First off, the entitlement ("you say you're rejecting me because of X, but I'm not X, so you're an asshole!") is bs.  But worst part of the entitlement is the expectation that you have to reward someone with a relationship for "trying hard." Glad you're trying if you are, honest, but mah dick is not brownie points.  Person A: "Why don't you want to date me?" Person B: "It's just I want someone who shares my sense of humor" (aka: I want a man who's not miserable and serious all the time) Person A: "Well, first of all, I go to the comedy club about 9 hours a week. I bust my ass writing jokes and getting new material. And by the way, when I was trying to become a comedian, and spending my savings to travel to three new comedy clubs a day, I still wasn't able to make anyone laugh. My whole family is like this."  (repeat for cuteness, repeat for intelligence, repeat for financial success) Obese people, if it really is so hard for you (psychological addiction, etc., I'll admit it's possible) well that sucks. But my life and my attention is not a social asset that can be redistributed for utilitarian purposes. Even feminism itself, friend of HAES, admits this elsewhere (for example denouncement of "nice guys"). Like everyone else, I'm my own person, my needs are a social good just as much as yours are. People are allowed to have high standards and value different things, whether those standards are attainable or not, whether you think other things should be romantically valued or not - because their bodily autonomy is their own. The pluralistic norm Western society has adopted is that attention (sexual or otherwise) is always a gift freely given, it cannot be obligated via some kind of socially normative pseudocontract. You can not be owed relationship consideration, no matter how "deserving" you may be on some cosmic level.