喂
喂
你怎麼樣
很好
你怎麼樣
很好
你肯定想去嗎
當然
會好
會有趣
你知道
我們正在結婚
我們應該開始
跟其他結婚的婚姻
對
他們已經結婚了10年
所以
他們有很多建議
對
我完全同意
會好
我愛你
我愛你
honey look who it is
the newlyweds
the not quite newlyweds darling
oh what is the difference
come on in you too
a really nice home
thank you operid
you too about a home yet
oh no not yet
when we get back from france
we're going to
france
judy will move into my apartment
and we'll rent her out till we can find a bigger place
judy why don't you come with me to the kitchen
oh ok
yeah let's just let the men do their thing
so you like guns
so are you excited
of course
how big is this dick
I'm kidding
ok
do you want a glass of wine
yes please
cheers
cheers
seriously did you get lucky
but what do you mean
you can tell me
you don't have to be all weird about it
how big is this dick
is it huge
no
it's fine
it's fine
for me
would you bake
no I didn't bake
we just went to the store
and picked up some cookies
you don't bake
I don't even really cook
well honey you better learn
we go to the store
we go out all the time
like out teeth
which is fine for now
but trust me
in the end all any man really wants
is a humkoot meal
and a place to put his wiener
is content
Welcome to The Gun show
我们应该去告诉女士 first, don't you think?
啊, not now, Freddy.
Now, you and I will pick a good weekend.
We'll go out to the desert.
We'll shoot the crap out of some cactus.
We'll shoot the crap out of some cactus.
We'll shoot the crap out of some cactus.
We'll shoot the crap out of some cactus.
Yeah, all right.
All right.
So, do you go hunting a lot?
No.
And why would you even think that?
No, Alexander and I are vegetarians.
So, Judy, tell me, you got any pet names?
Oh, no, we don't have any pets.
I had a dog once named Bartleby.
We called him Boo, but he died.
That's a terrible story, Alfred.
Okay, I'm not talking about names for pets.
I'm talking about names for Alfred.
Do you have any pet names for each other?
I guess not.
I just call him Alfred.
Well, that's going to get really boring.
You got to find some things to call each other.
It's a matter of affection.
Right, honey?
Right.
Yeah.
We call Alexander a lot of names,
but I've never stuck to one particular pet name for too long.
Okay.
For example, when we first started dating,
I called her Babe.
But after a few months,
I switched to Darling and then Honey Pie.
Well, she called me Dolphys and Sugar.
Recently, I've been referring to her as Sexyalexy,
She enjoys, don't you?
I love it when you call me that button.
You see, these little things are what's important in a marriage.
To be constantly evolving and changing.
So that things don't become static.
I mean,I guess we just hadn't really thought of it.
It seems like it.
Okay.Let me hear you give one to Alfred right now.
What's your best shot?
First thing on top of your head.
Spit it out.
Freddy Cakes.
Freddy Cakes.
Okay.
Alfred,your turn.
Judy Cakes.
Okay.It's a little redundant.
But you know,that's a great first effort.
You know,get a long way to go.
But you know,it's a good first try.
Listen,if you guys need any help coming up with names,
maybe just let us know.
Because we have a lot.
Judy Cakes.
Judy Cakes.
Judy Cakes.
嗯
嗯
嗯
Alexandra
Sounds really really good
啊 thank you
It really isn't much
嗯
I didn't make the dressing from scratch though
Alfred
Did you try the salad?
Yeah
It's excellent
I thought you said you were vegetarians
We are
嗯
Isn't this a shrimp?
Yes
Oh
Hi
Okay I understand your confusion now
You see we're vegetarians in the sense that we don't need anything that has a face
Shrimps have faces
Huh
Oh no no no
In this house the men do the dirty dishes
That's right
Oh okay
Okay
Come to the
Come to the bedroom
Hey
I'm going to be a good man with a towel
Because I am fast as hell with a sponge
Sit down
Okay
All joking aside
How is the sex?
