Shitlorded a fatty with my choice of food. Today, I went to lunch at a place called Larkburger, which is a Colorado burger chain that focuses on organic ingredients and eco-friendly practices. I like going there because they offer a lettuce wrap substitute free of charge (low-grain/starch diet) and the food is pretty damn tasty. Also the one local to where I live has a juice/smoothie shop next door which is just awesome. I ordered a tuna burger lettuce wrap and a side salad with vinaigrette. While I was chowing down, these three fatties weeble-wobbled in, and after placing their orders collapsed at the table next to me. Unbeknownst to me, I garnered the attention of one of the fats, and my food choice seemingly irked him. When he clambered up to refill his fountain drink beetus juice (he had downed it in approximately 45 seconds) he commented as he trundled by "Who goes to a burger joint and orders a salad?". Me, fatass, that's who. I was mid-chew so I didn't say anything, but on his way back I paused eating my meal and said "I did get a burger, it's in a lettuce wrap instead of a bun." and pointed to my tuna burger. For those of you who haven't had the privilege of eating at a Larkburger, this is how they serve their food and this is what their lettuce wrap burgers look like when they're in the little cardboard sleeve. I was eating my salad first so I hadn't touched my burger yet, and this landwhale has obviously never ordered a lettuce wrap in his life so he doesn't know what it looks like, probably thought it was extra lettuce for my salad or something. When I pointed out his mistake, he got a sheepish look on his face and quickly muttered out "Oh, okay, thank you for your service" (Army, was in uniform on lunch break) and waddled back to his table. I said thank you and went back to eating (have to be polite in uniform, 'maintaining professional appearance' and all that jazz), but I noticed he kept stealing glances over in my direction for the rest of my meal. I don't know if he was mad, ashamed/embarrassed, or intrigued (I can never tell their emotions cause their faces look like fucking play-doh). Best lunch I've had in a week, I should really go there more often. edit: My grammar is terrible.