My name is Ronnie Muzumdar and I live in New York City.
I work for Johnson & Johnson in the Technology Division and I'm also a passionate entrepreneur.
One of my adventures actually is a restaurant in the Lower East Side named the Masala Walla.
Overall, I'm just having fun with life.
I think that's my real profession.
In about a month, the real show begins.
My life is going to have a whole new meaning.
I'll be a married man.
I'm going to be an India jumping in the middle of crazy chaos with all these guests, my friends,
that we're expecting from around the world.
It's going to be a traditional wedding.
We're going to follow every ritual out there and it's going to go on for more than a few days.
I'm excited.
I don't even know the emotions to tell you the truth.
I haven't felt any of these before.
But yeah, this is where it all begins.
It all begins.
Indian weddings are actually kind of funny because there are so many different types
of Indian weddings that exist.
Each part of India is different.
They eat different food.
They speak a different language.
The cultural aspects are different.
I happen to be from a state called West Bengal and the wedding tradition we're going to
follow is a Bengali wedding.
A Bengali wedding is all about tradition.
It's about understanding who you are, understanding your past, your religion, your background
and bringing it all together.
Clearly I didn't do an internship on weddings before so I had no idea what I was about to
get into and neither was there a book that I could have studied to say okay well this
is what I'm about to face.
I kind of said I'm going to just have fun, just go with the flow.
I just can't wait to show you what an Indian wedding is really like.
I was born in the 80s and the time was different because politically the city was incredibly
different.
It was a communist party that ruled the city and what I feel looking back at that is it
was frozen in time.
There were not many developments that were happening.
It was a city that life every single day felt the same.
And for a child who was here for the first 12 years of his life that was an incredible
experience because to me all that didn't matter.
What mattered was this local community on these streets, people would play cricket.
It's always been a chaotic city and I feel that is one thing Calcutta has always held
on to that has not changed.
You hear the sound, there's still construction, there's noise, there's dogs barking to people
yelling and taxis honking and just that's what the city is about.
I guess the truth is when I come back now after being away for 20 years it initially feels
a little overwhelming but after about 48 to 72 hours it just sinks in and it becomes home
and I somehow remember that method to the madness.
For a wedding it actually starts off with what you call a manly in a lot of cases so
it's not a typical thing but you'll see these hand arts on the girl's hands.
Right after the manly you go on and you're preparing for what's called a turmeric ceremony.
This is where the purification begins.
We put turmeric paste on the groom's face or the bride's face.
So that they get that inner glow.
Turmeric is extremely good and you mix that with oil.
My cousin snuck in some colors, there was pink and green and all kinds of stuff.
That's not normal.
Like I started putting this turmeric paste on everybody.
What's amazing about the city is the amount of colors you get to see.
If you just look around there's a pink house, there's an orange house, there's a green
house, blue house, purple house, green house, you look around you, every house, everything
has such bright, crazy colors and it adds to that vibe of the city.
You see major highriders with unbelievable amount of colors on it and that's what makes
Calcutta.
It's part of that feeling, I don't see much of that in New York.
New York is very steel and glass and that kind of a feeling, it has its own vibe.
But here, look around you, just standing on this rooftop, it's kind of cool.
Calcutta has not been the city that has developed the fastest.
A part of me is a little frustrated to be honest because everywhere you go there's a construction,
there's roads that are blocked but a part of me is happy to see that.
A part of me realizes that this is a turning point that the city is going through.
There is unbelievable amounts of constructions, highrises, massive hotels, there's JW Maryard
that's coming up there, Hilton is being built, so all of a sudden the city is becoming something
that it never was.
That's the magic of Calcutta, I would say.
We embrace the chaos.
Some of it is very familiar, the steel, those three wheeler auto rickshaws, some of the other
rickshaws and the honking, everything coming together, that chaos is still there.
It's just like I said, this new remix that I hear playing.
Very happy to be back, very happy to see the city become something much better.
I always saw a very strong potential in the city.
Yes, there you go.
The
whole big story behind this car, when my parents got married, they got married in an ambassador
car.
They decorated the car with Shola, that's what we call it, as opposed to flowers.
I kind of wanted to relive that.
I think this is the best gift that my father could have given me for the wedding, despite
all that he has done, it just meant so much to me.
It's like I'm literally defining moments all of a sudden, I feel I can't go on.
When I looked at my mom's eyes, that's when it was just like, oh man, like I grew up
all of a sudden, it was just...
It's called the little groom, and he gets to see how it works.
So the one day when he grows up, he goes through the same process, that's what it is.
This is my nephew.
So you always take a little person with you, a little person, I mean a little kid.
Understudy.
Right, understudy.
There's no other city that can sound like this.
Every city I feel has a very distinct sound, and if I close my eyes and if you don't tell
me where I am, I can tell you this is the sound of Calcutta.
As crazy as it seems, the roads and the traffic and all this mess, there's a huge nostalgic
element.
A friend of mine was asking me last night, she's like, you had keys to the whole world.
You chose Calcutta.
It had to be Calcutta.
It was Calcutta.
It was Calcutta.
It was Calcutta.
It was Calcutta.
It was Calcutta.
The garland exchange is basically a symbol that is unifying two souls, and you're embracing
each other through these amazing flower garlands.
The prayers have a tremendous amount of meaning.
It goes all the way back to hitting your soul.
What's interesting is I was taking it so lightly, but inside it is really different from having
a court marriage.
As you echo those words, it has a lot of meaning behind it that you take away even after the
wedding.
The reason for the presence of fire there is because it's the purest element that exists,
and you're primarily taking an oath to be with your wife and spend seven lifetimes with
her at least, so that's the meaning behind it.
