Thanks for the recommendations! She'd definitely flip out if I did steps 1, 2 and 3. I think I might settle for the hair and make up and long hug. The small peck isn't my style at all (and I wouldn't want to do it) I will definitely compliment him though. She's been slowly turning him into a fat fat. He used to be chubby but was losing the weight and then blam, this ball of butter rolled into his life and has slowly isolated him and fattened him up as her prize cow. I'm very disappointed and disgusted that he's let himself get like this, it upsets me as his quality of life is reduced, on top of which his mum had heart issues too. I think Hammy's a feeder and knows that by keeping him fat and unattractive, he'll feel so lucky to have her. It's abuse. Hopefully my thinness and some light flirting will boost his esteem. I might sneak in a comment about him maybe joining me for training one day. And I'll make sure to laugh at his jokes, she constantly tells him he isn't funny. Nothing like feeding someone so much needed compliments to make their ego question certain life sentences choices. Fatty knows he's fancied me in the past. She tried to get me drunk and convince me to have a threesome with them. I was not impressed at all. (Ironically for an 'anorexic little thing' I can hold my booze pretty well on occasion.) I was pretty verbal about my annoyance and offense at the whole thing and did say that I'm very shallow and they both know that I'm only attracted to people who are fit or slim. It tried to get offended but I told it drunkenly I was entitled to be attracted to attractive things.  I hope Fatty would just hurry up and have a heart attack at this stage.