Today's Fat Annoyance. Hey FPH, just wanted to chime in on my day off. Today, I'm spending a good chunk of the day repairing a barstool. "But Lawyers, why are you fixing a barstool?" Well, wee FPHer, my girlfriend had a fat friend last year, and she made the mistake of inviting the ham over for a weekend. The fatty sat on one of my barstools, which is designed for human-sized asses and has a semi-spherical frame, and immedately shattered its plywood base. Pretending that it didn't notice, the ham then sat on another barstool and broke it too. At this point, I suggested to her that she consider sitting on the floor, and suggested to my girlfriend that if she ever invite another ham to my place it'd not be allowed out of the garage. The end.