My whale neighbors have turned me into a shitlord I apologize for the length of this, but I have to get this shit off my chest. About six months ago, my wife got into working out (we're both in pretty good shape already, but she wanted to tone up). Shortly thereafter, FPH followed. Initially, I thought her hatred of fat people was rather immature, and we had a few discussions about her taking a more positive and realistic approach when it came to dealing with fatties. In the end, she made it clear that her desire to bitch about fat people was just that, and she wasn't hurting anyone by making a few comments on reddit or here on voat. Fine, she's her own person and allowed to do whatever the hell she wants online.  There were a few times where she would share some images or comments with me, and I would always feel guilty about laughing and chastising fatties. I see myself as a left-leaning progressive, so I try to be open to alternative lifestyles and being accepting of other people's wants. About a month and a half ago, I made a comment on Twitter about how the most far-right religious conservatives almost always tend to be the ones who suffer from obesity - which I found particularly hypocritical given their so-called Biblical argument against homosexuals. This was the first time I was introduced to the "health at every size" movement.  Basically, it was fine for me to make fun of white people, and fine for me to make fun of old people with outdated ideas, but the moment I made a comment about someone else's weight a follower of mine asserted that I was a horrible, horrible person. She claimed that there are plenty of fat people who run marathons and that you can be "fit an any size." I asked her to explain to me why there weren't any fit fat people competing in track in the Olympics. She called me a douche. I asked her how one quantifies a "fit fat person" - and if there were conventions or metrics available that could shed some light on this phenomenon. She told me to stop calling myself a progressive and then blocked me.  Dumbfounded, I went and asked my better half if people really believed this kind of pseudoscientific bullshit. I was astonished to discover that this isn't some sort of isolated belief; there are a great number of fatties and fatty supporters who think you can be fit at 300 pounds with a gut and a daily calorie intake of 4,000 calories.  The fuck? Anyway, shortly after being introduced to all of this weird and ridiculous shit - a family of three (mom, dad, 2-year-old) moved in next door to our apartment. The mom is a goddamn whale and the dad is quickly approaching whale status. They're fucking disgusting. Mrs. Fatty fucking waddles when she walks. She's around 5' and weighs probably 250 pounds. You know that gown fat people wear because they can't find clothes that fit them? She wears a pink one. Anytime I've seen her actually wear shirts, she has what I call the Fat Gap, which is what happens when your gut hangs out so far that no matter the size of the shirt you can always see the bottom of the fatty's gut. When she breathes she does so through her teeth. Whenever she's waddling around the apartment complex or sitting outside smoking, she lets out what sounds like a beer can opening, but longer and way fucking louder. I've seen her fall while walking out of her apartment at least twice, and other neighbors have informed me that they've seen her fall stepping over the curb from the parking lot. Apparently, steps are enormously difficult for this fatty, which is understandable given she's so fucking fat it's probably been years since she's seen her goddamn feet.  Mrs. Fatty also stays at home all day with her child while Mr. Fatty works. She feeds the kid all kinds of fucking garbage, like Doritos and Pizza and all the shit you aren't supposed to be feeding a kid. There's a cat that hangs out around our complex, and for a while my wife and I were subsidizing her food. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Fatty decided that they should feed the cat all of their leftovers, which has turned the cat into an outside pet as opposed to a hunter that can keep snakes and rats away (we live in the South and our complex overlooks a field populated with these creatures). One day, my wife witnessed the kid eating cat food out of the cat's fucking bowl while mom just sat her fat ass in her chair and watched him. Instead of getting off her fat ass and doing something about it, Mrs. Fatty just laughed it off. My wife was horrified.  Speaking of chairs, they've already had to replace two because Mr. and Mrs. Fatty suspiciously break them. They're so fucking fat that it's difficult for them to find chairs that can support their weight. The child isn't fat yet, but he's undoubtedly going to be given Mrs. Fatty's propensity for pizza, fried chicken, and fast food. She never gets off her ass and plays with him. She'll sit and watch her poor child meander around next to their front door; we almost never see him play or participate in outside activities.  Do you know how fat people smell? That stale, musky odor that lingers because they're too fat to wash certain areas of their bodies? Whenever they open their door and my wife and I happen to be outside - we get a nice solid whiff of that stench. Mrs. Fatty has apparently offered to babysit some of the kids in the complex when parents go to work, but of course nobody wants to leave their children with a fatso who struggles to walk. She's not only socially awkward, but she's also a fucking idiot - and Mr. Fatty isn't much better.  Mr. Fatty installs air conditioning systems for a living. I find this odd given he's 5'7" and weighs a good 300+ pounds. He also suffers from the Fat Gap, but at least he breathes like a normal person. I run an energy efficiency company, so we deal with air conditioners and HVAC people all the time - how he's able to get into attic hatches and how he hasn't fallen through a ceiling yet baffles me. Before their very existence started offending me, I tried carrying on conversations with him. He's a fucking moron. You guys know that meme that's been floating around Facebook? The one about how Halloween will be on Friday the 13th this year? He believes it. That's how fucking stupid he is.  I have logistical questions, too; mostly about how these two apes were able to locate their genitals long enough to procreate so they could have a baby. I imagine it being similar to deep sea diving with a snorkel. Absolutely fucking disgusting. And you know what the worst part of it is? I could forgive all of this, all of it if they were just good parents - but they aren't. Mrs. Fatty spanks the kid frequently, even for the smallest of infractions. Anytime he screams or cries? She smacks him. She yells at him constantly, presumably because raising her voice is easier than getting up off her fat ass to go tend to her kid. I feel terrible for the child, because he's not going to have much of a chance in life with two stupid fat parents who feed him shit.  Because of their existence and proximity, I've gone full shitlord (I know, I know, never go full shitlord, they say). We're in the process of trying to buy a house, but Jesus Christ I've thought about packing up and moving just so I don't have to listen to Mrs. Fatty breathe or hear another stupid fucking story from Mr. Fatty. tl;dr: Fat neighbors have turned me into an angry shitlord.