Landwhale family decides that the grocery store rush is the perfect place to be insufferable wastes of time and energy. Today I went to Meijer to pick up some food for dinner. Meijer, in its grand intelligence, decided to update their card reader software to support the embedded chips right at the after-work rush. As a result, the only registers open were four self-scan registers and lines stretched to back of the store. Since I was already there I said fuck it, grabbed what I needed (3 items), and got in the shortest line. In front of me was some beetus barge sitting in her cundishuns mobile with her cart piled high. I didn't think much of it as there are always fats in the supermarket and just played on my phone until I got closer to the register. Once I got closer to the register I realized that she was not alone, in front of her were TWO MORE carts pushed by her fat ass husband and a baby-beetus barge that I assume to be her teenage son. At this point it's too late to switch lines, so I'm stuck watching her sit on her scooter, her husband chat on his phone, and her son scan items so slowly I swear he was struggling to not eat what he was scanning right then and there.  Eventually all they have left in their cart is a bag of jalapenos, and the she-whale heaves herself off her cart to look up the peppers. She looks through the catalog and misses their picture so she scans through every single letter in the alphabet, because some how those fucking peppers are possibly listed under z in her beetus-deprived head cavity. She does this process 2 more times scanning through the entire catalog, and at this point I have been standing in line way too long and just want to go home. I started to try and help her by saying "Excuse me ma'am..", but without even looking at me she cuts me off and says "Be Quite!!!, I'm trying to concentrate!" While ultimately I shouldn't have been surprised at the rudeness of a whale it was the first time I had experienced it personally. I go back to my phone and decide to not let her bother me, even though I was quickly becoming pissed off that I'd been at the store for almost 30 minutes already because these glucose-junkies couldn't figure out what a picture of a fucking vegetable looked like.  She finally finds her peppers and goes to scan her card. She hasn't selected the "use card as payment" method so when she inserts the card the computer does nothing. She pulls her card out, puts it in again, and again and again, and each time she does it the reader says that she needs to use the computer. Finally, because she has no clue how to use the system, she rings for assistance. The clerk comes over and tells her that she needs to select "use card" from the computer before scanning the card. The whale doesn't say thank you, and pushes her way back to the computer. She selects card, inserts her card and then immediately pulls it out which of course doesn't work. Again she repeats this several times before ringing the clerk again. The clerk tells her she needs to leave the card in. The eatbeast leaves her card in and the reader tells her to hit the green button if the amount is ok, and the red if its not. Again, the clerk is brought over to show her which button to push, since the beast could only see a button with a green circle not a button that was totally green. At this point I am livid, but relieved that the beast is finally done with her transaction. Just as she is finishing up, her future mayo monster of a son points out that something was left in one of the carts. Can you guess what happened next? I bet you can! The whole process of trying to figure out the card scanner started up again. I ended up standing in that fucking line for AN HOUR. Fuck I hate fats.