Granny Shitlord, Mother of us All I usually don't pay much attention to senior citizens, they're just there. They do their shopping, they chat, they brag about their grandkids. But today, my perception of old people changed. I finally noticed that you don't see any fat geezers (pure coincidence, I'm sure) and that these precious senior folk can be brutal, savage shitlords. I've started taking the bus more often, since biking on icy roads is pure death, and I've had to start dealing with a lot of hams. It seems like every bus in this city carries at least 5 spare tyres... Anyways, I can usually avoid them by using my ability to stand up for more than 30 seconds at a time, but not all of us have that luxury. Namely, the seniors. Meet Grandma Shitlord, well into her 70s, finished her grocery run and lined up at the bus, behind me and in front of your typical beetusbreather. I step onto the bus, Granny steps onto the bus, fatty waits. I'm looking at her, she's looking at the bus driver. He kneels the bus, and then she gets on. The look of disbelief is pretty hidden on my face, Granny doesn't try so hard, she shakes her head and sits down in one of the seats at the front (reserved for elderly and disabled). That section is full, there's 1 or 2 seats at the back of the bus. Fatty walks up and awkwardly stands beside Granny. "You know you're supposed to let disabled people sit here." Now, I disagree with my new best friend's approach to this, but it's her life, her choices. Granny gets herself up, but before stepping away from the seat, she rips in a sweet old-lady voice. "You young ones have your fun, I'll walk to the back today because I know you'll be dead before I am leaning in and then I'll get my seat back." She said this pointing at the bottles of Betus Dew in her bag, it was priceless. She shuffled to the open seat at the back through a sea of very stunned faces. But Wait! There's karma! Turns out Fattass was getting off at my stop, and for the first time it seems. My stop has the most unexpected dip, it's at least an extra 6" from any other bus stop, and Whalerina had earned zero pity from the bus driver, so there was no kneeling to warn her. She was playing on her phone, probably tubbling about how she'd defeated the fat-hating old hag, and didn't see the drop. She stepped off, and ate fucking dirt. Right in front of Granny, who I could see laughing (I was already off the bus, but she definitely saw it). It was a truly glorious day.