Eating Bread makes Calories from Liquids Disappear! So last night I got together with some friends of mine from high school to have a couple drinks at home, all of my friends are human sized, mind you. One of these friends calls me up and says "hey, cheesewh0re, can I bring someone else along?"  And I tell her I'm totally cool with it as long as she doesn't steal my shit ( I've had friends bring friends over before in high school and they stole my moms jewelry).  Everyone comes over, and I notice my friends friend is medium fat with awful proportions. Big ol' FUPA, no boobs, and mega skinny chicken legs. It was like someone had placed a bowling ball on some chopsticks. I don't really care though, as she doesn't touch my stuff, and the night goes on joyfully.  Fast forward about an hour and every one starts bitching they're hungry, myself included. I don't have enough food in the house for Everyone So i suggest walking down to the local Subway restaurant to get some eats. Who would object to this? FUCKING chopstick ham.  "Oh that is far, I have a knee problem." So this fat idiot drives two fucking blocks because she has the knees. ( What else do you expect when you're balancing a dwarf planet on a couple toothpicks.) We all get there, order our stuff, and take a seat. I got a six inch which I cut in half again and split with a friend, chopstick ham got a footlong. So we're sitting peacefully eating our things when hammy says "Wow you only got a six inch and split it, you should have got a twelve inch it has more bread".  I tell her "I dont need a lot of bread, it just absorbs the alcohol anyway".  AND THIS FUCKING DUMB BITCH says to me "Well that's the best part about the bread, it absorbs the alcohol which has liquid calories that are absorbed into the bread so you can drink more alcohol without the extra calories".  What the fuck. I gagged on my sandwich, I didn't even know what to say to that. I gave my friend "that look" and excused my self from the table. Calories from liquids do not work like that. Most ridiculous fat logic I've ever heard. I'm guessing I'll never see her around anymore.