Delusional fat thinks the casino owes it $3300 [warning: long. Probably worth it, tho] So this happened a couple days ago. As I've said before in previous posts, I'm a pit boss at a small casino in Canada. Anyone who's been to a casino knows that braindead hams (braindeathfats? Lol) fucking love slots, because it involves so little physical and mental effort on their part. Put the money in and press the fucking button, no "complex" (and I use that term loosely cuz most people's "strategies" at the tables are fucking retarded too) strategies or rules required. So I see this fucking disgusting Quasimodo looking ham wheeling it's Scootypuff up to a slot machine pretty close to the tables. The only reason I even notice is because this particular lard barge is the "sister" of one of the dealers I supervise that I've written about before, a fat fucking useless sack of shit. His name is Brett, and he's easily the worst dealer I have. He can't deal any of the sit down games (baccarat, poker) because his Fupa is so big that he physically can't reach across the table. The fucking moron who hired him was fired for incompetence less than a year after he was put through, but the new manager is also a ham so you know how it is. Can't fire someone for being fat even if they can't do their fucking job.  We have to help him along and "coach" him through his difficulties. They tried to get him on baccarat, but he couldn't reach some of the bets and had to ask people to push their losing bets toward him so he could collect them.  Wtf. I went to my manager and said "if I was in a casino and lost a big bet and the dealer asked me to push it forward so they could reach it, I would tell them to fuck off."  Guess what, a few weeks later some Chinese guy lost a pretty big bet and lardass asks him to push it forward so he could collect it and Chinese guy LOSES IT. But hey, what do I know Anyway, its fucking retarded "sister" rolls in to play slots pretty close to the pit. I look over after a while and notice that it spilled its glass of beetus all over the front of the slot machine and and the floor, and it hasn't even bothered to tell anyone or even fucking pick the glass up off the floor. On top of that, I notice a bunch of garbage in a concentric circle around it, including a few shitty scratch tickets, a bag of chips, a single lime, and a fucking Kleenex. Fucking inconsiderate piece of shit hams, what the fuck. I page housekeeping to the slot bank, but since it's not that busy and there's 2 pit bosses I decide to go give her shit. "Spilled your drink there eh?" It mumbles a yaaaa "Well next time can you let someone know so we can get it cleaned up? And also, don't throw your garbage on the floor. There's a garbage can right there" point to one maybe 8 feet away She says something really slowly and mumbly through its fat folds about the garbage being there before It got there "Umm, no. No it wasn't, ma'am (lol ma'am ). I saw you throw it on the floor from over there. Just don't do it again or I'm gonna have to call security." It grumbles something I can't make out. Whatever. I go back to the pit and watch the housekeeper try to clean up its mess while it sits there playing and doesn't even bother to fucking try to move out of the way. The housekeeper (a shitlady I really like and have had many great conversations with) gets pissed within 30 seconds and sternly tells it to gtfoutta the way. Ham sighs and lazily wheels itself barely out of the way.  I end up doing some other shit for a while, counting the trays, bullshiting with some players, and dealing roulette for 15 minutes to give a dealer a break before taking my own break.  Maybe an hour and a half later I glance back and notice that's it's fucking asleep. Awesome, falling asleep in a casino is basically always an automatic ejection; because either you're too drunk or too tired to be there. I call security and they come wake its ass up, and it immediately starts wailing about how we owe it $3300. Security has no idea wtf it's talking about, so they call the slot shift manager. Shift manager comes over and politely informs it that no, no one owes you $3300. It starts wailing even louder. Afterwards, me, the slot manager, and security talk about it, and none of us even have any idea where it could have gotten the idea that we owed it $3300. Nothing on the slot machine history gave any indication the it could have even mistakenly believed that, such as it winning 3300 credits on a 1 cent machine or something similar. It seemed to have just pulled that number out of thin fucking air. It then went on a rambling, delusional rant about "calling the health board" (???? Lol about an issue with a slot machine? Fats are so dumb) and at one point saying something about Pictionary. I was thinking (hoping?) that it was having a stroke, but no such luck.  Security asks it to leave, and it refuses. Security would rather not call the cops because it's a lot of paperwork and the cops always take forever, so they ask my manager to call its brother Brett. Brett takes probably about as long as the cops would've taken to get there, and the retarded butter ball sister still refuses to leave until it "gets its money." Security tells it that it can leave with Butter Barge Brett or with the cops. It finally agrees, but not before screaming that it has to go to the bathroom first where it takes a 25+ minute shit.  Fucking fats. What the fuck