Hi, I never ever ever filmed videos for my main channel looking like this, so I'm just
gonna apologize in advance.
I'm not wearing any makeup.
I didn't do my hair and I'm wearing the shirt that I slept in.
I realize that I am a wreck, but I feel like lately I have left a lot of you guys' questions
about my stalker unanswered and I wanted to come on and just kind of get a little bit
more personal instead of just like telling the story of my stalker actually get personal
and talk to you guys about how I'm feeling and answer all of your frequently asked questions
and just like address some rumors and just clear everything up kind of once and for all.
I think that after this video, at least for a while, I'm not gonna make any more videos
about my stalker and that's not because things aren't happening.
I will still keep you guys updated on Twitter and Snapchat, but I honestly feel like making
that video has made things a lot worse.
I don't mean like through you guys, I mean like physically with the relationship of me
and my stalker lately.
So many more terrifying things have been happening, but we will get into that in a second.
And I also just don't want to keep dealing with people saying that my story is fake or
that I'm talking about my stalker for views or whatever because like I have said from
the beginning, I could talk about so many different things in order to reach a quota
of views.
I've never told my stalker story for views or for recognition or for people to fucking
talk about me.
I just wanted to tell my story.
Once upon a time, I did feel safer telling it on the internet because I felt like if
I died or something like that happened, people would know that it was because of that.
If that makes sense.
And I just wanted to help anyone going through anything similar and that's with any story
that I tell whether it's me getting fucking almost shot or underage drinking or whatever.
I tell my stories to help people not make the same dumb mistakes I do or just to help
people going through things similarly to myself.
But to this is going to kind of be the end of the stalker videos for a while.
I just want to address everything everyone has been asking and then we're going to move
on and my next fucking few videos are going to be story time.
So to everybody saying like I ran out of story times and this is what I do now, that is not
true.
My next few videos are going to be story times just to prove that point wrong.
I'm excited to just kind of get wrecked and normal.
Normal.
But you know.
So I'm just going to address the main thing first and foremost.
And if I sound like an asshole saying this, my apologies.
But if you do not believe my stalker story, you do not have to watch my videos.
You can unsubscribe.
And saying that literally hurts me to the point that I want to cry.
I don't ever want to lose a subscriber and even when I see one person commenting like
oh, tan has changed.
I'm unsubscribing.
I don't want you guys to think that because my numbers are bigger now that that doesn't
hurt the same way it did back then.
Losing even one member of my family hurts me.
Anybody not trusting me or not believing me hurts me.
But my job is not to come out here and try to convince everyone that I'm always telling
the truth.
It's either you believe me or you don't believe me.
There's nothing I can do.
I'm going to tell it how it is.
And if you believe me, you believe me.
If you don't, you don't.
And I don't want to keep spending lots of energy trying to get people to believe me.
This has been happening to me since I was in the second grade.
And I live my life on a daily basis in fear of dying at a young age, in fear of my mom
waking up one day and me being missing or in fear of everything that I've worked so hard
for being gone and the two million members of my family wondering where I am because
I'm missing.
I wake up every day in fear of being hurt by the same person who has been trying to hurt
me or scare me or whatever the fuck their motive is since the second grade.
I don't sleep, I don't even sleep at night anymore in my own house because I am so afraid
to sleep at night.
I sleep all day and then stay up all night because every single time I go to sleep at
night in my house, I wake up at 3 a.m. to my closet door being open when it was closed
and my dog who was just asleep in my bed the last time I checked at the edge of my bed
shaking and barking at nothing because no one is there.
I wake up to my phone on a different nightstand than I put it on before I went to bed.
I wake up to the lights being off when I turn them on.
Every time I go to bed at night and I wake up, I wake up in fear but it's like every
single thing that's happening is not something I can call 911 for.
I can't be like hey 911 my closet door is open and it was closed they're gonna tell
me I'm fucking crazy so it's to the point that I sleep all day because I'm afraid to
sleep at night.
It's to the point that I can't go anywhere alone.
I literally will make Isabella come with me to the bathroom when I have to go to the
bathroom because I'm afraid to go to the bathroom alone.
I don't even take Uber as much anymore because I feel like my stock is gonna pick me up and
it's not even fucking over.
