Fatties are aggressive, dumb cunts! Incident at the burger trough. New to posting so please excuse any mistakes. Wall o text as well. I am an open shitlord, I will talk about how disgusting fats are and complain about vanity sizing and how I have been sized out of certain stores or relegated to the kid's section in front of fat fucks, I just don't give a shit. Every so often the husband and I like to go and enjoy big greasy cheeseburgers at a local well known burger joint. After a long session of getting tattooed (3 hours with no break) and not eating all day since we both do intermittent fasting, we popped in for dinner. Now my area is not known for having mega tankasses (a fair number of small fats though), but lo and behold we get seated next to one of the biggest battleships I have ever seen. It took up 2 chairs, one for each disgusting ass cheek and there was still overflow. It also had a human sized husband with it. The guy had the typical look of, "This isn't my life!" that you see on the face of these dudes that go hogging. The guy looked hippo stomped, his eyes were full of shame because the husband and I kept looking over at them, especially at him while projecting our thoughts, "Where did your life go so wrong that you ended up with that?" My husband kicks the conversation off loudly with how he's sick and tired of people mainly co-workers telling him that he looks emaciated, which is because he went from 225 @ 6'3" down to 180, which is a perfectly healthy weight and he looks fit as fuck. He went from a pants size 34x34 to 30x34. I respond with, "That's because people's perceptions of what a healthy weight looks like has been skewed due to all the fats running around." Now that remark got Mrs. Hippos attention. You can see it wants to charge our table. Just then the waitress shows up to their table to take their orders. Oh and it spawned, the 2 kids thankfully were slim probably because mommy hippo eats all the food in the house. She proceeds to order REALLY LOUDLY, "You see kids, mommy is ordering a veggie burger because it is healthy for you!" then she proceeds to get a whole bunch of toppings on the processed veggie patty. Things like roasted peppers, 3 cheese blend, avocado and mayo. The best part is that my 1/4 pound of beefy deliciousness was 150 calories less than the hippo's "healthy" veggie burger before even the toppings, and also had more volume. The calories for every menu item are clearly printed so there is no missing how many cals you are ingesting. Even the 50+ toppings have calorie counts next to them. The husband and I finish our burgers so I get up to use the ladies room before we leave. As I am coming out I see the hippo charging at me full speed down the hallway where the bathrooms are. Probably the most cardio it's gotten in it's entire life, it was really hoofing it like those rhinos you see charging in nature documentaries, and I fully believe that it intended to knock me over even the hubs said that he saw that and was worried for a split second, but we all know that fatties aren't very good at gauging width, length, height, weight, distances, etc... so I easily managed to side step it. Next time I'll tell you all the story about the dumb, entitled manatee at the bakery. Yes lurking fat fats, us skinny bitches do eat burgers and cake. Just not all day everyday!  Tl;dr: Managed to shitlord/lady a hippofattomus into ordering what it thought was a "healthy" veggie burger, and it tried to bowl me over on the way to the bathroom.