Just another plane ham story So about a week ago, I had to fly from Israel to Germany. Boarding the flight, I was searching for my assigned seat, already hoping I wouldn't be sitting next to a fatty. Well..didn't work. Had to take the seat next to a massive German woman and a maybe 8-year-old, still human sized girl. Her daughter? Her niece? Even her granddaughter? Honestly I had no idea, this bitch could have been anything between 30 and 60 years old. Probably was her daughter though, assuming from the conversations they had. Both of them apparently had a cold, fatty was constantly sneezing and the little girl was covered into a blanket, coughing but falling asleep about 20 minutes into the flight. So, the ham wasn't clever enough to bring some tissues with her - and as soon as the girl fell asleep, she shamelessly started sneezing into her blanket. Now I don't usually help fatasses, but I kinda felt bad for the girl as she would have to wake up in that bitches snot, so I gave her a couple of tissues I still had in my jacket. Well...obviously they didn't last very long, and fatty started sneezing into the girl's blanket again for a few minutes, until she fell asleep herself.  And as she was sleeping, she seemed to...expand. Fucking expand. She was probably ashamed (at least that) of her size and "held it together" as she was awake, but asleep...she basically took more and more of my seat just by slowly letting her rolls unfold. Mind you, there were armrests. Bitch managed to spill her fupa and shit both over and under the armrest. shudder And when she was awake again, she started talking with the girl about their plans for next summer: She talked about how "sightseeing in Jerusalem was way too exhausting" and that she wants to spend the summer in Tel Aviv at the beach. Who would have thought? And oh. Hell. No. If I see that bitch there again - in a bikini - I might just push her back into the sea, her natural habitat. But well, I can't complain. At least she didn't talk about any New Year's resolutions of going to the gym.