But that has been a source of some concern and fear and worry is that oh boy as this
goes you know I'm okay now up until recently you know I can handle my own stuff I can be
independent but there's going to come a time when I'm not going to be able to and that's
when I will really really not like to be alone like this and so that's probably been my major
fear. We wanted her to have what she wanted and that was to be at home but without 24-7 in a
two-story apartment on the kinds of medications it requires to keep these people out of pain
they cannot be alone.
The potential for having a home where a person could comfortably with 100% security allow
themselves to make this transition is it would be a dream. I think a community-sponsored home
is so needed here we have a lot of patients that do not want to die in an institution but for a
multitude of reasons cannot go home. When you're in a hospital the tendency is to be clinical what
else can we do for the patient once that decision is made you need to transition from that what
else can we do from the patient clinically to what else can we do for the person from a
humanitarian point of view from a comfort point of view from a family point of view and that's
what I see the value of this home being.
The number one response that I typically get when giving a tour of someone from the outside is oh
wow it's just like a regular home and it is it's it's got a living room and a kitchen and laundry
might be happening and food might be being cooked and someone might be taking a nap or sitting out
on the porch feeding the chipmunk peanuts and it's a house it's a home there's nothing
institutionalized about it. These homes are different than hospitals or nursing homes because of the
freedom that we have our residents can eat whatever they want whenever they want our residents can
stay in a comfortable bed with their own sheets they can have their own blankets their own clothes
they can have whoever they want visit there's no specific visitor hours anyone can come at any time.
The home basically provides a very warm environment for the resident and and their family members as
well we do all the menial tasks like cooking, cleaning, any sort of family member wouldn't have to do.
This offers a community is a place also to learn about something that has become scary and something
that we don't talk about you know years ago dying happened in the home it wasn't medicalized
families were nearby it was a part of life and the dying person wasn't someone who is isolated.
I think this house would be extremely beneficial to the community here to make the community more
aware of end-of-life issues to be able to be involved with people as a volunteer to take
care of them at the end of life to kind of be a substituter surrogate family or caregiver
and to learn to be comfortable with the issues that we have the death and dying.
It's really strengthened the community but also is creating a pipeline of caregivers so you know
the community members who are doing this care are helping the students who want to become
caregivers in the future and so I think a little bit at a time it's going to make the health care system better.
It's extraordinarily global way of altering something that could be so terrible altering it
to something that could be actually what it should be is an inevitable positive experience.
I really believe that I strongly believe that. I was so nervous that this home was going to be
so sad and so dreary because it's a home for the dying but it was the complete opposite it's
such a positive place and you're not focusing on the dying you're focusing on the living and what
living they have left. I think the one thing I've learned over the years is what a precious time
this can be and what a privilege it can be to be on this journey with someone. A lot of the focus is
on on the patient's life and what they loved and who they loved not so much on on the dying part
but on the living parts. Your quality of life should extend even to its end and I think the
quality of life is improved when you have a warm environment to die. We are all going to be there
sooner or later that's the one thing about this that we we all tend to go well it's not me well
sooner or later it would be each of us. Home for the death and dying I think is it's an insemination
into the community of a different understanding of what we need to do for each other and I have
no doubt that it's going to there's going to flower.
