Let's focus on the good things fatties do for us Obviously this is satire, but it's still fun. -Everything is labeled with its nutrition information, so it's really easy to hit your calories and macros. -Portion sizes in restaurants are way too big so you can eat out fairly cheap, either sharing with another normal-sized person or simply taking the leftovers home. -You're at least a 7/10 in terms of looks by just not being fat.   -If you do any amount of exercise, you are literally Adonis/Aphrodite in comparison to the majority of the population. -Fatties turn the AC up way too high, so if you have to wear a suit to work you won't sweat your balls off. -They have tried to deep fry everything and thus have found some delicious combinations (had a deep fried chocolate truffle once, it was awesome). -They support the fast food industry and thus provide jobs to millions of people. -In the event you ever find yourself being chased by a bear, all you have to do is find a fat person to run by and you'll be fine. -Doctor's offices now have some seriously comfortable, big chairs. -If they are more than 50% fat then they will float in water, so that hamplanet beside you on the airplane can be used as an emergency flotation device. -They make normal-sized pregnant women feel less self-conscious about themselves, as they are assured there will be many people with much bigger bellies to gawk at. Feel free to add your own.