That time a fat guy injured me - aka last night Last night was the UT/Notre Dame football game. I live in Austin, where UT is located, and because it's Texas, everyone is REALLY FUCKING INTO College football, including all the fats. We also have ~80% obese/overweight population here. We go to this bar that I like that has a seesaw on the balcony area. I sit on one side of the seesaw because it's packed and there's no other seats, plus if someone wants to go its USUALLY fine (however, not in this story). Imagine a lot of sweaty hams in burnt orange clustered together drooling over the thin people watching the game. That was it. Gross. So I'm just sitting there and this massive boulder plops down on the other side. I almost go FLYING, have to hold on for dear life, and say something like "hey, you're too heavy for me, can you get off?" The dumb piece of suet just grinned at me, this weird slow mostly-retarded-i-killed-all-my-braincells-with-my-sisterwife's-moonshine-grin, and just got up as quick as possible. I slammed back down to the ground, and some lady behind me actually asked if I was alright.  This happened twice more, him just being completely rowdy and drunk and me increasingly raising my voice to get the fuck off, he's too fat, no I am not having fun, etc. I couldn't have gotten off yet as I was afraid for my feet being crushed or my tailbone being broken. On the last time down, the back of the seesaw scraped the shit out of my legs too. In the pictures it isn't bleeding, nor does it look that bad, but that's about 6 hours later and its already bruising up around the cuts and sore as fuck. I just hope the seesaw wasn't rusty! The nice lady who asked if I was ok came over and said she wanted a turn, and the fatshit's friends pulled him off when they saw he was causing a scene. There's no happy ending, no one got in trouble or gave any shits about the fat, and I left after that. I'll be happy when it's dead in a year from the beetus, after suffering a stroke and being surrounded by no one at the hospital. pics: https://sli.mg/a/UX1YE6