What do you mean a bun?
Well it was like a bap.
A bun's not a bap, a bun's not savoury.
No, a savoury bap stuffed with...
A bap is savoury.
You don't need to say savoury bap.
A bap is savoury and I had a savoury bap and it was stuffed with a nice quarter pounder.
Not, you know, not...
You like to be stuffed with a nice quarter pounder.
A quarter pounder, a meat crumbled into pieces.
A nice slice of cheese.
But a bun is sweet.
I know a bun is sweet, I'm talking about a bap.
Right, I thought you had a...
I'm talking about a savoury bap, although some baps...
No, you don't need to say a savoury bap.
A bap is savoury.
Right, alright, alright, alright, alright, I thought you were saying...
Tommy Kane a bap.
Oh, don't.
Perfect.
I don't, I don't like it.
No, I tell you what it does.
It's got an acid in it, that stuff,
and when it does it starts to eat away at you.
It doesn't have fucking acid in it.
Of course it does.
Acid in a bap?
Yeah, it's got an acid, it's got...
Hey, it's got...
Not in a bap, in the sauce.
It's got an acidity regulator,
normally vitamin...
What is an acidity regulator?
I think that's a guy.
No, it's...
No.
What do you mean it's a guy?
What's that supposed to be?
I don't know, like the government's acidity regulator.
Oh, no, no, no.
An acidity regulator is a part of the ingredients.
If you look on the back of a packet,
it'll say it's got an acidity regulator.
No, I don't think so.
And anyway, what it does is
it has an effect on the bread.
It sort of eats into it,
and then it's all broken down,
and it becomes sort of a bit glossy.
And I don't like it.
What becomes glossy?
The bread.
The other side of that bap.
You don't like your glossy bread?
Well, you must have had that.
Glossy bread?
Well, no, I won't say.
No, you mean...
No, no, you know...
I don't check the underside of my bap.
If I'm having a quarter-pounder,
I pop on the Tommy K.
Oh, no, that's a mistake.
Eat the bap.
I don't call it a bap.
We don't call it baps.
Baps is tits,
are you aware of that?
Well...
I think that's just...
A roll.
A roll.
It's not a roll.
It is a roll.
No, it's not, mate.
It is.
Flight sausage in a roll.
A roll is for your ham and cheese sandwich,
a bap is for a burger,
and what's it, a submarine roll,
is for your sausages.
I don't know what that is.
You don't know what it is.
A submarine roll.
You know what a submarine roll is?
It's like a long roll.
A baguette.
No, it's not a baguette.
A baguette's got sort of quite a hard coating to it.
What do you mean, a coating?
Okay, it's not...
Well, it is a coating,
because what they've basically done
is they've taken a normal submarine roll in effect.
They've basted it with some sort of...
It's about that long.
So a bap's about that.
No, a baguette.
Let's do that.
No, you can't do a baguette.
A baguette will go there,
and then there.
A baguette's there.
A half baguette comes to there,
and a nice submarine roll will be there,
but what they've done with the baguette...
Yeah, that's it.
A submarine roll there.
Short and stubby.
What they've done...
What they've done is they've coated that
with some sort of batter olive oil,
and it gives it a really quite firm crust.
Olive oil on a what?
On a baguette?
No, no, no.
Oh, yes.
No, no.
There's no olive oil on a baguette.
Whatever it may be.
There's nothing on a baguette.
It's just bread, which has been heated up
so much it's got a crust.
It's not olive oil.
That can't be right, mate,
because you get soft rolls.
No, no, seriously.
You...
No, no.
I know.
Let's ask a baker.
Oh, I'm not doing that.
Yeah.
I'm not getting out of this car to ask a baker
the difference between a baguette and a roll.
I know what the difference is,
and it's not to do with the heat.
It's to do with what you put on the bread
in the first place.
We could drive to a bakery.
I'm not driving to a bakery.
Call a baker.
Nah, I've got one.
Yeah, go on.
Just call one.
Nah, fuck it.
I'm not driving to a bakery.
