Tales of Office Hambeasts So, I work in an IT call center office, which is admittedly one of the biggest hambait jobs I can think of.  I sit on the second floor, near an exit stairway and elevator, so most of the people leaving walk by my desk. Today, I was running a little late leaving, and a few people were trickling out ahead of me as I was gathering my things at my desk.  I look up and happen to see what I assume were a male and a female couple, both quite morbidly obese, standing by the elevator door, the male one emphatically depressing the elevator door button, perhaps in hopes that it would arrive faster.  Again, we're on the second floor, and these hams are getting impatient about the elevator instead of taking the stairs, which are literally directly opposite the elevator in the hallway.   I happened to overhear a bit of their conversation, as the female one made a suggestion: "So, I was thinking about maybe doing salads tonight or something...?"  I looked up, expectantly, to see the male ham vehemently shaking his head in reply, obviously repulsed at the idea of having what would probably have amounted to a bowl of Ranch soup with a small leaf of romaine added as garnish. Chuckling, I shake my head, and go back to packing my things, grabbing my phone and texted my girlfriend about what had transpired.   Grabbing my bag and shutting off my computer, I head down the stairs, and make my way across the parking lot to my car at the back of the lot - a terrifying feat for most all of my coworkers.  Coming to a crosswalk leading to the back half of the lot, I stop for the oncoming vehicle, when lo and behold, the two hams that I saw before are both crammed into a tiny Smart car, their arms dangling out of the windows due to what I assume was a lack of space. Unfortunately, they left too quickly for me to get a picture of them. Bonus Story: After thinking about it, I remember about 2 years back there was an email going around the company, suggesting that we should convert some of the "Employee of the Month" spots at the front of the building into "Smart Car Parking," under the guise of promoting more environmentally friendly vehicles. It makes a lot more sense now that I know who is driving that car.