'Twas the night after Christmas... …and all throughout the room, not a creature was stirring…except for my obese roommate. It’s literally the night after Christmas, and I wake-up to find him eating my leftovers from home. I sat-up in bed, bewildered at the sight of my exceedingly overweight and grotesque creature of a roommate literally using his hands to scoop up mashed potatoes to shove down his gaping maw.  Let's call my roommate "Dances-with-Beetus", for he will be the topic of many sad, horrifying tales. Where has /v/fatpeoplehate been all my life?