Happy Holidays everyone. P.S.: I hate fat people. Very little floors me as much as a week of holiday time with my extended family. I enjoy the shitlording admittedly but it can't make up for the sheer idiocy of fats. So here are some holiday highlights: Quiche: There were two boxes of 48 prepared for Christmas "brunch" or 3rd breakfast or whatever the fats in my family like to think of it as. The box said "3 for 100 calories". Hoarding wildebeasts start devouring them like crazy. FIRST: I don't believe in conspiracy theories, but there is no way each one of these vegetable oil/corn starch soaked stroke inducers was 33 calories each. I tried one, and while it tasted fine, it was obvious they were calorie dense and watching my fat family members dip them in French Onion dip made me want to hurl, so I passed on another. SECOND: You fat fucks, you just ate croissants with disgusting filling in order to win a family Christmas ornament. THIRD: The person who won was sad because it was filled with jam and not artery clogger version 3.0 (just normal sugar doesn't cut it for fats).  Boxing Day: After literally 6 meals on Christmas Day I'm feeling like shit because despite eating half as much as a large percentage of my extended family I still took in probably 4,000 calories. So I start doing some Boxing Day cooking. Not a lot in the house, it's cold, so I cook some ground beef with tomato sauce, spinach, onions, peppers. Once it is done I scoop a bowl and put some sour cream on it. Fatty-in-law looks at it: "OH what's THAT?". I explain. He asks: "What type of sour cream is that?" I answer: "Dairyland." He then follows up: "Noooo, I MEAN is it low fat or the delicious kind?"   I see where this is going, so I run with it. "Oh, it's the delicious kind." He gurgles. "Oh you are so lucky to be able to eat that, if i had that I'd get even more festively plump." Exact words. So I start digging. "Yeah, unfortunately I think mainstream media has peddled that idea for too long. Fact is if you ate this instead of the stuff we all ate yesterday: croissants, quiche, potato chips, crispy mashed potatoes soaked in butter, I'd wager you'd be as lean as me." Now of course this is not true, he drinks the Beetus and has no concept of portions, and hunches at the table like a 450 year old lich, but the point still stands: fats are fucking idiots. He thinks sour cream and meat is what makes people fat: not processed sugar and vegetable oils eaten in excess of the laws of thermodynamics. Even animals that run on instinct with no cognitive ability whatsoever respond well to satiating amounts of protein and fat.  So anyways, that's my rant, I'm stepping up my shitlording in 2018, and will take some time to get verified here sometime soon so I can hopefully get a cool tag at some point. Cheers.