theepilepticferret, that's a hard loss and I'm so sorry you're living it.  Emotions can really get out of whack when a loved one dies. Even when it's the natural order and the person has lived a long life, it still sends us reeling.  Be good to yourself. And the fat bridesmaid sounds like an excellent outlet for anger, sadness, frustration. Any and all. Push the limits, knowing you can always fall back.on grief to excuse any unfortunate incidents or behavior. Not sure how well it will play in court but it should suffice with friends and family.  I'm in no way making light of your loss. Just wanted to see if I could make you smile. Even for a minute.  I've never hugged a ferret. But I'd give you a big hug right now if I could.