The meaning of swaha actually means you surrender in front of the deity with yourself and with
all of your being.
What I realized is I can go through it crying as the fire was right there and the smoke
was making me cry, or I can just have some fun with it.
And I think the meaning is ultimately the same if you're having fun or being serious.
So that's what I started doing with the priests, and we just went on this battle of the swaha.
Since I was having fun with it, I think my father even slapped me at one point.
But yeah, like I said, the ultimate context and the meaning in my heart was the same.
The seven vows are supposed to serve as an anchor to keep the couple going through all
the ups and downs of life together.
As husband and wife, they're tied to each other in a sacred relationship, and it has
many strong mythological roots, which is meant to be lived forever.
The vermilion portion is probably the most important element of the wedding.
This is where she becomes my wife, where I put the vermilion, put it on my ring, and
actually put it right through the middle of her head.
It's a symbol of our marriage.
I took so much of it off and fell on her nose, and I'm not sure if she was too happy about
it.
What an amazing process, like, God just loved it, especially sitting around the fire.
That moment, you sort of forget the world, and it's just the two of you.
My name is Sri Oshi, and I'm an architect, and then I do a few other things, but creativity
is what I like.
I was actually born in Durgapur, a small town near Calcutta in India, and I stayed there
for about three years and moved to Delhi after.
When I was about 11 years old, I moved to the United States.
I would say I feel half and half, literally a part of me is very Indian, and I could never
lose that.
I'm very traditional.
But a lot of me is independent, and I guess that's a New Yorker in me.
The Indian bride is the embodiment of the goddesses, and there's a few of them in Hinduism.
One being Lakshmi, she's the symbol of wealth, she's the symbol of prosperity.
So the jewelry I was wearing was a symbol of just bringing in good luck to the family.
And then you have the goddess Thurgha, who is the symbol of courage and surpassing any
obstacles that comes along her way.
So you're basically a symbol of all that you're bringing with you and all that you're
to become.
It was the moment for me to go over to my own laws and to really be welcomed into my future.
It was really a meaningful moment for us.
The whole process of going over in this beautiful car and then being greeted by Ronnie's entire
family and his family's friends and our friends, it was really a meaningful moment for us.
After that process, I had to walk up the stairs and my feet were covered in red alta, and this
is this beautiful powder that gets covered along your ankle, your toes, and it means
that you've now become a woman, really.
And you're walking up to your new life, and you are bringing wealth, happiness, and good
luck into your husband's family.
I had to actually hold on to this fish in my hand, and it was wiggling around in my
hands, and I was so nervous, the process of holding that along with this jug of water
was a symbol of wealth and also not letting go of the happiness that I currently have
at that moment.
The elders feeding both me and Ronnie was just a way of blessing us, of giving us all
the luck we need for our future, and basically telling us that you're now husband and wife,
and you will live prosperously for the rest of your life.
There was the whole night right after the wedding called Kal Rathri, which means it's
the black night.
And it's said to be bad luck to see your husband that night, so you have to stay separate.
Hey, Seroshi, I'll see you at the roof.
I think it was overall meant to be a way for you to be patient to start your life together
and also to pass that moment of darkness.
The Indian culture is changing quite drastically.
Some of the elements of arranged marriage still exist.
You'll still see people going from America or, you know, Russia and going back to India
to get married.
And the understanding there is instead of the bride and the groom picking each other,
the families pick each other because there's so many different elements at play here.
So because when the bride comes home, they're not just having a life with this nuclear family
with the husband and their child, but it becomes this whole understanding of the broader family.
My wedding was not an arranged marriage at all.
We got to know each other quite some time back.
We, you know, we became amazing friends and then fell in love and decided to get married.
The difference was that while it was that element of love, we still decided to have a wedding
that was very traditional.
I guess we just got lucky.
Roddy's a really amazing and sweet guy and when I first met him, I was a little scared
of him.
Scared because he was very ambitious, very grown up and I felt like everything he's
achieved in his life was really admirable.
He was kind of my best friend before we even started dating, so we had a lot to talk about.
Our values are from the same place and though we've grown up in different times, I feel
like our heart belongs in the same place.
Before I was lifted, lifted to go to Ronnie in that pedestal, I was so nervous.
I swear I could literally fall right over and it was just chaos that took over.
I was really excited.
I was nervous and it was surreal.
As I was growing up, I had these two dolls and it was this little groom and it was this
little bride.
They were dressed up in Indian clothes.
One had a sari on and the other one had a dhoti.
And I would play with them and it was up till I was eight and I always imagined I would
get married that way.
India, surprisingly, gave me a lot, really a lot because in the middle of all the chaos,
in the middle of all the madness, we found a rhythm.
We found ourselves and I guess in a way if you can find each other, despite all that's
happening around you, the rest of your life becomes a little easier.
I didn't realize probably until I really got back to the United States of how much this
wedding meant to me.
The memories of my childhood I will forever live on.
I still close my eyes and dream of those days.
It doesn't matter how perfect or imperfect society was or is, it's who I am and that
part of who I really am connected with another soul and that was my reality.
I think there are elements of India that are so real to me, it makes me who I am and then
there are elements of the usual bureaucracy, how slow things move, how crazy things can
be.
It just gets to me a little bit.
I mean over time I've learned to cope with some of it but I think the love-hate relationship
continues.
But like I said, ultimately I can't deny who I really am.
It's that nostalgia, it's the memories of walking through the streets and smelling the
food and hearing the noises of all the family members on a crazy night just talking all
night long.
It's India, that's real and that's who I am.
It's India, that's real and that's who I am and that's who I am and that's who I am.