Every single thing I do every day, I am doing it in a slight amount of fear.
I don't even bother talking about my own future anymore because sometimes I feel like it's
not even gonna exist and for people to come on the internet and tell me that like that's
fake or that I'm lying, it's to the point now where I'm just exhausted with that and
I'm drained with that and all I know to say is if you don't believe it you don't have
to watch because I live my day to day life constantly in fear of life itself, of everything
that I do and I don't know what to do about it.
And everybody seems to have a solution and they tell me oh she could get security cameras,
she's dumb or she could do this, she's dumb but like it's not your life and you're not
going through it and I'm doing my best now to be as secure and as safe as possible and
I will get into all of those measures in a moment but it's like everyone just has something
to say about it but the only person who's going through it at the end of the day is
me and it is terrifying and I hate it.
And I just wanna say though for the people that are there supporting me and the people
that are there to believe me and the people that are just like they're praying for me
and telling me that they hope things get better and that they want things to stop.
I am so thankful for you guys and like I said in the very first story and I will continue
to say I'm not doing this for pity, I don't want pity, I don't want the comments below
to be like oh my god I'm so sorry, I feel so sorry for blah blah blah that's not what
I want.
I guess I'm coming on here today just to say I am frustrated with people not believing
it I guess.
I either believe it or don't, I don't know what to say you know there's just no point
in commenting those things or telling me those things because I live my day to fucking day
life in fear of one person and it's almost insulting when people tell me I'm lying about
it because it's not like I need to talk about my stalker for views, I'm not saying I get
views and I'm this giant fucking youtuber and like everything's peachy keen but like
I can film a video with Shane and get more views than talking about my stalker, I can
film a story time about the first time I got drunk and get the same amount of views.
I can film so many other things to get views or subscribers, I would not talk about the
one thing that drives me fucking insane for views like I'm just talking about it cause
it's my fucking life.
So now I'm just gonna get into answering a lot of you guys' questions and the first
one I have gotten a lot of questions about are the story that I read in my last video
titled Sick.
When I read that story, it was just a story that I got into my email, I was afraid.
I definitely assumed that it was my stalker because the writing was so like him, it was
so intelligent and whatever and after posting that a lot of people found the story online
and the actual writer of the story emailed me and apologized and he was like like the
same email that Jason wore, he's like with the clown and everything.
He basically just said hey I didn't know you were going through all of that, it was
just Halloween time.
I was just trying to scare you, I didn't know that all of that was happening, I've been
getting a lot of people reaching out to me, that was not my intention, I'm sorry I altered
the story to scare you, blah blah blah blah blah.
And so I guess all I know to really say to that is after that happening I found out the
story wasn't written by my stalker, did it still terrify me during everything else going
on like during the fucking Polaroid shit going on?
Absolutely, I was just reading a story saying it could be for my stalker that I was afraid
and I just want to tell you guys I'm so thankful for you guys being fucking detective ass,
sleuth ass motherfuckers because finding out that that story wasn't written by somebody
wanting to fucking kill me and put my head in a freezer lifted a lot of weight off my
shoulders and I'm really thankful for that.
And to anybody saying just because that email written to me happened to be like on a website
that my entire fucking stalker story is fake, that's just like ignorance to me, I don't
know like I got that email I was afraid.
The rest of my stalker story is still my fucking stalker story, I still have my second grade
yearbook with his fucking pictures in it.
He's still into court for other things that he's done to me, he's still into jail like
it all still is the same story, it's just like that email happened to be from someone
else, I don't really like know what to say you know.
To everybody commenting oh my god just get a new fucking phone, get a new phone number
whatever, I just did both of those things, I just got an iPhone 7 and I just changed
my phone number, brand new phone with a brand new phone number and about a week later my
phone is doing all of the same things it was, it still beeps when I call, I still will lock
it and then open up and it's different apps, all the time random pictures will be saved
to my camera roll that I did not screenshot and I did not take that are of random things
like a black wall or like a screenshot of a tweet on Twitter that I didn't fucking screenshot
or like whatever.
So I'm under a very vast assumption that my phone is still cloned, if you guys want me
to tweet all of the pictures that have been saved to my camera roll I can show those if
you want to, they're just really fucking creepy I don't know.
