Stupid Lardbarge server ruins my birthday Title says it all but I will elaborate. Recently I had a birthday and I went out with the fam to a Mediterranean restaurant (I really like hummus, nuff said). While most of the waiters were human sized somehow my table got stuck with the unkempt 3XL Fupapotamus. Now the food was ok... was expecting better for the $$ but that's a whole other issue... What really annoyed me was the small (teehee) issues that compunded throughout the night to ruin it.  First: the fatty fat whale whale waiter was a fatty fat whale whale whale. That's three strikes right there for me at any place because fats are useless and lazy. Second: the whale had a stain on its (tarp) shirt that it was probably oblivious of. I really dislike when a waiter in unkempt, of course this being a lardbarge what did I really expect.  Third: the whale took the time to explain how the menu worked. In 12 seconds of looking at it anyone with a modicum of intellect could figure it out I think. The fupacabra apparently thought most people were on its level of intellect--i.e. none. And painstakingly explained it. JFC fatty shut the fuck up. Fourth: this restaurant didn't have Turkish coffee (or more likely the lardbarge didn't know what the fuck it was...). But it did chime in that they had an expresso machine. THERE IS NO X IN ESPRESSO YOU FAT WORTHLESS LARD GOBLIN. NOT A SINGLE FUCKING X IN THE WORD. IF THERE WAS YOU'D HAVE EATEN IT!!!!!!! Fifth: I suspect the lard barge had issues with customers because its boss came up to personally ask how it was doing. That doesn't happen often.  Moral of the story: If the waiter (or more than 30% of the customers) are whales walk out and never give the restaurant business again. That is my policy. However I wasn't going to make a scene in front of my family so I gritted my teeth and sprinkled in some little shitlord comments here and there. Had I been paying I would have written there is no X in espresso on the receipt. I may email the management to express(o) my discontent.