I got 2 Jail stories for y'all. Jealous Hams and Hungry Hippos! It's been a while since I posted a story!  Tonight, I (EMT) worked in triage with another nurse, and I had the pleasure of meeting this ham. This beast tumbles in, crying whale tears, about how its "husband works at some famous law firm and that she just woke up and was taken to jail for no reason."  First of all, I could SMELL its UTI the moment hamzilla wobbled in the office. I dont know what crawled up its urethra and died, but that whales crotch was fucking disgusting. Something like a mix between cheese, cheerios and diabetes rot.  Second, hamzilla's "husband" now has a restraining order against the whale. Next, they were NEVER married. Friends. The whale stalked him like he was the next thanksgiving dinner. The next time the whale got a hold of his phone, it found nudes from other human sized females, and emailed them to itself. In a jealous rage, hamzilla posted that shit all over every type of social media with identifying information inlcuded.  It is still so delusional that it has convinced itself that it is married to this man. Don't ever let any fat fuck be your friend.  Second story! Real quick. A binary star system (what used to be father and son) had become so sedentary and lazy that they had hoarded over 50 cats in the house. All levels of neglect. 3 found in the freezer, a few dead under their beds. Cats eating other cats to stay alive. Etc.  They smelled of cat piss and shit. Any room they walked in was destroyed by the overpowering stench of dead cat.  Fuck everything about fat fucks. Disgusting and worthless.