Subtle Shitlording Does Not Work I was showing property today to a guy I haven't seen in awhile, along with his obese girlfriend. He's probably gained a good 45 lbs in the year or so since I saw him last.  First thing he says to me is "Shezbot, you are too skinny! Turn around!" I'm not one to obey a fat asshole's commands but I did have to turn to open the door and he immediately said "Your ass is too small for me now." OH NO! That's terrible, because I was really hoping you were going to want to screw me in the master bedroom while your fat cow of a GF looks on. /s We step outside and she wanders off and he turns to me, points at my chest and says "...Are those new?" I looked down and then back up and said "Yes. I got implants. The original reconstruction after my double mastectomy didn't go exactly as planned..."  "BAH!" he says. "Fuck you!" I'm thinking, it's not your body, nor is it your choice.  Back inside and the she-cow points at my wrist and says "Look, she has an apple watch! They aren't silly!" I do, in fact have an apple watch. She did too. Her's was the HUGE model and didn't even go all the way across her wrist. Mine is the smallest and fits me perfectly. I glanced at my watch and said "Oh my watch? Yeah, its handy but I really got it to help me keep track of my calorie consumption, caloric burn and heart rate. I haven't worked out yet today so my numbers aren't that great right now..."  She says "I use mine for Trivia Crack!" Sigh Edit: I spoke with my boss who told me this dude and his fat GF are sex freaks looking for a house they can put a secret sex room in, for all their toys and their table and all that. I almost puked. I forgot to mention, he asked if I had gotten my nipples tattooed yet and I said no. Pretty sure he was disappointed. I was told I won't have to show him property again, hoping that remains true. Or the bitch comes out to play.