The secret life of fat consequence. We're all familiar with the obvious tolls fats exact on society: the increased health costs for all, the environmental harm, the extra space these animals take up. But there is another aspect I've experienced over the past few years that doesn't get the attention it deserves because keeping it secret is the entire point.  Fat ruins marriages.  I am in an open marriage, and while getting to this point was an emotionally grueling and drawn out process, my wife getting fat was the impetus. (She has since seen the light and joined the gym, got her diet in order, and lost the weight, I am happy to report. But we still have an open marriage. Variety is the spice of life.) The open marriage experience has been really interesting, and a pattern is developing. I noticed it early on but needed more data to confirm my conclusion that it is obesity that is dooming so many marriages. Not all of my extramarital partners were also in open relationships, most had their affairs with me. But if you're here to downvoat because of feelings of moral superiority, just save it for the end to decide. Here are just a few stories from my experiences: We'll call her Ann. I met Ann while she was engaged to be married. She was looking for sexual satisfaction because her fiance was unable to provide a good experience for her. Three guesses as to why, and the first two don't count. Yep. He turned into a fatty over the years and the sight of his plump gunt ramming into her beautiful body building up to his measly dribble of ejaculate just wasn't doing it for her anymore. Here I was, a younger, fit guy full of stamina, and I came in (ha) and gladly provided. She was a wonderful woman. She deserved better. After our experience, she ended the engagement. Bullet dodged. We'll call her Heather. Same as Ann. It turns out that the average American male is a fat, lazy piece of shit. At some point when they're younger and fitter, many of them match up with wonderful women then let themselves go, not thinking that the 3,500 decisions they make per day to remain a burger monster with no self respect has consequences. The consequence is that their woman will seek satisfaction elsewhere. These "men" would literally rather eat than keep their partner. Heather and her partner are no longer together either. Another soul saved and another marriage ruined because of fat.  Soccer Mom. She's also in an open relationship.  I just met her recently. She's cool, fit, her husband is a bit doughy, but he's not the real target of this story. It's Soccer Mom's ex side relationship. Her ex, we'll call him Ted, was married and cheating on his wife with Soccer Mom. And his wife? You guessed it. Misshapen blob, a face ruined, ringed in fat and giving her the perpetual bitch face look, a triple fupa. How do I know? Ted, in his rage and shame, used to take creep shots of his disgusting wife while she was changing or in the shower and send those pictures to Soccer Mom as a form of commiseration and shame and rage. The poor guy was a pig fucker, and he knew it, and he didn't have the courage to leave the farm, only enough wherewithal to have an affair. So he sought after a human on the side. It's only nature.  This isn't the story of a side relationship, it's the story of a young friend of mine. He's 18 and confided in me that he believes his dad is cheating on his mom. The signs are obvious. He's detached from the family, spends way more time "at work" and "up north" with his guy friends. The poor kid has no idea of my personal experience with the matter, but as I listened I waited for the punch line. And it was delivered as expected: the kid's mom used to possess classical beauty and now... She's fat as fuck. It's obvious it bugs dad, but his attempts to get her back to the realm of the human have failed. As morally repugnant it is to so many and on a level even the harshest moralizers have to admit, the consequence of not taking care of yourself for your partner is understandable.  So folks, judge my lifestyle choices all you want (judging is what we're all about here), but realize that this is the secret world of fat consequence. And for all you lurking mayo monsters here with hot wives... I'm coming for her. And on her. And in her. And she fucking loves it!