For Clarification:  The Fatty Anal Sex Position (via the Kama Fupa : 10,000 sex positions for pugly-fuglies ) The female piggy gets on her hands and knees, and spreads her weight over the five load-bearing structures of her body (hands, fetlocks and fupa).  In this way her body forms a 5-legged tripod with her appendages spread in a circle around the central column of her fupa, like a cholesterol pillar supporting a bloated tumor at each corner. The male squats down behind the female and rests his beer gut on her lower back.  He lowers his bulk and supports himself on his shanks.  This is usually accompanied by wheezy flem-flecked sputtering about what an amazing lover he is.  If the male hasn't fallen into a beetus coma at this point, he then attempts to impale the female on his penis (or at least pantomime the activity.  If the female has beetus nerve damage, she might be tricked into thinking she's actually engaging in coitus.)    The encounter ends when both participants experience shooting pain in their left arm and jaw, or until Maury Povitch comes on.  Whichever is first.