Have you ever threatened to smack an old, fat man on the ass? i have. Don't say sleazy shit to waitresses in front of me, you garbage.  elderly supertanker of lard to young waitresses: "i'm going to buy you and her a beer" waitresses: "no you're not" elderly supertanker of lard: "oh, yes I am"   waitresses (exasperated): "no you're really not." elderly supertanker of lard: "yes, i WILL buy you beers or else I'll smack you.  ...  on the butts!" He wasn't even drunk, just a fat moron.  He suddenly got brave enough to say this after all the other customers had left and it was near closing time at 10pm. I guess he thought I couldn't hear him since I was sitting in the corner with my lap top and phone out on the other side of the restaurant. The waitresses had been talking in a friendly way with all the customers, including him, in the half-hour preceding this and right after he said that the conversation went back to being friendly. This bowling ball-shaped, physically and mentally slow, supertanker of lard was a regular at this restaurant but I was a stranger to this restaurant/bar only having visited a few times over the last two months. Plus, he was short, could barely walk, was practically stuck in his seat (not exaggerating. it took him 5 minutes to stand up.), elderly, and was now back to acting friendly again, the conversation having rapidly moved on, so I didn't immediately know what I should do.    I just stared at him blatantly and over the next hour he made one or two more inappropriate, innuendo-ish remarks that I couldn't quite catch, being too far away.   I made sure to leave only when he left so I could follow him to the dark, deserted parking lot in this rural, small Idaho town. I loitered around him for a while, following him to his car. me: "hey" elderly supertanker of lard: "what?" me: "don't say that you will smack someone, fat-ass." elderly supertanker of lard: "what?" me: "what you said in there - don't say that again. please, fat-ass."  elderly supertanker of lard: "don't tell me what to say." me: "i just did" elderly supertanker of lard: [flustered fat noises/inaudible/don't remember] Then i pointed at him, shook my finger at him and said "i will smack you! ... on the ass." That's what I had wanted to say to him in the restaurant but the waitresses don't know me, would've taken it seriously, and one of them might think violence was about to break out and called the police on me. He said in a confused, scared old man voice, "you just go on." I said "ok" and left because I'm not actually an elder-abuser and didn't intend to attack him. I just thought "he owes me amusement for ruining my night." Also, if I continued verbally insulting and haranguing him and if he then called the cops it'd definitely look bad for me. He'd probably lie to the police and say I did something illegal. Well, I guess it is illegal to say to someone you'll smack him on the ass but it was funny when I did it but serious when he said it. Also, this being rural Idaho and him being a completely physically defenseless fat, he probably had a gun. I wish I'd said one more insult to him though instead of saying "ok." Anyway, the moral of the story is 'insult an angry fat-ass to its face sometime because it feels really good.' It made my night go from bad to happy.   He also repeatedly and within earshot of the whole (small) restaurant tried to get the older waitress to let the under-age waitress have a beer that he would pay for. I'm thinking of going back with a sound recorder or hidden camera to see if I can get him banned and/or charged with a crime by contacting the management of the restaurant or police. The possibility of me putting it on social media could help put pressure on the restaurant to do something or might get him charged with a crime. The waitresses probably feel constrained in what they can do or may not care that much. But I care because the giant sack of dog shit ruined my meal like fats ALWAYS DO. I'm starting to agree with Milo - they don't belong in public places .