this is perfect.   Also, if your life is falling apart and you are dealing with abuse besides having something to focus on you have something to achieve with an eating disorder. You can block out bad feelings by instead focusing on the pride or shame you feel about your weight. You can feel better than the people that abuse you because you have achieved something they cannot (weightloss). You regain a sense of purity, you feel clean and powerful, nothing and no one can hurt you more than you hurt yourself. And you can handle the pain and punishment you create, it just makes you feel more powerful. An eating disorder can make a person feel more than human, above basic human needs such as nutrition, social interaction, or love. It allows you to separate yourself from reality, it may seem all about weight but really it is all about escape.