Well, hello faithful viewers, it's me, Mac the Victoria West!
And here I am, I'm still in lovely Sweden at the end of my fantastic journey, and here
I am at the docks, look at this, these docks here, these little boats and things, look
down there, let's go for a stroll shall we, let's go for a stroll, because this is where
I end my time in Sweden, I'm actually, I'm due to board one of these ships that we're
approaching, I'm going to sail away somewhere else, I don't know where I'm going to go,
where I'm going to end up, now I thought I'd had enough of my time on ships actually,
after my time in the North Atlantic, that was quite a trial, that the fun was had by
all, at least until the whale destroyed our ship, but anyway, I decided, you know, I've
got my sea legs back, and I have to be very careful with that awful, awful witch, Leslie
McGee on my trail, whenever I was going to come up, now she was, I thought for a moment
she was actually on my plane, I thought she had sabotaged the plane, or she maybe strapped
herself to the wing or something, but it was just that I was just being alarmed by the
noises on the plane, when I flew into Sweden, and yeah, I don't know where I'm going to
go next, look at the boats somewhere, hopefully somewhere it's a bit warmer, it is absolutely
freezing here, I have to say, it's freezing, I pour little hands, and as I told you before
I couldn't get my lipstick out of the tube, because it completely frozen, it completely
frozen in the tube, so yeah, but here I am down the loft, do you know, I think it's
been a long time since we actually stopped and talked about issues, I mean this is Max
who's got issues, and I haven't talked about issues, I want to talk about something very
serious, I want to talk about terrorism, and the harmful effects that I can have on a city,
and I'm struck by this because I've heard stories of other cities like London for example,
now London, I haven't been to London yet, but they told me that there's no rubbish
bins in anywhere, there's hardly any bins, because they're worried that terrorists are
going to put bombs into them, and of course in lovely Sweden no one is worried about
such things, and so there are bins everywhere, there's a proliferation, look there's one
there now, look, look, look see that bin there, we are down by the docks, as you can see,
look look, those lovely cranes over there, and some lovely boats here, look at this,
lovely little boats, we are down here, and there are no people, and yet there are bins,
I think that's marvellous don't you, let's go for a little stroll along here, look at
some lovely, lovely boats as we go along the way, and there's a really big ship coming
up here, look at that over there, do you see that big ship, I shall be boarding a ship
like that very very soon dear viewers, very soon, oh hercules, maybe that's a better one,
little tug for Maxi, don't worry I'm not going to go there, anyway, I think I was just
alarmed, a native there, look a little native, she got alarmed, my celebrity and her means,
oh gosh, oh my fingers are really cold, oh I can't wait to get onto that boat, I was
talking about terraces and bins, you can find bins everywhere, look there's another bin,
look, there's no one down here, and there are bins everywhere, I think it's marvellous,
it's brilliant, so there you go, less worrying about terraces, and it equals more bins, and
I think that's brilliant, it's wonderful, look there's a little map over here of the
docks, quick look, little look see, Pachuskagen or something, here we are, lovely, Valcoman
Teal Pachuskagen, well welcome indeed to Maxi Victoria West, oh they've never had so much
glamour here, little do they know, it's a shame that there aren't more people around
actually, I would be flocked, smothered, with people mobbing me, if only they knew, but
I've been keeping a low profile in Sweden, obviously I have to, because of that awful
Leslie McGee, I'm not too worried, I don't think she's followed me to Sweden, I don't
think she's on my trail, but you'll never know she could be anywhere, she could be
lurking, you know, she could be under the ice just over there, look, look at the ice
has formed around the boat, let's have a little look, you down there Leslie, hope she's not
under the ice, with a scuba, scuba gear snorkeling away, she could be anywhere, you can never
trust that woman, look at that, oh and there's my boat, it's my boat, yes it's just a bit
further down, well I'm going to go inside and get myself a hot toddy, warm the cockles
of my heart, I've loved it in Sweden, it's such a wonderful country, people are so friendly
and it's very expensive, but that's okay, I had a few drinks bought for me here and there,
foraged around and got some delightful food and things, so I can live very cheaply, you
know, my needs are, as I've said, my needs are, you know, they're few, very few, I could
do with a lipstick that was used to the cold though, I mean that might be something that
they wanted to develop in Sweden, if I had to say one, you know, bad word about Sweden,
it'll be the fact that my lipstick has been completely useless here and they need to find
maybe a little warming kind of tube, just to melt it, take the edge off a bit like margarine,
just to smear it across my lips, anyway, I'm at my boat, it's called the fladen, look,
the fladen will soon be laden with Maxi, so I can't believe I'm saying goodbye to Sweden,
but that's it, that's it for me and who knows where you'll find me next, I don't know where
I'm going next, but you can be sure of one thing my darling viewers, there will be glamour
and abundance, more products than you can shake a stick at and I'm gonna have to find
out about my little friend Billy, because my Dingo, my pet Dingo, do you remember him,
he must be in quarantine somewhere in back in London, he must be getting a bit, you know,
cage bound, I'm gonna have to say goodbye to, sorry say hello to him, send a little telegram,
telegram them, you'll know Maxi said you're a telegram, Billy, oh, anyway, there's my boat,
look at the prowl of my boat, so exciting, oh, running out of light, running out of power,
running out of time but never running out of love, for you, my darlings, take care my
my darlings, take care.
Nuh, nuh, nuh.
