Am I hiking? Or am I at Walmart? My boyfriend and I went hiking at a local spot which had recently been hit by huge storms. We were therefore prepared for exploratory detours and unfamilar territory. We ran into quite a few fatties on the mainstream, well-maintained trails. But this most recent fatass takes the cake for the trashiest one yet. We were unfortunate enough to be stuck behind a small family unit, two parents and one rambunctious child. I ran into toddlers often, but this one had been exceptionally rowdy. He yelled frequently at annoyingly high pitches, and ran in multiple aimless directions.  This would be a little less shocking if not for the fact we were tracing a narrow path on high grounds. The child stumbled at the edge of the cliff at one point. Only the dad, the lesser fat of the unit, reproached him noncommittally. The mom, a typical obeast with bad tattoos and poor choice in hair dye, had been smoking cigarettes while she waddled. I'm not a tree-hugging fanatic but I respect the protected lands. Plus I just fucking hate smokers in general.  I muttered darkly about it under my breath to my boyfriend, wishing I had brought my phone to record the spectacle, and possibly inform the park management. I'm sure there'd be a rule against smoking at the park. It's a nature walk, not a pit stop at gas station. Suddenly, a wild cigarette pack appeared! It leapt out of her pocket and directly onto the ground.  I snapped, loud enough for her to hear if she would pay attention to anyone besides herself, "Really?!" My boyfriend bent forward to pick it up, and called out to her. "You dropped something." She briefly glanced at him to express her gratitude and repocket it, but I doubt she didn't notice. My boyfriend slyly joked, "That would've caused some drama for everyone if you lost it." "Oh crap, yeah." Said in the most trailer park trash manner without turning to face him. We finally came to a fork in the path and split. Thank God. We didn't see her again. I doubt she lasted long. The non-mainstream trails are not meant for fatties. I hope she tripped and fell tbh.