I read a reddit thread a while back where a fatty described his "going out in public" ritual. In order to handle the inevitable poo in public, he carried a gallon-sized ziploc baggy with him. It contained a large metal spoon and wet wipes. If he had to poo in public, he would wrap some wipes around the business end of the spoon and use that to scoop out the poo left behind. I'm so sorry you had to read that.