Greasy couch goblin tells me about its 'impressive' deadlift. Quick one for you, FPH. I just made a comment about this in another thread, and I thought I'd share it, as well as offer helpful shitlording tips.  Don't say I'm never here for you guys. Anyway, a while back, I was working my way up to a 3 plate dl.  It was well past midnight, and I had the gym mostly to myself.  There was 305 pounds of iron on the floor in front of me, and I was getting psyched to pick it up and put it back down again.  I went for the lift and... failed.  I'll admit, I jerked it a little bit (the weight, not... you know). So, I paced around to clear my head, then got ready to try again (But Tuna, you failed, and didn't go cry into an order of large fries?!  No.  Normal people don't do that).  This time, I promised myself I wasn't going to jerk it (again, the weight... I feel like I shouldn't need to pull your mind out of the gutter twice... yes, you in the back, stop giggling).  I went for the lift and... pulled it up just fine.  My form was good.  It felt good... and I was quite pleased with myself.  A few more of these, and it's on to three plates! It was at this point that I realized there was something distinctly couch-shaped, watching me from the corner of the gym.  After my successful lift, the greasy couch goblin approached me, and before it even walked the length of the gym (give or take, 100 feet... or ~30 meters in socialism units), it started to wheeze out "that was a decent lift... how much was it? 265?" ...ah yes, the patented fatty backhanded compliment "305", I said, "I'm working towards a 2x bodyweight lift" ...it was at this point, that fatty must've realized it would never get to experience something like that, so it oinked "keep it up.  You might get to my level of strength.  I deadlifted 405 pounds the other day!" ...and this is where I got mad, and sneered "Good for you, I guess.  1x your body weight is still pretty pathetic, though." So the moral of the story is, if some fatty is telling you what they lift, just give them the "aww, that's so sad" look and say "you bench 240? ...isn't that only half of your body weight? ...that's not very good at all"