Another tale about office hams Here’s one from my office job: I may work in a city with one of the highest obesity rates, but my particular office has a higher than average human-size population.  Why?  Because we rely heavily on face-to-face sales; we have a fancy office where we hold lots of open houses; we do tours regularly.  This doesn’t mean we don’t have our office hams.  A lot of us aren’t actually customer-facing, and so a number of them who stay in the office gained weight.  I think I’ve only seen one or two actually be hired on overweight; they usually just got lazy and gained it.  I don’t know if this particular sheham started out overweight or has just gained a metric ton of weight, but she’s about 5’6” or 5’7” and I’d eyeball in the mid to upper 300s. Apparently sheham has Crohn’s.  I don’t know much about Crohn’s, but she is out this week due to surgery.  We don’t work closely so I’ve rarely had occasion to witness her fatlogic first hand, but I have overheard other office workers state that she’s claimed her excess has to do with having a kid and having Crohn’s.  Right.  Not like it’d have anyyything to do with the fact that we have to send company-wide emails on the regular about not stealing clients’ lunches we set out because your ass keeps stealing them.  She’s in the rotation that I’m in to cover the receptionist’s lunch time, which gives her ample opportunity to get up and snag lunches left out for clients.  I actually had to be warned when I started to cover the front to not let this cow snag one.  Even though she works on the third floor, she’ll melt her way down the fucking stairs to come grab second or third lunch (because of course she already went on her own lunch). No, of course it’s the kid and Crohn’s lady.  And she always wears dresses that show off her bulging calves and shins, so I’ll just leave off on that note.  shudders