Good evening, sir. My name is Chester, and I'm with the Fraud Division of your credit
card company. How are you today? I'm fine. How are you? Well, I'm fine. Thank you for
asking. Sir, we've noticed some suspicious activity on your account, and I'd like to
go over some of the purchases just to verify that they're yours. Do you have
some time? Yeah. You do? Okay. Let's start with the first suspicious purchase. Six
thousand rounds of ammunition. Yeah. Oh, you did? You did purchase those? Yeah. Okay, check. The next
suspicious purchase is four assault rifles. Yeah. Oh, oh, you'll purchase those too? Okay. The next
purchase? Two bulletproof vests. Yeah. Oh, you purchased those too? Okay. Six hunting
knives? Yeah. Check. Two ski masks? Yeah. Check. Two slow cookers? I need to ask my wife. Oh,
you need to ask your wife? Yeah. Sure, I can wait. Oh, she did. She did purchase the
slow cookers. Yeah. Okay. One thousand nails, one barrel of fertilizer, 10 pounds of
TATP, two canisters of propane, two clocks, six automobile batteries, two one-way tickets
to Syria. First class. Check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check. Okay. Well,
sir, I just have one more purchase to discuss with you, and that is makeup and
perfume from Pretty as a Picture boutique. No, I did not purchase that. No. No, you didn't
purchase that? No. Well, perhaps your wife. Oh, it's considered sin. Okay. Well, I'll just
take that right off your account. Sir, on behalf of your credit card company, I want to
thank you for your time, and I'd like to offer you and your wife free life insurance for
the next year. Each policy is worth five million dollars, and the beneficiary can be any individual
or institution of your choosing. Yes, I'll take it. Oh, you'll take it. No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no. And your wife too. Okay. Well, I'll just transfer you to our insurance
consultant and thank you again for your time. Bye-bye. Good evening, madam. My name is Chester,
and I'm with the Prime Division of your credit card company. How are you today?
