"Really I just wanted the strawberry." Today, one of the hams at work brought three cakes in and left them in the break room. It claimed Easter as the occasion, but could have just as easily used "Friday." When my shift ended, I walked past the ham receptionist to the break room. I could smell the powerful perfume one of our massive (~325 lbs) couriers uses to mask its fupa-stench. I needed to enter the break room to get some things out of my locker. Before doing so, I thought to myself "when the door opens, I will see ham courier eating some cake." I opened the door and realized I was wrong. She was only serving herself some cake (with a large strawberry on top), not eating it yet. Anyhow, I was now alone in the room with it. I silently went to my locker to extract my effects.  Then it said to me "I wish I could just take the strawberry home. I love fruit." It couldn't bear to admit that it was craving the pure beetus. It had to try to convince me (who had been ignoring it) that it was only there for the berry and that the piece of cake underneath was merely an inconvenient encumbrance.  As I walked out I told it "You know they sell strawberries across the street." I motioned to the Whold Foods visible through the window.