Some days, I REALLY hate my mom Being the only human in the hamily, I just try to laugh off most of their antics. The bingeing. The non-stop snacking. The food hoarding (six bags of chips, really?) The midnight runs for ice cream. The shame eating. The complaints of how losing weight is so hard. But on days like today, I can't laugh. I can only hate. When my mom limps around and yelps and moans in pain because of all her various health problems - all either caused or exacerbated by her shitty lifestyle choices - I feel nothing but annoyance. When she looks at me on the verge of tears because she realizes she can barely walk, I want to tell her to put on her big girl panties and deal with it. There's no sympathy. No pity. Only contempt. Because she did this to herself. Everyday, I watch my family eat their way toward early graves. All obese. All sport CPAP machines as part of their nightly routines (save for me and my brother, though he's well on his way unless he can see the light). All like it's fucking normal.  None of this is normal. Eating until you're ill isn't normal. Being able-bodied and yet unable to walk isn't normal. Weighing over 300 lbs isn't goddamn fucking normal.  Everyday, I hate my mom's fat. I hate her weakness. I hate what she's done to herself. But some days, I can't help but hate her, too. And today is one of those days. I hate the obesogenic  household she raised us in. The reassurances that I, as a fucking 240-lb teenager, was just big-boned. That it was genetic. That I was beautiful. That eating that much food was normal. That midnight runs for sweets were an "adventure." That food equaled love. Now, at 130 lbs, I know better. But I still hate her for it. All those lost years. The still visible stretch marks on my body. The body image issues I fight with every day.  And then I watch my baby brother, pushing 300 lbs, going down the same road that she walked, and I hate her for that, too.  Food isn't love. Love is love. And for all you lurking hams out there, if you have children: I hate you, too, you goddamn selfish motherfuckers.