I'm sorry you have had to deal with those demons. I've never had an ED, but I've had clinical depression since I was 12 and it sucks. It pisses me off to no end when fats trivialize any type of mental illness, especially eating disorders. I see you're new around here... if you're interested, mod @Leelem0n runs an ED support group here on Voat: /v/fuckeatingdisorders