Pool Monstrosity So I went to the pool to swim laps today and I chose the deep end since there was a thousand kids and usually only the serious lap swimmers go to the deep end(not like bad or good swimmers just there to work out and not bother anyone). I'm swimming along peacefully and the water in the shallow end is quite smooth until suddenly it begins to shake. I'm knocked off my freestyle course by this pounding of something very heavy approaching the pool. I stop at the end and pause my garmin and look up to see a full on planet huffing and puffing toward the lane next to mine. She was easily 350-400 pounds, had pink dreads and an ironman 70.3 swim cap( fats try to relay all the time, they get the cap either way). She spends about 10 minutes sitting down on the edge of the pool talking to anyone near her. She has a giant fast food soda cup which she set on the side of the pool before getting in. I continue swimming and do 100 yards before she even begins swimming, if you can call it that. She sort of floated on her back and kind of moved her arms towards the other end of the pool. I swam another 100 yards in the time it took her to get to the other end of the pool. I was taking another break at one point while she was at the end near her beetus juice and I saw her attempt to grab it. Alas, it was too far away and she couldn't hoist herself up to get it(I have no idea how she got out of the pool). She asked a complete stranger who was sitting on the bleachers about 20 feet away to COME OVER AND HAND IT TO HER. Then she proceeded to flirt with this poor guy who was clearly just watching his little brother swim. I pegged her at like 40 so she's probably 25 and the guy she was flirting with was definitely no older than 18.   I finished my 1550 yards and got the fuck out of there. This is why you're not supposed to eat before you swim.