The Dangers of Fats Case #4573 Hello my delightful shit lords and ladies, here is another instalment of why fat people are truly awful creatures.  This is long but it's worth the read. As some of you know, I recently sustained a serious injury and can't climb. Instead of going with fat logic and taking this as 'an excuse to get comfortable and be kind to myself' (words from the mouth of a ham), I opted to be you know, intelligent and committed, and focus on training and lowering my CI to prevent gaining weight from limited mobility. As a result I have actually trimmed down even more and am surprisingly stronger than pre injury. I'm focusing on core and upper body because of a significant knee injury, so I spend a lot of time in my local climbing centre doing Russian twists, pull ups, altered squats etc in their nice but cosy training room. Context provided, let's begin the story.  Yesterday I showed up to the centre as usual, was doing some strength and resistance training with a friend who also has an injury in the training room. We were there for a few hours, pushing each other, making sure we were both doing our work outs with proper engagement and the occasional neutral neck when needed) and really pushing ourselves. Usually the centre is nice and quiet during the day bar the rare but bearable children's coaching, with things picking up after 5pm or so.  We took a break around 5.30 and were shooting the shit with some of our friends who had just arrived. From the table we were at we could see an induction class arrive. First timers, excited and nervous in equal measure. Generally speaking given the nature of the sport, climbing centres very rarely have fats frequent them, unless at an induction, this was no different.  Out of the group of excitable new people, there were 3 significantly larger than life (i.e. early deaths ahoy!) individuals spilling across the padded mats by the children's wall.  Brand new expensive work out gear? Check. Styled immaculate hair? Check. Full face of caked on make up? Check. Jewellery despite the safety form explicitly stating NO JEWELLERY no matter what? Check. Fawning over the male climbers and giving female climbers the stink eye? Oh you betcha!  Anyway, I noticed the fats out of the corner of my eye and saw that they were excluding some of the smaller girls present for the class. Surprise surprise. Then a particularly hot instructor came out to teach them. You could almost see the drooling dripping from their double chins in desire. It was like he was an XL pepperoni pizza and side of taco fries with extra cheese for them, their hunger/lust was so explicit.  Distracted by their unfulfilled sexual needs (hurk!), the fatties clearly weren't listening to a word he was saying, and spent most of their time trying to out 'sexy grunt' each other during the warm up and stretching. It was awful, I had to actually move my chair and have my back to them. Sadly this didn't prevent me from hearing them squealing in pain from minor almost non existent stretching, complaining that the warm up was too intensive and they just wanted to get on the walls already (as we all know, fats are all about instant gratification). It was so frustrating and distracting that I downed my tea and headed back into the training room to use my disgust to push through a few more sets of Russian twists with 8, 16, 20, 5, 3 kilo cow bells (really good if you want to strengthen your core, and a delightful feeling the next day.) As I finish my 4th set post tea I can hear the fats on the mat outside at the slab wall, potentially the most psyching out wall we have (you feel off balance even seasoned climbers express their dislike of this slab wall, it can really freak you out, especially because if you fall there's a big chance you might smack a hold or two on your way down). I can hear the instructor telling them all that this wall is scary and that he doesn't expect anyone to really finish the route but kudos if they do! Of course hams immediately start making excuses that they don't want to try the route and want to do something easier to build up to the slab (the slab is actually significantly easier than over hangs, or serious inclines, it just feels super funky to be on). I hear the instructor say that they can wait for everyone else but they should try the slab if they can. Grumbled fat moans commence.  While doing some campassing to increase my finger strength I can hear them getting impatient and nagging the instructor. He refuses to move on from the slab until "everyone else who paid for the induction has had a go" (this dude is really nice so I know that that sentence is a sign he is losing his patience, an exceptionally difficult feat to achieve with this laid back instructor). Finally the final newbies are finished (bar the fats who refused) and there are cheers from everyone and some snarky passive aggressive "woohoo! Finally we can try something ELSE yay!" BS from the hams. I feel the mats shift under their weight as they trundle off to the next section, breath a sigh of relief and get back into my rhythm, slowly allowing my fingers to take my body weight for a couple of seconds, standing, and dipping again. This is an exercise that needs to be done slowly and gently as you can easily damage a finger or tendon if you aren't careful and bad finger issues can be even worse than anything. While doing a controlled breathing out hanging from my finger tips on the campas board I suddenly hear a huge yell followed by a blood curdling scream and then a huge commotion of movement. I nearly fell from the board hearing the scream, it was so jolting and terrifying.  My friend and I look at each other as we know something major has gone down (ironic to say considering what we later found out transpired). There are these awful moans and a "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry" emanating from behind the training room.  We go out to see what's going on, shit is serious and it might be a friend who's been hurt. First we see white stricken faces everywhere, people look ill with shock and there are two staff with a look of horror on their faces. A friend runs over to us and tells us we don't want to see, it's bad, it isn't one of our friends, but it's bad. It's "sickening". We listen to them and stay in front of the training room. A few seconds later the blue and red lights of an ambulance start shining into the car park as the ambulance pulls in. The paramedics hop out and go full sprint into the centre. That's not good. We can still hear the moans and someone now saying they're going to be sick. The staff are silent. The paramedics rush past us. After a few moments, one of them with a staff member hurriedly go back to the ambulance. Oh fuck. They come back with a stretcher, the moans from behind us has all but stopped and we can hear a gentle "you're going to be okay. Really. We're going to bring you to the hospital now. Is there anyone you need us to call? Anyone who can go to [x] hospital?". Okay, seriously fucking bad. Stretcher passes us and we hear the "this will hurt for a moment, I'm sorry but we have to move you. Okay? Count of 3. 1, 2, 3" deep intake of pained breath, expulsion of said breath and gentle whimpers of serious pain. They pass us, it's one of the guys I know vaguely. He used to climb a few years back, pulled his groin badly and had been out for a year recovering and only really started back in December. Nice guy, was super stoked to get back to climbing and the centre. He looks awful. There's a blanket over him, to keep him warm from the shock, so we can't tell what the injury is, but his face shows it's agony. Pale with a thinge of green, sweaty, eyes clamped shut. There's a solemn silence as he is stretched out. No one is climbing, either from the shock or out of respect. He's loaded into the ambulance and they whisk him off. There's silence for a few moments. I see the instructor slowly walking to the office, he looks haggard and traumatized. His boss follows closely behind, the same. We soon found out what happened. Despite the guidelines, the safety list and everything else the fats had had to read and sign off on, they had completely ignored the rules and were climbing into other people's routes (Big NO NO!). One of the fats had been impatient and when the instructor wasn't paying attention (because he was carefully guiding someone through their route!), she had tried to get onto a route. On a level way harder than possible for her. She had gotten half way up, freaked out and started 'rainbowing' (where you climb various mixes of colours that aren't a route but can be used to climbing down) and had climbed into this guy's space. He had given her a polite "careful" to let her know he was there, she freaked out, and basically threw herself down and onto him, while he was trying a rock over. His foot rotated on the hold while she barrelled full weight into his body, twisting him around before knocking him off. His foot was still on that hold when he was ripped from the wall. His ankle got off lightly, a bad sprain probably, it was his leg that was fucked. His lower leg snapped. In half. How do people know? Because it was fucking protruding through the skin! That's why everyone was freaking out and almost puking. This stupid fucking fat hardly hurt herself but managed to literally break someone's leg in half. She has 100% prevented this guy from being able to climb again. It will be months before he is will independent. This stupid monster's actions have basically maimed this dude. If this was his career he would be fucked for life. Fucking hams.