Some light evening amusement for you shitlords, in which I see a fatass stuffing candy in their face while riding a bicycle. So I commute to work by bicycle in one of the most bike-friendly cities in America, and have done so for years. When the weather is nice, I see hundreds of people going to their jobs, running errands, and even taking their kids to school via bike. During that same time, I've also seen people doing all sorts of bizarre activities on these same bikes: smoking, talking on a cell phone with no hands, playing a trumpet, jerking off, etc etc.  Today, though, I saw something brand new. As I was stopped at a long light, I took a look around and saw the usual assortment of fit, wiry folks from full on middle-aged freds to your stereotypical, way-cooler-than-me hipsters on fixies. At the way back of the pack, though, was something I wasn't used to seeing. A full on legbeard, complete with obesity and problem glasses, was riding up on a beach cruiser.   Now, seeing a tumblr stereotype outside in the sun wasn't what surprised me. What did make me stare, though, was this woman was fucking eating. Of all the weird things I've seen people doing in traffic, this was surprisingly unusual. She had a bag of candy in her front bike basket and had one hand that would normally be dedicated to controlling the handlebars or getting ready to brake dedicated instead to mainlining sugar. I couldn't stop from staring at her as she approached the group waiting at the light, and she caught me staring with what was no doubt a constrained look of disgust on my face.   A few blocks ahead, I was at another light with two travel lanes that requires everyone to make a left but allows right-hand turns from the right-most of the two lanes. Since it was two left-hand turn lanes turning onto a street with two lanes, I was at the far right of those two lanes so I could go directly to the bike lane on the other road as soon as the light turned. She came up beside me in the middle of the two left-turning lanes, and said "You know, you shouldn't be in that lane. People making a right are going to get stuck behind you when the light turns". I replied with a polite  "I always wait here so I can get to the bike lane as fast as possible. I bike through this intersection a lot, don't worry about me."  What I wanted to say was "Just because you have trouble overcoming your massive inertia doesn't mean I have the same problem." As I sped away, I caught a glimpse of her wobbling awkwardly over to the bike lane while drivers behind her were presumably thinking "fucking cyclists, always clogging up the roads".  TL;DR: While biking home from work I see a fattie eating candy with one hand while biking through traffic. Later, she gives me shit advice on how to safely cross an intersection which I politely declined.