Observing the Floral-Sphere Long time lurker (r/fph days) first time poster I've seen plenty of fats in my day, but none quite like this. In my short time observing this creature it literally fulfilled every known ham stereotype. During my lunch break I went down to the shops for a quick bite with my workmate. As we were walking through the car park a small commotion was occurring. An enormous Ute was leaning heavily to one side, did it have a flat tire? busted suspension? nope... an enabler was helping a globular fem-mayo out of his vehicle. This particular gravitational anomaly was wearing a floral play suit with... no bra. Its udders swayed sickeningly from side to side as it walked(?) across the car park with its zimmer frame. My workmate and I remarked on the possibilities of observing this strange creature in its natural habitat an we were definitely not disappointed At the entrance of this shopping centre there is usually a pop up stall/booth at the moment its for some kind of homeopathy medicine. There's lots of signs about saying "do you suffer from aches or pains?" the salesman at the booth often approaches older people, hes never approached me as I am young and fit therefore not in his products demographic. Floral-sphere was approached and rather vocally she listed all her cundishuns... back pain/knee pain/troubled sleep, nothing very surprising. The Salesman asked for her details and that's when I found out she was 35!!!!!! my workmates jaw fell open he's 32 how could this circus act be a mere 3 years older than him After sucking the will to live from the salesman she needed to replenish her shugars, the bakery! now this bakery is a very cheap bakery it does good bahn mi, mediocre pies and terrible stale cakes. From where i was sitting i could make out some of floral's order. 4 Pies (two were for her enabler) 2 jam donuts, 4 honey joys, and some various other terrible cakes (seriously the cakes at this bakery are really bad) then she waddled off to do some more shopping while enabler sat down to enjoy his first pie. The 'food court' area of this shopping centre is really tiny, about 8 of those little 60X60cm tables. Of course when Floral-sphere returned from her errands instead of walking around the other tables to reunite with her companion she had cut trough them. Loudly and obnoxiously saying "EXCUSE ME"  she proudly showed off her shopping to her companion, 8 hamburgers, 8 steaks, rissoles, mince meat... the perfect amount off food for one of floral's 500cal snacks. exhausted from all that time on her trotters she sat down to enjoy a pie and honey joy  Then came the part that really confused me... Floral-sphere pulled out a brand new packet of some kind of prescription medication (couldn't see what it was from where i was sitting but possibly an antibiotic) she popped one, no water. dry swallowing pills must be easy when you're used to dry swallowing pizzas. the she popped a second, and a third, fourth, fifth, sixth... one buy one she swallowed the whole packet... sixteen pills. I have no idea what they where but hopefully something with a high overdose risk. Not that it would be easy to overdose when you literally need to take the same dosage as an African bull elephant then it started to eat its jam donuts and i couldn't deal it anymore I tried to get a photo but unfortunately this was the best I could get https://sli.mg/d0c7DU tl;dr went out for lunch and received a complimentary safari