Late night ranting. Preface: I am a volunteer EMT/firefighter trainee. Tonight is my duty night. When it gets around time for everyone to sleep, the bunk room quickly fills up with other members of the department. Me and a select few others sleep in the TV room where we enjoy the solitude and big comfy chairs to sleep on. Tonight, I walk in the TV room only to see Hamplanet taking 3 whole chairs for himself. From his mouth erupts the most thunderous fucking snore you can imagine. I can literally feel my eardrums vibrating with each tremor. It's the type of high-decibel noise that could give a person long-term hearing damage. I can't even make this shit up if I wanted to. That's what happens when your neck is so bulbous that it squeezes your trachea until you fail at breathing properly, the most basic human function. This isn't even this Hamplanet's shift night to be here. He just crashed because why the hell not? I literally don't even know Hamplanet's role in the department. Is he an EMT? I fucking hope not, he's certainly not fit to even lift a patient. He barely even knows proper CPR. Firefighter? I wouldn't be surprised if they let him pass that class in fear of him suing them (muh equal rights). Hamplanet is unpleasant to be around. When he eats, it sounds like Jabba the Hut choking on dick. Last week on my shift night, I was trying to do work on one of the station's computers when he shows up (again, it wasn't his duty night, literally no reason for him to be here) with a bowl of cereal (you're not allowed to eat near the computers but I guess he does whatever the fuck he wants).With every spoonful he took of that Raisin Bran, I could hear the spoon clinking against his teeth. I could hear the vacuum of air as he struggled to create adequate suction around the spoon. Even as he chewed with his mouth closed, I could hear a gush from the mixture of cereal and milk being crushed in between his teeth. After he finished a bite, he would let out an audible sigh of relief, because I guess holding your breath is a fucking Olympic achievement when your internal organs are being choked from your heavy mass. After each successful swallow he would literally sigh and say "oh my god... oh god...". I literally can't make this shit up. It's revolting. I had to leave the computer because he was too distracting. Sometimes I see Hamplanet at the local community college. Despite him being around 40-50 years old, he's taking algebra-level classes which he always complains is so much work. Hamplanet doesn't take care of his appearances. His beard is uneven and too long. The little hair he has left is always sticking up in different directions. When I see Hamplanet at the college, he is wearing our fire department attire. What this means is that he is wearing a jacket/hat reading STATION [NUMBER], [CITY NAME]. I feel he makes our department look trashy. I'm embarrassed and ashamed to be part of the department when I see him walking in public with that. I can picture people saying behind his back "that station would really accept him into the department? They must have low standards.". And you know what, I don't blame them for saying that. I wouldn't feel safe if I were in a life-threatening emergency and he was the first person I saw. So here I am, typing this at 4am because Hamplanet has taken my only place to rest. Maybe I'll sleep in the ambulance. Either way, I've got 6 hours of classes tomorrow, and I'm gonna be fucking miserable. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Apologies if I made grammatical mistakes; I'm very tired.