Tis the season to be lazy, fa la la blah blah! So the weather in my area has gotten cooler (cold, in fact) and the great big pretenders that I saw all summer taking up ample space in the gym have deserted the premises. From years of going to the same gym I realize this is the hibernation slump for the tourists. What they do is balk at having to get up early or even go work out at all when it’s cold out, plus this is the time of year for baking, (more) bacon, and yummy nummy treats to eat and tingle the toesies on their diabetic feet. The hibernation slump pauses in January when the tourists, ashamed and guilty from the holiday massacre they performed on every buffet table, waddle back into the gym for approximately a month of trying and failing. They vow to come back when the weather gets warm around April or so (after devouring all of the Easter ham and chocolate). To me, this is truly the most wonderful time of the year. No fat asses sitting around on the machines running their loud mouths or staring at their phones instead of doing leg presses. No herds of cattle on the cardio equipment going at a snails pace and leering at the hot, fit people in the hopes someone wants to milk a cow. The bathrooms smell better. The gym regulars are happier because they get done quicker instead of having to wait while some fat load takes forever to finish a set. God bless October through December.