Just to show how lazy these fuckers are: A list of ways to lose weight that require almost no effort. (warning: long) First off the obvious 2 answers are 'eat less' and 'do more exercise' which I am assuming are off the table for my list, but I will make a point about the latter before I start. If you want to go to the gym to do cardio you have a lot of options, some will be better for you than others - I only really like the excercise bikes, but there are ellipticals, stair machines, treadmills, bikes, rowing machines etc - try them all, use the one that you find time passes quickest on. There are also options like pilates and yoga, though some fatties say they do these it's probably a very easy class, find one that pushes you to be better. Also, consider weight training, it doesn't burn as many calories as cardio but it can help you gain muscle mass, which in turn marginally increases your BMR and helps you lose weight, so long as you keep up the lifting to maintain the muscle. Some people enjoy this far more than cardio, so again - give it a try. Now for my list, and my last point there works nicely into the first item. This is an interesting one, there was a study done a while ago (link to an article on this and link to the study itself) That showerd that just imagining excersize can lead to muscle mass increase, so just thinking about doing some curls while watching tv, or situps while laying down with a cup of tea, will lead to you gaining muscle - albeit less than if you actually did the excersize. This didn't test whether it lead to an increase in calories burned during the imagination, but again muscle mass increases your BMR somewhat, so can help you burn off some calories. This one is a fairly simple one, it just means you have to take in more fluids, I would obviously recommend ones that contain no/small amounts of calories such as water and fruit teas. If you have to, diet soda is better than regular soda, but i won't vouch for it being 100% safe, it's all about dosage (but if all you want to do is lose weight, maybe making this change is easier). The thing to note is that these should also be EXTRA drinks, leading to you feeling more full and eating less (there was a study on this, though i cba to find it). Also specifically drinking a large drink before/with a meal will lead you to feel more full from it too. This also does your digestive system a favour and helps prevent constipation somewhat (no excuse to avoid fibre, i know the thought of brown bread petrifies you). This isn't asking you to act on anything, this is just to look at how many calories are in the foods you eat, and the foods you're thinking of buying. It may not make a difference but when you start to appreciate how calorie-dense certain foods are you might just start avoiding them, or at least not have them as often. This doesn't require calorie counting your whole day, this is for awareness, learn how large an african villiage you out-eat in one meal. Being cold causes your body to burn energy to keep you warm, if you do it over a sustained period of time (say, sleep with the window wide open during colder months) your body develops a tissue called brown fat, not only does this tissue not have any negative health effects (as opposed to yellow fat), it burns calories into heat energy faster than shivering muscle. This will increase your resistance to cold weather (possibly saving money on giant coats, i dunno - you have to buy everything in 6XL anyway) and burning a lot of calories in the process. Sleep with your windows open, don't put a jumper on just because it's a bit 'nippy' etc, even just turning down the thermostat. This one is fairly easy to do, and in the long run means you won't even feel said 'nippy'ness. (side note, this is 1 apple, do not eat 10 because you read this...) This isn't going to the gym, or for a run etc, This isn't taking time out of your day to work on yourself (like you do with makeup to cover up that face of lard). This is things like taking the stairs not the lift, or going to the second floor of the double decker bus. I do calf-lifts or wall-sits for 2 mins when i clean my teeth, there are always subtle ways you can add in movement without hindering your day (eventually you'll realize that your biggest hindrance is your weight). This ties in nicely with the imagination one, if you don't want to do this, imagine yourself doing it instead. Feel free to add more to this list, I'll be happy to add them in.