Storytime: My eatbeast "ex boyfriend" (with pictures!) Hey guys, long time to chat! I thought it'd be cool to post the story of my eatbeast "ex boyfriend", which is in quotations because he claimed we used to be an item, when it was actually us just making out, him occasionally walking me home, and us ignoring eachother outside of those two activities, with him going long periods of time with so much as texting me. This was in like the 10th grade, and he was hot back then so me being the horny yaoi reading nerd I was went with it. Shit was cash for about 4 months, then he completely stopped talking to me so I moved on. Dated a few other guys, went off to community college and all that jazz. And then one day, through a mutual friend, he got in contact with me again. Said he was a changed man, atheism and all. Now, I knew he had packed on the pounds right around senior year, but the friend assured me he was attractive now, and that he lost weight and hits the gym daily. Good deal, right? So I talk back, the usual small talk and eventually he says that he wants to meet up with me. This totally means he's not fat anymore, and wants to show off how he's returned to hotness right? Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I didn't actually meet up with him, but we did have a Skype call, and boy was I shocked. This dude was huge, like, one of his arms was the same size as both of my thighs huge. A blimp, an obese helicopter, a curvy beautiful womyn. So, he talks to.me about how much he always loved me and all that shit while I stare at his stretch marks. He then asks of we'll ever be together and naturally I tell him no. He asks why, and I told him that "I just don't feel the same way about you anymore". He says okay, hold back the buttery tears and hangs up. I spend 10 minutes laughing at the ordeal and leave it alone. Eventually he texts me again, but is far more hostile. Obviously very,very butthurt. He tells me about how I was such a horrible person when we "dated", (pics attached) and about how i ruined his self esteem and shit. I guess he thought I'd feel bad for him and cave in or something I dunno. I still humor him a bit because his asshurt is delicious, and then I tell him he never changed and add his number to my spam numbers list. I'm guessing he called me a whore right after I added his number to spam numbers because I never got that message, but he sent a screenshot of the whole conversation to friend*, and she tells him that calling someone a whore through text message is slander and that he can get sued and go to jail over it. (lol) Oh, did I forget to mention that he was trying to get into friend's* pants too? Because he was. I'm assuming he tried talking to her after I rejected him, but who knows with fat people? She naturally said no, but not because he's a lardbarge, but because we "dated".  Anyway, tubby turner believes friend* and starts calling and texting me to "apologize". I answer the first time, tell him he's fine and I don't care and whatever, then say I'll call him back. (I didn't, I blocked him).  Rumor is you can still hear him REEEEEing. I wish I could show you guys better pictures, but I don't have Facebook, so you'll have to just deal with his (updated) skype icon. https://sli.mg/a/6wAUb0 hope I linked that right edit: * she's not really a friend at this point, but that's a story for another post. Also I apologize for any mistakes I may have made, I'm tired and tipsy