Copycat Ham [Ideas Needed] Honestly, I hate this bitch and doubt she has ever had a single original thought in her head. For some reason, she is determined to latch onto me, so I have recently taken to have some fun steering the cow in the wrong direction. Highlights include: Copying my hair colour. Well, trying to. Instead of matching my colour, she turned her (deep)fried, straw-like locks a horrid shade of orange. Trying to copy my perfume. Luckily for me, she considers the cost too high (needs to save money for beetus snacks) and bathes in bodyodor spray instead. Wanting to know what brand of hair care products I use (again, too expensive for piggie). My clothes. None are in her size, so the bitch wears graphic shirts and rees about trying in my clothes. Never going to happen. The food I eat. ...Minus the veg and fruit (unless accompanied by chocolate or sugary granola and equally sugary yoghurt). Hobbies, unless they are physically demanding (surprise, surprise). Her sexual orientation. She PROUDLY claims she was a lesbian (she says she has dated and loved a teenage girl - but nothing sexual) until she found out I didn't care. This beast is in my social circle and has recently taken to reeeeeeeing to me about all aspects of her life. From her SJWisms (which I'm sure would change to align with my core beliefs if she ever found out what they were), to her health issues, to her mental issues, to her family and fat roll models. I once tried to nicely help her with her gout and the cunt snapped at me about where I got my medical degree and to shut it. Now she wants to lose weight. I have been telling her to only cook with bacon fat, eat a full meal every two hours starting once she wakes up, dessert after every meal, and that she should NEVER feel hungry. Any helpful tips to shuffle this beast into Lord Beetus' eternal embrace (and far away from me)?