Almost Made a Fat Puke At Work [NSFW] Just another day at work and this time, our assigned seating got changed so I get to sit near more humans yay! On the downside, I'm still surrounded by fats and one of them keeps reeeeing about its low back pain and how it cannot stand. Not to mention, it keeps talking about how some people like me are able to be so slim at work while it won't lose weight due to guhnetiks. But that's just another day at work to me so I was doing my job and all of a sudden, my stomach starts hurting a bit because I ate some spicy food at Kona Grill the night before and shaved my ass crack afterwards during a shower at home and learned that ass crack hair serves a purpose; they muffle and silence farts. So when I had to let one rip, it was as loud as a trumpet and almost sounded like one too that it echoed throughout the work place. That's when I try to keep my cool and I just kept saying "oh shit" to myself wondering the worst that could happen. Little did I know, my flatulence started to spread and my human coworker was unfortunately affected but the people who reacted the most were the fats. Naturally, my human coworker had to use Febreeze on me. Then things went like this. SUPA FUPA: Oh god I'm sorry! Hamworker 1: What the fuck! Hamworker 2:  Oh you nasty! Hamworker 3: Munches on powdered donuts and drinking beetus and suddenly smells farts. Oh god I think I'm gonna puke! SUPA FUPA: Oh please don't! Hamworker 4: Goddamn its traveling to here! Then all the fatty workers took break and left the workplace to go outside and get air as some went to the bathrooms to puke. It was then I could see all the humans again and no fatty coworkers. It was a relief but my supervisor, who's also human, kindly told me that if I had to let one rip, I had to break. It wasn't a warning thank heavens because its a bodily function thing. And that night after work, some of the fats told me that they had to throw up in the restrooms after inhaling my farts and said that they couldn't eat their food at work that day because my farts got to them. Good thing my farts ruined their beetus addiction because if people are going to eat at work, it should be fruits and yogurts not barbecue, beetus, cheese fries, etc.