Hahahahahaha I scrolled down its Insta and found a picture of a necklace with a comment that it was a gift from her pigfucker; it's a "monstera" because he "knows [she's] obsessed with monstera" and has three. Never heard of "monstera." So I Googled it. Turns out it's a plant. But it's a plant normally known by its other name: The Swiss Cheese plant. Even its fucking horticultural interests have to do with fucking food!! Its favorite plant is named after cheese. FFS. Also, not surprised it has a little tiny dog as a pet, because we all know it and its fucker wouldn't want a breed that requires lots of exercise. Can't try to shed a few pounds while bonding with a pet! No, just get a little tiny thing whose legs are so short it runs slower than most people walk. I mean, it's a really cute dog, and I actually love cute little dogs (and that's not fat sympathy, it's not the dog's fault it's owned by a pig), I just find it amusing that it deliberately got a dog that wouldn't require long walks and runs and such. If we don't give World's Best Dog at least a half hour of solid walking and exercise every day (preferably two half-hour walks, sometimes three, but one is the absolute minimum), he's a nightmare--which is awesome, because it forces me to get up and go on days when I don't necessarily feel motivated myself.