Thanks. I was a bit surprised by how much bile I had pent up, guess I never really realised just how angry I was until I started typing.  She's doing a fair bit better than she was, but it is so hard to see someone so amazing and talented become so ill. I witnessed some of the hard parts but it's her family that really got the worst of it, they didn't even realise how severe it was until she was admitted. She's a smart cookie, but with that intelligence came a great deal of cunning and the ability to convince her parents that everything was fine. I guess it's like the other extreme of the normalisation of obesity. Her family became used to her size and the habits she allowed them see, and they never thought for a second she was as unwell as she was. Luckily she has an equally amazing family, and a wonderful sister who pulls no punches when it comes to give her a polite but firm kick up the ass to get back on track to recovery. There's still a very long way to go, but she seems to genuinely want to get better which is the biggest thing.  I just hate how this bs HAES has hijacked the focus of actual disorders regarding food. Yes, some of these people do have terrible conditions like Prader-Willi syndrome and Pica, and I have genuine sympathy for those people, but to see horrifically over sized people complain about 'condishuns' and or the small portions they were served somewhere really annoys me. Watching someone vacuum up 700+ calories into their mouth in less than 5 minutes and comparing that to seeing my friend (we'll call her J), freak out and break down if there's even the smallest oil stain on the brown paper bag her wrap came in (and usually it's actually the water from the sliced cucumbers in her wrap, but she honestly can't even process such a fact whilst she's in the height of her stress), really hits home to me just how messed up things are. There are two shops she can buy clothes in (All Saints and Top Shop), without having to go into the children's department. The psychological effects of having to buy children's clothes despite being a highly respected academic in her chosen field in her late 20s does not help her esteem. In fact, I think that being forced into the childrens' department undoes a lot of the counselling her and her hospital friends underwent. I can't imagine having to go into the kids section of a shop and not feeling like you're abnormal.   The increasing anger at 'skinny bitches', 'thinspos' etc, makes her feel more isolated, and when we've been out having a coffee I've noticed people (usually that bit plumper, luckily the country we live in isn't like the US, yet), unashamedly stare at her, or throw pitying looks whilst loudly tutting in disapproval. It's insane.   People ('society'?.... Media) want us to applaud those with no self restraint who look like flesh coloured blimps with cankles, swollen engorged arms, fupa elbows, knees and knuckles and no discernible waistline, and if we disagree we're awful humans, body shaming some poor person (who got themselves into that situation through their own actions and habits and denial), yet it's fine to loudly exclaim 1."oh my god, look at that thing, she's like a martian/concentration camp survivor"* or  2. "and that's why I don't diet, she's like a baby bird" or  3. "Christ, looking at her's made me lose my appetite. Ugh. How can anybody find that attractive?! She's just skin and angles, ewww!", or   4. bash into her,   5.blatantly gawk at her,   6.make jokes about feeding her,   7.insisting she CAN'T be in her late 20s, sure she has the body of a 12 year old,  8. Unapologetically TAKE A PHOTO of her!  What the hell is wrong with the world we live in, where anyone thinks it's okay to ridicule a person who nearly died from severely restricting their diet (and not because of wanting to be skinny btw! Not in J's case at least), but proclaim their love and adoration for a person with no ability to regulate their calorie consumption? Fortunately, J seems to take these disgusting incidents as motivation to try to stay on track. She, wonderfully, ordered a chocolate brownie before just to spite someone who had been eavesdropping on our conversation and gawking at her the whole time.  *This was actually said, the comparison between her pre hospital body and survivors of concentration camps. What the actual fuck.  Clearly I'm still in rant mood! :)  But basically, J is doing a lot better despite the world we now live in, and I'm going to stick by her and keep supporting her in the face of adversity and not so subtle judgement by those who are (thankfully?) eating themselves into an early grave.   I think a lot of my fatphobia stems from seeing the abuse fats have hurled at her actually.   Hopefully by 2025, when they've mostly killed themselves off, we can reclaim this planet (if there's any resources left, fatties are really fucking up the balance), and J will be there with us, enjoying life like she's meant to.