Sounds like my mom. She does that with money and buying me things. Gets very offended when I refuse them, but as an adult I don't want to babied, I want to buy my own things hah.  Sadly she's falling into the obesity(5'10" 200) category no matter how much I help, even commenting on me eating too little now. When she shamed me into losing weight, I don't get why she doesn't listen to herself, she already just continuously insults herself. It's pretty sad watching your family kill itself because they have no will power and are a prime example of not taking responsibility for their actions. She even does that shit with salads where it's a soup too it's so gross.  I got lucky and she stopped making me eat things I didn't want or like (cake being one) after I puked on her one time hah.  Also happy late birthday, I'm sorry fat narcissists ruined it. Just don't let it get to you too much, brush it off and keep going you'll be out someday and you won't deal with it again. Just keep thinking of the end goal and work towards getting out.