This is perfect (pun!) summary of perfectionism. The constant doub in ones ability is soul crushing. Its eating you up from the inside.   And than guilt for even slight sign of what you call "weakness". No place for eorrors, mistakes, no slip ups. Lack of any empathy towards yourself because even if you break a leg and cant walk, you still can crawl.. Because nothing is an excuse good enough for yourself because everything is just... An excuse....