Listen, Percy, the web, it's not just for those geeks down in Silicon Valley anymore.
It's a worldwide web.
You know, there's people all around the world zipping and zapping and zooping down the information
superhighway.
We need a website that's a rest stop for them.
Some place where they can go, hey, maybe there's a bathroom, I can take a leak.
Maybe I can buy a coffee, and we'll be like, it's cool, it's Oracle.
You're going to be working with an experienced web developer on this, so if you have any
questions, let me know, but welcome to Oracle.
Thank you, sir.
I won't let you down.
The website will be beautiful.
And tinkering with electronics as a trial, and I hope you deserve to learn from this
drive.
It's like putting out a little table and showing off a little card that would play music on a computer or make color was the most exciting thing in the world.
We thought we were a way ahead of the rest of the world.
When I was about to spend time tonight, based on what I thought it would be,
what it would look like to be taken out of a very large musical company,
a large group of artists and teachers who had a big influence on my whole life.
So I didn't do a big problem with it.
The best product was doable in that game.
The game would take a lot of time and it would fail as well as ever.
Hi, you must be...
San Vito, lead webmaster on the homepage project, and you are?
Percy Doon, lead designer of the homepage, was just hired today.
Great, I've been waiting for him to hire a designer.
So let's get right into it.
First thing though, before we start, if you just do me a favor and make sure you save all the images in your tables as a GIF format, it'll really help with load times.
GIF? You mean GIF, right?
No, I know it's spelled with a G, but it's pronounced like a J.
Just how the heck do you know that? What did you invent it?
Actually, I was an intern at CompuServe, so yes, I did help invent it and name it.
So why GIF?
Well, at CompuServe, we worked early and we worked late.
We didn't really have much time to make food for ourselves, so we mostly just ate our favorite food, which was peanut butter.
And most of that peanut butter was GIF brand, so when it came time to name it, it just seemed like the obvious choice.
Well, I do agree. GIF format should be used.
That's good to hear. Well, what's your story? How'd you get here?
Well, out of college, I worked for the CGC for a while, the Canadian Games Company, designing their little Pog chips.
Then after that, I worked for those super Nintendo guys designing their video game covers.
But those guys, they wouldn't know Tom's new Roman from a webding if you showed it to them.
But here I am working with the inventor of the dang GIF. You must know something about that design.
A little bit. I'm actually working on an animation for the website right now.
Really now? What is it?
Well, it's not really done yet. I can't show it to you, but it's gonna be big.
Listen, if we're working together on this, I have to know what that animation is.
Alright, well, it's a baby.
A baby?
A dancing baby.
You think a dancing baby is gonna be big on the web?
Yeah, I know it sounds dumb, but just wait.
Do you have a mother?
Yeah.
Do you have a grandmother?
Of course.
Do either of them browse the dang web?
No.
Exactly. The web is not for them. The web is for a working man.
And Sam, the only dang people who are gonna feel welcomed by a dancing baby on the web are grandmothers and mothers.
The men who go to the web, they want to be welcomed.
They want to be welcomed by something cool, not a dancing baby.
Well, I'm the webmaster, and I think I should have a say with what goes on the web.
You are no webmaster. You're a webman.
And Sam, there's no room for dancing babies on this home page.
So sit down.
Well, if there's no room for dancing babies, then what's left?
This.
What the hell is that supposed to be?
Tilt your head.
Oh my God.
Let's get to work.
Sam?
Yep?
I just sent you the last smiley.
Alright, I'll get that thrown in. We'll be good to go.
There it is.
It's perfect.
Percy?
Yeah?
How long is this?
Hooked on a feeling. It's one of my favorite songs.
That's what it needs.
What what needs?
The dancing baby. It needed a song.
Sam, Sam, we had an agreement, and it didn't include a dancing baby, if I remember correctly.
Percy?
We're going to go in there. We're going to show them what we got.
We got a beautiful side full of smileys that he's going to love.
And good God almighty, Sam, if you mention a dancing baby, that's the end of both of us.
Percy, please.
Sam, I want that baby gone.
Sam?
Yeah?
Get rid of that baby. I want it gone.
Alright, Percy.
Gentlemen, everything go smoothly?
Indeed it did.
Alright, what do you have for me?
Well, if you go to the web page right now, it is finished.
Oh, it's already up. Perfect.
Indeed.
Let's bring up Netscape Navigator.
Is this a joke?
Excuse me, sir?
I hired you to make a web page for a corporation.
It's covered in fucking smileys.
Sir, I...
Sir, the smileys welcome the people to the home page.
It looks like a fucking children's book.
I didn't hire you to make this corporation look like a joke.
You're both fired!
Sir?
Sir?
Sir?
No.
I got something else.
What?
Don't listen. It's a horrible idea.
It's a terrible idea.
Just hear me out. Just hear me out.
It's a 3D dancing baby animation.
Oh, a dancing baby, huh?
Yeah, yeah, we put it up right at the top of the website.
Do I look like a grandma to you?
Just, just give it a shot.
Get out!
You know what? You're wrong.
You're both wrong.
Sir, we can fix this.
I gave you a job.
You gave me a webpage covered in smileys.
Leave.
Sorry I wasted your time.
Sam!
Sam!
I can't stop this feeling
Deep inside of me
Girl, you just don't realize
What you're doing
When you hold me
In your arms so tight
You don't let me know
Sam, I was wrong.
You are a webmaster.
Put down a feeling
I'm high on the reading
That you'll end up with me
Lips as sweet as candy
It's tasting some of mine
Girl, you got me thirsty
Forever, come on
Got a plug from you, girl
But I don't need no cure
I just stay up again
If I can't show
When we're all alone
Keep it up girl
Yeah, you turn me on
Put down a feeling
I'm high on the reading
That you'll end up with me
