Shitlorded a fatty at the pet store today So I was at the pet store looking for some beetus for our new kitten today, and suddenly I heard a great rumbling noise. I spun around to see an enormous butter chugger of indeterminate gender rolling right up to me on its scootypuff and oh shit its looking at me too.  "HEY" It screeched. "PASS ME DAT BAG OF PURINA I CAN'T REACH CUZ I GOTS A DISUHBILTY" I was about to walk away in disgust, but then I had an idea. I picked up one of those extra huge cans of dog food and hit the lard-gargler in the temple as hard as I could, sending out a spray of greasy beetus-blood on impact. The hamplanet crashed to the floor, probably the fastest it had moved in its life, the force of the impact causing the merchandise on the shelves to rattle violently. I stood over its monstrous head as it lay there in a daze, its pathetic piggy eyes rolled back in their swollen sockets. I jammed the bloodied can of dog food in its mouth as far as I could, then, brought my boot down on it with all my strength. With a sickening crunch as fatties jaw tore apart, blood and bits of its already decayed teeth came pouring out of its maw. I picked up my kitten food and headed off to the gym for an extra long workout before going home.