Fats are like children, case #375 This just happened this morning. My shitlordy (200 lb, 6'5") boyfriend has this very good friend from college who lives across the state from us - and as a result, we don't see him more than about once a year. This friend has always been fat, but has recently taken a turn for the deathfat. He is 40, about 6' and probably 350-400 lbs. So, boyfriend and this college friend work in the same field, and boyfriend needed someone to come to town to help him with a project. As a result, deathfat friend is sleeping on my couch until tomorrow (and I have already been promised all kinds of groveling to make up for this.) This morning, when I left for my run, he was asleep (around 7 am.) When I got back at 8, he was still asleep, until my boyfriend eventually woke him up because they had to get to work. I'm putzing around, getting my coffee and getting ready to go, when I see deathfat friend reach into our freezer. Huh, that's weird. There's nothing breakfasty in there, maybe he wants ice - Nope. Nope. At 8:30 in the goddamn morning, this guy was helping himself to an ice cream bar. An ice cream bar. I actually said out loud, "That's amazing," and didn't realize I'd spoken aloud until he was like, "It's not THAT amazing." And then proceeded to get really defensive about how it was cold and he wanted something cold first thing in the morning. Like, what the fuck. That's something child daydreams about. "When I'm all grown up, I'm gonna have ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST." And meanwhile he keeps bitching about how fat he is and what a fucking mystery it is. How it's probably his fucking thyroid. Boyfriend just texted and said that they've been out for food twice already and only gotten a couple things on their list done. That's what you get for bringing in a fucking fat when you needed a real person to do a job.