Fat POS brags about gaining 60lbs while his wife lost 40lbs. I work in a retail environment (so customers tell us highly personal things for some reason even though we are total strangers)  Middle aged man comes in with a huuuuuge gross and stiff potbelly.  My coworker was talking about how her brother has a gut and a cap on so we will recognize him when he comes in.   The round man comments that he is the same, just gained 60lbs and his wife lost 40lbs, roars with laughter.  "Pretty good deal I guess, huh?" while rubbing his third-trimester-with-triplets protuberance.  So hopefully he gets dumped by his now human wife.