I'm a mom and feel the same way. I've brought two beautiful little shitpeople into the world, and other than the stretch marks on my abs, you'd never know. My skin basically cried uncle in my last trimester.  As lame as the tiger stripes thing is, it's NOT for fatties! It's for the MILFs like us who hit the beach in bikinis and trigger all the SJWs in their diapers.