Tales of My Wife's Hamworker So my wife has a ham co-worker at her job, a typical fat SJW Tumblrina with neon hair and ugly glasses.  For about a week after getting hired the pig refused to introduce itself to my wife, even when near by.  Only after it was invited to the team's monthly dinner (which I am invited to as well) did it finally introduce itself (we'll call it Porcine One from now on) to her.  After sitting down my wife and I proceed to shit lord Porcine One during the course of the night, ordering reasonably portioned items and talking about fitness and the like.  At one point we're pretty sure we triggered it as it walked off to the bathroom in a huff.  It was one of the more socially oblivious people I've ever met and kept trying to talk about itself and how awesome its life is.  Later that night one of its fat friends came over to visit, typical neckbeard who smelled of stale sweat.  I've got a mediocre sense of smell at best but I could smell its stench from about 3 feet off. Flash forward to today and it comes into my wife's office to discuss something and it was reeking.  She described Porcine One's odor as fetid halitosis.  She's been around quite a few fat people in her time but this was by far one of the worst.   One nice thing though, it is a contractor as opposed to a full employee and can be terminated at anytime and guess who gets to make that decision?  My wife has decided to keep it on as long as Porcine One amuses her and then get rid of it, preferably before summer when its stench will become unbearable.  Consider it vicarious payback to all you shitlords and shitladies who have been fired by or because of nasty mayo tankers. Also, as a nice bonus to me, my wife has redoubled her workout routine so as never to (not that she was in any danger of) becoming like Porcine one.