It Doesn't Work! I went to go visit my parents yesterday with the baby and the dog. My dad and I spent the morning changing the winter tires on everyone's cars while my mom watched the little guy. When we were finished, my dad needed to bring the car jack over to my grandpa because he needed to borrow it to work on his van (my grandpa is 86 years old and a total shitlord - you guys would like him!) So I said I'd wash up quickly, grab the baby, and walk over with my dad. When I went into the house, my mom said she wanted to come too. My grandparents live a few houses away from my parents. So it's Parents' House -> Neighbour 1 -> Neighbour 2 -> Grandparents' House. Neighbour 2 is moving. They're a young family, with 2 children under 3. They were having some sort of yard sale with various items, but they also had a significant amount of brand new Tupperware - I think the wife sells it in her spare time. My mom wanted to stop and look, so I stayed with her and the baby while my dad continued on to my grandparents' place. That's when I noticed it - there was a humanoid blob sitting on a folding chair off to the side. I've never seen this particular carb molestor before, it must be a friend of the neighbours. It was formerly female, blonde hair, and must have weighed at least 320 pounds. That chair must have been made of adamantium to hold up such a beast without collapsing. I could see it sweating and heaving with every breath. It wasn't overly warm yesterday either, only about 13°C (55°F). The calorie vacuum was wearing capris and a T-shirt. I was comfortably dressed in jeans, a sweater, and a spring coat. My mom started talking to the neighbour about buying a Tupperware toy train for my son, while I stood there kind of awkwardly waiting for her. That's when the beast approached. It heaved itself off the chair, and introduced itself as Candice. It made small talk for a few minutes, and then asked me if I had ever heard of "It Works". I said that I had, but I wasn't interested in that sort of thing, trying to cut the conversation off as quickly as I could. Of course the mayo snorter kept pushing, and handed me a green and black advertisement card with a "before and after" photo on it. I looked at the card, looked at the hamplanet, and asked, "do you use these?" "Oh yes, all the time!" it said excitedly, probably thinking it was going to make a sale. "Hmm," I said as I laid the card on the plastic table, "I guess they're no substitute for a clean diet and exercise." Its face fell. It stammered about how they really do work, she has lots of clients who say the wraps have made a huge difference, etc. I wasn't really listening at that point to be honest. I let out a few skeptical "uh-huhs" as I picked up some of the Tupperware pieces on the table and pretended to be more interested in those. Finally my mom finished negotiating a price for that train, she gave it to my son to hold onto, and we walked over to my grandparents' place. I can't believe fatties actually buy those wraps thinking that they are going to make a difference.