Today at work, my elevator gave up (long) Hello FPH. I don't come here much except for a giggle here and there, but today I have a story for ya  So I was the only employee on duty when this happened. I get a call from my elevator saying, "we're trapped", "it's hot in here", and shit. I just say, "Oh jeez. Don't worry, lemme make a call real quick." The lady made a comment about the lack of surprise in my voice, and asks if this has happened before. Nope (lie). I call the fire department.  2 relatively normal sized teens, who took the stairs, were waiting outside the elevator. When I told them what happened, the response was, "We TOLD them it was a bad idea." I said something like, "yeah, they should listen to you more."  FD arrives and opens the elevator door. The car is stuck about 4 feet off the ground (they were coming down from the 2nd floor). The team asks me to grab a ladder so they can start helping people out. I did because I'm a good fucking helper btw. I'm counting the people as they're helped out of the car, as I see more or less what I expected.  Rather than waiting, or worse- taking the stairs, TEN hams had decided to cram themselves in, with 5 small children.  Bear in mind the capacity of this elevator is 2400lbs. Their faces ranged from annoyed, to scared, to ashamed.  But they thank everybody for the help and take off. Ms. Piggy declares that she would like to get in touch with my manager on the way out. Pretty smooth so far.  One of the guilty stops by my desk later. 230 lbs, blond.  It's Ms. Piggy. "So what was wrong with the elevator??"   ... "It had too many people in it."  "Uh, I don't think so, we added up our weight while we were in there. We weren't even close, like 1800..." I pull out a pen and paper and start asking questions. She says 10 adults with an average weight of "200." And by "average" she must have meant MINIMUM, because there's no fucking way. Kids average 70. I show her we're already at 2350 lbs. Just 50 lbs shy of the max, even by her delusional estimates. "But we still could have fit more people on there! It's not like it was totally full!" I should have asked then, "Why did two of your party take the stairs?"  She again bugs me about seeing my manager, probably she's after some compensation. I just smile and say I'll see what I can do. Which reminded me to call him.  On the phone with the boss and he asks for their info. To my delight, he wants to send them a fucking bill for the elevator repair!  I don't know how far that will go, honestly, but I'm glad he's not kissing blubber over this. These fatties put my elevator out of order for an hour, and made my day way too exciting.  Oh, and while the elevator was broken down, at least 2 disabled people had to go up 3 flights of stairs.   And remember how I lied about this never happening before? Yes, last time it was fatties too.  RREAAAAGHGHHHH FAT PEOPLE  Thus concludes my story. Thank you for reading PSA: if you're big enough to be your own waterbed, please take some responsibility for your health, and roll yourself down the stairs