You
Yeah, you're never gonna believe this
My car just broke down
I'm on my way to catch a flight. It leaves in an hour my car broke down
I don't know what's wrong with the car if I knew what was wrong with the car
I'd be more informed, but I'd still be screwed, right?
Can't catch a cab I'm in a red zone
I can't leave the car. It's in a red zone. They're gonna tow the car if I leave it here
I can't have my tow card for two weeks. I'm gonna be gone for two weeks. I can't have it towed for two weeks
You were gonna leave it in a parking lot for two weeks, weren't you?
Can't catch a cab, leave the car, make your flight, don't tow
Don't... Hello?
You
Hi
My car just broke down outside. My phone's out of juice. I need a phone and a phone book. Do you have one?
A phone book?
Yeah, I need to call a cab
All right, could I borrow an outlet? I need to charge my phone. Is that okay? Yeah, there's one over there. Thank you
What kind of sandwich do you want?
I don't know. What's good here? I don't know
All right, just make me a sausage and pepper sandwich, right? You got it. Thanks
You
You're never gonna believe this
No
Bill, Bill Grimes is sitting no more than 20 feet away from me
No, I'm in the sandwich shop. He's eating here. Yeah, I'm serious
Move my flight. You have to I'm gonna talk to him
He doesn't know I'm a writer
He's gonna recognize you these guys don't know who we are. They don't think we're human. I'll call you back
Excuse me pardon are you done with the sports section? I
Just wanted to take a look and see how Parker's doing see if he's out of the hospital yet
You got a week ago. Oh
Okay
Hey, do you mind if I see it anyway?
Just a sec
And I guess
I
Speed Parker is back home
Still recovering from injuries that he received after a beating from the opposing teammate Bill Grimes
Parker has since dropped the charges of assault and Grimes refuses to comment
Parker dominates the series in every game sports columnist believe that the Dragons would have won if it weren't for his
Grimes is a lucky catch in the ninth inning of that fifth game. What do they know stinking reporters? Oh
You don't think Parker played well
No, I just don't like them calling it a lucky catch. That's all
When everything Parker ever did
Was showered with luck and I would know because I've known him for years
But played high school together and I'm the one that made the lucky catch
Here Bill Grimes, yeah, I'm also the one who knocked his lights out, but he had it coming
Parker is the luckiest son of a bitch the game has ever seen that's what they should be writing about not that horseshit
I mean he moved here from Montana sophomore year. I mean a decent arm
Wasn't bad at bat, but it was his running the guy that won the team
For the first time we played ball together, I should have known he had a four-leaf clover shooting out of his asshole
This kid salty. It's a pop fly to center
There's one out Parker's on first and he bolts at the crack of the bat
he's clear around third and both coaches are yelling and go back and
The ball pops out of the centerfields club and of course Parker scores
When he gets in the coaches coach's face is all red
He wants some answers. Did you think there was two outs or something? No, then why'd you run?
I knew he was gonna drop the ball
You know, you don't you don't seem to convince
I don't worry. He gets it gets better. So the pitcher throws him a fastball
He pops it up
Only two dumbasses go for it at the same time
Just as one is setting you up the other one bumps into him and they both fall down the ground
Parker gets the second. Well, that's not that uncommon. Then what does he do? He tries to steal third with two outs
Wild throw again, the coaches are blown away. If I was you kid, I would quit baseball go to Vegas
or four
But wait, the best is yet to come. It's the bottom of the ninth. It's a one-run game
There's a runner on third the batter hits a ground ball right to Parker. Now. He feels it clean
instead of going to first like most people do
he
Goes home by the time the ball gets said that the runners passed the plate
But what we don't know and what lucky-ass Parker couldn't have possibly known is that the runner
Missed home plate
The catcher tags about there's three outs. I suppose you knew he was gonna miss the plate
From what I hear things continued that way for Parker through miners all the way up to the point he joined the dragons
every step of the way
He's had luck on his side like they were joined at the hip or something. So
The other night we're both in the lobby talking to the press
Of course, none of them hear him lean in and say hey lucky catch horseshoes
And I see that smile on his face
I was sitting there want to make it permanent
or shoes they're talking about suspension okay, it was worth it
You know some guys they get it all
Yeah, I know what you mean look with the story
You
You
You
You
You
