"YOU MEAN I HAVE TO WAIT AN *HOUR* TO EAT??" So I attend a graduate program at a university in a "fit" state, yeah fucking right. Shitlords and ladies, Colorado is not the promise land of fitness, trust me. Yesterday I was in my office which I share with another department and they were discussing where to take the guest speaker for lunch after she was done presenting. Of course the hogs were out in full force, squealing things like "RED LOBSTER!", "MEXICAN!", "WE HAVE THE DEPARTMENT CREDIT CARD, APPETIZERS FOR EVERYONE!". It was practically a ham orgy of excitement over food....UNTIL dun dun dun one ham realized, "GUYZ! THIS MEANS WE CAN'T HAVE PIZZA DURING THE PRESENTATION!" Now, the department pays for lunch for everyone who doesn't attend lunch with the speaker after and it's generally pizza. If you attend lunch you're expected to wait an hour (oh my gawd) and leave the pizza for those not attending the paid lunch. Simple, yes? Apparently not. Cue all of the squealing, "WE CAN'T HAVE PIZZA?", "WE CAN HAVE SOME RIGHT?", "BUT I'M SO HUNGRY! I DON'T WANT TO WAIT AN HOUR!", "ONE SLICE WON'T RUIN LUNCH, RIGHT!?". Honestly? You fat fucking disgusting pigs can't wait an hour  to stuff your faces on the department's dime and are going to snarf all the pizza too? I was so revolted. Then of course they all get pizza, except one she beast who made a point of telling the department head, "oh, i'm so hungry but i'm going to be good and wait for lunch until aftertee hee" as if this made her some type of god damn hero. Fucking mayo goblins. They ended up going to get Mexican food and I noped the fuck out. I was not about to be stuck in that office when the spicy shit kicked in and they proceeded to spew and leak noxious gas and other biohazards from their bloated, reeking bodies.