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Are you Madeleine Owens?
Yes.
My name's Senior Sergeant Lionel Watson.
I understand your husband's been missing for over three weeks now.
I don't know what happened to him.
Madeleine, I assure you that we'll do everything in our power to help you find your husband.
I know this must be an extremely difficult time for you, but I do need to ask you a couple
of questions to help develop a case about your husband.
Would you mind if we did that now?
Yes, of course.
I'd like to take a formal statement.
Would you follow me through to the interview room, please?
How you doing, man, just sit here, please.
Just take a seat over there.
So your husband's full name is Martin Rownowens, is that correct, Madeleine?
Yes.
Okay.
And what does Martin do?
He's a car salesman.
Okay, nice.
Madeleine, was your husband acting strangely at all up to his disappearance, was he, say,
hanging out with any new people, doing anything strange?
No.
No, he was completely normal.
Senior Sergeant Watson, my husband was a straight and honest man.
He has never done anything wrong in his life.
The only bad thing he could have ever done was J-Walk or something harmless like that.
Wait, your husband's a J-Walker?
Man, Inspector Mark McCoy's going to want to hear about this.
Mark, yeah, we've got a J-Walker in Room 6.
You have got to be fucking joking.
I'm a fucking J-Walker.
Honestly, where do these guys get off?
I'm over the other side of town.
We'll get there as soon as I can.
Okay.
Right, where is this J-Walker prick?
Mark.
What are you doing there, mate?
Oh, I've just been on traffic duty.
Oh, right, okay, it makes sense.
So it's Madeleine's husband here.
Let's show a bit of respect because he's currently missing.
He'd want to stay missing too, the bastard.
Because if I get my hands on the J-Walker, there'll be blood.
Excuse me, how dare you speak about my husband like that?
You see, she's protecting him too, eh?
You are treating my husband like a criminal when he has done nothing wrong.
Now, this is rubbish. I'm getting Chief Inspector Hank in here.
Yeah, Hank?
Yeah, you've got to get into Room 1.
Be quick, smart, mate.
We've got a scandal on our hands in here.
No problem, we'll be there soon.
Okay, I'm here.
Morning, gentlemen, how are you doing?
You guys mind if I have a snack?
I haven't had lunch yet.
It's not what I am, though, Hank.
All right.
So what's going on here?
You tell him, I'm too mad to speak at a moment.
Well, I was asking...
Come in.
Oh, for Christ's sake.
Hey, Hank, did you want a muffin, mate?
Nick from Personnel is having muffins for his birthday and he has some spare.
Oh, that would be lovely. Thank you.
Did anyone else want anything?
No, thank you.
You just hit me in the face with a door you're done.
Oh, sorry, mate.
Just...
Sorry about that.
Carry on one.
Okay, so...
Sorry to interrupt again, guys.
Hey, Hank, Joe reckons he won't be able to make it in to eat his lunch again today.
You want to know if anyone wants before it goes off?
Oh, that would be lovely. Thank you so much.
Did anyone want anything?
No, thank you.
Look, are you dense or something, mate?
We're trying to conduct a bloody interview.
Sorry, mate.
Just...
Hey, what happened to your nose?
Get out of here!
Fucking degenerate!
So you were saying, Lionel?
I was asking Madeline about her missing husband.
And then I found out he was a J-wolf.
Yeah, bloody filthy fuck.
I'd string him all up if it was up to me.
Well, lucky it isn't.
So what does your husband do?
He is a car salesman.
Not really relevant.
Car salesman.
Just out of curiosity.
I'm currently looking for a new car myself.
And it's your husband's company, a place where I can get a cheap and valuable new car.
Look, Hank, this isn't the right time to be talking about cars, though, is it?
Her husband is...
And a bloody dirty rotten spineless, weak-gattered, spineless bastard with no morals or ethics
and a rather weak spines, would I reckon?
Well, all I'm saying is that I may look a little bit deeper
and I can get something very good of it, like a cheap and valuable new car.
That wouldn't buy anything of that low-life cripple.
Guys, can we please keep on?
Ugh.
Just come in.
Just come in, dickhead.
Ugh.
Sorry, ladies and gentlemen.
Hank, the chief inspector wanted to know if you'd like some food left over from the police carnival.
Absolutely, that would be fantastic.
Thank you so much.
What are you doing?
You hit me in the head three times, you idiot.
Who's hitting you in the head?
You, dickhead, you!
You fucked an ant or something.
Excuse me, Lionel.
Jack, just spoke to the wife of the J-Walking suspect
and she told me that we can get a cheap and valuable car for work.
Yeah, well, you better get in quicker because if I get me hands on him,
I'm gonna punch that dirty rotten scumbag J-Walk and bastard knows his right in.
And that's for you, Mark.
I've had enough to hear with your bad cop bullshit routine.
You want to know how I got to work this morning?
I hate J-Walk.
Oh, J-Walk the whole fucking way.
Yeah, you know what, Lionel?
You're gonna regret that.
I'll fucking end you.
Let's take this outside.
So what are you thinking, uh, sedan SUV V6 or V8 possibly?
I have to think about it, but I'd say 2007 Focus.
Something with a mid-range spoiler on the back.
Yes.
Something with fantastic size boot for the weekly grocery shopping of mine.
Must be big.
And, uh, just for a bit of style, I'd say.
I'd say those pink, those pink fluffy dice.
So, uh, what are you thinking, turbocharged direct injection?
Of course.
Do I look boring to you?
Not at all.
So it will be a fantastic car.
It will be a beautiful car.
All right, Lionel, it's on.
You know, this week, I already worked two drunks, a draco, my wife Denise,
the neighbor's budgie Dale, and a grandma named Pearl.
So I've got no confunction ending you.
Should we?
Oh, do you want one of the wings?
No.
Oh, okay.
More for me then.
Hey, how's it going?
So, uh, your husband's missing, hey?
Yes.
Oh, that's a shame because, you know, if we don't find him in 48 hours, we're probably going to find a body.
Hey, no, it's okay.
Husbands attend to a penny.
So how long do you reckon it'll take you to get over him?
I don't think I'll ever get over him.
What, never?
Hank, I've added up to you with Nikoi, all right?
He was just in the fire stabbing a guy with a fucking fork.
A fork?
Not one of my good dessert forks, was it?
No.
I just think we need to come down, Nikoi, all right?
He's got a bit of...
Are you all right?
Sorry.
Look, I just think we need to crunch down on...
Sorry, that one was an accident.
I just think we need to crunch down on Nikoi, all right?
Would you have a cheat on your husband?
No, never.
Hello?
Oh, Superintendent Briggs, how can I help?
He's not even with a police inspector who's earning over 100K a year
and owns his own house.
You shot a guy?
What'd you do that for?
So say you were put into a situation where you had to sleep with another guy, would you?
He sold you a shit car.
No, I would never.
What was his name?
Martin?
Yeah, no, don't know the guy.
What do you do with the body?
Okay, that actually sounds quite graphic.
Are you saying my husband got shot?
No, no, no, that's why I'm not busy at the moment.
I'm just with some windy bitch.
She lost her husband or something.
I can't believe you!
Well, why don't we meet up for lunch, okay?
Nothing calms me down more than a smorgasbord meal from Sizzlers.
Jesus.
That's another thing I've got to do today.
Look, Chief Inspector, do you think you can find...
Chicken?
No, I don't want a chicken.
I want to find...
People think the police don't work hard.
