Original text from Reddit My husband and I have been married for almost a year and together for about 6. I would say that we have a good relationship, except for where other people are involved. For the first two or three years that we were together, he lived with his friend R. R has never liked me and has been always made snide comments in my direction, rolled his eyes and made faces whenever I was talking, things like that. For the first couple of years I tried to be friendly to R and win him over, to no avail. Mostly I try to avoid social events where he is present since I don't want to waste my time around someone who has always been an asshole to me. My husband is upset that I don't always go to events with his friends since he spends time with mine. On one occasion where he guilted me into going to a party some of his friends were having, R pointedly stared at me while going on a rant about how disgusting and "ruined" fat people were. At the time I was probably smaller than I am now. I know that I am disgusting and should feel bad about being as fat as I am, and I am trying very hard and have lost 10lb in the past week, but obviously I am not willing to be in a bathing suit near this guy, and I feel that by inviting R to his pool party, my husband was choosing to have him at his party instead of me. Whenever he invites R over to our new house (twice in the 6 months we've had it) I feel unwelcome and pushed out. When I told my husband this and explained the incident why, he said that he "didn't remember" it, and that "it happened in the past", and said that I shouldn't have encouraged him to have a party for his birthday and asked if I didn't want him to see his friends anymore. I don't want to tell my husband who he can or cannot be friends with or who he can invite to our house, but I really don't want to have to ha  2203  ng out with someone who has been such an ass to me, especially at our home. TLDR: My husband chooses not to believe that his friend told me I was "ruined" because of my weight, and now I'm expected to host a pool party with him there. How can my husband have a normal relationship with his friend coming to our house, while I still feel like I have some autonomy/sanctuary in our home?