"Why aren't you, bitchtits?" SO and I were minding our own business at the municipal pool on a hot day.  We don't normally go, but decided to go get in some laps and have fun.   I should clarify, we aren't casual swimmers, so we are both in a mix of tri-suits and rash guards from our surfing days to keep off the sun.  I haven't been to the beach to "sun tan" since I was a kid in Miami.  We just own sports gear.  We are also nearing 40, and we are past the spring break look.  Skin cancer is for tards. We are waiting in line for a couples water slide when a buffalo behind us grunts at me "Why are you wearing a girls swimsuit?" The thing was a lard golem of at least 300lbs.  It had a smirk on its face, evidently it felt clever for implying my body suit was "for women".  I could have explained surfing, triathlons, my recent move, or the impact of UV light on cancer likelihood.  Instead I looked at the grotesque shirtless slob and asked, "Why aren't you, bitchtits?" Bonus: The water slide had a 300lb weight limit.  Bitchtits didn't get to ride.