Also German (southern) here. That Spätzle abomination is so funny that I'm tempted to try it out. I do eat a lot of Spätzle and cured meat and cheese and pickles, but not those horrific garbage versions described in the post. I encountered a similar opinion in Arizona where a woman was completely certain that Bratkartoffeln contain mayonnaise. x) She wasn't fat, though, only a bit confused.