I barely ever eat fast food, but one day after a kayaking session my wife and I realized we had no proteins defrosted at home and really needed to go food shopping.  Rather than shop on an empty stomach we thought, Subway why not?    We walked in and sighed, Oh fuck.  Female cow was drooling over the glass as the poor sandwich 'artist' was forced to decimate a chicken teriyaki foot long sub with piles of double meat, double cheese and glopped on heavy mayo, ranch and then, "Don't forget the diet terrrr-yaaaahhhhhkeeee dressss-innnnn...    I'm beee-innnn good tuhhhh-day!" It laughs and waits for praise from the worker, who seems to be re-evaluating their life decisions.  Crickets.  No one thinks you are funny, chubbo.    Manager comes by and asks us what we want for bread to start our order and I look at my wife and she shakes her head and grimaces in the direction of the land whale.  "Nothing for us today, we have lost our appetites.  That (nodding toward the sloppy corpse that the worker is trying to force closed and is sliding around in her hands, seeping rivers of liquid all over the cutting board and wrapper) is just too much to stomach for us.  You must be losing big time.  Yuge.  On that order...  Wow!"  We then walk out shaking our heads while the ham beast huffs and puffs about we 'skinny fuckin' people'.