She looks like Caitlyn Jenner from the neck-out.
For me and Caitlyn Jenner looks good, but...
Oh, why?
Dare to be here.
I had a dream about Sasha Baron Cohn.
I found him, Margo. I found him, thank God.
Imagine what John would say if you showed up home without his mother's ring.
No, I...
There's not a bit I'd...
Well, it didn't happen. Here.
Oh, my poor, my poor poor Helene.
I would never, I would, I would never do that to our family.
Of course not.
Nor would I do it to... I'm just...
I don't know what to do.
How foolish of me to have left them.
To get swept up in, in, in pampering and caring for oneself when something so important is left behind. I don't know.
Helene, look at me. Look at me.
John would want you to pamper yourself.
If you lost his rings, as long as you were taking care of yourself, you would be fine. You know I am right.
He loves you. He got the rings.
It's in the past, we're in the present.
I feel like I've had the best massage of my life.
Who was that young man?
Did you have that young man? Did you see the young man who gave me a massage?
I did. I saw him and you know what I thought? I hope that he does happy endings.
Did they do that for ladies?
Of course they did.
What?
They say that like a lady who knows.
I do know.
What do you mean?
I mean that if you go to the right person and you have the right recommendation, the last 25 to 35 minutes of your massage can be very pleasurable.
And I'm not saying that he's using his hands.
Margo, I'm dead serious. I know plenty of women who go all the way down to Chinatown just to get a massage because he's so good at eating pussy.
What?
I was going to be left to my own devices, but did you say eating? The P word?
Eating pussy. Well, I said to John when we first met, I said that magnetic smile is what just caught my eye, but if you don't eat pussy, I don't want to date you.
I said it!
You denied it!
No wonder he married you.
Because I was upfront.
You are a crystalline, beautiful, simple porcelain dream of a woman on the surface and you're a dirty skank inside.
Well, and I gave a blowjob better than anyone in the planet.
I do. I love it.
You love to give a blowjob.
I love it.
I hate oral on every level.
No!
I hate oral on every level.
I hate giving it. I hate receiving it.
I like stick it in me and let's get it over with because I know what to do once it's inside.
On the outside, oh please, I'm bored.
This is, I want, this is, I think mine is done.
How do you know when it's done?
I don't know.
It just, look at this thing.
But I will say that John eats pussy on my period too.
Oh my good grief.
That's all I knew.
Oh gosh, it's mine.
I knew it.
I said.
He did it before you were married.
He ate your pussy.
No, he doesn't still do it.
Of course he does!
He does not!
Yes, he does!
Why would I stay with him if he wasn't eating pussy?
In your period though.
Well, on occasion.
He must have gotten bored.
That's just a ploy to get you to marry him.
No, no.
He said he's your pussy when...
Well, not...
Listen to what you have to say.
I think your pussy sounds good coming out of your mouth, Marga.
Oh, thank you very much.
That being said though, I would not ever, I would, I will tell you this.
I don't think that Cooper has the faintest idea when I'm perioding.
Oh well.
That is something rather vulgar about me is that I just can't keep it in.
I have to talk about it.
I, you know...
I think you need more for a second.
I'm taking this.
Gosh darn it.
I hate mine.
I want it off and I never want to put it back on.
Here, Doc.
Yes.
That's way too much orange juice in there for me.
And frankly, I don't know why they thought it was okay to put the juice in in the first place.
The juice.
Did you see that show yet?
I haven't seen that show.
Which one?
The, about, oh no.
I was alive when that was happening.
I don't need to.
I was alive too.
Well, he did it.
I know he did it.
That's it.
And who cares?
Who cares?
Now, Gwen Stefani.
Oh.
Oh.
That's a huge pregnant belly.
Who?
Not Gwen, of course.
Of course not Gwen.
Oh now, Brie Larson did look good at the Oscars.
Oh, she was a dream.
It was a dream.
Now, again, Larson.
It's S-E-N, not S-S-E-N.
Or is it S-O-N?
I believe that it's S-E-N.
No, S-O-N.
S-O-N.
And here's what I'm thinking for the ball now.
Just hear me out.
I think that this green secret dress would be perfect for this.
I was, you know, I had my eye on that.
Have you?
Could you imagine?
We'll be on page six with no time.
The post will publish our photo without question.
If we both walk in, I'm strapless, you're a deep V.
I think we're both in sequence and in jewel tones.
And I would have that hairstyle because my hair has grown out a lot.
Absolutely.
Your hair color even.
It's true.
Now, who is that?
That's S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
Sorry.
I would not give you
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
I would not give you S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
S-O-I-R-S-E.
Say a Recipe.
So Recipe?
Hmm.
So Recipe?
This is so Recipe.
Say it.
Let the bass kind of kick it.
I'm not a bass kind of kick it.
I'm not a bass kind of kick it.
I'm not a bass kind of kick it.
I'm not a bass kind of kick it.
I'm not a bass kind of kick it.
I have to get my phone call and talk to Dr. Federline.
What?
I'm not.
I'm not.
It's so weird that we know these people better than I am.
This is when Kevin Federline, I know when I said family, I was like fucking God.
And I'm not saying that he's using his hands.
I'm saying he's using his mouth and tongue.
I know women.
Are you ready?
Get it on.
I know women who only go to one masseuse down in Chinatown because he is so fantastic.
No, I'm serious.
Margo, I'm dead serious.
I'm dead serious.
Down in Chinatown.
