Loud fats on a plane. Frequent flier, used to assholes. I'm sitting next to this nice Asian lady who is a flying instructor. Behind us are a pod of whales, chattering as loudly as they can about their decorators, the seven pounds they gained on vacation, "Oh I feel like a blimp." I turned around to give them a pointed, "Yup, you look pretty fat" glare. I really, really don't want to get escorted off this flight by an air marshall. I'm in the exit row and I can guaran-fucking-tee I won't help these bitches off the flight if we crash. Less than two hours to go.