A fat at the bakery (Big surprise, right?) So yesterday my boyfriend and I wanted a treat after dinner, so we went to a bakery to buy something sweet. My eyes got drawn to this MEGA white chocolate crumble brownie. It. was. huge. (It still is, because 3/4 of it is still in my fridge). My boyfriend decides to have the same as me, but without the white chocolate. Because there was nobody behind the counter at this point, I shout "Hello?" and wait for someone to help us out. Cue fat baker formerly known as a female human waddles in. This situation is way too perfect for me not to shitlord. It is practically handed to me on a gold platter.  Baker:Can I help you?  Me:Yes we would like one of the white chocolate brownie, and one plain brownie, please.  The fat fuck starts to prep our order, making the box and all, realizes that the white chocolate brownie is slightly bigger than the plain one.  Baker: (to my boyfriend) Yours is smaller. You should pick a different flavor so you can have a bigger one.  Boyfriend: No, I'm good  Baker: Really? Come on I can't let you go with a small piece like this!  Boyfriend: I just want the plain, I won't eat it all anyway. It was almost like he insulted it. It could not believe that someone wouldn't eat ALL of the brownie. After a moment of silence, fatty went on:     Baker: It's so hard to diet when you work here!!  Me: It sure does take self control and discipline  Baker: And I'm going to vacation in the Caribbean with a bunch of my friends, all skinny girls. They're all a freakin size 2!  Me: Why don't you come to the gym across the street, I work there (fats are basically easy money for me hehe)  Baker: Oh I have a gym card, but I can't go! I don't have the time to workout. I have two jobs, and i go once a week to clean my parents' house. You know, I'm 49 years old, I get tired quickly teehee (yeah no shit, but it's not because of your age, you stack of lard)  By this time, we were about to pay, with our items all packed up, so I went for the home run  Me: You sure do find the time to indulge in all the bake goods you sell! It might be time to switch hobby haha! All right have a good night!  You know that feeling you sometimes get when you are at the right place, at the right time, and you do exactly what was expected from you? Like there should be no other outcomes... Well that's exactly what I felt. It felt good to do good for the shitlording community.