It finally happened.  I encountered some death fats. So, I was at my local [retail establishment], rounding the corner, and heading towards the [shit that I need] aisle, when I saw them.  The mayoman was so big, it was literally blocking the entire aisle (an aisle you could easily fit 4 normal people into, width wise) with it's massive beetus limbs, and knee length FUPA.  The femayo had a gigantic FUNT (That's Fat Upper Neck Tit, in case you didn't know), and weebled and wobbled as it walked, but thankfully didn't fall down.  I don't have earthquake insurance. This was my first time seeing such beasts in the wild, and before I knew it, the words were, loudly, coming out of my mouth: "Holy shit! Deathfats!" Loud enough for everyone in the store to hear (it's a small store), especially Mr. and Mrs. Grease Galactus, who slowly turned around (guys, omg, they couldn't move their fucking necks to look at the source of the sound, so they had to--I fucking shit you not--wobble their stumps to and fro like a coin spinning on a flat surface in super slow motion, just to turn around). I didn't stick around long enough to see what would happen next (I assume these things can't charge like Hippos, but I wasn't going to risk it, just in case), and made my daring escape by... turning around and walking back down the aisle from whence I came.  I heard a couple of footsteps, followed by heavy wheezing, and no more footsteps.  Then, an out of breath "fuckin' prick"... this could've been the male death fat, or the female death fat, I really have no idea, since the voice did not have any gender characteristic to it.  Unless wheezing, wet spittle napkin is a gender. So, there it is.  I knew these things existed, but omg, I never thought I'd actually get to see one, let alone two.  I'm fucking flabbergasted.