Rant about a MiracleFat Hi FPH, I've been away for long time, mostly lurker before, but this week I realized I had to come back and get in some extra fat hate. I've recently encountered what I'm going to term a MiracleFat, as in it's a fucking miracle that it's alive at all. This thing is beyond morbidly obese, beyond deathfat... is there a such thing as zombie fat since I've been away? On Monday I walked to a two-week class in an unfamiliar town. I arrived only just in time (I took the scenic route). Therefore, I got the last seat available in the classroom, only reachable by squeezing by the MF. Given that the class is IT-related, there's a good probability that it used to be male, but its gender must have long ago collapsed under the weight of its own gravity. The fact that I could squeeze by and get to my seat is itself strange, as I surely passed through the event horizon of this fucking black hole. Fuck, maybe I got sucked through a wormhole and am now in an alternate universe. This thing spreads in its seat as if it were a trash bag filled with butter at about 30 degrees (celcius, duh!). The organ previously known as skin is a pitted, pale, greasy landscape. Its stench builds up during the course of the day, and I increasingly thank my lucky stars that there's a window next to me. I try my best to wait until it moves from its place to take a bathroom break or get some coffee, but when unavoidable I slide by and am sure to mention "no problem, I can get by" with a tone that seethes, "some of us need far less space than you, fucking lardbowl". I fail to grasp how someone can get this bad. Mostly fucking everyone is overweight (or worse) nowadays, but is there no limit to the depths of torture that such a miracle fat will heap upon itself?  Is there no point at which you look in the goddamned mirror and say, "my only priority in life is to subsist on water only until I vaguely resemble a human again"? How? How does someone get that far, then keep going and going? Hey, MiracleFat, if you somehow survived another day and are reading this: you have NO other life priorities. You DON'T need to take a class in anything other than nutrition. You don't need to be going anywhere except for long walks, preferably far away from other people. The ONLY fucking thing that needs to be on your mind is blocking anything caloric from entering your mouth for the next FUCKING YEAR.