Semi-funny, semi-sad experience with fats I just remembered an incident that happened last summer and thought you guys would enjoy the story. I worked as a lifeguard/swim instructor at an outdoor pool. 95% of all the lifeguards I've ever worked with have been athletes or just kept themselves in good shape, so there's a lot more shitlords and shitladies to go around. The pool I was working at was small and quiet, with almost no incidents of complaints or rowdiness, let alone major accidents or situations. That all changed the day we were visited by the Ham Planet family. The father was grossly morbidly obese (I'm estimating 450 pounds) and the mother was around 275 pounds; they had a 10-year old son, but he was astoundingly normal-sized. They waddled to the office entrance and began asking whether their son could swim in the pool. The rules are that, at his age, he has the pass the swim test in order to swim alone; otherwise he needs someone in the water with him. They immediately start complaining about this and making it obvious that they're not getting in the pool under any circumstances (duh). To top it off, the mother had a fast-food order and drink with her, which isn't allowed on the pool deck, and she complained about getting rid of that, too. They finally agree to the rules and go out on deck. Their son had to do the swim test about four times before he could do it well enough to pass it, and the only reason he was allowed to it that many times was because it was a very quiet day and there was barely anyone in the pool. The parents kept complaining and the father was saying that the rules are unfair, that he knows important people and that he could call them to get things done (sure, buddy). He also said that it's stupid that we had so many lifeguards at such a quiet pool, that his tax dollars paid for us (does he mean his welfare checks?) and basically threatened to get someone fired. The Ham Planets were there for a couple of hours and at least half of that time was occupied with them whining and trying to find a loophole in the rules. Our pool in-charge was the sweetest woman I've ever met, and even she was completely disgusted with the parents and was shocked at how fat and gross they were. The other lifeguards and I kept giving them dirty looks and making fun of them behind their backs, since we couldn't be outwardly rude to them or we would pretty much get in trouble. The Ham Planet family came back several times after that - one time they completely freaked out because their son failed the swim test and couldn't take it again because the pool was so busy. They kept calling our superiors, which was an enormous pain in the ass for everyone involved, since they basically ranted about regulations and talked in circles. The Ham Planet family eventually stopped coming, although it was fun to mock them with all the other lifeguards. To be honest, I felt sorry for the son more than anything - he looked completely embarrassed by his parents, and I hope he grows up to become a shitlord - that is, if his parents don't succumb to Lord Beetus first. I've got plenty more stories about dealing with fats at the pool, so let me know if you enjoyed hearing my whale-harpooning tales!