This is a story of drugs and alcohol and pregnancy.
Before you judge harshly, this is also a story of courage and telling the truth.
These women could have remained silent.
Instead, they chose to share their stories so other mothers and children may have healthier
lives.
If you are a mother with substance abuse issues, there is help in San Luis Obispo County.
You know, I was young when it all started.
A couple kids and I that hung out at school, we started drinking, taking a couple beers
here and there from our parents and it just started a ripple of getting bigger and bigger
and bigger.
And by the time I was 20, I was an everyday user of meth.
When I was 13, I started using with my family members and I stopped going to school and
I just started using every day and it became my main focus in life.
Well, I started smoking cigarettes like most teens do and then I started smoking marijuana.
My parents smoked marijuana and then a boyfriend started doing meth and I wanted to try it.
And that was it from there.
Meth and vitamins is very hard to come clean from.
It was always on my mind.
I couldn't give it up.
There was no way I could give it up without going through some sort of treatment.
So I got pregnant in the middle of my addiction and in the middle of my homelessness.
I was couch hopping and stayed in storage trailers and stuff like that.
Me and my boyfriend, my daughter and the baby I was pregnant with, we were living in our
car in his grandma's driveway.
I was drinking a lot, fighting a lot, just trying to come up at a nothing basically.
I was drinking to get drunk pretty much every night, mostly hard liquor.
I was at the bar most of the time, pregnant.
It came to the point where I was sitting at the end of my bed one day and I had been doing
meth for about five days straight and I was smoking pot and I was sitting there thinking,
you know, I'm six months pregnant and I just, I felt horrible about that and I was getting
ready to be homeless again.
And so I knew I had to go somewhere because I was going to lose my kids and so I went
to my best friend's house and we called the women's shelter for abused women because
I had nowhere to go.
For a mother who's pregnant and is an addict, that is a very, very difficult situation to
be in.
It's shameful, they're embarrassed, they don't know how to stop.
You know, no matter what, your brain and your body just wants you to do it.
Even though you know that you shouldn't or that you don't want to, you still do.
I don't know why.
How can you not stop using even for your baby?
It's hard.
It's hard to stop using.
It's hard to stop using when you're pregnant.
It's hard to stop using at any time unless you're getting the recovery and support that
you need.
For me, it was always, oh, just this one more hit or, oh, I'll just smoke this one time
and then tomorrow I'll quit and then tomorrow I'll quit.
Just a little bit more and tomorrow I'll quit.
That's the hardest part is, yes, I'm pregnant, but tomorrow I'll quit, tomorrow I'll quit,
but tomorrow never comes.
The hardest thing about addiction is most people feel like you can stop.
You realize you have a problem and you just quit.
The reality of addiction is that your body has reached a point where just to feel normal,
you have to use drugs.
So to stop means you're not going to feel normal anymore and it's very difficult to
quit.
What are the risks when pregnant women use drugs or drink alcohol?
There are a lot of risks.
Alcohol by far is the one people hear about.
It's very damaging.
It affects brain development.
It affects neurological development and also the chaos of the addicted environment.
So when we're in our active addiction, we're living in chaotic environments and that affects
our children and it affects the fetus.
She had a heartening of her heart, she had a heart murmur and it caused a bleed in the
right side of my baby's brain.
She also was born with cerebral palsy.
She was in hospital for two months.
Right now when he doesn't take naps during the day, I wonder if it's because I did meth
until I was 22 weeks pregnant.
You know, when he's fussy and cranky, I wonder if it's because I did meth.
Everything will have sensory problems, meaning light, too much light will be hard on them.
It can be auditory, loud noises can be hard for them to integrate and they will be very
fussy and irritable.
They have a hard time with impulse control, so the minute they want to do something, they
do it.
They don't think about cause and effect and all of that is part of the brain development
while they're in utero.
By the time you see the effects, you're pregnant again and may be still using.
So people will say, well, my baby was just fine, you're not seeing the results yet because
you don't see it until they develop and have these behaviors and you think, oh, there it
is.
My older two have ADHD, my third, the one that was exposed to the most drugs and exposed
to a world of drugs the most.
He's been physically, emotionally, mentally damaged by my addiction.
We go to a lot of therapy, which is to help with her physical issues.
All my kids were born with 10 toes, 10 fingers and were beautiful, but the underlying issue
is what you've done to their brain and to their nervous system and to how they can
actually deal with everyday life.
You might not see it at the first couple of months, you might not see it the first couple
of years, but eventually you'll see it and it's sad because they never asked for this
and they have to deal with it.
I just want women to be able to get the help while they're pregnant so that they can have
a good pregnancy.
They can bring their children into the world safe and the child doesn't have to live in
a drug infested atmosphere any time.
Just get help, don't hurt your baby because your baby's going to be the one that pays
for it.
Get prenatal care.
If you're pregnant, don't let your addiction stop you from taking care of your baby while
you're pregnant.
A lot of people are afraid that if they ask for help with their addiction that they will
have their children removed and that's not necessarily the case.
If you're not harming your child, if you come in and say I have an addiction and I need
help, this is where you will get the help and no one will come and take your children
because of that.
Without treatment, it's this cycle of using and relapsing and trying to get clean, not
having a sober place to live, come into drug and alcohol services, we'll do an intake and
we get it.
If there's no judgment, come in and ask for help.
There are people ready to provide services for you.
Today, all of the women are very proud to say that they are clean and sober.
They ask for help and receive treatment from drug and alcohol services of San Luis Obispo
County.
Four days a week, they attend group therapy in a program called POG, Paranatal Outpatient
Extended Group.
POG is treatment that's designed specifically for mothers with children or pregnant mothers.
It's all women, so they're all sharing the same struggles with their babies and they're
trying to be a mom and be in recovery, so we're doing both things at once and that's
huge.
POG is for women who have an addiction with children from zero to five and our kids get
help and we get help and we're a group of women that can support one another along with
having a therapist to help us out as well.
We have a playroom, so we have childcare, we have transportation so that we can come
get you and bring you to POG and so we touch on recovery, we touch on parenting, we touch
on relationship issues, we kind of do everything and just meet the mother right where she's
at.
POG has given me incredible support system.
I know how to live sober and cope with my feelings and my anger and my anxiety and it's
given me the backbone I need to stand.
It's everything right now.
In addition to group therapy, the program offers choices, a transitional living center
for women and children.
Choices allows mothers with substance abuse problems to reunify with their children while
participating in their own treatment.
A team of professionals skilled in child development, parent education, mental health and substance
abuse recovery provide 24-hour support.
Choices is a residential house, so it's a chance to have your child with you and live
in a safe environment, no drugs, no alcohol, no chaos and it's a place to live where there's
other moms doing the same thing and it's focused on recovery and learning new skills.
Choices taught me a lot about how to have structure for my family, so I'm just grateful
for choices as well.
It saved my children, it helped me stay clean, it taught me how to be a good mom.
POG is very successful.
One of the reasons it's successful is it's a very supportive environment.
You're with people who are going through the same thing and they support one another.
POG is about a year, can be longer if you need and during that time you get to work
through so many issues in your life and during that time you're in a supportive environment.
It tends to be very successful.
You're not alone and you don't have to be ashamed and there are people out there that
really, really want you to get better and to help you with your addiction.
San Luis Obispo County Drug and Alcohol Services offers several programs which provide quality
comprehensive treatment for individuals with substance abuse issues.
To learn more about POG or other programs, call 805-781-4275.
It's never too late to get prenatal care for your baby and to get started on your life
as a clean and sober parent.
Thank you.
