Thrift Boar I'm traversing the beautiful land of Australia this year and it's time to get a job. Needing some more suitable clothes for interviews (bikini top, high waisted short shorts, and sneakers ain't gonna cut it on a professional level) I decided to go to an op shop for some second hand gear. I have to save money for stuff like diving with whale sharks so I can't go to full priced shops, and thrift stores often have great stuff anyway. So a local friend and I are thrifting and the cashier in a very small shop is a fuckin tragedy. Huge gut, all slung down in a lazy, soft pear shape. Small chest, brightly coloured hair to try to draw your eyes away from the rest of it, to no avail. Looks like the one on the second-most right of this poor quality image Gross. So I get a good little haul, and pop behind the curtain across the room from the cashier's desk to try stuff on while my friend chats up the thrift boar and picks out necklaces at the counter. I overhear the conversation, of course, impossible not to in such a small place. They are talking about how much good stuff you can find in a second hand shop. Friend: "It's so good, hey, almost all my things are second hand now because you find the coolest stuff!" Thrift boar: "Yeah. Its just so hard to find clothes that fit." Friend: "Oh yeah, I usually have a pretty easy time [she's slim, fit, does martial arts and kickboxing] but the pants are always too short or too long." Thrift boar: "And being bigger makes it so hard. Plus all the women's clothes assume you have large breasts..."  I'm thinking, well, for one, human clothes don't tend to fit farm animals very well. And second, any breasts will be small compared to that gut. Now, to be honest, I hadn't really noticed the boar's proportions until after I overheard this. I tend to overlook fatties in general unless they're in my way so I don't typically notice those things. But they were confirmed when I left the change room and made a point to look. Sad, soft pear. I'm also thinking, ooh, shitlording opportunity. So by now I've donned a slim, long, fitted black jumper. It hugs my body all the way down my hips, boatneck, long sleeves which is a shocker cause at 5'11 i don't typically get long sleeves. It makes me look that much slimmer and taller and with a 32D pushup underneath I'm rocking this thing (wearing it for bar/pub applications tomorrow wish me luck!) Just as the thrift boar finishes complaining about how impossible it is to find nice clothes for its body shape, I whip open the curtain and do a little spin for my friend. Me: "Hey [friend] how about this one?" She gets all excited, "It's made for you!" Me: "Good for job hunting?" Friend: "Aw yeah!!! How much?" I check the tag and continue the conversation, but as I catch a glimpse at thrift boar's face and it looks so downtrodden that it almost has no energy left to be sad. Pretty much this. I prance back into the the change room and do the same thing with a cute little strapless sundress, turning myself around and showing myself off under the guise of looking for the tag to do a price check. I'm almost never so full of myself because I consider myself perfectly average in the looks department, but I do know when I look good and when it's for shitlording purposes I will break out of my typically shier comfort zone for the greater good. Plus, it was so satisfying. The thrift boar got really quiet after that and seemed to hastily drop the subject, and the classic fake "welcome to my store please buy things" smile was dropped for the remainder of our browsing session. To top it off I was super sweet and cheerful to the thrift boar, complimenting the store and making pleasant conversation, because nothing kills a ham more than someone who is as lovely on the inside as they are on the outside. It breaks their image that pretty people have no substance, which makes hams feel more valuable in comparison. That image needs to be broken. TL;DR: Shitlording by existing is the best!