Tubby Travel #1 My frequent travel of late offers up ever more amazing tales of beastly behaviour that I plan to share in a series of Tubby Travel tales: Today - Hotel - Breakfast. I'm giving myself a hard time for not using the excellent gym facilities and serving penance by eating all bran and sunflower seeds (Which actually I enjoy, just don't tell my inner punishment angel) when along comes/waddles/pounds breakfast beast. She is huge, like 180kg's huge and quite short, like a ball....of shit. Oh, she has a bowl, maybe some fruit with natural yoghurt I hear you ask....or some light cereal or or or...For fuck sake - its a bowl of bacon and beans...not a small bowl, but a big old bowl filled with streaky bacon and covered in beans. The horror. I later saw this calorie commando getting into a taxi...when I say getting into I mean being wedged into with great difficulty.....can you imagine the farts? Today - Office - Elevator A slightly smaller beast maybe 120kgs and a lovely looking young lady get into the elevator - I check the weight limit without even thinking - she is talking about her holiday plans with Jim. Apparently he wants to climb Kilimanjaro. Her friend (potentially a shitlady) says - wow that's not a stroll in the park and their are not starbucks along the way to which Sherpa Beetus replies, I'll be fine I have been using the step machine and treadmill at the gym and I still have 4 weeks to prepare....I just managed to get out of the elevator before pissing my sides......I'll be keeping an eye on the news for her demise. More to come.....