The Fat Bridesmaid, Part 3: The Bachelor Party For your reading pleasure, I present part 3 in The Fat Bridesmaid Saga! Part 1 Part 2 My sister is getting married next month, and yesterday was the bachelor party. Initially, it was supposed to be a joint bachelor/bachelorette party, but a bunch of the ladies bailed, so my sister cancelled her half of it. No biggie, my sisters and I went shopping, and we met the groom and his buddies for dinner at a place that was half restaurant, half arcade (think Chuck-E-Cheese for grown-ups). One of the groomsmen, we'll call him FitBro, is desperately single. He's mid-thirties, very fit & attractive, but works a lot and is extremely introverted, so he's had a bit of trouble meeting someone. From what my sister tells me, he's at that point in his life where he wants to settle down and start a family, so he frequently asks her to set him up with her single friends, of which my sister has none, except The Fat Bridesmaid. So there's about a dozen of us (including a few ladies) seated for dinner. I'm seated across from FitBro, beside my sister, and diagonally across from my other sister. The bride realizes she forgot to tell The Fat Bridesmaid that we left for the restaurant, because apparently she wanted to meet us for dinner. She says, "oh crap, I forgot to tell {Fat Bridesmaid} we were leaving! I better message her!" and FitBro asks, "is your friend single?" Almost at the same time, myself and both of my sisters turn to FitBro and say, "no, FitBro, just no." My sister (the bride) clarifies: "she's single, but trust me, she's not your type." FitBro looks a little disappointed, but doesn't ask anything else about the subject. About half an hour later, The Fat Bridesmaid arrives. My sister gets up to greet her, and then introduces her to the rest of the table, including FitBro. The waiter has brought an extra chair for The Fat Bridesmaid, and puts it at the opposite end of the table. She goes to sit down, and once she's out of earshot, FitBro, my other sister, my husband and I all burst out laughing. FitBro goes, "OK, I can see why {Bride} said she's not my type! I mean, I don't have insanely high standards, just don't be fat. You don't have to be gorgeous, just don't be fat." I whole-heartedly agree with FitBro, and he laments, "that's why it's so hard for me to find anyone. Girls nowadays don't take care of themselves, they're all huge." Bonus: We have a few laughs at fatty's expense, and then she decides that she doesn't want to sit at the other end of the table, she wants to come sit by me and my other sister. So fatty picks up her chair and squeezes past everyone else at the table to come sit at our end. We've almost finished our meals at this point (fatty showed up too late to order) but my sister offered to get her a menu from the waiter. "No, that's OK," says fatty, "I'm not hungry anyways, I just ate." Then fatty starts stealing french fries off my sister's plate! My sister asks if she wants her fries and pushes the plate towards fatty, but again she claims that she's not hungry. "It's OK, you can have them, I'm full," my sister says. Then fatty has the balls to tell her that she's too skinny (my sister is about 5'9" and 125lbs) and that she needs to eat them! My sister, clearly uncomfortable, forces a laugh, and jokes, "it's OK, French Fries don't have any calories, you eat them." Fatty finishes off my sister's fries, and whines, "you're so lucky you're skinny. I try so hard but just can't lose the weight. If we could trade places, I'd do it in a heartbeat." TL;DR: A group of us are out to dinner for my soon-to-be-brother-in-law's bachelor party. The Fat Bridesmaid will be arriving late. One of the fit groomsmen asks if she's single (not knowing she's a planet) and we tell him not to bother with this one. When he actually sees her, he is repulsed, and hilarity ensues. The Fat Bridesmaid ends up eating all the french fries off my sister's plate, then whines that my sister is skinny and she's a lard goblin. Edit: Check out part 4 of the tale here!