My dad abandoned me.
I usually like to say it in more pleasant terms, terms that don't make it feel quite
so personal and devastating.
But that's what he did when he walked away 31 years ago.
He left me fatherless.
Growing up, I was as sunshiny as any little girl could be.
My world was all butterflies and rainbows and unicorns.
Everything happy and wonderful.
I was blissfully unaware of the brokenness affecting my family.
It wasn't until about the age of three that I realized my family was different.
I noticed other kids had men that lived in their homes, men called daddies.
So it was then that I set out to find a daddy of my own.
My search began with the neighbor down the street and included my favorite uncle and
a poor bewildered stranger at the grocery store, all of whom I delighted to call daddy.
I would often ask my mother, why don't I have a daddy like other kids?
She would always say, Jamie, you have the best daddy in the whole world because God
is your daddy.
He will never leave you and he will never disappoint you.
Her wise response established something that remains firm in me today.
My mother worked hard to care for my older brother and I.
Things were tight, but it always felt like we had so much.
We never went without food, without a place to live.
We never had to wear last year's school clothes.
We never missed a year of summer camp.
As teenagers, we even got to travel the world on various outreach trips.
There was never a time where my brother and I had to sit on the sidelines and watch other
kids enjoy their childhood.
Through the sacrifice of an amazing mother, the generosity of others, and the incredible
kindness of God, we lived abundantly in the midst of our lack.
Even in adulthood, I've experienced astounding provision and remarkable adventures.
I graduated from Bible college debt-free.
I got to teach the Bible in China and experience the care and hospitality of strangers in a
foreign land and now I get to serve my church for a living.
My whole life has been in glorious contradiction to my circumstances.
When I read verses in the Bible where God says he defends the cause of the fatherless,
I almost feel extra special.
My earthly father laid down my cause the day he walked away.
But the God of the universe carries it with unfailing love and perfect provision.
He saw me, abandoned and broken, and he wanted me.
All these years, he's made provision for more than just my physical needs.
He has guarded my heart and spared me from the heart-breaking path I could have wandered
as a fatherless daughter.
He has established himself as father to the very core of who I am.
I'm not abandoned.
I have the best daddy in the whole world, a father who is everything I ever could have
hoped for and infinitely more.
