Hamplanet roommate rant I'm currently a freshman in college, and my roommate is so fucking fat and disgusting that it makes me miserable in some way every single day. I don't even know where to fucking begin with this, but I guess I'll start with the obvious: the food. He eats almost constantly. He goes to the dining hall several times a day, and still frequently buys fast food or orders food to loudly eat in our room. He's always waddling in with fries, hot wings, burgers, copious amounts of Chinese food or anything else you can think of, from anyplace nearby with food he can easily bring back to our room and cram down his greedy gullet as he watches Vine videos on his computer, in his bed, occasionally letting out a food-muffled chuckle at whatever dumb, vapid bullshit he's watching. He regularly has to refill the fairly large box he uses to store his chips, candy, microwaveable food, and general unhealthy shit he loves so much. There's a box of granola bars of some sort in there, which I think has been there since the beginning of the semester. He wastes so much money on food that his parents were apparently considering more tightly restricting, or even cutting off, his access to the credit card they gave him. He didn't care. I don't think they did it, because the gluttony hasn't gotten any better. Every day when I head back to the dorm, I pray to whatever higher power there may be that he's downstairs playing pool or doing something else, so that I can have the room to myself and get some work done in peace with no heavy breathing and no bags of chips or other junk food crinkling all the time. If the door isn't locked, my heart immediately sinks because I know he'll be in there, and I'll open the door to be punched in the face by some disgusting smell and to the always-pleasant sound of him munching on some shitty food. Also, at night, he's constantly snoring unbearably loudly, intermittently making moaning or whining noises for up to 10 seconds at a time, before going back to snoring. Having a fat fuck for a roommate sucks shit. I would not recommend it.