Fatty told me to "watch my weight gain". Like fire. Hellfire. You know that fucking amazing song from The Hunchback of Notre Dame, where Frollo (the villain) is singing about his inner demons in front of a fireplace with cloaked figures in the background being spooky as shit as he contemplates his lust for a gypsy? I'm not, like, going through a deeply religious internal struggle right now, and I'm not exactly lustin' after a gypsy, but the lyrics played through my head while the fatty chastised me. "Like fire, hellfire, this burning in my soul." Or something like that.  So I think I once before mentioned a fat girl in my hall. She's a Tumblrina-looking type, with the excessive body piercings that screech I'M DIFFERENT AND I DEMAND THAT YOU NOTICE MY INDIVIDUALITY!. I hate her from within the deepest crevices of my soul. Not even fifteen minutes ago, I'm in my friend's common room lamenting the fact that I've gained five pounds in two weeks (it's of course my fault, I have a bingeing issue and fleeting self control, and I'm immediately rectifying it. I'm still very human sized: 5'3" and 116 lbs. I just hate myself for slipping up). Buzzfeed Blimp was in one of the adjacent rooms, apparently eavesdropping like the cretin she is, and after hearing me say this she waddles out and looks me up and down. "Wow, I didn't know five pounds could make such a big difference!" she says. I'm very open about my disdain for her, so I'm sure this was a purposeful attempt to piss me off. It worked.  "Well, yeah, I mean, it's almost 5% of my body weight, of course it's gonna make a difference..." I feel like total shit, and I'm never in a position to come up with a good comeback anyway. Keep in mind that Blimpy Buttcrack is easily double my weight at a similar height.  "You should try a juicing diet," the doomed Hindenburg responds. "I've already lost ten pounds on it, in like, a week. It's amazing." "Wow, ten pounds, that's quite the feat," I say. "It's so sad, though; I can't see a difference." It's kinda fun having Blimp live two rooms away. She makes me feel a bit better about my weight gain, since at least I know that she'd have to shed my entire body weight to become human again. Still, fuckin' hellfire.