Oh yes, Gunther Deadman here.
This is the basement sublet of horror of course.
I just want to make a little announcement before we begin.
I've received a few emails that have disturbed me greatly.
It seems that people out there in Viewerland have turned my little quirk of saying the
word anyway into a drinking game.
So in other words, any time I say the word anyway, people are taking a drink.
And since I say the word anyway many times throughout the course of the show, well you
get the idea.
I'm appalled by this.
You should cease this practice immediately.
I do not encourage you to drink.
I also do not encourage you to drink and drive.
I would appreciate you if you would stop this practice now.
Please, thank you.
Ah, hello my friends and welcome to the basement sublet of horror.
I am your host Gunther Deadman and tonight it's the Wild Women of Wonga.
Oh yes, not science fiction, not horror.
But again, a horrible movie, horrible, a horrible counts doesn't it?
Well in my book it does.
So oh, and well, this movie is so bad, I'm going to make a point to you tonight and I'm
going to show you the end of the movie first and I can prove to you how bad it is by showing
you that it won't make any difference.
So here we go.
Here's the end of the movie.
We have found others, we have come to present them to the dragon god.
How do you answer to that, I will answer, almost mine, so be it.
Ah, there you see, even by showing you the ending, I don't really give anything away
because that's the mark of a bad film.
If you see the ending first and you still don't have a clue and it doesn't give away
anything, what's the difference?
So why should you watch you say, well, you should watch because it's my show and you
should always watch my show.
That's right.
Why don't you go maniac, I am.
So anyway, oh, the actors were probably really happy when they got the script for tonight's
film because, well, there's not really any dialogue in it, so they must have let out
a cheer when they read the script because we don't have to act, we don't have to say
anything.
So anyway, let's go off now and we'll see what Mother Nature has to say.
I am Mother Nature.
For millions of years, Father Time and I have worked hand in hand to make the world a better
place to live in.
We think we've done fairly well.
And we have made our mistakes.
There was one about 10,000 years ago when we tried a topsy-turvy experiment with the human
race.
At that time in a village called Wango, we made all the women beautiful and all the men
brutes.
We put all the handsome men in the tribe of Guna, many days marched to the south.
And we made the Guna girls, well, not beautiful.
And so they joined the stream of family life in the suburbs, soon to become part of its
familiar sights, soon to absorb its familiar sounds.
It didn't work.
The Wild Women of Wango.
The Wild Women of Wango.
The Wild Women of Wango.
So Jimmy's become a high school dropout.
Big deal, right?
Well, he certainly isn't alone.
More than a half million other young people will quit school this year.
But just who are these dropouts?
But don't be fooled.
Dropouts come from suburban and rural areas, as well as in any city.
And overall, four out of five dropouts are white.
You still wear your hair the way your mother combed it years ago.
You may do all right when it comes to answering questions on paper.
But you're too shy and unsure of yourself to speak up about anything.
Joe should have been looking for a trade school, which also offers a high school diploma.
Now, if you're a bill, you're six inches taller than you were last year.
And weigh in at 160 now.
You're starting to shave, a sign that you're becoming a man in more ways than size.
King of Wango, why do you come to the temple of the dragon god?
He thinks he's smart.
He thinks he's a wit.
He's really not either.
Not a bit.
The maidens of Wango are ready for marriage.
I come to ask you and the god to receive them.
No, no.
We will ask the great dragon.
Come.
Next, the boys and girls find out what a big job the engineer and custodians have to do.
Can you think of some of the things the custodians do to help your school?
He protects them, he saves his friends under the waves.
That's where you'll find Iver Dan.
I guess you've seen that sign enough times, haven't you?
Any bar or club that sells liquor by the drink or any retail store dealing in spirits or bottled
alcoholic beverages is sure to have it in a prominent place.
Button Jack went in to buy a case of beer for a picnic.
And right now they think it's pretty unfair that they can't walk into a store like anyone
else and buy liquor just because they're underage.
Oh, that's me, incidentally, Tom Ullman.
I'm a sports reporter on the city paper.
The boys want me to take their money and buy their drinks for them.
No deal.
Maybe it'd be a good idea if I told them a little something about why that sign is in the window
and why they should be glad it is there.
For anybody who fools around with this, adult or minor is playing with dynamite.
Uncle brings you the kill. It is good. His father will buy you tonight.
At the opposite end of the scale in physical development is Alan already starting to look
and act like a woman, trying out hairdos and lipsticks and fingernail polish.
If you're an Alan, you are quite at ease and confident of your place in the group.
