Are you getting the right angle of my face?
Be a team player.
If she doesn't like the clip, we'll find another one.
We have ten hours of footage for what's supposed to be a 60 second commercial.
Six of which you felt the need to scream at everyone but Joanne.
What?!
Let's just finish this.
Hey boys, look.
I just made this film so much better.
So there are no duct tape shots for a duct tape commercial?
Now what?
Well, here we are.
Finally done.
Sure we had our minor differences, but I think we put out something that was us.
That represented the spirit and resilience of our group.
And I would bet my steady cam that, at the end of the day, we turned in something that the judges will have never seen before.
Oh, you're here.
I thought my hero would never come.
Wait, you foul alien fixin!
Captain Kilmont, you must trust me.
I can help you.
Why should I believe you?
You are the enemy.
Because I love you.
Alright.
And I also know the evil Aryan's weakness.
It's duct tape.
Did you say duct tape?
That's right.
And just when you thought it was only good for fixing those pesky rips and tears.
But with premium duct tape, you can turn a home repair item into an alien biological weapon.
Are you serious?
Just when you thought it was only good for fixing that rip in your couch.
Or plugging a fuel leak in an alien spacecraft.
It turns out it causes adverse allergic reaction.
Oh no! There he is! Captain Kilmont, save me!
I mean, us. I mean, my people.
Captain Kilmont, you dare to romantically entangle yourself with my peat-fart.
Now, you both will pay.
Now Captain Kilmont, here's your chance. Use the adhesive force.
Yes!
Biology! Biology!
You've outweighed the recast here with your key for how improvement to fight.
You did it!
You bet I did!
Now that he's gone, what else can the duct tape fix?
Captain, it will change the world. It will change the world.
What was that?
That was the worst thing I've ever seen.
I mean, what's the definition of being outside the mainstream if everything eventually becomes mainstream?
It's all just a big cycle.
And it was cool to like, plaid before and now isn't, but it was...
Where's our famous director?
He's not coming, but he threw this at me.
I think it's the letter from the company.
Dear Mr. Henson, thank you for submitting to the Young Filmmaker's duct tape commercial contest.
While we've received many wonderful, creative, unique short films,
we regret to inform you that your project was not one of them.
Please stop calling us.
Come in, mothership! Come in, mothership!
This is Captain Orchobia speaking from the Starship Salansia. We have captured the dino rights, I repeat.
We have captured the dino rights!
What are you doing?
I thought I told you to watch the interview room.
What is this action figure?
Where is your shirt?
Okay, that was weird.
Anyway, I thought we should catch up with everyone. It's been two months since the competition,
and, well, we've kind of lost touch with each other.
Hey Joanne, I just wanted to see what you were up to.
Oh, I have another bake sale coming up.
I thought it was important to give back to the community after becoming an award-winning actress.
Wait, you know we lost, right?
Lost what?
The duct tape competition? We've lost.
What?
You were in the room and we got the rejection letter.
I thought we were just having another dumb planning meeting.
Oh my god.
After that debacle, I am proud to announce that I have published my very first collection of poems
called Epistemology and Sorrow, and I'll be having my first meet-and-greet tomorrow to commemorate its release.
You know, I can't wait to see all my fans as we all come together to reach a higher order of human understanding
of the human emotion.
It's going to be transcendent.
Hi.
Hi, I heard about your new poems. I bet you need someone to give dramatic readings, don't you?
No, not really. I think my work is strong enough to be read on the page.
I am the master of sorrow, the director of pain.
So if you don't like my screenplays, well, you're just insane.
With all great Neptune's ocean, wash this blive clean from my hand.
No! This, my hand, will rather the multitudinous seas incarnadine making the green one red.
I am enigma, the spilled milk of the universe whose stream diverges from the main.
Is that confusing?
Good.
Is this a dagger which I see before me, the handle towards my hand?
That's not what I wrote. That's McBeth.
Well, I think I improved both of that.
Out, damn idiot! Out, I say!
Oh, great, it's you. Did you ever find your cornflakes?
No, not at all. I just thought that as one writer to another that your poems really resonated with me.
What I really took from it was an understanding that sadness and sorrow are just cleansing tears streaming down the palette face of humanity.
You really did get my book.
What's your name?
Uh, Greeny.
Um, really? I'd like someone to be one of them.
I caught up to Mike a couple of days later. He's been trying to get a role in a couple of high profile movies.
I really hope it works out for him.
Hello?
Hi, is this Mike?
Yeah, yes it is.
Great, this is Roxanne from Fox Studios.
Uh-huh, yeah?
Yeah, we've just finished evaluating your resume, and as it happens, we have an opening for you on our next big budget production.
It's a senior job? Yep, we believe it would be exactly tailored to your skills and abilities.
Yes, absolutely. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
This is so amazing.
Fuck.
Well, that's pretty much everyone.
Let's say it wasn't interesting. I mean, it wasn't what we expected, but the very act of movie making never really goes the way it's supposed to.
And I guess that's what we all got out of this.
What can I say? It's been one heck of a ride.
Oh, and Chris, I haven't really seen him around recently, but I hear he's still a bit bummed out that we didn't win.
Thank you.
