Sabotaging Fats: Hammy Strikes Back So I've posted before about the office of fats I work with, and the one, Hammy.  Since I posted, Hammy has lost weight. She's still not human, but it's obvious to everyone else -- especially the other office fats. I tend to stay clear of them in their oinking groups, but I knew as soon as they noticed, the fat logic and sabotage would kick in.  The first instance, Fat 1, Fat 2, and Fat 3 cornered Hammy during our lunch break (we all break at the same time, close the office, it helps to make sure everyone takes a break). They all demanded her "secret" and when she said she was using My Fitness Pal and counting calories, they acted like she'd slapped them all across the face. Yelling about how that doesn't work for everyone, she must be one of the lucky ones, etc etc. One of them told her that it was "offensive" that she would parade her "new body" around and how it was inappropriate, etc etc.  So then, a big change in how we "celebrate birthdays" happens. Corporate doesn't want to waste money on all these shitty grocery store cakes, so every 3 months we're to buy one from a local bakery to emphasize partnership. The boss put Hammy in charge of it, since Hammy runs the account with the bakery.  Our first celebration was Monday, and when Hammy arrived with the cake box, all hell broke loose. It was hysterical. She got a nice vanilla cake with raspberry and whipped cream, but it was not a sheet cake. No, no. It was a small round cake. Just enough for everyone in the office to have a small slice.  The fats were FURIOUS with her, but of course they didn't complain to her face. Instead, you know what they did? They cut the cake into larger slices so that only about 8 of 15 employees could have any. When the cake was all cut, people asked if there was more, and the fats all told everyone to "blame it on Hammy" for not getting a big enough cake. Now, I was looking forward to that cake ever since she mentioned what kind it was, and I had made enough room in my calorie count for the day to indulge. I immediately stepped up and said "There's plenty of cake for everyone if you make REGULAR sized slices." I demonstrated and cut the huge pieces in half. The biggest fat of all gasped that gross choking noise they all make and said "That's not big enough!" One of them even went so far as to tell management that Hammy was forcing the office on her "anorexic diet." So what did our shitlord management do? They took away the candy jars, snacks, etc and sent out an office e-mail saying that due to complaints, the office would no longer be celebrating birthdays, allowing parties, snacks, catered lunches, etc.  I count it as a win.