At the beach with my dear new shitladies This weekend I discovered my sister and her friends being undercover shitladies. We went to the beach, as is always a good place to objectify people. I'm Dutch, and we generally like modesty in our country, so usually no excessive behaviour is encouraged. This results in quite fit people on the beach, if you can avoid the seemingly exploding fat Germans that is. Those encompassing trench-mangers do everything they can to spill all over our easy-to-reach beaches and occupy all the space they can get their hands on, dig holes (which they immediately fill with their blubber), and leave trash everywhere. Anyway, as it's very crowded on nice days, we went to a quiet beach, kind of a local-only spot. No fats around as far we could see. After we got our spot set up, we suddenly noticed the dunes shuddering, the water retreating, and little kids bouncing around in fear. The reason? A humongous ball of lard. Wearing some kind of a bikini/tent, we immediately were curious as to where that woman (yes, kind of female) could have become a human flotsam, and be able to get away with it on our beach. As did all the other sun-lovers by the way... We started discussing loudly where she'd been shopping, how quickly the kids would be eaten if caught in her gravytational pull, and what would happen if she'd managed to wallow into the sea. You know, in the Netherlands loads of cities are below sea-level, so naturally we were worried about a tsunami. This meatball was risking our lives as she rumbles across, and ate away our sunlight. Fuck, she heard our comments, glanced vilely, and knew she was a fat sack of lard, so she couldn't do anything but hide herself. As the comments kept on coming, I felt pleasantly at home, and fell asleep with a this pleasant ringing to my ears. Edit: loving thin Germans, just not the whales.