My favorite is hanging out with my shitlord friends/family and doing the whole talking loud enough for hams nearby to hear. Me: “oh my god look at how much food can anyone really finish that?! My stomach would explode haha!” Friend: “I know right so this guy at the starbucks I work at comes in every weekday and orders a coffee with full fat cream, but ‘sugar free syrup only, I’m trying to lose weight’. I got curious and put it into the app... it’s like 300 calories alone. And he gets a 500 calorie breakfast sandwich to go with it.” Me: “oh my god and he wonders why he’s fat” Alternatively I had family visiting from Poland and we went to ihop before they left and they were looking at the menu and my great aunt says (heavily accented) “vhere is zhe breakfasts?” And my cousin showed her.. she just belts out in the middle of ihop on Sunday morning, surrounded by planets at other tables.. “Zis is not breakfast!! Zis is dessert!? Zat is vhy you Americans are SO FAT!!” That was a glorious day. My family on that side is all shitlords and we fucking lost it. I looked around and hams were not as amused by us. The key is to just have a good network of shitlord friends to back you up.