247f   You're right. Thank you for that, I really appreciate the sentiment. I think it hurts because we were together a long whiles - nearly three years -and we loved one another deeply. But it turned into something unhealthy. And instead of him being willing or able to work on that, he settled for a shitty unhealthy life.  I guess my perspective on it as a former fat kid is pretty interesting. I can understand what it's like to grow up with shitty habits and how profoundly hard it is to change one's thinking too. It is really difficult and I have a tremendous amount of empathy for anyone who goes through a change like that because it is hard.  But it's possible too. So for me, it was doubly frustrating because he was healthy, developed shitty habits and then, decided he couldn't be arsed to deal with it. I'm gonna train for that half marathon I want to run. I'm cool with 10ks, and because of the health issues I have (I have a brain tumour) I know I'll need to take it steady and careful on working towards a half marathon. So I'm gonna work on that. The really pathetic thing is, we live in separate cities and I've been busy with work and Uni, so I really didn't build much of a social life where I live when I moved here last year. But I have a chance to do that now and it'll be easier now I no longer have to worry about going to see him.  Sorry for the rambly shit post, but thank you for the reply.