(RANT) This special fucking snowflake in my college course She is the poster child for the Fat-Asstivist.  Brightly dyed (badly) purple hair, shaved on the sides.  A myriad of disgusting tattoos, piercings, etc...  As wide as she is tall.  All she's missing is the glasses.  She eff'd those beauty standards right up the asshole, and now she's covered in the ensuing shit storm.  Anyways, as you may have guessed, she weighs three of me. ALL CLASS LONG she talks out loud to herself.  Not just mumbling, talking at full conversation volume.  Just narrating what she's doing, and reading aloud everything she reads on worksheets, or whatever she's doing.  I really think she can't process words in her head unless she literally reads aloud to herself like a three year old.  Then she butts into conversations to prove how "I totally know about that I'm cool too!"  You really can't mention liking or doing anything unless you want the conversation to be about her expertise instead of the actual topic. Aside from hijacking conversations, narrating her own life story as it unfolds, and taking up way more space than is necessary, she's one of those who rests her udders on the table in order to be able to properly see what she's doing right in front of her.  I swear to god, she takes up half her table space this way. Today, she decided it would be a great idea to make some new friends and sit at my table.  Did I mention this class is three hours long?  It's three hours long.  So what does she immediately do to have enough energy (tee hee!) to make it through the class?  She pulls out her coffee mug and a donut bag.  I inwardly die as I prepare to watch this albino manatee stuff her face full of pastry.  But then, a miracle occurs.  She flips the bag upside down and donuts don't fall out.  It's creamer for her coffee. Eight packages of creamer. I watch in horror as she slaughters her coffee with ALL EIGHT PACKAGES OF CREAMER, one by one, eyes lighting up each time she manages to pop the little plastic lid off.  After all eight have been poured, she death rattles (sighs?  I can't tell) and takes a huge swig.  This is a normal sized portable coffee mug.  The damn coffee must have been half creamer by this point.  Then she happily starts yapping about whatever dumbfuck thing she did before she got there. I didn't last.  I would have gone insane listening to her flap her mouth for three excruciating hours, listening to her talk about how she's just dying to turn her hair into dreads, and how it's just so hard for her to remember shit literally every other student in the room was taking in stride.  But fortunately someone had to leave early, and I eagerly snatched up the seat. I have two more months of this.  (shit)Lord in heaven, save me.