Can I tell you all about it?
All about it.
All about me.
24 hours?
Ugh!
Wait that long.
I'm telling you, Kelz.
Just try to play it cool.
You might like it.
I'm a cucumber.
I wait an hour before I even look at this guy's text messages.
It drives him nuts.
Uh, yeah.
Let me see your phone.
What?
No.
You're a danger to yourself.
I just want to see what she's actually saying.
No worries.
I did not press send.
You've been drafting that text message for the last 20 minutes.
20 minutes?
Oh my god.
It is ready.
Full send in.
Oh no.
What?
Oh, girl.
What?
It's worse than I thought.
So I say, I'm hungry too.
It's Wednesday then, or we could do Thursday and then...
Wait, did you send this consecutively?
Yeah, but wait, she replied after the last one.
Okay.
No punctuation mark.
What the hell does that mean?
Mike, listen, this is very important.
If we want to stay current, the photo has to change.
It's the entire look of the site.
How do you not understand this?
Okay.
Okay, so what do you think it means?
Okay, okay, so okay, no punctuation?
I know.
Have you responded?
No.
Good girl, don't.
Mike, I've never met you in person,
but I can tell from your technical incompetences
you must be very good looking.
I sent you all the files.
I've marked which one is the most current.
Okay, no punctuation.
I gave her two options.
Wednesday, Thursday, okay?
Okay, Wednesday, okay, Thursday.
It's so annoying.
Totally annoying.
So then I was like, well, let's do Wednesday then, cool.
And she replied immediately within 15 minutes.
Capital seat.
Capital seat.
And still no punctuation.
Dude.
No, I mean she texts like a dude.
She's totally, totally into me.
Despite you telling me not to, she replied immediately.
Cool.
And?
I didn't freak her out.
That okay was okay.
I'm okay with seeing you either day
because you were so awesome and I can't wait to hang out with you.
Maybe she's playing it close to you.
It's so close to subtext.
You're not playing the URL.
Damn gasoline.
What happened?
The light is down and I have fans so far up my ass.
I thought that's where you lack them.
Just listen to this real quick.
Sorry, I've got to run.
But she's into you.
Yay.
How could you not be?
But you know, whatever.
No.
So I say, by the way, do you tweet?
Tweet.
Then I try to hold out for a while, but now I'm hooked.
Maybe unnecessary.
Then.
Keep going.
Hashtag I think you're tweet.
Cute, right?
What is this guy?
But then she replied.
Nope.
No tweeting for me.
No capitals, no punctuation.
It's disgusting.
Whoop.
Girls night.
Hey.
Hot date?
Yes, actually.
Very nice.
Anyway, keep this out of harm's way.
Don't get mad if you need that emergency call and I'm not there to do it.
On that note, have a good date.
Oh, remember, don't emasculate them until after the check.
Bye girls.
See ya.
Being site manager is a really challenging job.
I told you it would be before you took over Goslog.
I know, I know.
You were right.
Oh, they finally fixed his face.
We're back to Gosling perfection.
So, what'd I miss?
I think you're tweet.
I'm so clever sometimes. Cute, right?
I'm so afraid you're never coming back.
She's never gonna come back.
No one ever comes back.
What's going to happen when I can't move up anything?
Ice cream?
After Rowan left?
What happened?
Are you a gen?
Oh boy, how did you leave it?
Is it just me or do you have a slight aversion to meeting up?
I wouldn't wait for a response.
Thank God you...
$1.30.
You're back.
Not my proudest moment, Leroy.
Not at all.
Thank you.
Why that's too much?
Alright, we'll let you have your good deed for the day. Thank you.
Next time on Kelsey.
I'm making you a dating profile.
No, wait, I just need to be single. I'm good.
Why is everyone still Facebook friends with her?
I guess it is kind of weird.
I'm done for the night.
It's like you're not even depressed or something.
Somebody's got to stay positive.
Thanks for watching.
