Hey everyone, it's Harriet Sugar Cookie here, the last day of the AVNs and I'm joined with
one of my favorite all time people ever, Nina Hartley.
Nina, thank you so much for doing this.
Hello Harriet, I love Miss Sugar Cookie, she is awesome and if I was her age, I would be
her.
Oh, I want to be half as cool as you later.
Oh my god.
You have 30 years, it's okay.
So what have you been doing here at the AVN Expo this year?
I have been signing autographs each day on Thursday night, I did a stand up comedy routine
10 minutes at the Carnal Comedy Hour at the South Far Gentlemen's Club and I did not suck,
I did not, I don't know what the English equivalent of that word is and then here I am, I end
up talking to you.
This year, I've been doing a lot of dating advice on my website and guys have been wanting
to know how to pick up girls and I thought, you know what, I'm going to ask real experienced
girls, so why would you pick up a girl, what's your advice on that one?
The most important advice is three things, first, grooming and hygiene, are your clothes
fitted well, are your pants pulled up, do you have your teeth cleaned, are you shaven?
I can't, I should not be able to smell your cologne further away than two inches because
if I can do that, I can't get closer than two inches, your scent should not precede
you.
Secondly, before you go out to pick up a lady, take out your favorite scene and give yourself
a really good, oh, that way when you go out, instead of being horny and desperate, which
is a girl repellent, you are confident, calm, radiating, peace and pleasure, which is a
girl attractant and also that means that you'll probably get more phone numbers and then
can set up a date for another day.
It's very difficult, if you're going to try to pick up a girl and get laid that night
with a stranger, it's likely going to be drunken, it's likely going to be fumbling, maybe your
dick won't work because of the fear and the condom.
Quality women are ready to wait, so walk into the room, know that you're looking good, that
you know what, yeah, and then see what happens, but go looking for a girl who's going to,
women don't owe you orgasms, women don't owe you sex.
You owe them an exchange of a good time and so cultivate the qualities that attract women.
Be friendly, know how to listen, ask a couple of questions about besides sports, you know,
and don't be afraid to, you know, hear what she has to say and that's not talking about
being a doormat because you walk on doormat, you don't have to be a jerk because no one
likes jerks, be a human being, but mainly energy-wise, walk in nice and relax, nice
and relax, and then women are going to go desperate, desperate, desperate, desperate,
desperate, desperate, desperate, oh.
Have you ever had a guy pick you up in a really weird place or?
I've never been picked up by a stranger, I got into pornography for that, so actually
in my real life, I've had a little experience meeting people in regular space, I got into
porn, it's full of women, so I'm actually socially very awkward, now that I'm Nina,
I can pick up girls in real life, but back when I was my regular self, I didn't know
how to do it either.
Really?
Yeah.
Wow.
Okay, so let's say I'm a guy, I'm walking along, I see you, I'm like, this woman is beautiful,
I, you know, what do I say?
Well if you're walking around in public space, usually looking lovely, no one's going to
stop and talk to you and give you their number on the streets, it's not going to happen,
leading out of the car door going, wow baby, isn't going to get her to stop and give you
a number, but if she's not too distracted, excuse me ma'am, I couldn't help but think
that you're very attractive, is there any way we might meet, are you available ever
to meet for coffee?
We don't know that she doesn't, maybe she has a boyfriend, maybe she has a girlfriend,
maybe she's not interested, so just, you know, respectful.
You seem really nice, I like the way you appear, and if you, I would love to know you better,
and coffee or tea, whatever you do at England, I have a colleague at Starbucks there, so
the fantasy in pornography is you see a woman, she sees you and boom, cut to doing it on
the bed.
In real life, people are more complicated, social rules, religious constrictions, a level
of propriety, and so the, interfacing the fantasy world with the real world is, there's
a lot of, a lot of turbulence, so I don't know how to meet women in real space, obviously
if you go to a cookery class, first, women like, if you can learn to cook a decent breakfast
and a simple dinner, so go to a class to learn how to do basic cookery, it's going to be
women there, and who knows, and also don't be afraid to look, everyone gets to have
their type, but you can't be stuck up, so when I was, before I was Nina Hartley, I was
a goofy girl with glasses and overalls, basically a denim onesie, and, but my first husband
saw beyond that to something that could be developed and saw something pretty there,
so don't look for the women who are already fabulous, look for the one who has potential,
and make friends with her, friends with her, and eventually it might be friends with benefit,
and eventually it might even be a girlfriend, so that's it in a nutshell.
And another question that is very popular that guys ask is that, you know, if you're
on a date, and how do you bring up this project of like my place or your place, or how many
dates before?
Oh no, how many dates, that is so cultural, but what I like is, is asking, is saying,
you know, I think, I find you very attractive, I would love to discuss the possibility of
one day being intimate with you, one day, so that's just like, not tonight, like, and
if she said, cool, okay, so now we can have the conversation, grownups, from the moment
of, so you and I met last year, and I knew right then that if I ever got the chance to
be intimate with you, I would take it, grownups, you know what, that's good enough, now, now
it can wait till it happens naturally, I don't know rushing around trying to make it happen,
where are you going, what are you trying to, after the show, but before the dinner, like,
the mutual interest is enough for now, then we have conversation, and eventually we'll
be in the same place at the same time, and it'll have been worth the wait, versus a fumbling
rush thing that, the failure, it is builds and builds, like, this is really nice, and
I also no longer tell people, I'd like to have sex with you, I say, you know what, I
would love to share sexual space with you, and think about what that says, having sex
for most of what it means, sharing sexual space means what we want it to mean, and let's
face it, death and babies, intercourse is great, I love intercourse, it rocks, but the
responsibilities that come from it can be great, meaning it's potentially babies, and
potentially illness, until I get to know you really well, I don't want to risk that
for you or me, but we can do hand sex, we can make out, we can masturbate next to each
other, we can masturbate across from each other, I can masturbate you, you can masturbate me,
there are all kinds of things to do that don't involve you having to put your gym in a rubber,
and you risking getting pregnant, which is the buzz kill, and the performance problem,
so Mr. Happy was very happy, and then the rubber came out, Mr. Happy said I'm not happy
anymore, it's a failure, and it's embarrassment, if you work it right, by the time it comes
to intercourse, you'll either be both tested, or he'll be so confident, the rubber won't
be a problem, when pornography is a cartoon, it doesn't happen that way in real life, you
guys don't have to have 10 inches, 20 centimeters of dick, you guys don't have to jump out
of the gate, rock hard, all the stuff that's clumsy in pornography has been edited away,
it's a fantasy, pornography is a paid professional performance of a fantasy scenario, not real
life, it's a live action cartoon, so in real life you establish interest with a human girl,
and then discuss with her what might happen, discuss using words, not beer, not drinks,
because drunken people, they can't get consent, so it's very rapy, and they are terrible lovers,
they can't kiss, they don't know where the clit is, their dicks don't work, and getting
a girl drunk, drunk girls are worse fucks, they lay there snoring, it's like this is
no good, I might as well stay at home and wank myself and save the cost of three pikes,
so cultivate intelligence, cultivate the skills that women are interested in, have patience,
learn to masturbate really well, not in a resentful way, but you know what, I like myself
way, so you exuberate, happy attracts happy, like attracts like, so if you make yourself
really happy there, the right woman will materialize and you least expect it.
Thank you so much honestly, I love meeting you and talking to you, back at you Johnny.