My phone is cloned again and yes I can go get another new phone and go get another new
phone number and go get another new laptop and go get another new wifi network and go
get another new iPad and go get another new router and go get another new smart TV because
someone can clone your phone just based off of if you connect to your wifi network once
or if you plug it into your computer once.
So once one thing is cloned you have to go get an entire new set of things and obviously
that is very fucking expensive and I'm not just gonna keep doing it you know what I mean
just for five days later or it to happen all over again so everybody asked me about that.
I got a new phone and I got a new phone number and I tried to fix it, it didn't work I don't
know I guess in a month's time I'll go get a new phone and a new phone number and it
won't fucking work.
Do you understand why I'm exhausted and why I feel defeated like that's why.
For everybody asking me why do you put it on the internet blah blah blah I was just having
this conversation when Natalia the other day she was kidnapped when she was really young
and she was getting a lot of hate for the same reason why did you put it on the internet.
We both were just talking about and came to the same consensus of like I would rather
share my story so if something were to happen to me people would know the story like if
I just filmed completely normal story times and I never talked about my stalker story
and I still had my stalker and then one day I went missing no one but people close to
me would know why but if I'm sharing my stalker story on the internet and I went missing there
would be millions of people who knew what was good and could assist injustice I don't
know I just I feel like there's strength in numbers I also am very much an open book
with you guys I always have shared every fucking tidbit of my life and that's why when people
say I'm not real or people say I'm not open or that I'm changing I still on a daily basis
share every single tidbit of my life with you guys because I want to have that relationship
with you guys I want you guys to feel like my family I want you guys to feel like my
friends and that's why I share this story I would much rather come on right now and
say hey I am exhausted I feel like shit I don't sleep at night I am afraid to fucking
do anything anymore my phone is fucking gone I'm going insane then come on and be like
hi guys I'm so happy this is my makeup routine because that's fucking fake and that's on
how I am I just share what I'm feeling I share what's going on that's what I've wanted to
do since the beginning and that's what I'm going to continue to do to everybody asking
for and telling me and giving me advice to what security measures I should take tomorrow
I am having a home security person come install the most high tech top of the line home security
system in my entire house and I'm hoping that that will do something I don't think it will
because my stock is very capable of hacking anything but I'm doing that I'm starting
with that and I'm looking into companies that let you rent rotwielers for like use like
basically they're like a security dog that is trained to attack when you say attack it's
for it to like sit at the edge of my bed when I sleep I'm looking into that I've also looked
into a bodyguard just at the end of the day a lot of these things are really fucking expensive
and time consuming and require a lot of upkeep and I'm still very busy with YouTube and with
touring and with all the projects and traveling that I'm working on it's just been hard but
lately I've come to the realization that those things are more important than me doing other
things because if I were to die or if I were to go missing or if one of my friends were
to die which I'm going to get into in a moment some schedule should happen yesterday I realized
that my life is very important and I wasn't valuing it as much as I could and I was just
kind of accepting that I was gonna fucking die one day and that's not smart so yeah I'm
looking into every security measure I'm looking into a bodyguard or a rottweiler I got a new
phone I'm trying you guys I'm really trying to end this I'm not just doing it for like
pity I don't know a lot of people also say why don't you confront him why don't you say
who he is why don't you show up to his house and the answer to that is the same thing I
was saying in the beginning I am terrified of this human being I live my everyday life
terrified of the capabilities of this human being because everything he does is so traceless
I know that if he wanted to kill me he would be able to do it tracelessly when it comes
like fingerprints being left or coming in my house without people knowing or fucking chloroforming
me and dragging me the fuck away without anybody knowing I have never been more sure of someone
being able to do something why would I antagonize him and make him want to do those things more
why would I show up to his house when I know right then and there he could do something
to me that he could probably do tracelessly I also don't know where he lives or where
he resides so that is very difficult I just I'm afraid I don't know and then a lot of
people also were wondering my friends and family standpoint on this I'm going to at the
end of this tell you guys a quick story of something that happened yesterday just to
get you guys to understand that this never stops and you'll understand my friends standpoint
on it more but my family they have the same standpoint on it as I do they are terrified
they want me to do everything I can to stop them my mom experienced a lot of this firsthand
