I am so very sorry for your loss, ForestsAndTrees. From the few things I've seen you mention here, she seemed like a truly lovely lady and wonderful person. I'm sure others would agree that we all regret that she's unable to join us here--we have all lost out in not being able to know her, but of course that is a shadow of what you must be dealing with. My mother lost her husband a few years ago; he'd been sick for a long time. Everyone thought he wouldn't come home from his first hospitalization. He did, though, and later he told my mom that as he coded, he suddenly felt really warm and peaceful and happy. He said he heard voices saying, "Come on, [Name], it's okay. It'll be okay...We're all here," and he was pretty sure one of them was his dad. He told them no, he couldn't leave my mom, and the next thing he knew he woke up. I think of that story every once in a while, and I like to think it means there truly is a place where we go and those we loved wait for us there, and we'll see them again. I don't know if that helps...but I hope it does. Big hugs to you.