I think it's more that just being someone willing to stand up for yourself and the people important to you, having any sense of dignity or adult bearing, marks one as an asshole/bitch. Basically if someone isn't a pathetic passive agressive piece of shit they're an "asshole". Of course that's more attractive. Whether it's a man or a woman on either side of things.  The issue is that "nice" by todays standards isn't nice. It's being a coward who backs away from both the most  minor disagreement and the biggest real world issue.  Take any given hero from the past and you'll find someone who by todays standards is an "asshole". But they're not. It's just that people have become so shit that they don't even know what responsible behavior is anymore.