A quick story about why I hate fat people I love to bake, like most humans. There is something about making your own food that is empowering and satisfying. When you bake, you know exactly what is in your food. I'm appalled by the lack of culinary know how in my age group (I'm heading off to collage next year), but I guess it makes sense given how most of them are hams. But I digress.  My favorite things to bake are by far desserts. Now I know what you are thinking, but I'm not talking about the shit you make from a box or the sugar infused bettus garbage you can pick up from the local Giant. I'm talking about custards, souffles, cheese cake,  good dark chocolate, Creme Brulee, chocolate moose, stuff that takes time, skill, and most of all, effort to make. Something obeats have none of. And as normal, moderation is key. If I want a good dessert, I will normally make it on Thursday, have a normal human serving, take some in for my human friends at school the next day, and bring the rest to work on Saturday for all my hard working shitlord co-workers. I can make desserts all the time and still be slim because I eat desserts in moderation. I only eat what I feel like I should eat. Hams do not. A long ass time ago, when I was about ten or eleven, my fat ass aunt and uncle visited my fam. It was also this weekend was when I made my first chocolate souffle. If you aren't familiar with souffles, they are a savory egg based dish that are tricky to make. Eggs are very quick to cook when exposed to open heat, and they don't last long out of the shell. So making a souffle is a balancing act of temping the egg yokes to make sure they don't turn into scrambled eggs, making the support with the eye yokes and taking great care when folding the filling and support together quickly but not too rough. It's a dish that takes a lot of time too. The recipe that I used called for over an hour of cook time, long enough for the run of the mill bettus monster to fall into a diabetic coma in anticipation.  So I make my amazing chocolate souffle, with some help from my dad (the heavy mixing demanded more muscle than my smoll body had). The oven dings, and my ham aunt waddles in. Now my ham aunt is just as wide as she is tall, and is a hoarder with racist and anti-Jewish beliefs. Not very relevant to the story, but she is a horribly person inside and out. She says in her annoying ham voice something along the lines that it will be good after dinner snack. Typical ham, not knowing that souffles are best served hot (but chilled chocolate souffle tastes pretty good too). So after a dinner that took way to long, my mom brings out my souffle. My ham aunt and uncle coo over it, and help themselves. Between the two of them, they easily take over 3/4 of the souffle. And this was a normal size souffle dish too, so that's a lot of food. The other three members of my fam have to take smaller than normal servings so everyone at the table could have some. I only got a small serving, the size of a golf ball. I watched my ham aunt and uncle eat their huge servings of a dish that I worked hard on. They didn't even like it, they just shoveled it into their maw. It's a savory dish, it's bent to be eaten slowly with something that complements it, like good ice cream or fresh whip cream. It's called moderation.  After they left the house, I made another one. It was delicious, but I still was mad about ham aunt and uncle.