FINAL UPDATE: EatBeast's Journal Reveal Alright, shitlords and shitladies, gather around this roaring bonfire and lend me your ears.  This past academic year, I lived with an awful Tumblrina. Weird tattoos and facial piercings, scrunched up face, list of condishuns miles long, thundering herd of demi-pan-sexWHALE-romantic-queer-burrito-anus-cappuchino-sexual friends. She smelled like a haunted, deserted OB-GYN office. She ate 7000 calories of cheese in one sitting. She went to a mental hospital because I asked her to clean. I'm not certain she owned a tooth brush. She shoved greek yogurt up her fetid birth hole to ward off the yeast infections she got monthly.  But now, she's gone. (Sadly not dead yet.)  I went to get the last bit of my shit from her foul cave of an apartment, and that's where I stumbled upon the journal she kept at the mental hospital. I approached that journal how she approaches a plate of beetus: with reckless abandon, soaking up every morsel, giving no fucks anything but the exact moment I'm living in.  I read that awful little journal. And here are some snippets and a summary.  Day One Fatty's talking about food. Wasting $1100 a day on this facility, taking a bed away from someone who actually needs it, and the cunt is talking about how the baked chicken didn't have flavor, and how they didn't give her a knife to eat it with. Well of course not, you retarded fuck. You tried offing yourself with Ocella (a brand of birth control...I wish I could make this shit up) so the staff knows you're fucking mental. And, the chicken probably did have a bit of flavor, but because it wasn't rubbed down in Cheeto-Taco-Bell-Beetus-McDicks you couldn't recognize the rosemary or whatever it was.  Fatty goes on to talk about how all its mental hospital friends mocked the classes they had to take the first day. Yeah, forget trying to better yourself in the hospital, just go ahead and waste the resources and lead the whole class off topic. I can just see her now, mocking the teachers and doctors, and the doctors taking everything in their willpower to not off them.  Day Two Here are some direct snippets. I took pictures on my phone, but I'm going to type them here, because her handwriting looks like a blisteringly retarded aardvark got ahold of some sidewalk chalk with its anus and tried to create something.  Here, she's talking about one of her freaky mental hospital friends. To this fucking day, she goes around hanging out with this friend and actually tells people they met in the mental hospital, like it'll get her free Wok Express or something: Sometimes she just stares off into space and I wish I could stare off into space and go with her to wherever she is.  From this sentiment, we learn that she's retarded and weirdly sentimental. Ew. Gross.   Here's another: Anna sometimes just screams and screams. I wish I could scream and scream too. From these two examples, and many more, I can already see a pattern here. She's trying to make herself a lot alike to other mental hospital people, which means she's probably trying to mate with one of them. I am 99.99% sure that livestock trying to mount actual psychiatric patients is sexual assault.  Day Three Here's the fucking crux. She hasn't said a word about me up until this point. Even when she was talking about how much it blew to be fat (I'll get to that later on in this day), I haven't come up. You know that this means? I really should've tried harder.  Fatty's grades are slipping. She's generally fucking up. She writes that she tried to break her own wrist, so she wouldn't have to go to class to take notes. At our university, there is a program that will have someone take notes for you--free of charge-- as long as you're there to participate. Simple as that. She had a list of ways she tried to google breaking one's own wrist, and she went on to say that none worked. Jesus Christ on a Pogo Stick, fatty! Just sit on your own wrist! Boom! Wrist bone is fractured into smithereens.  Alright, so apparently the "fierce goddess" isn't as proud as she tried (and failed) to have us all believe. She never directly said she wished to be thin, but instead: "I wish I looked like Gabrielle (her younger sister or cousin, I forget, 17) because Gabrielle gets whatever she wants from our parents." She went on to list how Gabrielle was selfish when she didn't respect her new pronouns, and chastised Gabrielle when she said, "Some people in this family have real problems, Fatty!"  I love Gabrielle.  Day Four MY BIG DEBUT. Yes, after four days of being in a fucking mental ward over what I allegedly did to her, my name comes up! I took a picture of this, but I'm not posting it because it contains my actual name. In this paragraph, I'm going to be going by Katie.  I met Katie the summer after my freshman year, because we were both looking for a roommate. I could tell right away she wasn't thrilled to be living with me, (OH REALLY NOW? Was my nose crinkling up when we first met because of your obesity or your stench?) but I wanted to make the best of it. For one, she's really carefree. Like, she just walks around all the time like she's all happy and couldn't care less about anyone's problems (I was nineteen you fucking retard, why should I care about your shit? Also, what's wrong with being happy?) She hated the fact that I loved cooking, and would eat out all the time (I ate at the restaurant I worked at because I didn't want to hear you smacking your gross maw) And she'd make a big show of whenever she had to clean (BECAUSE YOU NEVER DID, FATTY). Some of my friends thought she was a real slut (I got a couple dicks over the course of six months...shoot me) but I thought that was fine, because it's her life (OOH, BIG SOCIAL JUSTICE POINTS FOR FATTY) Days 5-7 There really wasn't anything big here, just talked about the hospital routine. But once she got to go outside and she said the breeze felt good, so I pictured her standing there, all her fat folds rustling around, knocking the other patients down and giving them concussions. And that was it. No mention of the dishes or anything. This just proves she only went to the hospital because she was fucking up and didn't want to take the fall for her shortcomings, a philosophy she extends to all areas of her life.  But now, the beast is far and away.  And I will update you when it dies and all will be well. EDIT: the parantheses in the big paragraph about me are my own snarky interjections, not the beast's gross words.