Oh, hi there. Welcome to the first episode of Hello from New Zealand. You know, many
of you have written in with questions about New Zealand and we thought it might be fun
to kick things off by answering a few of those questions right here on the show, live, here,
on the show. Let's take a look, shall we?
Mike C. from Hoboken, New Jersey writes, Dear Nick, we'd really like to come visit you
in New Zealand, but we don't know where it is. How the heck do you get there? Well, Mike,
that's an easy one.
Finding New Zealand is easy. Getting there is the hard part. You have three options.
Option number one, talk to Sal. Take the path trained to 33rd Street and transfer to the
uptown A.C.E. Get off at 42nd Street Times Square and head up to the surface. On the
corner of 49th and 7th Ave, there's a famous original raised pizzeria. Go inside and ask
for Sal. Order one slice of the kiwi special. Marmite, beetroot, and tasty cheese. Then
paper your order entirely with nickels and save the secret words. Sal will take care
of the rest.
Option number two, mail yourself. Find yourself a good sturdy box and some duct tape. Climb
in the box, shut the box, call FedEx to arrange pickup. Express delivery will get you there
faster, but it's a waste of money. Just pay the cheapest rate possible and be sure to
take plenty of snacks.
Option number three, fly on a plane. That's it. Just fly on a plane. Eventually, you will
get there.
Let's look at another one. Chris from Harrington Park, New Jersey writes, Hey Nick, what's
the deal with Cricut? Is it like baseball? Well Chris, Cricut is like baseball, but
it's a bit more complicated. So for a better explanation, let's talk to a local.
So Cricut, two teams, batters, bowlers, fielders. You've got to have good weather. You've got
the wickets, then you've got the googly's. They rub it on their groins. Three like wooden
stumps. Yeah, there's the bowl and they throw it underarm. There's lots of drinking. It just,
it goes on and on for three weeks. I don't know. What is the sex?
Well, I'd say we all have a much clearer understanding of Cricut now. I know that I do. Let's take
a look at another one, shall we?
AJ from Philadelphia writes, Hey Nick, I heard a rumor that the cars in New Zealand drive
on the wrong side of the road. Is this true? Well AJ, that's a great question. We sure
are getting some good ones today. Yes, it's true. In New Zealand, we do drive on the wrong
side of the road. That is to say the left side of the road, which is neither the right
side nor the correct side of the road. Interestingly enough, we also drive on the wrong side of
the car. It takes some getting used to. I'm pretty much awesome at it. At first, I started
out slow and now I know it by heart. Of course, there was that one time.
Let's take a look at one final letter. This one's from my mom. She says, Hi Nick, I know
you moved to New Zealand to work in the film industry. So have you ever met Sir Peter Jackson?
P.S., you were always my favorite. Well mom, who do you think directs my videos? It's going
to have to be pretty bloody good. Well, that's all for episode one of Hello from New Zealand.
Join us next time when we ask the question, Vegemite or Marmite? We also take a look
at tasty cheese. What makes it so tasty? In the meantime, you remain classy, Americans.
Ah man. Ah, piece of c*****.
That's all for episode one of Hello from New Zealand.
