How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Hate the Butterhuffing Professor Today, I had my first real "I fucking hate fat people" moment. I am a CompSci major, and last semester took a class on networking basics. I get into the classroom, set my bag down, and wait for the professor. The professor turns out to be a she, weighing what must be from 350-400 lbs. Behind her desk is a "this is a safe space" printout with all the different flags used by groups that would want a safe space. Dropped the class, got my money back, got the fuck out of there. Took networking with a different professor this semester, and was doing great. Guy was informative, entertaining, and focused on real world application. About halfway through the semester, I show up to class, and he's not there. Instead, that fucking butterhuffer is sitting at the desk he does. Fucking hell, is she our substitute or something? I think to myself. Turns out, another professor quit working and the cool guy who was our professor was the only person with the qualifications to take over the classes they abandoned. So now, I am stuck with butterhuffer, but this time its too late to get my money back and I've already done a lot of work for the class. She actually recognizes me to a degree, I lie and say I just have a familiar face and this happens often. This is somewhat true, and the smartest guy in the room was convinced that I probably went to the same HS as him. I've snuck myself back under the radar, but not for long. Before I continue, I hope I make you retch as much as I did during class today. She is an orb. She is a Butterball Turkey, fucking round. Her forearms look like water balloons. She is your standard IT nerd and not self-aware enough to buy fitting clothing, because her shirt and pants are so damn tight you can see her stomach rolls and her "small" tits that sag more than my great grandmother's. The waddle when she walks is so bad she deserves a tuba to follow her at all times to play theme music. She is legitimately a horror to look at, to the point I couldn't find a picture of her on google because she's smart enough to keep her image off of it.  Under the radar didn't last long, because OF COURSE a 50-year old female network technician that would mark her classroom as a safe space would shit on Trump heavily. On network security. Yep. Of course, in her mind, she's trying to be fair because she briefly mentions that the DNC got hacked and they emailed Podesta his new password like fucking morons. "Before I go on, are there any Trump supporters here?" I can't resist. I hate this globe so much I put my hand up, I don't give a fuck if I have to drop this class and eat the financial loss. We have a "nice" back and forth, she moves on, whatever. I'm not backing down when it comes to this woman. She's ruining the nice class I had been enjoying for weeks. Few weeks later and we are now at today. She bought an OJ drink from the vending machine, complained about how it tasted funny, and put it down. A classmate decides to ask if he could try it, and she mentions offhand that he shouldn't if he's afraid of "catching the gay." What the fuck. She's a lesbian? Of course she is, I cannot imagine a man that would be attracted to that dwarf planet, no wonder she has to look to women for love and affection. This thought rests in the back of my head until the end of class, where she states unprompted that "her wife is getting her degree this semester." BACK UP, WHAT?? Your wife? I was baffled for multiple reasons. First, she doesn't wear a ring. Second, I had figured her for one of those "forever alone" types due to her incredible nerdiness and lack of any attractive features whatsoever. Third, and the beginning of hating my brain, is that to have a wife chances are you had to have sex with them at least once. The lesbian death bed is real, but how do you fuck a globe? How in the world do you enjoy it? This is the beginning of the descent into temporary madness. Fourth, my professor is too large to wash herself properly. Almost guaranteed. It didn't occur to me until hearing she had a wife how rancid her pussy would smell, and that someone "loves" her enough to deal with that. At this point, I am in an empty courtyard after class and actually retching here and there. This horrid realization will not leave me and I want to throw up. FIFTH, it occurred to me that I have no clue what her wife looks like. Oh my god, what if she's just about as large as her? I thought. It was horrific. The idea of these combined 700+ lbs actually engaging in intercourse was too much. I am thoroughly disgusted and just wish I could puke already and get it over with. That sweet release never comes. Stuck feeling nauseous, the sick imagery in my head wouldn't let up until I'm almost home from class.  I still don't quite understand how in the world this world-sized woman got another woman to love her, or maybe I just don't want to accept reality that they were probably two terribly desperate humans who are likely only together due to the sheer loneliness of nobody attractive, male or female, even having a passing interest in them. It's disgusting. I don't want to think about it but at the same time the situation is too bizarre for me to not ponder. I just wish I could get the idea of the smell out of my brain. tl;dr drop butterhuffer's class, she takes over a better class and ruins my good time, turns out to be more disgusting than I could've imagined before