Fighting open science with open science;
Peer-reviewed cat memes;https://nlesc.github.io/softwarehorrorgame/SoftwareHorrorGame.html
AI-generated research papers;https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-023-02218-z
A lab meeting interrupted by a surprise llama;https://howtocatchallama.com/
"A ""Publish First, Ask Questions Later"" approach";
Diederik Stapel;https://retractionwatch.com/2016/09/13/no-teaching-post-for-fraudster-diederik-stapel-after-all/#more-44194
The emeritus professor dying all over your lab results;
Your mom calling you by your ORCiD;https://info.orcid.org/researchers/
Confidently ignoring all inquiries of groups trying to replicate my research;
Being a failure in the eyes of everyone I care about because I am only the second author;
Getting exactly 0 citations for my replication study;
Waiting until my paper gets retracted because some rando finds a bug in my code.;https://twitter.com/lakens/status/1542018352968863745?s=20
Your data getting scooped before you can say open sci…;https://quantpalaeo.wordpress.com/2018/02/26/been-scooped-a-discussion-on-data-stewardship/
Having a little cry on the toilet;
Buggy research software collecting dust in a private repository until the heat death of the universe;https://blog.esciencecenter.nl/researchers-are-not-born-engineers-why-are-they-expected-to-know-how-to-code-1eeb5c3d03c0
Realizing that your research is unique, your data is unique and your greatness is the most unique of them all;
Making ALL your data public (with a short embargo of 50 years) ;
Selling our inventions to Frontiers in Hell;https://nlesc.github.io/softwarehorrorgame/SoftwareHorrorGame.html
Nobody in my field caring about it ;
My 30+ years of experience as a researcher;
The upcoming publication deadline ;
Sexy state secrets ;
An Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International license;https://creativecommons.org/choose/
Turning in your final version for the fourteenth time;
Good practice;
Financing the CEO of Elsevier’s fourth boat;https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/jun/27/profitable-business-scientific-publishing-bad-for-science
Teaching preteens how to build a nuclear bomb ;
Feeding the trolls with another paper they can cherry pick the s*** out of ;
The press reducing my nuanced findings to a flashy headline;https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/science-journalism
Asking 1800 euro to put a PDF online;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F9gzQz1Pms
Using fancy tools to make your research open, but keeping it all to yourself how you did it;
Spaghetti code and broken dreams;
Endless bug fixes;
git blame sessions.;
Code review therapy sessions;
Committing without testing;
An infinite `for` loop;
Copy-pasting all your respondents sensitive data into chatGPT to make a pretty boxplot ;
Being expected to never make mistakes in your research… ever! ;
Conveniently excluding some test subjects;https://www.mareonline.nl/en/news/psychologist-committed-fraud-in-15-articles-how-test-subjects-kept-disappearing/
Threatening your participants into providing useful data with violence;
Just science done wrong;
Well-cited studies with 50 failed replication attempts;https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8139580/
Citizen scientists breaking the only working printer;
Mugs of coffee at 3 am;
Making my research open and reproducible while my competitors are p-hacking their way into the big journals;https://embassy.science/wiki/Theme:6b584d4e-2c9d-4e27-b370-5fbdb983ab46
Impact factors;
Predatory journals;https://thinkchecksubmit.org/
Sacrificing the intern;
Flawless replication;
An USB-stick full of personal data ;
Leaving academics to become a beet farmer;
The effects of moon phases on stock market trends;
scriptA_001_final_new_after_feedback_actually_final2.R;https://r-bio.github.io/intro-git-rstudio/
Smashing things together until results fall out;
Coffee stained data management plans;
Post-its with ‘pls do not steal thx’ as a license;https://zenodo.org/record/2248200
The FAIRy spreading her FAIRy principles all over our data in the night;
Workload piling up and sanity breaking down;https://www.go-fair.org/fair-principles/r1-1-metadata-released-clear-accessible-data-usage-license/
Being an expert in your field AND data management AND ethics AND software development AND public engagement AND …;https://blog.esciencecenter.nl/researchers-are-not-born-engineers-why-are-they-expected-to-know-how-to-code-1eeb5c3d03c0