Hospital Hams I found myself in the ER yesterday, as I was having symptoms that felt exactly like it did when I got dx'ed with acute pancreatitis a little over a year ago (don't ask me how an at the time 20-year-old gets pancreatitis because I don't know). I had to do the super fun task of peeing in a cup, so the nurse shows me to a bathroom, which is currently occupied. After standing there for a few minutes, this ungodly smells starts wafting out from behind the door. I move further away to escape the stench and after ten minutes and two toilet flushes, who waddles out but a man whose shape can only be described as an oval. So I go in and it smells like ROTTING cheese. Gag me. Luckily, the old 'shirt over the nose' trick worked. Before this, the nurse had told me my room number and because it was #B, I thought that meant it would be next door to #A. I was praying it would be next door because who is in #A but a planet? But no, it's a two-bed room. So for the entire three hours I was there, I got to listen to Snuffleupagus wheeze and snore and groan. And, as if this wasn't enough, my nurse was borderline mini-moon. I forget how, but we got onto the topic of weight and I mentioned how I'd gained 13 pounds in the last four years (from 117 to 130). She said that I must have been really skinny (I was - I had an ED) and how I'm now at a healthy weight. Then she goes, "On the higher end of healthy, but still healthy?" And I'm just like, "Excuse me? There's only one of us in this "room" on the higher end and it's you." Didn't say that, of course, but I would have liked to. In short, no pancreatitis, but a bunch of hams.