Fatties are terrible customers I'm a college student who works at one of those 24 hour diner style things that are so common in America in order to pay for my classes. Unfortunately, this means that I get shitty hours (Think nights and weekends often at a few hours notice at most), and I deal with even shittier fatties. Last night was a motherfucking hellhole and a half, even though we didn't have many tables that night. Last night was basically me and one other server, one night manager, a cook, and a cook in training. They usually tend to bring in new trainees during low business hours, i.e. late night or whatever, so that they can focus more on doing things right than on being quick at first.  Here are some of the lovely highlights from my night in hell.  A smallfat and a meat moon walk in. Smallfat gets pissed with me because we don't have beer (this particular branch doesn't have a liquor license), and when I apologize and offer soda or coffee, insists that he can only drink beer at this time of night (7 PM). Between the two of them, they order 2 large salads, a large bowl of soup, a sandwich, and an appetizer. Obviously, appetizer and soup comes out first. Place them in the middle of the table, smallfat gets pissed because I didn't put it on meat moons side. Act pissy because they're 'missing' foods. Other foods are brought out about 5 minutes later, and I ask if everythings okay, do they need more sauces or anything and they're 'okay'. Two minutes later, the other server walks past me with dressing and is like "WTF they say you're taking bad care of them". They later said the same to the manager.  Another table, another two smallfats, one male one female. Take forever to look at the menu and get pissy with me for asking if they were ready to order. Place the order in for a steak well done. Then, they start asking the other server where is their food, because female smallfat is 'getting desperate', mere minutes after placing the order.  Yet another table. A father, probably of BMI 29-30 ish, comes in with 2 little boys, maybe 8 and 10 years old. They're pretty skinny. I offer kids menus, father asks for adult menus. Then proceeds to order them adult meals. Full sized adult meals, the biggest that we have, and containing more calories than a kid that age should be eating in a day, unless they're playing sports literally the entire day. (For the record, each of these meals were 1700+ calories). Father says it's okay, "Because they're boys, they eat a lot, see how skinny they are?" Yes, they're skinny now, because they're kids with high metabolisms, but even a high metabolism and sports if they play any can completely stay ahead of a shitty diet.  ANOTHER CASE. A customer had just left, and his dirty dishes were still on the table. Literally, had just gotten up from the booth. Obviously, neither I nor the dishwasher/busboy had come out to clean it off yet, due to me having another tables food ready. For the record, there was a clean booth next to that one, and across from it. Turn my back for just a moment, when I get done dropping food off at the other table, two smallfats have sat themselves there. HOLLEE SHEET the stench! Not regular fatpeople smell, but like the smell of body odor and piss. I politely ask them if they'd like to move to a cleaner table, and apologize that I hadn't gotten by to clean off the table as yet. The man snaps at me that he doesn't want to be walking too far because he just got operated on, when there was a clean booth right next to it, that wouldn't have taken him more than 2 steps to get to. The glare I got to go alone with that was appalling, and the glaring from this 'man' and his 'wife' continued as I cleaned off the table.  A group of 4 more people. 2 are normies, 1 is a smallfat, and one should hang a sign on her bum saying "WIDE LOAD". Cram themselves into a seat. I spent the rest of the fucking hour running back and fucking forth to this table of fucktards. Burgers normally come with sides, but they keep asking, what else could it come with. I offer fries, oh but what else, hashbrows, oh but what else, broccoli, oh but what else, fruit, oh but what else, etc. Finally, get the orders in. Every time they see me, snappy fingers like you do at a dog. Get over, one wants more coke. Drop it off, the other wants more water. Drop that off, can they have some napkins. Get that, where's the appetizer. Drop that off, they need ranch. Drop it off, they need honey mustard. Drop it off, one wants more diet coke. Drop that offf, Where's the food. Give them the food.  Remember we were training a new chef? The guy forgot to put avocado into one of the burgers, and bacon into another. This is a simple fix, go bring it out on a dish, and apologize. No problem. Bring more water. Bring more soda. Bring mustard. Bring Mayo. Bring the check. One of the normies looks at it, and starts demanding that I take off TWO of the burgers that were completely eaten, because they were "missing" something, even though that something was brought out immediately after being asked. Their excuse? "OH if we didn't ask you, you wouldn't have brought it!"  If I didn't know there was a problem I couldn't correct it? They demand a manager. Night manager is pretty sweet, and she's had a long day, and she's like fuck it, 10% off, even though everything was quickly corrected, just so they could STFU.  FFS I have more of a workout running to get shit for lousy twats like that last group than I actually have jogging on a treadmill at the gym.