When will I be good enough to be all I want to be?
When will I be good enough to live my life and be free?
When will I dance till the morning lights up my day?
When will I be good enough to be all I want to be?
So, Helen, G, Letaly, my first question is what does the G stand for, if you don't mind sharing?
Well, it's definitely very vulnerable. Not really, but it has been, it was.
Really? Oh.
It stands for Gertrude.
And I was named after my mother's aunt, who took care of her when her mother died, very young, like at childbirth.
So, and then I was the child who was born after that.
And in the Jewish tradition, you name your child after someone who's passed away.
Or you use the letter of their name, so that's what she did.
Because Gertrude is kind of an old-fashioned name.
And it used to be kind of like embarrassing when I was growing up to have that as a middle name.
So, I've kind of owned it at this point.
You own it now.
I own it now.
What made the difference? How were you able to own it?
I think it's just maturity, just getting older, you know, and kind of recognizing that as a part of me.
And it's also a nice part of me, because it's somebody who I never met, but who was very important to my mom, took care of her.
So, I like that part of it, you know, so it's kind of just owning all of your parts.
I think that's what happens as you age, you know.
So, Ellen, there's a piece about you, there's a piece about your environment that you're working in here, in LA.
How has that come about in your life?
Have you always been this peaceful, or has it been what's been happening for you?
That's interesting.
I mean, I do get that feedback.
I think it's, I've always, I think, been perceived as a calm person, or maybe as a peaceful person, I'm not sure.
But that's more my, again, like my more mature self, my more recent self, you know, I would say in the last 20 years, let's say.
So, struggling to figure out who you are, that was a long journey for me.
I didn't start off knowing I was going to be a therapist, or going in that direction at all.
I didn't know what I wanted to do.
I ended up, I went to art school.
I became a carpenter.
I did a lot of different things before I decided to become a therapist.
Yeah.
And I learned to express myself, and it was part of my journey of figuring out who I was.
And so I think the peacefulness that you're talking about has come, you know, in the last period of my life so far, my life up to this point.
And not only therapy, but continuing to learn more about the connection between the body, and the mind, and the spirit, and, you know, and the emotions like that whole, the whole being.
I feel like the world keeps opening up more mysteries, but more answers at the same time, like questions and answers keep coming.
It's like when I was 40 years old, I wrote a monologue, which I presented for my friends at a gathering for my birthday.
And it was all about, you know, my life, and my thoughts, and my struggles.
And I was a therapist at that time, but I was working in an agency and dealing with domestic violence.
And I had wanted, you know, I was thinking about having a child.
I didn't have a child yet.
I was kind of in a lot of, like, not knowing who I was, but I was really articulating the process in this monologue that I did.
And it was like, that's 20 years ago.
And I feel like so many new things have come since then.
So many new awarenesses.
I've been studying Buddhism for, like, 12 years now, you know, in a fairly concerted way.
And that's made a big difference in my life, too, in terms of recognizing what really creates unhappiness.
What is that for you?
Well, wanting to be other than who you are.
Wanting things to be other than how they are.
Wanting others to be different than they are.
Wanting things that you don't have and not wanting what you have.
I was learning, like, you know, rather than always wanting things to be different or being critical of myself for being who I was in all many ways.
I wanted to be the big change person.
I wanted to be the world changer in the big way.
But what I'm good at is this.
Oh, yeah.
And so that's what I have to give.
And that's my skill and my talent and my essence, really.
So, okay, it's interesting because this is this.
I know.
It's so satisfying to sit with somebody and feel the changes happening gradually just over time.
And I feel it and I'm part of it.
I'm not making it happen.
I'm part of the facilitating or the being with somebody as they change.
As they become empowered, as they learn about themselves, as they let go of old hurts and pain.
I love that.
So your dream and vision of wanting to change the world, it's coming to pass.
