I
Come in come in. I
Have a problem. Oh the next patient. I need to excuse myself from the session. Why I don't think I can objectively evaluate
Has he been threatening no rude no obnoxious. No, what it's a feeling. What kind of feel I don't know
It's hard to pin down. There's just something about it. There's no record of any house. It's not as tight
Did you just say tight? I mean in this office. There are no types just people. That's why I need to excuse myself
Absolutely not as a soon-to-be doctor you'll be working with all kinds of people
So you'd better get past that tight mentality right now. I'll try good
Bring in the patient
Mr. Hyde doctor just reviewing your anything else I need to give you nope
Okay, so so talk to me, but it's all in the record in your own words
It's hard to you know when did you realize you well I did you play with dolls as a child?
Uh
No, did you wear women's clothes? What?
That's just weird. Were you more comfortable around girls and boys? Hell no
I still can't talk to without blushing. So you were pressed urges until you were an adult
Actually, I never had any less of a gradual awakening and more of an epiphany. Yeah
What's an epiphany and a ha moment? Well, I just had a birthday and I'm happy birthday
But we need to stay on track, but that's why I'm here. Let's get back to your urges
I kind of never have them never but I'm ready to start start what the urges
Let's try again. Like I said, I just had my 50th birthday which officially makes me and I can't even say it
I can't even hear it. Is that what this is about a man who is desperate for change
But you have no urges. I didn't need them then. I do know
No, you just can't opt in for urges. You either have them or you don't wait for it
Wait
Yep
I just had an urge. Oh, jeez. You're obviously confusing a midlife crisis. It's not a midlife crisis
It's a world crisis. All right. All right. Let's just take a step back
There is no going back when you're an old white guy. It's called
Algitis. What? Old white guyitis. Algitis for short. Symptoms include a
Highest predilection to preach family values while voluptuously valuing the family nanny. I'm weak
So weak
Other symptoms include forcing TV manufacturers to only produce black and white TVs and a diluted attempt to return to the 50s
Yes, it does sound like Algitis
But unfortunately I cannot approve your sex change
Then I can't go on
Just calm down. I would if you'd approve my sex change. You're not thinking it through
What's to think about? I'm stuck as an old white guy. You don't have to rub it in
Rebecca, would you mind checking on our next patient? But I thought you wanted me. That's okay
I can take it from here. Sure. Shuffle me off. No sense wasting time on a lost cause, right? Amen to that
Yeah, I swear this never leaves the room. Yeah, I swear whatever
What the? Real man maxitan and daily head shade. That's out. Out. Damn it Algitis. It looks so natural
Damn straight. Dialging is real man maxitans fastest growing category. Nice concept
But no way I'd pass for anything other than the lily white
Who's?
No, you're just fucking with me
Is that wonder bread with bovina cheese and miracle whip? Only a white guy eats squash
You actually play when I'm not collecting stamps. Jeez
You're even whiter than me
You bounce a flashlight on my cranium. You can send morse code to mars. That means I could finally be free at last
Free at last. Break out almighty. You can be free at last. Thank you doctor
Come back. Don't worry. You won't have to hit me much longer
What just happened? Nevermind. Next patient is here
My hub needs to be abbreviated. Malignant? Only when I form words
Algitis.
