Showed up to a research study thinking it was about allergies. Turns out 90 percent of the creatures had the beetus, heart disease or high blood pressure. I am taking a few months off from work to recover from a surgery I recently had. Im able to get around but I can't do any lifting over 10 pounds for 2 months. There is a research company down the street and I got an email from them. They pay you $125 bucks to participate in a 90 minute research study. I'm like "holy mother of God that's like 15 chipotle burrito bowls WITH GUAC!!!"  So I signed up and on the health survey I checked I had seasonal allergies. The day before the study they called me and asked which of the following I had: diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease or seasonal allergies. I firmly said allergies and thought to myself "why the fuck is she asking if I'm a cow?" I didn't think much about it until the next day.  I get to the research place and it's extremely nice. I check in and the woman directs me across the hall and says I can help myself to soft drinks and snacks. Since I don't eat junk food or drink soda I grab a water. Oh btw chipotle is NOT junk food. It's heaven and I sometimes get hard thinking about it. Ok nvm too far. So here I am walking into the waiting area with my water and I see seven. Yes SEVEN enormous fucking swamp donkeys huffing and puffing in their chairs. I find a chair in the corner and squeeze my way through the madness. 4 of them had 3 cans of soda in front of them and the other 3 had 2 each. All of them had either cookies or candy wrappers in their hands or on the table in front of them. Another ham walks in and I see the what's behind the door. Turns out there is a cabinet full of soda and junk food in the waiting area as well.  Apparently 2 of the lard buckets knew each other and are talking across the room about random shit. I'm always conscious of my environment not to piss anyone off by talking too loud or doing something that a reasonable person would consider bothersome. Fat fucks don't care. It's all about them and their beetus. Next to one of the butter munchers was a fat SJW feminist with a Killary shirt on. I should mention I live in a very liberal area and it's cuck central. My state has a republican governor but my county voted 80-20 for the liberal cuck. I have a 2A bumper sticker to piss pussies off for the lolz. Someone new walks in. An extremely skinny black dude who I could tell works in IT or some similar field. I see his face. He's mortified. Turns out he's foreign and has probably never seen so many fat fucks together in his life. He looked African so I'm assuming he knows someone who is starving or even he was famished at one point in his life. Wait was that racist? Probably if you check my comment history lolz. Don't give a fuck. Anyway a few more Jigglypuffs walk in and the woman comes in to get us to sign papers. There is a jar of pens on the table. I get up and grab 2 pens. One for me and one for the other human in the room. The hams are struggling to get up. It's priceless. I started to look around for a hidden camera cuz this shit was fucking hilarious. I got a stare from a ham for not getting her a pen. Her face said it all. "You white, male, thin privileged mother fucker!!!! (Similar to this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g67z_xBe07Q) Have I mentioned that the entire time there was huffing, puffing and a ton of blowing the house down going on? It sounded like a jack hammer malfunctioning at the construction site for Trump Tower! Seriously it was a replica of the family guy scene where Peter is having the fat guys meeting during the fat guy strangler episode. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWdik29MTrE Ok fast forward to the study. We each have our own computer and headset to watch a show and the commercials. The study was based on our reaction to the drug commercials during the show. Mine was a nasal spray for allergies. The hams to either side of me were for the beetus and some other ham disorder. We were given instructions not to leave the room for any reason. One ham gets up and says "I need to use the bathroom." He forces his way out even after his request was denied. He comes back 10 minutes later and has not one, not two but three cans of soda. Two for him and one for the fucking lard with 6 pairs of tits next to him. Unbelievable.  I had to get my shitlord moment in so I raced through the surgery and was the first to finish. Everyone finished the video at the same time but hams take forever clicking through the survey. I turned in my paper and collected my prepaid Visa card. I walk out and said "ahhh the air does not smell like absolute ass out here!" I wasn't done. Also shook up the sodas on the way out. Spent half of my gift card on Fallout 4  Fucking. Hams.