"If only someone controlled my food..." So I've had this conversation multiple times with fatty coworkers. Another shitlord and I in my office have no kids & multiple dogs. Often, we start talking about our dogs: hikes that are off-leash friendly, food issues they're having, doggy daycare etc.  The other shitlord was recently ranting to me about how one lady at doggy daycare always gives her dog treats (he has a sensitive stomach).  We then got in to a discussion about people around us "sneaking" our dogs extra food (my damn roommates) and how it pisses us off.  I then went in to a diatribe about how I feed my dog exactly the amount he needs, twice a day. Sometimes I'll give him an extra 1/2 scoop if he's run over 10 miles with me - I pack snacks on the run for him if it's longer than 20.  Inevitably (and this has happened multiple times), some hog CANNOT HELP but chime in:  "UGHHH (labored sigh), I wish someone monitored my food intake like that." Another fat: "Exactly!!! Why can't someone just feed ME twice a day a strict amount - then I'd have no choice but to be thin!!!" NEWS FLASH YA DUMB FATTIES: you DO have someone controlling your food intake: YOU!!!! You CAN have a choice to be thin: YOU CHOOSE! Ugh so infuriating. Do they even hear the dumb shit they are saying?!