Dollar Store Scootypuff Sadly my hands were full during our interaction, so no pics, but SWEET JESUS I saw my very first mayo gendered butter golem in a scootypuff today! I live in NYC, so we don't have a Walmart, and though I live near a KMart, I've yet to see any there. Anyhow, this is what happened... I was in dire need of a new coffee press, so I went to the nice dollar store in town- it's big, clean, and they have lots of great stuff for cheap. I get what I need, and walk back up to the front by the registers. And, of course, I get distracted by a big nail polish display. So I squat down and start browsing, and I hear what sounds like a really energetic old lady behind me, asking the girl at the register if they have "those veggie bags that keep your produce fresh up to five times longer" blah blah. Then something about batteries, and I'm thinking jeez, this is one of those old ladies that never shuts up! I stand up and turn around, ready to check out, and OH MY GOD. IT HAD THE BIGGEST FUPA I'VE EVER SEEN!!! Not only that, it was BELTED INTO IT'S SCOOTYPUFF! This is where I became unsure of its gender: Short hair, neutral facial features, not sure if there were tits, US Veteran baseball hat, and it started taking about its WIFE! The kicker was when it asked me to put its purchase in the bag on the back of its scooter, because it "didn't feel like getting up." Took all my willpower not to yell "Maybe that's why you're so fucking fat, because you NEVER GET UP!" but I restrained myself. As soon as I checked out, I dashed outside in the hopes of getting a picture now that my hands were free, but alas, it was gone :-(  I literally feel like I met a unicorn today, you guys!