Why I Hate Fat People in the Dating World To me, an attractive person who is fat is like winning the lottery and then tearing up the ticket. It pisses me off in a way, because I see the kind of love, sacrifice, affection, displays of devotion (whether asked for or not!) and even attention a pretty girl can get. I'm a guy who's tall and in shape and has the, well. You know, going on. Pretty smart, degree, hobbies, all that shit, complete package, and I know no matter what I put in into life, I'll never get that kind of adoration. So to see someone else piss it all away in favor of McDonald's and then demand to be treated like they haven't torn up their own winning ticket kind of eats at me. I try not to take it personally, but damn if it doesn't sting a bit. I mean then again maybe it's a 'damned if you do damned if you don't,' thing. I guess I'd also kinda be very slightly annoyed if someone who is pretty and gets all that kind of affection assumed everyone was treated that way- and that the world is just full of amazingly helpful people. The world is pretty Machiavellian at best. Cold and self-serving at worst. Some stuff I've gotta think about, I guess. I suppose it also ties in with my past a lot- past experiences with fat people at large. I had a childhood bully who was obese and tended to pick on me a lot for being Jewish at catholic school. I began sort of noticing how disgusting he was- everything about him grossed me out in pretty formative years in my life. Add to it that it was Catholic school and gluttony and sloth being a pair of deadly sins he was certainly guilty of, being confronted with the religion's hypocrisy (I'd never met a more hateful bunch who professed to be such little angels) and a combined environmentalist bent in me about the overconsumption of resources by a select few in the world (not advocating for open borders, more advocating for keeping the Third World so ground down that they never gain air conditioning and automotive transit!), and it's quite apparent why it is that I sort of find them both morally and physically repugnant. Think of the extra fuel burned hauling these disgusting fatties around from place to place- add a hundred pounds to every vehicle, especially one that has to get airborne. Consider the extra wear and tear on parts like tires, suspension systems, brake pads, seats, and the energy cost of manufacturing and shipping those parts.  Consider that extra cost in raising the food that they shove down their greasy slimy gullet, and the horrible smacking sounds as their claw-shaped hands reach for yet another chicken wing. Then imagine the piggish grin and "mememememememe" sense of entitlement that someone gets when they're being served at a counter. They want to be served. In an ideal scenario, businesses want their cash, and they want the product. Every time these fat fucks see something else that they want, such as a physically attractive person, they approach it the same way they do food at a fast food restaurant. The difference is, almost no one else wants them back. The most effort they are used to having to do to get something their body wants is to waddle up to it and plonk down a credit card, and the gratification is exactly as long as it takes for the order to be processed and for them to raise it to their lips, the way an addict might demand a hit. They spend extravagntly, too, as they order a meal for five and eat it in one sitting. Heck, we see stories all the time of people with such weak wills they can't even hold out long enough to pay! They waddle to the company fridge and raid it, or they start eating the food in the grocery store. And once it's consumed, it is forgotten about. No actual enjoyment is taken in the act of consumption past the vague scratching of an itch. Now, let's imagine the scenario I'm in. Imagine that this time, their card's declined at the counter. I've worked food service- I've seen them flip out and go out of control on counter workers before when their cards are declined or they forgot their wallet. To them it isn't a missed meal, it's a missed hit for a junkie. And now, instead of being mature like a normal person, or accepting it and moving on, they're berating the person at the counter. The person at the counter is a sentient person. They don't deserve this mistreatment but they're equally at the fat person's mercy. Now, to take this home, instead of a missed meal, the fat person wants a fit person- me. All that this fat person does (from my perspective) with their life is consume. And now they want to consume me. That's kind of horrifying. It's scratching that same primal itch we all have. Food, shelter, sex. No matter how you try to handle it, a rejection still sends them ballistic, swearing to ruin your life or in the fast food worker's case, to get them fired. For this reason, I consider each and every one of these people a potential menace every time I turn them down for sex or a date or whatever-they-want. They have the potential to torpedo my life over a sleight, and the power to embarrass me professionally. Lord imagine what they'd look like if they put half as much effort into working out as they do intimidating those who try to turn them down. I guess a part of that fear in me is driven by being afraid of a childhood bully- but I've had fat people blow up my phone after an awkward first date, had them threaten to show up at my jobs, at my homes, threaten my relationships, and so on. How does one handle this situation with grace and humanity, when the other party is entirely unwilling to be either graceful or human? There seems to be no answer except to steer as completely clear as possible. My ex was thin, and in my opinion cute as a button. Fat people would give her shit at work ("Eat a burger! Your boyfriend must be a gay pedophile because you look like a 14 year old boy.") because she wasn't a total cow. She'd come to me crying about it. She had low self-esteem and it was a constant uphill battle to convince her that there was nothing wrong with being, well, pretty. I just wanted to be a good boyfriend, sure, but I also got really annoyed with how people treated her. How we'd normalized looking like you're 35 by the time you're 20 because you're overweight and have tits that sag, stretch marks, and more cellulite than a barrel of cottage cheese. We've normalized obesity and its effects on the human body. People at work at the nonprofit used to give me shit for being "underweight." In truth, on the BMI chart, I'm almost overweight at 27. 30's the cutoff, 25's the "middle-normal."  I didn't know how to support her, who to point to as a role model. I didn't want to point at women who were photoshopped and not-actually-real, but it feels like people flip out about "unrealistic beauty standards." Most guys don't jack off to a photoshopped girl on a billboard or a Vogue (and I'll remind you, there are guys who jack it to hentai. What's it say that the amateur porn industry is bigger than the "pro" industry with its plastic lips and tits?) But guys will definitely fantasize about the girl next door. I just wanted to be a good boyfriend and supportive, but I felt pretty powerless to help her beyond some empty, encouraging words and desiring her as much as I did. I wish our society wasn't as fucked up as it is. We could be shaming and policing ourselves, and working our way towards fitness. Instead we've normalized excuses- "It's my thyroid/genetics," (which, frankly, there was never any sudden-selective sexual pressure towards the morbidly obese in the mid '80s and '90s popping out 10x more obese kids than normal ones). We should be biking to work, eating healthy, having outdoorsy hobbies where we enjoy nature. Instead, ho-ho's, clear cut forests for more suburbanite housing that's bigger (just like the people), and drive even bigger cars that consume even more. It's like we've doubled down on our own debilitating addiction, and it's so depressing to see.