Mate, I can't wait for Amsterdam to see my new club, ah!
It's going to be powerful on this bar crawl.
What bar crawl?
The bar crawl that I've organised us on.
The geezer, when you was in the coffee shop,
the little Dutch geezer came out and he said,
would you like to go on bar crawl?
I went, yes mate, sort me out.
You've got to be up early in the morning, it's our last night,
you haven't even started packing yet.
Who goes to Amsterdam to see a bunch of fucking museums?
We decided that I could choose what we do in the day.
No, you decided.
Come on, bruv, it's our last night
and we haven't even smoked anything yet.
You can do what you want, it's not on my schedule.
What? You're not coming?
I want to get an early night so we can avoid the queues
at the Anne Franks Museum tomorrow.
Fuck Anne Franks ass, I've had enough of that slut.
I'll go on my own, you can do what you want.
Ben, don't be so fucking boring.
I thought this would make you cooler,
but you've somehow made Amsterdam
into a fucking educational trip.
What do you mean, make me cooler?
You know, like, loosening you up a bit, you know,
where the happiness is legal.
Is that what you came here for?
No, to make me cooler.
What are you doing?
I'm going for a walk on my own.
Maybe I'll go to a sex show.
Huh? Is that cool?
Nah, that'll be fucking educational for you.
Fuck this ain't good.
You always fucking does this.
Everything I want to do is either too tired or too busy,
or I'll tell you what now, I've fucking had enough.
I can't be fucking bothered with it anymore.
Probably got to look for a museum that's still open.
Oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo-ooo-oo-ooo-oo-ooo-y.
You want to come in?
I'm just looking.
Fifty hours on the table.
Goodness, it's time.
Is that your first time?
What? No, no, no.
In Amsterdam.
Oh, yeah, I'm here for business.
Oh, really?
Yeah, it's...
Business.
It's at disposal.
Yeah, at disposal.
So we have to get rid of quite a large load.
Oh, yeah, let me help you.
What's wrong?
Nothing, I'm just a bit tired and stressed.
What's your name?
Ben.
Hi, Ben.
Hi.
I'm Tallulah.
Hi.
It's a nice name.
Thank you.
So, Ben, why are you stressed?
I didn't argument with my brother.
Oh, brothers.
Yeah.
Where is brother?
Bob.
Bob.
He needed a place to stay and we had a spare bed, so...
But then...
My brother's getting rid of him now.
So, why you have argue with brother?
Because he thinks I'm boring.
Do you think you're boring?
No, I mean...
I don't think so, I don't...
I don't know.
I don't think you're boring.
I have idea.
I'll take you somewhere cool to smoke, huh?
I did everything in his fucking schedule.
Well, yeah, he's paying for me, but I don't have a job and he does,
so he should be paying for me, right?
I mean, that's just sharing.
Sharing is caring, Bob.
Am I right?
I know I'm right.
I like you, Bob.
Listen...
I'm like Ben.
And he always forgets his fucking key.
Why you here a sec?
You been here?
English?
Where's my son?
Where's Alex?
Alex? I don't know any Alex.
He told me he was staying here with two English boys, so where is he?
No, it's only me here, so you must have the wrong hotel or something.
Why are there three beds, then?
It's a coincidence.
No, I know he's here.
Alex!
There's no one else here.
Let's watch that.
I'll go and try, try it.
He's here.
But wait a minute.
I'll go and talk to him.
Tell him you're worried and bring him out to you, alright?
One minute.
Alright.
Two minutes.
You alright, Bob?
Fuck!
What can I get you?
I think I must have left mine at home.
We'll just have two regular's, please.
Two regular what?
Two regular's smokes.
Two smoke, you know.
Two red light drinks, please.
Okay, fine.
He's in the bathroom.
Alex, are you alright?
I'm coming in, okay?
He chimed out of the window.
That's again!
That was close.
When you get you out of here and then everything will be sweet.
It's gonna be fine.
Don't worry.
You're looking nervous.
Don't look nervous.
I should be nervous.
Talk me to a dead guy.
