When your barista calls you something every "quirky" fat chick is just dying to be called and you immediately think of FPH... So I did some shopping at the target next to my apartment today, and they have a starbucks inside. I don't usually pay much attention to who the barista is, b/c I don't really care. But today it was a petite, fairly cute (flamboyantly gay) little asian looking dude serving me, and a fat, ethnically ambiguous tumblrina with bad skin, a blue stripe in her hair, and painfully "retro" problem glasses.  I ordered a grande earl grey tea, and a tall iced americano for my fiance. Apparently I've been in there often enough now that I'm a "regular" and the human barista remembered my order and said he calls me "Vintage Barbie" when he sees there b/c I "have that look". (Full disclose: I have no idea what he's referring to, as I dress mostly in baggy jeans and sweatshirts on my off days, which is when I go grocery shopping mostly. Maybe its because I just got bangs?) The Tumblrista said "Omg I hate barbies they're so creepy" and then proceeded to stare at me for an awkwardly long amount of time. It was a super nice compliment from the gay guy anyways, and I said thank you and made smalltalk with him while the fatty took like 10 unnecessary minutes to make one fucking americano. Yes, its a really boring story, but I reflected on it afterwards and I came to the realization that fat girls who dress "retro" and "pinup" in a misguided attempt to look attractive would probably KILL for an offhand compliment like that one - a compliment I, an average HUMAN, got wearing weekend mom clothes. No wonder the coffee walrus in her cat eye glasses and winged liner looked so uncomfortable! Of course I can't be sure, but I really hope  triggered her with my mere existence xD  tl:dr Ugly fatty is awkward and makes things weird for her cute coworker, & I'm sorry for wasting y'alls time with this anecdote.