because she lived with me at my old house when he broke into my house the first time
and folded all of the clothes and she was there for that so she knows what he's capable
of she knew then and there like he could do anything tracelessly he could lock her keys
in her car tracelessly he can do anything tracelessly so she is on the very much same
pages I am my mom often calls me and I literally hate saying this on the internet so much
I hate that my stalker is going to hear me say that not that he doesn't listen to my
phone calls but she calls me all the fucking time crying all the fucking time telling me
that she doesn't want me to die before she dies or telling me that she wants me to be
safe because she doesn't want to see anything happen to me and nothing really terrifies
me more than my mom waking up to me being dead or me being missing so everybody asking
my family's standpoint that is it I don't know I'm fucking scared they're fucking scared
and I would hate for that to happen to my mom and stalker if you are watching this I hate
that I am admitting to this on the internet and that you are watching this so I have tried
to answer every single person's question that they have asked I have tried to address every
single rumor if you have any more leave them in the comments below just like on my original
stalker story I will be replying to so many comments because I appreciate you guys has
input so many people have prayed for me and helped me and taught me so many fucking things
and I'm so thankful so I hope I answered all of your questions and if you have more I will
answer them in the comments below and on Twitter but now I'm just going to get into what happened
yesterday so I have been Reno I originally came up here for Halloween but I ended up
staying a few days later just because I was fucking afraid to go home and I didn't want
to go home I feel a lot safer here versus in my bed all alone and so all of my friends
came up with me as well Maya Bella and Ashley my best friends are Maya Bella and Ashley you
guys see Bella a lot but Maya and Ashley are also my two other best friends and have been
for a long time and Maya and Ashley live with me I'll explain all of that in a moment but
me Maya Bella and Ashley came up to Reno for Halloween just staying out with all of our
friends and after Halloween the day after they flew home I was supposed to fly home
with them but I honestly just felt uneasy I didn't want to fucking go home I wanted to
stay for a few more days I've been so stressed out and terrified and I just needed a moment
to film my videos and relax here Bella has her own room and Maya and Ashley share her
room and it's awesome and I love them and I love living with them and I'm so grateful
for my friends they really do make me feel a lot safer and I'm thankful for that I'm thankful
for the fact that they basically risk their lives to live with me we all have a group
message where we all like make our plans in with us girls and our three closest guy friends
and so they were texting in the group message and they made plans for our three guy friends
to come over Amari and then our friends Ivan and Nick that you guys don't know and so Amari
Ivan and Nick came over and they were all hanging out at my house while I was here in Reno
so it was Bella Maya Ashley Amari Ivan and Nick and so they all hung out for a few hours
and then Amari Ivan and Nick went home so it was just the three girls in the house and
they went to bed and then it was a late night so everybody was sleeping in except Ashley
Ashley had worked the next morning at 8 30 so she was up at 8 o'clock and she walked out
of her room and she just called me and told me all this so I'm just like relaying what
Ashley said basically she immediately woke up and just felt uneasy felt like someone
else was in the house like she didn't know what to do you know just like felt weird and
so she was walking from her room to the laundry room it's basically like down a hallway and
as she was walking down this hallway she heard footsteps behind her like someone was walking
behind her and she didn't really know what to do she immediately like froze and was scared
but kept like facing the same way because she didn't want to turn around and face them
she had no weapon she had just gotten up out of bed she was very confused and so she walked
into the laundry room and like got in there and kind of got her grips together and still
kept hearing footsteps of someone basically being behind her and so she's standing there
facing into the laundry room and finally she turns around and as she's turning around she
hears someone like like rush around the corner like basically like pivot turn from where
they were standing behind her to right around the corner because right outside of the laundry
room you can turn around a corner and not be like seen from the laundry room if that
makes sense and so she turns around and she sees no one and then in her peripheral she
sees the door to her room open and Maya asleep in her room and Maya and Ashley are like this
so obviously she fucking like freaked out she wanted anything to happen to Maya so she
ran into her room with Maya and shut the door and locked the door now Bella's room is next
door to their room so they started blowing up Bella's phone woke her up and told her
to come in the room with them so all three of them get in the room they locked the door
and they're like we hear someone in the house they heard someone running up the stairs because
my stairs are like wooden they're very like loud like you can hear anyone going up them
