So push this button right here when I get over there.
Oh, this button right here?
Yes.
Alright.
So this looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
I guess.
That's for Hill's secret agent, Brock Steele.
Guts, you too.
Wipe yourself off, Major.
You're dead.
You got him.
You got Major Head.
What did you save to saw?
Four out of twenty-one.
I ain't bad.
How do you do it, Brock Steele?
All in a day's work.
Move service, motherfucker!
Ah!
Looks like his last job was to blow himself away.
There's gotta be a better way of saying that.
This is absolutely brilliant.
Do you know what this is?
This is a Polaroid moment.
Don't you mean Kodak?
Yeah, that's what I said.
Wait.
Wait right here.
I'll be right back.
I'm gonna get my-
Blowjob!
Does this look cool?
Definitely.
You named my character Blowjob?
What are you tanning about now?
Oh, you know damn well what I'm talking about, Max.
You named my character Blowjob.
That is not cool.
Bill, do you believe this shit, man?
Nobody tells me nothing.
You know, I feel like we're on the same wavelength.
It's almost like we're finishing each other's sandwiches.
Exactly.
Man, he told me Cindy was supposed to be here to fuck.
What?
He told me this was mandatory.
What an asshole.
Blowjob and Major Richard had thrust their way through the rear.
Are you serious?
It's clever writing, snitch.
Blowjob and Major Richard had.
Major Dick had.
Come on!
You know, not like that racist juice bag.
I wouldn't call him that.
You know, he rewrote your entire script, right?
Well, you know, I trust his vision.
But I didn't know that.
His vision is he's a huge giant.
Peter, what do you think of the rewrite?
Nobody tells me-
Dick sent Max on it.
Oh, never mind, Rick. Here he is.
You got to do another kerfuffle in the classroom.
Yeah, look, Dean dwegged time-
No, no, please. We're friends. Call me Dean.
Right.
Anyway, about what happened, I'm really sorry.
It was just-
Don't even worry about it.
What?
No.
Mr. Dingelberry, he showed me a tape of the student in questions video and you were right on the money.
It's a complete cluster cuss.
I would have said the same thing.
Well, okay, I wouldn't have said it. I would have thought it.
I can't say it. Those kind of things.
But the truth is we need more teachers around here, like you.
So you agree with me?
Yeah.
Why am I here?
I wanted to ask you about the shoot, right?
Should I do a British accent?
Hello, governor? Here I am.
Is that good?
Okay, Cindy, Cindy, Cindy.
Well, that was something.
It certainly was.
Let's get some thoughts on this.
Robert.
John.
Oh.
John, what'd you think?
Oh, um, it was alright.
Thought it was really good.
I liked it.
John, stop trying to get in Cindy's pants.
Anyone else?
Anyone at all?
Rachel, what'd you think?
Well, if a colossal fucking waste of time were a style, I think she definitely nailed it.
Rachel, hello.
Exactly.
Took the words right out of my mouth.
Cindy, that was fucking terrible.
You know that, right?
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Five minutes of my life.
I'm just, I'm not going to get those back, Cindy.
I tried really hard.
Aw.
Baby wants an A for effort?
Nope.
Out of my class.
F for fuck you, Patrick.
Class dismissed!
What?
Hey, Jimmy, this computer's not working.
It's just, it's just a big black screen.
Never mind.
It was just sleeping.
Dean, we're doing your script.
And you can have the lead.
This is great.
This is TGIF, Max.
TGIF.
What's up?
Dean, you're being so dumb.
Hold on.
What?
What the heck?
I told you we weren't doing that.
Now we both look like huge racists.
Jesus, you're so racist, phobic.
It's probably because you're a total fucking racist homosexual yourself.
What?
Oh, I'm the greatest friend that ever lived.
Besides, I'm the only one you've got.
Oh, yeah?
Well, how is it even possible for you to be teaching a class?
What did he do to allow that?
Oh, it's not like you ever tell me where you work or what you do.
Yes, I do.
All the time and you don't listen.
All I ever do is listen to you moan and complain.
