"Pay the nom tax!" I'm doing site visits right now as we gear up to a larger experimental population and clinical trials, which means I'm spending time away from my home base, and in hospitals run by people who aren't shitlords.  That means encountering fats.  Today I met a femayo lardbison who really takes the cake (literally)! I've packed my lunch as I can't rely on places I visit to have healthy options available, and made a nice low carb wrap to fit into my dietary plans and restrictions.  After a morning on my feet going through presentations to IRB and the attendings in the department, I grab my brown bag lunch and head off to one of the break areas to eat.  I have to pass by the nurse's station on the way and, surprise, surprise, a lot of them are fats (how for fuck's sake a health care professional can be a fat is beyond me). One of them is a roughly 350-400lb obeast, standing at only 5'5" or so tall, as I walk by the station it gives me this imitation of a smile on its fleshy, doughy, misshapen imitation of a face and says in a saccharine sing-songy way "You have to pay the nom tax!" I stopped and looked at it in confusion, it grinned and said, again in that disgusting sing-songy voice "If you have a treat, you have to share it with the sweet!" I told it that first off I didn't know it, and second, this was my lunch, not some snack. It fakes a frown and says, "Someone is grumpy!  Everyone shares their food with me, it's the rule!" I gave it a disgusted scowl and said "No" and left, it called after me "I'm going to report you to the nom police!" again in that disgusting sing-songy way. I am just flabbergasted.  I did not know this bitch, I had never met it, I wasn't working with it... and it feels entitled to my fucking lunch?  What the fuck is wrong with these beasts? TL;DR: A retarded cow tried to steal my food.