The peeping planet (Story is a few months old but still fresh in my mind) So I work as an assistant server at a dinner theatre buffet. We mostly serve the old and the fat, but that's for a different story. Today I'll be telling you about Matt. Matt waddled in one day looking for a place among humans. He was easily 250 pounds and 5'. He wasn't very good at his job. He slacked, disappeared often, and complained about lifting trays that weighed less than 5 pounds. Typical lazy fatass right? Well I come into work one day and find out from the others he's been fired. I ask around and everyone is saying it's because while we were on first break (we get two paid ones while the show is going on) he was taking pictures of our women staff in the girls bathroom. While we were supposed to be preparing deserts for intermission, he was perving on the girls. This is a new low I think for fatkind everywhere. We now have a drain in the alley behind the restaurant in honor of him, we call it "Matt's Drain" and we all throw our cigarette butts in it to stoke the fire of his metabolism.