Luftschwein and the Quest for REEEEEEEE To the shitlord on the flight this morning from Minneapolis to Chicago, I want to buy you a beer. Our plane arrived early at Chicago, and almost immediately on coming to a rest from taxiing, Luftschwein, a 5'5" 400lb femayo planet hopped out of its seat and waddled forward rudely trying to be the first off the plane.  Closely behind it was a little fat greasy kid whose gender and age was unknowable.  Luftschwein was talking to its lard spawn saying "You just have to get up and push your way past people like how I taught you on a bus", waggling its chins excitedly. Unfortunately for Luftschwein, we had just stopped, we didn't have a jet bridge, and were simply waiting.  Fifteen minutes pass and the sweating hulk is obviously suffering from the pain of supporting its bulk on its aching, cartilage free, joints.  It and grease spawn turn around to find their seat and a tall, trim, shitlord just stood up and blocked the way. "We have to get back to our seats.  My legs hurt!" Shitlord responded, "You just rudely tried to push your way to the front.  I think you can stand." Luftschwein continued to REEEEE, increasingly hysterically.  The flight attendants still in their jump seats ignored it and the other passengers either ignored it or said "next time don't push your way to the front", etc. It was only another ten minutes until they began deplaneing, so a grand total of 25 minutes standing, and Luftschwein was blubbering and crying when it got off.   As I exited the plane I saw it complaining to the customer service agent.  Still crying. Dear anonymous shitlord, you rock.