Mr. Rapp is similar to Gjoni in the sense that they both got involved in an abusive relationship, but unlike Gjoni he never broke free As a matter of fact, he allowed his abuser completely re-educate him, has involved himself with activities he was uncomfortable with and has on occasion expressed regret for things that he would never had to go through in a healthy relationship. Forgive the negative tone of this post, but this guy will probably make himself an hero during the course of this year, (ed: pressed send too early), and I want you to understand why. Among abusers, there are those whose whole pattern of behavior is reprogramming their target's behavior. They will play with language in a manner that prevents their target from defending themselves, they will force the target to concede the abuser right to do things that they are not comfortable with, framing a potential rejection of this abuse as weakness of distrust. Mr. Rapp's status as Ms. Rapp's husband is a mere formality. She can seek intimacy with literally anyone she wants at any given time. He is a completely replaceable part in the relationship, he isn't special. Or maybe he is, but not in the way anyone would want to. He is Allison's little project. She re-educates out of him any objection that he might have to her behavior, rather than finding a compromise that would satisfy both parties. She's also, step-by-step, deconstructing everything that made him once a typical heterosexual man. From harmless things such as crossdressing as a joke to pegging, engaging in public discussion about her escapades, and eventually talking him into becoming gigolo for, among other things, other men. This guy has very little left of himself pre-relationship, and defending the relationship may be the last thing he gets to do, because if it doesn't fall apart on his terms, he might finally break beyond repair. Familiarize yourself with the patterns of abuse, if you ever find yourself stuck with someone who's leaving you unhappy most of the time and you can't figure out why, search for a therapist. It won't ever get better if you stick around. Source: psychologists on the family, and psychologists that helped me out with my own shit.