They all do it! They think plastering on garish makeup, getting tacky tats, fake eyelashes, dying their hair "edgy" colours, wearing truffle-snuffling-pig nose rings, and taking selfies in super-oversized sleazy underwear that shows their gargantuan cheeks and saggy udders will take the focus off their gluttonous lardbodies. Fatties? None of that works. Sorry. Not really.