That feel when your 350++ pound 23 year old mayogender cousin tries to lecture you on.. The terrible, terrible dangers of me taking my two nieces ( 8 and almost 10 by then ) on an actual, semi-serious hiking trail this summer. So, during summer holiday I will be taking my nieces on the ~96 mile Hermannsweg Trail to give my sister and her husband a little break and because I firmly believe in the importance of an active lifestyle at any age and also because they won't stop harassing me ever since I told them I was going :) Anyway I was talking about the trip and the gear we would be bringing with my dad when my fatfuck cousin feels the need to chime in. About how dangerous rock climbing is ( we're making a few detours in Teutoburg forest for some sweet ass climbing ). About how they could trip while hiking, or sprain their ankle, or get dehydrated or heaven forbid, get low bloodsugahs. I retort that, first of all, a climbing accident is the only thing out of those that could seriously hurt a normal person ( but that I understand that for people with a BMI over 40 tripping might have fatal consequences ) and that we will be using top notch safety equipment. Besides, the girls and I go climbing all the time, they're like spiders. Seriously, where does a morbidly obese ham get the stones to lecture anyone on the possible dangers of being active out in nature ( on a popular, well traveled trail in a modern, first world country with routes that fucking 90 year olds can manage safely no less! ) when they themselves are a ticking time bomb of cundishuns? I would rather trip, fall and split my head on some rocks than pant like this hog does after a short stroll in an aircundishuned house. At 23. PS: no, we're not hiking the pussy senior citizen route.