Anytime I've wandered into the couple of online incel forums that I'm aware of, they seem like they're plenty ashamed, though they appear to express that mainly as bitterness.  I don't think the incel movement normally holds pride parades or anything.  It's more of a wallowing in despair, like some angry, broken-down alcoholic who hates everyone going to a hole-in-the-wall bar to find others like himself so at least he won't be alone in hating everyone.  Of course this sort of behavior tends to reinforce the problem that led to it (of being a loser). They do, however, make it out to be something of an ideology.  They don't have pride parades, but they seem to muster up a certain amount of pride, in their alleged understanding of how things really are.  There's a narcissistic allure to thinking you can explain your failures by focusing all your attention on the details of how you got screwed over and how powerless you were to prevent it (but psh, at least you're smart enough to see what happened and how it happened, unlike those pathetic "normies"). The advice the dude in the video gives can't crack the more hardened incels; they've heard that stuff a thousand times before, and it'll mean especially little coming from a good-looking guy like that.  They have their stock counterarguments, like how HAES fans can dismiss CICO with some standard blather about starvation mode or whatever.  It's not obvious how one can convince somebody out of one of these cultish little groups that enshrine failure as some kind of ideal.