Seated between fats on an airplane I want to share my experience on a flight from BWI to DEN with Southwest. I normally pay an extra $40 for priority boarding, but decided not to this time for whatever reason. Ended up boarding dead last and had to sit between two obeasts. The former female in the window seat was pushing 300lbs and the former male in the isle had to have been 400lbs, it was gigantic. The former female was properly ashamed of its size; it was clearly trying to melt into the window. At one point it dropped its sunglasses on the floor and knew there was no way it could reach down and get them. The shame and embarrassment dripping off this femayo was invigorating to me. I reached down and made picking up the sunglasses look like the easiest thing in the world, which of course it is for a human.  The former male however was clearly trying to assert its fatness over me and trying to encroach into my seat. I put the armrests down, but it was spilling into my seat nonetheless, with not an ounce of shame or respect for airline etiquette. I was livid but I find it difficult to be rude and confrontational, so I decided to make this fat fuck my best friend. I was all up on it the entire flight. I helped it with its crossword, I conversed with it about its book, I asked what it was doing in Denver. It ordered a Bloody Mary but when the flight attendant brought it, the obeast didn’t want it because it had alcohol in it (???). I reached across it and took the Bloody Mary and thanked it for it. I ignored all normal social cues and talked to this motherfucker for the entire 4 hour flight, all the while leaning closer and closer into its space. By the end, it was no longer spilling into my seat but into the isle, clearly extremely uncomfortable and wondering how it had the misfortune to be seated next to a nonstop, close talking crazy woman.  This may not be the most entertaining or climactic story, but to all my fellow non confrontational shitlords/ladies, you do not have to let these fats stomp all over you. It is fully possible to flip the script on them without being confrontational or causing a scene.