Oops. I shitlorded at work again. So my retraining is coming up. If you're out of the loop, check my submission history and get yourself caught up. All good? Okay, here we go. So it's a rather muggy day outside and inside the store we're doing inventory. This means a lot of climbing and slipping into hot and sweaty nooks and crannies. Uh, don't go there. Anyway, since I was the only one there that day who's weight and girth was not having a competition with a smart car, I ended up reaching into all of these forgotten spaces so we could accurately get an account of all the useless shit that was in the store. By the end of this, I was justifiably tired and sore. After a big fucking glass of nipple erection inducing water, I decided that I wanted some freezies.  So, off to the store I went (the convenience store in the same strip mall as my shop... yes, the one the fatties drive to). I came back with a whole box of frozen sugar and artificial flavouring and got an idea when I noticed my co-porkers faces swivel and salivate as if Pavlov himself had entered the store. Making a detour through the toy aisle, I grabbed a recorder from the shelf (yes, I paid for it after), unsheathed it (the recorder, not my...) and started tooting on it while walking towards the break room. As my co-porkers started following me, partly intrigued by my odd behaviour but mostly by the beetus which was in my possession, one of them finally spoke up. "Tuna? What the fuck are you doing?", one of the cheese rapists oinked. "Cosplaying the pied piper", I replied, "Seems like I'm doing a good job!" I, indeed, did a good job. The box of beetus was gone within minutes. I had the purple.