Never been able to figure this one out.  GF and I swing and 95% percent of the people we meet at parties are butterhuffers.  I mean, you're putting yourself out there to be naked and judged by strangers.  Wouldn't it cross your mind to take care of yourself first?  Ah well, just lets me shitlord at swinger parties.  Nothing breaks a cow's ego like being rejected at an orgy.