Hey! Hey! Hey!
A stranger!
Jim earns his reputation as the class pest.
But he knows, as you know, if you're a gym, how awful it is to be practically no bigger
than you were almost two years ago, still a kid compared to Bill.
I've never seen a man from another village.
Get into the hut!
I guess you could say Paul started it all, but it wasn't all his fault, actually.
You see, he was just too good a musician for his age.
He played in dance bands with older fellas, and they taught him things he'd be better off not knowing.
Jim had the richest father in town, and Tip, well, Tip was captain of the basketball team.
Paul stayed the year before.
They saw something funny in the way their friend Paul was acting as soon as he joined them.
According to Paul, it's no fun drinking alone. He wants company.
The other boys have never tasted liquor before, so they have to be dared into it.
That first drink isn't very enjoyable, I can tell you.
It burns your insides, and it makes your eyes water.
He carries the wing of the white bird of peace.
Of course, you will compare yourself with others.
This is like a dream I've had.
If there's adventure and danger, that's where you'll find Iver Dan.
The sights that he sees are surprising and stranger than ever you'll see on the land.
Finley thinks himself a fool and wants a chance to go to school
to know what's good and what is bad, just as any other land.
It's a man, and let me know. It's a God, I'm sure.
You will notice that your classmates change in different ways and at different rates.
For example, let's look at Bill, and Gene, and Jim, and Ellen.
Fathers of Longo, my name is Engor. I come in peace.
Be in peace.
I come to speak the word to my father, King of Guna.
We will hear the words of the King of Guna.
Tip refused the drink. He said he was in training, and basketball meant too much to him.
But that isn't good enough for his friends. He has to be a sport.
You'd be surprised at how little it takes to get you tight that first time.
That's true with adults, but at high school age, even though your mind seems mature,
your body isn't, and alcohol is a violent narcotic.
My father has fear.
Fear? What gives him fear?
Well, that first night was the start. Paul, Jim, and Tip took to drinking together.
Jim's father gave him plenty of money, and Jim kept them in liquor.
There is a strange tribe of men. Some say they are like apes.
From where do the eight men come? From the sea.
No men live in the sea.
Boys, I think Finley's idea of you fish learning some of the things known above is a good idea.
But I've never been a teacher before.
We never learned anything before either, so we are even.
We have seen no eight men. We have heard of no eight men.
You know these things now. I have given you my father's words.
Why does the king of Guna wishes to know these things?
My father fears the eight men will come to Guna.
Guangou does not fear.
King of Guangou, the eight men will come, if not today at some time.
My father wishes you and all of Guangou to come to the village of Guna.
There is much food. You have brave young men, and so have we.
It is true. Our men are brave.
With your men and our men, we can kill the eight men.
We will give you the words for your father tomorrow.
Can we stay in Guangou, do you think?
If I can find a way to keep him.
What way can there be?
I know a way. Don't even say that.
The dragon god will be angry.
I would keep him, even if that happened.
Let's take a field trip. The sea itself may be our school.
We'll move our class from place to place.
And I'll tell you what science has discovered.
And I'll tell you about living things in their natural habitat.
Parts of tonight's film were shot in a tourist attraction called Coral Castle.
Yes, that's the castle you see in the film.
In Homestead, Florida, and it was built by a man, I believe his name was Ed Leedskelin, something like that.
Anyway, he built it to impress a girl who broke his heart.
Yes, well, he died in 1951, and if only he could have held on for a few more years
till 1958 when the movie was shot.
Well, he could have had all these half-clad women dancing around,
but he would have had maybe a second chance. Who knows?
Yeah, you're watching the basement servilette of horror.
Yeah, the male's just arrived.
Well, any time you want me to stop this movie, you just say the word.
Oh, and by the way, let me see what this message is.
It could be something important. Let's take a look here.
Oh, my word! This is important. It's very important.
You have to see this.
We've heard lots of reasons, some of them pretty good.
At least they sound pretty good on the surface, but once in a while we fool ourselves.
We think we're doing something for one reason when another reason is a real cause.
We have been shamed. The women have shamed us before this man with a woman's skin.
But a man's body, we do not have women's faces, and I would not want one.
We are men, and if we went to Guna, we should find our women running after men like him.
As for me, I had rather fight eight men.
I have seen no eight men. Do we know that there are eight men?
Fortunately, if the troll car spotted Jim going through a stop sign,
and he has picked up on suspicion of drunk driving.
This is a trick. If the king of Guna wanted our women,
how could he get them more easily than to send his son with some wild story to get them to his village?
