Did you know that when your dad was very, very young, his family were so very, very
poor that your dad had to go away and work in a circus?
And your dad's best friend in the circus was another young clown called Charlotte who
taught your dad how to throw custard pies and how to pull chairs out from
underneath people whenever they were about to sit down. And apart from the
misunderstanding regarding the rope trick, your dad really enjoyed working in the
circus. There was the blind boxer whose fights never lasted longer than the
first round, the polevolta who could only vault using a ladder, and the swimmer who
could only swim in a bucket. Actually even the Queen came to see your dad's
circus. And if her majesty got a bit bored she would always shout out, I am
not amused! And straight away her favorite corgi would
piddle over everybody to get the Queen laughing again. And if you thought circus
people sounded strange then wait till I tell you about the kind of people your
dad worked with in the theatre. There were giants who preferred taking tea to
breaking bones and watching ballroom dancing to hearing children's moans.
There were pirates who were always looking at maps and very bold knights that
looked very like taps. And there were cats so big they thought people were
mice and they would snap off your head and never think twice. And crocodiles who
wondered it would give you a ride and the next they were chewing and you were
inside. There were people and sheep that glowed in the dark and daffodils who
would chase you out of the park. There were rubber job boy scouts who thought it
was fun to steal all your pennies in a fast hit and run. There were babies and
reindeer and things coming out of drains and Daleks and wizards and strange men
flying planes. Some things would make you shout and scream like when you can't
wake from a very bad dream. Some had blood on their golden locks, others stabbed
you with needles or lived in the box. Some played with scissors, others stared
crows and some were kind and some came to blows. Some plays were good and some
plays were shaped and some plays were arty and all black and white. This chicken
chose to not lay an egg. This man a life of crime but whatever part your dad
chose he had an excellent time. This is your dad trying to get a very lazy
streaksweeper to get back to work and here he is with the evil wizard Prang.
This is him catching a chicken for his lunch and this is him being fed to a
crocodile for being far too greedy. Actually it was around this time that
your dad fell madly in love with his co-star, Daydream Daisy.
Why do you whisper green grass? Why tell the trees what ain't so?
Whispering grass the trees don't have to know.
And if you're wondering about what else happened back in those long ago days
well because the town your dad lived in did not have many places for children
to play. Me and my friends decided to make some.
And if you're wondering about what happened to your dad's older brother
Simon well he is still wearing striped pajamas and working on a chain gang
near you. And finally if you are wondering about what happened to your dad's
sister Jo, well we never heard from her again after this bad man took her home
to play to her in a pie. Only kidding or am I?
Say nighty night and kiss me. Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me.
