Military Hams #3 Due to a slight wine induced error, I can't get back into my origional account, but Brodin calls for me to regale you with a further tale of military hams. For those not familiar with my previous posts links are supplied to catch you up.  Military hams and the second part Now, I'm aware I said I don't come across hams all that often, however apparently the adipose hivemind New Years resolution wasn't to join a gym, it was to destroy my beloved Army. In the last week everywhere I look there are floppy hair fat fucks straining against their incorrectly worn uniforms.  One in particular, Woodham, has grabbed my attention. Woodham is an idiot. Woodham is also in the low end of the overweight/obese overlap. Woodham obviously learned everything he needed to know from horrendous movies because shouting, "Corporal on deck" doesn't quite enamour you to the British Army. Woodham managed to get himself lost from the centre of a squad and end up on the other end of camp. Woodham will probably go looking for sweets and end up in a Russian minefield one day. Woodham also shit himself. Woodham was conducting a mile and a half best effort run, and was very much at the back. Well into failing territory. Woodham was being encouraged by a shitlord NCO. The following conversation is verbatim. WH: "Swolemedic, I'm going to shit myself" SM: "You'll have to hold it, you should have shit before you started" WH: silence, starts to waddle  SM:"have you just shit yourself? You fucking horrible little cunt. Keep running. You ...." Conversation dissolves into disgusted cursing, screams of disbelief and bemoaning human evolution.  The best part? 20 minutes later after (failing of course) the run, he was still stood in shitty clothes because he didn't mention to anyone else he'd shit himself. Swolemedic had to go bleach his brain.  By all accounts, after a week of i interaction, Woodham is idle, idiotic, slow and a liability. And he piles his plate with shit every meal.