Funnily enough, has been done already as a joke. Subtitles for anyone who doesn't know german: Woman's Voice (W): "Run, fat pig" is not a normal running app. "Run, fat pig" knows exactly what your problem is. You have to be forced to do sport. App (A): Why did you stop running, you fat slob? Run, fat boy, run! Fatty (F): My body doesn't care about society's standards. Period. I already tried every fitness app. I don't need shitty motivational speeches. W: "Run, fat pig" is based on an old evolutionary discovery. Humans don't need encouragement. They need a kick in the ass!  F: I lost 10 kilos in 3 weeks. (That's 22 pounds for everyone who uses that unit still) This is exactly what I wanted. W: "Run, fat pig" won't share any of your runs on Facebook. "Run, fat pig" will instead tell your friends when you weren't running. (Text says: "I wasn't running today. Which is why I am so fat.") If you miss your goals for the day, "Run, fat pig" well get angry and will lock your camera per face recognition. A: No one wants to see your fat face! W: Or it will send SMS to all of your contacts. (SMS: Sorry, that I'm so fat.) W: "Run, fat pig" has access to all functions of your smartphone. A: Attention! Make space! Make a lot of space for a fat pig coming through. W: This app works because it owns you. (A: you fat pig.) A: 5 Kilometres.  4a64   You've reached your goal. And now 2 kilometres more, or I'll send your browser history to all of your contacts. Deinstallation only possible after 3000 kilometres!