You know, I tell you something.
This one time, I signed up to strip club.
It was randomly and it was so immature.
It's not a bit of a rush.
You got a rash.
No, it's a rush.
Okay.
Hello?
Dan?
Where are you?
Yes.
Uh, greenhouse effect.
What's that, like a science museum or something?
No, it's here.
Wherever it is, you've got to get back here quick now.
We need to get Bob out of here.
He's...
He's gone stiff.
He's gone stiff.
Okay.
Wait.
I'll call you back in a second.
No, no, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben.
Oh, he's gone stiff.
Steve.
Yeah.
Steve.
No.
Look, I can't sleep.
Oh?
You're sleeping down there, are you?
Yeah, you work them glasses.
Yeah, mate.
I'm so sorry.
He didn't jump out the window.
He's here.
But he's...
He's dead.
I should have done something.
I shouldn't have lied. I'm sorry.
Dan?
Open the door. I forgot my keys.
Hey, man.
What was all that about?
You all right?
No, yeah, I'm fine. I just thought you were someone else.
What's wrong with your eyes?
Who else would it be?
Have you been crying?
No, you've been crying.
No, I haven't.
You? You smell like weed.
Are you stoned?
No.
Yes, you are.
What...
What did you do that, bro?
You know what I wanted to do that?
Oh, no, I don't know.
It just happened, I don't know.
What have you been up to?
I see Bob's moved.
Well, yeah, I was trying to pick him up and move him,
but he's gone all stiff.
Oh, and his mum was here.
What?
Yeah.
And his name's not even Bob.
What?
I know.
He lied.
He would do that.
That's so Bob.
Fuck his mum!
We need to get him out of here.
Quick before she comes back.
Come on.
Right, I know.
Yes, quick, grab his head.
Ben, you're not doing anything!
Mmm.
Come on, man, we need to be quicker.
I'm dying.
No, come on, she's gonna fucking see us.
Right, when we get to the bottom,
we need to order a cab or something, all right?
What?
Oh, fuck.
No, that won't work.
I'm hungry.
Can we order pizza?
No, we're not ordering fucking food.
What?
No!
Wait, I've got to do it.
Hallelujah.
New Bristol, Lula.
Hey, guys.
Oh.
Hey.
So, uh, this is, uh, Dan.
What's happening?
And, uh, this is...
Some people just call Dan the lamster, Dan.
What, you think I haven't seen a dead guy before?
Let me get my bike.
Right, do I have to ride a bike?
I haven't cycled in ages.
It's easy.
It's just like riding a bike.
Oh, fucking hell, no!
That's Bob's mom.
That's his mom.
What is he gonna do?
We can explain, wait, please.
What?
We can explain what?
What's happened?
What's going on here?
None of this was our fault.
What you see here was not our fault.
And if it was, it was just completely innocent.
I swear, none of it was our fault.
It was.
It was our fault.
Should we kill her?
That is not my son.
It's not?
No.
Then it is Bob.
He didn't lie.
It's our Bob.
What's wrong with you?
Where is my son?
Oh, you're wasting my time.
You're wasting my time.
You're wasting my time.
You're wasting my time.
You're wasting my time.
Ah!
Ah!
Shoot!
He's pretty stiff.
Should one of us say something?
Should one of us say something?
No, I don't think so.
We didn't really know him that well.
I'd like to sing a song.
Despite everything you did
and all the things you said
I'll always remember you as dead Bob.
Despite everywhere you went
and all the things you see
I'll always remember you as dead Bob.
I'm sorry I lost your phone
and that you died
and that we dropped you on the stairs Bob.
Despite everything you did
and all the things you said
I'll always remember you as dead Bob.
That was a great song, Dan.
Cheers.
All righty.
Let's go.
So, what are we doing today?
We're going home.
But we'll see the Anne Frank house first, right?
Nope. No Anne Frank unless you want to see Anne Frank.
Nah.
I thought that's love.
No.
No.
No.
No Anne Frank unless you want to see Anne Frank.
Nah. I thought that's love.
