Even if she's intelligent and goofy etc etc like OP says, it sounds like she has a fuckload of baggage. Never underestimate the repulsiveness of a shitty conversationalist, as well. The family called her annoying because she is annoying. OP is a stupid, selfish loser if he forces them to apologize and put up with having a shitty daughter/sister-in-law the rest of their lives. Countdown to familial estrangement in 3... 2... 1...