That fat SHIT of a pregnant ham Sorry, this is mostly a vent. I just came home from work and on the stairs (we have no elevator), I met my neighbor, who is a small planet with a lower leg thicker than my torso, wearing black leggins and some kind of ugg boots with leotard print. She/it was already huffing and puffing after the first three steps, and we both live on the third floor. I asked her if everything was ok, because I don't want to get sued if it drops dead in front of my door, and it told me climbing stairs while eight months pregnant was just so difficult and exhausting! Of course, you couldn't even tell there's a baby inside, it looks like a fupa, and she couldn't climb the stairs properly since she moved in two years ago. While I was thinking that, its breath hit me and it smelled of... cigarettes. A lot of them. Many of my friends are occasional smokers, and they smell absolutely nothing like this.  I'm so freaking mad right now, I know it would amount to nothing, but I only want to call the German version of CPS (Jugendamt) and fantasize of her being committed to hospital until birth, being made to exercise lightly and eat well, and then being forced to give up the child for adoption once born. Tl,dr: Ham is PREGNANT, can't climb stairs, is FAT and SMOKES.