Michael Brown talks about the seven year process of imprinting so that pretty much everything
is set as a human being within those first seven years. It's been foretold how you're
going to feel really because how you felt within those seven years with your mother
and father as Grisolda, hiding, not being able to be emotional, be out there, be seen.
Now look what you're doing. You're going out there. You're in front of the camera
now and then you're going out there to give other people a witness. So is there a reason
for your life? Of course. There's a reason for everything. I really do believe there's
a reason for everything. And for me, when I was 21, which is another part of the seven
year cycle, I kind of rebelled and got into a lot of music and dancing and a whole lot
of, you know, because I was in a freeze. The music and the dancing helped me to start loosening
up and defrosting if you like. And when I was 17, I remember the moment where somebody
played me this heavy metal music, you know, and now I probably think it was, you know,
not very attractive. But at the time, I loved it. I loved it. There was something about
it that just drew me and I just got totally into this whole scene, you know, biker, leather
jackets, you know, lots of music. That was about a four or five year period when I just
totally got absorbed into this. And looking back on it now, I can understand what happened.
There was so much anger within me and I wanted to express it. I want to find a way of expressing
it. And, you know, Peter Levine talks about waking the tiger, you know, that when we've
been in a freeze, I can animal has been in a severe fight or flight situation. It's actually
gone into a freeze. To come out of it, you have to go back into the sympathetic nervous
system, back into the fight to actually release that before you can come back into the normal
state of the nervous system. And I do believe that I need to get back into the, you know,
to awaken my tiger, to awaken that. And did it work? Well, yes, actually, to a point.
I mean, you know, you've heard of headbanging, where you literally bang your head for hours.
I mean, I know, well, exactly. But at the time, it felt completely right for me to do
it. And the fact that was like hundreds of other people doing the same thing was like,
this is you show us now how it works, how you bang your head. I haven't done it for
years. But it's something like this. And what's it doing for you right now? Well, it
does help to release this part of the neck. Wow, that's fascinating. You know, and I
do see that that was a process. And so after a couple of years, the really heavy rock music
started to appeal to me less than I started to get into other types of music. But also
I was taking a lot of different drugs. And I was basically involved in a sort of, what
you might call an alternative sort of scene, you know, kind of. So you're not too premium
proper than after all. Do I look premium proper? Not now. No, I'm a bit frightened. But no,
well, no, but it was interesting because I spoke to your father when he visited for
Christmas. And he said, I said, what's your view of Julie? And he said, she's always the
same. She's always just smiling and happy. So you weren't really what your father thought
you were? No, I think he's got a short memory. Because I certainly wasn't like that as a
child. He probably forgot that. Do you think you became that after the head bang? Well,
it was a process that took place really, and it's not short. But certainly that was an
expression. But then the next phase was that when I was 21, my boyfriend and I had these
massive rouls for a few weeks. And then he literally threw me out of the house on, it
was like a cold, you know, December night. And he literally said, don't come back. So
what did you do wrong? Why did he throw you out on the street like that? You know, I was
angry and he was angry. You must have been terrified. I was. And I didn't understand
because I would tell somebody, oh, you know, stop the boyfriend. They were like, oh, you'll
get over it. You'll be fine. But what I didn't realize it was triggering all the emotions
from childhood. And I was feeling like immense devastation. And it was like a death really.
You know, I felt a lot of pain. But now I understand that what I thought was like an
emotional breakdown was a breakthrough. As Dr. George Alass says, it was a way of going
through those emotions and finding something like an amazing dual.
