Made a fatty-boom-boom reeee by simply existing. I am fortunate enough to go to a college that is in a beautiful town (complete with a farmer's market! <3). After training, I went to the local coffee shop and bumped into an acquaintance I know through class. This guy is very fit and decent looking. We begin talking about schoolwork when I hear footsteps an earthquake behind me. Fatty storms up to us.  Fatty: REEEEE!! WHO IS THIS?! -while staring at me- Beta: This is R. We have class together. R, this is my girlfriend. Me: Seriously. This girl was pushing 300 pounds and dressed in one of those miniskirt x uggs combos, showing off cottage cheese legs. The entire time I was there, it kept staring at me and whining about how it wanted to go. (But they are sooo happy with their lives, right?) As they were leaving, it whined about a 30 minute walk to campus. Tldr: First time shitlording an acquaintance's pet pig, simply by existing.