The Fat Bridesmaid, Part 4: The Ham is Here to Stay For your reading pleasure, I present the fourth part in The Fat Bridesmaid saga! Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 My sister got married yesterday in our hometown where my parents and grandparents still live. The rehearsal and dinner were Friday night, and most of the bridal party and other guests were from out of town. My sister had booked a hotel block for out-of-towners at a reasonable rate, and the rehearsal dinner happened to be at the same hotel. However, The Fat Bridesmaid whined about how she couldn't afford a hotel room, and my parents had to put her up for the whole 2 days. Since I was also staying at my parents place, this meant I had to put up with The Fat Bridesmaid for a whole 2 days as well. She showed up late Friday afternoon, and pulled her car into the driveway crooked, blocking both my parents' cars in. That was only a minor annoyance, seeing as she showed up late and we needed to be leaving to the church soon. Her car would move when she drove to the church. I was finishing getting ready, and asked my sister (the bride) who would be riding in my car. Since I'm pregnant and can't have any alcohol, I figured it made the most sense for me to drive to/from the church and the dinner, so that everyone else could have a few drinks. My sister tells me that aside from my husband and I, I will also have to take our other sister and our cousin, who are both bridesmaids too. Then she says I will also have to take Hamderella. I have a tiny car, and I KNOW there's no way in Hell that the butter beast will fit in the back seat of my car with my sister and cousin. So I ask, rather bluntly, "Why do I have to take {The Fat Bridesmaid}? Can't she get a ride with you and your fiance?" My sister tells me no, because the two of them have to go to the hall between the church and dinner to set up a few things, and Hamderella doesn't want to go with them. "Well, she drove herself here, can't she drive herself to the hall?" My sister says no, citing the reason that Hamderella was just stuck in traffic for 3 hours and is too tired to drive. I didn't want to upset my sister, so I didn't argue with her any further, and accepted the looming fate of my car's rear suspension. My sister and her fiance left for the church around 5:30. The rehearsal was for 6 o'clock, and the church was about 15 minutes away. I announced to the rest of the bridesmaids that we would be leaving at 5:40. Hamderella is still upstairs in the bathroom getting ready. I peek my head into the bathroom to let her know we will be leaving in 5 minutes. Hamderella's make-up and toiletries were spread all over the counter, which is maybe 4 feet long with a standard-sized sink in the middle. I should add that even though 4 of us were sharing this bathroom over the weekend, The Fat Bridesmaid didn't think it was necessary to clean up her shit and give the rest of us any room during her entire stay. "I'm not ready yet!" she grunts. I replied, "well, hurry up, we're going to be late." I went downstairs to wait with my parents and the rest of the bridal party. 5 more minutes pass, and now it's time to leave. We all start putting our coats and shoes on. Hamderella still isn't ready. I yell upstairs to her, "come on, we have to go!" "I'm not done yet!" she barks. "We're going to be late!" I shouted back. My other sister and I are sharing the maid-of-honour duties, so we didn't have the luxury of showing up late to the church. My mom could clearly see that I was getting frustrated, so she suggests that the 4 of us go ahead, and my parents will drive The Fat Bridesmaid to the church with them. We got to the church right on time, and started without Hamderella or my parents. The reverend decided to talk us through the procedure while we were waiting. My parents and The Fat Bridesmaid showed up late, with her huffing and puffing as she waddled to join the rest of us near the altar. The rest of the evening was largely uneventful. Thankfully, The Fat Bridesmaid wasn't seated at our table during dinner. Unfortunately, she was put at the same table as Fitbro from Part3 and was making a pathetic attempt to flirt with him most of the night. My husband graciously went over to rescue him after our meal was finished. TL;DR: Fat Bridesmaid wants to hitch a ride with me to the church for the rehearsal, I end up leaving without her. My parents bring her instead and she makes them late. Later in the evening, she tries hitting on Fitbro, (obviously) to no avail. Edit: Read The Fat Bridesmaid, Part 5: "I could lose weight if I wanted to" here