[RANT] Fat people and lack of animal respect. Hams act like children round wild animals, grabbing and throwing fits if things don't go their ways, except we can calmly teach kids how to behave around these animals, hams on the other hand have fat on the brain...  I have a few tales of misfortune to share. Bit of quick backstory: My shitlord partner and I both like to get out and be with nature and the little critters that come with it, living in a flat means we have none of our own, so we spoil wild animals/other peoples pets instead- easiest is wild birds. However when you're standing in a park with wild birds perched on you happily you attract a crowd. This crowd oddly includes many moons (I can only assume they're outside because they are tourists to be honest). Here are the 'best' stories.  Partner managed to call down a massive flock of wild big birds, they chilled on a fence near my partner, and happily on him too. Had a massive crowd as it was a great photo chance and he was kindly sharing his seeds to kids - he likes to teach people about proper handling. Partner low on food/can't keep up with the requests so enter moontard to trying to feed one with a handful of nothing. Shoved hand in birds face, bird noped out of there in fright. Moon tried again, this time picking up a few seeds off the ground. Bird #2 was all 'yay seeds!' and let the ham get close, ham goes to try pat (again, WILD) the bird, bird nibbled his finger as a polite warning and the guy got "hurt" and he THEN WENT AND TRIED TO KICK AT IT.  What the flying moonfucks?! I growled and him, telling him it was a wild animal and not a pet and he just huffed off giggling to himself...   This time with DUCKLINGS - who doesn't love ducklings?! We're less polite with sharing this time, we don't want a massive crowd as they're babies and it's near deep water. People respect this by standing on the other side of the creek, or on the bridge and quietly watch as the ducklings eat out of our hands. Enter moon #2 "LOOK, PENGUINS!" we look around confused to see if it's just a joke. Nope. This guy mistook ducklings as penguins. Fat in the brain much? Anyway, we pack up, as we want to feed the bigger birds again, we leave a few mums and their quiet well behaved kids with feed and they get the joy of having ducklings chill with them. Partner notices moon out of his eye and asks me to wait. As the crowd is disappearing the ham decides it's now perfect time to get close and bend over to try grab a duckling... partner stops this by loudly calling him out, saying 'people are stupid and need to learn respect for animals' I follow up with 'and how to buy clothes that fit, and use a belt' as his arse hung out when he bent over. He huffed off embarrassed.   We are pet sitting a parrot. The owner takes his pet to work some days as a treat to us, he's a sweet heart, and loves everyone - well I thought. The first day I met him -he was smitten on me. We can just pass him round the office and everyone loves him. About an hour into the almost three hours security ham rolls (hehe, rolls...) round, oops I thought I was being too loud talking -mind you I was in the lunch room. Nope. Guy takes a seat and looks at me with the parrot super close to my face, as I had just been talking to him and says loudly 'be careful, he's really nasty, he bites, got me three times already today' Really? Me: 'oh? I've chilled with him multiple times and he seems okay...' he just huffs and goes back to "work." Certain pets I've found bond better with certain gendered strangers - this bird loves females, I say it's because we have two soft perches (if you catch my drift) I tell my partner the bird must have realised the manboobs were not fun perches and got upset. He lost his shit giggling...