Fats always wear those types of glasses because they think it makes them look 'quirky, tee-hee!' It's like how they dye their hair, or cover themselves with tattoos.  Newflash: adding additional things to your body is NOT going to distract anyone from your three front-butts. Also, I pity all the thin tattoo artists who have to work on hams. If pigs want to get branded, they should go to the farm where they belong, rather than making humans colour in their back-tits.