Yoga fats hogging the matts. So I come in early. There's 4 Groupon fats hogging the  center, two snacking on somosas, one chugging cranberry juice. It's hot yoga mind you with very clear no food signs. The poor girl running the late slot is new and just had to deal with the 6pm charity weirdos.  She's pretty much lost a good 15 minutes cleaning up their shit. Finding them mats and towels. Then forced into explaining what bikrams actually is. One actually asked what to put in her phone for a fitness app. The class is filled up by now and everyone has this expression of dread on their faces.  So I took action. Politely pulled the new teacher to the hallway as not to get stuck in the gravitational pull. Straight up looked at her right in the eyes and asked her if she wanted me to take over. Her eyes lit up like tangos on a apache attack helicopter. Yes.  First fucking thing I did was shuffle everyone around. Creatively herding the cattle into the South East corner of the room. I saw about a dozen huge smiles almost instantly the moment they got the fuck out of the way. Not a single one of them lasted past the 10 minute before collapsing. Largest of the 4 pretty much sat the entire hour even for cobra. COBRA. My grandmother can fucking do cobra. Or at least make some attempt. Oh and when they left one kicked over her cranberry juice. Yeah. That's not fucking water. It was the sweetened shit too. Like what the fuck?