I saw the Great White Whale this weekens I was working a shitty makeup convention in Los Angeles this weekend. While it did bring out a whole lot of beautiful eye candy, the ratio was off and there were more dumpy fat women than attractive ones I'd say.  I worked Saturday and Sunday. Brutally long days of standing for 12 hours straight for the most part. My knees were killing me halfway through the first day. I don't know how those fat fuckers manage to do anything. I guess a Scotty puff sure helps with that a lot.  Anyway, yesterday as I could start to smell the finish line coming up, knowing I could get the hell out of there, I see just the fattest one I'd seen all weekend come out of this area  dressed in what I think was supposed to be an elegant dress. Looked more like a shower curtain dropped on top of a talking globe. It dawned on me then that it waddled out of the 'talent'  area and oh my god if it didn't look just butt-fuck like Tess The Mess. I scream to my buddy to get over here and he comes over and I tell him. He booked it back to where he was working and grabbed an information brochure and sure enough there was the monster's name being listed as making an appearance in the next hour or so.  I had always seen the pictures and thought 'damn that's gross', but I don't believe I could ever properly articulate the experience properly now. I wish I had been able to take a picture but the thing was literally 10 feet from me and I would have been really obvious. I guess since it's a 'celebrity' I could have gotten away with it somehow, but that didn't dawn on me at the time.  Remember:  friends don't let friends become fat. They do call friends over when they see the day walkers/rollers though.