I only recently became okay with knowing how much I weigh. Numbers are no bueno for me! Different approaches work for different people, I'm sure. I get obsessive and spiral down quicker if I let myself have a scale. I graduated from coffee to other stuff when I lived alone. It made it easier to work and stuff while not eating. I no longer use that stuff even recreationally. Cannabis similarly helped to suppress appetite, but I continue to use it for pain management. I shy away from connecting with others in that way. I only recently started posting in /r/raisedbynarcissists and that was a hard step to make. I hope LeeLemon and active users don't take that as a criticism of the sub... I'm just not entirely in a headspace to have that as a part of my life right now. Idk how to explain it properly. Thank you for the thoughtful advice! It made me take a moment to reconsider where I'm at right now.