How I Spent An Entire Movie Not Letting Fats Take Up More Than They Wanted To I'll try to keep this as short as possible, but the TL:DR is basically that fats tried to take up a shit ton of space as usual and I wasn't having any of it. So last night I went to see A Quiet Place with a friend and when we got there more than a few seats were taken, but I noticed there was an entire empty row near the back. I found out shortly after sitting down why that was. In the 4 seats in front of us, well 4 and what all their fat leaked over onto, was an assortment of small to deathfats.  Directly ahead of me was a thing that was pushing 300. In front of my friend was a beast that was well over 400. I knew immediately this was gonna be a shitshow because these bitches were pushing their fatasses so far back in these seats that their heads were practically in our laps. So me being the asshole that I am these days, and also a tad bit tipsy 'cause I likes me some vodka, I decided to be quietly dickish to the 2 fatties directly in front of us because they were the most inconveniencing. The way these cows were sitting left us barely any leg room so my friend had to basically manspread with this heifers head in their crotch almost while I was stuck sitting with my butt to one armrest and my knees to the side because I was wearing a dress and didn't want my junk exposed. Once I got my chance, I said fuck modesty and these obeasts and did what comes next. Fatty ahead of me moved forward enough that as soon as it did its seat went up the way it should have been in the first place and I sat up with my knees straight in front of me. That means that when fatty went to sit back down and try to recline like it was my knees stopped it and I forced its fatass to stay out of my lap. It tried at least twice to push that shit back, but I was not giving an inch and left my knee in place and my foot planted. It gave up after that. The other fat piece of shit is another story. My friend is an asshole in moderation and far nicer than I, so they were gonna sit there with their damn knees spread and the obeast in their lap until I pulled my shit. When the monster on their side moved up to place its now empty ginormous fucking popcorn trough on the ground and its seat went forward I threw my other leg up over my friend's so my foot was between their leg and planted in the back of the fatty's seat. It pushed back hard and I almost kneed my friend in their business, but I didn't let that fat fuck sit back either. Well, for as long as I could anyway. This fat fuck was pushing back with its weight for a while, and mind you, I already had the 300 lbs monster on my other knee. I could only hold back the fatter one with my one leg for so long and my friend caught what I was doing and told me to go ahead and put my foot down because my leg was starting to shake under fatty's weight. I did, eventually, but I did so as dickishly and funnily as possible. I pulled my foot away fast at the same time fatty was still doing its push back shit, so when I did, fatty went flying back hard and fast like it was on a seesaw and the entire row of fatty's kinda mini flew back and forward and the seat sounded like it might have cracked. Holy shit, my friend and I had to stifle the shit out of our laughter in that quiet ass movie when that happened.  Fatty wasn't done being fat and it was pissy now, but didn't turn around or say shit. It did try to sit its fat ass back again, but my friend pulled my move and put their knees up against the back of the seat and didn't let it. We got to enjoy the movie and piss off fats. Damn it feels good to be a shitlord.