Greedy-ass fatfuck crows--Here's a story to show fatlogic in the animal kingdom I have been feeding the crows where I live for the past 7 months. It is really awesome, and if you have crows wherever you live I suggest you do the same. I have a loyal group of about 10-15 crows that includes juveniles, males, females, and elder crows. They are the absolute shit and they would all come when I called to give them snacks. Uncle Terry was the biggest crow in the crew, and he seemed really wise and was kind of old. More on him later.  Crows tend to work together in groups. Shadow, my favorite crow, has the appointed role of Gopher, go-getter. She is the one who shows up first to any situation, scopes it out, and tells the other crows whether or not it's safe. She was always first to show up for the snacks I give them (organic nuts or raisins only duh). Shadow calls and tells her partner in crime, Caller, and Caller calls all the other crows and tells them it's safe and it's time for snacks. Then all the other crows in the crew show up and share the nuts I have generously provided them with. Unfortunately we've been infiltrated by some fatfuck greedy ass crows. About two weeks ago I was walking kind of not near where I normally give the crows food, and I was calling for them but it was not the normal time I fed them so I was also looking around for them. I saw a loner crow on the ground in the distance. Assuming it was Uncle Terry, I did the call for his crew again and gave him some nuts. Once I got closer, it turned out he wasn't Uncle Terry but was some fatfuck crow. I thought that was fine, he would just call to the other crows and share the nuts.  Instead he ate all the nuts by himself, making him fatter. I knew immediately that this was a grave mistake on my part and hoped the consequences for accidentally giving the fatfuck crow food wouldn't be too severe. The fatfuck crow came back--WITH TWO OF HIS EQUALLY FATFUCK FRIENDS. They eat the nuts all by themselves and they have tried to lord over the other crow crew's feeding spot but I am establishing dominance and shooing them away every time they come near me. They are lazy as fuck and come to the nearest tree near my apartment, which isn't even a good place to receive food because there are a lot of moving cars there. They are not getting any more nuts because all they do is fucking stuff their faces and they don't share with young and elder crows. Super fucking rude, right?! They're just fatfuck crows in their prime and want to be greedy and not share. I'm pretty sure my normal crew has just relocated to somewhere else in the neighborhood, I'll just have to find out where so I can feed them there.  However, in the long run, these fatfuck crows will live a lot shorter. They are too fat which will cause health problems, and the fact that they only have 2 other fatass crows to rely on could likely kill them if they were ever hurt or sick and needed another crow to bring them food--his fat friends would just eat all the food themselves and forget to bring it to him.  Aaaaaand clearly no one likes the fatfuck crows, otherwise they wouldn't be going solo and only working with 2 other crows. JERKS.  tl;dr Three fatass crows infiltrate my normal crew of crows, forcing them to relocate, because they're greedy as shit and don't want to share. So. Rude.