And we ourselves die there under Guna's spears.
That would be easy. Does anyone disagree?
I'm getting sick and tired of your attitude.
You don't even bring a pencil and a piece of paper to class. You knew we were having a test today.
Do we go to Guna? We do not go. That will be our answer.
That is wise. Is it agreed? Agreed.
I do not like to kill a man who comes with a white-haired wing.
With this man it must be.
In the morning, let us eat.
What's that guy waiting for?
Come on.
Hey, McGat!
I'll cut it out. We'll get in the jam.
What's the matter, you chicken or something?
Come on, move it!
What do you once think you're doing anyway?
What was that you called us?
I just bought that car.
Music
Oh, dragon god, protector of one goal.
Once more we send our mazes to your temple
to prepare them for marriage to our young men.
Even dates were no fun anymore without a bottle.
Music
Naturally, what the waiter is doing is reminding them that he has a sign in his front window too.
We do not serve liquor to minors, but Jim had thought of that.
There he is. He's beautiful, like the sun. Look, he's trying to pick out on me.
Music
Jim's date Judy had never tasted liquor before,
but like dope addicts, one drinker can't stand the sight of somebody not drinking.
Music
And soon, Judy catches the spirit of the thing.
Music
Have you ever thought about the times when everybody in your family
was having a good time and everybody was happy?
It's when each member of the family helps and does his share. Isn't that right?
Music
Look, maybe this thing just isn't for me.
I never thought I'd belong here anyway.
Music
Music
Do you ever have moments when your problems are so tough
you want to lash out at the world or just have a good cry?
Oh, dragon gods, this day you have been insulted by the maidens of Wango
and woe to the village.
Now they must leave us without our prayers for their protection.
Never has this happened before.
Sometimes it can be embarrassing to find that you are not conforming
or doing things in the same way as the others.
Each night, one maiden shall wait alone,
a sacrifice that the god comes. Go!
Music
The boys can't understand Judy, only two drinks and look at her,
but it's really very simple.
Tolerance for alcohol varies from person to person.
Judy is one of those on whom it acts like a deadly poison.
Music
And on someone who has never used it before, the effect is a lot more violent.
Music
My son, you have returned.
I am happy to be back in Guna.
The king of Wango received you well.
They tried to kill me with a spear as I departed.
You carried my bike, bird wing, did you kill their spearman?
I was saved.
I was saved by the women of Wango.
The women?
They are very unusual women, oh, my father.
Why? The answer lies in you.
You are different, no longer a child, not yet a grown-up.
You are changing, leaving childhood, entering adulthood.
You are shamed.
I am alive.
Music
It is good.
What about the girl?
Look at those fools, Wango women, indeed.
What do you mean unusual?
Very unusual.
Music
We've learned a good lesson today.
Music
Jim himself is a no-shaped drive.
Right now he wishes he'd taken just one less drink.
Music
Any one have an idea what this movie is going tonight?
Well, I bet it's probably taking most of you right to sleep.
And the better fact is maybe you're a little sleepy by yourself.
So if you don't mind, I'm just going to kick back here
and I'm just going to take a little nap myself.
Music
Which is read this, okay?
You are watching the basement sublet of horror public access.
Thank you.
Music
Oh yes, a little warning about the next part of our film.
Yes, I'm serious about this, a warning.
It contains an interpretive dance routine.
Yes, that's right, interpretive dance.
Anyway, yes, this kind of thing has been known to cause seizures
in some people and actually put some people into shock.
As in other people might find themselves uncontrollably embarrassed
by the gross incompetence of the dancing in this film.
So you have been warned.
Music
Ladies of Wango, the dragon god is angry.
Do you come to offer sacrifice?
These are not easy questions.
But let's see if we can find the answers.
We have awaited the god each night.
What do you have not chosen to make?
You don't even care, do you?
You're as smart as anyone else in this classroom.
That is why I have called you to the temple.
Young people are constantly studying their appearance, abilities and limitations
to see how they compare with their classmates.
And they're off on a wild non-stop ride.
Music
Music
Music
Music
Music
Music
On the surface, you know, we have many plants, trees, flowers and such.
We would like to know about sea plants.
Music
Sometimes I wish I were diver Dan.
He has the answers to most everything.
I often feel like a fool.
I'm glad I'm a fish.
People seem to have so much trouble.
I do envy them one thing.
Their vast knowledge.
That's because they have schools.
Couldn't we go to school?
Of course.
Do you think diver Dan would teach us?
