What would a cannibal tribe call an obeast? "Long pig" was the euphemistic name for the (likely normal human sized) missionaries and explorers that were, um, consumed in the first Western contact with Pacific Island cannibal tribes. What would those cannibals have called one of today's lardmountains? Surely they would have wanted to distinguish it from regular pig, but "long" would be a poor modifying adjective, as these tribes probably had very little understanding of the geometric concept of circumference.