Oh, please make it stop.
Erica?
Um, are you in here?
No?
Oh.
Hi.
Hi.
Um, are you playing hide and seek?
Cause I don't think your kids are in on it.
Oh honey.
It's okay.
Do you want to come out from there and tell me what's wrong?
Okay, you can stay there. Just tell me what's wrong.
I got it.
Just take them please.
Okay.
I think it should be good for now.
Tommy is napping and the other two are playing video games.
As long as they don't actually try to kill each other this time.
I think I'd rather just lock them in the basement with a knife and an apple.
See who wins.
Oh my god, Erica.
I'm just kidding.
Um, is it really that bad?
Um, do you see where I am right now?
Yeah. Point taken.
I just, I don't, I can't take it.
I don't even have a life anymore.
Tommy, get out! Leave mommy out! Tommy, get out! Leave mommy alone!
Isn't that the point?
Look buddy, it's okay. Relax.
I really need you to consider this because I am literally losing my mind.
Look, I've thought about it and I just don't think it's a good idea.
Okay, you've thought about it. You don't think it's a good idea?
It's not a good idea.
Okay, cool.
It's not a good idea. Not fine.
Listen, I don't care how badly you need it.
Your D.I.C.K. isn't getting anywhere near like U.S.S.Y unless you get the snip.
Really?
Yes.
What if we want to have another fucking kid, Erica?
The shop is closed, bro. Go have a family somewhere else and leave me out of it.
Tommy, let's go watch some cartoons.
Now I know why all these moms have full wine and medicine cabinets.
We need to get you out more without the kids.
How? Mike is always busy and he can't even handle all three of the kids at the same time. No one can.
I mean, mom could maybe.
No, she would just complain the whole time. You're the only one I trust and you're busy too.
Right now, yeah. I'm sorry. You know I would if I could.
I know.
But we've got to figure something out because this cannot be your go-to option.
Little Mike's almost ten. He can handle it.
Ryan's a good boy over me food. Tommy will just have to tough it out.
And your husband?
Yeah, you're right. He wouldn't last a day.
Well, it serves him right. This is all his fault anyway.
Partially true.
Look, I know I don't have kids yet, but I know that you are a great mom.
But that cannot be your only identity.
I mean, how many adult conversations do you have on a regular basis?
Daily basis. Mike, mom, and the crossing guard don't count.
Well, you're not really giving me a whole lot to work with here.
Well, and when's the last time you went out with Danielle or Stacy?
Right, fuck. Way to make me feel neighbor than I already am.
You're not, though.
I mean, you were the one who held all the cool parties when mom was away.
The coolest thing I did was hang upside down from a tree and read the encyclopedia.
Yeah.
But when you got pregnant with little Mike, you decided to step up and be a responsible mom.
And that's fucking awesome.
Just don't deprive yourself of real adult fun or settle into this stepford housewives role
like all the other moms have, because that's not you.
Yeah, you're right. I can do this.
Fuck, yeah, you can. Are you hungry?
Oh, my gosh, I'm starving. This gluten-free dust ain't cutting it.
Um, just give me a few more minutes. It'll be good for everyone.
Okay, just a few more minutes.
Are you sure?
Yeah, just a few more minutes.
Oh, yeah, just a few more minutes.
