Heart Attack on Aisle 7 As I mentioned yesterday, a fattie regular died at my work via heart attack. While I saw the situation from start to almost end, I wasn't really able to get a good view. I was upstairs on my lunch and unfortunately the break room doesn't go as far over as aisle 7 :( I had to return back to my post about 10 minutes before they hauled him out, but they parked the firetruck and ambulance on my side of the store so I managed to catch a glimpse of the guy. He definitely had your typical 'dad bod' figure, with a huge beer stomach, and he was probably in his mid to late 50's. ... Well, he looked that old but there's no really knowing with those gravy boats, let's be real. Am I allowed to link a video or pictures or something? I have a short video of the paramedics arriving and stuff, and a picture of the ambulances. Anyway here's what went down: The flighty floral manager sold him a dozen roses, and even then he was leaning heavily on his shopping cart and was red in the face; he was definitely overheated (the current daily average temperature where I live is about ~115F, 46C. It's so nice today at only 95/35!), but he moved on. Then he eventually shuffled his way over to our promo aisle; it's currently filled with pool toys and backyard furniture, so he probably knew some shit was about to go down so he could possibly sit. That's when it started! A different woman was on that aisle with her toddler and ran to the front near the registers, shouting, along these lines,  'Someone come help, this guy is dying!' I'm still not sure if that was it, I was upstairs and it was muffled through the glass. All the cashiers kind of stop and froze except for the cute ginger cashier (think Ygritte's conservative mother) who sprinted over there. The manager in charge for the day was frantically summoned over and I kept seeing him sprinting back and forth to aisle 1 for rolls of paper towels -- this guy had fallen and hit his head, hard. I hear there was a voluminous amount of vomit as well. So anyway this shit is going down, the cute probably mormon pharmacist is sprinting to and from his own department, kooky floral lady is uselessly floating around and Deli Shelli (not her name, that's just fun to say quickly) on the line with 911. Parameds show up and take over. Eventually Ygritte comes upstairs and is shaking with the ferocity of a chilly chihuahua and I ask her WTF is happening. Turns out she came up to wash her hands free of this guy's blood and I somehow didn't notice it. I get back to work and start gossiping with everyone who will listen, of course, and think about how odd it is that it's been ~10-20 minutes since the medics showed up and they still haven't fucked off to the hospital with him. I was slowly starting to realize that this lump was probably a goner (Deli Shelli even mentioned that she didn't think he'd made it). When they finally were skipping out the door, they were taking their sweet time about it! Sure enough, I casually brought it up with customer service and yep, he's long gone. I even noticed today that a family member or someone was slumming it up around his pimped out truck trying to get in to take it home.  Was it heat stroke that fucked this guy over? Old age? Heart disease?? Whatever it was, having a gut the size of an orangutan pool probably didn't help~! ᕕ[ ᐛ ]ᕗ