I like that idea. In the meantime... I'm staying at a hotel this week. The fitness centers are all too small, but hey - any exercise is better than fatness.  So I'm about done my workout when a fat person comes in. It's texting while walking (waddling) on the treadmill at 3mph while I'm running 9mph. I felt a rumble in my tummy. Decided to slow down so I could hold on a little longer (eventual fart imminent). I do a quick cooldown and let it rip, then left. Dropped a bomb in the exercise room just to ruin a fat person's "workout"