PE (Physical Education, or "Gym") Teacher and the big ball of lard. Alright, so I met my new HS teachers (as most of you know most shitlording starts when you're young and/or a past fatty. In my case, I was both and now quite fit) this past week and so far, everything was great! My new teachers and I got along well, and I was looking forward to meeting my PE teacher. My past PE teacher in GS was really freaking cool, fit, and was very much involved with her students. The bell rings and my female classmates and I have already changed into our uniforms. In my school, we have sections in which is where we stay in for the rest of the school year. Every subject is taken with your classmates in your section, so if you don't like them, boo hoo. For PE, the section next to us would transfer the female students of their section into ours for the class, and it was similar with the boys. By this point everyone was settled down. Then the door opened. I swear if I could have played the clip in JP where everything started shaking when the dinosaur came closer, I would have. In walks in teen Ham and Teacher Ham (creative, I know). I swear everyone's jaw dropped open at the sight of our teacher. All the tiny little ants I refused to kill on my table began to flee, and I couldn't help but envy my little friends.  Teen Ham was apparently TH (Teacher Hams) assistant. She was also a student but couldn't participate today because she didn't bring her gym uniform (I wouldn't be surprised if she ate them). I'm not usually this mean, but when i tell you what happened I think it's justified. We're now at the courts, and we were running some laps. Here's the thing. I have asthma. If you don't really get that, it's hard for me to breath. I honestly sound like a mini vacum cleaner at times. I don't have an inhaler, but I tend to be okay as long as I pace my breath properly after a little break.  I'm one of the few who finish my laps under the designated time so I have a longer break and don't have to take up the extra 5 the others have to do. While I'm waiting for my friends, Teen lard approaches me. "Your face is like, so red." She oinks snickers. I'm kinda wary, but I explain to her that I have asthma and I usually get red like this. Not a huge deal. She snorts and says "My cundisuns are far worse than yours and I don't get red like that. I'm much fitter than you!" I stare for a long period of time, making a show of looking at her rolls and my non existent ones.  She continues on, "My mom and dad tell me I'm perfectly healthy also!"  Later on, I learn that this girl has type 2 diabetes. I know important people in my life who have diabetes and I know the shit it causes. I've been coaching them to eat healthy and now they're doing great. I know how to deal with it. But this girl took out a box of doughnuts and at least four slices of pizza after class (since it goes into lunch). Please, explain. I'm just like, "Okay, whatever." and continue on with my day. I then hear her tell the others that I called her fat and compared myself to her and putting her down on all those times. She then goes on to tell Teacher Ham what I 'did'. Teacher Ham had a screaming match with me, telling me I didn't understand and was lucky I wasn't born with such cundishuns and my guhnehticks are 'great'. I would never understand the "pain" (She said this... why is she a teacher again?) I tried to defend myself, but she refused to believe me.  Guess hams have to stick together, huh? Anyway, she told my adviser and co-adviser (basically my class' 'mom' and 'dad' who are school council advisers and head teachers for my grade as well) and I got a lecture for it. Apparently she told them I had crap behavior, was slacking and had incomplete uniform. I told them what really happened and they asked my other classmates. They didn't really know what was going on, but they told them that I was mostly silent during the whole interaction. Now they're going to talk about it with us tomorrow and I'm hoping the lards get what they deserve. It was petty in all throughout, and I hate causing scenes, but if you try to unjustly give me a bad reputation and horrible grades I will end you. Just saying. Now, where's my box of doughnuts and slices of pizza? TL;DR: Lard 1 makes tells me she is superior when it comes to being fit and healthy, tells Lard 2 that I hurt her fee fees and compared my body with hers. Lard 2 tells my teachers in charge of my class that I'm a rotten banana and am incomplete with my things because Lard 1 totally had all her stuff in check. I get in trouble, but they listen to my side of the story and tomorrow Lard 1 and 2 will be served on a silver platter... hopefully.