My first accidental shitlording at work So I work at a thrift store.  All of the fattest people that I've seen in real life have been customers at this store, I guess the hams are drawn to our establishment by our large selection of decorative tarps.  Anyway we sell clothes as well as bed linens. The bed sheets are a pain in the ass because it takes forever to find the tag on them when I'm cashing people out. So this deathfat approaches my cash register with a couple of bedsheets in hand.  As I rummage through the sheets looking for the tag I make awkward cashier small talk to the beast. I said something along the lines of "Man these bedsheets are a pain in the butt! It takes so long to find the tag!"  The fats demeanor suddenly changed as she looked at me very seriously and said, "those are skirts." It took everything within my power not to burst out laughing.