Oh, man, my forehead is so shiny.
What?
Is that hip?
Alright, sit like Edward.
Alright, let's go, you ready?
That's right, you're back here with us, Alan and Edward,
for the political fix, fix, fix. Well, we talk all politics.
All the time.
That's right, all politics.
All, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, politics.
All the freaking time.
That's right. There's a lot of politics going on always.
One of the biggest things is Osama bin Laden.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, Pakistan was unaware of his presence,
but for a number of years in the compound.
It's not snitches.
They're just not snitches.
You know, one thing about snitches,
you can't trust them.
You can't trust them.
You can't trust them.
That's one thing in the hood.
You can't trust snitches.
Oh, no.
I didn't learn about those in Catholic school.
Ah, you went to Catholic school.
I did.
Sheltered.
That's right.
If you're just joining us,
you're here with Alan and Edward at the political fix,
where we talk all politics, all the time.
That's right.
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
He's in a lot of heat right now.
He won't, he won't, he won't be back.
He won't be back.
That was a humor.
That was a tempted humor.
Did you see, but you know, that's a lot of messy stuff
he got into.
Oh, quite messy, I see.
In politics, you can't really get that messy.
But you know what can get really messy?
What?
Grass stains on jeans.
You can't get them out.
You see that in some jeans?
Oh, man, it's the worst.
Do you remember, like in elementary or middle school,
you'd go play basketball before school,
and you slid on an accident, and whole day was ruined?
Whole day.
How do you go to class?
Then you'd have to show your mom.
You can't do anything about grass stains on jeans.
No more Arizona jeans for you.
No Arizona.
Remember Gebo's?
Gebo's, I had some purple ones.
You had purple Gebo's?
And a gray and purple, like, sort of thing to go over.
I always wanted to wear the guest jeans,
but I was husky as they would say.
My grandmother shopped in the husky section.
You were big bones.
Very husky, so I didn't fit in guest jeans,
so I didn't really get to do that.
You've grown into your bones.
Thanks.
If you're just joining us, that's right.
You know where you're at, the political fix.
Alan and Edward's political fix.
When we talk politics all the time.
Politics.
That's the wonderful thing about living in America.
You have the right to free speech.
You can say what you want to say.
At any time.
And people don't realize, because of that,
that's why we have such a wonderful program.
I mean, like, Mori Povich.
Or us, of course.
That's right.
You can get away with saying things like teabagging and nothing.
I mean, what does that mean?
It's crazy.
Actually, that's kind of risky talk.
I'm surprised you took it there.
If you're just joining us, you're at the political fix
where Edward and Alan talk politics all the time.
All the time.
If you notice, we brought a stool today.
A stool.
Just to sit in between us so that we had anything to show you,
we could put it on here.
Right.
We don't really have anything to do.
We don't have anything to do.
But next time, if we have something.
We'll put it on there.
On there.
And you will see it.
Right now, I'm going to just get on it.
You're going to get on it.
I'm just going to get on it.
But if you get on it, you have to promise to talk about politics.
So go ahead.
Get up there.
All right.
Another thing going on in politics right now
is that the 2012 election is obviously a country.
I can see so far up here.
That's awesome.
It is dusty.
Who do you think is going to end up
being the Republican candidate, the true Republican candidate
to make it to the Iowa caucus and everything,
to make it to the whole dance in 2012?
My balls.
Your balls.
You being fine.
That's an attempt at humor.
If you're just joining us, you're
here at the Political Fix with Ellen and Edward,
where we talk politics all the time.
Nonstop politics.
You know what?
I had a great time talking politics with you today.
Next time we'll come back, we'll be talking
about the most important headlines in politics.
So you, the viewer, and the American citizen,
and even if you're watching far, far away in Afghanistan,
maybe on the internet, you can work out
to be a better person by being politically active
and being well-informed.
And who better to inform you on how you should think and act
than us, Edward and Ellen.
Edward and Albert rabbi.
Hit those political weights.
Hit them.
First amendment, second amendment, 14th amendment.
Do some judicial push-ups.
Get on it.
Awesome.
We thank you once again for joining us at the Political
Fix, where we talk all politics.
All the fucking time.
