Muh Shugas!! As I was pouring myself a glass of juice for muh shugas, I recalled this story that I thought you guys would enjoy: I am a traveler, and on one great escapade in France I was staying with, regrettably, an obeast. The beast volunteered to show me around the neighbourhood, and I accepted because why else would I be there but to explore? We could easily have walked around but the beast insisted on taking the metro lines wherever possible, which was a clear indicator of the laziness it harboured. Still, I got to see a lot and eventually, we did manage to get in some walking. I had to walk at a half-pace which is absurd considering the fact that I legit have a heart condishun and usually I'm making an effort to keep up with others, but the waddle was slow. It was a very hot day though and the beast and I agreed we should find some refreshments. I was hoping for water at a vending machine because keeping hydrated is important for keeping my blood thin to allow it to get around aortic scar tissue, and shit like coke dehydrates you more than anything. No such luck, so I settled for iced tea. This was ok though because I have in the past had fainting spells which my cardiologist has said could be staved off by keeping muh shugas up. I'd just have water with dinner or something. The beast also got a sugary drink, more iced tea. Then it stared at the machine for a while. Then it pawed out some more coins, and got itself a massive bag of some kind of gummy bear or skittles thing, I don't remember. It was technicolour sugar lumps. It looked at me a bit shamefully and excused itself, "It's for my blood sugar." I stared at it. I stared at its beetus snack. I stared at its sugary drink. I stared at my sugary drink. We all know that drink would have sufficed for sugar level boosting, (if it even needed that,) and we all know why the obeast is an obeast. As we continued the walk it offered me its precious beetus which was surprisingly kind, but I declined because I'm not a huge candy fan and I was generally put off by the whole thing. I said, "No thank you, this iced tea is really sugary already," trying to drop the hint. The packet was empty within 2 minutes. Later on we inevitably got on the topic of medical conditions and weight, because it was saying how surprised it was that I still keep as active as possible considering my goofed heart. I just think it's common sense to take care of the body parts you can instead of letting them all rot because of the one you can't fix. As all hams do it began making excuses about it's size, describing all the reasons it cant exercise (joint pain, back pain, shortness of breath, you know, all the obesity-relation conditions that can be fixed by losing the fucking weight.) It makes comments about how "tiny" I am, which I ignore because a) u jelly and b) better than being fat, my heart is stressed out enough as it it without lugging 200 extra pounds around. I don't consider 5'11 and 140lbs to be tiny anyway. Then this beast says the most delusional thing I had heard from it then entire visit. "I mean, I know I am fat, but my whole family is fat and it's not like I am obese or anything." Guys.... it was clearly obese. Sacré bleu. Luckily the rest of France was lovely. Bordeaux is quaint as fuck and in Paris there is almost no line for taking the stairs up the Eiffel Tower and it's dirt cheap compared to the (admittedly cool) diagonal elevators. 10/10, je reviendrais. Edit: details