snorting like a pig okay, so I posted a thread the other day about my hamplanet, soon-to-be-ex-friend, temporary unpleasant roommate "Richard", and now I have to document yet another disgusting obeast trait. I mentioned his lazy-ass sleeping habits: flop around on his mattress throne browsing the internet on his phone until after 3 am (why not on the computer, sitting up, you ask? because my regular desk chair is too small to be comfortable for his massive ass); then sleep past noon so as to waste half of a day that could be otherwise productive; then not move an inch from his mattress throne and do nothing around the house all day, whereas I am coming home exhausted from 12 hours of working hard. Anyway. I go to bed between 9 and 10, to wake up at 5. Around 2 am last night something woke me - it was Richard snoring, with the light in the other room still on and making it too light for me to sleep. Irritated, I got up, intending to turn the damn light out so at least it wouldn't keep me up on top of the snores. I walked into the other room, and, Richard was still awake. This fat fuck was lying on his belly on his mattress throne, grunting as he breathed from his own weight around his labouring lungs and windpipe. Didn't move, didn't get up to adjust his posture, perfectly content to just wheeze and groan there on the floor like a goddamn suffering animal. I was astounded.  Honestly I shouldn't even compare him to a pig. Pigs are sensitive, intelligent creatures who don't deserve to have their good name slandered by association with these subhuman bloat-piles. Maybe he'll just suffocate there   on the ground tonight and leave me to break the news to his parents.