Optometry Obeasts I hate wearing my glasses sometimes, so I went ahead and ordered myself some disposable contacts after my eye exam last week. I got a call on Saturday saying they were in, but have been out of town until this evening, so I haven't been able to pick them up. Fortunately for me, the optometrist is right next door to my gym. I decided to stop in right before I hit the gym tonight. Even though I was wearing a thick coat, it was quite obvious that I was on my way to the gym. My leggings and running shoes were visible, my hair was up in a ponytail, and I had my bright red "GoodLife" gym bag slung over my shoulder. I was greeted by an obeast femayo, who I'd guess was about 5'3" and 280 pounds. I tell her I'm there to pick up my contacts, and she says she just has to check with {I forget the name} and she'll be right back. I'm standing there waiting for several minutes, when a second obeast emerges from the back room. It's even larger than the first one, and it's chomping on something very loudly. Crunch crunch crunch. It speaks to me while still masticating, and says, "sorry! I was in the back snacking." "I can see that," I said to the former female. It disappeared into a small room just behind the display case, but left the door open so I could still see and hear it. The smaller obeast must have sensed that I was unimpressed, so she blurted out, "we're always snacking!" as she laughed and pointed to her rolls. The larger couch bison emerged from the small room and handed me my contacts. I gave a fake smile as I took them from her and said to the smaller obeast, "well, then it's a good thing there's a gym next door. You two should try it sometime." They gave each other a puzzled look as if to say, "did she just say that?" and I headed over to the gym with a shit eating grin on my face. Bonus Story: A fatty yoga class let out just as I was finishing my work out, so the change room was polluted with these butter beasts. While I was getting my things, I heard the following conversation between two smallfats: Smallfat 1: "Did you end up going to McDonald's last week after class?" Smallfat 2: (who was fatter than the first one) "No, I didn't have enough points. [I'm assuming it meant Weight Watchers points] I went to Pizza Pizza instead because it's healthier." You can't make this shit up, folks.