Dear god... It wants to be a cop!! So I want to go into law reinforcement when I grow up. (I'm 16)  Also I wanna be a body builder and open a gym only for thin and swole people, no fatties allowed, but that doesn't pertain to this story. So as far as I can tell, the standards for becoming a cop is way to low. The fitness tests are a joke (you have to run a 10 minute mile and do 50 push ups and 50 sit-ups in one sitting, so its basically the equivalent of a light workout.) In addition, they don't train nearly enough. To an extent this is a necessity, as it is very hard to find people willing to risk their lives for a relatively low paying job. Ideally we need to pay them more and make it harder to become one, so we get higher quality members, but in our current situation, mediocrity is a necessary evil. But thankfully is somewhat made up for by people who aspire to be good regardless of if they have to or not.  But fat cops... I fucking HATE fat cops. They are useless in every way. They can't enforce the law (literally their only job) coming of as laughable and unable to command authority at all. Due to this and their inability to think from all the butter clogging their brains, they are complete utter shit at their dutys. I have a theory that police shootings are going up because a fat officer cannot chase down a criminal (nonlethal), defend themselves without using their gun (nonlethal) or be able to fucking use a gun reactivly, because they have to constantly watch their footing so as to not rip off their beetus feet, forcing them to shoot proactively. So they are much, much, much more likely to shoot people. Giving what should be considered a noble job a very negative reputation. In short, fats should be banned from public service. Or better off killed in concentration camps, but I'm willing to settle. Now that I have made myself clear, let me tell you about the beast that wants to be a police officer. I go to a krav maga class religiously, haven't missed a day in except when I am sick in half a year. Our head instructor is a cop turned EMT, and a second degree black belt. In the MMA world, our school is pretty close to the top. As a result a rather large handful of local police go to these classes to keep their skills sharp. They are all awesome dudes and a joy to train with.  A couple weeks ago a new class-manatee showed up. Shes 250 pounds, is greasy and smelly, with an ugly face and a shitty tumblr haircut. Ive only trained with her a couple times, as I mostly hang out with the higher level students. The few times I have though, she is truly aweful. Worse than sweaty mc fattass in her own way. While more sweaty and stinky, at least he exercised enough to struggle. This cunt however, 1/16 ass's EVERYTHING. Every motion is weak and lazy, she doesn't try to use proper form whatsoever, and makes excuses constantly. Its like training with someone with cerebral palsy, except she is capable of doing it properly, she just doesn't. On top of that it thinks its INCREDIBLE, gives unsolicited advice constantly, and tells the higher level students that she could kick there butts. I looked into its gym bag once and it was full of snacks. Candy bars, chips, soda and Gatorade. When the class takes a quick brake to hydrate, she OPENS A CANDY BAR AND EATS IT!! Then she WASHES IT DOWN WITH GATORADE. After being taking classes for a couple of weeks she signed up for the next belt test (most people take 6 months at least before their first one, 3 if they are going fast. When she takes the test she will have been training for... a month...) After turning in her form to my frowning instructor, she then looked around beaming, as if expecting everyone to applaud her. An awkward silence later she sulked out. But the worst part is... SHE WANTS TO BE A COP!!  After class one day she was talking to a one of the cops. I was sitting next to them changing out of my mat shoes. She was asking the cop what physical requirements cops had to have. He told her the low requirements (incredibly light workout remember?) and the fat was stunned.  "Huff Huff I wanna be an officer so bad but the fitness tests are so unfair and discriminatory! huff puff"  Cop: "You gotta earn it though. They cant let just anyone be an officer" "Wheeeeze, I didn't choose to be fat though, its like if they didn't let black people be cops!" The cop walked away, in a desperate attempt to avoid catching her stupidity.  Fuck dudes. She would make the absolute worst officer EVER! If she cannot muster the effort to do a lite workout once, how is she supposed to enforce the law fairly? How can she help citizens and be a productive me of society, when all she cares about is how much beetus she can purchase with her salary? WHY THE FUCK DOES SHE EVEN WANT TO BE A COP? I think she just noticed that people generally respect the police and wants that for herself, sorta like how fats wear workout clothes just for the thin skin of fitness, even if it is obviously bullshit. My one consolation is that belt test. Its a few weeks away, and its gonna be glorious. Belt tests are brutal, I am in great shape, and I am just barely capable of handling them. Its like a marathon, three and a half hours of constant exercise, with HIIT mixed in for good measure. There is no way in hell this fattys gonna make it through, and her temper tantrum is going to be delicious.  Tl;Dr I want to be a cop. I hate fat cops. Worse ham I know wants to be a cop. Fuck.