How my fat bitch of a mother-in-law tried to ruin our wedding day I'll preface this by saying I hate Mr. Ferret's mother, and she's always hated me for "stealing" her baaaaaaaaby. She's old, obese, narcissistic, and always has to be the victim. We haven't spoken to her in over a year (due to some unrelated events) but with our wedding anniversary approaching, I thought I'd tell you all about how she tried to ruin it for us. Our wedding was in the town where I grew up because that's where my church is (though I'm not overly religious) and the town is a very scenic, beautiful place, especially to have a wedding.  Mr. Ferret and I live about 45 minutes away from my hometown, and his parents live 2 hours away. I got the impression that Mr. Ferret's mom was upset that we chose to have it in my hometown instead of Mr. Ferrets, but she refused to help pay for anything or participate in any of the planning so too fucking bad. It was our day, and that's where we wanted it. Having to play the victim, a few months before the wedding the bitch started complaining to Mr. Ferret that I was being mean and excluding her from any of the wedding plans. Mr. Ferret knew full well that I had tried on several occasions to include his mom in planning and wedding events, and she kept turning me down. So to shut her up, we told her she could plan the rehearsal dinner (which is traditionally the responsibility of the parents of the groom anyways.) She bitched and complained about money, and instead said that my parents should host it. I flipped the fuck out because my parents had already done enough to help us plan and pay for the wedding, and all she did was complain and bitch about me to Mr. Ferret. Somehow he got his mom to agree to hosting the rehearsal dinner, but I had to do all the leg work and find a restaurant, make the reservation, select the menu, etc. Our rehearsal & dinner was on a Friday, and our wedding was the Saturday afternoon. Since most of us were coming from out of town, everyone met at my parents' house before the rehearsal at the church. My parents gracioualy served appetizers and refreshments for everyone. When it was time to go to the church for the rehearsal, Mr. Ferret's mother announced that she and his dad wouldn't be going to the rehearsal because "there's nothing for us to do there anyways." Mr. Ferret was embarassed and irritated, but he told them just to meet us at the restaurant afterwards. The rest of us went to the church, did our thing, and drove to the restaurant. As soon as we walked in, we heard screaming and wailing. It sounded like a dying animal. I turned the corner around the bar and there was Mr. Ferret's mother sitting on a chair carrying on and crying like a child. The manager and a bartender were hovering over her trying to offer her an ice pack. Apparently she had slipped on the floor, which I have no fucking clue how she could have because it was August and the floor wasn't wet or anything. As soon as she saw Mr. Ferret she started wailing louder. She made him practically carry her up the stairs where our table was, and spent the rest of the night making my soon-to-be-husband tend to her (despite her own husband being directly beside her). It was a power play, and she wanted me to know that Mr. Ferret still belonged to her. Mr. Ferret was pissed at the way his mother was overreacting, but neither of us said anything because we didn't want to ruin the night completely. The ceremony was held in a big, Catholic church. We had a unity candle ceremony at the beginning, where Mr. Ferret's mom and my mom had to light 2 candles representing Mr. Ferret and I. They had to walk up 4 or 5 steps to get to the altar. Mr. Ferret's mother held onto my mom's arm and limped the whole way up to the altar, whining, "ooh, ow, ow, ouch," the whole time. She had an entire church full of spectators, she couldn't pass up the opportunity to garner sympathy for her "injury". After lighting the candles, she turned to my mother and said, "I think I need to borrow your mother [meaning my grandmother's] wheelchair." My grandmother is in her 80's and had a total hip replacement not even 6 months before our wedding. So Mr. Ferret's mother was suggesting she needed to take my grandmother's wheelchair from her, because she slipped and fell the previous evening. This fucking obeast wanted to take a wheelchair away from a post-hip replacement octogenarian so that she could play the victim and garner sympathy from our wedding guests. My mom snapped at her, "don't ruin the day for the kids," and when Mr. Ferret's mother realized she wasn't getting any sympathy from my mom, she slinked back to her spot in the pew. Mr. Ferret's mom tried to play the victim for the rest of the evening. My sisters knew I was upset and were on damage control, so I didn't actually have to interact with the bitch very much. But here's the part where it gets fun: as soon as it was time for the mother-son dance, she was magically healed! It was as if Lord Beetus Himself reached down from the heavens and healed her foot, whispering, "I'll be back for you later." And the rest of the night, she was having fun and dancing with all her friends on the dance floor. In the end, all she did was make herself look like an asshole, but I still can't believe it. The fat bitch couldn't stand that I was the center of attention on my own wedding day, so she wanted to steal my grandmother's wheelchair so that people would ask her, "oh you poor thing, what happened???" and so she could steal the spotlight from Mr. Ferret & I. Fats really do have disgusting personalities.