An Airline Ham Who Ruined Everything This happened about ten years ago. I was a flight attendant based out of Atlanta, mostly working regional routes. It was summer, and we had a ground delay on the tarmac. Because fuel is calculated very precisely, you can't just run the engines to keep the air conditioners on. Otherwise, it would finally be your turn to takeoff and you wouldn't have enough fuel to reach your destination.  So it was a summer day, we'd been delayed about two hours. The captain turned on the air as much as he could, but it was pushing 80 in the cabin. I had miraculously gotten most people in a good mood, by asking trivia questions, setting up teams, giving drink vouchers to the winners. Most people were actually having fun (I was good at my job.) So I hear from the captain that were second in line for takeoff. I make sure everyone is seated and buckled.  That's when this ogre wearing track pants and some kind of sports jersey stands up and starts lumbering toward me. He ignores my warnings. He comes right into the galley, a few feet from my jumpseat, whips out his tiny dick, and starts pissing on the floor. After he's done, I inform him that he will be removed from the flight and it would be in his best interest not to make that difficult for himself. He sits down without a word.  I was so mad because we had to go back to the gate, we had to refuel, I had to make a statement...and I lost what, to me, would have been a cool victory (keeping so many passengers happy despite the shitty situation.) Fats ruin everything.