Tales from Dominos Episode IX: Beetus And The Beast Hey my fellow shitlords and ladies, I hope you guys had a Happy Halloween! I on the other hand, had a meh one. I didn't want to blow alot of my cash on a costume, had no plans and my other friends weren't doing anything so my boss called me in for an extra shift at Dominos. And let me tell you, despite the fact that it's Halloween, the one night where you can go to people's doors to recieve beetus to your heart's content it was SUPER busy. Quite a few people waiting in carry out, we had 1-2 drivers and multiple deliveries, most of which were late with our driver's stretched thin so I also had to do damage control over the phone. I mean, how much saturated and trans fat do people need on October 31st? So after the wave had died down thins were a bit better. We did get a threat over the phone about someone coming in and slapping someone since their order was late but nothing happened fortunately(And the guy who made the threat was black, go figure).  Eventually it came down to just me and the general manager with our drivers in and out on deliveries.While I'm stoking boxes, the door opens and this HUGE black lady comes in with a little boy in a Spider Man costume. Now, it was Halloween, so I was half expecting some horror movie shit to happen(like a  Hash-Slinging Slasher scenario) but this bitch was truly something out of a goddamn scary movie. She had on white face paint, a lip piercing ,must have been over 400 lbs(yes she definitely was approaching my 600 lb life weight) to the point where her stomach fat was just hanging there like sandbags or when you pull a garbage bag out of a can. She ordered 2 medium pizzas(pepperoni sausage, and chicken and sausage) along with 32 chicken wings. Oh and she wanted them wings run through the oven twice, because she wants them well done(more carcinogens). And this lady overcomplicated payment by paying half with cash and then half with a card. Most reasonable customers usually only do cash OR card, but whatever. So her food is in the oven, and I'm taking care of some other stuff like answering the phone and checking other orders, and I then I see that this lady is digging into her pants(yoga probably, since her fat ass NEEDS elastic in everything.) And I don't mean pockets, I mean inbetween the outside and against her gelatinous mass. And she had handed me the money(which she may have had inside her shirt, ew). Luckily I wash my hands inbetween handling trash, money and food. So I box this lady's stuff, give her ranch when she asks for it(gotta have that beetus dip) and she leaves. Honestly, considering this whale's size, it's clear that food is mostly for her and [probably her son. I feel so bad for that little kid, because he's already caught in a dangerous web(and it ain't Spidey's) So yeah. That's my Halloween encounter with a monster, of biblical proportions.