Shitlording by author Ray Bradbury Ray Bradbury wrote a bunch of science fiction novels I grew up reading. One of my favorites is called The Martian Chronicles, which was written in the late 40's and 50's. It's a collection of short stories about different people at different times that all take place in the same universe. Tonight, I remembered a particular story from that book. Basically everyone leaves Mars (it was colonized by Earth) to go back to Earth except for one man. One day he hears a random phone ring, answers it, and discovers there is also a woman still on Mars. They meet up, and here is what happens: Genevieve Selsor stood in the open door of the salon as he ran across the street. A box of cream chocolates lay open in her arms. Her fingers, cuddling it, were plump and pallid. Her face, as she stepped into the light, was round and thick, and her eyes were like two immense eggs stuck into a white mess of bread dough. Her legs were as big around as the stumps of trees, and she moved with an ungainly shuffle. Her hair was an indiscriminate shade of brown that had been made and remade, it appeared, as a nest for birds. She had no lips at all and compensated this by stenciling on a large red, greasy mouth that now popped open in delight, now shut in sudden alarm. She had plucked her brows to thin antenna lines. Walter stopped. His smile dissolved. He stood looking at her. She dropped her candy box to the sidewalk. "Are you---Genevieve Selsor?" His ears rang. "Are you Walter Griff? She asked. "Gripp." "Gripp," she corrected herself. "How do you do," he said with a restrained voice. "How do you do." She shook his hand. Her fingers were sticky with chocolate. They go on to talk and do things together for a while in the empty town. She turns out to (surprise!) be your usual annoying fatty for all of the usual reasons. Spoiler alert, it doesn't take long for him to nope the hell out of there as quickly as he could with no further desire to find any more people.  Read more Ray Bradbury. Apparently he was a shitlord, and I never even noticed until now.