They're big boys As I was reading the thread about the hams in the grocery store I remembered this story from some years ago. A friend of mine worked at a law firm where the secretary told some stories about her two teenage sons. She said "they're big boys". My friend, not being a ham, thought she meant they were big, muscular boys. He was wrong. They were hawgs. Their ages were something like 14 and 16. Every morning for breakfast she would feed them a pound of bacon and a pound of sausage to split, then a dozen eggs apiece, plus biscuits.  They would scarf soft drinks during the day. Then when they came home for dinner they had their big meal of the day. She described a table laden with food that these hams would gobble.  Of course they did no exercise whatsoever. The older one was already so fat that his thighs chafed against each other. His mother rubbed them with baby oil or something to help this. Can you imagine being a 16 year old boy whose mother rubbed baby oil on your inner thighs? Their father weighed about 400 pounds. I'm sure that's what the boys weigh now.