I stole an elevator from an obeast with a cane... So I'm getting off the train just now. It's 11:30 and I've been lugging this 150 lb bag (slight exaggeration) around all day, so I decided to take the escalator. Just as I'm exiting the train, a 400 lb hamburglar (very slight exaggeration) with a cane (of course) waddles out a car ahead of me. I have absolutely no reason to despise her, but I do. Even though she's ahead of me, I quickly pass her. I get on the escalator and ride. She gets on behind me. Towards the middle, I take a few leisurely steps up, knowing that's all I'll need. I get off the escalator and head calmly to the elevator. I know what I have to do. I press the button. Now this particular type of elevator is made specifically for hambeasts, obeasts, and buttergobblers, so no matter what button you push, it literally waits 20 seconds before it closes the doors, and it gives a 'ding ding' twice to let the fats know to waddle faster (if they can). As the elevator gives the second 'ding ding', I hear the turnstile and a curious  sound accompanying it... "Rheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" I look down at my phone and smile. My only regret is that I don't yet have a son to teach the joys of shitlording...