Hamtard the pug-eyed human hybrid: Reset. I didn't work with hamtard today, but my coworkers and I did enjoy quite a bit of shit-talking. I learned a lot about her awkward "conversation tactics" today. Quite a few shocked me. But first, the title. "Reset." Every day, when hamtard waddles into work, she comes in with a fresh start. Not the kind you hope for when you've fucked your life up or ruined a relationship. No. She literally remembers nothing of her job. I trained her personally. The only person who knows more than me about this job aside from the other manager is my best friend and fellow shitlord, who will be called blonde 4eyes only because I know she will low key hate me for it. Hamtard cannot to this day, make a milkshake. She's been employed with us since february.  One day 3 of us watched in awe and disbelief as it took hamtard 15 minutes to make 3 sundays. Anyone else? 5 minutes at most.  HT: "What's a hot dog basket?" "2 hotdogs, make it a combo." HT: (O-O;) "ooook....." "Hamtard, he wants 2 hotdogs, make it a combo, fries and a drink." HT: (O-O;) "oook..." She stood there, staring at the screen for a solid minute like everything I told her was in another language and the print on the screen was japanese.  Naturally, and angrily, I stepped up to the register and quickly said "2 hotdogs all the way sir?" He was politely containing laughter, "yes" "and fries and a drink?" "Yes."  I stabbed the order into the screen and told her "there you go. Hot dog basket. Got it?" A week later, she asked me again. "What's a hotdog basket?" "Hamtard get out of the drive thru I swear to god!" Hamtard does not learn. She does not function. And recently I learned I can't even trust her enough to do dishes without fear of impending doom.  Useless. Fat. Fuck. Today I learned that she once walked up to blonde 4eyes and said (O-O;) "I'm sterile" Just.... no leading up to the conversation. Nothing previously discussed along those lines. Just "I'm sterile." Hamtard also likes to come through drive through a couple times a week on her days off. She gets 2 orders of fries, extra seasoned salt, and an extra large Dr pepper.  My new girl, sweet petite, was in drive thru taking money and orders.  HT: "Do you work here?" (Let me point out she is wearing a specific work shirt with the store name on it, visor and all) SP: "yes.....?" HT: "Oh. Me too." SP: "Ok...." HT: "I'll see you tomorrow." SP: "ok....bye!" SP said it was the most awkward conversation of her life.