My dainty co-worker proves once again not even a team of surgeons can beat the beetus. So I work with a bunch of fat women. The company owners are a couple massive gobs of pork fat, and they won't hire any woman who isn't smuggling at least 5 gallons of Crisco. (Strangely enough, all their male hires are skinny and fit.) But one woman brought in a couple years back really takes the cake. Cakes. Lots and lots of cakes.  Slobarella was about 20 at the time, and at least 100 pounds overweight. She has to walk with her feet at more than shoulder width because her thighs are so bloated, and her face looks like that kid from the gumdrop song back in the day. She's missed so much time due to foot and ankle problems, you'd almost think her frame wasn't built to support all that mass. She's always eating something, and is never without one of those giant buckets of soda from 7-11. But her weight problem is genetic. Her mom (the only relative I've met) is rail thin. But genetics can be weird like that. Or something. At 23, Slobarella is a borderline deathfat. Still ambulatory, but only just. Any clothes she buys fit her loose at first, but are tight as sausage casings within a month. The 2XL men's company logo shirts the other fatties wear don't come close to fitting her, pretty sure the last time the last special order of shirts for her was 4XL. They fit so tight you can almost see the nipples on her back boobs. So anyway, due to genetic issues, the only way for Slobarella to lose weight is bariatric surgery. She's been campaigning the last few years to get a lap band. Doctors wouldn't give it to her without her at least trying to lose weight by conventional means. Bet you can all guess how hard she tried. But she finally convinced the doctor surgery was needed, and convinced the government to pay for it. She finally got her operation right before Xmas. Here's the thing: She needed to go on a very stringent diet leading up to the surgery, including just liquids for a few days. This time she was actually motivated this time around. She lost 20 pounds in a week.  WHAT THE FUCK! Bitch needs surgery because she can't lose weight "dieting." Actually diets to get the surgery, and loses weight.  Bonus followup: Worked with Slobarella yesterday, our first day together since she had her operation. At the end of her lunch break, she ran to 7-11 and came back with a jumbo Slurpee and a big bag of chips. I'm choking on my own rage.