Ever Shitlord  a friend? I have once and it was on accident but funny as fuck.   In college we had this friend Ian. He was a huge fat ass and he had a fat girlfriend. But him being fat wasn't really an issue, the issue was that he was a fucking asshole. He'd say racist shit all the time thinking it's funny. When our buddy was sick he refused to roll the window down but it escalated to the point where our buddy was begging for him to roll the window down and fat ass was screaming at him no. He'd invite himself along when we went places. He'd steal our food off our plates when we went out to eat. He would fucking do shit like eat the cheese off the wrapper of ANOTHER friends burger he just finished. Have us take him to get fast food at night and use his fat gut like a table while eating..yeah the fucking burger just sat there, that's how big his gut was.  The dude was seriously unpleasant but he was pseudo-friends with another one of our friends when they went to high school so he kinda forced himself into our group.  He had us help him move one time. Moved his mattress and it was damp and smelled like wet pig. I'm not exaggerating.  This fucking thing smelled HORRIBLE.   His gf was fat to but she was nice enough. Nowhere near as abrasive as he was. She kept him in check half the time so things were more chill when she was around. But because we hated Ian so much we also ridiculed her along with him behind their backs. We called him "The Fat Pig" and we called her "The Fat Cow".  We did this all the time to the point it wasn't joking or to be funny anymore it was their de facto names when they weren't around. Didn't even think about it. Well one day the fat pig was talking with us and I accidentally said "So did you and the fat cow go see that movie?" and I immediately realized what I did the instant I finished my sentence. All my friends jaws hit the floor and it was dead silent. The pig tried to act like it didn't bother him. Lol I excused myself and left.  Didn't talk to the fat pig ever again. Lol he avoided me and talked shit about me all the time the next few years but I didn't have to deal with his shit again. I mean I felt bad but I kinda didn't. Both their fat asses eventually went on Jenny Craig and lost a ton of weight and I'm pretty certain my outburst was the impetus to get it all started. I'm responsible for  adding a fucking decade to that assholes life, so to him "You're welcome you fucking asshole" and to everyone else that has to deal with him assuming he's still an asshole "I'm soooo sorry."