You
You
You
Hello
Hello
Hello
Don't believe this
You all right it's me again
No, there ain't no one here to pick up
What
Oh
Great, thanks
You
Death mate the door was open. Sorry. I'm here about your note note
Oh
Is this a joke well some of it is yeah for a start she's got no vagina
It's a she in your wife not that you here. What do you want?
I'm from the metazeroid
Falling and I brought a reply to your message
You're a messenger from another planet another galaxy mate. Yeah. Now. You might want to sit down these do tend to go on for a bit
Oh, yeah, thanks for your doodly thing 5,000 years and they can't even do two sides of an a5
What is this anyway some sort of sex party invite
Oh
Sorry, what I don't have any idea what you're on glue
What do you want
Are you slow or something you wouldn't talk back to a text would you it really hurts?
Disconnecting from the server like that. So just let me finish
All right
Look, you must have us confused. We're optometrists. We do eye tests contact lenses glasses that sort of thing
I test
So this would be your first set of contact lenses then I assume
Oh, what's this thing? If you could just look up at the screen for me, sir. Sure. Oh
Can't read by the way
It's that problem you can't read but you can speak perfect English. Oh, no, no, no, not a word
Zoroidal phalanx ish
our
Language has developed in parallel over many millennia and by complete coincidence sounds
Totally identical to English. Of course it does. Yeah
Oh, but it's totally different for the start. We only got four letters. Is that right? Yeah, okay a
C and Q well, it's a all but same thing really
Do you want to know my prescription?
You've already got a prescription. Yeah, I've already got serious. I don't know what these bits are for
Right, that's it. You've wasted enough of my time get out. Hey, I thought we were vibing here
We absolutely are not and I'm asking you to leave
No leave
No, I'm so unfair
Out I'll get my plaque on on your dick
Personally I don't mind the tits
Seen the guy's bell-end is a bit raw in it, mate
You do know this filth landed in a crash. I don't care get out
All right, all I'm saying is it wouldn't hurt to draw some kets on the geezer. That's all
This isn't my real job I didn't ask I'm in a band
Look
Please let me finish
If I go back with another non-delivered, then I'm screwed. You don't even have to listen
Just let me finish
I've got to be back by six tonight anyway to pick Jemima up because her mum's going out on another bloody date
Well, look I I suppose I could
I'm sorry. I am sorry. No, what's your name a friend?
Ian Ian what?
Ian hanky
Ian hanky and you've come here to my little shop from outer space to make contact with the planet Earth
What are you a fucking echo
Right, that's it. I was gonna give you a chance, but that is it
Before I call the police I make another mark dug an army you'd like that wouldn't you message it from another planet
You just think I was born yesterday. Would you expect a fucking convoy a flea fucking delicacy a bigger fish make believe you me
Last thing they want to do is come to this shit bit talk to a bunch of five finger wankers like you
I have customers to see I got customers to see where are they then you're mong
Oh
Yeah, all right, it's me. Look, I'm not gonna be able to make Jemima up
What do you think because I'm still at work
Look, no, even if I could I wouldn't
No, I turn left at Saturn because Uranus is always backed up
No, you're full of shit Karen
No, we did Karen
Karen Karen are you finished are you finished?
Karen, well, no, actually you're not my wife anymore
I was just
Karen
Karen Karen
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh
