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Me, I'm me. I'm Johnny Ains. I grew up in not a very well-off family.
We didn't have a lot of money. We were the kids at the table when we were left on the table.
If you didn't eat it, someone, one of your brother or your sister would eat it.
So that's how I grew up. And I grew up basically without a silver spoon in my mouth.
Everything I had to do, I had to earn. My first bike I got from the scrapyard.
I didn't get given it to me or bought it for me. I went down to scrapyard, found a part of a bike,
found a wheel, put it together and made a push bike. And that's sort of how I grew up.
And I tell you what, the kids today, they are lacking really. They get given everything.
I don't think they value things so much and they don't understand the challenges in life
and how good things in life can be and how much you appreciate it.
We used to drive around a car at 15 years of age without a driver licence around the country
because we're a country bumpkin, so it's basically corners from Gloucester.
And my dad, when we had time to go around with the engine, we used to take it apart,
strip the big ends out, the little ends out, put the bearings back in, con rods, everything.
We used to skim an engine and put all the top back on and everything.
You know, grinding the old valves, everything. If we had a problem with exhaust pipe, we'd make one.
So anything mechanical we could get hold of, anything we could weld or grind or do stuff with,
we thought that was that's life.
My dad was a big, big, big influence in my life.
He basically steered me in very much in the direction that I needed to be in
and he looked after me and I missed him an awful lot.
And he died far too early and without getting too upset about these things.
I wish I'd done more with him when he was able.
He died shortly after we entirely died at 65.
But he taught me pretty much everything I know.
When I was a youngster, he always used to take me out into his shed.
And he had a shed at home and we did everything.
We had our valve radios using the Frankston Archway on a Sunday, Saturday and Sunday.
And we would always be doing things.
My first car was a 1964 Morris Miner.
And the registration date was UFH 777 Ultra Fast Hainsey 777.
But it would never go above 70 miles an hour.
I used to call it Ultra Fast Hainsey, whatever I could get out of it.
Yamaha, Yamaha, Yamaha.
Yamaha, Yamaha, Yamaha.
The great thing about a motorbike is it's not like driving a car.
When you're in a car, you have a destination you have to get to somewhere.
When you're on a motorbike, there's no destination.
The road is your brother, your family.
It's you and the bike and the road and you enjoy and you can go wherever you want.
You can end up in places that it's fantastic.
And when you're on a motorbike, you see more and you enjoy more
and you feel much more at one with yourself.
And there's no feeling like it.
And a cruiser does that for you.
Not a sports bike, but a cruiser does that for you because the speed you go,
you can just chill and just enjoy the open road.
It means a lot to me.
Well last night, I had a dream.
A ghost came down to me.
He was talking, he was talking to me.
I was walking, I was walking down the street.
And a ghost came to me.
You know, this is a typical guy.
You know, we get all the badges, we get drunk, we get drunk.
And we never put the badges on.
So this one's Road Runners.
That was 2006.
That's a local rally.
This one is Finland.
So in 2008, I went to Finland with the club.
And goodness me, there's enough patches near to last a lifetime.
I actually belong to what they call Centre 16.
The Solent, which is the Mad Axemen club.
It might be way out for some people.
It's a club for people that, in my opinion, not in everybody's opinion,
it's a club for people who are willing to enjoy life.
And are willing to disregard the pre-decisions, I suppose,
that are made on people, the prerequisites that are made on everybody in life.
You've got to be a certain way.
You can't let yourself go.
You mustn't be happy.
You can't just be you.
Whereas one of the parts about being a biker and being in a club,
whether it's whatever bike you have,
one of the great things about being in a club
and certainly in my club is that you can be relaxed and be who you want to be.
And nobody ever pre-judges you.
Nobody ever asks you.
Nobody ever says you can't be like that.
And that's the great freedom about being in a club and being on a bike.
Your life goes by so fast that you should live it.
Live it to the max.
Live it to the full.
And that's what part of being a bike club is all about.
When you get to a time in your life, people say, you've got a midlife crisis
and you've got a motorbike and things like that.
And it's not.
It's all about saying, you know, I have money and I have time.
And now I can enjoy the things that I can now enjoy.
And I think that people get jealous of other people that do those things
and they try to make themselves feel better by saying,
oh, you're in the middle of a crisis and that,
but secretly deep down, do you wish they'd have a bike?
Do you wish they were doing stuff?
My philosophy in life is I'm going to go into my grave screaming and living
and doing everything I can.
And I'm going to slide into there with bits falling off me.
Do you know what one of the fantastic things I can always remember is
that I have totally abused my body.
I have got so much wrong with me that people,
if they looked at me, they probably think, oh, shit, man.
You know, without going into my medical history, my body is fucked.
But basically, I don't care.
As long as it walks and I can talk and I can think,
I'm going to live every moment for every minute and every second of the day.
I'm going to live it and do it.
And it's brilliant.
I just can't get enough of life and I can't get enough of doing things.
And I can't be sat watching X Factor and goddamn soap.
I'm like, what is it? What is it on the telly they watched?
Something in the East End of London called EastEnders?
What is that? Do people really believe that shit?
Yeah, so it goes on.
But why live other people's lives?
Get out and live your own.
And that's what I'm all about.
You'll find me in my shed doing something.
I'll be on my bike doing something.
I'll be out in my mates doing something.
If I'm not doing that, I'll be painting or I'll be decorating
or I'll be doing anything and everything I can.
And if I'm not working, I am rocking and I'm listening to music
and I'm laughing my head off or I'm having a good drink and having a great fun.
And that's to me, if I could do that for the rest of my life,
I'd be the happiest guy ever.
And even if my body gives out at me, I'll still be doing it.
And I will not stop.
And that's it.
Unlike French beer, which is really shit,
why is it women buy French beer from Asda?
Like it, you know, oh, nice beer.
It's really like a bit of water.
You know, that's why you get from Asda about 50 bottles of this stuff
for about two quid, because it's crap.
You know, unlike Special Brew or something that really is decent,
they buy you this.
I look good, don't I, for 50.
Not bad. Not bad.
It all still works. Everything works.
You know, a bit achy in there, you know, but I've got a lot of laughter.
You know, I'm not too old for this shit.
You're running out of tape.
These guys are classified!
They should laugh.
This is the part of the film.
The part of the film I think you see.
We're going to be laughing.
Hey, I feed off of you. It's like, I feed off of you.
It's good. I feed off of you, bro.
It's good.
I can't believe you're not allowed to say anything.
Am I supposed to talk to myself?
That's all right, cool. Good.
