Fat people encounters at the airport. Kind of long, so I'm sorry. In the middle of May, I moved to Hawaii. With me, I brought my two dogs. For those of you who do not know, Hawaii has strict guidelines for bringing pets to the island. There is no rabies in Hawaii, so your pets must be quarantined for 120 days. Additionally, you cannot fly with pets between May 15 and Sept 15 due to an embargo for all incoming animals. I assume it is because of the extreme heat during those months. I was traveling on May 14, the day before the embargo. I won't get into all the mishaps of my travel, but rest assured, there were many. I drove 8 hours to Los Angeles because it was the nearest city that provided a non-stop flight with a large enough plane to accommodate my beasts. I arrived 3.5 hours before my scheduled boarding time because I wanted to ensure I had plenty of time to get my animals checked in.   LAX was a gigantic shitshow. There had been a 7-hour power outage which resulted in hundreds of peoples' flights being cancelled and rescheduled. I was standing in a line with over 200 people ahead of me, and another 100 behind me. That was just for my check-in kiosk. There were 3 other kiosks that had just as many people. There were people who couldn't be placed on flights for 2 or 3 days. Needless to say, there wasn't a single happy person in sight.  I called the airline, explained the situation, and was placed on a later flight for that same day, which was very, very lucky. By the time I got to the check-in desk, I had been standing in line with two massive dog crates for over 4 hours. The agent helping me looked as ragged as I felt, so I made the choice to be kind to him, though in my heart I wanted to burn that place to the gound.  Two minutes after I got to the check-in counter, this giant planet of a woman waddles over to the agent, slams her hand on the counter, and yells at him "I WANT MONEY OR FREE FOOD." The agent looked sort of stunned for a second and then said that he was in the middle of helping me, and he would help her afterward. She says "NO, I want money or free food NOW. I've been waiting here for HOURS and I'm hungry." I look at her and say "Excuse me, I'm being helped here. He'll help you when we're done." There is a moment of stare down, and then the woman walks away to whatever space was large enough to occupy her.  After I had been working with the agent for about half an hour, a fat man who had been in line behind me somewhere comes to the kiosk and asks my agent "How long is this gonna take?" The agent says he is helping me and he's going as fast as he can. The guy says, "You know, I been waiting in line for hours. I thought I was going to be late to my flight so I rushed off the shuttle so fast I left my phone behind. That's the kind of day I'm havin'." Without really thinking about it, I say to this guy, "I haven't slept since 5:30 yesterday morning. I haven't showered. Haven't eaten. I drove 8 hours to be here, stood in line for 5 hours, and still missed my flight. We're all having a shitty day, sweetheart." Around this time, some guy who was working to help give people information came over and led the fatty away.    It took an hour in total to get my dogs checked in, and I was exhausted by the time I got on the flight. When I fly, I bring lots of mini bottles of liquor (because I'm a cheapskate). I sat next to a thin woman in her mid-twenties, and we struck up a conversation. I shared my mini bottles with her, and we got toasted together. The seats in front of us were occupied by three Australian women who were roughly the size of manatees (maybe "dugong" would be more appropriate). At one point, one of them turns around and very rudely says to us "Could you stop talking, I am trying to sleep." I respond by leaning in and saying in a loud enough whisper "Go fuck yourself." I guess I'm not always the nicest drunk.    Anyway, I made it to Hawaii. It's beautiful, but there are a lot of fat people here.