Fat striking up monotonous at tire center So this is the first time I'm getting my car emissions checked, not exactly the best thing in the world to be doing on a gorgeous day but responsibilities and priorities need to be handled. So, waiting for my car to be checked out I start looking over the magazines when I hear, "so what are you getting done?".  I didn't even notice there was a ham in the room, wearing a  beige top and tan bottoms blending in with the light yellow couch. I told him what I was waiting for and he decided to continue the conversation, " I know a lot about cars..And you know what? I believe I can do the test in my garage but it couldn't be submitted to the state. I wouldn't charge you anything either, maybe a coffee or something" it smiled  at me and I replied, "oh, no thanks I'm fine".  A few minutes later...  "I moved here a few weeks ago, I'm going to be helping build the new bridge on the interstate... Blah blah blah.."  I stopped listening.  "So do you live local?"  Me, lying: " Yea, my wife and I have a house a few miles down."  "Oh you're into women, explains a lot"  I ignored it and started flirting with one of the mechanics who was on break just to fuck with the ham. He had a puzzled look the entire time.