I
I don't know what to say
Now
Five hundred
Five hundred
One, two hundred
Five hundred
Five hundred?
Yes
From the north to the west
Hand?
Yes, from the south
To T-pands
To T-pands?
To T-pands
To T-pands
To T-pands
Five hundred
Five hundred
Five hundred
Five hundred?
Five hundred
So, I see
For this team
I said yes
We were all of them
Yes
Well, we seem to have performed a great melon robbery
We thought at first we had bought an entire melon stall
It revolves around the number of melon stalls we've seen
There's a preposterous amount of watermelon on sale in this incredibly dry country
The reason this is an incredibly dry and desertified country
And the reason the Aral Sea has disappeared is clearly that it is all stored in watermelons
Fortunately, we have a plan to deal with this problem
We now have all the watermelons
And we're going to go and put them back in the Aral Sea
What I actually did was go over and smile at the nice ladies
One of them was grinning and laughing
So it seemed like a good sign at the time
And pointed a watermelon and asked how much
In perfectly good Russian, Shkolka, how much?
The man said something that sounded like 30
Which was unlikely, but possible, given that our cup of juice was 10 the other day
So, I pick up the watermelon
And say, really? 30?
And the guy says, no, 500!
At which point Matt arrives and says, really?
And I go, no, he can't be
So I looked at the ground
There was no pen or anything
And during the sound of five, he went, eh?
Not 500?
And the guy was like, ah
Took
The 30
The 100 extra I'd given him in an attempt to say
Is it 130? That sounds about right
Took the two other 100 coins out of my hand
Which is fine, that was a reasonable amount of money
Two quid
And I waited to see how many melons he'd bring
And he brought some melons
And we each took a melon, and he brought two melons
And then he went back and he brought two more melons
And then, and then
And at this point
We kind of run out of melon space
And there were some melons in the other car as well
And they brought their friend over
The bouncer, essentially
Who told us that apparently
It was a thousand per melon
And then started waffling on about how much it was per kilogram
Which made no sense
But because we were tourists
We could have all seven of them
For the price of a seventh of one
So, yeah, we did quite well
