So I'm going on a family vacation. Ham Aunt will be there... [RANT] And when I say "Ham" I mean HAM. Aunt Ham is pushing 400 pounds, lives off the government with no inclination of becoming self-reliant*, the whole package. But it's not enough that she's planetary; as is the Fat Way, she's also made both of my cousins useless and fat. I shit you not, when we were younger they told me they couldn't run around with my athletic siblings and me because they were allergic to the sun. (Spoiler: they have no such medical condition.) There's no doubt in my mind my aunt fed (lol) them these lies so she wouldn't have to walk down the flight of stairs to their apartment playground. I haven't seen them in like 9 years, but I really doubt they were able to break through the fat. Anyway, the reason my family is making the trip is for my grandparents' anniversary. It's a big one and they're old. My parents are throwing the whole thing for them including an expensive venue, a fancy menu, a wedding-size cake, the decor, literally everything. They didn't want my grandparents to spend a cent. Everyone is paying their own way (including shitlord boyfriend and myself) and all that. The only thing grandparents are providing is a place to sleep. Well guess who decided to blow her rent money this month on extra calories? Fatass Aunt. Guess who was the only one who couldn't afford to drive to Grandparents' house? Fatass Aunt. Guess who is fucking almost 50 years old and is still crawling to her octogenarian parents for cash? Fat. Ass. Aunt. Because my grandparents are the sweetest people you'll ever meet (and my aunt is a master guilt-tripper) they foot the bill. They want the family together and don't want anyone to miss out or be sad. Thus Fatass Aunt and her young moons will be in attendance.  Ugh. I'll definitely be updating once we get there, as the upside of this little trip is it happens to be in a warm climate. This means Shitlord BF, Athletic Siblings and I will be prancing around in swimsuits and booty shorts. Anyone want to guess how many times we'll hear "Eat a sandwich" or "You're just lucky you've got good genes"? I'll be keeping track. TLDR: Don't be fat, don't make your kids fat, don't ask for money from your 80 year old parents.   This is not to say I think everyone on government assistance is worthless. I'm referring to my fatass aunt and only her.