Bessy for hire - part duex. again - long story The original Bessy story Firstly, I'd like to give an anonymous shoutout to our new bad tattoo and older women guy, as he is working out wonderfully!  He's currently enjoying the Tony awards and free weights, as he's never been exposed to either.  We've recently lost a worker so we're back on the hiring trail.  One of the new upper management decided it would be a brilliant idea to interview an old co-worker of his. As he is a GymRat and shares healthy snacks instead of sweet treats, we gave him the A-OK to bring her in for a look. Because I'm posting again in FPH, you'll of course understand that she is a smaller version of Bessy.  Again - the interview went swimmingly!  Bessy2 was dressed well, spoke eloquently and was nice and clean.  As my whole team has their eyes opened to reality, we were hesitant to even consider her.  There were several outright fuck no!'s. Our new GymRat pressured the rest of his team to give her a try as he's worked with her for years and she's brilliant, perfect, lovely, smart, quick... pick your favorite adjective, he threw them all out there. Disposable Income and I sit silently and watch it unfold.  Kwisatz Haderach has much to say as he didn't want a repeat of his last encounter with the mentally and physically useless. Captain Oblivious wanted to give her a chance as she seemed nice.  The rest of the team just wanted more help so their YES vote won the majority.   It's important to know that we, as a small team, have to agree with all decisions and work in harmony or daily life will quickly devolve.  Because of this, we've all become outside friends - we exercise, swim, picnic, hike, rockclimb, bicycle ... we're an active group with lots of love for moving around which puts us in fun situations like chasing someones dog around the park or helping out a pack of teenagers as they're tracking their little pokemons.   Because we are healthcare and short staffed, the majority won and we hired her.  Yes - you heard that right. We outright hired her.  She didn't come from outsourcing - she was a suggestion by a manager.  So they brought her on.  As history repeats itself, for the first few weeks there was a nice, polite, clean cow in my office.  Eating healthy snacks at appropriate times.  As time went on, the hair would be greasy. The salad turned into brownies.  The clothes - not so clean.  And the smell. My god, the smell.  I only had one encounter and it was a doozy.  She and several patients were chatting about secret pleasures - of course it revolved around the food variety.  That's not exactly where my mind first takes me... but I digress.  One made a comment about eating cookie dough..uncooked.  Right out of the container.  I audibly gasped and the patient laughed and said - oh, c'mon, i'm sure you've done that.  I responded that I didn't know it was actually edible and aren't the raw eggs bad for you?  That day I learned that they sell cookie dough to be eaten, uncooked.  Ew.  After that, Bessy2 waxed poetic about eating frosting right from the container.  The whole container.  I really couldn't help wondering outloud why you wouldn't just bake a cake and have a slice or even run to the corner store for a candybar.  And then it happened.  Those lovely words. "Of course you wouldn't understand - you're too skinny." I didn't hold back a bit.  I actually turned away from my patient and faced her.  You're right, Bessy2. I don't understand. It's called pride. And don't call me skinny.  Call me fit. Because that's what I work at.  How would you feel if someone you've known less that 6 months called you obese? I've never seen a face go from red to white and back to red again in such a short period of time.  As a medical professional, I was a little worried that I may have triggered her to death.  It took her a minute, but she started breathing again.  She passed her patient off and stomped her way into Disposable Incomes office.  After a minute, I was called in myself.  As I was leaving 2 patients without a provider, I made a comment to DI that I've been in this situation before and, frankly, didn't have time to defend myself from work hazing until the patients were cleared.   With a small hidden grin, Disposable Income took her back to her office and spoke with her about the inappropriateness of the word skinny.  And about hygiene and it's importance in a healthcare environment.  The mooing that resulted could be heard through two doors. We heard boxes falling and what sounded like a chair being toppled. As we all looked over in disbelief, the door opened and Bessy2 comes out with tears and snot running down her flabby face.  As Disposable Income is a lovely woman who takes zero shit, she spoke to her rapidly retreating back and said 'Come back in here, Bessy2, and lets finish our conversation.'  To no avail, Bessy2 runs out the door, gets in her car and she's gone.   Our team is still doing our job, attempting to ignore and gloss over the spectacle that is typical for the weak obese. A few patience make mention of the walkout but we gloss over the rough spots and turn the conversation back to work. Disposable Income walks through the floor and, with a smile and small laugh, says I'm going up to talk to GymRat - let me know if Bessy2 comes back in.  Within 2 minutes, GymRat was down the stairs and out the door, chasing after his lovely, adjective filled suggested hire.  Disposable Income emails everyone with an invitation to the pub after work.   At the pub, we monopolize the dart boards and have a lovely bashing session about Bessy2 AND Bessy1.  (If I may break into the story and make a suggestions, Fosters and bashing go hand in hand.  It's a must try.)  Disposable Income lets us know that, because we have a one year contract with Bessy, it may come to litigation if she doesn't get her shit together and act human.  I've always been in DI's corner - the rest are finally coming to the realization that fat is bad and it should be avoided at all costs.  Especially in the workplace.  We have nothing to do but wait and see if she comes back.   Sorry to end on a cliffhanger.  If she does return, I'll continue our story. for future reference, my original /u/pettycows is locked and inaccessible, i'm sorry to say.