This reminds me of an old joke my shitlord grandpa used to tell. There's a fat guy who wants to lose weight, and he finds a special fat loss clinic: "the results you want or your money back." He figures "what do I have to lose" and goes on over. The front desk lady asks him "how much do you want to lose today?" He thinks for a bit and says "10 pounds!" She writes down his info and says "2nd floor, 3rd door on the right." So he makes his way over and finds a beautiful woman inside. She says "if you can catch me - you can fuck me." He spends 8 hours chasing her, finally catches her and fucks her, and weighs himself 10lbs lighter! "Awesome!" he thinks and goes back the next day with bigger goals. "I want to lose 20 pounds today!" he tells the lady at the front desk. Again, she writes down his info and tells him "3rd floor, 1st door on the left." He makes his way over and finds two beautiful women inside. They say in unison "if you catch us, you can fuck us both." After 16 exhausting hours he catches them both and bangs them both. "Alright," he thinks. "Gonna go big or go home now" and tells the lady at the front desk "50 pounds today!" She concernedly looks at him and asks "are you sure?" "fuck yea," he says. "Alright, 4th floor - last door at the end of the hallway." So he makes his way up there, excited about what he's going to find. Finally he reaches the room and finds a giant black guy with a footlong schlong in there. The guy looks at him and says "if I catch you, I'm gonna fuck you!"