The Shitlord Contract Inspired by The 'Fat Acceptance' Contract post, I figured it would be good to lay it all out.  Suggestions welcome! The Shitlord contract: I, _____________, being of sound mind and body, hereby declare that I will be better than I am now. No Fatties It is with this contract that I aspire to an impressive, fulfilling life of awareness, happiness, and self-improvement. Signature ________________________ Date __________ [edit] added bullet about friends/family [edit] added no fatties [edit] expanded on past performance/future results