Simple, just do what I did. First, don't get married. Separation is much easier when you are just common-law. Second, have the discussion early on that getting fat is a deal breaker. Told my shitlady that even if I still love her, if she gets fat I will NOT want to have sex with her. Period. She will have a window of time to fix the situation, but eventually I will have to walk away. Also state you will and must always be allowed to be honest with her/him. Eg: Sharing a shower the other day. (Ms. GrandFupa does figure competitions, but is in the off season right now) Her: "My back and shoulders look great still, but my abs are not as defined anymore" Me: "yes you look like you have gained 3-5 lbs since your last show" Her - momentary look of hurt on her face. Me: "If you prefer, I could start lying to you and telling you that you look great no matter what" Her: "Noooo, you know that's no what I want" Me: "this is how I love you" See, if I lied to her when she is getting a bit soft, when she knows this without me telling her, then how could I expect her to believe me when I say she's beautiful?! Set out your expectations of each other early on, and reconfirm them now and then - and be willing to walk if they break the promise. It's not superficial, just honest. Lie to yourself or compromise on your deal breakers and you WILL be miserable. On the balance, if she broke her neck skiing and was a quad, I would happily take care of her forever, as she will still be my little shitlady, personality and all. Getting fat is an internal character flaw I can never look past. Go find your shitlady/Lord - they are out there... Right @carsandsarcasm ?!!