Good
On a scale of 1 to 10
I
Like
8
8
In the year that is going to be down to a 4
You are a pussywhip don't you
No
Yeah Judy
Yeah
Right
You're going to have to put a leash on her
That's for sure
Keeping sex fresh is just as important as coming up with new pet names
I'm not too worried about it
I mean we communicate really honestly
And listen to each other's needs
What are you talking about
What am I talking about
Dude
The game doesn't end with dating
Now loves a power play
And marriage is no different
It's all about who's got the power
Who's got control
Who had the power when you decided to go to France for your honeymoon
Whose idea was that
Well actually
It was her idea
Because real men don't want to go to France for their honeymoon
Not good enough
That's not good enough
You have to plan ahead
You have to keep him on his toes at all times
You understand
Yeah
Yeah
Okay
Alright
You know what
I can tell she's really got the upper hand here
But it's not the end of the world
You still got a chance to take it back
You want to know how to do this
Have you thought about investing in any equipment
They
They
Like an elliptical
Oh my god
No come on
Come with me
I'll show you
You listening
I am
Be mean to her
Be mean to her
Yes
Why would I want to be mean to her
They think they don't want it
But they want it
You got to be mean to her
Wow
That's a lot
Yeah
Not all the time
That would get old
But you got to
You got to figure out the right ratio
Of cruelty to tenderness
Because when I first started dating Alexandra
I was a wimp
Softy beaver
Nothing
One night I was blanky
And my fingers just kind of started to go south
And by south I mean
Passed his balls
Passed his taint towards his butthole
And I just had the most wonderful idea
To just shove a couple fingers up there
And he definitely didn't
Definitely didn't see it coming
And he yelled like a little girl
But he didn't tell me to stop
I could tell
He really liked it
So after two years of marriage
I learned that my husband was a huge sissy
But I learned that if I was going to ever
Win her heart
I need to be an asshole
Say asshole
I want to be an asshole
Say it
You want me to be an asshole
No say
I need to be an asshole
You want me to say
I need to be an asshole
Say it like you mean it
I need to be an asshole
Yes, okay, that's good
So what you gotta do is
You gotta throw her off guard
Sometimes when you're being nice to her
You know, scream at her a little bit
Tell her she's gained a couple pounds
Oh, it's magic
He really liked it
Oh, he loves it
He practically begs me for it
We don't even actually bother with regular intercourse anymore
Alright, it's all about control, Freddie
One marriage is just one big battle for control
Well, I wouldn't be okay with that
Well, to be perfectly honest
Gary was never really very good with his little
wee wee or anything else at getting me off
And I'd much rather play with myself anyway
It's much faster and much more efficient, trust me
It's what keeps you together
How long have you been married?
17 years
Yeah, so pretty much
He just does the dishes
And I sent him up here
And have him pick out one of these cocks
And he just waits patiently on the bed
For me to come fuck him in the ass with it
And you know what, we've never been happier
I'm going to tell you, though
If one side has too much control
You're fucked
It's all over
Thank you so much
Yeah, I really appreciate it
Nice to meet you
Really enjoyed it
Really had a good time
Enjoy talking with you guys
Really, you're a lot of fun
Drive safe out there now
Yes, be careful, you too
I like them
I do too, they're wonderful
Well, that was nice
Did you have a good time?
Yeah, I did
I did
Judy
I've been thinking
You know, I'm really in love with you
You are?
I want to keep feeling that way
Really?
So, like I said, I've been thinking
I think we should not get married
And I'm not saying
We should prolong the engagement
I'm saying we should never get married
I mean, not in a million years
Fuck the tax breaks
I'm in love with you
And I don't want to get married
I'm sure you hate me
No, I don't
You don't?
Well, what are we going to do
about the honeymoon?
Well, I guess we'll just have to
go to Paris without it
Zither Harp
Zither Harp
