Almost Died to a Donut-seeking Ham So, after this thread yesterday, I wanted a donut on the way to work.  (That's singular, tubby.)  I stop by my local place (Hypnotic) and I'm annoyed right off the bat, because some Precious Mommy has all of her Bimbo Van doors flung wide open in both front spaces while she straps her crotchfruit into some contraption that I guess could survive reentry from orbit.  (I wonder if there is an interest in PreciousMommyHate?)  Minor annoyance because I don't mind walking an extra 30 feet in a parking lot, since I'm not worried about knee explosions. I get my donut, get in my car, look both ways, and start backing out.  About halfway through, a giant SUV heaves into view, and it is moving.  I look at the driver (as I'm in the middle of the aisle) and this porker is barreling straight at me with the hugest look of sheer glee I've ever seen -- and she's not even looking in my direction.  She is looking straight at the donut shop door.  She's fixated on it like a dog does when you wave bacon in front of it.  I slam the car into drive and get back into my space just as this beast swerves into the (thankfully now empty) front door spot.  ERMAGARD DONURTS!  REEEEEEEEE!!! At no point does this fatard ever look in my direction.  It's like nothing in the world existed but this ham, her planetary mover and the donut shop.  She swerved through a right, another right, and a left, and she never looked at anything but the front door of the fried dough and sugar emporium.  I'm just glad I got my donut before she cleaned the damned place out.