I feel like the majority of the enablers are brainwashed or suffering from feelings of guilt. Many are fat themselves and therefore have a vested interest in keeping the dynamic going.  Sometimes the deathfat is emotionally manipulative or, in the case of ASSanti and friends, the deathfat is emotionally vengeful and makes everyone around them suffer until placated. Sometimes the enabler is using the situation as a power dynamic because they are fat fetishists  getting off on their partners state of fatness. I dont really understand what brings a person to this state but once the damage is done it can be hard to fix.