and so they're all like fuck okay what do we do so the first thing they do just so they
don't call the police or freak anybody out for no reason is they call individually Amari,
Nick and Ivan to make sure that one of them didn't come back or stay the night or anything
like that and all three of them were at home in their beds answered and were like no I'm
not there so as they're sitting there for a second they're like do we call 911 like
Tana's not here what do we do and they hear someone stomping upstairs not even like walking
and this gives me chills because I just like hate that my friends were in my house and
something could have happened to them and it is my fucking fault I'm just thankful for
them honestly if I feel like they were in their position I would move out and they still
stick by my side and I'm really appreciative of it they hear the stomping upstairs and
they freak the fuck out they're like what do we do someone's upstairs like it's stomping
there someone just like running around in my room upstairs and so they call 911 and there
are two doors in my house basically there is one on the top floor and one on the bottom
floor you can accidentally enter through both doors it's basically like two front doors
and so they call the police and they tell them they hear someone upstairs and that if they're
going to leave that they're probably going to exit through the top floor because why
would they come back there and pass them and get caught the police have them stay in the
room until they get there and once the police get there they ask them if they can leave
my loft and go into the parking garage to be safe and so they're like yeah the person
is upstairs we hear them right now they'll probably exit through the top door so we'll
just run straight out of Maya's room out of the front door and down to the parking garage
so that's what they did they ran out of the front door and they left the front door open
and they ran out of the parking garage and they talked with the police I actually told
them everything because Ashley was obviously the one who knew the most because Bella and
Maya were just asleep look at that my phone just randomly slid and tried to open and enter
a passcode Ashley tells them everything they know and then the police come up and the girls
stay outside and they clear the whole house and they tell them that no one is inside and
so the police confirm that there was no signs of breaking and entering from any of the doors
the balcony doors nothing that whoever entered had to have used a key the girls all basically
confirm that they didn't really hear anyone come through the front door that they probably
entered through the top door and so the police take them upstairs and they're looking at the
door and they realized that the door is locked like the top door to the top floor is locked
so whoever was just upstairs and left out of the top door had to have locked it they would
have just left out of that door the door would have been unlocked so then the police do this
little thing where they stick this like silver wire swabby thing in the keyhole and they basically
can confirm that the keyhole was just used I don't know how the fuck police officers
do that you can Google it if you don't believe me I don't give a fuck that's what they told
my friends that's what my friends told me so they basically said whoever was just inside
if you really heard someone or whatever because they couldn't confirm that anyone was inside
they have a key so you need to change your locks obviously my soccer thought no one was
home because I was out of town I guess and came inside realized people were there and
left and locked the door with his own key so today we got the locks changed so that is
out of the way and that is good and now we are getting a security system the only two
things that leave me frightened with that encounter is what was he doing in my room
and why did he want to break in what like are there more cameras in there now is he
watching me sleep or their microphones like did he take something and that my friends
that I care about and that I love so much were in danger because of me I want you guys
to know that that is one thing that also really sits with me every day is that my mom my dad
my friends everyone I love is constantly in fucking danger because of me and that there
isn't really much I can do about it so the police just advise us to get a security system
and to get new locks and that if it happens again they can swab for fingerprints but someone
who is smart enough to have a key made to go in my house probably didn't leave any traces
of themselves that's what happened yesterday and that all of that information is from Maya
Isabella and Ashley if you don't believe me you can ask them what happened on their Twitter
or whatever I hope that all of your questions were answered and I just want to say again
I don't want pity I never want pity I was just and have been here to share my story
and I'm so thankful for the people that have prayed for me and reached out to me I would
be nothing without this family I would be so broken and so lost and I would have no purpose
if it was not for all of you and thank you for keeping me alive because honestly I think
that if I didn't have this purpose and this family going through shit like this I would
just want to end it because I would want to be the person to end my life and not give
my stalker the joy of knowing he could end it if that makes sense and I've I definitely
think about those kind of things every day but the thing that keeps me living is you guys
so thank you for that and after this video for all of the skeptics and people annoyed
