My Hippocritical Grandma. Good Morning FPH.   Here's a gem from Sunday.  Every Sunday, my family gathers at my grandmas for lunch. I say lunch, the food is all frozen and cheap, thrown in the oven and served like a buffet.   It takes up an entire dining table, and all the food is golden brown: Sausage rolls, chicken nuggets, chips, onion rings, samosas, mozzarella sticks etc. Of course this is the reason everyone gathers at my grandma's, for their weekly trough feeding, because my grandma is a bitter, racist, homophobic, Irish catholic, obese asshole who hates almost everyone and everything. My grandfather died when I was 17, he was the greatest person in my family, and I genuinely believe he let the heart attack take him because he couldn't put up with my grandma's vileness (physically and mentally) anymore.  So, as I said, my grandma is a bitter old hag, and really doesn't like me that much because I'm gay and does not hold back from telling me every Sunday that her friends are praying for me. So the basis of Sunday is sitting around, eating and letting my grandma catch up on the familys news, and she'll spout some religious or xenophobic crap vaguely related to what the conversation subject is.   For instance, my grandma doesn't mind my sister 'living in sin' with her fiancé before the wedding, because she wants to eventually have a large family, so that apparently reverses the sin or some shit.  My uncle (her son) on the other hand, is damned for eternity because he dare marry a Turkish woman, have two kids, and live in a country in Europe where the major religion is not Catholicism.   So the point in the story: I'm the only one out of my hamily that couldn't give a shit about my grandma and her opinions. And this week I was stressed from work, tired, and generally not able to tolerate her shit.  After exchanging pleasant small talk about work and the weather: "Well, me and the other ladies are still praying for you, but you know nothing will happen until you STOP living in sin..." "Uh huh, well thanks anyway" "It hurts me EnchantedWhatNow, it hurts me to see you living that way. Living with so much sin."  At this point everyone (excluding my mother and me, who had filled our plates sufficiently) is on their first plate of high stacked beetus, and shovelling it in their snouts like its gonna disappear any minute.  "Gluttony's a sin isn't it?" "Sorry, what?"  "Gluttony, thats a sin."  The room is silent, and everyone is staring at me with a disappointed look.    HOW DARE I TALK ABOUT GLUTTONY AT BEETUS LUNCH.   My mother being the field mouse of the family decides to speak up, and says that I'm being rude and if I don't have anything nice to say then don't say it.  What does grandma have to say? Nothing.   What does all the hams in the room have to say about it? Nothing.   They all look at me with disgust, sigh and tut, then go back to their stuffing their faces and change the subject.  YEH BECAUSE IM THE SHAME OF THE FAMILY YOU OBEASTS. Rant over.  TL;DR: Obese, racist, homophobic, catholic grandma tries to call me out for being gay and living a life of sin while all the hams in my family stuff their faces at lunch with beetus, I ask if gluttony is a sin and everyone thinks I'm the asshole.