So, I got into a yelling argument with the postal woman today.
What?
Why?
Not our regular woman, the blonde with the pink hat.
This one had dreads.
And when she was pushing our mail through the mail slot, Andrew heard her go, I can't
believe it's February and some people still have their fucking Christmas decorations up.
So I went outside and I told her we could hear her cursing about our decorations and
it was very unprofessional.
Well she obviously felt awkward because she started to protest.
So I said, you're wrong, you're rude and I am going to report to you.
I heard her belligerently yelling all the way up the block.
Wait, yes, I think I did hear this going on this morning.
I should have known it was you.
Well, yeah, you probably heard me yelling, Andrew, get your phone and record her yelling
at me.
Ford, you are so dramatic.
Good luck getting your mail going forward.
I wonder how it could actually report her.
And yes, it's February and yes, my wreath is still up, Sue me.
I'm sorry you've had so much trouble.
We have had a lot of carriers over the years, but from my understanding speaking to them
is that no one likes this route.
Tracy, the blonde one, is a regular carrier.
I have a feeling she may be on vacation.
Great.
So you fucked the whole neighborhood because you couldn't take down your smelly ass Christmas
wreath.
For the past few months, we've had a mail carrier who folds all the mail in half and
then forces it halfway through the mail slot.
Yes.
It then sits there all day getting the permanent crease down the middle.
I have no idea why he does this considering the mail slot's wide enough for just about
any letter.
Every other mail carrier's been able to figure out how to push the mail through the slot
without folding it.
Thank you.
Unfortunately, no one's usually at home when this mail carrier delivers the mail, so we
can't confront them and ask them to stop.
Yeah, I know.
I completely agree.
Did you see the holiday cards that were folded increased?
Yes, holiday cards folded in half was the last straw for me.
I'm going to leave a note requesting that all mail be left flat.
Look, I would be offended too, but it's her disdain for your decorations, which may have
been blocking her from putting mail in the slot.
Is that enough to get her reprimanded or even fired?
Is it possible that she could have cut her hand or jabbed her finger on the decorations?
I don't know.
I've never seen your wreath, but you did say that she said that they were blocking the
slot.
Just a thought.
Ah!
Look at that!
It's getting late.
Did you remember to feed the cats?
No, you didn't.
Let's go.
Get your coat.
Oh my God!
You're a poor kitty.
It's so late.
Shame.
You know what?
Fuck the coats.
Let's go.
Thanks for the wine.
Hey, Sam.
Oh my God.
Hi.
How are you?
I'm good.
Yeah, we're all good.
That neighborhood meeting about the rat situation starts in about a half an hour.
Okay.
Well, I look forward to reading about it in the Facebook group.
Oh no, come on.
These meetings are always way more hilarious in person.
Trust me.
Okay, depends on who hosts, because, you know, last one I went to was kind of wack.
Well, I was supposed to host, but...
Who are these people?
Always wanted to see the inside of this house.
Yeah, I just love the apartment.
Front door to side door.
How nice of Sam to host, right guys?
Hi, I'm Martha.
I'm president of the Neighborhoods Association.
It is such an honor to meet you.
Rebecca told us how nice the new neighbors were next door.
How kind of you to offer up your kid-free home.
Offer?
I brought plenty of snacks and some highly recommend cat food for your kitty.
You can keep it.
The side door.
I'm guessing.
This is going to be prime time entertainment, trust me.
There have been some conversations around this before, but I'd just like to see who is seeing rats,
either in their yard or street.
It seems like this is becoming a wider issue.
Well, I see him running across the street when I'm driving at night down camera.
And my neighbor's cat, he chases him down on varsity.
Now, when I walk on my dog in the neighborhood, he picks up the scent.
That's why he's, you know, digging under the stony burrows and tall grass.
Now, this is definitely a problem.
Now, we've been here 30 years.
We have never seen no shit like this before.
Well, my cats killed two or three already.
