I haven't actually heard anything from the Dr; my appointment is this morning. First one since I was a teenager; I haven't been able to afford it; difficult to work enough to save enough for an appt and whatnot when you can't walk sometimes, quite the conundrum, lol. I definitely get what you're saying, and logically it's not bad advice, but there is a very real fear and pain, especially being 21 and unable to walk some days and totally on my own in the world, with a condition that, at least in my family, has always just declined like crazy. Maybe one day I can see the searing pain and immobility as good, but.. not for now. I am hopeful that treatment will help, but that's a daunting proposition financially as well. It's a whole situation, lol. Just trying to be hopeful.  Very much appreciate the support and advice, though! I'll look into that meditation if things don't improve on the physical front.