I need you to tell me how this happened.
What? There's photographers.
Look, does this look like dancing to you?
It's just a little bit of me being me.
No, Albert, this is you being a lot of bit of something
that you don't ever need to be again.
Just one dance.
No! One dance, one look, one kiss.
That's all we get, Albert.
Just one shot to make the difference between happily ever after
and, oh, he's just some guy I went to something with once.
All right?
What?
You said kiss.
Is that a problem?
No, it's not a problem, but I don't know.
This is Allegra Cole we're talking about here.
Albert, 8 out of 10 women believe that the first kiss
will tell them everything they need to know about a relationship.
And believe me, she has definitely thought about it.
She has?
Oh, of course.
Not that she's going to act on it, so it's no real big deal.
Oh, well, it's no real big deal then.
It's a very big deal, Albert.
Huge, monumental.
You are not listening.
I need you to wrap your head around this.
Tomorrow night, Allegra Cole could have her last first kiss.
All right, just come on, just show me what you got.
What do you mean?
Just show me how you would kiss me.
But I wouldn't kiss you.
I'm not me, I'm Allegra.
No, you're really not.
Okay, okay, Albert, it's the end of the night.
You're dropping me off at home, show me the magic.
Yeah, I'm really not comfortable with this.
Oh, my God, Albert, I have just had such a wonderful time with you.
How about those nicks, huh?
Okay, you see what I'm doing?
All right, this is a signal, okay?
I'm filling with my keys, all right?
A woman that doesn't want to kiss, takes her key out,
puts it in the door, goes in the house.
A woman that wants to kiss, she fiddles.
Okay, I'm a fiddler.
I had a really nice night tonight.
You see what I'm doing?
Robbing me?
No.
See, this is what most guys do.
They rush in to take the first kiss.
But you're not most guys.
See, the secret to a kiss is to go 90% of the way,
and then hold.
For how long?
As long as it takes for her to come the other 10.
Okay, 90-10.
I think I got it.
All right.
Okay, come on, shake it all.
It's your turn.
90-10.
I really had a nice time tonight.
I had a nice time tonight too, Allegra.
That's a nice beard.
What?
What's up?
I'm not feeling it.
But it came 90.
Well, I'm just not feeling like you want it.
Look, look, look.
I am Allegra Cole, the woman of your dreams.
The woman whose green eyes are limping pools of desire.
Now, show me the magic, Allegra.
What the hell is that?
Show me the magic.
I said, you come 90 and I come 10.
Don't go the whole hundred, Albert.
My mouth was open over eager son of a...
Other than that, how was it?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
The moon.
The unicorn.
The sun.
