My SO and I just had a heart-to-heart about our eating and drinking habits. We were getting lazy, eating garbage and drinking like alcoholics. I was putting on weight and he was losing muscle mass. We looked back on the days when we felt confident strutting around without clothes and showing off our looks. We agreed it was time to shape up and we've already made excellent progress. That gross out-of-shape state we were in? I weighed 139 pounds at 5'6" and he was down to 160 at 6'1". THAT'S WHERE YOU DRAW THE LINE. Not 200 and 300 pounds, not when you're two 150-pound skinnyfat disasters, you call it out the minute it starts to waver because there is no reason to wait for it to get worse. It's not abusive, it's loving. It's how he knew my depression was overwhelming me and I needed help. It's how I knew he was a nervous wreck and had trouble coping with grief. Letting your body fall apart is a sign that something is WRONG, and a compassionate partner will not stand by and watch that happen to someone they love.