My first time shitlording. A feel good short story. Ah yes, i was thirteen years old at the time and was called the twig for being so skinny. I was in my prime regarding my metabolism, eating as i pleased whenever and how ever i wanted, but i always had a limit to how much i ate due to both my parents being fat and not wanting to follow suit. Anyways i digress. My family from Australia had came to visit, and take a guess they too were both fat (My aunt, and my cousin Renee.) Now we will be focusing on Renee today. Renee was 14 years old, 5'3 and at least 200 pounds. She ate a shit ton and always looked sad because she was fat. Now you would expect anyone else to fix this problem, but her. LOL nah she wanted ppl to say" no no no, U, FAT? LOL no ur Skinnny dont listen to what people tell you they are just jealous of your personality. " While yes it was nice to see family, but i became very annoyed of her. Complained about the house being too cold or too warm, or calling me annoying, which i always denied. (Yes i was annoying but she deserved it for one reason.)   So like i said earlier I loved eating. Everyday I would go on a bike ride, come back home play some vidya and eat my favorite Kruncher brand chips, and no one fucks with my chips because i fucking love them. Well gradually a pattern was beginning to  form my bag of chips  would be completely empty by the second day of purchasing them, and i had yet to eat a single chip from said bag. One day It was 9pm and  i was playing my vidya WITHOUT my chips. Well guess who walked down the stairs with my ENTIRE bag of chips that i thought we were out of... Renne, yes Renne had in her hand an ENTIRE 16oz bag of chips in her hands. upon seeing her practically sucking in my chips like a large shop vac. A switch had gone off in my head. i had never been this enraged in my life, deceived and deprived of my favorite chips.  So I blurted out without even thinking about it, 'RENNE YOU ARE EATING THE ENTIRE BAG OF CHIPS YOU FATTY." Instantly she began to cry and replied by saying "I JUST STARTED EATING THESE, CALM DOWN." She then "ran" upstairs and hid. My mother, my aunt, and I all began the search for the missing hippo. We looked everywhere for well over 45 mins in my house but she was nowhere to be seen. So I assumed she must have went outside to go cool off and eat the rest of my chips(mind you she did run away with my chips.) So i had given up on my quest to find the hambeast thief, and went to my room.  As i opened my door i heard the iconic sound of a bag being scrunched up. I knew that sound could only be coming from one place-alright everyone ill give you a second to guess where a large hambeast could be hiding in a normal everyday bedroom- and that one place was under my bed. I stood their in disbelief. How could something so large fit under something so small? It was just one of those existential questions that will remain unanswerable in this life time, and more importantly, was just too much for my young brain to process. So after admitting she was stuck, it took my mom, my aunt and myself to pull her out from down under. Apparently, according to my mom and aunt I was in the wrong. I refused to apolgize  as I felt i did nothing wrong. It also did not help that i was far too busy laughing at the concept of my cousin being stuck under my bed. I was then grounded for a week, and as expected i still did not get to enjoy eating my delicious Krunchers brand chips.  Thank you for reading if you stuck around for the whole this. This is a true story, and please excuse my shitty grammar and writing skills. Stay Sexy, Towel_Head