Die
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Two
Five
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Waaaaaa
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Fuck!
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Stand clear of the closing doors, please.
no
fuck
oh whoa, watch where you're going
Oh, I'm sorry!
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on!
Hey, Joyce!
Morning, handsome.
Uh, so I'm running a little late right now. I'm really sorry about that.
Late? You do know it's Wednesday, right?
Wednesday to seven?
No, I'm not...
Shit.
Your meeting with Charlie is seven days from now, on the 14th.
Yeah, okay, I'll see you next Wednesday then.
Bye, Josh.
So, I had amazing sex with a beautiful woman last night.
Really?
Okay, I'm listening, do tell.
Well, it was amazing at the time, but I woke up to an empty bed.
Wait, okay, so she split before you got up?
Oh, I get it.
It was a vivid and magical dream that woke up in solo.
Pleasure.
Fuck off, G.
Oh, welcome to my world, man. Calm down.
Another round, guys?
Yes, absolutely.
Thanks, Sue.
Oh, hey, what's up, sweetie?
What's this?
What?
A very attractive Asian female just sat at the end of the bar.
Can I look?
No, no, no, not yet.
I just told you not to look.
God, don't look.
Look, and she's actually reading a book in a bar
and not checking her social media like every other basic bitch on this planet.
Exactly.
Really?
Look, are you even listening to me right now?
What?
Yes.
No.
Nothing.
I wonder what a beautiful woman like that reads anyway.
You know, I have no idea, but I'm going to go check for you.
What?
Or not?
God, could you be more obvious?
Can I get a...
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I know what you're thinking.
I got writing to do.
How are you going to write with a buzz?
All my best stuff's written with a buzz.
I've only had like two beers.
Bullshit.
And what has the magical Woody Allen written this month?
Ladies and gentlemen, belligerent Graham has decided to join us.
Woody Allen.
Okay, fine.
Seriously.
You're more like an Ed Burns?
Ed Burns.
Can we wrap this up?
Yeah, sure.
Okay.
Thank you, Josh.
Seriously, Graham?
What?
Can't you just get a wallet like everyone else?
It's fucking money.
Take it.
Whatever, douchebag.
Get the fuck out of my bar.
Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me.
I hope you use the condom.
He definitely not a first.
Love you too, Josh.
How's the writing coming, bud?
Fan fucking tastic.
Yeah?
I haven't had dry pads like this since my divorce.
Yeah, well, she was a total bitch anyway, so.
Fucking A.
I'm glad you escaped that one somewhat painless, though.
Honestly.
Painless?
Yeah.
Dude, she was my high school sweetheart.
A lot of years were burned there.
No worries.
Onto bigger and better things, right, buddy?
I just need something, man.
I'm not inspired.
Who knows?
Maybe a hot little muse will simply appear.
See, now you're talking, okay?
Sex is always super inspiring to, like, the mind or soul.
Well, what are you, a fucking poet now?
Hey, how's my favorite writer?
Don't ask him.
Hey, Sue, how come we never hugged up?
Well, let's see.
You had me over for an amazing home-cooked meal.
We drank.
Do you want any more?
Yeah, sure.
Of course.
There.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry.
No, no worries.
You're fine.
No worries.
We laughed, we kissed, and that was it.
Yeah, but...
You totally could have, you know.
You see?
You would have just not wind and dine every chick you take out.
You could have pasted that.
Seriously?
It's true.
I gotta work on my game.
You fucking think?
I'm not taking pointers from a guy who lost his virginity to a cougar and a jersey bar.
Monica.
Oh, my God, she had the most outstanding set of...
Hi, coma.
Really?
Anyway, what was the name of that chick you met from Seattle during the Super Bowl last year?
Justina.
Sue, you gotta hear this one.
Get over here.
Oh, so does this one have a happy ending?
You have no idea.
All right, all right, all right.
All right, this is only coming out because we've had some beers, okay?
Okay.
All right, so about a month ago, I got this random text from this girl, Justina.
Who I met at Seattle at the Super Bowl.
I swear I could live in this shower.
Yeah, it's definitely an unusual October in New York.
I don't miss Seattle, though.
So what brought you out here?
My lack of inspiration was being noted in my paintings, so I decided to finish my last semester here.
Yeah, there's definitely a creative energy here.
It's just not working for me right now.
I guess we both desired a little stimulation.
I guess you could say that.
Just so you know, I'm a little bit sweaty.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay, hold up.
So you got this hot chick going down on you, and the only thing on your mind is to mention that you have a salty fucking dick.
Hey, I thought you'd want a shower first.
But didn't you go down on her, right?
I got no problem with that.
You're a definite keeper, Josh.
Yeah, salty and cute, let me tell you.
Okay, can we get back to the writing dilemma, please?
Can I maybe talk now?
I may have a few things to say about my day, you know?
I do talk a lot.
Yeah, you never shut the fuck up.
Okay, let's do this.
Yeah, I've got nothing.
Gotta stop drinking my way through this.
Relax, man.
Whenever you're meant to write something or do something, it will just bleed onto the page like it's supposed to.
Yeah, well, I hope the hemorrhaging starts soon because my deadline's next week.
Okay.
So then let's wrap this up.
Let's get out of here.
Get back to work.
Sue, check, babe.
You guys ready?
Yep.
Really, Graham?
What?
Just keep your fucking money and buy yourself a fucking wallet.
Um, this is a real fucking wallet.
It has multi-uses.
I can put food in it when I'm not paying for shit.
Whatever.
Bye, Sue.
Oh, your boys are fucking pathetic.
Josh!
Open up!
Go away!
Wanna grab breakfast?
Haha.
Perfect.
So many locks, Jesus Christ.
Uh, coffee.
Yes, please.
You know this one was my favorite, right?
That one paid a lot of bar tabs.
So, it's a new project.
It's a script, not a novel.
Well, after my publisher saw my last novel turn into a movie of the week,
they figured I should do some feature material.
So, as long as it's not downgraded to some shitty web series,
Graham's got no problem with that.
If it is, please shoot me in the face.
Oh, I will blow your fucking brains out if it does.
Trust me.
Ah, so this is where the mystery fuck went down, huh?
Oh, here it is, right?
It is.
It is, right?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
So, Tyler, he is on a plane to LA and sent his apologies.
I need to reschedule your leave for early next month.
No way, I was just putting the finishing touches on it.
Josh, don't worry.
Raider's block comes and goes.
Your talent will pull you through this.
Three week extension, baby.
Throw the laptop out the window. Let's go.
Hey.
You should just go over and talk to her.
But you know me.
Look, relax, man, okay?
Women love a confident guy.
Especially a good-looking one.
So, go over there.
Alright, go.
Down it, princess.
You ready?
I'm sorry, I just wanted to...
I saw that you were regular here and I wanted to introduce myself.
I know who you are.
I just thought you'd never come over.
I'm Melanie.
We know each other?
Not exactly.
Oh my god.
Are you serious?
This is what you've been reading?
Guilty.
Wait.
So that means you're kind of stalking me, then.
Well, I just say I come in here a lot and usually with my face buried in a book.
But I found out who you were a few days ago.
Okay, wow.
So, no judging on the poor character development in this one, okay?
It definitely needed a woman's perspective on the female's character,
but overall, pretty solid writing.
Okay, that's fair.
But the whole bedroom scene, I mean, really?
Who does that?
What? It's from, you know, my experiences and...
I'm kidding.
Cute and a sense of humor.
Do you want a drink?
Yes, I would love a drink.
So, am I amused now?
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
