Family get together: The squealing was satisfying. My mom celebrated her 80th birthday on Sunday. I invited over a large group (literally and figuratively) of family members who lived in the Edmonton and surrounding. Here are the starting teams (all from my perspective, not my moms, and I'm really bad with the terms so bear with me): Team Human: Mom, Aunt 1, Cousin 1, Cousin 2, Niece 1, Nephew 1, Nephew 2, my wife Team Beetus/Haes/Deathfat: Aunt 2, Uncle-in-law 1, Uncle-in Law 2, Cousin 1 Spouse, Cousin 2 Partner, Niece 2, Niece 3, Niece 1-3 bfs, Nephew 1 g/f So I had the privilege of cooking for this assortment of individuals. The sad fucking part out of all of this is that I don't have to differentiate between the small fats or the Tess Holidays. Fat people get heated when they are not fed the way they wanted.  I cooked a chili. I had initial appetizers of two shrimp rings, 2 veggie platters, and a meat/cheese/cracker platter. There was wine but no hard liquor or beer...I am not dealing with anyone being an idiot and getting an impaired on getting in an accident because they couldn't control themselves. I only freely serve liquor amongst groups with no infiltrating scootypuffs. Obviously, the fats engorged/engulfed the meat platter almost instantly. It was like the Amazing Race to see who could eat faster. A bit rude that some people didn't get any, but I admittedly expected that. Shrimps disappeared next as I heard a partner fat talk about omega-3s and seafood. Ugh. Vegetable platters were left for the humans and they were amply supplied. But the real kicker here is my main dish: chili. I love making chili. I basically live off of chili because of its versatility, its ability to save time and money in preparation.  I made 3 separate pots of the following: 2 large cans of crushed tomatoes, 1 can mixed beans, 1 can lentils, 1.5 cups rice, 500 grams extra lean ground beef, spinach, kale, assorted peppers, carrots, onions, along with various spices (one hot, one medium, one mild). Fuck I hate family get togethers. My mom owes me. Lol.