Never ever get a fat roommate I'll try and make this short but it's really a chronicle of fuckery going back to last summer. I originally had two roommates who were good friends of mine. They didn't make a mess, respected space and were all around good roommates. We lived in a four bedroom house and needed one more person to make our rent less expensive so we got this girl who ended up being a complete piece of shit roommate and generally a shitty human being. Eventually my one roommate left because he didn't like her (not that anyone else did) and he wanted to go back home to save money. Fair enough. So the roommate who is on the lease, we'll call Ron, makes a post on kijiji looking for a fourth person to bring our rent back down. I went on a trip and when I came back I met the new roommate Dave. Dave was fat, I'd say probably pushing 350 lbs. If I had any say, Dave would have never lived with us. Dave was also gay. Me and Ron are both fit and straight so there was a bit of a clash of interests there.  At first it was as expected and nothing too out of the ordinary. Dave lived on the third floor so it was kind of funny hearing him huffing and puffing trying to walk up the stairs. Then the hacking started. Every fucking day all all hours all you would hear was "haayucckkk" and gagging noises coming from his room and when he would take a shower and even when you would tell him to stop he would still do it.  Next was the mess. He left all his shit everywhere. Uncleaned dishes, half eaten food boxes, candy wrappers. He was a fucking mess of a human being who did not know how to clean up after himself. He'd hack his disgusting spit all over the shower and leave garbage everywhere and the combination of his mess and our other roommate who was even messier led to having a mouse infestation. He was also extremely noisy. I honestly couldn't tell if he was wearing shoes in the house or he was just so fat that it sounded like he was and being that his room was right above mine it was annoying and I constantly had to tell him to shut the fuck up. So last month me and Ron decided enough was enough and dropped a bomb on our shitty roommates. The lease was up and we didn't tell them so we ditched them with no where to go because fuck them. Dave then decided to send Ron a series of extremely creepy text messages. The first one saying that we didn't walk around the house shirtless nearly as much as we were supposed to. (this dude would frequently walk around without pants, it was fucking nasty and when I brought a girl and made out with her in front of him he was visibly upset) He also told Ron to feel free to send him shirtless pics any time and had the audacity to tell Ron that he would watch me in my window sometimes when I changed. If I ever see that fat fuck again I wouldn't hesitate to punch him in the face. This is a guy who works with children and he behaves like this. Even If I was gay I wouldn't touch you're nasty greasy fat ass with my worst enemy's dick. Good riddance