With just two of you as pupils, he might be happy to tutor you.
Music
Why don't you go find diver Dan and tell him you want him to teach you?
Doc can explain your idea.
I like you just as you are, but a little wisdom is useful at times.
Music
Hey, I wonder what the Malibu Mermaid is up to right now.
Anyway.
Music
Stop, Mona. Let me go.
Oh, the god is juicy and bright.
Hello, Hermit Crabb.
Goodbye.
Music
Here's God.
I told you.
Now that's let us in the building, go back to Wango.
I'm glad it was almost.
Music
Let me go. Let me go.
You can't help.
You become the representative of God, it does not matter.
Who am I?
What kind of person do I want to be?
How can I become the person I want to be?
Music
He he he he, I'll learn him, I'll learn him, learn him.
You haven't solved the God again.
If it were the God, he would have taken the one he wanted or all of us.
I'm going to tell the king about this.
My father shall say I have acted as he would wish his daughter to act.
Music
Keep your girlish figure.
You'll be young as time goes by.
Figures never never lie.
Keep your girlish figure.
Music
Well, here I go.
Music
You know we must remain here until the God takes blood.
It is the king's command.
We have waited twice around our numbers and none has been chosen.
Tonight Mona will keep the vigil for us all.
If she is chosen, may she go with him without fear and without pain.
Without fear, without pain.
Anyway...
It's the great dragon comes and she escapes him.
This she may do.
I am not a dog, not a man.
I will walk with her to the place of waiting.
Music
Quick, get in the electrician.
Music
I've got to get in the electrician.
Electrician.
Music
Music
I've got to get in the electrician.
You know, I've got to get a magician for better.
Magician.
Music
Oh!
Music
Well, there are not so much high brows or low brows as wrinkled brows.
Music
Music
Jamie.
How's dad?
How do you know?
I heard it over the radio.
How is he?
He'll be all right.
He's resting now.
He was terribly shaken up and bruised, though.
Oh, it makes me sick to think about it.
Jamie.
I'm sorry, dad.
I'm sorry.
There's nothing for you to be sorry about, son.
It wasn't your fault.
Music
I'm all right now.
You'd better get upstairs to bed.
I'm sorry, dad.
Music
Then when somebody's told time and time again that they're stupid or slow,
they'll begin to believe it.
But the truth is, over half the students who drop out have average IQs of better.
Music
You've got to get a politician.
Music
Music
Music
Don't you think you're making a big mistake?
Look, don't worry about me.
I'll do just fine.
Music
Well, the eight men have come.
The evil men Ingo came to tell us about.
They're going to Wango.
But they might have been to Wango already.
We'll go there.
But we can't go.
The God has not taken a bride.
The king did not say we must remain until the God took a bride.
He said we could not return until the insults of the God have been paid in blood.
The God has taken the eight men.
The brother of the eight men has paid.
What do you want from me?
Are you quitting?
Yeah, you know, the thing didn't just come up.
It's been building for a long time.
Music
Oh, hello.
Hello.
Yes, yes, my friends.
I was doing a little research for next week.
And I was trying to find a specific film.
And I couldn't remember the title of it, you know.
And if I can only, oh, it's right in front of me here.
Let's see.
Oh, yes.
Lovely title.
You'll like this one.
Music
Anyway.
Music
Hello.
Tonight.
It's the basement sublet of horror.
Music
Men of one go.
I have now assumed the role of tribal chief.
And I have allowed that your movie will continue to be shown.
Music
We have come.
Music
They are gone.
They're all gone.
The prep there is still hiding.
That's why many families live together in a community.
A community is a group of people living near each other,
helping each other do things they couldn't do by themselves.
What each person does is called his job.
Oh, hey, you called the eight men back.
I'm more than my father.
What is right?
Although my father was the king of Longo, I am his daughter.
Doing a good job in school.
You are helping yourself, your family, and your community.
I don't men are never coming back.
Do you want to live here the rest of your life without any men at all?
Wouldn't be like you.
Shut up.
Music
Do you ever worry about yourself, wondering if you're doing as well as you should,
whether people like you or what people really think of you?
Music
Please, her.
You know the penalty.
Anyway.
She said you are no king.
She must die.
Kill her.
Kill her.
Kill her.
Kill her.
Kill her.
I shall respect those with less ability,
and help them to develop their own abilities.
I am no king.
We have no men, and our young hunters will never return.
Auntie deserves to die, but she is right.
We do not want to live and to grow old and die without men.
Longo is ended.
Tomorrow we leave Longo.
