My shitlord awakening story I've ment on here a couple times that I had stomach surgery as a result of a stomach obstruction that caused me vomit everything I ate until I got surgery. I was in middle school at the time and my English teacher made all her students write me a " get well soon" letter as part of an assignment. I was a twig before but now I was an emaciated mofo, even after a month of rehab. So, on my first day back, there's this spherical lard bucket that's sitting next to me and he, while shoveling candy in his mouth, says "what's weightloss surgery like?"  Me: "I didn't have weightloss surgery. There was a problem with my stomach" Lard o' Lakes: "You can tell me if you got it. Girls have to stay thin if they want a man." *rubs his belly Me: "And boys shouldn't be spheres" All of dialogue is paraphrased, since it happened ten years ago. But the gist is correct.