Fatties at the nursing home. "Why did you bring a bed sheet?" + fatties in Japan Hi fph. Shitlady nurse Alpaca here. I've been busy this Summer with this and that. Funerals, and a trip to Japan. Go me. I have missed you all and I hope your Summer has been alright.  Onwards .  Why does it keep itching? Fungus happens in areas that are warm, damp and dark. Usually in houses but it can happen in humans as well. It's not too unusual for it to happen beneath the breasts of old ladies, or in armpits. It's usually small though, and goes away with some washing and cream.  Another place it's common in is in the folds of fat people. Whereas you can air armpits and air the bags of skin that once were perky tits, it's very hard to air folds. Cause they're heavy. And fat people are lazy and uncooperative. And the fatter the person, the deeper the fold, the more fungus. The more fungus the more it itches, and the more fungus the more it smells. Cleaning folds is truly the highlight of my day. I just love the smell of dirty folds in the morning.  Gag.  Why did you bring a bedsheet? So I'm helping this lady, let's call her Anne, getting dressed. Anne resembles a beach ball. I'm looking through her clothes and decide on a dress, cause it's Summer so why the fuck not. Plus it's easier for me to deal with, less work.  Now Anne is a big woman and her clothes reflect her size. I could probably have done a conjoined quadruplets challenge with the dress, but I wasn't about to test that. Anne stares at the dress that I'm holding up before inquiring about it.  "Why did you bring me a bed sheet?" "It's a dress Anne, look at the cute sleeves and buttons!" Now, I could probably have cut holes in a bedsheet and presented it as a dress, cause it's about the same size, but I didn't actually do it. I want to keep my job, and I'm a sucker for punishment.  In the end she accepted the dress. Thank fuck for that.  He doesn't fit beneath the table We have wheelchairs of different sizes and heights. Usually there is no problem, but since we're dealing with fatties here..  Bob the vacuum cleaner from my previous stories is still hanging on. Recently he has decided that he wants to sit at another table. We have two of them and Bob has always been sitting at the table where you can adjust the height. Well, that's no longer good enough for him, so we have to move him to the other table. Which is whatever, really. For all I care he can sit on the roof if that's what he wishes.  Except for the fact that Bob is fat. Usually he sits with his legs propped up a bit, for support plus to make it possible to drive him around. If we lower them his feet and footrest will drag across the ground.  So my clever coworkers spend long moments trying to fit the increasingly angry Bob by the table. Bob is a bunch of daisies and if you so much as breathe in a wrong way he will start screaming and yelling for no reason. People keep saying it's because his stroke, but I'm fairly certain Bob was an ass even before that happened.  So here we are, Bob yelling obscenities, my coworkers trying to plead with him to sit at the other table. In the end I drag down his footrest and shove him in beneath the table. I'm willing to bet we will have Bob shaped marks across the floor by the time Christmas rolls around.  Fatties in Japan.  Japan in July is hot and humid aa fuck. Being the Viking that I am I suffered greatly, but enjoyed myself. Would repeat, but perhaps at a time when I won't look like a soaked puppy just by spending one minute without AC. Like in November. Anyway.  I saw some Asian fatties, but they were all used to the weather and sweated less than me (or as much). The biggest thing was the tourists.  So. Many. Fat. Tourists. They had problems fitting into changing rooms, fitting through the subway fences, trouble fitting in the grocery Isle.. Just trouble. And they were loud as fuck and stood out as sore thumbs. Pretty sure the Japanese around us were planning on committing murder by the way the tourists were acting.  Funniest encounter was with two Americans. I think.  So in Japan they have both cooling wipes and cooling pads. The wipes are your regular things but with mint on them, so where a breeze or some sweat comes on your skin you will feel refreshed a fuck. And smell good. Loved that shit. I never use the pads, and I never saw an Asian using them either, but these blobs did.  My SO and I were exploring when all of a sudden the Earth shakes. We have never experience am Earthquake before, so we are excited. Until we see two sumo fighters in drag approaching us.. With papers on their foreheads? What? When they got closer I realized they were cooling pads but it might as well have been regular TP wit all the good it did.  I thought I sweated like a disgusting pig during my stay but these two women made me look as dry as a desert. They were dripping, panting messes, all red in the face. Fuck, all red everywhere. You'd think they just stepped out of a pool. They stop in front of us, and what I thought sounded like the beginning of a seizure turned out to be them trying to breathe and talk. I've heard 90 year old patients with only one lung and a cpap mask speaking and breathing better. I'm not gonna write down each pause they took cause that could fill a fucking tome.  "it's... It's... It's.. Hey it's.. It's warm yes?" At this point I wanted to fake not speaking any English but my SO, bless his soul, spoke up before I could answer in Japanese. Yeah, he agreed, it was hot. Fucker. He's lucky he is hot.  "like wow.. Yeah! Like sooo hot ha ha.. Ohhh.. So uhh.. We're tired, are you tired?" Not really, it's hot but we're not dying. We're walking around, enjoying ourselves. Seeing that we clearly don't share their problems that start to look around.  "you.. Do you know where the subway is? Is it close?" "Yeah, it's like just across the street and up. Like a 5 minute walk or something. " They looked at me like I just announced the end of the world.  "What? Isn't there anything closer?" Are you shitting me? They're still breathing as if they've run a marathon, and they drip enough sweat to drench a small village. We just shrug and walk away.  Clothes shopping.  The clothes in Japan were smaller. No vanity sizing here. A lot of them were also not designed with boobs and wide hips and shoulders in mind so I sometimes has issues, but since I'm not a giant log it wasn't an issue. I met one bubbly, blobby teenager though that had had soooooooo much troubles with clothes and like can you believe these people like why do they make things so small, no one can wear them!!!  (clearly people can wear them cause otherwise they would've been made bigger). At one point I ended up in a store that clearly catered to foreigners.  What I thought would be a Japanese medium turned our to be a vanity sized America medium, cause everything was loose as fuck. And sat wrong. They didn't have anything smaller at that store either, so I had to leave. Which was a shame, cause they had some cute dresses.