more stupid fats on tour I have so many stupid fat people stories since I wrote about orchestra fats awhile back, but I'll just share this one from last week. Old friend of mine (who got very fat over the last 20 years) lives near the city we played last week and she came to the show with her (small fat) friend. We had talked the week before about going out for drinks after and she hinted several times that it would be "so amazing" if I could get a couple of the cast members to join us. Most of the performers are very attractive and fit people (of course they are, why wouldn't they be), and a few of them are well known, at least in the context of this genre. I'm friends with one of the lead guys from before he was a big deal and to my surprise he agreed to go out with us. The girls are nervous, drinking a little too much, gushing a little too much, and let's call him "Tom" is still nursing his first drink while they're both on their third. They ask him stupid questions and he's so kind, patient, polite, funny. They order food. Several appetizers. It's about 12:30 am. They joke about ordering enough for the whole table.  While we're waiting for the food my friend says to him, "I bet you have to spend a lot of time at the gym to look like that--is it difficult working out when you're on the road?" Tom says, "Oh no, I don't really work out. This kind of body is made in the kitchen." Crickets. Then "Oh yeah, that makes sense. Must be a drag having to diet all the time." And "Guess that's why they say 'starving artist' ha ha!"   (I'm thinking, no that's not what that means.) Being the decent guy he is, Tom tried to backpedal, saying, "Yeah but when I get back home I eat all the time, my mom makes this pasta thing, blah blah blah..."  but we never recovered. The food arrived and everyone half-heartedly (and quietly) picked at it, leaving most of it to coagulate into a solid fried bar food mess. When he and I walked back to the hotel he said, "I'm so sorry. I can't believe I said that, it sounded so arrogant."  I said, "Are you kidding? You should be saying, 'Don't ever do that to me again!' " "No, no, they were fine. I was rude." I wanted so badly to introduce him to Fat People Hate and the world of shitlording, but I'm such a coward. Maybe I'll start dropping hints and watch for his reaction.