Hams On Motorcycles Motorcycles are hot.  My boyfriend is a deliciously svelte, tan morsel of goodness. All 5'8" of him. Lush, loose curly locks of dark hair, even darker eyes. Human perfection basically. He drives a shiny red bike and it drives me crazy. The aggressive riding position required for a sports bike can be really tiring to maintain for long distances and he often tells me that I wouldn't be able to ride in the back if I were anything over 90lbs. I'm always careful to not put my weight on him, especially when braking. Everything about riding a bike is sensual and wild and graceful... Which is why it fucking disgusts me with no end whenever I see a mobileham wobbling through traffic in one. It's the worst sight ever I swear it should be illegal. Their leg fat pushes against the bike and makes their knees protrude in opposing angles. Because of their large bellies they cant set their bodies against the machine properly so they're always hunched over with their back fat sticking out and the fabric against their pants always slides down, assaulting my vision with their grotesque cracks. Ugh are you even under the maximum weight limit for a bike!?  FATS RUIN EVERYTHING! FUCK YOU FOR RUINING BIKES!