HAMMATES RANT . 1 . MOLLY MEETS JANE Our story starts with the prancing porker named Molly (names have been changed for privacy purposes). When I first moved in, I wanted to try and make friends with my roommates so I'd have a tolerable year. Molly was my target since the two siblings who live upstairs are sheltered Christians to a brainwashed degree. I tried to find things in common with her and we went out to a bar, watched Stranger Things, she insisted on watching Raising Hope many afternoons together, and of course she would always talk about hitting the gym together then bail on me every time without fail. I'm a quiet gamer for the most part, I've also been a bit of a hermit since my best friend died. I told Molly I was having trouble making friends in such a liberal area. I'm a little older than most kids in my class. It's weird being friends with people who can't drink yet.  One day after arriving home from the gym I was talking to Molly about a girl who had a particularly nicely toned body and I wished I asked for her number so I could be a gym buddy and learn some workouts she does. "Wow Shitlord! You shoulda talked to her to try and get a REEEEal friend instead of ur online fake ones! TEEHEE." Was the first time I realized she's a huge douchebag and has been constantly losing friends over the years because she says insensitive shit to people all the goddamn time. She talked a lot about groups of friends she used to have who ended up being super mean to her and all them would team up and ditch her. Molly literally couldn't figure out she's the asshole who's always offending people.  Then came the comments every single fucking time I went into the kitchen. She'd waddle in saying: "That's what you call a meal?" or "Wow I'm going to be such a good cook by the end of this semester, it's a shame you'll never know what that's like since you never eat." or other small comments where she basically says : You're a gross anorexic piece of shit.  It was then that I realized my alliance with Molly was over, and she had now taken an interest in one of the Brainwashed Christian siblings, Jane. And holy shit did the pair become unbearable.  And I'm done for now. But thank you for letting me rant. That's last time I ever give a chubby chick a chance. Thin and fat isn't compatible for friendship. It'll end with them reeing to their own kind no matter how kind you try to be to them. It's better to stay with our own too.