music
Cory
music
Cory
music
What's happening Cory?
Are you going to go ahead and have those TPS reports ready for us this afternoon?
Probably not.
Oh, yeah.
You haven't turned one in for a month now.
So, I guess we should probably go ahead and have a little talk.
Yeah, kind of in the middle of something right now.
Yeah, I'm going to need you to come in tomorrow.
So, if you could be here around nine, that'd be great.
Tomorrow's Saturday?
Oh, oh, I almost forgot.
If you could go ahead and come in on Sunday too, that'd be great.
Okay.
music
Are you down on your luck? Do you have regrets?
Do you have a wish that you could turn back time, time, time, time, time?
Like share.
Just like share. It's possible.
Click on the button below to find out what the government has been hiding from you.
Okay? It's possible.
Time travel is real, my friend.
Look at me.
Right now, I am in 1989.
Crazy ass selfie where he certainly is.
Don't believe me?
I just bought this off the rack brand new in 1985.
Is it like a hidden camera in here? My candy camera?
Stop looking for a hidden camera, all right?
Pay attention, all right?
This is real. Time travel is real, all right?
Click on the button below before we tie it out and they send phones from the future to kill me.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four.
Uh, what the hell?
Cory!
So Cory, how's it going?
How's that TPS report coming along?
Oh, I figured I would just do it this weekend.
I'm gonna have to fire you.
Oh, you almost got me. Not quite, but almost.
Yeah. I'm gonna need you to go ahead and pack up your things, okay?
Yeah, serious, are you?
Yeah, I'm afraid I am.
I have to leave right now?
Karen will mail out your termination paperwork.
That's our stapler. That'll have to stay here, okay?
Do you want me to set the building on fire?
That's Italian for have a nice day.
Yeah.
So, um, no need to panic or anything, but I'm late this month.
Uh-huh.
I've been late before, so I'm sure it's nothing.
Uh-huh.
Shit!
Why'd you give me a hand?
Oh, come on, babe. You know playing video games helps me relax after a long, hard day?
A hard day of doing what exactly?
Posting cat videos on Facebook and retweeting everything by Rachel Lee Cook.
Hey, she's still all that.
You need to grow up.
Tons of people my age still play video games?
Everything's a joke with you. I mean, I love that about you, but just not all the time.
I don't have a problem helping you sweep right now.
I don't even live here and I do everything.
I never asked you to do it.
If I didn't do it, then who would?
You know, I just washed four weeks of dishes and then I folded all of your laundry,
not to mention I fed your dog.
Babe?
Are you about to start?
What are you talking about, start?
You know, I mean, about to ride the cotton pony.
What?
You know, this is exactly what I was talking about.
Wait, hey, I'll get you some chocolate. I'll make you a bubble bath.
Wait, Gino, where are you going?
Wait.
Like I said, I...
Everything's a joke with you.
It just proves that you weren't listening before. You were just too busy playing your game.
Oh, Gino.
I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
I think we need to take a break.
Okay, okay.
You want to take a walk or you want me to go for a drive?
No, a break from us.
Like, like, like Ross and Rachel break?
I mean, but you know, we're Chandler and Monica.
I don't know what to say.
I don't want this to be the end of us.
That's not really your choice.
What?
Gino, no, come on.
Let's talk about it, please.
Daisy.
I'm sorry I didn't feed you.
We are on dire need of more shots, me lady.
We're coming right up, Josh.
I do believe you meant to say coming right up your grace.
I think that three rounds was already enough.
Yo, I'm the one tipping, so yes to another round minus the scab.
I never say no to a slippery nipple.
Who doesn't love slippery nipples?
I am so royally screwed.
No, honey, you're not screwed.
Yet, redheaded stunts are next round.
Claire, stop crashing my pity party.
You're going to be fine.
It's just one bad day.
Like the bad day I had when you forgot to get Matchbox 20 tickets.
God, Claire, that was like 25 years ago.
Let it go, let it go.
First off, it was my birthday.
Second, it was 20 years ago.
And you know, I cried myself to sleep listening to 3 a.m. on repeat.
That must have been a long day.
Claire, if I could change that, I would.
Trust me, okay?
But right now, okay, right now is my bad day.
The one where I got fired and the one where Gina wants to take a break.
Shit, like Ross and Rachel.
Man, are you kidding me right now?
Where have you been, like, this whole time?
This head of his ass, where else?
Ha, ha.
Don't you get it, bro?
You're single.
You're free.
And to top it off, you can sleep until noon every single day
and wake up to an unemployment check.
So can everybody at this table please stop whining.
We're here to celebrate tonight, yo.
Oh, perfect timing, Jess.
Woo-hoo!
Cheers to your next adventure, bro.
And may it be most excellent, dude.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
A real toast.
Never above, never below, always between.
Now drink up, you sad little bitches.
Are these getting stronger?
I told you not to get them another one.
Paul, if you were any more of a bitch,
you would have puppies suckling on your slipper and nipples.
Ah, so funny you're giving me a loan.
Wow, Heather did say that's the only one you can get up.
Oh, this is good.
I'm going to need some popcorn for this.
Can I get some popcorn over here, stat?
I think I'm going to head out.
I need to clean my head.
Yeah, me too.
Heather wants me home to do some inflated sponge watching.
Which show? Jane the Virgin? Gilmore Girls?
Bananas and pajamas? No.
Wait, wait, I know.
It's a glee marathon!
Woo-hoo!
I knew it. He's a gleeke.
Haven't you guys ever noticed he's always humming journey songs?
Don't stop believing.
I think Corey used to be Blaine in his past life.
I did have a snazzy collection of bow ties.
Well, ladies, the party is leaving.
I have a vlog I need to film before the hangover sets in.
The topic this week on Claire Explains It All.
Well, it's a toss up between the Cartrashians and our president,
Trumpety Trump's complete shit show.
My bet's on Agent Orange.
You have to tune in tomorrow to find out.
Hey, I'm going to hang back here a little bit.
You keep your chin up, Caruso. You got this, bro.
Okay.
Well, bye.
See you tomorrow.
Wait, I know. It's a clean marathon!
Let it go. Let it go.
Let it go. Let it go.
What's up here?
What's up here?
He told us to do action.
Last time I fell down.
No, I know.
I feel like I gotta go closer.
Yeah.
