I'm like Yoda. I don't have to be sexy. No one masturbates thinking of Yoda.
But they do respect his opinion as a Jedi.
Hello, my name is Gavin McInnes. I live in Brooklyn.
And I recently completed a very serious book called Street Boners.
1,764 hipster fashion jokes.
I would like to pretend that I just had a big book of famous people.
I had a people magazine and I just randomly chose them with post-it notes.
But I just chose every single famous person I could possibly get.
I met Debbie Harry once. I don't know her. She was totally out of left field.
But the rest of the people I met or I'm acquainted with.
And I just milked it and milked it.
I did start Street Carnage with my friend Derek Beckles.
I do these fashion things, little pant jokes things,
where we take a picture of someone and then talk about their attire.
And that's called Street Boners.
My friend Derek amalgamates hundreds of hours of bad TV
and those compilations are called TV Carnage.
You have to do fashion if you're doing a magazine, but we were punks.
And we didn't know about that.
So we would just do, we'd have, you know, I'd put our advertisers on one page
and say that's a do, get that out of the way.
And then I felt bad because that was like advertorial.
So I'd have people dressed ridiculous.
And the first one ever, I said, it's a nice shirt,
but it makes you look like you have penis tints.
It's sort of, some shirts can do that, even if your breasts are great.
I actually like droopers, but I remember she told me that,
this is Canadians too, she goes, when I saw that, I was mad.
And then her boyfriend calls me and he goes, I was upset.
And I'm like, yeah, that's, in Canada that's considered a big deal.
I don't think you know this, I was upset.
I don't care, that's the point.
It's called a razz, you know.
It's like Nelson from The Simpsons said to Bart,
if nobody's getting mad, are you really being bad?
Imagine a bunch of trailer park trash won the lottery.
That's Quebec.
And then we came to New York where it's a different but equally interesting story
where people are just, they all act like they're going to die.
I feel like New Yorkers are just here for a blip.
So the woman has nine-inch heist of lettos and face paint on at eight in the morning.
You know, they don't even do the walk of shame, they're proud.
And then they go out that day to an all-day club.
So that makes for some unique looks.
What is good style?
I mean, you should maybe smoke a joint and have a hot bath to think about it.
I have been trying to find that magical answer for 15 years now.
But basically, I think it's someone going out on a limb,
taking a risk, you know, being brave, respecting the classics,
and not, you know, wearing sketches, having chucks.
But maybe, you know, the chucks are yellow, which is wearing a dress.
You know, some sort of spin.
It's like music, you know, you've got to know what the rules are before you can break them.
So to me, I would give someone ten kitties if they were doing something that was well-respected
within the parameters of stylish, but zing!
They zinged it out at the last second with a scarf.
People ask me, what are the ten kitties? How do you rate that system?
It's a very magical, unscientific thing that just sort of happens out of the sky, you know.
They're great Chinese calligraphers. If they did a good character, they'd keep going,
and keep painting them until they collapse.
But if they did one bad one, they'd stop for three days.
So that's what I do with these fashion kitties.
I just sort of get in touch with the earth, the fashion earth,
and feel that energy come into my fingertips.
Then I retain the energy like one of the fantastic four.
Get on to a keyboard, make the joke.
It's as long as it's magic, and then when the glitter starts fading, you stand back.
Once you don't go potty in a toilet yet, you're still pooing your diapers,
but when you do eventually start sitting on a potty, this is going to be a blessing.
Because by the time you get to the end, you forgot the ones at the beginning.
So it's going to make your poo about ten times more pleasant.
Give me five. Give me five again today.
Give me five.
Give me five. Give me five.
