Dude, your mom is a fat god damn piece of shit. You should be hating her ass. Blast her on fucking Facebook with some tough love, Jillian Michaels style. No god damn hampathy for fat fucking family members. Boo fucking hoo. If you need to commiserate with other children of fat fucking pieces of shit, this isn't the fucking place for you. I hate your mom because she's a fucking ham. And I hate you because you refuse to hate her like you fucking should. Motherfucker. You're crying mayo tears on behalf of your mom. Cut that shit out or keep it to your fucking self. Why the fuck would you want to ruin your wedding photos with a god damn hamzilla lurking in the background? She'll eat all your fucking cake. She'll try to fatten your kids. She's a fucking menace.