He actually met with me 'in secret' before about 3 years ago. Hamatron was living rent free in his place and eating into his savings without trying to find a job. He wanted my opinion about what to do. I wasn't explicit but I let him talk things out and then reflected his comments back to him. It was calling and text him non-stop through out our 2 hour furtive meeting. He came to his own conclusion to give her another month to get her crap together. Of course the ham could sense a disturbance in the force and suddenly managed to get a job (after almost 18 months of 'actively looking') and started to contribute when his patience began to wear thin (ha ha ha).  I honestly think had It not cut him off from all his friends (we've almost all given up, her presence is just too much to be around. She's awful inside and out), he would have left It. But piggy played her cards carefully (cunning piggy), and I think he's at a point now where his esteem is so low that he feels 'lucky' to be with It. smh.