How do I trigger the office ham? TL;DR: Trying to triggur a fat at work without saying anything that will get me in trouble or make it seem like promoting me would be a bad choice. There's this woman at work who is the absolute stereotypical tublerina. She's about 250 pounds, I'd guess. But I always guess high because I'm expecting people to have some muscle mass, so she's probably closer to 200, since I'm sure she has as little muscle as is physically possible for her to still drag her lard around. A little background: I am an adult woman. I started working at this place a few months ago. I'm not super skinny because of the aforementioned muscle mass, but I'm about 22-23% body fat ("about" because I haven't measured in a while) and I'm not so ripped that my BMI is in the overweight range. I walk with my head up because I'm a bipedal animal and that's how it's done, goddamn it! Because of that, I make a lot of eye contact. I don't work at a desk most of the day and I walk around pretty much the whole time. I end up passing a lot of people. I'm not only skinny, but relatively attractive. All the men I passed either returned the eye contact  or were obviously absorbed in something. There are two other women in the office, both fat, and neither of them returned eye contact. I have since figured out that one is just shy and a self-aware fat that I can just leave alone in the light of I want to be promoted at some point. There's only about 2-3 other people in the office that aren't either fat or skinny-fat. There's about 40+ people in the building. The other one though. She's who this is about. She has short hair dyed in an unnatural color. No septum piercing, but the office might not allow it. I included the eye contact thing in here because it made me decide that I hate her. She is a "friendly", "bubbly" person. Definitely the eye contact type of personality. Unless you're way more attractive than her, apparently. I'm not into it.  I have salad/veggies for lunch every day and I get tons of shit for it. "Rabbit food" gets tossed around a lot. It was in my first week or so that while I was eating my salad she came in and said... that my salad looked good? We talked a little about how that is SO not what people usually say about my lunch. I've seen her eat lunch a few times and it looks like she's trying to lose weight because she'll have small-ish portions, but she doesn't seem to get the idea of "don't eat high-calorie food". Having small (only one serving) servings of potato salad and potato chips isn't really gonna help. Serving size also doesn't matter when you just have a bunch of different foods instead of a bunch of servings of one food. I'm confident that she is one triggur away from talking about how great my gunetics are and how lucky I am. I, of course, bike to work, watch my calories, move all day at work, and go to the gym on the regular. My gunetics actually leads me to have to eat less than my TDEE would suggest I can in order to lose weight.  I want to triggur her so badly. Every time I work by her work space and clicks off of facebook to pretend to work; Every time I walk past the "custom jewelry" advertisements on her car; every time I see her walk around, presumably because it's "bad to sit all day, teehee"; I just feel it so hardcore. But I can't do anything that would jeopardize my "upward mobility" here.  Does anyone have any ideas? I can feel it coming when I look at her, but I need to be subtle about it. Bonus points if you can make me look like the good guy/victim. Like I was saying earlier, the office is almost exclusively fat, so I'm not gonna get any fat hate support.  Thanks shitlords! TL;DR: Trying to triggur a fat at work without saying anything that will get me in trouble or make it seem like promoting me would be a bad choice.