I remember being at 29 stumps at the e-club as a young Marine. The fattest ugliest hippo you can imagine was on the dance floor. As I skipped my drink from the bar, I watched in amazement as she lured guys in. I don't know if it was a gravitational pull or maybe chloroform perfume, but that night I realized that a land whale can always get action in the eclub.  I ended up going back to the barracks alone and waking up with food poisoning from the taco bell. Probably a better ending than the Marine who took her home.