Should I Kill Myself? I discovered this site a couple of weeks ago. I am 9 months postpartum, and I weighed 315 lbs 3 weeks ago. As of this morning, I weigh 295 lbs. But after reading some of the sit on FPH, I kind of feel like I don't deserve to live anymore. Like my baby would be better off without a fat mom. I was a 3 sport varsity athlete and a collegiate athlete, but now I feel ashamed to leave my house. My face gets bright red whenever someone looks at me. I'm ashamed of who I am right now.   So I guess if you were me, would you actually kill yourself? Because that is the number 1 piece of advice I have found here, and I think I'm going to.