And I don't know if he's finding them in our yard or on the street.
But I did see a couple run across our yard the other day.
But animal control is investigating whether or not they're nesting.
But I really don't think so.
Oh, and the rats put up a fight with my cat and he got wounds
and an infection that the vet said he got from the fighting rats.
Our license, yet still mostly feral cat fabric, has caught a few big ones and a couple babies.
But I swear he's going to New York to hunt because I know that my husband and I keep our property clean.
So we wouldn't be attracting rats rodents.
Your cat's name is fabric?
Yeah, he's my oldest of four.
Let's bring back the feral stray cats.
Now, they control the neighborhood.
Now, I'd rather see the cool cats walking the neighborhood than them dirty-ass rodents.
I called Frank Seraji, the health control officer.
He came out, but he didn't find any evidence of a nest.
We found a dead rat in our front garden, which stupidly I threw out.
He told me that unless he sees physical signs of rats that legally they can't put bait down.
Maybe we should have freezed the rat for proof and experimentation.
Okay, Dr. Frankenstein.
Oh, we can waterboard him.
Bring me to your leader.
I think it's worth noting a progression.
There used to be bunnies everywhere, my yard included.
Then the skunks invaded and destroyed the bunny population.
And now, rats.
Could this be related to a hoarding neighbor?
Not sure.
This all began when the town removed the garbage can at the corner because said neighbor was using it to regularly dispose of his trash.
When the can was taken, he started storing trash on his porch.
I think this is something that Hank touched on a while back.
It's interesting at any rate.
This isn't meant to be about placing blame, but rather about seeing how widespread the problem has become to see what the town can do to further address the issue.
No, not placing blame.
The hoarding neighbor does play a role to a larger degree.
There are vermin on his property, under his house, and in the junk cars in his yard.
That's just the facts, folks.
No blame, no meanness.
There is only one house that provides safe haven for these critters.
Respectfully, when I talked about this before, I was referred to by many of you as mean.
There is only but so much food and landscaping help we can give that man.
He can no longer handle the house.
I blame the town, not him.
Maybe now someone is willing to listen.
My friend, no one can call you mean ever.
It's an issue and it's growing.
Those rats have been around a long while.
My cat keggers leaves them on my steps.
The fact remains without disposal, garbage grows.
And with that growth in summer, well, the math can be done.
So many creative cat names here.
Listen, we live in a culture where unfortunately, until something directly affects someone, silence is golden.
Look, I can't stand rats like anybody else.
The house directly behind us is vacant.
It's been that way for a long time.
When we first moved in, the lawn was overgrown.
They cut it when they started the construction for the university,
but I did notice that the rat problem started immediately after.
Yeah, that's true.
I mean, I haven't seen a live one in a while, but a few months ago,
I saw a couple running in between our garages and by the back fence.
It was so gross.
Vacant houses, don't draw rats.
They come after a food source.
An unruly lawn won't do it either.
It's food. Garbage equals food.
Garbage, not in a can.
It's like a county fair.
Okay.
Thank you for the education.
You're welcome.
I just hope that for anyone who has a cat that their cat does not get injured by a rat like Sharon's cat was,
and I'm also glad that we've only seen dead rats.
But if anyone has a neighbor who they think may be contributing to the problem,
that we can come up with a solution and it can be dealt with.
Wait a minute.
I did hear of a guy who has a non-lethal way of getting rid of rodents out of a neighborhood.
He has a way of releasing a high frequency sonic blast by mouth
and all the vermin just follow him down to the river.
However, I have to stress, he must be paid after the job.
Well, he sounds amazing. Do you have his number?
Jesus Christ, Sarah, he's talking about the fucking Pied Piper.
Pied Piper? That's just a fairy tale.
Do you think that this is funny, Sam?
Because this is serious.
Oh my God, something just moved past my leg.
The rat sir inside now is all over.
What in the absolute fuck?
What in the absolute fuck?
