Offended a gallery ham So I'm treating myself to a museum day and found a nice exhibition in one of the art galleries with Fredrick Strange paintings. I tend to get restless if I stand for too long so to examine the pieces I sort of rock side to side a little, shifting my weight from foot to foot. The floors are wooden and very old, and as old wooden floors do they creak and pop underneath when you walk so to avoid annoying everyone by rocking my weight on a creaky board I'd adjust where I was stepping. There are only a handful of others in here right now but courtesy never hurts.  Anyway, I stepped on the wrong floorboard and it made a loud POP which was further amplified by the acoustics in this room. It surprised me and the human sized lady standing next to me and we both jumped at the noise. We stared at each other for a moment, and to break the awkward tension I patted my flat tummy and said "maybe I should have skipped breakfast this morning!" She laughed and I laughed because everyone likes a bit of dry self deprecating humour, but when I turned around to move to a different painting I caught the major stink eye of a ham who was clearly unimpressed with the exchange. It looked me up and down and made an audible "ugh" before waddling off, creating a symphony of stressed timber with every step.  Fuck off sourpuss, just because you have no sense of humour doesn't mean we normal folk can't have fun.