Nick, why'd you wear a black face?
Nick, why'd you show it to your class?
Nick, why do you always call me a dumb bitch?
Oh, you know, all you ever do is just take, take, take and you're never giving anything back.
Guess what?
We're not doing your March of the Leprechaun script now.
How do you feel about that?
Fine.
Fucker hung up on me.
Jerk, have fun butchering someone else's script.
That's not it.
God, Bill, tell Dean I'm trying to-
Hey, Jimmy, this computer's not working.
It's just, it's just a big black screen.
Oh, never mind, it was just asleep.
Racist.
Excuse me?
Well, 28 down.
Six letter word for gender intolerance.
Yeah.
Wait, what are you doing here?
What?
I have no idea.
Idea?
Yes, someone has filed a complaint about you.
Your behavior in the class?
What?
Who?
Was it Cindy?
That's not it, bitch.
Listen.
I cannot name names.
It was Bradley Eaglecart.
Yeah.
Oh, he's your student aide?
Oh, Brad?
Isn't his last name Englehart or something?
No, that doesn't sound right.
And I'm very good with names.
Wait, what did he say exactly?
Well, he said something about an offensive video.
It doesn't matter.
It's all very humdrum.
Because what I really called you here for today
was to talk about the script I gave you.
Now, I know you like to do your own thing,
and I think that's great.
I respect it.
I think I'd be perfect for the lead role.
Well, I mean, you know,
we definitely usually write and star in our own things,
so there could be a small part in there for you.
We'll see, but we're still working on it.
So I'll let you know.
Whatever you think is best.
But don't go before you go.
I had these shirts made for us in the department.
Check this out.
Great, right?
Oh, yeah, I can't wait to never wear this,
ever.
Right.
I mean, they totally suck.
They're just...
And I'm wearing this one ironically.
Ah!
We done?
It's nice to have you.
It's nice to have you here.
Yeah.
Be okay.
Candy!
I'm going to wait till I'm ready for it.
Guys, this...
All right, we have...
I have to talk about this, all right?
This is what I want.
Comedy, right?
Okay.
Now your projects,
they're doing 10 days.
I want you to bring the funny.
Like I did.
What are you still doing here?
Get out of my face.
Max, what the hell?
You didn't say anything about showing this video in class.
What's the problem, Brad?
My problem?
My problem is, you just made me look like a complete ass
in front of everybody.
How is anyone going to respect me or you now?
We've got the grades, Brad.
It's going to be fine.
Don't worry, this month's video is going to be much classier
all above the level, man.
Calm down, buddy.
Come on.
Wanker.
20 out of 21?
Not bad.
So let's get down to the tax brass, Max.
My name's not Max, actually.
Oh, that's nonsense.
I think you're the perfect man for the job.
It says here that you graduated the top of your class at NYU.
That's big.
Magnatural.
Play cool, Nick.
Don't fuck this up.
Certainly my resume, isn't it?
Oh, yeah.
Nailed it.
Here's what I'm thinking.
We need someone with a go-to attitude like yours here with us.
Boy, that's me all over.
I'm all about going to and attitude.
Exactly.
I can see it.
So what other experience do you have?
It doesn't say there on the resume.
No, no, no.
I mean, in addition to this.
Lots of stuff.
A friend of mine and I like to make short films every now and again.
Actually, I just had an idea the other day.
We're probably going to start out very soon.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm really into that.
Oh.
Yeah.
In fact, I wrote this little script here.
Please take a look.
Now, I fancy myself in the lead role, but, you know, you can adapt it if you'd like.
I could send you my reel.
I don't think that'll be necessary.
Okay.
I'm going to read this right away, though.
Okay?
Yeah.
That's all I need to hear.
You're hired.
That's great news.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
And because it's this late in the year, I'm going to hire you a teaching assistant.
He's the best student in the film department.
You guys are going to get along like gangbusters.
All right.
Sounds good.
Yeah, it does.
Thanks a lot.
Thank you.
Max.
You don't want to forget this.
Yeah.
Ian Max.
Ian Max.
This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
That's all I need to hear.