of hearing about my stalker there won't be any more stalker stories for a while just
for my own safety and to stop filling my channel with that kind of negativity because I'm still
about spreading positivity also for anybody asking I am filming a video with the psychic
twins where they are going to predict my death and tell me what my stock is going to do and
all of that ASAP I know a lot of people have been requesting that and I'm excited to do
that with them but yeah I love you guys so so so much and I'm so sorry that as I'm nearing
two million this is the shit I'm going through I love you guys so fucking much and I'm trying
not to cry because I don't want to cry because I don't want to look weak I love you guys
so fucking much and I would be fucking nothing without you I'm so thankful for your endless
support and devotion to me and being an amazing family I love you so much and I will talk
to you in the next video bye also my friends this is what stress does to you you bald
and hair falls out of your head every single day since I've been showering giant fucking
clumps of hair have been falling out of my head and now I just have this awesome fucking
sick ass bald spot and I have another one over here as well right there you can see
that right there so it is currently 524 and I'm editing this video right now because like
I said earlier I don't sleep at night when I'm at my house and I'm at my house right
now and so something really weird happened right after I got done filming this video
Ashley called me and told me about this and I didn't get to include it when I was sitting
down filming there so I'm just going to talk about it right now in this little video clip
or whatever so the next day after they called the police everything kind of went back to
normal for the rest of the day and then the next morning Maya got up for work and she
woke up and she had to shower and so she went in the bathroom took a shower and she got
out of the shower she looked in the mirror the mirror looked completely normal it was
just a foggy shower mirror like everything was all foggy steamy you couldn't really
see it but it was a completely normal mirror and so then she went in her room and sat down
in her mirror and started doing her makeup and then Ashley realized then that she had
to also get up for work so she got up out of her bed and she went in the bathroom to go
ahead and take a shower and she walked in the bathroom and immediately was fucking terrified
she looked in the mirror and there was just the creepiest little freshly drawn like drawn
within that minute smiley face in the mirror and I'm going to insert a picture of it right
here and here it is on Ashley's sample sorry but like I said I inserted the picture right
here that little smiley face was on the mirror and so she walks back into Maya's room and
she's like hey did you draw this smiley face in the mirror like I'm freaking out I'm just
paranoid whatever and Maya was like what smiley face and Ashley was like stop like you're
fucking with me like she thought Maya was fucking with me and then Maya was like no
I didn't draw that and so they both walked into the bathroom together and Maya was like
I didn't do that Bella didn't do it I wasn't home yet that happened the next day I was
still in Reno and so within the time that Maya got out of the shower and went into her
room and Ashley got up and walked into the bathroom to shower that smiley face had to
been drawn on that mirror because like I said Maya didn't see it before and it's not like
someone did it on the mirror before the steam came up and then the steam came up and it
showed through it was like freshly drawn and Maya didn't see it so nobody knows how or
why that happened that was actually sound about sorry I just thought I would include that
to a bit adding to my point of something happens every single day I also got in contact with
the FBI since making that video and that is really helping me like ease my nerves a little
bit I'm hoping they can do something the first thing they told me to do was to put this in
a video to put this everywhere I'm gonna say it really quick and it's gonna sound really
morbid and I'm sorry but I'm making this statement now so that if I were to ever die that it
could not be ruled as a suicide when it wasn't if I ever die or if I ever go missing I want
you guys every single one of you to know anyone watching this the police if they watch this
one day is fucking evidence or whatever I will never commit suicide I am not suicidal I will
never be suicidal and I would never ever end my life so for some reason I went missing
they found my body and even if the killer made it look like it was a suicide I am saying
right now it was not I was killed because that is often really common if someone wants
to kill someone and they're afraid they can't get away with it by hiding the body or whatever
they make it look like a suicide and it gets ruled as a suicide and that person continues
on living their life as a murderer and no justice is served because if I die obviously
I want justice to be served to the person who killed me it isn't a suicide and it won't
ever be a suicide and I'm not suicidal nor will I ever be so yeah I just had to include
that FBI gave me that tip I thought it was a really smart tip I wanted to include it
I hope all of your questions were answered in the video and like I said in the beginning
if you don't believe it you can just stop watching so yeah um 5 28 am and I have a flight
in 5 hours what the fuck is sleep I will talk to you guys in my next video which is probably
the video I'm filming today with the psychic twins so I love you
