What are you doing here?
Surprise inspection.
Listen, you can't keep coming around here harassing me.
I have tenor rights.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Do you think I'm being unfair?
Oh, gosh.
Maybe you should call the police.
Or how about one of your superhero pals, huh?
Too shit.
Come on in.
See?
I haven't blown up the place.
You listen to me, you little shit.
I know.
I know you are using this place as an unregistered lair.
And as soon as I have proof, your ass is out on the street.
That's insane.
And honestly, a little offensive.
I'm a totally secret lair.
Completely separate from this place.
Oh, yeah?
Where?
Well, if I told you, it wouldn't be a secret.
Well played, dick.
I have four whole books.
Avid Reader?
When I have the time.
Fifty Shades of Grey?
That one's actually pretty good.
Yeah, sure does, sure does.
But what happens when I do this?
This!
This!
This!
Is there anything I can help you with?
I thought it was a secret passage for sure.
I'm gonna slide out of it.
I know what you thought.
Okay, tough guy, what's behind the desk?
A wall?
All right, what's behind the wall?
Outside.
Right there.
You think?
Satisfied?
Show me the bedroom.
You unplug the fire alarm?
What? So I could burn to death?
I'm evil, not insane.
Listen, there's obviously no secret lair stuff going on here,
so I think it's time you left.
There really seems to be an order.
Except for this!
Serious.
Ah-ha!
Oh, I got you.
What is it, huh?
Some kind of missile, some sort of new fess-up jackass
I got you red-handed.
That is a flashlight.
What does it do?
Cook people, scramble their brains?
You can't have this shit, I wrote it into the lease.
That's a masturbatory?
I have sex with it.
I highly suggest not opening that.
Oh, God!
Now that you've inspected the place,
can I expect these little visits to stop?
Not a chance.
I know you're up to something, I just need to sniff it out.
I'm gonna be watching you like a hawk.
I didn't know your boyfriend was here.
Yeah, boyfriend.
Here.
You're interrupting.
I just wanted to say,
you shouldn't have to feel like you're hiding.
I think it's great, you and your guy, you know?
I mean, look at everyone who matters to you
is gonna accept you and screw everyone else, right?
I mean, you should be proud of it, loud and proud.
Yeah.
You know what? You're right.
I'm gonna take that to heart.
If you hear any more noises, neighbors talking,
just me and my boyfriend being loud and proud.
I voted no on age.
My nephew, I think, might be gay.
Okay.
I'm not saying he is, I'm just saying he might be.
I got it.
I'm back.
