Slammed a fatty. No, I didn't fuck a fatty.  Well, at least not in the literal sense. Story time: So one day I was at Buffalo Wild Wings, picking up a take out order for lunch.  As I was heading for the exit, a big beetus bitch came waddling behind me like a retarded penguin.  She was wearing a shirt that said, "Proud Wife of a Sailor."  Oh oh, dependapotamus alert. I opened the first exit door, got through it, and held it open for Big Beetus Bitch, because it's common courtesy and I'm such a fucking nice guy.  BBB just trudged through the door without placing her hand on the door handle.  To top it off, she didn't thank me nor acknowledge me for this courteous act.   I hate it when this shit happens.  Seriously.  People who do this are selfish pricks and should be shot. The only reason I'm holding the door open for you is so that it won't slam into your fatass face.  You're supposed to hold the door for yourself after I transfer it to you.  Do I look like a professional doorman to you?  Do you feel entitled to such special treatment? So, being the spiteful asshole that I am, I quickly devised a plan to put BBB in her place.  I was in a shitty mood that day, and I demanded satisfaction. After I let her through, I made my way towards the 2nd exit door.  I cracked the door open just a tiny bit, slid out through the narrow passage that I made specially for myself, and slammed the door in her face.   Got out, lit a cigarette, walked towards my vehicle.   "You asshole!  Just wait until I tell my husband what you've done!  He's a US sailor!" she wailed. "I don't give a shit, you fat hippo.  I'm a fucking vet myself.  Next time, show some gratitude to others when they open doors for you."   Fuck that bitch.  Myeh!