Qdoba Safari I am currently on a trip and have found myself in the perfect environment to go on a safari: Kansas.  As I pull into the Qdoba (Basically slightly nicer Taco Bell) I notice the distinct lack of trucks. Now, this is Kansas so you'd expect trucks, right?  Oh well. I walk into the restaurant and I see a herd of about 10 butterhuffers sitting and stuffing burritos into their maws. The matriarch, the fattest, greasiest creature I've ever set eyes on, was holding a huge burrito in its paws. This thing was loaded with pulled pork, ham (cannibalism!), and an unintelligible mass of other beetus-inducing slop. The others also were feeding, on different but equally disgusting concoctions. I try to ignore them and order my usual: Beef and cheese quesadilla. When I sit down, the first thing I notice is that the Matriarch is glaring at me with its piggy eyes. It grunts out something unintelligible, and when I fail to reply, it bellows, "AH SAYD, BOI YU NEED SUM MEET ON DEM BOWNS! GIT WUT WE GAWT AND YULL BEE A REEEEL MAYN!" I shake my head and continue eating my beef and cheese quesadilla. When I am finished, I wipe my fingers and look over to see that the creatures have also finished, but are licking their paws. I don't mean the usual thing that some, less mature humans do, I mean it was paws into maws. I walk out the door, but of course the 'ding' from the bell alerts the beasts to my departure, and I get a last glare. I guess that would explain the lack of trucks, hams can't fit in them. What did I expect, in the Midwest?