy odor, and come to think of it I don't think I ever recall her using any of the showers in the house, so she probably wasn't bathing regularly. Because she didn't work she was gobbling up all the government and non-profit benefits she could get her sausage fingers on. I once saw a poor, kind-hearted man who had obviously drawn the short straw at work helping haul groceries from the food bank into the house for her. She wouldn't even move to get the free money and food being thrown at her, she was that lazy.  Not only was Extra Ham the biggest of the Hams, she also had something else that the other Hams in the house didn't: a boyfriend. I would have thought this was a figment of her imagination, but I actually met the unfortunate fellow. He looked about 14 years old, 5'3" at best and 100 lbs soaking wet. She later broke up with him and informed us that she had done so because he was physically abusive towards her. I really don't want to be skeptical towards claims of abuse or downplay it because I know it's a serious thing and can happened to anyone, but I seriously struggled to understand how on earth the scrawny, timid nerd I'd met could muster the strength necessary to physically abuse a whale. Maybe he had an extra large harpoon, I don't know.  Apparently, after the break up, she became bored or something because she began venturing out of her room more often. She once caught me at the door as I was heading out for a walk and asked to come with me. I should have known better, but I was young. We slowly made it to the end of the block, and here is where the fun begins. We lived in a mountainous part of the country and our house in particular was located in what was known to locals as "the bowl" because it was the lowest part of the valley. From our house, there was a gradual incline up to main street and then a steeper hill leading up towards campus (two of the three universities I attended were total shitlords - located on high hills with minimal on-site parking which meant LOTS of stairs). I had made it half way up the very short and gradual incline when I suddenly realized that Extra Ham was nowhere to be seen. I looked back and she was huffing and wheezing at the bottom. I suggested we go home. She said she wanted to try walking up the hill. It was a painful sight. She slowly managed to lumber a few steps up the "hill" moaning, shrieking and gasping loudly with each step. "I did it!" she exclaimed once she could go no further. She was sweating bullets; it was late Fall. I quickly walked her back home, thankful I hadn't had to witness or be part of any medical emergency. I then left to take my walk thinking how Extra Ham  would literally not be able to leave our neighborhood without motorized assistance; she was trapped in "the bowl." TL;DR rotund roommate resembles Kendra from The Cleveland Show, has "cundishuns", an abusive boyfriend and an aversion to showers. Once tried to walk up a hill with me.