Hello? Can you hear me? Is everything set up? Are you ready to go? All right.
Welcome to OTS. It's a new year. Enjoy!
Hey, I remember you. How, uh, how are you doing?
Oh no, oh no, oh god, I don't remember this person's name. We had class together once, or did we live on the same floor?
Oh man, I don't want to be that person that forgets people's names.
Relax, I got this. Wait, what? I'm your idea of a perfect self, and I'm here to help you through this crisis.
Oh, thank you. What do I do?
Well, you could reintroduce yourself. People forget each other's names all the time.
Yeah, that makes sense.
But, you already said it yourself. You don't want to be that guy who forgets people's names. So don't be. Fake it till you make it. Keep cruising along in the conversation, and you'll be okay. Just keep it cool, and your future will be bright enough for these shades. Feel me?
Yeah, I think I could do that.
Hey, I'm doing fine. But it sounds like you're the one that's not having a good time.
Wait, what?
You're waiting for someone, right?
Yeah, yeah. They're running a bit late as all. It's not too big a deal.
I have a couple friends like that. They're always late. I understand.
By the way, how have you been since the last time I saw you? Since we're in the same…
Don't mess it up, don't mess it up.
Oh, yeah, yeah. We had that one class earlier. Math 110.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
They forgot us? Do you remember anything from that class?
Something, something derivatives.
Me neither.
So, how have things been then?
You know, it's cool.
Yeah, I feel ya.
Hey, you ready to go?
Good job. Let's get out of here before he realizes that we never used his name.
Hi, I'm Kristen, Joey's friend.
Hey, this is perfect. They're gonna exchange names. Pay attention.
I'm…
Oh, it's late!
We missed it!
Are you sure you didn't catch it?
It's late.
What?
Actually, I'm going to get out, head out now. It was really nice meeting you guys.
Okay.
All right, it's fine. We just need to wait for them to get out of here, shot, and get that name from Kristen. We're saved.
So, uh, yeah.
I've already forgotten his name.
Why are we even friends with her?
Yeah.
Was it important that I remembered his name?
No, no, no. I guess not.
Okay. Let's go.
Yeah.
Let's go.
Hey, it's Keith Smoozer. We're on the spot. We're gonna go up to random people and put them on the spot.
Ask them if they like to produce, write, act, and edit.
Let's go.
Would you like to sign up?
Okay. All right. Y'all have a good day.
Sign up, man.
Yeah.
Okay.
Do you like movies? Do you like television?
Yes, please.
Do you like comedy?
Yeah.
Sign up for this in the next case.
Okay.
All right.
All right, so social we've had a teacher.
Okay.
Yeah.
Awesome.
Yeah.
Hey.
Are either of you two interested in family or television?
Or comedy? Any of us?
No, no, no, no.
No.
No.
Right here.
I like it for us.
Thank you very much.
Good luck.
Yeah.
Anyone have any level?
Come join us.
We don't have this one.
You don't deserve that.
You don't deserve that.
You deserve that.
If you all want to sign up,
we're at our mail list.
What's up, Michael?
It's something you might produce.
Right.
Okay, ready?
All right, yeah.
It's fun stuff, man.
Yeah, do you guys have great ideas?
Or do you just like to be behind the camera
and just do it?
Yeah.
Cool.
Here we go.
Thank you.
You
You
You
There you go.
Oh, thanks, Ben.
No problem.
Can I see the spray?
Yeah.
Hey, can I grab the punch thing?
Yeah, sure.
Thanks, Ben.
There you go.
Welcome to the Bradford Show.
Today we have a special guest,
Matt Damon,
who has a new movie coming out soon.
Hi.
Thanks for having me.
Glad to be here.
So, how have you been lately?
I've been doing really well.
Matt's doing great, and so are my children.
I couldn't be happier.
Yeah, sure.
So, what's your movie about?
Oh, okay.
Well, it's about this guy that goes to space
and gets stuck on the Mars, and he has to...
Oh, that's a fantastic story.
Do you think it would be a movie
I would enjoy because, you know,
the main actor in your movie,
he doesn't make very good movies, in my opinion.
But that's me.
Mm-hmm.
I guess you would like this movie.
I mean, it's quite compelling.
Do you find
me compelling?
Because I think I would be great in your movie.
I mean, come on!
The movie's already out.
Can't you just pull the movie out
and reshoot it?
Well, speaking of reshoots,
we had to do some reshoots
because of the technical difficulties.
But we actually
have a clip with us, right?
Why don't you play it?
Wait, wait, wait. Before you do.
I have to ask you a question.
What? Seriously?
Yeah. Am I in this clip?
You're not even in the movie!
Mm. That's a shame.
So, I heard you bought
a new house in LA.
Yeah, I got a five-bedroom house.
