My Shitlordy Revenge Me, baby, & dog went to go visit my mom and my grandparents today in the town where I grew up. There is a gorgeous dog park right by my parents' house, and since today was a nice day weather wise, I decided to stop at the park before we headed back home. It was about 12C (~54F) so warm for this time of year, but still a little chilly. Baby was bundled up in his stroller, and I was wearing a light wool peacoat. It's not overly fitted, but it tapers in at the waist and accentuates my figure. The great thing about this dog park is that it has a paved path around the inside perimeter. I can walk around the park on the path with the stroller, while my dog gets to have fun with the other dogs. I do a few laps, and from the opposite side of the park, I can see that there is an obeast coming into the park with its pug. She plops down on the closest bench and lets her dog go play with the others. As I get closer, I think to myself that the obeast looks familiar. Maybe I'm staring a bit too much, because she is staring back. Where do I know this beast from? I see the wheels turning in her head as well, and all of a sudden she calls out, "{My first name} {my maiden name} is that really you???" I'm somewhat flabbergasted, as I still don't know who this mayo snorter is. "Uh, I'm going by {married name} now, but yes." The butter goblin heaved herself up off the bench. "It's {name}! From {name of high school}. It's so good to see you!" Holy fuck. This chick was such a fucking cunt to me in high school. I was tall and lanky, and very shy and awkward - which made me a good target for bullies. Like this bitch right here. She used to tease me mercilessly. I don't even remember what about, but she made my teenage life hell. She was one of the popular girls who thought they were better than everybody because they were thin and pretty. Well, she certainly wasn't pretty any more. Standing in front of me was a calorie hoarder that weighed at least 220 pounds, at a height of maybe 5'4". I stammered, "oh, yeah, it's nice to see you too. You look so... different." "You too! I hardly recognized you!" she says to me, doing that "fake niceness" thing that catty women do. (Side note: I look almost identical to what I did in high school, except now my hair is blonde instead of brown and I'm about 20 pounds lighter.) Then she starts into the barrage of questions. "What are you up to? Oh, you're married now? Where are you living?" You shitladies know what I'm talking about... it's all those questions that cunts like this ask to make it seem like they are interested in what you have to say, but they are actually trying to size you up. Am I better than her now? Am I more successful? Am I happier? She eventually turns her attention to my son. "Oh, who's this little cutie?" in that fake, patronizing voice. "This is my son, {name}" I said. She tells me how lucky I am, because she and her husband have been trying for a baby for a while now, but have been unsuccessful so far. She asks how old he is, so I say 7 months. "Only 7 months?" she asks. (My son is like 90th percentile for his height, so a lot of people think he's at least a year old.) Then she turns to me and goes, "I can't believe you only had him 7 months ago! God, you look almost anorexic!" No. Way. Bitch. Not this time. You are not taking a dig at me. So I reply in a deadpan tone, "I'm not anorexic. You're just fat." Her face falls. She definitely wasn't expecting me to say that, and now she doesn't know what to say. So I give her a fake smile and say, "well, it was nice seeing you, but I really need to get back to my exercise. See you." And I continued my course around the park. Hambeast quickly gathered up her dog and left. Call me petty, but it felt SO fucking good.