Almost did that myself. I'm 38 and I'm only just understanding that now. It's not some creepy Freudian thing, it literally happens because you don't realise the way you've been raised to be as normal might not be normal. In my case my fucking psycho sister was violent and mum used to explain to me it's in my imagination and I need to grow up. So it got worse and I grew up thinking I was next to useless. It eventually broke and got to the point where I had changed my life around for everyone, mother sisters girlfriends and an ex fiance.... all who had very very similar traits... and then the patterns stood out.  It wasn't me at all. I was being dragged backwards and people wirh the same traits were what I felt was  normal.  That shit won't happen again. I'm in fucking charge and what's more, I'm a fucking success in what I now do.