A Fat Tax For Your Fat Ass I have a little cousin, I think she's seven next month and has quite the smart mouth. She plans to be the first woman president because "that's [Hilary Clinton] not a woman". Cute, little, skinny, blonde girl that can still fit in her clothes she got when she was 3 (very proud of her parents for that). Well, my aunt and uncle came down with her to my vacation city and they went out on a couples night last night, so it's me and Brianna. I turn on the news and try to find something besides the Orlando incident and found a city hall meeting for my city. I tuned out but she was cross legged in front of the TV. I start making something for us to eat and she comes bouncing into the kitchen and says "Soooooo what's a tax?" I said, "It's when people pay the government money for things. Like some money goes to the city, some goes to Washington. Some people smoke cigarettes, and those are bad, so they put a high tax on cigarettes so people won't buy them." "Is there a tax on junk food?" she askes "Well, no, not technic-" "WHAT? BUT. BUT. Junk food makes you die worse than smoking!" "Yes, this is true but no one has made bad food expensive or put a tax on them yet honey" I say trying to console her literal rage. "You know what? I like chips, I don't want to pay a lot for chips... and I'm not fat... What if we tax fat people for being fat?" "That's not a bad idea Bri. I hope you're president one day." "Yeah, me too."