Haha, great comments. I was pretty sure from all the pictures I've seen that those stockings go higher so thanks for confirming. I think they just don't make them big enough for hams.  The Swiss Guard uniform looks so strange because it basically has remained the same since the 1500s. They also have that helmet like the ones you've probably seen from soldiers and explorers in the 16th century. Here's a brief article about how they are armed. Although they look jester-like to us nowadays, they are not to be messed with.