Fucking Walmart.... So there I was at the ass crack of dawn, zero dark early if you will; getting the ingredients the spousal unit needs to magic a chocolate cake out of nothing. Peanut butter, Real mayo, cocoa, confectioner's sugar, all in the affirmative. Enter she who must not be seen. I felt it's presence before I saw it, the GUNT. Staring at the beetus inducing agents in the grey and blue basket and breathing heavy, the intensity she eyeballed  me with as I collected the last of the quest items was nearly physical. Then it spoke to me, "Youmakinhomemadecake?" I weighed (lol) my options and decided that this thing did not deserve my time. Me- Yes, thank you... start walking away Gunt- Isitferaperty? Me- Generally yes, cakes are for parties. Gunt- CanIbringmuhkids? Me- Excuse me? ***I shit you not, this obeast actually asked me this again and it was dead serious. Gunt- Can I cumtothepertyandbringmuhkids? I'll bringfood...(said this staring at the chocolate cake stuff and salivating) Me- Do I know you? (serious head injuries in military have been known to eradicate people from my memories.) Gunt- Wejustmet...(winks at me) Me- No. and i picked up an impossible pace the hamplanet could not match, walking speed