Hotel fat too big for a bed So I'm in Yorkshire for the next week or two, raping your women, looting your villages, the usual. Today I had a problem with my room-key which for some reason had ceased unlocking my door.  I had to go to reception, down seven flights of stairs, and ask for some help.  Unfortunately there was a beast being dealt with (why they didn't just shoot it and hide the corpse round the back I have no idea, God knows there were enough large rubbish bins). As you know fats have breathless & whiny voices, so I couldn't help overhear it blurt out its complaint.  Apparently it wanted to switch rooms because the (double) bed it had been assigned was too small for its partner and itself. If you're asking yourself how fat you have to be not to fit in a human-sized bed, and you're sobbing in disgust, then believe me you're still in a better position than I was; I was downwind, and I had to listen to the complaints, the shrill voice, and the sheer rage that this thing exuded.  If only it could channel that energy into eating less, well .. we know it won't happen, but its an ironic thought.