The Gunt Punt: A technique that may save your life, and the lives of others I just shit out a huge post in a comment, and wagered it should have its own notice/discussion. Feel free to upvoat either if you wish. Originally from these comments: https://voat.co/v/fatpeoplehate/comments/799550  On this article about people put at risk (or even dying) because of fat people holding up others in emergency stairwells in 9/11 (which was 15 years ago. Did people slim down since then? Yeah right, just the opposite. The "next 911", be it natural disaster, arson, domestic or international terrorism, will really be affected by this): http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/01/11/when-fitness-means-life-or-death/comment-page-6/ In the comments above, I presented this technique, The Gunt Punt. Copypasta ensues: Hi FPH. I've been taking martial arts most of my adult life, and I'm going to teach you one simple technique in this situation that may save your life. You're stuck walking down a four escape behind a Mayo Truck. It's a real situation: Fire, bombing, etc, and there's a real fear for your life. The mayo truck's life decisions have removed it from the survival pool, and yet here it is, blocking the stairwell like an adipose plaque deposit in an artery. Your life may be forfeit because of their poor decisions. What will save you? My friends, I present The Gunt Punt. The Gunt Punt is a simple kick that utilizes the basic laws of physics (like CICO) to clear the blockage in the most efficient manner, with the least amount of risk to yourself and other humans. You may think, "oh, this is no problem, I'll just kick him in the head/push them down the stairs!" NO. Doing it wrong can risk injury or even death (if you're prone when the tower falls) to you our humans. Here's the Gunt Punt. Please practice in your free time, like CPR, so that you're ready if the time comes. Here's the fundamentals: 1) Put yourself right behind the fat. Wait for the fat to be about 2 meters/ 6-7 feet from the next landing. Too low and it's ineffective. The fat will remain upright. Too high and it increases the risk of the fat falling prone on the stairs. You want them to fall on the landing. If they fall on the stairs, their disgusting mass will only serve as an obstacle to real humans trying to navigate over the mass. If they fall on the landing, it increases the chance that humans can safely navigate over the meat coffin. 2) It is a kick, not a push. You do not shove with your hands. If you have ever been a lifeguard, you know well that humans will flail and grab into whatever it can reach if it feels it's life is at risk. If you are pushing distance, they mayflail and grab at your arms or your body, increasing your risk.  You'd be surprised, even though they've shown zero regards for life until now, the moment before death all cundishunz and guhnetics and feels are forgotten in a last ditch instinct to cling to life. Too late, fatty. 3) The Gunt Punt, explained:  - Brace your hand on the stair rail. If it's possible to reach both rails, reach out and hold both. You're looking for maximum stablization for what comes next. Note: If you use both handrails, you'll have to be quick because likely there are others trying to edge past the stairway's arterial clog on their way to life. Cock your leg, bending the knee. This won't be a karate style "front kick" to do maximum bludgeoning damage. This will be basically a leveraged push, with your leg. Again, you're not doing a "street fight kick", more like a hand-shove but with your foot. Rest your foot (quickly) on the small of the back - center - of the mayo truck. It is likely that it won't feel this, given dulled flesh nerves and the lifetime of exertion its in the middle of doing. This is important: Make contact before pushing, this gives you more pushing leverage. Again, you aren't kicking like karate, you're pushing: And connecting with the tissue before pushing will give you maximum force if your knee is well-cocked. Lunge and push forward, extending your knee in an accelerated motion. Lunging forward is important to give yourself more leverage; in this way, even a 40kg waif could bring down a teetering 150+kg whale. However, be careful: Too much lunge and you risk putting yourself within flail-reaching distance, or else falling yourself. This is why the firm grip on the rail is important. That's THE most important thing, actually; if you lose your grip, you have a high risk of going down too. If you keep your grip, but your Gunt Punt was innefective (your foot slipped on their sweatyback-tits), you can always cock and try again within about 1.0-1.5 seconds before they have time to think or react. So KEEP THAT GRIP. When you lunge, just lunge forward maybe 10cm/6 inches, more if you can but don't overdo it (and risk losing grip). Think about when you see a kid on a people-mover in the airport, grabbing both moving rails, and doing a kind of parallel-bar hop forward. Basically that, only 10-30cm (6-12 inches), not a bum rush forward. You're just doing this to give your punt more leverage, it might not be needed with a good leg cock and a muscled leg; but again, since you may be a weaker human - but still human - that leverage you muster in a lunge will be as powerful as a second kick. ...and that should do it. The leverage, force and speed applied from practice should send the mayo truck tumblr-ing to the next landing, either injured and unconscious, so that humans can hop over them and continue their way to safety. Be warned, if they are hangry, they might lash out; just keep a firm grip on rails and avoid slow-moving beetus limbs and you should be safe. RECOVERY: An important thing in martial arts isn't just the smug self-congratulatory satisfaction of knowing a "perfect technique", it's planning for the unplannable; the times when a technique fails and you need to try something new. Here's some quick recovery techniques: Remember, keep that grip when you kick, that's the most important thing. You kick too early: No problem: Take a half-second to calm, cock, place the leg touching the back, and lunge again. Recovery should take less than a second. You kick, but slip on back fat/wobbly rear-tits: No problem. This likely happened because you were too rushed, and missed the small of the back and instead hit off center or too high. Just take a sec to calm, recover, and Gunt Punt again. You kick, but they maintain a grip on the rail and thus only halfway fall. Again, easy, but takes a little practice: NOW you're aiming for a kick instead of a lunge. You're kicking at the fat fist gripping the rail. This can be difficult, because they may have once been human and thus had muscles. But no worry, a firm, hard, shocking kick to the hand will loosen the grip enough to apply one more Gunt Punt. This time, though, they are likely half-turned. Just again aim for center of gravity (center of hips, now that they're half-turned) and punt again. But pull that leg back quick because likely they're realizing what's happening to them: They'll be frantic, lashing out to grab things, and Hangry.  If they fall in this way they may land on side or back, causing them to want to try to recover quickly: In this case, quickly make your way to the landing and jump on their chest once, that should do it. Keep moving. To help maintain the act in your expression, really picture the loved one that you want to return to, the loved one that the mayo truck wanted to sabotage you from seeing again. Picture their face in your head. Picture their face when they learn that "you didn't make it". Think of your long life with them, ended because of another person's bad life choices and feels. Now, wear that expression. People will back the fuck off. If you make it to the bottom, remember that if legal action follows, to firmly remember that you saved yourself and everyone behind you. Get a count of the people who came out after you if possible from surveillance footage: Every one of those people owes you their life, and that mayo truck should (but won't) receive a charge of Attempted Voluntary Manslaughter  (or equivalent in your country) for deliberately holding back the others and not simply dying with some respect so that others could live. Hopefully, like CPR or a firearm, you will never in your life need to utilize the Gunt Punt. But I hope that you learn it anyway, because if correctly utilized, it could mean the difference between 1 and 100+ bodies dying in that building blaze. Best of luck. Again, it is my sincerest wish that nobody needs to utilize this dehumanizing and violent technique, just like I hope that no one ever is required to actually utilize CPR or fire a firearm at another human being. But knowing how, if the time comes, could be the difference between the life and death of you or your loved ones.