The 'Cookie Monster' I work in a pseudo-bakery in a grocery store chain, and I see a hell of a lot of fatties. Half of my entire department is shaped like blimps! I see a lot of gross fatassery every work day, but today I'm going to talk about the 'Cookie Monster'. This thing couldn't be more stereotypical of a massive butterbeast. He can't be under 400+ lbs, he rides around in a store-provided electric cart and he's fairly obnoxious. He would always slowly scoots up to our department in his motorized cart and jiggle and wave and call out to us in greeting, something akin to: "Hey you guys! The cookie monster is here to gobble up all your cookies!!" Ugh. The majority of the time he would always show up during one of my ham co-worker's shift, because he considered her his friend. We would always have to give him our best customer service smile (except the tiny shitlady cake decorator, who just graduated from nursing school), but co-worker Blobbarina would humor him and give him one of the sample cookies we give away to kidlets.  Last week, though, she wasn't in, and I had to give him a damn cookie to get him to go away. As I approached him I couldn't help but stare in my peripheral vision at his fucking disgusting ham-hock sized lower leg. It was massively red and swollen (more so than it was already...) and was covered in a nasty white substance.  He proceeded to tell me that he had hoped Blobbarina was in so he could say goodbye to her, because as of that day he had to go be in the hospital. ... Because his leg burst open again. I just awkwardly said, "oh... okay, I'll let her know." which I didn't. As soon as he left, tiny nurse shitlady let me know that a long while back he had come in for a cookie and told them that 'it was his last one because he has to make changes to his diet', but not two days later, he was back for more! Disgusting.