Shitlord surgeon shuts down hufferbeest (Omitting certain details but the gist of the story is the same) So I work in a bariatric surgery clinic (specialising in WLS) and come face to face with all sorts of buttergolems every single day. After being in that environment for so long, these obeasts become non-human in my eyes, kind of like furniture that grunts or farts. Anyway my doctor informs me to call a certain obeast in, and so I did. Now usually when I greet these lardos I put on a professional smile and tell them to follow me to the doctor's room. Usually they put on a resemblance of decency and smile back. However for this particular obeast, I knew she was going to be a massive pain. Scowling at me, she stood up and told me, "You need to eat more, how can they let you work here? Don't this clinic know their patient demographic?" I was taken aback that furniture could talk, but I just blew it off and walked ahead (with the obeast struggling to catch up behind me) If anyone is not familiar with WLS, the doctor will try to put the patients on a calorie controlled diet to let them lose as much weight as possible before the surgery. But this obeast, she GAINED 15kg (~30lbs) in the span of 3 months! She's 5'2, same height as me but triple my weight (I'm 100lbs). My surgeon is a closeted shitlord and lost his shit. The conversation went something like this: "I told you to LOSE weight, not to gain it! I'm sorry but I'm not going to be able to operate on you until you lose some weight" "BUT I TRIED EVERYTHINGGGG. DIETS JUST DON'T WORK FOR ME! I EVEN EXERCISED 3X A WEEK LIKE YOU TOLD ME TO" "Well then maybe we should ship you off to NASA, they could study you since you're defying the law of thermodynamics. I'm sure discovering a source of spontaneous energy generation can net them a nobel prize" "...." When she left the room, my surgeon and I burst out laughing uncontrollably. Ah, the joys of my job. TL;DR: Hambeast wants WLS, but puts on weight instead. Shitdoctor tells her that he would ship her off to NASA to study spontaneous energy generation.