1 large cheese pizza: 2975 calories  2 pounds bacon: 4908 calories  3 burritos at 920 each: 2760 calories  2 cups of cheese: 910 calories  Total: 11,553 calories.  Or a much more reasonable 2888 calories per serving!  Which means plenty of room for ranch and mayo dip.  Now if you excuse me I'm going to go off and cry a single tear for humanity.