Crisco tankers at the movies I just went to see the latest Star Wars movie, and it was ruined by the lard goblins.  I generally avoid going to the movies because of fats.  After the theater was completely full, a ham sat in the seat next to mine, and sadly the packed theater left me nowhere to move.  Its lard was squishing beneath the arm rest and oozing halfway across my seat.  I pointed out that it was in my seat, and the fucker had the nerve to tell me that I was skinny and didn't need all of it, therefore it shouldn't have to move its disgusting roll back onto its side.  I left to complain, but sadly the manager weighed at least 400 pounds, so that was a losing argument.  I ended up watching the entire movie standing in the aisle. Just like on planes, in the theaters, fats should have to buy two seats.  If the armrests don't raise, they shouldn't be allowed in the theater at all.  On second thought, they just shouldn't be allowed in the theaters to start with.  All they do is stink up the theater and munch on their snacks loudly and nonstop so you can't hear the movie.