Its not funny at all, it's just sad.  Classic "I'll make fun of myself before you make fun of me" weak bullshit.  Instead of shitlording yourself, just put down the fork before it fucking kills you.  Worthless, absolute waste of a life.  You don't get a mulligan.  You throw away your only life, then that's it.  Disgusting.  I want to beat the stupid out of it with a fish bat.