Today I saw a grotesque fat. For context, I got up at 4:30 like I normally do and went for a run. I usually do a full marathon but I have a sprained ankle, so today I only did half. I hit my PR so I decided to treat myself! I went to the cafe and ordered an espresso shot and some fresh pressed water. As I was standing in line I heard a snuffle like a bariatric pug. I turned around, and saw that my ears did not deceive me. There stood a 350 lb 5' 2" beast, glaring at my taut abs and sexy, defined knees. Its human-shaped spouse handed me their phone number on a scrap of paper that was saturated in lustful drool. The cottage cheese creature sputtered angrily like a pot of grits with the heat up too high. Before it could say anything my order was ready, so I grabbed it and turned to face the nutritional and aesthetic disaster. I looked it in its beady piggy eyes, now welling up with butter, and said sweetly, "I can't possibly finish these, I'm so full." I dropped them in the trash and sauntered out. It was partially true, I definitely didn't need the indulgence. Anyway I hope you enjoyed my little story. Shit on, shitlords and ladies! My mid morning squat rack calls.