Account Deleted By User I made my first post here the other day out of an extreme need to vent to those who understand the frustration of dealing with "bacon elementals" (someone else here introduced this phrase to me and it makes me lol so hard).  I hadn't expected that it would be so damn therapeutic to just let the hate flow... And yet here we are. I bitched about my coworker before, so now prepare thyself for a portrait of a fatass classmate who, sometime in the near future, could end up being your nurse.  It's going to be a sad day. We'll call her Douchebag because she's useless and does far more harm than good. Douchebag has greasy, poorly blonde-dyed hair.  Her skin is dull and greasy.  I am not exaggerating that she is 300+ pounds at ~5'6".  There's this grating, ugly voice that i associate with a particular type of female asshole... It's hard to communicate via words, but she has that voice. Like when an idiot thinks yelling louder will make someone understand English? I sit in the front row of our classroom right on the aisle, and whenever she would walk by me there was always a disgusting odor that accompanied her.  Everyone in class hates her.  Even the other fats. Douchebag has an insane medical story that either happened to her or a family member for every different medical condition we learn about.  Diseases that affect the white blood cell count?  Douchebag had an infection, and her WBC came back as having 1 single WBC. It was serious you guys, the doctors had never seen anything like it.  Hypertension? Her brother had blood pressure that averaged 200/150, and the doctors kept telling him to lose weight until they realized he had one of the world's strongest hearts... Douchebag went off in class one day about how fatphobic doctors won't help her sister with fertility treatments until she gets her BMI under 40. I am the most reserved, patiently suffering, bury-all-feelings-until-you-die Irish catholic sterotype you could hope to ever meet, but the day she started talking about her son's undescended testicles at the tail end of lecture on a friday afternoon after the instructor asked "are there any questions? You can all go if not" was the day i blurted out "if you'd shut the fuck up about your kid's junk we could all get the hell out of here..." (Side note: i have managed to go my entire life being able to say stuff like this because I am cute and little with a squeaky voice, i am in no way intimidating, so when i get really aggresive people just think it's adorable and laugh)(not trying to be arrogant, i'm not beautiful or particularly pretty, the word people describe me with is cute or adorable. If i had a shitty personality i would definitely be described as ugly) So i said that and everyone laughed.  She looked at me like she wanted to eat me, but is aware enough of social dynamics that she'd lose face if she reacted.   After every test, Douchebag asks every single person what score they got on their test, and with every ask she bumps up her own score. She's always gotta one-up. There's this beautiful girl in our class who looks like a red head 50's pin up we'll call Spitfire.  Douchebag asked her how much weight she'd gained from nursing school (hint: none, douchebag just wanted to undermine her). Spitfire's eyes flare with fury and she responds "how many countries have starved because of you?"  Douchebag cried to the program director, so Spitfire cried back, the pretty girl won thankfully because the program director is fat, but also male. I love Spitfire. I wish i were gay just because she's awesome lol.   At our clinical sites i have seen Douchebag interact with patients. She has zero empathy and zero charisma.  Her face always has this scrunched up squinty eyed look.  I once saw an elderly man shudder when he looked at her. She barges into patient rooms and yells at them. Everytime there are project presentations she wants to turn the day into a potluck dinner.  This pisses me off because if we didn't have to accomodate people eating then presentation days could actually be go home early days.  She brags about what a good cook she is, then brings in crockpots full of bullshit canned salsa tossed into velveeta acting like this is some kind of culinary delight. She's 40 something but flirts with the 18 year old dude in our class because he works at chik-fil-a... Every time there's a potluck she makes him bring in a platter and jugs of sweet tea. The last time this happened he "accidentally" brought in unsweetened tea.  I hate sweet drinks and i refuse to touch anything at the potlucks, but i was pretty stoked about unsweet tea being an option for once, and as i was pouring some she literally screamed from across the room "stop! Don't drink it, it's not sweetened!" I rolled my eyes and said that i hate sweet drinks.  She had that look on her face like when dogs are trying to figure out what you're saying, except it's cute when dogs do that. In our program a clinical failure is supposed to result in a failure for the semester.  One day a clinical instructor failed her, then wrote on the eval that she was certain Douchebag will kill someone someday and advised her to reconsider her career choice. Of course Douchebag went to the lardass program instructor and cried and somehow she passed the semester, despite the policy, because apparently the evaluation of the clinical instructor was so strongly worded that there's simply no way it could be an objective evaluation?  Anyway, if you end up in a hospital in the midatlantic appalachian region, and you get a fat nurse, i hope you're not the one she kills. Thanks for letting me bitch in this post, you don't know how much i appreciate the outlet.