I bet dollars to donuts (tee-hee) it pulls an Amy Schumer and posts to Instaham all about its SHOCKING hospitalization for SO-NOT-CUZ-FAT beetus shugahs crash, lard-encrusted heart issues, busted joints finally quitting that fat bitch, or insert-cundishun-of-the-day here.  And then reeeees 24/7 about duh h8trs "bullying" it online.