It was a beautiful garden,
and there's like a swimming pool, including...
You have a pool?
Like, with water?
Yeah, why?
You do know we're
in a drought, right?
I mean, there's no water in California.
Yeah, well...
I brought it from Mars.
Wait.
So, your movie's based on a true story?
What? No.
I was making a joke.
Because they found water on Mars,
and I went there, in the movie.
But, according
to my two million followers
on Twitter,
people are claiming this was a true story.
I was trying to be funny.
The movie's not even real.
It's based off a book.
Yeah, here's a joke.
What is an Academy Award-winning actor
Matt Damon and a unicorn
have in common?
They both don't exist!
Man, I'm so funny.
Whoo!
This is my second time you're playing an astronaut.
Hey, maybe if you give yourself some
space,
maybe you'd grow as an actor.
You might win an Oscar.
Oh, yeah, I'm on fire!
You're a genius.
Oh, God.
You know what's really a good joke?
This show!
Yeah, he's a bit of a jerk, huh?
Yeah, he's kind of full of himself.
Hmm, that's probably why he moved to LA.
Anyways, folks,
that's all the time we have.
Make sure to follow me on Facebook,
Snapchat, MySpace, and YouTube.
Don't forget to give me five stars on Yelp,
and also, don't forget to check out
my brand new show on E Network.
Cheaping up with Bradford.
Goodnight, folks!
Whoo!
Man, I fucking love that Gio.
I mean, it's pretty chill.
Dude, do you see, like, the
MTV Cribs the other day?
It was good, homies.
Y'all ready to ride these punk-ass bulls?
Yeah, I guess.
Y'all ready to claim us some new territory?
I mean, sure.
I guess.
Well, let's go!
Man, I'm gonna catch so many bodies today.
Three hands.
Yeah, I feel that. I feel that, dog.
I feel that. All right. Okay, Google now.
Man, what are you doing?
Man, I just got one of these new smartphones.
Oh, check this out.
I can even look up a picture of his house.
Man, even his house looks like.
Man.
Okay, Google now.
Take me to faux, 80-faux.
Man, this thing already knows.
Man, it knows exactly what I want to do.
Uh, put on some music
so, like, I can get ready to, like,
careful.
Yeah. Hi.
Checking yourself. I said it myself.
I don't want to fucking heal.
Head northeast on Anthony Street toward Laurent Street.
In 500 feet, turn right onto Laurent Street.
There she is again.
Turn right onto Laurent Street.
Then turn left onto King Street.
Dude, this lady's a burn.
I'm a lady on the phone telling you instructions.
I don't even have a phone.
I got a danger.
Dude, one more diamond.
I'm shooting this. I'm shooting this phone.
One more diamond.
Turn left onto Mission Street.
I said I'm going to throw it out the window.
I'm going to throw it out the window.
Don't touch my phone.
You have arrived.
Oh, hey, my bad fellas.
I thought we were on
484 Alameda, but
we on
484.
Why the hell we outside this Vietnamese restaurant?
My bad, dude.
Let me just back up real quick.
I'm going to get out of here.
Hold up a second, Humps. I'm kind of hungry.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
We ain't doing that.
Now that I think about it, I'm kind of hungry.
No, dude, we ain't got time for that.
We got things we got to do, all right?
I think we better get some
pho.
All right, we'll get some pho real quick.
All right.
We're good guys. No more stops.
All right, we're going to go shoot this guy.
I get it.
All right.
Wait, hold up.
I think I got to go pee.
No, man.
You're not going, Pete.
You should have gone. We're inside the restaurant.
All right.
I think you better let me go pee.
Okay.
Real quick, five minutes.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
All right, enough.
I've had it with you guys.
Are you guys not down with the set anymore?
You guys don't want to kill this guy anymore?
Honestly, man,
I don't feel safe with you in the car.
What?
What are you guys talking about?
I'm not with it, man.
I'm trying to get into architecture.
I'm already going to look good on my resume.
Yeah, I'm trying to become a singer.
A singer?
Theo, I've never heard you sing before.
Holy night.
There you go.
What the heck is that?
I think you should leave.
Yeah, I think we should get out of the car.
I should get out of the car.
I should get out of my own car.
I guess.
You know what? I'm not getting out of my own car.
I think we should get out of the car.
Man, all right.
You guys...
Wait, hold on.
I want your sweater, too.
Are you for real?
You're going to take my sweater?
Yeah.
That's a pretty cool sweater, man.
Yeah.
You want my fucking sweater?
Oh, hey.
That's a cool tank top, too.
Yeah, we want your tank top.
Yeah, I'm going to take your tank top.
You're going to make me walk home with no shirt on.
Yeah.
You can see my love handles and everything.
I guess.
That's your problem, man. You should have taken care of that.
You guys...
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