I saw a herd of elephants today! ... just kidding. It was a bunch of fat chicks.  I work in a restaurant, so you can imagine the kind of monstrosities I see on a daily basis. Anyway, I was having a break and sitting at one of the corner tables close to the back door, where most people come in from. I swear I could hear them before they even opened the door. They were LOUD bitches. Our building is over 114 years old, it's high ceilings, the original stone walls, all hard floors and wood benches and tables and metal chairs (no soft or upholsters surfaces at all), and it gets loud and echoy in there even at the best of times. These three heifers waddle on in, and they can't even walk 2 abreast down the hallway, they're THAT fat, so they're all kinda staggered. Two are wearing flip flops and what looks like pajamas and can barely lift their hooves off the ground so that obnoxious flap-shuffle flap-shuffle sound just reverberates through the whole place, and the third is dressed in full 1950's poodle skirt, saddle shoes, horned rimmed classes, the works. Eww. Why do fat girls think 50's styles are flattering and cute on them? They just look strangely childish and like they're in a costume. They didn't smell, thankfully, but the huge pungent cloud of overused perfume did follow them around. They're cackling about "I just LOVE this place! Their burritos are to DIE for, and the mimosas are just so yummy!" I hate that word, "yummy", it just sounds wrong coming out of adult mouths. Anyway, as they walk past me I can feel the vibration through the floor. Again, 114 year old building with a hollow stone basement underneath the whole place, EVERYTHING vibrates, echos, sounds hollow, etc. I listen to them order, I swear they ordered two entrees a piece and like 3 starters to share, bellowing gafaws as my manager "flirts" with them to upsell anything and everything he can (he has no shame in that regard, and I'm sure fat asses just CAN'T resist adding bacon, avocado, extra cream cheese, extra extra extra everything offered to them), and then they sat down in one of the larger central tables in the restaurant. And they were LOUD the entire time they were there, bellowing laughter, belting out parts of stories or tales or whatever fat asses talk about, and it just drowns out all other noise in the restaurant. I could tell it was putting off other customers, because a lot of orders after they sat down were for to-go. It was obvious they were doing it for the attention, too, no one else is ever that loud and obnoxious unless they want everyone staring at them. I deliberately walked my dishes to the front of the house to drop them in the bus bucket, refill my water bottle, and chat with some coworkers, being in full view of these cows. I always wear leggings to work because they're comfortable as fuck, I don't care if they get stained or ruined because they're cheap, and they show off my toned legs and thigh gap, which I made sure to emphasize as I hung out for a moment leaning on the corner. I hope they all had a good dose of "skinny bitch guilt" as I went back to the kitchen. "How do you stay so skinny working in a restaurant? I'd get so fat eating there all the time!" Fat sows like that are how I don't get fat working there, watching them stuff themselves really puts me off my own food most of the time. And I have, you know, self control, self respect, and aren't emotionally attached to food. Pretty wild, right?  And really, why for fuck's sake do they have to stick their tongues ALL the way out of their mouths whenever they take a bite of something, or nearly unhinge their jaws to chow down? Like honestly, it's horrific, and only fat asses do this I've noticed. Skinny and normal people almost always have better manners. They really are goddamn animals.