You are the reason true anorexics are terrified of recovery Hey guys, Sorry for the tinypic links. Imgoat isn’t cooperating.  But that girl on Instagram updated with a response to someone’s comments. I wasn’t the original person who commented, but I am a follower of her insta, so I have access to her stories and posts.  http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=29c6gc3&s=9#.XGc4HBByahA ❤️  http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=sbkbv8&s=9#.XGc4QxByahA❤️  http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2qx6wkz&s=9#.XGc4dxByahA❤️  http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=34gajo1&s=9#.XGc4mxByahA❤️  http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2m330p3&s=9#.XGc43BByahA❤️ I’m just going to repost everything in case you missed the last post. But I’m really, really confused. I’ve been crying, kind of going through an emotional crisis. I have posted my stats before but I am 5’0, and my weight is 105 lbs, and my Bmi is 20.5. I’ve lost about 70 pounds due to exercising, dieting, restriction. I’ve watched my dress size go down from a size 12 to a size 2. I’m still working on my hourglass - I have a 30” waist and I think it needs to be smaller to get a better figure, and my thigh gap is a work in progress - it’s about 2/3rds done, but I still feel like I am obese, even though I am really not.  I have really awful body image, and my psychiatrist said I have “delusions” because...well, you don’t really need to know the details.  But this treatment program could really help me with my body image. They could help me not feel so fat and ugly and repulsive all the time. But I’d have to eat their food. Weight gain would be inevitable. The 70 pounds I lost really flattened out my curves.  My butt is mostly flat and my tits sag - but what if I started filling out again? Over the past year, I developed the delusion that women with large breasts and big bums are “sluts”, basically the women who call themselves “thiccc”. Every time I gain a pound I can feel myself becoming “sluttier”. That’s the delusion. That’s why I need mental health help. I just look at this girl’s face and I can see how the maybe 80 pounds she gained transformed her face. Losing weight drastically changed my face. I don’t look like a model, even a Walmart model, but if I make my waist smaller and learn how to do makeup, it may be conceivable that I could, potentially be construed as attractive.  Are these body positive people really happy? Or have they deluded themselves into thinking that they are? She has a boyfriend, he’s a big guy too.  What I also wanted to say is that, I don’t know why, maybe it’s my metabolism, whatever I eat makes me gain a pound. It wasn’t like this when I was 70 pounds heavier. I don’t know why. A muffin, a salad, a cookie. It all adds up. I don’t know if maintaining this weight will mean I’ll have to be extra super vigilant for the rest of my life, or I’ll end up like Colleen Werner.  Sometimes I feel like dying.i don’t want to end up a small fat or a ham. But this constant vigilance, weighing myself multiple times a day, the monotony of exercising...it’s really tiring. I love being able to fit into small outfits. I don’t know if anyone could ever see me as attractive, but sometimes I do think I’m hot, haha. Thin women are much more aesthetically appealing. It’s just the greatest law of the universe that body positive people won’t accept. Anyhow I am such a mess. I don’t really know what to leave you with. This has been kind of a unique look, because I think the original commenter on her insta posts was from here (no idea who though), and I was able to share with you her reactions and the emotional fallout. Happy Friday all. ❤️