Lunchtime fatty (Short rant) I went to heat up some food at the communal microwave for my office. When I got there, one of the lovely human-sized office ladies was already using it to heat up her food so I waited behind her. She was done about two minutes later and so I stepped up. In comes a giant hamworker, not one minute later. This mayo has to be at the very least three hundred pounds. I wasn't aware that there were any mayos of that size in my building. It clearly wants to use the microwave as well, and begins waiting behind me. It doesn't stand like a normal person, however, but goes and sits on the shelving/table against the far wall. Not lean against; sit on. It sits on the table and lifts up that giant ham hock which once served for bipedal locomotion, spreads its legs apart to make room for the pork belly to distend towards its gunt, and rests its hoof on the table. It beaches itself their for the entire five minutes that I am using the microwave, shifting from time to time but keeping its hoof on the surface where many people sort documents or set their coffee when they use the copier and printer which occupy the same room.  I was thoroughly disgusted by that point, almost to the point of rejecting my own lunch.  The silver lining is that as I was leaving the room, before Mayo-san could dislodge itself from the table, a fellow shitlady came in, and, not noticing the blob, began using the microwave to reheat her coffee. TL;DR  Fat disrespects common area furnishings because it is too lazy to stand for five minutes; loses spot in line for microwave.