Open letter to the two hams at my restaurant tonight. When you asked my servers if you could use the lounge couch because our tables are too small and giggled, it was not cute.  When you decided to place all of your food on our fucking decorative couches, not cute.  When you tried to flirt with our amazingly handsom shitlord server, he came to me and could not stop laughing.  And lastly. When you left enough food all over the floor and table, that was fucking gross. Please have some self respect Or at least don't come eat at my place.