Would pre-planning meals with enough nutritional quality/quantity be helpful or would focusing on the numbers make it worse? Maybe make a few sets of meals for the weeks, or something like a big pot of chilli or jambalaya. Something where you can pack a lot of vitamins and minerals into one place, then portion it out so you know you'll be getting enough that day.  Alternatively, what about keeping snacks such as protein bars or fruit near your desk and try to eat one per day without counting it in any type of food log if you are keeping one? I know for some people not counting can create discomfort or anxiety but for others it can help them either eat more, or feel less anxiety about not eating enough, and with less anxiety their situations can improve. Plus, you will know that an apple is not going to ruin your dietary goals so hopefully that could help fend off the anxiety about un-counted numbers. I am not a psychologist, doctor, nutritionist, behaviourist, or anything like that, so most of what I am saying will probably not help.... but I hope that even if nothing here helps you that the support will. It can be hard to regain control over ourselves. We all have different struggles that we sometimes fail to overcome. Remember to forgive yourself and try again, and rather than focusing on wether or not you reached a goal, focus on whether or not you can honestly and sincerely say you tried your best. The thing we often hate most about fatties is their attitude. Poor, victim fatties, they tries sooooo haaaaard to lose weight, but it isn't their fault that the family dinner had cake and pie, they had to try both, besides, they walked 5 minutes today so they totally deserve it. They lack sincerity, and accountability. As long as you stay accountable and know that you aren't making excuses for yourself, you will find a way to get through the rest of it. Knowing that all the power and decision making comes from you is key in reaching any goal in this world. We can still fail, and that is ok, but we haven't lost until we start allowing ourselves to fail and being insincere about how much effort we really put into it. I can pretty much guarantee you will never become a fatty on the outside, and as long as you keep your head up, remain accountable, and make new efforts to try again even on the days when you may have failed, you won't become one   208  on the inside either. As for dealing with the ham, the solution largely depends on your working relationship with her. Many of us are forced to forge cooperative relationships with fatties and other undesirables in our daily lives (me, for example, one of my jobs is bartending so I am forced to make the relationships with elderly drunk pervert men. I'd rather never see them, but in order to enjoy my workplace, make money, and ensure I am respected by my patrons at all times, I still have to deal with them an  7ff9  d keep negative people in positive roles.) Depending on how your relationship with this ham is, solutions can vary. If she is your "work friend" who chats to you about her family life, compliments you, jokes with you, and behaves like a friend while you tolerate and, when appropriate or necessary, return the "friendship," simply having a heart to heart about what makes you comfortable and uncomfortable when it comes to your food and other possessions may be enough. If she is just a colleague, and is childish or naive, telling her the food you have contains ingredients she dislikes, is allergic to, or contains carefully measured medicines that you require (if I don't want to share things with strangers or don't want food confiscated i tell people I have mixed my betablockers into the drink etc because I can't swallow pills without vomiting. I don't take betablockers for my heart condition, nor do I have trouble swallowing pills, but it is hard for anyone to justify separating me from my food/drink when I need it all to myself for health reasons) You can also invent medications or reasons for them such as "my doctor says I am not getting enough iron so he has told me to add this supplement to my food, I'm sorry but I can't share today or I won't get enough iron today." Rearranging your office if possible to separate or put up a barrier between you two can also help. if she can't see you eating she won't now to ask you for food, and if you can't see her lard slipping out of her shapewear you'd be happier too. last thing I have to offer:  (they give you paid leave if a parent dies but not if a sibling dies)  I've been through that too. Feel free to message me any time if you ever want to talk, if not, that fine as well. hugs