Some subtle shitlording I do at the gym, hopefully you all get some chuckles. So I work the nightshift in the Air Force, I'm always in the gym about the time the 0730-1600 peeps are going home, so of course it's a little busy in the gym sometimes.  One thing I like to do is go weigh myself before my workout on the scale (that is by the door so everyone can see).  I don't know if there's a name for these scales, it's the ones you have in the doctor's office with the counter weights at eye level that you have to move left/right to get your weight.  Your basic scale, anyway, so I'll leave it at my weight and go do my workout (196-198, depending on the last good shit I've had).  Now keep in mind, I'm a 5'6" escapee from Willy Wonka's factory, so my weight is deceptive.  Once in a week or so, some dependa hamzilla will come in there for their 5 minutes of cardio and 10 minutes of "stretching", because you know #swoleislife, and while I'm in the squat rack or doing deadlifts, I'll check my peripheral and witness the buttery death.... Hamshit steps on the scale and that bad boy tips to the left and doesn't budge, food rapist starts desperately sliding the counter weights around to get their tonnage, and it's obviously WAY over 200.  I watch the look of "ugh, muh cundishuns, weight loss is impossibul!"  and they huff and puff out the gym, waddling through the door, almost scraping the door frame as they leave.  It's the little things, the small pleasures in life that make me happy :)