An unintentionally roasted ham. So earlier today I went to my favorite sandwich place to get some lunch. I told the girl what I wanted and she gave me the obligatory "would you like to add chips, a drink and cup o' soup for another $3.99?" It was tempting, but I said no because I don't eat more than I need to when I'm hungry. So without thinking, I said "I think I'm gonna be good today. Gotta watch this girlish figure, y'know." It's just one of my casual go-to jokes I enjoy using every so often. She chuckles for a split second and then goes completely quiet and looks away. I thought for a second I offended her, so I just paid quickly and stepped off to the side, and standing behind me was an enormous ham with a hamlet in tow, glaring daggers at me as it stepped up to order. All I could do was grin like an idiot.  The fat ended up ordering a combo for itself and one for the hamlet anyway.