along with music
Mix it in the milk.
A good news, looks like the bordeaux samples came in today.
Wonderful, sit it down on the table.
Donovan, I don't mean to be a pill but I was wondering if you have the
ETA on the 960 dollar paycheck you owe me from November.
You should know these are lean economic times Catherine.
That doesn't answer my question.
You'll get your money soon.
Come here, I want you to look at something.
Because I'm two months behind on my car payment and I'm getting bitchy phone calls from the bank.
Why are you on Facebook?
I did a search and found an old girlfriend of mine from the 7th grade.
I thought you said social networking was for philistines.
I lied.
Come here, sit down.
I want you to read the message over.
You want me to proofread it?
Ridiculous.
It's not the grammar that needs to be checked.
I'm worried about coming off as tournate.
You wouldn't want that.
Can I ask why on earth you're trying to correspond with the ex-girlfriend from junior high?
Darling, don't be glim.
It's Donovan's juvenile attempt to make me jealous.
Sam, what is going on?
I walked in the door five minutes ago and all hell broke loose.
It's nothing to fuss about darling.
It should come as no surprise to you that I'm finally putting an end to this charade.
She's leaving me because of all the sexual affairs I've been having.
If bisexual affairs, you mean the complete inability as a man to perform even the simplest of Congress, then yes.
You are correct.
Truth is, she's much too dull for me really.
I prefer a lover who's more spry.
He's been acting out all day.
You're the one acting out.
I wouldn't be carrying on like this if you weren't leaving me.
Katherine, what's the second last paragraph in the message?
I want you to write something.
Look, I don't mean to sound curt.
I know you've got this whole thing going on,
but you've got some checks to sign before I catch a plane back to Akron to visit my folks.
You'll get your money.
When?
Once our work is resolved.
Once your marriage is resolved.
Once you shut up.
I don't think I'm paying you to be a smart mouth.
Fine.
What do you want me to do?
Ask her what her favorite intimate position is.
Tell her mine is the missionary.
I'm not writing that.
Well, you follow the statement with a punctuated smiley face with tongue poking out.
Or for God's sake, it's not brain surgery.
Donovan, you're delusional if you think a woman you haven't spoken to in 30 years is going to be wooed by your desperative.
Of course she is.
I'm one of the most highly regarded wine critics in Sonoma County.
Why don't you just send her your resume?
And why don't you plug your pie hole?
Samantha, before you trot off, there's one final screw that must be done.
Please tell me you're planning on sticking your head in the oven.
No, why would I?
Go to the desktop.
I want you to attach a file to the message.
Something meant to entice.
Am I to assume you're pointing me to the file labeled under nude pics?
Just go with it.
All right, we're all adults here.
Okay, yeah, that's exactly what I thought it was.
Good.
Now attach the file to the message and we'll be on our way.
Not a chance.
This is growth.
It's what?
It's lewd.
I mean, you know this could be interpreted as a gross sexual imposition, Donovan.
Whatever.
I'm also offering you throwing a romantic crypto palm springs.
It's practically a done deal.
Hold on.
You don't have the nine hundred sixty dollars to pay me for work,
but you can afford to take your imaginary concubine on a holiday vacation?
Well, centrally.
Oh, that's fucked up.
Don't worry, my wish.
Both of you need your heads examined and I'm deleting these awful pictures.
Don't you do it.
I'm giving you a direct order.
Get away from me.
Get away from me.
Get out of me.
Eighty-three.
Ninety-one.
Eighty-eight.
You know something about women.
Dwelling inside each one of them is the desire for a man who's a brute forward to the point.
They aren't attracted to foreplay and one of men who can get right down to it.
I hope you've retained a good lawyer.
You know nothing.
Oh, there's one last thing.
I'm taking the crock pot back with me.
You most certainly will not.
That's my crock pot.
It doesn't belong to you.
You'll never use it.
What would your dilettante culinary expertise?
How would you like a fistful of grapefruit?
I'm taking the crock pot and the cookware.
Not the mauveeel.
You can have the cheap stuff, but the mauveeel is not yours to take.
Or as I please, no.
It's over.
My body will walk with my body.
In fact, give it to me.
Oh, shit.
What the hell did you do?
It seems Donovan Skull had an unfortunate encounter with a wok.
A what?
A wok, truth be told.
It was inevitable such a thing would happen.
Is he dead?
I don't know.
He hit the deck like a rag doll.
You're calling the police.
Oh, Donovan, before you bring the pokeen on this,
I want you to stop and think about the situation.
Damn.
Oh, Donovan, I think I want to hit him again.
That's probably not a sound idea.
Oh, I know, but it felt so good when I clubbed him the first time.
Pleasant weather with God.
See, there you go, he's all right.
For a level.
That better not have been a mauveeel.
We shut up about the mauveeel.
I can't move my back.
What the hell have you done to me?
I'm not a doctor.
How am I supposed to know what your problem is?
Katherine, before you go catch a fine to...
Akron.
Whatever.
Please be a doll and throw me an ambulance on the way out.
Here's the thought.
How about you stick it out and forget that you were here tonight.
I don't want you to be labeled an accessory.
An accessory?
Oh, no, I was on the goddamn chair the entire time.
That's true, but who knows what the police will deduct from all of this?
Oh, Christ.
What's going to happen to Donovan?
Frankly, I'm not sure, but whatever transpires next,
I want you to be as far away from as possible.
Oh, fool.
Katherine is not too keen to fall for your bruise.
She's been an oil assistant to me for six months,
and I think she knows a thing or two about right and wrong.
And I'll write a cheque for the... how much does he owe?
$960.
And I'll add an extra zero for your troubles.
No, you've got yourself a deal.
You are a human toilet, Katherine.
You know that?
I hope you die from it or bring large background.
Just remember to keep your trap shots about this.
No problem.
I thank you.
My landlord thanks you and GMAC Financial Services.
Thank you.
Katherine, just to let you know,
you would have never cut it in the wine industry.
And you're far from refined.
And your vocabulary is abominable.
Right.
Well, I suppose the wine industry can kiss my lily white ass.
That's the spirit.
Katherine, you're a class act.
A real winner.
Leave her alone, Donovan.
Date down.
We both knew how this story was going to end.
I shouldn't know you'd be a death of me.
God damn it.
All right.
I didn't hear any of that so long, Sam.
We'll see you in the funny papers.
Oh, God, Katherine.
For the love of God, I never thought I'd live to see the day where I'd miss Ohio.
