Adventures of a Medic #1: The Beached Obeast Several months ago I posted this story with my other account, but I wanted to change my name from something that wasn't  my Reddit one, since I've now moved on.  Given the feedback, I want to make a series out of them, since I've had a number of similar calls involving obeasts. So I am resubmitting it. I was reminded of this story by a post awhile back https://voat.co/v/fatpeoplehate/comments/561147 Side note: I've been an EMT for almost 10 years So a new place opened up about 20 minutes from where I was stationed, advertised as an "adult" playground. And no, not the bondage kind, you filthy animals. Anyways, one of the attractions of this place was a pit similar to that in the gif. It had multiple walls you could run on, flip off of, and trampolines to bounce onto. We'd been called a couple times for sprains and such, people thinking they could do parkour. No big deal. However, this call was much different.  As we arrived, the first thing we see is a foot sticking out of the pit. Around it was a group of people, and so we figured that was where the incident happened. Immediately upon arrival, I just said "oh shit" as I saw the foot. It was like this, no ankle in sight. You couldn't tell where the calf ended and the foot began. My partners saw this too, and all had about the same reaction. Before many people noticed us, we turned inward, and played a game of rock-paper-scissors. I've gotten to be an expert at it after all this time, so I was safe. My partner for the day (poor guy) had to head on in there. Our third partner headed out to call the fire department as I stood over to keep people back. He navigated his way pretty easily inside, calling out to the coachbison as he approached. There was a mixture of replies, like a T-Rex with mouthwash roaring. He got within 5 feet, and suddenly slipped, but was luckily able to catch him. He waved he was fine, but kept making a face that he was disturbed by something. After reaching the sausage leg, he came back over to me with his hand in front of his nose. I went aside with him, and noticed a rancid smell coming off of him Him: "Dude, there's no way."  Me: "How big? And what the fuck is that smell?"  Him: "Pushing 400 at least. He pissed and crapped himself after he fell. And was drinking a soda." I couldn't help but laugh, however I've learned to do is discreetly. Good thing too as about that time I heard a roar of similar sound from behind as the ground shook. A female(?) of at least 350 lbs. wobbled her way towards up, screaming at the top of her lungs. Drool glistened off her chin, mixed in with the glistening of grease and sweat on the rest of her face. She wore a tank top 2 sizes too small, and shorts she had no business wearing at all. "What're you all doin just standing around?! Why aren't you helping him?! He could die down there!" Me: "Ma'am, given the position he is in, there is nothing we can do. The fire dept will be here shortly, and they will help us get him out." "Aren't you all supposed to be strong? Just pull him out! He isn't that big! You are all just being lazy!" Fuck no. I am not risking my back, my safety, or that of my partner’s. Me: "As I said ma'am, given the positioning-" "You need to do your job! Stop being such a bitch and help him asshole! If you don't I'll be suing you and this place too!" Thankfully she said the magic word sue, and so that gave me an out. I brought up my phone to text my supervisor, letting him know the dirty 3 letter word had been said. Gave him a quick rundown of the situation. Me: "I'm going to give you a number to call, my supervisor, and he will answer your complaints." "Excuse me?! I am talking to you asshole! You are the one who needs to do something now!" By this time the fire dept showed up, and we briefed them on the situation. A look of horror and humor filled their faces. They radioed it about the time couchbisons mate came waddling out. "I was not done talking to you asshole! Don't ya run away from me!" The cops had come along with the fire dept, and took care of her. She tried to push past them, but they instead made sure she got comfortable with the curb. The fire dept played with the idea of how to get him out for awhile before finally make shifting the gurney to pull him out. We had to wait for 2 other trucks before we could finally get him up, since he'd gotten stuck somehow on the bottom. As he was being pulled, he was wobbling back and forth in a fit. Several of the new firefighters had to hold their breath cause of the smell. He'd been down there over an hour when we finally got him up. After the incident, they obviously had to shut it down to clean up the filth left behind. The police had to take a report of the situation, and so I collaborated on what I saw. The manager informed us that the paperwork they signed before hand specifically states that the pit is not made for individuals over 300 lbs, since it would not bounce right for them. The manager had explained this to them but they had grown upset at this "accusation". TL;DR - Fatties bounce backfired, causing him to piss and shit himself. Thanks to the ingenuity of fire fighters, the beached obeasts was rescued.