Looong story: Almost hired Bessy I work in healthcare. Of course, we see our fair share of landwhales but this one took the cake. Literally. Our small team needed a few extras.  We started the hiring process and interviewed ... lets call her Bessy.  Bessy could barely make it up the stairs.  It's not our only conference room - but the one that's aptly chosen by my finest boss.  A first good indication if you can keep up with the busy pace we set for ourselves.   After ascending, it took a few minutes for this surprisingly sweet smelling heifer to catch her breath and answer the question I threw out before even reaching our comfy seats.  While trying to answer pleasantly while gulping for air, another of my lovely co workers threw out a second question before the first was fully answered. Captain Oblivious, my favorite yet least intellectual colleague, immediately answers for him giving 'ol Bessy more time to catch her breath.  After a 30 minute interview, she seemed a surprisingly decent candidate. Forward on to 3 weeks into the hiring process, she seemed the best bet. Against all of my openly stated concerns about her health condition, her age (young grandmother) and her ability to get off her ass and do the job, we brought her in for a test run.  I'll admit, she was amazing.  She learned the job, learned the computer, was pleasant with the public and brought healthy lunch and snacks which she ate only at the appropriate times. I, knowing that fats gonna fat, kept my professional distance and watched from the sidelines.   After the second week, we had a team meeting which was catered.  Lots of people will fill up a plate and eat during the lecture. Those of us with manners will wait until the end and eat and chat socially then.  Bessy filled up before, ate during the talk and got up half way thru to refill.  Of course, she was sitting in the middle row, surrounded by people and chairs.  That didn't stop her from shoving her ass in about 6 faces while she not so quietly excused herself down the isle to get to the feeding trough.  On her way back, one of the supervisers stopped her and pointed to a chair on the end.  She said, no thanks, I'm sitting in the middle. And, again, pushed her way back through to her chair which amazingly hasn't collapsed.  An excellent indication of her priorities which wasn't the company's well being. Week five begins and the higher ups decide she's an excellent fit and she's to be hired directly from Outsourcing. Many may not realize this - if you hire before the required time period is up,  you pay a penalty to the Outsourcing department.  Because of this, we will give the indication that you're to be hired in a set period of time so as to not pay that penalty.  She had 3 months to show her true colors. Oh boy, did she ever. After the congrats card went around to be signed and was delivered to Bessy, she suddenly forgot how to shower.  She started wearing perfume to cover her stink and we're not talking Chanel.  More like Axe for cows.  Her salads and almonds became MickeyD's and Nutella.  Her getting up and galloping around became ..."if you're going that way could you..." and ..."lets just leave this person on hold because i really don't feel like walking 30 feet to get this person".   I'm still sitting on the sidelines, silently cheering, while my coworkers gossiped in disgust.   I brought my concerns to my favorite supervisor - a woman with no children, a rich husband and a fascination with waxing and fashion.  She and I and her disposable income visited a local pub and had a lovely bashing session on cows and their habits.  We decided to string the noose, let it hang and see what would happen.   Week 7 - a regular to our facility comes in with the same complaints as always for the past 5 years.  Tho her chart is noted with specific ways to reroute her requests, Bessy ignores them all and gives this woman everything she asks for.  Things that are detrimental to her well being and a possible money loss for the company.  I happen to be nearby so I'm able to subtly fix the ongoing major cow fuck up without the patient realizing I've just taken away everything she was given.  After she's happy and out the door, I take a small conference with Bessy to explain that reading the chart notes are vital to both the company's and the patients liveliness and to please not let anything even remotely like this happen in the future.  I explain, a bit condescendingly I admit, that although she's still new, her experience in this field should transfer over to the specific care we're pushing. I would refrain from reporting the incident if she would promise to be much more careful in the future. I've never seen a mouth puckered more like an asshole. The typical babytalk (ug) she'd use got even more cutesy. She was furious, trying to hide it and in no way succeeding.  As joy filled me, my completely hair free supervisor came strolling over to see why we were huddled in the corner instead of tending to our jobs.  Immediately, Bessy mooed her way into a fit of rage. "She yelled at me.  She made me feel bad. She told me I was wrong.  She keeps telling me to do things that take me away from my work. She doesn't like me. She told me to do this and now she's telling me not to. I'm confused. Everyone is mean. It's not my fault. ... and then the most perfect one ... She's too skinny. She needs to eat a snickers and then she'll be happier." As I stood there with a small grin, not even surprised at this outpouring of bullshit fat logic, my supervisor said the golden words.  As you're still here in a temporary capacity, you'll refrain from pointing fingers and complaining about the work.  Everybody in this building is your boss. If they tell you to do something, do it.  If they tell you how to do something, do it.  If you complain about the work, we're not going to keep you.  This is a small clinic - everyone has their part. If you don't do your part, we'll find someone who can.   Week 10 - Bessy doesn't really talk with me, anymore.  Awe.  If I ask her a direct question she's extremely rude.  This is not unnoticed.  We are an extremely small company and harmony is a must.  She and I are brought into conference with a supervisor - the one who places the interviews on the second floor - and are asked if there's a problem they can help solve as it seems tense between we two.   And she's off.  Every imagined slight. (which of course isn't really imagined) Every minor eye contact when she's eating her fast food.  Every comment I've made about something smelling off and hmm, I wonder what it is?  Do you think a mouse died in the walls? Every single contemptible remark I've made over the past 2 months is brought up and spewed out.  After she runs out of complaints, my supervisor asks me if I have anything to say.  I say of course not I'm not slighting her!  I'm not sure at all where half the things she said has come from, of course I wouldn't say anything detrimental about a temp that I voted to hire! (i didn't but it's anonymous so... ) I'm not sure what's wrong with Bessy but our healthcare does offer Psychological sessions and a free gym membership.  I offered Bessy to come exercise and swim with myself and my colleagues after shift because Exercise gives you endorphin's. Endorphin's make you happy.  ... she didn't get the reference. Sigh. Such a good line, too.  We leave the conference with a date to go swimming after work.  She didn't show. Week 11 – The week we've all been waiting for. A client came in on a Tuesday and was given improper care.  Nothing seriously detrimental .. but improper.  On Thursday it was noticed.  Guess who!  Mooo.  After checking the chart, a coworkers initials showed he had given the care. After a what the fuck were you doing conference, it was proven that he would have been with 2 patients at once.  How can this be?  (he is the Kwisatz Haderach!) It can't.  Bessy has been using his initials.  After a call to the client, she confirmed that Bessy had given her treatment.  Cue up another cow conference - this time involving the whole team.  Giving Bessy a chance to defend herself, disposable income poses the following question: Why are you using someone else's initials to confirm work done?  Bessy has turned into a fish, her mouth moving in silent O's.  You could almost see the bubbles.  Colleague with actual initials states, I don't like her. She lies and she's lazy.  I could feel my eyes beginning to pop when Ms Wax asks for a show of hands - Who wants to hire Bessy?  Not a hand was raised. Bessy was escorted out. No tears were shed and cow slamming was enjoyed by all.  We now are on Week 4 with a new temp who enjoys hottubbing, older women and bad tattoos.  He's such an improvement.