Yay first day of school.... So like a lot of people, today was my first day of school. Yay new year, yay new semester, yay return to ham infected university bullshit :( My office is FILLED with REEing porkers and full on hamplanets and somehow I forgot how annoying they could be. My mistake. After determining that our department seminar would NOT be providing free lunch for us today (REEEEEEE muh sugars, REEEEEEEE how dare they!? REEEEEEEEEEEEEE Iah need fuds or Iahm gonna starve!) there was a migration of massive proportions to....wait for it....the epitome of culinary excellence....Panda Express. Literally one female (?) ham gathered up the rest of them and herded them all to get food because "We'll have to wait an HOUR to have ANYTHING to eat and that's just too long!" As if the fettered access to sustenance for sixty minutes would literally kill it. Fuck me. Also on the way to find my own lunch, I ran into a full blown tublr ham. I knew fats existed on my campus (boy did I know) but I had never seen this subspecies in the wild. Shitty hair, shitty makeup, shitty clothes, SHITTY GLASSES, it was all there. Pretty sure she caught me staring in disgusted fascination, don't give a fuck. I am so sad that I once again have to deal with these fucking wide load wastes of space swaying their mammoth asses into my path and shuffling along. Bonus rant: I have to go to a 1940s themed party. Do you think I can find a cute, cheap, human sized period dress? FUCK NO. Everything was 2XL or up and worn/ reviewed exclusively by hams :(