Shitlord doctor Went for an annual physical.  Had blood drawn to check for condishuns in muh thyroid.  My symptom is not that I've ballooned to the size of a male walrus, but rather being cold all the goddamned time (particularly in the feet area). I told the doc that even if I have a condishun I might not be willing to take meds if they have side effects that might impact my athletics.  He was trying to convince me that I should treat it and he used the example of the beetus.  He said: Suppose you have the beetus.  What do you do about it? Me: Not get it in the first place. He laughed.   Smart man.  But now you have it... what do you do? Me: Put down the fucking fork and lose some goddamned weight. He chuckled and said: Sorry I guess that was a bad example. I then consoled him that we live in a world where the illness that was on the tip of his tongue was not something like "the flu" but rather "the beetus."  He said that he sees it more and more these days, it's almost becoming the number 1 thing he treats.  I said "but you specialize in sports medicine" and his face became solemn and he said, "there's no business in sports medicine anymore.  Nobody does sports."  What a sad goddamned world. Fuck fats. Edit: also saw my first bariatric chair IRL.  The double wide in the waiting room.  My entire family could fit on that chair.