Had a spare ten minutes so rewrote some lyrics. I present: 'Obese Kid' Dear diary  Mood: always hungry My life is spiraling downward  I couldn't get enough money to go to the Ironman Triathlon in Arizona.   It sucks cause they do some of my favorite exercises like Sink like a Stone Because I Can't Swim and Rip Apart My Lycra and of course Waddle Waddle Thigh Chafe and It doesn't help that I couldn't get my gut to do that six-pack thing either,  Like that skinny bitch from that magazine can do...Some days... Cos I'm an obese fuck, I'm as tubby as can be.  You'd be a fat fuck too if you ate like me I have a gut to my knees and stretch marks on my face  I'm so curvy I can't even reach to shave my legs But it tastes so great when it's covered in ranch  The menu said 'share platter for three'   Bitch I call this a snack  Cos our chicks look like dudes and our dudes all have tits Ree obese and healthy, just look at my Fitbit Stop my breathing cos fats crushing my throat   I must be obese