The Fat Bridesmaid: Mini-Story I went to visit my parents yesterday. My sister and her husband were also there. My mom wanted to go to Carter's/Osh Kosh (it's a babies/kids clothing store) to buy a new jacket for my son, so I said OK. My sister came with us. Mom drove, my sister sat shotgun, and I sat in the back seat. For some reason, the topic of conversation turned to The Fat Bridesmaid. Even though she's a disgusting sack of lard, she's still one of my sister's best friends. My sister was prattling on about how even though The Fat Bridesmaid is a "bigger girl" she still dresses for her body type. Not sure how you can "dress for your body type" when your body type is "a garbage bag filled with cottage cheese walking around on tree trunks" but OK. I figure it's best not to say anything shitlordy because I'll be outnumbered in this situation, and can't just walk away. So I stay silent. Then my sister says The Fat Bridesmaid started whining to her about how she felt fat. Guys, she's only 5'3" and has to be nearing 300 pounds - she's not just fat, not just obese, but morbidly obese. My sister isn't blind, she knows this, but she still has a soft spot for the ham. (For comparison, my sister is about 5'5" and ~110 pounds.)  My sister offered to get a gym membership with The Fat Bridesmaid, saying that they could keep each other motivated and maybe they'd feel less awkward at a gym if they went together. Of course, The Fat Bridesmaid said no. This is where I piped up: "Diet is 80% of the issue when it comes to weight loss. Exercise is only a fraction of it. She needs to fix her diet before she heads to the gym or else she will get hurt." My sister agrees with me, but says that The Fat Bridesmaid refuses to eat any fruits or vegetables, doesn't know how to cook, and gets take-out constantly. "I tried talking to her about her diet," my sister said, "but she doesn't want to change. She's too picky, she won't eat anything healthy. I've tried talking to her about her diet, but this is what she told me: 'this month is Hallowe'en, next month is my brother's birthday, the month after that is Christmas, and my birthday is in January. There's going to be cake and candy. There's no point in trying to eat healthy.' " I almost couldn't believe it. The Fat Bridesmaid was trying to argue to my sister that since there was a special occasion on one day each month for the next 4 months, she couldn't eat healthy or practice portion control the other 119 days. It's all or nothing with hams, there's no moderation ever. Then my sister adds, "I can't believe it. The excuses she comes up with are just ridiculous. She says the stupidest shit and she never takes responsibility for being fat." I think my sister is slowing coming over to the dark side.