Here's the thing.  I don't fucking care what happened to you, if you let it ruin your life that's on you.  Life is a thing, bad shit happens. People you love can die suddenly and unexpectedly. Bad things can happen to you. Regardless of what happened to her, she should inspire others to be strong by overcoming tragedy, not use it as an excuse to play victim.  Hello lady, your dead brother wouldn't want you to use his death as an excuse for you letting yourself go.  He'd want you to be strong and live well for the years he couldn't have. My grandparents lost their entire family and everyone they knew in the Holocaust and had to move to a country where they didn't speak the language and didn't know anyone.  They didn't cry about it on tumblr or beg for pity points on youtube. They made a fucking life for themselves and did everything in their power to move on and live a better life.