Accidentally shitlorded a family I accidentally but perfectly timed shitlorded a tubbo last weekend.  Took my kids to see a Hercules monument atop a large man-made waterfall.  I didn't know it was seasonally operated, so unfortunately the water was turned off but we decided to climb to the top anyway.  The Google tells me it's 535 stairs, possibly a few hundred more to the very top though I don't remember it being that bad.   Anyway, as we were at the bottom fountain debating going up with the stroller this deathfat couple waddles over.  Any idiot with situational awareness would hear us speaking English, as I had already noted the hams were of course Muricans, but they tried asking us a question in German anyway.  They asked if we'd already gone up to the monument to gauge how difficult it would be.  I don't know who the fuck they were kidding, the weight of my whole family combined didn't even equal one of them.  After we informed them we hadn't been up yet, they decided to go to the restaurant a few feet away to "ask how far it is." Sure, fatty. We were gone quite a while having admired all the views on the way up, let the toddler walk up a few flights slowly, etc.  We even stopped for a break at the top to eat some snacks.  On our way back down after walking a couple hundred steps to the lower monument, my husband said he wondered if the couple ever made their way up.  I cackled really loud and said we'd probably pass them at the restaurant chowing down on some hot dogs.  As soon as I finished my sentence, Mayo comes around the corner alone, beet-faced and sweating (it was 40°F/4°C).  There's no way he didn't hear me.  My husband unfortunately still talks to them like they're people, so he inquired after the wife.  It was worth it seeing this pig's look of defeat as it claimed Femayo stayed behind to "watch the children" as we stand there carrying a toddler and a stroller.   I was surprised my husband set me up, he doesn't like me talking shit about people but knows I couldn't pass up a fat joke.  He claims not to have seen Jupiter ascending, either way it was nice to share a laugh for once at a fat's expense.  Always warms the cockles of my heart when people express the inner fat hatred we shitlords all know is there.  Not even fats like other fats. We ran into Femayo at the bottom, who claimed to have given up halfway.  I can't decide if it's funnier if it lied about going up or actually gave up the easiest exercise in the world.  I'm so amazed at their level of delusion to think they could even try getting up there.  I had some nice calf DOMS for two days and I'm not deadlifting 400lbs every time I get off the couch.  There's not even a McDonald's halfway up to replenish their sugahs, don't they know they're risking starvation mode gainz and ruining their 400lb set point?