Okay, so you and I are made conversation and you're telling me that it's cool for the
intern to text you on the mother effing weekend?
One of my biggest relationship fears is being with someone and not knowing their true intentions
or not knowing if I'm being bullshitted.
Not sure how to get over that.
Hi, Michael, thank you for joining me from Two Dope Boys in the podcast, which I get
to contribute on.
Thank you, I appreciate that.
Yes, which it just subscribes you by the way.
Get an iTunes.
A sound.
Two, the number two.
Yes, so now I have to call you out and put you on Dear Georgette and put you on the spot
with your personal life.
So, listen, name a time where you were, you bullshitted a woman and I want to know the
reason why.
Give me a situation.
So, several years ago I was in a relationship and it was done and there was a number of
reasons why it was done and I wasn't upfront about it and it's fucked up.
Right.
And it was, yeah.
I felt like, were there some lingering things, like something happened for you to make those
decisions where you didn't feel like you had to be honest with her?
I felt, I mean, I didn't want to hurt her feelings and then selfishly I didn't want
to go through the process of that conversation.
Because you knew it was going to be something if she, well.
I mean, it's painful, it's weird, it's painful for her.
But it's stressful for me, so that's like my heart.
But that's honest though, I get it.
You asked me to be honest.
I did, I did.
Which unfortunately I'm able to do sometimes.
But why wasn't she, and why do you think some women aren't given the benefit of the doubt,
of being able to handle?
In her case, because her commitment to the idea of what she wanted overrode the reality
of what was happening.
So I fit an image she wanted, there was a track she wanted, and the reality sucked.
Because that wasn't the case at all.
It wasn't the case.
Especially if that will not from your end.
Not from my end.
And I actually don't think deeply from her end either, but I wouldn't, I shouldn't assign
it to her.
Yeah.
Definitely not from me.
Yeah.
And then, well I mean, do you think she was, and again the kind of generalizing, not all
women, but do you think, do you think women want to hear the truth, someone want to hear
the truth?
Of course.
But what about in this case, because you weren't honest with her.
I think in this case, ultimately as messy, and I mean it was bad, so I can't call myself
out that much.
Trust him.
Michael Brooks.com, my new software side.
I'm not going to argue about that.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
So, no, but I mean, eventually yes, I think everybody does want a version of the truth.
Yeah.
For efficiency sake.
A version, okay.
No, because I also believe like in Buddhism, they talk about right speech versus just honesty.
Okay.
So, like some people go and make it their business to like tell everybody that like,
you know, their shirt looks bad or whatever.
And that can be fine in certain situations, but I still think especially in relationships
there should be some skillfulness, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Some tact on how you're kind of communicating.
Some tact, some emotional intelligence, but I think ultimately people don't do it because
either they're afraid, they don't want to hurt somebody, and I think there's just
avoidance of those kind of, that kind of messiness.
Now, hey, it's Coastal Home.
Eek.
Well, let me say this.
I think, I mean, there's no blanket solution to this, but I think at least a couple of
things that come to mind with your scenario and even at a time where I felt like I'd been
bullshitted before too.
Managing expectations.
I know that's been something that's been difficult for me to do because you have to
really kind of say, hey, if this conversation didn't verbally happen or, you know, you're
getting a vibe, like trust your instinct, but actually just don't assume it's something
more than what it is in your head.
Just because I'm thinking this doesn't mean that you're thinking that.
And then the other thing is maybe also having more of an idea of what I'm looking for.
Because if you know what you want going in and you're not seeing that immediately, you
always have the freedom to walk away.
Right.
I always make this point too of like be what you're looking for.
I agree.
You can't just have a story and a concept of what you want.
You have to, you know, like if you, I don't know, it could be real simple, right?
If you want to be with someone who's athletic, like probably be athletic or whatever, right?
That's like a really superficial example of it.
But I think focus on qualities and traits and the underlying variables that are going
to make someone something work and then go out and then execute your plan.
I love saying it.
I used to say this all the time, become what you seek.
Because how much you seek.
I'm down with that.
I'm fine.
Eww.
Started with you, Alexa.
Tell me a time where you overreacted in this situation.
