"You're so selfish!" I play the cello. It's mostly a hobby, but I was asked to play at a friend's wedding. Of course, I said yes.  The wedding is in Jamaica, so I had to fly. Like a reasonable person, since I require an extra seat for my cello, I bought one. (I don't want it to break, it was expensive) I paid for that seat. I can put my damn cello there. So I sit in my seat, put my cello next to me, and stick my headphones in. All of the sudden, this huge ass ham waddles up. It easily looked 350+ pounds. Was a female at some point. Just massive. It tries to wedge it's horrible blob form into the seat. It can't fit, since I have the armrest down where my cello is. "Can you move your case" it grunts out. I pulled my headphones out "No way. Is that your seat?" It looks stunned. "Well....no." I continued "Exactly. It's mine. I paid for it." Ham still looks stunned "I can't fit though." I shrugged. "Not my problem." Ham starts reeeing. "That's not fair! You're so selfish! What a bitch!" It turns to the flight attendant, but it was a full flight. Hammy had to take a different flight.