Ruston's Guide to Spotting and Avoiding Fatfishing Thankfully this great and loving community has shared much knowledge on how to spot fat online profiles.  These are to be avoided at all costs.  On the old site, I had written down tips to help the younger shitlords and ladies out there avoid these awful situations that arise from Secret Internet Fatties thinking they can date a human.  Unfortunately, that post got nuked along with our entire glorious sub.  I have delayed recreating it for far too long.  So without further ado, here is Ruston's Guide to Prevent Fatfishing. "Myspace Angle". This has been mentioned ad naseum, but it must be included in this tutorial.  The Myspace angle is ALWAYS from above, and usually includes a slight contortion of the body to hide everything she wants to hide.  HERE is an example. edit:  /u/DelusionalHominids had an excellent comment with a video of a fatty giving tips on how to look skinnier.   Nearly everything mentioned in that video is used in the above photo.  So I wanted to expand on these to point out all of the red flags. A. Notice, she is sticking out her chin toward the camera.  This is to minimize the number of chins (but it still looks like a double chin is peeking out from there.   B. She is leaning in a lot toward the camera too.  This puts her face in the foreground in an attempt to make her body appear smaller by being in the background. C. The hair is drooped over her shoulders to hide them.  The less skin you see, the less evidence they think you have that they are fat. D. It looks like she is sucking in her cheeks.  This is almost a desperation move at this point.  She is trying EVERYTHING to get that ONE "good" photo. E. She tries to camouflage her bingo wings.  Notice her right arm is completely cropped out of the photo.  Her left arm is barely visible, but has the "hand on hips" pose which tends to stretch out the arms to make them appear less flabby.  Even still...the sleeves on that loose shirt look like they are pretty tight. I have not seen any other photos of this woman, but if I would have to make a wager, I would bet the mortgage that she probably weighs more than me. Describes itself as a "Foodie". There are 2 types of foodies.  The type that enjoy experiencing new tastes, flavors, and cuisines.  These type of "foodies" generally talk about what they like to COOK.  And have THIS attitude regarding food.  "If I don't love it, I don't SWALLOW." (skip to 48 sec if the link doesn't go straight there) Then you have the OTHER type of foodie.  These type of "foodies" generally talk about what they like to EAT.  This is an ambulocetus who doesn't even have time to taste what it is shoving in its maw.  These are the types of creatures that do crap like taking a challenge to eat 100 burger king cheeseburgers. These wastes of space actually think that such a display of gastronomy is actually a GOOD thing... Collar Bones. Simply put, Humans usually have them.  Hams never do.  One subtle way I like to triggur an eat beast is to tap on mine as if I have a nervous tick and am doing it because I am board.  They can hear the sound it makes.  when they do the same thing, the sound is completely muffled under the layers of fat. But be warned...fatties are now learning how to paint on collar bones with makeup. Really bright photos / poor contrast. This is often done in conjunction with the Myspace angle (Notice this exists in the Myspace photo above).  It is done to soften skin, hide rolls, cellulite, etc.  here is a great example.  "SEE...he's so artistic with the black and white photo"... that bleaches out all of his facial features.  and HERE is the reality for that specimen. The main reason they do it though is our next point... Fat facial blemishes. Before I get attacked by the younger crowd here, I am NOT talking about acne.  Lord knows I had more than my fair share of that as a teenager.  I'm talking about specific facial blemishes that almost look like your face is bruised from the fat stretching it.  THIS is an extreme example, but you get the point.  The facial skin does not respond well to long term abuse.  It is similar to how a long time alcoholic has a red nose (side note: Rudolph was left out of the reindeer games because he was a raging alcoholic). Close cropping of photos. ALWAYS insist on a full body photo.  I will always LOL at THIS crop job.   and related to the Close Crop... Obstructed viewpoint photo. Again, this butter huffer is obviously fat in the first photo. but her attempts to deceive are simply hilarious Bitch knows she is hideous, and that is the BEST she can do to fatfish you?  LOLOLOLOLOL * snort * LOLOLOL Edit:  I wanted to expand on this point more because I think i did not discuss enough ways that the waddling dead try to hide their flab.  More commonly than my linked picture you will see them put things in the way to cover their fat (especially around the face and neck).  Male-ish mayokin will have photos with a scarf, jacket, or other clothing covering their neck.  female-ish mayokin will have their hair covering their neck and shoulders (or shorter haired pork-orks will use the same camouflaging clothing that the former males do).   Also, look out for that camera placement in those mirror shots.  It may be hiding a chin or 3.   Is she standing with its legs tight with one leg DIRECTLY in front of the other?  It is trying to hide a whole thigh, and twist the torso to get a theoretically more hourglass shape. Has fat friends / spouse / parents / pets. We have discussed the crabs in a bucket mentality many times before.  Fatties simply will NOT tolerate a friend that is thin.  They will do everything possible to sabotage their friend's weight.  I have hamily members who were human until they married a lard bucket.  The more active one is losing its humanity.  The inactive one has become a full on gas giant.   Now, some people do escape the hell from having planetary parents and become proper shitlords.  But that is rare, so those shitlords and ladies deserve even more respect for escaping that orbit. As for having fat pets, this shows that they have no concept of portion control.  An animal will eat anything you put in front of it.  it is up to the owner to keep the pets healthy.  If someone is overfeeding their pet, they are almost certainly overfeeding themselves.  If they aren't a celestial body right now, they will be very soon. Photos appear to be many years old, or some photos are thin, while others are not thin. This is probably a trick that guys do more than girls. Probably because fat guys are too lazy or have simply given up hope of ever meeting a human, so they don't put in the same efforts for deceit. If the pictures all show things that were popular 10+ years ago, those pictures were probably 10 years old.  People can change a ton (tee hee) in 1 year, much less 10.  This is the hardest to detect, but if you see something like a Motorola Razr on a belt clip with a Cingular Wireless logo...that's a pretty big clue that the picture is old.  "Yeah, that's a recent picture.  Why do you ask?" Only has group photos. Call this "Ruston's law of profile pics".  If the profile pic has more than 1 person in it, the profile belongs to the fattest, ugliest person in the photo. VERY distant profile photo If the photo is so far away that you cannot see anything, that usually means they have something to hide.  "HERE is a pic of me on vacation.  I'm wearing the white dress under the tree on the left" Claims to have an active lifestyle, but ALWAYS has some excuse (usually an injury) preventing any actual activities. This is a clue that may not be determined immediately looking at a profile, but will turn up in early conversations. Secret Internet Fatty: "Hey I see you are a runner.  I like to run too." Shitlord: "Yes, I love to keep active.  Hey, there is a 5K next Saturday morning.  Want to meet up there and have a run?" SIF: "I would LOVE to, but I can't.  I hurt my knee in a football injury about 10 years ago." SL: "But I thought you said you love to run.  Have you not run in 10 years?" SIF: "Actually the injury was tripping down the stairs trying to chase the hotdog vendor.  Please love me for my rolls...." OK......that's it for today's lesson on how to prevent being fatfished.  Please add your tips in the comments below so we can share our knowledge and add to the list.