Band Fatty Falls and Rips a Flag In my school's marching band, we've been  busting our behinds preparing for an upcoming contest. In our band, we've got some human sized people and people with a bit of chub on them, but there's one particular person who is a full blown planet. She's in color guard and one day all of the color guard got in trouble so they had to run a lap. The rest of us stood there watching them, and then it happened. The fatty's foot slipped and she fell and even rolled for a few seconds. With her rolling and the rest of the color guard running ahead of her, it was like a reenactment of the Indiana Jones boulder scene. Everyone's heads snapped towards the obeast and an attractive shitlord trumpet player laughed right in her face. The look of both embarrassment and rage on her moonface almost made me lose my shit as well. After about half an hour into practice, I heard a shuffling noise and gasps behind me. I turned around and standing in the middle of a recently gathered crowd was the fatty with her flag torn. Her lip began quivering, but the color guard leader pulled her aside before she could break into theatrics. They talked for a minute, and I guess they arguing because the fatty raised her voice and huffed off. The color guard leader walked back to her spot and she walked by me muttering "Fat bitch should know where she's going..." At that moment, I felt a sense of relief knowing that there were closet shitlords I plan on befriending.