I was trying so hard to get rid of him and every time I looked into his eyes I just felt
myself being drawn in and he's younger than I am and I was really worried about telling my mom
that again I'd fallen for someone in their mid 20s what's wrong with me I need someone my own age
so I was sort of trying to get rid of him but he wouldn't take no for an answer
and every time I looked at him I was just it was alarming how much I was being drawn to him
like there was something more as if I can quote him that very same day yes I can feel the chemical
that was a Wednesday night he still doesn't know that it's chemistry
it was chemical it was chemical yeah
we started living together like two months after for a little bit but then I have to go back
to my country to deal with my paperwork and I applied for H1B1 and then I came back
and immediately after literally like a year after it took us a process like a year 10 months
10 months a year and then from then we started living together which is the end of 2002
I mean we basically he came back and it was sort of a necessity he didn't have a place to stay so
we sort of said well temporarily you can move in with me and let me find a place
and it was like clear within a day or two that nobody was going anywhere
H1B1 expired in 2005 I couldn't renew I was working amazingly in a
in a company that produces skincare products and I couldn't renew for three more years my H1B1
visa because part of the reason I almost at the end of it I came out to my parents and
I had to go deal with them something like I love them it's not the end of the war
and then kind of like the company got besides you know
non-understanding they also got no management and they kind of like fire a lot of people
so I couldn't find some other way to sponsor me to extend my H1B1 visa which is 2005 and
September 2005 was expired I mean initially it was about him being here and not there when
when it expired so as long as he was on this side of the border and with me it was fine but
it was tough it was tough at the beginning there are issues driver license issues identification
issues work issues there's a huge sacrifice I mean you can't go home to his parents and visit
I mean it's been how many years eight years the last time 2005 pretty much at the end of my
my visa which was now 2013 so I lived I haven't been there for eight years but I see them
sometimes but they're also not in the best health either yeah I live in fear that you know one of
them is going to be very ill or injured or worse and he's going to be trapped here you know with
the horrible decision like a dilemma do I go down there and never come back I mean I see them
every two years they come visit to Florida for vacation but I don't really see them all sometimes
it's my dad sometimes it's my mom but I missed it you know it's it's hard but I I have my my husband
now that encouraged me and give me good good thoughts and motivation to work forward and
you know get over it I kind of knew it all along I mean there they're initially there's no marriage
I mean then gay marriage starts to or domestic unions start happening and
you know you start to realize there's a change happening and there's possibilities but
I knew that the federal government wasn't recognizing anything
and to me that was criminal I mean that was wrong I mean in our ceremony the
deficient John Brown Reverend John Brown built in just a statement which I felt was important
which is that love is a miracle and you know when love really happens everything should
be done to preserve it and to enable it and here they were making it impossible for us to stay
together and be here um on some level I mean so there's no pinpointing a moment when it became
obvious I mean it just was there when there's a moment when we suddenly realize there's a possibility
that one day soon sooner than we ever thought you could actually get married and sponsor and have
have you know the love of your life the the ability to live with the love of your life
for the rest of your life and not be afraid anymore I've moved from the first time I ever
heard of gay marriage I thought how silly I mean it didn't make any sense to me
um it seemed like a crazy fight and and that was before I met this one you know and I said this
before I mean I didn't see any need for marriage and then it just seemed everything about us seemed
right and it just seemed like something that you wanted to do you wanted to say it you wanted to
be forever bonded together and he has a special circumstance there's no question that I want to
be able to give him the ability to be an American just like me to live with freedom and to work and
grow and and be everything that he can possibly be so I mean remember I mean if there's an epiphany
it's the moment that that Obama spoke the words in the ramp up to his campaign and I thought he's
either expecting to lose and wants to be the first president to say something about it or he really
wants us us to vote for him and he really is going to do something so and that was the moment
when he got reelected literally when CNN was they have a new projection who is the new president
the reelected president Barack Obama he jumped out of nowhere that was November 6 I remember
2012 it's like please please would you marry me would you marry me please please please it's like
literally in tears and that was the moment I said yes of course that's before we all
talked about DOMA striking down that was the moment of reelection I'm talking about like
seven months ago eight months ago and this is has been so blessing that this year have all the
benefit for the for the defend of active marriage and it's going to help us to go forward during
the darker parts I thought maybe what we needed to do was move and Venezuela to me wasn't an option
and Canada was the most logical you know Toronto is a good place and I thought we should I just
said to him at one point we should start researching it as a possibility he's been
Israel and the idea of it being any colder than it already is so but yeah we were kind of getting to a
place where I was getting more and more fearful because everybody gets older and parents I mean
these thoughts were happening while my mom my own mother was ill and dying and I was really worried
about what would happen when the inevitable happens on his side of the family so
well it was simple we had planned you know for convenience and my own memory's sake
to combine anniversaries we met literally just before gay pride in 2002 and so the 19th of June
so when when I proposed I basically picked the date at first I thought well you know the 19th
but that's a Wednesday this year so we talked about the day the day he proposed yeah this year
like it's gonna be a few days after the this Saturday this the Saturday closest to and after
the anniversary so and that's why and it's also in line exactly six months after my birthday I
like the 22 it works for me because when 22 that's my birthday that evenly spaces the gift giving I
think and it keeps one anniversary together so next year it'll be 12 slash one anniversary
my god it's like we still home we were still at home in the morning and
because it's announced a little like a 10 again 10 or 2 push notification
and then seeing him was gone a little late I was getting dressed getting dressed and I was downstairs
and he got it first but push notification keep yelling and went downstairs and like crying for
for real average I cannot reveal this picture it's super embarrassing but both of us cry like
a boy like a little boy but yeah we're super happy it's like it's like a god giving a gift to us and to
the to the gay war to the american gay to everybody to everybody not just the gay world
you know not everybody agree with this but they're not special rights but they're not special rights
everybody's rights everybody it's a human being right so we all deserve it benefit
there's tremendous relief involved in this because I wasn't really worried because I'm pretty sure
New Jersey honors gay marriages from others just like New York honored them from other states
before they actually passed law that that allowed them to be performed in their state
but it's heartening to see that it doesn't matter whether you're actually living in one of those
states as long as you got married in one of those states which just secures the fact the federal
government means business and and that is reassuring and heartening because there are a lot of people
you know in a lot of places I mean places I would never live by the way I'm like yo get out
of there but those people who will now at least have the federal government basically reassuring
them that their their marriages are real even if the state won't recognize them
