Can I tell you, can I tell you, can I tell you, can I tell you all about it?
All about it.
All about it.
All about me.
God, you look good.
That was really weird.
All for you.
What's going on?
I started a monster.
They're getting along.
It is a monster.
I get it, you guys. You're not sleeping together.
Oh, I'm sorry. Because you were about to tell us this story.
I got distracted over here looking at this amazing sparkly eyes.
Hey, you see, I have sparkling eyes. That's my thing.
And you could say she has luscious lips, shiny hair, great visibility.
Okay, your date.
My terrible date?
I don't understand. She clearly likes you as much as you like her.
Did I mention Shane?
Shut up.
I want to warn you, I'm a really good eater.
I also drink occasionally, a lot.
I can deal with that.
Okay, just a heads up.
But I also sometimes walk around with a chipped fingernail polish.
You should.
It's really unprofessional.
I'm not trying to employ you.
So you wouldn't employ me because of my nails?
No, I wouldn't employ you because you talk too much. Your nails are fine.
Hey!
But I do talk a lot, and I can stop.
It's an ability I can possess, and if you like, I can stop now.
I really like hearing you talk.
I really like that you like hearing me talk.
I'm just kidding. These jokes are awful.
We're safe now, so that we can... I just wanted...
I'm going to be right back, okay?
Oh my god.
I didn't know if I should hook her or ignore her, and then I got mad.
She should have just left you alone.
I raise you five.
I didn't want you to have a scare.
Do you want it?
Yeah, my driver's test tomorrow.
Good, good. Yeah, another Asian on the road.
Just kidding, although I don't drive for that reason.
Oh, thank you. I raise you twenty five, bitch.
You guys!
Shane, what are you doing here?
This is the only place I told you not to come ever.
Maybe that war was over.
War? No, and you don't even like seafood, so...
I miss hanging out. I miss your jokes. I miss your laugh.
I really miss you.
You do?
Yeah.
I was meaning to text you.
Susie and I broke up, and I've been thinking about you.
She was never you.
And I regret a lot of things.
I'm really sorry to hear that, Shane.
I've always had that way of saying my name.
The audacity. She should just throw herself on you at the restaurant.
Wait, I don't get it. Is that like a sexual innuendo or something?
No, she genuinely likes the way I say her name.
Say it.
Shane?
Shane.
I don't hear it.
Shane.
Shane!
Shane!
Shane!
Shane!
Shane!
Shane.
Yeah, I still don't hear it.
No, but I win.
Uh, leave I do.
If you prefer, you can pay me in sexual favors.
I'll text you, okay? Just go.
Do you still have my number?
Hi.
You're on a date.
Hi.
I'm Shane.
No!
Are you unanimous? No, you guys?
This may be a rock bottom.
I'll leave you two alone.
Thank you.
We'll talk.
That was Shane.
I'm really sorry about that.
The rest of the evening, there was no kissing, no physical contact, no laughing at my jokes.
No, but thank you. No, I was funny.
But then Shane texted me.
Did you respond? No.
You're great.
But Joanne has been avoiding me.
She's probably in true the situation.
Well, you're so smart.
You make me feel really good about myself.
I make you feel real good, right?
I want it.
Well, I'm turned on.
So that's the latest update?
Yep, I'm textless.
I'm sexless.
And moneyless.
But with great friends.
When Samantha's the one pointing out the positive, you know she's getting laid.
I'm the luckiest person in the world.
Okay, that's all the water and breeders I can handle.
Have a good night, guys.
I'm tired. Thanks for letting me lose.
You're welcome. Go in bed.
Please clean up, guys.
I'll clean tomorrow.
That's all right, I got it.
You are such a suck up.
You know you like it.
Okay, nobody's listening anymore.
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
Wow, look who joined cleanup crew.
Shut up. It would be weird if I left you here and then nobody could lock the door.
I think you like me.
I think you're projecting.
That could be. That's true.
You don't find me a little bit sexy.
I guess I like your shirt.
Yeah.
Next time on Kelsey.
Tyrone's got a car.
Kelsey's got a car.
Owning this friend.
What did you say last night?
Did you say that to her?
Stop.
She did not say that last night.
I don't want to listen to them.
They're pulling my leg.
Has Shane said anything else yet?
I don't know.
I don't know.
