I know I have responded quite a bit to what you post, but you have been on a FPH roll! I was depressed for a very long time, until I realised that my outcome was entirely based on my effort and decisions... being happy is a choice, sometimes it is hard, but you have to try. It is actually harder than being thin. To not be fat you must eat more than you use.  Happy takes effort, and fat people no not what effort is.