Fats are dumb, plane edition. I'm traveling for the holidays this morning and on my flight and I got to board the plane in the very first group of like 10 people. So I got onboard, stowed my bag, and headed to the back of the plane to use the bathroom real quick before everyone else got on. As I'm heading back to my seat people are starting to trickle on, and I have to pass a deathfat squeezed into a seat. As I'm walking past, I feel someone grab my sweatshirt. I'm wearing just leggings, a sweatshirt, and a scarf. It's the deathfat, and it goes, "I need you to get me a seatbelt extender." I must have looked deeply confused because it goes, "You're a flight attendant, right?" to which I give my best "Uh. . . no!?!" It responds, "Oh, your scarf made me think you were!," all tee hee bullshit like. The flight attendants on the plane were wearing skirts and vests, not leggings and hoodies (where do they ever?!?) and my scarf is no where even near the colors of this airline. Maybe the beetus had already taken its eyesight.  That, or I can just fit up the aisle with ease! Edit for update: landed safely only to have the deathfat struggle up the aisle sideways ahead of everyone else, huffing and wheezing, so it could be the first off. By the time I exited 5 minutes later with a duffle bag, satchel, and still a quarter of the commotion it made, it was sitting in a chair at the gate. Go figure.