There was a fight at my school the other day. 2 fats (Like 80 pounds overweight, fucking huge in a sain world but small in comparison to the majority :/ ) got pissed at eachother and went at it. And the result was absolutely amazing! I would like to consider myself a martial artist. In that martial arts a huge part of my life. And they were just aweful! You know how literally everyone in your average gym can punch to at least an extent? Like even if they aren't amazing at it they know the mechanics? Move your arm out, twist your body, hit, pull back? Well the hams started their punch by swinging her fat, hands at their sides. Then swung their arms up, and used their momentum to perform the sloppiest hook punch I have ever seen. The looked so easily blockable with a simple 360 defence, or you could just step out of the way. Like literally a step back. It was so well telegraphed you would have like solid 10 seconds to step back. Point is, even untrained fit bros know how to fight. But fats threw the whole fucking book out.  But the best part was that they actually seemed aware of each others fat, and therefore their vulnerability to gravity. And thusly when they realized swinging their fupas around was failing to penetrate their adipose armor they changed strategies. The result? FUCKING SUMO FIGHTING!!! It was so awesome! They started grabbing at each others many rolls. Whenever they got a grip on on the other they would try to pull them over. But they would lose their grip most of the time, probably due to their lack of showering / bathing in butter. Eventually one got a solid grip, with those nice strong fingers from opening all those candy wrappers, and tugged the other down. Fattie landed HARD, with an earth shattering thud! It ended the fight instantly. The fattie still standing then had to adjust its planetary collision path from annihilation to a soft orbit. Somehow managing to right itself, preventing mass extinction. The other fattie managed to peel itself off the floor, and then ran off, probably to brag about how "Badass" it was to all its friends.  As someone who knows how to fight, it is just painful to watch. I think it may have given me an ulcer.  Just for the record, if a fattie ever tries to attack you, aim for the knees. They are so close to snapping anyway you are basically guaranteed to take em down. P.S. I don't mean to evangelize but go try Krav Maga. Its fucking awesome.