Hams at the Hardware store I know I've posted a lot today, but HOLY SHIT. I just got back from the hardware store to get some adhesive and random crap for my workshop, and in front of me at checkout was the hamlord of all hams. The bitch looked like she needed a wheeled fucking pallet to get around the place. And what was she buying, you ask? A multi-function shower: it has a hippo-sized sprinkler on top, a fold-rinsing handheld sprayer, and get this: three below-the-belt showerheads to, and I quote, "Get those spots I can't reach, ma."  WHO THE FUCK SAYS THAT IN PUBLIC.  I'm trying to find the thing on Lowes right now, but fuck me if I can't find it. Anyways, I laughed out loud when I heard her say that, and she and her obese mother looked at me with that how-dare-you glare that fats can barely express through their beetus-bloated faces.