Herpes sucks but it really isn't as bad as everyone seems to think it is. I have a friend with it, and she says she's had two outbreaks in 7 years, and you really can only catch it when you have an outbreak. The chances of all the symptoms you described are so very rare.  As for HPV, it's WAY more common and a huge  62dc   population has that too, but most don't even know. Guys rarely show any symptoms of it and have no idea they have it. I have it. I didn't even get it from sex, It came with a transplanted kidney but it was discussed with my drs beforehand and the trade off seemed ok. I had one outbreak once in 5 years and that was it. It's not that bad.  As for you Mr. Monkeytennis, your post comes off as super judegy and very misinformed.  And yes I tell people my sister gave me an STD for the lols.