Fatpourri: an assortment of fat related items Hey shitlords. It's been a long time since I've actually posted something outside of comments. My summer was super busy with three jobs and a new shitlord boyfriend. To make up for it, I am brining you three things in one post: a hilarious story, some fat safari pictures, and a fit vs fat with yours truly. •The story:  This happened about two weeks ago. I was working my delivery job and had a delivery to take. I was driving down a one way to my destination when I came upon a four way stop that had construction on all the sidewalks around it. I slowed down and got in que when I noticed a man on my right running down the sidewalk, past the caution tape, and toward the corner. I look to see what he is running toward and I burst out laughing. An egg shaped obeast had fallen INTO the sidewalk. It had ignored the caution tape and decided to shuffle itself on the crumbling sidewalk to only have fallen though and gotten itself stuck. It looked like a plug that fit perfectly in a hole! The man tried to pull the beast out, but there was no way. Two other people rushed over to help but the lard barge would not budge. By this point I had reached the corner and had to leave so I didn't get to see if any heavy machinery was used to get him out. I also didn't have any chance to snap pictures and I regret it since it was the funniest thing I had seen in any long time. •Safari: Here we see the dangerous sidewalk fattopotamus. I had to take the picture from far away due to legends saying it will unhinge its jaw to swallow up any living creatures smaller than itself. Though not as beautiful or majestic as its cousin the hippopotamus, it's twice as big and three times as mean: https://ibb.co/d5x46G Our next subject's scientific name No Asses Maximus can usually be spotted in grocery stores in North America continentwide. I'm sure you could imagine my surprise when I stumbled behind one in the wild. Waddling its way back to its feeding hole, the no ass had an air of confidence as it stomped about; I'm sure it was determined to take down a whole Little Debbie endcap by itself: https://ibb.co/d8WQDw And lastly, two butter golems for the price of one- chocolate and vanilla. These types of monsters spend 90% of their waking hours eating (as seen here). I felt safe enough to pass them for as long as I don't get near their open mouths they cannot see me while feasting. Truly a disgusting sight to behold: https://ibb.co/gc5tYw •And finally a fit vs. fat leotard booty edition: https://ibb.co/cfgvfb I hope you all enjoyed this mixture of humor and horror.