What happened to the fatty voodoo curse every ham in my family has tried to hex me with my entire life. I'm sure a lot of you lovely people have had a similar experience.  My entire life, I was told at every life event, I was going to get fat. "Just wait until you get out of highschool and stop doing year round sports, you'll go to college and get fat.  Freshman 15." Nope. "Later, in college when it starts getting harder and stressful you'll put on weight." Still nope. "Now that you've graduated, when you get a real job and real stress you'll start to put on pounds." Got a "real" job.  Still not fat. "Once you start a family and don't have time to workout, that's when it'll hit ya." My kids 7. "Now that you're over the hill, your metabolism is going to crash and there's no avoiding it." Still got the same measurements as I did in college. "Oh, well, erm... you're just one of the lucky ones." What? No.  This is not by chance.  It's not juneticks, nor metabolism, and definitely not luck. Point to flat toned stomach, greying body hair and all. This was not an accident.  My wife and I earned the bodies we have.  It's your own fat faults you let yourselves use every excuse to join the subspecies. Take some goddamned responsibility.