Great entertainment at the gym this morning Earlier at the gym, I decided to do some light lifting in the conditioning room. I was in the functional training section when I saw it behind me. There's this fit guy next to me, doing some stretching, but this thing was way at the back of the gym. I saw it looking at him, then at me. It waddled forward allllllll the way to where we were. Shitlord next to me immediately took off when it arrived. I was just starting, and I needed to stand my ground. ROAR!    It was well put together: make up, hair done, fancy new workout clothes, flashy baby pink nike shoes (I bet it lurks here... REEEEE). It took a mat and (wait for it) put it down right in front of me, while there was plenty of space further left. I was working my back with some dead-rows when it took the tabletop position and proceeded to execute the most unbalanced bird-dog in the history of fitness. It being in front of me, and myself being bent over, I could see the thing flop around with its udders hovering the floor. I contained my laughter, but had the biggest smile on.    My next sequence was a mix of biceps and shoulders. It looked at me smiling while exercising and frowned. Did I trigger something at the gym? Oh I love this shit!! It took its cellphone out and started texting. After what I assume was a few texts back and forth with piggy friend, it decides to take 3lbs dumbells and mimic my sequence, very, very badly. Then I started laughing. And I couldn't stop. I had to take a water break. I guess that's what happen when you have the core strength of a slug.    After about a minute of me having my back to it, I turn around and there it was, sitting criss-cross doing alternate shoulder press with 3lbs. Fatty can't stand to insure proper form??? Probably too exhausted after that 4min mile on the treadmill. OK whatever.     I was back on target and halfway through my triceps sequence, not paying too much attention to it. But then what I saw will surely give me nightmares tonight. It was in a reverse tabletop pose and thrusting up and down uncontrollably and looking in the mirror, but not at itself. It was looking at the guys in the weightlifting area. I thought: those poor dudes... they will be fatty's masturbation material without consent. I gagged at the idea... Aaaand I was done with the gym for the day.