We can't leave.
Where can we go?
We'll go south.
South?
To Guna.
Music
Daddy, I couldn't find the musicians.
Music
Music
If you're Ben, don't worry about that.
Just sing.
Music
Music
The women of the eight men.
Don't let them see us or kill us.
I know these women are from Guna, I'm sure.
No, no.
Unless the eight men live in Guna.
Well, I'll ask them if it is Guna.
Do you dare go?
Guard me with your spears.
Music
Good day, Sister Guna.
I come in peace.
Then go in peace.
I am a person with some limitations.
I can do nothing about it.
So I shall accept them with good humor.
You come from Longo.
How did you know?
We have heard of the Wongo women.
Mona?
Mona?
You come in peace with spears.
We are talked.
Ah!
I am a unique individual.
There is nobody just like me in all the world.
Ah!
There is still nobody.
Where did they go?
I do not know.
It must be the eight men came.
I do not like it here.
This is our home.
No, Wongo stands here.
But it is not home.
It is gone.
Angor came to ask for our spears to defend his village.
Let us go there.
There are women in Guna.
If the men of Guna fight, we will go on,
but not back to Wongo.
Here we go, Sal.
Better take this back, Jamie.
We did not know it was your dad, Jamie.
We would not have done it if we had known.
Leave me alone.
Take it, Jamie.
You keep it.
I do not want anything more to do with it.
Now, look, Jamie, do not get smart.
Do not forget, you could have been along instead of one of us.
Could have been one of our dads.
I would not see me moping around if it had been my old man.
Do not worry.
I am not forgetting a thing.
Just count me out for now.
There he is.
Wait for Guna and Sal.
You will be our scout.
Keep silent.
I cannot do another step.
We can stop for a minute.
I will go look ahead.
Now is the time of change and self-discovery.
It is junior high age.
Are there any more at home like you?
Nobody else can decide what he wants to do and when.
But me, I will forget it.
I am sorry.
Take four.
Oh, no.
It is the women of Wango.
What are you doing here?
I was hoping we would see you.
So, Wango has come to Guna after all.
Where are your friendly men?
There is not any Wango.
The eight men took it.
There are no more men.
Come out and we will cook your meal.
Gee.
Thanks, Mom.
Don't you like us?
Would you not rather have us for mates?
We can all go back to Wango.
You must go away.
We should not have talked with you at all.
What do we do now?
If they won't even speak to us, how are we going to persuade them?
On some things like current styles or taste in music,
you may wish to do your own thinking.
Why can't we get them to go with us?
But they are men.
That's what we came here for, wasn't it?
We will camp here.
You have found us.
These thongs are the mark of slaves.
For that something will happen to you.
When it does, you will know why.
If we had fear, we'd have crawled in our stomachs to the women of Guna.
We have no fear.
You have forgotten you are only a woman.
You are a man, man.
Anyway...
Now, my favorite song goes a little like this.
Anyway...
We come to the temple with the men who shall be our mates.
If these are your mates, why are they bound like slaves?
We dare not unbind them.
They would flee to Guna and there would be none to worship the dragon god.
There is danger.
I see spears coming to the temple.
They are here. Spears!
Who comes with spears?
It is Harko and the hunters of Longo.
We have come to present our mates to the dragon god.
Leave your spears.
Let them enter.
Anyway...
Let Harko come forward and speak.
We men of Longo thought our women were taken by the eight men.
We have found others.
We have come to present them to the dragon god.
Your father chose Omo for your mate.
How do you answer to that?
I will answer.
Omo is mine.
So be it!
When the total picture comes into focus,
you will find that the answer to who am I
usually goes something like this.
Anyway...
And so with a wink...
There.
And so with a wink and a nod.
The good looking men and women of Longo
move off to hanky-panky island.
That's it for a wild woman of Longo.
We'll be back next week, my friends,
with another movie for you.
And until then, good night, my friends.
Are we off now?
Oh, good.
Oh, I need a drink.
Oh...
Hmm...
This is getting to me, it really is.
Dance, men of Longo, before the dragon god!
Offer yourselves to him as sacrifice!
Dance, dance!
Dance!
Dance!
Dance!
Dance!
Dance!
Dance!
Dance!
Dance!
Dance!
Ah, there we are.
Anyway...
Yes, anyway...
Oh, we're on?
Well...
Yes, you didn't see that, kids.
Oh, good night, go to bed.
Anyway...
Thanks for watching!
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Thanks for watching!
Thanks for watching!
Thanks for watching!
Thanks for watching!
